#04/12/2021

[shopsystem]

Orbyt Studio / Supply.Family / iPhone 12 (04) / Mockup / 2021

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[mostlysignssomeportents]

“If buying isn’t owning, piracy isn’t stealing”

20 years ago, I got in a (friendly) public spat with Chris Anderson, who was then the editor in chief of Wired. I'd publicly noted my disappointment with glowing Wired reviews of DRM-encumbered digital devices, prompting Anderson to call me unrealistic for expecting the magazine to condemn gadgets for their DRM:

https://longtail.typepad.com/the_long_tail/2004/12/is_drm_evil.html

I replied in public, telling him that he'd misunderstood. This wasn't an issue of ideological purity – it was about good reviewing practice. Wired was telling readers to buy a product because it had features x, y and z, but at any time in the future, without warning, without recourse, the vendor could switch off any of those features:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/12/29/cory-responds-to-wired-editor-on-drm/

I proposed that all Wired endorsements for DRM-encumbered products should come with this disclaimer:

WARNING: THIS DEVICE’S FEATURES ARE SUBJECT TO REVOCATION WITHOUT NOTICE, ACCORDING TO TERMS SET OUT IN SECRET NEGOTIATIONS. YOUR INVESTMENT IS CONTINGENT ON THE GOODWILL OF THE WORLD’S MOST PARANOID, TECHNOPHOBIC ENTERTAINMENT EXECS. THIS DEVICE AND DEVICES LIKE IT ARE TYPICALLY USED TO CHARGE YOU FOR THINGS YOU USED TO GET FOR FREE — BE SURE TO FACTOR IN THE PRICE OF BUYING ALL YOUR MEDIA OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AT NO TIME IN HISTORY HAS ANY ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY GOTTEN A SWEET DEAL LIKE THIS FROM THE ELECTRONICS PEOPLE, BUT THIS TIME THEY’RE GETTING A TOTAL WALK. HERE, PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH, IT’LL MUFFLE YOUR WHIMPERS.

Wired didn't take me up on this suggestion.

But I was right. The ability to change features, prices, and availability of things you've already paid for is a powerful temptation to corporations. Inkjet printers were always a sleazy business, but once these printers got directly connected to the internet, companies like HP started pushing out "security updates" that modified your printer to make it reject the third-party ink you'd paid for:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

Now, this scam wouldn't work if you could just put things back the way they were before the "update," which is where the DRM comes in. A thicket of IP laws make reverse-engineering DRM-encumbered products into a felony. Combine always-on network access with indiscriminate criminalization of user modification, and the enshittification will follow, as surely as night follows day.

This is the root of all the right to repair shenanigans. Sure, companies withhold access to diagnostic codes and parts, but codes can be extracted and parts can be cloned. The real teeth in blocking repair comes from the law, not the tech. The company that makes McDonald's wildly unreliable McFlurry machines makes a fortune charging franchisees to fix these eternally broken appliances. When a third party threatened this racket by reverse-engineering the DRM that blocked independent repair, they got buried in legal threats:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/20/euthanize-rentier-enablers/#cold-war

Everybody loves this racket. In Poland, a team of security researchers at the OhMyHack conference just presented their teardown of the anti-repair features in NEWAG Impuls locomotives. NEWAG boobytrapped their trains to try and detect if they've been independently serviced, and to respond to any unauthorized repairs by bricking themselves:

https://mamot.fr/@q3k@hackerspace.pl/111528162905209453

Poland is part of the EU, meaning that they are required to uphold the provisions of the 2001 EU Copyright Directive, including Article 6, which bans this kind of reverse-engineering. The researchers are planning to present their work again at the Chaos Communications Congress in Hamburg this month – Germany is also a party to the EUCD. The threat to researchers from presenting this work is real – but so is the threat to conferences that host them:

https://www.cnet.com/tech/services-and-software/researchers-face-legal-threats-over-sdmi-hack/

20 years ago, Chris Anderson told me that it was unrealistic to expect tech companies to refuse demands for DRM from the entertainment companies whose media they hoped to play. My argument – then and now – was that any tech company that sells you a gadget that can have its features revoked is defrauding you. You're paying for x, y and z – and if they are contractually required to remove x and y on demand, they are selling you something that you can't rely on, without making that clear to you.

But it's worse than that. When a tech company designs a device for remote, irreversible, nonconsensual downgrades, they invite both external and internal parties to demand those downgrades. Like Pavel Chekov says, a phaser on the bridge in Act I is going to go off by Act III. Selling a product that can be remotely, irreversibly, nonconsensually downgraded inevitably results in the worst person at the product-planning meeting proposing to do so. The fact that there are no penalties for doing so makes it impossible for the better people in that meeting to win the ensuing argument, leading to the moral injury of seeing a product you care about reduced to a pile of shit:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

But even if everyone at that table is a swell egg who wouldn't dream of enshittifying the product, the existence of a remote, irreversible, nonconsensual downgrade feature makes the product vulnerable to external actors who will demand that it be used. Back in 2022, Adobe informed its customers that it had lost its deal to include Pantone colors in Photoshop, Illustrator and other "software as a service" packages. As a result, users would now have to start paying a monthly fee to see their own, completed images. Fail to pay the fee and all the Pantone-coded pixels in your artwork would just show up as black:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/28/fade-to-black/#trust-the-process

Adobe blamed this on Pantone, and there was lots of speculation about what had happened. Had Pantone jacked up its price to Adobe, so Adobe passed the price on to its users in the hopes of embarrassing Pantone? Who knows? Who can know? That's the point: you invested in Photoshop, you spent money and time creating images with it, but you have no way to know whether or how you'll be able to access those images in the future. Those terms can change at any time, and if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself.

These companies are all run by CEOs who got their MBAs at Darth Vader University, where the first lesson is "I have altered the deal, pray I don't alter it further." Adobe chose to design its software so it would be vulnerable to this kind of demand, and then its customers paid for that choice. Sure, Pantone are dicks, but this is Adobe's fault. They stuck a KICK ME sign to your back, and Pantone obliged.

This keeps happening and it's gonna keep happening. Last week, Playstation owners who'd bought (or "bought") Warner TV shows got messages telling them that Warner had walked away from its deal to sell videos through the Playstation store, and so all the videos they'd paid for were going to be deleted forever. They wouldn't even get refunds (to be clear, refunds would also be bullshit – when I was a bookseller, I didn't get to break into your house and steal the books I'd sold you, not even if I left some cash on your kitchen table).

Sure, Warner is an unbelievably shitty company run by the single most guillotineable executive in all of Southern California, the loathsome David Zaslav, who oversaw the merger of Warner with Discovery. Zaslav is the creep who figured out that he could make more money cancelling completed movies and TV shows and taking a tax writeoff than he stood to make by releasing them:

https://aftermath.site/there-is-no-piracy-without-ownership

Imagine putting years of your life into making a program – showing up on set at 5AM and leaving your kids to get their own breakfast, performing stunts that could maim or kill you, working 16-hour days during the acute phase of the covid pandemic and driving home in the night, only to have this absolute turd of a man delete the program before anyone could see it, forever, to get a minor tax advantage. Talk about moral injury!

But without Sony's complicity in designing a remote, irreversible, nonconsensual downgrade feature into the Playstation, Zaslav's war on art and creative workers would be limited to material that hadn't been released yet. Thanks to Sony's awful choices, David Zaslav can break into your house, steal your movies – and he doesn't even have to leave a twenty on your kitchen table.

The point here – the point I made 20 years ago to Chris Anderson – is that this is the foreseeable, inevitable result of designing devices for remote, irreversible, nonconsensual downgrades. Anyone who was paying attention should have figured that out in the GW Bush administration. Anyone who does this today? Absolute flaming garbage.

Sure, Zaslav deserves to be staked out over an anthill and slathered in high-fructose corn syrup. But save the next anthill for the Sony exec who shipped a product that would let Zaslav come into your home and rob you. That piece of shit knew what they were doing and they did it anyway. Fuck them. Sideways. With a brick.

Meanwhile, the studios keep making the case for stealing movies rather than paying for them. As Tyler James Hill wrote: "If buying isn't owning, piracy isn't stealing":

https://bsky.app/profile/tylerjameshill.bsky.social/post/3kflw2lvam42n

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/08/playstationed/#tyler-james-hill

Image: Alan Levine (modified) https://pxhere.com/en/photo/218986

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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[dawnoftime22]

wait for you.

| N.R

Warnings: none!

Summary: While Nat was busy doing her work late in the night, you sat sleepily in her lap.

Word Count: 426

Category: pure fluff

| Started on 04/12/2021, 9:12 AM |

| Finished on 05/12/2021, 1:21 PM |

Masterlist

“If there shall be a day where I must go to sleep without you, then I'd rather not rest.”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

Your head was in the crook of her neck, and your tired eyes started to slowly droop, but you tried to stay up longer.

Natasha, on the other hand, was working on something on her laptop, her hand going around your body to reach the keyboard and touchpad. It's past midnight by now, and the two of you have been in bed for a few hours.

She didn’t mind having you there in her lap, since she knows how much you don’t sleep well when she isn't around.

But you tried to reject the sleep either way, still wanting to wait for her to finish.

The sound of the keyboard clacking was probably the only thing you were able to focus on because of your tiredness.

Natasha noticed that you weren’t asleep yet, and felt your head slightly dropping then going back up every now and then.

She didn’t want to jolt you fully awake by speaking, so instead she spoke quietly.

“Любов (love), why aren’t you sleeping?” Her hand trailed away from the laptop, placing it on the side of your arm instead and drawing small circles with her finger.

Your only response was a small, quiet whine, nuzzling further into her neck to hide.

The redhead sighs, and tries to gently push you so that your head was on her chest. It didn’t take long though, considering your energy was gone to the point that your body couldn’t even try to stiffen itself to defend from the movement.

That was when she saw how tired you looked with your half-lidded eyes.

She wished she could just betray this piece of work she had to have done by the early morning, but she was almost done. So, every now and then her head goes to kiss you on the forehead or cheeks, whispering soft reassurances.

Your body was desperately trying to fall asleep at this point, but your brain still didn’t let you.

Finally, Nat turned off her laptop and set it aside so that she could cuddle you back properly.

Her hands went around your waist, one going under your shirt to draw meaningless patterns on your skin.

Yours, though, was near her neck, playing around with her arrow necklace. You always loved to fidget around with it whenever you were cuddling with her because it helped to calm you.

“I’m right here. I won’t be going anywhere, детка (baby).” The redhead above you says as you sleepily look back at her.

She smiled, taking in how adorable you were in your sleepy state.

“Promise?” you whisper, but you were so close she could hear you.

“Promise.”

“Now go to sleep.”

---------------------

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@notevenanna

[silliestgirlintheworld]

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[junosmindpalace]

GEMINI BIRTHDAY BASH!

🎧 it's so sweet, knowing that you love me.

synopsis: celebrating their birthday...w/ the hq gemini men!

pairing(s): timeskip/present!hajime iwaizumi, koshi sugawara, shoyo hinata

content: references to 2024 dates but doesn't need to be strictly speaking (iwa's is more 2021), food (in suga's and hinata's), very short and brief angst(?), otherwise all fluff and fun!

total wc: 3.6k

a/n: it was my birthday a few days ago (june 17th) and i thought i would celebrate by writing for some gemini characters! i know shoyo is a cusp but i wanted to write him too </3 also this was my first time creating a graphic please be nice i am aware its a little plain </33

HAJIME IWAIZUMI: JUNE 10TH

The clock in your living room reads 11:55 in the evening; Hajime’s birthday is five minutes away. 

You both have work in the morning, so you should be in bed sound asleep. Everything has been done as normal; the whole nighttime routine of eating dinner (that you insisted on making) together, showering, brushing your teeth. Except instead of completing the routine by cozying up in bed, you’re cozying up on your living room couch, the light in the kitchen on, and the blue light from the TV keeping your tired eyes in a trance. 

