#-events lead to you living your happiest life are they really a good mom dad

[unma]

Ough... my queue... all Orologia... I love momdad too much.

[fancywasmyname1]

Harden My Heart (1) Part One

Warning: Language

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED, LET ME KNOW! 

“We’re doing this for your best interest, Caroline.”

I stared at the piece of paper, pulling at the edges. “It’s not only the best thing for you but it’s also going to help our family out as well.”

I stayed silent as I listened to my mother try to plead her and my father’s case. I thought I was coming home for a nice family dinner, but I was instead dropped in the lion’s den, preparing to be ripped to shreds. “He’s a good boy, Caroline.” My father spoke. “He’s going to take very good care of you, better than any other man can.”

“I’d rather slit my wrist and bleed out on the street than go with that man.” I muttered, earning looks of disapproval from my parents.

“Don’t say things like that, Caroline.” I looked up at my mom.

I wanted so badly to tell her off but I knew that she and my dad were under enough stress. They didn’t need me mouthing off to them, even though it would make me feel a little better.

“Now-“ She spoke as she stood up from the couch across from me. “Reggie will be here any minute and you’re still dressed like a slouch.” I looked down at my baggy shirt and gym shorts. “You need to go upstairs, shower, and make yourself look presentable.”

“Presentable?” I questioned.

She let out a huff, her nerves hanging on by a string. “Presentable, Caroline-” Her voice filled with annoyance. “Like every blushing bride-to-be should look.” _________________________________________________

“I’m gonna throw up.”

I stared at myself in the mirror, the Ivory gown staring back at me.

“Just take a couple deep breaths, Caroline.” My eyes drifted to my mom’s reflection, her purple dress hugging her small feature. “It’s just nerves.”

Just nerves.

I had been hearing that phrase for the past two weeks. Meeting a man that I was to marry in less than a week… Just nerves. Planning a wedding for over 300 guest… Just nerves. The day finally being here and my life being signed away forever to a man I don’t even know… Just nerves.  

Today was the day that I had been dreading since my parents dropped the nuptial bomb. When you’re a little girl, you dream of your wedding day. You dream of the beautiful dress, the fancy reception, and the man of your dreams standing at the alter waiting for you. You basically have it all planned by the age of 10, but fate has a funny way of fucking it all up. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would be in the situation I’m in now. I never imagined that I would be standing here, wearing a beautiful wedding dress, waiting to walk down the aisle to a man that I didn’t know or even love for that matter. I would be sharing the biggest and supposedly happiest day of my life with a room full of strangers and maybe a dozen of my own family and friends. When I pictured myself getting married, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to be in love.

“Reggie is gonna die when he sees you, sweetheart.”

Reggie Kray.

There’s not much to say about Reginald Kray, seeing as I barely know the guy. The few times that I had any interaction with him, he seemed cold and uptight. Almost like a stick was shoved up his ass and he had no way of getting it out. He didn’t talk much, which was okay by me. From what I heard from my parents, Reggie was a twin but never spoke of his sibling. It was all a big mystery when it came to Reggie Kray. He walked around with an entourage of guys, all dressed in suits, black suits. There was always one main guy with him at all times, almost like he was afraid to be by himself. The guy was just as uptight and cold as Reggie. He never spoke the couple times that I was around him. He just stood there like he was a fixture of the house. Was it going to be like this when Reggie and I were finally married? Am I getting a two-for-one kind of deal?

“Five minutes before show time!”

I snapped out of my thoughts as the wedding planner barged through the door. I watched as the stylist placed her finishing touches on my mom’s hair, giving her a smile in the mirror. Everyone in the room buzzed around, fixing stray hairs, touching up makeup, and grabbing anything they needed.

“Is the bride ready?”

I stayed silent, watching as everyone scattered around me. I felt like my world was closing in on me. My chest felt tight. My throat felt like it was closing. I wanted to rip this fucking dress off my body and throw myself in the nearest river. I wanted to be anywhere but here!

“She’s rea-“

“Why me?” I cut my mom off. “Why do I have to do this? Why do I have to marry a man I don’t even fucking know?!” I yelled out, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “There’s a million girls out there that he could have picked. What’s so fucking special about me?”

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I could see pity in some of their eyes, while others looked at me like I was insane. If they were in my shoes, they would be freaking out too. “Caroline-“ My mom barked. “You need to calm down!”

“No!” I started tugging at my dress. “I want to know why he fucking picked me?!”

The wedding planner began ushering everyone out of the room, leaving my mom and I alone.

“I’m taking this dress off-“ I reached my hands behind my back, searching for the zipper. “I’m leaving.”

My mom suddenly turned into the Flash, swatting my hands away from the back of the dress. “You need to get your shit together, Caroline Taylor!” She seethed. “You have a church full of people waiting for you and you’re throwing a fucking hissy-fit. Do you know how ridiculous you are sounding right now? You know how many girls would kill to be in the spot you’re in right now?” 
I stayed silent.

“You wanna know why Reggie Kray picked you?” She spoke. “You need to ask him yourself. You need to speak to that boy like he’s your husband. He’s the one that came to your father and I. He sought you out himself and your father and I agreed that he would be the best match for you.”

“You don’t even know him, mo-“

“You don’t know him either, Caroline!” She pressed. “You’re not even giving him the time of day. You need to get to know him because you’re gonna be with him for a very long time.”

“I can get it annulled or filed for divorce.”

My mom glared at me, “No daughter of mine is gonna get a divorce.” Her voice was serious and low. “You’re going to learn to love that boy, you hear me?”

Before I could answer, the wedding planner popped back in, telling us that it was time to start. I felt like my life was failing. At that moment, I knew that I couldn’t back out. There was no way my mom would let me leave this church without Reggie beside me and the name Kray behind Caroline…

The Bridal Chorus was a song that caused butterflies to erupt in everyone’s stomach. It meant that the event was finally happening and the bride would be ushered down the aisle to her awaiting groom. It was a happy moment for everyone, everyone except me.

As my dad and I started making our way down the pathway, I looked around at all the guest in attendance. I didn’t recognize half the people there, and those I did know, looked at me with so much hope and happiness. I wonder if they could see emptiness and sadness when I looked at them? I took a glance ahead at the alter where Reggie was standing. His three-piece suit hugged his body like a glove, his hair slicked back perfectly. He looked very handsome. As we grew closer, I my eyes connected with his. Heat flooded my core as his eyes burned into my skin, his eyes examining my front top to bottom.

“Who gives this woman to this man?”

The music stopped as the priest’s voice rang throughout the venue.

I felt my dad’s arm tighten around mine, “Her mother and I do.” He spoke proudly.

The priest nodded his head, giving him a small smile. I turned toward my dad, his hands reaching for my lace veil. I wanted to burst into tears as I locked eyes with him. He gave me a reassuring smile as he lifted the veil away from my face, placing a kiss on my cheek.  
 “I love you.” He whispered.

I remained silent as he pulled away, reaching for my right hand, leading me towards Reggie.

“Take good care of her, son.” My dad spoke as he placed my hand into Reggie’s left. Reggie simply nodded his head before turning back toward the priest, pulling me with him as he ascending back up the small staircase.

His grip on my hand felt firm but not too tight. It almost felt comforting. Once we were in front of the priest, he ran his thumb over my skin in a reassuring manner, before softly releasing my hand. My hand felt like it was on fire, a good kind of fire.

“We are gathered here today to join this holy union between Reginald Kray and Caroline Taylor.”

I started to block out what the priest was saying after that first line. Here I was, standing in front a church full of people, marrying a man I’ve only known for two weeks. I didn’t know his favorite color, sports teams, what he liked, disliked. I just noticed that his eyes are green! I didn’t know what he did for a living, if he had a college degree. I’m not even sure how old he is but yet here I was. If I really wanted to, I could have left. I would have pushed past my mom, told everyone to kiss my ass, and got the fuck out of Dodge. That’s what I would have done if I wanted to leave. That little fighting spirit was still inside me, telling me to kick off the heels and run out of the church but I stayed. I can’t tell you why I stayed but here I was.

“Reggie, Caroline-”The priest spoke. “Please face each other for the reading of the vowels and ring exchange.”

We were soon facing, able to take each other in fully. He was a lot taller than I remembered. Frankly, he was even more attractive close up. The features that I should have noticed the first day I met him were in the spotlight as stared up at him. His chiseled jaw looked like it was carved by Michelangelo himself. His lips were full and the perfect shade of pink. His eyes were green, with little hints of blue and brown floating around. He was fucking perfect.

“Reggie, please repeat after me.” The priest began. “I, Reginald Kray, take thee Caroline Taylor, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“I, Reginald Kray, take thee Caroline Taylor, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” His English accent floating through the air like a warm breeze.

“To have and to hold, through sickness and through health, for richer and for poorer, until death do us part.”

“To have and to hold, through sickness and through health, for richer and for poorer, till death do us part-“ He slipped the diamond wedding sent on my left ring finger. “I promise to always protect you no matter what.” He spoke the last part, his eyes boring into mine.

My heart fluttered as I took in the extra vow he threw in. By the audience’s reaction, I wasn’t the only one who was shocked.

“Caroline, please repeat after me.” My eyes stayed connected with Reggie’s as the priest started speaking.

“I, Caroline Taylor, take thee Reginald Kray, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

“I-“ I stopped short.

Every thought that I had about this wedding came crashing down on me once again. I was a couple words away from being married. A few little words separated me from a life of unknowns.

“I, Caroline Taylor, take thee Reginald Kray, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

It was as if a sense of relief not only flooded through the priest, but Reggie and the entire church.

“To have and to hold, through sickness and through health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.”

“To have and to hold, through sickness and through health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.” I placed the silver band on his finger, his finger wrapping around mine once the ring was placed.

“I now have the pleasure of pronouncing you man and wife, Reggie, you may now kiss your gorgeous bride.”

I watched as he started leaning forward as I felt myself leaning back. Before I could get far enough away, his arm stretched behind my waist, bringing me flush against his hard body. In that moment, we were in our own world. He was looking at me and I was looking at him. Without further hesitation, he crashed his lips onto mine.  Shock was the first thing I felt but as the kiss deepened, pleasure and want replaced the feeling.

“Get a room, you two!”

