#-your husband couldnt come to one of the births

[tweedfrog]

Reading that ballerina farms article is GRIM like my god the tradwife movement amd religious conservativism truly is tricking women into accepting and PROMOTING domestic situations that they wouldve escaped using a shotgun or rat poison even 80 years earlier

[azrielslittleslut]

I have a lil angst/fluff request if your still taking them. Its a single dad azriel x reader. Where he had a baby with Elain but she took off with Lucien and she left Az with the baby (lets say baby is 6 months old and has no wings). Az is kinda freakin out cuz babies and him hes a lil scared on what to do. While on a mission in day court Az then meets reader who has the most beautiful white feathered wings and hes instantly mesmerized. Hes there for such a short amount of time so he decides to shoot his shot and lands himself a few dates (not once mentioning hes a father). He notices once or twice that reader will not engage or awknowledge babies when or if they smile and coo at her, but he thinks nothing of it. On his last night in the Day Court the bond snaps for him ( but not for her) and hes so so freakin happy, he invites her to Velaris to visit his family and meet his son. Hes a lil nervous about it and when he finally introduces them shes so cold and distant, wont even hold the baby or look at him. She flys back home that same night and tells Az some lame excuse that hes nice but he should have started out saying he had a son. Anyway long story short turns out that she had struggled to have a baby with her husband, and when it finally happend she had a rough birth but holding her baby in her arms was worth the wait.

*Trigger warning*

In the end she felt she failed as a mother and couldnt protect her baby from an enemy she had made from being her husband had also died trying to protect their child, so seeing children was just too painful for her and so she tried to avoid at all costs. I see it going both ways Az waiting yrs for her to heal and coming back for her, Or Az and them working and healing together, You can end however you see fit, or not at all of its too triggering. I just hardley ever see single dad Az freaking out over a lil baby. And scared af reader.

"Wounds"

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Warnings: talk of child loss/difficult pregnancy, angst, language, fluff, Az being a worried dad, slight Elain slander, happy ending:)

Word Count: 7.8k

a/n: anon, i know this took ages, but i wanted to get it right. i personally have never experienced this, but i hope i did it justice. my thoughts go out to everyone on here who has experienced child loss or hard pregnancies! <3

Enjoy!

"Please stop crying. Please," Azriel begged, his eyes looking worriedly down at the bundle in his arms. No amount of coddling or singing or rocking seemed to soothe the baby, and he was at his wit's end with exhaustion. He held his son close, savoring the warmth radiating from him. "Come on, Ky. What do you need?"

Kyrell, or Ky for short, looked up at Az, his eyes full of tears. His eyes were dark brown, just like his mother's, and Azriel felt a sharp pang in his chest every time he looked at his son. Those eyes brought back memories full of joy, but mostly pain. Azriel couldn't stop his mind from going back to a little over a year ago, back to that day that had changed everything.

"Are you sure, Elain?" Azriel asked, his voice full of anxiety. His shadows swirled around him, sensing the stress of their master. "Have you talked to Madja?"

Elain squared her shoulders, her face like stone. "Madja was the one who confirmed it. I am sure." She rested a hand over her flat belly. "She said I'm only a few weeks along, but she doesn't think the babe has wings."

Az felt a rush of relief wash through his body. He didn't want to remember what had happened with Feyre, and he would rather die than watch Elain suffer the same way. "Are you... happy? I mean, this was unplanned. We were so careful... I don't know how this happened."

They had both been taking the contraceptive tonic, not willing to take any risks since they were so secretive about their relationship. How had this happened?

Elain took a step forward and took his hands in hers. "I am happy, Az. I've always wanted to be a mother," she said, her voice soft. "Yes, this is unexpected, but this baby is a sign of our love. The outcome of a wonderful and beautiful joining that even the cauldron itself couldn't stop."

Azriel's heart swelled in his chest. He pulled his hand from hers, lowering it to rest on her belly. He could already imagine the life growing inside of her, the future they would have together. He pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her hair. "I don't know how to be a father," he admitted. "But we can figure it out together."

Elain wrapped her arms around his waist, careful of his wings. "Together," she agreed.

Those had been fake words and empty promises. Only a few days after Ky's birth, Elain had disappeared quite literally into the night, leaving everything she owned in the townhouse. Az had returned from a short mission in Winter Court to his son crying in his crib and a note on the nightstand saying that Elain had left to be with Lucien. That she had decided to accept the bond and live with him. That she wanted to leave Azriel and their son to live a happy and carefree life.

Unfortunately, being the single father of a newborn didn't give Azriel much time to grieve, or even be angry, about what happened. So he had done what he always did and buried his feelings deep down into his soul. He had a baby to take care of, and he was afraid of what could happen if he let himself feel.

Ky's wail tore through the room, bringing Azriel back to the present. He had cried like this almost every night for the last few weeks, and Azriel couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't cut out to be a father. He couldn't do this. He should have been more careful with Elain. He should have-

"He's teething," Feyre said from the doorway. She made her way into the room, her footsteps light. "They cry like that when they're teething."

Azriel looked down at Ky as he said, "Does that... hurt them?" He ignored how stupid the question sounded as he asked it.

Feyre smiled softly as she held her hands out. "It's uncomfortable for them, and crying is the only way they can tell you. May I?" she asked, her brows raised in expectation. "I do have some experience with this, you know."

Azriel gently handed Ky to Feyre, his wings drooping to the floor. He had moved into the River House after Elain had left. He had tried to do things on his own, not wanting to inconvenience his family. But after a few weeks of not sleeping, or eating for that matter, Rhys and Feyre had all but dragged him into their home, stating that if he didn't move in with them, they would order it as his High Lord and High Lady.

It had been difficult at first, but now he was so thankful for their help. They knew how to raise a baby because of Nyx, and he gladly accepted any advice they offered. They kept their distance, though, allowing Az to figure out fatherhood on his own.

"I'm sorry if he woke you," Az said quietly. "How long does this last?"

Feyre smiled down at Ky, her hand running over his tuft of black hair. "Until their teeth come in." She looked up at Az, and her face hardened as she saw his expression. "This is normal, Az. Healthy, even. It means he's growing, which is a good thing. But for tonight, Rhys is whipping together a salve we used on Nyx to help with the pain. He should have it ready in the next few minutes."

Azriel released a breath, his shadows moving to swirl around Ky. His shadows loved his son, loved swirling around him to make him giggle. "Thank you," Az murmured to Feyre. "For... for all of this. I don't think I would be standing if it weren't for you and Rhys."

Feyre smiled, her eyes bright with emotion. "You're welcome, Az. I would never let one of my closest friends and nephew suffer." She winked at him. "Besides, who else would babysit while you go on a mission?"

Right, his missions. Since Ky had been born, Azriel had gone on a few missions, but he had reluctantly learned how to delegate the harder ones to his spies. He couldn't risk something happening to him now that he had a son to raise, so he only took the easier ones, and he was never gone for more than two days.

"Ky does love to play with Nyx," Azriel murmured quietly as if that was a good enough reason for his son to be left here while he was gone. What would Az do when Ky got older? How would he explain to him the details of his job to his son? What if Ky didn't-

Az was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize Feyre had moved closer to him. "Speaking of missions," she said quietly, her voice low. "Rhys needs you to go to Day Court. Nothing serious, of course. Just routine surveillance."

Azriel nodded distantly, his mind going numb. "Of course. I can leave in the morning." His mind was already racing, preparing to become the shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court and not a scared single father.

Feyre smiled softly, her hand cradling Ky's tiny head. "Don't worry about Ky. We will watch him."

For a few moments, the world narrowed down to his sleeping son in his High Lady's arms. He looked so vulnerable and frail, and Az was overcome with a wave of anger and rage.

How could Elain do this to him? Azriel didn't care if she felt nothing for him, but how could she look at this perfect child and decide to leave?

Azriel locked those feelings away as fast as they came, choosing to ignore them rather than face them head-on. "I'll get the details from Rhys in the morning," he said finally. "A routine trip to Day Court can't be that difficult."

---

It turned out that a routine trip to Day Court could be that difficult. Immediately upon arrival, Azriel quickly realized how much training his spies here lacked. He had spent hours rehashing the basics—how to blend into a crowd, how to remain silent in the shadows. These spies were supposed to be his eyes and ears, yet they couldn’t even follow the simplest of protocols.

Most infuriating of all, they hadn’t been sharing information with each other. One claimed to know about the political shifts happening within the Day Court, but when pressed, they admitted it was only rumors. Another had no idea about the movements of the court’s key players. It was as if they were all operating independently, blind to the larger picture.

Prythian was shifting, changing, and these people had failed to notice. Azriel’s temples pulsed with a dull ache, the constant incompetence chipping away at his already thinning patience. How had it gotten this bad? How had they let things slip so far?

By the time the sun dipped low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the streets of the Day Court, he was no longer hiding in the shadows. There was no point. His headache had grown unbearable, a sharp reminder of how much he longed to be somewhere else—anywhere else. He thought of his son. He missed him fiercely, the boy’s infant giggle, the way his tiny hands would reach up for him when he returned home.

But now, he was trapped in this beautiful, sunlit prison, surrounded by spies who couldn’t even spy. The thought made him grit his teeth.

He had just turned the corner onto another street when he was stopped in his tracks. Before him stood the most beautiful female he had ever seen, but what caught his attention was her feathery white wings. They shimmered faintly in the sunlight, as if they had been dipped in iridescent powder.

"Hey, watch it asshole!" The yell came from a disgruntled bystander who didn't appear to be happy with Azriel's sudden stop in the middle of the busy street. With another curse, the bystander made their way around Azriel's hulking form, so obviously out of place here in Day.

Azriel shrugged it off, taking a step forward to keep walking down the street, but he was stopped by the sound of a lovely female voice.

"It's not every day we get someone from the Night Court around here," the female said with a smile.

Azriel blinked. It seemed that the commotion on the street had been loud enough to catch the beautiful female's attention. She now stood before him, her white wings tucked in tight.

"Am I that obvious?" Azriel asked finally. He had years of practice at blending in, and this female had called him out immediately.

She chuckled, the sound soft like wind chimes. "Well, black isn't really a Day Court color. And," she said, gesturing to his wings, "I don't know of another court that has winged males."

Azriel shrugged nonchalantly. "You never know. Maybe I'm from a court nobody has ever heard of. I could be an undiscovered creature, here to make a home in Day Court."

Azriel had always been good with females, never struggling to use his charms and looks to woo them. Hell, he usually didn't have to even say anything.

But right now, he honestly didn't know what the fuck he was saying. An undiscovered creature? If Cassian ever heard about this...

The female laughed again, this time tipping her head back. Azriel was mesmerized by the sound, his chest tingling. "You're not a creature," she said matter-of-factly. "You're Azriel. The shadowsinger."

Az crossed his arms, his eyes looking at the female warily. "You've heard of me?" He knew he had a reputation in Prythian, and it wasn't a good one. Normally, it wouldn't bother him if others knew what he did, but something about this female made him want to fall to his knees and repent for all of the wrongs he had done.

"Of course I have. You fought in the War." She was smiling at him, her cheeks dimpling slightly. "Besides, I've always been curious about shadowsingers, so it's only right that I would know about the only one alive."

His shadows were swarming him now, despite the bright sun. We like her, they whispered to him. She is different than the others.

Az cleared his throat, his eyes on her wings "Your wings... I've never seen any like that before."

She looked over her shoulder at her wings. "I got them from my mother, or so my father says. I wouldn't know. She died when I was young, and I don't remember her very well." Despite the dark turn of the conversation, her tone was light, her smile still plastered on her beautiful face.

Azriel found himself smiling slightly. "Well, they are very beautiful." He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as the compliment left his lips, but her bright smile washed it away.

"Thank you, Azriel," she responded, her eyes bright. She tilted her head as one of his shadows wrapped itself around her wrists. "I like your shadows," she said with a giggle.

His shadows never acted like this with anyone, not even Elain. With Ky, they were protective mother hens, but now, they almost seemed... enamored.

Azriel was not usually the type of male to ask a female out who he had quite literally just met. But he knew he would hate himself if he didn't at least offer her dinner, so after a few moments of watching his shadows swirl around her, he asked, "Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?"

She looked up from his shadows, her brows raised. She sheepishly bit her lip as her wings twitched. "I would," she said. She offered him her hand, rings glinting on her fingers. "I'm Y/N, by the way. I figured you would ask my name before asking me out on a date, but I have always heard of the strange Night Court customs."

Azriel took her hand, fighting the urge to look at his scarred skin against her perfect flesh. "My apologies. I, uh, I-" He struggled to come up with an excuse for his lack of manners, but he came up short.

She patted him on the shoulder gently. "I can forgive you. As long as you pay." She clicked her tongue, looking past him to the shops lining the streets. "Day Court is amazing, but I swear it has the most expensive food..."

Azriel smiled as he listened to her ramble on, following her as she made her way through the crowd. His shadows still swarmed her, but she didn't seem to mind.

After all, it was only one date, and then he would go back to the Night Court... and to his beloved son.

---

One date turned into three, and Azriel couldn't help but admit to himself how much fun he was having. He had not laughed this hard in ages, and even though he had only known her for two days, he felt more open and seen than ever.

He had told her all about his training in the camps, the wars, the Inner Circle. She had listened intently, even diving into her own life. It turns out that she worked at a small bookshop in the city, and she had two roommates in a small townhouse.

She seemed to have such a simple, perfect life, and Azriel found himself full of envy. He tried to fight it, but as he listened to her talk about her daily routines, he wondered what it would be like to live such a life.

"Why were you up at three in the morning, anyway?" she said with a laugh. They were walking down the streets, enjoying the quietness that came with nighttime in the Day Court. "Most people are asleep then."

Azriel paused for a moment. He had been telling her of the time he had found Cassian eating an entire chocolate cake with his bare hands in the kitchen. He had been up because Ky had been crying, and he had wandered into the kitchen for a bottle, only to find a chocolate-covered Cassian and a pissed of Nesta.

Azriel had told her many things, more than he had ever told anyone, but he left out the fact he had a son. He didn't know how to bring that up, afraid she would judge him, or worse... take pity on him for his unfortunate situation. The thought of someone feeling sorry for him twisted his stomach, and he wasn't ready to see that look in her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," he said at last. "What? They don't have midnight snacks here in the Day Court?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Midnight snacks, yes. Three-in-the-morning snacks, absolutely not."

"Well, you're missing out. You should really try-"

Azriel was cut off as a young fae female walked up. She was pretty, with pointed ears and bright red hair. In her arms, she held a small child, no older than two or three. The child was wrapped in a pink blanket, sleeping soundly against the female's chest.

Azriel's heart clenched as a wave of homesickness swept over him. He missed Ky terribly. He knew he was doing alright, thanks to his earlier check-in with Rhys and Feyre, but he longed to be the one holding his baby. He could almost feel the weight of his son in his arms, the scent of him, the way his little hands would reach for Azriel in the middle of the night.

"Y/N!" the female greeted, her tone warm. "I haven't seen you around in ages! How have you been?"

Azriel's companion smiled, but he could see something dark in her eyes. "I've been... good." Her voice was tighter than usual, all signs of her earlier laughter gone. "And you?"

"Oh, you know. Tired all the time, thanks to the little one crying at all hours of the night." The female smiled softly, bouncing the child gently in her arms.

Azriel could understand that, at least. He would never forget the time he almost put his boots in the fridge instead of the milk because of his exhaustion.

"Yes, well. I've always heard motherhood can be difficult, but you look amazing- if that counts for anything." As Y/N spoke, Az noticed how she made it a point not to look at the sleeping child, keeping her eyes on her friend's face.

Perhaps, she didn't like children? Or maybe she wasn't really friends with this woman, and she was trying to appear uncomfortable to get out of the situation?

The other female's gaze lowered for a moment. "I am sorry. I.. I-" she stammered for a few moments before shaking her head, seeming to right her thoughts. "Right. Well, I'll leave you two alone." She smiled kindly at Az. "Enjoy your evening."

She quickly hurried off, leaving Azriel to stare at Y/N. "Are you alright?" he asked lowly, daring to place a gentle hand on her arm. Her gaze had gone nearly vacant, and he decided he would do anything to bring back the warmth from earlier.

She blinked whatever emotion she was fighting away. "I'm fine. That woman is always driving me up the walls. Always coming into my store, asking if I can spare any free books."

Azriel nodded, but something told him there was more to the story. He decided not to press it. "Shall we?" he asked, offering her his arm.

The two of them made their way down the street, once again laughing and carrying on as if nothing had happened. But there was still a shadow there, a voice telling him that there were still pieces of her that he didn't understand.

---

The mating bond snapping into place took Azriel completely by surprise. It was Azriel's last night in the Day Court, and she had been showing him her bookstore.

