#-likely to feel sadness than anger.
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anytime I'm like "Roo is actually kinda more like Randy than Leo is..." I remember no. I'm much more likely to see Roo aiming a gun (despite his sheer lack of knowledge in anything gun related) than Leo. Roo is more likely to vent his anger and go about things physically, because often words fail him where physical actions wouldn't (kinda like how Benson punches Randy in the stomach, emphasizing the importance of reacting to certain things instead of not reacting at all) and Leo is MUCH more likely to vent and go about things verbally, because of how he was raised with a very verbally aggressive parent, and because he has a much stronger and heard voice, so things he says are gonna have a lot more emphasis than Roo who is more soft spoken.
#[ Hiraeth ]#Hiraeth : Roo#Roo#Hiraeth : Leo#the passenger#Does this in a way imply what kinda of person Roo could be? Yes. absolutely. but hes not gonna be like that.#He IS physically aggressive. but he manages his emotions and this is very rarely apparent. especially since Roo is more-#-likely to feel sadness than anger.#Leo is more likely to get angry and explosive but he also tries to be quiet and “”small“” (as far as small goes with his build)-#-and i think that aligns much more with Randy. who is quiet and small and is probably more prone to be verbally aggressive#oh plus Roo and Benson have similar hinted to trauma so theres also that lmao#Leo and Randy both have controlling mothers... but in different ways. Leos mother is controlling because of just who she is and -#-what she wants and expects outta leo and bc of generational trauma/expectations :T#Randys mom is controlling because of his trauma so 🧍♂️#anyways. we love to see a crossover oc and character analysis over here on the youredreamingofroo blog#yapping
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Do you miss Mari? You seem extra sad when we bring her up. I’m sure she’ll come back though, and then you won’t have to be so sad! Right…?
S: She hasn't been gone too long, I haven't had time to start actually missing her. I guess I am lucky like that. I get to talk to her, unlike a certain someone who could be in my place-
S: I am being so mean right now. Why...
#OMORI#OMORI Stranger#OMORI Ask#Stranger#ID in alt#//showing off smth that i went by before he was back from hiatus - skewed emotion chart (depression)#//when they returned Stranger was in higher spirits because it's been a really successful few days. AND the enrichment laptop returned.#// Now we are slowly falling back into old habits. including depression messing with the emotions.#//Happiness will cause him to cryand act kinda sadder than normal#//Anger will make it seem like he's in higher spirits#// and in this case what would make him feel sad just kind of ticks him off
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I watched season 3 and rewatched season 1 and 2 of the umbrella academy and what I can gather is:
Five (season 1): Denial, anger
Five (season 2): Bargaining
Five (season 3): Depression, acceptance
#usually he's a colourful fruit salad of denial anger bargaining depression and more anger though#season 3 five just makes me especially sad though#like he was done#he could retire#have a nice road trip#figure himself out as a person for once#breathe a little#but nope#and he still explores all options until he finally gives up#cause he would rather die with his family all together rather than a sad lonely old man in a tube#or at the mercy of whatever reginald had in store for them#but even at the very end he still can't shake the instinct to protect his family#and beats allison to the last sigil in the floor and figures out the sigil in the first place#also jesus what was season 3 I feel like I had a fever dream lol#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua#im not saying he passed through these stages instead they just layered on top of each other like a sad gooey cake
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my favorite genre of saiki k fics is when theres like semi-slow burn of all his friends discovering more of his true self and theres a power reveal eventually, so now they know that their preconceived image of him was wrong and in actuality hes literally the strongest guy they know (or the strongest guy ever)
so they start having a NEW image of him in their head, and... sure its much more true than before, but now there are NEW misconceptions..
so of course, right when they start thinking of him as this heroic and powerful guy who takes all his problems in stride, then something happens or EVERYTHING happens and his persona comes crashing down and they see an even NEWER part of him.. one that they never imagined he couldve had with either the old OR the new images they had of him in their heads..
