#...sorry i got talkative in the tags. i have a lot to say because i was looking for a wg pumpkin stencil 😭😭

[steddieas-shegoes]

guilt fades, scars remain

written as part of @st-loveconfessions february kindness event for today: write a fic based on art! the moment I saw this absolutely stunning art by @stervrucht, I knew I had to get some words out. @runninriot also wrote something inspired by this art and it's just as stunning as the art itself, you can find that here!

rated m | 1031 words | cw: blood and injury | tags: eddie munson lives, steve rescues eddie, eddie has a crush on steve, pre-relationship, open ending but assume they're getting together

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The tears drip. The rain hits the roof. The sweat builds along his hairline.

Eddie’s alone. He’s scared. He’s sick of feeling pain everywhere.

“Eddie?”

The voice is back. He should be happy. Hearing Steve’s voice is a relief compared to what he’s been feeling for so long. He’s not even sure how long he’s been stuck here. Hours, days, weeks?

Years?

“Eddie.”

The voice is clear, but it’s always clear. Sometimes it’s far, sometimes it’s close. It sounds worried, but talking back to it doesn’t help.

He’s sure of only one thing: Steve Harrington’s voice is a balm on his nerves and patience alike. If he can’t have the real Steve saving him, he’s glad he at least has his voice in his ears.

Cool hands are covering his naked chest. It feels so nice, like an ice pack on an injury.

He supposes he does have an injury. Probably a lot if the shooting pains across his side and legs are anything to go off of.

“Eddie, hey.”

Eddie blinks. His vision focuses.

“There you go. Keep your eyes open. I’m getting you out of here.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry we kept you waiting so long.”

Eddie’s got tunnel vision, which is weird for a hallucination. Or maybe it’s not. He’s only done shrooms once and he barely even hallucinated before he passed out.

Eddie reaches one hand up to try to feel if Steve is real. He touches bare skin and he laughs.

“‘S fake.”

Steve’s got a lot of hair on his chest, he remembers from when he jumped into the lake. He remembers thinking how nice it must be to fall asleep on his chest, run his fingers through the soft hair there.

“What’s fake?” Steve asks.

An interactive hallucination is very strange, but it’s a nice distraction from the pain. It fades in and out like the intro and outro to songs. He’s gotta figure out how to put this into music.

“You,” he answers. There’s still no other voices and there’s no way Steve would rescue him alone. No one would let him come down here alone. “Me.”

“We’re not fake, Eddie. I knew we should’ve come back sooner. You’re fuckin’ delirious,” Steve sounds panicked now, and Eddie doesn’t want that. Hallucination Steve should be relaxed.

“Calm. Hurts, but calm.”

He’s being lifted up slowly and he’s sitting for the first time since the bats started trying to eat him. Feels a little weird, something internally screams, and then he realizes he’s actually screaming externally.

Steve’s trying to keep him calm and quiet, shushing him as he pulls him to his shoulder, hand tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s nice, smelling something that’s not the stench of the Upside Down or his own blood. Feeling something human where all he’s known is dirt and ash.

“It’s gonna hurt for a few minutes, but it’ll be worth it,” Steve’s saying in his ear.

Eddie raises an arm. It hurts. It’s not as bad as when he sat up, but it’s more pain than he should be feeling.

He must make a noise because Steve’s burying his nose into Eddie’s hair and it feels intimate in a way that doesn’t belong here. This place is broken, Eddie is broken, and Steve is stable.

“I’m gonna lift you up. Is anything broken?” Steve whispers against the side of his head.

Eddie hopes he remembers all of this. He hopes when he wakes up— if he wakes up— the first thought he has is about Steve touching him like this, making him feel alive and precious, worthy.

He must’ve answered Steve because he feels the ground fall out from under him and then searing pain in his side. Steve’s carrying him and he’s going to black out from the pain.

“Just a few minutes. Just hang on a few minutes. For me, Eddie,.”

Eddie can do anything in his dreams, so he hangs on for a while and then everything goes dark.

++++

“Eddie.”

The voice again.

It’s not clear this time, but he knows it’s Steve.

“Eddie, wake up.”

He blinks his eyes open and immediately closes them again, whining at the obnoxious bright light right in his eyes. If heaven is this bright, he’s not interested.

“Sorry. Let me turn those off.”

