#0 language skills u feel???

[nonnieapple]

Hi hello! Could I request some poly dating headcanons for Bryon and Lorson with a gn reader please?

⛈️⚡️Bryon x g/n!Reader x Lorsan Headcanons⚡️⛈️

• (Bryon x g/n!Reader x Lorsan Headcanons)

• r a t i n g: t e e n & u p • 1 4 2 0 w o r d s

• p o s t e d: 27.10.2024 🌧️ navigation

n o t e: comin' right up! i miss them so... but i heard lorsan will be playable soon.

Bryon & Lorsan 

• I headcanon Bryon as on the aroace spectrum. He doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction very strongly.

• But he feels platonic love VERY strongly, he would kill for Elona.

• Getting into a relationship with Lorsan is easier (no offense) because he's more naive and eager. It would probably happen during your journey together, and he'd own up to it sooner or later because he can't keep his mouth shut, and his body language is very easy to read. 

• His ears began to droop around you (which meant that he was paying less attention to his surroundings- he was relaxed), and he would constantly fix his hair near you (when he thought you weren't looking. But you totally saw it). 

• He's not very subtle when speaking, either, I mean his flattery was tooth-rootingly sweet. 

• When confronted about it he denied it for a second but immediately switched up and admitted it when you fell silent. 

• He chose to go with you on your travels because he knows you yourself travel like a dandelion seed carried by the wind. 

• Bryon is, in many ways, the opposite of Lorsan. They are both skilled windwhisperers and wilders... and that's where the similarities end. 

• Bryon was cordial with you like he is with most, and you kinda fell for him upon first sight, because LOOK AT THAT MAN???

• You thought you had NO chance.

• It didn't help that, with that mask, he was hard to read. The more time you spent with him the more you could read the inflections of his voice, and that gave you a good indicator of what he felt.

• After he hid behind you when some lady tried flirting with him you realized that he isn't mysterious... he's just genuinely shy and reserved. That softened you to him and you felt less pathetic in his presence. 

• He wouldn't even realize he caught feelings until you're about to leave, and he's screaming on the inside, thinking how much he'll actually miss you now. 

• He's pretty committed to staying in the forest... dragging him out wouldn't be easy. He might visit from time to time and send you messages. Sometimes he sends so many of them you can't keep up. 

• But I don't think he could permanently leave the Dark Forest.

• Coordinating a poly relationship was not easy at first. 

• You had to explain the concept (they were only vaguely familiar with it) and it took a while to do so. 

• (Also, you had to get Elona's blessing first.)

• Lorsan kind of took it at face value and trusted you, while Bryon asked a TON of questions, which you indulged in, of course. The two balance each other well and answer for different needs of yours. Lorsan is more physical, close, and affectionate, while Bryon is wise, gives you space, independent. One comforts you physically and the other emotionally and intellectually. 

• You feel secure with both of them. Both have your back, and you have theirs.

• No one you know minds the arrangement. Lyca and Eironn are surprised you managed to make Bryon show vulnerability for once. 

• Lorsan is not surprised that you fell for Bryon and his mysterious ways. He says it's "typical". Ouch.

• Bryon is surprised that you like Lorsan, he says he's too chaotic compared to you and he has no idea how you manage him. You have no idea either. 

• Valen incessantly teases Lorsan, so when you see Valen Lorsan is ready to book it. 

• Bryon is so pretty... he gets hit on pretty often and always hides behind you like that'll help. Your usual tactic is to say that he's your boyfriend (true) BUT if they hit on Lorsan you have to choose between explaining your relationship or just letting Lorsan bask in attention (he doesn't always like it). 

• You're constantly aware of being noisy around them. You usually go do noisy things in other rooms or outside to not bother them. 

• They'll hear someone whistling in the distance and tell you how annoying it is when you hear quite literally nothing besides a breeze and their voices. Even if your hearing is good, theirs is on another level.

• You get to learn a lot about windwhisperers. You know more than the scholars in all of Esperia.

• Lorsan is more capable than he looks- if you get lost he's the one who leads the way or sets up shelter. At home, he's pretty productive around the house. 

• Bryon can go pretty long being silent. When you're together you can go almost a whole day without speaking... and then you talk for hours at night. 

• Very loyal. The type of person to do anything for you if you so much as bruise your leg- he's weak in that regard. 

• Bryon rarely takes off the mask. When you saw him without it for the first time, you freaked the hell out, because that thing had become a part of his face to you. Man, put your face back on!!!

• He's still gorgeous (obviously). He has cool yellow eyes and they're pretty imposing. You can't get used to him being without a mask. 

• Lorsan hasn't seen him without the mask since he was young. He only did because he walked in on Bryon and you sitting there. To Bryon, it would've been less shameful if he walked in on you bangi-

• Sometimes when Lorsan's happy he jumps up a little. 

• With his ears he's like a cat, one second he wants you to be all over him, and the next he's swatting your hand away. 

• When you're back home after being gone for a while, he'll circle you and chat away, not giving you a second to interrupt, probably bragging about something and telling you what he heard that day. 

• Lorsan will headbutt you for pets or just for a bit of attention. If you're focused on something he'll even nip you, which hurts. 

• He's kind of a brat... 

• HATES it when you poke his peets. Will leave if you try to do that. 

• Bryon barely touches you, and always asks before, except for when you wake up and find yourself pinned under his leg and arm, holding you like you're about to escape. 

• His ears are soft as silk. You try to keep your hands to yourself, but, come on, look at those things.

• Bryon doesn't get jealous much at all, and when he does he manages. Lorsan isn't that collected. 

• Lorsan steals your food. Constantly. 

• On the flip side, you don't see Bryon eat. 

• Communication goes well between you three. Until it doesn't if one of you gets into their own heads. All of you are very skilled and successful, and that can often lead to feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Rarely, but often enough for your friends to know how to respond already. 

• "They're at it again..." Valen will say, ready to talk you out of thinking you're worthless by screaming "YOU ARE *THE* MERLIN!" at you. 

• Works like a charm.

• Lorsan and Bryon get along.... ugh, it's bearable. Bryon is always subtly and not so subtly trolling Lorsan, who isn't as graceful with his words-

• Until he needs to apologize to you or anyone. He puts those hidden poet skills to use. 

        • If he's away, he might choose to send a letter instead. You keep all of them in a dedicated box, and you write down some of Bryon's messages. 

• Lyca is your sister-in-law now!!! Yippie!

• Each time she sees you she asks if Lorsan's been behaving well (NO, HE HAS NOT-)

• Bryon has to wear shoes when in Holistone and such, and he isn't a fan. "It's a dual leather prison," he once said, solemnly. 

• When Elona perches on you it's like being chosen by the gods themselves

• You've been adopted by Grannn Dahnie & Arden. You will get pestered and you better take it well OR ELSE.

• They tell you embarrassing things about your partners, with Lorsan getting flustered while Bryon is silently mortified. He says nothing and you can tell he's dying inside. Rest in peace.

• People in the Dark Forest start seeing you as a local since you visit so often. 

[hanasnx]

heyyy do you have any advice on how to write smut cause its sooo difficult for me *cries in virgin*

ur like one of my fav smutty writers and idk if you have any tips 😭

first off thank u very much i appreciate that :)

this isnt the first time ive been asked for writing tips so im gonna give a lot of info. youre bound to find something useful in this mess

im so sorry but one of my solutions to giving myself confidence in smut-writing was to literally fuck and fuck a lot

after losing my virginity it still wasnt enough experience tbh. so i gave myself room to explore my sexuality and was privileged enough to do it with a partner that encouraged that growth. that experience of fucking sure didnt hinder my smut-writing ability if you know what i mean ;0 but everything else about writing i learned from years of practice. ive been writing since i was in elementary school like id come home from fourth grade and read and write on quotev klsdjfsfj smut writing skills came later post puberty

when i tried writing smut as a virgin i genuinely couldn’t get past the build up. i was fantastic at writing the build up, it was the actual sex part that was hard bcos even tho i had done enough research (i read a lot of porn) it didn’t instill me with enough confidence that i could write it correctly, and so i never did. however! i sure wish i’d committed to it more, so let me see if i can write out some tips that would’ve helped me in the past

(this is just how i write smut, im by no means an expert)

my timeline

the way i write smut is pretty formulaic so i’ll break it down:

hook line ⟹ settings ⟹ build-up ⟹ foreplay ⟹ sex ⟹ ending

☥ hook line. maybe: a dialogue piece to kickstart; an ambiguous line that reels you in; an exciting action. i dont like starting my story with the name/pronouns of a character doing something boring. i.e. “you were getting ready for the day…” idk it’s not the worst thing in the world and we've all done it but just writing out what i try to avoid.

☥ build up is key to me. i have such a hard time reading and writing porn with no plot. i’ll do it sometimes if i like the writer enough, but i rarely write smut without the build up bcos i feel like that’s where the juice is. its whats fun and what you get to play around with bcos the actual sex part of the fic is pretty predictable.

focus on what’s said and unsaid in dialogue between characters. focus on the emotion each of them are feeling and how that emotion manifests into body language.

⟹ dirty talk is not for everyone, but god i love it. literally get nasty with it, this is your writing and we’re all just readin it. build anticipation using dirty talk, make filthy promises, make threats. make your characters talk about the nasty shit they wanna do to each other.

imagine someone you really wanna fuck, imagine the things youd do to them if you had the chance,,, write it into your characters.

☥ foreplay. goes hand in hand with dirty talk, its where the touching starts. decide how you want to play it. who gets oral, who gets fingered. both? one of them? neither and they just go straight to fucking?? i like foreplay, but if youre writing a “quickie” scenario then it may not be in the cards.

lets say it is in the cards tho. so some things to remember:

⟹ foreplay gets the dicks hard. when dicks get hard they leak pre-cum. balls have like no cushion and theyre soft and have little sacks in em that move around. the skin of this genital is often described as velvety bcos its soft. ive honestly never had sex with an uncircumcised penis so i have no idea if there’s a difference between how they feel.

foreplay makes the pussies loose and wet. the inside can be lumpy. it can be ridged or smooth. it can be all kinds of flesh colors like brown and pink.

without the foreplay (which can be verbal communication, or touching of the body or genitals) its a little painful for afabs bcos theyre too tight or too dry. and a flaccid dick is a little unpredictable to try to fit in.

⟹ afabs can have multiple orgasms, amabs are less lucky. afabs can cum and squirt multiple times, amabs can cum multiple times.

⟹ genitals get really sensitive after cumming though. so if you write someone finishing, write out how they might need some time before they finish again or start fucking, or that they get overstimulated getting touched still after they came and that sensitivity is a little uncomfortable.

⟹ the head of the penis is the most sensitive and that’s what makes it cum/orgasm. clits on pussies are the most sensitive and its what makes cum/orgasms happen. its very difficult if not impossible to achieve orgasm (if youve got a pussy) through penetration alone without clit stimulation

⟹ you can cum/squirt and not have an orgasm

☥ sex

⟹ changing positions can change angles and hit new pleasurable spots inside pussies.

⟹ probably write a couple different positions during the sex part, just to keep things fresh.

⟹ sprinkle in dirty talk to prolong the sex scene and to avoid sounding repetitive because if youre writing p in v it’s pretty standard to thrust over and over again until youre done. its a lot less glamorous when you spell it out like that, so you gotta add shit to make the sex scene more enjoyable to the reader whos not actively experience the sex.

☥ ending. i usually end the one shot after the fucking is done.

the smut tips

☥ think back to a time you were really turned on. from a show, from a book, something someone said to you, your own sex life, porn you really liked,,, take inspiration from it. use it and channel that own arousal within you.

if youve got a dirty fantasy and it gets you so hot and bothered thinking about it, write that.

if youve got a partner that fucks you crazy good and supplies you with inspo for dialogue or for settings or for scenarios, write that too. theres been a whole bunch on my blog that was inspired by my boyfriend. not everything, but enough to mention it.

also! another thing that people underestimate is the inspiration you take from other blogs. like mine for example, if you like my stuff take inspo from it. study my writing style and you’ll see all kinds of little tips in subtext id never be able to list for you. i do that with other blogs, i dont copy them but i definitely learn little things i like from them and incorporate it into my writing for a more cohesive story. if i take an idea though i ask for their permission & credit them.

☥ the most important tip i can give you is be as self indulgent as possible. youre wasting time worrying about other people. “will they like this? will people think im weird? what if they think im weird for writing this?” fuck that noise. warn accordingly, and go ham. your self indulgence is your best friend. it’ll guide you through all those dirty things you want to say or do to someone, let it take root and write what excites you. chances are you will find your people, and your fic will be set apart bcos it’s so specific to you that people will be drawn to that. and if theyre not? it ends up not being popular? it doesnt matter! because you had fun writing it right? fuck yea u did

☥ the types of words you use are so important. words that invoke a certain emotion or sexy feeling. its difficult to explain but i try my hardest to use “beautiful language” paired with dirty, disgusting, cacophonous language. marry them together so you can convey whether youre “love-making” or “fucking”. i dont like words that dont look or sound good in my head. like when you paint, you probably use colors you like looking at to create the entire picture on the canvas that’s beautiful. so pick out paints that are pleasing to the eyes. the bold ones and the soft ones.

examples of words i dont use cos i hate the way they sound and the way they look: “vagina” and “penis” LMAO

even “butt” isnt a word i like to use. i’ll almost always use “ass” or “backside”

⟹ the smut writer’s dictionary

☥ i keep comedy out of it for the most part, ive never really seem humor added positively into a smut that added to the experience. its usually physical humor stuff like the characters bumping heads or stubbing their toe or something its just cringy to me idk. if i add comedy (i am not good at writing comedy)i put it before the smut. and if you must have some sort of lightheartedness id keep it casual, light, and personal. like an inside joke or something tongue in cheek. you dont have to hide your deepest desires behind humor , you can be serious

☥ your pain tolerance is heightened so run with that. get spanked its fun

more important tips i love and stand by:

☥ call backs are important to me. it’s like if you have something in the future of your fic to be used, try to incorporate it in some small way in your establishing settings or build up. but it’s not as important to others as it is to me. an example would be in my one shot “talk huttese to me”, at the end anakin fucks reader on the tool table. at the very beginning of the fic, when i had reader taking in the surroundings of the “garage bay”, she scanned the drawer stack where she set his broth she brought him, and the tool table he’d later fuck her on. its kinda like,,, foreshadowing (i think?). you’re setting up your reader to be like “?? i wonder why the author thought it would be important to mention the tool table.. wonder if anakin fucks her on it later.” but even if your readers dont react that way, i still think it ties things together nicely

☥ try to write 15-20 mins uninterrupted. create a ritual. i use the bathroom, refill my water, grab a fun drink like sweet tea, put on a silent youtube video (like my ahsoka star wars lofi live i love so much), listen to a playlist of music (preferably music you havent heard before so it can fade into the background. maybe even cultivate a playlist for the vibe youre going for in your story, aids greatly in creating an atmosphere in your writing if youre translating the music in your ears), and turn your phones notifications off (ofc i leave on notifs for calls in case of emergencies, but i can answer my friends’ texts after my writing session). set a timer so you dont have to keep checking the time.

☥ don’t stop in the middle of your storytelling to check the thesaurus or dictionary. write out whatever word/phrase first came to mind and highlight it to come back to later to alter or replace it completely. you’re interrupted your creative flow and its difficult to come back to it when youre checking the thesaurus every five seconds. this hack was crucial to my ability to stay on task i promise you

☥ avoid sounding repetitive by using the same words close together. you’ll create a fuller story by adding to your vocabulary using the thesaurus.

☥ avoid listing actions, break them up with adverbs at the start of your sentences if you must, or description of things or the place your character is in, or explain the emotion your character is feeling or what that emotion is causing within your character. starting sentences over and over again with the character’s name or pronoun breaks up the flow for the reader.

☥ really try to finish your works in progress even if you think its bad, the challenge of it will help you practice and learn to overcome your own mind trying to hold you back

☥ if you dont like the direction your fic is going,,, and youre experiencing writer’s block:: cross out the most recent bit and take it in a new direction. “oh but indy!! i really have a certain goal in mind!!” great, find another way to get to it because youre blocking yourself from finishing this forcing yourself into a non entertaining corner. switch it up! challenge yourself. “but indy!! i really liked what i had for this scene!!” yea but youre blocked right? youre not writing anything else for this scene and you cant, right? if you like what you have for this scene (an action, a dialogue piece youre proud of, a plot twist) save it! use it for a different piece !

hope this helps you and others!

