#...but i know its probably us dumbass first and second gens saying this bullshit

[hotmess-exe]

I just read a comment on an afropop music video saying "Nigerians are carrying the continent"

man, it's one thing when everyone else does it. but I BETTER NOT start seeing Africans conflating Nigeria The Nation with Africa The Continent. THEY don't see a difference in our art or music or histories or cultures or tribes or languages because Africa is still a fucking country to most non-Africans. but YOU, fellow African. You know the fuck better.

I had better the fuck not see that bullshit. being most visible or most recognizable on the global stage just means you're winning a popularity contest. Popularity ≠ Quality. And especially not in a popularity contest thrown by a world that never has and continues not to value our lives, our autonomy, and ESPECIALLY our arts and culture.

[theyanderespecialist]

Two Husbands 1 (One Shot) Negan X OC Marie X Axel

[Hello! My Sexy Readers, I am here once more with My co author and we are doing another walking dead Request off of wattpad by BABIBENJI This one is is of Axel (The white prisoner that was locked in the cafeteria in the prison arc) X Marie OC X Negan

Axel and Marie actually are dating and he lived in this! Anyways please enjoy this chapter here Everyone!]

(No One's POV)

It had been a few weeks since Axel had left the prison, and a good friend of his from Rick's group. She smiled at him. He wasn't the smartest man, but he was well meaning.

However..he also was not exactly the most violent, and put a lot a lot of faith in other people doing the same despite being in prison with violent criminals.

So when Marie saw a group as she was weary. "Axel.. there are people coming.."

"they are probably just scavenging too."

Well now there were held at gun point kneeling on the ground as Marie glared at Axel.

Axel was looking down he knew he messed up again and he knew that he was going pay for this one. Just not in the way he thinks.

"Well, well isin't that one sexy little thing." A man says. "I could have her sit on my face all day!"

"SHUT UP!" Axel says a burst of Jealousy. "That is my girlfriend your talking about..."

(I mean...this is better than dealing with a pissed off marie)

(XD True dat XD)

Marie looked at him, an expression that he knew to tell him to shut the fuck up.

However what was said was said..and the man turned to Axel

Then turned to Marie, then Axel, and Marie and finally Axel. "How did you get a babe like that!?" He asks honestly baffled.

"uh--"

"Oh come on!" He looks at Axel as he gave a smirk. "You can tell me, actually." He turned to Marie. "Let me guess, he's got a great personality. No wait- he makes you laugh."

(I mean..it's true)

She nodded. "Well yeah." She says "but that doesn't mean anything, I love him--its none of your business anyway you fucking boomer."

"I am not that old!" He says. "Well if your little boy toy was gone you be free to be mine so Bye bye boy toy."

He lifts his bat to bash in the skull but Marie tackled Axel out of the way.

(that's true, he's a gen xer)

She used herself to create a shield as one of negan's men held him back and pointed out this little fact to him.

"Well well My little clingy girl, looks like we are in deal making mode." He says

"deal making? You tried to kill my fucking boyfriend!"she yelled as he just smiled.

"Holy hell..." Axel muttered in shock

"Well I can still kill your boyufriend." He says

"no!" She yelled as she was clearly getting distressed as her anger was turning into fear. She never had to deal with this before.

"See Darling I want you to be my Golden wife, the one I have a family with but if keeping this limp noodle alive as your second husband is what is takes then I am willing to play ball." Negan says.

"....Golden wife? Are you..implying you have one already- more than one? Because I dated a Mormon once, and I vowed I'd never date a man who can't be loyal to me."

(but she cool with having a second husband xD)

(XD Yup)

"As my Golden Wife I will be loyal to you and only if you want me to divorce my other wives I will." He says.

He was desperate for her and she was worth it.

"and If I say no?" "Then I kill your Boy toy and take.you anyway." He said as Marie and Axel share a look.

"....fine.." she said softly as he gave a smirk.

(Later that night, Negan's pov, at his community.)

I glare at Axel as I passed by, heading into my home, passing by my other wives as they were drinking and talking. God they never do shut up.

I walked into my room seeing Marie already under the covered trying to fall asleep as I place Lucille down and crawl into bed only for her to turn and glare at me.

"You touch me, I'll fucking take that bat and shove it down your goddamn throat. It's bad enough I have to share a bed with you."

"Oh come on, your my blushing Bride!" I say. "I just want to hold ya."

(Mmmmmhmmmmm I smell bullshit XD)

(Dude you do not wanna play with a pissed marie)

(Amen!)

She turned around. "First off, not your fucking bride. There was no ceremony, no papers, no rings, not even a fucking piece of bread as a substitute to cake. Second off you threatened my actual significant other, and third off, you fucking touch me, and the next time I get my period, I'll shove my pad into your mouth."

(oh my god Holy fuck)

(Dammmnnnn)

I throw myself on back this suck so much! When I got her I was expecting some bed breaking fun, not ball busting bullshit.

(hey now likely hood she's gonna cuddle up to you is high She's been sleeping on the cold hard ground for weeks)

(XD yup)

I sigh and close my eyes falling asleep only to wake up to someone touching me my eyes snap open and Marie is cuddling into me

(this is the start of a....really unhealthy relationship..s)

(Yes it is)

She was asleep still but her arm was draped around me as moved closer to me. She then threw a leg over me and wrapped it around me.

(I legit do this XD)

I stop as I looked down at our legs--was she not wearing pants?

(A valid question)

(XD Get it get it good~ XD)

She then sat up and stripped her top and now was naked. She then laid down right ontop of me and I was rock hard. God fucking damnit. What kind of cruel test is this? I do strip ony half sleeping state

(XD I do too XD)

I looked at her and she buries her face in my neck

God...please let me get through the night..

