#00's sci-fi

[posthumanwanderings]

[arconinternet]

Orion's Arm Universe Project (Website, 2000 onward)

You can read it in the Wayback Machine here, or in the present day here.

Pictured below: a Siberoo, cultural figure Baseline Bob, and a trio of Godchasers.

[thedepartmentofdiscoveries]

1. Cally's War - ©2004, 2022 Clyde Caldwell All Rights Reserved

Size: 16 3/4″ X 26 1/2″

Medium: Oils

Date: 2004

Publication: Baen hardback cover for the book by John Ringo and Julie Cochrane.

This painting is not for sale.

2. Sister Time - ©2007, 2022 Clyde Caldwell All Rights Reserved

Size: 16 1/2″ X 26″

Medium: Oils

Date: 2007

Publication: Baen hardback book cover for Sister Time by John Ringo & Julie Cochrane.

This painting has been sold.

[screensfromhorror]

Alien vs Predator (2004)

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

Rage  -  Human Metal

[gaminghearts1-blog]

Best Final Destination Movie?

[feychannel]

So you want to play an indie otome or dating sim but don't know where to start...

Like the title says, I wanted to make a rec list for those who are more interested in indie otomes but don’t necessarily know where to start! So for those who saw the latest Nintendo Direct or maybe those who’ve just always wanted to try something new, this list is for y’all. I’ve immensely enjoyed every single title (and hope y’all do too). Without further ado... here's the short list!

Changeling by @steamberrystudio (and their sci-fi spiritual successor, Gilded Shadows): Liked "Buffy," but thought it needed more Faes? Changeling is exactly the type of contemporary otome you want and needed in your life yesterday. With several wonderful young men to romance, and an intriguing plotline that references fae mythology, you'll be set!

The Rose of Segunda: Liked Bridgerton? Thought it needed an even longer gala than canon? Then RoS (and its amazing sequel, "Thorns of War") by @blackcross-taylor is the game to play! I've been impressed with how this studio weaves political intrigue into the very plot, and how it commits to the stories it creates.

Band Camp Boyfriend: Somehow, this game is both a 00's sitcom and a thriller all in one (with all the drama of a gripping telenovela in some routes). If you missed summer camp, marching band, and/or just want to know what that's like, check out this delightful title by @lovebirdgames

3 Seasons: We love a woman with melanin!! But in all seriousness, the concept of a young woman applying for a job, only to find out she's the next Spring Spirit is delightful. Note: this is a free title (but the developer @hamiltonhour accepts payment on their itch).

Magical Warrior Diamond Heart: Precure meets Sailor Moon meets the sweetest otome!! In this house we love Valerie and her zany crew. @magicalwarriordiamondheart has truly outdone themselves with each update; the common route is free, but the developer has a Patreon you can support!

Herotome: I would be amiss if I didn't mention my current favorite superhero-themed otome, where your lovely protagonist will face pivotal choices in their quest to become a hero! While only the demo is out so far (just so y'all aren't expecting the full product), developer @herotome is a delight to follow with all their updates!!

Honorable mentions: Twisted Carnival, Titan Arum (warning: both titles contain more horror than the average otome), and Arcardia Fallen

[yurimother]

Yuri of Absence and The Chair of Yuri: Combining Lesbian Manga and Science Fiction - The Secret Garden

This article was originally written in 2021 as part of The Secret Garden, YuriMother's exclusive series of articles, available only for Patrons. If you want to access other articles and help support Yuri and LGBTQ+ content, subscribe to the YuriMother Patreon.

In the “olden days” of Yuri, which is really to say anything in the ‘00s or earlier, there was not much variety in the mainstream Yuri market. If you wanted to read a manga about the romance between two women or watch an anime with clear lesbian elements, choices were between a sweet school story or a classic tragic school Yuri story. As I have mentioned many times recently, one of the most significant advancements in the recent Yuri genre is the advent of sub-genres. Once considered an element or subgenre itself, Yuri hosts various works from isekai to feminist literature. However, one of the most curious and certainly most well-known subgenres is science fiction.

Yuri science fiction is in the spotlight right now, with everything from visual novels like Synergia to webcomics like Ratana Satis’s Soul Drifters. However, one of the most prolific and rightly celebrated titles is Iori Miyazawa’s Otherside Picnic. The series began publishing under Hayakawa’s Bunko JA imprint in 2017, and over the past few years, it exploded onto the scene.  It has an upcoming sixth book, a manga adaptation serialized in Monthly Shounen Gangan, healthy overseas publishing, and of course, an anime adaptation helmed by Kase-san and Stiens;Gate director Takuya Sato. It has garnered praise from critics CBR, Anime News Network, and Erica Friedman of Okazu. I wrote glowing reviews for the first few books, complimenting its worldbuilding, pacing, and characters. However, Otherside Picnic did not spring out of anywhere. Indeed, it is the product of gradual shifts in Yuri and sci-fi storytelling and Miyazawa’s genius theories and knowledge of the genres.

The mixture of Yuri and science fiction is not anything new; it predates most other forms of Yuri save Class S school romances. You may not picture many of these when you think of modern Yuri sci-fi, but as early as 1975, we had Yuri stories like Boku no Shotaiken that included small sci-fi elements, in this case, transferring the mind to another body. Over the next two decades or so, a time during which so few Yuri titles surfaced, it is occasionally referred to as Yuri’s “era of Darkness,” multiple titles sci-fi titles including Dirty Pair, Project A-Ko, Bubblegum Crisis, and Iczer featured science fiction settings and Yuri elements. At this time, Yuri was not much of a genre as we think of it today, but more of a factor inserted into a larger narrative. Think of Yayoi and Shion from Psycho-Pass for a more contemporary example. In fact, except for Iczer, none of these titles feature any outright lesbian characters, just female casts with “Yuri-ish” moments of women standing close together and being companions.

These titles feature two key elements that many current series have shifted further away from, soft sci-fi and Weak Yuri. Soft, as opposed to hard science fiction, is the more established of these two scales. Science fiction can be separated between outlandish and impossible ideas, sometimes known as science fantasy, and those based in reality, research, and the hard sciences such as physics, astronomy, and mathematics. Sorting works between these two labels is, ironically, not an exact science, and fans and critics alike argue about their precise definitions. However, let us consider soft and hard science as a spectrum, with outlandish premises like Dragonball on the soft end and the reality-based concepts of Space Brothers at the other. One can sort most titles along this continuum. M Alan Kazlev does an excellent job dissecting this scale in further detail. Many of the titles we enjoy today, including Otherside Picnic, inhabit this transitory space, as it is not fantasy. Still, its reliance on anthropology and psychology’s soft sciences may put it a small step below more grounded hard sci-fi. Still, it is far above the aliens and superpowered robots in ‘80s anime, so we shall consider it hard sci-fi for the sake of this argument.

*Note: Many science fiction circles use the abbreviation sci-fi for soft science fiction and SF for hard science fiction. For ease of readability and common vernacular, this article uses “sci-fi” for both instances.*

Sci-fi Yuri did not break out of soft science fiction territory until very recently. In the 1990s, Yuri underwent dramatic changes thanks to Sailor Moon and Revolutionary Girl Utena, which helped reform it as a genre rather than a feature. Maria Watches Over Us revived S Yuri traditions, and new titles were set in schools and focused on modern girls’ lives. In the 2000s, Yuri magazines began serialization and featured stories such as Kisses, Sighs, and Cheery Blossom Pink and Strawberry Shake Sweet (both serialized under different names). Despite being primarily aimed at adult women, the magazine found success with male audiences, prompting new stories appealing to men and boys. These works reintroduced action and science fiction into the genre with pieces like Kannazuki no Miko: Destiny of the Shrine Maiden, Blue Drop, and Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl (Yuriboke does a better job breaking all these down). However, all these were still vehemently in soft sci-fi territory, with Kashimashi’s only surreal element being an alien because the author was, to simplify grossly, unable to fathom the existence of transgender people (coming full circle from Boku no Shotaiken). Possibly the only contemporary mainstream hard sci-fi title to include Yuri and enjoy a modicum of success was Qualia The Purple. However, this series did not have the genre-defining power that later works would.