Reggie was the first to break away, leaving me wanting more. When I finally came back to earth and realized that we were still in front of my parents, his parents, and especially the priest, embarrassment coursed through me. I just had a fucking make-out session in front of a priest, my parents, strangers, and God.

Reggie Kray was already turning me into a completely different person...

[skyblue-ringpops]

Hello -are you new here? Welcome if you are!

So your Deep Dive into Blaine Anderson is quite a lot to think about. It’s really mostly your head canon and not actually what happens in the show? Not canon?

When first introduced he becomes Kurt’s friend, who he has a crush on. He was subsequently called a mentor to him, but that’s not how we first see him. He’s just another teenager at this point, who Kurt falls in love with.

Most people don’t actually call Blaine whiny and clingy - only a small proportion of the fandom for a variety of reasons. Just like every character had their flaws and their critics. Most people like Blaine.

Blaine was a confident happy pupil at Dalton, and I don’t think he was putting on an act. But of course, there are other sides to him that we don’t see initially.

Yes, Blaine was assaulted at a Sadie Hawkins dance. Yes, he suggests on at least one occasion that he doesn’t have a good relationship with his dad. We don’t know for certain anything about Blaine’s relationship with his parents. But he does still mention them throughout the five seasons, indicating he lives with them, and that they were upset after Shooting Star.

Blaine attended prom with Kurt in season 2: it was hard for both of them, but they stood up to the bullies together. He also attended prom in season 3. So by Sadie Hawkins in 4, he rejects Tina’s proposal because he has a crush on Sam, not because of any apparent continued fear of school dances. Likewise, in Tina in the Sky with Diamonds, he’s happy to be there - he seems to have fact moved on from the assault trauma.

Do you think he had a close relationship with the Warblers? They were friends in 2, in fact they all looked up to him as charismatic lead singer who made the song choices. But they betrayed him in 3; in 4 Hunter and Sebastian tried to get him back to Dalton to secure a win at nationals, and then there was the drug issue. I’m inclined to think they were using him, and not genuine friends or family. He made his genuine friends, apart from Kurt, in season 4 at Mck.

Yes he was happy at Dalton, or so it seems. He wasn’t present when it burned down - he came back from his honeymoon to discover it had been burnt down. Yes he was upset, but bounced back quickly as the Warblers became part of the ND. A plot line really to insureBlaine had nothing to stay in Lima for, and could return to NY with Kurt. I don’t feel he was traumatised by it.

The wedding of course was Britannia’s wedding, and they had managed to get Blaine’s mum there, which was a nice touch. So the absence of dad and Cooper is not particularly shocking. And yes, there is part of deleted plot that the parents had divorced but a lot of plots were changed over the course of the show, so nothing can be gained from this.

I don’t agree Blaine raised himself. He dresses beautifully, he is beautifully mannered and follows etiquette. There must have been someone around to teach him these things. He never says his parents are not there, yes we don’t see them, and we can head canon a distant relationship, but it’s not certain. He calls his mum after SS, he is obviously close to her. He mentions them in Feud, and in Loser like Me. He has a sibling rivalry with Cooper - we don’t know how badly that affected Blaine: but Cooper does seem to care for him and be proud of him.

There’s no indication mum had a drink problem - yes she’s drunk at the wedding. Mmmm a lot of people get drunk at weddings. Santana and Quinn got drunk in I do - does that mean they have a drink problem? Blaine certainly doesn’t have a drink problem. In fact, he doesn’t drink a lot - we see him drunk on two occasions. We see several of the ND also drunk on occasions, but they don’t have a drink problem. In the scene with Dave, he appears to have a coke in front of him, and likely he drove. He said himself he went to the bar because he was lonely, and that’s probably the only place in Lima he would actually meet other gay people . By this stage, he was in therapy, had a job and was moving on: no suggestion he’s hanging round a bar because he’s depressed.

His relationship with Karofsky. Yes many in fandom hate it. I don’t love it. But let’s remember: they do seem to have a warm relationship, Blaine speaks fondly of him, there’s the gentle cheek kiss and eye contact when they split, which speaks volumes. Blaine looks happy to be with him. He tells him he admires him. Blaine is getting on with his life - as far as he’s concerned Kurt is in NY, they may not see each other again for a very long time. Blaine didn’t date Dave out of spite - Dave was there when he needed company, Dave had suffered himself - he was a good support to Blaine when he needed it. Why would he date him for pain and abuse, or punishment. He was in therapy, he was getting better and he was genuinely happy. Why would he feel guilty about the split - it was Kurt who called it off.

Blaine is one if the happiest, most likeable characters . He is loved by his friends and teachers - he is talented, high achieving, ambitious and kind. He’s generous, he cares for his friends, he will do anything to help his friends. He is great fun to be with. Yes, he’s insecure and suffers from loneliness which means he makes rash decisions. He’s not extremely depressed, he has periods when he is down - don’t we all?? He’s not suffering , depressed, sad individual but the opposite most of the time - fondly regarded as a ray of sunshine. If I was having a bad day, I’d want Blaine as my friend to cheer me up.

He’s not suicidal - I can’t see what you are saying re On my way - he isn’t in camera shot most of the time . He’s not rubbing his wrists or looking sad, he confidently states he wants marriage equality in 50 states - another thing that’s very important to him. Because he wants to marry. And he wants to marry Kurt. Cough Syrup is an excellent solo - at the time he sings it , no one is aware about Dave. Blaine had his own stresses that day - mostly to do with Sebastian. Kurt is the one who has been lonely, depressed and suicidal. Not Blaine.

He doesn’t have an eating disorder - we see one episode where he overeats because he is a new city. Then he feels bad because he’s put on the weight, and pulls away physically from Kurt. He’s not got an eating disorder. He enjoys sport - we see him at gym, boxing, aerobics and he dances a lot with friends.

Also, you make a big jump to assume he’s been sexually abused or assaulted. In fact, there is no indication of this at all. If that’s your head canon, that’s fine, but there’s nothing in canon that says this. Or nothing in his behaviour that says this. Plus I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick regarding Tina, and his reaction to the vapo rape and Sam teasing Tina. Watch it again, Blaine isn’t upset.

There’s a lot I could go into about his relationship with Kurt but it’s already a long ask. Please feel free to chat to me about any of these!!! I note you think Blaine and Puck would be a good friendship, but that’s a chat for another day!!!

Look forward to a pleasant discussion with you!!

I'm fairly new to the Glee fandom, it'll be one year in the summer (I think August?)

It's a mix of canon and headcanons that are heavily supported by canon, I tried to specify what is what.

Most of the people I've seen that don't like Blaine or only like him in season 2 say he's whiny and clingy, and I'm happy to see that not a lot of people on Tumblr say that. More people do on Instagram, which is where I see most of the hate directed at him (he's still very popular there though!)

I've seen a lot of people say that he's mostly himself in the later seasons, it may not have been a mask at Dalton and could have been a personality change maybe impacted by the environment/who he surrounded himself with. In a deleted scene it says that his mom (maybe both parents? I just remember his mom specifically) isn't home much because of work - but I usually think that she's home late at night and on most weekends (nothing to support it, just what I think)

For the school dances, that is pretty likely, but the Sadie Hawkins specifically could have also brought certain memories back. I won't go into detail but I also have a bad experience related with a certain type of event, similar events don't bring back memories but that one specifically does, it does depend on the person though.

I think it depends on the person if he had a close relationship with them. Trent, for example, yes, but this is supported the most by canon. I also believe he was close with Nick and Jeff, but that's not as supported, and looked up to David, Wes, and Thad. But I don't really see them spending much time with him.

I don't think Blaine did have a drinking problem, I tried to specify that in the analysis but I think I wasn't clear because you're the second person to ask about that, just that he may have picked up the coping mechanism when he was in a bad place but to a lesser extent. The reason I think his mom may be is because (again, deleted shot) there was a shot in which Puck was holding her up and nobody seemed to be in a similar state, Quinn and Santana in I Do weren't as drunk as Pam appeared to be in that shot. But again, since it was deleted, I'm not entirely sure if it counts (I literally forgot it was a deleted shot until I rewatched the episode which is why I didn't point that out.) I do think Blaine and Dave got closer throughout their relationship because it did seem healthy, I don't think Dave was ever abusive because he changed a lot from the beginning of the series. It could have been something Blaine expected knowing his past. During the breakup, Blaine asks if it was something he did, which would be a reason why he'd blame himself. And I also don't think Blaine dated him out of spite, that's very out of character for him. But I've seen a lot of people say they think he might have it that don't like him because he dated Dave. Since writing the analysis (it's been a few months) I actually changed my opinion on Blainofsky, I still don't love it but I don't really hate it either.

In On My Way, he does rub his wrists, but it is kind of hard to see. You have to be watching him closely, and I don't think I would have noticed had it not been pointed out to me. I really think he needed more backstory and more of a look at his mental health - while he does seem happy most of the time, he does have signs of mental illness in his darker times, so it could just be how he feels in that moment, or he could be covering up feelings of depression or anxiety when he seems happier. And Kurt was definitely depressed and suicidal - I meant to write something on him as well but never got to it...

The eating disorder thing has been pointed out by a few other people as well, and a lot of people say it could be just stress eating, or it could be disordered eating which could potentially become an eating disorder had Kurt not intervened. There are warning signs that he could have potentially developed one - most notably a desire for control, which is a very common cause.

I wasn't even going to discuss sexual assault at first, I never considered it. The only reason it was brought up was because of the article I linked in the analysis and every point I made was from there.

And the mention of Tina and the vapo-rape thing, again, you're not the first to mention it so I'm probably wrong about it and I'll admit that. I had it pointed out that he was upset by one person and I haven't seen the episode in a while.

I'll probably look more into the character and update the analysis because lately a lot of people have been asking about it (honestly idk why it's suddenly popular since I did it a while ago but- I'm not complaining!)

Thank you for the ask, I hope I kinda cleared things up... And I appreciate the criticisms and your input!! If you wanna keep talking about this or anything else, feel free to send another ask or DM me :)

[allonsy-yesiwill]

Tis The Season: A Family Divided

WC: 2900 ish

Pairing:  Dean x Y/N

Warnings: a little bit of angst (read is an orphan but it didn’t happen till she was an adult and hit of crap parents) torwards the end but mostly just fluffy goodness

A/N: I tend to treat the English language like a garbage bin, in public I pronounce gym phonetically cause it makes people mad, and me smile. So please if you are an English teacher just pass on all of this... cause my tenses are timey whimy to say the least. That being said if you want to Beta, let me know I could use all the help I can get... hmmm, I guess that’s just a general statement about my life really..lol.  