(Next day.)

Well..this went about as well as I expected as she hit me with pillow after pillow.

"I can't believe you just let that happen!"

"I didn't even see much of anything!" I really didn't.

She threw another pillow at me. Why did I have eleven decorative pillows?

"Ugh! You you MAN THING!" She snouts.

(Lady D XD JK)

She pushed me out of my own room as I glared but take a breath. This is just a rocky start, but the honeymoon phase will kick in eventually..

(Time skip)

"Where the hell is Axel?.huh? Do any of you dumbasses know where he is?" I ask as no one seemed to know as I walk out past the trucks when I hear a noise, giggling coming from inside of the trunks

I walk over only to see him on top of someone, however the only person not in attendance to the daily meeting..was him and Marie. I immediately race over seeing Marie under him, her shirt pushed up. Oh hell no this was not going to happen until I was with her first!

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS first part done I hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy!]

[avengers-nextgen]

The Aftermath III

“Have you seen the headlines?” Tony asked, looking intently at his daughter. She hesitantly put the screw driver down sensing that something was obviously important for him to be bothering her while working.

“No...should I have?” Piper asked skeptically.

“Listen, before I show you just know that this is meant to be pure gossip. The media needs a story so they make one up off of thin strands of fact,” Tony pulled a folded sheet of newspaper from his back pocket and smoothed it out on Piper’s work bench. “I knew it’d happen eventually but I was hoping not for another few years.“

Piper took the creased paper with care and examined the headline: Young Stark With Girlfriend? Piper scanned the sheet with wide eyes spotting a picture of her with Gen at some science convention they’d been to for fun the past weekend. “This is real?”

“Yes,” Tony nodded, “and chances are it’s not going to stop there.”

“Well, what do I do?” Piper frowned. “We aren’t even dating. This is bullshit.”

“I’m not sure if there’s anything you can do,” Tony sighed, “and if you make a statement denouncing this they’ll either twist your words or make a big deal out of the denial.”

“So I’m just stuck?”

“Yes,” Tony nodded, “but having thick skin will help. I’m telling you about this so you don’t get blindsided by it later. A few pointers I can give you are laugh at the headlines, don’t take them personally, and if you can- confuse the reporters.”

“Whatever,” Piper grumbled, shoving the paper away, “it’ll probably blow over.”

Tony studied her for a moment and knew she wanted to be left alone based on the slump of her shoulders-it mirrored Pepper exactly. “Alright, but if you need anything...”

“I know,” Piper pressed her lips into a thin line.

— — —

She expected things to return to normal fairly soon and kept an eye on the headlines. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case, and with mild irritation she dressed for the day, made last minute touches to the presentation, and headed out to the Renewable Energy Conference.

She’d promised months ago to offer research and develop a small prototype device that would store energy collected by solar cells. If all went well the prototype would be developed into a large storage system that could very well change the energy industry and lead to a more eco friendly environment.

For most of the ride there Piper zoned out staring intently at the back of the driver’s seat. She felt nervous-well, more nervous than normal-and when they arrived her heart leapt in her throat at the sight of reporters.

With shaking hands she collected the device and the case holding its design prints. Gen had arrived earlier along with Piper’s mom to handle most of the paper work she didn’t understand and they now stood expectantly at the top of the lecture hall steps.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Piper bounded hurriedly up the steps to where they stood, “Let’s get this over with.”

“You know you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Pepper frowned.

“I’ll be fine, besides this is more important than me. It’ll be helpful if everything goes well,” Piper pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Alright, well, they set up the stage so you could present and these are the notes you want to remember,” Gen held out a manilla folder that Piper struggled to take due to her full hands. At last, she resorted to taking it with her teeth.

“Very professional,” Pepper winced. Piper only rolled her eyes and rushed inside not wanting to be late. As promised by Gen, the stage was set with its pull down screen and projector already running.

Heading back stage, Piper quickly reviewed the notes she’d been given before giving the Okay to the manager. Out in front of the stage the crowd slowly quieted and with the manager’s cue Piper walked briskly to the small podium in the corner.

She was aware of the applause but it wasn’t only background noise to her thoughts. Taking another breath to steady her voice she began the rehearsed lines, “thank you all for coming, I would first like to say that it is an honor to be here with such intelligent and creative people. I know we all want to make an impact on the energy industry in a positive manner which also provides a safer choice for the environment.”

The crowd nodded and murmured in agreement. Piper waited for the noise to die down before continuing.

“After many trial and errors I managed to come up with something I think all of you will find interesting,” with a click of the button from her small slide show remote the screen shifted to an image of her prototype, “and hopefully a useful idea. This is a storage cell which can actually absorb not only currently produced energy but extra energy from solar cells. For a while it’s been a problem where energy is created but not effectively used due to the second law of thermodynamics. Well, this will combat the waste that we need to treasure. While only a prototype it’s proven effective under countless tests.”

Piper then switched to a slide showcasing all of the data she’d collected during the trials. She noticed some of the members in the crowd taking notes or exchanging ideas with one another and it seemed they were liking her design. With a bit of renewed confidence she pressed on.

“The material to make these is also relatively cheap and easily manufactured. This allows an overall lower production cost that benefits everyone,” Piper glanced at the screen to see her list of financial receipts. They were well organized and perfectly kept. She’d have to thank her mom and Gen for that later.

As she continued with the presentation all of her nerves disappeared and Piper felt at ease once more. She scolded herself for being so afraid when clearly there was no reason to be.