However, what changes between these series and those mentioned earlier is the Yuri itself. The relationships become much more explicit and central to the plot. You can deliberate whether or not Bubblegum Crisis is sapphic, but just try sitting someone down and arguing that Kannazuki no Miko is not built around the crux of two women holding romantic interest in each other. Yuri science fiction author Gengen Kusano proposes a dichotomy similar to soft and hard sci-fi to analyze these titles, Weak and Strong Yuri. He explains it in his own brilliantly convoluted and philosophical way, but in short, Weak Yuri relies on using logic and the mind to make the real imaginary, while strong Yuri is about emotionalism and realism, making fiction into reality.

Strong Yuri is Yuri that focuses on realism through feelings and emotions. Kusano describes it as fiction characters having real emotions. They have strong connections and affection for each other that are real and powerful. The audience experiences the feelings between the characters as they are felt and portrayed. Think of how emotional the exclamations and love, sorrow, confusion, and affection are in titles like Bloom Into You and Citrus. In a sense, they can be so strong that they transcend their fictional confines and become real, as they are experienced by considers, a stage called “radically Strong Yuri.” Most explicit Yuri, which is not subtext or suggestive content but in-your-face lesbianism, is Strong Yuri, although not all Strong Yuri is outright depictions of lesbianism; it is a square rectangle situation, not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles.

Weak Yuri is cemented in the areas of thought, logic, and epistemology. It deals with the theory of mind, the ability to attribute mental states to others or ourselves. For example, when we see someone smiling or laughing, we may not feel their emotion ourselves, as we do not have direct access to their mind, but we recognize that they are happy. In Weak Yuri, one uses their theory of mind to observe facts and deduce the existence of a Yuri relationship, even if one is not present. So-called “Yuri-ish” titles like Yuru Camp or K-ON! do not outright state or depict romantic or sexual attractions, but is attributed by the viewers onto characters.  Said observer witnesses the interactions between girls and, using that factual and observable data, puzzles out a lesbian attraction they prescribe to the subjects, whether real. Shipping culture relies on Weak Yuri’s logic Kusano’s most extreme, “Radical Weak Yuri,” the relationships of real people, like idols, become imaginary through these projections.

Blue Drop and Kashimashi may have been soft Sci-fi, but unlike the soft sci-fi, Weak Yuri series of the twentieth century, they featured Strong Yuri and placed it more as a central aspect of the work with other elements built around, rather than as a side element. The next revolution in sci-fi Yuri came when hard sci-fi titles began production. A few of the principal players here are Kusano himself, Otherside Picnic Creator Iori Miyazawa, and editor Rikimura Mizoguichi, all of whom feature in the viral Yuri Made Me Human interview of Miyazawa. Most of the theories and ideas discussed in this article, including Kusano’s Weak and Strong Yuri arguments, came from these seminars.

It all started with Kusano’s existential widescreen Yuri baroque proletariat hard sci-fi Love Live AU fanfic of the popular ship NicoMaki, consisting of Nico Yazawa and Maki Nishikino. The revised edition of this story, Last and First Idol, was published in 2016 and became the first debut title to win the prestigious Seiun Award in 42 years. Satoshi Maejima’s post-script essay at the end of the Last and First Idol collection gives far more detail into these works’ history. However, Idol was the first prominent story to feature Yuri in a hard sci-fi narrative. It was not perfect. In fact, in its push to feature gruesome content and insane hard sci-fi that Yuri is pushed to the wayside during most of the story.

*Author’s note: The first time I read Last and First Idol, I was completely unaware of its contents, which was a shocking experience; the story comes with a severe content warning).

Last and First Idol did not create a woven hard sci-fi, Strong Yuri narrative. However, it was a definite proof of the concept, a testament that the sprawling details and imagery of hard Sci-Fi could work with Yuri relationships. Kusano’s next short story, Evolution Girls, which would appear alongside Last and First Idol in the collection of the same name, saw the author focus more on emotionalism and create a Strong Yuri work. Nevertheless, Last and First Idol was a massive success. Future hard proof that Yuri hard sci-fi was coming in force came in December 2018, when Hayakawa Shobo ran a special edition of its long-running S-F Magazine featuring Yuri stories. The issue, planned by Rikimura Mizoguchi, proved so popular for the second time in its then 59-year history, the magazine had to reprint before release.

While Kusano was developing theories on Yuri and Hayakawa Shobo worked to push the public eye onto Yuri sci-fi, author Iori Miyazawa was refining his own Yuri premises, ones that, though he did not know it at the time, would not only see Strong Yuri and Hard sci-fi standing side by side in the same story but would synthesis the two into a unique product that could attract new fans and expand the borders of science fiction and Yuri. The work in question, of course, is Otherside Picnic. This light novel series about girls journeying to another world to hunt creatures from occult internet lore is to date Yuri science fiction’s best execution.

As Miyazawa admits, he strives to create Strong Yuri by focusing on emotionalism and realistic characters. However, such character-driven narratives are often at odds with hard science fiction, which requires dense walls of text to explain the complicated science behind its concepts and world. Miyazawa avoids this trap by utilizing Yuri tropes, specifically scenic Yuri and “Yuri of absence,” and integrating Yuri relationship into these explanatory literary lectures. Examining the latter first, rather than using narrative or exposition dialogue to unravel the intelligence behind the world or elements of science fiction, Miyazawa uses the relationship between Sorawo and Toriko.

In Otherside Picnic, explanations of the mysterious Otherside come primarily from two sources, dialogue and Sorawo’s inner monologue. When Sorawo and Torikko discuss a nuance of the paranormal creatures they investigate, it no longer becomes a large infodump but a Yuri scene about their relationship through their interactions and responses. According to both the strong Yuri theory and Yuri’s traditional definition, these emotions and discussions are the crux of the genre – stories about females’ relationships. Similar emotionalism fills Sorawo’s inner monologues, specifically in the frequent romantic admirations of Toriko. Thus, an explanation existing in that same space becomes Yuri, as it mirrors the same emotions and attraction. Merely by placing the usual exposition into interactions and relationships, Miyazawa was able to open hard science fiction to new readers, who may have been apprehensive before because of these text walls.

Miyazawa’s other secret weapon is, as he describes it, “Yuri of absence.” Relying on the principles of Strong Yuri, that Yuri is fiction made real through emotions, Yuri of absence extends these parameters outside of characters. As Strong Yuri relies on feeling, not observable data like characters, anything that invokes two women’s feelings together is Yuri. It could be a song, or an empty bench, as one can imagine two women on it and feel emotions tied to that. Of course, taken to its extreme, nearly anything can then be Yuri, as I have joked before, gesturing to an empty chair proclaiming, “Behold, a Yuri!” However, Miyazawa uses this Yuri of absence sparingly, rendering it closer to scenic Yuri’s intimacy.

Scenic Yuri, a particular type of Yuri of absence, focuses exclusively on setting and imagery, a feature that works particularly well in science fiction as according to Masahiro Noda’s “sci-fi is all about images.” Traditional Yuri uses character interaction and supplements it with images and sights that help communicate characters’ emotions and intimacy, like fleeting shots or descriptions of the sky. Take the shot from Kase-san and Morning Girls where Yamada stands by the bus stop. The distance between the girls, the tree in the foreground on Yamada’s side, and the pole on the right all invoke emotion and help tell the girls’ story, distanced by their differences and upcoming life paths. Now remove the girls, the scene remains, as does its meaning and emotions, whether the characters are present or not.

Scenic Yuri is employed vigorously in more male-targeted S Yuri (a minority of the Class S genre). Here, the imagery provides intimacy so that the voyeuristic viewer could look into the characters’ private and forbidden lives, specifically the girls in all-girls schools. Take the shot from Strawberry “Mo Man May Enter Here” Panic. The sweeping view of the Strawberry Dorms atop Astraea Hill, a place where men are forbidden, gives the consumer an exclusive inside look at the private home of its subjects. Otherside Picnic uses these same scenic Yuri principles in its descriptions. In this case, the intimacy does not come from a place where men are prohibited or a shot describing women’s relationships. Instead, the reports of abandoned ruins and deserted open fields where only Toriko and Sorawo exist provide extreme intimacy. It is an emotional view of two of the few women in this world with nothing but each other; thus, Yuri.

