#... just gonna be properly thrifty.

[babygray]

Woo-hoo, got my paystub today.

[ilkkijangege]

135

Is this a start of another chapter in my life/love life?

Basically, I need to stop crushing on work guys! I recently started liking this guy, who is the brother of one of my old colleagues turned friend. It just happened 😂

I heard he is not available-ish, he is in a situationship. He seems like a really decent guy. I'll try to be friend him gradually and see how it goes.

We've been having small moments here and there with the help of my two friends who are much closer to him. When I was first properly introduced to him, I was shook at how <i>malutong</i> he curses in Tagalog because I have NEVER heard his sister curse in our nearly 4 years of friendship. So I go to one of my friends that I thought he was a church boi, to which my friend went and told him. As his response, "ate ko lang un." 😂

But last week, I was over at his desk with one of my friend and she got called into a meeting, so awkward Bianca ran away from him and said "bye". 😂 Then today, we talked about the Filipino new joiners to our project. He looked them up on our workplace chat and was like "fuckboiis". So I go "it takes one to know one huh?" He didn't reply, was he offended or did I speak too low? 😂 Then last week, my seastar had an idea for me to ask him about his contract (since a lot of people's contracts hasn't been renewed). So I asked him if he was on a permanent contract. He said no, it was gonna expire on the 14th of May and they need to give him 3 weeks notice so he thinks he is safe.

But idk if I should continue this if he is not available. I would like to get to know him as a friend and go with the flow. I'm actually meeting up with his sister and Jacqui on the 18th of May so we'll see 🙈

bye for now 😂

---------

28 April 2023

Mustered up the courage to talk to him today, yieeeeee

So basically, this week, I have been wanting to talk to him but I was so busy that I had meetings after meetings etc.

Basically, today is payday and I also wanted to get boba as a treat.

We have a group chat on Whatsapp and I asked the filo gang if they wanted one. No one replied so after lunch I went around his product group to ask them in person. Initially, he wanted coffee but the place we ordered didn't have one, so he was like 'I'll take chocolate with less sugar'. (ngl was kinda judging his choice but interesting) then he said 'what's your revolut *ate* (older sister in Filipino)?' I replied 'ate???' then he goes 'oh wait I think I may be older than you.' so I asked him 'how old are you? (as if I didn't already know ahahahah), '27 but turning 28 in like 3 weeks' (i already knew this too HAHAHAH) I replied 'ohhhh I'm August so you really are older' YIEEEEE hahhaah

So I go order the boba and when it arrived, the other filo girl on his team gave it to him and he turned to me to say 'thank you' in a really cute way, kilig naman lola nyo. then he was talking to this QA on my team (looks like about f1) and I was waiting for him to go away so I can go talk to him again. So I went up to his desk, I firstly asked him about the update on his contract. He said he got renewed for only 3 months and I asked him if he knows what's gonna happen after 3 months, they said it could be extended for another 3 months but he is really worried about job security cos they can let you go any time, to which I said it's really shitty. He thinks they are doing it to see how many people are leaving before we move to the other building. But I feel so bad for him, hopefully he gets another renewal. (or I will shoot my shot in 3 months ahahah)

Then we started talking about how expensive boba has gotten (we paid 6euro each) and he was so shocked hahaah (jacqui did warn me that he is very thrifty lmao). He thinks Kakilang and Charap are overrated. I told him I think we are quite biased with Charap because one of my sister's boyfriend works there. He was surprised because he thought only family of the owners worked there, I told him he was a distant relative, he said he went there when they were still new, he ordered coffee (who orders coffee at a bubble tea place?!?!? but he seems to like coffee a lot cos I remember his sister's IG stories of him making coffee) and he was skeptical as to why he was not hearing any coffee machines, THEY USED KOPIKO INSTANT COFFEE ahahahah. He said he paid 3 something for it and I told him oh that's robbery. He said the staff looked unhappy and that if it was him, he wouldn't work for the family business. Then he asked me if I have tried their cheesedog, I said 'oh their waffle dog?' haahah then he said White Rabbit's one is really good and I agreed but it is very overpriced, he said because they've gotten really popular. I asked him if he's tried the Korean restaurant before it was White Rabbit, Brothers Dosirak and he said no. He said he only knows 2 Korean restaurant, Arisu and White Rabbit, but he did see a new one recently, he said near Smithfield, so I asked if it was the Korean Table. I said it was good but very expensive, 20euro for a Bibimbap like. Then I told him there is another new one, Space Jaru in the Liberties to which I told him I was having dinner with his sister and Jacqui. Then he goes 'oh she told me about that! we hardly talk nowadays but when we do we talk for like 2 hours.' (sya na nag bibigay ng extra details na I don't need 😂) Then I told him he should join us but he declined 'it's okay, you guys enjoy'. He asked me if it was fusion and all, I said it kinda is but they have great Korean Fried Chicken. Then asked me if I have tried Bites with Kwanghi to which I said, they aren't that good cos they use frozen stuff as per my friend who was being mentored by Kwanghi. He said there were a lot of Filipinos there etc

He asked me how Jacqui was etc then I asked him if his sister has dropped any hints on what she wants for her birthday. He was like 'oh shit it's her birthday?' then I said 'how could you forget your sister's birthday??' HAHAHAHAH then he had to think about it, he said we should just get something for her dog, Louis. But he was also questioning us 'why would you get my sister a gift??' to which I said 'you're such a savage brother' hahaha then he was like 'just tell Jacqui I said not to get her a gift, *his first name* Approved*. I said 'AA approved!* hahaah

Then he asked me if I was QA or a TL. I told him I was a QA for D&S, he thought I was a TL bruh. I said 'i wish' then he was like 'oh really?' then I go 'ehhh I dont like managing people'. Then at one point, he said thank you 'ate' again for the boba and to give him my Revolut. I told him the girl on his team already paid for his. Then I told him 'I thought we already established that you were older than me??' then he was like, I call everyone ate - Vanessa and Mary Jo. Okay whatever you say, bsta ayokong ma-ate zone hahaha

then I think we just said goodbye cos I had so much things to do. I should have asked him how the boba was haahah

But here we go with overthinking again, how or why did his sister mention that we were meeting up? Like how did that conversation come up to be and whether I was mentioned? ahahh

Overall, I was proud of myself today. One of my old friends, GG told me he is really funny and he is honestly. I look forward to many more moments with him. I would definitely like to be his friend. Gosh I was shaking when I was talking to him but I got more comfortable, like compared to when I used to talk to Chad haahah i realized na wala pala talagang kwenta kausap si Chad 😂

I will probably ask him to join us for dinner again closer to the date ahaha but I hope we can get more closer, you never know what could happen ahhahaah

Hay Lord, please take my feelings away kung wala mapupuntahan ahaha

--------

2 May 2023

Yieee so had another courage to talk to him today! <3

I was over at GG's desk and I had been contemplating if I should talk to him and all. Then I finally did. I asked him how he was and he said he was working on a case that he didn't know what to do cos he hasn't seen it before and so he was self learning about it. I asked him if he was working on Pages or Interfaces (his old product that he still helps out with when they have backlog) at the moment, he said Pages but he feels like a Prostitute and he needs Vaseline for his ass. I told him there's a pharmacy down there if he wants to buy and he said 'it's too late for that, there's already a fist up there'. I am shook at how he is, I never expected him to be this explicit and him sharing these things when we hardly know each other.

Then he asked me when I was having dinner with his sister and Jacqui, I said the '18th' and he was like 'but ate's birthday would have passed, that's closer to my birthday, I'm the 22nd' (as if I didn't already know fam HAHAHAHAHAH) I told him we scheduled it sooo early cos it's busy season at Jacqui's department. Then he was like 'I'm away for my birthday' so I asked him where he was going, he said Italy and I asked 'oh with your fam?' he replied: 'with my cousin'.

Then I asked him if he was on the late shift, he said yes, he asked me if I was, I said we don't do late shifts but I started early today (7am) to avoid the traffic. Then he said he prefers earlies because he gets to do a lot of things but the traffic does get him, it would take him nearly 2 hours to get home but when he gets home, he eats, watch a movie and sleep. I told him I don't even have time to do anything ahah. He also said how it will be difficult for him to get to work when we move to Sandyford so I told him 'you said you have car, why don't you start driving it?' then he was like 'yeah I'll start driving it illegally, I don't even have NCT or Road Tax on it and I still haven't fully paid it yet.' ahahahah I told him I should also start driving.

Then I think our conversation just died down from here so I told him 'concentrate ka na dyan sa case mo bye!', he replied 'bye ate!' so annoying stop calling me ate please ahaha but I asked Mary if he does call her ate and she said yes, so it is probably the bunso syndrome in him hahaahah.

Ohhh and I also had a dream about him, he set me as his wallpaper on his work PC and it was funny because it was a cutout of my head, there were 2 and they kept floating around his screen ahahah

But honestly, I am very proud of myself again. I never thought I'd have such great conversations with him. I'm really shocked that he can be so explicit, boy does your sister know you say these things? You really are a bad church boi HAHAHAHH

Once again Lord, I am begging you please take him away from me kung wala akong pag asa sakanya. huhu

----

3 May 2023

Ayoko naaaa, kala ko today we were not gonna talk cos I was sooo swamped with this deep dive in work.

But to my surprise, xa naman pumunta sakin today. Firstly, he was looking for his product QAs, as in he said 'Bianca asan mga QAs namin?" So I explained...but one called in sick, one had a dentist appointment, one is on PTO and the other was hiding in a room somewhere. So I asked him if I could help but he decline because it was product specific. Then he ranted about how their QAs are always not there when they need them ahaha so sabi ko sakanya, if it's not product specific, "you can always ask me." HAHAAH KONTING LANDI DIN PAMINSAN HAHAH (but it's the first time I heard him say my name haha without ate too ahahah)

Then 1 hour later, he comes over my desk, sits besides me, as in he was so comfortable, his hands above his head and all, and ask me 'ate do you still ask your analyst to clone? cos I have a case dalawa ung issue.' Sabi ko we had a task open to get rid of it cos the filers always push back that they can't see the cloned case so I showed him a workaround in case. Then he saw Vanessa messaged me and he was like 'sabihin mo sakanya tumahimik sya' so I replied "di nya maiintindihan", his response: "ay oo nga pala" then laughs ahahah

Then as usual, pumunta nanaman ako sa area nya for GG then I went over at his desk, I asked him how his pwet was and he was like 'I told you it is past the vaseline stage, it's gone' ahahah 'non existent na?' he said 'no, just it's not there' ahaha then he asked me if I found a gift for his sister yet, I said Jacqui got a mug but might something else for Louis. Then he showed me a video of Louis and told me he is cute but makulit xa and said something I couldn't hear about what he wants to do to Louis (something bad anyway ahahaha). Then we started talking about shifts, if he is in all week and off weekends, he said he is off Saturday and in Sunday but he hates it cos 6 days straight and just 1 day off and how I told him MM's schedule is fucked up then he said last week, Interfaces TL asked him if he wanted to do overtime, he said no. I said even if they offer me 2x I wouldn't do it. Then he was like, "if they offer me my whole annual salary then I would do it, my ass will be perk up" (or something along this). Then he saw I kept looking somewhere, so he asks me who I was waiting for, I said Vanessa lol. My bus was soon so I said goodbye to him and said 'see you tomorrow'.

Haaaysss, I think tomorrow mag papa miss ako and not go over LMAO. Ayoko na Lord, masasaktan nanaman ako neto eh ahahah

.....

4 May

So he was off today, not sure if called in sick or what butttt....

I have an answer to the question I have been praying for. Wala akong pag asa sa kanya at never will have.

Basically, Mary Jo told me she talked to him last night on the late shift and asked him if he would be willing to date while he is on this situationship. He asked, 'bakit, sino?' then Mary said, 'what if it's from work?' Then he responded that he doesn't want someone from work cos it is awkward. (side note: mag reresign na ako bukas CHARING).

Okay naman sakin mag move on kasi sanay na ako haahah but I told Jacqui about this and she said feelings can change and since he only got renewed for 3 months, if ever he does get laid off then I can shoot my shot then, IF EVER di pa ako maka move on. Butttt di na ako aasa.

I think I will defo just consider him as a friend from now and get to know someone new. I need to keep feelings detached haha.

But I do wonder if napa-isip xa kung ako ba ung tinatanong ni Mary? Like do I avoid him now or what? How do I keep a normal conversation going? Kasi if I suddenly avoid him, then baka mahalata nya. But honestly, not once have I shown na I was nervous around him tbh so di ko alam if may na sense xa. But Lord, this is the answer I prayed for so thank you.

Another chapter closed sa blog na toh. BYEEEEE FOR A LONG TIME AGAIN

----

8 May

I knowww I said I wouldn't update again but gosh I feel like he is avoiding meeee.

Like earlier, he was looking for their QAs and they were busy, on holidays or sick leave. Like I asked him "do you need help?" But he just ignored me 😂

Then, I went over to GG's desk cos we were gonna have lunch together, we bumped into each other and he really didn't say hi. But after lunch, (I think he ate on his own today) we bumped into him again at the plate carousel, idk if he just said "hi" to GG or he also said hi to me. Maybe he's just really off today, it's a Monday afterall 😂 I haven't talked to him in a while though. I'll see if I ain't busy tomorrow and I'll chat him up. 😂

On a side note, his sister's bday is today, I greeted her and she said she cannot wait to see me 😂😂😂😂 idk if I will still execute my plan with Jacqui. We'll see 😂

----

9 May

So I really feel like he is avoiding me and I am overthinking it. Like today he came to our area again but a simple hello would have been nice but he didn't say anything at all. Like does he know tlga?? I am curious.

But I did ask my friends and Mary said he messaged him but he didn't respond so maybe he is going through some things. Break na sila? ahahah is it my turn to sweep him off his feet? Charing

But my gosh I'm already stressed out as it is so I do not need this anymore. Hahaha

We'll see tomorrow if I am less busy, I think I may have more time but we shall seeeee

Update 9 May, 23:59

I have been checking his IG, he unfollowed someone and also lost a follower. On top of it, he also archived his posts. He is defo going through something haha baka nag "break" na sila nung ka MU nya

.......

11 May

So he was back to work today and he is not ignoring me anymore, he probably was going through something

So I saw him when he got in, he was going to a meeting room and I smiled at him and he asked me "you good?" While smiling 😂 He seems better.

Then after lunch, I saw him alone at his desk, went up to him and I asked him if he's had lunch, he said not yet, 1.30 cos he is on the lates, he swapped shifts and fucked himself over cos he is on the earlies tomorrow but he likes the earlies.