Hajime’s arm is lazily outstretched over your shoulders, your fingers intertwined with the hand that dangles beside your head. His other arm is bent sideways on the couch pillow, head against his fist as he watches through bleary eyes the movie in front of him. Though your eyes are trained on the action on the TV, your ears don’t process the mumbling that pairs with it, too engrossed in your low conversation about each others’ day. 

“—and Hinata wanted something more to do for himself, so I’ll be reviewing his progress and seeing what I can do. Seriously, the guy is a monster at times. Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’m really looking at him, with how far he’s come since his high school days.”

“They all seem to be of another caliber now,” you replied somewhat drowsily, yet no less engaged.

“They’re intense, that’s for sure,” he sighs, bringing his head to rest behind the cushion and leaning closer toward your own. “But they’ve always been like that.” 

He’s completely unaware of the time and date approaching as he drones quietly about the day he’s had. He notices, on occasion, your glances up at the wall where your clock was located, and thought you were anxious to get to sleep.

“Hey,” he nudges your knee with his own. “you wanna head to bed?”

“Hm? No, no, not yet. Keep talking, I wanna hear.” 

Upon your insistence, he obliged reluctantly, resuming his chatter for a little while longer as you hum and nod. 

He feels comfortable like this, with your head against his chest, body snuggled close to his side, the low hum of the TV, the dim light. He, for a moment, finds his eyes gently closing unconsciously. You wait for him to continue his explanation at a pause, but are only met with the quietness of the TV. A slight stir prompts Hajime’s eyes to open immediately, and he shifts a little as he takes in your face, peering up at him through small eyes.

“Haji.”

“Mm?”

“You sleeping?”

“M’not.”

You placed a hand on his chest as you turned your body to look at the clock. It now reads 12:04 in the morning. You rub your eyes and reach for the phone on the coffee table in front of you, and when it blinks to life, it blinds you with the time and the new date.

June 10. 

“Ugh, put that away,” Hajime groaned as he turned away from the straining light on your phone, lolling his head to the other side against the couch cushion. You quickly slid it back onto the table, and then collapsed again against your boyfriend’s chest, hugging his middle tightly and digging your chin into his chest as you looked up at him with a wide smile.

“Happy birthday, Haji.” 

His eyes reopen slightly, and he angles his head toward the clock to view the time for himself: 12:05. 

He tucks his chin in so he meets your gaze and the sweet, tired smile on your face, and finds one of his own, tired yet tender, slowly propping up the apples of his cheeks. So that’s why you had been eyeing the clock, all for him and his silly birthday. Of course it would be you who remembers his birthday before he even does. You were sweet and thoughtful in that way.

“So that’s why you wanted to stay up a little longer, huh?” His tone is a faux annoyance for only a moment before his arm around your shoulders curls a little tighter in endearment, and he knocks his forehead against yours, gently and playfully, as you let out a short giggle at the gesture. “Thank you, baby.”

“What do you wish for?”

“To get some rest,” he yawned as he pulled away, going to sit up from the couch. 

“Why would you say that? Now it won’t come true!”

Your weight on his lap and arms now thrown around his neck anchored him to the couch. He gives you a deadpan look as a hand finds its way rubbing gently up and down your lower back, while the other slowly snakes itself under your legs.

“Oh, I’ll make it come true.” 

You squeal when he sits up and scoops you up in one swift motion, and you throw your head back in quiet laughter as he walks the two of you to your bedroom. 

“Haji, you know, it's your birthday. I should be the one carrying you.”

He snorts, and shakes his head. “ It’s my birthday, right? I get to do what I want.” 

KOSHI SUGAWARA: JUNE 14TH

Sugawara was dejected when he realized he had to work on his birthday.

As if the universe was taunting him, this year it fell right on a Friday, just one day off from the weekend. 

If he were honest, however, it wasn’t too much of a bother. He mentally groaned about it the evening before and morning of, but all in all, his birthday was a fleeting thought in his mind. Work and everyday busyness replaced the thought with lesson plans and mental preparedness to handle a classroom of young children after an exhausting week. 

He hoped, at the very least, however, that you would recognize the oddness of the day, do a little something to acknowledge it. Maybe a small cake or a nice breakfast. Maybe a little present. Hell, just a small, intimate murmur of a happy birthday accompanied with a sweet kiss would elevate his heart. Yet every time he looked on at you, you were preoccupied with preparing yourself for work, just as Suga was. No fancy breakfast was prepared, no gift sat on the table by the door, and the only kiss he was able to snag was a hurried one on the cheek as you wished him a good day, and headed out the door and into your car. 

So Suga’s birthday was not off to a great start. 

But again, it’s only a birthday. He almost feels a little dumb, getting all worked up over it, especially as an adult. So he makes the most out of the day as he always does with his kids and their lively attitudes, plus the wind down time and lack of work reserved for Friday’s brightens his special day from the dejected morning he experienced earlier.

Little did your boyfriend know of the plans you had in store for him.

As humble as Sugawara attempted to be about his birthday, you knew that he liked having it acknowledged. He was appreciative of any and all kind birthday gestures, from simple greetings to thoughtful presents. And you wanted your present for him to be thoughtful. Memorable. Surprising, exciting, and able to convey the sheer amount of affection you hold for him, though you doubted that any gesture could entirely convey such a thing. But your mission this year was to sure try.

You had taken the day off to get everything under way. Pick up a nice cake you ordered a few days before, with Suga’s favorite flavor of icing and batter, along with a neat and heartfelt Happy Birthday written on top in cursive. 

Once the cake was tucked away in your fridge, your next stop was a party store. Perhaps you may have overdone it with the decorations, you had thought to yourself when you examined your two (full) shopping bags as you walked back to your car, but there was just so much to choose from, and you were sure Suga would like it all! Banners, balloons of impressive and wacky sizes and shapes, streamers, confetti, party poppers; you couldn’t pass up a single thing, not when you imagined his enthusiasm over each one. 

Your final stop was for restocking on foods and drinks. Besides the cake, you bought a couple of bottles of fancy alcohol (the one’s he’ll often eye and make fun of how posh they sound), a couple of his favorite snacks and beverages, and the like. 

By the time Suga arrived home from work, he’s exhausted, yet somehow invigorated by the idea of seeing you. He lets himself into the house with his key, letting out a tired I’m home, heart picking up when he spots your shoes neatly organized in the genkan, and joins his own beside them as he pads further into your home toward an alluring smell. 

The light is low in your living room. It’s enveloped in a yellow glow compared to the blinding bright white that startles him awake and strains his tired eyes in the morning. The first thing that comes into his line of sight, besides you, already in comfortable clothing with your back turned and managing something on the table in front of you, is a neat and beautiful cake on the coffee table in front of your couch. 

Your living room is full of more animated color than usual; batches of balloons occupy the corners and a few are scattered, some hovering aimlessly, on your floor. A Happy Birthday banner hangs from above the threshold into the room. Suga, once the initial shock and surprise wore off and was able to fully comprehend that it was all for him, felt that he may burst into tears. 

You hurriedly turned around upon sensing a new presence in the living room, and gasped when it was none other than your boyfriend, briefcase in hand, and staring dumbfounded at you and the sight of your decorated living room.

“Ko! I didn’t expect you to be home this soon!”

“Traffic was sparse.” He managed to get out past the lump in throat, but once he realized how stupid he appeared, he shook his head in an attempt to feign nonchalance. “So! What is, uh…what’s all this?” 

Your brows shot up, and you gave him an exasperated smile before walking over to him. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” you said slyly, wrapping your arms around his neck, with Suga immediately reciprocating with a hand to your back. “I was still setting up some stuff because I was under the impression that I still had some time before you came home.”

“Oh, so you wanted me to get stuck in traffic, is that it?” He teases in a faux annoyed tone, but it’s quickly betrayed by the smile that immediately stretches back over his face. 

“In this instance, yes!” You laughed, grinning yourself when he began to pepper kisses all over your neck and face, curling his arm around your waist to keep you secure against him. You laughed breathlessly through the assault, attempting to push away the ticklish sensation. But Suga’s energy had just been replenished fully, and his heart elevated the highest it ever could. 

“It’s perfect, all of it. Thank you.” he halts his assault to mutter against your skin through his lovesick smile, and it brings a grin to your own lips as you bring him in for one final kiss on his lips, one he immediately attempts to deepen. 

“Okay, okay,” you laugh as you pull away when he whines and chases after your lips. “Now that you’re here, let’s sing!”

He laughs too, letting you drag him further into your living room, abandoning his briefcase by the wall as he sat himself down on your couch, and you came over with the lighter you were previously fiddling with to light the candles on the small cake. 

All he could think about as you sang to him enthusiastically was how giddy he felt, and how lucky he was that he was spending his birthday in such a manner with you. And when he blew out his candles, the wish at the forefront of his mind was to spend many more birthdays with you in this manner

(and maybe a new car). 

Even as you shooed him into the bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes as you cut yourselves slices to enjoy by the TV, and afterward retreated to bed, he muttered, “I’m still mad that you tricked me, by the way.” as the two of you closed your eyes.

Which earned him a swat to the chest. 

SHOYO HINATA: JUNE 21ST

Shoyo absolutely cannot deny the fact that he’s had a great birthday since the moment the sun rose in the sky.

His special day began with an influx of texts and calls from family and friends to wish him a happy birthday, and use the opportunity to catch up with him. Nearly every moment of his morning was taken up by a different phone call that he took as he prepared himself for the training he had that day. When he arrived at the training center, his team immediately pounced on him, greeting him with enthusiastic cheers and a round of singing. 

And while he can almost say his birthday was perfect, with all the texts and calls he received and the thoughtful birthday treatment, his one and only regret was the fact that you weren’t there to celebrate with him.

His birthday this year happened to coincide with travel for upcoming tournaments, which unfortunately meant that you wouldn’t be celebrating alongside him in person. But just because you weren’t there in the flesh to hug him tight and sing loudly in his ear, it didn’t prevent you in the slightest from doing whatever you could virtually to make him feel good on his special day. 

At least, he had hoped it wouldn’t.

He had picked up your call eagerly on the day of his birthday, and grinned from ear to ear as you sang to him loudly and exaggeratedly. When you finished your song and exchanged all your morning pleasantries, to his absolute dejectment, you had informed Shoyo with a guilty tone that you would be unable to call or text for the majority of the day. 

“I’m sorry, Sho, something suddenly came up for work, and I’m going to be swamped. I’ll call you tonight, I promise!”

The disappointment he felt was tremendous, yet he easily covered it up with an understanding nod and reassuring words that he’d stay up to catch your call. It wasn’t like he was really expecting your schedule to be free the entire day so he can call and text whenever. Besides, he was miles away from you; it would be selfish for him to expect that your schedule would be all free for him when his wasn’t. 

So Shoyo made the most out of his birthday without you, and there wasn’t a moment where he wasn’t grinning. Enjoying delicious meals, being on the receiving end of all sorts of enthusiasm,  excitement and birthday traditions from friends, family, colleagues and fans alike; each kind birthday gesture lifted his heart to Cloud 9. 

The day concluded, after practice in the training facility when the sun began to die out in the sky, with Shoyo’s team insisting that they treat him to a celebratory dinner at some nice restaurant with some excellent international cuisine, allowing him to get a small taste of home. And Shoyo’s stomach was starting to churn, and it wasn’t like he was about to pass up a free meal…

The company took cramped spots in a booth inside the restaurant, bringing a few spare chairs to form a full circle around the large, polished wooden table jutting out from the wall. The setting sun meant that there was still some time before the restaurant could anticipate a more busy dining area.

Shoyo was spoiled with trays of meat, bowls of rice, and all sorts of other cuisine that he sampled from the plates of his colleagues. By the time the sun had nearly fully disappeared beneath the horizon, each one of their appetites was satiated, full and content with their meals.

As if Shoyo’s birthday couldn’t get any better so late into the day, it was about to become complete in the most unexpected and perfect way imaginable. Though the team was full, they could spare the appetite for a dessert, the most fitting conclusion for a birthday: because what’s a birthday without a cake? 

Shoyo’s team accompanied him home with eager conversation, yet strange occasional whispers among themselves. Perhaps all the celebration was all a little too much? 