She had handed him a new arrival, her eyes alight with passion, when he had felt that snap inside of his chest. He had stumbled back into a shelf, his wings pushed against the wood, his hand on his chest. He was still struggling to breathe as she leaned over him, her voice soft.

"Azriel?" she asked, her tone full of worry. "Are you alright? Let me go get you some water-"

Mate. You are my mate. His thoughts were drowned out by a deafening ringing in his ears, and it took all of his self-control to not blurt them out in a fit of happiness.

After he regulated his breathing, Az forced himself to stand upright. "I'm fine," he murmured, his eyes on her face. She was looking at him with worry and shock, her arms out to catch him in case he stumbled again. "Are you- do you feel anything?"

Her brows furrowed as she shook her head. "No. Other than worrying about you tearing down my new bookshelf," she said, but there was a teasing smile on her lips.

I guess the bond only snapped for me, Azriel thought to himself. It made sense, of course, but it would make things a lot less complicated if she felt it, too.

It was in that moment that Azriel decided that she needs to see all of him. Where he comes from, his family... his son. If she wanted to be his mate, it would be on her terms, not his.

He ignored the voices plaguing his mind, telling him that this wonderful female would never choose him, especially once she realized the baggage he carried. No, he let himself feel this happiness, the first true happiness he had felt in a long time.

His mate. He had found his mate.

"You know tonight is my last night here," he said, taking a step toward her. "But, maybe we can have more nights together?"

She had been in the process of placing the book on a table, but her hand stopped as she heard his words. "What do you mean?"

Azriel bit his lip as nervousness filled his chest. "I mean I would like to take you to the Night Court. Just for a visit, of course." He smiled at her, feeling awkward for the first time in centuries. "So you can see all of the strange rituals we have there."

For a moment, Az thought she would decline. Her face paled slightly, and her lips tightened. But eventually, a beautiful smile bloomed across her face, like the sun rising at dawn.

"I would like that," she said cheerfully. "I haven't left Day in a while. Are you wanting to leave tonight?"

He thought his heart would beat out of his chest with happiness, but he forced his voice to remain steady. "We could, as long as you have everything in order here with the store."

She placed the book on the table and took his hands in hers. "I can talk to my roommates. They can keep eyes on the place while we're gone. I need a vacation, anyways."

Azriel laughed, the sound deep and joyous. He gestured a hand toward the door. "After you," he said. "I've been wanting to see what those wings look like in flight."

---

Her wings were the most beautiful things he had ever laid his eyes on. Even though it was dark, they shimmered under the moonlight, their color shifting to silver.

They laughed as they flew, and Az was surprised at how well she could keep up with him. She was able to follow his maneuvers expertly, dipping and rolling along with him. He made it a point to ask her who she was trained by later.

The River House was quiet when they landed. His shadows alerted him to the fact that Rhys, Feyre, Nyx, Ky, Nesta, and Cassian were all inside, having just finished dinner.

"It seems that everyone is here," he murmured to her, taking her hand in his as he walked up the steps. "This is your last chance to turn back."

She pulled her eyes away from her surroundings long enough to look at him. "After I flew all this way? I don't think so," she said with a giggle.

He pushed the door open, his hand still in hers. He led the way into the small sitting room, the air warm and smelling of citrus and jasmine. His family was all here, seated in chairs around the fire. His eyes roamed the room, looking for Ky, and he found him sleeping in a small basket next to the fire. Nyx was sleeping next to him, the small boy having placed his hand protectively over the babe.

Azriel felt his chest ease at the sight of his son, safe and warm. He wanted to run to him, but he needed to ease his mate into this.

"Az," Rhys greeted, standing up from his chair. "We were wondering if you would be back tonight." He walked toward them, a smile on his face, but that smile faltered a little when he saw the female next to his brother. "And who is this?"

She stepped forward, radiating confidence as she introduced herself. "I'm sorry for intruding on your evening, but Azriel offered to show me around the Night Court. I've always heard lovely things about it."

Azriel met Rhys's violet stare. A stranger in Velaris, Az? Rhys asked into his mind. You were only supposed to go on a routine mission.

Azriel decided it was best not to beat around the bush. She's my mate. She means no harm. She is kind. And nice. And I wanted her to meet all of you.

Rhys nodded slightly. He raised a brow. Everyone?

Azriel glanced over at Ky. Everyone, he responded.

Rhys must have communicated with Feyre, because she gracefully walked over to Ky, sweeping him gently up in her arms. She smiled affectionately at Nyx as she moved over to Azriel. "He's been sleeping well," she whispered. "And eating well. I swear he's gained ten pounds since you were gone."

Azriel could no longer deny his paternal instincts, so he quickly took Ky in his arms, savoring the warmth radiating from his small body. "Did you miss me, little one?" he murmured to him as his shadows swarmed the baby, searching for any sign of distress or harm.

Azriel turned, a smile on his face as he found his mate's face. He expected her to be curious, or shocked, at the sight of a baby in his arms.

But nothing could have prepared him for the look of raw pain on her face as she looked at Azriel and Ky. "Who is that." It wasn't a question. Her voice was hard and tight, and Az swore she was holding back tears.

"This is Ky," he said gently, worry and fear creeping in as he took in her expression. "My son."

She quickly tore her eyes away, searching around the room. They fell on Nyx, who was still sleeping soundly on the floor, and she stepped back as a gasp flew from her lips.

Azriel could sense the unease radiating off Rhys and Feyre, already preparing themselves to defend their family. Cassian and Nesta stood next to each other on the far side of the room, their backs straight, their eyes holding predatory intent.

It was only Azriel, who was still holding Ky, who forced himself to remain calm. "Would- would you like to hold him? He's quite small, but he's so warm and-"

"NO!" she screamed, her body trembling as she stepped backward toward the door. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she covered her face with her hands. "I can't. No. No. No."

Feyre quickly stepped forward, taking Ky out of Azriel's arms. Calm her down. Now, Azriel, she whispered into his mind, but it was the voice of the High Lady.

"Come on," he muttered to his mate, reaching for her arm to pull her outside. "Let's go outside." She didn't fight him as he hauled her through the door and down the steps. The night air was cold, but Azriel didn't feel it.

He could only feel pain, anger, rage, and a hurt like no other. What had he said or done to send her into this kind of panic? Was the thought of him being a father truly so horrible?

Once they were outside, she ripped herself out of his grasp. "I'm going home." Her voice was distant now, devoid of any emotion.

He moved to step in front of her, his eyes pleading. "Please. Let me explain all of this-"

She pushed him out of the way, her wings unfurling as she prepared to take flight. "You're a nice male, Azriel," she said. "I... like you. I do. But you should have told me about this. About him."

Azriel fought the urge to snarl at her tone when speaking about his son. "Is it really that bad that I'm a father?" Though he was angry, his voice came out broken.

She looked at him then, her eyes softening slightly. "No. It's the fact that you don't understand. You could never understand."

"Then tell me! Help me understand!"

She shook her head as she pushed off the ground, his wings catching the air, hauling her up. "Goodbye, Azriel."

Her voice carried on the wind as Azriel watched her take off into the night, taking a piece of his heart with her.

---

1 year later

"Come on, Ky. You can do it!" Azriel encouraged, his hands out to catch Ky. The Velaris sun was blinding, but Az kept his attention on his boy, not daring to miss the sight of him taking his first steps.

Ky was standing on small, wobbly knees, his tiny face scrunched up in determination. He took a small step forward, then another, and another-

"Gods! You're doing it, son!" Azriel exclaimed in happiness.

Ky took one more step before his tiny legs gave out, but Azriel was there to catch him, as he always would be. He swooped him up, pressing a kiss to his chubby cheek. "I'm glad to know you got that determination from me, at least," he said to Ky.

Ky gave him a toothy smile as he giggled, his attention already captured by Az's shadows as they swarmed him, seeming to offer their own form of praise.

In the last year, Azriel had heard nothing from Elain. He had heard from his spies that she and Lucien had welcomed their own child into the world, a little girl who Azriel had not bothered to learn the name of.

A year ago, he would have been heartbroken beyond repair at the thought of Elain choosing to start a family with another male, even though she already had a family here. But since then, Azriel had taken the time to heal, choosing to let go of any bitterness and anger.

Ky deserved better than having a father who was pissed off at the world, and Az had vowed to himself to be the best father the world had seen. He didn't know what a good father looked like, but he was learning, and he had Rhys and Cass and the rest of his family to help him.

There was one part of his healing that he was struggling with though- his mate. The female who had quite literally flown off into the night at the sight of Ky. Az had not heard from her since that night, so he never got an explanation as to why.

He tried not to hold it against her, hoping that, if they were meant to be together, things would work out in the end.

"Uncle Azriel!" Nyx's voice, though the boy was small, boomed across the lawn. "Want me to take Ky in for his nap?" Nyx was the best cousin to Ky, always making sure the boy was eating and sleeping properly.

Hell, sometimes he was even more on top of things than Azriel was.

"Sure," Azriel said, placing Ky in Nyx's arms. "He just took his first steps. He deserves to rest."

Nyx's eyes widened. "He took his first steps and I missed it?" He blew out a breath. "You should have called for me!"

Azriel chuckled as he ruffled Nyx's black hair. "Sorry, kid. At least you were there for his first word."

In fact, Nyx had been the first word Ky had said. Of course, it had sounded more like "Byx" than anything else, but Nyx had gloated about it for days afterward.

Azriel watched Nyx carry Ky into the house, smiling to himself. It was moments like this that he was thankful for his life. Things had gotten better, so much better. He had a family now, a place where he belonged. A son, a perfect boy who looked just like him-

His thoughts were cut short as he heard soft wing beats from above. Not Illyrian wings, he realized, but something softer, like feathers.

Azriel squinted into the sun, watching small shape grow closer and closer, until the small body of a female landed in front of him.

But it wasn't any female. It was his mate.

"Hello, Azriel," she said, her voice soft. Her face was full of nervousness, and she was biting her lip and wringing her hands. She tucked her wings in tight. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

For a moment, Azriel could only blink at her. She's here. She's really here.

"No. No. Of course not," he blurted out, taking a step toward her. His shadows swarmed her, just as they had when they first met. She smiled down at them, but the smile didn't meet her eyes. "Why are you here? Are you in danger?"

She shook her head, her hair falling around her shoulders. "No. I'm fine. Everything is fine." She went back to biting her lip again as she spoke. "I've been thinking... I think you deserve an explanation of what happened last year. I owe you that. The way I reacted was wrong, and I want to explain."

"You don't owe me anything," Az said, running a hand through his hair. "I should have told you about Ky. It was wrong of me to force him onto you like that."

She smiled again. "No. You did nothing wrong. I don't know your situation, but..." She took a step forward, craning her head up to look at him. "I would like to hear about it now if you want to tell me. I promise not to fly away again."

Despite himself, Azriel laughed. He angled his head over to a small table and chairs Feyre had set up on the east end of the house. "We can talk over there," he said. "Nobody will disturb us."

The two of them walked in silence, the soft wind rustling through the trees. Azriel was nervous, not knowing what to say to carry on an easy conversation. He could feel the unease radiating from his mate, so he decided it was best to keep his mouth shut.

“You go first,” she said once they had situated themselves in the chairs. “My story is… well- just go first, Az. Please.” Her voice trembled at the end of her sentence, her eyes watery.

Azriel reached a hand over and laid it atop her own, squeezing gently. He took a deep breath before letting the painful story spill from his lips. He told her of Elain and the short romance that had followed the War. He told her of Ky's birth and the disaster that had followed. He spoke to her of his feelings, the feelings that he had not spoken to anyone, not even his family.

By the end, silent tears were streaming down his face, and he sucked in a breath as she gently reached over and wiped them away, her face full of understanding.

"She just... left?" she asked, her voice full of something like wonder, as if she couldn't understand how a mother could do that to her child. "And you've been raising Ky on your own?"

Azriel nodded once. "Well, mostly on my own. My family has been helping me, but that hasn't made it easy."

She took a deep breath, her eyes on his face. "I am sorry that happened. I don't think I would have survived that, if I were in your position." She paused for a moment, biting her lip.

"You don't have to tell me your story, you know," Azriel said, his tone gentle. "Believe me, I understand that some things are... difficult to discuss."

"I was married once," she said abruptly, her eyes moving to look at the city. "We were so happy together, but we were only missing one thing. A child."

Azriel's heart stuttered inside his chest as she spoke. He forced his face to neutrality, not wanting the warring emotions inside his mind to scare her.

She continued on, her voice vacant, "We tried for years to get pregnant, but it wasn't easy for us. We had so many false positives, and each time it happened, I felt as if a piece of my heart broke. We finally gave up, so we were surprised when I got pregnant a few years later."

"We were happy, so happy... but I had a hard pregnancy. By the third month, I was already placed on strict bedrest, completely forbidden to leave my bed except to relieve myself or get food. The labor was even worse. It took two days for our babe to arrive, but the pain and suffering was worth it to hold him in my arms. To hear his little cries and to feel him wrap his tiny hand around my finger."

Azriel watched silently as her eyes filled with tears, but he was too shocked to move. He had a horrible pit in his stomach, afraid of where this story was going.

"My family lived in peace for a few years. We had such a quiet life, you see, filled with so much love and joy... I never thought of how fast it could all be ripped away..." The tears in her eyes spilled over, coating her cheeks. "There was a male in Day Court. He was a harsh man, but he had always liked me. He was the one who taught me how to fly. He was in love with me, so he got angry when I got married, and even angrier when I had a child. I never thought he would do anything, though. I was so wrong..."

"One night, we were sleeping in our home. The male broke in and pulled my husband and me out of bed. I was so shocked, I was unable to fight, unable to do anything as I watched him go to my son's bedroom. I couldn't do anything as I watched my husband try to fight him off, only to get killed in the process. I was helpless as I listened to my boy's cries grow louder and louder, only to be silenced as he was murdered... Because of me."

She started sobbing uncontrollably, and it was all Az could do to wrap her in his arms, trying his best to shield her from the horrors of her memories.

She was breathless as she continued on, her face pressed against Azriel's chest. "What kind of mother am I? I couldn't even protect my own child when he needed me the most. I couldn't face what I had done, so I ran after that, moving into the capital city. I didn't even bury my son. There's no place I can go to honor his memory... I tried to forget my prior life, not telling anyone what had happened. My roommates don't even know."

She pulled away from him, tipping her face to look up at his. "That's why I ran, why I couldn't look at my friend's child that night. It's too painful for me to see a child. I get bombarded with these memories, and all I can see is my son's face, screaming for me to help him."

She was silent after that, her voice broken. So Azriel held her, trying to find the words. But there were really no words to offer a grieving mother. There was nothing he could say to heal these wounds.

Finally, he asked, "What was his name? Your son?"

She froze for a moment, and Azriel worried he had asked the wrong question. But she said, "Alek was his name. He..." She shook her head. "That night when I saw you with Ky... He reminds me so much of my Alek."

Azriel released a breath. "Thank you for telling me. I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like," he said quietly. "But I need you to know- nothing could ever take away the love you gave Alek, or the love he had for you. You carry that love with you, and you hold onto it." He hesitated for a moment, moving his hand up to cup her face. "I'm here. For whatever you need- whether that's to talk, or to sit and grieve. Just know you're not alone anymore."

Despite her grave expression, she smiled. "Now you're starting to sound like my mate. I was wondering when the sweet talking would start."

Azriel gaped at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "You... you knew?"

She nodded. "The bond snapped for me before I flew off that night. I almost stayed, but I knew I needed time to heal before I could be the mate you deserved. So I left, and I've been working on my healing since then. I am better, but I still have hard days, so I understand if you need more time..."

Azriel cut her off with a quick kiss. "I still have hard days, too. But we can face them together. Nobody needs to deal with their problems alone. We can't let the hard days win."

She smiled, and he felt his chest warm as the life returned to her expression. "I would like that. Together," she agreed.

Azriel took a deep breath. "Would you like to see Ky? You don't have to if it will be difficult, but if you stay here..."

"I would love to," she said quietly, her eyes shining. "I'm alright. I want to meet your son."

Azriel led the way into the quiet River House, thankful that most of his family had left for the day. Once they got to Ky's room, he quietly pushed the door open, knowing he was sleeping.

"It's his nap time," he said. "It's probably best you meet him when he's not screaming his head off."

She smiled at Ky as she walked over to the crib, placing her hand on the rails. She looked up to Az, her face warm. "May I hold him?" Her voice was quiet and filled with awe.

Azriel nodded. "Of course you can, love."

Gently, she raised Ky out of the crib, cradling him to her chest. He didn't stir other than snuggling into her warmth, his small face innocent as he slept. "He looks like you," she said quietly, her eyes roaming Ky's face.

"Thank you," Azriel said proudly, a silly smile on his face.

