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altbite · 2 years ago

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König Headcanons

Personal headcanons I have for this teddy bear

Some of it is Konig x GN!Reader

(also a lot of it is inspired by what i've seen plus my own experiences with anxiety) (a lot of this is just ideas i love)

____

The first time you meet him, he is like a statue. Doesn’t really move and when he does, he is surprisingly quite despite his size.

Doesn’t talk much either. At first you thought he was kinda like Ghost: tall, quiet, bit of a dick. Kind of like a Ghost knockoff but taller.

You glanced over at him A LOT tho. When he came into the room, you were the first to set your eyes on him and the last to stop staring. He noticed occasionally because he would glance at you, and like two awkward birds with anxiety, you both looked away at the same time, pretending you didn't see the other. This happened a lot

Eventually, you started giving him a passing smile if he walked into a room or walked by you. For a while, you didn’t know if he even acknowledge you but then he started nodding at you when you smiled at him.

The first time you heard him speak, his voice surprised you. It was a simple “Yes sir” to Price.

You were a flirt in the task force with almost everyone except Price. He was too much like a dad to you. Konig often saw you openly flirt with everyone, and found it..interesting, because to him and towards him you were a shy person.

You were slightly intimidated to flirt with him, because you haven't even spoken to him yet. But you'd be lying if you weren’t dying to flirt with him.

When you did speak for the first time, it was on a mission and you thanked him when he covered your ass. You don’t know if he said anything in return but you’d make note to bring it up again.

Back at base, you saw Konig in the kitchen making coffee. You walked over and started small talk, because you so desperately can’t hold a conversation with a stranger and even the small talk felt weird. You thanked him again and he actually spoke to you.

“You know, for a big guy, you aren’t that scary”, you said and walked off, leaving him somewhat speechless.

After that, you had no issues speaking to him and he eventually reciprocated it.

One day, you were hanging out with the other guys in the kitchen, and lowkey flirting with Soap, Konig silently walked by and you made a point to comment. “See Konig here, is just a oversized teddy bear”, to which the guys chuckled at and Konig felt a little flustered.

Your nickname for him was now going to be “Bear” but you made sure no one else would use it because it was your nickname for him and only yours. Konig never commented on the use of it but every time you called him that, he would blush a little (not that you could really tell)

You are a fan of horror movies and tend to watch them in your down time, and one night you managed to convince Konig to join you for one, even tho he stated he is scared of horror movies. You told him you would protect him from any monsters and gave him a extra extra large blanket so he could wrap himself in safety.

He did not enjoy the horror and you laughed at him for it. You let him put on a movie of his choice after so he could get the spooks out of his body. he always choose a rom com, which you weren't a fan of. Doesn’t mean you both didn’t cry at the ending.

You two established movie nights, usually after missions and rest days.

If there was candy/sweets involved, you always made sure he got the last piece. If you were leaving the room or diverting your attention to someone else, you would hand him a treat and say nothing. He always appreciated them.

At first when you flirted with him, he was taken a back. People didn’t often talk to him as much or he with them, so flirting definitely caught him off guard. But once he got used to it, he would flirt back. He would act so smug when you got flustered and turned away from him, starting a conversation with the closest person or leaving the room.

He is a cat person. Sure dogs are cute but he would rather have a cat around any day. Preferably multiple cats. If you are also a cat person, the two of you would cry over cats. Every cat you saw on the street you would be like “kitty!!” and try to pet them.

You two together are so chaotic. You strive on impulsive thoughts and often rope Konig in, and vice versa. Price just sighs every time he hears your name together. The sentence “Guess what y/n and Konig did today?” and he knew.

You are both a gamer and board/card gamer. Konig was neither really. You taught him how to play many games using a deck of cards. The others joined in sometimes and it was Konig’s real bonding with the team outside of missions.

His favourite game is Go Fish.

The team started to interact with him more after that game session.

He curses at you in German. Sometimes it scares you, sometimes you laugh your ass off. It depends on the situation.

If you are a sniper, you often nag him about it, especially if you are shorter than him. He doesn’t mind but he does find it annoying sometimes. On missions, you don’t get to team up because you end up fields away, looking through the scope of your rifle.

On multiple occasions, you have stared at his ass. Soap and Gaz bully you for it but they also join in because that man is caked. He is also packing but you never let him catch you staring there.

If you are covering him on missions from afar, you will zoom onto his ass and probably comment on it to him thru comms.

He mumbles curse words and tells you to pay attention. So does Price.

His love language would be physical touch.

Platonically (+ applies romantically as well):

he loves having his arm on your head or shoulders if you are shorter. You make a nice arm rest. You always cross your arms if he does it. Its a killer combo pose.

He enjoys fist bumps and high fives.

Not much of a hugger in friendships.

Slaps your back, either as a good job or laughing too hard and he needs to hit something.

Romantically:

He enjoys cuddles. a lot. He loves to little spoon and lay on top of you. At first he wasn’t comfortable, afraid he might crush you under his weight but you convinced him he wouldn’t.

Not a PDA guy but will hold pinkies.

He loves to give back hugs and nuzzle into you. Kinda just hangs there while you let him and move on with what you were doing.

He LOVES when you just face plant into his chest and wrap your arms around him. You basically are suffocating yourself in his chest and he eventually tries to push you away for you to breathe.

The second option is when you face plant into his chest and grab his pecs and just squish them like stress balls. Will get flustered the first time you do it and when you do it if someone is around.

Since my man is caked, you will touch his ass when you can. You will also slap it any chance you get. He does the same thing to you. He loves your ass in many ways

____

Ah tysm for reading!! I wanted to make a fic for this man but honestly headcanons were easier. I will more than likely make a part two but if you want to see anything added to this, let me know! I will happily obliged. Or if you want something specific send me an ask <3

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minachuuu · 4 years ago

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Mafia!Red Velvet Reaction to being teased for their soft spot on their S/O

⚠ TW: Swearing, guns, knifes, mention of kidnapping & murder.

Irene

A feared boss in her city, her gang is known for pledging an undying allegiance to her, and while every rival family tries and tries to look for one, it's bold of anyone to believe Joohyun has any type of weakness. But that doesn't mean that she isn't capable of loving.

Of course you knew about her job and her status, but everything about her ruthless reputation sounded so wrong to you. She wasn't sinister, heartless and wicked at all, but a super attentive, caring and sweet girlfriend. Your only connection to that world was your girlfriend, both being completely clear that you didn't want in on the business. But even if Joohyun knew to separate her personal life from her workplace, some of her subordinates sometimes mistake her amiability and cross lines she defends very ardently.

A disappointed and terrified gasp filled the table when a newly promoted subordinate had the guts to get you into the conversation unprompted and even jokingly call you the 'weak spot' of the gang. His laughter started dying after nobody followed him into the joke, only to be instantly cut when the click of a gun was heard at the end of the table.

"It's never a bad time to remind you all of certain rules," Joohyun's mouth was far from a smile, as she waved the point of the gun around the table, finally landing over the petrified man. "Just in case any of you forgot."

The man gulped hard, his hands shaking in the armrests of his chair as Irene went out in a knife-cutting tension rant, enough to make everyone, even the closest members sweat their nerves out.

"... But Y/N name is not to be out of anyone's mouth but mine." Joohyun put away the gun, not lowering her guard and the killing glance. "I hope it's perfectly clear, because I only warn once."

Seulgi

If it wasn't for the fact that Seulgi and some of her gang members were on the most wanted lists across the world, anyone could be fooled into thinking they were a totally normal, high-end suburban family. Since you both started seeing each other more seriously, she was clear about her job and identity, and enthusiastically introduced you to her gang.

Of course you were a little scared at first, but everyone received you with open arms and warm smiles. And even if you wanted nothing to do with the business itself and Seulgi respected that, you couldn't avoid some of the reunions that came with being a partner of the boss.

"I'm trying to close the deal with the casino owner down the strip, but if he doesn't agree with this final terms we'll be forced to get rid of hi-" You arrived at the table with a hot cup of coffee for her, as her tone, face and eyes completely shifted, glowing mesmerized by your image."Thank you sweetheart, come take a seat!"

The rest of the gang at the table started chuckling at the image in front of them: the one and only unbreakable boss, all melted at the sight of her lover. She scanned around, taken aback by the laughter until one subordinate dared talking.

"Not to be a disrespectful boss," The man was lightly giggling through his words, but intending no harm. "But it's a little hard to take you seriously about exterminating someone when you look like a huggable teddy bear."

All the room laughed at the comment, including Seulgi herself. She could take all the teasing the members wanted, but the moment anyone laid a finger over you, it's a total game over for them and they knew it.

Wendy

There still were some things that you hadn't got completely used to even after all this time dating Seungwan, especially the entire mafia thing. She was such a sweetheart with you that when you joined her and her gang members on the meetings and that sort of stuff, it was so weird for you to listen about kidnappings, money and sometimes even murder coming directly from her mouth as if it was a normal theme for conversation.

The family actually liked you and had a good relationship with you (Pity for anyone who didn't and Seungwan heard about it), but they also knew that you didn't want to get involved with the business at all, so they mostly stayed out of your way and off their mouths. But there were other unfortunate times when someone blurred the lines and dared crossing them.

Driving to your summer home, two subordinates, your girlfriend and you joked around like normal people for once. Everything was doing just fine until the man on the copilot seat decided to abuse the trust of the situation a little too much.

"You should know Y/N," He started chuckling, "I had never seen Seungwan so head-over-heels for a dumb wh*re befor-"

Not a second had passed when the man was already being pinned back to his seat, with a knife pressed against his throat.

"I didn't know you decided to practice comedy!" Seungwan kept laughing as she caressed his skin with the blade. "That was to die for! Don't you think?"

The man immediately apologized, begging for his life with every word, when Seungwan slowly took the knife back to her pocket.

"It's Mrs. Son for you." She snapped, taking your hand in hers. "You wouldn't want me to remind you about respect a second time."

Joy

For being a big mafia boss, Sooyoung was a pretty venerated figure in the city. Her gang was known mostly for investing around the city and being overall pacific, of course, unless provoked. Nobody could deny the closeness of the family either, but it didn't mean it was all flowers and rainbows, it's a power game after all.

One that became a little more tense when you started dating the one and only boss, almost immediately after being welcomed into the family. Some of the other members thought you had no right to be by Sooyoung's side all the time, always locked in her office with her when there were members devoting their entire life to the business, as if being her partner was a position to be employed for.

"I thought the boss would be more intelligent than that," One of the subordinates started, "Y/N has her under their grasp, it's getting ridiculous."

"Y/N doesn't even have the guts it takes to be in the business," Another subordinate followed. "It just makes the boss look wea-"

"Excuse me? It makes me look how?" Sooyoung's voice coming through the door made every person's hair stand on end, as she walked past fixing the cuffs on her shirt.

There was nothing that annoyed her more than those comments. Being the chief of a large and busy family was overwhelming at best and the fact that you were a little more outside of the whole thing wasn't a hindrance, it was her perfect escape from this black and white reality she led.

"There are so many things that can be considered weak, like rumors, infighting, and even that blazer." Sooyoung pointed at one of the subordinates' clothes as she continued talking, everyone's legs shaking from terror. "But loving someone is not and will never be a weakness."

Yeri

When she told you that she was the Kim Yerim, the youngest mafia boss to ever be wanted by governments across the world, you thought it was all a joke. There was no way this caring, funny, kind woman was the one and only leader of the biggest gang in the city. But she was.

And the surprises definitely didn't stop there. The reputation of the gang was absolutely nothing short of coldblooded, so of course it was surprising when the entire family received you as one of theirs into their circle. You stayed off their affairs, but still were a very welcomed presence at dinner and parties. The higher ranked started treating you as one of their own, teasing you and their boss, drinking and laughing, even protecting you when Yerim wasn't around.

But there was an unfortunate day for one clerk though, because just as you both were leaving the dinner party, you over heard from his mouth call you both a 'bootlicker boss and their dumb sidechick'.

"Hey," Yerim's call was enough for the man's face to go translucent, as she pointed back at him. "Follow me to the office please…"

You were safely escorted back to your house, where Yerim arrived later in the evening and refused to talk further on the matter. The next time you came back, you greeted everyone but didn't fail to notice a tense air going around in your presence. That's when it dawned on you.

That clerk that insulted you was nowhere to be seen. Everyone, even you, knew exactly what happened to him.

"It's not bad to remind the rest of their place," Yerim placed a kiss on your cheek as she intertwined her fingers with yours. "If I don't set the boundaries, who else will?"

#red velvet reactions #red velvet imagines #red velvet scenarios #tw: guns #tw: murder #tw: swearing #tw: knives #red velvet irene #red velvet seulgi #red velvet wendy #red velvet joy #red velvet yeri #mafia!au #mafia!red velvet

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sachirou-senpai · 4 years ago

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paradise with kenma?.. 👉👈

Letters from Paradise - Kozume Kenma x Reader

God, I really hope you weren't hoping for something fluffy because this is uh, not. Like, not at all.

Warnings: ANGST, implied death of reader

------------------

Hello love.

I miss you.

Why did you have to go? I wasn't ready. I so wasn't ready. I don't understand how you were so calm.

It was like you knew. Like you knew you were going to die. I was so blind. I mean, how did I not see? The late nights and early mornings spent together? Going to all our favorite spots? Listening to our favorite songs? Doing all your favorite things? It was like one last "huzzah," huh?

I wish I had known. I could've cherished it more. Not like I didn't cherish every fucking moment with you. Cause I do. Did. Fuck. I still haven't gotten used to that. I still talk about you like you're here. It's been 7 years, and I still can't fucking get over it. I can't fucking get over you.

You're just that amazing, huh? Kuroo said I should move on. I didn't talk to him for a week. I debated making it two, but I thought you'd want me to talk to someone besides my fans. Plus, sometimes he cooks for me and I wanted something good to eat. I'm sure you'll forgive me.

Oh, speaking of. I told them about you. My fans, I mean. I cried. So hard. They sent me so many gifts. I left some on your grave. I wonder if you got them.

I keep thinking about our last night together. The last song you ever listened to was Paradise. Was that your way of telling me where you were going? That you'd be okay? God, I hope you're doing okay. Are you healthy now? Are you happy? Safe? Is the pain finally gone? I really, really hope so.

I hope you're doing well in paradise.

Your one and only love,

-Kenma

----

Hi my love!

I miss you too. Every day. Paradise is a weird place. I don't know what I expected, honestly. Time is funky, money isn't really a thing, and everyone is so nice? It's refreshing, but always a bit off-putting. I'll adjust eventually. I've only been here a couple years, and what, I'm supposed to be here for eternity? I got a ways to go.

I can't believe you wrote me a letter! Well I can actually, because I saw you write it, but whatever. I think you'd be happy to know my body is healthy now. I can walk again, I have all my hair, and oh my God, do I look alive. I've never felt better, healthier, more alive. Ironic, right, for someone who's dead? Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm dead. Like I said, paradise is a weird place. I have a body, I can eat and drink, almost everything is the same. I can't tell how old I am, though. Young, still, but definitely older than I was when I died. Twenty, maybe? Twenty-five? I'm not really sure. I know I haven't aged, though, I know that. I wonder how old you'll turn out once you die? Will you be my age? Younger? Older? I kinda hope you're my age. I'd love you regardless, but I'm not sure if I want to fuck a fifty year old in paradise. Yeah, you can touch people here. Once you get here- and if you still love me, of course, I'm not letting you leave my bed for a week.

God, I hope you'll still love me. I'm so scared you'll fall in love again and I'll be stuck in paradise alone, for the rest of eternity. I want you to come now, so that'll never happen. You'll come on your own time, though. Everyone does. As much as I want to see you now, I want you to live your life to the fullest. Even if you do love someone else, I'd cope. Apparently falling in love in paradise is a thing. Don't worry though, I only have eyes for you.

You know I can see you, right? The whole "looking down at you" thing is real. It was a little weird at first, but it's honestly pretty cool. You've gotten pretty famous, huh? Kodzuken is a cool name. It's like a mesh of your names. I like it. And God, you're so rich. Money doesn't really exist here like I said, but you'll have some social status because of it. Oh well. I'd still love you even if you were as poor as a rock. Can a rocks be poor? Well they can be now!

Oh, by the way, I do get the things you put on my grave. I love all the flowers. Nothing better than waking up to a room full of flowers! Do you take requests? I'd kill for some lilies. Oh, and the teddy bears are cute too. I know I can see you whenever I want, but do you think you could put some pictures of you there too? And maybe my friends? I can't see them, so it'd be nice to be able to look them again, even if it's just a picture. Do they miss me? I miss them. So much.