Steve’s voice is clearer now, sinking into his brain as the memories start to float back to him. Steve saved him. Steve showed up in the Upside Down shirtless and-

“Where was your shirt?” Eddie asks, voice raspy and trembling. He sounds as weak as he feels.

“My…shirt?” Steve asks.

“Y’were naked,” Eddie continues. “Nipples everywhere.”

Steve lets out a bark of a laugh and Eddie is going to combust. Making Steve laugh might be the best thing he’s ever done in his life…or death, if he’s dead.

“I was using it to stop the blood on your leg,” Steve explains. “It was still bleeding.”

He sounds…haunted.

“Did I die?”

Eddie focuses on Steve, the way he holds himself as if he’s in trouble, the way he won’t look directly at Eddie’s face. He’s guilty, but Eddie can’t imagine why.

“No. I don’t know how, but no.”

“You saved me.”

“I was almost too late.”

Eddie hums in protest. He’s too tired to argue, but he knows he’s right. Steve saved him. It doesn’t matter how long it took, or how many shirts were ruined in the process. He’s alive.

“C’mere,” Eddie whispers.

Steve steps closer. Eddie manages to grip his shirt, not tight, but enough for Steve to look down and then back up, finally settling on his face.

“Y’did good,” Eddie says. He closes his eyes hoping that’ll conserve energy to say what he needs to. “Thank you.”

“Eddie-“

“Sit. Sleep.”

He’s not sure if Steve listens because he’s already drifting back out of consciousness, but he can feel the weight of Steve’s hand in his and he’s pretty sure he’s not gonna let go.

When he wakes up, he still feels Steve’s hand in his.

His eyes flutter open to see Steve asleep in the chair next to his bed.

Shirt on, unfortunately.

[sturniolostars]

𝓟𝓤𝓒𝓚𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝓐𝓡𝓞𝓤𝓝𝓓

∗ smut, mentions of death, abuse, eating disorders, self harm, overall mature themes

∗ Chris was used to everyone liking him. But Evelyn hates hockey players and Chris hates her and her stupid figure skating. However they have to share a rink for now and can’t help but feel a pull towards each other. How will this play out in the end?

Previous Chapter

Chris’s pov

I didn’t even have time to ask if she was okay. She was sprinting out of my room and down the steps. I tried to chase after her but she was pretty fast for someone who had just creamed all over my fucking fingers.

“Evelyn wait!” I call out. I lost her in the crowd and while I knew she was probably heading for the front door once I got there and looked outside to see if she was running or driving away there was no sight of her.

This is bad. We are obviously still not on good terms. She still hates me– in fact she might hate me even more, and while the taste of her is still on my tongue my brain is also still trying to tell me to hate her.

I think I really fucked up

Evvie’s pov

I just need to go home. Even if home was actually last place I wanted to be. If I was lucky my father would be passed out drunk and my mother would either be asleep or up, but too tired to point out every flaw I have.

I sigh and grip the steering wheel pulling into my driveway. I enter my home feeling relieved my dad actually was passed out on the couch with a few beer cans around him. I grimace but walk towards the stairs that lead up to my room.

“Evelyn” I hear my mothers voice from behind me. I take a deep breath and turn around to face her with a small smile. “Oh hi mom” I say softly. She scans me up and down. “You look like your gaining weight Evelyn have you been sticking to your diet?”

I self consciously suck in my tummy. “N-no I’ve been sticking to it” she rolls her eyes. “Mhm get up early tomorrow. I want to test that claim with a little weight check” I swallow but nod keeping my little pretty smile on. “Yea of course” she nods and turns around no ‘I love you’ or ‘I know your doing good’ not even a ‘I know I’m breaking you but it’s just because I love you’

I climb the rest of the way up the steps telling myself it could be worse. That my dad could be awake and looking for a live punching bag, that my mother could be degrading me more than she just did, that I could go back to weigh ins every day. I make it to my room and open the door lying on my bed.

“It could be worse”

-

I do wake up earlier and walk downstairs into the guest bathroom where my mom was waiting for me already. I step on the scale self consciously sucking in again even though it would do nothing to really change my weight. Force of habit I guess.

She looks down at it. I was over by a single pound. I swallow looking into her gaze……a gaze that shows pure disgust and disappointment. “I’m sorry” I say even though I have nothing to be sorry for.

