#............i am fine bro........so fine wow yeah so fine

[eerna]

jesus. yeah thank god for preaching the truth about arcane season two. i mean it had its moments - really, REALLY good moments, and by hell it looked AMAZING - but holy FUCK. what a terrible time to be a fan of ekko. or mel. or jinx. or vi. or viktor. or ambessa. or sevika. and probably more i'm missing (ISHA!!!).

i completely agree with everything about the zaun vs. piltover situation ... just not happening this season? first with shimmer - listen i am not the biggest fan of the chembarons lol they look nice but their characters are. Fine. but if you're going to hype them up in the second episode make them WORTH something, right? and then if you're going to hype up the new jinxers, make THAT worth something too!! would it have been so hard to have a bunch of zaunites fly into piltover following jinx? i mean, that's what everyone THOUGHT that scene would be? you had sevika LEAVE the council meeting. why don't you have jinx convincing her to help. and ekko's with jinx. why wasn't he reunited with the firelights? you're telling the fucking firelights would leave zaun? no but it's just them i guess. and sevika and other zaunites enter the fray at essentially the same time so you would have to change nothing but whaaaatever who gives a fuck.

SPEAKING. OF. EKKO. WHAT THE HELL? his FINAL scene in this show is him mourning jinx and being completely alone. we can have that scene, OBVIOUSLY (given that jinx dies - or fake-dies - which i have my own problems with) but... can bro get a seat on the council? please? can we have like a scene with him and sevika walking in and he nods at sevika or something. i know people were complaining about it being mostly pilties and just sevika at the council meeting but i LOVE that. genuinely. shows us that progress is going to be slow (wow crazy. arcane having realistic class issues in their show about class issues), but can it not be just sevika? and can ekko get some fucking credit for SAVING PILTOVER? sure sure sure it was jayce and viktor but WHO THREW. THE GODDAMN ZDRIVE. AT VIKTOR'S HEAD? EKKO. jesus sorry i'm just crazy upset about that.

i wish they also didn't just have the council in piltover? if we're being given an independent zaun (ARE WE BEING GIVEN AN INDEPENDENT ZAUN??????????????) can we maybe have meetings in zaun too? one of those cute little transitions behind sevika's head where they're meeting in piltover's council room and then we go to the meeting room in zaun? like fucking what? or maybe zaun isn't fucking independent what were we watching this show for. if you're going to keep zaun as part of piltover and leave that part open can you maybe elaborate more than sevika like... sitting down. im a bitch for subtext but at some point it's not subtext it's being lazy??

and meljay. not sure what else to say here tbh like i don't even love them and i thought they were handled so poorly. at least they had chemistry in season one? the fuck was their reunion in act 3? negative chemistry. jayce is imagining viktor. why does he have more chemistry with viktor. big jayvik fan btw im a big fucking jayvik fan but can it NOT come at the expense of an established ship? porque no los dos? like hello? does meljayvik mean nothing to the writers? if you're going to have shippers putting the JayVik Agenda (which admittedly i think is very real of them) into the show can you COMPROMISE ABOUT IT. like considering mel's lonely ass ending and ekko's lonely ass ending there might be a goddamn pattern here.

wow. speaking of lonely ass endings. JINX. MY GIRL???????? breaking down her "death": we have jinx, safe, on a ledge. and we have vi and warwick about to fucking die. vi is faced with two options: try and save warwick (bring back vander) or go to jinx. vi isn't AWARE that trying to save warwick is going to come at the expense at jinx, but WE do, and the WRITERS do. the option of saving warwick or going to jinx is the SAME FUCKING OPTION as the jinx vs. powder question at the end of season one. does vi try and bring back a dead man (one who is GONE, who represents jinx and vi's past coming back to haunt them) or does vi try and accept her trauma and forge a new future with jinx?

...she chooses vander. like ok. yes. that makes sense given the amount of time vi has had to process that vander is alive. and a wolf. and then dead. and then back. and still a wolf. and then fighting them. and then not fighting them. im not expecting her in that situation to take jinx's hand and move on. but if that's the case can the arcane writers then.. give her time to process? because this isn't GOOD. this isn't good for vi. this isn't good for jinx. also do you know what also isn't good for vi OH MY GOD CAITLIN. CAITLIN ISN'T WHY DID THEY HAVE SEX AFTER JINX WAS LIKE "SORRY SIS GOING TO KILL MYSELF" LIKE HELLO VI YOU HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU LEFT EKKO ON THE BRIDGE WHAT. HELLO. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours.

sorry ok this isn't all my problems with arcane season two but i just realized i've been ranting in your inbox for what's probably over 100 words so maybe i should stop now. sorry bro i may or may not make my own post now mb

NO PROB it's big feelings and opinions time here on eerna dot tumblr~ It's just a terrible time to be a fan of the show methinks. I don't think a single character emerged on the other side of this season by having been done right.

I hated the way the Zaunites refusing to help Piltover was treated like some kind of a dramatic "Well, I guess THEY aren't joining US" scene. Usually we get to see both sides so you don't feel like either side is the main character, but that was such a horrible "You, the viewer, are a Piltie now, and the way Zaunites act will from now on be used as plot twists only" POV. Sevika showed up that way, Jinx and Ekko showed up that way - not as main characters, but as supports to Vi and Cait and Mel and Jayce, the Good Pilties.

"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours. is such a badass quote, bro!!! I have nothing to add, you've said it all, thanks for sharing~

[silverselfshippingchaos]

the way I am so.. so so so down bad for this man..

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪𝘪. (𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳) ⛵️

⤷ summary: miami and monaco. just lando being horribly down bad and y/n being at her wits end. poor oscar just can't escape the train wreck that is two losers with feelings and zero (0) emotional competency .

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 45,790 others

tagged oscarpiastri and landonorris

mclaren sorry to report that the only good thing about miami was the weather! (and the celebrities)

17,492 comments

user1 it's okay admin, you can say the car was shit

mclaren yeah the car was shit

user2 mclaren team is cursed i fear

mclaren alr where my witch baddies at? please unhex us pls pls pls

user3 uhm!!!????

mclaren desperate times desperate measures and all that jazz

user4 normal people: oh no the car is bad. yn: we're cursed for generations to come ☹️

landonorris i didn't get to meet shakira, what's the point of going on living

mclaren there is none! kys

landonorris oh wow

user5 nahhhh she gettin fired 💀

user6 not a single photo with lando's face 😭

user7 boohoo ☺️ OSCAR FANS, THEY BROKE BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️

user6 ok enough

landonorris post me challenge (difficult)

mclaren uh no (: go talk to hr bro we do not careeeeeee

user8 this beef is crazy, yall havent made up yet

user9 DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHY THEYRE BEEFING 😭

oscarpiastri yeah

mclaren hey oscar! great race

oscarpiastri don't ever lie to my face like that again

maxfewtrell gonna build the car myself at this point

user10 i see a podium in our future everyone say thank you max

user11 y/n livestream when 😔

ynusername (;

user11 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

user12 lando and admin flirting again, who could've guessed

user13 ... she told him to kill himself

user14 the enemies to lovers is enemying 🤩

user13 yeah, it's giving enemies to lovers but no lovers only murder

mclaren truth.

user12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HWRE

user15 mclaren, fire everyone and hire y/n as the engineer/ strategist/ driver/ pit crew/ pr

mclaren we winning 🥱

oscarpiastri you'd be the only one finishing cause everyone else would die ☝🏻

mclaren shut the fuck up oscar 🙄

user16 flying cars they said 😔

mclaren how the mighty have fallen

user17 WE THE BEST TEAM ON THE GRIDDDD YUHHH

mclaren i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this

user18 it's been 20 years since i've seen my husband 😞 (admin won't post pictures of lando anymore)

mclaren your husband is ugly as fuck

landonorris what the fuck!

mclaren get off your phone loser

user19 full oscar picture when (i'mbeg ging you please i needg it nowe)

mclaren BAD DOG DOWN OMFG

lilyzneimer i would argue you were the best part of miami

mclaren YOU ARE SO FINE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🤭

oscarpiastri GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAK 🤺

user20 y/n being unprofessional on the team page, who's shocked

mclaren and the world kept spinning

user21 we all know who was really shit here (looking at you lando)

mclaren it's not funny when you do it.

landonorris when she defends you 🥴

mclaren i'm telling a trusted adult danielricciardo

danielricciardo what the fuck makes you think i can be trusted

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

would you like to join? yes or no

now loading...

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

The image flickered onto the screen as the broadcast began. Lando, clothed comfortably in sweats, a cap, and his streaming headphones, looked briefly off camera to where his guests sat waiting to be introduced.

He glanced up at Streamlabs and was shocked to see he had upwards of 30,000 viewers. He had only just started the stream and many people had likely not even gotten the Twitch notification yet. He shook off his shock and plastered on his usual smirk.

Everything is fine. I am totally and completely fine.

"Welcome, welcome. How are you all doing today? There's a lot of people here already. What's the special occasion guys?" He joked, being met with a scoff from the girl to his left.

Everything is not fine at all.

Lando almost never felt nervous when he would stream. After all, he was just playing game with his friends, the chat comments streaming through at a speed he could barely read. Even then, being in Formula One for so long meant he was used to being watched, his every little move being observed nearly constantly since his debut in 2019.

And yet all it took was her presence and suddenly he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating at a mile a minute- honestly you would think he were racing. How could he be expected to be funny and charming when she was here. She never seemed to struggle much in the department. It was almost entirely natural for her. Being perfect was like breathing air to Y/n he suspected.

As he watched the chat messages stream past even quicker on his monitor, he finally caught Oscar's gaze out of the corner of his eye. The younger man quirked a brow at him. What's your problem? His teammate seemed to say. He ignored him. Stupid Oscar and his stupid opinions and his stupid, uncomplicated love life. Lando envied the Australian most days, but now he just wanted to punch him straight in the jaw.

"Alright, it seems like most people are here already, so I'll just get started. I'm sure you're all wondering who my special guests are. The suspense must be killing you surely," He teased his audience. He ignored the completely accurate guesses in his chat.

Was he so predictable that it could be assumed it was either his teammate, Y/n, or Max were his special guests? Or was this a more unfortunate warning sign that he was just plain old boring.

"Seems like most people in chat were smart enough to figure it out! Please give a warm welcome to my guests! The lovely, stunning, awe-inspiring Y/n!" He cheered as the girl groaned, rolling her chair forward so she was behind him and within the frame of the camera.

"Oh and also Oscar's here," Lando added boredly, voice almost entirely monotone. Oscar scoffed loudly and he shot into frame kicking Lando's chair roughly, almost knocking him over and startling a laugh out of the girl behind them.

"Your an asshole mate," Oscar scoffed. Lando didn't hear him. The melodic laughing in his ear from Y/n was quite frankly the only sound his brain could process.

Who knew a laugh could sound so beautiful.

Who knew I could be so god damn embarrassing, Lando thought miserably.

"Guys do you see what I have to put up with!? How I get any shit done around here is a wonder," Y/n scoffed, "Anyways, welcome everybody, this is my stream now." Lando squawked indignantly.

"Excuse you, your in my home!"

"Yeah, unfortunately," she muttered with an eye roll and Oscar laughed.

"You should be grateful! Although these aren't the circumstances I was hoping to have you here under for the first time," Lando said with a completely unsubtle wink.

Y/n grimaced and Oscar doubled over with the force of his laughter.

"Viewers I am so sorry, please leave now, I have no way to muzzle him and apparently I can't sensor him," Y/n scowled.

"I fear he might enjoy that," Oscar muttered with a shake of his head.

Oh you motherfucker, Lando thought. Talk about subtle.

"If it was you, I probably would," Lando said to the girl and she planted her palm into the center of his face and shoved him lightly.

"Oh gross, cooties or STDs or whatever it is you men carry," Y/n shook her hands off and fake gagged.

"EXCUSE ME!" Lando shouted as Oscar nearly fell out of his chair.

"You're excused!"

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

Y/n was holding on to her sanity by a thread. Or whatever was smaller than a thread... a hair or something. They had been answering fan questions for nearly 15 minutes already and Lando had decided today would be the day he would do nothing but flirt with her incessantly. He was like a child with a question or dog with a bone; He wouldn't let it the fuck go.

The sound of text-to-speech beginning dragged Y/n out of her thought spiral.

"Lando, what is your favorite video you've ever filmed?" The question asked.

Oh brother, Y/n thought. She looked at Oscar and he only laughed. How helpful.

"Probably the water TikTok challenge," Oscar hummed in agreeance.

"Why?" Y/n asked in confusion. She realized belatedly that asking Lando anything right now was probably a bad idea. She had set herself up this time.

"I don't know, I'm just a personal fan of anything that involves your hands in my hair," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Her stomach flipped as she looked at his eyes. How could such a stupid, stupid man have such nice eyes (and lips, and teeth, and-).

"Well that's interesting," She smirked back, leaning her body toward him, ignoring the way she was blushing down to her chest. Her ears felt hot. It was hard to focus when she felt like she was burning alive, an unfortunate side effect that seemed to come with the irritating Brit in front of her.

"That was my favorite too," she added and Lando's eyes widened. Oscar looked at her in confusion over Lando's head.

"Really?" Lando asked, suprise clear in his voice. His smirk fell away for only a moment, but it was long enough for Y/n to notice.

Poor little Lando Norris, she thought. A bit too easy to read, this one.