“Now, I would like to thank a few people for helping make this happen. One of those people is my father who has been very supportive along with my mother who makes sure I don’t lose my head in all of this, and lastly my assistant Gen. Without those three I probably would be up here in my pajamas,” Piper smirked earning a few laughs from the crowd. “With that being said I understand that there is a Q and A portion of this so let’s get at it. I am your source of info.”

At first the questions were relevant and Piper found herself enjoying the discussion clearly in her element. But as time went on the reporters gained more courage and began to drown out the voices of her colleagues.

“Is it true that you have a girlfriend?” One voice called out amongst the swarm.

“That question isn’t relevant to the topic at hand.”

“Do you in fact have an affair going on with your assist-“

“Once again not relevant. I’m not sure you people understand what science is,” the joke made her colleagues roar with laughter but it only seemed to egg on the piranhas with pens and notepads.

“How do your parents feel about this?”

“The device? They love it.”

“That isn’t what I was referring to Miss Stark.”

“You should learn to be more clear in your questions.”

“Are you or are you not gay?”

“That is one ballsy question- and so what?”

The more questions that came the more Piper was aware of how hot she felt. The stage lights seemed to be frying her like a fish and she wasn’t happy about it. The last thing she wanted was to sweat through her clothes but with all that was happening it was nearly unavoidable.

“We have to get her out of there,” Pepper sighed, passing her clip board to a dumb founded Gen. Piper watched as her mom wove through the crowd towards the wings of the stage. She wasn’t sure what the woman had planned but she was all too eager to let her mother take over the microphone.

“Alright, thank you for your useless questions and for ruining a perfectly wonderful presentation. The fact of the matter here is that you have no appreciation for the amount of work and intelligence in this building. The people you have cut off are here for reasons more important than your headlines, and we would like to get back to the discussion at hand for their sake and mine. I’ve had about enough of your repeated idiocy and would be extremely happy - and I believe everyone else would agree-if you took your cheap two dollar pens and left.” Pepper’s words received a chorus of applause and yells of agreement. The other scientists had enough of the pesky reporters and looked like they wanted to stone them.

Seeming to take the hint, the reporters slowly trickled out of the building completely flabbergasted.

“Well said!” Called a husky voice to which Pepper smiled.

“Thank you, now due to the unforeseen circumstances we are actually out of time but I will gladly provide contact information so you can ask Piper anything you wish. She will gladly reply. She’s been very excited over this and it’s an honest shame people ruined it,” Pepper glanced over her shoulder at the rather pale face of her daughter.

When the conference was over Piper sat quietly in the car the whole way home until she was finally in her room. Once there, she fired up her laptop and proceeded to respond to numerous emails from the men and women at the conference.

What surprised her most were the remarks of supporter and apologies on her behalf for the reporters. She didn’t quite understand why the community would feel the need to apologize for them but there was something reassuring about their reaching out.

A soft knock sounded on Piper’s door interrupting her work, “Come on in.”

As expected it was Gen. She seemed rather nervous about something before finally blurting out the words, “I think it might be best if I wasn’t working with you anymore. Clearly it presents some issues that get in the way of-“

“Gen, I’m not going to let some dumbass reporters make me fire my assistant and friend” Piper frowned, “they can go after me all they want but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably the only one who can handle the mess that is Piper Stark. If I fire you who else is going to keep up with my stupidity?”

“Piper, I don’t know...” Gen chewed anxiously on her bottom lip, “it just seems that this isn’t a good idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“Us.”

“Why do you say that?” Piper frowned, closing her laptop carefully.

“Like it or not we’ve been avoiding the obvious. And the longer we pretend certain things didn’t happen the worse everything is going to be.” Gen remained awkwardly by the door with her back against it like it was helping her stand.

“None of that meant anything, it’s fine,” Piper waved her hand and opened her laptop again ready to skim through more emails.

“That’s the thing, it did.”This caught Piper’s attention once more. “If I’m being honest, I do have feelings for you. They confuse me and don’t make much sense but they’re there.”

“Oh?” Piper pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Oh? What does that mean?” Gen worried.

“Nothing, I just didn’t know that’s how you felt,” Piper shrugged.

“So, you don’t have anything to say? You’re just going to shrug?” Gen’s timid voice took on a hint of irritation.

“I don’t know what to say,” Piper admitted. “I don’t know how one classifies feelings as romantic or not.”

“I see,” Gen nodded, “well, think on it I guess. I don’t know...”

Piper watched Gen leave looking uncharacteristically flustered. Sighing, Piper distracted herself with work until nearly an hour later someone came barging into her room.

“Piper Stark, you absolute jerk!” Alex frowned crossing her arms.

“Oh no what’d I do?” Piper worried.

Alex kicked the door shut behind her and crossed the room to pry the laptop free from Piper’s hands.

“When someone confesses their feelings for you you don’t just shrug and go back to work,” Alex glowered.

“I didn’t know what to say or do! I don’t even know how I feel,” Piper protested.

“Is it that you don’t know or you don’t want to know?” Alex arched a brow knowing she’d caught Piper off guard. “That’s what I thought. Listen, I get you’re in a tricky spot because of your family name and the media but don’t let it dictate important decisions like this. If you always let external factors dictate things in your life you’re never going to be happy.”

“How do I know if I like someone? You have a girlfriend! Help me out!”

“Oh wow, very observant of you,” Alex snorted looking seriously at her friend, “If Gen disappeared tomorrow how would you feel?”

“Uh, kind of confused, a bit lost, maybe even a little lonely?”

“If you had the chance to have someone else as your assistant would you take them?”

“No, I told her she’s the only one who can keep up with me,” Piper explained.

“Do you think life would be better had you not met?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you want to take back any moments you’ve had together?”

