#...Should I tag this as 'Which Partner'?
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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#loveless aro#loveless#non-partnering#nonpartnering#non partnering#nonamorous#aplatonic#enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less āyou're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in loveā#more āyou're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself liveā#more āthere is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.ā#maybe I should write this story#and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too#while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about#telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too#it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends#i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes#not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love#some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.
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I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peetaās feelings for her. Itās a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when heās crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.
But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.
Itās one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.
(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesnāt refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. Iāve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but sheās not. Sheās parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because sheāll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)
But Galeās phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because sheās subconsciously aware of Galeās efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.
With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) Itās all framed with calculated survival in mind. But itās also not something she had planned in the future at any point.
But Peetaās children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if itās not with her.)
This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peetaās baby as her own. And I donāt think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, itās just youād be more protective of your own child compared to someone elseās. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person whoās equipped to look after a kid. She doesnāt express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthroneās safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesnāt think of Galeās child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.
#Iām just rambling#sorry if itās obvious from the get-go#but I just realized the whole Baby+marriage and Peeta is Katniss dragging her issues with Gale into her relationship with Peeta š¤£#I donāt want to be mean#but Katniss does not give a shit about Gale being a father#sheās all like- yeah go find a partner#but I still want my hunting buddy#but Peeta???#he should be a father (says nothing about finding another woman) and his baby deserves safety#she also doesnāt mention jealous with Peeta#but does with Gale (I wouldnāt be jealous. but me hunting partnerā¦)#which yeah#she plans on dying#but she also blocks out the topic of another woman completely#because I think it would make her sad/jealous#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#not tagging Gale lmao
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oh yeah also jayvik are extremely orpheus and eurydice coded i don't make the rules
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce x viktor#you mightve guessed that ive been listening to the hadestown soundtrack again recently#but anyways. jayce going back over and over and failing in timeline after timeline in the hopes that maybe this time. maybe just this once#he'll succeed and get his partner back#viktor putting the whole of his faith and trust in jayce that jayce will come back for him even though he fails again and again#but still viktor cannot imagine not believing in jayce one more time#the way the entire universe hangs in the balance of their bond oh man#i feel like jayvik is beyond categorization they're like the peak of classical romance which is not necessarily kisses and dating etc#but like the purest form of intimacy and affection. or something#i should write a fic abt this#anyways . idk . im a big fan of meljayvik so mel fits in here SOMEWHERE i just havent figured it out yet#if you made it to the bottom of this wall of tags here's a pie š„§
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love love love how similar these two panels are. makes me insane
#putting my ramblings in the tags because thatās the only way i know how to write something semi cohesive#but!! im obsessed with the way the arrangement is almost the same#both shirase and dazai in the middle. behind them the people theyāre leading#but shirase (the one chuuya shouldāve been able to trust) is pointing a gun at him#and not only shirase all the sheep are holding weapons#plus all the faceless GSS men staring chuuya down as well#and then you have dazai and the port mafia#same arrangement but theyāre not holding any weapons#despite the way they should be his enemies theyāre not posing any immediate threat#also!! something i just thought about but i do believe thereās something to be said about how dazai is also looking down on chuuya#he is the one holding the power right now#but he is not standing and instead crouching down#if he wasnāt on an elevated position (which is arguably his position in the mafia) he would be on the same level as chuuya#but he is offering chuuya to get on the same level as him by joining the mafia!!!#finally giving him the chance to be somewhere people will treat him as an equal#and of course eventually becoming dazais partner and true equal#man. head in hands media analysis is my passion. or something like that#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd fifteen#bsd fifteen spoilers#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#soukoku
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Thereās no way Jayce came out of the fucking Infection Dimension perfectly healthy except for his leg (and his mental health)
He had an open wound on his back before he even went in!! and then the one we saw on his leg! (which was broken in fucking half!!) like did yāall see how thick the fog was?? He was breathing that shit in for months!! That man was probably dying!!!
