#.......totally nothing to do with the fact he's a dark haired drummer... ........

[saltyground]

GANGgajang - "The Bigger They Are" (1986)

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Anything

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), Rough Oral Sex (blow job, face fucking), Spanking / Whipping (with a drumstick), Obsessive Reader, Toxic / Power Imbalanced Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Suggested Dubcon / Reluctant / Compliant Reader

Words: 10,418 

Pairing: Drummer!Bakugou Katsuki x Superfan!Fem!Reader

Quirkless, Punk rock band AU

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Tags: @lady-bakuhoe​, @gallickingun​, @mirakumiruku​, @wakaoujisenhime​, @sunnieskies02​, @hisoknen​

Art in banner by me.

This was incredibly frustrating. Finally, after years of admiring and being an incredibly dedicated fan, you were standing in front of your favorite punk rock band. They were just a few feet from you, so close that you could reach out and touch them. How badly you wanted their full and undivided attention was near suffocating, and yet, it was so difficult for you to find the courage to speak at all. You had given them your name after you had been brought backstage for the meet up, which was a perk of the insanely expensive VIP tickets you and your friends had purchased. 

That’s all that you had been able to say. Your friend, however, was absolutely bursting with questions. You were very close to her, but damn, you wished that she would just stop talking long enough for someone else to get a word in. All day you had been brooding over what you wanted to ask, what you wanted to say to these men that had been such a huge part of your life for the last few years. Their music had inspired you, made you cry, pumped you up so much that you’d jump around your room and just jam out. But, more than that, they had saved you. You didn’t know how to explain it, or even how it happened in the first place, but you had truly begun to feel like their existence is what you lived for. 

Was that unhealthy? Probably. But who could blame you? You loved every single one of them. All five men were like your best friends, and you felt so close to them from your time following them on social media and attending their concerts. You knew them like the back of your hand, from birthdays, to favorite food, drinks, hobbies, past or current girlfriends, and you had even found out their personal telephone numbers. Had you ever called them? No, of course not. That would be creepy. 

Midoriya Izuku, the band leader and lead singer, was being the most engaging as far as answering questions. Unlike their punkish attire and aesthetic, he was like sunshine, incredibly friendly and soft with his curly green hair and freckled cheeks. He was adorable, able to make all the little fangirls scream and squeal with his grin and a cheeky wink. 

Todoroki Shouto, lead guitar and backup singer, was the quiet pretty boy of the group, breaking hearts with his intense and piercing stare. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a soft side to him, but more than anything, he was extremely dense, and his genuine confusion was what made him so desirable. 

Kirishima Eijirou, second guitar, was another ray of sunshine amongst the black clothes and punk piercings. He loved to get the crowd riled up, his endless energy and cheery personality infectious. Out of everyone, he was the most openly friendly without a hint of shyness and treated everyone like he had known them forever. 

Kaminari Denki, bass guitar, was the group idiot. He was nice, but often did and said things that could get the group into trouble or make a fool of himself in the public eye. Funny and playful, he could make anyone laugh, either from a joke or from just being a silly fool. 

Although you adored them all, one of them had you in his grip, like your heart had been locked in a vice that grew tighter every time you saw him. The fifth member, Bakugou Katsuki, was your absolute dream man. Rough, arrogant, mean, and foul mouthed, he was the bands second in command, drummer, and backup singer for moments that required his deep and gruff voice. God, he was everything you ever wanted in a partner. Boyfriend. Husband. Whatever! You wanted him so badly that you dreamed about it constantly, picturing yourself in those strong arms or having those calloused hands on your body. Much to your misfortune, he was the most private on social media, so there was still a lot about him that you didn’t know. 

That was one of his most attractive qualities to you. His mystery and his silence. What was he really like? Was he this grumpy and off putting with those close to him? Did he have a gentle side of any kind?

You wanted to know everything about him! But, standing here in front of the entire band, you were frozen, not able to make a squeak. Even your eyes were locked on the floor, unable to look up at them in fear that you would gawk a little too intensely. Or start crying. One of the two would happen, probably. 

Your chance to interact with your heroes was slipping by with each moment, however, and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to have this chance again. What did you want to say? What questions had you thought about? You had a million of them, all you had to do was just say one. Something. Anything! 

“Bakugou-!” 

The name slipped from your lips in a sharp snap, which tapered off at the end with a tremble. Just as the sweet name left your lips, your eyes darted up, catching the confused and irritated crimson glare of the blonde drummer. At first, you were taken aback by his current appearance, still flushed and sweaty from the concert performance. His blonde spiked locks were wild and unruly, bangs stuck to the sweaty skin of his forehead and cheeks. He was so handsome, all messy and hot--

“U-uhm…” Your friend that stood beside you gave you a nudge in the side, though she was unable to pull your gaze away from Bakugou, who’s annoyed snarl made your heart begin to race. “[Name], I was about to ask something else…” 

“What’d you want to say, you damn shitty extra.” Bakugou barked at you, ignoring your friends' whine at being interrupted. “Don’t just bark out my name and then stand there like a fucking moron.” That gruff and demanding voice was intoxicating, making you involuntarily clench your thighs together and clutch at the fabric of your skirt.

“I… I was wanting to know. Uhm,” Your eyes darted across his face and his chest as you tried to think of what you had been wanting to ask him. You couldn’t remember for the life of you, but as your gaze landed on the piercing he had on the bridge of his nose, a thought popped into your head and curiosity flourished instantly. “How many piercings do… do you have?” 

Bakugou’s eyebrow cocked in initial confusion at the question, before returning to its usual furrowed position. “The fuck? That’s kind of personal, ain’t it?” 

“I’ll tell you how many I have.” You weren’t sure if the teasing, flirtatious sound of your voice was purposeful or not, but just hearing yourself made the tips of your ears flush. “Five types… Nine piercings total. I bet you beat me on that, hm?” 

“Tch, that’s fucking nothing, you little punk poser. I have nine types, thirteen total.” Bakugou shoved his hands into the pockets of his loose shorts, pulling the fabric down just enough to show the skin of his left hip and a peak of his boxers. One of the stated piercings gleamed in the light once exposed, and it took all your willpower to not hyper focus on it. “Not like you’ll ever know them all or see them.” 

“I bet I could guess.” “You’d fucking fail, moron-”

“A-ah, let’s not!” Midoriya interrupted, giving a nervous laugh and a wave of his hand to pull your attention off Bakugou. “We’re not here to talk about such personal things, you know! Right, Kacchan?” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Bakugou shifted his weight from his right foot to his left, giving an annoyed click of his tongue. “I’m not in the mood for this bullshit.” 

“Why?” You once again spoke without thinking. “Because you missed your cue during Collide?” The accusation immediately had Bakugou’s eyes widening in surprise before he scoffed, glaring crimson daggers at you.  

“Well aren’t you just a fucking super fan.” 

“I try to be.” Although you knew that he wasn’t kind to you, the fact that he noticed your extreme interest in the band made your cheeks flush, looking down at the ground between your black combat boots. The t-shirt you had paired with your skirt was your favorite that you owned of the bands merchandise, and just seeing it as you gaze down over your chest made your stomach bubble nervously. Was it really that obvious? Was it weird to him? Did he like it? 

“Ah, well, anyway!” Your friend piped in again, taking a step closer to Midoriya with a sparkle in her eyes. “Deku! Please, tell us about your girlfriend!” 

Midoriya instantly went into his flustered state of rubbing the back of his head, his stuttering and embarrassed gibberish cracking with his exhausted voice, leaving you once again off to the sidelines. With a small, quiet sigh, you fiddled with the hem of your skirt, more questions burning on the tip of your tongue. In your down casted vision, you saw Bakugou’s feet shift, and there wasn’t a second thought in your mind about looking up at him. Your gaze immediately locked with his, which was still a dark and threatening glare. 

Your heart instantly skipped a beat, the heat in your cheeks growing hotter. Had he already been looking at you? Why was he glaring so intensely? You didn’t think that he would get upset with the mention of his mistake that you had pointed out, but perhaps he had gotten embarrassed? In truth, you hadn’t meant your statement to be argumentative in any way. You were more concerned about him. Messing up during a performance was a big deal, and though most people might not have noticed, you were curious if it was eating at him or if he just doesn’t care. 

Then, he made a move that you didn’t expect. With a quiet click of his tongue, he began to make his way out of the room, only stopping at the door when Kirishima spoke up. 

“Woah, man, where are you going?” The redhead interrupted Midoriya, who also looked at Bakugou curiously. 

“I work a lot harder than all of you assholes during a show! I’m sick of fucking standing around, and these losers aren’t even interesting. I’ll be in my room.” Before anyone could stop him, the door slammed shut with his exit, and you turned your attention to Midoriya as he sighed. 

“A-aha, I’m sorry about Kacchan! He’s uh… he doesn’t like meetups much.” 

“That’s a shame…” You mumbled under your breath, already missing his presence. You could still feel that glare on you, so threatening and dangerous. This had been your chance to really make yourself stand out from the crowd and show him how genuinely interested you were in him, and you wasted it. You cared about him more than these other women that fawned over him like brainless zombies. You were perfect for him. You knew you were, without a doubt, and you wanted him. 

It was true that the rest of the band members were close to your heart, that you admired all of them as your heroes. But Bakugou… You had just ruined your chance to talk with him and get to know him. 

There wasn’t anything else you could do.

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” Your question once again popped out of your mouth during the middle of a conversation, though instead of stopping it, Kirishima smiled at you sweetly. His kind face and gentle touch to your arm to lead you away from the group so he could talk to you had your heart racing, almost too scared to take a step in fear that you’d trip with how distracted you were by his face. 

“Yeah, babe. Go left down the hall, you’ll see it marked. Don’t get yourself into trouble, m’kay?” 

B-babe? Aahh, why would he call me that? He’s too sweet for his own good. Cheeks flushing, you gave a small nod, thanking him quietly before heading out of the room, taking a final quick glance at the group behind you to catch Kirishima giving you a playful wave. Of course, by the time you stepped outside into the hallway, Bakugou had already vanished. Using what you had remembered of the route to get to this room from backstage, you hadn’t seen anything that was labeled as a changing room for any of the men. So, you went left down the hall as you had originally been instructed, glancing at each door you passed to see if there were any names scribbled on the dry erase board many of them sported. 

Your heart nearly stopped when you finally saw it. Bakugou Katsuki, written in red marker with a shitty doodle of what looked to be a hand holding up the middle finger, along with the words “fuck off”. Before going in, you took a moment to press your ear up against the door, listening closely to see if there were any signs of life. There wasn’t a single sound or hint of movement, so gathering your courage and glancing up and down the hall for danger, you took hold of the doorknob, your heart beginning to race as it moved without resistance. 

With a quiet click, the door opened, not making another sound as you cracked it just enough to look inside. The lights were on, and your suspicions that he hadn’t been inside were confirmed. Feeling a bit discouraged, you considered just going back to the room to finish off your time with the rest of the band. That would probably be enough to satisfy your longing for them, right? The others could be great company, and maybe Bakugou would come back before you left. 

But, deep in your chest, you could feel the need to be with Bakugou alone to talk to him one on one. You wanted his attention more than anything, and you knew that there wasn’t going to be another chance for you to see him this close again any time soon. No, you couldn’t run away. You had already come too far to back out now. What’s the worst he could do? Kick you out? Call security to have you removed? Call you names? Press you up against the wall and threaten you? 

Ah, well, maybe that wasn’t all that bad. You’d probably melt in his hands and collapse on the floor in a blushing puddle of tears if he so much as touched you. 

Gathering your resolve, you pushed yourself on into the room, walking lightly and glancing this way and that to make sure he wasn’t just laying on some furniture or something to take a nap. Feeling confident that he wasn’t in the room, you shut the door behind you with a light click, taking a few timid steps into the room. Almost instantly, you were completely engulfed by the scent of his body spray, which you had only been faintly able to pick up while in the group. It was such a powerful scent, bold and intense, just like him. How quickly just the simple scent of him made your core burning hot was a bit staggering, feeling your knees already growing weak and your chest growing tight. 

This is harder than I thought… Just from smelling him like this I feel like I’m going crazy. And he’s not even in here! I should leave before I get too distracted… But… This is his stuff! 

Beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed being in the presence of Bakugou’s possessions, your teary gaze scanned the room methodically, surprised to see that the room was actually very well kept. With his brash personality, you more expected Bakugou’s personal space to be a wreck, but the only thing that was really out of place was a small pile of clothes tossed aside next to a suitcase. A desire to be close to Bakugou driving you, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as you made your way towards it, squatting down. Right on top was the tank top he had just been wearing, still soaked with his sweat. It was the most recent thing that had touched his body. It still had his essence all over it. How could you just leave it there? 

Picking it up, you brought the shirt up to your nose, inhaling deeply. It was absolutely delicious, your body quivering from the excitement and adrenaline beginning to pump through your veins. You were actually holding one of Bakugou’s sweaty shirts in your hands, one that he had just performed in! This was absolutely real. It wasn’t a dream!

Becoming overwhelmed with your feelings for him, you flopped back to sit on your butt, spreading your legs open. Since you were wearing fishnet hose with decently large holes, you had direct access to your already soaked pussy, the little lace thong easily moved aside. Now, all that existed to you was the scent wafting off his shirt and your fingers eagerly stroking your sex, alternating between stroking your clit and digging two of your fingers inside you. The cloth of the t-shirt pressed up against your lips and nose, you panted and moaned softly against it, imagining that you were right up against his chest, his fingers teasing your cunt. 

You were so engrossed in your fantasy that you could even hear him taunting you, that deep growl of his voice in your ear. 

“That’s right, babygirl. You like when I finger that slutty pussy, don’t you?” 

“You’re so fucking wet, you little whore. Dripping all for me.” 

“Getting horny just from the smell on my clothes? You dirty fuck.” 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

The sudden rattling boom of a familiar yell startled you out of your pleasant daydream, turning your moan into a squeal as you nearly jumped out of your skin. Spinning around, you were met with the wide-eyed shocked crimson glare of your dream man, who was standing halfway in the room, as if he had stopped in his tracks upon seeing you. All you could do was sit there in shock, still holding his shirt up to your face as your other hand tried to pull your skirt down between your legs, as if to hide your sin. 

“I,” Stuttering, you tried to gather yourself, clenching your thighs together tightly. “I, uhm, Bakugou, it’s not- How’d you… get in?” 

His shocked expression contorted into one of confusion, then into annoyance, his brows furrowed deeply as he startled at you. “Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t lock the door, ya dumb cunt.” Walking the rest of the way inside, he slammed the door shut loudly behind him, startling you again enough to scurry back against the wall, your knees pulled up to your chest protectively. “What the fuck are you even questioning me for? You’re the horny bitch sitting on my floor sniffing my fucking clothes and touching yourself.” Without having to look back at the doorknob, Bakugou gave the little lock a twist, setting the latch firmly in place. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you could only stare at him, your eyes captivated by that fierce glare. How hot he made you only intensified now that he was back in your presence, and more than that, the asshole was even shirtless. His flawless muscular figure made your mouth feel dry, as if any and all liquid your body could produce was pooling between your legs. It was everything you could do not to start touching yourself again, clutching onto his shirt with both hands tightly. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I-” 

“You’re just a damn psycho fan, aren’t ya?” Reaching up to give his hair a quick ruffle, Bakugou started making his way towards you, his ruined and ragged skater shoes squeaking against the smooth wooden floor. “I’m surprised you didn’t rip your shirt off during the fucking concert and throw your bra on stage.” 

“I’m not stupid like those girls… I have dignity. And I don’t want a bunch of other people seeing my tits anyway.” Your voice lowered down to a meek whisper by the time he stood in front of you, both of his hands on his hips, as if he were about to scold you like an angry parent. With him so close, your eyes glanced over every inch of his bare torso, drinking in how absolutely flawless he was. What was even more enticing was the piercings he had so proudly boasted about not long ago, a pair of them placed on his collarbones, nipples, and hips. 

“Tch, dignity?” Bakugou scoffed, a sly smirk crossing his lips. “‘Dignity’, the little slut says, as she sits on the floor in my dressing room fucking herself to the stench on my shirt. Pathetic.” 

“What are… Are you going to kick me out?” 

“There’s a lot that I could do to you,” Bakugou’s smirk turned wicked, his lips curling up to show his gums. “But how about you tell me what the fuck you were doing in here?” 

“I just… I really wanted to get an autograph or picture with you. You’re my,” Your breath caught in your throat, not wanting to let it slip that he was your absolute dream man. “You’re my favorite band member.” 

“Then what are you doing with my clothes?” 

An intense burning suddenly rushed to your cheeks with a new round of embarrassment, and with it came the stinging sensation of tears building up in your eyes. What had you been doing? You had just wanted to talk to him more, to get to know him better, and just spend time with your hero. And yet, you had let yourself get completely overwhelmed by a burning desire for him, one that was just too strong to ignore in the moment of solitude with his possessions. You knew that you had a very intense crush on him, but that bad and that… gross? You had told yourself over and over that you weren’t like the desperate women who would do anything filthy to get his attention, yet here you were, sniffing his clothes and touching yourself. 

“I… I don’t know what I was doing.” Your voice quivered as you avoided looking at him, trying to blink the tears away. “That was really gross of me. I had just… wanted to see you in private. I wasn’t getting a chance to talk to you, to any of you, and… I just wanted my chance.” 

“You wanted your chance, eh?” Bakugou brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing it as if he were in thought, contemplating his options. “So much that you’d sneak into my room, to wait for me or try to corner me?” 

Swallowing the lump that had grown in your throat, you coward down back against the wall, wishing that you could just shrink away in shame. Your impulses had completely ruined your chances. He had to think you were a total freak by now, he’d never want to even give you the time of day. 

“Ya know,” Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, taking a half step closer to you. His posture and presence over you was so aggressive and domineering that you couldn’t find it in yourself to move, only pulling your legs up tighter to your chest to try and get further away from him. “You talk all big, saying that you’re not like those other extras out there that’ll drop their pants in seconds for me. That you have ‘dignity’. But I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re just like those other sluts out there, a stupid whore that is driven by nothing but her cunt.” 

You gave a small shake of your head, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs and the swirling in your stomach from how he was treating you. You couldn’t believe it was turning you on so much. “No, I… That isn’t what I wanted.” 

“I think it is. You’re disgusting. Nothing but a filthy super fan and a stalker. Why don’t you just admit it?” 

“Because… It’s not true. I love you, but not… It’s not all like that.” 

“If you loved me, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” The change in tone caught you off guard, his voice no longer accusatory and vicious. Instead, his growl was almost soothing, as if he were trying to calm your frantic thoughts of failure. “You’d do anything to stay in the same room as me. To just be able to fucking look at me or get a shitty autograph, hm?” 

“I would… yes.” Your heart racing, you tried to blink away the tears still prickling in your eyes, but they were persistent. “But if you want me to leave, I’ll… do that, too. I shouldn’t have come here like this in the first place…” 

“You regret it?” Bakugou moved his hands back to his hips, his fingers resting against the pristine shape of his hips with such rugged and confident posture. You were so conflicted on your feelings, and that question only made your throat grow tight. Did you regret it? All your actions up to this point had gotten you here, alone in his room with him, and no matter what the interaction was or may end up being, just getting to be here was a dream come true. 

But what would you do? Would you really do anything he asked of you? Anything? In truth, you didn’t think that you had the courage and you would just annoy him until he kicked you out. What would he even want from you in the first place? You weren’t innocent enough to not have noticed the bulge beneath the zipper of his shorts, pressing up into the fabric. Was this entire situation, having you cowering on the floor in front of him like this, actually turning him on? Did he… like you, then? Was he attracted to you? 

“I asked you a question.” Bakugou snapped when you didn’t answer him, leaning forward a bit to glower down at you with that typical snarl. 

“I don’t… I don’t regret it. I just don’t want to upset you.” 

“Aw, don’t want to upset me, eh?” With a click of his tongue, Bakugou’s snarl stretched into a smirk. “Poor little stalker, scared to upset me. Don’t worry, babygirl. Just do what I ask, and you won’t upset me.” 

“Really? You’re not upset?” 

“Not at all, babe. But you have to do what I say. You’ll do anything for me, won’t you?” The condescending growl of his voice was lost to you, only able to latch on to the pet names and hope of getting back on his good side.

“Yes.” 

“Because you’re not like those other girls. You're my number one fan. Aren’t you?” 

A new burning of heat and tears flared up, unable to stop the happy smile on your lips. “Yes. Yes! I am! I love you so much-”

“Get on your knees.” 

Smile faltering, you were confused by the demand, looking up at Bakugou through your gathered tears. “What?” 

“Get on your fucking knees.” Bakugou snapped again, the gleam in his glare almost… sinister. Still, there was something in you that begged for you to comply, and just like your impulses earlier, you couldn’t ignore it. Squeezing the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands, you slowly shifted yourself up onto your knees as demanded, though the space between him and the wall was limited. Worried about your face being too close to his crotch, you sat back mostly on your legs, but he was quick to correct you. 

“All the way up on your knees.” 

Nibbling at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself up to be kneeling, your eyes glancing and looking everywhere but at the crotch of his baggy blank punk shorts, which reached his knees and ended in tattered fabric. The chains on both hips rattled lightly as he shifted his weight to his other foot, and that slight sound pulled your eyes to look at them, and thus at his crotch. At this angle, you could truly see how strained he was, the form of his cock clearly visible. The heat in your cheeks grew fiercer just thinking about what was just a few inches from your nose, and what was worse, the smell of him was overwhelming all your senses. He must have just recently reapplied his spray after sweating like mad for hours on end, but even his natural scent was enticing. 

“What are you looking at, babe?” 

Bakugou’s voice broke you out of your stupor, bringing you to look up at his face. “Nothing… Just, well…” Your voice tapered off, unable to find it within you to ask him. He obviously had a boner, but what the hell did that mean?

“Open your mouth. Keep those pretty eyes on my face.” His commands had grown softer, as if he were purring at you to keep you compliant. Opening your mouth as told, you peered up at him through your lashes, tilting your head back a little. The way his smirk grew had your skin tingling, but that isn’t what had all your attention. Your focus was on his hips, listening to the rustling of fabric and watching the movement of his arms through your peripheral vision. “Good girl. Now stick out your tongue. And don’t move.” 

Slowly, your tongue lolled out, and the low groan he gave in satisfaction of your obedience had you opening your mouth wider. As you sat there waiting for him, you could feel the saliva beginning to dribble down your chin and along the length of your tongue, gathering in a slick pool before dripping off the tip of your tongue to the floor. 

Suddenly, you felt a hard and hot presence slap against your tongue, making you squeak and recoil back. Though, before you could get far, your hair was in Bakugou’s fist, yanking you back up into position and peering up at him in shocked fear. He was visibly agitated, but his smirk was still wide, teeth bared. 

“What do you think you’re doing, slut? I said don’t move. You told me you’d do anything I say.” 

Trembling now, you pulled your gaze from his to look at his hips, pressing your lips together tightly as you gazed upon his erect cock. As he held it steady with his free hand, you couldn’t help but take in every detail, from the girth and length, the prominent veins and ridges, and the frenum barbell piercing nestled just under the blushing head. It was truly the most attractive cock you had ever seen in your life, and a fire began to rage in your core as you realized that was what had just hit your tongue. 

Bakugou’s cock… He… He wants me to suck him off? What if I’m not good enough… I shouldn’t! 

You could feel the heat of your essence beginning to dribble down your thighs, your poor excuse for underwear and hose completely soaked through. You could feel the throbbing all the way into your stomach, and it was impossible to deny that you were the horniest you had ever been. But this isn’t what you had expected or wanted to do. Was it? 

“That’s what you said, isn’t it?” Bakugou pulled your head a bit closer, giving you a few rough smacks to the cheek with his impressive cock. “You would do anything for me.” With your lips still tightly closed, he ran the tip of his cock across them, smearing his precum along your skin. “So be a good girl and give my cock a little kiss. Be sweet, now.” 

Although the demand was embarrassing, the pressure of his grip on your hair and his cock literally at your lips made you feel like you truly didn’t have a choice. He was in control of all of this. He could do anything he wanted. He could get you arrested, even. You had to do what he said, not only for your own benefit, but because you adored him. So, you placed a tender kiss right beneath the head, your eyes fluttering closed. Abandoning the t-shirt in your hands, you reached up to softly caress his cock, using your grip to move it up to give you more access to the underside. Your kisses were quite timid at first, but as one lingered against the underside of his shaft, the pulsing you could feel against your lips made your body ache. 

Eventually, your kisses became more passionate, even giving light suckles and little kitten licks, teasing the piercing and the sensitive head. Hearing him groan with the attention pulled your eyes up to look at him, a bit surprised to see that his cheeks were quite flushed, and his smirk had faded. Was he really enjoying this? 

Bracing himself against the wall with his free hand, Bakugou only further crushed you with his overwhelming presence and dominance, making you pause in worry. “Good girl. Now open your fucking mouth.” 

The instant your lips parted wide enough, Bakugou simultaneously pulled your head and pressed his hips forward, shoving his cock into your mouth, the tip stopping at the back of your tongue. Squeaking and groaning in surprise of the forced entry, you clutched on tightly to his thighs, only just having noticed that his shorts had fallen around his feet. His boxers had simply been pushed down out of the way, but the elastic kept them up on his hips for now. You were unable to move, his grip on your hair too tight to pull back. He didn’t want you to do the work? 

“That’s it, baby. Keep that mouth nice and open for my cock. You don’t gag easily do you?” You could hear the feigned concern in the question, and the only answer you could give is a furrow of your brow, new tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. “Oh well. Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” 

It was then that Bakugou began to thrust his hips, fucking your mouth slow and shallow. You were actually surprised that he started out so cautious, but you could tell that the pleasure was beginning to grow quickly. “Fuck babe, you’re such a good little slut for me.” Ever so slightly, he began to thrust faster and deeper, until the tip of his cock was hitting against the back of your throat. You were lucky that you didn’t have a strong gag reflex, as you knew that anyone who did would have already puked all over him. But you could take it. You could take it for him, to let him have his way with you just to stay with him a little longer. 

Though, you were finding that it was difficult, breathing in through your nose and trying to distract yourself from the burning in your jaw. Each thrust had your nose touching his pelvis and his balls slapping against your chin, which was coated in drool that dripped freely. It was so difficult to handle him, in fact, that you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks, only further displacing your already ruined makeup from crying earlier. You were a mess already, but the fire within you didn’t falter. If not for needing to grip onto his thighs to keep you balanced, you would be touching yourself again, the craving for your own pleasure just as suffocating as the dick in your throat. 

Still, your struggles were worth it. You got to watch Bakugou’s expression, his brow no longer furrowed in anger but in pleasure, his eyes glazed over with the undying need for release. His face was flushed and sweat was already beginning to drip down along his skin, his body still affected by the intense performance he hadn’t finished not even an hour ago. The way his body moved, muscles tensing and rolling beneath your grip on his thighs. He was so gorgeous. 

You had expected him to finish in your mouth, but after some time of fucking your throat raw, he stopped, holding the back of your head as he dug his cock as deep in as he could. You groaned and whined from the pressure, wishing desperately for relief while pushing on his thighs. With his own groan and hiss of pleasure, Bakugou pulled out of your mouth slowly, his smirk returning as he took in the sight of you. “You should see yourself. Filthy. Keep your tongue out.” When he finally removed himself completely, you took in a deep breath, gasping and panting to try and recover from the brutality you had to endure. Your tongue, however, stayed out as he demanded, allowing him to rub the underside of his tip against it. 

“You’re fuckin’ hot, you know that? So fucking sexy. I bet you have a nice tight little pussy, too.” After a few rough slaps of his cock against your tongue, he took a step back, stepping out of his shorts as he did so as well as his shoes, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. “Stand the fuck up.” 

Swallowing hard, you took the moment of getting to your feet to wipe your chin of the mess of liquids, but you didn’t get much time to steady yourself. Snatched by the arm, Bakugou dragged you over a few feet towards the couch, grabbing you once again by the hair and forcing you down over the armrest. The couch was quite tall, so with your upper body pressed into the cushions and your hips snuggly in place against the armrest, you could barely touch the floor with your tiptoes. It was another uncomfortable position, but you ignored the pressure on your belly as your ass was suddenly exposed to the cold air of the room, your skirt flipped up out of the way. 

“Fuck you have a nice ass.” Gripping your backside with both hands firmly, Bakugou squeezed and spread you open, taking in the pleasant view. “What a fucking punk poser you are with these shitty fishnets. They don’t even do shit.” Digging his fingers into the holes along your crotch, he gave a rough yank, ripping the fabric open to give him easy access. “Holy fucking shit, you should see how wet you are, babygirl.” 

You whimpered at the feeling of his thumb stroking along your sex, the slick that coated your skin giving him no resistance. You could feel it, all over your inner thighs and aching cunt, but now your favorite person in the entire world could see it, too. He could see how wet he made you, how getting tossed around by him made you feel. 

