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ineffable-romantics · 1 year ago

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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akutasoda · 1 month ago

Note

hihi!! would it possibly be ok for me to rq some fluffy romantic hcs with a shy fem s/o that musters enough courage to ask sunday to play the pocky game with her pls? ty!!

pocky game

synopsis - convincing him to play the pocky game

includes - sunday

warnings - fem!reader (no pronouns mentioned), fluff, slight crack, maybe ooc, wc - 405

↪sunday would normally be the type that would be completely opposed to these types of games. he probably wouldn't even have an idea of what it was as he doesn't exactly even look at anything similar.

↪even if he did know what it was, he would personally find it tedious or unnecessary. some kind of excuse someone may bring up to garner attention or to be needy.

↪although it was rather comedic with how quickly sunday could change up those ideas when it was you, his partner, and now he was more intrigued about the idea just for you.

↪sunday knew very well you were the shy type, a bit more on the introverted side than him and most people he knew. he never minded however, there was certainly something endearing about you and he would love you regardless.

↪as mentioned before, sunday would probably have little clue on anything to do with the pocky game or anything of the sorts, so you would have to explain.

↪even after mustering up the courage to actually ask him to play the game with you, you would need to muster up a lot more to actually explain it to him to where he understood properly what you were asking of him.

↪but eventually, he would oblige to your request. sunday would practically do anything for you at a simple request and so even if he didn't still understand what he was doing, he would still comply.

↪especially since he couldn't have imagined just how long it took for you to work up the courage to ask him and so he would feel slightly bad to immediately shut you down.

↪and so eventually you would get him to play the pocky game with you. although this could be the kind of situation where you discover just how shy sunday could be himself.

↪so it could be quite a fifty fifty as to who would back out first, you were naturally shy about everything but sunday could be especially shy about anything to do with affection or even the idea…

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader #x gender neutral reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #hsr sunday #sunday x reader

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strayy-starss · 6 months ago

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Hii! Could you do some Elliott Headcanons? If not, don't be to shy w the Alex smut🤭

✧A/N: Yes of course!! Elliot is definitely my second favorite bachelor, so this is absolutely perfect!! And don’t you worry, Alex smut will be coming in the future 😏. Also, I wasn’t sure if you wanted NSFW or SFW, so I just did them both! Hope you don’t mind :)

✧Warnings: eventual mentions of sex and kinks

☆SFW & NSFW Headcanons for Elliot☆

✧ SFW:

Elliot definitely reads a lot of books (like, a LOT). I feel like this is a given, seeing that he writes them and has a library when he moves in with the farmer. Let me tell you, though, if the farmer is also a reader, he will be ecstatic. And I mean, like, through the roof. He’d want to talk about them all the time and he’d likely recommend lots of books for you to read based on both your preference and his.

I think he’d also love to read books out loud to you, whether or not he wrote them or not. His voice is angelic though, so it’s not like the farmer is complaining.

Speaking of books, he’d definitely ask you for your opinion on plot lines or scenes for his stories, regardless of whether you’re a bookworm or not. Mostly I feel like he’d just seek validation that his writings are as good as the ones that he’s read, or just good in general.

I feel like sometimes, and I mean VERY rarely, Elliot will spiral into a place of despair when it comes to his writing. When that happens, he can go into writer’s block and will push you away to think of ideas. If this happens, depending on the severity, I think you may be able to pull him out of it with reassuring words and cuddles. If he��s in too deep, however, it’s best to give him space until he makes it to a better place, where he either figures something out, or decides it isn’t worth the trouble. He’d definitely apologize to you after the fact and make it up to them with lots of TLC.

Elliot doesn’t use the words “pretty” or “handsome”. No, he uses words like “gorgeous” “stunning” “glorious” and “ravishing”. I’m sorry, but this man is way too sophisticated to use simple words. Make that shit fancy and pair it with a silky voice and you get Elliot.

Elliot’s a wine kinda guy. He’d definitely have those nights where he feels compelled to make a charcuterie board with all those cheeses and grapes and have some red wine with you.

Now, I know you’re all thinking it, and I'm thinking it too: Elliot with a ponytail. I bet you he loves his hair, but it does get annoying sometimes when it falls in his face when he’s trying to write or help out around the farm, so he definitely keeps a hair tie on his wrist in case he needs it. He’ll always offer it to you, too, if he thinks you need it.

He’s an early riser, too. He’ll be up before you and he’ll be sitting and reading a book with a cup of coffee and he’ll greet you like, “Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?”

And like the gentleman he is, he probably does a lot of extra and unnecessary, but thoughtful, things for you. Like, if you’ve had a long day, he’d sit you down and take your shoes off for you, even though you insist that you can do that yourself. Then he’d take off your jacket if you were wearing one, and make you a nice cup of tea so that you can wind down with him.

✧NSFW BELOW THE CUT✧ ⬇

✧ NSFW:

I firmly believe that Elliot’s a switch. He’s always willing to take initiative, but we all know that Elliot is a pretty princess at heart and sometimes just wants all the attention.

God help me this man knows how to talk dirty. He’s read enough books that he knows exactly what to say to you in every circumstance, and exactly how to turn you on or get you in the mood. And then the next day he’ll act all innocent like he wasn’t just whispering how much he was gonna ruin you last night. He’s the type of guy to say, “I don’t want you to be pleasured. I want you to be trembling.” (Jesus FUCK I’m down bad for him.)

I feel like Elliot would set up a safe word with you, but he’d want it to be something symbolic or fancy or something. Like instead of “baseball” it would be “nightingale” and you'd have to spit that word out when you want him to stop. Speaking of, as soon as you do say the safe word, he’ll stop everything and just gently hold you, whispering that he’s sorry and that he hopes you can forgive him, even though you really aren’t that mad at him at all, just a little shaken.

As far as kinks go, I think Elliot is open to almost all kinks with a few restrictions on things that he just isn’t into. I feel like he’d especially be into bondage and blindfolding. It’s more of a spiritual thing for him, as it opens you up fully to him, like you can’t hide anything from him anymore and you completely trust him with your body. If you aren’t into that, then he’ll be a little disappointed, but would get over it quickly as long as you promise to let it happen on his birthday.

Elliot absolutely loves to be tied up, though, for the same symbolic reasons. He trusts you with his whole being, and knows that you only want to make him feel good.

He's a sucker for neck kisses, so give him a hickey or two. He wears that collared shirt for a reason, right?

He hates the idea of a gag. He loves to hear you crying out in pleasure. It fuels him and makes him feel happy that he could pleasure you so much. If you want it, though, he'd never deny his lover what they want, even if it means he can't hear you as well.

Elliot naturally isn’t rough when it comes to sex, but he most definitely can be. This man will be on his knees to do exactly what you want him to. He prefers it that way, actually. So long as you give him the guidelines of what you want him to do, he can take it from there. If you don’t, though, he’d probably be asking a lot of: “Is this okay?” Because like the gentleman he is, he would never want to overstep your boundaries, even though he probably knows everything that one can about sex.

He’d definitely use writing as an excuse to see you naked. It would be something about him needing to know the anatomy of a person, regardless of your gender identification or sex. It would be funny if you were a man, too, because then he’d get all flustered when you’d ask why, as he’s a man himself. He’d make up something like how your body is shaped differently than his, and he needs a reference that isn’t himself.

Same thing about writing goes for sex. He might ask you to touch yourself or even him for a scene, and he’d take notes as he’d try to hold himself back from touching you. He’d jot down every little sound you make and every single word you say to “make the scene more real,” though it may or may not be for him to read and masturbate to later.

You later figure this out and tell him that he doesn't need an excuse to have sex with you, but he gets embarrassed and insists that it truly is for his writing, though he will be a little more open-minded about it in the future.

✧ That’s all, thank you for reading!! I also need to make a longer list for Alex. I feel like I didn't do my baby justice, seeing as I wrote much more for Elliot.

#stardew valley #stardew valley smut #sdv elliot x reader #sdv elliott #sdv elliot x farmer #sdv x reader #stardew valley headcanons

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karenandhenwilson · 2 months ago

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People break. Sometimes just a small part of them. Sometimes it happens very unexpectedly about something that wasn't much of a problem until just a moment ago.

I think that's what we saw with Karen in this episode. And I hate that people just dismiss it as a weak storyline, or an unnecessary storyline, or coming out of the blue and therefore being unbelievable.

Actually, it coming out of the blue is exactly why this is so believable.

Mara is back home, but that's not been long. And at first, it didn't look as if it would ever happen until Bobby managed to manipulate Gerrard to help them. Those emotions are still raw. And after they got told in court they weren't allowed any contact with Mara going forward, it probably looked as if there wasn't a chance at all to spend Halloween together for a while. How much time went by between the court hearing and the city council meeting? How long weren't they sure they'd see Mara at all for any of the upcoming holidays?

Now everything might be good on that front. Mara is back home. But the doubt and fear is still lingering in Karen. It's also a change for her in her role as a mother again. She wasn't able to fulfill that role for months, no matter how often they spent time with the Hans. It's a situation they all need to settle in again and that takes time.

You can't tell me Karen isn't thinking about the missed memories of these months of separation. And thinking about how near they had been to miss this Halloween. Which I can very well see would lead to thoughts about holidays Hen missed in the past, how Karen had to deal with Denny and his disappointment on her own then. You all remember Christmas of season 3 where that was such a huge deal, too?

They have this huge party with all of them in full costumes days before Halloween. And they have fun and are creating memories (Jee-Yun growling at her Dad!), but it's not the real holiday. And it is not just Mara's first Halloween with them, it's her first holiday with them, period. And they hadn't planned anything for Halloween because everything was still so uncertain not that long ago.

But now it's all different again. Their family is whole again. And they could have a chance to spend it together. If just Hen didn't have a shift. And so Karen voices her concern and her wishes. And Hen sees that and promises to try. Because of course she wants to spend these days with her family in the end.

But then Hen is swayed by not wanting to slight her best friend, by thinking about Chimney's comfort more than her family's comfort. (Remember season 5 when she offered to chase after Maddie with Chimney without a thought of her own family?) So instead of either Chimney or Hen being able to spend the holiday with the family, they both decided to work and leave Karen alone with all of it. Instead of arguing that the Wilsons have gone through hell while Chimney wasn't separated from his daughter for months; instead of suggesting to just toss a coin so at least one of them has a chance to be there with their children they just decide for everyone to lose.

And that's when Karen breaks. When everything suddenly feels too overwhelming, especially the thought of being responsible for three children while they're out Trik-or-Treating. They're all three good kids. But they'll be excited, the streets will be super busy, their excitement won't just vanish when they're back home and she needs to wrangle them to bed. And there was a chance for Karen not to be alone with all of it, but Hen and Chimney prioritized their friendship over their families.

And Karen just feels left alone and disappointed and airs that frustration.

(And on another note: What a bullshit, Hen, to then turn around and put the burden on your teenage son to look after the two girls in support of Karen! You know, you could have also called Bobby again and asked if that offer was still on the table because you hadn't considered that Karen might need help with the children.)

#911 abc #911 spoilers #8x05 #hen wilson #karen wilson #henren

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tkpuke · 17 days ago

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To be Loved is to be Known

Pairing - Powder x Ekko

Word count: 1,689

In which Ekko starts to feel stressed out while working on the time machine to bring him back to his own universe he belongs in. Powder knows a great method to help relieve his stress, one unbeknownst to him.

This is a tickle fic. Please do not read if that’s not your thing.

Papers were scattered around Ekko, some crumpled up and torn out of frustration. A small beam of light started to make its way into the room, signaling the sun coming up. That didn’t matter to Ekko, however, because what mattered most is why he just can’t seem to brush over this damn minor problem he’s having on the machine.

Footsteps were being heard, getting closer until Powder was revealed. “Thought I’d might find you here. Vander made everyone a delicious breakfast, come down an— have you been up all night?” She stopped in her tracks once getting a full good look at his state, his eyes meeting hers. Visible heavy eye-bags forming and looking fatigued and irritated. Ekko looks over to a window to see the sun, swearing it was only 9 pm two seconds ago.