#we should have seen him take a pause in his speech to cough for like thirty minutes#what kind of fucked up cocktail of gas was in that fog bro#like The Gray and every other drug smog gas from the factoryās mixed together with fucking magic#how much crazier would the Jayvik parallels be if Jayce had coughed up blood at some point#still crying over how much weight he lost#my babyā¦#did he even get to see his mom before he and Vik disappeared?#did he get to hug her?#tell her he was sorry and that he loved her?#did she get to make him his first hot meal in months?#did she hold him while he cried?#did she even know he was back before he was gone again?#imagine being Ximena and your son shows up at your door after being missing for months over half a year#and heās lost weight his hair is grown and unkempt and heās covered in scars and he has a brace on his leg which is clearly injured#and he cries in your arms when you hug him like he hasnāt since he was seven#and you tell him to come in to eat to tell you what happened and if heās okay and he tries but none of it really makes since to you except#the grief. the grief you can understand you lost your partner after all you know what that kind of grief looks like#and after youāve feed him and held him and took care of him he leaves again to try and save his partner and then you never see him again#and youāll never know what happened to him and his partner#but all you can hope for was that he was able to save him and where ever they are their together#I am spiraling over Ximena Talis right now in the tags of my mostly jokey post#I love the Talisā so much#jayce talis#ximena talis#Iām tagging her because of the tags#it is 11 at night I have a cold and I am spiraling about the Talisā right now#and just like Jayce should have been I am coughing like thereās no tomorrow
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#(edit: it's been found thank you! original tags preserved below)#I cannot for the life of me find one specific reaction image and its source post#the one where the person is coming to in a hospital bed after a surgery#and they try to eat their own fist#and get stopped#and make big wibbly confused crying faces#it's smooth line images interspersed with text#does anyone have it?#cuz that 'š„ŗ???' was me most of the day and I wanted the image so I could convey it#but I Couldn't Find It#and neither my wife nor my best friend have any idea what image I'm talking about#so they can't help#(my partner isn't very online so there's no point asking them lol)#do any of y'all have it pls#I want the original post but I can't even find the standalone reaction image which should be enough to find the post#I've found one iteration of someone drawing their oc in the meme format and that's as far as I got even with as much as I remember about it#favorites
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Shavuli !
She's just. Into rocks. It's fine. She likes to collect shiny rocks. (this is dice related and I am not apologizing for giving her this trait)
#my characters#not me being anxious about what if my buddy doesnt like the blue fae hahahahaha#also you have to realize that it took a lot of energy to refrain from drawing absolutely wild shit bc i played 20mins of an otome#and it was wild and my brand of wild and if i didnt take so much to help me sleep last night i woulda played more#one person got the play by play and its SUCH A trip and i should play more than 20 minutes before drawing for it#but anyway hello this is an oc and i tried so hard with various colors other than yellow but i didnt like the contrast as much#so yellow splashes as a treat#also she is much more rounded bc she isnt intent on being the edgiest fae alive (noll has those honors)#also since i mentioned it while i started doodling her on stream ? its worth noting that the games the fae start#are like extreme tag where they get a human partner roped into their game and then give the humans a nice lil present#which is a weapon but its also the fae themselves#and are like yeah lets go kick butt! and someone in the stream asked if the humans got hurt#and the answer is no ! because the weapons are the fae and the fae dont wanna be hurt so as long as they have fun thats enough#its just an elaborate game of tag with weapons#shavuli becomes a lance if anyone is interested and thats not actually inspired by my buddy i just#think lances are cool and i think my buddy is cool so yeah
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The fanon interpretation of Vox and Valentino's relationship really is just Satan and Saddam Hussein in South Park huh.