When they arrived in a large group by his front door, Shoyo took notice of poorly hidden sly smiles and eager eyes from the teammates across from him, exchanging them among themselves as he fiddled with his keys. 

He’s the first to step inside the dark room, calling out to nobody in particular an I’m home!, as was routine for him to do. His heart suddenly stops, however, when he hears a voice answer. 

“Welcome back!”

His teammates burst out into chuckles and giggles. “Ah, it looks like our dessert is here!” One of them nodded his head toward the living room. 

When Shoyo makes his way reluctantly further into his apartment, initially confused, his furrowed brows immediately relax when he turns on the overhead light, and he feels as though the breath had been stolen from his lungs and hitched in his throat. 

At first, he thinks that perhaps he’s gotten a little homesick being without you, his special person, on his special day. He’d been thinking of you in intervals at every peak of his day. Surely now his exhaustion is crashing down on him, making him see things?

But your eager grin and short laughter as you took in his shocked expression tells him otherwise. You were here, in the flesh, standing right before him--

He all too suddenly finds himself squeezing you tight in his arms, and you immediately reciprocate with one hand coming around his neck, collective aww’s and teasing ew’s going round at the affectionate sight.

“Hold on there, Shoyo, the cake!” 

He quickly steps away when he suddenly feels an object collide gently with his side, and he only partially lets you go as he steps back to look at a box you were holding in your other hand. You grinned at him. 

“Surprise!”

He doesn’t dare let go of your hand even when you set the cake down and urge him to take a seat on his couch, taking an electronic candle you had bought on your way to his apartment and placing it at the very center. His entire team begins to sing to him once more as they crowd around him on the couch and around the table, this time with you joining in standing beside him, and his smile feels almost painful with the way it doesn’t falter for a second. 

When the song ends, a round of cheers go around the table, and you remove the candle to place it in a napkin. You turn toward each other, and you place a hand on his shoulder as you lean down to give him a kiss on his temple and mumble a more quiet, personal happy birthday. 

And just as he was about to lean over to capture your lips in an enthusiastic kiss, let thank you after thank you fall from his lips for such a grand surprise, all for him, you grabbed hold of his head, turned it back toward the cake, and shoved his face right into the center of it. 

Gasps and cheers alike went around the table, and the rest of his team laughed at the bold and sudden gesture. He could hear your own soft laughter as his face gradually emerged from the cake, and the shrills and hollers from his teammates grew louder as they took in the sight of the icing and chunks of cake sticking to various sides. They continued to bark out laughter as he wiped the chunks away from his eyes, staring at them on his fingertips before turning toward you, hiding a smile behind your hand as you mouthed over it an I'm sorry.

Shoyo rose silently halfway from his seat, leaned over toward you, and before anyone could properly call on what he was about to do, smeared the cake on his hands onto your own face, and a new wave of audible surprise and amusement went around the table.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

“I hear you, Shoyo,” one of his teammates hovered over his seat as he took a large chunk of the cake with his bare hands, and immediately smeared it onto his colleague beside him. “You look better like this, anyway.”

The table erupted into chaos, with the remainder of the unassualted teammates running away from the assault. 

“Quick, scatter, before they get us too!” 

“Oh, you aren’t escaping that easily!” 

Running, breathless laughter, and shrills of alarm rang out in a chaotic symphony throughout the apartment, but amidst the chaos, only you and Shoyo remained by the couch side by side, hunched over laughing at each other’s ruined faces. Despite the ruined cake, the madness in his home, and the icing running down your faces, Shoyo’s heart thrums with love and happiness, and he steps forward to cup your cool cheeks and halt your giggles by capturing your lips in a deep and (literally) sweet kiss. 

Now, perhaps, Shoyo could say his birthday was perfect.

return to masterlist.

[thealieninhiding]

The Katie McGrath Archives (WIP)

A repository of my ongoing digital archeology & archival work please contact me if you have anything to contribute and buy me a coffee if you value my content

Updates

(last updated 2024-07-03)

2024-07-03

Scans:

2014-02-07 London Times - Dracula sets

Audio:

(Un)likeminded 2x02 How to Survive The Apocalypse

2024-05-24

Video:

2017 Katie McGrath interview [CW|KMcGsource]

2017 Supergirl Season 3 Sweet dreams (are made of this) Music Video

2017 CW SDCC Promo Supergirl and Arrow

2019-01-01 The CW Promo Open To All

2021-04-25 Supergirl Season 6 Katie McGrath Lena Luthor

2021-09-15 Supergirl Season 6 Katie McGrath Reflecting on Supergirl

2024-05-22

Audio:

Interview - 2009-07-17 Katie McGrath Mr Media interview

Interview - 2009-10-15 Geek Syndicate Merlin BTS special

Video:

BTS - 2008-10-08 Blue Peter Merlin BTS

Events - 2009 TV Choice Awards Digital Spy interview

Events - Getty Videos of 2009 TV Choice Awards, 2010 Merlin Series 3 launch, 2011 W.E. premiere, 2017 King Arthur Premiere

2024-05-17

Archived interviews

2008-12-07 Tribune Magazine - What Katie Did

2011-10-14 What's on TV - Merlin's Katie McGrath- 'Bad girls have more fun!'

2012-12-03 Fanhattan Blog - Colin Morgan, Katie McGrath and Bradley James on Season 5 and The Series Finale

2018-08-01 The TV Junkies - Supergirl SDCC 2018 Interviews- Lena’s Impractical Lab Outfits, the Return of Reporter Kara and a More Grounded Season 4

Audio

HHush samples

Interview - 2009-2011 Sci-fi Talk rewind merlin the series specials episode 1

Interview - 2011? Merlin S4 Sci-fi talk byte katie mcgrath on morgana

Interview - 2013 BBC Radio 1xtra part 1 & part 2

(Un)likeminded 1x02 While You Were Dreaming

Trees a crowd- Irish folklore segment

Magazine scans

2008-09-20 Radio Times

2009-06-08 TV Week (Aus)

2010-09-05 Sunday Express

2010-09-30 Totally Merlin Magazine

2011-12 Total Film

2012-03-14 Sci-Fi Now

2012-10-06 Radio Times

2013-04-06 Irish independent

2013-09-02 Marie-Claire (UK)

2013-12 Instyle

2013-12 Total Film

Video:

Fans - 2012-04-16 Merlin4 [carlospyrrhus]

Fans - 2017-08-30 Supergirl cast together on set [Joyce Law]

Interview - 2009-09-?? Merlin S2 audio interview with Katie McGrath [BJsRealm] part 1

Interview - 2010-09-06 Merlin Series 3 - BBC Radio 1xtra Interview with Angel Coulby & Katie McGrath [BJsrealm]

Interview - 2011-10-14 Merlin S4 Colin Morgan, Eoin Macken Katie McGrath on The Late Late Show

Interview - 2012-07-15 Colin Morgan and Katie McGrath at SDCC 2012 - innerSPACE [merlinnetwork2]

Interview - 2012-07-18 Katie McGrath Talks Merlin At Comic Con 2012 [ThinkHeroTV]

Interview - 2012-10-25 BBC Radio 1 Breakfast - Colin & Katie part 1 & part 2 [BJsRealm]

Interview - 2012-12-03 Merlin S5 Katie McGrath interview international press day [BJsRealm]

Interview - 2012-12-03 Colin, Bradley, Katie phone interview [BJsRealm]

Interview - 2013-11-09 Katie McGrath on BBC One Saturday Kitchen [BJsRealm]

Interview - 2019-07-22 ENTREVISTA SUPERGIRL Elenco fala sobre a nova temporada [Warner Channel Brasil]

Interview - 2019-07-23 Melissa Benoist Teases Directing An Episode Of 'Supergirl' [ET Canada]

Interview - 2020-02-21 ‘Supergirl’ Celebrates 100th Episode [ET Canada]

Panels - 2011-07-28 Merlin Comic Con 2011 Panel [ThinkHeroTV]

[helveticablanc]

From the Archives — 2021 12 29 - 2022 01 04

[stray-tori]

i may have just understood link click on a level i thought was impossible (i had a small epiphany that was probably obvious to everyone but me)

So. for context; sth that confused me for a while, is that the CXS deaths always happen in S1 fits, which are Gone after LG gets stabbed - so I thought that LG must have already succeeded delaying CXS' death, but then his reaction to Emma in 1x11 wouldn't make any sense (i.e. if he's already succeeded at delaying CXS' death by over a month why would he assume that Emma is "saved" in a matter of seconds?)

Additionally, the paper cutout style in 2x1 really seemed to hint a sort of "overwriting"? Which I thought meant it was originally CXS dying while LG was facing off against someone (that being vein, with yingdu knowledge).

BUT. "it seems that everything is changing" (2x1) !!! I've been looking at that line wrong.

SO new theory - he didn't delay it and he didn't mean that THIS exact moment was when CXS died and THAT is changing, but EVERYTHING is changing from now on.

so this whole plot is new to LG. the stab never happened in the timeline where vein kills CXS. that's why they still have their s1 fits (didn't have to discard them because of the blood) in CXS death scenes, and that's potentially why LG reacts to things in the ways he does starting 1x11. (tho those could just as well be trauma responses. He's very hard to read)

If that is really the case, this implies that 1x11 is potentially the first big divergence we've (and perhaps even LG has) seen (Yx1 with "everything happens the exact same").

I think this implies that when whatever they meddled with in Yingdu doesn't happen, that somehow leads Liu Xiao to kickstart the whole LTX and LTC (twins) thread.

+ anyway here's the 3 dates I grabbed for this thinkening:

22/10/2021 = 1x11, 2x1 - LG gets stabbed

13/09/---- = 2x12, Yx1 - CXS death + dives back

12/04/---- = Yx1, date LG returned to

next rewatch I'm making an excel sheet.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

all Jaehyun imagines can be found here personal favorites are marked with ☆

last updated December 3 , 2024

⋆⭒˚｡⋆fratboy!Jaehyun masterlist⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Pick me posted October 12, 2020

After getting engaged, Johnny and Taeyong keep fighting over who gets to be the best man

[5:42 pm] posted July 25, 2021

Jaehyun is uncharacteristically clingy  

☆ [9:33 am] posted December 18, 2021

(suggestive) Jaehyun can’t control himself this early in the morning after a simple kiss

[6:31 pm]

BestFriend!Jaehyun finally gives you your first bouquet of flowers ever

☆ [6:19 pm] posted December 17, 2022

Dad!Jaehyun talks to pregnant!reader’s belly 

☆ [7:41 am] posted January 29, 2023

Saturdays are supposed to be sleeping in but Dad!Jaehyun has other plans

☆[8:34pm] posted July 2, 2023

Brother’s Best Friend!Jaehyun comes to pick you up after a bad date and can’t help flirting and flustering you

[9:13 pm] posted September 2, 2023

Jaehyun can get a little jealous when a bartender is talking to you for too long

[10:13 pm] posted October 28, 2023

supposed situationship!Jaehyun hates that you’re watching tiktok edits of Pookie

[8:57 pm] posted November 5, 2023

You told Jaehyun you were going out for Halloween, but you didn’t tell him how sexy your costume was

[9:12 am] posted January 6, 2024 

Jaehyun makes the mistake of hanging out with a girl he knew from school, the only mistake being he didn’t tell you who… and he never came home

[8:59 pm] posted January 20, 2024

Jaehyun is just a little shocked to see what his contact name is in your phone

[11:04 pm] posted February 17, 2024

idol!reader and idol!Jaehyun get their relationship exposed at a Bruno Mars concert

[8:46 pm] posted February 24, 2024

you’ve never really dated anyone before so it really only makes sense that since he gets you flowers, you get him some in return right?

your biggest fan posted February 25, 2024

{western popstar!reader x idol!reader} in which the world discovers your relationship with Jaehyun and surprisingly… they love it

[3:21 pm] posted March 3, 2024

in relationships you have to make sacrifices, and for Jaehyun that means eating food he doesn’t really like since you love it

☆[12:11 pm] posted April 21, 2024

dad!Jaehyun isn’t going to say he’s jealous of his daughter and Uncle Johnny- but you can say it

