#.*ﾟdingdong💌—♡

[vampirevatican]

Um um seriously sorry it's been a few days since I asked you for that other post, but i dunno i just love your writing and I'm in my period of being obsessed with Judd Birch (even though he doesn't seem to have eyebrows most of the time) so kinda- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sooo um can you write like, any thoughts or ideas of what a relationship with Judd would be like, like, any intrusion of thoughts about this pls write 😭🙏 (and pls do smut because I forgot last time, and, God, if i'm asking so much i STOP)

Ily(🫶🏻v w v )

oh gosh ur so sweet. ur not asking too much, i promise. (ofc w/ smut req. MDNI)

having done this before, i.e. first judd post, let's do a lighting round and focus on him (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

a lot of people think he doesn't care or he's just some cruel psycho but nope

he's actually a really caring guy, just the way he shows it is very subtle

sure he'll do a grand gesture on valentine's day, maybe your birthday and christmas

every other day of the year, it's the little things.

hugging onto you tight when sleeping together

caring about how your day has been

listening to you intently when you need to vent

he kinda takes after his dad, but it's like a balance

oh yeah! remember he just wants to watch the world burn and is an agent of chaos

cat boyfriend? cat boyfriend.

if you weren't down in the dumps i feel like he'd mess with your stuff that isn't seriously important just to play with you

would never get you in trouble but with what he does sometimes? it makes you wanna fight him but only bc you care so much

and smut things?? (MDNI)

loves seeing you ride but loves hitting it from the back

sometimes these things combine and you go from reverse cowgirl to your back on his chest and his hand or arm wrapped around your throat

god, listen he's kinky... like you can't tell me this man is vanilla

would eat you out on your period, and fuck you til you can't think or even feel the cramps

pretty rough sometimes but takes aftercare very seriously

don't goad him into sex when he's mad, unless you want to be feeling it the next morning

[vampirevatican]

Hi krissy!! Headcanons for Judd falling in love/lovesick?? Like, reader fell first, he fell harder... how does he realize he's in love?? Tyyyy 💕💕

hi hi!! okay gosh this is such a cute request, since reader fell first we're gonna focus on juddy

he'd know reader is into him, first of all

why would his shirts be missing, why would you be subtly flirting with him, or showing up to hang out with his family

besides his parents inviting you to everything bc ur great at keeping nick under control and leah takes your advice

i don't think he recognizes that he's falling until he's already there

his family could hint at it, friends could outright tell him but he'd deny it

over time though instead of a usual 'no' or disapproving grunt there'd be a slight smirk from him

now if we're talking show elements? he'd be sick and tired of his love bug

it'd start small and he'd squish it or shoo it away until it was too big to ignore

his hormone monster? quoted by a fic, "judd has a heart boner, judd has a heart boner." in sing song fashion

it's a late night in his room, staring up at his ceiling that he realizes...

Judd sits up in his bed, a cold sweat running down his brow and the back of his neck. "Fuck." He's irritated with himself, not because he forgot something or that something woke him from his sleep. What's more irritating is that those damn HR monsters wouldn't shut the hell up. He was in love and it was enough to piss him off. It wasn't like being in love was a bad thing, but it was the fact he held off on it for so long. How long did he actually love you. When did he start falling for you and why was it now that he realized he wanted you so bad.

[vampirevatican]

MAMA!! JUDD WITH A WITCHY GIRLFRIEND! AHHHHHHH!

might as well call me mama krissy atp, lol... although id prefer being auntie/titi (@ anyone else planning to refer to me as mom) antyway,

so many ideas for this one...

