#lmfao not me screaming into oblivion

[cyberebel]

We need MORE assassin-turned-hero female tropes that turn against the very company that made them who they became, PLEASE!! PLEASE DON’T LET THIS TROPE DIE!!! 😭😭💔💔

[partycatty]

dark star!johnny cage > against the world

what it's like dating the evil version of hollywood's golden boy. it's not all fun and games, even if that's how he sees it

warnings: lowkey abusive relationship like just straight up. yandere. lil smutty but nothing horrifically graphic.

notes: listened to "wrap me in plastic" and "watch me work" while writing LMFAO also please god the coat stays ON ‼️‼️‼️‼️ hes so scrummy i need him biblically

masterlist <3

part 2* / part 3* / part 4* / part 5* / part 6*

•first of all, dark star!johnny is so incredibly emotionally immature. he's a whiny bastard fr. hell hath no fury like a white man that's in the wrong during an argument with his girlfriend

•"baaaabe what's wrong?? it was just a joke!" after he says you're a 6/10 compared to a model on his phone. ZERO awareness.

•WALL PUNCHER. IM JUST BEING HONEST. your beautiful pale pink walls have so many shoulder-height white patches from you having to fix the wall every time his water has an inadequate amount of cucumber slices.

•he's got the same upbringing as the better johnny, shitty dad and dead mom. he just never really knew how to cope with it. equally as famous as his counterpart, he prefers throwing punches in action flicks. he's just somehow more of a dick about it.

•pampered to holy hell between shots, all relaxed in his chair with his name embroidered on it while one woman tends to his makeup, another to his hair, a third feeding him water. it's how he wants it to be, he needs to be perfect. he is perfect.

•spends like two hours getting ready, most of the time is spent on his hair. you tell him it'd be more efficient to trim it down a couple inches but he likes the way it flops over. you also like the way it falls in front of his face during his stunts. he's just so effortlessly sexy.

•uses his height and physique to his advantage. he loves backing you into corners and looming above you menacingly to watch you squirm, flustered. his large sunglasses reflect your pathetic little face.

•now with you, he loves to show you off, but not enough for you to steal the spotlight. you're his favorite little accessory that hangs off his arm. he chooses your outfits when you make public appearances. INSISTS on matching all the time. misty blue dress with gold jewelry to match his obnoxiously large coat.

•the good johnny plays things up for the camera and saves the sweetness for behind closed doors. dark star!johnny doesn't know when to turn off "camera mode." bro will not be sweet with you unless it gets him brownie points after he fucks up.

•he's so unfair. women fawn over him constantly and he smiles all smugly and leans into their touches. but if a man so much as looks at you for more than a couple seconds, he's beating the guy in moments.

•hates it when you find joy in other people. he will constantly fill you with thoughts that everyone will leave you one day for one reason or another, and that you should feel lucky that a world famous actor wants you.

•will make you turn against people you hold dear, he cuts them out of your life so they can't influence you like he does. this man is a smooth talker and hardcore manipulator that'll leave you anxious when you talk to anyone but him. he has you thinking everyone's out to get you.

•"come on baby, you really think they'd love you like i do? don't be delusional. it's just you and me against the world, you got it?"

•you guys have had so many public scandals, you're the main source of income for the TMZ employees.

•sex tape here, public screaming match there

•speaking of which this dude FUCKS. HARD. :3

•johnny will literally pound you into oblivion whenever he pleases. he prefers doggystyle so he can use your hair as leverage. sometimes he reaches forward and holds your jaw, chest pressed against your back as he mercilessly fucks you. he totally gets himself off on your pathetic moans.

•records it every time. partially to jerk off to later, partially as leverage against you.

•"you like that?" he'll ask in that low growl, somehow hitting even deeper. "nobody can fuck you like i do. so don't even fucking think about leaving - ngh -"

•after an argument, you'll find gorgeous purses or necklaces on your shared vanity. not because he's sorry, but because he knows you'll forget about how annoying he can be when he shells out a couple thousand on a gift for you.

•you could honestly probably do better, but who's gonna say no to johnny cage?

[derww]

DAY 20: BLOSSOM

One day Poafa just said "Lmfao goodbye fucking losers" and left his home forever. "Stop, wait, it'll kill you, you are not a fucking plant", they said to him at last and he just laughed and flipped them off.

He knew he was smarter than them and he always was but the first week almost made him lose the faith. In overworld, a dimension away from his usual food, he felt like he was gonna die. Netherrack tasted fucking horrible but at least it sustained his life. There wasn't a part of his body that didn't hurt, and he had to force himself just to walk a couple of steps.

He gets a terrible fever, and he hides at a high place, detached enough not to be afraid of the monsters but detached too much for him to be able to go find water or food. Not that it would have helped him, of course. As a demon, an ultimate survival machine, he could start eating literal dirt right now and eventually stop throwing up. For the sake of calming his falling morale, he eats a few berries from a small bush three steps from his place. They turn out to be very sour. He wonders if they are poisonous. He spends another half day in semi-oblivion. He's waiting.

His heart seems to stop three times. At some point, his whole body goes numb. Then, everything starts burning. He doesn't have the strength to do anything and the pain is terrifying. It's worse than anything else he's ever been through. Even that doesn't make him change his mind.

He dies. He dies. He dies. He dies. And then the dawn comes.

Like, literally. When he actually comes to the senses, a sun is already partially up. His body is still in agony, but he can finally think again. Getting up and looking around, he notices how the trees are gradually colored with light from the tops to the bottom, how the morning birds sing their silly songs, and how the wind swirls between the peaks of the mountains. It was somewhat new for him. None of this existed in the nether, and in his outings to the overworld he never paid attention to the little things, only to the whole picture.

For some time he's just here. Everything in his body screams, but he feels new. And, with the time, he thinks like he can stand on his legs again. And he tries and... He can.

It's still not quite good. It's fucking painful. But he can do it. His body moves. It receives energy for existence. It has adapted. He giggles.

– Fuck you, dickheads! – he laughs. – If I want to photosynthesize, then I fucking will! None of you bitches can tell me what the fuck I can and can't do!

When he finally gains enough strength and goes down, he notices on the surface of the pusdle: his eyes, which were plain black before, took on a bluish tinge. Fucking great, he thinks. I will. I don't know. Get something in the color of it. Or something. I don't fucking know.

He, in fact, doesn't know a lot of things right now. But he knows that he, as always, is right. And that's kinda cool.