"Yep," she grinned, before letting her face fall. "I'm a big fan of anything that means I can drown you." She responded in a monotone voice. Oscar cackled. The poor guy had hardly been asked any questions. Y/n found she didn't feel too bad anyway. The asshole was enjoying her suffering far too much.

Y/n knew the chat was going wild at their interactions, but she didn't really find herself caring. Maybe this was a bad look from a PR stand point, but then again didn't they always say "any press is good press."

Y/n wondered if the idiots who said that had ever had an inappropriate attraction to their asshole of a coworker, who just so happened to be public figure with fans who were becoming more aware of the tension with every day that interacted.

Probably fucking not.

Y/n watched as Lando's faux upset face cracked into a smile as he began to laugh heartily. She couldn't help but smile. Y/n was finding it hard to hold onto whatever grudge she had before. Maybe Lando Norris and his perfect smile, and his stupid jokes and his charming attitude weren't all that bad. Maybe, just maybe.

But they had absolutely no affect on her. None at all.

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 38,924 others

tagged landonorris

ynusername monaco post-gp (help me this guy is stalking me i can't get rid of him help hel

11,209 comments

user22 damn he took out my girl mid-sentence 😔

user23 Y/N POSTED LANDO?? AM I DREAMING?? AM I HAVING A STROKE??? OH GOD AM I DEAD

user24 girl calm the fuck down

user25 DOES THIS MEAN THE BEEF IS OVER

ynusername yes! (he has a gun to my head)

user26 LANY/N SHIPPERS WE RISE ONCE MORE

user27 get it together, they've posted together ONCE

user28 is lany/n in the room with us

user29 "lando and y/n getting along isn't real, it can't hurt you!" OH REALLY

landonorris i had other plans but i cancelled them to be your tour guide, you're welcome

ynusername me when i fucking lie

oscarpiastri do my eyes decieve me

ynusername shut up oscar

landonorris yeah shut up oscar

user30 couples that fight their friend together, stay together

ynusername i can and will block you 😃

user30 oh.

oscarpiastri no it's fine i didn't want to be invited

oscarpiastri i totally hate the ocean, it's not like i surf or anything

oscarpiastri looks boring, would've hated to go on a boat

landonorris other than the fact that i lost my flip flop in the ocean, it was fun i guess

user31 good job lando this came off exactly as nonchalant as you hoped king

ynusername HAHA LOSER YOU LOST YOUR SHOE

oscarpiastri I LOST SOMETHING ONCE 😞

user32 close enough, welcome back brocedes

ynusername literally what is the correlation here

user32 idk leave me alone

user33 um so this is actually insane

user34 i screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops because they thought i was being murdered

user35 can you be normal

user36 this might be the first original experience

user35 no, not original, just embarrassing

user37 i want to be excited about this but it feels so sinister

ynusername good, it should be

maxfewtrell never in my 23 years of living could i have expected this (lando messaged me to tell me what he was doing today)

user38 posting a comment is optional

maxfewtrell i have fomo, can i live

user39 lany/n shippers all around the world cheered

user40 oh you different friend!

user41 onto something ❌ on something ✅

user42 and the crowd is... the crowd is leaving??

user43 my crew lets go

user44 "war is over" we all say in unison

oscarpiastri not likely 💀

user23 HELLO OMFHADFSLJ

danielricciardo oh so you can hang out with him in monaco but not with me

ynusername sorry babygirl 😔 i didn't mean to abandon you

danielricciardo ew never fucking mind

maxverstappen1 i live in monaco too! hope this helps

ynusername i knew that already! hope this helps

maxverstappen1 oh.

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

ynusername posted to story!

(caption: he won't leave me alone, this is sick)

17,822 replies

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

landonorris posted to story!

(caption: she's trying to convince me it's cold out... girl no it is not)

24,006 replies

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK 5 MILLION YEARS TO BE UPDATED!! i am hoping to be more consistent moving forward, but my schedule is a bit of a mess with school. hopefully i'll be able to get some requests fulfilled soon as well though!

most importantly, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic!! the amount of comments, asks, and dms asking about updates was staggering and it makes me so happy that you all like to so much (: receiving such positive feedback for this fic has honestly rejuvenated my love for writing so much, and i can't express how much the support means to me.

please keep leaving comments and dms with your thoughts, i love reading them <3 hope u enjoyed!

-

𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666

[milo-is-rambling]

My mother will really just say things to me that hurt my feelings and then when I get upset about it she will say things like "you have absolutely no empathy for me"

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : Let the silly season begin againn~

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 15 | Next >

mclaren

liked by landonorris, zakbrown, Ln4 and others

tagged @/landonorris and @/zakbrown

mclaren What a night with the Mclaren Family! To a successful first half of the season 🎉

landonorris Now that’s how a team celebrates!

mclaren y’know it DJ!

user1 Mclaren is showing the grid the best driver pair 💪

user2 Oscar is monstrous even just on his 2nd year 😮‍💨

user3 where is Oscar??!! he's not in any of these pics

user4 you are so right! why are they celebrating without Oscar??

user5 Oscar’s in Aus with the other drivers and Y/N

user6 Dude Oscar should really try to fit in with the team better

user7 Ik… dude is not making himself look good by skipping team gatherings

user8 jumping into conclusions there bud

user7 Am I tho? What? like mclaren threw a party without telling Oscar?? their own driver??

user8 I wouldn’t move past it them … Ehem what ever happened with Danny Ric? yeah exactly

user9 Bro Piastri really chose to be with other drivers than show support to the team who gave him a seat and a job 🤡

user10 Dude just won a race and decided he’s above everyone else

user11 Oscar is starting to piss me off. He should be supporting Lando and the team inside and outside the track. He’s just plain selfish

user12 why is everyone suddenly going ham on Oscar’s absence??? So what if he missed a team party? do y’all expect him to fly across half the world to kiss ass. Y’all need better things to do.

user13 Nah dude, I love Osc but they do have a point. He should show some appreciation the team who gave him a car.

*Incoming call from Mavy (Mclaren PR)

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*Incoming call from Mavy (Mclaren PR)

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*Incoming call from Mavy ( Mclaren PR)

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*Turn on Do not Disturb?

* Do not Disturb is enabled

f1news

f1news Is the entire grid in Australia??? Look at all of them in suits 😮‍💨 As it turns out Oscar’s “party” tweet was not a joke at all!

User1 Wow just what did Oscar do to make them all come??

User2 Is that lewis?? wait is that SEB VETTEL?!!

user3 IK im freaking out too!!

user4 Ohoho I smell dramaaaa

user5 Hmm no Lando?? or Zak?? or any papaya??

user6 Well John, Osc’s engineer is there

user5 ok fine one papaya

user6 What tf is going on??? Luv to see it tho

user7 Not oscar turning the tables at McLaren.

user8 He’s so unhinged! Honestly only he can pull something so crazy as this.

user9 i heard other people are attending not just drivers.

user10 yeah i heard that too! apparently its turning into smth quite big and other singers and celebs are attending

user11 lmao thank Y/N’s influence

Y/N. 5m

story replies

oscarpiastri Can’t wait to see you on stage

Y/N. Well you do like bragging that I’m yours

oscarpiastri guilty as charged, baby. They can look but at the end of the day you are mine

Y/N. mhm all yours Luv.

oscarpiastri Thank you for doing this my dear… i know it was sudden for me to ask you to perform

Y/N. are you kidding?? I’m so down to help you Baby. Show them youre no push over!

oscarpiastri Y’know i could get fired for this right

Y/N. Well~ i could earn for the both us luv. 😉

oscarpiastri harharhar . ily you gremlin

Y/N. Ily more! I’ll stay by you through everything. thats a promise.

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N., charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, and others

oscarpiastri No. This is how you celebrate.

comments are disabled

*incoming call from Zak Brown

Pick up or Decline

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[petew21-blog]

Friends with benefits

Two long time friends Trent and Brett. A classic story. Met in kindergarten and have been friends since. Grew up together. Spent their holidays together. Graduated together. But then stopped seeing each other as often. Why? Because adult life ain't easy. Brett had to find a job while Trent got into college, graduated and on top of that became a fitness influencer. Brett started his Twitch account and became a gamer, which he had time for, cause how he was constantly doing a different job, depending on what he could find. But both of them always took some time off for a beer with their buddy.

This is Trent

Although he doesn't appear like that, he is a 24 year old male with young looks

On the other hand Brett is also young, but his looks are a bit more mature. Maybe it's because of all the hair

This is Brett

So hairy.

Normal guys, right? Well something was about to change very soon

Friday, August 2nd, 5 PM

Brett:"Hey, dude. Wanna grab a beer later tonight?"

Trent:"Yeah, sure. I am down. Is 8:30 ok? I gotta finish a video"

Brett:"Oh yeah, totally fine. See you then"

Friday, August 2nd, sports bar, 8:33 PM

At the bar Brett waits patiently, only his leg is slightly shaking. Trent comes in through the door. It's kinda funny, cause Trent used to be really insecure and not confident. Now he looks basically like a god. But still, he has this cute shy looking guy whose face doesnt match his body and the fact that he's 24. Brett was kinds jealous, most of the people that didn't know him always thought he was older because of his looks. Trent had the opposite problem. Always had to show ID whenever he went. Yet Brett was probably more jealous about his life in general. He finished school, took great care of his body, which now could help him hook up with anyone he would set his mind to.

Brett:"Hey, maaaan. How are you doing?"

Trent:"Heyyy. Yeah good. You know, single influencer life, haha"

Brett:"The ladies must be driving you crazy"

Trent:"If only it were just ladies. Haha. You should see the messages some of these gay dudes keep sending me. It's insane"

Brett:"You tell me. They always send random shits to my chats while playing. But it's mostly dumb kids."

Trent:"I think we should find you a date for tonight"

Brett:"Nahhh, fuck it. I'm not in the mood. I just wanna chat with my bro."

After a few beers

Brett:"Shut up, you did not!"

Trent:"I swear. She came on to me without a word."

Brett:"So what did you do?"

Trent:"You think I put up a fight? Haha"

Brett:"Maaaan. I want this stuff to happen to me to. That's so hot"

Trent:"Come with me to the gym then, I bet more chicks woukd be into you if you would gain some muscles"

Brett:"You calling me fat?"

Trent:"No, just saying that all that body hair would be good to match with a good body. You're just a walking gorilla right now"

Brett:"Oh shut up twink! Haha"

They finished their drinks, said their goodbyes and went home.

Brett felt amazing. He really needed to get a beer with his best friend. He came back home, sat behind his computer and searched Dark web. He already knew what he was looking for. He wanted to mess with Trent. Just a another one of his pranks. All he needed was Trent's personal item. He found the body swapping website. He read the rules and conditions and filled out his and Trents name. The only next step he had to follow was to go to sleep. And so he did. Only taking off his shirt in the process and collapsing on the bed. Not even brushing his teeth

Brett woke up feeling better than ever. He was used to have a hangover by now, but today he felt great. He opened his eyes and immediately noticed the different sheets. He looked around. This is Trent's place.

Brett:"Trent?" he said, but he heard Trent's voice.

He turned around to get up

His body. He has a different body

Brett:"Holy shit. It worked" he said amused. He looked down at his now soft chest. He got up

Brett:"Oh wow. getting up is so different when you have these hard muscles"

He went to the nearest mirror. And there he was. Trent in his glory. Brett was so happy right now. His prank worked. He is now inside of his best friends body. And the pranks probably won't stop there. Now he can mess with him all he wants. But not now.

He looked from top to bottom how tall and slim his body was. "Almost no hair anywhere. Lucky guy"

He took Trent's phone and snapped a photo to send it to Trent in his body. He knew it would take a while for Trent to wake up so he proceeded in his exploration.

He felt his curly hair. "How come you don't even have widow's peak? So unfair" He traced his jawline, now with tiny baby hair that Brett wouldn't even call a beard. But his sight was now caught by those nice Calvin Klein's. He looked around as if there was someone in the room with him who would judge him. He pulled on the waistband

Brett:"Just as I thought. Also shaved" he grabbed his new dick, that was getting harder and harder by the second, when suddenly his phone received a notification. he let go of his dick

It was Trent. Brett:"Haha, this is gonna be good"

There was a photo of Brett's body, observing his hairy armpits in shock

Trent in Brett's body:"Hey. Got any idea why I am a gorilla now? And why that gorilla looks exactly like you?"

Brett:"Surpriseee. And fuck you"

Trent:"So this is your doing?"

Brett:"Yeah, I kinda wanted to prank you somehow for all the pranks and the gorilla jokes. Joke's on you ape man"

Trent:"Fuck you. So this is reversible?"

Brett:"Sure, man. No worries. We'll meet tonight at the bar again and chat how our day went?"

Trent:"I don't know how to feel about this, bro"

Brett:"Just try enjoying being another person"

Trent:"Do you realise there are some no go things including intimate stuff and hygiene?"

Brett:"Sure I do. I'm already holding your dick in YOUR hands right now"

Trent:"Dude! Not cool. I meant more stuff like shitting etc. But yeah, this too."

Brett:"I gotta say Trent. You have a very nice dick"

Trent:"I'll comment on your size when I find it in the bushes I guess. Have you never heard of trimming?"

Brett:"Keeping it natural, baby face"

Trent:"Fine, let's see each other tonight at 8, ok?"