Yuri science fiction is easily the most exciting place in the genre right now. Its creators are experimenting with new theories and storytelling methods to expand the boundaries of what science fiction or Yuri alone could never do. The subgenre has undoubtedly come a long way from its Weak Yuri roots and continues to grow. Industry leaders like Miyazawa and Mizoguichi will continue to push into this excited and uncharted territory, using tactics new and old to bring together Yuri’s emotional and romantic core with science fiction’s epic and provoking imagery. I have few doubts that we have seen all these pioneers have to offer and that Last and First Idol and Otherside Picnic are just the beginning.

Sources

Friedman, Erica, and Kishiji Bando. “Shoujo Yuri Manga Guide.” Yuricon, 29 Mar. 2011, https://www.yuricon.com/oldessays/shoujo-yuri-manga-guide/.

Hanson, Katherine. Yuri No Boke 百合のボケ 〜百合が好きだ〜: Sci-Fi Yuri Anime and Manga. 17 Feb. 2012, http://yurinoboke.blogspot.com/2012/02/sci-fi-yuri-anime-and-manga.html.

Kit, et al. Tomo Choco Podcast Episode 58: A Trip to the Otherside. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/tomochoco5287491142565609/id/14974343. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Komatsu, Mikikazu. “S-F Magazine’s Yuri-Themed Issue Gets Reprints Before Release.” Crunchyroll, https://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-news/2018/12/18/s-f-magazines-yuri-themed-issue-gets-reprints-before-release. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Kusano, Gengen. “[R-18] #SF #矢澤にこ 【SF合同サンプル】最後にして最初の矢澤 - 節足原々（セッソクハラハラ）の小説.” Pixiv, https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=4992326. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

M Alan Kazlev. “The Scale of Hardness in Science Fiction.” Futurism, https://vocal.media/futurism/the-scale-of-hardness-in-science-fiction. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Masayuki Sakoi. Strawberry Panic S01:E21 - Like a Flower. Madhouse, 2006. tubitv.com, https://tubitv.com/tv-shows/558933/s01-e21-like-a-flower.

Maser, Verena. Beautiful and Innocent: Female Same-Sex Intimacy in the Japanese Yuri Genre. ubt.opus.hbz-nrw.de, https://ubt.opus.hbz-nrw.de/frontdoor/index/index/docId/695. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Miyazawa, Iori, et al. Yuri Made Me Human, Part 2. Translated by Kati_lilian, 24 Aug. 2018, https://teletype.in/@kati_lilian/S1yjBCJgH.

Miyazawa, Iori, and Rikimaru Mizoguchi. Yuri Made Me Human — Interview with Iori Miyazawa. Translated by kati_lilian, May 2018, https://teletype.in/@kati_lilian/SJA8KwjjN.

Moore, Caitlin, et al. “The Winter 2021 Preview Guide - Otherside Picnic.” Anime News Network, https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/preview-guide/2021/winter/otherside-picnic/.167892. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Nicki “YuriMother” Bauman. The History and Future of Transgender Representation in Yuri - The Secret Garden, January 2021 | YuriMother on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/posts/45495024. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

---. “Yuri Is for Everyone: An Analysis of Yuri Demographics and Readership.” Anime Feminist, 12 Feb. 2020, https://www.animefeminist.com/yuri-is-for-everyone-an-analysis-of-yuri-demographics-and-readership/.

Pinansky, Sam. Interview with J-Novel Club’s Sam Pinansky. Interview by Erica Friedman, 1 Oct. 2019, https://okazu.yuricon.com/2019/10/01/interview-with-j-novel-clubs-sam-pinansky/.

Sarantos, Constance. “How Otherside Picnic Breaks the Yuri Genre Mold.” CBR, 10 Jan. 2021, https://www.cbr.com/otherside-picnic-breaks-yuri-genre-mold/.

“「SF冬の時代」は雪解けを迎えた 早川書房・溝口力丸 Vol.1.” KAI-YOU Premium, https://premium.kai-you.net/article/201. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Snapshot. https://www.cbr.com/otherside-picnic-breaks-yuri-genre-mold/. Accessed 18 Feb. 2021.

Takuya Satou. Watch Kase-San and Morning Glories. Sentai Filmworks, 2018. vrv.co, https://vrv.co/series/GYQWD1X1Y/Kase-san-and-Morning-Glories.

Walter, Damien. “Science Fiction vs SciFi vs SF: What Is the True Definition?” Damien Walter, 7 Aug. 2018, https://damiengwalter.com/2018/08/07/science-fiction-vs-scifi-vs-sf-what-is-the-true-definition/.

YuriMother. “LGBTQ Light Novel Review - Otherside Picnic Vol. 1.” The Holy Mother of Yuri, 12 Dec. 2019, https://yurimother.com/post/189635367305.

This article was originally written in 2021 as part of The Secret Garden, YuriMother's exclusive series of articles, available only for Patrons. If you want to access other articles and help support Yuri and LGBTQ+ content, subscribe to the YuriMother Patreon.

[wherethewhumpthingsare]

Kairos (카이로스) Whumplist

Image Source

Whumpee: Kim Seo Jin (김서진) Portrayed by: Shin Sung Rok (신성록)

Synopsis: A woman, looking for her mother, and a man who lost his family, work together each day to save their loved ones from their tragic fates. (Google)

Genre: Action, Thriller, Drama, Sci-Fi

Where to Watch: Viki.com

Note: This drama had whump in just about every episode, both emotional and physical.

TW: S*icide (especially episode 1)

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Episode 1: anxious, building suddenly crumbling around him, waking abruptly, anxious & taking meds (00:44); panicked, worried for his daughter (20:40); exhausted, chapped lips, been awake all night, desperate, upset, shouting, crying (24:35); looking exhausted, receives alarming call, upset, scared (41:20); speaking to his daughter’s kidnapper, scared (45:40); restless, getting upset, panting, sees something deeply disturbing, shocked, weeping (50:20); told shocking news, weeping, argument with wife, weeping (57:25); worried, listening to wife's s*icide voicemail (1:04:00); trying to search for wife in the river, grabbed & stopped, in denial, weeping, in shock, almost leaping from bridge (1:06:00))

Episode 2: repeat of last scene from previous ep, crying, almost leaping from bridge (0:00); agitated (5:20); looking exhausted, baggy eyes (10:08); looking at old photos of daughter, distressed (14:40); woken from sleep, exhausted, baggy eyes, chapped lips, shocked, furious, attacking someone he thinks killed his daughter, pulled away (18:35); crying, feeling useless, nightmare: building collapsing around him, waking covered in debris, waking up panting, medicating, distressed while listening to upsetting recording (22:00); frustrated (37:00); talking about almost getting killed (52:50); shocked, relieved, crying (1:00:40))

Episode 3: lunging at someone in anger, held back, shouting, having a breakdown, weeping, shaking (9:00); frustrated, distressed, panting (17:00); sad memory, crying (27:50); red-rimmed eyes, looking sick & exhausted, crying (31:50); past self told about his daughter's future death (35:00); sudden head pain, new memory surfacing (40:25); alone, crying (53:15); upset, hearing shocking news (56:30); worried for someone (59:07)

Episode 4: coming upon a murder scene, frustrated (3:35); speaking to his daughter's killer, crying, angry (22:30); interrogated (30:40); sudden headache during interrogation, groaning (36:35); still being interrogated, headache (44:05); frustrated, headache, worried (54:00); angry (57:00)

Episode 5: angry, headache, memory surfacing (13:15); headache, memory surfacing (23:40); startled, falling & panting, scared (1:05:40)

Episode 6: waking from nightmare, panting (10:10); suffering from insomnia, asking for stronger meds (17:45); shocked, panting, upset (22:50); stressed, medicating (59:20); sleeping, accused of murder, fleeing, jumping from balcony, injured knee, shouting in pain, limping, arrested, pushed down on his injured knee (1:01:20)