[kingdom0fcards]

hear me out on this one: nicholas gets to watch noah record vocals in the studio. shirtless >:)

Yes oh my god

I'm gonna b nsfw so like I'm putting it under the cut okay

but I write gay porn what do u expect from something like THIS (/pospos)

Nick straight up can not control himself bc of how fine this fucking man is like if he could he would fuck him while he's recording vocals fr

And after Noah finishes for the day Nicholas literally pounds him into oblivion bc of how horny he got just from seeing him do vocals shirtless. I mean like recording vocals with a shirt on his hot, but shirtless? Nick gets to properly see the way Noah's chest rises and falls and all the muscles in his upper half move as he belts out screams and such

Its pound town for mr nowah sebbe everytime he does his vocals shirtless around Nicholas. Sometimes he does it on purpose just to get fucked and Nicholas doesn't mind it either, even tho he def knows it's on purpose sometimes LMFAO

[nattyontherun]

I just read all ur naruto fics and I feel insane.

Me about fictional characters: they get me.

I absolutely refuse to be emo in someone ask box but screams at you so much.

“How much do you lose to mourning, when what you lose is everything you’ve ever had? How can you acknowledge yourself, when all you have left to acknowledge is the you who never grew past your hurt? // Existence was ruination, to Sasuke. Existence was the slow descent into insanity.” I’m literally rolling around on the floor thrashing around. Hearth fire (and the rest of the series) WRECKED ME by the way if you even CARE. Me when the parallels in a fic to my life literally grab my by the throat and stab me but also wrap me in a warm fuzzy blanket and pat my head. Literally sent me deep into a very contemplative mood after reading it.

“… would have to live on because if not him, who?” “…because mourning, in its own way, is a form of safekeeping.” Hello I have died.

Also I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense but when I went to ur ao3 profile and read u have a psych degree I was like. That makes so much sense lmFAO.

Also also on a slightly more serious note, well it’s not that serious tbh, but I also do be dissociating and the way you described it was idk it felt weirdly good to read. I used to lose days at a time. I’m not as bad now but I’ll still lose hours here and there. I am not one to externalise things so I don’t have the capacity to describe things to people when asked but we’re I to try very hard it would probably be similar to how you wrote sasukes experience.

Oh my god tho. Oblivion. YOUR MIND IS SO POWERFUL. Your mind is literally so so so powerful. I’m shaking.

Anyway maligayang pasko at mag ingat ka 🫶🏻

This just made my holidays! First of all thanks??? I'm as surprised as you are that HF has been so monumental for me????

I've been told on a multitude of occasions that I have the unfortunate(?) habit of putting a lot of myself in fics. What I explore--thematically at the very least--is often just me chasing after the worms that haunt me in my dreams, yk? It's not like I'm a perpetually sad or moody person--quite the opposite really--but if I don't contemplate stuff I go through at least a little bit, where would that leave me? As uncomfy as it is, it's better to know yourself too much than not at all.

But YEAH! HF! Mindboggly amounts of woah topped by a surprising amount of hope? Sometimes I think I made it too melodramatic and "floaty" for lack of a better word and then I get comments like yours and I start rethinking my spirally thoughts. I just have so many OPINIONS about how canon treated everyone, but mainly Sasuke. If they weren't gonna let him die, by god give him the justice he so deserves?? He has like zero closure and an overwhelming brother complex and all canon does to fix that is say "revenge bad, here walk around some" FAWK no????

Anyways I have a psych degree! I don't use it for much rn but it's glossy and makes me feel good about myself sometimes! I like to think I'm not so obvious about it but I also feel like I always talk about it to anyone everytime so bvcedjsnj where was I going with my reply?

Right. Right! I meant to say that, as per the dissociation thing--far be it for me to claim I know anything about it beyond what I've read in a couple journals but I do tend to 'lose time" so to speak, myself? When I'm stressed or depressed or anxious or some horrid conglomeration of those three horrid things lmao. It's NOT fun, and I don't wish it on anyone, and I hope, if you can, you can speak to someone about it because suffering, in whatever way, however much, doesn't have to be a thing we just settle with yk? Idk. I wrote HF with this thought in mind that just because things can seem absolutely ass over tits at any moment doesn't mean it's always gonna be like that. I love the struggle story, I love ANGST--writing it, reading it--but there's something so devastating and inspirational about wanting to stand back up after stumbling. Human tenacity and resilience will always be infinitely more heartrending than sorrow itself or whatever philosophical way you can spin it...

I feel like I just lost the thread of my response all over again. I'm sorry! It's nearing 3am, I just got off shift, and I'm in one of those moods again... just... I care very deeply about people as a concept, and the way we mold ourselves around each other's lives until every one of our struggles is an extension of our community, which is an extension of our history and so on. I'm not super good about being in the /now/, the details of general existence aren't my best friends. But if characters get to act however the fuck they want to act, if they can build themselves back up from nothing, explore themselves in ways you or I never could, maybe never is just a qualifier we give ourselves to excuse our inflexibility and stagnation?

Something, something, the ultimate goal of the human experience will always be Self Actualization.

Anyways Anon, sorry about all the rambly philosophizing, I've probably scared you off now fbvehcskffbcrehd but you made my whole month!! Maligayang Pasko sa inyo po!!! Ingat ka lagi!!!!!!! And to whoever even bothers to read all this rambling,,,, in English: Merry Christmas and take care always, Mabuhay!

[ashlingnarcos]

.

scrumptious gif choices

WHAT A GOOD OPENING IMAGE. Really sets the tone, plus it's a hilarious image while being impressive at the same time…characterizes Mayo too…ooh skill baby!

"by mistake" ooh they fuckin "It never pays to fall for a family man, isn’t that what the girls say? " I WAS RIGHT

Or was he just at sea like always? love that

But Pancho was good people. He always liked Pancho. Shit, who didn’t like Pancho. a) aww b) clow— sniper takes me out

But he supposed that’s what happened when you let an overgrown manchild, dressed head-to-toe in Versace, stick his gold-dipped cuerno de chiva against the decorator’s temple and threaten to blow them away into semi-automatic oblivion, just for a discount on silk drapes from Rome or wherever-the-fuck. SCREAMING. God this is so colorful and fun and funny…and honestly thru Mayo's eyes it's like these guys are living in trump tower lmfao

It felt quite the honor just to see the man laugh. He got the feeling Mín didn’t laugh much. oh so you been rotisserie-rotissserieing these en. i see. I SEE. I SEE THE VISION.

