#... so yeah I don't feel entirely safe posting anything to do with my work lately

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing

This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.

Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.

ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')

Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...

Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!

[doorlesscub00]

The Last Goodbye

Spencer x reader drabble authors note: Hey guys!! This is the first time posting a fic I've written, so please let me know what you think!! all feedback it appreciated and welcomed!! Short write- Less then 500 words, but potential for a second part!! Not proofread either!! The reader isn't mentioned of gender- It's written in second person point of view. Theirs mention of yelling, a bit of toxicity and Spencer out of prison. It is angsty.

He's been more distant lately. You were growing more and more concerned about him. Ever since he got back from prison, he changed. He grew cold. Pushing you away. The constant fights, unable to even hear you. You tried, tried to your last bone in your body... but everyone has their breaking points. 4 years withering away like it was merely a facade.

Here he is. Dismissive and angry. Why is he shouting so loudly and incoherently? You asked him how his day was, and if he was alright, and then the split happened. Spencer is turning into this unrecognizable person, yelling at you for being too invasive, too pushy and nosey. You just wanted to help. And now he is screaming in your face...

Ring... Ring...

He answered the call in two rings, it takes him two calls to answer you. It was like his entire personality shifted... He was kinder, sweeter, understanding... reminds you of the Spencer you once knew... the one you lost.

He looks at you and answers the line... "Yeah I can make it in right now. I don't have anything special going on. Yeah, I know. I'll see you in 20 Emily."

He hung up the phone and spoke coldly, telling you he needed to go back to work, went into the bedroom and grabbed his to-go back, and went straight to the front door and left.

This time would be different, you knew it. You didn't weakly tell him goodbye and to be safe. No. No more of that. You've done it every time he left, but not today. Did he even notice that.? Probably not. He left, and it gives you at least one day to get everything out, at best 12 days. But you wouldn't risk taking your time. Straight to your room and grabbing all of your belongings, throwing them into your car. Questions swarm through your head. Where would you go. What will happen to the thing you can't fit in your car to bring. Would he care you left.? Would he notice your absence when he gets back.. Would he be happy. Maybe try to find you and try to change. Could he change back to the man he once was.. You hope he could go back to Spencer you fell...

Wait! No. Stop thinking about him. You're leaving him to be happier. Free. So then why does it feel like you have a 50 pound weight on your chest. It doesn't matter. You had to do this. You had to leave.. Staying would only make you loose your mind. Be driven to insanity. It's time to hurry. Not another night here. Booking a hotel for the night and going from there would be the safest option. It's already 11:27pm. You threw the rest of the belongings you could carry in your car, leaving quite a bit behind but you needed to prioritize what you took, went back and left your key on his counter and walked out the door..

Looking back one last time, leaving behind all the forgotten laughs, all the petty fights... Your new start begun now. As you started the engine of your car, you started your new chapter in life. A chapter of which you can only go up. Find joy once more. Backing out of his driveway, you knew you could never go back on what you're choosing. And so there you were, dead of night with the street lights to show you the way as you drove away from the empty shell, the once you once considered to be a warm and loving home..

A/n: Okay so I am debating on making a second part to this- or maybe like 2 different endings to the story.? A sad one and a happy one. But let me know what you guys want!! If I should leave it as is, or continue onto it. Anywho, thank you so much for reading my Drabble!! Means the world to me, but for now, goodbye my lovely cubs!! Till next time, have a wonderful day or night!! Better yet, both!!

[ofstarsandvibranium]

My Sweetheart: Part 8

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: You purchase a vintage sweetheart bracelet from an antique store and with it, comes the spirit of the woman who owned it. Through her, you go on an interesting journey to find out what happened to her old lover.

Series Masterlist

Volunteer interest, donations, and overall support for the animal shelter had increased immensely thanks to Kamala and America posting a cute TikTok that showcases the animals and the work you do.

Due to their respective missions, each Avenger has been coming in sporadically throughout the duration of their volunteer committment. You can't fault them, obviously. The entire world (and galaxy) heavily rely on them to keep everyone safe. You'd feel like a total asshole if you got upset for them not fulfilling their required hours.

You suppose that's why Kamala and America decided to make the TikToks. To bring awareness and because maybe they felt bad for a majority of the older Avengers for not keeping up.

Regardless, you definitely have had your hands full lately. You've been coming in earlier and leaving later since you want to make sure you've finished everything that needed to be finished.

Bucky had continuously been coming to the shelter often to help out and spend time with Alpine, but he'd been gone all week. You can see the toll it's taken on the poor white kitten.

You've made sure to spend as much time with him as possible to make up for Bucky's absence.

Like now, he's currently sleeping in your hoodie as you're going through the volunteer applications that just keep coming in.

As you scroll through them, someone knocks at your office door.

"Come in," you say just loud enough for them to hear but not loud enough to wake up Al.

The door swings open and Bucky pops his head in, "Hi," he gives an awkward wave.

"Hi!" you exclaim excitedly and immediately apologize to a startled Alpine, "I'm so sorry, buddy!"

Bucky's eyes twinkle as soon as he spots the white cat, "There's my favorite bud!"

Alpine immediately climbs out of your hoodie and onto your desk, meowing up a storm, as if scolding Bucky for being away.

Bucky chuckles and immediately scratches the cat behind his ear, "I know. I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, Al. I missed you too," he says fondly as Alpine nuzzles against Bucky's metal arm.

He then looks up at you, "How's it going?"

You sigh, "Been super busy. Did you just come back?"

He nods, "Yeah. Decided to stop by here on my way home. Dot causin' you any trouble?"

You snort, "No. She's been helping me, actually. We've gotten an influx of volunteer applications, donations, sponsors, it's become overwhelming and I've gotten a little frazzled by it all."

"Frazzled? You? I can't imagine," he says jokingly and you roll your eyes.

"Shut up. Anyway, I've just been a mess and Dot's just been helping me remember things or show me where I've misplaced stuff. I think we've gotten a good rhythm going lately."

The chair on the other side of your desk moves to Bucky, nudging at his side, "The hell?" he looks down at it and then around, "Whatcha need, Dot?"

The chair moves again and you giggle, "I think she wants you to sit down. Honestly, I agree, you look dead on your feet."

He frowns at you, "Gee thanks," he plops himself into the chair and Alpine immediately hops into his lap. The cat purs as he settles, nuzzling against the metal hand petting him.

"Things go okay with whatever mission you were on?" you ask, bringing your attention back to the applications because there was no way you'd get them done if you continued watching the handsome super soldier melt over a cat.

He lets out a tired sigh, "As good as it can be, I guess."

The exhaustion in his voice made you pause. You look away from your computer and clear your throat, "I know we're not...close, Bucky, but if you wanna talk or anything, I'm here."

"It's fine. Just...I'm kind of just getting tired of it all. I want to retire, but also I don't know what I'd do once I do. I-I feel like all I'm good for is fighting."

You can't help but scoff, "That's bullshit."

He looks at you with offense, "Excuse me?"

"Sorry, but that's not true at all. You're not just good for fighting. You're a sweet and helpful person, Bucky. I mean, hell, you've been coming here to help a lot more than your other colleagues. Sure, it's mainly to see Alpine, but you also help around too. I appreciate the effort you've been putting in. Also, considering everything you've gone through, I definitely think you deserve to retire. It's clearly taken a toll on you."

He groans, running a hand through his cropped hair in frustration, "I know, I know. I just-what the hell do I do once I retire?"

You shrug, "Figure it out. Travel, meet people, go do all the things you've always wanted to do."

Bucky just sits there, slumped in the chair, petting Alpine while he thinks.

He tries to think of what he wanted before he was shipped out to war. He wanted to marry, have kids, live a simple life.

Does he even deserve that after everything he's done?

He glances at you, and sees that you've gone back to working on your computer. He sits there in silence, watching you, mulling over what you said to him as well as he wants in life.

"Hm. Maybe it would be good to finally have some rest."

"Definitely good. Give your body and skin some rest. You're starting to look your actual age," you say with a smirk and it makes Bucky laugh.

"Fair enough," he grunts as he stands, Alpine in his arms, "While I'm here, need help with anything?"

You shake your head, "Go home and rest, Bucky," you give him a sincere smile.

He nods, placing Al onto your desk, "Yes, ma'am." Giving Alpine one last scratch behind the ear, he says his good-bye, "I'll see you both tomorrow, bright and early."

"We'll be here," you give him a wave and watch as he exits your office.

_____________________

Behind the veil, Dot watched your interaction with Bucky. You two have definitely gotten more comfortable with each other. And with Bucky opening up to you like that, Dot can only hope this means that Bucky is close to being ready to actually be in a relationship and live a happy, normal (as normal as it can be for him) life.

Her plan might actually be working now.

[lambilegs]

i'm very late to everything, but just wanted to see how you're doing. it seems a lot has happened recently and the past month/few weeks have been rough on you, haven't they?

seeing you juggle between this blog and ur personal life (+ academics) must be difficult :(( and running an account while writing as much quality content as possible to keep this small community alive is def overwhelming (ur efforts and works are deeply appreciated 🙏🏻). there's no denying how tough it is to be in ur position + how much pressure you may feel keeping the fandom alive as you ensure everyone feels included/heard.

i've so much to tell you but i'll bore you w my yapping. instead, i hope you're taking good care of yourself and are surrounded by love. you always care for ur readers/followers by catering to our asks and requests. that's why this time, i hope you're choosing ur happiness and what's best for you. pls take the time to heal and process everything in whatever healthy coping ways you prefer. also, know that we're so grateful to have you and this safe space you created. when life gets crappy, know we're always here for you pardner <33.

P.S. congrats on reaching 1k followers & coming out to ur dad! and have a blessed Ramadan!

btw, you look cute in your sweater & glasses rocking the lee harker bangs hehe

omg hiiiii you are such a sweetheart ahhhh ;-; no because why did the question at the end of the first paragraph have me on the brink of getting emotional DJFDKFJ -- not in a bad way ofc!! you're so kind, and I'm just in my feels because yeah, it's definitely been a few stressful months, both in terms of the blog and in my personal life.

thank you so much omg :( yeah, it definitely can be pressuring sometimes -- not because anyone is pressing me on anything, of course, but just because I do love this community so much, and I worry about losing it if I'm not posting. with the lee fans especially, since it's quite a small group of us so I worry if things will wane if I don't post, you know? I've definitely had that worry on my mind for a few days now, since my motivation has seriously depleted due to personal stuff and being busy with finals season. so, hearing this from you is so validating and kind, and it means so much to me that you appreciate it :")

NOOOOO omg please tell me everything's that's been on your mind! I'm so touched you have stuff you wanna share with me at all, I'd love to hear about it. and omggg, this entire paragraph is so fucking sweet :((( like, I'm seriously so touched rn by such kind and sweet words. I'm trying my best to look after myself, but it can get hard, since I'll go between doing no school work at all and then just getting so stressed about work that I neglect everything else KJSKDJS. and even then, I still struggle to keep up with it. but, I'm trying my best to look after myself and do things I enjoy. and my friends have helped a lot in that department, as well as people in this community, like you, who share such lovely sentiments. :") and I'm trying to let myself cry when I need to, feel pain when I need to, let it out through journalling, etc., so I don't end up stifling anything, you know? thank you so, so much for being so kind about the writing I do here and saying you're grateful for it and me as a writer :(( like, that seriously means the world to me. it can be easy to get in my head sometimes about if my writing or presence on here makes a difference, so words like this help so much and make me feel so happy.

omg thank you so much!! my dad was so funny lmaoooo he was a tad awkward about it, and he tends to avoid vulnerable talks, so I'm not surprised he didn't press on it, but I'm really glad he nows. and thank you so much! eid will hopefully be this upcoming sunday or monday, and my friend is doing my henna for it, and I'm SO excited.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THOUGH? :O like, truly, I wanna hear about what's been going on in your life, if you've been having any lee-related ideas you'd like to chat about, or just anything at all you'd like to share! like, I'm genuinely so glad to be hearing from you, and I'd love to hear about what's been doing on with you.

