#.... i mean i could also look for some weights on text generation but my point is

[lonelyslutavatar]

Listen i love your art very much but with all that has been happening with AI and artists...we writers honestly feel like we might be next, people are already making ais that write stories for them. I understand that this is just for fun for you but thats how ai art started too and now you hear about people devaluing artists n their skill n hard work because suddenly they can make 'art' with a press of their finger so why should they pay for the 'same thing'. Creator to creator, please dont contribute to this mess

oh yeah, no, i totally understand. I'm never gonna publish the model itself nor will i ever do anything to contribute to that mess but I'm a curious person and will still do it to satiate that curiousity but that model is never gonna leave my pc

[spiderrmax]

main 4 + gen. dating hcs

synopsis: what the title says! general dating headcanons author's note: i always feel like my cartman is ooc. am trying tho i swear. also this was typed up b4 i got requests :) am working on those currently!

Stan Marsh

Is a very chill boyfriend

Was nervous at first though. Definitely got nauseous on your guys first few dates but it died around a few months into your relationship.

The type to send you cat relationship posts with only a caption of “us”

Lets you borrow his jacket when it’s really cold

Enjoys holding your hand; will grab at it unconsciously whenever he’s near you

Doesn’t care a lot about school but will take notes for you if you are absent

Will text you random updates throughout the day. “Cartman and Kyle are fighting again.” “I just saw a cute kitten” “listened to that song you recommended. Was good.”

feel like he's the type to make spotift playlist of songs thay remind him of you or songs you recommended him

Doesn't mind doing the matching couple things as long as it’s not too corny. Will buy matching converse or sweatshirts

Not the biggest on pet names, unless you’re upset or it’s in private; he goes for the classics: babe, love, beautiful

He will always partner up with you if you guys are in a class together. The teacher will mention partner work and you guys instantly make eye contact.

Kyle Broflovski

Is very sweet

A stereotypical romantic; i talked about this in my love language post but he definitely googles ideas for dates and gifts. would have a pinterest board just called "y/n" filled w anything he wants to try and recreate

Any google doc notes he has instantly gets shared to him

if you guys are on a doc at the same time he is definitely talking to you in the comments. he has to reply to every "hi!" you type. he can't help it.

Cliché but he loves study dates. he will always meet you at the library to study and chill for a bit. He will unconsciously stare at you and gets embarrassed if you point it out. The date always ends with him taking you out for coffee or lunch/dinner depending on the time.

Isn’t very open about your relationship; likes keeping most stuff behind closed doors.

However it’s not a secret. People know you are together. although not the biggest PDA fan will hold your hand if someone is looking at you too long.

In the early stages of your relationship, he’d get flustered so fast. You’d smile and wave at him in the halls and he’d turn a bright red.

The kinda guy to drag his thumb over your knuckles when you guys hold hand

I think he'd be a forehead kisser. It's so domestic and he'd love doing it.

Will always walk you home from the bus stop/school. Even if it’s a bit out of his way.

Is extremely comfortable around you. Will let you see his hair and take his hat off in closed doors. Will laugh when you try to wear it, because it doesn’t fit, but finds it cute. is only slightly amused at your attempt to impersonate him.

Eric Cartman

Is so cocky he’s dating you

Constantly brings you up in a conversation. He doesn’t even mean to most times, but it happens so casually

Doesn’t really enjoy sharing, but will give you some of his snacks if you look down. He’ll say you owe him but won’t really hold you to it.

Spam messages you constantly, especially if he knows you aren’t doing anything. They get more clingy as he messages you until you reply. Then he plays it off like he didn’t even want your attention; he was just bored.

Loves when you wear his clothes. Doesn’t like when you do it so much in public but once you had to borrow a shirt because you spilled something on yours. He just stared at you, in awe of how good you could look in something of his.

Will try on assignments he is working with you on. He respects you more and knows his slacking off will directly affect you. He still doesn’t put in 100% effort but you don’t have to carry his whole weight.

Loves calling you those really obnoxious pet names. Finds them so funny because you hate them.

Loves it even more when you call him a pet name. At first he will mock you for calling him something like "honey," but then he won't be able to stop thinking about it. Will reluctantly tell you you can keep calling him that stuff. But not in front of the guys.

This also applies to kissing. He will mock you the first you kiss his cheek as a goodbye but now he leans his head towards you if you're getting up to go.

His love language is making fun of you. Will call you stupid and ugly constantly but will throw hands with anyone else who dares try and call you that.

Kenny Mccormick

loves loves LOVES showing you off

Will bring you up in conversation, but isn’t as braggy as Cartman gets. Just loves you so much.

He is also with you as much as he can be. wIll walk you to each of your classes even if it causes him to be late.

The type to carry any books you’re holding while you walk. Will even balance them in one hand so his other is free to grab onto yours.

The type to wait by your locker to walk you home. He will rush to get there before you do.

Will pull down his hood when he’s with you for the sole reason he loves when you play with his hair. Enjoys putting his head in your lap, it’s his way of inviting you to do it.

loves listening to you talk! no matter what you are rambling about you have kenny's full attentions.

 Although known as a serial flirter/perv, it dies down when he gets into a relationship with you. He’s very loyal and won't risk your relationship or your trust

Comes over to your house a bunch. Your parents are used to him coming over frequently. He probably has clothes left there and his own toothbrush.

Loves playing video games with you! Even if you’re bad. Will have you sit between his legs so he can help with your hand placement if it’s a single game. (In mario kart, his go to is princess rosaline or daisy)

[bleachbleachbleach]

9/22 - 9/29/2024

Aaaaand several months later, Renji 11 is complete (again).

Which brings me to a couple additional milestones:

1) I finished a full draft of my banner!

My idea here is that each chapter would get some little icon that relates to something about the chapter, as well as the narrating POV's division flower. I'm trying to decide whether it matters if the item is, uh, legible. That's supposed to be a baggie of manju but they kind of look like tomatoes. Is it weird that the two images are totally different line weights? And even if it is, do I trust myself to draw 20 different glyphs with the same line weight?? The stamp effect/weathering could probably be more intentional--for now I quickly took a dry media brush to a Layer Mask to see if it could effect what I wanted. It's because I am bothered by the vector-smoothness of the weathering in the font itself when the text is that large.

Apparently I did the low-res mockup for this on December 14, 2023, so at least it's been less than a year?! It also means that I've continued to like this design, even after 10 months. (Here's the partial V2 I didn't move forward with.)

2) It's my first time in the six-figure club! Which is impressive to me, because I don't generally consider myself a longfic person, and I've never written a singular fic of this scale before, for any fandom.

At this point, this project is causing me a lot of cognitive dissonance, ngl. Because this fic represents the majority of my Bleach fandom experience (I've been working on it since 2021, and it's the sequel to my first two Bleach fics, which I wrote before we made this blog). In my mind, it basically IS my Bleach identity. But it's not meaningfully reflected in this blog, which is... well, it's us? B3 IS our Bleach identity? Not that our original posts are what the majority of people follow this blog for, but still. What an identity crisis!

The obvious solution is to post it, and I do feel like I've moved on emotionally enough from Part 1 that I could probably survive that! But I also kind of feel like, don't I already have plenty of things to survive right now? 🫠

--

I'm undecided on what I want to tackle next. I'd like to finish my revision round for Rukia 7 / Rukia 10 / Renji 11, but that's the kind of thing that requires more unbroken time, and that does not really work with my current "oh god 10 minutes, GO" state of being. So I feel like if I want to try that, I also need an additional place where all I need to do is drop in and write lines. They can't be in Hitsugaya 12, though, because I've written as much of that as I can without knowing how the Hisagi 9 revisions pan out.

I have distinct memories of having very pleasant daydreams about how those revisions should go (very specifically on US 127, in weather non-conducive to daydreaming), but I looked over those scenes last night and HAHAHA. I HOPE I WROTE NOTES FOR THOSE DAYDREAMS because while I do remember writing them as written, I do not have any distinct memories about how they needed to be changed, rip

[dekusheroacademia]

Who is the deuteragonist of MHA (spoilers: Bakugou)

I have to be honest, I find most of these debates quite useless, so I wanted to explain why. I do think all three main answers (Bakugou, Shigaraki, All Might) are valid based on how much each reader weights different sides of the definition of deuteragonist.

I am going to explain here why I think the majority of people believe Bakugou to be the deuteragonist, and in general I do believe it too. I added the manga spoilers tag so that people can freely talk about recent plot points.

Now, it is been a while since I studied any literature, so I will cite definitions from different websites.

Deuteragonist, from the merriam webster dictionary, is the actor taking the part of second importance in a classical Greek drama or who serves as a foil to another. The word does come from the Greek theater world. Protagonist is the main character involved in the struggle given by the plot. https://literarydevices.net/deuteragonist/ defines it as:

So it CAN be an antagonist (someone can have both roles of antagonist and deuteragonist, by this definition), and the important part is "being the second main character". Wikipedia gives this definition (these are what they cite, in second pic):

Here are some examples from my personal favourite literature texts.

In Romeo and Juliet, Benvolio or Mercutio might be considered the deuteragonist. If you are not too familiar with the play, Benvolio is one of the Montagues, and Romeo's confidant, but also a friend of both Mercution and Romeo. Mercutio is the "neutral, non neutral" party, and definitely one of the protagonists, but his story is cut short when he is killed. I have seen Benvolio mainly chosen the the deuteragonist because he acts as a close companion to Romeo, but Mercutio is the one who emotionally changes the path of Romeo's story (his death leads to the whole revenge thing). Important note: you can have more than one deuteragonist. It is not a "only one prize for one character only". Furthermore, notice how Tybalt is not seen as the deuteragonist even if he is the one changing the course of the story (he acts as an antagonist, and ends up killing Mercutio, and then being killed by Romeo).

Another example is Watson in Sherlock Holmes. Watson is Holmes' companion and the deuteragonist for basically all the books. Here the deuteragonist is such because he acts as a companion, confidant and friend of Holmes, but also contrasts to Holmes (they sometimes disagree on stuff), not to mention the fact that he simply is the most present character after Holmes.

Another deuteragonist is Marius from Les Miserables, where he falls into the "second protagonist" role. I wanted to cite this in particular because Les Mis is a quite long narrative, and Marius only appears in the last part. The two only interacts briefly, and here the term deuteragonist is mainly used as second protagonist given that the story follows Marius too, after his appearance. Marius also partecipates in Valjean's character development (by getting him out of his shell, so to say). Notice how Javert (my favourite) appears multiple times in the story, is in conflict to Valjean, is the opposite and complementary to Valjean and the antagonist, but because he does not partecipate in Valjean's character arc (the opposite is true tho), and because he is not as present as Marius, he is not defined as the deuteragonist. (By the way, when I say that Valjean and Javert are complementary and in contrast I mean.... literally. Hugo created both of their characters by dividing the characteristics of a real existing person named Eugène François Vidocq). Yes, Valjean/Javert is my ultimate otp, but this is a discourse for another time.

