#... so yeah I don't feel entirely safe posting anything to do with my work lately

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[thefallennightmare]

I’m sliding in the DM’s late and I’m so sorry 🫣 but I saw Monday Headcannon’s and I had to swoop in and put in a lil request for my citrus king Jesse Cash 🍊🎸 Leaving the direction totally up to you because I know that your brilliant self will come up with absolute gold no matter what!🫶🏻

Also, I’m sure you have a ton of requests and have been working all day, so no pressure or anything! I’ve been catching up and swooning over the headcannons you’ve posted through out the day and just wanted to drop my lil Jesse simp paper in the request box if you were willing/had time!❤️

For you(@burning-outx) and Jesse Cash, I'll always have time! Don't worry about sliding in too late, I'm up anyway watching a movie.

Also, thank you for giving me the honor of writing my first Jesse Cash fic. I'm so fucking excited. I've decided to go the route of when you and Jesse met for the first time.

You were standing outside the venue when Jesse spotted you for the first time. Erra just finished playing their set and he needed a few moments of the chilly night air to cool his burning skin.

You were leaning against the old brick of the building, talking with your friends about how amazing the show was and how alive Erra made you feel while they played.

Jesse thought you were the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, one look at you and it took his breath away. He nearly stumbled back into the doorway.

Your laugh infected him in the best way possible. The way your entire face lit up when you smiled made something twinge low in his gut. Jesse didn't want to disrupt you talking with your friends but he needed to hear your voice, see that smile up close.

So when he noticed that you dropped your wallet, trying to make sure you had all your belongings, he took it as the opportunity he needed.

"Excuse me," his soft voice broke through the night air after your friends had left. "You dropped this."

Your eyes widened when you realized the man you'd been swooning over all night was handing you your wallet. Never in a million years would you have thought this moment would happen.

"Thank you," you breathed.

Jesse shifted on his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "So, did you like the show?"

You spoke with him for a few minutes, explaining how you've seen Erra a handful of times, and each time, they get better and better.

You didn't miss the way his cheeks reddened at the compliment.

When you made a comment about needing to head to your car down the block, Jesse offered to walk you.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. You must be busy."

"Not at all. I would feel better knowing that you made it safe."

With a nod, your heart hammering in your chest, the two of you walked side by side down the block toward your car, conversation between the two of you flowing easily; almost as if you'd known each other for years.

Every so often, your hand would graze over his sending shock waves through your body.

Unfortunately, you reached your car way too fast much to your dismay and you weren't quite ready to say goodbye.

The last handful of minutes, it didn't feel like you were talking to Jesse Cash, the guitar player of Erra. It just felt like you were talking to Jesse Cash, the simple guy.

For the first time in a long time, Jesse felt at ease talking with someone and didn't have to worry about if they wanted him for something other than what he could offer.

While adjusting his glasses, Jesse cleared his throat. "I know this might seem a bit forward but could I possibly get your number? If you're alright with that."

You couldn't help but giggle at how cute he looked while nervous but nodded with a wide smile.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Once numbers were exchanged, you still weren't quite ready to say goodbye. You were feeling bold. Clearly, he had some sort of feelings because he asked for your number.

"This might seem a bit forward," you repeated his words back to him, taking a step closer and titling your lips up to him. "But if it's alright with you I'd really like to kiss you."

You asked the question but it was Jesse who softly pinned you to the car, crashing his lips to yours.

He tasted sweet and citrusy, like oranges, and you hummed in delight when your tongue molded together perfectly.

It was the kind of kiss that was heavy and desperate for more, but Jesse didn't want to push you any farther than you felt comfortable with.

Pulling away breathlessly, he leaned his forehead against yours. "I guess I'll talk to you soon?"

With a Chesire cat grin, you nodded. "Definitely."

You left him with another kiss before slipping inside of your car, him watching you drive away, his own smile on his face.

Fuck, you were so glad you agreed to go with your friends to the show tonight.

[tonberry-yoda]

Leon fluff alphabet please?

Leon Fluff Alphabet

notes - THE WAY I LOST MY MIND WHEN I SAW THIS ASK OMFG I couldn't wait to write this frfr. I love Leon with my entire heart and soul and I am so happy that the first thing I get to write for him is a fluff alphabet. These really help me get a sense of the character so I am more than happy to write this for you <3 Have a great day anon and stay super duper hydrated!!!

based on this post

(I couldn't resist this gif tee hee)

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

This poor guy is constantly so stressed out, so I think that he would love to just sit at home with you. He likes to talk and not talk so a lot of like silence and then super deep conversations lol. He also loves to cuddle and no one can change my mind. If you are big spoon I promise he will love you forever <3 But yeah, he mostly prefers to stay at home and just chill with you. That or hang out in empty parking lots eating fast food

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your laugh <3 When this man makes you laugh, he gets WAY TO FLUSTERED OMFG Like he is blushing the moment you giggle at one of his stupid jokes. Overall, he just loves your smile. He wants to see you smile every day if he can make that happen :)

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He is VERY used to having panic attacks, so he definitely knows how to deal with them. If you're comfortable with it, he will just start with small touches letting him know that he is there for you and won't let you go. He will bring you some nice cold water and press small kisses on your forehead. Once you've calmed down a little bit and if you're comfortable with it, he will hold you in his arms and whisper that he is here if you need anything

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Quiet. He wants a happy quiet life more than anything. No fear, no zombies, no Umbrella, just quiet. He wants to have a worry free life where he doesn't have nightmares and doesn't panic over whether you're safe or not. He just wants to be with you forever holding you in his arms and taking late night walks on the beach with a smile on both of your faces

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He thinks he's the dominant one, but you have to stand in front of him at McDonald's explianing why he wants a Happy Meal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He hates fighting so much. He had to do it all the time with zombies, but with you??? The love of his life??? He hates it. So, it doesn't happen often. But when it does, he will calm himself down and ask if he can fix anything. He will immediately forgive you and apologize and get to the root of the problem so it doesn't happen again

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

You are his safe space. You are one of the few things that helps this man get up in the morning in this cruel world. He loves you more than anything and is so so so aware of what you do for him. He thanks you every day and would do anything for you

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Nope. I really don't think he would hide anything. You already know about his line of work and the shit he's had to deal with, so he doesn't need to hide anything from you. Maybe though that he had the las plagas though if you didn't know. He didn't want you worrying about him. Okay, so yeah, he would hide injuries and stuff so you don't worry about him, but other than that he is an open book

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You made him a lot less stressed. He is more willing to take a breather when you're around. For you, he taught you how to shoot a gun and protect yourself. But both of you have been here to support each other through the bullshit you both had to see.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

A little??? I mean.... I don't know. I don't know many characters in RE, but maybe if you're around Chris he might get jealous. Or Wesker. Because Wesker is hot. But like... he knows how loyal you are, so he never really sees you leaving him, but something in his soul sometimes says that he isn't good enough for you :(

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN'S LIPS SWEET CHRIST. Well, you got me started, so that's on you. *AHEM* This man has the SOFTEST lips in the whole wide world omfg. Like dear lord. He also tastes like mint and always ALWAYS smiles into the kiss like it's making him the happiest man on earth. He also always kisses you like he's desperate for it. Like pushes into the kiss and will most of the time knock you either to the ground or onto a nearby couch/bed tee hee The first kiss though omg You were both super stressed in Raccoon City and saw each other after a long time. You both thought the other was dead, so when you saw each other the adrenaline that filled you up made you run up to each other and kiss just out of no where. You didn't even apologize either. After pulling away for a second and blushing, you were both right back to kissing

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He would just tell you I think. Especially after the kiss. He became the rizzler because of you

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes, I totally think he would. At first, he was scared, so he didn't ask you for YEARS, but when he finally did, he just proposed to you at home and you two got eloped. You didn't want a big wedding or anything, so you took the simple route &lt;3

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

I think his go to is 'sweetheart', but other than that he just calls you by your name

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Can't stop thinking about you. He also won't stop reminding you that he loves you. To others though? Not obvious at all. To you? You can see those goo goo eyes from miles away

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I don't think he minds PDA. It's not like he's just going to kiss you in public, but if he does, it's no big deal! He will definitely mention you to others when he can, but only if it comes up. He won't brag about you really, it's not his thing. But again, he won't just like kiss you in front of a crowd, he actually gets flustered if you do lol

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Honesty and the ability to tell you that he loves you. He is really good with his words I think and really thinks through what he is going to say to you and always says the best thing possible &lt;3

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He can be pretty cliche lol. I think he's a hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to be with you, so he will do really stupid romantic stuff like kiss in the moonlight or take you to a nice dinner

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Probably the most supportive boyfriend you'll ever meet. Will be cheering you on and helping you as much as he can :)

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Nope. Y'all have had a lot of thrill in the relationship with zombies and all so now you just stick to a nice quiet routine. It makes you both so happy that you can live like this after what had happened.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Because of how much you two have been through, he knows you better than most people. He has seen you at both your weakest and strongest points, so he will know when something is up and will immediately jump to help however he can

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You mean the absolute world to this man. You're all he has left that makes him smile and he would do anything to protect you. Honestly, he doesn't know if he could live without you

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

This man loves sleeping I think and when he falls asleep next to you, he needs to be touching you whether that's holding your hand or cuddling you. Warning though, he will drool all over your shoulder ajsdasjh

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

VERY AFFECTIONATE! Loves cuddling and kissing all over you. Like nothing makes him smile more than knowing that you two will be able to kiss and cuddle after a long day of work. It makes him all giddy lolol

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He'll feel super empty. He can't stop thinking about you. To the point that sometimes brings him to tears. He needs you by his side and if you're gone for too long, he will get a lot of anxiety and panic