AHHHHH thank you so much hehe 👉🏽👈🏽 I just got them re-cut, and I'm lately starting to embrace having them more messy as opposed to getting stressed over how neat they are, so I really am channelling lee HAHA.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

What are your top 5-10 Thomastair headcanons?

Oh my God lmao I have SO many Thomastair headcanons. Not sure I can pick a top 10, but here are my 10 favourites. Some of them you may recognize as recurring things in my fic!

If you have read one of my best fics, this is one you'll recognize: film junkie Alastair. He's so interested in movies as an art form, and his interest and passion get Thomas into cinema, too. At the start of their relationship, they go to films around London, but they branch out pretty quickly. They go to places like New York, and Boston, and LA. Matthew even gets them into a Phantom of the Opera premiere in Paris and orchestrates a meeting between them and the director. It's something that Thomas and Alastair do together for their entire lives until they finally get a TV when they're 70 and in their little condo.

Thomas still retains his schoolboy diaries... and they are completely filled with, like, "La la la Alastair is so funny... and so amazing.... he spoke to me today..." etc. Alastair discovers this while they're moving and, with Thomas's consent, conducted a hilarious dramatic reading for just the two of them. To this day, he still does this sometimes, and it always makes them laugh.

Thomas and Alastair learn to cook all of each other's favourite meals. Usually Thomas makes breakfast and Alastair makes dinner, but sometimes they'll switch it up. Or they'll cook together. But yes I think that they learn all of the other one's favorite recipes and surprise the other one sometimes. I think that Thomas learns from Sona and Risa, and Alastair learns primarily from Eugenia.

Thomas scratches his nose when he feels awkward in social settings. It's a tell that no one notices besides Alastair, who is both observant and emotionally close to Thomas. He teases him about it excessively, but he also will use it as a cue and like, keep him comfortable when in group situations.

You'll be familiar with this one if you've ever read my smut. When Thomas and Alastair first started to get physical post-infirmary scene, Thomas was uncomfortable with speaking about sex and Alastair noticed. So he started using outdated sex euphemisms to get him to feel comfortable and laugh with him so he can feel safe talking about it. And it WORKED. Over time, though, after a couple of months, Thomas became more naturally comfortable and confident. But the euphemisms stayed. And they made it a game to one-up each other in weirdness and entertainment value of the antiquated terms. And then it became "no matter what we are currently doing, pause and guess the year the term is from." It's like this huge private inside joke for them that's intimate and hilarious.

Thomas and Alastair are both extremely close to Zachary. When Zachary is a young child, he genuinely believes that both Thomas and Alastair are his dads. Sona has to correct him, and he is floored.

One of Thomas's biggest flaws is that he's super petty. Like, if Alastair does something minorly annoying, he will passive-aggressively hint to it. I wrote a fic where Alastair accidentally eats his truffles so he decided to get back at him by putting some of his things too high for him to reach around the house. But he's also just as ridiculously doting. Like. He goes to replace his truffles and also brings Alastair a second box because he loves him

I think one of the best things about Thomastair is that they're always like. Teammates. Even when they're upset with each other, it's like, they will support each other through anything. It is a kind of love you don't see very often. I feel like the ONLY other time I've seen this is with Herondaisy, but yeah.

This is totally canon, but they're the capital-C PDA Couple. I love this about them. Booo. Get a room.

Eventually, when they're in their late 50s, Thomas and Alastair retire to Paris together. They get a condo high above the Champs Elysees and fill it with books and artwork, and there's a passage from their room to their roof so they can go up and look at the stars.

[a-b-riddle]

Pen Pals Chapter Two: Confessions

We never really spoke over the phone that much after that. We still messaged constantly through text or via messenger. C made honest on his promise of financially supporting me. It was more money than I knew what to do with to be honest. I was constantly asking him what to do with it. I mentioned I had no furniture.

Why don't you get some? You should have more than enough in your account by now.

Can I?

Of course. You don't have to ask permission before making a big purchase, sweetheart.

Okay. Do you mind if I send you some pics? I've never had to buy furniture and I would like your opinion.

Of course. 

With that I went to work. I ordered most of my things from Ikea, but the one thing I got, which was stupid, but something I always wanted was a velvet chesterfield sofa. I sent C a couple of color options and asked which one he liked.

Blue. It's my favorite color and goes with just about anything.

So I ordered it. It came almost a week later and was the last thing I needed to really make my apartment feel like home. 

It looks good. Good job, gorgeous. 

I felt so proud of his approval. I did feel guilty about spending so much money on a couch, but he liked it and he was paying the bill for it.

A few months passed before I finally got the interview for Stark Industries lined up and C was less than pleased about it. 

It has nothing to do with your area of study. The whole point of me taking care of you was so that you could wait out a position at a university.

I understand that, but it's been months and it doesn't look like things are going to open up in time for me to start teaching in the fall. 

You're back tracking. I don't think you should just give up and settle on whatever job you can get. 

For some reason that struck a nerve. I wasn't giving up, but things happen. The entire world has been put on pause and who knows when life would return to normal. 

Nowhere is hiring and I need a job. I have been cooped up in this apartment for months and I can't take it anymore. At this point I don't care if it's in retail. My mental health can't take being alone and inside like this anymore. The only social interaction I get is either talking to you or going to the grocery story. I have been in the city for months and I haven't made a single friend. I understand your concern, but it's not your decision to make. I will eventually get there, but this is something I want to do. I appreciate all of your help, but as I said, it's not your decision to make.

I turned the messenger offline.

A few days had passed with nothing from C. However, when Friday rolled around, money was still deposited into my account. Maybe it was automated and it accidentally posted. This had been the longest we went without communicating since the start of our little arrangement. 

After a few glasses of liquid courage, I called him. It was late in the evening, way past my normal bedtime, but I wanted to talk to him. At least to let him know about the deposit.

"Hello?" He answered. His voice was scratchy and slow.

"What are you doing?" I asked stupidly.

"I am trying to sleep considering it is nearly 2 A.M." I heard him groan. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted you to know the money got posted to my account." I swallowed. "I was wondering if you had venmo or something and I could send it back.

"Why would I want you to send it back?"

"Because I got a job and you don't approve."

"You don't have the job yet, you have an interview." He corrected.

"And because I don't think I was nice."

"Nice?"

"With how I spoke to you. Or 'typed' I guess." I huffed and laid down on the couch. "I shouldn't have caught an attitude like that. I'm sorry. You've been a saving grace these last few months and I really appreciate everything you've done for me." I finished off the glass of sweet moscato.

"It's okay." He reassured me. "I understand you probably are sick of staying inside, but I just want you to be safe and not settle." God, how was he so perfect?

"I got to thinking." I felt warmth of the wine start to get to my cheeks. "You know, we have been friends for like five years and I have no clue what you like and you know what I look like and you know I like you? Isn't that stupid? Like I have no clue what you look like and I like a stranger I've never met."

"You sound drunk." He chuckled. 

"I've had a couple of glasses of wine," I admitted. "But I'm not just saying that because I've had a few glasses of wine. And like I'm kind of glad I haven't seen you. I mean you're this person I can't even envision and you know that now you know where I live and I don't know."

"What are you trying to say? That it makes you uncomfortable that I know your address?"

"No, it's like..." The words embarrassed me as they came out of my mouth. "I don't want to say like aroused, but.. I don't know." I fell against the bed. "It's something that I think about sometimes." He was quiet and I felt like I had said something wrong. "I'm sorry that was too much. I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry, go back to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that I hung up the phone. 

That was too much. Oh my god why did I say that? Did I seriously just tell him I thought it was hot that I didn't know what he looked like? Shit shit shit.

I got up and put my empty glass of wine in the sink, promising to unload the dishwasher when I didn't feel so lightheaded.

Suddenly, from across the room, my phone began to ring. It was him.

"Tell me what exactly you think about, Princess."

[clanes]

Sorry, taking about weirdo probably tmi and NSFW shit

Ever since starting HRT, my body has gotten a lot more sensitive. That's not surprising, that's something I was told would happen.

What's really surprising, is how much my reaction to pain has changed.

I always had a good pain tolerance. 3 notable examples are that back in highschool, there was this girl in the hallway biting her friend, she saw me walk by kinda staring, and she sorta egged me on to see if I could handle it myself.

I said fuck it, and sat down next to her and gave her my arm that she proceeded to put her whole force into. After a while, she just sorta looked up with a kind of concerned look on her face, and her friend was shocked because he wasn't able to handle it himself. The bite mark lasted on my arm for a few days with how deep it was.

Second was back when I was working at an earls, and a coworker accidentally bumped into me while she was carrying a bucket of deep fryer oil; spilling it on my hand. She went pale and froze up, and I just sorta stared at it. Enough time passed that she composed herself and asked if I was alright, and I just said like a dumb ass "oh yeah, I've had worse" but we just kept staring as my skin just sorta dissolved. It wasn't until my manager came around the corner, immediately caught on to what was happening, and yelled at me to wash the oil off. The scar for that has mostly disappeared, but I get blisters very rarely on that hand out of nowhere.

And third, I went on a tinder date with this cute alt person. She talked to me.about how she'd love to become a tattoo artist. And so me being the kind of person who always wants to impress people I like, offered to become a canvas for her. Starting with s just a stick n poke. I paid for supplies, bought her lunch, and we went out into an open field, and she tattoo'd the moth I have on my back. When she finished, I asked her if I was moving around too much, and she said it was like "drawing on a corpse" which inflated my ego a bunch. It's not like this was my first tattoo or anything, but I was nervous because it was a girl I liked.

But nowadays, since I started HRT, I do get more pain sensations, and it sometimes catches me off-guard. It's mostly just like a recoil, rather than a pain response,especislly with sharp sudden pain. But it's not entirely unpleasant.

I started imagining scenarios and just completely getting flustered with it.

Lately I've been getting more and more urges. There was a bit where I wanted to self harm a bit during a mood swing, but I hard cut myself off from that. Fridge was broken so I couldn't grab a piece of ice and just press that on myself. So I just sorta kept scratching at myself with my nails.

The other day, with my fridge finally fixed, I grabbed an ice cube and held onto that in my palm for a couple of minutes. And the sensation of warming my hand up passively after holding onto it was super nice.

And it culminated in a moment of unfettered girl horny yesterday where I grazed a razor over my flank. And it like- didn't feel awful. It was about at the time I reblogged the #openwound shit-post from myself. And just seeing the blood pool up and bubble in certain parts of the cut did some shit to me, and I couldn't help but stare at it.

That is all to say that wow. I think I'm fully in on being a shitty little blood freak. I told my wife, and she's absolutely not into it because they don't wanna see me hurt. But at the very least, she's encouraging me to experiment with other people as long as I do it safe.

I wanna take a picture. But it was just about like maybe an inch and a bit long. Nothing to write home about. I dunno, I doubt anyone wants to see it. But I'll do it if someone asks because I feel like I'd have an obligation.