She gasped softly as Ky wrapped his hand around his finger, his hand so small. He murmured contentedly as he slept, and Azriel realized Ky had never had this. Of course Feyre and Nesta had held him, but he had never had someone hold him with a motherly love.

Azriel's heart warmed at the sight, and he couldn't help himself as he walked over, and wrapped them tightly in his arms.

They stood there in the quiet, and Azriel swore he could hear the sounds of old wounds healing,

---

6 months later

"Where are we going, Az?" she asked, giggling as Azriel pulled her to the outskirts of the city. "There's nothing over here."

He looked back at her, offering her a wink. "That's what you think, angel."

The last six months had been filled with happiness, joy, and healing. They both had hard days, but they had been there for each other every time, honoring their promise to face it together.

Ky was growing faster than Azriel liked. He was walking and talking now, and he was even learning how to eat by himself. Just earlier this morning, Azriel had whined, complaining that his son would no longer need him soon.

She had slapped him gently on the arm. "That's what babies do, Az," she had said, kissing him gently on the cheek. "They grow, yes, but they will always need us."

She had become a mother to Ky, there was really no other way to put it. She would clean him and put him to bed, doing all the things that Azriel himself had struggled to manage with ease. A few weeks ago, Ky had called her "Mama", which caused her to cry with happiness and pain commingled.

The two of them were set to accept their mating bond next week, and Azriel couldn't be happier. They had learned so much about each other, and he had found himself falling more and more in love with this female each day. There was one thing he needed to do, though, which was why he was dragging her to this place.

On the outskirts of Velaris, there was an opening in the trees to a place where many people didn't go. At least, not those who had never experienced the loss of a loved one.

As they walked up the path, he could see the small stones poking out of the ground, their engravings holding the names of the people in the ground.

"Azriel," she said quietly, her hand tight in his, "why did you bring me to a cemetery?"

He smiled softly at her, leading her to a small stone, newer than the others, its engraving easy to read. "I wanted you to see this."

She looked at the stone, her eyes filling with tears as she read the words there.

Alek

"Forever Loved, Never Forgotten"

Though your time was brief, your light will shine in our hearts for all eternity.

In the embrace of the stars, you rest, but in our hearts, you live on.

Azriel watched her face as she read, worrying if he had chosen the right words to put on the headstone. Maybe he should have made it shorter? Was it too much?

He was pulled from his thoughts as she suddenly wrapped her arms around him, throwing her body against his. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said between sobs. "It's perfect, Az."

"I know his body isn't here, but you can come here whenever you like. To remember him," Azriel said as he held her, running his hands through her hair.

She pulled away then, her eyes bright with love. "I can't wait to be your mate," she said, smiling through the tears.

Azriel laughed, his heart full. The wounds of the past would always linger, like shadows that never fade. But with those you love by your side, even the deepest scars could begin to heal, and in their place, hope could grow.

general tag list: @quiet-loser @andreperez11 @lilah-asteria

@anarchiii @inkedinshadows @panther-girl-124

@scorpioriesling @olive-main @scarsandallaz

[writingoddess1125]

Birthday Gifts

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x FemReader +OOC

THIS IS A BitterSweet ONE

Previous Triplet Series <<<

⚠️WARNING:⚠️ Saddness, Spoilers, Character Death, Depression, PTSD, Child Birth.

I AM WARNING YOU! THIS IS BITTERSWEET AND IF YOU DONT WANT MW3 SPOILERS LEAVE!

Also if you complain about the Bday I found 3 different birthdays and just picked one- No judging.

You knew this mission would be a hard one for Simon, Leaving you for 3 months to do a final mission before taking his leave to be with you.

"I'll be back- I promise" He had whispered to you, before leaving. It was hard, you were fortunate you were still in the early stages of your pregnancy but it didn't make it easy. Comforting yourself during morning sickness, the ache that seemed to settle over your bones. You counted down the days for your husband's return, as your body swelled with your children.

"Simon?..." You whisper softly, he looked so... beat down in his poster. His hoodie drawn up over his hair and still in a face mask. Something was wrong- You could tell immediately by his body language and how drawn away he was from you-

However it was worth it- You knew he would be back.. He had to.

When you got the message from Price that they would be landing on base in a few hours, you jumped in joy. Getting a nice dinner set and dressing up nicely as you rushed to go pick up your husband. Getting in the old truck which Simon planned to trade in for something new you speed to the close by Marine Base to pick up your husband.

With a quick flash of your badge you waited in the parking lot, scrolling through your phone ready to show off different things you wanted to get the babies.

Hearing the passenger door open you beam ready to kiss and cuddle over your husband but pause. His movements were slow as he sat in the seat not even looking in your direction.

"...Johnny is Gone... we scattered his ashes" He said simply- and your heart shattered for him, understanding immediately what was wrong. Silence after that as you took Simon's hand in your own free one before starting the car and driving the two of you home in silence.

"Baby?" You say softly, the two of you sitting in silence for a moment before he gaze a uneasy sigh.

You had to pick up the peices that night, and the night after and for the next few days... Simon feeling guilt in his heart and regret- Swearing he could have done more, he could have saved him if only... crying in your arms and holding you close as he battled demons in himself.

You knew Simon had delt with the loss of comrades before but never like this.. He set so many regrets on his shoulders, mainly for not being enough.

It took time, but he did reveal why this hit him harder then before- Admitting his final conversation with the Sargent was about his birthday and wanting to knkw Simons. Simon dismissing him of course but Soap begging of course which made the man relent and tell him- Soap snagging his phone to save his birthday so his Lieutenant didn't forget it- It had been a conversation that had warmed his heart secretly making him feel like he was a child again and having made a friend in school.

Only for it to be ripped away days later..

While Simon kept up his normal kindness towards you, you saw the fence he had put back up in his emotions from you. You understood it would take time and eventually come down once again- It took a month for Simon to place his unease away for you, Which you didn't mind since it had been your turn to be a rock for him.

Now hitting your 32 week mark you got Simon back fully- him helping you out in terms of movements as he opened up slowly to you.

And in truth you needed it-

You were HUGE at this point. It was hard to move and the pain was increasing by the day.

Tonight was no exception either, You had been trying to get some rest for the past few hours but couldnt- It was only 11pm and Simon was asleep next to you, lucky bastard- There was pressure on your pelvis and you couldn't move, it having been 3 weeks too long since you could shift your own weight while lying down. Sighing you gently tap Simon away, His eyes opening immediately with instant clearness as he stared at you.

"Im sorry- I just.. I have to pee..and i havent been able to get up in 10 minutes" You said softly, Simon nodding without laughing which you were greatful for as he helped you up and began to help you waddle to the bathroom.

Mid step a gush of liquid rushed down you legs and you almost sobbed right there- Both you and Simon looking at each other and sighing.

"That wasn't pee was it?" He asked, almost hoping it was pee- sadly you shook your head no. Simon nodded and helped you to the toilet before going to get the newly purchased SUV set up. Loading up the bags and three carseats for you as you did your business changed and went to meet him to start the grand adventure to the hospital-

The next few hours were a joy- if hell was a playground.

They were getting you prepped for your C-section and so you'd sat there with Simon waiting as the cramps were eating you alive. You were way too early and they had planned to have your surgery in a few weeks, this however was a awful surprise.

You were leaned against Simon, they had warned him you'd be uncomforble for a while as the drugs worked through your system and they prepped you for surgery.

The doctors rushed in quickly, looking over your charts and the machines tooled up to you.

"We are getting you into surgery now- It seems like the labor was brought on due to your triplets being under high stress and your blood pressure has risen greatly" The doctor said as calmly and carefully as possible- Which did not make you feel calm at all! Simon clearly the same way as in a flash they carted you off. Your eyes as wide as saucers as you were lead into surgery- what could only be described as a tent being placed over your abdomen as they added more drugs to your IV making you feel dizzy.

"How are you holding up?" Simon asked, dressed in the hospital covers that he had rushed on by instruction of the nurses and holding your hand tightly as you stared at him loopy-

"I'm scared-" You whispered, Simon nodding at this in understanding as he kissed your hand. The doctors that surrounded your lower body and proceeded with the surgery, Simon felt his anxiety raise as the familiar scent of copper filled the air but he couldn't see anything. Holding your hand tightly as you both patiently waited-

"Alright, We have the first Baby" The doctor announced, there was a pause for a second before a shrill scream filled the air, a nurse walking around quickly to place the baby in the glass bassinet and began to clean her off. You and Simon watching in total awe at the screaming girl-

"Second on the way" The doctor said quickly, before a second scream happened. Tears running down your cheeks as the second nurse went to clean the baby out as well.

"They are beautiful" Simon mumbled softly as you softly cried, still loopy from the drugs but unable to tear your eyes away from the two screaming bodies.

"First girl is 2.1kg (4lb 11oz) and 40.5 cm (16in), Second Girl 2kg on the dot and 38 cm (15in)" The nurse called out.

2 Minutes after the stroke of midnight a the final baby was lifted from you. Clearly this one begins a bit of a struggle as it wasnt annouced but the cord was wrapped around them-

"Its a boy!" The doctor called out, but his body limp and pale. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you saw the doctors quickly turn away and begin to try and get air in the babies lungs.

Simon was sitting there pale and eyes glossed over, it was like when he first got home after Soap died like he could only see his death and nothing more. His hand holding yours in a iron grip as he didn't move an inch-

The loud cry Seeming to break the spell that hung over the room as the boy was quickly rushed into a bassinet to begin his check over and treatment. Simon taking a breath again as he looked at you, his eyes beginning to return to some way of normal it seemed as he reached a shaking hand over to clear the tears from your cheeks.

"For the boy, 1.8kg (4lb 1oz) and 38cm (15 in)" The nurse called out, The bassinet being brought to your side as you saw your three squirming babies scream out at the world. You sobbing silently and watch in awe, Simon kissing your cheek as he couldn't tear his eyes away either.

"We are going to stitch you up and send you to recovery, Dad wanna come with us?" The nurse asked, Simon looking at you and you nodded- already feeling the narcotics pulling you into a forced sleep.

"Okay.."

The next hour was truthfully a blur for both of you. The babies being carted in and out, you bring pumped up with more drugs and Simon in a daze that in one day he was a father to three children..

The nurses asking him questions and lead him away from you to the nursery area were he could hold his kids while you rested. Having him scrubbed down and in cleans as he was seated in the clean room to hold each of his children, Holding both girls as he marveled at them- they looked so much like you.. A perfect mix between the two and in his eyes the most beautiful girls in the world.

"What about feedin's?" Simon asked his exhaustion making his accent stronger, especially after noting the lack of baby bottles. The nurse giving a sympathetic smile to the new father.

"They are on a feeding tubes" She said softly and pointed to the machine one of many attached to the tiny newborns.

Simon sat there, holding the little boy finally. Sadness in his eyes as he stared at the tiny Lad, smaller then his sisters and having barely survived the hard birth as the nurses told him, the tiny tube that was taped on his face didnt help Simons thoughts either.

The girls were asleep in the glass bassinet on the other side of him, He sat there holding the boy who had just been laid in his arms and sighing softly... the flashes of his own father going through his mind as doubt ate at his soul, Tommy as well- How he would be as a father.. what it truly ment to be one.

Jumping from his thoughts his phone started to buzz, not wanting to wake the babies he pulled it out quickly and silenced it- Seeing it was a reminder for something... His eyes widening at the text.

'November 12th 01:07am 🧼 Birthday'

"Son of a Bitch" Simon said with a sad laugh, shaking his head as he remembered his comrade and the request of a birthday gift from the Lieutenant.

"Couldnt let me forget could you?.." Simon said softly, tears welling in his eyes as he stared back at his little boy and held him closer. "Happy Birthday to you then..."

♡ Hazel Grace Riley - November 11th 11:56pm

♡ Rose Ann Riley - November 11th 11:59pm

♡ John 'Johnny' Scott Riley - November 12th 12:01am

[diamondnokouzai]

so heres my zhaozhao list

her bad poetry im sorry wu meiniang but maybe you should leave the verses to the scholars you can just handle the versus

mount pussy come on. pretty classic.

said she was descended from the mom of the guy who her husbands said THEY were descended from so house li of tang (taizong & gaozong) claimed to be descended from laozi. founder of daoism (THE religion in china at the time). and wu jiejie said "awww thats so sweet :) im descended from laozi's mom. btw. who had no parents. and laozi didnt have a dad either. sooooooooooooo"

everything about the feng/shan rites how she shouldered her way into the first one. how it was her idea. how she kept doing it. mwah.

the wu family dysfunction no one is tormenting children and stepchildren and nieces and nephews and grandchildren and stepgrandchildren and stepnieces and stepnephews quite like her (note: this includes the li xians, everything wrong with ruizong, the marriages for her stepdaughters, and all the kids she birthed and later killed)

slut gate incident so in chinese palaces the north gate was for consorts. one time wu jiejies boytoy came in through the wrong gate and got into a snit with an official who wu jiejie liked. so she told her boytoy to come through the slut gate.

single best reply to hate mail so there were a bunch of rebellions that wu jiejie quelled. and this one dude wrote this righteous pamphlet about why the whole kingdom should rebel against wu jiejie. and wu jiejie was like "HOW THE HELL COME WE HAVEN'T HIRED THIS DUDE YET?"

horse speech so the first time wu jiejie talked to her husband emperor taizong (like, 40 years older than her, she was ~13) her hubby was like "and do any of my idiot wives know how to tame a horse?" [being sarcastic bc taizong was a misogynist bc it was 7th century china] and wu jiejie was like "first i whip it with a whip. then i brain it with an iron hammer. then i slit its throat with a silver knife." and taizong was like "noted noted! take five steps away from me please"

danganronpa execution of empress yang and pure consort xiao kinda dark. the action movie oneliner doesnt help

seized the throne from two of her kids first kid was like "arent i the emperor? id give the kingdom to my father-in-law and you fucks couldnt do shitfuck about it" and she was like "but your mom can :)" second kid was just kind of a loser who only disagreed with his mom once ever and luckily won.

moving the capital because she was so scared of ghosts & cats maybe you shouldnt have killed those two chicks so violently. and then never expressed any regrets about killing those two chicks so violently.

sharing a boytoy with her daughter this is the healthiest family relationship wu zetian was ever involved in

married her stepson, made a sex pun on their first meeting so remember wu jiejie was like 13 when she married taizong. her stepson (gaozong) was 9 at the time of the wedding. and also the sex pun came about because gaozong accidentally pissed on his future wife a little bit. chinese history is fun.

granny sex so much granny sex but wu jiejie too much granny sex makes the people discontent. seriously if you'd given your boytoys like, three fewer personal buildings apiece everyone wouldve been happy

shangguan wan'er so wu jiejie murdered wan'er's granddad. and gave wan'er a scar. and never apologized. but did call wan'er her favorite poet at court! #feminismwin #womensupportingwomen

escaping the buddhist temple so after taizong died wu jiejie was supposed to live out the rest of her existence in a shitty buddhist monastery with a shaved head. she did not. she didnt even shave her head if legends are to be believed. she didnt doubt herself for a minute.

pretended a new mountain showed up one day as a felicitous signal from the heavens self-explanatory

sentenced a sect of heterodox/lesbian orgy having/food orgy having buddhist nuns to death self-explanatory

was bffs with some old dude who had a bunch of supernatural court drama stories written about him seriously she loved di gongjue. like i think this was her latent daddy issues coming out honestly.

had passive aggressive lunches with her shittiest kid after said kid finally dethroned her until she died six months after losing the throne so honestly im using my imagination for this one. imagine. your mom has dethroned you once, and you never disagreed with her ever in your whole life because your mom is kind of mean and definitely killed your big brother. and then the first time you disagree with her you were 110% actually trying to back out of it but you got tricked into rebelling against your mommy (at age, like, 40) and then you kicked her out of the palace but kept having lunch with her. and also your wife is basically your mom and keeps telling you what to do. and youre still having lunch with your definitely abusive mom. hoo boy.

so yeah thats basically my top twenty wu-jiejie moments click like and dont forget to hit subscribe and the bell notification icon to get more of my medieval china thoughts

[gibbearish]

this version of this post has been popping off recently which makes me really happy bc of how many people are learning they might have this disorder and it can be treated, however it is also a slight bummer because this version has a lot more info on how you can treat it yourself as well. so with that, i am once again requesting assistance, pls spread this version too if you can !! it really is helping people, ive been going through the notes today to direct ppl to that version and idk it just. makes me Feel Things knowing the good that's come of this? and wanted to share a few so ppl would know like. look what we did!! look at the people we helped!!!