[astrology-journal]

Unveiling The Mysteries Of Your Soul Urge Number

Have you ever wondered about the cosmic language that the universe uses to communicate with us? It turns out, numbers play a crucial role in this enigmatic dialogue, and this is where the fascinating world of Numerology comes into play. Numerology acts as a deciphering tool, unveiling the intricate dimensions of our destiny, purpose, and personality. Today, let’s dive into the essence of one such vital numerical expression – the Soul Urge Number. Join us on this journey to explore its meaning, significance, and much more. Consult with an Indian Numerologist for more Guidance.

Decoding the Soul Urge Number: A Glimpse into Your Deepest Desires

The term “soul urge” resonates with our heart’s desires, and that’s precisely what the Soul Urge Number in numerology reflects. Calculated from your name, this number serves as a window into your soul, offering insights into your passions, personality, and everything in between. It’s a numerical reflection of what your heart yearns for the most.

Understanding the Soul Urge Number in Practical Terms

Now that we grasp the concept of the Soul Urge Number, let’s explore how to calculate it. Follow these steps:

Write down your full name, including your middle name.

Isolate the vowels in your name.

Replace each vowel with its corresponding numerological value.

Add up these values to obtain a single-digit result.

Refer to the Chaldean Numerology system below for each letter’s numerical value:

A, I, J, Q, Y = 1

B, K, R = 2

C, G, L, S = 3

D, M, T = 4

E, H, N, X = 5

U, V, W = 6

O, Z = 7

F, P = 8

For example, let’s consider the name Sanjana Gupta. The vowels are A, A, A, U, A.

Calculating their values: A + A + A + U + A = 1 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 1 = 10 = 1 + 0 = 1

Hence, the Soul Urge Number for this name is 1.

Unique Characteristics of Different Soul Urge Numbers

Each Soul Urge Number carries unique traits:

Soul Urge Number 1: Ambitious, independent, and possessing leadership qualities.

Soul Urge Number 2: Emotional and sensitive individuals who prioritize love.

Soul Urge Number 3: Positive, creative, and lively individuals with a zest for life.

Soul Urge Number 4: Practical, diligent, and valuing stability and discipline.

Soul Urge Number 5: Charming, curious, and adventurous explorers.

Soul Urge Number 6: Nurturing, caring individuals who love peace.

Soul Urge Number 7: Inclined towards knowledge, analytical, independent, and highly spiritual.

Soul Urge Number 8: Value possessions, prioritize wealth and power.

Soul Urge Number 9: Generous, kind, humanitarian, and driven by perfection.

The Significance of Your Soul Urge Number in Your Journey

In the realm of numerology, the Soul Urge Number plays a pivotal role, influencing various aspects of life:

Understanding True Personality: This number unveils your genuine personality.

Revealing Deepest Passions: It offers insights into your passions and talents.

Decision-Making Capability: Linked to your decision-making skills.

Outlook on Life: Reflects whether you are a pessimist or an optimist.

Numerological insights into your Soul Urge Number can provide profound revelations about why you feel connected to certain aspects of life.

In Conclusion

The Soul Urge Number is a crucial piece of numerological information that succinctly unveils truths about your personality, passions, and desires. Delving into this number is especially advisable for those entering relationships. Today, we’ve explored the meaning and significance of the Soul Urge Number, delving into the unique nature of each number. For personalized insights, connect with the best numerologists at Astroyogi. Embark on a journey of self-discovery through the lens of numerology, where your soul’s desires are decoded through the magic of numbers.

Source URL:-https://goldenlifenewspaper.com/unveiling-the-mysteries-of-your-soul-urge-number/

[fellowshiphq]

B I R C H

name: utp

age: ~300 (appears +35)

gender: utp

pronouns: utp

species: elf

kingdom: cordelaine

commitment level: 3

proficient skills: investigation & insight

fc recs: tony leung, sophie okonedo, djimon hounsou

A B O U T

birch has been a member of the cordelaine high council for nearly a century and they take their responsibility seriously. they take everything seriously. it is their duty and their purpose to ensure a prosperous future for their people. it seems as though they've been failing at their job since the elvish people are fading out of existence. but it is difficult to govern a body of people who simply have no will to endure. birch hopes this diplomatic mission will be the herald of a new era where elven culture can be preserved somehow.

S P E C I A L - S K I L L S

birch is one of the most intelligent beings in the kingdom and they have no qualms showing it. they are wise and perceptive which allows them to determine the true intentions of others easily. they can read tone and body language to determine other beings' mood and next move. they are also good at investigation. their years of life have given them the experience to deduce information varying from discovering the location of hidden objects to determining weak points in any enemy's armor.

S T A T S

dexterity: -2

strength: -1

charisma: -1

wisdom: +4

intelligence: +2

constitution: 0

C O N N E C T I O N S

WILLOW - you noticed that this young half-elf has the natural gift of magic: a rare blessing that can fade without proper attunement. you took it upon yourself to ensure their powers would not wane. you've begun counseling them in secret. you respect that they wish to keep this aspect of themselves private, especially since they are already ostracized in cordelaine due to their human parentage. although you cannot wield magic yourself you feel you've read enough on the subject to teach them well. ASH - you've known them for centuries now. they are an old, fond friend. although you find it difficult sometimes to respect them, you still love them. their quirky and absent-minded ways can be a bit grating and you wish they took more responsibility to preserve the world they live in, but they seem determined to drift through life carelessly. by this point you know you can't change them. HICKORY - they've unofficially been under your care and watchful eyes for many years. you take this task seriously and never slack on your schedule of checking in on them. you don't trust them. you want to have faith but you've never been the forgiving type. you told them that you invited them on this diplomatic mission because it was their chance to prove their alliance, but truthfully it was because you couldn't risk leaving them unattended for so long.

this character is currently OPEN. they are written by TBD.

Post

[benetnvsch]

Happy

Pairings: Tsukkiyama (but also not rlly??), past mentioned kurotsuki, past mention oiyama, and kuroken (but also mentioned but for literally like five words)

Word Count: 1068

Warnings: none but it is angsty,,,sorry :(

A/N: h y p er ventilates,,,uhhh,,,this was originally written for my oc’s and I changed it to match tsukkiyama cause I thought it would work with them ajfgsakf,,,sorry if this is ooc,,,also not beta read because i do not know ppl who’d be willing to beta read my stuff rip asjhfgjfs

Also on Ao3: (hereeee)

“Tsukki, I like you,” Yamaguchi says one cold evening. It’s completely out of the blue. He and Tsukishima are sitting on Tsukishima’s bed together, Tsukishima is laying over Yamaguchi’s legs. He has a fantasy book about dragons and kingdoms between his fingers and Yamaguchi’s eyes are glued to his phone and he’s wearing his earbuds and swaying his head to the beat of whatever he’s listening to as if he had never spoken.

I like you.  

It was innocent enough but still manages to send chills down Tsukishima’s spine and he can feel the atmosphere grow heavy and the tips of his fingers grow cold. The grey skies outside darken, dimming the room and the rain patters on their dorm room window wildly.

“Oh,” is the beginning of Tsukishima’s ever eloquent response. “Like me as in a friend-like way or like me in a romantic sense?”

Yamaguchi pauses. Thinks. He pauses whatever music is playing on his phone and takes one of his earbuds out. “Um, I like you in a friend-like way for the most part?” He takes out his other earbud and sets down his phone. He straightens up, causing the bed under Tsukishima to slightly dip. “Like I'm pretty sure that it's just platonic but if you asked me on a date I would not say no.” Yamaguchi furrows his eyebrows and his face is tight with concentration, as if he’s debating on what to say next. “And if you kissed me right now, I would probably kiss you back,” he adds. Then, satisfied with all that he said, he nods. “Yeah. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Tsukishima doesn't know quite what to say in response. That was definitely not the answer he expected. Not at all. How would that even work anyway? Would he ever want to go on a date with Yamaguchi? The idea doesn’t sound bad to him but he doesn’t exactly have romantic feelings for him and isn’t that required to date someone? Would he just date Yamaguchi as a friend and hope the romantic feelings would come later? Is that even something he could do?

He looks at the younger boy. Yamaguchi is looking back at him, copper eyes soft yet tired. His face is soft and he radiates patience and safety in a way Tsukishima greatly appreciates. He comes to his conclusion.

“If circumstances were a bit different, I probably could have loved you,” it wasn’t a straight answer, and it definitely wasn’t the answer Yamaguchi probably needed to hear yet hearing himself say it out loud makes Tsukishima’s heart calm down a little because it really is true.

Yamaguchi laughs, loud and sad. The rain still drums at the window.

“Ah, if I were a bit taller, way smarter, and had messier black hair maybe you could have loved me then?” He asks, meaning if we lived in a universe where I was more like Kuroo?

Tsukishima shakes his head. “No,” he replies because he honestly is over Kuroo.

What Tsukishima means is if we lived in a universe where people were more accepting of two boys in love; If we were both a bit more confident and a lot more prideful and if you were a bit more stronger and I was a bit more softer; If we both had more friends outside of volleyball and didn’t spend so much time pining after shitty high school captains and pretty boys with messy hair then maybe I could have loved you.

He means is if we lived in a universe where I didn’t latch onto the first senior who showed my some type of pity over my circumstances instead of just brushing off my attitude and telling me to simply 'do better' and if you didn’t give your entire heart to an ever too prideful captain of a rival school simply because you thought he was everything you weren't then maybe, just maybe, I could have loved you.

Yamaguchi nods sagely as he understands everything Tsukishima is thinking. Maybe he does. Yamaguchi could always see straight through him. “Ah.”

It's silent for a while. Tsukishima listens to the rain. It seems to have gotten quieter too

Then Yamaguchi speaks, “Do you think in some alternate universe we’re dating?”

Tsukishima shrugs. Personally he doesn't believe in alternate universes. This was it. You got one chance and one life to live the way you wanted to and you better not fuck it up. Too late for that he supposes. Just to humor Yamaguchi though, “ Yea, I think so. I’d like to think so.”

Yamaguchi gives a breathily chuckle the same time the rain starts to pour harder again. The sound drums around them. “Do you think we’re happy there?” Yamaguchi asks him.

Tsukishima stills.

Happy ?

Happy’s a big word. And it could have so many meanings. Happy together, or just happy in general?

Tsukishima could have sworn he was happy with Kuroo but then they broke up and Tsukishima realized just how sad he'd been. Tsukishima was broken. Tsukishima was miserable. Kuroo was miserable too, he thinks (Kuroo’s less miserable now, Tsukishima had noticed, ever since that one long haired setter confessed to him). But misery truly does love company and together, they both fueled each other's misery; pushing each other to their limit until one day they snapped.

I guess that one saying is true; hurt people really do hurt people.  

But...that's not fully true is it? Yamaguchi struggles too. For the years he's stayed by the other boy's side Tsukishima knows that Yamaguchi is not always happy. He struggles with confidence, he struggles with pride, he struggles with a lot. However, when Tsukishima is with Yamaguchi, no matter how much he is struggling, Yamaguchi is always looking for a way to help out and support Tsukishima. He pushes them both to always do better. Yamaguchi's soft smiles and words of encouragement perfectly balances Tsukishima's sharp edges and snarky tongue.

Kuroo and I...we were two miserable people who hurt each other in an attempt to feel loved but Yamaguchi... When I'm with him I'm not content with just complaining and being hurt. I don’t want to be pitied. I want to be better. He inspires me to be better. We may be hurt but we are hurt together and we are helping each other heal.

Tsukishima nods and smiles. He knows his answer, “Yeah. I think we are happy.”

[cleostoohot]

VOID SUCCES STORY

Hey! At first, I’d like to apologize for any mistake because english is not my first language and I’m not using any translator.

So, I just got into the void and it was AMAZING. It’s not my first time into the void, but it is best of them.

When I got into the void for the first time, it was really easy, but I got too chocked and the sensation was too “new”. So i was very nervous and I couldn’t focus on any affirmation, but I just said that I could get into the void very easily.

So, I got into the void for the first time on Saturday, five days ago! For some personal reasons I just tried to get in again today (Thursday), and it was INSANE!

At first, I just tried to relax my body, counting to 10 from 0, and as I passed by every number, I relaxed an specific part of my body. For example:

10 - head

9 - arms

…. bla bla bla

Okay, when I finished, I visualized some void behind my eyes. Just like if the void part of my body was there all the time. Can you understand? Well, I hope. So, i visualized this void expanding, taking all my face, body, room, house, city, country, Earth and the whole universe.

I just visualized this void expanding till it takes everything that existed, and then I started affirming “I’m finally into the void state”, “I got into the void state”, “I’m into the void state, I can feel it”. And them, after affirming for some minutes, i felt my body like floating. Like I was changing my reality and leaving my body.

Was amazing, I manifested a lot of things, and I would try to shift to my wr, but for some reason I was afraid. I always had the problem of being afraid of shifting to my dr or wr. If u can give me some tips 🫠

But well, it was this. I’m very happy and in peace now! Please guys, don’t give up, NEVER! You got a whole brilliant future in front of you, please believe in yourselves.

I know that sometimes everything sounds so difficult, and we thing that the law is fake or that we can manifest… BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE! We’re all so powerful, and incredible humans.

Follow you way, everything has a reason. Please don��t give up on your way, never. I love you <3

great job!!! and amazing visualizing skills💗💗

[aeripq]

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐔 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊 — ! (𝐒𝐅𝐖)

0. — HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU KIN INUI SEISHU? (DOES THIS SOUND LIKE YOU?)

inui is usually quite stoic and quiet. he's not one to avidly start or end conversations and is gentle and soft behind his cold, hurt exterior. inui is also not afraid to voice his ideas and opinions if he deems it necessary, although this can sometimes hurt him. he is brave and courageous, not afraid to get in the way of a bullet for one he loves. he is loyal if he is given that loyalty in return, and if a little pressure is put on him, he will feel comfortable enough to share his feelings and be kind to others, however, if things in his life become too stressful, he can have outbursts of emotion that can affect those around him. he is tough, and a skilled fighter. he's been the second choice most of his life due to his experiences with kokonoi and his sister akane.

oh, so you do kin him? great! read under the cut for your starter pack.

1. — 5 SONGS TO START YOUR PLAYLIST

1. you get me so high — the neighboorhood 2. physical — pretty sick 3. people watching — conan gray 4. church — chase atlantic 5. EVERYTHING — the black skirts

2. — LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE...

let me guess. you're a libra, aquarius, taurus, or pisces? are you also an isfp, or an isfj? how about an infj? ;) your primary love language is physical touch or quality time, isn't it? and finally; you're probably into the 90's grunge, dark acadamia, or light acadamia aesthetics, hm?

3. — BASED ON YOUR GENERAL BEHAVIOR, WHO ARE YOU MOST COMPATIBLE WITH?

you are most compatible with ran haitani, hinata tachibana, hajime kokonoi, and taiju shiba.

4. — 5 OUTFITS TO GET YOUR STYLE GOING

5. — ADVICE FOR YOU <3

think about that person. yes, that one; you know exactly who i'm talking about. i know you love them, and i know you're attached to them, but you need to let them go. it's not healthy for you, and you're only giving in to their desires. also, take a step back a take a deep breath. i know you can get emotional sometimes, but it's ok. you have people that love you, and that care for you. like me <3! love u babes xoxo

notes ;; this is my first time doing this,, so i hope it was ok lol. this was super fun and i'll 100% make this a series, so feel free to request certain characters or say which characters you'd like to be tagged in <3! also,, this isn't meant to imply that ALL inui kins are like this;; this is just my own respective opinion!! also just because i put certain characters into who you'd most likely be compatible with, DOES NOT MEAN I SHIP THEM WITH INUI! my choices are simply based off of mbti, zodiac, and general personality compatibility. <3

© 𝐚𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐪 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐 — 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬, 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.

[rcksmith]

Geniuses — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Hi! I am just the annon that recently sent the request 3,11,16 and 22. You asked what I wanted, I forgot to put that I got them from the “fluff” prompt list. I am so sorry!! And don’t worry! It’s not your fault I didn’t see the list 😂😂 but thank you so much! I really like your fics and your writing style so much! 🥺🥺💖💖”

Fluff prompts:

3“You’re staring again.”