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He needs to protect you at all costs. Because of this, he will literally kill for you. He loves you more than anything and will help you no matter the cost. Anything to keep you in his life &lt;3

~~~~~

resident evil masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[edwinspaynes]

What are your top 5-10 Thomastair headcanons?

Oh my God lmao I have SO many Thomastair headcanons. Not sure I can pick a top 10, but here are my 10 favourites. Some of them you may recognize as recurring things in my fic!

If you have read one of my best fics, this is one you'll recognize: film junkie Alastair. He's so interested in movies as an art form, and his interest and passion get Thomas into cinema, too. At the start of their relationship, they go to films around London, but they branch out pretty quickly. They go to places like New York, and Boston, and LA. Matthew even gets them into a Phantom of the Opera premiere in Paris and orchestrates a meeting between them and the director. It's something that Thomas and Alastair do together for their entire lives until they finally get a TV when they're 70 and in their little condo.

Thomas still retains his schoolboy diaries... and they are completely filled with, like, "La la la Alastair is so funny... and so amazing.... he spoke to me today..." etc. Alastair discovers this while they're moving and, with Thomas's consent, conducted a hilarious dramatic reading for just the two of them. To this day, he still does this sometimes, and it always makes them laugh.

Thomas and Alastair learn to cook all of each other's favourite meals. Usually Thomas makes breakfast and Alastair makes dinner, but sometimes they'll switch it up. Or they'll cook together. But yes I think that they learn all of the other one's favorite recipes and surprise the other one sometimes. I think that Thomas learns from Sona and Risa, and Alastair learns primarily from Eugenia.

Thomas scratches his nose when he feels awkward in social settings. It's a tell that no one notices besides Alastair, who is both observant and emotionally close to Thomas. He teases him about it excessively, but he also will use it as a cue and like, keep him comfortable when in group situations.

You'll be familiar with this one if you've ever read my smut. When Thomas and Alastair first started to get physical post-infirmary scene, Thomas was uncomfortable with speaking about sex and Alastair noticed. So he started using outdated sex euphemisms to get him to feel comfortable and laugh with him so he can feel safe talking about it. And it WORKED. Over time, though, after a couple of months, Thomas became more naturally comfortable and confident. But the euphemisms stayed. And they made it a game to one-up each other in weirdness and entertainment value of the antiquated terms. And then it became "no matter what we are currently doing, pause and guess the year the term is from." It's like this huge private inside joke for them that's intimate and hilarious.

Thomas and Alastair are both extremely close to Zachary. When Zachary is a young child, he genuinely believes that both Thomas and Alastair are his dads. Sona has to correct him, and he is floored.

One of Thomas's biggest flaws is that he's super petty. Like, if Alastair does something minorly annoying, he will passive-aggressively hint to it. I wrote a fic where Alastair accidentally eats his truffles so he decided to get back at him by putting some of his things too high for him to reach around the house. But he's also just as ridiculously doting. Like. He goes to replace his truffles and also brings Alastair a second box because he loves him

I think one of the best things about Thomastair is that they're always like. Teammates. Even when they're upset with each other, it's like, they will support each other through anything. It is a kind of love you don't see very often. I feel like the ONLY other time I've seen this is with Herondaisy, but yeah.

This is totally canon, but they're the capital-C PDA Couple. I love this about them. Booo. Get a room.

Eventually, when they're in their late 50s, Thomas and Alastair retire to Paris together. They get a condo high above the Champs Elysees and fill it with books and artwork, and there's a passage from their room to their roof so they can go up and look at the stars.

[a-b-riddle]

Pen Pals Chapter Two: Confessions

We never really spoke over the phone that much after that. We still messaged constantly through text or via messenger. C made honest on his promise of financially supporting me. It was more money than I knew what to do with to be honest. I was constantly asking him what to do with it. I mentioned I had no furniture.

Why don't you get some? You should have more than enough in your account by now.

Can I?

Of course. You don't have to ask permission before making a big purchase, sweetheart.

Okay. Do you mind if I send you some pics? I've never had to buy furniture and I would like your opinion.

Of course. 

With that I went to work. I ordered most of my things from Ikea, but the one thing I got, which was stupid, but something I always wanted was a velvet chesterfield sofa. I sent C a couple of color options and asked which one he liked.

Blue. It's my favorite color and goes with just about anything.

So I ordered it. It came almost a week later and was the last thing I needed to really make my apartment feel like home. 

It looks good. Good job, gorgeous. 

I felt so proud of his approval. I did feel guilty about spending so much money on a couch, but he liked it and he was paying the bill for it.

A few months passed before I finally got the interview for Stark Industries lined up and C was less than pleased about it. 

It has nothing to do with your area of study. The whole point of me taking care of you was so that you could wait out a position at a university.

I understand that, but it's been months and it doesn't look like things are going to open up in time for me to start teaching in the fall. 

You're back tracking. I don't think you should just give up and settle on whatever job you can get. 

For some reason that struck a nerve. I wasn't giving up, but things happen. The entire world has been put on pause and who knows when life would return to normal. 

Nowhere is hiring and I need a job. I have been cooped up in this apartment for months and I can't take it anymore. At this point I don't care if it's in retail. My mental health can't take being alone and inside like this anymore. The only social interaction I get is either talking to you or going to the grocery story. I have been in the city for months and I haven't made a single friend. I understand your concern, but it's not your decision to make. I will eventually get there, but this is something I want to do. I appreciate all of your help, but as I said, it's not your decision to make.

I turned the messenger offline.

A few days had passed with nothing from C. However, when Friday rolled around, money was still deposited into my account. Maybe it was automated and it accidentally posted. This had been the longest we went without communicating since the start of our little arrangement. 

After a few glasses of liquid courage, I called him. It was late in the evening, way past my normal bedtime, but I wanted to talk to him. At least to let him know about the deposit.

"Hello?" He answered. His voice was scratchy and slow.

"What are you doing?" I asked stupidly.

"I am trying to sleep considering it is nearly 2 A.M." I heard him groan. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted you to know the money got posted to my account." I swallowed. "I was wondering if you had venmo or something and I could send it back.

"Why would I want you to send it back?"

"Because I got a job and you don't approve."

"You don't have the job yet, you have an interview." He corrected.

"And because I don't think I was nice."

"Nice?"

"With how I spoke to you. Or 'typed' I guess." I huffed and laid down on the couch. "I shouldn't have caught an attitude like that. I'm sorry. You've been a saving grace these last few months and I really appreciate everything you've done for me." I finished off the glass of sweet moscato.

"It's okay." He reassured me. "I understand you probably are sick of staying inside, but I just want you to be safe and not settle." God, how was he so perfect?

"I got to thinking." I felt warmth of the wine start to get to my cheeks. "You know, we have been friends for like five years and I have no clue what you like and you know what I look like and you know I like you? Isn't that stupid? Like I have no clue what you look like and I like a stranger I've never met."

"You sound drunk." He chuckled. 

"I've had a couple of glasses of wine," I admitted. "But I'm not just saying that because I've had a few glasses of wine. And like I'm kind of glad I haven't seen you. I mean you're this person I can't even envision and you know that now you know where I live and I don't know."

"What are you trying to say? That it makes you uncomfortable that I know your address?"

"No, it's like..." The words embarrassed me as they came out of my mouth. "I don't want to say like aroused, but.. I don't know." I fell against the bed. "It's something that I think about sometimes." He was quiet and I felt like I had said something wrong. "I'm sorry that was too much. I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry, go back to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that I hung up the phone. 

That was too much. Oh my god why did I say that? Did I seriously just tell him I thought it was hot that I didn't know what he looked like? Shit shit shit.

I got up and put my empty glass of wine in the sink, promising to unload the dishwasher when I didn't feel so lightheaded.

Suddenly, from across the room, my phone began to ring. It was him.

"Tell me what exactly you think about, Princess."

[the-gay-prometheus]

This is going to be long because I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it so.

TL;DR: Hell no, never in my life, because lab grown meat in itself is unsustainable and can spell disaster for agriculture and livestock as a whole.

Yeah no. You wanna talk about how awful single-use plastics are? What do you think gets used to an extreme on a daily basis in a lab? Factory-made anything is an environmental disaster, now add the requirement for absolute sterility on top of that and you've got a recipe for even more plastics ending up in landfills (and ultimately also oceans and other habitats) than we already do. Talk to anyone who works in a lab, especially ones where cultures are grown, and they can tell you this is *not* sustainable. I'm sure there's plenty more to argue on the sustainability and safety front here too.

Now onto the animal side. Animals play - or should play - a crucial role in our agricultural ecosystem, just like they do in wild ecosystems. Livestock help us reduce waste by eating parts of crop plants that we can't, like the stalks and chaff and hulls of grain. Livestock also are important for fertilizing the soil our plant based foods come from. Synthetic fertilizers are already overused and causes surface and groundwater pollution to an overwhelming degree. They also lead to extensive carbon emissions that don't get sequestered into the environment. On top of that, studies have shown synthetic fertilizers actually can lead to faster depletion of soil health, which is not only disastrous for the environment (large swaths of land where the soil has been entirely depleted of organic matter and basically turned to sand... We've already seen it in some parts of the country), but also disastrous for the future of growing plants to feed ourselves. What can we use instead of synthetic fertilizers? Manure. Livestock manure, especially. When used safely and appropriately, livestock manure is better overall for the soil and the environment.

Livestock are also imperative for supporting local food systems, especially in places where growing crops isn't necessarily feasible. Livestock can live basically anywhere, eating things that we can't and turning those things into food we can eat like meat or milk or eggs. Livestock, when managed properly, can have a net ecological benefit by improving soil health in the land they graze or browse, by playing a part in the carbon sequestration cycle, and by actually helping to preserve habitat (rangeland and land used for pastured or forested livestock is able to be inhabited by other species as well, unlike land used for crops or... pretty much any other human development nowadays).

Why am I pressing so hard for why livestock are good on a post about lab grown meat? Because purring aside the environmental concerns of the production of lab grown meat, look at the answers in the poll above. If lab grown meat was widely available, people wouldn't think about those environmental concerns or the benefits real livestock can and do provide, they would only think about how 'no animals had to die for this' or 'everyone tells me livestock are bad for the environment so this must be better.' Real meat would get left behind. And since we live in capitalism where money is king, if livestock aren't making money, they can't be sustained.

Mass swaths of livestock would be culled because there'd just be no market for the products they make, and their bodies would be left to decompose instead of be eaten. Breeds that have been around for centuries would go extinct. Potentially entire domestic species would go extinct. We'd have no way of reviving them. That in and of itself should all be sad and alarming, but consider this also: when the studies inevitably show lab grown meat is harmful in any way, when the studies show that our soil health is eroding even faster, when the studies show that maybe we needed livestock in our agricultural food system, it'll already be too late. There will be no livestock to bring back to the fields.

i got different answers when i asked my vegetarian sister, my vegetarian mom, and my vegan partner so.

if you want to tag why please go right ahead, (i.e. you wouldn’t consider it to follow religious dietary rules and restrictions). i’m very curious because i’ve talked about this a lot with people.

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Commitment

Sabrina and Juno had to pack up earlier than the rest of the family because they had to get him to his dad's before it got too late. As has become normal, the two sit for a moment to chat.

Marquise: I didn't think it would quite be this hard to get back out on the dating scene. Everyone has so many hangups.

Sabrina: It's not easy getting back out there, especially when you know what you're looking for and aren't willing to compromise.

Marquise: I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me just as much. No more pining, unrequited love. Someone ready to commit.

Sabrina: Don't lose hope. It hasn't been that long yet. These things take time. And like I said, I can be your wingsim! Just send your dating profile to me and I'll see what I can do to really sell you.

Marquise: Think I'll take you up on that. Thanks Sabrina.

Sabrina: Hey, what are friends for? Now, I better get ready to head out.

Marquise: Headed home for the night?

Sabrina: Actually, I'm going to Beau's. He just got a new spot and wanted to have a cozy housewarming date.

Marquise: Oh, that's great. Well, don't let me hold you up. Enjoy your evening.

Sabrina: Thanks. And I'm serious, send over your profile and I'll have a look at it.

Marquise: Will do.

Soon after, Sabrina arrives at Beau's new place. It's definitely a major upgrade from the simple college bachelor pad Beau lived in for all these years, even post-grad for quite some time.

Beau: I heard the landlord was thinking of selling the place and that the entire building would be torn down and rebuilt. Something about making it more "college-friendly" or something like that.

Sabrina: About time. That place was an eyesore. I don't know who the original architect was but they obviously were a student themselves.

They both laugh.

Beau: That, I have to agree with you on. Just glad I finally earned enough money to move. It was time for a change in scenery. That place held many memories, don't get me wrong, but it was time to start making memories somewhere else.

Sabrina: Well I'd say this is a pretty nice place to start doing that in. You did a good job making this place your own.

Beau: Well having you as my first guest is an honor I don't take lightly. I hope you can feel at home here.

Sabrina: Trust me, I feel very at home.

Beau: Oh, is that so?

Sabrina: Mhm. So why don't you show me around the place a little bit more?

Beau: I can do that. Let's finish up here and I'll give you a tour.

Once the two have finished their meal, Beau cleans up the dishes, which gives Sabrina a moment to themselves. They walk around the living room space and find themselves in front of Beau's copy of their little family picture. Seeing this photo on the wall shows Sabrina that Beau is really serious about them and Juno, and that he wants them to feel like this is a safe space for both of them to be in. It's a sentiment that could almost bring tears to Sabrina's eyes.

The thought is interrupted before they get to that point, however.

Beau: Hey, ready for that tour?

Beau: This is the master. Not humongous but it's cozy.

Sabrina: Anything's an upgrade from that last place. This is really nice Beau. Look at you, you even have a little desk to get work done in here!

Beau: Well I needed some sort of office space. This place doesn't have a lot of extra room so I wanted to maximize the space I do have as much as possible.

Sabrina: Isn't this a two-bedroom apartment, though?

Beau: Yeah, come on and I'll show you.

Beau then guides Sabrina into the second bedroom space.

Sabrina: Very pink.

Beau: Yeah, I think it was a nursery for the last tenants. It's empty right now, as you can see.

Sabrina: Yeah. So you didn't want to make this into your office? It's a nice size, I'm sure you could do a lot in here.

Beau turns to face Sabrina.

Beau: I know, this place has so much potential. I was thinking it can be another bedroom with time. For Juno.

The statement catches Sabrina off-guard just a little.

Sabrina: O-oh?

Beau: Yeah! This is ample space for a growing boy! Could be just what he needs as time progresses. Of course, he may need to share if we ever decide to have a kid ourselves.

That statement takes Sabrina even more by surprise.

Sabrina: Y-you're thinking about starting a family together?

Beau: Well nothing set in stone of course. We haven't had a chance to discuss that yet. I just wanted to think about these things ahead of time. That's why I chose this apartment.

Sabrina: Beau...

Beau can sense he may have put too much on Sabrina all at once, so before they have time to retreat into themselves he grabs their hands.

Beau: Sabrina, I don't want you to feel any pressure at all. This room is empty because I want to give the future a chance to shape it. Whether Juno uses it exclusively, or he has to share with a little sibling, or if it ends up being an office after all, I just want to allow us to decide on that together. This is just my way of showing you I'm serious about us. I'm serious about the family we can become. I love you and Juno and want to be there for both of you. I know he has a dad and I have no intentions of overstepping, but I want him to know this is a safe space for him as well.

Sabrina takes a deep breath.

Sabrina: Beau, you know I've never had a father. It's always been just me and my mom. I mean, my cousins and their dad were there, but it was different.

Beau: I understand-

Sabrina: -Please, let me finish. I say all this to say that I never wanted Juno to feel like he was missing something. He's so lucky to have three men who have been willing to step up in his life, one of them being you. I know Juno loves you, and he sees you as important just as he sees his father. And I love you too.

Beau smiles warmly.

Beau: You don't have to make any decisions right now. This is still new, and I want to honor the pace you want to move at. I just want you to know this is always here. For both of you.

Sabrina: I appreciate that, Beau. Really, I do.

Beau: Then that's all I need to hear.

[dourpeep]

WAIT. I'm losing my mind over that friends to lovers post you reblogged. All I can think about is college Albedo + mutual pining, romantic tension, and friends to lovers OTL

- Leaving little post it notes in his bag or inside the cover of his textbook to tell him to have a nice day or remind him to take care of himself because you know he has a tendency to work too hard sometimes!! And what if he meets up with Sucrose and Timaeus because they like to catch up and sometimes discuss their research or homework, and they see Albedo hiding a grin behind his books and think that he's solved a particularly difficult problem but it's just a cute little note you slipped him when he wasn't looking

- You stay up studying for exams with Albedo and he dozes off on your shoulder so you sit there afraid to move because you don't want to wake him but you're also dying inside

- The two of you go to the library to work but eventually get distracted so it turns into the two you sitting close together on a couch and reading each other sections from your favourite books

- I can also see him as someone who rambles about labs or new research he's absolutely taken by. Weeks later when you mention something he said before, he's a little surprised but you just tell him that you tried your best to understand everything because you know it's important to him and maybe his heart skipped a little

- Going off your headcanons: Albedo looking for little specimens and deciding it could be a fun outing with Klee so she can get some sunshine and you find the two of them in the park. You end up joining them and Albedo's heart softens seeing you and Klee laughing and smiling together!

- I remember this little headcanon you had where he snorts when laughing sometimes and imagine Albedo letting one slip out while he's with you, and Kaeya teasing him later on.

- Eventually, his friends start asking if the two of you are together because of the silent affection and teasing between the two of you. Albedo knows he likes you but he's scared a relationship will ruin everything and you're too important to lose even if it means he never says anything, but little did he know, you have feelings for him too.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice day and week! Sorry about this monster of an ask lmao

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ALBEDO

NEVER

Like... there are two characters that I seldom, if ever, turn down and that's my beloved Albedo and beloathed Scaramouche- If you don't want me to shut up about a topic??? Like just utter word vomit???? Bring them up. Bring them up, I dare you--

Okay okay okay okay now lemme just--

oops. 1.4k words. Enjoy your headcanon drabbles, courtesy of me being a hard simp for Albedo--

College au Albedo is pretty close to how he normally is! Brilliant, though having difficulties with making friends and keeping said friends, getting carried away with experiments (did you know if you're on good enough terms with the professors, they'll vouch for you so you can use the lab when there aren't classes using them?? Yeah)...so the friendship that you have with him is certainly the closest one he has.

It'd be the kind where you knock on his dorm or apartment door at 11:45pm with some takeout and your textbooks and he'll let you in without a second thought. You slip inside and settle on the floor next to the coffee table cross-legged, setting the food out as if you don't live a good walk away. He wasn't going to sleep any time soon anyway.

Like the kind of friendship where your hand instinctively slips into his to tug him towards something cool you found or to the café where you tend to go after classes.

Even after you get to your destination, you don't let go.

Now that that has been established--the little notes you slip into his bag or on his books really began as a little reminder. Despite his keen intellect, Albedo tends to easily forget things because his mind is always going onto the next thing. So, being the great friend you are, would just slip a note to remind him to take breaks, eat a snack, or that you're supposed to go and meet Sucrose and Timaeus after class to prep for the upcoming exams.

Neither of you really know when they began to turn into doodles or 'seemingly platonic declarations of adoration'. It's normal for friends to write a heart besides "Don't forget I love you!", right? Yeah.

The smile that makes it's way on Albedo's face is unmistakable the moment that Sucrose accidentally stumbles upon a sticky note carefully tucked in one of his notebooks.

-

Speaking of Albedo and his tendencies to get carried away with stuff, he often functions on...minimal sleep.

Those nights that you pop up at his place to study or just hang out, he often ends up dozing off, glasses sliding uncomfortably down the bridge of his nose and hair tousled out of it's usual style.

You never plan to stay the night (though even when he's awake he insists you do because it's not as safe at night to make the commute home), but you can't just disturb his sleep when it's the first time in a while that he's probably gone without taking a capsule or two of melatonin to help himself back into some semblance of a sleep schedule.

It's these moments that you remember just how soft his hair is and just how nice his shampoo smells.

Also that he's a cuddler.

You awake in the morning, back aching and eyes squinting against the sudden brightness of the world around you and limbs tangled with your best friend. He's unbothered because his face is half-shoved against the crook of your neck.

-

With the library, you often find yourselves in a little game. There's so much to learn and so, so many topics through the old vanilla-scent found between pages!!

So trips to the library end up with the two of you digging and sifting to find a topic you've never heard of, sit and read for 15 minutes, then proceed to explain said topic the best you can (without looking!!). It almost always ends up with a few chuckles from Albedo as you fumble explaining (and half-making up) information and Albedo's (unfairly) great short-term memory winning out.

Speaking of...between actually studying and your little topic games, Albedo turns to you to bounce off his current observations and ideas. Sucrose and Timaeus, though both in similar majors as Albedo, are busy with their own projects and research to the point that they don't really have the time to help with stuff as extensive as his research.

Annnnd, naturally, since you don't have anything better to do and are almost always by his side, you play that part!

You listen intently no matter how dense the subject may be and no matter if you do or do not have the background knowledge.

When you ask him to explain something you don't quite understand, he can't help but blink in surprise because you were listening??? And wanted to really understand? You prove time and time again (even days, weeks later) that you listened to every word that tumbled out during his rambles.

And of course you do! Albedo's one of the most important people to you, so it's only natural that you want to show interest in his interests.

Also it's pretty cool to find out those random bits of trivia (like lobsters and their repairable telomeres-).

--

Klee!!!

Oh man, the first time that you met Klee was a pretty hectic day for Albedo. Due to his Aunt Alice's incredibly busy schedule, he tends to care for Klee on days that he doesn't have class.

However, that particular day he just barely finished class before he had to go and pick her up from school.

With you in tow, that is.