I see Kuroo has been helping you a lot. He's over basically every day. And yes, I'm only a little jealous. I know you're not gay or anything, I just wish it was me, y'know? I see your viewers are really stepping up for you too. I'm glad you told them about me. I think you broke the internet with you crying, though.

I miss you so much, oh my God Kenma. It's fucking unreal. I wish you were here. I don't really want to go back, to be honest. I like feeling alive. So I can't wait for you to join me. Join me in paradise.

Perhaps I was taken too early, but at least I'm not suffering, right?

Love you more than life itself,

-Yours truly

-----

yeah i'm crying yep uh huh yeah uh fuck...yeah

taglist: @beanst0ck @oof-she-needs-therapy @tendouthighs @warmbearhugs @old-me-is-gone @oyasenpai

send an ask to be added to my taglist!

MASTERLIST IS HERE

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randomidiocyncrazies · 4 years ago

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going into more detail about the P2/P4/P5 Persona Q idea, I’m thinking of breaking the cast into the following chunks:

P2 IS: Tatsuya, Lisa, Eikichi and Jun (separated from Maya in Xibalba)

P2 EP: Maya, Ulala, Baofu and Katsuya (before Tatsuya officially joins the party but after the P1 party member leaves?)

P4: entire IT (cultural festival like in PQ, or after fighting the culprit)

P5: all PTs (before Casino heist like PQ2)

Having the P2 cast all come from the EP timeline with Lisa, Eikichi and Jun getting accidentally involved & regaining their IS memories works too, but the storyline would have to revolve around that + Tatsuya’s reaction to justify introducing that plot element imo, cause it’s A LOT to deal with. Also if the overarching plot is centered on P2 (particularly the IS party members), then why are the P4 and P5 casts involved? Also while I think it’d be interesting to re-introduce Philemon and Nyarlathotep to the Persona setting and have them play a bigger part—especially since Nyarly isn’t banished until the end of EP—their involvement might skew the plot too heavily towards P2? (although I admit the “nobody remembers this adventure” ending of PQ games would work especially well for Lisa, Jun and Eikichi here)

tbh PQ had quite a lot of nods to P2 IS (the clock tower, school mysteries + moving statue urban legend on P4-side, and the true form of the main antagonist). I kinda like the idea of the setting being a fake school like PQ, with details of the school influenced by the persona users when they arrive, but the story might have to be tweaked a bit (different final boss probably, and maybe bring in more themes in P2/4/5).

potential themes

I liked that PQ and PQ2 had plots that were ultimately about the new characters, since it justifies their inclusion (and i think it’s a bit unfair if the game focuses too much on the cast of a particular game). I have mixed feelings about some of the execution of PQ and PQ2, but I do appreciate the intent behind it. I do think reinforcement of the games’ themes could help make the overarching story more cohesive, so here are some potential themes with P2, P4 and P5 in mind:

rumors, gossip and the role of mass media are important in all 3 (4) persona games here: P2 antagonists manipulate various media to generate rumors, and in turn manipulate rumors to bring about the end of the world; the Midnight Channel in P4 reacts to local gossip and it’s about the casual dehumanization of individuals through media (mostly TV); in P5 people’s perception of the PT is literally a plot point, and the game reminds you of the PT approval rating almost constantly

(distorted) memories is primarily a P2 thing (”worse than death\ forgotten”, Nyarlathotep’s manipulation of Jun and Philemon’s deal to the IS kids, Tatsuya’s ‘sin’) but it could work with the mystery aspect of PQ games. Distorted memories arguably lead to distorted self-perception (P5), and uncovering the truth is P4′s jam

as mentioned in the previous post, the tension between P5′s teenage rebellion and P2 EP’s adult guidance could be really fun to explore and incorporate into the plot. Persona games are about coming of age, but with EP there’s also a secondary theme of guiding the younger generation and fully grappling with adulthood—the heroines of PQ and PQ2 are quite young, but I can potentially see the new character(s) being a little older here (maybe 17-18?)

stroll ideas

Of course the reason why this idea exists in the first place is all the potential interactions between everyone! There’s just so much potential with all the different dynamics and topics they can discuss :3 Here are a few ideas:

Stomping Grounds: P2/4/5 discuss where and how they bust Shadows. P2 “we had to sleep in dungeons sometimes!!!” is incredibly envious that demons aren’t running around the real world for the others. P2 and P4 are jealous of P5 for not having to repair/replace ruined clothes (”you just think about cool clothes and they appear on you?!” “man we should try that in Xibalba...” “it’s really not that simple! Morgana can explain it better, but basically it’s our mental image of rebellion” etc etc).

Lisa’s Brutal Makeover Corner: Teddie gets jealous when Lisa demonstrates her makeup skills on Jun and wants to get dolled up too—he won the Yasogami cross-dressing pageant after all! He has to be the prettiest!!!

Butterfly Effect: several P4 and P2 characters try to use P5 cast’s knowledge to their advantage, but is stopped by the detective trio to prevent potential time paradoxes

Say It With Flowers: Jun and Haru (and Yukiko?) discuss flower language, share gardening tips, and swap demon/shadow intimidation tactics. Everyone around them is slightly afraid of their enthusiasm on the topic...

Fashion Gurus: Eikichi and Yusuke have a discussion about ~aesthetics~ and comment on their companions’ styles. Kanji is roped into the argument

Fashion Gurus Strike Again: Ulala, Ann and Rise discuss latest fashion trends and comment on the others’ fashion choices

The Audiophiles’ Alliance: Futaba and Yosuke chat about headphones and the greatest bops (with Futaba lamenting she can’t make him eat his words because the song she’s thinking of doesn’t exist yet in his time). Eikichi—aka the great Michel-sama—senses a prime opportunity to get some new fans...

Strangers in a Familiar Land: Lisa and Ann get into how people tend to act... weird about them due to their foreign looks; Teddie, on the other hand, loves the attention his human form gets from the people around town (and the girls conclude that Teddie would probably get into trouble in a big city)

Everybody Loves Kung Fu Fightin’: Makoto, Ulala, Lisa and Chie show off their moves and swap training tips. Lisa and Chie talk about their favorite martial arts movies and convinces the others to check them out

Big Bro’s Worries: Katsuya and Yosuke complain about their younger brothers, while P4 and P5 protags are slightly smug that they don’t get that much trouble from their sisters, especially P4 protag

Velvet Room attendants

Since P2/4/5 all have multiple Velvet Room attendants, they’re gonna double up on some jobs to avoid over-crowding:

P2: Demon Artist: he’s in charge of the Workshop. Unlike the other attendants he’s human, so Margaret and the twins are probably intrigued/unsettled by him and Marie might also be curious as someone else who also stays at the Velvet Room but isn’t really an attendant

P2: Nameless & Belladonna: they handle the healing service. They can sense something unusual with the P2 cast due to the split timelines, but it has no bearing on the plot. I’m on the fence whether to include a healing service at all, but if there is one I think it suits them, since their music is supposed to put guests at ease

P4: Margaret & Marie: like their PQ and PQ2 roles, Margaret manages the Persona Compendium and Fusions, and Marie handles skill cards

P5: Caroline and Justine: the twins handle the quests, since Margaret does the fusions. Caroline enjoys ordering the persona users about

[you can find more on this AU tagged under PQ Triple]

#persona 2 #persona 4 #persona 5 #p5 #p4 #p2 #persona q #pq #PQ Triple #PQubed #ric talks persona

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crazyfreckledginger · 5 years ago

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Jean D’Arc x Reader - “Dating Jean D’Arc Would Include...”

Requested by anon: “Hello! Hope you’re doing well ^^ Can you do a “Dating Jean d’Arc would include…” hc?”

A/N: Hope you like it! ^^

Warning: Smut at the end but it’s stated!

You were curious about his captivating, sculpture-like beauty.

He was like a statue, flawless.

But by the pain in his eyes, you could tell he thought the opposite.

He stayed with you the first night you stumbled into the mansion, scared and overwhelmed.

Jean was being more than kind and gentlemanly towards you and it really helped you out.

Although it looked like he was controlling something within himself, like he was on edge constantly around you and you wonder if it’s something you did.

When you found out through Arthur that everyone were vampires, you asked Jean about it, and why he seemed on edge the first night.

You understood that his entire weird behaviour was because he was craving blood and felt extremely guilty about it.

You really wanted to do something for him, he was there for you, fighting the urge the whole night, but it’s going to be annoying for him if you were close to him so you were at a loss.

Having settled down and helped out Sebastian with chores, you didn’t see the beautiful man after that and it worried you.

Napoleon was the first to catch on your worry and he questioned you about it.

It was like he was sent from above, answering all your questions and helping you pay him back.

You were comfortable, enough to drop a question that had itched at you.

Everyone else was a vampire as well -- except Sebastian right? How come everyone seemed unbothered around you but it seemed so hard for Jean?

You had initially thought that maybe the others adjusted better or something?

You were in absolute shock when you learned that he was starving himself regularly, it made absolute sense.

But why did he choose to become a vampire if he starved himself? Did he regret the decision that much?

Napoleon helped but it also lead to a lot of other questions.

Fortunately, he proposed you attend when they spare, and you did.

Jean was so elegant, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

Similarly, he stole glances in your direction regularly, curious.

Why were you so interested in him? Out of all the residents? He wasn’t annoyed about it but he didn’t understand.

You spoke at the end, Napoleon eyeing you both with a smirk.

Surprisingly, he was easy to talk to, despite how reserved or distant he seemed at first.

Inspecting every single detail about his behaviour so you knew when to take her leave.

Surprisingly, he didn’t get to being on edge and it was a really pleasant evening.

After that, you got close, it was clear he didn’t want to get too close as he tried to push you away a few times.

It didn’t work and over time, you guys really started developing feelings for each other.

Which is when it started taking a toll on Jean and he was taking more measures to keep you away from him.

Mozart had had enough and slapped some sense into him, Napoleon came to you to listen to you.

As in, you were in the sparring room on your own, in your own thoughts and he came by, surprised to see you there.

Jean got an earful by Mozart and it motivated him to face you.

Which he did, Theo was eating pancakes at the dinner table and told him where you headed out.

It was easy to find you, but Jean saw you sitting beside Napoleon, who was listening to you intently.

He knew Jean was there though.

Walking into the room, both of you watched him, you stood up immediately.

The man didn’t know he was getting jealous, which explained why he wasn’t speaking and glancing around the place.

He looked up towards his friend who was chuckling softly.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” he smiled, walking up to him and placing his hand on the man’s shoulder, “and you don’t need to be jealous, Jean.”

Said man’s eye widened and his cheeks flushed, matching your expression.

With another laugh, the other vampire had disappeared.

It was awkward at first, there was alot of talking and such -- and struggling, but everything ended with a passionate kiss.

You helped him with his blood issue, giving him blood after a small compromise.

He’s pretty shy when it comes to PDA, but hand holding, he really likes when you’re in town.

You like giving him a shy peck on the cheek every now and again.

He blushes every time.

Also hugging him because he’s one tall elegant man omg.

You really like cuddling him, he’s so big and you feel so at peace in his arms.

He likes it as well but he’s a little shy to say that.

It’s basically you holding his hand or hugging him in one way or another, in public he doesn’t respond with it, in private he does, but in both scenarios, he can’t help but feel happy.

It was still a strange thing for him because he wasn’t used to having someone take care of him and him being so passionate about taking care of you.

Your newfound relationship also surprised all the residents, every time.

Even at the dinner table when you whisper something to Jean and he leans down to listen to you.

Still catches them off guard.

But they know you’re the best person that can help him and they all support you.

Which is a little awkward when it comes to Arthur, asking all types of inappropriate questions.

Jean is a little flushed as well but pretty good at hiding it, grasping your hand and politely telling Arthur to stop.

Romantic nights, a lot of them.

Playing with his hair when he puts his head in your lap.

Horse riding together, he taught you how to but he still prefers having you in the same saddle.

Taking care of the horses together.

He also taught you the basics of fencing since you were so curious about it.

Putting his cape on in your shared room.

Kissing his nose.

And putting his gloves on.

He follows you into town when you go grocery shopping. It feels really domestic and he really enjoys it, plus you are better protected, it puts his mind at ease.

You pepper him with a lot of kisses in bed because he’s a soft boy who deserves it.

You hold him very close during the night because you don’t want to let him go -- he doesn’t complain at all.

In bed, he prefers spooning you or having most or not all of your body weight on him, it’s comforting.

Subconsciously gives you kisses on the forehead in his sleep, sometimes he mumbles as well.

Basically he’s a big teddy bear when you’re this close.

NSFW

You introduced the notion of hickeys to him and he really enjoyed it.

He won’t stop you if you want to leave him some, you love when he leaves a few as well.

Not obvious however, the teasing from everyone else would be insufferable.

He’s extremely gentle most of the time, very romantic, although not always consciously.

Jean isn’t rough with you, in any way, shape or form so it was really awkward when you spoke up about how you wanted to try a little rougher, dirtier sex.

He was caught off guard, naturally, and it was a little hard for him to try it out, but he asked for advice, you helped him as well.

Baby step after baby step, he became more skilled in bed, knowing what you liked, and he was open to experimenting.

He’s very thankful for everything you’ve done for him, he’s grown more confident in every sense of the world and he wouldn’t have it any other way, you’re so precious to him.

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poetzproblem · 5 years ago

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Have You Ever Really? Part V

Author's Note: Part V to close out this series of ficlets. It's a bit different. Those who don't like Santana might want to skip it.

Under the cut, or read at FF.Net or AO3.

It's been a long, strange summer.

Strange in not bad ways, as far as Santana Lopez is concerned. She's not exactly marching through the streets of Lima waving any rainbow flags, but she and Brittany are finally together. Together, together—the way God and Ellen and the entire fucking golf team intended.

She and B are back on the cheerios for their senior year, and so is Quinn—complete with her new, short (sexy) haircut, her fucking annoying (and weird) good mood, and her mysterious blink-and-you-miss-her disappearing acts the moment she gets her ass out of practice.

If Santana didn't know better, she'd think the bitch is getting laid.

Problem is, Santana does know better, and she still thinks the bitch is getting laid.

She just can't quite figure out by who.

Quinn had dropped Finnsufferable's dopey ass last year and hadn't taken him back despite him predictably ping-ponging right back to her as soon as he finally figured out Berry was serious about trying out the ladies.

Puckerman is back to banging everything in a skirt since Lauren dumped him, and no matter how pathetic Quinn can be, she'd never put up with his two-timing bullshit.

Trouty Mouth got dragged to Kentucky by his parents, and even if he was still around, Santana doubts he'd be giving Quinn her happy since he'd been all up in Mercedes's business before he'd left.

Chang is still with other Chang, despite her weird infatuation with the midget after the big coming out.

So the only person Santana suspects it might be is the one person it just can't.

Because even if Quinn hadn't smacked Streisand upside the head for serenading her in glee last spring, she also hadn't gone running into her tiny little arms. She'd just soaked up the attention like the vain bitch she is and then gone back to pretending it never happened. It was actually kind of sad to watch.

Funny.

But sad.

Hell, Berry's take on I'm Yours right after Finn had blown Nationals for them had been kind of fun. She'd even managed to keep her ogling of Quinn on the subtle side—well, for her.

But the next day's rendition of She's Always A Woman had caused all kinds of secondhand embarrassment throughout the room. Seriously. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would have guessed that Quinn wouldn't be thrilled with those lyrics. Frankly, Santana was surprised Berry had gotten off with only a Fabray glare and a weak-ass storm out.

The following day had featured an impassioned cover of I Want To Know What Love Is that made everyone but Schuester cringe. No one should ever willing choose a Foreigner song. (Except that Quinn hadn't seemed to hate it as much as everyone else had. She'd actually seemed kind of amused by it.)

Thank God the school year had ended. Otherwise there would have undoubtedly been more serenades after Berry's final choice of I'll Be. (Which wasn't terrible. Quinn had even looked a little teary-eyed after that one. And Santana swears she'd seen her stuffing a teddy bear into her bag before taking off for summer vacation.)

Frankly, Quinn could probably do a lot worse than Rachel Berry.

Who's she kidding? Quinn's entire dating history is worse than Rachel Berry.

If Santana was wondering whether Berry's crush had petered out over the summer, she gets her answer in their first glee meeting of the new school year—right after they spend twenty minutes arguing over the best way to attract new members now that they're down two bodies.