(once again throwing the alt under readmore)

image id: screenshots of 11 sets of tumblr tags.

the first reads "#hold the FUCKING phone youre telling me im not the only one who couldnt fit a tampon in??? #man i had several people insist to me i was just doing it wrong #i knew i wasnt #dude if i had known this years ago i know what the first thing i bought with my first paycheck would have been i stg".

the second reads "#This is literally so important. #13 year old me needed this post so badly so please let the minors see it. #it is important to know about these kinds of things early on #it is important for children to know that their pain is abnormal so that it doesn't worsen. #i didn't know i had vaginismus until i was an adult #all i knew as a kid in a religious family was that I couldn't put a tampon in without excrutiating pain #and that i was one day going to be expected to "please" my husband #which was terrifying #for an extremely long time i had a phobia of sex and birth #still kind of do at the age of 26 #and it could have been prevented had i been allowed to know about ny body as a child".

the third reads "#Sex ed #i'm actually crying #Because i didnt know other people dealt with this. i thought it was just a 'oh poor little insecure 'virgin' '''girl''' thing #i can only fit one brand of tampon in. #this is probably way too personal but i feel seen because of this post so #i mean i knew about the dilators and therapy because of my close friend but i didnt know there was a name for this."

the fourth reads "#..... #today i learned i might have vaginismus #this is the second Nickle where tumblr taught me things about myself where it's not normal #tampons aren't supposed to hurt??? insane #no wonder i felt off about vaginal penetration but i thought that was the ace in me #still is about the ace in me but it's another thing too".

the fifth reads "#no yeah this is incredibly important #like. i started crying reading this #tmi obvi given the subject matter #but like. im ace! and i had just. given up on experiencing anything with that #because im ace and i can easily 'live without it' #the idea of it never being enjoyable and always being painful even tho im emotionally neutral on the act itself like #i thought 'well. that sucks but its fine cuz its not like i crave it. im ace. i don't need it' #when like. i CAN do it it doesnt HAVE to hurt theres things that can be done and it doesnt have to be scary and awful!!!! #i knew about the dilators for the longest time. they intimidated me out of getting help because #i just didnt think i could force myself through that regularly until it 'got better' #but i can use wearable toys!!!! it doesnt have to be awkward and stiff!!!!!!! i can get help and DO something about it oh my god #i finally stopped crying but oh my god".

the sixth reads "#resource #reference #wait wait wait #this is. a THING???? #i dont use tampons because its so painful to take them our!!! #and the only ones i can get IN are the smallest size #and it takes FOREVER because its SUPER uncomfortable #youre telling me this is an actual thing and i could treat it #????????".

the seventh reads "#oh? 👁️👄👁️ #today i learned i might have... vaginismus... #thank you for making this post and sharing it 🙏 #penetration even with smaller objects has always been painful for me and i never knew why 🥲 #tmi".

the eighth reads "#SAVE #SCREAMS #on main bc its medical this is important shit".

the ninth reads "#long post #holy shit i may have to research this #would explain some things #vaginismus".

the tenth reads "#i wish id know this when i was younger #i grew up in a very religious household where purity culture was very strict #sex literally became traumatizing cuz it hurt so bad #i'm almost 30 now and working throufh that trauma and the pain of something i left untreated for a decade".

the last one reads "#OH MY GOD #THANK YOU #ARE YOU SHITTING ME #ive NEVER been able to put a tampon in and the one time i got one half-in hurt like hell #NO ONE EVER FUCKING TOLD ME THIS WAS A THING I THOUGHT I WAS JUST DOING IT QRONG #im actually crying oh my god #brb im gonna do some research #GOD FUCK #THANK YOU OP AND CONTRIBUTORS #save #save for later #important #vaginismus #sex ed". end description.

got a good grade in physical therapy because i ordered a sex toy life is fun

[pandrewlin]

Just sum no context/might give context writing that ive done for my fav and current save in rimworld.

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"You are a waste of her gift" Anya snorts and intentionally pressses one of his wounds harshly.

○Wade○

"I am trying my best ya know, with only my hands and no weapon or armor. You were rushing me to pack up to find this stupid weapon and i couldn't even find my own."

○Anya○

"Still to end up having to soil your pants and stripped by the enemy is entirely too much. Then you couldnt even win and ended up having to be saved."

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Wade gets into yet another fit of anger after trying to conversate with Kurthos and turns to Anya and says

"Anyania where'd you meet this guy? This twerp keeps speaking as if you picked him up at a mental hospital!??"

And Anya just calmly responds back in full seriousness

"How'd you guess? He was such a cutie that i couldnt pass him up!"

(Anyania is Anya's full birth name and she hates it but allows only her uncle to call her it. Kurthos knows better to not use the name and all the help and servents know better to not try to piss Anya off or else their head will be on the stakes outside)

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"Shes gonna leave with our maid if we dont do something about that" Kurthos twidles his fingers nervously.

"And do what you nimwit, we told her the walls would keep her safe and she went out to pick fucking berries! As if she doesnt eat half the food she cooks and more if she thinks nobody sees her!" Wade cannot believe what he is hearing. Especially when he already knows that the one who will have to do 'something' will be him.

"I dont want to have to clean those big rooms myself. They wouldnt listen to me when i told them to stay still and clean after themselves earlier. The walls laughed in my face." Kurthos frowns slightly

"Honey could you be a dear and tell them to stay clean. They listen to you rather better."

"Of course my love. Though I'd rather just find some other forsaken person out past the hills to come clean up the premises for us."

15 of Septober

Rangly dirty middle aged man falls down from the sky. Wade runs to try to catch him but forgets we built a thick high wall and then proceeds to try to climb it to get to before said dirty middle aged man.

Im sure that my goddess only blessed him because of his blood and not his brains. Even though he doesnt fully believe in her yet but soon he will.

Anyway when Wade got to the dude I realized he had brought the midtech medpacks with him and although I probably should've stopped him, I just let him since we did just get a full stack of glitter medpacks last week.

Nvm we should throw Wade out of the walls and let the raiders have him. HE PUT THAT DIRTY OLD MAN IN MY BRAND NEW BED AND WHEN I TRIED TO TAKE HIM OUT AND PUT HIM SOMETHWHERE ELSE HE CRIED AND SAID "OH NO HE'S INJURED." Oh how i wish the goddess would just leave him for dead next time!

The dirty man has woken up and has since been in a frenzy talking about how his daughter is some baroness in the empire and she is waiting for him. Yadda yaddo doo if you ask me. I wanted to keep him as our new maid/butler but my dear husband also agrees with my uncle and says we should let him return since he has family. :(

I cant deny my sweet darling though so Wade wins this time and ONLY this time.

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12th of Decembary

Update the stinky man died:)

I might've closed and locked the bedroom that we put him in.🤷🏽‍♀️ Wade has the keys though. He could've opened it but apparently his nice charity act leaves once one of his research projects takes up his time again.

13th of Decembary

Our gardener died:(. Now Kurthos has to plant and harvest all by himself. He is happy to pick up the work though so maybe its for the best.

14th of Decembary

We manged to hire 2 new servants. A doctor and a crafter/miner. I will have the crafter start making up some statues as i want to decorate the place. Also the new house has been built and floored. I am working on setting up some lights in the hallways and rooms as sleeping in the dark is never good.

The very first thing our crafter does when he gets here is apparently flirt with our doctor.

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4th of Aprimay

Some feral child is wandering near the northern walls. Looks saurid and probably about to enter preteen age by the looks of it. Kurthos wants to go out and convince him to stay because in his head "then our child can have a play date to grow up with". Im not totally against the idea but he seems a little old and I've known saurids to be aggressive.

6th of Aprimay

A muffalo hit one of the same damn traps that Wade hit earlier. Lucky that we have that mj girl she has a god's touch for repairing skin and bones. Throw some glitterworld medicine and she could heal the dead probably. Unfortunately the muffalo died before she got there but thats okay we have a few left.

9th of Aprimay

Wade has been mostly out of commision since the trap incident due to his injuries and an infection. But he apparently managed to use his hurt and frail body to woo our doctor, MJ. I have pulled her aside to let her know that even though she works for us and theres a bit of a power gap, that if she's being forced to like him then i could slip her some money and a pack animal to run away with.

She kindly smiled at me and just said that he is interesting and his love for cooking wowed her. Huh guess he's got sum charm then ig. Dont know if they're gonna stay together but if they are serious then we can convert our old bedroom turned hospital room into a couple room again.

Got the lights working in the new house too. Adding a few in the dining room just to make sure it stays lit. Tried to set some up in the old house but the power grid over there collapsed because the batteries kept breaking.

10 of Aprimay

Its 2 in the morning and someone is chatting over the intercom about needing a place to stay for 6 days. Got a group of 4, leader named Kisaki, old caravan robbing and nothing and nowehere to go.

Wade is on his charity behaviour again and says we should take them and for once.....i agree. We need some new hands around here because the whole MJ/Wade situation has me making a plan to turn the old house into a boarding house so then any new servants dont have such awful rooms and can have a little luxury.

Forgot to get them some rooms before they got over here but thats the wonderful part! They'll be making them!

I asked them about their skills and needs and adjusted them to job work accordingly.

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1st of Jugust

Been a while since ive written. The refugee group of servants has left now and this is all they've done since they got here-

Move most of the rocks to the new place for a possible stone workshop.

A series of 3 bedrooms were made. They will be converted into guest bedrooms.

Mined most of the unnecessary rock forces away.

Also huilt the second entrance to the outside but its mainly just for raiders

3rd of Jugust

Wade and Mj have recently announced that they are engaged. Wade is going around smirking and smiling, i hope MJ rethinks this. Glad to know divorce isnt a sin to our goddess. Also i have recently noticed neither are formally members of our religion so i have tooken it upon myself to change that.

I have told her now that since the relationship has progressed so far, she is no longer a servant but she still has to listen to me as i am the master of this house and field. Kurthos is happy to build another double bed for the couple.

6th of Jugust

My pregnancy is nearing the end now. I can feel it. My stomach is wide enough where opening doors takes longer and walking outside the walls takes half the day because of limited speed. Kurthos asks that i stay near the house and chill for the upcoming days and at this point im eager to listen to my dear. My days are filled with walks and looking at fish and playing horseshoes.

Oh however MJ stepped over a trap earlier and although we tried to save her life at first, she died. The goddess has accepted her although MJ hasnt though so she isnt dead dead. She will get used to the feeling of death being further.

9th of Jugust

I have been feeling like I've forgotten something over these passing days and i finnally remembered this morning. There was a boy that i wanted to recruit outside the walls but i forgot with all the other stuff that was happening in the walls. I was curious if he died or finally passed the area and i found my answer when wade came back after searching the near grounds. The poor boy apparently got too cold during the spring and had no where to go so he slowly froze and died. He wouldve loved this heat wave we are recently having.

Speaking of heat wave I've had Kurthos be a dear and set up some passive coolers for some rooms around the house even though he swears its not that hot. Apparetly only me and MJ are feeling the sweltering heat as all the men(even Leikvoid!) have sworn that its normal heat outside. How odd.

10th of Jugust

My wife is in no condition to continue writing for right now so she asked me to finish it. The baby was born healthy and oh so cutely. Named him Michelangelo. He's a cutie patootie.

[greeneywa]

Heyyy lovely human this is a fanfiction on sasuke its an sasuke x oc fiction and i hope you'll enjoy it also english is not my first language so sorry for the fault (im french)

Have fun😁😁😁

Warnings: mention of suicide, cheating,betrayal,panic attack uchiha massacre boruto spoilers and hypotetical following of the current arc,boruto era

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Wasted life chapter one

Sakura...Sakura Haruno..ready to do anything to get her precious uchiha boy to love her anything..even murder...or trying to murder...

It was a calm morning in konoha everyone was with their family and loved one..The nanadaime hokage Uzumaki Naruto was home with his loving wife and his beloved children spending a chill morning in their living room next to Neji's picture on the Tv stand was the picture of a 17 years old girl with dark skin, deep black hair style in a bun and rinnegan in both of her eyes smiling with one arm around naruto's shoulders while he had one around her waist in a friendly way his other arm was holding hinata's hand while she was smiling with them that girl..was the last living uchiha female..

Uchiha Ahmya

She was shisui's little sister born from a mistake shisui's father made by conceiving her with an uzumaki named himari,she was a janitor at the police station.Having your husband cheating on you is one thing but having the kid born from that mistake under your roof is another thing..so shisui's mother killed herself two month after ahmya's birth himari did not handle the situation and end up deserting konoha lefting her daugther behind...

So ahmya grow up with shisui's mom death on her mind and grow up with sasuke,they were really close and were always seen together since her father never get over his wife death he couldnt take care of ahmya and since shisui was really busy at that time being an anbu she would spend days at sasuke's place she even got her own toothbrush in their bathroom,her own seat at the kitchen table, have some of her chooses in their genkan.Mikoto and fugaku were aware of how she get into the world but they never blamed her for her father's mistake neither did shisui who was a loving big brother.

When shisui die ahmya move in sasuke's home and became a part of the family she even called fugaku and mikoto "mom and dad" at least even tho it was hard to get over her big bro's death she was happy to live with sasuke cause nobody was bullying her anymore cause nobody want to mess with the uchiha leader's daugther

People use to bully and avoid her because of she was born with rinnegan eyes the mix of uzumaki and uchiha made her have both of ashura's and indra's chakra so she obtain the rikudo's eyes:rinnegan but people were still scared even Danzo was aware of the birth of a child with rinnegan and it made him more eager to end the uchiha.

After itachi killed the whole clan sasuke and her were stuck together always together they even move in together...when sasuke leave the village to join orochimaru he kissed her on the side of her head..a promise that he will come back..

Years and years later during the 4th ninja war they were figthing together..ahmya was seriously injured and disapear from sasuke 's eyes for a while after kaguya got sealed sakura suddenly came out of nowhere and claim that ahmya was dead sasuke was shattered...completly shattered sakura was chill about it naruto and the others were also hurt especially kurenai who was her third mother,tsunade who made her the youngest doctor the awoke byakugou

Naruto, her brother from the heart, hinata and ino her besties for life,shikamaru her eternal shoji partner, temari her partner in crime, shino her dear friend she make him confident about himself and gain selflove,choji her best buddy to go eat with, kiba her playing mate, Neji her best partner to go on mission with,rock lee and Gai sensei who teach her how to be Youthful like a lotus flower, Tenten who teach many tricks about ninja weapons , Asuma sensei who gave her the habit of smoking and teach how to use her wind chakra nature,kakashi sensei who read with her and go buy the new edition of icha icha paradise ...All of them were missing her but no one saw her body and sakura been quiet about it and never want to answer..

Everyone know what happend after that..everyone try to get over it and get married but everyone knows that sakura have always hate ahmya and they dont believe her but they say nothing thinking that they will found out the truth one day Sai and the other men were still investigating about ahmya's "death"

Sakura is happy she marry the man of her dream and had a 13years-old chunin teen daugther but little she knows that karma is a bitch...

This chapter was an introduction the actual story will start in chapter 2 and ill go into details about her relationship with each of them in it thank you for reeading it .❤❤❤

[expired-blueberries]

wrt that post- in it you brought up the point that OS Kevin 11k was the point he was farthest gone, and I LOVE that, but thinking about what he must've gone through to get to that point... oh, god. (this isn't like an entire point or anything lmfao i just had to bring it up bc it drives me insane)

anyway, knowing what we know/assume of kevins life, assuming that his "parents" are rooters... it honestly brings to mind the question of if he would even WANT to reconnect with his birth family... like, especially however long hes been gone from them (in my mind, him being gone from them for even longer would be good because it would erase any prior memories he has of them, like, say, if he was taken as a baby, then of course he would know hes had his powers since he was a baby but wouldnt know what his birth parents look like), that would be sure to make it hard to go back, for a multitude of reasons. they couldve moved, something couldve happened to him since he was gone... or, the one i think he would be MOST afraid of... they arent good people. sure, they arent rooters, but what if theyre bad people? what if by reconnecting with them he would just be jumping back into the fire? offering himself up as the proverbial golden goose? a sheep to the wolves? even if, say, he has GOOD memories of them, has only been apart from them for a few years, i almost venture to think he might be wary to reconnect just because his trust in, well... EVERYTHING would be completely shattered. of course, that could also be the REASON he would want to reconnect, since if he remembers them being good people then he would be desperate to surround himself with them, surround himself with whats REAL. but either way, i think the fear would be there. i think he would think he has to do it alone, while simultaneously needing someone to be there with him. (i think it would have to be ben - gwen is a great girl to bring home to your parents, but she isnt the most reassuring person in the world one on one. she would probably ring the doorbell before he even had a chance to collect his nerves).

as for kevins mom... while great that kevin could at least unlock her memories with ease and not have to worry about her believing him or having to convince her... for her, specifically, what a fuckin hellacious thing to deal with. like, she GRIEVED HER HUSBAND, she MARRIED A PIECE OF SHIT GUY (and ill ignore every wog statement saying that she got with him before devin died idgaf lol) AFTER HE DIED, her SON got RUN OUT OF HIS HOME BY HIM (and also maybe her, maybe,)... and it was all for what? so that her son could be tortured, used, abused, treated more like cattle than human. though it wasnt something, im sure, she could have prevented, being only human and without knowledge of those plans or access to any tech which could prevent it from happening, i feel like she would HAVE to blame herself. its not her fault, but what emotions would she even have left? 17 years of life down the gutter, and all she was was a forgettable rook on the board. even if she doesnt blame herself, just the fact that she would have to come to terms with her life being so severely and majorly fucked with... if she finds herself turning to a vice or twenty, though i would worry for her, i certainly couldnt blame her for it. and, too, if harvey were a rooter and she werent, learning that she MARRIED one of her sons tormentors.... woof. get the woman a drink.