“No…?” He starts, but Powder gives him one raised eyebrow and he sighs. “Okay, fine, I have been.” He rubs his temple as he leans against the table, Powder joining him as she rests a gentle hand on his shoulder. “But it’s because I’ve come across an issue that just won’t seem to go away, no matter what I do.”

She lets out an airy laugh. “Hey, nothing we can’t fix, right?” A determined smile takes over her features, but doesn’t last long when Ekko didn’t return the smile and just stared at the floor deep in thought.

Powder can read the ins and outs of Ekko. It is one’s job of being a girlfriend, isn’t it? That being said, she can definitely tell how mentally tiring working on this machine is starting to take a toll on Ekko. He’s only ever out to go get food, not wanting to waste any unnecessary time on anything else that’s not working on getting him back home to his people. Powder practically has to drag him out sometimes to get fresh air and hangout with the others that are asking where he’s been.

Powder is smart, no doubt about that. She picked up after a few days that Ekko wasn’t her Ekko, but regardless they are still the same person, hence feeling confident on doing a personal favorite activity of hers that she knows will help Ekko ease up and get his mind off things that are stressing him to the core.

“Want me to tickle you?”

Ekko blinked. “What?”

He slowly looked over to her, an innocent smile she’s wearing. Powder takes a step forward, Ekko takes a step back. “Y’know, what I do to help you relax whenever you get like this.” She says ever so casually as if Ekko is probably thinking ‘oh yeah, that thing!’

But Ekko wasn’t thinking that. Quite frankly, his heart started to beat faster every step Powder attempted to get closer to him, noticing her flexing her fingers a bit. “W…what are you talking ab—“

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t like it.” She cuts him off, grinning slyly when he takes a moment to put the pieces together. In this universe, somewhere along their relationship, Powder made the beautiful discovery that Ekko doesn’t hate being tickled as much as the normal person does. If anything, he absolutely enjoys the playful action and like how Powder stated earlier, drowns any stress out of him.

Only though the Ekko from the original timeline that’s in this Ekko’s body hasn’t quite made that discovery of himself just yet. Hence the confusion, his thought process that Powder has gone mad, and believing that fact of him is simply not true.

He must have been too caught up on his thoughts racing, because he felt himself suddenly backed up into a wall. Trapped, but only momentarily. He looks at an opening to escape on Powder’s left side. Powder reads his stance, knowing exactly his next move.

Ekko makes one last look at Powder. She does the same.

He books it.

You can’t outrun Powder in a place that she knows the ins and outs of. All the shortcuts, exits, and obstacles that would slow down a chase. Which further explains why Powder catches up to Ekko so quickly, pouncing on him as they go down together on the floor. He catches one of her wrists, the other high up out of his reach on purpose.

“Powder! Please.” Ekko nervously giggles out, but feeling a sense of thrill inside that he never felt before. A lively one at that, almost as if he’s excited to see what will happen next.

“Alright alright, your pleas have been heard.” Without any form of build-up, she immediately sticks her hands under his arms and starts wiggling away. “No need to beg for me to tickle you.”

She can’t help but break out into a cheeky smile when her ears pick up that sweet melodic tune: his laughter.

Ekko cannot remember the last time he has been properly tickled ever since Benzo died in his original timeline. He didn’t even know if he still was ticklish, thinking that sort of stuff just kind of vanishes overtime while growing up. Although, clearly the Ekko in this perfect timeline he was stuck in has definitely had people make a habit of tickling him whenever the opportunity arises, especially Powder. She went straight for the kill, having her fingers get trapped in his underarms as he squirms for freedom all the while cackling for the whole world to hear.

“PohohoWDEHEHER!” Is all he can say, struggling to form any coherent sentence without his laughter interrupting the process. She relents a little, scratching a bit lighter. “That’s me!” Powder watches him flail a bit less, noticing how he’s grabbing her wrists but not making any attempts to move them.

“sohomewhere ehehelse. Give me a sehehecond..” he managed to say, already sounding out of breath in the thirty seconds she’s tickled him. He’s never experienced anything like this, all so new. So it might look like Ekko is more ticklish than Powder is use to, finding it a bit cute how he tapped out so fast.

“I would love to, but I’m kind of trapped here mister.” She wiggles her stuck fingers to state the obvious, him giggling hard. Ekko mentally prepares himself a little, slowly raising his arms a bit for her to bring her hands back. He’s a fool to ever think there’s not another spot far worse, because Powder instantly latched onto his knees from behind and started squeezing like there was no tomorrow.

Completely caught off guard by how deadly of a spot his knees were, Ekko snorted out a deep belly laugh and it all continuously spilled out from there. It’s surprising that nobody came in from the start to check out who kept screaming as if they’re getting murdered, but it’s just Ekko who cannot handle a few wiggles here and a few squeezes there.

“Did you just snort?” Powder chuckled, but not expecting any answer from him as he was too busy trying to buck her off. She managed to lock her legs around his in a way where she didn’t budge in the slightest from his hysterical movement, smugly looking down at him.

“Toohoho MUHUCH! NOHOT THERE PLE-“ a sharp hiccup cut him off, feeling absolutely embarrassed and mortified from all these unknown noises he didn’t even know he could make come out of him so freely. Hands started to trail upwards from his knees, a sense of a small break but it wasn’t much of a difference for poor Ekko. “You told me to go somewhere else, remember!?”

Powder almost felt guilty for having way too much fun, but she knew she wasn’t alone with that feeling. Ekko was too, don’t let his reactions ever fool anybody. Noting his hands tightly around her wrists but never moving them, knowing damn well he’s strong enough to easily do so. Saying ‘please!’ but never a ‘stop!’ and suggesting for new spots for her to attack. You’d have to be blind to come to an assumption that he wasn’t enjoying himself.

His laughter was starting to be overtaken by sharp hiccups, which has always been a cue for Powder to stop soon. Soon.

Showing mercy on his knees, her hands find their way to his neck to start lightly skittering. Ekko grabs onto one of them, fingers interlocking with hers. “Ohohokay, stop! I’m nohot stressed, I’m nohohot!”

Powder softly smiles at the sight in front of her, heart feeling warm. The smell of the breakfast Vander made downstairs caused her to stop, realizing she and Ekko both had a plate of untouched food still waiting for them.

She got off of him with ease, sticking out a hand for him to take to help him up. Catching his breath, Ekko took the offering hand and stood up fully, brushing off some dust from his pants. He looks over at Powder, shooting her a cold but jokingly glare. “That was horrible. I’m not that bad to you to deserve that, am I?”

Chuckling, she gives his arm a little push. “If it was so horrible, I would’ve heard you say stop a lot sooner than you did.”

Silence was his response, feeling his face heating up. She’s right, Powder is always right. It’d be pointless for him to argue with her and deny, because even he knows the truth. Ekko enjoyed every second of it, because when was the last time him and Powder ever played around like this? In his timeline, not since they were twelve.

He misses the good times so much, and him needing to relive those memories and emotions were long overdue, but at least he experienced it one last time with someone he so dearly loves before heading back home.

Powder knows he’d never admit it, so she broke the silence first. “How does eggs and french toast sound?” They both share the same smile, Ekko walking right beside Powder as they head on downstairs where everyone else is.

These are the moments he wished he could stay in forever, never having to leave or give up something behind. Ekko will never forget this, forget her, and he’ll promise Powder that.

#arcane tickle #arcane tickle fic #tickle fic #lee! ekko #ler! powder #ler! jinx #jinx arcane #ekko arcane #timebomb tickle #timebomb fic

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personasintro · 1 year ago

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Mutual Help | #26

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.5k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

Two days.

Two days of utter ignorance from Jungkook. It feels like it has become his routine to wake up earlier before you, so when you wake up there's no one but you in Jungkook's home. The same thing happens every evening, when he comes home late at night and barely mutters a single greeting before he scurries to the bathroom. After that, he buries himself in a blanket still sleeping on the couch, as he leaves his bedroom all for you. At first, there were times when you felt sorry and wanted to make things right. But that's hard to do when the person you need to talk to ignores you and gives you a cold shoulder whenever you approach him. It was only today's morning, the same routine without Jungkook's presence, that you've grown tired of it.

Your apartment still isn't fixed and you've no idea how long it's going to take. The repairman texted you, saying he's working on it but you're nowhere near moving back in. Living with Jungkook isn't that much fun, especially after your conversation that caused this but no way you regret it. It was inevitable. You're aware arguments happen, but still, you do feel sad over the fact you've had an argument with Jungkook, out of all people and it's still lasting. Whenever you got into one, in no way it lasted this long. That's what bothers you the most. Luckily, your soar mood had been a little warning for Yoongi not to tease you and surprisingly, he never brought up Jungkook. This way, you had some time to think, even during busy working days without Yoongi's unnecessary and annoying remarks.

The rustling of keys, none other than Jungkook's, is being heard before you hear him clicking his security code, causing your throat to tighten. You've no idea why you're so nervous, maybe it's the fact he came earlier than usual and you hoped you'd make your escape plan without having to see him. Now, you'll have to face him because there's no way he hasn't noticed your duffel bag right next to his shoe rack.

Now or never.

Straightening yourself, you make your way out of his bedroom with your other duffel bag, clutching it in your grasp as you ignore his presence. From the corner of your eyes, you can make out his figure as he tosses his keys onto the small cabinet in the corridor. As you're in the same room, with you mentally cursing it for being so small, you can feel his eyes burning the side of your face. You're the one who's giving him a cold shoulder for a nice change, and it does feel nice. Knowing him, he probably wonders whether he should voice his curiosity or just ignore you and let you go.

Busying yourself with trying to locate your shoes, you finally find them, unfortunately right next to his feet where he's standing. Purposely, letting out a sigh of annoyance, you're about to reach for your shoes so you can get the hell out of here. The air is starting to be too suffocating for you.

"Where the hell are you going?"

Bingo.

His curiosity won, and even though there's an attitude in his cold voice, you take this opportunity to finally look at him, just to give him a nasty glare. He doesn't seem fazed by it, probably waiting for it because he knows you after all. He knows you're not a person who should be messed around with.

"Away." you reply dryly, snatching your shoes before you toss them back onto the floor.

"Is your apartment fixed?" he asks, voice imitating yours which pisses you even more. Fuck, he knows exactly where to push your buttons.

"No." Short and simple, but still you snap at him.

"Then where are you going?" There it is. The sudden change in his voice and although his voice does seem cold and distanced, there's worry somewhere in it which makes you almost smirk.

However, your features remain neutral as you look at him. Shit. One look into his dark brown eyes and you almost feel sorry for treating him this way. Well, he's the first who started. It's childish, you know. But you also don't care.

Why the hell do you care? You want to snap, showing him the true anger that's still bubbling inside of you, hiding from him. Once you'd fully snap, you know there would be another argument on the way and you want to do this calmly as much as possible.

"Probably Jimin's." you reply, biting your lower lip once your words come out a little bit harsher than you intended them to.

The truth is, Jimin has no idea about your current plan which reminds you, you should probably text him and ask him if you could crash on his couch for a few days. Until your apartment is fixed, of course, which you don't know when it will be, but it could be tomorrow. You like to stay positive, at least about this. You should take this opportunity to thank Jimin's parents for creating and raising such a sweet human being. You know you could stay with him either way, but still you should let him know out of politeness. Of course, if you weren't aware of Jimin's personality and willingness to help as much as he can, you wouldn't just ambush him. The next option is Taehyung, but the boy is too curious and blunt for his own good. He would ambush you with tons of questions, noticing straight away something happened. Jimin would too, but at least he would leave you alone if you tell him. Taehyung is stubborn and persistent.

"Why?" Jungkook asks, mumbling the question under his breath but it's clear he knows the answer to that. There's no way he has no clue of your sudden need to leave without notice.

There are a lot of ways you want to act right now. One of them is being sarcastic, angry and just overall to show him how much he pissed you off for acting so childish. Even though you're not so different either. Instead, you settle for a much more diplomatic answer.

"I know when I'm not welcomed somewhere, Jungkook." Adding his name with a cold tone adds just a little spice to this.

"Oh, come on," he scoffs, actually scoffs which makes you fume. "You don't have to leave!" he exclaims, wanting to prove a point which doesn't make sense. Men.

