#blame the alphabet for that one tho... anon aint do nothin

[vampirevatican]

Can you do a Judd birch alphabet? You can decide if it’s nsfw or not

I've decided to do both, so here's the...

SFW & NSFW JUDDPHABET

Affection

He's affectionate but it's mostly through actions. (i.e. dinner date from the valentines day episode) I think he'd have his hands on you in public but in subtle ways. Finger in the belt loop of your pants, arm around your waist, arm on the back of the couch when you both sit together.

Best friend

He's a good guy at his core. you can not talk me down from that hill So I think he'd make a great friend. Hell quite a few alt people are and that usually comes from their beliefs.

A great listener, doesn't solve the problem unless you're looking for a solution, would offer to go torch some abandoned building or some other crimes but is only dead set if you are and it'd actually help you feel better.

Cuddles

He's big spoon, loves when you guys get ready to sleep and you get as close as possible without him having to do it.

Dirty secret

He's actually a softie. You can't tell me that he's not. The raccoons, melon ball, Judd has a soft side and it's canon.

Experience (NSFW)

No, yeah, he's experienced. Sexual and Romantic. Two girlfriends shown in the show, or rather at least one girl that he planned a dinner date for that was kinda fancy? Which makes me think they would've had at least a year together.

Favorite position(s) (NSFW)

Speaking of the letter 'E'

Face down, ass up is his usual go to. To get more specific? I think he'd love doing the mating press so he can really drill in. Big boy go deep... However also, rapid fire

69, The bicycle, hoisting you up on counters or bending you over. It depends on the amount of horny and where but one thing is for sure, he wants to bury himself into the hilt.

Gentle (NSFW implied)

I say, he's gentle when he wants to be. Ofc great at aftercare but outside of the obvious I think he's attentive to emotions of others, maybe not empathetic but what is he if not an observer.

Hair (NSFW implied)

So I've been over how he doesn't use a 16 in 1. Now let's talk about how I think he maintains his hair, and... a brief headcanon on the situation downstairs.

So getting general around 6 to 12 weeks he'll re-dye his hair. Probably at the 6 mark and with the sides of his hair, maybe even back, then we have the 2 to 4 week timing of him shaving it again. Notice how I say he does it. Sure he could get someone else too and depending on his schedule he sometimes does.

As for his junk... I don't think he shaves, maybe trims?

I love you

He's not about to say it first, and if he is then it's probably in response to you doing something he didn't expect or some random cuddle session in the back of his van.

Jacking off (NSFW)

Id love to bring in the concept of his own hormone monster but it's not necessary. He doesn't wank it often but when he does it's either built up or an in the moment thing.

Kisses (NSFW implied)

He's such a... good kisser 🎶~

Speaking wild... He's great at making out, imo, very passionate and heated.

Speaking soft? I like to think he'd kiss your forehead if you're small, or like the top of your head?? Before pulling you closer to him. Is it spur of the moment or he notices you being pouty, yeah.

Little ones (is he good with kids)

Again see letter 'D'. I swear he's good with kids. ffs he also helped out Andrew, reluctantly ofc, but i swear this dude is great with kids.

Mornings

Picture with me waking up in his bed, sharing the bathroom together and heading downstairs to a greeting from his supportive parents. Very cute, usually chill, and yes he drives you home or you head out with him. Nice breakfast into little adventures with your punk rock boyfriend, isn't that fun!

Nights

I love to think when it's not spent in his or your bedroom then it's his van or at some abandoned building. Lots of cuddles, maybe some arson or bne of an old abandoned business but if y'all were caught by the owner you'd be in trouble because you're defacing the property.

Open

I don't think he's an open guy, unless he's actually comfortable around you. It definitely takes some time but the more he learns about you the more you learn about him and it starts subtle af too. That is til y'all are a few drinks or blunt hits deep and everything starts to bleed

Pace (NSFW)

What pace do you need or want him to go? Naturally I think he'd have a steady pace and rhythm but if you needed it to be different then he'll adjust.

Questions (does he ask about you?)

See letter 'O'. I feel like he's direct but also would ask others about you if you aren't close enough yet and he doesn't have much of a choice. Mainly out of curiosity or wanting to do something for you.

Remember (and from those questions what does he remember?)

I say everything because again, he is an observer. Any little thing you like, stuff you hate, your fashion taste, favorite food, color, music genres. He knows it.

Stamina (NSFW)

For a dude that exercises, and is built the way he is i think it only makes sense for him to have really good stamina. Which means multiple rounds... if you're up for it.

Toys (NSFW)

For those who've been liking my works from last year about this man. Im going to call the knife a toy, but ofc he's definitely open to using a vibrator or other things in the bedroom

Ugly (the good, the bad and the ugly - headcanon negative traits)

So the canon aside, i feel like if you guys got into a genuine argument he'd shut down or double down. Not a huge red flag, and a better option to calm down and walk away but for those who can't handle that he ready for a breakup and him saying some real mean shit.

I can't see him being controlling or possessive but there's a possibility of it ramping up and if you two don't get to the route of it then... hwoof. especially if you aren't okay with it

Volume (NSFW)

He doesn't get loud... At all. But by god do I want him to be. Mfer can make you scream but him?? He be up in your ear mummering nd shit.

Warning (would be protect you? even from himself?)

Absolutely! If he's going out to do something really bad then he's not bringing you along, no matter how badass you are. Y'all get into an argument? Like I said before. I think he'd warn you or before taking the gloves off he'd address how this is just anger, and if you two wanna continue then he's okay with it as long as you know this is just being genuinely pissed

X exes (what's it like being his ex?)

Friends, friends with benefits if he's not dating someone else and you're okay with it. Things slip back into friend territory if y'all separated on good terms. Bad terms? No y'all do not talk... At all.

Yelling

Again he's not known to raise his voice but that doesn't mean he's not capable of doing so and I'm a firm believer that it'd be scary as fuck. Seeing you scared, if you do get scared, or even tear up bc if you don't do well with confrontation then he'd stop. If he was still mad or irritated then he just walks off to cook down, but if not then he instantly apologizes.

Zzz (going to bed together)

See the letter 'C', but anyways. I swear he's a cuddle bug, i need him to be. But he'd never admit it.