#... idk man that's just so low effort and i personally think that's one reason why we see subpar books where nothing happens

[mermaidsirennikita]

The dichotomy between what's popular according to booktok (from what I've see) from the most blandest books imaginable to the most taboo erotica you can think of is kinda wild.

I think that what gets me with taboo books recommended by BookTok is that they're usually very poorly written. And if the writing is poor, you're not really getting the full "shock" value.

Like, when you read Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series, the scenes read as really intense because Sierra is an excellent writer. In contrast, a book like Hooked (that one dark romance~ modern Captain Hook book, a concept I was very open to and wanted to like, for the record) is very badly written. There's taboo content and a horrible hero, but like... It just reads juvenile.

I'm about 65% through A Kiss at Midnight by Anne Stuart, a historical romance that is QUITE dark, but the writing is frankly fabulous. Because Stuart can write, the darkness (which is not like, the corny "oh he's so bad he's in a motorcycle gang" torture sequence stuff--it's TRULY intense and pretty accurate for the era) is balanced out by emotional progression and honestly? A very dry, at times dark humor. If a lesser writer handled this plotline, it would just seem like shock factor after shock factor layered on just to get people talking. Very 2edgy4me.

And I'm gonna be really real here. Some fanfic authors are made to transition to actual published books. I think Ali Hazelwood writes a really solid contemporary romance. I really enjoyed You, Again by Kate Goldbeck, and that's based on a fic I actually read. The Hurricane Wars works as a book. (And mind you, let's not take away from the work the editors and authors did to rework fics into actual books here.)

Some fic authors are meant to stay fic authors and to excel at that. I personally think that one of the reasons why we have so many blaaand romance novels right now is that a) some of them are written by less-equipped fic authors trying to write real books and b) some of the authors have read less actual books than they have fics.

There are some tensely plotted, exciting fics out there. But personally? I think the standout nature of those fics--fics like Manacled, which... I think.... is not.... for me. However, bland it is not lol--makes people think that is the NORM for fic, when it's not. The norm for fic, and what I think a lot of more casual fic consumers and people who read more fic than they do books (compared to a lot of romance readers who turn to fic to supplement their reading habits) is very plotless slice of life stuff.

And that's not meant to be derogatory. It works, especially when you're writing about characters a lot of people know and love and are PROGRAMMED to know and love. Even if it's AU and they're basically other people, if you're writing a modern, sedate romcom about Katniss and Peeta and she mentions going to archery classes and Peeta being a baker, people are like aawwwww and they enjoy the nicely written scenes that are just people being people.

That.... ultimately creates a bland story when you're writing a book about original characters nobody has a preexisting investment in.

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

Finally got around to watching some post-embargo vids and I have some now updated Veilguard thoughts.

Stuff I liked:

Character creator is a standout as always. This has consistently been the strong point of Bioware's games in the last 10 years so no surprises there. The pronoun and other gender-related options are a welcome addition.

Companions all seem great. I'm sad we haven't got more Davrin or Bellara content yet, since those are the two I'm most interested in learning about. Their initial introduction in that terrible cinematic trailer didn't do these guys any favours, but seeing them in gameplay footage gives a much better impression of them. It's also exciting to see more companion-on-companion interactions and relationships.

I was put off by the voice acting in the 10 minute gameplay reveal months ago, but what I've heard so far has been much better.

Main menu looks pretty.

As an ME fan, I'm pro dialogue wheel; it's unfortunate that Inquisition turned that whole mechanic into a massive drip. This is less a thing I notice but something I hope, that this game's dialogue wheel will have a more DA2 or ME1 vibe.

Hngnggn vfjddjgfnbhn oooowowo o cloaks.

Stuff I didn't like:

The art style is not redeeming itself. Wolfheart made a very insightful point that it might be a holdover from when Veilguard was going to be a live service multiplayer game, and it definitely does give that impression. Everything is still incredibly smooth and it's clear there was a lot of effort put into making things "nice" looking. It's giving very "everyone's beautiful but no one is horny" to me. I'm on the haters' side with the Qunari; where are their textures?

On that note, oh my god. The UI and the VFX. This must have also been a result of live service elements. As someone who hates playing late-game mages in Origins because all of the VFX gives me a headache this game looks actively hostile. Does literally every single ability require flashing neon lights? Why does the UI look like a World of Warcraft meme? Why does every single interactive object glow? Wolfheart noted that even after turning everything off, a bunch of VFX elements were still present, which is tremendously disappointing. Bioware can miss me with this cocomelon for adults visual style; I just do not need all of these annoying tricks to try and keep my attention.

Also on the UI - idk man. Remember when fantasy games weren't embarrassed about looking fantasy? Remember when all of Origins menus opened up in a little book with parchment pages? Character selection took place in a little castle? I just don't get this Thing Bioware has had since 2 to make DA's game UI look cool and slick by taking all the fun out of its visual elements. I've heard it before but I've got to agree, Veilguard's UI looks like a mobile game. And again, it's so busy it's 100% gonna give me headaches.

The combat is.... I won't call it "bad". I just hate it. See above for one of the reasons why. I think I could write a whole essay on how discomfiting it is. The very very clear push (likely from EA) to have the game resemble big name titles like Breath of the Wild and God of War has taken the game in the direction of just kind of a generic hack and slash; at least DA2 married its action elements with its party mechanics and has its own unique voice. There's something in particular that sets my teeth on edge tbh. I'm watching gameplay of warriors and rogues in combat and they're pretty much indistinguishable from mages. Teleporting, fire and lightning flying about in basic attacks, just a ton of stuff that makes me cringe to look at. There's a complete lack of class fantasy there for me - why would I want to play a warrior that isn't just a big guy with a big sword? Is this a result of story elements? Why is my low level rogue demolishing entire groups of enemies ala Dynasty Warriors? In a world where the distinction between a magic person and a non-magic person is incredibly important, could cost you your life, watching a rogue shoot lightning out of their knives makes me groan. Are Bioware's efforts to make the player feel like the coolest specialist person that ever lived going to be addressed in-game? We'll have to see.

Lack of control over your own companions ala Mass Effect. I don't wanna talk about it it's too depressing.

I've noted this in the past but obviously the tonal departure from low/dark fantasy to classic high fantasy. The character backgrounds for the Rooks pretty much lock you into playing a good guy, which is a huge shame. Even if you want to pick a faction that is canonically shady or morally neutral AT BEST like the Crows, they make sure to tell you that the other Crows don't like you because you're just that good-hearted. In a faction like the Grey Wardens, notorious for taking in criminals of all stripes, you spend your background saving helpless villagers. What are the options going to be like for people who want to play morally grey or potentially evil Rooks? It's starting to look like Bioware isn't going to give you a much wiggle room to define your character out of what they need you to be.

Lip flap looks like a very mixed bag. Maybe it's just the footage but voices and mouths look out of sync.

Can't make a post without reminding everyone that Bioware isn't our friend; they've fired half the people who worked on this game and greedy producers like EA don't deserve our money.

Update: Only just came across this but phasing out inventory management? Yeah welcome back Mass Effect trilogy :/

Neutral opinions:

Other shit like the Darkspawn and overall mob designs have been a problem since DA2 so I don't see the point in rehashing it here, other than to say that I can't wait for the "DLC with the good Darkspawn designs in it" this time around.

Opening scene gives me huge Mass Effect vibes; the bar fight and the music in that scene felt very "Lair of the Shadow Broker", which I guess is a compliment.

Varric still not dead yet. Kill that old man!

Ultimately, I'm putting in prediction now that Veilguard is going to go the DA2 route of having a decent and well-loved story, but with massive issues regarding its gameplay and aesthetic that players will just have to get over in order to enjoy the game.

I'm not gonna be buying on release - first time that's been the case for a Dragon Age game since Origins; the current plan is to wait until the Christmas sales, which gives plenty of time for the fandom to either assuage my fears or implode cos the game is shit. Either that or the Solavellan content is so crisp and juicy I'll have to learn to pirate.

[dullgecko]

Okay.. SO SHADOW SORCERER RIZ GUKGAK BECAUSE OF HIS CONNECTION WITH KALINA (also Baron or Kalina is his shadow cus I just think that’s silly)

You won’t see him unless he wants you to, and even then he’s hard to spot. You feel like watching from afar, but little do you know he’s looking right over your shoulder.

(Also maybe this Riz is a little evil idk man I love making shit up)

Riz is 8 and his father dies. There's no reason for it, sometimes goblins just get sick and don't get better again. For some reason though his job won't pay out his life insurance. They won't tell them why but it means they're very suddenly a single income household with zero safety net.

So, funeral over with no time to mourn his mom had to go back to work. Picking up extra shifts in order to meet rent while Riz was left home. The young goblins anger at the whole situation only growing with every instance of his mom coming home exhausted beyond what he even thought possible.

They can't afford a babysitter but at least Riz isn't completely without a friend. One that only he seems to be able to see that tells him secrets. Tells him that the council of chosen is wrong, that it was their fault they never got what they were owed after his dads death. He listens, because why wouldn't he? He's not stupid and investigates everything Kalina tells him, and it's all true as far as he can tell.

He doesn't end up going to Aguefort, choosing instead to go to Mumple where he can keep a low profile. Kalina teaches him everything he needs to know to be a scarily effective sorcerer using his own inate magic. Goblins in the fae wilds used to serve the queen of wind and shadows after all.

He doesn't make any moves his entire first year of high school, only following the stories of a group of kids from Aguefort trying to find some missing girls with mild interest as he works on his own project. Those kids end up being useful though, their fight with a dragon on school property affording him the distraction necessary to sneak in and steal the Nightmare Kings crown.

He's rewarded for his efforts, gaining a familiar of sorts in the form of a skeletal goblin puppet. He names it Baron, mostly because of its ridiculous flouncy outfit. The only problem is that he seems to have attracted the attention of that strange group of kids, one of them the daughter of some of his allies that Kalina led him towards.

Theyre always one step behind though, right up until his idiot allies kidnap their daughter from Leviathan. They might be his enemies at the moment but he's appaled by what he sees when he goes to the tower. One daughter on the verge of madness from sheer exhaustion and the other about to be tortured in the same way. They're just kids, like him, and it makes him feel a little sick.

The new one sees him when he slips into the room but he says nothing, even when she starts hurling abuse at him. He has good reasons for what he's doing, they're saving kalinas goddess after all and it can help him get his revenge against the Council, but what they're doing to this girl is just sadistic. He sabotages the sphere on his way out of the room, stilling its rotation for long enough for her to rest as he makes himself scarce and leaves.

He doesn't see them again until they're in the forest, plan almost complete when they're interrupted. The fight was brutal but he was holding his own right up until a teifling said something that made him pause. She had met his dad somehow (in hell apparently? But he wasn't being punished?) and she had a message from him.

He let his arcubus drop limp to his side, leaving himself open to an attack from their cleric (if you could call a greater restoration an attack). He felt kalinas grip on him vanish in that instant, while simultaneously reeling from the news that it had been HER that had gotten his dad killed.

Hed done all of this, hurt so many people, all on the guidance of the person responsible for all his suffering? He wasn't going to let that stand. He knew a thing or two about his mentor, knew she weakened when viewed by more people and helped these strange kids execute their plan. Killing the familiar himself with a shot from his arcubus and helping them win.