Then I thought he had chika because he was like "nakita mo toh?" but we were interrupted cos someone needed help (the husband of my ex bff). I came back like 2 hours, to ask about it again, I said "uy ano chika mo?" He was like "what chika?" "You asked me if may nakita ako" then he remembered and showed me this QA development thing. He said he wants to be a QA, so I said "oh you want to be a QA?" he replied: 8-5, weekends off and I said "BH off too, just be prepared for deep dives" and he just laughed 😂 but idk if he still knows something cos our convo died and I told him "sige see you soon", he said "see you later" 😂

....

12 May

So we didn't really interact much today. But he got on the same bus as me, the seat beside me was EMPTY but he chose to sit in the one in front of me (which was not empty btw) and I'm like Y U NO SIT BESIDE ME 🥹😂 but the guy beside him left eventually and he sat directly behind me and he smelled good 😂

Then our next interaction was when he got of of the toilets, I was walking past and we said hello to each other.

BUT YOOOOOO a few hours later, the QAs and I decided to play hide and seek because our TL left early and we were all alone. So I decided to hide in GG's corner. Along the way, I had to go through Airplane's row and on that row, there is an unstable section of the floor AND IT FUCKING COLLAPSED AS I WALKED BY 😂 it was fucking embarassing, he even got up to see what the commotion was but didn't ask if I was okay char sana kunwari nadapa ako para tinulungan nya ako 😂

Anyways yeaahh un na 😂 I think he is already off on Monday for his birthday trip. I think he's gone for nearly 2 weeks? So no interactions till he get back. But I'm seeing his sister next Thursday so I'll update if my plan goes through. 😂

.......

15 May

So he was in today afterall but we did not speak to each other because I was busy and I was still embarrassed from what happened on Friday 😂

BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWWWWSSSS WALA NA SILA NUNG KA SITUATIONSHIP NYA 😂😂😂 MY INTUITION WAS RIGHT! GALING KO TALAGA! Though he told Mary that he wants to focus on himself, bro just you wait, I will get the green light from your sister 😛

Buttt, one of my sister has an admirer in work and she gave us idea on what the date should be. She gave us the idea for an Escape Room, she said I should find a horror one so I can clutch onto BCB 😂 I found this one where the teams will be divided into two, prisoners and the solvers, so naturally, I wanna be a prisoner with BCB 😂 yieee jk

So Mary asked him if he is down for it and he said yes buttt we need to find a day where all of us are available and it's super hard 😭😭😭

He's going to Italy tomorrow yeah HE CANNOT FUCKING FIND HIS PASSPORT 😂😂😂😂 My gosh bunso syndrome tlga!!! 😂😂 I hope he finds it 😂

But Mary said masasaktan lang daw ako kasi hindi sya nag rereply. Sabi ko: araw araw ko naman xang makikita 😂 and that I am used to getting hurt, Martyr Nyebera 😂 Rupok Mae Quinto daw ako 😂😂😂😂 But whatever will be, will be. At the end of the day, if he's willing to put in the effort, we can make it work. 😉

But he's gone for a week now so I'll miss him 🥹 but I'll see how things are with his sister on Thursday 😂

......

18 May

So I had dinner with his sister today and Jacqui...

We casually talked about BCB during dinner but I did not say anything. There was a point where I told her how BCB keeps calling me ate and she said he asked her one time 'wait, how old is Bianca?' Then sis told him 'she's like 2 years younger than me.' then he said 'Oh shit I keep calling her ate!' ahahaha then I told sis I am only 1 year younger than her, 1995 so we're the same age ahaha

She started asking me how her brother was, if he's good and if he actually does his job etc I told him he always looks busy when I see him haahaha

Jacqui was trying really hard to bring up the convo about BCB like asking like 'sila na lang kaya' etc etc but it was not going anywhere. She asked me "type mo ba?" Sabi ko, "pwede, he's funny" 😂

So we went for dessert after dinner and as we were leaving, like 30 mins before. I told them 'I want to say something but I'm shy'... then they were like 'ano???' then they had all eyes on me and I finally said 'I have a new crush....' they were like (well Jacqui acting) 'who??? is it from work??' 'yes' and I just kept looking at the sis all this time and I was shaking like maaaaddd 'it's BCB', she was shocked 'why didn't you tell me earlier??' they were teasing me "ooh she has an office crush!" Then she asked me how our chemistry is, if we talk and I told her we do, and how long has this been going on, I said just a few weeks. She said he is really weird. She was trying to tell me things about him, like how his dream is to open a cafe and he is saving up for it and I was shook because this is also a dream of mine, if ever I get sick of Law hahah

She said his brother is reaalllly nice, magalang, humble and she would really recommend him to anyone. He's a very family man. She said he's very private of his love life to the point where she didn't even know about how he was in a situationship until they ended things. She said they ended things because they were at different stages in their lives. (EG the girl already owns a house). She said he thinks he is not gwapo but she thinks that he is the most gwapo out of his friends and she's just not saying that because he is her brother. She said he's not really into social media, which is great in a way that he is really private. He's a foodie, one of his friends is a chef and they go to fancy restaurants together. I SWEAR WE CAN BE FOODIES TOGETHER HUHU

She also said that he's a really good conversationalist to the point where people (girls) have construed them to be something more. (I'm an ovethinker pa naman 😂)

She said he is good at making first moves and I shouldn't make the first move because I've already done it. She said he's expressed feelings about being pressured (being in an Asian household) and feeling not good enough. She said we could be in the same boat in where we want to pursue something higher than what we currently have. She also said he does not like playing games, which is very fair because we are too old for that and I am the same. She said the previous girl he dated, she was playing hard to get and he did not like that. Don't worry, if I like you, I like you and I will not make excuses. It's seems we are very alike, she said his friends have been the same since high school and she said that's just like me with my seastars.

She asked me if I liked going out because he does and that's something he has besides work. (this is the Gemini in him 😂). I'm such a homebody but I can compromise 😂

I asked her if I have the green light from her cos this might change the trajectory of our friendship (if things don't work out with me and him). She said that she will not meddle with his relationship but I should pursue this but go with the flow and let things happen naturally. Then Jacqui was like I should call his sis "ate" now and she was so against it 😂

Oh and earlier, during the dinner, before all of this, she said he's had 2 exes, one half black, half Northern Irish and the other one was Pinoy. Then she said how her mom would call her and ask her if she knows anyone she can set up with her brother hahaah

Hay Lord, I leave everything up to you. I will continue to talk to him and see where this takes us and hopefully something happens, but if not, c'est la vie.

.....

20 May

I had a dream about him. I was over at their house and he gave me a tour 😂 It seems that they have a converted attic and it's his room but the funny thing is that he has to use the attic ladder to get to his room and the entrance is very small 😂

.......

24 May

Delikado na toh.. I keep dreaming of him again.

So I had this dream, I was with my seastar in work and for some reason we had these big Brown Thomas bags with us. We had just finished lunch in the canteen so we went up to our floor. We went to the MK and BCB was there, I was behind him and he was besides my seastar getting snacks. I said "hi" but he ignored me and for some reason, I ran away to my desk as in not even fast walk. 😂😂 WTH

But I'm off for the next 2 weeks now because of work related stress. Miss ko na xa 🥹🥹🥹

.....

27 May

Soooo at 8.56pm last night, I followed him on IG 🤭🤭🤭 then he requested to follow me at 11:57pm 😂 (ate es encouraged me to follow him and I did 😂)

And today I checked, he watched my stories 😂😂

oh and I've decided that I'll ask him out end of June/early July. bahala na si batman 😭

....

28 May

HOY LAHAT TLGA NG STORIES KO VINI-VIEW NYA 😭 KALA KO BA HINDI KA MAHILIG MAG SOCMED? 😂

Pero bawal mag overthink 😂

.....

30 May

So I created a reel today and posted it on my story. He viewed story but did not like the reel. YO WHY like mo na pls. 😂

....

2 June

yo crush, y u keep watching my stories but no likey my posts? 🥹🥹🥹 I know you like other people's posts, do u no like me? 🥹

.....

4 June

OMG SO FUNNY. my big seastar has been asking her friends to set her up with guys yeah... we have this mutual (ish) friend, who was also close to BCB's sister in college, she sent big seastar a photo of a guy she found for her. IT WAS BCB 😂😂😂😂 she told her na set up na lang ako with him instead 😂

But apparently... BCB's mom wants an accountant for him. HELLO FUTURE SOLICITOR OVER HERE 😂 ako na lang plsss 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹😂😂

.....

6 June

So it was my first day back to work... I made cookies for my team and close colleagues, including GG. My plan was to offer him what was left over from what I brought but it turned out GG wasn't in today so I had the idea that I should just give the cookies to him. But let's backtrack a bit.

Basically, remember our escape room plan? So I already booked the escape room over the weekend because the timeslot was running out. I planned on talking to Mary and bf and the guy who's crushing on my seastar to see if they are free this Saturday. Then I will ask BCB of his plans. But in the end, Mary was sick so I cancelled our escape room.

Then when I found out that GG wasn't in today, I had really been debating whether I should message him or not and when to do it. At around 4.20pm, I mustered the courage and messaged him "yoo do you like cookies? I brought some for GG but he's off today pala and I don't want them to go to waste. Do you want it? 😂" He replied a few mins later "nope I'm okay 🙂 thank you though!" Bit disappointed that he said no. I know it's nothing personal but you know ovethinker nanaman kasi 😂 it just made me think, would he reject me when I ask him out? (I actually decided that I'll ask him out end of the month or early July but now idk if that's a good idea.)

I actually didn't see him properly today even though I walked past his area a couple of times so we didn't talk in person. I'll see tomorrow and the following days. I think I need to discern this more.

....

7 Jun

So I saw him today when I went over to GG's. We didn't talk cos I was shy. He probably looked at me briefly because he was facing towards me when I walked over with Vanessa. Mejo nangitim xa 😂 pero cute pa din 😂

But it's funny, Vanessa and I were talking to each other about BCB before lunch. She said he thought he was the same age as her because of how he is as a person (the way he talks and have banters etc 😂) because compared to him, I am very mature. I told him it's probably the youngest child syndrome etc She also said that he seems to easily get moody. Which I've kinda noticed and it's the Gemini in him 😂

Let's see tomorrow if I'll have the courage to talk to him 🤣 nearly 1 month na kami di nag uusap like what 🤣

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

do NOT GO TO LE BAIN NEAR THE HIGH LINE

ur depressed n hungover n the wifi is out at your house even though u pay for it ur roommate scammed the electricity company the entire last year til they just now recently caught on so now we just have to pay but the power was out for a couple hours, either way the summers in bushwick always seem to make ur cell service weird. u kinda feel sad texting ur crush and theyre all green bubbles instead of blue ones w read receipts. it feels alot like hot sugar sinkies with the emo couple that keep missing each other and giving weird hot n cold signs til she od's on xans and he gets clocked in the back of the head w a bottle and all u can see is how they were both typing messages to each other but it never got sent. so u end up oversharing venting at klom klorm and having strangers tell u to start a radio talk show or something and u remember the last time u were here u ordered 4 pitchers of sangrias at 11am with ur friend, left properly tipsy but got a bottle anyway then went drunk thrifting at L train…in between getting ketamine delivered to u it was a fun lil salad.<3 we all go separate ways then link up again for afterparties n drinks, yr sent out to find a vape in midtown near grand central terminal and yr lost AF n kinda feel like a disappointment cuz back in La la land everything is so accescible n u hate coming back empti handed for yr friendz [ur also like never gonna forgive yrself for asking a REAL NEW YORKER a year ago if there were more bodegas in the city in comparison to brooklyn, sigh. whateverz.]

bartschland had a top energy cute fashion party at the standard at the high line near the piers on a tuesday night/morning and yr friends getting too drunk at the pregame and fell to their knees at the club entry while tourists laugh. u cuss out the tourists that are laughing and making fun of ur friendz for tapping out. i hate how mean ppl kan b. like y stand there n laugh while u have access into the club to get water. there needz to be more kindness in the world smh. le bain should let EVERYONE in too but dont ever go to the one near the standard high line anymore.

moral of the story: no matter what ifwe tapped out or not we are always pheonixes never just the flames. and no one can take our light away we wont hide it either under a bushel or rock or however the fuck that song goes, and if ur purse catches on fire u better put it out with ur body.

[christian trauma is very real for meh.]]

but u love yr friends sm so many good memories with them like losing ur sock at bossa nova / blacking out after we mixed molly in our drinks in the bathroom and also tht same nite losing ur FAV bell bottoms ur shitty landlord back in LA left at that overpriced house u rented after graduating college in like FUK they made ur legs look sooo long, u took ur digis for ur modeling agency in them but whatevs.

U've dropped molly w them at 1pm just to celebrate the beginning of bk fashion week at bush terminal park but like we got kinda lost cuz why is it so fucking big and circley to begin with....u sat on what u THOUGHT was grass but it was like a big SPIKEY fucking ROCK and u end up with a big scrape on ur butt. whatever it wuz like kinda kute like a KUTE lil kiss and ur a power bottom anyway…..it all works out for everyone.

meeting Fabio [heart eyes insert] <3 at the kick off event was surreal AF. he gave us a ted talk about ethical non monogamy and almost consentually kidnapped us in his van full of stuff he found off the STREET. hows that for treasure n THRIFTY FINDS street/STOOPING EDITION w splash of hoarding w charitable motives. a brazilian woman stopped me to ask me to model her yellow purse in the mystery van, i guess it was a vibe i did look v much like the prodigy of karl largfield except like much less predatory n masculine.

so sorri to everyone we consistently call n text together when we are drunk n tipsy n rolling, sorri to everyone who had to hear us sing wonderwall by oasis off tune n out of key but no regrets. if u hate it lose mi number. but no regrets, life is better without them. we r all human experiencing human thingz, human desires, human flawz...no regrets!!! even the nite we got covid together at mr purple. many closeted lesbian vibes there n aggressive men from yonkers. the uber ride to the after party was fun tho.

ANNDDD the random gemini boy who was 1/4 racist who took us into this hotel to do blow in and get free hot green tea. v excited for VIXEN MAW's concert june 11th, grindcore is kute n KAWAll.

typing this all on the subway w personal hotspot, never thought i would have the audacity to be one of THESE PPLZ. guy nxt to me is singing sad gurlz love money Bollywood edition while swiping on grindr. i just know i HAVE GOT TO GET HOTTER and stop dating musicianzz. anyway.