Let's look now at more definitions. From: https://masterclass.com/articles/what-is-a-deuteragonist-in-literature… The deuteragonist can SOMETIMES assume different roles (ex. sidekick, lover, antagonist), so Shigaraki could be one ONLY if present in a story and playing a particular major role:

From the same source: an important part of being the deuteragonist is being a foil for the protagonist and the role they have in the protagonist's character development:

In the case of MHA, I think All Might and Bakugou could be deuteragonist, but I see a lot of people suggesting Shigaraki. Let's see all that is needed by pulling together these definitions:

Second main character (who struggle and overcomes)

Second main character (presence)

Confidant, companion, someone who helps the protagonist (but might switch to antagonist)

Act as a foil to the protagonist, embody similar qualities

Embody opposite qualities to contrast the protagonist

Has a role in the character development of the protagonist.

As I said up above, before we go point by point, keep in mind that everything has a certain level of subjectivity. There is only 1 point that has an objective measurement, and that is point 2. Let's start with point 1:

Now point (2): Second main character (presence). I determined this by counting number of panels of each character. Bakugou here is the one with the most presence after Deku, following we have Todoroki, very similar number to All Might. Shigaraki here is lower (almost half of Bkg presence):

Now, points 3 to 5:

And the final point, point (6), is about the role in the character development of the protagonist (Deku). This is particular important. For a more comprehensive descritption of Bakugou's role as a step ladder for Deku's character development, please read this before continuing:

Summarizing:

And here is a summary of all 6 points. The only character who not only fits all three but also fits the only point (2) that has objectivity in it, is Bakugou:

Keep in mind that there is always a level of subjectivity in interpreting this point. The only objective one is the panel count (which Bakugou has, given he is the most present character in the story). But I do think Bakugou is the only one who best fit the multi-faceted idea of the deuteragonist. I also added Shigaraki a yes to point 6, but I do think his role in aiding Deku's character development is much smaller, and much more secondary, than Bakugou and All Might's.

[nfumbewalk]

About Me: Very Abridged Synopsis

Wearing my favorite old & tattered Santa Muerte shirt, my urn necklace with Rodolfo's grave dirt & my sacred ankh both for spiritual purposes and in salute to Rodolfo's MC, the Free Souls.

So, about me post. All posts are about me, but this one covers favorites & shit. 😊

Current space: Not bad. As usual but abilities are heightened. Moon is Full & in Pisces. No wonder the energy is wild. I'm a Pisces rising. Always gets me!

My Astrology: Aquarius, Cancer moon, Pisces rising. Mercury conjunct Mars (natural magician), placements for natural necromancer as well. I'm on the more dangerous side of necromancy because of my astro makeup. You get more water & air, watch out! My makeup is Watery Air, Aquarius signature.

Path: Created myself, but catching on: Muerteria. A solitary path that not only venerates muertos, but works with them exclusively for all of life's highs and lows, trials and tribulations, and everything in between. Some of us use magic with our muerto(s), others do not. Muerteria celebrates independence of thought and actions. Each of us in Muerteria represent a Greater Whole. One requirement for Muerteria is to read The Kybalion, a book about the Seven (7) Hermetic Laws. This is a foundational text of Muerteria. There are others. Are there gods? No. And, no, the muertos are not gods either. Veneration does not mean worship.

Devotee of: Muerteria & Santa Muerte.

Personal:

Height: 4'9"

Weight: I ain't fat. Here's me & Aleister again: (clothes are so baggy, wearing a loose size 12 pants &a loose size large top). He's 5'8" but looks tall to me! That's the average height for men in my family. Though my grandpa Arthur, the Freemason, was only 5'4"!

Ok. Anyway.

Mental Health? No, not touching on that. Just know that I had electroshock therapy because of severe depression & it cured me. I'm overly anxious & have PTSD. I've had the same shrink for 12 years & just got a new therapist.

Felonies? Almost. Skated by with a very serious Misdemeanor. I could have stayed in jail for a year, year & a half. But the judge at my arraignment said 20 months! 😢

Sooo what did I like about jail? NOTHING!!!

What did I hate about jail? EVERYTHING, but especially how cold it is & you get 1 blanket, the horrible food, having no rights, earning privileges, the inmates, being so LOUD, and medical waking me up at 1 AM to check my blood pressure! Oh, I failed to mention the young woman (about 18) who murdered two of her own babies! Weirdo fucking freak.

Favorites -

Music:

I'll start with my early influences. My mom got me started very very early with The Rolling Stones. I'm a life long fan of theirs. My dad liked old country, so I was heavily influenced by Johnny Cash, mostly. There was a lot of Kenny Rogers and Conway Twitty as well.

My brother is 8 years my senior and when I was about 12, he got me into 80's New Wave and introduced me to Siouxsie Sioux at 13. I was in 💖love💖!!! I started looking into the punk movement, from there I found a vampire book. It had goths & goth music in it. Found Bauhaus!! Looked at them at the music shop & bought a CD. Instant love! Peter Murphy sounded similar to my other love: Bowie!! 💖

There is so much music that I love. Currently number 1 is The Sisters of Mercy. Right now, I also love Babes in Toyland, Catholic Spit, The Devil & The Universe, Aghast, Stereo Taxic Device, Cocteau Twins (only up to Treasure album - don't really care for shoegaze or dreampop), Dead Spells, Savages, Malefixio (Spanish).

Books -

Occult: ONLY books published before a certain point. I'd say around 1975 or so, but there are good ones later. I just prefer old ones before '75 because I've found much more stability, no fluffy shit (there's some, but that's New Age, not magic & Witchcraft, generally), there's less of the 'good' vs. 'evil' bullshit, and there were more secrets contained within without being easily discovered. I've found gems that have never reached the internet. Seriously!

Other books -

I only read non-fiction. Bio's and true crime are my favorite. "The Executioner's Song," by Norman Mailer is my all time favorite! It's a true crime novel. I'm a Gary Gilmore fan. "Shot in the Heart," written by Mikal Gilmore is better. "Deviant," by Harold Schechter is a good one about ***Ed Gein - who my dad spent time around as a kid*** in small town Wisconsin! It was some time before 1958. My dad was about nine (9) years old. Dad described him as goofy & Elmer Fudd like, dumb acting.

Oh yeah - my mom almost got picked up by Ted Bundy!! Yikes! But yes, seriously, he was in Oregon and she was his type of girl. She had fast instincts, luckily.

Food -

Too much to write. I'd never complete this!

Crystals -

Amethyst - most versatile & radiates HTDE strongly. It charges very quickly in grave dirt.

Shungite: Gets rid of EMF, the muertos love that! Plus they are drawn to the 99% carbon of which this stone is composed of. Humans are carbon beings & the muertos know this. Shungite gives them the energy of the living! So does Orgonite.

Smoky Quartz: Another stone that's versatile & vibrates HTDE strongly. It's very protective and will help with grounding. Wear or carry this stone to a new graveyard, it helps tune in and protects against hostile muertos.

Regular Quartz: This is a stone that I use for multipurpose uses. It's protective, brings in muertos, holds muertos (if properly programmed), empowers everything its used for!

Jet: Used for mourning. I wear it all the time. Yes, I know it's not a crystal. Nor is it heavy. Don't buy French Jet. It's glass.

Obsidian: It's good if you like it & has many properties, like protection and grounding, but a lot of muertos don't like it much. I guess it's too sharp? My muerto doesn't mind it, but he's just neutral about it.

I have a ton more fav crystals but more favorite shit to go...

People -

My hubby. We're glued together. Hermits. My son. A few friends. My dads friend Natasha. That's about it. I don't favorite celebrities.

Movies -

Old Hollywood stuff. Natalie Wood. Greta Garbo, Bette Davis. Joan Crawford, Joan Fontaine, Orson Welles, all Hitchcock, Roman Polanski films - like Rosemary's Baby, Repulsion & The Ninth Gate; newer movies piss me off. I don't need sex in my face. If I want that, I'll watch a porno.

What I'm Known For:

Having a shit ton of useless knowledge about everything. My medical prowess. Being stubborn to a point of such frustration that ppl wanna kill me. I'm just sayin' got an Aquarius signature! Being extremely forgetful but not on purpose. Try having 120-250 joules of electricity on yer head!! I told my son that & he went totally silent for 2 minutes. He knows what joules are. He's a physicist. 😕

I'm also known for my Barstad sarcasm & humor (mom's side), which can go far beyond normal. Lol! I'm very simple & easy to please but don't tell many about that, I'm a total tomboy, if that even exists nowadays? Growing up, I was with my dad a lot, so I lived & breathed cars & junkyards were my sacred ground. Still love cars & will talk about them for hours. Older cars, that is. I still dislike fuel injection, but that's mostly earlier fuel injections, like throttle bodies. Don't think they use those anymore, hells no!

See? Total geek. Love my muertos & my cars. Think my machinist grandpa likes my technical side. I'm still talking to him. I recently channeled my grandpa Arthur, but he came in garbled. Needs work! Love grandpa's!! My dad was a very good one. Sure miss him. 😢

I do have one secret favorite! Old football!! Da Bears! Dick Butkus! And Walter Payton! I've been outed! Hate modern football! Boring, whistle blows too much, too many fines & penalties! Let em play!

That's all! Hope you got through this post in one piece.

M.M. 💖💀💖

[dovahnap]

On Vulnerability–

While I was still on Twitter and suffering from delusions of reference, I began to imagine that people were accusing me of not being ‘vulnerable.’ And regardless of the fact that I am undoubtedly insane, and that these comments about a lack of vulnerability were in all likelihood not directed at me, I began to consider what it means to be vulnerable, where/when/how much vulnerability is acceptable, and how encouraging vulnerability in some environments can backfire. 

So first, to go back to basics, to be ‘vulnerable’ means being ‘susceptible to to physical  or emotional attack or harm.’ I’ve frequently seen it used as praise for writing where the author discloses something embarassing or immoral that they’ve done—eg, the entire genre of personal essays. The genre of memoir, too, thrives on vulnerability: the more sordid details the author can cram in about their rock-bottoms the better. At best, this fosters a deep sense of connection between writer and reader, who are for the duration of the text essentially sharing a mind. At worst, the writer becomes a spectable: object of fascination or horror rather than fellow subject worthy of empathy.

I’ve always thought of myself as being pretty OK with being vulnerable. Therapy comprised a significant portion of my socialization as a kid and teenager, which may have instilled in me the compulsion to explore and report on my feelings (albeit without also developing the capacity for making friends with whom I’d ideally share the findings). However I’m generally pretty open about having struggles with weight, mental health, etc. I’m probably more comfortable than the average person with risking looking stupid or making a stupid joke, or wearing ugly sunhats. In my relationship, I tell my partner most things: my insecurities, fears, regrets, parasocial crushes, etc. Lately, of course, he’s been unsure about my perception of reality, as have I–but for the most part, I’m open.

