#....i dont want ti show my face in class........... kill me as fuck

[hysenty]

me when im too trapped in my own head to work, paralysed by all the tasks i need to do

one strongly worded email later:

[trophyhugger]

.

my eyes are small

i have a moustache

i have bad acne

my breath stinks bc i dont brush my teeth

im lazy

i cvt myself

i make up my own gods just to feel like someone cares about me

i was stalked at 12 by one of my classmates who took a pic of me while i was undressing in my room and sent them to his cousin who then flirted with me and called me gorgeous and pretty (ive been paranoid since and my immediate reaction to even seeing a shadow behind my blinds (which most of the time is a tree) is to run to the kitchen and grab a knife, i also feel watched 24/7 ever since that happened

same guy tried to break into my house many times, recently him and another classmate of mine followed me home, asking if they can come in, ignoring when i was saying no, they kept playing with me like i was a puppet by pulling me back and trying to grab me when i tried going faster to go back home already, one of them kept recording me while it was happening because it was jst that "funny", ever since then im terrified of leaving school because i think one of them might follow me home

i react with trying to kill someone with spirituality when i dont like someone

my humor is shit

i wear the same stuff everyday because i have no style

my dad hates me

ive been told that im lucky to have the parents that i have now because other families wouldn't allow me to just skip school whenever i want and would be more strict when it comes to school, and even though im in an all abusive household im scared of actually calling cps because im scared that what they said is true and that id be treated worse than i am now

im s3xually harassed everyday

my p.e teacher is coming back in a few months (he's a pedo) (specifically for me)

nobody talks to me at school

nobody likes me

i was shamed for my weight by my father at just 12 which caused me to have body issues ever since, i was 66 kilos back then, now im 45 and still get judged by my own parents for it.

im boring

im stupid and the only reason why the only classes im good at is english, computer and art class is because I've been chronically online since like 5 years old

i rarely go outside

i was taught that going to a psychologist or therapist or in general someone who could actually help me would be a punishment, "ill send you to therapy" would develop into a threat, after showing signs of neurodivergence by stimming around my parents once my dad called me sick and said im on the same level as people who have down syndrome or a physical disability in general, and that I'd be tied up and sent to a mental hospital and spend the rest of my life being seen as insane if i ever acted like that again, my mom tried to "help" by saying that "maybe he is sick", i am now unable to actually see therapy as a good thing because i gen think ill just be seen as crazy and get sent to a mental hospital if i ever show signs of needing help

i rarely shower

i get jealous easily

my own mom tried to k1ll me at 8yo and threatened me with a knife when i was 6

my dad ALSO m0l3st3d me at 7 after he got drunk cuz hes an alcoholic (i remember i told him "dad please dont drink so much today" since it was during a party) (i was 7)

i get touched inappropriately at school and the staff wouldnt give a shit even if i told them because its just "jokes"

^^^ everyone that i trusted that includes my own EX best friend laughed when i told them about it xd

i got told multiple times during school that I'll be bred and have my face fucked

when i was 9 i cvt myself using scissors because i thought its fun, when my mom noticed since i did them on my hands she, instead of asking why or comforting me, asked if i "really have it that bad" and accused me of being in a cult and c4rv1ng "symbols" onto myself (she never gave a shit she just assumed i was the problem)

i got s3xually harassed many times by my family members, classmates, school staff, and drunk strangers

i was also gr00med online many times

ive been told that im annoying and weird ever since i was only 5 years old and everytime i see the word annoying now i tear up like a baby because im stupid (last time i got called annoying for infact being annoying i c4rv3d the word annoying onto my thigh)

im easily replaceable and have absolutely 0 friends irl

im weird

the only times when im liked is when im silent and sad instead of happy and energetic

i suck at everything

i cant draw

i cant do simple math

i cant do simple chemistry

i cant do simple physics

my own father called me embarrassing for getting a bad grade at something yesterday

me cvtting myself is the funniest joke ever when it comes to my class it seems

im too much of a coward to actually kms even though that'd be the best option

i think im fat even though im only 45 kilos

im not manly enough (im not a real boy) (i never will be)

the only safe space i ever had is the internet and the only reason why is because i can say whatever i want on it

i talk to objects irl because i dont have anyone else

im even socially anxious online

the only reason im alive still is because of trophy ii nyan 😛😛😛 my husband ❤️❤️ i lov him so mucj id do it so much earlier if it wasnt for him

[itsmadamehydra]

My Savior || Wayne McCullough

A/N: Just some teenage girl trying to write the story inside her head, hope u like it.

Pairing: Wayne McCullough x oc

Warnings: rape, intention of rape, harassment, blood mention, bullying, language (a little strong)

.................

.................

I've always like to watch him by far, he just seems different from the rest (and oh boy, he is).

The first time I saw him I was in 7th grade. I was just one more girl of the many others that her tities just had started to show and my period started to visit me. I remember that day clearly, I was sitting at the hallway with my bestfriend at the time, eating infront of our lockers when I saw him.

"Am telling ya girl, the answer of number 5 was c." I said trying to reason with her about the science test answers "I told you that if u needed help to study, I could help ya." I smile at her and move my arm upward to touch her shoulder

"Yeah, yeah, I know...are you sure it was not D?" she said frowning her eyebrows once more. We stayed in silence for a sec before bursting into laughter and tears

Little by little our laughs started to fade, allowing ears to hear the background and aswell some loud voices, it sounded like an argument but by the hears of it a fight was going to start soon. "What you think is happening over there?" Cassie murmured, I stared at the end of the hallway where apparently was were the voices were coming from.

"I don't know..." my lips formed a thin line while I was thinking about what could have been happening in there, "You wanna, you know, go and see?" I looked back at my friend

"Freak yeah" she laughed grabbing my hand and running down the hallway to see the soon to be fight.

Once we got there, there was a mass of students surrounding what appeared to be the ones who where arguing. "Ugh, I can't see, I hate been so small." I said, "Hey, that smallness is beautiful and you know you can use that in your own benefit" Cassia said and winked at me.

"I mean, yeah but I can't-" my word stopped at the moment I heard a want sounded and I believe to be a punch in the face. "You saw that!?" Cassie said, "That was freaking awesome, please tell me you saw it!" "Um, nah Cassie, I cant see a crap" i said while trying to find a whole where to see through.

It was only a matter of seconds until more punches were heard. I started pushing people more frantically, I wanted to see what was happening. When I get pass a few amount of studens I almost slipped, looked sown to see what was it and it was stains of blood, only a few but still.

"Oh gosh, disgusting." When I look up only a few students are still in the cafeteria and a guy wearing a grey hoddie was just there, staring at the bloodie face of another guy. I stared back at the hoddie guy and noticed a little hammer in his hand, and the words just came out of my mouth without even noticing, "Why the hammer? Want to be a constructed or something?" He just stared at me and pass by me without saying a word and keeping a neutral face.

"Who the hell was that crazy ass weirdo?" I hear Cassie's voice behind me. "I don't know" I responded, "But I will know...one day."

"Ok,ok, am not going to get in between your little search thingi but am sure he is not good news." Cassie said, "You saw what he did, and he has a FREAKING hammer, y/n! Covered in blood y/n!" She grabbed my shoulders from behind, "I think we all understood the message, stay the fuck away from him, honey."

And I just smiled.

Months later I learned his name. Wayne, Wayne McCullough. Fits the ring if you ask me. Everyone was speaking about how violent, crazy and wierdo he was, about how he was going to show up at your house to beat the hell put of you.

I just observed him by far, well, I like to think that I noticed him. I noticed how he usually beats up those who are some assholes jerks that have only one brain cell as much. Noticed that he is not much of a talker and a shy boy. Noticed how he makes his lips thin when he gets lost in thoughts. How he closes his fist when he is about to do something. His strangely high pain tolerance. His pale skin and dark hair appeared to me to be very llamative and aswell his strength. He was and is skinny but somehow has a great strength, maybe do to the unincredible amounts of fights he gets in. Experience makes the master is what the say...right?

Years went by, we entered to highschool and the nervousness along with the fast beating, sweating and butterflies were still there every time i either tought about him or saw him walking around.

Cassie stayed with me for a while until she decided to join the group of nasty ass bitches with no brain cells who believed no one was better than them. While I...well, I stayed small for a big part I guess, always with good grades, teachers love me and try to be nice with every one I guess.

Everything was going great until Cassie along with some guys recorded me somehow while being drunk and them trying to overpass the boundaries, and let me tell ya.. that was just the start.

The had videos of me at the school bathroom, pictures of my underwear under my skirts and dresses, them trying to touch me. I had to learn to defend myself, stopped using skirts, dresses, shorts even do I loved wearing the. Replace my shoes with tennis and always had hair ties.

"Y/n, wake up! You're going to be late for school, don't think ama wait for you!" I mom yelled.

"Yes, mom! Dont worry, am up!" I run down the stairs with my backpack, went to the kitchen, grabbed an apple and went straight to the car.

"Oh for God sake, y/n" she said went she looked at me and noticed my new hair style.

"What? You don't like it? I just cut it a little." I satered at her innocently

"Your father is not gonna like it and you know it." She said and the stress lines appeared in her forehead, "You know this is his weekend and-"

She couldn't finish her sentence because I started taking, "Am not going to that dickheads house, mother." I said strainly, "Don't want to see his and face of that bitch he cheated you with..." i lowly said but loud enough to hear.

"I know, honey but you have to and besides you get to see your brother!" She patted my thigh, "Haven't seen him in a while right?" She said with a sad tone

"You should be the one seeing him...not me." I stared outside the window, there were just some trees and houses and garbage.

Mom and dad divorced a while back, he cheated on her. The house was a mess that day, screams and broken glass everywhere. Sammy was lucky, he was at grandma's but I was home...listening to every single word. That was also the first time a sneaked out and the first time I sort-of spoke to Wayne.

"What are you doing here?" I heard someone said behind me, I looked and it was fucking Wayne

"Just trying to have some quietness i guess..." I stared at my fingers and started playing with them because of my nervousness, "...What are you doing here?" I asked softly

And he stayed silent...the whole time after that. Either way, his company was nice and the side profile, ufff, amazing.

"Ok, we are here." I stared at the building for a sec before giving my mother a kiss in her cheek and entered to the building.

"Hey y/n! Nice ass!" That was the jerk of all jerks, Jonathan.

I turned around and stared at him, "Oh yeah?" He nodded, "Want to see me shop of your dick?" Changed my tone while saying that into a lower and more serious tone. He just stared at me with sealed lips and left.

I continued walking to my locker and I come to see tgat my freaking lock is broken, I search in all the spaces but nothing is missing.

"Come on! They had just changed me of locker!" I silently yelled. Started grabbing my books for the next few classes when I felt a hand in my shoulder, by instinct I grabbed the wrist, pushed the person against the locker and added pressure in the throat with my other arm.

"Hey y/n" Orlando smiled, "New move?" I chuckled and removed my arm, now, standing face to face I respond

"You know you shouldn't do that Orlando bunny." I laugh st the nickname I gave him a few time ago. Orlando was one of the few FEW people who talked to me, well, he talked to everyone but still.

"I know... I just forgot I guess man." He looked down, "Y/n...have your tities grown bigger?" His face looked confused.

I slapped his head and punched his shoulder, "Could you please stop looking and thinking 'bout tities when am around you?"

"I mean, yeah sure...and sorry about your lock." He points the locker, "Wayne thought it was still his but since-" I cut him off before he could continue

"Wayne?" I asked confused

"Yeah, Is tha-" i cut him off again

"Why did he tho?" I murmured staring at my lock in hand.

"It used to be his locker but oh well...he missed school for 3 weeks and yeah." He grabs his backpacks laces after explaining.

"Oh...ok, is he still here tho?" I looked at Orlando

"I guess..." he was about to say pther thing when the bell ring and we started to go toour classes, "See you later gorgeous!" He yells from the corner of the hallway.