Get caught up here 

The next morning Y/N woke up and packed everything up, she just had a bad feeling about the day and she couldn’t bear to ruin the holiday for the rest of Dean’s family. 

“Good morning cheer, you ready for the big Christmas eve brunch,” Benny hollers from the other side of the door. 

Y/N opens it with a sigh, “Please Benny, brunch happens at 11, this is breakfast. It’s still 9 am.” She laughed a bit, “Hey Benny if I ask you to do me a favor and not tell Dean could you do that?”

“Well it depends but probably,” he smiled.

“I don’t think today is going to go well and I don’t want to destroy the actual holiday for them, and by them I mean Mary, Jess, Sam and Dean. John can go fuck himself. I packed my bags, can you just put them in the car just in case?”

“Yes but I don’t like this, I know Dean’s not the best at standing up against his dad but he’s trying.” 

“I get it and I see it. I don’t love him any less for it. It’s just not going to change. I know I had a similar relationship with my parents. And to be honest with you I don’t even think this is about Dean anymore. It’s about my own unchecked baggage with my parents,” Y/N let out with a sigh. 

“Okay cheer, but please promise me you won’t leave the state without him. It would break him.” 

“Agreed.” 

As Y/N walked into the kitchen Dean stood up and pulled out the chair next to him. Y/N looked around the table and noticed that John was missing as Dean pushed in her chair giving her a kiss on the cheek. “How did you sleep babe,” Dean asked. “Well I am pretty sure it was more of a passing out thing after all of the whiskey,” Y/N said softly noticing that the family in the room was looking at them smiling.

“Well if you need a hangover cure, I make whip you up something that will make you feel better,” Sam laughed, “I’ve done it for Dean more than once.” 

“I am not listening,” Mary smiled. 

“No Sam I am good, some fresh fruit and some OJ should do the job. Do we have a nap time scheduled today? I will probably need one of those as well,” Y/N smiled. She couldn’t believe how welcome she felt, no judgement about her words last night. She was sure the family would take John’s side. 

“We can probably arrange for that sweetheart, right mom,” Dean said, giving her hand a squeeze. 

John joined them after about 20 minutes later, stateing that he just finished a business call and wanting to know the days plans where. John did not say a word to Y/N. Didn’t look at her, didn’t acknowledge her presents. He did however make comments on the events happening, stating that they were family only. 

“Well if you excuse me, I will let you get back to your family planing,” Y/N said standing up. 

“What’s wrong Y/N, the hangover got you feeling less than humans,” John asked with a laugh, “Ladies don't drink like you did last night.” 

“No sir, I feel fine however I know when I am not welcome and I don’t want to make thing more uncomfortable for the rest of the family. As far as the lady comment, well I don’t really want to be a door mat for men to wipe their shit on. Thank you for the hospitality and breakfast,”  Y/N got up and walked out of the room. Dean was calling her name and he began to stand up, however John grabbed his arm. “She’s not worth it son,” he said. 

“How do you know, you haven’t even given her a change. All you do is cast your stupid prehistoric views on her,” Dean let out. 

“I worn you son sit down or else.” 

“Or else what, you will disown me like Y/N parents did to her?  I know you ran a background check and I am sure you think I don’t know about her history, but I do. I know everything thing she has done, how she has made the world a better place. That’s 1000 times better than any of us sitting round this table, with the exception of Jess.”Dean smiled looking at Jessica. 

“I am sorry Mom, I am going to go make sure my girlfriend is alright,” Dean said while exiting the kitchen. 

He didn’t have to go far to find her, she had stopped around the corner when she heard Dean speak up. His heart broke when he saw she was crying, “ Baby I am so sorry, come here.” 

“Dean I am not sad, did you mean all of that. Like really or was just to make your dad mad?” 

“Of course I meant every last word of it. I should have stood up last night but I didn’t I am sorry.” 

“Dean no one has ever stood up for me like that,” Y/N said as more tears fell on her face. 

Dean wrapped her in his arms whispering, “I love you so much.” When they broke apart Dean took her hand and asked, “So pool house, Christmas movies. I don’t maybe Die Hard and Elf.”

“Oh Dean Winchester you know the way to this girl's heart.” 

It didn’t take long before Y/N feel asleep on Dean as he continued to watch christmas movies enjoying the close space they shared. Before the movie was over Benny walked Mary in, “Bother, someone is here to see you.” 

Well if it’s John tell him he’s not welcome and we if we need to leave we can,” Dean said louder than he intended. 

“Can I join you,” Mary asked. 

“Yes of course, sorry mom.” 

“You know I like her. She’s strong and feisty, just what you need. You also seem happy, and that makes me happy.” 

“Thank you, where’s dad.” 

“He went to work, I don’t think he wanted to be here. After you left Sam laid into him pretty hard about how he didn't like Jess when she first started coming around. That she just distracted him from the work. Give him time he will figure it out and if he doesn’t well I will come see you,” Mary smiled softly. 

“Yeah, I should have done this the frist night. I am an awful boyfriend.” 

“Son we all have our issue and she gets yours. Don’t feel bad about it, just make sure she knows you love her. Ah the Griswolds, should we make a bet that your father will cut off knob on the top of the stairs or that he will have to cut down a tree from he front yard.”

“Ha, well let’s hope it’s neither. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”  They both laughed. 

“You know Dean, most families are like the Griswolds, they want everything to be perfect for their children and it’s impossible and not because we all have a cousin Eddy. There is no perfect in real life. Hell there isn’t even a normal, well outside of the setting on the dyer.”  

Mary stayed and finished the movie with them. Y/N woke up before the ending with both Mary and Dean making jokes about sleeping beauty. Mary let Y/N know that she fully excepted her at the family dinner and to be part of the family photo tonight, a Winchester tradition. Mary also let her know that a dress would be delivered for her an hour before the dinner. 

“Dean, please stay in the guest house for the rest of your trip. I know John will be less than pleased, but seeing your smile I just couldn’t say no.” 

The day was peaceful for both Y/N and Dean. It was the perfect christmas eve. When they hear Benny knock on the door they both sighed knowing dinner was close. 

“Alright kids, so Mary let me bring two outfits. However we talked and we really think both of you should go with this one,” Benny let out hand over a garment bag. 

“Oh my god what is this,” Y/N laughed. 

“Mary and I talked about it and it’s fun and joyful, that’s something she seemed to think you were Y/N and that she knows Dean is. She might have used the world childish.” 

“Ha, well you’re not wrong, I love it.” 

“Hey now, same team,” Dean laughed. 

The outfits where a matching over the top christmas print. Y/N dress and Dean’s suit were both a dark green, and decorated to make them look like christmas trees. 

Looking in the mirror Y/N admired their reflection, “ We look perfectly horrible, I love it,” 

“Well I think you got the perfect part right babe.” 

Before dinner the gathered in the living room around the tree. While John had yet to show up Mary insisted on taking pictures. Everyone loved Dean and Y/N outfits, Jess and Sam even suggested next year they all coordinate. 

As John walked into the room it was clear he disapproved of Y/N sitting on Dean’s lap. Lucky Ellen walked in around that time announcing dinner is ready. They all sat down a the formal dinning room table, Y/N was nestled on the corner next to Mary and Dean, far away form John. 

“Alright family, John will lead us in grace and it looks like you Sam are going to be the frist to say what you are most thankful for this year and what you look forward to in the next year,” Mary said. 

As Sam started speaking Y/N’s mind went off the rails. She was most grateful for Dean, but could she say that. But she had to say it, it’s true. There were a few other things on her list but Dean was on the top. She took a deep breath and listened to everyone speak before her it was her turn. 

“Honestly, I am so very grateful for Dean. Even when we were just friends he alway made me feel valued and that’s not something I am used to. It was also because of Dean’s help that was I able to mentor two homeless youths and help them get off the streets and be productive member of the community.” 

“That’s amazing Y/N,” Mary let out. 

“Was that Kyle and Abby,” Dean asked. 

“Yeah,” she smiled. 

“I, I didn’t know they were homeless,” Dean said with a sad smile. “Alright I guess it’s my turn. So I am most grateful to running into this quirky little bartend in NW Portland. I asked her out on a date more than once, she always said no. Then I started to hangout with her as friends and she showed me a world I didn’t know about. And how she was making the world a better place, also how I could make the world a better place. Y/N you inspire me to be a better human and I hope I can have a fraction of the impact you have had on this world.” When Dean finished he look and Y/N, and kissed her deeply and passionately. John said nothing. 

Sam’s boys went next and then it was John’s turn. 

“Well I love and I am also grateful for my family. But right now I am more thank for our private investigator Azazel. Because of him I know that Y/N over there is a gold digging whore. 10 years ago she was in a relationship Dick Roman and when that relationship ended he had to giver her 25k to get off the hook. It looks like her father set them up on a date, them being business associates and when it was all over her family disowned her. So clearly she’s just a whore looking for money. If Mr Roman couldn’t make her happy, I don’t think you can.” 

“Are you done John or is there more,” Y/N asked. 

“There is more, I knew your mother before she died. I didn’t know till well Azazel found it but I remember her. I remember her talking about  her freeloading daughter that never did anything to help the family succeed. She was ashamed and disappointed in you 15 years ago and I think she would still be today.” 

“Well clearly John you believe removing me for the picture is more important than your family's happiness so you would probably be a good friend to my mother. My father actually negotiated a deal for me to marry Dick. I wanted nothing to do with it. At first he was respectful however after a year that all changed. There was physical abuse and he would bring in his own medic’s to patch me up, there was rape that no one would believe when I went to the police. The only reason I am probably alive is because Dick’s lawyer saw what was happening and offered me a life line, Crowley. The first time I met Crowley my eye socket was shattered. Crowley has all of the evidence, the pictures of everything that happened. I just wanted to be free, Crowley got me my freedom and a lump sum of money. He is the only one who keeps that evidence incase something where to happen to me. When I was at Crowley’s my parents came for me multiple times and I didn’t understand why. It was then that Crowley found out my parents had pretty much sold me to Dick and Dick was coming after the money he gave them. Crowley helped me disappear into a bar in Portland where no one I know would find me. And with that I think I am done for this evening. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve,” she said standing up and walking out. The dinning room was quite. Not a word everyone taking everything in. Dean new about Dick but not the physical abuse, she just told him about the mental and that Crowley got her off. 