[9:22 pm] posted May 25, 2024

AcademicRival!Jaehyun is the last person you’d expect to help you out after you get in a fight {enemies2lovers, college!au}

[10:14 am] posted May 26, 2024

if you weren’t 2 weeks overdue, Jaehyun being doting would be really sweet- but you are 2 weeks overdue and it’s not sweet

[12:07 pm] posted June 8, 2024

dad!Jaehyun doesn't have your talent of getting his baby girl to eat, or your common sense of keeping the food out of her grasp

[4:59 pm] posted June 22, 2024

Jaehyun watched the Bridgerton carriage scene with you and gets hooked on the show

☆[3:22 pm] posted July 6, 2024

Jaehyun is completely enamored by your pregnancy glow

[4:51 pm] posted July 13, 2024

you and dad!Jaehyun take your kids to the water park and the lazy river works some magic

showering Jaehyun's dimples with love posted August 15, 2024

[12:41 pm] posted August 16, 2024

pregnancy is hard enough as is, but now you're on bed rest? Thank God for Jaehyun (cw: pregnancy complications)

[3:11 pm] posted August 17, 2024

you and Jaehyun were supposed to be baby shopping but Smiskis and Sonny Angels caught your eye instead

just makes sense posted August 22, 2024

your and Jaehyun’s fans just really can’t believe that they two of you are just best friends

self-on kode with Jaehyun posted September 27, 2024

You and Jaehyun usually have a pretty private relationship, thanks to Self-On Kode your fans can learn more (f!reader, idol!reader)

[1:17 pm] posted September 29, 2024

dad!Jaehyun helps you when you're overwhelmed with a colicky baby

Jaehyun doing acts of service! posted October 3, 2024

dad!Jaehyun and shopping with the kids! posted October 11, 2024

[3:17 pm] posted October 12, 2024

dad!Jaehyun gets ambushed by you and his daughters for a makeover

dad!Jaehyun lets you and the kids play with his hair! posted November 1, 2024

[6:58 pm] posted November 4, 2024

You're feeling sad about Jaehyun's enlistment so he comforts you

[descendantsramblings]

Descendants Rambling Masterlist

♡Welcome to my page/Master list♡

My Requests are always open

I'm willing to write readers with she/her, he/him, or they/them pronouns

I'm willing to write 1-2 love interests

I only write for villains/vks unless it's a VK x reader x Ak situation (ex: mal x reader x ben, Jane x reader x Carlos)

I'll make suggestive comments/make out sessions but I don't write smut, these characters are all underage regardless of their actor's age

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

Key:

♡ personal favorite

✎ least favorite (i might eventually rewrite)

⋆ head canons

♤ AU

𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻

Mal Bertha

Game Planner (He/him) After finding out how much she misses Halloween on the Isle, Mal's boyfriend does everything he can to bring her a slice of home. - Written 10/2021

Evie

Candy Apple (She/her) Evie's family history leads to her trying to back out of a chemistry project. - Written 09/2021

Carlos de Vil

Saved ♤✎ (She/her) Going back to the Isle leads to the Hook!Reader being kidnapped by her own brother, leavig Carlos to save her. - Written 10/2017

Carlos Having a Crush on You ⋆(she/her) Ben's Twin!Reader x Carlos -Written 12/2017

I've Got You✎ (She/her) Carlos has a nightmare about his mother. (Trigger Warning!!)- Written 07/2018

PB&J (They/Them) Finding out their boyfriend hates their favorite holiday leads the reader to graveling to give him a good Halloween. - Written 09/2021

I Loved You First ♡ (They/Them) Inspired by "Loved You First" By One Direction. Carlos didn't expect them to wait for him to come back to the Isle, but that doesn't make it easier to see them with someone else. (minor Gil x reader) - Written 10/2021

Jay

Dating Jay ⋆ (no pronouns used but the reader wears leggings) Jay x Cheerleader!Reader - Written 10/2018

Spidermonkey (she/her) Gothel!Reader has Jay surprise her when he sneaks through her window. Loosely inspired by twilight- Written 04/2020

Stuffed Spook (They/Them) Jay's partner gets excited by a stuffed bat and he's determined to win it. -Written 09/2021

𝓢𝓮𝓪 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮

Uma

Letters to the Sea♤♡ (They/Them) Soulmate AU: everything you write on your skin appears on your soulmate's skin too. Uma and the Reader write letters until they can meet. - Written 07/2021

Baking (They/them) Uma watches her partner try to prepare for the Halloween escape room. Evie's Sibling!Reader - Written 10/2021

Gil

Hook's Daughter ⋆ (She/her) Harry's younger sister is Gil's closest friend (minor Gil x Jay) - Written 07/2021

Orchard (They/Them) Gil's partner takes him apple picking during his first September in Auradon - Written 09/2021

Harry Hook

Jafar's Child ⋆ (They/them) A flirty joke leads to Harry dating Jay's sibling - Written 07/2021

Fever ♡ (She/her) Harry and Captain take care of his sick girlfriend (requested) - Written 06/2021

Haunted Castle (He/him) Harry drags his scaredy-cat boyfriend to a haunted castle - Written 09/2021

Making a Splash (she/her) One wrong move leads to two people panicking and one person hurt on the docks. Jay's Sister!Reader. (Requested) - Written 12/2021

Flirting Pirate (She/her) She only hangs around the fish and chips shop to watch after he brother, it would be easier if she didn't have to deal with the flirty first mate. Gil's Sister!Reader (Requested) - Written 02/2022

Sealed With a Kiss ♡ (She/her) Ben's twin gets kidnapped with him by a pirate who's had a crush on her his whole life. Ben's Twin!Reader (Requested) - Written 04/2022

𝓓:𝓡𝓸𝓡 𝓥𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼

Morgie le Fay

Sunday Night ♡ (She/her) After his friends let him down, Morgie runs to his girlfriend for comfort. - Written 08/2024

In Another Life (he/him) When Rapunzel's son gets thrown back in time he finds himself to be the object of two villains' affection. Minor James Hook x Reader (Requested)- Written 08/2024

I Would Be Yours (he/him) He never thought the lips he spent years thinking about would appear to him again 3 years later. Sequels to “In Another Life” (Requested)-Written 09/2024

True to Heart (he/him) Without the pressure of parents and villains, how hard is it to be true to heart? Especially when you’re holding a book that tells you your truth. (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Tree Bark (they/them) Everyone deserves their time alone, sometimes though that well deserved time alone has to be interrupted by the sound of animal noises coming from a tree. (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Crushing (they/them) Morgie had never been good at hiding when he had a crush on someone, and they don’t mind playing the long game with his affections (requested) - Written 08/2024

Win You Over (they/them) Magical history had always been their favorite class, but this assigned partner situation had the ability to dampen that. (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Mindless Touch (she/her) Morgie hasn’t meant to upset her, he only wanted to have his hands on what was his. (TRIGGER WARNING: body image issues) (requested)-Written 08/2024

The Dominant Type ⋆(no pronouns used/GN reader) Hook x reader x Morgie head canons with a dominant leaning reader (requested) - Written 08/2024

Warm Greens (she/her) Red discovers she has a secret aunt when she sees her face next to the people who ruined her mother’s life. (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Cool Reds (she/her) She would do anything to keep him, wouldn’t she? Prequel to “Warm Greens” (Requested) -Written 10/2024

One Sided (he/him) If he has to listen to Morgie talk about Uliana one more time, he’s going to be sick (requested) -Written 09/2024

Love Letters (he/him) Morgie was growing far too attached to those little silver envelopes (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Babydoll ⋆(no pronouns used/GN reader) Hook x reader x Morgie head canons with a submissive leaning reader (Requested) -Written 09/2024

Scales (They/them) Morgie could think of 100 things he would rather do than parent a dragon with the sweetheart of Merlin Academy (requested)-Written 09/2024

Doesn't Matter (he/him) Morgana le Fay is coming to Merlin Academy's family day, and she has no idea that her son's boyfriend is a prince (Requested) - Written 09/2024

Second Place (he/him) Just once he wants to feel like his boyfriend’s first choice (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Emerald Comfort (he/him) Morgie might just be dating the sleepiest boy to ever live -Written 09/2024

Snake Eyes (she/her) Lions, tiger, and bears; just anything but snakes (Requested) - Written 10/2024

Flash Photography (She/her) Who would have thought that they would make such a good pair? (Requested) -Written 10/2024

James Hook

Call of the Sirens (She/her) As Hook sells his ship to Uma, he and his wife recall a time that she had to save him back in their prime. (Requested)- Written 08/2024

Side Effects (she/her) If Hook knew the side effects that came with those Malibu sprites, would he take them? (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Red Dress (she/her) He hadn’t meant to upset her when he picked the dress out, now Hook was set on making her see how good she looked in it. (TRIGGER WARNING: Body Image issues) (Requested) - Written 08/2024

The Dominant Type ⋆(no pronouns used/GN reader) Hook x reader x Morgie head canons with a dominant leaning reader (requested) - Written 08/2024

Eyes on Me (They/Them) The fairy wasn’t thinking about the pirates past when they excitedly called for him. They definitely didn’t mean to upset him. (TRIGGER WARNING; animal attacks and panic attacks) (Requested)- Written 08/2024

Wake Up Slow ♡ (she/her) Everyone needs a place to fully relax, and he found his in a heavy duvet and needy hands (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Babydoll ⋆(no pronouns used/GN reader) Hook x reader x Morgie head canons with a submissive leaning reader (Requested) -Written 09/2024

Bloody Charming (they/them) Hook’s flirting leads to an argument being blown way out of proportion (TRIGGER WARNING: just, yeah. I got a little too silly) (Requested)- Written 09/2024

Studious ♡ (they/them) Hook might not mind tutoring, as long as it’s for them. (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Hades

Body Better (he/him) Sometimes the weight of life can lead to your insecurities coming out in peculiar ways. (TRIGGER WARNING: Body image issues) (Requested)- Written 08/2024

Let me See (she/her) Her need to be independent keeps getting her hurt, and she really did it this time. (Requested) - Written 08/2024

Play With Fire (they/them) their mother warned them not to play with fire, now look at them getting burned (requested) -Written 09/2024

Hitting Every Mark (she/her) Turns out she had nothing to worry about, her fans love him (requested)- Written 10/2024

Uliana

Family Lines (she/her) After seeing Bridget's sister at Family Day, Uliana will do anything to earn the girl's affection. Even being nice to her ray of sunshine sister. (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Rivalry (She/her) It was only a matter of time until the two groupd of VKs either came together or tore themselves to shreds. (Requested) -Written 08/2024

Double the Trouble (she/her) Uliana might be able to date Hook’s sister, but that doesn’t mean she’s able to make Hook like the whole ordeal. (Requested) -Written 08/2024

Breathe (they/them) Sometimes the biggest villain is not knowing how people see you. (TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety attack) (Requested)-Written 09/2024

Strongest Tides (she/her) When the leader of their crew is emotionally taken out of commission, it’s up to her girlfriend to pick up the pieces (requested)-09/2024

Maleficent

Stylized (she/her) Artistry is the highest form of flattery and Maleficent has found herself as a princess’ muse. (Requested)-Written 08/2024

Play (she/her) watching your girlfriend study can get just so boring (requested) - Written 09/2024

𝓝𝓸 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Descendants, Not Made for Kids ⋆ Changes I'd make if I made the Descendants movies as a series for teens or adults. - Written 06/2021

Style Headcanons ⋆ How I'd restyle the main characters from the OG Descendants movies - Writen 06/2021

[ridiculous-hibiscus]

Miguelito wishes all of you a happy Thanksgiving. Now let him get back to making pumpkin pie.

Portal img cred: screen-shot-2021-12-04-at-8-20-26-pm-1638671046284_4fd1.1080.jpg (1080×448)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The US Copyright Office frees the McFlurry

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I have spent a quarter century obsessed with the weirdest corner of the weirdest section of the worst internet law on the US statute books: Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, the 1998 law that makes it a felony to help someone change how their own computer works so it serves them, rather than a distant corporation.