Rachel has another song.

"To welcome us all back," is what she says, but nobody buys it when she starts making those big moony eyes at Quinn again. She'd managed to get through the entire meeting without doing it. She'd sat her ass in the front row and barked out suggestions for the year without even a glance to Quinn—or to Finn, who's still pouting over his single status. But damned if she doesn't flip that crazy obsessive switch right back into Quinn-mode in the blink of an eye.

This time, it's to the tune of the Beatles.

"Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me. I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe and how."

Santana is sitting right next to Quinn today, so she gets the experience of having this serenade aimed in her general direction. And okay, she has to admit—only to herself and very reluctantly—that having the full force of Rachel Berry's voice and expressive eyes directed at you for a love song is pretty fucking alluring. Like, Santana doesn't even like her (much), but she'd totally bang her after this.

If she didn't have Brittany, obviously.

But she does have Brittany, so she sends a sweet smile to her own girlfriend and thinks about banging her as soon as they can get the hell out of here.

"Somewhere in her smile she knows That I don't need no other lover. Something in her style that shows me. I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe and how."

Santana glances over at Quinn, trying to gauge her reaction. She expects the same cool indifference from last year, but—well, fuck! Quinn is wearing that same weird smile that she's had on all summer—at least until she notices Santana's eyes on her, then she schools her features like the fucking pro she is.

"You're asking me, will my love grow. I don't know, I don't know. You stick around, now it may show. I don't know, I don't know."

Santana thinks she knows.

Apparently the head bitch isn't as immune to Berry as she wants them all to believe. She's just a fucking closet case.

"Something in the way she knows And all I have to do is think of her. Something in the things she shows me. I don't want to leave her now. You know I believe and how."

There's some applause when Rachel is finished, but it's pretty weak, and Santana supposes it's because they'd all been hoping she would have moved on by now. Santana is thinking she hasn't moved on because she hadn't actually needed to, but Quinn sure as hell isn't making any moves to claim the girl.

"Why do you keep trying to hurt me?" Finn whines before grabbing his bag and stalking out of the room.

"Jerk," Quinn scoffs under her breath, rolling her eyes at his storm out.

"You got something to say, Fabray?" Santana taunts, arching an eyebrow.

Rachel gazes up at her expectantly, but Quinn only shrugs. "Nope."

Santana watches Rachel's face fall in disappointment, and an expression of remorse flashes across Quinn's face before it's gone again in the blink of an eye. Santana frowns, wondering just what the hell these two are playing at with their little back-and-forth, but then Schuester is calling it a day, and everyone is packing up to leave.

With one last look up to Quinn, Rachel sighs, gathers her bag, and slips out of the room. Quinn watches her go like a hawk stalking its prey, and then she's grabbing for her own bag in a rush, but Santana stops her from jogging down the risers with a hand on her arm.

"Are you seriously gonna let her keep doing that?" she demands, ignoring the impatient annoyance that radiates off of Quinn at being detained. "I mean, it was fun the first five times, but now it's just painful to watch."

Quinn scowls at her, jerking her arm away. "Why do you even care?"

"Hey, I'm just tryin' to help you out," Santana drawls with a smirk. "Unless you, I don't know, actually like Berry singing love songs at you." She'd wager good money that Quinn fucking loves it, but the fear in her eyes when Santana says it is all too recognizable. She'd seen it enough in the mirror last year, so she should probably ease up and wait for Quinn to creep out of the closet on her own. But fuck that! "I know you're a bitch and all, but I didn't think even you were cruel enough to string a queer girl along just to make yourself feel better."

Quinn takes a menacing step toward her, looking about two heaving breaths away from slapping her—or, you know, actually coming out. "You know nothing about me," she growls.

"Please don't fight," Brittany pleads, immediately stepping between them. "Santana isn't being mean. She's just worried about Rachel." And Quinn instantly deflates, the anger draining right out of her.

"I'm not," Santana denies quickly. (She is.) "I'm just bored with the daily serenades and the pathetic loves eyes. You should be too," she reminds Quinn suspiciously. "How many times does Berry have to embarrass herself in front of everyone before you finally put her out of our misery for good?"

Santana figures the question works both ways. Either Quinn is leading Berry on for her daily ego boost—something even Santana wouldn't do now that she knows firsthand what it's like to want a girl you can't have—or she's not and is keeping them in the closet to protect her own reputation while she lets Rachel sing her little heart out to everyone's ridicule and pity. Either way, Quinn needs to fucking stop letting Rachel do that to herself. This one-sided bullshit doesn't fly with Santana.

Quinn doesn't answer. She just starts chewing on the corner of her lip with this pained look in her eyes.

Santana sighs in defeat. "C'mon B. Let's go get our lady kisses on," she urges, holding out her hand.

Brittany takes it with a sad smile, walking down the risers next to Santana, but she pauses at the bottom to glance back up at Quinn. "Rachel deserves to have some sweet lady kisses of her own. If you don't want to give them to her, you should let her get them from someone else."

Santana can't resist glancing up at Quinn to see her reaction to that, smirking a little when she sees the unhappy scowl and clenched fists. Yeah—that's totally jealousy bleeding out of her pointy, little ears. So much for a weirdly happy Quinn.

Of course, Santana gets infinitely happier once she gets Brittany alone, and she doesn't think about Quinn or Berry again until the next day when it comes time for the inevitable serenade.

Except—it's not Rachel standing in the front of the choir room this time.

It's Quinn.

Santana can't be exactly sure of where this is going until Quinn says, "I present this song without comment." And then, she just knows. Because Quinn is looking right at Rachel when she starts to sing.

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time. Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you."

And yeah—there are gasps all around the room, and she's pretty sure she hears Finnsipid mutter, "What the fuck?"

"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pull me out of time. You hung me on the line. Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."

One glance at Rachel confirms that she's grinning like a loon.

"Maybe I'm a girl. Maybe I'm a lonely girl who's in the middle of something That she doesn't really understand."

And if anyone still has any doubts about what's happening, they pretty much get cleared up when Quinn moves closer to Rachel to sing the next lines.

"Maybe I'm a girl And maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me. Baby, won't you help me to understand?"

And Quinn—that sly bitch—smiles at Rachel and reaches out a hand to her, and of course, Rachel takes it.

Kurt fucking squeals in delight, and Brittany breathes out a quiet, "Yay," as she claps.

Mercedes looks shocked, and Tina looks kind of depressed, and Puckerman looks—well, he's obviously thinking perverted thoughts. Mike just looks confused, and Finn—

Yep. There goes the chair.

"You both suck," he screams as he stomps out of the room, cutting Quinn's serenade short.

She doesn't seem to mind. Neither does Rachel.

"You sang back," Rachel murmurs in wonder, proudly holding Quinn's hand in front of the entire club.

Quinn giggles happily, nodding. "I should have done it yesterday. I'm sorry I waited so long. I just wanted to hear you sing for me one more time before we came out as a couple."

"Wait? You're a couple?" Mercedes asks, still in shock. "Since when?"

Quinn glances at Rachel with a dreamy expression to rival any of Rachel's lovesick ones. "Since she took me stargazing on the very first day of our summer break."

"It was...very enlightening," Rachel adds with a mysterious smile.

Oh, yeah. Quinn is definitely getting laid. Santana can only imagine what they've been up to all summer.

(Really. She's imagining it pretty vividly, and it's kind of super hot. Hey! She's taken, not dead.)

"And if my girlfriend wants to keep singing me love songs everyday, she can," Quinn announces, gazing around the room with a challenging glare. "And you're all going to clap for her. Understood?" She ends with her eyes on Santana, just daring her to comment.

Santana can never resist a dare. "So I guess Berry must be really, really good at loving a woman, huh?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Quinn responds, wrapping a possessive arm around Rachel's waist. And then for some weird reason, she sends this really smug look in Tina's direction before adding, "But you won't."

"I do really love you, Quinn," Rachel murmurs, gazing at Quinn with undisguised adoration.

Quinn returns the look with a disgustingly besotted grin. "I love you too, baby."

And yeah—then they're kissing.

Santana rolls her eyes. Brittany claps again, and Kurt coos. Even Mercedes presses a hand to her heart and says, "Aw."

It's more ew if you ask Santana.

(Not really. It's still kind of hot. There's a lot of tongue and they're both really, really into it. The visuals are pretty inspiring. But she's not admitting that to anyone ever.)

"Get a room," she heckles, shaking her head.

They pull apart with dark eyes, lips slowly curling into matching smirks. Quinn arches a brow. Berry nods. And then they're grabbing their bags.

"Thank you for your continued support, fellow glee-clubbers," Rachel rushes out, gathering her things, "but Quinn and I have a very important prior engagement."

"Come on, Rach," Quinn urges, grabbing her hand and impatiently tugging her towards the door. "My mom won't be home until seven. We can practice...singing."

It's very clear that singing doesn't mean singing. It's probably more like Rachel screaming Quinn's name.

"Well," Santana scoffs, watching them go with an wicked grin, especially when she sees how green Schuester has turned from listening to the exchange. "Have you ever? Really?"

Because she certainly has. Glancing at Brittany, she knows she will be again very soon.

Yeah, she has a feeling it's going to be a long, strange (but awesome) senior year.

#have you ever really?#faberry #ficlet

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

#bunni is gone #alas #mourn they #soon to be departed from the web

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lore-a-lie · 7 years ago

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Chapter 2, Act 2: Lessons of the Gymnopedia

Daily Life

Kaede found them all outside, which Monosuke wasn’t pleased about at all. Despite his earlier implications he was going to make this process as difficult as he could the Ninja Scroll still found its place in what was either the masked ninja’s mask or mouth.

Gonta looked rather guilty upon seeing Kaede, but before she could find out why she was being pulled along by Tenko who was eager to show off her own lab that had recently sprung from the scenery.

It was a welcome relief to see some traditional architecture that wasn’t at all related to Kiyo’s lab. Not that Kaede wasn’t still trying to get her memories of it out of her head.

Or that the kitsune mask the ninja statue wore was an unwelcome reminder of the one of a similar style Kiyo had in one of his cases near a cutesy mask he claimed had some connection to a brutal serial killer who targeted murderers. Nope, definitely not still traumatized by that extended lesson.

Not to say the Ultimate Aikido Master’s lab wasn’t still weird, between the large wooden fighting doll in the back and the odd hanging platforms. Kaede assumed this was related to Tenko’s spin on the art as opposed to being needed for the actual fighting style. (Which fits what was said about these all being made for us rather than our talents. Only Tenko and her Master know what Neo-Aikido even is.)

“Look Kaede, isn’t this awesome?! I could give you some lessons here later if you’d like, you may need them given the type of menaces you keep wasting your precious time on. Actually, that’s a great idea, I should give all the girls here some lessons for self-defense, thanks Kaede!” (... But I didn’t say anything?)

“Maybe another time, things with the fourth floor left me rather… Uh, drained? But thank you for the offer, it could be pretty useful. I’m not sure you should be limiting it to just the girls again though.”

Tenko got that look on her face like she was impersonating an insulted dead fish. “... Fine. Kaito maybe. Kibo probably, even if his flexibility is awful and his weight could make things awkward. And while Gonta doesn’t need it he might still be fun to teach. But that’s it! It doesn’t matter how small and punchable he is, Kokichi is off the table! Kiyo too, because I don’t ever want to be in a room alone with that guy. Gives me some bad vibes.” (That’s fair.)

“Then what’s wrong with Ryoma? He’s been a pretty nice guy, and it might be easier for you to train him, Kaito, and Maki at once since I think they already do something similar together sometimes.”

“... I’m… Not sure I’d really want to teach Maki this either… But Ryoma’s a killer too! Why would I want to teach him any of my precious Neo-Aikido?! And even if I did how would I even demonstrate for a person that size? That’d be too much hassle for me, and like Gonta and Maki he doesn’t really need my help.”

There was little point in arguing against that, and Angie came bouncing in anyway to see what was going on putting a halt to that conversation. Monophanie was waddling along after her, like a duckling following its mother, as Kaede focused back on why she came.

“Hey, hey~ What’re you two doing in here huh? Has Kaede taken an interest in joining Atua’s efforts?”

“Efforts? I mean I came by since we found a Flashback Light in the computer room that opened up with the new labs. Also, yours is one of the two that opened Angie! It's just down the hall from Kiyo’s, so location aside I hope you’ll enjoy it. We just thought it might be good to regroup in the dining hall if you’re all done exploring too, to trade notes and see what we’ll do about the light. If that’s okay with everyone?”

Angie’s disposition shifted again, as if taking things more seriously for the moment to think, before going back to her bubbly bouncy persona. “Hmm, That will probably be for the best, for now, we are just about done here. It will be good to establish some new rules too. Kibo, Kirumi, and Tsumugi are likely already on their way there anyway, since they had nothing else to do around here since only Tenko’s lab appeared. So let’s all get going, C'mon, C'mon!” (New rules? For the killing game, like Monodam gave?)

When Kaede got there with Angie and Tenko everyone else was back and ready to talk about their discoveries. General information about all of the labs was shared, and Angie for her credit wasn’t the least bit disturbed by her new floormate or the descriptions of the area around her lab.

Gonta looks like he wanted to talk about something, likely the reason for the guilty expression from before, but the looks from Angie and her cultists was enough to convince him to keep quiet. So things moved onto the discussion of rules, and the tiebreaker scenario Monodam explained. But he wasn’t the only cub trying to endear themselves to the students they clung to in their efforts to solve their fighting.

Monophanie had indeed told Kirumi about another rule of the killing game that had yet to be touched on, regarding body discoveries. Even if the class strongly suspected a missing student was killed, until the requirement regarding students finding and bearing witness to the corpse was met everything would continue to act as if they weren’t dead.

Kibo apparently also pushed the issue and had her concede that even if everyone knew where a body was, without witnesses beyond the killer to “prove” someone was dead the game would continue to proceed as if they were still alive, like a twisted Schrodinger’s cat.

As there weren’t any rules about hiding or destroying bodies the implications of this rule were very concerning. Particularly since the killer themselves would never count as a witness to help get a case started in the first place. (No one knew what happened to the bodies of our other friends either really.)

But it was time to decide on what to do with the Flashback Light. Angie was against it, so Tenko, Kibo, and Gonta followed her lead, but Kirumi and Tsumugi’s curiosity won out to avoid a stalemate. There were too many mysteries that outweighed any risks using it could cause.

The Ultimate Hunt, the purpose of the Killing Game, why they hadn’t been found yet, even where this place was right now were dangerous unknowns that needed to be solved. (If they aren’t how are we supposed to ever get out and go home? Will we all even have homes to get back to? Can the lights return that hope to us those motives took?)

Despite Angie’s warnings to give up hope on leaving this place Kaede flicked the switch and the world around her warped once more. But not to one that made any sense.

Everyone had their own memorial photos, just like those that appear during the trials but with more color to them. This had to be a funeral ceremony, but for all 16 of them at once. People could be heard talking about an accident the occurred while Kaede and her classmates were all trying to escape from some group, but she didn’t know them or understood what this was meant to mean.

All this did was leave them with more questions. The way everyone spoke indicated they all shared this same “memory”, despite none of them being present for it. (Why even call it a Flashback Light if it isn’t tied to our specific memories? What are we supposed to do with this information? Or at all at this point.)

Monodam and Monophanie looked between themselves and the arguing students, as theories ranging from everyone being dead in some sort of purgatory high school or the memories being taken out of context like merely being part of a school play. Nothing was matching up, and every idea tossed around was soon shown to have more holes in it than swiss cheese when the group considered it.

Only Monosuke was enjoying the discord sewn by the newest batch of worthless memories, much like his father did, while his siblings had a nervous energy about them as they began planning something.

When it was agreed that nothing about the memories made sense the group decided to take a break to cool down and clear their heads best they could. Angie was oddly silent during the discussion but upon the dismissal, she made a beeline for assumably her lab, arms spread out to the side like an angled airplane.

Kaede instead resumed her silly self-given goal of finding all the Monokuma dolls she could. It was nice having a goal like that to reach, like a scavenger hunt, since after the first trial she already saw a bear that wasn’t there the day before. (And definitely has nothing to do with getting teddy bears to express any frustrations felt towards the monster they are based on. Or finding them cute on their own merits.)