"the image etch-A-sketched away" fucking love this metaphor

He used to think, what a strange little something you are, Benjamín Arellano Félix, the way one would think fondly of a pet they had growing up. He found himself wishing now that Mín felt just a pet to him. this is super Mayo, he always has this vaguely supercilious vibe which may also be part of his detchment…mm it's giving texture it's giving this mans fucking weird it's giving condescension in an in character type a way

In truth, he didn’t much like it either. But he hadn’t figured out if it was just because she was a woman or because of the kind of woman she was. He never had much patience for anyone with a chip on their shoulder. Inchresting…inchresting.

Though he’d certainly made an exception for Mín who’d carted around a chip so heavy, it was a wonder he never tipped over. LOL. That's the world of these guys tho

Even in his blackest moments, twisting his knife in someone’s gut or getting ready to light them on fire, he couldn’t much find a reason not to be at least cordial. This is so funny but also insanely effective at making him seem a bit Strange…and making the overall point that manners, or at least his idea of manners, really mean nothing and they're all part of weird custom/ego trip stuff. who cares about being cordial if ur killing a guy asdf;lkdsafds

Money in shrimping . SCREAMING I mean I totally believe he'd say it i just. Ooh money in shrimping is just such a funny phrase yk

Mayo looking after Món is such a thing to make Mín into him lbr

They never stood as close as they’d wanted to. They never talked for as long as they wanted to. It was for the best. we love sentence rhythm babey! something about it

KNUCKLE KISSES??????

oh shit fuck wife. you so right. Oh min baby don't do it. he's so hot tho. sobbing

yeah let's go with benjamayo hahahaha <3333 give us more benjamayo soon ??? or anytime at all df <33333

would you believe that i sniper takes me out anyways yeah! love benjamayo and the way you executed it. love how REAL Mayo seems, his lil quirks and the way he sees the world, darkness and strangeness and also just him being a lil guy i wanna put in a bug jar

| Tu cómplice |

⁂

Pairing: Ismael “El Mayo” Zambada x Benjamín Arellano Félix

For @narcosfandomdiscord NarcOctober Fanworks collection [October 1 - Day of Firsts]

Word count: ≈ 2.8K

TWs: Canon-consistent violence? Much angst but like in the supes casual way I imagine Mayo does..?

Just the two of them seated at the wrought iron table in the backyard, up till dawn, smoking and talking. It felt quite the honor just to see the man laugh. Ngl guys, this is Basically just Mayo internally but actively pining for Mín? for like kinda no reason?? while he’s negotiating with Dina because Mín’s gone into hiding after the assassination of Cardinal Juan Posadas Ocampo. Idk this is literally just 3k words of nonsense and insanity. It’s legitimately one of the most aimless and ooc things I’ve ever written sksks but hey!! it exists now..?

⁂

The ornate, gilded door knocker felt heavy between his fingertips as he rapped a few times and waited, stubbing out his cigarette in the open mouth of one of the lion statues placed on either side of the stairway. He chuckled to himself. If it wasn’t an ashtray before, it was one now. To him it looked like one anyway. The mansion’s pretentious decor always screamed “New Money” to him, no matter how hard the Arellanos tried to bury Sinaloa in their past.

By his count, Mayo had only ever been to Arellano house three times. Once by invitation, another by accident, and a third - the last - by mistake. A mistake he couldn’t muster the good sense to regret no matter how hard he tried.

It never pays to fall for a family man, isn’t that what the girls say? Certainly the ones he’d shared a few fleeting nights with between the sheets, a wad of folded bills on the nightstand, couple packs of cigarettes, and some pillow talk that always told some tale of woe about falling for a family man. But is that what happened? Had he fallen? Or was he just at sea like always? Either way, it made for no less than an interesting ride.

The relief-distorted disappointment when it was Pancho who answered the door should’ve told him something, even if he didn’t care to pay it much mind just now. A matter for tomorrow. Except that’s what he’d told himself the whole time. Shit, that’s how he got into this mess. Surely there’d come a point when tomorrow was today, no?

Pancho smiled, “Qué húbole, compa?” and pulled Mayo in, clapping his back twice in a way that was warm and sincere as much as it was overwhelming. But Pancho was good people. He always liked Pancho. Shit, who didn’t like Pancho.

“Nada mucho, nada más,” Mayo winked, tipping his hat as he crossed the threshold into the foyer of the Arellano mansion.

He smirked to himself at the same private joke he had every time he’d set foot in this house: the place’s grandiosity might be as intimidating as it was meant to be if it weren’t so fucking cartoonish. But he supposed that’s what happened when you let an overgrown manchild, dressed head-to-toe in Versace, stick his gold-dipped cuerno de chiva against the decorator’s temple and threaten to blow them away into semi-automatic oblivion, just for a discount on silk drapes from Rome or wherever-the-fuck.

Mayo's eyes stung a bit, hit with the phantom smell of the cigar smoke that came tumbling out of Benjamín’s mouth when he’d laughed himself nearly to tears telling Mayo that story. It'd been just the two of them seated at the wrought iron table in the backyard, up 'til dawn, smoking and talking. It felt quite the honor just to see the man laugh. He got the feeling Mín didn’t laugh much. That was the second time Mayo had been here.

He shook his head, the image etch-A-sketched away like nothing and followed Pancho through the foyer to the dining room and then the living room. Or rather, one of the living rooms. The house smelled so strongly of floral-scented candles and potpourri, he worried he might get a headache sitting in here for too long. They must’ve just had the place cleaned. It bothered him that he even noticed and it especially bothered him why. That it was because there was no hint of that familiar, faint musk that should’ve been there, expensive without trying too hard, that seemed to trail Mín along with a perpetual cloud of neurotic discontent, everywhere he went.

Even from the beginning Mayo liked that about him. The discontent he wore right on his sleeve. He’d noted it when they’d first met at some meat market in Mazátlan, right around the time he first linked up with the Sinaloa crew, just before they arrested Miguel and the whole Federation got dissolved. Just in Mín's discontent, his raw, kinetic ambition, Mayo saw something of himself, even if the two fo them strove for very different things. He used to think, what a strange little something you are, Benjamín Arellano Félix, the way one would think fondly of a pet they had growing up. He found himself wishing now that Mín felt just a pet to him.

But they belonged to each other in a new way now. Darker, tenuous, and confounding in just exactly how straightforward it was. No implications, no questions to be asked. It said nothing about either of them except that they belonged, if only for and evening. Or the amount of time it takes to smoke a full Montecristo and down a stiff drink of scotch.