GO PARTY ANYWHERE BUT DONT GO TO LE BAIN AT THA HIGHLINE .

[jiminrings]

hi hannah! i may have a request 🥺 i've been watching too much tiktok and this two made me want some jungkook skater au 😳 like the reader saw him and went like love at first sight so she purposely buys a skate and goes everyday to the skatepark and start learning just to impress that hot tattooed skater that kinda looks like a bad boy but he's actually a softie. ♡

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm5Huop/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSm55usm/

late skate

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 7k

glimpse: jungkook would rather wash down his grip tape than spend another hour seeing you land on yOUR ass, a smitten y/n and love at first sight, and tae almost losing his bearings (in all aspects) <3 // gif is from pinterest :D

note: thank you so much for the request babie!!! also i’m sorry since i’ve done this a month late hee-hee bUT but it’s here now!!! fun fact: i used to skate but one time i fell on my ass so hard doing an ollie that i quit ( ˙-˙ )

there is nothing

there is absolutely nothing you hate more than walking home alone and at-

wait u need to shudder

night

times like these make you both angry and scared because fIRST of all

you’re angry because if oNLY (you’re still hoping that u win the lottery soon) you were born to wealth and ease (if you see park jimin one more time in a billboard you’re about to lose it), you wouldn’t have to worry!! or even work for that matter!!!!

you could have a car by now!!!

but you don’t have a car and you’re still saving up for that because you have to keep up with your bills and this nice and decent apartment that you’re living in right now

well if you’re being honest, you are splitting it with yoongi and that cuts back your expenses significantly but that’s besides the point

which is why you’re being extra thrifty!! save up all the money that you could so you could by yourself a car amongst other financial decisions and nOT be scared shitless when walking home

you’re working at the animal shelter most of the time and it’s very fulfilling because of cOURSE!! your job is to care for animals and give them a better chance at everything :D

the pay is more than decent but it’s not the highest sO what you do on your spare time is pick up any job you could!!

and the income that you need is more and more than decent because taking care of chimmy is not an easy feat

chimmy, your alaskan malamute!!! he’s the first puppy you’ve properly taken care of in the shelter and you’ve fallen head over heels for him

he kept bumping into the wall when he scrambles after you call for him but eH you love the clumsy giant still!!

so much so that you file your adoption form for him and run over to mr. kim’s office hurriedly :D

your boss seokjin’s pretty sweet after all but at the same time he’s intimidating!! too sweet and intimidating at the same time that when he approves your form without much question, you almost kiss his cheek

...

.... hehe

jin beat you to it and instead he gave you a side-hug with a very strict warning to take care of chimmy and provide everything that he needs

he eats 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓊𝓂 dog food and you could only assume the amount that he needs because of how he towers

the treats?? one time yoongi got overly-excited to take a picture of him and accidentally left the bag on the ground, and when he came back?? chimmy’s managed to inhale all of them

thankfully he’s only loyal to one (1) toy and it’s to this brown angry... entity..? with one tooth that yoongi’s made by himself

but he constantly has to replace the stuffing because chimmy nOTICES when it’s flat and unstuffed from his own doings

hehehe the grooming.....

you thank your lucky stars that jin gives you a discount to have chimmy groomed!! 

one time you were about to have a breakdown because a $100 grooming session simply didn’t click well with your ongoing budget and you decided to do it yourself :D

spoiler alert: chimmy kept barking at you when you held up the mirror to his face because wOOF did you just... d-did you give him bangs.... how was that possible....

and then sECOND of all is that well.,.,.,

you’re scared and that’s it

there is every possible reason for you to be scared :D

you get off from work at 5!! but now it’s quarter to 8 and you totally should’ve booked an uber but it completely slipped your mind

normally, you wouldn’t walk home alone though because chimmy comes with you to the shelter, and then he serves as a therapy dog of sorts to help ease and calm down the new rescues!!

he even has his own little ID oh my god :’)

but he doesn’t come in everyday and well you remember,.,.

no actually, yoongi REMINDS you that today is his day-off at work and explictly implied that he’d very much love to cuddle with a giant alaskan malamute as he gets his well-deserved rest

and yoongs has been the reason to why you don’t unravel every single day and you owe him for your life so yea okay you can have chimmy whenever you need this giant pillow of support <3

but no

no 

you don’t have chimmy with you and you don’t have anyone to bark and be willing to growl n intimidate any creepy dudes you could possibly encounter on this twenty-minute walk home

the extra coffee you’ve drank at 6 in lieu of dinner does not help at ALL

what if you just... run

that way you get home faster and you won’t have to be that antsy!!!

ok maybe just a light jog would do

you wanna go home so badly and take a shower and be sandwiched between your warm sheets and sleep all the way

you miss chimmy and yoongi and you just hOPE that he’d already cooked dinner and you won’t have processed food again for the third time in a week

and after dinner maybE you could treat yourself to online shopping because yoongs has also been pestering you to let yourself indulge once in a while

your thoughts are jumbled once panicked and it reminds you that yes you should definitely get a car and you know what??? you probably should-

wait fUCK

...

....

oh

wait

hold on a second

did you just manage to narrowly dodge what seems to be a skateboard in mid-air??????

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

said taehyung is jumping down and crouching to pick up the deck at your feet and squeaks an “oop sorry ‘bout that!!” before going back and

well...

mr. “taehyung, you dumbass!!” is who you presume to be the speaker,, because well no one eLSE is in this skatepark at 9 in the evening,,,, is standing RIGHT underneath the light and is right at your line of sight

it’s as if the clouds are opening up and chimmy’s barking could be heard and everything you deem perfect is ringing right in your ears because god.... holy shit.....

he looks and probably feels like a warm-sized bed that smells of baby powder and fresh linen

he has a hoodie on with the sleeves scrunched up and you tHANK yourself that you’ve saved up enough to get lasik eye surgery because those tattoos...,.,. you r positive that they would be your demise

mr. TYD has a loose bucket hat on yet you could still see his features clearly and you aren’t lying when you say he is perhaps the most breathtaking thing you’d ever seen

even more breathtaking than seeing chimmy in the laundry room and having fished for your one good perfect bra in his mouth

oh

huh

you’re pretty sure this is what love at first sight must feel like

suddenly, you aren’t anxious at all and you’re instantly gravitating towards the ramp without much complaint

there’s a bench conveniently placed in which you could see him but he won’t see you

you find yourself sticking around and smiling when you see him goofing around in all good fun

hopefully you don’t look like a cREEP because you swear you aren’t!!!! and hopefully they don’t notice you either and find out then and there that you’re here in a skatepark withOut a skateboard,,, just sitting,,, to see him

this may not be your best idea yet lmao yes you’re gonna admit that

but it’s probably the first and last time that you’re ever gonna see him so might as well watch him for awhile!! that’s all!!!!

ok wait

this is definitely a bad idea because yoongi calls you and you forgOt to put it on silent and it’s his voice that greets you very rudely as soon as you pick up

“y/n where the FUCK are you???”

oh lmao it’s quarter to 10 already

“jeez, i’m coming home!! calm down!!”

“yeah tell that to chimmy who’s been worried sick with me and won’t stop hOWLING!!!”

you’re scrambling to gather your duffel and sneak oNE last look at him and ur practically pouting as you say goodbye to him under your breath 

:((

“... aw, you worry about me?”

you resume back to jogging on your way home and this time for rEAL

you’re gonna miss him

he’s like one of the random dudes you see in the mall that are sO breathtaking and you know you’re never gonna see them again

you didn’t even manage to catch his name :((

but whoever he is, he feels a little more different than a dude in a mall because this time, you feel like you’re gonna cRY at the thought of it

little did you know that jungkook could see you all this time and he’s sad to see you go 

:D

chimmy is the first to leap at you as soon as you come through the door

and if you didn’t anticipate the giant, then you’d probably be toppled over by now

yoongi finds it weird that there’s this lingering gentle smile on your face

well he shouldn’t be so shOcked because he sees you talking to yourself when you’re watching documentaries and cooking

(( he always checks if there’s a camera hidden somewhere in the kitchen and you were vlogging or something but nO!!! ))

it’s like you’re a third-grader again that goes fERAL at just the thought of their crush

you hope mr. tyd has already eaten breakfast and hasn’t had any injuries with his skateboarding

you’re trying to rationalize with yourself that it’s just a stOOpid and pathetic crush to harbor in less than a day and stop thinking about him

the universe must seem to hate aND love you at the same time because well would you look at tHAT

it’s 5 in the afternoon and you have chimmy beside you and you’re walking home

and that’s practically your routine ever since you’ve gotten this job

it would only differ if a situation like last night happens or when you’re too tired to walk home oR when it’s raining

but right now it’s your normal workday, and you’re walking home, and it’s sunny, aND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU’VE SEEN HIM

this is also the first time that you’ve seen him in such a situation that you didn’t expect :O

the fact that you’ve mayhaps watched kimi no nawa last night with yoongi and perhaps 98 times before that, does not help at all

“you uh, y-you wanna go for a run on the grass, chim??”

there’s this mini field besides the skatepark and chimmy happily jUMPS at the mention of grass :D

aha oh well :D would you look at that :D your dog wants to go run on the grass that’s a couple feet away from the skatepark :D who are you to stop him anyways?? :D

chimmy’s more than happy to comply with your wish and vice versa because he’s having the time of his life clearly

he’s your pawman and the perfect variable so you wouldn’t seem like a third-grader with a helpless crush on anOther third-grader

it seems that hE’S more excited than you though because chimmy runs to the ramp instead of the grass!!!

and in the process he goes UP to greet a guy like he does with you whenever you come home!!! it’s harmless pouncing per se

but it’s not entirely harmless because it feels like chimmy knows EXACTLY what’s in your mind and what he’s doing

“chimmy!!!”

.....

...... of course

chimmy has to of cOurse pounce on him

jungkook wasn’t surely expecting a giant and overly-friendly alaskan malamute to pounce on him right when he was about to drop-in

it’s a pleasant surprise either because it’s-

wait

oh my god

is this yOU?????

listen.,.

jungkook was in the skatepark last night with taehyung and they took advantage of it because they were the only ones there!!

tae surely wasn’t kidding when he said that he was a novice because holy sHIT how was it possible that he sent a skateboard flying mid-air after a failed trick??

kook flinches when he follows it in his line of sight and notices that there’s someone down there who might be literally dECKED out of tae’s stupidity

he’s about to yell for this passer-by to dodge and-

time seems to move quicker because you’re already stopping yourself and flinching in place and then looking up

you’re rIGHT underneath this street lamp and jungkook sighs a breath of relief when he realized that you weren’t hit

but at the same time he’s gasping again because wow

t-that’s uhm-

okay

wHEW he has never felt this pressure in his chest ever since he joined a quizbee in 8th grade

would it be-

ok nevermind

WOULD IT BE TOO FORWARD FOR HIM TO SAY THAT HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU ALREADY

you’re really beautiful??? and frankly he has to look away for a second because you’re tOO beautiful that he doesn’t know what to do with himself

that’s it u are under arrest for being too pretty >:(

jungkook’s flustered because there’s just these types of people that put a knot on his chest unknowingly and he doesn’t know how to act normally

you are the equivalent of him not being able to look at the screen because the kdrama was that good and he feels unworthy to even watch it

it’s goosebumps all over his skin and he’d be lying when he says his cheeks are not heating up at aLL

“taehyung, you dumbass!!”

his first instinct is to scold taehyung because what iF he ended up hurting you with his skateboard, hmm?? and tHEN what

he expected you to leave after that close-call and if everyone must know, jungkook has an incredible talent at being able to scope out things in his peripheral vision

he could look straight ahead and be able to see what you were also doing at the side

he doesn’t know if that’s a talent or uH everyone has it but whatever he can do that!!!

and you were clearly still there and in fact, even sIT down on the bench

he could see you smiling and giggling and a ginormous part of him assumes that it’s because of him

he prays to god that it’s NOT the guy who almost decked you with a skateboard ://

jungkook was acting weird and he kept smiling and laughing mORE than necessary and taehyung can see right through him

“bro all i did was walk towards you wtf are you laughing,,.,”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHHA tae you’re so silly XD”

alrighty then,, maybe jungkook just binge-ate his vitamin gummies which is why he keeps beaming for an unknown reason

koo was so grumpy literally just before he had his skateboard flying and now he’s ???? weird

jungkook was ultimately sad to see you get up and he knows he’s probably never gonna see you again ok alright time to mope

but this

this

he’s beyond surprised to see that said owner of giant dog happens to be yOU!! of all the people!!!!

it’s you!

“i’m so so sorry about him!! he’s just excited to make friends with everyone and i don’t have the sLIGHTEST clue why he came to you!!”

you pointedly look at chimmy and he has the audacity to howl before looking away

it hasn’t dawned on you that you’re talking and apologizing to him but it certainly did on jungkook which is why he’s charmingly laughing already

“no, no. it’s okay, i don’t mind!! his name’s chimmy, then?”

you’re blinking profusely because yes.. right.. HE is talking to you

“yeah, uh, correct!! his name’s chimmy :)”

“that’s cute. anyways, i’m jungkook :)”

aha :D

koo would like to think that he is smooth

and yes you agree

you immediately shake his hand tOO eagerly with a smile on your face as you’re trying to take this all in

“i’m y/n :)”

jungkook’s hand is bigger than yours and your hand fits sNUGLY right into his hold

he has some tattoos on his hands and there’s some peaking from underneath his hoodie

but even with ur lasik vision you cAN’T focus because omg are you seriously holding jungkook’s hand.,.,

jungkook as in THEE jungkook that you’ve immediately clocked and crushed on last night in an instant

your lil moment of just holding each other’s hands is interrupted when taehyung pops out of nOwhere

(( actually he’s been there for the past two minutes and he kept switching between cooing and laughing ))

“yO i’m taehyung!!! you must be y/n, i didn’t nick you last night, did i?”

he takes it upon himself to hug you right then and there

well he’s warm and he passes the internal vibe check yoongi’s hotwired into your brain so you reciprocate!! you like hugs anyway and taehyung’s just like chimmy but in human form

jungkook practically squawks and stammers in his place because w-why.. w-what...... no

chimmy bARKS at taehyung and koo is tempted to do the same too because no man you simply do nOt hug my crush that you know absolutely nothing about

“he’s asking for you.”

kook points to chimmy who’s obviously pouncing on you to come run with him

you excuse yourself so you could go satisfy the giant and jungkook felt like his heart was gonna fall out of his aSS

tae wiggles his eyebrows and has his lips pursed and it’s the shit-eating grin that he immediately flips off as soon as he sees it

“what was that all about?”

you are convinced

you are 100% convinced

your head is fully-set into the game and in no way are you gonna back out

“min yoongi!!”

ah there it is

yoongi’s having the time of his life playing fetch with chimmy! what could possibly be any more important in this world than that

“what did i do now?”

you only call out his full name when a) you’re agitated and when b) he’s ignoring you and you’ve had enough of it

he really doesn’t recall giving you the cold shoulder recently

and he certainly didn’t agitated you when all he’s done is play with chimmy and sleep!!!