Brett:"Enjoyyy" Hangs up

Trent:"Jesus, this guy. I hope he doesn't fuck up something or someone"

Starts observing himself. "I must say, It feels good to look like a mature man and not a teenager. All of this hair. And the moustache is hot too. I could never grow this thing"

Trent looked down and had a mischievous thought. "Well, Brett. Since you have already held my dick, I think it's time to step it up. Gonna see if you can last longer than I do" Trent said with a smile and whipped out his new hard hairy dick

Saturday August the 3rd, bar, 8:04 PM

Brett is sitting amused in the bar, eating chips on the table and drinking beer. Winking at the ladies looking at his direction.

A waitress came by his table:"Want another?"

Brett noticed his old incoming body:"Sure, and another one for my friend who just arrived. Thank you, sweetheart" he said as his flirtatious look almost seduced the local waitress

Trent:"You need to stop!"

Brett:"What? I was just flirting"

Trent:"Not that. Stop eating those chips. God knows how many calories you ate already"

Brett:"So you don't mind that I was flirting with her?"

Trent:"Nah, I don't care. I jerked off your dick for like the fifth time half an hour ago"

Brett:"What? You beast. I would have never expected that. Cool. You have a really good dick to jerk off too. I didn't expect to shoot so far tho. Made a bit of a mess"

A couple off bikers started eavesdropping to their conversation and turning heads

Trent:"You might want to quiet down, or we're gonna get beaten up for mistakenly speaking like gay guys"

Brett:"But you gotta admit that my body is not so bad, right? All the hair and everything. You like it"

Trent:"It's not bad, but I prefer being in my own body. I'm used to it."

Brett:"Ok, I'll pretend I didn't hear the part before about masturbation. But what do you say? We didn't even have enough time to see what the life is like in our new bodies. It's only been a day"

Trent:"And your point is?"

Brett:"Let's stay swapped for a while. We can swap back anytime we want. It's reversible. We know almost everything about each other, so pretending to be the other one will be easy. You'll just teach me your workout routine, I'll show you... what games to play and how to set up a livestream and we'll figure it out"

Trent:"Livestream? That's all you got?"

Brett:"Come on, man. We got nothing to loose"

Trent:"I don't know man. It's gonna be complicated. I agreed to leave for a few weeks to work at one of our gym branches in another city. And now you'll be the one that has to go. I think now is not the best time"

Brett:"So? I can update you about everything. We can chat all the time. We can call. And I got nothing to do. Actually, you might need to find some job for those few weeks. And there's never gonna be a better time then now. We're single, ready to mingle. So let's enjoy that month"

Trent:"You wanna stay swapped the whole tíme I'm gone?"

Brett:"Yeah, I'll be a fitness instructor/viral star and you'll ne enjoying my chill life"

Trent:"Chill life. Man, you won't even recognise your life when we'll swap back"

Brett:"So you agree?"

Trent:"Yeah, what the hell. I'll be a gorilla for a month"

Brett:"Deal. Now, let's see if you'll have a better game in finding a hookup then me"

Sunday, August 4th

Brett sends a text to Trent:"Why do I feel like my body still hasn't gone through puberty?"

Trent:"Piss off. Yours looks like it went trough yours several times."

Brett:"Nah, gotta be honest. I'm really enjoying this lean figure and hairless body"

Trent:"And my dick..."

Brett:"Haha, yeah and your dick. How are you doing in my body?"

Trent:"Feels pretty weird to be so hairy, but gotta admit it's a nice change. Like... feeling so manly"

Brett:"Yeah, but tip for that hairy stomach. Don't cum on it. It's really irritating to get cum from it"

Trent:"Never had the issue in my body, so yeah. Thanks for the tip"

Brett:"No problem. I had to try it out in yours haha"

Trent:"Doesn't this feel kinda gay to you? All the dick and jerk off talk. Appreciating each other's bodies"

Brett:"Nah. We're exploring, man. Who knows if we ever get that chance. Gotta enjoy it"

Wednesday August 7th

Trent:"How are you settling in?"

Brett:"Yeah. Pretty great. I just jerked off to some porn"

Trent:"Ew. I mean the appartement"

Brett:"Whooops. Sorry. Right. Yeah it's nice. Very clean. Very modern"

Trent:"It's yours only for a month so don't destroy anything there"

Brett:"It's kinda poetic right. New appartement, new body, new job"

Trent:"I don't see anything poetic about me playing games in front of a camera"

Brett;"Dude you have to. My fans are gonna wonder what happened to me"

Trent:"Fine. I'll log in tonight. By the way. Dude your feet smell so much when you work out."

Brett:"Work out? You took my body to the gym?

Trent:"Yeah. I had to show off these bushes somewhere, right?"

Brett:"Ahhh thanks man. Looking good"

Trent:"And I think oke girl was checking you... me out"

Brett:"If you can score than go for it. I'm actually late for a date. Or... how do you call it if you're just gonna have dinner and fuck?"

Trent:"Standard hook up man. Please be safe. Wear a condom. And watch our foe those carbs, man."

Brett:"Sure thing, bye"

Monday, August 12 th

Brett:"Dude do you like ever have to shave your face?"

Trent:"Sure I do. I just don't have to do it so often as you. Btw can I please shave off this moustache?"

Brett:"Absolutely not. You'll learn to love it and appreciate it. Just like I will your baby face"

Saturday, August 17th

Brett:"I have to admit I really love showing off your muscles man. I have been doing it constantly at every occassion. So many people turn their heads to take a peak"

Trent:"Yeah I get it. It helps with the confidence a bit"

Brett:"A bit? I feel like I can beat any fucker whk crosses me"

Trent:"Brett, please don't beat anyone in my body"

Brett:"Just kidding, man. How have you been"

Trent:"Well I tried being consistent with the gym. I think your body is doing pretty well"

Brett:"Daaaamn bro. I look good. You really do take care of my body really well"

Trent:"I was actually thinking I could offer this for money. Swapping with people, doing their routines and then swap back. But that's a talk for another time after we swap back"

Brett:"Yeha, sure. Cool idea. Anyway... how was the streaming?"

Trent:"I don't know, man. I think they are desperste for me to say your catchphrases, but they are so cringe."

Brett:"Nah, you have to do that. That's how you get into Tiktoks and become viral"

Trent:"Honestly. I can't wait to get back to my body and to my life back. So we will swap on September 2nd?

Brett:"Yeah. I suppose. Depends how the work will be etc. Anyway I gotta go man. Talk soon"

Trent to himself:"It feels like he's avoiding me with amswering more and more. Trent rubbed his hairy chest, recalling his sweet soft pecs that he missed.

Thursday, August 22nd

Trent:"Hey, man. How is it going?"

Friday, August 23rd

Trent:"Hey. I just wanna know if you're ok. I just wanna talk about the reversal."

Saturday:"please call me back as soon as possible"

Sunday, August 25th

Brett:"I'm ok"

Trent:"What the hell happened?"

Brett:"Nothing I just felt like I needed a break from phone and that stuff"

Trent:"Brett you didn't answer the phone for 4 days"

Brett:"Ok, I was avoiding you, cause I kinda fucked up and was afraid to tell you"

Trent:'What did you do? Is my body ok?"

Brett:"Yeah your body is unharmed. Nothing that bad. We just had a party in the appartement. Broke the TV and... I had unprotected sex with one girl. She didn't know if she was pregnant or not. So I was waiting. And congrats. You're not gonna be a dad"

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett:"I know. I'm so sorry. Won't happen again. Promise. I just got drunk once and it led to this. I'll be good now"

Trent:"Please, don't do anything anymore. I want to switch back"

Brett:"Nah man. We still gotta week to finish. You said until September 2nd."

Trent:"I didn't know you'd do something like this"

Brett:"Please Trent. I'm begging you. Just that one week"

Trent:"Fine. But don't do anything else!"

Sunday, September 1st

Brett:"Hey. Are you packed yet?"

Trent:"Hey. Not really. I planned on packing tommorow. You can come and help if you got time"

Brett:"Sure. I'll come by"

Monday, September 2nd

Trent arrives to the appartement. Brett is on the couch playing video games

The TV is new and there is a PlayStation on the table

Trent:"You didn't tell me you got back into gaming and that you bought all this."

Brett:"Yeha, I missed it. I thought to myself that you'd like it too. So I bought it. By the way. You should see how the fans dig it"

Trent:"Fans? You're live streaming in my body?"

Brett:"Yeah. The gamers are so into it when I'm flexing in the spare time. I even got a viral Tiktok already!"

Trent:"I think we should swap back, Brett. My life is out of your control now."

Brett:"I'm just using all the goods, man. You don't like my body anymore?"

Trent:"Stop changing the subject. I want to swap back"

Brett:"Ok... but on one condition"

Trent:"You want money?"

Brett;"Nah I want to have sex with my body. I want to have sex with you."

Trent:"You have lost your mind"

Brett:"Oh come on. Admit it, that you thought about it. Who gets the chance to fuck their body? To watch their body in the most animalistic moments from somebody else eyes?" Brett flexes his biceps to let Brett watch

Trent:"Brett..."

Brett stands up and goes towards Trent

Brett:"You know you want to kids thus face. To suck this hard dick" he says holding tightly his hardening bulge

Trent:"I... I do. I want to suck my dick"

Brett:"Atta boy"

They begin making out. The fast movements heading towards the bedroom could be described as chaotic, but for them it was a dance of passion. Brett was ripping his old clothes from his old body was all over his body, kissing his neck. Sucking each part of his skin

The kissed even more

Brett began to be more dominant. He gripped Trent's now receding hairline and pushed him down to suck his dick. Trent was choking. But did his best to swallow most of the shaft he now had. He had his dick in his mouth. He couldn't believe it. He is straight and he is sure of that. But this is absolutely different

Brett took his old body by the neck, choking him. "Say you love being in my body"

Trent:"Brett I can't breathe"

Brett:"Fine, let's do this the hard way"

He turned him around. Trent now on all fours. He knew what was coming, but he wasn't ready

Brett spit in his hand and spread it all over the head od his dick. Ready to penetrate his old hairy hole

Trent:"Brett wait... I... Ahhhhhhhh". Trent screamed in pain

Brett:"Yeah. Sorry about that. I'm just so horny. I love your body, Trent. I love every inch od it. Admit you like mine"

Trent:"Brett, please slow down"

Brett:"Naaah, you'll get used to it in a sex"

Trent:"Please, get lube or something"

Brett spit again to where his dick was penetrating Trent's ass. Brett:"Should do it"

Trent was still in pain, but now a new feeling was making him feel better. The pain was now... pleasant? He wanted to feel more. With every thrust from Brett. He felt like shitting himself and cumming at the same time

Brett:"Admit it. Admit you love being in my body" he sped up. Thrusting painfully.

Trent:"Yeah.... yes..."

Brett:"Louder"

Trent:"I do... I love your body. I love being you"

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm gonna cum. Turn around. I want to cum on your chest"

Trent turned around. He could feel cum leaking from his dick. And now he saw his old face like he never did before. Brett was so into it. His face was full of lust, rage and mischief.

Brett:"Ahhhh. I'm cumming!"

The cum shot all over Trent. Not only on his chest, but also on his mouth and face

Trent watched in awe what just happened.

Brett:"Whew. That was a ride wasn't it? First gay sex. Am I right?"

Trent:"Brett... I?"

Brett:"Oh sorry. I have to catch my breath. You look so funny with my cum all over you. Haha. By the way. I'm glad you love your new body. You get to keep it"

Trent:"Brett, you said we would swap"

Brett:"Yeah I did. That's true. But after this little 'cum over your face' and 'dick in your ass' we made it permanent"

Trent watched in shock as his old body was still standing on top of him. Breathing rapidly and laughing.

Several months later

Hi my name is Brett. Welcome to my only fans channel. If you got any hairy request, hit me up

Brett in Trent's body:"Well this is just pathetic. Man, I knew you'd crumble. But this just seems you lost your mind"

Trent's massive colleague came next to him:"Hey, bro. What are you looking at?"

Brett:"Just looking how one of my friends threw away their life, kinda sad. But whatever. Their life, not mine"

Friend:"Hey, wanna grab a beer later this evening?"

Brett scanned his friend from top to bottom and smiled:"Sure thing. Be there at eight"

Brett thought about switching it up a little. That body would be amazing. But then he turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. And flexed

Brett:"Nah. I'm Trent. And I'm keeping this body"

A request from messages (another one who waited for a LONG time, sorry guys) for @swappwas

Hope you like it :)

P.S. written late at night on a phone with a very irritating autocorrect, so please excuse the mistakes

[zombvic]

SUPER RICH KIDS (marc guiu x reader) pt.2 here

summary : in which fans notice a familiar footballer in the likes of their favorite "super (humble) rich kid"

face claim : wolfiecindy (+ lissie mackintosh)

notes : frank ocean come back !!!!!!!!! might make this a series... this idea came to me in a dream so it might be a lil dumb. gave them a family name and made the dads face claim toto wolff (lmfao) bcs its easier so js ignore that !!! translated spanish is questionable..

pairings : marc guiu x fem!famous!reader

y/n ramsay, the only daughter of peter ramsay, a man considered to be one of the most influential men in the world, the owner of mercedes. not just the formula one team, the whole ass car brand. he is considered a self-made multi billionaire and single dad of two. as a daughter of a man with such high status, it came with exposure. y/n had her own little fandom, girls and boys who admired her beauty, lifestyle and enjoyed her personality. the girl was beloved by many, even celebrities found her videos and instagram posts entertaining. she had a natural charm that drew people in, and amongst those people there was a certain footballer, a certain teammate of her brother known as the one and only, marc guiu.