he'd let her try out rituals on him

well he calls them rituals though she has explained the differences many times

loves hanging out in you room, respects her space

buys her crystals, see if his supplier has any "mystic shit" you could use

he finds a rose quartz crystal either in his car or in his room and considers asking leah about it but instead googles it

judd: if you want me, all you had to do was say so

witch gf: hehe eheh (>/⁠/v/⁠/>)

gets into some witch stuff himself but it's mainly demonology and whatever madjicks can be found in alcohol

if he gets you anything? just know there's a sigil on it

his room has an onyx crystal wand in it, and he can't explain why but he's been very chill and feeling more secure than usual

allows her to do tarot readings or readings with a pendulum for him or the raccoons

ong if nick and his little friends get on her nerves ever, or better put he wants her all to himself he's shutting shit down

nick: can't you redo that love reading? i swear im ready

andrew: you heard the goddess nick, you have a lot to work on

jessie: yeah, now could you redo mine. im not that lost am i?

cue judd picking her up and hiding her in his room, cleaning up the cards and telling the little 'babies' that they've weakened you

jk though, you were having a great time he just wanted alone time with you

[vampirevatican]

Hey.. what if judd was with someone who just zones out a lot.. or who just stops responding sometimes in the middle of a statement? Maybe she always has a dead look when she does, so he thinks something is wrong but nothing really is

Hear me out.

on the first time he's concerned

he probably snaps his fingers or waves his hand infront of her face

though overtime it's smthn he notices and gives her time

possibly throws one of his extra sweaty, rank, shirts at her to help her mind reboot a bit quicker

he loves his little astronaut all the same though.

his family sees it once at dinner and ask him what happened and he's like. "give her a minute."

if she goes back to doing smthn else, and family tries to get her to complete her thought he stops them

this goes for any of his friends too

depending on if her eyes stay open the entire time, he'd try to do a staring contest with those vacant eyes

always keeps track of the last thing she said in case she forgor

[vampirevatican]

Would Judd's raccoons see their mom in his girlfriend? I think she would spoil them.

abso...lutely!

they either see her as a mom or a goddess, partially bc of judd and mainly bc of how long she's been around with him.

definitely second to command, but i feel like this is also dependent on the type of girlfriend.

soft girlfriend? they listen bc she's nice. gf like judd?? they listen bc they fear her. kinda like she's a second judd, and they just have to do what she says.

in this case, im p sure they both plan romantic evenings for each other via the raccoons

a soft gf would rename some of the raccoons or give them names. second judd gf would add to the amount of raccoons they share.

but most definitely, those raccoons are her babies now.

[vampirevatican]

Heyyyy... I was wondering if you could do something with a yandere judd... maybe like he sends his raccoons to watch and spy on his girlfriend when he can't

oh absolutely... though i don't think judd needs the yandere label bc he's already got the lighter cases but also i don't think he'd go to... extremes, like he knows better.

judd spying on you with his batallion of racoons is a definite though.

he does it as a way to look out for you

you might find a couple at your house but they're very well mannered

or maybe they're trained to be polite to you?

if ever you enter the birch house there's already a couple of their eyes on you

whenever his little brother, or his friends, pulls you away for advice

when leah simply wants to hang or asks you for help with one of her theater things

they're watching, and so is judd

he'd swear it's not an obsessive or territorial thing but it definitely is

he couldn't give a shit what his siblings have going on

what's more important is if you get uncomfortable with those werid ass middle schoolers and finding a way to get you back to him

he's quite possessive but he'd only admit that to you, and probably try to put a spin on it so that it sounds better.

"You know I'm here for you, right?" Your head tucked under his chin, as you were 'rightfully' back in his arms. He just hugged you tighter, and let out his signature grunt. "You're my girlfriend. Is it wrong I want you here." It was a rhetorical question. When you looked up at him there was a kiss placed on your forehead. It was sweet, quite possessive, but sweet.

[vampirevatican]

Biker boy Judd that’s all I ask…

so, i don't have much but!

if you've ever seen bee and puppycat? he gets you your own helmet and biker jacket

depending on your aesthetic it's either very pastel and cutesy or it's just as alt and goth as his

yes he has a biker jacket, no you guys don't have "his" and "hers" but you do have "scary dog" and "princess"

ofc you ride on his bike and he's a bit more careful with you as opposed to riding alone

mfer drives like he doesn't value his life, we know this

but with you? he values your life and by default extension his

reaches back for you at red lights just to make sure you're okay

you could talk him into stopping by any store you want to go in on your way back

he loves when you hold on tight to him

won't admit it but will tell you to... for safety reasons

[vampirevatican]

Hi, hope you're doing well!!