#the 'new side of him' varies because its just him showing a lot of emotion#since he usually doenst at all#so its just them seeing him break for the first time but it could be shown in anger OR sadness OR even happiness ??#like at the end of the volcano scene where he smiles at them for the first and theyre all shocked and feel like theyre seeing a new him#and then he ERASES THAT FROM EXISTENCE AND IT NEVER HAPPENED AND THEYVE STILL NEVER SEEN HIM SMILE#other than when hes eating...#anyway the last time i read one of these was around when i first started having a presence in this fandom so uh#i dont actually have any recs and cant find them LOL i'll have to start looking again#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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I really need to be cleaning my room but. fanfiction I'd write if I had time but I Do Not
There are several ghiralink fic storylines that are along the lines of "Link gets exactly what he thinks he wants and turns out it isn't really what he needs" (whether real or a dream-state) that have him taking Ghirahim's sword and gaining complete control over him and the themes are of personhood and power and complacency. be careful what you wish for type things. A few that are Ghirahim killing Link/Link losing and realizing he would rather have him alive and fighting instead of dead/given up because it was more fun than way, but usually end up being sad. oh well I guess for the former and teaming up with Link to defeat Demise for the latter.
What I want to write is the themes of scenario 1 but role reversed so it's like scenario 2 with Ghirahim having the "this isn't what I wanted" moment. Ghiralink adds, usually as a joke, a level of "if I can't kill you, maybe you could join me ;)" and I want to write more or less Link doing that, Link being a perfect subservient extension that does everything he wants him to and he doesn't regret it (he can't), but Ghirahim having the realization that he doesn't want someone who is nothing more than an object for him to use. A doll. A sword.
And then, how Link has guilt over Fi and the Master Sword and his role as hero and how Hylia controls him but he's no better than her, Ghirahim realizing Link is now what he is to Demise and rethinking his own position. Is this what Demise thinks of me. Is that why he treats me the way he does. And he takes his anger out on Link but Link can't fight back anymore. Link doesn't want to fight back anymore, and not in a depressed it's hopeless kind of way, but in the same way Ghirahim accepted Demise pulling the sword out of his chest.
When Ghirahim is empty and goes isn't this what you wanted, Link can genuinely say no because he has a hero's heart and conscience and never meant for anyone to get hurt. When Link goes I am what you made me, Ghirahim has to face that fact that yes, he is, and he is made in my image, and I do not want this anymore.
#ghiralink#ghirahim#I want skyward sword bad ends but I want them completely different from what is already out there#I want the dark ending from Ghirahim's POV where he got what he wanted and everything is perfect and Link isn't ever an issue anymore#and like honestly. I don't want it to be a sex thing. like yeah that could be part of it but I don't think it would work as well#how I wanted the sword spirit au to go but did not manage to make it work this way 😔#I want Demise to win and Link to live and Ghirahim to know he does but not see him for a few weeks/months. to not even think about him#or feel any guilt that he's probably rotting away in a dungeon or getting tortured or whatever. no even excited about that just apathetic#and entirely focused on Demise (who is in turn pretty apathetic about him but he doesn't even realize) until one day he sees Link and he's#*not* a prisoner. he's just another solider in a demon army or a regular servant or maybe even a bodyguard to Demise. and he speaks with him#and there's no trace of animosity or anger or sadness or anything. there is no war in ba sing se etc.#and then I don't have anymore than that it's just kind of wouldn't that be fucked up huh#for Ghirahim to have absolutely no underlying thoughts of demise actually sucks or foreshadowing he's not the perfect blade he presents as#and all of that to snap when he sees an enemy completely changed. he wanted Link dead. even when he says you could join me#he would expect push back and fights and relapsing into wanting to be the hero. he never considered what if he wasn't an enemy at all
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the only thing I'm grateful to Only Friends about at this stage is introducing me to Force and Book ~~
I will finish it because I want to support them but the glossing over the trauma and not allowing the growth of their characters has actually made me so sad??