#which I don't think is necessarily wrong?#but I DO think there's one key difference: Vox hits back#like obvs u should leave ur partner if they start hitting u even if you can fight back#but I just don't think Vox is as powerless in this situation as fans initially thought he would be lol#which means their relationship will probably end up more on the āfun to watchā side of the toxic scale#that one dynamic where they just shove two shitty guys together not bcuz they work but bcuz theyd be a fuckin trainwreck y'know?#either way I still think Vox should dump him :)#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin valentino#staticmoth#south park#sp satan#I am not. I am not tagging this as Saddam Hussein. I refuse.#I don't have a tag for early morning ramblings so Im just gonna use the late night one#cuz tHIS IS MY BLOG I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!#late night ramblings
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Day two - encyclopedia
#disco elysium#de#de skills#skilltober#skillstober#I should uhhhh figure out that tag if Iām gonna keep doing these#anyway my partner said encyclopedia reminds him of when youāre really hung over and your brain keeps telling you useless things#which isā¦unfortunatelyā¦.relatable#de encyclopedia
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idk if i ever got around to just commenting how strange it was that juto and rei swapped palettes in their bp outfits but itās strange that they did lol and now we got juto straight up wearing his blazer the way rei wears his fur coat in the mtc album art
and now iām really wondering if there was more to those duos in the block party lol
#vee queued to fill the void#like iām SURE iāve rambled at least about ramuda and saburo somewhere#but what i had been thinking about with rei and juto was the fact that they are both conmen using a higher power for their own benefit#i canāt remember which itās in itās either in uncrushable or in an mtc song i think#but juto has a verse where he goes āiām the og gangsterā and bc of that verse#iāve been hc that juto was a member of the yakuza himself if not a street gangster before his dead partner swept him off his feet lol#like juto is not a cop bc he likes the force heās a cop as means for an end to create his ideal world#very similarly to rei lol he played the long game with chuuoku not from a place that believes in what chuuoku stands for#(tho iām sure at some point it could have been like that lol)#heās using them and everything he has to create the world he wants to see#and iāve been wondering with this album set being callbacks to their og solos musically#(nagosakaās tho SHOULD be callbacks to their 2nd solos which is v important for this next tag in the tag vomit lol)#bsb and count the money are in the blues genre so theoretically awake and whateverās reiās next solo will have the same genre#jiro and kuukou should both have rock solos what iām saying is that the bp pairs are also connected by the music lol#i just canāt tell if itās deeper than a hint for shared music genres lol
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When youāre reading the latest chapter of @coffeebananaās awesome fic everything i know (brings me back to us) and suddenly realize that Marinette lying about Gabe to Adrien at the end of S5 is just a repeat of the scarf incident in S1:
#miraculous ladybug#ml s5 spoilers#marinette dupain-cheng#adrien agreste#adrienette#ml fic#ladrien#<- this tagās for the fic which yāall should definitely read!#but both times are just mari hiding the truth from adrien to perpetuate the belief that his father cares about him#which really highlights how her perspective on adrien has not changed in any substantial way since origins#aka adrien is still a damsel to be protected rather than a partner to be relied upon#proving further how central a reveal/ladynoir is to produce a healthy love square dynamic!#in this essay i will
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Please infodump about the JayTimSteph Grotesquerie AU WIP if possible.
OF COURSE i've been thinking about it since i saw the trailer and now it's a little brainworm. (disclaimer i've not watched the first two episodes yet, this is like. solely on the vibes of the trailer. some details might change once i. watch the show depending on if i follow it or just go with the vibes the trailer gave me. which also means there will be no spoilers for the show if you care about that.)
the current idea involves Detective!Tim, Nun!Steph, and Priest!Jason. the vague idea for the plot so far is that a serial killer leaves a *very* artful display of a crime scene inside of the church that Jason and Steph operate out of. Tim is assigned as the leading detective on the case and ends up in a relationship with the both of them as he spirals in madness trying to catch the killer.
for Steph, i want to explore the idea of her father, Cluemaster, being a *very* prolific and artful serial killer who's whole gimmick was sending clues to the police until he was caught when Steph was still a child, and her and her mother were forced to go into witness protection for their own safety, which led her down the path of becoming a nun. it was a defining childhood moment for her to walk in on one of her father's crimes, so when she's the one who finds the crime scene in the church, it *immediately* sends her back to her childhood and she's caught between PTSD-fueled horror and a sick, enticing fascination. she wanted to become a journalist before going into WITSEC but that career was basically all but ruined for her. now she runs the small newspaper for the church and is desperate to write on the first "real" story she's ever had, dragging her into an intense obsession over the crime and trying to prove she can solve it.
for Jason, i want to deal with his history as Bruce. the current idea is that Bruce is Tim's police chief who adopted Jason and Dick from a young-ish age and raised them to be detectives, taking them to crime scenes as teenagers and teaching them the ins and outs of how criminals think. it leads to Dick becoming a detective, but when taking them to crime scenes led to Jason being kidnapped and brutally tortured by "Jack Napier", almost dying. Dick kills Napier to save Jason and it fractures their little family so badly that Dick switches departments to another city and Jason runs away at 17, eventually happening upon joining the clergy. he's the new, young priest in the church who's known for being very pretty but very emotionally distant even if he's nice enough. and he's *pissed* that Bruce is in his church investigating a murder and that no matter where Jason goes, he can't seem to get away from the horrors.