He turned to the fish tank and stared at his warped reflection, saying to no one in particular, “Things are changing real fast, huh? The army in Tijuana fucking shit up. Coming after your family, no less. Now Benjamín’s gone. Fucking mess, huh?”

He felt it coming. This meeting. Depending on the outcome, it might signify a breaking point and he’d have to choose between what is and what should never be. The Arellanos got caught flying far too close to the sun and they knew it now. (And everyone wondered why he preferred boats.) It’s what set Mín on the lam, no telling how long he would be out there. Floating around wherever he was. Away.

Shaking his head, “Just hoping it all blows over and Benjamín can come back home,” Pancho spilled a glass of some brown liquor, as he set it down on the beverage cart in front of Mayo.

Amused, Mayo tried mopping it with only his fingers until he gave up, taking a sip. There was still plenty to drink, since Pancho had filled it nearly to the brim, almost as high as his own. Suddenly, it made sense why Pancho wasn’t in charge of the family business despite being the oldest. Hombre couldn’t bluff for shit.

Mayo took the seat by the beverage cart, as Pancho practically melted back onto the giant couch across from him. Doing his best to affect it, almost like an afterthought, Mayo leaned back in the chair and said, “Send him my best, yeah?” He took out a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his pockets, giving them a little jiggle and raising his eyebrows.

Pancho got what he was asking but Dina startled him with an answer before Pancho got the chance. She spoke from behind them, standing at a large window, “Of course, please. Make yourself at home.” She waved her own lit cigarette as if to hammer the point home. “I do it in here all the time. Drives mamá mad. The smell gets in the drapes, she says.”

How long had she been standing there? Her beige suit blended so well with the drapes she spoke about with such indifference. Mayo half wondered if it was some kind of business tactic, camouflaging with the furniture. Better to hear all chisme whispered in these halls by house staff or other scheming subordinates a quien no le gustaba tener una jefa. In truth, he didn’t much like it either. But he hadn’t figured out if it was just because she was a woman or because of the kind of woman she was. He never had much patience for anyone with a chip on their shoulder.

Though he’d certainly made an exception for Mín who’d carted around a chip so heavy, it was a wonder he never tipped over. So, maybe it was the woman thing. Did it much matter? Not really cuando sabía que ella había planeado quitarle sus huevos. All these months later, and that cool twenty mil still burned a hole in their coffers and there was no making eyes at Dina to make it all go away, least of all when they were hurting for the cash. Not that he wouldn’t try. That is after all how he and Benjamín started off doing ... Well, whatever the fuck they did.

He thought of Dina’s wedding, how light and alive, self-assured Benjamín was. In his element. A new look he wore so well that, in Mayo’s estimation, he didn’t get to enjoy for long enough. Now look where they all were.

“So look, Pancho,” he brushed Dina off because if her goal was to blend in with it, well, he was happy to treat her like the furniture. “Amado’s expanded operations. Taken over the port in Peñasco, made it hard for my boats to unload. I was hoping to redirect them through San Ysidro, and not pass them through Tijuana.”

“That would put all your business in our plaza, wouldn’t it?”

The smirk of a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar broke across Mayo's face and he dragged on his cigarette, nodding in the affirmative.

“And yet, you refuse to join our organization?”

He offered the answer that seemed to satisfy anyone who challenged his go-it-alone approach. It satisfied Mín well enough when he'd approached Mayo at the wedding. “Es qué, a mí me gusta ser mi propio patrón.”

Nothing less than the truth. In an industry of professional con artists, backstabbers, hustlers, and murderers, maybe like her brother, she’d appreciate it.

“Yes, so you’ve said.” She didn’t.

And she still hadn’t turned around to face them. For people so concerned with blending into high society, the Arellanos weren’t the most well-mannered. Mayo’s working-class manner of dress might, to the untrained eye, indicate that manners weren’t something he cared about. But he did. Even in his blackest moments, twisting his knife in someone’s gut or getting ready to light them on fire, he couldn’t much find a reason not to be at least cordial.

Fighting for a lifeline, he glanced at Pancho who almost looked like he was trying to become one with the couch, drink limp in his hand, as he stared at the All-Knowing Queen in white.

She finally turned to grace them with her full attention, gliding over and resting her hands on the back of the empty couch next to him. “You owe us twenty million dollars. What’s your plan to repay us?”

Back in the days when Miguel held court and favored the Sinaloa faction at the expense of his own family, dicking the Arellanos around as though the petulant kids he’d watched grow up would remain petulant kids forever, Mayo remembered thinking that Mín’s attempts at diplomacy weren’t well-earned by their uncle. And he’d told Mín as much. Even Dina agreed at the time.

But all these years later, with Dina the sharp tip of the lethal spear that was now the Arellano Félix Organization, Mayo wondered if they couldn’t do with some of Benjamín’s trademark diplomacy. Mín liked people. He knew how to talk to them. Dina was trickier to deal with. Though savvy like her brother, she was nothing but prickly, sharp edges. Good for dealing what needed to be dealt to their enemies. Not much for making friends.

Mayo tried his hand at diplomacy, “Money in shrimping, eh … moves slower than I’d like,” but ire crept in anyway when the absence of his— his— of Benjamín was screaming at him. “Benjamín understands that. I pay as it comes.”

Understands, yes. Present tense. He was gone, not dead and even with Dina in charge, he still must’ve been keeping tabs from somewhere. She couldn’t have the final word here. Not really.

Unwilling to follow his lead in diplomacy, she shot back. “How much have you got?”

“Here with me?” Now he was annoyed.

And that was met with a haughty huff from her, along with a scorn-filled smirk, so acrid and bitter he nearly tasted it in the air between them. She had him where she wanted him and it twisted his gut, knowing where this was about to go.

“You aren’t moving anything through this plaza until the tax is paid.”

It was over already and he knew it. That didn’t stop him from trying one final time, “Qué dice, Pancho? Esa es la última palabra de la familia?” like it might speak Benjamín into their living room.

Of course, when it didn’t work, the thought of Mín, knowing what he’d have to resort to next, only served to make his stomach churn more. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. What’s that thing they say about purple elephants? Because before the first don’t, the image of Benjamín’s gentle brown eyes in the moonlit backyard, full of that kinetic ambition, not for success but for something else —belonging— flooded Mayo. The third time he’d been here.