11. “Wow- you look…amazing.”

16. “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 16. “I heard that!” 1 .“You were supposed to!”

22. “well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

Haha love, it’s okay💖💖 i hope you like, because I really like to writing tis. Thank you for resquest. Love u❤️

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves/Fem! Reader.

Warnings: nothing, just bad words and fluff.

(gif not mine)

— — — — —

It was fun to think that Five never had an equal opponent, someone as smart, canny, sarcastic and ironic as he. Five Hargreeves was always used to being the smartest person in the room, always being the one with the quickest response on the tip of his tongue.

And, well, it was fun to think that it all went up in the air when you showed up.

You were cruelly intelligent, able to correct errors in Five's math equations, sarcastic and always had a cheeky smile on your face. You weren't used to being underneath, which is why when Five wanted to show that he was better than you, well, you wouldn't give up.

But unlike the time traveler, you didn't have super powers, you weren't extraordinary, you didn't have any skills, but that didn't stop you from being equal to him in every other way.

Whenever Five wanted to come out on top with the argument that he had powers and you didn’t, you raised an eyebrow, looked at him as if he had made a basic math mistake, and said: “I don’t need powers, I’m a genius, you should try to be one too.” And it made him furious, and, truth be told, you just liked to tease him too.

But just as the two of you had personality differences, the ability to handle emotions and people well was different from Five. You were kind, funny and wanted to make people comfortable around you. Being a genius didn't mean you shouldn't be a nice person, and Five usually forgot about it.

As you and Five spent more time together, it became clear that you two were no longer able to stay away from each other. Five liked (secretly) to have someone to really talk to. Someone that understood and followed his line of reasoning, that understood the equations he did, and that considered him a genius instead of crazy with some reasoning.

Being with you was like, for Five, meeting another human being in a dog-only world, and when he kind of told you that in other words, you laughed out loud and said: “Or how to find an equal sign in an equation.” And that's when he felt his heart pounding for you.

Five remembered when you beat him in chess for the first time, no one had ever done it before, and he agreed to play with the full awareness that he was going to win again. Well, that is not what happened.

When you checkmate his king, Five was stunned. He leaned over the board, looking at the pieces as if they had created a head. And you laughed, leaned back in your chair in a victorious smile.

“This is impossible.”

“it's actually just intelligence, why don't you use it now and then?” You were kidding, it was obvious, you couldn't stand hurting people and Five knew it. The dynamics of the two of you who were exchanging barbs.

“You must have stolen or something, this is very much your style” He returned, eyes on you as you laughed “Let's play again and I will give you a the most brutal defeat.”

“Well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead” You accepted, first because you wanted to show that you would beat him as many times as possible, and second because there was nothing you liked more than spending time with Five.

The matches started, and you won every time. And when the sunset and the breeze was cold, you and Five looked at each other, with the peach rays of the sun illuminating their faces, and the mutual smile they gave out sweetly.

He were really enjoy the game and you knew that, and he knew you not just want the victory. You two know Just more matches would make you spend more time together. And... Five didn't remember if anyone ever really engaged in a game just to want to be around him.

But things really got more real and serious when Vayna asked you to go to one of her violin performances too. And, well, you wore a long, red dress, firm in all the right places, and Five couldn't get his eyes off you just one second.

It was as if, when he saw you, all the equations in his life had been solved. And a single thought rang in his mind: “I want her”

And the certainty of that was absolute. He wanted you as an overwhelming force, which shook his whole body. He needed you like needed oxygen. And there was no way to deny that anymore.

But it all happened in a fraction of a second, and you had just chosen that moment to approach him and ask:

“So, how am I look? Are you going to make a little joke about berries or something?” You laughed.

But Five could think of nothing but that if there were the personification of sin and perfection, it would be you. He looked at you as a whole, a fucking beautiful woman with a fucking brilliant mind. You are incredible and he had no other adjectives for you.

“Wow- you look… amazing.” You felt all the intensity and truth in that sentence, and your heart pounded in your chest.

For, truth be revealed, you had dressed up for him. Because wanted him to think you were beautiful. Because you thinking him were a young God with all the vigor and beauty.

Five really wanted to focus on anything but you. Not In the swing of your body, in the outline of your lips, in how he wanted to put you out of that dress. He really tried. But his eyes were always drawn to you at the end of the effort, as if you were the only thing worth seeing.

“You’re staring again.” Luther whispered in his right ear, while Five kept his eyes on you for a moment that seemed to him seconds, but to Luther it was hours.

But who could blame him? You looked like a mirage, too beautiful to be true. And Five wanted to record every detail of it in memory.

“Take care of your life!” He replied, taking his eyes off you.

After that night, Five already knew that he could no longer keep his hands off you. He couldn't just look at you anymore when the hunger to touch you started to hurt physically. As soon as you got back to the mansion, he grabbed you by the wrist, in a strong, firm grip, and pulled you with him as he climbed the stairs towards his own room.

Five needed you. A kiss, a caress, a body-to-body contact, anything, he just needed it. And it had to be now, he not wait for you to go home and come back later, he couldn't wait days...damn it! He couldn't wait seconds!

Then he knocked and locked the door behind you when you entered the his room.

“What the hell?” You rubbed your wrist that he must not have measured how much firmly him hold you “You're acting like a nut and I thin ...”

But Five didn't give you time to continue. He couldn't give you time. He could not explain something that for him was still a mess. So he showed you.

Five came to you in big, determined steps, and he fit your face in his hands before tilting and sticking his lips to yours. And then the world seemed to make sense for the first time.

Everything was suspended. The people, the rotation of the earth, the wind, the noise of the streets. Everything went into a black hole and was no longer important. The only thing that really mattered was you. And Five kissed you until the oxygen was strictly necessary.

“I have been waiting for this for some time.” You confessed, and Five blew out a low laugh, answering you with another kiss that ended up taking you to a bed and messy sheets.

After that night, Five became more attached to you, and the relationship grew stronger over the weeks.

“You know this is wrong, right?” You said as you took a look at the equations he had made that afternoon.

Five looked at you with a frown, irritation in his eyes, but you were trying to contain your laughter.

“You have nothing else to do no?”

“Besides seeing your accounts wrong? No.” You had fun, taking one of the white chalk Five was using and erasing an equation from it, redoing it in the right way.

You could feel his gaze on your back, but you did your best not to laugh and return the chalk complacently.

“Now it's right.”

Five looked at the account you redid, and gave you an expression of so few friends that you couldn't control your laughter anymore.

And his expression closed even more. You shook your head and were already on your way to the door when when you heard him mumbling:

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

Then you laughed even harder and turned to Five, who had been doing his math again on the walls of his room.

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!” He countered without even waiting a second, and then you came back towards him, the laughter still present in your voice, your eyes full of play and love.

You put your arms behind his waist, still with the remnants of laughter coming from yours lips, and leaned your head against his broad back.

Five felt and heard your laughter, and then controlled himself not to laugh too, before giving yours hands that were hugging his waist a few gentle pats.

“You are unbearable.” You mumbled, but full of love overflowing with the words “But I love you.”

Then Five laugh came and he exchanged pats for an affectionate affection on yours hand, signaling that he also found you unbearable, but that he loves you.

[rigelmejo]

Audio Immersion Loop

I’ve read this suggestion by Nukemarine before, and I think its quite a good idea - especially for improving listening skills and reinforcing what you know into a more immediate-understanding. https://www.reddit.com/r/LearnJapanese/comments/886lfg/does_your_japanese_listening_ability_lag_behind/

The core idea is: a mix of ‘audio seeds’ (audio you’ve studied before and therefore understood before) and ‘other’ audio (ideally things you’ve watch/heard with english subs or directly in your target language before - so your mind ‘likes’ the material). He suggests 30% audio seeds and 70% other, though any combo may be useful and he’s not sure if another % split would be more effective.

The idea is your mind understood the ‘audio seeds’ before in study, so as you listen to it regularly without pause your mind practices understanding it quicker and without concentrating as much, then over time you hear words/phrases/sentences similar in the ‘other’ audio material and your brain latches on and starts trying to comprehend them too and practices. 

I’ve very roughly followed this article’s advice before, and it started helping. So I’d like to make a proper list of what I could use for a full on Audio Immersion Loop that meets all these needs:

Japanese:

Audio Seeds: - Core 2k Pimsleur (audio directly from Nukemarine’s LLJ decks and because of that it should be mostly things I’ve studied before, or you could study using the Nukemarine LLJ Memrise Courses): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B8cWM0WNU3s4eFdSMzk5Vm9HR1E?resourcekey=0-KVCnBQh3SJxhn2oCUC-SiA - JapaneseAudiolessons.com (not ‘pure’ audio seeds idea since this includes english, but would count as comprehensible audio). Link for meL https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1qoJ7B002ZEgyDvCnGyFXUS1u8S_qgoG2 , General link for you: https://www.japaneseaudiolessons.com/ - Clozemaster Radio Mode for Japanese - Well suited for this, since you can have it play audio of sentences you already studied!

Other Audio: - Lets plays of any game you have familiarity with/like - for me that’d be Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy X, Ratchet and Clank, etc. Also any ‘video game movie’ since it goes directly through parts you know. - Condensed audio of FFX (perfectly suited for this): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1M5jdUQCM7O12r1X8np5y4ofkzBKMSdJo - Condensed audio of Death Note: https://www.paliss.com/episode/death-note-1615919536511x465432008057248060 - anything from this site if you’ve seen the anime: https://www.paliss.com/ - general condensed audio files: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1EMBr5yskSiBTZ-LUQtMY-r4AihRIJczJ

What I’d do: listen to Clozemaster Radio Mode Japanese, and FFX condensed audio.

Chinese:

Audio Seeds: - Chinese Spoonfed Audio (not ‘pure’ audio seeds because there’s english, but when I played this in even just the background regularly I saw listening skill improvements): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1MCKgOxzW9cd1u9cWjzGwWrpxnL5pDz0w - Clozemaster Radio Mode for Chinese - again, well suited for this, as you have the option to play only sentence audio you have already studied. 

Other Audio: - Guardian audiobook! by Avenuex: https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=791802378&order=2&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=0 - Sherlock audiobook: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVyDH2ns1F757P-m8MHckuIFqWapl6y-1 - Guardian audiobook by wheat (I really like their voice): https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=794964371 - Silent Reading audiobook (note this is the same version as ximayala so if you have that then just search ximalaya this version has some sentences/paragraphs skipped): http://www.6ting.cn/books/59641.html - Silent Reading audiobook unabridged (UPDATE I am listening through this one while following the webnovel and YES this version actually matches the text): part 1 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1b5411N7aa?share_source=copy_web part 2 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1SX4y1G7z7?share_source=copy_web part 3 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1tU4y1p74y part 4 - https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1cy4y1t7cC?share_source=copy_web - Silent reading (on music.123 by 景喵- , I tend to prefer this site because you can still listen to it in a mobile web browser with it minimized)  https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=349361634&order=1&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=100  - Silent reading (on music.123 by  栗煜子)  https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=792725710&order=1&_hash=programlist&limit=100&offset=100 - Guardian condensed audio (my link, will not work for others, u can ask for a copy if you’d like I just basically ran the episodes and subs through subsrs, mainly to make condensed audio): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/11J2qADG9rHSK_45rKpvVIpzXn8YYWhA_ - Silent Reading audio drama: https://youtu.be/DsdmeQBMD_M - Word of Honor audio drama: https://m.missevan.com/sound/2853120 - LiuLi audiobook: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH_aGSaKXFeHSofRd4LF1Hl8fpCSREVBW - HP audiobooks: https://music.163.com/#/djradio?id=526222636&order=2&_hash=programlist - general condensed audio link for chinese if anyone would like (it has The Untamed): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1LtZEKe9ItVg-H5q-G01YITLyfrWpOZR-

What I’d do: listen to Chinese Spoonfed Audio or Clozemaster Radio mode Chinese (whatever I could get myself to), then other percentage split between any audiobooks I’d want to listen to Guardian/Silent Reading/Sherlock.

French:

Audio Seeds: - Francais Par Le Methode Nature (literally made to be comprehensible, even if its brand new then Still just like chinese spoonfed audio files, it should be fine to just play repeatedly until you pick stuff up): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLf8XN5kNFkhdIS7NMcdUdxibD1UyzNFTP - Gigafrench audio files (specifically if you have studied the related lessons already): http://gigafrench.com/construction/ - Clozemaster Radio Mode for French (however I’m not a big fan of my phone’s french voice)

Other Audio: - Dracula in french: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0hdBpzGpYY - Frankenstein in french: https://youtu.be/8AP02iALr5A - Carmilla in french: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpOWTYUar6NK8Qn7niKNw7Vp0z5YE5t7Z - Buffy francias: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x42mdjh - Merlin francais: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2crj9t

What I’d do: listen to Francais Par Le Methode Nature on repeat, spend other portion of time going through Dracula audiobook tbh (unless anyone knows an audiobook I’d enjoy more that’s easy to find). 

---

As for me specifically, realistically what I plan to do for a while:

Listen to Clozemaster radio mode Japanese and Chinese more often in down time (make the most out of the fact I have the radio mode option lol)

Listen to more chinese audiobooks, in the background, any time there’s nothing playing otherwise. (Since I really could LISTEN more often, its super easy to do during work I just don’t do it).

Actual other materials in japanese and french I probably won’t get to for a while. But if and when I do, above is a good plan for ways to include more listening practice.

---

Overall, my main July (to maybe mid-August) study plan right now:

Listening to chinese audiobooks (so more listening in general)

Listening-Reading Method Guardian or Silent Reading (or honestly anything), just doing it when I feel like it or can. (so more listening and reading in general, along with getting through more of Guardian). This activity eats up the most study time.

Reading more chinese chapters (so more reading in general, I want to up the amount I’ve read)

Trying to use Clozemaster (Listening Mode and/or Radio mode) for Japanese more. (and chinese optionally, if I want) So more basic vocab/grammar for japanese. *italic is lower priority

Lower priority, but I’m also doing these:

Reading through japanese grammar guides (specifically finishing reading Sabuki https://sakubi.neocities.org/, and my Japanese in 30 Hours book). So enough of a grammar base to read more. This should take like 4 hours max to finish if I just sit down and do it. 

Small amounts of japanese immersion (mainly reading) - right now its been playing KH2 in japanese, and reading Guardian’s japanese translation.

Translating Guardian print novel into english (so mainly reading skills, translation practice). This is much slower going than reading, so I probably won’t have much time for this project until I’m finished reading it regularly. 

[thequibblah]

20 questions for writers

ty for the tag !!! @maraudersftw

How many works do you have on AO3?

12!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

[weak laughter] 660,346

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3, just HP but in my life i’ve done more — i have no idea where they are currently floating on the internet lol

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. come together

They would fall in love eventually — but we would be remiss in ignoring the hiccups along the way. Canon multichap. Rating: T

2. wild things run fast

James Potter returns to England — and British Quidditch — after a four-year stint in Italy, desperate not to let down his childhood team. A chance meeting is about to make his rookie season a good deal more complicated. AU, twoshot (with more to come!) Rating: E

3. even just to reach is a triumph

He scoffs. “Not a single one of my mates is a pretty girl.” Then he blinks, like he didn’t mean to say it. She wants to laugh at the comical oh-shit look on his face, even as something warm and light bubbles up inside her. “You needn’t look so afraid,” she tells him. “I have been told I’m pretty before.”

AU oneshot for Summer of Jily prompt #5: stargazing + "I've got plenty of affection / I'd be glad to show you sometime." Rating: E

4. ‘tis the fucking season

Six-year absences. Yearly photograph burnings (figuratively). Low-cut tops. Two nosebleeds. Little red notebooks. The Past, with a capital P. The desire to pour your heart out to strangers (maybe pathologically). The desire to do unspeakably bad things to one James Potter. These are the ingredients that make up Lily Evans's holiday season.

Shelby the cabbie is in for a fucking ride. Modern, second chance AU. Rating: M

5. what we do in secret

She doesn’t care what other people think James does or doesn’t feel for her. She doesn’t care to hear it. She’s only ever cared about the truth: what he feels. How he tells her. How he shows her.