So when people I don’t know and who don’t know me intimate that I ought to be more vulnerable I have no idea what they’re talking about. There is, of course, the distinct possibility that I am, as I stated, having delusions of reference, but if I am–who cares. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. 

One possibility that has occurred to me is that when my imaginary friends talk about ‘vulnerability,’ they’re making more of a request that I adopt a gentler, less sardonic tone. Which is beyond me, at least as far as internet writing goes–in fact, I could make the case that emotion coming across in my writing makes it more vulnerable–you can’t hurt a robot’s feelings (at least, not before LLMs). Being emotional is inherently vulnerable. Occasionally, I get the sense that a large part of the tone management of this sort of highly therapized “when you do X I feel Y–my needs from you are ABC” makes it a little bit manipulative, like as long as you maintain the tone of calm rationality your demands are therefore rational as well (As Taylor Swift puts it in All Too Well (Taylor’s Version), it allows bad-faith actors to be “Casually cruel in the name of being honest”). It seems to me there’s little room for pushback, lest you invalidate someone’s needs. Like, remember when Seth Rogan said that he needed his surfer/model/influencer gf not to post bikini pics or whatever? As though because he was using the language of therapy his request was reasonable. Was this vulnerability? I’m far from the first person to point out how manipulative individuals can weaponize any communication style to serve their purposes. It gives people a pass to say whatever they want, and then accuse the other of being out-of-line if they react poorly. It can prioritize aesthetics over genuine communication, and reframe legitimate disagreement as invalidation. 

This isn’t the worst part, though. Quite honestly, a lot of would-be guru types trip my Keith Raniere alert system (If you don’t know, Keith Raniere is the founder of the self-development company and sometimes human-branding sex cult NXIVM who is currently in prison). This is the type who will tell you that there are are no ultimate victims, that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life, etc, but then also encourage “vulnerability,” which by definition means exposing yourself to the possibility of being hurt. I’m reminded of one woman’s story of being shamed for feeling uncomfortable about being unclothed during the NXIVM branding ceremony, being told that she “needed to work on her body issues,” and then when she expressed regret for getting the brand, being accused of not taking responsibility for her own decision to get it. My point is that you can’t really have it both ways, encouraging people to take full responsibility for their circumstances and simultaneously encouraging them to open themselves up to harm. It’s kind of either/or, unless you’re trying to get someone to act against their own best interests and not be allowed to complain about it later. 

I’m glad that I’m capable of feeling fear, guilt, and anger. I would love to feel them less, but people who can’t feel those emotions or think they ought to be eliminated for best user experience scare me because it means that for all their talk of being vulnerable, they’re anything but. 

[g-kat423]

I'm glad that you've eaten, but your girl dinner is making me a bit concerned, but you did say you're not really that hungry, but I'm worried you will be later, but you said you'd be making breakfast by then, so I guess it's all good, unless your breakfast is another few pieces of salami and a handful of grapes...

I appreciate the concern, but the end of this message is coming off as a bit passive aggressive. Forgive me if you didn’t mean it that way, it’s hard to interpret the tone of text on its own.

Trust me, I eat enough. More than enough most days.

A general trigger warning for eating disorders and calorie counting. I feel it’s necessary to explain myself so people can understand where I’m coming from. Gonna put this under a read more

Before waking up and having the salami and grapes, I had around 1700 calories. I am an avid MyFitnessPal user and I haven’t gone a day without it apart from my inpatient stint in august of 2022 where I wasn’t allowed a phone. Even if I didn’t eat, that’s a perfectly fine amount of food for someone who is going on 31 years old and isn’t all that active due to chronic health issues.

I won’t deny my history of having an eating disorder. I’m not currently diagnosed(originally diagnosed with anorexia at 17 and later bulimia which became my main struggle for years), but if I did speak to a professional, I’d likely be diagnosed with OSFED or nothing at all because my weight and behaviors don’t currently match up with any anorexia subtype or bulimia since I no longer purge(apart from one slip up back in December which was the first time I had purged in 2 years).

Currently, my focus is on maintaining a certain weight range and curbing binge eating behaviors so I’m less likely to engage in harmful compensatory behaviors like severe restriction/fasting/purging.

When my health took a nose dive in 2022, I already wasn’t in the best place. My weight was the highest it had ever been because I had gotten into a horrible habit of comfort eating during the worst of the pandemic. It was the only vice I had. I lost weight pretty rapidly over the course of may 2022-may 2023 because I kept getting worse and instead of seeking comfort through food, I sought control in the only way I could, my weight. I couldn’t control my pain, I couldn’t control that doctors wouldn’t listen to me, but I could control how much food did or didn’t go into my body. I reached my lowest adult weight ever and likely would have gotten to a dangerous point, but by some miracle a doctor finally listened and I was able to get my pain under control. I had the desire to live and eat again. I needed the fuel to go on the walks I was so excited to be able to do again. I gained up to a healthier weight where I was active/energetic and able to maintain that for months, but then the combination of my surgery and the holidays, I fell back into comfort eating. While I’m still a healthy weight, I am not as lean as I’d like to be. I was much happier in the body I had over the summer because I was skinny, but in a healthy way for my height/age. I’m looking to get back to that so it really doesn’t hurt me to eat in a deficit, in fact that’s my secondary goal to curbing the urge to overeat.

TL;DR

I do have a history of an ED but I don’t feel at risk for a full blown relapse. I’m also not one of those people who can eat intuitively. Even when I had outpatient treatment for my ED, while I initially didn’t track calories, I had a structured meal plan. The reality is, If I want to maintain a certain weight, I have to track my calories because when I don’t, I always default back to overeating and binge eating behaviors. I’ve accepted that that’s just how it’s going to be for me because binge eating to obesity, which I did, was just as unhealthy for me as starving myself down to underweight. There’s also diabetes in my family and heart disease on top of my own health issues like POTS and the likely connective tissue disorder so it’s best I stay on top of things and strive for controlled eating habits and a leaner physique.

[twentytwo-onebee]

i have a ton of thoughts on this and the tl;dr is that he could have been way worse but could have also been wayyyyy better, and also a lot of stuff is colored by asian cultural expectations and also yujin's faults as a person. WALL OF TEXT BELOW... SORRY...

first of all when it comes to leaving susato behind, while it's not necessarily GOOD… Yujin leaving susato behind for the sake of getting a huge career opportunity that will set her up for life? HUGELY based in Asian cultural expectation. I'm not specifically Japanese (i'm SE Asian) but in my culture the concept of someone going overseas to send money back to their family in the home country and not seeing the family for years and years is so common that it makes up a sizable piece of the nation's economy. 😭 it's generally viewed (at least by people who are age ~50+ today) as a sacrifice that is being done to benefit the family, for better or for worse: in real life there are absolutely Asian families that have been hurt and broken up because of the distance and feelings of abandonment that come out of this. I do agree that Yujin was incredibly depressed/either suicidal or at risk of becoming suicidal after Ayame died, to the point he could barely care for himself, so +1 to the best thing he could do in this situation was to let susato's grandma raise her.

that said, i think there is totally also an Asian generational trauma thing going on with the Mikotobas lmfao. Yujin feels guilty that he left her regardless of all the above, and overcompensates by giving her every opportunity in life and also lying to protect her without seeing how it might hurt her (a thing he also does to Kazuma!!). Susato feels guilty that he had to leave her, and because she loves and respects him, she can't confess how hard it was to not have her father in her life for the first few years of her life and she can't blame him directly for that. So instead she just consistently excels to meet all his high expectations for her while also (in a very sad way) blaming herself a little too. They undoubtedly love each other very much but imo there's a gulf of understanding there because Susato inherited his low self-esteem & perfectionism when frankly? she doesn't deserve it. she deserves to Susato Toss him at least once for lying to her, actually. 😩

and finally not to absolve him of blame but I personally don't think it's that he's manipulative/not trusting of Susato specifically. I think he's a traumatized person trying desperately to protect people without realizing that lying to spare others' feelings or do what HE thinks will be best is ultimately hurting them worse. i honestly think the "I'M DYING" thing was just to create plot drama and the dgs writers didn't think too deeply abt what it'd mean for their relationship, but looking at it from a watsonian (lol) perspective i think he panicked, wrote what he knew would send her home INSTANTLY, and then when she got home was like… i'm fine aren't you relieved! i'll explain it to you later! don't worry about it! :) which is undoubtedly fucked up but absolutely made sense to him at the time when all he was thinking of was her possibly getting assassinated due to the professor case after all he had already lost. (and says something unintentionally very funny wrt his callousness towards ryunosuke bc he didn't also get called back lol) there's probably also some gendered weight to this with her being his only daughter but i've tl;dred long enough here.

trying to sort out how I feel about yujin’s abilities as a father

because I feel like the whole “leaving susato and going to britain” thing is a little more nuanced than people often give it credit for when talking about it. from the way he tells it, jigoku pretty much insisted yujin go with him because he ‘didn’t know what would become of him if he left him behind’ which to me seems to imply that yujin was suicidal after ayame’s death. and there is a point where your mental health is so severe that it impacts your ability to be a good parent, I truly think the best and most responsible thing yujin could do in that situation is allow susato’s grandmother to be her primary caregiver until he was in a place mentally where he could take on the roles and responsibilities of a parent.

sure, there are arguments to be made about whether or not leaving the country itself was a good idea when he could have stayed in japan and still been present in a way that wouldn’t have been as mentally taxing. or even if he was going to britain, whether the sheer length of his stay was appropriate but all in all I feel like whether or not yujin is a good parent should be defined more by his actions after returning to japan and beginning to actually raise susato himself

which honestly why I’m still kinda conflicted. because I mean from their interactions it’s obvious they both love and care for each other a lot, susato has a lot of respect for yujin and yujin is very proud of susato. however there is also this undercurrent of yujin not trusting susato in ways that are stifling and manipulative.

like having a telegram sent to your daughter telling her that you’ve collapsed and are on the verge of death just to get her back to japan when in reality you’re fine is an insane thing to do, no matter the circumstance. and it was all in service of trying to stop susato find out a secret that frankly, would’ve probably been easier to keep if he’d just told her and asked her to keep quiet about it in the first place.

he has this urge to dictate what she knows and how she lives her through a certain level of control life which, though that is quite common in parents, I wouldn’t necessarily call it healthy.

I dunno, this is something I would like more perspectives on because I think it’s interesting so feel free to share

[thecraftyfoxthewriterscorner]

✨Editing Process Insight: Developmental Editing from The Crafty Fox Editing Services

Some insight into my developmental editing process.

Hey Story Crafters,

Happy 2023! I hope you all had a restful holiday season, and that you’re ready to tackle the start of the new year. 😊

I’ve been doing a lot of developmental editing projects lately, so in this post, I’d like to explain my process for developmental editing a little more.

For more information about my editing services and rates, and to read client reviews, visit my website.