I… I didn’t agree to all of this. I know it isn’t right. I didn’t want it to go this far, but… How can I stop him? Why would I stop him? He’s… I love him so much! I want him to touch me, even though I know I shouldn’t--

Your thoughts were cut off by your own gasp, your body tensing and legs bending at the knee involuntarily at the sudden pleasure that rocked through your body. You knew what it was, his tongue hot and eager against your clit as he ate you out. The sounds of him lapping at your cunt and grunting in delight at the taste of you had your mind spinning, the pleasure devouring your body. Not wanting to be heard by anyone outside, you moaned and gasped into the fabric of the couch cushion, digging your nails into it as you did everything you could to not writhe out of his grip. 

You were so sensitive to his touch that you could feel everything, from his nails digging into your hips to the way his tongue piercing slid across your clit. It was as if he knew exactly how to use it to be able to drive you completely insane, the hard metal sending shocks of lightning through your body with each stroke and flick. 

“Ba-Bakugou, ahh-!” You tugged and pulled at the couch cushion in your grip, digging the toes of your boots into the floor. “It’s too much! Wait--!” 

“Too much? Don’t be such a fucking wimp. You’re my little slut, aren’t you? You can take anything I give you.” As he stood back up, you looked up at him over your shoulder, having to peek through your messy hair to see him. That wicked and excited smirk was back, and you were only able to watch as he gripped your ass in his hands, sliding his cock between your cheeks to coat himself in your essence. “And I know what you want me to give to you. You want my dick inside you, babygirl?” 

Immediately, you stomach rolled nervously, eyes on the tip of his cock and the precum dribbling from it. You were on birth control, there wasn’t necessarily anything risky about that, but there was something else that pricked at the back of your mind. If you did this with him, then you knew that you could never settle for another man. You would want him forever, as you always had, but would you ever get a chance like this again? Would you ever even see him again after today? 

It doesn’t matter… I’ll do it! 

“Yes! Yes, Bakugou, I want you.” You were surprised as he leaned away from you for a moment, though what he was doing was quickly made clear as he came back into full view with a drumstick. The way that it was beaten and chipped told you that it was one he had used that performance, and the other was probably close by, set to be discarded or handed out to fans. 

“And why do you want me?” Bakugou dug the stick into your hose, giving a sharp yank to further rip the delicate fabric and expose more of your ass to him fully. “Just because I’m your favorite of the band?” 

“No!” You couldn’t help but become defensive. “I… I care about you more than that!” You bit down onto your bottom lip as he began to run the tip of the stick across your skin towards your cunt, mind racing with thoughts of what he was going to do with it. You could still feel and see his cock between your cheeks, hot and pulsing, and you were honestly surprised that he could hold out to tease you this long. Just seeing you like this, bent over and so submissive, was enough to keep him going long enough to torture you a bit. 

“You love me? Even though I’ve slapped you, pulled your hair, and fucked your throat until you went hoarse? Even though I have your ass bent over the couch and haven’t given you any more than a few minutes of pleasure?” Suddenly, he brought the stick down hard onto your ass, making you yelp out and tremble beneath him. The pain was so good! You wanted that again, and you received it without having to ask, a moan slipping from your lips. 

“Yes! I’ll love you no matter what you do to me! Always! I love it when you throw me around and use me like this! Please, use me more! I’m your little slut, Bakugou--” You were silenced as he leaned over you, his palm pressing into the side of your face and pushing the hair roughly away from obscuring your flushed and teary features. Now with your full attention, Bakugou smirked, narrowing his eyes at you. 

“No, no, my pet. Call me by my name.” 

The heat that rushed to your face made even his burning palms feel cool, trying to blink the tears away as they rushed down the side of your nose to soak into the couch. Was he being serious? He wanted you to call him by name… by his first name. Something that he never allowed anyone but those close to him to do, and you had seen him on more than one occasion snap at people when they did it. He was huge on respect and feeling dominant over others, so to him, his given name was sacred. 

“Ka… Katsuki…” You couldn’t speak any louder than an airy whisper, though his reaction was enough to tell you that he enjoyed it. Smirk growing, Bakugou sat up from over your back, his fingers curling into your ruined hair as he began to rut his hips against you. His cock stroked slowly against your ass, his tip teasingly pressing into your cunt before slipping up back between your cheeks. 

“Again.” The drumstick still in his free hand, he brought it down hard onto the already abused and welted cheek, right as your voice had begun to leave your lips. 

“Ka-ah! Katsuki!” With another whack, your body instinctively tried to shift away from him, though all it did was off set his cock. His tip slipped into you, making you pause, both from the feeling and from the irritated growl that left his chest. 

“What a naughty little bitch, trying to get me to fuck you before I say so.” 

“N-no, it was just--” 

“-- Well if you want it so fucking bad, I’ll give it to you!” Abandoning your hair and the drumstick, he gripped your hips tightly in both hands, sinking his cock into you with one quick snap of his hips. “I’ll show you who fucking owns you!” 

You didn’t have time to think or respond as he began to fuck you, fast and hard. Already, the pleasure was overwhelming, rolling through your body like electricity. It was perfect, everything you had ever imagined and more. The way he filled you up to the absolute brim, not leaving a single inch of you untouched, had the coil in your core tightening so quickly that you couldn’t even think about how to restrain it. You were going to cum very quickly, and you had never wanted to so badly in your life. 

“How does my cock feel inside you, slut?” 

“G-good,” You struggled to choke out a response behind your moans, which squeaked with surprise as he picked up the pace. “It feels good!” 

“You want to cum all over it, don’t you?” 

“Yes!” 

“Beg for it.” 

At first, you couldn’t even comprehend what he was asking you, your mind growing hazy to everything but the pleasure. “I… please!” You reached back, clutching onto his hand tightly, digging your nails into his skin in hopes that it would keep him latched to you. “Please! Please let me cum, Katsuki! I want to cum all over your cock! I love it!” 

When the pleasure stopped, all you could do was sit there in shock, the emptiness you felt as he pulled out of you making your stomach sink. Had you said the wrong thing? Before you could really ask him, you were grabbed by the elbows and lifted up off the couch, your body flipped so you were sitting on the armrest with your legs now loosely hooked around his hips. In the next moment, his strong arms were around your body, one hooked around your hips to pull them snug against his own while the other supported your upper body. What shocked you more than that was the fierceness of his lips against yours, kissing you with intense passion and aggressiveness that you couldn’t help but to give in. 

Wrapping your arms around his torso, you moaned and gasped softly into the kiss, his hips once again rutting against yours to stroke his length against your clit. For a moment, things seemed to feel different than they had during this entire experience. It wasn’t as if he were using you anymore, doing everything entirely for his own benefit. Instead, his touch was attentive, caressing you and moving your body into position without force. Even the way he kissed you was quick to change, from dominating your mouth to a more tender sweetness. You didn’t ever want it to end, but you allowed it when he pulled away, gazing up into his piercing crimson gaze as he pressed his forehead against yours. 

“I want to see that pretty face when you cum.” The growl against your lips was teetering on threatening, as if he were warning you to not even think about turning away or hiding your face in his shoulder. “I want to see how good my cock makes you feel, baby. So cum all over it like a good girl.” As he began to sink his cock into you slowly, you couldn’t control your reactions to it, Your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed as he bottomed out inside you, even biting down onto your bottom lip as you whined. 

“Yes, Katsuki--” Your voice hitched as he began to thrust into you again, his cock reaching even deeper inside you that it had been before. “--Please watch my face… See how happy you make me!” 

“That’s right, you slut. That’s because you belong to me, don’t you? You’d do anything for me.” As he fucked you, he relied on your grip on him to keep you up, both of his hands moving to grip your hips again. As the pleasure began to boil, you dug your nails into his back, your voice spiking as he became rougher with the added pain. 

“Yes! Yes, anything! I’ll be your little slut forever, Katsuki! Just please don’t stop!” It was impossible to tear your eyes away from his even if you wanted to, but it was more than just the fact that they were intoxicating. He may have wanted to watch your face for the visual expressions of pleasure, but he didn’t realize that his demand to keep your eyes on him gave away more than he probably had expected to. There was no anger or frustration that you had seen before. Instead, he seemed absolutely overwhelmed with the pleasure himself, just as you were, and the flushing of his cheeks paired with his upwards furrowed brow gave him almost a… desperate look. Like he was pushing himself to make sure he was fucking you as well as he possibly could. 

Was he feeling some self-consciousness about all of this, too? Or regret for pushing you to this, unwillingly at first? You didn’t know, and you knew in the end he wouldn’t tell you if you asked. 

“Fucking hell, babygirl, your pussy is so fucking tight,” Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours again, wrapping his arms back around your waist to hold you closer, both to the edge of the armrest and his body. “You’re the best fuck I’ve had in months. I hope you’re ready for my cum all over that pretty face--” 

“No!” You moved your arms to wrap around his neck instead, one hand pressing against the back of his head with fingers tangled in his hair. “Come inside me! Please, Katsuki, I want you to fill me up! It’s okay--” Your voice cracked with a cry of pleasure, your encouragement pushing him to fuck you harder and deeper. 

“Then cum for me, bitch. Cum all over my cock.” 

With that command, you couldn’t hold the coil still any longer. It shattered with his movements inside you, each rough hit of his tip against your cervix only prolonging your orgasm and sending wave after wave of harsh pleasure through your body. Trembling, you squeezed onto him tightly, clutching a fist full of his hair and kissing him roughly, moaning and sighing softly into the kiss as he didn’t give you a moment to breathe. Within moments after your climax, his thrusts became slower and erratic, before he was finally able to release. 

Groaning and cursing against your lips, Bakugou kept his gaze locked with yours, not giving you any room to move or pull back as he came inside you. How hot it was coating your walls made you shiver, squeezing his hips with your thighs and pulling yourself in closer. It was an incredible high, and as you both came down from it together, you both loosened your grip on each other. 

For a moment, you stayed connected, your head on his shoulder with your forehead pressed against his neck, able to feel his pulse against your skin and his chest heaving against yours. Had all of this really just happened? You were pressed up against your crush, his arms wrapped around you with one large hand stroking up and down your back softly. It was so strange compared to his aggressive demeanor just moments before. You knew that it should have made you happy, but instead, all it did was confuse you, and you felt a new wave of tears rush down your flushed cheeks. 

Able to feel your tears run down his chest, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue, prying you off him with little pressure. In the same moment, he slipped his semi flaccid dick from within your still aching cunt, pulling his boxers back into place to cover himself. “Fucking crying again? Seriously?” 

Steadying yourself on the armrest with your hands, you kept your gaze downcast, squeezing your legs together as you could feel his cum beginning to leak out. “I’m sorry, Bakugou, I just--” 

“--Katsuki!” 

His loud correction made you jump, looking up at his face in shock as he glowered down at you. His cheeks were still flushed red, but you were unsure if it was from the exertion of what you had just done or from something else. Reaching over, Bakugou wiped your cheeks roughly with his thumbs, before giving you a bump to the bottom of your chin, as if telling you to cheer up. “I already fucking told you, psycho fan. Katsuki.” 

“Right. I… should I leave now?” 

Unsure of what to do with yourself, you stared up at Bakugou expectantly, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. With another click of his tongue, Bakugou bent over and snatched the forgotten drum stick up off the floor, taking a few steps away towards the vanity that was neatly organized with what you assumed he wore during a performance. Picking up what looked like a marker, Bakugou wrote something on the thick end of the drumstick, before presenting it to you. “Here.” 

Feeling your throat begin to close up as nerves began to take hold of you, it took you a moment to even find the courage to look at the stick, scared of what he might have written on it. Of course, it was probably just his autograph, which he had promised you at the beginning of all this. There wasn’t much time to look at it, though, before Bakugou huffed, shoving it against your chest and forcing you to grab it. “Take the damn thing!” 

Body still feeling quite weak, you squeaked as you fell backwards onto the couch from his push, clutching the drumstick tightly. You could see the tips of Bakugou’s ears flush as he scoffed, pointing towards the door that led out into the hallway. It was… cute. 

“Will you get out! Fuck, you’ve wasted enough of my time for now, go back to your friends!” 

For now…? 

Sitting up, you took a moment to fix your hair and wipe your face again, using the edge of your shirt to help you. “Do I look clean enough?” 

“You look just as fucking hot as you did when I first walked in. Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.” Walking over towards his pile of laundry, Bakugou picked up the shirt he had caught you with, tossing it at you and hitting you in the face. “And take that shit with you! You like it so much; you can have it.” 

Clutching both of your new prized possessions close to your chest, you hopped up like an excited child, smiling wide and squealing as you hopped towards the door. “Aahh, thank you, Katsuki! Thank you! I’m… sorry again for intruding…” 

“Yeah, and I’m sorry for the welts on your ass. Now fuck off!” Bakugou barked again, trying to rush you out for whatever reason. Stepping outside, you couldn’t help but take a moment to lean back against the wall when the door shut, breathing heavily and blushing fiercely. In truth, you weren’t sure what to make of that entire endeavor, thrown into a confusing mix of shame, embarrassment, arousal, and longing. You shouldn’t have done that, and yet, you just didn’t want to leave his side. 

“Got a little lost, didn’t ya, babe?” 

The squeal that left your lips was quickly doused by the t-shirt in your hand, jumping and nearly slamming yourself back against the wall in shock of the unexpected voice. Standing across the hall was Kirishima, whose presence you were surprised you didn’t notice immediately. The mischievous smirk on his lips quickly widened into a pleasant grin, uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the wall to stand up straight. Had he been waiting for you to come out?

“You skipped the bathroom, you know! It’s down that way. I decided to come look for you before we were forced to call security guards, but I guess Bakugou found you first.” 

“A-ah, sorry! I… saw him go in his room and I just wanted an autograph.” Holding your treasures close to your chest, your stomach rolled nervously as Kirishima leaned in closer, his eyes locked on the visible part of the drumstick. 

“Aahh, I get it! Bakugou can be kind of a jerk, I’m surprised! But uh… if you want to convince anyone else that you were just getting an autograph, you should really go to the bathroom. I’m sure Bakugou didn’t give you a mirror, but you look like you had a real good time.” You could hear the tone in his voice lower from friendly to flirtatious, and you quickly tried to fix your hair. 

“H-he told me I looked fine!” 

“To him you probably do. May I?” Still grinning with a friendly disposition, you glanced at both of Kirishima’s hands as he held them up in an offering of help, before nodding timidly. He began to run his rough fingers through your hair, fixing it back into a state of normalcy with a tender touch that was so opposite to what you had just experienced with Bakugou. “You’re cute. I can see why he was so into you right away.” 

“That isn’t… normal for him?” Your eyes glanced over Kirishima’s exposed muscular arms and sides, the deep cut in the arms of his tank showing all the way to his hips. You thought you saw his smile turn sly out of the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t be sure. 

“Nah sweetheart. Bakugou might be a lot of things, but he doesn’t go for random chicks.” Seemingly satisfied, Kirishima also used his thumbs to wipe your cheeks and under your eyes. “Such a messy thing.” 

“Thank you, Kirishima… I’m… I’m really sorry for causing you trouble.” Your heartbeat grew heavier as the redhead in front of you didn’t step back, towering over you just as the blonde had. “I’ll go to the restroom and then... Back to the group.” 

With a chuckle, Kirishima nodded, tapping the end of the drumstick a few times. “You do that! I’ll meet you back there, just going to have a few words with our drummer. Careful with this stuff, yeah? Someone might just try to take it.” 

“I will…”

“Go on, then, scoot.” With a nudge, you were pushed forward down the hall gently, only taking a moment to look back at the pleasant smiling man behind you. He was so different from Bakugou and yet they were the closest friends in the band. You knew that Bakugou was going to tell him everything, and you could only hope that it was going to end up a positive conversation. You hated the thought of Kirishima spending the rest of the VIP visit looking at you in disgust, or even the possibility of him putting you down in front of everyone. 

Flustered, you scurried down the hall into the bathroom, slipping into a stall. After pushing down what was left of your hoes and your drenched thong, you plopped to sit, relieving yourself as you held the t-shirt and drumstick close to your chest. Though, it dawned on you that you hadn’t even looked at what Bakugou had written on the stick, so growing curious, you held it with both hands and spun it slowly to look over every inch. The ridges, dents, and splints in the wood were marks of every beat Bakugou had played, a solid crack down the middle representing just how powerful he was. 

In truth, you felt like that drumstick. You were always a splintered person, emotionally broken and splintered off from the world. And yet, Bakugou had touched you with his passion. But did that mean that you were truly broken now? Could you ever be used again by any other person, or would you snap into pieces the instant your heart tried to find its beat again? 

Eyes tearing up, you tried to blink them away, carefully running your finger along the crack until it met with a smudge of black writing. Unlike what you expected, there was no autograph. Instead, the words “Call Me” were scribbled in the black ink, along with a series of numbers. 

Is that… his cell phone number?! It’s different from what I had found… Those must have been fakes.

Reaching down into your boot, you pulled out your phone, having placed it there for safe keeping, though you were surprised it stayed in place the entire time in Bakugou’s room. Without an ounce of hesitation, you created his contact and started a message, sending it so quickly you didn’t even consider the consequences, though his words did ring in your ear loud enough to make you think he was right beside you. 

“Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.”

He said to call him, but… texting is the same, right?

Me 10:45 pm: Katsuki? 

Bakugou 10:47 pm: hey babygirl. ever been to an after party? 

[mickmarstookmyheart]

More Espresso, Less Despresso

Part: 3/?

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: You have a decent conversation with your mom about Mick.

(pic from Pinterest)

You couldn't recall when was the last time you laughed that much while you were at the studio with the Crüe. Tommy was a total goofball, Nikki was kind yet a bit high, and Vince was like a gay friend you were aching for years. Doc seemed the smartest one among them, of course, beside Mick. After you all ate the food you had brought they started to tell stories of the previous concerts and backstage moments. You had a deja vu but not in a good way. Memories and feelings crossed your mind as the hours passed.

"Are you alright? You look a bit pale." Mick asked with a concerned look in his eyes. You had been quiet in the last ten minutes and he noticed it. At first, he thought it was because of your introverted self, but then he saw the tears in your eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay." You sighed blinking fast to get rid of the tears. You didn't want to be weak. You wanted to forget that whole era of your life. And now, you were in the same deep pit.

"Hey, (Y/N)!" Vince yelled, putting his feet on the table. "You are coming with us right?" The blood froze in your veins and you even forgot how to breathe properly. You gulped then put a smile on.

"I don't know, Vince. I barely know you and-"

"That's the point! We want to get to know you." You weren't the most spontaneous one. At least, not anymore. Joining a band on tour after one day was quite a big deal. And your mother wouldn't be so happy either. On the other hand, you weren't sure if you wanted to tag along. You had enough.

"Vinnie, you met her hours ago. You couldn't force her to come with us." Nikki said. "Right, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah." You smiled.

"Well, you know where we are going so feel free to come and see us on a show." Vince winked and drank from his beer.

"Just call me and I will give you a pass." Doc added.

"Thanks, guys, really. But I think I gotta go now." You jumped down from the top of the piano and headed to the door.

"Why so soon?" Tommy pouted standing in front of you blocking the way. He didn't help your situation. You felt horrible and just wanted to go home.

"Please, Tommy." You said shyly. But he didn't move just smirked. You knew he just joked but you weren't in the mood.

"Drummer. Let her go." Mick snapped from behind earning a sigh from Tommy. He stepped aside but patted your back.

"See you soon." He grinned and hopped down on the couch next to his Terror Twin. They were so kind, you hated yourself for leaving. However, you know that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. You wouldn't be able to distract yourself from the memories they all brought back.

"Bye, guys!" You waved and left the room with Mick by your side. After he closed the door you let out a long breath you didn't realize you were holding. You didn't say a word until you weren't in the streets again. "I'm sorry." Mick turned to you while walking with raised brows.

"For what?"

"For leaving so early." You shrugged and adjusted your coat tighter. "I didn't feel like a good company."

"Yeah, I saw that something was up. Wanna talk about it?" You shook your head as a no. You weren't ready to talk about that. You didn't want to tell him the reason you moved there with your mom. Why you were the girl reading in a café. The introvert one, the shy one. Why you had to hide behind this disguise.

"Everything is alright, Mick. Nothing serious, I promise." You showed your most believable smile which he loved. He noticed that you were lost in your thoughts and those thoughts made you sad. He saw that something snapped suddenly after Vince asked but he didn't want to ask there. He asked it now but you didn't feel like telling him and he respected that.

"Got it." He stopped and stood in front of you. "But if you are feeling down or wanna talk about anything I'm here, okay?" He rested his hands on your shoulders. "And it's the most obvious thing to talk to each other every night, right?"

"Of course. Though I will miss my caffeine buddy." You sighed.

"Well, if you visit us at one of our concerts I will take you to the finest café nearby and we will drink a huge amount of that!"

"Pinky Promise?" You asked pointing at him.

"Sure, whatever it is." He looked puzzled but chuckled anyways when you intertwined your little finger with his. "Then you have to promise to me that you will come to a concert as soon as possible."

"I promise." You winked and continued walking home.

∆

"Hey, mom!" You yelled as soon as you stepped in the house and hung your coat.

"Hello, honey! I'm in the kitchen!" She shouted back as she was flipping pancakes. You sniffed in the air and hummed from the delicious smell. You stepped next to her and placed a kiss on her cheek making her smile. You loved your mom more than anyone, even yourself. She was there for you when you needed the most, where you needed the most. She always knew how to cheer you up and make you happy. She knew you better than yourself.

"Smells good." You smirked.

"Thanks. So where have you been? How was your day?" She asked glancing at you while placing the pancake on a plate.

"The café." You lied. Well, you didn't lie just didn't tell your whole day. "Read a book, drank a cappuccino as always."

"Sounds interesting. And boring. Why don't you find a book club so you can meet new people?"

"I like being on my own." You said filling your mouth full with pancakes sitting on the counter. You tried to distract the topic but it was hell hard. "And what about you, mom?"

"But it's not healthy being alone all the time." She insisted making you groan and roll your eyes. "Don't grimace, young lady. And yes, you need to find new friends. Who may help you forget the old ones..." She sighed.

"I like the old ones. But you are right. I need to forget them as all those years from that era." You lowered your head staring at your black leather boots. She was right you knew that. And you did find friends just not the right ones. The guys didn't help you forget, on the contrary. "But enough about me. Do you like your new workplace? Is your boss handsome?"

"Hey!" She threw the kitchen towel right on your face from that last statement. "And to answer your question...FUCK YES! He is tall, dark-haired, and has blue eyes..."

"So basically, your type." You giggled watching her faking fainting.

"Girl, you know me so well!" She laughed. "And his voice...I can listen to it for eternity." She sighed hearts all around her head.

"Then, you are in the best position you can ever be. Being his assistant means hearing his thunderous voice. All. Day. Long." You pointed at her with your fork stressing the last words.

"Don't play with me. And? What about you? Don't tell me you haven't met Prince Charming in that café you go to every day." She glanced at you, but you were staring down avoiding eye contact. "So you've already met him, haven't you?" She asked in a low voice.

"You could say that." You jumped down from the counter and headed upstairs but your mother grabbed your wrist before you could reach the stairs. You didn't know if you should tell her or not. You have a deep connection with your mom, you told everything to each other so she would listen to you. However, her reaction would be quite controversial.

"(Y/N). I could see that there is something wrong." She placed her hand on your cheek giving you a warm smile. "Come. Let's eat then you can tell me everything."

"I'm not hungry. I will start now. So there is a guy." You began.

"Let me guess. Black hair, sarcasm, music lover. Am I right?" Your mom interrupted.

"Damn, mom!" You snapped glaring at her.

"Okay, I will shut it. But was I right?"

"Of course, you were, goddamn. He came to me at that café while I was reading and we started to talk. We have many things in common, more than we should, actually. He is kind, generous, and is a great company." Your stomach did a backflip just thinking about it. At the same time, your heart was aching since you knew it won't be the same. It wasn't your café, not your usual coffee, not the squeaking chair you usually sat on and not the old-fashioned table with the blue cloth covering it.

"Sounds good to me." She frowned.

"Promise me you won't freak out." You looked deep in her eyes making sure she understood what you asked. She nodded so you took a deep breath and prepared yourself. "He is a musician, more precisely, he plays in a rock band. And I know what will you say but please let me finish it!"

"Alright." She swallowed and clenched her jaws.

"They are leaving town tomorrow and when they asked me if I would like to join...I said no. Did you hear me? I said no!" You gripped her hand firmly. You didn't like when she was making that face and it broke your heart. She was disappointed, sad, furious at the same time if that was possible. "I won't meet them again if you tell me not to. But please let me meet Mick once more. Just once so I can say goodbye." You sobbed.

"Honey, you don't need permission for that." She gave you a half-smile. "I trust you, I believe that you know what is good for you. And you are an adult now, you can do whatever you like. Things happened in the past, that's why we moved here. To leave those awful and horrible events which occurred there." She gulped and pressed her eyes together trying to erase those memories from her mind. Drugs, booze, rock and roll, death.

"I love you, mom and I'm so grateful. To have such an understanding and strong mom like you." You stood up, walked over to her, and hugged her tightly. She was the strongest person you've ever known. She lost a son, you lost a brother. And still, she managed to put a smile on her face whenever you felt down, desperate. Moved to another city, found a new job, and continued being the coolest mom on Earth.

"Your brother would be so proud." She sighed letting you go. Despite the fact that your brother overdosed, she still talked about him like it hadn't been his fault. She got over it and tried to remember her son as he was before the drugs. Lively, creative, and cheerful.

"So, this means I can visit them? On the tour?" You asked with full of hope.

"If you can take care of yourself and avoid all those things, then, of course, darling. I want you to be happy and somehow that guy makes you that. I can see it in your eyes and the way you talk about him." She smirked.

∆

Days, weeks, months passed. Lonely days, sitting in the café, reading books. Every time the bell rang above the door you glanced up to see who it was. It wasn't him. You have pretty mixed feelings. Although your mother was okay with it, you just couldn't make your finger pushed those buttons on the telephone. Every time you tried, you just put the phone back to its place and continued suffering.

On the other hand, you were afraid. Scared to see them using drugs and killing themselves with it. You wouldn't survive. You have already seen your brother passing out on the couch while injecting heroin in his veins and it was the most horrible thing you've ever gone through. You shook your head to get rid of the memory and kept on reading. Hours went by and you were about to read the last page when a shadow covered all the lights.

"A moment, David. I'm on the last page then you can close the café." You said not leaving the page.

"Hey, (Y/N)." A familiar voice echoed making you drop the book and gulp.

"Mick?!" You literally jumped up from the chair on him. "Wh-what at you doing here?" He hummed feeling your arms around him and the scent of your hair.

"I was missing my soulmate." He smirked not letting you go. "Cause she didn't visit me against the fact she promised me. And it was even a pinky promise! An unbreakable vow, we are talking about." He chuckled making you grin.

"Well, the tour hasn't ended, has it?"

∆

Taglist: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @safari-karrot @crazyrockrlady @savageandnikkiapproved 🖤

[moondustis]

killjoy (m)

pairing: johnny + reader genre: angst, smut, band!au / word count: 4,7k  summary: He looks at you with his dark eyes and as his hand run lazily on your thigh you realize that Seo Johnny is a demon. A demon messing with your head and you’re letting him. warnings: age difference, kind of asshole johnny, mentions of drinking and drug use, intoxicated sex (both people)

The first time you see him you’re too drunk to stand still and you’re high off something that you can’t remember exactly what it is. 

It was a sketchy bar, filled with college students that just wanted to do something to take their minds off stressful lectures and exams, and Doyoung had brought you to it to celebrate something about an internship that you also can’t remember quite exactly after your sixth shot of the night. He, as a good roommate, had paid for all of them so you weren’t afraid to go all out.

The him in question was Seo Johnny. You don’t know that the first time you see him, of course, but here’s what you know:

He’s in the band, called The Killjoys, that is performing tonight at the bar and they are currently playing some weird indie rock song that is pleasant enough and suits the whole alternative kid atmosphere. He’s the drummer and he moves with such ease that you can’t look away from his hands. Lastly, he’s so beautiful, even with hair covering his eyes, that you wouldn’t mind getting on your knees for him.

Your mind is spinning and your vision blurry when you look at him, almost shining and moving so fast you feel like you’re dreaming. That’s the last thing you remember when you wake up with your head pounding and on the couch.

✱

The second time it happens, you know you’re going to see him. Had invited Doyoung to the bar again for this very purpose. 

The thing is, you are not an obsessive person, not at all. But once something got into your mind, it was a little hard to just drop it. And it's not hard at all to find out that the band played on the sketchy bar every friday night, an ugly flyer posted to their instagram page tells you that. So what else were you supposed to do but put on your best short dress and drag your best friend slash roommate along to your impending downfall? 

The lights in the bar are dim, a few red ones swirling around near the stage  in a cheesy way. It’s more crowded tonight than it was that day, probably something to do with spring break approaching but that's the last thing on your mind as you scan the room looking for something that you know exactly what it is. Doyoung gives you a weird look as he hands you a beer. 

Now, a disclaimer. All of this will sound like you are some silly girl with a crush but that's not what you are. What you are is a girl with a purpose, or at least that's what you tell yourself for comfort. But you believe in going for what you want, even if it is a cute boy you saw once and had to see again. 