Episode 7: sudden headache, memory surfacing (31:55); shocked by betrayal, teary eyed, hit in the back of the head twice, bleeding, slowly passing out (1:04:20)

Episode 8: pretending to be unconscious, face covered in blood, crying, you can see his pulse jumping like crazy in this scene (0:25); past self drunk, stumbling, arguing, shouting (2:30); still lying in bed, bandage on his head (7:20); still unconscious (20:10); 25:38(almost drugged, disintegrating (25:38); worried, panicking, crying (52:20); traumatic memory triggered, panicking, teary eyed (1:02:50); future self dying in car crash, bleeding, slowly passing out (1:06:30)

Episode 9: future self in hospital unconscious, oxygen mask, cuts & bruises on his face, head bandaged (16:00); memory triggered, panicking, taking meds, in a cold sweat, worried over, future self still in hospital, crying in his sleep (29:25); talking to doc about suffering panic symptoms, told he's having delusions (34:40); talking about his past, teary eyed (44:30); future self in hospital unconscious (49:20); talking about his past (1:00:00); future self still unconscious in hospital, threatened (1:07:15)

Episode 10: flashes of memory, sudden head pain, grunting, panting, worried over, medicating, scared (37:50); future self still unconscious in hospital, hand moving to grab someone while still unconscious (56:33); future self finally waking up (1:07:20)

Episode 11: future self unconscious in hospital (8:50); waking, groaning, crying, interrogated & accused, panicking (17:40); struggling out of hospital bed, groaning in pain, almost falling down steps, limping, chased (25:30); having trouble remembering things, panicking (30:30); on bathroom floor crying, flashbacks to the car accident, drugged, angry, shouting (48:10); angry, deliberately hitting his family's killer with a car, pulled away, shouting, trying to kill the culprit (1:02:15); flashback to being in hospital, covered in cuts & bruises (1:06:00)

Episode 12: shocked, teary eyed (0:00); sudden headache, new memory (58:00); sudden pain, clutching head, new memory (59:40); crying (1:05:35)

Episode 13: future self in pain from new memories, speaking to his past self (10:00); slammed on the ground, choked, punched, gasping, arrested (32:00); past self interrogated (48:40); in a cell, disappearing, waking up panting, dropping to his knees weeping (59:40)

Episode 14: panicking, worried for someone (00:50); angry (7:00); argument (26:10)

Episode 15: past self remembering future memory of being betrayed & hit in the head with a bat, shocked (24:20); pain from past memory surfacing (56:00); manhandled, punched, mouth bleeding, thrown off roof, lying dead in a pool of blood (1:03:35)

Episode 16: manhandled, punched, dropping to his knees, clutching side in pain, fought, slashed with knife, helped (34:10)

[posthumanwanderings]

[arconinternet]

Cerberus (Windows, THGames, ~2001)

A Zelda-like game made in the classic game-making program Klik & Play. You can play it in your browser here. Fullscreen recommended.

Controls: Space starts, Arrows move, Shift shoots, Ctrl chooses weapon. You run faster when pushing along walls.

There's a Waybacked website with a walkthrough and map here.

[gunnrblze]

Thinking about writing teen Kick fanfic and I got very vivid ideas for the vibe but I am like so shit at outlining the plot and detailing it to late 90s-2000s tech cuz I was in the desert sand during that time

And since I love your aesthetics with the ghost boys, what do you think about;

Teen Kick:

owns a camcorder, takes it nearly everywhere he goes outside and enjoys making vlogs on tapes, mostly consisting of abandoned place explorations and attempts of paranormal activity caught on camera. (Marble hornets and analog horror inspired)

Obsessed with cryptids and critters, might not actually believe they're real but thinks they're such neat concepts and they're fun to talk about.

↑explains why he found himself exploring the woods and forestry around his mid-late teens

fascinated by weird sightings and loves recording shit to show off and ramble about to his friends, just passionate about his interests

Owns a flip phone or whatever good old fashioned cellphone during that time, would try to invite his friends over to go cryptid hunting, alien watching, or explorations w/ him

I'm stumped cuz I have a few stuff thatll be purely HCs like:

Nickname for him in his teenhood if Kick was his military callsign

Headcanon about which part of America he's from to pinpoint location and setting of the drabble

Tf happened in 90-2000s

Could you help me please🙏🙏 need headcanons<33 a lot of them

Ahh I love this idea! This all sounds so accurate for a fic like this. Teen Kick that takes a camcorder everywhere sounds so on brand, I can definitely see him having that ‘let’s go to this haunted/abandoned house…what do you mean why? Cause it’s fun’ energy lol. Alien/ghost hunting and cryptid sightings seem right up his funky alley.

As for his name/location, that can be difficult since you can literally make up anything you want lmao. But I like to hc him as being from somewhere around northeast USA that starts to teeter into the south, think Pennsylvania/New Jersey/West Virginia/etc. That would also explain his cryptid/alien/ghost loving behavior since there’s a lot of sightings and happenings in those areas. He gives me slight city kid vibes, but lived enough near the outskirts of whatever town to have been doing a bunch of rural exploring.

Since it’s implied that he’s a tech specialist for the Ghosts, I hc that growing up during the rise of technology was very influential in his career choices, and he probably spent a lot of time with stuff like this. I definitely see him with the camcorder here, and maybe a flip phone right around the turn of the century/early 00’s when they became popular. Probably spent a lot of time on some old clunky ass computer setup lol, gets flashbacks from the dial up internet sound like a true 90s kid. I think as tech kept advancing, he was always right on that shit, or at least he kept up with it.

Just some tidbits, but similar to Ghost/Simon Riley in the comics/‘09 Modern Warfare, I like to think maybe seeing 9/11 take place inspired his reasons to join whatever branch of the military he joined, seeing that as a teen would’ve def been very surreal, especially if he lived around that area. He also gives me big nerd vibes, was into all the sci-fi stuff around that time&prob played a lot of video games, had like a GameCube console or something lol.

Hope some of this helps! I love this fic idea and I hope you write it! <3

[screensfromhorror]

Alien vs Predator: Requiem (2007)

[beardedmrbean]

Hey I been thinking like how the Native Americans had slaves (okay not all), how black peoples are shocked to have slave owner ancestry, or how in Canada, they were surprised that a tribe who got their land back decided to make condos on it

Wait did they check the economic backgrounds? I sure hope the leftists don’t think that the natives never had any form of economy/ holy shit

Dear god ac3 and prey 2020 represented native Americans better leftists mindset?

But do leftists think that history is like a Disney cartoon?

Like we must abolish the electoral college because it was created during the time of slavery

Because leftists never show how out of they are

You probably seen it, but people say we should treat shit like DoorDash like vaccines….

Would like a slice of Antonine cake?(yes I know that propaganda) no wait the nobles would treat me better that these Americans aristocrats

Also this https://x.com/fuckkoroks/status/1773690311341986038?s=46

So as you know Shogun take place in the Tokugawa era. And funny enough, I suspect the reason why Yasuke will help unify Japan so the Japanese won’t be at the mercy of the growing European colonial empires in ac red

I’m just wondering how many college educated people have the mentality that they learned the bad stuff white people did in middle school?

But dear white people I don’t hate you…probably because of my dysfunctional white stepfamily and the trainwreck of my stepmom

But this tweet https://x.com/thestrxggler/status/1773497095774974416?s=46

Okay I grew up in the 00’s and 10’s and fortunate to have a black family that value academics

But when you say liking sci-fi, fantasy, speaking proper English, like animation, or preferring to have good grades is talking/acting “white”

You doomed yourselves trying to put me into tribalism bullshit.

Hey I been thinking like how the Native Americans had slaves (okay not all), how black peoples are shocked to have slave owner ancestry, or how in Canada, they were surprised that a tribe who got their land back decided to make condos on it

One of if not the first person to gain lifetime bondage of another human being in the land that would become the United States was a black man.