Their cleric managing to restore the goddesses true form had been a surprise and he felt a bit.... weird... standing off to the side as they celebrated their victory. Not knowing what to do without kalina in his head anymore but also a little scared to move after the idiot elf got her magic stripped and a van with hands set on her.

[rogerbarel]

tell me more about nora (pls)

I will try to provide a reasonable amount of information! 🫡 I don't actually know what constitutes "reasonable," though, so this will probably be an infodump.

Also thank you for being the reason I finally finished her damn portrait. Idk how shading hair works and I'm not finding out today.

This is Miss Lenore "Nora" Langley, and she's a proud problem.

Nora is 22, 5', and has been a robin for the entirety of the two years she's lived in London.

She's the youngest of four children. Both of her elder sisters married before 24, but no one expects Nora to snag a man anytime soon. They historically find her offputting and aggressive.

Her parents named her after Edgar Allen Poe's Lenore just 'cause they thought the name was pretty, but she hates it. She'd never want to be a helpless, pitiable, dead type of beautiful. If you push the subject, she'll say she doesn't think she can be that sort of beautiful that makes people want to rescue or mourn her. She doesn't have the face or the temperament for it.

She has a complex about being seen as "fragile" from years of people having very strong reactions--from fear to contempt to anger--to her tendency to cry easily at any strong emotion. Even when she can't help but cry, she tries to keep herself in motion because she's afraid of being helpless. She manages to keep it on the down low during her first few days with Crown since she thinks crying is antithetical to her survival here, but she cracks once during a brief hostage incident (Roger's secret event story) and then kinda loses it for an evening after a brush with Alfons's power. Oops, cat's outta the bag!

Nora is happy to be helpful to people who are kind to her and others (she's got soft spots for Liam and Ellis and spends a lot of time with them), and she puts a lot of effort into getting to know interesting people on her work routes, but she's also vindictive and selfish and doesn't care much about being a bad person herself. She's also kind of just a tsundere who can be friendly with most people who aren't Roger or Alfons.

And tbf she's still....... friendly..... -ish with Roger. He makes her mad as hell with his incessant teasing (and she KNOWS he's deliberately trying to make her mad/compete with him BUT SHE CAN'T STOP), but she also thinks he's funny, opts to spend the most time with him, and notices him looking out for her in his weird, "I'm totally just doing this for my own benefit" way. Every time he calls her his dog, she insists that he's the perverted, untrained mutt who can't keep his paws to himself. Unfortunately, she's also laughing while she tries to smack him with his research folders. In other words... she's down bad. Down abysmal. Will NOT admit it until he admits that love is REAL and she was RIGHT and NOT ONLY THAT, but he's ALSO IN LOVE AND OBSESSED WITH HER AND WORSHIPS HER BECAUSE SHE'S THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HIS LIFE AND SHE'S A PURE MAIDEN WHO DESERVES NOTHING LESS. And also because she can't bear the thought of Roger only playing with her for "fun" when she's just miserably, miserably in love.

Uhhhhh other notes:

- (cw for attempted assault in this paragraph) Has a scar between her breasts from an Incident during her early time as a robin. As of the beginning of the game, only the doctor who treated her knows. Through a stroke of luck, she managed to leave the attacker in worse condition.

- Finds the idea of fate boring at best, infuriating at worst.

- Collects interesting acquaintances on her work routes like they're Pokémon. Sometimes loses track of time yappin'. Would love to go to one of Will's Mad Tea Parties.

- Probably delivered mail to Oscar Wilde once. Probably thinks he's a prick. Would be mad to find out his writing is actually good.

- She developed resting smug bitch face specifically to rid herself of resting about-to-cry face.

- Her associated animal is the Luzon Bleeding Heart dove! That's why she has her scar and her red ribbon.

- Roger often compares the default MC to a corgi, but Nora is more like an angry pomeranian.

- Virgin. Thinking about finding God again because every day this shameless whore tempts her, but she CANNOT admit she wants it and thus lose to him.

- Her sanpaku is very important!! It's her charm point imo! I specifically made her the opposite of what I imagined a "cute, endearing crier" to be because I thought that made Roger getting horny about it funnier.

- Has a scowl that can rival Jude's.

... That wasn't a reasonable amount at all. Sighs. I knew it would be like this. I'm so sorry. I just love her. So much. 😭

[scoonsalicious]

hello it's me again! (the one with the J names lmao i'll sign off with anon name at the end. since i'm sure i'll be back often) this isn't going to be as long as the first one but hmm. regarding the lastest update, reading the comments so far etc, I feel like I'm alone in this lmao. but, I just felt a lil iffy at the way Pocket was pushing Sam to spill. But then again, I don't blame her because she just needs that extra reassurance that Bucky wasn't lying since she obviously doesn't trust him and rightfully so.

But also, the thing about Bucky not telling her outright about this part, I don't think it necessarily has something to do with Pocket or his trust with her, but more, his own insecurity? because I would argue, Sam, Steve and even Judas don't exactly hold the same level of importance to Bucky compared to how Pocket does. So maybe he's more comfortable sharing that part about his past because if there was judgment involved, he could learn to shrug it off and deal with it. But when that judgment would come from Pocket (not that she ever would) it'd hurt SO much worse and it'd be something he couldn't live with. That's probably the reason why he was so embarrassed and scared to tell her, because of the "what if she thinks low of me" even if that will NEVER be true, but he's insecure with himself. He already thinks she can do better than him, and this part of him won't make him look good. and to add, a man from the 40s where vulnerability common etc etc.

And I get Pocket is angry right now, so I can see where she's coming from with the way she's taking it personally why he never told her. Because that can be hurtful. But I don't think it has something to do with her at all (and i mean that in a good way), and its more on Bucky's fragility and insecirty than anything else. Also, and I'm probably reaching here, she seems to lack empathy about it. or maybe just, looking at things in Bucky's perspective sometimes. Maybe were not seeing yet because she's running on anger at the moment, but after finding something like that out, especially since she still loves Bucky, you'd think she'd feel a little sad and hurt for what he went through? but yeah, she's angry so idk, maybe that's just me being too much of an empath lol. ANYWAYS, love the short and sweet update. can't wait for more!

— Jnon 🤍 (i couldn't think of anything else lmao)

Jnon,

DO YOU LIVE IN MY BRAIN?!?!

Because YES TO ALL OF THESE THINGS!!!

Pocket definitely does feel horrible about what Bucky went through— or, at least, she will, once she’s able to look past her own anger. She’s suffered her own sexual abuse, so there’s the double pain for her that 1) he seems to have told everyone else but her and 2) as she thinks in Chap 14, she was open with him about what she endured since day one, but she feels he didn’t trust her enough to offer her the same level of openness, and that hurts. She never, ever would have judged him for it, and would have absolutely been supportive, but he took that option away from her and instead left her in a position where she had no choice but to doubt he was even being honest with her. There’s a part of her (and I should have made more of an effort to include it in her thought process; that’s my bad) that wondered if he was bringing up sexual assault as an excuse because he knew that was a sensitive topic for her, and he was using it to garner sympathy. She’s just lost so much trust in him that she can’t think straight anymore and is second guessing everything.

[evansbby]

No I totally get you! It really really didn’t feel right to me as a Muslim too! It was borderline uncomfortable which is why I’ve only seen scenes of it. //

Girl this is what I’ve been saying for so long!! They portray muslims as these terrorists and barbaric people. And with muslim countries, it’s always portrayed as a “low income” country, or as poor individuals who are homeless?? Like wtf? I honestly hate it when movies do that and it instantly makes me hate it. And what I also see in some movies is that the man always has like an underaged wife or something💀 or when the woman is ALWAYS ‘oppressed’ and she takes off her hijab. Don’t even get me started on how badly they represent us. A quick google search shows how a muslim prays, yet they still mess it up💀

It just shows how the west sees us and it honestly saddens me that that’s how they see us since we’re nothing like that. If they honestly just took the time and effort to idk visit a mosque and talk to the people there, they could see that it’s a peaceful religion. It can be one person who goes on and does something bad and they instantly blame the ‘muslim community’.

Like sometimes I’m so scared to walk past certain places since I wear a hijab and a abaya. I get so many weird looks especially from elderly white people😭 I’m already scared walking alone in London and then I’m reminded of the fact that I wear a hijab and abaya. Because people WILL hate us for no reason, I seriously knew someone who hates muslims, why? because they’re barbaric people who are trying to “take over the world”. ??? I don’t even know what that means tbh😭 I mean I know a lot of kids who get it passed down from their parents and probably half of their opinions are also from them.

Oh my GODDD I literally agree with everything you’re saying!!!

I am Muslim but I don’t wear hijab so I didn’t quite realise how much they HATE us… like when I lived in Pakistan I had NO CLUE the west hated us so much and thought we were some backwards people when really we’re not at all!

I know it must be 10000x harder as a hijabi Muslim, it’s like they already just see you as oppressed bc that’s what is shown to them on TV. It’s just so unfair and dumb and Hollywood KEEPS making more content like this…

I actually wrote an essay about this in my second year of university, wherein the west measures how “progressive” and “modern” a Middle Eastern or Muslim woman is based on whether she’s wearing a hijab and abaya or not. And i analysed this magazine cover, I think it was from Time magazine or something like from 2009 issue, where it was talking about how Middle Eastern women are so educated now and the cover literally showed a woman in Niqab as the “before” and a woman in a blazer and skirt with a briefcase as the “after” LIKE WHAT???????

No wonder everyone in the west thinks Muslims are backwards and barbaric and bad, it’s what their media and culture teaches them.

[tiodolma]

I remember you said you hate Arthur 😗 What are your thoughts on Gwen? Do you like Gwencelot?

guinevere guinevere guinevere... RANT INCOMING. Hot takes generator coming along. brace yourself.

hmm i think she had a lot of potential at the start especially in s1. She was spunky. She had really good rapport with merlin. It felt like she and him could have done a lot of pranks and hijinks.

Then when mergana (the whole shebang) started to happen i thnk they pushed her to become more of arthur's voice of reason as replacement for the spot morgana used to hold.

it's still a little weird how she and arthur got together tbh. Like okay, her views on arthur started to change when he began saving merlin's life i in the cup of life episode. But Idk i wish we could've seen more introspection on her part?

She's not like Merlin and Morgana who had high hopes for Arthur from the very start. Both of them had been working on Arthur from the Bottom and Top. Merlin was peasantry and Morgana was nobility and they both pushed Arthur to be the kinda cool dude he was in S1. And I feel like she got pulled along by MM's efforts to see the good in Arthur. Where does Guinevere fit in all of this? In the middle… I guess because it worked! MM's efforts showed that there was hope in Arthur and Guinevere acknowledged that. Then in s2 when Merlin became more focused in thwarting Morgana in and when Morgana's powers truly awakened and her hate for Uther deepened... Guinevere was what? left to pick up the pieces? I think?

I'm saying this because in s2 both MerMor were already stepping into their destinies, the real "I want to do what's best for Arthur and Camelot." phase. Guinevere was stuck in the weird spot of just being the one who truly cares for Arthur as person.

Now I know this sounds ArWen-positive. but on Gwen's side.