᪣

It had only been a few months since the wedding. A celebration at Roxanne’s gone awry and he’d had to bring Ramón home before he tore the club apart, going after Chapo for some snide comment about what they all knew happened to Rayo. The bad blood between the Arellanos and the Sinaloa crew was so long standing without erupting into an all-out war, it seemed to make sense at the time to at least attempt to avoid tipping it over the edge. In hindsight, the whole shitshow was gripped with such inevitability, it seemed more like going against the will of the gods, now that he thought about it. But you only know what you know when you know it. So, he done the sensible thing, intervened before things got ugly, agreeing against his better judgment to remove Ramón from the equation, by driving the rowdy motherfucker home while he sat in the passenger's seat of his pickup, three sheets to the wind, sprawled out, passed out, and snoring. Despite the fact he’d had no love para el pinshe huevón, there was love in his heart somewhere. And so it was easy to say, “yes” after shucking Ramón off his shoulder onto one of their house staff's, when Mín offered him a cigar and a drink. An opportunity for another of their little chats that they’d come to enjoy whenever they crossed paths. Though Mayo had noticed, in the distinct lack of one, every one of those times happened to be under the unconscious supervision of a crowd. So that when Benjamín complimented him on his business savvy, and said things like, “Fuck, man. You’re better than that,” the grin that spread across his face never got as wide as it wanted to be. They never stood as close as they’d wanted to. They never talked for as long as they wanted to. It was for the best. Because without the safety net of nosy onlookers, talking about life, growing up in Sinaloa, the incessant hustle, the never ending grind to the top, commiserating over the absurdity of this business they’d both come up in, ambition, what all of it even meant? Could they do something else? Should they do something else? Was it really worth it?— they both folded like a pair of cheap suits. And so he didn’t remove it, when Mín’s hand found itself on top of his. The contrast of how smooth, almost manicured it was compared his own, weather-worn, brought to light disparities that extended far beyond the physical and yet didn’t make a bit of difference. The words tumbled from Mín’s lips suddenly. “You know ... I do love my wife.” And that trademark cloud of anxiety that made him think too much came swept over them with a fury. Not long for this world, Mayo waved it away. “I know you do.” “You do?” It was almost funny. Despite the evident affinity they shared in these little chats, Mín’s shock reminded him just how little they really knew each other. How much of a gamble he’d just taken. “You know that I know that this,” Mayo lifted their hands, fingers interlaced together, and placed his lips against one of Mín’s knuckles, “and that,” then bobbed his head toward the house, “can be different but true, at the same time.”

᪣

He sighed and swallowed the memory hard.

“‘Ta bueno, ‘ta bueno,” nodding vigorously because he saw the whole fucking thing coming before he’d set foot in the house. Standing up and putting his hat back on, he muttered cooly, “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.”

Striding toward the fish tank, he thought of Mín again and turned back around. He met Dina’s eyes in a challenge, you did this but simply tipped his hat, “Patrona,” a gesture of faux respect she was undoubtedly smart enough and petty enough to see for what it was.

On his way out of the house, he was already hard at work, scouring his brain. What was the last number that he had for Amado? Fuck, that shit was months ago. He'd probably have a new one. Oh, well. It'd be worth it. Or ... would it? Well frankly, if he was really honest with himself, he'd probably stopped giving a shit the second the words, "make yourself at home" came out of her mouth.

Stepping out into the midday sun at the top of the steps leading down to the driveway, he caught the carcass of his cigarette laying in the lion's mouth out of the corner of his eye.

Dina would regret this and probably never even know why.

But Benjamín would.

En ese mundo de complicidades y traiciones, un día tu mejor enemigo es tu cómplice y al otro se convierte en tu peor enemigo.

═

taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @drabbles-mc

[hyuuckly]

f i r s t t i m e w/ t h e m

— mark and 00’ dream line x fem!reader

— 1.7k words

— smut

warnings: dom!idols, overstimulation, squirting throatfucking, pet names, cockwarming, unprotected sex, mutual masturbation, pussy slapping, spitting

‹ mark lee ›

i think mark would be the type to ask you if you’re okay with it every other minute because he wouldn’t wanna do anything that’ll hurt you or make you uncomfortable. but once you reassure him for the hundredth time that you’re completely okay with anything he does, he won’t hold back. after asking seven times (at least), and he gets that sure and confident look of yours, oh boy, he will not hold back. definitely the type to slap and grab your ass constantly while he’s thrusting into you. his pace would be slow and steady at first but once you adjust to his size, he’ll snap harder. i think he’d keep his pace slow but the power of his thrust would literally knock you out. i also think he’d be vocal, but moaning and grunting wise. not much talking from him during your first time together because he’s too nervous to come up with sentences. mark would pin your hands above your head when you reach over to try and rub your clit because he wants you to come from only his cock. and he succeeds. he’d also be the type to lick your neck when he sees you sweating. he’d whisper pet names such as baby, princess, babygirl, and kitten into your ear but he’d sound so desperate and fucked out when doing so. he’d want to cum in you if you were okay with it, and he loves to overstimulate you both so he’d continue fucking into you. he’d make sure you cum on his cock twice before pulling out of you. he’d lick the cum out of your pussy but very quickly so you don’t cum again and pass out lmao. overall, mark would definitely make sure you’re completely comfortable with doing it and will literally fuck your brains out steadily the second you give him the green light.

‹ huang renjun ›

ugh renjun would be so gentle with you. i don’t see much foreplay for the first time having sex with him, though. just a lot of groping and touching and feeling your entire body up. he’d be the type to place kisses all over your chest, neck, stomach, face, and thighs while groping your breast and ass. small whispers of praises too, to make sure you feel beautiful. he would also jack himself off while he sucks on your nipples, and he’d make you touch yourself so you guys just watch each other pleasure yourselves. at one point, he’ll just stop whatever he’s doing and admire your body sprawled on the bed, looking so helplessly and desperate for his cock. his dick would jump at the view of your glistening pussy, so ready for him. he’d go slow when entering you, i think he’d tease you for being so tight. “god, darling, so snug around me. hmm let me ruin you.” yeah, he screams corruption kink to me. he would keep a slow pace the whole time but his thrusts are so fucking deep. he’d kiss and suck your tongue while fucking you too. he would bite your collarbones and lick them right after to ease the sting. his moans would sound like whimpers, i think. the look on his face would be so dominant and dark but the noises that escape him would sound broken. renjun is also the type to lightly choke you for the first time, but his grip will gradually tighten overtime. he makes sure you cum first, then he finishes on your bare stomach then picks up his cum with his fingers and makes you lick them clean. ideally, he’d want to decorated your face with his cum or finish in your mouth, but he saves that for when you feel more comfortable.

