#...BUT I don't want to ever see them or be aware of their existence.'

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Idk if ur requests are open but here's mine. I really need Sol, Geo, Hyugo and Crowe (seperated) with a bubbly and slightly chaotic, troublemaking s/o! I know it's probably in contrast to the mc/us in the game, but it's just a thought I really like to think abt! <33

Love ur work btw, no need to take my request lolll

𝓜𝔂 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓲𝓼 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓾𝓷, 𝓪𝓼 𝓑𝓻𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓡𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓪𝓼 𝓨𝓸𝓾

I am aware this is shorter, but I hope you like this Anon! <3 (also not me showing blatant favortism for Geo like naur I'd never)

-- Signed solemnly by @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer AKA Sky Fort(resse)s and Burning Citadels <3

Sol always found you cute, your aura was one of…peace. Which was ironic considering you’re the last thing most people think of in terms of peace.

You’re a menace to society, an adorable one sure, but a menace nonetheless.

You’re often seen (totally not by Sol, no he’d never-) squawking at birds and doing a little dance in hopes they mimic you. Many pray that will never happen again. The first and only time such an event occurred, you skipped three classes just to teach it the Macarena.

“It was so fucking worth it though, like did you see it? I’m asking you Bethany DID YOU SEE IT!!!!” (Bethany is scarred to this day).

Sol finds you so beautiful, you might act zesty and a bit out of pocket, but to him you’re perfect. You’re not embarrassed about being yourself and you’re just unashamedly you. What more is there to love, apart from literally everything about you?

He’ll miss class just to spy- sorry- observe you interacting with things, pet rocks, frogs, birds, a tarantula, your eyes sparkle with that love for the world that he can’t get enough of.

When you partnered up with him for the art projects, Sol was (s)creaming inside, you immediately lit up his mood and you had such a boisterousness in you. Usually he hates such vivid personalities, but yours wasn’t intended to be fake or attention-seeking, it was just you. And he loves you.

You’re like the ball of sunshine x menacing storm cloud ship. 

He’ll often fight the urge to smile, not just from seeing you but how happy you look when you see your friends, and especially him. He wants nothing more than to look into your eyes each morn, eve and night and see that beautiful sparkle and light inside them.

Gets carnal urges to rail you every damn time you express glee at something, or just grin at him. He’s so down bad you just smiling is more than enough to make him bust a couple times.

When you’re together, he finds things to make you as happy as possible, does little things that he knows you’ll appreciate, etc. Mans wants only the best for his partner.

Considering how he's already committed heinous crimes (for you, allegedly, but you don't know this), he'll give you crucial advice on how to avoid getting caught doing dodgy shit. Like. Hiding a body. Mayhaps. Not that he'd ever do that nooooo he'd neeeveeeerrrrrr.

Geo finds you immeasurably irritating.

He can’t stand you, he doesn’t know why you exist. It makes him very sad inside. He often wishes you would get magically gagged so he’d never have to hear your voice again.

It’s not that he hates you, you just bother him. You’re stupidly nice, stupidly bubbly, stupidly energetic, stupidly existent, stupidly silly, stupidly everything.

In fact you’re so stupid he questions how you’re alive, along with why you take up so much space in his head.

When you’re in the group, he winces internally because you’re so loud and it’s so annoying and stupid and dumb.

Unfortunately you decide you like him, so you try to befriend him. And you turn into a literal barnacle. You’re not clingy, no, but you’re definitely pleased when you see him, much to his dismay.

You’re often very cheery, and weirdly enough it’s authentic. You’re authentic in this odd boisterousness of yours, and he doesn’t know how to feel. So he gaslights himself into finding you bothersome.

Deryl often laughs at him about it, he finds Geo’s distaste comedic.

Anyway Geo side-eyes you consistently, you pay him no mind however, you’ve been told he’s like a cat. And a cat poses no threat. Unless it has rabies. Can cats have rabies…?

Anyway, the both of you are toying with each other, well, you with Geo. And to be fair, the fact that he’s a delinquent as well makes you more inclined to befriend him.

He only gains respect for you when you start pulling shitshows on people who bullied others, especially if it’s the girls who screw with Brittney and Deryl. He begins to feel more intuitively safe around you after that. Although he doesn’t like your unpredictability. It reminds him of Hyugo.

Blatantly will never admit to having feelings for you. Denial is a river in Egypt and he can’t swim. (I hc that now.)

Although if somehow one of the others hints to you that he does (nobody ever reveals who, to his ire), you take a chance with him.

He’ll probably accept after 7 months and 3 days of avoiding the topic, but he does feel a slight warmth when you’re nearby.

If you give him a pet rock with a smiley face he’ll have no clue what to do with it, but he keeps it safely hidden on his windowsill in his bedroom, smiling at it in secret.

110% a nasty blusher, his face goes so red, so if he looks straight up into the sun, he’s def hiding smth. If you’re short, start growing. Take Viagra but for height instead of dick.

Anyway if you two date he’s silently death-staring people who insult or threaten (or God forbid, harm) you. Thunder and lightning shipcore.

He’ll never be open about his feelings, but you just make him look up at something via distraction and smuggle something out of nowhere to give to him.

Decides after a bit your bubbly personality isn’t that stupid after all. <3

Hyugo immediately takes a pretty potent liking to you, although with a hint of caution. He’s energised by your energetic nature, by your boisterousness and sheer optimism.

He sees you as a kindred spirit, you’re both more on the popular side of things (him for his reputation, you for your very well-known…’presence’), yet despite such clear similarities between the two of you…he sees you as a threat.

It’s always the sweetest exteriors that hide layers of hard, serrated bitterness far beneath; after all. He’d know.

But Hyugo learned to be more in-tuned with his intuition, to trust his gut overtime, and said gut doesn’t feel alarmed when near you. If anything it feels safe, warm, content.

So he begins to feel a bit disarmed, he even allows it, to a very minor extent. He eventually begins to befriend you (or at least he tells himself that), and soon enough you’re both dragging each other (and Sol) places.

He develops feelings very slowly, very gently. Like a Jenga tower, it stacks higher and higher, but always prepared for the sudden drop that’ll lead to him reverting back to his regular self. One he hides from the world.

But it doesn’t fall. If anything, it’s soaring, he’s soaring.

And one day he realises he loves you.

It takes him a long set of months to gather up any bravery to confess; which annoys him. He’s murdered people, been on the verge of death more times than fingers on his hands, yet he’s scared. Of this. Of how vulnerable he truly is in this situation. 

Some part yearns for it. So he confesses. And you accept.

He’s blushing profusely (he and Geo 110% are heavy blushers don’t you dare fight me on this), and even more so when you lot first kiss (we’re not even gonna get into what happens when you inevitably have very carnal very kinky very loving se-).

Anyway, in terms of your chaoticness, you serve as self regenerating chaos bombs. You constantly are lighting each others’ fuses and doing all sorts of wacky shit together. He shows you all the hidden places he knows and you show him how to commit minor offences without getting caught (he didn’t have the heart to tell you he already knew that but shh).

Yáll are gremlins. The masses fear what you’re both capable of.