Oneshot for Summer of Jily prompt #7: ice cream + "I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do." Rating: M

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i like.... CANNOT have my ao3 inbox anything above 0 so yes, absolutely, all the time. but also because i just feel so AAAA whenever someone comments and i have to yell right back at them!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

part of me 😬

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

basically all of my oneshots are fluff but what we do in secret or blink three times are probably the sweetest.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i never have but honestly i could, if the idea struck!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lol no but i wish someone would try someday, it would be so cathartic to vent about

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

considering the ratings on nearly ALL those highest-kudos fics up there... yeah i’d say i do. also LOL at “what kind” i... would say that a hallmark of my smut is banter!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, and again, try me LOLLLL

Have you ever had a fic translated?

ooooh no but this would be so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but ....

What’s your all time favorite ship?

well u know

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

basically everything that starts out as a new seedling of an idea feels like this LOL and i’m going to echo claudia and say i don’t want to give away the plot bunnies i’m throwing around

What are your writing strengths?

dialogue, worldbuilding, narrative voice

What are your writing weaknesses?

i am known to bite off more than i can chew which i knoooow sounds like some dumbass “oh hahaha i’m just suchhh a hard worker that’s my biggest flaw in the workplace” bullshit but i swear it is a real learned skill to slow down and untangle the scope of an idea

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think i did this like once in a oneshot and it was school of google translate speaking but uhhh i don’t have thoughts haha do what you like

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

this one!

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

well come together did get me back into writing fic, but i will say probably wild things run fast — i am pretty proud of both the setting detail and the voice there, and it was my first time writing fic with a first-person narrator, which i normally HATE. i think i stuck the landing :)

Tagging: @emeralddoeadeer @jilyss @adenei @cesays @startanewdream !

[spaceskam]

The Golden Boy

hey look i finally finished that fic i’ve been giving sneak peeks about for months

warning: past child abuse, sexual content

ao3 

In Bacchus Year 9 (Earth year 1782), Antar and Earth signed a peace treaty.

The treaty meant requiring many social gatherings on either planet, kind gestures between royals, and many public statements against prejudice of each other's people. It even led to Earth assisting the rebels during the Antarian Civil War in Bacchus Year Final (Earth Year 1834), stating proudly that they signed the treaty for the people, not the monarchs. As one would assume, that line went over fantastically with the public.

They heavily supported the rise of King Atlas Gudrun, a man of great people skills and desire to help, in Gudrun Year 0 (Earth Year 1844). The Gudrun family (which had been anglicized on Earth to Guerin) had been ruling on Antar ever since and had always done their best to keep up their loyal companionship with Earth and its leaders.

It all led to this moment in Gudrun Year 176 (Earth year 2020) where Prince Michael of Antar, fourth of his name, son of King Heinar, known for his charm and wit, had Prince Alex, first of his name, adoptive son of King James Valenti, known for his intellect and beauty, completely strung out and naked against sheets made of the finest Antarian silks.

"How long until the little pest makes you leave?" Michael asked softly, trailing his fingers over the dip of Alex's slightly crooked collarbone. Alex's eyes were closed and his lips were parted and if Michael didn't know any better, he'd think he was asleep. But he did know better and he knew he was simply in a state of bliss that only occured in moments like this.

Their one off tryst had actually occurred more than once, but it wasn't frequent enough to call it a thing. They saw each other a few times a year if they were lucky and could steal a few hours each time to sneak away. If they were supremely lucky, they could even take a night. They weren't this time.

"He said we have until six before we have to be taken to get ready for dinner," Alex whispered, not bothering to correct him for calling his brother a pest while slowly turning onto his side and letting his forehead hit Michael's shoulder. Michael pouted.

"I miss you already," he admitted stupidly, combing through Alex's long hair. He'd seen a picture of him with it all shaved off and had met him when it was short, but apparently he hadn't cut it at all since he'd been given the title of prince. Michael didn't mind.

"You come to Earth in a month, don't you? Ask to stay longer, I’m sure we could easily explain away a reason you should stay in my home," Alex whispered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"If you come up with a good reason for me, I'll do it. I'm bad at excuse making," Michael grumbled. Alex smiled and lifted his hand, his cold fingertips pressing to Michael's cheek and his lips.

"I'll cause a national disaster if it means getting you alone for one night," Alex said. Michael stared for a moment before grabbing him and rolling him into his back, stealing a series of slow, deep, open mouthed kisses that only came so easily because they were with him.

Michael adored the way Alex grabbed at him, hands never staying one place too long because he wanted to touch everywhere. He wanted to remember everywhere. He wanted him in his entirety. He could never find the words for how it made him felt to be wanted so strongly if only for a night.

"Please never leave," Michael begged against his skin. Alex said nothing.

Instead, the bedroom door was very rudely and unceremoniously thrown open. Michael instinctively covered Alex’s bare skin and looked towards the doorway. On the other side, Michael's guard, Adonis, stood with his back to them in some silly act of respect while Kyle stood with his arms crossed while looking really irritated. He walked in farther and closed the door behind him. Or, tried. Adonis stuck his hand to block it from closing entirely. He trusted Alex to be alone with the prince. Kyle was still earning that.

"Get up, we have to go get ready," Kyle said. He had no shame, truly, as he sat on the bed. Michael fell face first into the pillows and groaned. "Excuse you, I'm doing you a favor."

"You're interrupting," Alex corrected, tan fingers idly rubbing over Michael's shoulder.

"I disagree. I think I just lied to two fucking monarchs that we three princes were going to be hanging out and doing princely things when, in reality, I was playing some fucked version of Go Fish with Adonis while you two snuck away for your intergalactic booty call," Kyle explained. Michael groaned even more.

"How vulgar must you be?" he asked. Kyle raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, you wanna go there? I've seen your U-Mails to Alex. 'Oh, how I long to get your mouth on my–'"

"Enough!" Alex silenced him, shifting to a sitting position. Michael wanted to cry that it was over so soon. Especially when they still had to sit across the table from each other and pretend he hadn't just had him to himself. "Leave and let me get dressed, then we can go."

"Finally," Kyle groaned, patting Michael on the back before he went, "Good to see you, Prince Sexual Frustration."

The door closed if only because Adonis insisted on the prince being kept away from anyone who might catch him in a vulnerable state. Alex took the opportunity to move back for a few more kisses, all of them feeling more and more like goodbye. He remembered a time when he didn't mind goodbyes. Now they felt like a death sentence.

“Stop pouting,” Alex told him softly as he slowly weaned him off his lips, “This isn’t the end of the night. I’ll still see you at dinner and I still don’t leave until tomorrow morning.”

“But you leave so early,” Michael whined, “And at dinner, there’s people.” 

Alex traced a finger from Michael’s temple down to his jaw, moving his thumb up between their mouths. He gently grazed Michael’s bottom lip before pushing down on the sore skin.

“I’ve read countless articles about all the wondrous things you say, how well spoken you are, how you can charm anyone to their knees in four languages,” Alex said, voice hot, “If only they could see the way you beg.”

Michael huffed a sad laugh, knowing Alex was trying to distract him from his sad thoughts and deciding to play along. Alex pushed his face away and went to get up. Michael pushed himself off the bed and caught Alex’s bicep, unskillfully pulling him down on top of him.

“You are the only one allowed to see me beg,” Michael said. Alex smiled at him, honest and bold as ever. He laid his weight on Michael completely, trusting him not to treat that little act with anything but kindness. It was the most beautiful thing Michael had ever been given. 

He went to move up for another kiss, but he was horrifically sidelined when Alex dodged him and pushed him back into the bed to get himself up. Michael remembered the first time Alex had pushed him. His first reaction had been anger that a silly little Earth man would dare to touch him that way. But his second reaction had been absolute delight when he realized he’d only been pushed because Alex wanted him against the wall. They were so young then. Somehow, things hadn’t really changed.

Alex got out of bed and grabbed the prosthetic leg that he somehow didn’t mind Michael seeing him without. He moved with agile fingers to put it back on in record time before he stood and stretched his body out in objectively the most unfair way that existed. He was long and lean, muscular and tan. And he was covered in scars. No two scars were more than a hands-length apart, Michael had tried. He kept them hidden usually and he kept their origin firmly to himself (including how he lost his leg), but Michael had been blessed with the sight of them. They were 16 the first time they kissed in the halls of the palace, but 18 before he saw Alex’s body in its full glory. It was a small gift, but one that he treasured on nights he felt more alone than he could bear. 

“Stop staring at me like I’ve just ruined your entire day,” Alex laughed as he pulled on those ugly clothes that Earth called formal. His pants were a stiff, tan fabric and his shirt was an equally stiff white thing that buttoned up all the way up to hide his collarbone. The clothing was ugly, but the man inside was beautiful and it simply made him look neutral. How decidedly boring.

“Oh, what the hell is that?” Michael scoffed.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what a belt is,” Alex said, giving him a fond smile as he pulled the folded thing from the deep pocket of his pants. He hadn’t been wearing it when Michael got him alone.

“Yes, but where did it come from?”

“Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t remove it so I wouldn’t waste time when I saw you,” Alex said, flashing a cocky little smile and it reminded Michael all over again why his people had been so okay with making him an eligible heir despite his lack of birthright. How could anyone deprive a face like that of the entire world? “But don’t worry. You and your mother both find Earth clothing to be a personal insult, so I’m sure they’ll have something nice and alien for me to wear.”

And they did. Michael had gotten his sister to see to it that they put Alex in gold if only for his personal enjoyment. Soon, he’d be in loose, silk pants and a long-sleeved, knee-length tunic that happened to be a very specific shade of gold that would probably make it difficult to focus at dinner but it would be worth it. Typically, their tunics would have a deep v-cut neckline (Michael’s in particular going to his navel as a show of both his age and his marriage status) but he knew Alex and he knew he didn’t like his scars on display, so he made sure they knew to keep it more modest and to also have an option to put something beneath it if he wasn’t comfortable. It was the least he could do.

With a flick of his wrist, Michael fastened the upper half of the buttons on Alex’s shirt so he could steal a few more seconds to kiss him. Alex rolled his eyes, but he went along willingly as Michael got to his hands and knees on his mattress and crawled over to him. Alex shook his head and caught his face in his hand, guiding him up and giving him a kiss that truly was too explicit to mark the end.

“After everyone goes to bed, I’ll get Luke to sneak me to Adonis,” Alex whispered, ignoring the sound of Kyle’s sudden annoyed knocking. Michael nodded in his grasp and turned his face to press a kiss to his palm. That should’ve been an unscarred place, but there was an unmistakable line of discolored, raised skin down the middle. Michael kissed it without fear or disgust and Alex pressed his hand against his mouth in approval. “I plan to make it so you won’t be able to walk in the morning.”

Michael laughed, “People will talk.”

“Let them.”

“You know,” Kyle said, busting in again and Adonis quickly stood in the doorway after his entrance to shield whatever incriminating position Alex and Michael might be in, “You two take more time to get dressed than it takes a majority of people in existence.”

“Blame the leg,” Alex said simply, his smile cocky as he pulled away from Michael. He kissed the tip of his nose and patted his cheek in the most loving way he could. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Not soon enough.”

“Never.”

“I’m gagging,” Kyle said in a monotone voice. Alex rolled his eyes and let his hands slip off of Michael, leaving him cold and lonely despite being far from alone. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be asked questions I can’t answer without incriminating myself.”

“We’re going,” Alex said, already following him to the door. He spared Michael one last look and a wink before disappearing with Luke, the final person who knew what was going on between them. 

Luke, Adonis, and Kyle only knew out of necessity. It was sort of an unspoken agreement between royal bodyguards and the royal children they looked after that they cover up every stupid decision they made as long as it wasn’t hurting anyone. Michael figured he could actually make an argument that this did hurt him, but that seemed frivolous at best. 

“Get up, little prince, you’ve got to get ready for dinner,” Adonis said as he entered the room once Alex and Kyle were gone. Michael pouted and dramatically fell backwards against the bed. Adonis chuckled under his breath. 

“Don’t call me little,” Michael said half-heartedly, easily slipping out of English and into his native tongue.

“I’ve been watching over you since you were small enough to get lost beneath your bed,” he said, “You will always be little to me, little prince.”

Michael glared at the ceiling. While he knew Adonis was right, he didn’t feel little. He knew, objectively, he was nearly 21 and he was nowhere near getting any kind of responsibilities outside the ones he had. Max was the one joining the military, Isobel was the one training to be queen, Michael was the baby who was left to do little more than indulge in his desires without consequences and be the face of the younger generation. He was friendly and charming and had women and men alike all screaming their appreciation for his face and his body and his smile all over the internet. He liked that attention and he liked just being able to go to parties and have fun and have people he met make posts about how fun it was to hang out with the prince. His father didn’t exactly approve, but it didn’t matter when the people did. They liked that he was young and real and approachable.

But there was something about Alex that made him feel more like a man than he could put into words. Alex was a few months younger than him, but he had seen more than Michael could imagine. He didn’t party, he didn’t drink, he didn’t do anything that could be a sign of weakness. He was beautiful, but he was a brilliant strategizer and worked closely with his adoptive father for many important decisions regarding the ruling of the kingdom. Kyle was the one who was approachable; Alex could barely spare a kind smile to the press and adoring people. People still liked him, but it wasn’t a secret he was straight-edged and hardened. Michael seemed to be his only vice. It was so… adult.

“Must I affiliate myself with foreign monarchs over food?” Michael asked helplessly, “Isn’t it enough to simply blow his son in my free time?”

Adonis sighed, but he seemed as amused as he always was when it came to Michael.

“Words to live by, little prince.”

-

“I’m judging you so hard right now.”

“Like I care.”

Kyle groaned and rolled his eyes as Luke followed them to their quarters. The Antarian royal family had a lot of land they resided on that had a secure gate around it, but they didn’t really believe in castles. Instead, it was a bunch of houses and special rooms, all connected by paths that were lined with well tended to gardens. 

“What’s even the point? Like, is this gonna amount to anything, or am I expected to die with this secret?” Kyle asked. Alex shrugged his shoulders dismissively. He and Michael didn’t talk about serious things. They were princes and dealt with so much bullshit. They kept each other as a safe place to unwind. “Great, I am expected to die with this.”

“It comes with the title, Your Highness,” Luke said simply. Kyle tilted his head back as he groaned again. Alex simply shook his head in amusement.

When they got back to the visitor’s quarters, three people were waiting for them to help them into their Antarian garb. There were a few different styles for different royal occasions, but, as visitors, they were typically given standard tunics. He remembered one visit when Michael had him sent special robes and wraps his way, ones like he wore when he was feeling extra, and he’d gotten so confused in trying to put it on that they now always sent an extra hand to make sure they wore it correctly. As confusing as they were, though, Alex was sure he would know how to put them on now. He’d taken them off Michael enough times.

“Thank you,” Alex said graciously as he accepted the fabrics. He went into his own room to change and would return back to let them make their adjustments. He wasn’t a big fan of people seeing his body. That meant questions and he wasn’t keen on answering those.

He laid the fabrics out on the bed so he could see what he was working with. As always, since he was 18, all of it was golden. Michael had some weird obsession with him in gold, but he never asked why. He thought it looked nice enough on him. 

The tunic had intricate leaf-like patterns embroidered into it that Alex couldn’t even begin to understand how long it took to achieve, but the pants were thankfully plain. Then there was a golden silk wrap and he smiled at whoever paid that much attention to detail. He grabbed it first and stood in front of the mirror as he wrapped it around his chest, covering any scars the low cut tunic might expose.

There were very few people who had seen those scars, most of which were purely out of an inability to hide them. If someone had told him when he was being tended to after losing his leg that one of those people awarded the visual of his skin would’ve been an Antarian Prince, he would’ve laughed in their face. His father had hated the Antarians more than he hated Alex. He was supposed to stay away.

But then the king got involved, Jim Valenti creating a huge uproar as he worked to change the rules that would mean Alex could be an eligible heir. And now he was. Which meant he had to work with Antarian officials at the ripe old age of fifteen, suddenly going from a maimed soldier to a pretty little prince. The first year seemed to be full of rigorous re-training of his brain to be good at the social part of things. The second year he was brought to Antar for the first time.