The staff was never far off and Y/N was hoping that Benny would be right there, she wasn’t disappoint. “You’re bag is still in the car, would you like to go.” 

“Yes, please, “ Y/N said as tears fell down her face. There was no noise form the dining room. Nothing. Y/N figured Dean would need some time to over come his anger. She never told Dean about the physical abuse or rape because Dean is an accquatice of Dick’s and that would never end well. 

“Cheer, I don’t want you to be alone tonight, Jo has the night off and Ellen will be home soon. Can I take you there. Bobby will be over before the night is over.” 

“I would rather be alone but I don’t have any money on me right now so I am at your disposal.” 

“Y/N, no you aren’t. If you want a first class room in this town I can get you that. But we do like you and I am worry. Dean’s going to be worried. If he finds out I left you alone I would get a beating, cheer.” 

“Okay Benny, Jo’s it is.” 

When Benny showed up a Jo’s place he messaged Mary letting her know where Y/N was and that he wouldn’t be coming back tonight. Mary was grateful for the news and insisted that Ellen and Bobby go home early to spend time with their family. When Ellen walked in she brought a few more gifts into the house with her. Mary had a feeling that this might happened so she had packed a few extra gifts for Y/N and let Bobby know. 

“Well this is wonderful,” Ellen walked in to the room seeing Jo’s arm around Y/N while Benny sat on the floor beneath them while It’s a Wonderful Life played on the TV. “I have pie who wants some?” 

As the pie was handed being finished Ellen starts to hand out gifts. 

“What’s this,”Y/N asked, “I don’t need anything.” 

“Well no one needs anything, but you deserve it,” Ellen said, “We all open one gift Christmas Eve for a reason and I think you will find you’re very useful” 

As everyone opened their gift she could see they were all christmas pj’s and Y/N smiled. “ These are the best, but how did you know I would be here Ellen.” 

“I didn’t, these are actually from Mary.” And with that Y/N couldn’t hold the tears back. Mary had gotten her a gift incase she wasn’t there. There is so much thought and work, money makes it easier but she had never felt so love in her life. Ellen held her that best a mom could and let her cry her tears of joy. 

After presents there were more holiday movies and finally eggnog and a red wine hot coco. Bobby and Ellen didn’t have much room but Y/N was more than happy with the sofa. After the family when to bed, Y/N drifted off to sleep watching the fire die down wondering how she got so lucky and hoping that Dean was okay.

Next Part (will be out Christmas Day) 

You can entertain yourself over here with my other stories

TAGS

@akshi8278

[alitheamateur]

A Taste of Home

Summary: Amelia Calvert is a Boston-born girl returning home after the sur turn of events in her marriage. Her life is turned upside down, leaving her nearly broke, jobless for the most part, and sleeping in the childhood bedroom of her parents home. As if things weren’t shaken up enough for Millie, a familiar face discovers her return to the city, and her world turns to the happiest, most confusing whirlwind of shambles. 

Characters: Chris Evans X OFC

Warnings: Slight age gap (9ish years). Language

Back home. Back to square one. Back like things never changed.

Except everything had. You were returning without a job, no abode of your own, and a nixed husband. It was all supposed to be under wraps, but whispers spread like an unrelenting rash. The bad kind of rash that you never want to have to call an ex about… Your city may be a big one, one supposed to be above and beyond all that small-town “he said, she said” nonsense. But, gossip found it’s place no matter the zip code, and you just happened to be square in the center of it.

You much preferred Boston to the sweltering air of rural Texas, but the things we do for love, huh? Your husbands’ home-base office happened to stand in the city of Austin, and at the time, you would’ve followed him to Tim-buck-too had it been necessary. “At the time” meaning before you found him on all fours, belt loose around the ankles with his paralegal. You’d had her in your home, schmoozing her with expensive wine, and an overpaid caterer because you didn’t want to poison her with your shit concoctions in the kitchen. “At the time” anyway….

Leaving your soon to be ex-husband without so much as a “see you later”, Boston called your name. And for the time being, so did your old room on the upstairs floor of your parent’s house. You chose for a few months at least to believe those clichés about “never being too old to go home.”

Your travel blog hadn’t quite caught on with the public yet, and since your divorce wouldn’t be final for countless days, money was nearly nonexistent. You were separating from a lawyer, too. Meaning a substantial monetary settlement in your favor was highly unlikely.

Thankfully, you always had a place at Calvert’s Cup, your family owned coffee shop just a mere 4 blocks from your childhood home. The familiar solace of the place was comforting, and the warm, fuzzy smell of the house blend soothes your aching, confused heart, as well. Sure, the little downward brows of pity from the nosey morning crowd who’d made it a freaking special ops mission to discover your reason for returning to Boston wore you out. But, there was no stopping them. No way, no how. So, you played on with your best smile, and did your due diligence around the little shop.

 One Tuesday, with the rain pouring outside like the coffee at morning rush, and thunder rumbling against the loose panes of the front window, you ran back to the register once hearing the twinkling of the entry bell. Your line of sight never raised as you greeted the patron approaching your counter.

 “Morning. What can I do for you?”

 A cackling, raspy outburst and the clapping of a heavy set of hands swiped your attention.

 “Hold on a fucking minute.” The yelping announcement from the very familiar male voice instantly made you want to fall into a cave never to see the light of day again.

 You’d know that loud, Boston city charm anywhere. You swiped a loose lock of hair around the curve of your ear, hoping to God your face didn’t appear as heated & humiliated as it felt.

 Chris, the always handsome kid that lived two doors down from you your entire childhood, in the flesh & very much grown up. Of course, you were highly aware since his face frequented any slimy gossip column on the newsstand weekly. The two of you hadn’t been extremely tight knit in the category of friends almost 15 years ago since he’d been a handful of years older. But he was a face you spent many an hour daydreaming about.

 “Amelia Calvert, in the flesh. God, how long’s it been!? What are you doing here?” He smiled, shaking off the mist of rain settling on his coat.

 Yeah, what are you doing here? Let’s hear it. And don’t leave out that part about moving back in with your parents. That’ll be a real smash.

 “I uh... I’m back here now. For good, most likely. Some things have just.... well, changed recently.”

 Before he had time to retort, his pocket chimed. Pulling the telephone culprit loose, he checked the screen and dismissed its interruption.

 “Well, well. How ‘bout that? I’m sure your mom is ecstatic. I know how chipper my mom gets when I’m in town for a break.”

 The valley girl in you wanted to squeal a little. He was unfathomably handsome, decked in a dark shaded baseball cap, and a shirt resembling the same. The beard was new, but inexplicably welcomed.

 He was simply, well, just Chris. The choir boy who made everyone laugh, and whose house the entire school knew had the best parties. You remember him typically strumming a guitar, and starring in the lead role for every drama club production. Not a single person could ever deny his natural born taking to the stage. And all these years later, the stars, and that damn near perfect beard, had fallen perfectly into the place for him.

 You could feel the metal clasp of your diamond earrings warming against the bashful heat of your blush. Here you were, tied into a stained apron, dry-shampoo caked in your fitful hair, smudges of whipped-cream splattered on the glasses you usually never wore in public, standing in front of a literal A-list celebrity. When were the stars supposed to fall into place for you? Those bastards.

“She’s loving it. She and dad both. I did miss the place…”

“What brings you back anyways? Florida, was it?” He questioned cocking a thick eyebrow, endearing little wrinkles appearing above his left eye.

“Texas, actually. Yeah, it was Texas. I guess it was uh, it was just time to hang up my cowboy hat.”

It drew a belly laugh out of him, and he flapped a hand over his stony peck as if to choke back his uproarious reaction. You needed to feel a laugh like that. But instead, as of late, you were only the butt of such laughter.

His incessant mobile buzzed out again, this time in the palm of his hand.

“Hey, a large house blend, please. 2 sugars would be great.” He politely whispered, muffling the speaker of his phone.

Chris moseyed in circles a few feet from the counter, far enough to make your eavesdropping much more challenging as you appeared to innocently make his order to go. He still talked with his hands, boisterously tossing his head about. That had to be the theater upbringing in him. He may live up to his lax, ‘go with the flow’ reputation, but he definitely had a thing for the dramatic, as well.

You sealed the lid tightly on his biodegradable cup, marking his name across the side with your sharpie, and without thinking, dotted the letter “I” in his name with a tiny little heart. Your psyche was clawing it’s way through to the light one way or another.

“God, sorry about that. Agent bullshit, and all that jazz.” He nodded, rolling his extremely bright eyes.

“Living the dream, right? I can only imagine.” An airy giggle escaped you.

His fingers tapped on the counter, the other hand accepting the steamy java you had whipped up. He chewed his lower lip, gnawing back the tiniest traces of a smile, but the crinkles around his nose gave up his jig.

“It’s damn good to see you, Millie.” It was a simple sentiment. Meaningless, really. But, you could feel behind the bold, warm cadence of his voice that he’d meant exactly what he said. It wasn’t one of those things you say to an old acquaintance because you feel like you have to. Chris seemed…genuinely pleased at your unexpected presence. Which caused those same certain warm cadences in your…. areas. Your heart could’ve exploded into a million beating pieces as your nickname fell from his mouth.

Why the hell did he care though? What did your miniscule return to the city matter? There’d been no contact since his golden ticket was stamped, and truly before now, you weren’t sure he would even recognize your plain face in a crowd.

“Well, I’m happy to know that little ol’ me could brighten your day. And that I’m sure that glorious cup of dark roast had nothing to do with it.”

You were rocking fretfully back and forth behind the counter. Your hands fiddled with the loose watch band fastened around your bony wrists. You were fidgeting undoubtably. You were a fidgeter. The soft auburn whiskers sprouted around his sharp jaws made you fidget.

What those jaws would feel like flexing between your thighs…..