Immediately, the little girl brightens up at your presence, no doubt excited from what she's heard about you (listening in to Albedo's conversations with Alice and the embarrassed tone in his voice when he realizes that he's let your name slipped again and now Aunt Alice wants to know about this particular friend who's captured dear little Bedo's attentions). He's relieved when Klee doesn't immediately reveal that.

From then on, Klee insists that Albedo invites you for every outing they have.

The cafe for a quick treat? The bookstore to sit and read a few books?

"Oh, please please please?? Can they come Albedo? Klee promises that she'll be good!"

Who is he to say no?

But above all, those park days are his favorite. You end up running around with Klee, lifting her up so she can reach a particular leaf on a branch, squatting down to see a bug or lizard that she's entirely enthralled by--all while Albedo sits under the shade of a tree on a blanket, sketchbook and pencil in hand.

You don't know it (even though there's many occasions where he's shown you his sketchbook), but the pages are filled with your smile.

-

Around you, Albedo's found that he's most comfortable.

There's no need to hide insecurities or hold his tongue when something particularly exciting comes to mind...nor does he hold back in his laughter. Especially with your insistence that his laugh is cute.

That scenario with Kaeya is entirely an accident, proof of just how used to your presence he's become.

It's a late night and you're out with a bigger group of friends than usual, some friends that Albedo's only known since the start of college, but definitely good ones.

With a drink in your hand you all sit at a large table, chatting about anything and everything when you crack a joke and Albedo snorts.

Not like a snort with his normally quiet chuckle, either.

Instead, he's laughing hard, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and stomach hurting (and maybe it's because of the few sips of drink he's had) and he snorts. The moment the sound escapes him and he's trying hard to calm back down, Kaeya grins.

He's most definitely one of the first people to put two and two together.

After all, Albedo keeps to himself, even around them. But with you around? There's a certain spark of life that ignites.

-

It's no surprise that the two of you are close when all is said and done.

But that doesn't stop either of you from choking and cheeks from flushing when someone asks if you're a couple. It happens often--too often to count--and ranges between Kaeya's teasing comments and a few sweet words from an elderly woman passing by your table at the cafe.

And you laugh--you and Albedo--because no, no, you're just friends.

Right?

Then the light hits your features just right, illuminating you in a soft glow that makes your eyes shine and--

It's undeniable the way that he feels for you. The sudden quickening of his heartbeat is proof enough. You slide your drink towards him for him to try and he does the same, eyes unable to leave your lips as you take a sip and then smile.

Between the cracks of his appreciation, of this warmth, dread seeps.

Though...that was just over a week ago.

Sitting down back at his apartment, your head resting on his chest and your hands intertwined while you watch whatever's on tv, you shift. Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

And Albedo wonders how neither of you managed to see it sooner.

[gc-genshin]

Chapter Four: Epiphany

Epiphany (n.): a sudden insight or understanding of something.

Pairing: Various x female reader

Summary: You get an idea of what's going on… sort of.

Warnings: Explicit language.

Word count: 12.7k (holy shit my bad)

A/N: Uh… *taps mic* hello?? Is this book still relevant?? Did y'all miss me? Lmao, lot of shit happened the past months so I wasn't really able to focus on this story unfortunately. I hope this extra long chapter makes up for the wait! Plus this isn't proofread and I'll add the taglist later, I'm ready to post this chapter.

Happy reading!

Your first week of working at the Wangshu Inn was… uneventful, to say the least.

Other than being hectic trying to take care of guests because of Lantern Rite, nothing really surprising has happened. Which you suppose was a good thing.

After your little drinking incident that happened a few days ago…

—

“Perhaps…” Xiao started and you waited with a baited breath, nervous as to what he was going to say. “You are in need of some assistance, you imbecile.”

You looked at him with hazy and unfocused eyes. In your drunken stupor, you could only respond to him with an embarrassed laugh.

“Aha, yeah…” You trailed off awkwardly. Your eyes then began to droop dangerously low as a sudden wave of drowsiness had hit you. Xiao could only watch as you instantly passed out in his arms while letting out small snores. The adeptus let out an aggravated sigh as he picked up and carried you to your shared room, already regretting the decision of taking care of you.

—

It was safe to say you didn't see him for a day or two.

Today was Friday. One day before the Mingxiao Lantern was released. Goldet had decided to already pay you for your two weeks because of how hard you were working, which you tried to decline, but Goldet was as stubborn as you so you reluctantly accepted the money.

You were sweeping the reception area, bored out of your mind. You were done with all of your chores but you still wanted to work and be productive. You turn your head when you hear Goldet heave a sigh.

“Lantern Rite is nearly here, why don't we decorate the inn this year?” She asks you.

That line sounds familiar. You tilt your head, feigning confusion. “Lantern Rite? What's that?”

Goldet looks at you surprised. “Oh! Don't you know? On the first full moon of the first month each year, Liyue celebrates the Lantern Rite. It's a festival to commemorate the heroes from the past. After dark, the people release Xiao and Mingxiao Lanterns into the night sky.” She began explaining. “Ah... "May the flames of wisdom spread to all, and never be extinguished." This is the meaning of the lanterns. We believe they act as the beacons in the night, guiding bygone heroes back to their homeland.”

You gaze at her in wonder. “That sounds like a magnificent festival.” If I cried during the cutscene from the game, I wonder how much of a mess I would be if I was able to see it in person.

“Do you want to get involved in the Lantern Rite?” Goldet asks.

You nodded. “From the way you were talking about it, it sounds like a wonderful experience.”

Goldet clapped her hands excitedly. “That's great! The festive period leading up to the day itself is all part of the celebrations. If you're looking to take part, it's not too late.”

You thought for a moment. “Wait, so you're telling me that I don't have to work?” You asked Goldet.

She let out a small gasp as if she was shocked you would even suggest such a thing. “Oh Archons no! I would never ask you to work on a holiday such as Lantern Rite!” She exclaimed. You blink at her a few times, caught off guard by her slight outburst, and she laughed at your expression. “Haha... During this time, we pray to bring peace and ward off bad luck. Liyue locals call it "bidding farewell to the old and welcoming the new."

After hearing Goldet exclaim, Huai’an, her husband and the innkeeper, came to see what the commotion was. “Verr, are you alright? I heard you yell.” He asked with a concerned look.

Both you and Goldet turned to him. “I'm fine, dear. I was just explaining to [Name] the history behind Lantern Rite.” Goldet tells him. “Can you believe this will be her first time celebrating it?”

Huai’an gives you a look of surprise. “You've never experienced Lantern Rite?”

From the way they were talking about it, you almost felt embarrassed to say no. You hunch your shoulders and meekly shake your head at him.

Huai’an noticed your timid state. “Well isn't this exciting?” He quietly asked Goldet. He then turned to you. “Lantern Rite truly is a wonderful experience so I have no doubt that you'll enjoy it. Plus I can teach you how to make Xiao Lanterns!” He gives you an encouraging smile.

You give them both a wide eyed stare. “So… I'll be able to go to Lantern Rite? You don't need me for anything?”

Goldet shook her head while laughing. “No, you silly girl. Everybody will be in the city to release lanterns, so the inn won’t be very busy that night.” She gives you a soft smile. “Go and have fun.”

Shit I might just cry. You looked at Goldet teary eyed. “Boss!” You wept comically. “You're too kind, boss! Paying me in advance, giving me a roof over my head, letting me go to Lanter Rite! What did I ever do to have such a wonderful boss?” You cried out and glomped her into a hug. You were totally using your younger appearance as an advantage to act more childish because you would have never done this with any other boss.

Goldet laughed at you, reciprocating the hug. “And what did I do to deserve such a wonderful employee? You've been working so hard since you've started, it would be cruel of me not to let you go and enjoy the festival.” She tells you while swaying side to side. You've come to realize that Goldet was starting to become like the older sister you never had.

You both pull away from the hug. “Plus,” Goldet began, “I paid you early in advance so that you would be able to go shopping.” She gives you a cheeky smirk. “Can't have you wearing my clothes and your uniform the entire time you're here.”

You laugh at that. “You're right.” You grin at her and Huai'an. “Thank you both so much, for all that you've done for me.” You say sincerely.

“Of course [Name]. Now go have fun shopping.” She gestures to the balcony. “I think you've just about swept the floorboards down to splinters.”

You thank Goldet again and give her one last hug before running to your room to change. But as you were making your way up the stairs, Goldet called out to you. “Oh [Name]! Um… also,” she trailed off uncertainly.

You crinkle your eyebrows in confusion. “What's up?”

“If you're able to…” she cleared her throat. “... could you... try to convince Xiao to go with you?” She asked. She then let out a sigh. “We're not close, I wouldn't know how to ask him myself. But it seems that you've grown familiar with him.”

You look at her confused. You? Being close with Xiao? Yeah, the thought sounds nice but there's no way you have already ‘grown familiar’ with him in just a week. If anything he tolerates you at best since you've forcefully wormed your way into his life.

“Really?” You tilt your head. “Xiao doesn't seem to be one for crowds.” Sorry Aether, I might have to steal your idea. “I mean, I'll try and convince him but I can't make any promises.”

Goldet let out a resigned sigh. “I suppose you're right… Anyway! Just thought I'd mention it. You should get yourselves down to the harbor.”

She then shoos you off with a smile. “Get going! If you leave too late, the city will be crowded with people and you won't be able to make the most of it.”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yes ma’am! Happy Lantern Rite!” You wave to her and Huai'an.

They both wave back. “Happy Lantern Rite!”

—

You burst into your room, practically vibrating in excitement at the thought of having your own clothes. You hurriedly started to strip out of your uniform, unaware of the curious gaze that came from your current roommate.

Xiao was currently leaning against the railing on the balcony that accompanied the room and was wondering why you were in such a rush. As he turned to question you, he instantly turned back around upon seeing you reach behind yourself to start buttoning your dress, keeping his gaze on the scenery before him. Xiao let out a deep breath and rubbed his forehead in aggitaion. I just can't get used to her doing that.

However, when you start to undress, you notice Xiao quickly turn around out of the corner of your eyes. Halting your movements, you call out to the young adeptus as you buttoned your uniform back up. “Sorry Xiao! I didn't know you were there!” And you made your way to the bathroom.

Hearing you say his name made Xiao tense up in surprise and furrow his eyebrows. He was one hundred percent certain that you would have just kept undressing in the middle of the room, being the shameless mortal that you are, but you didn't. You instead moved to change in a different room. Huh… perhaps she does have some decency.

You quickly came out of the bathroom after that interaction, dressed in Goldet’s clothes for the last time. Seeing Xiao still out on the balcony, you walk up to his side while enjoying the warm breeze.

Xiao looked at you from the corner of his eyes, nearly seeing the excitement radiate off you. “Where are you going in such a rush?” He asked. You perk up when hearing his voice and swivel your head to him.

“Goldet is letting me go experience the festival!” You exclaimed excitedly. “Isn't that great?”

Xiao rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. “What's so great about releasing glowing trash into the sky only for it to return to the sea?”

You hummed. “Well, it's like any other tradition I suppose. It's not so much the actual festival or ritual that matters but more of the meaning behind it instead.” You shrug. “Plus it gives me an excuse to go shopping, you coming with?”

“No.”

You let out a groan and roll your eyes. Even though you were expecting it, you couldn't help but feel a little disheartened at his answer. “Why not?” You question. Although I already know why.

Xiao gave you a look. “I don't enjoy large crowds of people.”

You let out a sigh. “Fiiiiine,” you drawl out, “no means no so I guess I'll stop bothering you about it.”

Xiao raised an eyebrow. Really? She's going to quit just like that? He looked at you dubiously.

“For now.” You added mischievously with a smirk.

There it is. Xiao should have known better. He found out that you were too damn stubborn to give up easily pretty quickly. He shook his head at you. “Do you plan on leaving soon?” He changed the subject.

You nod. “I was going to leave as soon as I changed but then I saw you and just had to talk to you.”

That made Xiao scrunch his eyebrows. “You just had to talk to me? Why's that?”

You look towards him and give him a closed eyes smile. “Because I wanted too! Plus you're my friend and I enjoy your company.”

Xiao gave you a once over. A heavy feeling settled in his chest when you referred to him as a “friend”. That word left a bitter taste in his mouth. Everyone that he ever considered a friend had either died or left him in some way, and he never bothered to keep in contact with the current adepti, so the thought of you wanting to be in his company was worrying. Who knows how long it'll be until his karmic debt finally catches up to him…

And drags you along with him.

Xiao narrowed his eyes at you. You immediately took notice of his tense state and swallowed at the harsh glare he gave you. Uh oh. You let out an uncomfortable laugh. I don't think he liked that.

“What have I told you about getting close?” He asked harshly which caused you to curl in on yourself slightly.

“In the thousands of years that have passed, I have taken countless wraiths,” he began, “so if you want no trouble, it’s best you keep your distance from me.” After he finished scolding you he turned to leave, going to do who knows what. You watched as he seemingly stormed away. Slightly panicking that he was leaving because you had upset him, you steeled your nerves and asked the first thing that came to your head.

“But what if I want trouble?”

Your question made Xiao stop in his tracks. He turned to look at you confused. You wore an expression that was full of confidence that waived slightly.

“What if I don’t want to keep my distance away from you?” You continued. “You told me to “stay out of your way or all that awaits me is regret”, right?” You quickly stride over to him and jab a finger in his chest.

“Well guess what honey? That's a risk I'm willing to take.” You tell him fiercely. “I make my own choices and if I happen to make bad choices then I will deal with the consequences of those choices.” You place a hand on your chest and glare at him determinedly.

“You have no say in what I ultimately can and can't do, Xiao. Only. I. do.” You finally finish and place your hands on your hips defiantly.

Xiao looked at you blankly, trying to process what you had just said. When he finally did, he looked at you sternly. “Is that really what you want?”

“More than anything.” Your eyes bore deep into him, not wavering in the slightest in your decision. “You saved my life. The least I can do for you is offer you my company and assistance in any way for not letting me splatter all over the ground. Even if you don't want it.”

After a few heartbeats of silence, Xiao reluctantly gave in and sighed while crossing his arms. “You are the most troublesome human I've had the displeasure of knowing.”

You smiled triumphantly. “Glad we're on the same page!”

“Well I'll be heading off now. Do you need anything?” You ask as you start heading towards the door.

“Nothing in the city would be of use to an adeptus.” He responds. “Don't forget your blade.”

You promptly made a 180 turn and walked towards your nightstand where a little dagger laid. Since you weren't able to fully wield a bigger weapon and don't understand how they do the whole whooshy thing to make their weapons disappear, I think he called it “particulation” or something like that, Xiao insisted that you had some form of weapon to protect yourself with.

You grabbed the knife and clipped it parallel to your belt, allowing your shirt to conceal it. “I don't see the reason as to why I have to have this thing. Aren't the Millelith scattered along the road to Liyue?” You then turn to Xiao and tilt your head. “Plus I can just call you whenever I'm in trouble.” Though that would probably be a last resort for me.

“I don't trust those lousy soldiers.” Xiao huffed.

You raised your eyebrow and pursed your lips, nodding in agreement. “Yeah… I don't blame ya.”

“Anyways,” you shrug, “are you sure you don't want to come with me?”

Xiao only shook his head. “Best you go alone. There's no need for me to be there.”

You look at him with big doe eyes, trying to convince him to at least walk you to the harbor. “But the road from here to Liyue Harbor is long and full of dangers... I need someone to ensure my safety!” You exclaim, seemingly scared.

“That's why I gave you your blade.” The adeptus gave you a bored look upon his handsome face.

You then startled Xiao when you clapped your hands into a prayer position and brought them to your head. “O Vigilant Yaksha, please escort me safely to the city!” You cry out.

Xiao tensed at your sudden decloration. Normally, Xiao was used to other’s praying to him and hearing their wishes but when you did it, it made him feel… fidgety. You seemed to hold yourself in a high regard that you didn't let anyone have control over your actions, so it was odd to see you with your head bowed to him.

Xiao crossed his arms and looked away from you. “Quit that. There's no need for you to bow to me.”

You perked up, an excited gleam in your eyes. “So you'll come with me?”

“So be it. I won't be going into the city though.” He retorted.

You throw him a smile. “That's fine!” You straighten back up and open the door. “Come on, let's go!” You wave at him.

Xiao shook his head at your antics and began to follow you. And to think that she's a grown adult. “Wait.” He called out.

You stop in your tracks and look back at Xiao confused. “Huh? Why?”

Xiao walks up to your left side and grabs your bicep. You looked at him even more perplexed. What is he doing?

You then began to feel a strong gust of wind swirl around you and in an instant, darkness flooded your vision and a familiar feeling of nausea came over you. When you opened your eyes again, you saw the gates of Liyue below the hill you were on.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to keep from puking everywhere, as you begin to process that Xiao had just teleported you both to Liyue.

“Here we are.” Xiao released your arm.

“Would have been nice to know beforehand.” You groan. After feeling like you weren't going to empty your guts out, you look up and let out a small gasp.

In front of you stood an archway that led to the bridge that entered into the city. Looking beyond that, you could see the beautiful Chinese architecture of the buildings that filled Liyue Harbor with the magnificent decorations of Lantern Rite along the city. You gaped at the scene before you. Holy shit…

Xiao swiveled his head to give a hard stare. “Don't go and cause any trouble.” He warned you.

That caused you to let out a snort. “Yeah, yeah, sure. What are you, my dad?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Why did we teleport?”

“So I wouldn't have to listen to talk my ear off all day.” He responded bluntly, causing you to let out an offended gasp. “And I told you,” he continued before you could tell him off. “so long as you are in Liyue, it is my duty to protect you and not let any harm come to you.” Xiao reiterated.

“Wow… you really are my dad. But that's a pretty big responsibility. You sure you can follow through with it?” You question.

“Are you questioning my abilities as an adeptus?” He asked gruffly. He then leaned in closer to your face. “I always take care of my duties.” Xiao finished while staring you straight in the eyes.

Your eyes widened in surprise at his declaration. The way he said that so firmly and confidently made your chest feel light before tightening, a familiar feeling of guilt settling in, causing you to look away and frown. Shit… not now.

Noticing the change in your demeanor, Xiao tilted his head confused. “What's wrong?”

Shaking your head to get rid of the self-deprecating thoughts that were forming, you look up at him with reassuring eyes. “It's nothing.” You tell him with a small smile.

Going back to your seemingly old self, you give Xiao a look. “Alrighty,” You turn towards him and hold out your pinkie, “pinky promise it then.”

He gave your pinky an inquisitive look. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “You have heard of a pinky promise before, right?”

Xiao squinted his eyes at you. “Is this another strange human gesture?”

“Eh, I wouldn't necessarily say it's strange. More endearing than anything.” You hold your dominant hand and make a “give it” gesture. “Give me your hand.”

Xiao hesitantly puts his hand in yours. You close it into a fist, only leaving out his pinky. You then bring your own pinky and lock it with his own. “Now say your promise again.” Xiao looked at you reluctantly. You let out a groan. “Come on dude, just do it please?” You say giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

Xiao sighed. “I promise, so long as you are in Liyue, that I will protect you and not let any harm come to you.” He looked at your still entwined pinkies. As he said this, a gentle breeze drifted between the two of as if it was sealing the promise between you and Xiao. Xiao watched as the wind suddenly made your hair flutter around you and the way the afternoon sun casted just the right amount of shadows on your features as you looked up at him. At the moment he didn't see the fifteen year old features that made up your current face but the mature, more sharper features that he saw from your most recent pictures and student ID.

“Now what?” Her hands are really warm.

You give him a smile. “That's it!” You then let go of his pinky, bringing your hand back to your side.

He looked at you confused. “That's it? Nothing special happens?”

“The special thing about pinky promises is that the person who broke the promise gets their pinky cut off by the other person who made the promise.” You say to him.

“That's quite gruesome for such a little act.” Humans confused him so much.

“I think it was more of a scare tactic for kiddos than anything really.” You shrug. You then started walking to the city. “I'll see you later Xiao!” You call out with a grin.

“Be careful.” He told you with a subtle nod, which made your smile somehow even brighter, before teleporting away. You then turned back around and practically skipped to Liyue.

—

You made your way down the hill and soon came upon the gate that led to the city. In front of it stood two guards, you couldn't bother to remember their names, who gave you a nice ‘welcome to Liyue Harbor’ as you walked past them. As you walked over the bridge you saw the Mingxiao Lantern standing tall in all its glory. Continuing on, you finally stepped foot in the city. With a look of amazement on your face, you spun around while trying to take in all of the decorations.

I can't believe I'm actually here… You let out a disbelieving laugh and began to feel your eyes become misty. Am I really tearing up right now? Oh my God I am. You shake your head trying to get your emotions in check. As you carry on walking further, the infamous somewhat creepy shipowner, Bolai spots you looking around like a lost puppy. Which you really weren't, you were just hypnotized by the decorations.

“Hello young lady!” He called out to you. You whipped your head towards him, slightly startled. When you realized who was talking, you made a small grimace. Oh… it's that really creepy guy that I don't like.

As he makes his way towards you, you put your guard up as you straighten your back. “Hello.”

Bolai raised an eyebrow as he stopped short of you. “What a strange accent. Are you perhaps foreign?” He questioned.

You furrow your eyebrows. I have an accent? “Something like that.” You reply with a shrug your shoulders nonchalantly and a ghost of a smile on your face. Ain't no way in hell are you talking about yourself to him.

Bolai narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously. How interesting. “Quite the mysterious one, you are. Tell me, young lady, where do you hail from? Fontaine? Sumeru?”

“Sure.” You tell him halfheartedly. Why the fuck is he grilling me so hard? I should probably give him some sort of answer so he'll leave me alone. “I traveled a lot so I never really had a distinctive place to call home.” You smoothly lied. Well… it wasn't entirely a lie.

Believing your little fib, Bolai’s face softens into a look of realization. A young girl like you didn't have a home growing up? Is that what you were hinting at?

Taking notice of the subtle pity look that crossed his gaze, you groan internally. Great, now he's going to think that I never had a home. Whoops!

“Well just know that you are always welcomed here in Liyue,” He reassured you, kinda. Your eyebrows raise slightly in surprise from that. “And if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you can always come to me.” He finished ominously while giving you a smile that seemed a little too kind.

You leaned your torso away from the strange man and looked at him mildly creeped out, yet kept a polite smile on your face. “Duly noted… thanks.” Trailing off, you maneuvered your way around and sped walked away from Bolai. A fake shiver runs through your body. Ugh… just as creepy as I remember.

You continued further into the city. Your head was constantly moving from left to right, up and down, taking in the gorgeous decorations that littered the buildings and streets. Pulling out the Mora pouch that Goldet gave you, you recounted the money that you earned from your first week working. 60,500 Mora… that should be plenty right? You paused. Actually, isn't that a lot of money? This seems like a lot for just a week of work. After pondering a few moments, you shrug the thought off.

You made sure to visit almost all the food stalls that were on the harbor to experience Liyue’s cuisine authentically, as well as how to make Xiao lanterns. After doing all the activities you possibly could, you made your way up the gigantic steps that led to the main road of the city.

As you made it to the top, you put your hands on your knees trying to catch your breath. From being on your feet all day from working plus the training the Xiao puts you through, it's safe to say you were pretty damn tired. You're kidding me. I can not be this out of shape! You thought.