(max's history with his partners is so insane to me in a good way. he has an AWFUL track record with partners. phil, victor, devin.... phil, it seems he either wasnt aware of being a piece of shit back when they originally worked together or it wasnt as bad and maybe max even worked with him in the bullshit a few times, because, frankly, max isnt an angel as we well know, and though i hate to say he would do something awful... well, he was more-or-less an absent father to his own children and seemingly wilfully stayed away from helping his dead partners son, so the shoe might fit. and while max might have grown as a person somewhat after the plumbers disbanded, the bar was pretty low. and then, you have victor, who... stole the nanochips. not the worst offense i guess (ignoring the catastrophe that couldve been unleashed on the world and even universe had the swarm grown more), but max did personally train him, so, uh..... and then devin, who didnt do anything wrong but also died in the line of action. seems like if you want to survive as a plumber, your best bet is to do things wrong - and, if i may be so bold, i would venture thats the truth. remember the boot camp uaf episode, where ben was awarded a medal and good grades for constantly ignoring the rules and his instructor? compare that to his partner/friend, tack, who nearly had his arm taken off by a bomb if ben hadnt saved him? if you want to be good and be a plumber, i guess you wont live long. this topic kind of went off on a splinter route for me lmfao but original point: max is fucking awful at keeping partners lmfao mr. commitment-phobic over here. i cant remember if it was said whether he trained driscoll or not, too, but damn... can you imagine lmfao)

back to the original point of the convo... well, at least one that we mentioned in the original point; i feel especially that argit's going back to the general street rat way he was, in color of monkey and also in the future when hes a corrupt politician... i dont know, it seems like they dont know how to write neutral-leaning-good characters. either theyre good or theyre bad. by the time argit was the president of the world (still a weird choice in my eyes but whatever), he should have fully been comfortable with being good and kind and all that stuff. he even knows kenny well enough for kenny to call him UNCLE ARGIT and give him a hug when they see each other!!! hes close to the tennysons!!! its just... weird choices. if ben doesnt like argit, which it seems he doesnt in the future, why does argit know his kid? what?

"We don't even know how much of Kevin over the course of UAF and OV is actually Kevin" - damn thats fucking chilling. who IS kevin when he isnt being manipulated and puppeted around? who IS kevin when hes free to be himself, all the good, all the bad, all the undeniably HIM that he wants to be? i dont think cannon or wog would ever say that kevin wasnt his authentic self (as much as he could be) during the series, because that would just leave too much unanswered and then they would have to spend time on him and not on ben, the main character of the ben show, but god... can you imagine? at the start of ov, he left bellwood. by the end of ov, i can see him leaving friedkin, just so he can really go and find himself. for a while, being around ANY tennyson might create some complicated feelings for him. but no! we dont see it! we dont see any lingering effects! kevin is still kevin, just kevin who is, i guess, free of brainwashing! dont think about how he still becomes 11k! dont think about how even after all of this, this STILL isnt the end of the bullshit for him! dont think about how kevin is, without a doubt, the most favoritest and specialest little punching bag wog has!! dont!!!

Annoying thing with the Rooters arc is that we never do find out what the fuck the Rooters had planned in the long run. Because the first-and-foremost matter is destroying Ben, yes, but Servantis may as well be holding up a big glowing neon sign saying "this is step three in a greater, larger plan". He grabs Kevin in the first episode of the arc and is talking about using him to make more amalgams, when discussing Kevin seemingly coming back into the fold he describes him as 'coming along nicely' like this is just a step in his training, when he sends the kids out after him in the flashback he refers to the Rooters 'subtle manipulations' and how Ben can't fuck them up, he's literally forming a group of hybrid child soldiers as if he couldn't just snipe the fucking 10-yo as he walks out of his elementary school, or fucking recruit him like the Plumbers already end up doing.

This is not shit you get from someone whose entire deal is 'this one child is too dangerous to live'! You don't see 'child has superweapon' and go 'well then I'll have to transform myself, my staff, and a host of children into hybrids through painful experiments and then train and damn near mindcontrol the children into going and killing the kid'. You don't talk about plans for making more, you don't talk like when the chips are down the big problem is the kid might get in your way, or like the kids you've sent out to kill him are still in training.

These fuckers had Intentions and Plots and they got completely dismantled before we could get an actual answer on what they were longterm.

[brelione]

Marvel Movies (Rafe,Topper,Kelce X Reader)

This takes place about a month after this.

Mentions of choking,fighting,Captain America Spoilers,Kelce being a Disney Hoe

Series Masterlist

You could hear the sound of “Lost In The Woods” from frozen two along with the sound of a car door shutting.You grinned,looking outside your window to see Kelce walking up to your front door.He had been obsessed with the sound track since you,Rafe,Topper and him had watched it last weekend.He swung open your door,pointing at you. “DONT YOU KNOW THERES PART OF ME THAT LONGS TO GO INTO THE UNKNOWN!”He sang,swinging his arms to the tune of the song that was now playing from his earbuds.

You smiled,taking out your phone to record him. “Kel,what are you singing?”You giggled,zooming in on his face. “Bitch,you already know!!!”He said it to the same tune,making you bite your lip to hold back a snort as you saved the video to your snap chat memories.He sat down nexto to you on the couch,pulling out his earbuds. “Rafe and Top are late?”He asked.You shrugged,checking the groupchat to check what time Rafe had left his house. “Kind of but like its fine.Its my night anyways.”You reminded him.Kelce nodded,pulling his legs onto the couch and resting them across your lap. “What are we watching?”He asked,looking up to see nickelodeon on the TV.

You smiled,telling him it was a surprise before throwing his legs off you and going into the kitchen to snack prep.He followed you,not wanting to watch nickelodeon. “Hey,do you remember those brownies we ate when we were little?Like the ones with the colorful chocolate things?”You asked,opening a bag of doritos and pouring the chips into a large bowl.His eyebrows furrowed as he thought about it,grabbing a capri sun from your fridge. “Debby Ryan brownies?”He asked.You turned to look at him,the empty chip bag in your hand. “Do you know who Debby Ryan is?”You asked,laughing at him.

The realization hit him,making him laugh too. “The girl from tik tok!The meme one!”He answered.You nodded,throwing the empty red bag away.You grabbed the bag of sharable m and m’s,pouring the colorful candies into a bowl as well before bringing them both into the living room and setting them down on the table.He somehow ended up laying down half on top of you,the back of his head resting on your stomach.You didnt even hear Rafe pull up,the door opening with him standing with a paper bag in his hand.You missed the way his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at the sight of Kelce laying on you,he quickly covered it with a smile.

Topper was right behind him,you turned your head to look at the blonde.You immediately burst into laughter upon seeing the pink,purple,yellow and green striped shirt he was wearing. “That’s gotta be the ugliest shirt ive ever seen.”You grinned,running your hand over Kelce’s curly hair.He rolled his eyes,sitting on the floor while Rafe put the paper bag down on the table next to the M and M’s,pulling out the contents.Sour gummy worms,dark chocolate chips,werthers caramels and a can of your favorite soda.He held the can,sitting at the end of the couch by your head so you could rest your head on his lap.He held the cool can to your forehead,knowing that you liked the feeling of the coolness.

You removed your hand from Kelce’s hair,putting on Disney Plus. “OOH-are we watching Winnie the Pooh?”Topper asked.You laughed,shaking your head as you went down to the row of Marvel Movies.Rafe had only ever seen Iron Man 2 so he wasnt very familiar with the films.Kelce preferred DC and Topper just sucked.You eventually came to The First Avenger,pressing on it.You squealed as the movie started,excited to annoy your friends.

 “I have a husband in this one too.”You smiled,remembering your huge Bucky phase in sixth grade that Rafe couldnt quite understand.He had only seen your Winter Soldier hoodie so he didnt really have a good idea of who Bucky actually was besides the fact that you loved 

him.During the scene where Steve received the Serum Topper had sat up,glancing between Steve and Rafe. “Am I the only one that sees a resemblance?”He asked.You sat up slightly,Kelce moving off of you so you could turn and look at Rafe properly.

He blushed,turning his head and looking away so you had to cup his face and get him to look at you.He bit his lip slightly,looking down at you.Topper rolled his eyes,regretting bringing it up in the first place. “Steve is more handsome.”You grinned,returning to your place on his lap.Kelce broke into laughter along with Topper,Rafe just a red mess as you continued watching the TV. “Isnt Spencer your husband?And 10K?”Kelce asked.You nodded,still watching the movie. “I thought Spencer was the love of your life?”He waited for your answer.You rolled your eyes. “I can have multiple loves of my life.”You answered,still watching the movie. “Can you pause this?”Topper asked,looking up at you from the floor.

You paused it,a bit annoyed. “What?”You asked.He opened a bag of sour gummy worms,popping one in his mouth. “How many husbands do you have?”He asked.You bit the inside of your cheek,thinking about it.Spencer Reid,Newt,Draco,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost,Peter Pan,Zuko,Prince Eric,Kristoff,Aladdin,T’Challa,Killmonger,Dallas Winston. “Uh...16.”You answered.Rafe laughed,fingers brushing against his chin as Kelce just looked up at you with wide eyes. “Who?”He asked.You blushed,counting off on your fingers. “Spencer,Newt-”Topper interrupted you. “Who is Newt?”He asked.You glared at him. “Do you not pay attention on Movie Nights?Eight months ago we watched The Maze Runner,the handsome blonde boy with the british accent.”You explained.He tried not to laugh at your passion for the topic.

 “Draco Malfoy,Percy Jackson,Jack Frost-”You were interrupted again,this time by Kelce. “The animated dude?The albino one?”He asked.You sighed,nodding.Rafe’s eyebrows knit together,frowning down at you. “You have a crush on an animated albino?”He asked.You sat up,looking between the boys. “You’re gonna tell me hes not cute as hell?Dont even act like you’re not a simp for Meg,Rafe.You too,Kelce,I saw the way you looked at Elsa when she let her hair down!”You reminded the boy.Topper laughed,forgetting that you knew all his secrets. “Dude,you were in love with Ariel when you were 10!”You exclaimed,making the boy shut up. “Who else?”Rafe asked,still curious. “Um...Peter Pan,Zuko-”You were cut off once again. 

“Birth mark dude from Avatar?”Rafe asked.You huffed loudly,stealing the bag of gummies from Topper and eating one. “ITS A BURN!”You nearly shouted. “You have such terrible taste in men.”Topper rolled his eyes.You glared at him,biting hard on your lip. “Get out.”You told him.He bit back a smile,looking up at you. “What?”He laughed.You pouted. “Go stand in the rain for two minutes.”You told him.He shook his head until you got off the couch,grabbing his hand and dragging him to the door. “You’re being mean so you have to stand in the rain.”You told him,opening the door.

He blushed,stepping outside and into the rain.He would never do this for anyone else but the smile on your face was worth it.Rafe looked outside the window,recording Topper standing in a T pose as water drenched his ugly shirt and hair.Once the two minutes was up you opened the door again,letting the wet boy come inside.He smirked before hugging you tightly,getting you completely wet. “TOPPER!”You shouted,pulling off your wet t shirt. “Dammit.”You huffed,pulling off your wet shorts and leaving yourself in just your bra and underwear. Dancing in bikinis multiple times so it wasn't that big of a deal but you didn't notice their wandering eyes. You turned to walk upstairs to change into new into new pants while top or just stood a blushing mess. 

At this point you'd forgotten about the movie and you were more focused on annoying your friends.Topper  knew better than to sit on your couch in wet clothes but unfortunately he hadn't brought a new pair to change into. So when you return downstairs in a tank top and pajama bottoms you saw topper in just his boxers sitting on your couch watching the movie.You went to sit on the couch,being pulled into Topper’s lap.When the scene of Bucky falling off the train came along Kelce had become attached,standing up to shout at the tv while you started crying a bit,Topper kissing your forehead lightly. “WHERES THE NEXT ONE?”Kelce asked.You grinned,grabbing the remote and moving on to Winter Soldier. 

“Theres like a ton of movies between these two but like we can watch those eventually.”You shrugged,ending up wedged between Rafe and Topper,Rafe’s fingers twisting your hair and tracing figure eights along the back of your neck. “On your left!”You spoke at the same time as Sam,grinning.Kelce grinned. “So thats why you always say that!”He put the puzzle pieces together.When Nat pulled up you saw the way Topper’s jaw dropped,you smiled. “I know,right?Shes like really fucking pretty.”You grinned,head against Rafe’s chest.Topper had began to doze off when Bucky came on with his metal arm,waking up fully again when he heard you whisper “He could literally choke me with his metal arm.”under your breath.He burst out laughing for a reason that Rafe nor Kelce could understand,plotting to use it against you in the future.

Somehow Topper had managed to fall asleep against your leg while Rafe had gotten you onto his lap,your head in the crook of his neck as you watched Steve get the living shit beat out of him.Kelce was on the edge of his seat,completely invested in the story. “Can we watch the next one?”He asked.You smiled,pleased with his excitement. “Tomorrow morning,okay?”You asked.He huffed but nodded,grabbing the blanket he usually used.Rafe pulled a blanket over the two of you,allowing you to sleep on top of him.The four of you must’ve slept in pretty late,waking up to your 1 P.M alarm that told you to take your daily vitamins.You groaned,attempting to move but being held by Rafe.

You yawned,seeing Topper in his deep,drooling double-chin sleep.You flicked Rafe across the head so he’d wake up,the brunette waking with a grumble. “Rafe,you gotta let go.”You smiled,kissing his nose tiredly.He grinned,letting you off his lap.You shook Kelce’s shoulder as you walked by,your shorts riding up.Kelce got up with a groan,the blanket rolling around his body like a burrito as he stumbled into the kitchen.You got yourself a glass of water,putting your four vitamin pills into your palm.He watched as you took them,grinning at you. “Good girl.You want breakfast?”He asked.You shrugged,still tired.Topper walked into the kitchen,wiping his face of drool and carrying the bowl of m and ms.

 “Hey,do you still have those frozen strawberries?”He asked.You nodded,watching as he grabbed the bag of fruit from your freezer along with almond milk,whipper cream,hot fudge and banana. “Where’s Rafe?”Kelce asked,his question being answered by the universe when the Steve Rogers look alike walked in,turning on the keurig.Kelce put some bread in the toaster,taking out the eggs and a frying pan and starting to make some scrambled for Rafe,some fried for you and an m and m omlet for Topper.Speaking of the blonde,he was pouring frozen strawberries,fudge,banana slices and almond milk into the blender,switching it on and dancing to the sounds of the strawberries being crushed.As the eggs began to cook Kelce quickly handed Rafe his mug before grabbing a glass,putting a layer of m and ms and whipped cream at the bottom,adding two spoon fulls of sugar,some milk and mixing it all together until it was a colorful slop,pouring ice in the cup before brewing some italian coffee to top it off.

As it brewed he rushed to flip the eggs,cursing when he realised the edges were burnt.He tossed it onto a plate,sprinkling some italian seasoning on it and taking the toast out of the toaster for you.He grabbed a jar of your favorite jelly,spreading a thin layer on both slices,reaching over Rafe’s head to hand you the plate.You thanked him,ripping the slice of toast in half.Topper turned off the blender,pouring its contents into a glass and making a huge mountain of whipped cream before sitting across from you.You smirked,reaching your fork over to get some whipped cream.He gasped,jaw dropping as he stared at you. “So you’re gonna put me in the rain for two minutes and now youre taking away my whipped cream?Do you wanna fight?”He asked,leaning forward.

You used your fork,knocking over the mountain of whipped cream before getting up and running down the hall.He ran after you,grabbing you by your wrist and pinning you against the wall of the guest room,panting.You two stared at eachother for a while,his bare chest pressed against you.His eyes flicked between your eyes and your lips,leaning down so his forehead was pressed against yours.So much was happening at once,you couldnt even comprehend it.But then from the kitchen you heard an argument starting,Topper letting go of your wrists as they two of you went back to the kitchen. “The third one is the best!” “FUCK YOU IN THE ASS,BITCH!”You walked in,looking between the two boys. 