[mallowninja]

good lord i'm venting on tumblr again

i moved apartments a month ago, on 3/15. i found roaches in the kitchen the same night, and i'm talking multiple, 5+, not just a single bug and then we move on. it has been a problem since that day. i have not yet gone a full week without seeing a roach. i've had the pest control leased by management in to spray on average once a week since i moved in and they are still present. (they made a special trip the following tuesday but missed one of their regular weekly visits because i somehow fell off the list of units when they changed companies. because of course.) I tried to ask the management to have the apartment fumigated, even just the kitchen if that's possible, and they promised they would

and then the pest control guy came for a bigger spray than the usual maintenance spray, because they never actually paid the pest control guy or arranged anything for an actual fumigation

as far as i understand between talking to maintenance employees and talking to pest control folks when they've been here they knew the apartment had pest problems. nearly every appliance in the kitchen has been replaced save the fridge, and they've sealed up most of the baseboards and available cabinet seams against the walls that don't require tearing anything down, and i am still having roach problems. i can't cook without worrying about finding pests. i feel like i have to spray everything down with pinesol at least every other time i use my kitchen to any degree in order to be safe from anything that cockroaches can transmit. i'm not sleeping as well as i usually do. i'm having weird dreams and i'm stressed out all the fucking time.

it fucking sucks and i'm so upset and frustrated and tired. i want to go to the office and yell at them

because oh yeah. they changed corporate owners like 2 weeks after i moved. i know that's a coincidence but it means i can't even completely deal with a known entity now, because the new owners aren't local (of course they aren't) and even moreso than usual i can't trust them to actually give a shit about any individual tenant.

i've been renting from this complex for eleven fucking years. not a single month of late payments. i made the move to a 2bed apartment for more space and agreed to a different unit than what i leased to begin with because of a snafu with the original tenant (won't get into that because it's their business and not mine). and i feel like i've been punished for it. and for what? for not being a bitch and demanding the original place? for not thinking to ask "hey did you do any pest checks in the unit after hours so you can make sure nothing pops up at night?" for actually moving into a larger apartment in the first place?

i want to be hopeful that this can get resolved but it's past 9p me and i can't believe it and i'm sick and tired of waiting and seeing and hoping for it to actually work this time. and if it doesn't i either have to live with this until june next year (no) or i have to break the lease and move elsewhere (expensive). and the idea of packing my entire apartment AGAIN makes me want to scream, especially because i would have to pay for a moving company and take MORE time off work to organize and unpack and it's happening because someone didn't do their due fucking diligence to resolve a cockroach infestation

anyway that's all. i'm very fucking tired and upset and i'm going to play slay the spire until i pass out and go back to work because i have to earn a paycheck. byyyyyyeeee

if anyone reblogs this i'm deleting the post and not looking back

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Commitment

Sabrina and Juno had to pack up earlier than the rest of the family because they had to get him to his dad's before it got too late. As has become normal, the two sit for a moment to chat.

Marquise: I didn't think it would quite be this hard to get back out on the dating scene. Everyone has so many hangups.

Sabrina: It's not easy getting back out there, especially when you know what you're looking for and aren't willing to compromise.

Marquise: I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me just as much. No more pining, unrequited love. Someone ready to commit.

Sabrina: Don't lose hope. It hasn't been that long yet. These things take time. And like I said, I can be your wingsim! Just send your dating profile to me and I'll see what I can do to really sell you.

Marquise: Think I'll take you up on that. Thanks Sabrina.

Sabrina: Hey, what are friends for? Now, I better get ready to head out.

Marquise: Headed home for the night?

Sabrina: Actually, I'm going to Beau's. He just got a new spot and wanted to have a cozy housewarming date.

Marquise: Oh, that's great. Well, don't let me hold you up. Enjoy your evening.

Sabrina: Thanks. And I'm serious, send over your profile and I'll have a look at it.

Marquise: Will do.

Soon after, Sabrina arrives at Beau's new place. It's definitely a major upgrade from the simple college bachelor pad Beau lived in for all these years, even post-grad for quite some time.

Beau: I heard the landlord was thinking of selling the place and that the entire building would be torn down and rebuilt. Something about making it more "college-friendly" or something like that.

Sabrina: About time. That place was an eyesore. I don't know who the original architect was but they obviously were a student themselves.

They both laugh.

Beau: That, I have to agree with you on. Just glad I finally earned enough money to move. It was time for a change in scenery. That place held many memories, don't get me wrong, but it was time to start making memories somewhere else.

Sabrina: Well I'd say this is a pretty nice place to start doing that in. You did a good job making this place your own.

Beau: Well having you as my first guest is an honor I don't take lightly. I hope you can feel at home here.

Sabrina: Trust me, I feel very at home.

Beau: Oh, is that so?

Sabrina: Mhm. So why don't you show me around the place a little bit more?

Beau: I can do that. Let's finish up here and I'll give you a tour.

Once the two have finished their meal, Beau cleans up the dishes, which gives Sabrina a moment to themselves. They walk around the living room space and find themselves in front of Beau's copy of their little family picture. Seeing this photo on the wall shows Sabrina that Beau is really serious about them and Juno, and that he wants them to feel like this is a safe space for both of them to be in. It's a sentiment that could almost bring tears to Sabrina's eyes.

The thought is interrupted before they get to that point, however.

Beau: Hey, ready for that tour?

Beau: This is the master. Not humongous but it's cozy.

Sabrina: Anything's an upgrade from that last place. This is really nice Beau. Look at you, you even have a little desk to get work done in here!

Beau: Well I needed some sort of office space. This place doesn't have a lot of extra room so I wanted to maximize the space I do have as much as possible.

Sabrina: Isn't this a two-bedroom apartment, though?

Beau: Yeah, come on and I'll show you.

Beau then guides Sabrina into the second bedroom space.

Sabrina: Very pink.

Beau: Yeah, I think it was a nursery for the last tenants. It's empty right now, as you can see.

Sabrina: Yeah. So you didn't want to make this into your office? It's a nice size, I'm sure you could do a lot in here.

Beau turns to face Sabrina.

Beau: I know, this place has so much potential. I was thinking it can be another bedroom with time. For Juno.

The statement catches Sabrina off-guard just a little.

Sabrina: O-oh?

Beau: Yeah! This is ample space for a growing boy! Could be just what he needs as time progresses. Of course, he may need to share if we ever decide to have a kid ourselves.

That statement takes Sabrina even more by surprise.

Sabrina: Y-you're thinking about starting a family together?

Beau: Well nothing set in stone of course. We haven't had a chance to discuss that yet. I just wanted to think about these things ahead of time. That's why I chose this apartment.

Sabrina: Beau...

Beau can sense he may have put too much on Sabrina all at once, so before they have time to retreat into themselves he grabs their hands.

Beau: Sabrina, I don't want you to feel any pressure at all. This room is empty because I want to give the future a chance to shape it. Whether Juno uses it exclusively, or he has to share with a little sibling, or if it ends up being an office after all, I just want to allow us to decide on that together. This is just my way of showing you I'm serious about us. I'm serious about the family we can become. I love you and Juno and want to be there for both of you. I know he has a dad and I have no intentions of overstepping, but I want him to know this is a safe space for him as well.

Sabrina takes a deep breath.

Sabrina: Beau, you know I've never had a father. It's always been just me and my mom. I mean, my cousins and their dad were there, but it was different.

Beau: I understand-

Sabrina: -Please, let me finish. I say all this to say that I never wanted Juno to feel like he was missing something. He's so lucky to have three men who have been willing to step up in his life, one of them being you. I know Juno loves you, and he sees you as important just as he sees his father. And I love you too.

Beau smiles warmly.

Beau: You don't have to make any decisions right now. This is still new, and I want to honor the pace you want to move at. I just want you to know this is always here. For both of you.

Sabrina: I appreciate that, Beau. Really, I do.

Beau: Then that's all I need to hear.

[tonberry-yoda]

Leon fluff alphabet please?

Leon Fluff Alphabet

notes - THE WAY I LOST MY MIND WHEN I SAW THIS ASK OMFG I couldn't wait to write this frfr. I love Leon with my entire heart and soul and I am so happy that the first thing I get to write for him is a fluff alphabet. These really help me get a sense of the character so I am more than happy to write this for you <3 Have a great day anon and stay super duper hydrated!!!

based on this post

(I couldn't resist this gif tee hee)

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

This poor guy is constantly so stressed out, so I think that he would love to just sit at home with you. He likes to talk and not talk so a lot of like silence and then super deep conversations lol. He also loves to cuddle and no one can change my mind. If you are big spoon I promise he will love you forever <3 But yeah, he mostly prefers to stay at home and just chill with you. That or hang out in empty parking lots eating fast food

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your laugh <3 When this man makes you laugh, he gets WAY TO FLUSTERED OMFG Like he is blushing the moment you giggle at one of his stupid jokes. Overall, he just loves your smile. He wants to see you smile every day if he can make that happen :)

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He is VERY used to having panic attacks, so he definitely knows how to deal with them. If you're comfortable with it, he will just start with small touches letting him know that he is there for you and won't let you go. He will bring you some nice cold water and press small kisses on your forehead. Once you've calmed down a little bit and if you're comfortable with it, he will hold you in his arms and whisper that he is here if you need anything

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Quiet. He wants a happy quiet life more than anything. No fear, no zombies, no Umbrella, just quiet. He wants to have a worry free life where he doesn't have nightmares and doesn't panic over whether you're safe or not. He just wants to be with you forever holding you in his arms and taking late night walks on the beach with a smile on both of your faces

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He thinks he's the dominant one, but you have to stand in front of him at McDonald's explianing why he wants a Happy Meal.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He hates fighting so much. He had to do it all the time with zombies, but with you??? The love of his life??? He hates it. So, it doesn't happen often. But when it does, he will calm himself down and ask if he can fix anything. He will immediately forgive you and apologize and get to the root of the problem so it doesn't happen again

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

You are his safe space. You are one of the few things that helps this man get up in the morning in this cruel world. He loves you more than anything and is so so so aware of what you do for him. He thanks you every day and would do anything for you

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Nope. I really don't think he would hide anything. You already know about his line of work and the shit he's had to deal with, so he doesn't need to hide anything from you. Maybe though that he had the las plagas though if you didn't know. He didn't want you worrying about him. Okay, so yeah, he would hide injuries and stuff so you don't worry about him, but other than that he is an open book

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You made him a lot less stressed. He is more willing to take a breather when you're around. For you, he taught you how to shoot a gun and protect yourself. But both of you have been here to support each other through the bullshit you both had to see.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

A little??? I mean.... I don't know. I don't know many characters in RE, but maybe if you're around Chris he might get jealous. Or Wesker. Because Wesker is hot. But like... he knows how loyal you are, so he never really sees you leaving him, but something in his soul sometimes says that he isn't good enough for you :(

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN'S LIPS SWEET CHRIST. Well, you got me started, so that's on you. *AHEM* This man has the SOFTEST lips in the whole wide world omfg. Like dear lord. He also tastes like mint and always ALWAYS smiles into the kiss like it's making him the happiest man on earth. He also always kisses you like he's desperate for it. Like pushes into the kiss and will most of the time knock you either to the ground or onto a nearby couch/bed tee hee The first kiss though omg You were both super stressed in Raccoon City and saw each other after a long time. You both thought the other was dead, so when you saw each other the adrenaline that filled you up made you run up to each other and kiss just out of no where. You didn't even apologize either. After pulling away for a second and blushing, you were both right back to kissing

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He would just tell you I think. Especially after the kiss. He became the rizzler because of you

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes, I totally think he would. At first, he was scared, so he didn't ask you for YEARS, but when he finally did, he just proposed to you at home and you two got eloped. You didn't want a big wedding or anything, so you took the simple route &lt;3

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

I think his go to is 'sweetheart', but other than that he just calls you by your name

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Can't stop thinking about you. He also won't stop reminding you that he loves you. To others though? Not obvious at all. To you? You can see those goo goo eyes from miles away

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

I don't think he minds PDA. It's not like he's just going to kiss you in public, but if he does, it's no big deal! He will definitely mention you to others when he can, but only if it comes up. He won't brag about you really, it's not his thing. But again, he won't just like kiss you in front of a crowd, he actually gets flustered if you do lol

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Honesty and the ability to tell you that he loves you. He is really good with his words I think and really thinks through what he is going to say to you and always says the best thing possible &lt;3

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He can be pretty cliche lol. I think he's a hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to be with you, so he will do really stupid romantic stuff like kiss in the moonlight or take you to a nice dinner

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Probably the most supportive boyfriend you'll ever meet. Will be cheering you on and helping you as much as he can :)

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Nope. Y'all have had a lot of thrill in the relationship with zombies and all so now you just stick to a nice quiet routine. It makes you both so happy that you can live like this after what had happened.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Because of how much you two have been through, he knows you better than most people. He has seen you at both your weakest and strongest points, so he will know when something is up and will immediately jump to help however he can

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

You mean the absolute world to this man. You're all he has left that makes him smile and he would do anything to protect you. Honestly, he doesn't know if he could live without you