She scowls “you will cut down on food you understand” I nod. “You will not embarrass this family by gaining weight or anything like that” I felt hollow but still manage to nod. “Yes mother”

And with that she leaves me alone and broken. I get ready and drive myself off to school. A school where I had nothing but figure skating. Hunter was my skating partner yes but he didn’t care about me. Which left me with no friends, no clubs, no hobbies, no time…..

I fight through the day just wanting to get to the rink I forgot was being shared. Just me and figure skating and– I look up at the hockey team on the ice seeing Chris in all his stupid fucking might speeding around with a puck.

And stupid Chris Sturniolo. It’s going to be fine. Just think about skating. Think about how you’re going to be perfect for mother and father. Don’t think about how your stomach is growling. I sigh.

“It could be worse right?”

a/n: this chapter kind of had a lot. Please reach out or talk to someone if you’re going through anything! (Tell me if you wanna be on the taglist)

Tags: @kadesturnz @watercolorskyy @megamorgan44 @kikirasweatsweathoho @bernardsbendystraws @wurlibydominicfike @sturnslux3 @courta13 @stargazer6969 @idrk2292 @astrxl

[saliosis]

happy halloween. i'm thinking about the tobecky pumpkin rn 😕

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

i wanted this comic digitalized so bad that i used max's birthday as an excuse. :)

this is the true ending. if im insane enough ill show you the alternate ending though

bonus because i just. it just kinda peters out. longggg post yayyye

[luckycharms1701]

got a response to my last post and fuck if i didn't pull my computer out at one in the morning so i could do this particular topic justice

my "time to talk about family dynamics in tmnt" button was pushed real hard, and i don't get enough opportunities to talk about this

So let's talk about Leo's position in the family in the Bayverse movies. That's right folks, we're pulling out capital letters for the leader in blue, because this is a topic I am super serious about. Full college paper levels of serious. Gonna need to know how you want your sources cited.

This is a fascinating take tbh, and I would love to hear more about how you came to this conclusion. Allow me to show you why my position is different.

First:

I think this image says a lot. Leo's a daddy's boy long before anything like parentification could possibly come into play. Also it's really cute, look at him loving his dad!!

Second, let's talk parentification. Boiled down to its basics, parentification is when a child, usually the eldest, acts like a secondary or replacement parent. This is the part that really gets me, because I just don't see any evidence of it in the movies at all.

We do get to see some scenes from when they are kids, and no where is it suggested that Leo is anything other than another one of the boys.

Sure, Mikey hides behind him when play-fighting with Raph after the buck-buck scene, but that's just younger sibling behavior. No where is it implied that this happens because anyone expects it of Leo. That, I think, might be the closest to "parentification" that occurs in the movies.

The thing is, I don't think Leo has been the leader very long at the beginning of the 2014 movie. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if it's a move Splinter made just before or even as the movie starts. Leo's and Raph's argument really solidifies that for me:

Raph: And who put you in charge?

Leo: You know who did.

This smacks, on Leo's part, of someone borrowing another's authority to shore up their own. That tells me that Leo at least does not feel that he has this authority on his own merit, that he's new to leadership. Raph senses this like a shark in bloody water, and he pushes because there's vulnerability there. (more on this later *rubs hands together in glee*)

I think that there is evidence in the 2016 movie that Leo is relatively new to a position of authority as well. His struggle to maintain the delicate balance of his brother's personalities and the fact that he allows his own personality to get in the way of being a good leader are prime examples.

These are pitfalls that a parentified person would already have experienced and would be able to avoid, and so they wouldn't have happened if Leo was parentified.

Third, let's talk about Leo and Raph.

So, my position here is that Leo and Raph DO have a normal sibling relationship, at least as normal as it can get when you are turtle mutants living in the sewers with only each other for company.

Anecdotal, I know, but I have a bit of experience with a similar dynamic to the one you assigned to them. I am the oldest of three, and my sister (middle) and I did NOT get along as kids. It got to the point where I thought as teens that once I left the house we would never talk to each other ever again.

Perceived favoritism was definitely an issue in my and my sister's relationship. Is it an issue with Leo and Raph? I honestly don't think we get enough time with Splinter in the movies to determine that concretely. It's definitely possible, but I believe something different is, either concurrently with or instead of favoritism, at play here.

I know it's easy to forget because they look Like That, but the turtles are teenagers. They are immature and don't always know how to express themselves. And Raph in particular struggles because he feels so strongly. It can be hard to control it when your emotions are strong like that, don't ask me how I know.

However, he gives himself away at the end of the 2014 movie. "Every time... I pushed you beyond your limits, it was because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you!"