“That would be dumb and it’s impossible.”

“So,” Alex narrowed her eyes, “You’re telling me you wouldn’t be able to live without her and apparently that doesn’t qualify as having feelings?”

Piper sat there for a moment processing all that she’d said and the more she did the more she realized Alex was right. Not having Gen around would suck ass and frankly Piper didn’t like or tolerate anyone else aside from her.

“I see your point.”

“Good,” Alex snorted, “now go find her!”

Clambering out of bed Piper was pegged on the back of the head by Alex and a pillow. “Dumby!”

“I get it, I get it!” Piper grumbled, wandering around the tower until she located the ever elusive Gen tucked under a car in the garage on a trolley. “Wow, look! I found some legs!”

“Ha Ha very funny,” Came the dry reply.

“Can I talk?” Piper asked setting her foot on the trolley and tugging Gen back out into view.

“I’m listening.”

“I was a jerk and I’m sorry. Alex beat some sense into me with a pillow,” Piper grinned, “so to make it up to you would you want to go on a proper date with me?”

“So you do like me?” Gen asked, arching a brow.

“More or less,” Piper smiled earning a glare in return, “I’m kidding! Yes, I like you.”

“I have half a mind to kick you in the knee,” Gen frowned.

“I probably deserve it, Piper admitted. “But seriously, I am sorry. I’m just a little scared. I’ve never been the center of direct national attention before.”

“Understandable, but it’s okay to be scared. I was when Killian tried to kill us, but you just have to manage it,” Gen explained. “Now, let me finish fixing this and I’ll decide on the date.”

“You think I can’t plan?” Piper scoffed.

“I know you can’t,” Gen smirked, rolling back beneath the car and leaving Piper as confused as she had been at the start of everything.

[demi-dufresne]

Haunted*

Hello! Still feeling particularly halloween-esque. Here’s another entry for the red vs blue bingo, hosted by @rvbficwars ! This one’s for gen, seeing as I’d probably tag it as that if it were on ao3 or something. Break a leg, blue team!

Church hated halloween. He fucking hated it. It was this time of year that kids got the bright idea to whip out the Ouija boards, trying to summon deadass spirits who want to haunt their houses or some shit. Nine times out of ten, one of them would move the pointer thing anyways. What was even the purpose of calling him there? Church hated it.

Like, okay, October did have its perks. For starters, it was the time he actually had the most communication with the living, being a ghost and all. That was pretty nice. He had very little memories still intact from when he was alive, and being around living people sometimes brought them back. And he really liked the smell of pumpkins, which was all over the damn place this month. So cool. October. Not cool? The responsibilities of being dead.

Every time a person put their grubby little fingers on the Ouija board, the nearest ghost was summoned. Okay, yeah. That makes sense. It just sucked that, in Church’s little suburb of Valhalla, he was pretty sure he was the only dead guy who cared to stick around.

One perk he got out of that? Messing with people.

It was twenty days until Halloween when he got yet another call. Every time this happened, Church felt like his stomach was being dragged up his throat by a vacuum cleaner. This time was no different. He choked on air, as if he needed to breathe, and then suddenly, bam! He was in some random house in the middle of town. Grand.

“What do you even want?” He grumbled. Of course, they couldn’t hear him. There were four kids sitting on the floor there, each with one hand pressed to the pointer thing. Church hadn’t been dumb enough to mess with this shit as a kid. Like, come on. You’re begging for trouble.

“Uh, dear dead guy, or something,” one of them said. He wore a obnoxiously teal (aqua?) shirt, and for some reason held his head down in prayer. “Welcome to my house, I guess. I live here. It’s pretty great. Bet you’re glad to be in my presence. But uh, hey. Don’t like, kill us, I guess. Amen.” The other three nodded, one in dark blue a little more enthusiastically than the others.

That first one of the kids- okay, hold on. They weren’t really kids. They were somewhere around seventeen, old enough to know better. That almost pissed Church off even more. “Okay, guys,” the dude said. He had dark black hair cropped close to his head, with a darker skin tone than the rest. “We need to remember to be, like, polite and stuff. I think. Maybe. Or wait, did it say aggressive? I don’t know, I’ve only looked this up on wiki-how once, in like, seventh grade.”

“Thanks, Tucker. Nice preparation. Always great to hear you have an expert on your team,” a second guy said. Ginger, curly hair, glasses. Looked like a fucking dork to Church.

“Let’s just get this over with. Why can’t we like, sit around and eat popcorn and watch movies like normal teenagers?” This third dude looked kinda… Hawaiian, almost? He definitely had a point, though. These motherfuckers could be doing literally anything else, and they chose to summon ghosts. Great.

“I like ghosts. My cat Apples was a ghost once. She came to me in a dream,” said the fourth one. Don’t do drugs, kids, Church thought to himself. Even sitting down Church could tell this guy was tall as hell. Something about him seemed familiar. Fucking druggies. There was always one of those in a group, it seemed.

“That’s nice, Caboose, but we’re not here to summon a dead cat. Don’t think they can talk, anyway,” the first guy- Tucker- said. “Alright, come on. Let’s think of some questions.”

“Ooh, I know. What is your favorite color?” The Caboose guy said. Church felt his face fold into a scowl. He came all this way for this? Who the hell cared about his favorite color? He was a ghost, for Christ’s sake! At least ask about, like, ghost stuff! Or something!

Either way, he was bound to the damn thing. “Hey, look! It’s actually moving,” nerd boy said. Church touched the pointer, sliding it across the board. The four teens started in awe, watching it glide slowly. Church didn’t have fucking time for this.