Liked by judebellingham, marcguiu9 & 7,562,005 others.

ynramsay monaco nights

View all 11,596 comments.

user rawrwrrwrwrwrrr

user HERMOSA

nateramsay wtf without me ?

- ynramsay yeah!!! loser..

user marc and jude in the likes lmao

- user i need to see nates reaction

user + 1000000 aura for her beauty

user idk whats prettier, the view or you

user felt the aura way back in december

judebellingham what a view 😍😍

- user shes not picking u jude (visca el barca!!)

- user marc fight back ???

liked by marcguiu9

Liked by judebellingham, marcguiu9 & 6,452,889 others.

ynramsay read the spanish love deception and now im here

View all 10,885 comments.

judebellingham madrid is better smh..

- ynramsay visca el barca bitch

peteramsay wow i look good

nateramsay where am i ???

- ynramsay dw youll get a personal post ig

marcguiu9 linda 😻 (pretty)

- nateramsay yo marc.. ¿qué carajo? 😁 (what the fuck)

- hctorforrt_ eres marc bastante idiota (you're pretty stupid marc)

Liked by hctorrforrt_, marcguiu9 & 8,222,258 others.

ynramsay @nateramsay am i doing this right ???

View all 8,368 comments.

nateramsay eh.. could be worse

user okay guys.. y/n & hector OR y/n & marc..

- user marc & y/n definetly

- user nuh uh hector and y/n would make a cute couple

- user neither???? guys omg leave them alone

user barca girls stay on top

marcguiu9 the team's lucky charm !!

- user bros down BAD

- user - 10,000 aura for simping

Liked by ynramsay, peteramsay & 4,005,347 others.

marcguiu9 VAMOS !!! tres puntos están en casa !!

View all 3,985 comments.

user bro has the inlaws in his likes

- user and they claim theyre "friends" ... if my "friends" dad was liking my posts id assume were married with seven kids and a dog

ynramsay marcaría un hattrick 🤓☝🏼

- marcguiu9 me gustaría verte intentarlo

user were winning the ucl !! (im going insane)

- user were so back !! (we are not making it past the group stage)

user la masia boys have some kind of fine gene in them its crazy

ynramsay formula is still better sorry bro

- marcguiu9 you trippin dawg 😹😹😹

- user just get married lord...

- user theyre literally built for eachother i swear

Liked by hctorforrt_, marcguiu9 & 11,258,997 others.

ynramsay meanwhile in my head

View all 8,547 comments.

user mother is mothering

user the prettiest

user an angel sent from heaven, deadass.

marcguiu9 ¿eres un rayo? proque eres mcqueen. (are you lighnting? because you're mcqueen)

- nateramsay WEAAAAAK. next

- marcguiu9 can you be the sally to my mcqueen??

- nateramsay better.. u got my approval

- peteramsay not mine !!!

user 11 million likes on ts post jesus marc u got some competition

user the finest girl in the world

user girlie got the whole barca roster in her likes

Liked by hctorforrt_, marcguiu9 & 7,566,058 others.

ynramsay barca weekend things !!

View all 9,568 comments.

user mother is mothering

user wifey, are you cheating on me?

user IS THAT MARCS HAND ???????

user guys that's me please respect our privacy!!

user i think it's hector tbh..

- user nah thats so randon

- user they're clearly just friends

user wasnt expecting a heartbreak today

user im sorry but it looks like marc

- user a HAND looks like marc ???????

marcguiu9 vroom

- ynramsay vroom indeed

- user yall...

peteramsay aprobado 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

- marcguiu9 VAMOOOOOOOS

might be a series or whatever :3 just pls request something

[b3ach-bunn7]

CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST

Texts with your best friend Touya (who’s a little bit in love with you)

no quirk au <3

—————————————————————————-

January 9th

8:47 pm

You: OH TOUYAAAAA

You: it’s nearly ur bd 😁 what shall I get u

Touya: Nothing

Touya: Just Ur love 😍

You: ew

You: shall I get u some new earrings

You: OH I COULD PAY FOR ANOTHER PIERCING

Touya: Literally where

Touya: I think I’ve pierced every available location on my face

Touya: Unless… You meant somewhere else 😳

You: EWWWWWWWW

You: UR SUCH A FREAK

Touya: I meant my belly button?

You: stfu

Touya: Get your head out the gutter

You: shut up pooya

Touya: Wow you really got me there!

You: HUSH

January 12th

8:39 am

You: bruh where r u

You: homeroom started like ten minutes ago

Touya: I just woke up

Touya: Leaving onw buy shoti is lissing me kff

You: okay English!!!

Touya: Kys

You: but you can type that right…

January 12th

1:40 pm

You: Touyaaaaaa

You: can we go get food

You: the canteen stuff is rubbish today

You: plz I’m so sos is so hungry I’m dying

Touya: Fatty

You: HEY

You: SO MEAN

Touya: I’m only joking sweetcheeks

You: gross

Touya: You love it

Touya: Shiggy wants to come 2

Touya: Is that Ok

You: sigh fine I guess

Touya: Shall I tell him he’ll be third wheeling if he does 😳

You: yes 🥰🥰🥰😍 he just can’t interrupt our time together my sweet

Touya: Ew

You: you love it

January 13th

7:40 pm

You: GST ON MINECRAFTTT

Touya: I’m doing homework

You: I’m doing your mum OHHH

Touya: Woah

Touya: Telling her u said that

You: PLZ IM JOKING

You: I’ll tell her ur telling porky pies

You: Rei would trust my word over urs anyways 😈

Touya: Lowkey she would

Touya: My own mother 😢

You: I’m just better ig

You: how long r u gonna be

Touya: Give me like fifteen mins

You: BOO

Touya: Bro Aizawa is up my ass rn

Touya: If I hand one more piece of work in late he’s gonna acc kill me

You: idk why u hate him so much

You: i love him

You: and he has that sexy teacher look🤤 those luscious locks

Touya: R u sure u can get off his dick long enough for us to play

You: HAHAHAH

You: STFU

You: ur just jealous

Touya: So very

Touya: Why aren’t u hyping ME up like that

You: cause u smell?

Touya: I’m not playing

You: IM JOKING

You: U smell so good and yummy

You: like cigarette smoke 😍

Touya: 🙄

You: sassy 💁‍♀️

Touya: Stop distracting me so I can work

You: okay smelly

January 15th

2:30 pm

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Y/n

Touya: Y/NNNN

Touya: Queen

Touya: Sweetheart

Touya: Angel

You: if you throw one more piece of paper at my head I’m blocking u

Touya: You won’t check ur phone

Touya: How else can I get ur attention from across the room

You: WE R I. CLASS

Touya: So?

You: think I figured out why Aizawa doesn’t rate u

You: pay attention

Touya: But I miss u

Touya: And I’m bored

You: U LITERALLY SAW ME LIKE HALF AN HOUR AGO

You: AT LINCH

Touya: Ur point?

You: omfg

Touya: So what’s up

You: I’m gonna kill you

January 17th

6:50 pm

Fuyumi: Hi Y/N

You: hey fuyumi!!

You: everything okay?

Fuyumi: Yeah, it’s great!!

Fuyumi: Just wanted to tell u that everyone needs to be at ours for Touya’s party at 5:00

Fuyumi: We’ll tell him to come home at like six so that gives us some time to get everything ready

You: beautiful

You: do u think he has any idea were throwing him a party 🤭🤭

Fuyumi: I don’t think so 😆 we have been very careful

Fuyumi: Even shoto has kept his mouth shut

You: yeah I had to threaten twice a couple times before he promised to not tell

You: IM EXCITED

Fuyumi: Me too!!!

Fuyumi: Can’t wait to see u 😊

You: I can’t wait either!!!

Fuyumi: I hope he’ll like it

Fuyumi: We’re getting mum to drive all across town to get him that cake he loves

Fuyumi: I really want him to have fun

You: don’t worry babe he will have fun

You: and if he doesn’t I’ll force him to 😈

January 17th

7:00pm

Touya: U guys r throwing me a surprise party right

You: what?

Touya: For my bd

Touya: Fuyumi is being all suspicious

Touya: Told me I have to leave the house tomorrow but also come back at six oclock??

Touya: And the little brat keeps giggling at me

You: uhm don’t call little shoto that

Touya: Ur deflecting

Touya: They r throwing a party aren’t they

You: they aren’t

You: idk why you think that

Touya: Y/N

You: WHY DO U HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING

Touya: Lol

You: please please don’t tell them you know

You: they’re so excited for do this for you

You: [screenshot attachment]

You: look what Fuyumi said to me

Touya: Oh

You: please don’t spoil 😔

Touya: Don’t worry your pretty little head

Touya: I won’t

You: YAY

You: LOVE U

Touya: Ly2

January 18th

12:00am

You: [audio messsage]

You: enjoy me whisper singing happy bd to u

You: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY WOOOOO

You: LOVE U THE MOST

You: okay I need to sleep we have school tomorrow

January 18th

3:07am

Touya: Thank you y/n

Touya: Ly the most too

January 18th

6:15 pm

You: Touya where tf r u

Touya: I’m On my way!

You: we’ll be On your way! FASTER

Touya: STFU

You: U STFU

Touya: U TOLD ME TO MAKE THIS BELIEVEBE

Touya: MY FAMILY WOULD NOT BELEIWV I GOT THERE ON TIME

You: wait ur right lowkey

Touya: exactly

You: well walk faster

Touya: I’m not walking

Touya: I’m driving

You: HOW TF R U TEXTING ME

Touya: Imd riving one handed?

You: GET TF OFF UR PHONE 😭

January 19th

12:04 am

Touya: Y/N

Touya: Thank u for gifts

Touya: The strap for my bass

Touya: And the necklace

Touya: I lowbe them

Touya: and the aprty was so fun

Touya: I lovwd it

Touya: and I lobe you

You: that’s okay 😁

You: are u drunk rn🤔

Touya: Snuch out with bawks

Touya: Hrwks

Touya: Hawks

Touya: Raided fathers liquoye supply

You: you went to your dad’s house????

Touya: NO

Touya: never

Touya: stolen from when he was gere

Touya: fukcing loser 😂😂

You: where r u guys?

Touya: hawks house

Touya: his oarents arent home

Touya: u wanbawcome over

Touya: I’ll kuck him out

You: u can’t kick hawks out of his own house 😭

You: why do u even need to kick him out we’re friends

Touya: he flirst with y so much

Touya: flirts

Touya: pisses me off

You: awwwww r u jelly 🥺

Touya: yes

You: LOL

You: yeah maybe lay off the the drinks buddy

Touya: I live u

Touya: love

Touya: I loved the gifts u got me rhwnks

You: you already said babe

Touya: sorry baby Im so drunk

You: okay I’m going to go before you say something you’ll regret in the morning

You: goodnight birthday boy

January 19th

1:05 pm

Touya: Please erase last night from ur memory

You: last night was a movie 😍

Touya: Yeah a fucking horror

You: HAHAHA

Touya: My head is killing me

You: painkillers?

Touya: Idk where they r and Hawks is sleeping

You: did u guys just wake up 😭

Touya: I think I slept like at like five am

Touya: It’s nice smoking inside a house and not in some alleyway so mum doesn’t catch me

You: BOO

You: ur lungs hate u

Touya: I hate them back

Touya: It’s why I smoke

You: LOL SHUT UP

Touya: Fuck my HEAD

You: that’s what he said

Touya: Ew man

You: you love it

You: go drink some h2o

Touya: Enough chemistry in too tired

You: sigh fine

You: go get some WATER 💦

Touya: Fine

You: bye baby 🤪

Touya: I’ll kill you

You: but I thought you love me??

Touya: Ur dead to me

You: HAHHA

January 21st

7:06 pm

You: Touya

You: can I come over plz

Touya: Erm what 😳😳😳

You: seriously

You: can I

Touya: Yh ofc

Touya: You okay?

You: yh

You: well no actually

You: my dads being my dad again

You: I just can’t be in this house rn

You: I need to get away from him

Touya: Yeah u can anytime

Touya: Yk my family loves u

You: thanks

Touya: You want me to pick u up?

You: nah I wanna walk

You: thanks again

You: love u

Touya: Ly2

January 29th

5:28 pm

You: [image attachment]

You: BRUH HOW DID I LOSEEEE

You: I ATE SK BAD

Touya: Bruh get off dress to impress 😭

Touya: U r beefing ten year olds rn

You: idgaf

You: ten year olds who can’t fucking dress

You: I actually hate this game

You: that is NOT STEAM PUNK WHAT THE FUCK

Touya: Maybe get good

You: maybe kys???????

Touya: Words hurt 😔

You: man up?

Touya: Woah

Touya: Okay just perpetuate gender norms..

You: define perpetuate?

You: YH that’s what i thought

February 6th

7:06 pm

You: bro

You: all my friends have valentines apart from ME

Touya: Get good?

You: okay and where’s urs?

Touya: texting her rn 😍

You: omg 😳

You: but on a real I feel horrifically left out

You: Toga keeps flaunting it in my face

Touya: That little freak got one?

Touya: Who

You: yk that girl in 1-A with the chubby cheeks

You: they r so cute omg

You: how come toga has a lesbian lover and I’m jobless and hoeless 😔

Touya: I can help with one of those things

You: u hiring???