Heaving one last breath, you straighten back up. You looked out to see the streets bustling with people with a slight grimace on your face at the crowds of people. You absolutely hated crowds of people because being around them just completely drains your energy.

However, your curiosity and astonishment motivated you to move forward. As you walked through the city, you kept an eye out for any clothing shops because you needed your own clothes, since that's pretty much what you came here for.

Letting your gaze continue to search through the windows of various different shops, your eyes landed on an article of clothing that caught your attention. You quickly make your way to the store and opened the doors, causing a bell above the door to let out a little chime and alert the store owner and other shoppers of your presence.

“Welcome!” They called out. You give them a small wave in response as you make your way over to the outfit. Once you made it, you reached your hand out to feel the smooth silk of the fabric. It was a beautiful sleeveless, purple dress that reached the middle of your thighs. Around the skirt of the dress laid two longer pieces that were a darker purple and draped along the sides. The top of the dress was two different colors, the right being a dark purple that were the same color of the longer pieces while the left was a lighter purple that matched the skirt, and had a high collar and with an opening in the chest area. The dress also adorned what looked like a wide obi belt, but you weren't too sure. The whole dress was trimmed with gold accents and had gold swirls all along it. Next to the dress were a pair of low ankle boots that matched the color theme.

This was the one.

You yoink it off the rack and look around for the owner. When you found them, you asked if they had any dressing rooms to try on the dress to which they led you to one. You begin to strip as soon as the door closes behind you. I really hope it fits otherwise I'll be heart broken.

As you slipped the dress over your head you zipped up the side and fastened the button on the collar. When you turn around to face the mirror, your eyes widen in surprise. Holy shit… I've never had a dress fit me so well. The dress sat magnificently on you and accentuated your curves. However… You looked down at your chest to see that your bra from your universe was most definitely visible thanks to the opening that went from the collar of the dress to the belt. I'm gonna have to do something about that. Looking back in the mirror you took notice of your tattoos. Those as well. You thought for a moment. Plus I don't particularly like wearing dresses unless I have leggings or something underneath it.

You begin to take the dress off and put your other clothes back on. I wonder if they would have some kind of body suit or something… You put the dress back on the hanger but continue to hold on to it. Making your way back towards the racks of clothing you begin your search.

As you walk through the aisles of clothing, you notice a black full body suit hanging on one of the racks. Bingo! You thought with a smile. You made your way to the suit, but you failed to notice the other body that was backing up into you.

Feeling a sudden weight on your right side, you stumble a little due to the force. However, the person that ran into had lost their balance and started to fall to the ground. Eyes widening in surprise, you were quick to catch them by grabbing them under their arms. When you looked down to check on the person to see if they were okay, you felt your breath hitch.

Staring back at you startled are lavender colored eyes that were lined with dark, thick lashes that belong to the one and only Ganyu.

You begin to feel your cheeks grow warm as you look down at the gorgeous half-adeptus in your arms. Ohfuckohfuckohfu– “Are you okay?” You asked worriedly. When you looked up to see what could have caused her to trip, you were greeted with the sight of a man that looked a little too pleased with himself. As he looked away from Ganyu and up to you, you made sure to give him the coldest glare you could manage – which made the man’s smirk falter and back up just a little.

Fucker.

Ganyu blinked as she came back to her senses. “Y-yes! I'm alright.” She gives you an appreciative smile. “Thank you.”

You return her smile. “It's no problem.” As you help her upright, you lean closer to her ear. “Do you know this guy?” You whispered. She looks at you from the corner of her eye and subtly shakes her head no.

You looked up to the creep and gave him an ‘innocent’ smile. “Is everything alright here?”

Realizing the slight hostile undertone in your voice, the man gives you a strained look. “Y-yes, everything's fine!” He stuttered and gestured to Ganyu. “I just thought I'd give this young lady a little help.”

Your eyes flicker from her back to the man. “She looks to be just fine on her own. What does she need help with?”

The man’s opens then closes, trying to think of a good excuse. “I… uh… well, she-!” You cut the man off with a raised hand.

“I'm going to stop you there. You're making yourself look like a fool.” You chastise. “It's obvious what you're doing and you're clearly making her uncomfortable. I suggest you stop now before you keep digging your grave even deeper.”

Eyes blown open and mouth agape, the man stares at you in shock from your words. Was I really that obvious? The man thought. He felt himself cowering in on himself under the heavy gaze of the two girls.

“Well, whatever.” He scoffed while avoiding eye contact, seemingly trying to act tough. “It's not like she was actually attractive.” Yet he received no reaction from either of the girls, as they continued to stare. The man began to fidget from their silence, then quickly turned around and left the store.

Both you and Ganyu let out a sigh. “Thankfully, that's over.” You tilt your head at Ganyu. “Does that happen often?”

“No, that was the first time it has ever happened.” She reveals. She then bows toward you. “Thank you for helping me.” When Ganyu straightens back up, she places a hand on her chest while giving you a sweet smile. “My name is Ganyu, secretary of the Yuhai Pavilion.”

God, she's even more gorgeous in real life… You flush a little as you give her a small bow in return. “It's nice to meet you, Miss Ganyu. I'm [Name] [Last Name].”

“It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss [Last Name]. Again, I do apologize for bumping into you earlier.” She tells you.

You wave your hand dismissively. “Just call me [Name], please. Calling me by my last name makes me feel old.” You joke.

Ganyu tilts her head curiously at you. “If I may ask, how old are you?” She asks innocently.

You pause, processing her question. Damn it. “I'm fifteen.” You manage out. I really hate telling people that because then they'll treat me like a child…

“Really?” She wonders aloud. “You're quite mature for your age and you seemed to know exactly what to do in the situation that happened earlier…” She trailed off.

You freeze hearing that. Oh shit! Has she caught on already?! You let out an awkward laugh. “Yeah, mature…” You say while making a subtle face. Although Xiao would disagree otherwise.

“Anyways, thank you once again for helping me. Is there anything I can do for you in return?” Ganyu asks.

You bring a finger to your chin and hum in thought. “Actually there is.” While Ganyu waits patiently for your request, you give her a smile. “Would you know of any stores that would have a body suit?”

The beautiful half-adeptus perks up in response. “As a matter of fact, this store has the same ones that I wear. Let me show you.” She then beckons you to follow her.

You do so with a skip in your step.

—

You and Ganyu soon left the shop, with you now wearing your new outfit that screamed main character. Thankfully the body suit was able to cover all of your tattoos. As you continued through the city, making light conversations with Ganyu, you watched as two little boys, who looked to be around the age of ten, chased each other around the streets while laughing. You watched them with a small smile. While you didn't like kids, you didn't necessarily hate them either. Plus it was kind of your profession to be able to take care of them as well. But you definitely didn't want any kids. Well, right now at least.

You watched as they weaved through the legs of strangers, trying to avoid getting hit. However, as the one with light blue hair raised a hand out in order to tag the other little boy with darker blue hair and an asymmetrical cut, a man that wasn't paying attention to what was in front of him went to take a step and kneed the poor boy hard in the head. The pale blue haired boy went down in an instant.

You let out a snort and raised a hand to your mouth to hide that you were laughing. “That poor kid just ate shit.” You couldn't help but let out a few chuckles at the kids unfortunate situation. Ganyu looked at you confused from the corner of her eyes. I'm a horrible person.

“I'm so sorry, buddy! Are you okay?” The young man that hit the boy asked as he crouched down. He received no reply as the boy laid still. The man started to shake the boy, seemingly beginning to panic.

“Hey…” He called out once more. “Are you okay?” He shook the boy frantically. Still, he received no reply. “This isn't funny, kid. Wake up!”

You stopped laughing and straightened your posture as your ‘doctor mode’ kicked in. Now you were getting concerned. Thousands of scenarios ran through your mind as to why the kid wasn't getting up. Is he concussed? Is he faking it? What's going on?

The other little boy that was running away, turned around when he heard yelling. His orange eyes widened in fear. “Chongyun!” He cried out and began running back to his friend.

Realization dawned on you. Those kids were Xingqiu and Chongyun. Your feet moved before you even noticed it as you rushed towards Chongyun and the man. Ganyu jumped when you began running and raised a hand to stop you. “[Name], wait!” But you were too far away to hear her over the people walking around.

A crowd began to form around the two to see what was happening. This caused the young man to panic even more. He looked up to the crowd. “Is there a doctor here? Please, anyone!” He cried out desperately, yet no one made a move to help.

You shook your head at the crowd. I see that the Bystander Effect is still a thing here. Xingqiu made it to Chongyun before you did, then got to his knees as soon as he reached him and started tapping Chongyun on the shoulder. “Chongyun?” He asked. “Wake up ‘Yun!”

You finally made it to the crowd and started elbowing your way through. “Excuse me! I'm a doctor, please let me through!” You yell out to the pedestrians. They turned and looked at you skeptically. Your lip curled up into a sneer at the people's ignorance. I don't have time for this.

“I said MOVE!” You yell out startling them in the process and forcing them to move. “Thank you!” You say exasperatedly, not forgetting your manners apparently. You quickly made your way over to Chongyun and got to your knees behind his head, gently placing your hands on either of his cheeks in order to stabilize his neck, in case he had injured it. Xingqiu noticed you and looked at you with tears eyes, worried out of his mind for his friend.

You looked to the man who started this whole mess. “What's going on? What happened?” You asked hurriedly while you checked Chongyun’s pulse.

The man seemed to be in a daze as he answered. “This kid just came out of nowhere. I had accidentally hit him with my knee and now he's not waking up.” He explained shakily. “Then this other kid just now showed up.” He pointed to Xingqiu. He then looked at you confused. “Aren't you a little young to be a doctor?”

You look at the man and give him a glare. “I don't think that matters right now since I'm the only one who even bothered to step in and help the poor child.” You glared at the rest of the crowd when you finished which made them avoid eye contact with you. Murmurs started to float through the crowd. What was this girl doing? Who is she? She's clearly too young to be a doctor.

You ignore their not so quiet whispering and look over to Xingqiu, giving him a reassuring smile. “Hey buddy,” you started softly. “What's your name?”

The normally composed boy let out a sniffle. “Xingqiu.” He responded. “My friend, Chongyun, isn't opening his eyes! Can you help?” He asked pleadingly.

“Don't worry baby, I'm a doctor.” You tell him, the pet name subconsciously slipping out of habit from when you worked with kids. “I'm going to help him and make sure he's okay.” Seventy beats per minute. Normal heart rate. Nineteen breaths per minute. Normal respiratory rate. If he wakes up soon, it'll most likely be just a slight concussion. You mentally start going down the checklist for head trauma patients when Chongyun finally opens his eyes.

Quickly taking notice, you yell at the crowd. “Everyone back up please! The kid is waking up so give him some space!” The crowd immediately backs away. You look back down at the boy who was wincing from the sunlight.

“Hey honey,” You gently try to get his attention, “can you hear me?”

Chongyun opened his eyes fully and looked at you, confused before squinting from the sunlight. From his position on the ground and the way the sunlight was hitting his baby blue eyes, you were able to see that his pupils were equal in size. Good. No anisocoria, no serious brain damage.

“Wha…?” Chongyun groaned out. With your hands on his cheeks, you gently tapped them to shift his attention back to you.

“Hey honey, look at me.” You instructed. “What's your name?”

The boy paused for a moment. “Chongyun.” He answered.

Alright that's one question. “It's nice to meet you Chongyun.” You smile at him. “Chongyun, do you know how old you are?” You continued.

“I'm ten.” He responded a little quicker this time. You nodded your head at him. That's two.

“Do you know where you're at, Chongyun?” You made sure to keep saying his name so that he would focus on you.

After a moment of silence, he responded. “I'm in Liyue.” He then closed his eyes and let out another groan. “My head hurts.”

“I know, dear. One last question, okay?” You tell him. He nods. “Do you know what happened to you?”

He thought for a moment. “I was… I was chasing Xingqiu,” said boy perked up in response to his name, “we were playing tag. I almost caught him then it suddenly got dark.” He opened his eyes and looked at you. “Why did it go dark?”

You give him a look of reassurance. “Your noggin got hit pretty hard and you fell down. You were asleep for a few minutes but you'll be okay.” You tilt your head. That's the last question. A and O times 4. He's alert and aware. “Does your head still hurt?” You asked as you began to palpate his neck, feeling for any serious injuries. You removed your hands when you found none.

He nodded. “Do you feel pain anywhere else? How about your neck?” He shakes his head in response.

“Good. Do you feel like sitting up for me sweetie?” You ask. Chongyun slowly moves to sit upright with your help and you guide him to the curb to sit on so he was out of the road. Xingqiu crawled over to his friend to see how he was doing, with you reminding him to overwhelm Chongyun. As you look out towards the crowd, you see Ganyu, who was carrying a cup of what you assumed was water, make her way over to your little group. She hands you the cup, which you thank her profusely, and you give it to Chongyun.

“Drink it slowly.” You advise him. “I don't want you choking on me now that you're awake.” You tease gently while sending a subtle wink to Xingqiu, causing the young boy to giggle.

He gingerly takes the cup from your hand. “Thank you ma’am.”

“Thank you, ma’am!” Xingqiu tells you as well.

“It's not a problem.” You reassure both of them with a smile. As soon as they saw that Chongyun was okay, the crowd dispersed and continued what they were doing. However, not without whispering amongst themselves how seemingly a teenager knew exactly what to do when taking care of an injured child.

You continued to sit with the two boys to monitor Chongyun, in case something suddenly went awry. Ganyu stayed as well, astounded at the young girl before her.

“What you did was quite impressive Miss [Name]!” The half adeptus praised. “I didn't know you were so vast in medical knowledge, and at such a young age too.”

You let out a few chuckles. “Well you only just met me today Miss Ganyu.”

She then gives you a sheepish look. “I was surprised to see you help him so quickly,” she leans in closer to whisper to you, “given that you were laughing at him earlier.”

“Oh… yeah,” You let out an uncomfortable laugh. “As long as they're not seriously hurt or in any danger, kids getting hit or falling is hilarious to me.” You let out a wince. “Wow, that sounds awful.”

“Yet you didn't hesitate to help him as soon as you saw that something was wrong.” Ganyu pointed out.

You lifted your hand to pet Chongyun on the head. “Well I've always wanted to be able to put my life to good use and help people in some way, so what better way than this? Helping people in their times of need.” You give Ganyu a cheeky smirk. “I may act all tough but I'm actually a big softie.”

“I'm well aware of that now.” Ganyu chuckles.

As you visited with the half-adeptus and two young boys, you failed to notice a pair of red eyes gazing at you with a look of mischief.

—

After triple checking that Chongyun was okay and him constantly telling you that he was, you wave the boys goodbye who returned it in full. Ganyu then tells you that she should continue running errands for Lady Nigguang and you may or may not have freaked out a bit inside when you heard her name. Waving to the half adeptus as well, you continue to wander aimlessly through the city.

You soon found yourself at the Wanmin restaurant, chef Mao working swiftly in the kitchen. He soon brought out your order and after paying, you made your way to the south side wharf. As you make your way to the dock, you sit down on the edge and look out at the ocean before you while swinging your legs. You welcomed the smell of salt water and the ocean breeze that fluttered around you, yet it did nothing to quarrel your racing thoughts.

I can't believe I've already been in Teyvat for a week and still don't have a fucking clue as to how I got here in the first place. You slide your hands down your face and clasped them together in front of your mouth. And Xiao has been no help to me in that matter unfortunately. The guy still doesn't talk to me that much anyways. Plus training with him has been difficult as well. I've learned that he's a super strict teacher and I've only managed to construct only two Geo items with him this past week but that was only when I was extremely frustrated or upset, so I have no clue as to how I'm going to be able to properly control the element… or that ‘particulation’ thingy with the weapons as well.

You drop your head in your hands and let out a whine. This is all so confusing! I really wish someone or something just give me some fucking answers!

You then look up and run your hands through your hair. Turning your head to the left, you see the giant Mingxiao lantern that was ready to be released once it was dark enough. You let out a sigh and try to relax. I should probably start looking for a place to watch it when it releases tomorrow. You stand up and start walking back to Feiyan Slope. Soon you crossed over the little bridge that connects Chihu Rock and Feiyan Slope. You decided to stick closer to the buildings to try and stay away from the crowds.

However, as you were too preoccupied to not hit anybody, you didn't notice a hand reaching out from an alleyway until it was too late. You felt a harsh tug on your left arm which caused you to let out a yelp. You quickly caught your bearings and when you turned to slapped your assailant, you froze as you saw a pale face that looked to be thirteen years old inches from yours. Red eyes with strange, floral shaped pupils came with the face and was framed with dark hair that faded into red.

Holy… Hu Tao? You wondered. But she looks a lot younger? Younger than this “me” that's for sure.

You give her a confused smile. “Um… hello?” Am I just going to meet every character in Liyue today?

“You're the one Mr. Zhongli told me about!” She exclaims. “It's nice to meet you! My name is Hu Tao!”

You swore you felt your soul leave your body when you heard his name. ZHONGLI?! HE’S LOOKING FOR ME?! OH SHI-! You're cut from your thoughts when Hu Tao starts pulling you. “Hey! W-wait!”

“C’mon! Mr. Zhongli is waiting for you back at the funeral parlor. It seemed like he wasn't too happy with you so we shouldn't keep him waiting any longer!” She giggles.

Yup, I'm officially dead. Maybe now I can go back to my world and be normal again.

Soon the young girl brings you to the doors of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. You gnawed on your lower lip. Fuck… I'm more nervous now than I was when I was taking the MCAT. Maybe because I'm meeting a FUCKING GOD?! You begin to slightly hyperventilate, the reality of the situation finally sitting in. FUCKFUCKFUCKFU-

You are once again snapped out of your internal freak out by Hu Tao pulling on your arm. The girl pushes the doors open while bringing you with her. The inside is about what you expected from a funeral parlor with coffins lining along the walls along with different types of shrines. After a few twists and turns, you and Hu Tao reach a very intricate door with a plate on it that says “Consultant: Zhongli”. You clench your jaw as you could practically feel the intense aura that radiated from him even through the door.

Without even knocking, Hu Tao busts through his door. “Mr. Zhongli! I found her! This is the girl you were looking for right?”

The wind gets knocked out of you upon finally seeing him in person and your knees about damn near buckle from underneath when you make eye contact with him. If you thought Xiao’s eyes were intense, then you don't even know how to describe Zhongli’s.

The Geo Archon narrowed his eyes towards you. “Indeed it is, Hu Tao.” His deep voice rumbled throughout the entire room and shook you to your core. “You may take your leave now.”

The young girl pouted. “Aw… and I wanted to see you scold her.”

A quick glance from the corner of his eyes was enough to make Hu Tao take the hint and leave, however not without whining on her way out.

As soon as Hu Tao was gone, Zhongli stood up and took large strides towards you, causing you to start panicking. Hu Tao, why did you have to leave me alone with an Archon?! Soon the man towered over you, forcing you to look up at him. The shadows that casted over his being due to him blocking out the overhead light made his striking amber eyes all the more intimidating. You felt like you were about to be pounced on like a mouse cornered by a barn cat.

Then Zhongli lowered his face closer to yours. “So you're the outlander who took my vision without permission.” He accuses. You feel your breath hitch in your throat and your palms beginning to clam up. You had never been more intimidated in your life and you have fought against people twice your size no problem before!

“Oh…! Um, t-that was me?” You stutter out. Your eyes widen when you realize just how fucking stupid you sounded.

Zhongli coolly looked at you. “Of course it was you. I knew that you were not of this world the moment you arrived in Liyue.” He tells you firmly while staring straight into your soul. “Now, do inform me on how you were able to acquire this power without a Vision granted from me?”

The silence was deafening in the room. You thought you were just about to faint until your experience from working under pressure in the emergency room decided to kick in and not fail you as you quickly composed yourself.

“In my defense,” you raise your hands. “it was completely out of my control.”

Zhongli raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

You let out a sigh. “Here's what happened. A saw a Statue of Seven in Guili Plains, in all of its glory, and as soon as I was near it I felt a pulling sensation. Later that day I was extremely frustrated and all of a sudden a rock pillar just came out of the ground.”

Zhongli hummed in thought before finally standing back to his full height, allowing you to breathe again. He brought a hand to his chin and looked down in thought. “Interesting. I have not heard of such instances where that has ever happened, with me or any of the other Archons.” His eyes met yours again. “So what makes you special? So special that even the adeptus Xiao has decided to look after you?”

You couldn't help the exaggerated laugh that bubbled out of your throat. “Ha! I wish I knew, but your guess is as good as mine sweetheart.” You pause. “I also know that you're Morax too… if you haven't figured that out yet.” You finish meekly. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!

The Geo Archon’s eyes widen at you. “How did you know that? Where exactly did you come from?” He interrogates.

You quickly explain to him the same thing that you told Xiao, that he was from a video game and that you were aware of what was to come in the future as well as how you somehow physically de-aged.

“Interesting.” Zhongli thought for a moment. “It appears that you come from a similar universe in which our’s exists but in a completely different manner.”

“How much of our universe do you know through this ''game”?” He questions.

“I know of some future events that will happen, but the lore of the story is still a complete mystery. We don't even know how long the main story of the game is.” You say.

Zhongli pondered. “I see. If you know what is to happen in the future, then it would be best to let things run their course and not intervene with it.”

“Yeah, the butterfly effect and shit like that.” Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise as you subconsciously swore. You quickly slap a hand over your mouth. “Sorry… it's a bad habit.” You apologize quietly.

Zhongli decided to ignore your mishap. “So you're aware of what could happen. And since you're already aware of my identity, I presume that you know that I go by Zhongli now?”

You nod your head. “Yes, I do.” You then realized that you haven't introduced yourself. You quickly bowed towards him. “My name is [Name] by the way! [Name] [Last Name].”

Zhongli nodded. “It's a pleasure to finally know the name of the outlander that took my Vision without consent.”

You make a face at his snarky comment. “Is it a pleasure though?” You muttered rhetorically.

“Let's continue with your situation.” Zhongli diverted the conversation back on track. He then looked towards you. “Perhaps if you tried to remember the events that happened to you before you came here, that may give us a better idea as to the reason why you're here.” He then gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk. “Please have a seat. It will be easier for you to remember if you're comfortable.”

“I do remember being on a bridge but that's the only thing I know now.” Moving to sit down, you tuck your dress skirt underneath you and cross your legs, trying to look somewhat professional. You take a deep breath as you gather thoughts. What happened before coming here? What was I doing? You lean forward and rest your elbows on your knee while interlacing your hands, then put your forehead against them. You close your eyes and your eyebrow twitches into a furrow as you begin to concentrate. [e/c] eyes move rapidly behind eyelids as memories start to form.

“A hospital…” You began. “I was working a shift in the hospital.”

—

“Hi Miss Bradford!” You cheerily call out as you knock on the door. The old woman looked up from her magazine and smiled at you with dull blue eyes.

“Dr. [Last Name]. How are you doing sweetheart?” She asks softly. Miss Bradford was a quiet old lady in her seventies with salt and pepper hair and the brightest, most gorgeous blue eyes you had ever seen.