Under DMCA 1201, giving someone a tool to "bypass an access control for a copyrighted work" is a felony punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine – for a first offense. This law can refer to access controls for traditional copyrighted works, like movies. Under DMCA 1201, if you help someone with photosensitive epilepsy add a plug-in to the Netflix player in their browser that blocks strobing pictures that can trigger seizures, you're a felon:

https://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/public-html-media/2017Jul/0005.html

But software is a copyrighted work, and everything from printer cartridges to car-engine parts have software in them. If the manufacturer puts an "access control" on that software, they can send their customers (and competitors) to prison for passing around tools to help them fix their cars or use third-party ink.

Now, even though the DMCA is a copyright law (that's what the "C" in DMCA stands for, after all); and even though blocking video strobes, using third party ink, and fixing your car are not copyright violations, the DMCA can still send you to prison, for a long-ass time for doing these things, provided the manufacturer designs their product so that using it the way that suits you best involves getting around an "access control."

As you might expect, this is quite a tempting proposition for any manufacturer hoping to enshittify their products, because they know you can't legally disenshittify them. These access controls have metastasized into every kind of device imaginable.

Garage-door openers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Refrigerators:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#filtergate

Dishwashers:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/03/cassette-rewinder/#disher-bob

Treadmills:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/22/vapescreen/#jane-get-me-off-this-crazy-thing

Tractors:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

Cars:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

Printers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/07/inky-wretches/#epson-salty

And even printer paper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#dymo-550

DMCA 1201 is the brainchild of Bruce Lehmann, Bill Clinton's Copyright Czar, who was repeatedly warned that cancerous proliferation this was the foreseeable, inevitable outcome of his pet policy. As a sop to his critics, Lehman added a largely ornamental safety valve to his law, ordering the US Copyright Office to invite submissions every three years petitioning for "use exemptions" to the blanket ban on circumventing access-controls.

I call this "ornamental" because if the Copyright Office thinks that, say, it should be legal for you to bypass an access control to use third-party ink in your printer, or a third-party app store in your phone, all they can do under DMCA 1201 is grant you the right to use a circumvention tool. But they can't give you the right to acquire that tool.

I know that sounds confusing, but that's only because it's very, very stupid. How stupid? Well, in 2001, the US Trade Representative arm-twisted the EU into adopting its own version of this law (Article 6 of the EUCD), and in 2003, Norway added the law to its lawbooks. On the eve of that addition, I traveled to Oslo to debate the minister involved:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/28/clintons-ghost/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

The minister praised his law, explaining that it gave blind people the right to bypass access controls on ebooks so that they could feed them to screen readers, Braille printers, and other assistive tools. OK, I said, but how do they get the software that jailbreaks their ebooks so they can make use of this exemption? Am I allowed to give them that tool?

No, the minister said, you're not allowed to do that, that would be a crime.

Is the Norwegian government allowed to give them that tool? No. How about a blind rights advocacy group? No, not them either. A university computer science department? Nope. A commercial vendor? Certainly not.

No, the minister explained, under his law, a blind person would be expected to personally reverse engineer a program like Adobe E-Reader, in hopes of discovering a defect that they could exploit by writing a program to extract the ebook text.

Oh, I said. But if a blind person did manage to do this, could they supply that tool to other blind people?

Well, no, the minister said. Each and every blind person must personally – without any help from anyone else – figure out how to reverse-engineer the ebook program, and then individually author their own alternative reader program that worked with the text of their ebooks.

That is what is meant by a use exemption without a tools exemption. It's useless. A sick joke, even.

The US Copyright Office has been valiantly holding exemptions proceedings every three years since the start of this century, and they've granted many sensible exemptions, including ones to benefit people with disabilities, or to let you jailbreak your phone, or let media professors extract video clips from DVDs, and so on. Tens of thousands of person-hours have been flushed into this pointless exercise, generating a long list of things you are now technically allowed to do, but only if you are a reverse-engineering specialist type of computer programmer who can manage the process from beginning to end in total isolation and secrecy.

But there is one kind of use exception the Copyright Office can grant that is potentially game-changing: an exemption for decoding diagnostic codes.

You see, DMCA 1201 has been a critical weapon for the corporate anti-repair movement. By scrambling error codes in cars, tractors, appliances, insulin pumps, phones and other devices, manufacturers can wage war on independent repair, depriving third-party technicians of the diagnostic information they need to figure out how to fix your stuff and keep it going.

This is bad enough in normal times, but during the acute phase of the covid pandemic, hospitals found themselves unable to maintain their ventilators because of access controls. Nearly all ventilators come from a single med-tech monopolist, Medtronic, which charges hospitals hundreds of dollars to dispatch their own repair technicians to fix its products. But when covid ended nearly all travel, Medtronic could no longer provide on-site calls. Thankfully, an anonymous hacker started building homemade (illegal) circumvention devices to let hospital technicians fix the ventilators themselves, improvising housings for them from old clock radios, guitar pedals and whatever else was to hand, then mailing them anonymously to hospitals:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#medtronic-again

Once a manufacturer monopolizes repair in this way, they can force you to use their official service depots, charging you as much as they'd like; requiring you to use their official, expensive replacement parts; and dictating when your gadget is "too broken to fix," forcing you to buy a new one. That's bad enough when we're talking about refusing to fix a phone so you buy a new one – but imagine having a spinal injury and relying on a $100,000 exoskeleton to get from place to place and prevent muscle wasting, clots, and other immobility-related conditions, only to have the manufacturer decide that the gadget is too old to fix and refusing to give you the technical assistance to replace a watch battery so that you can get around again:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/9/26/24255074/former-jockey-michael-straight-exoskeleton-repair-battery

When the US Copyright Office grants a use exemption for extracting diagnostic codes from a busted device, they empower repair advocates to put that gadget up on a workbench and torture it into giving up those codes. The codes can then be integrated into an unofficial diagnostic tool, one that can make sense of the scrambled, obfuscated error codes that a device sends when it breaks – without having to unscramble them. In other words, only the company that makes the diagnostic tool has to bypass an access control, but the people who use that tool later do not violate DMCA 1201.

This is all relevant this month because the US Copyright Office just released the latest batch of 1201 exemptions, and among them is the right to circumvent access controls "allowing for repair of retail-level food preparation equipment":

https://publicknowledge.org/public-knowledge-ifixit-free-the-mcflurry-win-copyright-office-dmca-exemption-for-ice-cream-machines/

While this covers all kinds of food prep gear, the exemption request – filed by Public Knowledge and Ifixit – was inspired by the bizarre war over the tragically fragile McFlurry machine. These machines – which extrude soft-serve frozen desserts – are notoriously failure-prone, with 5-16% of them broken at any given time. Taylor, the giant kitchen tech company that makes the machines, charges franchisees a fortune to repair them, producing a steady stream of profits for the company.

This sleazy business prompted some ice-cream hackers to found a startup called Kytch, a high-powered automation and diagnostic tool that was hugely popular with McDonald's franchisees (the gadget was partially designed by the legendary hardware hacker Andrew "bunnie" Huang!).

In response, Taylor played dirty, making a less-capable clone of the Kytch, trying to buy Kytch out, and teaming up with McDonald's corporate to bombard franchisees with legal scare-stories about the dangers of using a Kytch to keep their soft-serve flowing, thanks to DMCA 1201:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/20/euthanize-rentier-enablers/#cold-war

Kytch isn't the only beneficiary of the new exemption: all kinds of industrial kitchen equipment is covered. In upholding the Right to Repair, the Copyright Office overruled objections of some of its closest historical allies, the Entertainment Software Association, Motion Picture Association, and Recording Industry Association of America, who all sided with Taylor and McDonald's and opposed the exemption:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/10/us-copyright-office-frees-the-mcflurry-allowing-repair-of-ice-cream-machines/

This is literally the only useful kind of DMCA 1201 exemption the Copyright Office can grant, and the fact that they granted it (along with a similar exemption for medical devices) is a welcome bright spot. But make no mistake, the fact that we finally found a narrow way in which DMCA 1201 can be made slightly less stupid does not redeem this outrageous law. It should still be repealed and condemned to the scrapheap of history.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/28/mcbroken/#my-milkshake-brings-all-the-lawyers-to-the-yard

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[calderacitylovers]

Zutara SlowBurn FanFiction: Personal Favs, part I

·        I AM STILL HERE by owedbetter Published: 2017-10-09 | 77K words | 7 Chapters

After the Last Agni Kai K heals Z with the help of bloodbending. Very sweet.

 ·        THE SUMMIT by AJLenoire

Chronicles post-war years, as Gaang and other characters gather for annual summits to keep peace and build relationships between the Four Nations. Katara yearns for a bigger purpose than the Avatar’s companion and slowly grows into a shrewd diplomat. Very sweet slow burn ZK story. Has mature scenes.

 ·        CLOTHE ME IN SEASONS, DRESS ME IN SNOW by sadladybug Published: 2015-01-05 | 62K words | 7 Chapters

Follows old Zuko as he reflects on his life and what would have been if he kept Katara closer. Absolutely beautiful, but also a devastatingly heart-breaking story about loss and pain.

 ·        SILENT DECLARATIONS by Megara Pike (Megara_Pike) Published: 2021-01-20 | 2,6K words

A short story based on animation by Hayley Wong. Z finds K asleep in her study and carries her to bed. Very sweet, gentle story.

 ·        COVERED IN YOU by evergreenonthehorizon Published: 2021-04-02 | 55K words | 14 Chapters

Eight years after the war Z convinces K to take on a role of a Southern Water Tribe ambassador in the Caldera city. Both are completely clueless about each other’s feelings. Features political talks, big gestures, and a ball. Very cute, sweet slow-burn story. Has mature scenes.

 ·        TEN STRIDES IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION by evergreenonthehorizon Published: 2021-04-03 | 29K Words | 12 Chapters

A collection of short stories filling in the gaps between some of the events of ATLAS3 and up to the Last Agni Kai. Features accidental cuddling, embracing in the rain, sharing a bed for warmth, post-Ember Island Theater discussions, being discovered, waiting to be kissed, Suki & Katara being good friends, battle plans, Zuko & Sokka getting drunk, slow burn & angst. Very sweet.

 ·        THE SWAY OF THE SUN by TheBlackBriarSparrow Published: Published: 2019-10-14 | 102K Words | 27 Chapters

Two years post-war Gaang reunites in Caldera city for a secret party in honor of the overworked Fire Lord’s birthday. Rebels attack the palace setting a thrilling consequence of events in motion. Adventures, investigations, and fights ensue. Z & K work together and enlist old friends to help find missing people. Beautiful slow-burn story with an exciting plot.

·        A WARM EMBRACE by ewinkie Published: 2020-10-06 | 19K Words | 7 Chapters

An ATLAS3 rewrite from Southern Riders to the Last Agni Kai. Katara and Zuko have to hide in a cave following their encounter with Yon Rha. Comforting turns to cuddling, which turns to waking up on Appa's tail in each other's arms. Katara is shocked at how comfortable she is. Zuko is shocked that Katara doesn't hate him for it. Features sharing a bed, being discovered, slowburn, and lots of teenage silliness.

 ·        FOLLOWING BLUE by Boogum Published: 2018-11-07 | 39K Words | 10 Chapters

ATLA S2 rewrite. After Katara falls from Appa’s saddle during a pursuit, the Blue Spirit becomes her reluctant companion and helps her reunite with her friends. Ba Sing Se scenes are completely rewritten, and Z ends up joining the Gaang much earlier. Thrilling beginning, sweet middle, average ending.

 ·        ANOTHER WORD FOR ALCHEMY by FanPanda13 Published: 2014-08-19 | 108K words | 24 Chapters

Five years post-war Aang summons old friends for a summit and invites them on a trip to investigate mysterious locations where he experiences loss of bending. Features Gaang setting Z & K up, travelling on Appa like in the olden days, lots of sparring, royal courting, magnificent navy ships & war ballons. Thrilling story with fun banter between old friends. Slowburn, mature content.