He distinctly remembered the first time he saw Michael, young and carefree and absolutely shameless. He had outwardly chosen Alex to fawn over for the extent of their stay, constantly sending smiles and winks and batting his eyelashes. He leaned too close when they talked and kept offering to show him where things were. Alex had disliked his abrasiveness to the point that, the closer he got, the more it set off his fight or flight reflexes. He almost hit him three times before Michael seemed to get the memo.

When the Antarian royal family traveled to Earth for their public appearances, Michael was much more tame. Unlike the rest of his family, he’d opted out of donning more of Earth’s style of clothing. There was something so bold about the way he walked around in his wraps and robes, all of it loose and seemingly hanging onto him just barely. It had exposed a good portion of his chest and his arms, even his thighs if he walked a certain way. Earth was too hot to cover more, he’d said. That’s when Alex really saw him. He was annoying as all hell, but he would be damned if someone tried to shame him into changing himself even for a moment. Alex had kissed him before he went home which was absolutely Alex’s fault. It was his favorite mistake.

“Gold always looks good on you,” Fides said as Alex walked back into the main room. He smiled his thanks and she led him to a chair to fix his face and his hair. She was the only one he trusted near him with all the tools that it took to make him look nice enough for the queen.

It seemed to be an hour before she was done, but it was worth it. Alex’s hair was braided into intricate six-strand braids that made a makeshift crown around his head and other tiny ones throughout the rest of his hair while the majority of it stayed down and was loosely curled where it rested against his shoulders. His eyes had thick and bold black eyeliner that seemed to bleed into gold eyeshadow which led to a leaf-like design that matched the pattern of his tunic that stretched to his sideburns, over his cheekbones, and above his eyebrows. His lips only had a thin layer of gloss over them, but he looked good and a part of him wondered if Michael would agree.

He knew he would.

“Thank you, Fides,” Alex said. She gave him a sweet smile and packed up her things. It was in Antarian’s blood to touch, but Fides respected Alex’s taste for it and, although he gave her permission to do his makeup, didn’t push him for more. It made her one of his favorite people.

It seemed achingly long before Kyle was done. He had a similar get-up to Alex, but his short hair was left alone and his face was more of just glittery and not in any particular design. It wasn’t long before their stylists excused themselves and went to do whatever they did in the main house. Alex and Kyle collapsed on the couch in time to Alex’s phone dinging to signify a U-Mail. He flipped through fabric to find which discreet pocket he’d slipped it into.

Eventually, he found it and he put effort into keeping his face straight as he sat Michael’s screen name cross his screen.

definitelynottheprince: My bed is cold and yet smells like your skin. It is the cruelest combination that has ever existed. How am I expected to be presentable at dinner while being mocked by the fabric that refused to keep your body in it’s grasp? My heart aches.

Alex somehow managed to keep his face seemingly uninterested despite the fact he wanted to both smile and make fun of him for being melodramatic.

HRH.AMV: You’re incorrigible.

Michael’s response wasn’t in English, but Alex was thankful it wasn’t if the few words he could pick out from his shotty language classes taught him anything. He understood the words floor, bed, week, and what was technically spoon but was slang for something that Alex knew had to be vulgar. Michael had a way with words in all four languages he knew and all of those ways were melodramatic and raunchy.

HRH.AMV: Does a moment ever pass where you’re not thinking about sex?

definitelynottheprince: Who says I’m thinking about sex?

HRH.AMV: I know you.

definitelynottheprince: You do. Then you should know the things I want to do with you aren’t all sexual.

It was one tiny word that made Alex’s blood run hot and he locked his phone so he didn’t have to think about it. With. Not to. He couldn’t explain why that was so exhilarating.

“Are you seriously making plans to get laid again already?” Kyle asked, “Literally how? Who has the stamina for all that?”

“Clearly not you,” Alex shot back. Kyle made a face mockingly.

“I just don’t get it,” Kyle sighed in exasperation, “Like, if it was Isobel, I’d get it.”

“So you’re homophobic?”

“No, let me finish,” Kyle scoffed and Alex waved him on while Luke watched with a bemused expression from where he leaned against the wall, “Isobel, I get it. She’s hot and could probably crush me. Max, I kinda get it, he’s nice and has that whole good-boy-soldier thing going for him. But Michael? The dude is known for being chill, I get it, but he loses all the charm when you see him five minutes after a party and he’s throwing up in the garden. Or how about the fact that he refuses to learn my name and just refers to me as the pest.”

“In his defense, you are a pest to him,” Alex pointed out.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Sorry, I failed to hear a question.”

Luke snorted and Kyle fixed Alex with a look. He wasn’t quite sure what he expected to get out of him. Alex had never been a secret-sharer, even when they were young and played toy soldiers in the little yard outside the palace. That had only gotten worse as Jim Valenti became king and, instead of listening to his former right hand man Jesse Manes, had him publicly tried for war crimes. His tight-lipped nature extended to his personal relationships, much to Kyle’s dismay.

“The question was how did you get involved with him in the first place? Because I’ve been trying to figure out how you two even get along since you started hooking up two years ago,” Kyle said, voice so honest Alex didn’t bother pointing out that it had been much longer than two years and Kyle just hadn’t noticed. “Just… make it make sense.”

Alex rolled his neck and tried to think about what exactly it was about Michael that made it hard to look away from him but also made it easy to go so long without speaking. As attached as they were when they were on the same planet and as much as they communicated in the weeks before and the weeks after, there were typically multiple days they went without so much as a word between them. They did their own duties and this thing they had found themselves in wasn’t a part of that. Michael spun romantic words for him, but Alex wasn’t his only pastime and probably never would be.

“He’s…” Alex trailed off, trying to find the words and settling on something that did the man no justice, “Simple.”

“Simple as in stupid?” Kyle asked dully.

“Simple as in not a problem,” Luke corrected.

“Simple as in he doesn’t ask questions,” Alex finalized. He meant it to be sort of lighthearted, but Kyle turned to him with concerned eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” he asked, but quickly decided to answer himself with another question, “You mean he doesn’t know about‒”

“No,” Alex said dismissively, carefully pushing himself to his feet and subtly checking his balance, “And he never will. We have dinner to attend to.”

Alex sort of checked out mentally for his own good after that, the walk to the dining hall and finding their seats completely a blur. He only seemed to come back to consciousness when Michael made his grand entrance. His robes and wraps were a dark red, hardly hanging onto his body as always. It exposed his chest more than anything else, the dangerous placement exposing the beginnings of the trail of hair beneath his navel. His head was held high, a thin gold band sitting atop his perfect curls. His eyes had cloudy red makeup surrounding them and his lips were painted gold. Alex smiled carefully to himself as he admired him.

Kyle was really the only one who actually looked forward to the food Antar had to offer. Alex didn’t hate it, but he would choose a pot of mac and cheese over the under-cooked meat of an animal that had no English name. Michael had tried to teach him how to say it, but it had way too many syllables and way too many consonants that Alex just couldn’t keep up. He’d just laughed and kissed him and never brought it up again.

“So, Prince Alex,” the smooth voice of Michael’s mother, the queen, said in her thick accent, capturing his attention. Queen Celeano (Lady No if she liked you) was a beautiful woman, but if that’s all someone took her for, they’d be sorely mistaken. 

She ran things more than her husband did, her iron fist impossible to ignore. She was fiercely protective of her children and rightfully skeptical of everyone who entered her home. But she seemed to like Alex. She never raised her voice or gave him that demanding tone she used on everyone else. The tone she used on him was motherly and made him eager to please her. When he was alone, he envied that Michael got that tone of voice from her all the time. 

“Michael said you were in school. Are you going to classes with other people or do you have a tutor?”

“Oh,” he said, shifting in his seat and hoping he was presentable enough for her, “Both. I go to only one class in a school every week, typically. I do like being there, but it’s difficult to balance everything with adding travel time and dealing with the stress of being in a crowded area.”

“Of course,” Lady No said, smiling, “And you’re doing well? It’s not easy I'm sure."

"I'm doing well. I'm studying poly-sci and I'm focusing on international relations right now," he explained. Alex's eyes involuntarily slid to Michael, watching him hide his smile by shoving food into his mouth with a two-pronged fork.

"Good. And languages, are you working on learning ours?" Lady No asked, seemingly oblivious to her son's antics. When Alex said he was, she followed it with a sentence in her own tongue that Alex could hardly decipher.

"...no?" he answered half-heartedly. Every Antarian in the room chuckled to themselves and Alex tried not to be offended by that.

"I asked if you were interested in becoming fluent," she said, still smiling easily, "I'm sure it'll come eventually."

"If he was here more often, I could make him learn,” Michael said boldly. 

"But obviously that's a bigger discussion to have," Alex covered quickly, hoping for an underlying message of ‘I care about your son but I’m not trying to destroy his innocence I swear’.

"Yes, a bigger discussion," Lady No said, nodding. 

"Maybe you could convince him into doing more schooling. I'm sure it'd sound better coming from you," King Heinar said gruffly. Michael gave an award-winning smile to his father which just earned a sigh.

The rest of the dinner went by slowly, but Alex's mind already started coming up with ways to make that suggestion a reality.

-

Michael was giddy after dinner and he found himself pacing his room while waiting for Alex. 

Within the hour, there was a knock on Michael’s bedroom door and he opened it to find Adonis and Alex.

“Thank you!” Michael told Adonis dismissively as he grabbed Alex by the bicep and tugged him into the privacy of his room. Both of them laughed, but Michael didn’t care as he immediately went in for a kiss. 

Alex was still decked out in his pretty clothes and his pretty makeup and Michael was high on everything. He was going to get to go to Earth and he was going to get to spend every single night in bed with him. It softened the blow that he would be leaving in only a handful of hours.

“Do you think we can set an alarm?” Michael asked through kisses, “So you can sleep with me for just a little while?”

“Yeah,” Alex agreed, nodding his head. Michael smiled.

“Yay.” 

“Before you get carried away, can we get this off my face so I don’t stain your pillow?” Alex asked, pulling out of the kiss a little breathlessly.

“Yeah, of course,” Michael said, leaving Alex with a simple kiss as he went to his vanity where he grabbed a cloth and makeup remover. 

He went back to Alex who had sat on the bed. He had the tunic bunched up and was slowly pulling it over his head without getting any makeup on the fabric. Michael grinned and helped get it the rest of the way off with a simple move of his eyes. Alex acknowledged his act with a shake of the head.

Alex scooted back just a little and leaned back on his hands. Michael perched himself on his lap and spared a simple kiss to the spot on his chest right above the wrap he hadn’t removed before getting to work on his face.

Michael had vivid memories of the confusingly slow process that was getting Alex to trust him with his body. He wasn’t sure why, but the search results that came up when Michael looked up his birth father told him it wasn’t due to a loving childhood. Still, he didn't look too far into it because that seemed like an all too obvious breech of Alex's personal boundaries.

Their first kiss had ended in Alex pinning his wrists to the wall whenever he tried to grab his waist. After that was years of every meeting involving gradual progress in Alex’s comfort levels. Hell, they were still making progress. It started with Michael not being allowed to touch him anywhere, his hands always being tucked behind his back or pinned down as Alex kissed him or touched him where he wanted to be touched all while fully clothed. They were seventeen the first time Alex had stripped Michael bare and yet kept himself covered. It was the most vulnerable Michael had ever felt in his life. As a reward for that trust, Alex let him touch his biceps when they kissed and his hair when Alex went down on him.

On Michael’s 18th birthday, Alex had taken his shirt off for the first time. Michael hadn’t been allowed to touch his scarred body with his hands, but he got to be chest to chest with him while he touched himself which had absolutely solidified his infatuation with him. 

The next time he saw him, after sharing pictures and conversations from the safety of being on separate planets, Alex had gotten completely stripped too (with the exception of his prosthetic). That time had been a little different in a few ways. There was no touching at all, but Michael got to watch him get himself off and Alex had watched him right back. Then Alex had locked himself in the bathroom for 30 minutes. But, when he came back out, fully dressed, he’d crawled into bed and they cuddled for the first time. 

Even though Kyle had ruined it by busting in, Michael remembered that night as the moment things really changed between them. It no longer felt like a game that made Michael feel giddy. It’d taken him a long time, too long, to fully realize the weight of what Alex was giving him and that it wasn’t a game to Alex at all. It never had been. That’s when Michael started laying on the sweet talking as thick as he wanted.

Two years after that realization, Michael was given free reign of Alex’s body with few restrictions. He could touch designated places with his hands: his face, his biceps, his thighs, his upper chest, and his hips. Michael could go down on him, but his hands had to be in visible areas and Alex typically chose to pin them down during it so he didn’t have to think. More often than not, Michael would still lay on his back with his hands tucked beneath him while Alex took over his mouth. No questions asked other than ‘is this okay?’. It made every step hold more weight than his casual hookups had. There was not a single thing boring or pointless about having Alex Manes in his bed.

“Up,” Alex dictated when Michael finished with his face and Michael listened without argue.

Alex removed his pants and got to work to take off his prosthetic. Instead of making Alex uncomfortable by staring, he turned the cloth to a clean corner before pouring a little remover on it and beginning to wipe at his own face. Alex took over when he put his prosthetic to the side.

“So, I may have thought of an excuse on how to get you to stay longer on my planet,” Alex said cooly, holding Michael’s chin in his hands as he wiped his face clean. His eyes were closed while Alex cleaned them, but that didn’t stop him from smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

“Go on," Michael said, unable to hide the giddy tone in his voice. Alex hummed.

“You could do a semester of schooling there,” he suggested, "More if you like it."

Michael peeked open the eye that Alex wasn’t working on. “School?"

“School,” Alex said, his voice still controlled and face stoic despite literally sitting in nothing but his briefs and a wrap, “You could stay in the palace.”

"That's a long time."

"Yes, well," Alex sighed, "One semester is a few months. Then you could go home. And there's plenty of people who I'm sure would love to get their hands on an Antarian prince."

"Plenty of people?" Michael huffed, "What about you?"

"I'll be there when you want me," Alex said simply, but it was clearly an open invitation.

Michael wasn’t quite sure why Alex was trying to give him the option to opt out. The whole reason he wanted to go to Earth was to be with Alex. Michael already had his mind set on spending all of his free time with Alex while he was there. It would be difficult navigating being Princes from different planets while keeping their relationship a secret, but they could do it. Michael could make anything happen if it meant having Alex. He didn't know why Alex didn't see that.

“I would spend every night in your bed,” Michael said, leaning closer. Alex leaned back and held his face at bay. Michael knew better than to take offense to that and just kept smiling. “Don't be so scared of me.”

"I'm not scared of you." 

“You are,” he teased which Alex really didn't seem to like because he glared, "It'll be okay. No one's going to find out. Your home is a safe place for a foreign Prince, all the security. Perfect. And Luke and Adonis will help cover our tracks. We're safe and I want you.”

“You seem so confident that things will work out,” Alex said skeptically. Michael grinned.

“If I’m with you, I’ll always make things work.”

Alex let him come closer for a kiss and he pressed in hard right back. Michael could feel the tension radiating off him and cautiously reached his hand out to place on his thigh. He didn’t add any pressure, but he rubbed his thumb in circles until Alex stopped stressing so much.

“This is good,” Michael told him, “Isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s good,” he agreed, breaking the kiss only to get a good view of his face to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Alex tossed the cloth off to the side and cupped the side of Michael’s neck in his hand. They stared at each other for a moment as Alex let it sink it. It was easy to forget how nervous Alex was to accept anything good. But Michael was going to make sure he finally started accepting that he deserved them. “Wouldn’t you miss your random one night stands?”

“Why would I when I had you with me all the time?” Michael asked. Alex scanned his face again.

“I’m temporary,” he said. Michael shook his head.

“I want to be with you,” he said honestly. He’d said those words in a lot of different ways, but that was the first time he’d said them so directly. He saw Alex swallow harshly before just going in for another kiss. Michael didn’t mind.

Alex laid him back into the bed, his hands slipping easily into the wraps around his body to get to his skin. Michael put his hand on Alex’s cheek and kept it there. The prospect of getting more of him than little moments a few times a year was exhilarating. Imagining his bed smelling like him at all times was almost too much. Things were going to be better than he could’ve dreamed.

He carefully moved his other hand to the wrap on Alex’s chest.

“Can I take this off?” 

Alex agreed without hesitation.

-

Things happened extremely quickly.