‹ lee jeno ›

you cannot tell me that jeno is not an ass person. this man would literally go crazy when he sees your bare ass for the first time. he’d make you lay on your stomach on his lap so he could have the perfect view. i think the first time with jeno would be so so so touchy and intense. he’d give you light spanks because he loves to see the way your ass jiggles. he’d also slightly thrust up into you when your laying down on lap unconsciously because he’s just that horny. he’d also finger you in this position, making sure you cum at least two times before taking his monstrous cock (bc we all know he’s packing). he’d coo at you so much, clicking his tongue every time you jolt from the sensitivity. once he thinks your ready, he’d waste no time being inside of you. so no blowjob for him, yet. he’d carry your body so you could lay on your back, and he’s definitely the type to take his dick and tease your clit with it, spreading your juices all around. god, jeno would be ruthless. immediately starts with a rough pace, not fast, but rough. reaches your g-stop with no problem. he would grab your hair and make you maintain eye contact with him while he’s fucking you up and would spit in your mouth then kiss you messily right after. he would make you cum with his dick then he’d pull out but would aim his cum on your clit and slit then spreads it around your pussy with his tip. then he’d lick you clean, making you cum for the fourth time!

‹ lee donghyuck ›

this dude would be such an annoying ass tease! hyuck would mockingly praise you and make cooing noises every time you’d whine when he’d purposely miss your clit when fingering you. this mf would not shut his mouth, he’d be so good at dirty talk ugh (his gemini popping off). he’d be the type to call you his cumslut, cockslut, whore, yeah you get the point. you’d be such a pillow princess with him lmfao. he’d eat you out so well, and would literally not stop eating you out until you yank him off by his hair which he loves and could literally cum from the feeling of the harsh tug. even when you yank him off, he gives you a moment to catch your breath but gets back to work. would definitely make you squirt and he’d drink it all up. “look at my pretty whore, such a slut for my tongue, aren’t you.” whenever you’d close your eyes or look up at the ceiling, he’d pinch your thigh or ass or both because he wants your eyes on him constantly. the only one who’d let you suck his cock during your first time. oh you think you’d have control when sucking him off? nah. he’d fuck your throat. you’d be kneeling for him, looking up at him with doe eyes and he’d admire the view from above, caressing your face and hair before he slides himself in your mouth. he’d be decent and give you time to adjust to his thickness (bc he’s packing too) before going in completely. he’d hold your face steady and just fuck into your mouth, but won’t cum just yet. he’d pull you off the second he feels his climax approaching and push you down so you lay on your back. he gives you a few harsh pussy slaps with his thick cock before entering you. his girth is so thick and would definitely stretch you out. he’d overstimulate you, rubbing your clit hard and fast and sucking on your nipples, flicking his tongue around them while drilling into you incredibly fast. he’d definitely want to cum in you if you let him, but if not, he’d be okay with cumming in your mouth.

‹ na jaemin ›

he is such a soft dom omg. he’d have so many pet names for you. darling, angel, love, sweetheart, baby, pretty girl, everything! “pretty girl, will you let me take care of you? love you?” he could spend all day eating you out because he’s addicted to the way you taste and react to every single motion of his tongue. he would also buy you lingerie to wear if you planned your first time beforehand, and wouldn’t take it off of you because you look so beautiful in it. he’d only pushed your bra up to show your breasts and panties to the side to reveal your wet cunt. he would finger you and suck your clit into oblivion. also another member to make you squirt from eating you out so well and for so long. the squirting would only encourage him to keep going until he literally cannot breathe. he would maintain eye contact when eating you out and would wink at one point just to tease you. he won’t let you suck him off even if you beg because he wants the focus to be on you. even though he would eat your pussy for majority of the time, he won’t let you come on his tongue because he wants to feel your pussy tighten as you cum around his cock instead. he’d enter you carefully, kissing you while doing so in order to distract you from the pain. once he sees all signs of discomfort go away, this boy will not hold back. i don’t think he’d choke you but he’d definitely grip your hips and your breasts so tightly that it lowkey hurts but you honestly don’t care at the moment. not when he’s fucking you so well, he’d hit your g-spot every single time. he’d switch your positions so you’d be on top of him but he’d still be the one thrusting into you because he doesn’t want his princess to be doing any work. he would definitely suck on your titties like it’s the last day on earth while fucking up into you. he’d admire the way they’d bounce at every thrust and could cum from the sight. yeah jaemin’s a tits guy. he would have his sly ass smile on display while fucking you too. you and him would cum at the same time and he’d finish inside. jaemin would move you so you could lay down comfortably but will not pull out because he wants his cum to stay inside (if you’re on birth control). you guys would fall asleep while his cock would still be in you because it feels so warm and comfy.

[prince-simon]

Dear Wyo,

Beloved, perfect & talented wyo,

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT SMUT IN THE LAST CHAPTER OH MY GOD

I had to close my laptop & go outside when WILLE SPANKED SIMON AND HE LIKED (????) IT

I had to go outside (again) AND PET THE DOG WHEN IT GOT TO THE. COCKWARMING. BC SIMON STILL WANTED TO GET RAILED INTO OBLIVION BY WILLE AFTER HAVING TWO (2!!!!!) ORGASMS (yay to him being vocal about his needs tho, pop off my fav slutty prince)

SIMONS ASs BEING A 5 COURSE MEAL TO WILLE ?????????????????????????