“What is going on?”You asked.Kelce looked over at you,spatula in hand. “Which Descendants film is better?Two or Three?”He asked.You shook your head,sitting back down to eat your toast. “Fuck-dammit,Topper!You made my toast untoast!”You exclaimed,waving the uncrunchy bread.Kelce frowned,eyes softening. “Do you want me to make you more?”He asked.You shook your head. “No,its fine,Kelce.”You grinned,taking a sip of your coffee.It was sweet and creamy and pretty good,somehow Kelce always made the best coffee no matter what he put in it.Rafe looked between you and Topper,sensing that something had happened in the room.He hoped that Topper wouldnt intentionally hurt him like that,hoping Kelce wouldnt either.A plate of scrambled eggs was put in front of Rafe along with a bottle of barbecue sauce,making you stare at him in disgust. “I cant believe you put barbecue sauce on your eggs.”You shook your head,taking a bite of the toast and getting excited when you heard a crunch. “Oh-hey,dont worry!It didnt untoast”You grinned,enjoying it.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​  @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​ 

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[deripmaver]

4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

[ghostofscarley]

so i was scrolling through my fyp on tiktok when i found this song (thats abt 3yrs old) called 'Heaven's Not Too Far' by a band called We Three and i just wanted to rant for a bit

now that my sisters are baptised, it meant that though it didnt change much, there was a lot we had to give up (like birthdays and christmas), it also meant that with things like 'talking to deceased loved ones' would also come to an end in our family, as initially we're just talking to air.. when someone, unfortunately passes, their spirit doesnt float around, watching over us, their state of mind and physical body becomes unaware as they enter a long sleep.. and with our jehovah gods promise of a paradise, it is also promised that we will see our loved ones again

so this rant is i guess.. an explanation of my life, my families life and our losses, and a final letter to quite a few people..

i do not seek for attention, i guess i want a glimpse of closure on a format where no one in my family will find

so.. as a minor at the age of 16 (2005), i was born and raised (for the first few years) in a small town of north new zealand..

ive told a few ppl of this so.. bare with me

2007 is to this day, the worst year that couldve hit my family

the years of covid and quarantine would never compare to the year 2007, as horrible as it was

my father, a rugby player and hunter/manager of a motel/guardian of these few totems that rested on our tribes respective mountain, had a heart condition that ran in his family, and inevitably, he also had this condition.. within the month of april, 2007, on the 14th, it was during a rugby game that his heart just couldnt take it amd he had a heart attack mid-game.. now this was a few months before i turned 2 so my mother, i think one of my sisters and myself were not present when this happened.. my oldest brother and my oldest sister were however and so it was through them that we were notified of what happened.. and we lost him.. at the time my mum was abt 2 months pregnant with my little brother

if anything, my mum struggled the most during 2007, having to go through the rest of her pregnancy, whilst looking after her 4 other kids and the loss of her husband and best friend..

when the due date of my brother came, mum was rushed bc she was quite literally close to bursting.. she had planned to give birth to him in the same hospital i was born in.. at the time, there werent many doctors and so.. late november 11th, when my brother was born, the umbilical chord was wrapped around his neck.. and they couldnt save him in time.. we lost him early-mid november 12th.. so a few months after i turned 2

due to my young age, it meant i dont remember anything of what had happened..

it also means, unlike my siblings, whom i have quite a large age gap with, i didnt get to spend as much time with my dad

i can only think abt what he wouldve been like through photos and videos

and the amount of sadness and happiness that surges through me when i find ones in which he says my name

___________________________________________

so i want to say a final goodbye.. to both my brother and my dad

to my dad, whom i cant say i have much recollection of my own, i wish i was given the chance to have known you more.. before you were ripped from us.. i wish i had more memories of my own so i could join the others when they share their own stories of you.. i wish i had a lot more to say but now trying to put it into words is a lot harder than i thought.. i miss you so much..

to my brother, the youngest of our clan, i wish you had a lot more time than you were given and how unfair it was that the chance of life was taken from you.. as much as i love taking younger friends and even nieces and nephews under my care, i wish i had the opportunity to have experienced what it wouldve been like to have a younger sibling, no matter how annoying you may have been.. i wish i couldve heard your (most likely) fugly laugh that probably resembles mine and i wish i couldve felt your embrace just once.. i wish i had more than a single photo of you, for now i cant even imagine what you mightve looked like.. i wished i didnt have to hug the ducks that hold yours and dads' pictures for it will never be the same.. i wish i couldve gotten to know you.. youll never know how much you are still loved to this day bubba.. and i cant wait to see you and dad again in the new world

___________________________________________

as i said previously, my sisters are jehovah witnesses.. and this organisation has changed our lives forever

jehovah.. not many ppl know our father for his true name, for instead, in all bibles, his name has been replaced by titles like 'god' and 'lord'

for him, we hope to reach out to millions who are not yet in the truth, to let them know of the upcoming tribulation but also the promise for everlasting life and a paradise world where we will reunite with those we've lost

of course i am not the only one who has dealt with loss.. so to everyone that has, can you imagine a world where we'll see all our loved ones again.. one without sickness, or war, or injustice, or just bad things.. it can be hard to imagine in this day in age.. that only a miracle could make that happen

so why would our father put us through all this suffering? well, whether this is to test our faith or not, that is not smth i myself can answer.. i can however provide a website and app that can provide those answers.. the JW app and jw.org have changed our perspective on the world and what we thought was 'god'

we can hope and dream for a world of peace and everything that is good

[phonyrams]

There was nothing William hated more than the sound of crying children. (uhhh do keep reading to.. ya know... read the thing :) )

(TW: Kidnapping, Murder, death, emotional abuse (lowkey) , death threats)

There was nothing William hated more than the sound of crying children. When Michael was born, it was almost constant in his ears. The kid just wouldn't shut up. Beth would get up to feed and take care of him every time he awoke in the night and William just refused to help. Now, standing in the doorway of his own home with a small black haired brat in his arms screaming his lungs out, he remembered why he avoided infants so much. 

Beth came into the main hall and walked down to the front room to see where the crying was coming from. It was too young sounding to be Michael and it was 10pm. Where was this coming from?. A feeling of dread and uncertainty fell into her stomach upon seeing a figure in the doorway. The lamp was on, illuminating her husband's face and in his arms… an infant. 

“Jesus christ…. William what the Hell is that?” She spat coldly.

“Oh ‘liza, I know youre stupid but i dont think youre that stupid. It's a baby of course!” he said smiling and holding up the child a bit more for his wife to see.

“But it's not… our kid- whose kid is that?” Beth’s voice gradually became more panicked as she spoke, the panic and dread sitting in more.

William gave out a short laugh. “Well,” he looked down to the screaming, annoying child in his arms and back to the woman in front of him “it's our kid, now!”

“So what- you just adopted a kid? Out of nowhere? William things don't work like that. We have to talk about these things, and there's research and paperwork...” She trailed off. Beth was starting to panic even more. She didnt like that stupid smile spread on her husbands face.

“I guess you could say I adopted him in some way or another.” He waved his hand around in a circular motion, now holding the screaming child in the crook of his arm. The couple stared at each other as the woman narrowed her eyes. The screaming child still loudly echoing his cries throughout the room. If only her stare could kill.

“What the hell did you do.” She said through gritted teeth, still staring straight through him. William simply blinked.

“Well I just… ya know Ii-”

“What. Did. You. DO” She said in the harshest voice she could muster. She knew there was no winning in this situation, there was no outpowering him. She could try her hardest though.

William took a breath and smiled once again, looking down. “I took a kid.” He looked up at his wife as he said it and started laughing. “I took a kid! I beat his parents to death and took their kid! And oh don’t even worry about anyone finding their bodies, i made sure they were well hidden” He said through his laughter. Beth’s stomach dropped. She didn't know whether she was going to be sick, pass out, or lash out at the man before her but she found that she couldn't move a muscle except to slowly bring her hand to cover her mouth. 

She decided to take a step back. And then one more and she placed her other hand in the hallway corridor, never leaving her stare from the laughing man in front of her.

“William what the fuck. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” She asked, still slowly backing away. 

“This is what we wanted! Another kid right? Because God knows the first one was a fuck up”

“Don’t call him that. This is what you wanted, I never wanted another kid! I cant have one you know this we,” she looked down at her hands, now held below her. “We agreed on this!”

“You’re right! We agreed you shouldn’t have more kids and I never broke that promise, that's why I needed to get one for my own!” he held the still screaming child up a bit more in his arms. “Michael could never run the company, he's a brat, I needed a kid that was a bit better!” He still smiled like this was some sick game.

“I-ill call the police. I'll tell someone, anyone about this.” She looked at him, her breath quickening from the panic. “You can’t get away with this.”

“Oh really? I can’t?” He said feigning a shocked voice before laughing once again. “‘Liza c’mon… you can't believe someone will actually believe you, right? Local celebrity William Afton, a child stealer?” He let out another laugh, this one dark and controlled, not almost hysterical like previously. “I can say how strange you've been acting and make them think you've lost your marbles, then do you think anyone will believe you? I already have a good friend making me his birth certificate, anything that would back up the fact that this kid,” he looked down to the child “is our’s!. Oh sweetheart, I think I already got away with this.”

“Won’t people question where he came from? Why didn't they see me pregnant?”

“Oh I'll just say some excuse obviously, the child isnt yours. I had some woman somewhere else who had the child, you know, blah blah blah.” He waved his hand around again, signaling just how “obvious” his answer is. “And you, the loving mother you are, accepted him into our family with open arms… right sweetheart?” his voice was low and scary.

Beth looked down and considered all her options. She couldnt be here anymore, she couldn't stay with this disgusting excuse for a human being. She couldn’t even look at him anymore.

“I'm leaving. I’m taking Michael and I'm leaving, for good. You can't expect me to stay here, you can't make me.”

“Oh you’re right, I can’t make you stay… i'll just kill you both if you leave!” William said with a smile.

Beth thought she was going to be sick. She had no choice but to stay.

“You’re sick...you’re disgusting.” She spat.

“Oh, honey, you're so kind!”

Beth sat there, thinking for a moment. She was trapped with this man.

“What's his name… what's the childs name?”

“David.”

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Switch (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil Boleyn had never considered himself the smartest person in the world. Certainly not smarter than his husband Janus. But he still knew a lot of things about the world. Dont fall asleep in the woods, dont mess with the mushrooms, dont make deals with strangers at crossroads. Granted, he'd never had to use this information before, but he still thought it was important.

But it was especially important now that he had a son, Logan. Virgil had never really thought about kids before Janus, but a few years after they were married and here he was.

"Good morning my darling," Janus ran a hand through Virgil's hair and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"Mmmm- good morning dear," Virgil said, to busy smiling at the baby in his arms to return the favor.

"And how has our little astronaut been?" Janus said, leaning over Virgil to hold Logan's hand, which was much smaller than his own.

"Loud and chaotic," Virgil replied, smiling.

"Sounds familiar," Janus replied, smirking. Virgil shot him a glare before going back to the crossword on the table in front of him.

"Alright, I'm going to work ok my darling?" Janus said, placing another kiss on Virgil's cheek.

"Miss you already dear," Virgil replied. Janus smiled at him before fixing his hat on his head and turning to walk out the door.

Virgil wasn't exactly sure when he'd fallen asleep, only that when he'd woken up, Logan was crying, very loudly. He rushed over to the crib only to realize, Logan wasnt the only one crying.

Laying inside, clutching the blue blanket in his tiny hands, was another baby, who looked almost identical to Logan.

Virgil blinked a few times.

"I- dont remember giving birth to two of them?-" he said quietly. But the how wasnt very important at the moment. Babies were crying, and that wasnt ok.

He picked Logan up on one hip, and the identical child, albeit with slightly lighter hair, on the other.

"Aaaaawww, you poor things, dont worry, I've got you," Virgil said softly, rocking the two as best he could until they calmed down. He lay on the couch and allowed them to rest on his chest and stomach.

"Well we've got a Logan already, but you strike me as more of a Patton," Virgil said, running his fingers through the other's hair. Patton made a small squeaking sound before rolling over and curling in on himself.

"I'm home my darli-" Janus froze as his eyes landed on the two children now laying on Virgil's chest.

"Twins?" He said softly. Virgil nodded.

Janus sat next to him and ran a hand through Patton's hair, the small child stirring slightly at the touch.

"May I talk to you for a moment darling?" Janus said quietly. Virgil nodded and carefully placed the brothers back in the basket.

Janus stood up and began walking out to the porch, Virgil following close behind.

"What is it dear? You seem upset-" Virgil said, barely concealing the worry in his voice.

"Remember how I told you I'd made a deal as a teenager?" Janus said, the yellow eye on the side of his face that was covered in oddly realistic scales seemed to glow slightly.

"Janny you told me it was a bet at school." Virgil said, already piecing it all together in his head.

"Well, it was sort of like that, the fae prefer to call them deals though," Janus said.

"But this particular bet seemed to only go halfway, neither of us could decide who'd won, I was given scales as punishment for supposedly luring the fae into a trap, and forced to give up my first born," Janus continued, Virgil's stomach twisted.

"And?" Virgil said quietly.

"Since the deal was only half complete, it seems they couldnt truly replace Logan, and instead we now merely have a changeling child as well," Janus finished. Virgil stared at him for a few moments, trying to process what he'd just heard.

"Well, they've abandoned their child, so as far as I'm concerned, he's as much our son as Logan," Virgil said finally.

Janus grinned "I had a feeling you'd say that my darling," he said as he stood up, holding out a hand to help Virgil to his feet.

"Papa, Dad! Look what we caught!" Patton raced towards the kitchen counter, dropping his arms on it carefully. There in the center of it was a small yellow canary. Logan shuffled up behind his brother, face buried in a notebook, pencil scribbling furiously, sketching out the bird.

Virgil and Janus both stared down at the bird, Virgil's face breaking out in a grin.

"And where did you find it?" Janus asked, kneeling down so as not to cast any shadow onto the bird.

"On the ground in the front yard!" Patton replied, his pointed ears flopping to the side as he rested his head on his arm.

"And was there a nest anywhere around?" Janus said.

Logan and Patton looked at eachother for a few seconds before muttering a faint "yes," in unison.

"Alright, then let's go put it back should we?" Janus said, standing up. Patton's ears pricked up slightly, Virgil liked to joke that Patton reminded him of a cat, from the pointed ears, to the way his eyes had a faint glow at night. This was incredibly hilarious to both Patton and Logan, as they were allergic to cats. The boys followed quickly behind Janus like a pair of ducklings, Patton still excitedly cooing over the canary in his hands.

Virgil missed those days, before Patton had been exposed to the harsh reality of a world that wasnt used to his kind being allowed in public.

Virgil and Janus had tried their best to keep Patton happy, they'd built a treehouse for him to dance in without risking his family, Logan often leant him headphones and hoodies, since he didnt like flaunting his ears. But humans could always seem to find ways to stamp out even the brightest flames.

But the human part of the family had bigger things to worry about now, the boys were in highschool, and the only school within the area happened to be right next to a fae infested forest, the very same out of which Patton was believed to have come from.

Now, Virgil knew that most changelings tended to go back to their fae heritage much sooner than highschool age, but he wasnt about to let that happen to his son.

"Logan? Could you meet me outside for a second?" Virgil said, watching Patton flee up the stairs to grab his backpack.

"Uh- sure-" Logan said, following quickly after Virgil as he made his way to the porch. The pair of them sat down, Virgil's hands folded awkwardly in his lap.

"So, you know your brother is. . . Different, yes?" Virgil said. Logan nodded.

"Well- this new school you're going to, I need you to promise something for me ok?" Virgil continued.

"What is it?" Logan said nervously.

"Whatever you do, do not let him near the woods behind the old gym, ever." Virgil said urgently.

Logan sat there for a moment, clearly thinking through something.

"Alright- I'll do my best," Logan said finally.

"Logaaannn!!! The bus is here!" Patton's voice sounded from inside.

Logan and Virgil exchanged one final look before Logan ran back inside.

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Tag list:

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@extercs-experiences

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[siimsroyalty]

||Behind The Scenes||

'Widen Hospital in Windenburg'

||Beginning- Previously -Next||

Warning: Strong Language

".....Everything is all set to go, whenever your ready to leave, your Majesty we'll discharge you." The doctor spoke while Allegra and Eliza fussed over baby Benjamin.

"Thank you." Eliza spoke to the doctor when a knock on the door sounded and her husband was announced as her visitor.

"I'll give you two some privacy. " Allegra shared a look with Eliza before getting up and putting Benjamin back in his bassinet when Alexander walked into the room.