The door slammed open and Alex woke up in defensive mode. Too many nights his father had come into his bedroom as a test, making sure he was alert. That wasn’t something that could ever be un-taught. So, just like his father taught, he grabbed the knife that he always kept within reaching distance and threw it at the doorway with unparalleled precision.

It was only when Adonis dodged it by using his telekinesis that Alex even realized it wasn’t his dad or an intruder. He didn’t apologize, though, and he didn’t feel guilty. Who just busts into someone’s room? So he reached for his prosthetic and started to quickly put it on even though he didn’t know what was going on.

Michael woke up at that moment and lazily started rambling in Antarian. Adonis had already locked the door behind him and was in the process of moving Michael’s armoire in front of the singular window in his room. All that told Alex was that something was wrong and so he picked up the pace.

Adonis answered Michael in clipped Antarian, his voice rugged in a way that it never was and chills covered Alex’s skin. He grabbed the pants that he’d worn the night before and the wrap, putting them on as quickly as he could.

“What?” Michael asked, still in a different language but Alex understood that much. Alex started towards the door to retrieve his knife. 

Adonis answered him in that same rough tone, sparing Alex a glance as he did so. Most of the words flew over his head, but he’d overheard enough Antarian’s speak about him that he caught one word. His whole body froze and he looked over at Adonis, feeling every bit of that soldier his father had raised slowly build back up inside him. He’d tried so hard to not be that person anymore, but at the simple word ‘Prince’ there was no keeping it at bay.

“Kyle?” Alex asked carefully, voice devoid of emotion, “Is he alive?”

Adonis sighed and turned to him, an apologetic look in his eyes.

“Yes,” he answered in English, “He was shot at, but the bullet just grazed the side of his head. From where we think the shooter was standing, it looks like it was meant to be a direct execution-style shot, but it was swerved at the last minute when they realized they had the wrong prince.”

Alex lifted his chin.

“How do you do know it was because they had the wrong prince?” Alex asked. Truthfully, he knew he was right. No one wanted to assassinate Kyle. On both planets, the Valentis were well loved. Jim listened to his people and accommodated them and that made him easy to respect and appreciate. Kyle was an extension of that and he was loved even more. Alex was like, sure, but he had one person who would be willinging to put a hit out on him and he couldn’t be shocked to discover it finally happened.

“It’s a theory, but we don’t know why it would’ve missed if it hadn’t been and then there wasn’t a follow up shot,” Adonis explained.

“Right,” Alex said, nodding curtly, “I’ve got to go.”

“What?!” Michael nearly squeaked and Adonis shot him a look to tell him to be quiet, “You’re not going anywhere when there’s someone out there that wants to kill you!”

“I already know who it is,” Alex said, “Or, who paid them. My father isn’t stupid enough to do it himself.”

“Your father?” Michael asked, “Why would the king‒”

“Michael,” Adonis said sharply. Michael looked up at him and then back over to Alex.

“You aren’t going anywhere. Stay here. It’s safe here,” Michael said. Alex huffed a laugh.

“And willingly put you in danger? Absolutely not. You’re already in danger by being affiliated with me.”

“But why would it be your dad, Alex?” Michael asked, slowly stumbling out of bed, “I mean, you got adopted years ago, why the hell would he wait to do it now? And on a different planet? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Except it did make sense. If Michael knew the first thing about his father, then it would make complete sense. But he didn’t. Because Alex didn’t share. He didn’t share anything. He’d enjoyed so much that Michael never asked any questions or prodded, but now it seemed he waited too long for an explanation and all the questions were coming at once.

“It doesn’t matter, I need to go,” Alex said.

“Wait,” Adonis said firmly, his eyes closed as he honed in on whatever other guards were telling him telepathically, “They found the guy. Hired assassin. Give up your dad’s name easy.”

“I believe that,” Alex said. Michael was still staring at him, still waiting for him to explain or do something worthwhile. Alex didn’t have anything to give him.

“Alex,” Michael called softly, holding out a hand to him in hope he’d come back to bed. But Alex was awake and needed to go be with his family. “It’s alright.”

“We’ll talk later,” Alex said, nearing him and giving him a kiss on the forehead, “Luke should be waiting to walk me back.”

“No,” Michael argued, grabbing his hand and holding him in place. Fear shot through Alex’s body at the act, that siren going off in his mind that told him he was trapped. He yanked his hand away and glared at Michael who looked pathetic. Maybe Alex was wrong to think being with a man who’s issues paled in comparison to his was a good idea. He would never understand. “Alex, there could be more than one assassin. Stay until light. Someone could hurt you.”

“Let them try,” he said cooly and he left Michael’s room. Adonis followed to make sure he would be okay, but Luke was waiting at the door. His face was stoic, but he had bags beneath his eyes and a set jaw that told him it’d been a long night.

He led the way back to the visitor’s building where Kyle was being patched up by the medic that resided on the royal’s grounds. They were both on high alert the whole walk, but Alex assumed it was probably for drastically different reasons.

“His Majesty is handling the assassin with Lady No and Sir Heinar. They’re trying to see who failed so spectacularly at their job,” Luke said. Alex breathed a tight sigh as he sat on the bed. Kyle was leaning back in bed with drugged eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Alex told him.

“Why? If you were here, you would’ve died,” Kyle said, voice slurred by whatever they’d given him. Alex shook his head.

“I would’ve preferred that over you getting hurt in my absence,” Alex said.

“Oh, fuck off,” Kyle scoffed. Alex managed a smile. “You getting laid is clearly a lifesaver, so that thank the prince for me, will you?”

Alex’s eyes widened at his brazen statement in front of  ears that didn’t deserve it. He glanced at the medic who was stitching up the side of Kyle’s head. They seemed unphased by the admission. 

“Do not worry,” they said, voice thick with an accent that made Michaels’ seem nonexistent, “I am a royal medic for a reason.”

Alex took that as a promise of their lips staying sealed. He turned his attention back to Kyle.

“Where is Prince Boy Toy anyway? Is he all worried about you?” Kyle mocked. Alex rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t care about that,” Alex insisted. Kyle quirked a lazy eyebrow.

“Huh? You don’t care that he cares about you?”

“He was a bad idea,” Alex said simply. Kyle snorted.

“Well, yeah, at first, but he’s good for you. Makes you less of a rock,” Kyle said. Alex barely had time to process that before Kyle changed the subject. “Can’t believe your dad tried to kill you. I knew he was an asshole, but, damn.”

“I just can’t understand how he got an Antarian to go through it. Isn’t he still in prison? How did he even pull that off?” Luke asked. Kyle scoffed and they both started brainstorming ways. Alex slowly tuned out the conversation.

His entire life, his father had haunted him. He trained him to be a soldier in all the ways he knew how: tying Alex down and making him figure out how to escape, wrapping a rope around his stomach and having him lug objects like cattle, tying weights to his ankles to make sure he could always run even in times in distress, and that only scratched the surface. He put his hands on him when he didn’t act like he was taught and he had since was little. It only got worse as Alex got older, covering his body in scars until he got to the worst of them all: his leg. During a training session, he’d tied thin wires to each of his limbs. It took Alex hours to get them off, but, by the time he got to his last leg, it’d been virtually impossible to salvage. His ankle had already been broken three times and now it had a severe loss of blood flow. They said they could try to save it, but he’d probably be in pain forever. They made the unanimous decision that it had to go. Which is when Jim finally had enough.

But the damage was done. Alex had already been littered with scars that would never heal, mentally and physically. Alex still remembered his father mocking Antarians for the way they dressed and everything they showed. Part of him wondered if that’s why he was so deliberate about the scars‒with them there, he would never show off his body like that and never get the attention he wanted from other boys. He still got it though. That only seemed to make his father more angry. How dare his only son have an interest in other boys, who would carry on the family name? 

The thing was, Alex had biological brothers. None of them really survived his father’s torture like he did. They either broke under the pressure or they really didn’t survive. Alex was resilient though, he was his father’s favorite, he was the golden boy. And wasn’t that just impossible to comprehend? How could he be the favorite and yet still treated that way?

It was even harder to think that he was lucky. Sure, he still couldn’t look at himself in the mirror and he got uncomfortable when men gave him attention and he still couldn’t let Michael touch him in so many places, but he was lucky. And his father knew that. And he was angry.

And his voice was still in Alex’s mind. It made it impossible to accept Michael’s sentiments that he wanted him for more than something temporary. That was painting a target on his back and Alex knew it.

“Alex,” Luke said, pulling him out of his head, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Alex said simply, blinking away the memories that made his blood run cold, “But do you think we could arrange a private meeting between me and my dad when we get back on Earth?”

Luke eyed him strangely.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Do you have a better one?” 

And he didn’t, so Alex slipped back into his mind.

-

Michael’s mind stayed on Alex for so long that it was becoming a problem.

They’d never parted on such tense and negative terms before and Michael had convinced himself that Alex hated him and never wanted to see him again. It was just not good. He’d messaged him twice, but he got nothing in return. It really felt like he hated him. He didn’t know whether he was angry or if something bad had happened. Surely someone would’ve told him if another assassin had gotten to him, right?

“Come here.”

Michael lifted his head to see his mother in the doorway. Her face was as unreadable as ever, just like Alex, and her dark hair had been slicked back in a low bun. She wore all black wraps, inches of her stomach and arms exposed. They were tighter than usual which told him she’d been sparring. Despite that, he obeyed her and stood from the table to go hear her. She placed her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes as if that would betray all of his feelings. And maybe  it did.

She guided his head to rest in the crook of her neck and she hugged him tight. She had a few inches on both him and his father, but Michael didn’t mind. He quite liked knowing she would always be taller than him. She would always be so clearly his mom.

“Did the assassination attempt really scare you this much?” she asked, combing through his hair like she’d done as long as he could remember. He relaxed into her and shook his head. “Then what’s wrong? You’ve been quiet.”

Michael didn’t know what to tell her. He was a terrible liar, nothing would sell as well as the complete truth. But the truth was scary too. What he and Alex were doing wasn’t really allowed. Antar and Earth being friendly was one thing‒but their young princes having an affair? He couldn’t imagine his mother, or the people of either of their respective planets, loving that.

“Alex won’t talk to me,” Michael offered, hoping that would be enough.

His mother breathed slowly and controlled. He didn’t move.  She was thinking and probably piecing everything together. Michael said nothing.

“Was there a reason Prince Alex wasn’t in the building when the shot was fired?” Lady No asked, but it was clear she already knew the answer. Michael sunk into her more.

“He was with me,” he confirmed. She sighed.

“Oh, baby,” she whispered, clutching him tight, “What have you done?”

“I didn’t mean to,” he insisted, his voice cracking, “I swear, it wasn’t on purpose. I can’t help it.”

“I know you didn’t,” she murmured, “But you still did it.”

“I want to go study on Earth,” Michael said firmly. He felt his mother suck in a deep breath. “I want to be closer to him.”

Lady No pulled away and grabbed his face in her hands. Michael let her stare and gauge how serious he was being. Because he was serious. Deadly. It didn’t matter that Alex wasn’t speaking to him. If he was on the same planet, he could get him to talk.

“Alex is the son of a very hostile man, Michael. He put a hit out on his own child, do you understand that?” she said. He nodded and she harshly let go of him. “Do you have a deathwish?”

“No,” Michael said firmly, “But I know what I want. I want Alex.”

She scoffed, shaking her head, “You have no idea what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I do,” he insisted, “I’m not a child, I know what I want.”

“Do you know anything about Alex? Do you know why he was adopted or why his father is imprisoned? Do you know anything?” she demanded. Michael swallowed as he looked at her. She was angry.

Michael very quickly realized that he didn’t know much. He and Alex avoided talk of anything of substance and he didn’t ask. The only time he’d asked anything real or they spoke of anything real was that last night they were together. Otherwise, he really didn’t know Alex that well.

But that wasn’t fully true either. He knew Alex. Maybe he didn’t know his past, but he knew did well in school and had great aspirations to be a good ruler. Maybe he didn’t know how he got all of his scars, but he knew which ones upset him the most based on what he could stand being touched and what he couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t know what Alex’s father did to him, but he knew he hated him and that was enough to make Michael agree. He didn’t know him enough to write a biography, but he knew enough to love him and wasn’t that enough?

“I know he’s unhappy and probably scared,” Michael said, “And I know I want to study on Earth.”

Queen Celeano took a step away from her son and closed her eyes. He waited patiently, fully expecting her to pull him into his mindscape so he would be easier to mold. But that didn’t happen. Instead, she opened her eyes and looked at him straight on.

“You are my child. My duty, above all else, is to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you’re on Earth. I’m sorry, but no,” she said simply, shaking her head, “Not while I know you’re affiliating yourself with a man who has a target on his back.”

“We’re discreet!” he insisted, “No one knows and no one will know! It’s no one’s business but mine and his!”

“You’re young, you’ll change your mind. You’ll find a nice Antarian and‒”

“No,” Michael said, firmer this time. He could feel Adonis hovering close by in case he needed to interfere. “I want Alex. And maybe it’s not forever, but if you force me to give him up, I will always feel forever about him and I will always blame you.”

She stared at him, long and serious. He wondered if this was why he liked Alex so much. His mother had instilled something in him that took that controlling seriousness and made him love it. It was never an insult. He took it as a silent ‘I love you’. 

“I will talk to your father and I will talk to James,” she said. Michael’s eyes widened.

“Wait, don’t tell them about‒”

“I won’t,” she said firmly, “But we’ll discuss schooling. And I’m sending you with more than just Adonis because I don’t trust Alex’s father.”

“But you trust me?” he said. Lady No took a deep breath and stepped back up to her son.

“I trust you,” she agreed, “But I don’t trust his father and I refuse to have my son return to me in a body bag. So I’ll see what I can do, but please, please be safe.”

Michael nodded in agreement and kept his smile at bay despite the fact he wanted to run through the halls screaming his joy.

“Always.”

-

“Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely.”

Alex waited as the guards hesitantly unlocked the doors to the interrogation room they had his father in specifically for this meeting. He was being put on trial again for attempting to assassinate a member of the royal family, but that didn’t mean it would be impossible for Alex to get him alone. Jesse Manes had been patted down and checked over multiple times to make sure he had no weapons and he was handcuffed to his chair, but Alex still felt on edge.

On edge, but more powerful than ever.

He had been spending the last week trying to think of what he was going to say to finally sever this tie to his father, but, when he saw his face, all of that went out the window. But he had to do this. He had to if he ever wanted something good in his life. Something like Michael.

“Hello, son,” Jesse said as Alex stepped inside. Luke was close behind him. Alex had tried to get him to stay back, but he insisted he was going to be right there with him so he wasn’t alone. Alex didn’t know how to say no to that. 

“Dad,” Alex greeted, waiting until the door slammed behind them. Luke leaned beside the door in quiet solidarity. “Took you five years.”

“Not from lack of trying,” he said simply. It was surprising, but Alex still felt that pang of hurt. “You’ve stopped training, I know you have.”

“I haven’t, actually,” Alex said, “I spar every day that my leg allows. I just don’t endure torture.”

“What I did to you wasn’t torture. It was what you needed to become a good soldier, to rise up and finally end that fucking peace treaty. There’s nothing peaceful about it. It’s complacency,” he said. Alex shook his head and stepped closer.

“It isn’t,” Alex said, “They’re good people.”

“They aren’t people.”

“No, you aren’t a person,” Alex shot back, “What kind of person tries to kill their own son?”

“He wasn’t really meant to kill you,” Jesse offered, “You were supposed to kill him when he tried.”

Alex huffed a laugh, shaking his head, “Why am I not surprised that you think that’s better?”

“I spent fifteen years dedicating my life to you, Alex, you’re my son and I love you,” Jesse said. Alex held his chin high and tried not to let those words hit like they so desperately wanted to. “What don’t you see? You’re my pride and joy. Look at you. Infiltrating the royal family on both planets. Do you know what you could do at this rate? You could do wonderful things if you just stayed on track like I raised you.”

“Bold thing to say with witnesses,” Alex said. Jesse shook his head.

“I raised you,” Jesse repeated, “There are only witnesses if you let them be.”

They fell silent for a moment as Alex stared at him and tried to come up with the right thing to say. This was supposed to be empowering, but instead it felt more like he was just opening himself to more manipulation. But he refused. So, instead, Alex unbuttoned the jacket he was wearing and let it fall to the floor. His father eyed the gold wrap made of Antarian silk that was wrapped around his torso.