That was before she had started chemotherapy.

Miss Bradford was your most recent patient. You had treated her a few months ago when she came to your emergency room with intense chest pains. After taking multiple different CAT scans and MRIs, you and several other doctors had concluded her diagnosis as breast cancer. Although you admitted her to Oncology, she kept having complications when she had started chemotherapy; causing you to see her quite frequently.

Today was the day Miss Bradford would start her third round of chemo and you decided to bring her her favorite lunch before starting. Miss Bradford was hell bent on beating this cancer but after her most recent round she had started to lose her appetite. Which was never a good sign for a cancer patient.

“I'm doing well, thank you. And I thought I told you to call me [Name]?” You grab a chair and pull it up next to her bed.

She gives you a small smile. “But you worked so hard to earn the title of a doctor. I'm only giving you the respect you deserve.”

You shook your head playfully at the older woman. “How're you feeling today?”

She let out a sigh. “Tired, but better than yesterday. I'm ready to get this damn treatment over with.” She grumbled.

“That's good! Do you feel like eating today?” You ask.

She shook her head. “Not really but knowing you, you'll probably force me to eat anyways.” She looked at the plastic sack in your hand. “Whatcha got there?”

“Well hopefully this will bring your appetite back for today. It's your favorite!” You raise the bag higher and place it on her food tray. “Almond Tofu! I remember you telling me that it was your go to desert when you lived in Singapore, so I had one of my foreign exchange friends teach me how to make it.” You let out a dramatic sigh. “I can't tell you how many times I messed up baking this damn dessert.”

Miss Bradford looked at the sweet treat with tears in her eyes. “Oh, [Name]…” She let out a wet laugh. “You didn't have to do that.”

You smiled at the older woman. “I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to.”

She suddenly reaches over as quickly as all the tubes hooked up to her allowed her and brought you into a tight hug. You fretted over her before she cut you off.

“Thank you, [Name].” She whispered. You reciprocated her hug gently.

“You're welcome, Miss Bradford. Though I can't guarantee it'll be just like the real thing.” You playfully warned.

She let out a laugh as she pulled away from the hug. “I'm sure it will be wonderful.” She gives you a grateful smile. She then evenly separates the dessert and gives you half of it. You shook your hands no at the offer.

“No no, Miss Bradford, I made this for you so you don't have to share it with me.” You politely decline.

She glares at you but smiles. “I know I don't have to but I want to.” She quipped.

You gasp. “How dare you throw my own words back at me!”

“Just take the damn dessert, Dr. [Last Name].” She laughed out loud.

Letting out a sigh, you grab the plate from her and begin to eat with her. You both chatted for a couple of minutes after finishing before you were paged to be back down in the emergency room. You grabbed the plastic container the dessert was in and threw it away. As you moved the chair back to its proper place, you looked at Miss Bradford.

Reaching a hand out, you place it over her own. “Thank you for eating today, Miss Bradford.” You tell her sincerely. “I know it's getting hard but all of the nurses are telling me that you're doing great.”

“Just two more rounds and it will be over.” You encouraged her.

The older woman nods as she grasps your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. A nonverbal thank you.

“Do you need anything else before I leave?” You ask.

She shakes her head. “No, Dr. [Last Name]. I'm quite alright. Now go save some lives.” She lets go of your hand and shoos you off.

You roll your eyes teasingly. “I'll be back to check on you after your treatment. Try not to see me this time around!” You open the door and wave back at her. “Good luck! You got this!” You then swiftly leave the room and head back to your station.

As soon as you were gone, Miss Bradford’s smile dropped immediately. She laid her head back and lifelessly looked at the ceiling. Tears started to fall from her cobalt eyes as she thought about you and the gift you had made for her.

“I'm gonna miss you, [Name].” She whispered into the empty room.

—

After three days, you fortunately had the day off from working so you immediately went to go see Miss Bradford.

You soon made it to the familiar room. “Hi Miss Bradford! How do you feel-” You stop in your tracks upon seeing Miss Bradford lying in front of you. The older woman looked nothing like what you had seen three days prior. Her beautiful salt and pepper hair had begun to fall out and her skin looked like it was barely hanging onto her bones.

You quickly come back to reality. This is what chemo does. And elderly people tend to not survive the drug. You remind yourself.

You take a deep breath and walk towards the bed. “Miss Bradford?” You call out. “It's me, Dr. [Last Name].”

The woman slowly opened her eyes. Her bleary and glazed over eyes tiredly searched for the voice calling out to her before landing on your form. Her dull blue eyes light up in recognition.

“[Name].” She croaked out yet still gave you a smile.

You give a smile right back to her. “Hi Miss Bradford.” You greet softly. You squat down next to the bed so it was easier to make eye contact. “How're you feeling?”

She let out a tired sigh. “Like shit.”

You chuckled quietly before you both sat in silence for a few moments. You open your mouth to say something but the older woman beats you to it.

“I don't think I'm gonna make this round, sweetheart.”

You clench your jaw hearing her statement. “Don't say that.” You tell her firmly. “I thought you wanted to kick this cancer’s ass?”

The poor woman couldn't even manage a chuckle. “Don't all patients say that?” She asked. She looks past you and out the window. “I think it's my time. I can feel it.”

She then closed her eyes and gave you a grateful smile while reaching up to cup your cheek. “Thank you, [Name], for sticking by my side even when my own children didn't. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful doctor to take care of me.”

You held the hand that was on your cheek and gave the older woman a sad smile as if to say “I'm sorry for not doing enough”, yet she seemed to understand what your smile conveyed as she began to caress your cheek as a means to console you.

“Keep saving lives, Dr. [Last Name].”

The steady flat note of a heart rate monitor tells you that your patient has finally passed away.

Her hand that was on your cheek laid flaccid on your own. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky sigh. After a few minutes of sitting in silence with your deceased patient, you press the nurse’s call button. You then place her hand next to her on the bed. Shortly after several nurses come into the room and begin to console you while covering Miss Bradford’s body with the sheet. You watched them as they wheeled her out of the room.

She told you to keep saving lives and you plan on doing just fucking that.

—

It was dark out when you finally left the hospital after you said your last goodbyes to Miss Bradford. The temperature had dropped significantly causing a shiver to run down your spine and goosebumps form on your arms.

You're not going to lie. Even though she told you that she was ready and already accepted her death, you couldn't help but feel like you failed her; so you were feeling pretty depressed. Everybody was so determined to get her healthy again, to go back to a somewhat normal life again. But it was never that easy.

You passed several buildings as you continued home. Soon you were passing your current town's local park when you suddenly stopped, a sudden feeling of anxiety had come out of nowhere. It felt like there were eyes on you, watching your every move. Your face sets into a hard glare to try and look intimidating. You turn around in a circle trying to find any suspicious people, yet you only found yourself alone in the street which unsettled you even more.

A sudden rustling causes you to whip your head to the right. Your eyes immediately lock onto a bright pair of golden ones that look at you from the tree line. Neither one of you refused to blink or look away, seeing who would back down first.

Your eyes widen when the other set of eyes seem to just dissipate into thin air. After a few moments of trying to process what the hell just happened, you shake your head.

I must be going insane. You thought. When you turned around to continue home, your gaze caught sight of something on the sidewalk. On the sidewalk was what looked like gold flecks of dust hovering in front of you. Being the completely logical person you were, you tried to kick the dust away from you. However doing so only caused more gold flecks to appear and soon a trail of them started to manifest that led into the forest where you saw the pair of eyes. You looked at the trail bewildered. What the actual fuck is going on? You drop your head and let out a defeated sigh.

“Yeah, I'm over this.” You mumble out loud. You walk through the trail dead set on going home and sleeping for the entire day tomorrow. Now you weren't going to lie, yes you do get upset whenever one of your patients pass away, but normally not this upset because that was part of your job; it's bound to happen. But Miss Bradford’s death seemed to be taking a bigger toll on you than you thought.

However, as you tried to walk through the trail it forcefully turned your body to walk to the forest. Your eyes widen as your adrenaline spikes and your fight or flight kicks in as you start thrashing around, trying to release its invisible hold on you.

“Hey, wait! Stop!” You cry out. You whip your head in all directions, trying to look for someone to help you. “Help! Anyone, please!” Yet all you received was silence from the empty street. While the gold dust continued to push you toward, you still tried to fight against it though you quickly began to falter thanks to the mentally and physically taxing day you just went through.

As if it had sense you were giving up, the trail abruptly stopped pushing you. For a split second you thought about running off again but decided against it. You watched as the trail formed and led even deeper into the forest where the bushes and trees were so thick that not even the bright moon that was above could illuminate it. Your eyes flicker down to the trail before going back to the forest then back down to the trail. You grimace at the trail as if you were saying “do I really have to?” to it.

All of a sudden, your head whips up to the tree line as you hear music softly playing from it. From your limited musical knowledge, it sounded like it was a harp or some type of string instrument. You feel your muscles relax and your heart slows its frantic pace as the soft melody coursed around you, like a warm comforting blanket that had just come out of the dryer, and a sense of peace had washed over you.

The logical side of your brain was screaming at you to not listen to it. To not be a dumbass and see where it was coming from. To run away as fast as you could while screaming for help, yet you already knew that wasn't going to work. But the hypnotic song that the harp-like instrument was playing kicked that side of your brain to the curb as it lured you into the forest.

Your feet moved before you even realized it and soon you began to bush limbs away. After a few minutes of trying to follow where the music was coming from, it started to get louder and then light filtered through the trees. You quickened your pace and pushed away the last of the trees, but froze in your place as the music suddenly stopped and at what you walked upon.

In front of you was nothing but a vast and endless bright blue sky. From above where the sun continued to glow brightly but seemed to be twice the size of what it was before, to below you where you could see a single hint of land anywhere. Clouds rolled by thanks to the gentle breeze that blew past you and tall pillars were littered throughout the area, some were even floating!

You turn back to the forest behind you with a confused expression before looking back at the open sky. Wasn't it just night before? And why is this… oddly familiar? Where have I seen this before? You wondered.

You jumped nearly ten feet in the air when you heard a noise at your feet. You look down to see individual slabs of concrete form a bridge several feet out in front of you and the gold trail resumes onto the bridge.

You stare at the bridge processing what just occurred. You could practically hear the Jeopardy theme song playing in the background. You sharply inhale and your eyes widen when finally realized why this was all familiar.

Motherfucking Genshin Impact! I thought I recognized this loading screen!

You place a hesitant foot on the bridge, expecting it to crumble but it stood sturdy. You take another step, then another, and after four steps the bridge begins to form out again. You keep walking as the bridge does so. You do this for a few moments, giggling to yourself about what is actually transpiring.

“I really have gone insane.” You laughed. “Ah, and my future was so promising.”

A loud boom from below cuts you off from your self deprecating thoughts. What the hell? You get down on your knees and crawl over the edge of the bridge to see a huge black rip in the sky.

“Outlanders,” A voice boomed out. “your journey ends here.”

And out stepped the Unknown God.

Oh shit. You gasp quietly as your heart rate accelerates at the sight of her. She's hotter in person. You looked around for the twins and quickly spotted them on a platform just below the Unknown God.

“Who’re you?” The queen herself, Lumine, calls out.

“The sustainer of heavenly principles.” The Unknown God summons a black cube in her hand. “The arrogation of mankind ends here.” She then creates a cube below the twins, forcing them to jump out of the way. They spin in the air and summon their, much cooler than the ones in the game, wind gliders with swords in hand.

The Unknown God sends multiple horrifying trails of cubes after the twins, forcing them to fly and twirl out of the way of them while causing the whole sky to rumble somehow. Soon the twins fly towards the Unknown God and collide with her creating a huge explosion.

The explosion caused the bridge you were on to shake due to the force. You grabbed on tighter to the ledge in hopes of keeping your balance, but an aftershock made you slip off from the edge. You let out a terrified scream as you suddenly began to fall.

Your scream caught the trio's attention and made them look at you. The twin’s faces morph into a shocked and horrified expression as you fall while the Unknown God’s eyes narrow in recognition. “There you are.” And sent cubes after you, yet you are completely immune to what's happening around you thanks to the wind that was blowing in your ears.

Lumine quickly yelled to her brother. “Aether, catch her!” She diverted her attention back to the god. “I'll take care of this!”

Aether jumped into action and quickly flew to you. He willed his wind gliders to move faster than the cubes and was soon on you. He then flies underneath you and catches you bridal style. You let out a loud “oof” as you roughly collided with something and opened your eyes, which had subconsciously closed when you fell, to see Aether flying away with you in his arms and away from the cubes.

Aether looks down to your wind blown form. “Are you okay?” He asks gently. How you could hear him over the wind, you didn't know, but you could only stare at him in shock, not actually believing that he was real.

Taking in your silence as being in shock from the fall, he flies higher in the air and turns to the Unknown God to see his twin getting sucked into the god’s cubes.

“Lumine!” He cried out. He looked between you and his sister before ultimately throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes while keeping a firm hold on your thighs. He zooms to the god at high speeds which catches you off guard.

“What the fuck?!” You screech. You were starting to get a little motion sickness from all of the sudden movements.

Aether dips behind the god and swings his sword at her which causes an even larger explosion than before. You let out a scream at the loud sound. You could feel Aether’s chest rising and falling rapidly under your legs due to him panting. You hear him gasp and you turn over his head to see what was happening, though you already knew.

However, the sight of the smoke from the explosion coming back and encasing Aether’s hand was more terrifying in real life than it was in the game.

“Hold on!” He orders then quickly readjusted you so that he had a hold of your waist. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and cover your face in his shoulder, bracing for any sort of pain. Soon your vision started to turn black, but before it covered it entirely you heard Aether scream out to the Unknown God.

“Wait, don't go! Give my sister back!”

—

A/N: Kazuha is now officially the ninth member of the harem. Also, y'all... Inazuma? Lord help me I want to add Gorou and Thoma to the harem as well.

Side note, for all of the male characters that have a "young adult" physique like Aether, Kazuha, Xiao, etc. they're taller than they are in the game, from 5'6"-5'8" (Xiao still being the shortest) while those with an "adult" are anywhere from 5'10-6'2", because I said so lol.

[cdarkheartzero]

Diary of a Security Guard

For the always wonderful Rissy @rissynicole who I promised this to for being just...amazing.

Prequel found here-

https://cdarkheartzara.tumblr.com/post/622506786343288833

Data log entry 6555

Been watching Zim battle his PAK for a few (days) now. It has been SO mentally exhausting just to see, let alone experience. But that determination to get his PAK legs working. Imma be honest, it’s downright inspiring seeing him spaz, spark and struggle just to get back up n’ try it again once he catches his breath.

He even got Skoodge trying to activate his- few of the other smeets too, actually. I can’t tell whether he knows it or not (he’s pretty oblivious to the world around him so I doubt it), but he has a lot of fans among the youngins. They might find him annoying (cuz let’s be honest here, he is) but he has this unique…. charm(?) to him. Little bastard just doesn’t know when ta quit.

I can see the stress and strain of his struggles are starting to get to him though. He just hasn’t been himself lately. Physically Exhausted. Less destructive (again- lemme be honest- I AM ALL FOR but under normal circumstances). Hasn’t been doing much eating or sleeping. He’s just so fixated on this that it’s basically taken over his entire life. Can’t tell you how many times I have found him in the incubation room the past few shifts, tryin’ so damn hard to stand on his legs he basically passes out.

The smeets should be sleeping now. It’s pretty late and I see all the other guards settling into their seats relaxin’. Now’s the time to piss around, the break we all deserve. Alas, I can’t get that little shit outta my head. The pain on his face. The dedication and exhaustion in his eyes. It’s been burned into my organic brain ever since I had to stun him the first time. I don’t think I have ever been that scared before. I thought… I thought I could have killed him. That he wouldn’t be there the next morning. That this little ball of chaos would be erased from my life. And it was worse than anything I coulda imagined.

I wanna do something for him. I know I shouldn’t. ‘Specially after all the shit he puts me through. And I really shouldn’t play favoritisms but I dunno. There is just something about Zim.

Now, don’t get me wrong. He drives me crazy. He’s a little demon spawn. A selfish little piece of shit. More than once have I seen him sacrifice a playmate to make a quick escape or use poor Skoodge as a flesh shield. His bomb gifts haunt me very soul- I swear I hear them ticking in the walls relentlessly, taunting me. But he brings me such a calming ease. It’s so weird. Like… I wanna ring his neck sometimes but just having his little body in my arms brings me such warmth. His voice makes me want to slam my face against a wall but I honestly can’t fathom it not being there. I just want to be there for him. And do everything in my power to make him as happy as I can.

What did he do to me?

Ugh. I’m pulling my lekku out at my desk. Think, Zara. Think. There’s gotta be something I can do. I’m mindlessly fumbling through my clutter, still rackin’ my brain around what to do next. Suddenly, a sweet scent fills the air and I realize I opened my candy drawer.

Hmmmm…. it’s not much but it’s the thought that counts.

I look over to Kira and tell her imma need to take 5. “Candy break?” She asks, watching me sneak a few pieces away. “Something like that” I reply.

Walking down the hallway to the smeetery felt like an eternity. What do I say? How will he respond? Lord, what if he wakes the other smeets and I gotta clear out my whole snack stash to not upset the others? What if he cries? If his PAK spazes out again, what if I have to shock him again? What if I fail my mission? What will the control brains do to me? what if… what if I have to kill him? How would I live with myself if I...hurt my smeet? Shit. I gotta stop doing that. He’s not MY smeet. He belongs to Irk. I’m just a guardian, nothing more. But… I never want him to leave my side. But he also has a job to do! For Irk! I hope he never becomes an invader. Keep him here, where it’s safe. Maybe the science division or something… hmmmmm.”

“Uhhh…” I hear next to me, a random voice sounding concerned. It breaks my concentration and I see another guard, head slightly tilted, staring at me. “You good, man?”

Oh! Seems I have been standing at the door for some time. I laughed. “Yeah. Sorry. Just got a lot on my mind.”

“It’s cool” she smiled “just don’t let the higher ups catch you wandering around aimlessly.”

“I appreciate it. Thanks!” I said waving as she went about her way. “Higher ups?” Yeah. Not a whole lot of fear there. Nothing can be worse than what we’ve already experienced.

The door opened, inviting me to the darkness of the smeetery. Was it always so cold in here? The only light shines from a few wires and screens on the walls but other than that, it’s pretty pitch black. A totally different feel to the liveliness of the early shift when spirits are high and bodies are active. Luckily, our vision is enhanced in our tubes, far before we go online so nighttime is never an issue for us.

I creep over to the nesting area, where all the little bodies are snoozing (or snoring in Skoodge’s case) and see those ruby eyes staring at the ceiling. I notice his antenna perk and he looks my direction, instantly making a face of aggression.

“What?”

That the hell kinda greeting is that? Little rude shit. I wanna smack him outside his little skull but I take a deep breath and calmly whisper. “Ain’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I’m your guard. It IS my business. Why ain’t you asleep?”

“I’m not tired.”

“Something bothering you?”

“No.”

I can see it written all over his face in glow in the dark paint. “Ah-ha. You really are a bad liar. Is it cuz your legs?”

“NO.” He turned to face away from me.

“Hey. Listen: you’re going to get it. I know you will.”

“But how come Tak could so easily? All mine do is attack me.”

“Just because she got it faster than you, that doesn’t make her better than you.”

“Zim never claimed it did.”

He’s hurt. His words and his feelings are battling against each other. Tak being able to activate her PAK legs without any difficulties was eating him alive but he would never admit it.

“Listen… Zim. It’s going to get easier. You just gotta keep at it. Small steps get you far in life.”

He shrugged, sitting up, curling into himself. “Zim wonders about that sometimes. Maybe… he isn’t meant to get it.”

There it is. “Of course you are.” I said, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. “I believe in you. You are going to find a way. You never give up. I don’t think you know how.”

He looked my way, eyes wide and glassy. SHIT. Imma make him cry!? I didn’t mean to!

“You… you do?”

Huh?

“Of course I believe in you, dummy. And I will be here every step of the way. I got you.” I said, grazing my thumb across his cheek. A smile took the place of that awful frown and his eyes lit. “Here. I got you a little something, but only if you try to get some sleep. You got a long day of training with your PAK and you need all the rest you can get. Oh, and don’t let anyone know I did this.” I said putting my finger to my lips.

I reached into a belt pocket and grabbed a wrapped hard candy. With two fingers I held it in front of him, he looked at it inquisitively. His grubby little hands reached for it and I let him grab it. He stared at it, slowly unwrapping it and Then glanced back at me. I guess he didn’t trust it.

“It’s not drugged or nuthin’. Just some sweets.”

Again, he stared at me.

“What?”

“Your accent is really weird.”

“Just eat the damn candy and shut up” I said, pushing the sweet into his mouth. He just huffed but suckled on.

“Now DON'T cause anymore problems and get some shut eye. I will see you bright n’ early.”

He just puffed his cheeks and rolled over. Think I handled that well. And maybe, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him.

Smiled and waved on my way out. Dunno if he saw me but it doesn’t hurt. Walked into the hallway, into dread. Leaned against the wall and slid down.

Us E.L.I.T.E.S can’t disobey orders from the Control brains but… I pray with everything I have in me that things stay like this forever. Cuz’ if i ever had my mission changed or if I had to hurt him… idunno what I would do.

Zara out

[naivesilver]

I swear it took me Libby to notice it was a prompt (so dumb, so sorry Sere). Mind if I play too with the one-word-prompt? I was thinking áoyè or aswium. Eheheh curious to see what you’ll conjure dearest writer ;) Lots and lots of hugs♥️ Jojo

TO BE FAIR it's a very ambiguous post so I wouldn't worry too much about not noticing outright 💞 and thank you, I will do my best or worst, depending on your point of view

One Word Prompts

aswium // 아쉬움 (korean, n.) - the mingled feeling of disappointment, frustration, and regret that results from an unsatisfactory situation

(Sssssh don't @ me I'm still hyperfixating on my own AU okay I'm not hurting anybody)

Thankfully, some of the tension in Emma's body unwinds the moment she steps into her parents' house.

She doesn't often take advantage of the spare key they've given her, and it's not as if their place were always a safe haven, either, but there are times where she'd rather put up with some fussing than be alone, and tonight feels like one of those nights. It's unbearably hot outside, courtesy of a summer that is turning the entire town into a tropical greenhouse, but her parents' living room is invitingly cool, and she allows herself a small sigh of relief as the AC works its magic on her.

Her father coming to greet her is a welcome sight, too, and he kisses her on the cheek with a small smile. "Hey there."

"Hey. Where's mom?"

"She'll be home in a bit." He scrutinizes her intently, his expression faltering. "Long day?"

"You could say that." Emma rubs a hand down her face, exhaling deeply. "I had to put my hands on an old man with a taste for little girls. Not exactly the most pleasant of activities."

The look in her father's eyes softens, and he wraps his arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently. "You alright?"

She nods, leaning into his embrace. It's hard, sometimes, to look at his unlined face and remember who he is, but at least he’s got a good hand at comforting others. "I'll be after I've taken a shower. I know we've been in some nasty places, but guys like these always manage to make me feel worse."