I love your Judd works and was wondering what your headcanons are for Judd having a sensitive girlfriend...

Like, they're polar opposites. She's quiet, sweet, and tender hearted. She keeps to herself for the most part and is good at self-regulating her emotions, but when she gets too overwhelmed, upset, mad, or stressed, she totally breaks and has a hard time cooling down. How would Judd handle her strong emotions?

I think Judd being super soft only for his sensitive girlfriend is such a cute concept 🥺

Thank you sm!! <333

omg thank you, that's so sweet!! also...

'oh my goodness i love this question!!! um, i think...'

a super soft gf for judd?? just what the doc ordered tbh

i think he'd handle her big emotions differently, mainly depending on the situation

like say she's really pissed and is about to get into a fight? i don't think he'd stop her unless it wouldn't be good for her in the long run. like if it risks her bright future or he could see her having to go to hospital

when it comes to work? be it a job or school then he'd definitely make sure she got breaks before she breaks down or burns out completely

he'd probably give her a rage room, like he'd build a cutesy shed and the inside of it is where she can scream, throw, punch, kick and break things as much as she wants

he's very much an actions over words, ya know? although if she just needed him to sit with her for a bit and repeat reassuring phrases he would

he'd hold her close and rub her back, or play with her hair, kiss her forehead and the top of her head

god forbid his family caused the break down, you're just consistently in his room as prisoner and if you have to use the bathroom he's a body guard at that point

some additionals bc gosh this is cute (and brainrot tings)

he will not do the soft sanrio cutesy things with her like matching outfits... UNLESS she found a way to make badtz maru, or another all black sanrio character, more punk

hear me out please... i can picture him 'tolerating' a lot of cute stuff for her, especially if she pulls puppy eyes

the raccoons? consider some of them dressed up with bows, silly outfits or even glitter

his van? there's holographic and cute stickers on it sometimes and yes he rides in her car sometimes and accepts that it's decked out in full girly uniform

actually his favorite sticker on her bumper is a cute bunny that says, 'i know i have a cute ass. can you stop riding it?' or it's baby baphomet stickers he picked out for her by the same artist (tiktok mention)

whenever he picks outfits for her? she has to hide whatever black she has, lest it looks more pastel goth/grunge

he loves her dearly. this is a sun and moon dynamic. this is one of those 'if anything happens to them id kill everyone in the room and then myself.'

[vampirevatican]

AAAA OK I NEED A PART 2 OF JUDD’S WITCHY GF SJDJSJXNSNX

i... honestly don't know what to include? so ima make this kinda brief

cooking witch? at some point he asks if you did anything special to the food

tries to do some magic and surprise!! he's summoned something

willingly drinks your moon water, it energizes him

doesn't ask questions if you need a lock of his hair or a tee

heck he would even bottle his sweat and give it to you if needed it

thinks it cute and reassures you if ever he finds rose quartz crystals while you're together

gets a witch like tattoo with you, yes it matches

buys you lighters, jars, stuff for your potions, spells, incantations

[vampirevatican]

Hi! What about Judd Birch with a girl who unwittingly attracts a lot of attention from other guys?

ooooo, interesting.

so we could go with a jealousy route but i always picture judd as an actions guy. so, he wouldn't vocalize it but he'd definitely have planning with the raccoons and get kinda protective.

like he would engage in more pda if y'all are together and some guy is looking too long, tries to pull her attention or dares to shoot his shot.

since we're talking about the girl not realizing it, he'd never take it out on her. she's never to blame. actually he finds it slightly cute and is extremely grateful that she loves him and only him.