Manifesting an excellent series that they're the main couple in next year, they deserve better. I kind of don't rlly understand the hate on them tho? Lots of actors have shitty series & characters (which I don't think is the case with them) and they're still liked? make it make sense plez
#Like some other actor pairs I wasn't impressed with#Even prior to finding ForceBook#but they're loved not hated so#srsly is it because they're older than other actors?#i want to fix the unfairness#it is like watching what happens to talented ppl daily??#bc they're not talented in the “right” way whatever that is#like talent is subjective anyway?#i often find other characters in ofs to be overreacted#like having set reactions to certain situations#very method acting i guess#but forcebook i don't feel like engage in that as much#not so much method which is not a bad thing at all imo#i haven't been able to take my eyes off of Mew the entire show#because i can see there's a lot more going on#Top too#But the others i kinda got it after a while ik what to expect#they're all v talent#but ik from singing that it's harder to play emotions that aren't sadness & anger#they're sooo much easier to hide behind and tend to look impressive#that's what i feel like is happening here#this feels personal ahhaha
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I wanted to make her pointier ig
for me she's a hero without a cape or the babygirl that people talk about
#tumblr drawings of her are so AUWSHUWUS I wanna eat them cuz the poses are so cute and nervous and ANXIOUS#I CAN FEEL HER VIBE THERE SO GIRLFAILURE WHO MUST BE HUGGED#do u guys think shes a orange lesbien?#I think she's bi cuz there's nothing more anxious than a bi girl with long pants (and a bi boy with short pants but we talk abt it later#for me shes like “ok I'm attracted to this gender and I know exactly what can go wrong!! WAIT. MY CHANCES OF BEING REJECTED HAVE DOUBLED 😭”#and she's also that “g-girls pretty” meme#I'm not even THAT obsessed with her like I prefer ennui and sadness and anger but anxiety has her charm#she's not ugly she's just weird and that's beautiful#inside out anxiety#inside out#inside out 2#inside out fandom#anxiety#THE BIGGEST EYES KNOWN
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two hrs until arle animated trailer save me
#WHO IS THAT GIRL#ramblings!#if she turns out to be a normal human and actually arles sad over her death and its just oh no sob story backstory#then i will not know how to feel#tbh that's also kind of scara's backstory and his ends in anger and fire so maybe there's hope#i also NEED someone else other than ashi.kai to start making arle theories god. i dont want to keep watching and not liking her vids#also besides all of this i know everyone's like boohoo other x.iao ships are suffering but i just find it extremely funny that x/traveler i#becoming ''''more'''''' canon by the day. his birthday mail this year is so egregious#waiting patiently for my dream solvent bc apep is giving me Shit Drops for neuv#also the desc for dream solvents is like. dreams used to have material form. if u wake up clutching a flower after dreaming of heaven#the flower was made from the dream. and then x fucking sends us a dream solvent?#my guy. what are you trying to say.#anyways. highly entertaining i think it's fun. will not stop me from shipping other ships but this casual slowburn is fun
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#character introspection.#ahh... something about this is so accurate NGL like sadly barton will always have this-#immense anger in him i feel like no matter what he does to try to contain it / surpress it and this is-#because it has literally become a part of who he is as a person. ans by that i mean he ALWAYS has a sense-#of rage stirring within him that is just waiting to be unleashed and that is both kind of disheartening as well as scary#including for him. but barton is also used to it so it's like... he's grown a bit desensitized to it at the same time#even though that's arguably pretty sad to think about. barton is just not good at processing his emotions in healthy-#ways so his sadness is commonly turned into anger and the rare occasions where he does feel guilt / shame?#they also come off as anger because it is a much easier emotion for barton to process than sadness#so yeahhh. man's has definitely got some issues that he needs to work out regarding how you don't need to be-#afraid of getting sad especially if you have a good support system to help you through it... but he just JSJSJ refuses to-#show those kinds of feelings around people for a prolonged amount of time bc he doesn't trust that people won't use it-#to try to 'take advantage of him' so to speak since barton himself has cheered people up for that sole purpose before. thus it's all like-#one big vicious cycle y'know bc he fears the very thing that he practices.
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#I'm so tired but i can't sleep#there's no sleep anymore#no relaxing#im either completely empty#or im crying#from anger or sadness#or both#every blue Ford i see#i think it's him for a spilt second#when my phone rings i hope it's going to be him#when i do sleep i dream about him#i didn't know missing someone could feel like this#it's missing but worse than that#like a hole in the center of my chest#and nothing makes it better#sometimes i can just ignore it for a while#he should be here#i will never understand why it was him#someone so good and loving and sweet#who was intentionally kind to strangers#who held me every time i needed him#i hate this universe#i really really do#i want to wake up in another universe#one where he never got in that truck#where he called into work that day#so that i can call him and tell him all the things i already have to tell him#i fucking miss you kid#it's actually killing me