The band comes on stage one hour after your arrival and you’re literally shaking from excitement, or the three beers you had, when you see him take his seat by the drums. The song starts and you’re tipsy, mind so clouded that it feels like a scene from a movie with his hands moving fast as another dude sings about some girl that broke his heart. He has a gentle face you think for a second, and whatever girl made him sad was probably mean.

“That’s my friend Taeyong.” Doyoung says excitedly close to your ear but you don’t really pay attention to it at first. “On the keyboard.” 

When it finally dawns on you, your mind feels like it’s swirling. “Oh my god, what? Do you know the rest of the band?” Your voice is just shy of being desperate.

“Not really, but we can go talk to him after they’re done if you want.” He offers but there's a look on his face that tells you he knows exactly what's going on in your mind. Again, it wasn't hard to know when you had such a clear goal.  You’re nodding excitedly even before he finishes talking.

You finish your last beer as the last song is ending, as if to gather some confidence and Doyoung assures you that you look fine when you ask him, but you can’t help but run your fingers through your hair for the fifth time. 

The introductions are simple, Doyoung hugs Taeyong like he hasn’t seen him in ages but they banter playfully as if they have been friends for a while. Then proceeds to tell them about how you two met in high school and became so close that being roommates was just a natural choice. You keep your eyes on Johnny the whole time and he seems bored, like he wants to leave already.

That’s what he does when Doyoung starts talking to Taeyong exclusively. moving from the crowd and you follow him.

✱

The outside of the club is mostly dark, the only light coming from a streetlamp that flickers every now and then. It’s too cold to be here now, your bare legs protesting at your dumb decision of wearing a dress this short. Theres a feeling in your stomach that this would not be the first dumb decision you make tonight.

Johnny lets his back press against the wall, hand disappearing inside his pocket and retreating with a pack of marlboros and a lighter, because of course he had to smoke. You shiver a little from the cold air. 

“You don’t look old enough to be in a bar, pretty girl.” He says, lighting up the cigarette in his hand and bringing it to his lips. The pet name makes your legs feel like jelly at the same time it makes you cringe. 

“Well, I am.” Barely, but still, you are.

“Oh, really?” His voice is teasing, like he doesn’t believe you. “How old are you then?”

He moves closer to where you are standing next to the door, your own back pressed against the wall. When his eyes meet yours with an eyebrow raise you don’t look away. “I’m nineteen.” It makes him scoff.

“That makes me almost 8 years older than you.” He says, the traces of laughter on his lips. “What are you? Fresh outta high school or what?”

You watch as he takes a drag of the cigarette, holding the smoke for a couple of seconds before letting it out in the cold air. The smell doesn’t bother you that much you realize. “I graduated two years ago.” Is your reply and he just hums, like there’s nothing he can add to that. It makes you antsy and a little annoyed. “What are you an asshole or what?”

That makes him laugh out loud. “You're funny.”

You give him a fake laugh at that as he continues to smoke, eyes fixed on you as you watch his tattooed hand bring the cigarette to his lips. It’s quite embarrassing, really, how you just met Johnny today and barely exchanged words with him, but there’s already a tingle of excitement inside of you when his eyes run through your whole body. Is almost as if he’s pondering what he should do. Doesn't help that his confidence is as hot as it makes your blood boil in an unpleasant way. 

“Well, are you just gonna stare at me while I smoke?” He asks cockily.

“You could offer me one then.” You don't even smoke, but that's the coolest thing you think of saying. 

“Ha! I don't think I should be indulging you in that.”

“Why not?” 

“Smoking is bad for you.” He says in a funny voice and you scoff again. How many times exactly is this dude trying to make you do that.

“Wow, how much more patronizing can you get?” That makes him laugh again. 

He watches you for a moment, taking another drag of his cigarette. It feels like he's analyzing you, thinking of what else to say to get under your skin and a part of you hopes it's a good one. What is it about bantering that just made a thrill go through your body? Maybe it was the fact that nothing that came easy was as good as the things that took a little pushing.

“I think you came outside for something but here you are still watching me.” Is what he decides on saying, again with the teasing voice but now cuter as if to annoy you further. It only makes you smirk.

“We could be doing something else.” You suggest, maybe too confident and he lets out a raspy incredulous  laugh as if he can’t believe your nerve.

“You really are something else.” He finishes the cigarette then, throwing it in the ground and stepping on it with his black vans.

Your breath hitches when he moves even closer to you, a tiny smirk on his lips. You can smell the tobacco on him and you don’t know if you are dizzy from the drinks you had or from the proximity. Your hands go to his shoulders when he stands in front of you and it makes him laugh. “You want me to kiss you?” It’s embarrassing how your head moves quickly with a nod, a small smile on your lips. So embarrassing that your face gets warm and you can do nothing but stare at him. “But you look so cute, angel. I don’t think your little virgin ass could handle it.”

He’s so close that you could just do it yourself. The hand he has on one of your thighs, drawing little circles, makes you shiver and you probably look pathetic right now, eyes pleading as he hovers over you. “I’m not a virgin.” You bite back and he has the nerve to laugh again, that’s all he seems to do.

“Aren’t you grown up, huh? Still, girls like you always get too attached.” He slaps your thigh softly and then moves away from you. You wish you could punch the perfect smile on his face, want to scream in frustration at his teasing, You’re not underage, not an innocent little thing so you don’t understand why he’s denying you. Why he’s playing this stupid game of going back and forth for nothing. “You should go for someone closer to your age. I’m sure Mark, or I don't know... Jaehyun would die to get into your panties.”

Then he opens the door and gestures for you to get inside the club again.

✱

If you look at the bigger picture there is the thing you should have done and the thing you do. The thing you should’ve done is forget about it and continue to live your life peacefully. And you do that for two weeks in total. But after those two weeks you get bored, and in your defense you’re stubborn, like a challenge maybe a bit too much. So you find yourself at the club again, alone this time and with a shot of tequila running through your system.

After the band performs you move quickly, congratulating the boys like you've actually known them for more than a day and replying casually when they ask about Doyoung. Then you are eyeing Johnny for a good minute, him smiling at you knowingly, before you’re moving to chat with Mark.

And Mark, bless his soul, he’s so sweet it could make your teeth rot. You are not the most experienced at his, but you know by now what a guy looks like when he's flirting and Mark goes all out with it in his own shy manners that make you want to have fun with him. He calls you pretty, blushes when you call him handsome, asks if you want to get high and tells you about the band in an excited way. He's fun, someone that you would genuinely want to befriend and share a joint with, and in the back of your drunk mind you have half a mind to feel guilty about what you are doing. 

But here’s probably a reason why you do all of it, a very stupid one, but still a reason. Why you chose one of the shortest skirts you own to come tonight, why you laugh and touch Mark more than necessary when he tells you an unfunny joke. Why you grab Mark’s hand and drag him to the dance floor with him weakly protesting and blushing at your forwardness. 

You hate the song that’s playing, something that plays all the time on the radio, but still you let Mark move his hands to your hips as you dance, almost grinding against him. Johnny is watching you, standing next to the bar with a glass of something in his hand, and it makes your insides tingle, like you achieved something. You’re not sure what you expected from this,. for him to be jealous or just to get his attention, but the way he’s looking at you dance while he downs his drink is enough for you.

You don’t expect Mark to kiss you but you still let him. His hands move to the back of your neck as he eyes you with care, pupils blown for the alcohol that you can taste on him when he kisses you. His lips are soft as they move against yours and not for the first time tonight you feel guilty for using him like this, because it feels nice enough to have your head cloudy.  

But it's short lived and when the kiss ends you can see Johnny smirking as you look behind Mark, his eyes still on yours as he raises one eyebrow when you look at him.

You feel bad when Mark asks if you would like to go spend the night at his house, voice low and fingers brushing at your hair. So you lie, tell him that you are not feeling very well and that you should probably head home. Guilty takes over you again when he tells you to text him when you arrive home safely.

✱

“Well, look who it is.” Is what Johnny says the moment you step outside the bar. He has a cigarette between his lips this time too and a t-shirt on from a band you never heard of. “Left poor Mark hanging?”

“I told him I was going home.” You say, letting your back touch the wall. You feel tired and your mind spins a little when you close your eyes.

“Still, I’m glad you followed my advice,” he flicks the cigarette somewhere in the dark. “And went for someone your age.”

“Sure, let's put it like that.” Is your reply and it’s embarrassing how you are here right now instead of with a boy that actually gave you indications he wanted you.

“Well, then why are you out here and not with him? Trying to steal my high again?” He sounds bored almost, cocking an eyebrow at you in what seems like a challenge.

“Oh my god, are you really this annoying or is it an act?

“It's fun making you pissed off.” He laughs, deep and genuine and you hate it. You don’t understand why, after all the things he has said and done, you still want it. “And still here you are with me, in the back of this club for the second time.”

You scoff. “You’re an asshole.” You should’ve left already. You move to get your phone on your purse and order an uber so you can leave and never have to look at Johnny again.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He says laughing again, his eyes not leaving you. “Never been called an asshole and annoying at the same time, it’s very considerate of you.”

You don’t reply, just roll your eyes and wait for the uber to arrive in silence. The cold makes you shiver and you curse yourself for even getting out of the house today.

When the uber arrives you get in without a word and you promise yourself you’ll never talk to Seo Johnny ever again.

✱

Obviously, you have never been good at making coherent decisions, making the right choices. You had a thing for danger and things that seemed out of your reach, a challenge. That’s why you do what you do when Saturday night comes.

While you put on your skirt you think of the time you decide to smoke a blunt inside of your room thinking your mother wouldn’t be able to smell it later. It felt dangerous and stupid but it sent a thrill in your stomach that felt good. 

That same thrill pumped inside your veins as you walked inside the bar for the third time in the span of two months.

It's not a friday, so the band isn't playing you know that for sure. But still, you feel your eyes search for him as you stop by the bar and like a magnet you find exactly what you are looking for. Seo Johnny stands there, in all black and chains on his hips as he talks to Taeil while the music plays loudly. The red lights swing around the bar and there’s so many people dancing that you get overwhelmed, wanting to escape because you shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be chasing for someone that clearly didn’t want you.

The shot you take is bitter against your tongue and your dress keeps riding up in an unpleasant way. The girl sitting next to you looks as distressed as you are and you decide to observe her to clear your mind. She’s drinking something red that looks sweet and matches her lip while checking her phone every 2 minutes. You wonder if a boy stood her up, thinks that she should just tell him to fuck off and go home.

It gets boring after a while and you take another shot. The song has changed three times already and you turn to look at the dance floor. The magnet pulls again and your eyes fall on Johnny, except this time he’s looking right at you and you can feel your body on fire. His eyes are low, like he’s high off something and you wish you were too.

It’s automatic, almost. He raises one eyebrow at you and then starts moving toward one of the more secluded areas of the bar. So you follow, like your body is not your own and you’re blinded by the meaning of it all. You pass the dancing bodies, a slight buzz in your head from the shots and the loud music and the lights. You wonder if you’ll finally get what you want.

When you finally reach him his back is against a wall and he looks at you lazily, a tiny smile on his lips. The music is not as loud here but somehow the red light is stronger. “Found your way into the rabbit hole again, pretty girl?” He asks and you’re once again between liking the pet name and wanting to punch his face.

“I was busy the last few weeks.” It’s not really a lie, you were busy trying to convince yourself you didn’t want to come here and find him. You stand a few steps away from him, not wanting to give him the luxury yet. 

He just hums and signals for you to come closer. You shouldn’t, nothing good will come out of it but the way he smells when you get as close as possible is intoxicating, causing your mind to twirl even more. His hand moves to put a strand of your hair behind your ear in a manner that is too  sweet. “You’re so lovely.” He says, voice as low as his eyes and you feel like your whole body is melting. “Tell me, baby, did you come here tonight to see me?”

You shake your head. you won’t give him what he wants, not so quick at least. Trying to pay back in the same coin he gave you. It’s stupid and silly, something inside of you says that this is just proving his point. That you are too immature for him. “No, I came to have a good time.” Is your reply.

His laugh still pisses you off. “Come on. You’re really gonna lie to me?” The song changes and someone passes the both of you on the way to the bathroom. You feel self conscious for a second, like you got caught doing something you shouldn’t. “But you know, I have to admit that I have been waiting for you to show up again.”

You don’t understand why he’s acting like this. Like he hasn’t denied you just weeks ago. He looks at you with his dark eyes and as his hand runs lazily on your thigh you realize even in your drunk state. Seo Johnny is a demon. A demon messing with your head and you’re letting him. “Shut up.” Your voice is weak, barely convincing.

His smile is perfect, you notice and it shouldn’t be from how much he smokes. He smells like some expensive cologne and cigarettes, making your mind clouded and he looks like a boy who would ruin your life. A boy who you would let ruin it. “Now tell me this, baby, and don’t lie this time.” Honey melts on your ears. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Yes, is what your lungs want to scream. You want it so bad, want to taste him and to make him feel as ruined as you do. Your head moves on its own accord.

“Come on, use your words, ___.” He says teasingly and you lose your patience. You press your lips against his a bit too forcefully, the thrill of confidence running through your veins frenetically. As if he predicted what you were going to do he kisses you back just as forcefully, his hand gripping at your neck, not letting you have any more control.

It’s good. So good your mind spins and you think you might pass out. The wait and anticipation making it all better. He drags his teeth against your bottom lip, biting softly before he’s dipping his tongue inside your mouth and letting it move against yours.

Your mind starts to wonder what changed, why he finally gave in but you’re interrupted when his free hand moves underneath your short skit, moving to press against your damp panties and you can’t help but moan a little. You’re shaking against him, you are sure, and the way he smirks against the kiss only aggravates it.

He breaks the kiss then, eyes staring at you as he swipes his thumb on your lips. You must look a mess. “It’s adorable how desperate you act for me, baby.” His voice is husky. “Makes me want to take you to that bathroom and fuck you.”

He smiles at the way you whimper. “Then do it.” You are good at putting on a brave face.

“Would you like that, huh? Want me to fuck you nice and good in the bathroom like a dirty girl?”

It’s embarrassing, really. How you dumbly nod and almost go as far as saying please. How he has such an effect on you, that you just let him take you to the bathroom. Him immediately presses you against the wall after closing the door.

Something shifts and he kisses you so softly, with no rush and you melt against him. The sound of the music is muted, only the beat vibrating on your body and you let your mind fall numb. It feels like something you shouldn’t be doing but so right and perfect at the same time.

You feel his hands everywhere, on your neck then down your waist and gripping tightly on your ass, your front  pressing closer to his. And he's so tall he practically hovers over you, making your mind wander with thoughts of what he could be doing. It isn’t until he hikes your skirt up and dips a hand inside your panties that you are moaning. The mere touch of his finger on your clit sets your body on fire and you’re gripping at his shoulders. “You’re so cute, baby.” He coos “All wet for me. Has anyone else ever made you this wet before?”

“No…” You sigh as he massages your clit, lips pressing on your collarbone and you can feel the smile on his lips against it. You’re so on edge that the moment he presses a long finger inside of you, with some difficulty due to the angle, you feel ready to come. 

He hums pleased and moves to kiss you again, this time more desperate and messy. You grip tight at his hair, earning a moan from him against your mouth. Someone knocks on the door and yells something but you don’t care, all your mind can do is chant Johnny’s name over and over like you’re intoxicated with him.

Your experience at this runs short and he can probably tell with the way he looks a little gone when he inserts another finger inside and your walls clench as pleasure washes over your body. It's a tight fit and realizing that he seems to spur him in trying harder to get you ready. “I don't think you are going to be able to take me, baby.”

He punctuates the words by pressing his fingers deeper, fucking you with them so nicely that the moment he adds his thumb to your clit you’re coming with a deep whine that makes him chuckle.

Then he removes his fingers, following with the fumbling around to get his pants down with the chains clanking around. When he finally enters you it’s pure bliss, with a little resistance from you from how big he is but despite it with a little try he manages to bottom out. He fucks you deep and slow and whispers the most filth and lovely words. The only thing you can do is grip his shoulders and moan like you’re losing your mind because he hits so deep inside that you have to bite your lips to ground yourself from coming too fast. 

“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” He says against your ear as he pounds into you. He sounds raspy and breathless “Taking me so well, bet no one will ever fuck you this good.”

It’s cocky and makes you feel dirty but you still nod, agreeing with every word he says. “Yes, Johnny, please, please.” You cry out pathetically. “I’m so close.”

You want to fall apart, to reach heaven in his arms and he takes you there, fucking you so good that your back hits the wall repeatedly, his grip on your thighs so hard you’re sure it’ll leave a bruise. It’s raw and nothing like you imagined your second time having sex would be and for a moment you remember Johnny’s words about how girls like you always got attached so easily. How could you not get attached to this? To the way he brings you to your orgasm praising you in the dirtiest way possible. All you see is white and your mind goes blank, his name falling out of your mouth.

After he comes too, discarding the condom and pressing a kiss too sweet to the corner of your mouth, he guides you outside of the party and asks if you’d like an uber to take you home. Your tired mind agrees, the tiniest bit of disappointment that he won’t take you to his house there.

✱

He didn’t give you his numbers, didn’t promise to call or to take you out someday. His intentions were as clear as glass but still your mind still made you think the opposite. Hope, or whatever it was took you to the club on another friday night. With another dress too short, Doyoung by your side and butterflies in your stomach. You arrive just in time for the band to perform the last song, your eyes stay on Johnny exactly like the first time you saw him up there, playing like he would die if he didn’t. The chains on his neck bounced just a little and his hands moved as fast as possible. It’s a scene you could watch forever.

A while after the song finishes you move closer to the dressing room to get to him but you wish you didn’t. He's there, with a dark haired girl in his arms and laughing at something she says. The scene moves fast and then his lips are on hers.

You blink and storm out of there. 

[jawritter]

Migraines...

Request: May I request something? I suffer of chronic migraine and every time I say it hurts to much to hang out people tell me it's only an headache, Can you write a Jensen x reader where she is in a similar situation? She has a migraine in one of their first date, she didn't say anything but J can see she isn't ejoing herself and when he found out why he bring her home to give her something for the pain and cuddle. And in the future he always stay home and cuddle her when she has migraine? Thank you!

Warnings: None really, maybe some language in there somewhere, but that’s always a warning with me lol. I’m not sorry. Sick reader warning, headache, bad headache, fluffy Jensen. I think that’s about it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Sick!Reader

Word Count: 1859

A/N: Beta’d by @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid​! Thanks again hun! Also thanks to @deanwanddamons​ who has been working on a project with me for my 1k binge read! You guys are both awesome!!

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

Even though the text message notification on your phone wasn’t loud in theory, it seemed like it was loud enough to break the sound barrier to your aching head. 

Rolling over in your sea of blankets you feel blindly for your phone in the pitch black room, regretting the moment you look at the brightly lit screen of your phone, feeling a fresh stab of pain shoot through your skull at the assaulting light change in your vision field.

When you finally got the screen dark enough for you to read the text message without screaming pain in your head you see it was a text message from Jensen, telling you that he was looking forward to dinner with you tonight when he got off work, and your heart fell in your chest. 

You had been suffering from a migraine for the past two days, and it was just getting worse, you had totally forgotten about your plans for dinner with your boyfriend tonight. Hell you didn’t even know what day it was until he texted you, you had barely left your bed.

Letting out a frustrated huff of breath you text him back, and tell him you couldn’t wait to see him. When in reality, you were racking your aching brain, trying to figure out exactly how you were going to survive this date. 

You didn’t want to cancel your date with him because of your migraine. It wasn’t like it was something you hadn’t had to suffer through before, having had them from a very young age, and as everyone loved to tell you, ‘It’s just a headache’, so you have had to suffer through dates, birthdays, work, and just about anything you could imagine before. 

Also it had been a week since you’d seen Jensen, the two of you hadn’t been dating long, and you didn’t want to disappoint him. In fact this was your first ‘official’ date.

If there was one person you didn’t want to let down because of a ‘stupid headache’ it was him. 

So you spent the rest of the day trying medication, home remedies from essential oils, to excessive caffeine intake to get this migraine to let up at least a little bit, in order to fool your boyfriend. 

By the time you showered, dressed, and did your makeup, you were pretty sure the drummer for Disturbed was trapped inside your skull, and was playing ‘Down With The Sickness’ on repeat. 

Nothing you had tried worked, not even a little bit, this was probably the most relentless migraine you had ever experienced, just because you so desperately needed it to go away, it chose to hang on.

You didn’t have time to wallow long in your self pity before the doorbell sounded, and you opened the door, revealing Jensen. 

“Hey baby girl, I missed you.” Jensen said, coming through the door, and grabbing you up into a hug. The swift movement that would have normally made you laugh, made you scrunch up your nose, and close your eyes for a second. Jensen was quick to pick up the change in your normal behavior as well. Not missing a thing. The boy was observant if he was nothing else, and that was going to make this just as hard to hide the fact that you weren’t feeling the best. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked you, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked into your eyes, searching you as if he could read your reaction before you answered him. 

“Nothing’s wrong, just surprised me that’s all.” you lied smoothly, hoping he’d buy it.

“Oh, sorry, I was just really excited to see you.” he said, grabbing you around the waist, and pulling you closer to him, slower this time, brushing his lips over yours in a sweet kiss. 

“S’okay, I really missed your face too,” you tell him jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood.

“Well, let’s get going before they cancel our reservation,” he said, grabbing your jacket, and helping you to slip it on your shoulders. "When we’re done if you're feeling up to it, I thought about taking you down to the pier. It’s beautiful out there at night, one of my favorite places actually.”

You smiled sweetly at him before giving him a peck on his cheek as he opened the car door for you. You couldn’t disappoint him in this, he’d put so much thought into it, and people all over the world would consider you damn lucky to have a date night with Jensen Ackles, so you soldiered through it, determined to not let it show that your skull was pounding.

The ride to the restaurant was a short one mercifully, and they took you both to the back fairly quickly, into the VIP part of the restaurant, one of the perks of being on a date with Jensen. 

The strong smell of the Italian food assaulted your senses as soon as you made your way into the room, and you had to swallow down the wave of nausea that assaulted you. 

Two very annoying things that made migraines more than just a headache, the sensitivity to light, and smell were horrible. 

You tried your best to keep up with the conversation, Jensen talked to you about his day on set, future projects, asking you questions about yourself in an attempt to get to know you better. You thought you were keeping up pretty good with the conversation. Until Jensen finally put his fork down, and pushed his plate away from him, his astonishing green eyes searching yours, and his fingers reaching up nervously to scratch at his beard.

“Y/N… Am I doing something wrong?” Jensen asks, and your heart hit your feet like a lead balloon. 

“No Jay, everything is perfect! Why would you think you were doing something wrong?” you asked in earnest, and if you wouldn’t have had a headache, you would have been having a great time. 

Jensen picked a perfect restaurant, you loved the food, what little bit you were able to eat of it, and he was being the perfect gentleman. He’d obviously put a lot of thought into this date tonight, and you felt like you had already let him down, or he wouldn’t have even had to ask you that question. 

“Well, it’s just that you’ve hardly touched your food at all, you refused the wine when they offered it to you, and you're barely talking to me at all, I feel like I’m carrying the conversation here. I just, you know, wanted you to have a good time.”

You mentally high fived yourself in the face as he looked down at his lap defeated, you never meant to hurt his feelings, you thought you were keeping up the conversation pretty well, he was obviously paying more attention than you gave him credit for, and you were a horrible actor. 

Reaching across the table you grab his hand in your own, and his eyes look up to meet yours as he chews nervously at his lower lip, awaiting your rejection. 

“Jay, that’s not it, I’m having a good time, It’s just, I wasn’t very honest with you earlier. You see I have these migraines, and I’ve been dealing with this one for the past two days, I thought I could soldier through it without you noticing, but apparently there’s a reason why I’m not an actor. I love spending time with you Jensen, and I didn’t want to let you down.”

Jensen reached across the table with his free hand, your hands in his big, warm hands, his eyes softening instantly, and relief evident on his beautiful face. 

“Oh baby, you should have told me!” you looked down for a moment humiliated and embarrassed that you had officially ruined your first date with the man you’d been in love with since the words “Easy tiger” fell from those amazingly pink lips of his fifteen years ago. 

Sliding his chair around the small table in order to get closer to you, Jensen wraps his arms around you, and pulls you into his chest, the warmth of his body, and the scent of his cologne had you melting against him in a matter of seconds. 

“I’m sorry I ruined our date. I’m sure you never want to go out with me again.” You tell him shyly, enjoying the close contact, convinced it was the last you’d ever get from him.

“Sweetheart, of course I want to see you again, hell you really think you're getting rid of me tonight?” he asked as he motioned to the waiter to bring the check. “We’re getting you home, in some comfy PJ’s, and we’re gonna cuddle until you feel better, even if that takes days.”

If you hadn’t fallen in love with the man already, you would have been right there at that moment. No one had ever treated you like that just because you had a migraine, never. Usually they told you to suck it up, but his main concern seemed to be you feeling better, and getting you home. You didn’t know how the hell you got so lucky to have found this man, but you thanked whatever God out there that was listening that you did.

Once Jensen got you home, medicated, and in your comfy PJ’s he changed into some he’d still had packed in his car, and snuggled down into the bed next to you, turning the lights off in the bedroom, getting it as cold as the two of you could stand it, and enveloping you in his strong arms. Playing with your hair softly, and peppering you with little, soft kisses ever so often until you relaxed against him.

Even with a horrible migraine you fell asleep that night more content than you had ever been in your life, you could definitely get used to sleeping in this man’s arms.

The next morning came and you were greeted with a cup of coffee, and Jensen’s lips kissing your head, snuggling back down into the covers next to you. 

“Feeling better, baby girl?” he asked you, letting you settle back against him with a cup of coffee curled in your fingers. His warm body pressed tightly to yours. 

“Much better, migraine seems to be gone, or almost gone, you're a miracle worker.” you tell him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, before settling back down against him. 

“I got the magic touch.” he said, tickling your sides a little, causing you to giggle against him.

“Seriously, baby girl, next time you're not feeling well tell me, we’ll have a night in, as long as I’m with you, I don’t care how I spend it. I just want to be with you.”

“How did I get so lucky to have you, Jensen?” you asked him, looking into his piercing green eyes that you could honestly drown in. 

“Better remember it to, baby girl. Cause I’m one of a kind” 

Giving him a jab in the ribs playfully you reveil in the laugh that vibrated through him. He was right about one thing, he was definitely one of the kind. 

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[themangoyogurt]

Misguided Youth: The Air Clears

Chapter Five

“Ow! Let go!” You shouted as Kylo continued to drag you down a hallway. So focused on the fact that you were being manhandled by the brooding man, you were completely unaware of how many twists and turns he had pulled you through. How big was this fucking Willy Wonka factory of a home anyways?

“I said, let go you fucking psycho!” You cried as you shook your arm out of his grip. Somehow he had corralled you into a study, and despite your agitation and confusion, you couldn’t help the first response to spill out of your mouth.

“You actually read?”

Kylo spun around and slammed the door shut. Still facing away from you, he had one hand flat against the door, while the other laid balled up at his hip. You could tell that his chest was heaving up and down, and instinctively stepped away until the back of your thighs hit a sturdy oak desk. Looking around in silence, you took notice of the floor to ceiling bookcases filled to the brim with books and journals.

Judging by the worn through covers, it became clear that this was a functional office and you were immediately hit with a pang of guilt. Sure, Kylo might be a rockstar who ran around chasing tail while destroying public property, but that shouldn’t imply that he was stupid. There was more depth to the mysterious man, and you reluctantly admitted that you might have judged him too quickly.

But then he had to go and open his mouth and make you hate him all over again.

“Yes, of course I fucking read. I’m glad to see that Brooklyn’s finest waitress has deduction skills.”

“Excuse me? You know what, fuck you. Fuck you and your judgmental pompous attitude. Where’s my friend. I’m leaving right now.”

Kylo turned around, but stubbornly refused to meet your icy stare. Your eyes slowly narrowed into slits as you took in his expression. Was that...guilt? Stepping forward, you cautiously ventured, “Kylo. Where’s my friend?”

He ran a large palm through his locks and replied, “There wasn’t exactly a friend looking for you...per se...”

“Then why did you drag me away from Poe?”

Kylo finally met your glare with one of his own. “I was doing you a favor, you know. Poe would never actually be interested in someone like you. He’s a total player who...”

Your jaw dropped in incredulous anger. “What? You have no right to dictate who I can or cannot talk to! Who the hell do you think you are? Besides, who said that I was interested in him?”

“Fine! Go back to Poe or your friend Jim then. See if I care who you waste your time with. I hope you and Jim had fun fucking around in my house drinking up my booze.”

Without missing a beat, you threw both arms out in exasperation as you shrieked, “WHO THE FUCK IS JIM?”

Kylo’s brow furrowed as he took in your genuinely confused expression. Stepping back a little, he stuttered, “I thought...I thought you were here with a guy named Jim. Phasma...”

Throwing a palm up to your face, you tightly pinched the bridge of your nose as you hissed, “Oh my God, you are such an idiot. My friend’s name is Jyn. Ji-nuh. And I can assure you that while we have indeed been drinking up your expensive booze, I’m not dating her.”