Crowe knew from when he first met you that you had interesting ways of entertaining yourself.

Especially when you committed acts of vandalism against your alleged nemeses. Considering how you come off more calm and composed as a first impression he was definitely shocked when you pulled little-shit-esqe moves against people who annoyed you. Little graffiti drawings in their victims’ lockers, conveniently placed stones and bricks, etc. You were vengeful, but also…cute. You had a kindness to you. One that threw many people off, considering how see-saw your personality and behaviour was.

He often uses his reputation to try and get you out of trouble or telling you why you should stop being such a silly goober. But do you listen? No!

You’re still a bubbly person, and despite your...methods…you’re liked. You’re authentic in your own way, and Crowe can respect that in a world filled with lies upon fraudulent lies.

He developed feelings for you since the day you met, but they amplified when he sees you defending people, openly showing your care for others, because despite your allegedly ditzy aura, you’re a very smart and capable person. He sees a lot in you, and you make him feel alive.

You’re impulsive, spontaneous and he loves that. He’s used to rigidity, to caring about his reputation, but you don’t. It’s refreshing, it’s soothing, it’s a balm to the soul. 

You’re both often complimenting each other (not just verbally lol), one’s more calm and composed while the other is having an aneurysm because of some wacky thing they saw. It’s amusing.

Anyway Crowe wouldn’t confess his feelings, because he can’t tell whether your hints are serious or not, but if he feels like he can’t take it anymore, he definitely will say it and plan to make it a joke. You both use this back and forward method until you snap and yell it at him. Then you have se- sorry coughs- a moment of shared reconciliation and bonding time. 

You’re both very happy together, you’ve already been friends for a long time, so dating isn’t all too different, you can just be a bit more open about your feelings and…desires. ;)

Deryl absolutely appreciates you; to him you’re like a twin flame.

You’re both having an absolute blast together, even before you were friends. 

Mans is actually tweaking that you’re the way you are. You’re both supplying candy to one another and getting on massive sugar rushes. 

If you’ve found something cool, you’re showing it to him, same with him to you.

You’re both going batshit insane over small wacky things, whether it be food sales, candy stores having new things (much to Geo and Brittney’s dismays) or deciding to do a new sport together for funsies. Or even stalking Geo and Hyugo’s archery tournaments. Geo often gets pissy if he notices you two waving at him.

You’re typically the quiet one when alone (not without some rebelliousness or mischief though!), but around Deryl you’re both bringing each other up and essentially formulating plans to shit around as much as possible.

He doesn’t notice his feelings until when Brittney starts poking fun at you both.

You both don’t care though, you’re just chilling and causing shit to go down, whether it be dissing other sport teams, crafting goofy ass insults or just piggybacking on each other (well, mostly you on Deryl, you tried to lift him once and uh…yeah, not repeating that).

He loves your bubbly energy, especially if you like studying too. It makes him more motivated to actually do something, considering how he hates it.

You both see the other as a twin flame, a once-in-a-lifetime connection that you both can’t explain. It’s just…there.

Anway in terms of dating you’re both actually conked up on something 24/7. Mostly sugar, you smuggle it in for each other, you eat it when observing something entertaining, you even share gossip and people-watch. It’s magnificent. And it’s peaceful, in its own way.

Also you guys share food. Food is everywhere. It is being produced out of thin air. 

Banger relationship, banger vibes. <3

[vidavalor]

Fun observation! 😊 I feel like I get this or have some ideas on it anyway so I had a bit of a go on it below, if you're interested.

I think these are two scenes that are contrasting parallels to one another that are not really about Aziraphale's personal feelings regarding touch or his experiences with it but show him being thrown a bit by having more context than the other person in the scene, who is in emotional distress, and being unsure what the best way to care for them in that moment is.

In the Gabriel hug scene, half of Aziraphale's reaction is just shock. He's as floored as we are. Aziraphale doesn't have a problem being touched; he's just like wtf is happening right now??, which is the expression on his face.

This is Gabriel. While Aziraphale has seen hints of Jim before in Gabriel, they've only ever just been hints. The Gabriel that Aziraphale mostly knows wears his suit like it's a suit of armor and is obsessed with crafting his image as someone who is powerful and in control. He does all of those things to stay alive in Heaven. The man in front of Aziraphale in this moment in 2.01, though? He is the complete opposite of that.

Gabriel is stark bollocks naked. In the middle of the street. He's openly friendly, overjoyed to see Aziraphale, vulnerable, and as emotionally naked as much as he is physically so.

By taking out his memories, Gabriel has forgotten Heaven. All his toxic masculinity bullshit and the like is tied up in trying to survive Heaven so once that's been trauma-blocked for him to a point that he can't remember any of it, all that is left is who Gabriel really is at the core-- and that's the guy who has shown up at Aziraphale's door that they name Jim.

Jimbriel is emotionally available and open to a point that was almost unimaginable the last time we saw The Archangel Fucking Gabriel, right? Don Draper has turned into an amnesiac version of Buddy the Elf.

Where Gabriel's political shrewdness ("there are no back channels, Michael") and his sarcasm showed an awareness of social dynamics, those are just gone with Jim, who is earnest and direct with his emotions. Jim says and does what Gabriel has always felt and wanted to say and do but felt he could not without giving away what little power he was trying to cling to in Heaven to stay alive.

Jim was seen in other moments before Gabriel had lost his memory. There is a lot of Jim in the Ineffable Bureaucracy flashback, when Gabriel is able to let his guard down around Beez. Aziraphale has seen hints of Jim's existence when Gabriel carefully joked with him in the bookshop and protected him from Sandalphon. It's those hints that allow Aziraphale to recognize the guy at the door as being Gabriel in distress and let him in.

Before that, though, we just get to enjoy the lunacy of this scene with Aziraphale, and no part of it is as wild as when Gabriel drops the box and gives Aziraphale a big ol' squeezy hug. Why does Aziraphale freeze, unsure what to do with his hands?

I don't think Aziraphale's response has anything to do with him being unaccustomed to touch. It had to do with him being in shock as to what the actual fuck??? is happening and, even more importantly, his concern over what the best way to care for Gabriel in this moment would be.

First is the shock of what is happening: there are several hundred people watching and filming this. Gabriel is vulnerable here in a way that the person Aziraphale knows would never, ever want to be. His memory appears to be gone and he's full Hamm in the middle of Whickber Street. This is in addition to Aziraphale himself being a private person and introverted and, even if he weren't, this is all just completely bonkers. Gabriel is a person that Aziraphale perceived as having a lot of power in Heaven. He doesn't really know that Gabriel is as trapped as he and Crowley are, though he suspects it a bit. His and Crowley's last encounter with Gabriel was less than pleasant and now Gabriel's here, after something terrible has clearly happened to him, hugging him on the doorstep in front of the entire neighborhood.

Aziraphale isn't just considering what might happen if Gabriel got his memories back, was embarrassed by this, and took that out on Aziraphale. Being Aziraphale, he's more concerned about the fact that Gabriel is hugging him but doesn't seem like he's in a place, emotionally or mentally, to really be able to make a call on whether or not this hug is something he truly wants.