It was a pleasant surprise to find one of these dancing dolls in her own lab, the pink winged figure making overblown leaps in front of her piano. And also rather creepy as she had no way of knowing if this doll was placed here because Monokuma (or his cubs) noticed her morbid little collection, but she tried to ignore those implications as she stashed the toy inside her bag and continued her search outside the school.

Until she overheard a conversation being held near the Shrine of Judgement, past her newest fluffy acquisition found on the stairs leading to it. Her curiosity quickly got the better of her as she tried to slip inside to better listen in on what her fellow students were talking about.

Downsides of having hearing as good as mine I guess, it’s easy to unintentionally listen in on others which I know is kinda rude. Also an upside for when it helps me learn of any fun gossipy stuff I’d be too out of touch to catch otherwise~

“My condolences Ryoma, I know all too well the pain that comes with such a loss.”

“Thanks. I wasn’t really expecting you to understand either. Just because of how…”

“I’m too unsettling for someone to care for in such a way? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard that.” (“Care for in such a way”? What is Kiyo talking about? Is this about their motive videos again?)

“No. How young we all are. It’s weird enough to really get a serious girlfriend this early in life, much less lose them so soon.”

Wait, what, they're talking about girls? THESE two guys of all people had girlfriends already?! I’ve never even been on a date yet! … At least I don’t think I’ve ever been on one. I’ve hung out with guys before I guess, did that count? But what do they mean by “losing them”? They can’t mean...

“Polite of you to say so, but I think your lie is obvious. I suppose in a sense we’ve both been lucky, yes?”

“Strange sort of luck that would need to be. She’d still be alive and content back in America had she never met me.” (Oh… Ouch. Wonder what he means by that, was there an accident? How’d he even meet an American girl? Was she like... normal height or also tiny like him? How different was he before?)

“Do you think she would have been happier had that been case? Every meeting is a once in a lifetime interaction, life is but a series of chance encounters and farewells. Hardly a reason to blame yourself for embracing a golden opportunity. Sorrowful as a leaving may be it changes not the beauty that came before it. There can be a beauty to be found in even the darkest of times if one tries to look.”

“... You might be the most messed up type of optimist I’ve ever heard of, you know that?”

“Kehehe, is that so? An optimist am I, that’s how you chose to see me?”

“Sounds a lot better than calling you a masochist, trying to find anything good out of pain.”

“So better to sound civil than risk calling a spade a spade I take it? How considerate of you.”

“Okay, when you get like this you really can’t blame a guy for being confused why a girl would like you.”

The bluntness of the response only led to more of Kiyo’s laughter, at the indirect admittance of his earlier assessment. “I suppose that will remain my little secret then.”

“Seriously? Nothing? Not a single clue after you got me sharing? Not cool man.” (But Ryoma's still smiling~)

“Just because you answered my questions doesn’t mean you’re entitled to me responding to your own. It’s terribly uncouth for one to “kiss and tell”, wouldn’t you say?”

“Or you just made her up to get me to talk, you seem like the sort of guy who’d do that.” Ryoma’s words were said in a joking tone to Kaede, still hiding nearby, but Kiyo was insulted by the notion regardless.

“Then that is where you’d be completely wrong, even for the purpose of study to lie about such a thing is a line I wouldn’t choose to cross. Far too serious a matter to abuse it in such a way, which is precisely why matters of the heart are not meant to be merely spoken of with others in the first place.” (The big twist here is that Kiyo has been a romantic this whole time? Whaaat? That’s one I didn’t see coming.)

“I dunno, sounds like something a stalker might say.” Ryoma snarked with a smirk. But Kiyo was adjusting better to his sense of humor as he played along with the lighthearted jab better this time.

“I assure you while there may have been allegations and restraining orders in my past they are all completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Those were merely results of miscommunication in regards to my appearance and... tendency to perhaps overindulge in the art of “people watching” outside of fieldwork.” (Ah, okay, thank goodness something here makes sense. Everything is still right with the world.)

Kiyo took the moment to pause for Ryoma’s laughter, which was a rare occurrence to hear his deep chuckle. “Honestly Ryoma, I’m rather hurt you’d accuse me of stalking when Kaede has been spying on our conversation since she caught wind of the word “condolences”. Tell me, has your curiosity been sated yet, or will it take a bit longer for satisfaction to bring this particular cat back?” (WAIT WHAT?! Oh shit, how’d he notice?! And what is he talking about? If you’re going to mess with me make sense first!)

The candy cig actually fell out of his mouth when Ryoma turned around to see Kaede awkwardly squatting behind one of the stone flower pots, blushing hard enough to nearly match their roses now that her cover was completely blown.

After the shock, he displayed his expression went to one used by so many parents before him. He wasn’t mad at her, just disappointed. Unlike Kiyo who hid any possible annoyance felt rather well. His obvious enjoyment caused by pulling the rug out from under her, not so much.

“I, uhh… Sorry! It was originally an accident honest! I’ve always had excellent hearing, but…”

“But you just couldn’t resist some good ol’ teen drama bullshit, could you?” Ryoma asked, rubbing at his forehead as Kaede bashfully nodded.

“I didn’t mean to, I just thought it was unusual to see the two of you hanging out, I’m so sorry.”

“There is truth to this, our conversation began only due to Kokichi’s most recent set of antics. He still hasn’t settled on what role of a jester he should be playing since his more malevolent persona fell apart. He supposedly wasn’t lying about his intent to make an event in protest to Tenko’s poolside shenanigans, as he requested Kaito, Ryoma, and I to join him at the Casino later tonight. Given Kaito’s personality, I am inclined to believe Maki may be in attendance as well, given she wasn’t a part of Tenko’s group before from what I gather. Would you care to join us?” (I’ll just not mention I was a part of Tenko’s party then.)

“Sure, I guess? I haven’t really been there much since it didn’t look like many of the games were working yet but it might be fun to be there with a group. But what about Gonta and Kibo?”

“When we asked before he said “no traitors allowed”, since Gonta ended up joining Angie and Kibo was at the girl’s thing before, so he’s just being a brat again. Probably anyway. Who even knows with this guy?”

“Well that’s good for youse guys but all this bullshit’s gonna hafta wait a bit. We have ourselves another nice little present for you bastards out in the gym, and you don’t want us and our Exisals to cause any trouble you better get down there ASAP. No delays, no excuses, vah menos!”

And as suddenly as Monosuke appeared to give the three those orders he was gone, toddling off in the direction of the school. But with little room or reason to object they swiftly followed him, joining everyone else waiting for the monokub’s newest motive. (Why do this if most want to end the game?)

The crowd in the gym again had itself become neatly divided with Angie’s group near the left wall while Kaito, Kokichi, and Maki waited for Kaede and the others along the right-hand side. Too bad Angie and Kaito were arguing again closer to the middle, likely encouraging keeping everyone divided this way, while Monophanie and Monodam kept turning to look at whoever was speaking as if they were watching a particularly intense game of tennis. Well, Monophanie turned, Monodam’s head swiveled.

“Atua says there is no place for murderers in a peaceful academy life like we should strive to have. Ryoma and Maki have too many ties to the horrors of death to simply roam unchecked.”

“And I say that's a load of crap and you know it! What you have us do, lock them up over something they ain’t fuckin’ gonna do in the first goddamn place?! Ryoma already paid for his crimes, and you can’t just going around judging either of them like this!” Kaito shouted, while Kirumi tried to argue for this idea.

“This could be as much as a help to their safety as it is for the rest of us, as if they are supervised then no one else would have the opportunity to attack them out of a misplaced sense of paranoia.”

“Speaking for yourself there?" Kokichi chimed in, to Kirumi's obvious displeasure. "Would you also be one of the people that would be “supervised” after your own little stunt against Ryoma? I’d be more than happy to keep an eye on my mom if you want me to~”

“Of course not, she’s also a member of the student council! She may have lost her temper before but she’s better now, and she’s in agreement with the rest of us so she’s not a danger to anyone at all.” Tenko argued, not that Kokichi was buying anything as he gave her and Kirumi skeptical but nonplussed looks.

“Hey, everyone let’s settle down. What are you talk-” Kaede tried to ask, before the Monosuke decided to take control of the situation instead.

“Listen up ya chumps, let’s get right down to business! ‘Cuz we’ve got anotha great motive for you all.”

“It won’t matter, nothing you can do will make us participate in your killing game anymore. We have Atua to help guide us now.” (Good god Kibo you really have been drinking the kool-aid haven’t you?)

“You-Misunderstand, That-Is-Not-What-This-Motive-Is-For!”

“What are you talking about? A scary motive like this was left behind by Daddy, so of course it can be used to help with the killing game if Monosuke wants it to.”

“That’s-Not-Why-I-Agreed-To-It. This-Is-A-Motive-That-Can-Bring-Everyone-Closer-Together! Because-It- Can-Return-A-Friend-The-Game-Took-Away-From-Us-All-Before.”

“Us all”? Not “You all”? I thought he and Monophanie only started hanging out with us because they were fighting with Monosuke. Is he really trying to “be friends” with us now because of the problems with him and his siblings? Why do that?

“Can it, ya tin can! That isn’t how this’ll work you hear me?! So listen up you fucks and listen good! This here motive is no mere book ya’know. It’ll be the most terrifying shit you’ve ever seen. Because what we got right here is the groundwork to get you all a new “transfer student”... Of a sort. Right Monophanie?” Monosuke began to explain with a snicker as he passed the duty to his sister like a twisted set of show announcers.

“Of course Monosuke! Because the place they’ll be “transferring” from is Beyond The Grave ~ Isn’t that just the most fear-inducing thing you’ve ever heard?! You’ll be able to resurrect one of the four people who have died in this killing game back to life, to welcome them back into the class.”

“Correct! But-This-Will-Only-Work-On-One-Of-The-Four. We’re-Sorry. You-Will-Understand-Why-When- You-Read- How-It-Works-In-The-Necronomicon-We-Will-Provide-For-You. But-” Monodam tried to add, wanting to be a part of this two as his siblings made no attempt to include him, but he was quickly shot down.

“But nothin’! And no “sorries” neither, this is a fuckin’ gift to you all, so you bastards better be grateful. So you gotta choose carefully you schmucks, ‘cuz you only have this one chance. And who even knows what your student of choice will be like. Same as they were before, like nothin’ happened to ‘em in the first place? Gross ass zombies still fucked up from how they died? Somethin’ in between? Or maybe they’ll be like someone completely new, who fuckin’ knows?! Won’t that be a blast to find out, huh?”

What?

This can’t be real.

They can’t be serious.

This can’t be happening.

Could I really talk to Shuichi again?

Everyone else seemed to be having similar thoughts as the Monokubs derailed themselves yet again, Monophanie objecting over how she was never told how “icky” the transfer student could be. So the fact they genuinely don’t know what will come of this appeared to be honest at the very least, and if not this being the first she’s heard of it does incline one to think the student will be returned to the class hale and whole. (Even if that may just be wishful thinking on my part. But this doesn’t sound like something a resurrection manual would just leave out, unless the cubs didn’t even bother reading all of it.)

“There’s no way bringing back the dead could really be possible… Right?” Tsumugi quietly asked.

“R-Right, ‘course it isn’t! They’re just being stupid to rile us up, no way in hell it’s possible!”

Kaito insisted, much to Tenko’s displeasure.

“Hey! Aren’t you the degenerate who likes to claim the “impossible is possible”? Why are you changing your tune now, huh?! This could bring Himiko back, you coward!”

To that, Kiyo was the first to make his objection. “Now I may be one inclined to doubt a skepticism born from the hubris that often comes with a purely scientific background but I must concur with Kaito. While many cultures around the globe may have indeed made their own twists on rituals made to grant safe passage for a soul from one life onto the next to one instead meant to bring a person back from whatever “afterlife” they believe in, none have ever truly succeeded in such a lofty goal. And if merely communicating with someone who has been lost to us is what would be desired from using their suspect methods, we already had the means of contacting any departed spirit in my own lab which would be a more trustworthy alternative.”

“Uhh, wait a sec, aren’t you contradicting yourself there? And I’m not sure “trustworthy” would be the word you’re looking for.” (Like you can be one to talk Kokichi. Stupid jerk. Both of you.)

“Not at all, a spirit needs a vessel to best communicate, and no ritual exists that can bring back the flesh of the departed in such a way to sustain it to a point one could call it “life”. A soul might be given a temporary medium or even “haunt” a particular person or object so they can continue to interact with this world, and that could be seen as returning from the great beyond to some extent, but never in a way that leaves any of the parties involved properly satisfied. Nothing like what is being suggested-”

But thankfully before Kiyo could get more into his rant Maki cut him off.

“Then that’s fine, no need to go into it more than that. If even the closest thing we could have to an occultist specialist doesn’t believe it could be possible then the idiot must be right for once. No more need for discussion. We don’t need to go around needlessly humoring dangerous motives anymore-”

“Is it only natural for one so quick to end the lives of others be as quick to rule out bringing them back?”

Maki’s glare was enough to nearly chill the room, already feeling cooler than it should as the subject was giving everyone goosebumps, but Kirumi took her anger head on while barely batting a lash.

“Atua agrees with Tenko and Kiyo. It wouldn’t really be so strange for this to be possible in an Eden such as this.” And with that said Angie’s people were all ears, which helped to keep the tensions between the assassin and maid from escalating any further. “Nyahaha! Come now, everything in this new world of ours is odd enough isn’t it? How can we even really know the ones we believe are “dead” really are? Their bodies get taken from us so quickly, “crime scenes” cleaned up so thoroughly as if nothing had happened, and even “executions” so over the top that it just couldn’t be possible, right? So far past any suspension of disbelief that all of this must surely be impossible, shouldn’t it?" She asked, but they felt more like rhetorical questions than anything else.

At the silence of the others considering her words gave her to the opportunity, she continued. "Atua surely thinks so. For Atua knows our dead can be “returned” to us even if “resurrection” is indeed impossible. Because no one is really dead here. They never were.” (But that’s not possible! We checked the bodies. Not me specifically, but Shuichi, Korekiyo, and Maki would have all surely noticed this! ... Right?)

“Do you honestly believe a mere imitation could capture the sensation of a warm body growing cold? Surely you jest. And even if my own assessment of Himiko’s condition was admittedly amateurish then Maki would have easily caught such a massive discrepancy with a background such as her own, yes?” Korekiyo retorted, echoing Kaede’s own thoughts. But something about what he said made Kokichi stare blankly at him for a moment, before recovering enough to return to his cheshire cat grin. Had it been any faster Kaede isn’t sure she would have even noticed the brief change, or catch the colder look in his eyes.

“We can’t prove they aren’t at any rate, look at the levels of technology the existence of Monokuma, the Monokubs, and the Exisals shows this place has access to. Even if the murder victims were real then a means of saving them before the point of no return may have indeed been possible, and they are the only bodies Maki has ever been close enough to check.”

But even if we didn’t see Miu’s body, we saw Shuichi’s. He was shot- er stabbed?- through the head. He was moving before the blow landed, we never lost sight of him in that horrible room, and there couldn’t be any way to recover from a brain injury like that if nothing else right? T-that had to be real. No matter how much we wished it wasn’t. Or how often.

“But wasn’t the basis of wanting Angie to lead in order to avoid doing what the game wanted by using the motives Monokuma and his cubs gave us like I encouraged before? Is it really okay for you to change tunes like this because this one would be more convenient for all of us if it’s true? I… I want you to be right Angie. Honest, I do. It’d be great if everyone was still alive safe somewhere else, away from here. But we’ve been burned before, and I don’t want a repeat of that. Please let’s just think things through.”

Kaede’s point did raise some debate. This had turned Angie’s initial point on its head, but the bond of the cult, their “faith” in her and by extension Atua, was strong enough to ignore the hypocrisy at play.

“It doesn’t matter in end, student council still able to protect everyone! And Angie our good president. And she says motive to save student won’t be used to hurt anyone. If book says rescuing not-really-dead friends mean other friends need to be hurt to work then we won’t listen to book, promise. No worries!” Gonta claimed with a comforting smile and absolute confidence.

“So that’s what this is Gonta? A “Student Council” to end the killing game?” Kaede asked.

“Yup! So Kaede no worry no more. No more killings happen, that why Gonta and Tenko here! We enforce rules Atua makes so people no get hurt or hurt each other again. No more disagreements.”

“So you think that gives you the right to just set this up under everyone’s noses? Like we’d ever agree to this. All this will lead to is either more disagreements or Angie trying to set herself up as a tyrant Gonta.”