Touya: I’ll be ur valentine

You: I can’t tell if ur joking

Touya: I’m not

You: do u have one romantic bone in ur body

Touya: I can think of one 😳

You: LMAO EW

Touya: Nah fr I’ll be ur valentine

You: okay…

You: ask me properly tho

Touya: Okay

Touya: Hey Y/N

You: oh hi Touya! What’s up

Touya: Will u do me the great honour of being my valentine?

You: 😊 yes!

Touya: Thank you 😊😍

February 10th

2:02 pm

Touya: Omg

Touya: Y/N guess what

You: don’t text me in class lil bro

Touya: Someone asked me to be their valentine 🤪

You: what

You: Who

You: is she in our homeroom

You: did u tell her ur mine

Touya: Woahh

Touya: Jealous much

You: no I just don’t want to be a side piece 😔

Touya: No Dw I told her I’m urs 🥺

You: shush

You: yk what I meant

You: who was it tho

Touya: Idk some girl in my maths class

Touya: She seemed pretty sad when I said no

Touya: The ladies love me

You: she’ll get over it!

Touya: LOL

February 14th

8:03 am

You: OMG

You: ARE THESE FLOWERS MINE

Touya: No I got them for ur dad actually

You: TOUYAAA

You: THEYRE MY FAVS

You: THANM U SM

Touya: Anytime Valentine

February 14th

1:20 pm

Touya: Meet at my car

Touya: I’m taking u out for lunch

You: thank gosh

You: they’re selling some mystery meatloaf type deal and I’m no happy

You: hawksy wants to come too

Touya: No

Touya: Just u

You: girl he’s not gonna do anything

Touya: No this is like

Touya: Hold on

You: okay hawks is looking at his phone and typing

You: r u texting him

You: okay he magically doesn’t wanna come along anymore

Touya: Aw :((

Touya: I’m waiting outside

You: see u in a bit smelly

February 14th

1:50 pm

You: ur such a child

You: IM RIGHT IN FRONT OD U JUST TALK TO ME

Touya: NO

You: WHY

Touya: IK SCARED

You: I can see u smiling

Touya: Shut up

Touya: Okay listen

Touya: If u don’t like what I’m about to say we r going to act like this never happened okay

Touya: I will delete the message out of existence and thus out of ur mind

You: okay…

Touya: Okay so I kind of like actually asked u to be my Valentine not just because ur lonely

Touya: And I like really like you

Touya: As in like like

Touya: But I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because ur the best friend I’ve ever had and will ever have

Touya: So if u don’t feel the same we can just pretend this never happened

February 14th

8:00 pm

You: I’m home safe xxx

Touya: Don’t care

You: okay mr message me when ur back

You: okay mr parked in my driveway to make sure I got in okay???

Touya: Shut up

You: wait hold on

You: is that why uninvited hawks

You: so that u could ask me out

Touya: Yeah and the sky is also blue

You: SHUT UL

Touya: He’s so stupid yk

Touya: It was his idea ??

Touya: And he forgot

You: hey three’s a party!

Touya: So you would’ve kissed me as aggressively as you did if Hawks was there?

You: wait ur right..

You: Oh well

You: it was about time anyways

You: took u like three years and u did it over DMS

Touya: I’m shy 🥺

You: EW TF

You: I take the kiss back

Touya: These hickeys tell me a different story

You: HSUTUP

Touya: You love it

You: I love YOU 🫵

Touya: Yeah

Touya: Love you too

—————————————————————————

This was NOT supposed to end with a confession but I physically cannot help myself 😅 I love these text posts they’re so fun!!

Hope u all enjoyed <3

[bxeckersz]

Bratty | Paige Bueckers x Female Reader

Based on this request

Summary: Y/n goes out with Paige and her team but catches an attitude and gets jealous when she sees paige engaging with another woman.

Warnings: Language, drinking, strap

A/n: bro idk what this title is so 😭😣. also BARE w MEEE, i am not good at smut so like pls, bare w me 😭. Had to rewrite this 38372 times cause tumblr kept deleting it 😣.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

“Y/n pleaseee” Aubrey pleads as we walk out of their practice. I came to Paige’s practice today since I had nothing better to do. Aubrey and Jana were currently begging me to go out with them.

“It’ll be so much funn” Jana says. “I don’t know guys. I have homework” I reply. “Y/n, you haven’t gone out with us in like.. forever. cmon. please? you need a break” Nika butts in.

I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking about Nika’s comment. She is right. The last time I had been out with them was for Paige’s birthday. It’s June.

“you still owe me from when you didn’t come with us on my birthday” KK says, wiggling her eyebrows. Fuck, she is right.

“Pleasee” Jana pleads. “Fine” I say, cracking. The team erupts into cheers and laughter. “we’re gonna have so much fun” Jana says, throwing her arm over my shoulder.

“yeah I guess, but get off me your sweaty” I say, throwing her arm over me. “can’t believe your coming out tonight” Paige says, putting her arm over my shoulder and laughing quietly.

I watch as Jana’s jaw drops. “Wow. So i cant do it, but Paige can? Fake” She says, putting her hand over her chest.

“Yeah, she can.” I say, nodding as we walk into the parking lot. “The favoritism goes crazy” Jana says, putting her hand up.

“she likes me more than you” Paige says, unlocking the car door. “That is so not true”.

“Oh whatever” Jana rolls her eyes, getting in her car.

☆☆☆☆☆

The music blares through the cluttered and humid club. Me, Jana, Caroline, and Ayanna are at the bar. KK, Aubrey, Aaliyah, Nika, and Azzi are dancing. Paige and Ice are interacting with fans as always. And Ashlynn, Qadence, and Amari are somewhere keeping the team alive with their soberness cause lord knows they won’t drink for shit.

“I’ll be right back” I say as I see Paige wrap her arm around this girl. “okay” Yanna nods.

“Who’s this?” I ask, walking up to Paige.

“Hey baby. Uh- this is Ari. we used to go to high school together. This is my girlfriend, Y/n” Paige nods, introducing us.

I nod, looking the girl up and down. Paige’s arm was around her shoulder, Ari’s hand was around her hand. The shit made me furious to say the least.

I roll my eyes, “Well i’ma go back to the bar”.

“Alright” Paige furrows her brows. I can notice the girl looking at me weirdly.

I walk back to the bar, hopping on the bar stool. “Who’s that” Jana asks.

I shrug, “Some girl Paige used to go to school with.”

“Mm” They nod. “You good?” Caroline asks, noticing my demeanor. “i’m good” I purse my lips together.

“What’s up with you?” Paige jogs to me.

“Nothing” I shake my head. “Bull shit” Paige sighs. “Uhm- cmon guys let’s go with KK” Jana says, grabbing Caroline and Ayanna.

“Why’re you over here anyway? go talk to Ari” I roll my eyes. “Oh so that’s what this is about?” Paige raises her eyebrows.

I look up at her, “What do you mean”

“This attitude shit you’ve got going on. It’s cause of Ari, hm?” Paige motions to Ari.

“I don’t have an attitude.” I scoff, my tone sassy. “Watch that tone” Paige hops on the stool next to me.

I roll my eyes in response, turning my head the other way. “You never answered my question. This attitude you’ve got is cause of Ari, huh?” She repeats.

“Again, I don’t have and attitude”

“You better watch that tone and attitude before I fuck it out of you.” Paige whispers in my ear.

“I don’t have a fucking attitude, paige.” I remark.

The next thing I know i’m bent over our bed getting absolutely destroyed by her strap.

“told you to watch that damn attitude.” Paige groans. All I can do is moan in response.

“Fuck.” is all i can manage to get out.

“feel good, hm?” Paige coos.

“mhm” I moan out.

“Use your words” Paige spits out.

“Fuck. yes, feel so good” I moan, gripping the sheets whilst Paige shamelessly thrusts into me.

Paige grabs a hold of my waist, speeding her thrusts up. “Paige. fuck, feels so good” I moan out.

“told you to watch that bratty attitude of yours. Now look at yourself. fucked out on my cock” She groans. She was right- i was so fucked out.

“Fuck- don’t stop. so close” I moan, gripping the sheets hard enough for my knuckles to turn white.

“Let go, baby. cum all over my cock.” Paige spews out, speeding her thrusts up more.

Her words combined with the speed of her deep thrusts causes me to let go. The knot in my stomach breaks. “Oh, fuck.” A string of pornographic moans leave my mouth as I cum.

Paige rides me through my high, “that’s good.”

She eventually slows down and pulls out. “God dammit, paige.” I catch my breath, turning over.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you.” Paige says, a cocky smirk growing in her face.

“Oh, shut up.” I groan.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

thanks for reading all the way through!

yall i literally had to re write this so many times.

[imnameimswrld]

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 || 𝗝𝗝 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . jungkook x popstar!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : bullied for being "immature" , y/n goes dark for a whole year, before returning with a new sound, and a whole different aesthetic, and the world is shocked to find just who's been by her side through it all ; ❫

━━ ❪ . . . smau ! ❫

━━ ❪ warnings: none ❫

━━ ❪ fc: dove cameron ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

before...

ynusername

liked by zendaya, thv, and 2 334 224 others

ynusername sunday vibes 🌻

View all comments

user pretty !

user jesus, you're not in Disney Channel anore girl, grow tf up.

user ...you know you're not 16 anymore right ? 🤭

user this girl NEEDS to start acting her age or istg

⤿ user wdym ???

⤿ user first of all she's been blonde since her liv and maddies, and she's been all prissy princess when we all KNOW she ain't nothing like that. she needs to grow up, like, yesterday already.

⤿ user there's nothing wrong with her still being blonde tf, YOU should grow up.

user so no one is gonna talk about kim taehyung in the likes ? no ? okay...

one yeah later...

ynusername added to their story !

ynusername

liked by rkive, thv, and 2 987 224 others

ynusername hi loves, I'm back – alchemical out this Friday 🤍.

View all comments

user holy shit – MOMMY !?

user THE QUEEN HAVETH RETURNED

uarmyhope 🔥🔥🔥

user JHOPE !? HELLO !?!

user okay can we PLEASE talk about how all of bts are in the likes ?? collab 👀

user yn in her reputation era we love to see it.

[ liked by ynusername ]

ynupdates

liked by user, user335, and 656 others

ynupdates BREAKING NEWS GUYS !! Y/N was spotted out yesterday in Miami with... JEON JUNGKOOK FROM BTS !?!?!? I'm no kpop fan but what I do is, he is fine as hell, and look at our girl's smile !!!! I love seeing her happy.

View all comments

user HELLOOO !? my worlds colliding fr daamn

user JUNGKOOK WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

user y/n looks so happy omg 😭

user HAND PLACEMENT !?

user I am so here for this – if I see any toxic army coming for her istg

abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz

liked by j.m, urarmyhope, and 10 224 787 others

abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz a lethal woman, but the best lover 🖤

View all comments

user JEON. JUNG. KOOK !?

user bro hasn't posted since 2022 😭

thv alchemical>>>>golden.

⤿ ynusername tae 😭

⤿ abcdefghi__lmnopqrstuvwxyz wow...

user V PLS- 😭😭

user slide 3 DAMN 🥲

user a power couple fr.

ynusername

liked by thv, booboostewart.art, and 2 334 878 others

ynusername eternally greatful for your continuous love and support through the years baby 💋

View all comments

user YEARS !?

user y/n was at the ptd show in vegas !? holy shit they've been together for way longer than i expected.

uramyhope ynkook !!!

[ liked by ynusername ]

user they're actually so perfect for each other

user WAIT- y/n gets it seven days a week !?

⤿ user LMFAO 😭😭😭😭😭

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[furuyalover]

taking care of him at a party

— ft. atsumu miya

AN: just a lil sum while i work my music event drabbles 🤍 also this was soo fun to write so pls request any other characters i should do this for !

your roommate was throwing a party in your shared house, and it was fun at first. however your social battery was running kind of low, and you felt like taking a break anyways. “hey im a little beat, but if you need anything i’ll be in my room” you tell your friend and then you make your way to your room.

you lie down on your bed, and decide to maybe take a small nap to help you feel better. but not even 15 minutes into your nap you hear a soft knock on your door. “come in” you groan, as you readjust yourself so that you can sit up and see whoever’s at your door, expecting your roommate needing assistance with something for the party. but to your surprise, your greeting by three familiar faces, one being a very drunk atsumu miya.

being practically held him by his twin brother and good friend suna, the former embarrassingly says “y/n im so sorry for barging in, but is it ok if we let atsumu take a break here? every other room was occupied and your roommate told us to try here” atsumu was smashed, you could tell that he was shitfaced and it was more like osamu & suna who needed the break.

“what? ok sure yeah whatever. just lay him down over there i guess.” too tired to really even refute their request, you instruct the two to carry their drunken friend on the side of your bed opposite of you. this is where you decide it’s probably time for you to turn in for the night.

you leave atsumu to rest on your bed, and head into your bathroom to change, shower, and what not to get ready for bed. by the time you’re done you chuckle to yourself when you see atsumu is still knocked out on your bed. admittedly, you found it kind of cute to see him like this. peacefully asleep, in his natural state, a change of pace from his usual loud and brash personality, it didn’t help that he was in your bed as well. after placing a glass of water and some tylenol and advil on the nightstand next to him, you sit on your side of your bed and start mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

you text your roommate, updating them on the wild situation you found yourself in. “y/n are u fr rn? this is like the perfect chance for u to confess to him hello??” a smile forms on your face after reading that text, “bro what hell no. that’s so awkward 😭” “ur trippin, worst case scenario u can tell him u we’re js drunk” rolling your eyes at that suggestion, you exit your texts and go back to your scrolling.

a few minutes go by and you feel atsumu shifting in your bed, followed by a slight groan. “oh god where am i” he groans as he rolls over, rubbing his eyes, to face this mysterious figure sat beside him.