I feel for Aziraphale here because I think that he did have issues in the past with being held, if not exactly with giving other people a hug. (He didn't usually volunteer those hugs but could awkwardly return them.) He struggled with thinking he didn't need it because he should be above it. Crowley helped him with that, though. Aziraphale sometimes has issues with anything that feels like it's about him because he's excessively self-sacrificing but we've seen that he is comfortable about touch with Crowley. He reaches out to him several times in S2 in a way that shows they have an understood, mutually consensual familiarity where that's concerned.

Crowley might be a little unaccustomed to being petted in the pub lol but that's just because it's a public setting. In a bit of a twist to the kiss scene you're talking about where Aziraphale takes that moment before he puts his hand on Crowley's shoulder, there are a whole bunch of other scenes in S2 where Aziraphale keeps touching Crowley's shoulder or his arm with a casual intimacy that shows he does it all the time. (Not to mention the comfort with one another that The Wall Slam in S1 shows.) They also each mime a kiss at different times at one another in S2 (Aziraphale after "very nice" and The Apology Dance; Crowley in the back room after "don't you want to hear my plan?"), showing that kissing is not new to them.

Aziraphale takes Crowley by the shoulder in the magic shop in 1941; he holds him up and helps him walk in 1827 (also reaches for his hips to try to steady him earlier in the minisode); he reaches for him in 2.06 in the above gif; and, in the scene below, Aziraphale reaches with intuitive, practiced ease to touch Crowley-- while standing so close to Crowley that it makes it apparent that Aziraphale is very used to being that much into Crowley's personal space when they're in the bookshop.

Crowley only leans back away from it because, as we can see from his darting eyes, he's not sure how he feels about them being that open in front of Gabriel. The fact that there's even this scene, though, where Aziraphale is shown to be so used to being so close to Crowley that, if Crowley hadn't leaned back, he would have basically been in his arms, is showing that they are allowed by one another to touch and hold each other.

So, Aziraphale's response to Gabriel hugging him isn't about touch in general-- it's about what was happening in that specific moment. This is where it gets into areas relating to boundaries and consent.

Even though it's Gabriel who initiated this hug, there's something so off about Gabriel that he doesn't appear to be in a mental place to really be making this decision. Gabriel is in obvious distress in a way that is so at odds with what Aziraphale knows of his personality that while Gabriel, in this moment, is expressing that he wants to hug Aziraphale, Aziraphale doesn't really know that Gabriel, on the whole, would want to do that.

This is why I think Aziraphale doesn't even really sort of try to pat Gabriel's shoulder or something. He doesn't know what to do with his hands because while his heart sees Gabriel and says, around the shock of what's going on that, whatever has happened to Gabriel, the poor guy probably does really need a hug, the rest of Aziraphale is concerned that he doesn't have enough context about what's happened to Gabriel to be able to judge whether or not Gabriel is in a good enough headspace to be making this call.

One rather enormous contextual clue to that is the fact that he's buck ass naked in the middle of the street 😂 which is clueing Aziraphale into the fact that maybe Gabriel isn't in the best place to be making decisions about stuff like this right now.

It's also been Aziraphale's experience that Heaven takes memories of angels who have fallen through the ranks or fallen to Hell and that, while they don't know exactly what's happened, odds seem good that this might be what's happened to Gabriel. It seems wild to Aziraphale because Gabriel is The Supreme Archangel but it's possible and, whatever's happened to him, it's clear that he ran afoul of The Metatron in some way and has been harmed in the process.

Gabriel has experienced something traumatizing, in other words-- maybe even so traumatizing that it's the reason why he can't remember anything. He's naked and acting unusual and unusually emotional so Aziraphale knows Gabriel's not really in a place to be deciding whether or not he wants touch or not. He might very well really want to be hugged-- I think he did, as his day was pretty shit so far and Aziraphale is cuddly lol-- but he and Aziraphale have exactly zero prior understanding where boundary lines are around touch-- in general or when one of them is distressed-- are concerned.

He doesn't touch Gabriel or lightly hug him back because he feels he doesn't really have Gabriel's permission to do so, and he's correct. He doesn't. Gabriel isn't in a place to decide whether or not this hug is something he's going to want to have happened down the line.

I think that the Gabriel we have as of the end of 2.06 is probably appreciative of the fact that Aziraphale didn't touch him during that hug because it showed that Aziraphale cared about Gabriel's comfort and didn't want to touch him without that being something that Gabriel, when of sound mind, had permitted. I'm sure that Gabriel is also embarrassed about having just glomped onto Aziraphale. Not even just because of the whole naked, vulnerable, Jim-ness of it all but because he put Aziraphale on the spot and was too out of it to consider Aziraphale's comfort level with what was happening.

Gabriel really should have asked Aziraphale if he could hug him but, mixed up from his missing memories, he assumed they already knew one another and that, since he just knew to come to the bookshop, that it must be because he and Aziraphale already knew each other well. What makes this situation different from the one in 2.06 during The Kiss scene with Crowley is that Aziraphale and Crowley have a completely different level of intimacy and familiarity than Aziraphale and Gabriel did.

Crowley and Aziraphale have body swap-levels of intimacy and have preestablished understandings of what is permitted between them and in a state of distress. I did a post about what I think is happening in The Kiss scene, in terms of why Aziraphale reacts the way he does, and there is context to the happenings in that scene that Aziraphale had that Crowley was missing that I think impact Aziraphale's response to the kiss. You can read about in that post, if you're interested. In addition to that, though, Aziraphale isn't sure about responding to the kiss because Crowley has been so emotionally up and down over the prior few minutes that, kind of like with Gabriel in 2.01 but in a different way, Aziraphale isn't sure that Crowley is in a headspace to have decided this kiss is really what he wants.

From Aziraphale's perspective, Crowley was missing all night. He came back trailed by archangels and Aziraphale doesn't know what happened the prior night. Aziraphale has seen behavior that is very off for Crowley since he returned, which I also looked at in that post. Crowley not going with him with "The Metatron" and Crowley not seeming to see "The Metatron" as a threat are things that are way, way off for Crowley and indicate that, while he might otherwise seem fine, he's really not fully in a good mental state.

This is all before they even start talking in That Scene and then Crowley is all over the place, emotionally. He was in tears just prior to this kiss. Aziraphale thinks he understands, intellectually, why Crowley comes back to kiss him (he gets about half of it-- the emotional reasons why but not the plot reasons why and, yeah, there's a plot reason) but he's not sure about returning this kiss for similar reasons to why he wasn't sure about returning Gabriel's hug.

Crowley has permission to touch/hug/kiss Aziraphale so he's not violating any preestablished boundary here by doing so. He is doing so while distressed, though, and Aziraphale is concerned about doing the right thing by Crowley in this moment. He wants to kiss him; he's just not sure that Crowley really wants to kiss him right now and isn't just doing so because he's upset. When Crowley holds on a bit, Aziraphale has to decide what to do and he eventually sort of gently responds. He kisses him a little; he runs a hand over his shoulder. It's because he wants to comfort him and he knows from their long history that he has permission to gently do that-- their car and their bookshop and all that-- but he won't turn this thing into some wild, passionate kiss because, to Aziraphale, that would be taking advantage of Crowley.