"Hey," Alexander greeted his wife warmly and then to the newborn. Eliza said nothing and Allegra and the doctor walks out of the room.

"I'm so sorry I missed this. As soon as I heard I came straight here." Alex was saying as he moved from the bassinet towards Eliza reaching down to give her a kiss but Eliza moved her head away at the last minute.

"I didnt think you'll show up. " Eliza finally said as Alex slowly stepped back acknowledging the rejection.

"Why wouldn't I? My wife just gave birth. I know I missed majority of it but I still wanted to be here for you and him."

"Why? When you was having so much fun back in Springs." She said a weird tone in her voice.

"Eliza, you have every right to be upset. I should have been here and I wasn't-"

"How was it?"

At the puzzling look on her husbands face, she elaborated. "Your Christmas night? Wasnt it just magical getting the chance to spend Christmas with the one you love? Unfortunately I didn't but it's nice to know at least someone did."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I wanna ask who was it, she sounded familiar over the phone but I couldnt quite place her voice."

"What voice Eliza?" Alex asked confused.

"The voice of the girl you spent ravishing on Christmas night. I wanna know the name of the girl who you just couldnt live without, that was what you said to her right?"

"What?"

"I called you on Christmas and I overheard you, with her. I called you and you had the nerve, the audacity to answer it whilst you was with her, in her! I heard all of it!" Eliza said venom dripping all throughout her words. Alex eyes widen as he have never heard his wife speak this way. "Every word, every promise you swore to her. I heard how much she mattered to you and It makes me wonder why you even here when clearly you have someone that special waiting for you back home."

".....Eliza," Alexander said slowly, a feeling he couldnt describe swelling up in his gut. "Whatever you heard that night, couldnt possibly have been me." He said to her. "I dont have my phone on me. I misplaced it somewhere while I was with my mom on Christmas and I hadnt managed to find it since. It's the reason why I wasnt here sooner. I lost my phone. Who ever you heard, wasnt me. Maybe you called the wrong numb-"

"I know what I heard! I heard you fucking her, dont stand there and lie to my face!" She screamed at him.

"Watch your voice Eliza." Alex warned her as Benjamin started crying at the loud noise. "This isnt the place-"

"Fuck you! You knew what you was doing! Instead of spreading Christmas with us, you used Alexa's investiture as an excuse to fuck around on me and then try to play me off as if I was crazy!"

"Eliza! Calm down! Nobody called you crazy, I'm saying this isnt the time or the place to discuss who you supposedly overheard me fucking on Christmas. You just given birth and Benjamin is screaming and I dont want to argue with my wife infront of my newborn. You can accuse me all you want behind close doors, away from the three day old baby but were absolutely not doing this shit here!"

Eliza said nothing, just silently turned around and walked into the bathroom where Alex heard muffled sobs coming through the door. Ignoring them for now, Alex went to soothe Benjamin.

[idjitlili]

The toy store

A request.

I hope this is what you want ,my dude. When i got it was like damn  gotta write this now ahhhh, I started writing this at 00:26 am.finished at 2:14  Anyways here you are. i tried , i hope it is what you wanted xx

summary:imagine visting Bofur's shop often with your kid brother ,but you cannot help but find him attractive,in which thats exactly why you keep bringing your brother as an excuse to see him.

wordcount:1363

y/b/n=your brothers name if you dont have brother ,uhh your brother is named jared.

Your parents had had you very young ,and decided to wait a while until they were able to afford another child,that wasnt until you were 10. You were now an adult ,but you still lived with your parents because they would have to travel often due to their work,so you would look after your brother, y/b/n. You enjoy that as you could make whatever you wanted for dinner , take him out . In which you would take him to this toy shop,ran by a dwarf and his brothers,he would work in shop three days a week,and he's the exact reason you go there so much.

You would only go during those three days, you would always get your brother small everytime,with the money that your parents gave you. You didnt have anything else to spend it on other than clothes ,but you didnt need anymore ,plus you got see Bofur,yes you knew his name. Plus you liked seeing your brothers excitement when he got to pick a toy,he had so many because of you.

Your parents had left yesterday,for a week or two trip,your mother had suspected there was a reason you would always happily take care your brother.she had followed you and your brother to the toy shop ,only to see you talk a dwarf while your brother placed the toy on the counter. You had pulled your money gently from your pocket ,counting the right amount before offering it to Bofur. He smiled widely at you,shaking his head no, you looked at him confused.

"Miss y/n, you are always here ,this one is on me." he sent a soft smile to you,gently pushing your coin filled hand away,a blush covers your cheeks ,as you put the money back in your pocket. You mother watched from outside,smirking knowing exactly why went to the toy shop so often,she wanted grandchild desperately ,even though her son was still a child. She knew you wouldn't make the first move,so she would push it to happen.

"are you sure? i do-""really its on me ,anything for my prettiest customer." he had interrupted you making you blush brightly,smiling nervously at him. Y/b/n grabs his toy,"thank you mister Bofur!" he excitedly shouted grabbing your hand with his free hand. "you are very welcome laddy,you make sure you look after your ma." you blushed hard ,he thought he was your son,darn how old did he think you were ,jesus. "oh i-im not ,i-im his sister." Bofur had chuckled before speaking smoothly "I was messing with you, you've been coming here long enough ,for me to hear him call you y/n." you sigh in relief almost ,laughing quietly.

"I cant even get a boyfriend ,let alone have a child." you state quietly ,avoiding eye contact ,watching y/b/n play with his soldier figure on the counter ,you move your feet removing the prssure from standing in one place so long.  "thats hard to believe miss y/n, you a-" before he would even finish the bell on the shop door jingles;as it opens revealing your mother, your smirking mother who struts over to you ,picking up her son holding him in her arms.  "ma, I thought you and da-" you begin to speak only to be cut off again,Bofur is beyond confused on what is happening ,he liked you but he was nervous,

"I came to see what you do when we leave." she stated simple smirking still ,you look at her annoyed,how much more embarrassing could this get honestly. " what you do think I do? go get pissed and pregnant?" Bofur looks at you shocked he hadnt seen you like this before ,he would feel the same if his mother followed him out. Your mother laughed at you "no of course not,so this is what you spend all your money  we give you on?" you nod you head ,you were beyond motified at this point.

Bofur that it was sweet you spent all your money on your sibling,he could see how you were with children. "well are you going to introduce me to your friend or not?"you gugled "ma this Bofur,Bofur this is my ma ,y/m/n." he smiled at you and your mother ,holding his holding out for your mother to shake "nice to meet you ,ma'am." he had spoken politely,your mother took his shaking it smiling "you too."

After letting go of her hand she had already popped out another question, "so is there anything going between you two,that i dont know?" god she never stopped smirking ,as much you loved her ,you really couldnt think of anything worse right now. "MA, no there isnt." your face was sweating,you were so angry,and upset,but you would thank her later. You had gotten out your mothers grip long ago playing with toys on the shelves,lucky it was almost clsoing time so it was just you five in there,

  "why do you come her so so often then ,hm?" she was beyond cheeky ,but she was choking out the truth and she knew it. "uh to get y/b/n toys?" you knew shes had you, "and you I saw you flirting with her,dont try to deny that werent because i cut you off when i walked in." Bofur was too red face as were you ,she was winning. "MA.you need to stop being creepy,i bet you had your face agaisnt that window ,looking like heres johnny." she ignored you "i will leave you two to talk it out,come on y/b/n lets go home." she gestured for y/b/n to follow ,he runs after her with soldier in hand ,waving goodbye ,you both watch them leave making their way down the street.

You turn back to Bofur embarrassment imprinted on your face,"I'm so sorry,Bofur." you spoke ,lip trembling ,eyes filling up with tears yet . "hey,dont cry,if anything she was right" he had spoke walking around the counter infront of you wiping the tears that streamed down your face, look at him confused.

"w-what?2 before you could say anything more he had pressed his lips to yours gently. "you dont know how long i wanted to confess," he spoke ,pulling you into an embrace,you hug him tightly back taking in his scent,your cheeks now drying slowly."me too."  you had been going to his shop for months ,it was a little crazy. "you would like accompany me to dinner,miss y/n?" he spoken pulling slightly out of the embrace,you nod smiling he presses his lips upon yours again.

He closes the shop before talking you to dinner ,lets just say you didnt live with your parents for much longer,and even so Bofur would still maake y/b/n toys,he really liked Bofur and your mum teased you all the time saying she got you both together.In which you would tell her and for that I am grateful. Within two years you were married and already had given birth to a son.

your mother was over the moon ,and Bofur made hundreds of toys for him,your brother didnt like didnt give him as much attention as before.Bofur was a great husband and father ,and you had your brother to thank for pulling you into his shop all those years ago.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

No Boyfriend’s

Masterlist

Henry comes home to find out his three year old princess has a boyfriend, whats a dad to do?

Warnings: swearing, fluff

A/n: so I had so much fun wrighting this fluff piece! Thank you to @jessevans​ for requesting it.

No Boyfriend's

You walked up to the preschool to pick up your daughter from her afternoon session. You had to admit when Henry had first sugested moving out of the city You had been a little skeptical. He had been adamant that he wanted your child to have a childhood much like his. Out of the hustle and bustle moving out into 'the sticks' as many londoners would call it. You'd settled in a quaint picturesque little village near Canterbury in Kent the location was perfect for henry's work with the port of dover thirty minutes away and the center of london with all the airports around an hours drive in the opposite direction it was ideal. And best of all it was out of the way and had all the amenities within the village itself a post office, shop,pub, Doctors surgery and pharmacy the local primary school and pre school was literally a five minute walk from your house and the closest secondary schools were a ten minute bus ride into canterbury itself and when the time came you had six to choose from.

The reason for the move? Your now three year old Daughter the apple of her daddies eye. You remebered the day you'd told your boyfriend you were pregnant, you'd been terrified as much as he said he wanted a family you couldnt help that twinge of doubt. But he was exstatic within moments he had darted out of the room when he returned he was clumsily trying to dial his mothers number with shaking hands tears streaming down his face as he kept asking if you were sure even when his mother picked up, you could here her laughs of joy as he told her. He paced the room leaving you to sit on the bed giggling as he refused to sit down whilst on the phone with his family every time he walked past you he move his hand pressing on Your flat tummy asif trying to feel the child already that or he was trying to imagine you with a bump and that grin? You'd never seen him smile like that before it truly melted your heart seeing him so happy. He was always and attentive boyfriend but once you was pregnant he was..Incredible always by your side when he was at home tending to your every need and he somehow managed not to be over bearing.

It was when you went to the first scan that he had proposed some might say it wasn't the most romantic but for you it was perfect! Leaving with the first photos of your little jellybean and a fiance. Fuck yes! You thought that you couldnt get any happier but then came the gender scan. You knew he didnt mind what they were but you also knew deep deep down you both wanted a little girl to coddle over and buhe wanted a daddies girl someone who he could be their knight in shining  armour. He could bearly keep still beside you holding your hand tight watching the screen trying to get a look at your little 'nugget' as he had called them he couldn't keep quiet either with every swipe of the ultrasound  wand he was changing his mind.

"Girl? Is that? I can see? nope Boy definatly boy"

"Henry babe...dont get to excited that's the umbilical cord...I think?" They were being a little bugger crossing their legs making the sonographer work hard to move them around as you had to move again and again trying to get the little one to move. Finally they spoke.

"And you two are about to have... Little....Princess! You have a baby girl on the way congratulations" you both froze looking at the screen seeing your baby...your daughter. Immediately you both burst into tears.

"A-a girl your sure?" Henry asked in a quiet shaky voice the woman smiled nodding handing you both tissues then moved slower over the child showing you exactly what she saw then printed off some of the photos for you. Once home Henry began refering to her as 'little lady' on account of her 'protecting her modesty' by crossing her legs.

It wasnt long after youd began talking about moving seroiusly, the house was big enough sure but now you knew the baby was a girl it all seemed much more real. Sure you'd both spoke about buying a house together on and off as youd moved in to his place earlier in the relationship but this time it was more feasible the idea of raising your precious little girl in the middle of london didn't bode well for Henry he was also concerned about haveing photos of her taken he was an actor hell your relationship was posted all over social media by your third date! He didn't want that attention on his daughter so you both started seriously looking. It only took another nine weeks to find a place you both fell in love with the Georgian detached house it looked like a mini manor with its decorative columns and tall windows had a huge garden to for kal it was perfect.

At six months you had a small private wedding and it was then that he anounced your marriage and baby Cavill, potsing your favourite wedding photo of you in you and Henry facing each other laughing witb your foreheads together, you were wrapped around each other as close as ou could get considering the bumb that had seemingly grown overnight his hand resting on the cute bump you were laughing because she had just kicked him when he had told you he loved you. Almost like 'dont forget about me!', Kal had photo bombed to his head poking out between your an Henry's legs smiling , a part of your flowy dress caught up on the bears ear head tilted the only one looking at the camera and in the same post he added an ultrasound of your baby girl. You got congratulations from many of yours freinds and family. And Henry's freinds and costars each wondering the same thing 'how the fuck did Henry keep it quiet?'. You wondered that as well, the hole pregnancy was just memory after memory. Henry made sure you did everything you could to document your daughters creation, you did the photo of your bump once a week the last one being you in the hospital in the middle of slow labour holding the gown tight around you a mere half hour before she was born. He had made sure you did the belly casting which had been tidied up and trimmed painted pink and was in the cupboard, then the 4d scans expensive tho they were nothing and you mean nothing compared to seeing her little face for the first time, it was then you realised she looked nothing like you! She was all her father although a slightly more feminine and less sharp and it was also there you were told she had lots od hair...Curls you felt like you'd hit the jackpot. At the birth he had been incredibly supportive until he wasn't, well you disagreed  he wanted to film it and not just your face  he wanted to film it you said no but regretted it after as it would have been solid proof of what happened.  You see one moment he was there then mid contraction....you heard quiet 'nope' a huge thump is what alerted you to his fall.... there was an alarm pressed and nurses came running in each giggleing, it was rare now days to have a fainter.

"Are you FUCKING KIDING ME?! HENRY?! OI! HERNY? CAVILL GET YOUR ASS UP!" You had to stop shouting and started breathing heavy as another contraction pulled at you once over you began barking orders to the nurses.

"KICK HIM...KICK HIM IN THE NUTS! DONT WORRY ABOUT STERILISING SUPERMAN HERE! NEVER AGAIN! HE WONT THEM TRUST ME... HENRY GET UP! ARE YOU LISTENING? STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH! I AM NOT DOING THIS AGAIN COS HE FUCKING MISSED IT! LOOKING WHEN I TOLD HIM NOT TO!"  The nurses didn't know what to do it took three of them to place im in the chair each trying desperately not to laugh as you had a melt down screaming at him to 'wake the fuck up' You swore you even heard laugher from outside signaling that his family had heard. Yes your wonderfully supportive husband had fainted through stress? Excitment? Anxiety? Low blood sugar? Each time you asked him it had been different answer but and to quote him 'it was definitely not because I looked' which neither you or his brothers will ever believe or let him forget. Luckily he came to as you finally birthed his daughter. A stunning screaming little dark haired bundle. He sobbed when he held her for the first time leaning over her cradeling her so gently leaning over her kissing her as many time he possibly could he was the first one to hold her, hug her kiss her and change her. The photo of his first cuddle hung proudly in the hallway ,you will never forget that moment, the moment when Henry's whole world changed  you could see then just how much he had wanted this. Your daughter was going to be the luckiest little girl in the world.

Paige had grown into a daddies girl, through and through which made today much better. Henry was coming home from filming man from u.n.c.l.e he had been away for months and you had kept his arrival home a secret. Henry was going to make it home in about twenty five minutes. You stopped just before the colourfull gates unable to go in with Kal, you could see the kids lining up in twos underneath the oak tree in the small garden. You smile moving to stroke Kals ears hushing him as he barked loudly vibrating with exciment his tail thumping on the floor as he sat like the good boy he was. At his bark you could hear the kids all squeal with excitment, they loved it when you brought the 'wolf' to the preschool. It was funny hearing Paige whine to them that 'his name is Kal and he's a bear'. He was quite the spoilt pup when he helped you pick up his sister getting hugs and kisses of all the Paige's class mates. Finally the small class was walked out of the garden one of the teachers holding the gate lettjng them leave to their parents. Paige waited in line pointing to you then was let out you ducked down hugging her kissing between her her curly little pigtails.

"Hey baby! Have a good day?" She nodded passing you her small bag and a small potted plant? You looked at her confused but said nothing. She turned and giggled hugging kal smoshing her face in his chest making him stand up she pulled back and squealed as he latherd her with kisses three hours away from her was apparently to long!