“You’re right. I do love the dark roast. Your dad always leaves a bag with my mom around the holidays for me. This cup seems to taste a little better though, I’m not gonna lie.”

Okay. Was he flirting? That was definitely flirting. You were getting a divorce, not dying. But, he didn’t know that. The wretched “D” word news surely hadn’t spread that far, had it?

You let yourself smile, timidly accepting the compliment with apprehension. This guy could have the ass of half of America on a platter had he been that sort of person. Nothing about the saggy, tired circles under your eyes, and your hair tied into a blonde crows-nest at the crown of your head screamed sex appeal in the slightest.

Chris leaned over the counter, fat beads of rain residue still hanging from his coat dolloped on the counter, one catching your finger. You froze in an instant. Your mind already warring whether to suck his slightly chapped lips into your mouth, or faint from the heavenly poison of his scent climbing into your nostrils.

“But don’t tell your dad. Wouldn’t want to ruin my source of supply.” He whispered deep into your ear like he was spilling some undisclosed secret of the CIA. The mans mouth grazed the shell of your ear, goosebumps climbing up your tensed neck.

“Mhmm…” you choked on your tongue trying to clear your throat. “Your uh, your secrets safe with me.”

“Cross your heart?” With one thick brush of a finger, Chris marked an ‘x’ over the now heaving rise of your chest, politely minding not to drag over your breast. The pert of your begging nipple may have made things a bit awkward.

“I’m a fortress.” You gulped, trying to swallow down the unrelenting urge to capture his lips.

He took a long pull of the coffee, never releasing you from his cuffed stares. You didn’t want to look away from his swimming, batting eyes, but something about the way his neck strained with his swallow called for your attention.

“Come to my place, Mills. Tomorrow night, if you don’t have plans?”

Well, your mom would certainly be distraught that you’d miss movie night, but you could probably squeeze in some time for the guy. But, alone? At his place? No one around to hold you accountable for the screaming, near melted center of your body that suddenly ached for him?

Lacking all power of will, you nodded a probably overzealous acceptance, making his mouth open into a pearly-white smile. A movie star smile. Literally.

“I’ll text you the address then! Have a good one. Glad I ran into you, Amelia.” It was as if the light of the room followed him out the door when it closed behind him, and you were left standing in a blissful fog to make some sense of the events of the last 5 minutes.

And what the hell did you have to wear to Captain America’s house? 

*A/N: PLEASE let me know if you’d like to be added, or removed from the taglist*

tags: @miidailyinspiration @mollybegger-blog @littleluna98

[atinywriting]

Bloody Pen | Wooyoung Serial Killer AU Chapter 6

Nightmare’s Recollection

Please do read Ch 5 before this chapter as it is a complete rewrite and the transition to here will make more sense!

TW: contains explicit and implied various means of child abuse (physically, sexually and mentally). Please proceed with caution if you’re particularly sensitive to these topics.

And, enjoy reading.

His earliest memory as a child was when his mother and father smiled warmly down at him as they walked through a park.

It was one of the happiest memories he had. However, the best out of them all would have to be on his birthday.

After unwrapping all the presents, his dad exchanged a knowing glance with mom and turned to Wooyoung with a big grin.

“Guess what, Wooyoung?” His dad asked.

“Huh?”

His mom giggled and placed her hand over Wooyoung’s. She slowly guided his hand towards her stomach and he gasped as he felt movement underneath his hand. His wide eyed stare met his mother’s shining eyes.  

“You’re gonna have a little brother or sister.”

“Really!?” Wooyoung’s eyes gleamed as he jumped in his spot up and down out of joy. He wrapped his small arms around his mom. “Thank you.”

It was one of the happiest days of his life. Since both his parents worked, he would be left alone for a few hours. It wasn’t so terrible, but he wished he had someone to play with. So, he always pleaded them for a younger sibling. And finally, his wish came true.

He could remember so clearly when his little brother Soohyun was born. Wooyoung remembered watching over Soohyun and playing with him all the time. Making silly faces to make Soohyun giggle. Playing peek-a-boo with him.

Everything was well at the time. At the time, it was such a happy, joyful life.

Until that one call.

He didn’t hear all the words said. But he heard one thing clearly:

“We regret to inform you that your husband has died from a car crash by a drunk driver.”

As the call finished, his mom laid down the phone. Although her back was turned to Wooyoung, he could tell something was wrong with the way she was shaking and the muffled sobs that escaped from her.

“What happened?” He asked her, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

“Your f-father is-is sleeping now,” his mother stammered in between sobs.

“When’s he waking up?”

His mom choked up even more hearing the question. After what seemed to be an eternity of silence, she hesitatingly answered:

“Never.”

At the time, Wooyoung didn’t understand what it meant. Until he saw his father being lowered into the ground.

His eyes were wide. “Why... why are they putting him in the dirt?”

At his words, his mom gasped and put a hand to her mouth. Tears began to leak out of her eyes.

“Oh, Wooyoung,” she sobbed.

“Don’t put him in there! He won’t wake up if you do it!” Wooyoung cries out. He tried to rush and stop the people from burying his father. But, his mom held his hand tightly.

“Let me go! Stop it!”

He struggled and struggled, but his mom held him firmly as the grave was completed.

“Stop it, Wooyoung,” she murmured as she tugged him away. “I told you already.” She struggled in between sniffles. “He can’t wake up anymore. He’s never waking up again.”

That was Wooyoung’s first taste of death. A first experience that cruelly ripped his father away from him.

And it would be the first event that sent everything spiraling downhill. A butterfly effect that lead to disaster after disaster.

That night, Wooyoung wept till there were no more tears to shed. He kept tossing and turning in the bed. No matter what he did, he just couldn’t sleep. Quietly, he got up so his little brother wouldn’t accidentally be woken up and walked to his mother’s room. Whenever he couldn’t sleep, his mother would hug him and stroke his head soothingly. It always worked to lull him to sleep.  

But as he approached the room, he heard two voices: his mom and another which he had never heard of before. A sharp, piercing voice compared to his mother’s much gentler and softer voice. Curious and not wanting to interrupt, he tip toed close to the ajar room and peered in.

“Why do you always call me?” The voice snapped at her. “Do you seriously think I care at all?“

At the harsh tone, she flinched and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, sis. I just thought I should let you know. You two always seemed so close.”

“Well, it serves you both right.” The voice on the phone spat out. A cackle erupted from the phone. “He fucking deserved it.”

Wooyoung froze and his eyes widened. Were they talking about dad?

“How...” She croaked out. Her knuckles almost white as she clenched on to the bedsheets. Tears began to prick her eyes. “How could you say something like that?”

“You. Stole. Everything. Everything from me!” the voice shrieked at her. “Mom. Dad. Friends. It was always you and never me. And when I found someone I loved, you just had to be a slut and steal him away with me. If it weren’t for you, he would’ve fallen in love with me instead!”

She gasped. Her eyes and mouth widened as she stuttered. “I-I didn’t know. I’m sorry—“

“He deserved it for picking you over me. Don’t call me again! Go die along with him!” The voice shrilled before the phone was hung up.

As the phone call ended, Wooyoung was trembling out of anger. How could anyone say something so cruel? To his mom of of all people.

Pale faced and shaken, his mom laid the phone down on the drawer. He finally burst through the room.

“Who was that?”

His mom jumped at his sudden intrusion and hurriedly replied, “No one you need to know.”

Wooyoung frowned but dropped the subject. She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it.

“Are you... okay?”

She smiled faintly. “Of course, I’m fine.” After a moment of silence, she looked up at him. “Wooyoung.”

His mother patted the spot next to her. As soon as he sat down, she held her pinky out to him. At the gesture, Wooyoung sat up straight and looked up into her eyes.

“Promise me,” she whispered. “Promise me that you will be a good brother for Soohyun and that you will always love him.”

Eagerly, he nodded and curled his pinky around hers with a proud declaration of “Promise!” How could he not? Why wouldn’t he? He’d protect Soohyun with all his heart.

After that day, everything changed however. Every day, his mom seemed to stay at work even longer. At first, she’d come home minutes later than normal. “Just a little bit of extra work”, she told him. But it turned into an hour later than normal. Then it became a few hours later than normal. Until eventually, he never saw her except when she dropped him and Soohyun off to school and picked them up.

“Woo?” Soohyun tugged at Wooyoung’s arm, making Wooyoung look at him. “Is mommy ever going to read us bed time stories again?”

Wooyoung didn’t know how to answer and he bit his lip. “I don’t know.”

At the answer, Soohyun deflated. At the sight, Wooyoung immediately ran to his backpack and pulled a few pieces of papers out. Ever since their mom had stopped reading to them, Wooyoung began writing a few stories to read Soohyun.

“I can read you some stories I wrote.”

At the offer, Soohyun’s eyes brightened up and Wooyoung began to read. By the end, he noticed Soohyun was beginning to doze off and he covered the blankets over him.

“You’ll protect me from the bed monsters... right, Woo?“

Wooyoung nodded with a smile as he pulled the blanket over Soohyun. “I promise. Now sleep.”

As soon as he was sure Soohyun was asleep, he walked to the living room and sat down on the floor in front of the door. Hour by hour passed, but he didn’t give up. He wanted to stay up so he could see his mother. Though he had to admit, his eyes were getting sleepy.

By the time it was 5 am, he was almost about to doze off. But, finally he heard the door open.

“What are you doing!?” His mom scolded. “You should’ve been sleeping hours ago.”

“I know. But...” Wooyoung murmured before looking back up at his mom. “I don’t see you anymore.”

Taken aback by his answer, she stumbled back and a sad look took over her face. She bent down to Wooyoung’s level and wrapped him into her arms.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered.

“Aren’t you tired?“

“Don’t worry, Wooyoungie. Moms are strong.” She pinched his cheeks with a faint smile on her face. “I have to work more so you and Soohyun can live happily. Do you understand?”

He nodded. But deep inside, a gut instinct told him that something bad was going to happen.

It continued like this. Him taking care of Soohyun. Barely ever seeing his mom. Over the months, his mother seemed to grow more tired and even more tired. The eye bags under her eyes had grown even darker which was even more accentuated by how paler and gaunt she had grown by the days.

And one day... it happened.

He tried staying up again so he could his mom. And once again, it took till 5 am for the door to open. But, this time was much different than the last. She feebly walked only a few steps through the door.