[vampirevatican]

Hello dear mother i would like to request some judd birch x mute afab reader if that is acceptable please feed us we are starving for this man 🙃😊🥰

ask and you shall receive child

y'all's relationship is just the same as anyone elses

the only difference is how y'all communicate

hear me out, he's patient. for man to have trained a battalion of raccoons and even recognizing when he pushed them too hard? he's patient and kind.

im not sure on this but im thinking the way y'all communicate is either: yes or no's, sign language, facial expressions/body language, or the old fashioned writing it down on paper or board

maybe a combination of some of these

personal fave is a board, be it chalk or whiteboard because of how versatile and easy it can be

another idea is those button thingies. they're mainly in videos with pets, they're actually meant for ppl with disabilities, but that'd be kinda cute and easy too

imagine he got a fuck ton of those buttons with his own voice or got leah to speak for him?

if it's selective, or speech therapy(?), is involved i think he'd be in awe the first time he hears you utter anything

he'd probably make an effort to record it next time, if there is one, just to remember your voice

[vampirevatican]

Judd birch x reader where reader is more grunge and Leah’s friend and just overall how they would act together and around each other (a cherry on top would be reader being in a band)

YES I CAN MENTION HIS GUITAR COLLECTION NOW!! *shuffles papers* ahem

the contrast is what gets him interested. why is someone like you, hanging out with his sister?

say if reader is the same age as Judd then why is practically a fem judd being a surrogate sibling, and why is she doing a better job?!

not like he's jealous about it (he is)

which makes y'all go into a light enemies and then friends

he gets closer to them out of curiosity as to why they're around Leah so much and they both become friends

hanging out in his room you see his guitar and he finds out you can play

now wether he has those for decoration or is up to you

he has like... i think 2 or 3 guitars in his room

y'all could practice together

maybe reader doesn't play in their band, but sing? and he teaches them

jam seshes together.... all very cute

personally i think it'd be cute if they were in a band together or made one together

leah is definitely for it, she'd ship you guys together

[vampirevatican]

Scrap the last one bestie!

The brothers with a black gf black n wash day, hair redone day, and styles they like on her!!

Enjoy so self indulgent content 😘

omg tytytyty so much!! since it's self indulgent, ima write (w/ my hair, 3b - 4a, and self in mind) my faves and what comes to mind uwu

Wash day, Styling and Fave Style

The ones who help w/ the process:

Satan goes the whole nine yards. Conditioning, rinsing, detangling, shampoo, rinse, and style. If braids, ofc blow dry then style but if not? Then he does everything to keep her curls intact. Usually sections the hair so it's easier on her. On days where he's pissed but it's also wash day, it soothes him. Seeing her smile as he shampoos her hair, the fact she trusts him with her hair. You know this demon did research, like heavy research.

Beel would help with the detangle but feels bad seeing her wince when he has to brush it out, so he helps with washing and lets her detangle but always reminds her to section it off so it's easier. Also helps with styling but there are quite a few snack breaks where she ends up doing it herself for a bit before he gets back to it. Belphie is usually there, seemingly knocked out, and will say something out of the blue like. "If you keep it sectioned off then it's easier." or "Beel she's fine, the braids are supposed to be tight." If im thinking black-hispanic twins? then they've got her set, no research needed. though Beel is still Beel, so Belphie does the detangling instead.

Levi would be able to help with a lace front and you can't tell me otherwise. It's the cosplay. I know this demon don't play when it comes to cosplay. Now if we're talking blasian levi, i feel like he could do the whole process w/o research but would have to slip into a hairstylist persona. Same goes for Levi as is, but once he does, seeing you trust him is enough to put his confidence through the rough. "Me? Really? You want a filthy, loser, shut-in, otaku like me to do your hair?" trust me he's good at it, would need to do some research to figure out styles and how but he's p good.

Asmo would do it no questions asked and fully eager too. Already has a list of styles ready, just needs you to pick though he definitely has his favorite.