Remember when I said that Raph sensed Leo's vulnerability and pushed on it? We've come back baby! I am firmly in the camp of 'both Raph and Leo are good leaders in their own way', and I think this is part of what makes Raph a good leader.

Sometimes Raph is actually annoyed at Leo for whatever reason, being told what to do the most common I think. But!! Remember, Raph also believes in his brothers, Leo included. So he puts Leo on the spot in a mostly controlled environment to help him learn how to be a leader. There's a lot more I could say here, but that's a Raph post, and this is about Leo.

So is it favoritism, Raph's need for independence, or Raph pushing Leo that causes tension in their relationship? I think it's a bit of all of that and more.

There is a fourth section to this post, about Splinter, but it is now almost four in the morning, I have to get up in like two hours, and I already fell asleep once while writing this. But know that in this iteration at least, Splinter is a decent single father of four boys, he did not parentify Leo, and any favoritism is unintentional.

Anyway, in my house we spend a lot of time talking about how much Leo loves his dad.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

sorry if you've already mentioned but what (re?)ignited your love of comics/x-men/cherik? curious because there are so many different adaptations of them

i think im gonna speak for a few (or a lot of) people when i say that TL;DR the wolverine x deadpool movie that came out this summer is what pulled me back into comics and i COULD leave it there but i will go into excruciating and unnecessary detail instead because i love an origin story and i love oversharing.

under the cut tho because im nice sometimes (there's also wxdp doodles in here. if you want to see that)

ironically (and probably commonly), growing up i was more of an avengers kid. Kinda. Loosely <- binge watched the cartoons and movies and read copious amounts of comics and fics and i am hoarding fanart in my old dresser as we speak ok 'loosely' is a modest lie.

embarrassingly i remember getting into discus cause of captain america LMAO so yeah needless to say i was a Humble Fan- me joining my school's comic class/club didnt help either (shoutout to my teach from that she was the realest one out there for. A Multitude of reasons). she definitely is was inspires me to even draw still and make comics and i often think bout the tips i learned from her class tbh she was great

back to the movies t and comics tho, i got into em because my brother would offer to take me and that's how we'd hang out (i rarely saw movies in theaters and i even more rarely went anywhere as a teenager. still kinda like that today tbh ooops) and yk. it just snowballed after that.

my brother and i have always liked comics- he just more than me for a while (though he still very much loves comics and As We Know From My Posts we still talk about them whenever i see him To An Exhausting Degree)

durin then i was really into stony and i have a few surviving doodles i made but those are between me and god. and anyone who asks tbh LOL

'snap can you make this related to x-men again this is long' ok so fast forward to This Summer again I Still Don't Really See Movies but my brother offered to take me and this was the first time i'd actually seen an x-men movie in full

as a kid i only remember seeing the 'perfection' scene between erik and raven in first class while i was channel surfing. pretty sure i changed the channel after seeing mystique naked cause i was scared my parents would get mad at me if they caught me watching it LOL

BUT MOVING ON As A Kid i think it's also natural you'll sometimes watch 92 if it's on And I Did though evidently it didn't stick too hard (i do remember really liking beast and gambit though.... still do really): my knowledge of x-men was. INCREDIBLY sparse. like diabolically so so i didnt have too much expectations (aside from the fact i vaguely liked deadpool beforehand).

tbh i dont know why my bro never took me to see any of the x-men movies. it's not like he doesn't Also like x-men (90% sure nightcrawler's his favorite but my brother will be caught dead saying he has absolute favorites like that)- he owns a bitch load of deadpool comics/omnibus sets too (of which ive read over the years and reread this year) but Shrug moving on

Much Like Most Of The Internet i fell down the rabbit hole that way. i have some doodles i made a couple days after seeing WxDP that i now have an excuse to throw at all of you Look And Perceive

and so. As I Do. i got curious and told myself i'd binge watch all the x-men movies the week before i went back to school And Then I Did ft. My Brother Sometimes and then i said i'd binge watch all of '92 and And I Did That ft. My Brother Sometimes But Less So and now we're here. currently watching Evolution...