Then her body crumpled to the floor.

“MOM!”

He begged, pleaded for her to wake up. But no matter how much he pleaded, she never woke up.

Death has taken another life, his mother away from him.

She had overworked herself to death.

It was after that, that the two of them were moved. Moved into that terrible place with those horrible people.

The people that drove them to that horrid house said he and Soohyun were being left with their aunt and uncle as they were the only family they had left. After dropping them off, the car zoomed off into the distance, leaving Wooyoung and Soohyun in front of the house.

Fidgeting in place, Soohyun’s wide eyes looked up to Wooyoung for reassurance. In response, Wooyoung intertwined his hands with Soohyun’s.

“We’re going to be okay,” Wooyoung assured him with a small smile. “We’ll go in together.”

With a nod of Soohyun’s head, they walked to the door together, hand in hand. Taking a deep breath, Wooyoung rang the door bell.

After a few minutes, the door swung open. The woman—who must’ve been their aunt—was stiff and she held a tight smile as she held the door open. But as soon as she greeted them, Wooyoung froze at the familiar shrill voice.

“Hello... children.”

Wooyoung’s eyes widened and he gritted his teeth. He would never forget the cruel voice that made his mom cry. This had to be a mistake. Why was he and Soohyun being left with her of all people?

Dazed, he and Soohyun wordlessly followed their aunt. Finally, they stopped at a door.

“This is your room.”

Their new room was barren and dusty. Cracks and holes were riddled along the walls. And only a single mattress with some springs sticking out laid in the center of the room.

Before their aunt walked away, she turned her head to the side at Wooyoung. He wasn’t sure why, but his aunt’s stare made him uncomfortable. Her stare was so focused on him, it felt as if her eyes were piercing into his soul.

“You look a lot like your father,” she quietly noted. She walked away and slammed the door, leaving them in their room.

Soohyun sat down and curled up into a ball. He rocked back and forth on the mattress. Dropping his backpack on to the floor, Wooyoung sat by Soohyun. It was silent for a few moments until Wooyoung heard a few sniffles.

“Soohyun?” Woohyun gently put his hand on Soohyun’s back.

“What’s... what’s going to happen to us?” He softly asked. His big, teary eyes peered up to Wooyoung, desperate for an answer.

“I don’t know,” Wooyoung admitted. “But, you don’t need to worry. No matter what, we’ll be okay.”

“... Promise?”

Wooyoung held Soohyun’s hand and curled his pinky around Soohyun’s.

“Pinky promise! I’ll protect you no matter what!”

However, this wasn’t like the times he promised Soohyun he’d protect him from imaginary monsters under the bed. This time, the monsters were real.

And they were living with them.

His uncle slammed the glass down, 'Come here, you brat.'

Wooyoung walked to him and crossed his arms with a scowl on his face.

”Be a good kid and get me more beer from the basement.”

“Go get it yourself,” Wooyoung retorted.

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s head snapped to the right and he felt a stinging pain on the side of his face. He heard Soohyun next to him gasp in horror. Stunned, he brought his hand up to his numb face.

Did his uncle... just hit him?

“Don’t talk back to me,” his uncle growled. “You will treat those higher than you with respect, you little shit.”

His aunt, who had been sitting at the table, rolled her eyes and scoffed. “That stupid, irresponsible bitch really just had to leave those two with us,” she muttered.

How dare she!? Rage filled his entire being.

“Don’t talk about mom like that!” Wooyoung snapped.

His uncle raised a fist and swung at Wooyoung, knocking him to the floor. Wooyoung gasped, feeling his head spinning in circles. Black spots danced in his vision.

“What did I just say!?”

Any annoyances or mistakes made no matter how minor, resulted in punishment. But whether it was more chores or a beating, Wooyoung made sure Soohyun wouldn’t take any of it.

CRASH!

Soohyun gasped in fright as the vase crashed to the floor in pieces. He had accidentally bumped into the vase and caused it to fall. His face turned deathly pale and he begun to shake in trepidation.

Their uncle walked into the room, glowering as held a smoking cigarette in one hand.

“Who. Did. This.”

Jumping in front of Soohyun, Wooyoung shouted, “I did it!”

Soohyun spluttered, trying to say that he was the one that did it. Not Wooyoung. But, it was too late. Their uncle had dragged Wooyoung by his hair and threw him to the ground. A foot connected to Wooyoung’s ribs.

“Stop it!” Soohyun screamed. He ran to their uncle and tried to stop him. “Stop hurting Woo!” However, he could do absolutely nothing and he was merely shoved aside.

“Don’t stop me! Or, you’ll be next!”

At the words, Soohyun froze in place, completely overtaken by terror. He whimpered, watching helplessly on the side as he watched his beloved brother get beaten. Unable to continue to watch, he covered his eyes with his hands.

Wooyoung merely shut his eyes closed and prayed that it would stop soon. Not once did Wooyoung cry or shout in pain. He had grown used to it at this point.

Their uncle stopped briefly, but he wasn’t done. To Wooyoung’s alarm, he suddenly turned Wooyoung on to his stomach and lifted up his shirt to reveal his back.

“This will teach you, won’t it?”

Then, Wooyoung felt something jam into his back. And suddenly, an intense burning sensation that made him scream in pain and cry.

“AGGHHH!” 

It happened a few more times. After a while, Wooyoung’s cries ceased. It didn’t hurt anymore. His back felt numb. Finally, he felt their uncle get off him. As their uncle stormed off, Wooyoung caught a glimpse of the squashed cigarette in their uncle’s hand. He heard tiny footsteps hurry towards him and he looked up to see Soohyun with tears pouring down his face. 

“Why,” Soohyun sobbed. “Why did you do that? You didn’t do it. I did it.”

Wooyoung slowly reached his hand out to Soohyun’s and curled his pinky around his. He tried to smile up at him, even though it was painful.

“I promised... didn’t I? I promised to keep you safe.”

It wasn’t only just the physical pain that Wooyoung endured, however.

One day, his aunt had called him up to go to her room alone.

“Close the door and lock it.”

He followed the instruction and locked the door. Without a word, his aunt patted the spot beside her on the bed and he sat down. She brought her hand up to Wooyoung’s face and slowly stroked it.

“You look exactly just like your father,” she sighed as her red finger nails trailed his face.

Something felt off and uncomfortable to Wooyoung as she did this. But, he stayed in place. After a few minutes, she stopped and clasped her hands together.

“I have a little deal for you. It’s very easy. You just have to do what I say without resisting. I’ll treat you and your little brother more nicely if you do.”

Instantly as soon as he heard the last sentence, he agreed without thinking. “Okay.”

But, he had no idea what he truly was in for. With one word, he unknowingly sealed the deal with the devil. A malicious smirk curled up on his aunt’s red lips.

“That’s... a good boy.” Her eyes glinted with a look that Wooyoung would unfortunately grow familiar with. She suddenly pushed him down on to the bed. “Now, be quiet and take.”

Stop. Please stop. He begged in his mind. He didn’t want this.

He wanted to cry and scream as he felt her mouth and hands on him. But if he didn’t, Soohyun wouldn’t be treated well because of him. So, he tried his best to stay quiet the entire session as his aunt touched him. By the end, his entire body was defiled with her red lipstick marks and scratches from her red nails.

Her touch felt like it was scalding burns on his body. He felt so filthy. He didn’t want to do this again. But, he had no choice.

It happened again the next day.

And, the day after that. 

And again. 

And again and again and again.

But, he didn’t complain. To his aunt’s credit, she kept her word. She brought them nicer clothes and gave them more food than she used to. She was much less harsher in punishments.

As long as he let her use his body for her own pleasure.

Soohyun was okay. And that’s all that mattered. Wooyoung would bear it all, if it meant protecting Soohyun from all the bad. No matter how many times he’d take Soohyun’s place in punishments, it was alright. No matter how many times he was beaten black and blue, it was alright. No matter how many times he was forced, it was alright.

He’d grown numb to it all. He didn’t care anymore.

As long as Soohyun was safe. As long as Soohyun never suffered.

Everything would be okay.

It would only be a few more years anyways before he’d get a job, earn enough money to run away with Soohyun and live a new life.

But not even life was kind enough to grant him that much.

Of all days he had to come home too late from school. 

As he opened the door, his eyes were wide as he saw Soohyun get pushed back hard by their uncle. It happened so fast. But it felt as if time had slowed to a crawl as the back of Soohyun’s neck fell towards the edge of the hard counter.

CRACK.

His body collapsed to the floor.

“Soo-Soohyun?”

But, Soohyun didn’t get up at the call of his name. Instead his small body laid motionless on the floor.

There was a scream.

No, it was the howl of an enraged beast.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?”

The only thing he could see was red as he charged at his uncle. Wooyoung jumped on his uncle’s back and pummeled him with his fists as hard as he could. His uncle snarled, flailing his arms about as he struggled to get Wooyoung off his back.

“Get off me, you stupid brat!”

After several seconds, his uncle managed to wrench Wooyoung off and slammed him on to the floor. Wooyoung gasped and choked as he felt his uncle’s hands press tightly against his neck. He could feel his uncle’s grip on his neck tighten even more. Struggling, he reached his arm back and pulled the bottom drawer open. In that drawer, he knew there were several knives.

He grabbed a knife and with all his strength, Wooyoung plunged the knife into the side of his uncle’s neck.

“Urgh!”

His uncle’s eyes were wide and blood spurted from his mouth. His grip around Wooyoung’s neck loosened. Taking advantage of this, Wooyoung slid himself out from underneath. He took the knife out from his uncle’s neck, turned his uncle’s body and drove the knife down his face.

“YOU! YOU KILLED HIM!” Wooyoung screeched as he stabbed into his uncle’s head. “Bring him back! Bring him back! Bring him back!”

His uncle was already dead, but he continued to wildly stab at his head. A normal person would’ve stopped because there was no need for more.

But, it felt good. It felt empowering, in fact.

A euphoric rush ran through Wooyoung’s body as he felt the knife stab into flash. It felt too good to stop. He continued until essentially all the flesh above the jawline had been minced away and only minuscule bits of flesh attached to the bone remained.

But when he finished his rampage, that euphoric rush had disappeared as he laid eyes on his younger brother’s broken body on the floor.

