#...Wow this was long. Gold star if you read through all of my ramblings!

[lixenn]

I really wanna read your fic and start engaging in the fandom more especially with oc stuff but I am so so scared bc of past experiences and fear possibly offending someone... Plus reading is actively hard for me due to untreated ADHD... Do you maybe have a tip of how i could start small? I see people i follow mention you quite often.

Wow, it’s so sweet that you came to me for advice anon! 🥺🥺 I feel super honored and very flattered that you want to read my story. I’m going to try my best to help you out 💪🏼(also great job on reaching out, have a gold star ⭐)

This might be a bit long I hope that’s okay (I ramble a lot, I apologize in advance). I will also structure this in parts so it’s not as overwhelming.

---

Engagement in fandom

I feel you Anon, interacting with people is hard. I’ve lurked on tumblr for years before I recently crawled out of my gremlin cave and started to actually talk to fandom folk. But worry not, Lix is here to help! I like gamifying difficult aspects of life (looking at you chores), so I have come up with this analogy:

Approach interaction like you are in a game with different levels. Here are some levels I made up (of course you can always adjust however you want)

Level 0 just scrolling through posts, no interaction at all

Level 1 Liking posts

Level 2 Reblogging posts without tags or text

Level 3 Reblogging posts with general tags

Level 4 Reblogging posts with personal tags

Level 5 Reblogging posts with your own text plus tags or Replying to posts

Level 6 Participation in ask games as anon

Level 7 Participation in ask games with anon off

How does it work?

You establish your baseline: for example you are usually at Level 1

You set a goal you want to achieve: for example you want to participate in ask games with anon off

You then start the game by taking a babystep into the next level: in this example you start reblogging posts with no tags or text (so level 3)

You spend some time on the next level until you are comfortable with doing this sort of interaction

Then you go to the next level

Repeat this until you have reached your level goal

Again this is just an example of how you can approach fandom interaction. I just wanted to show you that taking babysteps for interaction is totally okay!

There’s no need to immediately jump into a full on fandom discussion about your favourite character. Break the huge goal into small parts to make it less overwhelming (I’m sure I’m not the first person telling you this 😅). Also it’s totally fine if there are set backs, some days replying to posts might feel like the biggest chore on this planet and there’s no need to force yourself into doing it! Keep your own pace, this is not a sprint, but a marathon Anon! And I’m here to cheer you on!

How to interact

So, you have reached the level of interaction where you actively engage with other people. Congrats! ✨🎉You are doing great. But now you are stomped on how to interact, which again here are a couple options:

Ask questions. Honestly, that was how I started interacting and it’s still my go-to these days. Asking questions shows that you are invested, that you are curious and writers, artist and bloggers appreciate these kind of interactions a lot. I like questions about my ocs because they often help with character building and sometimes it even inspires a scene for me to write. It’s great! You can also just start small here, it doesn’t need to be deep. You can ask about an ocs favourite colour or just how the writing is going or if the other person likes cats. For real, even small mundane questions make my day, go wild!

Compliments. You see a fanart and think it’s beautiful? Put that in the tags! You like the vibe of this one oc? You can write that in a reblog. Again, start small and it doesn’t need to be poetry, a simple “I like this!” is fine and dandy!

As for the offending bit…

I can also understand the fear of offending, especially if you had bad experiences. For me it’s mostly anxiety that fucks me over.

But I think unless you dabble into super controversial topics you shouldn’t be too scared. Just present everything respectfully or as a headcanon, then you should be good to go (people can disagree with your headcanons but that doesn’t make it offensive, it’s just a difference in opinion).

Furthermore if you are scared of doing something the other person won't like you can always reach out in DMs to clarify if they are comfortable if you ask something with xy topic.

Also keep in mind that people might not instantly reply back. Maybe they don’t have the spoons, maybe irl is being a bitch, maybe they are on vacation with spotty internet, maybe their laptop exploded or maybe they simply have a goldfishbrain like me and forgot. The possibilities are endless but that doesn’t mean they hate you. I know the nasty little voice in the back of our heads often try to convince ourselves of that but it’s not true, people are sometimes just busy.

Reading

Now, I don’t have ADHD so I’m not sure if I can give good advice here, but I will try my best!

You could start with short works if you struggle with longer stories. Oneshots are great! So are works with short chapters. Shameless self promo here: My fanfic the Varia Housekeeping survival guide (short the Guide) has super short chapters (most are one DIN A4 page).

Of course you can always split up chapter into chunks. There’s no need to read 5K works in one sitting. Take your time. If the format bothers you, maybe you prefer reading in a certain font, then you can also just copy the text in a document and change it to something you can easily read (as long as you just use that copy for your own private purposes, it should be fine.)

Some popular fanfics also have podfics if the actual reading bit is hard on you, that limits your options a bit but it’s a way to start.

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Well, this got long as hell. I hope any of these ramblings are useful to you and that I didn’t totally overwhelm you with text.

Stay strong Anon! You can do the people thing! I believe in you!

[bonesandthebees]

Spruce not reading honey and tangerines made me remember i got like halfway through before losing all my ao3 tabs and never finishing it 😭 i’ll have to go back and find where i was soon

Also one of my only thoughts after burning gold was literally just “wow tallulah covering her eyes for moat of the fic? She really is just like her father”

Also also WF WF WF MY BELOVED clinic and stars will always have a special place in my heart but sbi’s fight after wilbur said he knew why tommy left at the syndicate meeting will always have a special place in my heart, i re-read it sometimes just for fun

Every once in a while i’ll also remember i was here when the last few chapters of clinic weren’t out yet and then i’ll feel old

I vividly remember checking if clinic had updated, it had, and it was the chapter where puffy came and visited tommy and brought him cinnamon rolls and revealed she was a former-hero

And then i remember being here for all of wf, and reading stars when it only had one chapter and then forgetting about it until it was finished 😭

I can picture so clearly in my head checking wf one day at dinner, i had only read the first chapter a while back and hadn’t kept up, there was now five chapters and i was so excited. I was eating tacos. I kept up with wf updates after that

Sorry for the ramble, everyone’s recent asks have reminded me of a lot of things lmao, still debating if i should re-read stars and i’m so very close to giving in

- 🪐

NOOOO I ACCIDENTALLY INCLUDED THE COVERING EYES BIT AGAIN THIS TIME WITH TALLULAH I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE why do I keep doing this

the fact that you reread that painful fight in wf for fun certainly says something /j (it was such a fun scene to write I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much)

damn you've been around for that long?? you're really an og saturn anon. I remember when I wrote that clinic chapter with puffy and tommy talking after he'd been kidnapped and that conversation ended up being so much longer than I meant it to be. I was so frustrated bc it meant I had to put off the crimeboys reconciliation convo by another chapter and I wanted to write that one so bad, but the puffy tommy convo was so good and flowed so well so I couldn't be too upset

looking back on when wf was updating feels a bit like a fever dream for me bc 1) I wrote most of it during the winter quarter of my senior year of college. we'd gone back to in person for fall quarter after a full year of online bc covid, but then winter had a surge of covid cases again so almost all my classes went BACK online but I had one optional in person class once a week. so I had a lot of free time to write and would spend entire days in a campus coffee shop writing wf 2) sirentwt happened while I was writing wf. that was certainly a Time

anyway i love that you remember you were eating tacos when you noticed wf had 5 chapters up now. I remember I kept trying new drinks at the coffee shop every day when I went there to write but none of it was very good but it was a student run place that had really nice vibes so I became a regular anyway

[saltiestcoconut]

Thank you for tagging me @offlineblues !

Let's keep up the tradition and shove it under a read more lmao

I ain't gonna tag— fuck it @4lmog @shifuto get your asses in here you too @mewhoismyself

Last song:

Last movie/show:

(let's pretend that prev's last song didn't instantly make me crave listening to) MORNING LIGHT HYMNUS oh my god is this song such a banger and an absolutely gorgeous love song (it's perfectly named too since the song is dedicated to a character whose name means morning star) ugh this song is so raw it's hard to believe that it's one of belials theme songs of all things (granted it's avatar belials theme but it's still belial) with lyrics as raw as its too hard to describe the million lonely nights without you | someday we shall meet once more (how much longer must I wait?) | a sea of love, tides of hate lie before us / drown in my soul, give yourself all to me, and wander no more | I need you back besides me, hollow fool that I am | grant me just one wish I beg, please take your servant's hand... Oh my god just kill me now this is peak romance it speaks to my very soul imagine someone feeling that intensely for you . . . (Yes I wanted an excuse to talk about this song I just love it so much)

Favorite Color:

I have a few favorite colors like blue purple black white gold is a pretty color too there's a lot of pretty colors out there too it's on a case by case basis surely

I watched that demon slayer movie with my sister last month! Yay I actually watched something semi recently lmao (it was really fun she got us tickets to the 4D version (it wasn't in 3d unfortunately) where the chairs moved so I affectionately called it the rollar coaster simulator lmao) I should really watch the what fourth season? Sis and I were confused cause it literally opened in the middle of an arc so naturally we were missing some information lmao (can y'all believe my sis watched the newest season without me (again) unbelievable) other than that I think the last show I watched was go rush? My laptop is acting up so I can't watch shows even if I wanted to . . . (my charger broke too so I can't use it while charging even if I wanted to)

Sweet / spicy / savory

Def a big fan of spicy but I like savory and sweet things too I probably have a higher sweet tolerance than some people maybe idk my sweet dislikes is pretty long . . .

Relationship status:

It's complicated (the only thing complicated about it is my feelings about romance in general lmao)

Last Search:

Morning light hymnus pokemon legends arceus on eBay I wanted to check to see if the steel book is affordable (it is)

Current obsession:

Granblue Fantasy 100% it's consumed my life why must a gacha game beat out my card game (gacha) obsession it's kinda funny— within gbf itself the archangels and dragon knights definitely I love vane he's the best malewife (I can make a malewife out of lucifer or sandalphon five bucks) (belial is already a malewife don't gotta do anything to him it's in his being)

Wow I rambled a lot if you read through it all thank you for listening to my insane ramblings!

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER ASK GAME

tagged by @pocketsonny ♡ thank you!

i ramble on too much, so i'll make it a read more! here goes~

TAGGING in advance (if you want)

@armos @fleury @saltiestcoconut @gntk

Last Song

i've been listening to MMBN's OST for around 2 weeks straight. i would really like to play this game soon, since i bought the collection on sale for 50% off~ (looks at @pocketsonny who keeps nudging me to play as well by talking excitedly about it)

Net Battle and Fire Field are so good...

Favorite Color

i really like gray the most, i think. i really like rose pink, lavender and lilac purple, flowery yellow, and soft blue and mild green a lot as well! something like this?

i also love the colors of the sunrise, the sunset, and the galaxy

Last Movie / Show

the last movie i saw became my favorite movie! i watched it with @xx-moonluster-xx and @duelofai !

i had a lot of fun. Nausicaä's messages of decay and rebirth were so wonderful. also i love the gentle giant bugs and the extraordinary fantasy world they created (it was so beautiful and the OST is so good too)

otherwise, i've been rewatching FMAB in a group with 3 people after 12 years. it used to be my favorite series a long long time ago, so i'm really happy to watch it now that i'm older and understand the world from another perspective (and thus, understand and resonate with the grim reality this series often times presents)

Sweet / Spicy / Savory

Relationship Status

spicy, definitely! savory is always good! i'm not the biggest fan of sweet!

@armos and i celebrated our 10 years dating anniversary in January!!

Last Search

Current Obsession

definitely not the movie and show official art above—

this will be random, but, lots of people on twt have been posing and dressing up the new plush Yusaku, so i've been itching to see them in new and fun ways. isn't he adorable? i just want to squeeze him (shows you mine i bought for my partner)

additionally, i've been playing a lot of Blue Rescue Team again lately (i have almost 500 hours on record) because i'm trying to recruit them all! it's a bit of a task, though. there's tons of 1% encounters and they can take a long time to get lucky and join you. (pictured: me recruiting all 1% encounters at once in Howling Forest somehow)

[angelkurenai]

Imagine going hiking and Dean accidently hearing you sing to the mountains, and he's desperate to find an owner to such beautiful voice.

“If you ask me, it's rather obvious what we're dealing here with and it won't take much time. But it's always to be better safe than sorry, so I'm thinking we should head once more to-” Sam's rambling was cut short as he looked up from his small notebook only to realize his brother wasn't paying the slightest attention to him “Dean?” he asked without really expecting, or getting, a reaction.

And as if that wasn't enough, he didn't seem to be willing to hide it in the least bit, his eyes trained on his food with a deep frown set on his face as he played around with it. It was that exact fact, and the one that most of his plate was still full which was very concerning if Sam took into consideration that this was his brother that wasn't eating, besides the lack of concentration or talking from his part that prevented Sam from teasing him or even trying to act angry at his brother's clear lack of interest in the case, or anything else if he really thought about it.

“Dean?” he tried to insist once more without much result.

“Dean!” this time it got his brother to blink his eyes several times and get back to reality and Sam didn't know whether it was the tone in his voice or the fact that he had to snap his finger's in front of Dean's face. So long as it got the job done.

“Wh- huh what?” Dean frowned at his brother, voice more gruff than it should be and Sam assumed that the lack of sleep was showing on both his face and voice now.

“I-” he parted his lips but stopped himself from saying anything for a couple seconds “Are you ok, Dean? You've been a little off almost ever since last night. You got... lost in the woods and after I found you, you've been acting... weird.”

“Look-” Dean sighed a little agitated “If you wanna test me, I'm right here, do your thing. But as I told you last night and this morning, at least three times, I have not been abducted or possessed or enchanted or anything. Not in a supernatural way at least.” again another sigh as he looked away “Don't give me that look, ok? It's annoying. Besides, I told you, I got a little distracted yesterday but that's al-”

“Distracted?” Sam raised an eyebrow “You got distracted in the freaking mountains? By what? The shape of the rocks?”

“I mean-” he paused, shrugging almost childishly and definitely unconvincingly in a way he did more often than not when there was something that he was hiding Sam, something not life threatening or dangerous, and that made Sam relax a bit more “Rocks are pretty interesting dude.” and that, they both knew, was his lamest excuse that Sam found himself relaxing a lot more to the point he chuckled.

“Wow that's-” Sam blinked several times “That's too much, even for you. No, seriously, are you going to tell me what it was? Because I know real well I was the only one looking for our monster on that mountain but you had not been busy admiring rocks.”

“What are you gonna start judging my hobbies now? It's so bad, all of a sudden, that I find new interests but you can have any nerdy hobby you want in this family?” Dean fended himself weakly, apparently, because of the loo Sam gave him. That made Dean sigh and roll his eyes. “Look, it was nothing dude. It's hard to explain, yes, but I'm completely fine and I am completely me. Just drop it, alright? Get back on the case and rambling, I'll try to keep up and get back on track soon.” hard to explain didn't even begin to cover it in his mind, mostly because it wasn't all easy to explain with logic and therefore his mind wasn't the only player in this game; it was his heart too.

How could he even begin to explain to Sam that he had gotten so distracted by someone singing? How could he even begin to describe that he had really been that enchanted, that mystified, but it was really not in a supernatural way? He couldn't say that he had gotten carried away listening to the woman, it was clearly a female voice, sing so beautifully he had almost forgotten his name, not to mention the reason why he was in the mountains to begin with. He couldn't say that he had even dreamed of said voice, singing to him the same song he had heard yesterday in the mountains and could clearly remember the lyrics to even now. Maybe also because he had looked for it up, though he would never admit to it, just like he wouldn't admit that he hadn't fund any of the singers (covers or not) to be able to match up to the voice he heard.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the nightsky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough

It was his favorite part and he couldn't even believe he had a favorite part.

He couldn't admit that he had been trying to put a face to that voice so bad, he couldn't admit that he had been wondering and needing and aching to hear more of the singing, more of the voice, in the same and different songs. He couldn't admit that he had felt all the things he did just by hearing a song, he couldn't admit that the emotion put in the lyrics by the singer had also affected him this much. He couldn't admit that the reason he had been late and that had made Sam look for him, thinking he had been lost or worse, was because Dean had spent all that time looking for the person behind the voice. He could feel the heat of the blush down to his neck at the thought that it looked like something out of the cheesiest fairytale but it had been true, more true than he too could believe, and so were his feelings so he could defend them if need be. But he wasn't looking for an excuse for that.

Besides, he felt moody enough – and disappointed – this morning that he didn't feel up to explaining everything to his brother.

“Right now, I'm just sleepy that's all.” he mumbled, slightly as an afterthought but mostly to try to keep himself focused “Seems I-” he paused briefly, looking around the cafe and pursing his lips in a way that showed his displeasure “Haven't had my coffee yet. Or enough of it.”

Big mistake, because the moment his stopped their path around the small cafe and landed back on his brother, he saw the realization dawn on him. His eyebrows raise slightly and if it wasn't for the knowing quirk of his lips and the relaxed expression on both his body and face he might have thought for just a second that he was off the hook. Clearly, he wasn't.

“So that's what it is huh?” Sam asked before shaking his head with a laugh. He didn't know, of course, but that was no better yet. Because he didn't know the one reason out of the two to his lack of focus. “You like her that much huh?”

“What?” he said it through a mouthful that he took a little too fast to avoid looking at his brother but oh well. His brother figured one of the two reasons in 0.5 seconds so any effort would be in vain.

As long as he didn't know how saddened he was by

“You know what.” the smile on Sam's lips only got bigger “That waitress we met two days ago, the one that works here and the reason why you're here for everyday ever since. And don't try to deny it, you're terrible at it today.” he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him despite Dean's best (read: worst) effort to avoid eye-contact and give anything away by eating as much as he could.

“I really don't get what you're trying to say, Sam. I mean-” he laughed, nervously, as he tried to swallow over his food because of the look his brother gave him “I haven't even managed to look up from my plate. How could I have noticed (Y/n)'s not here this morning even though her shift has supposedly started half an hour ago? I haven't-” but Dean paused when he noticed the surprise on Sam's face and realized his mistake.

“Honestly?” Sam tried to keep himself from laughing but as expected failed “It's really best if you eat instead of speak. Wow.” he blinked, shaking his head “Well, at least that explains it.”

Dean's lips parted as he prepared to speak back and defend at least what was left of his dignity but then all words died out in his lips when he heard the small laugh next to him that he knew all-too-well and that he would have been too embarrassed to hear in such a situation so close, especially after what had been said, but he was too relieved to care about that. Besides, he was going to make Sam pay for it by, oh let's say, ask him to stay a day or two or ten after the case was over as a favor for all this.