The ones who give support:

Mammon is my silly mfer. my goofy ahh nigga. so he's here to keep her sane through the process, to keep her from doing the 'i remember you was conflicted' kendrick scream. ESPECIALLY when it's any hairstyle that has many parts/sections, like (god forbid) micro braids. Oh yes and although he is my black man, i like to think he only knows how to do his hair. Gotta keep up the appearance, after all his face card makes dollars so he doesn't have to make sense/cents. You'd let him comb through, detangle, your shit once and he immediately puts the brush down when you shout about the ouch because he fucked up the order.

Lucifer would literally pay someone to get it done for her and if they ever fucked up the process? May Lord Diavolo help the poor lesser demon, or human. Honestly I feel like he'd make a big deal out of it and even travel to the human world with her, especially if it made her more comfortable.

Belphie could do her hair... he just doesn't want to. He loves to touch whenever it's just out and mutter about how soft it is when it's washed then dried, but he is not dealing with that mass of hair. Hell even if im talking black-hispanic belphie?? he still wouldn't. He has Asmo do his hair for him, and as sloth why tf would he? So his purpose is to say something to encourage and reassure Beel, pull her out of dreams when Beel needs a break from styling or hold conversation with her to keep her awake while doing hair.

Their favorite hairstyles... and why! ☝🏾🤓:

Asmo loves french curl braids. They're very pretty, long, come in many colors and combinations, the curl!!! like, come on now. Versatile too because of how long it is, there's multiple ways to put it up and wear it. A second favorite is box braids but curling the ends when sealing them. Because it's just as pretty and versatile but sometimes shorter than the french curls.

Mammon likes loves fulani braids, bantu knots, jaded braids, triangle box braids, knot less braids, yarn braids and whenever she styles her fro into a shape. He love, love, love, loves seeing you being expressive with your hair. Second to that is whenever she wears a style that matches his. (yes actual black hairstyles, yes im talking about fan art.)

Beel doesn't have much of an opinion, she looks pretty no matter what in his eyes. However there are styles he thinks are cool or add to her cuteness like: afro, bantu knots, jaded braids, bubble braids, goddess braids

Belphie also doesn't have a preference, protective style or just out he loves it... BUT he likes it when it's easier for her to put a bonnet on or just lay down so he's biased to: twists, braids, faux locs, and box braids

Levi likes twists of all kinds and snake braids, or as i like to call it zig zag cornrows. He also likes whenever you just wear a wig/weave/sew-in because he has a hand in making it look like your actual hair, again cosplay lace front skills to the rescue. But also because he enjoys the ease of taking it off, depending on installment, and switching it out. Loves you being able to cosplay at the drop of a hat or embodying his favorite visual novel girls. "She gon' be black today." her and blasian levi say in unison.

Satan loves anything that shows off her natural hair. Not like adding hair ruins it for him, he loves her in any style but adores seeing it with little manipulation. With that said, afro or poof(s). Find it endearing and thinks she's adorable whenever she fashions the fro or twin poofs into cat ears. He also loves it when she does that with her box braids but just adores the floof.

Lucifer wouldn't say he has a preference but it's just known he loves elegance so: goddess braids, box braids with curls, french curl braids, micro braids, sew-in, lemonade braids, and nubian twists. Because he's pride, he loves to show her off and regardless of the style? whenever he decides to take her out and show her off he's gonna make sure she looks stunning.

[vampirevatican]

HI I LOVE UR JUDD WRITINGS!!! theyre like,, kefhipefhkjfhsdjfhweiofhiof. but, i have a request! most judd x readers i see are where like, his s/o is a sweet person or whatever. and i agree that is PROBABLY whats best for him, yes, but what if he had a s/o whos like him? like similar personality wise. what do you think?