“Soo-Soohyun?” He called out to him weakly as he crawled towards Soohyun’s crumpled body. He cradled Soohyun’s head in his blood soaked hands. “Soohyun...” he cried out. “Please... wake up.”

But no matter how hard he pleaded, Soohyun’s body laid still. His wide, glassy eyes merely stared up to the ceiling, never blinking.

He failed.

Wake up!

He failed.

“I’m sorry!” He screamed as tears streamed down his face. “I’m sorry I broke my promise! I’m sorry!”

He failed. He failed. He failed. He failed. He failed. He failed. He failed. He failed

“Wooyoung! Wake up!”

Wooyoung gasped as he was suddenly woken up to reality and he met your wide, concerned eyes.

You squeaked. He suddenly had wrapped his arms around you and buried his head into your shoulders.

“Woo- Wooyoung?”

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out. You could feel tears dropping on to your shirt. “I’m so sorry.”

Though you were flabbergasted by the sudden situation, you immediately began comforting him. You hugged him back and stroked his head soothingly. Wooyoung choked up even more at the gesture.

So warm. So gentle. So loving. It felt so familiar. It felt the same as when his mother used to comfort him.

“Hey, ____?”

“Hm?”

“You’re never going to leave me right?”

You were taken aback by the serious question and thought to yourself for a moment. It hadn’t been too long since you first found Wooyoung. In fact, it had only been merely a few days.

But even so, you really did grow to like him over the last few days. And whatever was going on with him, you wanted to help him somehow.

Briefly, you let go of him and held your pinky up.

“I promise. Pinky promise, especially.”

[dwindledglow]

── ✰. ┊HEADCANONS.

01 › FAMILY & BACKGROUND

one. in spite of the picture perfect marriage and the pretty image of a loving family whose lives are based on unity and trust, estela’s family isn’t particularly close. in fact, her parents don’t even live together or reside in the same country. giorgina, commonly known as gio, resides in cassis in the french riviera - where she’s been for four years now - and continues to work as a fashion stylist and fashion critic for some highly regarded brands and magazines, while miguel resides in their family mansion in barcelona and continues to control and lead the family’s business. it’s been this way for as long as estela can remember ; summers spent in between sitges and saint tropez, doing half of her education in barcelona and the remaining in paris before becoming an adult and moving to new york, visiting mom on spring break and dad at some point in the summer, playing pretend at christmas parties and social events. yet, despite the mild estrangement, estela has never felt unloved, ignored or abandoned. she continues to play her role as the golden child and refrain from inquiring her parents about the lifestyle they lead — or why neither of them would request a divorce and would rather keep a failed marriage on going just for appearance.

two. estela comes from money. you can go down generations and generations down on the family tree and you’ll have a hard time finding someone who wasn’t filthy rich in there. her grandparents on her mother’s side are aristocrats, people in a position of power with whom estela has never bothered establishing a deeper connection. from the little she knows, it would be worthless to do so as their ideals and ethics differ massively from her own. miguel’s, her father’s side of the family, have always been more open-minded people who have always invested their time and great chunks of money into organizations and associations that helped a variety of causes — those are lessons and ethics estela has kept. she recognizes her privilege and the fact her bank account is, in many ways, what feels like an unending resource of money and she’s aware she wouldn’t ever have to move a finger for the rest of her life if she so pleased but instead of allowing herself to splurge and lead a luxurious, extra lifestyle, she pledged to continue to work to support herself and only ever spend more than necessary in something she will truly value in the future.

three. every year, on december 27th, as an in-between christmas and new years, her family throws a massive event for all the company’s employees & respective families, their closest (read over 500 people who her parents need to be reminded of their names) friends and family. it’s one of the most overwhelming days of the year for stela and, wasn’t for the fact it’s the only change she gets to see everyone in the family — seeing as a family brunch follows on the 28th — she would absolutely dread it and everything that comes with it.

four. her relationship with her mother isn't always as amazing as it looks from the outside. the girl loves her dearly, going as far as saying her mother is her favorite person, but the truth is, often times, if stela doesn’t make the effort to reach out, gio won’t either. growing up, gio only ever wanted estela to be perfect — look at what you eat so you don’t put on unnecessary weight, please go and change into something appropriate, watch out how you behave - this is a very important event, why didn’t you score the highest mark?, you should see the hairstylist to fix that lifeless hair. for giorgina, love and affection wasn’t the most important to give a child - discipline and a perfect image was. image all the woman has ever relayed and cared about, and quite possibly one of the reasons why she not only ruined her marriage, but has managed to make her own daughter grow more and more distant from her.

02 › SCHOOL & UNIVERSITY

five. as you would expect from the golden child, estela did exceptionally well in school despite the bumpy road moving schools and countries. she always excelled at most subjects despite not being particularly passionated about any specific field of study. she was the type of student you’ll see reaching for the material first, taking perfect notes and reviewing them right as they got home, while being very much hands on and striving to learn more and perfect what she was taught.

six. the move to france was brutal and a very rocky time for the girl, even if she has never showcased it or tried to make a big deal out of it. whenever miguel would call and ask if she was okay, she would answer with a perfect answer that relayed how she was doing amazingly, as per usual. whenever gio questioned her — and it wasn’t often — she made sure to display her good grades and panoply of friends to make her believe nothing was wrong and the move had been just fine. reality was different and she spent nights silently crying on her room, battling demons and an overwhelming anxiety, battling the voices that kept mocking her and reminding her that she wasn’t good enough in anything she did. 

seven. estela has only ever really dated two people, despite all the guys she’s been associated with. angel, the first one, she doesn’t even consider as dating since it was a child’s thing and they ended up separating after two months when the summer ended and school begun again. oliver, who she met while on high-school in france, was exactly the kind of guy her family would expect to see her with. well-educated, good mannered and charismatic, the brit had been the most pleasant breath of fresh air when stela met him. a sporty guy who was aiming for a scholarship in the states once high-school was done but still excelled at every other class, your typical prince-charming, at least, until he showed his true colors and ended up being the biggest disappointment of her life. turns out oliver really did wanted estela, but he also wanted marie and lily and sarah from back home and sade from the summer holiday... his motives to get on with stela consisted on the fact she would be good for his image and she was truly quite the catch, the full-package as he chose to put it — words that haunt her to this day — and when things didn’t exactly work as he pleased, oliver decided to dump stela in front of the whole school and make it the most humiliating experience by spreading rumors left and right about her and their past relationship.

eight. her choice of a degree has been majorly criticized by her mother’s family (and silently applauded by gio, herself). to begin with, they think it’s not acceptable such a bright young woman wouldn’t pick an ivy league school and then, she should’ve sought something more prestigious than a career in film and television. what are you going to do with that anyway? for her to not pursue a career in engineering or medicine or law is an insult for her family and for stela to pick something in the creative, art area — something so far from what the family’s business revolves around — is almost a disgrace to the vázquez name. likewise, the disapproval extends to her choreographer career and the fact she teaches dance classes. if she ever wanted to pursue something within the area, she should’ve naturally dedicated her whole life to being a prima ballerina and being featured in something worthy on broadway or a good ballet company — not contemporary dance or teaching at some unknown studio in new york. 

nine. family disapproval asides, estela is the happiest she’s ever been with her choice of majors and the opportunity to work in the dance industry, even if it’s not on a large scale. she couldn’t feel more thankful she gets to combine her passion for film and television with her passion for dance and teaching. often times, and courtesy of the way she was raised, she feels like an impostor and a fraud, like she doesn’t deserve her life or the opportunities she has, but when she looks at the bigger picture and can beat this feeling, she genuinely does think she’s the happiest and most free she’s ever been in her life.

03 › BITS & BOBS

ten. estela is a chameleon and a hurricane, all combined in one. she can make you believe she’s a saint and the next minute shake you up with her bold and blunt comments. that stems from years of being taught how to behave and how to mask her feelings and thoughts, her true self, just match the picture perfect image she exudes. she’s not afraid to say what she thinks — and boy, is that a lot sometimes — and she’ll check you right into your place if you try to step her down. on the same line of thought, she isn’t the pure soul her family likes to paint her as ( and they know it too ). she’s not afraid to voice what she wants and get what she wants, and whereas she’s always morally correct, she doesn’t mind turning tables when need calls for it.

eleven. she has two dogs and a cat. chai, a cream & white colored maltipoo, tofu, a cream & white shih tzu x poodle mix and shimi, a scottish straight cat. her life never allowed her to have pets before ( neither did her mother ) so estela took advantage of having moved to new york to get shimi, her first ever pet, and when she turned nineteen, her father gave her tofu as a birthday gift. she adopted chai in the beginning of the year.  

[hwu-adventures-blog]

Honouring the Past:

Book Series: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir, references to the It Lives series.

Pairing: Maxwell x MC, mentions Lucas x MC.

Setting: before the Apple Ball but after the car crash.

Warnings: mention of bullying by family members, entitled parent and entitled sibling, separation of parents, bad language.

Description: whilst looking through a box of her old stuff, Zoe Beaumont comes across a photo that brings back some memories of a tragedy in her life, it’s up to Maxwell to try to cheer his wife up and that somehow leads to a discussion about what they are going to name the future Heir of Cordonia.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A fairly heavily pregnant Zoe Beaumont was sat in her room shifting through some boxes her dad had sent over of her childhood stuff he’d thought she might like for the baby when she came across it. a framed photo of her and her younger half brother, Fred. It from one time her dad and her had embarked on their annual visit to the town of Westchester in Oregon to visit her mother, Alexandra, stepfather, Elijah and half brother, she could remember that summer clearly. She was twelve, her paternal step mother and step sister , Julie and Liana were pushing the boundaries of their usual petty bullying and she was miserable. Her dad, James, had noticed her mood change and had tried to get it out of her however she wouldn’t tell him so her dad had left her step mother Julie and stepsister Liana to house sit, whilst he and Zoe hopped onto the plane to see the rest of her family in an attempt to cheer her up. It was one of the best things her dad had done, and he was a great dad, but the lengths he was willing to go to to cheer his daughter up always astounded Zoe.