Visit The Crafty Fox Editing Services

Below is how I define developmental editing on my website.

Developmental Editing

Also known as substantive editing. I check which storytelling elements (especially character development) are effective, and which aren’t as effective, from a “big picture” perspective of the manuscript as a whole. This includes evaluating how these elements work within chapters as well.

My overall goal for developmental editing is to make sure your story has a strong narrative arc your readers will want to follow, and interesting characters they’ll want to know and care about.

The Deliverables

1. The edited manuscript.

When I receive a manuscript for a developmental edit, I do a readthrough where I make notes of general impressions, like notable narrative beats or character development. The second time I go through the manuscript is when I start editing.

In a developmental edit, I usually perform developmental editing, line editing, and copyediting on the first 5 pages of the manuscript. The line editing and copyediting are to give the author an idea of the additional editorial support their manuscript could benefit from, and what that support will look like from me. For the rest of the manuscript, developmental editing is contained in the comments on the sidebar.

2. Developmental editing tracking sheet.

What is a developmental editing tracking sheet?

It’s a way for me to keep track of characters, locations, unique objects or weapons (if applicable), and other important details relevant to the story. This gives the author an idea of how one type of reader interprets and responds to these details. It also gives the author the chance to catch details that may have been overlooked during the self-editing process. For example, maybe a character’s name was changed halfway through the story, but the author forgot to make those changes consistent. On the tracking sheet, I would mark the unknown name as “[Unknown Name] (?)” and query the author in the comments of the edited manuscript.

The tracking sheet also helps me track time in the manuscript. This usually means listing the days (or hours) specifically mentioned in the story, and what happens in that time frame. For example:

Day 1 (Monday): Helen picks up her estranged sister from the airport. They spend the car ride home in silence, only for an argument to spark at the house when Helen accidentally damages Jess’s prized guitar.

The photo below is a template of how a typical developmental editing tracking sheet looks like from me.

Caption: Screenshot of the Developmental Editing Tracking Sheet template.

Alt Text: Template of the Developmental Editing Track sheet from the Crafty Fox Editing Services. Important sections visible in the screenshotinclude the manuscript title, author name(s), notes on point of view, summary of the manuscript, timeline notes, and character names.

3. Editorial letter.

The editorial letter is where the full weight lies for a developmental edit from me. I address areas of strength, areas for the author to consider during revision, and any areas of interest the author wants me to review specifically (e.g., how effective the storytelling is in keeping reader engagement).

I cite specific examples from the manuscript, and expand on comments made in-manuscript in greater detail. I’m a big fan of using the Headings style in Word for organization and navigation in the editorial letter, along with bullet points and font styles.

Below is the basic template of what an editorial letter (for all types of editing services) might look like from me. Each letter is, of course, personalized for the intended author and their manuscript!

Caption: Screenshot of the Editorial Letter.

Alt Text: Template of the editorial letter from The Crafty Fox Editing Services. Major Headings for navigation include "What's working well," "For your consideration," and "AREAS OF INTEREST."

4. Follow-up Communication.

After the edited manuscript is returned, the author can follow-up with me by email. The author can send up to 10 emails in the 30 business days after the return of the edited manuscript + other deliverables for support.

*Important note: I don’t recommend having a manuscript undergo a developmental edit with another type of editing service. A developmental edit should happen as an individual service, because the changes you choose to make afterwards will most likely affect the line and/or copyediting that was also performed on your manuscript.

I hope this explains my process for developmental editing a little clearer. If you’re interested in learning more, or if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out!

Send me an email!

Until next time!

Best,

Leah

Connect with me on social media!

Link to Substack Post: https://thecraftyfoxwriterscorner.substack.com/p/editing-process-insight-developmental

[moxfirefly]

11. “sit on my face immediately”

and

19. “i’m sorry i keep staring, but you’re really the hottest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life and i don’t know what to do about it”

with raph and female reader. thx<3

Listen I feel like it’s been a hot minute since I gave Raph some love so why not! (I’ve got a bunch of prompts and I’m getting to them slowly but surely friends do not fret!)

So yes, let’s get it.

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

He could look at you all day.

Quite literally so, if Raph had 24hrs to spare and was giving the go away to do as he pleased, he’d spend them looking at you.

Because he’s absolutely addicted to your movements, not just in bed, in general. The way you carry yourself, the way you switch your weight from foot to foot. So much so he’s got it down to precision. He’s been hanging out at your place for a few hours, snuck out and shot a text to Fearless that he’d be busy.

He’d get the riot card read to him, might even get sent to the Hashi for it but right now your doing that thing with your legs he loves so much. Switching from one to another, jutting out your hip and giving him a perfect view of your rear watch time you stood more on one foot. It was a work related call which meant he had to be a good noodle, couldn’t speak, couldn’t complain.

Fine, he could do that. I mean, so long as he can continue to stare at you, run his green eyes over beautiful supple skin that is just way too free of marks.

Preferably so, his teeth.

He lounged against the bed, resting against his arms and not missing how your eyes raked over his biceps. At some point you had turned to look right at him as you continued the business phone call. You watched his eyes rest at your chest, adjusting the straps of your bra out of habit, you enjoyed the way he licked his lips. You raised your eyebrows at how obvious he was, trying not to chuckle while speaking to your boss on the phone proved difficult. Last minute pleasantries exchanged you hung up and placed the phone on the nearest dresser.

“Well?” You crossed your arms (a little on purpose naturally) and delighted in the way Raph’s stupor broke through just enough for him to give you those innocent eyes of his. “What?” He asked sheepishly with a small grin.

“You’ve been staring at me for the past hour I’ve been on the phone, what’s so intriguing?” You knew the answer though, you were in your undergarments (had just been freshly showered when work called).

“I’m sorry I keep staring, but yer really the hottest thing I’ve seen in my entire life and I don’t know what to do about it” He smirked when your cheeks flushed at his words. How he managed to make you feel self conscious and gorgeous all in one was truly a talent of his.

Raph was already hard just imagining ways he could show you just how hot he knew you were. “Take ‘em off” He motioned to your undergarments.

“And who says you’ve earned that?” You chided.

“Cant eat ya out if those are in the way” He spoke matter of fact. You felt your pulse quicken as the thought. With only some mild defiance you slowly stripped for him, only to drive him a little more crazy with want. When that large hand of his palmed the front of his shorts, it took a lot of your resolves to not jump him. “God fucking dam yer the hottest thing in this entire planet, c’mere baby” He beckoned you over as he slipped a little further down the bed to rest on his shell.

You bit your tongue, clearly knowing what he was gonna demand.

“Sit on my face immediately” He nearly purred out with a growl. Climbing on top of him you did just that, your core coming to rest on his face as Raph palmed your rear and gave that first slow and deliberate lick. How easily you could become drenched thanks to his mouth, his tongue licked your folds, swirling around your clit enough times to make you question your reality. Ever moment your body betrayed you and felt like falling he’d be there to grip your rear or thighs harder and keep you afloat.

He churred, deeply and gravely and it was felt right against your clit. Your hands shot up towards the headboard and gripped the metal. By the hundredth circle on your clit, Raph opted to dip his tongue inside of you making you bucks against his face the way he loved so much. That was the thing with the red banded brute, you could rub yourself raw against his face and he’d thank you afterwards. On one to many occasions had you taken his capabilities to hold his breath for your own gain.

Raph did not fucking mind.

The first time he had forced you onto his face in the heat of the moment, it had been heaven. He’d never tasted anything better, never smelled anything more delicious. With just a few licks he had embarrassingly came in his own underwear (and boy had that been an orgasm for the books).

A large three fingered hand landed on your rear, several smacks urging you onto your released sooner than later. You rode him harder, faster, each groan and churr pushing you forwards to rest against the wall of your headboard. How he loved that increasing pitch of desperation coupled with his name, that ‘Raph Raph Rapha-!’ that ended with your body tightening and compressing in on itself with the intensity of your release. He dug his hand onto your hips, steadying you as that gush of wet released fell into his mouth, so tart and delicious he could cum right then if he humped up enough for the friction of his shorts.

Foggy green looked up at you, mostly seeing your tits (and not complaining) the flush of your skin as your high settled and your limbs weren’t stone. On shaking legs you got off, he inhaled and exhaled satisfied with smelling and tasting you. He looked over towards your body, long breaths and that tremble in your thighs he loved so much.

But this wouldn’t do, he wanted more, wanted to see your writhe more, but he also wanted to cum.

“Take a breather, get back on here and maybe use that pretty mouth of yers too” He raised his hips, sliding off his shorts along his underwear.

Your mouth watered at the sight.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Coming home can cause issues.

Series Masterlist

                          SIX MONTHS LATER

You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.

“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”

“No.”

“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”

“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”

“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”

“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”

“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”

“You’ll never find him.”

“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.

From: Julian

Go for it.

“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“

“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”

With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.

“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.

“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.

“Yep.”

“Are you hungry?”

You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”

“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”

You eyed him up and down.

“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.

“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”

“I’m not going on the field with you.”

“The General sent me here to help you.”

You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”

“Y/N.”

“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”

“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”

“I told you—“

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”

“The General.”

You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.

“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“

“Why did he not text me?”

“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”

Your jaw clenched.

Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.

You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.

And that-

That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.

But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.

“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”

You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”

“No I mean… About Barnes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”

“I don’t want to go after him again.”

“You don’t want revenge?”

That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”

That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.

“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”

“That there was a job here.”

“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”

Julian licked his lips.

“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.

“What?”

“Check your texts.”

You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.

From: General

Time to come home.

“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”

                                                   ***

Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.

Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.

Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.

So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—

Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.

“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”

As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.

Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.

You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.

And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.

You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.

“Hello Cap.”

Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.

“You’re back?”

You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.

“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”

“So much for the small town girl.”

“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.

“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.

“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”

“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”

“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”

Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.

“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”

“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”

“He told you about that?”

He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”

You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”

He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.

“You know he was going to propose, right?”

That-

That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.

“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”

Don’t cry.

Do not fucking cry.

Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.

You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”

“Y/N, he loved you.”

“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”

He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.

“How much does he hate me?”

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”

“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”

“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”

“But you want him to forgive you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.

“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”

“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.

“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”

                                                  ***

“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.

“I knew you’d miss me.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”

“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.

“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”

“You guys have a new mission?”

“Not a long one probably.”

“Why the fuck am I—“

“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”

“That or….”

“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”

“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.

It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.

You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.

Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.

“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”

Chapter 24

[seriousbrat]

sure, but that's definitely your own interpretation and also just what you personally want to see or wish had been there, which is different than there being something missing from the text as you imply. Rowling provided plenty of backstory and characterisation that points to why Peter did what he did-- it seems like you personally don't like this and choose to ignore it, which is fine. But that is what you're doing. I'll also say that it's not obligatory and in fact is the mark of a poor author imo to over-explain every single facet of the story and the characters. Sometimes things are best left to the reader to piece together rather than spoonfeeding every nuance of the story. If one cares to look at Peter, there are many clues.