Ryoma spoke up with a level head, and Gonta looked taken aback by this. But it was likely a good thing Ryoma said something first as Kokichi looked nearly seething at what was going on. Not intentionally either, as Keade saw him try to fall back onto his smiling mask from the corner of her eye, trying to keep herself from drawing attention to him.

No one else noticed it, as he was near the back of the crowd while Kiyo took to rambling on about the nature of cults and the reasons why they form in places like this, giving him time to re-adjust. And when he did he cheerily went along with Kiyo’s rant in order to highlight the means of Angie’s manipulations. Even though he should know they wouldn’t listen.

So I was right. He’s not okay with this either, hell he’s even more bothered by how Angie’s doing this than I honestly am. This just means we have to find another way of bringing us all back together.

“Please everyone, let’s just calm down-”

“Indeed, no need for anyone to worry at all! The student council will take care of the resurrection ritual so no one else has to worry about anything. Atua will decide what we will do with it at a later time.”

And with that Angie gladly took the book from Monosuke’s eager paws and tightly held it to her chest as she began skipping away from the conversation. It’s not like there would have been reasoning with her anyway.

Kaito looked nearly as sick as Kaede felt over things ending on a note like that but there was nothing else that could be done so everyone began to disperse. Kaede took another look around the campus for monokuma dolls to try and lose the ache in her chest before trying to go to the Casino.

She had found another before nighttime began, but it came with its own unwelcome discovery. The little bear was just sitting in the boiler room that led to their best possible exit, but it wasn’t like before.

The manhole cover was put snugly back into place and covered in large rocks so no one could try to attempt to remove it again. It was all too heavy for this to be a mistake, but at the same time, it hadn’t been moved before Himiko… Before the second trial was held. So while it could be a Monokub’s doing with their Exisals that may not be the case.

Was this why Gonta looked guilty before? Was this Angie’s plan? Why can’t she understand staying isn’t an option?! Rantaro died to prove this fact to us already! If he hadn’t we all would have. Except for the mastermind and maybe anyone else who might not have been “forced” to play this killing game.

At least she’ll be able to bring this up to Kokichi or Kaito after the get-together. Even if she told everyone at the Casino what happened it’s unlikely any of them would be able to lift the manhole cover to fix it.

No need to ruin Kokichi’s bit of harmless fun, everyone needs as much levity in this awful place as they can get. It’s what will keep everyone together, and in the process make bonds to help protect them. (Even if that sort of planning hasn’t really worked for us yet. It’s the best idea I can come up with here.)

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the-pontiac-bandit · 7 years ago

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and the dish ran away with the spoon

okay. here it is. if you’ve been wondering why i’ve been posting about geese for so long, this is why. it’s The Goose AU. based on this joke prompt sent to me by the lovely @lovelycraters (who also drew ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ART for this that imma make her post asap). all the thanks to @startofamoment, who helped me world-build and egged me on from a dumb 3-sentence response to this and to @jakelovesamy for listening to me whine and googling yacht clubs in nyc and obscure latvian dishes. and to @wrenjamin who has listened to me develop a severe goose phobia over the past several weeks THOSE THINGS HAVE T E E T H YALL

For Terry, it was a falcon. A dark, oversized, absolutely majestic (at least, according to Terry) bird landed on his windowsill every day for a week, disappearing as he got dressed in the morning, until Sunday morning, when it tapped on his window gently with its beak, asking for entry. It led him to the farmers’ market, where he bumped into Sharon, also in line to buy locally-sourced honey.

For Charles, it was a dog, a mutt who ran up and started humping his leg in the middle of the grocery store. It wasn’t until he’d taken the dog home, when none of his neighbors seemed aware of its presence, that Charles realized that this particular stray was meant to lead him to his soulmate. Twelve days later, on a walk, the dog dragged him to an exotic food truck he’d been in search of for almost a year, where Genevieve was doling out Latvian frikadelu zipa.

For Gina, it was a panther, large and sleek. It twined around her legs for a day, prompting her to frequently and dramatically strut around the precinct, bragging about jeweled collars and fur as smooth and voluminous as her own perfectly-conditioned hair. The squad resisted the urge to point out that none of the rest of them could appreciate the apparent magnificence of the panther – Gina may live her life out loud, but they’d never seen her this transparently happy. That night, the panther accompanied her to watch a dark, curly mane of hair win a motorcycle race for which her love was the prize.

Given these experiences, Jake is fully prepared for a majestic, dignified lone wolf. Obviously, it would be large enough for him to ride like a horse straight to Diamond Point Yacht Club, where a gorgeous speedboat model would be lounging in the sun, her own wolf napping beside her.

These expectations are why, when a goose lands in his passenger seat on a mundane overcast Monday morning, Jake’s first emotion is annoyance.

Cursing his windows, which never close, he tries to shoo the bird away. This is far from his first unwanted avian passenger – pigeons seem to be regularly attracted to the various unhealthy delicacies that sit in his glove console – so he’s become an expert at shooing birds out the window one-handed with his eyes on the road.

Much to his deep annoyance, the goose won’t leave.

That should have tipped him off, he tells everyone later. Terry reminds him that hindsight is 20/20, Gina tells him that any true dazzledove would have known instantly, and all he can think is that he should have gotten more sleep – maybe then he would have put things together quickly enough to make a better decision.

Instead of embracing this goose, who was nuzzling affectionately at his elbow resting on the console, Jake chooses a less advisable course of action. At the stoplight ten blocks from the precinct, he grabs it and dumps it unceremoniously into the bike lane.

He hears its squawks as he drives off, and he spares a moment to be thankful that he won’t have to keep listening to it – the loud, nasal squawks were ruining his already-awful Monday morning.

It isn’t until he gets in the elevator to head up to work – only ten minutes late today – that he realizes he made a mistake. That’s when the goose reappears, standing next to him. He sees it, notices that not one other cop waiting for the elevator to come has reacted to the very large goose standing in the crowd, and starts to wonder. And then, it bites his ankle – hard, with a shockingly sharp set of teeth – and he groans aloud.

He’s not at all surprised when the goose hops into his lap before Terry starts the morning briefing. He’s doing his best to ignore this highly unfortunate development – he has no desire at all to admit to Gina that his wolf (which he’d already named Vendetta) had been replaced by an intrusive, vicious goose. Seeming to sense his thoughts, the goose hops up, beating its wings in his face so hard that he tips his chair backwards. Jake’s indignant shouts and flailing arms, swatting at something no one else can see, as well as the resulting crash when his chair tips backwards, leaving Jake lying on the floor with a goose sitting triumphantly on his chest (who knew geese were this heavy) is impossible to ignore. Charles is hovering over Jake, concerned about bruises and broken bones and bruises and brush burns – “They’re no joke, Jakey! You could scar that perfect skin!” – Jake decides to come clean.

“So, my animal may have…dropped in this morning,” he mumbles.

Charles gasps, tears springing to his eyes at the idea that his best friend will finally meet the love of his life.

Terry, from the front of the room whoops. “What is it? Come on – spill! You know Terry loves love!”

Gina, reclining with her feet in a beat cop’s lap and her nose in her phone in the back of the room, looks up. “Oh, goose!” she exclaims.

“Yup, that’s it. Did you guys know geese are the worst?” Jake mutters darkly, unceremoniously dumping the aforementioned goose on the ground as he stands up, brushing off his wrinkled flannel and showing Charles he’s still alive.

“What’s it?” Charles asks, a little confused. “Jakey, do you have a concussion? I didn’t even think to worry about a concussion!”

Charles is trying to make Jake follow his finger as he waves it wildly around Jake’s line of vision, and the chaos is all too much, and the goose is pecking at his toes through his shoes, as if testing to see if they’re edible. It’s a lot – especially for 9:21 in the morning.

He sighs. This was not how this was supposed to go. “My animal is a goose. A really mean goose,” he adds with a pointed look at his foot.

Terry smiles affectionately and starts babbling about personalities and animals and birds and the beauty of finding your match, and Charles starts to sob uncontrollably, talking about happiness and futures and the majestic nature of Vendetta the goose (Jake immediately regrets telling Charles the intended name of his wolf. Vendetta the goose sounds much less badass, much to his dismay). Gina just laughs.

Jake shuts his eyes, trying to pretend that the morning isn’t happening. Tragically, the goose, which has flown up to perch uncomfortably on top of his head, isn’t particularly interested in allowing him to forget.

It takes nearly twenty minutes to calm down Charles, with Terry holding him (a few tears leaking out of his own eyes as Charles sobs happily into his shirt, suspenders clutched in both hands). Gina live-tweets the whole thing. Jake wants someone to sink into the floor – whether he’d rather it be him or the goose, he truly isn’t sure.

Jake’s awful morning doesn’t improve as it progresses. Charles, sitting in the desk across from him, keeps staring at him for truly weird amounts of time, with a starry look in his eyes. He puts Genevieve on speakerphone, where they shout loudly about the beauty of new love over the din of angry Latvian construction workers placing their lunch orders.

Jake doesn’t make it out on any cases. His life has stalled over the appearance of the goose – he can’t concentrate on his cases, and the goose ate his X, H, and A keys while he was at lunch, so his progress on paperwork is slow and riddled with far more spelling errors than usual. Finally, mercifully, his shift ends, and he’s allowed to leave his desk, now covered in goose feathers that only he can see (there are so many feathers he’s convinced the goose must be pulling them out and putting them there on purpose, but he can’t prove it to anyone else).

Jake directs his car out of the parking lot and onto the street. Then, he pulls the goose onto his lap. “Okay. I can’t ride you, but you’re going to have to show me where this person is somehow. Try driving?”

The goose honks (Jake already hates this noise more than he hates listening to Charles talk about Genevieve’s hair) and grabs the steering wheel with its beak. Briefly, Jake is encouraged. Maybe the goose will drive and Jake can find whatever nerd he’s supposed to end up with (seriously, who ends up with a goose as their animal, he wonders sourly, pointedly ignoring the fact that he, too, has a goose as his animal). Then, exactly twenty yards into his experiment, the goose jerks the car right, doing his best to run them onto the sidewalk.

Jake slams on the brakes, coming to a screeching halt in the shoulder of the street, mere inches from a very solid-looking mailbox. He mutters a string of curses under his breath as he looks around on the street for another goose, hoping beyond hope that his goose turned right to find his match, rather than out of sheer malice. The lack of other people battling mean geese, as well as the self-satisfied expression on the face of his passenger, suggest otherwise.

Jake repeats the experiment twice more, on side streets where he’s less likely to accidentally hit a pedestrian. First, the goose tries to run him into a lamp post. Then, a giant statue of a teddy bear advertising a nearby toy store. Finally, Jake decides that geese must not be able to drive. When he releases his companion, the goose jumps, flapping his wings in Jake’s face (he gets a smelly mouthful of feathers when he protests) before heading for the passenger seat. For half a second, Jake thinks he’s headed out the still-open window, and his heart leaps. It’s only been eight hours and thirty-nine minutes, but Jake would already commit to a life of solitude where he never found a soulmate if that life lacked geese.

Unfortunately, the goose just lands on the interior door handle, lengthening his neck out the window and sticking his tongue out to catch the breeze like a very white, very feathery, very mean dog. Jake sighs and turns the car around to drive home – if he has to deal with the goose, he at least wants pizza and Die Hard to help.

Pizza and Die Hard do help, but only marginally. The goose dives in and licks a full half of the pizza before Jake can even touch it. Much to Jake’s frustration when he tries to feed the goose the spoiled pieces, geese don’t even seem to like pizza – apparently this particular goose just wanted to spite him. Then, the goose sits on the remote (Jake swears it’s on purpose) and turns off the TV thirty-eight minutes into the movie. Jake doesn’t really mind having to start it over – the first thirty-eight minutes are eternally rewatchable, but he’s still mad at the goose on principle.

Finally, mercifully, it’s time for bed. Jake manages to save his toothbrush from the goose, who has decided it would be an excellent idea to sit on Jake’s bathroom counter, carefully positioning its rear end over all of Jake’s toiletries. He also manages to save his favorite academy t-shirt from the goose, who grabs it for a game of tug-of-war. He manages to settle the goose in the hallway (an extended process that involves the sacrifice of several old t-shirts for a goose bed and a sprint for his bedroom door, which he locks, breathing hard after the sprint down the hall and hoping beyond hope that magical animals are unable to charm locks open), and he goes to bed, hoping that either his soulmate will be on his doorstep tomorrow or that the goose will be gone – he’d honestly settle for either.

But only thirty minutes after he drifts off to sleep, he wakes up to a loud squawk and a very warm weight on his chest. He groans and turns over, dumping the weight in the process. For a second, his groggy brain thinks he’s solved the problem. And then, only centimeters from his ear, he hears the loudest squawk he’s ever heard in his life. He jumps up, startled, and hits his head on a surprisingly hard goose beak. The goose reels back with the impact before nipping Jake’s arm in retaliation. He has never sympathized with the stranglers he puts away before, but he thinks he finally gets it.

While murderous thoughts flood through his brain and he begins to consider asking Charles about the various ways to cook geese, wondering whether magical invisible animal flesh is edible, the goose hops off his bed and runs to the doorframe, looking back at him expectantly.

His first instinct is to bury his head back in his pillow and hope the goose goes back to bed. But then he remembers why he has a goose squatting in his studio apartment in the first place – is it possible it’s actually trying to be useful? Could it be that his soulmate is walking by outside at this very moment?

Jake is disgusted by the sappiness of the hope running through his brain, but this doesn’t stop him from rushing for his shoes and following the goose out the bedroom and towards the front door, with a quick stop in the hall bathroom to squeeze some toothpaste into his mouth. His eyes are bloodshot and his hair is mussed, but he’s sure his soulmate won’t care – surely she’ll just be happy to get rid of the goose, too.

He sprints out the door, the goose nipping at his heels, urging him faster. He stubs his toe hard against the kitchen counter and bumps his head against the corner of his cabinets as he rounds the corner, but he makes it to the front door in eight seconds flat – a personal record. He slams through the entrance, already turning right to head for the staircase. It’s as he barrels down the hallway that he trips over the goose, wings spread wide and feathers fluffed to look as large as possible. He goes down hard, catching a large mouthful of dirty carpet, and rises to his feet, uttering a long string of curses that he’s sure will wake his neighbors, only to find that the goose is still blocking his path.

When he tries to approach, it squawks at him, all of its sharp teeth on prominent display, so Jake takes a few steps back, hands up. He tries some soothing words, muttering nothings about goose tacos and fried goose and goose sandwich in the most calming voice he knows, but as he takes his fifth step back towards his open apartment door, the goose flaps its way over his head (slapping him in the face with its legs in the process) and slams his door closed.

“Oh, God, that auto-locks,” Jake groans, his words slurred a little with sleep. He walks over and tries the handle anyway – the goose stands off to the side, watching almost as if it knows the door won’t open, no matter how many times Jake rattles it.

Five minutes of non-stop leaning on the door knob yield no results, and Jake is finally forced to admit that he’s locked out of his apartment in boxers and a t-shirt. His neighbor has a key, but he works a night shift as a hot dog vendor, and his phone is inside, so he can’t call Gina for her spare. So instead, he slides down the wall so that he’s sitting, head on one knee, against the door, hoping against hope that the goose locked him out here because his soulmate is some new girl who moved into the vacant apartment down the hall and will be walking home any minute. His last thought before his eyes fully shut is that a speedboat model better be the one waking him up.

Tragically, the next face he sees is that of Fred, his middle-aged neighbor who lives across the hall, asking him if he’s okay. He mumbles something about automatic locks and broken doors and carpet that smells like mildew, but it isn’t until he adds “…and dumb soulmate geese trying to ruin your life…” that Fred’s face lights up in understanding.

“I’ll go get my key,” he assures Jake quickly before speeding inside.

The sounds of his clumsy neighbor slamming cabinets and rifling through drawers, accented by a colorful string of angry curses, clears Jake’s mind enough for him to sit up, stretching out his cramped limbs and rubbing his eyes, dry and itchy from one of the worst sleeps he can ever remember. That’s when he sees the goose, curled up peacefully like a dog on his welcome mat. He has never hated anything more.

Fred disrupts his reveries about gruesomely bloody water fowl murders by returning with a key, slightly bent but still functional. Jake pushes himself off the ground – with a great deal of effort and several loud (arguably unnecessary) groans – while Fred unlocks the door.

“Well, Jakey, I’ll bring you some hot dogs tonight – you look like you need them. Good luck with your soulmate…did you say goose?”