I stayed there...just staring at my lock for a while, then order my things fast and left to class. What I didn't know was that someone was watching at me.

Three days later, i was walking back home and i heard s car going at full speed and nasty comments were started to be listend. I kept walking trying tk pretend they didn't exist when the car is suddenly over the sideway and infront of me.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME ASSHOLES!!" I yelled.

"But...you are bot dead right, bitch?" Jonathan said getting out of the car. There were five, 2 guys and 3 girls. "Don't prefer to suck my dick and be my slut, promise I'll pay a good amount." He said infront of me,

"She is already a slut baby." Veronica said

"I bet she has sleeped with half school, wouldn't surprise me if you haven been org*e or something." You know, comments are comments, you are the one who decide what hurt you and whats does not, but being Cassie the one who said that...broke my freaking heart.

I couldn't stand it anymore, wanted to leave the place so i came up with a plan very fast. I walked closer to Jonathan trying to be the most seductive I could, touched his chest, abs and got closer to his ear and said, "You are going to regret everything" Punched him with all my strenght in this genitiles, stomp on his feet, punched his nose and ran the faster I could out of there.

"You bitch!" I heard from far but i continued running, I couldn't stop, i was scared, didn't know what could happen if the get me. I could hear the car engines behind me, but i didn't stop.

I was close a bridge, ran underneath it, passed some houses but i could still hear the voices and car. My legs hurt, i needed to catch my breath, i could hear my heart beat, my body felt on fire. When I less expected am suddenly trapped, there were some abandoned buildings and warehouses but no way to get put of there. This was it, my end.

"Couldn't escape from me you nasty little bitch!?" I heard his voice, i was never one to pray but believe when i say i begged to God to save me. "You ain't going anywhere...bitch" he was behind me, I could sense it.

My hair was pulled, he pulls me by my hair to his car and i notice that it's just him and another guy. Am not getting out of here.

"We are going to have so much fun!" He licks my cheek and i try to kick him wherever.

"HELP!" I yelled, "SOMEBODY PLEASE, HELP!" my voice sounded horrific, like if i hadn't drank a single drop of water in ages, "please" y murmure my last pledge before he finally puts me over the capo of his car.

"No one's gonna help you, you slut." He says, the other guy was just watching and standing still, doing nothing.

I gave up, didn't even notice I was crying until I tasted the salt in my lips. I felt him over me, unbucking my pants and then...i didnt felt his weight anymore, instead, i heard a cry of pain, and then another cry, and another and another.

I lifted my head and there he was, grey hoddie and little hammer in hand...my savior. I smiled.

My smile just grew bigger and bigger every second I saw that boy swing that motherfucker hammer, every second that Jonathan's blood was spilled. I lool around in search pf the pther guy scared that he might try to grab but I get calm when i see him unconscious on the floor.

A few minuts later th cries stop and i look up, Jonathan was missing 3 teeths and face covered with blood, i think he could even have a brocken rib or something.

Am sitting on top of the car's capo when a feel a slight, fragile touch.

"You ok?" Wayne askes pulling a string of my hair behind my ear.

"...now I am." I smile to him and he returns a little small tiny one with a grin. I was about to say something else when he suddenly speaks

"Want to be my girlfriend or whatever?" He says looking exhausted, I chuckle

"Try a little harder and I might be." I say soflty with a small thin smile and he avoids my eyes but I still get to notice a small blush.

...................

Hey! So, yeah. This is my first ever published thing. Hope you enjoyed it and if you want a part two or to keep writing, am open to any suggestion! Am not very good with the warnings section so if you could help me with it, i would totally apreciate that!

Thank you for reading,

[bubblyqueer000]

🤯(APRIL FOOLS JOKE POST PART 2) Mondo Owada x Me???!?!?!?🤯

Hello!! So I wrote a satire fanfic last year on April fools day shipping my internet persona ‘Bubz’ with Mondo Danganronpa the rat of my dreams. You can find that here. Btw these joke fics are not proofread at all. To add onto that I just got new acrylics and I’m still getting used to typing with them so… Reading this essentially going to feel like you’re having a stroke… Enjoy!

Yoooo it’s Bubz chan again! Back at it again with another LEGIIIIIIT smut fic. It was day whatever the fuck at hopes peak and I was getting my ass POUNDED by my new boyfriend Adam Sandler. I MEANT MONDO OWADA. I SAID MONDO OWADA AND IF YOU THINK I SAID ADAM SANDLER YOU SMELL LIKE MONOKUMA’S COCK AND BALLS. Anyways 🙄. Mondo was absolutely RAILING me.

“*cooms*” and I feel his splooge running down my legs. I was just about to finish faking my orgasm when he pulled out. This was now a daily occurrence.

“I sure am lucky I decided to get my tubes tied that one time when a child killed me in a game of COD (hehe gamer gurl moment)”

“Holy fuck… You play video games… I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i’ve n-n-n-n-n-n-never m-m-m-m-m-met a g-g-g-g-girl who p-p-p-p-plays v-v-v-v-video games” he blushed and I could tell that he came again (I knew because he was nekkid hehehehe) We fucked for 39876787282717382 more hours I mean days I mean years I mean minutes and then left the room.

In the cafeteria was the rest of the other students and they were wondering where we were for so long since we were gone for 39876787282717382 minutes fookin’. Wait how long is 39876787282717382 minutes in years? Hold up let me google it. MONDO AND I WERE FUCKING FOR 75869077782.94783 YEARS??? WHAT THE FUCK??? Okay well I guess the students were waiting for 75869077782.94783 years so for the rest of the fic just imagine us all really really old.

“Greetings fellow kids, please meet in the gym uwu” said monokuma who was now a scrunkly old man. So we all went to the gym because we didn’t want to get killed by an old ass bear.

“Hey fuckos” said wrinklyballsackkuma. “Guess what?? I found some dirt on ur asses and if you dont kill eachother imma show everyone heheheh” then he disappeared because fuck him.

I opened up the letter and inside it was a piece of paper that says ‘Bubz chan is a furry who fakes having DID and tourettes on tiktok’ (THIS IS A JOKE I DON’T EVEN POST ON TIKTOK PLS DON’T CANCEL ME)

I shake and a puddle of yellow liquid starts to form underneath me as I piss myself out of fear.

“Well shit one of yall are gonna die tonight and it’s not gonna be me so later” I say and then mondo and I go back to his room and do the devil’s tango 🤠.

The next morning I woke up and monokuma was on the fucking announcer thing yelling SO. LOUD!!!!!!