"Who called you?"

"One of his old victims. A friend of Pinocchio - he brought her to the station, and then I called some of the names she's mentioned, found a couple witnesses for her story. He won't be going anywhere near a child anytime soon."

"Tough kid, that one."

"Yeah. Without her, I wouldn't even have known he was in town. Or that he'd done anything, for that matter. "

She doesn't sound half as enthusiastic as she's trying to be, and David frowns, inclining his head to better look at her. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy you got him before it was too late."

"I am. But..."

"But?"

Emma sighs again, shaking her head. "I just heard a new piece of the story. This guy, someone had a go at his car. Slashed tires, all the usual stuff. I think they smeared it with something filthy, too, I don't know. A total wreck."

"And? Must have been someone who heard what he'd been doing. I know I shouldn’t approve of taking matters in one's own hands, but he definitely had it coming."

"It happened before his name came out. And from what I could gather, there's no one around who could remember who he was before. No friends, no family - no enemies, either, from the looks of it. He's a nobody, or at least he was until yesterday."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. So either he did it himself, to get insurance money, or-"

"Or the girl a hand in it."

"Her, or Pinocchio and the rest of her little friends." She massages the bridge of her nose, feeling some of the stress start to creep back in. "I've seen too much of them for my liking, and let me tell you, you'd have a hard time getting them one at a time. Hell, you'd think they come in packs, from the way they go around. I think they roped in Hank Zimmer's twins too - from what I heard, he didn’t so much as tow that car away when he got called in. It’s probably still right where they left it."

"A team effort, eh? Resourceful kids, aren't they?"

“Yeah. Very good at dragging me into their messes, they are. Now I don’t know if I should congratulate them or give them a lecture.”

David hums thoughtfully, rubbing her arm with the pad of his thumb. “Have you tried asking them who did it?”

Emma scoffs, the corner of her lips curling upwards despite her efforts to conceal it. “Pinocchio’ll take the blame for world hunger before he accuses his friends of anything, and that girl, Twinkle - she’s just been through a lot, I’m not going to interrogate her about something as stupid as this. And even if it was one of the others, how can I keep a straight face while asking those questions? I can’t blame them for pulling a stunt like that. It’s just...The sheriff’s not supposed to say it aloud, is she?”

“You’re fond of those kids.”

It’s not a question. It’s an affirmation, and a fundamentally correct one, too, to her dismay. Most of those boys and girls don’t nearly get in trouble enough for her to see them too often - save for Lampwick, but Lampwick’s the exception rather than the rule, as per usual - but sometimes she feels as though they were as stable a fixture in town as people like Granny or Archie, running around and wrecking havoc and showing up at the worst possible time with mischievous grins on their angelic little faces.

She likes them, that’s the problem at hand. She likes them and she respects them, for being brave enough to expose themselves like that. She doubts she’d have had the same gall, at their age, and she was hardly a quiet, unobtrusive girl herself, as her mother would probably attest to.

“Yeah,” she says, finally. “Yeah, I am. I just wish their best calls weren’t always acts of vandalism.”

Her father chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Well, you don’t have to trouble yourself about it just yet. Nobody’s asking you to bring those kids to task, and that man’s locked away now. I doubt he’ll be going around filing reports if he’s not done it yet, and from what you’re saying he’s got no one on his side to do it for him, and even if it happens, you’ll cross that bridge when you get there. And I’ll make sure to buy them all a round of beer myself, once they’re old enough to drink, so you won’t have to get your hands dirty.”

He lets go of her, then, only to link his arm in hers and lead her towards the kitchen.

“Now, let’s get you something to drink. You look like you need it, and I’d hate for your mother to see you with that long face when she gets home.”

[savoies]

Miscommunications - Nolan Patrick.

Nolan Patrick x Reader.

Summary: Nolan is feeling a little insecure and he starts to ignore his girlfriend but then they talk it out and it turns out to be just a miscommunication.

Word count : 1143 ( wow im proud) 

Warning: like one bad word.

Nolan was currently on the road to Colorado. The Philadelphia Flyers were going to play against the Colorado Avalanche in about two days. Y/n was currently at home in Philly texting Nolan to text her when he got to Colorado. Y/n and Nolan had been dating for about a year and while y/n was more emotional and Nolan keeped his feelings bottled in, they made it work. She decided just to work on some homework and then go to bed afterwards since it was pretty late when Nolan left for his long road trip of a day.

Nolan had arrived in Colorado a few hours ago and was currently practicing making some goals into the net with Hartsy blocking most of them. Nolan had been off of his game and Tk noticed but didn't mention anything because his best friend wasn't one to talk about his feelings. The game was starting in thirty minutes and warm ups had started. Y/n was back home wearing his number 19 jersey getting prepared for the game to start. She knew Nolan had arrived safely because Tk usually posted stories of the arena they were going to play at. She just decided to send him a good luck text since he didn't text her earlier of his arrival but she didn't want to seem like a mom.

The game ended as the waves of orange were seen through the crowd jumping up and down. The flyers had won against the avalanche and they were pretty damn proud. Nolan walked into the locker room to get changed and when he saw that he had a new text from his girlfriend. He left it on read as he did the other one he received upon his arrival. It wasn't that he was trying to ignore her; he just sometimes got these thoughts into his mind that he wasn't good enough for her. I mean she had a bachelors degree, was studying to get her masters, and she was the most determined person he had ever met. He was just a hockey player. He knew that if he ever got a serious injury his entire career would end. But y/n had her whole life in front of her. Before more of these thoughts could enter his mind Travis walked in and told him they were gonna go out for celebratory drinks. He thought that maybe a couple of those would blur his mind and he would forget about these thoughts. So he got dressed and headed out with the rest of his team mates. 

Y/n watched as the flyers won and jumped up and down as Kevin Hayes made the winning goal. She texted her boyfriend: congrats you did amazing and then call me when you can. Y/n saw the guys stories and saw they went out to get some drinks. She waited about thirty minutes but didn't get a response from her boyfriend. She decided to stop because she didn't want to seem clingy and she decided calling Teeks was a better option. The phone rang about four times when the caller on the other end finally picked up. “Hey Y/n whats up.”

“Hey Tk just calling to congratulate you guys on the win and wondering if I can talk to nols.” the girl said hopeful yet a bit nervous cause it seemed as though her boyfriend was ignoring her. There was shuffling on tks side of the line and then she could hear him shouting “hey pat your girl wants to talk to you.”

“Tell her I'm busy” the 21 year old centerman yelled back. In that moment y/n got enough classification and her heart broke a little. “Hey y/n he’s--...”

“I heard teeks thanks.” the girl said, trying not to cry. She decided to just watch netflix and eat some ice cream cause now it for sure seemed as though her boyfriend was ignoring her. 

“Stop being such a jerk and talk to your girlfriend.” Travis said.

“Don't you think ive tried,” Nolan said, looking down at his shoes avoiding his friend's eye contact. “She's great but she's too good for me. I'm just a hockey player. She could leave me any moment.”

Travis listened to his best friend's sincere confession and thought about how y/n was seriously in love with him and she thought the opposite of everything he had just said. “Pat, i've seen the way that girl looks at you and she's totally whipped and I can say the same for you.” Nolan loved his girlfriend and it seemed like he just needed a slight push from his best friend to realize that they had their differences but they were totally and hopelessly in love.

He decided to step out for some air and call her and tell her how he really felt. Y/n was sitting on the couch when her phone started ringing. Her boyfriend's name flashed across the screen as she completed picking up. She decided to ignore how she was hurting and instead answered it cause deep down she could never be mad at her big goofball of a boyfriend. There was silence for a few minutes as the static was heard on both sides of the line. Then finally Nolan spoke up with a simple hey.

“Hey bub.” y/n said back. It felt good to hear his voice. 

“Uhm wow ive been such a dick to you and i'm sorry, it's just sometimes i wonder why you're with me--..”

“Nol--..”

“Wait y/n let me finish, cause you know how hard this is for me.” The girl let him continue. “Sometimes it seems as though you are too good for this world and way too good for me and Tk made me realize that I should stop bottling up my feelings and talk to you about them. Communication is a big part of relationships and that's what I'm doing right now. I love you and I'm sorry sometimes I'm not good enough.” Nolan said exasperated at the end of his emotional speech.

There was silence for a few moments while y/n was trying hard not to cry. “Baby are you there?” 

“Yeah sorry bubs, Nols if you ever feel this way please tell me. I love you so much and you are seriously perfect for me. I understand communicating is hard for you but you know i'm always here to listen. You are always good enough and beyond that. I'm glad Travis made you talk about it. God, I love you so much Nolan Patrick.”

By the end of her speech they were both trying not to cry. “I love you lovebug. I'll call you later when i get to the hotel.”

“I'll be waiting.” y/n said glad that all this was just a miscommunication.

Tags so it doesn't flop: @marner-lovebot @hockey-anyone @mitch-slap @mymanseguin @leafsxhockeywrxtes @summerko8

[milomeepit]

Kiss Me- Moxiety (Highschool AU)

Word Count: 2.3k

Ships: Logince, Moxiety, Decani

Content Warnings: Minor blood/injury, violence mention, sex jokes, homophobic classmates

AN: Should I be working on my Big Bang? Yes. Should I be doing homework? Also yes. But I had the idea and it refused to wait 😂 Also, I'm on mobile so 1) no taglist but I'll reblog it later if I remember, and 2) I think I did the read more correctly but if it didn't I'd like to make a formal apology to everyone who gets this spaghetti mess of a oneshot on their dash

Virgil was somewhat used to the feeling that he couldn't breathe. Be it from panic, anger, or other overwhelming emotions, it was a familiar sensation; his lungs squeezed so tight it felt as if his chest would collapse in on itself. But nothing caused such a sweet ache as Patton.

(Kiss me out of the bearded barley

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

You'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress)

It had been Roman's idea, to begin with. The asshole. He'd teased Virgil endlessly about his flushed cheeks and soft smiles, directed entirely at Roman's best friend. Virgil had vehemently denied all accusations of love, of course.

"Come on, Danger Drone, you can't lie to me!" Roman teased Virgil from his position sprawled across his bed. "You've got it baaad."

Virgil shot a glare at his brother before returning his attention to his laptop. "No way," He scoffed, shifting on his own bed, tucking a small stuffed cat beside the pillow so it wouldn't be squished by his squirming.

Roman rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out before starting to sing, "Who ya think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and he-" He was cut off by a pillow smacking into his face.

Virgil snapped his laptop lid shut and hopped off of his bed, stalking over to Roman and crossing his arms. "I. Do not. Have a thing. For your dorky friend." He hissed.

"You know, you could really take some acting tips from Dad and me," Roman flashed him a toothy grin as he sat up, sitting nose to nose with Virgil.

Virgil scowled. "You're seriously cruising for a bruising, you know that, right?"

"As if. Logan would kick your ass," Roman winked. "He may be your best friend, but he's my boyfriend."

"As if. He'd be too busy lecturing you on provoking violence. And then you two disasters would probably start bickering and end up making out on the kitchen table again."

"Hey, that was one time!"

[[MORE]]

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

As much as Virgil hated to admit it, Roman was right. He was head over heels for Patton. Who wouldn't be? 

He had such a pleasant way of speaking. Sweet, warm, but not superficial. He was always trying to look after other people, be it upset little kids from the elementary school next door, students freaking out over exams and friendships, teachers carrying things to their car, or lost and distressed animals.

He knew that Patton wasn't always the super sweet, happy, helpful person he seemed. Nobody could be, they wouldn't be human. But Virgil found himself wondering what it would be like to comfort Patton, help him with the little things he was always helping others with. The bubbly boy was always so busy with everyone else, Virgil sometimes worried that he didn't look after himself.

On the plus side, he thought as he trudged to school one morning, Roman was good with that kind of thing. He would nag Virgil to eat, to have his meds, to go to bed if it was too late. It was annoying at times, but he appreciated it. Roman was protective of those he cared about.

Which meant he really should have seen this sort of thing coming.

(Kiss me down by the broken tree house

Swing me, upon its hanging tire

Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat

We'll take the trail marked on your father's map)

"What the fuck happened?!" Virgil gaped at the blood smeared across Logan's face, leaking from beneath the crimson-stained tissues he held to his nose.

"Oh, you know. Charming small town high schoolers," Logan sighed, his voice muffled and nasal, as he gestured to the pencil skirt he was wearing. 

He was in Roman's lap on the cot in the nurses office. Patton was already with them, sitting in a chair he had dragged from across the room, his hands fluttering anxiously as he cleaned up blood from Logan's shirt.

Roman was quiet, his arms wrapped around Logan's waist. "I'm going to beat them into the dirt," He muttered, his eyes glowing with anger.

"That's not necessary, Roman, honestly. I'll just stop wearing feminine clothing to school, it's obvious that was the catalyst here." Logan shook his head.

Virgil perched on the cot next to them. "You shouldn't have to, though. It's hardly your fault that they're a bunch of close-minded assholes."

"Close-minded assholes who should know better than to bully my beloved," Roman growled. 

Virgil glanced at him, noticing his tense shoulders and clenched fists. "Ro, you can't fight everybody who hurts us," He cautioned. "Jock or not, you've got limits like everyone else."

"Well, it isn't like they're going to stop." Logan twisted to face Virgil. "Let's face facts; they'll get in trouble, detention or suspension at worst, and then they'll go right back to it."

Patton pouted. "I wish there was something we could do, though."

The four were silent for a few seconds before Roman lifted his head. "You know," He said slowly, his eyes lighting up, "I might just have an idea of what we could do."

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil fiddled with his seatbelt nervously in the backseat of the car. "Are you sure about this?" He asked Roman.

Roman didn't respond for a moment, squinting into a compact mirror as streetlights flashed past, illuminating the interior of the car with yellow light. He snapped it shut, apparently satisfied, and turned to Virgil. "Of course! I'd love to see them try to come after us after tonight."

"You two look great," Pops chirped from the front seat, turning to look at them. His glasses obscured his face in the dim car, but Virgil could make out his wide grin. "You're really gonna knock 'em dead tonight!"

"And if by chance any of these bullies don't make it through the night, I have bleach and a shovel in the garage," Dad added with a smirk, throwing a glance over his shoulder before returning his attention to the road.

Pops smacked his arm lightly. "Dee! You can't fight fire with fire like that!" He chided. "Don't encourage them to murder people."

Dad laughed and winked at Pops. "Oh, lighten up, Em. I'm just kidding."

Pops let out an unconvinced hum before turning back to the boys. "Do you guys have everything you need? Phones, water bottles, snacks?"

"Condoms?" Dad added, earning him another smack. "Hey!" He complained jokingly. "I'm just making sure they stay safe."

"The school is catering for the dance, it's fine, Pops," Virgil laughed. "And we're probably gonna grab dinner on the way home, anyway."

"Alright, alright," Pops smiled, turning back around in his seat. "Make sure you guys stay safe tonight, okay? And if anything happens, call us."

"Yes, Pops," They responded in unison, sharing a fond eyeroll.

(Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when they walked into the dance. Roman was obviously going to get a lot of attention in the long, hip-hugging, vibrant red dress he had picked out. The lacy bottom of the skirt swirled around him as he casually strutted into the room, white heels clicking against the wooden floor. He wondered suddenly if he should have worn heels.

"Roman! Virgil!" He turned to see Patton and Logan, already posted up by the snacks table, Patton waving wildly at them. As they approached, Logan handed them each a cup of soda with a nod.

"You guys look amazing!" Patton gushed, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he looked back and forth between the two brothers. "You look really nice in purple, Virge, you should wear it more!"

Virgil felt a blush creeping up his neck as he took a swig of soda. "Uh, thanks," He responded. He hadn't been sure about the floaty violet skirt and silver, off the shoulder bodice when Roman had thrust it at him in the store, but he had to admit it was growing on him. Especially if Patton liked it.

He took a moment to look Patton up and down. Something about the shimmering, wide blue skirt and butterflies dotted across the neckline seemed familiar, but it was hard to focus on when Patton was smiling sweetly up at him, his sparkling blue eyes framed with delicate eyeliner and his cheeks dusted with shimmery highlighter.

"Your dad's really outdone himself with this one!" Roman exclaimed. "Cinderella, right? It looks gorgeous!"

Patton giggled and did a little twirl, the skirt swishing around him as he moved. "Yeah! He's been working on it for a while to sell as a costume piece, but when I told him about the dance, he said I could have it!"

Virgil grinned. Patton's dad was an odd one- a chaotic cryptid with all the self control of a hyperactive monkey- but he certainly knew how to hit an aesthetic. 

Logan reached out to Roman, standing up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "You guys really didn't have to do this, you know," He smiled gently.

"What? And have the world miss out on this view?" Roman spun, the flared base of his skirt brushing against Virgil's ankles, and struck a pose, his hand on his hip.

Logan chuckled. "I suppose you're right. It would be a shame."

"Nothing compared to the potential tragedy of not being able to see you all dressed up," Roman winked, tipping up Logan's chin and pecking him on the lips.

Logan blushed faintly, his hands moving to smooth out his dark blue skirt, the star-like silver dots speckled down the fabric catching the light as he moved. "Thank you."

"Shall we?" Roman offered his arm. 

"This is a dance, after all," Logan slipped his hand into the crook of Roman's arm, and the pair disappeared into the crowd.

(So kiss me)

Virgil leaned back against the wall, swirling his soda idly as he watched couples twirl past, dresses and suits and jewelry shining in the coloured lights.

Parties were... so not his scene, but he supposed it was worth it, between the surprised looks from the brats who'd beaten up Logan, Roman and Logan clearly enjoying themselves on the dance floor, and-

"Heya!" He jumped, turning to see Patton appear next to him. "Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to spook ya," He giggled, and Virgil's heart thudded in his chest.

"It's all good," Virgil responded. "So, uh... I kinda figured you'd be off dancing with your friends. Harley and Brian and all that."

Patton shrugged. "They all paired off for the dance," He explained. "It's okay, though! That means I can hang out with you!"

"Oh," Virgil said dumbly. "Uh, do you... do you wanna dance with me?"

Patton looked up at him with a wide smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

(So kiss me)

He was dreaming. There was no other explanation for this. Patton's arms looped around his neck, chatting happily to Virgil as a slow dance played over the speakers. Dreaming or dead, he repeated as he shifted his hands on Patton's waist.

Roman caught his eye from across the room and winked. Virgil fought the urge to flip him off as Logan laughed.

So what if he liked Patton? It wasn't like this meant anything. They were just dancing together as friends, and that was fine. Virgil would enjoy it while it lasted, and that would be that.

".. rgil? Virgil, are you okay?" He blinked and looked back down to Patton to see a concerned frown on the other boy's face. "You look like you're a million miles away, buddy."

"Oh, uh... just thinking. Don't worry," Virgil blushed. "I'm okay."

"I'd hope so. If I upset you, Roman might revoke his approval," Patton giggled.

"Wait. Approval?" Virgil paused, staring down at Patton in surprise.

Patton blinked, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Well, ah, I thought you- and he said he... is this not a double date?"

Virgil shot a glare at Roman, who flashed him a sweet smile and twirled away gracefully, vanishing into the crowd with Logan once more. "First I've heard of it," He told Patton.

Patton recoiled and took a step back, his face red. "Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Virge, I- you don't have to-"

Virgil pulled him close again, his own face blazing hot. "I don't- I don't mind," He stammered. "Dancing with you. Or the, the date part."

Patton reached up and, after a moment's hesitation, put his arm around Virgil's neck again. "So... this is okay?"

"Y-yeah," Virgil confirmed. "More than okay."

Their faces were inched apart like this, and Virgil felt his breath catch in his throat as Patton bit his lip, his eyes darting down to his mouth. "Can... can I-"

Virgil didn't wait for him to finish the question before he leaned forward, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. It tasted like caramel lipgloss and cheap soda and cheese puffs and Virgil swore he was fucking floating.

When they broke apart again, Patton's eyes were shining in the pink-yellow-blue-green lights swinging over the dance floor. "Wow," He said, sounding almost as breathless as Virgil felt, and rested his head against Virgil's shoulder.

As they spun across the dance floor, the tulle of Patton's skirt flaring around them, Virgil decided maybe parties weren't so bad after all, as long as he got to bring Patton with him.

... Roman was still dead meat when they got home, though.

(So kiss me)

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

I Am Not Living, I Am Surviving Hug Me Michael x Reader

Warnings: this theme deals with depression and thoughts of suicide which could be triggering for some.

A/N: as someone that deals with depression I felt compelled to post this. Michael helps Y/N during her depressive episode, the reader (much like me tends to shut people out especially when things get difficult so I feel this on a personal level). Hope you guys take the time to read this as it is kinda personal for me, thanks guys and please let me know what you think. Note the lyrics used are from Britta Phillips version of the song Drive

//who's gonna tell you when

it's too late

who's gonna tell you things

aren't so great

you can't go on

thinking nothing's wrong

who's gonna drive you home tonight//

I was not alone, that there was someone somewhere who was able to articulate the seething, jumbled, brutal, pre-linguistic, thrashing, writhing, hazing, dulling pounding in my head. It wasn't just me. That single thought was the most important thing in the world to me, sometimes the one thing that kept me alive – a single false note of optimism would have shattered it all for me, left me thinking yes, it really is just me – the words people offer me really are just that, words, the hope they contain utterly irrelevant because they relate to an experience that is not mine.

‘I put on a brave front' it had been so easy to hide how I truly felt, laugh, joke act like I was completely fine. But truth was I knew deep down inside I wasn't masking it would only work for so long. I was rapidly sliding deeper and deeper into a very dark space. My symptoms got worse and soon I found it too difficult to even get up and out of bed in the morning.

‘You feel nothing. You shut down completely. There is no happiness, no sadness, nothing. You feel zero.’ Depression is not something that can be brushed away with a smile, or shooed away with a pat on the back. It’s something more deeper and profound. There’s no gadget to test which person is suffering from what type of depression, and there’s no instrument to measure the extent of depression.

Statistics say that as many as 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. That means you know someone—probably several someones—with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder or something else. Isolation can have a crushing effect on a lot of people. Some people thrive on it, but humans on the whole are a social bunch and need to interact with others. When that isn’t possible, it’s easy to feel that the walls are closing in. But honestly all I was good at doing is pushing people away, I am afraid if they get to close if they see really see what I am going through that they might abandon me because it may end up being way too much for them.

I kept a diary somehow it felt safer to write down my thoughts, the one person I should be honest with is Michael but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. Would he be hurt? Would he hate me? So many thoughts in the back of my mind I pushed them away. I scribbled furiously in the journal and tossing it aside. Normally I hid it under a loose floorboard in our bedroom but on this night not giving it so much as a second thought I feel asleep journal wide open. Y/N didn't hear Michael when he walked in, he looked at you you were fast asleep. He noticed the leather bound book that laid open by your sleeping form. He didn't want to invade your privacy but something alerted him that something was on deed wrong. He looked at the small paragraph scrawled on the page, his face froze in fear at the words before him.