The problem with Arthur tho is that once someone is kind to him he he holds that person on a pedestal and only wants to see that version ever. IDEK why in the span of five seasons, he still has a low opinion on women and girls, he still has this chivalric notions that it's a men's world and girls should just be protected and kept in the dark and that servants should just stay as servants. Moreover his attitude with the women Uther tries to make him marry is abhorrent. He doesn't like the girls who challenge and mirror him too much (like Vivian or Elena from The Changeling). For him his ideal woman is the prim proper perfect loyal- looks good as nobility type. He has this like list of what makes a perfect woman for him and it's so incel-like lol. The moment any of these make a mistake, he casts them away (yes even guinevere). He can make all those "I am doing this for the kingdom" "my love can never be" "what would my father think" excuses but what happened when Guinevere became his queeen and chief adviser? He kept things from her and won't listen to her as his voice of reason. He's honestly frustrating tbh. His ego mixes with his notion of being a "King" and a "Man" and he kept pulling rank at both his Queen and Merlin.

This leads me back to Guinevere just being pulled by the story and cleaning up all the messes ArMerGana leave behind. It's complicated. She's a reflection of whoever was close to her. When she was still close to Morgana, she thought Arthur was a prick. When she was close to Merlin, she almost shared his views of Arthur being the "best thing ever." When MerGana decided that Arthur was an okay dude, guinevere also rode that boat. When Arthur was king and was already like "magic users are all lunatics" Guinevere became like, "yass ur right u have a point." Morgana tortures and brainwashes her and she becomes the latter's ultimate weaopn. Merlin lies to her constantly and she's just "fine whatever you say Merlin teehee but i'm watching you OwO." Arthur abuses Merlin even as King and Guinvere is still like "Aww you two are so cute, but i also think merlin staying as ur servant serving you for eternity is alright."

On one hand ppl can say that she can make her own judgement. Ofc she can. But I wish I saw more? just more. What are her hopes and dreams outside of arthur, merlin, morgana or elyan? Did she want to be a smithy? did she want to be a maidservant forever? did she hope to be a lady in waiting? did she want to become an apprentice of gaius? did she want to be queen? was she not upset that merlin and arthur kept secrets from her? (this was a deleted scene from s5 btw) does she even want a kid? we dont even know that! we know nothing!

She was interesting as Queen, I admit, but bruh it was still like watching Morgana and Arthur on the throne (and lets be real she had been their representative on both times). It's annoying. And this is my point. Guinevere is like... a shapeshifter or chameleon. That's why even now we could never tell what she would be like as queen post-series. WE DON'T KNOW GUINEVERE.

it's like she was whatever the narrative wanted her to be. Maybe that's the point then, that it's her destiny to be the boat that tries to keep itself afloat as the natural disasters called Arthur, Morgana and Merlin swirled and raged around her.

the only light at the end of that tunnel i think was Lancelot. His presence made her actually pursue stuff/hopes/dreams. AND IT SHOWS. They remind me of MerGana in their intense moments in s1-s4. GwenCelot chemistry is electric as hell. THEY WANT EACH OTHER, not for the king or queen or knight that they can become BUT EACH OTHER.

When Merlin and Guinevere weren't too wrapped up in "arthur is actually a good guy deep inside, just trust me on this, give him a chance give him a chance give him a chance" moments, when Merlin and Guinevere PURSUE SOMETHING ELSE, I see honesty, I see something RAW, i can see cracks in the facade forced on them just by merely being in Arthur's presence start to fade and break down.

So yeah. Lancelot had to be killed early coz what would happen to the "King Arthur is the best and hottest sht in the universe" narrative if we had actual Mr. Anime Protagonist Lancelot Du Lac in the show?

GwenCelot needed to happen. I was waiting for it so bad. I was so excited for it. It would have been he perfect foil to ArGwen. It would have added a lot more spice to the show. It would have made Guinevere a more well rounded character with her own hopes and wants instead of the "she's the only braincell holding this group together" character. I want to know Guinevere better, all the good and the bad and not just this impossible perfect angel that the show carved her out to be.

overall thoughts on guinevere? started interesting, ended up boring, gave us nothing.

overall thoughts on gwencelot? yes pls give us the dramatic, encompases beyond all reason courtly romance that arthuriana is known for.

[somewhereinthepines]

I was reading chapter 5 of GP again and was going over the interaction that Chris and Ryan had, and I still don't quite understand what Chris was aiming to achieve with it. Much like Ryan. I understand that it had to do with paying attention and doing as you're told, so I thought that maybe that's what Chris wanted Ryan to do? Because in chapter 6, when he was breaking down a little, he told Ryan that he wasn't reading enough into what was going on between them (either that or he meant his condition). And that got me thinking that maybe in chap 5, he was trying to get him to pay attention to idk, the way he acts towards Ryan and why that is? He really got me confused. Imagine that Spider-Man meme where the 3 of them are in a triangle position pointing at each other that's me trying to unpuzzle Mr H's reasonings, plus Ryan, haha.

Also, I love how you portrayed Chris's darker side in that chapter (5). The way he kept invading Ry-Man's personal space, just a little, but enough to have an effect on him, it was hot, and poor Ryan had no idea what to do with himself. It made me wanna revisit chap 4 as well since that's where Chris's wolfish behaviours started rearing its head more. And that got me thinking about why exactly Dylan's comments to Ryan about him triggered the events of chap 5 & 6. Because we know Chris overheard Dylan teasing Ryan about the whole "do you know what Mr H's dick looks like?" thing, and then started teasing about the size of it...but I'm still stumped about why Chris would be annoyed that Dylan was talking to Ryan about it...unless he read into it with his "I refuse to allow this little upstart to ruin and pull my favourite counsellor away from me" shades on? There was also the detail of Dylan initiating simple contact with Ryan, but that too stumps me because yesss we know you're jelly Chris, but to go so far...hmm, why? Ohh and I loved the detail with him watching Ryan walk far away until he couldn't see him anymore, it was low-key creepy when I thought about it a bit more, but deliciously so! And the way Ryan was like "pfft, Chris will never know I've not actually gone to the toilet." and I was like either he has a secret camera around there...or he had decided to follow him.

Ahhh, I just love all the details so much! I can't wait until the next chapter when Ryan snoops around and when Chris comes back in the morning. Like Chris is gonna be feeling rough after shifting, and he's gonna be bombarded with Ryan's scent all over his things. He's gonna know he's been snooping, but the reaction.. oh, I'm excited. Besides those things, I was thinking about when Dylan was in his office in-game, he describes Kaylee and Caleb as "weird kids" so he has to have met them, so I was wondering if they might make an appearance like that? I thought it was nice of Ryan to defend them when he countered him by saying that he liked them. It was a little thing, but I thought it was sweet of him because he's usually quiet-spoken. I like the idea of Ryan genuinely being their friend like you showed in SB, I mean they were implied to be kinda close in-game with the one photo and stuff, but I really liked how you fleshed it out. Like I can imagine everyone being at camp, and the Hacketts show up and the other counsellors like Dylan think they're "weird", but Ryan makes an effort to show them that he likes that they're there. Chris would appreciate Ryan including and interacting with them, especially if the other counsellors wouldn't. Another imagining I had was where they're all there at camp, and some of the counsellors are making comments or bothering/low-key bullying Ryan, and Kaylee and Caleb are NOT having it. It's hard to imagine how they'd react exactly, like maybe overtly irritated, or passive-aggressively? I like thinking about another scenario as well, like where Ryan figures out that his trio of Hackett's are werewolves, and he just looks out for them. Kaylee and Caleb would finally have someone from the outside that knows their secret, and whom they don't have to hide from.

Sorry about the longish rambles, these were just some things I'd been thinking about and compiled into one ask, haha.

ahhh, chris had some specific idea at first. he knew, that ryan was lying to him, bc he supposedly went to the toilet like what 2 hours ago and now, he needs to go again? it’s a bit too soon for someone of his age lol. esp if he wasn’t drinking water to speed up the process. *taps the chin* in a way, this is a pretty basic observation on chris’s end. the rest was more of an educated guess. tho, i doubt that anyone, but him paid attention to it. like, to how often ryan eats/drinks water lol. chris is his ‘caretaker’, so it’s clearly ‘normal’ for him to pay attention to it. *nods* yup, nothing even slightly weird here. 

but ah, back to the main reason why chris picked such a method and what he wanted to achieve. well, at the very beginning, it was a lesson in discipline, making ryan wait, making him squirm and realize, that chris can be stern, if he (wants) has to be. he often gives ryan a leeway, he always goes easy on him. let him bend the rules and rarely scolds him. so it’s time to make the boy recall, who is ‘in charge’ lol. chris is actually kinda low-key bullied ryan through the whole ‘waiting’ process. it’s almost like he couldn’t help himself, but be a bit mean. and unknowingly this is how chris edged himself into what happened next. he told ryan to piss a few feet away from him, simply bc he wanted to see if he would. and bc he wanted to be there, if/when he’ll do it. he wanted his fav boy to piss in front of him. that’s really this pervented in the end, haha. the first part of it was a lesson, but then it escalated, bc chris couldn’t tell himself ‘no’. he repress his desire for ryan so hard, so that when an opportunity to at least get a bit close to things, that he wants to do, presents itself, he’s just so weak. he can’t simply remain in his ‘right mind’. and it was a day before the full moon. i imagine, that it’s when chris goes through some very violent mental motions. like he’s totally jerked off, after that whole thing with ryan, haha. and naturally, on the next day, when he realized what he allowed himself to do, and just how ‘horrible’ it was of him to let it happen...oh boy, chris got so deeply upset with himself. he is ryan’s mentor and friend, he shouldn’t do these things. ryan trusts him and he’s just being ‘terrible’, haha. so yeah, it started as a ‘lesson’ and ended up into a kink, that chris had no idea he had. all that rambling, that he does when he tells ryan to take a piss, is him self-soothing himself. if he’ll frame it as a continuation of a ‘lesson’, then it would make this less bad, right? hopefully, this explains it! like part of the reason why that fic will be darker, is bc ryan & chris surely will get more unhinged about one another later on. so it means, a kink or two. 

and thank you! chris’s darker side is certainly an interesting topic. he tries so hard to be ‘good’, but at the end of the day, he’s still a wolf. and ah, chris wasn’t pissed off bc of dylan’s comments per say. what had truly irked him was that ryan would go out of his way to not rat dylan out. bc really, he could have been like yeah, dylan asked me about that stuff. and that’s it. he wouldn’t have been in trouble, if he didn’t lie. from chris’s perspective, it looked less like ‘dylan is being vulgar’ and more as ‘ryan would lie for this guy’. but why would he do such a thing? why would ryan lie to chris, for some…dude? that’s so baffling to him. naturally, he’s not a fan of some random kid talking about his dick size, either lol. but it’s very small, compared to how ryan would attempt to fool him, when he seemingly had no reason to. and what if, ryan would do it again afterwards? what if it would go further, than this? inside chris’s mind, ryan doesn’t need ‘friends’ like this, esp bc he knows, that dylan aims to smth more. not just being buds. which is just unacceptable lol. for his own safety, dylan better settle for nick or smth…

the next chapter is ⅓ written lol. and dang, ryan would get some bad ideas after his findings. chris won’t be ready, haha. i almost feel bad for him. bc he would return being all like ‘i will make it right by ryan this time’. and like yeah no, my man. you won’t, haha. also, ryan would have no idea why chris would react the way he does. in his eyes, it went well. he would be so proud of himself, thinking: ‘i was so sneaky and stealthy, while i roamed through chris’s things. he didn’t notice anything’. and to chris it’ll be the opposite: ‘everything smells like ryan now. fuck my life’. 

oh tbh, i imagine, that ryan made friends with kaylee and caleb so easily, bc they’re ‘different’ from his other peers. ryan himself is a weird kid. so it makes sense, that he would feel comfortable with someone, who also doesn’t quite fit in. and i’m glad, that you liked my version of them. they’re fun extras and they will make an appearance, along with some uh ‘newer’ side-cast additions. and well, since we don’t know how exactly ryan met chris’s kids in canon, it’s always nice to imagine how it could have gone down. esp if yeah, ryan actually made an effort to socialize with them, despite being pretty quiet on main. and in my version, kaylee would definitely beat up anyone, who would have bullied ryan for real lol. and caleb, while most likely closer to personality to his father, would have also made sure, that no one would tease ryan too hard. i think, that he’s one of those chill dudes, who are actually hella scary, if he’ll get angry lol. kinda like chris. and ah, it would have been nice, if the game actually allowed ryan to pick a side. if he could know that chris & his kids were werewolves, and chose to stand them still. tho, won’t lie, i still chuckle a bit, when in the game, they find kaylee dead, and ryan is like shell-shocked and then, a second later is like fuck, what do we tell chris!? i swear, that kid is so single-minded, haha. his friend died and he still managed to track it back to her father, almost instantly. and it all happens, while dylan might be missing a hand, and nick being all weird toward abi in the background. but ryan is still going on and on about their camp operator.

and aw, please don’t be sorry about that! these things really make me happy. I always talk in long paragraphs, so it’s cool to see someone, who’s also invested in possible dynamics/ideas/motions. and who’s not afraid to talk about it as detailed as they wanna. and i always appreciate hearing your thoughts! or receiving asks! it really makes my day! 