“Hey one of you guys died so go find who did it said monokuma” said monokuma.

~~~TIME SKIP TO THE END OF THE CLASS TRIAL BECAUSE I DECIDED TO BE FUCKIN JUNKO ENOSHIMA AND IM NOT USED TO THESE CLAWS YET~~~

“WAIT.. BABE, YOU KILLED CHIHIRO??”

“Yeah soz”

“... AH!” I said offendedly like a girl boss “BITCH IMMA SMACK THE SHIT OUT CHU”

The two of us screamed at eachother and then recited the entirety of ‘I gotta go my own way’ from high school musical 2 while we both sobbed. My eyeliner ran down my face.

“Please don’t cry... My little hot topic employee.” Mondo bent down and licked all of the black tears off of my face. “I’ll be with Daiya now. And when you die we can all have a threesome so it’s okay C:”

“K lol” I say while soobing. Mondo nuzzled my neckie weckie.

“Goodbye Bubz chan. I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too… my buzzy beautiful sunshine nugget.”

AND THEN WE BONED ONE LAST TIME RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CLASS RIGHT BEFORE HE GOT EXECUTED THE END… OR IS IT?????? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 *vine boom*

(No it’s not I’ll post another satire next April. Love ya!)

[milkttea]

can you do some mha boys save you from someone who wont take no for an answer? I dont know if this is your style but i really love your writing! <3

Of course I can! Thank you so much for sending an ask!! Btw I write for just about anything LOL so don’t be afraid to ask!

Also Happy New Year! This year has been tough for everyone so I hope this will help to lessen your nerves! Consider it my gift to you and everyone else!

You were minding your business in the city, having just finished your work for the day. It wasn’t too late in the evening, it just turned to four when you left your apartment. 

While you were walking around you got hungry and deciding that you definitely were not in the mood for cooking, but also not eating something completely unhealthy, you went to a take out place that you frequented.

In line, you’d already decided on what you were going to order before you even walked through the door, you’ve ordered from there that many times. Anyway, you didn’t notice the eyes of a man lingering on your form in a disrespectful way. Disgusting we hate to see it, kill all men.

Getting your food and leaving the little take out restaurant you failed to notice the same man following you out of the restaurant and trailing after you. This didn’t go unnoticed to the hero who happened to be on duty and noticed the man following you out of the restaurant.

At first, he didn’t think much of it and resorted to lightly following you with his eyes. It was when the same man turned to the same street as you did and grabbed your arm that he finally went to see if you may need help.

When you felt your arm get grabbed you immediately became filled with anxiety, turning you met eyes with a man that just screamed danger. 

“Sorry miss, I just couldn’t help but notice your carrying some heavy bags, do you need some help carrying them back to your house?”

That raised red flags immediately in you and putting on the nicest smile you could while trying to not cry you just shook your head.

“No thank you, I’m fine!” You tried to take your arm out of his grip, but his hold only got tighter, “really it’s fine, thank you for offering to help me though.” Your hands were shaking and you felt like throwing up.

“I’m just trying to be nice here, lady. Geez, what you can’t be nice anymore?! I’m trying to help you!“

The man was now yelling at you and his grip on your arm got impossibly tighter and you guessed there would be a bruise there by tonight. 

“Sir please I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t need your help,“ you tried to reason with him.

“You’re so fucking ungrateful, I’m trying to help you you fucking bitch!“

Things were quickly escalating as the man gripped both of your arms now and squeezed them very tightly.

“You’re hurting me! Please let go!”

Before the man could do even more damage a hand reached out to grab his arms and pin them behind his back. Your eyes which had been previously closed opened as you feel the hands of your harasser leave you. Looking at the man you see the pro hero Deku with an angry expression directed towards the man who’s face contorts in pain.

 Deku in question looks away from the man and turns to look at you, his face immediately changing from anger to concern. He quickly takes a capture weapon, typically used on villains, and ties the mans hands together then to his feet.

He makes quick work to look at your arms and check for any injuries you may have gotten.

“I’m so sorry I should have acted quicker I just wasn’t sure what this man was planning on doing and-”

He continues to mutter as he fiddles with your arms, holding them much gentler than he did with the tied up man. You just stare at him in wonder, you’ve never met a pro hero before much less one of the most popular and top pro hero.

“I- thank you so much for helping! I wasn’t sure what would happen, honestly thank you so so much!”

He nods and breathes a sigh of relief, which then moves to concern when you wince and let out a whine at a particular spot he rubbed on your arms. The sound led to less than respectful thoughts and made his face warm up, but he pushed them aside in favor of making sure you were feeling better. 

“Yeah, still pretty upset at myself for not helping sooner though, um do you need any help because I know you can carry the bags yourself but your arm looks pretty bad right now and you winced when I pressed a little hard and the bags might make it worse and I don’t want you to get hurt even more if I can help it-”

You laugh a little at his muttering, it was kind of cute and fit him perfectly.

“Um yeah- I could use the help but just for a bit after all your a pro and there are much more people who need help than me!”

“Oh it’s fine really I don’t mind helping!”

He proceeds to help you carry the bags you have after taking the man to a police station to report him for harassment. You both make idle chatter as you head to your apartment.

“Hey asshole! Leave the girl alone!”

The man, startled, turns around your forearms still in hand and somehow grips them tighter as his eyes land on a less than pleased pro hero. Realizing that he’s been caught he lets go of your arms and stutters out.

“I was just offering to help her! She was being ungrateful!“

This truly was the weakest excuse he could have ever given because the look on Bakugou’s face said it all.

“Don’t try to lie scumbag, I saw you follow her out the restaurant and harass her.”

The man realizing that Bakugou wouldn’t let up he stupidly tries to make a run for it. Bakugou having quick reflexes puts his hand over your eyes and lets off a flash bang that stops the man in his tracks as he furiously rubs his eyes.

“If there's one thing I hate it’s guys that can’t take a NO especially when a person tells you repeatedly.”

Bakugou says this as he grips the mans arm and leads his away to a nearby cop and explains the situation with a huff. He returns to where you are as you just stare at him for a brief second, before eventually letting out a small thank you as you rub at your arms to try to relieve the pain from the tight grip of the man.

“She was an ungrateful bitch! I offered to help her for free! You here me you ungrateful who-!”

Bakugou shares a look with the cop before hitting the guy in the neck, effectively knocking him unconscious. He talks with the cop before making his way back to you.

He notices you rubbing your arm and makes a face.

“Hey

Considering that this whole thing started with you refusing you would accept anyway, but considering the fact that your arms were now in pain it would probably be best for you to get some help.

“Thank you for your help! I really appreciate it.“

You rub your arms as Bakugou looks at you briefly, before letting a slight smile show up on his face.

“Should probably take self defense classes dumbass, you could have seriously gotten hurt,“ Bakugou responds as he follows your lead to your apartment. He didn’t know why he offered to help you, maybe because he felt like you were weak.

Either way, you were happy for his help and waved goodbye to him once you got back into your apartment and gave him a smile.

Ice shot out from seemingly nowhere and froze the mans legs to the ground, the action surprised him and caused him to let go of your arms and you hurriedly backed away from him.

Shocked at what just happened you look around before your eyes land on the pro hero Shoto who offers a slight nod as he goes towards the man with a less than pleasant expression on his face.

“Hey what the hell man?! I was helping the dame out and she wouldn’t take my fucking help! Freeze her not me!”

Todoroki now on the scene blankly states at the man who tries to free himself from the ice as his face lowers into a harsh glare.

“You were harassing this young lady and wouldn’t leave her alone, learn to take no for an answer.”

He freezes the mans hands and legs together before going to your side and making an ice chunk to put on your arms.

“I apologize for not coming earlier I didn’t realize his intentions, I should have acted sooner,” he says with regret laced in his voice.

A little shiver runs down your spine at the feeling of the ice block on your arms, but you offer a smile to him in gratitude.

“I’m just glad you were here when you were, Shoto,” you respond with a slight blush on your face at how close he was.

His face wasn’t too better as he forgets for a brief second that his hero name was his first name, he decided he liked the way his name sounded coming from you. Using his quirk to cool down his face he looks at your bags that have since fallen on the floor.

“I could help you bring your stuff back to wherever to you need to go? Your arms don’t seem too injured, but straining them won’t do you any good,” he hoped he didn’t sound rude, thankfully he didn’t and you let out a slight laugh.

“Yeah I guess you’re right, kind of need my arms to work at their best for my job and life really.”

Todoroki picks up your bags and walks with you towards your residence, waving down an officer on the way and pointing them towards the man who harassed you.

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[spicyfloaty]

Give & Take | Chapter 5

pairing: kacchako

genre: slowburn/fluff

words: 2.7k

summary: Ochako's grades are slipping. Bakugo is dangerously nearing suspension, or worse, expulsion. A certain twist of fate pairs them together for tutoring sessions. He teaches her math. She keeps him from getting suspended. A simple exchange, but what if this only brings them closer than necessary?

header credits: @alexbenedetto

[READ ON AO3]

Chapter Four

Chapter Five: Happy?

It was weird seeing Bakugo in class the following week when he didn’t bother showing up to their second session last Friday.

The next day after their first session, Ochako had made a mental note to arrive 15 minutes earlier than the agreed upon time on their schedule, something about the image of Bakugo waiting for her, leaning against the doorway made her feel queasy. She made sure to bring two pens this time, the lingering thought of their fingers brushing past each other somehow made her feel more like she was going to hurl the whirlpool in her stomach into a glittery mess on the floor.

30 minutes pass and Bakugo is nowhere to be seen. That’s fine, it’s not really like him to show up on time, maybe he’s just running late. The 30 minutes that came after was when Ochako started to have second thoughts. Maybe it slipped his mind? It’s okay, we still have an hour to spare. The last hour goes by and Ochako is already out the door, her imagination had made the ground look like Bakugo with that smug look on his face and her angry footsteps were hellbent on stomping it off him. 

Did her little stunt with the eraser manage to piss him off that much somehow? No, this is Bakugo we’re talking about here. If she actually wanted to piss him off, it would take more than a piece of rubber for her to do that. Her thinking led her to the possibility of Bakugo requesting Aizawa for another student to tutor, she was surprised by the slight squeeze in her chest that accompanied the thought. Would he?  

Ochako slams her head onto her desk before her thoughts could go farther. Why should she care if he did? It just so happened that she needed a tutor and he needed a get out of jail free card at the same time, but it wasn’t exactly necessary for them to be what the other needed. He can do whatever he wants. 

It was only after the voices around her come to a standstill when she realized that suddenly ramming her head on her desk wasn’t the best thing to do when her friends were standing a few feet away from her, “Are you okay, Ochako?” Tsuyu asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine! My hand just um...slipped.” Ochako should really stop zoning out into thoughts about Bakugo around her friends. If anything, she should stop thinking about Bakugo in general.

“Are you sure?” Iida checks, “Your head hit the table quite harshly, you might have a concussion!”

Ochako quickly shakes her head and waves her hands in front of her, “No! I’m okay, don’t worry.” She was about to add to Tsuyu’s topic prior to the sudden interruption her head had made, when Todoroki decided to shift the conversational spotlight onto her, “How was your tutoring session with Bakugo?”

“Good!” She replies almost instinctively, her voice pitching a bit too high for someone who was trying to convince everyone that she was telling the truth. She was though, telling the truth. Their first session had already shown significant results, though it technically only lasted an hour thanks to a certain someone’s silent treatment and the bickering that followed it. The only thing that could turn her remark into a lie was the fact that he didn’t show up the second time around.

Ochako notices the confused looks on her friends’ faces, probably because she answered in such lightning speed, “We, um, it went well.” She adds. Way to go describing it in perfect detail, Ochako.

Everyone seemed to be satisfied with her detailed explanation except for Tsuyu, “Bakugo?”

Ochako almost face-palms herself, but Iida didn’t need more reasons to have Recovery Girl assess her for possible concussions. She had completely forgotten that Tsuyu didn’t know about her situation with Bakugo yet, she hadn't exactly asked about it, let alone brought it up whenever they were hanging out in her room, so she never had the chance to tell her.

“Yeah,” she confirms, “he’s been tutoring me.”

“Since when?”

“Last week,” She doesn't know what came over her, but she decides to paint a better picture for them, “We had a hard time...cooperating at first, but after um--hashing it out, we eventually started to get things done and I feel like it’s helped me improve so far.” She intentionally leaves out the part about her outburst and the singular desk they shared during the whole ordeal, they don’t need to know about that.

Deku was in the middle of asking a question when they hear Bakugo’s booming voice from the other end of the classroom, “Fucking drop it already, dunce face.”

Instead of doing as he says, Kaminari slings an arm around Bakugo, “I don’t know Bakugo, you were in such a rush to bail on us last week, you didn’t even tell us where you were going!” He says tauntingly.

Two questions spring inside Ochako’s head, the first one being: If he were in such a hurry to go to the first one why not bother showing up the next day? And the second one being: So his friends never asked about his meeting with Aizawa? Or did he just not tell them about her?

“All of you can fuck right off.” Bakugo spits, forcefully shrugging off Kaminari’s arm, only for it to be replaced by Kirishima’s.

“Come on, man, why were you in such a hurry to leave us so soon?” He pouts, bringing his free hand to his chest to make it seem like it was wounded by Bakugo’s actions. Kirishima also hits Bakugo’s vicious glare with the full force of his puppy dog eyes.

Sero joins the party, placing his hands on top of Bakugo’s head for his chin to rest on, Ochako couldn’t help but be amazed by the sheer bravery these three had,“You hiding something from us?” He teases, grinning at Bakugo from above.

Bakugo looked like he was three seconds away from exploding, “Another word and I beat all three of you to the fucking ground.” He growls behind gritted teeth.

Just when she thought those three were fearless, Mina approaches the lot with a devilish smile twisted on her lips, “I heard Bakugo was with a certain lady.” She points out in a sing-song voice, elongating the last syllable of her sentence.

A chorus of gasps and howls, the latter mostly coming from Kirishima, fill the room and Ochako doesn’t know if her face grew two shades pinker or just got completely devoid of all color at the implication Mina was trying to push. Sure, he was with her, a lady, during that time, but it wasn’t anything like what she was making it out to be. Bakugo and her? Please.

“I don’t have time for this shit.” Bakugo lifts himself from his seat but the three thorns on his side were quick enough to block his way. Kirishima stands in the forefront of the three-man barrier and even hardens himself in the event that Bakugo does stay true to his word, which was to, and she quotes, beat all three of them to the ground.

“No way we’re letting you go when you’ve been out here bailing on us to fool around with this lady you’ve never mentioned before,” Kirishima says as a matter-of-factly.

“You three fuckwipes have a deathwish or something?” Bakugo snarls. Ochako couldn’t agree more, these three were just asking for it.