Dear Michael.

I've been thinking about ending my life. I don't know why I can't talk to you in person, so I bought this Diary in the case that I do end up killing myself you will know why I did what I did and that you cannot blame yourself. Michael you are the reason I am still here. for now. But the voices in my head are so strong and the pain that it is inflicting on me everyday, one more thing and I feel like I won't be able to hold on, but I will for you Michael  I will try my best for you.

Yours Truly,

Y/F/N Y/L/N

Depression is a hole and I'm slowly falling in trying to claw out and everyone I love is just standing there watching. Honestly I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep 'acting’ like I was ok when deep down inside I wanted to end it, quiet the voices leave the pain behind that quite frankly I felt like I was drowning in.

I opened my eyes I don't know how long I had been asleep or even what time it was. I looked to see Michael's concerned expression his piercing blue eyes felt like they had penetrated my soul. There my journal sat in his lap, Michael let out a breath attempting to steady himself. “Why won't you talk to me Y/N, tell me that something was wrong?” I couldn't even open up my mouth to speak it was like I lost all nerve to even respond. My first instinct was to bolt, I sat up quickly turning my body away from him. I wasn't able to even make it to the edge of the bed, Michael grabbed my arm “Y/N please talk to me don't shut me out!”

Michael's breathing started to get heavier as his eyes started to well up. Y/N  looked at Michael, saying nothing. He wondered what she was thinking. Finally, after a few moments, she started sobbing, and she leaned into him. Michael immediately pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, and struggling not to cry himself. ‘I was tired of feeling helpless. I had to do something, anything.’ ‘I remember that exact moment as the one where I started to feel good about myself again, I just wish it could've lasted longer…

There was another moment of silence, this one longer than the last, "I tried to tell myself that you'd get better, that you would get back to normal  but the truth is I didn't know that. I didn't know if you'd get better, you can't keep doing this to yourself Y/N, what if I never see you again! And the thought of everyone else just going on with their lives made me sick! So yeah,I am angry, and I am scared…  I didn't know what the fuck I am supposed to do!" Michael's voice finally broke as tears streamed down his face. Y/N, with tears in her own eyes, finally stood up. She pressed her forehead against Michael's and placed her hands on the sides of his head. ‘But most of all, I knew, come what may, I had at least one safe harbor.’ I looked up at Michael the look was unmistakable.

‘I'll never forget what I saw at that moment, looking into Michael's eyes.’

‘He loved me. This sweet, perfect man… loved me.’

After staring at him for another moment that seemed to last forever, she finally leaned in and kissed him. He quickly began kissing her back. The two of them continued this until it started to grow more heated, with the two of them running their hands over each other, and Michael kissing along the side of her neck.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.

"Are you… are you sure this is okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Y/N gave Michael a smile.

"I'm sure," I  said.

‘That wasn't entirely true. I wasn't sure, or rather I wasn't sure if I was sure.but I didn't know if that made a difference. I knew I wanted it to be okay this time.’

The two of them resumed, even more passionately this time. They began removing clothes and letting their hands roam over more of more of each other…

‘More than anything, I wanted it to be okay this time. I remember thinking, please, please, let it be okay this time.’

Michael continued kissing Y/N, who leaned her head back as the feelings came over her…

‘But it wasn't okay’

I inhaled sharply…

‘It was perfect.’

2 weeks later…

"How is Y/N?" Gallant ask, suddenly looking at Michael with concern on his  face.

Michael hesitated. He  came here to help Gallant with an issue with his salon , not unload his  own worries onto him. Still, lying to him didn't feel right either.

"I don't know, really," Michael  finally said. "She just doesn't seem to want to open up. I know she's been having a really hard time." Michael gave Gallant  a slight smile. “I think it's just going to take time.” Gallant responded softly.

‘The day were getting... bearable.’

‘So were the days after that, and the next after that.’

‘Michael found me a new doctor. A bit further away, but worth the trip. I was able to open up to her a little.’

‘Still, I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something I was supposed to do, but at first, I couldn't figure out what it was.’

‘But gradually I started to notice something…’

‘...something I couldn't shake once I noticed them.,

‘The signs.’

‘The ones most people didn't see. The ones no one saw in me until it was almost too late.’

Michael  wiped one last tear rolling down his face and closed his eyes.

“Please live for me Y/N," he said, softly. “Stay with me, I love you."

Y/N sighed in relief.

‘All I could do after that was live.’

Michael pulled me close to him tightly I could hear his heartbeat, a steady reminder to live

//Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.//

Mahatma Gandhi

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you're gonna have to go without me & my pom poms 💔💔 Janis: what, why? Jimmy: got detention Jimmy: & I've already checked the windows, like Jimmy: no escape Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Un🍀 babe Janis: leave you alone for five minutes Janis: what you do this time then? Jimmy: I didn't even do nowt Jimmy: barely said a word to this dickhead in tech who was proper giving it to me 🙄 Jimmy: should've just smacked him if I was ending up here anyway Janis: ugh Janis: bet he ain't going detention with you either Janis: teachers are cunts Jimmy: nah they didn't even hand him one out Jimmy: like fuck am I just gonna let him chat shit about us for the full lesson Jimmy: but now Janis: it's alright Janis: mean, obvious waste of your time Jimmy: I'm gonna knock him out when I next see him Janis: fair enough, I'd say Janis: I'll watch 👍 Jimmy: front row seat to make up for the one I'm missing, yeah Jimmy: you're still gonna win for me though Janis: 'course I am Janis: can't make promises for the rest of the team, though sure they'll try their best for you 😍 Janis: other School is pretty shit tbh so Jimmy: 👍 'cause I'm still taking for drinks later too Jimmy: & I'd rather you not have to drown your sorrows, pisshead Jimmy: sort them other girls out & make 🥇 happen, babe Janis: 💪 nothing but victory drinks, swear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 💕 Janis: stay alive Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: got my phone back Janis: you seen it then Jimmy: been @ed by half the school Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah, been reporting the comments but it don't do shit, especially when it ain't even my post so Janis: are you Jimmy: don't worry, he's gonna take it down Janis: nothing even happened Janis: I swear Janis: he's just pissed off 'cos I said it ain't gonna again Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: it's about what's happening next Jimmy: & I'm sorting that right now Janis: it matters to me that you hear the truth from me and believe it Janis: 'cos what he's saying, and everyone else now, is bullshit Jimmy: I know that he's the lad that gave you a lift & you didn't fuck him so Jimmy: whatever happened before ain't my business Jimmy: & nowt happened today either whatever he says Janis: it really didn't Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: 'course you wouldn't Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: it's not but Jimmy: I'm just saying I believe you Janis: Thank fuck Janis: I felt like I was going to vom Janis: I know Mia talked to you, she took great delight in letting me know Jimmy: Less chat more shoving screenshots of his snaps at me Jimmy: so likewise Janis: he's just a prick Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: & she's just having fun pretending that you & him have been fucking behind my back this whole time Jimmy: didn't bother telling her I've been there & I'd know, not very #goals Janis: I'm sorry Janis: this bullshit Janis: they wouldn't do it to you if you weren't with me Jimmy: why, you ain't done nowt Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I wanna be Jimmy: they can't do shit to change it Janis: I like you too much to put you through this shit Janis: it's so Janis: stupid Jimmy: you ain't the one being stupid Jimmy: or putting me through it Janis: yeah but Janis: I don't know Janis: just hate it Janis: them Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but he'll be one less dickhead to worry about in a sec Jimmy: I promise Janis: what you mean Janis: he's not going to delete it Janis: already asked Jimmy: yeah he is Jimmy: I'm not asking Jimmy: I'm just about to make him Janis: where are you Jimmy: If I let you know that you'll show up Jimmy: it's better if you don't, alright Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm not gonna stop you but don't do anything stupid on my account alright Jimmy: I ain't the one who's being stupid either Jimmy: It's okay Jimmy: not my first time knocking out this exact type of dickhead Jimmy: like I said, my ex actually was fucking around on me so Janis: that's shit Jimmy: it weren't any more fun for her Jimmy: not really Jimmy: she was messed up, is still probably Janis: still Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: that's not this Janis: I know but everyone else is convinced so may as well be Jimmy: Nah, I ain't so it's not even close Jimmy: only thing similar is lads chatted shit on her too, never did find out how many she really got with out of the loads who said Janis: anything to boost their own rep Jimmy: it was the ones who weren't saying owt that I had to properly watch Jimmy: they just did it & left me to walk in Jimmy: literally in some cases Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he's here Janis: don't get hurt okay Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: leave that for him Janis: obviously Janis: I don't give a fuck about him though Jimmy: makes two of us Jimmy: [a fight later] Jimmy: post's gone Janis: will you tell me where you are now Jimmy: tell me where you are & I'll come meet you Jimmy: not gonna hang round the scene of the crime, am I? Janis: I'm at my nan and granddad's Janis: could hardly go out and about town and fuck being home when she's gonna be there Janis: take this bus [#] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be there as soon as Janis: don't worry, neither of 'em is in rn Jimmy: I weren't but Jimmy: alright Janis: just mean, not gonna make you talk to my entire fam Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: I don't care who I've gotta talk to right now Jimmy: I just wanna see you Janis: they don't live as middle of nowhere Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: I know Janis: not to be that bitch but you didn't answer my question Jimmy: what Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: are you? Janis: better when I see you Jimmy: I feel that Janis: Okay Janis: are you gonna bleed on me again though or Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you're safe Janis: I'm Janis: I know it'll get old if I keep saying the S word so I won't but Janis: I wish it didn't drag up all that stuff with your ex for you Jimmy: none of that is important Jimmy: just you Janis: you Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that won't get old if I keep saying it, will it? Janis: no Janis: I love you too so I never get tired of hearing it Jimmy: good Jimmy: 'cause you know I can't stop when I've started Janis: yeah Janis: one of the things I like about you Jimmy: even if it has fucked the 🚭 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: you promised you'll stay Janis: and you're already dead yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 👻 lad me Janis: so you can't go nowhere anyway Janis: soz ginger trying to save your soul, too late Jimmy: & I can't get hurt either Jimmy: so if any other dickheads need fighting, it's no #drama Janis: not planning to make it a thing Janis: not that I planned this Jimmy: I get it, a weekly brawl would have me too 💪 & you don't need the competition Jimmy: not planning to become an athlete though you're alright Janis: you're an idiot Janis: a lovable one but Jimmy: an idiot for getting detention Jimmy: he couldn't have pulled that shit if I were there Janis: not like you planned on being too cool for school either Janis: give out detentions for their own amusement, sadists Jimmy: always too 😎 me Jimmy: for school or anywhere Janis: gift and a curse yeah babe Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: this bus actually run or what? Jimmy: I've been stood here ages Janis: yeah, last I checked Janis: if I knew where you were I could come to you Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: you know everyone'll be talking about it tomorrow Jimmy: let them tell you Janis: Probably shouldn't come to School Janis: reckon I'm gonna get stoned Janis: not in the chill way Jimmy: the teachers are fucking useless yeah but I ain't letting nowt happen to you Jimmy: or letting anyone think this is more than just bollocks Janis: they'll think what they wanna, and they really wanna Janis: idc Jimmy: like I told you, I'll fight whichever dickheads need to be told Jimmy: I don't care Janis: can't fight girls though can ya Jimmy: I don't need to Jimmy: you can Jimmy: or however else you wanna sort it Janis: yeah Janis: fuck knows Janis: I don't wanna have to always deal with this Janis: the lads just think I'm a slag so they can get some, whatever, makes sense Janis: they're just cunty 'cos they wanna, like alright but why bother Jimmy: I've said it before Jimmy: they're jealous Jimmy: you're hotter than them Jimmy: & good at shit 'cause you're SUCH an athlete as I'm always also saying Janis: that's so fucking stupid Janis: focus on yourselves ladies, might get something done Jimmy: tweet it girl Janis: 😂 Janis: keeping well away from social media rn tah Jimmy: 💔 but you're my muse Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no one's stopping you from being 👑 of twitter etc Janis: @ me though, can't handle another blatant subtweet or indirect Jimmy: 👌 fine Janis: what Janis: you reckon I should come running to my own defence Jimmy: I don't reckon owt Jimmy: it ain't happening to me Janis: well Janis: bit Jimmy: nah I'm the #victim if I'm in this Jimmy: my DMs are full of girls offering a shoulder to cry or cum on Janis: that's disgusting Janis: truly Janis: gonna miss your way with words Janis: but that's what I get Jimmy: you should see some of the pics I've been sent Jimmy: disgusting them Janis: no thank you Janis: not actually my thing Jimmy: I weren't asked if any of this was my thing Jimmy: but fine, I'll take one for the team Janis: I know, I know Janis: it's gross Janis: pretty bold of him to do this when I've got the dick pics, like Janis: guess enough peeps have 👀 or he's that full of himself Jimmy: probably hoping you'll show 'em about & the girls'll swoon Jimmy: dickhead Janis: 🙄 Janis: wouldn't put it past them so nah Janis: burn my phone, burn my retinas, like Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: assume Mia is licking his wounds for him as we speak Jimmy: I hurt him enough, maybe she'll actually swallow him Janis: 🙏🤞 Jimmy: who the fuck is he Jimmy: why does he think he can be this much of a bellend Janis: idk Janis: he's fit and such an athlete, obvs everyone loves him Janis: good match Jimmy: he ain't fit & I beat the shit out of him so how much of an athlete is he Janis: well you know what I mean Janis: stereotypical jock pretending his life is an american teen drama or a really low rent porn Janis: idk, the fact he was such a dickhead worked at the time Jimmy: it's your type, don't have to tell me Janis: fuck off Janis: no it ain't Jimmy: he is, I am Jimmy: that's two for two Jimmy: unless you've been hanging round with some right nerds Janis: you ain't my type either Janis: people don't actually have types do they Jimmy: you tried to tell me I do as soon as I met you Janis: yeah and look where you've ended up Janis: types are for when you wanna play it safe and be disappointed Janis: know what you're getting, even if it's a steaming pile of 💩 Jimmy: you don't have to sell me on how wrong you were, girl Jimmy: I told you back then Janis: I wasn't wrong Jimmy: you said I have a type, I don't Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: 👌 Jimmy: nah, come on Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: you have a type but you got 🍀 Janis: obviously Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: jk Janis: very unlucky Janis: 'part from the bathroom fuck, worst girlfriend ever Jimmy: apart from every fuck Jimmy: get it right Janis: please tweet that final review Janis: not all bad Jimmy: alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: erm wait until you've dumped me, dickhead Janis: and wait 'til this scandal has blown over 'fore that or they'll have it #confirmed Jimmy: you don't reckon I'm gonna have more to say after I've been fucking you forever Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: thought I had a way with words Janis: you do Janis: that was beautiful baby Janis: please fuck me forever 💕 Jimmy: I already promised Jimmy: not gonna break it & your 💔 Janis: tah 👍 Janis: you are on the bus now though on the real Jimmy: it did show up yeah Janis: coulda told me Janis: rude Jimmy: didn't realise you needed a warning Jimmy: do you wanna countdown or what Janis: shut up Janis: too soon to be making jokes about needing time to see the last out the door Jimmy: so funny you Janis: I said it's too soon Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be my friend Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: stop friendzoning me Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: okay be my boyfriend then Jimmy: I am Jimmy: who do you think you're chatting to right now Jimmy: might have the wrong convo, girl Janis: think I'd be better at this Janis: honestly Janis: rookie errors these Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't have to kick you when you're down Jimmy: embarrassing really Janis: I'll do better next time babe Janis: promise Jimmy: yeah sort it out Janis: hey, you're hot, wanna help me cheat on my boyfriend Jimmy: not that kind of boy Jimmy: but you'll find loads of takers so don't be 💔 Janis: am a bit Jimmy: you're 💔 or you're calling me a bit of a slag Jimmy: either way, gutted Janis: I've called you a slag many a time Janis: not gonna half-arse it now Jimmy: & I've been gutted every time Jimmy: but tah for letting me know what you meant Janis: you know it's just guilt projection Janis: shameless, really Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: well that's your rep now, may as well Janis: cheers Janis: probs shit the bed a bit with him but like you said, loads of takers Jimmy: chin up, Jillian Jimmy: you've got that paddy 🍀 on your side Janis: such a charmer Jimmy: what you like about me Janis: you want a list or you just stating facts Jimmy: it's a fact Jimmy: don't wear yourself out with the list Jimmy: bet you've got loads of DMs to get through & fire sexts to write Janis: naturally Janis: I don't even know who some of these people are though Jimmy: I'd offer my services but I ain't written one for a lad before Jimmy: Barry ain't that tech savvy Jimmy: give him a ring or nowt Janis: boys are easy Janis: very visual Janis: your talent would be wasted, tbh Jimmy: that's tanked my get rich quick scheme Janis: 😕 Janis: soz Janis: start charging for your nudes instead of giving 'em away, probs Jimmy: I'll just charge every girl in my inbox for a reply Jimmy: be alright Janis: not me though Janis: mates rates right Jimmy: I'm charging you double every time you friendzone me, mate Janis: Baby Jimmy: triple when you really 💔 me Janis: when have I ever Janis: babe Jimmy: you want a list Jimmy: 'cause the bus ain't got that many more stops so tell me now Janis: that is so mean Janis: 💔 Jimmy: baby Janis: I'm too headfucked rn for your shennanigans Janis: just be here Jimmy: I really miss you Jimmy: so much Janis: I miss you more Janis: definitely Jimmy: you can't say that Janis: but I do Jimmy: you can't feel how much I miss you Janis: I wish I could Janis: I need to know that you're okay and you really do believe me Jimmy: when I get there I'll do my best Jimmy: but it's never Jimmy: all of it Jimmy: I wish I could show you that Janis: we got time Janis: right Jimmy: depends Jimmy: can we stay at your nan & granddads for a bit Janis: yeah Jimmy: then yeah Janis: I love you, you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: & I do too Janis: no one else matters Janis: just you and me Jimmy: you're all I give a fuck about Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: can we go somewhere Jimmy: where Janis: anywhere Janis: it doesn't have to be now, if you can't but Jimmy: I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: any time you want Janis: I don't want us to forget Janis: that none of them, and their shit, matters Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: & I won't let you Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: so much Janis: I fucking need you, Jim Jimmy: I need you more Jimmy: like actually Janis: I Janis: it hurts Janis: when you aren't here Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but there's nowt keeping me away from you now Jimmy: soon as I'm off this bus we're together Jimmy: that's it Janis: nothing or no one getting in our way yeah Jimmy: I swear Janis: Good Janis: you're mine okay Jimmy: it's okay with me, yeah Janis: good Jimmy: meet me off here Jimmy: I have to see you Jimmy: I just Janis: coming Janis: let me just settle this dog, 5 minutes max Jimmy: like one 🐶💕 weren't enough Jimmy: but go on Janis: this one makes Twix look like an 😇 Janis: gonna be so glad to see her, you are Jimmy: you better make sure you see her Jimmy: that's the cheating you've really done Janis: don't think I can look her in her puppydog eyes tbh Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: for her though not you Jimmy: you know what you did Janis: 😭 Janis: I had nowhere else to go Jimmy: save it for her, babe Jimmy: I don't need your excuses Janis: you know you wanna put in a good word for me, come on Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if only to get her off my case Jimmy: I ain't nobody's rebound tah Janis: gotta have standards Janis: respect that Jimmy: & I told you that early on Jimmy: bit late to go back on it now Janis: you did? Janis: well it stands up Jimmy: you've forgotten? Jimmy: which one of us might have gotten smacked in the head today Jimmy: get it together, like Janis: soz I ain't memorized everything you've said Janis: only pretending to be that highkey Jimmy: crack on with it Jimmy: you've got time, nerd Janis: you gonna stop chatting so much shit or? Janis: making my life hard Jimmy: make me Janis: I am omw Jimmy: be faster Jimmy: are you even an athlete or what Jimmy: if you ain't running to me so we can film it in slo-mo it ain't #goals my love Janis: you know I just won a 🏀 before being forced on a walk of shame Janis: I'm knackered Jimmy: shit I never even asked Jimmy: sorry Janis: you're alright, safe to say no one gave much of a shit before something more #drama happened Jimmy: I did though Jimmy: I do Janis: thanks Janis: you're a good WAG Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😘 Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: it's weird enough that you play for any school teams, don't call me a WAG too Janis: gets you out of lessons sometimes Janis: you know you wanna Jimmy: gutted I'm too 😎 Jimmy: 'cause yeah Janis: you ain't too cool to be with me Jimmy: but seriously, what team are they letting me on Jimmy: #troublemaker me Janis: sure they'll reckon it's good discipline for you then 😏 Jimmy: 🙄 'course Janis: come on Janis: I wanna see the short shorts Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: say please & maybe Janis: I'll say it when you get here Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but only 'cause I wanna see you so bad Janis: Good Janis: I miss you Jimmy: just Jimmy: you be here Jimmy: I Janis: thanks Janis: for being you and not Janis: believing Jimmy: what else was I gonna do? Jimmy: you're the only one I like Janis: you could've though Janis: like, convincing, give him that Jimmy: if I was gonna be like that I might as well just fuck off now Jimmy: I mean it, all of this, it's the only thing I've got Jimmy: or want Jimmy: & we're a team whether the school lets me join in or not Janis: me too Janis: promise Jimmy: if you say nowt happened then it didn't Jimmy: that's all the convincing I need Jimmy: you don't lie to me Janis: I don't Janis: and why would I Janis: I didn't feel anything when we did do stuff so Janis: pointless now Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: you said Janis: I thought that's how it was Janis: just overhyped Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: even if now I've met you I don't reckon it was hyped up enough Janis: you're Janis: why are you so nice to me Jimmy: I told you, you're nice to me Jimmy: then I'm nice back Jimmy: it's a deal Janis: I'll be nicer Jimmy: how Jimmy: you're so Janis: again Janis: I'll show you Janis: 'cos I see you now Jimmy: yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: have you forgotten what I look like Jimmy: he didn't hit me that hard Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'm okay Jimmy: I promise Janis: I'll check Janis: 'cos I'll kill him if he has Jimmy: 🤞 he's already 💀 Jimmy: I hit him hard so Janis: he earnt it Jimmy: I don't care about him Jimmy: it's for you Janis: me either Janis: just you Janis: did it make you feel better Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: people bullshit when they say it won't Jimmy: I only wish I could have fucked him up worse for what he did Jimmy: & what he's like Janis: don't worry, his ego is 💀 if nothing else Janis: already 😷 'cos I turned him down Jimmy: that makes me feel loads better Janis: seriously Janis: it was pretty funny 'til it weren't Janis: 😢 like Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: how could I not Jimmy: that's real #goals Janis: wish you coulda been there Janis: coulda showed him why I don't want him Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it's not just him though, you don't want anyone else, do you? Janis: no one Janis: you know it's just you Jimmy: alright Jimmy: good Jimmy: come here then Janis: ['scuse them the most intense hello ever] Jimmy: [literally would & do need several moments] Janis: [can tell she's been in a state] Jimmy: [just all the reassuring touches in the world like he would not stop even when they are trying to walk again or whatever] Jimmy: [says 'afternoon' and smiles casually but is looking at her like & like I said just touching always] Janis: [blinking 'cos her eyes are stinging 'cos a bitch don't cry but she really thought y'all had fucked this up for them] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [a boy sees & knows but he's keeping it chill for her] Jimmy: ['alright?'] Janis: [nods] Janis: ['now you're here'] Jimmy: [so many kisses basically wherever he can cos he can't stop himself like some are soft and some aren't cos all the feelings bitch] Janis: [holding onto him so tight and all the ilys] Jimmy: [likewise holding onto her like they about to drown like sorry everyone else about but not cos he would not be able to stop rn] Janis: [let's get you inside lads cheers for the empty grandparents] Jimmy: [more of the same when they're in lbr] Janis: [is checking his over like she said she would but is clearly fine suck it harry] Jimmy: [literally still can't stop touching her either even though low key would get in the way of what she's trying to do] Janis: [is loling but not trying to stop him 'cos never] Jimmy: [more kisses cos it ends them when the other one laughs] Janis: [softness bitch, getting him to the sofa 'cos she just wants to hold/be held for a hot sec] Jimmy: [give them a while with all those much needed snuggles] Janis: ['you're so important'] Jimmy: ['you are'] Janis: [let's self have sneaky cry 'cos overwhelmed as hell] Jimmy: [isn't gonna make a big deal of it even if he knows so just more of the same softness & being comforting & loving like] Janis: [laying on his chest listening to his heart] Jimmy: [playing with her hair from now until forever bye] Janis: ['it's fast'] Jimmy: [nods 'I told you, I had to see you. Needed to.'] Janis: [puts his hand on her chest, 'same', cos truly] Jimmy: [imagine what the fuck his breathing would have been like too omg] Janis: [let them just be so they can just calm] Jimmy: [later, he gets up to get them both a drink not alcohol let's not be wild, it'd be cute cos he don't know where anything is but still wanna do it for her] Janis: if you just wanted to look through the cupboards, that's alright Jimmy: just seeing if they got any posh silver I can have away Jimmy: life of crime starts here Janis: by the time the inheritance is split between us all I won't get much so Janis: go for your life, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [brings her a beverage probably tea actually cos that's what english people do] Janis: ['tah'] Jimmy: [goes back to snuggling like he never left] Janis: 'you're the best boyfriend'] Jimmy: ['you're the best muse. Very inspiring.'] Janis: ['what are you thinking right now?'] Jimmy: [kisses her cos he's thinking about how much he loves her/how happy he is this isn't fucked up etc but how to say] Janis: [smiles] Janis: works for me Jimmy: [kisses her again cos the smile] Janis: are you coming back to mine tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: [bigger smile] Jimmy: [just 😍 at her] Janis: nothing's ever gonna fuck this Jimmy: works for me Jimmy: [smiles back] Janis: promise Jimmy: are you promising or asking me if I do Janis: both Jimmy: well I do Jimmy: [sips tea but not in a shady way lol] Janis: good Janis: 'cos I like you Jimmy: I love you Janis: [pouncing for kiss be careful of the tea] Jimmy: [cue make out session they both need & deserve] Janis: we can stay home tomorrow can't we Jimmy: we can do whatever you want Janis: I don't care if people reckon I'm running or being a pussy Janis: don't wanna be there Janis: just wanna be with you Jimmy: I don't give a shit about anything but you having what you want Janis: you Jimmy: [just pulling her into her lap for cuddles like] Janis: everything is alright when you're with me Jimmy: then everything's alright Jimmy: I ain't going nowhere Janis: me either Janis: [snuggles further in to prove point] Jimmy: [keeping them like that lowkey forever]

