#....do i dare even tag all those blorbos...

[ganondoodle]

the way i think about my stories can be so annoying bc there will be a point when i reach a certain story beat after which i dont know how to continue, and the way i do find are usually ... not good .. or i imagine it is not so i think man i cant do that thats so dumb and annoying i gotta think of something better, but then i cant come up with anything better bc once i got a solution to soemthign i cant think of anything smarter- and then i get bored of it as a whole bc man, this really was stupid from the start wasnt it

(this is all some stupid rambling and does NOT represent anythign that will happen in destiny, i swear the actual story with a proper end makes much more sense)

listen to me rambling but this morning i thought about the essentialyl non-canon good "ending" of destiny, a kind of self indulgent dumb lil alternative where everyone lives blah blah, but then of course it cant just end there, bc the end goal of the both of them is to find out the gods plan and secrets and also kill the gods, as you do, then i got a certain point that i found cool (which initially came from the whole thoguht of what if zelda game but you could play demise and it took place after the alternative ending in which the goal is to get rid of the gods) where the fight one of the gods but are kinda losing and as the god is trying to devour demise, as gods do, he abandons his body and his spirit/core, who cant exist without his body so hes still connected through the spirits tail , and climbs through the gods interdimensional weird 'mouth' while its trying to rip him apart to reach the core of the god in a last attempt to take them down with him, while hylia is fighting to keep the god from severing the thin connection he still has to his body but fails just as he reaches the core so the god is killed but his core is immediatelly starting to dissolve and hylia manages to grab his core and put it back into his body and flee from whatever is happeing to that dead god back into hyrule

he survives but is incredibly weak as his spirit has lost half of itself (blade spirits are also forged throguh sacrificing part of their spirit/core permantently but this is besides the point, none of this makes sense anyway), something he obviously hates but cant do anything about really, once a part of their core is gone its gone (not like lost energy but gone gone) but the core is also slowly dissolving further which is a death sentence with no way to act against- then theres a whole quest to .. well, stop that, while hes falling back into self hatred and fear bc hes now so weak that hylia can break his bones without any effort if she were to treat him in any way similar to before and to a deity that all their life was never so fragile, one whos most defining feature IS his power and strength to keep going no matter what, thats gotta be pretty existentially dreadful (and also its a set back to know that they cant just go fight the gods together like that, theres still two more and he cant fight like that)

then i wondered ok what if then, even if the time doesnt quite line up but at this point the entire prophecy cant be done anymore either so everythings out of order, the cloud barrier weakens and zelda is abducted (not by ghirahim) and link goes and tries to find her, but since everythigns not as it should have been he meets hylia and demise (disguised tho) and they immediately know who he is and then go along and try to help link find his friend (hylia does it bc she got the idea to make him find the triforce and wish demises spirit to be restored, since only a mortal can do that and links the most likely candidate to be able to go through the trials of it since he was supposed to already, even if the circumstances are different- demise goes along with it bc hes still trying to deal with essentially slowly dying and not knowing what to do with himself since hes afraid to get into fights or similar, much to his disdain, so hes acting like a companion of sorts, a mentor figure in a way, not knowing what hylias plan is)

i found the idea kinda interesting to have them be like a lil group that goes on links adventured with him, but with strangely intricate knowledge of how the dungeons work, link still doing the heavy lifting but them being there like parents cheering on their kid in a competetion, all the while putting the whole puzzle and dungeon aspect in a way different light bc half of them were never completed (they wanted to escape the prophecy after all) so they all work completely differently, some bosses being maybe some of the gods creatures instead (like the skysw guardians)- the mid journey point being that they find zelda, and who kidnapped her, it being one of the shiekah having most closely worked with hylia before the whole -break the prophecy- thing started (idk if it would be impa .. idea is neat) and is hellbent on making the gods plan work out like it was supposed to, kinda like the inverse of the games plot, so they got ahold of zelda as part of making her into the new hylia (despite hylia being .. right there, but they dont believe it is her truly since the true tm hylia would never betray the gods- ALSO a paralel to how the downfall of demises world worked bc his mortals turned on him after he started destroying their version of the triforce in the belief destroying it would be the only way to save mortals from going to war agaisnt each other for it over and over, mortals believing that their true deity was gone and replaced by a demon despite demise being ..right there)

after link wins the fight and frees zelda from them they in a kind of last effort to do anything against their group they stab demise, normally that wouldnt do shit against him but in his already fading away situation it basically puts him from very slowly dying to actually dying, as a reaction to it hylia kills the mortal (maybe impa idk), which is the first time she does anything like that to a mortal but i like the idea of her being actually super ruthless when it comes to things she cares about

now with a much more dire time limit hylia sends demise back to essentialyl go hide in her temple and try to not die and to trust her having a plan to make this all still work out- he does and once he is away she reveals pretyt much the entire story around why and what is happenign to link and zelda, hylia herself cant go above the clouds as the barrier is still partially up and she cant do anything to reach the triforce either - so she sends link and zelda to go do that, and it works out in the end bc even knowing the truth know, demise was with them on half of their journey so they know and care, he WILL be mad about them wasting their wish on him (even if he is still happy to be alive- i imagined scene where hes watching himself fall apart and die, alone in hylias temple, having to come to terms with the fact that after everything they had went through hed still die alone- it made me cry while thinking about it, yes, yes you are allowed to laugh)

i didnt get that much further but his spirit was essentially reset to when he was in his prime back in the day through the triforces power- something he both likes and despises, it being the gods power of all things that lets him live again, but also lol to use it agaisnt them by giving another chance to the gods greatest enemy- the next plan is of course to kill the next one of the gods but much better prepared, as they cant just go and do the same thign again (neither wants that), one idea was that hylia goes on a secret quest to try and bring back courage (the third deity that demise killed when his world was still thriving) but it involves diving back into the realm of the gods so she doesnt tell him at first, i do think theyd go together in the end, not to fight but to release courage; the whole thing is also an elaborate revenge plot of hylia, how dare the gods do that to him!!