“Nah,” Kirishima smirks, “Sero, tie him up.”

“You fucking assho--!” Sero gives Bakugo a little push back to his seat before trapping him in his chair with several layers of tape, “Tell us who she is or we ask Mina instead.” Kirishima threatens.

It’s almost a miracle that Bakugo’s chair doesn’t tip over from him trying to escape in order to accomplish the sentence he roars next, “I’ll fucking kill all of you!”  

“Not talking, eh?” Kaminari’s arms rest on his hips as he turns to Kirishima, “What now, boss?”

“Mina who’s th--Woah!” Sero starts to ask, but it takes all the effort for him to successfully maintain his tapes’ hold on Bakugo from breaking, “Mina, who’s the girl?” Kirishima finishes for him as he turns to Mina, the dirty look on her face only growing more sinister by the second.

“Dont you fucking dare, raccoon eye s.” Bakugo hisses, still trying to pry himself off of Sero’s grasp.

“I don’t wanna expose anyone here so let’s just call her by the name of…” Mina pretends to think about it for a moment, only for a sickening smile to sneak its way onto her face, “OCHAKO URARAKA!”

Everyone's eyes were instantly on her except for Bakugo’s and she begins to wish for that concussion Iida was talking about not too long ago. She’d much rather be in the care of the school’s sweetheart of a nurse than to be in the presence of her classmates’ inquisitive stares and suggestive smiles. She’d follow Bakugo’s example of getting out of here as quick as possible, but it was too late for that. Instead, she hides behind the palms of her hands, hoping for either death or unconsciousness.

Bakugo’s aversion doesn’t go unnoticed by his friends, “So it is true!” Kaminari declares.

“Why don’t you come over here and find out, dunce face?” Bakugo breathes out, seething with malice, “Raccoon eyes already told you didn’t she? So there’s no need for me to be tied up now is there, flat face?” he turns to Sero, a menacing smile filled with homicidal intent twists in his lips.

Sero audibly gulps, “Uh, I don’t know about that, man, you look like you’re just about ready to tear us apart limb from limb.”

“FUCKING RIGHT I WI--” Another piece of tape slaps itself on Bakugo’s mouth.

“Wait! There’s more!” Mina hurriedly adds while jumping excitedly at the extra piece of gossip she’s been holding out on, “I heard from Hagakure, who heard from Jirou, who heard from Momo, who heard from Todoroki that he was also tutoring her! How adorable is that?”

Ochako instantly whips her head towards Todoroki’s direction at the mention of his name, she was already puzzled by the fact that this information had spread like wildfire in such a short period of time, but she never expected the root cause of it to be Todoroki.

Todoroki looked as shocked as Ochako was, it seemed that he was also hearing this for the first time, “She did?” He asks cluelessly.

Momo turns to him, “We were going over last week’s homework and you mentioned that Bakugo and Uraraka were probably doing the same thing during that time.” she explains as if she was teaching a toddler how to spell.

Todoroki stares at his desk for a moment before the memory of that conversation clicks in his head, “Oh.” He turns to face Ochako, “My apologies.”

Before anyone could react or say anything else, Mr. Aizawa enters the classroom. Everyone returns to their seats just in the nick of time. His attention immediately focuses on Bakugo, still very much tied to his chair, muffled profanities coming from the piece of tape still plastered on his mouth.

Mr. Aizawa sighs, “I’m not even going to ask.”

---

Ochako caught up with her friends in the hallway after class, her head still spinning from all the new lectures along with the entire gossip-fueled-dumpster-fire of an ordeal just a few hours ago. Her thoughts drift back to the two questions that had sprung inside her head a while ago, Why didn’t he tell them that this thing between them was mandatory? It’s not like he was the one who offered to tutor her, contrary to popular belief.

Judging by his behavior and overall reactions under the prying questions of his friends, she assumes that maybe Bakugo just wasn’t the kind of person who would open up to anybody so easily, even to his friends. He would have to tell them about his situation with his conduct and how close he was to getting suspended or even expelled if he were to say that their sessions were only pre-arranged and not voluntary. She didn’t think that Bakugo would like to be the center of everyone’s worry, or worse, pity.

Somehow, she understood where Bakugo was coming from. She was practically doing the same thing by hiding her father’s injury and part-time job from her friends for nearly the same reasons. With this understanding, she taps Todoroki on the shoulder, “Todoroki? Is it okay if you try to be careful next time and not mention the meeting with Aizawa to anyone else?”

She turns to Iida and Deku, “The same goes for both of you too.”

“I would like to apologize for my mistake once more,” Todoroki starts, “it was not my place to disclose that to Yaoyorozu.” he says with utmost sincerity.

“Of course, Midoriya and I will also keep that mind.” Iida adds.

“Why though? If you don’t mind me asking,” Deku interjects, “Is everything alright with Kacchan?”

“Yes, it’s just that,” Ochako tries her best to answer him without looking at him directly, “it’s not my place to say, but I think it’s important to just keep it to ourselves for now, okay?”

“Okay.” Deku says reassuringly. Her eyes meet his for a brief moment when she spots a familiar mop of blonde hair behind him, she turns to Iida, “Go ahead without me, I’ll catch up and meet you guys at the cafeteria.”

She swiftly walks past Deku, making her way towards Bakugo, “Bakugo!”

His head snaps back, piercing, red eyes locking her in place again, “What?” He barks. Guess she wasn’t the only one with that ordeal still on the back of their head. She stops right in front of him, suddenly forgetting what she was about to say, so she just blurts out the first thought from the top of her head, “Sorry about what happened a while ago.”

His eyebrows furrow, gaze still boring holes into her skull, “And what the hell are you apologizing for?”

“Well,” Her eyes avoid his gaze, “I should’ve said something back there.” She could have ended any sort of implication that the two of them were a thing had she only spoken up about it before it got out of hand.

He lifts an eyebrow, “Like what?”

“Well for starters, the fact that we aren't dating.” She points out.

“Tch, that’s pretty obvious.” Bakugou rolls his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.

“That’s not what they thought a while ago.” She retorts, folding her arms on her chest this time. She wasn’t about to let Bakugo intimidate her, two can play this game.

“Who cares what they think?” Bakugo spits, “If you want to tell them, then go right ahead, but if you’re just gonna waste my time bitching about something you can do yourself, I suggest you fucking beat it, round face.” His glare sends shivers down her spine, How is he so good at that?

Ochako sighs, “Nevermind,” then finally remembering the reason why she approached him in the first place, “I came here to talk about last Friday.”

“What about it?” He snaps.

She narrows her eyes at him, “You know what.”

“I just missed one day, round face, missed me already?” That smug look that she hated so much makes its way into his face again, the corner of his mouth twisting into a punchable grin.

She couldn’t roll her eyes far enough in response to that, “I sat there for two hours waiting for you.” She places both hands on her hips before she gives into the growing urge to punch him, “Where were you?”

“I don’t remember it being your business to know where I am and how I spend my time.” He retorts.

She throws her hands up in frustration, “It is my business since you’re the one who stood me up!” She instantly feels the eyes of the students passing by land on her. Ochako’s face flushes at how she phrased her words. She won’t be able to blame them if they thought that what they just saw was a couple in the middle of a heated argument and to make matters more suggestive, she adds, “It’s like you’re not even serious about this!”

Bakugo looks at her dead in the eyes when he says, “I am serious.”

An exasperated sigh escapes his lips as he raked his fingers through the blonde knotts of his hair, “If I tell you, will you leave me alone?”

“Try me.”

Bakugo’s eyes darted away as he spoke, “My mom was sick,” he began, his hand reaching for the back of his neck, “I went home to cook for the old hag.”

Ochako just stands there, feeling stupider with every passing second. A surge of guilt floods her as she imagined Bakugo taking care of his mother while she was at school, pretending that the floor was his face and before she could apologize, Bakugo interupts her, “And before your dumbass apologizes, she’s okay now.” He looks away once more, eyes focused on the ground as he turns away, “You got your answer, now scram.”

“Wait!” She catches his sleeve before he could get any farther.

Red eyes, blazing with burning inferno meet hers, “What now?!”

“Can I get your number?” She hastily asks.

The creases on his forehead disappear and the flickers of flame inside his eyes dim to a look of complete and utter confusion, “Two minutes ago, you said we weren’t dating.”

She immediately lets go of his sleeve, quickly shaking both hands in front of her, “No! Not like that ! It’s so we’d have some sort of way to let each other know when something like that comes up again!”

Bakugo studies her for a while, “What if I said no?”

Ochako’s face gawks at him, “You wouldn’t.” She regretted it the moment she said it when she saw the glint of competitiveness in his eyes. She should’ve known better than to tell Bakugo Katsuki what he could and couldn’t do.

He grins, “Watch me.”

Ochako missed the opportunity to grab onto his sleeve again as he disappeared into the sea of students beginning to flood the hallway. A knot forms in the pit of her stomach. An unpleasant, annoying, borderline infuriating knot with Bakugo’s name written all over it.

It’s not until she receives a text from an unknown number hours later, during her shift at work that this knot comes undone, sending a wave of relief flurry inside her veins and maybe just a few butterflies in her gut.

Unknown Number: Happy?

Another text follows immediately after.

Mina: GIRL BAKUGO JUST ASKED ME FOR YOUR NUMBER !!!!!!!

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

[hyunsracha]

path of night — seo changbin

word count: 2.4k

summary: changbin thinks you’re really great.

it’s 2018. witches are … Okay.

like ppl aren’t KILLING them anymore but a lot of people don’t even believe in them and like witches don’t go around Telling people they’re witches

but ppl wear them as halloween costumes and the real witches just have to :)

speaking of witches … seo changbin!

he’s only half witch but shhhhh

his mother is a human, but she studied witches so obviously when his dad was like “uhh yo i'm a warlock ?? lol” she was like “ok yea.”

and they fell in love and had a changbin!

they live in a big ass victorian house on the edge of town, which basically screams, “we’re the only family of witches in this town! look at our big, spooky house!”

changbin doesn’t understand why they didn’t just get a fuckin house in the suburbs

his familiar is a raven named Prince of Darkness (he was like 14 ok he was going through his emo phase) and they're bros

sometimes Prince just shows up and caws and changbin caws back and it’s cute !

changbin’s mortal best friend, chris, thinks it’s fucking weird

“u have a pet raven.”

“yeah.”

“why?”

“like raven.”

“freak.”

so when changbin was 16, he had to choose between his mortal and his witch side.

and obviously he chose the witch side

why tf would he give up such epic powers?

the downside though … was that he had to leave

since he decided to go down the Path of Night, he would move to salem and go to the largest division of the academy for witches

and he Thought about telling chris that he was moving to an Elite Boarding School For Smart People but chris would not believe that .. so it was time to fess up

“hey so uh ….. i may or may not be a warlock”

“a who”

“u know . like sabrina the teenage witch . but …. changbin”

“OH ???? IS THAT HOW U PASSED BIOLOGY???”

“i mean yeah but u DONT HAVE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD!!”

so with that loose end tied up, changbin packed his shit (and his bird) and moved to salem !!!!

there, he meets minho, a year older, and hyunjin, in the same year (i'll do ages as i want thank u very much) and they all become bros !!!

ur only allowed to bring One familiar to school . and minho has Three . so his familiar is ……………. all three of his cats

he put on a spell on them so they all just became one cat but it’s completely reversible !! when he goes back to his room he frees his kitties from their kitty cell

“minho wtf do u mean that’s Three cats there’s only one.”

“OH YEAH?? OK! *mf does reversal spell*” *three cats appear* *they start running all over the common area* “FUCK!!!!”

and hyunjin’s is a lil pup named kkami

“kkami is an ugly name for a familiar”

“UR BIRDS NAME IS PRINCE OF DARKNESS?? SHUT THE FUCK UP??”

changbin does Okay in school . he does better than he did in Mortal School

“wtf do u mean we still have to learn algebra”

“we still need witch accountants, mr. seo.”

“i still need a Will To Live, mrs. kim.”

changbin liked to keep quiet about his family.

he knew that “half-breeds” got made fun of a lot, and were treated as lesser witches, so he just kept his mouth shut and avoided family talk.

it took about a year for his secret to get out.

he was sitting in the dining hall with hyunjin and minho Minding His Own Goddamn Business when a mr Jaebum walks in

jaebum was a few years older than minho; he would be graduating soon

he slid into the seat across from changbin, sending him a sinister little smile,

“hello, half-breed.”

the dining hall went silent.

changbin froze.

“i don’t know who the FUCK you think you’re talking to-”

“it’s okay, min. he’s right.”

minho and hyunjin: JFSGJBDB;L?

of course, that didn’t Change anything

changbin was their FRIEND

and he was a good warlock so ??? who fuckin cares

jaebum, apparently

changbin stared down at his tray, tears blurring his vision

he’s sensitive :(

minho saw his eyes watering and almost fucking HEXED JAEBUM

hyunjin held his hand under the table what a good boy

jaebum didn’t stop there, though

“you should go back to your mortal school and learn your stupid mortal things you useless-”

“what the fuck did he even do to you? why do you care?” omg minho u legend

“he’s not like the rest of us. he doesn’t deserve to go here.”

“hey jaebum have you ever tried shutting your fucking mouth?” a new voice spoke

everyone turned to face this new voice

oh look! it’s you! with ur lil entourage (it’s literally 2 ppl) behind u

“excuse me?” jaebum stood. he wasn’t the tallest guy, but he could be Quite Intimidating. u didn’t back down though.

“you heard me. you might want to watch your tone, though.”

“oh yeah? and why would i do that?”

“you shouldn’t speak to a l/n like that. who knows what would happen if my father found out.”

another hush fell over the dining hall.

everyone knows the l/n family. they have to, the l/ns are only one of the most powerful witch families in the whole World.

your father was on the Witch’s Council, along with the fathers of your two friends behind you, seungmin and jisung

the three of you grew up in salem and were homeschooled by seungmin’s mom, so the three of u have been best friends for ur whole lives

and the three of u turned 16 this year so !! here u were

today was ur first day, and when u walked into the dining all, u saw jaebum teasing a poor kid

and that doesn’t fly with u

the three of u put ur trays on the table when jaebum leaves

“tell me if he gives you a hard time again, yeah?”

changbin is??? JSKLGJS???

A L/N?? JUST STOOD UP FOR HIM??

minho, changbin, and hyunjin all look like :0 and you, seungmin, and jisung are just staring back like :]

and that’s how ur lil squad forms !!!

u, jisung, and seungmin are the youngest so u don’t have classes with them, but it’s fine !

lunch exists for a Reason

“for eating.”

“shut up, jisung.”

but you guys spent all your free time together ! and u guys really clicked !

its like u were destined to be friends (◕‿◕) it was written in the stars (◕‿◕)

but out of your three new friends, you were closest to changbin

maybe it was bc you stood up for him on the first day, but there was just Something Different about him, yk?

sometimes the two of you would sneak off campus at night to go watch the stars in the woods

u guys would cast dumb little spells at each other

one time u turned him into a goat ON ACCIDENT but he was

So mad.

so he turned u into a chicken and it was.

a fun night!

your familiar was a bat, so she would go and fly away with prince and i’m sure they had a good time

you just felt so? nice with changbin

you could talk about anything and everything for hours on end and never get bored

little did u know, changbin felt the same way!

but he came to the conclusion faster than u did:

“oh man i think i like y/n.”

“i know.” hyunjin said from the bottom bunk.

those two were roommates. yes it’s just as chaotic as it sounds.

“WH- WHAT DO U MEAN U KNOW?”

“bro its so obvious? y/n breathes and ur like omo look how cute!”

“i don't say omo.”

“omo!”

“ur literally useless.”

“AM NOT.” hyunjin sat up, “I could help you two get together.”

“hell no.”