“Uh… B- wait, no- oh, yeah. B-L-U-D? Blood? Oh my god it’s gonna kill us! Why the hell couldn’t we have just like, watched Star Wars like you guys said we would? Holy shit I don’t wanna die,” the Hawaiian guy said.

“Shut up, Grif, it’s B-L-U-E. Blue. Dumbass,” nerd boy said.

“Oh. Hah. Right,” Hawaiian guy- Grif- continued. “Favorite color blue. Gotcha.”

“This isn’t even real, it’s not like it matters,” nerd boy complained.

“Oh, boo hoo, I’m Simmons and I don’t believe in things I can’t see,” Tucker mocked. “Grow a pair, dude. Grif, your turn for a question.”

“Right. Uh, I guess… What’s your name?”

If Church was able to kill them, he just might. Everyone started with that stupid question. Like, he was never asked anything of relevance. ‘Hey Church, what’s it like being dead?’ ‘Hey Church, do you want us to light a pumpkin candle?’ ‘Hey Church, how do you feel about not eating?’ Nah, instead it was a bunch of bullshit about favorite colors and names. Ugh. It drove Church nuts.

He did toy with the idea of giving his first name. Then again, who respects a ghost named Leonard?

“C---H-U-R-C-H. Church. Huh. That’s a weird name,” Tucker said. He then turned his head to the ceiling, shouting at what he probably thought was Church. “We didn’t ask you your place of worship, dude!” Church sighed.

“Oh look, he’s spelling something out again!” Grif called.

“I-M… okay, I’m, what’s next? Oh. J-E-W-I-S-H. Hey, he’s Jewish,” nerd boy- Simmons- said.

“Never said he was a dude,” Grif said. Simmons bit his lip.

“I- I just hope it’s a dude, I wouldn’t talk well to, uh, lady ghosts I don’t think-” Simmons stuttered out.

“Apples was a lady ghost,” Caboose said. “Oh! I know! Ghosty-man, do you know Apples?” Church laughed. If there was a druggie’s cat-ghost floating around with him, maybe life would be a little more interesting. All four teens started intently as the pointer moved to “No.”

“Whelp, sorry Caboose, looks like our Jewish Church here doesn’t know your dead cat friend,” Tucker said. “Church! Tell me buddy, are you the only ghost here?”

Church looked around the room. Of fucking course he was. Everybody else died and got to go up or down, but Church? He didn’t know. They couldn’t find a place for him, so they stuck him in the middle. Figures. He was alone his entire life, why should his afterlife be any different? He moved the pointer to “Yes.”

“I don’t know guys. I don’t think this is real. Tucker, are you moving it?” Simmons asked.

“The only place my fingers will be moving tonight is inside your sister. Bow chica bow wow.”

“I don’t even have a sister, assbag,” Simmons said. “Now grow up. This is fake and we all know it.” He stood to leave.

“He’s the only reason I’m here. He’s out, I’m out,” Grif said.

“Wait!” Tucker called. “Here, let me- Church! If you’re hearing me, prove you exist. Like, I don’t know, float something or whatever.”

This was another thing Church hated about Ouija boards. The people behind them almost never knew what they were doing.

Church moved the handle to “No” again. Tucker whined.

“Aww, come on man, don’t be like that!” Tucker said. Church rolled his eyes. “Wait guys, don’t leave, he’s moving it again. Uh, C-A-N-T. Can’t. Oh, come on. Dammit, Church,” Tucker said.

“Right. You two have fun with your fake ghost. We all know it’s you,” Simmons said. Caboose looked up at him with wide eyes. “Well, at least, Grif and I do. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna head.” He left Tucker’s bedroom, Grif trailing behind.

“Hey, ghost-Church,” Tucker whispered. “If they leave the house, you should haunt their asses.”

Okay. There was one rule of the Ouija board that it bugged the hell outta Church if people didn’t follow. That rule was saying goodbye. Like, not only is it common courtesy, but it leaves the portal stuck here. He’d have to stay in the shitty room where the kids were goofing off, and he couldn’t leave until they opened it again and closed it properly this time. If Church had learned anything about these motherfuckers over the past twenty minutes, it was that they certainly wouldn’t know how to close it. That aside, he didn’t want to see what Tucker got up to in here, his bedroom. Fucking gross.

If they did ask him to do something like a haunting, where he’d need to leave the house, however… and he agreed to it… he wouldn’t be stuck here. That sounded nice.

“S-U-R-E. Oh my god he’s actually gonna haunt them,” Tucker said to Caboose. “Dude I wasn’t being serious.”

“T-O-O, too what? L-A-T-E- oh god, dammit,” Tucker swore. “Fuck.”

“Maybe ghost-Church could say hello to Apples for me. I know they’d be best friends,” Caboose said. He still seemed a little too familiar.

Behind him, Church heard a door close. He followed after the noise, knowing Simmons and Grif to be the culprits. Afterall, he had some haunting to do.

II.

“Ooh, it’s really cold all of a sudden,” Simmons said, wrapping his arms around himself. Church knew that was his fault. Stand too close to someone and wow, it’s like they’re a living icicle.

“It is fall, dumbass,” Grif said. “Here, take my jacket.” He shrugged an orange jacket off of his shoulders, passing it to Simmons.

“You sure?”

“I don’t need a jacket, I’m always hot,” Grif boasted. Church smirked, taking a step closer to Grif. Grif visibly shivered.

“Grif, you’re a fucking liar. Now come on, we can’t just stand here on Tucker’s doorstep all evening. We still on for pumpkins tonight?” Simmons said.