Why the sudden change? It wasn't sudden at all. We see it building since SWM. Sirius and James are both very mean to Peter even in this brief snippet:

idk but this isn't the way I'd like my friends to speak to me, personally. therefore Peter has motive from early on to harbour resentment towards his friends. If they weren't particularly good friends to him, there must have been some reason why Peter stuck with them-- the most logical one is the one Sirius provides, that he liked friends who were cooler and more powerful than he was, that could give him protection. We see him delighting in Snape's bullying, which lends weight to this.

Why was he so sure that Voldemort was the winning side? We're literally given this explanation in the text:

until Lily sacrificed herself for Harry, NOBODY expected Voldemort to be defeated. They were literally losing, and everyone knew it. They had no way to win. To be fair a lot of the 'picking us off one by one' was likely Peter's fault, but even so, the general atmosphere of terror and hopelessness is made abundantly clear many times:

So imo it makes perfect sense for Peter, who we've established had reason to resent his friends and typically sought protection from others, to turn on them out of fear. Like it just follows, logically.

I did say you're allowed to have your headcanons, you've a right to engage with the text how you want and to make up OCs with the same names as these characters, but I think it's good to be honest and CLEAR that this is what you're doing. 'Marauders fandom is based on imaginary headcanons' is debatable. I know that this is a tendency these days, but plenty of us prefer the canon version and we all find more than enough material to understand and flesh out the characters. So it's just a bit dishonest and unfair to claim it doesn't exist.

i think perhaps it's also worth the mainstream marauders fandom being honest with itself and admitting that the reason they change the characters into entirely different people is because they find the original story unpleasant: too dark, complex, and tragic. they don't actually like the characters and wish they were other characters. like i've said, it's totally fine to do this, it's just dishonest to claim that this is either a) accurate and factual b) a superior interpretation of the text or c) evidence of faulty writing

Somewhere, maybe in an another universe, Peter Pettigrew became a spy and a betrayer, but for the other side. Gained the trust of Voldemort and others, because be honest, what can he even do? How can he even try betray them? He's just small and scared, like a mouse. So he was almost like Snape, minus being a git to the Order.

Because, fight me on this, but Peter would never, EVER betray his friends. Never in his life. Marauders were all equal in each other's eyes. He would have rather died, than betrayed James, the one, who saw potential in him first. The one, who always stayed with him through the years, and Lily, who always made sure he was alright. Never would have framed Sirius, because despite having arguments, Sirius always was so very protective over him, almost like two brothers. Never would have left Remus alone like that, because he spent so much time with him together when Sirius and James went for Quidditch or just other jock things.

Rowling did Peter so dirty. He was brilliant. And he would never betray his friends' side.

[joshfuckingkiszka]

5: Figured You Out

I didn't mean to take this long but oh well the past is the past. also this story will have every trope that I need to be self indulgent on my joshy needs. I will not be taking questions at this time, thank you. 

THIS SERIES IS 18+ MINORS DNI

chapter warnings: just some good ol’ tension with guess who? asshole!josh of course! 

series masterlist

It took you a little too long to come up with a reason as to why your lipstick had suddenly disappeared. When Jita asked, you simply claimed that it needed to come off, and, having no reason to dispute it, she believed you. Josh went back to ignoring you for the remainder of the night, and while it stung a bit, you felt it was probably for the best. But there was no way it would go back to the way it was before, right? Certainly not with the way he had touched and kissed you.

When the night began to wean, and the guests began to depart, you started to get sad again. The boys were leaving in the morning and the consistency that had become so easy with them would dissipate. Of course, you still had the girls but you all knew it simply wasn’t the same, they were the life of the party. You thought back to earlier in the evening, when Sam had called you his best friend, and wondered if he always made friends that easily, or if that was just the truth. If it was, your connection with the band held a whole new weight, one that you weren’t certain the consequences of. Well, at least until you got home that night.

Jake and Danny had shown up to the party together, while Josh had come with Sam and Hannah, meaning on the car ride home, you were forced to sit with Josh in the backseat. He snuck lingering touches to your exposed legs and you silently berated Sam for turning the heat back on. It was dark enough in the car that when his hand found a firm grasp on your inner thigh, the two up front didn’t see, and you knew that only Josh could hear the hitch in your breath. His thumb (the same one that had been in your mouth not two hours ago), constantly changed pressure rubbing circles into your leg. It was then, and only then, did you wish he would make up his fucking mind and stop with the mixed signals. When the car stopped in front of your complex, his hand left you completely and he didn’t even bother mumbling a goodbye to you. Then you hated him all over again.

You chose not to acknowledge him in your goodbyes either, asking Sam and Hannah to text you when they got home, then yelling a “Bye!” in their general direction from the door. It didn’t take a genius for Josh to know you weren’t talking to him, though.

After you were showered and cozied up in bed, your notifications started going haywire. They were all coming from one app on your phone and it confused you to see that it was Instagram. When you clicked on them, immensely confused, you saw hundred, if not thousands, of new follower notifications. You eventually found the source, Kenzi had posted one of the group pictures from Sam’s party, specifically one where Josh’s arm was draped around your waist. Without context, you knew it looked like he did it all the time, with how relaxed and content he looked. You knew better, though, you could feel how tense he had been as the picture was snapped. Against your better judgment, you decided to scroll through the comments, and boy did you immediately regret that.

AWW ITS THE GRETA VAN GIRLFRIENDS!! - that one made you laugh, you had to admit it.

does josh have a gf?? - you clicked on that comment thread and saw a number of people saying that they had seen you and Josh around Nashville, looking extremely couple-y, which made you scoff.

i mean i guess he’s not waiting for me :(( - again, you laughed, and contemplated commenting that they could have him, but decided not to.

They got worse from there, mocking you and pointing out flaws you weren’t even aware you had. It was strange, however, to see replies to the mean comments, stating that Josh is a grown man, whom they don’t know, and he’s allowed to date whomever he wants. Those made you smile, despite the tears in your eyes. Right as you exited the app - after disabling your notification settings - two messages pinged on your phone.

Bee, I am so sorry about the comments on that post! I can delete it or untag you if you’re more comfortable that way! - Kenzi was so sweet, you weren’t sure that anyone deserved her. That was, until Danny sent a message in that same group chat.

Don’t listen to them anyway, we all know the truth and that’s what matters :) - He deserved her. They all sent comforting messages like that in the chat, with radio silence from Josh. Jita suggested making your account private, like she had, while the rest of them suggested silencing your notifications and limiting your comments.

It’s okay, guys. I’m not going to readjust my whole social media just bc some 14 year olds think that I’m not pretty enough to date a rockstar. - if only you could make yourself believe that.

The other notification, however, did not come from the group chat, but from your sister.

Are you dating Josh from Greta Van Fleet?? - she had never quite mastered the art of subtlety.

No. - you weren’t going to say anything else about it either. You were astounded at the audacity of her to never text you until she thought you were involved with someone famous.

She had lived a similar life in college, where she nearly dropped out to tour with a band whose name you couldn’t even remember. Your mother had screamed at her until she was brought to tears, when she finally decided to let it go, and continue her studies. Neither of them ever let the other forget it, though, it was still a pretty sore subject, even years later. A part of you actually praised your mother for that, as fucked up as it was, because you knew if she had dropped everything to live the tour lifestyle, your mother would have taken it all out on you. You felt bad for her, at first, until she used all of her newfound time essentially degrading you on every choice you made that reminded her of herself. She wanted you to be exactly like her, miserable from every aspect.

Your sister had stayed in college, studying for a degree she hated, then joined a career that she couldn’t stand, and married a man who only your mother seemed to like. He was nice, and it’s not like he ever did anything wrong, but he was so different from the men your sister would sneak out in the middle of the night to see in high school. For a while, you figured that maybe she had grown up, that it had just been a phase leading to the most mind-numbingly boring man in the world. But you knew she wasn’t happy, that their relationship was entirely built on the fact that your mother had set them up, told him to propose when she was ready, and took over the entire wedding planning so your sister couldn’t even have that. Nothing was her own, and she was bound to make you suffer the same fate.

The band had thrown a stopper in that, and you knew it would come back to bite you in the ass eventually. In the past few weeks, you had lied consistently to your mother about your whereabouts, something you had never done before, and you knew your sister would tell her.

I saw the picture, don’t lie to me - she even had that same texting voice your mother had, using your full name at the end of angry texts.

In a spur of the moment decision, you decided to lie to her too, what harm could come from that? Your sister had an extremely private social media life, the only pictures in any of her feeds being from dates her husband took her on before they were married, a couple’s photo of the day she got engaged, and a few pictures from their wedding day. She had deleted all of her old pictures from high school with her friends, where she looked genuinely happy, because your mother claimed it was childish to leave them up.

Okay, I am, but don’t tell mom - you knew she would. You were playing chess with this one, and when your mother would eventually call to yell at you, you would “break up” with Josh.

Fine. - and with that, you went to bed, dreading that wakeup call the next morning.

And you were absolutely right to. For when you woke up to her ringtone, her voice called your name so sweetly, you almost felt bad about the whole thing.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?” She wasn’t yelling, which already threw a stick into your plan.

“Well, I guess I just didn’t want you to think I was losing focus,” you claimed, your heart pounding so loudly you feared she might hear it.

“I would hope you’re not,” she laughed, “but now I have to meet him, of course.” Fuck, fuck, FUCK.

You hadn’t even realized you had been quiet for so long until she called out your name, forcing you to take your nails out of your mouth and respond with a very sophisticated, “Oh, uh, yeah, um, definitely.” Why couldn’t you have just said no, like a normal person telling a lie?

“Well, what days work for you? Actually, call me when you figure it out, I have to go.” Your stuttering response didn’t seem to phase her, and once again she just ended the call, no “I love you” to bid you goodbye.

You were going to have to tell Josh, you knew that much. It was only your highest hopes that he wouldn’t laugh in your face and ultimately tell you to fuck off. Maybe there was another way to start that conversation, though. Your immediate thought was to text the girls, surely they would know what to do.

Boy, oh boy, have I fucked up… - a good way to introduce the topic

Jita: Uh oh, what did you do, bee?

My mom may or may not think that Josh is my boyfriend…

Kenzie: And why would she think that lol??

I may or may not have told her that he was

After explaining the circumstances of your enormous lie, they attempted to convince you that telling the truth was better than asking Josh out a lie that surely would not work in your favor. Ultimately, you decided that you were already in this far and, quite frankly, you wanted to see where it would go. The guys would only be on the road for two and a half weeks and you decided to ask Josh as soon as they got back.

It almost didn’t feel like weeks as they passed. Some days, it felt like years were passing, while you sat in class, no longer attentive to the subject matter. Other times, it felt like seconds, like they would be home too soon for you to comprehend, and you weren’t ready to see those mahogany eyes boring into you as you lost your dignity.