[babieken]

this is gonna be messy

I definitely don't think I'm the only one who feels this way, but... idk maybe im just stubborn and refuse to simply move on.

but... does anyone else just not feel the same about kpop. like as a whole concept?

after the whole ta*il thing and the groupchat thing, seeing the scale of the pure misogyny in korean society, I simply cannot see any idol the same way. and I don't even think it's an extreme reaction. we literally had the bear vs man debate like 2 months ago. it may not be all men, but its almost ALWAYS men so u have to suspect them ALL until proven otherwise.

and the worst part is, the whole charm of kpop and idols was that they were meant to feel more real and be interactive with fans (parasocial relationship). they were meant to give us the illusion that we know them as real people and not fictional 2d characters. but turns out being real ppl also comes with being really shitty ppl sometimes too.

what's frustrating is that kpop was a very... low effort hobby (especially if u were like me, a casual content-consumer and not the type of stan that spends money on kpop or cares about streams and shit). the content is pretty consistent and all you really need is a semi stable internet connection. whereas tv shows and books take years to renew for a new season/new book. sports have seasons. etc. u get the point (hopefully). and i'd say the fandom experience in kpop is also better than like movies/books/tv shows bc 1) after a certain point all the content is fanmade and 2) there are way too many debates when the content is totally fictional.

so, yeah I'm mad that I physically and mentally cannot enjoy kpop anymore. I literally look at any of my ex-faves and I feel absolutely nothing. if anything i feel empty and sad. in the sense that I don't miss THEM; I miss the way they used to make me feel. I miss the joy. the serotonin I used to get just from seeing them smile or some shit. and it's gone.

HENCE, I definitely do think that I've changed and my perception of korean media and korean celebrities has changed so me feeling very different about Wonho since his release may not be entirely on him.

However...

I just cannot get over how different he looks. I was literally looking at his older photos ( and i don't mean like OLD OLD. like... 2022 old.) next to his new ones and my brain simply cannot comprehend that its the same person. one of them is the wonho I fell in love with, and the one is a guy that vaguely resembles wonho in a very pale and plasticy way.

I was talking to my friend about this last night and the conclusion we came to for the reason he looks so unsettling to us is that he looks... too young. Like we've all seen the joking posts abt how he's gotten younger but like... it's not a joke. he literally looks 17 in a very artificial way. I mentioned this before but he looks like he has a permenant Snow app filter on.

and It's so sad bc he was always so big on body positivity and slef-acceptance, but to go around and change his appearance so drastically? and like... yeah korea's weird beauty standards bla bla but why would he as a 31 year old man want to look 17? I swear even the way he poses and holds himself is different. the vibes are not the same. you'll see it if u put old and new pics side by side.

Idk I'm hoping I get used to this or feel this less strongly once we see him do music and mvs and just do content. like maybe if I see him acts the same way he used to it won't feel so jarring, but as of rn... I barely reccognize him anymore and i hate that feeling.

I have a whole ass rant about kpop with a focus on wonho but power is out and my laptop is on lifesupport (charger) full time now and i refuse to type a whole essay on my phone but im EXPLODINGGGGG

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 332: This Fight Has Actually Taken More Than a Month

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “please enjoy these three whole pages of exposition about how New Order works. Spoiler alert, it all boils down to how much the user understands the nebulous inner vibes of their target, so I hope you’re all taking notes for the inevitable Final Battle Shenanigans to come.” Tomura was all “well I sure can’t wait until I get my hands on this quirk, wonder how many more chapters it’s going to be.” S&S was all “nothing else we’ve tried has worked so why don’t you Air Force guys ask the Secretary of Defense to send a few missiles our way, and in the meantime I’ll hold Shigaraki off by punching him a bunch with my giant LoK Season Two Homage.” Fandom was all, “[checking to make sure that they’re still reading the correct manga which somehow they are].” Btw how much longer are we going to let Horikoshi keep pretending that he’s never heard of A:TLA lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “I’m just gonna draw the most ludicrous attack I can think of” and has Star’s giant sky avatar make the hypersonic missiles do a couple of loop-de-loops for absolutely no reason before detonating with a giant FSHAM. Everyone is all, “I WONDER IF IT WORKED.” Tomura is all, “IT DID NOT WORK.” Star is all, “WELL I’M ALL OUT OF IDEAS, GUESS I’LL JUST STAND HERE AND FUCKING DIE THEN.” Weekly Shounen Jump is all, “WHAT IS THE OUTCOME OF THIS DECISIVE BATTLE!?” like GEE I WONDER. You’ve put us all on the spot here, WSJ. Idk, what do you guys think.

oh goody a Star and Stripe flashback, this is definitely the order Horikoshi should have done this in. who says we have to put foreshadowing before the actual thing. aftershadowing, that’s what all the cool kids are doing now

so she’s hanging out with a bunch of muscle bros in tank tops in the military or whatever I guess, and being all frustrated that her quirk doesn’t always do everything she wants it to do. though to be fair, if there was ever a quirk that desperately needed an instruction manual it’s gotta be this one

wowwww lol

“isn’t it such a shame that our sexist society is filled with men who are constantly demeaning women and refusing to acknowledge them as equals” -- man who is already well on his way to pseudo-fridging his third female character in the span of a year, in his story which already features a cast that is 75% male, which runs in a periodical which has never hired a single female editor in its entire history

-- actually you know what, just in case this winds up being one of Those Chapters, I should probably press pause for a sec and post a few Clarification Bullet Points just so that we’re all on the same page before we continue here lol. so here goes:

BnHA is kinda sexist you guys

no, it’s not as sexist as it could be

no, I’m not saying Horikoshi is a bad person, or the most sexist person who ever lived, or even in the top 100 (maybe even 1000) of sexist manga creators. BnHA is actually very progressive for a shounen manga in a lot of ways. he’s definitely trying

that being said, all the A’s for effort in the world won’t change the fact that WSJ is a boys’ club, and shounen manga’s idea of progress is “look at that, our female characters don’t all have to wear high heels all the time, and sometimes we even give them plotlines about stuff other than doing the boys’ laundry!!” I mean, pretty much anyone is going to look like a paragon of feminism when the bar is that low lol

tl;dr, I appreciate what we get, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fall on my knees in unreserved gratitude just because Horikoshi isn’t out here zooming up his female characters’ skirts every three panels. and this also happens to be the one and only thing about the series that I often find it very difficult to lighten up about, because of how it reflects circumstances in the real world. so yeah. apologies in advance, but if you continue to read this recap I can’t promise you won’t be subjected to occasional random chill-less remarks about gender equality or the lack thereof. it may happen at any time without warning! I, a person who is reading this manga on the internet for free, do in fact have the audacity to complain about some of the things that happen in said manga from time to time! and then I keep on reading the series anyway even though I only enjoy 95% of it and not the entire 100%! it’s some straight up r/choosing beggars shit! I might even choose to make a couple of critical remarks that aren’t watered down by jokes! right here on my own blog where anyone can read them!! it’s a lawless jungle out here!!

anyways lol so I think that’s about as clear of a disclaimer as I can possibly make. don’t say I didn’t warn you. now back to our regularly scheduled programming

anyway so after all of that ranting, these military (Air Force?) bros are actually being pretty chill though

(ETA: in hindsight, writing this rant seems to have used up most of my fucks lol. the rest of this chapter wasn’t really that bad so I managed to coexist with it peacefully pretty much right up until the last page, and even then it was mostly just eye-rolling and sighing. the type of situation “I’m not mad, just disappointed” was coined for, I guess.)

and you know what I like about this, is that Horikoshi actually took the time here to ask himself how S&S’s journey of becoming the number one hero might differ from All Might’s journey, and what kind of challenges and pushback she might come up against which a male character in the same situation would likely not encounter. this wasn’t necessarily the most graceful way of bringing that up, but I do appreciate that he was being thoughtful enough to consider any of this stuff at all, let alone actually work it into the character’s backstory

THAT BEING SAID, while I do appreciate what Horikoshi seemed to be going for here, I would have preferred if the message was more of a “you’re just as strong as All Might, your quirks just work in different ways” thing as opposed to “don’t sweat it if you’re not as strong as All Might, it’s not you it’s the quirk”

to be clear, it’s not that I have any kind of problem with All Might being the undisputed Strongest Character In The Series; it’s just that I still can’t really see why he’s considered to be stronger than S&S. it’s like they randomly decided that physical strength was the only metric actually worth considering. like sure, S&S may be having trouble trying to catch up to All Might in terms of bench presses, but All Might is probably having trouble catching up to her in terms of Turning Himself Into A Massive Laser-Wielding Sky Kaiju so I would think it evens out lol

anyway so Horikoshi is just not doing a good job of selling me on this Super Strength > Magic Reality Bullshit thing. and for that matter, it’s in his interests not to convince us, because aren’t we supposed to be worried that Tomura will be unstoppable once he gets his hands on this?

but these are all questions I’ll have to ponder more at some later date, because the flashback scene has now ended and we are cutting back to everyone’s favorite hypersonic missiles

so the missiles are almost there now, and Star says she’s going to have to release the laser rule in order to set up a new rule for the missiles. man, what? so you knew all along that the missiles on their own obviously wouldn’t be enough to stop him?

okay so real talk, how is this going to be any more effective than the lasers were. because regardless of whether it’s a laser or an explosive, at the end of the day we’re still dealing with thermal energy here right? meaning that you’re still going to run into the exact same problem you had with the lasers, and with Endeavor’s Prominence Burn, which is that FIRE IS NOBODY’S FUCKING WEAKNESS my god why doesn’t anyone in this manga listen to me. I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU

so now there’s an entire page of Tomura just chilling in the midst of the laser bombardment like it’s an afternoon at the sauna, and wondering what these explosive-vibes-giving things are that he can feel approaching. probably explosives, Tomura

fffffldkjl “LOL NO WAY, THIS WOMAN REALLY LAUNCHED A BUNCH OF HYPERSONIC MISSILES?” I know, right??

and there’s another page of Star giving a countdown to whatever bullshit she’s about to do, and then the bottom panel is showing the missiles breaking through her giant sky titan’s hand, which is some hella trypophobic shit that absolutely nobody in the world asked for

hey, Horikoshi? file this one along with the centipedes and the mushrooms. let’s not have any more of this ever again please and thank you

lol what the actual fuck

? ???? ??