"And look at your huffy face? No thanks," you bite, reaching for your shoes but before you can even put your foot in one of them, they're taken from your grasp. "Hey!" you scold Jungkook, who just glares in response and tosses your shoes behind him.

Just wait, Jeon. You'll throw those balenciaga shoes he owns out of the window.

"You can barely look at my huffy face, when I'm barely here." he scoffs, purposely using your term saying he's petty and childish.

"Exactly my point," you mutter sarcastically, "Now give me back my shoes."

"No," he says simply, cocking his brow at you in a challenge.

You fume, face getting red from all the anger and you wish you wouldn't have the last ounce of control. You'd probably jump at him for provoking you. Not sexually jumping at him, of course. You'd rip his beautiful black and long hair out of anger.

"Let's talk." he proposes, voice confident and strong, but is only met with your loud scoff.

"Now you want to talk? Y'know what? Fuck you. You should've thought about it before acting like a fucking child," Your words are sharp, loud and quick, and deep down you regret for being so mean. Just because he's pissing you off with his actions and attitude, it doesn't mean you've to do the same.

Even though, he never said straightforward 'fuck you' and cursed at you, just like you did right now. He always respected you enough not to do that. Yes, he was ignoring you and acting like a child, but still. He hasn't crossed that line of disrespect and it makes you horrible, because you let your anger overtake you. And it wouldn't hurt so much if it weren't for the hurt flashing through his doe eyes.

"And y'know what else? I never wanted to make you uncomfortable or imply something that's not true, especially if it's about you disrespecting me or using me. I know you'd never do that, but curse me out for being honest and protective about our friendship. I mean, look at us! I never meant to hurt you!" By the end of the sentence, you let your voice raise while he just stands there and lets your emotions overtake you again.

"But you did," he says simply, shrugging his shoulders as if it's not a big deal but you know it is for him. That's why he's ignoring you. He's controlling his feelings of hurt and anger, not wanting to hurt you the same way you did. But you don't get what you've done wrong. You were just honest and he completely misunderstood the purpose of your conversation and why you had brought it up. "You did hurt me."

"So, instead of us talking about it like adults and friends... you've decided to ignore me? Do you realize how awful it feels to be in your home, feeling like a burden and someone you need to avoid in your own home? Don't act so surprised that I don't want to be here!" you exclaim.

Jungkook sighs, fingers brushing through his somehow curly hair before he closes his eyes for a brief moment. It's like he's trying to decide how he should react.

"Not everything is about you, Y/N." he reminds you, voice cold and stiff.

You gape at him, ready to strangle this incredibly handsome guy who has a bitchy attitude, but all you can do is stare at him in utter disbelief.

"You know what's funny?" you ask, not waiting for his response, already opening your mouth again. "You're so butthurt over something that I talked to you about because our friendship matters to me. But you're so willing letting your cheating ex back into your life--"

"Stop right there, Y/N. Or God help me." he warns you, clenching his jaw as you see the anger in his iris burning.

That was low. You admit. You shouldn't have mentioned Kiko when you know what she means to him. You purposely tried to hurt him, he knows that and that's why he stopped you before you could've continued, even though the worst part had already been said. You aimed for the most hurtful thing that happened to him, not so long ago, and you feel like a total bitch because of it.

"Let me get my fucking shoes so I can leave." you say through clenched teeth, walking towards him while you try to push him to get your shoes. It's hard, he's standing right in front of the door with his back turned to it, your shoes laying there between him and the door.

He doesn't budge, surprising you when he grabs you by your forearms, not letting you to crouch down to get your shoes. You stare at him in shock, his eyes darkening as he holds you close. He's not putting that much pressure onto your skin, still holding you somehow soft, but tight enough not to let you twist out of his hold. You hold his gaze, not showing any weakness but it's hard when he stares at you with so much intensity while he's so close to you. You can smell his cologne perfectly, the lightning in the corridor creating a nice shine on his face. Every imperfection is visible from up close, from where you're standing, and you wonder what this man did to deserve such perfect skin.

"Don't leave me." he says firmly, making you snort.

"Stop ordering me around, I can do whatever I want." you scoff, a prominent frown settling on his face.

"I'm not letting you drive in this state late at night." he says it as if it's his call to make.

"What state? You're being ridiculous. And I'm not asking you." you purse your lips, looking away from him but not before you roll your eyes.

"You're upset," Yeah, thanks to who, you want to add but keep your mouth sealed. "I'm not risking something happening to you because of our fight."

You've to admit, his words do warm your currently cold heart but you don't let it show on your face. Showing signs of weakness is not tolerable right now.

"Let me go," you grunt, doing a poor job at pushing against his firm chest that barely budges and if it weren't for the tension in the room, Jungkook would probably laugh at you for being weak.

The truth is; if you wanted, you'd just push harder until he'd let you go because he wouldn't use any physical strength without your consent. Even he knows that, that's why your weak attempt to push him makes the corner of his lips twitch. God, so annoying...

"You won't leave?" he asks, assuring with a neutral tone which makes your eyes flicker to his. He's staring right back at you, patiently waiting for your confirmation and you scoff under your breath. Just like you said; so annoying.

"I probably will." you mutter while rolling your eyes. What is the point of staying? Yes, you're upset but you're not stupid not to dry carefully. You're not that emotionally unstable.

"Then I won't let you go." he says simply, causing you to groan as you wiggle with your body but he's having a great hold of you.

"You can shove your caring up your ass, I'm not wasting my time, mhhph--"

Your eyes widen, almost popping out of sockets, when you realize you're being shut up with Jungkook's lips. He has crushed your lips together in seconds, barely giving you any time to react as the kiss is aggressive and firm, just like the tension between you is. He's still holding your forearms, smirking into the kiss when he feels you relax under his touch. It irritates you and it causes another bubble of anger to pop as you start slapping his chest, but he doesn't let you go. The kiss is good, too good for you to want it to end but you don't let it show. It'll just boost his ego anyway. He bites your lower lip, gently of course, not cracking your thin skin with his teeth as if to show his dominance, before he detaches his mouth from yours.

"I thought you'd never shut up." he rasps out, your brows pinching together, waking up from the daze his kiss caused.

Once you're back to your senses, you glare at him and nudge his chest with more strength. Jungkook's eyes widen for a moment before a cocky grin appears on his pink shiny lips that are coated with your saliva. This is a game for him, he thinks he can kiss you and make you shut up which digs into your pride.

"How dare you?" Exclaiming, you nudge him again. This time, he lets his huge body budge underneath your palms and eyes you with the same smirk that you wish you could wipe off his face. He's enjoying this, no longer holding you as his back meets the hard wood of his front door. "Stop laughing in my face!" you yell, ready to jap at his chest again but with a quick movement, he's holding you by your wrists before that could happen.

"You done?" he chuckles, amusement and cockiness dancing in his eyes.

You don't recognize him. Of course, he's devilishly hot and can use his charms very well, but you've never been in this position. Not at him being so cocky, challenging you with a single stare and attitude. You can't quite pinpoint what it is but it's fucking pissing you off. He's doing this purposely. You're speechless before you can get some words out of your very shocked and open mouth, Jungkook is already opening his one again.

"Don't act like you didn't like it," he chuckles, thumbs caressing your wrists which he still holds in his grasp.

A lump creates in your throat and you wish you could protest, even though you know he's absolutely right and he knows that too. Of course, it irritated you that he just shut you up with a kiss – fucking amazing kiss that was – but you did like it. You missed his lips.

"Oh please," you scoff, "Don't flatter yourself." you still try, lie pushing past your lips which does nothing but amuse him.

Tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he nods along your words, cockily chuckling lowly before he grabs your wrists with one hand, the other one holding the back of your head. You can feel your heart in the throat, anticipating his next move as your stomach burns with excitement despite how distant the two of you're.

You'd yelp if you had the chance to do so, especially when your mouth is clasped with Jungkook's. Dropping his hold around your wrists, his hands are cupping your cheeks as he slowly backs you, Your hands clutch the thin material of his shirt, wrinkling the expensive button up. He's everywhere, tongue exploring your mouth, teeth biting your lower lip and tugging it before he's diving back for a kiss, barely giving you a chance to catch a breath. All of your thoughts are gone, mind empty with only one purpose and that is to kiss him back. Your own hands are over his back, nails grazing his back that's covered with his shirt and that's why you put a special pressure, causing him to groan. The kiss is aggressive, no matter how many times you've had quick sex or were making out, the atmosphere was never this aggressive and there was never this much tension. He's still backing you, your ass bumping into the back of his couch that's in the middle of the room, thanks to the spacious living room he has. When he pulls away, his forehead leaned against yours, you slowly open your eyes to be met with tongue licking his bottom lip.

"Should I still not flatter myself?" he asks confidently, cocking his brow at you as you glare at him.

"You're so fucking annoying." you remark, not having enough time to even add something as he's kissing you all over again.

The kiss is heated, you can feel every fiber in your body heating up from his lips and touch, a shameless moan escaping your lips. Your own body betrays you, the tingling feeling between your legs and in your lower stomach is hard to ignore. You grow greedy, feeling up Jungkook's chest and back while your lips move against his so quickly that you can barely keep up.

"Jungkook," you moan, his mouth on your neck as he bites you gently into the crook of it. Licking the faint mark of his teeth, he sucks your skin there while a gasp of pleasure resounds from you.

Your hand goes between his legs, feeling the hardening bulge and you give it a squeeze, his body shivers for a moment. When you give him an intentional and hard squeeze, his deep growl of irritation is pleasing for you. Jungkook doesn't waste time, growing annoyed at the fact you just grabbed his dick knowing it'll hurt, and he turns around quickly. So quickly that you almost get a whiplash, your body hovering over the couch as he bends you over it. Luckily, your arms catch you before your head can bump into it and if it weren't for the awkward position, you'd cuss him out for being so reckless. Surely, there was no real danger for you but it still caught you off guard and you really don't need to bump your head because of him.

It all happens quickly. First, you feel Jungkook's hands on your sweatpants that you've changed yourself into after you got from work. They pool around your ankles, Jungkook's fingers already tracing the hem of your cotton panties. If you knew this was about to happen, you'd wear a better pair.

"You still on your period?" he asks mindlessly, tucking his finger underneath your underwear as he plays with it.

Your eyes widen, your body straightening in a second as you slightly bump into Jungkook's chest. You're remembered that in fact, you should still be having your period. But last time you checked, there was barely any blood and it's possible that it ended.

"Wait--yeah, I mean it's ending." you answer, just in case because you don't know what will happen once he'll stick it in. Oh god.

"We good then?" he asks to be sure.

"You tell me." you tell him breathlessly, stealing a glance at him behind your shoulder.

"I don't mind," he tells you, voice low and husky as you feel his breath fan against the back of your neck. You shudder, licking your dry lips as you give him a nod.

"Me neither."

That's all it takes for him to bend you over the couch again, causing you to yelp while Jungkook's busy taking off your panties. They pool around your ankles, along with your sweatpants as Jungkook gently kicks your legs apart. Thank god you're bent over, so you don't actually stumble from Jungkook's action. You feel the tip of his fingers brushing against your heat, voice humming at the wetness that coats his fingers. You're embarrassed because now he knows you're aroused, too aroused judging by the slick noises that are heard between your legs and caused by Jungkook's slim fingers. One second he's rubbing his fingers against you, the next you hear the rustle of his belt unbuckling, following the sound of a zipper before you feel his dick poking your ass cheek. Your breath catches in your throat, thighs begging to clasp together so you can get at least some kind of friction. In your current position, it's almost impossible to get some relief.

"What did you say to me? That I should shove my caring up my ass?" he asks deeply as you suck in breath, heart racing against your chest. "What if I shoved something else up your ass?"

"What?" you breathe out, not hiding how shaky your voice is.

"You did tell me you would let me fuck your ass."

You shoot up, back bumping into Jungkook's hard chest as he catches you by your hips. If he's surprised by your sudden reaction, he doesn't react and chuckles into your ear instead. His lips hover over your earlobe before his nose pokes your temple. Jungkook's hot breath fanning your face makes you shiver, adding just the right pinch of temptation into the air.