Eventually, or much too quickly, they were back in Nashville. Naturally, Sammy invited you to go out with them that Saturday, and you agreed. You had - prematurely, if you said so yourself - told your mother and sister that they could come visit you the following Saturday, hopefully giving you enough time to convince Josh.

You spent hours trying to come up with the perfect proposal, wording it as to not give any personal information about why this was so important. All of that planning, however, went straight out of the window when you spotted Josh, that ‘light up the room’ smile on his face and his curls a beautiful mess, framing his face as if they were a halo.

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

[bibbykins]

Cookies and Fingertips (M)

Some Jimin loving! We love to see it! I hope you all enjoy this installation as I try to figure out how to properly flesh out characters in a drabble series. Am not sure how I’m doing there but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. As always, tips are not required but greatly appreciated, just like your thoughts! Pls share your thoughts though, they brighten my day!

Note: This is part of a drabble series The Household’s Bunny

Summary: You and Jimin met long before you moved in, and yet, you’re not sure if he even likes you. So what else is there to do but take every opportunity to talk to him until you figure it out? 

Jimin has had a debilitating crush on you long before you moved in and he is almost positive there is no way you’d feel the same. And yet, he doesn’t have the strength to properly avoid you.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: 18+, soft yandere-ish, obsessive thoughts, possessive thoughts, fingering, handjob, subspace, cum eating (sorta?), discussion of hospitalization, mentions of a stalker, mentions of passing out, the word “fat” is used, a moment of thigh riding, surprise kiss, insecurity

Jimin looked across the courtyard as his eyes remained fixated on your form. You were a simple second year in college and he was just a breath away from graduating. He first laid eyes on you a mere year ago and he can't remember what life was truly like before you smiled at him. You both had only ever exchanged pleasantries, so he opted to wait for the right time to make his move.

“That’s not true.” Your voice snapped Jimin from his staring contest with the PowerPoint slides, “That’s an antiquated idea, not a proven theory.” He looked to you, a couple rows down. You were plump and cute to say the least. He recognized you from a few of his courses. He had heard you were a double major in Art and… damn, what was the other?

The man you had rebutted had his face turning red, “It is proven, it was studied in 1973 with significant results yielded.” Jimin had no idea what you both were debating but he watched a sea of student nod in agreeance with you, some with the guy. What class was he even in? He looked at the PowerPoint slides, reading them for the first time today. Ah, he was in his psych of gender class. Maybe you were a psych major.

“In 1973, with no women in the participant pool, are you not seeing the issue in making a multi-gendered generalization whilst utilizing one genders perspective, a perspective that is also quite dated, mind you?” You cocked a brow and Jimin found himself a bit amused at the man who scoffed.

“You learn those words in high school two months ago?” He snapped back and Jimin grimaced along with most of the lecture hall. 

“What? You need me to define them?” You quipped, eliciting some laughter as the professor regrouped.

“Ah, educational discourse.” The professor joked lightly as Jimin’s eyes remained fixed on you as you noticed a few lingering gazes on you, shrinking in your seat.

He saw you in the lunch hall, sitting alone, not uncommon for anyone in college, except your eyes were a bit puffy. Before he could even question the urge, he acted. Within a few steps, he was at your table and you looked up in confusion, “Uh, hi?” You meekly spoke and Jimin realized he had no plan.

“U-Uh, you… uh… do you like the cookies?” He forced out and immediately wished he could disappear.

You looked down at the cookie on your plate, “Uh, yes? Is-Is this a fat joke or do you actually want to know?” You asked cautiously.

Jimin’s eyes widened, “No, I mean yes, I mean no, I would never make fun of your weight.” He squeezed his eyes and sighed, not able to see your growing smile at his mental turmoil, “I have psych of gender with you and people rarely talk in that class so I thought you were pretty cool.” He smiled and he noticed you relax.

You nodded, smiling slightly, “Ah, I see. Thank you.” You beamed and it was like he felt the warmth from you, “I don’t do super well with attention but I also have poor impulse control.” You chuckled and he finally understood why you had cried and his heart strings were tugged a bit, “And yes, the cookies are good.” You split one in half and offered it to him.

Life goes by a lot quicker when one waits for the perfect opportunity. This much he found out quickly when he found himself a year later, looking across the courtyard at you, this time as your TA. He tried dating to get the daunting idea of talking to you after that singular interaction in which he forgot to give you his name from his mind to no avail. No matter, surely this would be the year.

”Jiminie is so hot!” Jimin continued to pretend not to hear his ex, Yoora, whine in your ear as he observed the intro to modern dance class.

You looked to her thoughtfully as you stretched, “You mean the TA, that is not that far away?” Your voice was lowered, but he could still hear you. He found himself listening closer, wondering if you remembered the singular interaction you both had. Yoora nodded in the corner of his eye.

“Yep.” She affirmed, “We dated, it was magical, and he’s still hot.” She mused and Jimin grimaced a bit, feeling bad he dated a girl that seemed to be a decent friend of yours, “Do you know him?”

Jimin perked up a bit, “We talked once, seems nice, is obviously hot.” You shrugged, “I doubt he remembers me, though.” You leaned down to reach past your left foot as Yoora urged you on with her eyes, “I had gotten into a weird debate with this one dude in a class we had and he saw me after, and I had just cried because I hate arguing and stares.” You and Yoora laughed a bit, “Then, he just came up to me and asked if I liked the cookies I were eating, and I wasn’t sure if he was calling me fat at first.” Yoora gasped and Jimin felt pain just thinking about the awkwardness, “He wasn’t, and he got cutely flustered when I asked and then I gave him half of my cookie and that’s all.” You moved to your other leg, “And then he never talked to me again.” You laughed and Jimin wanted the floor to swallow him.

Another year goes by. The day before he was going to try and ask you out, you were hospitalized. He didn't know how to even approach the topic with you, but he did try to be there for you throughout that year. The professor he was TA for insisted Jimin also utilize his emails, so all throughout your brief stay in medical care, it was him who received your bubbly emails. The emails full of little emoticons and exclamation points that made him giddy and took him hours to conceptualize a response to. Although you didn't know it was him giving you extensions and safe regards, he still meant it. 

He was practicing when he got the email, 

“Attention students, 

We have received knowledge of an incident that has resulted in the hospitalization of a student that occurred within an apartment close to campus. Proper authorities have been notified and the student is recovering well. Please remain safe and vigilant.” 

His face twisted in confusion when he got a text from the professor he was TA for that you were the student in question.

Throughout the semester, Jimin watched you with careful eyes as you slowly acclimated back to yourself. He wondered how he could have been so blinded by your smile that he couldn't properly see your eye bags or the way you looked over your shoulder when you thought no one was looking at you, or how he couldn't see he wasn't the only one looking at you. 

When you returned, he watched your eyes relax and your guard go down again. He just wished he could've been there to help you get there. He trudged home one day and found you, and then his whole world was flipped by you again.

Since moving in, he found himself way more advanced with you than he ever imagined. You would plop next to him on the couch and give him a smile, "How was your day, Jiminie?" You beamed at him each time and he nearly choked on his spit each time.

He would mumble an answer and you would hum before watching TV with him, a show he deliberately put on each time he heard you come home. Eventually, you began watching competition shows together, theorizing who would win what. It was comfortable and close, and he found himself falling for you even harder.

"Do you wanna have lunch together?" Your voice pulled him from his thoughts in the practice room he had on his floor in the building. He had agreed to help with your final. The only time he could talk to you without it being a mental nightmare was when it was about dancing. The only time he could initiate contact was in this studio. 

The studio gave him a certain air of confidence that even you could see. He wasn't a different person, more so multi-faceted. There was the shy and bumbling part of Jimin just as much as there was the sharp-eyed and focused Jimin. Not to mention the way his fingers would dance on your form as he gave you pointers made you unreasonably aroused.

Even so, determined to challenge himself, he nodded, "Lead the way." His voice was smooth even after two straight hours of practice and you wondered how he could look so hot work out clothes.

You both decided to pick up food and eat it at the studio. You sat across from each other as you ate in polite conversation. It was after you both picked up the food and sat on the floor you spoke up again, "You know, Jiminie." You started, eyes shyly fixated on the floor, "I wanted to thank you for not telling the guys about my, uh, incident a year ago." You finally looked him in the eyes, a soft smile on your face, "Not that it's a huge secret, especially on campus, but I just prefer to tell people myself." You mused.

He blinked, surprised you would thank him for something like that, "O-Of course, I mean, a lot of rumors were going around anyways, so even if I did want to tell them, I doubt I have only the facts." He shrugged, "It's not anyone else's business regardless."

You stifled a little giggle, "Yeah, some of the stories got a bit crazy." You sighed a bit, "From a stalker attacking me to me passing out in the middle of the street." Jimin looked up at you. You didn’t meet his gaze, most likely reliving the aftermath of the whole campus finding out you were hospitalized and are a cam girl in the same week. Not that you were ever hiding you job, but you just wished you could tell people on your own terms.

"Yeah, some crazy things get told in the Arts department." He murmured, "I only knew most of the facts because your TA for Professor Lee's class."

It was your turn to look up, but instead of confusion he saw a polite smile, "I know, silly." You chuckled and when you saw his confused face you looked at him incredulously, "Come on, you're Park Jimin! Of course I'm gonna know the 'hottest dance major'" You fake gushed and he finally broke a laugh, making you giddy. 

"Of all things to know me by." He shook his head, smile still present.

You studied his face as his eyes scrunched and cheeks lifted, making you smile as well, "I've never made you smile before and your smile is so pretty." You mused, "I need to step up my comedy game."

"You've never seen me smile?" He looked surprised at this, considering he always smiled like an idiot when he stared longingly at you.

"I mean, sort of, but not to this degree." You shook your head, "I was starting to think you didn't like me for a while." 

His eyes widened at this and he panicked, "No, no! I do like you, a lot!" He exclaimed, much to your amusement and to his dismay. You watched him get red with a grin.

He stammered, staring at his fork before he heard your melodious laugh. He looked up and his face softened at the sight of your smile, "You're too cute, Jiminie." You reached forward and pinched his cheek, making his breath hitch. Your cooing tone made something click inside him. He didn't want to be just cute to you, he wanted to be more than any adjective, he wanted to be yours.

He reached up, hand going to wrap around your wrist loosely, "I was the hottest a second ago and now I'm just cute?" A glint of confidence shown in his eye as he made you gulp, "Is that all you think of me, y/n?" Your own name coming from his mouth sent a shiver down your spine and a beat to your core.

You were in a trance while being eyed by the man with a vastly different energy than he had just moments ago. You shook your head lightly, "I think you're beautiful." He cocked a brow and you scrambled for more words, "I had a huge crush on you from the moment I gave you half of my cookie." You breathed before even thinking, snapping you back to reality as you watched his eyes widen, "Ah, me and my mouth!" You admonished yourself, "I didn't mean to make you uncomf-" You frantically moved to take your hand back only for his grip to tighten, pulling you forward, placing your hand at the nape of his neck while his arm wrapped around your waist.