anyway thats most of what i got from that thinking session but its so frustrating bc none of this is even in the actual comic (since it ends in a way that leads into canon skysw, this is some brain fart nooo i want blorbo to live and succeed!!) and its also convoluted and kinda dumb, the idea to inverse the games plot in a way (instead of it being ghirahim trying to bring demise back its someones plan to make the gods prophecy happen no matter what) is neat but i cant have demise almost dying be the thing THREE TIMES, it kinda undercuts his character and is way too much centered around him, all three times also more or less involving it needing help from others to get him back, when his whole thing should be being unkillable bc he jsut keeps refusing to die, also hylia is, as of now in this spaghetti derailment of random thoughts, way too much of a side character, which i dont like, and it all would make people not like demise when im trying to do the exact opposite of that in the main actual comic

i know being super self indulgent and jsut doing what you want is good for the most part but theres a point where it becomes stale cringy fantasies about my blorbo tm and i wanna write at least decent stories- in the end none of this matters anyway as the actual REAL story of destiny is already pretty long and i got no plan to write that alternative 'good ending' anyway and i mostly just thought about it bc "i dont want blorbo to die :(" and "wouldnt it be fun if the entire plot of the game would get messed up and now demise link hylia and zelda etc can all just drink tea together and make plans to get rid of the gods that wanted them all to suffer needlessly"

i probably shouldnt post this as it was really only a vent to get out dumb thoughts from my brain before they poison me into losing interest of the biggest comic project i have worked on so far but i am unable to keep these things to myself so

if you read all of this, im sorry (´。＿。｀)

[damnfandomproblems]

771335121823547392

"What the FUCK does this have to do with fandom?"

Funny. The answer is right there in front of you, yet you're either so clueless you don't see it, or you're purposefully feigning ignorance just so everyone who points it out looks like they're bringing it up for no reason, so you can shut the whole conversation down.

This isn't a reply for that person though, more an explanation of some of the major things that came to my mind for everyone else who is curious.

Discord servers are filled with people who announce every time they "switch", who say laundry lists of topics "trigger their alters" so everyone needs to memorize lists just so they don't have a fit (won't even get into how ableist this is for people with actual memory and memorization issues), and who engage in portrayal policing because they identify so much with a character they pretend to have an alter and can't stand the thought of people sharing other thoughts on said characters.

People eating up tangibly bad disinformation, either tiktok-derived or from non peer-reviewed studies, and using that disinformation to diagnose themselves, then attack people for daring to write characters more realistically, because they perceive the disinformation as correct instead.

Trauma olympics. People, mostly kids as others have graciously pointed out, readily disclosing their traumatic experiences with no warning. Many an ex-faker, intentionally or not, have even admitted to fabricating stories because they wanted people to pity and pay attention to them. See: "sick role". And people don't want to hear all this shit when they just want to talk about their blorbos.

Fakers in tumblr roleplay calling others ableist and shunning them from their groups when those people say they're not comfortable rping with them, even though it's obvious the person is faking because you can throw a rock and hit someone with 100+ alters of recent shows and movies, including them.

Characters are a big part of fandom, and it's a pain in the fucking ass to go into tags for your blorbo and see someone roleplaying a Freddy Fazbear alter.

Performative activism. It's a big problem in fandom in general, between the reblog bait, "if you don't share this you're a bad person", and so on. These people with fake DID take further advantage of peoples' desires to do right, and mislead them, intentionally or not, and make fandom feel even more like you could step on hot coals any second if you don't humor something, even if it sends up red flags. And using one's common sense makes them susceptible to being called ableist or (surprise, surprise) "exclusionary" because hey, nobody wants to be called either of those things, that would be awful.

So forgive me if I don't call the post I'm replying to a load of horse manure.

Posting as a response to a previous ask.

[maximoff-forevermore]

Tumblr Wrapped: BLORBOS!!

thank you sm for the tag @healmydesires 💋🫶🫶

tumblr wrapped canva template<3

i have SO much to say, but then again, i always do

i’ll start with my top five, and then do some honourable mentions because five fics is NOT a big enough list for me

1. Red Light by @kiwisbell

you may NEVER hear me stop talking about this fic. EVER. Red Light!Joel has taken up more headspace than anything else in a good long while, and i’ve reread this fic so many times if you asked me to rewrite it from memory i probably could, but i wouldn’t, because i’d never do it the justice kiwi did. this fic basically belongs to me, because no one can love it as much as me. i could go on and on, but there’s not enough time in the world.

2. The Dress Series by @janaispunk

can i let y’all in on a secret? i got the outrageous honour of talking to jana about the third part in this series, it’s like getting a shoutout from an artist winning a grammy, only better. this series restarted my obsession with dave, and i’ve had such brainrot about him since i started. LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL it’s so good, and the taylor titles GOD.

3. Las Mañanas by @kiwisbell

i had to be very careful, or else every fic on my top five list would be one of kiwi’s and people would think i’m biased (i am, just a little). so i only chose my two favourites, and this series was one of them. it brought so much light and life to the minutes i spent reading it, and i just had the best time!! javi my beloved, you have such a special place in my cold, dead heart, you wife-loving POOKIE!!

4. The In My Hometown Series by @swiftispunk

A SERIES INSPIRED BY ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON *buries face into pillow and screams* ‘tis the damn season is one of my all time favourite songs, and it was done SUCH JUSTICE. this fic had just the right amount of everything, and i’m so grateful i got to read it!!

5. Punishment by @joelsgreys

OOOOOH HOT DAMN. there was something about this fic that made me drool, because hELLO JOEL MILLER?? gods that man is FINE AS FUCK, and this fic so perfectly captures that😫😫 i had the time of my fucking life reading it, and it was so SO worth every second. my next, pls joel🙏

those fics have such a special place in my heart, but so do many others, let’s go through them!!