"Oh no Kal! Stop it silly bear!" You laughed watching her push weakly at kal who began to settle down now that his 'pup' was with him. You noticed the other parents hovering there kids all pulljng itching to come get Kal cuddles. You smiled to them nodding suddenly they came over all giving him pets and love which he lapped up. You also used it as a sort of lesson the do's and donts of petting dogs, which did some of the other parents a favour. Kal wagged his tail and droped to the floor he couldnt roll over fast enough directing the tiny hands to scratch his belly mouth open tongue lolling about as he panted one happy little bear. After you were sure all the kids got there cuddles you moved calling kal he huffed at you ignoring you instead wanting more love. You smirked down at him sighing as the children giggled. Finally after much coaxing from the other parents you and Paige managed to heave kal away with promises of chicken and snuggles at home. Soon you was on your way home kal padding beside you happy as can be.

Paige took he spot beside you holding his lead with you she was talking about her 'boyfriend' a little boy who she had taken a shine to. It was really sweet he had just moved to the area a little asian boy who paige had bonded with quickly. Really they were just best freinds but he was the first boy she had made freinds with hence she had opted to call him her boyfriend.

"So then Micah played let me play and-and he let me be a knight!" You smiled at her as she beamed excited.

"Really? A knight?" She stopped at the road with you looking both ways then crossed quickly.

"Yeah! Like in daddy's games!! And he gave me some of the bany tomatoes in his lunch...did you he grew them in his own garden!!" You gasped sown at her.

"Really? Oh my, sound like a little dream boat!" she scrunched up her nose lookjng up at you placing a tiny hand to he forehed sheildjngnher eyea from the afternoon sun

"Wha?" You chuckled shaking your head at her.

"Never mind jummy is just being silly" nodded to you her lightl blue eyes sparkling at you then Continued talking about her day mostly about Micah and the games they played.

When you reached home you watched as kal began barking and whining which could only mean one thing. Henry was home already, you unlocked the gate and released the dog with a quiet 'go get daddy' he tore off whining running to the door scratching and pouncing barking the whole time.

"Mummy whats wrong with kal?" You looked down at her knowingly"I'm not sure why don't you go see to him?" She nodded her head biting her lip then licking it, she looked so much like her father doing that. Then she was off running to the house just as Henry opened the door. She froze then screamed for him quickly falling to pieces with grabby hands wantjng her daddy. You watched all choked up as always she was bawling her eyes out by the time he had jumped the steps to the house scooping her up in his huge arms. He clutched her to his chest shushing and rocking her as she cried into him fisting her small hands in his shirt just calling him over and over. He moved his head kissing her trying to calm her, he hated and loved this. He hated her getting so upset when her returned but secretly loved that she missed him. The first few times he left he was worried she wouldnt remember him but juste as youd promised him she had.

The first time he came home you’d taken her to the airport to meet him...He had ended hup having to sit in the back with her as she refused to let him go getting hysterical  each time he tried to pry her off of him. She had gotten better as she got older understanding that daddy had to work and now she was older she could speak to him on the phone and video chat. Each time after the initial crying and snuggles she would stay stuck to his side weather she was sitting on the sofa between his legs when he was playing games or in the makeshift gym with him useing his reps to practice her counting...even if in five mineuts he managed two hundred by her count they were always together. Hell sometimes he even read a new script as a bed time story, which not even you were privvy to!

You laughed walking up to him winding your arms around them both cuddling your daughter between you he leaned in kissing ou on the lips.

"God its good to be home" you smiled smoothing  one of paiges high pigtails she whined calming down kicking her little legs wrapping an arm around his neck and moved suckling her thumb a little. He moved you all into the house patting her bottom lightly somthing he had done since she was born it always soothed her. You moved to the kitchen opening the back door letting air in it was to hot, you placed the small plant on the windosill by the sinck giving it a tiny bit of water as you noticed the siol had dried out. Henry stayed close behind you wanting to be around you, you moved to the slow cooker flicking it on to warm up the already cooked casserole. He came up behinde you movijng to have Paige on one hip still rocking her slightly even tho she had calmed down.

"Ohh look baby chicken casserole...Did you help mummy with that today before school? " She giggled peering over the pot.

"Yes daddy! I putted in the veggies! And tatoes! Daddy!" He smiled at her gasping.

"You did the veggies and the potatoes?! Such a clever girl making daddies favourite dinner" she giggled at the praise nodding.

"And-and I tasted it to!" he gasped at her as she got all excited

"And what do you think?" She grinned and 'whispered'

"Needed salt" you spun round and gasped at her offended.

"You little!" You chased her and Henry around the kitchen island wriggling your fingers as if to tickle her.

"AHH HAHAHa NOOO! DADDY RUN RUN!" you giggled as he scarperd out of the kitchen hovering by the door and moved all you saw was the tops of their heads peering into the kitchen. You rolled your eyes as they made a 'plan of attack' you turned back to the pit placeing the lid back on.

Suddeny Henry had you, arms pinning yours to the sides as Paige 'tickled' you making you laugh.

"Oh my god! Stop I give I give!" Finally Paige relented koala climbing Henry who quickly scooped her up to his hip.You moved in kissing her cheek then henry as he wrapped his free arm around you nuzzling in to your neck giving a quick nip before licking at your skin.You giggled trying to escape yet all he did was grab you around your waist and hoist you up.

"HAHA! I have you both now!" You laughed and Paige squealed as he spun around holding you both before making his way to the living room  you wriggled free pretendingnto run from him making paige call out to you for help as he threw her up in the air holding her with 'slam dunking' paige to the sofa making her laugh and  scream as he followed lifting her littl tshirt blowing rasberries on her tummy makeing her squeal and laugh louder. You smiled at the two, this is what you missed when he was away, the laughter of a full house. You sat down in Henry's armchair as he and Paige 'wrestled' soon attracting kals attention who like the loyal steed he was came to paiges aid pouncing henry making him groan and roll off her givingnher and kal the chance to escape to the garden, you both let them the garden was safe and having  kal around was like a live in nanny he wont let anything happen to her.

Henry rolled over on the sofa lounging back panting crooking a finger at you. You crept over moving to sit in his lap, he tugged you down to him pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. He moved sitting up more cupping your ass smirking.

"Soo? Did you think about what I mentioned?" You grinned and pretended to think for a second making him groan leaning in leaving kisses on your neck and jaw.

"I did" you finally replied, you felt him hold his breath as his nose ghosted your ear.

"I stopped them that night~ all back to normal now" he pulled back staring at you

"Really? You mean it?" You nodded them brought you forward for a deep kiss. He had mentioned trying for another child when he came back, youd always intended to give Paige a sibling but not when she aas still a baby baby. Now that Paige was older and going to be in school next year you had felt ready to try again and had be over the moon whne henry had suggested it in a video chat instantly stopping your contraception so eveything would be back to normal and you could start trying asap asfterall you knly had him home for a few months then he was off to play superman again. He smiled lunging forward pinning you below him devouring your mouth you moaned as things got heated.

You felt them. Eyes. Blue eyes to be exact. You both sighed and turned to Paige who was staring unblinking at the two of you from the door. You moved pushing him up.

"Mummy? Wheres my plant I wana show daddy what I grew!" He looked at you and sighed a little, you could tell he was a bit dissapointed but you waved him off as he stood pulling you up with him you moved in whispering.

"Tonight love" he grinned and jumped up a bounce in his step holding his hand out to paige who took it.

"Its on the windowsill in the kitchen" Henry nodded left the room letting you relax for a while already knowing you were picking up your kindle to read. Once in the kitchen he lifted Paige placing her on the counter and pulled over the small plant.

"So whats this then?" She smiled touchingnthe leaves softly

"Its a strawberry plant daddy...I did it from a tiny seed!" He smiled at her looking to the plant it wasnt half bad small but alive which is more then he could say for his when he tried.

"Oh you did this? At school?" She nodded at him and moved the leaves about.

"Yes and it will get bigger and grow pretty flowers...And the flowers will grow a strawberry! Miss bou said we cant pick em till they are a bright red like in the shops... and we can take pictures in to show em off!" He nodded to her

"So your gardening at school now? Is it fun?" She giggled putting the plant down

"Yeah we got lots in our vegetable patch...we got some lettuce and peppers and spinach and and tomatoes! But they not ready yet...Micahs is! Micah grows the at home... can we grow some veggies daddy?" He smiled at her

"We certainly can...Besides we will need to plant your strawberries in the garden...I will make your ownn little growing patch amd we can grow anything you want how does that sound?" She squealed and bounced on her bottom making him smile.

"Lets make a list and we can go get them tomorrow" she nodded in agreement. You walked in the kitchen as henry and Paige leaned over the counter making a list

"Whats going on here then?" Paige quickly riped the paper from under Henry's nose.

"List mummy! Of palnts for my veggie patch! Daddy wants to help!" You smiled peaking over the paper seeing two halves one side had strange 'paige writing' the other a list Henry had written. Compost, tools, string, pots then lots of different fruit and veg. You chuckled shaking your head.

"You missed watering can...maybe we could get a waterbutt? And one of thows plastice green houses to start the seedling off?" He smiled nodding addjng them to the list as you went and checked dinner. You nodded then turned to the other two."Right you tow dinners done wash up then go wait at the table...Had it in the slow cooker all day just needed to be heated up" he leaned over kissing you once again thanking you then helped Paige was her hands leaving to the dining room with Paige.

You did this everytime he came home early dinner meant an early bedtime for Paige and then You could give Henry a proper homecoming. You dished up the dinner home made chicken casserole you moved quickly with the three bowles placing them on the table then sat down ready to eat as Henry began talking about work. you smiled letting him gush about his work, you loved seeing him like this he blushed slightly.

"Any way enough about that, how have my two girls been?" You watched at Paige grinned across the table to him.

"I made a new friend daddy!" You swallowed your mouthfull choosing to keep quiet you knew where this was going you grinned into you bowl. He smiled at her leaning over to wipe her mouth quickly making her giggle at him as he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh really? And whats her name?"

"Haha nooo! Daddy its not a girl...I've got a boyfriend!" Henry choked onhis mouthfull paiges face dropped and she looked to you worriedly you smiled reassuringly at her. Henry hit his chest coughing finally getting himslef under control, he looked at you shocked and terrified you nodded at him chuckling.

"A-a boyfriend? Poppet dont you think your a bit err young for that?" She frowned at him shaking her head.

"No daddy! He is really nice! He lets me be a knight! And today we had lunch together and he fed-ed me his tomatoes."

"Gave paige he gave you his tomatoes" you corrected as Henry gaped at her unsure what to make of it.

"So he is just a friend?....he better be"  he grumbled the last part under his breath.

"He is a friend...My boyfriend I love him daddy... he gives me hugs! And Kal likes him to! He's my hero" You giggled as Henry was panicked and at a loss.

"Really....love I thought daddy was your hero?" Creased up he actually looked a bit hurt from her words she gave him a sympathetic look.

"Yes daddy you are...But Micah is to! He is soo pretty and fun and he don't make me be the princess all the time...And he shares his colours"

"Okay so you love this boy Micah?" She nodded pushing her food around in her bowl.

"What do you love about him?"

"His hair! Its black and shiney! And and he is cute!"

"Aha but you do know he isnt your boy friend right? Your not aloud boyfriends yet....No boyfriends untill your older." He said she looked at him wide eyed then you her bottom lip quivering.

"What? But but I love him!" Henry crossed his arms at her she mimicked him scowling

"No absolutly not baby" .she whined and smaked the table in a huff

"NOOO! MY BOYFRIEND!" He raised a brow at her as she had a paddy.

"No boyfreinds untill your 21 and thats final ittle lady"

"No! Micah is mine! My boyfriend! A-and you cant stop us from playing! So there!" Henry rose a brow trying to ignor your quiet chuckles as Paige made huffed and stuck her nose in the air being a right little madame. You watched givjng Henry the stink eye as a grin crawled across his face. Here we go.

"Its illegal...he could get in trouble, daddy could get in trouble" Henry tilted his head at her as she gasped trying to read him, you could see her mind trying to work him out. Is he lying? Or not? but her father was an actor...And a damn good one he had a poker face like no other. You knew where this was going, you knew you should stop it but his was gold! You had a feeling that henry was not gojng to ckme out on top.as she opend her mouth.

"W-well we wont tell..Keep it a secret!" She said holding a finger to her lips Henry tutted shaking his head.

"Oh poppet...Do you know where daddy has been these past months?" You squinted at him trying to see exactly where this was going knowing you were going to have to pick up the pieces. She nodded then shook her head no. He smiled devilishly at her. Oh shit here he goes.

"Daddy has been to spy school" you gasped at him oh hell no he wouldnt...yes he fucking would you could see the twinkle in his deep blues.

"Spy school?" She spoke in a small voice then turned to you looking fro one to the other he nodded at he

"Y-your a spy?" He nodded and she gave him a sa look.

"Yes, and I made friends with lots of spies" she twitched slightly shaking her head.

"And they told me that the spy rules says that a spy's little girl isn't allowed a boyfriend until they are twenty one....If they did find out daddy could get in trouble...You dont want daddy to be in trouble do you?" She shook her head bottom lip trembling as she was torn. She looked like she would explode as she tried weighting up her 'options'.

 Suddenly Henry dropped his smug look and looked more like a deer in the headlights as Paige began wailing moving her arms making grabby hands to you. You sighed and hoisted her into your arms rocking her trying so hard not to laugh.

"W-why is da-daddy mean?....I ju-just want to pl-play with my boyfreind!" You patted her back rocking her.

"No-now D-daddy will get i-in trouble! But I-I just w-wana plaayy!" She cried harder hicupping between her words.

"Oh sweety come here shh shh" you gave Henry a look as he leaned back in his chair crossing his arms at you shaking his head. Stubborn and protective of his little lady.

"Nope..Not having it" you hissed at him knowing you had to spell this one out for the big idiot.

"Daddy didn't mean it,he wont get in trouble at all baby girl"

"Yes I did"

"HENRY!" he shut up at your hiss

"Bu-but d-daddy said-"

"Hey look at me...Dont listen to daddy he is an idiot and just jealous of Micah" she sniffled an nodded

"Y-yeah cos he-he's got pretty Shiney hair... D-daddies just got stupid curls!" You giggled as Henry looked aghast at her not believing wht ha was hearing

"Exactly daddy is just being a grump! you can still play with Micah...He is your best friend isn't he?" She nodded sniffling

"and you love his like a friend right?" Henry now realised his mistake blinked at you as you rolled your eyes shaking your head at him like 'what the fuck? Really? Shes three' .oh. She pulled away wipinng her eyes looking to henry's matching blues.

"Really daddy? C-can I still play w-with micah?"

"Yes of course...I'm sorry baby...you and mummy was right I just got jealous...daddy is used to being your only hero." Smooth cavill real smooth. She bought it tho nodding he tilted his head down.

"Yo-you wont be in tr-trouble" he shook his head at her

"A-and Micah wo-wont be in t-trouble?" Again he shook his head and reached for her.

"No baby daddy was just being silly...Come here Can you forgive me poppet?" She thlught about it then nodded lunging for him cuddling him he mouthed a sorry to you but you just rolled your eyes at him. Idiot.

It was later that night when Henry returned to your bedroom after reading Paige to sleep,. You both flitted about one another getting ready for bed ou was brushing your teeth when he brought it up.

"So who is this micah then?" You rolled your eyes still hearing a little hostility there...To a fucking three year old. You spat out the toothpaste and looked to henry leaning on the door.

"A little boy...He moved to the village just after you left...Paige was instantly taken with him, he is asian so was avoided by the other kids...you know what she's like with hair and shes never seen straight pitch black hair before... she gushed about him for a few days then they became best freinds....And she call's him her boyfriend because he is the first male friend shes made! God henry really shes three! There none of that shit yet...not for a good few years!" You turned away from your sheepish husband.

"So? nothing i need to know? theres nothing going on? whats his parents like?" You blinked at him..

"Seriously? Like are you being serious now?  Ok well fuck it his dad has taken over the doctors surgery and is actually your and my doctor now that dr marsh has retired! His mother is a stay at home wife, they have a cat called fuji; cos he is fat and a gold fish called mino because its a mino...he is a sweet polite boy ...his favourite colour is green he grows fruit and veg in his garden and you know what Henry he fucking loves batman! and whne he batman versus superman comes out he is gonna want batman to kick your ass! there you happy Jesus fucking christ almighty!" Henry smirked moving towards you slowly stalking towards you really.

"Fuck off" he just chuckled quickly wrappjng himself around you.

"God your so sexy when our mad come here~" you blinked at him

"Oh hell no You did not get me riled up to have rough sex.....Henry I!....you little shit!" He laughed knowing you’d caught onto him making you more irritated and dragged you to the bed kissing at your neck along the way.

"Come on love time for number two...A boy to keep and eye on Paige for me when I'm away!" You chuckled relenting as he laid you down on your bed.