"You're not going anywhere near my ass with your dick, Jeon." you manage to say, voice harsh and showing that despite your current position, you're not weak and there are still emotions of frustration and anger lingering between you two.

"You told me the opposite." He has the audacity to say, but there's a hint of amusement in his tone.

"I'd promise you anything in the middle of sex." you point out, not forgetting to scoff out loud.

"Good to know," he hums, causing you to frown but before you can remark something smart and sarcastic, his hands grip you harder. "Don't worry, I won't do anything you're not comfortable with."

It's weird. Even though there are so many untold emotions and thoughts between you two, he still manages to assure you that you've nothing to worry about. You've never been in this position with Jungkook, this is new but both of you can't seem to think about it too much. And you're mad, so mad because he's been acting like a child but his hands on your hips, hot breath on your skin and knowing what's about to happen is all you can focus on.

"I wouldn't let you." you still remark sassily, hearing him chuckling before you're pushed over the couch all over again. You yelp in surprise, catching yourself just at the right time while you hear him rustling behind you before his wallet is thrown next to you.

When his length makes contact with your ass, you feel him already wearing a condom before he starts pushing in. He always stretched you out, as far as you can remember, but this time he's splitting you open as you gasp at the sudden pressure of his thick length. He's not extremely quick but not slow either, just enough to surprise you with the pace he had chosen. Filling you up to the brim, you gasp as he starts pulling out before he smacks his length back into you. His thighs slap against your ass as he sets a rustless pace, as soon as he hears moans and gasps leaving your mouth.

He's quiet. There are no words, no pet names that flow out of his mouth freely and you wish he would tell you something. His dick inside of you feels fucking amazing, it really does but there's something blunt about it when there are no words coming out of him. He delivers a few slaps to your ass, something tells you it's because of his own frustration and build up feelings. Although, you can't be sure because his palm had met your ass a lot during sex.

You're gasping, moaning and desperately clutching Jungkook's blanket that has been his only source of warmth for the past couple of days. There's a faint scent of him lingering on the soft fluffy blanket and you realize how much you missed him during those sleepless nights.

Your body is pulled up, by none other than Jungkook's strong arms as you bump into him again, your bodies still connected as he stops his thrusts. You whine, wishing he'd continue as his hard length is pressing against your cervix. Jungkook's fingers tap against your lips as you open your mouth in a silent question, his husky voice carrying itself; "Put them in your mouth."

And you do, you swirl your tongue against his two fingers coating them with your saliva as he hums approvingly into your ear. Shivering, he pulls them out before you feel them circling your puckered hole. Not having the time to show your concern, your tensed muscles speak for themselves as Jungkook reacts.

"Trust me." he says, words simple and short as you give him a brief nod, his hips already working as he starts thrusting into you again.

Throwing your head back, you lean against his shoulder as pleasure shoots straight through your entire body. It feels so fucking good. You can feel him so good, your walls wrapping around his thick length while his palm is sprawled over your lower stomach. You glance down, surprised that there's evident bulge that's caused by Jungkook's length. You can see him moving inside of you, your walls clenching as you shut your eyes in pleasure. It's becoming too unbearable and he barely started.

However, Jungkook proves that he's nowhere near done and he's got much more up his sleeve as his finger slowly enters your puckered hole. Just the tip, enough for you to feel the sudden pressure he puts there. Your reaction is natural and a low moan rasps out of your throat. If it weren't for Jungkook's tight grip over your waist, and the fact you're stuck between him and the couch, you would meet his thrust but there's no space for you to move. Something tells you, you wouldn't be able to move either way. You're completely frozen as you welcome the pleasure Jungkook is delivering to you and your body. Pulling his finger out of your puckered hole, he goes between your bodies where you're connected as he gets some of your arousal onto his fingers, before he's back at your ass and enters you. He's not completely in, just putting enough pressure as he starts pumping the tip of his fingers all while he's pounding you.

"Fuck, Kook." you gasp out, his hand disappearing from your waist and just as you're about to complain, he's wrapping his hand around your throat.

Your eyes roll back, especially when he squeezes your neck softly and grunts into your ear. Oh fuck, you're going to be so sore after this. But you don't regret it and you chase your high, clutching Jungkook's tattooed arm. Your nails dig into his skin, your body barely holding up as your legs tremble.

"So good." you mewl, wishing he'd react in some way, a verbal way so you could hear him saying all those nasty stuff but he's quiet.

Not having enough time to think about it, because he's making you feel so fucking good, your whole body shudders as you approach your intense orgasm. His length, finger still pumping into your other hole, you feel so full that you just couldn't hold it up for much longer. His hand around your neck is just a huge bonus that makes everything more intense. Your legs shake as you're cumming, walls clenching repeatedly around his thick length that still thrusts into you. The orgasm lasts long, longer than you thought it would but you're not complaining. Jungkook delivers a couple of harsh thrusts that make you wince, his hips slapping against your ass for a few times before he's cumming, filling up the condom. He growls, his thrusts sloppy as he rides himself through the orgasm. Your chests move quickly, your bodies exhausted as his hold on you easens up and you no longer feel him pressed against you. His warmth is gone as soon as he pulls out of you, your walls aching and heat already swollen, but you love that feeling.

You've to clutch the back of the couch, holding yourself for balance and support while you're trying to catch a breath. Glancing at Jungkook, you stare at him with your heart painfully twisting in your chest as you watch him taking off the condom as he walks away. He walks away without uttering a single word as he makes his way to the bathroom.

Maybe he went to throw out the condom, he'll be back. But he's not. As soon as you hear the water being turned on and the faint sound of him closing the shower door, you know he's not coming back. Gulping, you pull up your panties and sweatpants, cringing when you feel your cum dripping down your thighs. Ignoring the pain in your chest, you walk into the bathroom where you see Jungkook standing naked in the shower. His face is facing the floor, as water keeps dripping down his body with black hair covering his features. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you complement what you should do. Should you just leave? Is there a point of talking when he walked away just like that? But then, you're remembered by his words and how he said you hurt him. You want to know what that was about.

Taking off your clothes, you ignore the nervosity you suddenly feel as you open the shower door and stand behind him. Completely naked, you don't let your eyes drop to his ass knowing you would be distracted. But there's something about being in here with him, in complete silence. It's intimate and of course, you were showering together before but today's situation is different.

You're surprised how cold the water is, it's almost freezing and you're thankful that Jungkook's body is covering you from the strong flow of the water. Still, some amount of it splashes onto your body and it makes you shiver, but you don't move.

"So, you fuck me and then just ignore me?" you ask, voice loud enough to echo in the bathroom as he doesn't move an inch.

There's no way he didn't hear you. He knows you're standing behind him, he probably knew that you're here as soon as you stepped into the bathroom. He's not surprised by your sudden voice that resounds behind him, his back muscles tense as he lets the freezing water coat his entire body. Just when you think he won't be answering and his next plan is to ignore you, he lifts his head up and slides his hair back to get it off his face.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he asks, still not turning to you.

"No," you answer immediately, scoffing. "No, Jungkook. That's not what I wanted." you point out, voice harsh but somehow broken.

"Do you think I want to be fucked and ignored? And feel used and dirty? Like a slut?"

He turns around, surprising you as you almost stumble, staring at you with furrowed eyes.

"I don't understand you," he admits, "You told me I was too affectionate and now that I'm not, I make you feel used and dirty?"

You can hear the pain in his voice. Jungkook has been acting childish, but that's just your point of view because you've no idea what's going on inside his mind. But you know him long enough to know that your confession probably hurt him more than it did hurt you. Jungkook never wanted you to feel that way, that was the whole point of being affectionate because he didn't want you to feel used. That's what he told you, right? Some of it is starting to make sense.

"Kook," you breathe out, the nickname slipping out of your mouth before you can stop it. "I meant outside of sex. You weren't affectionate just during sex. And I didn't mind it, I don't mind that. It felt nice, it feels nice to have you so close," you speak, admitting your thoughts out loud.

Jungkook and you were affectionate a lot, maybe that's why everyone thought you're secretly dating and wouldn't believe you if you told them that's not true. But never to the point you'd kiss each other out of nowhere or act differently. The affection is different from what it used to be and maybe that's what scares you.

"But if we kept it going... I don't want to think about what could've happened. I care about you, I love you and I want to protect this friendship." you tell him, his doe eyes staring back at you as he nibbles on his bottom lip.

"Yet, you came here while I'm showering naked. Isn't that crossing a line too?" There's no harshness in his voice, he sounds genuinely confused and curious, maybe even skeptical.

You freeze, stuttering over your words as you grow frustrated by the sudden call out. Shit, he's right. You just came into the shower, knowing he's here completely naked and showering. Well, you did have sex just a few minutes ago but still – the deal is about sex, and intimacy and affection is a different topic. The main topic right now.

"I wanted to talk..." you mumble, knowing how stupid that sounds. You could've just waited until he's done but you came here straight away. But that's because you're that comfortable with him. "See? This just shows that I'm comfortable with you. You've never made me uncomfortable. That's not what this is about."

Silence. He just stares at you before he takes a deep breath.

"I felt like an idiot. But I was embarrassed too," he admits, voice suddenly quiet and timid as if he's telling you the darkest secret.

You've questions, you're curious but you let him talk.

"I was so fucking embarrassed because I did those things without even realizing them. I mean... of course, I knew I was about to kiss you or something. But I never dwelled onto it too much. What I mean by that is... that I wanted to feel some kind of love and affection. I was craving it, I wanted to be loved." he admits, his voice cracking as you open your mouth and hold back your tears.

The sight of him standing there so vulnerable does something to you. He's showing you the raw side of him, a complete other side and you finally realize there was so much more behind his reaction.

"Kook..." you murmur, trying to reach for him but you stop, not knowing if that's the right thing to do. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What? That I just want to feel loved?" he scoffs, as if that's embarrassing to admit such a thing.

"There's nothing wrong with that." you tell him, wanting him to know that but he completely ignores that.

"You know what I'm ashamed about? That I didn't think about our friendship more. It should've been me, I should've stopped doing that but I kept going because I was just searching for something that I was craving for."

It all makes sense now. Part of you is still frustrated that he acted this way but everyone battles with their own emotions differently. He had never disrespected you or done something that is unforgiving. You wish you would know sooner what is the main reason behind him being so affectionate. The fact he wants to be loved makes your heart crack. You realize that Kiko really hurt him and even though he loves her and wants her back, he knows she fucked him up. But he loves her too much to let her go and that's even more painful. He's mad at himself, he wants to let her go and be angry but he can't. He told you that before.

"I'm so sorry, Kook." you tell him, eyes watering as he looks up at you as he shakes his head.

"I don't need pity, Y/N."

Y/N. It's like a slap to your face. No baby, nothing. You hate how much that affects you.

"I'm not pitying you," you deny, even though you know that's bullshit. Jungkook knows that too. "I just wish things would turn out differently. I hate when we fight, we've never fought like this ever before."

For a moment, he turns around and turns on warm water as he scoots back to give you enough space to shower as well. You thank him, your heart warming up over the fact he noticed your shivering body and goosebumps even though his eyes never left your face. It's kind of funny, he's trying to be respectful while you're standing in front of him completely naked, as if he wasn't buried inside of you just a moment ago.

"I hate that too," he admits, "I'm sorry too, y'know. I should've communicated with you differently."

"Yes, you should," you tell him, reaching for his shower gel that he hands you as you thank him. "But I understand that there is a lot going on for you. It was just discommunication on both sides, I'm glad we're talking about it."

And for the first time in a few days, Jungkook gives you a faint smile. It's faint, but you notice it right away and it makes you mimic it too.

"Please, don't leave." he blurts out, your mouth falling open as you stare at him. "To Jimin's or anywhere."

Jungkook has always been a person who liked his own privacy, but he cherished his friendships and relationships with people. Considering how he's feeling now, it only makes sense that he doesn't want to be alone.

"Okay, I won't." you tell him as he gives you a short nod.

The air is getting better, despite the steam that's filling up the bathroom from the warm water, but there's still a weird tension in the air.

"I'm sorry." he says again, putting the shower gel back in its place as you hand it to him.