“omg we’re all going to hell so i’m taking that as a yes! see u later, binnie!”

“WHERE ARE U - ok he’s gone”

hyunjin ran over to ur dorm, Aggressively knocking on the door.

“hyunjin ur gonna make ur knuckles bleed if u do that any harder.”

“SEUNGMIN ! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !”

“W-W-W-yes?”

(seungmin is kind of in love with hyunjin but honestly who isn’t)

“i’m looking for y/n.”

“you found them.” you said from behind hyunjin, making him nearly Jump Out Of His Skin.

he dragged you away from your dorm, leaving a very confused seungmin in the doorway.

“this is super important sneaky sneak business, okay?” hyunjin sat you down at a table in the library. he sat across from you, taking your hands in his.

“you’re being weirder than usually, hyunjin.”

“i need you to be honest with me,” he stared down into your eyes, using that glare he used when jaebeom was Anywhere near you guys.

“are you trying to cast a spell on me right now, hwang?” you glared back, pulling your hands away.

“N-No!”

“YOU WERE TRYING TO DO THE TRUTH SPELL!”

“THIS IS A LIBRARY BE QUIET!”

“Fine. Why are you trying to put the truth spell on me?”

“do you like changbin?”

“of course i do, we’re friends-”

“no, y/n, you dumb bitch,” hyunjin sighed, pressing his palms against the table, “like. do you Like Like him?”

you furrowed your brow, wondering why the Hell he would ask you something like that.

i mean … you had never thought about changbin like that …

and it wouldn’t be Terrible to date him …

he was funny … and nice … and a good warlock …. and cute …….. and you’ve held his hand before ……….. that was nice ……………… and maybe you’ve thought about kissing him but Only once or twice !!!

oh man

“oh man. i think i like changbin.”

“oh thank fucking god, it would’ve been really awkward if you didn’t.”

“HUH???”

“i have 2 go.”

and hyunjin left you. very confused. in the library.

so hyunjin NYOOMS back to his dorm

yk how he does with his long ass legs

“hello tiny roommate.”

“absolutely go fuck yourself.”

“ok….well i have tea…...and i guess ur not getting it…..”

“hyunjin you fucking local its 2019 why are u still saying that.”

hyunjin pouted, “so u DONT wanna know that y/n likes u back??? ok FUCK u then!!” he climbed into his bed.

wait for it…..

“oh fuck.”

“Y/N LIKES ME????? HUH???? HWANG HYUNJIN!!!!!!”

“oh my god ur so loud JUST. confess or sumn u big idiot.”

hyunjin be like [ napping noises ]

changbin be like [ PANICKED NOISES ]

how is he supposed to just CONFESS??? that's not EASY

hyunjin thinks its easy bc he’s never confessed to Anyone

everyone confesses to Him

its scawy :(

but changbin Is Not A Coward

(yes he is)

the next day at lunch, changbin is …. Off

“hey binnie!” u put ur tray down next to him and send him a Big Big smile

the butterflies in his tummy go HFJSKGGJ and he goes “hey!” but his voice cracks

he flushes a bright cherry red and u think he's the CUTEST BOY EVER

but he keeps squeaking and blushing and can't exactly look u in the eye :(

how is he supposed to when he knows that U Like Him !!!! u like him !!!!!

he’s in his last class of the day (algebra - gag) when he thinks of an idea

and it’s a good one too !!!!

“that’s the worst idea i’ve ever heard.”

“shut up seungmin if hyunjin did that for u u’d literally cry.”

“WH - I - get out of my room.”

u get a text from changbin that says “meet me in the common room!! it’s importante (that’s spanish for important)!! ^.^”

his little emoticon u go <3____<3

so u text back “okie!!” and get ready to go to the common room

it was like . 11pm . but u didn't really think about that

u and changbin hang out a lot at that time so !

the common room was Empty when u got there

“Hello??? binnie???”

no response

u cast a lil spell to make a light appear on the tip of ur finger (u literally could’ve just . Turned on the lights . but this is more fun) and sit by the big statue of Satan himself and Wait.

ur only waiting for like 30 seconds when u hear It

singing???

hello???

u instantly recognized the song bc U Loved The Song

it was zion.t’s no make up and u went [ caveman spongebob ]

WHO IS SINGING

WHY ARE THEY SINGING

the light on ur finger went out as you clenched your fist, looking around for the source of the voice

the lights in the common room came on; dimly, but still on.

and rose petals started to fall from the ceiling

this was weird

pretty! and u were kind of on the verge of tears! but pretty!

and then u saw him

Seo Changbin.

why is seo changbin singing to u

since when can changbin Sing like that???

“changbin-”

“SHHSHSHSHHSH let me talk before i lose my confidence!!!

so…..you’re…..really great.”

“thanks.”

“I SAID LET ME TALK. you’re really great. really Really great. and i think …. i think we get along really well. like……..we’re bros, right? wait- bros probably isn’t the best word for this- oh my god.”

“changbin...are you...trying to say something?”

“i like you !!! and i know you like me back-”

“HUH”

“hyunjin has a big mouth.”

“oh my god.”

“yeah.”

there was silence for a moment.

what are you supposed to do now?

you were happy.

u were fricking Ecstatic!!! changbin liked u back!!!!

u were gonna kill hyunjin but!!! yippee!!!

“so do i just….are we- are we a thing now?” changbin broke the silence

“oh!” you stood from your spot on the floor, “y-yeah!”

“ok sick …. so i can do this now-” he made his way towards you, grabbing you by the waist and pressing his lips against yours.

his other hand came up to hold your face, and you were glad that he was holding your waist so tightly or you might’ve fallen down, your knees were so weak.

since when can changbin Kiss like that

“i-in front of satan and everybody, huh…” you giggled after he pulled away.

“satan’s fine. i’m sure he loves a good teen romance.”

“you’re an idiot, seo changbin.”

“but i’m your idiot :DDD”

and your first order of business as a couple : Operation Seungjin.

[mistyechoes]

so i inserted a character into danganronpa 1 and 2 and i really like her so i wanted to share her on my main. get ready for me to get all professional and shit

also don't mind my shitty art. i cant keep her face consistent and my art style is atrocious but idk how else to show her to u all so

Sumire Hoshi, the Ultimate Actress (1st game design)

She is part of a sort of self-indulgent au (she started off as a reflection of me, as most of my characters do). She's a lesbian, and acts incredibly bubbly so that they dont see her sadness (we'll get into that later). She befriends Byakuya in this (cuz i actually like him while basically no one else does).

Byakuya isn't the only one she befriends though. She becomes friends with Leon, Mondo, Chihiro, Taka, and Sakura. She copies all of their sprites after they die (minus Byakuya, obviously).

Her backstory is: Her past girlfriend was basically a tsundere. Super mean, but they both liked each other. They ended up getting together. But a while into them dating, her girlfriend killed herself. Sumire had no idea why. She had acted just like her normal tsundere self all this time, so why...? She usually was able to sense when people were acting, too... But she remembered that she had told her girlfriend tips on how to act convincingly. So now, she immediately tries to befriend mean people in the same way she befriended her past girlfriend. So that explains why she was so quick to try and help Byakuya.

I was also thinking about how she wouldn't have an alibi for the chapter 5 murder and could also be executed. The game would continue on, but they would eventually fail (for a reason I don't know yet) and get another bad ending.

That's all I can think of for her 1st game appearance for now!

Unfortunately I have literally no clue how to draw her, so I used this as a little guide to how she would look. I basically searched "lesbian fashion" or something and modified one of the pics a little. (she probably wouldn't have the hat actually, but im too lazy to remove it so)

In this game, she shows up after everyone introduces themselves, and perpetually knows all their names (besides imposter, obviously. she had a good laugh at their appearance). She's always missing during free time events, and nearly always seems to carry a backpack. In game, you would never learn what's in her backpack, besides the journal because it was shown in the photo of the party.

Also, a super important thing! She doesn't have a cottage (she was put in too late to program that) and Monokuma gives her handcuffs for the entirety of nighttime, to limit her ability to talk with the future foundation.

Oh and also, she's super pissed at them for making the password 11037.

In all the class trials, she figures out who the culprit is pretty fast, because she has experience with these tricks. She never says anything though, as everyone is similar to the her classmates. In chapter 3, she figures out the culprit super quickly because she can sense Mikan's act. She does actually battle with Hajime, and while she's proven wrong, she's proven right later in the trial (idk what about).

In this AU, Nekomaru dies from the attack and never becomes a robot... which gives you a good idea of what happens next. Though I think I need to work out a few things, cuz they don't line up with the murder. In chapter 4, she notices that her handcuffs are taken off and heads over to the tower. She meets with Gundham, and after briefly petting his hamsters, they fight, and he wins. He does the same thing to Sumire as he did to Nekomaru, and ties her up. She wakes up 30 minutes later, and it goes the same way the original murder went.

She of course is still alive in real life, so after this all happens, she stays with the remnents for a bit. (I didn't watch the anime, so I have no clue what happens).

...and that's basically it. Sorry, I'm so bad at exciting endings.

Extra Stuff! I like to imagine Byakuya and her being great friends and fucking with each other at the future foundation. Like Sumire would constantly kick his door open, so he would too.

Byakuya could also just wordlessly walk into her office and Sumire would know to go out and get rid of Toko/Syo.

I like to think about them playing ace attorney together, idk why lol

Also, she stands with one hand behind her back. She says it's because people will see it as her normally standing if she hid anything behind her back.

I might add more to this idk lol

Sorry if this is too long/boring, she's my favorite OC so far (I haven't made many) so I wanted to share her!

[zenosanalytic]

Great Beasts of Legend: Centaurs, Sirens and Chimaera: The Greeks and th...

I know I’ve posted this lecture by Dr. Jeremy McInerney before, but I was watching it again(third time; really love this one uwu) and at 41:55 he starts a discussion of a boundaries-based reading of Centaurs(good target for that given the melding/muddying of boundary btw animal and man Centaurs represent[1]), beginning with the Herakles, Deianira, Nessos Myth that I feel he doesn’t quite hit though he makes/brings up other great points and it made me want to write a short little thing about why this myth, specifically, is really open to such a reading:

Ok so the basic outline: Herakles and Deianira are traveling, they come to the river Evinos where Nessos[2], the Centaur, is selling his services as a living ferry(ppl sit on him and he carries them across). Herakles, of course, decides to swim across and pays Nessos to carry Deianira across. While doing so, Nessos attempts to rape her, Deianira calls for help, and Herakles whips out his bow and arrows dipped in Hydra’s blood, and shoots Nessos dead. As he dies but before Herakles reaches them, Nessos tells Deianira to take a vial of his blood(sometimes blood mixed with his semen). The story splits interestingly here, so remember this point for later. Years down the road, Herakles is off in some part of Greece partying in celebration of yet another city he’s plundered, and he sends a train of new slaves taken from said city-plundering back home, along with a messenger with an off-hand request to Deianira that she send his favorite cloak along cuz he plans to keep partying for quite a long while. This is another point of ambiguity in the story and its retellings so remember it, too. She steeps his cloak in water mixed with the vial of Nessos’s blood, sends it along and, while the poison doesnt kill Herakles cuz he’s part god and Hydra’s poisonous blood isn’t powerful enough to do that, it DOES cause him such enormous, unending pain that he builds his own funeral pyre and burns himself alive, apotheosizing into a god in the process.

So, regarding Boundaries:

Nessos, obvsl, is a physical manifestation of the close and ever-present boundary between humans and beasts; btw self-control and indulgence; btw “civilized” behavior and “uncivilized”, as discussed above, and particularly of the threat of rape Greek men present to Greek women.

This story involves a River, a physical boundary

Rivers are ALSO what separate the world of the living from the world of the dead to the Greeks, and this is a story ABOUT TWO DEATHS, both tied directly TO a River(one taking place in it, during the act of crossing it; the other a long-term effect of that event[but also Herakles’s hubris, though most versions, being written for men, don’t emphasize that totally obvs aspect of it]).

Not only that, it’s LITERALLY the story of Herakles’s apotheosis: of how he comes to finally transcend the boundary between God and Mortal which he has straddled his whole life.

Herakles is celebrating the sack of a city, ie, his violation&destruction of the Boundaries defining said city, when he dies. Greek cities are often protected by female divinities(Athena usually), so it’s yet another symbol of rape.

So Split 1: In most versions, the reason Nessos gives for why she should take his blood is that it is a powerful love potion that will ensure Herakles remains faithful to her if his eye ever strays. BUT, also in most versions, this is a lie and he’s secretly trying to poison Herakles, though how would he know Herakles’ arrows are poisoned with Hydra-blood? I remember reading a version where he presents it to her AS POISON, explaining about the Hydra, but I cant find any mention of it online, so maybe my brain’s just making it up(or maybe this was the Hercules TV Show version X|).

Split 2: BUT BUT, while in most version Deianira sends the cloak out of desperation to keep him faithful(and of course there’s a particular slave girl in the train she’s warned about just so all of this can be EXTRA the fault of women, rather than Herakles for being a giant asshole like he always is), in other versions she sends it OUT OF VENGEANCE, TO FUCK HIM UP because Herakles is being a giant asshole, wrecking up Greece, partying as much as he likes, flaunting his rapes and his victims in her face(this is VERY RELEVANT given the nature of other versions of this story), and leaving her to run his household alone while ordering her around like she’s a slave rather than his Wife.

These are mutually exclusive: she cannot be both seeking to punish him, and trying, in anguished desperation, to keep him faithful to her[3].

Herakles in this story, as is ALWAYS THE CASE IN ALL HIS STORIES, is flaunting the boundaries of Proper Behavior, in this case those defining a happy and successful marriage(IE Hera’s Domain; which you’d THINK would be kind of relevant, given the deep narrative connection between Hera and Herakles and her quickness to anger regarding marriage violations, yet it somehow perennially goes unmentioned), and getting punished for it.

Now here’s an ADDED kicker. There’s a version of this story were Herakles initiates the conflict. one day he visits the house of Deianira’s father, Dexamenus, and while a guest, rapes her. Dexamenus can’t fight Herakles, of course, but he demands by the gods and tradition that Herakles marry Deianira to “repair” the injury(WE LIVE IN HELL!), and Herakles agrees. After he leaves to prepare for the wedding, a local Centaur, Eurytion(name meaning “Widely Honored”) visits Dexamenus and proposes to marry Deianira himeself(you know: without the whole BEING HER RAPIST thing), and Dexamenus complies. Herakles arrives a few days later, kills Eurytion, and sees that their marriage is carried out. Presumably in this version, the blood poisoning the cloak would be Eurytion’s.

What I’ve tried to get across here is that, among other things, there are readings of this myth were Herakles is the bad guy and Deianira the agent of divine punishment, if not the actual Protagonist. And those readings suggest certain ideas we would be prone to consider “modern” about the agency of women, consent, personal and social boundaries, morality, Greek ~Heroic Masculinity~, and yes even Centaurs, might not have been so alien and “anachronistic” to the ancient Greek mind as we tend to think.

But anyway, even if you think that particular part of my little argument here is total Bunk, I hope I’ve managed to get across that Deianira and the Cloak is a myth Absolutely LOUSY with the theme of Boundaries, what they mean, what it means to Cross them, and the Consequences for which you Cross, when, how, and plain just choosing to cross them in the first place. It’s a really great example for him to suggest for this particular topic, and it really inspired me quite a lot today, and I just wish there was a lecture online where he developed it further uwu