The point is that, even though Crowley and Gabriel have wildly different levels of intimacy in their different types of relationships with Aziraphale, both Gabriel and Crowley are reaching out for different types of physical touch while in distress after being harmed and Aziraphale, both times, is just trying to figure out the best way to acknowledge their pain and provide comfort while also not crossing any lines that might make either of them feel later on that they were taken advantage of when they were vulnerable. It's why Aziraphale is a very trustworthy person-- he is sensitive to and cognizant of this stuff with everyone.

Something that I’ve noticed, and I don’t know what it means. But did anyone else notice how Aziraphale’s (present day) opening scene in season 2 involves him being embraced and he has no idea what to do with his hands:

…which is then mirrored by his (almost) last scene where he is being embraced and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands:

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

I mean, in the last scene Aziraphale does grab onto Crowley for a brief moment (and I’ve written more about why that may be here). But just putting these two scenes side by side is making me wonder what deeper meaning there could be.

Would love to hear your thoughts on the matter! What does everyone else think this means?

[justajsworkshop]

RANT UPLOADING...

*disclaimer: i'm really grouchy in this one, so if tough love/getting yelled at isn't your learning style, please feel free to skip.

istg, sometimes, it's like you have your hand shoved in a jar, and you're holding onto the cookie trying to get it out. the opening is too small for you to pull out your hand while it's holding onto the cookie, so you're shouting to everyone that you can't get it, it's not happening for you, why does everyone else have a cookie but you don't, how do you get a cookie, how many times to you have to tug and try and what method did you use to get the cookie.

when if you would just let go of the cookie and pull out your hand, you'd see that the opening is big enough to just drop it right into your palm.

there's no having it in the 3D vs. having it in the 4D. read that again.

there is only YOU. reality is nothing but your perception of self. it's all just YOU here. there's nothing else going on, no other outside forces happening here. perception of self = experience of self = reality. you either perceive yourself as the one who has it or the one who doesn't have it. so, let GO of your old perception of self (the self who doesn't have what you want) and open your palm to receive a new perception, and identify with your ideal.

expand your object permanence. just because you don't see your phone with your physical eyes every second of the damn day doesn't mean you don't know it's yours.

when you identify as god—the undivided one—you recognize that you are one with everything that could ever possibly exist because you ARE all things. the physical—including this fleshy meat suit and the mind/personality associated with it—is literally nothing but limitation. why are you asking your limitations to reveal to you the limitless?

this is why i always recommend meditation, and fine, you can go ahead and moan and groan and bitch about it all you want. i have audhd, btw. so, don't even try to pull that shit with me. even just taking 15 SECONDS to close your eyes and be aware of the thoughts passing through your mind (watch them), the sensation of your breath rising and falling, and any emotions present in the body will help you see that you're not the body/thoughts/feelings: YOU ARE THE ONE WATCHING THESE.

and to THIS SELF, there's no difference between watching the physical and watching the imaginal because its all imagination to your (I AM) awareness. your imagination isn't "inside" you. your body and physical mind are inside your imagination: THE BIG MIND.

jai guru deva! glory to the big mind! glory to god!

but whatever, if you keep insisting that the physical world is the only reality, then you're going to continue to see and experience nothing but separation and limitation, and if that's how you want to experience self, fine by me. keep reading the onion every day and calling it Truth. but don't be surprised when nothing has changed because you refuse to choose a new way to perceive yourself and reality.

—j out.

[leefail]

I was thinking... The Robins was a mobile adoption sim (otome game style), launched a few years back with the hope of a revolutionary take on the dating sim genre. The game, though, lost its audience real quick. Because it wasn't a dating sim.

And then we have Bruce Wayne, a multibillionaire shut-in, never seen outside of the Wayne Manor ever since his parents met their tragic death, with the one person who remembers he existed being the Waynes' aged butler.

Don't let his being a shut-in fool you, Bruce was never good with electronic devices, let alone video games. His days were mostly spent sleeping and trying to chase the demons inside his head away with books.

That's how he downloaded The Robins, a click on an ad that told him to... click. (In big bold green letters with an arrow) It got him to the downloading link, and he just downloaded it.

Bruce became an addict. The game had four main capture targets: Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian. Along with a bunch of other secret routes you can unlock during your playthrough.

The gameplay was simple enough. You just have to increase a character's favourability to the max for them to get adopted. Favourability increases with each unlocked special scene, and special scenes are unlocked with a certain number of successful interactions.

Special scenes were Bruce's favourite part. He'd hold his breath so tight and sit straight like a scholar for an exam and give all of his attention to the screen. You wouldn't guess he was playing a game.

The first one he played was with Dick. The young adult was sitting on the rooftop and Bruce followed him there. They talked and joked. Bruce never thought it was a special scene until the spark in Dick's eyes was gone, and he told him about his parents' death.

"Sometimes," Bruce could only see Dick's side profile as he talked, "Sometimes I wonder, Bruce. Would this have happened if I just... wasn't there? Could I have been a... a changeable variable?"

"Am I still a changeable variable?"

... For an even bigger tragedy that is about to happen.

As Dick's loud cries filled the room. Bruce's pillow became soaked with his own tears.

As for his favourite character? It was Jason, who, when Bruce finally maxed his favourability points with, disappeared instead of getting adopted. Bruce was so upset about it he spent a whole night writing a harsh criticising review. A gamer took a screenshot of his comment later, and it became an embarrassing meme that was the talk of the gaming community for a while. Bruce wasn't aware of this because he didn't have social media. (I need to mention that his username in the app store was his actual full name)

You can imagine the stress he felt when Jason returned with the rage of a burning sun.

"You know what I hate most about you, Bruce?"

His gloved hands clutched the neck of Bruce's character shirt, yanking him up so they're face to face. "It's that you're a fucking coward"

"It only took one tiny inconvenient problem for you to hide in your little corner and just give up"

"Because, heh" Jason's expression was vicious when he grinned mockingly, devastatingly at Bruce's face, looking straight through the man's phone sceen "you're saaadd. You just lost the closest thing you have to a son, so you're a sad, pathetic, miserable loser. It's an enough justification for you to just. Stop. Tryyyinggg!"

"If I wanted a dad. It wouldn't be someone who'd make my absence the blame for whatever cowardly shit he's on."

"It would be someone who even when I die, would fucking carve mountains with my name so no one could forget.

... I never died, Bruce. But everybody forgot"

"If I wanted a dad, it would be someone who'd hold my hand, " Jason caught Bruce's character's shoulder in a death grip, " and pull me up, he would come to me...

He- he would pull himself out of his own stupid head just so he could come to me" when Jason cried, Bruce closed the game.

For the long time Bruce spent wallowing in his room. Never had he felt so... heavy as he did in the later days. He could sense the weight of food in his stomach, and his butt would be numb no matter how many times he changed his position. He was tired, spent, and no book could keep his attention for long. It got to the point where Pennyworth, his butler, finally talked to him for the first time after their big fight.