“Honestly if I had known I'd be this sought after I might have asked for a raise sooner.” he heard your voice and noticed you filling up his cup before he looked up to see you there and felt his smile become ten times bigger when he saw you looking at him with a soft smile of yours “Hey Dean.” he took great pleasure in the few seconds of you just focusing on him until Sam cleared his throat and you snapped out of it and smiled, albeit a little apologetically, at Sam “Hello Sam.”

“Good morning, (Y/n). Seems like you've been running a bit late today according to my brother here, everything alright?”

“Oh absolutely fine, it's just that some mornings I tend to help in the kitchen when the cook's running late you see.” you explained “I hope everything is to your liking so far?” you asked but your eyes once more trailed to Dean and with a smile on his face Sam nodded his head with a hum.

“Just great, though I think the company is not to someone's preference today. I might have to leave early, visit the library and all, you think you can keep Dean some company?” he asked so innocently, yet not to Dean who knew him, which only made the older Winchester's head snap in his direction faster than ever before; eyes wide in horror.

“Oh I'm sure I could spend my break with him, no problem, though it might be quick. We have the weekly karaoke night tonight so I might have some extra work to do. If that's alright?” you asked hopefully.

“Karaoke night? Didn't know you had that.” Dean blinked and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, the cafe obviously works at night and we make sure to organize karaokes and parties at least three times a week. This month boss is more busy so we're down to once a week but that doesn't stop me or any of the customers from taking over the stage till the early morning. You could-” you paused to glance at a couple who asked to pay at a table nearby and gave them a nod “You could always come by then too? If you're free.” you suggested softly and Dean didn't even hesitate to give a nod which made you beam at him.

“Lovely.” you said “If you'll excuse me for a second, I got work to do but I'll be right back. And if you need anything else just ask.”

“Well that went better than you could have expected or achieved on your own to be honest. So-” Sam paused to give his brother a smile “Your welcome.”

“Better? Oh really? Why didn't you tell her 'Hey (Y/n) my brother's an idiot and too much of a coward to ask you out, why don't you do it yourself?' huh? That would have been less desperate.” Dean only glared.

“Alright, I'll try that next time.” Sam simply shrugged, focusing back on his noted before Dean had the chance to say anything else. The older Winchester only rolled his eyes and with a shake of his head and feeling much more light went to actually eating an enjoying his food.

Without the distraction of his thoughts and worries about your absence he could admit it was much easier. Certainly, there was always the mystery girl in his mind and her signing that he couldn't get over much as he tried but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it anymore. Miracles didn't happen and it was already very close to that that you had agreed to spend your break with him like in a date, alright he hoped it was like that and that was maybe an even greater miracle than finding the owner of the voice. He couldn't just walk around the town looking for her nor could sit here and expect her to start singing out of nowh-

His thoughts – and he was pretty sure, breathing and entire fuctioning-like-a-human-being – came to a startling halt when he heard it. First a very low murmur but then sure some words, a tune, lyrics to a song with a voice and tone he recognized all too well... he realized like a fool from two places. The mountain and this very cafe.

Slowly but also with a sort of giddiness he couldn't explain, he turned in his seat to look behind him in the direction from which the singing was coming from and he wasn't surprised, only because he really felt in shock anymore, to realize that it was coming from your direction and even more specifically from you. You were singing and you were singing that very same song in the very same way as you were cleaning the table after the couple had left.

“Never enough”

Well, maybe miracles did happen.

[revasserium]

beauty as a perspective (or a study of truth through the lens of a boy who has always believed in fairy-tales)

anon: And it is beautiful with Hinata First love with kageyama? Please :) 

101. and it is beautiful hinata ; 1.8k words

there are so many things he considers to be beautiful -- the sunrise, the sunsets, the way the moon lingers on the horizon after a whole midsummer’s night, like it’s waiting for the first rays of sunlight to spill across the world, the way the stars are relentless in their twinkling, as if emboldened by the darkness that beholds their very beings -- that they are made all the brighter by night’s all-consuming dark. 

there are other things too -- a well-aimed spike, crystal cut and down the line, right next to the pole, a perfectly arched toss, slow enough for thought, but too fast for the opponents to follow, the double-rolling saves that noya-sempai had promised to teach him and still hasn’t gotten around to, the way a clean sneaker sounds against the well-waxed floor of a freshly cleaned gym, the sound of a volleyball meeting skin, the flutter of a net, the chorus of voices as it echoes towards the ceiling. 

the cheers of the crowds when a point gets scored. when a match is won. 

the weight of happiness, so light and yet so, so heavy too, enough to make his bones feel like they’re filled with gold or silver or maybe magic itself. he thinks there’s nothing more beautiful than playing... and winning. 

until he meets you. 

your name breezes through him like a summer wind through wheat, leaving no part of him unruffled and untouched, all this thoughts tangled and out of ordered, but so beautifully so. he watches you go like a child watching the end of a really good dream, powerless to stop it, but still with the naïve hope that perhaps, if he just kept his eyes open (or closed) for a moment longer, maybe, just maybe you’ll stay -- 

“hinata-kun, its your turn to help clean the classrooms.” 

he snaps out of his reverie (did you know that’s the word for daydream in french? how fitting, right? and when tsukki had asked, drop-jawed and all, where the hell hinata had learned such a thing, all he could do was shrug and blush and say he’d read it somewhere -- to tsukki’s compounded shock and confoundment), the teacher is watching him with a hiked eyebrow, and half the class was giggling. but you, you’re standing next to his desk with a sweet, expectant smile and he’s lost all over again. 

(who was he, anyway? before he knew what your smile looked like? what your voice sounds like? what the color of your hair was beneath the morning sun, or in the golden glow of dusk?) 

“let’s do our best, hm?” you offer him your hand. 

hinata had never wished for after class chores to last forever, but he has now. 

he doesn’t know how you get onto the topic of volleyball, but it always ends up there somehow... with him -- and he finds himself rambling like he always does when he’s nervous, blabbing out an invite because yeah! it’s pretty cool! and there’s a practice match today! and oh, yeah! i’m on the starting lineup and of course you can come watch! i’m super awesome y’know! -- 

and then the horrifying, daunting realization that he’s going to have to play. with you watching him. with your eyes, like pools of amber so deep and clear they remind him of melted caramel during the holiday school fairs, with your smile like tasting a favorite treat after a long, hard day’s practice, with your laughter and your voice like -- like -- 

“what’s this? hinata’s brought a friend?” there’s something in the texture of suga-sempai’s voice that hinata isn’t sure he likes but he’s too nervous to call it out at the moment. instead, he tries desperately to explain why the hell he’d brought you along, not that he’s really sure either, other than the fact that he doesn’t ever want you to leave his sight ever again in his whole life but, well, he can’t really say that out loud without sounding like a freak -- 

“uh -- it’s not -- i mean, yeah! we’re friends! i think so at least -- well anyway -- ahhhhh -- she likes volleyball and there’s a practice match today and i told her she could come and watch cause i’m really awesome at it and she just moved here from tokyo, or actually she stayed in france for a while before that! can you believe it? hey -- wait do you know kenma from nekoma? they’re from tokyo too, right --?” 

kageyama fixes him with a flatlined look even as you smile. 

“she’s not from the same school, idiot.” 

hinata puffs up as he turns to kageyama but thankfully, daichi is there to pull them apart before things get really nasty. he flashes you a sincere and somewhat apologetic grin. 

“ah, thanks for coming. you can find a seat up there, and uhm -- welcome to karasuno.” 

hinata finds himself watching you go (he nearly yells when you wave at him from the second level, that is until kageyama elbows him so hard in the side he actually does yell). 

“focus, boke!” 

“shut up, crappyama!” 

“ha? what did you say?” 

“both of you, quiet!” 

they both flinch at the sound of daichi’s voice. 

but hinata can’t help stealing another glance towards you, thinking that this feels different, somehow. different than all the other practice matches he’s played before. it’s like his vision is sharper, all his senses on high alert -- he can smell the sweat on his teammates’ skin, can see each spec of light as it refracts off of the newly waxed gym floors, can feel the weight of your eyes on him like a superhero’s cloak -- beautiful and full of responsibility. 

and he plays well that day, he thinks -- got a few really solid quick’s in, and he only messed up on two of his serves, which, all things considered, is probably a record low for him. kageyama only yelled at him five times, also on the low side. 

they manage to scrape a win, and it was mostly asahi-san’s doing -- noya-sempai being awesome as ever, too. still, he thinks it’s been a good day. he almost forgets that you’re watching for a while, but only for a while, and as the match draws to a close, he’s again keenly aware of your eyes on him. 

he turns to grin up at you, shooting you a thumbs up. he finds you no longer sitting, but standing by the railings, your eyes huge and happy as you wave down at him. there’s a flush to your face that makes him want to walk off a bridge right into a very, very cold river but he shelves that thought for later as you make your way down the stairs, jogging right up to him, your smile so brilliant he thinks he might go blind if he stared too long. 

he blinks, still dripping sweat down his now very wet uniform. 

“shouyou! you were amazing! i mean, you are amazing --!” 

he almost jolts at your use of his given name, but then he remembers you asking (because you liked the sound of it or something; he’d forgotten what you said after that cause he was too busy marinating in the fact that you liked the sound of his name) if you could call him that. and him saying yes. 

“for a while there it looked like you were flying, like really flying!” 

he nods along with your excitement, his smile growing so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt and god, what what happen if he just kept on smiling wider and wider? what would happen to his face? would it stretch and keep on stretching? or maybe he’ll accidentally split his face in half and have to get stitches from the hospital, which wouldn’t be fun but for you, he thinks, it’s worth it. 

“y-yeah! cool! right?” he leaps ups as if to illustrate, but as with all things he does on a spur of the moment impulse, it doesn’t go quite as planned. he ends up smacking his head on the doorframe of double gym doors, leaving him whining, curled up into a ball on the ground, and you kneeling by his side. 

“shouyou? are -- are you okay? oh my god, what happened?” 

he winces as he pushes himself up into a sitting position, grinning awkwardly up at you. 

“i wanted to show you!” 

“show me what?” 

“what it looks like to fly!” 

tanaka is fussing over hinata, loudly asking if he’ll get a concussion while tsukki is remarking to that getting a concussion might be good for him; noya and tanaka are both laughing so hard they’re also curled up on the ground. 

you giggle, “save some flying for next time.” 

“for... next time?” 

“yeah, for the next time you play.” 

“will... will you be there?” 

you smile, nodding, offering him a hand. 

“if you want me to be.” 

“yes! yeah -- oh man, i do! i really really --” 

“good, then i’ll be there.” 

“aahh, that’s amazing! super great! ahhhh i’m so --- mmmm -- i’m so happy!” 

he leaps up and is about to jump up again before he realizes you hadn’t let go of his hand yet. 

he blinks, heat washing up his face like jumping head-first into a steaming onsen. 

“hey! you said you’d save some for next time, right?” 

hinata laughs, “right -- for next time.” 

you give his hand a squeeze before letting go, turning to greet his teammates. hinata watches you, like he’s been doing from the second he’d set eyes on you a week and a half ago, when you’d introduced yourself to the class. 

like when he’d all too enthusiastically volunteered to show you around the school, like when the pair of you had stopped in the library, and you’d run your fingers along the spines of all the books like greeting old friends. 

like when you flipped open a book of fairy-tales and traced the outline of a boy with melting wax wings, plummeting from the sky. 

“you know, i used to always daydream about flying as a kid,” you said. 

hinata quirked his head, “why?” 

you smiled, “dunno, seemed like a fun thing to do.” 

hinata smiled then too, “well, it’s not that hard.” 

you looked at him, “you... know how to fly?” 

“sure i do!” 

you laughed, then, but not a mocking kind of laugh -- a delighted, dancing kind of laugh that made hinata’s whole chest fill with hot air and helium. 

“you promise to show me some day?” 

hinata had nodded so hard his head might’ve come right off it’s hinges. 

“hey, what’s ‘daydream’ in french?” he asked. 

you blink at him, “reverie.” 

“wow... beautiful.” 

you laughed again, nodding, “it is, isn’t it?” 

and he decides then, watching as you smile at something suga-sempai says, as you quirk your head curiously at kageyama, making him flush a hilarious shade of crimson as well, that sure, there are a lot of beautiful things in this world. 

but none of them quite so beautiful as you. 

[grapesodatozier]

I Knew You’d Haunt All of My What-Ifs

madwheeler pining!! max is drunk and calls mike to drive her home. title from cardigan by taylor swift (yes it came out 17 hours ago and i have already named a fic after it lmao)

rating: teen and up

tags: underage drinking, almost confessions, high school, modern au, pining

words: 2,247

read on ao3 or below!!

The room only spun a little as Max washed her hands. Mostly it was a pleasant, fluid, buzzing feeling. It was warm and she grinned to herself as she swayed a bit. Parties were fun, but there was something about being drunk in a stranger’s bathroom that made her giggle. It was just fun, and it was the point when she realized how truly far gone she was.

Once out, she quickly found her friends in the throng of people in the crowded house. They were friends she’d made in class and known for a few years, and they were getting a few parties in before they went their separate ways for college. Max really liked them, but she had her doubts about how well the relationships would hold up after college. The only people she was really sure she’d always be friends with were the other party members. Still, she liked these girls, they were nice and funny and went to parties that her closest friends were too shy to go to, so she wanted to make sure she got some time in with them now. 

“Max,” one of them, Katie, said, “I think we’re gonna head out now, do you have a way to get home?”

Shit. No, that had slipped Max’s mind. She knew if she asked that the other girls would walk her home, but they all lived on the complete other side of town, and she didn’t want to triple their walk. “Yeah, my friend’s picking me up,” she lied. “I’ll see you soon?” And then they were all hugging her goodbye and disappearing.

Max sighed and waited a bit before heading outside. She may have been better than the rest of the party at socializing, but she would never be a mingler, and most of the people at this party she hoped to never see again. So she walked to the curb and sat at the edge of the property, grateful for the fresh air that filled her lungs and cooled her heated cheeks. She pulled out her phone; it was nearly one in the morning. She knew that in the grand scheme of things, any of her friends would be happy to help her out—a party member requires assistance, yada yada, sweet nerd sentiments. Still, she felt bad calling so late. So she wasn’t quite sure why she was calling the person who would express that annoyance most freely, but the phone was already ringing.

“Max?” Mike’s confused voice came through on the second or third ring. He sounded so cute. As much as sober Max would never admit it, she really did love Mike’s voice. Even when he was whining he sounded kind of adorable, especially when it was over something small.

“Heyyy,” Max drawled, giggling a bit. Okay, so maybe she was a little drunker than she had thought. 

“Oh my god, are you drunk?” Mike asked, exasperated.

“Maybe a little.”

She could hear Mike sigh. “And you’re drunk calling me why?”

Max’s heart was racing now. She shouldn’t be asking this, but it was too late, and the thought of seeing Mike, of being alone with him this late at night had too strong a pull for her drunk self to resist. “I kind of need a ride home. If you’re up, that is, if you’re in bed it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” As her cheeks heated up, she began to ramble: “Honestly, actually, I should just walk, it’s not that far—”

“Where are you?” Mike cut her off. Max leaned over and found the green street sign, reading off the name. “Max, that’s like a forty minute walk from your house, you’re not doing that by yourself at night while drunk. I’ll be there in like five or ten minutes, okay? Just stay there.” 

“Okay,” Max said. She figured she wasn’t in any position to tell him not to tell her what to do, and she found that she didn’t want to. 

She lay back when she heard him hang up, staring up at the stars to pass time. It made her smile to remember what Mike had said, that he wasn’t willing to let her walk home by herself. She knew that he cared about her, but hearing him make it so explicitly clear had her blushing and grinning up at the stars like a middle schooler. 

The time became liquid as she thought about Mike while absently tearing at the grass beneath her. She began to worry that he would be mad at her. But when his car rolled to a stop beside her, he was climbing out of it immediately, calling her name as he rushed to her side. “Max? Max, oh my god, are you okay?”

Max giggled as she smiled up at him, still lying in the grass. “I’m super,” she grinned. The world spun as she sat up, and she had to lean into Mike to not fall over again. His t-shirt was thin and soft under her fingers, and she could feel how warm his skin was under the fabric. It made her head swim, the thought of touching his chest, running her fingers over his skin, feeling his heartbeat under her palm. Her eyes focused on his neck as she caught her bearings again, then looked up into his eyes. The deep brown seemed to glow gold under the streetlight.

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!” Though his voice was chiding, he was incredibly gentle with her as he helped her up. Max smiled when she noticed the blue plaid pajama pants he had on. God, he was cute. “Don’t fucking lie on your back when you’re drunk, you could choke on your own vomit! I thought you were dead or passed out or something!”

“Aw, were you worried about me?” Max sing songed as she walked around to the passenger side. She tried to make it teasing, but the vodka softened it, revealing how touched she was by it. Blushing, she hastily climbed into the passenger seat to escape the look Mike was giving her.

“Of course I was worried about you,” he said as he got into the car beside her. His voice was exasperated, but much softer than it had been. Max busied herself with putting on her seatbelt so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” she whispered as Mike started the car. “I’m sorry I made you come out.”

She shouldn’t have been, but she was surprised to hear Mike say, “Don’t be. I’m glad you called me.” 

“Yeah?”

“Of course! I don’t know what kind of friends you hang out with that would leave you at a party, but I’m glad you know I’m there for you even if they’re not.” 

“It was my fault,” Max explained, “I didn’t wanna make them walk me home and then walk all the way back, so I told them I had a ride.”

“They should’ve stayed with you. What if some creep had found you alone? What if you were drunker than they realized and went running off somewhere and got in trouble?”

Max was taken aback by the venom in Mike’s voice. Sure, she knew how protective he was—hell, it was pretty much his biggest defining trait—but he’d never directed it so fiercely at her. He chided her for taking turns too sharply, or being careless on her skateboard, but it was never with more than a shake of his head. But now she could see his fingers gripping the steering wheel just a little harder than he needed to. Now other people had been careless with Max, and apparently that made a world of difference for Mike. The realization made Max glow.

She looked at his face. He was watching the road. It was dark in the car, but she could make out his profile, illuminated by the street lamps and moonlight and the glows that came from the houses around them. His hair looked fluffier than usual, a little messy, and the fuzzy, liquid warmth that encompassed Max drove her to run her fingers through it. 

“Max!” Mike swatted at her, but he was laughing. “Stop it, I’m driving!”