[1]And not only that, but of course owning horses was a common sign of aristocratic status, and trading horses a common aristocratic activity(this is one way you know Hesiod’s claims of poverty are a put-on; his family breeds and sells horses). I feel like it’s pretty well understood that Centaurs are in someway a commentary and meditation upon the nature of Greek masculinity, on the capacity for violent cruelty and wanton appetite Greeks inculcated men into beside all the talk of civilized society, but I also feel it’s less well understood how open they also are to a similar reading regarding the appetites and barbaric capacities specifically of the upper classes of Greek society.

[2]In some versions Nessos and Herakles actually have a history, and the whole incident is Nessos’s attempt at vengeance. There is another story, where Herakles visits a centaur who is his friend named Pholos, and a gang of nearby Centaurs(I like to think they were Rowdy Teens myself u_u) smell the wine they’re drinking and crash the party to share some. Herakles, being Herakles, of course immediately begins killing them for the perceived insult, which inevitably leads NOT ONLY to Pholos dying(cuz Herakles isn’t careful and shoots him too, or in other vers bcuz he refuses to so much as retrieve his arrows from the bodies due to concerns with “pollution” from the corpses, and Pholos cuts himself on one of the arrows), but ALSO the poisoning, and eventual death, of Chiron, who was one of Pholos’s neighbors and who Herakles accidentally knicked while wildly chasing down and shooting the interlopers. Nessos is one of these Centaur teens, and the only centaur in the whole situation to survive (:T

[3]Which, btw, the whole “faithful” thing doesnt make much sense(even though it pops up regularly in Greek Myth), because her “competitor” in these versions is a slave. These next sentences are going to be gross and awful, but in the society which told these stories male slave-owners already had unrestricted sexual access to their slaves and, beyond that, I’ve never read a single example in Greek or Roman sources of a slave being legitimized and married as a wife(which doesnt mean such examples dont exist; I’m an amateur). So the idea that a slave could threaten Deianira’s position as Herakles’s wife seems very dubious to me(as does the general trope of slave women as threats to wives in Greek stories). Again: this is all super-awful, but it’s something complicating the traditional presentation of the myth, which is rarely addressed because most academics writing for a general audience are super-loath to deal with classical slavery as the awful, body and soul crushing institution which it was.

[sgnjongin]

all the texts~~

😟 a worried text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u get my text last night??[ jolie fille –> ] u havent answered[ jolie fille –> ] yoori gdi fucking answer me its important i gotta know if ur coming tonight or if im gonna be able to actually have some fun[ jolie fille –> ] YOORI

🤡 a goofy text-

[ jolie fille –> ] just a thought but like[ jolie fille –> ] what if we made[ jolie fille –> ] like a suicide pact lol[ jolie fille –> ] u can go first

💖 a loving text-

[ jolie fille –> ] u handled that convo with mr baldy well, nice diplomacy[ jolie fille –> ] i was just gonna punch him in his pretty gold suit[ jolie fille –> ] what a fucktard[ jolie fille –> ] poor doesnt mean stupid what the fuck planet is he on

🤐 an awkward text-

[ jolie fille –> ] this is a bit far fetched but,,,,,,[ jolie fille –> ] did i leave my pants over in the hallway outside ur door??[ jolie fille –> ] can u check for me

💤 a half-asleep text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u survive ur walk back from the library[ jolie fille –> ] did the ghosts get u[ jolie fille –> ] no????[ jolie fille –> ] see i told u shits not real dumbass

😊 a happy text-

[ jolie fille –> ] my mother just called to let us know that dinner tonight will be canceled, no need to show up[ jolie fille –> ] ur free for another couple of hours at least[ jolie fille –> ] and so am i

🤔 a nonsensical text-

[ jolie fille –> ] did u know the chemical they used to make teflon steel is now found in the blood of every single human on the fucking planet?????[ jolie fille –> ] like wtf[ jolie fille –> ] this some hiroshima shit fuck america honestly

🙏 an apologetic text-

[ jolie fille –> ] i’m sorry i was late getting back to the room ok i didnt know u were alone in here with my father did he do something to you did he touch you[ jolie fille –> ] i got distracted i didnt realize[ jolie fille –> ] yoori i see u looking at ur phone, fucking answer me

❎ a text meant for someone else-

[ jolie fille –> ] {attachment opened: dick pic}[ jolie fille –> ] oops that wasn’t meant for u[ jolie fille –> ] that’s for my ~~~~~mistress~~~~~ lol

🕰️ an early morning text-

[ jolie fille –> ] if ur getting coffee, pick me up one too[ jolie fille –> ] just do it i’ll pay u[ jolie fille –> ] isn’t that all u want anyway???? money?????

🌑 a late night text-

[ jolie fille –> ] why are u texting me from 2 rooms away we are literally 2 rooms away yoori[ jolie fille –> ] I’M NOT ABANDONING U IN A HAUNTED HOUSE IM LITERALLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HALLWAY WTF

🥴 a drunk text-

[ jolie fille –> ] youve ee ruinedd everything[ jolie fille –> ] everythtuing[ jolie fille –> ] myy hwole life what why do u think im  fuckcign ilike tis yoori[ jolie fille –> ] becausee of u[ jolie fille –> ] u bithc

🗑️ a text that wasn’t sent-

[ jolie fille –> ] i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate the way you hate me i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you[ jolie fille –> ] one of these days he’s gonna try to make me kill you[ jolie fille –> ] what will i do then[ jolie fille –> ] what would you look like with my hands around that pretty porcelain neck?

👀 a dirty text-

[ jolie fille –> ] idk u look like the kind of girl who likes getting her hair pulled[ jolie fille –> ] if u weren’t such a fucking virgin tho ofc[ jolie fille –> ] like even if ur not a virgin, you put out Strong Virgin Vibes, it messes with my zen honestly[ jolie fille –> ] if u begged nicely enough i could help u with that tho

⚠️ a scared text-

[ jolie fille –> ] can u phone my mom[ jolie fille –> ] she’s not answering me[ jolie fille –> ] maybe she’ll answer u[ jolie fille –> ] i just need her to pick up[ jolie fille –> ] she doesn’t usually not have her phone, u know how she gets[ jolie fille –> ] and i know how my father can get[ jolie fille –> ] with her[ jolie fille –> ] sometimes[ jolie fille –> ] just fucking call her[ jolie fille –> ] now

🚨 an urgent text-

[ jolie fille –> ] do me a solid and turn in my chem homework, its on my desk, clearly marked, dokki is probs sitting on it[ jolie fille –> ] cant do it myself, family emergency

👯‍♀️ a supportive text-

[ jolie fille –> ] look i know ur studying for ur exam tonight so i took the liberty of filling up ur room with clocks![ jolie fille –> ] alarm clocks[ jolie fille –> ] 256 of them ticking~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] so you can find the time~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] to get a fucking life~~~~[ jolie fille –> ] at least u wont miss ur exam[ jolie fille –> ] ur welcome

🔪 a hateful text-

[ jolie fille –> ] you think im weak but at least i wouldnt sell my soul and my pride to the devil for some fucking social standing[ jolie fille –> ] you would never get anywhere on your own without me[ jolie fille –> ] you think you’re so clean but your family sold you to us and you agreed to it, youre still fitting yourself into this role[ jolie fille –> ] i was born here, i dont have a choice, but you? you fucking chose this[ jolie fille –> ] what a gold-digging slut you are[ jolie fille –> ] you and my father deserve each other

😢 a sad text-

[ jolie fille –> ] all these pictures theyre taking of us…..[ jolie fille –> ] i cant belive im here looking like a whole snack and u look like the trash the maid just took out[ jolie fille –> ] all these pics are gonna have to be burned, im so sad

😡 an angry text-

[ jolie fille –> ] WHY ARE U TELLING KAI TO DITCH ME[ jolie fille –> ] HE TOLD ME WHAT U SAID WTF[ jolie fille –> ] MY SON WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME HE’S LOYAL UNLIKE SOME BITCHES OUT HERE

👋 a goodbye text-

[ jolie fille –> ] i doubt we have to spend the holidays together[ jolie fille –> ] so glad i won’t have to hear ur whiny-ass voice for a full couple of weeks it’s gonna be GLORIOUS

🔎 a revealing text-

[ jolie fille –> ] do u remember when we first met??[ jolie fille –> ] i doubt u remember it the way i remember it

❓ for me to choose randomly- 😡 an angry text-

[ jolie fille –> ] put a fucking leash on ur family[ jolie fille –> ] they’re fucking embarrassing themselves[ jolie fille –> ] like apes[ jolie fille –> ] u ppl wouldnt know decorum or class if they hit u in the face

[sunbabyhcs]

persimin hcs!

so!!!!

u and minho had some Humble Beginnings

u moved to gimpo as a child let’s say around 14, so the start of 8th grade in korea’s school system!!

ur mom has taken up a job offering which required her to transfer there so y’all packed TF UP and YEETED

anyways minho is a year ur senior and usually u wouldn’t see him often yknow cause class differences and he’s a Whole Year Ahead

but!!!! u had conveniently moved into the house across the street!!

15 year old minho kinda just stared at u and ur mom unloading boxes from the window in his living room

of course his mom noticed her son is Weird but he doesn’t just stare outside windows for No Gotdamn Reason

and when she looks outside with her son she just goes “:^)”

“minho!!! why don’t u help them unpack?”

she literally shoves him out the door and closes it saying “be polite!” and minho is just staring at the door like

“i’m running away”

nonetheless he walks over and originally he’s like “i’m okay!!!! i’m just gonna help them unpack and be nice and i’ll go back to my room and pack my shit in some bundles then-“

lol what the fuck is a train of thought???? minho doesn’t know

u noticed him coming over and poked ur mom’s shoulder, saying smth in a language he’d probably kill himself over trying to understand it and u turn back to jog/skip over

wee woo wee woo wee woo wee woo WEE WOO

minho’s kinda just like shutting down lol why is a cute girl suddenly his brain can’t form a single word wait sHES COMING CLOSER FUC-

“hi!!”

we’re here today to grieve the loss of lee minho’s heart

LITERALLY HE JUST FUCKIGN STARES AT U LIKE “( ・∇・)“

AND U LIKE WAVE UR HAND IN HIS FACE LIKE “hello???? sir????”

minho just snaps out of it and grabs the box from ur arms ASKCNALXH

u just stare at him like “dude what the fuck” for 0.2 seconds before ur going after him like “hello?!?!!?!?! WHO ARE U?!?!?!?!!”

he turns around right and u weren’t PREPARED

his smile is brighter than the sun who told god that this was allowed?????

“i’m lee minho, i live across the street and my mom kicked me out of my house to help u unpack!”

he said that so nonchalantly that u just went “(・・?) ur mom kicked u out”

“yeah she does that a lot”

LEE MINHO W H A T

after Unpacking Day u two just naturally stuck together!!!!

u were the new kid at school and minho kinda became ur Guardian Angel

like

seriously he didn’t leave ur side unless it was for class 

and after class he’d meet u at ur locker to walk u to ur next period and u just HDJAKFHKADN

it was. scarily easy to develop a crush on ur neighbor like u didn’t even realize it at first tbh

u only noticed it aka it hit u in ur fucking face when he grabbed ur hand in the halls bc it was more crowded than usual

and minho looked back to see if u were holding on and following and when he smiled that rlly toothy sunshine smile?

ur heart melted

of course u didn’t TELL HIM WHAT KINDA CONCEPT IS THAT DENIED! LOCKED IN THE DUNGEON!

it was a few years later that it just slipped FROM HIM

u were in ur junior year and minho a senior

it wasn’t even like a weird day where something different was going on w what u two were doing

like u were just laying on ur bed and minho was on the floor beside it like y’all had done since u first moved across the street

and there was soft lofi music just echoing around ur room quietly right???

minho just kinda sets his notebook aside and pushes his psych book away from him before he starts SLAMMING HIS PALM AGAINST UR MATTRESS

U BOUT NEAR HAD A H E A R T A T T A C K

“WHAT THE FUCK MINHO?!?!?!???!”

but when u see him looking up at u like u put the stars in the sky ur heart just goes “fuck”

“lets get ice cream” but it’s more like a demand cause he’s dragging u off ur bed before u can even comprehend what’s going on

y’all end up at the local ice cream parlor and ur eating ur ice cream and minho’s like trying to eat his but he can’t stop looking at u like

is he rlly gonna..... do this? is he gonna risk losing u? just because he wants - well needs - to get his feelings out there?

yeah lol

“hey, persi.”

when u look @ him from over ur ice cream his heart just melts and he starts malfunctioning JDKANSK

but!!! he must carry on!!!!

“yeah minho???”

“i like u.”

that day in the ice cream parlor changed everything

at least it felt like it did because u two had started dating after that

FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY!!!!

u and minho literally DONT LET EACH OTHER LIVE AJDKSBXKAB

“hey baby can u give soonie a can of tuna or smth?”

“hey baby can u pick up ur fucking laundry?”

“（╹◡╹） i’m sacrificing u to the cat gods”

BUT U GUYS ARE ACTUALLY RLLY CUTE!!!!

when u want to be????

one of minho’s favorite things to do is lock pinkies with u!!!! he loves interlocking fingers when y’all hold hands but!!!!

linking pinkies seems so much more intimate to him he feels so (๑>◡<๑) when ur pinkies are locked together

he doesn’t make it easy to be affectionate LOL

like if u want to kiss him on the nose or cheeks or ANYWHERE he dodges everything like his life depends on it until u just

smoosh his face between ur hands and attack him w kisses

sometimes u wonder if he loves his cats more than u

he does

when he’s in a soft mood tho it’s SO OBVIOUS

he literally stares at u like ♡o｡(๑◕ฺ‿ฺ◕ฺ๑)｡o♡

on those days ur lucky if u leave the bed for some snacks cause he won’t let u go

he will never let u go

not until his cuddles quota has been met

going to his dance practices!!!!! and him going to ur presentations/talks for ur history classes!!!!!

both of u just go (๑♡⌓♡๑) the ENTIRE TIME when ur at smth the other loves doing

ur always there to cheer him on for his local dance competitions w his team and he’s always there to support u when u have a big presentation in one of ur classes!!!!

he lowkey like breaks into the classroom to watch but the kids in ur class know he’s the Supportive Boyfie so they cover for him

kissing attacks after either of u finish ur Big Moment? inevitable!

minho loves u so much like wtf he would drop kick the president of korea for u

u thought this would be just fluff

well

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

lol we are ALL aware of the scorpio energy that literally RADIATES from minho’s natal chart

this comes out OH DOES IT COME OUT

ur like vvv submissive and minho Knows This and he Takes Full Advantage over it

lol when u accidentally let it slip One Night that u like being tied up and degraded minho just goes “oh rlly?” and ur like “yah lol” and then ur like “(　ﾟдﾟ) oh no” and minho’s like “:^)”

okay he doesn’t like using rope rope to tie u up u feel???? he’s v much a scorpio radiating man but he prefers using silk to tie ur wrists together uwu

when he’s degrading u he either calls u his dirty little cumslut or his babygirl there’s no inbetween

when he pulls out the former u know it’s gonna be a Long Night because when he REALLY pulls out the dirty talk he’s going ALL OUT BOYS

he likes leaving hickeys anywhere he can honestly ur lucky if ur entire body isn’t covered in them the next morning

oh yeah he’s a dancer too so u already KNOW he knows how to use his hips and he has hella stamina u could be on the verge of tears cause ur so DEAD

but minho’s like. barely broken a sweat and he’s all :) i’m not done yet babygirl :)

also he’s a god at eating u out like he’s RLLY good at it but what do u expect that boy can...... rlly go all out..........

aftercare is such a soft thing w him tho!!!!

he’s not always real good w being overly affectionate but after sex he really tries his best

he’ll run a bath for u and do whatever he can to make sure ur a1 and all glowy and happy

BACK TO THE SUGAR

he’s not good with his words and he much rather prefers to show his love for u through small actions

little love letters, small notes around the apartment for u, bringing home ur favorite flowers and peach tea for u after a Long Day At Uni, all of it!!!

u two know that u love each other more than there are stars in the sky, so u don’t tend to say “i love u” like ur life depends on it

on days where ur mental health seems to eat u from the inside out, minho’s there to hold u and do what u want or need

but sometimes just being in his arms is enough to ground u and help u feel just a little bit better

minho’s just always thankful that u moved across the street from his childhood home all those years ago

and he’s so thankful his mom pushed him outside to help u and ur mom unpack because without that

he wouldn’t have met his soulmate, the love of his life

and when he pulls out a small box like it’s nothing and slides it to ur side of the table during one of ur guys’ anniversary dinners

and when he watches u open it and tear up before looking at him and just going “jesus fuck of course i will minho”

he knows there could’ve never been anyone else for him.

[charlyoddsox27]

its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?

here goes

(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)