"Master Bruce, you are not touching your food. Are you alright?"

Bruce's throat twisted in on itself.

No, he was not, and had not been for a long, long time.

He didn't reply, instead.. he opened the game.

He still got Tim and Damian to capture. After all.

[mrrecaswife]

After all, tomorrow is another day.

(Extremely ominous voice) Guess who's baaaack~

Seriously, life has made me inactive, and so I have FINALLY found the time to create a little Sunday X Reader drabble. Be aware that this take the very AE! Sunday route that hasn't yet released at writing time, so there might be some HSR spoilers/leaks under the cut in here. If you don't want to see that, turn away!

Also reminder that I have a HSR Regency AU poll going on, so don't hesitate to go and vote! I'll take the first four characters to write about. You might also see in the coming days a milestone thank you note from me because you guys are just awesome people, so keep up the good work and remember that I'm cheering you on!

Askbox is also open, so don't hesitate to request or chat (my existence knows I need inspo so pleease come and request). If you do, reminder that NSFW is NOT allowed!

Have a 🍪 to compensate for my absence, and another 🍪 should you recognise the title. Please do not come to steal them in masses, I barely have any left.

Also, good luck on your pulls! (This fic is a desperate call for at least E0S1 Sunday)

When Sunday was younger, you realised that he got bullied a lot by other children. His sensitive nature made him an easy target, and he couldn’t stop crying because of their cruel, harsh jeers aimed at him.

So you took on the responsibility to protect the halovian, fully intent on starting a physical fight with whoever thought it was a decent idea to bully him.

His sister Robin also joined you whenever she saw it happening, yet she was mostly blind to this; Sunday did not want her to know under any circumstance.

So you defended him, you bandaged his bruises and stood up for him whenever someone was mocking him behind his back.

You also made sure to hug him afterwards while promising that he’ll be fine as he sobbed in your arms, wings shaking from fear, adrenaline and gratefulness for your presence.

It did not matter to you that you got into trouble for this afterwards, all that mattered was the sniveling little bird boy that needed your protection.

When Mr. Gopher Wood came in the picture, you never saw the two halovians siblings again, face to face. All you ever got was visions of the Head of the Oak Family on television and a handshake from a popstar that was nearly submerged in a crowd were it not for her bodyguards.

When you came onto the Astral Express to visit the Nameless on board, as you had befriended them on Penacony, you were surprised to see a certain bird man there. When his eyes turned to you, a flicker of recognition sparked between the both of you.

Suddenly, you realised that, despite the years spent separated and the changes that have happened during that time, he was still the young, sensitive person that you remembered, shaking in your embrace, just like all those years ago.

[adoriels-tears-if]

I don't know if you played Crown of Exile (not the board game the one on itch.io) I won't spoil it (though this might be a spoiler? IDK) but there's a scene where MC is reunited with their past that I think is similar dynamic with mc and Ash relationship.

Emotions aren't logical, while I personally don't want my mc to hate Ash we as the readers have context while our mc's don't other than words their mother told them.

(Pss: did Ash ever even write to mc? I can get why not because like that could easily be taken and read by someone who shouldn't know about Mc's existence. So I'll get why there wouldn't be any letters sent for safety concerns. But that easily hit the heart whenever MC meets Ash and tells them, "You never cared for me!" And Ash could show off the receipts of his diary? Where he wrote almost everyday thinking about his child.)

If mc is going to formally meet Ash when they are adult or young adult? They already got raised by their mother and her friends, alongside their pseudo older brothers and Mc's childhood friend/love interest/ friendenemy. That's a lot of years apart so mc wouldn't really have a connection with their father, I personally wouldn't condemn any reader who chose their mc not to have any relationship with Ash.

(It would hurt Ash but I think he would understand why like Arthur in Bastard of Camelot, he will be thankful for their father figure being there for them when he couldn't be.)

I have the game in my to-play pile and subscribe to the blog, but I haven't had time to play yet. I'm as much an author as I am a reader.

As for Ash. Didn't write a letter to Mc. In fact, once Elianna was pregnant, the two agreed to burn to the ground any letters they might have sent each other. They could use magic to communicate, but here too the risks would be great. A few notes were exchanged via Tobias, but never anything too long or personal.

Ash never wrote to Mc but he spoke to Sirius about his child at length and with all his love. Making his familiar the repository of all the tenderness, love and things he would like to say to them. A Tear can't invade the mind of a Familiar that isn't their own, so that's rather reassuring.

Mc Child and Ash will never consciously stand face to face; the meeting will take place later, for no sooner will Mc have set foot near the tower than Ashlyen will know. And both fear and desire will drive him to see Mc. Fear for his child and selfish desire on his part.

Ashlyen is grateful to Tobias for being there, for always being there, but he also hates him for it. He's very aware of this, and it's visible in the side story available in the game. I encourage everyone to read the stories about Ash.

[ochrearia]

Emptiness of Dreams

Dear god okay there's like a billion bitches in here. No one talks and it's YS POV but there's. A billion

I don't know how to explain this any clearer. Read between the lines. This will make sense for the people that need to I promise. Just things I want to say but can't say directly.

BFs in this one-shot: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine), cs!BF (Beefer, mine), wyd!BF (Beef, Karl's), fc!BF (Boyf, Gold's), Cyborg!BF (Cyber, Gold's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), S2!BF (Bee, Isaac's), ourple!BF (Brooke, Isaac/VS Ourple Guy), idu!BF (BJ, Storm's), mixtape!BF (Bash, Kry's), fightin!BF (Mic, Lunar's), lca!BF (Bunny, Damien's), Yourself (YS)

Blue, Bastion, Baker, and Blake are mentioned but not physically present

He knew he had a problem. Well, that was quite the understatement really. He had a lot of problems. So many to the point where YS really couldn’t understand why any of them were still here. Broken people attracted more broken people, sure. Fine. But even other broken people still had enough logic to understand when someone was too broken, right? When there were things beyond anyone’s help. Tiring aspects that were just too much to keep thinking about. It was easy for others to stop thinking about it when it wasn’t them experiencing it. YS couldn’t stop thinking. Probably never would. Every time something slipped a little bit under the surface of the water he drowned so fast. And it was so shameful that everyone got to witness it. Felt inclined to help when really, at this point, maybe it was just better to let him drown proper.

The space in between dreams was usually empty. The more people tumbling into the space meant more things would pop up, stemming from the day’s thoughts and wishes. It was always nothing but empty whenever YS was here on his own. Nothing but cold fog. Nothing friendly, nothing warm, nothing all that safe. What did that say about his thoughts and wishes, huh?

But the usual emptiness of dreams wasn’t here this time. Not that this wasn’t meant to happen, it just hadn’t happened when YS was around. Mainly because he never really slept at the same time as anyone else aside from… an exception. He’d been going on for a few days without any real, proper sleep, and while he was an Angel, a supernatural being, there was still only so much he could take before his body completely crashed on him. Which was what happened here and now, a lucky outcome that it happened to be at a time where he should’ve been asleep anyway.