once i got to school i realized i lived near a comic shop and started getting into the comics that way (the first ones i got since going down this rabbit hole was Magneto Was Right!, The Resurrection of Magneto, and The Trial of Magneto. if you were curious !!!!! clearly i didnt care too much about context i just needed to see My Guy jelvejlkvj i have no regrets and Evidently ive read more since)

i'm pretty sure what dragged me into cherik specifically was the fact i saw a clip of The Famous ending to 92 where erik's aghast at the notion jean even has to question his love for charles. i think that was what officially had me refocus my lens on them: not a single poolverine thought after that LOL (all the cherik posting i saw on twitter definitely helped too but that was the nail in the coffin for any other interests i had: i was locked into cherik and x-men in general now)

that clip specifically, i was surprised at the fact they- frequently even- have the x-men franchise say erik loves charles and vice versa so bluntly. even if it's not meant to be romantic, i fear im just a fan of how casually the word's thrown around with them two and i got tender bout it all. Then Yk. i just live for the drama. the hilarity even. the sincerity .... they make me sick if i think of them too long so im gonna end it here

before i go tho ironically enough, the first x-men issue i owned was This one (story a this is that while stuck in some wacko dimension charles accidentally gets himself trapped in logan's mind while utilizing his astral projection. if you were curious). pretty sure i got it for free with another comic set i got years ago since our old comic shop loved to do that, but it's poetic aint it. maybe ill doodle something referencing it..

i should probably look into finishing this arc someday im Dummy curious to even know how it started and how it ends.....

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

[anonyanonymouse]

🙈

[mars-ipan]

steroids have decided the two emotions for tonight are Gamer Rage and Deep Yearning Sadness

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[tj-crochets]

*laying on the floor*

Hey so is it normal for quilt piecing to be very fun but also utterly exhausting

(^^^has chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Why is this a surprise)

oh absolutely! Ironing and cutting out fabric are both very high spoons tasks for me I have never been officially diagnosed with chronic fatigue but I do have POTS and severe iron deficiency and I think there's some overlap there? It helped me a lot to get a chair and change my ironing board so I could iron sitting down, and I have my fabric cutting surface for quilts set up so I can do at least some of it sitting down as well. Pinning the quilt sandwich (which I do by crawling all over the floor) always requires a break afterwards for me, and I need breaks when doing the quilting for anything larger than a baby quilt because hauling the blanket around to get it in the right position to sew gets tiring very quickly. The piecing itself isn't as tiring for me, but I can see how it easily could be depending on your quilting setup

[neverendingford]

.

[allovertheplace-writing]

Shroom 😭 ilysm <33 thank you, thank you for being my friend!

@nordicbananas (ty for tagging me! i didn't know i was your first friend on here - i'm very much honored <333) @omkookie @azxremoon @astrxealis @meltingblue

i may not have many friends, but i love each and every one of you so so much. you guys have always motived me to keep writing and to keep being here on tumblr. without a doubt, i wouldn't have gotten this far without any of you. So thank you ♡

2023 is coming to an end so this is my annual I love my online friends so fucking much you wouldn't believe me if I told you post.

[kerosene-saint]

I still love self ship so much and consider myself a selfshipper but I genuinely had to leave the community due to the amount of fighting abt proship/comship people. like. you had to pick a side. I found it easier to say "yeah sure. I'm proship. I guess." even though I wasn't because I'm really genuinely neutral on it. I don't find it helpful to put it under either label. I don't fucking care. you're allowed to write whatever the fuck you want even if I don't like it. which "technically" fits under the label of proship. but the problem was that I am not comfortable with every ship out there. not to mention people got so fucking annoying about the subject. I was tired of dealing with people acting like neutrals were terrible people just as bad as proshippers, proshippers were straight up abusers, and antis were the purest souls of all OR proshippers are all amazing people actually and have never done a thing wrong, neutrals were just one thing away from turning "bad", and antis were trying to suppress our freedom of speech and they're all horrible people who attack everyone and dox people and do really bad things and they are all like that.

BASICALLY I WAS TIRED OF THE STUPID PETTY FIGHTING FROM EVERYONE AND HOW IF I DIDN'T PICK A SIDE I WAS SEEN AS ENEMY NUNBER ONE. AND IF I PICKED "THE WRONG SIDE" I WOULD BE ATTACKED BY THE OTHER SIDE. IT WAS SHITTY. I HATED IT. AND IT IS SO BAKED INTO EVERY ASPECT OF THE SELFSHIPPING COMMUNITY.

[puppyypawsss]

It’s really fun and really cool when ur mom dismisses ur anxiety and makes u feel stupid and crazy and AAUUUHHVGBHHH.