Is It Over Now? by @planet-marz1 OH this one is my SHIT!!! angst is so delicious for twelve months of the year, and this one shot was me being FED. i loved every minute, and fuck joel, not in the horny way this time🙄

Sexfiles.mp3 by @beskarandblasters tim rockford, the grandma investigator, and love of my life WHERE have you been all this time?? this fic gave me that alligator-jiggling fever

the Seams series by @fuckyeahdindjarin MY BELOVED POOKIES!!!! i love lucy to the ends of the earth, and joel and pins have the CUTEST fucking relationship on the planet

A Lover’s Pinch series by @hier--soir pull me out of the dumpster and fuck me sideways GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO??? gods the sex is just so BXKANDIWNSKW clawing at my fucking WALLS!!!! i haven’t finished this series yet but when i do you may NEVER hear the fucking end of me🗣️🗣️

the Pretty Little Wife series by @beardedjoel OH MAMA, i need a fan because it is HOT AS HELL in here😫😫these fics give me such housewife-fever, i love them just a bit TOO much

Real Gods Require Blood, by @pr0ximamidnight you guys have no FUCKING idea how obsessed i am with this fic. the minute it’s possible to make fics into physical things, i will turn this fic into cocaine and snort it faster than you can scream “he’s evil!”, and even if you did scream it, i wouldn’t care, because WOW is he hot as hell

Feelings on Fire by @joelscruff CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT. CAN WE—im so obsessed. and i don’t mean that lightly. this series has CHANGED ME. i am moved. i am reborn. i am SOMETHING ELSE. i can’t get over this series i’m not sorry, it’s just so so SO good

and last, but definitely NOT least, Truth or Dare, ALSO by @joelscruff I’M SO UNWELL. I NEED HIM. I NEED THIS. I AM IN DIRE, DESPERATE NEED OF THIS FIC. it’s so so close to my heart, i actually physically cannot get over it. like, guys, GUYS. this fic is such a go-to of mine, and so close to my heart.

and that was my long, long, LONG list, but honestly, i’m not even halfway done. so many fics and so many fic writers have changed my life, and if i was less tired and had more energy to type, i’d list them all<3

all the love to every single fic writer out there, you are doing the most, and if you need someone to read something you’ve written or you think i’ll enjoy something, don’t hesitate to send it my way!!

tagging everyone who wants to participate!!!

as always, my obligatory taylor gifs:

[kattythingz]

For the ask game thing, J K R X!

Hoooh? You're approaching me? Well, if you dare...

J - what’s your favorite fanfic trope? Have you written it?

I ADORE A VERY SPECIFIC FLAVOR OF CANON REWRITES. Basically: what if canon but my blorbo was treated as the love interest (and all the cliches that come with that, yes, hello I love whump) and my ship is endgame?

Think literally just Crown. The entire concept came to me years ago because I wanted, so desperately, to see a world where Ed was basically treated as Ling's love interest. And how that would change the plot! How would their relationship develop? How would they act AFTER they're dating? Blorbo treated as love interest + established relationship MY FUCKING BELOVED.

I did it to Ed again with Reliable Conclusion; I did it long before that to Stiles with Sweet Disaster; and I've most definitely contemplated doing it to Shinichi in a kaishin "what if Shinichi played Aoko's role in Magic Kaito" au.

If this trope has no fans left, it's because I'm DEAD.

K - do you have a guilty pleasures in fic (reading or writing)?

Oh, dude, SO MANY. SO SO MANY. I've already said I like my favs being treated as love interests, so you can imagine all the "stupid cliche" positions that I like to write said favs into. I CAN'T HELP IT MAN. I know my blorbos are competent in canon, and I'll never erase that! Any "weak" situation I ever write them into HAS to make canonical sense to me, otherwise I just. I can't.

But also, what's wrong with a strong character needing to be saved? Ed, for example, altho yes yes he's disabled, is also just human. Even without his automail kicking his ass, as a human he can still inherently be weak! You just need to know where to apply that weakness!

Also I really like dressing my favs pretty, heh. I FIND THEM PRETTY AND THUS THEY DESERVE TO LOOK THE PRETTIEST. TIS THE LAW!!!

R - which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

Right off the top of my head, SiryyGray from Capra comes to mind. The way they tied Ed's flashbacks into the narrative so time feels WACK. The way their writing style is so damn atmospheric and vintage somehow, like you're IN those 1940s with Ed. THE WAY THEY TIED THAT WHOLE BOY WITH A COMPASS STORY INTO THE LARGER NARRATIVE AND IT HELD THEMATIC MEANING? I ATE THAT SHIT UP.

Their writing style definitely directly influenced mine! Honestly, I've caught myself thinking back on Capra a lot whenever I'm trying to write certain scenes in my own fics.

I can also cite The Map to Everywhere book series (highly recommend) as direct inspo that taught me to just, have FUN with formatting! Even in a published book! That series is my favorite in the whole world and it has so much fun with its visuals and formatting! I really admire it.

X - how would you categorize your fanfic reading? Are you a voracious reader? Do you carefully pick and choose? Something in between?

Oh, god no, I am DEFINITELY picky. Like, "I'm striving to become a professional literary editor" picky. I try so hard but unless your premise is EXTREMELY captivating and ticks all my trope boxes, then even slightly mediocre writing will turn me off at times. I can't unsee if there's a dialogue tag every single line; if the punctuation's bad; if two characters speak in the same paragraph. Every fanfic pet peeve you can think of, I've clicked off a fic from.

It's unfortunate, because I remember being 12 and reading every cool sounding fic I could get my hands on. But my writing's evolved a lot over the years. And so have my expectations for fics because of that. It's not rlly sth I can turn off in my brain anymore, as much as I wish I could sometimes.

[theliterarywolf]

RE : Welcome Home r34.

My position is that disregarding Clown's wishes is shitty, but also this is the internet and porn of things that get popular is kind of inevitable. You can mitigate it by politely asking not to, and most will listen. But R34 artists are kind of a stubborn contrarian bunch (especially if they hang around places like 4chan) and telling them no even in the tactful way Clown did would probably just spur them to go "Nyeeeeehhhh fuck you I won't do what you tell me" And what makes it worse is that such a position becomes easier to justify if you're someone who's had to put up with a decade plus of "RULE34 IS BAD!!!!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!1!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU TAG IT SO THAT I CAN'T SEE IT JUST BY STUMBLING UPON IT, IF YOU SEXUALIZE MY BLORBO YOU'RE A PEDOPHILE!!!1!!11 BRONIES ARE RAPE APOLOGISTS WHO ARE ALSO PEDOPHILES AND STOLE A LITTLE GIRLS SHOW AWAY FROM THEM BECAUSE MUH SOGGY KNEES!!!! ANIME FANS ARE EVIL ALT RIGHT PEDOPHILES!! FANS OF JAPANESE MADE VIDEO GAMES ARE PEDOPHILES!!!!1 PEDO PEDO PEDO PEDO PEDO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Like I don't think it's *okay*, I'm just saying that this is highly disappointing, but unsurprising.