So many of his brothers were here. Half of them he suspected didn’t even realize where they were. And with so many selves came a blooming of the space in between dreams. Things, thoughts, safeties and wishes. Taking form as soft wisps of smoke, alien-like grass and flowers, lavender light coming from no visible source at all. The space here never had to make any sense to begin with. It was all just dreams, mashed together in a magic link across realities that wasn’t really supposed to exist. But it did. Might as well make something out of it.

Biff, of course. Biff was almost always here when YS was, and probably the most aware of what this place even was. Not like anyone truly knew its rules. But the longer you visit, the more you get in-tune with how some things work. YS knew some of his brothers had felt him arrive here and changed their paths entirely to cross with his. The others most likely didn’t know what was really happening and were just automatically drawn to a sense of familiarity. All leading back to him. What a nice thought.

Beef and Biff were wordlessly fighting with each other for who got the space in his arms. Idiots. No damn concept of sharing. If they wanted hugs all they ever had to do was ask. They would wake themselves up with this ridiculous tussle if they weren’t careful, but YS could see the playfulness of it in each of their faces. Silent brotherly fighting. Little bastards who cared a lot about each other but refused to admit it.

Boyf and Cyber were here too. Boyf had a secured spot on his left while Cyber lay sprawled rather unceremoniously across his legs. Something akin to the indignancy pile that YS had endured back when his reach only yielded him five brothers. Now, it was so much more. He wasn’t sure if Cyber really knew where he was, but it didn’t seem to matter. There were quiet purrs coming from him anyway. If YS was there, then nothing else mattered. A bit of a terrifying thought for YS- god, when would his brain just pick one? A constant tug-of-war between reveling in the fact he was that much of a safety to someone, and fearing being so damn important.

YS wasn’t really sure where he stood with a lot of his brothers. Which was so… stupid, wasn’t it? Why didn’t he know? They all had expressed some form of deep care for him thus far, from directly saying it to just small but meaningful actions. Choosing to let him stick around in their lives. A stray passing thought. Not looking at him like he was some sort of disgusting freak. Maybe that last one was the bare minimum but it didn’t matter to him. That was still the world in his eyes after everything.

Bash was behind him, asleep. Balancing him while they leaned back to back against each other. Now, YS loved all his brothers. That was true and it would stay true. And it was painfully obvious that he trusted some of them with different things. Was that shitty of him? Maybe. Certainly felt that way to him when he wanted everyone to feel equally important. But there were so many of them now. That wish might be an impossible task now. But maybe YS would burn himself out still trying to reach it. He never wanted to leave anyone on a metaphorical level of less importance somehow.

To his brothers, he felt love and that was clear. And he should stop worrying so much about the differences in each relationship. They were all the same person but they weren’t carbon copies of each other. It would be stupid to try to condense them all down to that. And where other brothers filled holes he desperately needed fixed, Bash sort of… balanced him. He shared similarities with many of them. There was something about his one older brother that was special. YS just wasn’t sure how to convey that. Or really… fairly approach Bash like he deserved for that matter. But for now in between dreams the connection helped dampen his worries. He hoped he could believe he mattered the way he was told he does soon with him.

Peacock was on YS’s right. He was dozing too, but even in that state YS could feel an insistence to stay as close as possible. Two angels taking comfort in each other. It was funny, being a Guardian Angel and having another angel seemingly be guarding him. Beefer was somewhere nearby too. In his dinosaur form, for some reason, but maybe it was because he had no idea what this place was. Walking around. Guarding. Not just him, but everyone here. Even Boyf, despite them never getting along. Truce in the dream space. BJ kept an eye on the dinosaur lumbering around in circles. He seemed very curious about the other versions that obviously weren’t human. That, and well, it didn’t seem like any of them had seen a living dinosaur before who’s also an alien at the same time. Despite the curiosity BJ kept close to YS as much as he could, when everyone else was already crowding him.

Bee and Brooke were here as well. Lying content in the alien-like grass of the dream plains they were all sitting in together. Brooke didn’t seem very content though. Worried, hesitant. YS hadn’t gotten to talk to him a lot, and the first encounter had gone just about as wrong as it possibly could. YS didn’t think Brooke liked him at all. He’d probably prefer to be somewhere else, and that was fair. He was going through a lot as far as the angel could tell. But despite the dislike he was sticking around. Not for his peace of mind, obviously. Probably just because Bash, Bee, and Beef were clearly happy to stay here. It was enough to let Brooke take a hesitant chance.

Mic and Bunny were very new to YS, but they had made it here too. Playing chase for the sake of playing. Joy in a space they didn’t know, but it was okay, nothing could really hurt them here except their own fears. But it was clear no one truly feared where they were. It was funny, Mic was very much a little brother to YS despite him being five years older than him. Somehow. 

Yeah, no. Bash was the only one who was getting away with any semblance of taking care of YS in an older-brother kind of way. And even then YS felt some sort of guilt he was letting anyone be responsible for him.

It was weird. All of them kind of took care of him in their own ways. Just something unique and different about each one. Balance with Bash. Loyalty with Beef. Understanding with Biff. Warmth with Peacock. The list could go on, really. Though in the end they all seemingly wanted him here. Here, amongst people. Wasn’t that weird? Why did they want him here, anyway? YS still couldn’t find an understanding of that. ‘Because they wanted to’? Why? Why choose that with no real benefit?

People were so confusing.

Most of them managed to end up here tonight. That’s never really happened before. YS wondered what was different about this night. Wondered if the ones missing were awake, or just in their own dreams instead of the space in between. Blake, Blue, Baker. Good lord, if Baker was awake he swore to god he better not be creating a kitchen disaster right now. YS wondered how long it would take to get properly through to Bastion as well. Everyone, always on his mind. So many to keep track of, sometimes it made his head spin. But he’d still find room to fit in more. He had a feeling he was going to meet more brothers in the near future anyway.

People, here. With him. For him, some of them might try to say. That couldn’t be true. People shouldn’t be here for him, not when everyone else was around. Felt weird to think he was some sort of priority. But he supposed he was a massive hypocrite too. Prioritizing everyone else as much as he could, trying his hardest to treat everyone equally, make them feel special because they were. But then flinched away if anyone tried to mirror his actions.

How dumb. YS wanted someone to do for him everything he did for others, but couldn’t even be thankful to accept that if someone tried. Nothing was ever good enough, huh? Ridiculous…

Beefer turned suddenly, red eyes boring directly into the angel. Knowing. Right… emotional walls didn’t work on that one. He could tell right away. He’d made a promise to try and think like that less. He was trying. It was just harder on some days than others.

People… here. Could he indulge in saying for him? Did he deserve that, though? Unsure on that part. Whether he said it or not wouldn’t change if it was true or not. A concept there, to sit in the back of his mind, surrounded by all these people. Did he have to keep himself so lonely? YS was so afraid to somehow hurt anyone here, everyone. But would keeping himself lonely make them happy? That might just hurt them too.