Not many cultures in the world that did not practice some form of slavery. You win a war you have your choice of, POW's which need to be fed and housed so now they need to earn their keep, crippling the opposing army like they did with the Bulgarian army when they blinded 99 out of every 100 men and the 1 only got to keep one eye, hostages which whatever counts as nobles or their family members, there's the mass slaughter method which was Vlad Tepes fav he was a hostage so he got 2 of those.

Because you ain't just going to let your defeated foes walk home, unless it's the US civil war, and they even got to keep their guns because 2A is for everyone USA USA USA.

But do leftists think that history is like a Disney cartoon?

Lord no, you should see what they say about Pocahontas, lol.

Like we must abolish the electoral college because it was created during the time of slavery

3/5 compromise, ya south wanted to inflate it's population with people it didn't consider human so, to put it crassly and bluntly, they fought for the right for their farm equipment to be counted as people, but just for the numbers to increase their representation.

Illegals being counted on the census accomplish the same end.

This'll go right up there next to Russia wasn't an empire because it shared land borders with the territories it conquered.

Maybe Jacobin would also like to discuss the Ainu and see how that works out in terms of colonization. Granted both groups have been there for so long there's not really much to say about colonization likely more just human migration to the same place.

So as you know Shogun take place in the Tokugawa era. And funny enough, I suspect the reason why Yasuke will help unify Japan so the Japanese won’t be at the mercy of the growing European colonial empires in ac red

Haven't seen the new one, love the one from the 80's one of the best ways to start to learn Japanese imho, since a fair chunk of the dialogue is in Japanese. 10 of 10 highly recommend watching the whole 8+ hours of it, fairly historically accurate even down to the pederasty being a thing.

I’m just wondering how many college educated people have the mentality that they learned the bad stuff white people did in middle school? But dear white people I don’t hate you…probably because of my dysfunctional white stepfamily and the trainwreck of my stepmom

Likely a fair number, as for the dear white people you have self awareness and can differentiate between a individual and a group

Oh that's gonna hurt some feelings, lol.

Be interesting to get the response to, stop acting white, to be a accusation of racism, especially when it's things like doing well in school and speaking in standard english.

Okay I grew up in the 00’s and 10’s and fortunate to have a black family that value academics But when you say liking sci-fi, fantasy, speaking proper English, like animation, or preferring to have good grades is talking/acting “white” You doomed yourselves trying to put me into tribalism bullshit.

See comment above this section for my response,

and good timing finished just as I need to leave for Good Friday service.

[enigmatist17]

John Crichton is quickly becoming one of my favorite sci-fi characters 🥰

He gives me big Daniel Jackson vibes which I am 100% here for, and the fact I missed this show somehow when it was going on around the same time SG-1 is kind of lame on my part :(

Then again I'm watching it now, and I am here for the 00's vibes 🙏

[neonacity]

ARCANE : INIZIO | CH.7 | NCT DREAM X READER

Summary: When human deviants granted with the abilities of the legendary Arcana cards find themselves racing against devious forces, they are left to make a choice that might change the fate of the world itself: be the victims of the game, or become the masters of it themselves.

But will this war end with a crowned hero?

Or will it just create another mad villain?

*****

Note: This is the second book of Arcane. The happenings in this story is a prequel to the first installment which you can check in my Masterlist. Since the lore is highly dependent on the first book, I highly suggest you check it out first—otherwise, new readers might have a hard time understanding what is happening here. Expect lots of time jumps and flashbacks throughout the chapters.

Pairings: Dream 00’ Line + Mark x Reader

Trigger Warnings/Themes: romance, violence, torture, trauma, poly dynamics, suggestive themes, language, psychological, mystery, sci-fi. The concept of the tarot or Arcana cards will be loosely used throughout the series. Note that I am not a trained doctor so there may be some slips here and there about medical things. Again, this is a work of fiction and I am not implying any likeness between the characterization here of the boys to their real life counterparts. I also reserve the rights to all my work—I do not post anywhere else other than tumblr. Minors DNI. Please do not repost. I only publish my works in Tumblr.

© neonacity, 2022

Chapter Song: Before the Dawn | Evanescence

Previously > CH. 1 | CH.2 | CH.3 | CH.4 | CH.5 | CH.6

The soft, soulful notes of the grand piano teased the edges of your consciousness like the whisper of a lover. 

You have no idea what time it is when you managed to open your eyes, but the first thing that registered to you as you stirred from your sleep were the beams of moonlight that pierced the darkness of your room. It took you a couple of quiet seconds to prop yourself up from your bed, eyes drifting towards the direction of the music as you tried to gather your bearings. Beside you, the glowing handle of the clock on your desk struck 2AM.

The cold feel of the floor seeped into your skin when you pulled the blankets off of you and finally swung your legs over the side of the bed. The hymn floating in between the cracks of your door was beautiful, but there was something about the way the notes danced around each other that made the deepest parts of your chest throb dully. For some reason, it stirred great sadness in you, so you didn't give it a second thought to pull on your night robe and step out into the hallway to find its source. You know exactly where to go… And in a way, who you will find at the end of it.

His back was on you the moment you stepped into the room. It was dark, with only the light of the moon peeking from the high window providing illumination to the almost empty space. It was enough for you, however, to make out his strong back contrasted by the graceful features of his profile. His lean fingers continued dancing across the piano keys and you decided to stop just on the edge of the hallway to watch him from a distance.

"Aren't you cold?"

You weren't surprised at all when he addressed you, his low voice braiding through the notes of the hymn he was playing. He still hasn't looked at you, but you still gave a slight shake of your head in answer.

"That's a very beautiful piece you are playing."

"Did I wake you up?"

"You did. And I think you did it intentionally, too."

The way the corner of his lips slightly curved into a small smile made you tighten your fingers around yourself. You wanted to reach out to him, touch his face, and pull him over to you all at once. You might as well have screamed your thoughts out loud because Mark finally turned to look at you, his gaze gentle and open.

"Come here?"

Your first instinct was to keep your ground, but the side of you that wanted him close got the best of you in a heartbeat. Stepping away from the shadows, you went straight to him, his arms already opening for you before you even settled beside him. You melted into his embrace, fingers treading through his hair as he pressed his nose against the crook of your neck. You frowned and closed your eyes at the contact, the heavy feeling that you didn't even know you've been lugging around for the past couple of days leaving your chest like smoke. 

"Don't do that to me again. I thought you left me," you half whispered to keep your voice steady. You felt him sigh against your skin.

"I'm sorry… I needed some time alone."

"Do you hate me?"

Mark shook his head before letting you go just enough so he could see your face. You didn't even realize the tears brimming in your eyes until he reached out to catch them before they fell with his rough fingers.

"I could never hate you."

"But I…"

His smile fell a little as he gave a slight laugh.

"I admit the rejection hurt. I needed time to compose myself again. I wasn't really at my best when we talked so I had to distance myself a little."

"Mark, I'm sorry…"

The way his gaze probed your face now made a twisting tightness bloom in your chest again. It was the same way he had always looked at you, but now with a shade of honesty that he never had before. 

"You shouldn't. You made me realize something after all."

Your throat felt tight, but you managed to speak.

"What?"

"That you love me. And that the way you also love the others doesn’t change that."

Your heart squeezed in your chest.  You wanted to answer him, give him confirmation, but the way he looked at you told you that he didn’t need any of that assurance anymore. Instead, you leaned your cheek against the hand he raised to cup your face, eyes never leaving his. When he smiled at you again, you knew right then and there that the two of you will no longer be able to go back from all the pretending that provided you safety before. This was a man who had stopped himself from holding back because for the first time, he was finally standing in the same spot you’ve always been at. 

For once, none of you are afraid.

“Are you back for real this time? I asked the others and they said you were gone for days. Nobody knew where you went.”

A look of recall quickly crossed his features at your question. He almost seemed a bit guilty, but you knew there was more to it than he was letting on. You could feel dread at the back of your throat, but waited for him to take his time to answer.

“I didn’t really leave because of our conversation. There was something I was trying to figure out.”

“What?”

“Who the traitor is behind all of this.”

You paused. Mark's gaze never wavered from yours and you could see the clear frustration from the set of his brows.

“Did you find out anything?”