You gulped at the newfound closeness, bodies nearly pressing against each other as he eyed you sharply, "Do you mean it?" He breathed, "You had a crush on me?" You made a move to slink away, but you he gracefully laid himself down with you on top of him, his thigh mere centimeters from your core and he gave you a mischievous smile, "Don't leave me hanging." He teased.

"I-I mean… yes, but can-"

He cut you off with a sigh and a laugh. You braced yourself for him to laugh at you, and say how weird it would be had you confessed and how weird the idea of you two together would be.

It's a song and dance you've seen many times as a hopeless romantic chubby girl. Of course, now you know you were just too much woman for such little men, emotionally little at the very least, but you would be a liar if you didn't still feel the hurt of humiliation. The last thing you wanted was to look into Jimin's eyes and find the same pitying glint, but you were nothing if not a bit brave, at least sometimes.

You forced your eyes from his chest to his gaze and found… an emotion you've only every seen in the eyes of your housemates, an emotion you don't quite know yet, even if you felt it too. At your curiosity, Jimin beamed at you further, "I'd be really frustrated right now if you weren’t on top of me." He chuckled a bit and explained further before you could ask why, "I have had such a huge crush on you for years now." You balk at this, shaking you head.

"That's not a funny joke, Jiminie." You huffed, "If I were even a bit more gullible, I would seriously believe you and then my feelings would be hurt-" He pulled you flush against him as he captured your mouth in a soft and sweet kiss. He was slow, but focused, in the way his mouth moved against yours.

Inside, though, Jimin was freaking out. What if you didn't actually want to kiss him? Why didn't he ask beforehand? Should he pull away? But your mouth feels so good. Are you kissing him back or is he just that enthusiastic?

You laid his worries to rest when you used the hand at his nape to pull him closer, mouth opening to nibble on his bottom lip. He groaned lightly, pulling you closer as his tongue mingled with your own and he pressed his thigh into the thin material of your leggings. You gasped at this and it was like a fire lit within him as he sat up and shifted you for your legs to be on both sides of him as he pressed his mouth onto yours further.

His fingertips danced along your form in a much different context than you were used to, but fuck, did it feel nice. Where one arm was securely holding your waist, his hand reached beneath your shirt, getting accustomed to the soft skin as he waited for you to nod. You wanted him to touch you further. You didn't understand what all these hot men wanted with you, but right now, it didn't matter one bit. 

Jimin's eyes rolled back when he reached in your sports bra to run his fingers over your hardened nipples. You twitched against him as you gasped, fingers intertwining with his hair roughly, "Shit." He groaned at the sensation.

You both sloppily kissed as he explored your chest with his hands, moaning into each other's mouths at the euphoria of unresolved feelings coming to fruition and the sexual tension finally snapping as you gave him unrestricted access to feel you beneath his fingertips, "Wanted this for so long." He murmurs into your mouth, "So beautiful, fuck." The praises don't stop, and only further spur you wandering hand on as you feel his sculpted stomach.

"Wanna touch you." You whine as your fingers play with the waistband of his sweats and he nods, his own hand travelling down to cup your core, making you squeak, "Fuck, I'm so wet." You realized, half embarrassed and half aroused.

You could feel his amusement as he slipped his hand beneath your tights and panties to make skin to skin contact with your soaked core, and he didn't know how he made it this far, but he just wants to keep going as he feels you soak his hand, "Yeah, baby, you are, just for me." He moans when you follow his lead, hand wrapping around his hardened erection and giving a small squeeze, "Shit!" He gasps as you wiggled your hips against his hand, grinding yourself little by little. 

Your hand massaged the head, smearing the precum as you begin stroking him. You both continue moaning into each other's mouths as his hips jerked and you twitched against his hands, "So fucking wet, baby, so sexy." He growled and he slipped a finger inside of you, him groaning at your pulsating warmth wrapped around his finger, "Slid right in, angel." He praises and you let out a choked gasp and he presses his thumb against your clit.

He drank your moans into his mouth like they were an oasis in the desert, and he’s not sure how he’s lived this long without them. Without you by his side and in his arms. He held you close, refusing to even consider loosening his grip because your body against his was bliss in the highest form. You were his, even if just in this moment, and you would be nobody else’s. Nobody could make him feel the way you do, and he, along with the other men that resided in the building, were determined to hold the same monopoly over your emotions. He refused to entertain the idea of anyone beyond this building making you feel anything close to what he was now as he pushed a second finger in, relishing in the strangled moan you gave as you babbled about feeling full.

With the excitement of his dream girl dripping against his hand and your own hand working expertly on his dick, Jimin could feel himself getting close and you could tell from the breathy whines he gave you as he began thrusting his hips in time with his fingers inside you, "Cum for me, Jiminie." You purred before licking at his tongue and he came beautifully with his eyes screwed shut and mouth open as you swiveled your hips agains his, now two, fingers.

"Baby, so good." He whined as his high settled down. He shifted all focus to you and your impending orgasm as he watched you fuck yourself onto his hand, "Feeling good, darling?" He asked teasingly and you nodded dumbly, lips pressed together as you felt your high approach, "I can feel you clenching around my fingers, fuck, you gonna cum in my hand all pretty?" He cooed and you nodded as he met your thrusts, making you clutch onto him harder.

"Can I cum?" You whimpered and Jimin could almost feel himself get hard again at how willing you were to give him the reigns.

"Because you asked so sweetly, of course my love." He let the name slip before you both could even acknowledge it consciously. However, the closeness and the intimacy of it all sent you over the edge and you bit down on his shoulder in attempt to hide how loud you were. He held you close, not minding one bit at the mark you were surely leaving as he fucked you through your orgasm, "Felt good, angel?" He mused and you tucked your face into his neck as you nodded, holding him close as his finger stilled but kept you full until he felt you relax. 

You both giggled as you met eyes, licking the other person's cum off of your hands, "Thank you Jiminie." You hummed cheerily.

"Thank you, bunny." He chided before giving you a kiss, "We all really, really, like you, you know that right?" He asked and noticed your hesitation.

"Sure, but people can be sexually attracted to me and not want to… be with me." You spoke wistfully, "People can like me and not want to be with me." You let out a humorless laugh, "And few things make me feel as dumb as getting my hopes up for no reason." Although you had a tendency to do it time and time again.

"Don't be scared to assume we want you as much as you, hopefully, want us." He spoke quickly before he planted another kiss on you and the affection made you smile.

"You realize the irony of the statement coming from you, right?" You chuckled as he helped you stand on shaky legs before just carrying you, "I cum once for you and all of sudden you know everything and are all confident." You chided, unsure how to process his words yet, mind hazy from your orgasm.

"What can I say? You opened my third eye." He joked and you rolled your eyes before leaning your head on his shoulder, enjoying his embrace, the idea of your housemates loving you back seeming just slightly less like an outlandish fantasy, "Although, it will wear off and then we'll have to do it all over again." He sighed dramatically and you giggled.

"What a shame." You fake gasped, "I hate engaging in sexual relations with hot guys." You complained sarcastically.

"So you do think I'm hot!" Jimin cheered triumphantly.

You laughed against him and realized the only times you felt so free were with your beloved housemates. You wondered if they felt the same. You also found a more insecure part wondering for how long they would feel that way. How long would it be until a girl, or several, much prettier than you or less needy catches their attention. You wondered if you could take the pain of watching the sincerity drain from their eyes just as you've seen in your mom, your dad, your uncle, your first relationship to your last. You wondered what it was about you that made it so easy to be left behind.

Jimin's phone pinged, ripping you from your melancholic thoughts. He sighed, pulling it out and you fought the urge to see if it was another person vying for his romantic attention. He didn't belong to you, even if you wanted him to, "Ah, Namjoon wants to know if you want the demo for the new zombie game he's working on and Jin wants to know if you'd like your first pick of the new stickers he got, and Hoseok wants to try a new hairstyle on you and ah, they all sent me something to ask you…. Gosh, they all think I'm your secretary when we're together." He whined and you held onto him tighter with a light laugh as he went through everyone's inquiries for you.

You also found yourself how you went on this long without them and how you could even consider hesitating if they asked you to stay with them for much longer.

Tip Jar

[realcube]

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’  

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’  was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on 

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous��

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad  

but he was also soft 

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES 

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size) 

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together 

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’  bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you 

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’ 

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL 

but like deadass it’s not your blood type-  it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words 

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal  — you guessed it —  the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance 

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough  — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful 

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord 

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T 

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤ 

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you) 

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 2

Khem-khem, ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue out praising Apritello's episodes. And yeah, this part will be dedicated, in entirety just one episode.

Purple jacket. April and Donnie's episode.

I really love this piece of masterpiece, because it show April and Dee relationship, better reveals them as characters, and demonstrates their connection. (My previous points at this whole situation)

The episode begins with Donnie sneaking into April's school under the pretext of helping her. Soon, April stated the reason why she called D - her science computer project. Actually, she could take a photo of the code and sent it to Donatello, and I'm sure, he would send her the correct one right away, he's coder, he's prodigy, no probbles.

But still, April just asked him to come over and help her without stating any reasons. And he, indeed, came at speed of the light.

I want you to understand what exactly does that mean.

First: April is aware how much Donnie is into human culture. He wants to study in normal human school, do some average teen stuff. Especially, he is loving school and science-related stuff, all these science school projects, visits to botanical gardens, experiments and laboratory work. Because it's his field. It's exactly his domain, where he's good at. His family does not share his interest in science, and April is only one who can understand him. Probably.

Also, April know, how badly Donnie wants to go to school, which gives him an excuse, even if not the most solid one, but an excuse, nevertheless, to visit her school again.

Why again?

Because he has no problem navigating there. Donnie went directly to April's computer class.

He loves this place. And he'd already helped April with her projects.

Even so, knowing that every time she asked guys, especially Don, for help, it turned into a cataclysm, April still called him to help.

It's just a weird, indirect way to say, " Let's hang out, I know how much you like this whole situation with science, school and etc. Here ya go, buddy"

It seems like April did that to make something pleasant to him, something small, but nice to make him feel better. Because, as I state before - he likes to help April (praise, doing something useful for April - still counts as a motivation) and he likes school.

Second: khem-khem, D came at her school, as it seems, right away she called/texted. He didn't even know the proper reason, but c'mon: April ask for help, plus, her school. Sounds legit, don't you think?

Anyway, April has always been being the reason and excuse for teetles, but especially for Donnie. Clear? Clear. Good.

Donnie also tends to not think things through when he is excited. Because he went at the daylight in place, full of people just to help April.

ROTTMNT shows us how turtles were really afraid of human reaction and possible consequences. They have plan "H" to pretend they are going to Galaxy Con, brothers have explanation why they look weird and it's definitely not because boys are mutants, uh-huh, no, plus, guys go on surface at evening or night hours, when there are not so many people, and it's dark, obviously, to cover them and keep unseen.