“What are you doing?” Jesse asked slowly. Alex took a deep breath.

“My entire life you shamed me for the scars you left on my skin. You taught me to hide from them and from what I wanted. But I refuse to listen to you. I refuse to let you stay in my brain, taunting me and making it difficult to let men touch or admire me. Because I want them to touch and admire me. How does that feel, Dad?”

Jesse’s jaw clenched at his words, but Alex felt no guilt. He felt quite the opposite. There was something freeing about getting under his skin.

“That doesn’t make me weak,” Alex continued, “I’m far from weak. I survived you. I can never be weak.”

“If you’re not weak, then you can ignore disrespectful desires,” Jesse said. Alex huffed.

“Disrespectful to who? Not me. And if it’s disrespectful to you, then I don’t care. I refuse to care. I spent so many years of my life trying to be the perfect son, trying to make you proud. And the sad thing is that I did. I was the son you wanted. Except for one little thing,” Alex said. His fingers skimmed the silk, begging it to give him strength. And it did. It felt like laying in Michael’s bed, like being wrapped up in a place where no one could hurt him. He felt invincible. “And I’m done being ashamed and scared.”

“I disagree.”

“Good luck with that,” Alex said, “Because I’m putting in a good word to have you executed.”

“My father is dead and he still lives in my mind, Alex,” Jesse said, smiling a smile that looked too much like Alex’s, “You can kill me, but I’ll never be dead.”

“Maybe not. But I’ll sure as hell do what I can to make sure I never end up like you,” he said simply, “I’m going to be a good king. I’m going to be kind. I’m going to love and be loved. I’m going to have a man in my bed, Antarian men in my bed. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Spite only lasts so long,” he spat.

“Don’t wait and see how long that is.”

Alex decided he was over the conversation and turned to leave, hoping Luke grabbed his jacket on the way out. He didn’t notice his hands were shaking until he got around the corner and Luke draped the jacket over his shoulders.

“Did you get the closure you needed?” Luke asked. Alex sucked in a deep breath and looked up at him. He didn’t really feel that different other than the fact that he felt like he needed to throw up.

“I guess I’ll just have to wait and find out.”

-

Michael arrived on Earth after three weeks of not hearing from Alex, but that was alright. He was going to take advantage of his time there.

The main reason for coming was for some big party that Michael didn’t really care about, but it was doubling as a time to enroll him in a school on Earth. The same school Alex was going to. He would be returning in a few months at the start of the next semester and, if he and Alex weren’t on good terms by then, then he would spend all of his free time trying to get them on good terms.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for Alex to give him a bright smile when they pulled up to the palace. There were cameras around so they didn’t hug, but Alex greeted him with a handshake that made his mind feel like fireworks were going off.

The next few hours were agonizingly slow and full of small talk. By the time Luke was leading him to Alex’s bedroom, he was already losing his mind trying to figure out what exactly was about to happen.

He was welcomed into Alex’s room and then they were alone. Alex was clothed in his stiff dress pants and his stiff white button up, but he looked nice. He always looked so nice.

“Hi,” Michael said.

“Hey,” Alex said right back. He stepped up to him and gave him that sweet smile that he always had for him. It was jarring considering their last encounter.

“I’m sorry about the last time I saw you,” Michael said, “I shouldn’t have grabbed your hand when I know you don’t like that. I know I sent you a U-Mail that said the same thing, but I keep thinking about it and it makes me feel worse every time. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, you were scared,” Alex said simply, eying him. Michael waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. So he finally asked a question.

“Alex… What’s going on?” he asked, “With us, I mean.”

“Last time we spoke, you said you wanted to be with me. Do you still feel that way?” Alex asked. Michael’s eyes widened, but he nodded. It seemed too deceptively easy, but it was Alex and he would jump into an endless pit if Alex thought it was a good idea. “Then I think we should talk.”

“Talk?”

“Talk,” Alex confirmed, nodding to his bed, “About anything. I think I owe you some honesty. I felt I had too much baggage for you, so I never shared, but you were kind to me for four years not knowing why I acted that way. So I think it’s time I let you in a little more.”

“Seriously?” Michael breathed. It felt too good to be true.

“Seriously,” Alex laughed, “I’m so tired of hiding from you.”

The two of them sat down on the bed facing each other and not touching. But then Alex held out his hand. Blood pumped in Michael’s ears, but he slowly reached out his hand towards Alex’s. Alex carefully laced their fingers together and rested it on his knee. They didn’t do that. But this was progress. So much progress.

And all Michael could feel was pride.

[banamaak]

MEET THE MUSE POWER HOUR!! ━━ take a seat and REPOST this detailed little bio with criteria to introduce the world to your muse.     no reblog karma or tagging ━  if you see this on your dash, feel free to partake in it! ☆ ━ B A S I C S . NAME:: Iman Heidari    NICKNAME(S)::  Islamic Republic of Iran / Persia (not exactly nicknames but they are alternative titles she also goes by) AGE:: around 3,000 years old     GENDER:: female, she/her   NATIONALITY:: Iranian    ☆ ━ A P P E A R A N C E . EYE COLOR:: dark brown    HAIR COLOR:: natural black    HAIRSTYLE:: usually kept down or tied in a bun. she wears a head covering, but wears it loosely so her hair is often exposed.     HEIGHT::  6′0 / 182 cm WEIGHT:: 184 lbs / 83 kg    BUILD:: Curvy   TATTOO(S):: she has the word شيرزن tattooed right above her collarbone. it spells out ‘shirzan’ which basically means a strong and in-control woman.  SCAR(S)::  a few burn scars on her legs from the burning of Persepolis during the Achaemenid era, as revenge for the burning of Athens. PIERCING(S):: she has a regular piercing, one in each ear. PREFERRED FASHION:: long skirts or dresses, paired with a cardigan and high heels.  TYPICALLY SMELLS LIKE::  very strong perfume with a faint scent of peaches, or chai when she’s just had a glass, which is pretty often.  ☆ ━ P E R S O N A L I T Y . POSITIVE TRAITS:: allocentric ||  appreciative || calm || caring || challenging || charming || creative || compassionate || dramatic || efficient || focused || imaginative || liberal || loyal || neat || non-authoritarian || observant || witty || NEUTRAL TRAITS:: stubborn || perfectionist ||  sarcastic ||  confident || prideful || competitive ||  rash || unsentimental || artful || casual || complex || emotional || honest ||  outspoken || sensual || NEGATIVE TRAITS:: abrasive || argumentative || blunt ||  crass || cynical || egocentric || fatalistic || hesitant || indulgent || irritable || lazy || libidinous || meddlesome || moody || neurotic || passive || possessive || vague || LIKES:: chai (duh), fashion, art, literature, mathematics, cats.       DISLIKES:: being talked down to or patronized, admitting to being in the wrong, losing.  PHOBIAS / FEARS::  being forgotten ig HABITS:: twirling her hair, gestures with her hands, subconsciously rolls her eyes without realizing it sometimes       ☆ ━ R E L A T I O N S H I P S . SEXUAL ORIENTATION:: bisexual  ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:: biromantic, although she tends to lean more towards men.    RELATIONSHIP STATUS:: shit’s complicated, we ain’t got time to unpack all of that rn    ☆ ━ H E A L T H . CHRONIC CONDITIONS::  chronic leg pain from an injury she sustained in the 1980s.   ADDICTIONS:: she smokes a lot, and drinks alcohol in secret. technically she’s addicted to chai as well, since she gets headaches if she doesn’t have it at the same time everyday lol    ALLERGIES:: shellfish   ☆ ━ H O M E .  PLACE OF RESIDENCE:: a two story house in Elahieh, an upper class district in Tehran. She also has a smaller house in Isfahan.       METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION:: her white bmw ;)  PETS:: a Persian cat named Shirin  ☆ ━ W O R K  &  E D U C A T I O N. JOB:: she usually works as a small time actress, but when she isn’t doing that, she works as a makeup artist or as a mathematics tutor.   SCHOOLING::     Masters: formal schooling lol what’s that she was there when some of this stuff was first recorded SPOKEN LANGUAGES:: Farsi, Arabic, Armenian, Turkish, Greek, Azeri, French, Kurdish, English. She also knows some native languages from certain regions in Iran, such as Qashqai and Balochi.  SKILLS:: acting, singing, dancing, cooking, sword fighting, archery, and sketching/painting.    ☆ ━ R A N D O M . QUIRKS:: loves watching Turkish dramas dubbed in Farsi, always matches her outfits, and enjoys playing chess (especially shatranj, an old Persian form of chess)      RELIGION:: Shi’a Muslim    

THEME SONG(S):: honestly any song by Googoosh, they just have the vibes  

[yuuana]

Music Monday #182: TEN - Paint Me Naked release: August 2021 genre: Kpop

What, it's Monday again? Oh fine.... I guess we can have Yet Another Kpop Music Monday post. By an ethnic-Chinese Thai national. In English. As a treat. Confused yet? It's okay, happens to the best of us.

If you aren't familiar with NCT, TEN is a member of the Chinese subunit WayV and a recurring member of NCT U. In Kpop lingo, he's what we would call an all-rounder - he sings, he dances, he raps, he does graphic design, speaks several languages, isn't afraid to challenge gender norms, and he'll steal your girlfriend while he's at it with his cute cat pictures. Last count I saw had Ten as a skilled artist in at least ten styles of dance, including popping, jazz, and traditional Chinese ballet. When he dances, it's art in motion (I feel like I've said that before) and if you haven't seen his initial debut piece, Dream In A Dream (later marked as NCT U), I highly recommend it. "Paint Me Naked" is a rock-tinged poppy, dance-y number all about young love, which, with Ten's youthful appearance, it's easy to forget he's closer to 30 than he is 18 (he's 25 (international)) ... but it's also a reminder that a good chunk of his fans are the other way. ;) And honestly, whether you're young or just young at heart, the message of forgetting what others say and focusing on how you and your partner(s) feel about your relationship is a good one. If you think the video has a musical theatre feel to the opening, then congrats, that's what he was aiming for. From the behind the scenes, we find out this was an all-day shoot, starting at stupid o'clock in the morning (though given Ten's preference to sleep until mid-afternoon, any AM time is too early) and continuing on well past midnight. So that yawn at ~0:36 was both genuine and unscripted, but the director liked it enough to keep it in. Of course since this was released (like as soon as he came off the promos for it), Ten has already released another WayV subunit track with Yangyang (yes, SM has subunits of a subunit) that is, unlike this track, explicitly tied into the SMCU lore ... but we'll get into that more next month. ;) Want to see Music Monday deep dives more often? Sponsor a song selection! For the low, low price of one (1) KoFi, I'll write up the song of your choice. ANY song of your choice. Yes, even that one that's been played to death. Yes, your obscure faves too. With sponsors, I can stop skipping weeks and falling further and further behind in the releases! Sponsor a current CB for the next open Music Monday slot (if I get enough, I'll open Song Sundays so waits aren't more than 4 weeks). Or sponsor a flashback for a Friday feature! But seriously, if you've been enjoying my selections and analyses, we (me and the foster kittens) would love a KoFi in thanks. DW | Twitter | Ko-fi | Patreon | Discord | Twitch

[nintendowife]

The year is nearly over and it's time for my personal game of the year picks again. Finished a record amount of games this year (53, full list of games at the end of the post). COVID-19 pandemic didn't really cause an increase in my gaming, the main contributing factor was Xbox Game Pass for PC which allows me to easily pick up and try out a variety of games. As a "blast from the past" I finally beat a Nintendo 64 game Blast Corps together with husbando, a game I had been stuck in in the 90s. Like usual, I didn't play many games released in the current year so most of my picks are older games. But without further ado, here are the best of the best. 

1st place: Yakuza Kiwami 2 (PC, also available on PS4, Xbox One)

Thrilling and serious crime drama featuring the legendary ex-yakuza Kiryu who finds himself in absurdly hilarious situations at every turn. This is a game you don't want to miss, but playing Yakuza 0 and Yakuza Kiwami prior to this is recommended. 

+ Amazing story with various charismatic and memorable characters + Some incredibly funny side quests and entertaining minigames + Gorgeously detailed environments in 4K + Cool soundtrack and superb voice acting + Majima Saga is a nice continuation to events of Yakuza 0 + Well-made PC port with no issues besides occasional amusing ragdolling - Lack of different fighting styles make battles a bit repetitive - No Ansel support 

See my posts about Yakuza Kiwami 2

2nd place: Octopath Traveler (Switch, also available on PC)

Classic JRPG of modern times with quality of life improvements and gorgeous presentation. Each characters' stories, the game's engaging turn-based battle system and mechanics kept me glued to the screen for over 125 hours.

+ Fun and rewarding battle system with a good amount of team customization and strategy with subclasses and skills + Beautiful visuals mixing old-school sprite graphics with modern lighting effects + Splendid soundtrack, dual audio option and great Japanese voice acting  + Likeable characters with their own individual stories and engrossing overarching story that lets you find the connections of the characters  + Quality localization with rich language. I learned many new words and H'aanit's old manner of speaking added a new layer of immersion. + Nice quality of life features like fast travel and seemingly unlimited inventory space - Random encounters (they didn't actually bother me much in this game as the battle system was engaging) - Sudden crazy difficulty spike when encountering the real final boss 

See my posts about Octopath Traveler

3rd place: Portal 2 (PC, also available on PS3, Xbox 360)

Immersive sci-fi first-person puzzle game with fascinating game mechanics and tons of great humor. Portal 2 lives up to the universal praise it has gotten.

+ Interesting premise and great writing + Well designed physics-based puzzles + Difficulty is just right, not too hard and not too easy + Super good voice acting and soundtrack that fits the environments spot on + Great humor right from the starting tutorial + The first-person camera immersed me into the game - Some issues like autosaving at unfortunate moments 

See my posts about Portal 2

Honorable mention: Xenoblade Chronicles X (Wii U)

Sci-fi action JRPG with a surprising twist in its story and a peculiar setting where the player isn't really the protagonist. Battle system is fun and rewarding once you get a hang of it.

+ Impressive world that made me go "woah!" and "ooohh!" + Cool sci-fi story + Great use of Wii U GamePad + Skells (flying mech suits) make traversing the vast world pleasant + Online multiplayer is still active - Tedious fetch quests (wiki/guide recommended) - Soundtrack isn't consistently good

See my posts about Xenoblade Chronicles X

Honorable mention: Ruiner (PS4 & Switch, also available on PC, Xbox One)

I'm in love with this game. I've played it on 4 platforms already and I'm waiting for my Switch physical copy. Ruiner was in my top 3 games last year so I'll just give it a honorable mention now.

+ Amazing world-building and atmosphere + Great soundtrack + Fast-paced action gameplay that stays fun even after multiple playthroughs - Some glitches in PS4 version, Switch version aiming doesn't feel as accurate as on other platforms

See my posts about Ruiner

Honorable mention: Death Coming (PC, also available on PS4, Switch, mobile)

Kind of like a point and click isometric Hitman game. Humorous game where you need to figure out how to reap as many souls as possible, causing fatal accidents with the environments.

+ Fun assassination gameplay with well-designed, wildly imaginative levels + Charming graphics and presentation + Hilarious ways to kill targets - More levels would have been welcome 

Nominees for my personal Game of the Year 2020

Only games I have finished in 2020 have been included.