“well you’re not downstairs getting shitfaced that’s for sure” you snark with a small chuckle, slightly admiring how cute he looks with his messy hair and flushed face. “oh shit! y/n! is this your room? oh my god did we..?” amused by his slight panic you reassured him that nothing happened, “no no don’t worry, you were absolutely plastered so suna and your brother dropped you off here so you could rest. there’s some tylenol next to you, you should really take some”

she’s such an angel wow, he thought to himself as he took the pain relievers you so kindly prepared for him. “god those assholes, sorry you had to deal with that” he quietly, almost embarrassingly apologizes. giggling at his annoyance you assure him it’s fine and that it’s not a big deal. but then the gears start turning in your head a bit, as you start to develop a lil plan to semi-confess to him.

“the party isn’t probably gonna end for another few hours, so if you want you can just crash here if you want. i can just sleep on the couch or something��� almost immediately, a grin plasters on atsumus face, and his usually cocky self is back just like that. “i mean that’s rather rude ya know? i wouldn’t want such an angel who had to take care of a drunken asshole to sleep on the couch. you should probably just sleep in your own bed” he grins as he runs his hands through his messy blonde hair, this bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, you think to yourself.

despite a very obvious blush creeping up on your face you respond, “yeah well i’d feel bad if you had to stay on the couch” scoffing, faking offense to your comment “who said anything about me on the couch? plus i heard cuddling is good for hangovers.” OH HOW I HATE HIM. rolling your eyes you playfully act annoyed, but you couldn’t be any happier

“hm well i always wanted to cuddle with that dumbass from the volleyball team who i have a crush on” you retort with a light laugh. now it’s his turn to blush, already flushed from the alcohol he is now redder than before. “when exactly were you planning on tellling this handsome and talented dumbass?” despite the confident demeanor he was definitely screaming on the inside.

“i figured now would be a good time, but who said anything about handsome and talented.” you reply as you side eye him, but he just can’t help but smile right at you. “so we’re definitely cuddling right?” he asks with a heartful, genuine smile. not being able to deny this lover boy’s smile or even him in general, i mean you’ve liked him for months now, you roll your eyes and respond “ok fine i guess whatever, but find some clothes to change into and take a shower” you laugh as you playfully hit him on his shoulder.

“on it.” he gets up heading downstairs to see if any of his friends have extra clothes they can get him, and to of course tell them about his crush on you. “shit finally, it’s about time you told her you liked her, osamu you owe me $10 and some food” “ok fine suna whatever, but you owe me $5 since he did it while he was drunk.” yes these mfs placed bets on you guys confessing to each other.

reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

[chrolloluvr]

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

[whyse7vn]

LOVE OCTAGON? -

[ ot7 x reader ]

YOUNG FOREVER

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: just did 8 push ups i’ll smack the shit out of anybody rn

jin: if you were a girl i’d be into that

jk: pls don’t hit me

tae: thought he liked men

jimin: could of fooled me

jin: ??????

namjoon: glad to see ur working out again hobi

hobi: what’s that supposed to mean??

namjoon: i’m glad to see you working out again?

y/n: can i watch?

jk: i want you so bad omg

y/n: ??

jk: sorry i was hacked

yoongi: did one of you order food to my house?

jk: no i wasn’t

tae: MY BURGER IS AT YOUR HOUSE???

OH MY GOD I THOUGH I WAS SCAMMED I WAS SO UPSET

jimin: eat it yoongi

tae: DON’T

pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

send it back to me pls i’m begging

i’m literally starving

and shaking

jin: i think you should give it back to him yoongi could be his first meal in months

hobi: real

yoongi: threw it away

tae: WHAT IS UR ISSUE??????

yoongi: you

hobi: namjoon do you want to fight?

jk: do you want me back?

jimin: shut up

tae: don’t expect to hear from me ever again bitch

yoongi: oh nooooo

namjoon: fight??

y/n: can i watch?

jin: this is stressing me out

someone give me a fun fact to calm me down

namjoon: um

hobi: xikers are the first 5th gen group

tae: that sounds like a disease

jimin: thought we would never hear from you again

yoongi: good things never last

jin: 5TH GEN??????

ARE YOU SILLY

THATS A THING??

THAT FACT DID NOT CALM ME DOWN AT ALL

jimin: ofc tae’s talking about diseases again

tae: am i wrong tho??

like

omg i got xikers rn

i’m itching soooo badddfd

pls i need to go to hospital the xikers on my back are killing me

namjoon: stop talking

tae: i’m not wrong

jk: are you ok tae?

what is xikers

it sounds bad

tae: i’m dying

pls remember me

jk: WHAT 😨

i will bro 🥺

y/n: he’s lying to you

jk: i’m not i swear i’ll remember you forever and ever

y/n: tae is lying to YOU

stupid

jk: oh

wtf man :/

tae: you never let me have fun

hobi: i want to be 5th gen

jk: but we said we were 4th gen??

namjoon: we are 3rd gen.

yoongi: let’s not do this again

tae: ME FOR 5TH GEN IT BOY

jimin: jimin 5th gen ace

jin: although i’m in shock and disbelief rn i’ll still take on the role of 5th gen it boy

tae: ?????

tf is wrong with you

can you read

i said i’m 5th gen it boy?

let’s vote

come on guys 🤗

yoongi: i vote jin

y/n: jin

jk: ME 3

jimin: ig jin

hobi: jin4thewin

namjoon: jin?

jin: i also vote for jin

tae: burn in hell

jk: y/n 5th gen it girl?

y/n: but i was 4th gen it girl last time

jk: ur right let’s swap

y/n: best 5th gen rapper

it’s an honour really

jk: i will use my 5th gen it girl title to help better the world

hobi: 5th GEN VISUAL HOSEOK

yoongi can take the best 5th gen singer title

yoongi: k

y/n: namjoon best 5th gen dancer?

jk: i agree

namjoon: ??

jin: idk about you but i love my new title

tae: i bet you do

jin: you sound mad

namjoon: again?

tae: i’m not

namjoon: you can take mine if you really want

i don’t care for you guy’s silly little game

jk: THIS IS NO GAME JOON

THIS IS OUR REAL LIFE

hobi: RIGHT

tae: KEEP UR NASTY TITLE I DONT WANT UR PITY FUCK YOU FUVK YOU FUCK YOU

jin: yikes

yoongi: all this shouting for what?

y/n: wow

namjoon: fine

jimin: why did jungkook go live naked

y/n: proof lmao?

jin: right put me off my salad fr

jimin: you were eating a salad?

jin: yeah?

jimin: ok

jin: tf you mean ok???

do you want to fight?

jimin: i’m just surprised that’s all

jin: why??????

jimin: cuz yk…

jin: no i DON’T know

pls enlighten me bitch

jk: i wasn’t naked??

jimin: yes you were

jin: HELLO???

YK WHAT?

jk: i swear i wasn’t

y/n: proof???????

jk: you want to see me naked 🤭??

i’m blushing rn

tae: i was naked once

hobi: this isn’t about you

y/n: tae sent me nudes by email once

hobi: ok this is about you

jk: WHAT????)/£/

jin: by email?

tae: omg why would you tell themmmm

jimin: why would you ever want nudes from that?

tae: that????

y/n: i never asked for them

who do you think i am??

tae: what does that mean??

namjoon: you can literally get arrested for that

tae: kinky

but i did send them on accident

so i’m sure the police would understand

jin: i do not believe that at all

and by email??

how is that an accident

yoongi: right

tae: plus i did look super hot right y/n?

y/n: that not the point

tae: see how she didn’t say no

jk: SAY NO

hobi: send the nudes here i say!

jin: DO NOT

jk: say no before i shoot myself in the head

jimin: wow

namjoon: it doesn’t matter if she thought you looked good or not you can’t go round sending ur nudes to people with without warning

tae: says who?

namjoon: the fucking law?

are you okay?? like that’s common sense

wtf is wrong with you

hobi: joons getting mad oh my god >.<

yoongi: thought we established he has no common sense

tae: i knew telepathically that she needed to receive nudes from me in order to keep living

jin: so you didn’t send them by accident then

tae: accident on purpose it’s all the same thing tbh

y/n: to keep living??

jimin: they are polar opposites actually

tae: omg all of u on my dick rn

don’t be mad i stepped up and you didn’t

jk: i was goONA STEP UP

ITVWAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME

I HATE YOU

IM GOING TO KILL YOU

hobi: jk’s mad this is scary >.<

jin: witnessing the fall the taekook in real time

wow this is truly beautiful

tae: omg chill out??

it’s nothing she hasn’t seen before

jimin: and is that by choice?

jk: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

hobi: wait what?

namjoon: everyone shut the fuck up

jin: look now you made joon fr mad

hobi: sorry namjoon >.<

tae: it wasn’t even my fault

y/n: i’m the victim here don’t be mad at me

jk: DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JOON

yoongi: i’m tired

jimin: this is a lot to take in

namjoon: taehyung apologise

tae: FOR WHAT?????????

hobi: ur sick in the head

namjoon: now

tae: sorry??????

jk: nasty bitch

tae: y/n let’s tell them about us

jk: what

yoongi: 🤨

y/n: us?

tae: ummmmmmm lol?

she’s normally not like this i swear

she likes me honestly

stop embarrassing in front of the guys babe

y/n: blocking you

tae: are u using me for my body???

i sent you nudes TWICE

hobi: one in a million we are twice 🩷💖

tae: you said i was hot

are we not in love?

yoongi: lol

jk: YOU SENT HER NUDES TWICE???????

OH MY GODDDDSJEJ SOMEONE PLs PULL THE TRIGGER FOR ME IM TOO WEAK TO DO THIS ANYMOREEEENBE

jimin: so like did she ask for the nudes the first time?

y/n: SHUT UP???

jimin: OH MY GODFF YIU TOTALY DID

THE PLOT THICKENS

y/n: namjoon tell them to stop taking

namjoon: stop talking

hobi: wait…

is this the fwb you’ve been talking about for weeks

tae: STOP SPEAKING

jin: wooow ur really sad

jk: OhH MY GODDDD ANd I CONGRATULATED YOU SND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDHDXUD KILL MEMEME KILL MEMEEEE

y/n: fwb?

we have not fucked

jk: oh thajnk god

yoongi: have you kissed?

hobi: yoongi’s jealous >.<

yoongi: just asking

tae: i don’t want to talk about this anymore

jimin: look he’s embarrassed

they totally have not kissed

tae: bottom lie is that she said i was hot

jk: SHE WANTEF TO SEE ME NAKED BEFORE SO UR NOT SPECIAL

DONT LET IT GET TO UR HEAD

BITCH

namjoon: calm down jungkook

jk: HES A LITTLE SNAKE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN NEVER EVER EVER

I LIKED HER FIRST

yoongi: no you didn’t?

jin: is this a love triangle?

hobi: classic case of a love square

jimin: love square?

y/n: no one is in love

tae: my life is over

y/n: get a grip

jimin: i’m feeling left out put me in the square

hobi: it wouldn’t be a square then

jimin: love pentagon?

jin: make it a hexagon

hobi: wait wtf and me

love heptagon so cute 💞

what about you namjoon?

namjoon: what about me?

jimin: do you want to fuck y/n yes or no?

y/n: oh my god????

jk: YOU BETTER SAY NO

SAY NO

ILL KILL YOU

namjoon: i’m not answering that

jk: GOOD

WAIT WTF ARE YOU TRYING TI SAY YOU DON’T THINK SHES HOT???

WTF IS WRONG WITH yOU???

SHE IS NOT UGLY

namjoon: i never said that

jimin: i’m taking that as a yes

hobi: love octagon 🩷

y/n: what happened to talking about our 5th gen life 🙁

jk: i love 5th gen

hobi: what is with the gc name?

jimin: it’s for jin’s mental health

jin: ur actually decreasing my mental health by taking about 5th gen

jimin: are newjeans 5th gen?

jin: okay so just fuck me then?

yoongi: idk

hobi: I LOVE NEWJEANS

oHUr my OHUR MY GODTT

jin: i don’t listen minors sing

it’s bad for the economy

jimin: just say they make you feel old as shit

jk: i don’t listen to other women sing

y/n: ???

jk: i mean i love when other women sing

i actually only listen to girl groups

tae: he’s lying

because that’s actually me

y/n: shut the fuck up both of you

yoongi: real

y/n: and you

yoongi: ??????????????????????

jimin: LMAO

HE DIDN’T EXPECT THAT

jin: GOTTT HIKMMMMM LMAOSOSOSOIDKEKEKDKDKDK

hobi: i love feminism ❤️

y/n: it’s nice not arguing

namjoon: i’ve been telling you all

jimin: true!!!

hobi: you argue the most

jimin: me???

hobi: yes you

you and jin literally argued 10 seconds ago

jin: don’t put us in the same sentence like that i’m getting uncomfortable

namjoon: the fact that they actually shut the fuck up

what have i been doing wrong

jimin: maybe cuz you don’t have a pussy idk

namjoon: did you have to be so vulgar?

y/n: vulgar?

what are you 65??

hobi: pussy is power

NOT vulgar

jin: vulgar is such a nasty word like ew vulgar

namjoon: i’m leaving

jin: praise god

namjoon left “young forever”

tae: i love pussy btw

jimin left “young forever”

hobi left “young forever”

y/n left “young forever”

yoongi left “young forever”

jk: personally i think you’re so brave for saying that

—

and taekook lived!!