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

This man loves sleeping I think and when he falls asleep next to you, he needs to be touching you whether that's holding your hand or cuddling you. Warning though, he will drool all over your shoulder ajsdasjh

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

VERY AFFECTIONATE! Loves cuddling and kissing all over you. Like nothing makes him smile more than knowing that you two will be able to kiss and cuddle after a long day of work. It makes him all giddy lolol

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He'll feel super empty. He can't stop thinking about you. To the point that sometimes brings him to tears. He needs you by his side and if you're gone for too long, he will get a lot of anxiety and panic

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He needs to protect you at all costs. Because of this, he will literally kill for you. He loves you more than anything and will help you no matter the cost. Anything to keep you in his life &lt;3

~~~~~

resident evil masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[cdarkheartzero]

Diary of a Security Guard

For the always wonderful Rissy @rissynicole who I promised this to for being just...amazing.

Prequel found here-

https://cdarkheartzara.tumblr.com/post/622506786343288833

Data log entry 6555

Been watching Zim battle his PAK for a few (days) now. It has been SO mentally exhausting just to see, let alone experience. But that determination to get his PAK legs working. Imma be honest, it’s downright inspiring seeing him spaz, spark and struggle just to get back up n’ try it again once he catches his breath.

He even got Skoodge trying to activate his- few of the other smeets too, actually. I can’t tell whether he knows it or not (he’s pretty oblivious to the world around him so I doubt it), but he has a lot of fans among the youngins. They might find him annoying (cuz let’s be honest here, he is) but he has this unique…. charm(?) to him. Little bastard just doesn’t know when ta quit.

I can see the stress and strain of his struggles are starting to get to him though. He just hasn’t been himself lately. Physically Exhausted. Less destructive (again- lemme be honest- I AM ALL FOR but under normal circumstances). Hasn’t been doing much eating or sleeping. He’s just so fixated on this that it’s basically taken over his entire life. Can’t tell you how many times I have found him in the incubation room the past few shifts, tryin’ so damn hard to stand on his legs he basically passes out.

The smeets should be sleeping now. It’s pretty late and I see all the other guards settling into their seats relaxin’. Now’s the time to piss around, the break we all deserve. Alas, I can’t get that little shit outta my head. The pain on his face. The dedication and exhaustion in his eyes. It’s been burned into my organic brain ever since I had to stun him the first time. I don’t think I have ever been that scared before. I thought… I thought I could have killed him. That he wouldn’t be there the next morning. That this little ball of chaos would be erased from my life. And it was worse than anything I coulda imagined.

I wanna do something for him. I know I shouldn’t. ‘Specially after all the shit he puts me through. And I really shouldn’t play favoritisms but I dunno. There is just something about Zim.

Now, don’t get me wrong. He drives me crazy. He’s a little demon spawn. A selfish little piece of shit. More than once have I seen him sacrifice a playmate to make a quick escape or use poor Skoodge as a flesh shield. His bomb gifts haunt me very soul- I swear I hear them ticking in the walls relentlessly, taunting me. But he brings me such a calming ease. It’s so weird. Like… I wanna ring his neck sometimes but just having his little body in my arms brings me such warmth. His voice makes me want to slam my face against a wall but I honestly can’t fathom it not being there. I just want to be there for him. And do everything in my power to make him as happy as I can.

What did he do to me?

Ugh. I’m pulling my lekku out at my desk. Think, Zara. Think. There’s gotta be something I can do. I’m mindlessly fumbling through my clutter, still rackin’ my brain around what to do next. Suddenly, a sweet scent fills the air and I realize I opened my candy drawer.

Hmmmm…. it’s not much but it’s the thought that counts.

I look over to Kira and tell her imma need to take 5. “Candy break?” She asks, watching me sneak a few pieces away. “Something like that” I reply.

Walking down the hallway to the smeetery felt like an eternity. What do I say? How will he respond? Lord, what if he wakes the other smeets and I gotta clear out my whole snack stash to not upset the others? What if he cries? If his PAK spazes out again, what if I have to shock him again? What if I fail my mission? What will the control brains do to me? what if… what if I have to kill him? How would I live with myself if I...hurt my smeet? Shit. I gotta stop doing that. He’s not MY smeet. He belongs to Irk. I’m just a guardian, nothing more. But… I never want him to leave my side. But he also has a job to do! For Irk! I hope he never becomes an invader. Keep him here, where it’s safe. Maybe the science division or something… hmmmmm.”

“Uhhh…” I hear next to me, a random voice sounding concerned. It breaks my concentration and I see another guard, head slightly tilted, staring at me. “You good, man?”

Oh! Seems I have been standing at the door for some time. I laughed. “Yeah. Sorry. Just got a lot on my mind.”

“It’s cool” she smiled “just don’t let the higher ups catch you wandering around aimlessly.”

“I appreciate it. Thanks!” I said waving as she went about her way. “Higher ups?” Yeah. Not a whole lot of fear there. Nothing can be worse than what we’ve already experienced.

The door opened, inviting me to the darkness of the smeetery. Was it always so cold in here? The only light shines from a few wires and screens on the walls but other than that, it’s pretty pitch black. A totally different feel to the liveliness of the early shift when spirits are high and bodies are active. Luckily, our vision is enhanced in our tubes, far before we go online so nighttime is never an issue for us.

I creep over to the nesting area, where all the little bodies are snoozing (or snoring in Skoodge’s case) and see those ruby eyes staring at the ceiling. I notice his antenna perk and he looks my direction, instantly making a face of aggression.

“What?”

That the hell kinda greeting is that? Little rude shit. I wanna smack him outside his little skull but I take a deep breath and calmly whisper. “Ain’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I’m your guard. It IS my business. Why ain’t you asleep?”

“I’m not tired.”

“Something bothering you?”

“No.”

I can see it written all over his face in glow in the dark paint. “Ah-ha. You really are a bad liar. Is it cuz your legs?”

“NO.” He turned to face away from me.

“Hey. Listen: you’re going to get it. I know you will.”

“But how come Tak could so easily? All mine do is attack me.”

“Just because she got it faster than you, that doesn’t make her better than you.”

“Zim never claimed it did.”

He’s hurt. His words and his feelings are battling against each other. Tak being able to activate her PAK legs without any difficulties was eating him alive but he would never admit it.

“Listen… Zim. It’s going to get easier. You just gotta keep at it. Small steps get you far in life.”

He shrugged, sitting up, curling into himself. “Zim wonders about that sometimes. Maybe… he isn’t meant to get it.”

There it is. “Of course you are.” I said, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. “I believe in you. You are going to find a way. You never give up. I don’t think you know how.”

He looked my way, eyes wide and glassy. SHIT. Imma make him cry!? I didn’t mean to!

“You… you do?”

Huh?

“Of course I believe in you, dummy. And I will be here every step of the way. I got you.” I said, grazing my thumb across his cheek. A smile took the place of that awful frown and his eyes lit. “Here. I got you a little something, but only if you try to get some sleep. You got a long day of training with your PAK and you need all the rest you can get. Oh, and don’t let anyone know I did this.” I said putting my finger to my lips.

I reached into a belt pocket and grabbed a wrapped hard candy. With two fingers I held it in front of him, he looked at it inquisitively. His grubby little hands reached for it and I let him grab it. He stared at it, slowly unwrapping it and Then glanced back at me. I guess he didn’t trust it.

“It’s not drugged or nuthin’. Just some sweets.”

Again, he stared at me.

“What?”

“Your accent is really weird.”

“Just eat the damn candy and shut up” I said, pushing the sweet into his mouth. He just huffed but suckled on.

“Now DON'T cause anymore problems and get some shut eye. I will see you bright n’ early.”

He just puffed his cheeks and rolled over. Think I handled that well. And maybe, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for him.

Smiled and waved on my way out. Dunno if he saw me but it doesn’t hurt. Walked into the hallway, into dread. Leaned against the wall and slid down.

Us E.L.I.T.E.S can’t disobey orders from the Control brains but… I pray with everything I have in me that things stay like this forever. Cuz’ if i ever had my mission changed or if I had to hurt him… idunno what I would do.

Zara out

[naivesilver]

I swear it took me Libby to notice it was a prompt (so dumb, so sorry Sere). Mind if I play too with the one-word-prompt? I was thinking áoyè or aswium. Eheheh curious to see what you’ll conjure dearest writer ;) Lots and lots of hugs♥️ Jojo

TO BE FAIR it's a very ambiguous post so I wouldn't worry too much about not noticing outright 💞 and thank you, I will do my best or worst, depending on your point of view

One Word Prompts

aswium // 아쉬움 (korean, n.) - the mingled feeling of disappointment, frustration, and regret that results from an unsatisfactory situation

(Sssssh don't @ me I'm still hyperfixating on my own AU okay I'm not hurting anybody)

Thankfully, some of the tension in Emma's body unwinds the moment she steps into her parents' house.

She doesn't often take advantage of the spare key they've given her, and it's not as if their place were always a safe haven, either, but there are times where she'd rather put up with some fussing than be alone, and tonight feels like one of those nights. It's unbearably hot outside, courtesy of a summer that is turning the entire town into a tropical greenhouse, but her parents' living room is invitingly cool, and she allows herself a small sigh of relief as the AC works its magic on her.

Her father coming to greet her is a welcome sight, too, and he kisses her on the cheek with a small smile. "Hey there."

"Hey. Where's mom?"

"She'll be home in a bit." He scrutinizes her intently, his expression faltering. "Long day?"

"You could say that." Emma rubs a hand down her face, exhaling deeply. "I had to put my hands on an old man with a taste for little girls. Not exactly the most pleasant of activities."

The look in her father's eyes softens, and he wraps his arm around her shoulders, squeezing gently. "You alright?"

She nods, leaning into his embrace. It's hard, sometimes, to look at his unlined face and remember who he is, but at least he’s got a good hand at comforting others. "I'll be after I've taken a shower. I know we've been in some nasty places, but guys like these always manage to make me feel worse."

"Who called you?"

"One of his old victims. A friend of Pinocchio - he brought her to the station, and then I called some of the names she's mentioned, found a couple witnesses for her story. He won't be going anywhere near a child anytime soon."

"Tough kid, that one."

"Yeah. Without her, I wouldn't even have known he was in town. Or that he'd done anything, for that matter. "

She doesn't sound half as enthusiastic as she's trying to be, and David frowns, inclining his head to better look at her. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy you got him before it was too late."

"I am. But..."

"But?"

Emma sighs again, shaking her head. "I just heard a new piece of the story. This guy, someone had a go at his car. Slashed tires, all the usual stuff. I think they smeared it with something filthy, too, I don't know. A total wreck."

"And? Must have been someone who heard what he'd been doing. I know I shouldn’t approve of taking matters in one's own hands, but he definitely had it coming."

"It happened before his name came out. And from what I could gather, there's no one around who could remember who he was before. No friends, no family - no enemies, either, from the looks of it. He's a nobody, or at least he was until yesterday."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. So either he did it himself, to get insurance money, or-"

"Or the girl a hand in it."

"Her, or Pinocchio and the rest of her little friends." She massages the bridge of her nose, feeling some of the stress start to creep back in. "I've seen too much of them for my liking, and let me tell you, you'd have a hard time getting them one at a time. Hell, you'd think they come in packs, from the way they go around. I think they roped in Hank Zimmer's twins too - from what I heard, he didn’t so much as tow that car away when he got called in. It’s probably still right where they left it."

"A team effort, eh? Resourceful kids, aren't they?"

“Yeah. Very good at dragging me into their messes, they are. Now I don’t know if I should congratulate them or give them a lecture.”

David hums thoughtfully, rubbing her arm with the pad of his thumb. “Have you tried asking them who did it?”

Emma scoffs, the corner of her lips curling upwards despite her efforts to conceal it. “Pinocchio’ll take the blame for world hunger before he accuses his friends of anything, and that girl, Twinkle - she’s just been through a lot, I’m not going to interrogate her about something as stupid as this. And even if it was one of the others, how can I keep a straight face while asking those questions? I can’t blame them for pulling a stunt like that. It’s just...The sheriff’s not supposed to say it aloud, is she?”