He knew one of them was terrified of him leaving. Just from one old conversation. That never really left his head. But there was still a little guilt there, making him even worry so clearly about that. YS was doing his best to keep to his word- that he wouldn’t leave. Even though things kept sliding downhill so fast some days.

Maybe none of them wanted him to leave. It’s not like he wanted to leave either. Sometimes his mind was cruel, though. It was hard to tell properly if anyone cared enough for him to stay some days. Like all the progress went back to zero. Wasn’t that so exhausting? To deal with someone who needed reassurance so often?

YS wouldn’t leave. For as long as they wanted him at all, he would stay.

He had a lot of problems. Maybe he himself was a problem and it might be time to admit that. Needing so much direct reassurance almost every day. That was a problem. And he should try harder to stop doing that because he clearly wasn’t trying hard enough. He would change completely for them, because he loved them.

Maybe that was another problem.

He was just a problem, wasn’t he?

But all of these brothers were here. Loving him. Him and his problems. And YS swore to spend the rest of his time here making up for it all. However short or long that time was allowed to be.

He loved his brothers. Maybe he shouldn’t love them this much when not much time has really passed. But he did anyway. YS loved his brothers. Maybe in another reality entirely, they were all friends. A reality YS could never find, but existed anyway. He hoped so.

Friends… he hoped so. 

[lordelmelloi2]

It's normal for teens to be attracted to other teens, hell it's normal for teens to find adults attractive, but I do think that like. The phenomenon I witnessed in the circles I saw here on tumblr and twitter where we had *Grown Men, Women, And Everyone in-Between Or Neither Or Otherwise*, people who are adults, constantly talking about how bad Castoria needed to get fucked or how much of a sex pervert she was ... I don't know how anyone can witness anyone talking like that about a teenager and not be like, WTF? It was fucked up because so much of LB6 is strictly about Castoria's trauma and neglect, how she only could rely on Ector, and how her supports have been ripped away from her, and how she's expected to do this grand act without a chance to live humanely or experience life or love... and people just wouldn't shut up about sex or petplay or fucking whatever. And she's like just a teenager. She's 16. But people kept acting like she had absolutely insane raging hormones, and projecting their own sexuality onto her, and the shit ppl wrote and drew was like... bro is she not like in dire need of some happiness that doesn't assume sex fixes everything about her? Or rather, do you idiots really think sex just cures you and everything you ever went through? Is sex the end goal of happiness for yall? It just felt demented as fuck. Like, who cares? But also why is it any of their business?

That's what drives me nuts and people talk about it seriously when it's like, American media, like I read conversations discussing how weird it is that tv runners and filmmakers love hyperfocusing in on teenage sexuality & sexualizing teenagers, how burdensome that for teens they can't enjoy media meant for their age group without *somebody* joyfully writing or trying to depict how much Sex they're having or how Sexy they are... I'm not even asexual, I just think this is a patriarchal problem that a ton of people just decided didn't matter anymore. Like it's ok to sexualize teen girls because they're teenagers. And if they're anime it's doubly okay because otaku don't care about that stuff. "Buh its Fikshon. Its make believe its pretend" type excuses made by people who think you don't passively absorb messages about how you should be acting, how you should talk, or look, or behave, depending on the positive connotation and depiction of anything in media. Like we're already aware we are slaves to advertising. Im getting ahead of myself here so let me like recap my thoughts:

- I think a ton of adults have this assumption that fictionality means 1) No teens will see it and internalize Sex = Value, 2) No adults will internalize that it's ok to treat teens like this and start behaving strangely towards teenagers

- "oh well then we should never depict teenage sexuality" How about this: Teenage sexuality has rarely been depicted with the dignity that allows teens to process real emotions about it rather than simply existing as spectacle and entertainment for pedophilic, boundary-lacking, disrespectful adults. And teens know this.

- Castoria is just so blatantly a little girl that needs like guidance and support and real ways of treating her like a person first that when I see people jump to speculating her sex life or talk about fulfilling her through sex I just want to strangle them. It is mostly adults that I have witnessed doing this and very rarely teens.

- I don't trust these adults because I think they have implicit bias directed towards being disrespectful of the boundary between adults and teenagers, they likely don't understand that that boundary is about respect, it's about treating those younger and less experienced than you with dignity and not forcing expectations onto them, they don't understand that negating that boundary is predation. A teenager is not your emotional equal. Or rather, they shouldn't be -- and if they are, and you're an adult, you need to understand your own maturity being on par with a teenager's doesn't mean you have the right to make adult expectations of a teenager. & I think that last bit as a principle applies to Many, Many things, not just sexual abuse dynamics

- I think if people try to strawman and say "well we can never talk about sex ed then" are also stupid because any sex educator will tell you there are clear cut boundary respectful ways that you can advise minors on sex ed and health that are able to answer their questions Without being disrespectful towards the minors involved or prying or treating them as equals to you.

- The older I get the more I realize the sheer and utter gap between a 16-17 yo and Any person above like. TWENTY years old and I start getting angrier and angrier the more instances I see of people talking about teens, fictional teens, teenagers in media, ETC. like they're sex symbols instead of like. Just. Kids. They're kids. They are literally kids that are growing up. My god. You do not really start to understand until you hit like 25 on average, I think, how absolutely batshit insane it is for ppl to be fantasizing about teenagers. & Quite frankly. I find it all starkly antifeminist and properly aligned with fascist ideals to be obsessed with this kind of thing as a virtue of sexual ""liberation"" or whatever people are saying these days. What exactly is liberatory about this and who does it benefit? In what way? What kind of ideas and power does this align with in our current political climate?

Asides from her being 16 years old it does make me insane when people talk about how bad they wanna fuck Castoria or how bad they need her to get fucked or something. I think these people are just straight up deranged. Maybe its bc I have kids but like theres noooo fucking way anyone who looks at Castoria and is fantasizing about anything sexual wrt her isn't a predator in some way bc how the fuck do you look at a sheltered, emotionally neglected 16 yr old like that and start immediately thinking about sex. She should be doing a nature walk field study and like playing basketball with her friends and going to hot topic not doing whatever the hell these weirdos think she should be doing lmfao

[angelicichor]

Sitting at family dinner, having to listen to my own parents talk about having "nothing to watch on Netflix, because everything has gay representation in it nowadays" and then my auntie complaining about my cousin asking her what "being gay" means, while my bisexual ass is sitting at the table looking at them like:

"Why don't you talk to/visit us more?"

Because your rampant homophobia and intolerance to anyone different than you makes me want to shoot myself jkjk it's just cause I hate you : )

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!

[intothemertensverse]

Thanks for tagging me! :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

118

What's your total AO3 word count?

1,507,734

Your top 5 stories by kudos:

Gustave Daae's Daughter

Pilgrim Soul

The Nanny

A Love There Is No Cure For

The World's More Full of Weeping Than You Can Understand

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I eventually respond to comments because I love reading the comments and would like to talk with my readers but I am also very socially awkward and shy with not great time management skills, so there's often a delay :')

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Eggs and Toast. It's the only phic of mine so far to take place *after* the canon Events of LND. Echo In This whisper was also pretty angsty

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I feel like they (almost) all end up pretty happy tbh! Maybe Tread Softly was slightly happier than most

Do you write crossovers?