 ·        CONSUME ME WITH FIRE, FLOOD ME WITH DESIRE by Dacamia Published: 2020-08-14 | 86K words | 24 Chapters

Steamy ATLAS2 and ATLA S3 rewrite. Z & K accidentally meetup on their way to Ba Sing Se and decide to travel together. Features aged-up characters, lots of intimate scenes, staying in a beautiful cave, helping villagers, betrayal in Ba Sing Se, reunion, forgiveness, etc. Explicit mature content.

 ·        ROOTS AND WINGS by zukoscomet Published: 2020-08-14 | 250K words | 25 Chapters

A series of short stories of Z & K as they grow closer, confess their love for one another and start a family.

 ·        THOSE WHO FAVOR FIRE by hiwasseelane Published: 2021-05-02 |29K Words | 13 Chapters

An ATLAS3 rewrite. Sweet, teen-appopriate.

Here’s a link to Part II of my personal favs.

Here’s a link to Wholesome Zutara Short Stories.

[staydandy]

The Lost Tomb 3: Ultimate Note (2020) - 终极笔记 - Whump List

List by StayDandy Synopsis : Wu Xie and Wang Pan Zi delve into a web of mysteries tied to his uncle’s past, The Mystic Nine's expedition to Parcel Island, and the disappearance of his friend Zhang Qi Ling. As Wu Xie uncovers dangerous secrets and faces devastating challenges, his journey leads him to unexpected alliances, ancient conspiracies, and a perilous tomb raid in search of the truth. With Zhang Qi Ling’s lost memories and a critical mistake plunging the group into uncertainty, Wu Xie is left at a crossroads, holding onto a faint hope sparked by an intriguing suggestion. (MDL) AKA : Ultimate Chronicles

Whumpee : Wu Xie played by Joseph Zeng (center) • Zhang Qi Ling "Xiao Ge" played by Xiao Yu Liang (2nd from left) • Wang Pang Zi played by Cheng Fang Xu (far left) • Hei Yan Jing "Hei Ye" played by Liu Yu Ning (2nd from right)

Country : 🇨🇳 China Genres : Action, Adventure, Thriller, Mystery, Bromance

Notes : This is a Full Whump List • Adapted from books 5, 6, and 7 of "The Grave Robbers' Chronicles" (盗墓笔记) by Kennedy Xu • Favorite episode is pink • Suggested watch order of series (not including movies & spin-offs) : – 1. Mystic Nine (2016) – 2. The Lost Tomb (2015) – 3. The Lost Tomb 2: Wrath of the Sea (2019) – 4. The Lost Tomb 2: Explore with the Note (2021) >> 5. The Lost Tomb 3: Ultimate Note (2020) – 6. Adventure Behind the Bronze Door (2024) – 7. Tomb of the Sea (2018) – 8. Reunion: Sound of the Providence (2020) – 9. Reunion: Sound of the Providence 2 (2020)

Related Lists : The Lost Tomb (2015) - Full List • The Lost Tomb 2: Wrath of the Sea (2019) - Full List • The Lost Tomb 2: Explore With the Note (2021) - Full List • Adventure Behind the Bronze Door (2024) - Full List

Episodes on List : 23 Total Episodes : 37

*Spoilers below*

01 : (near end) Wu Xie falls down a few stairs

02 : (near end) Stranded in the dessert, briefly stuck in quicksand.. exhausted, overheated, collapses, passes out

03 : … continued from previous ep. ... Carried

04 : (near end) Trips & rolls down a stone hill

05 : Lost in a dessert, exhausted, overheating, hands shaking; heatstroke, punched … freezing … vertigo.. collapses, passes out

06 : Falls down a cliff, caught (unharmed) … shaking head, dizzy, unsteady, kneels down.. exhausted, dizzy, passes out, infected.. struggling being held down, knocked out with tranquilizer.. carried.. body temp too low, struggling being held down, infection cut off, passes out

07 : Zhang Qi Ling "Xiao Ge" unsteady, Wu Xie unsteady, collapses

08 : Bitten by tons of bugs, which are burned off with hot knife … nightmare

09 : Xiao Ge's shoulder sore … Hei Yan Jing "Hei Ye" unsteady, ear ringing … unsteady, affected by a poisonous gas in the air, stuck sinking in a swamp

10 : Bitten by a snake, collapses … cared for … Wu Xie knocked around by a monster snake

11 : Eyes sore … Hei Ye tied up … Wu Xie temporarily blinded

12 : Rolls down a hill … falls & lands on a rock … carrying a friend, rolls his ankle on a stone … passes out.. infection cut out with hot knife (why'd they have to make it so gross 🤢), biting on a stick to mute his screaming, pain, breathing hard

14 : Finger bleeding, cut on rough iron

16 : Xiao Ge collapsed, traumatized, carried … Wu Xie unsteady … Xiao Ge in and out of consciousness, unresponsive, carried … Wu Xie waking after (not shown) being rescued from the dessert, Xiao Ge still asleep, feverish … unsteady, helped to walk … hospitalized, coma

19 : Wu Xie bit by a spider, Wang Pang Zi bit by a spider, passes out

22 : Wu Xie attacked

23 : Realizes he's been stuck in a hallucination, breaks from the hallucination, is actually still underwater, running out of air … passed out, wakes with a shock … Hei Ye tied up

24 : Xiao Ge's arm cut during a fight … Wu Xie kicked … Xiao Ge exhausted, unsteady, has a cut on his cheek from a fight.. unsteady, supported.. stabbed in the gut, collapses, coughing up blood, carried … (@ 19:00 Wang Pang Zi is a badass who doesn't get near enough credit) … Wu Xie's knuckles bleeding from digging, Xiao Ge passed out.. carried … Pang Zi exhausted & hurt from fighting, passes out … Xiao Ge carried … Pang Zi dragged, Wu Xie collapses … hands wrapped in bandages

25 : Pang Zi & Xiao Ge hospitalised … Pang Zi wound cared for … arm cut.. bit by a spider, passes out

32 : Pang Zi & Xiao Ge in a fight, Pang Zi's arm injured, kicked to the ground, passes out

33 : Wu Xie falls on top of old pottery, injures leg … coughing, rendered mute (temporary) … wounds treated

34 : (at end) In a fight, beat up

35 : … continued from previous ep. ... Fight, bit by a snake, collapses, passes out … Pang Zi's arm cut … Xiao Ge encased in an amber, gasps awake when freed

More Whump Lists for this show: love-me-a-lotta-whump

[kunamaibintangitunamamu]

My WHV Timeline

I got that WHV with my name on it!

This post is going to be super long! Jadi, karena aku termasuk tipe yang suka menceritakan semua hal secara detail dan memang sudah niat juga sih, aku pengen tulis ini sebagai kenang-kenangan karena aku berhasil mendapatkan WHV!

Here’s my timeline, each moment a small but sweet step toward the dream: 12-02-2024: The day I made a quiet but powerful promise to myself—to see my name on that WHV, no matter what. 02-03-2024: Took my visa photos. Just one tiny step, but it felt like a step toward something big. 23-04-2024: Got my SKCK done at Mabes Polri. A little closer, a little more real. 22-05-2024: Took the PTE test, butterflies in my stomach, but my sights set firmly on the goal. 08-10-2024: Prepared my bank reference letter, and then—out of nowhere—the SDUWHV opening was announced! My heart raced; it was really happening. 10-10-2024: Received that precious SDUWHV letter. Holding it felt surreal, like I was holding a piece of my future. 25-10-2024: Lodged my visa application, sending off all my hopes and dreams along with it. 27-10-2024: Completed my Medical Check-Up (MCU), feeling both excitement and calm; the finish line was in sight. 12-11-2024: The day that made everything worth it—Visa granted! I felt pure joy, knowing the adventure of a lifetime was now just around the corner.

Jadi, aku sudah mengincar program WHV ini dari tahun lalu, gara-gara orang-orang di sekitarku tiba-tiba banyak yang berangkat ke Australia. Honestly, back in 2021, aku juga sempat berandai-andai, "Asyik juga ya kalau bisa ke Melbourne," waktu itu mikirnya pengen lanjut kuliah lagi, sih. Plus, one of my bucket list items is to work abroad, dan rasanya negara yang paling potensial buat goal itu adalah Australia. Banyak orang Pontianak juga yang hijrah ke sana, jadi makin kebayang, deh. Impian itu aku pendam, sambil terus cari kesempatan dan peluang, supaya bisa mewujudkan one of my ultimate dreams.

Ternyata, di tahun 2024, aku merasakan dorongan yang kuat untuk mengejar visa ini. Aku mulai mencari tahu semua persyaratannya, dan langkah pertama yang harus diambil adalah mendapatkan surat sakti SDUWHV. Nah, untuk bisa mendapatkan SDUWHV, ternyata ada beberapa persyaratan lagi yang harus dipenuhi. Waktu itu, aku masih berpatokan pada persyaratan tahun 2023, yaitu: foto, KTP, paspor, sertifikat bahasa Inggris, SKCK, ijazah, surat keterangan bank, dan surat keabsahan dokumen. Jadi, pelan-pelan aku mulai melengkapi semua dokumen yang bisa dicicil dulu sebelum pembukaan SDUWHV.

02 Maret 2024 Sore ini, aku pergi ke studio foto untuk ambil pas foto visa. Sempat bingung karena belum pernah foto visa sebelumnya, tapi untungnya studio tersebut sudah paham ketentuannya. Mereka mengarahkan dan membantu pengambilan foto serta pencetakan sesuai kebutuhan. Aku juga sekalian print ekstra untuk bikin SKCK.

28 Maret 2024 Setelah mendaftar antre online lewat aplikasi, pagi ini aku melakukan rekam sidik jari di Polda Kalbar. Aku datang pagi-pagi sekali agar bisa mendapat antrean pertama. Staff di sana dengan cekatan membantu dan sempat bertanya, "Apa tujuannya?" Aku jawab, "Untuk ke Australia, Pak." Mereka sangat mendukung dan turut mendoakan semoga prosesku lancar hingga mendapatkan visanya.

Perekaman sidik jari ini adalah salah satu syarat untuk membuat SKCK. Awalnya, aku pikir masih bisa membuat SKCK dengan tujuan WHV di Polda Kalbar, tapi ternyata sekarang ketentuannya sudah berubah dan harus diurus di Mabes Polri. Sempat bingung juga kalau harus ke Jakarta untuk mengurus SKCK. Beruntungnya, temanku bisa pergi ke Jakarta dan mewakilkan aku untuk membuat SKCK, dan pada 23 April 2024, SKCK-ku akhirnya terbit.

22 Mei 2024 Lanjut, dokumen-dokumen yang mudah sudah berhasil aku kumpulkan. Sekarang tantangan berikutnya adalah lolos tes Bahasa Inggris. Ada beberapa pilihan tes yang bisa diambil, dan dua yang paling populer adalah IELTS dan PTE. Kebetulan di Pontianak tersedia tes PTE, jadi aku memilih PTE saja. Jadwal tesnya juga lebih fleksibel. Sebenarnya, aku sudah mulai persiapan IELTS dari awal tahun, tapi H-2 bulan ini aku mulai intens belajar untuk PTE setiap malam dari YouTube dan website PTE Study, agar skorku tidak hanya lolos, tapi juga memuaskan. Sudah lama aku tidak merasakan sensasi belajar sambil menunggu-nunggu hari ujian.

Hari itu akhirnya tiba: hari tes PTE-ku. Lokasi tes di gedung PTE Academic, Universitas Tanjungpura, persis di depan fakultas kampusku dulu—nostalgia, hehe. Jadwal tesku jam 11. Pagi itu aku terbangun dengan deg-degan, rasanya seperti menghadapi ujian akhir semester lagi. Ada skor minimal yang harus aku capai (minimal 30), dan kalau tidak lolos, berarti harus mengulang tes—yang berarti keluar biaya lagi.