“But it’s so soft!” Max giggled, resting her hand on Mike’s shoulder. God, Mike was cute. Why was he so cute? Why did he have to have such soft hair and such a nice voice? “So is your shirt,” she added, playing with the material between her fingers. She shivered as her knuckles brushed against the warm, soft skin of Mike’s neck. 

“Wow, you are drunk,” Mike grinned. There was a light blush in his cheeks that made Max want to kiss them. Luckily, she still had some self restraint. 

She didn’t want this moment to end. She so rarely got moments alone with Mike; she never knew how to ask for them. And now here they were, alone in a car on the deserted streets of their suburban town, college looming over them. She’d be in California soon, and while the warmth and the waves were a welcome future, she couldn’t help but mourn all of the memories she had here, all of the moves she’d never made. All of the maybes she’d never chased.

“Mike?” she said softly, her hand still on his shoulder.

He must’ve sensed the shift in the mood, as he was just as quiet as he gave a small, “Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right?” The words came spilling out. Not a confession, not the whole one, but nothing sober Max could ever find the words or the courage or the moment to say. “Like, I know I give you a hard time, but I love you. You’re a really good friend.”

Mike smiled the bashful smile that made Max’s heart flutter; he smiled like he’d never gotten a compliment before, like he couldn’t believe it. “You’re a good friend, too.” He didn’t say it back. It made Max sad for a moment, but she understood. Neither of them were good at explicit iloveyous, and he was sober. He was telling her he loved her by driving her home. Max understood the way he worked by now, so she was more than happy with what she got, really. But the melancholy, the time ticking down, it still weighed on her. 

“Will you still be my friend after college?” Max didn’t mean for her voice to be so watery, she really didn’t, and she wasn’t crying, but maybe her lower lip was shaking a little. 

For the first time since he’d started the car, Mike turned to look at her. He had the sweet little furrow between his brows, a calculating look in his eyes. Concern. He was looking at her and he cared, and Max wanted to melt into that feeling and stay there for as long as she could. “Of course we’ll still be friends,” he said. Max loved that passion that was in his voice, she loved hearing Mike talk about stuff he cared about, stuff he really meant. He had such a fire that stoked Max’s, and she liked to think she knew how to get him riled up as well. But that wasn’t what she wanted right now. What she wanted—well, what she wanted the vodka gave her. She leaned over the center console to rest her head on Mike’s shoulder. “Max, I’m driving,” he said, but it was half hearted this time, his voice soft, and he didn’t make her move. He took his turns gently, let her rest. Max closed her eyes and let it sink in: the way he smelled like laundry detergent; how warm and soft he was; the car vibrating softly around them. She tried not to kick herself for not seeking this out sooner.

Far too soon for her liking, they rolled up to her house. She sat up with a sigh, but she didn’t pull away. She didn’t look at Mike either. She just. Stayed for a moment before shifting back a bit to look at Mike. He looked so beautiful, even if it was dark in his car. She could see his eyes roaming over her face. The air was still, the houses all dark, no one on the street. It was like they were the only two people in the world. 

“Thanks for driving me home.” Her voice sounded all too loud as it broke the silence between them.

“Of course.” Mike surprised her by running his thumb lightly over her hand. God, Max wanted to know what his fingers would feel like laced between her own. “Text me in the morning to let me know you’re alive, okay?” he asked with a smile. Max rolled her eyes but grinned back at him. 

“As long as I’m not dead.” 

They stayed still another moment, Mike’s hand still just barely on hers. Leaning into the warm liquid courage, Max leaned forward and kissed Mike’s cheek, quick and panicked. Then she was saying goodnight and climbing out of his car, rushing inside. From her living room, she watched his car linger for a moment before pulling away. And as she brushed her teeth, and changed into her pajamas, and fell into bed, and lay awake, the whole time she felt the downy soft feeling of Mike’s skin tingling on her lips, the warmth of his blush spreading through her chest.

[vegetacide]

Tagged

Tagged by @gumnut-logic  :)

1. Would you rather accessorize with scarves or necklaces?

Scarves,  cause I like soft stuff to snuggle and hide my face in.

2. How old were you when you first saw mountains? (Or if you haven’t seen mountains, what do you imagine they’re like?)

Smokey Mountains on a road trip... erm.. in my mid teens I guess...

3. Do you make your bed in the morning?

It a habit I recently started when we first went on lock down to help me get my day started... prior to that.. hell no as I would just be crawling back into them later.

4. What type of stories did you like as a child?

Book wise when I was little.. anything my Dad would read to me at bedtime...As a teenager it was Sci-fi, fantasy and romance and hopefully all in the same book. 

5. What was the most exhilarating experience of your life?

Hmm ...no idea so will pick some at experience at random... sailing through a sun shower in St. Thomas on one of our honeymoon excursions to see sea turtles in their natural habitat. ...

Snorkeling for the first time in the ocean..

Skiing down a winter slope when I was a kid and somehow not managing to kill myself (I suck at skiing) 

First day we brought my daughter home from the hospital.. feels surreal as I sit here to think the 5 year old softly snoring beside me was once sooooo small and it was ONLY 5 SHORT YEARS AGO.  Dude, when they say the little years go by fast.. they weren’t kidding..

Oh.. and of course walking down the isle and somehow not tripping over my feet and face planting in front of my family and friends as I was shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane having a mild panic attack and worried I was going to fuck up somehow.

Okay, so the last one was more terrified than exhilarating but.. meh...

6. Do you agree with the concept of exotic pets?

Here in North America... if the thing was born in the wild.. it should stay in the wild...unless under the extreme circumstances of animal rescue when the animal can’t be returned to the wild..   If it was breed in captivity and is not on the endangered species list and wont eat you or rip your face off...say like a hedge hog which is oddly enough considered exotic where I am.. then its okay but only if the owner can provide a loving, healthy home.  (wolf hybrids,  tigers, ligers, and other exotic large cats are the exceptions as no one can care for them properly unless specialized training has taken place and you have like a billion acres of land for them...basically any animal that has not been domesticate over hundreds of years ... leave em alone... )

7. Describe your feelings about maths.

Necessary evil...enough said. 

8. When was the last time you finished a book?

Do audio books count? If so.. in March right before lock down.  Listened to a lot of books on my travels to and from work..   Currently I am able to actually pick up a hard copy and I am working my way through Crazy, Rich Asians.   Good book!

9. What’s a small way that you’ve been kind recently?

All the things I have done recently have just been what is expected of a normal human being with responsibilities so I cant really say.. erm.. made an extra meat loaf for my Dad so I know he is eating well... collected his beer bottles for return cause they just started excepting them again.. 

Started making my husband lunch as he was recalled to work... Do his laundry cause he usually does it for himself...

I haven’t really be out much in the world lately and as I said.. basic stuff. 

10. What new hobby/activity have you always wanted to try?

And got to the bottom and I think I fucked this up... oh well.. lmao.. so on to the questions I was supposed to answer...ooopppsss..  gonna leave the other answers above cause I spent the time to write em.. 

Oooh, and now I have to ask questions…

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  

Falling Lakes aka  Plitvice Lakes National Park  in Croatia cause it looks beautiful and would be the closest thing on Earth to being in a fantasy novel..  

2. Favourite pasta shape?  

No favourite shape.. just spoon sized cause spaghetti is messy

3.What do you need to do everyday to keep your mind and body working well?

Wake up... lmao

4. First ever fandom and why? How old were you?

This is a surprisingly hard question to answer as I have loved many things over the years.. I have always loved cartoons going back as far back as I can remember and later in life comic books and anime  so will answer this by first fanfictions  and first community.... 

Well.. first fanfiction i got hooked on reading was for Sailor Moon..age..erm... high school so like maybe grade 9ish..  At that point I had always loved cartoons but Sailor Moon really sucked me in. 

First I wrote and will never see the light of day... Biker Mice From Mars and/or G.I.Joe...cant rightly remember which came first and I am a huge Snake Eyes fan.  

First posted... DBZ I believe under another name.. and ermm.. no, I wont tell. 

First community I joined... Dragon Ball Z on here in fact.. and within the last few years.   I am still a DBZ fan but I jumped the fandom community wagon and joined up with a bunch of Thundernerds and completely fell down the rabbit hole.

And I am being vague about the age for a reason.. lol   

5.Deserted beach or snazzy night club?

Beach! 100% Sand between the toes,  the sound of the water lapping up the shore.. the smell of the salt in the air.. the sun on my back and my sandals dangling from my finger tips.. ahhhh perfection. 

6. Do you find it easier to talk to people online or offline?

Online.. cause there is security in anonymity. 

7. What do you think is the aim in your life? What do you ultimately want to achieve?

Wow.. talk about a soul baring question.. lmao.. I don’t know.. to be remembered and looked back on kindly.   To be better then those before me and to not make the same mistakes.. to be a good mom to my daughter and to not fuck her up to bad. (I answered this one out of order.. meh)   

8. Coolest Thunderbird

....well this one should be an obvious answer. lol

9. What is your absolute favourite topic to talk about?

My interests.. which are vast and varied. 

10. Do you have an embarrassing story to share?

How I fucked up this questionnaire.. lol 

okay so now for questions to ask,..if I understand this right that is what i am supposed to do now... hmm

1. Favourite dessert.

2. What would you rather...fine dining or eating around a camp fire?

3.  Favourite past time outside of here?

4. If you were a video game character, who would you be? Why?

5. Flight or invisibility? 

6. In the case of a zombie apocalypse what would be your escape plan and what would you do to survive? 

7. If you could go on a road trip anywhere in the world.. where would you go and what car would you be driving? 

8. Who would be in the seat beside you? 

9.  What would you rather... watch a thunderstorm or close the blinds

10. What 10 questions would you come up with if you could ask anyone anything?  (Ya, I so cheated there mu ha ha a ha) 

Feel free to answer.. or not. Open to anybody just copy and paste the last 10 questions.. not the whole thing like I did... oops... cause that would be wrong.. Oh and if you made it all the way down here after this long ass ramble .. GOLD STAR FOR YOU!  :) 

[haveanotherkpopblog]

Masquerade

Inspired by @noona-clock‘s “EXO as Royal Princes”

Part 1

Paring: Kim Minseok x You

Genre: AU, Fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: None

Masterlist || Next>>

Tonight was an unusual night within itself. Tonight was the annual masquerade. What made this particular masquerade so unusual was the fact that it was being hosted by Prince Minseok.

Prince Minseok didn’t host parties and very rarely attended them. No one really knew why. Some speculated he lived a double life, others assumed he was disinterested and spoiled. One theory was that he remained in the background so when he did decide to make a public appearance, all eyes were on him. That was the more likely case, for whenever he did make an appearance, he had the entire kingdom’s attention. He had such a profound way with words and such a breath-taking appearance, it was near impossible not to watch and listen to him.

You stood in front of your full length mirror, admiring your dress. You admired the dark blue fabric, attempting to follow the intricate gold design sewn into the skirt.  You were extremely appreciative of the theme Prince Minseok had chosen, “Midnight”.

“Lady Y/N,” called a servant. You turned around, a soft smile gracing your lips. “Your mask, my Lady.” You nodded, allowing the young girl to secure the mask on your face. The mask matched the dress beautifully, making you feel like a princess. You sighed wistfully, slowly turning.

“Thank you,” you said, bowing your head.

Admiring the decor, you make your way to the ballroom. Everything from the decorations, to the food, to the guests themselves was decked out in black, silver, and midnight blue. For a man who’s never hosted a party, he was doing a marvelous job.

“Y/N!” You turned your head, greeted by your best friend, Marchioness Y/F/N, hurriedly walking towards you. “Y/N! Oh my, you look exquisite,” she told you, her smile shining bright.

“Thank you Y/F/N. I must say, I love your dress,” you complimented. She giggled, spinning to show off her black and silver dress. “You’re the envy of the ball, not even Prince Minseok will be able to keep his eyes off of you.”

“You’re too kind, my dear Y/N. Speaking of Prince Minseok, have you seen him?” she inquired. You shook your head, making her pout. She’d always had a minor crush on the prince, if you count an unhealthy obsession as minor.

Before you could assure her he’d show up, a man, dressed in a black suit and a dark blue mask approached the both of you. He briefly nodded to you, then turned his attention Y/F/N, flashing her a smile.

“May I be as bold as to ask for the first dance?” he inquired. She smiled, nodding as she slipped her hand into his.

You smiled fondly as he whisked her away. You slowly made your way around where the dancers were, quietly observing them as they laughed and danced. You were so engrossed with what they were doing, you ran straight into someone’s back. You almost fell when a strong pair of arms caught you. Glancing up, you saw it was the man you’d run in to. You quickly straightened yourself. You curtsied, apologizing profusely. The man smiled, amused.

“No harm done,” he assured you. He was wearing a dark blue suit with silver accents and a matching mask. “As long as you’re okay.” You smiled, grateful it wasn’t some stuffy lord. He looked rather close to your age. He had black hair styled up to show his forehead. His voice sounded familiar, yet you couldn’t place it. You didn’t dwell on it, instead, offering a bow and continuing on your way.

You made it back to where you started by the time the song ended. Y/F/N ran up to you, flushed and slightly out of breath.

“I assume you enjoyed yourself,” you laughed. She nodded excitedly.

“He was amazing Y/N,” she sighed fanning herself. “He was so charming, and funny, and wow. Plus he said he was a prince. Maybe he was Prince Minseok!”

“That’s extraordinary Y/F/N.”

A tap on your shoulder made you turn around. It was the stranger from earlier. He was smiling at you, his cat-like eyes trained on you. He held his hand out, silently asking for a dance. You turned to Y/F/N, who was still rambling on about her prince, before you slipped your hand into his. He led you to the center of the room, twirling you to face him. The music began, and he gracefully guided you across the floor. 

“I must say, you are quite the elegant dancer,” you complimented. And indeed he was. He kept in perfect sync with the music, making you wish you’d taken your dance classes more seriously.

“Thank you, as are you. Much better than walking,” he teased. You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Did you ask me to dance just so you could tease me?” you asked. He chuckled softly, shaking his head.

“No, I asked you to dance because you’ve piqued my interest. I want to get to know you.” You nodded. “Please, tell me about yourself. Please.”

“Well, if you insist. What would you like to know?”

“Everything.”

You thought hard, figuring out where to start.

“Well, I’m an avid reader. I find there’s nothing more calming than reading a good book with a nice cup of tea. I enjoy a plethora of activities, and I tend to volunteer my free time to those in need,” you told him.

“Volunteer? I think you’re the first lady I’ve met that helps the poor,” he commented.

“And that’s what’s really sad. Everyday, those not lucky enough to be born with riches suffer. They suffer from poverty, starvation, lack of education, and so much more. Children are not taught literacy and mathematics, they are taught how to farm and take care of each other. They are not allowed to play because they have to work so they can eat.

“Don’t get me started on their diets. They can barely afford the food that’s rotten and stale, let alone fresh, clean produce. The mortality rate is unbelievably high, and it pains me to see them suffer.

“I’ve been reading some works by Lao-tzu. I highly recommend. He goes on to say:

‘When the rich prosper

While farmers lose their land;

When government officials spend money

On weapons instead of cures; when the upper class is extravagant and irresponsible

While the poor have nowhere to turn--

All this is robbery and chaos.’

“I wholeheartedly agree with him. Their majesties and his Royal Highness are too worried about themselves and every other country and every other country and not enough about their people.”

“His Royal Highness? Do you think so little of him?” he inquired.

You shook your head. “On the contrary, I think very highly of him. He is a fair man who knows when he must be firm. When he speaks, he knows of what he speaks of. His only problem is he’s focused on the wrong issues,” you explained. He nodded, appearing deep in thought.

“You are quite an intelligent woman. I have to say, you’ve certainly captured my attention.”

“Did I not have it before?” you jested. He smiled, an actual smile. You noticed the little kink in his mouth, how one side rose a little more than the other. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. “What’s your name?”

He hesitated. He glanced to the side then snapped his attention to you.

“Xiumin.” You wracked your brain, trying to remember any noble named Xiumin. None came to mind.

“I’m afraid I don’t know you. Are you a foreigner?” you asked. He shook his head.

“It’s what my friends call me,” he explained.

“You consider me a friend?”

“I’d like too.” He stared deep into your eyes, and you stared right back. “I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel so at ease with you. You’re an honest person, unafraid to speak your mind. I admire that. Since you know my name, may I know your’s?”

“Y/N,” you replied. He seemed completely taken aback by your name. “Xiumin? Is there a problem?” He quickly shook his head, his face contorted to look shocked.

“You wouldn’t be Countess Y/N, would you?” he inquired. You nodded. He dropped his jaw. “You opened a public library in your province, and donated to the orphanage, and volunteered at the hospital.” You nodded to everything, giggling quietly. “Wow, the Countess Y/N. It’s an absolute honor Lady Y/L/N.” “There’s no need to be so formal with me Xiumin. After all, we are friends, right?” you said blushing slightly. He grinned, nodding. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by a servant announcing the firework display. Everyone began to head to the gardens to watch. Xiumin held you back. You gave him a confused look, but he pulled you out onto the balcony. You could see the stars twinkling above, and you took a moment to find as many constellations as you could. “We won’t get in trouble for being up here, right?” you asked. He shook his head, walking to lean on the railing. You followed suit, standing right next to him. You could see everyone gathered in the gardens, making light talk. You spotted Y/F/N, surrounded by multiple men, all of them laughing. “I don’t remember if I told you, but you look gorgeous Y/N,” Xiumin whispered in you ear. You bit your lip, thankful for the darkness to hide your blush. Bright light attracted your attention, followed by a loud boom that rattled your chest. You glanced up at the night sky as fireworks colored silver and gold painted it, thundering loudly. The wind picked up, blowing across your exposed arms. You shuddered, running your hands up and down your arms. A jacket was put on your shoulders. You turned to see Xiumin without his jacket, staring at you fondly. You thanked him, heat rising to your cheeks. You continued to watch until it was over. And thus ended to masquerade. You were almost sad it was over. You turned to tell Xiumin something, but he was nowhere in sight. You rushed back to the ballroom, desperately searching for him. The only person you found was Y/F/N. You sighed, hugging his jacket closer to you.

“Where were you? You disappeared,” she said, looping her arm through yours. “I met someone. He was amazing. He actually listened to what I had to say and cared. He was so easy to talk to.” “Sounds like you found your prince charming! Where is he?” “I don’t know,” you replied. You looked down at his jacket, smiling softly. “I can only hope I’ll see him again.”

[toothpastecanyon]

We Walk Like Humans Do, Chapter 2

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures... for the ones that walked on two legs and fit in doorways, at least. Lacie has other problems to overcome before she can live in the big city.