The closest thing to a crossover I'll probably write is Like a Wheel, Like a Wind, which is a PotO au set in the Stephen King multiverse. Other than that, I mostly do AU mashup versions as opposed to actual crossovers (ie Evita au where Christine *is* Evita, not an au where Evita and Christine both exist)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

hmmmm :') fun fact: ffn does Not remove comments from fics, regardless of what the comment says :0 I received direct hate and even some personal accusations over my portrayal of an ace Erik, which was super interesting because the person in question then proceeded to continue to read and subscribe to my other stories lmao. I also got some bigoted comments over ace headcanons in more private settings as well, even from "allies". Someone got very flustered over the singular gay Erik I wrote once. Gustave Daae's Daughter got some upset comments because it was... a lil darker than what I normally write. Someone had an absolute fit over Christine's choices in Pilgrim Soul in a way that was slightly funny looking back at it ^^; That said, I've also received so many touching and wonderful comments that remind me why I write <3

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

this is a constant source of disagreement between me and my beta reader ahaha I would say "no" and she would. point to the many Scenes :''') I do have occasional explicit moments in my stories, but I don't consider it smut necessarily as the Scenes aren't the main focal point, and the explicitness of them is usually to (try to) convey something other than eroticism. If the thing I'm trying to convey (awkwardness, vulnerability, shame, desire, angst, being conflicted, etc) would be showcased well by an explicit moment, I'll include it to an extent. Otherwise, no

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, though I'm sure with all the AI scraping etc it's gone... somewhere

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several! I get why some don't like it, but I love seeing my stuff in other languages and as long as someone asks first and links back to me I think it's really cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly! But Rat au and Gremlin au were both originally made in close collaboration with/big inspiration from Ms_Myth, in fact she even wrote a rat au prequel! I've written a few things based off of prompts others have come up with, too, and those phics are typically gifted to the person on ao3

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Erik and Christine

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I would like to think I will finish them all, one day :') I do have a few aus I've shelved for various reasons tho

What are your writing strengths?

Angst lol.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I misspell "Christine" twelve different ways and at this point I can't tell the difference ;-; Pacing can also be a struggle

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

LotR or Star Wars, but both are so expansive and I'm afraid if I get started in them I won't finish my poto wips... So maybe one day, idk. A ship I'd like to write is Erik/Carlotta lol

What's your favourite fic that you've written?

This is so hard to choose lol omg. I'm currently really enjoying my hotel au, which is only an unpublished wip at the moment except for this. But as far as finished/published stuff, I'm going to have go with Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thank you @brendadaaedestler for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

30 as it stands!

What's your total AO3 word count?

591,986

Your top 5 stories by kudos:

Sticky Notes and Serendipity // collab with @brendadaaedestler // Erik/Christine long-fic // 224 kudos

Say You'll Share With Me // oneshot collection, mostly Erik/Christine // 143 kudos

Our Little Home // oneshot // Erik/Christine // 139 kudos

Starting Fresh // twoshot // Erik/Christine // 99 kudos

my heart is home when my hand is in yours // oneshot collection, collab with @brendadaaedestler // mostly Erik/Christine // 83 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always do! I love seeing readers interacting with my fics and sharing what they enjoyed about them, and I always want to show my appreciation for those comments. The only reason I wouldn't is if I missed it somehow or if my frequent co-author has beaten me to the punch and replied already.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It's probably Sleep So Long Awaited, which is a play on the end of LND where Erik dies instead of Christine. It's sad, it's got sad Gustave, a moment of peace between Erik and Raoul, and...well, Erik dies. It's not a happy story.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I would definitely say Sticky Notes and Serendipity! The epilogue hasn't gone up yet, but it's super fluffy and sweet, and the entire fic just came to such a happy, wonderful ending. You'll see what I mean on Saturday 😉

Do you write crossovers?

I don't, no. I might write fics inspired by another piece of media, but I wouldn't think I would ever write a proper crossover.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not direct hate? I once received some criticism that was DM'd to me that was definitely not asked for and unnecessary, so that sucked. It was really a big blow to me, and I considered taking down that fic after receiving that comment because it made me super insecure about the entire format of the fic. It came from a person who had been very supportive of my stories for a long time, which made it even worse. Thankfully, my best friend convinced me not to take the fic down, and my critic has now been exposed for not being a good person, so it all worked out in the end.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't write it and I won't be writing it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, I have had my fics scraped and posted on other websites at least twice, either by bots or by another user.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not! Someone offered to translate Like Father, Like Son, but my coauthor on that story was not keen on the idea. It's something I would have to consider because I think I would worry too much about my style and plans for the story being lost in translation and I wouldn't be able to really tell. I wouldn't totally write it off, though!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ohhhh yes! Like Father, Like Son was my first collaboration, and I write probably about half of my fics these days with my best friend @brendadaaedestler. We have something in the works for NaNoWriMo as we speak!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Definitely Erik/Christine, I love writing with them and reading about them so very much.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

It's not one that I don't think I will ever finish, but I think it will be a while before No Need For Goodbyes ever gets finished. I would love to go back to it, but I've been away from that cast of characters for so long that it can be hard to slip back in. My coauthor also no longer has the time to work on it with me, and it is a very time-consuming project, so I'm not sure when I will get back to it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think that dialogue is definitely my strength. It comes very easily to me and it's something that I always enjoy getting to write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting lost in the dialogue! Sometimes I get so caught up in what the characters are saying and the emotions that they're expressing that the writing can get dialogue-heavy. I always have to make a conscious effort to include scene descriptions, settings, and descriptions of the character's bodies and expressions.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

This is an interesting question that I honestly don't think about a ton lol? I've always been pretty content writing Phantom fic and don't really have the inspiration to jump into other fandoms. Shipwise, I've only written sporadic Meg/Erik fic and only a long time ago, so that one could be fun to explore. There is angst there.

What's your favourite fic that you've written?

It was Like Father, Like Son for the longest time because it was my first Phantom of the Opera fic, my first long fic, I loved the characters, etc. I'm still super proud of that story, but I think Sticky Notes and Serendipity takes the cake. It's my first true multi-chapter fic since LFLS, and I can just see how much my style has changed, how much my writing has improved, and it makes me feel really good about myself. I am in love with the versions of the characters that we wrote, and getting to work so much with Erik's anxiety and making it feel so authentic was a crowning achievement for me. Also, seeing all of the love for the story that Chloe and I have written together makes me feel so amazing. Sticky Notes is my favourite for so many reasons.

Tagging: @starlitexpress @intothemertensverse @sloanedestler @ablatheringblatherskite @shinyfire-0 @paperandsong @jennyfair7 and anyone else who wants to play!

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[musical-chick-13]

Oh not me avoiding a wildly popular piece of media that I’d probably actually like out of sheer spite.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[misskamelie]

Let's play a fun game of "is it my lack of (good quality) sleep? Is it pms? Is it stress? Am I hungry? Is it just some sort of actual light form of depression?"