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ppl going “no nominations for greta and margot but one for ryan they missed the point of the movie!!!!” when the movie in question gave ryan’s character a ton of screentime memorable jokes an entire musical number and a complete arc…so funny to act like the ken stuff accidentally got in the movie when GRETA PUT IT THERE!!! also not to nitpick but greta and margot DID get nominated for writing and producing which they were both campaigning for! also also sorry but im not replacing anyone in best director w greta (even though i think she did a good job) bc they were all incredible! also also also THAT’S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR okay im done
#barbie took kotfm’s screenplay spot methinks….not sure how i feel about that…:#and im a barbie enjoyer ftr i just do not enjoy this discourse#barbie monologue accurate and mid. america underdeveloped character but actress i like a lot. im just ken very funny but other songs better#and there were other lead actresses who deserved a spot more than the two sneaks AND margot…..#let’s refocus our anger at misogyny over no charles melton nom. that doesn’t make sense im just sad.#oscars#barbie#greta gerwig#margot robbie#notes
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i wish i could just sleep forverr or maybe just be able to rot in bed every day every hour but i cant and it makes me so sad
#vent#vent in tags#<- yah#im just so#im so miserable#all i do is think about suicide and sleep#its all i really wanna do anyways#i get out of bed. i brush my teeth. i drink water. i eat if i feel i deserve it (i dont). i pace i walk. i feed my dog i let her out.#and what else#nothing interests me anymore but then again thats like. thats been the norm for awhile i guess#i make myself do the things i love because i hope it'll make me happy but it just#it doesnt#it distracts me#just for a little while#but once i stop i immediately go back to nothing.#when i was younger i never understood when therapists asked if i felt 'empty' i thought it was silly but now#that's the only way i can describe it#if im not miserable and suicidal i'm just nothing#the only thing i can really feel anymore besides misery is guilt that fades faster than it comes and anger#if im lucky i'll get a taste of adrenaline but#kicks rock#is it too much to ask to just feel something other than#yeah#just for a moment#thats all i want#im so sad#i dont want to get better anymore but i do but wouldn't it be so much easier to rot?#i'll die before 20 either way so what does it matter
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Why why why why why why why why why .. why me?
#stfu.001#tw repetition#I really want to kms#I can’t be here anymore I really can’t#I’m not sad anymore#I’m just filled with anger#how could they do this to me?#how dare they cause me to be like this?#and they don’t even feel bad?#but when I do it I’m the perpetrator and I have the cops Called on me..#if I wasn’t in the right mind I’d go in there and hit the bitch#cause my mum deserves to go what I went through#I need to beat her until she is crying and black and blue. until she throws up and until she screams#just like what she did to me for years#she deserves everything coming to her#I Hope her lupus kills her earlier than I thought#god I hate my mom and my dad and my family and just#sigh idk anymore
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does anyone else ever feel like they have to exaggerate every emotion they have in order to seem like a functioning human being? Like I gotta use dramatic hand signs and dramatic expressions and everything even though I only feel like 15% of the actual emotion.
#Except for usually anger#I feel that intensely most of the time#But whenever someone says something that should excite me I kinda feel like a twist inside me#Like “yay… time to gear up my acting skills again”#It’s horrible when someone I know dies and I don’t have the emotions I should be expressing#It makes me feel like such an emotionless freak#Like one time my friend committed suicide and I could barely think of anything#A lingering bit of sadness but the news just froze me for a few periods and I struggled to focus for a few periods#But I just couldn’t understand why I did t react more for someone I was actually pretty close to#I still feel a bit of a trust when I think of them but then everyone at school seemed to forget her anyways#But yeah#other than the usual empty sadness and fiery anger#it’s hard to feel sometimes#mentally tired#mental illness#mental health#feeling empty#feeling nothing
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...
#spiteful angry a little happy and proud judgemental upset sad mourning#the list can go on#its been a day#my thoughts#mom went to detox today and will be in recovery for a month#i already feel lighter with her gone#but conflicted because i wasn't there for her#but i couldn't be because she wouldn't let me#and genuinely i didnt want to be because she was simultaneously never there for me#but shes done more for me than i ever could've asked in some ways#but i also never asked to be born wish i was never born and feel like ive never belonged here#like i was meant to be aborted but was born instead#and yet despite it all I'm angry at the world for the cards she was dealt#for the way she was treated as a child#and the way no one was there for her and moved on pretending like all was fine#(some generational trauma she picked up and carried over)#upset at her siblings and friends for never being there for her like she needed (but i also understand that she pushed everyone away and im#In the same boat as them in that sense#but also shes my mother and im her child and shes never been there's for me so how could i possibly know how to be there for her#i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier#so much easier#ignorance is bliss frfr#part of me is also proud of her for finally doing this#scared that she might get mistreated at the facility furthering her trauma scared of her relapsing and what that will look like#wanting to be a support fixture for her when she comes back at the end of the month but realistically knowing i cant#spiteful because where is her support system right now? everyone has failed her#spent years enabling and ignoring her#i hope she has a support system or can curate one because it cant be me#it just cant#mother wound
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