“please click this for me pls. click. please. pls click.”

aH yoongi should’ve brought his glasses instead of leaving them on the couch

you’re holding out your laptop to him with your arms outstretched and he has to come really close to decipher and-

... huh

“a skateboard?”

pardon him but he’s really lost on this one ok

he is as lost as he was when walmart decided to completely rearrange the whole store

“... and what do you need a skateboard for? y/n when i said that you should get yourself a four-wheeler, i didn’t mean a skateboard-”

in what part does a skateboard look like an SUV

whY are you like this

“it’s for uh... it’s for fun purposes!!”

you’re trying not to raise any more questions in yoongi’s mind but his head is miles miles away now lol

???? you hate trying new things though ???

one time you traded in your beef ramen for pork ramen because the first one was out of stock and throughout the whole meal you kept thinking how much you regretted it

and besides, skateboarding would be the last thing you’d get into!!!

yoongi distinctly remembers that you’d rather choke on chewing gum rather than get your knees scraped

why was that?? because when your knees get scraped, walking and doing everything else?? impossible 

nice try sherlock but the moment you do so much as to not stand up straight?? sIT down?? yeah your knees would give out 

what has got to be something so special that you’d wanna get into skateboarding and risk yourself into getting your knees scraped??

....

....

omg is that what he thinks it is

“... it’s a crush, isn’t it?”

the way you instantly shut him down and practically have to beg him just to press the check out button.,..

aha 

yeah yoongi’s gotten his answer alright :D

whatever this is

or whatever that’s going on

you’re sure that you’ve never felt this content for a long time

you now bring a change of clothes so you wouldn’t go skating in your uniform because that just honestly sucks

you may be too tired to walk to the skatepark which is why sometimes you’d book a ride, but no you’re never tOO tired to skate and see jungkook :D

it’s frustrating enough as it is

yoongi used to skate and that’s the reason why you’ve found this shortcut in the first place because this was where the park was!! you’d always think at the back of your head on wHY was yoongi struggling!!!

smh that’s so easy yoongs </3

joke’s on you now though because trying to balance on the board in the first place scared you shitless because hOW were you supposed to do this??

you can ride a bike and that has tWO wheels and this has fOUR bearings!!! how come you can’t balance yourself??

even managing to stand up on the board without panicking for more than ten seconds AND managing to shift from left to right even if it’s albeit shaky at first, took you a wHOLE evening

but you’re so proud of yourself and so is jungkook :D

jungkook finds it the highlight of his night when you’d hold onto him

yes he knOws you have it under control now and you barely hold onto him for support

“just so you won’t fall, that’s all.”

he always evades your eyes when you go look up at him dreamily like that because how could he not???

you’ve covered the basics of pushing yourself then simultaneously riding the skateboard!!

you do that for one WHOLE week and both jungkook and tae (and yoongi) think it’s time that you do something else besides skate in one straight line and occasionally to a left and a right

ok you’re kind of scared shitless because you already fell a couple of times but y’know what?? it’s time!!

society has progressed past the need of you skating in a straight path

the society NEEDS you to do tricks now

.....

........

confession time:

dear diary the kickflip is simply not kicking the board in an attempt to flip it by itself. it is not. it is not as easy as it sounds. it is the bane of my existence

it’s evident that you’re stalling out of your way with this one but you just need oNE success and that’s it!!! one win to woo jungkook from his feet and then you’d stop

tae has already shut you up too because you keep talking about how your day went when you already is set four times before that

and it must’ve been a lucky first time because you absolutely nAIL it on the first try!!!

you honestly thought you’d land square on your ass and see bruises on it later in the shower but N-O!! you’ve done it perfectly and-

jungkook’s not looking

he didn’t see your feat!!

or maybe he didn’t see it because he chosE not to!!!

OR

maybe doing a kickflip is nothing impressive and it’s obvious that he’s a pro at this compared to you who’s even more of a novice that makes taehyung look like a god

you can’t have that :((

ok ok hOW can you impress jungkook

there must be something you could do to impress him!!

omg

that’s it

this is practically perfect!!

you’re gonna do your first drop-in at a pipe that is nowhere gOOD for a beginner like you :D

one, two, th-

“easy, doll.”

jungkook materializes out of nowhere and you expected him to be skating at the far end!! not mere inches away from your face holding your hANDS

this is the first time you’ve seen jungkook actually this close and you just have this urge to kiss his cheek

he has you whipped for him and he hasn’t even done anything to you!!!

“not the best idea to go down an eight-foot tall half-pipe for your first time, hm?”

he scrunches his nose at your absurd thoughts because absolutely wHY would you do that??

how could you fall in love with him even mORE

“do the two-feet tall one first. go have taehyung teach you.”

the grin in your face goes as fast as it came

no offense to taehyung but he’s not the one your head-over-heels for :((

practically everyone knows about your crush on jungkook BESIDES jungkook himself

you’re tapping tae on the shoulder to come and teach you while you just watch kook shred it at the other side of the park by himself

it’s okay!! progress is progress and you’re gonna get far with jungkook!!

going to the skatepark right after work is now your new routine

sometimes you even come with yoongi when he’s free and he takes all his time to gloat on how you used to make fun of him when he was skating avidly back then

that gives you a grand total of three (3) people teaching you how to skate and giving you pointers

jungkook also now holds conversation from time to time :D

he’d ask you how your day went and you’d have to pretend that you didn’t wait for him to ask so you’re not spilling detail after detail

he now does this thing of pinching your cHEEK when you get something right 

your heart after doing an ollie goes bEEP when he pinches your cheek and tells you eagerly that you did such a good job

yoongi’s laid off his teasing for you and jungkook but god he can’t deny that he gets these weird vibes from him

eh it’s probably nothing

today you’re especially excited because it was an outfit that you just bought and you feel gREAT in it!!!

tbh your day was the absolute worst but jungkook is always a great pick-me-up to whatever day you could have :)

a tennis skirt with shorts already built underneath is the greatest save of ur life

it’s a little on the more expensive side because it IS a name-brand and those don’t come cheap but it’s ok :D it’s gonna be worth it :D it better be :D

oh uhm

jungkook seems different today.... ?

you were used to him looking intimidating and mad even if he wasn’t, but this time it just felt emphasized even more

taehyung’s here but he’s not the only one!!! there’s two guys with jungkook on the other side of the ramp

“those are his friends, i guess?? i don’t know, he hasn’t introduced them to me.”

so you’re nOT the only one who’s lost

jungkook will probably come around later and you could all hang out again :))

chimmy happily chuffs at your side and that just gives taehyung the most wonderful idea he’s ever had this day

“hEY which one of us do you think could out-skate chimmy???”

jungkook is utterly and without a doubt stressed 

he knew that hoseok and namjoon would come over, but he didn’t expect that they’d visit him while he was in the park!!!!

and he already knows what they’re here for and that just makes him grimace :((

“why don’t you want to go pro?”

koo’s ears feel like bleeding when hobi asks him that for the nth time

god it’s always just the sAME question!! he could practically sniff the air on what they’re gonna say next

“jungkook, i think we all know that you’re more than qualified to be a pro!! look at you!!”

it’s the same conversation over and over again

the next things they’d say are that he’s a natural and he’s wasting all his talent doing this thing cASUALLY

he’s not the next tony hawk or anything like that!!! he’s not gonna book a sponsorship and a collaboration with vans!!! but hobi and joon kEEP insisting that he’s that good

“hyung, i think we’ve already talked about this-...”

“yes and you refusE to listen!! why can’t you just accept the fact that you have a much better future in this??”

jungkook’s currently a freelance graphic designer which means he works from home and he’s in charge of his oWN schedule

but it doesn’t necessarily mean that every single day he gets a new commission or anything grand like that

he’s gonna be honest and say that yES he has thought of being a pro skater!! but he’s trying to be as rational as possible about it

because not every competition would be a win and not competitions don’t happen as frequent as a typical job is!!

and what iF jungkook gets injured?? something of an injury that would lay him off from skating 

and being unable to skate??? = he basically gets nOTHING

he feels pressures because hobi and joon are pro skaters already!! and that gives them all the more reason to make jungkook into one

not to flex but uh they’re both quite already kNOWN

and jungkook hasn’t even started his pro career but he’s already known!!! both by his skills and the fact that he’s friends with these two champions

“i literally do not care if you beat me!! just come take the leap and be a pRO already, jungkook!!! it’s a loss as it is that you still consider yourself an amateur.”

their words, not his 

ok uhm what if

what if jungkook opens a skate clinic?? he can do what he loves and in the same time, earn money!!

... yeah

okay! 

that could work!! and if he feels extra prepared, then yeah maybe he’d be a pro

or would a skate clinic be useless if he isn’t a pro by then???

oh my god

jungkook’s so frustrated with all this sudden bombarding and it makes him want to tug at his hair

as much as he loves his hyungs, sometimes they just can’t seem to know when to back oFF and realize that their nudging is more like shoving

“do something productive and worth your time, jungkook. stop babysitting.”

namjoon says with an edge and that tames jungkook

what makes it worse was what they were implying in the first place

hoseok doesn’t make it discreet to look at taehyung and you

“tae, tae, look!! i’m doing it, i’m doing it!!”

you’re saying over your shoulder because omg you’re getting the lead and chimmy’s slowed down for some reason

well actually taehyung’s took it upon himself to stop behind you

“guys?”

you get an immediate answer when you feel someone effectively hALT you still and you almost fall on your ass just by the sheer strength of someone holding you up

jungkook’s holding you down and his hands are quite heAVy on your arms

there’s this unexplainable look on his face but you’re positive that it’s not one of happiness

“you should probably stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing.”

oh

to be honest you’re unsure of how to react

but the way that jungkook looks like he’s mad at you and retreats back to those two guys with a scoff in his step -- 

it’s enough

it’s truly enough for you to reevaluate every decision you’ve ever made

maybe it’s simply not just a bad day for you and a case of overthinking thigs,, and it’s perhaps the fact that he want you to stop

stop whatever that is happening

you probably must be frozen in place because chimmy bounds and pounces at you

you probably must’ve looked like an utter fool,, skating in a tennis skirt and trying to outrace a damn dog in a fucking skatepark,, right in front of jungkook and his friends

“y/n, you uh, y’okay?”

tae’s worried because there’s an instant shift to your mood and he could only assume what you were feeling

tears prick at the back of your eyes and that’s the signal for you to gather your things in a flash because the last thing you’d want is to cRY in front of him

“y-yeah! i’m gonna go home, tae. chimmy’s looking for yoongi.”

the dog in question tilts his head because w hat now,,,.,., wha t,.,. he is???

you learned that dogs could smell emotions and that makes you even sadder

chimmy was behaved the whole time; didn’t even try straying you around when he keeps seeing umbrellas on the street even if he loves them

you’re okay

:)

you should be okay

....

there’s something definitely off

yoongi’s cleaned everything and did his share of chores

the tv is still mounted and the microwave’s clean!!

chimmy didn’t have a toilet accident because if he did, he would’ve already picked it up

there’s definitely something off with yOU

because first of all, why are you here???

“not coming to the park?”

if he can recall correctly, no matter how knackered you were after work, you’d still go to the skatepark!!

... not unless you were injured??

nah because if you were injured then you’d be whining to him now

“nope :)”

you’re lying on the couch where he usually lies nowadays because you weren’t around!!

and you’re drinking from your mug that he’s claimed as his mug

and chimmy’s squished in between the tiny gap of you and the far edge of the couch

“and why?”

he’s always had answers for everything but his mind’s bLANK for this

“wanna spend time with you guys :)”

oh

okay

that’s gotta be the answer, right???

this is definitely weird

for starters, it’s already 11 PM and jungkook’s still in the skatepark and he’s not even skating anymore

he’s just waiting

weird... you aren’t here.......

aH it’s nothing :D you’re probably just tired and didn’t want to go skate

oh and.. you’re not here the next day

or the next

or the nEXT

jungkook spends almost the entirety of his time in the park

he goes there at 3 in the afternoon and comes home at 11 in the evening

no big deal

half of the time is just spent him actually skating and the other is figuring out wHERE you are

uh maybe you’ve started to take ubers now every time you come home??

you’re not walking home anymore and the car would pass by the skatepark and jungkook wouldn’t have a single clue where you are

it’s also this time that it dawns on him that he has no means whatsoever to contact you

he didn’t ask for your number and didn’t exchange socials so he could only gUESS

he can’t come over to your apartment either because he hasn’t walked you home and therefore he wouldn’t know your address

holy shit he’s so dumb and jungkook misses you a lot

like a whole whole lot

he misses you holding onto his shoulders for support and misses your excited grin whenever you nail a trick and had a perfect run

there’s nothing that jungkook could dO besides wait

and miss you so much

and mope

kook doesn’t want to give up and miss a day because what iF you pass by when he’s not there???

he can’t have that and he wON’t have that

he’s just so antsy and he hasn’t had his fix of chimmy bounding towards him and the malamute intentionally pouncing on him whenever he’d drop-in so he could lose his balance

he just needs to see you and your duffel bag and the precious yet beat-up wristwatch you have and-

WAIT

THAT’S YOU!!!

jungkook’s brought his perfume the past few days because he wouldn’t want to be aND smell sweaty when he sees you again

he’s wearing a shirt this time and nOT a hoodie and it’s actually a nice shirt!! the pale orange makes his tattoos pop

he’s also wearing a watch so he could look business-ish and composed and he kinda hATES watches because uhhhh you ever heard of a phone, buddy??

you’re walking striaght and paying no mind at all and to your surrounding and-

there’s suddenly this cRASH in front of you and it makes you recall in response because that came out of nowhere

... and this feels oddly familiar

only this time though, it’s intentional and it’s jungkook who literally tHREW his skateboard down on the spot in front of you

“y/n? wow, what a coincidence!”

you didn’t expect to see jungkook as soOn as you anticipated that he wouldn’t be here

he laughs nervously and he tries not to overanalyze the fact that your face is blank

:|

“yup. totally.”