LOL, WHAT

?????????????

is anyone going to explain to me how this makes the attack more powerful, or should I just keep reading. “keep reading makeste, duh” yeah you’re probably right, I keep going off on random tangents for no reason. I really need to focus up here

huh

well, you guys. so it appears that Star’s trump card was [checks notes] randomly having the missiles spiral around a couple of times for extra fanciness before they finally hit him. you know, for that extra spiraling power boost. the coveted spiral bonus

A WHOLE TWO PAGES OF EXPLOSIONS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FINALLY, SOMETHING BOTH AMERICAN SUPERHEROES AND SHOUNEN MANGA HEROES CAN AGREE ON. WHEN IN DOUBT JUST MAKE THING GO BOOM

WOW ANOTHER PAGE OF THE EXPLOSION. JUST IN CASE THE PREVIOUS TWO PAGES WEREN’T ENOUGH

I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, MISTER SIDE CHARACTER GUY ASKING ABOUT TOMURA’S STATUS WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE DUST TO SETTLE FROM YOUR MASSIVE EXPLOSION ATTACK, BUT THE ANSWER ISN’T GOING TO BE ANYTHING THAT YOU’LL PARTICULARLY LIKE. I JUST GOTTA WARN YOU NOW. YOU MIGHT NEED TO SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE

MAN WHY ARE YOU ALL TRYING SO HARD TO PRETEND LIKE THERE IS ANY TENSION HERE LOL

“WELP, THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE MOST POWERFUL ATTACK WE HAD. I WONDER IF IT WORKED. LET’S ZOOM IN ON THIS MASSIVE CRATER THAT WE JUST BLASTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. I GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE YOU GUYS” yep. for sure, Star

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hahahaha oh no

“NOPE NEVER MIND. GOOD FEELING’S GONE”

OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY LOLED FOR REAL

her faceeeee oh no. oh, Star, we’re really in it now

lol this motherfucker used Decay to burrow underground to hide from the explosion. what a power move. “if I was even a millisecond late it would have been a fatal wound” lmao you asshole. “good game,” Tomura says placatingly as he shakes Star’s hand afterwards. “that was a real nail-biter right up till the end. all the respect bro, you’re one hell of a competitor. let’s keep in touch.” follows her on Twitter after. “Shoutout to my homegal S&S, we had a WILD ONE this weekend [fire emoji] [fire emoji] [fire emoji] Down to the wire! Nothin but respect [100 emoji] [100 emoji] [100 emoji] [flexed bicep emoji]”

lmaoooo now all the Air Force bros are like “OH SHIT OH SHIT” and flying around all panicked lol

“OH GOD, OH FUCK” somebody help me please why is this chapter so unexpectedly funny

NOW WHAT LOL

did the Noumu explode??

(ETA: this page is literally indecipherable to me.)

and now AFO is suddenly taking over and Tomura’s landing on one of the fighter jets still all crazed

SIGH

I’m sure you will lol. a James Patterson ghostwriter could put this quirk to better use than we’ve seen it used in this fight tbh

“do it now, Star” do what now??

oh for fuck’s

are you really gonna pointlessly squish your Respect Women Juice-drinking Air Force bros just so we can all feel even worse about this situation sob

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU

NOPE, INSTEAD SHE HESITATED FOR TOO LONG AND HE GOT HER

holy shit she basically just gave up? just straight up stopped fighting basically

I mean it wasn’t like the options were suddenly reduced to a binary “kill your buddies or let TomurAFO get you.” there were seriously more than just those two options here. you could have dodged him, or done literally anything else other than just standing there with your vaguely wistful expression and letting him grab you, Star

anyway so that’s it I guess. not one single person reading this was ever expecting any different. like Mirko and Nagant before her, S&S gets to be show-stealing and badass for approximately 1.5 to 3 chapters before her fairy godmother Horikoshi’s magic finally wears off, and her resourcefulness turns back into a pumpkin

I mean, idk. like I said, I never expected anything else. it would just be nice if we could get a fight like this where the badass lady character actually won. or lost, but still stayed relevant to the plot afterwards (and was actually relevant in any way before the fight, for that matter). or if Horikoshi would stop doing this every few months just because he can lol

anyways but good game. down to the wire. nothin but respect

[callmeshakespurr]

Hey, if you're requests are open could you do a Rick Flag × Male Villian Reader (fluff) idk something cute where Rick Flag ends up falling in love with Male Reader, and the feeling is mutual. Idk you can fo what you want with it. ❤

Rick Flag x Male Reader

Requested: yes

Category: fluff, just a little bit of angst

Warnings: slight torture (?), i mention a knife like,, once

Note: I haven’t watched Suicide Squad in some time, so this could’ve turned out just the tiniest bit yandere, I hope you don’t mind! Also- I kinda struggled with this cause its my first time writing an actual one shot, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways (:

Tysm for requesting, hope you enjoy it <3

“Where is he?”, Amanda Waller called out as she walked down the hallway, towards the high security room you were currently kept in — Colonal Richard ‘Rick’ Flag not far behind her.

Her call grabbed the attention of the two guards, who stood in front of your cell.

“Is he in there?”, Amanda asked again, approaching the door with fast steps. One of the guards nodded and opened the thick metal door to let the director and the colonel in.

Amanda Waller had tried to get her hands on you for almost five years now, after you first made an apperiance in a club, killing two people. After that, several assassinations followed. Nobody knew who you exactly were, what you looked like, who you worked for; you were like a shadow — what people then came to call you, Shadow.

The major reason of why nobody could get a hold of you even in the slightest bit, was because you always vanished before anybody could even spot you.

After two years of not being able to catch you, the police gave up on further investigation in your cases. Amanda didn’t break so easily though. She wanted you in one of those cells she kept so many freaks in already, and she wasn’t going to give up until she had you sitting behind one of those metal doors, unable to escape her.

After all these years of going after you, she did manage to find out two major things about you. Why you always managed to escape without anyone catching a glimpse of you, and what your weakness was.

All these things led to the present situation.

You sat in a dark room, the only light source being a small lamp, dangling from the ceiling. Your ankles were tightly cuffed to the chair you were sitting on, on your wrists and neck you felt something cold and heavy, which seemed to send small electric shocks through your body every few seconds.

You weren’t sure where you exactly were, since you passed out before they got you. Hell, you didn’t even know who ‘they’ were.

You closed your eyes, trying to concentrate on your thoughts, which was not as easy as you hoped it would be. To say that you were in pain was an understatement. The electricity flowing through your body kept you from thinking straight, and send a wave of pure pain through your limbs with every shock you got.

A female voice ripped you from your trance, and you slowly opened your eyes again, head still hanging low. You knew that voice and you knew that you didn’t stand a chance anymore.

“Your powers won’t work anymore, unless i allow you to use them, so don’t even try.”, that voice belonged to none other than Amanda Waller, probably the only person on this planet you actually feared. You were never scared of what her minions could do to you, no. You were scared of what she could do to you if she ever managed to get you — which almost happened on several occasions.

You clenched your fists, trying to ignore the pain that came over you again, as you frantically tried to somehow sort your thoughts and find a way out of this, but nothing seemed to work. There was no way out of this. There was no escaping this. The feeling of helplessness washed over you, a feeling you didn’t like at all.

“You’re Y/N L/N, you’re a teleporter, thats how you managed to always vanish before the police got to the crime scene”, Amanda spoke, watching you as you sat there on the chair, staring at the ground, unable to move a single muscle. “It took me some time, but i managed to figure out how to block your powers”, she continued, taking slow steps towards you “Teleporters are extremely sensitive to electricity, some mightve even already died due to the constant pain if they were in your place.” She stopped right in front of you, looking down at your slumped figure, the only thing restraining you from falling over being the thick metallic handcuffs that kept your hands tied behind the chair.

Amanda grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at her. Your sight was blurry and it cost you a lot of strength to even keep your eyes open, but you did manage to make out the silhouette of a rather tall person standing at the entrance of the cell, watching the whole scene, before your focus was back on the woman in front of you. “You’re actually a very pretty boy, Y/N, and very smart too, it’s a shame that you decided to end up like this.”, she said, before letting your face go. “Rick, take him to get the injection, then get his things and introduce him to the team. After that, you can take him to his provided cell.”

The man standing at the door — Rick, you assumed — made his way towards you, as Waller left the room, leaving you to the colonel.

Rick helped you out of the cuffs, that kept you strapped to the chair. Looking at you, he almost felt bad, you looked so drained and helpless. He had never exactly agreed with anything Amanda Waller did, but seeing what just a few hours under her control did with you was another level of not agreeing with something she did.

“Can you stand?”, the colonel asked and you nodded, slowly rising from the chair. Your legs wobbled beneath your weight and you instinctively grabbed onto whats next to you, which just so happened to be Ricks Arm.

After making sure you had gathered enough strength, he began to walk with you towards the door.

time skip

It’s been a little over a week now since they’ve brought you here — you think. Every day was the same. Sitting on the cold floor of your cell, staring at the camera in the corner of your ceiling, some guard bringing you food, you not eating it, some guard taking it away again and reporting everything to someone, more staring at the camera, someone bringing you food again, you not eating it again, the guard taking it away again and reporting everything, all over again, everyday.

The only slightest bit good and entertaining thing was the colonel — Rick Flag, as you learned was his name — checking up on you every now and then when he didn’t have anything better to do. You didn’t quite understand why Rick was making efforts to look after you, just for you to not answer his questions anyways, but you appreciated it. It made everything a little more bearable.

Of course, you were one of the bad guys, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a life outside of assassinations.

When you weren’t working for other bad guys, you loved to just sit in your apartment and read, you loved to go onto high buildings and watch over the city. You dreamed of leaving everything behind and exploring the world someday. You worked at your favourite coffee shop, hell you even had a cat. The thought of your only friend being probably already dead or suffering made you sad, but what could you do about it?

Sometimes, you wish you hadn’t picked the path you were on, but looking back at the time you chose to work for the bad guys, you didn’t really have a choice.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted, when you heard the door to your cell open. Hoping it would be Rick, you looked up, your eyes only half open from the lack of strength you had. What you did not expect was to see Amanda Waller standing in front of you, Rick Flag behind her.

“Stand up”, the woman demanded. You listened, as it was of no use to resist her orders. You slowly got up on your feet, which didn’t last long, since you almost immediately fell over, landing painfully hard on your knees. To your suprise, Rick immediately rushed to your side, helping you stand up again.

“I don’t need him on missions like this”, Waller spoke as she watched you lean onto Rick for support. “Take him to the base, the council and I will be waiting there in the meeting room for him.” With that, Waller left again.

The way to the car wasn’t long, but with you almost not being able to stand on you own, let alone walk on your own, it took a little longer, which only fueled your anxiety. The ride to the base was even worse though, since nobody talked and you had five guards sitting around you.

Finally arriving at the door of the meeting room, which was located in the base, the two guards standing in front of it immediately opened the door as soon as they saw the colonel.