A realization suddenly dawned on you as a coy smile slid across your features. Slowly, you began to advance towards the man - all fear and concern lost. Now standing close enough to touch, you tilted you head upwards and teasingly asked, “Why would it matter to you who I date? So what if I liked Poe? Or if I had a boyfriend name Jim? Or even if I was together with Jyn?”

Kylo turned his head to avoid your shit eating grin and muttered, “I don’t care. Get over yourself.”

“Sure, sure. Because it’s totally normally to go dragging people away from potential love interests, right?”

Shuffling forward so the tips of your toes were gently nudging his feet, you carefully swept his bangs out of his face. Moving your hand downwards, you barely grazed his cheek as your fingers rested against his chin. From this distance, you could feel his breath stutter while your nimble fingers danced down the column of his neck to rest at his sternum.

“Are you jealous, Kylo?”

Kylo reached up to grip your wrist in his palm as he pushed your hand away from his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He still couldn’t look you in the eye though, and that only made you smirk.

Tugging your wrist out of his grip, you moved to brush past the man as you sauntered towards the door. Pausing just before exiting you turned to murmur, “You’re right. I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I don’t think you do either.”

With one last gaze, you stepped out into the hallway and the door loudly shut behind you. Kylo remained rooted on the spot as he stared into the space you once occupied.

The rest of the party went by in relative ease. You caught back up with Jyn, and immediately gave her an earful about ditching you. Afterwards, you found your way to Phasma’s side, and the blonde drummer insisted on clearing the air. She had only meant innocent fun when keeping you in the dark about who she was, and hadn’t meant to offend you. There was nothing to apologize for though, and you admitted to being too quick to anger. The two of you enjoyed a shot of liquor together - promising to continue exploring your budding friendship.

By the time you ran into Kylo again, you were well and truly wasted. Stumbling out onto this balcony, you tilted your chin up to take lungfuls of the crisp autumn air. The moonlight gently cascaded against your features, creating a halo behind your profile as you closed your eyes to bask in the peace. The sound of shuffling caught your attention, and you opened your eyes just in time to catch Kylo attempting to slink back into his home undetected.

“Is the big bad rockstar suddenly shy? No mean retorts left?”

He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face you. “Mean?”

Crossing your arms in anger you seethed, “Yeah. You’re a bully.” Kylo gave a dry laugh and crossed the balcony to stand next to you. “What, are we in middle school? I have no interest in ‘bullying’ a waitress. I’m a fucking millionaire with shit to do.”

Turning to jab a finger into his chest, you spat, “See! There you go again. Do you even know that I’m in grad school? All you’ve done since we met is talk down to me, when you don’t even know the basics of who I am. You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through.”

Too drunk to care about how you looked, your jaw quivered as you continued, “Do you think I like waitressing? Do you think I enjoy wearing a fucking costume at work literally doing a song and dance just so I can get shitty tips from haughty hipsters like yourself? Some of us don’t have a support network, and I’m doing everything I can just to stay afloat in this city without losing my goddamn mind. So I’m sorry if I’ve been too busy juggling a budding career as a 50’s impersonator along with an impossible workload to not have known who the fuck you were when we first met.”

Turning on your heel with a huff, you were stopped when Kylo reached out to grab your hand. Slowly tugging you back towards him, he quietly whispered, “It’s...it’s not like that. I don’t look down on you, and I don’t care that you’re a waitress. I’m a shitty person, okay? I don’t make friends easily, and every fucking time you open you snarky mouth I’m put off my game. Everyone acts like I’m a character in a movie, and you’re the first person to treat me like I’m a real person. I guess I wasn’t ready for that.”

He let go of your hand to turn so he could lean against the balcony. Carefully stepping up to his side, you mimicked Kylo’s posture by resting your arms against the cool metal bar as well. Soft wind swept through the air, picking up strands of your hair to dance against his arm. Playfully nudging his shoulder, you asked, “So...should we start over and try and be friends then?”

Kylo laughed and turned to meet your eyes. For the first time that night, your gazes were amiable. Nodding, he gently replied, “Yeah. Friends.”

You leaned a head against his shoulder and murmured, “But I can’t promise that I’ll stop the teasing. You make it way too easy for me.” He let out an honest chuckle as he returned to staring out into the night sky.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

[artistic-writer]

King of My Heart :: CS :: Rated E

Title: King of my Heart by @artistic-writer​  Fanart by @artistic-writer​ Rating: E Summary: Emma Swan is the biggest star in the entire world, a world-class singer with a voice that had made sure she was seated at the very top.  She is the Queen of music that speaks to so many, but there is one thing in her life she is missing, and with whole albums dedicated to him, will Killian Jones finally hear her words and take up the throne beside her as the King of her heart?

Read on AO3 A/N: So, most of you will know that one of the biggest loves of my life after my husband is Taylor Swift.  Ask @shardminds​ about my incoherent babbling and fangirling when i discovered that the Reputation Tour was on Netflix. THEN ask her about this song and how I was reduced to a dribbling mess when the drummers were shirtless. You can work out the rest.  Thanks to her and @hollyethecurious​ who were willing to look it over and thanks to @csconcertseries​ for giving me the opportunity to create this little one shot <3

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Emma Swan hadn’t always been this famous, but she had dreamed of being on the big stage for as long as she could remember. There had been a time when she was a nobody, just some pretty blonde girl who happened to be good at dancing and had been so good, in fact, that she had gone to dance school. Because that is a thing. Never in a million years would she have realised that she would be standing where she was right now, with the people she was with, her life taken by a whirlwind force that had yet to spit her out of the other side.

The lights were blinding, the last show in her mega sell out stadium tour that had seen her travel all over the world, playing sell out shows to massive crowds all the way. It still baffled her sometimes, why she was so popular. All she did was sing about her life, about the ups and downs she experienced, but it seemed that her life coincided with so many others around the globe, that she had rocketed to super stardom overnight. She was more than the voice of Emma Swan; she was the voice of everyone.

Of course, without the hundreds and thousands of people who could make her life possible, she would be a nobody. She needed every single one of them. The road crew, the stage builders, the guys and girls who tuned all of her instruments, the security, the dancers, and of course, the fans. She might still be that struggling dancer, scrambling for the chance to stand behind someone has big as she was now, if it were not for that one moment that she still thinks about every second of every day.

If it were not for him.

There was a guy, of course. A guy who she had taken the time to get to know, another dancer reaching for the stars, who had become more than just competition. When he danced he was flawless, fluid and emotive, a better dancer than she could ever have been, but it had taken her a while to realise his true potential, and by the time she had, it was too late. Another dancer had taken his heart, another of their classmates who bore a striking resemblance to herself, and that was when she picked up her pen and her reason for being where she was right now was created.

Emma had always thought that albums were more than just words on a page. She never wrote a song that she didn’t mean or identify with on a personal level. How was she expected to sell albums with lies? So many other artists did that already, singing about what they thought people wanted to feel instead of what they had experienced themselves, and that’s what set Emma apart. She was raw and real and she had but one man to thank for that.

Killian Jones was single again now, she’d heard that much through the gossip and chattering of her crew. It had ignited the spark in her heart, relit the flame of longing that she feared had been extinguished so long ago. She felt like she was singing her lyrics with a renewed vigour, a new purpose for the glitz and glamour of her shows. She had written these songs about him, but now, when she sang them, barely audible over the sound of the crowd going wild, all she wanted was for him to hear her. To know.

She had tried to tell him once, twice, oh so many times, but for a professional singer, she couldn’t form a sentence for shit. He did that to her. The man who had heard her sing, told her how beautiful her voice was and had encouraged her to pursue singing rather than dancing, rendered her absolutely speechless. She could sing to him all day long, but unless he heard her, really heard her, they were just words, and Emma longed for so much more.

The final song of her show was a big one, not just because it would be the final time she sang on stage with this particular group of people and danced this particular choreographed set of moves with them, but because it would be the last time she could try and make him see. This was the song, the one that she had penned with such enthusiastic yearning, the one that, despite most of this album being about him, she really wanted him to hear her when she sang it. It helped that towards the end she had insisted on showcasing his talent as not only a dancer but also as a drummer.

Nothing got her quite so hot as the way Killian Jones simultaneously danced and played the huge drum he had pushed onto stage half way through the song. There were eight in total, but she had made sure that his was closest to her. She wanted to feel every beat vibrate right through her as he pounded the massive drum skin. The five minute outro to the song - his song - was nothing short of spectacular, the energy the sound exuded as it echoed around the acoustically perfect stadium something that left her so aroused, she was suddenly heady on adrenaline and the sound of the drums that echoed in time with her heart.

It didn’t help that, for reasons, she had decided that at this particular point in the show, the drummers would be barely clothed from the waist up, shirtless except for thin scraps of cloth that were tied around their wrists and matched the tassels on the muted sticks used to beat the drum surface. It was part of the flair, and for a second Emma was thankful she didn’t have any more words to sing because, between twirls and struts, she was too busy watching a bead of sweat run down through Killian’s chest hair to remember any.

The sound of the crowd became nothing but a high pitched buzz, like the sound you hear when silence overtakes you, her eyes fixated on him as he danced. Muscles bulged and flexed, sweat flicking from the ends of his pitch black hair as he swung his head from side to side, as lost in the rhythm of drumming as she often was in his eyes. His ocean blues that so often swept her out to her death and so crept up in all of her songs. It was a wonder he hadn’t realised that her career had been based on her admiration for him, the man who had seen so much potential in her in the first place.

He was as lost as she was, flawlessly playing his part, as the king and keeper of her heart. Whether he knew it or not, Killian Jones would always hold her heart right next to his, so close that she could swear that she could see two heartbeats thumping right under the skin of his chest when he spun around, twirled his sticks through the air, effortlessly catching them and raising them above his head to a crowd who went wild at the display. The song ended then, a single, reverberating drum beat accompanying silence, after which the crowd went wild.

Emma watched in the darkness, the tantalizing sheen of sweat over his body glinting off of phone flashes as the stadium lit up. She was panting hard, the whole set twice as long as any other in the show, and her skin prickled with heat from exertion and want. And then she felt arms wrap around her, another of the dancers, and then one of her backing vocalists, celebratory embraces that were welcomed by not what she wanted. Not from who she wanted.

It wasn’t until it was all said and done, and the cast had filtered from the stage and lights, that she saw him, just as perfect off stage as he was on. Her world turned to slow motion, the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed some refreshing ice cold water hypnotic, her eyes drawn to a droplet that spilled from his mouth as he struggled for breath between each gulp. Then he turned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and looked right at her, the blue of his eyes that she so often waxed about almost gone behind his blown pupils, dilated and so erotically dark as they bore into her.

“You were bloody brilliant, love!” He yelled, the sound from the crowd still so overpowering, even in the wings. “Brilliant as always!”

In three bare footed steps he was on her, hoisting her into his arms and wrapping her up against his bare chest with a crushing grip that she didn’t mind at all. He spun them around and Emma wasn’t sure she wanted him to ever stop, the flashing of strobe lights behind her closed eyelids adding to the euphoria of his scent as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and inhaled him. Again, he had rendered her speechless, and Emma couldn’t do anything but hold on, her fingers twisted in the soaking wet hair at the base of his skull as he whirled her around a few more times before setting her back down onto her high-heeled feet.

They were the same height like this, him barefoot and her with black leather boots laced up to her knees, and where she expected him to take a step back and create the distance between them that had created a rift before, he didn’t, standing fast and resting his hands on her hips. She gulped when his fingertips teased the edge of the leotard she was wearing, her heaving breasts drawing his eye when she gasped and some of the red sequins rustled against each other and the sound of the crowd disappeared around them.

They hadn’t been like this, this close and drowned in tension, since she had become world famous. There had been no time for them and she regretted it every day. He was more than her friend, he was the man she dreamed about, the man who had seen potential where she only saw words on a page of a dog-eared notepad that accompanied her guitar when she was feeling down. Killian Jones was the man she wanted to share it all with, the man she would come home to after months overseas, the man who would miss her like she missed him when they were apart.

Her hand was on his chest before she had time to stop it, stroking through the silky hairs there that were still damp from his routine, right above his heart that still beat in time with the drums that has since stopped. His hand found her face in response, his knuckles brushing over her cheek, hand shaking a little and making her mouth go dry. They had danced like this before, on stage but never in private, and a sudden warmth overtook her as Killian let his fingertip drag down the side of her neck, keeping eye contact the whole time, as if to torture her more when he skimmed over the swell of a breast.

“Stop.” The word left her mouth before she could stop it, the pounding of blood in her temples berating her as her blood screamed out for him. For a second he looked hurt, swallowing hard and taking a step back so that there was a palpable space between their bodies that left hers cold and alone, something she never thought she would feel around him. “Not here,” Emma whispered assuringly, her ruby coated lips ticking up into a sly sideways smile that had him arching a brow at her.

Killian stepped forward again, pressing his body into hers and making sure she could feel his erection through the thin, silky trousers of his outfit. Emma flushed hot and her brain short circuited, eyes blurring and caught between wondering how they would escape the stage and if they would get caught if they didn’t. He was too much, hands acting innocent as they stroked over the curve of her shoulder, friendly and casual to observers, but a painfully restrained attempt to touch her anywhere he could.

“Where?” He almost begged, his voice laced with darkness and sexual intent that had her biting her bottom lip in response, something that caused him to paradoxically whimper uncontrollably. “Gods, I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

Once again, he had rendered her speechless, taking the words from the back of her throat like he always had with his barely there touches and thick, British accent that somehow had grown impossibly sexier with his arousal. Emma’s resolve snapped, hair prickling on the back of her neck with anticipation as she grabbed his hand in hers and tugged, hard, pulling him along the back of the stage and behind a huge piece of equipment that she neither noticed or cared to know about at that exact second. All that mattered was that it was tall enough to hide them, the space between it at the wall making sure that they were pressed together as close as can be for when, finally, his lips were on hers and every single lyric she had ever sung about him raced through her mind.

Killian wasted no time, knowing that what they would have would probably be brief, pinning her against the wall in the darkness and rolling his hips into hers, making her feel all of him, gobbling up her moans with his ardent and impassioned kisses. He trapped her in his grasp with his weight, and Emma needed to feel more, her hands caressing the expanse of his naked back, her nails raking over the skin there in an attempt to draw out more of his hunger, her efforts more than rewarded when he growled low in his throat and slipped a hand between her thighs.

“That last song is about you,” Emma breathed.

“I know,” Killian growled in between harsh, heartfelt kisses, smirking as he trailed them along her jawline.

“Fuck, half of my songs are about you,” Emma whispered with laboured breath, Killian’s kisses now assaulting her neck through his growing smile.

“I know,” he said arrogantly, one hand bunching the thickness of her hip whilst the other explored the apex of her thighs, searching for a way into more than just her heart. “I’ve always known.”

Emma’s hands are on his face and dragging his lips back to hers in a heartbeat, the echo of the rhythm of the drum solo pounding in her ears again, charging a new tension between them, something more sexual than ever before. There had always been a space between them, a professional barrier that neither would cross. Emma had poured her heart out in words whilst Killian had worked through his frustrations through dance, but right now, in this moment, there were no such walls to stop them from scaling the other.

Killian’s tongue skimmed over the seam of her lips, gently begging for a deeper entry as his fingers hooked into the gusset of her blood red sequined leotard and pulled the fabric aside. He frowned, met with another barrier as his fingers prodded and teased her entrance through a thin layer of sheer, diamond studded, sparkly stockings, and Emma couldn’t help herself when she bit down on his bottom lip this time, making him rut against her thigh to relieve some of the pressure building in his cock.

“These are…” Killian’s words trailed off as another irritated growl rumbled from his chest, vibrating through her lips as she sucked on the bite mark left by her own frustrations.

“One of a kind, hand studded to my exact measure-,” Emma began incoherently, her world spinning behind her eyes, her breathless babbling cut short by the sound of tearing fabric that she hoped no one heard.

“Such a fucking shame,” Killian lied darkly and repositioned his hand so that he could finally slip a finger into her, the extent of his pent up tensions leaving him on a satisfied sigh he breathed against the swell of her breasts as he scrapped his teeth over the flesh there and she let him, holding his face to her bosom and clawing the back of his head with her long, blood red fake nails.

After all the times she had dreamed of moments like this, hoping that one day they would become reality, there wasn’t enough of him inside of her and she whined against the shell of his pointed ear. Killian knew her too well already and paired another finger with the first, pushing them both into the wet heat between her legs in time with the pounding the blood in his ears. He curled them each time, pushing deeper on each thrust that rips into the material of her tights some more, right up until his palm was pressed against her clit and Emma was subconsciously chasing her high as she fucked his fingers.

The line was gone, so fucking gone, and the leg he’s slowly grinding his erection against became hotter than the rest of her, burning up from the way his dry humping became slightly damper thanks to the appearance of pre come seeping through the black silk fabric of his trousers. Emma knew his body was lithe, trained to bend this way and that due to his profession, but if she had any idea just how talented Killian Jones was, she would have signed him to her tours from the start. She’d always wanted to, but the line had always been too wide of a chasm to cross, except now he was finger fucking her with a slight aggression that turned her on beyond anything she thought she could ever know, and suddenly a bridge had appeared and Killian beckoned her to the other side with skillful strokes and the whimpering of a man possessed.

Sweat beaded her brow and he smirked against her cheek, lips parted as he breathed against her mouth, unable to kiss her for fear of losing sight of her. He wanted to watch her come undone as she climaxed and coated his hand with even more of herself. He wanted to imagine her body under his, to imprint the way she looked as she came on his mind, lipstick smeared by indulgent kisses and brow furrowed in pleasurable pain, whilst stretching up on his tiptoes to dry fuck her thigh. He doesn’t have to wait long before Emma is inexplicably pushing against his shoulders as she comes, hard, going rigid and overstimulation setting in, her mind fighting between the urge to push him away and the need for him to never stop reaching the best parts of her.

“Fuck,” he ground out, only just stopping himself from coming at the sight of her. He rolled his forehead against hers but was reluctant to pull his hand out of her warmth, swallowing the deepness of his voice thickly as he settled his feet back on the ground and her core muscles pulled at his fingers in detest when he withdrew them.

“Poetic,” Emma teases, brushing her thumb over the corner of his mouth.

“I’m no writer, love,” Killian admitted with another kiss, this time to the tip of her nose. “Not like you.”

“What do you mean?” Emma beams and he gave her a quizzical look. He loved the way her nose scrunches when she is being playfully naive.

“And all at once, you are the one I’ve been waiting for,” Killian muttered softly, eloquently, as if he is reciting more than just her lyrics.

“King of my heart,” Emma finished with a smile that would just not fade.

“If you’ll have me,” Killian said hopefully.

“Body and soul,” Emma whispered, the words only just leaving her lips before his were pressed to hers in final and definite acceptance of their future.

[undiscovered-horror-icon]

SlipKnot the Beginning

[All of this info was copied form the archive of this blog on Skyrock.com circa 2009-2010: User - maggot777 on SkyRock . com]

[I’m just sharing it and take no credit]

Des Moines is the capital of Iowa, the twenty-ninth of the fifty states of the USA. The city contains about 200,000 inhabitants for a little less than 200,000 km² and 500,000 reside in the suburbs. There is no Persian diversity in Des Moines, to speak in numbers 90% of people are white. The city is not known as a "dynamic" city, it is rather total boredom there! If we had to summarize what there is in Des Moines we would put: offices (especially insurance companies), factories, churches, a few shops and buildings ... ah I forgot the city hosts also the World Pork Expo. We understand why some say it's "the asshole of the United States"! "It's not just a big urban center, it's not a village either, it's just ... the area. There is absolutely nothing to do. The main activity for young people is 'is to find something to do. In Des Moines, everything is closed at 6 p.m. When you're not old enough, you can't go to a club; when you're old, you go. and you realize that it really sucks. And then it's a very conservative place, where people are not very inclined to encourage artists, whoever they are. " (James Root in Guitar Part, July 2001) "Des Moines is like a cemetery with buildings growing on it. It's a small place, with a majority of old people. It's the second highest concentration of old people in the country. Imagine what it is like. to be 15 years old in this puritanical and totalitarian environment. There is nothing else to do but to have rabies! " (Corey Taylor in Hit Parader, May 2000) However, it was during a concert in Des Moines that one of rock's greatest anecdotal moment happened. On that day of January 20, 1982, Ozzy Osbourne was playing in the city and tore off the head of the live bat! Indeed a spectator had thrown the animal, then unconscious, on the stage to provoke the singer who, thinking that it was one of his plastic bats, bit it deeply! Several rabies vaccines were injected into him. It was this event that traumatized young Joey Jordison, aged less than 7, for life. In high school he joined the Avanga group as a guitarist. But considering the terrible level of the drummer he had to place himself behind the drums. But quickly he is annoyed by the other members of the group, preferring to smoke weed and get drunk at various student parties. He then left the group and created Modifious. He recruits his neighbor Tim on vocals and Jay, Avanga's guitarist who has since become one of Joey's best friends. The trio that lacked a bass player found one in Ryan who had responded to the ad about the band. Modifious then makes Trash Metal, a style that fascinates Joey. Unfortunately some time after the formation of the group, Jay is killed one evening, in a car accident, after falling asleep at the wheel. Despite the drama, Modifious hires a new guitarist named Bruce. But the Bruce in question abandoned the group some time later and joined Atomic Opera. He is replaced by a certain Craig Jones, a friend of Ryan's. In 1992, Tim left the group, replaced by Josh Brainard on guitar and vocals. It is this formation which, in 1993, will record the first two demo cassettes of Modifious: Visceral and Mud Fuschia. By dint of playing intensively in Des Moines and its surroundings, the group began to have a good reputation. He even manages to get the first part of the group Type O Negative! Which will be their hour of glory. In 1994, the two demos are combined in a CD: Sprawl. Then the Trash Metal went out of fashion giving way to Death and Black. The group then changes style for a more radical music but that displeases Ryan who leaves the group. Following the departure of Ryan and the disaffection of the public Modifious split up in 1995. But Joey has already planned everything: he has two groups in parallel. He is the guitarist of Paul Gray, when he arrived in Des Moines in 1989, played in VeXX where he was bassist alongside guitarist-singer Josh Brainard and drummer Anders Colsefini. In 1991, VeXX changed its name (but not its line-up) and became Inveigh Catarsis until 1993. From this date the guitarist-singer Josh Brainard left the group to join Modifious. The group therefore split up, but Paul and Anders, who have become very friends, form a new group. They then formed Body Pit, a Death Metal combo composed of guitarist Mick Thompson, second guitarist DonnieSteele and Danny Spain on drums. Body Pit, starting to make itself known, even managed to compete with Modifious and Atomic Opera in the Des Moines Metal scene. Beside that, Paul finds his drummer friend Joey Jordison in the group Anal Of Blast that But let's take a step back. We are in 1992 and Paul is part of the Painface group. He plays alongside his friend Anders Colsefini on vocals, Patrick M. Neuwirth on guitar and drummer Shawn Crahan. The quartet plays dark and aggressive music and, rehearsing in Paul Gray's cellar, they manage to compose five pieces: "Slipknot", "Gently", "Idiot", "What's Wrong" and "Wise Up". They record his songs with the means at hand. These pieces gathered under the title of Basement Sessions, are in fact part of a rehearsal of the group. In 1993, Shawn Crahan joined another group: Heads on the Wall. This event will temporarily stop Painface's career. During its three years of existence, from 1993 to 1995, Heads on the Wall will perform four times in the first part of Modifious. The guitarist is a certain Kun Nong with whom he decides to set up another project called Meld. The group therefore brings together Shawn Crahan on drums, Kun Nong on guitar, Paul Gray on bass, Anders Colsefini as singer and Donnie Steele on guitar. Even though the band members start to compose a few songs, Shawn can't seem to get the band off the ground. But in 1995, while he was tinkering with Paul Gray in his garage, Shawn told him that he wanted to create THE band. Anders Colsefini as singer and Donnie Steele on guitar. Even though the band members start to compose a few songs, Shawn can't seem to get the band off the ground. But in 1995, while he was tinkering with Paul Gray in his garage, Shawn told him that he wanted to create THE band. Anders Colsefini as singer and Donnie Steele on guitar. Even though the band members start to compose a few songs, Shawn can't seem to get the band off the ground. But in 1995, while he was tinkering with Paul Gray in his garage, Shawn told him that he wanted to create THE band. Shawn and Paul recruit Anders on vocals, Donnie on guitar, and Kun on guitar to create The Pale Ones. The combo will repeat and compose, in the basement of Anders 'parents' house, as if their life depended on it. To perfect their technique, they go so far as to film their rehearsals on video! One day Shawn's mom looked at one of the tapes and said, "Anders, you look like a wolf ready to attack. Shawn you look like a gorilla. And the band in general makes me feel like I'm attending the party. what would overexcited cavemen give before going to slaughter a mammoth! " From that moment on, Shawn will be called Kong by his comrades as a nickname and in tribute to King Kong. But about two months after the formation of the group Kun Nong decides to leave the group and turns to more punk projects. Anders would later say: "Kun Nong is a phenomenal and exceptional guitarist, but certainly not a Metal guitarist." Meanwhile Paul tries to convince his friend Joey to join the group on one of his nightly visits to his workplace. Joey works at Sinclair's gas station. Paul suggests that she go see a rehearsal. He will miss two because of his job, but he will eventually come to Anders 'parents' basement to see the band play. It is low to the ceiling, narrow and covered with bits of carpet to absorb sound and avoid neighborhood problems. But unfortunately, the carpet from a pet store is impregnated with the smell of puppy urine that does not control their bladder! Despite the drawbacks, the little drummer was impressed by the three pieces performed: “Slipknot”, “Gently and“ Fur. ”Joey then said to himself that he absolutely must join this training. This is what he will do officially on September 15, 1995. The group, now composed of a drummer AND a percussionist, takes more power. Shawn then leaves his place of drummer to Joey and tinkers with a percussion kit thanks to his talents as a welder. During Joey's long working nights at Sincair's, Paul and Shawn visit him. They then talk about the future of the group. Shawn then declares that there should be a second percussionist to increase the aggressiveness of the combo. Anders then agrees to sing and do percussion. In the visual, like Joey, Shawn is a big fan of Kiss, it is also the first concert he saw during the Creatures Of The Night tour. Moreover one fine day, Shawn arrives at a masked rehearsal of a clown mask. A few day later, Joey did the same and arrived with a Kabuki mask, which is in traditional Japanese theater, on his face. He also has the good idea to add red and black paints to it for a more frightening aspect. Which is also in agreement with his two-tone hair of the same color. But the idea of ​​the masks at first was just a joke. Joey will say later: "We had trouble playing a song, we were so laughing!". To replace Kun Nong the group decides to recruit guitarist Josh Brainard to add a melodic touch to the sextet. The group now containing six musicians, composes in a very short time six new songs: "Killers Are Quiet", "Do Nothing / Bitchslap", "Confessions", "Some Feel", "Part of Me" and "Tattered And Torn" . After briefly changing their group name to Pyg System the sextet then adopts the name Slipknot ("flowing neud"). Joey is in charge of the group's logo. He first creates a beautiful tribal "S" then draws the logo of the typographical group SlipKnoT. The idea of ​​putting a capital "K" came from the fact that Joey, in these days, was a mega-fan of KoЯn. A few months later, Anders got the tribal "S" tattooed by a certain Greg "Cuddles" Welts who soon became the band's official tattoo artist. It must also be said that Greg, since 1995, is the drummer of Have Nots, a group of Hardcore Punk directed by David "DaVo" Wilkins, owner of the tattoo and piercing shop Axiom where Greg works, and in which Paul and Joey officiate. as ... guitarists! Des Moines being quite small, people quickly learn of the existence of the group without it being done in concert yet. In November 1995, the group decided to give a small concert in a local club named Crowbar (which would later be renamed The Love Shack) but under the name Meld, to keep the mystery on SlipKnoT (an idea of ​​Josh). This intimate concert was done under a greenish lighting, without a mask, but with make-up inspired by the group Kiss and fancy accessories, such as pipes crossing the various piercings of Paul's face and Anders' wolf skin. The group being convinced that their compositions were of quality, he decides to contact a professional recording studio to put the compositions on CD. They contacted THE Des Moines studio called SR Studio. It is directed by a certain Mike Lawyer who has produced artists such as Todd Rundgren, Tinny Tim or Michael Bolton. At the end of 1995, Anders and Paul meet the sound engineer of the studio: Sean McMahon. They manage to convince Sean to come see them rehearse. He then made the trip to the cellar of Anders' parents to see the sextet repeated. At the end of rehearsal, Sean remains speechless as he is so impressed by their music, he does not understand their approach or their lyrics. He then agrees to produce their first recording. Work then begins at SR Studio, where the band goes there as soon as possible to rehearse, play and record as much as possible for the album whose title they have already chosen: Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. To feel at home and make themselves comfortable, they decide to redecorate the studio in their own way: porn posters, particular lights, toys and objects testifying to the strange atmosphere that reigns there. The bizarre atmosphere moves to the parking lot where corpses drawn in chalk appear ... The tracks are recorded live with the three drummers at the same time. Shawn puts so much heart into the work that the (poor) wall next to his percussion is filled with holes made by his sticks and fists. For one track, Joey plays the drums completely naked! Throughout this recording period, Joey continues to work at Sinclair's gas station. He left rehearsals around 10 pm, picked up a CD player and a portable TV, and began his night shift. An hour or two later, Shawn usually joins him to talk about the future of the group until five in the morning. These "small working meetings" used to scare potential customers who went to seek their essence, But the finalization of the album, arrived at the mixing stage, may be longer than expected. Indeed, in February 1996, Donnie, the guitarist of the group, decided to leave the group because "the musical and spiritual orientation" did not suit him because he would in fact have had a mystical revelation and would therefore have seen God! The other members of the group, being tolerant, accepted his departure amicably. Joey then proposes to replace Donnie by Craig Jones, the last guitarist to date of Modifious. Craig then arrives in the middle of mixing the album. The atmosphere within the group is tense: the mix is ​​most chaotic! Each of the six band members give a different opinion of how one song should sound than another. Having a habit of remedying it with violence to sort out the various problems, Joey, Paul, Anders, Shawn and Josh often come to blows. In addition, in the end, the group is very disappointed with the mastering of the album and insists that Sean remake it himself. During the mixing, SlipKnoT discovers that in addition to being an excellent guitarist, Craig is a computer buff and handles samples wonderfully. However, before releasing a record, the sextet must prove itself on stage. It was finally on April 4, 1996 that SlipKnoT gave its first real concert in a Rock club in Des Moines called Safari. The rumor of the group having swelled, it is about 200 people who come to attend the concert, which is about the maximum of people that the club can contain. Taken by Joey in his own car, SlipKnoT is already dressed exceptionally. Shawn wears his Clown mask and Joey wears his kabuki mask; Paul has his piercings attached to each other again, Anders is covered in tribal paint, Josh is masked with an executioner's hood, and Craig wears a stocking on his face. While the group is piling up on the small stage, Joey starts repeating the same phrase, louder and louder and more and more mean: "I need a little Christmas in my drink!". Then the group starts with its eponymous hymn: "Slipknot". The group will then make its small effect although sharing the poster with another group endowed with a more important notoriety named Stone Sour and carried by their singer: a certain Corey Taylor. The Corey in question, being there during the band's performance, soon became a big fan of the band. The following month, SlipKnoT will be featured seven times as Safari's headliner. During their second concert at Safari; Paul chose to cover his face with a pig mask "because it was cheap", which earned him the nickname Porky. The machine being launched, at each concert the members disguised themselves in the most extravagant ways by associating the great guignolesque with the unhealthy. Indeed, at one performance, Shawn showed up wearing a Barney costume, a fat half-man, half-dinosaur figure appearing in an educational series for small children as the main hero. He would add later: "It was the hardest thing I have done in my whole life, but I managed to make Barney have it to be on crack!" The others will appear in turn dressed in the costume of a nun, a shepherdess, Santa Claus, in a worker's jumpsuit stained with paint or in a ball gown! The concerts are introduced by a sample, directed by Craig, of a mad laugh and a naive melody of an ice cream truck while Shawn uses a power saw to spark sparks above the impressed audience. Moreover, the idea of ​​samples to accentuate the creepy and unhealthy character went around the heads of all members. Thus, Craig gave up his position as second guitarist to concentrate on electronics. Paul then had the idea to call his friend Mick Thompson with whom he had already played in the group Body Pit with Anders. But after Mick's arrival on guitar, the group being now seven, Anders 'parents' cellar became too small and Craig was forced to put his equipment in the laundry room! But it would have taken a lot more to discourage SlipKnoT ... the idea of ​​samples to accentuate the creepy and unhealthy character circled all of the members. Thus, Craig gave up his position as second guitarist to concentrate on electronics. Paul then had the idea to call his friend Mick Thompson with whom he had already played in the group Body Pit with Anders. But after Mick's arrival on guitar, the group being now seven, Anders 'parents' cellar became too small and Craig was forced to put his equipment in the laundry room! But it would have taken a lot more to discourage SlipKnoT ... the idea of ​​samples to accentuate the creepy and unhealthy character circled all of the members. Thus, Craig gave up his position as second guitarist to concentrate on electronics. Paul then had the idea to call his friend Mick Thompson with whom he had already played in the group Body Pit with Anders. But after Mick's arrival on guitar, the group being now seven, Anders 'parents' cellar became too small and Craig was forced to put his equipment in the laundry room! But it would have taken a lot more to discourage SlipKnoT ... call his buddy Mick Thompson with whom he had already played in the group Body Pit with Anders. But after Mick's arrival on guitar, the group being now seven, Anders 'parents' cellar became too small and Craig was forced to put his equipment in the laundry room! But it would have taken a lot more to discourage SlipKnoT ... call his buddy Mick Thompson with whom he had already played in the group Body Pit with Anders. But after Mick's arrival on guitar, the group being now seven, Anders 'parents' cellar became too small and Craig was forced to put his equipment in the laundry room! But it would have taken a lot more to discourage SlipKnoT ... It was finally on October 31, 1996 that the group gave birth to its first record: Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. The album, printed in 1000 copies, will have cost a total of 15,000 dollars, between recording, mixing, mastering and pressing. A large part of the sum was paid by Shawn, which indebted him heavily. To celebrate the release of the CD, SlipKnoT organized a big party bringing together no less than 400 people obviously all masked! This Halloween party will mark, according to the group, a turning point in the history of Safari. It is indeed from this event that the Metal public began to frequent the club regularly. The picture of the album cover, with its glaucous atmosphere, in fact shows Joey masked and crouched in a metal cage bristling with spikes and including the mechanism of a large circular saw. This instrument of torture was obviously built by Mr. Crahan, like a work of art which he delicately titled Patiently Awaiting Jigsaw Flesh ("Flesh patiently waiting for the jigsaw"). The title of the album refers to the most basic cycle of life: to mate ("Mate"), to feed ("Feed"), to kill ("Kill") and to start again ("Repeat") this infinite cycle. . These nine tracks already carry the basics of today's SlipKnoT. In the notes of the libretto, the group dedicates the album to a certain Joey. He is not' This is of course not drummer Joey Jordison but Joey Plumley, Franck Plumley's brother being a close friend of the band. This Joey accidentally died while handling a gun while the band was recording the album. On the internal photo of the CD, we also see two people close to the group: Greg Welts and DaVo. Finally the booklet includes the name of Corn Wallace. It's actually the name Joey and Anders coined after the drummer drew a childish monster with huge claws and wacky hair. They then began to use this name to sign, one these drawings and the other these texts. while the band was recording the album. On the internal photo of the CD, we also see two people close to the band: Greg Welts and DaVo. Finally the booklet includes the name of Corn Wallace. This is actually the name Joey and Anders coined after the drummer drew a childish monster with huge claws and wacky hair. They then began to use this name to sign, one these drawings and the other these texts. while the band was recording the album. On the internal photo of the CD, we also see two people close to the group: Greg Welts and DaVo. Finally the booklet includes the name of Corn Wallace. It's actually the name Joey and Anders coined after the drummer drew a childish monster with huge claws and wacky hair. They then began to use this name to sign, one these drawings and the other these texts. Most copies of Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. are sent to fanzines and radio stations that can promote them. But it was on a local radio station in Iowa, KKDM 107.5, that a certain Sophia Jones received the CD and, although not an outstanding Metal specialist, particularly enjoyed the album. She then begins to make a rave review of the album, which then allows SlipKnoT to participate in the Battle of Bands, a competition organized every Wednesday by KKDM at the Safari, and which opposes groups of Des Moines to make themselves better known or at best get noticed by a label. In his first competition, SlipKnoT faces Stone Sour and wins which allows Corey Taylor to think he would really like to sing in this band! During his subsequent participations, SlipKnoT then begins to become a very busy occupation for each of the members of the group, including Joey and Paul who also have to perform within the Have Nots. Especially since Joey, who does not drink, does not support very well the alcoholism of his comrades including Paul! It is besides after a particularly catastrophic performance in October 1996 that Joey threatens to tackle the group to concentrate only on SlipKnoT. It is therefore from this moment that the members of the group will agree not to drink before a concert. Meanwhile, SlipKnoT is starting to gain momentum but no label wants them! It was then that the group asked Sophia Jones to become their manager. She hesitates but accepts because she feels a lot of talent in them. She even declared after a few months: "I see SlipKnoT doing Ozzfest, selling a million albums, making the cover of Rolling Stones and starting her own label."