[whipitgod]

Totally Normal, Non Romantic Bro Moment

Dean x Castiel

oneshot - wc: 2k

summary: Dean is the only one who doesn’t realize he’s dating Cas

warnings: blatantly and boldly ignoring canon, a little crack-ish as per usual, some light swearing and little bit of spice (they kiss but that’s it)

a/n: Thank you for all the support on the last few oneshots!! this is the first time i’ve ever written for destiel or supernatural so it might be a bit ooc! If you like this remember to leave a like/reblog! maybe even follow me :D! Happy reading!!

!!!!REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

“Sammy!” The sound of his brother calling his name makes Sam sit up quickly, having dozed off whilst trying to finish a book he had started ages ago but could never manage to find the time to complete. He pushes himself off his bed with the intent to meet the older Winchester in the kitchen where he heard him yelling from. Before he even has a chance to reach for the door handle the door flies open, Dean entering the room with a startling amount of aggression.

Sam puffs out an irritated breath at the man's behavior, “Of course you can come in-” he pauses slightly taking in the flustered nature of the hunter now pacing back in forth and grumbling quietly to himself; a look of concern crosses Sam’s face, mouth turning down slightly, “Are you alright, did something happen?”

Dean’s head snaps towards him then, looking at him for the first time since he had burst into the room, “Yeah, i’m fine man,” he gets a look on his face like he tasted something bitter before rushing out an agitated, “no actually i’m not fine.” Sam tilts his head slightly at this urging Dean to continue with a wave of his hand; Sam notes that the man has yet to stop pacing.

“Bobby said someth’n weird earlier that's got me thinking,” Dean hesitates for a moment almost like he’s second guessing even bringing it up, “he uh,” another slight pause, brows furrowing, “he seems to think i’m dating Cas.” he takes a deep breath after he says this, a common action when he gets too worked up over something.

The younger Winchesters' brows crease in confusion at this, Dean taking this as a sign that his brother finds the notion absurd lets out a relieved breath. His relief is only short lived, Sam shaking his head slightly before questioning, “Is that it?” Dean's expression hardens, agitation returning and causing his shoulders to tense.

“The hell do you mean ‘is that it’, this is a big deal!”

Sam lets out a small laugh at his brother's frustration, “Was he not accepting?”

The anger leaves Deans features, a look of confusion taking it’s place, “The fuck does that mean?”

“Was he not accepting of your relationship with cas?” Sam now wears a look of confusion mirroring Dean’s. The older man stops pacing at this question, brows furrowing even further than Sam thought possible.

“What relationship?” The anger gone from Dean’s voice, tone now mired in confusion.

Sam looks at his brother like he’s lost his mind, “The relationship you have with Cas,” he searches Dean’s face for any sign that the man is joking, not finding any he pushes on, “You guys have been dating for months.”

Dean seems to short circuit at this, blinking several times before letting out a disbelieving scoff, “I am not dating Cas,” a nervous laugh escapes him, “That’s insane, I knew you were crazy but not that crazy.”

Sam stares blankly at him and Dean rushes to continue, “I mean the idea of Cas and I dating is laughable,” another nervous laugh accompanied by a growing redness in his face, “Why would you even think that?”

Sam’s eyebrows shoot up in disbelief at the question, a sharp bark of laughter leaving him before he can stop it. He tries again to find any sign that his brother is joking but the man's expression is steely, jaw clenched in frustration, “Oh wow, you’re serious.” At this Dean lets out an angry huff opening his mouth to start speaking before closing it again, teeth grinding together.

“For starters, you guys act like an old married couple all the time,” Dean opens his mouth to disagree but Sam cuts him off, “you guys also frequently gaze into each other's eyes for extended periods of time.”

“We do not!”

“Just last week you guys had a whispered discussion before staring into each other's eyes for five minutes,” Dean’s expression turns contemplative, “five minutes might not be accurate actually,” Sam thinks for a moment, “It was probably longer, I didn't stand around to time it.”

Dean releases an irritated noise before rushing to defend himself, “We were having a moment!” Sam’s expression turns amused at the sentence and Dean jumps to amend it, “A bro moment! A totally normal, non romantic bro moment!”

Sam quirks a brow at this, a teasing smile threatening to overcome his features. Dean lets out another frustrated sound, “It’s a normal dude thing, it’s what pals do!” Sam kind of wants to let Dean continue floundering, if only to see how many synonyms he can find for the word ‘bro’; he decides against it, deciding to put Dean out of his misery.

With a gentle sigh the younger man pushes himself up so he’s sitting fully upright, “Bobby and I aren't the only ones who think you guys are together,” He thinks for a moment, “Actually, I'm pretty sure you are the only one that doesn't think you guys are dating.”

Dean is quiet at this causing him to continue, “I don't know man, it's something you should think about,” Sam stands and walks over to the door with the intent to find something for dinner, “maybe you should talk to cas about this.'' With that he pulls the door open not waiting for the other man to respond, and without sparing another glance in Dean’s direction he walks down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Dean stands motionless for a few minutes before managing to snap himself out of the daze the conversation had left him in. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, he makes the short trek to his own bedroom; Closing the door behind him and letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, he lets his mind wander to memories of all of the interactions he and Cas had had recently.

Sure they were close, their relationship probably closer than most other mens, but that didn't mean they were together! Sure they had kissed a few times when they were both a little too drunk but that didn't mean anything! It was normal to kiss your bro when you had a few too many. This line of thinking does nothing to quell the internal turmoil he was feeling; his mind now stuck on memories of the kisses they had shared on rare occasions that were never discussed once they were sober.

Dean huffs a bitter laugh, “I don't even like men.” The phrase feels wrong as it leaves his mouth. He had never really given much thought to whether or not he liked men, but now that he was thinking about it he’s met with a startling realization, “Oh god, do i?”

He thinks back to all of the men that he had ever found attractive, the ones he was a bit too fascinated by; having written off the fascination as a friendly interest at the time, he finds himself realizing that some of the interest really wasn't all that friendly.

His mind wanders to cas, remembering all of the things they had done together that had, at the time, seemed innocent and friendly; now that he’s looking back on them they seem to be a little bit too intimate to be friendly. There was also that one dream he had a few weeks back that had made being around cas very awkward for a few days, the memory of the dream alone making his face heat up. He loses track of the amount of time he stays lost in thought, his mind spinning in circles as he thinks about the dynamic he has with the angel.

He reaches a conclusion that makes him suck in a sharp breath, “Oh god, i'm in love with cas.” It comes out as a disbelieving whisper. He doesn't know what to do with realization but now that he’s said it outloud it feels like the most obvious thing in the world.

A Few Days Earlier

Dean can’t help but watch Cas's side profile as the man takes another swig from the almost empty bottle of whiskey; Dean had tapped out before the bottle had even been opened, the angel needing way more alcohol than Dean could stomach to even get a buzz. The hunter isn’t quite sure how many bottles of assorted liquor cas had drunk at this point but it was clear the man was feeling the effects of them, his eyes a little droopy as if he was struggling to see clearly. Dean wasn’t in much better shape, his eyes struggling to focus as he watched the angel’s Adam's apple bob as he drank. Without realizing that he was even moving he reached up and grabbed the bottle from Cas's hands, taking a quick drink of it before setting it down in front of them.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Dean's tone is light when he says this, almost teasing. Cas meets his eyes with a dazed smile and Dean’s eyes get stuck on the curve of his lips.

He wants to kiss him. The thought doesn't scare him like he thinks it should, he supposes it wouldn't be the first drunken kiss the pair had shared; alcohol acting as a cover for the real emotions at play that Dean really didn't want to deal with.

Before he can think better of it he leans in, cas letting out a surprised noise as their lips meet before melting into the kiss. The thought that they shouldn’t be doing this crosses Dean's mind but he stamps it down quickly when he feels cas reach up and tangle his fingers in his hair. They stay like that until dean pulls away slightly to suck in a few panting breaths, their foreheads stay touching as they stare into each other's eyes. Dean remembers, bitterly, that tomorrow this would become another one of the little moments that he's too afraid to discuss. With that floating around his head he leans back in with a little bit more force than necessary, their teeth clacking together as their mouths meet.

Present Day

He blinks away the memory, shaking his head slightly and digging in his pocket for his phone, he finds cas’s contact and hesitates for a moment before hitting the call button. The sound of the phone ringing does nothing to calm the anxiety he’s feeling but before he can second guess himself cas picks up.

Cas answers the phone with a soft, “Hello?” and dean feels his heart in his throat.

“I think I'm in love with you.” He had not meant to blurt it out like that, and he curses quietly to himself as he waits for Cas's response.

“I mean it would be kind of weird if you weren’t given that we’re dating.”

Dean pauses at this, a flood of emotions hitting him and causing him to let out a sound reminiscent of a gasp, “What?”

“We’re dating,” there's a pause from cas and the rustle of papers being moved, dean briefly wonders what he’s doing before he realizes what the man had said. Dean's mouth opens and shuts a few times as he struggles to find the appropriate words.

Cas continues speaking, seemingly oblivious to the internal struggle that Dean is having, “We had a date a few days ago,” more rustling, “we got pizza and then got drunk and made out.”

Dean is at a loss for words, he lets out a choked sound before starting to laugh, the kind of laugh that makes your sides hurt. It takes him a minute to regain his composure, wiping a tear that had escaped during the laughing fit he takes a deep breath before responding, “Yeah i guess we did.”

“Are you feeling alright?” The question sounds so sincere it almost causes Dean to spiral into laughter again but he manages to hold it in.

The hunter pauses for a moment thinking about the question, “Yeah,” he’s smiling so hard his cheeks are starting to hurt, “i’m great.”

[lovemyromance]

Bro the thing is - I'm not even anti-Elucien.

If SJM were to do a full 180 and suddenly ACOTAR 5 is all about how Lucien comes to Velaris and actually spends time with Elain and Elain starts to slowly fall for him and they have whatever XYZ cute moments - I'd be down!

I'd read that book. I have no shame in admitting it. Smash.

If SJM were to suddenly write Elucien giving each other the time of day and finding whatever "healing" in each other - cool- that's fine - smash.

But what we have been shown of their relationship thus far in the books - I legitimately cannot ship that. There is nothing for me to root for?

"But they're fated mates"

Yeah that means jack shit to me because I'm a human woman. Why would I put value in a fictional concept over love - a very real and human concept.

Elain & Lucien - as they have been written right now - literally do not have a relationship?? Let alone a romantic one I want to root for. They ignore each other. Live apart from each other all year - seemingly without issue. Elain doesnt even want to be in the same room as him. She shrinks away from him. She has a wary look in her eyes when she looks at him. She makes sure she never sits next to to him. She doesn't use any of his gifts.

So just tell me - what am I rooting for? What about their current relationship is supposed to be worth my interest? Why would I want them together if they're like THAT? That's not a romance - that's not even acquaintances. That's a pass from me.

On top of all that, we have the introduction of a male Elain actually seems to want. They have had build up - far more than Elucien has. Azriel is constantly written on the page with Elain and vice versa. Whether it's when his shadows light up at her smile or when Elain's potato steam rises like Azriel's shadows. Like why did SJM even write that about potatoes? Nobody has EVER looked at the steam from potatoes and thought "wow it looks like shadows 🤩"

They've been explicitly tied together on page countless times, far more than Elucien has even though they're "fated mates".

Not tied together through fan-theories of cloaks and sunlight and flowers and ugly black dresses.

Canonically, Elain & Azriel's is the only romantic relationship on the page.

So everything Eluciens are rooting for - is just the hope that "one day" Elain will get over it and suddenly she and Lucien will be together. Suddenly, Lucien & Elain will have feelings for each other and be in love blah blah.

Y'ALL ARE TRYING TO FIND EVIDENCE FOR A SHIIP THAT IS NONEXISTENT ON THE PAGE.

That's what bothers me. Elucien is currently not together, not interested in each other, not even around each other in any proximity.

All this debate is about current state Elriel vs pre-successful Elucien??

It's giving ... that one Jason Mendoza line in the Good Place where he says "I'm not a failed DJ... I'm pre-successful."

"It's not a dead ship - it's pre-successful!"

It's like.. let's ignore what is actually written in the text ... so we can argue about how they're not gonna work out bc XYZ reason... even though the other pairing isn't even talking to each other right now.

"All this is buildup for Elucien" how are y'all saying that if we don't have the next book yet? 😭😭 Can I then say... well your buildup is just buildup for Ultimate Elriel Engame?? Uno +4? Reverse reverse? Where does it end?

Build up - as the name implies - has to BUILD UP TO SOMETHING. How y'all saying "Elain and Lucien ignoring each other is buildup for Elucien" if there is no Elucien in sight??

I'm telling you rn - once there is an Elucien in sight - on the page - smash, idc.

But until then - I have literally no reason to doubt Elriel? So why would I consider Elucien an endgame ship if there is no endgame in sight for them on the page?

[rachetmath]

Jaune was working as usual until he heard his scroll. He looks to see Blake calling him. He answers.