“Not much. I could have done it easier with the help of my father but I—” he stopped, a hard look flashing in his eyes momentarily. “I know he is supportive of the Headmaster’s decision for all of us to go into hiding. He wouldn’t help me even if I beg him to. I was able to get access to some reports of the investigation that our family have been doing though. Whoever is coming after us must come from an advanced technology corporation. They—”

“It’s Cypher Institute, isn’t it?”

Mark froze in his seat, his gaze one of surprise before it morphed into confusion.

“How did you know that?”

“Jaemin and I snooped around in my father’s office while he was gone and someone called him about it. It was a coincidence. Was it the same Institute that you were able to confirm from your father’s side?”

The way Mark’s expression changed in just a matter of seconds slowly made an uncomfortable feeling bloom in your gut. It was what he said next, however, that really threw you off.

“My father is not aware about Cypher Institute.”

You frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“He had leads but none of the files I cross-checked had any mention of Cypher. And I looked at everything, I am sure of it. Whoever gave that information to your father is not from our family.”

The silence that wrapped the two of you was brief but heavy with meaning. There were so many questions that came to mind but it was Mark who managed to voice out the most pressing thing you couldn’t bring yourself to say.

“Do you know any other family that your father could be working with?”

You shook your head slightly.

“He does work with everyone. The Kim’s are one when he asked Mijeong to watch over me while I was in university, and I’m sure he also had agreements with the families of the other Masters. I’ve always thought that he shares a lot of his plans to your father though… Especially anything related to this threat. It was the Lee's who saved him from the latest ambush after all. It wouldn’t make sense for him to ask another family to look into things over your father…”

It took a while for Mark to finally say something as he processed that. Your throat felt dry, and you could almost feel your hand locked with his slowly grow cold.

“It would make sense. If he doesn’t fully trust my father.”

His words hung thick in the air. You didn’t know what to say, especially with him saying what you couldn’t put into words. There was something about Junho Lee that has always bothered you, but he is also Mark’s family and for that, you still provided the man a level of respect even from a distance. Still, you knew that one of your father’s reasons for trusting him stands on shaky ground—you just didn’t expect for the distrust to run this deep.

“Do you think… He can do that?”

Mark’s jaw tightened at the question. You could see the fight going inside of him so clearly that you almost felt bad for asking.

“He's a very ambitious man. I was still very young when I lost my mom, but I remember enough to know that he was never really the same after what happened. Still, he is the only other family that I have and…”

“And it is absolutely alright if you want to believe in him,” you gently interjected by giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Mark pursed his lips and he shifted his gaze away from you, his expression torn and pained.

Just like you, Mark’s life was greatly affected by what happened in the past. Fate dealt him bad cards, and for that you can’t really blame him for wanting to stand up for things he wants to believe in. You would do the same if you were in his place; choose to stand by your father before anything and anyone else. 

It took a moment before he finally seemed to break from his thoughts. Gaze following him, he reached out for something in his pocket before finally offering his open palm to you. It was dark so it took you a moment to realize what you were looking at, but your lips were soon enough parting wordlessly as he moved to open the small blue velvet box he was holding carefully. 

Lying nestled in black satin, catching the light of the moon, was a deep blue diamond ring framed with smaller clear gems on its sides. It looked ornate but well-loved, like a star that had fallen in the middle of a dark night. Your eyes widened as you stared at it, Mark’s silence in contrast to the sudden loud beating of your heart.

“What…”

“It’s my mother’s wedding ring. My father gave it to me when he told me about his plan of us getting married.”

“Mark… I…”

Your voice sounded so full of guilt, but he gently cut you off by pressing the box against your palm.

“Relax, I am not proposing to you,” he said in a tone that made you pause. “I told you that I understand where you stand now. I am not going to force you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.”

You swallowed, but let him continue. 

“But we can’t deny how dangerous it is right now. There is a traitor in our family and it could be anyone, including my father. I won’t blame you if you can’t find it in you to trust us right now, but my family can give you protection, regardless of who is the person who betrayed us. Even if it was him, I think he will spare you if we make him believe that you’re engaged to me.”

“What makes you think he will make an exception for me, Mark? If it really was him, and he was willing to sell the rest of the Masters, then he can betray anyone.”

“No. Not you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

The way you paused gave Mark the chance to really look at you, his eyes roaming your face. You were at a loss for words, and he used that as his window to continue with a gentle voice that made your chest hurt.

“My father can be ambitious and cruel, I admit that, but he knows how to honor love when he sees it. He was hit hard when he lost my mom, but I don’t think he is going to punish you and me for what happened. He will also gain nothing if he hurts you over us being engaged and making our bloodline stronger.” 

“I hate to say this, but it’s the reality we’re living in right now,” he continued. “I can protect you if you choose to continue your life as a Master. It’s that or you move away and cut off all connections with us. Follow what your father has always wanted for you and live like a normal human.”

You slowly shook your head as the weight of his words fully sunk in. You’ve always known this… Everything Mark is saying right now have always been the choices given to you. Not once have you accepted them though, especially with your only other option being to exile yourself from the Family and never see any of them for the rest of your life again.

“So are you saying that we should… tell everyone that we will get married?”

Mark’s gaze dropped before he gave a slight nod.

“Yes. At least while we haven’t figured out who the real traitor is. If they see that we’re both onboard, I don’t think they’ll rush us to it. We can buy ourselves some time.”

You were quiet. Your eyes found the ring again, a testament to a different promise made years ago. After a moment, Mark reached over and closed the box before guiding your fingers to close around it.

“You don’t need to give me an answer right now, but I want you to keep it. Even if we won’t get married, you’re the only woman who I want to have it.”

Your thumb ran over the soft plush of the velvet cover. A few seconds passed before you felt him gently hold your chin to guide you to look at him again.

“I’ll do anything and everything just so we could get to the bottom of this. Whatever happens though, I want you to know…”

“That I will never ever betray you. My life is yours.”

Time seemed to have stopped, the same way your heart did. He looked at you with nothing but bare honesty laid out and you received it, unafraid this time. A cloud shifted outside, and the next moment, you two met in the middle, lips soft against each other. It was a simple kiss, but one that you knew was long overdue. When you pulled away, you whispered softly against him, only loud enough for him to hear.

“I know. I believe you.”

******* “Come in.”

You have barely raised your hand to knock when your father’s clear voice sounded from the inside of his office. The antic would have been amusing if this were any normal day, but instead you found yourself slightly hesitating before finally pushing the door open. He wasn’t looking at you when you stepped into his room, his gaze set instead on reviewing a stack of documents laid out across his table.

“Are you busy?”

It was a rhetorical question at this point, but still, the man’s lips twitched into a small smile as he finally looked at you from over the rim of his wired glasses. He looked unhurt, but the dark shadows under his eyes betrayed how his last couple of days have been.

“Even if I am, I will always have time for you, Princess.”

You didn’t want to immediately soften after that, but you couldn’t help the way your eyes shifted sideways as a reaction. Your father, of course, noticed, and chuckled as a response.

“So? Is there anything wrong?”

Your shoulders slumped a little before you answered. To be honest, you didn’t really plan for anything when you decided to see him today. All you know is that you’re glad to see him again after he had been in and out of the Academy for the past few days, especially since you haven’t really talked after your argument. The way his eyes sparkled behind his glasses now made you think that he already has an idea why you’re here, but the man kept his silence to give you the room to open it up yourself.

“I wanted to apologize… For some of the things I have said last time.”

“Apology accepted. I want to do the same, since I have realized why my decision warranted that kind of reaction.”

Immediately, it felt like a part of the heaviness in your chest lifted. You remained standing in your spot though, your gaze open as you searched his face.

“Did you change your mind? About me and Mark?”

A pause.

“No, my dear. My stand remains the same. And you?”

You didn’t hesitate to answer.

“No… I am still against it.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything else to counter you. Your father can be as headstrong as he is, but he also knows how to draw boundaries, at least temporarily. What you said next, however, is something he definitely did not expect.

“Mark and I talked though,” you added as you tried your best to work through the lump in your throat. Ever since that night with him, you’ve sat with your thoughts to consider every angle of the situation. You still don’t have a decision, but it would be unfair to lie to your father about what has happened since.