[stellalux-universe]

Starry Eyes

It's rare that Tommy and Nikki get the whole apartment to themselves, no Vince, no parties, no typical rockstar shit. Just them and Nikki plans to take full advantage of that all night long.

I'm terrible at summaries guys, seriously.

~

This is dedicated to the lovely @the--blackdahlia, who may have mentioned something about wanting a fic where Nikki just took his time taking Tommy apart all night so long ago that she probably doesn't even remember mentioning it ~I'm sorry, it takes me forever to write anything!~

Anyway, I decided to make this a follow up to Piece of Your Action so this is set in that same universe but you don't have to read one to understand the other.

Also, I have never written slow tender sex and let me just say that it is hard as hell to write and I'm still not sure that I like how it turned out but it was good practice. Keep in mind, this NSFW af people.

Also, as usual, editing? What editing?

Hope you enjoy!

~

Nikki knows that people are constantly surprised by his and Tommy’s relationship.

Not the fact that they’re together, no. He’s pretty sure the entire glam metal scene sighed a collective sigh of relief that reverberated through the entire music business when they finally stopped pining and just admitted that they were idiots who definitely liked each other as way more than bandmates and friends. Two years of them being longing, annoying, frustrated morons was definitely more than enough.

No, no one was shocked when they became a couple, anyone with eyes could see their feelings for each other plain as day even if they couldn’t themselves. But people were surprised by what kind of couple they were.

Nikki gets it. They were the Terror Twins, still are. They’re wild, chaotic, they drink too much, they definitely probably do too much coke when they party, they destroy property, and get into bar fights nearly every week. Thing was, that used to be all Nikki could get. That used to be his way to be close to Tommy so that’s all there was. When Tommy had wrapped his arms around Nikki’s neck that one night six months ago, tipsy off of too much whiskey and kissed him, it had changed everything.

Nikki had him now. Tommy was his just as much as he completely belonged to Tommy, and Nikki was going to cherish every fucking moment they had. He couldn’t help but wrap Tommy in his arms whenever he could, couldn’t stop himself from pulling the drummer into his lap and pressing kisses along his shoulders, calling the younger man his baby and angel and princess. He can see the expression on people’s faces, the look of shock over just how fucking soft he gets for Tommy.

He really couldn’t give a fuck about what they think.

Tommy warms him in a way that Nikki had only ever read about in books or heard about from shitty, unrealistic movies. Every time he smiles, or pushes his way into Nikki’s arms, the bassist feels one of the many deep, dark wounds inside of him close up and heal, his drummer’s love a balm for his beaten, battered soul.

Right now was the perfect example.

It was just them tonight, a rarity this early in the evening but for once, they hadn’t felt like going out after rehearsal. Vince had taken off nearly as soon as they had wrapped up in the studio, nothing but a wave and a yelled out ‘no fucking on the couch’ as he left and Mick had been feeling tired and a bit sore so he had gone to his own place to pass out and hopefully regain some energy.

After they had gotten home they had toyed briefly with maybe going out but it was winter in Los Angeles and the minute that the first pitter-patters of rain started beating down on their windows, Nikki knew they weren’t going anywhere.

That’s how he ended up here, on his back on their beat up old couch with Tommy curled up against him, head resting on his chest under a threadbare old blanket and watching some b-flick horror movie marathon on the small television that Vince had conned from an ex-girlfriend.

He hears and feels Tommy giggle when one of the characters in the movie gets cornered by the monster after running into the basement, the sound moving through Nikki and painting a smile on his face that he couldn’t have wiped off if he tried.

“His face, dude, he’s so surprised! Like, what did he expect when he ran into the fucking basement in the dark with a monster on the loose?” Tommy is laughing into his chest, fingertips of one hand absentmindedly playing with a lock of Nikki’s hair.

“Fucking moron.” Nikki agrees with a snicker of his own as he refocuses on the movie and not the man in his arms. It lasts all of a minute before his eyes are moving back to the mess of dyed black waves that is Tommy’s hair in front of him and his arms tighten around the drummer’s slender waist.

Tommy hums contently as Nikki presses his face to the top of his head to bury his nose in his curls, “You’re not even watching baby, I thought you wanted to see this.”

“I am watching.” Nikki argues without moving from his position. Tommy’s hair smells like coconut from the shower he took when they got home, more of an attempt to get warm than to get clean.

Tommy snorts in disbelief even as he nuzzles into Nikki’s chest. He brings one hand up to point at the tv and asks, “Then what’s the name of that character?”

Nikki doesn’t even look at the television, “Sandra.”

Tommy’s body shakes in laughter and it makes Nikki’s lips curl in a smile again, pride settling in his chest that he had made Tommy laugh like that, “Yeah Nik, HIS name is Sandra.”

Nikki laughs too before they quiet down, Tommy going back to watching the movie and Nikki back to watching Tommy.

He was so beautiful, Nikki had always thought so from the first day he had set eyes on him when he still drummed for Suite 19 and Nikki was still with London. How could he have known then that the skinny kid who looked no older than seventeen would be everything he had ever wanted and more? That he would quiet the terrible voices that whispered in his head about what a failure he was with loud bubbly chatter and more physical affection than Nikki had ever received in the combined total of his life?

He couldn’t have, so maybe it wasn’t love at first sight but it was love at second sight and that was still pretty damn miraculous if you asked Nikki because he knew that he was gone for Tommy just minutes into their first conversation at that shitty little diner after his last show with London.

Nikki slides a hand to creep up under his t-shirt that Tommy is wearing. He loves when Tommy wears his shirts, Tommy may be just a bit taller than him but he is just so damn slender, Nikki’s clothes always hang loose off of his narrower shoulders and expose his collarbones in a way that shouldn’t be so distractingly sexy considering Nikki sees his lover in skin tight leather and fishnets on a regular basis. But it is and Nikki prescribes it to his own possessive nature, something about Tommy in his clothing satisfying a primal urge to lay claim to his boyfriend.

He rests his hand on the warm smooth skin of Tommy’s lower back and lights up inside at the shiver he gets when he starts rubbing his thumb back and forth over the dip that his spine makes.

Tommy shifts against him and Nikki almost stops his petting but Tommy whines and the bassist continues his motions as Tommy speaks again, “I bet you’d do well in a horror movie baby, you’d definitely survive I think.”

“You think so?” Nikki murmurs, lips pressing kisses into Tommy’s hair.

“Mmm-hmm. You’d be the hero left at the end, alive after kicking some monster ass.”

Nikki laughs before smiling deviously, “You’d die in like the first ten minutes.”

“HEY!” Tommy twists in his hold and moves to straddle Nikki’s hips, face full of a mock offended expression and Nikki’s hands rest on his thighs like they were pulled there by magnets.

The lights are off in their apartment but the glow from the black and white movie on the television is enough to light Tommy up. Nikki is sentimental enough right now to momentarily think that’s because light is just drawn to Tommy, no matter the source it reaches out to bathe the younger man in its glow, as if it can sense Tommy’s own light inside of him.

“I’ll have you know Sixx that I would last until at least half way through.” Tommy says with indignation coloring his voice.

Nikki smiles wide again as he looks up at the drummer, “So even you admit you wouldn’t survive.”

Tommy sighs sadly, “Yeah, I’d die. I would be the tragic death that no one wants but pushes the hero to survive. You know, if I didn’t die doing something fucking stupid first.”

Nikki smiles as Tommy chuckles at himself a little bit, “Nah, you’d live babe.”

The drummer leans forward, hands on Nikki’s chest to support himself and the way the t-shirt he’s wearing slips to one side and nearly falls off of his shoulder, his curls slipping to frame his face just so, big brown eyes sparkling in the light of the television, it all combines together to create Nikki’s own personal vision of heaven.

“Even I know I’d die Nik but thanks for the support.” Tommy grins and leans down to rub his nose against Nikki’s in a small affectionate gesture and Nikki is sure that he doesn’t know just how much little things like that make his heart beat out of his chest, fill him with a warmth that is so contrasting to his previous chill that it’s almost painful as it spreads through him.

Tommy has always done things like that though. Even before they finally got together, even when they had just met and were still getting to know each other. The drummer is a physically affectionate person in general and he’s always hugging and touching people but he was always just so soft with Nikki. He was constantly cuddling into Nikki’s side and laying his head on Nikki’s shoulder and pressing a kiss to his cheek, almost as if he could sense how little Nikki had been touched like that in the past and made it his personal mission to remedy that.

It used to drive him crazy back when they still hadn’t admitted their feelings to each other. Because Nikki was sure that those little touches meant so much more to him than they did to Tommy. Now though, they drive him crazy in a different way.

Tommy backs away just a little bit, still only a few inches away from him and Nikki knows that he must be looking at Tommy with his ‘forever’ eyes. That’s what Tommy calls them, says that sometimes Nikki will look at him like he’s planning their next one hundred years together. He always knows when he’s looking at Tommy like that because Tommy gets this answering softness in his own gaze.

Nikki raises a hand off of Tommy’s thighs to cup the side of his face, fingers pushing into the curls slightly to keep them back, smiling softly when Tommy presses into his touch, “You wouldn’t die babe, because I’d never let anything happen to you. That monster can kiss my ass.”

The smile that slowly spreads across Tommy’s face absolutely takes Nikki’s breath away. How many lyrics has that smile inspired him to write? How many songs that will probably never make it to the public but that he hums to Tommy in bed were inspired by that expression? Nikki could make more platinum records than any artist in history, he could play to the biggest crowd in the world, could make it into the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame, but he would never be as proud as when he puts that look on Tommy’s face.

He uses the hand on Tommy’s cheek to pull him forward and presses their lips together in a short, sweet kiss. Nikki feels Tommy’s quiet gasp against him before the drummer is breaking their kiss to run his lips against Nikki’s jaw.

“My hero.” Tommy breathes out against his skin as Nikki drags his other hand over Tommy’s hip and underneath his shirt to pet at the soft warm skin of his waist.

“I’m hardly a hero, angel.” Nikki means it. The things that he’s done in his life hardly qualified him for such a position. There’s a darkness in him, maybe it was always there or maybe it was planted by his childhood, watered and grown by the early events of his life but whatever the case, Nikki can’t even begin to see himself in such a light.

“You are to me Nik, leather and chains and tattoos and all. My punk hero.” Tommy says it so earnestly, staring into his eyes with that tender expression that makes Nikki understand what Tommy means by ‘forever eyes’.

Nikki pulls him in for another kiss, firmer this time but still slow, just a press of their mouths against each other until he sneaks his tongue out to lick gently at Tommy’s bottom lip. The drummer opens up for him immediately, without hesitation, and Nikki reaches his tongue inside Tommy’s mouth to taste him. He could never get tired of this, of the way Tommy feels under his hands, under his mouth, could never tire of the taste of him on his tongue.

He feels a subtle tremor move through Tommy’s body as he curls his tongue around the younger man’s and he hears the whine that Tommy makes high in his throat. They have so many speeds to their relationship and when they fuck, both typically favoring the type of all-out throw down where they both lose control nowadays. Nikki knows that Tommy loves it when Nikki dominates him, when he fucks him hard and fast and barely gives him any time to recover before wrecking him all over again but he knows his lover so well. He knows that Tommy might love to get ruined, but nothing gets Tommy whining faster than when Nikki takes him apart slowly and that’s what Nikki wants right now. He wants the drummer falling apart under him in a way that makes Tommy feel every ounce of love that Nikki possesses for him.

Nikki moves the hand he has on Tommy’s face to sweep back and cradle the back of his head, fingers twisting in his curls, keeping him steady as he sits up so that Tommy is seated in his lap, not once breaking the contact of their lips as he continues to map out the drummer’s mouth. Tommy is whining louder for him now and when Nikki pulls back to catch his breath, the sound becomes unmuffled and it has Nikki surging forward to press kisses up and down the column of Tommy’s throat as the drummer buries his hands in Nikki’s hair.

“I love you Tommy,” Nikki breathes out against the skin of Tommy’s neck, determined to kiss every square inch of his body before the night is over, “Love you so fucking much angel, you got no idea.”

Tommy slides his hands from Nikki’s hair down to smooth over his neck and shoulders before cupping his bassist’s face in both hands and kissing him again, “I love you too Nik, god I love you baby.”

Nikki runs his hands over every plane and curve of Tommy’s body before settling on his hips and lower back, rubbing at the small of his back in a way that spreads heat through Tommy’s hips and makes him moan against the bassist’s lips, grinding down against where he can feel Nikki’s erection through their underwear beneath him. Nikki continues to pet at the warm skin as Tommy rocks his hips softly against him, little moans and gasps escaping his lips until he presses a kiss to Nikki’s ear, “Take me to bed Nik, I want to feel it, wanna feel how much you love me.”

The bassist can’t do anything but obey, wrapping his arms around Tommy’s waist and standing, blanket falling away as the drummer wraps his legs around Nikki’s hips and reconnects them in a kiss. Nikki’s feet take them to their bedroom by muscle memory, his eyes closed to savor the pure feeling of Tommy’s lips against his own, the sounds of his pleasure over the soft rain fall on their windows. They won’t be here for much longer, soon they’ll be picking out a house of their own and Nikki will have to relearn his way through it without the use of his eyes because the thought of separating himself from Tommy for even a moment while they’re like this is unbearable.

For now though he gets them into their room without any issue, not bothering to shut the door since Vince won’t be home tonight. He leans far enough over the bed to gently lay Tommy down before straightening back up and moving to grab a bottle of lube from on top of their dresser and pulling off his shirt and underwear easily, mindful of Tommy’s wanting brown eyes watching him.

He sees Tommy go to follow his lead and grab at the hem of his own shirt so he moves to settle in between Tommy’s legs and grabs the drummer’s hand, setting the lube next to them before taking Tommy’s other hand as well and pressing them both to the bed on either side of his head, dipping down to kiss him deep and devouring.  

“Just stay there angel, I’m gonna take care of you.” Nikki presses one more kiss to Tommy’s lips before he sits back on his knees and takes Tommy’s left ankle in his hands, bringing it up to rest on his shoulder and turning his face to kiss at the bone before slowly moving his lips up his calf.

Tommy takes a shuddering breath as he feels Nikki’s lips on him and sighs his name, “N-nikki.”

His tone of voice makes Nikki pause and exhale shakily himself at the raw emotion filling his heart right now, “I’ve got you baby.”

He continues his path and stops to suck at the thin skin behind Tommy’s knee, delighting in the twitch Tommy’s hips make and the whimper he releases before he moves up further to kiss and suck at the soft skin of Tommy’s inner thigh.

“Oh god Nikki, please… please just hurry.” Tommy moans as he squirms and arches in Nikki’s hold.

Nikki places a firm hand on Tommy’s hip to keep him down and still, nipping sharply at a spot on his thigh in reprimand, “Not tonight angel, I’m taking my time tonight.”

Tommy whines as he tries to push closer to Nikki’s mouth but the bassist just moves to the other leg and gives it the same treatment going down. The drummer is trembling by the time Nikki gets down to his right ankle and the bassist would normally take mercy on him at this point but he’s too caught up in Tommy right now to even consider hurrying this along. Instead he just slides his hands back up Tommy’s legs and starts pushing the t-shirt up so he can suck and nibble on Tommy’s hipbones, fingers sneaking under the material to tweak and rub at Tommy’s nipples.

The drummer’s legs are spreading wider automatically and shaking on either side of him, back arched and hips rolling up against nothing as he whimpers and calls out for him so sweetly.

Nikki places a few simple kisses to the skin underneath Tommy’s belly button as he skims his fingertips down his waist until he’s gripping the material of Tommy’s underwear, leaning back to watch as he pulls them away, the drummer’s legs coming back together to let him slip them down before promptly spreading open again once they’re off.

Nikki groans at that, Tommy is always so open, so wanton in bed that it never fails to drive him crazy. Looking at him now, face and shoulders flush, curly hair messy, eyes hooded and dazed as they stare into Nikki’s and long legs spread for him, Nikki swears that he has never seen anything so fucking beautiful.

He lets Tommy pull him down when the drummer’s hands find his shoulders, ducking to kiss him again as he slides his hands underneath Tommy’s body and clutches his close. Tommy wraps his legs around Nikki’s waist again and the bassist hisses when the drummer rolls his hips up against his. He knows what Tommy is trying to do, knows that he’s trying to goad Nikki into going faster, into just fucking him already but Nikki isn’t going to fall for it.

The bassist breaks free of Tommy’s hold and gently turns him over onto his stomach, pushing his shirt up and keeping Tommy’s hips pinned down as he presses his lips to the top of his spine.

“Nikki, nngh, baby, please, you’re killing me.” Tommy whines as Nikki moves his mouth down the length of his back and the older man can’t help but smirk against his skin when a rough suck midway down his spine has Tommy moaning and pushing his ass up against his hold. The further down his back Nikki gets the louder Tommy moans and when he pulls the younger boy’s hips up to settle him on his knees and sucks harshly at the base of his spine above his tailbone Tommy whines so loud and high pitched he surprises even himself.

“I’m getting there angel, gonna make you feel so good Tommy, I promise.” Nikki runs his hands reverently over Tommy’s ass, gripping both cheeks in his hands and spreading him apart delicately. Tommy is panting below him, hands fisted in the sheets of their bed and Nikki moans himself as he leans in to lick over his lover’s entrance.

Tommy lets out a surprised yelp, arches his back and spreads his legs further and the motion sends heat rushing through Nikki’s abdomen, encourages him to lick another wet stripe over the rim before firming his tongue up and slipping it inside.

He loves eating Tommy out, it’s honestly one of his favorite things to do because Tommy responds so beautifully, whatever tenuous control he had before completely leaving him and the high gasping keens he makes drive Nikki insane. Nikki thrusts his tongue in and out of Tommy, making sure to curl it up and rub as hard as he can against the walls of his hole, reveling in the scream Tommy lets out.

Nikki has never had a lover that drove him like this. Before Tommy, sex was purely for his benefit, of course he wanted his partner to feel good but that was secondary to his own pleasure. With Tommy it’s completely flipped. He couldn’t care less if he ends up coming after this, all that matters to him is making Tommy feel as good as he can because seeing Tommy in pleasure, seeing him come because of Nikki is more satisfying than any orgasm he has ever had with anybody else.

Nikki pulls back to catch his breath and watches lustfully as Tommy’s hips squirm in his hold and his entrance clenches around nothing. He leans forward and presses kisses and nips to Tommy’s cheeks as he lets go, reaching out to grab the lube and slicking up his fingers before pressing one inside slowly.

Tommy gives him a satisfied moan and then releases one fist to reach back for him and Nikki bends over to press his chest to his back and threads his fingers through the back of Tommy’s hand, pressing it back down to the mattress and capturing his mouth in a deep kiss, all the while thrusting his finger into him, adding a second slick digit when Tommy starts pushing his hips down onto it.

Tommy breaks their kiss to gasp as Nikki’s two fingers stretch him out and the bassist presses his forehead to Tommy’s temple, the air between them warm from the drummer’s panting breaths and Nikki basks in the intimacy.

“Nikki!” Tommy keens loudly suddenly, eyelids fluttering over those pretty brown eyes that Nikki so adores, hips stuttering and walls clenching around his fingers tightly. Nikki knows that he must have hit Tommy’s prostrate so he keeps that same angle as he drives in again with three fingers this time and Tommy collapses, chest to the bed and face buried in the pillow as he sobs from the pleasure.

Nikki releases Tommy’s hand and carefully tilts his head to the side so he can kiss the drummer’s cheek. He’s painfully hard now, throbbing with need as he feels how tight Tommy is around his fingers, as he watches his lover falling apart beneath him, more drunk off of Tommy’s whines and whimpers than any liquor could get him.

“Nikki, N-nik please, I-i need more, please baby.” Tommy moans as Nikki bites gently at his earlobe, fingers still curling up against that spot that makes his toes curl.

Nikki breathes out a shaky breath, “Tell me what you want baby, I’ll give it to you, always. Give you anything you could ever want Tommy.”

Tommy whimpers again, one hand reaching up behind him to tangle in Nikki’s hair, “You, Nikki, I want you, baby I want you inside me, please.”

Nikki groans, pulling his fingers out and kissing Tommy’s cheek again to soothe him when he whines at the loss of fullness, “Anything for you Tommy.”

The bassist runs his hands down the length of Tommy’s back and grips his hips, turning him onto his back, settling between his legs and sighing when Tommy’s hands find his face. Nikki stares into Tommy’s eyes and sees everything, everything that he never thought that he would have staring back at him. The pure, unconditional love shining in Tommy’s bright brown eyes steals the breath right out of lungs, beckons him in a way that’s impossible for him to resist. He curls one hand into Tommy’s curls as he surges forward to kiss him, his other hand holding on to his cock as he pushes forward into Tommy.

Nikki watches as Tommy tosses his head back, a shuddering moan escaping him as Nikki bottoms out while the bassist rests his weight on his forearms on either side of Tommy, pressing his mouth against the drummer’s throat as he pants and tries to catch his own breath.