See, so this is the exact mentality I was thinking about when I answered those first few asks.

Because, you know what? You're right: the internet is the internet and certain people are just going to do whatever the hell they want either way.

However, I'm going to bring up a few portions written by myself and others that kind of lean into my ultimate attitude on situations like this.

'Read more' because this turned into a doozy.

First and foremost, this portion from Absolmon's reblog of one of the earlier posts:

"I also think there’s a world of difference between a small time creator wanting to retain some control of their characters vs a billion dollar corporations character. I remember when JaidenAnimations made an statement saying she was upset by all the porn made of her avatar character, especially with her collaborators and people rushing out to make even more of it. The fact that Jaiden is ace and has a well known history of body image issues just makes it even more skeevy. "

This portion from a conversation I was having with Marquis de Glad:

Marquis - I dunno... Is it any different than all the people who make Rule34 of Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite despite the creator not liking it? Or is that something you dislike as well? Mind you, I know basically nothing about this entire thing other than what you've posted, so it's possible I'm missing some context

Me - Well, I'm of the mindset that 'not liking' =/= 'please don't do this' I'm sure that Hasbro doesn't like all the MLP smut out there, but they never actually said 'please don't create this'. Another example would be how Martin Freeman's wife was talking about how she didn't like all the porn of her husband's characters people made that she kept finding when wanting to show their kids their dad's work... But she never said 'please don't do this'

And then, finally, from an ask I just answered:

"No one wants to think about the creators of their favored IPs anymore. They just want to be given the shiny new ball to treat (or mistreat) in any way they see fit for a while before dumping it to the wayside a month or so later to do it to something else. And if, heaven forbid, you get a creator who dares to want to have some matter of agency with how people engage with their creation, well...

'Why do you hate people having fun?'

'Well, I'm just going to do it anyway.'

'So... Anyway, these characters are now mine because the creator is obviously shitty and doesn't know them as well as I do'"

However, one other thing that I think a lot of people aren't remembering in the conversation around this issue is the notion of boundaries. And not just the boundaries creators are justified in setting for themselves, but the boundaries within fandom itself.

Because, going back to the whole rhetorical reenactment you had up there, there was a time when NSFW creators used to be able to lock up their work behind certain tags so that creators and minors wouldn't have to see it unless they took it upon themselves to sniff around. Remember things like Steven Universe smut being tagged as 'Stephen Galaxy', MLP smut having the nickname of 'Clop', or even people trying to recreate that effect in the Cookie Run fandom with tags like 'NotSafeforCookies'.

On the opposite end of this (the boundary established for NSFW to exist in so that creators and minors wouldn't have to see it), then, it would be understood that Creators and Minors wouldn't engage with said content.

Is the picture that I'm trying to establish here clear? Because while we can talk about 'respect a creator's boundaries' until the cows come home, some people will just not want to do that. Especially in the current fandom-space where NSFW is being demonized more and more. However, we are currently suffering a pandemic of people either refusing to tag properly or purposefully tagging their work with the most popular tags so that it is basically guaranteed to go outside of its intended audience.

And that is why, in a conversation that should only center around a creator becoming overwhelmed by how people are treating and feeling justified to their creation, you keep having people bring up fanpol and proshippers. Because that boundary being trampled on by both sides of the equation is what will continue to cause situations like this.

[yonemurishiroku]

hey I just read your post abt where you answered an anon abt how even tho u kinda hate him u don't shit on him intentionally but would if promted or asked .that you would put it under percy hate tag and I just.....I respect so much rlly Ily and I'm can be like rlly pity sometimes and I wanna like u teach me ur ways

oh. wow. uhm. Thanks for your compliment, I guess? 😳 LOL I just think that letting people enjoy things was the least respect I can give to other media consumers.

Actually no. I just think that I don't have to waste my time hating something when I clearly can be dedicating my time and effort to those I love.

I hope I can teach you my ways but to be honest, since the day I came to know of the fandom culture, I've been instructed to respect others' choices of consumption. It came as a way of life, I think? Like basic manners in fandom space. I suppose it does have something with the fact that the Asian fandom, where I come from, has always been more lenient, dare I say respectful, and open in comparison with the Westerners, by which PJO thrives.

If I have to give you any advice though, I think I have a few that would help:

Before you send any hate, ask yourself if this is really worth your time, and if you'd be really feeling better if you engage with what you dislike.

Most of the time, it's just not worth it. Yeah maybe at that time, shitting on something you hate might sound fun, but at the end of the day, you'd only have burdened yourself with a sense of frustration and ruined others' fun. Try scrolling away the second you feel like you're not enjoying yourself. Pretend they don't exist. You'd forget about it like three minutes later. It helps a lot.

This is not real life. You can hardly (if ever) change someone's mind by arguing with them online. There's no need to trouble yourself, right?

Accept that whatever you like, there's always someone who dislikes it; and whatever you hate or feel disturbed at, there's always someone who's into that.

Because we're humans. and humans are self-centered at birth. we're not saints. we love and we hate as we'd like. it's just how we are. And it's fictional anyway. Who caressss. Let us love and let us hate.

This is... really a very simple thing in the Asian fandom, actually, but somehow the Westerners miss out. I've seen Twitter accounts condemning those who support pairings they disapprove of. I find it stupid and meaningless. Just. Don't. 😔😔😔

Which also means acknowledging your dislikes btw. You might figure out your reasons, but don't try justifying them. You hate whatever you don't like, that's all. Rant as you want. just avoid the fan's space. Don't jump into their sanctuary and commit blasphemy.

As I usually do, I might dislike Percy as he is, but I'm aware half of the fandom's in love with him, and that's okay! I know I don't like him though, so I stay away from his tag, and if I'm ranting I'm putting it somewhere fewer Percy fans can see. You wouldn't want to see hate in your blorbo tag now would you? It's just respect in its simplest form.