[klaineanummel]

eighteen going on extinct 11/20

Kurt Fabray just wants to relax after a tough week at school, but that is shown to be impossible when he realizes that his absent father has once again blown into town. Not wanting to spend more time around him than necessary, Kurt goes to his old babysitters house, the one place he feels safe when his father is in town. While there, he stumbles upon a secret he knows he was never meant to find out - one that could change the entire course of his life.

An AU very loosely based on Mamma Mia.

Hello everybody!!!! I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I posted. My wifi is super spotty right now, and will continue to be for at least the next two weeks. Because of that, I'm posting two chapters today (chapter 12 will come shortly after this one) and I might post one tomorrow, since I don't actually know when I'll be able to post again after that (potentially not until November 7 or 8, but I might be able to squeeze a chapter in in-between). 

Warning that you're not going to be happy with Quinn in this chapter, but I hope you will try and be empathetic as well. Abusive relationships, even if the abuse is emotional and not physical, are difficult, and people in them don't always make the best decisions.

I hope you enjoy, and I'll see you in a bit with chapter 12!

Previous Chapter |  Read on AO3 

Monday morning dawns bright and early, and Kurt is surprised when he opens his bedroom door to find his mom sitting on the couch, a large bowl of cereal in her lap.

“Mom?” he asks, taking a cautious step toward her. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

She shakes her head. “Called in,” she whispers. “I couldn’t… the thought of being there…”

“Hey,” Kurt says, hurrying to her side. “It’s okay. I get it. Last night was rough.”

Her eyes begin to water, and Kurt pulls her close to him, though he makes sure to keep his burnt hand (covered in an old strip-cloth bandage to keep the numerous burn dressings – which their next-door neighbor miraculously had – in place) elevated and away from her body.

“He was just drunk,” his mom says, though Kurt isn’t sure if she’s speaking to him or to herself. “He was just drunk.”

“Exactly, mom. He was drunk. After he specifically told you he wasn’t going to fall off the wagon again.”

“I provoked him.”

“No,” Kurt says, shaking his head. “No, stop right there.”

“It’s true, I did.”

“No, it’s not, and you know it. He’s the dick, not you. Remember what you told me last time he got drunk? That I didn’t put the beer in his hand or shove it down his throat?”

She shakes her head fondly and smiles up at him despite the tears in her eyes. “Why did I raise you to be so smart?”

“Rookie mistake?”

“That’s gotta be it,” she says, leaning back in close to him. “How’s your hand?”

Kurt doesn’t get to respond, though. The door opens slowly, and the sound of boots walking in rings through the apartment.

Puck peeks past the wall separating the living room and the kitchen, and Kurt feels his jaw tense.

“Um. Hey.”

“You,” Kurt hisses, but before he can say anything else, Quinn is out of his arms and running at Puck.

Kurt hopes more than anything that she will slap him across the face and force him right back out.

Of course, that isn’t what happens.

“You came back,” she says, throwing her arms around Puck’s middle and hugging him close.

“Of course I did,” Puck says, his own arms coming around Kurt’s mom. Kurt’s stomach turns at the mere sight. “I was… Fuck, Quinn, I was so stupid last night. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even know why…” He shakes his head, then pulls Quinn away from him so they’re looking into each others’ eyes. “It’s the last time, okay? I’m never going to get like that again.”

“I’ll help you, okay? Just like last time. I’ll help you get better.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, Quinn,” Puck says, pulling her close once more.

Kurt can’t watch any longer. “Hello?” he calls out, standing up. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Puck takes a deep breath, then brings Quinn to his side, keeping an arm firmly at her side. “Kurt,” he says. “I’m really sorry about last night. I was out of line, both before and after I got drunk.”

“That means nothing to me,” Kurt says. “Mom, are you fucking kidding me? You’re just going to forget everything he did? Just like that?”

“Kurt…” she pleads.

“No, it’s okay, I get it,” Puck says, and fuck this suddenly super-understanding guy. Kurt wants to rip his throat out. “He’s angry. It’s fair. I wasn’t nice to you, or to him. But I’m going to change.”

“Did you fuck a therapist or something last night?” Kurt bursts. “Mom, you’re not seriously buying this, are you?”

“Kurt, he’s being sincere,” she says, but Kurt doesn’t want to hear it.

“Yeah, just like he was being sincere when he was apologizing for fucking my second-grade teacher. Just like he was being sincere when he apologized for taking our rent money and skipping town two days later, fucking off for a year-and-a-half. Just like he was sincere when he apologized for only sending one child support check a year for the past eighteen fucking years. Mom. He’s always goddamn sincere when he apologizes, and then he does the same thing all over again.”

Puck’s jaw twitches, and Kurt points to it instantly.

“See? He’s so fucking sincere, but he’s dying to deck me right now.”

“Kurt!” Quinn shouts. “Your father is not dying to deck you.”

“Oh, so he’s my father again, huh?” Kurt scoffs. “You know, fuck this. I’m going to be late for school.”

He goes back to his room, ignoring their murmuring as he goes. They manage to leave him alone for as long as it takes for him to change, but as soon as he’s shoving his shit into his backpack, his mom is knocking on his door and peaking in.

“Kurt, can we talk about this?”

He turns around, shoving his backpack onto his bed forcefully. “It’s never going to stop, is it?” he asks. “You know I finally thought you were realizing what a piece of shit he is. How he pits us against each other, always tries to make it him versus me. I thought you were finally realizing how you always fucking choose him, and that maybe that isn’t okay. But turns out all it takes is a couple of ‘I’m sorry’s’ and soulful puppy dog eyes, and you’re back in his arms like you’re fucking sixteen again.”

“Kurt, you don’t understand,” Quinn says, shutting the door behind her with a silent click. “He made a mistake.”

“He made a thousand fucking mistakes,” he says, arms raising in the air. His eye catches on his bandaged hand and he waves it in front of her. “How about this, huh? How about the fact that he fucking lunged at me and I burnt my goddamn hand moving away from him?”

“That’s not how that went, Kurt,” she says, keeping her voice far too calm.

“Oh, right. So, I just fucking backed up against the burner for no reason, because I’m that stupid.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, whatever you are saying, I don’t want to hear it,” he says. “I’m tired of this shit.” He shakes his head. “I’m going to Finn and Rachel’s after school today.”

“Kurt --”

“No,” he says, turning around and zipping his backpack up, then slinging it over his shoulder. “I need some time away, from him, and from you.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she reaches forward to him. “Kurt, please.”

“Stop, mom,” he says, dodging her attempt at contact. “Just stop. I get it now,” he shakes his head. “No matter what happens, no matter what you say… you’re always going to choose him.”

“Kurt,” she pleads, but Kurt is done.

He pushes past her out of his bedroom and out into the living room. Puck is still standing there, staring down at his nails like he can’t wait for this all to be over. Kurt scoffs. Yeah, he thinks, sincere apology, my ass.

“You,” he says, pointing an accusing finger at the man. “You better smarten the fuck up.”

“Look, Kurt, I told you I was –”

“No, you look,” he spits. “You somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to love you despite the fact that you are a literal piece of human garbage.” He can feel his mother’s eyes on him, but he refuses to look back at her. “You better start to treat her fucking right, or I will actually beat the shit out of you; even if the test proves that you are my father.”

Puck doesn’t say anything, seemingly stunned at the threat of violence. Kurt is a bit stunned himself. He’s never considered himself a violent person before, but right at this second, staring up into the eyes of the man who has ruined and continues to ruin his mother’s life, all he feels is the urge to punch.

He pushes past Puck before the man can regain his sense of speech, walking out of the apartment and letting the door close with an audible slam. He hurries down the hall and down the stairs, wanting to get out of there as soon as he can.

Somehow, he ends up at the bus stop earlier than he usually would and has to wait a good fifteen minutes before the bus rolls up. He jumps on, slumping into a seat near the back entrance, as per usual, and shoving his backpack beside him. He bounces his leg to the music in his earphones, anger flowing through him.

He’d texted Finn about the situation as soon as he got to the bus stop, but he hasn’t heard back from him yet. He guesses the man is preparing his lessons for the day, so he doesn’t mind; he just hopes he gets it in time to tell Kurt if it won’t work.

A couple of people glance at his hand as the bus fills, but Kurt just sneers at them. Whatever. He’s already been the topic of the school’s useless gossip mill for the past few weeks. Might as well give them something else to talk about.

The bus finally reaches Blaine’s stop and the boy gets on, flashing his bus pass with a small smile before heading right to where Kurt is sitting. Kurt pulls his earphones out of his ears, already feeling his spirits lift a little.

“Whoa,” Blaine says as soon as he sees Kurt. “What – Your hand!”

“Yeah,” Kurt nods, pulling his backpack onto his own seat. “I burnt it pretty bad.”

“On what?!” Blaine takes cups Kurt’s injured hand gently between his own, as though his touch alone will help to heal it.

“Stove,” Kurt says. “I’m going to have a wicked scar.”

“What in the world happened?” Blaine asks, hands closing softly over Kurt’s, cradling it in his warmth. Despite everything, Kurt can’t help but smile.

“I got into a fight with Puck while I was making supper,” he says. “He moved toward me aggressively and, like a moron, I backed away right into the lit burner.”

Blaine tuts, shaking his head. “You’re not a moron. I’d be scared, too, if an angry man was advancing on me,” he brings Kurt’s hand up to his lips and presses a kiss over the bandaged palm. “There,” he says, grinning. “All better.”

“Thank you,” Kurt says, missing the warmth of Blaine’s hands as soon as he takes them away. “It feels better.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for,” Blaine replies with a wink. “Seriously, though, are you okay? Burn aside.”

Kurt shrugs, hugging his backpack closer to his chest. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I’m obviously pissed as hell at Puck, but I’m also kind of pissed at my mom.” He frowns as the words come out of his mouth, almost tasting wrong. “I hate that,” he says. “I hate being mad at my mom.”

Blaine puts a hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Kurt glances around the bus, shaking his head. “Not here,” he says.

“Oh, so we’re putting a stop to all the deep talks on the bus?” Blaine asks, voice lilting teasingly. “Because I was really excited to tell you more about my childhood on the bus ride home.”

“Guess you’ll just have to tell me at lunch instead,” Kurt winks.

Blaine chuckles. “Only after you tell me why you’re mad at your mom.”

Kurt presses his lips together for a moment, then nods. “Deal.”

By the time lunch time rolls around, Kurt is ready to pull his hair out. People have been staring at him and whispering all goddamn day. They keep staring at his bandaged hand and then turning to their friends and mumbling to each other.

He’s sick of it.

“I fucking burned it,” he snaps at a couple of freshmen, who instantly turn bright red and look away.

“Rough day, huh?” Blaine asks as he walks up to Kurt’s locker. If anything, his being there only seems to make people turn to each other and whisper harder.

“Would have been better if people didn’t keep whispering about me right in front of my goddamn face,” he says, loud enough for everybody doing exactly that to hear.

“Oh, yeah,” Blaine says, a fake smile appearing on his face. “Apparently you’re hot news again.”

“My stupid hand, right?”

“A little,” Blaine replies as they start to walk down the hall. “I’m part of it, too.”

“Really, now?”

“Yep,” Blaine’s smile widens. “Apparently you’ve officially hit rock bottom, going from the Incredible Scott Smith to little ol’ me. So far I’ve heard people whispering about how I’m not as hot as, or as smart as, or as athletic as, or as rich as, or as good in bed as their all-powerful overlord.” His face becomes even more manic, eyes expanding impossibly. “I don’t even want to know how they figure the last one.”

“Christ,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “So, I went from not being good enough for Sebastian to being too good for you? What the literal hell.”

“I know, right? How fun is this school?”

Kurt snorts. “Why do you think you’re my only friend?”

“Not for my looks, brains, athleticism, money, or sexual abilities, that’s for sure.”

They find an empty classroom and head inside, falling into two desks at the far side of the room.

“It’s so goddamn stupid,” Kurt says. “Like, why does anybody even care about me? Sebastian’s gone, they can leave me alone now.”

“Apparently not,” Blaine shakes his head. He opens his lunch bag, then stops and gives Kurt a look he doesn’t like at all. “Actually, before I forget, I need to tell you what people are saying about your hand.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kurt rolls his eyes. “Fine, lay it on me.” Blaine looks apprehensive, so Kurt just says, “Blaine, I’d rather hear it from you then from one of the dipshits on the football team. Just tell me.”

“Yeah, so,” Blaine clears his throat. “The rumor going around is that your mom caught us in bed together and got so mad she broke your wrist.”

“What the fuck, that doesn’t even – the bandage doesn’t even reach my wrist how do they—” Kurt stops, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm the fury rushing through him.

“Thank you for telling me,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m glad I heard it from you, because if I heard anybody else talking shit about my mom like that, I would have decked them.”

“Really?” Blaine asks, something crossing his eyes that makes Kurt instantly feel guilty.

Kurt sighs. “No,” he says honestly. “I’m not actually the violent type. I mean, I did tell Puck I’d beat the shit out of him if he didn’t start treating my mom better, but he evokes a special kind of anger inside me.”

“Right,” Blaine says. He doesn’t look fully convinced.

“Seriously, I talk a big game, but I can’t fight for shit. Sebastian was so upset when he found out his ‘bad boy rebellion boyfriend’ couldn’t even throw a punch.”

Blaine narrows his eyes at him for a moment, then asks, “Have you dated anybody other than Sebastian?”

Kurt freezes. “What?” he asks. “Why?”

“Sorry,” Blaine says, pulling his sandwich out of his bag. “That must have seemed random. I just… you never talk about any other ex-boyfriend’s. Just Sebastian.”

Kurt ponders the question for a moment, brain still trying to catch up with the shift in conversation. “I never actually thought about that,” he says. “I, uh. I guess I haven’t. Not really.”

“Not really?”

“Yeah, like, I’ve gone on dates, or whatever, but never anything serious until Sebastian.”

Blaine stares down at his sandwich, picking at the crust. “Did you love him?”

Kurt’s throat dries. He swallows thickly, and his heart starts to pound. “I thought I did,” he says.

Blaine nods, picking at his crust a little bit more. Then, he looks up, smile just a little bit too wide to be real. “Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me, huh? As your Rumor Boyfriend and all that. Everyone already says you must be constantly comparing me to Sebastian, and now I know you loved him…”

“I thought I loved him,” Kurt corrects quickly. He sucks on a cheek, deciding if he should say anything, then decides to fuck it all and says, “Those rumors are correct, though. I do compare you to Sebastian.”

Blaine’s entire face falls. “What?” he asks, voice cracking. “Are you serious?”

Kurt nods. “Yep,” he pops the ‘p’. “Like, for example, every time we have a conversation, even if it’s about you, you always end up asking me how I’m doing, or how I’m feeling. Then after those conversations, you follow up. You actually care about all the shit going on with my family. Sebastian never even asked to meet my mom.”

Blaine’s face brightens slowly as he seems to realize what Kurt is saying. “So, I’m the winner in these comparisons?”

Kurt scoffs. “Are you kidding? You’re like, the champion. Sebastian has nothing on you.”

“Even though you thought you loved Sebastian?”

“Thinking you love someone and genuinely liking someone are two totally different things,” Kurt says. “Blaine, you and I are friends. That’s not something I could ever say about me and Sebastian.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow. “And the hot thing?”

Kurt rolls his eyes, though he can’t stop the smile creeping up his lips. “Okay, you’re pushing it.”

“What about the sexual prowess thing?” Blaine wiggles his eyebrows. “Am I better in bed than Sebastian?”

Kurt raises an eyebrow. “Well, I wouldn’t know, but I’m guessing yes.”

Blaine smirks. “He was that bad in bed, huh?”

“Oh, no,” Kurt shakes his head. “Sebastian was awesome in bed.” He shrugs, going for nonchalant. “I just have a feeling that you’d be way better.”

Blaine stares at him with wide eyes and parted lips as he says it, and god, Kurt likes him so much. If it weren’t for Blaine’s stupid no-dating rule, he’d kiss him.

He glances down at Blaine’s lips, then up to Blaine’s eyes. He catches Blaine looking at his lips as well.

Fuck.

Should he kiss him?

Blaine leans in a little, and Kurt feels the pull, leaning forward as well.

Before their lips can touch, Blaine pulls away. “So, um, tell me about the issues with your mom,” he says, voice higher than usual.

Kurt pauses where he is, hand clenching into a fist where it sits atop the desk. He takes a deep breath, then sits back up, levelling Blaine a hard look. “What about my mom?” he asks, all too aware of the bright blush coloring Blaine’s cheeks.

“You said you were mad at her, too, not just Puck. Why?”

Kurt shrugs, trying to diffuse the awkwardness lingering around them. “Puck got really drunk last night, and when he came home he told mom she had to choose between him and me. She said she didn’t want to, but that she’d choose me if it came down to it, so Puck left. Then this morning he comes back, feeds her some sob story about how he’s going to change, how things will be different, whatever, nothing we haven’t heard a million times before,” he rolls his eyes. “And the moron fucking believes him. She just ran into his arms and basically told him none of it mattered and that she’d love him forever and ever no matter what.”

Blaine lets out a low whistle. “Wow,” he says, deadpan.

“Pretty much,” Kurt says. “So I told her I was going to stay at Finn and Rachel’s for a bit,” he says. “Well, if they’re okay with it. I haven’t heard back from Finn yet.”

“If you can’t stay there, I’m sure Burt would take you in,” Blaine says. “At least for a night or two.”

Kurt smiles thinly. “Thanks,” he says, though what he really wants to say is, “And do you think you could stop teasing me with the implications that you want more than just friendship with me if we were under the same roof at night?”

“Anyway,” he says, ridding his mind of the thought, “I’m just annoyed that my mom keeps falling for the same dumb shit over and over. And I’m annoyed that she drags me into it. She knows Puck and I don’t get along, that apartment is like a toxic waste site, but she refuses to do anything about it. She’ll never kick him out, even when he pulls bullshit like last night.” He shakes his head. “You know the worst part? For a minute there, I actually thought she’d changed.”

Blaine tilts his head a little. “How do you mean?”

“He was being an asshole when I burned my hand, and so she told him to either get me some ice, or to get out. He didn’t get me the ice, so she made him leave. She’s never done that before,” he looks down at his bandaged hand. “Didn’t matter, though. She still fucking took him back, like it was nothing.”

“Maybe it isn’t nothing,” Blaine says. When Kurt raises an eyebrow at him, he hesitantly continues. “I mean, I don’t know your mom, but from what you’ve told me this was clearly an important step forward. Maybe… I don’t know, maybe she’s realizing she’s been wrong all this time to keep him in your lives, but she’s still trying to cling to their relationship?”

Kurt sighs, slumping in the chair. “I really hope you’re right,” he says. “But even then, I don’t know if she’d ever actually get to the point of kicking him out of our lives,” he stares past Blaine, out the window. A few red leaves blow by. “I just hate how it’s come between us. I hate that she’s always putting her desire to be loved by him above the well-being of our family.”

Blaine nods pensively. “It isn’t fair to you,” he says.

“No,” Kurt agrees without hesitation. “It isn’t.”

He finally gets a text back from Finn by sixth period, informing him that he is always welcome in their home. He asks what happened, and Kurt texts back that he’ll explain later, and then apologizes for not being in contact more since they came to his house.

Finn, of course, tells him that it’s no problem. Because that’s just how Finn is.

He finds Blaine after last period so they can walk to the bus stop together, even though Kurt is going to have to cross the street and take the bus coming the opposite way to get to Finn and Rachel’s. Blaine pouts about how he’s missing out on more deep talks, and Kurt hates how cute it is.

He waits for the bus with Blaine, knowing the one on the opposite side of the road won’t come for at least ten minutes after the other bus leaves. Blaine tells him about his annoyance with his lab partner in Chemistry as they wait, then promises to text Kurt about how terrible the bus ride is without him.

He keeps that promise, and Kurt has to stop himself from grinning when every new text update from Blaine comes in. Blaine is always sassier in his texts than he is in person, and Kurt loves it.

They keep texting until Kurt arrives at Finn and Rachel’s house, when he begrudgingly tells Blaine that he’ll probably have to step away from his phone for at least an hour as he fills Rachel and Finn in on what’s been going on.

From: Bowtie Blaine

Fine, but I’ll miss you.

Kurt isn’t sure whether to grin or groan. Blaine and his mixed signals are going to drive him crazy one of these days.

           From: Kurt

           Careful now. I’m going to start thinking you like me.

Blaine’s answer comes in a flash, and it makes Kurt’s heart ache.

           From: Bowtie Blaine

           I think you know by now that I do.

He pockets his phone, arriving at Finn and Rachel’s house. Despite wanting to follow this rabbit hole, maybe even bring up the almost-kiss from lunch, Kurt knows he should be present for the conversation about to follow.

He rings the doorbell and Finn answers in a second, pulling him close and wrapping him in his arms. Kurt closes his eyes as Finn’s familiar scent envelops him, and wonders if this is what it feels like to be hugged by a father.

“Alright, you,” Finn says, putting his arm around Kurt and dragging him into the house. “Tell me everything that happened, okay?”

He sees Rachel peeking out from the dining room, a bottle of water in hand. “I think you mean us, Finn,” she says, glaring at her husband. “Tell us everything that happened.”

Kurt smiles as Finn sticks his tongue out at her, letting the man lead him into the dining room. There’s a plate of fruit on the table, as well as a bowl of chips and a couple of cans of Coke. Kurt’s stomach warms at the sight of it, as well as the thought of Finn and Rachel going to the trouble of preparing this for him.

“Seriously, Kurt,” Finn says as they sit down, Finn beside Kurt and Rachel opposite them. Finn’s hand comes up to Kurt’s shoulder and squeezes it softly; comfortingly. “Tell us what happened.”

Kurt just shakes his head and says, “Every-fucking-thing, guys. Every-fucking thing.”

Chapter Twelve