EEEEEEEEE, sorry got very excited. firstly thank you so much, i try. secondly this has been a constant and now i get to tackle it

remember the valentine's episode? the green haired girl with the blue eyes and she looked pretty nu goth or nu metal??

yeah something like that would be in his ball park too and i think he'd have just as much fun

maybe a bit more?? nothing against the softies but i feel like he'd be able to let loose more, and get up to devious activities with them w/o stressing for them?

that is to say, for the opposites, they could commit crimes but that ranges on who im writing for and with that in mind also goes for the success of the crime

someone like him? yeah we're talking goth/punk/emo bonnie and clyde

vandalism, arson, petty theft and other light crimes

they both terrorize nick and his friends, it's necessary

someone like this? would probably be friends with jessi and lola. probably teach missy how to live a little w/o getting caught

y'all are definitely matching sometimes, sometimes it's the hair or accessories

they actually get him to dress up sometimes, like wearing rings

they'll do his eye makeup and he does yours

the raccoons are y'all's kids, i swear

pet possums are added to the mix, maybe rats

judd's parents? if they were to meet his other half then they'd be supportive but also a bit worried. elliot is expecting complete darkness to take over the world, bc there can't be two judd's.

again, loves seeing them kick ass and would join in if they needed help

overall there's definitely intimate and sweet moments but there's also so much crime or like creepy/crazy added to it

[vampirevatican]

2. Lucifer and a stationary obsessed partner. Love collecting a bunch of cute office items with the intent to use but is far too intimated to actually use them bc of how much they like the items and don’t want to “ruin” it.

Stationary Shenanigans

when you first show off some of the stationary brought with you, he doesn't think much of it

a cute hobby perhaps, or maybe you just really like writing and office supplies

but when there's one too many packages from akuzon, and it's not the cause of his brothers

then yeah, this is just your thing

at first he doesn't understand why you don't use it, "it's meant to be used... that's what it's made for, dear."

though when you explain why he starts to understand it a little bit

not damaging the merchandise and what not, it kinda reminds him of how levi is with his figurines

the stationary is important to you, and therefore he respects it as such

would definitely buy some stationary for you just because

you have a peacock feather quil pin with ink for it too, yes it's blue ink

yes you have velvet stationary, red velvet to be precise

some of it even has extremely intricate patterns, like the washi tape

and all of these have come from non other than lucifer himself.

Lucifer didn't understand why you would always buy a bunch of stationary and just not use it. Though the closest answer he had was it being similar to how demons have things they just couldn't resist. This time it was stationary with cute little animal mascots on it. Pens, notepads, sticky notes, sticker sheets. He was watching as you went over each piece with him and just couldn't help but smile a little. It was endearing and maybe one day he'd surprise you with a set you were eyeing.

[vampirevatican]

Consider the brothers learning about their hazbin hotel/ hellava boss counter parts

we only have so many (and ive only watched helluva boss) but!!!

Mammon (Greed)

they'd be chill with each other until Mammon found out about how much of an ass he is

he understands the greed, the money plotting/scheming

hell maybe admires the skill/planning BUT!

he absolutely despises how gross this giant buggy christmas tree is

Beelzebub (Gluttony)

doesn't get how she's not always hungry

but understands it as "she gets full off parties" which is enough for him

he'd chug the honey. you can't tell me anything else, he just would.

Beel isn't a light weight either so it'd take maybe 4 jugs to do him in... UNLESS

he is? idk how he is with demonus and how much it'd take to take him down

anyway they definitely vibe

Asmodeus (Lust)

you can't tell me... they wouldn't vibe

definitely thinks his deep voice is hot, and ozzie thinks azzy's is cute

the amount of gossiping!?

he'd definitely admire how he has a whole business around sex

they'd gush over their love interests and azzy would think ozzie calling his boyfriend "froggy" is so cute!!

i just picture them both in fancy robes, sipping tea and catching up about each other's respective hell's

Lucifer (Pride)

"you are a sad, sad, little man. and i pity you."

he could learn a thing or two from mini lucifer about how to be a little bit silly

the eldest brother is baffled at him being the ruler but then thinks about dia and is less confused

he leaves the interaction with the assumption that "you must be a little silly to run hell."

mini lucifer... thinks this fallen angel is really cool but needs to chill a bit, maybe get a hobby... maybe rubber duckies!