“You’re fond of those kids.”

It’s not a question. It’s an affirmation, and a fundamentally correct one, too, to her dismay. Most of those boys and girls don’t nearly get in trouble enough for her to see them too often - save for Lampwick, but Lampwick’s the exception rather than the rule, as per usual - but sometimes she feels as though they were as stable a fixture in town as people like Granny or Archie, running around and wrecking havoc and showing up at the worst possible time with mischievous grins on their angelic little faces.

She likes them, that’s the problem at hand. She likes them and she respects them, for being brave enough to expose themselves like that. She doubts she’d have had the same gall, at their age, and she was hardly a quiet, unobtrusive girl herself, as her mother would probably attest to.

“Yeah,” she says, finally. “Yeah, I am. I just wish their best calls weren’t always acts of vandalism.”

Her father chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Well, you don’t have to trouble yourself about it just yet. Nobody’s asking you to bring those kids to task, and that man’s locked away now. I doubt he’ll be going around filing reports if he’s not done it yet, and from what you’re saying he’s got no one on his side to do it for him, and even if it happens, you’ll cross that bridge when you get there. And I’ll make sure to buy them all a round of beer myself, once they’re old enough to drink, so you won’t have to get your hands dirty.”

He lets go of her, then, only to link his arm in hers and lead her towards the kitchen.

“Now, let’s get you something to drink. You look like you need it, and I’d hate for your mother to see you with that long face when she gets home.”

[savoies]

Miscommunications - Nolan Patrick.

Nolan Patrick x Reader.

Summary: Nolan is feeling a little insecure and he starts to ignore his girlfriend but then they talk it out and it turns out to be just a miscommunication.

Word count : 1143 ( wow im proud) 

Warning: like one bad word.

Nolan was currently on the road to Colorado. The Philadelphia Flyers were going to play against the Colorado Avalanche in about two days. Y/n was currently at home in Philly texting Nolan to text her when he got to Colorado. Y/n and Nolan had been dating for about a year and while y/n was more emotional and Nolan keeped his feelings bottled in, they made it work. She decided just to work on some homework and then go to bed afterwards since it was pretty late when Nolan left for his long road trip of a day.

Nolan had arrived in Colorado a few hours ago and was currently practicing making some goals into the net with Hartsy blocking most of them. Nolan had been off of his game and Tk noticed but didn't mention anything because his best friend wasn't one to talk about his feelings. The game was starting in thirty minutes and warm ups had started. Y/n was back home wearing his number 19 jersey getting prepared for the game to start. She knew Nolan had arrived safely because Tk usually posted stories of the arena they were going to play at. She just decided to send him a good luck text since he didn't text her earlier of his arrival but she didn't want to seem like a mom.

The game ended as the waves of orange were seen through the crowd jumping up and down. The flyers had won against the avalanche and they were pretty damn proud. Nolan walked into the locker room to get changed and when he saw that he had a new text from his girlfriend. He left it on read as he did the other one he received upon his arrival. It wasn't that he was trying to ignore her; he just sometimes got these thoughts into his mind that he wasn't good enough for her. I mean she had a bachelors degree, was studying to get her masters, and she was the most determined person he had ever met. He was just a hockey player. He knew that if he ever got a serious injury his entire career would end. But y/n had her whole life in front of her. Before more of these thoughts could enter his mind Travis walked in and told him they were gonna go out for celebratory drinks. He thought that maybe a couple of those would blur his mind and he would forget about these thoughts. So he got dressed and headed out with the rest of his team mates. 

Y/n watched as the flyers won and jumped up and down as Kevin Hayes made the winning goal. She texted her boyfriend: congrats you did amazing and then call me when you can. Y/n saw the guys stories and saw they went out to get some drinks. She waited about thirty minutes but didn't get a response from her boyfriend. She decided to stop because she didn't want to seem clingy and she decided calling Teeks was a better option. The phone rang about four times when the caller on the other end finally picked up. “Hey Y/n whats up.”

“Hey Tk just calling to congratulate you guys on the win and wondering if I can talk to nols.” the girl said hopeful yet a bit nervous cause it seemed as though her boyfriend was ignoring her. There was shuffling on tks side of the line and then she could hear him shouting “hey pat your girl wants to talk to you.”

“Tell her I'm busy” the 21 year old centerman yelled back. In that moment y/n got enough classification and her heart broke a little. “Hey y/n he’s--...”

“I heard teeks thanks.” the girl said, trying not to cry. She decided to just watch netflix and eat some ice cream cause now it for sure seemed as though her boyfriend was ignoring her. 

“Stop being such a jerk and talk to your girlfriend.” Travis said.

“Don't you think ive tried,” Nolan said, looking down at his shoes avoiding his friend's eye contact. “She's great but she's too good for me. I'm just a hockey player. She could leave me any moment.”

Travis listened to his best friend's sincere confession and thought about how y/n was seriously in love with him and she thought the opposite of everything he had just said. “Pat, i've seen the way that girl looks at you and she's totally whipped and I can say the same for you.” Nolan loved his girlfriend and it seemed like he just needed a slight push from his best friend to realize that they had their differences but they were totally and hopelessly in love.

He decided to step out for some air and call her and tell her how he really felt. Y/n was sitting on the couch when her phone started ringing. Her boyfriend's name flashed across the screen as she completed picking up. She decided to ignore how she was hurting and instead answered it cause deep down she could never be mad at her big goofball of a boyfriend. There was silence for a few minutes as the static was heard on both sides of the line. Then finally Nolan spoke up with a simple hey.

“Hey bub.” y/n said back. It felt good to hear his voice. 

“Uhm wow ive been such a dick to you and i'm sorry, it's just sometimes i wonder why you're with me--..”

“Nol--..”

“Wait y/n let me finish, cause you know how hard this is for me.” The girl let him continue. “Sometimes it seems as though you are too good for this world and way too good for me and Tk made me realize that I should stop bottling up my feelings and talk to you about them. Communication is a big part of relationships and that's what I'm doing right now. I love you and I'm sorry sometimes I'm not good enough.” Nolan said exasperated at the end of his emotional speech.

There was silence for a few moments while y/n was trying hard not to cry. “Baby are you there?” 

“Yeah sorry bubs, Nols if you ever feel this way please tell me. I love you so much and you are seriously perfect for me. I understand communicating is hard for you but you know i'm always here to listen. You are always good enough and beyond that. I'm glad Travis made you talk about it. God, I love you so much Nolan Patrick.”

By the end of her speech they were both trying not to cry. “I love you lovebug. I'll call you later when i get to the hotel.”

“I'll be waiting.” y/n said glad that all this was just a miscommunication.

Tags so it doesn't flop: @marner-lovebot @hockey-anyone @mitch-slap @mymanseguin @leafsxhockeywrxtes @summerko8

[milomeepit]

Kiss Me- Moxiety (Highschool AU)

Word Count: 2.3k

Ships: Logince, Moxiety, Decani

Content Warnings: Minor blood/injury, violence mention, sex jokes, homophobic classmates

AN: Should I be working on my Big Bang? Yes. Should I be doing homework? Also yes. But I had the idea and it refused to wait 😂 Also, I'm on mobile so 1) no taglist but I'll reblog it later if I remember, and 2) I think I did the read more correctly but if it didn't I'd like to make a formal apology to everyone who gets this spaghetti mess of a oneshot on their dash

Virgil was somewhat used to the feeling that he couldn't breathe. Be it from panic, anger, or other overwhelming emotions, it was a familiar sensation; his lungs squeezed so tight it felt as if his chest would collapse in on itself. But nothing caused such a sweet ache as Patton.

(Kiss me out of the bearded barley

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

Swing, swing, swing the spinning step

You'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress)

It had been Roman's idea, to begin with. The asshole. He'd teased Virgil endlessly about his flushed cheeks and soft smiles, directed entirely at Roman's best friend. Virgil had vehemently denied all accusations of love, of course.

"Come on, Danger Drone, you can't lie to me!" Roman teased Virgil from his position sprawled across his bed. "You've got it baaad."

Virgil shot a glare at his brother before returning his attention to his laptop. "No way," He scoffed, shifting on his own bed, tucking a small stuffed cat beside the pillow so it wouldn't be squished by his squirming.

Roman rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out before starting to sing, "Who ya think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and he-" He was cut off by a pillow smacking into his face.

Virgil snapped his laptop lid shut and hopped off of his bed, stalking over to Roman and crossing his arms. "I. Do not. Have a thing. For your dorky friend." He hissed.

"You know, you could really take some acting tips from Dad and me," Roman flashed him a toothy grin as he sat up, sitting nose to nose with Virgil.

Virgil scowled. "You're seriously cruising for a bruising, you know that, right?"

"As if. Logan would kick your ass," Roman winked. "He may be your best friend, but he's my boyfriend."

"As if. He'd be too busy lecturing you on provoking violence. And then you two disasters would probably start bickering and end up making out on the kitchen table again."

"Hey, that was one time!"

[[MORE]]

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

As much as Virgil hated to admit it, Roman was right. He was head over heels for Patton. Who wouldn't be? 

He had such a pleasant way of speaking. Sweet, warm, but not superficial. He was always trying to look after other people, be it upset little kids from the elementary school next door, students freaking out over exams and friendships, teachers carrying things to their car, or lost and distressed animals.

He knew that Patton wasn't always the super sweet, happy, helpful person he seemed. Nobody could be, they wouldn't be human. But Virgil found himself wondering what it would be like to comfort Patton, help him with the little things he was always helping others with. The bubbly boy was always so busy with everyone else, Virgil sometimes worried that he didn't look after himself.

On the plus side, he thought as he trudged to school one morning, Roman was good with that kind of thing. He would nag Virgil to eat, to have his meds, to go to bed if it was too late. It was annoying at times, but he appreciated it. Roman was protective of those he cared about.

Which meant he really should have seen this sort of thing coming.

(Kiss me down by the broken tree house

Swing me, upon its hanging tire

Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat

We'll take the trail marked on your father's map)

"What the fuck happened?!" Virgil gaped at the blood smeared across Logan's face, leaking from beneath the crimson-stained tissues he held to his nose.

"Oh, you know. Charming small town high schoolers," Logan sighed, his voice muffled and nasal, as he gestured to the pencil skirt he was wearing. 

He was in Roman's lap on the cot in the nurses office. Patton was already with them, sitting in a chair he had dragged from across the room, his hands fluttering anxiously as he cleaned up blood from Logan's shirt.

Roman was quiet, his arms wrapped around Logan's waist. "I'm going to beat them into the dirt," He muttered, his eyes glowing with anger.

"That's not necessary, Roman, honestly. I'll just stop wearing feminine clothing to school, it's obvious that was the catalyst here." Logan shook his head.

Virgil perched on the cot next to them. "You shouldn't have to, though. It's hardly your fault that they're a bunch of close-minded assholes."

"Close-minded assholes who should know better than to bully my beloved," Roman growled. 

Virgil glanced at him, noticing his tense shoulders and clenched fists. "Ro, you can't fight everybody who hurts us," He cautioned. "Jock or not, you've got limits like everyone else."

"Well, it isn't like they're going to stop." Logan twisted to face Virgil. "Let's face facts; they'll get in trouble, detention or suspension at worst, and then they'll go right back to it."

Patton pouted. "I wish there was something we could do, though."

The four were silent for a few seconds before Roman lifted his head. "You know," He said slowly, his eyes lighting up, "I might just have an idea of what we could do."

(Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil fiddled with his seatbelt nervously in the backseat of the car. "Are you sure about this?" He asked Roman.

Roman didn't respond for a moment, squinting into a compact mirror as streetlights flashed past, illuminating the interior of the car with yellow light. He snapped it shut, apparently satisfied, and turned to Virgil. "Of course! I'd love to see them try to come after us after tonight."

"You two look great," Pops chirped from the front seat, turning to look at them. His glasses obscured his face in the dim car, but Virgil could make out his wide grin. "You're really gonna knock 'em dead tonight!"

"And if by chance any of these bullies don't make it through the night, I have bleach and a shovel in the garage," Dad added with a smirk, throwing a glance over his shoulder before returning his attention to the road.

Pops smacked his arm lightly. "Dee! You can't fight fire with fire like that!" He chided. "Don't encourage them to murder people."

Dad laughed and winked at Pops. "Oh, lighten up, Em. I'm just kidding."

Pops let out an unconvinced hum before turning back to the boys. "Do you guys have everything you need? Phones, water bottles, snacks?"

"Condoms?" Dad added, earning him another smack. "Hey!" He complained jokingly. "I'm just making sure they stay safe."

"The school is catering for the dance, it's fine, Pops," Virgil laughed. "And we're probably gonna grab dinner on the way home, anyway."

"Alright, alright," Pops smiled, turning back around in his seat. "Make sure you guys stay safe tonight, okay? And if anything happens, call us."

"Yes, Pops," They responded in unison, sharing a fond eyeroll.

(Kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling

So kiss me)

Virgil wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when they walked into the dance. Roman was obviously going to get a lot of attention in the long, hip-hugging, vibrant red dress he had picked out. The lacy bottom of the skirt swirled around him as he casually strutted into the room, white heels clicking against the wooden floor. He wondered suddenly if he should have worn heels.

"Roman! Virgil!" He turned to see Patton and Logan, already posted up by the snacks table, Patton waving wildly at them. As they approached, Logan handed them each a cup of soda with a nod.

"You guys look amazing!" Patton gushed, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he looked back and forth between the two brothers. "You look really nice in purple, Virge, you should wear it more!"

Virgil felt a blush creeping up his neck as he took a swig of soda. "Uh, thanks," He responded. He hadn't been sure about the floaty violet skirt and silver, off the shoulder bodice when Roman had thrust it at him in the store, but he had to admit it was growing on him. Especially if Patton liked it.

He took a moment to look Patton up and down. Something about the shimmering, wide blue skirt and butterflies dotted across the neckline seemed familiar, but it was hard to focus on when Patton was smiling sweetly up at him, his sparkling blue eyes framed with delicate eyeliner and his cheeks dusted with shimmery highlighter.

"Your dad's really outdone himself with this one!" Roman exclaimed. "Cinderella, right? It looks gorgeous!"

Patton giggled and did a little twirl, the skirt swishing around him as he moved. "Yeah! He's been working on it for a while to sell as a costume piece, but when I told him about the dance, he said I could have it!"

Virgil grinned. Patton's dad was an odd one- a chaotic cryptid with all the self control of a hyperactive monkey- but he certainly knew how to hit an aesthetic. 

Logan reached out to Roman, standing up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "You guys really didn't have to do this, you know," He smiled gently.

"What? And have the world miss out on this view?" Roman spun, the flared base of his skirt brushing against Virgil's ankles, and struck a pose, his hand on his hip.

Logan chuckled. "I suppose you're right. It would be a shame."

"Nothing compared to the potential tragedy of not being able to see you all dressed up," Roman winked, tipping up Logan's chin and pecking him on the lips.

Logan blushed faintly, his hands moving to smooth out his dark blue skirt, the star-like silver dots speckled down the fabric catching the light as he moved. "Thank you."

"Shall we?" Roman offered his arm. 

"This is a dance, after all," Logan slipped his hand into the crook of Roman's arm, and the pair disappeared into the crowd.

(So kiss me)

Virgil leaned back against the wall, swirling his soda idly as he watched couples twirl past, dresses and suits and jewelry shining in the coloured lights.

Parties were... so not his scene, but he supposed it was worth it, between the surprised looks from the brats who'd beaten up Logan, Roman and Logan clearly enjoying themselves on the dance floor, and-

"Heya!" He jumped, turning to see Patton appear next to him. "Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to spook ya," He giggled, and Virgil's heart thudded in his chest.

"It's all good," Virgil responded. "So, uh... I kinda figured you'd be off dancing with your friends. Harley and Brian and all that."

Patton shrugged. "They all paired off for the dance," He explained. "It's okay, though! That means I can hang out with you!"

"Oh," Virgil said dumbly. "Uh, do you... do you wanna dance with me?"

Patton looked up at him with a wide smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

(So kiss me)

He was dreaming. There was no other explanation for this. Patton's arms looped around his neck, chatting happily to Virgil as a slow dance played over the speakers. Dreaming or dead, he repeated as he shifted his hands on Patton's waist.

Roman caught his eye from across the room and winked. Virgil fought the urge to flip him off as Logan laughed.

So what if he liked Patton? It wasn't like this meant anything. They were just dancing together as friends, and that was fine. Virgil would enjoy it while it lasted, and that would be that.

".. rgil? Virgil, are you okay?" He blinked and looked back down to Patton to see a concerned frown on the other boy's face. "You look like you're a million miles away, buddy."

"Oh, uh... just thinking. Don't worry," Virgil blushed. "I'm okay."

"I'd hope so. If I upset you, Roman might revoke his approval," Patton giggled.

"Wait. Approval?" Virgil paused, staring down at Patton in surprise.

Patton blinked, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Well, ah, I thought you- and he said he... is this not a double date?"

Virgil shot a glare at Roman, who flashed him a sweet smile and twirled away gracefully, vanishing into the crowd with Logan once more. "First I've heard of it," He told Patton.

Patton recoiled and took a step back, his face red. "Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, Virge, I- you don't have to-"

Virgil pulled him close again, his own face blazing hot. "I don't- I don't mind," He stammered. "Dancing with you. Or the, the date part."

Patton reached up and, after a moment's hesitation, put his arm around Virgil's neck again. "So... this is okay?"

"Y-yeah," Virgil confirmed. "More than okay."

Their faces were inched apart like this, and Virgil felt his breath catch in his throat as Patton bit his lip, his eyes darting down to his mouth. "Can... can I-"

Virgil didn't wait for him to finish the question before he leaned forward, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. It tasted like caramel lipgloss and cheap soda and cheese puffs and Virgil swore he was fucking floating.

When they broke apart again, Patton's eyes were shining in the pink-yellow-blue-green lights swinging over the dance floor. "Wow," He said, sounding almost as breathless as Virgil felt, and rested his head against Virgil's shoulder.

As they spun across the dance floor, the tulle of Patton's skirt flaring around them, Virgil decided maybe parties weren't so bad after all, as long as he got to bring Patton with him.

... Roman was still dead meat when they got home, though.

(So kiss me)

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

I Am Not Living, I Am Surviving Hug Me Michael x Reader

Warnings: this theme deals with depression and thoughts of suicide which could be triggering for some.

A/N: as someone that deals with depression I felt compelled to post this. Michael helps Y/N during her depressive episode, the reader (much like me tends to shut people out especially when things get difficult so I feel this on a personal level). Hope you guys take the time to read this as it is kinda personal for me, thanks guys and please let me know what you think. Note the lyrics used are from Britta Phillips version of the song Drive

//who's gonna tell you when

it's too late

who's gonna tell you things

aren't so great

you can't go on

thinking nothing's wrong

who's gonna drive you home tonight//

I was not alone, that there was someone somewhere who was able to articulate the seething, jumbled, brutal, pre-linguistic, thrashing, writhing, hazing, dulling pounding in my head. It wasn't just me. That single thought was the most important thing in the world to me, sometimes the one thing that kept me alive – a single false note of optimism would have shattered it all for me, left me thinking yes, it really is just me – the words people offer me really are just that, words, the hope they contain utterly irrelevant because they relate to an experience that is not mine.

‘I put on a brave front' it had been so easy to hide how I truly felt, laugh, joke act like I was completely fine. But truth was I knew deep down inside I wasn't masking it would only work for so long. I was rapidly sliding deeper and deeper into a very dark space. My symptoms got worse and soon I found it too difficult to even get up and out of bed in the morning.

‘You feel nothing. You shut down completely. There is no happiness, no sadness, nothing. You feel zero.’ Depression is not something that can be brushed away with a smile, or shooed away with a pat on the back. It’s something more deeper and profound. There’s no gadget to test which person is suffering from what type of depression, and there’s no instrument to measure the extent of depression.

Statistics say that as many as 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem at some point in our lives. That means you know someone—probably several someones—with depression, anxiety, an eating disorder or something else. Isolation can have a crushing effect on a lot of people. Some people thrive on it, but humans on the whole are a social bunch and need to interact with others. When that isn’t possible, it’s easy to feel that the walls are closing in. But honestly all I was good at doing is pushing people away, I am afraid if they get to close if they see really see what I am going through that they might abandon me because it may end up being way too much for them.

I kept a diary somehow it felt safer to write down my thoughts, the one person I should be honest with is Michael but I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. Would he be hurt? Would he hate me? So many thoughts in the back of my mind I pushed them away. I scribbled furiously in the journal and tossing it aside. Normally I hid it under a loose floorboard in our bedroom but on this night not giving it so much as a second thought I feel asleep journal wide open. Y/N didn't hear Michael when he walked in, he looked at you you were fast asleep. He noticed the leather bound book that laid open by your sleeping form. He didn't want to invade your privacy but something alerted him that something was on deed wrong. He looked at the small paragraph scrawled on the page, his face froze in fear at the words before him.

Dear Michael.

I've been thinking about ending my life. I don't know why I can't talk to you in person, so I bought this Diary in the case that I do end up killing myself you will know why I did what I did and that you cannot blame yourself. Michael you are the reason I am still here. for now. But the voices in my head are so strong and the pain that it is inflicting on me everyday, one more thing and I feel like I won't be able to hold on, but I will for you Michael  I will try my best for you.

Yours Truly,

Y/F/N Y/L/N

Depression is a hole and I'm slowly falling in trying to claw out and everyone I love is just standing there watching. Honestly I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep 'acting’ like I was ok when deep down inside I wanted to end it, quiet the voices leave the pain behind that quite frankly I felt like I was drowning in.

I opened my eyes I don't know how long I had been asleep or even what time it was. I looked to see Michael's concerned expression his piercing blue eyes felt like they had penetrated my soul. There my journal sat in his lap, Michael let out a breath attempting to steady himself. “Why won't you talk to me Y/N, tell me that something was wrong?” I couldn't even open up my mouth to speak it was like I lost all nerve to even respond. My first instinct was to bolt, I sat up quickly turning my body away from him. I wasn't able to even make it to the edge of the bed, Michael grabbed my arm “Y/N please talk to me don't shut me out!”

Michael's breathing started to get heavier as his eyes started to well up. Y/N  looked at Michael, saying nothing. He wondered what she was thinking. Finally, after a few moments, she started sobbing, and she leaned into him. Michael immediately pulled her into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder, and struggling not to cry himself. ‘I was tired of feeling helpless. I had to do something, anything.’ ‘I remember that exact moment as the one where I started to feel good about myself again, I just wish it could've lasted longer…

There was another moment of silence, this one longer than the last, "I tried to tell myself that you'd get better, that you would get back to normal  but the truth is I didn't know that. I didn't know if you'd get better, you can't keep doing this to yourself Y/N, what if I never see you again! And the thought of everyone else just going on with their lives made me sick! So yeah,I am angry, and I am scared…  I didn't know what the fuck I am supposed to do!" Michael's voice finally broke as tears streamed down his face. Y/N, with tears in her own eyes, finally stood up. She pressed her forehead against Michael's and placed her hands on the sides of his head. ‘But most of all, I knew, come what may, I had at least one safe harbor.’ I looked up at Michael the look was unmistakable.

‘I'll never forget what I saw at that moment, looking into Michael's eyes.’

‘He loved me. This sweet, perfect man… loved me.’

After staring at him for another moment that seemed to last forever, she finally leaned in and kissed him. He quickly began kissing her back. The two of them continued this until it started to grow more heated, with the two of them running their hands over each other, and Michael kissing along the side of her neck.

He pulled back after a minute and looked at her.

"Are you… are you sure this is okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

Y/N gave Michael a smile.

"I'm sure," I  said.

‘That wasn't entirely true. I wasn't sure, or rather I wasn't sure if I was sure.but I didn't know if that made a difference. I knew I wanted it to be okay this time.’

The two of them resumed, even more passionately this time. They began removing clothes and letting their hands roam over more of more of each other…

‘More than anything, I wanted it to be okay this time. I remember thinking, please, please, let it be okay this time.’

Michael continued kissing Y/N, who leaned her head back as the feelings came over her…

‘But it wasn't okay’

I inhaled sharply…

‘It was perfect.’

2 weeks later…

"How is Y/N?" Gallant ask, suddenly looking at Michael with concern on his  face.

Michael hesitated. He  came here to help Gallant with an issue with his salon , not unload his  own worries onto him. Still, lying to him didn't feel right either.

"I don't know, really," Michael  finally said. "She just doesn't seem to want to open up. I know she's been having a really hard time." Michael gave Gallant  a slight smile. “I think it's just going to take time.” Gallant responded softly.

‘The day were getting... bearable.’

‘So were the days after that, and the next after that.’

‘Michael found me a new doctor. A bit further away, but worth the trip. I was able to open up to her a little.’

‘Still, I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something I was supposed to do, but at first, I couldn't figure out what it was.’

‘But gradually I started to notice something…’

‘...something I couldn't shake once I noticed them.,

‘The signs.’

‘The ones most people didn't see. The ones no one saw in me until it was almost too late.’

Michael  wiped one last tear rolling down his face and closed his eyes.

“Please live for me Y/N," he said, softly. “Stay with me, I love you."

Y/N sighed in relief.

‘All I could do after that was live.’

Michael pulled me close to him tightly I could hear his heartbeat, a steady reminder to live

//Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.//

Mahatma Gandhi

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you're gonna have to go without me & my pom poms 💔💔 Janis: what, why? Jimmy: got detention Jimmy: & I've already checked the windows, like Jimmy: no escape Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Un🍀 babe Janis: leave you alone for five minutes Janis: what you do this time then? Jimmy: I didn't even do nowt Jimmy: barely said a word to this dickhead in tech who was proper giving it to me 🙄 Jimmy: should've just smacked him if I was ending up here anyway Janis: ugh Janis: bet he ain't going detention with you either Janis: teachers are cunts Jimmy: nah they didn't even hand him one out Jimmy: like fuck am I just gonna let him chat shit about us for the full lesson Jimmy: but now Janis: it's alright Janis: mean, obvious waste of your time Jimmy: I'm gonna knock him out when I next see him Janis: fair enough, I'd say Janis: I'll watch 👍 Jimmy: front row seat to make up for the one I'm missing, yeah Jimmy: you're still gonna win for me though Janis: 'course I am Janis: can't make promises for the rest of the team, though sure they'll try their best for you 😍 Janis: other School is pretty shit tbh so Jimmy: 👍 'cause I'm still taking for drinks later too Jimmy: & I'd rather you not have to drown your sorrows, pisshead Jimmy: sort them other girls out & make 🥇 happen, babe Janis: 💪 nothing but victory drinks, swear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 💕 Janis: stay alive Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: got my phone back Janis: you seen it then Jimmy: been @ed by half the school Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah, been reporting the comments but it don't do shit, especially when it ain't even my post so Janis: are you Jimmy: don't worry, he's gonna take it down Janis: nothing even happened Janis: I swear Janis: he's just pissed off 'cos I said it ain't gonna again Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: it's about what's happening next Jimmy: & I'm sorting that right now Janis: it matters to me that you hear the truth from me and believe it Janis: 'cos what he's saying, and everyone else now, is bullshit Jimmy: I know that he's the lad that gave you a lift & you didn't fuck him so Jimmy: whatever happened before ain't my business Jimmy: & nowt happened today either whatever he says Janis: it really didn't Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: 'course you wouldn't Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: it's not but Jimmy: I'm just saying I believe you Janis: Thank fuck Janis: I felt like I was going to vom Janis: I know Mia talked to you, she took great delight in letting me know Jimmy: Less chat more shoving screenshots of his snaps at me Jimmy: so likewise Janis: he's just a prick Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: & she's just having fun pretending that you & him have been fucking behind my back this whole time Jimmy: didn't bother telling her I've been there & I'd know, not very #goals Janis: I'm sorry Janis: this bullshit Janis: they wouldn't do it to you if you weren't with me Jimmy: why, you ain't done nowt Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I wanna be Jimmy: they can't do shit to change it Janis: I like you too much to put you through this shit Janis: it's so Janis: stupid Jimmy: you ain't the one being stupid Jimmy: or putting me through it Janis: yeah but Janis: I don't know Janis: just hate it Janis: them Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but he'll be one less dickhead to worry about in a sec Jimmy: I promise Janis: what you mean Janis: he's not going to delete it Janis: already asked Jimmy: yeah he is Jimmy: I'm not asking Jimmy: I'm just about to make him Janis: where are you Jimmy: If I let you know that you'll show up Jimmy: it's better if you don't, alright Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm not gonna stop you but don't do anything stupid on my account alright Jimmy: I ain't the one who's being stupid either Jimmy: It's okay Jimmy: not my first time knocking out this exact type of dickhead Jimmy: like I said, my ex actually was fucking around on me so Janis: that's shit Jimmy: it weren't any more fun for her Jimmy: not really Jimmy: she was messed up, is still probably Janis: still Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: that's not this Janis: I know but everyone else is convinced so may as well be Jimmy: Nah, I ain't so it's not even close Jimmy: only thing similar is lads chatted shit on her too, never did find out how many she really got with out of the loads who said Janis: anything to boost their own rep Jimmy: it was the ones who weren't saying owt that I had to properly watch Jimmy: they just did it & left me to walk in Jimmy: literally in some cases Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he's here Janis: don't get hurt okay Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: leave that for him Janis: obviously Janis: I don't give a fuck about him though Jimmy: makes two of us Jimmy: [a fight later] Jimmy: post's gone Janis: will you tell me where you are now Jimmy: tell me where you are & I'll come meet you Jimmy: not gonna hang round the scene of the crime, am I? Janis: I'm at my nan and granddad's Janis: could hardly go out and about town and fuck being home when she's gonna be there Janis: take this bus [#] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be there as soon as Janis: don't worry, neither of 'em is in rn Jimmy: I weren't but Jimmy: alright Janis: just mean, not gonna make you talk to my entire fam Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: I don't care who I've gotta talk to right now Jimmy: I just wanna see you Janis: they don't live as middle of nowhere Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: I know Janis: not to be that bitch but you didn't answer my question Jimmy: what Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: are you? Janis: better when I see you Jimmy: I feel that Janis: Okay Janis: are you gonna bleed on me again though or Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you're safe Janis: I'm Janis: I know it'll get old if I keep saying the S word so I won't but Janis: I wish it didn't drag up all that stuff with your ex for you Jimmy: none of that is important Jimmy: just you Janis: you Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that won't get old if I keep saying it, will it? Janis: no Janis: I love you too so I never get tired of hearing it Jimmy: good Jimmy: 'cause you know I can't stop when I've started Janis: yeah Janis: one of the things I like about you Jimmy: even if it has fucked the 🚭 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: you promised you'll stay Janis: and you're already dead yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 👻 lad me Janis: so you can't go nowhere anyway Janis: soz ginger trying to save your soul, too late Jimmy: & I can't get hurt either Jimmy: so if any other dickheads need fighting, it's no #drama Janis: not planning to make it a thing Janis: not that I planned this Jimmy: I get it, a weekly brawl would have me too 💪 & you don't need the competition Jimmy: not planning to become an athlete though you're alright Janis: you're an idiot Janis: a lovable one but Jimmy: an idiot for getting detention Jimmy: he couldn't have pulled that shit if I were there Janis: not like you planned on being too cool for school either Janis: give out detentions for their own amusement, sadists Jimmy: always too 😎 me Jimmy: for school or anywhere Janis: gift and a curse yeah babe Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: this bus actually run or what? Jimmy: I've been stood here ages Janis: yeah, last I checked Janis: if I knew where you were I could come to you Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: you know everyone'll be talking about it tomorrow Jimmy: let them tell you Janis: Probably shouldn't come to School Janis: reckon I'm gonna get stoned Janis: not in the chill way Jimmy: the teachers are fucking useless yeah but I ain't letting nowt happen to you Jimmy: or letting anyone think this is more than just bollocks Janis: they'll think what they wanna, and they really wanna Janis: idc Jimmy: like I told you, I'll fight whichever dickheads need to be told Jimmy: I don't care Janis: can't fight girls though can ya Jimmy: I don't need to Jimmy: you can Jimmy: or however else you wanna sort it Janis: yeah Janis: fuck knows Janis: I don't wanna have to always deal with this Janis: the lads just think I'm a slag so they can get some, whatever, makes sense Janis: they're just cunty 'cos they wanna, like alright but why bother Jimmy: I've said it before Jimmy: they're jealous Jimmy: you're hotter than them Jimmy: & good at shit 'cause you're SUCH an athlete as I'm always also saying Janis: that's so fucking stupid Janis: focus on yourselves ladies, might get something done Jimmy: tweet it girl Janis: 😂 Janis: keeping well away from social media rn tah Jimmy: 💔 but you're my muse Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no one's stopping you from being 👑 of twitter etc Janis: @ me though, can't handle another blatant subtweet or indirect Jimmy: 👌 fine Janis: what Janis: you reckon I should come running to my own defence Jimmy: I don't reckon owt Jimmy: it ain't happening to me Janis: well Janis: bit Jimmy: nah I'm the #victim if I'm in this Jimmy: my DMs are full of girls offering a shoulder to cry or cum on Janis: that's disgusting Janis: truly Janis: gonna miss your way with words Janis: but that's what I get Jimmy: you should see some of the pics I've been sent Jimmy: disgusting them Janis: no thank you Janis: not actually my thing Jimmy: I weren't asked if any of this was my thing Jimmy: but fine, I'll take one for the team Janis: I know, I know Janis: it's gross Janis: pretty bold of him to do this when I've got the dick pics, like Janis: guess enough peeps have 👀 or he's that full of himself Jimmy: probably hoping you'll show 'em about & the girls'll swoon Jimmy: dickhead Janis: 🙄 Janis: wouldn't put it past them so nah Janis: burn my phone, burn my retinas, like Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: assume Mia is licking his wounds for him as we speak Jimmy: I hurt him enough, maybe she'll actually swallow him Janis: 🙏🤞 Jimmy: who the fuck is he Jimmy: why does he think he can be this much of a bellend Janis: idk Janis: he's fit and such an athlete, obvs everyone loves him Janis: good match Jimmy: he ain't fit & I beat the shit out of him so how much of an athlete is he Janis: well you know what I mean Janis: stereotypical jock pretending his life is an american teen drama or a really low rent porn Janis: idk, the fact he was such a dickhead worked at the time Jimmy: it's your type, don't have to tell me Janis: fuck off Janis: no it ain't Jimmy: he is, I am Jimmy: that's two for two Jimmy: unless you've been hanging round with some right nerds Janis: you ain't my type either Janis: people don't actually have types do they Jimmy: you tried to tell me I do as soon as I met you Janis: yeah and look where you've ended up Janis: types are for when you wanna play it safe and be disappointed Janis: know what you're getting, even if it's a steaming pile of 💩 Jimmy: you don't have to sell me on how wrong you were, girl Jimmy: I told you back then Janis: I wasn't wrong Jimmy: you said I have a type, I don't Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: 👌 Jimmy: nah, come on Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: you have a type but you got 🍀 Janis: obviously Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: jk Janis: very unlucky Janis: 'part from the bathroom fuck, worst girlfriend ever Jimmy: apart from every fuck Jimmy: get it right Janis: please tweet that final review Janis: not all bad Jimmy: alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: erm wait until you've dumped me, dickhead Janis: and wait 'til this scandal has blown over 'fore that or they'll have it #confirmed Jimmy: you don't reckon I'm gonna have more to say after I've been fucking you forever Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: thought I had a way with words Janis: you do Janis: that was beautiful baby Janis: please fuck me forever 💕 Jimmy: I already promised Jimmy: not gonna break it & your 💔 Janis: tah 👍 Janis: you are on the bus now though on the real Jimmy: it did show up yeah Janis: coulda told me Janis: rude Jimmy: didn't realise you needed a warning Jimmy: do you wanna countdown or what Janis: shut up Janis: too soon to be making jokes about needing time to see the last out the door Jimmy: so funny you Janis: I said it's too soon Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be my friend Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: stop friendzoning me Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: okay be my boyfriend then Jimmy: I am Jimmy: who do you think you're chatting to right now Jimmy: might have the wrong convo, girl Janis: think I'd be better at this Janis: honestly Janis: rookie errors these Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't have to kick you when you're down Jimmy: embarrassing really Janis: I'll do better next time babe Janis: promise Jimmy: yeah sort it out Janis: hey, you're hot, wanna help me cheat on my boyfriend Jimmy: not that kind of boy Jimmy: but you'll find loads of takers so don't be 💔 Janis: am a bit Jimmy: you're 💔 or you're calling me a bit of a slag Jimmy: either way, gutted Janis: I've called you a slag many a time Janis: not gonna half-arse it now Jimmy: & I've been gutted every time Jimmy: but tah for letting me know what you meant Janis: you know it's just guilt projection Janis: shameless, really Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: well that's your rep now, may as well Janis: cheers Janis: probs shit the bed a bit with him but like you said, loads of takers Jimmy: chin up, Jillian Jimmy: you've got that paddy 🍀 on your side Janis: such a charmer Jimmy: what you like about me Janis: you want a list or you just stating facts Jimmy: it's a fact Jimmy: don't wear yourself out with the list Jimmy: bet you've got loads of DMs to get through & fire sexts to write Janis: naturally Janis: I don't even know who some of these people are though Jimmy: I'd offer my services but I ain't written one for a lad before Jimmy: Barry ain't that tech savvy Jimmy: give him a ring or nowt Janis: boys are easy Janis: very visual Janis: your talent would be wasted, tbh Jimmy: that's tanked my get rich quick scheme Janis: 😕 Janis: soz Janis: start charging for your nudes instead of giving 'em away, probs Jimmy: I'll just charge every girl in my inbox for a reply Jimmy: be alright Janis: not me though Janis: mates rates right Jimmy: I'm charging you double every time you friendzone me, mate Janis: Baby Jimmy: triple when you really 💔 me Janis: when have I ever Janis: babe Jimmy: you want a list Jimmy: 'cause the bus ain't got that many more stops so tell me now Janis: that is so mean Janis: 💔 Jimmy: baby Janis: I'm too headfucked rn for your shennanigans Janis: just be here Jimmy: I really miss you Jimmy: so much Janis: I miss you more Janis: definitely Jimmy: you can't say that Janis: but I do Jimmy: you can't feel how much I miss you Janis: I wish I could Janis: I need to know that you're okay and you really do believe me Jimmy: when I get there I'll do my best Jimmy: but it's never Jimmy: all of it Jimmy: I wish I could show you that Janis: we got time Janis: right Jimmy: depends Jimmy: can we stay at your nan & granddads for a bit Janis: yeah Jimmy: then yeah Janis: I love you, you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: & I do too Janis: no one else matters Janis: just you and me Jimmy: you're all I give a fuck about Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: can we go somewhere Jimmy: where Janis: anywhere Janis: it doesn't have to be now, if you can't but Jimmy: I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: any time you want Janis: I don't want us to forget Janis: that none of them, and their shit, matters Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: & I won't let you Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: so much Janis: I fucking need you, Jim Jimmy: I need you more Jimmy: like actually Janis: I Janis: it hurts Janis: when you aren't here Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but there's nowt keeping me away from you now Jimmy: soon as I'm off this bus we're together Jimmy: that's it Janis: nothing or no one getting in our way yeah Jimmy: I swear Janis: Good Janis: you're mine okay Jimmy: it's okay with me, yeah Janis: good Jimmy: meet me off here Jimmy: I have to see you Jimmy: I just Janis: coming Janis: let me just settle this dog, 5 minutes max Jimmy: like one 🐶💕 weren't enough Jimmy: but go on Janis: this one makes Twix look like an 😇 Janis: gonna be so glad to see her, you are Jimmy: you better make sure you see her Jimmy: that's the cheating you've really done Janis: don't think I can look her in her puppydog eyes tbh Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: for her though not you Jimmy: you know what you did Janis: 😭 Janis: I had nowhere else to go Jimmy: save it for her, babe Jimmy: I don't need your excuses Janis: you know you wanna put in a good word for me, come on Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if only to get her off my case Jimmy: I ain't nobody's rebound tah Janis: gotta have standards Janis: respect that Jimmy: & I told you that early on Jimmy: bit late to go back on it now Janis: you did? Janis: well it stands up Jimmy: you've forgotten? Jimmy: which one of us might have gotten smacked in the head today Jimmy: get it together, like Janis: soz I ain't memorized everything you've said Janis: only pretending to be that highkey Jimmy: crack on with it Jimmy: you've got time, nerd Janis: you gonna stop chatting so much shit or? Janis: making my life hard Jimmy: make me Janis: I am omw Jimmy: be faster Jimmy: are you even an athlete or what Jimmy: if you ain't running to me so we can film it in slo-mo it ain't #goals my love Janis: you know I just won a 🏀 before being forced on a walk of shame Janis: I'm knackered Jimmy: shit I never even asked Jimmy: sorry Janis: you're alright, safe to say no one gave much of a shit before something more #drama happened Jimmy: I did though Jimmy: I do Janis: thanks Janis: you're a good WAG Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😘 Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: it's weird enough that you play for any school teams, don't call me a WAG too Janis: gets you out of lessons sometimes Janis: you know you wanna Jimmy: gutted I'm too 😎 Jimmy: 'cause yeah Janis: you ain't too cool to be with me Jimmy: but seriously, what team are they letting me on Jimmy: #troublemaker me Janis: sure they'll reckon it's good discipline for you then 😏 Jimmy: 🙄 'course Janis: come on Janis: I wanna see the short shorts Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: say please & maybe Janis: I'll say it when you get here Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but only 'cause I wanna see you so bad Janis: Good Janis: I miss you Jimmy: just Jimmy: you be here Jimmy: I Janis: thanks Janis: for being you and not Janis: believing Jimmy: what else was I gonna do? Jimmy: you're the only one I like Janis: you could've though Janis: like, convincing, give him that Jimmy: if I was gonna be like that I might as well just fuck off now Jimmy: I mean it, all of this, it's the only thing I've got Jimmy: or want Jimmy: & we're a team whether the school lets me join in or not Janis: me too Janis: promise Jimmy: if you say nowt happened then it didn't Jimmy: that's all the convincing I need Jimmy: you don't lie to me Janis: I don't Janis: and why would I Janis: I didn't feel anything when we did do stuff so Janis: pointless now Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: you said Janis: I thought that's how it was Janis: just overhyped Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: even if now I've met you I don't reckon it was hyped up enough Janis: you're Janis: why are you so nice to me Jimmy: I told you, you're nice to me Jimmy: then I'm nice back Jimmy: it's a deal Janis: I'll be nicer Jimmy: how Jimmy: you're so Janis: again Janis: I'll show you Janis: 'cos I see you now Jimmy: yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: have you forgotten what I look like Jimmy: he didn't hit me that hard Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'm okay Jimmy: I promise Janis: I'll check Janis: 'cos I'll kill him if he has Jimmy: 🤞 he's already 💀 Jimmy: I hit him hard so Janis: he earnt it Jimmy: I don't care about him Jimmy: it's for you Janis: me either Janis: just you Janis: did it make you feel better Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: people bullshit when they say it won't Jimmy: I only wish I could have fucked him up worse for what he did Jimmy: & what he's like Janis: don't worry, his ego is 💀 if nothing else Janis: already 😷 'cos I turned him down Jimmy: that makes me feel loads better Janis: seriously Janis: it was pretty funny 'til it weren't Janis: 😢 like Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: how could I not Jimmy: that's real #goals Janis: wish you coulda been there Janis: coulda showed him why I don't want him Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it's not just him though, you don't want anyone else, do you? Janis: no one Janis: you know it's just you Jimmy: alright Jimmy: good Jimmy: come here then Janis: ['scuse them the most intense hello ever] Jimmy: [literally would & do need several moments] Janis: [can tell she's been in a state] Jimmy: [just all the reassuring touches in the world like he would not stop even when they are trying to walk again or whatever] Jimmy: [says 'afternoon' and smiles casually but is looking at her like & like I said just touching always] Janis: [blinking 'cos her eyes are stinging 'cos a bitch don't cry but she really thought y'all had fucked this up for them] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [a boy sees & knows but he's keeping it chill for her] Jimmy: ['alright?'] Janis: [nods] Janis: ['now you're here'] Jimmy: [so many kisses basically wherever he can cos he can't stop himself like some are soft and some aren't cos all the feelings bitch] Janis: [holding onto him so tight and all the ilys] Jimmy: [likewise holding onto her like they about to drown like sorry everyone else about but not cos he would not be able to stop rn] Janis: [let's get you inside lads cheers for the empty grandparents] Jimmy: [more of the same when they're in lbr] Janis: [is checking his over like she said she would but is clearly fine suck it harry] Jimmy: [literally still can't stop touching her either even though low key would get in the way of what she's trying to do] Janis: [is loling but not trying to stop him 'cos never] Jimmy: [more kisses cos it ends them when the other one laughs] Janis: [softness bitch, getting him to the sofa 'cos she just wants to hold/be held for a hot sec] Jimmy: [give them a while with all those much needed snuggles] Janis: ['you're so important'] Jimmy: ['you are'] Janis: [let's self have sneaky cry 'cos overwhelmed as hell] Jimmy: [isn't gonna make a big deal of it even if he knows so just more of the same softness & being comforting & loving like] Janis: [laying on his chest listening to his heart] Jimmy: [playing with her hair from now until forever bye] Janis: ['it's fast'] Jimmy: [nods 'I told you, I had to see you. Needed to.'] Janis: [puts his hand on her chest, 'same', cos truly] Jimmy: [imagine what the fuck his breathing would have been like too omg] Janis: [let them just be so they can just calm] Jimmy: [later, he gets up to get them both a drink not alcohol let's not be wild, it'd be cute cos he don't know where anything is but still wanna do it for her] Janis: if you just wanted to look through the cupboards, that's alright Jimmy: just seeing if they got any posh silver I can have away Jimmy: life of crime starts here Janis: by the time the inheritance is split between us all I won't get much so Janis: go for your life, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [brings her a beverage probably tea actually cos that's what english people do] Janis: ['tah'] Jimmy: [goes back to snuggling like he never left] Janis: 'you're the best boyfriend'] Jimmy: ['you're the best muse. Very inspiring.'] Janis: ['what are you thinking right now?'] Jimmy: [kisses her cos he's thinking about how much he loves her/how happy he is this isn't fucked up etc but how to say] Janis: [smiles] Janis: works for me Jimmy: [kisses her again cos the smile] Janis: are you coming back to mine tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: [bigger smile] Jimmy: [just 😍 at her] Janis: nothing's ever gonna fuck this Jimmy: works for me Jimmy: [smiles back] Janis: promise Jimmy: are you promising or asking me if I do Janis: both Jimmy: well I do Jimmy: [sips tea but not in a shady way lol] Janis: good Janis: 'cos I like you Jimmy: I love you Janis: [pouncing for kiss be careful of the tea] Jimmy: [cue make out session they both need & deserve] Janis: we can stay home tomorrow can't we Jimmy: we can do whatever you want Janis: I don't care if people reckon I'm running or being a pussy Janis: don't wanna be there Janis: just wanna be with you Jimmy: I don't give a shit about anything but you having what you want Janis: you Jimmy: [just pulling her into her lap for cuddles like] Janis: everything is alright when you're with me Jimmy: then everything's alright Jimmy: I ain't going nowhere Janis: me either Janis: [snuggles further in to prove point] Jimmy: [keeping them like that lowkey forever]