Fictional characters don't have rights. The only right they have is copyright. Just remember that the next time you feel offended in your blorbo's place.

However, I'm aware most of these just... don't apply to the wester fandom. yeah I don't know why either, everybody has this need for justice (their justice) somehow...

I suppose it'd be hard for you, but if you'd like to change your perspective to have a better, more peaceful fandom experience, I strongly recommend following the above.

I hope you have great experiences in this fandom culture. With love.

[meejijis]

Leaving the DSP fandom is such a wise choice. The elitism on one hand of all the people shipping the toxic ships (which theyre totally allowed to do but holy fuck are they obnoxious and condescending) and then on the other hand all the rampant death-threats-loving antis. I left as well, but regrettably much later than you. Sometimes I miss drawing my blorbos but it's a fair price to pay 💀

From the elitist attitude's I seen during the time I stayed in there, most of them came from sat*ivl*s shippers for the most part and I remember some going ballistic when ppl say they don't ship STNIVL (I remember saying I shipped Satalil but then I got semi anon hate complaining about to me how bad lil is which made me ended up shipping them even more) And ofc there was also the critical anti DSP blogs that also... existed for quite some time (And good lord they were also incredibly awful for attacking everyone and anyone in the fandom who dare ship their NOTPS and any problematic pairings in existence)

But now I think the elitist attitude got much more worser and annoying in the growing 2020s since I'm seeing not just STNIVL shippers but others being S*lW*da shippers as well... Which in the past despite me severely hating the ship (And still do) and staying far far away from their fans, they did had some mature sane fans I'll have to admit and they never start any shipping wars/stayed in their own lanes. But nowadays from what I've seen, lately they're starting to get annoying when other non shippers say they don't ship them (I even remember sometime last year while browsing for samewada content on twt, I've seen them going "those who hate on s*lw*da are automatically boring people. Samewada is too vanilla and boring, they will never survive while s*lw*da shippers are powerful" and while I'm aware it's a joke(???) idk it just still reeks of elitist vibes. Seeing that annoyed me so I blocked them on sight. They used to not be like this in the past but I guess times got even more worser

And yeah, I agree that anyone can ship whatever ships they want, be it healthy or unhealthy/problematic ships. (It's fiction afterall) I just wish some shippers didn't act like they're better than everyone and put other ships down to make their ship look like "it's number one, it's the norm and everyone should ship this" which is a huge pet peeve of mine when it comes to fandoms. That's just going to make more ppl hate the ship with attitudes like that and not only that, it also damages the reputation's image of the fandom of that ship as well.

But yeah those were some of the partial reasons why I left (And also everywhere I went, there were a lot of fans and certain fan contents that really made me highkey uncomfortable to the point where I ended up blocking the entire fandom on tumblr for the sake of my mental being) I also don't want to risk the fandom or the ppl I've blocked finding my art so every once in long a while when I feel like drawing samekichi/samewada or other dsp favs, I don't tag it into the main fandom's tag and just use the character/ship tag only so I don't attract huge audience

Other then that, I don't ever see myself returning to the fandom ever again. Screw the DSP fandom

[lancerious]

Saw this post, wanted to answer it, yeah lol

Lancer & Spade King (shocker), each in their own ways. Almost nobody hcs these characters exactly how I do therefore everyone else is automatically wrong (jk you do what you want within reason lol). Those are the 2 big ones, I can't think of many other characters to put here

As an aroace I am obligated to not reply to this one :P

I don't want to push any buttons here, but I DO NOT like seeing fanart depicting Lancer & Spade King in animalistic fashions. Idc if they mostly resemble their canon selves or if they're something else entirely, this gets on my nerves either way. Really though, I'm against any characters having an "animal-ification" if they're not explicitly resembling an animal

I don't block people rly often tbh, I mostly block bots lol. I usually block people who are overly clingy, if anyone at all. That's as specific as I'm getting :P

Idk man, I don't actively seek out bad Discord servers

Ship FANS? Can't rly think of any, I tend to stay as far away from the shipping portion of any fandom as possible. I can think of SHIPS I hate, but not shipping fans

Noelle. I'm sorry y'all, I terribly dislike Noelle at this point ONLY because of how popular and adored she is. She takes attention away from TONS of other characters! That's not right. I kinda feel the same way about Spamton, but to a lesser extent

Spade King is a irredeemable character. I bet the ONLY reason people say this is because Deltarune isn't finished yet. I've said it before and I'll say it again, other characters have done FAR worse things and are still treasured characters. There is hardly ANY basis behind this opinion

I think the fact that I can't think of anything to say here after a few minutes proves there's not a lot I dislike about canon, at least when it comes to Deltarune which is what I'm basing my answers on

Does the over-popularity of maybe 3 specific characters at any time count here? Because if it does this is my answer 100%, I HATE THIS TREND

Had to look in my settings for this one lol, I'll list all my Deltarune-related filters: #lancer rpg (<- may seem weird but people who post here don't talk about the Deltarune Lancer at all), #noelle, #noelle holiday, #queen deltarune, & #spamvil. I'm considering getting rid of the "#queen deltarune" tag since this was added when I wasn't keen on Queen, whereas Idrc much about her now

Uh, SPADE KING? HELLO? Who else should I put here, Lancer? Yeah it's these two again, don't be surprised. I would say more but I think most who see this get my points already

Uhhhhh I have literally no idea, I don't follow blorbo stuff too closely

I admittedly don't read a lot of fanfic so I don't know what to put here either  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

See number 3, alternatively I also see a smaller trend of people having Spade King & Lancer be thinner than they canonically are which I also disagree with

Headcannoning Lancer as being too old or too young. Imo, 6 or younger is too young, while anything above 12 is really pushing it. I even think 12 is pushing it a bit, but I can accept it

PEOPLE WHO DRAW LANCER & SPADE KING HOW THEY ARE CANONICALLY. Yeah I know I keep bringing this up, but this is one of my largest issues with both characters, ESPECIALLY Lancer

Dare I mention Spade King & Lancer again? Yeah I'll just stop here

Idk, Spamton maybe? I was against his character for so long because he was SOOO popular (still is lol that hasn't changed about him), but it does kinda irk me that I like him a decent amount now. My opinion of him has definitely gone down since I last ranked him, but still. I guess I was worn down or something again Idk :P

Idk man

Oh boy, I think I'm gonna have to say Suselle. This is LARGELY due to me generally not giving a literal damn about ships, canonical or not. And it definitely seems like Suselle is--or at least will later be--canon. Sorry ship lovers, I don't see eye-to-eye with you on this one

Not my fav part of canon, but the fact that Lancer is CANONICALLY PART OF THE FUN GANG. HOW DO PEOPLE MISS THIS. HOW DO PEOPLE FORGET TO ADD LANCER TO FUN GANG FANART SO MANY FREAKING TIMES. DO Y'ALL HAVE DEMENTIA AND FORGOT LANCER WAS THERE OR NOT?