~~~

~~1. Medic~~

reasons for being my favourite:

• fucking. look. at. him. 👌

• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it

• cute-ass german accent

• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY

• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?

• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)

• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .

• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.

~~2. Spy~~

reasons for being my second favourite:

• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood

• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.

• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)

• masks are hot tbFH--

• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)

• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend

• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"

• "SEDUCE ME."

• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen

• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.

• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.

• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)

~~3. Pyro~~

reasons for being my third favourite:

• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.

• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.

• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌

• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.

• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)

• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?

• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.

• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.

• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.

• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.

• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.

~~4. Soldier~~

look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.

• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.

• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."

• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*

• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.

• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.

• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart

• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*

~~5. Demoman~~

• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.

• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.

• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.

• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.

• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.

• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.

~~6. Sniper~~

• underrated

• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.

• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"

• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music

• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT

• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.

• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.

• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.

• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.

• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word

• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.

~~7. Heavy~~

I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/

• loveable as fuck

• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic

• i looove Russian accents omfg

• he like big gun. i can respect that.

• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit

• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."

• actually smarter than people give him credit for???

• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.

• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌

• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable

~~8. Engineer~~

• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......

• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.

• smoothest voice in the west

• "y'all"

~~9. Scout~~

oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.

• shitboy

• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way

• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.

• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.

~~~

hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)

so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.

[ghostcrows]

Skee Possum Ghostcrows’s analysis of the film Lady Bird which i watched in my english class and want to talk about to someone starts Now. nobody asked and i delivered ;)

it’s not like i think it was super groundbreaking or anything but it just made me think. films that make you go hmm

will tag as long post but i am not putting it under a cut sorry

first i’ll talk about things i didn’t like because i like to end on positive notes

cons:

- very straight. very heterosexual. there’s a gay guy in it and he’s actually treated fairly well, though we don’t delve deep into his story, but watching lady bird go to town on guys was an unpleasant experience that luckily the screen being too dark saved me from the worst of

i understand WHY they did it, it’s a coming of age sort of story, she’s learning and leaning into her sexuality, that’s fine, but i’m hopelessly heterophobic so i can’t help but detract points for this

- the ending was way too abrupt....i didn’t expect to see lady bird’s entire life story unfold but i feel like we needed at least a scene or two more to end on a note that didn’t feel so lacking...i kind of get it though like not everything is perfect loose-ends tied and we don’t get to see everything all the time but...it felt lacking.

- i don’t like that she went back to using the name christine. maybe it’s just the transed in me but i thought her asserting this name, this identity that she carved for herself, was really cool, and i can see how it might be considered her being “ashamed” of her name or her trying to be someone she isn’t, but....it was clearly special to her. it just. it would have been more powerful, i think, to me at least, for her to keep the name lady bird. it’s an interesting name

- speaking of her name, we never really get to know why she goes by lady bird. maybe i missed something, but i don’t think we do. i would have liked to know what significance that name had to her. maybe it was like, the dream of flying far away like a bird, that sort of thing, how birds symbolize freedom and all that. maybe that’s part of why she went back, when she realized her town wasn’t all bad. but still. just personally i think she shouldn’t have gone back to christine

neutral things:

- it was kind of weird how she was talking to that guy at a party about not believing in god. i kind of got the impression that the catholic church had made her disillusioned. it’s not necessarily bad that she still had faith (or seemed to based on that conversation), it’s just strange. maybe that was to show how she was thinking back on and regretting being so cold to her surroundings? still.

- not so 2000′s it’s sickeningly in your face but it was just 2000′s enough lmao. like, the bell bottom jeans and the flip phones and just the all around vibe...yeah

- i felt kind of bad watching lady bird leave julie to try and get in with jenna and kyle and their crowd. she didn’t seem like the type to do something like that. i can kind of understand though, peer pressure and all. and she went back in the end, so she did learn her lesson, which is good

- sometimes she would start to make a point to her mom or the church like she was stickin it to em, like the abortion assembly, but then she swerved and ended it weird. like she had us in the first half i’m not gonna lie lmfao

good things/noteworthy things:

- i thought the shots were pretty good. i mean, i don’t know a lot about the technical aspects of film (despite spending two years of high school in AVTF) but it just looked good, the colors looked good, they made sacramento look really gorgeous. which really made you ask, why does she hate it here of all places? “wrong side of the tracks” my ass...

but see, i can still understand that. i think that, when you find yourself in a bad position in life, when you’re going through a rough time, you tend to lash out on your surroundings. i did that myself with my own hometown. sometimes i still do. i think it’s a boring, stagnant place and on my worst days i think it’s a literal hellhole. but it’s not, really. i’m the hellhole. the hellhole is me. and that’s why it was a shock for her when she went to new york and kind of just did the same reckless things she was doing before. it doesn’t matter where you go, you can’t escape your problems just by moving to a different place. you can’t leave your brain in your hometown and fly a hundred miles away and be happy. you have to work on you first. a change of scenery might help but ultimately, you gotta fix you

- i found it contradictory to me in that it was really relatable while also being pretty unrelatable. when i look at lady bird as a character, i see myself. but not all of myself. not even myself as i am now. more like a piece of myself. a piece thats still in me but that largely got left behind in high school. which makes sense bc thats where she is during the course of the film

i found it relatable in just, the ways they showed the audience the experience of being an adolescent afab person. not completely, but in a lot of ways. i saw my ninth and tenth grade cis girl self a lot. 

what was unrelatable was mostly the way that while i sat around and daydreamed about being this rebellious teenager sticking it to the world, she actually went out and did it. it’s like seeing an image of who i might have been, had i acted out on my desires. and i’m not saying i wish i had done that or that i’m glad i didn’t. it’s just an observation more than anything. it’s like, my wild girl self if she had “flourished” (if you can call it that, and yeah she wasnt TOTALLY wild but like. the amount of wild, the amount of fun and rebellious that i’d wanted to be then)

- the way they talk about sex is very real, which i like. it’s funny and not too prudish or too vulgar (though i dont really have standards for too vulgar lmao). that was just cool

- i’m glad that danny was a character. yeah he was just a side dude and they didn’t touch on him being gay in depth but they didn’t really need to? like. i’m just glad it was the way it was. he didn’t die or get punished or have everyone turn against him, he just upset lady bird because he was pretty much cheating and her feelings for him had been more real than his for her. she tried to use it as an insult briefly but i don’t think it was out of real animosity, just being hurt because she’d felt betrayed. and when he broke down and cried and she stood there and held him that almost made me tear up in class oops

- this is a big huge one. the way lady bird and her mother’s relationship operated was so. SO fucking resonant with me. and i wish it wasn’t. it’s like looking in a mirror and hating what you see. i’m glad i saw it, but i hate that it’s true to me too. y’know?

the way her mother is constantly overly criticizing and making comments towards her and lady bird tries to defend herself or come back at her, the way she subtly (or overtly) suggests that lady bird will never amount to anything great and she should just settle for mediocrity

the way her mom refuses to speak to her when she’s begging her to just say something, anything to her

the way her mom acts when she takes her to the airport

the way she shames her for being financially dependent on her and assumes that she’s ungrateful when she’s just. frustrated with the situation (i understand why her mom feels that way, i understand why MY mom feels that way. but you still can’t make your kid feel like shit for costing so much to raise when they didn’t ask to be born lmao...) the scene where she says “give me a number. give me a number so when i get rich i’ll pay you back and more and never have to speak to you again” and her mom’s reply that she’ll probably never get that far? that was so real it KILLED me. that was EXACTLY something that would happen between me and my mom

and oh . ohhhhhh my god. when she’s in the changing rooms and her mom can’t come up with a nice thing to say about her dresses...and lady bird says “do you like me”

“lady bird, i love you”

“yeah....but...do you like me.”

and her mom had nothing to say

that was PAINFUL. PAINFUL...because that’s...the way i feel with my mom too

- the way that financial stress can bring emotional turmoil to an entire family was really resonant as well, which ties into that last part. i could understand her parents’ struggles and sympathize with them, but i still leaned towards siding with lady bird because while yeah she was kind of extra sometimes, and she tried to act like she was one of the rich kids bc she was ashamed, and i get how that would hurt her parents....overall she was just. frustrated with the situation. frustrated with her relationship with her mother, frustrated with her school, afraid she might not get where she wants to be, CONSTANTLY discouraged by her family and told to aim lower....whatsa girl ta do yknow?

- i loved that lady bird went to prom with julie. it was really sweet. and it’s a reach and a half but bisexual lady bird confirmed

- i think ultimately its good that she kind of realized, oh...yknow...maybe its not the town i hated. i think i actually quite like my hometown. it was just my situation. and there’s a lot about sacramento that i can appreciate. i think that was good. BUT i don’t think it should end with her going back and settling just because she made that realization. you can come to that conclusion that maybe things weren’t so bad with the place you lived, without giving up completely and moving back home. i don’t like the implication that she was wrong to want more, wrong to change her name, wrong to try and carve a place and a name for herself in the world. i don’t like the idea that her family was right all along. and it doesn’t end outright saying that, it ends super abruptly and is up to interpretation, but i really like to think she made it in new york. or at least that she made it somewhere. and that maybe her relationship with her mom got better with time. it’s what i hope for me and my mom too

and i think that’s it. thanks for listening if you liked this video smash that like button smash that subscribe button and hit the little bell so you never miss a notification. until next time!

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/23/18 10:18pm

note to self from therapist..

when people don’t test back right away, and your heart hurts.. that feeling is the fear that you will lose the attachment. 

i’m upset that he isn’t responding to text messages because i’m scared that if he doesn’t respond, it means he’s ignoring me which means im annoying him which means he doesn’t want to be with me anymore which means i’ll be rejected and lose the attachment. texting and communication is all about reminding me that i am still loved and still wanted, and yeah i might need a little more reassurance than other people, but maybe that’s okay.

in other news, i have officially cut romantic ties with ryan, and i feel lighter. it doesn’t serve either of us to imagine a future together or to bank on getting back together down the road. so we talked on the phone and i said it. its over. i don’t want to get back together. things changed when we broke up, and i still want to be his friend when he’s ready, but i’m glad that i’m actually moving on and putting the romantic aspect of our relationship behind us.

it has been one of the most stressful weeks last week. i came home crying every day, having panic attacks because my grades are slipping, i’m scared of disappointing my dad, my friend situation feels shakey sometimes and i feel like i’m stepping on toes, and spencer has been adding stress with his shitty text communication..

in regards to the last thing, i have diplomatically decided to put that issue on the back burner. i have voiced my needs to him, and i know he has a busy midterm week this week and he’s gunna be too busy to do much of anything, and since i’m not a fuckin quitter, i’ve decided to table this issue while i deal with my other shit, and when we both have more time we will put in heavier work to the relationship and i’ll decide if we should stay together or breakup. we are still in a relationship, but i cant afford to throw more emotional energy at this problem when it really doesn’t matter. so we’ll both just have a quiet week mostly apart and i’ll reassess at a later time. plus, it’s almost halloween and i want to bring his adorable face to parties with me and kiss him and be proud to show each other off in our costumes.. and then i keep hearing that its cuffing season and i know ill want to be there for him this winter break since its probably going to be hard for him.. i adore him. i love him to bits. i want to protect him and offer emotional support. and i know when i get stressed about one thing, everything starts to stress me out, and the relationship has been suffering because my school work is suffering, so i gotta fix that. so at least for right now, i am tabling my grievances and just going to take a step back and support him while he has a tough week. and adding breakup hurt to my pile of hurt isnt what i need right now. i need a good cuddle and to look into his beautiful brown eyes and tell him i love him. thats what i need. end of discussion for now.

as for my school, i am seriously considering taking another semester at oxy. there is so much on my plate and 5 classes still to go and a research position that i really want to take.. theres a lot to consider.. i’m terrified of upsetting my dad and disappointing him.. i want to do so much and i dont have any time because im trying to cram everything into these 2 semesters that im gunna drown and get terrible grades.. i cant do all of this.. its going to kill me.. i dont know what i want but i am starting to really consider it in a serious way. having one more semester here would mean that i most likely cant walk with the current seniors but i could next year.. idk.. we’ll see

also trying to put the frat drama behind me. i dont want to hurt anyone, i just need to take care of myself. and to me, the best option is making things smoother with people in the house so i can feel safe there and feel excited about the frat as a whole, so for now, thats my decision. just be nice and supportive to everyone. i might not agree with the house members on the issue, but i still love them as people and i need to make amends because i fucked up too. 

i just want to spread love and good vibes and support people. this fighting is exhausting me, so im just gunna not.. i think thats the right call for me right now.

last week sucked, but i swear to god i will force myself into an upswing if it kills me. 

take your xanex. eat healthy foods. get your work done. love people. spread positivity. spread love. support people you care about. and i know its going to be painful, but you need to have a talk with your dad. do all of this, and you will be happy. 

ps. start doing your makeup again because putting effort into your appearance makes you feel better. 

okay, gotta go do work, but i’m feeling better after writing and having therapy today. talking helps, and i need to keep talking and keep getting to the bottom of my stupid feelings. you are not going to fail. you can do this. keep trying. it’s not over till its over, so get back up and keep trying. <3