you’re avoiding his gaze and meanwhile he’s searching desperately for yours 

what is he feeling and why is it hurt and longing at the same time

“can i walk you home?”

the words tumble out of his mouth before he could even ponder over them longer

“i uh, i rEALLY can’t believe i never asked to walk you home!! or even ask for your number!!! but uHhhh it’s late at night and to be honest i don’t have your number and i just need to know that you’re safe and-”

he stops his rambling right there because he realizes that he’s a stuttering nervous mess

you’re a bit speechless because normally you’re the chatty one but this one.,.,,. this one’s a pleasant surprise

“yeah, yeah. okay :)”

he can’t believe either that you agreed to it but he’s immediately gathering himself and swoops your duffel for him to hold

he’s not gonna entertain a single complaint <3

it’s not exactly the most tensioned silence ever but it’s definitely nOT comfortable

“why didn’t you come to the park?”

okay well sHIT you didn’t expect him to be this straightforward

wait no 

you shouldn’t be surprised!! after all, he probably did mean what he said the last time you’ve seen him

what are u gonna say now

well you coulD say that you’re busy and he’d probably fall for it!!

or reiterate the truth that he’s implied and say it with a straight face

“oh. i started intentionally falling on my ass because i missed you,” jungkook spills out of nowhere while waiting for your answer and he now realizes that might’ve been a little awkward

after all he dID admit that he missed you

ahem

“did i uhm... did i say something?”

he rephrases his question and he knows that this was the more appropriate one

your coping mechanism is to kick on the ground as if there were leaves and there are absolutely nO leaves <3

“jungkook, you told me to stop.”

he blinks rapidly at that as he tries to digest your words

he’s trying to backtrack as much as possible and it wasn’t that!!

he simply doesn’t wanna see you hurt

“i can’t explain it but holy shiT i can’t see you hurt!! a-and i know that being hurt in skating is normal but for sOME reason i can’t stand it when i see you in pain o-or-...”

jungkook just can’t explaiN what he feels

“i just -- i just don’t gEt why you’d want to be hurt?? whY are you doing this to yourself??”

you find him ridiculous and this whole situation is just rIDICULOUS

“jesus christ jungkook i did it to try and impress a guy!!”

that earns you a snort and you immediately go defensive

he seems irked and his eyes are just beGGING to be rolled

“who?? taehyung?? the guy who would’ve wiped you out if he did end up hitting you on the head with the deck just a little harder??”

“what? taehyung???” you’re so confused and jungkook hates it even more, “yeah, taehyung!!”

“i like you, jungkook!”

o-oh

uhm

a.....ha

“me?”

he points to himself to which you eagerly nod your head to

“can you excuse me for one second?”

he barely gives you the time to respond because he’s already walking away and biting his arm

he’s actually sCREAMING

you throw your head back because omg did the two of you just basically admit that you liked each other

jungkook jogs back to where you stand a presses a hefty kISS right on your cheek

he’s on too much of a high that he holds your hand and practically drags you along with him because he’s almost skIPPING from how happy he is

“okay. good. nice. very good!!!” he could now sigh in relief because whEW that robbed him off his breath

“because i fell for you when i first saw you.”

jungkook basically has nO filter now and it’s adorable because god he’s just so soft and you now know what’s going and this wouldn’t be just whatever

“huh. imagine if yOU fell for me too at the same time,,,, that would make me piss my pants.”

he cackles because wow he dO be funny :D

he’s turning to look at you to gauge at your reaction and the waY that you’re holding your eye contact with him is all-telling for your answer

oh my god

jungkook is wrapped around your pinky :’)

[toziers]

how about a reddie barn party?

“a barn party?”

“yeah.”

“well what is it?”

mike looks at stan. stan looks at bill. bill, wide-eyed, looks back and forth between the two of them. 

“it’s… a party. in a barn.” stan speaks slowly, though the corner of his mouth twitches like he’s trying desperately not to smile. 

“well i nuh-know that,” bill says in exasperation, and mike lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and laughs, relieved. he knows bill is smart, he knows—the good grades and power essays will prove it—but sometimes bill’s brain cells took vacations. sometimes bill would write the coolest shit in creative writing class: the kinda shit that mike and bev and richie (so, by proxy, eddie as well) liked to read. horror stories, like the slasher films the losers stayed up to watch (ben and stan preferred anything but horror), though bill has a habit of adding corny romantic subplots that appealed more to ben than anyone else. bill would write those, would blow the whole loser’s club away with those, and then turn around and introduce himself as dilliam benbrough. 

his braincells took vacations, but they always came back. 

“i meant what is it fuh-for?” 

mike shrugs. “for fun.”

“why, do you have other plans that day, bill?” stan crosses his arms, and bill grins. 

“i’m in. on wuh-one condition.” 

* * *

“are you kidding me?” eddie scowls. “cowboy attire mandatory?”

“i don’t know why you’re complaining, eds; it’s your fantasy come true. i have two words for you, bro.” richie strikes a pose and the sound of his hand slapping against his thigh is too loud in the small space of the clubhouse. “assless. chaps.”

“take it back, bill, please.” eddie looks at bill helplessly, but bill’s too busy flipping through a Sears catalogue to see it. 

“shuh-should i get classic brown leather style boots? or should i g-go for a buh-bold black instead?” 

bev leans over his shoulder and points to an image on the sheet, her nail polish still wet. “these. they’ll match that plaid you got at the thrifty mart today.” 

eddie turns to mike, eyes desperate, but mike just shrugs. 

“i’ve been looking for a reason to wear my cowboy hat. sorry eddie.” 

richie slaps his thigh again and raises his eyebrows suggestively at eddie. “c’mon cowboy. saddle up, eddie, we’re goin’ full gay cowboy. wanna share a tent with m—.” 

eddie, red with fury (and flushed with embarrassment) punches richie’s shoulder. richie cackles, and cackles, until eddie’s pout twists like he’s holding back his own giggles; until stan turns to mike with a flat look and asks if they can be uninvited. 

“we need eight to square dance, stan.” 

eddie stops mid-tousle with richie and squawks. “we have to dance?” 

bill looks up from his magazine and sighs. “it’s a barn party eddie.” 

eddie flips him off, and this time they all laugh. 

* * *

“oh my god.” 

“wow.”

“holy shit, benny boy!” richie puts his hands on his hips and slowly turns in a circle, surveying the empty barn. “you out-fuckin’-did yourself, now!” 

“richie tozier!” calls a warning voice from the corner, and jessica hanlon gives him the stink eye from thirty feet away. “you watch your mouth while i’m around.”

richie holds up an apologetic hand, though his mouth quivers with the shadow of a smile. “you got it, mrs. h!” 

“nice, richie,” bev smirks. she turns to ben. “seriously ben, this place looks incredible.”

the lights were the hardest part: stringing them up in the rafters, wrapping them around the old wood and across the walls… ben had suffered his share of splinters and spider encounters. it’s a big barn too, and ben’s hands were sweaty from the early june heatwaves (and nerves from the spider encounters). but he’d managed, with the help of mike and his uncle, and now the whole barn was strung with fairy lights and chinese lanterns. 

“it’s dreamy,” bev says, looking ben in the eye as she does. “romantic.” 

ben goes as crimson as the barn and looks at his feet.

“thanks bev.” 

“are you guys gonna’ help set-up or just stand there like raisins on a celery stick?” jessica stands behind the group now, a sheen of sweat on her forehead. “your poor friend is struggling over there and you all are looking at the lights like a bunch of moths.” 

mike turns to where bill’s currently putting up the big banner he and bev painted. well, trying to put up the banner. actually, struggling is really the word he’s looking for. every time bill would get one side taped up he’d walk to the other, but just as he’d get that corner taped down the first side would fall again. mike bites his lip and tries not to smile too wide. 

they all stand there for another few seconds, watching bill continue to struggle, before mike shakes his head and jogs over to help. 

“oh!” bill says as mike pressed his palm to the paper to keep it up as bill fought with the tape dispenser. “th-thanks, mikey.” 

“no problem, bill.” mike watches bill attempt to rip the tape with his teeth. “are you going to the barn party with anyone?”

bill pauses, looks up at mike with the strip of tape still in his mouth. “uhh. the rest of yuh-you guys?”

“i meant as a date.” mike’s face is perfectly calm, but the cage of his rib bones shakes noisily with the thumping of his heart. “are you, you know, going with anyone?”

bill starts fighting with the tape again. “uh, n-no.”

“do you want to go with me?”

bill manages to rip off the tape he needs, and finally secures the poster. mike steps back cautiously from the wall, just in case it decides to fall again. nothing moves. mike looks back to bill, who still hasn’t answered. 

“yes. yuh-yeah.” bill smiles, a soft thing, and nods. “that’d be awesome, mikey.” 

“cool,” mike says, feeling very, very cool. “very cool.” 

* * * 

“whoa, eds, slow down—eddie, damn, what’re you running for?” richie’s keeping up pretty easily with his long legs and therefore long strides, but eddie’s practically jogging at this point and soon richie’s going to have to do the same. “what’s goin’ on, cowboy?”

“don’t cowboy me,” eddie grumbles, his boots making a little click click with every step as the fake spurs tapped against the sidewalk. 

richie stops. “eds, are you mad at me?” eddie’s still walking, albeit a little slower now. “eddie.”

“i’m not mad!” eddie says, madly, though he stops walking too. “i’m just. i’m. ugh!” eddie makes a little noise of frustration and richie tries desperately not to feel so fucking fond about it. “why didn’t you ask me to go with you to the barn party?”

if richie wasn’t already frozen to the spot, that would’ve knocked him out cold. “wh… what? whaddya mean? i’m here, with you, right— “

“but you didn’t ask. you just showed up unannounced like you always do.” 

“well yeah that’s just how it is—”

“but why didn’t you ask?” eddie turns, sparks of red on high cheekbones turned orange in the lamplight. he looks like a puppy, ears turned down and big brown eyes hiding sadness under the brow of anger that covered it. the pieces clicked together in richie’s head. 

“oh. ohhh. i get it.” richie shoves his hands in his pockets. “you wanted to be romanced.” 

“that is not what i said.” 

richie takes a few steps forward. “you wanted me to get down on one knee and lend you my kerchief as an invite to the debutante ball.” richie, playing up the western twang he’s taken on, over-pronounces every syllable in debutante. eddie scoffs to hide the beginning of a laugh. 

“shut up richie, i was just saying—“

“well, mistah edward j. kaspbrak— 

“don’t call me that.”

“— would you do me the honor of bein’ my pardner—“

“i hate you.”

“and accompanyin’ me to the hanlon barn party so i don’t haf’ta ride solo tonight?”

richie’s got his hand cupped under eddie’s chin by now, and the other arm curled loosely around eddie’s waist. in the early twilight glow, richie’s eyes shine with amusement and something else; something that’s always wrapped in every glance sent eddie’s way. love, probably, though eddie’s still scared to say it and richie’s no better. sometimes richie knows he’s in love but he also knows he was in love last year, and the year before, and the year before that one, and every year that goes by richie’s love feels deeper and stronger and real-er. richie used to think love was a peak at the top of a mountain of feelings but being with eddie has him thinking that maybe it isn’t, that maybe love is just a mountain and richie never wants to stop climbing. 

“yes, asshole, of course i want to go to the barn party with you.” eddie’s not even trying to look angry anymore. richie wants to kiss him, and he goes to do so, but the oversized rims of their cowboy hats bump together and it makes them both laugh. 

“gay cowboys sure have it rough, huh?” richie asks. “let’s try that again.” then he tilts his hat back, leans down, and kisses Eddie properly. 

* * *

the lights looked good in the day, but they look downright magical in the dark of night. there’s still a purple tint to the sky, leftover from the stretched out sunset, and though there’s no cracks in the roof to see the stars through, they cast a foggy glow on the grass outside. 

the music is loud, but not too loud, and cheerful, but not overtly so. dancing music, is what it is, and most people are inside making the most out of it. stan’s in there with patty, mike knows—he’d seen them spinning circles around everyone else. mike knows for a fact stan doesn’t take dancing lessons, but the way he and patty swing and dance with such ease and grace makes you think it was practiced. mike just thinks that true love shows in the way you move together. you can always see it in the way people dance. it’s about… well, richie and eddie have it too, and richie’s got two left feet and a tragic lack of the “being able to take things seriously” bone. 

it’s in the way they look at each other, though, the way eddie’s face pulls into a joyous adoration when richie spins him around the room obnoxiously even though he’s telling richie to put me down, put me down! it’s in the way bev brushes her fingers against ben’s when he hands her a cup of punch, and the way ben’s knee lingers when bev’s knee rests against his where they sit on the bench; like every touch is infinite, and worth every second. it’s in the way stan holds patty as they dance, like she’s something to be held, and the way patty holds him just the same. 

fuck, mike knows he’s only eighteen, but he knows what love, true love, looks like. 

“the p-party is inside,” bill says. an adjacent thought to mike’s last, suddenly here before him: bill, in all his plaid and leather fringe glory. mike’s heart, a racehorse poised at the startling line, takes off.

“i needed a break from the line dancing. your mom is kicking my ass.” it’s true. ms. denbrough sure knows how to country-shake it. 

“she was muh-more excited for this than i was,” bill jokes, and then walks the rest of the way from the barn to the edge of the field where mike is standing. 

“you look good.” it’s a bit sudden, maybe, but that thought evaporates when bill lights up with a shy smile. “the cowboy look suits you.” 

“thuh-thanks, mikey.” bill’s hand twitches, like he’s going to reach out, but it stays at his side. “your shirt. it’s a g-good shirt.” 

nice one, denbrough. bill makes a face. 

“i mean yuh-you look strong it it. i mean, handsome. and strong, tuh-too.” bill’s bright pink, and mike couldn’t think him any cuter. “yuh-you know what i mean.”

“i wear this shirt all the time,” mike says, just to see if bill will flush darker. he does.

“yuh-yeah, i know.” 

mike’s eyes flick to the barn and back. out here, the music is muffled, but mike can still tell hear andy williams crooning his familiar tune from the speakers inside. 

“do you want to dance with me, bill?” 

bill’s hand twitches again. “out here?” 

mike nods. bill nods, and mike bets his heart is knocking against his ribs just as hard as the one in mike’s chest. mike offers his hand, and bill takes it, and the next moment mike’s got bill denbrough against his chest as they sway to the easy beat of moon river.

it’s in the way bill steps on my feet, mike thinks. it’s in the way he apologizes every time, even when i just laugh and promise him it’s okay. it’s in the way he keeps apologizing, cheeks flushed and hands curled around mike’s arms, until mike kisses him quiet. 

it’s in the way that mike’s only eighteen, but he knows what love, true love, feels like. 