and for Tim, he's the young new detective in his department who is *entirely* unaware that he's been taken under Bruce's wing bc Bruce is treating him as a surrogate replacement for Dick and Jason. haven't fully decided his backstory yet, but it'll likely be similar to canon with losing his mother and father. i kind of want him to be lost and lacking a sense of direction. very gifted in noticing patterns and detective work, but it's clear he doesn't *really* want this job. and when he's assigned as the lead on a case that feels *way* too big for his experience bc Bruce is showing clear favoritism, he's forced to go to Steph for help, which leads to Jason ending up wrapped up with them too.
despite how heavy the plot *sounds*, i honestly want this fic to be like. 40% porn. like the show i want to explore a lot of fucked up sexual interests in Jason who's punishing himself for it, Steph being too interested in things for her own good and desperate for a taste of what "real life" feels like, and Tim just being incredibly repressed. like i want the line between horror and erotic to feel like a jumprope. lots of fucked up sex balanced with like. them actually trying to catch the killer. and then of course the emotional aspect of how Jason's baggage with Bruce works into all of it. also want Tim to have a mild hero worship for "the great Detective Dick Grayson" while being clueless that he's Bruce's son and Jason's brother. i sort of want it to be Steph-centric, but still have POVs from Tim and Jason just to round out their emotional arcs. i haven't fully decided everyone else who'll be in the fic but i know i want Cass to be a fellow nun and friend of Steph's, Babs to also work at the church, Helena to be Tim's favorite coworker, and possibly for Damian to be around somehow. those roles will probably get more fleshed out when i. watch the damn show tho.
anyway TLDR: religious imagery, body horror, kinky sex, and a mystery that might break everyone psychologically once they get to the bottom of it. i have some very specific scenes and dialogue planned out. probably cannibalism as a metaphor for love thrown in there too. idk i just want these three to be as fucked up as possible and unhinged about each other but fighting their repressed side with their unhinged feral side. and since it doesn't exist by god I'll create it.
#necrotic answerings#necrotic works in progress#jaytimsteph grotesquerie au#<- temp tag until this fic gets a real name#jaytimsteph#when i shared this idea with my partner they were like. this should just be an original book#and yeah they're right but given it's derrivative of a show i don't think it *can* be. ergo. fanfic.#and i'm *already* writing one fucked up romance book with serial killers and a nun okay i've hit my quota.#but tysm for asking about this anon i was so excited to talk about it.#also! one scene idea i have in my head involves the three of them getting attacked#and jason killing the attacker with tim's firearm. which tim basically snatches from him and takes the blame for the kill#and even tho he's in the clear legally bruce sitll forces him to do a psyche eval that he hates.#and meanwhile jason asks tim to āpunish himā not bc he killed the guy but bc he *enjoyed* it.#very fun scene for like. the descent into madness of the three of them getting more and more unhinged trying to solve this case.#like how far are they willing to go type shit#also i have a *lot* of sex scenes planned.#don't ask me who the killer is i haven't decided yet#i'm leaning on it being someone connected to tim tho#just to flesh out his backstory more. so we'll see#anyway i'mso happy to ramble about this fic idea to anyone who wants to ask more about it bc it'll help me develop it more#i've got the basics down but i'm an outline girlie at heart so i need evertrhing planned out for it to work yk.#this is my petition to make more ppl care about jaytimsteph. they're so cool i swear.
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Things do get better.
Life can be cruel and unforgiving, like a writer killing off the most beloved characters and making everyone suffer through a lot. Yet every bad moment eventually shall pass.
We don't stop reading a book, just because the writer made things seem grim for a bit. We shouldn't stop living just because we're afraid it'll get worse.
Things can go badly, sure, but they can also turn out for the better. You can also survive.
Even giving up for a day, a month, a year, does not mean your life is not worth living.
It doesn't mean you're gonna be stuck here forever. It just means that for now, maybe for a long time now, things have been rough.
And you need a break, and a hug.
And someone to tell you, that you are very much loved, even if Life (as the most bitter and inspired writer) has decided to take it out on you.
You are loved, you're not weird, and you deserve good, beautiful, lovely things.