Being inside of Tommy is unlike anything else. The pleasure is one thing, Tommy is hot and tight around him, it makes him dizzy with how absolutely good it is, leaves him wanting it all the time. But it’s more than that with his drummer, it’s the idea of them being connected, it’s how Nikki only feels whole when he is a part of Tommy like this, cradled inside of him, home.

Nikki feels Tommy bring his shaking legs up to wrap around his waist and the younger man uses that leverage to roll his hips up, sending Nikki deeper into him and making him gasp out, “Move, Nikki, need you to move now.”

One of Nikki’s hands next to Tommy’s head sinks into his hair and the other travels down his body to grip the outside of his thigh as he pulls out slowly enough to feel every inch of Tommy’s walls around him, pushing back in just as slowly to feel how he opens up to him, groaning as the drummer mewls, hands coming up to clench around Nikki’s back and keep him close.

Nikki rolls his hips languidly between Tommy’s legs, fucking him deep and slow, savoring every gasped moan, every loud cry when Nikki hits his prostrate, every sob when Nikki grinds his hips between thrusts.

He picks up his pace just a little, one arm releasing his grip on Tommy’s thigh to wrap around his lower back and lift his hips so that he’s at a perfect angle to slide right into the spot that makes Tommy see stars.

Tommy moans loud and long, fingertips pressing into the muscle of Nikki’s back and pulling the man on top of him down to press their lips together in what cannot technically be defined as a kiss, both too far gone to do more than pant and moan against each other’s mouth.

A particularly deep thrust has Tommy gasping and clenching even tighter around Nikki’s cock and the bassist hangs his head and grunts as a wave of pure pleasure washes over him, squeezing Tommy’s lower body even closer to him. Tommy’s fingers sink into his hair and card through the strands frantically as he presses kisses to Nikki’s forehead.

“Nikki, oh god… so good baby,” Tommy whimpers against his skin, pushing back against the bassist’s thrusts as well as he can with Nikki’s hold on him, “You love me so good Nik, please don’t stop.”

Nikki breaths sharply through his nose as Tommy talks, his words lighting him on fire like they always do and Nikki wraps his other arm around Tommy’s shoulders tightly, straightening up so he’s kneeling with Tommy held up in his arms and straddling his lap. Gravity drags Tommy down onto his cock and forces him deeper and the feeling of Tommy surrounding him is overwhelming to the point of incoherency as he thrusts up into his drummer, making Tommy throw his head back and wail, rolling his hips down without even thinking about it.

Nikki rests his head against Tommy’s shoulder as he drives into him over and over, mouthing over his sweat slicked skin and barely aware of what he’s saying as he whispers out praises, “My beautiful angel, so sweet baby. Can’t believe you’re mine, absolutely blows me away, are you close baby, shit, I’m so close, you feel so fucking good Tommy.”

Tommy nods desperately as he continues to moan, tears filling his eyes and one sliding down his cheek at the pleasure and emotion overpowering him.

“I’m close, nngh, god I’m close Nik. Wanna come with you, make me come with you, please.” Tommy’s pleas may as well be commands because Nikki is sliding his hand from the drummer’s shoulders to slip between them and grasp Tommy’s cock, jerking him off in time to his thrusts as Tommy cries out, more tears escaping his eyes.

It only take a few slides of Nikki’s hand and another deep thrust inside of him to make Tommy come, the way the drummer’s mouth falls open to whisper Nikki’s name so brokenly and the way his hole contracts around Nikki drags the bassist right along with him. His hands grasp on to Tommy to hold him close, groaning at the bliss that envelops him as he spills his release into him.

Nikki holds on to him as they tremble from the force of their orgasms, pressing kisses to Tommy’s collarbones that are exposed by the shirt he’s still wearing as he listens to the quiet little whimpers Tommy makes with his aftershocks.

He feels Tommy running his hands through his damp hair absentmindedly and sighs when the drummer cradles his head against his shoulder.

“Nikki Sixx, you better not ever fucking leave me because you’ve ruined me for anyone else, Jesus.” Tommy sounds exasperated, but so damn fond and satisfied that Nikki grins.

“Gotta keep you hooked baby, I’m trying to keep you forever here you know.” Nikki leans back, cupping Tommy’s face and rubbing a tear streak away with his thumb.

Tommy smiles, dipping down to kiss him briefly, “I’m never going anywhere Nik, not if I can help it. Except if a monster is after us then I’m out of here because we both know that I would die in no time doing something dumb like throwing a whiskey bottle at it or something.”

They both laugh at that and the movement jolts Tommy in his lap enough to make Nikki moan and start to harden again, the drummer gasping at the feeling of the bassist stretching him as he grows, “Fuck, already Nik?”

Nikki smirks, “I already told you didn’t I baby?”

Tommy yelps as Nikki lays him down and rolls his hips into him, pressing forward to whisper in his ear, “I’m taking my time with you tonight.”

The drummer moans at that, “Forget the monster, you’re definitely going to be the death of me Sixx.”

Nikki laughs giddily before capturing Tommy’s lips is a ravenous kiss, intent on showing his angel how much he loves him for the rest of the night.

[rogerstoast]

Garage Band//Roger Taylor x Fem Reader

warnings: fluff ig, really simple and cute

AN: I wrote this a long ass time ago and never revised it so apologies in advance for errors.

You were in your second year at Imperial College, and struggling to get through your second set of finals this year. Only three more exams to get through and you could finally say hello to summer.

The fact that you have been sitting at your desk studying for the last six hours, didn't help with stress either. No matter how much you studied, you just couldn't seem to grasp any bit of information from the papers in front of you.

Figuring it was going on six, and you have been sitting in an old wooden chair since noon, a well deserved break was needed. Capping your pen, you got up, stretched, grabbed your jacket and headed out of your dorm for a walk.

As you were walking down the streets of London, subtle music began to play in the distance. It wasn't half bad either. Quite decent actually. The music grew louder and you noticed a few, small groups of people, mostly girls, were gathered on the driveway of the house.

You looked both ways before crossing the street to see what was going on. Once you reached the house, it was hard to get about considering so many students were crowding the lot. Squeezing through and shoving past all the bodies was a struggle, but you managed to get to the front and into the garage.

Just as expected, it was a band. Now that you're here, you remembered your friend telling you about them a few days ago. But you weren't expecting them to be this good. The group was made up of three uni students. A tall one with wavy dark hair playing the guitar, and another dark haired guy, a little shorter, playing the bass. They both were singing. Along with the fella who caught your eye instantly. He had blond, wavy hair and played the drums wonderfully. Never missing a beat, and harmonized with the group beautifully.

About two songs in, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"(Y/n)! What are you doing here?" It was your friend Lorali, the one who told you about  the band.

"Needed to get some fresh air after sitting at that desk for so long. Thought I'd see what was so special about this band you were telling me about" I told her.

"Well I'm glad you came! Wanna go get a drink with me? Bars inside."

Accepting the fact that it was a Friday night and you studied enough for the day, you gave into her offer.

"Sure thing!" Following Lorali to the door located behind the band, you figured you would steal another glance at the drummer, as you were about to past him. However, he seemed to have caught your glance just as they were finishing their song. You immediately looked away, and followed your friend through the door, as you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks.

"What are you blushing about," she asked you, noticing your obvious flushed complexion.

"Wh-what? Nothing. Just need a drink that's all."

"Oh please (y/n), what kinda twat do you think I am. Do you really think I didn't see you making heart eyes at the drummer a second ago?"

Damn it Lorali.

She could always see right through you.

"Oh shut up! Doesn't matter, it's obvious he's the womanizer of the group, what should it matter to me?" But before she could deny anything, I poured myself a shot of whisky and downed it as fast as I could. Feeling a wave of relief already, I gave her a look as if to say alright, go on.

"The night is still young, (y/n). Let's go back out there, they're almost done!

Following her back out to the garage, you noticed it had got darker outside, and string lights lit up the garage as students gathered around a fire pit on the driveway, smoking and dancing along to the music.

Lorali led you to the couch up front, and you took a seat right next to her, each with a beer in hand. Facing the band, they sang and rocked their hearts out to their closing song. You happened to really like it. Wether it was the subtle head bops, or the perfect rhythm he managed to keep, you couldn't keep your eyes off of the drummer. He played perfectly. The song then came to a faster, more rock n roll bit and the guitarist played a rif while blondie hit the drums harder and faster than before.

This time when he caught you staring at him, you didn't look away immediately right after. Same goes for him, giving you a wink and a cheeky smile. Doubting the possibility he could be looking at you, you turned your head around to see if the group of girls from earlier was behind you or something. Only to find them outside, and groups of guys behind you instead. When you turned around, he seemed to notice your disbelief, and subtly laughed to himself. You blushed and looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed that you thought he wasn't gesturing towards you.

Drinking from your cup, they finished the song and ended it with harmonizing their voices and it sounded like the most spectacular thing you have ever heard before.

doooiinnn allllllrrrrrriiiggghhhhhtttt

The guitarist then spoke into the mic, "Thanks for coming out everybody, we really appreciate it!"

You sighed to yourself, that the live music was over for the night. But just as a record started playing from the corner of the room, you stood up for your spot on the couch, next to your friend. In need for a quick smoke, you informed her you were going to stand outside for a bit and warm up by the fire.

Noticing people have either left or gone to get their second round of drinks, you stood next to the fire pit, struggling to warm up. Pulling a pack and a lighter from your coat pocket, you were slightly disappointed to see that you were all out.

"Having a bit of trouble over there?" You heard a deep voice ask you from behind, causing you to turn around.

Crap. It's him. "Oh I uh, I uh, I'm all out, that's all," you awkwardly chuckle and look down.

"No worries," the drummer then pulls out a pack and offers you a cigarette.

You take it as your fingers lightly brush over his. "Thanks," you say, with a small smile.

You both light your cigarettes and you allow yourself to really let it sink in before taking a long breath out.

"I'm a, I'm Roger by the way," the drummer offered is hand out for you to shake

"(Y/n)," you reply, shaking his hand in return. 

"Wow, that's a nice name. How come I've never seen you around here before?" he asked.

You blush a little and turn to meet his eyes. Wow, you thought. It was the first time you saw his big blue eyes. Just as you were about to get lost in them, you remembered he asked you a question.

"Oh, I uh, I came with my friend. You guys were amazing by the way, should've come around sooner."

He chuckled and took a small step closer to me, "Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I feel like I've seen you around." his mention came off more as a question.

"Yeah, im a uni student. Second year actually, majoring in fashion design. What about you?" I asked him, bringing my cigarette back up to my lips.

"Dental student. Doesn't seem to be working out well. Hoping this band thing works out," he said, looking back at me.

"Ah I wouldn't worry about it, you guys were amazing," I reassured him with a smile, hoping I wasn't coming off too obsessive with all the compliments I was giving him.

But Roger loved how you would blush and gawk over the band. Although you never noticed him until this night, he has noticed you since the beginning of his second year at uni. He sat at the very back in a class you two shared with each other, but you never seemed to noticed he existed until today. Roger on the other hand, was the total opposite. He noticed you the first day, and couldn't get over how beautiful you were. The way you concentrated so hard in class to make sure you took all the right notes, and the way your tongue would poke out of your mouth when you were focused. Roger admired all of it. Everything about you. But, he never had the courage to talk to until tonight. It was almost as if he had been intimidated by your perfection, and it made him nervous, which is not in his nature. Being known as the womanizer and all. 

"If I don't know any better, I'd say you have a little crush on the band," he brought up, trying to mess with you.

"Oh shut up!" you joked back, nudging his shoulder with yours, both of you lightly chuckling. It was only then when you realized how close you too actually were. Standing there, shoulder to shoulder.

You then realized your beer was empty when you went for another sip. Figuring you walked here, maybe it would be best to start heading back

"Well, i uh, I should get going I guess."

"Wait"

But just as you were about to walk away, Roger grabbed your hand to turn you around. Very quickly actually, resulting in your noses almost bumping each other as your faces grew closer all of a sudden. Neither of you said anything for a second, but just looked at each other. Both sets of eyes quickly looking down at each other's lips, then back at each other's eyes. Yet the awkward tension took over, making the moment suddenly uncomfortable.

"Let me get you another drink at least?" He offered.

You easily obliged with a simple, "okay," and a small smile.

He took your hand and led you through the garage past the bunch of people who were still there, and into the house to the kitchen.

While Roger went to the fridge to grab two beers, you hopped up and sat on the corner.

"So Rog, is this your house?" You asked curiously. 

He walked over to stand in front you, and handed you the can.

"Yeah, I've been rooming with Brian for a couple of months now."

You don't know why, but you felt so at ease around him. A sudden wave of confidence washed over you, causing the next question to come out of your mouth without a care in the world.

"I assume that means you have your own room then?"

Roger knew what you were intending with that question. He raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face as he walked closer to you, standing in between your legs.

"I suppose it does," he replied, your faces merely a few inches away from each other.

Roger placed a hand on your thigh, taking you  a bit by surprise. But you allowed it, and you couldn't help but feel more at ease because of it. The moment, it felt so right. But why? You barely knew him. You feel like you did, but you didn't.

"Hey (y/n)" Roger whispered, as our faces grew closer

"Yeah"

"I know you barely know me, but I need to be honest. Ever since I saw you the first day of uni, I thought you were absolutely stunning. I always sit at the back of class, and I can help but admire your perfection. It kills me, everyday when I see you."

This took you by surprise even more. That's why Roger looked familiar to you. But what he just confessed to you made your heart skip a beat, and cause butterflies to literally explode in your stomach. You were blushing uncontrollably and had a huge smile plastered on your face. Why? You didn't know. Even though you barely knew each other, everything felt as if it was meant to be happening.

"Roger, I-"

But before you could say anything, he leaned in and crashed his lips into yours. It was fast, but sweet and loving at first. You flung your arms around his neck, running your hand through his hair. He brought his other hand up to your cheek as the kiss became more heated. Both of you craved each other, need each other. Roger has been the missing thing in your life all along.

Roger then took his hands, slid them under your thighs, signaling for you to jump on him. Which you did, wrapping your legs around his torso as his hands made their way under your ass to hold you up. He then started kissing you down your neck, leaving love bites all over. The feeling completely melting your insides, you grabbed his face with both hands and connected your lips together yet again.

Before you knew it, Roger had already carried you upstairs. Your lips not letting go for even a single breath of air, the two of you pushed the door open, only for him to slam it shut with his foot, ready for night of his life.

——————————————————

[queenarticlearchive]

Sophisticratic rock - Genevieve Hall gets a dressing down from Queen

Record Mirror

March 30, 1974

Genevieve Hall

Fire and brimstone, the gnashing of teeth and all of hell’s fury, is nothing compared to the anger and wrath of Queen.

It was the first journalist they’d encountered after having had their new album Queen II slagged off unmercifully in most of the music papers. Plus the fact that one particular journal had analytically delved into the depths of hype using Queen and Merlin as their prime examples.

So was it any wonder that all their embittered feelings of outrage, hurt, anger and frustration poured out like hot lava from an erupted volcano?

Lead guitarist Brian May picked up the paper and waves it under my nose. “This article is the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever read in my life”, he declares vindictively.

“Look, there are people going to read this article - some of them won’t have heard of Merlin and some of them won’t know us. The headline screams out commercial pop. They’ve printed a very old picture of us, which we hate, looking extremely poppy, and underneath it is the word HYPE. The whole article says in a suggestive way that Queen are a hype.”

Hype

“To be honest it looks to us like a put-up job. They say we’re a put-up job. I say that’s a put-up job, and the reasons are that this paper completely ignored us all the time we were going around on the road building up a following. We draw about a minimum of a thousand people a night for the last God knows how many months and they all know where we’re at.

“This paper completely ignored us and so now that we’ve got to the position where our records are taking off and we’re in the public eye. Now we’ve got to that position without the help of the music papers, they can’t really admit that we’re good, they have to suggest we’re a hype or something.”

Is that how you really see it? I asked.

“That’s exactly how we think it is,” joined in their drummer Roger Taylor. “Supported by the fact that they’ve compared us to a totally new band who we’ve never even heard of. We don’t want to say anything against them, but, apparently they’re just a straight pop band. Whereas we’ve been playing and working up to this for years. Christ, I’m 24, Brian’s 25, Freddie is 27, John’s a bit younger 23. Plus the fact that we’re all intelligent enough not to want to be put across in that way. We want to put out music first.”

Is it coming first? I asked, we appear to be getting a giant-sized image with the music running a close second.

“That’s only ‘cos we want to put our music across in the most striking and entertaining way. We want to make an impact. Surely that’s what it’s all about - entertaining.

“And that’s another thing,” he continues, “They’ve given the impression that someone’s said to us, ‘here’s a load of money boys, go down to Carnaby Street and get yourselves some clothes.

“Freddie and I used to sell old clothes. In fact Freddie used to design and MAKE our stage costumes. We’ve always taken care to make sure that our clothes are just right and look good. Perhaps they’d prefer it if we went on in dirty jeans, but we don’t really think the public want to look at that. I think they’d rather see something that looks good.”

Their lead vocalist Freddie Mercury (the aristocratic one) reads aloud with indignation the parody of a hype lead singer, and comes to a part where it says that hype bands employ writers to pen their instant hit singles.

“Now how the hell do they think we fall into that category? They haven’t done any homework. They’ve even called John our bassist our drummer. They haven’t even bothered to find out what we’re really about.

“Everyone seems to object if you’re playing what you think is serious and the kids buy it, they can’t understand it.

“Well we’ve definitely had no Chinn and Chapman behind us,” Roger bursts out, “every song we’ve do is planned by us, including our album sleeves” (note the famous Queen crest designed by Freddie).

Uncontrolled

“We even have control on which tracks we want released. In fact out of all the bands, I think we’re the most uncontrolled.”

“Exactly,” says Freddie, “That’s why this article is a complete farce and nowhere near the truth.”

OK - so how come they’re able to obtain this uncontrolled freedom? It was Brian who answered. “Because the record companies desperately wanted us in the beginning. I know it sounds like blowing our own trumpet, but it’s true. We made demo tapes and everyone thought they were good and wanted us. They realised they were in competition with each other. So in the end we were able to settle for a deal which enabled us to dictate a bit.”

You can’t deny that you’ve been getting preferential treatment over a lot of equally good bands, I said glancing around at their specially provided de-luxe van, which had been given to them at the beginning of their British tour.

“Ah wait a minute,” says Roger. “It wasn’t until our record company realised we were succeeding before they started giving us the big treatment. At first EMI printed 5,000 copies of our first album and much to their surprise they had to reprint that number five times over. So naturally when we made our second album, they felt justified in a lot of work behind it. Which is really why there’s been enough copies in the shops to put it into the charts in the first week.”

“Yes, but any record company if they’ve got any sense is going to do that,” says Freddie, “it looks like we’re getting knocked for having the right people around us doing their jobs properly.”

Is that a large part of their success - having the right people doing the right job?

“No”, answered Roger, “that comes after. Our success is due to us being a bloody good band and also having common sense - ‘cos there a lot of bloody good bands around - to get things managed properly. But even so we wouldn’t have had the support of the people if they hadn’t believed in us in the first place.”

And now over to Freddie. “People think that if there’s a lot of money put behind a band and they seem to make it quicker than usual, then they’re a hype. But we’ve geared ourselves to jump a few hurdles and have benefited by doing so.” He glances down at his picture.

“Oh really,” he exclaims in disgust, “this paper has no flair - I mean to print this picture three times in succession … and just look at my arms!” He was horrified, “look at how fat they appear, now my arms aren’t like that at all - what do you think?”

He rolls up his sleeves for me to inspect and I’d like to state here and now that the poor dear’s arms are quite, quite slender!

Ripped-off

Phew! If after all that you think that the lads are hypersensitive to criticism and feel animosity towards their critics, then let Roger put you straight.

“No, we don’t hold grudges - we just go round and wrench people’s arms and legs off. Or send them bags of wet cement, nothing too violent!”

By this time John Deacon (who reminded me of the Alice’s doormouse) had woken from his slumbers (too many late nights and early mornings), he was reasonably cheerful for someone who had had his clothes ripped off the day before.

“By the law of averages,” he was saying, “it’s someone else’s turn to be ripped off today.”

You talk to him about the success of their Queen II album and he says, “It’s all our Mums and hype.” He’s a lot quieter than the other three, but can’t help warming to him as he’s completely unpretentious.

Freddie is a pretty dynamic character, he has an air of confidence which can sometimes be mistaken for arrogance. He has hair the colour of midnight, luminous brown eyes which he makes look evil with skillful use of make-up. He speaks ever so nicely (don’t you dear?) with the superfluous use of his hands, and commands attention rather than demands it.

Brian’s the tallest one and has a shock of dark curls which bring out the green flecks in his lucent grey eyes. He’s the thoughtful considerate one, and it’s a joy listening to him arguing with Roger.

And Roger - well he’s the pretty one with a sense of fun. He doesn’t look capable of busting a gut over a set of drums, but once he gets that adrenaline moving - the guy goes berserk.

Sucker

Music wise, Queen are a heavy electric rock band - but not raucous. There’s a fair amount of melodic structure incorporated in their material, which contains complex harmonies and could quite easily become messy was it not skillfully honed to precision. They’re exciting to listen to and watch, and have the good sense to capture rather than rupture the senses. The only word which describes their musical finesse is SOPHISTICATION.

After their British tour which climaxes at the Rainbow Theatre, Queen will take their ‘sophisticratic’ rock for a two-month stateside tour. Their opening night will be in Denver, Colorado, where they appear on the same bill as Mott the Hoople. I don’t know about the rest of you - but I’ve always been a right sucker for royalty.

[ohtheseboysilove]

The sunflower always finds its sunlight VI [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 400 K +

Warnings : language, alcohol,, angst, eating disorders, drugs

Summary :  Roger likes Reader since forever but the timing seems to just never be right for them. Reader is still haunted by her past relationship and kept rejecting Roger who know nothing about the abuses she had been victim of. After being rejected for the sixth time,  Roger thinks it’s time for him to move on…

🌼Requests are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“What the fuck is going on in here?” You jolted at the sudden yelling in the room, your eyes opening widely to find a rather piss off Nina. “Care to explain Roger ? Fucking pig !” She shouted angrily and you quickly stumbled out of the bed, cheeks turning crimson, knowing very well how the scene looked like from the outside.

“Wait, dove, it’s not what you think !” Roger jumped out the bed where a minute earlier the both of you were cuddling cosily into each other’s arms, snoring quietly. “Nina, let me explain !” He ran after her, pleading for her to listen his explanations.

You were beyond embarrassed. God, nothing happened but you still felt like in sort way, you betrayed Nina. She was a nice girl and now she was certainly hating you to going a little too comfy with her boyfriend. Maybe you just broke their couple, you hoped no. The memories of the night before were a bit clouded but you were sure absolutely nothing between Roger and you happened...well almost nothing.

Flash back :

You were walking, well, rather stumbling on the pavement, your legs quavering lightly due to your state. You were already regretting to have left Roger, you were freezing your ass, your jacket still into the club somewhere and honestly, it wasn’t safe to walk all by yourself, high and in the middle of the night when you were a woman. You wandered in the street for a good ten-minutes, heart beating so quickly against your ribcage, every shadow was scaring you and you didn’t catch any taxi yet. You were sweating as you were going down from your high, making you slightly paranoiac and after five more minutes of total nonsense walking, you sat on the side-walk, panting heavily and cheeks soaked by your tears. You didn’t even know why you were crying but it was certainly the last time you were doing hard drugs.

“Let’s go home, love hum ?” You raised your head quickly to find Roger’s round eyes  looking down at you. He crouched at your level, draping his jacket on your shoulders and gently hold you for a minute.

“I thought you left” You murmured with a shaky voice, head buried into Roger’s warm and familiar chest, your arms wrapped around his back like a koala bear. Your mind were going crazy, head spinning and weird shiverings flying through your system.

“You really thought I was going to leave you walk home in your state ? At four in the morning ? Not chance, love” He helped you stand up on your wobbling legs, his large palms wrapped around your waist as he gently guided you to the main street where you where coming from, waving one of the cab waiting in front of the club. “Mind your head, love” You slid into the back seat, your fingers spasmed violently onto your lap, you hated how you were going down from your high, it was a real nightmare.

You were a tad surprise to see him sat next to you, pushing your head back on his shoulder like it was the most natural thing to do in the world. And, damn it, it felt like that.

“How you’re feeling, love ?” His whispered into your hairs, his hand gently rubbing your knees as you were shaking against him, eyes firmly shut to avoid the spinning.

“Horrible” You cried against his chest as the drummer grabbed your fingers, massaging softly to stop your incessant curling, making your hand sore. “m’ feeling so strange Rog, my whole body ‘s so heavy” You just wanted everything to stop.

“I know, love, that what happened when you going down from your high, first times are always awful” The taxi pulled off and after Roger handed to the driver money. “m’ gonna take care of you, let’s go” You almost tripped on your own feet as soon as you were out of the car, your legs completely out of order. “Alright, c’mere wobbly little thing” He chuckled gently and put your lifeless hands around his neck before before sliding his hands under your thighs, lifting you effortlessly.

“’m sorry for what I said earlier” You murmured against his neck, his dirty locks tickling your jaw funnily. You never felt so...weird, like you were into a bubble and Roger’s was the only thing which was keeping you on the ground. “I do need you Roger, more than I should” You confessed into your dizzy state, Roger’s breath itching in his throat at your words. And at the light contact of your lips against his delicate skin of his neck.

“Don’t worry (Y/N), I got you” He tightened his embrace and carried you to the door, fighting a bit with the locker before opening the house door. “Here we are, I’m gonna bring you a glass of water, love” He gently dropped you on his bed and quickly walked off to the kitchen.

You blinked several time, trying to clear your mind but it wasn’t working, a headache was now hitting you, making you whined pathetically.

“I feel so stupid right now” You cried as the drummer came back, handing you a fresh glass of water. “Thank you” You croaked weakly and sipped it slowly.

“I guess you learnt a lesson tonight” He gently brushed away the locks from your face, his lips curling into a soft smile as he stared at you. “Let’s put you to bed, love”  He kicked off his and your shoes before helping you sliding into one of his pyjama pants and a loosely tee-shirt. He already saw you more than once in your underpants so it wasn’t nothing new for the two of you.

“’m so cold, I’m fucking freezing” You groaned as you climbed into the bed, the drummer following closely. No one of you commented the fact that he shouldn’t sleep into the same bed as you, not when he have a girlfriend. It was wrong but neither of you decided to do something against it.

“Shit, your feet are cold, love” You were snuggling onto Roger’s chest, blanket hiding half of your face and you didn’t resist to warm up your feet on the drummer bare legs, his pyjama short only covering before the knees. “You’re shaking, poor thing” He cooed as your face disappeared into his neck like earlier, lips brushing on his skin and this time he couldn’t repress the low moan which escaped from his mouth.

You stopped moving as the sound, feeling Roger’s shifting a bit under you. He wasn’t moving either, embarrassment flushing over him. You didn’t know if it was the lack of sleep, the drug or Roger’s body against yours but you pressed your lips again his skin, leaving a real kiss this time. The drummer didn’t protest but you could feel his heartbeat quickened in his chest as you kept going, your mouth gently brushing against his collarbone. His scent was so comforting, it was making you feeling like home. It was simply Roger, no word could describe that.

“(Y/N)...” He murmured in a mixing between a moan and a warning, your warm lips travelling down his throat. His eyes were completely shut under your sweet tortures, his fingers were gripping harshly on your waist, chest panting at the feeling.

“Rog, I want to kiss you” You breathed as your lips brushed on his sensitive spot right at the junction of his jaw, he moaned louder, goosebumps erupting on his arms at every touches. “Do you want me to kiss you ?” You stopped your lips at the corner of his mouth, your eyes looking for his in the darkness. Your thumb gently brush on his bottom lip, butterflies in your stomach going mad at your and the drummer’s proximity.

“’f course I do” He replied in a whisper, his wide eyes flicking between your mouth and your gaze, his mind was racing about the whole situation. “But not tonight, love. You’re high and not thinking clearly. And I have a girlfriend, it would be wrong to kiss tonight” The regret in his tone was clear, he wanted this kiss as much, maybe more than you but he was right, the timing wasn’t good. “We can talk about that tomorrow morning okay ?” The blond pressed a peck on your hairs as you nodded tiredly, head falling on his warm clothed chest.

Within a minute, you were deep asleep.

End of the flash back.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You almost kissed Roger, knowing perfectly he had a girlfriend, god you weren’t that kind of girl, never. You quickly changed back in your old clothes from last night and tiptoed out of the room, chewing your lips at Nina’s yelling.

“How I’m supposed to believe nothing happened Roger ? She was literally sleeping on you, for fuck sake !” You silently zipped your shoes on, ears reddening at the mess you just created.

“She’s is my best friend ! Of course, nothing happened !” His words hurt a little. A bit insulting too. But he told you, he won’t taking any other risk until you were sure about your feelings for him, only you and him didn’t had the time to discuss about this like you said you will. “Listen, I bring her home because she was fucking high, I don’t how she managed to take coke but she was not doing well, I couldn’t just leave her !”

“She told me she already had coke !” Nina yelled back and you heard Roger gasped loudly at her words.

“You’re the one who give her coke ? What is fucking wrong with you ?” You jumped at the anger in the drummer’s tone but Nina yelled back even louder, giving you the hint that it was time for you to leave.