“We… still do not have an answer right now. But we are considering things.”

It was quite hard to gauge whether he was relieved about it or not, but he gave you a slight smile after his pause of silence.

“That’s enough for me. Thank you, darling. Now, do you want to sit? I know you came here to tell me more than just that. At least try to relax a little.”

You hesitated only for a little bit before finally giving in and settling on the chair across his desk. Now that you’re closer, you could better see the lines on his face, proof that the last few days haven’t been easy on him.

“I found out who was after us. I heard it from a call… While you were gone.”

“I know.”

You shot him a guilty look.

“Are you mad?”

The question made him laugh. “Honey, I would be even more surprised if you didn’t snoop around to find out things on your own. Let me guess, did Mark come with you?”

“No. Jaemin did.”

“Mm. As expected from Mr. Na. That young man's loyalty to you is fiercer than his strongest fear.”

“Why is Cypher after us, Papa?”

You didn't know if he was taken aback by your straightforwardness or not, but the moment you asked, a shadow of emotion you couldn’t quite understand flitted over his features. It was fast, but it was enough for you to understand that he knows something more than he is letting on. At first you thought he would avoid the question, but then the light in his eyes shifted again, almost as if he was looking inward to himself.

"It's human nature to crave power. Cypher, unfortunately, is one of those willing to meddle with it."

"Do you have any idea what it is that they want from us? Even with what they have, it is impossible for them to tap into the abilities of the Arcana. Manmade resources have no chance against us."

The pause from him was loaded. The man leaned on his desk now, shoulders slightly slouched as he took off his glasses and pressed the bridge of his nose. You almost wanted to reach out to him, but he seemed on the verge of breaking at the slightest touch. A flash of uninvited memory took over you, and it was then you realized that you've seen him like this before. Once, a long time ago when you were younger…

Back when your mother died.

"I wish I knew. It's hard to go against an enemy without understanding how they could possibly hurt you, but I am sure of one thing. They're dangerous. If there's something even more powerful than greed, it's hatred, and  Cypher… has both towards us. Whatever happens, we can't let them get to us. To any of you."

His words slowly sank like dull blades into your skin. There was something lurking behind his statements, a confession hidden in plain sight. You hated how you're piecing things together slowly, how you're realizing that there is possibly more to this than just going against an enemy.

"What do you mean about them hating us?" You asked softly now, your eyes set on him. Your father's gaze hardened as he continued staring at a spot in front of him. His silence was enough of an answer that you need.

"You… know these people. You know why they are doing this," you continued slowly. Your words seemed to have struck something in him, a look of pain overtaking him for a solid second before he finally reached for your hand.

“When the time comes, you will understand.”

“No, I don’t think I will. Why won’t you tell me everything?! I can help. You don’t have to carry this on your own.”

“Darling, you don’t understand. They are not like anything we have faced before. I’m doing this to protect all of you.”

You were quiet as your mind ran a million different things at the same time. You could see the cracks in him, the dawning realization shaking your core in a silent, terrifying way. There are a lot of moments in your life when you don't agree with your father, but you love the man, and he has always been the epitome of someone you can rely on ever since you were young. It doesn't matter how big the problem is, he will always come swooping down to save the day. As you look at him now across from you, shadows and light bouncing off his tired face, you felt your heart break as you realized one thing. He is afraid just as you are. Unlike you though, there was an air of resignation in him, as if he already knew the fate waiting for him.

“Then why… does it feel like you are saying goodbye.”

The way that he looked at you made something in you break. You shook your head slowly, and he cupped your face with his hand to keep yourself from trembling.

“You will understand it soon. For now, all I wish is for you to trust me. I know it might be too much to ask, but I hope you can give me this.”

You were terrified. In that moment, you felt like a little girl again, afraid to lose the only family that you have.

“Only if you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“You will not die.”

He paused for a bit before finally giving you a small smile.

“You have my word.”

You weren’t entirely convinced, but you took it, at least for now. Your father may not be perfect, but as much as he is flawed, he had always tried his best to never break his promises to you. You nodded now, your eyes falling to the piles of papers in his desk.

“What are we going to do now, Papa?”

His hand on your face lowered and your gaze landed on his ring as it caught light from the lamp on his desk. It was an ornate piece made with what looked like bronze, the simple band carved with intricate-looping patterns that are reminiscent of snowflakes. It was the only piece of jewelry that he had worn for as long as you could remember, on top of his wedding band that he never took off despite the death of your mother. For some reason, the ring looked different now as it shone against his skin. It looked regal in your father’s hand, yet at the same time... lonely.

When he spoke again, his voice was melancholy.

“When the time comes, you will know exactly what you have to do.”

******* “You know the view of the sunset looks best on the other side of the rooftop, right?”

Your head only slightly turned towards the sound of the voice that broke through your thoughts. Shrugging a little to yourself, you turned your gaze once more to the burning sky, eyes not really seeing the deepening colors there. You have no idea how long you’ve been sitting in the cold, but the freezing chill clinging to your skin gave you an idea of the hours you’ve lost track of. 

“I know. I didn’t really come here for the view though.”

Soft footfalls started moving towards you in answer. The next thing you felt was the warmth of a cardigan going over your shoulders as your visitor dropped to the spot next to you.

“That makes one of us. I do like the view here. Can I join?”

You raised a brow but grabbed the edges of the jacket to wrap the material tighter around you. “You’re already here. Will you leave if I ask you to?”

“Nope~”

The way you could almost hear his smirk in his voice couldn’t stop you from smiling a little. You gave a light-hearted sigh before finally turning to look at him.

“Why are you here, Haechan? Shouldn’t you be resting in your dorm? You just finished training with the others, right?”

“When I can finally have some alone time with you? You do realize how hard it is for some of us to get your time, right? Either you’re sulking on your own or you’re being hogged by my cousins—”

He wasn’t able to finish what he wanted to say as you raised your hand and knocked your fist on top of his head. Haechan jokingly flinched and massaged the spot you just hit, a smirk on his face.

“Did you just come here to harass me?”

“Did I lie? All I’m saying noona is that I’m a Lee too. What does Mark and Jeno have that I don’t have?”

You looked at him dead-panned before giving an answer.

“Height.”

The way his face dropped made your lips twitch. It was taking you everything not to dissolve into laughter with how hard he scowled at you.

“Okay, Princess, listen here. Mark-hyung is literally a centimeter taller than me. Don’t be mean.”

That was the last that you could take. Unable to help it, you finally gave in, your laughter bursting as you curled in on yourself to keep yourself from snorting. You could almost feel his frown deepening without even looking at him, the awareness of it only making you wheeze harder.

"I do know what I can do that those two dorks can't though," you heard him say quietly after he let you have your moment. When you finally gathered yourself again—cheeks pink from the cold and the laughing fit—he was looking at you softly. The sunset was kissing his skin, making him look as if he was glowing. The corners of his lips lifted as he angled his face a little to the side to watch you.

"I'm the only one who can make you laugh like that."

The way your heart jumped made you immediately forget what you thought was funny just seconds ago. Your relationship with Haechan has always been different… Mark is loyal, Jeno is secretive, Renjun is subtle, and Jaemin is passionate. Haechan has always been straightforward with what he wants, but unlike the others, his intensity can sometimes be impulsive, like an open flame ready to spark into a larger fire at any moment. It was in his nature—The Magician, as the master of chaos, is the one force in the Arcana that constantly straddles logic and madness, next to The Fool itself. He is designed to want you in a different intensity from how others feel ever since the Arcana chose him as its Master. 

It's because of this that you have always tried to hold back more when it comes to him. And so when he pushes, you pull back, not because you feel any less for him, but because the idea of you two meeting in the middle has always terrified you.

That, and you know that whatever feelings Haechan has for you at the moment might not be his own, but his Arcana craving for yours.

"You make me laugh just as hard as you can make me mad," you admitted finally, allowing your walls to break down just a little in front of him. Something flickered in his eyes though his smile remained.  

"You always run away from me, noona. Why?"