Thanks to @feferipeixes for help editing this chapter! Go check out their awesome stuff!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

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               Oh, my stars. Alcor hasn’t laughed this hard in lifetimes.

Chapter 2 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - Everything You Already Knew About Transfiguration and Literally Nothing Else

Hi, I’m 18Lacie5 and I wrote another chapter for you humans. Everyone was really confused on my last post and seemed to think it was a joke, so I’ll start out by answering the five most common questions you had.

1 - Yes, I am a basilisk.

2 - No, I am not the basilisk from Harry Potter.

3 - No, I do not live in the Chamber of Secrets from Harry Potter.

4 - No, I am not the horcrux snake from Harry Potter.

5 - No, I am not in any way related to Harry Potter.

Are we all on the same page now? Good, because holy shit some of you really missed the point here. I got a visit from one of you with a replica of Gryffindor’s sword, and that was so annoying I didn’t even feel bad killing him - like dude, all that tells me is I KNOW you read my post about not coming down here, and then decided to come down here anyway ‘cause fuck me, right?

(The sword wasn’t even that good. It was made of cheap plastic, snapped like a spine.)

Anyway, despite all this the last post was fun to write, so I’m doing it again. Also it seems like the number of visits from treasure hunters has gone down since I posted, though it’s hard to tell. There’s not really a consistent number from year to year, and the day I start keeping a deathcount is the day I give up on life and buy a mirror to see if I can kill myself with my own reflection.

For science, you know?

               Alcor’s read the entire blog by now and it’s just perfect. The snark, the sarcasm, the casual disregard towards human lives that could only have been written by an ancient and powerful being - it’s hilarious!   And the spell entries… man, he could listen to Lacie tear apart someone’s Latin any day of the decade. If only she could come to some of his summons; she’d have so much material to work with there.

               With a chuckle, Alcor looks up and glances around the darkness of the Mindscape. He needs to show this to someone. But who? Mizar? She’s only a year into the current reincarnation… hmm, she might be a little too young to understand it. Lucy Ann’s somewhere around; he probes for her, and finds her - dammit - during naptime at some kindergarten in Portland.

               Anyone else?

               …

               No one else.

               There’s absolutely no one else in his life right now. That’s… that’s a fun reminder.

               He sighs, and sits back on the fabric of reality. Maybe some cultists’ll summon him; he could read them a blog post, see if they laugh. That’d be fun, right?

               Al narrows his eyes at the great nothingness before him. It’d be something, at least.

               ...You know, he can feel a little tug now.

               A weak one, just one summoner, and no circle. That confuses him at first - even the real amateurs usually manage to scribble out some sort of rounded shape - and when he looks closer, he sees it’s holding one of his summoning cards, holding it in its… hand?

               No, not quite a hand, and Alcor jolts right up as he realises shit that’s Lacie trying to call him, shit he didn’t think she’d call him back so soon! How long did he keep her waiting? It’s been a couple hours - shit!

               Alcor tessers over to her in an instant, his mouth already open and spilling apologies: “Oh my stars Lacie, I am so sorry for the delay! I got distracted and I didn’t think you’d call back so soon so I wasn’t watching as closely as I-”

               A deep, rumbling growl cuts him off. It’s a deafening sound, coming from a creature lounging on a pile of bones and gold with teeth the size of Alcor’s entire body; he can’t help but cringe at that. He takes a deep breath, remind himself that he’s an all-powerful demon who definitely doesn’t need to be scared of some mere mortal… even if she is pretty scary for a mortal.

               You know, relatively speaking. He isn’t scared, he just thinks she’s scarier than, like, a human.  Like a human from that pile of human skeletons she’s smashed into the wall. Yeah, that’s not scary at all. That wouldn’t kill him… looks like it would hurt, though.

               He double checked he isn’t standing near that spellbook she’s bound to, right?

               Just as he’s thinking this, Lacie lets out another even louder growl, and he jumps back with an undignified yelp.

               “Hey, whoa, Lacie!” Alcor watches her head shift to the side. “Lacie? Hello?”

               She doesn’t reply, and he looks to her face for an answer. He sees one of her eyes now: it’s closed?

               Closed.

               The realisation washes over him as she lets out another slow, rumbling snore.

               “Oh. You’re… you’re just sleeping, aren’t you. Duh.” He straightens, and casts a glance around the room as he fixes his tie and straightens his hat. “Glad no one noticed that… Lacie?”

               She doesn’t stir, and Alcor makes a face. He’s never turned up to a summons  and had the summoner fall asleep; would she want him to wake her up? Her dreams feel pretty peaceful to him, and even though that thing - is that a giant laptop? - she’s using as a pillow doesn’t look particularly comfy, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

               Yeah, it looks like he should just let her call him back… but there is something. Embedded in her sluggish thoughts, he can feel a sort of drive, a sort of desperation, and that makes him hesitate. He looks for her tail, and spots it still wrapped around his summoning card, still squeezing it in a death grip.

               Alcor frowns. He watches her snore one more time, then makes up his mind. With a deep breath, he reaches out and prods at her thoughts; they immediately begin to stir. He prods again, and Lacie lets out a grunt. Her eyelid cracks open, and she drags a sleepy glare across the room.

               Her gaze meets his, and he feels pain, pain in his soul, his soul feels like it’s being pushed out through his ears ow ow OW- and he recoils, unable to bear it for a second longer.

               Wow, he thinks, that really is potent. What on earth makes it so powerful?

               Before he can wonder about that, there’s a noise. Gold coins clink against each other as Lacie jerks up, blinking hard, panic flashing in her aura. Alcor holds up his hands.

               “Hey, hey, it’s just me!” He looks down as she fixes her eyes on him. “Sorry if you, uh, didn’t want to be woken up, I just thought… you know, you called me, and… what are you doing?”

               She’s cast the summoning card aside and is now wiggling the touchpad on her laptop. He cocks his head.

               “Whoa, I’ve never seen a laptop that big. Where on Earth did you buy that?”

               Lacie doesn’t acknowledge his question. She starts typing something, and he floats closer to see her login screen.

               “18Lacie5. Heh, I like your username.” He watches her click on the password box and slowly, painstakingly jab each key with her tail. “E… Y… E… What? Why are you looking at me like- oh. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

               There’s a faint snort from Lacie as he turns away. His cheeks redden.

               “Sorry, I forget hu- uh, mortals? Mortals tend to like their privacy on stuff… it’s kind of useless since Al-V can hack into pretty much any computer on earth - um, the Alcor Virus, that’s Alvie.” He hears the typing stop, and suddenly wishes he’d chosen literally any other topic in the world. “Um, not that I would make him hack into your computer! I’m just saying he could, and he probably has already… um, I just made him to get rid of Twin Souls though, you’re fine! O-or you should be fine - you don’t, by any chance, happen to like Twin Souls, do you? It’s, um, this book - well it’s a movie now but it was a book - and Mizar - who is my sister by the way - well, that’s why I hate it, because it has my sister and I, umm…ugh, sorry, it’s gross, my sister and I, we’re- huh?”

               A low hiss makes him look back, and he sees Lacie - ow - staring right at him. She gestures to the screen, which has a word document open on it with big, bold letters.

               “Oh, you want me to read that?” He floats closer, and frowns as he reads the first line:

               Im pretending 2 type rite now 2 see how long u wil ramble 4 wtf youre still going and now twin souls no nono why r u explaning i actually cant take the awkwardnes i got 2 stop u

               Alcor blinks, then shoots her a dirty look. The noise coming out of her now sounds an awful lot like snickering.

               “Wha- I was just-! I just wanted to clarify the hacking thing I said, I-!” The snickering gets louder, and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I’m a little rusty at small talk, very funny. I’d like to see how awkward you’d be if the only practice you could get is on a bunch of cultists in basements. They’re not exactly social butterflies either, you know!”

               Lacie just keeps laughing, and Alcor… well, he puts on a show of crossing his arms and heaving a long-suffering sigh, but he’s fighting a smile.

               It’s strangely nice, being here. Lacie’s strangely nice to be around; she already feels - and he has to remind himself he’s only met her twice - almost like a friend? Maybe he just has a low bar these days, but he hears her laughter, and… it’s just very, very nice. Nice in a way that’s hard to describe.

               Nice in a way he hasn’t felt for a while.

               The feeling lingers even after Lacie’s chuckling dies off, and he’s still smiling as he watches her reach for the laptop again. She jabs the down arrow a couple times, and some more, better punctuated text comes into view.

               I have revised the terms of our deal, it starts, and Alcor clears his throat, squares his shoulders, tries to get himself back into business mode. He reads on: and I would like to exchange the human bones that are currently in my room for a human disguise I am capable of putting on and taking off at will.

               He raises an eyebrow as he reaches the end. This is not the deal he was expecting to make. A human disguise… he can tell she’s no demonologist, that’s for sure; there’s so many interpretations of that, so many wonderful ways to tw͏is͡t her̡ ̵w̢or̵d̸s ͏a͟g̢ai͘n̸st͠ ̢h͝er-

               No. He shakes his head to clear it of his worst instincts, but they won’t leave, not in the presence of such an enticing deal. Suddenly, he’s glad he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes right now; he trains them on the ground instead, and starts to speak.

               “So, um… when you’re saying a ‘human disguise’, what do you mean by that?” He can’t see her face, but he can see a bolt of frustration flash across her aura. “Huh? What’s- oh right, can’t talk, uh… well, do you want me to make an actual, convincing disguise? You know, instead of, like, a wig and some sunglasses?”

               Lacie nods vigourously. He watches her tap the caps key and add ‘CONVINCING’ before the human disguise bit. A part of him screams at all the opportunities he’s giving up - willingly! - but he forces a smile and nods.

               “Cool, I can do that. I’ve made a few humans before- human bodies, that is, not… um.” Alcor coughs. “Anyway, I can give you a convincing human form for those bones of yours. How does that sound?”

               She taps the screen.

               “What…? Oh, yes, I’ll make it so you can switch back and forth at will. Good catch. Now, do we have a d̕e͇̪͍̜̻̪͘a̙̻̬̦͔ͅl̲̝͓͔?”

               He doesn’t extend a hand to shake, but blue sparks spurt from his fingertips as he watches Lacie mull it over. Her aura fizzles with nervous energy, but it only takes a couple seconds for her to tamp it down and give him a firm nod. The rush of a newly made deal makes his grin go wide; he tries not to let it go too wide as he claps his hands together.

               “Alrighty, then,” he says, rubbing them until those sparks turn into a full-blown fire. “One meatsuit coming right up!”

               He extends a hand to the pile of bones in the corner of the room, and with a flick of the wrist he rips the energy from them all  and absorbs it. The sacrifice warms him like a good meal, and he turns back to Lacie, ready to put that newly-gained power to use.

               He steps back and sizes her up with his hands, a gesture that makes her aura simmer with uncertainty. She makes a low, nervous sound, and he waves her away.

               “It’s alright, I just… need to remember how big a human is, how much I need to squish you down... Got it!!” Alcor readies his fingers to snap. “Okay, I’ve only done this on myself before, so there might be some kinks I haven’t thought of! Don’t worry, though, I’ll probably be able to fix them!”

               Before Lacie could respond, he snaps his fingers, and his magic rushes around her like a cloud. Skin forms over scales, hair grows over horns, and the figure that remains when it disperses is unmistakably human.

               It’s also falling to the ground from the height of Lacie’s head, and oh shit catch her catch her catch her - he freezes her momentum a couple inches from the ground then lets her plop, safely but definitely not gracefully, into a puddle.

               “Oh, my stars! Are you okay?” Heart pounding in his chest, he dashes over. “I am so sorry about that fall, how are you- ow, okay , I’m gonna need to get you some sunglasses or something - how are you feeling? Here, let me help you up!”

               He extends a hand, and Lacie… just stares at it.

               Just stares at him, not moving, and he can feel panic flaring up in her aura as she can’t move, oh stars she’s so tiny right now and she can’t move oh fuck-

               Alcor blinks. “Oh, right. Um, don’t panic-”

               Don’t panic??? DON’T PANIC??? FUCK THIS SHE’S LIKE FIVE INCHES TALL RIGHT NOW AND SHE CAN’T FUCKING MOVE OH MY STARS WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA SHE’S EVER HAD IN HER LIFE-

               “Lacie? Take a deep breath… Lacie? Lacie!” He cringes when Lacie’s eyes fix on him again. “Okay, um, I can see this is… a little stressful for you?”

               She nods vigourously.

               “Alright, um… don’t worry, I made it easy for you to change back! You just, y’know, gotta think of yourself being a basilisk again - or is it pronounced ‘battle-isk’? ‘Bas-til-isk’? Heh, that’s a weird word, I’ve only ever seen it written down-”

               Lacie ditches her human disguise as fast as she could, shooting back out to her original form and cutting Alcor off mid-tangent. He jumps back, watching relief flood through her aura as she could move again, thank the stars she could actually move and everything’s normal sized again… fuck, everything’s normal sized again. She wasted her deal!

               The relief’s spiking up into another panic, and Alcor clears his throat. “Alright, so that deal didn’t go to plan. No worries! I can’t exactly do refunds, but you’ve still got plenty of good stuff to sacrifice in here! Doesn’t bother me if this takes a few tries, heh.”

               But that doesn’t calm Lacie in the slightest, because now she has to think of another deal, her mind’s blank, she’s got nothing! But she’ll fall asleep if she makes Alcor leave again… maybe she will have to go for that deal.

               It’s hard to read her thoughts when they go quiet, but Alcor definitely picks up something about that deal as they’re retreating into a murky bubble of disappointment. He sees how she hangs her head at the idea, then lugs her laptop over to her, begins to peck away at the keys.

               He sees that, and frowns. “Hey, uh,” he starts, and right away her eyes dart over to him. “If you don’t want to make a new deal, I’m sure we could make this one work?”

               Lacie cocks her head.

               “I mean, I’ve been… I know a thing or two about being in a human body. It’s been a while, but maybe I could… y’know, show you the ropes?”

               She doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, and Alcor laughs nervously.

               “I-if you want. I mean, it’s been a while, but maybe I could show you enough to get around? I did technically promise your disguise would be ‘convincing’, so a couple human lessons should be easy enough to fit in, without… without another deal... um, I don’t know if you like this idea or you want me to stop talking? If you do that’s fine, I can do another deal, just give me a-”

               There’s a sort of fwoomp sound, and the coils and coils of Lacie’s body seem to twist out of existence. At the same time, a human takes shape where her head was, and falls right into Alcor’s arms before he has time to blink.

               “-a sign?” He finishes, and stares down at her. She stares right back, and he’d admire the steely resolve, the carefully-controlled fear in her gaze a whole lot longer if it didn’t make his soul want to push itself out through his ears.

               “Oh, Okay. Wow, you’re, um… diving right in, huh?”

               Lacie gives her closest approximation to a human smile, and Alcor’s caught off guard by how quickly he finds himself grinning back. An actual, genuine grin stretches across his face for the first time in too long, and he chuckles.

               “Alright, Lacie, I like your gumption!” He summons a pair of sunglasses, and sticks them over her eyes. “Let’s get humaning!”

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               Humaning. Lacie had taught herself many human things over the years; she’d taught herself to read, to type, to write - heck, she’d even managed to summon a demon (and in proper human tradition, had made a poorly thought-out deal with it.) She was no novice in learning how to human.

               Maybe that’s why she thought the whole human form was a good idea. She was great at humaning! She’d taught herself so many of their skills, educated herself on so many of their customs, she was able to pass as one of them online… sometimes, it really didn’t feel like she was all that different from them.

               After all, if she could read like a human and write like a human and think like a human, how hard could it be to walk around like one, too?

               …

               As it turns out, hard.

               Very, very hard.

               Duh.

               Everything, everything is different in a human body. Sure, she thought having arms and legs would take some getting used to, but how about all this hair? How about her cramped little mouth and her stubby tongue? How about her skin? Her skin is stupidly sensitive without scales; when she was lying on the stone, she could feel every little bump in it, could feel water soaking her, making her shiver - and shivering, ugh! What an awful sensation! Even though Alcor’s got her propped her up in a chair now, her skin won’t stop whining to her that, gasp, the fabric’s a little itchy!

               Whoop de fucking do, skin. Hopefully she grows a thicker one soon enough, because this is driving her crazy.  She’s laughing at the Lacie of a couple hours ago who thought she’d just be able to stand up and walk out of the sewers, and oh, speaking of walking ?

               Hah! Try moving them at all!

               Lacie’s been without these strange appendages all her life, and moving them would be like a human trying to nod with a second head they’ve just sprouted - sometimes she’ll get lucky and hit upon whatever bundle of nerves is controlling each of these limbs, and after two hours of Alcor’s patient coaching she can make them twitch on a somewhat consistent basis, but she’s not getting anywhere fast with them any time soon.

               She can only lie here, with her blunt teeth, with her papery skin, with her useless limbs…

               Helpless.

               Absolutely helpless.

               Alcor looms over her whenever he stands up… and that scares her more than she thought it would. Everything looms over her in this form; the - she called it little - pile of treasure she sleeps on now seems like a great mountain, the ceiling she often bangs her head on is higher still, impossibly high. She sees her spellbook resting on its lecturn, and it’s about the same size as her now; she remembers how tiny it once seemed, and- OH FUCK WHAT’S GOING- oh, she’s shivering again.

               Lacie frowns at that, and she lets out a noise that’s weirdly squeaky in this throat, and Alcor taps her shoulder.

               (And she feels that, holy shit skin it’s literally just a hand)

               “...need to take a break?” He’s asking. Frowning. “Lacie?”

               She nods, quickly, and he takes the sunglasses off her face before scooting back. Closing her eyes, she thinks of being a basilisk again, and all these alien sensations fall away with a flood of relief. Lacie is herself again; she takes a long moment to savour it, to lounge across her sleeping pile, to listen to her scales scratch against the stone floor, to open an eye and see Alcor as a tiny figure in her field of vision.

               “That looks comfy.” He says. He’s grinning, but she can barely make that out. “Darn, I should’ve moved the chair, too.”

               The chair? She lifts her body, and finds the chair she’d been sitting on, crushed beneath the weight of her coils. With a little chuckle, she sweeps it out from under her, marvelling at how tiny it is - how tiny she was.

               Alcor laughs, too. “Sheesh, you flattened it. I think it’ll be easier to make a new chair.”

               Laying her head on the ground, she lets out a lazy snort.

               “…um, when you’re ready, I mean.” He adds. “Or we can stop, if you’re tired? I can-”

               She heaves herself up. Ugh, she is tired - it creeps up on her. She can’t sleep though, not when she’s so close, so fucking close to getting out of here.