Literally none. The only ship I can possibly think of is Queen x Rouxls, but I spend 0 time thinking about this ship, plus I don't even know the official ship title for this. This is the ONLY SHIP I have SOME positivity for. I either outright despise or feel absolutely nothing for all other ships

People arguing about Spade King and whether he's a decent character or not. Admittedly I haven't seen too much arguing on this, partly because most people I know online either love his character or are neutral on him. But I imagine this topic would lead to all sorts of chaos

Don't really have anything to say here tbh

Ok I'm done now :P

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

[actuallyitsstar]

hiii 🍓🔪🦷🐚 and 🧩 (for the drama 💅)

✨ writer’s truth or dare! ✨

hi there nonnie !!! tysm for the ask!! i am so sorry for the late response but i hope that u see this and enjoy !! <3<3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

i have no idea anymore tbh lol. i can tell u that the first fic i ever wrote was an episode tag for the mentalist, and that i was probably was somewhere between the ages of 12 and 15???? but i don't remember the specifics that got me into it. i started reading fic (also for the mentalist) when i was like, 11, so, probably because after a year or two i convinced myself to just give it a shot and the rest was history. at the end of the day, though, it probably just comes down to an uncontrollable urge to put that blorbo into a situation!!

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

not for a fanfic, but i had to know SO MUCH about a limited model run of a special drag racing car that ford made in the early 1960s (only a few hundred made, very rare, etc etc) due to a personal writing project i started and then kind of abandoned when i was like, 16 lol. i used to know the production run numbers and engine size and the paint colors and everything by memory. it was ridiculous.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

if you love something, do it. even if you fear you won't do it well- if you love something enough, you love it enough to do it shitty. that's so much better than not doing it at all. learning to let go of my incredibly creativity-freezing perfectionism is an ongoing task that i am not even halfway thru, so trust me when i say i know how tough that rly is. but you always regret the things you didn't try more than the things you did.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

aaaaaah do we still mean in writing lol? or irl? i like a surprise twist or turn in writing quite a lot! i also love foreshadowing and being chased down by the narrative. there's no perfect right answer! as for irl, it depends, but i don't like to get scared or to have plans suddenly changed at the last minute. if it's a surprise outside of those circumstances, then yes, i do!

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

for me it's either poor formatting (i.e. no paragraph breaks, no quotations, no commas, that kind of thing), or (and i hope this doesn't come off rude in any way bc i know we all make different choices stylistically and are all always learning and growing too!), and this might just be a me thing, but if the pov is from like. a god-mode position where the third person narrative knows what every character is thinking at the same time and it's not just switching povs or like. one character's prediction of another's pov. but like. idk what that is called. it just kind of breaks my immersion to the story i think, so i don't tend to vibe with it!

again, thank u so much anon !!! i hope u have a lovely day !! <3 tysm for stopping by my blog and taking time to send in an ask aaaa!

[icarianiscariot]

for the ask game: top 5 fictional characters 🤔🤔

you come to my house and ask me who my most blorbo of all blorbo are???? U COME TO MY HOUSE AND MAKE ME CHOOSE CHILDREN OF ALL TIME ANYTHING????? IN MY OWN GODDAMN HOME?????

okay I told myself I could do top five of all things of all time, but I'm weak, I'm doing 5 book/real person actor characters, and 5 anime/cartoon, bc I. I can't—

In no particular order, characters from books or portrayed by an actor:

James T. Kirk (Star Trek), my beloved golden genius dumbass

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars), my beloved disaster traumatized murder boy

Mark Watney (The Martian), yet another absolute disaster in outer space???? Help I'm noticing a trend here

Percy Jackson himself, I love this boy so dearly and hey look we broke the space streak

Cecil from WTNV. Like, idk, I don't think I'll ever get over how joyfully weird he is.

In no particular order, characters from anime/cartoons/etc.:

Makoto Naegi (Danganronpa)

Yang Xiao Long (RWBY)

Reki Kyan (Sk8 the Infinity)

Hunter (The Owl House) - tentatively putting him on here bc I love him so much but he's definitely a newer blorbo so... Of all time?? Hmm yet to be sure

Hiro Hamada (Big Hero 6) - this is my biggest comfort movie so of course he's gotta be here :,)

I'm positive there are sooo many more that I'm going to feel bad for not including but aaaaaaa oh well ;^;

Honorary mentions: Jack Skellington (the blorbo from whom I stole my name at age 13), Newt (The Maze Runner), Icarus (...yes from Greek mythology), Carl Grimes (The Walking Dead), Nightcrawler (X-Men), Deadpool, the entire cast of Bungo Stray Dogs, all my Genshin Impact mains, Kageyama Tobio (Haikyuu), Jesper from Six of Crows,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

...yeah. Yeah. I'll just stop myself there LMAO

ask me about my top 5 of anything!

[nico-drives-badly]

From the creator of the critically acclaimed DMC fanfic “Life Rewritten”, here are Nico’s words of wisdom and advice for writers everywhere:

Not every chapter is going to come to you easily. Don’t let that discourage you from writing it.

Eventually, you WILL get burned out. Remember to be patient with yourself during this time.

Vandalism, arson, grand theft, and manslaughter are okay as long as it’s fictional.

End EVERY sentence with a period. Or a question mark. Or maybe even an exclamation point if you’re feeling daring.

Reading other people’s fics can give you just the inspiration you need to get that idea of yours off the ground.