“Oh yeah! I almost forgot about that. My mom did buy them this morning, so they’re ready whenever you are,” Grif said, walking off the porch. Church was all but beaming. Not only did he get to fuck with these bozos, but he fucking loved pumpkins. If only he could eat, man. His (after)life would be complete.

The two of them walked silently, side by side down the autumn streets. Leaves were everywhere. Yellows and oranges and dark reds. It was kinda pretty.

And damn, what Church wouldn’t give to have the energy to read their minds right then. Shame he got so tired after a seance, because usually that wasn’t a problem. The joys of being a ghost, he guessed.

“Hey, Grif, can I ask you something?” Simmons said, looking over.

“Yeah, sure,” Grif said. “You want to borrow the jacket?”

“Uh… y-yeah. Right. Thanks,” Simmons said, his face suddenly flushing red. Grif passed him the coat, and he shrugged it over his shoulders wordlessly. A few moments passed before he said something. “Ugh, it smells like smoke.”

“Well, I smoke, my mom smokes… and I’m pretty sure Kai smokes weed,” Grif said.

“It’s gross. You’re gonna get cancer and die, dumbass,” Simmons said.

“Yep. That’d leave you sad and lonely.”

“Ppsh. Yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without you eating all of my parents’ food and making bad first impressions. And second impressions. And really, all the impressions,” Simmons said sarcastically.

“You eat all my parents food too,” Grif protested.

“Uh, yeah. If by that you mean I eat half a serving and then you finish mine, yours, and Kai’s without even asking, then yes. I do eat all your food,” Simmons said.

“Don’t make me take that jacket back, Simmons,” Grif said.

“Is that a threat?” Simmons said with a chuckle. Church looked between the two of them. He was having trouble telling if they hated each other’s guts or there was just a lot of, uh… tension. Romantic tension? Sexual tension? Friendly tension? Just plain regular tension? It beat Church.

They arrived at Grif’s house a couple minutes later. He opened the door, sliding into the house. It wasn’t even locked. Church was pretty sure that when he was alive, he must have been born in a city, because he hated unlocked doors. Something about them just set him off. He wasn’t sure what. Simmons shut the door behind him and Grif, and Church took a bit of his energy to lock it. Something about unlocked doors, man.

“Sister! Mom! You guys home?” Grif called. No one responded. “Whelp. Guess it’s just you and me, Simmons.” Grif waltzed into the kitchen, checking twice for good measure. Nope. No one else was here. A line of six pumpkins sat on the counter next to the stove, and some newspaper was spread out across the floor.

It kind of reminded Church of when he was a kid. It wasn’t a clear memory- those rarely occur- but it sort of seemed like something he’d done. The spreading out the newspaper, cutting off the lid, collecting the pumpkin seeds to put in the oven… It was familiar to Church.

Something about that made him wonder what year he’d died. He had no idea.

“Cool. Let’s grab some knives, it looks like we’ve got some pumpkins to carve,” Simmons said. Grif grinned.

“Hell yeah we do,” Grif said. He pulled down two of the six pumpkins off the counter. “Bigger one or smaller one?”

“Eh, whichever one you don’t want,” Simmons said.

“Dude. It’s a pumpkin. Just pick one,” Grif said, sitting down on the newspaper. Simmons plucked two knives from the butcher’s block, sitting down next to Grif.

“Fine. I’ll take the smaller one,” Simmons said.

“Hey, I’ve always said size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it,” Grif joked. Simmons gave a forced smile.

“Heh, yep,” he said quickly. His cheeks were going red.

“Oh, relax. Grab the pumpkin, nerd,” Grif said.

“You’re a fucking pumpkin,” Simmons muttered under his breath.

“I heard that,” Grif said, nodding his head. “And Simmons, you know I can’t let that pass.”

“Grif, Grif, don’t- Grif-” Simmons said, but it was too late. Grif tucked his fingers into Simmons’ side, tickling him relentlessly. “Grif, Grif!” Simmons chuckled.

“I’ve got you now!” Grif called, laughing himself. Simmons had fallen over, sprawled out across the newspaper, giggles leaving his mouth.

Church stared down at the whole thing with one eyebrow cocked. What the hell.

Grif pulled away, panting with laughter. “Are you really out of breath from tickling me? Wow. You really are a fatass,” Simmons said.

“Kissass,” Grif panted out, falling next to him on the papers.

Simmons met Grif’s eyes. They just sat there for a second, making weird eye contact for longer than Church knew to be normal. Or at least, thought to be normal. Was everyone more comfortable with each other in the future? It beat Church.

Grif’s eyes flicked down for a second. Just a second. But Church knew what that meant. Simmons tilted his head, his eyes closing.

That’s when they heard someone pulling the door.

“Hey, dirtbags! Who’s bright idea was it to lock the door?” A harsh, almost southern accent filled the front of the house.

Grif groaned, rolling away from Simmons. Simmons jolted up, rushing to get to the door.

“Sorry sir,” Simmons called, “It was probably Grif.”

“That no good, lazy, son of a gun…” the southern man said, his words trailing into muttering.

Within the few seconds of the man coming to the door, both Grif and Simmons’ demeanors changed entirely. The two of them went from being relaxed and content and- maybe about to kiss?- to Grif starfished out on the floor grumpily while Simmons was wearing the biggest grin in existence. Church didn’t know what was going on, but he wasn’t sure he liked it.

Simmons unlocked the door, grinning up at the man who stood behind it. He had greying hair with a military buzz cut, and a bit of stubble surrounding a firm scowl. “Took you long enough,” he said.

“Sorry, sir. Grif and I were about to start carving pumpkins,” Simmons said. “Would you care to join us?”