Jake dives in the door before he has to explain further. Of course the goose is already sitting on the couch, and even though beaks are possibly the least expressive food-holes available, Jake knows it’s grinning at him.

Work doesn’t improve his mood – he goes out with Charles first thing in the morning to check out a crime scene, and it should be simple, but the goose starts moving around critical pieces of evidence, scaring the beat cops who see nothing but floating kitchen utensils in the trashed apartment, and Charles, with tears in his eyes threatening to soak his face, has to tell Jake he should probably wait outside.

Charles also calls the goose Vendetta almost obsessively, as though he’s trying to convince Jake that this goose is somehow better than the wolf Jake’s always dreamed of. Jake calls the goose Quackers. This elicits a fresh round of honks every time he uses it.

In the afternoon, Terry tries to take Jake out to investigate a B&E – a low-stakes call was made about a broken window a few blocks away. The goose spends the car ride using its beak to open and close the windows so much that it breaks the button for the passenger seat. Jake’s a little mad about the repair costs that now fall on him, and very mad that the goose got to be the one to break the window – something he’s wanted to try all his life.

He’s confined to the precinct after that.

The goose seems more interested in eating the Chinese takeout Jake picked up on his way home than it had been in the pizza the night before. Jake’s even hopeful that they’ve reached something of a truce – Jake feeds it the vegetables that always come in his fried rice, no matter how many times he requests carbs and meat only, and it lets Jake eat both fortune cookies.

Jake’s smart enough to know now that when the goose wakes him up - more gently this time - he shouldn’t follow. Part of him - the part that still maintains some iota of optimism - wonders if maybe tonight is the night when Quackers actually does his job, but the part of him that is maybe now convinced that his bed - lumps and all - is actually probably his soulmate lets his eyes fall all the way shut without a second thought.

He wakes up to the angry beeping of his alarm far too early, and he groans as he slams the snooze button. He could sleep for another ten days, so it’s the easiest decision of his life to slam the snooze button - just once.

Five painfully short snoozes later, the hell-goose, whom he’s forgotten is sleeping at the foot of his bed, stinking up all of his favorite shirts and peppering his blankets with feathers, decides to intervene.

With something vaguely resembling a growl, Quackers lands on his face, batting the side of his head with its wings. Jake lets out a strangled yell, muffled by the feathers that are obstructing his airways, and flails his arms wildly until they make contact with the large goose that is definitely trying to kill him.

When Quackers goes flying, Jake takes the opportunity to roll over and bury his face in his pillow, which might be suffocating him, but at least it doesn’t smell like bird. He thinks that he’s done it, that Quackers will leave him alone, and then it only takes a few seconds for him to doze off, content in the knowledge that his alarm won’t go off for another nine minutes.

But thirty seconds later, the hell-goose is back stomping ferociously on his back, so hard that the breath is being forced out of his lungs. For a split second, Jake wonders how long he can endure this, if he should just resign himself to the fact that this is the end. That he’s going to be killed by this feathered beast, half goose and half demon, in his own bed. Then the goose shifts, allowing Jake to take a tiny breath in. Jake’s a cop, so he’s had his fair share of near death experiences, had to fight for his life more than once, but he swears that it’s never been as difficult as the fight with this goose. He waves his arms around, angled back towards the goose, rolling to one side to try to throw it off of the side of the bed, feeling its short claws digging into his skin. Somehow, Jake manages to turn and wrestle the goose off of him, finally rolling off of the bed himself, more breathless than he’d care to admit.

He takes a minute to collect himself, glaring at Quackers as he pushes the blankets around the bed, making a nest for himself and perching smugly in the middle (Jake didn’t know that geese could look smug before). Once the goose is settles, Jake briefly considers just climbing back into bed and reclaiming his blankets just to spite Quackers, but then he realises that he may very well be late for work if he doesn’t get dressed right this second. Much to Jake’s dismay, the goose won this round.

Jake’s sure that this particular Wednesday is the day that he’s going to find his soulmate. He’s earned it after a goose-fight that was somehow more exhausting than taking down even Brooklyn’s most hardened criminals. The day finally seems to be going his way - the sun is out, he gets his bagel for free after he accidentally drops it while paying, and no one notices when he’s five minutes late to work, Quackers trotting in behind him. Things seemed to have changed between them since the bedroom fight. Quackers settles at Jake’s feet quite happily for much of the day, with a self-satisfied possessiveness that makes Jake wonder if the goose thinks it’s the alpha.

This school of thought is reinforced when Charles brings in a casserole dish full of vaguely-green paste and orange chunks. With a sigh of resignation, Jake goes for his desk fork and stabs the casserole, steeling his stomach against whatever concoction Charles has brought for him to try.

When the fork, dangling mysterious strings of green, hits his tongue, though, Jake loses it. He spits it all over his keyboard, eyes watering as he rubs his tongue with his hands in a wild attempt to erase the taste from his memory.

“Charles! What was that?”

Charles looks only mildly concerned. “It’s a grass-and-carrot pâté. You know - for Vendetta!”

Jake blinks twice - both to communicate his confusion and to rid his eyes of the tears that are still forming at the memory of the grassy, overly-spicy taste that reminds him of the time Gina dared him to eat a handful of dirt on a dare. “Charles. You know that the goose doesn’t deserve a name like Vendetta. It’s Quackers, and it definitely doesn’t deserve treats. And also - why would you let me try it?”

Charles shakes his head, as if he knows something Jake doesn’t. “Jakey, Jakey, Jakey. Sharing food with your animal is a beautiful and natural part of the soulmate process! When Jason and I split his dog treats, it led to an entirely new level of understanding and devotion! It was almost as meaningful as the humping! If you won’t share goose food with Vendetta--”

“Quackers--” Jake interrupts.

“--then maybe you should try sharing human food! You need to find your soulmate, Jake. We’re all waiting for her - Genevieve needs a best friend!”

Jake shakes his head at his friend, mumbling thanks and vague words about goose-friendly pizza. Charles looks appeased - even more so when Jake throws in the word Vendetta - and leaves Jake to bond with Vendet--Quackers over the “intimate joy of shared vertebrate sustenance”.

When Charles leaves on a case thirty minutes later, a very-relieved Jake dumps the entire casserole dish on the floor, leaving Quackers to spend the afternoon licking it up (with a razor-edge tongue that makes Jake withdraw a few inches at the sight of it) while Jake successfully busts two cases of identity theft. He doesn’t, however, successfully find his soulmate, meaning he is still stuck with his vicious modern dinosaur.

He actually likes Quackers marginally better when he thinks of him like this. He may or may not spend an hour training Quackers - who is surprisingly smart, when he wants to be - to stomp around the apartment, wings extended, honk-roaring loud enough to wake Fred across the hall. It only looks marginally like a T-Rex, but Jake will take it.

Quackers never stops doing the walk. When Jake wakes up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, as his third day with the goose wears into his fourth, he trips over a goose silently marching up and down the hall. He does it across Jake and Charles’ shared table at the morning briefing (Charles tears up at the knowledge that the animal responsible for finding his best friend’s soulmate is here and wrinkling his case files), and he does it through the break room during lunch, stopping to “roar” so loudly in Jake’s ear that he falls out of his chair, much to Gina’s delight.

Quackers continues his march across the bar at Shaw’s that night, when the squad decides to take some of the edge of the week off together. Gina and about a billion of her friends are playing darts across the room, and Charles and Genevieve are sitting in the booth that Jake just vacated, slowly and painstakingly feeding each other fries to analyze the regional origin of the artificial cheese melted on top. Jake’s just looking for another beer (and to maybe collect Quackers, who just broke his fourth wine glass, which is a habit that Jake really can’t afford) when he sees Terry and Sharon sitting at the bar. With Quackers under one arm and a new beer in the other, Jake pauses to watch.

Terry’s got one arm around his wife, and she’s whispering something to him, close to his ear so that he can hear her over the comfortable hum of the regular patrons. He throws back his head, roaring in laughter, and she has to elbow him in the side to remind him to loosen his strong grip. They look so comfortable together that it makes Jake’s heart ache just a tiny bit.

And then Quackers, all but forgotten under his arm, nudges his cheek. It’s light, almost gentle, as though he’s trying to be nice. And Jake remembers, for the first time since a goose started attacking him during a morning briefing four days ago, why the goose is here. His chest fills with warmth at the thought, and there’s a tingling inside him that has nothing to do with what must be his fourth or fifth beer. This is why he’s been losing sleep to a malicious goose.

So he calls Captain McGintley (who is slurring far more than Jake is) and gets Friday off.

The next morning, he finds himself in the middle of Prospect Park, with Quackers on a leash in front of him. He gave the goose a solid breakfast (or, rather, Charles did) and sat down and tried to explain what would be happening today. It felt weird - trying to talk to a goose like an adult, and Quackers’ beady eyes were boring into his very essence, but he’s hoping that mutual respect and increased caloric intake will aid his search.

The plan, as Jake explained it, is that Quackers will be allowed to walk on his own - on a leash - and will lead Jake wherever he needs to go to find his mystery woman. Jake’s pretty sure Quackers gets it, and he’s been far more cooperative in the past twelve hours than he had been in the past four days combined. And yet, things go wrong almost immediately.

Quackers struts through the park, and at first, Jake is encouraged. He knows he must look insane to passers-by, with a leash suspended on an invisible animal, but then he sees at least three other morning walkers doing the same, and he decides he must be okay.

And then they come to a small pond, teeming with geese. Jake continues to walk, but Quackers jerks right and dives straight in. The leash is yanked out of Jake’s hand, leaving a nasty rope burn that will definitely require some hot chocolate from Charles (or maybe from the owner of the matching goose) later. In frustration, as he watches Quackers fraternize with the other normal geese, he kicks the boulder next to his leg.

And immediately lets out a shout of pain because he’s at least 99% sure he just broke all of his toes. He hops on one foot, nearly falling into the pond, and manages to steady himself. His foot is throbbing, and he lets out a string of curses so loud that a mother nearby claps her hands over her toddler’s ears. He removes his shoe - gingerly, carefully - to examine his toe - it might be bruised.

His sneaker - his favorite one (even better than its match, which has a scuff across the toe) - is sitting forgotten on the boulder while he peels off his sock when things go really, truly wrong. All of a sudden, a white blur trailing a blue leash with rainbow pawprints flies by, snatching up the laces of his sneaker in his beak before turning on a dime and flying back out over the small pond, feet skimming the water.

Jake shouts, caught off balance, and spins on the spot, trying to spot Quackers against the too-bright sun while hopping on one foot, his right foot still throbbing as he holds it up. Almost immediately, he lands face-first in the pond, scattering geese and taking several full gulps of algae before he manages to sit up, sputtering.

Quackers is sitting on the boulder Jake just vacated, the most self-satisfied Jake’s ever seen another living thing. He puts down the sneaker, honks loudly at Jake, and struts off, wings out in his best T-Rex strut.

Jake lets out a roar worthy of the best prehistoric reptiles and leaps out of the water, clothes streaming as he sprints after Quackers, who is hopping and flying in between waddles to stay just out of reach. Jake bowls over some teenagers playing hackey sack (the sack itself hits him in the face) and splatters mud on some small girls playing hopscotch as he tries to wipe the pond grime off his face. He rips around corners and through flower bushes (he emerges from one with purple flower petals stuck to the grime on his shirt) and runs headlong into a tree trunk when Quackers stops to take a break on a branch.

Eight minutes later, Jake’s run a decent chunk of the park, all just to retrieve the sneaker. His sprint has slowed to a jog, and he lost the breath to scream insults at his animal several minutes ago. He’s considering giving up on the sneaker - but something about this feels different, and he can’t quite shake the image of Terry and Sharon from last night, so he keeps going.

And then, in the distance, the blue lights of police cars. Jake mutters one final shit under his breath because for some reason, just for the sake of maximum embarrassment, he knows exactly where Quackers will take him.

Instead of seeing Charles or Terry or one of the beat cops from the Nine-Nine, like he’s expecting, though, he bowls over a beat cop from the Seven-Eight, a man he’s met a few times before on various joint stakeouts and tactical village events. Before he can stop to apologize, though, Quackers has sped up, heading right towards a white blob Jake can see in the distance.

As he draws closer, he can see that there’s another goose - this one wearing a police badge around its neck and proudly sniffing the perimeter of the crime scene. Next to it is a pantsuit-clad woman with the shiniest hair Jake has ever seen - the severe bun that contains it is blinding in the bright sunlight.

Jake’s so distracted that he doesn’t notice Quackers stop, doesn’t notice the goose standing in his way, until he’s tripped over it and skidded facefirst through the fresh, soft grass at the feet of Amy Santiago, the legendary detective from the Seven-Eight who kicked the Nine-Nine’s butts at Tactical Village two years ago.

“Are you okay?” she asks, looking more than a little concerned. Only then does Jake remember that he’s covered in mud and flower petals and missing a shoe and lying on his stomach in front of her, jaw hanging open.

“Your…Detective Santiago...goose…” is all he can manage.

“What? You mean Quackson Pollock?” She indicates her goose, but when she turns to see the direction of her pointed finger, she finds her bird not dutifully solving crime but instead nuzzling into the long neck of Quackers.

“Oh.” A blush starts at the tip of her ears and creeps onto her cheeks, darkening her bronze skin. “Oh.”

“Jake Peralta. Detective Jake Peralta. I work in the Nine-Nine.”

Reflexively, she reaches out to shake his hand. Her grip is firm, and he’s tempted to tease her about it, but there’ll be time - there’ll be years for that. So instead, he lets his hand linger, noticing the calluses that line her palm before looking up to see laughter in her eyes at his appearance. “I...I know you,” she says slowly, her eyes lighting up in recognition. “Coolest kill last year, right?”

“Yeah, sorry...Quackers took me on a bit of a wild goose chase.” He tries the pun, and is relieved to hear her small chuckle in response. He wonders what it would take to make her really laugh.

“You know geese are really smart, right? I’ve had Quackson Pollock working as a scent hound all week. Most cases I’ve ever solved.”

She sounds so seriously proud that Jake has to smile in response as he replies. “Bet you can’t beat my record.”

A competitive gleam lights up in her eyes. “Loser buys the coffee?”

“Good thing it’s gonna be you because I definitely lost my wallet in some flower bushes back on the south end of the park.”

She picks at one of the petals decorating his sleeves. “It’s a good look.” All of a sudden, she’s a little bit shy, and Jake gets it. His heart’s been threatening to jump through his throat and land at his feet at the sight of her warm, brown eyes.

“So, coffee?” she asks, breaking the silence. On Jake’s left, a white blur passes by, dropping a sneaker on top of his shoulder and affectionately batting his head with one wing before flying off.

“Coffee sounds great,” he replies, with a small pang of affection for Quackers and a great deal of nervous excitement as he watches Amy pass off the case to her secondary with more authority and poise than he could muster even in his John-McClane-daydreams.

“Time for a shower, though?” she asks, appraising his still-dripping clothes as they walk away.

“Title of your sex tape!” he shouts on impulse. And then, as he blushes, she laughs for realz and he decides immediately that this is a sound he never wants to stop hearing.

#brooklyn 99 #b99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #b99 fanfic #peraltiago #the goose au #my writing #YALL I WROTE IT #THE 5000 WORD SHITPOST #IM SO SORRY #(but also not rlly sorry bc omg wtf)

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girlonthenet-xo-blog · 7 years ago

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20 facts about me

1. I love food…who doesn’t! My favorite starter on a meal out to the pub would have to be either tempura king prawns or garlic mushrooms, my main would have to be either sausage and mash with gravy and loaaaaads of veg or a bacon and cheese burger with chips, and my dessert would have to be a waffle with chocolate sauce and ice cream or apple crumble and custard.

2. I am a musician. I love singing and writing my own music it fills me with a sense of enjoyment that I can get my feelings down on a page and get all my points across however, I hardly ever sing these songs to people because in my opinion they’re really bad!

3. I am currently studying my A-Levels and sixth form and my god is it difficult! “You only have one academic subject!” the teachers keep saying but what they just don’t understand is that art and music has a lot of effort needed to be put in as well if not more than English Language at the minute.

4. I have the most amazing online friend! He is literally the best, I can talk to him about absolutely anything that I’m worried about and it’s just great having him being there for me whenever I need him. He is one of those friends that you just cannot go a day without speaking to and maybe that is a little odd but do I care? Nope.

5. I have two dogs. Although this is something that is cliche to some people my puppas are my life! They just make me so happy. I love having them there when I walk through the door and they start greeting me and I just think, it’s nice to be so appreciated by pets.

6. I love nature. My favorite colour is green and I love anything green! I love trees, I love leaves, I love being in the great outdoors! Being in the woods is amazing because you hear so many sounds and sometimes when everything is quiet except the leaves beneath your feet or the trees blowing in the wind it is just so peaceful.

7. My favorite season is Autumn. The season of pumpkin spice and all things nice! I love when the leaves turn orange and brown and go crisp on the pavements crunching beneath your feet.

8. Sometimes I get low. I mean doesn’t everyone? I don’t mean get low as in dancing I mean really low, emotionally low. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about but I think this is one of the things I am going to push on my blog. I think people are so unaware of things going on in peoples minds and it’s time to start speaking out!

9. I love Halloween. It is my favorite celebration although for some strange reason it hasn’t really been a big influence in my families lives, we have never decorated the house on Hallows Eve which is something I intend to do when I am older and I have children of my own. It isn’t just Christmas that spreads joy! So does spook ghouls.

10. I love interior. Although I haven’t done much with it I love designing furniture and layouts on multiple apps that I use. If you’d like to know those apps just ask away! I visited a University where I looked at different types of art and design and although my kind of art is illustration I was drawn to the interior section of the building.

11. I love coffee. It is like my savior…without coffee my day is literally hell on earth. I feel groggy and I can’t wake up so yeah coffee is my fave drink ever. Not to mention the wonderful different types! Before I started my diet I had to have two sugars in my coffee which sweetened it now I have no sugar and the taste of coffee is much much better. I love caramel lattes too and gingerbread lattes from costa!!! And let’s not forget to mention the oh so famous caramel frappe from McDonald’s and Starbucks…yep heaven!!

12. I love my best friend and he knows and that’s good because he loves me too apparently. Which brings me into the fact that I am a very cheesy person…without intention sometimes…okay so I know it can be annoying when someone is nagging but apparently I nag too but I’m only human guys!

13. When I was 13 years old I went through a really tough life experience which I know many teenagers battle. And I’m not going to go and self diagnose myself with depression or anxiety but I do have depressive episodes and most of the time I don’t know why however when I was 13 it was at its height and I’m always in fear that another one will soon come back around just as bad as the one those many long four years ago. Although I have had a few that have been minimal I have still had what I call low depressive episodes and it is so hard to explain to somebody why I get them. Part of the reason I’m doing this blog is for that reason just as a reminder that I can let these things out and that’s partly why I like the idea of being anonymous. I can be myself. And I know it’s wrong to say that and not show myself but it’s my way of coping with it and hopefully, if I get any readers, you will understand but I may just be talking to myself right now and that’s fine too because I know deep down it’s helping.

14. I write way too much…as you can see I wrote quite a lot in the last point that is a tendency I do a lot!! Especially in word counted essays…I am very bad at word counts.

15. I love special effects makeup. Okay so fun fact about me I love makeup, any type of makeup will do but I love sfx makeup and doing it for others or for myself and so I hope to be sharing that on here with people or with myself obviously but hey ho! Life goes on.

16. I love quotes…I have a thing about quotes I’ll probably post quite a lot on here, the only thing with quotes is I like them to be personal and meaningful to me otherwise they don’t hold meaning however they might to others and that’s fine.

17. I still sleep with a teddy bear. Yep you heard me, 17 and Dogsby (weird name but I love him) still sleeps with me. Only if I’m on my own. If I’m sleeping in the same room as someone else I no longer need him but he’s always there to help me out when I’m alone in the dark which is another thing I am terrified of the dark!

18. I have a phobia of clowns and dolls. By clowns I don’t mean IT 2017 I mean IT 1990. The classic clowns. Ronald McDonald and all that jazz. Despite my love for chicken McNuggets and ketchup Ronald McDonald is the biggest fear of my entire life…if there’s a McDonald’s with a statue of him I will not go in. Absolutely not. And as for dolls well why the hell would anyone want an Annabelle sitting in their bedroom? Honestly…I don’t just mean conjuring style dolls but any china doll in general. No. They just can’t be near me at any given time.

19. I originally wanted to be a music journalist and I was told if I wanted to do journalism I had to first start blogging about the topics I liked/loved. So you could say this also has influenced me to set up a blog account.

20. I love the sound of rain! It is just so calming and whenever it’s raining outside I seem to have a much better sleep when it’s raining. I also like listening to it during revision time because it helps me concentrate more.

#blogpost #blogger #newtoblogging #lifeblogging #20 things about me

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newchica · 8 years ago

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Can you do a scene where kaya was on TEMPORARY coma and her ghost is roaming around the mansion?

@kurotaiyouhime12 Sorry for the wait but one way or another I managed to write something :)

Everything felt normal for the brown hair girl who stood in the middle of her room. No. It would be more correct to say that it seemed like everything was the same for her, while on the other hand, the girl’s body felt like a paper. Light and easy.

“Reiji-san, this time you over did it~” out of nowhere Laito’s voice broke the silence

“Is it over? Is she gone?” Kanato asked.

Kaya turned her head and saw Yui and the rest of the Sakamakis standing in a circle around her bed. From curiosity she walked closer.

“Hey, if this is another weird vampires ritual-orgy or whatever you are calling it, I have to say a couple of things: I’m not in and not in my roo-……” the girl lost her gift to speak the moment when she saw a figure laying on her bed. She instantly gasped for air. How else she should react when the unconscious person laying on her bed was herself.

“What the fffffffffffff?”

Her eyes were wide open, teeth biting her lower lip, letting a long ‘ffffff’ sound.

“Nice job, you finally got rid off this running insanity” the albino vampire folded his arms and looked over Reiji. In his voice there was a hint of surprise and approval to all of this.

"Will we get a replacement or what?” Ayato turned his eyes towards Reiji as well.

"Replacement?! Got rid off?! Wha- Am I- ….Oh dear GOd” Kaya fell on her knees “I’m a ghost trapped in this this mansion! Oh holy Cheesitz!….hELp me, fAther!” she pressed her both hands together and tossed her head back.

"Unfortunately, she’s not dead” Reiji sighed

” I’m still waiting for the new Deadpool’s second movie….wait whaaaa?” the girl cried but stopped when she heard Reiji’s words.

“My medication put her in a temporary coma….unfortunately” he really likes to use the word ‘unfortunately in this situation.

"How long will it take till this thing wakes up?” Shu asked.

"And whatever the answer is, can you make it longer?” Subaru added a question.

"It’s only for a couple of days. And as much as I would like to have a longer rest from her shenanigans, I don’t want to be the one responsible for taking care of this girl’s body while she is unconscious”

"I volunteer” Laito interrupted.

"Oh HELL on Earth no!” Kaya yelled.

“That won’t be necessary” Reiji pushed his glasses up.

In a minute everyone left the room leaving the girl’s ghost standing in front of her sleeping body. It was surreal and unbelievable how could this happen how come she can’t remeber a thing. But the Reiji’s words hit her. It was all temporary.

“So this will last for a couple of days, huh?” The girl looked at her palms squeezing and releasing “So i’m a ghost?……this should be interesting” she smirked with a devilish smile.

The girl wondered around the mansion with no purposes….(yet), till she reached one certain brother’s room.

“heheheiiiiinteresting” she rubbed her chin and knocked on the door. And in a second the tall, black-hair vampire opened it.

“Yes-…hmm?” he looked around in the empty hallway “Honestly, those bastards think this is funny” he pushed his glasses up and walked back in his work-room and Kaya’s spirit followed the man inside.

“Hehehe while I’m in this stage, I could have some vengeance time”

The vampire stood next to his table where the all potiont’s, herbs, notebooks were. Flipping the yellow pages of the chemistry book, the vampire began preparing powders for what it seem another experiment. All the girl could think of was ‘ Is that a drug mixture which he will use on me again?’

Kaya came closer to the boy almost touching his forearm with hers. She was examining the calm vampire’s face and with her finger tip she slightly pushed one of the notepads, looking at Reiji’s reaction. But the boy was so concentrated that he didn’t even noticed what was happening.

Kaya bit her lower lip trying to think of something else. She leaned towards and slowly took one of the test tubes. At that point, with the corner of his eye, Reiji saw the supernatural act. The tube with a purple liquid inside was floating in the mid-air right in front of his eyes.

“What is this?” the vampire took a step back.

“This is for drugging me” with those words, the girl poured the liquid in the other test tube with a green liquid. The mixture of these to immediately created white smokes which filled the room whole little by little.

“What else I could do around here?” Kaya went to the living-room where she saw one of the triplets. Kanato was kneeling in front of the coffee table with all kinds of sweets layed in front of him.

Kaya came closer and sat on the floor on the other side of the table and leaned her head against her palm.

“It so weird to see you so peaceful” she took the teddy bear and lift it up to the boy’s eye level.

For Kanato it was something holy and magnificent. Even some pieces of candies fell from his mouth.

“T-Teddy?”

The girl didn’t do anything just kept the toy steady in her hand.

“How…how are you doing this?” Kanato stood up keeping wide opened eyes on his beloved possesion.

Kaya started walking backwards slightly moving Teddy in circles. She took the toy’s plushy hand and with it gestured the boy to follow the toy. Kanato stood up from the floor and with mesmerize big purple eyes he took a step after a step towards the toy.

“Where are you taking me, Teddy?”

Kaya just opened and closed her mouth “If I myself would know that, it would be cool” instead of thinking too much the girl decided just to walk around the mansion until some new ideas will pop in her head.

On the way to nowhere, Kanato the floating toy and the force holding it encountered the other two triplets for who it took time to notice that something is wrong with the view in front of them.

“Yo! What the hell is wrong with that thing?” Ayato pointed at Teddy.

“*whistle* Kanato-kun, you learned a new trick” Laito tipped his fedora.

“You idiots, it’s not me!!!” Kanato yelled at his brothers which made the girl flinch. The boy turned his eyes, shining with believe and joy, to the toy “It’s Teddy” he whispered.

“All hail to Teddy the mightiest, huh?” Kaya looked at the vampires waiting for the respond but unfortunately she forgot that no one can hear her or see her. The girl pouted her face and stepped closer towards Laito. She pushed the toy into the boy’s hands and took fedora from his head and putted on Teddy.

“Let’s see what happens” she took a step aside and observed the upcoming situation.

Laito and Ayato both looked confused from what just happened. The doll just flew through the air into Laito’s arms and something put the fedora on that thing. It took them a few seconds before confusion was replaced by horror.

“What does it mean?! What I’m supposed to do?!” Laito panicking looked at Ayato, trying to hand him the toy.

“Keep that possessed thing away from me! Whatever it is there, it wants you, not me” Ayato stepped back.

“Laito….” a low angry voice called for the boy “…how dare you?” Kanato was glaring at his brother. The back aura surrounded the boy. Spreading around like tentacles, leaving the disturbance in the force.

“Kanato-kun~ I-” before he could finnish talking he was attack by his brother.

“AGHHHHH” Kanato roared while jumping on Laito and throwing him on the ground “DON”T YOU DARE TO TOUCH TEDDY WITH THOSE NASTY HANDS OF YOURS”

“That boy is going to be the death of all of us” Kaya mumbled under her breath.

“Wonder where the rest of the gang is?” Kaya was just a few steps away from her room’s door until she saw how the youngest Sakamaki brother entered his own room. It always was a mistery what he was doing in there. He rarely is around in the mansion’s other places besides garden So Kaya took a chance and sneaked in the dark room.

Subaru threw his jacket on the armchair and made some arm stretching while walking closer to the window.

“And he’s doing the cat thing. Looking through the window at nothing”

That was exactly what was happening in front of the girl. The male leaned against the wall with his stretched arm and looked at the clear night-sky’s moonlight.

Kaya sat down on the top of the coffin accidentally making a creak sound. Subaru immediately reacted to the sound and looked at the same place where the girl’s ghost was sitting.

She held her breath and froze like a statue. The eyes that he was giving was so sharp and terrifying, like he was able to see her. That was scaring her the most. But after a second, the vampire turned away and continued looking through the window.

The time was passing by and nothing has changed. Literally. The whole goddamn time he was just standing there.

“Maybe it’s a peacefully night. Nothing special will happened” she stood up from the coffin and fixed her t-shirt “It’s not worth it”

And with those word, like on purpose the vampire made his first move. He walked up the full-length mirror and stared examining himself.

“What the fuaa-?” Kaya tilled her head.

Subaru rolled his shoulders like he was preparing for a sport’s event.

“I do have wide shoulder” he whispered to himself.

“What am I witnessing?” Kaya asked

“I can be better then those dumb-asses”

“You’re….less straight forward” Kaya commented.

“Tch…Reiji with his scolding ‘I’m not neat enough?’. I can be a neat guy” it sounded more like an announcement.

“Is this…Is this happening for real?” She looked around herself hoping to find someone confirm her own words. And then the vampire did something that could be least expected from a guy like him. He lifted his arms, bending the elbows and flexing his muscles.

“……..I……honesly have no comments on that”

When it comes tot he oldest child of the Sakamaki household it is always like he’s sleeping everywhere. For example, this time, he can be found sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, With closed eyes and hanging down head the boy was listening to some of his favorite classical tracks which helped him to fall asleep faster.

But suddenly something happend to his mp3 player. Without any reason the music just started to switching from one to another. Four seconds into the song and it’s been changed to the other track. At first he thought that he might be doing this without realizing it, but no. Shu tried pressing buttons on mp3 player thinking maybe something was stuck but that didn’t worked out as well.

“Uh…troublesome” he grunted and took of the mp3 player form his neck and threw the device on the floor along with the ear-buds.

As he tried to fall asleep, the vampire suddenly felt something being putting in in his ear. When he opened his eyes, he saw on his lap placed mp3player and in his ear the ear-bud.

“How?…Tch it doesn’t matter” he sighed and once again threw the device away.

But in a second the same thing happened which made Shu to sit up and look around the hallway if there’s maybe someone around the corner, but that would not be logical.

“Annoying” he furrowed his eyebrows and threw device once again, away from him.

But this time, in the boys surprised, he felt how something was thrown at his face which of course was his mp3 player. He took the item in his hand, bringing it closer to his face.

“….this is not a dream…?” the vampire blinked. Still disbelieving what is happening the vampire putted the ear-buds in his ears and pressed to play music. Unfortunately for him, with one fast move the ear-buds were ripped out from his ear leaving that stinging mild pain.

Shu sat in the same spot for a couple minutes before standing up.

“That just proves I need more sleep”

#ask #diabolik lovers crack #oc Kaya #ghosts

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illumi-nnaughtyy · 8 years ago

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1-155 ahahahah

I'm petty asf so here ya go 😂 1: Name- Bailey 2: Age- 17 (almost 18)3: Fears- lol everyone y'all 4: 3 things I love- my dog, pasta, & Morgan 5: 4 turns on- kindness, intelligence, effort, & being funny 6: 4 turns off- not able to keep an interesting convo going, no sense of humor, treat waiting staff bad, and not being good w/ kids7: My best friend- MORGANNN8: Sexual orientation- just living my life homie 9: My best first date- never had one 🙃10: How tall am I- 5'1 (I'm small)11: What do I miss- Izzy💗12: What time were I born- idk I think like 12?13: Favourite color- blue or green14: Do I have a crush- a huge one send help15: Favourite quote- "Live Life For Bella"16: Favourite place- anyplace outdoors or anyplace with coffee 17: Favourite food- ANY AND ALL PASTA 😍18: Do I use sarcasm- lolololololol all the fucking time 19: What am I listening to right now- nothing, but I have headphones in which is weird 20: First thing I notice in new person- sense of humor 21: Shoe size- 6 1/222: Eye color- blue/green23: Hair color- blonde 24: Favourite style of clothing- tshirts I guess 25: Ever done a prank call? I was in middle school once so yep 26: Meaning behind my URL- I liked the song Wake me up by Avicii when I made my blog forever ago :/27: Favourite movie- not so many but atm probably The Proposal 28: Favourite song- too many to chose from 29: Favourite band- idk don't listen to a lot of bands 30: How I feel right now- happy 😊 31: Someone I love- My dog Jake 32: My current relationship status- single 33: My relationship with my parents- I'm really close w/ both although my mom & I argue a lot (about politics and religion mostly), but my dad is my fav human to ever exist 34: Favourite holiday- probably Valentine's Day or Christmas 35: Tattoos and piercing I have- my ears are pierced 36: Tattoos and piercings I want- so many tattoos omg 37: The reason I joined Tumblr- I thought it looked cool?38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don't hate her bc I've let go of that negativity but she probs hates me but it's chill 39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? I have recently & it makes me heart smile bud 40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? That'd be Morgan so YEET no 41: When did I last hold hands? When my dad was driving me to take my Midterm & I was nervous so he held my hand 42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 20 minutes, u less I shower then like 40 minuets43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yepppp 44: Where am I right now? Laying in bed 45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Morgan probs 46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUDDDD47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Mom48: Am I excited for anything? The future 49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? My dad 50: How often do I wear a fake smile? Anytime I'm at yee yee south Paulding high school 51: When was the last time I hugged someone? Honestly so long ago it's kinda sad52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? They would be an invisible person bc I haven't kissed anyone 53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Probably 54: What is something I disliked about today? Yes55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Hmmmm probs lexi or obama 56: What do I think about most? School tbh 57: What’s my strangest talent? My dedication 58: Do I have any strange phobias? I irrationally hate the dark bc I'm five 59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both idc 60: What was the last lie I told? That I wasn't mad that my dad wasn't picking me up until tomorrow 61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both is fine I prefer in person 62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Def ghosts but idk about aliens 63: Do I believe in magic? Nah64: Do I believe in luck? Ehhhh not really 65: What’s the weather like right now? Cold as hell66: What was the last book I’ve read? Medical Law, Ethics, and Bio Ethics 67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Kinda 68: Do I have any nicknames? Bai & Angel 69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Broke my arm & my knee 70: Do I spend money or save it? Both 71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? Nope72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? My room walls 😅73: Favourite animal? My dog 74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Talking to lexi 75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Trump 76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Brown eyed girl 77: How can you win my heart? Make an effort to remember the little things & make me laugh....also if you're good w/ kids 😍78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "This bitch was lit asf"79: What is my favorite word? Content 80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr yeet too much work to do this 81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Why are we all so hateful?82: Do I have any relatives in jail? Yes83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? To know everything 84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Idk depends on who's asking 85: What is my current desktop picture? Trees 86: Had sex? Nope 87: Bought condoms? Yes (as a dare)88: Gotten pregnant? Nope 89: Failed a class? Nope 90: Kissed a boy? Nope 91: Kissed a girl? Nope92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Nope 93: Had job? Yes 94: Left the house without my wallet? All the fucking time ugh95: Bullied someone on the internet? No bc I'm not an asshole 96: Had sex in public? Nah 97: Played on a sports team? Yes 98: Smoked weed? No 99: Did drugs? No 100: Smoked cigarettes? No 101: Drank alcohol? Yes 102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No 103: Been overweight? No 104: Been underweight? Yes 105: Been to a wedding? Yes I love them so much 😍😍106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? I do online college so sadly yes 107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Lololol I'm trash so yes 108: Been outside my home country? Yes 109: Gotten my heart broken? Many times110: Been to a professional sports game? Yes111: Broken a bone? Yes112: Cut myself? .....113: Been to prom? Yes114: Been in airplane? Yes 115: Fly by helicopter? No116: What concerts have I been to? 4 Taylor Swift, 1 Carrie Underwood, & 1 one more that I can't think of 117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Lololol so many times 118: Learned another language? Like 2 years of hs Spanish 119: Wore make up? I'm an ugly toe so yes 120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope 121: Had oral sex? Nope 122: Dyed my hair? Yes 123: Voted in a presidential election? Nope 124: Rode in an ambulance? Nope 125: Had a surgery? Yes 126: Met someone famous? Yes 127: Stalked someone on a social network? All the fucking time 128: Peed outside? Yes 129: Been fishing? I live in Georgia so what do u think?130: Helped with charity? Yes 131: Been rejected by a crush? Lol all of them132: Broken a mirror? Sadly 133: What do I want for birthday? Money 134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Idk maybe 2 or 3? And I want to name them Dani, Andi, or Amelia 135: Was I named after anyone? Some bitch from my mom fav tv show 136: Do I like my handwriting? Noooo it's horrid 137: What was my favourite toy as a child? A Mickey Mouse teddy bear 138: Favourite Tv Show? Soooo many but atm scandal 139: Where do I want to live when older? Idk just not in Georgia 140: Play any musical instrument? The recorder that I learned in 4th grade 141: One of my scars, how did I get it? I have one on my knee from falling off of my bike & breaking my knee cap 142: Favourite pizza toping? Mushrooms bc I'm trash143: Am I afraid of the dark? Yes 144: Am I afraid of heights? Very 145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope 146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Everyday fam 147: What I’m really bad at? Telling ppl how I feel 148: What my greatest achievments are? My academics for sure 149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me? Prefer not to say 150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery? Pay for college 151: What do I like about myself? Not gonna lie I've got some A+ boobs 152: My closest Tumblr friend? Hmmm idk 153: Something I fantasise about? Moving out of my house & being independent 154: Any thoughts on the paranormal? That it's scary as fuck 155: Free question: Any question you’d like to ask, be it rude, fun, curious, strange, sexual, random, meme related, etc! Lol one wasn't asked

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amynchan · 8 years ago

Text

On the pain of breakups

NOTE: I am NOT going through a breakup right now. These are just my thoughts, memories, an experience of mine, and advice.

As I sit here in front of my computer and type, I can't help but think about the past. We all do sometimes. I mean, if we didn't, we wouldn't have so many High School AUs, stories of young children finding their way in the world in the most heroic of fashions, and true love being found at a young age. We all have stories of what we wish could have happened int he past or what we wish youth were like, or even how we ourselves remember our youths. But today, I'm remembering something that broke my heart and messed me up for quite a long while: my first breakup.

The beginning of my relationship was in and of itself terribly confusing. My best friend and I for the better part of five years had been pushed together romatically. Everyone knew he had those feelings for me, and I only knew because everyone told me so. Except perhaps him. He tried telling me in gifts and over affections, but I associated that with friendship and him being a teddy bear in general because it wasn't like he never hugged anybody else in the world. He was my friend and I was okay with that, but everyone else swore up and down the wall that he was head over heels in love wih me. Not knowing much about the subject, I simply went along with it.

My best friend knew that it was my parent's rule that I not date until I was sixteen. It was a good enough excuse for me to hide behind. I had never really wanted a boyfriend. Attention? Yes, but so does everyone. Everyone wants to feel special and loved, but I wanted that and to be left alone as well. My best friend knew this very well and didn't ask me to date him. Instead, he dated a couple other people, one of them being my other best friend. I was happy for him because I thought he wanted to be with her, but everyone around me whispered how both me and her had blonde hair and blue eyes and how he must have had a type, substituting the one he couldn't have for the one he could. They broke up not long after that. I honestly can't remembr the details of it very well but I'm 98% sure it had something to do with me and the fact that I didn't really know what social instances to keep my very large trapper shut (I told my best friends everything back then. I didn't know what not to say, so sometimes I said things that were truly horrid that I didn't realize the implications of until later, after they'd happened).

I do remember that on my sixteenth birthady, my teddy bear of a best friend--tall, lanky, curly brown hair, and twinkling brown eyes--ran to me with the biggest smile on his face, a dozen red roses in his hand, and a trail of balloons behind him. Well, it wasn't my birthday yet, but it was the Friday beforehand and he just had to make a huge excitement about it in front of the school. I was embarassed, but I do look back on that memory and smile. The roses and balloons were nice, but the one thing I'll never forget was just how pleased he looked with himself. How happy he was that he'd managed to get all that for me because I'd mentioned that I liked roses. Truthfully, I'd never given the matter any thought until my mom had asked about it the week previous. I had just said what came to mind. But he had been there, he had heard my silly little off-the-top-of-my-head answer, and he had actually gone out and gotten a dozen roses. He looked. So. Proud. And that look was just one of the cutest things I think I've ever seen in my life and that will probably be my best memory of him.

My birthday party took place on my actual birthday and he came to that as well. I can't remember what he got me, but I do remember that he went outside with me to see some family members off and when we were alone, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Everyone had been talking about it happening eventually and my excuse was gone. I wasn't directly opposed, but I felt very nervous at the prospect. Maybe because everyone had been talking about it for so long? I don't know. In any event, I did agree.

I look back now and realize nothing should have changed with our dynamic. But it did. Because I was nervous. How did one even girlfriend? Was I supposed to suddenly want him around all the time? Was I a bad girlfriend if I didn't? Was I supposed to hold his hand? Was I supposed to let him come up from behind and hug me randomly, even if it scared the living daylights out of me? Was I supposed to... Was I supposed to make out with him? I could barely handle kissing! I couldn't even do kissing right! Yeah, it was a new thing, but after a while, it was a face squishy thing that never really did much, except make me wonder why he got so flustered. Wasn't I supposed to get flustered too? Was I doing it wrong? Was I girlfriending wrong again!?

I spent about a month like this. I grew into a habit of the weird kissing whenever I was feeling competative, because it became a game. See how many I could give, see how many I could dodge, watch his face turn colors, smile and laugh. It was a competative little game with only pecks becuse I literally didn't see the point of doing more.

And then came about a few days before Halloween, I think? We had been watching the Mummy (a long standing favorite of mine) in his room and we had ended up laying down on the bed. I'd started sitting up and as close to the TV as I could manage because I didn't want to lay down. I didn't want to do anything. He promised we wouldn't and patted the space behind him. I fidgeted the entire movie and ended up next to him about by the end of the movie. We didn't do anything, but I hated myself for it all the same. And when my mom was on her way to pick me up, he turned to me and asked "So do you wanna go make out on the front porch?"

And I. Was. Terrified. (We'd never done that and I'd never thought of doing that and the entire notion of it scared the heck out of me.)

I don't think I could have shaken my head faster. I went into the family room and sat down and stayed there until my mom came to get me. When she did, I made a bee line for the car and told everyone I was just really tired. Everyone seemed to accept that and we all parted ways for the night.

Then came Halloween. At the time, my church had a huge celebration, a bash, if you will. There was trunk-or-treating, actual cows there, and a hay maze. There was face painting, but the one thing I do remember was winning goldfish. My now-boyfriend tried to win one for me, but missed. I went up to the plate and literally didn't stop until I'd gotten myself a little silver goldfish which I proceeded to named Silver (RIP Silver). For me, it was a good night. I had a lot of fun. Looking back on it, I'm not quite so sure that he did. My family and I drove him home. He sat in the back seat with my siblings and I sat up front to talk with my mother. When we got to his house, I rolled down the window to bid him good night, but he just kind of walked by.

After that, things sort of fell apart. We didn't talk, and whenever he did try to talk to me, it was very short and crisp. I thought he was being cold and mean. My mom ended up explaining to me that he wasn't. He had depression and had been off his medication. She explained this to me several times and I still couldn't remember. I'm shocked I remember that detail now, but it makes sense when I look back and piece it all together. This was also the first winter I remember starting to withdraw from the outside world seasonally. I'm sure I did it before then, but no one came to the house in order for it to stick out to me. My boyfriend would come over to spend time with me, but I'd run straight to my room and crash for hours at a time and not wake up until he had to leave.

As you can see, I was very obviously a shitty girlfriend.

I came to that conclusion as well when my mom asked me what was going on. I was used to her poking and prodding and general snooping into my life, but when she kind of talked to me about how I was shutting everyone out, especially him, I realized that there wasn't a whole lot I wanted to talk about with anyone. Even him. If I stayed with him, it would be me doing my own thing and being oblivious to him unless he specifically said he needed me or I somehow miraculously read into social cues that said I needed to do something (Note: I am still very horrible at those).

So I did what I thought was best and I broke up with him. I attempted to tell him that it wasn't him and that I was not being a good girlfriend and he could do better.

And I didn't even break up with him right! We were going to church at *my* church on *my* side of town! Obviously, after we broke up, he didn't feel comfortable there and had his mom pick him up. I felt like an idiot for putting him in that position once I'd realized what I'd done, but the damage was complete.

Now, I said that the breakup broke my heart, and it did, but what really makes this memorable was the absolute BACKLASH that followed.

I mentioned how one of my favorite memories was of him and his proud and excited face on my sixteenth birthday. That was to illustrate just how much this guy wears his heart on his sleeve. He bares his emotions to the world a lot of the time, so the world knew when he was excited and when he was hurting. He unfriended me on Facebook (which we had both recently just gotten into) and blocked me. He made an entire status about how I had no business breaking his heart like that after everything he had given me once he was certain I couldn't see it. He didn't unfriend my brother, who saw it and showed me the post. I was devastated by how I'd hurt him, but I thought that the break up was necessary because of how horrible I'd been to him.

Then his mom got involved. Well, stepmom, but that's not really important? Well, sort of important. The bond between a really good step parent and their step child is a really tight thing. It means that she's taken this kid under her wing and she's really ready to go ballistic on whoever breaks his heart. And she did. She swore me up and down in a facebook message that I never told him about. She made sure that I knew just how much of a little piece of s*** I was for breaking the heart of someone so kind and amazing and how she hoped I would rot in the deepest pits of hell for it. (EDIT!! This is how it felt. I went back and found the message and what she did was ask me if I was a lesbian because I’d just ‘wasted’ so many years of her son’s time. It felt like she was telling me to go to hell, but now that I’m looking at it with a clearer mind, but remembering the anger behind the statement... I dunno. 0.o It doesn’t feel so much like “GO TO HELL YOU ROTTON B****” anymore.)

Then he had one of our mutual friends (’nother Edit, this was also his stepmom. FB keeps a nice little record of these things. XD) ask for the birthday present back, which had been an heirloom from his grandmother. I understood and brought it to school as soon as I could. I walked up to him, hoping that he would at least look at me and let me say how sorry I felt that he was hurting, but that it really was for the better.

He kept his head turned away and held out his hand. I deposited the trinket, waited for a few moments, and then left. I knew I wasn't wanted. I had hoped that he would come and find me if he ever wanted to talk, but he never did.

There was a lot of riff raff rabble that surrounded the break up. His ex (my ex other best friend) told me I was a horrible human being. My family tried to comfort me. The rest of our friends divided, taking sides because of the drama that had started up. I broke up with him and he hated me for it and that was that.

To be honest, I can't remember who tried to help me after that breakup, but I remember that most of the messages were things that I didn't want to hear. They wanted me to hate him. They wanted to hate him on my behalf. They wanted me to be angry at him enough to propel myself forward in life. But I never wanted that. I knew that deep down he was a good person who just wasn't good for me. And I know I'm a good person and I really just wasn't good for him. He enhanced my forgetful side that sort of goes along with the flow in a way I didn't like. I made him work for affection that he really shouldn't have to work for in a true, open, and loving relationship.

But hey, we were sixteen. It was a low chance that it was all gonna work out in flowers and roses anyways.

Point is, that's what I remember when my friends tell me they're going through breakups. I remember the drama and the hurt and the angst of the first. I remember people I didn't even know coming to attack me on the behalf of my now ex-boyfriend. I remember restraining family and friends alike from going after him in retaliation for what his side had done to me. I remember just trying not to have a war on my hands and hoping that people would let him be and eventually let me be as well. I remember hurting and adding even more hurt to that hurt because people wanted to keep hurting each other over my hurt. I remember wanting comfort and others demanding action.

So if you're my friend and I see you hurting because of a breakup and you don't want drama, come talk to me. We'll talk about stuipd shit. Favorite colors, green grass, brown grass, what the sky looks like right now. We'll talk about OTPs and favorite fight sequences and favorite ice cream flavors. We'll talk about butterflies and ladybugs and kitty cats and puppy dogs. I can tell you why I own a whiteboard. We can have a Skype call and play charades or twenty questions. Even if you're a dude, we can play a makeup challenge and I guarentee you'll be better at it than I am because I haven't done makeup a day in my life. X'D I'll do that for you because chances are you've got a lot of drama going on already.

I'm not ignoring your pain. If you want to talk about that, we'll talk about that, too. But when you're going through a breakup, the main thing to remember is it's totally normal for two people to be good people, just not good for each other. You don't have to attack the other to move on, and I won't stand here with a pitchfork to help you out. Just a blanket, some cocoa or tea, and a listening ear. Or maybe I'll talk your ear off if you need it, who knows?

Things happen and they hurt, but we don't have to make someone else hurt because of it. Let yourself have a good cry because it hurts, but keep your chin up and take one step forward today. Then take another tomorrow. And then another the next day. Eventually, you'll get past it.

If you need me, shoot me a message. I'll be here for you.

#break ups #breakups #friend #amynchan #I'm not going through a breakup #just thoughts

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