**

After this horrible morning, you went back home, drowning your shame under a long and hot shower, trying to find a way to fix what you caused. You didn’t know if Roger was regretting what almost happened or if he still wanted to talk about it but for now, you couldn’t do anything about it. If he wanted to talk, he knew where you lived.

And he did show up. Around six in the afternoon, several knocks on your door woke you up. You groaned and lazily opened the door, hairs sticking in every direction.

“Roger ?” Your heart jumped in happiness at his sight, holding a massive bouquet of sunflower in his hands, timid smile curled on his face. It brought you back years ago, when he asked you out around a year after your break-up with Donovan, full of hopes before you crushed his heart. You will not make the same mistake twice. “I...what about Nina ?” You murmured with a nervous voice, praying his sudden appearance on your doorstep was the same reason than three years ago.

“I broke up with her” The drummer replied after clearing his voice, sending crazy the butterflies in your stomach. “Can I come in ?” You nodded eagerly and closed the door behind him, trying to contain your excitement. Was it really happening ? Finally ? “Go out with me” You eyes widened at his words but he kept going, his gaze diving into yours, his hands shaking a bit around the bouquet. “I know I said I would not ask you again but after these past months and yesterday...I’m giving a last go. (Y/N), I’m still in love with you and I want you, more than anything else in the world so would–“

“Yes” You cut him with crimson cheeks, heart beating so fast you were afraid to pass out. “I will go out with you, Rog” The smile on his face was the most beautiful thing you ever saw, his eyes in the roundest shape possible as how surprise he was. But definitely thrilled, a little timid yeah ? leaving his parted lips as you nodded eagerly.

“I knew seven was my lucky number” He murmured in a relief sigh. His hand dropped the flowers on the dinning table and wrapped his arms around your back, hugging you tightly. “I can’t believing this is finally happening” You smiled softly, nuzzling against his neck, savouring his scent and warmness. God you could stay like this forever. “You don’t how badly I want to kiss you right now” His whisper brought shivers down your spine and you moved away your face to look at him, lips tingling at the craving to kiss him too.

“Then do it” You murmured while your slid your hands behind his neck, fingers twisting his blond locks absent-mindedly.

“I’m a gentleman, first I’m taking out for our date and then I kiss you until I don’t have any oxygen left in my lungs” The drummer replied before pressing a kiss on the very corner of your lips before letting you go, smirking lightly.

“You’re such a tease Taylor” You grinned back.

“I waited eight years for that kiss, I can wait a little bit longer” He said as he looked at you while your were putting the sunflowers into a vase. “But only if we going on a date tonight” He added with a cheeky smile, hugging again but from behind this time, not letting you move from his embrace.

“You know you need to let me go if you want me to get ready for our date tonight” You chuckled as you laid against his chest, his lips working on your jaw, nibbling at it so softly, it was insanely good.

“One more minute” He answered against your skin, his mouth leaving light peck on every inches of your neck, his nose brushing and making you giggled. “Plus, you don’t need to get ready, you’re already perfect”

You chuckled and moved away from him, promising him you would get ready quickly. Your heart was beating so fast as you picked a simple top and pants, jumped into it before joining Roger in the living-room. He was smoking a cigarette and smiled lazily when he saw you, eyes roaming on your body with a cheeky grin.

“Beautiful” He breathed before standing up and grabbing your hand. “Ready for our first date, love ?” You could see in his eyes the sparkle of excitement and how hard he was trying to not get to eager about taking you out. You couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

**

The first ten minutes of the date had been awkward. Like if you were two total strangers trying to please each other. That was stupid, you were best friends and both of you sharing strong romantic feelings but as soon as you fought for the only wedge in your chips basket, the atmosphere immediately relaxed.

You were in one of your usual pub, you weren’t fan of fancy stuffs and Roger caved just for this time and you were both eating greasy food with a pint a beer, sharing loving gazes. You felt good. So good. Everything was so simple and easy with Rog, his hands brushing against yours from time to time, making your heart skip a beat every time.

“I was thinking...” He bowed his head toward as you chewed on your chips, tilting your head in a curious motion. “We’re soon gonna leaves for touring but when we’re done, maybe you and me could enjoy some holidays, just the two of us” You swallowed your bite and batted your lashes furiously, flustered by his sudden proposition. “I know this is a bit quick but we deserved it, don’t you think ? We had been pinning on each other for too long. I just want to spend few days, somewhere where they put little umbrella in our cocktails”

“I can’t say no to that” You murmured with a giggle, Roger’s cheeks were fully pink and he was looking damn adorable all shy. “I can certainly use some vacations” You melted at his heart-shaped eyes when you agreed, his hands gripping yours with excitation.

“Do you have a preference between the Seychelles or Bali, love ? Or maybe the Maldives ?”

You chuckled at his very serious question and shook your head with an amused smile. “I never went to any of these places so...you can pick Rog”

“Oh yeah...true” The drummer blushed a bit at his stupidity but quickly joined your laugh. “I have another thing to ask you” You hummed in interrogation, encouraging him to continue. “Can I kiss you now ?”

“Well it’s not the end of the date yet, Mr Taylor” You teased but the truth was that you were just trying to hid your nerves about all of this. Roger was about to kiss you. This was so unreal.

“You’re the devil, woman” the blond sighed and stood up. For a second you thought you maybe offended him but he showed you the notes on his hands before walking to the bar to pay. You wiped your sweat on your pants and checked if you didn’t have anything stuck in your teeth in your little mirror, god, you were so nervous. “Want to go for a walk ?” You accepted his hand and followed him outside.

You were outside of the pub, looking at each other with doe-eyes, obviously both nervous. Roger didn’t want to screw his chance with you, didn’t want to pressure you in anything and he wasn’t sure he should kiss you right now or waited for a more romantic spot rather than the middle of the pavement.

“You look so beauti–“

The drummer stopped when you gasped loudly, eyes widening in pure horror.

“What it is ?” He turned his head to follow your gaze and that he saw him. 

Donovan.

You took a step back as you saw him get out from a taxi, walking with Brian and John, laughing and patting each other backs. No. No. No. Not when you finally tried to build something with Roger. This horrible human was supposed to be in America, not here.

“I...I got to go, Roger” You felt your eyes watered at the sight of the man who destroy your life. Shivers of fear rolling down your spin, stomach churning as he came closer to the entry of the pub, still not seeing you.

“What ? No, wait, I’m coming with –“ The drummer grabbed your forearm when you tried to walk away but you violently pushing his hand away, chest panting heavily.

“Don’t touch me!” It wasn’t intentional, it was just a pure terrified reaction due to Donovan presence but the hurt in Roger’s eyes was really real. “I...can’t do that right now, I can’t see him” You chocked with shaky hands, panic attack raising throught your body.

“(Y/N), love, please, what is it ? I thought you were over Donovan, what the matter ?” This time he didn’t touch you but begged you with his gaze, he needed an explanation for your sudden behaviour. “Please, don’t leave like that”

You were sobbing now, eyes travelling between Roger and Donovan who was smoking at the entry with Brian, unaware of your presence. You didn’t answer, trying to control your breathing as you felt your chest compressing under the high anxiety. Four years after the last time you saw him, he was still so terrifying in your mind, you hated him so much.

“Are you still in love with him ?” The drummer asked after seeing you didn’t answer but was looking at your ex-boyfriend in a distress state.

You glanced at Roger, his eyes shinning with tears, persuaded he was right. And it was normal to think that, everyone thought you were still into him because you refused to speak about him even if he was still friend with the bands, the fact that you practically didn’t date anyone since the break-up was pretty suspicious too. And now you were dumping your date at the sight of your ex, Roger had every reason to be desperate.

“(Y/N)...” You shook your head when the blond extended his hand toward you with pleading eyes. You should accepted it and go home with him, explain what Donovan did to you but right now, the rational part of your brain was drowning under fear. You just wanted to get the hell away from him.

And that exactly what you did. You mouthed a I’m sorry to the drummer and ran away, ignoring Roger broken calls.

**

tag list : @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley @vanitysfairr @loveandbeloved29 @luvborhap @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @geek-and-proud @fearless2tobeme @chlobo6 @stormtrprinstilettos @mrsmazzello @neckfruit @khaleesi2017

[navilluswrites]

I Have Loved The Stars Too Fondly To Be Fearful Of The Night Part 1

Amos Burton x OC

Tyco Station. The Belt.

August.

The clinic was busier than normal today. Which meant that August and everyone else working there was spread thinner than normal. Which, under the best of circumstances, i.e. a fully stocked and up to date clinic with a staff that was fully trained, fed and rested, would have been able to handle but this wasn't this best of circumstances, this was Tyco. A station on the belt which as a general rule was never a place where the best of circumstances never seemed to occur.

August was going back and forth between three different patients. She was holding on the lungs of a kid named Kai when the com sparked to life. "August, Fred needs you at the docks. We've got injured incoming," came the female voice of Fred Johnson's second in command, Drummer. August clenched her jaw in annoyance and continued her work. She directed one of the nurses to what medicine the kid needed and had moved onto the arm of one of the five Black Sky members who were currently in the clinic. The Black Sun and some other OPA faction had gotten into a scuffle and the Black Sky had gotten their asses kicked and come limping to the clinic to be patched up. The genius she was currently attending to thought, despite his recent loss, that he was a badass and right before she reset his arm, kept asking her out for a drink. He stopped when she reset his arm.

The com crackled again, with the same voice, sounding slightly more annoyed "August."

"Kinda in the middle of doing my job right now," she responded while putting the cast wrap over the guy's arm.

"Last time I checked, part of your job is listening to your boss."

"Damnnit, I'll be there as soon as I can." She looked around frantically until she made eye contact with the other doctor.

"Go," said the older man, Ted, "I've been around here long enough to know how to hold down the fort."

"Sorry," she grumbled with an apologetic grimace before grabbing her medic bag and rushing out into the busy corridors and heading to the docks.

-----

"Alright, I'm here your highness, now what do you want?" she said with a mock bow as she caught up with Fred and Drummer.

"We've got some guests coming, and I suspect they'll need some medical attention."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh?"

"Trust me, this will be important."

"That line is getting really old," she grunted as she set her bag down on the ground and sat on one of the shipping containers. She and Drummer exchanged a look. She'd rarely seen Fred this...eager she supposed was the word for it, but also nervous. She racked her brain to think of who this important "guest" could be and all she could figure is it certainly wasn't a Belter. It wasn't that Fred didn't care about Belter's, he wouldn't be here if he didn't, but sadly Belter's rarely had anything to offer other than maybe some intel or boot on the ground. They didn't have the money that Earth or Mars had that opened doors to something that would make Fred react like this. That being said August didn't have the clearest insight on the inner machinations of the OPA. She was from Earth originally at least and eventually found her way out onto the belt for more than a few reasons but largely as a way to escape her old life and the people in it.

A few minutes later the docking clamp locked onto the ship they were waiting for. "Wait for me here," Fred said before walking onto the bridge. "You know I could be helping people instead of waiting around for you," she called after him in a tone that was somewhat teasing but also carried a note of irritation.

About fifteen minutes later Fred came back and gestured for her to come aboard. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but an MCRN gunship with James Holden and his crew was not it. But it did explain why Fred had brought a welcome committee. He was trying to woo them, either to get them to give him information or get them to do something, possible both based on what she knew of Fred.

There were four people on the ship. Three men, all Inners, and a Belter woman. They were all that was left of the Ice ship that had been blown to bits...and then the Mars Flagship that had suffered the same fate. Either they were saboteurs extraordinaire or the most unlucky bastards off all time. Even before they showed up at Tyco's doorstep the station had been abuzz with theories about them: who they were, what they were doing and why. For fairly obvious reasons a lot of people were trying to convince themselves that they were secretly OPA operatives because that would mean that the OPA had a plan. Based on her observations of the OPA the last few years, however limited, she didn't think that was the case.

The crew viewed her with suspicion as she entered, Fred Johnson looming over her. Considering what she knew about them she figured it would be fair that they'd be a suspicious lot.

"This is August. She's one of the top medics on the station and more importantly, I trust her. After what you've been through I want to make sure none of you move going to die on me. If there is anything you need during your stay here please let me know," with that Fred Johnson turned on his heel and strode back through the bridge. Leaving August, much to her annoyance, among the strangers who made it clear from their facial expressions that they didn't want any help. The Belter woman spoke first.

"We've all checked with the med-doc it gave us the all clear. And no offense but being trusted by Fred Johnson doesn't count for much in my book."

August chuckled, "That's fair but look I'm not here to try to get in your business, just let me do my job and check your vitals, make sure nothing's off and I'll get out of your hair." The Belter looked like they were going to argue when the man of the hour, James Holden, chimed in, "Can't hurt." The Belter and Holden exchanged loaded looks and then she shrugged and walked back over to a computer.

"Alright well seem like it would make sense to do this in the med bay?..." August said tentatively.

"Follow me" Holden gestured. Once in the med bay August ran her scans on Holden and was surprised when nothing came back. "How the hell did you survive two shipwrecks without a scratch?"

"I got lucky....others weren't so..." while he spoke she noticed the bags under his eyes, they were so dark and hollow he almost looked like a character in a horror movie or something.

"Are you sleeping okay," she asked while casually re-checking the data from the scans.

"What?" After a beat, he added, "As well as I can."

"You've been through a lot. A lot of trauma. I'm no psychiatrist but physical health isn't the only thing you need to take care of. Without your brain, your body's not much good."

She said with a kind smile, which to her surprise he returned.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said before heading out of the med bay and waiving the next person in. The next guy was also definitely an Earther. She flipped through the charts until she found his picture and name. A voice in the back of her head made note of the fact that he was "extremely fucking hot", but she shoved that thought away, she at least wanted to act like a professional even if she didn't always think like one (or act like one off the clock).

"You must be Amos?" she asking while glancing the information up his previous med doc scans.

"Yup," he said in a flat affect as he sat down.

"Says here you broke your leg?" She asked while trying to gauge his reaction. Where the Belter, Naomi, had seemed suspicious, and Holden welcoming, Amos seemed to be totally neutral, unnaturally so.

"Yeah, when we were leaving the Donnager." He said, still emotionless.

"Mind if I check it out?"

"Do what you gotta do," he replied. She knelt down and rolled up his pant leg. She took the med wrap off it, it was Mars tech so it was significantly better than what she had used on the OPA kid earlier today, and it had seemed to get the job done, she hadn't noticed him limping at least.

"What happened?" She asked as she scanned the injury.

"Got shot while getting out of there." His response was like a soldier giving a report on something very routine. Which is wasn't. Any of it. What led up to getting shot. Getting shot and blowing out your leg in an escape, and yet he acted like it was nothing. Holden seemed like he'd been through hell, this guy on the other hand...

"Hm...any pain when you walk," she questioned while checking the bone.

"Would you be able to do anything if there was?" His response caught her off guard, she supposed Fred's endorsement had only made her seem less trustworthy.

"I could try. But you didn't answer my question."

"It's fine," he said after staring at her for a moment. She was checking the scan and surprisingly it looked pretty good.

"Would you tell me if it wasn't?" She raised her eyebrow in question.

"Cap says you're okay so, yeah." His face was expressionless which seemed strange to her, she tried not to dwell on it, like she told Holden, the psyc end of things wasn't her bag.

"Alright well, I guess the Mars med-tech did the trick. My medical advice: stop getting shot at." She gave him a smile but he didn't react, just seemed to asses that she was done, got up and walked out.

It was certainly a weird interaction but she shrugged it off and continued on with her check-ups on the two other crew members of the Rocinante.

[stopplayshuffle]

MINI MANSIONS CONCERT: WHY CONFIDENCE MATTERS IN WHAT YOU LOVE

 On Monday, June 24th 2019, I attended a Mini Mansions concert at The Independent in SF CA. I’ve seen Mini Mansions perform live before when they opened for Arctic Monkeys at the Bill Graham Civic Center in SF on October 20th 2018. However, this is my first time seeing them at their own show for their own tour. That night was incredible, not just because of their performance, but because I got to actually meet two members from the band.

If you are not familiar with who Mini Mansions are, I’ll give a bit of background. Mini Mansions is a music trio made up of keyboardist/vocalist Tyler Parkford (touring keyboardist for Arctic Monkeys), bassist Zachary Dawes (the Last Shadow Puppets), and guitarist/vocalist/ (former drummer?) Michael Shuman (bassist for Queens of the Stone Age). Mini Mansions is a side project for the three members since, as you can see, each of them are involved in other projects.

I became familiar with them through Arctic Monkeys, since Alex Turner was featured in their 2015 album, The Great Pretenders (track 6: “Vertigo”, if anyone was interested in what song). Then I saw them perform live when they opened for Arctic Monkeys. This isn’t their first time opening for them either, since they opened for them before in their previous tour. Needless to say, they have a strong relationship with those Sheffield lads. While standing there and feeling curious to what their other music was like apart from “Vertigo”, I came to find that their setlist was pretty good. Their music is unique, which is too simple a word to describe the kind of music they make. It’s like vintage ‘60’s rock n’ roll distorted with psychedelic elements, accompanied with groovy bass lines (compliments of Zach Dawes), poppy piano hits (thanks to Tyler Parkford), and bluesy guitar riffs (from multi-instrumentalist Michael Shuman). I am a huge fan of vintage rock/pop, like the Beatles, Beach Boys, you get the picture. So hearing something that is similar to that kind of music will most likely capture my interest. And I was definitely interested in Mini Mansions.

The concert itself was pretty cheap, about $15 a ticket. After spending about $105 for Muse, $120 for Mike Shinoda, and about $70 for Arctic Monkeys, I was pretty stoked how affordable this show was. I didn’t want to stress myself out by trying to arrive 4 hours early to get a decent spot. My mentality was, whatever spot I get is what I get. My sister, Jenni, and I arrived at the venue about 45 minutes before they opened the doors, and to my surprise, there wasn’t a lot of people waiting in line. There were maybe about 6 or 7 people waiting before us. I’m guessing everyone else had the same mentality as I did going into this concert. I was relieved that my feet wouldn’t be worn out from waiting so long, and I now had the energy to withstand the entire show. When we were finally let into the venue, I walked straight to the front of the stage, not using my peripheral vision to catch anything weird or exciting. While standing in front of the carpeted stage with a tape that ran across the edge reading “NO DRINKS” my sister tapped me on my shoulder and asked, “isn’t that Mikey working the merch booth”? as she pointed towards the corner that was diagonally across from where we were. I was like, “No, I don’t think so”, because why would a band member work their own merch booth, right? At least that’s what my dumbass thought. But then I squinted my eyes towards the direction she was pointing at, and as my eyes were adjusting in that dark room, with only a dim light hovering around the merch booth, I could tell from the gelled back hair that it was indeed Michael Shuman. He was wearing an all-black outfit: black moto jacket, black t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black shoes. Pretty casual. This is the exact opposite to the outfit he will later change into when he will perform, which was a white satin suit with some watercolor accents on it.

It was like having two personas, one being the regular guy selling band stuff and the other is the performer. I thought it was cool that he was working the merch booth because he wasn’t acting like he was too good to sell his stuff.

Jen asked me if I wanted to buy something, and despite the fact that I needed to save as much money as possible to have enough for my rent and other bills for the summer before school starts I said, “Hell yeah I wanna buy something!” But at the same time, I kept staring at the front of the stage, and I was apprehensive because I got a decent spot for the concert. The woman next to me told me, “You totally should, they’re really nice, I mean I’ll try to extend my arm out as much as possible to save your spot”. God, what a nice woman. I thanked my fellow concert friend and walked up to the line. There was only two people in front of me and they seemed to be a couple waiting next to each other, so I wouldn’t have to wait too long. But the girl took a while figuring out if she wanted a black Mini Mansions shirt or a white one. At this point, Zach Dawes was also at the booth helping his buddy, Mikey, out with making sure he had enough merchandise at the table. She asked Zach for his opinion, “which color do you like best?” And Zach, with his calm voice says, he liked both of them. I don’t even remember which color this chick went with, but they finally left the line, and I was finally next. I was standing face to face with Mikey Shuman, with only a plastic banquet table in between us. My eyes kept darting from his face to the posters to the left of him.

He actually spoke first and said, “Hi. How are you?”

And like a square I responded with, “I’m good, how are you?

“I’m good!” He said back, “What can I get you?”

“Uhh, may I have that poster please?” I pointed to the poster, which was signed by all 3 members.

“You may” with a dip at the end of “may” (what a polite gentleman).

(I put the poster on the stage so I can take a picture of it. No one was playing yet, btw. But that’s how close I was to the stage).

I didn’t want just a poster, (which I didn’t plan on where I was putting while watching the concert) I wanted something with it, so I asked Mikey if I could buy the CD that had Mini Mansions written in yellow on the top left corner, with a stuffed toy bunny on an illuminated plate. It was their first full length album they ever released, and I didn’t have that album yet. Which by the way, is hard to come by. It was sold out on Amazon for a while, and sold-out on their website too. I tried going to Rasputin Music a few months ago at the mall where I live to see if they had it. The cashier said there was something by Mini Mansions there, but I couldn’t find anything. I tried looking at a record shop in Santa Cruz, but no Mini Mansions CDs there either. I think it may have been available again on their website, but I waited on buying it, but I don’t remember exactly why. I think I wanted to avoid shipping fees and wait for it to be prime available on Amazon. Or maybe I was hoping I will find it in a record shop around where I live.

Anyway, I asked Mikey for the CD and he asked, “This CD right here?” He pointed to the CD.

“Yeah”

He then looked in another box, and when he put the box down empty handed he said, “Wow that was the last one”.

“Cool!” I responded with, like the fucking shy idiot I am.

It took me a while to get this album, I’m glad I waited so I can actually buy the album from the band themselves, but I wish I could’ve responded better.

(Photo of CD taken after the concert on my desk)

What happens next is so surreal that it took me a couple of days to comprehend that it happened. It’s nothing even that spectacular it’s just something that had never happened to me before. He tapped on the tablet the items I was purchasing and told me my stuff was going to be 35 bucks. I handed him my card and he actually swiped my card into the card reader sticking out from the tablet and asked, “Can you sign right here, please?”

This was mind-blowing to me, because I’m thinking shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t I be the one asking you to sign me stuff. But I signed the tablet, in a way like I’ve never been excited to sign my name to a purchase before. I couldn’t believe I was buying band merch from the actual band member himself, it was awesome. After he gave me my stuff, I handed them to my sister and asked him if I could shake his hand. The guy puts the tablet down and sticks out his hand and I’m fucking touching Mikey Shuman’s hand. I thanked him, and if I wasn’t enough of a square, my sister noticed an awkward silence and finally said, “I think you guys are great and I’m really excited for the show!” Both Zach and Mikey said thank you and both shook Jen’s hand. I thanked Mikey again and leaned over to shake Zach’s hand and went back to the front of the stage.

Obviously, I was excited that I met two of the members from the band. I couldn’t believe I actually talked to them. But I still felt unsatisfied, not with them of course, but with myself. I want to be a music journalist and interview bands and study music as a career. Because I have anxiety issues, including a bit of social anxiety, I am always awkward and shy when I meet people, which does not help me in the long run at all. There were so many things I could’ve asked Mikey: What do you like to play more, bass, drums, or guitar? I love how bluesy you get in The Great Pretenders, what was the inspiration for that?  I couldn’t even ask him something as basic as, hey how are you liking SF this time around? Anything weird happen to you yet? Ever been to Oakland? My God I suck. I could’ve even said, Wow, this is the last CD? No way? How lucky am I? Such a missed opportunity to connect with the band, and actually work on my people skills when I meet musicians for the job I want. Despite the fact that I wish I could go back in time to alter how I met Mikey and Zach, I was still grateful for the encounter I had. It’s not a common thing for me to meet the people who make the music I like.

Their performance was also great. After watching two openers, Tyler Parkford finally came out, but to set up his keyboard directly above me. He bent down and plugged some wires in. I’m sure it’s creepy having people stare at you while you’re doing something, so I looked away so he can do his job. But at one point I looked back up at his direction and while he was standing behind his keyboard, he looked at me and I smiled at him. I was happy that he smiled back. Unfortunately I never got to talk to Tyler that night, but I’m hoping I will in the future.

After Mikey sound checked all of the equipment, they began to play. They started off with “Freakout!” which is what they started with when they opened for Arctic Monkeys. The song isn’t super intense but has an upbeat tempo that is perfect for getting the crowd going. They mostly played songs from The Great Pretenders, but incorporated a few from their upcoming album, Guy Walks into a Bar… So we were getting that mix of relaxed familiarity from being able to sing along with the songs we already knew, and the excitement from the new songs from the album that has yet to come. A variety of uplifting emotions that was getting the crowd pumped. The song I connected to live the most was “Works Every Time”. “Works Every Time” is from their upcoming album, but they released it on their EP with the same title first. Since the song had been out for some time now, I was already familiar with it, and enjoyed the calm soulful singing of Parkford and swaggering bass lines of Dawes. The kind of sound that someone can listen to while driving late at night. But hearing it live was a different experience for me. The dreamy tone from the piano was more upfront, maybe because I noticed it more? I don’t know, but it was lovely.

Zach was a little shy when I met him, since he didn’t really say much; however, on stage he wasn’t shy rocking out those bass lines with his buddies. The guy has mad rhythm with his bass, and he didn’t look nervous on stage. If he was nervous, then I couldn’t tell because he played each song so naturally. I know if that was me up there, I’d probably mess up a lot from nerves, since I can barely sing right while singing karaoke with two friends.

When it came to the more fast tempo songs, especially “Mirror Mountain” all the guys got really into it, but Mikey was not shy of wailing around and screaming loud into the mic. I enjoy watching him get this intense honestly, [even though a couple of the audience members who I talked to at the Bart station after the show told me, at another Mini Mansions concert they went to in Sacramento, were afraid of Mikey potentially kicking them sometimes while he was rocking out, but luckily he didn’t]. His punk rock energy bounced across the entire stage, and as a direct result I got pumped watching him go. There was a point during “Mirror Mountain” when he bent down real close to the edge of the stage. He puts the mic close to his lips, and his palm held the back of an audience member’s nape. He sang close to this young man’s ear, and the young man smiled, probably from the attention he was receiving from Mikey, but he was also leaning back, possibly because he was trying not to get too close to him. Looking back at it now, I didn’t know what was going through that kid’s head, but he seemed unsure of how to react when the singer/guitarist for Mini Mansions was singing physically close to his face. I wouldn’t know either, to be honest, if that was me.

Needless to say, there’s a level of boldness that is needed to get that close to someone, without having that internal conversation wondering if you’re doing too much or just enough. He just did it.  While performing, he used his entire body (from his voice to his legs) to express himself, and while some people would think that’s too much or bold, either way, people are looking.

But that’s the thing when you express yourself in something you care about, may that be writing, food, books, or music, it will show. With Mikey, Zach, and Tyler they used their talents to create this interesting concoction of vintage inspired contemporary indie rock. They went with what they had, released it, and was able to perform it in about every part of the world.

In the end, they are going places with it, this thing that they love, or at least what it seems to me they love. In other words, they just went for it. I wish I could possess at least half the confidence of what they have. Maybe if I did, I would’ve been less awkward when I met Mikey and Zach.  Now, I’m not saying confidence is the only thing a person needs to pursue what they want, but confidence helps push someone toward what they want. With confidence, you can stand on a stage and exercise your skills in front of people, you can be yourself without the fear of judgement, you can talk to someone you’ve never met before and have a great conversation. With confidence, you just go for it.

[goodproofingwater]

Wildfire Records - Chapter Two

Word count: 2393 Playlist pick: Longshot - Catfish and the Bottlemen Press play when you see the *

The bar was in a small area of Shoreditch, hidden away in a square of restaurants and bars and punctuated with quirky signs that made them sure that this was the place. It seemed unreal that no one else in the business had wanted to do this, but she supposed that after a few years it could get old to work late on Thursday nights seeing bands that weren’t necessarily any good. How many performers had Cindy sat through before she had discovered Nothing But Thieves? How many nights had she sat in dingy soho bars listening to off beat drums and guitars screaming with feedback?

The girls made their way into the bar, and were quick to admire just how quirky this bar was. Not only did it have an unusual name, but the entire inside had images of David Bowie everywhere. From Major Tom on the walls to Ziggy Stardust behind the bar, the place was reeling with homages to the man. Some may have said it was too much, but Juliet loved it.

“I just feel like his sound completely changed the way music is produced, yno?” She spoke as the two girls sat outside beneath the heaters, the cold London night biting down on them. It was January so they were among the only ones out there, but it was far too busy inside to have a proper conversation. They had found out that the band were due to start at 8:30, and that the venue was actually downstairs and would open at 8.

“No, I totally agree. Not even just the way music is produced, just everything changed with him. I mean look at the way he dressed - he completely challenged convention and everyone loved it.” Juliet spoke, and it was becoming clear that she was a massive David Bowie fan. The girl had great music taste, and while the two of them matched in that respect in many ways, Juliet was a little more into her 70s stuff. It was a relief that it was that way though. Victoria had had too many conversations about Arcade Fire and The Killers, and it was nice to have someone who had a refreshing take and the evidence to back up her arguments from a previous era.