The room was quiet at an instance, when you stepped a food inside, Rick following very close behind you — just in case something should happen.

Amanda Waller stood in front of a group of suit wearing men who all sat at one big round table, most likely discussing something. She gestured you to come next to her, to which you complied.

“And who is this now, Director Waller? A new addition to your group of- freaks?”, asked one of the men as he looked you up and down, probably doubting that someone like you could be much of an good asset.

“This, Gentlemen,”, she grabbed your arm and moved you a little forward, making you almost tumble “is Y/N L/N or ‘Shadow’, he was an assassin for almost five years now, working for several other bad guys. Nobody got a hold of him till now due to his teleporting ability. He has over a hundred confirmed kills and not once did anyone ever get near him. I’m using these electric cuffs”, she grabbed your arm again and lifted it up to present the metal cuff, which was secured around your arm “to block his powers, which means he cannot teleport, as long as the electric shocks are on full power. As soon as I turn down the power a little, he can use his power, it is more draining and limited to a certain radius, but it works. I have him under full control and I want him on the team.” Murmurs broke out between the people in the room, as soon as she finished.

“I’m sorry, director, but do you really think it’s a good idea to put another- another misfit on that team? They’re bad guys and will always stay bad guys, and their freaky abilities make them even more dangerous.”, one of the men in suits spoke.

“As I said, I have him under full control, gentlemen. Let me demonstrate.”, Amanda spoke, turning to you, as the people sitting at the table sat back.

Waller took out some kind of remote and tapped on something. First your body tensed due to all the stress and pain you were under at the moment, but as soon as Amanda tapped on the remote, the electric shocks suddenly weren’t as intense as they were before, and your whole body relaxed, your eyes almost watering due to the wave of relief washing over you.

Rick was more than tense while watched the whole situation, only realizing in how much pain you actually were when Waller turned down the intensity of the electric shocks emmitting from the metallic cuffs you were wearing.

Waller looked you in the eyes with a serious expression on her face. “You disobey, you die, got that?” And suddenly you remembered the injection they gave you, when they first brought you here.

Seeing you had no other choice than obeying her, you simply gave her a small nod and looked around the room, taking in every detail. You looked at the small table in front of you, spotting a sharp knife, which you figured was put there by Amanda specifically for you in this exact situation.

With fast movements, you grabbed the knife and teleported to the other side of the room, holding the knife to one of the mens throat. Everyone in the room stiffened even more, and you heard at least three guns clicking.

Looking up, your eyes met Rick’s, before you looked over to Waller, who was already fixated on you. You slowly pressed the knife more against the man’s throat, wanting to see what Waller was going to do. The next electric shock came and you almost yelled out in pain, letting the knife fall, teleporting back to Waller and falling to your knees, clutching the metal around your neck.

Rick wanted to rush to help you, but was quickly held back by Amanda, gesturing him to wait.

“As you can see, I can control his powers however i want to, and should he disobey in any way, or should his powers bolt”, she tilted your head with her finger, than pressed onto the spot on your neck where they injected you, “he dies.”

Still staring at the ground, you swallowed harshly. You’ve never wanted to go back in time and undo all the bad things that happened so badly like in this specific moment. Maybe if you’re parents hadn’t ever found about your ability, you would still be at home, with your family, not here, being tortured by some government lady who wanted to use you as a weapon.

“There’s one more thing. I don’t need him on any mission in this shape. He needs to recover, quickly, and while doing so, I want him under Rick Flags complete supervision. It might cost a little more effort, but think about of how much use he will be for us”, Amanda said, a mischievous expression crossing her face for a few seconds, that going unnoticed by you and pretty much everyone else in the room.

time skip

Three whole months had passed. You’ve been staying with Rick ever since Amanda Waller announced that he had to fully supervise you.

The time you spent with Rick made you feel as if everything wasn’t so bad after all. Occasional talking here and there, Rick cooking something for the both of you every now and then, you almost felt normal again — weren’t there the electric cuffs reminding you of what was real every few minutes.

Over the past three months, your sleep only got worse. You got used to the constant pain by now, but the electricity didn’t only affect you physically, it also messed up your thoughts like hell. Sometimes you didn’t know where up and down was anymore, everything was all over the place inside your mind.

That was also the reason, you were up right now, in the middle of the night, sitting at the big window in your bedroom, looking over the city. You hugged your knees tightly to your chest, and rested you chin on them, letting a few tears slip. You hadn’t cried in a long time, but you were just so exhausted. You were never this close to giving up than right now. Nothing seemed to ever be okay again, you couldn’t do anything but accept your fate.

Being to entangled in your own thoughts, you didn’t hear your bedroom door open.

It didn’t take Rick a long time to spot you in your place at the window. He just came home from a mission that Amanda Waller had wanted you on, but Rick insisted on giving you a little more time to deal with everything.

The tall man closed the door as quietly as he could behind him, which seemed to not be quiet enough, since you jumped slightly at the noise, quickly standing up and turning around. Rick gave you an apologetic look, before slowly walking towards you, “I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked, I just wanted to check up on you and see if you’re alright-“ “It’s fine, I’m fine”, you interrupted him, wiping your tears quickly, taking a deep breath.

Rick frowned, he had never seen you cry before. He cared too much for you and he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself. Stopping in front of you, he looked down at you, only for his eyes to meet yours. For a moment, you both got lost in each others eyes, before you ripped your gaze away, looking to the side.

“Do you want anything else from me?”, you asked shakily, getting a little nervous with his burning stare on you.

“I actually do, yes-“, he hesitated for a moment. You looked up at him with a questioning expression. “Close your eyes”, you complied, closing your eyes slightly, one hand moving to hold onto Rick’s shirt so you didn’t lose your balance. You felt him lean down slightly, till you could fell his warm breath on your cheek. You surpressed a shiver, as he carefully tilted your head.

Now, you didn’t really know what to expect; you and Rick had gotten closer but you weren’t sure, if there were actual romantic feelings, or if he just pitied you, so a kiss wasn’t exactly what you expected. But you definitely would’ve expected it more than what happened next.

A small ‘click’ echoed through the dark room, the next thing you knew was, that all the pain suddenly disappeared. Your eyes watered when you felt Rick’s fingers carefully removing the heavy metallic cuffs around your wrists and neco, pure relief washing over you. Your leaned your body onto Rick’s, unable to support your own weight for a few moments.

When you had finally gained control over your own body again, you moved back a few centimetres and looked up to Rick, who met your confused eyes. “I couldn’t bear to see you in so much pain any longer, so I triedmy best to convince her and I’d say I’m lucky that she trusts me with you.”, the colonel smiled a little, raising a hand to softly carress your cheek. Your eyes widened. He quickly removed his hand again and apologized, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Rick took a step back, still being careful so you didn’t lose balance again, “I should go, and you should sleep, you need to be well rested and-“

You were fast to interrupt him by taking a quick step towards him, getting a little on your tiptoes, before pressing a small kiss to Rick’s lips. You carefully looked him in the eyes again, “I don’t know either, but it just felt like the right thing to do.”

It took the man a few seconds to process what just happened, but when he did, he was quick to kiss you again, his soft lips over yours, moving slowly, as you kissed back. He put his hands on your waist, while you locked yours behind his neck. You kissed for a few moments, before the both of you had to breathe again. “Thank you”, you whispered against Rick’s lips, before receiving another small peck. “Sleep with me tonight?”, he asked quietly, getting lost in your eyes again. You gave him a small nod, allowing him to pick you up and carry you to his room, both of you smiling as you fell onto the mattress.

[xiaowhore]

okay. okay. so i cannot . function . i lied im gonna rant about it now

//luke personal story 4 spoilers utc

i am Devastated. luke pearce is so. he is so much. this route is too much. i havent played through the other ps4 routes yet but i am fairly certain nothing could ever top this. luke has ruined me for anyone else. how am i supposed to go for the other boys nOW?!?!?!??! i can't. the entire time, ill be like This Is Wrong. This Doesn't Feel Right. My Heart Does Not Beat For You

first, i gotta praise the case: the story about the hidaka sisters was really good, especially for a personal story. i did not think they'd put this much effort on it?? it was really dark and holy fuck, nami's voice actor popped off. she sounded really fragile and- im gonna sound weird for saying this, but her screams were voiced really well. like Man. it made me feel so sorry for her.

mc was SO AMAZING in the last few parts of the chapter. she is so?? brave?? perfect?? heroic?????? I'D fall for her too!!!!!! she was crying but she still went by her own to save nami even though there was a low chance of survival 😭😭 luke is a worrywart for good reason!! mc worries about luke injuring himself but she's equally as bad when sacrificing herself for others!!! (dunno how the other choice went, but i picked the one where she provoked daniel and she got beat up........ i wonder if i could have avoided that....)

oh god the lake scene. mc did such a good job to escape from the car. nami gave me a scare when she deadass broke her finger so she could fit her hand through the cuff like what the fuck ma'am!!!!!!! when she was close to giving up, i was like NO. YOU CAME THIS FAR. YOU BROKE A GODDAMN FINGER. YOU CANT GIVE UP NOW!! so glad mc talked her out of it. its also horrifying to think about giving up on another person for your own survival and witnessing how theyd sink after they drown........ or even worse, their dead body floating on the water........ i was thinking no way tot would do that right....

ANYWAYS. CAN WE TALK. ABOUT KAJI YUKI. LIKE OH MY GOD. GIVE THIS MAN A RAISE HE DESERVES IT. his voice gave me chills when luke screamed for the first time when searching for mc like GOD. THE PAIN IN HIS VOICE. THE WORRY. THE ANXIOUSNESS. KAJI YUKI HOW DO YOU DO IT. MY HEART SHATTERED INTO PIECES. like i could feel how luke was so desperate to find the girl he promised to save, and IM JUST SO

I REALLY DID NOT EXPECT IT. THE DESPERATION SOUNDED TOO REAL. I CANNOT BE ANYMORE GRATEFUL THEY GOT KAJI YUKI TO VOICE LUKE PEARCE 😭😭 i am deceased. this chapter destroyed me.

THEN THEN THEN MC WAKES UP AT THE HOSPITAL. THE MOMENT BEFORE AARON AND XU WALKED IN WAS SO SWEET. definitely punched my pillow in frustration at the cockblock even though i have full knowledge that the confession is gonna be at the anniv card lol

i am just so. god. idk whats gonna happen in the anniv card, i just hope when luke tells her the truth about his illness, she wont cry too much......... why must luke be the dying cannon fodder. was the long lost childhood friend private detective national security bureau agent character not interesting enough hyv

[blackberry-gingham]

Could we get some college!Otto HCs PLEASE 🥺🥺

I've been thinking about this exact topic lately tbh, so here we go 👉🏻👀👉🏻

Personally, I have this hc that the doc was like really gangly and scrawny in college, idk like sksskskk 😭✋🏻

Mid key feel like he's one of those big appetite guys with an insane metabolism that kind of just went *poof* once he hit his 30s ish

It's a struggle, because he'd like to find a middle ground in an attempt to help out his looks situation

He doesn't particularly like being bone thin, but he wouldn't say he finds the opposite side of the stick more appealing once he becomes the Otto we all know and love

But as always, his studies come first so he kind of forgets about the dating scene and putting that level of effort into shaping his appearance

He's a bit funny looking bc he's all long, wobbly legs supporting a shorter torso lmao

In contrast, he's friends with Norman of course who's athletic and handsome and popular, as we all know

I guess really I should say """friends""" with Norman, tbh

Not that he's dumb, but Otto is far more intelligent then Norman, so really he's only kept around as a personal study aide

Low key, I feel like Otto is aware that Norman just uses him, but...