"You already said that," you chuckle, "I'm sorry too."

"You've nothing to be sorry about. All you did was look after our friendship." he tells you, slightly shaking his head as you sigh.

"I was looking after our friendship but I should've looked after you too. I never knew you felt that way, but please know that I enjoyed all those times and days with you. Kissing or not, I liked that. I just got scared because I realized that it's something we've been doing without talking about it or noticing it that much."

He nods along with your words, silently agreeing with you. "Well, there's no way you would know. I didn't talk about it and to some extent, I didn't realize that I'm the one who's looking for some affection. I just felt lost and alone, and you're always there for me. Which doesn't justify my actions because I shouldn't be kissing you or touching you without--"

"Kook, before you start guilting yourself all over again, I liked it. Okay? I liked the fact you respect me enough not to dump me after we had sex. You never made me feel used."

At this point, you feel like you're just repeating yourself but you've to because you know Jungkook. He's going to gulting himself, thinking everything is his fault when it's not.

"I'm sorry about today... after we had sex and for ignoring you all those days," he says, stopping you with raising his finger when he sees you already opening your mouth. "I just didn't know what I should do when we were... done."

You both cringe at that, laughing as he shakes his head. "I don't want to overstep any boundaries. I care about you too much, Y/N. You're always going to be one of the most important women in my life. I'd hate myself if I ruined anything between us."

Your heart swells at his confession, your eyes watering as he stares at you with big doe eyes.

"Shut up, you're gonna make me cry."

"Then cry," he shrugs, "But I need you to know that." he says, chuckling as you slap his chest.

"I know that, Kook."

"Good," he nods, tone firm but light at the same time. "That's all that matters to me right now." he mumbles, sounding as if he's saying that to himself but you hear him and still smile.

You both shower in silence, messing around when Jungkook bumps his hip into you saying you're taking up all the space. You do the same to him, causing the two of you to laugh as you come back and forth, until you're coming out of the shower together wrapped in towels. Jungkook wipes the fogged mirror with his hand while a towel is wrapped around his hips, hanging dangerously low as a prominent v-line disappears underneath the black fabric of his towel.

No, Y/N. Don't.

You both dry yourselves, getting into your pajamas as you clutch Jungkook's hand when he's walking out of the bathroom. He stares at you with curious doe eyes as you bite your lower lip. "Sleep with me tonight?"

"Are you sure?" he asks, a worry flashing in his eyes as you nod.

"I am," you assure him, "I just want us to be like we used to be. I want my best friend."

"I never left." he whispers and you look at him with pouty lips.

"You know what I mean."

"I know, I know," he says, tugging your arm as he pulls you closer. You're pushed onto his chest, finally feeling that warmth and comfort of your best friend as you wrap your arms around his body.

He does the same thing, hugging you as you feel his cheek pressed on the top of your head.

"I'm going to Busan next weekend. Wanna come with me?" he asks suddenly, causing you to freeze as you look up at him, both still embracing each other.

Jungkook stares down at you, patiently waiting for your response as he chuckles at your big eyes. "Why are you going there?"

"To visit my parents." he answers.

Of course, why else would he go there? Chuckling at yourself, you nibble on your bottom lip as you let his question linger in your head. He wants you there? It's been awhile since you've seen his parents and family.

"I'd love to," you answer honestly, "But what about--"

"Tomorrow," he says simply, cutting you off as he cups your face. Just as you wait for his lips to touch yours, he doesn't move an inch and all you do is stare at each other. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" he asks, making sure you agree with him.

There's no reason for you not to agree and you feel like it's enough for today. You're just glad you're no longer fighting.

"Tomorrow." you tell him, letting him lead you to his bedroom as he makes sure every light is turned off.

Jungkook doesn't cuddle you, he keeps a safe distance between you two but you know he's there and you're no longer alone. Just his presence is enough and even though your hands are itching to get closer to him, you stay glued to the left side of his bed. His warmth and nice scent is all that slowly lulls you to sleep, the last thing you hear is Jungkook telling you goodnight but you're too tired to say anything back.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fake dating #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook x you #personasintro

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ratcash-wasgud · 8 months ago

Note

MR. KRABS, I HAVE AN IDEAA! (I'm so sorry, I hope you get this reference...) Modern!Mizu x Shy Reader who absolutely adores sketching in their free time, but specifically loves drawing Mizu?

Mizu is unaware for a long time but finds a sketchbook filled with beautiful sketches of her, with little notes by them that the reader made such as 'I love my girlfriend' , 'Her nose is so pretty' , 'I like how well I captured her jawline, it encompasses just how pretty she is.' Every page is filled with little side-note compliments/notes to self (That the reader didn't expect her to see) and Mizu just fawns and falls in love with the shy reader even more. Maybe Mizu will bring it up and reader gets flustered and eventually they spend their free time doing little drawing contests of each other? I thought it was a cute idea, I hope you are doing well and have a great day! :)

DAAAAAMN

love this idea. i'm probably gonna turn this into loser!mizu propaganda tho muhahaha

btw I'M SO SORRY I'M ABSENT and i'm very behind on requests too and everything. i'll try to post more <3

AN: this didn't turn out exactly how the request asked, BUT PLS I had to add a little smut, sue me.

also, there are some audios at the end

Mizu.

The shine in her eyes.

The way her eyelashes curl.

The curve of her chin.

The way her cheeks move when she talks.

You loved everything about your girlfriend.

But she was just too grumpy sometimes, and when you gave her complimetns, she just got a little red and told you to stop. And you didn't have the confidence in you to try after that. But she was so pretty! You had to get your thoughts out somehow. So what can a girl do? Draw.

You secretly took candid pictures of Mizu, and used them as references. You drew her in every possible pose and with a lot of facial expressions.

You loved drawing her smile especially. Mizu never liked her own smile, she says it's dumb looking and it doesn't fit her, but it can't be further from the truth. Her smile was beautiful.

You could never show her the drawings tho, you'd die of embarassement. One day tho, Mizu was at your place, watching a movie on your bed.

But you were foolish enough to go to the bathroom, and leave her alone with your stuff for five whole minutes. Mizu stopped the movie when you left, because in her opinion, watching your reactions is more interesting than the movie, so watching alone is unnecessary.

But she quickly got bored, so she stood up and started looking around your room again, looking at the little trinkets you have everywhere, and the posters she had seen a hundred times before. Then she found something she hasn't seen before. It was a small, slim sketchbook.

On the cover, there were old receipts from your dates, candy wrappers you ate while watching her matches and a kiss mark in the middle you made with her favorite shade of lipstick.

You usually show her everything you draw, so having a sketchbook she never seen before was unusual. Maybe it's new? Her fingers glide along the back of the sketchbook before she decides to pry and open it.

On the first page, there was a whole page, colored marker drawing of...Mizu. She was a wide smile in the drawing, her hair let down, falling down her back and into her face, her eyes narrowed as he skin creased from how wide her smile was. It was obvious you spent a lot of time on it. But Mizu's eyes quickly dart to the little notes scattered all over the page.

"My girl's smile is too pretty"

"Her nose wrinkles up when she laughs."

"Her eyes shine so much."

"So beautiful. "

And many more. It had her blushing. She covered her mouth as she got more and more flustered the more notes she read. It was like you noticed everything and loved everything. It was so strange. You complimented even the slightest, most basic stuff. Did you count her pores too or something?

But damn...

It made all of her body flutter. She flipped the page, and the drawing just didn't stop, and so didn't the notes. It kind of overwhelmed Mizu. Slowly, the drawings got more and more...clotheless.

At first, it was her collarbones.

"Her skin is so smooth, and the bones cast such a pretty shadow."

Then her back.

"A canvas better than any other."

Then her full chest.

"Pillows of the gods."

Then her...

The clack of the door was heard and you stepped inside, looking mortified.

"Oh you uhm...saw everything?" *You murmur, looking at the sketchbook in your girlfriend's hand.

"Yeah." Mizu answers without hesitation, and puts it down, taking a step towards you. Her heart thumped loud in her chest, as if fire started burning her whole body. She just witnessed the most flattering thing ever but also...it made her want you so much. "You like drawing me?"

"Yes...sorry, I know it's pretty cringe, I...what are you doing?" Your eyes widen as Mizu's fingers grab the hem of her shirt and start lifting it.

"You never drew a full body picture. I'm giving you an opportunity. " She says casually, but her ears burn in a deep shade of red as she tosses it to the side, her sports bra following suit.

"I...but, are you sure? I swear you don't have to, it was just a silly hobby of mine, I..."

"Get your drawing stuff out." Mizu orders, pushing down her sweats, leaving herself only in boxers. You just nod quickly and clumsily gather your things, your face looking rather similar to a tomato.

Mizu throws away her boxers, finally releasing all of her skin and she is sculped like a goddess.

She has a toned body, muscles showing from under her skin, abs almost winking at you and her perky tits being decorated with her hard ripples were just the cherry on top. She has a pretty happy trail leading to her bush, that is guarding her lips.

You swallow thickly as she settles in the chair, looking directly on the bed where you sat down to draw. She spreads her legs, leaning back and her elbows resting on the armrests of the chair.

She looks better than ever.

You can't look into her eyes as you start sketching her body, hands slightly shaking.

"I can't read your notes now, so say them out loud." She breaks the silence, her voice low and breathy. "Tell me what you think."

You bite on the inside of your cheek, glancing up and meeting her gaze.

"Her uhm...her body is...something to die for." You murmur as your hand moves the pencil quickly.

Mizu's eyes never leave you. Her chest starts moving up and down visibly, and she feels her insides twitch everything you glance either at her tits or her pussy.

"Is your view okay?" She asks and before you could answer, she reaches down, spreading her lips, showing you her light peach colored skin that is now slowly dripping out slick.

Your mouth almost falls open, and you quickly start sketching a close up of her entrance on the side of the page, almost not even looking at the paper, but only at Mizu's skin.

"You're enjoying this, huh?" Mizu murmurs, her own lips forming a small smile. "Perv."

"...sorry." You murmur, and look down.

"Want an even better view?" She asks, spreading her legs even more. "Come here then."

You jump at the opportunity and kneel between her legs. You just stare at her pretty pussy as it pumps out her juices. But before you know, Mizu's legs wrap around your head, pulling you right into her. You don't hesitate, and start slurping up her slick right away, your tongue eager to please.

"You taste so good...the best." You murmur into her as groans of pleasure start leaving her lips.

"Yeah? Fuck...keep going...tell me more." She breathes out heavily, sliding deeper into the chair's back. "My pussy is the best, isn't it? You love it..."

"Yes, the best..." You whimper out pathetically, eyes staring up at her as you start slightly making out with her hole, your nose pushing into her bush. "So good, so pretty..."

"Oh fuck...just like that, mhm..." She moans as her hips start moving up and down, rubbing herself against your face...and you love it. You'd rather suffocate right now than stop. You moan into her, pleasing her giving you equally as much pleasure.

"Please...please cum...please give it to me, please please..." You chant between thrust of your tongue.

"Yeah...fuck...want me to come? You want it so bad, huh?" Mizu moans, her hand slowly finding her own breast and starts playing with her nipple. You nod eagerly as you suck on her clit, making her squeeze her thighs so hard around your head, they almost crushed your skull.

After a couple of moment, you felt her soft and warm release drip down your throat, and you happily swallowed all of it. "Fuuuck...yeah, drink it...all, okay? Mhm...yeah you love it..."

Mizu relished in the powertrip as her legs slowly let you go, and watched your head emerge from her pussy, soaked but with dreamy eyes.

"Next time, when you wanna draw me," She whispers, grabbing your chin. "Just ask."

#blue eye samurai #bes mizu #blue eye samurai mizu #mizu x reader #bes x reader #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu fanfic #fanfiction #bes smut #smut

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python333 · 1 year ago

Text

task force 141 getting gaslighted by [reader] — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the title says, tf141 gets gaslighted by [reader]... nothing serious, dw!!

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

warnings gaslighting, but used in extremely stupid and unnecessary ways, 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign], probably ooc but i'm a little more confident in this one than the last one!

note i'm so sorry that this is so long... it's like 3k+ words :{ and the soap and gaz sections are a majority of those words LMAO also tysm to the people who reblogged my last post?? thats so sweet?? im crying?? it was my first post too so i was just hdjsfhjdhsfjf tysm tysm!!