Blake: Jaune we need to talk.

Jaune: *putting a baby to sleep while controlling kids* Blake I am a little busy at the moment.

Blake: Jaune we need to discuss why you quit your position.

Jaune: I don’t know maybe because I’m not needed and might as well use my time to get stronger and probably be more useful.

Yang: Jaune come on you were plenty useful in the nursing.

Jaune: Yang they have medical professionals. They were fine without me. Plus I go back there every morning. I never left. I even have them on my scroll. They call me too. So what’s the problem?

Robyn: Look we just need you to start pulling your weight and do your job.

Jaune: *triggered*

Kid #1: Ooo you messed up lady.

Jaune”s teacher 1: Honey you felt that, right?

Jaune’s teacher 2: Mm-hm someone about to get their ass beat. And my son is about to do it.

Jaune’s teacher 1: Honey we already got ten kids.

Jaune’s teacher 2: And I love them but their still children. They don’t know how bad adulthood is yet.

Jaune: Little bi- *remembers the children* You know what how about we have a meeting about this okay?

Robyn: Fine.

The next day everyone gathered around for the meeting with Jaune being in the room first. After everyone finished what they had to say, Jaune presented himself and replied.

Jaune: So, everyone good? Okay, I’ll make this quick. I have been doing my job better than almost all of you. Almost.

Qrow: Jaune what do you mean you have been messing up-

Jaune: I know the man who can change into a bird and is a legend yet still can’t watch over a maiden and his nieces for shit is talking to me.

Qrow: Now hold up son I’ll beat-

Jaune: Bro you are the reason Clover is dead. And the reason Tyrian escaped along with Robinhood over there.

Robyn: Hey.

Jaune: And speaking of you, Ms. Hill, how the hell was Penny defending your city better than you or any of your Happy Huntresses considering the amount of citizens who got hurt? 

May: Hey we had to evacuate our citizens cause your team deserted us. 

Jaune: Well sorry, it is not like one of my friends wasn’t kidnapped and was about to die at any given moment. 

Yang: You could have helped.

Jaune: Bitch you told me not to fight. Hell we almost got him back too. Oh. And we were planning to come back. However, we were captured because I was trying to warn someone of an upcoming attack. Which happened and yet some stubborn mother fuckers wouldn’t listen. Cause they were fixated on looking for Penny. 

Winter: Mm he did. But you

Jaune: Yeah-yeah I know, the Ironwood and Ruby bs. And speaking of that wouldn’t James have killed everyone anyway if we hadn’t stopped him?

Qrow: Not to mention Harriet almost dropped a whole bomb on Mantle to kill everyone.

Harriet: Okay rude.

Yang: Okay Jaune-

Jaune: Bitch don’t get me- don’t get me started on you. You have been getting your ass beat as of late. Like in Atlas and Mantle, I don't know how that’s possible, but me and my men, have been carrying you throughout the whole ordeal. All you have been doing was not knowing how to shut the hell up.  

Yang: um…

Jaune: Like you was talking about the Ace-ops and Winter following orders yet you were following Ozpin’s,Ruby’s, Ironwood's and better yet, you were following my orders. At least I was coming up with a plan. I was helping Ren. Being a leader. What were you doing other than Blake?

Blake: Alright Jaune, calm down, You have made your point.

Jaune: Oh no the fuck I haven't. Are you Ruby's sister?

Blake: No.

Jaune: Mm I wonder what drew me to that conclusion considering you have been acting like her sister more than a blond brawler over here? Both moms left her too, yet she looked for the one who never raised her.  

Yang: *tears dropping from her eyes*

Nora: Wow Jaune, that's cold.

Jaune: Nora. Ren. My supposedly two remaining teammates. 

Ren: Come on not again. Jaune, Ruby already told us everything. What can you possibly say that she hasn't told us yet?

Jaune: For someone who was on James's dick you never once tried to snitch on us. In fact you been kinda rude half the time.Then you decided to speak out against Harriet like you and Yang didn't argue before we got caught.

Ren: That was because she was insulting Pyrrha.

Jaune: Which I understand but I thought we were past that already.

Ren: Well I was the reason Winter agreed to your plan. And I was the reason we survived the whale to find Oscar.

Jaune: Emerald and Hazel saved Oscar before we had a chance. We basically went in there for nothing. And you almost started a fight with Harriet. 

Winter: Also I was a little hesitant but I agreed to the plan. Mainly more hostages. You wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t jumped in.

Jaune: More importantly if I were to have thrown the relic into the mix, which had one question left by the way,  you're telling me Harriet wouldn't agree to let us go. Mainly because they were looking for Penny regardless.

Nora: Wow Jaune you would thrown Penny under the bus that easily?

Jaune: If it meant a negotiation with James, probably, yes. And Nora, weren't you unconscious throughout half that experience? 

Nora: I saved team RWBY.

Jaune: Who hasn't? Cause I recall, Qrow, Oobleck, Gylanda, us, CVFY, Ace-ops, James, and Ozpin. You ain’t special.

Oscar: Damn.

Jaune: Oscar you decided to meet James and try to talk. After he made us wanted criminals. What were you thinking?

Oscar: At least I tried to reassure him. 

Jaune: And you got shot. Mother fucker you were wasting time and our efforts. Next time no one might not be able to help you. And Ozpin? It took a whole pile of shit to happen for you to finally came out and help? 

Oscar(Ozpin): Mr. Arc it was not that bad.

Jaune: He got shot. Manhandled by a Grimm. And beat up by an old man. Come on.

Ozpin: … …

Jaune: Don’t get me started on how you fucked up years before.

Pietro: Jaune. You killed my-

Jaune: I killed Penny and saved Winter. Winter was Ironwood's second in command and was in charge of a whole army during a full-scale invasion. The fact Penny had Weiss, Ruby, Blake, Yang, and Nora to choose from proves she knew all of them weren't up to the task. Plus I was trying to help her but my options were limited. I did what I had to. I’m sorry.

Pietro: You could have-

Jaune: Healed her? I TRIED!!! However let's discuss how I have been carrying every damn body on my back. I had to help Ren multiple times when using his semblance. I had to heal Oscar. Heal Nora. Amplify Weiss and Penny when it came to her virus. Hell fourth wall breaking did anyone think for a second I amplified Ren ahead of time so he can mask those same thousands of people.

RWBY fan: …. ….

Jaune: All that while running, fighting and surviving while having barely enough sleep or energy. Hell, my aura kept breaking multiple times. I am surprised I haven't passed out yet.

Winter: Mm he made his point.

Weiss: Winter, why are you siding with him so quickly?

Winter: First off I am alive because of him. Second, Weiss, you lied to my face. Like I was open with you and you never once came to me with the truth. I'm your sister. You're lucky I was willing to side with you at all.

Jaune: Facts. And for someone who lived in Atlas, you barely did shit to save it. 

Weiss: I sent ships to help Mantle.

Winter: That's the thing though Mantle. You did nothing for Atlas at all. And how did you send those ships?

Weiss: Well it was mainly Whitley.

Winter: I rest my case.

Jaune: Also aren't you Ruby’s partner? Why are Oscar, Blake, and myself filling in those shoes more than you? 

Yang: Well in the Ever After you-

Jaune: I was trying to find a way home by learning the story. But as the saying goes, “Don’t trust everything you read.”  And sorry for protecting a civilization from killing itself even though that was the only thing keeping me sane.

Yang: *silent*  

Blake: They came back though.

Jaune: They don’t remember me or their past lives. They died and came back only to die again. Not to mention I had to leave my second and long-time companion and place her in the care of a rat. Not only that I had a whole map of the Ever After. I wasn't playing around. I was seriously trying to find a way home. Yet you called me crazy.

Blake: *silent* 

Jaune: Here is what I am saying, true enough I can't fight for anything but I at least help in areas none of you can seem to grasp. I have to sacrifice my mental and physical well-being to support ya’ll. I have been doing my job as a huntsman, teammate and a friend than almost any of you. 

Nora: But Jaune you’re our leader we need you.

Jaune: I recall the majority of times you two barely follow my orders. Ruby is your leader. I don’t recall having a team move with either of you. Not just that you have Oscar and Emerald so fuck both of you. 

Ren: Are we that bad of a team?

Jaune: Yeah, and what’s crazier is I have a family I haven’t seen in years yet I’m still prioritizing a city full of savages, and you all as my friends when I can just pull a Raven and leave you be.

Yang: DUDE!!

Jaune: I’m just saying I could leave and nothing would change. Now I’m leaving cause I got a job to do!*leave*

Qrow: Well damn.

Nora: I guess we all made mistakes.

Ren: Yes.

Weiss: I’m going to call Ruby and see if we can hang out.

Yang: Can we make that a double?

Oscar: Um Nora do you think-

Nora: Calm down Oscar. Jaune may be upset but he’ll be fine. He wouldn’t leave us like that.

A few weeks later.

Ruby: Hey everyone we’re back.

Team RWBY saw a crying Nora in Ren’s arms and defeated Qrow comforted by Oscar. Ruby looks to see a letter and picks it up. Ruby and her team read the letter. Afterward, Yang is shocked, and Weiss is sad as Blake comforts them. Ruby on the other hand steps out and then stares at the sky. A tear flows down her eye.

Ruby:  Well, at least you have the common decency to tell me what you’re up to. But still…*sigh* Hope you find what you're looking for my friend. And… … Please… come back safely.

Jaune was flying on a Nevermore along with Emerald who snuck aboard to his surprise. Jaune, though irritated, continued flying as she held onto him.

Emerald: I can’t believe you tamed a Nevermore. 

Jaune: Yeah-yeah anyways why did you follow me here?

Emerald: Hey someone has to watch your back.

Jaune: You are the last person I want to cover my back.

Emerald: Well don’t be rude. But also…

Jaune: What?

Emerald: Jaune… Salem is after you.

Jaune: Really? Why? I don’t recall being a silver-eyed warrior or Ozpin’s vessel. So why me? Also, how do you know?

Emerald: Mercury told me and even he doesn’t know. He just overheard Tyrian about you.

Jaune: I fought with him a week ago. (Should’ve killed him too.) Still doesn’t make sense though. Did he hear anything from Cinder?

Emerald: No. 

Jaune: Look I already left the kingdom. Cinder mainly wants Ruby dead. And Salem will be too preoccupied to do anything about me. We’re under clear.  

Somewhere in Vacuo, Tyrian and Mercury were speaking to Salem and Cinder through one of her sphere Grimm. Salem hears Jaune has left the kingdom of Vacuo and is enraged.

Salem: WHAT?!

Tyrian: I’m sorry mistress. Please calm down.

Salem: *breaths* Very well. Cinder will meet you both in Vacuo. Therefore we will split our efforts into two. You three along with our allies will search and kill the Summer Maiden along with team RWBY and their annoying friends. I will send a request to half of them to assist me in finding him. I may even need them.

Tyrian: Them ma’am?

Salem: Yes, them.

Tyrian: Very well my queen. We will not fail you.

Salem ends the call while Cinder stands before her with an angered look in her eye.

Salem: What is it, my dear?

Cinder: Why are you after Jaune?

Salem: Why do you ask?

Cinder Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude but that boy isn’t worth our efforts at all.

Salem: Hm… really? So how come he’s alive?

Cinder: By sheer luck of course.

Salem: True. However, there is no doubt he has gotten in the way of our plans. Like with killing the Schnee girl. Or getting the winter maiden’s power. 

Cinder: *nervous* Those were my failures, ma’am.

Salem: Regardless I need him alive.

Cinder: But why though.

Salem: His semblance and aura. With his semblance along with Gillian's, I might be able to push our army further to evolution. But I need his power to do it. 

Cinder: Then allow me to-

Salem: *snaps* 

Cinder was shut off as she could feel pain from her Grimm arm. Salem turns around and looks to Cinder and say as she closes in on her.

Salem: I recall sending you to handle said children and what happened? Oh. You costed me knowledge. You lost the maiden powers to another huntress. Hazel and Emerald betrayed us. And worse of all you lost two useful people. 

Cinder: But I gave you creation. Surly that makes up- *feels greater pain*

Salem; Ever since you came back you have been getting cocky and more foolish by the day. Draining my resources. Right now, all I want from you to do is simply play nice and follow orders. Like a good little doll. 

Cinder was terrified as she stared at Salem’s as she leaned down to look closer at Cinder’s frightened gaze.

Salem: Understand this Cinder. I was the reason you managed to obtain and control that power you have in your possession. However, you so far have continued to prove how undeserving you are of said power and responsibility that comes with it. So let me break this down for you. If you so much as make a mistake, further disrupt my plans, or worse fail me…

Cinder: … …. 

Salem: I will take everything from you. Do you understand child?

Cinder: Yes m- *screams* Yes… my queen.

Salem: Good. Now leave. 

Cinder gets up and leaves for Vacuo. Salem on the other hand walks around her castle until she reaches her destination. There she opens a huge door. She walks through the door only to be greeted by multiple eyes.

Salem: Hello my children.

???: Greetings Mother.

Salem: Mother is sorry. I wish I didn’t have to send you to do this. But there is no one but you that I trust to do this task

???: Anything Mother.

Salem uses her Grimm to present an image of the target.

Salem: Find this boy. Do however you feel it takes to bring him back alive. 

???: May we have fun hunting him Mother.

Salem: *smile* Of course, my children. You may torture him and do as you see fit.

???: Yes mother. It shall be done.

Salem: Then go.