I finished this chapter 2 hours ago and I am once again debating whether I should visit our local church tomorrow and have my own “forgive me father for I have sinned” fleabag moment

Wowowowowowiow

Wyo wow

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CONTINUOUSLY MAKING ME QUESTION WHETHER IM OLD ENOUGH TO READ THE SMUT YOU SO GRACIOUSLY PROVIDE

Seriously thank you so much for giving uns our two favourite princes being supported by their family and friends (fuck you Kristina). Their love makes me want to scream and vomit in the best way possible. You have been put on this earth by queer gods.

has it been long enough for me to post this spoiler-y ask? oh well. here we go now

the way i'm still screaming so much about this ask, it's so hilarious, this has literally made my entire week!

i'm just imagining you actually doing that and it's the funniest thing ever also (????) feels very accurate lolol

POP OFF MY FAV SLUTTY PRINCE PLS I AM HOWLING

this entire bullet point has tears rolling down my cheeks like. you're so fucking funny djkfjdkf

lmfaoooo pls have you had your fleabag moment? jdfkjdj

YOURE WELCOME HAHAHAAH

You have been put on this earth by queer gods i'll take it lmfaooo

no seriously thank you for this entertaining ask, it's one of my favourite ones i've ever received lmfao i can't stop laughing

[born-for-eachother]

mika-moony @keichanz @inukag @shiro-uta

sessrin stans are so fucking desperate for some sort of hint to their ship being canon that they’re grasping for anything as evidence. it’s so embarrassing honestly 💀

---------------------------------

I knowww, Lionel!! Oh my gosh I was almost in tears reading all these “theories” on reddit...I literally do not understand!! There’s no evidence to support any of these elaborate claims that SESSRIN x THE SACRED TREE (Sesshomaru freakin knows Roothead would kill her wtf wtf) are a thing omg its all because of that fake ass edit someone made on twitter that's making its rounds, saying “its Rin” 

-

I am honestly so damn tired meself of all theories surrounding rin and the tree. like sessrin shippers are just. so despearte for her to be the mom they're purposely ignoring all the signs that point its NOT her and just ;ailskjdf *screaming internally* you're right, Rin has literally no connction to the tree, niether does Sess. no relation to Kikyo either. its driving me fucking BONKERS ;LJASDF;O

------------------------------

Heather, my eye is literally twitching cuz they are SO PERSISTENT and I’m just laughing my ass off because of how utterly wrong they are. The tree doesn't give a shit about that nasty ship and if you've seen the first inuyasha movie that was 1) very inukag centric and 2) very very sacred tree centric too, you’d see the parallels are there which negates their claims even more, GOOD BYE.

-

lol they keep bringing in these wild rin theories each week. 😂 they've become obsessed with rin and the ship that they can't look beyond that

---------------------------

I know....she’s stuck somewhere, but it ain’t the damn tree for the 1000th time. The spirit of the tree wouldn't tell the girls shit about “Sesshomaru rescuing someone” in the tree like wtf I don't see how that's a giveaway that Rin is in there lmfao. 

-

inuyasha is not important anymore" WHO SAID THAT i just want to talk 🔪🔪🔪

I rolled my eyes into oblivion but its ok!! Let them think Inuyasha is touching the tree because he wants to reach out to friggin Rin LOL. Let them think that Inuyasha playing a confirmed role in the sequel is a lie. Also they think Inuyasha showing half his face in the OP is indication that he’s not looking for Kagome in the tree. ??????? SURE, JAN.

[enlightenedrobot]

Download here.

Over 90 samples both contemporary and classical. Incuding a few that aren’t obvious.

Full list below the cut.

Sampled Songs:

PS3 Startup Sound (Orchestra)

PS2 Startup Sound (Sound Effect)

THX “Deep Note” (Synth Riser)

Musica ricercata - György Ligeti (Piano)

Sicko Mode - Travis Scott (Distorted 808)

Be Faithful - Fatman Scoop (Drum Machine/ Yeah)

Für Elise - Vince Guaraldi Trio (Original by Ludwig Van Beethoven) Piano

Move Along - All American Rejects (Drums)

Still Dre- Dr. Dre (Piano)

Just Wanna Touch Me - Fidelfatti with Ronnette (Piano Stab)

Hella Good - No Doubt (Vocals)

Hobo Scratch - Malcolm McLaren (Drum Machine)

All is Full of Love - Vitamin String Quartet (Original by Bjork) (Strings)

Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice (Synth Bass)

Planet Rhythm - Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim (Drum Machine)

Toxic - Britney Spears (Strings)

Rebel Without a Pause - Public Enemy (Scratching)

Head to Toe - Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam (drum machine)

I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Strings and Vocals)

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles (Strings)

Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger (Drums)

I Like It - Flo Rida (Vocals)

Dramaphone - Caravan Palace (Drums)

We Found Love - Rihanna (Various Elements)

Sorry for Party Rocking - LMFAO (Various ELements)

Scream n Shout - Will.i.am and Britney Spears (Vocals)

Circus - Britney Spears (Vocals)

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas (Various Elements)

Bodies - Drowning Pool (Whispers)

Jock Jams (Are You Ready for this)

Wait - Yin Yang Twins (Whispers)

Amores - John Cage (Piano)

The Way You Move - Outkast (Drum Machine)

Strawberry Letter 23 - The Brothers Johnson (Various Elements)

Psychopath - Evil Maniacs (Various Elements)

The Boardwalk - The Beach Boys (Drum Machine)

Machine Gun Funk - Notorious BIG (Vocals)

Put a Straw Under Baby (Brian Eno)

Dream Theme - Nazo no Kanojo (From Mysterious Girlfriend X)

Go Go Gadget Flow - Lupe Fiasco (Drum Machine)

Castle Theme - Koji Kondo (From Super Mario World)

Cooking with Abigail - Jack Stauber (Bass)

All Day - Kanye West (Distorted Vocal)

Out of Touch - Hall and Oats (Vocals)

Thank You - Dido (Vocals)

Gimme Summn - TNGHT (arps)

Ice Cream - OMFG (Vocoder)

Wyclef Jean - Young Thug (Guitar)

Oblivion - Grimes (Fairlight CMI Samples)

Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest (Bass)

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (Vocals)

Bottom of the Map

Mumbo Jumbo - Tierra Whack - (Various Elements)

Bottom of the Map - Young Jeezy (Percussion)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast Theme

Still Feel - Half Alive (drums)

Overtime - Cash Cash (vocoder)

Passepied - Isao Tomita (original by Claude “Pop That” Debussy)(Heavily Distorted Synth Bass)

Tiimmy Turner - Desiigner (Vocals)

Amish Paradise - Weird Al Yankovic (Parody of Gangster’s Paradise by Coolio, which in itself samples Pastime Paradise by Stevie Wonder)(Choir)

My Perogative (Bobby Brown) (Drum Machine)

Moving in Stereo - The Cars (Sound Effect)

Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starship (Distorted Vocal)

Hat 2b 2012b - Aphex Twin (Drums)

Beep Street - Squarepusher (Drums)

Master of Puppets - Metallica (Electric Guitar)

Dead Pirates - UGO (Electric Guitar)

Everybody - Backstreet Boys (Drum Machine)

Gods and Monsters - Lana Del Rey (Vocals)