JOHN “BRAVO SIX” PRICE

➥ price is basically your dad atp.

➥ so it’s safe to say he knows about pretty much all of your weird little antics and shenanigans.

➥ this includes your tendency to gaslight people about the stupidest shit possible.

➥ trust him, he was a victim of this.

➥ the first time it happened, it was just too perfect of an opportunity for you to pass up.

➥ price was trying to eat his food in the mess hall, when you had sidled up right next to him at the small table he was eating at, and commented on his food choice.

➥ “Oh, nice. We got the same thing.” you’d said, setting down your tray of chicken, rice, and potatoes right next to price’s bowl of soup.

➥ at first, he thought you were just joking, and gave you an amused look and commented something along the lines of you being blind because you absolutely did not get the same thing as him.

➥ you take your gaslighting very seriously. this is not a joke.

➥ so you insist that you did in fact get the same thing, and you shoot a very confused look at him for good measure. your definitely-serious tone throws price off, because there’s no way you could possibly think you both actually got the same thing…

➥ … right?

➥ cue the rest of your lunch being spent alternating between eating your food and arguing that, “But we did get the same thing!” while price can only counter with, “No we did not!”

➥ now you may think that this is the point where you give up.

➥ it absolutely is not.

➥ see, price’s first mistake was giving you leeway to argue with him over this. his second mistake was suggesting that you ask someone to come over to the table and settle this by telling you both if you did get the same thing for lunch.

➥ naturally, you chose soap, because who else would encourage your bullshit with the same enthusiasm he does?

➥ long story short, he agrees to come over and settle the very weird argument you’ve started with price, and takes a very close look at both you and price’s chosen food items for the day and after you shoot him a glance that tells him everything he needs to know he confidently says, “Aye, these’re the same.”

➥ price has never recovered from the crisis he had after that entire interaction.

➥ so, the next time you do it, he knows exactly what to do.

—

When you sat down next to Price during lunch, he immediately got a sense of deja vu. Which is weird, because you sit next to him everyday, so what could possibly be different about today?

“Oh, nice. We got the same thing,” you’d commented offhandedly, setting down your tray of food, of which was just about the direct opposite of Price’s meal. Oh, so that’s why I feel like this has happened before. Price stared at your tray for a moment, flashbacks running through his mind, recalling his trauma from the last time this happened.

Then finally, cautiously, he agreed, “... Yeah. Whatta coincidence.”

You didn’t know if you should feel disappointed, happy, or shocked by him agreeing with you this time. You were fully prepared to pull Soap and Gaz aside to take a look at both of your trays of food and agree that they were the exact same meal, down to the portion sizes and everything. After a quick moment of thinking, you smile at him with the most innocent smile you can muster and eat your food, ignoring the sigh of relief Price lets out when you don’t begin to argue with him.

—

JOHN “SOAP” MACTAVISH

➥ actively enjoys being gaslighted.

➥ in the sense of like, how many ways can he defend himself in ways you can’t argue with?

➥ he’s like the gaslighting victim version of markiplier with the whole ‘i’m not a masochist, i just wanna see how much pain i can handle’.

➥ so safe to say he very much encourages your gaslighting.

➥ the first time and only time you ever gaslighted him was when you were both hanging out in his room, both of you on your phones, soap watching ‘my babysitter’s a vampire’ after you told him you thought he’d enjoy watching it, and you scrolling through social media to pass the time.

➥ then, you got an idea.

➥ “Soap?” soap perks up at the sound of his name and hums in acknowledgement of you talking to him, “Have you finished that show I recommended to you yet?”

➥ “Nah, I’ve still got a few episodes left.” he’d responded.

➥ “Really? What season are you on?”

➥ “The last season, season two.”

➥ “... What do you mean the last season?”

➥ you two go back and forth, with you insisting that no, you told him to watch ‘the vampire diaries’, not ‘my babysitter’s a vampire’.

➥ the entire thing goes on for at least thirty minutes before soap sighs and insists that you’d told him to watch ‘my babysitter’s a vampire’ one last time, and you finally break.

➥ you break out into a small fit of laughter, and stop yourself to take a deep breath and admit, “Yeah, I did.”

➥ honestly, soap is very impressed by your determination to manipulate him. 10/10 would encourage you to do it again. in fact, will help you gaslight anyone you so please.

—

You and Soap were sitting in his room, him on the bed and you on the floor sitting down on one of his pillows. You’d just been scrolling through any and all apps you had, even going through your photos app, bored out of your mind, when you suddenly got an idea. You turned off your phone and looked over at Soap.

“Soap?” He tapped on his phone screen to pause the show he was watching and hummed, looking over at you. “Have you finished that show I recommended to you yet?”

“Nah, I’ve still got a few episodes left,” he’d answered, sitting up and cracking his knuckles.

“Really?” you’d asked, feigning confusion, “What season are you on?”

“The last one, season two,” he replied, showing you his phone screen. You looked at it for a moment before drawing your eyebrows together in pseudo-confusion.

“... What do you mean the last season?” you’d asked, “There’s eight seasons.”

“Uhh…” Soap looked back at his phone screen, confused, and tapped his screen a few times before he shook his head, “Nay, there’re two seasons, c/n.”

“Are you watching the right show?” you’d asked, watching as Soap nods confidently, and yes. You had set down your phone, ready for this new form of entertainment.

“Yeah. My Babysitter’s a Vampire, right?” he said, hoping for confirmation that he’s watching the correct show. You slowly shake your head negatively.

“No, I told you that you should watch Vampire Diaries,” you’d clarified, watching as Soap started to disagree.

“Nay, ye told me tae watch the Babysitter one,” Soap argued, quickly pulling up his text messages with you, “I reckon I’d ken if ye told me tae watch Vampire Diaries.”

“Well, I did,” you argued back, “I told you, verbatim, ‘hey you should watch Vampire Diaries, I think you’d really like it, since you like making fun of old 2000s shows with me’. I texted you yesterday about it.”

Soap raised an eyebrow before he’d turned his phone to you, showing you your text messages from yesterday, where you definitely did not tell him to watch Vampire Diaries. You took a good look at the text messages, before looking up at Soap, concerned, “Are you okay? That clearly says what I said it says.”

Soap looked baffled, and it took everything in you not to laugh, “Nay, ye messaged me tae watch the Babysitter one, so I’m watchin’ the Babysitter one!”

You two went back and forth, arguing over what the text actually said. You’d constantly deny everything Soap saw and he’d argue back in the most flabbergasted tone that ‘Nay, it’s richt there, I ken I’m no’ goin’ daft!’ and you argued back that he’s definitely seeing things because how could he possibly be reading the text but see completely different words than what it actually says?

Eventually, you both stopped arguing, taking time to catch your breaths. You had taken one look at Soap’s miserable facial expression before breaking out into a small fit of laughter, giggles spilling from your lips as you tried to muffle them by putting your hand over your mouth.

“Ye ‘nd I baith ken that the text says you want me to watch My Babysitter’s a Vampire,” Soap breathed out, watching you try and muffle your laughter.

After you’d taken a moment to catch your breath, you admit, “Yeah, I know.”

Soap’s eyes widened and he immediately said, “So ye admit it?”

You nodded affirmatively and he groaned, flopping back down onto the bed, the action having made you giggle even more. “Ye’re a bampot,” he’d grumbled, though there was no serious anger or irritation behind his words.

—

SIMON “GHOST” RILEY

➥ now why would you even try this, huh?

➥ have you MET the dude?

➥ he absolutely will not fall for it.

➥ he won’t encourage it, won’t argue with you, in fact he’ll shut you down with a simple “No.”

➥ you’re too scared to even try again after the first time you tried it.

➥ the first time you tried to gaslight him, you were both just walking down the hall together.

➥ you tried convincing him that gaz was off on a mission when you had just passed by him.

➥ the look he gave you… my god.

➥ “No he isn’t.” i’m so sorry please let me jump off a cliff i’m sorry i made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment and i don’t expect to be forgiven i’m simply here to apologize mr. simon ghost riley lieutenant sir.

➥ you never try to gaslight him ever again.

—

You thought it was a good idea at the time. You don’t know what drugs you were on or what meds you were off, but you decided that, yeah, I can totally gaslight Ghost with no repercussions, that’s definitely possible. So here you are, walking right beside him, the both of you going to completely different locations but he doesn’t need to know that.

When you first sidled up to him, walking by his side down the hall, he looked over at you for a moment and was just a bit confused but didn’t say anything otherwise. The two of you passed by Gaz, who was minding his business just walking past the two of you. He gave you both a quick nod and you made a point to nod back, not only out of respect but because you thought it would make your gaslighting session just that much better.

Just a minute after passing Gaz, you sighed and commented, “Can’t believe Gaz is on that super long mission right now. Two weeks is crazy.”

Ghost had slowly turned his head towards you, a sight that made your stomach drop because oh God I definitely fucked up, and simply said, “No he isn’t. We just saw him.”

I think I just shit my pants. “Y- yeah, right, right, definitely, no clue what I was thinking,” you blurted out, stumbling over your sentences because oh my GOD I’m gonna piss myself why is he so scary lord have mercy on my soul. Ghost raised an eyebrow at you, before huffing out a small laugh and continuing his walk, amused by your sputtering. You let out a sigh of relief as he simply walked away, and you headed in the correct way of where you're supposed to go, completely chickening out of your original plan.

—

KYLE “GAZ” GARRICK

➥ oh that poor poor boy.

➥ probably gives into it and just lets you gaslight him tbh.

➥ like maybe if your argument/gaslighting isn’t too strong he’ll argue with you, and sure he still won’t win but it was worth a try, but if you’re gaslighting-gaslighting him? he’s just gonna agree with you.

➥ like at that point anything you say is law and he is a law-abiding citizen.

➥ if your argument is strong enough and he’s tired enough he will genuinely believe you, too.

➥#savegazfromreader

➥ the first time you tried to gaslight him, it was pretty easy. you two had just finished sparring, with you coming out on top, much to your own surprise. gaz had given you a lighthearted pat on the shoulder and went off to shower, when you had the best idea you’ve ever had.

➥ you had groaned and playfully complained, “I can’t believe you won that.”

➥ gaz turned around, confused, and was like, “Won what?”

➥ cue the next 5 minutes being spent by you saying that gaz had won and arguing with him that he did win.

➥ “Honestly, you don’t have to lie and say I won. I appreciate that you don’t want me to feel bad, but I can take a loss.”

➥ hes so confused omg.

➥ starts gaslighting himself into thinking he won, then he’s like ‘wait no i didn’t’.

➥ but he still goes along with it because… what else is he supposed to do?

➥ ever since then he’s been your main gaslighting victim, and your favorite.

—

You hated the feeling of being sweaty, but you hated the feeling of someone else’s sweat even more. Maybe that’s what tripped you up that day, letting Gaz swipe his leg underneath yours and force you to fall down onto the mat beneath you, where he then started counting to ten, as per usual with sparring. But luckily for you, you were able to grab his ankle and yank it towards you, making Gaz fall on his ass and letting you straddle his chest and begin to count to ten just as he was doing earlier.

Of course, you dramatized your counting, because who would you be if you didn’t? You emphasized every number and your lips twitched into a small smile as you watched Gaz scoff and look away from you, clearly fed up with your theatrics. Once you were done counting, you got up and held out a hand for Gaz, who took it and got up, letting out a huff and patting you on the shoulder.

“Good job,” He’d said, smiling down at you, stepping off the mat and walking over to the bag of stuff he’d brought with him. After that small interaction, you just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to gaslight him. It’s not your fault! Who else would pass up an opportunity like this?

You groaned and stepped off the mat, muttering, “I can’t believe you won that. I really though I had you.”

“Won what?” Gaz questioned, looking back at you, confused.

“The spar?” You answered, though you made your answer sound more questioning, as if confused on why he’d even question your words. As if it was obvious that you hadn’t won. Gaz simply looked at you, very confused, trying to figure out if you’re joking or not. By the serious look on your face—a poker face you’ve worked on for the longest time—he figured that you weren’t not kidding, which worries him a bit.