"You already know the answer to that."

"What I know is that you like me just as much as you like the others."

"I do. But do you feel the same about me? Or is it your Arcana telling you that you want me?"

Your question made him stop. You watched as the smile slowly bled from his face, his well-kept mask slipping for a moment. Haechan is a good master of his own emotions, but this time you knew you hit a chord. 

"I can do anything for you. Destroy worlds… and build new ones if you want me to,” he said, his voice serious. 

"I know. But that is not answering my question."

"Then what—"

"Will you feel the same if I am not the IL Matto, Haechan? Will you still like me if I’m just a regular human?"

The way his eyes hardened a little at the very thought of you living a life as a normal mortal admittedly made your heart break a little. You've always known this, of course… but hearing his answer now in his silence did not make it easier. When it seemed like he didn't know what to say next, you took it upon yourself to take his hand gently. He immediately wove his fingers with yours, his hold tight that it felt like he was giving you his reply through it alone. This time, it was you who smiled at him to try and give him comfort.

“I know how much you like me, but I can’t accept those feelings if you’re not even sure yourself that they’re your own. It’s unfair for me to give you an answer and take your free will from you, Haechan... I can’t do that, at least while you still can’t answer that question.” 

He looked so lost and in pain that for a moment, you could see the chubby-cheeked boy who had always ran after you when you were younger. It made you want to pull him in for comfort, but you settled on giving his hand a squeeze instead. 

"Hey. Don’t feel bad about it, okay? It’s fine. I like having you around, just like this. If you want to do anything for me though, then just promise me one thing."

He still seemed torn, but he managed to give an answer anyway.

"What is it?"

"Never stop making me laugh. You're right. You’re the only one who can do it."

******* Kun kept his eyes steady on the flickering flame of the candlelight in front of him. The room was quiet, but there was a different tinge of melancholy that was lingering in the air as the Headmaster sifted quietly through the papers in front of him. The ticking sound of the grandfather's clock in the room was deafening to him, like a death call waiting for its final drop. It was a reprieve when the door finally creaked open, revealing Taeyong on the other side of it. Kun waited for him to join his side, giving the man the liberty to break the suffocating silence.

"We just finished the final round of trainings, Sir. We’re gathering all the data before giving them to you."

"How are the kids?"

"They have improved a lot. They’re not at their full potential yet, but they can definitely control their abilities better now. They will be able to hold a fight… should the need arise."

"They don't have to. They only need to defend themselves,” the man said evenly. “Have you heard word from Doyoung?"

Taeyong paused before giving an answer. 

"Yes. He has confirmed that it is most likely Junho Lee who is working with Cypher."

The man's hand froze ever so slightly as he moved to pick up a paper from his desk. His face was calm, but there was something about the set of his lips that made Kun and Taeyong surreptitiously exchange glances.

"I appreciate you working with the Kim's, Taeyong. He's probably watching me very closely, so I needed you to do the job."

"Do you want us to get rid of him?" Kun's voice was quiet but steady when he asked the burning question. The Headmaster shook his head, his eyes hooded by the shadows from the flickering candle.

"No. Not yet."

Kun's jaw clenched ever so slightly at the answer. His morals tell him to take the man's word with no question—follow him with blind loyalty like he has always done—but he couldn't bring himself to do it now, not when everything seems to be crumbling around him. From the way that Taeyong was holding himself beside him, shoulders stiff and face set, he knows that the other Legacy shares the same stand.

"With all due respect, Sir. I would like to understand why," he finally decided to ask after gathering enough courage to speak again. The man peered at him from behind his glasses, curious, but not seemingly surprised by his question. He didn't know if it was just a trick of the light, but he thought he saw the shadow of a smile on the other's lips before he finally moved to cross his hands together.

"You and Taeyong always had the right to ask. The pair of you just do not give yourselves the full credit you are due."

For a second, Kun felt oddly like a child being gently reprimanded by a parent. Gathering himself again, he decided to press more to get answers.

"We do not understand why you're protecting Junho. He betrayed you. He betrayed all of us."

"I am not protecting him. I am protecting the Family… From him."

The look of silent confusion from him and Taeyong was not lost on the Headmaster. The man, on the other hand, seemed set and collected as always.

"Cypher is already a formidable enemy on their own. They will wage war on us soon, there is no doubt about it. Going after Junho now will only split the Family more—and we are currently at a disadvantage of not knowing who else within our network has decided to side with him. If he finds out that we know, we'll just be pushing ourselves in a corner. The Lee's have resources, and having those used against us is the last thing we need."

"So we will just let him do whatever, then?" Taeyong asked this time.

"No. When the time comes… And you will know when—you will have to take him down. Even his own son should he decide to betray my daughter."

The way the man said that so evenly without batting an eye made Kun and Taeyong's blood run cold. The Headmaster is a kind, rational man that oftentimes, people forget how cunning and ruthless he can be in his own ways.

"For now, I want to keep him alive. After all… He might still become useful in the future."

Both men stared at him, though none decided to speak up this time. Wordlessly, he picked up a thick brown envelope from his table and offered it to the two. Kun and Taeyong looked at each other before the former took it silently from his hands.

"When that time comes, my daughter will be the first person to know what best to do with him," the Headmaster continued as he leaned back on his chair. "Just the same as she will know what to do next once things start to unfold. When the moment calls for it, give her that envelope. It will help her."

Kun's fingers tightened on the edges of the bundle he was holding. There was a heavy feeling that had started to weigh on his stomach, similar to the one he had when the man talked to him first after his quick absence.

"Are you leaving, Sir?"

A shadow of something quickly glossed over the man's expression. It was so brief, but it was enough to give Taeyong and Kun the answer they hoped they wouldn't have to hear ever.

"There are things that only I can do in this fight. So yes… I would have to leave my daughter. For a while," he said, his eyes moving from one young man to the next. Maybe it was the darkness and the shadows dancing in the room, but in that moment, the Headmaster saw in the pair two other young men who stood shoulder to shoulder in this room once, many decades ago, promising their allegiance to the Arcana. The memory made his chest constrict with a mix of emotions—pain… longing… and sadness for what was and what will never be again.

He let the memories linger for a few more seconds before finally giving the two a small smile.

"I know I have already asked for too much from the both of you, but if I can have one last request… I hope you two can put her and the Family's best interests at heart while I am away."

"Consider it my last request as IL Giudizio."

******* Your footsteps echoed softly in the hallways as you made your way back to your room. Tucked loosely by your side are a couple of hardbounds, titles you decided to sneak out of the library in this unholy hour because you were already out of reading material. It's been weeks since most of the student body have been sent back to their homes, leaving Rosewood silent and vacant. Since then, you’ve tried to take comfort in the stillness surrounding you by keeping mostly to yourself and out of everyone's way.

You have already turned the last corner to your room when your phone suddenly vibrated in your jeans pocket. By the time you managed to pull it out and check your messages, you were already at your door, one hand wrapping around the knob while you tried to open the message notification. You have barely caught Mark's name on your screen when a gasp was suddenly torn from you as someone grabbed you by the arm, the motion causing the books you were holding to tumble to the floor. Your eyes grew wide as your back made contact against the wood, your elbow grazing the cold knob of your door as you were pushed against it. Your first thought was that you were being attacked, but a different kind of shock gripped you when you realized what exactly was happening.

You didn't really need to see him to know whose lips were pressed against you the next second. Even in your confusion, your hands automatically gripped the front of his shirt as he held you close to him. He was holding you so tightly that it took you a moment to guide his face back so you could see him better. Dark eyes met yours, hooded by his windswept, messy hair as you searched his face. The warmth of his breath fanned your lips and his fingers only dug deeper on your hip bones as if he was afraid that you will push him away. 

"Jeno, what—"

"I need you. Now."

Four words. That was all it took for you to pause and for your heart to stop in your chest. You held his gaze for a second longer before grabbing his hand the same time he reached out to turn the knob behind you. Wordlessy, you pulled him in, leaving nothing but the sound of your door closing in the empty hallway.

*******

A/N: This took a while because I simply could not put my thoughts into words properly. Enjoy!

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