Heavy Metal - Justice (Synth)

Kernkraft 400 - Zombie Nation (Bass)

What I’ve Done - Linkin Park (Drums)

Hysteria - Muse (Bass)

Don’t Start Now - Dua Lipa (Drum and Bass)

Coma White - Marilyn Manson (Guitar)

Bojangles - Pitbull (Percussion)

Raining Blood - Slayer (Electric Guitar)

Pop - N’Sync (Various Elements)

Big Pimpin - Jay-Z (Various Elements)

Sunshine Superman - Donovan (Bass)

Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani (Drums)

Turn Me On - David Guetta and Nicki Minaj (Vocal)

Give it to Me Baby (Rick James) (Bass)

Repetition - Max Cooper (Synth)

I’m a Frayed Knot - Nurse with Wound (Percussion)

Pixel Affection - Yeule (Vocal Chops)

Luigi Whistling from Luigi’s Mansion by Kazumi Totaka

It Ain’t Hard to Tell - Nas (Bass)

Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max (Vocals)

Ring Tone - 100Gecs (Bass)

[kingyeoms]

i can't stop thinking about cheeky/mischievious soft dom josh smirking and giggling as he edges you into oblivion until you're sucking on his fingers and fucking them into yourself trying to come while he teases you for being so desperate for him that you'll settle for his fingers if you're denied his cock,,you getting on your knees for him and touching yourself while you suck him off bc you're so needy, and ultimately riding him while he guides your hips and sucks/bites marks onto your chest I-

hooooo boy i just cracked my fingers let’s get to writing this novel shall we??

joshua would definitely find so much satisfaction in teasing you,, honestly this piece of shit lmfao he’d love to see you begging for him,, probably saying something like “are you seriously that needy for me, sweetheart? how cute.” ugh honestly he’d make you work for it,, telling you that you needed to show him how badly you wanted him,, you’d be grinding into his fingers,, moaning and touching your chest,, desperate for something,, but he’d just cock his head and pretend to play innocent,, saying something like,, “looks like you can cum just fine without my cock, hmm?”

but ofc he’d give in,, mainly bc he knows he wouldn’t be satisfied w/ just cumming in your mouth,, but as always!! joshua would tell you to ride him,, because he’d love to watch you bounce on top of him,, his hands trailing up and down your hips,, his tongue trailing across your chest,,,,, god i’m gonna scream

[skeletondreadful]

Book 2, Chapter 40

China’s magic makes me gay

Awwwwwww yesssssss, augmenting your physical abilities with magic, fucking superb

She is covered in tattoos and I am feeling the queer vibes

Idk if Derek Landy did this on purpose but I hope he knows that China and Tanith are just... bi icons

Oh, Mr. Skeltal is free!

Yes, you’re fucking retreating because you’re THIRTEEN and there are TWO MONSTERS in this hospital courtyard and Skulduggery would be a TERRIBLE person if he didn’t get you to safety, and we already know he’s not terrible, he’s just... like... subpar.

China pls don’t die

Hm... removing the armor...

What’s clever??

The cleavers are just unconscious? Not dead? That’s... not great, but better than I expected...

China...

GOD shut you edgy face Venjess. “The thrill of using it against your enemies” blah blah blah

Careful Venj-asshole you might cut yourself on all your edge

China I am begging you to roast him into oblivion. Vicious Mockery this bitch.

Yes! Get him girl!

Fucking TOLD bitch!

Oh look, the hill billy fuck is useful after all

Whoa! They’re actually getting it off!

Yes! Beat his ass Mr. Skeltal!!

I need a moment to just...... seethe.... because Billy Ray Cyrus just football tackled Val.... and I am hoping that he quickly learns what a bad idea that is.......

HES CHOKING HER

Yes!! Ruin him, Val!

There’s just two fist fights happening right now lmao

Ah, the razor... slit his throat.

“You can’t kill me, you’re one of the good guys.” My dude, my guy, pal, buddy boy... literally no one would blame Valkyrie for ending you. As far as they’re concerned you want to kill her, so it’s self defense.

“See if I care.” Valkyrie you are a wonderful child and I adore you

Baron cut Skul’s arm off and honestly I’d be more concerned about it if he weren’t a skeleton.

How does he feel pain?

Lmfao Venjess is ice cold, leaving homeboy BRS to be straight up slaughtered like livestock

Sanguine is begging for his life, making offers but... how can Val be sure you’ll keep them, dude?

I fucking made the ugliest choking laugh sound, BRS just called Venjess an old man

Oh no... the eclipse......

Everything is going bad

I’m scared but also laughing bc the audiobook narrator is accidentally making it sound like Venjess has the hiccups.

I would give anything for Skulduggery to slap Venjess with his detached arm right now. Just... kill the mood.

“Then for my next trick! ... ah sod it I couldn’t be bothered to think of something smart to say.” Honestly tho same

Ooh, is Venjess actually gonna die? Please?

WHOA

THE GROTESQUERIE JUST SNAPPED HIS NECK

UM???

I am.... very distressed......

Fireball the sky?

Signal flare?

Oh, Skulduggery is unconscious.

HELLO YES I WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM BECAUSE THE TORMENT IS BACK

UGH

I hhhhhhhate The Torment.......

The Torment seems like a very heavy handed allegory for racism

Also I feel like I should inform you all that I can only picture him as that “I’m free! I’m free!” old man from Hunchback of Notre Dame (the Disney movie) but shirtless and in an adult diaper. My loathing for him is that strong.

The worst Spider-Man au

Gross

I am disgusted by this entire sequence

Okay but Valkyrie you should proooobably get up

I literally cannot type out what the “help me” The Torment screamed sounded like I can only express that it was HILARIOUS

“HHHHHYEP MAAAAYYYY!” close as I can get

Valkyrie please attack

Um, okay so... the grotesquerie literally SCALPED The Torment and I am... I am very frozen bc idk how to process that

Valkyrie is on her own, just her and the sword...

I am numb to protect myself from what is happening

Victory!

Oh geez what the fuck?? What’s happening???

Oh, so NOW you’re awake, Skulduggery?

Awful joke, not even gonna say what it was.

This is... actually nice...

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK OOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF HILL BILLY CUNT

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him

I am practically foaming at the mouth I hate this idiot worthless disgusting wretch of an American so much when does he fucking DIE??

“Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of ‘let’s get up close then see what happens’.” I’m fucking wheezing. Help. I can’t breathe. There are tears in my eyes.

“I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully” bruh