”... No, you won that spar,” Gaz insisted, before nervously joking, “Remember? Thirty seconds ago, when you kicked my arse after I thought I had you down?”

“Honestly, you don’t have to lie and say I won,” You laughed, walking over to Gaz and patting him on the back, “It’s not like I’m a sore loser or anything like that. I can take a loss.”

He was so confused, and continued to insist that you had won the small sparring match, and got more and more confused the more you fought with him on this. He was so sure that you had won—you did, didn’t you?

He eventually just sighed, and ‘admitted’ that you were right, he did win. Satisfied, you smiled up at him and reminded him that you can take a loss, and you went on with your day. And if you heard him asking Price if he could go through the security cameras for a moment, requesting to go back to that specific time the two of you had sparred, no you didn’t.

#cod #cod hcs #hcs #taskforce 141 #task force 141 #tf141 #tf141 x reader #platonic #platonic taskforce141 #task force 141 x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #again...... fucking hate tagging #listen i love tagging on ao3 but #tumblr is a diff story #tags are my diary fr

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lucysarah-c · 5 months ago

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hiya :DD would you mind if I ask you a question? how would Levi feel/react if his girlfriend had to stay in the hospital for a week? like, she isn't going to die, but she does have to stay overnight. thank you if you answer this, and I hope you have a nice day! (sorry if this is oddly specific btw)

Hiiii! What are you up to?

Oh, I don't mind the question!

I've written a couple of posts in the past suggesting that Levi has a "trauma"—at least in my view—around the people he loves falling ill. He saw his mother die and lay there, which I feel gave him a huge fear of witnessing that again. So, I think he is one of those people who get extremely worried about their partner falling ill.

He'll try to hide it, but he may become overly protective. He'd probably try to stay with her all the time at the hospital. She could try to explain to him a thousand times that he doesn't need to sleep there, that it's uncomfortable, and unnecessary. But Levi would be like, "I sleep in a chair all the time, no big issue."

He'd probably be a bit of a pain to the medical staff. "Is that alright? The room is cold, the room is hot, she's tired, she needs another pillow, she doesn't like that food." He's simply terrified of something going wrong, asking a million questions. "Is that medication going to work? How long will it take to take effect? The side effects? What if she gets side effects?"

"I'm doing alright, Levi."

"I don't believe you."

He would 100% only leave her side to go back to their place and clean it pristinely, making sure there's nothing there that could get her sick again when she returns. He'd remind her of the hospital stay easily for a year. "Take your coat, it's cold outside."

"I'm fine."

"You just left the hospital."

"Levi… that was five months ago."

"Exactly my point."

Hope you've a lovely day too!

Stay safe! Thanks for passing by!

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akutasoda · 5 months ago

Text

title - 'holding out both my hands / over fire, over flames / just to keep you safe'

╰➜they've been very busy lately but you hesitantly ask them to do a task, underestimating just how much they would actually do for you

dedicated to - fyodor dostoevsky

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, maybe ooc??, some angst maybe?, sonnet length - 771

a/n: request by an anon!! also what a wild new chapter-

you never really knew what fyodor did. you could catch him staring at an unnecessary amount of screens quite regularly, sometimes you even sat beside him, but even then you couldn't actually piece together what exactly he was doing. sometimes he even disappeared for a while and would come back with little to no explanation - even if you asked questions, he'd brush you off and ask about your day to clearly change the subject.

eventually, you had accepted the fact that you might not ever know what your lover did for a living. it didn't exactly bother you or weigh heavy on your conscience, you could still happily go about your day without that knowledge but sometimes that curiosity really ate away. occasionally you'd try guessing as a joke because you knew that even if you guessed correctly, he'd tell you the opposite.

but the one thing you did know for sure was that recently fyodor had been extremely irritable, stressed even. he always seemed to have a sour expression on his face - one that probably looked no different to his usual expression but you knew otherwise. some days he even looked rather amused which made you quite confused, and in honesty, a tad bit scared as you could take a guess that a more sinister intention was behind his amusement.

fyodor no longer encouraged you to keep him company, he made himself even more scarce and when you did see him, it was for short periods of time and he always seemed rather distant. begrudgingly, you were content to let him do what he was doing as even if you tried, you knew you wouldn't be able to get through to him.

although his change in mood seemed to last longer than you both anticipated. eventually, something had abruptly come up for you. with everything you had going on in your life as well, it really threw you and you struggled to find a way to actually get round to it anytime soon. the only possible thing you could think of is asking someone else to run an errand for you so you had more time.

but currently the only person who you could see agreeing was fyodor. the same fyodor who currently was very distant and almost unapproachable. he had helped you out before but that was when he was as normal as he could be, so you really hesitated to ask him now. however, after a long while of contemplating your options, you tried to clear any hesitancy left in your mind and reluctantly made your way to your lover.

“fyodor?” you nervously called out, he was yet again focused on those ungodly amount of screens but he seemed to turn his attention to you almost immediately after hearing your voice

“is something the matter?” his response showed no indication of his mood being improved lately and know you were really hesitating to ask him

“i… could you…” he could tell immediately from the fact that you had started fidgeting and kept changing your words that you wanted to ask him something. what it was, he really didn't know but it wouldn't take an idiot to figure that you were so unsure about asking.

he waited patiently for you to try and form words but when it became clear that you weren't getting anywhere anytime soon, he questioned “if there's something you need me to do, i can do it”

this caught you slightly off guard but it gave you the slightest bit of ease to manage to tell him that you needed a slight bit of help and needed him to run a quick errand for you. he looked at you before standing up and making his way over.

fyodor took your hands into his as he smiled at you with the most amount of tenderness you had ever seen from him.

“such a small task wouldn't even pale in comparison to what i truly would do for you, consider it done already”

you still looked rather unsure about it and so he continued because he could take a guess for the reason behind your uncertainty.

“no matter what state i may be in, physically or mentally, if you asked me to do anything i would do it. there is nothing you can ask of me at any time that i wouldn't do for you”.

#↳♬ of melodies and sonnets event ♬#x reader #x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bsd x you #bsd fyodor #fyodor x you #fyodor x reader

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farmhandler · 2 months ago

Note

Ahhhh pls do Logan & cable attempting to bond, maybe over Wade??

There was supposed to be more bonding sjhskjhsa it's truly "there was an attempt" here

---

"You smoke?" Logan asked. He didn't know why he did, only that Wade's constant chatter about his latest job with Cable had involved several long monologues about the two of them "getting along".

He and Cable got along just fine.

"No," Cable said. He took the cigar Logan was holding and examined the label. "Expensive habit. Where I'm from, we don't make it a habit."

His tone said, you're all fucking idiots in this timeline.

They didn't not get along.

"Beats drinking myself to sleep," Logan said. "Can't exactly get cancer. But fine, just thought I'd offer. Where's Wade?"

"He told me he was going to find you."

Logan thought about how Wade had told him that exact same thing and shook his head. They were outside the X-Force base of operations, after hours, so he lit up.

"He'll find us when he gets bored of being an asspain," Logan said around his cigar. He pulled out his phone and tapped on it.

where the fuck are you, he texted Wade.

“What have I done to deserve your ire?” Cable said, which was exactly the kind of thing that earned said ire. Fucking prick.

Cable looked at him like he'd heard it. Logan forgot he was one of the telepaths around here that had zero qualms about abusing his powers to get what he wanted.

"You murdered Wade lately?" Logan said evenly. He pulled his cigar away and met Cable's eyes.

“Is that it? I see no point in stating the obvious, but since it seems you forgot, I will. We've both killed Wade. Multiple times.”

"You're awfully fucking comfortable making use of his inability to die." He took another puff and shifted to face Cable. "I read the mission reports shared by the X-Men."

"We make tactical, strategy-based decisions." Cable paused; probably reading Logan's fucking mind again. "No one under my command is thrown into unnecessary danger." He breathed out through his nose. "I don't need to explain myself to you. This is pointless."

"Wade can take it," Logan said. "Doesn't mean he should."

"What can I take?" Wade asked, popping up from seemingly nowhere. His mask was rolled up, and when he walked over, he laid an exaggerated, smeary kiss across Logan's cheek.

Then, probably because he wanted to piss Logan off, he tried to do the same to Cable. Logan was sure Cable would do their usual routine where he shoved him away, but he just sat there while Wade kissed his cheek.

Logan took a very, very long puff of his cigar while it happened.

"Well now it feels like cheating," Wade said, frowning. "You were supposed to stop me."

"I don't see why I should, considering that evidently I don't make any attempts to stop you from doing what you want, whenever you want."

"Of fucking course," Logan muttered.

"This no longer feels like it's about me," Wade said. "Are you two talking about the mission from the other day? I told Cable I could handle it, and I did. Everyone in the building fucking died!"

"Including you," Cable said. He sounded pissed. "I gave you very clear instructions. Orders."

"Which you knew I wouldn't follow," Wade said blithely. "We have an understanding. You try to do things by your annoying little book and I ignore you. It works every time."

Meeting Cable's eyes, Logan felt maybe a little chastened hearing that. Domino walked out calling Wade's name, and Wade skipped towards her.

"Be right back!" he called. "Don't fight over me until I am!"

"I don’t need to read your thoughts to hear how often you assume the worst of me,” Cable said to Logan.

"You're...yeah, you're fucking right," Logan admitted. "Sorry."

Cable looked at him for a while and then sighed.

"I don't make much of an effort either." He crossed his arms and pulled from his pack, of all things, lip balm. "I don't go out of my way to get Wade hurt. But in many ways, his skills are unmatched."

"I know. And I know you care about him. Same way I care about him," Logan said. He thought back to Wade's kiss on his cheek. He chuckled. "Maybe not the same way."

Cable's lips lifted into the closest thing to a smile Logan had possibly ever seen on him.

#poolverine #my fic #my ficlet #bonding did occur...kind of #cablepool gets a kiss...as a treat

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silentscrying · 3 months ago

Text

🏀 buzzer beater | chapter TWO.

nba!gojo x manager!reader

summary: you thought you'd gotten rid of arrogant NBA star satoru gojo when he left the curses after your first year in basketball management. but when your contract is up three years later, you find yourself working with him once again as the manager for the sorcerers. as you navigate playoff season alongside long-time friend ieiri shoko and the sorcerers' insufferable star player, you start to realize his sudden departure from the curses may not have been what it seemed, and maybe gojo isn't exactly the person (or player) you thought he was, either.

warnings: language, gojo being gojo, cringe contact names. || sfw. 2.6k words. all teams made up (only using cities without real NBA teams). also, i know #6 is a retired jersey number, but it's gojo. so #6 is his.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

You’re always right, and Fushiguro looks your way knowingly when the Sorcerers land third seed in the playoffs two and a half weeks after the Fangs game. A few murmurs spread throughout the team as Kusakabe pulls the bracket up on the screen in the team’s common room, Yaga pacing in front of it with his hands clasped together.

It’s not the third seed that’s the topic of discussion, though.

It’s the first. In both conferences.

“I know,” Yaga starts, “you’re all off your rockers about San Diego. Here’s what I’m gonna tell you: don’t fuckin’ think about San Diego.”

A tall order, not to think about the Curses.

Gojo, sprawled on the couch with Fushiguro on one side and Yuji on the other, groans. He’s wearing a pair of dark, rounded sunglasses indoors, because he’s an idiot who wears sunglasses indoors.

Yaga snaps his fingers and Gojo shuts up. You so, so desperately wish you had that superpower.

“We don’t get to the finals and the Curses don’t even matter, you understand me?” Yaga barks. "You don't think about them 'til you win twelve games minimum. And that's if you're dreaming. We aren't sweeping all the way to championships." Yuta nods solemnly. Ino cracks his knuckles like he’s ready to fight his way up the bracket. Fushiguro doesn’t even blink.

"And are we thinking about the Samurai?" Hakari asks, and Yaga glares at him.

"Again. We don't make it to conference finals, that doesn't matter."

"Yes, sir," Hakari mutters quietly.