“Join you? Grif, how dare you start pumpkin carving without your dear brother!” the man called. He pushed past Simmons into the house. Simmons, instead of protesting, just sat up straighter. He struck Church as the type to always be eager to please. The man made his way to Grif, looking down at him sprawled out on the newspaper. “At least wait for Donut.”

“Listen here, dickhead,” Grif said, sitting up from his position on the floor. “Just because you got with my mom doesn’t make you my dad. And it sure as hell doesn’t make that stupid son of yours my brother!”

Oh. Now Church could see what was going on. This man was Grif’s stepdad. That Donut guy was his step-brother. Got it.

“Oh, hey boys!” Someone else was standing in the doorway, looking between Simmons and Grif with a grin. Just by his looks Church could tell this guy was named Donut. He just… looked like a Donut. Short blonde hair, a pink tank top tucked into denim short shorts- if that didn’t scream Donut, Church didn’t know what did.

“You know what? Fuck this. I’m going to Simmons’ place. At least his parents seem to ignore me,” Grif said.

“My parents hate you, Grif,” Simmons said.

“As they should! All you do is eat and sleep! Why can’t you be more like Simmons here, listening when people tell him things-”

“Really? Thank you, sir!” Simmons said.

“-and then misreading them entirely, messing it all up! At least that’s humorous!” the step-dad said with a hearty chuckle. Simmons took a second, his face falling.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” Grif said. He stood at his full height, narrowing his eyes at the man. “Come on, Simmons. We’re leaving.”

“Yeah. See you later, Sarge. Bye, Donut,” Simmons said, following Grif outta the house with a shrug. Church sighed. He really wanted the smell of pumpkins.

With that, Church felt a tugging feeling in his gut, like his stomach was being dragged up his throat by a vacuum cleaner. He knew what that meant. Another seance! Great. Just what he fucking wanted.

III.

“Dear father, son, and holy ghost- we come with peace in our hearts and curiosity as our intention. We wish no harm and only to learn of the other world. Vile spirits be warned. Amen,” started the first guy.

“Amen,” the group chorused. That group being distinguishably recognizable. Dammit. Church was ready to kill a man.

This was probably the last place he’d wanted to be. But, as cruel as fate is- he was back in Tucker’s bedroom.

This time, though, an Indian looking teen in a purple hoodie was leading the seance, blocky black glasses over his closed eyes. He’d gone and lit some candles, too. They weren’t pumpkin candles, but hey. It was close enough. At least someone had some respect for the undead.

“Peaceful spirit, we ask you to please state your name,” hoodie said, pressing his fingers lightly against the pointer. His eyes flickered open. The group- consisting of Tucker, Caboose, and some blonde guy in gray and yellow- followed suit.

Church sighed. He was so sick of this.

“C-H-U-R-C-H. Oh, hey there, Church, buddy!” Tucker called. “I was hoping you’d be back.”

“I wasn’t,” Church grumbled, but it fell upon deaf ears.

“Church! We wanted to tell you not to haunt Grif and Simmods!” Caboose said. His eyes were squeezed tight, as if he was trying to mimic the guy in the hoodie. He wasn’t doing it very well.

“His name is Simmons, you fucknut,” Tucker said. “Anyway. You can stop haunting them or whatever, but first you should definitely tell us any dirt you caught on them. Any secrets? Any mystery women? I mean, come on. Grif strikes me as the type to hold an illegal sex ring.”

Church had never realized the capacity of stupidity. These people freakin’ embodied it.

“Grif wouldn’t. I wouldn’t put it passed you, Tucker, but then again, I wouldn’t put much of anything passed you,” the blonde guy said. His whole face said ‘exasperated.’

“Why are you even here, Wash?” hoodie said. “You are obviously a skeptic of the supernatural arts. I can read it all over your face.”

Blondie-- Wash-- rolled his eyes. “I was told there would be cats. As of yet, I have seen no cats,” he deadpanned.

“Cats? Did you see Apples? I want to see Apples!” Caboose shouted, his eyes slamming open.

“Seriously. Shut up,” Tucker said. “Back on topic, Church! What did you dig up on our friends?”

Church moved the pointer with a sigh. These people were ridiculous.

“T-H-E okay the, wait not the, T-H-E-Y-’-RE. They’re. They’re what?” Tucker translated. “G-A- game? Y. They’re- oh.” Tucker paused. “They’re… They’re gay.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Wash said. “Have you seen the two of them?”

“I knew it! I always thought Simmons was a secretly a gay robot,” Caboose insisted. Church raised an eyebrow. For as strange as that sentence was, he swore he’d heard it before, somewhere.

“Ppsh. No you didn’t. That’s what you used to say about… uh, Leo,” Tucker said. At those words, everyone got real quiet. Wash’s head hung down. Hoodie bit his lip. There was something going on, and Church couldn’t tell what.

“Tucker,” Caboose said. His voice was lower than usual, almost at a whisper. “I miss him.”

“Me too, buddy,” Tucker said. He moved his hands from the pointer, swinging an arm around Caboose’s shoulders. “Me too.” Caboose’s eyes stayed locked on the board. He wasn’t moving.

“Caboose. It wasn’t your fault,” hoodie said.

“Thanks, Doc,” Caboose whispered. “But you do not have to play pretend. I did bad.” It almost looked like he was going to cry.

“He was your best friend. There’s no way you would have done that on purpose.” Wash said.

Church took a second, looking at the people across the room.

That’s when it hit him.

Church had that feeling again. The stomach sucked through a vacuum cleaner kind of feeling. Except this time, he wasn’t travelling in space. His mind was going back in time.

A flashback. A flashback of when he was alive.

He knew where he was, somehow. He was outside Michael’s house. He stood with his hands in his pockets, a beige newsboy cap over his messy black hair. He could kind of see his breath, if he tried really hard. He had to squint to really see it.

He must’ve been like, eleven at the time.

It was such a vivid picture. For the minutes it took, Church felt like he was actually there. The details of Tucker’s bedroom faded out as the muted yellows of Michael’s house faded over his vision.

He rapped his knuckles on the screen door, waiting a couple of seconds. Church rocked back and forth on his heels. It was mighty cold outside, especially for the time of year. Leaves were a muted brown and red, occasionally bright yellows sticking through. It was October. His birthday was coming up. He was gonna be a big twelve year old soon, and he couldn’t wait. One more year until he could actually get into PG-13 movies in the theatres! He wished his mom was still around. Maybe she could have taken him. God knows his dad wouldn’t.

“Michael! Hey, Michael! Michael J. Caboose, open the damn door!” He called to the upstairs window. Of course he didn’t think to try the handle. It was always locked. That’s how the Caboose family was- always locking things.

This was the one time they didn’t.

Church rocked on his heels again, whistling some melody off key. Two flights of stairs up, a certain Michael leaned over the window, looking down at Church with a grin on his face. Boy, was Leo gonna love him! He had the funniest idea for a prank. All he had to do was startle him, drop the thing twenty feet to his left, and laugh about it later. Nothing could go wrong. It was the perfect plan.

Church didn’t hear the window upstairs slide open. He certainly didn’t see the bright orange of a pumpkin being pushed out of said window, a smiling Caboose looking down over him. And he definitely wasn’t awake long enough to feel the brute force of the impact, the pumpkin smacking into his head and his head smacking the cement. It all happened too fast.

Caboose’s smile slipped slightly.

“Hey guys, we’re back. We- oh, come on. You’re still playing with that ghost bullshit?” Simmons’ voice interrupted. Church’s flashback came to an abrupt end. Grif and Simmons stood at the door, Grif peering over Simmons’s shoulder. His eyes were trained on Church, almost as if he could see him. But he couldn’t. No one could.

Church took a step back, suddenly heartbreakingly aware of the people in the room.

Tucker. Lavernius Tucker. He’d lived on Second Street, right down the block from Church’s house. They’d learned to ride bikes together.

And Doc. Frank DuFresne. That idiot thought he could heal anything, though he’d barely even earned his nickname. Hell, Church was the one that gave it to him. Once put a band-aid on Church’s mouth to get him to shut up.

Simmons. Richard. And Dexter Grif! They were the two kids on the playground who would always fight over who got the basketballs at recess… Dexter would only fight Dick about it to piss him off, and Dick would throw a hissy fit. God. It seemed like forever ago.

Wash didn’t ring that many bells, but even Donut was starting to seem familiar. He knew them. He’d known them.

And Caboose.

He’d killed him.

“And like, dude,” Tucker continued talking to Caboose, as if Simmons and Grif still weren’t there. “We’re not stupid. We know why you turned to ecstasy in the first place. But like, man. It’s really fucked you over,” he said. “It’s been five years. You need some closure or some shit.”

Caboose still hadn’t moved his eyes from the Ouija board. Church took a second, looking at this broken man. He was labelled as a murderer at twelve years old. And, as Church slowly realized, he’d turned to drugs to forget about that. To forget about the one time he fucked up and ended his best friend’s life.

But he couldn’t.

Church didn’t have much energy left, but damn if he wasn’t going to try his best. No hands were left on the pointer. In the moment, that didn’t matter.

“Wh- guys, it’s moving. What?” Simmons said. He took a step further into the room, Grif on his tail.

“What’s it say, what’s it say?” Tucker said.

“Will you be quiet? The spirit is trying to contact us, how could it possibly think over all this chatter? What you guys need is some Chamomile tea, that’d calm you down,” Doc said.

“Doc, shut up, I’m trying to read it,” Grif said, squeezing into the circle. All six of them crowded around the board, watching quietly as Church moved the pointer slowly, carefully. All of his energy was going into this. It was all he had.

“Caboose. It’s me. It’s Leo,” Church muttered, using the pointer to spell his words as he spoke them. “Leonard Church. I’m here.”

“Holy shit. Holy fuck he’s here,” Tucker said. “Holy shit.”

“Maybe this is the reason I stuck around, my unfinished business. It’s been years, dude. I’ve always been here,” Church said. Caboose’s eyes were going glassy. He still hadn’t moved from his position, and hadn’t uttered a word. “I just wanted to say I forgive you. I do. It wasn’t your fault. I mean, yeah, it kind of was, but you didn’t mean it to be.” At this point in his speech, Doc had begun writing his words down letter for letter. Church noticed this, and used it as an excuse to move the pointer a little faster. “You aren’t defined by mistakes, Caboose. Michael. You’re defined by your decisions.”

Caboose pulled his knees up to his chest, blinking his eyes hard and fast. This was getting too much for him.

“And I mean, yeah. You’re a fucking dumbass. And so am I, I guess. But I’m starting to think it’s time to let go.” He paused the pointer here, looking around the room. Six faces stared at his hands intently. Five people he’d known his whole life, but hadn’t known until just a few minutes ago. Candles were lit around him, and faintly in the October air, he could smell a trace of pumpkins. It was time to go. “I’ll say hi to your cat, buddy, if I see her,” Church said. “Good luck.” With that, Church used the last shred of his energy. He moved the pointer hesitantly to the ‘Goodbye.’

Six faces looked up, searching each other to better understand. Their friend was gone, but up until now, he wasn’t really. No one said a word.

Huh. Church had always wondered what would happen when he ran out of energy.

He guessed he’d find out.