Jam 8.30, aku pergi ke kafe sendirian untuk sarapan sambil mengulas tips dan trik dari setiap bagian tes. Setelah itu, aku pasrahkan semuanya pada usahaku sejauh ini. Jam 10.00 aku berangkat ke gedung ujian. Setibanya di sana, aku melakukan registrasi. Ujiannya terasa cukup formal, mungkin karena ini tes internasional. Setiap sesi hanya bisa diikuti oleh 6 orang, jadi jadwalnya memang terbatas. Aku duduk di komputer nomor 1, dan semua tes dilakukan secara komputerisasi. Jawaban kita direkam dan disimpan dalam sistem. Menurutku, bagian yang paling sulit adalah writing, haha, karena temanya tidak diketahui sebelumnya dan mendadak aku merasa blank harus menyusun kata-kata seperti apa.

Dua jam berlalu, dan tes akhirnya selesai. Kata petugasnya, hasilnya bisa keluar dalam waktu 2 jam dan akan dikirim melalui email. Setidaknya, salah satu tahapan sudah kulewati, dan aku hanya bisa berdoa semoga hasilnya sesuai harapan! Seusai ujian, aku pergi makan ramen bersama teman yang juga ikut tes. Kami sempat berandai-andai seolah-olah sudah siap berangkat ke Australia dan visa sudah di tangan—padahal waktu itu, jadwal pembukaan SDUWHV saja belum pasti.

Sore itu aku lalui dengan harap-harap cemas menunggu skor. Dan… akhirnya, malamnya, hasilnya keluar! Skorku jeng jeng jeng… 81/90! Not bad! Aku langsung merasa lega. Satu langkah lebih dekat. Salah satu dokumen penting sudah ada di tangan, dan malam itu aku bisa tidur dengan tenang.

01 Juli 2024 Jujur, di tanggal ini aku sempat deg-degan banget. Soalnya, aku pernah lihat di IG Kedubes Australia yang memposting bahwa pendaftaran program WHV tahun 2023 sudah ditutup, dan pendaftaran WHV untuk tahun 2024 akan dibuka pada 1 Juli 2024. Kupikir itu adalah hari “war” untuk SDUWHV. Ternyata, itu adalah tanggal pembukaan kembali untuk lodge visa WHV. Waktu itu aku masih belum paham, haha, jadi aku sudah ngebut mempersiapkan segalanya dari awal. Pas tanggal 1 Juli tiba, ternyata tidak ada info apa pun dari Ditjen Imigrasi.

Sebulan… dua bulan berlalu…

Tidak ada kabar dari MIDO soal pembukaan SDUWHV. Hingga akhirnya, tanggal 02 September 2024, muncul pengumuman dari MIDO yang membawa kabar gembira: pembukaan kuota SDUWHV akan segera dilaksanakan! Deg-degan makin terasa! Lalu, pada 27 September 2024, MIDO mengumumkan bahwa untuk tahun 2024 hanya akan ada satu batch SDUWHV. That means, hanya ada satu kesempatan untuk “war”—jika tidak berhasil, berarti harus coba lagi tahun depan.

Overthinking dan kalut semakin terasa. Ada ketakutan terselubung, “What if aku nggak dapat?” Pasti akan sangat kecewa, karena ini adalah impian yang sudah lama aku nantikan—satu kesempatan berharga untuk explore dunia luar, bekerja di luar negeri, dan melalang buana, melihat dunia dari perspektif yang berbeda.

08 Oktober 2024 Siang itu, aku sedang santai-santai mengurus surat keterangan bank di BCA. Ini kali ketiga aku datang ke CS untuk minta surat tersebut, sampai-sampai CS-nya masih ingat dan bilang, “Lho, Cece lagi, bikin surat referensi bank lagi ya, Ce? Kapan buka kuotanya? Btw, tadi sebelum Cece juga ada yang minta surat keterangan bank, lho.” Aku cuma bisa tertawa kecil, ini sudah ketiga kalinya aku minta surat yang sama, haha.

Di saat yang hampir bersamaan, aku melihat postingan di IG Ditjen Imigrasi yang menyatakan bahwa tanggal pembukaan kuota SDUWHV adalah 10 Oktober 2024—which is lusa ini! Hatiku langsung berdetak tidak karuan! Malam itu, aku bahkan tidak bisa tidur dengan tenang, memikirkan semua persiapan untuk “war” yang harus semaksimal mungkin. Aku cek berulang-ulang file dokumen yang perlu diunggah, membaca kembali semua ketentuan agar tidak ada informasi sekecil apa pun yang terlewat.

Untungnya, aku sudah membuat akun di website-nya sebelumnya, jadi tidak perlu repot di tahap ini. Banyak pengaju lain yang mengalami error karena terlalu banyak orang yang membuat akun di waktu bersamaan.

10 Oktober 2024 Hari war dimulai! Pagi ini aku bangun lebih awal dari biasanya. Jujur, semalaman aku hampir tidak bisa tidur. Yang ada di pikiranku hanya satu: aku ingin bisa melewati hari ini dengan tenang dan lega. Banyak cerita dari tahun lalu tentang war SDUWHV yang katanya menegangkan dan “hidup-mati”—hanya ada satu kesempatan, dan kalau tidak berhasil, harus menunggu batch berikutnya yang entah kapan diadakan lagi. Jadi, hari ini, no matter what, aku harus mendapatkan surat sakti itu.

Jam 9 teng war dimulai. Laptop sudah siap, Wi-Fi aman, website sudah dibuka, dan akun sudah login. Masih menunjukkan pukul 08.45, tapi hatiku sudah dag-dig-dug, dan waktu terasa lambat. Detik demi detik berlalu sampai jam 9 tiba. Aku berpikir, Pasti bisa kok, sudah doa dan yakin. Tapi… tiba-tiba website down, dan aku ter-logout sendiri. Panik! Aku coba login lagi, hasilnya nihil, hanya muncul pesan error! Semakin panik, aku baca di grup, ternyata banyak yang mengalami hal yang sama. Temanku juga mengatakan hal yang sama, semua orang kesulitan login ke website.

Jam 9.11 aku berhasil masuk. Pengaju sudah terisi 423 dari kuota 4.796. Panik lagi! Aku coba segala cara—refresh browser, buka incognito, buka berbagai jenis browser—supaya bisa klik tab permohonan. Jika tombol “Ajukan Permohonan” berwarna biru, artinya kita bisa masuk ke halaman pendaftaran. Setelah beberapa waktu, tombol itu akhirnya berwarna biru. Aku langsung bersujud syukur, segera mengisi biodata dengan cepat karena waktu yang diberikan hanya 15 menit. Halaman 1 lancar, halaman 2 lancar, tapi di halaman 3, tersendat! Panik lagi! Setiap file yang aku coba unggah gagal. Waktu semakin habis. Aku coba ganti Wi-Fi ke tethering HP, tapi tetap gagal. Hingga waktu benar-benar habis, dan permohonanku terpental. Aku pun ter-logout sendiri.

Lemas… Rasanya mau nangis.

Usahaku seketika runtuh. Aku coba login lagi ke website tapi tidak bisa!

Aku pikir itu satu-satunya kesempatan, dan kalau sudah terpental berarti kesempatan itu hangus. Dunia rasanya runtuh. Tapi aku baca di grup lagi untuk mencari solusi. Mereka bilang coba terus masuk lagi dan ulangi dari awal. Akhirnya, meskipun panik, aku tetap mencoba. Ter-logout hingga ratusan kali kualami saat itu. Sampai akhirnya aku mendapat kesempatan kedua. Cepat-cepat aku isi lagi dan cek semuanya, tapi lagi-lagi terkendala di halaman ketiga untuk unggah file. Dan kembali lagi terpental sama seperti sebelumnya. Rasanya dunia runtuh untuk kedua kalinya. Kesempatan berharga yang kedua kali terbuang begitu saja. Kupikir semesta belum berpihak padaku.

Namun, aku tetap mencoba lagi dan lagi hingga masuk kesempatan ketiga. Kuota sudah terisi 3.000-an orang. Angka terus bertambah, mungkin karena banyak peminat dari seluruh Indonesia. Di IG MIDO, banyak yang protes dan mengeluh, hingga MIDO memberi pernyataan resmi bahwa pemohon mencapai 12.000 orang, sementara kuota hanya 4.796. Tidak heran jika website down. Tapi aku tetap berdoa. Aku yakin, surat sakti itu akan ada di tanganku hari ini! Akhirnya, aku berhasil masuk untuk ketiga kalinya, dan entah keajaiban dari mana aku bisa unggah semua file dengan bantuan tetheringHP. Aku langsung submit tanpa memikirkan sisa waktu, berserah. Yang penting aku sudah berusaha maksimal dan mengikuti semua prosedur.

Ternyata, untuk tahun ini, SDUWHV akan terbit di hari yang sama sekitar 1 jam setelah pengajuan diterima dan diverifikasi. Meski sudah lega karena berhasil submit, aku masih harus menunggu terbitnya SDUWHV. Dua jam berlalu tanpa kabar, membuatku cemas. Aku selesai submit jam 11.59, seharusnya jam 1 siang sudah terbit, tapi belum juga. Jujur, aku takut kalau ada dokumen yang terverifikasi gagal atau ada halangan lain, bahkan takut ditolak. Overthinking semakin menjadi-jadi. Aku hanya bisa duduk diam di depan laptop, menunggu status berubah ke penerbitan SDUWHV.

Tidak ada mood untuk makan sejak pagi hingga jam 14.40 sore, saat surat sakti itu akhirnya terbit!

Mau nangis bahagia! Tidak tahu lagi bagaimana mengekspresikan perasaanku. Ini adalah langkah awal untuk bisa apply WHV. Saat aku buka dan baca SDUWHV itu, rasanya seperti mimpi. Dari bulan Februari aku memimpikan ini, dan ini hari dimana aku benaar-benar mendapatkan surat berharga ini. Terima kasih banyak, Tuhan!

13 Oktober 2024 Hari Minggu yang cerah, aku memutuskan untuk fokus lodge visa. Karena ini pertama kalinya aku lodge visa, rasanya cukup deg-degan. Untungnya, aku punya banyak panduan yang bisa diikuti. Tapi tetap saja, aku sempat bingung—gimana caranya lodge visa kalau aku belum MCU? Kebingungan pertamaku: apa itu HAP ID, dan gimana caranya daftar MCU? Blank total. Untungnya, temanku mengirimkan link YouTube yang menjelaskan langkah-langkahnya. Baru deh aku paham prosesnya, termasuk cara mendapatkan HAP ID dan daftar MCU.

Aku segera menghubungi rumah sakit yang khusus untuk MCU Visa Australia, yaitu RS Premier Jatinegara. Aku memilih jadwal MCU hari Minggu, 27 Oktober 2024. Awalnya, aku berencana MCU pada 20 Oktober 2024, tapi karena suatu alasan, aku mau rescheduleke RS Bintaro. Sayangnya, RS Bintaro tidak melayani MCU pada hari Minggu. Akhirnya, aku kembali ke jadwal awal di RS Jatinegara. Namun, karena aku sudah mengajukan reschedule, jadwalku tanggal 20 Oktober hangus, jadi aku harus mundur jadwal MCU-ku ke tanggal 27 Oktober 2024.

23 Oktober 2024 Karena belum MCU, aku memutuskan untuk save dulu permohonan lodgement visa-ku. Alurnya memang bisa lodge visa dulu baru MCU, tapi aku belum punya dokumen yang di-translate, jadi rasanya lebih baik MCU dulu. Aku pun mulai mencari penerjemah tersumpah untuk menerjemahkan beberapa dokumen pendukung, seperti akta lahir dan kartu keluarga. Sayangnya, jadwal penerjemah penuh! Aku jadi menyesal kenapa tidak mengurus terjemahan lebih awal. Tapi, sudahlah. Aku terus menghubungi beberapa penerjemah tersumpah yang menerima layanan express. Untungnya, aku dapat Pak Joseph yang menyediakan layanan express dengan waktu pengerjaan 2 hari kerja. Dokumenku selesai diterjemahkan pada tanggal 23 Oktober 2024.