A Plague Tale: Innocence (PC)  ACA NeoGeo: Metal Slug X (PC)  Bayonetta (PC)  Blast Corps (N64)  Carrion (PC)  Cat Quest (Switch)  Costume Quest + Grubbins on Ice DLC (PC)  Death Coming (PC)  Doki Doki Literature Club (PC)  Etrian Mystery Dungeon (3DS)  Final Fantasy XV + DLC episodes (PC)  Gears 5 (PC)  Gris (PC)  Helltaker (PC)  Her Story (PC)  Hypnospace Outlaw (PC)  Katana Zero (PC)  Kirby: Triple Deluxe (3DS)  Lonely Mountains: Downhill (PC)  Mario Kart 8 (Wii U)  Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite (PC)  Mr. DRILLER DrillLand (Switch)  My Nintendo Picross: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (3DS)  Observation (PC)  Octopath Traveler (Switch)  Paper Mario: The Origami King (Switch)  Pikmin 3 (Wii U)  PictoQuest: The Cursed Grids (Switch)  Pikuniku (PC)  Pokémon Shield (Switch)  Portal 2 (PC)  Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology (3DS)  Rainy Season (PC)  Ruiner (PS4)  Ruiner (Switch)  Star Fox 64 3D (3DS)  Stella Glow (3DS)  Streets of Rage 4 (PC)  Super Bomberman R (Switch)  Super Mario 64 (N64)  Super Mario 64 (Switch)  Super Mario Sunshine (Switch)  Tacoma (PC)  Tetris Effect: Connected (PC)  The Gardens Between (PC)  The Messenger (PC)  The Touryst (PC)  Thimbleweed Park (PC)  Watch_Dogs 2 (PC)  Wilmot's Warehouse (PC)  Xenoblade Chronicles X (Wii U)  Yakuza Kiwami (PC)  Yakuza Kiwami 2 (PC) 

Wishing you all a safe journey to a brave new year 2021! May it be blessed with plenty of quality gaming.

[pompompurin1028]

Honestly I- I was shook too like what😭 I was all like “what kind of an unholy word are we living in and how the hell did you have an access to this unholy thing”

Another time she sent this and only wrote “u” below I was like

🤨

i hope you aren’t the owner of this edit or i’m disowning you

In conclusion we’ve got a good Dazai-Kunikida dynamic😂 Love her so much tho

AND YES AJXNSLXN I SAW THAT- please that’s adorable😂💕 gotta adore the lovely friends who have to deal with our passionate selves😭

Ahh that’s so great🥺 But yeah, make sure you warn her beforehand, it could get really triggering🥺

Omg you MEMORISE THEM TOO? Woah😭 I think the only poem we ever memorised was our national anthem in primary school- But it at least gave you more depth for Blue Bamboo so that’s awesome hehe😌 And that sounds so hard omg😭 But I find that it’s so useful for the brain and comprehension skills too which also sounds awesome :o

And I really enjoy learning about them, yes🥺 When we do them in class, first they let us alone with the original poem, and of course we don’t understand anything because if the poem contains, let’s say, 200 words, only 20-25 of them are still in use today. In fact, there was a certain point in the history where we started to use so so many words from two other languages (not telling them explicitly because that’d probably publicly reveal a lot about mine🥲but anyone who knows a bit about this certain literature has already understood it so RIP) because the poets thought those words would serve better to express what they wanted to express, and the mixture of these 3 languages formed the literature language in the country for a long time. We’re talking about roughly from the 11th to the 19th century, by the way. But in the 20th century, a movement started and its main goal was to eliminate the influence of the foreign languages on our literature, they defended that we should be creating our works with our modern language (which I pretty much agree with).

So now, when we look at a poem from for example 17th century, we don’t understand it not only because it’s written in old language but also because it’s not even in our language. But when the teachers give us the translation, it allows me to see how they perceived the world, the human emotions, and it kind of makes me feel a beautiful connection with my country in those centuries, I guess? The awareness that it’s my culture is so attractive for me as well. When I read things from other cultures, sure I like them objectively very much, but here, subjective emotions come into play too, I suppose? It makes me feel closer to it even when I don’t understand a word in it. I always feel like emotions were purer back then. And when I have a version of it which I understand, it makes me rejoice so much. So I may say that it kind of creates the connection between us, the ‘modern’ individuals and the ‘historical’ culture/people. I really hope this all makes sense haha, this turned out so long omg I’m so sorry😖

And yes!! I’m pretty fluent in it, and I really enjoy learning it so, SO much omg it could be my favourite language to learn or talk or write in. I’m literally so passionate about everything about it (why are we like this in everything we do I swear-). And oh you studied it too?? That’s awesome!!🥰 We could try talking in it some time if you’d like👀

And aaaaahhh French literature is AWESOME you should definitely give it a try. It’s definitely among my favourites, if not the favourite. I recently read La Bête Humaine (The Beast Within? The Human Beast?? I still don’t know how it was published in English) from Émile Zola and I was shook oh god, it was so raw, so wild… and I found it really beautiful, I’m honestly slowly falling in love with the naturalism movement. I really recommend Flaubert too, he’s really a master of realism, I love him so much. Hugo, if you’re into romanticism (which I’m.. pretty much not😭) And there’s Molière, the comedy master, I’m honestly HEAD OVER HEELS in love with his witty humour; and in terms of philosophy there’s Rousseau, Descartes, Beauvoir; AND OH THE POEMS Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Verlaine AAAAAA THE LIST COULD GO ON FOR HOURS- I- I CAN’T😩😩😩

And French classical music/art movements is a WHOLE other topic that I won’t even get into, or this ask will become a novel.

Anyways🤭 Oh I see! That’s really interesting, maybe🤔 I also heard that it was so beautiful, I’m looking forward to reading it some time😌

This is long overdue and this ask has been sitting in my ask box for a while, my apologies. And please that picture, I'm sorry I can't help but burst out laughing when I see it hahaha. And to be in the face of such a genius such as Mozart, I would be shy too honestly😳

And yes omg, I appreciate her so much T^T. My friend has been busy though it seems, she's been busy with courses, I miss her😭. And yes ahh I did warn her no worries, I warn her everytime she talks about it😳 I think she gets the point by now haha

And ahh that's actually pretty cool! But that also sounds so complicated at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine having 3 languages integrated into a single type of literature. And only that little of the words can actually be understood? I- wow😳 And yeah, I can totally understand the movement and its intentions, and honestly, I agree with it too, even though I have a very limited understanding of this topic.

And that must feel really weird :0 to know that it is from your culture but to have languages that you don't understand in it. And don't worry, I get what you mean! It's like you're able to communicate with the people of the past as they bring you messages and lessons that they learnt! T^T and it's honestly kind of a treasure honestly.

From what I know the old Chinese language changed to the current one during the May Fourth Movement (Also known as the New Cultural Movement), I believe. Of course, the May Fourth Movement included more than just the change of the languages, but that might be one of its biggest accomplishments. So during that time, the modern Chinese language is already used in speaking and writing as well during that time, but it was not the language used to officially spread ideas during that time. The May Fourth Movement one about moving away from traditional ideas and intellectual thoughts, such as Confucianism. Don't take my word for it, but from what I remember that I have learnt, I think that they wanted to do so because they (the students of the time) believe that it was such ideas that lead to China's downfall after the first world war in the Paris Peace Conference in which it wasn't able to claim some of its original lands back (the land is the Shandong region, which was given to Japan instead); and before that as well in which it suffered much humiliation from the weak Qing (or in English would sometimes be written as Ch'ing) government. And so, this movement kind of promoted the use of vernacular language in writing rather than using what we call "bahuai". This made the written language much easier to understand.

Sorry, I just went on rambling and gave you a history lesson there😅 At first I was going to talk about it briefly only because of... but all well, I guess my history-loving side came out haha

And honestly, I find that so amazing:") And well yeah, I only know very little French, unfortunately... I was learning it when the pandemic hit and I couldn't have any more lessons sadly...

And please, your passion for French literature is making me want to read them too ahh. There are just so many books I want to read gshsjs. And Rousseau, of course, I know him from studying the French Revolution period before haha, along with Voltaire and Montesquieu. Well I know of them, but I'm not very familiar with their ideas though unfortunately :")

And please don't worry Req haha, your passion is very energizing and it makes me really excited to talk about such things too. I enjoy it very much <3

Oh and before we were talking about I am A Cat, I actually found it in the bookstore in Chinese, and I read the description of it briefly and it talks about a story written from the cat's pov which is quite cool!

[imoutoni]

R u l e s   F o r   M o b i l e :

This is as ask and role-play blog for Nezuko Kamado of Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba.

I’m Dove. She/her, EST timezone. I’m active most of the time. I’m not my muse, so don’t get that twisted. Let’s get along!

  ✸ THIS IS NOT A SPOILER FREE BLOG!! This blog contains spoilers from the Kimetsu no Yaiba manga. Please block my tags for verses 1 and 3 if you have not seen past the anime.

✸ Minors ( persons under 18, please do not follow or interact. There are heavy themes on this blog and I do not feel comfortable with minors following me.

✸  Non RP blogs do not interact.

✸ Don’t follow this blog if you are triggered by mentions of blood, demons, violence, mentions of character deaths/injuries, decapitation or fire. Common triggers outside of these will be tagged.

✸ Mutuals only. No exceptions.

✸ Multi ship.

✸ Mun is over 21, but I don’t plan to do any sort of sexual role-plays on this blog.

✸ Discord role-player, but very selective.

✸ DMs always open for plotting.

✸ Asks and prompts/rp memes to start threads are adored

✸ I’m still working on gathering and editing icons, so hang in there for now.

✸ I reserve the right to block or softblock you if you break my rules or do something that makes me uncomfortable.

✸ I’m fairly literate so I ask that you please try to watch your grammar. If English isn’t your first language, I’m willing to work with you as long as the story is gripping and I can understand what’s going on.

✸ VERY fandom selective.

✸ Keep your drama away from me. I’m here for fun, not petty stuff. Callout posters will be blocked.

✸ When you message me, please say more than just ‘hi’ or ‘hello’. I need something to work with.

✸ AUs are more than welcome!

✸ I run my blog the way I want. Thank you. ♡

DISCLAIMER: This blog is for entertainment purposes only. I do not own the character of Nezuko or Demon Slayer.

None of the art I use to make my icons belongs to me. All credit goes to the various artists.

If you’ve read this far, please hit ♡ so that I know we’re good to go.

                                                           V E R S E S :

| | SPOILERS AHEAD!! SKIP OVER THIS VERSE SUMMARY IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE MANGA | | S w e e t    m o r t a l i t y   :   V e r s e   0 1 Post Canon:(Again, another headcanon heavy verse but I’m leaving it open ended since the manga somewhat determined all their futures already.)After Muzan Kibutsuji’s defeat, she returns home with her brother once he recovered. She spends her days caring for her new family, the ones she fought with to protect humanity. Each year on the anniversary of their family’s deaths, Tanjiro and Nezuko visit their graves to update them all on how things have changed and to pray for continued peace. The two replace the flowers each year in the spring as well.| | SPOILERS END | | ________________________________________________________________

S o m e t h i n g    p r e c i o u s    i n    a    b o x   :   V e r s e   0 2 Being plagued with the curse of being a Demon, Nezuko has to travel in a box made of cedar during the day. Her brother carries her around as she sleeps to regain strength in place of consuming humans. Little is known about the type of demon she is, but her size manipulation allows her to fit comfortably in the small container. With few memories from her past, she travels with her brother, focused more on being strong enough to protect him rather than regaining her life skills. She chooses to wear a bamboo bit gag over her mouth in order to prevent her from consuming human blood by accident, or possibly harming someone with her large fangs in battle. During this time, she is still learning to use her Blood Demon Art Technique, but it has been shown to do be lethal to other Demons. ________________________________________________________________ | | SPOILERS AHEAD!! SKIP OVER THIS VERSE SUMMARY IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE MANGA | | D a y b r e a k e r   :   V e r s e   0 3 After sacrificing herself to save the innocents at the swordsmith village, Nezuko has shown the ability to resist sunlight, meaning she can now freely roam in the daytime without being burned to death. Her strength as a Demon seems to have increased significantly as well. This has been shown in her transformations as well. Nezuko had sprouted a horn and gained a leaf pattern in her recent battles. Her advancement even gives her the ability to speak. She has stopped wearing the bamboo over her mouth now that she is re-learning how to articulate and communicate verbally with others. Unfortunately, these miracles have come with a hefty price. Kibutsuji is now aware of her immunity to the sun and seeks to use the remaining members of the Twelve Upper Moons (Twelve Kizuki) to claim her and absorb her, thus gaining her power. The race between Muzan’s mission and Tamayo’s cure is anyone’s guess, but the Demon Slayers will soon be forced into Hashira training in preparation.| | SPOILERS END | | ________________________________________________________________ B r e a d  -  c h a n  :  V e r s e   0 4 Kimetsu Academy:(This verse is heavily headcanon based.)Kamado Nezuko is in her final year of junior high and thinks she’s all grown up since turning 14. That might have something to do with how her older brother, Tanjirou still treats her like a kid. Nezuko is infamous for constantly gnawing on a loaf of French bread, but she doesn’t like to talk about why. The truth is, the Kamado household is filled with kids and as the eldest sister, she stays up late to make sure her younger siblings have lunch and finish their homework, as well as helping in the bakery. Naturally, by the time she’s slept through her fourth alarm, forget about toast. If she doesn’t hurry out the door, she’ll be late! Tanjirou throws a loaf of bread in her mouth and packs a couple more loaves just in case. By the time she finishes her breakfast, it’s almost time for lunch. She’s known to be a slow eater. That’s why it seems like she’s always got bread in her mouth. Nezuko is one of the top students in her class, so though eating isn’t permitted in class, the teachers let it slide. Though Zenitsu is on the morals / disciplinary committee, he has never once scolded her for breaking the rules. She assumes it’s because he’s so close with her brother and made a similar exception for him. Her best friend is Makomo. The two love shopping for new accessories for their hair together, but it’s mostly window shopping as owning a bread shop is a modest living. Especially since their father passed away. She likes Karaoke bars, bubble tea, sweet bread, confetti candy, mochi and ice cream. Anything that’s sweet, she enjoys and that’s caused her cavities at least once. She wants to inherit the family business, so she joined the cooking club. Everyone looks forward to any holiday or event where they get to try her cooking and baking. Many of the students in school have agreed that one day, Nezuko will make a wonderful wife and her store will be extremely popular. A lot of kids from Kimetsu Academy come to the bakery while Nezuko is working and helping out her mother. She’s very popular with the regular customers due to her calm, yet cheerful personality. All in all, Nezuko is well liked, not exactly a socialite, but she has no known enemies. ________________________________________________________________ I t ’ s   a l l    f o r    m y    b r o t h e r  :   V e r s e   0 5 This is just a role reversal AU where Tanjirou is turned into a Demon and Nezuko takes up the responsibility of becoming a member of the Demon Slayer Corps on the way to finding a cure. She is trained by Sakonji Urokodaki and learns to use the Breath of Water and Total Concentration Breathing under him. Having passed the Final Selection and obtaining her Nichirin Sword, Nezuko heads off to slay Demons with her older brother in a box on her back. In this verse, Nezuko in not simply taking her brother’s place. Unlike him, she does not possess the mark on her forehead, which is a very important detail. Her views on killing Demons are also quite different. Rather than believing that she should kill them because they have done something unforgivable like Tanjiro, Nezuko wishes that she could keep them alive somehow, only to make them live with what they’ve done and repent. She feels that letting them die is the easy way out. Unfortunately, she knows that her ideals are a stretch and doesn’t hesitate when beheading a Demon.

Furthermore, she has mastered Water Breathing due to her agile, petite body, unlike her sibling in the canon universe.

________________________________________________________________ J o i n i n g   t h e   c a u s e  :  V e r s e  0 6 In this universe, Nezuko stays with Tamayo, much to both siblings' dismay. Fortunately, it results in her being cured with a prototype antidote for Demonism Tamayo developed using Nezuko's blood. Unfortunately, since Nezuko's blood is now little more than a human's, Tamayo needs the blood of an Upper Moon to replicate her winning formula and ensure that it's potent enough to cure even Demons nearly completely saturated with Kibutsuji's blood. In the meantime, Nezuko wants to help her brother and fellow sufferers of the Demon war, but isn't sure how. Tamayo sends off a message to the Ubuyashiki family via crow and the Master calls upon Shinobu to take Nezuko under her wing and teach her first aid.This task will really fall on Aoi, the Kakushi and Kanao, but it's all the same. The Kakushi are typically people who have failed Final Selection or were injured and can no longer fight Demons, but Nezuko would be a special case, which is why she'll be gifted with skilled mentors. Her affinity for sewing already made her a decently worthy candidate, but the Corps needs to be sure she can handle the many tasks and obligations of this position. Nezuko tries to wear the visor, but often forgets to while in a rush thanks to falling asleep during downtime. Her identity as a former Demon is kept secret to anyone Tanjiro hadn't told prior to her surprise arrival at the Butterfly Estate so that the Demons don't catch word of a working antidote.