If you think adult Otto has bad social skills, then I'm sorry to say, but teenage/young man Otto's socializing talents are abysmal

He really went through college with no friends tbh, which isn't much of a change from his younger years

Hell, the only reason he even has Norman (in a sense, that is) is because Norman Osborn is the type of man with a sixth sense for opportunity

Opportunities... That see to his benefit, that is

A life time of loneliness has left college Otto with a terrible case of shyness

I'm remembering that one piece of fan art about tssm Otto where he's like "w-why are you starting at me" and y/n is like "you have a nice face" and then he goes completely red and hides his face behind his papers

I can't remember the artist or blog, but if you know you know 😭 (guys it’s @mimiscappinisideblog !,!!)

Anyway, yeah. Literally... That

He'd probably explode in a very similar fashion to tssm Otto in that little comic of he ever got even a crumb of romantic attention

It's not that college Otto doesn't want to date... More so that he has a very hard time finding anyone to be attracted to him 😪🥲

Although, he doesn't exactly help himself, considering all he does is hide away in the labs and library studying

He is in things like the physics club and stuff like that tho at least!

Unfortunately, it's hard to find a date in those kinds of circles

He easily graduates top of his class btw, which makes Norman pretty salty

Osborn takes it as just one more slight against him and all the more reason to make future Otto (his employee, Otto...)'s life more miserable...

[lovethisletters]

Poly MC! hc for the: Demon Brothers!

This is my first time writing anything about poly relationships! So I'm a bit nervous! I took the time to do a bit of research about the subject...however I still have a lot to learn; if you find anything that might be offensive please let me know! Just know I didn't do it with any ill intentions and I'll make sure to correct my mistakes!

Also I didn't knew if you refered to a poly MC who is in a relationship with all of the brothers or how each individual brother would react to MC coming out as poly to them and later starting a poly relationship and how they behave in said relationship...so I did the latter bc I found it to be a bit more easy to write and the first option would have been way too long and I was worried it might come off as boring because of it :c (but maybe I'll try to edit it and then upload it...some day...idk)

so...here it is!

Keys: MC = your main character name

Summary: MC comes out as poly to the Demon Brothers and how they behave in a poly relationship!

Additional notes: MC is gender neutral!

TW: small mentions or implications of jealous/possessive behavior (they're very minimal, but still...just in case)

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Lucifer

Lucifer is probably the one you're the most nervous to talk to.

But when you finally find the courage to do so it goes...to put it mildly, a bit... weird.

He stares blankly at you like you just said to him that water is a liquid or something, he's not very...responsive.

His reaction might come off as rude, considering you spend all this time trying to figure out the "best" way to come out and talk about the possibility of starting a poly relationship.

But the reason why he's not talking much is because he's trying to avoid saying anything he might regret later, you see... he's trying to process his own feelings towards the matter.

Lucifer is someone who has lived for a long, looooooong time, so it's more likely than not that he's already experienced being in a poly relationship.

thing is...such relationship was more experimentation rather than something serious.

And now he has you...someone for who he'll be willing to die for...

He won't say it but deep down he feels like his pride has been bruised.

He just doesn't want to "share" you, you're his and his alone!

But when he looks up at you, and see just how nervous you are, waiting patiently for any kind of reaction from him.

He realizes he's thinking of you as an object and not a person and mentally kicks himself in the face for it.

Lucifer reaches for your hand and offers you a small smile.

After a long conversation where you two express your own desires and worries, you two agree and decide to give it a try.

At first... I'm not gonna lie...it would be quite... difficult...

The man is possessive and struggles to see you giving any kind of affection to any of his brothers.

However I think he genuinely wants this to work, he wants to see you happy and knows that just because you also love his brothers doesn't mean you love him any less.

So he'll sit down and talk to you whenever he feels jealous, he knows communication is key and it honestly makes him feel a bit better.

With time Lucifer comes to accept it; He loves you and he loves his brothers and it makes him happy that they all can share such bond with you.

Mammon

I think he's the one who'll have a harder time adapting to a poly relationship.

I'll even go as far to say Lucifer's jealousy pales in comparison to Mammon's and I think this is due to his low self-esteem.

He won't accept it but he's jealous af when he sees you "getting cozy" with any of his brothers.

He'll even interrupt the moment by placing himself in the middle of whoever you were getting close to or think about some lame excuse to take you away.

This makes things more difficult and tense for everyone, so if Mammon continues his shenanigans expect a LOT more arguing from the brothers...(yes...more than normal...)

You'll have to sit him down and talk to him about his insecurities.

The first times he won't be very open with you, I think he might even get a bit angry if you even imply he's jealous and act all offended and walk out of the room.

Surprisingly the one who makes him understand how toxic he's being and how much this affects you is Asmo!

He'll have a serious talk with him, and just the fact of seeing his often bubbly and cheerful young bro being all serious is enough for Mammon to realize that what he's been doing and how he's been acting hurts you and his brothers.

He'll apologize...the Mammon way...

But ultimately he now makes an effort to respect whenever you're close to one of his brothers.

Just like Lucifer. Mammon will come to accept you love him and his brothers all the same.

He'll sometimes even suggest places you all can go together for a date.

Please, be patient with the avatar of greed with time he will come to accept that love exist in more than one way or form.

Leviathan

Surprisingly, unlike his older brothers, your favorite shut-in-otaku has an easier time adapting to a poly relationship.

Easier, however does not mean problems are inexistent...

He has a low self-esteem and sometimes might get the feeling that you're ""picking favorites""

However he won't tell you anything about it, and he'll just try to pretend like nothing is wrong.

Fortunately for you, Levi is quite easy to read so you immediately notice whenever he's feeling sad.

But all you have to do is have a little gaming session with him, and as the two of you "game" the night away he'll eventually open up to you about whatever is bothering him.

All it takes is a little reassurance and saying "I love you" to the avatar of envy from time to time and he'll be all good with you showing affection to the rest of his brothers.

Satan

Uhhhh...this is a tricky one...

You see...Satan is probably the second brother you came out to and perhaps you didn't even realized that you did because it just happened so natural.

The two of you were talking and it just slipped out of your mouth and he was like "hahaha, right?" And continued the conversation as normal.

He genuinely doesn't care, (don't get me wrong I don't mean that in a bad way) but all he knows is that he loves you and he wants you to be happy, and if expanding the love that the two of you have to his brothers makes you happy, then so be it!

However... remember I said this was tricky?

Satan has no issue with you being affectionate with his brothers...all of them except for Lucifer...

When he sees you getting close to Lucifer he won't say anything, he won't make a scene or a passive-agressive remark, he'll just excuse himself and exit the room. (Neither he will confront you about it later when the two of you are alone)He won't say anything at all; he'll just stay silent and pretend like nothing is wrong.

However you'll be able to notice Satan's true feelings whenever Lucifer has a small present or gesture with you.

Oh? Lucifer gifted you a $300,000 coat? Well, Satan will give you another coat but this one is $600,000.

Lucifer treated you to dinner at ristorante six? Well, darling... guess what? Satan will reserve the entire building just for you!

At some point he will notice how bad this makes you feel, since he's turning a relationship into a competition and that's no good...

He'll eventually take a step back and realize how childish he's being, how his behavior hurts your feelings and might have even made you feel guilty or responsible for his beef with his older brother.

Before you even decide to talk to him about it, he already knows what you're trying to say, so he'll be the one to sit you down and apologize for his wrongdoings.

You're someone who he values dearly and all that he wants is for you to be happy, so he'll be willing to make the effort to get along or at least be a little more tolerant of Lucifer.

There might be times where they still fight and stop talking to each other for long periods of time, but the two of them will take the time to let you know that this has nothing to do with you and that there's no reason for you tu feel guilty.

Because if there's something in wich both, the avatar of pride and wrath agree in... Is in how much they love you.

Asmodeus

Asmodeus (definitely) was the first one to know about you being polyamorous.

He probably knew before you even said anything, let's be honest here...

He's probably the one who you're more comfortable talking about it.

The brothers accept you, yes...but Asmo understands you!

He knows that the world can be quite cruel to people who love differently to what our society stablish as "normal".

Whenever he expressed his liking for more than one person he was shamed or labeled as someone promiscuous who'll never be deserving of "true" love.

It happened in the celestial realm, in the human realm, and even sometimes here in the devildom.

Angels where expected to only focus in the lord and nothing else, some humans are close minded and shame whoever is different from them, and demon's often confuse love with obsession and get easily tangled up in possessive behavior, often viewing their partners as objects rather than individuals with their own goals and desires. (his brothers are the perfect example of that)

So he just knows how difficult it might have been for you to find acceptance.

So he gives it to you; acceptance, reassurance, however many times you need to.

He'll be the one to encourage you to talk with his brothers, he'll be there to support you if you ever feel nervous, and he'll be the one to call his brothers out on their bs whenever they start to show any signs of toxic behavior.

He knows in all relationships communication and trust in your partners is key to a successful relationship, so he reminds this to everyone and even goes as far as to make plans where everyone feels included.

Overall the avatar of lust is the voice of reason in this relationship, because he knows better than anyone else that love is something that can't and should never be limited by what others believe or expect "true love" should look like.

Beelzebub

You weren't sure how Beel would react once you told him.

But still you were pleasantly surprised by Beel's reaction!

He was so accepting from the beginning and even thanked you for trusting him enough to share this with him.

He's happy that you want him to form part of this relationship.

He knows his brothers love you as much as he does and that you love them back, so he sees this as the perfect option for everyone.

He even thinks this relationship has brought everyone closer together.

Over all the avatar of gluttony is more than happy to be with you and share your affection with people he holds equally as dearly.

Belphegor

Belphie, much like Lucifer struggles to understand why would you want such a thing?

Is his love not enough for you?

It takes little more time for him to understand you, and learn that love doesn't just limits to one person.

He can be a bit insensitive some times, so he might accidentally say something hurtful to you about it.

And that's when Asmo has to intervene...

He'll have a talk with his younger brother and make him realize that there's more than one form of love and how his words might have hurt you.

He'll apologize...(much like Mammon) in his own way...

After thinking about it for a while, he realizes he's happy whenever you show affection to Beel, and wonders if it would be the same with the rest of his brothers.

Slowly but surely, Belphie it's more open to this new relationship.

There'll be times where he might try to monopolize your love, but he'll stop once you, Beel or Asmo call him out on it.

His favorite thing of this new relationship is whenever you spend time with him and Beel.

Please be patient with the avatar of sloth.

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

If you find any grammatical errors let me know! I'm trying to improve my english and that would help me so so much!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov  where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be as fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway, thank you for reading!

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

[justfandomtings]

Character study of William murderface

Cw: child abuse, ptsd, trauma, internalized homopobia,ect.

Throughout the show, murderface has been presented as a shitty person that is untalented, leeches off of his friends/ fame, and honestly just seem to have gotten lucky when getting into dethklok.

Which is true, but I want to look in a little deeper why he's like this. (Note:this might be kinda head cannonish. I have some examples from the actual show but since we never got a deep backstory for murderface or get many murderface centric episodes I'll be filling in some empty spaces.)