Saat aku mengecek hasil terjemahan dokumen—FYI, aku hanya menerjemahkan akta lahir dan kartu keluarga karena dokumen lainnya sudah bilingual—aku baru sadar kalau nama orangtuaku berbeda antara akta lahir dan KK. Wah, ini bikin aku galau berat. Seharusnya, aku lebih teliti sebelumnya untuk memastikan dokumen-dokumenku tidak ada masalah kecil seperti ini yang bisa menghambat proses visaku. Sebagai tambahan kekhawatiranku, SKCK-ku juga expired tepat tanggal 23 Oktober 2024. Aku tahu, SKCK adalah dokumen opsional untuk visa ini, tapi semakin banyak dokumen pendukung yang diunggah, kemungkinan visa granted akan lebih besar. Sayangnya, aku tidak punya waktu untuk memperpanjang SKCK karena harus mengurusnya langsung di Mabes Polri.

Aku bertanya di grup, dan mereka memastikan bahwa SKCK tidak wajib diunggah. Tapi tetap saja, aku merasa was-was. Tidak ada jaminan pasti apakah visaku akan grantedtanpa SKCK. Di tengah drama ini, muncul lagi kabar kalau ada masalah di immiaccount—katanya banyak yang tidak bisa lodge visa karena website error. Bahkan, beberapa orang menyebarkan rumor bahwa pendaftaran visa akan ditutup sampai tahun depan. Wah, ini benar-benar bikin panik dan overthinking.

Benar saja, malam itu, setelah aku mendapatkan hasil terjemahan dokumen, aku mencoba lodge visa. Tapi ternyata, immiaccount benar-benar tidak bisa diakses. Memang, aku sudah menyimpan semua data sejak 13 Oktober 2024, tapi halaman tersebut tidak bisa dilanjutkan. Yang muncul hanya notifikasi maintenance, dan itu membuatku semakin galau karena tidak bisa memproses visaku. Padahal, aku hanya tinggal lodge dan membayar biaya permohonan visa. Rasanya frustrasi karena sudah begitu dekat, tapi masih terhalang masalah teknis.

Hari itu, pikiranku penuh dengan kekhawatiran: soal nama orangtua yang tidak sinkron, SKCK expired, masalah immiaccount, dan waktu yang terus berjalan.

Rasanya seperti drama tak berujung.

Tiap jam aku terus refresh immiaccount, berharap ada perubahan. Aku juga rajin cek grup, siapa tahu ada teman-teman yang berbagi info kalau maintenance sudah selesai. Tapi tetap saja, hasilnya nihil—selalu gagal. Mungkin karena terlalu banyak orang yang mencoba lodge WHV ini, jadi aksesnya dibatasi. Aku mulai merasa menyesal, kenapa aku tidak lebih cekatan dan mengamankan lodge visa lebih awal. Overthinking pun muncul. Bagaimana kalau benar-benar kuota tahunan ditutup dan baru dibuka tahun depan? Kalau itu terjadi, perjuangan war SDUWHV-ku jadi sia-sia. Pikiran-pikiran itu membuatku tidak bisa tidur, hati gelisah, benar-benar galau.

Sampai akhirnya, 25 Oktober 2024, sekitar jam 12 siang, aku coba login ke immiaccount lagi, dan ternyata BISA! Tanpa pikir panjang, aku langsung lodge visa dan melakukan pembayaran. Untungnya, semua dokumen sudah aku unggah dan simpan sebelumnya, jadi begitu maintenance selesai, aku tinggal klik submit. Syukurlah, pada 25 Oktober 2024, jam 12.29, visaku tersubmit dan status berubah menjadi received.

Lega banget rasanya!

Tapi, tidak lama kemudian muncul kekhawatiran baru. Aku sudah punya HAP ID yang aku request sendiri sebelumnya, tapi aku lodge visa-nya dulu sebelum MCU. Saat lodge, ada pertanyaan apakah sudah pernah MCU sebelumnya. Kalau sudah, aku tinggal memasukkan HAP ID-ku. Masalahnya, aku belum MCU, tapi HAP ID-ku sudah ada. Kalau aku tidak memasukkan HAP ID, nanti malah dapat HAP ID baru dari imigrasi, yang berarti bisa jadi double. Bingung banget! Akhirnya, aku tetap nekat lodge visa dengan menyertakan HAP ID-ku yang aku request di awal, meskipun aku belum MCU. Aku hanya bisa berdoa semoga tidak ada masalah besar karena keputusan ini.

27 Oktober 2024 Aku berangkat ke Jakarta malam Minggu, 26 Oktober 2024, dengan penerbangan sore jam 6. Pesawat sempat sedikit delay, tapi aku tetap tenang karena Sabtu sore setelah pulang kerja aku tidak perlu terburu-buru mengejar ke bandara. Untungnya, proses MCU tidak lama, jadi aku tidak perlu mengajukan cuti. Tapi tentu saja, muncul lagi kekhawatiran baru. Malam sebelum MCU, aku haid! Panik lagi, karena salah satu persyaratan MCU adalah tes urin. Kenapa ya rasanya selalu ada saja masalah bertubi-tubi?

Sabtu pagi, aku benar-benar galau. Aku langsung memastikan ke pihak RS apakah aku masih bisa lanjut MCU dengan kondisi haid. Kalau tidak, aku harus reschedule tiket pesawat dan jadwal MCU, yang mana saat ini MCU sedang penuh-penuhnya karena banyak pengaju visa yang daftar. Kebayang antrean panjang dan waktu tunggu yang makin lama, dan itu bikin aku khawatir proses visaku jadi semakin tertunda. Untungnya, pihak RS mengonfirmasi bahwa tes urin sudah tidak lagi menjadi bagian dari MCU untuk visa ini. Lega banget!!! Setidaknya, aku tidak perlu reschedule, dan proses MCU bisa tetap berjalan sesuai jadwal.

Pagi itu, aku sampai di RS Premier Jatinegara sekitar jam 6.30 pagi dan langsung menuju tempat MCU di lantai 7. Meskipun pelayanannya baru buka jam 8, sekitar jam 7 lebih aku sudah diperbolehkan masuk untuk pengisian administrasi oleh stafnya. Estimasi awal, aku dapat giliran jam 9.05, tapi karena aku datang pertama, aku langsung dapat antrean pertama.

Jam 8.30, aku dipanggil untuk cek fisik dan mata. Dokternya melakukan sedikit wawancara tentang riwayat kesehatan dan menanyakan beberapa hal seputar diri kita. Setelah itu, dilakukan pemeriksaan fisik seperti cek nafas, detak jantung, dan refleks tubuh. Kemudian, lanjut ke tes mata seperti membaca huruf-huruf pada papan optik.

Selanjutnya, aku diarahkan ke ruangan kedua untuk timbang berat badan, cek tinggi badan, dan tensi. Di sini, aku juga diberitahu bahwa hasil MCU akan dikirimkan langsung ke imigrasi Australia dalam 3 hari kerja. Hasilnya bisa mulai ditanyakan pada H+1 setelah selesai. Setelah itu, aku diarahkan ke ruangan lain untuk pengambilan darah. Sebelum tes, aku sempat disarankan untuk banyak minum air agar hasilnya lebih baik. Oh ya, seminggu sebelum MCU, aku sampai nyetok susu Bear Brand dan minum rutin karena katanya itu bagus untuk kesehatan, terutama paru-paru. Did it work? Aku nggak tahu pasti, tapi aku tetap mengikuti saran orang-orang, siapa tahu memang ada manfaatnya.

Setelah selesai di lantai 7, aku lanjut ke kasir untuk melakukan pembayaran, kemudian diarahkan ke radiologi untuk Chest X-Ray. Proses Chest X-Ray cukup cepat ternyata. Saat tes, kita diminta mengikuti arahan staf, seperti cara bernapas yang sesuai prosedur. Di ruangan ini, kita hanya diperbolehkan memakai baju luar tanpa aksesoris seperti kalung, agar tidak mengganggu hasil foto. Seluruh proses MCU telah dipenuhi. Malamnya, aku pun langsung terbang kembali ke Pontianak.

MCU selesai! Berarti, aku tinggal menunggu hasilnya di-submit oleh pihak RS dan difinalisasi oleh imigrasi Australia.

Keesokan harinya setelah MCU, status Health Assessment di immiaccount-ku berubah menjadi finalised. Artinya, hasil MCU-ku bagus, dan pihak RS juga mengonfirmasi bahwa semua hasil normal. Lega rasanya! At least, aku tidak perlu MCU ulang, dan peluangku untuk granted semakin besar.

Tapi, apakah aku bisa menunggu dengan tenang? Oh, tentu tidak!

Masih ingat kekhawatiranku sebelumnya? Soal SKCK, aku sudah tidak terlalu cemas karena membaca banyak pengalaman orang yang tetap granted meskipun tanpa SKCK. Kalau pun nanti diminta, aku pikir aku bisa memperpanjang SKCK lagi.

Namun, yang benar-benar jadi sumber overthinking setiap hari adalah perbedaan nama orang tua di akta lahir dan kartu keluarga. Tiap hari aku kepikiran, apalagi setelah membaca case di Facebook tentang orang-orang yang kena random check karena masalah data ini. Ada yang harus bikin surat pernyataan kalau nama itu mengacu pada orang yang sama, ada juga yang diminta update KK, yang jelas itu semua butuh waktu dan proses yang tidak cepat, belum lagi harus di-translate lagi. Banyak juga yang bilang kalau tahu data ada perbedaan seperti ini, jangan coba-coba unggah KK karena bisa jadi malah bikin posisi kita lebih sulit kalau terkena random check. Rasanya, setiap hari aku tidak bisa tidur tenang, hanya bisa berdoa agar prosesku berjalan mulus dan visaku tidak menemui hambatan.

12 November 2024 18 hari berlalu sejak lodge visa dan selesai MCU. Setiap hari, aku rajin login ke immiaccount, berharap status visaku berubah dari received menjadi finalised dan granted. Tapi, nihil. Aku juga cek email berkali-kali, namun tidak ada notifikasi baru. Sementara itu, di grup, banyak pejuang WHV lain yang visanya sudah granted, dan aku mulai memperhatikan polanya—ternyata waktu lodge sangat berpengaruh. Semakin cepat kita lodge, semakin cepat visanya diproses. Karena aku lodge pada 25 Oktober 2024, berarti aku harus menunggu giliran teman-teman yang lodge pada 23 Oktober 2024 selesai granted terlebih dahulu sebelum giliranku. Setiap kali ada notifikasi dari Gmail, jantungku langsung berdebar kencang, tapi selalu saja bukan email granted. Rasanya mau nangis dan kecewa setiap kali harapan itu pupus.

14.46 Sore itu, aku memutuskan untuk refresh immiaccount untuk terakhir kalinya hari itu. Aku pikir, kalau tidak ada kabar, aku akan logout dan berharap lagi keesokan harinya.

Tapi… tiba-tiba, statusnya berubah menjadi FINALISED!

Aku terdiam. Bengong. Rasanya detik itu berhenti. Tanganku gemetaran. Aku refreshlagi untuk memastikan, dan di sebelah namaku tertulis GRANTED.

Aku mengecek kembali emailku, apa ada Grant Notification-nya? Beneran ada!

Semua overthinking-ku langsung buyar. Rasanya tidak bisa diungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Aku tidak perlu lagi memikirkan perbedaan nama dokumen atau takut terkena random check. Jantungku berdegup kencang, tapi kali ini penuh dengan kebahagiaan. Hari itu, semua impianku mulai terlihat semakin nyata.

Aku baca lagi granted letter-ku, dan akhirnya aku bisa mengatakan: Yes, I got that WHV with my name on it.

Terima kasih, Tuhan! ✨

Dan di sinilah perjalanan panjang ini akhirnya sampai pada awal yang baru. Semua perjuangan, rasa cemas, overthinking, dan doa yang tak henti-hentinya kini terbayar. Surat sakti itu bukan hanya sekadar dokumen, tapi simbol dari mimpi yang selama ini aku perjuangkan. Kini, langkah pertama sudah selesai—dan petualangan sesungguhnya baru saja dimulai.

Australia, here I come! 🌏✨