#Each thing my qpp (queer platonic partner) gifts me makes me feel happy so I put some of the gifts in the pictures#Many times I think I'm lazy and I'm starting to think maybe I'm just too sensitive and stuff#But that doesn't mean I'm not deserving of love :3#That doesn't mean life won't get better as long as I keep trying#I'll have bad days and good days and that's fine#I think that's life#šµš¶šµThat's lifeš¶#Anyway#Self indulgent writing :p#I have no idea what to tag this so it won't probably get seen lmao#Qpp<3#Moodboard kinda?#Comfort Moodboard#Agere#Age regression#Yes that is a great horned owl with Miguel's mask design because#That one scene in which he turns his head in Hobie's direction HAHA#He's an owl <3#Also y'all LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL EMBROIDERY MY WIFE MADE AAA#My qpp <3<3<3#Karline i love you aaaaaaa#Feel like I should probably fangirl about my wife in another post and not in my vent comfort post but uh#Agere comfort Moodboard#Literal pastels#Oil pastels agere moodboard#Velha infancia#Tulip and zuche hehe#Bunny#Bunny plushy
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Really bummed about ONRAC, even more bummed about the reason why.
#onrac#oh no ross and carrie#I donāt know anyone else other than my partner who listens to it#so I donāt have anyone to commiserate with#but this is a podcast thatās been running for 13 years#itās one of the few ones where I listen to episodes as soon as they drop#one of them is planning to do a new podcast#but itās interview-based#and I generally dislike interview podcasts tbh#like I generally skip the knowledge fight episodes that are interviews#the only interview podcast I used to listen to was the new books network#and even then only if the book really sounded like something I would read#and then I stopped bc I would just never get around to reading the books ._.#oh. there was that other oneā¦#maybe writ large?#which would interview academics about famous literature#and even then I only listened to the ones where the book already interested me#and that one about Moby Dick to see if they would say something to convince me I should read it#sorry to the one person I know who likes that book but it did not :P#convinced me of its historical importance!#but not that I need to read it.#gold star for you if you read all these tags
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also it really is shit how several popular bloggers were like. Horribly bigoted towards ace people when it was cool, but once it stopped being trendy they 1) deleted those posts so receipts couldn't be pulled 2) maybe put up claimed "redactions" or said "omg its been years if you really wanna know wether i still hate those people dm me" but never apologized for their behavior lmao. I don't think any of the people who did that actually changed, I just think they know it's not such an acceptable/fun target to bully anymore. It's really sick how that type of bullying was encouraged for years and how few people repented for their behavior.
#cipher talk#H*stlerose and lgbt*nis in particular come to mind#x***guiw*ng too tbh#They did a weird heel turn of being normal about ace people to insinuating most ace people are homophobic and self centered#And that believing a society which strictly controls your sex life doesn't like you not having sex and may punish you is a 'white thing'#As though the pressures around sex are not MORE strongly felt by PoC#I don't wanna say 'imagine if there was a mass movement of people who said they hated gay men and homophobia wasn't real and they never#Apologized or faced consequences' bc I know that exists. It's on Twitter and it's why I'm cagey around how people on tumblr say f*g#(I do mean like other lgbtq people tbc)#But like it's ridiculously fucked up that it happened. That people allowed it. That most people have forgotten about it either bc#They were targeted or bc they did the targeting#Remember when a real human being who had recently come out as ace was murdered for rejecting a man and people turned her into a fucking#Discourse topic? And posted decapitation photos claiming they were of her in tags about ace people/spread rumors about that?#I do. I fucking do.#Remember all the discussions about how 'denying your partner sex' was abuse? How ace people were p*dos for forcing discussions of sexuality#Onto kids? How wanting non alcoholic non sex forward spaces- something ND people and addicts also discussed- became a fucking crime?#Because ace people also thought it was cool?#Like g-d I know this was painful and I'm not saying we should do discourse again but forgetting all that isn't helpful either
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Are Marcus Antonius and his friend in love? Cuz... If he touched Marcus Antonius' lips, what does that mean?
I don't think I've drawn Antony with a friend on this account before, do you mean Octavian? for me, they hate each other, but there's an overlapping area where resentment, desire, violence, and power come into play, and past that: familiarity, only it's the kind of familiarity where the pitch was turned up too high and it becomes claustrophobic.
if Antony shoves his fingers into Octavian's mouth, it's coming from a place of erotic debasement and power play, but he's also giving Octavian the opportunity to bite his fingers off. If Octavian kisses Antony, it's less a display of romance and more of a desire to consume, to conquer, to bite, to cannibalize.
They can't get what they want from each other, and in the end they're too similar and too different so it becomes absolutely unbearable.
On the Translation (of Sophocles' Philoctetes), Carl Phillips
#ask tag#....does antony have friends. he has partners for sure but does he have. friends.#huh. i'll have to think on that for awhile. idk if i should count lucilius or not.#anyway they hate each other (to me) (which is also romantic) but they were kind of married (through octavia) and also divorced
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