Murderface in the show

Murderface is extremely self loathing and has had moments where he just goes so hard in on himself.

Season 1 episode 1

We see this in the very beginning when he refers to himself as the 'fat one.'

It could've been played off as a simple joke, which it was in the show for the audience watching. But in the show's universe and for the character, this will be an occurring thing.

This continues in

Season 1 episode 3

It's murderface's birthday and the boys throw murderface a party. During his party murderface is shown complaining and being stand-offish. You would think the last thing he would want is a party, yet he still sends out invites to his bandmates. (Note: noticed how the invites were sent right after murderface left the room? Idk it just seemed like he was embarrassed or scared his bandmates would laugh at him for wanting a birthday party. He even tried to act non chalant when the invite said "come if you want, who gives a piss." when they did throw him a party he still came)

When the boys pulled a little, kinda mean but harmless prank on him, literally giving him the gift of nothing. Murderface was fucking hurt, like genuine tears almost left this man's eyes when he come into his room to get his thing's and 'run away'.

Of course the boys did give murderface an actual gift, which honestly had a lot of thought and effort put into it. This makes murderface cry a tear. (Of blood but you know still a tear)

This is the example of the boy's showing they care for murderface. But even after this big gesture murderface will continue to believe the opposite.

The show continues and we get the first and honestly only backstory for murderface.

Season 1 episode 6

When the boys get a band therapist, we find out the tragic murder/suicide of murderface's parents. His father killing his mother then himself with a chainsaw, this whole thing happens while murderface as a baby sits in his highchair unaware while eating his cereal. This flashback makes murderface kinda sit there in shock as he pisses his pants.

(Note: murderface has said in the show that his appearance was the reason his parents are dead. If that really was the case, why didn't his father kill him or at least killed him after he killed his mother? Why did his father just kill his wife and himself? Never laying a single hand on murderface? Will get back to that later.)

Season 1 episode 9

Bringing up this episode may be confusing to some for bringing this up since it doesn't focus solely on murderface. He doesn't even get that much screen time this episode. But I would like to point out his actions in that episode.

In this episode the boys adopt a young teen boy they name fatty ding dong and raise him as their son for probably couple of weeks. While the boys all had their...interesting way of raising him. Murderface had the most physical fights with fatty ding dong. Mostly when we misbehaved. Like hitting him, shocking him non stop with a tazer, beating him for eating his civil war boots ect.

I just like to point out that murderface was raised by his grandparents. We'll come back to more of that later in the post.

Season 1 episode 11

The band gets reunited with their families and what we see from murderface and his family is that they are very violent towards each other. Murderface tries to choke his grandmother when looking in at her mouth as she chewed. Pickles and Nathan had to snap himself out of it, murderface apologized saying it was his fault for looking to deeply.

Like that was some kind of trigger from his past that made him black out and get violent.

He was also highly against buying his grandfather a wheelchair, only doing so because the boys agreed to be nice towards their family to get them to leave.

Even when they were spending time with each other, they never touched each other William kept his distance. Only ever touching if it was fight related.

In the same episode we see why, Stella was so physically abusive towards murderface, spraying fucking pepper spray into his eyes when he did..nothing? He wasn't aggressive or was even part of the issue. She just attacks him because she had to change his diapers?

This belittlement and physical abuse continues everytime they are together on screen.

So to bring back up season 1 episode 9. With how murderface treated fatty ding dong we can assume that's how we was being treated while under the care of his grandparents. Children soak up things like a sponge. Whether you think they remember it or not. Many psychological reports has shown that children will mimick and repeat behaviors and actions their caretakers do. If it's right or not, children will do things because that's what this adult dose. That's what they see at home. It's normal to them if that is the environment they grow in. Even if the child feels like something is off or wrong. They won't know exactly what is wrong or why because it's all they know.

So if this is how murderface was raised, which highly may be the case since we see Stella physically abuse murderface even as an adult. He might have actually thought this is how you raise a child, this is what you do to a child when they misbehaved. Nobody in his life has corrected murderface or explain to him that this way of discipline isn't ok or even discipline to begin with, it is abuse.

So, we are to believe with the information we have now. Is that murderface was most likely abused as a child, probably all the way up till he was able to get away from them and join dethklok.

With this information we can apply this to his behavior in the show. A side effect from child abuse is suicidal behavior. Throughout the show Murderface would now and then casually commit about hurting or killing himself.

Season 1 episode 2

Murderface casually states if it'll be brutal enough for him to just take his life after Nathan deltes another record. Or when the boys kindly ask him to stop eating beans, he gets oddly emotional and says he'll just starve to death then.

Another effect from child abuse is eating disorders and obesity.

You already know this a big part of murderface's character. There are times where he's seen constantly eating junk food, to eating nothing and just drinking coffee, to the doctor pointing out the back of his teeth are decaying. And murderface informs him it's from throwing up his food.

He also gets teased for his weight being called chubby and fat, ect. Murderface has a hard time with his weight, his excessive eating may even be seen as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Other effects such as aggressive behavior, low self esteem, dissociation, ect. Is also shown within the show.

Season 1 episode 15

Murderface gets into a motorcycle accident and is sent into the hospital. This near death experience gets him on a religious journey. Maybe to find answers to certain questions or possibly wondering where he was going to go if he did die? Is he a good person, why do certain things happen to people, what's the meaning of life?

He asked the guys if he really deserved to live. Does he really deserve to be brought onto this world, being a part of a pretty good and rare type of life.

The boys being emotionally closed off don't really answer his question. They honestly brush it off but they do go along with murderface on his spiritual journey.

He eventually chooses no religion, but I feel that near death experience stuck with him. He either decided that life was too short so might as well live it, or a more cynical view on life. That it's meaningless then who cares if he died?

Season 2 episode 11

This is probably an episode where murderface was the most sad and self loathing. (This and another episode I can't wait to get to) after his concert, he felt pretty shitty with the outcome and had lead him to feel that he does not deserve the life he has now and wonders why he even shows his face. Just wanting the spot light for one.

Which is really interesting. Because comparing season 1 with the other 3. Murderface in season one had...fans. There were people who genuinely liked him. The prime example is his birthday episode.

When he had a solo, just like in season 2 episode 11. People were cheering his name. Practically screaming at the rooftops for him. So what happened?

We already know that murderface is the least liked member of the band, but even then he still had fans. Hell people committed terrorists attacks just for him on his birthday.

Maybe it was just a loud minority? Who knows, but if in the show as time went on less and less people had him as his favorite or even just liked him would probably get him really insecure.

After the concert failure, Charles let's him host a Nas car event. Which I'd think would've gone actually well if you know, the dethklok curse wasn't a thing.

Also as murderface was planning the event people around him didn't really support him or help him out. Which is mostly murderface's fault, he has a lack of focus and doesn't really plan things through. This is a good reason for partners and others outside wanting to work with dethklok not want to work with murderface. It costs money and a lot of time to do all the things related to dethklok. And murderface's flakeyness is a valid reason for business and others to not have faith in him when related to these things.

BUT! (This is a little bit of projection here) as someone who also has a lack of focus and hard time to get things done. That doesn't mean I don't want to do said thing, that doesn't mean I want to waste others time. I simply have a hard time focusing, I need structure and that little reminder to get things done. But the difference between me and murderface is that I'm not a billionaire.

I am not apart of a popular metal band, with all the money in the world, with a manager that will clean up every little mess I make.

I have more risk, whatever I fuck up will effect me. I will suffer the consequences. Murderface won't. (Also he's a fictional character..so reality won't have any affect on him lol)

But yea, I believe if murderface would suffer from his consequences then he'd be a bit more on things. Also I feel murderface's mental health issues play a huge role in things.

His fear that he's not good enough, eating disorders, ect. Can really mess up your focus.

So, now to the infamous episode. Dethvanity.

Season 4 episode 8

In this episode Murderface in nominated for the most brutal looking award and this. Fucks. Him. Up.

So much so that he actually hallucinates his bandmates and Charles calling him ugly and other things that they never even said.

When he goes to the plastic surgeon, he tells him. A complete stranger, that he hates himself. For murderface to actually admit this deep issue that he's been keeping deep down. For him to show vulnerability to a stranger is pretty sad.

When he goes to Nathan to borrow money, he tells a story of a 'boy' that was so ugly that he's driven his parents to murder suicide. Again he's calling himself ugly and blaming himself for his parents death. (Were going to get back to that too.)

After murderface gets the surgery he days dream about what would happen if he was beautiful. Finally being accepted and able to say fuck you to all those that were shit to him.

Of course, it doesn't end like that. He's face gets infected and is even more ugly than before.

This episode was pretty messed up. Murderface didn't get what he thought would give him validation, he looks down on himself more, and he is humiliated front of 100s of people.

This whole shit show probably validated all the negative thoughts he had for himself.

Next we'll talk about his internalized homopobia. Murderface...is definitely..not straight. He's not gay either he does have sexual attraction to women but his uncomfortably and very interesting moments and visions say he might like more than just that.

Season 2 episode 5

Murderface has a weird thing with eating 'penis' shaped objects or watching other eating said shaped objects.

He has a lot of weird moments where he gets really close to one of his bandmates and just whispers something in their ear. Specifically Pickles and Skwisgaar.

He just said fuck it and tried to bang toki while they were in the submarine.

Had hallucinations of cutting between women, men, animals, even his own grandmother and was distraught when he had a small moment of admitting he way gay.

There's no real specific reason why or how murderface is this scared of being gay. But I feel it may also be with how he grew up. He was probably been told it was wrong to be gay and how immoral it was to like men and you'll burn in hell if you do. Also being gay wouldn't be 'brutal' or 'manly'.

And not to shit on metal heads but you know. They're not the...most..exclusive group of people.

I think murderface is scared to accept he's gay because his grandparents made him feel he would be a bad person if he was or get kicked out of the band if he was.

So, after all I laid on the table, let's wrap this up. Back to the blaming himself of his parents deth. I believe, Williams parents didn't kill/murder themselves because he has ugly. I like to think the opposite, I believe his parents actually dearly cared for him. I think his father had some serious mental issues or something else pushed him over the edge.

It could be anything really, maybe his dad was crazy, maybe it had something to do with the curse. I like to think they both cared for him his dad just..idk snapped.

I'm assuming murderface's grandparents are his dads parents. And seeing how they treated murderface they most definitely treated his dad the same.

Or, it wasn't murder/suicide at all. Buckle in because it's all tv theory over here. I have a hard time to believe that murderface remembered, in such detail in fact. How his parents died, in the flashback he looks to be 7 to 8 months? Traumatic event yes, but there's no way a baby can remember such a thing.

I think, Stella lied to murderface about how his parents died. I think it was just some evil twisted thing she said to make murderface feel terrible about himself. His parents probably unfortunately died in say a car accident or health related issues. But the main thing is how guilty murderface feels, how terrible he feels that he thinks he was the reason he killed his parents when that's far from the truth.

It was either an unfortunate accident or his father killing themselves. But it is not murderface's fault.

The physical abuse from his grandparents, the guilt of believing he's the reason for his parents death, his aggressive internalized homopobia, lack of support, the bullying from his bandmates, body issues/eating disorder, and it just keeps going.

It's no fucking wonder why the man is like this. Don't get me wrong, murderface is an asshole and is responsible for most of his actions.

But that's still a lot of shit for someone to go through.

That's all I have, this is really long. But I hoped you like this little thread. There's still more to his character but this is long enough.