Yaga starts laying out the game plan for the first round match against Manhattan, set to be played at home April 15. It’s a Saturday. You think, idly, that maybe you should have chosen a job where you actually have weekends off.

The Sorcerers will probably sweep. Manhattan's sixth seed. Sat against the wall with your laptop propped on a chair and your clipboard in hand, you start jotting down names, emails, people to call to set up press for the team and the coaches, Manhattan's manager to make sure their accommodations are set up. Oh, and you need to set up travel and lodging for the Sorcerers, too, when they play in Manhattan for games three and four. You think they’ll win four straight, but you should have a contingency plan anyway just in case the series goes to game five, or even further. You already know Zenin and Panda are set to commentate again, at least on your home network, which is good—they’ve always been fair, and fair commentary doesn’t create unnecessary issues with the press. You’ll have to look into the usual Manhattan commentators.

You’re so focused on your work that you don’t even notice that the meeting has adjourned until someone plucks your pen from your hand. You protest and look up to see Gojo grinning at you, twirling the pen in his ridiculously large hand and smiling like he’s done you a favor.

“Don’t work so hard,” he says playfully. “You’ll drive yourself into the ground, and then who’ll I steal my pens from?”

“What do you even need pens for?” You scoff and snatch it out of his hand, shoving it into your pocket before he gets any ideas. “If I don’t work so hard, you don’t get press interviews or sponsors or lucrative Nike merchandise lines. Careful what you wish for.”

“So serious,” Gojo chides, leaning against the wall and effectively blocking your view of the rest of the team leaving the room.

“Gojo—”

“Ah! She knows my name!” he crows victoriously, and you groan, raking a hand through your hair. This man is going to be the death of you.

“You’re gonna be late to training,” you say flatly. You know, because you scheduled the gym space. Because you schedule everything. Because you essentially run all of the details of Gojo’s life, and he and the team would be lost without you, and they know this. But Satoru Gojo has no discipline or regard for anyone else’s effort, so here he is, lingering. “Did you need something, or are you just wasting both of our time?”

Gojo presses his lips together in a thin line, tilting his head down at you. You find yourself shifting under his gaze, uncomfortably attentive, his eyes always catching you off guard. Even standing, he’s got more than a foot on you, and though you’re used to being towered over, sometimes you wish you could be the one to look down on Gojo, put him in his place.

“I just—I was gonna tell you you were right.” He clears his throat. “About the seed, I mean. Sorry to doubt you, Miss Manager.”

And strangely, despite his ever-present smirk, he sounds almost… chastened. Apologetic isn’t the right word, but the corners of his lips are turned down just slightly, his tone of voice a little more subdued than usual.

“But you already know that,” he says. “So. I’ll stop, uh, wasting your time.” He tips a nonexistent hat at you, winking over his sunglasses before taking his leave.

It’s the weirdest phenomenon—not Gojo turning his back to you and walking away, but you feeling almost sorry as he does it. Part of you wants to call after him, tell him you didn’t mean to be so harsh, but that’s not necessarily true. You did want to be harsh. You just… might have taken it too far, this time.

But it’s his fault for being careless. Late to practice, careless about the work that keeps his career on track. A buzzing pulls you from your reverie and you spin toward the noise, confused until you locate the phone going off on the couch cushions where Gojo sat only minutes before.

In theory, the phone could be Fushiguro’s or Itadori’s, but the case is bright blue. You’ve never known Megumi Fushiguro to have color anywhere on his person unless absolutely necessary, and you know for a fact that Yuji’s phone case has a cat on it.

When you get closer, you see the outline of the Nike swoosh with the Limitless print laid over it. Of course Gojo would wear his own merch. Jesus.

“Irresponsible,” you mutter as you walk over to it, plopping down on the couch and sighing as the notifications swarm Gojo’s lock screen.

gumi: you coming?? gumi: if you need a minute i can cover for you gumi: you seemed off. one of those days?

The first thing that strikes you is the name. Gumi? The team uses first names often enough, but this isn’t a nickname you’ve ever heard for Megumi. Not in public, at least.

captain kento (derogatory): Fushiguro said you had to take care of something. I’ll fill you in on the drills we ran later. Take care.

You frown.

You seemed off. Did he? Gojo seemed just as obnoxious as ever to you. And it’s not as though this is your doing—even if he’d seemed downtrodden after your conversation, the rest of the team had already gone.

The screen lights up with a new message.

gumi: call me when you can

You slam the phone face-down on the cushion beside you, suddenly feeling like you’ve been intruding. It wasn’t your fault, you reason. He’s the one who left it here.

As another incessant buzzing starts up, you jump, and it takes you a moment to realize it’s your own phone this time with an incoming call. You don’t recognize the number, but you know 212 is a Manhattan area code. It’s the Phantoms manager, responding to your earlier email.

You answer and press the phone to your ear, grabbing Gojo’s as you stand and cross the room to the mess of jackets the team left along the wall. You find the one with the blue 6 embroidered on the sleeve and tuck Gojo’s cell into the pocket, then retreat to your office as the Phantoms manager exchanges pleasantries.

Whatever those texts were about isn’t your business, or your problem. You have work to do.

—

You don't see much of Gojo in the week leading up to the playoff game.

You’ve been so wrapped up in work, in hectic travel and games and organizing everything with Manhattan and the press and the coaches and the sponsors, in planning all of Gojo’s appearances, that you haven’t really realized he hasn’t made many appearances of his own lately.

You’ve seen him around, sure, but he hasn’t cornered you or stolen your pen or teased you the way he’s so prone to. It’s almost unsettling, this sudden absence of his antics.

Almost.

Unfortunately, you have to seek him out now, because Nike wants to renew their contract, and you need Gojo’s signature.

“If you want my autograph so bad, you can just ask, y’know,” he says with a shit-eating grin when you finally find him, talking to Fushiguro near the gym doors.

Gumi, your mind supplies unhelpfully. He raises a brow when your gaze lingers on him a second too long, and you quickly turn back to Gojo and shove the clipboard into his hands. God, he does have really big hands. No wonder he can palm a basketball and make it from past the three-point line.

“I want your cooperation,” you correct, raising a brow. “Unless you don’t want the Limitless line anymore?”

Gojo scribbles his name on the paper with a new urgency. You smirk.

“So, how’re you feeling?” you ask, and though you’re looking at Fushiguro, you know Gojo will answer too, because he’s Gojo.

“Just wonderful, now that the great Alley-oop has graced us with her presence,” Gojo says, handing the clipboard back, and you roll your eyes at the nickname. Someone clears their throat at the doors to the gym and Gojo turns to see Kento.

“Gojo,” Kento says. “A word? I want to go over the new screen one more time.”

Gojo grins at you. “Don’t wait up.” And then he’s off with Kento, and you’re left with Fushiguro, who’s looking at you strangely.

“You didn’t answer the question,” you point out.

And he still doesn’t. Instead, he sighs, leaning back against the wall, like he’s considering something.

“He’s not a bad guy, y’know,” he finally says, leveling you with that even stare only Megumi can pull off. You click the pen closed (because Gojo didn’t, because he never does) and slip it into your pocket.

“I didn’t say—”

“I know,” he cuts you off. “And I also know you don’t like him. And I get it. But listen. Gojo is cocky and annoying and loud. But he’s also a good guy, when it comes down to it. You know why he left the Curses, don’t you?”

You blink. “Uh. Yeah?” You were there, after all.

After the first few years of your career in management, you’d honestly considered leaving. Maybe you should have tried harder in college, followed some of your D1 teammates to the WNBA.

The Curses were intolerable—stuck up, presumptuous. Your first year actually hadn’t been so bad, but after Gojo left, it was like Suguru Geto became a whole different person. He was brash and rude and commanding, and the whole team suffered for it, and you honestly thanked god when your contract was up. You were about take a huge pay cut for a WNBA job in the Midwest, just to get away, when Yaga reached out.

The Sorcerers aren’t like that. They’re nice to you, appreciative; they include you like you’re an actual, valued team member. You get to work with Ieiri, you’re compensated well, and you have more autonomy under Yaga and the team owners than you ever did with San Diego.

You figure Gojo just takes the environment for granted. Or at least, you did, but Megumi’s looking at you like he’s trying to figure out what you know, and you suddenly aren’t sure you know anything at all.

“He got into that fight with Geto,” you say slowly. “And then he said if the Curses didn’t trade him he’d break contract and just—quit.” You called it a hissy fit when you explained it to your friends. They’d fought like teenage boys, right there on the practice court, shoving and shouting.

“You know that’s when I was getting drafted?” Megumi asks. You frown. You didn’t really put the timeline together, but it makes sense. “Suguru Geto essentially blacklisted me from the Curses. Said he’d make my life a living hell if they recruited me.”

“What?” You’re floored, scrambling for words you can’t find. “Why? Why the hell would he do that?”

Megumi shrugs. “Didn’t want to share his best friend, I guess. Felt threatened? I don’t know. But Gojo wouldn’t stand for it. He, uh. Knew me before, and so did Geto. He’s known me for a long time, actually.” He scratches the back of his neck self-consciously. “Apparently, they got into some huge fight over it. Over—me, I guess. And Gojo said if Geto was so hellbent on not drafting me, he’d go somewhere that would.”

You’re stunned straight into silence. You thought their fight was about superficial shit, or fighting for their shared position as centers. Not about a person. Not about Megumi Fushiguro.

“Fushiguro!” someone shouts, and he pushes off the wall and gives you another one of those looks. You can’t entirely decipher what it means, but there are suddenly so many thoughts fighting for dominance in your mind you don’t know what to do with them.

Fuck.

You shake your head like you can dispel all the cognitive dissonance with the motion, and then you sigh and turn down the hall with the intention of finding Ieiri.

But the woman who rounds the corner and nearly smacks right into you isn’t Ieiri. It’s the new marketing and media coordinator, and suddenly you’re cursing yourself out because you can’t remember her name. She grins at you.

“Oh, hey!” She sticks out a hand and you take it. She’s younger, probably around Yuji’s age, and a recent hire. “Kugisaki. Uh, Nobara, if you want.”

“Nobara.” You smile, glad that she reintroduced herself, and give her your name again in turn. “You’ve met all the guys? Liking the job so far?”

“Yeah! They’re great. And I think we’re gonna have a lot of good video ops during playoffs.” She glances at her watch. “I’ll probably try to catch some of them on the sidelines after.”

You snort, thinking of Gojo and his affinity for being on camera. “That won’t be a problem,” you assure her. “You seen Ieiri anywhere?”

“Shoko?” Nobara tilts her head. “Yeah, she’s in the training room.”

You wish Nobara good luck with her sideline interviews and head back to Ieiri’s home base, where you find her leaving the room with her med bag. “Why do you look like someone kicked a cat?”

“I do not,” you grumble, but she’s always been able to see right through you. She walks in step with you toward the gym, side-eyeing you until you give in. “It’s just—you’ve known Gojo for a while, right?”

Ieiri hums in confirmation and you find yourself tapping your fingers against the clipboard. “I just—do you think I’m too hard on him?”

“On Gojo?” she snorts. “Nobody’s hard enough on Gojo.” But when you don’t respond, she registers your levity and sighs. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s obnoxious. He’s a little shit. But he’s a good guy.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, bitter. “That’s what everyone seems to be saying.” An assistant passing you and Ieiri presses headsets into your hands, and you thank him absentmindedly and loop them around your neck.

Ieiri doesn’t press the matter, and you have no more time to. The team runs past you into the gym, a few of them patting you on the back or high-fiving you as they go. Gojo hollers something at Kento as he runs through the doors with his arms spread wide, greeting the raucous cheers of a packed gym once again.

“I need a smoke,” Ieiri mutters, and yeah, that sounds real damn nice.

“Well, we get what we get,” you sigh, and pull on the headset.

Zenin is already spewing both teams’ season records at full speed, Panda chiming in with more player-specific notes.

“And here come our visitors, the Manhattan Phantoms in full force!” she announces. “Buckle up, folks. It’s time for playoffs!”

directory. || prev. || next.

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#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #megumi fushiguro #ino takuma #yuji itadori #yuta okkotsu #nanami kento #shoko ieiri #maki zenin #nobara kugisaki #geto suguru

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