[bigskydreaming]

regarding actors getting tattooes. how much does covering them all up cost exactly? like, is it expensive or what? i know next to nothing about the whole process except that there’s apparently a lot of people (make up artists, probably) involved

Waaaaaay too many variables involved to have any kind of baseline. It depends on how many tattoos we’re talking about, where they’re located, if they can be covered up by clothes most of the time or if the actor specifically has to be in a state of undress that makes one or all tattoos clearly visible...

Then there’s the matter of is it a show or a movie, are we talking about a main star or a guest star....because yeah, actual covering up of any tattoos that can’t be covered with appropriate wardrobe choices, that’s gonna come down to the make up artists, but like....if for instance we’re talking about a regular star of a show, that show’s make-up crew by the third or fourth time has it down to a science. Make up crews know their shit. They work out a process to cover up things like tattoos as quickly and efficiently and sparingly as possible, so if we’re talking about a recurring role where this has to be done frequently, in the long run its pretty much a negligible cost because they’ll have worked out a way to cover up only the essential areas for any given scene with as little time in the makeup chair as possible.

If like, an actor has a ton of tattoos that don’t fit the role and they need to do a mostly undressed scene, like in just their boxers, or appear to be naked for a sex scene...first off, camera angles are used to ‘cheat’ stuff all the time. On the better sets, the actors in sex scenes are rarely fully naked, but wearing minimal clothing that matches their skin tone. 

There’s literally hundreds of reasons why a director might need to cheat a specific camera angle to account for something like an actor having a tattoo that’ll break continuity if it shows up on screen.....or a person walking by in the background of a city scene where its literally impossible to completely block everything off....or needing to hide the fact that its evening when most of the scene was filmed during peak daylight hours, because that’s how long they’ve been filming and they’re still not quite done....or they have to avoid getting a billboard in the shot because there’s a large brand name or logo they can’t have show up on camera without having to negotiate an agreement with that brand-owner, etc, etc. 

The list goes on. Point being, something like tattoos that need covering up don’t really fall under their own category so much as that they’re just one of a pretty much limitless number of potential variables that filmmakers have to account for when shooting. Like, if you cast an actor in a role, like, that was your choice, you did that, and you did that for their talent or whatever it is about them that sold you on them being the best fit for the part....and that means you get everything that comes with that actor, including their tattoos because like....that’s a person’s body. Hollywood has waaaaay more influence on actors’ physical bodies than is healthy as is, but like, there’s no justification for insinuating that hiring an actor for an ultimately finite role like....means you get to regulate their actual body. You get to hire them or fire them, according to how well they fit the part you cast them for, but you don’t get to hire them AND say ‘now you’re forbidden from getting tattoos or piercings as long as you’re on this show.’

Now to be clear, this doesn’t mean that directors and producers and studios don’t TRY and pull this kind of shit ALL THE TIME. Like if they’re gross enough, there’s no limit to the amounts of control or influence they try and subject actors to....and a lot of actors will cave due to like....the mere fact that for most actors, roles are never something to sneeze at and there’s a lot of things many actors will put up with if they want the role badly enough. And this is gross as fuck, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of powerful people in Hollywood willing to exploit this at any available opportunity. Like the thing is....there is no such thing as a CONTRACT that can enforce like...a studio having authority over what an actor does with their body while under contract...BUT that doesn’t mean various studios or producers won’t PRETEND they can enforce that, won’t look for loopholes, won’t apply pressure or leave things implied or take advantage of actors not always knowing what the studio can or can’t get away with...

But ultimately, the bottom line is even though there is an actor’s union, SAG, that exists to protect actors from things like this.....that can only come into play if an actor actually initiates like....asking the guild to step in and be like hey studio, you can’t fucking do this. And a lot of times, actors just won’t want to risk that because there’s not really any insurance that at the end of it the studio won’t just...blackball them for ‘causing a fuss’. Even a guarantee of job security for an existing role, if fought for, can’t guarantee anything when it comes to future roles from a studio...or whomever else listens to that studio about so and so being ‘difficult.’

Which sucks, obviously. But a huge part of why Hollywood culture is the way it is, is because people so rarely even INVOKE the guild’s power to protect actors from predatory business practices, because it simply can’t account for repercussions to an actor’s career longevity. Bleh.

But again.....the ACTUAL REALITY is that like....you hire an actor who has tattoos that ‘break’ the role or character? Its your responsibility to find a way to make it work, no matter how much time or money that costs in terms of time in the make-up chair and the make-up crew’s labor, or if you have to get really creative about cheating scenes or even just really thrifty about how many scenes require the actor wearing wardrobe that displays the tattoo(s) in question. If its really difficult to cover up with make-up, or really time consuming, that’s a large part of what photo doubles are for. Actors hired because they have the same body type and general appearance as the regular actor, and ‘step in’ to film the scene or specific scene angles that requires their bare skin be on full display....but just with the camera angles cheated so that they never capture the photo double’s face onscreen. 

And essentially, that’s the same basic principle as using stunt doubles, so if you know how to film a stunt double’s scene without capturing their face onscreen, you can use a photo double just as versatilely, for scenes where the actor has to be naked or in their underwear or shirtless. And photo doubles tend to be a relatively cheap option for studios and film crews, because if you know you’re going to have to use one and plan properly in advance, you can cut costs by having the regular actor filming close-ups of another scene with your A crew, while your B crew shoots footage of the MUCH less expensive photo double, since they’re only used for visual scenes or footage, since obviously their voices would break the character every bit as much as their face showing up onscreen.

You’ll hear producers or directors or showrunners bitching about what a nightmare it is to cover up this actor or that actor’s tattoos on a show or movie, but like. Whatever. That’s just them being cheap and petty because they were inconvenienced, not because the actor did anything wrong by like, having or getting tattoos, or anything that the studio/director/showrunner ultimately knows is still their job to account for or work around....same as it is to account for or work around every other variable that pops up during a filming - let alone ones that they knew about before casting a particular actor.

[spectrumscribe]

Three Days to Live (preview)

hey all, as you have seen on my blog, i’ve been gone a lot lately so i could write a massive new fic for the @tmnt-big-bang that’s coming up. however! the end is within sight and the comp is currently just waiting on artists to claim spots as illustrators for the fics.

i’ve also gotten permission to release a preview of my own fanfic for the tbb, so here you go guys, have some “futuristic dystopian hitmen turned bodyguards” au. (rottmntverse with minor use of 2012 tmnt characters)

Mikey hums softly to himself, pushing the cleaning cart along the plush carpet of the hallway. Even with how many fancy upper-class hotels he’s worked in, each new one never fails to impress him. And this one even has the sort of aesthetic appeal that appeals to his aesthetic. It’s swanky, but at the same time, not as soullessly gold plated as some places are.

Still. He’d mix it up with a dash of street art and thrifty furniture. Kind of like the place he and his brothers live in. Having a good balance of what they grew up with alongside everything they have now is just… aesthetic.

“Room 324, Mike. Coming up on your right.”

Mikey nods imperceptibly, not responding directly to the voice in his ear. As he reaches the suite, he gives his hijab and apron one last adjustment, and then knocks.

“Housekeeping,” he says, modulating his voice to be the right blend of young and old. Harder to identify in recording, even if someone managed to get an audio of this.

“Just a minute!”

Mikey waits patiently, and has a kindly, apologetic smile on his face when the door opens. The young lady on the other side of the doorway has her hair in two pigtails, each a perfect dark cloud. Red rimmed cat’s eye glasses are perched on her nose, almost distracting from the very faint freckles across it. Her outfit, while casual formal, is very obviously expensive.

April O’Neil smiles at him. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t know I was due for cleaning just yet.”

“Oh, no, that’s alright,” Mikey replies, adding an accent in the right places. “We’ve just been quickly today, you see? Everyone on this floor has very clean rooms.”

“I’m sorry to say I won’t be one of those people,” O’Neil says wryly. She steps back from the door, moving inside. “C’mon in, ma’am. I’ll give you my trashcans and take care of everything else myself. I’m not gonna make you pick up my dirty clothes or anything.”

“Thank you,” Mikey replies, ducking his head and pushing the cart halfway inside the room; casually nudging the door to shut quietly behind him. Not standard behavior for cleaning ladies, but standard enough for his line of work. Removing the easiest exit from the room.

He bustles through the suite, admiring the fine crystal of the light fixtures and the sleek design of the furniture. Everything is milky and warm colored, ranging from cream to darker browns. Hints of gold on fixtures really bring it all together, connecting the overall look of the room.

“God, I’m so sorry for the mess,” O’Neil is saying, walking around one half of the small living room her suite has. She’s kicking clothing piles into larger piles, grabbing them up and trying to get them out of sight. “I’ve had such a hectic schedule lately, I haven’t had time to clean anything.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Mikey replies brightly, shooting her a smile. “It’s my job to clean up after you people.”

“Right, right. You better get paid for dealing with messy assholes like me; you definitely deserve it.”

Donnie scoffs. “With the kind of fallout you people leave us to deal with? You bet we deserve a decent paycheck.”

Mikey silently agrees with his brother as he bends to pick up the first trashcan. Man, even the trashcans in this place are better than everyone else’s. He takes the half full can with him as he heads back to his cart, dumping out its contents of meticulously shredded paper and takeout boxes. Interesting mix! Mikey is pretty sure Donnie would have a field day with the paper’s written contents, but sadly, that’s not what he’s here for.

He follows O’Neil’s movements with his hearing, noting that she’s drifting back towards him. She’s making pleasant casual conversation, talking about how the rainy weather lately has been awful for her hair and asking how Mikey’s been dealing with it.

“Oh, it’s not too terrible,” Mikey says, reaching under his apron. “Braids help keep the frizz down.”

“If I had time and energy for that, I’d probably set myself up with that style again.”

If she wanted braids, she really should have done it before Mikey got here.

Oh well. Maybe they’ve got salons in heaven. Or hell, given her family background.

“I know a good stylist,” Mikey says, “and I could hook you up if you wanted.”

“Yeah? Hit me with the details; I got my phone right here.”

“Sure,” he says, smiling. “But one thing first.”

Mikey turns, pointing the barrel of his handgun and its silencer at April.

Her fist shoots out, diverting the shot.

Mikey blinks- blocks the next attack, tries to realign his shot with the target, has it diverted with a well-timed slap to the wrist, then fails to break the startlingly strong twist to his arm, loses his gun- and yelps as knuckles meet his nose, stumbling backwards as the past two seconds catch up with him.

“Ow,” Mikey whines, feeling his nose spurt blood. “What the hell, lady?”

“You’re saying what the hell to me?” O’Neil says incredulously. Her foot shoots out and Mikey narrowly avoids the kick to the kneecap. April moves fast and brutal- punches aimed precisely and only diverted by the slimmest of margins. Except Mikey is unprepared to suddenly be in such a fight, and feels himself slip up.

Targets aren’t supposed to fight back like this. Pampered rich kids aren’t supposed to fight back like this.

Mikey makes an embarrassing rookie mistake, and trips backwards over a stupid little coffee table. O’Neil stands over him, panting and still holding her fists ready to fight.

“Jeez, girl, you treat all your cleaning ladies like this?” Mikey gripes, smarting in both body and pride.

“Not all my cleaning ladies try an’ kill me,” O’Neil snaps. “Also, your camograph nose is sideways.”

Mikey touches his face. He can’t properly feel the holographic camouflage mask, but the reaction is automatic. He scowls, stripping off the thin microfabric on his features and tugging the hijab off while he’s at it; dropping the façade of a middle-aged cleaning lady entirely.

O’Neil shoots him an extra disgusted look. “And fyi, using a disguise like that is just plain rude to people who actually follow the religion.”

“How do you know I’m not a follower of this particular holy book?”

“Are you?”

“Nah.”

“Well, alright then.”

Mikey is not expecting the crazy lady to try body slamming him, but with how the past half a minute has gone, he probably should have.

He rolls out of the way, getting on his feet and taking advantage of O’Neil’s prone position. He grabs her around the neck and shoulders, hauling her backwards and trying to strangle her. She responds by slamming the back of her skull against his mouth, splitting his lip and sending sparks across Mikey’s vision.

She elbows him in the ribs, wrestling herself free and making for the gun on the floor. Mikey recovers in time to give chase, tackling her away from his weapon and sending them both to the floor all over again. He tries to punch her, and she fucking bites him on the arm. Mikey hisses and swallows a cry of pain, punching O’Neil in the stomach with a quick series of harsh jabs and forcing her to let go- but not without her tearing the fabric of his dress, and leaving a swelling bitemark underneath.

He gets off her, scrambling for his gun and snatching it up off the carpet. When he turns to fire, a vase clocks him right in the face.

His nose is going to be a mess of bruises after this, won’t it?

Mikey feels a hand grab his, trying to wrench the gun out of his grip, and he snarls and fights back- both of them catching each other’s opposite hands as they try and get the advantage. O’Neil is giving him a fierce glare as she fights him, surprisingly strong as they hit a stalemate, neither of them giving an inch as their arms shake with effort.

“You…” Mikey grits out, smiling nastily at his target, “are bein’ a real thorn- in my side- right now!”

“Says the guy- that’s here to kill me!” O’Neil hisses back.

Then, she and Mikey break the stalemate simultaneously, both of them trying to knee the other in the gut and colliding as they do. They rip away from each other, the pistol going flying as O’Neil scrapes her nails along Mikey’s wrist, forcing him to release it as they dart away from one another.

Mikey realizes that Donnie has been talking to him this entire time, but his focus isn’t on whatever his brother is saying. It’s on taking O’Neil down.

Besides, if he can’t salvage this on his own, his brothers will totally bug him about it forever.

Mikey runs for his gun, which has landed under the legs of a plush chair by the wide windows of the room. It’s as his grip closes around it again that he hears the whine of electricity charging.

Mikey whirls, raising his pistol to take the shot, but yelps and has to dodge as what he swears is a bolt of lightning blackens the chair, filling the air with the acrid stench of burning. O’Neil’s glasses shine as she aims the gauntlet she’s retrieved, the palm of it glowing as it charges and fires again.

Mikey keeps moving, avoiding the blasts, thanking his lucky stars that he’s the best gymnast in his family. Even with the gun clutched in his hand and wearing an ankle length dress, he nimbly avoids being shocked by the electricity, vaulting furniture and moving in ducks and leaps. Mikey overturns the small dining table as he reaches it, getting behind it and using it as support as he lines up a quick shot and fires.