Get up and pee. Now. Do it now. It’s been 10 hours you NEED to take a break.

OCs are actually the backbone of society and it is always morally correct to make them.

Never let one negative comment get under your skin; that person’s a loser and your loyal fans are already beating the shit out of them in the back of a Denny’s parking lot for you.

Next time someone says that OCs are cringe, tell them that Blorbo from their shows will never fuck them.

Adding AO3 tags is like a Youtube tutorial: it needs to be long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

GO TO THE BATHROOM ALREADY GOD DAMMIT HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS

In case anyone didn’t know, Google Docs has a mobile app and it is a blessing for writers on the go.

Very long words that no one knows the definition of are actually the worst choice for fanfic titles. I’m sorry but someone had to say it.

End your fanfic off with an absolute ZINGER of a period. Or a question mark. Or maybe even an exclamation point if you really want to get jazzy with it.

You know your fanfic better than anyone else. Don’t let some asshole on the internet try to tell you how YOUR story should go.

Opening yourself up to criticism is 100% optional and you are NOT obligated to give negative comments any of your attention.

Unless Capcom literally busts down your door and holds you at gunpoint, you are not required to listen to canon. Like, at all. Write those demon boys however the fuck you want dude it’s called creative liberty.

Umbra. This isn’t advice, I just want everyone to acknowledge my asshole cat OC.

Professional writers literally take years to write their novels. Keep this in mind whenever you’re setting deadlines for yourself.

Now read the first letter of each bullet point.

✧･ﾟ:*April Fools!*:･ﾟ✧

[saint-starflicker]

I concur.

There is absolutely no Dead Dove that approaches anything like the atrocities that Juliette by the Marquis Donatien Alphonse François de Sade visited upon my psyche—but I could, and did, DNF that, because...the book can't fight me. It has no seconds to call upon, to negotiate a duel with. I am already the master of what the fiction text is allowed to do to me. I could shut the book.

And then Angela Carter said it was her favorite and could be framed in a feminist way (now that the author is literally dead) actually, and I hate that book and I hate Angela Carter for recommending it, but you know what? She's right. The text must continue to exist in the first place to be framed, re-framed, and criticized. The author is literally dead so we are not funding the Marquis' crimes.

There's somebody out there saying that there's a difference between reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which is published as a real book and therefore is real art (implied), versus those depraved AO3 fanfictions that are causing statistically significant rates of incest [ studies never cited ] — and who says that on posts about real life book banning, and who then backpedals because it's like oh we were talking about real literature, yeah that's bad to censor.

And I want to say, no, there is no difference. People in the Traumacore Coquettes hashtags mostly read Lolita and interpreted it correctly: it's a condemnation of the subject matter of its central conflict. But mainstream culture that misinterpreted and reframed the story to be about a "precocious" girl, and movie adaptations that turned it into a romantic comedy or tragic forbidden romance, interpreted it very incorrectly. We do have a problem in our culture that the responses to the story of Lolita did highlight.

The book's existence is not the problem, and the attitude that the portrayal of verboten subject matter in fiction even with categorization tags must be curated away with—I dare say is the same attitude that's getting so many books banned.

It's not about morality, it's about control. There is no difference in that when we're talking about censoring fiction.

Double-Edged by Nyla K is "a real published book" too, and I found a review that compared it to Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews except that I think Flowers in the Attic actually had something substantial to present about how it is repression of what's verboten that actually ensures that very verboten thing will persist in even worse ways.

People can't keep blaming all of the above titles on AO3, which hosts such a big volume of other stuff too that the Dead Doves are a small percentage of [ somebody else crunched the numbers of ratings and tags with this, I can't find the post right now though but yeah — AO3 is not "the cesspool of forbidden smut" site; a lot of us use it to turn our blorbos into flower-petal-coughing merpeople with wings who are also café baristas ].

I bet James Child didn't catch half this much flack for similarly trying to preserve a body of artistic expression that was accessible to commonfolk.

My beef is that there's pretty much never clarity in subject position or framework when criticizing the (percentage-wise very few!) "depraved" fanfictions either. If a cradle of silhouettes & shadows gets lumped in with The Briarwood Chronicles and both called for removal as Dead Doves then yeah I guess I'll be fighting for the merits of (gag) The Briarwood Chronicles to keep on being a preserved document in an archive, even as I despise the latter as reading and even if I think the author's socmed should be put on some sort of watchlist.

I'm usually irritated by the people sneering about fanfic insisting it is just intrinsically inferior to early modern writers raiding Ovid or Chaucer or the news or each other or whomever. I've never seen anyone have a decent rationale beyond early modern writing is intrinsically Art and fanfic is intrinsically Not Art, because of reasons (the artistic purity of working within early modern patronage and censorship, I guess?).

I'm not talking Shakespeare specifically (though Lear <3). He was by no means alone in borrowing characters and plots from previous sources and then doing his own thing with them. A lot of my favorite plays of the time re-purpose established stories in this way.

But also, it comes around to kind of funny when people are not only insisting that fanfic is definitionally Not Art and in some way totally different from the usual kind of borrowing that goes back millennia, but also that fanfic is somehow morally degenerate and harmful and unhinged in a new and shocking way.

Because if early modern English literature is defined by anything, it's being absolutely fucking unhinged.

I mean! The Revenger's Tragedy?? The White Devil (borrowed directly from the murder headlines)??? My best beloved 'Tis Pity She's a Whore (pretty obviously a spin on Romeo and Juliet But Now With Incest and Even More Murder)? These things are batshit. And fantastic! I love them! But holding them up on some pedestal of artistic and moral purity is just bizarre IMO.

There are differences between what they did and contemporary fanfic because we live in different eras and cultures, in some ways radically so, because copyright and intellectual property work so differently now and have affected storytelling so much, because of the effects of things like genre romance and the Internet and AO3, because patronage and censorship now work very differently in a lot of ways, because educations and literary norms are so different, and so on.

But is fanfic in some way uniquely trashy and shocking by contrast to what those men were thinking up? Nah.

[lildoodlecat]

I posted 2,958 times in 2022

That's 1,521 more posts than 2021!