               “Oh, okay… are you sure? We’ve been at this a while, I really don’t mind taking a break…”

               Lacie tugs at that mental link in the back of her mind, and feels herself switch back into human form again. Unlike switching the other way, this form greets her not with a flood of relief, but with a host of silly little complaints: her back hurts, the stone’s not comfy on her face, it’s cold, she’s wet, on and on and on and she just wants it all to shut up… but, she will admit, there is one thing she likes.

               Alcor hoists her up on one of those tiny little chairs she’d been laughing at just a second ago, and she stares at him, and she feels awake.

               Completely awake.

               She can’t remember the last time her head’s felt this clear, and it’s a pity she has to spend half her human time fidgeting in a seat because otherwise it’d be amazing. Is this really how bad the energy situation had gotten down here? Wow, she really needed to get out of here, and fast.

               “Hey, Lacie?” Alcor’s saying something, and she looks over at him. “So I know you said - or, uh, indicated, anyway - that you didn’t want a break…”

               He pauses expectantly, and then, seeming to realise she isn’t going to follow it up with a ‘Yes?’ clears his throat.

               “Right. Well, I kind of would. Like a break. If that’s okay with you.”

               Lacie blinks.

               “You know, we’ve been doing this for a while, and I’m thinking maybe we could do something else? You know, it could be something fun! It could be something like, um, like… oh, do you play Scrabble?”

               She shakes her head.

               “No? Oh, I guess that was a longshot… how bout chess? I know there’s like, online chess… no?” He frowns at her continued head-shaking. “Alright, well… What do you do for fun down here?”

               Lacie thinks on that for a moment, then turns her head towards the laptop.

               “Oh, your laptop? Nice, nice.” He grins at her. “I love your blog.”

               Wait, her blog? He’s read that? He likes that? The surprise must be showing on her face, because Alcor starts laughing.

               “Yeah, it’s hilarious! I was actually so caught up reading it, I didn’t realise you were summoning me! I love just how sarcastic it is! It’s amazing!”

               Lacie blinks. Is he… gushing? Is Alcor the Dreambender gushing about her blog?

               Is this her life?

               “Man,” he rambles on. “that joke about a killcount, that was great. I just don’t get why it’s not more popular!  Humans, they just don’t have any taste… they’re, heh, they’re too busy reading Harry Potter, amirite?”

               He nudges her like he’s made some kind of clever reference, and she snorts at him. Okay, wow, demon or not, this guy really is an absolute plonker. She loves it.

               “Haha, yeah! They’ve been, uh, playing Quidditch too much to read your stuff! Yeah! Or they’ve been, um… making swords? Making- I should stop now, shouldn’t I.”

               With a big dumb grin on her face, she nods.

               “Yep, that was getting out of hand.” Alcor rubs his neck. “I just wanted to say I really liked it a lot. It was funny.”

               Lacie’s grin got even bigger.

               “So, uh, you really have been down here all your life, huh? Dealing with treasure hunters-” He chuckles when she rolls her eyes. “Hah, I can imagine that’s not fun! Yeah... so, uh, have you ever been outside?”

               She shakes her head. Maybe before she was old enough to remember, but that was a long, long time ago. Alcor makes a face at that.

               “Yeah, yeesh. No wonder you want to get out of here, no wonder…”

               He trails off, and Lacie watches his eyes go distant for a second before a thought seems to strike him; he blinks, frowns, then, slowly, he starts to grin. He turns to her again, and she raises an eyebrow at the shine in his eyes.

               “Hey, Lacie,” He says. “Want me to take you on a little tour?”

[thornewoodhospitalblog]

It can be absolutely daunting to log on and just stare blankly at an empty post. It’s quite a struggle, but have no fear! The Bee Sisters are here! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you will come out the other side. Okay, I’ll stop with the cheesy metaphors now. Read on for common causes relating to the loss of muse and how to revive inspiration by falling in love with your character again.

Problem 1: Stressful Personal Life One of the most common factors of lost muse is a stressful personal life. If work or home life has suddenly become unmanageable, it can cause writing to feel like a chore. 

Solution: We’ve all been through it and a brief hiatus in this circumstance can actually be pretty useful as they often give you time to take a step back and think about how you want your character to return to the RP. You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder! Take the time to relax, write a list about what you want to bring to the overall plot of the RP and how your character can facilitate that goal and get hyped up about returning.

Problem 2: Loss of Direction Similarly, it can become very easy to lose all sense of direction with your character and get wrapped up in going with the flow with no big development occurring. 

Solution: This is a good time to take a step back, reread your character’s bio and reevaluate your character and their existing connections. Tap back into your initial inspiration for where your character came from and think about what may have gotten lost or has been on hold for too long. What were your original aspirations for your character? How does your character specifically fit into the overarching plot of Thornewood? What does this character bring that advances Thornewood’s story?

For instance, if your character’s bio states they’re a go-getter and strive for achievement but haven’t quite achieved anything since arriving at Thornewood, perhaps it’s time for your character to earn a promotion or be downgraded from the red/yellow floor to the yellow/green floor. We know going backwards isn’t intuitive, but sometimes it’s important to look back in order to go forward. Looking back can provide inspiration for a plot revolving around a new characteristic or a developing skill could result in further character development for a more exciting and adventurous route.

Problem 3: Lack of Connections  A big issue with writing in a growing group is that as new writers and characters come in, it can feel as though your character is getting lost in the crowd. It’s absolutely essential you continue to put your character out there to be heard! Solution:  Open starters (we have a post all about intriguing open starters, posted here) are the best way to do this! Read the other characters bios and if you see one that your character may gel well with (or, it might even be more exciting if they don’t get along) and you have an idea for a plot (this part is really important!! Come to the table with at least some idea!), message them privately and pitch your ideas! We are extremely lucky to have a wonderful and friendly group of writers here so please don’t be worried or afraid to build those connections!

Problem 4: Undeveloped Character Development Bear with me on this one. You applied with a bio that, at the time, felt strong and you had a lot of muse for but as you got to threading and creating connections and plots, your character still feels…the same. Unmoved. Unchanged by their environment. Don’t stress! It happens, I’ve done it! 

Solution: Now its pivotal for you to go back to your character bio and pick out one part that you know you’ve lost or would like to improve upon. Now, journal, self-para, create mood boards, take mun/muse quizzes or personality tests for your character, fill in an IC all about me, create a playlist of songs that relate to your character. Work on them from the ground up. Strip them back and find the parts that make them unique. (I will be adding some character development quizzes to the main if you find these helpful.) But, the aim here is for you to basically rebuild your muse from where it first began but with a refreshed perspective.

Problem 5: It’s Been Awhile There are many reasons why you may have taken a hiatus, and rightfully so, but now you’ve been away for so long that jumping back in sort of feels like a huge leap. The dash has moved, events have unfolded and everyone seems to be in the midst of a big plot. 

Solution: Before returning, set up a group chat with the mods and we will fill you in on everything that may have occurred in your absence. In the midst of this conversation, you can absolutely plot with us about how your character should return! We enjoy helping when we can and ensure a smooth transition back into Thornewood. Don’t let yourself suffer in silence! Communication is key!

Problem 6: Striving for Perfection  I know first hand how it feels to be in the middle of writing an important plot that you are incredibly proud of and want to be good and entertaining enough that the other writers in the group are interested in reading it, buuuuut there’s a fine line between writing well and wanting to write well that your ambition ends up scaring off your muse. Now, to be clear, we’re not saying don’t try to write the absolute best can! Please, do! Push yourself! However, we’d like to caution you that an unhealthy amount of pressure on yourself will kill muse.

Solution: If you’re staring at your reply and pulling your hair out, hit that little “save draft” button and walk away. I’m serious. Close your laptop, make yourself a drink and take a deep breath, or even move onto another thread you have. I’ll often give myself 45 minutes to an hour and then come back to the original thread. At that point, it’s like a fresh pair of eyes going over what you had before and you’ll suddenly see the mistakes and your second draft will be 100% better.

Problem 7: Insufficient Communication Okay, this one here is a biggie and I need you to know one thing before I start, when we say communication is key, we mean it. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have watched people lose all their muse because they are not communicating honestly and effectively with their RP partners. 

Solution: If the plot you created isn’t working anymore, tell them. If they’re all over the place and rarely on, meaning you can’t write with them, discuss it with them. If you feel you’re being disrespected or not listened to, talk to them openly and honestly. (If you’ve done this and are still having issues, please report such a thing to the mods as this is something we can deal with). If god-modding (you didn’t previously approve), meta-knowledge or meta-disrespect has taken place, report it to the mods immediately. This destroys all love for writing and your plots and can make for a tense and hostile environment which is not something tolerated here at Thornewood. Communication with your partners and mods is incredibly important.

Conclusion: If you got this far, wow! Thank you! Gold star for you, if there’s one thing this bee does well, it’s ramble. This guide has come from a very honest place because recently I have been struggling with a loss of muse and through writing this, I’ve used my own tips to bring it back. If you take anything away from this, let it be this:

Hiatuses are a-okay and a lot of the time, necessary. Please don’t lose sight of the fact that this is supposed to be a fun and enjoyable space and lastly, the mods are here to help, guide and support you in anyway we can. We are only a message away.

[bucky-my-barnes]

Preference #5: You Make It Official!

Tony:

It had been two days since you had last heard from Tony, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. You were certain that you had said something to upset him at this point. Sure it might be you trying to fill in the blanks that he left but you couldn’t think of anything else that could be wrong. Finally you decide to just go visit him and find out what was really going on. It felt a little weird going into the Avenger Tower as you hadn’t been here yet but you weren’t going to back down now. Walking up to the receptionist you gave your name and stated your purpose, apparently Tony had put you on the list so you could go right down to the lab.

Getting into the elevator you got a big shock when a voice rang out to you. “What floor Miss/Mr (Y/N)?”It asked causing you to look around for the source but you were left with only confusion as there was no one in sight. “I am FRIDAY, Mr. Stark’s AI.”The disembodied voice explained causing you to relax.

“Can you please direct me to where Mr. Stark is?”You asked receiving step by step instructions from the AI after leaving the elevator until you came to a glass door seeing Tony working hard on something in front of him. Knocking to get his attention he could barely hear it over the Black Sabbath blaring in the background. Looking up a wide smile grew on his face as he asked FRIDAY to turn off the music and let you in.

“Hey there darling! I wasn’t expecting you, not that I am complaining.”Tony chuckled wrapping his arms around your waist placing a soft kiss on your temple.

“I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days, I was worried.”You explained softly, your eyebrows furrowing with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been working really hard on something and well I wanted to finish it before I showed you but I guess now is a good as time as any.”He said grabbing your hand pulling you over to the elevator directing FRIDAY to take you to the roof. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders you felt yourself getting more and more confused that was until the sky lit up in amazing glory. Fireworks going off in every direction brightening the dusk falling around you. The grand finale was spectacular, even more so when the words ‘Be Mine?’ popped into the sky. Turning to Tony with tears in your eyes you could only nod and wrap your arms around his neck nestling into his shoulder happily.

Steve:

To say that Steve was old fashioned was an understatement, you had lost track of the amount of dates you had been on and still he hadn’t asked you to be his significant other. Maybe you were expecting too much out of the relationship, but it seemed you were both incredibly happy when you were in each others company. How would you even bring up the question to him if you even wanted to ask what the two of you were? So when he asked you on another date you decided to find a way to ask him before the night was over. At this point you were used to not knowing what the plans were so you just went with the flow.

Dressing warm like he asked, you were eagerly awaiting his arrival when you heard his motorcycle rumbling down the street. Fixing your hair one last time, despite the fact that the helmet you wore always messed it up anyway, you walked out to him. Wrapping your arms tightly around his waist you anticipated what was going to happen next with baited breath. Coming to a stop he helped you off the bike, placing the helmets on the seat before holding his hand out to you. Taking it, he led you to a clearing where the stars were bright in the sky, shining like you had never seen them before.

“Wow.”You said unable to take your eyes off them. “Where did you find this place?”You asked breathlessly lost in the magic before you.

“I found it one night when I took a drive to clear my head. I haven’t brought anyone else up here until now. I wanted to bring you somewhere special when I asked you this. So here goes...will you go steady with me?”Steve asked catching your gaze now the nervousness clear on his face.

“I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to ask, of course Steve I would love to go steady with you.”You said slipping into his lap nuzzling your nose against his making him laugh lightly.

Clint:

On your second date he decided to take you horseback riding since you had never done it before. Approaching the ranch you hoped that it would be easier than you anticipated, but it was highly unlikely for that to be the outcome. The instructors there kindly explained each step to you, and said that they would be there for every step of the ride. All of these things plus an amused Clint in your ear put you at ease for the moment as you mounted the saddle swinging your legs over. The initial part of the ride was rather enjoyable and it was easy to command your horse to do the things you wanted to do.

That was until a fox jumped out of the wooded area effectively spooking your horse causing them to take off full sprint with you still on them. Well you were until they jumped over the fence line dropping you off onto the ground with a resounding thud. Groaning you rubbed your head having hit it on the edge of the fence hearing shouting coming closer by the second. “(Y/N), can you hear me? Are you alright?”Clint’s voice rang out, at least you thought it was Clint you were having trouble focusing before the world went dark.

Waking up you hear shouting again but this time there is a resounding bright light invading your eyes, and slowly you are able to understand what is being said. “You don’t understand they are my significant other! I need to be there when they wake up.”Clint was arguing with someone in a lab coat you could only assume was a doctor.

“Clint?”You called out hoarsely coughing slightly when you spoke. Quickly he pushed past the offending doctor making his way to your side.

“Oh thank god you are okay, you have a concussion I was so worried. They tried to keep me from seeing you thinking that I hurt you or something.”Clint rambled on until you pressed your finger to his lips silencing him.

“Significant other?”You asked raising your eyebrow curiously.

“Well I was going to formally ask you at dinner tonight, but I can’t wait any longer. Be mine?”He asked kissing the finger still pressed to his lips.

“I would be a fool to say no.”You said giggling lightly trying not to aggravate the headache growing worse by the minute.  

Bruce:

Today was finally the day! You were going to be graduating and becoming Doctor (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) PHD with a doctorate in Environmental Science. Of course you invited Bruce, who insisted that The Avengers come as well. It was cute how proud he was of you and how he wanted everyone close to him to experience it with him. Putting on your cap and gown you looked in the mirror tearing up at the sight you had longed to see for your entire life. There was a knock on your door catching your attention so you walked over opening it. Smiling widely you let Bruce in excited to see him since you weren’t expecting to see him until after the ceremony. “Hey Brucie.”You greeted him affectionately hugging him tightly.

“Hey there is my future Doctor (Y/L/N) are you ready to do this?”Bruce asked blushing slightly at the nickname you had given him, but it was clear he liked it.

“I am a little nervous, but also excited to start the rest of my life!”You said ecstatically trying to contain yourself just a little, but you were still kind of bouncing all over the place.

“Speaking of that, the reason I’m here early is I wanted to ask you something kind of important. I am not really good at expressing my feelings often but here goes. When I met you for the first time it was like you just saw me Bruce, a normal everyday guy and not someone who has to deal with the other guy. While I have him under control most of the time, that doesn’t mean that something couldn’t happen and that I couldn’t still hurt you. Although I would like to think that the other guy would like you too but that’s beyond the point I’m trying to make and not ramble on. What I want to ask you is...will you be my significant other?”Bruce asked finally taking a breath after getting it all out.

“There is nothing I want more in this world Bruce, and you are just Bruce. Other guy or not, you are still you and that isn’t going to change. Neither is the way I feel about you.”You said leaning up kissing his cheek wrapping your arms around his waist resting your head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

Thor:

The nervousness you felt deep in your soul as you held Thor’s hand was indescribable, sending you almost into a panic attack. Today he was taking you up to Asgard for the first time, and you were probably going to meet his parents. What if they didn’t like you? What were the two of you anyway? I mean he had never really asked you to be his, but at the same time he was taking you to his home. Another realm that you had only read about, and now you were going to be visiting a place of dreams. “Calm down Lady/Sir (Y/N), I promise it is not as scary as it seems. You won’t even really notice going through the bifrost.”He said reassuringly thinking that was why you were panicking.

“Okay.”You said smiling meekly at him and before you knew it you were in a city glittered in gold everywhere you looked. “It’s absolutely astounding.”You said in awe, circling around not even noticing Heimdall standing there watching you with an amused expression.

“Midgardian?”He asked Thor causing you to jump as you were now very aware of his presence but that only seemed to make him laugh.

“My mate.”Thor said proudly looking to you, not understanding your confused expression. “You are aren’t you? We have gone on many Midgardian dates.”He said a grand smile stretched across his face.

“Well usually you have to ask first and the other person has to accept, but of course I am Thor.”You explained chuckling knowing you should have realized that he did not exactly understand Midgardian customs, and you did not understand Asgardian ones for that matter which made you feel as out of place as he did on Midgard.

Loki:

A few days after the ball where you had spent the night together dancing and carrying on with one another, you found yourself in the very gardens you had visited with Loki as a child. Much to your surprise he sitting on a stone bench reading a novel of some sort. Walking near him, he seemed to finally notice your presence and it caused him to smile widely before placing the book down. “(Y/N) I was wondering if you were going to show up, you are a little later than usual.”He said alluding to the fact that you came out into the garden at that time every single day.

“I had to tend to Queen Frigga a little longer than normal tonight. Were you waiting long?”You asked not wanting to waste his time, it was after all a precious commodity these days when you could barely see one another as it was.

“No, not long. But I needed to see you again, after the other night you have been the only thing on my mind. I can’t promise you the world but I promise that I will be yours as long as you will be mine. So please do me the honor of letting me court you?”Loki asked closing the gap between you, holding out a fully bloomed Lotus blossom.

“There is no one I would rather be with my Lord.”You said seriously, only being formal because it was very important question in Asgardian dating culture. Reaching up you cupped his face lovingly, feeling him melt into your touch.

Pietro:

For his birthday you had gotten him a polaroid camera to capture memories with wherever he went. Somehow he always managed to catch you off guard and snap one of you when you weren’t even looking at him. Sure it annoyed you a little bit at first, but then again you did buy it for him to do with what he wanted. It confused you as to why he would want to waste film on candids of you but it made much more sense when he handed you a photo album he had been adding to for a little while now.

“Wanda helped me think of this so I can’t take all the credit as much as I would want to. She would know if I didn’t.”Pietro chuckled as you started flipping through it page by page. “I have been taking pictures of you as you know, but the reason is that you mean so much to me. When we were younger I used to dream of finding someone that I wanted to be with. Those dreams were dashed when our parents were killed, or at least I thought they were. That was until I met you and you were everything I dreamed of and more. This is so I will always be able to remember our time together, I don’t want to forget a moment, especially the little ones. I wasn’t expecting to fall for you, but I full on face planted.”He explained laughing a bit. “What I want to ask you is if you will be mine? I don’t think I could be without you.”

“Oh Piet, of course I will!”You exclaim tearing up at his words and his reasoning behind the photos. You never thought you were particularly attractive but through his eyes you could see there was more than you gave yourself credit for.

Peter Parker:

It was supposed to be a normal movie night with Peter, MJ, and Ned but sometime between the end of school and 7 PM when you guys were going to meet up at Peter’s the other two bailed leaving just you and Peter. Actually when you thought about it, you were excited to have a night alone with him. Part of you hoped he had actually arranged it that way, but the other part was less than optimistic. Sitting on his bed he started up the movie which was Jurassic Park, one that you both loved endlessly. Slowly you fell asleep during it, not even realizing that you were nodding off.

Awaking slowly you realized Peter was shaking you softly trying to rouse you from your slumber. “Sorry Pete.”You groaned sitting up rubbing the sleep out of your eyes feeling bad for falling asleep during movie night.

“It’s okay, it gave me time to do this.”Peter said smirking leading you out to your spot on the roof. Somehow he had formulated his web formula so he could put words into the webbing taking the idea from everyone’s favorite childhood book. ‘Charlotte’s Web’. Inside the web he had cast on the roof read the words. ‘Be mine?’ “Okay don’t freak out, but I’m kind of Spider-Man and I’m really not supposed to tell people this but I can’t keep the secret from you anymore and I really want to date you. Please don’t be mad at me?”He spat out looking at his feet still in the lower half of his suit only missing the mask.

“As long as you won’t be mad when I tell you that I kind of already knew, and my name is actually kind of (Y/N) Stark. I think you know my dad Tony very well.”You explained hesitantly not fully revealing all of your secrets just the important need to know information.

“Tony Stark is your...dad?”Peter asked fainting on the spot leaving you to clean up the webbing and get him into bed. Chuckling you placed a kiss on his forehead before heading home for the night, trying to figure out how to tell your father that you are dating Peter Parker.

Bucky:

As your sessions went on, it seemed that Bucky had regained a lot of the man he feels he used to be. The flirty nature that he once held was on the rise once again, and you were soaking up every minute. Unfortunately that meant others were picking up on it as well, especially at Stark’s various get togethers. Going over to the bar to get the two of you a drink, you noticed a pretty blonde lady trying to chat him up. While it didn’t appear that he was interested it still made you realize that there was no clear label between you two. What if you were just practice for someone that he had yet to meet?

Seemingly like he knew what was going on in your mind he left the woman’s side heading over to you wrapping an arm around your waist pulling you into him. “Dance with me doll?”He asked softly into your ear, earning a nod from you letting him lead you onto the dance floor. Hands placed softly on your hips, your wrists crossed behind his head, swaying back and forth to the music like no one else was around you. “You know I haven’t been able to figure out the best way to do this, so I just want to come out and say it… Will you be mine?”He asked whispering the last part in your ear.

“I would be honored James.”You said whispering your answer back into his ear, using his actual name since it was such an intimate moment. “Also took you long enough.”You laughed playfully pushing his shoulder earning a loud laugh from Sam who apparently heard you from across the room.

Sam:

After a rather hard mission Tony had decided he was going to take the Avenger’s and their significant others on a vacation. Getting the time off wasn’t the easiest but nothing could keep you from spending a week with Sam, even a job which in reality wasn’t the best anyway. Immediately as soon as you all touched down in Hawaii everyone was off to hit the beach and the waves. Seeing a little pagoda on the strip walking up, you and Sam decided to rent some surf boards. It had been a few years since you had surfed but you knew it was like riding a bicycle you just never forget.

Unfortunately you didn’t count on the swell being so unforgiving, as wave after wave crashed down effectively knocking you off your board being carried into the undertow. Unable to breach the surface you started saying your goodbyes in your mind, until a pair of strong arms pulled you onto the beach. The next thing you knew you were coughing and spitting up an insane amount of water. “Babe, oh god babe you are okay.”Sam said breathing heavily leaning over you the others rushing to your side. “I can’t believe I almost lost you.”He said tearing up pulling you into his chest.

“I’m sorry.”You apologize even though it was something that could happen to anyone. (Remember folks swim parallel to the beach and you will have a better chance of making it back to shore)

“No no, shh shh.”He said keeping you close to him for the rest of the day. As it fell into evening the sun was setting over the water, and the boys were building sandcastles while you watched on. Sam lightly picked you up and carried you over to the water’s edge. There in the sand he had written the words. ‘Be my significant otter?’ which made you laugh but also you thought it was the sweetest thing, especially after he saved your life.

“You know otters mate for life right?”You asked raising an eyebrow at him only to be met with his usual cocky grin and a nod. “Well if you are sure, then of course my otter.”

Natasha:

Somehow on a mission you had gotten separated from the others which while you were trained you weren’t exactly ready to solo by any stretch of the imagination. Reaching the room you were supposed to gather the selected intel you didn’t hear someone come up behind you sticking a needle into your neck. It didn’t take long before you were down for the count only to be woken up by a bucket of ice cold water being splashed on you. “Tell us where to find the other Avengers.”A voice commanded with a deep accent.

“Well that’s not going to happen.”You scoffed only to be met with a fist to the side of your face leaving a stinging sensation from the rings the man was wearing. Blood was now definitely trickling down your cheek. “Oooh wait until my friends get here, they aren’t going to like that you have treated me with such disrespect.”You said with a cocky grin earning you another punch to the face, and then one to the gut knocking the air out of your lungs. A loud bang was heard down the hall gaining the attention of the man interrogating you, but you knew exactly who it was.

The door busted open and the man was on the ground before he could even comprehend what was happening, a Widow’s Bite attached to his neck. “Are you alright?”Nat asked rushing over to you untying you checking out your wounds which in retrospect were a lot less severe than they could have been. “God, you aren’t ever leaving my sight again! Do you know what I would do without you? You’re mine you know.”She said trying not to show too much emotion but failing even for an assassin but it said a lot that she cared this much for you.

“I always will be Nat.”You said kissing her forehead trying to comfort her, but inside you were leaping for joy that finally you had her for your own.

Wanda:

When you were out shopping with everyone you had stopped in this little store that had a bunch of various antiques in it. Wanda was over with her brother looking at the vinyls to see if there was anything new they wanted to add to their collection. A necklace lay in the display case stating that it was a Vintage Royal Ruby Necklace, and while it was pricey it just screamed Wanda to you. Being super sly about it you made your purchase hiding it in your purse before anyone could notice. After dinner you asked her if she wanted to go for a walk with you, fully intending on asking her to be your girlfriend.

Leading the way holding her hand happily you kept using your other hand to pat your pocket to make sure that it was still there the entire time. If she noticed you doing this she didn’t say anything but once you finally reached the park you couldn’t stand it anymore. “Wanda I just want to tell you that since the day I met you, I have been the happiest person I’ve ever been. I am closer to you than anyone before, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t ask you to be my girlfriend. So will you be mine?”You asked holding the necklace out to her causing her to gasp.

“Of course draga! Where did you get this?”Wanda asked her mouth standing open as you placed it around her neck, clasping it in the back for her. “It is beautiful, unlike anything I have ever seen before.”

“Now you know how I feel when I look at you, and I got it at that cute little vintage shop we went to today. You were busy with Piet and when I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you.”You smiled hugging her tightly to your chest feeling like everything was right in the world for once.

[anne-wentworth]

Suit and Tie

At a gala, the most eligible bachelors of the city are auctioned off for charity. Oliver never thought that Felicity Smoak would be the one to win a date with him. Rival CEO au of sorts ??

Read on ao3

Oliver stepped onto the stage, along with all of the other eligible bachelors of Starling City, ready to be auctioned off like a piece of meat.

That wasn’t fair. It was for charity after all.

Turns out that people would pay a lot for a date with the city’s finest men.

Usually, Oliver didn’t mind. In fact, if he was being honest, he enjoyed it a little. It stroked his ego. And the winner was usually a leggy blonde or brunette, he wasn’t picky with his preferences, which was an added bonus.

But this year...his heart just wasn’t in it.

He wasn’t sure what changed but all of a sudden he was tired.

Something in him yearned for something more but he didn’t know what.

What else could he possibly want anyway?

He already had everything.

Yet that nagging feeling tugging at his stomach wouldn’t leave him alone. Maybe his mother’s endless lectures about his image and playboy lifestyle were finally getting to him.

Or maybe he realized that he wasn’t the kind of person his father would be proud of.

He didn’t know but being around girls who only wanted him for his money and guys who only wanted to be his friend because of his name was becoming exhausting.

It was like his world broke but he was the only one who knew.

“Our next bachelor is none other than the CEO of Queen Consolidated himself....Oliver Queen!” the woman announced, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Plastering on a smile for the cheering crowd, Oliver walked to the center of the stage.

But it wasn’t long before he tuned out again, losing track of who placed their bids on him and at what price. He couldn’t tell anyone apart anyway with everyone wearing masks to fit the theme of a masquerade.

He had arrived at the event with his own face bare, the mask he wore for the public being enough.

“Sold to number thirty four!” the announcer exclaimed and the room applauded again, although now it was mixed with murmurs of disappointment.

Oliver’s eyes fell to the woman holding the card with thirty four printed on it. Her blonde hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, matching her golden mask. Her lips were painted a deep red, the same shade of her dress. He couldn’t help but notice the way it hugged her figure perfectly, as if it was made specifically for her.

At least she was hot.

He made his way off the platform, heading towards her to politely introduce himself as a man in a tux passed around to collect the placards.

Oliver was always the last one to be ‘sold.’ He was the main event.

Sauntering up to the blonde, he flashed her his award winning grin.

And then she removed her mask.

Oliver blinked in surprise, standing there like an idiot as he forgot how to speak.

Felicity Smoak.

The CEO of Smoak Industries was his biggest competitor. She was his rival. And from their brief interactions in the past, he gathered that she hated him. Which was fine because he hated her too.

At least that’s what he told himself anyway.

“You bought me?” he finally asked when he found his voice.

“Yeah...” she trailed off awkwardly and Oliver could see the flashes of regret in her eyes.

“Why?”

“It seemed like a fun thing to do,” she shrugged nonchalantly but he felt the uncertainty radiating off her.

“Why?” he repeated because he was still shrouded in confusion.

“I may have drunk too much champagne,” she admitted with a wince, nervously running her fingers through her curls.

At that, Oliver let out a laugh.

Of course she did.

Felicity visibly relaxed at the sound and a warmth settled within him.

“You’re such a lightweight,” he teased.

“Shut up,” she grumbled, swiveling on her heel and heading towards the open bar.

With the corners of his mouth still turned up, he found himself following her.

His night just got a lot more interesting.

She leaned against the counter where she discarded her mask, sipping on a new flute of champagne. He sidled up next to her in silence, not exactly sure what to say.

Oliver always thought that there was something lonely about her. It reminded him of himself. But tonight there was an air of sadness around her too.

He wondered what she was trying to drink away.

“I hate that the press are always here at these things,” she mumbled, shooting a glare at one of the journalists from Star Magazine.

As Oliver followed her gaze, he suddenly remembered watching her talk to a woman in a gold mask earlier. Even with half her face hidden, he had been able to sense her annoyance as she wore a frown that continued to deepen. He had only been half paying attention though, flitting from one investor to the next as he tried to avoid getting roped into an interview himself.

Now however, he wanted to know more.

“Well it is a gala for charity,” he said. “You know the rich can’t do anything charitable without publicizing it.”

“Right,” she replied, her lips quirking up. “Because then what would be the point?”

“Exactly.”

She sipped her drink with a small smile and Oliver tried not to stare.

Her smile had just become his new favourite thing.

Quickly, he pushed the thought aside. Yet he couldn’t deny that there was something about her that was absolutely enchanting.

Oliver had barely touched a drink all night. However he didn’t need alcohol to make impulsive decisions.

So as the music began to swell and couples started making their way onto the dance floor, he asked the most important question in the world.

“Will you dance with me?”

“I didn’t think dancing was your thing. Outside of clubs I mean,” she said.

Her words stung but it wasn’t like he could be angry. After all, that was the reputation he had built for himself.

“I’ll make an exception tonight,” he said softly.

“How many girls have you used that line on?” she snorted but her eyes were shining.

“I lost track a while ago,” he said with a shrug.

Oliver couldn’t possibly remember every girl he had flirted with.

But tonight he meant it.

“Fine,” she eventually sighed, downing the rest of her champagne before taking his hand in hers.

He hid his surprise as he led her out onto the floor. She threw her arms around his neck while he placed hers at her waist, sparks erupting in his heart.

Suddenly, she rested her head on his chest and everything in Oliver stilled.

“I’m tipsier than I thought,” she groaned against him.

“Told you you’re a lightweight,” he responded, unable to resist his grin.

She muttered something under her breath and he thought he caught the word ass but Oliver was nothing short of delighted.

They swayed slowly amidst the other couples and he was aware that he was basically holding her up but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t mind holding her forever.

It was a dangerous thought that snuck its way into his brain but this time, he didn’t shove it in a corner.

Oliver had always been intrigued by the woman who graduated MIT at the age of nineteen and built an empire by twenty four. Felicity was a genius in every way possible and when she set up shop in Starling City and gave his family’s business a run for its money Oliver was impressed.

But it was clear that he wasn’t the only one who put on a persona for the public.

However tonight was different. The tides were changing, something shifting beneath their feet.

With Felicity in his arms, Oliver could breath again.

“So why were you trying to drown yourself in champagne?” he inquired gently.

A long pause followed and he was beginning to think that she wasn’t going to answer at all when she finally spoke.

“The journalist earlier was talking to me and saying how I’m doing so well and everything but of course she had to bring up the fact that I’m not seeing anyone. She was talking about how I don’t have anyone to share my success with like firstly I don’t need to share my success with anyone it’s all mine thank you very much. It wouldn’t have really bothered me but my cousin just got engaged so the only thing my mother can ask me lately is when am I going to get settled down because you know that’s the most important thing in the world.”

Her speech was slurred a bit and even though she obviously tried to hide it, the bitterness in her tone was unmistakable.

“I’ve been on Forbes thirty under thirty three times already but all my mother cares about is that I don’t have a husband yet,” she said with a harsh laugh.

Oliver knew what it felt like to disappoint his mother far too well. But he never fathomed that someone as exceptional as Felicity would share such feelings.

She was perfect.

His heart broke for her a little.

“Oh wow I ramble even more than usual when I’m drunk,” she said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Oliver didn’t take the bait.

“I’ve been running the company for five years now but all my mother is concerned about is my image and what people think of me,” he confessed quietly. “In her eyes...I’ll never be able to fill my father’s shoes.”

It was something that he had never said out loud.

But for Felicity, he voiced the thing that haunted him most.

“I think you do a great job with QC,” she said, almost a whisper.

Sunlight surged throughout his veins, pulling him into a sort of comfort he hadn’t experienced in ages.

“I think you’re amazing. All on your own.”

She sucked in a breath and he wondered if he was affecting her the way she was affecting him.

And so they stood, entwined together with their hearts beating as one. The rest of the room faded into nothing as Oliver threw caution to the wind and allowed himself to become lost in all that was Felicity.

He let his walls come down.

It wasn’t long before she pulled away, placing her hand against her head.

“I think I should head out now,” she mumbled.

“I’ll take you home,” he offered because he didn’t want to say goodbye to her just yet.

And because she didn’t quite look as if she could survive on her own at the moment.

“Oh you don’t have to. It’ll still pretty early you don’t need to leave yet.”

“Felicity I wanted to leave the second I walked into the building,” he informed her.

Her name rolled off his tongue with ease, the three syllables tasting pleasant in his mouth.

“Okay,” she said, her lip curling upward.

He led her out of the room, his arm still around her as he supported her and already dreaded the instant when he would be forced to let her go.

Pulling out his phone, he called his driver and it before they knew it he arrived. They got in and Felicity leaned her head against his shoulder and then just like that she was asleep.

If he didn’t know any better, he would say that butterflies were flying around his stomach as he looked at her with her eyes fluttered shut. But he didn’t get those anymore. Besides, he wasn’t some kid.

The one thing that he couldn’t deny however, was that for just a night, his world felt whole again.

And the feeling of longing in his stomach had melted away.

Oliver had no idea what any of it meant.

But god how he wanted to find out.

[daggerzine]

Celebrity Mixtape Party #2 With Bob Fay!  (presented by Matthew Kenneth)

The second installment of Celebrity Mixtape Party brings you none other than rock and roll gentleman from Sebadoh, Bob Fay! Bob waxes intellectual about a variety of pop tunes I recorded onto magnetic tape for him. I envision Bob working long into the evening writing this. Stroking a beard, smoking a meerschaum, brandy glass in hand. Peruse these words, dear reader, and delve into one of the great minds of 90s indie music. 

Track 1. Comsat Angels (Missing in Action), a band I should have dug more at the time considering when their records started to show up at my local record shop and when I was at peak Anglo-worship mode. But they never left me wanting to hear more and then I went back to my Echo and The Bunnymen and Ruts LPs.. This track is hitting kind of nice right now, truth be told.

Track 2. The title isn't showing up but this sounds like TFLU 282. Now the singing has started and so my first guess seems wrong. Very clanged out guitar sound that hides the tunefulness. Miserable singer vibes too. Wonder if I already own this record? Oh it's Gordons! I have this on CD! Good for me! (Gordons-Spic n' Span)

Track 3. Hard to put across in mere words just how great the Soft Boys were at their zenith. And four part harmonies too? And while I think most rock lyrics are unfettered dreck, Robyn Hitchcock really had a gift of the lyrical gab (Soft Boys-Wey Wey Hep Uh Hole)

Track 4. I had some Bauhaus records when they first made their way to Boston but there was so much fashion baggage that went along with membership to the goth club. As their star kept ascending I was taking a hard left away from UK dance music. I came to realize later just how great some of those Bauhaus records were/are. (Terror Couple Kill Colonel)

Track 5. (Kleenex-Ain't You). Want to buy a Bridge might be the most influential record I've ever bought. This track remains a highlight amongst the flawless track listing. And talk about dope lyrics. And you just reminded me about the perfect gang vox!

Track 6. Flipper was another complete game changer for me. It doesn't sound nearly as slow as I probably thought it did in 1982 but the songs still reign supreme. One band all three members of Sebadoh could agree on. (Talk is Cheap)

Track 7. Basement 5 Who won me over at the time do a Christmas song? And it is fantastic? Did not see that coming...(The Last White Christmas)

Track 8. Kevin Ayers made one of my top five debut LPs of all time! Like easily. I scooped up the Odds and Ends LP back in the day and lo and behold; (Soon Soon Soon). Incredible guitar solo.

Track 9. The first band I flat out don't know. Late '70s early '80s new wavy angularity. Farfisa dance rock for the slump shoulder set circa 1981 (Happy Refugees-Hamburger Boy)

Track 10. Boston was a real TFLU282 stronghold for a while back then. I was lucky enough to co-interview them for Leslie Godfrey's pop watch fanzine. Such sweet folks. (Thinking Fellers Union Local 242-Hornet's Heart)

Track 11. Richard Davies what a character! This is one of his greatest songs right here. Assuming you've seen the incredible version with flaming lips from 1995? Do it, f****** pronto. No way I can start jotting down thoughts on the man that is RD. (Moles-What's the New Mary Jane?)

Track 12. Early MBV? Weird 50s style song structure with some fuzz for good measure. The vocals and lyrics are very trad for an MBV number. (My Bloody Valentine-Moonlight)

Track 13. another unknown to me band. A little like a less oblique Giant Sand when they were verging on grunge. That was a good period for that band. Sorry... I would probably dig this in some sweaty club. Well anywhere, really. Would seek out other music by (Hornet Leg-Gold Fire)

Track 14. I love Mirrors. That whole Cleveland 70s thing is the most unheralded thing In rock and roll history. Got to see Mirrors when that homestead CD came out in 1990(?) and they still had the goods. (Mirrors-Shirley)

Track 15. Never really followed Marc Riley's career after his Fall days were through. This is great so I might have to do some digging. Real jittery track...(Marc Riley-Judas Sheep)

Track 16. Another band that I just never got around to in my youth. I like how rickety it sounds but still keeps the song chugging forward. I found their music on Spotify (gasp) after reading an article on them in Ugly Things magazine. Applied knowledge! (Radiators from Space-Prison Bars)

Track 17. Alex Chilton (Hook or Crook) was such a big deal for me in the 1980s along with dozens of others like them. The man could do anything and out of morbid curiosity I had to hear it saw a few sets in the 80s that sure did piss off the Big Star heads!

Track 18. (Rock*a*Teens Down with People)! My sentiments exactly! Great muddy sound and a real desperation to the vox that is just swell. The band lives up to their rocking moniker.

Track 19. Wow this name rings no bell whatsoever. Mid-80s Scottish pop? Post-Pavement Belgium band circa 1993? Flying Nun band that's only on a comp that was never reissued? The world will never know...(Rote Kapelle-Jellystone Park)

Track 20. Really dug the Pink Section reissue on Superior Viaduct a few years back. Solid new wave that sends me right back to 1980 in a heartbeat. A total Gang of Four rip on the guitar solo. (Pink Section-Wine World)

Track 21. My wife turned me on to this era of Bowie. This tune in particular hitting that sweet spot like the Move have a tendency to do. And how in the hell did I not hear the complete hunky dory until 1997? Totally missed out...(David Bowie-Black Country Rock)

Track 22. Lucky to have seen La Peste a number of times opening for whatever UK band I was seeing. Real kings of the scene for a spell and they knew that if you only wrote great songs before breaking up early on yr legacy is sealed. (La Peste-Black)

Track 23. Just got this 45 again recently when a local DJ dumped his 45 collection at a store I frequent. This s*** sounds better to me now than it did back then. It kind of reminds me of a Boston version of the Boomtown Rats. (Pastiche-Boston Lullaby)

Track 24. Talk about a band that screwed the pooch on that first full-length. all of the demo rehearsal tapes have way more than the pro garbage. Never saw DMZ but by that time the Lyres started gigging around town I was all in! (DMZ-Go to School)

Track 25. Never heard the Del Byzanteens but ho! This has some real quality happening on the track. Good lyrics working off the twangy guitar and drums and percussion. Learn something everyday! (Del-Byzanteens-Welcome Machines)

Track 26. Maybe the most willfully cheery Monks number. When I start my stoned ramblings on first punk band The Monks are always in the mix. it's one of the great American stories in rock and roll history and f*** the singing on the end of this song is stellar! (The Monks-He Went Down to the Sea)

Track 27. Opal (and Clay Allison before that) made it plain to see that I was more of a Kendra Smith fan than a Steve Wynn head. Her voice is one of those that are only equaled by a choice view of a heavyweight vocalists like Sandy Denny and oh, you know, Bridget St. John etc. (Opal-Sailing Boats)

Track 28. Stephen, the Clean off-shoot band? Wish I hadn't sold that EP on Flying Nun back in the pre-911 days of eBay. In 20 years I sold about 16,000 things online and still have too much s***. But I digress. Will certainly relisten to Stephen. That David Kilgour just has the Midas Touch is all. (Stephen-Crystal)

Track 29. (The Chills-Dream by Dream) Don't know this one but I have not really heard anything post Soft Bomb so that's my bad. At first The Chills were my favorite Flying Nun band. The mix of morose and pop joy proved to be too much for me to resist in 1985. Wherever this track is from it's got that chills x factor.

Track 30. (3Ds-Sunken Head) More New Zealand shenanigans. I was getting their 45s and such as they made the track to the states back then. I have nothing but fond memories hanging with these folks on my one and only trip to New Zealand with Sebadoh. Be aware bands that own their own pub!

https://www.mixcloud.com/matthewkenneth9/bob-fay-mix/?fbclid=IwAR1ggSwYavA15ln1JHsUmqqR1z4IAeRxi4dh--AAMNw0YdlkcCfDojy3Qxk

[chaekkung]

o wormie? u? in a lot of love? perfect i don't think i've asked u yet but (if ur free) could u talk about why/how you started loving changkyun/hyungwon (or both :-D) ?? pls ramble as much as u like!! read more exists 4 a reason and . i love reading ppl b soft and in love it's cute!!!!! i love u have a good night/day ! 💛💛

o holy shit thats a lot ok im gonna write about changkyun since i Havent... :( and ill copy pasta one of my hyungwon essays for u to read!!!! the changkyun will be under it :^) this is gonna be Super Long im sorrie in advance LMAO BUT HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT TOO!!!! :D (also theres prob gonna be a lot of typos bc im Dumb but.. bear w/ me)

mister chae:

honestly i don’t even know where to start?? uhh i guess with his looks first since,, this is describing or smthing,, anyways yeah hyungwon is just… fucking beautiful. he has the most handsome and visually attractive face ive ever seen in my whole life??? and i’ve stanned a lot of groups in my past before but hyungwon is honestly one of the best looking man i know :( im not even being biased,,, anyways yeah there’s that. and he’s like naturally a model, i mean he can legit wear anything and do anything and he’ll look like he’s posing for a high end magazine, not surprised if he’s been modeling since he was like, born. also he has the most beautiful and endearing smile and laugh…. when he smiles he really goes from :o -> :D like!! please!! you are too fucking cute,,, :((( he really lights up the entire room solely w his smile im jusT?? wow?? like when his smile lines by the sides of his nose down to the corner of his mouth come out i just,,,, really… need 2 calm my heart. he has like the closed mouth wide smile, and the straight up whole face smile!! and i.. love both.. so much,,, and yeah anyways his lips are like the first thing people notice about him and big mood?? they’re so plump and … kissable.. and soft.. but my favorite feature on him are his eyes tbh…. idk he has really beautiful eyes? idk how to describe it but like, they’re so…. kind? and bright.. it’s just i want to look into them all day long and im just… so in love with his eyes. like,, they really hold all the stars in my universe wtf!!!  :( OH AND I DONT TALK ABOUT THIS ENOUGH BUT…. HIS EARS ARE SO FUCKING ADORABLE WTF I WANT A MOLD OF HIS EARS ON MY DESK,,, idk about others but i personally find his right ear cute as fuck?? like the extra folds in his ears.. i would d*e for them………. godksj why is everything about him so cute i just?? want to kno …

ok now im going to talk about him!!! so his personality, is what i really fell in love with,, (god this all sounds so.. cliche. but it’s.. true, also unrelated but every time someone talked about,, love cliches and shit i was always like ‘sounds fake’ but???? after hyungwon i really?? believe in all of that..) if i had to use one word to describe him it would just be ‘kind’… like he!!! is!!! the king of being considerate and compassionate and wonderful and he’s just a really good person.. :( he’s the one you can always count on and lean on. he’d always be on your side and makes you feel safe and comforted,, like he’s really full of love??? even the members said he’s a really good listener and they chose as him as someone they go to when they’re feeling down because he makes them feel better about the situation (god, i wish they were me,,) and he has the most beautiful heart… like, he’s been wearing the Sewol bracelet since as long as we’ve known and he has never missed a day. you can always see it during fansigns, vlives, whenever he’s out, and he even wore it when he was modeling under his clothes… :(( he went from the charm, to the rope bracelet thing, to the clip on and now he’s wearing the wristband!! :(((((( he says he will always wear it to remember the incident, and he has been for over two years… he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart and not to show anyone… he said he felt so helpless during the time, and watching every thing unfold before him, and has worn the yellow bracelet which symbolizes ‘hope’ :((((((((( god,, real emo hours,,, i love my angel so much wtf !!! ok next,, (sjdhaj at this point im going to write a whole novel wtf but im gonna,, stop soon i swear .) hyungwon is really fucking hardworking and ?? he’s so dedicated to his career and making sure that we, his fans, are always satisfied and proud to stan him.. like he’s constantly saying he will work hard to show us something better next time, that he’s not going to stop trying to improve himself. every single stage he puts his all into it, but he pushes himself even more to show us a even better one. he’s always worried and thinking about his career as an actor and a singer. he wants to promote the group in any way that he can, whether it’s through modeling or acting :(( what a King… he’s… really always striving to do the Best and he won’t ever settle or be content with it because he’s just naturally an ambitious and super hard working person… like. he’s so dedicated to what he does, no matter what it is. uhh one more thing he’s actually a really sentimental guy!! not like in a bad way, but in the best possible way. he’s really sweet, and gentle.. (he would be the Best Boyfriend,,, im just saying..) he’s the type to give handwritten letters… and surprise gifts.. (he said so!!) he said he cant cook but he want to cook for his gf he will try his best and it will be full of love… god.. i wish that were me. he’s the type to keep quiet… but take silently notes on what someone likes/dislikes, and will reveal it unexpectedly with a gift or when he says something and it will! make the other person! so happy! :((( he doesn’t put his emotions Out There, he’s not rlly good at it,, but he honestly has so much love in him,,, he tries his best to show it ok!! it’s,, good effort it’s so cute when he does… ah.. pls.,,, he’s always like ah, i don’t know if i can properly show my appreciation and sincerity for you guys, but i hope you guys know how thankful i am for you. LASDHFJAK GOFD,S,,,, IM FUCKIGN EMO THINKGIN ABOTU IT AGAIN… HE HAS A HEART OF GOLD AND HE’S SUCH A SWEETHEART I JUST WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE IT.. :(( HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND I REALLY HOPE ALL MY LOVE FOR HIM CAN COUNT AS SOMETHING FOR IT ALL.. UGHFJASHJSAALSJF yeah ok let me,,, stop… sorry to everyone who has to scroll past this LMAo,, :(

ok i was gonna stop but i forgot to mention how he’s so fucking talented!! i mean this boy does it ALL. the whole package or w/e. god,, i love my whole ass talented man wtf! he sings, dances, choreographs, models, acts, DJs, is multilingual, and a world class poet,, cmon. ANYWAYS he excels in all those areas nd,, no argument there.. his voice is angelic as fuck ,, just like his personality.. and his dancing.. god,,, like . his dancing his so on point, his every move,, and it’s so.. fluid.. and natural. and it’s harder for tall people to dance esp ones w like long ass limbs (hyungwon.,,) but he still looks fucking amazing and pulls everything off so perfectly????? gofdj,,, can he like . Stop being so…. perfect.. and lovable… :((( he just puts so much passion into everything he does!!! and his heart is pure Gold ,, i just.. love him,,,,,,, everything about him …. ok lmao let me stop !!! if u actually read all this wtf,, im sorry nd i’d die for u

mister changkyun:

okay wtf icb i havent talked about changkyun that much on my blog.... anyways this is gonna be a mess and unorganized bc im Dumb but here goes,,, ok we can start from the beginning kinda,, so originally wonho was my #2 bias and then mh i think like i love changkyun but i wasnt like IN LOVE you kno?? honestly i started to notice him more firstable bc he and hyungwon are so frigging cute together?? i just couldnt ignore it and next thing u know im IN Love w my lil koala :(((( hes sO CUTE ..... LIKE.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT I REALLY JUST WANNA BE AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME!! his sense of humor and his personality in general is so?? positive?? and fun??!!! like i would spend every second of the rest of my life w him... and he’s so cheesy as we all know ,, and i find it so cute but also he makes me so stressed bc he’s so mushy aijsdgfhdjs but he rlly Love us wtf.. and hes so funnie... he makes me smile and laugh all the time :( and he genuinely Loves every single one of his fans so much... he’s so sweet with them and he makes them feel so loved and special, and like they’re the only person in the world at that moment :(((( this boy gives so much love and i only want to give him a million times more back... 

HIS LAUGH.. OK.. HIS LAUGH!!!!!! MAKES MY HEART MELT LIKE LAVA WTF SJDFUDJS HES SOSOSOSOOS CUTE WHEN HE LUAHGS HE LIKE.. PUTS HIS ALL INTO IT.. IT SLIKE HAHAHAHA FR... PLS,,, ESP WHEN HE GOES CRAZY AND ALSO STARTS CLAPPING,... LMAO MOOD.. HE SOS CUTIEJUJIiajsdfudj and WHEN HE SMILES THE CLOSED-MOUTH-WIDE-SMILE AND HIS CUTE ASS DIMPLES COME OUT.... HOTLT FUCKIDUFD THERE GOES MY SOUL AND GALLONS OF HEART NUT... ITS THE CUTEST SIGHT IN THE WORLD AHHH HIS DIMPLE ARE ADORABLE AND HIS CHEEKS!! I WANT TO SQUISH!!! i wanna . reside in his dimples. build a home there and alll....... omg.. :’(( every time he takes a selfie or smthing i rlly Lose it. every single selfie is his Best selfie. wtf.... king of angles fr... AND KING OF FOOT SELFIES TOOOSJFDK LLISTEN AGAIN HES SOSOOSOSO HANDSOME AND GOOD LOOKING OKAY!!! HES REALLY A VISUAL?? IDK HOW PEOPLE CANT SEE IT BUT LIEK THIS BOY IS F  I  N E ..... HIS FACE IS SO BEAUTIFUL AHHHhhhHHHHH  AND HE NEVER HAD A BAD ERA.. HE WAS HOT SINCE NO MERCY WTF !!!!! UGJFSUJDJS I HOPE HE KNOWS HES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! :( ANF HIS BEAUTIFUL NOSE,, AND HIS EYES!!!! OGM!!,,, GOD AND HIS PERFECTLY SHAPED LIPS.... HSI JAWLINE,,, BITUCSHJ,,,

OK HES SO LOVABLE IN EVERY DAMN WAY LIKE,, he’s Weird but its a cute Weird he’s so special omg there’s really no one else like him :(((( like...... he’s a treasure fr... he’s So Many things and once its hard to pinpoint his personality but like ??? i love it so much?? he’s a mystery and i dont know what he’s thinking like most of the time but.. i rlly love him omgdsj he’s so special :’( like fr !!! everyone LOVES him!! :(( most people wouldnt see him as the maknae if they dont Know,, but like he really is... and he’s really mx’s babie :-( they spoil him so much and love the heck out of him,,, he’s really the most loved maknae out there wtf... honestly... i love family... they really Adore him so much ugh what a big ass fking MOOD! :((

AND HIS VOICE!!!!! THE VOICE OF THE HEAVENS AND ANGELS AND HAPPINESS AND ALSO NUT!!!! WTF!! HIS VOICE IS SO SEXY AJSDFGDUJIS LIKE... PLEASE... NARRATE THE BIBLE TO ME HOLY FUCKSIFDU, YOU KNOW HIS VOICE ONLY V LIVE... HOLY SHIT MY EARS NUTTED SO HARD omg.... i just wanna listen to his voice All Day.... and dont even get mee started on his rapping .... he starts his bar and sets me on fucking fire w half a syllable . and did i mentioned he fucking amazing at rapping yeah . he Does That. and hes so charismatic, especially on stage... :((( ugh omgfisjd i wanan d*e when hes being so h*t on screen fucksdf,,, and like . his mixtapes he’s working on... king... pleas.e.... End me. just end me with ur talented ass wtf... 

SIJDFJD I NEED TO SHUT UP BUT LISTEN IM SO PROUD OF HOW MUCH HE’S GROWN IN THE PAST 2+ YEARS... LIKE HE’S COME SO FUCKING FAR!!!!! IN SO MANY WAYS!!!!!!!! GOD,,,,, I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO DAMN MUCHSJIDFUDS HE MAKES MY HEART CONTINUE BEATING... THATS REALLY MY BABIE !! MY FUCKING CINNAMON APPLE!!! :(((((((((((

ok let me stop thank u,,, also... if anyone actually made it here hi wow uh ur great ily wtf :--(

[scoutshonor56]

KWID DOH NO!

Our Kartoon Prezident

 Well, as year #3 of this torn and frazzled, circle-the-wagons administration comes to a close, it’s time to look back and reflect on the Little King’s record thus far.  After all, “some” say he’s the greatest president since Lincoln, maybe even better!  Well, OK, he does anyway… Oh Little Donny, you are one for the history books, you’re certainly right about that!

 In the short span of three years in office, due to your ego, stupidity, and gullibility, you’ve made our country a punchline and a bad joke to the rest of the free world.  You’ve soured relations with pretty much all the major democratic nations of both hemispheres and it’s become abundantly obvious that you prefer the company of despots and dictators, because they curry your favor and feed your ego while playing you for a sucker and a clueless rube.  You play international diplomacy not like a shrewd card shark, but someone who still gets confused when playing “Go Fish”.

 While your own top advisors, the CIA, and our National Security team strongly suggested you throw in the 4 and the 7 and take two cards, you said, “But I asked them, and they said they got nothing – I’m betting it all on what I have!”

 Did Putin rig the 2016 election?  “I asked him, he said no…”

 Does Kim Jong-un intend to stop his nuclear proliferation? “I asked him, he said yes…”

 Did Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman order the killing, dismemberment and disappearance of Washington Post columnist, Jamal Khashoggi?  “I asked him, he said no…”

 It’s just a theory of mine, but I suspect that you find the intricacies of democracy waaay too complicated; too much reading!  Whereas in Russia and N. Korea, it pretty much boils down to “the supreme leader makes the rules, and if you don’t like it, tough shit.” – see?  Simple is good!  

 Fuck it, what do my own hand-picked Intelligence team know anyways?  They didn’t write my best seller, “Art of the Deal”!  They lack my incredible business insight and my sharply honed negotiating skills; my intuitive judgement of character!  

 No argument there Mr. Prezident… well, except for the six former associates, cabinet appointees, and campaign advisors now spending their holiday in prison for a few minor offenses like tax evasion, campaign finance violations, lying to Congress under oath, lying to the FBI, conspiracy against the United States, obstruction of Congress, and witness tampering… oh, and your revolving door of high level appointees and cabinet members who pass through the White House like the line at a drive-thru McDonalds, or a frantic, rookie coach trying to stabilize his list of starting players as they drop one game after another on their way to another losing season.

 As a matter of fact, you’ve had more turnovers during your first three years at the helm than any other previous first term president during their entire four-year term - many of them replaced multiple times!  

 Hey, I get it – shit happens when you’re a “stable genius” big-time finance wizard like yourself, who built a huge casino in New Jersey primarily financed with junk bonds, ran it into the ground, stiffed all the construction contractors and workers out of millions, and turned Atlantic City into a ghost town.  

 Oops, well, and there are those six bankruptcy filings while you were in the private sector… and the bogus Trump “University” scam that you quietly had to settle out of court before taking the oath of office to run the country, paying out $25 million to the students (dupes) who showed up one day only to find the front doors locked and a sign taped to the glass…

 Oh, and the Trump “Charity” organization, which was recently sued by the New York Attorney General and found guilty of misuse of funds, funneling millions toward your election campaign and paying off business debts… oh, and the purchase of a huge $60K vanity portrait to hang in one of your exclusive country clubs. The “Charity” foundation was ordered liquidated and $2 million was dispersed among actual, non-affiliated charities… Whadda guy, am I right!?  A true philanthropist, with a heart as pure and genuine as his hair!

 Well, OK, but that’s all dollars under the bridge, now you’re in the BIG chair, running the whole show – how’s that federal deficit coming, the big hole in our national budget that in your 2016 campaign you promised to fill in eight years? Yikes!  Lotta shoveling still needed there, better roll up the sleeves, put down the golf clubs and get to work; looks like the federal deficit for this past year surged 26% from 2018 to $985 billion, and the Congressional Budget Office projects it will top a record breaking $1 trillion next year, primarily due to your 2017 tax cuts that overwhelmingly benefit the rich and mega-rich.  

 Speaking of golf, let’s return again to 2016 and your campaign rhetoric:

 “If I am president I'm not going to play much golf, because there's a lot of work to be done... Obama went golfing every day. 'Little Obama, go play golf every day.' He's played more than most PGA touring professionals play... I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to go play golf."

 You leave me speechless. There are whoppers and then there are WHOPPERS!  And we all know your whoppers are triple beef patty and cheese, hold all the green and tomato, extra bacon!  This past weekend, down in Par-a-Lago, you teed up for your 251st game at – of course - one of your own exclusive resorts.  Yup, the president of the United States owns twelve courses across the U.S., three in Europe, and one in the Middle East, with three others still under construction. You even wanted to hold the 2020 G7 Summit at your exclusive resort in Miami until your own party members quietly suggested, ahem, this might not go over too well with the rabble… could be seen as gratuitous and self-promoting.  

 You know, it’s not everyone who can get elected to president of the United States even after tapes are uncovered of him saying ten years prior to running, “Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

 Damb!  J.F.K., Bill Clinton, sit down you amateurs!  You nervous, pimple-faced freshman at your first high school dance trying to cop a sweaty feel!  Donny was putting it to a well-known porn star just a year after his third marriage and just months after the birth of their first child, Barron.  His longtime personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, pleaded guilty to eight federal crimes, including making illegal contributions to the Trump campaign on the same day he admitted cutting a $130,000 to said porn star (AKA Stormy Daniels) to buy her silence before the election.

“I did not have sex with that woman.”  Oh, those were such innocent times, the ‘90’s!  A little hanky-panky with an intern, a cum stained blue dress… To date, Trump has 25 allegations of sexual misconduct against him, and those are just the women who came forward.

 I could go on and on… and on, but let’s stay with the big picture, the broad brush strokes for now, and start to bring this sordid summary to a close.  So, you’re the champion of coal and the petrochemical industry, and the chief spokesperson for the nostalgic days of big, gas guzzling cars.  You get a hard-on whenever you see a tank, sparking fantasies of military parades down our streets, you’re a climate change denier, think wind energy is produced by windmills that give you cancer, and are the Darth Vader to renewable energy in any shape or form.  Your target list also includes endangered wildlife and protected federal land and you are quickly closing in on 100 rollbacks (95) of any current environmental regulations.  You’ve essentially turned the EPA into a paper lion with missing teeth, a bunch of token federal workers down the hall who may as well show up whenever they feel like it, take long lunches, spend their days web surfing, and punch out around 3:00 for all the good they can do under your watch.

 Wow, what an impressive resume!  We haven’t even touched on the constant barrage of lies and fanciful fabrications that spill out of your mouth daily like food spray, the daily policy “briefings” conducted by Fox News, the obsessive tweeting, the complete blurring of truth and fact, the drastic rise of nationalistic, racist hate crimes over the last three years, the rambling conspiracy theories, the child-like pettiness and immaturity, the juvenile name calling and belittling, the paranoia, the preening and neediness of a textbook narcissistic sociopath…

 And now, to cement your place in the annals of history you’ve graduated to being only the third sitting U.S. president to face an impeachment hearing - bravo Mr. Prezident, bravo!  You sir are indeed one for the books!  A true piece of work never before seen, or even imagined, in our 224 years of American politics, and I salute you!  

 You let him in the game America; you wanted him, you got him! I can’t wait for the next four seasons of everyone’s favorite reality show, “Little Donny’s Playhouse!”.  And if his mentally blunt and rabid fans have anything to say about it, afterwards it will go into re-run syndication for years and years to come!

  HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE, smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!

[allzeeships]

You got Vulcan married?!?

One of my first spirk fanfics (also posted on archive ^.^) 

Hope you enjoy :D

It had been a long morning for Kirk, and everybody knew something was up when he showed up before Spock. The crew grew even more worried when Spock showed up three minutes late. They all shared looks of concern, and tried not to look to shocked at the fact that Spock actually looked tired. They were only traveling today so at least that was good.

Things were pretty silent for about an hour until Jim dropped his padd, and looked back at Spock. The whole room blinked at the noise, but knew better then to say anything. “Chekov...can you come over here for a minute?” Kirk asked taking his eyes off of Spock, and rubbed his own back trying to get rid of tension. Usually he'd ask Spock, but he wasn't in the mood to be good.

Chekov ran over in a hurry, and smiled down at his captain with his hands behind his back. “Vhat can I do for you keeptin?”

Kirk leaned forward a bit, and lifted up his shirt exposing the bottom of his back where the pain was. “My back is killing me. I just need you to rub it for me.” He saw the hesitation in chekov's face before he even spoke.

“Isn't that usually Mr.Spock's job?” If one thing cCekov knew for sure it was that Spock didn't like people touching Kirk in ways he consider intimate, but did he count back rubbing..

“Well yes, but I want you to do it.” The bond was quiet, but he took a quick glance at Spock noting the way he had one hand clenched in his lap. If spock wanted to deny the thing he did earlier he will just have to prove him wrong.

“Very vell keeptin.” He prayed that spock wouldn't tear his arm off, or something worse he didn't want to imagine. As he put his hand on the captain's he just waited to be attacked.

“Oh yeah...mmm. You have magic hand's Chekhov.” He tried to make the sounds as obscene, and loud as possible. “ Ohhhh right there. A little harder.” Truthfully Chekov only had his hand laying on his back, but he was playing it up a little.

Chekov was confused since he wasn't even moving his hand

Uhura had been keeping her eye on Spock this whole time, and besides kirk she could read him the best. Ignoring what was going on at the captain's chair she went over to Spock. “Is everything okay Spock?” She watched the way his hand was now clenching the chair turning white.

“Uhura return to your station. Spock is fine. Aren't you Spock?” Kirk said without even looking in that direction, and leaned in to Chekhov telling him he could go now.

“Yes the captain is right. I am fine.” Uhura just huffed. “fine has many variables.” She shot a look at the two. “I said return your station uhura.” With another huff she rolled her eyes, and walked off going back to her station.

Things fell quiet again, but crew was actually wishing the two weren't having problems at this point. Everyone was too afraid too say anything, or move to much. With them just traveling the day was becoming quite boring. Another couple hours went by, and bones stopped by to give Jim a hypo for his allergies.

“BONES! My favorite person, and guy!” Jim practically skipped to bones, and wrapped his arm around his shoulder getting uncomfortably close. he searched the room for any help until he got to the hobgoblin. Right away he knew their was something going on between the two. This two just loved to give him headaches.

“I just came to give your hypo..” He stopped talking when he felt Jim rubbing his biceps.

“Wow bones. Have you been working out? It seems your arms could just bust out of your tunic.” He leaned in, and sniffed bones. That is the exact moment bones stabbed him with the hypo, and shrugged him off. “God dammit Jim are trying to get the hobgoblin to murder someone.” He turned to where bones was pointing, Spock was now standing up with a glare that could make someones spine tingle. His hands behind his back, but Jim could see how tense his muscles were.

“He won't hurt anyone, because apparently Vulcan's don't get jealous. Spock doesn't care who I touch, or someone touches me. He only cares about my safety.” After that the crew knew the breaking point was coming, and even bones couldn't get himself to turn away from it. “I am safe right now.”

Jim motioned over the young, blonde, and tall ensign. Giving her his best Kirk smile. “Would you go get me some coffee beautiful?” When the ensign didn't answer Kirk grabbed her hand bringing it up to his mouth. At that exact moment a look of horror crossed the poor girl's face, and a growl sounded out behind him.

“I advise you too halt that action Jim.” A collective gasped filled the room since Spock rarely called Jim on the bridge as it was unprofessional. Jim hadn't even looked over yet, but he could her the daggers in the words. He knew Spock so well that he was acutely aware of how angry he was. That is what he was aiming for. He was still holding the ensign's hand as he turned to Spock.

“Oh do you now? Why is that Spock? I am obviously in no danger.” He put his attention back to the lady. “Obviously your not going to hurt me except for maybe my eye sight, because your skin is so radiant.” Never had the crew seen a woman look more scared to be in Kirk's presence. He did let the woman's hand go though when the bond opened back fully for a moment taking him by surprise. It was only for a second during a waver in Spock's control, but he heard what he had wanted too. “I knew it you were jealous, and you are jealous right now! “ The bond opened again, and Spock attempted to talk to him that way.. “oh no you don't! You growled at the ambassador yesterday at a peace dinner which I'm not upset about it. I'm actually quite thankful since he was handsy, but you lied to me. Always trying to give me that Vulcan's don't lie, and Vulcan don't do this bullshit. Well they sure as hell bend the truth, or skirt around You're half human spock, and I shouldn't have to get you angry to open up to me. Now don't take that the wrong way, because I accept you just as you are. It's just you shouldn't be ashamed of being part human. After all your bond mate is one of them...Sulu you have the chair I'm going to go get coffee.” Without another word Kirk stormed out not even realize the little bit of information he had thrown out on accident at the end.

Spock immediately followed, but bones stopped him “You, and Jim are Vulcan married?” A look of complete shock as on bone's face.

A curt nod as he was using all of his control not to as human say lose it “Yes Leonard as of 2.5 months ago today. Now if you'll excuse me I must get to Jim. We may discuss this later.”

Bones rolls his eyes, and moves out the way “Yeah yeah go get em, and I expect you both at the med-bay later. I'll get the alcohol ready since I'm sure I'll need it.” Spock nodded once more then made a quick exit.

“Incredible Jim married the hobgoblin.” He said to himself while leaving the bridge. Yeah he really needed to get the whiskey out.

Bones had barely made it back to med-bay which was empty now, but he had some paperwork to do when the door swished open revealing Jim. This is not what he signed up for when he joined star fleet.

“Jim. Shouldn't be working things out with your husband?” Damn that sounded weird to say. The second Jim's face dropped in to an angry pout bones groaned, and opened up a cabinet pulled out his bottle of whiskey with two glasses. Slamming in the counter he just waited for Jim to speak. Filling both glasses he held one out to Jim. “Here. Drink up . It'll make you feel better.”

“No. Thank you bones.” Kirk ran a hand through his air pulling at the end. Then brought the same hand down to his left hand twirling the gold band around on his finger. He saw bones eyeing it, and let out an awkward laugh. “Oh...umm...we usually don't wear them since no one knew, but I let the cat out of the bag. Spock's is actually on a necklace so it wouldn't bother his sensitive h..” Catching himself rambling he cleared his throat. “and No I shouldn't. I don't want to talk to him right now.” He sat in the chair in front of bone's desk, and crossed his arms.

“Well isn't that a mature way to handle your problems. I told you marriage isn't a walk in the park Jim. Not that I'm the best person to get advice from when it comes to that subject.” He grabbed the glass he poured for Jim, and brought it too his own lips taking a drink.

“And Spock was being mature?” Kirk threw his hands in the air “He made the ambassador's guard wet himself. I kid you not then he tried too say it was for my safety, and the touching was and I quote “Not concerning since Vulcan's do not get jealous.” Oh yes, because lunging at an ambassador during a dinner, because he is a little grabby is totally normal.” He let out a huff, and grabbed the glass from bones had finishing it. Just as the glass was empty the door swished open again revealing Spock.

“Leonard.” He acknowledged the doctor then turned to his bond mate, and had to fight hard not to show his discomfort in from of Leonard. “Jim. When you are done may I have a word with you?” He stayed standing by the door his eyebrow raising at Leonard as he watched him squinting at the two tapping his glass.

Kirk sat down the empty glass, and signaled bone's to fill it up. “Now you want to talk. Real rich coming from the guy who kept shrugging me off for almost twenty four hours.”

“I did not shrug you off Jim. I was just simply not fully aware of some certain things, and if you would just stop being so irrational we could speak about them.” Bone's actually dropped his glass in surprise, and couldn't believe Spock could be that dumb to say that to Jim of all people. He saw Jim was about to snap back, but he had lost his patience. “That's it! Out! You will both head to one of your quarters, and work this out. Doctor's orders, and you are not allowed leave until you do.” Neither of them moved, and he grunted getting up. “Go now, or I'm doing both of your physical's early. You two love each other, or you wouldn't have gotten married so get out of my med-bay.” They both finally got up. Kirk leaving before Spock, and as soon as they did bones collapsed back in to his chair rubbing his temples. Despite his forming headache he really did hope the two idiots worked it out.

In the captain's quarter where Spock, and Jim have been cohabiting for months now. The door swooshed open as Jim walked in removing his boot's, and threw on across the room making clank. He stood up just as Spock came in “I'm the irrational one! Really Spock? You could of cost us big time the way you behaved at that dinner. Luckily the understood you were my mate. Once again that's not what I'm upset about. It's the fact that you fight so hard about saying how you feel. Vulcan's feelings run deep, and human's run on them so you have no excuse to be such an asshole. You should be able to tell me anything.”

Going back a few minutes

Spock is following behind his husband, his Jim taking calculated footsteps so he still gives Jim his space, but is also still near him. The walk to their shared quarter seemed longer even though logically Spock knew it was the same distance as always. The shame he had felt when he upset Jim at the dinner, because he couldn't keep his emotions in control had taken him by surprise. It had all happened in a blur, and he didn't have all the answers yet for Jim when it first happen. Which resulted in to this disagreement. After spending most of the early morning meditating, and doing some thinking while Jim was sleeping he had came to a conclusion. It also why for only the second time in his life he felt as humans would say dead tired.

After Jim's last word's Spock swallowed “You were correct in your assumption that I was in fact jealous, and in most situations I would of just told you this. It was the level of how jealous I was that caught me off guard. The feelings I have for you go beyond anything I could of ever imagined.

Jim sucked on his bottom lip, and he could hear the hitch in spock's voice. He could tell how sincere he was, but the bond was still quiet. “We have been together for over a year now. What changed?”

“We got married. That was the first night since we finished the bonding I had to share you with others besides our crew. I didn't notice how much deeper our connection has grown since the ceremony. I know I do not say it often in these words, but I love you Jim. It did hit me at a most opportune time the amount of which I love you, but I promise from now on I will do my best too express myself. The dinner attack shall never happen again. I am sorry I am not better at this.”

Jim laughed at the adorable man in front of him, and in an instance all that anger he held felt all day just melted away. His face broke out in a smile, and he put his hand out signaling for a Vulcan kiss. With Spock's fingers against his he spoke “That was perfect babe. Everyone gets jealous, and you can defend me like that if it is needed so don't say never. We can even make up some kind of Jim is in distress signal. I love you too you know. I fall more in love with you everyday, and I hate fighting. So let's try to keep it at a minimum okay?”

Spock actually heaved a sigh of relief, and brought his arm's around his T' hy' La so he was against his chest. “I do not enjoy fighting other Ashayam, but I must request you never again let Chekov rub your back. That is my job just as he said.”

Nuzzling in to his husband chest Kirk smiled. “He didn't even move his hand. I think he was too afraid you would rip his arm off.”

“The thought did cross my mind, but he is a friend. Logically I know he is no threat, but you are mine to manhandle.”

“Oh that's sound kinky my dear husband.” As soon as he said that Spock picked him up bridal style, and tossed him on the bed. He knew it was his way of proving the point that only he was allowed to touch him in such ways.

“I will show you Kinky when we wake up, but first we both need some sleep. I did not sleep well, and I can feel you are tired as well. ”

“I like that plan.” In less then ten minutes they were both cuddled up fast asleep on their bed the day forgotten. The next day the crew actually clapped when the two kissed each other before going to their separate station's. Chekov almost cried when he saw Spock giving the captain a shoulder massage. He even leaned over, and whispered to Sulu “Zey made up!: Next week the crew was planning to throw them a wedding shower, because damn it they were family. It was bones idea, but shush that's his secret.