O’Neil is on the floor before the gun has even gone off, taking shelter behind the couch. Mikey pants, keeping his pistol trained on where O’Neil’s head might appear. He takes the racing adrenaline inside himself and breathes it out in a slow gust of air, easing the slight tremor in one hand and settling his heartrate.

“MIKEY, god dammnit, ANSWER ME!” Donnie yells in his ear, finally breaking through the storm as it clears from Mikey’s head.

“I’m good, Don,” Mikey says softly, licking his lips as he watches April’s hiding spot. “I just… hit a small snag.”

“I’m sending Leo- and Raph, too, actually. Fuck, fuck it, we might as well all go-”

“No!” Mikey says. “No, dude, seriously I got this.”

“It really doesn’t sound like it.”

Mikey’s face gets hot, frustration rising with his embarrassment. He’s just as capable as his brothers, more so in some aspects, and he doesn’t want to beg help off his older siblings over one measly rich lady getting a few lucky shots in-

Mikey jerks as something flies up into the air from the couch, arcing towards him- he moves to flee before he realizes it’s not a bomb but instead a pillow, but even still he can’t be too careful, who knows what’s inside that pillow-

Mikey realizes his mistake right after, as he leaves the meager protection of his dining table.

The pillow gently hits the carpet floor with hardly a sound.

Mikey hits the carpet a lot harder and louder, shocked right in the center of his chest as his target takes advantage of his stupid choices.

He doesn’t hear Donnie’s voice as his eyes roll up into his skull and he collapses on the floor. Mikey doesn’t hear anything but ringing as he passes out.

.

.

.

.

.......and now we all have to wait for the artists to claim this piece, and for me to finish the latter 20% i haven’t written of this big boy.

[ckret2]

Chicken Salad

Fandom: Borderlands, pre-canon Characters: Zer0 and an OC invented to be observer Words: 2900 Summary: An assassin doesn’t get the kind of jobs that rack up a 32 billion bounty without first doing a few low-profile hits. Tonya’s abusive ex was one of the earliest—a job with the offered reward of a mere hot meal. Notes: I like the idea Zer0 rising from a nobody to assassination infamy, so I might write some more one-shots along these lines exploring different points on that journey. Also: when Zer0’s voice is described as freakishly deep in the fic, I specifically mean way deeper than it ever is in canon. Gotta play around with those vocal settings before finding something that feels fitting. Warnings: There's a few vague allusions to past stalking and past abuse, but none happen in fic and the abuser ain't present.

With her grocery bags balanced awkwardly between one arm and one forearm, Tonya had to rub her thumb over her apartment door's greasy old lock five times before it registered her print. Adjusting her grip on the bags, she pushed the door open with one shoulder, clicked on the light with her elbow just a second before the door swung shut, and with a small scream dropped her groceries.

There was a person squatting on her kitchen table.

She was so paralyzed by shock she couldn't even think of how to react. All she could do was gape and ask, "Who—? Who—?"

The person was dressed top to bottom in all black—jeans and hooded windbreaker and gloves, even a ski mask and goggles—and was just crouching there, arms crossed loosely, resting elbows on knees. No, not resting on knees. There was a sword, glowing blue, resting across knees; arms resting on sword. "Your name is Tonya?" It was the deepest voice she'd ever heard, far too deep for this spindly invader. "I'm here about the bounty." He held out a folded scrap of yellow legal pad paper. "The one you posted."

She backed up against the door, too terrified to think of opening it and running. "Oh shit." Her ex.

Three months ago, she'd finally managed to leave him. She'd been penniless and friendless. He'd stalked her halfway around the city, tracked her down to the shelters she'd found (not hard, there were only two in town) and lurked outside, only to disappear before any authorities arrived. In desperation, she'd gone to town square—the real town square, not the unwanted Tediore-sponsored square in front of city hall—and left a note on the job board: her ex's name and address, a promise to cook a hot meal for anyone who "got rid" of him (all she could offer), and her name (she had no permanent address to list). The next day, she'd gotten cold feet—okay, understatement, she'd been terrified beyond belief that someone who knew her ex would find it and tell him—and had gone to the board to remove it. But by the time she'd gotten there, it was already gone, along with half the other jobs.

She'd told herself that some civic-minded passerby had been looking over the board and tore down any jobs that looked illegitimate or flimsy (or immoral, if the passerby happened to be someone who wasn't down with murder). But she'd always feared—always—that maybe he'd been following her that day, and maybe he'd seen her post the bounty, and maybe he'd taken it down himself, and maybe he'd started plotting revenge.

And now here someone was.

Two months ago, Tonya had moved halfway around Janus Alpha. A cousin had helped her get a new job, and a hacker she'd known in high school had helped change her name. But he'd still found her. He always found her. And he'd sent someone to do to her what she'd tried to do to him, or—worse—to drag her back to him.

"You were hard to find." He stood up, half-hunched on the table, taking his sword in one hand. He had a long, huge rifle strapped to his back. "An unexpected challenge. Appreciated." He jumped down. His heavy combat boots crashed on the cheap fake wood floor, and she jumped.

"I'm—! I have a—" She groped in her purse for her Tediore shocktase—a thrifty girl's best friend™—but he kept walking toward her, relentless.

"He wasn't as hard." The invader raised his sword, and she flinched back, pressing harder against the door; but he only sheathed it, and reached into the pocket of his black jeans to pull out a photo. She saw her ex's face, and flinched again; it took her a moment to register that there were several inches between his face and his neck. And then she just gaped. "Photographic proof, for you." He shook the photo. Dumbly, she took it. "I've come to collect."

Collect. Collect. He'd done her job. He'd killed— Her ex was dead. He was dead. He was gone forever. She'd—made it happen. She'd hired a hitman. She was safe.

Tonya gaped at him. And then his words registered. Oh, collect! His pay!

She looked down at her grocery bags. One was soaked in the red gore of a broken bottle of spaghetti sauce. "That was it."

"Ah."

"You can come back tomorrow?" she offered. "Or I can make us sandwiches."

"I'll take the sandwich."

He sat on the kitchen table, observing, while she made the sandwiches. She could feel his hidden eyes on her back. Watching her. Sizing her up. For what, she didn't know. In case he had to kill her? In case he wanted to kill her?

Somehow, the thought didn't scare her. It was amazing how fast a heavily-armed stranger stopped being terrifying once you knew he'd killed your abusive ex for you. Or maybe it was the shock.

He'd decided on a chicken salad sandwich.

She hoped he was okay with plain white bread, the ultra cheap kind made with synthetic flour. It was all she had. "Do you want it cut?"

"Four triangles."

Between her construction of one sandwich and the next, he hopped off the table, walked up behind her, and took a towel at the edge of her periphery vision. For a moment, just a split second, she was sure he was going to try to strangle her from behind. And the only wild, panicked, irrational thought she had, trained into her by her ex, was don't let him know you know what he's about to do or he'll get madder; and so, with heart pounding, she kept making her sandwich. But he returned to the table. When she glanced back, he was wiping off the surface of the table where he'd been crouching when she came in.

Well. She appreciated the gesture, but she wished he'd grabbed a wet paper towel to wipe it down properly. Or, better yet, not stood on her table in the first place. It was a rickety metal folding table, she was lucky the legs hadn't snapped. She turned back to the sandwiches. "Why were you waiting on my table, anyway?"

He made an impossibly deep I-don't-know noise. His voice wasn't real, she thought. He was using some kind of voice disguising thing. Could be a Maliwan body mod—but by the looks of him, he couldn't afford such luxuries. He was trading murders for hot meals, for goodness's sake.

Speaking of— "D'you want your sandwich nuked?"

"Eugh. Chicken salad?"

She huffed. "Well, I promised you 'hot.' I can throw in a can of tomato soup?"

"Fine."

"Great." She pulled a can out of a cabinet, popped the lid, and dumped it in a bowl. It was cheap, watery stuff, but she'd never promised a good hot meal.

As it heated up, she leaned back against the kitchen counter, and surveyed her visitor. God, he was skinny. No wonder he'd gone for the hot meal, and tracked her halfway around the planet to collect on it. His thinness hadn't really registered for what it was when she'd first seen him, except one more thing that made him look a little more uncanny and a little more dangerous—but now that she was looking at him as a person, not as a dangerous bloodthirsty burglar who was about to slit her throat with a sword designed to cauterize the wound even as it was being made… Nobody got that skinny naturally.

Tonya had been that skinny a couple of months ago—sunken eyes and bony wrists and ribs that could cast shadows. A slight breeze was enough to chill her to the bone. (She didn't look that much better now, to be honest, but at least she was starting to move in the right direction.) And she was a good foot shorter than this guy. What kind of life had he lived? "… What's your name?"

He stared at her (she assumed he was staring at her, anyway), and shrugged.

"Seriously? Then I'm gonna call you Chicken Salad."

He shrugged again.

"All right. If that's what you want."

The microwave beeped. She balanced the soup bowl on the edge of Chicken Salad's sandwich plate, and carried both plates over to the kitchen table. "Here you go. One hot meal. Not sure it's worth a human life, but…"

She looked down at the cheap synthetic bread and watery soup.

"… No, I guess this is about what his life is worth."

"Heh."

No regrets from him, she supposed. But he was a professional. Supposedly. He didn't look very professional, but he sure had a professional's sword and a professional's rifle.

Tonya wondered when her regrets would kick in. You're supposed to feel regrets, right? If you kill someone—or get someone killed—aren't you supposed to regret it? Nightmares and guilt and stuff? When did that kick in? Maybe tonight, when she tried to sleep. It hadn't kicked in yet, at any rate.

She sat down in front of her plate, he slung his rifle off his shoulders and hung it on the back of his chair to sit in front of his, and she looked up at Chicken Salad. "So, are you gonna…" She pointed at his face and gestured up, implying lifting his mask. "Are you gonna eat, or…?"

To her surprise, instead of lifting his mask, he reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a black bandana. For a second, she thought he was going to tuck it into his windbreaker like a bib—but instead he tied it around his face, just over his nose, and then reaches under it to push up his ski mask. Tonya could only stare in complete and utter amazement as, disguise thus altered, he very carefully stuck one triangular quarter of the sandwich under his bandana and, presumably, into his mouth.

He devoured the quarter in three bites—she wasn't even sure he stopped between them to swallow—and looked up at her. "What?" She quickly looked at her own sandwich. And in her peripheral vision, he picked up and devoured another quarter of the sandwich, just as quickly.

What was he hiding, she wondered, for him to cover up like that, even when eating, even when in front of the person who had hired him to kill somebody?

Her first thought was that maybe Chicken Salad did this for her because she'd hired him to kill someone. Maybe to stop his clients from being able to identify him later to people who wanted to kill him. But, no, she didn't think he'd done this just for her. Chicken Salad had come prepared with the bandana, he'd made the adjustments too fast, and he'd devoured half his sandwich too adeptly for this to be his first time eating like this. And surely he didn't usually have dinner with his clients.

Or, then again, maybe he did. Images flashed through her mind of cinema-worthy scenes of expensive restaurants, the interior decor black and red and rich, patronized by CEOs and stockholders who wanted to discreetly hire assassins, saboteurs, and mercenaries. But, no. If this guy was snatching up job board postings with only a very loose definition of pay, he wasn't getting classy jobs from executives.

Either way—either way, Chicken Salad had come prepared to hide his identity even while he was eating. So, how afraid was he of being identified?

And she was sure that was what it was: fear. She understood fear like that. Until he'd handed her the picture of her ex, she'd lived with fear like that. The fear of being followed, of being found. Nothing was more terrifying than being recognized.

Who did a six and a half foot tall hitman with a sword and a sniper rifle who killed men in exchange for sandwiches and soup have to fear being recognized by?

… How hungry did a six and a half foot tall hitman who was skinner than some toddlers have to be to kill a man in exchange for a mere sandwich?

He probably wouldn't appreciate if she asked.

In the time she'd spent contemplating Chicken Salad's fears and hunger, he'd finished his sandwich. She'd only taken a couple of bites out of hers. "...Do you want another?"

"Yeah." Without waiting for any further permission, he walked into her kitchen, pulled out her bread and remaining chicken salad, and started making his own sandwich.

"Oh, oh okay, that's—yeah. That's fine." She turned back to her own sandwich.

"Do you have straws?"

"Uh—yeah, the cabinet over the sink." With a jolt, Tonya realized, "Sorry, I didn't get you a drink, did I?" She turned toward the kitchen, as if she could see through the fridge door to see what was available besides water. Had she even refilled the ice tray lately? "Do you want me to get you something to—"

"No." He sat back down, with a sandwich and a straw, and stuck it into the soup.

Oh. God. He was gonna—well, of course. He'd just make a mess if he stuck a spoon under his— But, a straw— in the soup—

She looked up at the ceiling, staring at the flakes in the paint, to prevent herself from laughing at a man a foot taller than her who killed people for a living.

When she looked back down, he had his sword out, and was delicately using the tip of it to slice his sandwich into quarters. The edges he sliced sizzled as they made contact with the blade.

Tonya bit her lip.

Chicken Salad made an absurdly deep frustrated sigh, and muttered disparagingly, "Hot chicken salad."

Tonya burst out laughing.

When her fear of being stabbed in anger finally reasserted itself strongly enough to force her to restrain her hysterical laughter, he was staring at her, silently. She waited, breath held in dread, to find out how insulted he was.

All he did was say, "Heh."

They continued dinner in silence. Once Tonya caught sight of Chicken Salad drinking his soup with a straw, almost choked on her sandwich, and made him splutter into the straw and splash some soup on the table.

At the end of dinner, as they were cleaning up—he still wasn't using a wet paper towel as he cleaned the table—she asked him whether he had somewhere to stay. She certainly wasn't about to let a hitman who'd broken into her apartment stay the night; but she'd convinced herself now that he was afraid, hungry, and hunted, and she knew those feelings too well to feel comfortable turning him out without knowing he had somewhere to go.

But he said, unconcerned, "Hotel or bus stop, alley or homeless shelter; I will find a place."

"You don't have a home?" The question was only confirmation of what she'd suspected for quite a bit now. Black clothes hid old uncleaned bloodstains and frayed cuffs, but not completely.

"Don't need one," he said confidently, either like he actually believed or like he desperately wanted to.

Well, if Chicken Salad was used to making his own arrangements, Tonya didn't think it would be wise to stick her neck out any further for him. This was it, then.

He clearly had reached the same conclusion, because glanced at the door.

"Thank you," Tonya blurted out, and he paused. "I don't think I ever actually said—thank you. For... doing the job. It means more to me than I can say. It definitely means a lot more than a couple of sandwiches and some runny soup. I'm sorry that's all I had to offer." 

He stared at her while she spoke, but glanced away when she finished, with a shrug. "The job's its own reward," he said gruffly; and if he'd left it there, she could have thought he meant the emotional satisfaction of helping a poor scared girl get out from under the shadow of a monstrous ex. "Although killing him was dull, tracking you was fun."

A chill settled on her neck and shoulders like a thin dusting of snow; and Tonya had to remind herself that, while it was true that somebody who'd kill a man for a hot meal was at least an 8 out of 10 on the desperation scale, it was also true that he probably scored pretty low on things like empathy, or value for other people's lives. Even though she knew she shouldn't ask, she did: "So, is—is that why you're a hitman, then? Because it's fun for you?"

She wasn't sure she'd quite kept all her trepidation out of her voice; but if she hadn't, Chicken Salad didn't acknowledge it. "You know what they say," he said, and then paused, as if trying to work out exactly what it was they said. "If you do what you love you'll—never work a day." There was a strange hitch between his words, a pause in the sentence that didn't belong there.

And without anything else to say, he turned toward the door again. This time, she let him leave.

Tonya stepped half into the hallway behind him, and watched as he headed down the hallway. She wasn't sure why—to make sure he didn't vanish the moment he left her apartment, maybe. To make sure he was real. To make sure the job was really done and she was really free. He paused at the end of the hall, turned to look back at her a moment, then took the stairs up. She wondered what he planned to do upstairs. Maybe jump from rooftop to rooftop instead of walking around like a normal person, that'd fit his whole... vibe.

She never saw Chicken Salad again.

No matter how long she waited for the regret to kick in, she  never felt guilty for putting out a hit on her ex.

Fic also available on AO3, link in my sidebar.

[osmw1]

Dimension Wave   Chapter 11 — The Second City

—Ilphy, The Second City

“So, are you the brother of Tsugumi?”

After the hunt, we went to the second city as it was close by. Then, while I was in the middle of splitting up today’s bounty, Shouko interjected with a ‘Perhaps, are you…’ about me and Tsugumi. It’s obvious, eh? Our names, I mean.

“Ah, yeah. She wasn’t a bother or anything to you, was she?” “Not at all. She is a spirited and wonderful girl. We might not have been able to unlock the city without her help in the fight. I cannot thank her enough.” “Oh, I’m glad then. When Tsugumi games, she can get a little carried away. We might meet her some time again, so don’t take it to heart if she rubs you the wrong way.”

I thought they just had fought together as allies, but apparently, they’re acquaintances. Shouko had seen her hunting quite a few times before, so maybe Tsugumi might know of Shouko as well.

Anyway, back to the items. If there’s no need or greed system in an MMO, then obviously, someone has to distribute the wealth to the party. There are even some games that randomly gives the items to each party member. Dimension Wave uses a system that I’m familiar with. But unfortunately, we didn’t get any rare items, so I just send her half of the bounty through the trade window.

“I apologize for putting you through all this trouble.” “Whatcha talkin’ about? I was totally relying on you in combat. This ain’t nothin’ in comparison.” “Well, then, you have my gratitude. This small fortune is all thanks to you.” “It’s worth partying up just to hear that from you.”

Thank you, gutting weapons. Speaking of which, as promised earlier, we decided to never mention anything about how the gutting weapons work. You never know who’s listening in. Still, for any other MMO, there would be strategy guides for FAQs online, so I’m sure it’s available somewhere already. But, don’t forget the “second life” aspect of Dimension Wave.

“Whatcha gonna do now, Shouko?” “Let me see. It has been two hours since, so I shall allocate my Mana then go out again. Would you care to join me?”

I had forgotten about it until she mentioned it. I always forget to spend my Mana. Lemme take a good look at my status since I so rarely open it up. Not to mention, Energy and Mana are both so important to us Spirits.

“Hmm… the sun’s setting soon, so is there a particular reason why you’re going?” “There is a place that is only available from eight—rather, from 20:00 till the morning. It is tremendously efficient, Energy-wise.” “I see… if you’re alright with me holding you back, then I’ll take up your offer.” “It would be my pleasure to go together.”

After a short break, we headed out for another hunt. Before I forget, I open up my status screen. It’d be a pain if I forget to use my Mana.

Name/ Kizuna†Exceed Race/ Spirit Energy/ 19,740 Mana/ 1,650 Serin/ 109,230

Skills/ Energy Production VIII, Mana Production V, Fishing Mastery IV, Gutting Mastery III, Transmutation I

Unlocked Skills/ Energy Production IX, Mana Production VI, Fishing Mastery V, Night Vision I, Helmsmanship I, Naval Combat I, Cleaver I, Speed Gutting I

I’ve got seven skills that I haven’t acquired yet. Helmsmanship and Naval Combat isn’t even worth my time looking at it. Night Vision does exactly what it says on the tin. It would be useful for fighting in the dark. I needed to be active for more than 24 hours at night to unlock it. The remaining two weren’t there yesterday, which means I unlocked them today. Let’s see what they do…

Cleaver I The basic offensive skill for gutting-type weapons. Deal additional damage when severing bones or joints. Consumes 50 Energy per use. Costs 200 Mana to acquire. Unlock requirement: Defeat 100 or more enemies with gutting-type weapons. Upgrade requirement: Defeat 500 or more enemies with gutting-type weapons.

Speed Gutting I A self-buff to gutting-type weapons. For a set duration, grants a self-buff to shorten the required time for gutting. Consumes 100 Energy per use. Costs 300 Mana to acquire. Unlock requirement: Gut 100 or more enemies with gutting-type weapons. Upgrade requirement: Gut 500 or more enemies with gutting-type weapons.

Looks like they’re both skills to be used in combat or out in action. Cleaver is obviously a combat skill and I could even say it’s necessary for battle. It’s always been Shouko activating offensive skills and using her Energy up. Gotta thank her for that later.

Back on topic, I need Speed Gutting too, don’t I? The biggest problem of today’s hunt was the downtime when I’m gutting. Shouko has no choice but to just loiter around. I’ve got no choice to do it considering the money we make from the items, so this skill will help us out, even if only a little. Of course, it’d be useful for solo play too since it would suck to get attacked in the middle of gutting. Yeah, this is necessary.

I acquire the two skills without any hesitation. Luckily, I don’t need to worry about getting both skills since they expend Energy each time they’re activated instead of being a constant Energy drain. It costed me a bit of Mana, but I don’t have enough for any other skills that I want right now anyway. Still, having Energy taking on the role of MP—like it says so in the manual—is pretty great.

I can use my skills as long as I have enough Energy. Having that said though, the less Energy I have, the less effective I would be. It’d be best to avoid recklessly burn my skills. We Spirits really do have to be cautious when in combat. According to Shouko’s experiences, every bit adds up and quickly makes you weaker. Having a large amount of Energy means a lot of HP, so not only would it be natural that we’d be good at tanking bosses, but also be very versatile because of our endurance and attack. The bad part is that we can only expend so much of it. That’s the one bottleneck of the system. Should you be thrifty with your Energy? Should you be extravagant? Well, that’s really the question, isn’t it?

“Now then, since we’re here at the second city, let’s fish at the river until it’s time.

“Sorry I’m late.”

I bumped into an acquaintance along the way and lost track of time. Of course, I already let Shouko know I was going to be a little late, but late is late.

“Oh, no problem at all. Did you run into problems?” “Nah, I ran into an acquaintance is all. I got her use her cooking skills for me though.”

It’s the same girl who I met through Alto. She told me to hit her up when I go fishing. I gave her three fish in exchange for her time cooking.

“A cook, is she?” “Yeah. Here, as an apology for being late. I’ve got sweetfish and trout, both salt-grilled. Which will it be?” “I shall have… the trout.”

After a brief moment of contemplation, Shouko received her trout. Though, sweetfish and trout are in season at fairly different times. Since this is a game, I guess time of year doesn’t matter when catching your freshwater fish. Anyway, putting that aside, I asked around for advice since we were going for a night battle.

“I asked around a little earlier, but is there anything we have to prepare for this? I’ve mentioned it already, but I don’t have much experience in fights. That means that I don’t know much about rules and stuff at whatever hunting ground.” “Right… well, I have brought our light source with me, so we shall be fine on that front. Oh, do you have a coat of some kind, Kizuna? It gets a little chilly at night, so it would not hurt to bring one along.”

While she’s speaking to me, Shouko clasps her hand together to thank me for the trout.

“A coat? No, I don’t have one, I’m afraid.” “In that case, would you like to use one of my old ones? It is a little worn down however. It does confer bonus resistance to cold and, according to current findings, that means it keeps the wearer warmer for longer.” “Can I really?” “Of course. Since I no longer wear it, it has simply been taking up space.”

Then, Shouko sends over a large kimono-style jacket via the chat window. It’s named the “Powder Snow Haori”. It grants a slight cold resistance effect as well as provides defense. Though it looks light, it’s actually got some heft to it. The coat might make me a little sluggish wearing it. I’ll only equip it when it’s cold then.

“Does it look okay on me, even though I’m wearing rather Western-looking clothes underneath?”

I put on the haori and ask for her thoughts. As I mentioned, I’m wearing a black dress called a “Geist Dress”. I chose it because it the simplest thing I could make with the best stats, though it looks quite gothic lolita.

It seems to be exclusive equipment for Spirits as well. The bonus effect on it lowers Energy damage taken. You can’t get effects like this with anything other than clothing, so it makes gutting weapons all the worse. Looking around, you’ll see guys in light armor with a short sword strapped to their hip. I’m sure one of the reasons why not many people use gutting weapons is because they don’t grant much defense. Well, you’d also likely use gutting weapons for crafting, so there’s another reason why.

“If I dare be frank, it fits you better than I had thought it would have. You have quite a fantastical feel to your style.” “Better than you’d thought…? But, thanks. I’ll take good care of it.”

Even if I don’t look good in it, the stats are too good to pass up on. That much is common in an MMORPG.

“Where are we going anyway? Well, not like I’ve been there before, but we might have a better time fighting if we knew what we’re up against.” “You have a point. We shall be going to the Forest of Eternal Darkness, somewhere that can only be accessed at night. Our main target shall be Darkness Lizardmen in there—”

To summarize her explanation, we’re going to a Darkness Lizardmen hot spot where we’ll do well farming Energy. However, the bastard sword–wielding Darkness Lizardmen are both strong in physical and magical attacks, so they’re not exactly easy either. That’s a reason why rarely do people ever step foot in the forest unless they properly spec their skills for it.

Normally, you’d need someone proficient in shields, but we’ve got high enough Energy levels. As well, not only can her folding fan can attack and defend, but it’s very effective at destroying the Darkness Lizardmen’s weapons. That’s why Shouko has chosen the Forest of Eternal Darkness. It makes for a great spot to farm and it’s even doable solo for her.

“Are you okay with me and my gutting weapons? I’ve been told that they’re not all that useful. I’m afraid I’d just be leeching off of you.”

Well, pretty much leeching off her now already, but still. I like to think that I do pretty good damage with my gutting weapons though.

“You still have that going for you. There is no way you would not be useful, Kizuna.” “I see, that, huh?”

Of course, she’s talking about gutting. Seeing how we’re going to somewhere not many go, the drops from the monsters there should fatten up our wallets a bit. I could even use Transmutation on it, so it’s not like I’ve got no choices either.

“Then I’ll be counting on you from here on out.” “Likewise to you.”

And then right after, in this very conspicuous spot, she bows deeply to me.

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /next/

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[grammyshepherdsrecipes]

WE GOT THE BEETS

The fun thing about canning is that it’s a truly interdisciplinary activity. It’s biology. It’s chemistry. It’s physics. It will make you feel like you are in touch with your thrifty, survivalist forebears. And in the case of canning beets, it makes your kitchen look a little like a murder scene. So, y’know, forensics. Here’s what you’ll need: 24 small beets (2-2 and a half inches in circumference) or 40 baby beets (1 to 1 and a half inches) or, y’know, just get a bunch of big ones that are the only ones they had at the farmer’s market and keep making brine as you need to. Water for cooking beets 3 medium onions For brine: 2 cups apple cider vinegar 1 3/4 cups sugar 2 Tbsp pickling salt (or kosher salt) 1 cup of water for brine 6 whole cloves 1 stick cinnamon Then, you will put on some rubber gloves because this is gonna get messy. Taking care to keep the juice on the cutting board and not staining your counter, you cut off the roots and the stems. Place them in a big ol’ kettle with boiling water and then Grammy says to “cook until tender.” The internet, I’m sorry to say, is not much more helpful, with results ranging from 15 minutes to an hour. I boiled them for about 30 minutes, and then checked every 10. Listen to your beets. They will tell you what they need. 

Then you will drain your beets, and cool them. Once they are cool you peel them in your sink and resolve to be spending some quality time with the Comet cleanser after they’re done. If you have big beets, slice them. If they’re little you can leave them whole. Then peel and thinly slice your onions.  For the brine, combine vinegar, sugar, salt, cup of water, and spices in the big ol’ kettle you cooked your beets in. Grammy says to put the cloves in cheesecloth for easier extraction later. If you don’t have small parcels of cheesecloth handy, use a tea infuser. If you don’t have a tea infuser, you’re uncivilized. Have fun picking cloves out your stupid self, you savage. Just kidding. But really, loose leaf tea will change your life. Back to beets. Boil the brine, add the beets and onions. Simmer 5 minutes. Remove the spices, and fill your pint jars. You can then give away jars of beets and endear yourself to friends and family or properly can and process them and enjoy beets ALL YEAR ROUND. How do you do that?  Place a rack in the bottom of your kettle and fill halfway with water. Bring to a boil over high heat, then carefully lower the jars into the pot using a holder. Leave a 2 inch space between the jars. Pour in more boiling water if necessary until the water level is at least 1 inch above the tops of the jars. Bring the water to a full boil, cover the pot, and process for 10 minutes. Did I just cut and paste all that from this recipe? Yes. I did. Put your jars on a cooling rack and you’ll know you’ve succeeded when the jars go POP as the pressure from the cooling fruit creates a vacuum seal and there will be little depressions in the lid rather than the satisfying boingy part. Congratulations. You did a science. The beets will be sweet, so I like to eat them with a little goat cheese. I think Grammy just ate ‘em as is. And that’s fine too. She also says this is Jane Harvey’s recipe. I don’t know who she is, but I bet she was nice.