201 posts created (7%)

2,757 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lordofcalamity

@anxiousgod

@hungrydolphin91

@fontasticcrablettes

I tagged 2,939 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#tales of zestiria - 603 posts

#mikleo - 428 posts

#sorey - 394 posts

#f - 306 posts

#mdzs - 303 posts

#tgcf - 275 posts

#sormik - 248 posts

#svsss - 244 posts

#wei wuxian - 202 posts

#jay yells - 196 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#tgcf is my favorite series ever since i read it back in february i hope to inflict it upon as many friends as possible (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes I think abt how neither Shang Qinghua OR Mobei Jun are going by their real names

Shang Qinghua? The name of the character Airplane transmigrated into!! (Tho there are some hc's that sqh was his self insert w/ his real name and those are fun)

Mobei Jun? Inherited name!!! Jun is just a suffix akin to lord or smth (don't quote me on that I don't have my book handy I just remember it's high status) and Mobei is passed down through his family to whoever is to inherit the power from their predecessor

Like wtf you two you live like this?? Anyway they should kiss and/or fuck abt it

114 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I finished rereading the main story of scum villain and got emotional fuuuck

how are bingqiu so!!!! how dare they do this to me fucking

"This time, no matter where you wish to go, this master will accompany you."

crying wtff

I also was once again reminded that zzl is a minor character ;w; my best boy..

Anyway waiting for volume 4 for the extras ✨

125 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

Luo Binghe nodded. He had more to say, but he sensed something slightly off. Shen Qingqiu seemed to be paying extra attention to him today. He couldn't help but smile.

"Why does Shizun keep looking at me?" he asked. "Could it be that this disciple was gone for so long that Shizun also missed him?"

"I'm not allowed to look at someone I raised?" asked Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe chortled. "Of course Shizun is allowed. Am I pleasing to look at?"

Shen Qingqiu shook his head while smiling, and he considered his next words.

one of my favorite scenes from when lbh was still a 'white lotus' as sqq would say ✨

too bad his shizun is so dense with internalized homophobia and dumbass he doesn't even know lbh is flirting with him at all,,

ah sqq you are such a silly man I love watching you fuck around and find out

130 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#2

"the fact that sqq ended up marrying blorbo from his books"

ik it's been said but putting it like this has me losing it sjxkdk

Truly a man living the dream (with the catch of 'all the other shit that happens to him first')

205 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when it comes to mxtx novels they're all a lil (maybe a lot) fucked up and dark in their own ways but there is a key difference in how I enjoy them

mdzs and tgcf: a little silly sometimes but also gripping story and ✨romance✨

svsss: caught between laughing my ass off and just trying to hold on to whatever the fuck is happening bc scum villain does weird shit and then just keeps going

220 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[geekinthelowlands]

I posted 897 times in 2022

That's 789 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (1%)

888 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ladyshinga

@wingedyera

@lunellum

@petraforgedyke

@seananmcguire

I tagged 86 of my posts in 2022

#gow spoilers - 3 posts

#gow ragnarok - 3 posts

#my blorbos ;; - 2 posts

#hahaha - 2 posts

#writing - 2 posts

#creative writing - 2 posts

#ahahaha - 2 posts

#this is monmon - 1 post

#mostly just trying to do what they think is right and best for their families - 1 post

#responding is option though - 1 post

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#i watched this movie so much and made my parents rent it so often that they decided it was more financially responsible to just buy it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I am having totally normal amounts of feelings for the new God of War game. It's fine.

1 note - Posted November 17, 2022

#4

16 or 30

16. Where do you feel most at home?

This is... harder than I thought it would be? I don't know it off the top of my head, but when I'm there, I recognize the feeling. Sometimes when it's with certain people, regardless of the physical location. Other times, I can just be alone and relax whatever has knotted itself in my core.

30. What do you do to feel at peace?

Uhhh. Why are these such stumpers?

Listen to music, I guess? Sometimes I can find peace in an activity (like baking), but other times that same activity just infuriates me. What *do* I do to feel at peace?

Fuck.

1 note - Posted September 21, 2022

#3

“Just ask,” she whispered in Sara’s ear in a husky voice as they stared down at the blue and green ball that was Sara’s home planet. “Just ask, and I will spare them all.”

A shiver ran down Sara’s spine as she looked at the planet, spinning on heedless of the danger. Even though she knew she wasn’t looking at her planet, large windows were a ridiculous risk on a spaceship. The screens that surrounded them, however, were so realistic that she couldn’t help the flutter of fear in the pit of her stomach. Her breath caught as Chlo gently trailed the backs of her fingers over Sara’s cheek.

“Aren’t you supposed to offer something else?” Sara’s voice trembled as she turned her head to study Chlo, who gave a soft chuckle as she walked over to lean on one of the screens. Sara resisted the urge to pull her away from the endless black that surrounded them.

“What would I offer that I haven’t already done for you? I have killed and died, making those meaningless sacrifices to prove my love. But to spare a life? To let those live that I think should die is a gift I have given no one else.”

[I don't know what this is, but I just had to write this little snippet. Inspired by this post https://ladyshinga.tumblr.com/post/690808917292351488 ]

1 note - Posted July 27, 2022

#2

I'm on such a different schedule to many of my mutuals, I sometimes wonder what it's like. I know there are people who "queue" things. I don't. I come on this hellsite (affectionate) and go through what people have posted and just... like and reblog as the fancy strikes me.

So, uh, sorry if you follow me and get flooded every night in your sleep XD

2 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Maybe it's because I know that my Tumblr is a tiny corner of the internet where few dare to tread but here is where I feel I can write something.

My brother's birthday is coming up, and with everything that has been ongoing for everyone globally and me personally, the date has been hitting harder this year.

My brother would have been 46 years old on the 15th of this month. What would our relationship look like? Would we have bonded, like my sister and I managed to do once we started to get away from my parents? Would we have lost all touch?

I get a little down when it comes to the anniversary of his death because it's a terrible thing to remember. It's a time period that's engraved deep in my core. But what's worse, in some ways, is coming up to the date of his birth and thinking about all the birthdays I didn't get to celebrate with him. All the happy things I didn't get to share with him.

It's been years, and the grief gets smaller and mostly I'm ok - but it never really goes away. You always miss them, no matter what anyone says.

6 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →