#-really high like to reblog ratios

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Tbh I'm glad that sp artists dont do that "reblogs > likes" thing. I was a little worried when a few people put it on their posts a while back, but it died off pretty quickly.

[fisshbones]

Things that genshin & honkai star rail men do that are icks.

gn! reader [dr.ratio, gorou, sampo, childe, aventurine] fluff / crack

a/n: aventurine’s was written before his release, but tbh all the characters are probably super ooc, sorry lol. lowkey just slandering them :3

Dr ratio: 📏

You know that “aksually ☝️” meme. Yeah that’s him. “By my calculations the answer should be eightee-“ “Actually ☝️the correct answer is…” Even if you’re just starting your opinion he’ll just tell you that your opinion is wrong. Like fym my opinion is wrong it’s an opinion for a reason???😭

Gorou: 🐕

Barks and growls. Those doggy genes run deep, because he is territorial as hell. While it’s really adorable at times, it’s also kinda cringey. 😕 Sometimes when some guy is talking to you for too long he’ll just randomly start growling 🐺 Don’t mind him he’s just trying to show who’s the true alpha!! /hj -> As for the barking, sometimes when you’re looking particularly pretty/handsome he accidentally barks once or twice. Don’t get mad at him he just gets overly excited sometimes. ☠️

Sampo: 💸

Steals food off your plate without asking first. He waits for you to be distracted so he go in for the kill (he just stole some of your fries🍟 ) If you manage to catch him red handed and accuse him of stealing your food. He’ll try gaslighting you for about two minutes before relenting and apologizing buy paying for your lunch 💀

Childe: 🏹

Holds things above you head so you have to struggle to jump up and grab it. You think you’re safe if your taller than him? Nope try again. He’ll just grab it and climb somewhere high up (the counter or table) with it just to piss you off even more 😑 He think’s you’re cute when you’re reaching for it too. (I want to fight him)

Aventurine: 🎲

Constantly looking at himself + gambling. I’m giving him two idc… When i say gambling I don’t just mean poker i mean he’ll make bets with you over the smallest of things. “I bet you free dinner if Topaz starts yelling at me in the next 3 minutes.” She indeed start giving him hell. 🗣️‼️ Another one i think he’d do is constantly looking at himself. Going shopping? 🛍️ He’s stopping every few blocks to make sure his hair still looks good in the reflection of the window. At dinner? Checking himself out in the spoon’s reflection.🥄 Can you blame the man for always wanting to look his best? No, thought so.

Like and reblogs are appreciated <3

[steviebbboi]

His Little Gem

Pairing: BandMember!Curtis x F!LeadSinger!Reader

Word Count: 3.6k~ highkey relieved that im able to write a shorter lengthed story this time lol

Summary: You and Curtis finally have a moment alone. Though, it turns out that Curtis actually loves the attention.

Disclaimer: This is my submission for @mercurial-chuckles writing challenge, "Smutty September Fest"~ Thank you lad for hosting this, and hoping that everyone enjoys this as much I loved writing it.

I also wrote this as a part of my eventual Bandmember!Curtis series from this poll. However, you can absolutely read this as a standalone.

***I don't give any permission for this to be reposted anywhere! Pls do not steal work, plagiarism isn't demureeee~~~~

Warnings/Triggers: 18+ Minors DNI; HIGHKEY its PWP but plot nonetheless, explicit sex/smut, p in v sex, oral sex (f! receiving), slight exhibitionism kink, praise kink, squirting, explicit language, slight/mild dumbification, slight/mild degradation kink, pussy slapping, dacryphilia kink, manhandling soft dom! curtis, slight overstimulation play, secret and established relationship btwn curtis and Reader. nickname for Reader is Sapphire/gem. if i missed anything, pls feel free to lmk~

Prompts Used: 2) sex in front of a big window where anyone could glance up and spot them; 5) body worshipping

A/N: ~I really appreciate ya'll for interacting with my fics! It's so cool to know that my writing resonates and is enjoyed by many. That said, it's common for fic writers to face huge ratio disparities with likes/reblogs. If you could kindly reblog my work as you enjoy it, that would be much appreciated! Reblogging gets our work out there for more folx to enjoy and genuinely encourages us to continue writing. It's a conflict on here for a reason -- know that this is said with much sincerity and kindness. Support writers please~

Tongues caressed each other in a greedy yet languid dance, your lips meeting Curtis’ so passionately as you both rode the high of finally having a moment alone together. 

“Mmph, God, I missed you, sapphire.” Curtis mumbled against your plush lips. His tongue eagerly lapped at yours as you whimpered in response.

Just registering his words, your laugh was muffled against his pressing mouth, “Miss me? Curt, we see each other everyday.” Another giggle attempted to escape but Curtis was skilled at keeping you distracted at this point.

His lips were still enthusiastically leaning in for more as small giggles escaped you, “I missed being with you. Your lips, your body pressed against mine. Especially, when I get to feel you like this.” He said emphatically as he dragged his calloused palms up your thighs and around till he was able to gain a desperate grip on your ass. 

You both moaned as Curtis groped you roughly, one of his hands leaving your ass only to land a loud slap against your pert cheek. You squealed playfully into his mouth while Curtis groaned deeply and did it again. 

Your short mini skirt was ruched around your hips as you rocked your center into the hardening tent in his jeans. Even through the fabric of your panties, which was dampening by the second, Curtis could feel the warmth of your wet pussy just seeping into the denimed layer covering his hard cock. 

Lips separating for a moment to allow the both of you to catch your breaths, Curtis looked at you darkly through his long eyelashes and grabbed your hips to slowly grind your pussy across his stiff member. 

Whining in response, your head tilted back in pleasure, giving Curtis the opportunity to leave lavish kisses all across the side of your neck. You felt your hips stutter as his wet lips sucked at that sensitive spot right underneath your ear. His tongue licked against your pulse, and your breathing started to get heavier as he continued sucking at your fragrant skin. 

“Curt–Curtis, the window…” You drawled out mindlessly as he continued laying kisses on your throat. His stubble made your skin red and blotchy and it stung so beautifully as his mouth balanced the pain with pleasure.

His back to the large window, you were straddling Curtis’ lap on the couch facing the city skyline in your penthouse condo. Only faint lights from other people’s apartments could be seen. If you focused hard enough, you could clearly see neighbors in buildings across from you eating dinner, or watching tv. 

As clearly as you could see them, you’re sure that you and Curtis could be visibly seen, even though the only thing that illuminated both of your silhouettes was the living room lamp casting a warm glow on your pressed and writhing bodies. 

“What about it, baby?” Curtis asks, just as mindless as you were at this point. His thoughts and senses were all enveloped around you.  

You could only gasp for air as one of his hands left your ass to grip onto and tug on your hair roughly, allowing such an erotic moan to leave your pillowy lips. His grip that remained on your ass only squeezed tighter when he heard your response. 

“God, -phire, you’re killing me. C’mere.” He used the hand at the base of your skull to push your swollen lips back onto his impatient ones. You whimpered into his mouth again as his soft tongue reunited with yours with a passion that felt so matched. Curtis was the only person that you have been with that has ever been able to make you feel this way. So unruly, excited, fiery, and intense. 

You both acknowledged the energy between you in your own ways since you have met.  Whether it was Curtis’ soft grasp around your waist navigating the paps outside the recording studio, or your hand gripping onto the inside of his elbow as you were in between stage sets. 

Safe and protected was how you ultimately felt when you were with Curtis. Combining that with being the best sex of your life, you felt invincible. He made you feel that way, and you liked being his Sapphire.

Even now as the rough texture of his hands, worn from years of playing, tugged on the sides of your lace panties down around your knees. He manhandled you onto your back as you giggled again, he ripped your panties from your legs completely. Curtis kneeled between your open legs, his shadowed eyes maintaining eye contact with your hooded ones. One hand gripped the outside of your ankle gently as he pressed his lips against your soft skin. 

You let out a soft gasp as his tender touch. He was slowly kissing up towards your center, his kisses getting wetter the closer that he got. A quiet whimper left your lips as Curtis left another wet kiss on your hip bone, and moved to kiss above your aching mound. The anticipation felt so strong - you released a bothered keen when Curtis didn’t land his lips on the correct destination, but instead, decided to lower down towards your other leg’s inner thigh and down towards the inside of your bent knee. 

“Curtis, please, kiss me.” You begged him with your eyes burning with frustrated tears.

Curtis laughed meanly as he responded, “I am kissing you, sapphire.”

You sobbed out a frustrated moan, “Ugh, you know what I mean – please! It’s been too long.” 

Curtis issued a low hum in agreement as he continued leaving soft kitten kisses on the inside of your knee, only moving slightly upwards towards your inner thigh and back down. His hands slowly caressed your legs in the places that his lips couldn’t touch. “Oh, I know, pretty girl. But that’s what makes this so fun for me.” 

A tear fell down the side of your face, as you sniffled your discontent at his pleasurable cruelty. Curtis knew your limits and knew that you would’ve said your safe word some time ago if you really wanted him to stop the slow approaches on your body. You both knew that Curtis teasing you was the build up that your body and mind needed. You needed to lose yourself a little bit in order to be fully present and attuned with the pleasurable sensations that Curtis will start and leave you with. 

Curtis cooed at you as he saw your distressed tears leave your eyes. “Aw, my little gem is frustrated, huh?” 

You nodded your assent with another sniffle as you looked into his bright eyes burning with a palpable affection and need for you. Seeing that glint in his eyes only made you cry a little harder and swallow down another sob, as you also missed Curtis when you were just like this. Him between your legs, gazing at you with such impassioned eyes that just landed so intensely. Your body burned so good, you couldn’t really handle it. 

“Okay, okay, sapphire. God, you’re so pretty when you cry, fuck.” Curtis moaned for you as he leaned up so that his face was over yours. His lips landed a wet and thorough kiss upon your deprived mouth. You continued to passionately make out for another minute as Curtis stripped you of your tee and lace bra. But he left the small mini skirt on all bunched up around the curve of your waist. His hands were free to roam the rest of your soft, aching body, spending time around your breasts to squeeze and pinch at your perky nipples. 

“I’ll give you what you need, my pretty baby, I got you.” He whispered against your open mouth as he drifted down to kiss at your neck briefly before enveloping his lips around your hard nipple. You inhaled air sharply at the feeling of his soft tongue swirling around the hardened nub while his other hand fondled at your other breast. The contrast of his warm, wet, soft tongue on one nipple and his gravelly touch on the other felt so euphoric. 

The need for him was just building bigger and bigger deep inside of you as he continued laving at your nipples. He alternated his kisses and touch on both of your breasts. You were also starkly aware of the fact that he was still fully clothed as the fabric of his jeans felt so good against your plush exposed skin. You moaned louder at the realization and your hips writhed up against his cloth covered chest. 

“Curtis, Curtis – fuck, I-I think I’m gonna–agh!” All of a sudden, the knot that was building deep in your stomach just unraveled as you came hard. Your pussy clenched around nothing as Curtis just made you cum from just playing with your tits. Curtis groaned deeply as he felt your wetness spread on his skin as your pussy dampened the layer of his shirt.  

He released his steady sucking of your nipples to look up at your pleasure-filled expression, your eyes dropped with soft satisfaction and sleepiness as you caught your breath. 

“Mmm, you’re such a good girl for me, little gem. Your body is so responsive - one of the things that I love about you.” Curtis praised as you released a chirp, his affirmations landed so well on your sated body.

“Wanna continue feeling good, baby?” He said as he finally lowered himself to land his lingering eyes upon your pulsing cunt. You nodded slowly while biting your lip, almost dumbly, as he used his thumb to cut the layer of stringy wetness that covered your pussy.

“Even your pussy cries for me, huh? So sweet,” he groaned while he licked up the first layer of your wetness. You moaned at the feeling of his moist tongue finally lapping at your weepy cunt. Your hips squirmed at the feeling but Curtis quickly used his strong arms to keep your hips down and legs wide open. 

He moaned at the taste of you and spent time firmly and slowly licking around the area of your clit. You released a high pitched moan when you felt his tongue maintaining steady pressure and swirling around your sensitive spot. You bit your lip to quiet down, feeling a bit embarrassed by your reactiveness.

It was like Curtis could sense your deliberate muffling and he released your swollen button only to land a sharp slap against your soaked pussy. You squealed at the sudden sensation and groaned deeply as his lips found your clit shortly after to weather the sudden pain. 

Your whimpers quieted down again but Curtis proceeded to smack your pussy again with a determined low groan. Before he landed another suck at your puffy clit, he said, “Don’t hide your pleasure from me, sapphire. Don’t ever do that with me, got it?” He landed another sharp slap with the flat of his hand and tapped at your clit in quick taps while you quite literally answered his demand with unfiltered and resonant moans. 

He sucked your clit back in his mouth and made quick laps and motions directly on it. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you gripped the back of his buzz cut head with need. The feeling of his tongue just sliding against you so swiftly and with wild abandon released your second orgasm of the night, in complete bliss as you abandoned any sense of being quiet. 

The both of you breathed heavily as you attempted to catch your breath once more. You looked down slowly at Curtis to see him still gazing at your drenched pussy. Your cum covered his mouth and beard in a light sheen, and his lips looked pink and swollen as he licked the remaining slick from them sensually. 

You whined again tiredly as you knew what that look meant. Curtis was obsessed with eating you out. It was like everytime that he tasted you, he couldn’t help himself from trying to get more and more from you. 

“Curtis, please, I need your cock inside of me.” Your timidness disappeared as you interrupted his thoughts on going back in for seconds. 

Curtis slapped your still twitching pussy again as you panted out responsive, high-pitched moans, so overstimulated that you could feel the knot in your tummy tighten again as you tried to writhe away from his calloused grip. 

“No, no, sweet girl, you’re not going anywhere, c’mere–  I haven’t had enough of this messy pussy yet, you’re still gushing for me.” Curtis groaned into your wet mound as he roughly manhandled you to sit up on your knees. 

You whimpered at his dirty words and at his rough touch as he bent you forward and adjusted you to lean your forearms on the tops of your couch, facing the window. But now, instead of just your face being visible to the night sky, your breasts hung seductively and your hair was mussed from your throes of pleasure. With Curtis kneeling behind you, it was obvious that you were not just star-gazing into the open city. 

“Wa-wait, Curtis, the people…” you said hesitantly while you turned your head slightly to look back at him.

Curtis found the hesitance in your eyes but also found that eagerness that you had at the thought of being seen. He knew what you really wanted, and he needed to give it to you. His eyes hardened into something dominating as he quickly leaned over your arched back to grip and tug at your hair again. You moaned as your head tilted back with his grip to alleviate the sharp pain. 

You felt Curtis’ warm breath at your ear as he whispered lowly, “They could never have you anyways, sapphire. You’re a good girl, aren’t you? Let them look.”

He released the grip on your hair as you mewled a greedy assent. He placed a demanding hand on the back of your neck so that you faced forward, eyes directly meeting other light-filled rooms with a gaze so turned on, you knew that you wouldn’t let him take you any other way. 

You gasped out for another gulp of air when you felt his tongue lapping at your cunt from behind. Your back arched in delight and your ass pushed back into his insatiable mouth. It didn’t take long for you to reach your inevitable end as Curtis was ruthless in his meal. 

You swallowed heavily as your mouth dried from how loud you were moaning. Your eyes widened as you cried out at the sensation of the tip of Curtis’ large cock catching at the inside of your sopping pussy. Hips pushing back against his cock to get him further inside of you, Curtis slapped your ass and whispered a mellowed, “patience, baby.”

Feeling your facial features twist into something needy, you gasped again– but not at the feeling of Curtis’ teasing cock, but at the sight of a person leaning against their apartment balcony that faced you. You weren’t close enough to make out any features other than a bodied silhouette, but you were suddenly so aware that if he tilted his head a bit upwards, he would also be able to make out yours and Curtis’ moving bodies. 

You felt Curtis dip his mushroom head inside of you further but not pushing all the way in. Your eyes rolled briefly again at the feeling of your walls aching to tense around the girth of his wide cock as you tried to gain enough sense to communicate. With gritted teeth, you moaned, “Fuck, there’s someone out there, Curtis.” There was a part of you conscious of someone looking up and finding you and Curtis just fucking, being splattered all over the front page of tabloids. 

Curtis gave his own pussy-drunk response with a mindless “huh?” and looked towards where your head was pointed. Laughing darkly, he just said, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to keep an eye out, baby. Or don’t–  either way, I’m still gonna fuck you till I get my fill, or until you eventually pass out from being all drunk on my cock.”

At the end of his possessive words, Curtis swiped his length at the wetness of your pussy before sliding in slow and deep. You keened loudly at the feel of him so deep inside of you, your walls accommodated him so snugly from how wet you were. 

Curtis dropped his head back in absolute bliss as he gripped onto your bunched skirt for a better grip. Looking down at your deprived body, the image of his hands using a pinched piece of fabric as leverage to thrust back against his penetrating cock made him moan wildly. 

“Fuck, you really are my gem, baby. Pussy was made for my cock, gripping me so tight, fuuuck.” He said as he thrusted in and out, still moaning out his pleasure at the feeling of you. 

You felt your skirt digging into the soft swell of your tummy as Curtis pulled you back onto his piercing cock. There were so many sensations running through you, both Curtis’ degrading words and the thought of just being fucked by him like a rag doll, like he was just using you turned you on so good. You could feel your body getting limper and your eyes were no longer trained on the person standing in their balcony. 

You quietly whimpered your contentment at getting fucked by Curtis, your mouth was agape as his thrusts were getting faster and harder. Leaning even lower onto the top of the couch, your body arched into an angle that allowed Curtis’ wide cock to hit you at a different angle that made you keen and gasp again. 

Curtis felt that patch of skin inside you that felt different from your inner walls and grunted in efforts of meeting it with every thrust. You gasped and moaned wildly at the feeling of him thrusting against your g-spot, and felt the sensation of another orgasm rushing in, “Yes! Yes! Please, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, Curtis, please!” you sobbed loudly while you rested your limp head on the couch near your aching arms.

Curtis seared the image of your soft and pliant body just letting him use you and growled out, “Cum for me, pretty baby. You’re taking my cock so well, my little gem. I knew you could– cum for me.” He thrusted harder at the anticipation of your sweet cunt tightening around him, the visuals and excitement of what was to come was enough for him to chase after his own release. The sensations of your wet cunt and feeling of your soft body under his well-practiced hands made him feral for you everytime.

Feeling so worshiped and desired, getting his permission to cum felt like a privilege as your head dropped further into a deep, fuzzy mental space. Your pussy squirted around his still thrusting cock as you sighed and moaned your intense pleasure.

Curtis only groaned deeply at finally feeling your velvet walls tighten against his shaft, and the sight of your squirt spilling and squelching out of you only made him feel the sensations even more. He released another guttural moan as he thrusted deeply inside of you, no longer being able to hold back his own release. 

You both moaned in satisfaction at the feeling of your combined spend being plugged inside of you as Curtis didn’t pull out. He leaned forward on your relaxed form to place soft, content kisses upon the curve of your spine. 

Stepping back to pull out of you, you gasped at the feeling of his cum spilling out of you slowly. Curtis let out a breathless laugh at the sight and groaned out his deep enjoyment of seeing you full of his spend. 

He slowly took off your now wrinkled skirt from your body and re-adjusted you so that the both of you could lay on the couch. Curtis’ large hands softly stroked and kneaded tension away from your lower back as you laid on top of him when you remembered the person on the balcony. 

You softly gasped and sat up abruptly to look down at where the person was standing. There was nobody there anymore, and you could only hope that they didn’t see. 

Looking back down at Curtis, you smacked his chest with a teasing and tired mirth, “‘Let them see’? Really, Curtis.”

Curtis released his own tired chuckle while his caresseses on your back moved to softly stroke at the soft sides of your tummy and waist. “It’s okay, sapphire. I kept an eye on them to make sure that they couldn’t actually see us.”

You hummed as your hands brushed at the hair on his muscular chest. “You know that we have to be careful. I’m not ready for the world to know that you’re mine yet.” 

At the quietness of your tone and downward shift of your eyes, Curtis could tell that you meant what you said sincerely. You both enjoyed the kinkiness of your sex life, but you also knew that there was a vulnerability in your relationship that you didn’t want exposed to the public. Or, to the rest of the band for that matter. 

Truthfully, he wasn’t ready to share you yet either. 

The thought of you being hounded by press and fans made his soft grip tighten on your hips a bit with a frown before he motioned for you to press down against him again with soft encouragement. 

Getting comfortable in his arms, you pressed your ear against his steady, thrumming heart and sighed in content. 

“I know, my little gem. I’ll keep you safe.” They were the last words that you heard as your tired eyes closed in blissful exhaustion in the shielding arms of the man that loved you.

A/N: Yay! What did we think? This goes w.o saying but pleaaase leave a comment or a reblog to kindly tell me your thoughts (genuinely, wanna know)! Hopefully, we will see more bandmember!Curtis x Sapphire in this future~

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[yellowocaballero]

i see you reblogging aa, is this a sign an ace attorney fic is on the horizon 👀

I resign myself to the fact that any reblogging spree of one work inevitably results in people in my inbox asking if I'm currently writing fanfic about it. I can't complain, because the answer is usually yes absolutely of course I am.

I will say that the Great Phoenix Wright Trilogy Playthrough Of 2024 was this summer! It was very much a tether to sanity and I'm very grateful towards @lazuliquetzal for letting me watch her play and for making the experience so much fun. A very intricate bedrock of lore/in-jokes developed. Edgeworth thinks he discovered homosexuality and younger sister figures are mandatory in a court of law. We found it extremely well-written, very funny, and really interesting in character dynamics. I also got her to play Ghost Trick, which was awesome as usual. We're currently both obsessing about different things - and my fanfic to-do list is already VERY long - so no fanfic is actually in the works right now.

Of course I've already written some, who do you take me for. I wrote this just for us, so it's unfinished and rife with our in-jokes, but somewhat shockingly it probably has the densest joke-to-word ratio that I've ever written. Sometimes I want to continue writing something, but I look at it and I'm like, 'This is too good. I can't keep up this level of good. I can't reach this high again'. The short fanfic - sourced from our recurring jokes/efforts to figure out [SPOILERS FOR ACEATT3] how blind Godot is exactly, and what I would have found the most interesting - is, believe it or not, too good to keep writing.

Zany fanfic and spoilers for Ace Attorney 3 under the cut.

           As it turned out, there was a prosecutor’s lounge.

           Like a lot of Phoenix’s least favorite facts, it was both obvious in retrospect and deeply disturbing. The defendant’s lounge had an obvious purpose: confer with your client, beg them to tell you simple facts that would determine if they were sentenced to death via electric chair, let your coworkers blow off steam by making fun of you. Gumshoe is useful at the least useful second. None of these banal and extraordinarily stressful events had anything to do with a prosecutor.

           That was why Edgeworth had always wandered into the defendant’s lounge and made vague yet affectionate threats at Phoenix. If he had his own sterile room to stand around awkwardly, he surely would have done so. This felt so obvious it ought to have gone without saying. There couldn’t, like, actually be a real lounge. That would imply a lot of things about Edgeworth’s choices. 

As a result, when Gumshoe tossed Phoenix the updated coroner’s report and asked him to run it to the prosecutor’s lounge, Phoenix’s first instinct was to contemplate suicide. His only remaining link to sanity was the knowledge that running Gumshoe’s errands to an imaginary room was better than the alternative of staying here.

           Much better. Gumshoe was looking at Maggey, Maggey was refusing to look at Gumshoe, Phoenix wanted to be nowhere near any of this, and he was taking the out. Gumshoe might as well have asked him to go check if his refrigerator was running. Call him a mechanic, because he grabbed both Maya and Pearl and high-tailed it out of there.

           He had to ask for directions three different times before he even found the place. It was a place that could be found. In real life. Phoenix better go catch his fucking refrigerator!

It was also right next door to the defendant’s lounge. Had this really been here the entire time? Could Phoenix have been wandering into Edgeworth’s lobby and making vague yet affectionate threats at him? He could have even stood in front of the door and blocked Edgeworth’s ritualistic escape from his feelings. His was a life of missed opportunities.

           “I bet they have free coffee,” Maya said grimly. “I bet they have tacos.”

           “With free avocados,” Phoenix intoned. “As much as they want. Maybe caviar.”

           Pearl blasted her large and doleful eyes up at Nick. “Why don’t you put avocados on the tacos you make for us? I love them…”

           Poverty, but he couldn’t tell her that. Nick settled for patting her on the head. “Avocados are as immoral as the prosecutors themselves, Pearly. It’s a matter of ethics.”

           “Ethics are so overrated,” Maya said mournfully, kicking the doors open. “Let’s go evil, Nick. For the sake of the children.”

           The cops inside did not appreciate Maya’s dynamic entry, but nobody ever did. Disappointingly, the prosecutor’s lounge was identical to the defendant’s one – down to the cops, cheap sofa, and ugly-ass art. The only difference was – son of a bitch, they did have coffee!

           Entirely possible that Godot refused to step foot inside the courthouse unless they installed a coffee machine. But it was the principle of the thing, goddamn it! Nobody ever cared about Phoenix’s hunger strikes!

           Potentially entirely due to coffee, Godot was sitting on the scratchy sofa with his head tilted back and one earbud in his ear. Its cord snaked onto the cushions of the couch, attacked to some small black media player. Was he awake? Was he asleep? Was he dead? If they were really quiet, would he sleep through the trial and leave Phoenix to win by default –

           “They have a chartreuse board!” Maya screeched. “Those rat bastards!”

           Pearl gasped, hands flying to her mouth. “Is that sushi? Free sushi!? I love sushi!”

           “Get my purse, Pearl-chan! Grab much as you can!”

           “So it’s hereditary,” Godot growled. Phoenix winced, instinctively checking for coffee cups in his vicinity. The familiar cheap coffee table seemingly only had one, but on closer look Nick could tell that they were carefully stacked into each other. How tidy! “How did you even know this place existed, Trite?”

           One of these days Phoenix was going to start pronouncing his name “guh-dot”. That would show him. He hadn’t mustered the courage yet, but one of these days! “How could I not know it existed?” Poker face, Phoenix. Look condescending. Evoke Edgeworth. Show him what’s what. Literally nobody else you know is scared of him, therefore you are not scared of him, we are manifesting absolute zen in the face of the tallest man Phoenix had ever met in his life. He was sitting down. This shouldn’t be hard. “It’s right next to the defendant’s lounge, how could we miss it?”

           “Is that so?” Godot slowly leaned forward, like a great beast awakening from a mighty slumber. His movements were stiff and disjointed, like a fat bear waking from hibernation. “The spotlight of truth must be like a floodlight to the most enlightened defense lawyers. Illuminating all. Hiding nothing. But shadows cling to the undersides of society, and true darkness lurking underneath the charcuterie board –“

           “I have the updated coroner’s report,” Phoenix said, flapping the envelope loosely. “Gumshoe wanted you to have the other copy.”

           “Yeah, give it here.”

           “If the charcuterie board is evil don’t tell me.” Maya was plowing through a hunk of goat cheese like a rabid coyote. “I don’t wanna know. None of my business. Put the wasabi in my coin purse, Pearl-chan.”

           There was something inherently evil about having a cheeseboard at the workplace, but the legal system couldn’t get much worse. Godot didn’t stand up from the couch – he just thrust out a hand, making shockingly childish little grabby hands, forcing Phoenix to cross the entire room and put it in his hands. Pearl ran up to Phoenix and helpfully smeared wasabi on his hand.

           Godot took the coroner’s report and dropped it on the table. He leaned back, reaffixing his earbud in his ear. “Charmed. Clean us out of the nori, girls, it’s Payne’s favorite and I want him to experience suffering.”

           Pearl helpfully tugged at Phoenix’s sleeve, dying it a light green. If he lost this case because the judge thought he smelled bad… “Can you pour me the last of the coffee, Mr. Nick? I wanna be a big girl and do it for me but the big jug is too heavy.”

           “Are you kidding? You’re way too young for coffee.” The last thing they needed was a nine year old bouncing off the walls. In a courtroom. During a murder case. Phoenix turned to Godot, who was biting his tongue and barely restraining himself from cursing out a nine year old. Was that blood? “You’ll want to take a look at that, Mr. Godot. There’s a new piece of evidence that could change everything.”

           “Save the dramatics for the courtroom.” Godot leaned back again, waving his hand absently. Yeah, that was definitely blood on his yellowed teeth. Phoenix had to admire the restraint. “What’s this new tidbit that’s so important, then?”

           Was he everyone’s errand boy? “The report’s right there, read it yourself.”

           “Seems like I was correct in pegging you as the lazy type, Trite. Look at you refusing to do a simple task.”

           Pearl made an ‘ooo’ing noise behind her hands. Maya broke a cracker in half, giving her the smaller piece. “Don’t say that world, Pearl-chan.”

           “What wo –“

           “You can’t insult me into doing the most basic aspect of your job. You read it.”

           “I’m a busy man. I’m hard at work actually making justice.” But he was sleeping?! “Defense attorneys clearly have nothing better to do than eat our precious cheeses. Show me that you can do the most basic element of the job.”

           Talk about a turnabout! This man had cranked the hostility meter up towards eleven and broke the knob off. Francizka had spent most of a year almost gnawing his face off, but she had never made Phoenix feel so specially hated. “Sorry, Godot, I’m not falling for it. But you’ll definitely want to read the report yourself. It has essential information for the trial in literally five minutes.”

           “If it’s so important than why did we give it to him at all?” Maya garbled, spewing pita chips everywhere. “We could have hid it and won this case!”

           “Because that’s unethical –“

           “You never let anything go! You and your silly ethics –“

           “Silly?!”

           Godot leaned forward and swept his hand over the table with incredibly unnecessary drama. He swept the folder into his hands, yanking the crumpled police report out. He ostentatiously snapped the paper and held it up to his visor, reading it closely. He nodded several times. He even hummed once.

           Finally, Godot straightened and tossed the report on the table. “Boring! So much for crucial evidence. You’re looking at the shadows in the cave and calling them innocent of heinous crimes, Mr. Trite. Turn away from illusions and overcome your cowardice by entering the deepest depths of Plato’s cave, facing your inner demons and reckoning with the truth of –“

           “Boring?” Phoenix cried. “The window for the potential time of the murder is completely different than we thought? And I’m the one living in a fantasy land?”

           Godot stared at him. “Really?” Phoenix made a garbled noise of outrage. Godot ignored him. “What’s the new window, then?”

           “Read it yourself!”

           “Hm.” Godot angled his head to the side, facing away from Phoenix. “Hey, little girl. I bet you can’t read.”

           Going for the throat?! Pearl clearly didn’t know whether or not to puff herself up in indignation or start crying. “I am such a good reader!!!!”

           “Really? Prove it.” Godot picked up the crumpled page and wave it at her. “Or are you a liar?”

           “Being a liar is for bad girls! I am a very good girl!” Pearl reached up on her tip-toes and nabbed the paper out of Godot’s hands. She scanned the page seriously, eyebrows furrowed. “Here! Right here! The new time of death is –“

           “Are you making a nine year old read a coroner’s report?!”

           Maya slurped slivers of ginger with pitying eyes. “She channels the dead, Nick.”

           “And that’s the time,” Pearl finished smugly. Phoenix hadn’t even heard her say it. She held out the papers to Godot again, who ignored her. “Now you know the time, because I am such a good reader.”

           “You’re a diamond in the rough, kid,” Godot told her seriously. “Never let these dullards dull your shine.”

           “My name’s not Diamond,” Pearl informed him, equally seriously. “It is Pearl Fey. Don’t feel bad. It’s a very common mistake.”

           “I don’t make mistakes, kid. I’m just one step ahead of reality. Count on it.”

           “You don’t have to be prideful, Mr. Godot.” Pearl smiled brightly and encouragingly at him, as if she was trying to connive a pit bull into a doing a trick. “It’s okay if you aren’t a good reader. Or if you aren’t a good speller. I’m a bad speller but that doesn’t make me a bad reader. Being a bad speller has nothing to do with being a good reader. I am a piece of decisive evidence about that.”

           Maya looked grimly at Phoenix, who was contemplating suicide again. “We’re ruined her vocabulary.”

           “We let her sit in during murder cases, Maya.”

           “And it’s ruined her vocabulary.”

           “What’s ruined your brain?”

           “Do you need me to read more things for you?” Pearl asked sweetly. “I like practicing my reading. I’m always practicing with Mr. Nick’s court records. They’re lots of fun and very educational. I can read ‘five counts of manslaughter’ very well. Do you want to see me spell it?”

           Godot looked at Maya. He looked at the coffee table, where the papers were not. He looked contemplative, maybe. Finally, he said, “How are you at serving coffee?”

           “If the jug is medium sized I can be very good at it!”

           “You’re hired.”

           Alright, that was enough. Phoenix had a lot of responsibilities, but his responsibility to Maya and Pearl came before every single one. That conviction had been put to test during that awful Engarde case. Phoenix almost sacrificed his integrity as a lawyer for Maya’s sake - he was not going to lose it now!

           “Absolutely not,” Phoenix said. It didn’t matter how insanely tall this guy was. Phoenix was taking a stand - right here, right now. Granted, the stand would go to his shoulder, but it was the conviction that counted! “Child labor is against the law, and her legal guardian does not give consent for this.” Phoenix made dangerous eyes at a cowed Maya, just to reaffirm that her legal guardian was not giving consent. “Don’t you have your own co-counsel? Make them do your chores, and stop stealing mine!”

           “I wasn’t planning on paying her,” Godot said affably. “That’s a violation of child labor laws, you know.”

           Maya appeared to be seriously considering his proposal. Which shouldn’t have been a big deal, but please refer back to the legal guardian wrinkle in this case. “I don’t know, Nick. Don’t you think it’s time Pearl flew out from underneath your shadow? It’s not exactly as if you pay me either.”

           “You’ll get paid when you do something helpful that gets me paid,” Phoenix said instantly. Maya glumly accepted this reality. “There’s no paycheck in moral support, Maya. Godot can use his own co-counsel –“

           “I don’t have a co-counsel,” Godot said. “Do I look like I’ve received an ounce of moral support in the last four years? Of kindness? Hell has no comradeship.”

           Phoenix flapped a hand. “Yeah, whatever. Your plucky imouto, co-counsel, whatever. Just get her to do it.”

           For the first time, Godot actually gave him a baffled look. Maybe. It was insanely hard to tell. “What would I do with a – younger sister, is it?”

           Everybody froze. You could have heard a penny drop. Maya and Pearl’s eyes practically goggled out of their heads.

           Godot just stood there, ignoring Pearl and Maya but clearly unsettled by the silence. “Cream and sugar undercuts the delectable bitterness of the black coffee. A life without siblings is a satisfyingly dark roast.”

           Slowly, Phoenix said, “I’m sorry. You’re a lawyer with no plucky female sidekick?”

           “I’ve had kouhai,” Godot said defensively. “I have a certain talent for mentorship –“

           “Mentorship? What makes you think you’re qualified to give any sort of mentorship? You’re a rookie!” Phoenix said the word ‘rookie’ like how Edgeworth said ‘polyester’, which was deeply satisfying. “And haven’t you lost every case you’ve ever taken?”

           Maya looked close to tears. “No wonder he’s such an awful lawyer…he doesn’t have a single imouto.”

           “Is that the ‘hell’ Mr. Godot talks about?” Pearl asked, voice wavering. “A world with no women?”

           “You’re projecting,” Godot snapped. “Just because you’re surrounded by teenage girls all day doesn’t mean any other lawyer is obligated to do the same.”

           “Any good lawyer. Why do you think Edgeworth has an imouto.” The thought of Edgeworth with no Franciska to hone his…edge…how sad. “And Franciska has Edgeworth as an imouto. This is law one-oh-one, Godot.” Phoenix propped his hands on his hips, grinning. “Hah! No wonder you can’t beat me! You don’t know the first thing about law, do you?”

           “And he can’t read,” Maya said sadly. “Maybe Mr. Godot isn’t exaggerating when he tells us how sad and pathetic he is…”

           “You thought he was exaggerating?”

           The tragic sight of the thoroughly baffled man clearly tugged at Pearl’s heartstrings, but she quickly found her resolve too. She rolled up her sleeves, as if they were at the office and she was ready to attack Phoenix’s toilet with a scrub brush. Once she had almost fallen in. “That does it! If Mr. Godot doesn’t have an imouto, then I’ll - ”

           “Nope. His problem, not ours.” Frankly, Phoenix was just trash talking a little. If you pretended Edgeworth and Franciska didn’t exist – impossible for Phoenix, but he could stretch his imagination – then Godot was a pretty good lawyer. To be a pretty good lawyer without the massive handicap of no young girl…Phoenix better stop giving the competition a hand like this. “Come on, the security guard’s started glaring at us again. It’s definitely time to start the trial.”

           “Your face will freeze like that, you know,” Pearl seriously told the security guard. He didn’t visibly react to her words at all. Maybe Pearl was onto something… “Mr. Nick, I have a duty to my fellow man -”

           “You can practice your reading with picture books, like a normal kid.” Pearl indignantly opened her mouth, doubtlessly about to launch into a meandering and breathless rant about her favorite Newberry Award winning children’s book author. “In English, not Japanese. Reading in English is your problem. At this rate you’re going to know how to read legalese and nothing else.” Phoenix yanked open the door, shepherding both girls out. Maya quickly stuffed more California rolls in her sleeve. “Bad enough Maya’s neglecting – Jesus Christ!”

           “You can’t give me a hard time about that,” Maya said reproachfully. “I’m Shinto.”

           Obviously, goddamn Gumshoe was at the door, one fist raised and clearly about to knock. His fist fell at the exact moment that Phoenix opened the door, and Phoenix only barely avoided a royal smack on the head by via Gumshoe’s meaty fist. He really couldn’t afford another concussion at this rate! CTE was a very serious brain disorder!

           “Mr. Wright! Hey, I thought I’d find you here! Right underneath my fist too! How’s that for some detective work, huh!” Gumshoe laughed uproariously, as if his crush wasn’t about to board her kayak and start doing the death row. And as if he hadn’t told Phoenix to go here. “Well, enough playing around! It’s time to get back to it! There’s no excuse for slacking off when Maggey’s life is on the line, you know!”

           “You’re the one who sent me on an errand!” Phoenix snapped. He shut the door tightly behind him. The last thing he needed was Godot adding his two cents. Or, knowing his wordiness, his two dollars. And change. “Did you forget telling me to give Godot the coroner’s report? It was five minutes ago!”

           “What? Why would I do that?” Gumshoe paused a second, creaky and rusty gears churning in his brain. Maya made demonstrative kissy noises. “Oh, yeah! Did you read it out to him?”

           Phoenix was going to have a fucking aneurysm. “Is there some reason why Prosecutor Godot is incapable of doing his own work? I’m already doing half the prosecutor’s job in the courtroom anyway!”

           “Some reason? Uh, yeah.” Gumshoe scratched the back of his neck, quirking an eyebrow. “It’s not exactly as if he can read the thing, you know.”

           “Oh my god,” Maya whispered, “he really can’t read.”

           Pearl’s eyes were brimming with tears. “A lawyer who can’t read…he’s so brave!”

           “Brave is one word for it,” Phoenix said flatly. How could he have ever been scared of this guy? No imouto, no literacy…the only thing impressive about him was how he’d even gotten this far. “It’s not my problem if Godot dropped out of fourth grade. He’s giving me enough problems, tell him to solve his own.”

           For some reason, Gumshoe outright glared at Phoenix. Phoenix was getting used to his misplaced ire over Xirneohp, but what did Maggey have to do with this? If anything, he should be thanking Phoenix for refusing to help the competition. “That’s out of line, pal! Haven’t you heard of basic human decency?”

           “In a courtroom? No.”

           “He’s got you there,” Maya said wisely. “When Nick’s putting the ‘Nick’ in ‘panicked’, then he can do some pretty sketchy stuff –“

           “And you call me the narc?!”

           “The courtroom doesn’t matter.” Gumshoe was still scowling at Phoenix. Of course it’s only Phoenix who gets treated like this. Edgeworth insults Gumshoe all day and he’s still his biggest fan. “I told you specifically to read out the autopsy report so Prosecutor Godot could record it into his PDA. Then he always labels it with that funny little label maker of his. You gotta get your ears cleaned out, pal.”

           Phoenix turned to Maya and Pearl, silently pleading for backup. Gumshoe was making Phoenix doubt his own sanity. Normally he just made Phoenix think he was losing it.

           But Maya just looked tragically disappointed in him. “Nick…you didn’t even let Godot label it with his funny little label maker?”

           Desperately, Phoenix rounded on Pearl. He was ready to fake tears. But Pearl just looked ready to whale on him with her little fists. “How could you, Mr. Nick? I didn’t get to see Mr. Godot’s cassette recorder! I’ve always wanted to touch one!”

           “Ah, Prosecutor Godot’s things are always super fun to touch!” At least Gumshoe looked sufficiently cheered up. “His bumpy labels make no sense to me, but I think they’re super cool. Like a secret code or something. But Prosecutor Godot always dumps coffee on my head when I mess around with them…makes me put ‘em back in order, then he says I’m doing it wrong, and…I won’t say I miss the whip, but prosecutors can be so rough sometimes.”

           Wait. Hold on a minute. Several different small pieces clicked into place, and Phoenix’s familiar trusty intuition began to churn its gears. Phoenix raised one finger, and Gumshoe instinctively ducked. “Detective…that label maker wouldn’t happen to be a Braille label maker, would it?”

           Gumshoe brightened, nodding voraciously. Then he apparently remembered he was angry at Phoenix, and started scowling instead. “Yeah, that’s what he called it! And I’ve just caught ya in a contradiction, pal! You said I didn’t tell you about the bumpy label maker. But you obviously knew what it was, didn’t you? You really were lacking human decency on purpose, weren’t you!”

           Cool. Phoenix wished he was dead.

  Both girls looked at Phoenix immediately, correctly deducing the return of his consistent suicidality but uncertain of the cause. Phoenix pinched the bridge of his nose, hard. “Braille is an alphabet for the blind. You read it by feeling little bumps with your fingers. Apparently Prosecutor Godot is some level of blind. And apparently nobody saw fit to tell us this.”

“Did we gotta?” Gumshoe asked blankly. “Mr. Godot doesn’t like talking about it.”

“Yes, you gotta! Now I look like some kind of - you know!”

Sure enough, Maya was giving him the most judgmental look he’d ever seen. Her face when full-ass adult Maximillian admitted that he had asked a sixteen year old to marry him was nothing in comparison. “You were bullying the blind, Nick? I can’t believe you!”

What was it, bully Phoenix for something that was not his fault week? “It’s his fault for not saying anything -”

“Victim blaming?!”

“I thought he was just being an as - jerk again! It’s not exactly out of character!”

“Ableism,” Maya denounced. Phoenix drooped. “I can’t believe it. I expected better from you, Nick.”

“I’m literally ADHD, don’t give me this -”

“Who isn’t autistic?” Maya said frankly. “That doesn’t count.”

“Plenty of people in this world are neurotypical, Maya.” 

He’d had to explain this multiple times. Sometimes she even made him doubt himself. It wasn’t as if he knew neurotypical people. The people in Phoenix’s life either knew they were neurodivergent or thought that normal people were the freak. Most fell into the later category. Unfortunately. Lana wasn’t winning sister of the year, but Ema’s diagnosis and Ritalin prescription was probably his sole link to sanity during that case. Phoenix had a conspiracy theory that Gumshoe plus Ritalin would produce a shockingly competent person. Like everybody else on the prosecutor’s side, he had no idea.

There was no way Edgeworth knew he was autistic, but Phoenix was softening him up for the revelation. He had to take it slow. Couldn’t afford for him to run off to the Philippines to find himself and then come home acting as if he invented autism. Again. Like he did with homosexuality. Shut up about the German discotheques, Edgeworth!

“Mr. Godot is blind?” Pearl gasped. Horrifically, Phoenix was relieved that she knew what blind people were. “Is that why he couldn’t read? And you made fun of him! That’s bullying, Mr. Nick!”

This was a thousand times worse coming from Pearl. “I wouldn’t say I made fun of him,” Phoenix said evasively. “If anything, I really think he’s been bullying me.” This did not impress Maya and Pearl, who somehow only looked more disappointed in him. Phoenix began to sweat. “I got nothing against the disabled, guys. They’re - like, they’re fine! Some of my best friends are -”

“Autism doesn’t count,” Maya said frostily. “You’ll never get your Disability Awareness and Inclusion Girl Scout badge at this rate, Nick.”

“I - am I a nine year old girl now? Seriously?”

Pearl straightened, eyes widening. “I’m a nine year old girl!” Phoenix gestured towards her, emphasizing the handful of differences between them. Gumshoe nodded vigorously. “Can I get a disability aware badge? I’m aware of disabled people!” Left unsaid: unlike Phoenix, apparently. Yet another difference between him and nine year old girls.

“You aren’t a Girl Scout,” Phoenix said, exhausted. “If that’s something you’re interested in, we can sign you up -”

“Girl Scouts! That’s a great idea. I was a Girl Scout way back when. It was awfully rewarding.” Gumshoe gave Pearl a big thumbs up, as if he hadn’t casually dropped the most insane bomb of all time and promptly moved on. “You’re probably overqualified for the Legal Expert and Fortune Teller badges. You could really make it!”

That was it. They had lost her. Pearl rolled her sleeves up, puffing out her chest with pride, and before Phoenix could react she had already turned around and pushed the lobby doors open. They swung open with a theatrical flair, revealing -

Godot, just on the other side of the doors. Judging by his somewhat harried look and unbalanced stance, he had also just barely managed to avoid door-to-face impact. Or, more likely, door-to-visor impact. 

Pearl either didn’t notice or didn’t care. She jabbed a finger at Godot, who still seemed dazed from the unintentional assault. “I’m taking your case, Mr. Godot! I’ll be your co-counsel! I’ll find you innocent of all charges - um, not that!”

“I lost all innocence a long time ago,” Godot said darkly. He pushed past them, flagrantly brushing off everybody. “If you wish to scout for something, scout for that. It ought to distract you from standing around and wasting time with meaningless gossip.”

Phoenix winced. He didn’t seem very happy. But he never really did - cheerful and amused, frequently, but almost never actually happy. “Uh, hey, man. I’m really sorry about - in my defense, you were actively hiding it -”

“Classic defense attorney,” Maya announced. “Always defending himself!”

“Mr. Edgeworth says that the attorney who represents himself has a fool for a client,” Pearl said helpfully, blissfully unaware of that one time Phoenix had to defend himself against a murder charge. Edgeworth had known. Obviously. 

“Save your pity, Trite. Save it for the courtroom. So you can pity yourself.” Godot held up one hand, not even bothering to aim it in Phoenix’s direction. “Out of all of your victims, of course you would pity yourself the most.”

“Dude,” Phoenix said, “did I, like, ghost you the morning after or something? I’m sorry about it, but becoming a lawyer because I didn’t text you back is a little weird.”

“A little weird?” Gumshoe said, baffled. “That’s a crazy accusation, Wright. Who would become a whole lawyer because of a guy?” Phoenix looked at the ceiling. Godot coughed. “I don’t like the sound of that cough, pal.”

“For whom does the bell toll, Detective?” Godot said. Maya looked actively distressed as she attempted and failed to decipher what the fuck he meant by that. “I’ll see you all in court. Prepare yourselves. I don’t intend on losing to the likes of you.”

He turned on his heel, striding down the hallway and escaping them all as quickly as possible. Pearl gasped, and she immediately let go of Maya’s hand so she could set off barrelling down the hallway. “Hold on! Wait for me, Mr. Godot!”

Godot didn’t look back. But he did slow until Pearl caught up, and when she shoved her little hand in his large one he didn’t pull away. 

Gumshoe scratched his chin. Maya squinted at the departing duo, obviously wondering how Godot knew where to take a left turn at the hallway. Phoenix made a mental note of it too. For a blind guy, he was really familiar with the courthouse…which meant that Phoenix’s mistake was perfectly reasonable! Anybody would make it! “Just double checkin’. You two are actually cool with sending off a little girl with the sketchiest grown man ever? Completely unsupervised and stuff?”

What, seriously? Phoenix and Maya glanced at each other before shrugging. “If you can’t trust your coworkers,” Maya intoned seriously, “you can’t trust anybody. Nobody’s more trustworthy than a real lawyer.”

“And Edgeworth recommended him,” Phoenix pointed out. “Good enough for me. The state of California would never have certified him as a defense attorney if he wasn’t trustworthy.”

“That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about the law to dispute it,” Gumshoe said cheerfully, displaying a chain of logic that had proven extremely convenient for Phoenix over the years. Maya had once tricked Gumshoe into letting them into a crime scene by pretending that there was a legal holiday once a year where every law and police procedure was inverted. “Don’t we got a trial to hit, anyway?”

“Shit!”

Pearl’s inaugural performance as the prosecution’s co-counsel/imouto went off without a hitch. Phoenix couldn’t be prouder of her efforts. She played her part perfectly: from the well-timed timed motivational encouragements to tension-relieving funny quips, she was a natural. Her only experience co-counseling with Phoenix had been very stressful for her, so Phoenix was happy to see her shine with confidence. Pearl Fey was truly suited for villainy.

She even went above and beyond into the role of personal assistant imouto. She carefully managed the presented evidence, holding up the right photograph or blood-stained object for the purview of the court. Pearl read out any written reports, described the evidence that Phoenix presented, and reported on any notable body language. Phoenix wasn’t sure if Godot knowing that ‘the Defense looks like you ate the last onigiri he was saving for lunch…’ was remotely helpful, but it was cute. Godot better realize how lucky he was to have such a top-quality imouto at his side today. It confused the judge, but what didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” the judge said, as Pearl carefully withdrew a generic white coffee mug from a large box underneath the table. Seemingly…filled with more mugs.  “Doesn’t that little girl belong to the Defense?”

“The Defense is loaning her out today,” Phoenix said seriously. Pearl began wrangling a coffee pot the size of her head. “Don’t worry, it’s not a conflict of interest.”

“I see!” Pearl carefully tipped the large pot into the white mug. It spilled everywhere, but coffee was poured. “And what is a ‘conflict of interest’?”

“Obscure old legal term. Don’t worry about it.” Pearl reached over the table and attempted to slide the mug towards Godot, as the unlucky draftee from the audience always did. He just pointed at a random pot in the crowd and told somebody that they were in charge of his coffee today. Terribly unorganized way to do things. 

“Watch it, you senile old man. The Defense is distracting you with outdated legal concepts. Focus on the most important aspect of this case!” Why was only the prosecution allowed to insult the judge! Why were they the only ones allowed to get away with that! Seriously unfair! As if Phoenix didn’t want to strangle the judge with his own two hands too?!

The mug scooted forward a little, but barely moved. Pearl scowled and tried again, sliding the mug forward a few inches and sloshing coffee over the side again. Pearl huffed in frustration before carefully cupping her hand around the mug and pushing it forward as she walked down the table. 

Godot cupped his hand on the table and let Pearl push the cup into his hand. Then he slammed the table, throwing his head back and chugging the entire mug of steaming hot coffee in one go. He slammed the mug back on the table. Pearl carefully retrieved it. 

“The fact that the old man and this fake Frenchman saw the accused put poison in the cup!” Godot announced. “That’s one fact that can’t be denied! Not by a reliable witness!”

Pearl clapped. Godot patted her on the head. Phoenix groaned.

Phoenix got his way - as usual - by the skin of his teeth - as usual. He was going to have a heart attack before he was thirty at this rate. Phoenix and Maya waited in the courtroom lobby for almost fifteen minutes before Pearl finally came running up to them. She was beaming, cheeks flushed red with pride. 

“Great job out there today, Pearl!” Maya cheered, clapping her hands. Yeah - a little too good. Godot’s performance in court was way smoother than last time. Maybe he was just getting his sea legs, but Phoenix never underestimated the power of young girls pursuing merit badges. “Are you ready to go home?”

“Nuh-uh! Mr. Godot said he’s gonna take me out for ice cream!” Pearl thrust her hand out, shining the biggest, wettest gaze directly into his eyes. “Can I have money for ice cream, Nick? Please?”

“Typically speaking, when you take people out for food, you’re the one paying,” Phoenix said flatly. “Mr. Godot’s on a prosecutor’s salary and I’m representing a waitress. He can pay.” 

“Mr. Godot doesn’t get paid,” Pearl said frankly. “He said he does it for the love of the game.”

This was somehow the most surprising thing he’d heard all day and completely predictable. 

Maya frowned, tilting her head. It was a gesture he’d seen in Mia a thousand times. Even after all this time, Maya still hurt him in those little ways. “Prosecutors get paid by the government. How do you legally work for the government and not get paid?”

“Maybe he’s a volunteer?” Phoenix suggested. “People volunteer at places, right? Like…in zoos?”

“That makes sense!” Maya said brightly, clapping her hands together. “Zoos, a court of law…what’s the difference, right?”

“After we’re done with it, not much.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t meet the parrot,” Pearl said, crushed by the immovable weight of the world’s injustices. “I wanted to make friends. We have so much in common.”

Maya sympathetically patted Pearl’s back. “You do! You’re both so good at imitating voices! Maybe one day Phoenix can cross-examine you too, huh?”

Nope. No. No way! “Not happening. I’ve accused every imouto I’ve ever had of murder on the stand. Pearl’s merciless enough, we can’t take that chance. She wouldn’t make it a day in prison.” 

“Sounds like a you problem,” Maya said, unimpressed. “Godot would never accuse an imouto of murder. He’s a bro like that.”

“He’s a prosecutor, it’s not his job -”

“Apparently being a prosecutor isn’t his job either.”

“You’d make an unemployed man pay for my ice cream?” Pearl demanded. “For shame, Mr. Phoenix Wright!”

Phoenix sighed and pulled out his wallet. He didn’t know why he wasted time pretending this wasn’t going to happen. Pity he wasn’t in the habit of accepting the inevitable. His life would be a lot easier.

[melanieryssel]

How Genshin's Characters would react to seeing your build

Character: Scaramouche/Wanderer, Albedo, Bennett, Heizou

A/n: Hello it's been a while, hope everyone is doing well. I'm really happy to see likes and reblogs on my last posts, it means a lot to me ❤️ My life is getting a bit overwhelming so It's harder to write anything recently. But writing about fictional characters like this brings comfort to me. Hope you enjoy this story.

Scaramouche/Wanderer

The last thing you have ever wanted to happen if you somehow, one day meet your favorite Genshin's character is for them to find out your build on them. It will be even worse if it's Scaramouche.

If you have a good build on him, a nice ratio, constellations, or his signature weapon, Scaramouche might appear fairly pleased. He will act unimpressed anyway. However, if Scaramouche is the only character or one of the few characters you had seriously invested in, he would definitely show off to other characters how obsessed you are with him.

Don't worry if you are a f2p player (just like me) because Scaramouche won't judge you, except when you have a bad build on him. Even though it's probably not your fault that Rukkhashava Mushroom is the worst to collect or your bad luck on artifacts, he will mock at you. As rude and mean as Scaramouche is, he won't let this slide. But he is also a cutie who has no idea how to comfort or encourage people, he will use his way to help you build him again.

Just in case you have c2 Raiden or a godly build on her, please try your best to hide it from him if you don't want this to become the fourth betrayal.

Heizou

After seeing all the five stars artifacts and best weapons on his build, the detective is just too stunned to speak. Although he would hardly say anything emotional to you, but deep down, he would feel sensational and grateful for how you did your best for him.

If you have an unfinished build on him because of those damn Onikabuto, he will give you a look of surprise and say something like "Onikabuto is everywhere in Inazuma Y/n". He just doesn't get it but he will help you at the end with his detective skills. He will charge you some mora thou.

If you have a godly build on him, Heizou will secretly admire how talent and hard-working you are. You might try to tell him that the only reason why you can build him so well is that he is already a strong character in the first place, but Heizou won't believe it since he's only a detective in lore. You suggest that the best way to prove it is to do a showcase and he reluctantly agrees with you. So you call Mona, Bennet, and other support characters to come to help you.

Heizou still happily does showcase with you, but little did he know, he'd better crit or he will have to do this a bunch of times.

Albedo

As gentlemanly as he is, Albedo would never judge you, especially when he understands all the uphill struggles you have to face if you want to build him well.

Albedo would not hesitate to shower you with compliments if you have a good build for him no matter which build it is (support, dps, sup-dps, or even a healer). He would likely praise you for the smallest thing, a max-level talent, a great piece of artifact, a high-level weapon, or a good team composition. In Albedo's eyes, you are nothing different from a real scientist or a researcher because of the way you calculated to balance all his statistics. Just tell him your difficulties, and Albedo will sit down and seriously discuss it with you.

If your build is unfinished or you don't have a good artifact set yet, he will help you in the domain. Albedo would try to calculate the artifact drop rate or even the weapon banners' rate to help your bad luck.

Bennett

Bennett will be in disbelief when he realizes he is in most of your team compositions, especially damage showcase teams. "Y-you want me in your team?" He says.

He would likely to get extremely emotional if you give him 4 pieces of Nobeless Oblige artifact. He might feel he doesn't deserve all those five stars artifacts and weapons, or worry his bad luck will affect your team, but you are quick to reassure Bennett. You claim that Bennett is the character that actually carried you when you were still a newbie to this game and how Bennett keeps your team surviving in the Abyss.

He would not mind if you merely build him with four stars artifacts or a low-level weapon. If you ask for his help, he will be even more than willing to be your companion. Although it could be a pretty tough journey since you guys both have bad lucks.

[blkkizzat]

Girl I’m literally so done with tumblr sometimes..

PEOPLE BLOCK ME FOR NO REASON ‼️😭

I have my age in my bio (not a minor) and I don’t have a blank blog and that’s mostly what people block for.

I was just going through my feed or whatever you wanna call it and I found this writer I really liked and decided to go on their blog and go through their master list to look at all their works, i get up from my phone for like a hour and I come back and..IM BLOCKED 😭 I’m so sad dude..maybe it was because I was spam liking so many of their posts? I honestly don’t know but this has happened to me like 3 times now and it disappoints me because they all had really good works on their pages 🙃

-🪼

Aweee 🪼 babes im so sorry!

idk, people block for anything these days tbh and i mean it's their right but i know it never feels good when it happens. i only know of like 2 people im blocked by and it was very much a huh moment but w/e, i just blocked back and went on about my day.

idk if you have a rules, or what content you reblog but some people block because people like/reblog dark content, age-up, etc, etc.

blocking for spam-liking is so stupid bc it does not shadowban you, literally an ex tumblr employee came out and said it too. and i know a bunch of likes isn't as good as a reblog which helps fic visibility more but contrary to popular believe likes DO help visibility!!!!!

By default, "Include posts liked by the blogs you follow" is activated in your dash settings. So unless a person turns it off (which i bet most people dont bother and dont even know its a thing) its very likely that a post you like, someone you follow will see.

this is what it looks like:

(literally just took that off my dash and it doesn't have to be based off a reblog this was just the first one i could find)

Not to mention theres many blogs complaining about lack of interactions but then by saying "no spam liking" pretty much scarring mofos into not to interacting with them dkjshfjhsd. madness luv, literally.

lmfao anyway, im so sorry you were blocked babes! all i can say is try to respect each blogs rules 🤷🏾‍♀️ but i definitely agree that im also a person thats not gonna like anything if i have to guess how many likes is spam for you or keep a tally of the like/reblog ratio lmfao nah im too autistic/nervous/anxious for that kfjhdkvajdhfk.

omg wanna know something embarrassing tho? once i was high and thought i was on my dash just liking away shit AND IT WAS ALL FROM ONE PERSON'S BLOG i was so embarrassed!!! but they didnt block me and i must have liked like 50 posts scrolling for a good hour kdhjdkfjhsd. so not only was i spam liking i was the creeper ho scrolling their page from posts like 6 months ago jfsdhkfdjhs 😭😭😭😭

[versegm]

A while back I ran numbers on my own fics right? Checking the hits/comment ratio. A friend of mine also did it for his own fics. Admitedly I don't remember exactly what my friend got but I think we got roughly the same results, ie: About 1% of the people who read a fic leave a comment behind.

This is mostly consistent across fandoms, though there are noticeable exceptions. I was personally extremely surprised to see that one of the worst commenting fandoms was Fate/Grand Order, which stood at a miserable 0,60% of comment/hit. Meaning that for every hundred people reading a fic, you're not even sure to get a single comment. That was doubly surprising because my Fate/Stay Night fics, which are part of the same serie, have a normal hit/comment ratio (actually much higher, 1,30% which is the highest of all fandoms I've ran this experiment for.)

I didn't really think much of it at the time, but recently I got chatting with a friend (who is like me a frequent filler for the nasu kinkmeme) about how there's a fuckton of fgo prompts, but very few people who actually fill them. So I had a theory, which I tested by running some numbers on random arknight fics on ao3. Spoiler: They also had an abyssimal hit/comment ratio (about 0,40%)

So my theory is thus: low level engagement/high demand for content is a gacha fandom issue. I sadly don't know enough about gacha culture to really hazard an explanation. Normally when a game is appreciated by normies who don't do fandom, that translates to a low hit count but the same percentage of comments for fanfics. Maybe gachas introduce people who don't normally do fandom to the concept of fanart & fanfic, so they don't know fandom etiquette yet? Maybe that's just the kind of culture normally birthed by games that encourage you to simp for a given character that isn't usually the focus of the story so you gotta outsource to find more of them?

I don't really have a point with this post, I just thought this was a very interesting fandom trend. Because the specific fandom behavior of "demands lots of stuff but refuses to comment or reblog or support artists" is one I've only ever seen before for like, kids shows, or generally demographics which attracts very young people who haven't grown up surrounded by "hey fic writers love comments you should comment" psa, so I find it really surprising to see that same behavior for a game where the target audience are adults with money.

Obligatory disclaimers:

I ran my arknights numbers on the top ten most read, english, non-crossover fics on ao3. If that didn't represent accurately the arknights demographics then whoops sorry.

These observations are made about the english-speaking side of fandom. Maybe people are more appreciative on pixiv fics idk I didn't check.

I am not a sociologist, I just notice trends and like to analyse them.

[araneitela]

6. What’s the worst thing about the fandom?

@basbousah // Prompt: Canon Questionnaire. // Accepting

6. What’s the worst thing about the fandom? I love how there's even the smallest sliver of opportunity for me to salt with this meme, and I latch onto it with both hands, supergluing myself to said chance. Any way, you asked, so here I go with the 'worst thing': the very high level of M/M fetishizing done not by Hoyo, but by its own audience; and not once, not twice, but with pretty much every single release of a male character (and hold my hand when two of them are released simultaneously). Perhaps I'm an odd one out here, but when the first reactions to male characters consist of 'omg I'm drooling, he's so hot' or immediate considerations of which other male character they'd like to see bone him, I can't help but lose a little bit of respect. And yes, I am referring to instances similar to Dr. Veritas Ratio in the bathtub, and Aventurine in his morning artwork.

And I have to draw this back to the female character sexualization thing for a second, because while yes, female characters are also sexualized, it is in a vastly different way and I'll be really honest, those tags are not half as full or bad as the M/M ones (and thankfully so at this point), nor do I have to read about how badly people are hungry to see x pound y into a mattress or wall with whatever additions. I just don't see it, and I've tried to find it for the hell of it to see whether I'm wrong, and so far? Outside of the quite graphically heavy NSFW AI-generated things that are often relegated to equally as AI-infested art databases: nothing's proved to me that I am, indeed, really wrong on this. On top of that, I can genuinely say that having written exclusively female muses within this fandom (and having exclusively written male muses in previous fandoms for years), I have not needed to build sky-high walls around them to keep myself far away from ship and subsequent NSFW thread-fishing. And honestly? I'm glad for it. I'm glad not to see tags filled with sexualizations, and I'm really glad to not have to always see rather uh, brutal and/or intense graphic drawings on X of what people want these characters to do to each other. Honestly, I'm kinda glad I don't have to see that level of hand-drawn thirsting when I go into the Kafka tag. I don't want to condemn artists for making art, but I will sometimes go 'why is this what you decide to draw within 48 hours of two male characters being released'? You know? I want to go more into this, but I may just... reblog a little salt meme for that instead. Let's not dump everything in the answer to an ask that's supposed to be innocent!

[elkkiel]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers

☺️💛

WWAAHHH MY LOVELIES 🩷🩷🩷🩷

super sorry for getting to these so late; I've been running low battery mode the past week or so but tysm for sending these in!!

**********

1: 5 things that make you happy (also from @wooly-nooly and @canadian-turtle ily 🩷)

Finally getting some time to fucking sleep lol. I've been grinding 6-7 days a week with virtually no rest days since the end of last August, so getting to slow down since school has now ended is so so nice

Finding joy in art again! Along with some needed sleep, I'm finally feeling like I'm able to claw my way out of the 2 jobs+academic work depression pits lol. I've got ideas for fanart for the first time in a number of years, so feeling that energy again is so refreshing

I am still riding off the high of IV on stage from this morning. I'm not getting over it any time soon and I don't want to get over it anyways lol

All of my laundry is clean for the first time in a month and a half! Sifting through dirty laundry for decent work clothes because you don't have the energy for basic chores really sucks; I am glad I don't have to spot clean my pants now :P

My coffee this morning was really good w/ a near perfect oat milk/espresso ratio. Very nice + a lil treat before a busy work day

**********

2: @vamprlestat you are the cutest ever 😭😭 tysm my darling, you're such a lovely person and I'm really glad to have you around :)

me @ u (/affectionate) :3

[x0401x]

i was a queue monitor for a source blog for almost two years and it just really tiring even with working with other people because by the end people got busy/other commitments/stopped being interested etc. i remember a few times queueing up about a week worth of posts for like two hours (and everything had to be tagged which was why it took so long) my thumbs were begging me to stop lmao

a lot of fandom 'elders' or the people who did like gif-ing especially didn't see a lot of results for their labor. no one was reblogging their posts and the high like to rb ration compared to the past was a heavy blow because tumblr is a blogging based platform and rb's are the only way for posts to passed around (esp on older posts like from 2014-16) also a lot of the older creators are transitioning from school to full time work

theres also this death of interacting which each other in a casual way (unless you have an established following for that and ask games) like there are posts going around being like you can talk to me! send me questions! etc etc but no one is really doing that

in terms of fan content like everyone waits for the one big current thing to talk about like rn with dungeon meshi i feel like the last anime to pop off like on tumblr was spy family which was like two(?) years ago (the other animes dont' really pop their head [like sleeping giants lmao] or like keep in their contained circles but i might be nickpicking here) also new people coming in and not adapting to tumblr blog culture like is there even a source blog for dungeon meshi?

i had a fandom post that reached 3k 873 rb to 2127 likes, the majority of the people rb the post from me rather than a person they followed, there were only like two major rb chains which speaks volumes about the current follow culture here, everyone is going through the tags rather than following the creators

sorry this was kinda a brain dump lmao

-tides

Damn, I wasn’t expecting to get a response to that post, but this explains a lot. Thanks for writing all of that down.

I knew about the like-reblog ratio problem but source blogs were created partly in order to encourage people to reblog stuff, so it’s sad to see that even they have fallen victims to this trend.

The Next Big Thing Syndrome (yeah, I’m calling it that) is also definitely a huge factor. I don’t think there are source blogs for DanMeshi, and you were the one who made me realize that. I’m baffled.

I also didn’t notice that the changes influx of followers and decreasing interactions were a thing for everyone. I honestly thought it was just me because I’d been on and off in unintentional semi-hiatuses last year. This is sad as hell.

And no, don’t apologize for the brain dump! This was very insightful, thank you!

[bugeyedfreaks]

Hey there!! I've lurked on your PPG blog for so long and always loved everything about it: the fantastic art you make and reblog, your jokes and observations, your critiques of the awful reboot, and especially the way you truly "get" the og show and just love its weird quirkiness that most people overlook! I was too shy to like your posts or send any asks for a long time, but I'm a long time fan of your blog and I'm so glad you're still around :)

Anyway all my rambling aside, I wanted to share some rare, possibly unofficial PPG merch I found a while ago!

They're actually charms/pins you put through the holes of Crocs shoes to display them as you walk around, if you can believe it haha! I don't own Crocs nor plan on getting them, but I was so surprised and delighted when I saw these at a random little stall in the middle of a walkway at a mall near me that I couldn't help buying them. :) They're about an inch tall and really high quality too. I'm not sure what they're made out of but it's rather rubber-like and pretty thick! I have no clue if these or any of the other, more-modern-pop-culture charms they were selling were actually official, but if so it's interesting (and a pleasant surprise!) they used the og art style for them when so much merch uses the reboot art style (or a mix of both, which is even worse somehow).

I quite like the poses they picked for these too! I definitely recognize Bubbles' and Buttercup's being movie-era/post-season-4-era promo art, but Blossom's is a mystery to me! The style looks more like season-1-to-4 I think (just look how different her head:body ratio is compared to her sisters' lol), and I don't recognize the pose at all (but I *love* it, so much action/movement in it!) both of which surprised me! If you happen to know where it's from I'd love to know!

!!!!! Awwwwwwww, you're way too sweet! 💖 I am so glad that you decided to unlurk and send me a message. I appreciate you and your many kind words!

And ooooooooh, the famous Crocs Jibbitz. It’s entirely possible that they could be official since, as you know from reading my rants about this sort of thing, whoever’s running the brand does allow manufacturers to go hog wild with using different eras of OG art. Buuuut if you bought them from one of the kinds of mall kiosks I'm imagining, and because Bubbles' one arm is miscolored, I would assume they're probably not legit... which is okay, I am 100% all for good quality bootlegs here. 😂 I swore that I had a better version, but this is the best I could find in my files:

...so it IS official art from somewhere, at least, and I swear I've seen it used on merch and stuff before. I reversed image searched for it and all I got was a link to this wiki page. There are pics with Bubbles and Buttercup that also have that shadow behind them, and yeah, they're definitely the S1-S4 designs (Bubbles is just ripped straight from that iconic pic of the three of them). Maybe these particular ones were images used on one of the CN websites at some point? No idea. It's definitely gotta be stock art from that era though.

[sc0tters]

https://www.tumblr.com/sc0tters/748024653586563072/its-official-nothing-feels-worse-than-feeling?source=share

whats going on bub 🙁

i'm clipping this because I know how pathetic I sound.

But right now I am just not always feeling loved on here? and recently I think I have been feeling more of the not loved than loved days.

Which I know is so stupid because I really shouldn't care about how any of you feel because as much as I love my lovelies I could walk past over 90% of you in the street and would be none the wiser.

It's just that I have only been on here since the end of July last year so even if I might have a lot of fics for people to pick and read from I in actuality often times feel like a baby who is still learning to crawl, as I try to find my space on here.

And I know this is one of my biggest flaws but as a person you could show me all of these things to express that you love me but unless it comes in the form of words I don't truly process it. So when I get a fic that has maybe one sometimes two people who give me any kind of feedback (comments, reblogs, notes into my inbox about the fic) for every 100 likes (that is a random ratio but I know if I looked it would be high) that something gets, it feels like a kick in the teeth.

Maybe it is meant to offer me a chance to reflect on what I write as I look at the works that I put out. Because maybe I need an actual players list for who I write for and not leave it up to anyone, or maybe this is a case of the quality of the writing or it's ideas are just really poor. I don't know and I will look to improve it wherever I can.

I just feel so stupid for actually caring about it right now? But if you got this far in reading this, thanks for listening I guess.

[andresindoril]

give us the top 10 from spotify wrapped

and then like 44 or sumn

pls

So, I do not know if that was earlier this year or if that was last year, but there was a bug that made Spotify get stuck replaying two songs in a row instead of moving along with the queue. I fear #1 and #3 might be from that? That OR just Spotify's shuffle being horrid. Mind you, I am not arguing on whether or not they are good songs, just that I do not recognize them by title.

#1. I have no memory of hearing this song. It is admirably inoffensive in that I also have no memory of hearing it yesterday despite queuing it up to see what it was and then forgot to listen for it and just did not notice it go past. Queued this up while writing the post and it is not bad. But yeah, a very mellow tune, so easy for it to slip past my attention, if it got stuck in a loop.

#2. This one on the other hand, I worked hard on. Got queued up a lot.

#3. This song also does not really ring a bell, so probably was paired up with #1 during the getting stuck bug thing. I feel very similarly about this as I do about the first spot. Not bad, but I have no memory of listening to this so many times.

#4. Yeah, I probably queued this up a few times. Did not realize I would have done that enough for it to show up here though. It is a bit nostalgic, I guess.

#5. I do adore this one, so I would have enjoyed it being higher than the two songs I do not recognize, but here we are.

#6. Clearly, I finally played Bastion this year. The music was quite good. Kept the ones with vocals for my main and jams playlists. Queued this one up quite a few times, clearly.

#7. Unfortunately I learned this year that the Dragula was actually quite a small car, but it is possible that Rob Zombie had a different car in mind. Something more hearse shaped maybe.

#8. This one Spotify kept feeding me long enough that I started enjoying it a fair bit. I love Land of Talk though, so I do not blame Spotify for this maneuver.

#9. This one is a classic, which is cause enough to say that I am happy it made the top 10.

#10. OVERKILL. I think Spotify just likes assigning Motörhead into my shuffles a lot, but I am surprised this got so high, considering I have no memory of this song either. Though the repeat bug did happen more than once, so maybe this was a victim of it at a point. I did somehow end up being in the top .0005% of Motörheads listeners. I just blame their library size to my playlist size ratio and Spotify's shuffle having preferences. Oh, it is that one. Yeah, it ain't bad. Spotify does love playing this during shuffle.

10 audios per post, so I will answer #44 in a reblog.

[dianoetikon]

I MOVED RATIO BACK TO MY MULTIMUSE OVER AT @inominati!

#DIANOETIKON (gr. διανοητικόν). Private and selective DR. VERITAS RATIO of Hoyo's Honkai: Star Rail. High enthusiasm, slow writing speed. Established in April 2024 and written by Min (30+, she/her). Not spoiler free. Duplicate friendly.

"Πάντες ἄνθρωποι τοῦ εἰδέναι ὀρέγονται φύσει. Ignorance is a malady that must be cured. Should your mind exhibit symptoms of dullness, feel free to give the doctor a call."

GALLERY | MEMES | HEADCANONS

BLOG ROLL: vidyadawn (Dan Heng) | inconcordia (Sunday) | delusionaid (Genshin Impact multimuse)

Required reading below the cut.

I. ABOUT ME. My name is Min, I'm over 30 years of age and I've been rping in various fandoms for over 15 years. I work during the week so replies are slow, but I'm online throughout the dayand available through DMs or discord (for mutuals only). I am not caught up with the latest update but I don't mind spoilers.

II. REQUIREMENTS. If you are interested in roleplaying with me, you must be at least 18 years of age, ideally over 21, even more idealier over 25. I make no exceptions for minors, regardless of thread content. I will gravitate towards H:SR canon muses, but I am open to OCs if the character appeals to me and crossovers if I can see a way to merge our worlds together.

III. WRITING. I prefer plotted threads and longer replies (on average I'll write 3-6 paragraphs), but I don't expect you to match length. What matters to me is the content of our posts and our ability to progress in the story we want to tell. I don't really do short convos anymore (unless it's dash crack) and I don't write unplotted starters because they often lead nowhere. If you have ideas for our muses, just message me and if you don't have ideas yet but would like to write, let's plot together :)

IV. MEMES. Best way to get something started with me is through memes. Any memes in my meme tag are available without time limit for all mutuals, so no need to ask first, just send in whatever tickles your fancy! Heads up: it might take me forever and three days to respond, but I will get there eventually. Feel free to reblog any meme posts directly from my blog, I don't mind that at all. Bonus: there's a high chance you'll get a meme reply from me 84 years after sending it, when you no longer remember it.

V. SHIPPING. I am very selective with shipping on this muse but I am not closed off to the idea in theory. I don't insta-ship and once I do have a ship (or maybe more than one) I'll probably cap. If I write multiple ships, they are automatically in separate verses unless discussed otherwise. Don't be afraid to ask if you're interested in shipping, the worst case scenario could be that it doesn't work out.

VI. SOCIAL POLITICS.I am against callout and cancel culture and do not engage in it. Callouts will not be reblogged - I curate my dashboard my own way and I have no interest in being dragged into other people's fights. I don't respect publicly hating on fictional ships, characters or portrayals. I will never harass anyone or shame them for the fictional things they choose to write, I simply avoid, blacklist or block what I don't want to see. I believe the RPC would be a better place if people tried to be more tolerant, respectful and kind to one another.

Rules are subject to change. Thank you for reading this far! :)

[happylittleneighborhood]

🌈hiya !! i’m billy/manny !🌈

🌈this is my puppet nonhuman/agere blog !!

🌈here i’m gonna talk about being a puppet, my memories, alterhuman stuffs, being a syskid and look for other puppets too !! i also reblog a lot of agere stuffs !!

🌈i’m a puppet in a few different ways (as and alter and also in an alterhuman way), but this blog is specifically for where i’m a hand and rod puppet from an educational children’s show !! it doesn’t exist here at all, but that’s okay ! :] (i use otherkin terms and tags for it but i think of it more as just nonhuman since being an alter it’s kinda confusing !! but i dunno !!)

🌈my main blog is @rainbowbilly​ !! i don’t really post on there much, but you can follow it if you want !

🌈please interact if you’re any kind of puppet !! alterhuman (otherkin, fictionkin, nonhuman, etc), introject/fictive, or just a general puppet etc !! whatever type, whatever way !! (but i’m especially looking for other children’s show puppets !!)

🌈i’m usually more active in general on my personal website, but i don’t post about alterhuman stuffs there ! (at least not much !) 

🌈this blog is sfw (obviously !) and safe for age regressors or other syskids too !! i’ll probably post some edutainment stuff !! :D i reblog/post agere stuff too, what can you expect !! i’m a syskid and a puppet from a children’s show ! it’s what i do !! but please don’t get scared away if you’re not an agere blog !! don’t be afraid to say hi !!

-

🌈there’s more info about me under the “keep reading” part !! i wanted to keep this part short so it doesn’t take up much !! :] my dni is there too, please give that a read !!

🌈 info about my memories ! 🌈

🌈a guide to my tags !🌈

🌈need me to tag some stuffs i post/reblog (a topic, media, etc) for you ? feel free to ask !! :]

🌈basic stuffs about me !!🌈

🌈you wanna learn about little old me ?? golly !! well, let's get things started !!

🌈names i go by !!: billy, manny, toony/toonie, most source names are also fine but maybe ask first if i didn't list in here !! :]

🌈they/them only please !! :]

🌈as an alter i'm 8-12 years old !! :] our body is 16, though !!

🌈in general, i consider myself a human/puppet !! mostly a puppet, though ! like a 2:8 ratio !! :]

🌈i'm a system host, syskid and a splitroject !! (that means i'm an introject with more than one source !!) ( my source list is here !) if you’re a sourcemate, feel free to say hi !! our system is autistic and physically disabled :] we also have some other stuffs but we like to keep most stuffs private !! 🌈(we think we’re mid support needs but we dunno because the people that help us are really in denial about us needing much help because of our parents denying it and also our school is just bad towards disabled people and we don’t wanna use a wrong label if we’re not so if anyone who’s mid support needs can talk to us about it that’d be really really helpful thanks !!! :])

🌈i might talk about our psychosis a little, probably not, but if i do it’ll always be tagged so you don’t have to see it if you have it blocked !

🌈i'm nonbinary, aroace and greyaethsetic !!

🌈i think 'cringe culture' is dumb !! you should get to have fun and like things that people think are 'cringe-worthy' and talk and act how you want !! as long as you don't support anything bad you should just be allowed to have fun !!

🌈i talk silly and funny !! i like being expressive and energetic !!! and the way i talk changes sometimes !! just ignore it i'm just having fun !! :]

🌈i have some f/os, but i mostly have fictional bffs !! :D

🌈special interests !!: my main source (rainbow billy: the curse of the leviathan), puppets, stitch head, rubberhose cartoons, rainbows, mlp, vintage dolls, raggedy ann and andy, clowns, monsters, lucid dreams and dreaming and cosmonious high !!

🌈please don't interact: 

-if you see me in any of my sources in a sexual or romantic way 

-basic stuffs like if you're homophobic or transphobic or racist etc but i mean, come on, why would you guys WANNA interact with me ? haha !!

-if you post gore or really scary thingys on your blog without any warnings at all...(don't do that !!)

-if you judge people's triggers for being "weird"

-you post nsfw, untagged gore or untagged discourse/politics (i know discourse/politics sounds silly next to the other two, but it’s the main thing that makes me hate social media so much !! so much fighting...i like to not see it, thanks !! :])

-you’re pr0ship/pr0fic/c0mship/ant!-anti (or any other terms). i don’t harass anyone but i don’t feel comfy interacting with you guys, sorry !!

-if you’re r4dqueer/tr4ns-id/tr4ns-x (you guys really really scare me please go away :[)

-if you’re anti non-sexual/sfw age regression (kinda obvious, but just in case !) or anti objectum/posic

[itsalltoobeautiful]

Your OC as the solar system

RULES: bold what applies - italicize sometimes - strike out never. Tag some friends to play along! Repost, don’t reblog !

SUN • egotistical • melted wax wings and fingers • stretching sunburnt skin • the most generous soul • blood in the fruit • halos • anger on fire • high vitality • thunderous laughter • is pride really a sin? • halogenic aura

MERCURY • expansion of the mind • silver-tongued • an everlasting wanderer • polyglot • high dexterity • handwritten letters • innately critical • en vogue • eyes in the trees • hidden libraries • there’s always room for improvement

VENUS • in love with strangers • iridescent waters • love potions for your mirror • selfless devotion • shattering crystal • seafoam upon sand • the golden ratio • drowning in your own passion • material value & high principles • luring • plush lips

EARTH • fresh springs • tree hugger • we can start again tomorrow • a blazing rainforest • respects survival of the fittest • nature’s adversity • lazy bones • constantly evolving • flowers sprouting from wounds • a granite altar • fossilized remains

MOON • illusory • silver shimmer off the ocean • secrets and gossip • cycles of reincarnation • a crybaby • physically ethereal • shared glances with a stranger • cat eyes • mistrusting their intuition • fear is a prison • ornate magic wands

MARS • healthy competition • attraction and repulsion • magma and rubies • a blade being forged • wrath wrath wrath • malefic • intense eye contact • cannon fodder & fireworks • blood floods • copper taste on your tongue

JUPITER • red robes and a suit of armor • beacon of stability • leader by birth • thunderbolts and lightning • guilty but can’t stop • secret rich kid • golden touch golden tears • innate optimist • failure isn’t an option • constantly reaching for more • unfinished symphonies

SATURN • traditional • overbearing energy • a sculptor of reality • this existence is a karmic one • has a heart it’s just.. way down deep • law, order & justice • avoid all necessary risk • the sound of shackles clanging • sisyphus’ struggle • grappling with the reality of time • self-governing

URANUS • psychedelic funk music • overflowing cups • a rebellion with skin • looking good in photo id • oblivious but caring • middle fingers in the air • double rainbows • icy diamond exterior • holographic • afraid of their own mediocrity • pearlescent smoke

NEPTUNE • an elegy for the lost • dissolving boundaries • white horses • the burden of mystical conditions • deceptive • escapism is their reality • a polarizing entity • artists soul • paranoia • searching for the unseen • a siren’s swan song

PLUTO • angel statues over graves • power • the cycle of necrosis • transformative • unfathomable depths • an ivory tower toppling over • screaming at the sky • violets and irises • eclipsed darkness • speaks with their shadow • sex, death, rebirth

tagged by: taken from @justmemethings !

tagging: @heartxshaped-bruises @wynterlanding @wvtchy @flwrschild @honeyhcarted @anunkindncss @ofyorkshire @hxneybees @gareththegreat @hangtenn @batfall and anyone else who would like to! 💕💕