Yeah, of course, Donnie seems more capable then his brothers to handle the surface (he has cash, D's dressed up as old ladies more than once, according to Leo, he was in April's school before, so yeah, no big deal) and I suspect that his friendship with April is one of the reasons.

Third: do you remember how April worried about looking "normal" when she was finally invited to a school party? She even forbade Mayham to appear nearby, just not to look like the lizard boy. Because cool kids don't bring pets to school. April doesn't have many friends, or rather, there are none at school, and she's been trying to solve this problem by getting close to Taylor Martin, the coolest girl in school.

And April O'Neil just calls Donatello, an objectively strange guy (since when is it normal to be a fan of school? Pretty questionable) in place, where her reputation is hanging in a balance. Our girl does not try to hide Dee, as it usually shown in shows for kids, and April do not pretend that she sees him for the first time in her life because, you know, Donnie will catch everyone's attention being himself and may embarrass her in front of her classmates. But no - April says with all her actions: "Yes, I know him. Yes, that dork is with me. And I don't give a damn about your opinion. Your problems, not mine. And yeah, I'm fine with him being here."

I mean it, guys. The devil is always in the tiny details.

The way they behave around each other.

Donatello is way more, MORE relaxed and just being himself: dramatic dorky nerdy ninja with current obsessions. The way he sneaked in school and April's classroom, the way he behaves alone with her is contrasting the way of his attitude while his brothers are near.

Don has a specific way to shown up. Instead of texting her, Donnie used shurekens. Yes, he almost fell off the lamp, but still, that's... quite an entrance he makes there.

April worries about him, when he fell from ceiling.

Our girl feel relaxed enough around Donnie, so she winks at him.

A wink is a fairly casual gesture that shows some expression of sympathy, trust, and togetherness. It's both good for saying "We're in same boat, we're team" and show the playful attitude towards someone. Isn't that an indicator?

Ironically, that being the best friends April and Donnie do not have any secret handshake/brofist/special greeting, as it usually the besties have at kid's series. Like Kendra and Jeremy have.

I can do only one possible logical conclusion: their relationship is far beyond "friends," "best friends," and "family".

Btw, about this certain phrase about secret five.

- Nay, fair April. A secret five[...].

Once again, nice wording, Donatello. Fair April? Maybe I'm too critical, but often when someone wants to convince their interlocutor and at the same time show one's condescension to them, it's usually uses "my dear ..." or something like that. I understand that semantically the difference is not very big, but in the first case, you can feel Donnie's personal attitude, even though he uses a book word. The second is just formal politeness, which emphasizes the difference between the rightness of the disputants.

This phrase were interpreted on official Russian dub as (okay, it's really hard to choose the correct word, because there's a lot of synonyms in English that sits quite well, while on Russian it's just one word, damn) "Нет, милая (No, honey/sweetheart )". Actually, a strange choice of wording, 'cause this is not what usually friends use to say to each other. We prefer use words like " my darling", "my dear", to demonstrate leniency. And again, most often this prerogative belongs to the older generation. Russians rarely throw around such words as "honey", "dear", "sunshine", because this deprives these endearments of any meaning, and a person using them, as a rule, is familiar. Of course, there are people who use them on a regular basis, but I HIGHLY doubt that Donatello is one of them. It's not his style.

But still, maybe I just too critical at this point.

April, as it is shown, have some kind of power to cool and calm him down and bring Donnie back to life reality.

1. Don awakes from his daze while heard April's voice

2. He's literally coming back to life, when April said about his broken jetpack.

3. Dee obediently interrupts his touching farewell to the jacket when April yells at him.

Oh, and his face. I remind you, fellas, we're talking about Donatello, "I really do not like to express emotions"-guy and "I will die if someone broke my bAbEyS"-guy.

And what do we see? Donnie's emoting. And feels free to do that. He's even drooling. (What seems kinda interesting without context, if you're understand what I'm talking about ;))

Dee doesn't seem angry about broken jetpack. And his wide smile, while he's assuring April he can fix it? A few minutes ago, he was steamed when his stuff was stolen, but when the jetpack was broken, he doesn't even raise an eyebrow. Very eloquent.

April is his support

April also supports Donnie whatever he's up to. Yes, she hadn't been excited when Othello had expressed a desire to join the club. However, she also introduced him to Kendra and company. Yes, she showed by her whole appearance that she did not share his joy, but nevertheless, our loyal captain O'Neil was there for him, by his side all this time.

And her sweet facial expression. From "Srsly? Join this jerks?" to "If you dare to even think about to hurt him, I'll smash you".

And one more cute detail about Dee. Even if he does whatever he wanted so badly, Don constantly looks around at April, looking for her approval.

- Be honest, April, do I look fantastic, or SUPERBLY fantastic?

- You look like you drop a juice box in a laundry. (Play nice, April, don't be mean)

He cherishes her opinion.

April had even called him late at night just to, technically speaking, say that his tech were stolen. And what's the big deal with all his outfit? It's late night, they can just sneak out into Nakamura in their usual form. But noooo, April give a special ride on her bicycle. Just. You know. Our girl carried her own weight and his all the way without stopping. And then she went up 53 + floors running non-stop because Donnie's equipment was stolen. And then she had to chase the her classmates, dodge and jump out of the window. Because Purple dragons stole Dee's tech. Like shooting fish in a barrel, no big deal at all.

And it's definitely not because he will be totally crashed or he'll do stupid things during his anger, which will then come out sideways.

And April comes along with him to very end.

By the way, their phone conversations.

Donnie is the very case when "Call at any time of the day or night and I will pick up the phone".

When April called him when he needs D's help with Albearto, when something is definitely going on behind.

As it says in transcript of the episode:

[April takes out her phone, scrolls to Donnie’s listing and calls him. Donatello appears on screen. Behind him a flying microwave wearing boxing gloves shoots lasers at his brothers.]

Don: "You are conversing with Donatello."

April

[Crouched on floor in hiding.]

Dude, I need your help."

Don: "For you, anything. As long as it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls.

[There’s an explosion behind him and his brothers cry out, which he ignores.]

And yeah, he took her incoming immediately, he ignores absolutely and totally everything around him, because... April? Expositions, bloody flying microwave bot turned to destroy mode, his brothers screaming and being in life-threatening situation? Naaah, it can wait.

Donatello was at Todd's, building "the puppiest place on Earth" and was very enthusiastic about to finish this thing. But he paused anyway to answer April.

We already know how obsessive with work Don can be: if something interesting gets into his field of view, he begins to do it all day long. Remember "The Purple Game" - a very revealing case. Yeah, we weren't shown how much Donnie is into engineering, but I can guess that point remains the same.

April called him at late night and Donnie picked up the phone.

April, unlike Donatello, is a teenager who is burdened with social relationship such as family, school, and work periodically, which implies a more or less strict schedule to follow and some conventions, such as " April, you can't go out late at night to catch robbers, you are underage and you have to go to school/work tomorrow). However, she was watching the news late at night, so she called Dee. ( I have a lot of questions, but I'll never get answers, as it seems)

D, in turn, doesn't have so many contacts with the outside world. I highly doubt that anyone else outside of the family and April has his number. And yet, when he hears the call late at night he takes it. Yes, he had awaken from the nightmare, but still.

And what's up with his usual "You're conversing with Donatello"? He didn't even understand what's going on, as it seems, he's too sleepy to play his usual image and playfully attitude as we could see in "Hypno Part Deux" and "War and Pizza".

Adorable couple-like D&A arguing

April very rarely uses "I told you so" against anybody, or rather, this is almost the only case. This phrase is more suitable for Leo or Donnie, and you know," I told you so! " we usually use on people we know well, and we want to tease 'em about them being wrong. Which, in fact, once again highlights and proves how close D&A are. And I don't even get started about the fact that this is more like a couple's quarrel, not a friend's.

And one more time - in the end, when April suggests using the jacket to stop Kendra.

Their teamwork

I stated that before, I'll tell it one more and more times. The chemistry of their team interaction is incredible. It's as if they can feel each other, and each knows what the other is capable of doing in the next moment. April easily adapts to Donnie's attack, realizing his plan.

Donnie also throws them both out of the window in order to continue the pursuiting Kendra on the jetpack. Don is one hundred percent sure of April, that she will understand what he wants to do, Dee trusts her with his life without hesitation, and she has never used his jetpack. He just puts her before the fact: April will be using the tech.

Up for Donnie!

I really like how this scene was made. Donatello struggles with his own tech, somewhat he made by himself, having invested almost whole himself and his soul, but what "betrayed" him in end. When Dee finally managed to shake one of his battleshell, which almost choked him, Donnie feel so scared and unsecured. We can see his anxiety - Dee's coaching position with covering his head with his hands and tucking his knees.

Defenseless, helpless, and mostly lost, and then, just in time - hero comes to save his life. She uses Donnie's name as battlecry, look how furious she is.

Funny fact: on Russian dub April yells "Don't touch Donnie! (how dare you, madafaka)

April fits in Donnie's type of girls. She's cute (obvious) and mean (not so obvious).

I can't say that meanness is the main feature of April's character, as we can say about Kendra. But this personality trait is still present in her and sometimes it does not manifest itself so widely. April's meanness is not so pronounced, it is much softer and smoother, and it is not exposed.

But April becomes really mean when someone messes up with Donnie.

She's his support and prop. Literally. Just look at first frame, okay-okay, jokes aside

She's genuinely enjoying of kicking bad guys ' asses, even letting go of witticisms and barbs.

Last scenes

Don survived a rough night: he was used, his tech was stolen, so he and April had to chase the satin robed punks. Donnie was hit in the head with a hammer, he fell from a bird's-eye view, passed out and then his battleshell tried to strangle him. And April is here to comfort him, to cheer him up.

Yes, we don't get any hugs (because it's kids show, bleh), the tactility is kept to a minimum, except for April's comforting hand on his shoulder, but they don't even look at each other. But the softness of her voice, the intonation with which she utters a phrase (that is usually sent to the friend zone, but "pal" is really neutral word, and the most important how she said that) turn the scene upside down. It is not what April did to comfort him matter, it's how she did this.

I said "yes" to you way too often

April mirrors Donnie with his "Anything for you". Yes, of course, she said this with a certain amount of grumbling, but her voice and her demeanor suggest otherwise - she is not at all averse to going to giving in him.

And the way they're look at each other.

This one

And one more detail

It's really tiny, it's hard to catch from the first watching the episode, but still, it's possible. I'm talking about graffiti on the walls of the alley where April and Don had landed.

This one

Yeah, if we speak about reality it's quite normal to see graffiti like this. But we talking about TV-series, where everything has its own place and meaning. And if there something, it must be there, it's not just whim of artist who put it in there. But this little graffiti changes the mood of scene.