They could hear the remnants of a soundcheck below, and when it had finally dissipated the girls moved to grab one more drink and make their way down the stairs.

The room below was not what they had expected given how David Bowie focussed the bar above was. The floor was wooden as above, the walls brick painted a dark grey with  red curtains hung up by four booths that sat along the far wall. The bar was against the wall that sat beneath the stairs, black and white doodles decorating the wall and ceiling around it, and the stage sat in the corner, matching red curtains hanging behind the performance area, the entire thing looking far too grand to be sitting in the basement of a bar in Shoreditch.

The girls made their way across the room to a free booth, eyes running over the men who were getting ready on the stage, and if Victoria was being honest with herself it was more difficult not to look at them.

“Good evening London, we are The Dangers and this is Uppercut.” *

A thick Californian accent wrapped around the words and the band launched into their first number barely giving the audience time to settle into their stage presence. A fantastic voice paired with a solid baseline, the drummer kicking in heavily ensured the crowd went from being unsure, to dancing and loving the music by the time they had reached the second verse.

The lead singer had starkly ginger hair, obviously styled to look like he had just woken up but it somehow suited him. His black floral shirt sitting under a black leather jacket, rings adorning the fingers that pressed the cable into his bass. The guitarist was blonde with a jaw that could have cut diamonds, his smirk as he watched the crowd erupt for them was undeniably attractive, and he moved across the stage with an energy that they girls could feel from the booth. The drummer, a desperately tanned doe eyed boy who incessantly bit down on his lip, and Victoria was almost scared that he as going to rip it off.

The set was insane. Their music a perfect mixture of ambient and alternative, the front man cocky enough to make the audience love him, and the two girls could already see the makings of a small fan base of girls who were dancing close to the stage.

They finished off the last of their 8 song set with a track called Pressure, a song that perfectly allowed the band to highlight their individual talents. The gravelly vocals and plucky bass line from the front man, who had introduced himself as Andy, the rolling beats from the drummer, Danny and the quite frankly incredible guitar solos from Josh.

The girls could not believe their luck. Not only had they been able to go out on a scout for work, but they had found a band that was absolutely insane. Either Cindy had not listened to this band, or their recordings were terrible, because Victoria couldn’t see a single reason why The Dangers would not be suitable for the record label that they worked for.

They allowed the band to switch with the second band on the set, and watched as they pulled their instruments into the booth that had been reserved for it and Victoria wondered how she was going to play this. When she had been pushing for this she hadn’t realised that she had no idea how to talk to musicians in a professional capacity. What if they thought she was unprofessional or she didn’t ask the right questions?

Swallowing her nerves, the girl took a long sip of her whiskey and coke and stood from the booth, smiling at Juliet who was watching her. The other girl was clearly thinking the same thing, but Victoria was closer to the edge of the booth and therefore to the band.

Victoria swallowed thickly as her heeled boots clicked along the wooden floor, playing nervously with her hair and ensuring red strands fell as she wanted them to over her face before she stepped toward the front man.

“Great set!” She started, smiling as the man's brown eyes met her own, and jesus was he hotter than she had realised. She had thought that it was the stage persona that was doing it, but seeing him close up only highlighted his defining features.

“Thanks sweetheart,” He smirked and she moved to stop him walking away, his eyebrows raised in amusement

“My name’s Victoria, I’m from Fieldworks records. This is Juliet..” She introduced her friend as she stepped next to her and continued, quick to use the confidence she had found before it slipped through her fingers, “We were sent here to scout you tonight, and we think you sounded great!”

“Fuck!” The redhead stepped back slightly from them in shock, and Victoria felt the blonde guitarists eyes on her for a moment before he stepped up.

“What he means is thank you, it’s really great to meet you” the blonde held out his hand and she took it, smiling up at him and laughing slightly at his words.

“I’m Josh, this is Andy” Victoria shook the red heads hand, trying to ignore the way he was looking at her and she glanced over to the drummer as he ran over, “and this is Danny.”

“Nice to meet you all” Juliet smiled, Victoria nodding along before they all slipped into the booth that the girls had been sitting at.

“As I was saying, we think you sounded great and would love to take back a sample of your work to our boss. Do you have any CDs?” Andy stretched back to the booth behind, shirt riding up to show a killer pair of abs and Victoria did everything she could not to look at him. The lead singer exuded the energy of someone that knew how attractive he was, and she wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of catching her staring.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” he spoke, the pet name falling from his lips again and she wondered if he called all women that or if he had just forgotten her name that quickly.

“Thank you.” She smiled, “so why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself?” She asked the question to the group but of course Andy took over, and she let her eyes dart between Josh and Danny with a small smirk on their face that matched her own. They were obviously used to this kind of thing.

“We basically all grew up together, lived on the same block for years in California and ended up going to the same high school. It just came naturally to us to start jammin in Josh’s garage, Danny was already really good at drums and I took up bass because we needed a bass player”

“And because I was already a better guitarist,” Josh chimed in with a cheeky smile on his face, and the girls laughed along with them.

“And how come you’re in England? Bit of a way to travel to play gigs isn’t it?” Juliet spoke, her eyes running over the drummer in a way she hoped wasn’t obvious. His tanned skin, strong arms and that smile…

“Well Andy’s mom and dad own an apartment in Green Park. We were fresh out of college and none of us really knew what we wanted to do so we figured, fuck it.” He threw his hands up, more animated than the girls had expected but the adrenaline must have been high having stepped off stage not twenty minutes before. “Let’s go stay in London for a while, play some gigs, have a go at it yno?”

“We wanted to see if we could make a living off of music before we took normal jobs yno..” Andy spoke, “and Josh would literally not shut up about playing where Arctic Monkeys had in Camden ”

Victoria grinned at the blonde, “you’re playing Dublin Castle?”

His eyes lit up and he sat up a little straighter as he realised that there was someone who was speaking his language. The other boys had similar music tastes, but Josh’s obsession with Arctic Monkeys was more than either of them could handle. He would take any opportunity to talk about how much he respected Alex Turner, and the fact that this pretty girl knew that they had played Dublin Castle…

“Yeah, day after next actually. Wanna come?” The words fell out of his mouth before he could catch them, and she glanced at Juliet before nodding, “sure, we’d love to. Actually it might even be a good idea to invite our manager down to hear you guys play.”

“Excellent,” Danny spoke, leaning back and sipping his beer, eyes running over Juliet like he wanted to fucking devour her. Jesus these boys were about as subtle as a brick to the face.

Andy leaned forward on the table, his eyes glancing at the glass that Victoria’s black painted nails were tapping against before meeting her own, “can I get you another drink, darling?”

Five drinks and two shots of tequila later, the band and the girls had moved back to the bar upstairs, instruments safely locked away for them to pick up in the morning after Andy charmed a barmaid. As much as Victoria hated to admit it, he was really hot. He had unbuttoned more of his shirt to reveal a toned chest, and she was struggling with her promise to herself not to look at him.

They had found a set of couches slightly hidden from the bar which were supposed to be reserved but the person had never showed, and Juliet was sat next to Danny, his head resting on his hand as his arm sat too close to hers to be anything but flirtatious. Victoria couldn’t help but smile, her new friend was obviously into this guy and she wondered exactly how professional they had to be. Sure they shouldn’t be showing up to work the following day with a hangover, but they had stockroom duty the following morning so could hide it. As long as the reports went to plan and they got a meeting with Cindy for the following day, all would be well.

“Do you smoke?” Andy spoke louder than usual, eyeing Josh who was sat on the other side of Victoria and slipping his jacket on.

“Sometimes.. could I pinch a fag?” She spoke, and the redhead laughed, instantly repeating her and mocking her accent.

Josh held out a cigarette for her from behind her, and she grinned as she thanked him. The younger girl was about to ask Juliet if she wanted to join but it was clear that the world no longer existed to them, so caught up in whatever they were talking about.

The evening went as was expected, drinking a little too much, having a little too much fun when Victoria knew that they had work in the morning. It was when Andy had draped his arm around her shoulder and was whispering that they should come back for an after party that she realised that this was probably the time to leave. As much as she would have enjoyed finding out what that after party entailed, she didn’t want to stay out too late and supposed it was frowned upon to go back to the flat of a band who she wanted to sign.

Taking her leave, but still taking their numbers, Victoria smirked at the look on Juliet’s face when she pulled her away from the drummer. The two had spent the entire evening talking to each other. Victoria had only spoken to the older girl when they had gone to the bathroom together and although Juliet was trying to play it cool, it was obvious that she was interested. All the more reason to leave before things got out of control.

They waved goodbye to the boys and went their separate ways, already regretting that last tequila shot.

[who-tf-stole-my-car-radio]

Vessel part 2

Your friend hurried back to the table. “What happened?!” She asked, her expression hungry for details. You simply shrug “he invited me to their next show at some college party, he invited you too .... and I gave him my number” you say with a melancholy tone. Your friends eyes were wide “why the hell do you sound depressed?!” She questioned “why are you not freaking out like me?” She added. “He has a girlfriend” you say taking another drink of your lemonade. “God I wish this had alcohol in it” you say again, mostly to yourself. “Ok he has a girlfriend BFD he can’t like her that much if he asked you for your number” with a satisfied shrug. “Yeah that’s just it, I don’t want to be the reason he leaves her. I mean we literally just met like what? Twenty minutes ago? And who knows how long he’s been with her” you ramble. Your friend shakes her head “listen whatever happens between them is NOT your problem. If he’d leave her for a chick he met twenty minutes ago then clearly their relationship is already trash” she says taking a perky sip of her drink. You look at her blankly for a moment before rolling your eyes “you just like the drama” you retort with an eventual smile. She nods proudly as she swallows her sip “I do! AND I like the drummer so we’re going to that show” she pointedly decides. You chuckle and shake your head. Honestly you were excited to hear and see him again, you really were and it’s not like you guys were gonna make out or anything. You had no plans on doing anything that would jeopardize his current relationship, the two of you were just friends so far. Not even friends , just acquaintances. Being an acquaintance sounded far better than home-wrecking hussy.

“That reminds me” you chime settling the storm of thoughts in your mind. Your friend looked up at you. “Tyler said the drummer, Josh, was looking at you like the entire show” you proclaim readying yourself for the deafening over zealous girl-ish shriek that was sure to be escaping her perfectly glossed lips at any moment. “WHAT?!?!” She yelled, her aura flashed at you like the aftershock of an atom bomb. Her face lit up with excitement and yours winced with the pain of her shriek ringing in your ears. “Sorry I said anything “ you chime but it falls on deaf ears. “ oh my god What will I wear??” She asks her eyes darting off in thought. “Wear two stamps and a saltine for all I care just don’t get your hopes up about the little drummer boy there. Boys in bands aren’t really known for their long healthy relationships, more like short , shameful one night stands” you say “Yeah I don’t care” she replies quickly you smile, of course she doesn’t. You can’t help but feel differently about Tyler , somehow you knew he wasn’t like that. He seemed genuine but you had only just met him so you couldn’t really make a fair call yet. The rest of that day was full of water, sunshine, and lingering thoughts of two boys you hardly knew.

The next day was completely different, weather-wise at least. Dark, heavy clouds hung over your town like a horrendous guilt. And a , what seemed to he never ending , shower of rain fell to the ground turning every home and business in Columbus Ohio into lakefront property. “It’s about time you woke up” your friend smiles as you join her in the living room. She hands you a hot cup of tea , both of you still wore your pajamas which consisted of, cotton shorts and old over sized t shirts . The sound of rain dancing on the large window in your living room made you sleepy again , nothing a huge crack of thunder couldn’t solve though. Your body jolted in response to the loud boom. Your friend simply laughed and took another sip of her, what smelled like, vanilla chamomile tea. “Shut up” you retorted playfully elbowing her in the ribs. You looked at your phone , you forgot you had turned it on silent last night. There was one unread message from a random number. Butterflies took flight against the walls of your stomach.

Tyler.

You hated the fact that you couldn’t help but smile and blush at the thought of him.

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

He has a girlfriend

You chanted to yourself in incantation before refocusing and reading his message.

T: hey it’s me ! I hope you had a good rest of your day yesterday, sorry for the late text, I had to wait till my girlfriend fell asleep to talk to you...

Your heart sank. You felt bad for his girlfriend , it’s not nice of Tyler to go behind her back BUT there are two sides to every story and who knows maybe she’s talking to another dude. Your thoughts flew around your mind like fireflies. You shook your head and watched them scatter out of your ears and disappear into nothing.

Y: hey Tyler! I’m glad to hear from you, so when’s that party?

You decide to completely ignore the fact of his girlfriend and ask about the show instead, you’d like to talk to him more about his relationship because clearly he wasn’t very happy in it but it wasn’t your place to ask.

T: 343 University dr. We play at 7 but we’ll be there around 5 , so does this mean you’re coming?

Y: yeah we’ll be there, my friend would drag me by my hair if I didn’t want to go :) but she won’t have to

T: well that’s good news for your hair, it’s too pretty to be pulled around........... like that anyway

The butterflies made their way all throughout your body. Did he just compliment you? It felt so good to hear him say that, it made you feel like a little giggly school girl with a crush. On the other hand your mind couldn’t stop wondering if he’d said the same to his girlfriend today or who knows maybe there’s other girls. You sighed and slumped down in your seat. Why was this eating you alive? You really honestly didn’t even know him that well. You didn’t know his last name , his favorite color, if he’d ever broken any bones. All you knew was he was a boy in a band , with a beautiful voice and a face to match. You felt the butterflies melt into a warmth as thoughts of him filled your head.

Y: Tyler......

T: I know I’m sorry...I just ... I can’t help it. I’m usually not like this but I just feel pulled towards you...

Somehow you knew exactly what he was trying to say, you felt the same way. The two of you we’re magnetized towards each other. You needed to be in his life one way or another and you just might have to put your better judgement aside and let temptation take over.

Y: I know, it’s okay. You’re really sweet and I appreciate that....I’m really glad we met Tyler

T: I’m glad we did too and I feel like we met for a reason, I have to go rehearse with Josh now , but I’ll talk to you as soon as I can....maybe I can come see you tonight?

Come see you tonight? What does that mean? What would we do? What would he tell his girlfriend? You didn’t know what to say hopefully he would be too busy at rehearsal to have any free time tonight.

Y: sure, if you’re not busy you can stop by, just call me or something, hopefully I’ll still be awake ha ha. If not then I’ll see you at the show .....bye Tyler :)

T: haha okay bye (Y/N)

————————————-

*later that evening*

“So you’re going to let him come over right???” Your friend prys as the two of you walked trough the mall. You rolled your eyes

“How did you even know about that?” You asked swinging your bags as you walked . She looked down “I may have just quickly skimmed through your texts while you were in the shower” she chimed with an innocent smile. You glared at her but couldn’t hold back your laugh.

“You’re so fucking nosy” you retort shoving her gently. She smirks with a slight cock of her head. “I don’t go through your phone” you add . Her face goes blank “yeah well my love life isn’t really as exciting as yours right now, my phones dryer than the Sahara “ she responds with her usual quick wit.

“Well what about Josh, he might like you “ you suggest.

“Yeah he MIGHT and I don’t have his phone number so I can’t talk to him” she argues. “We’ll get it at the party don’t worry” you reassure. She sighs and drops her shoulders. “Yeah and so will every other girl within a mile radius” she retorts. “Hey there were plenty of girls at the water park yelling his name but he only had eyes for you “ you respond , you can tell what you said made her feel slightly better. “Yeah well I guess we’ll see, he is really cute though............I’m totally getting his number” she smiles decidedly. You knew she would, it never takes much coaxing for her to want to get a guys number, usually she didn’t have to ‘get’ them, guys practically through their numbers at her. I’ve gotta hand it to her this time though, Josh is a good looking man.

Just then your phone rings, you look down and see Tyler’s name flashing on the screen. “Oh Shitting hell its him!” You say looking at your friend like a deer in headlights. “Well what are you out of your mind ?? ANSWER IT!” She demands as she grabs your hand making you put your phone against your face.

“Hi Tyler” you say shooing her hand away.

“Hey! I wasn’t sure if you we’re going to answer” he says , you can tell a smile is beaming on his face.

“Yeah sorry my hands are kinda full and I had to dig in my bag for my phone” you lied. Your hands were only carrying one bag, they were hardly full, and your phone was already in your hand as well. You didn’t want Tyler to know you were too nervous to answer right away and your friend had to basically force feed the phone to you

“Oh well, I’m done with rehearsal.....what are you up to?” He asks , he must have JUST got done with rehearsal because you can hear him and who you assume is Josh fumbling with some equipment in the background.

“Oh me and (Y/F/N) are just at the mall, we’ll we’re leaving now we just wanted to pick up some new outfits for...” your voice trails. Shit. You didn’t want him to know you were here getting new clothes for his show , oh Christ (y/n) , make something up QUICK BEFORE-

“For what?” He questions. His voice interrupting your rampant thoughts

Fuck. “Um forrrr ...... a birthday party! Yeah next weekend, her cousins birthday party. It’s gonna be on a boat at the lake so we wanted to get some beach appropriate attire” you say. What a shit-headed fuckin lie. Really? A birthday party? On a boat??? Tyler simply laughed “Birthday party huh? Sounds like a good time” he’s smiling again.”Well I hope you have fun, so.... you wanna get together tonight?” He asks getting right to the point. You pause and look at your friend who nods so hard you could have sworn she was going to slip a disc in her spine .”Uhh aren’t you like really busy? You’re in a band you must have like no free time to hangout with me” you say prolonging your answer. “Well no I don’t have much free time, but I’m freeing up my time...for you” he responds. His words were so sweet but so hard to hear and they made you feel happy and conflicted at the same time. “I’ll bring Josh” he adds

Your friend snatched your phone

“Yes! Let’s hangout ! Our address is 1342 sunfeild st. Why don’t you guys stop over in let’s say.....an hour!” Your friend chimes cheerfully. You can hear Tyler’s voice responding but you can’t make out what he’s saying.

“Awesome see you guys soon!” She says once more before hanging up. You just stand there looking at her with zero expression on your face.

“You’ll thank me later” she remarks tossing you your phone and continuing through the mall.

“Come on slow-poke we gotta get date ready!” She bounces up and down grabbing your hand pulling you along. Honestly you were really really excited to see Tyler again , nervous but excited. What were you going to wear?

—————————

When the two of you finally returned back to your house , your friend made a bee-line for her room , you did the same. You stood hopelessly in front of your closet. “God I have nothing to wear!” You holler to your friend.

“You can borrow something of mine” she offers. You can hear her shuffling through her drawers, she’s probably ripping through her clothes. With a quick pace you made your way to her room.

“What should I wear?” You ask looking through the clothes she’s already tossed aside.

“I dunno what are we going to do? Maybe wear something practical and multipurpose” she suggests. No help . You grab a black pair of ripped skinny jeans and a black tank top that had a red floral pattern . This’ll do. Sauntering back to your room you slip the outfit on and looked at yourself in the mirror. Thank god you and her were basically the same size. Now all that was left was the matter of your hair and makeup. You decided to go with something simple, you didn’t want to look like you were trying to impress him (even though you totally were). You tied your hair up in a ponytail leaving a few strands down in the front. Gently and with effortless precision you put on your eyeliner , it really brings out your eyes and made your cheek bones look nice. Usually that was the only makeup you wore, but tonight you decided to put on some lipstick for good measure, a nice natural blush color. You smile at your reflection, which rarely ever occurred.

“You look great!” Your friends voice fills the air like light pink waves crashing over hot sand, you watch as the waves echo out your bedroom window.

You turn to look at her, she’s wearing a knee length sky blue spaghetti strap dress, It was simple and pretty and fit her frame perfectly. She wore a pair of white doc martens to top off her soft grunge look, her hair was down and barely touched her shoulders.

“You look really nice too, I love that dress” you respond with a smile. Just then there was a knock on the door, you and (Y/F/N) looked at each other before the both of you scurried excitedly to the door. “Oh wait wait WAIT” you proclaim in a hushed yell as you ran into the bathroom. You grabbed your favorite perfume and spritzed a careful amount over your body.

“Ok go go go” you say as you toss the bottle back on the counter. The two of you rush to the door looking each other over one last time before your friend pulls it open. In front of you stands Tyler and Josh , both wearing sweet smiles.

“Hey “ Tyler says looking at you, his smile grew softer and more sincere the longer he looked at you. You picked up on it and blushed letting out a pathetically soft “hi” .

“Come on in!” Your friend says opening the door even wider. The two men step inside looking around as they do.

“This is a pretty nice place, Tyler and I just share an apartment “ Josh says with a soft chuckle.

“This is hardly our place, her parents pay our rent” you say nodding toward your friend. She smiles “yeah, their loaded. So what do you guys wanna do?” She says quickly. Josh laughs at her remark.

“We thought we could go for a walk, maybe get some ice-cream” Tyler says , more to you than the other two.”A walk? It’s like 10pm” your friend says laughing.

“That’s the best time to go” Josh says. “Don’t worry we’ll protect you from robbers” Tyler jokes

You smile, you did every time he looked at you, you couldn’t help it he was so pretty. “Sounds fun “ you chime. “I’m 100% getting blue moon” your friend says grabbing her purse. “Oh you don’t need that, I’ll buy” Josh offers. Your friend looks at you smiling. “My kinda guy” she says jokingly , Josh and Tyler laugh and the four of you head out the door. The night air was crisp and clean and smelled like rain, the ground was still damp , the clouds were still dark but the rain had settled. You could smell it all, you could smell the droplets that hung on the leaves and the wet earthy dirt they fell onto. It was your absolute favorite smell, it reminded you of fall, which was only a few weeks away. The thought of that made your face burn red as you remembered you told him you had a birthday party on a boat to go to in a few weeks not stopping to think that it would be fall in a few weeks. Dumbass. He could probably drive a van through the holes in that story. Josh and your friend trailed slightly behind the two of you, keeping conversation as they did. You heard them both laugh every few seconds and they really seemed to be getting along.”You look really pretty” Tyler speaks forcing your attention on him. “Oh” you smile “Thank you, I couldn’t really find anything to wear so I had to borrow something of hers” you admit with a laugh. “You could have worn a trash bag, you’d still look pretty” he says. His voice was dark and gentle like melted chocolate mixed with blood. His words ripped through you like wind through trees and all you could think about was his girlfriend. “Can I ask you something?” You respond.

“You can ask me anything” he responds his eyes searching the ground. “Why are you so nice to me?” You ask, your voice falls a little. Tyler looks at you and then a passing car steals his gaze.

“When I first seen you, I felt this pressure lift from my shoulders and then I couldn’t take my eyes off you, even if I wanted to I couldn’t. You filled my head and I hadn’t even spoken to you yet. One look and You entranced me..... “ he says softly. “There’s something between us (Y/N) and I need to know what it is” he says again , both of you had stopped walking by now . Josh and your friend were across the street ordering everyone’s ice cream and standing noticeably close. Now that you thought about it so were you and Tyler. “What about your girlfriend..?” You ask, barely able to form words all you could focus on was his perfect lips and enchanting eyes. You were close enough that you could smell his faint cologne pass your nose with every slight gust of wind . Your mention of his girlfriend didn’t seem to phase him at all. “Things with me and her are complicated, our relationship was set up through our parents and it’s just a mess....a forced mess....she doesn’t feel that close to me. I’ve known you for a day and I’ve felt more things with you than I ever have with her” he explains. He was being honest it wasn’t just a show or him telling you what you want to hear. “So why don’t you just break up with her?” You ask again.

“I’ve never broken up with anyone before.... I don’t know how...” he admits. You understood how he felt , you’d never broken up with anyone either , you’ve always been on the receiving end of a bad break up. Just then Josh and your friend returned arms full of ice cream.

“Peanut butter cup just like you like” your friend says handing you a double scoop of the creamy treat stuffed generously into a waffle cone. Waffle cones were amazing. You never understood why anyone got anything else, they were delicious and if your ice cream started to melt it would catch in the diamond shaped waffle divots of the cone and not drip on your clothes. Yummy and practical.

“Thanks” you say taking a refreshing lick. The four of you walked aimlessly around town , talking and laughing the whole way until you eventually wound up back at your house.”Wow I can’t believe how late it is already” Josh says looking at his phone, which prompted you to do the same. “Yeah wow it’s already 1am” you say, which was probably a mistake because saying it out loud made you realize how tired you actually are. Tyler looks at you “Yeah it is late.....but I don’t wanna leave” he admits a smile forms on his sweet face. He looked cute when he was tired. “..you can stay the night if you’d like” you say nervously tugging at the hem of your shirt. Tylers face lit up. “It Is very dangerous to drive while your tired “ your friend says. Josh smiles and looks to Tyler. “I’m game” he says settling back on the couch.”Yeah I guess we can just crash on the couch” Tyler says with a shrug. Your friend quickly intervenes.

“Oh no no no this old couch will kill your back, you can sleep in (Y/N’s) room!” She offers. You freeze. In my room? In the same bed at the same time? “Right (y/n)?” Your friend speaks again, with a perky tone , her eyes grow wide glaring at you for a quick second. “Oh uh yeah totally, these couches are stone” you say trying to act nonchalant.

“Josh and I will probably stay up a while, why don’t you guys head to bed?” Your friend speaks again. Wow she’s really pushing for you two to be together. You laugh at her and roll your eyes.”Yeah cmon Tyler, It’s right down the hall” you say leading him to your room.

He closes the door behind him as the two of you enter. There’s a moment of silence.”You know, I can sleep on the floor if you’re not comfortable with this” he says stuffing his hands nervously in his pockets. It was tempting considering he had a girlfriend already but you couldn’t remember the last time you vacuumed this floor. “No that’s okay, I’m fine with sharing the bed, I wouldn’t ask you to sleep on the floor” you say with a chuckle before yawning. “Wow I really am tired” you add sleepiness tugging at your eye lids.. “Me too” Tyler says stretching . You looked down at what you were wearing. Jeans. Yikes. You can’t sleep in jeans. “Do you want me to leave so you can change?” He asks reaching for the door handle. “Umm Yeah sorta “ you admit shyly. He smiles.

“Just knock when your ready” he says stepping out of the room closing the door gently behind him. You quickly pull your clothes off and toss them in your laundry basket before grabbing light blue pajama shorts that had little red cherries patterned across them, then you grabbed a matching blue tank top , and took off your makeup with some wipes you kept in your drawer. You let your hair down and checked yourself in the mirror before knocking twice on the door.

“I’m done” you chime. Tyler steps back in, his eyes fall down your body and his facial expression softens. “Still pretty” he says brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. Your body warms to his touch. It was so gentle and soft. You look down and smile to yourself.

“Are you gunna change?” You ask realizing he’s wearing jeans too.

“Well I usually just sleep in my boxers” he says not breaking eye contact with you. “That’s fine, whatever’s comfortable” you reply walking over to your bed and sliding in. Tyler starts to undo his belt and he lets his pants fall to his ankles before stepping out of them and pulling his shirt over his head. His body was a wonderful olive tone and he had a thin trail of hair that lead from his belly button to his......you know. Your face flushed as you thought more about his undeniably sexy body that stood before you. He smiled almost like he could hear your thoughts. “I’ll get the light” he says switching it off. Then there was darkness. You felt his body slide in bed next to you, immediately warming you. His smooth skin brushed against yours as he turned on his side to face you. His hand lifted to your face and he stroked your cheek with his thumb gracefully. “This feels......right..” his voice breaks the silence and floats into your ears. “Yeah it does” you admit , he couldn’t see it, but you had a huge smile on your face. Your bedroom window was wide open and it began to rain again outside, you could hear every rain drop splash against the ground and the wind blow gently through the trees. The wind came through the window sending a chill through your room. You got goosebumps and shook slightly. Instantly Tyler wrapped his arm around your side and pulled you into his chest. His delicious cologne still lingering on his body. His warmth and the comfort of his touch had you sleeping almost instantaneously. “Goodnight (Y/N)” he said softly his fingers tracing a pattern on your back. “Goodnight Tyler” you reply tiredly. You wondered what josh and your friend were doing, they must have been asleep or watching a movie because you couldn’t hear them in the living room, you fell asleep trying to decide.

You were jolted awake by Tyler who jumped out of your bed.

“What’s wrong?” You ask as you sat up rubbing your eyes. You could hear him quickly pulling his jeans back on. “Hey you go back to sleep , I just , I have to go” he says pulling his shirt over his head.

“It’s your girlfriend isn’t it?” You question. He sighs and sits on your bed “Yeah she’s called me like 20 times it’s already 10 am......I should go...” he says reluctantly. You nod, you didn’t want him to leave but it really wasn’t up to you. “Okay” you say softly. “Hey...” he says getting closer to you. His fingers gently grab your face and he kisses you passionately. His lips are soft and hungry, he leans over you slightly as if he’s trying to savor every last taste of you, but the two of you battle for power, he wins. His thumb strokes your cheek and He pulls away softly, your face still in his hands , your foreheads rested gently against each other’s. His eyes searched yours for forgiveness

“I’ll text you as soon as I can” he reassures. You nod as he gets off your bed and heads for the door. He offers you one last smile before he disappears down the hall. You fall back on your pillow with an exhausted sigh. His warmth still imprinted on the sheets and his smell still drifting through the air.