You see, her mom and dad had been best friends since they were little and that hadn’t seemed to change, even after one drunken night when they were sixteen and seventeen that had created Zoe herself, or when they decided to end the relationship that had just fallen out of romantic love when she was two, or when her mom met her current husband Elijah Peralta and had her son, Fredrick when Zoe was five (hell, it was James who introduced Alexandra and Elijah in the first place, and was even best man at their wedding and godfather to Fred) or when her dad married an entitled witch with her spawn of Hell who was the same age as Zoe at six but acted like her spawn was above her despite her being seventeen at her birth just because Zoe was bi-racial and hated her mom just because she was black. Nevertheless, Zoe loved most of the situation she was in, she got on like a house on fire with Elijah, who treated her like she was his own child, and she had the best little brother in the world. She’d had so much fun there, on that holiday, she’d forgotten about the petty abuse she’d suffered at Liana and Julie’s hand, and they’d even gotten the biggest ice cream from a dessert shop on the last day there and that was when the photo was taken. It was one of her happiest memories and one of the last ones before her life went to shit. Her dad got very sick, she was forced to drop out of college and drop her dream of pursuing a career in musical theatre and get a job as a waitress because why should her step mom pay for her husband’s medication, when she was paying for her own daughter’s education? which said daughter then screwed up because she got pregnant by her badboy boyfriend. And then kicked Zoe out of the house on her twenty first birthday so she now had to pay for her father’s treatment (which she didn’t mind really she’d do anything to help her dad) and rent and food. She managed it, for a few years but of course if the opportunity came, to leave she was definitely going to take it. And she was glad she did, when it came along in the form of Maxwell Beaumont (and Liam and Drake). Luckily by that time her father was in remission from his illness and that only added to her choice of escaping. Zoe’s life immediately became better after she left, only hindered by the death of her younger brother just after she’d started (kind of secretly) dating Maxwell.

She remembered that phone call well, she was in the lounge area of the Beaumont’s residence when her mom had called in tears. She’d obviously asked what was wrong and then was told her brother was dead. He’d gone off into the woods with his friends and then most of them had been found dead, with the only survivor being Lucas, a boy that Zoe knew for certain her brother had a crush on and her brother’s body was never found but he was assumed dead as Lucas had told them Fred was dead. She’d broken down on the phone then and there and was inconsolable, to the point where not even Maxwell had been unable to cheer her up in the usual manor.

All this thinking of her brother was making her upset. He was never going to get to see his niece or nephew, he wasn’t going to get to grow old with Lucas, who Zoe met after the funeral, and had her suspicions confirmed that, yeah they were in love with each other. And that upset her. She was also kind of happy thinking of her brother before he died and all the rare but fun times they had together.

“Hey Zo, Liam’s just arrived as have Hana and Drake, to start to get ready for the Apple ball tonight” Maxwell poked his head round the door an excited grin on his face, he was so excited to meet his son or daughter, in a month or so, and Zoe honestly had no doubt he was going to be a great father.

“Hm? Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute” Zoe said sounding uncharacteristically distant

“Woah hold up, what’s wrong my little blossom?” Maxwell’s demeanour suddenly changed from cheerful to concerned as he hurried to his wife’s side.

“It’s nothing, it’s probably just stupid hormones” Zoe sniffed

“Come on Zoe, it’s my job as your husband to cheer my amazing wife and mother of my child up, so what’s up?”

Zoe didn’t say anything but looked down at the photo, Maxwell followed her gaze and gently took the photo from her to have a look

“is that what you looked like as a kid? My wife was cute even then” Maxwell said “and I’m guessing that’s-“

“Fred” Zoe’s voice was barely a whisper

“Is that what’s upsetting you?”

“It’s stupid- it just occurred to me that our kid is never going to meet their maternal uncle and-“

“Hey that’s not stupid, I’d be sad if our kid never got to meet Bertrand if he died before they were born and honestly I’m a bit upset my mother isn’t able to meet them”

“I don’t know why it’s getting to me now though”

“Like you said, hormones” Maxwell joked “ow!” He exclaimed and leapt up as Zoe hit him playfully with the cushion next to her but she managed to smile at him through her tears but then it dropped back

“You know what, we should honour your brother somehow”

“What?”

“why don’t we name them Fredrick if they turn out to be a boy, like you suggested when we were last discussing it?”

“A-are you sure? I seem to remember it was a little too traditional when I last suggested it and I want our kid to have a name we both like”

“It’s grown on me, in fact I think it would be perfect way better than Maxwell Jr” Maxwell smiled

“Really?” Zoe smiled her eyes prickling with more tears

“Yeah anything is better than Maxwell Jr, we’d be honouring your brother in the best way and i think that any sibling of yours would be proud of their amazing sister and her brilliant child even if they never got to meet them”

“Oh Maxwell!” Zoe exclaimed crying harder

“Hey I thought I was supposed to cheer you up, not make you worse”

“I’m not sad, I’m happy, it’s the stupid hormones” Zoe said wiping her eyes with her hand

“Well-“

“-Maxwell, I love you, but if you make another hormone joke that cushion will be thrown at you in a place you don’t want to be hit and I may be eight months pregnant but my strength is just as good”

“Noted”

“Just since were on the topic of baby names, any thought on girl’s names?”

“It’s silly, but I always liked Grace as a name” Maxwell said

“You’re kidding?”

“What? Why?”

“I’ve always liked the name as my mom’s mom was named Grace, and she really helped my mom fight the stigma of being a black teen mom, she died when I was really young but Granny Grace became an inspiration to me” Zoe laughed

“Grace if it’s a girl and Fred if it’s a boy! We’ve got our child’s name sorted!” Maxwell exclaimed before he looked at his wife beaming with delight “I can’t wait to meet them!”

“hopefully not for another month or so though, unless something goes wrong, which is unlikely if we take it easy” Zoe replied

“I’m not sure I can wait that long but I’ll try” Maxwell grinned “I’d rather they be healthy and on time than not though”

“Did you hear that? Just come out when you’re ready, there’s no rush- seriously, you may be your dad’s child and mommy and daddy can’t wait to meet you but take your time okay?” Zoe addressed her bump softly before feeling a kick from the baby “I’m going to take that as a yes”

Maxwell and Zoe laughed at that before Maxwell knelt down and rested his head against his wife’s tummy

“Hey, it’s your dad here, just here to tell you that we’re going to be quite the team, because we’ve already managed to cheer your mom up already”

That was true Zoe was no longer crying or upset in any capacity “Also we need to go to your uncle’s Liam, Drake and auntie Hana and get ready for your mom’s last event before we can meet you and I know she’s feeling nervous about it after the last few eventful weeks we’ve had so if you can give her an encouraging kick that would be great!”

The baby kicked in response again Maxwell looked at Zoe “the baby has spoken” he got up on his feet and offered her his hand “Come on, let’s go and see our friends for the last event before we’re a proper family” Zoe took his hand with a smile and was pulled up by her husband before wrapping her arms around him the best she could

“What’s that for?”

“Thank you Maxwell, for putting up with me and being the best husband ever”

“You don’t have to thank me, I’ve got the best wife ever, although I was half expecting you to blame your hormones for your mood again”

“Aaaand moment over” Zoe said moving away from Maxwell and picking up another cushion from the bed and looking menacingly at Maxwell in a light hearted way, aimed at him

“I forgot! I’m sorry! Zoe! Have mercy! Zoe!” He flinched bracing himself for the thud

Zoe lowered her aim putting the cushion back

“Alright, but only because our friends are waiting”

She smiled and took hold of Maxwell’s warm hand, intertwining her finger in between his

“Come on, let’s go and see our friends”

And the couple walked out hand in hand, knowing that very soon they’ll be a proper family and Zoe was sure any child of hers would make her brother proud, wherever he was now.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A/N: This is my way of coping with the fact that the MC and Their LI has had no discussion about baby names together and this probably won’t be canon but still. Also, I hadn’t really gone into my MC’s backstory although I headcannon that my TRR/TRH!MC and my ITLITW!MC were half siblings and yes, literally only Lucas survived in my play through of ITLITW and my MC got turned into Mr Red (but that was before I really started posting properly on this blog so I didn’t post anything). But yeah, that’s it although I will say that if Pixelberry paywalls naming our baby in the next book I’m done with the series, sorry I’m still a little bitter about the pacing of the first book of TRH. (But I’m pretty they won’t do that as I’m sure if they did everyone would riot). Also ITLITW ended around the time that book 2 of Royal Romance did so I put the end of ITLITW during the events of book 2 of Royal Romance but before Constantine’s assassination as I finished ITLITW a while before TRR book 2. Anyway hope you enjoyed this fanfic! And I’ve got another one planned where MC finds a portrait of Percival Beaumont and points out that the genetics are so strong that he’s literally Maxwell with a beard! So look out for that!

[secret-kpoplibrary]

Whirlwind Pt. 9

Pairing: OT7 (Eventually) x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None really

Genre: fluff

Summary: You wouldn’t say your life is perfect, far from it in fact, but you make the best of it anyway. But a rapidly occurring series of events in your life results in a lot of changes. Some good, some bad. It’s hard to tell when it’ll end, but you find yourself meeting new people along the way that make you feel like you can tackle just about anything that comes you guys’ way.

***

You, Yoongi,and Jin are currently bustling around the kitchen while Kookie watches all of you with rapt attention, sat next to Joon contently reading the next book he picked from your library. It's Thanksgiving and you're preparing dinner. Yoongi and Jin insisted on helping you though so things are moving quite a bit faster than they would've if you were cooking yourself. The atmosphere is pleasant as you work, cracking jokes and laughing while Kookie finds ways to entertain himself and you guys. There's even music playing that he occasionally dances to. It's the first time in years you've celebrated a holiday and felt the togetherness this season is supposed to bring about. Amidst the laughter in the kitchen you hardly hear the doorbell ring till Namjoon points it out.

"I'll get it." You say wiping off your hands and heading to the door. "Mark!" You say wrapping your arms around him.

"Hey little sis." He smiles as he hugs you back.

"What are you doing here?" You ask as you let him inside.

"It's Thanksgiving lightening bug. I couldn't just not see you. Even if you aren't coming to mom and dad's for dinner." He shrugging as he slips off his shoes as to not track snow through your house.

"Oh! You have to meet my new house guests." You say leading him into the kitchen.

"New house guests?" He asks confused.

"Mark meet Jin, he's a sugar glider, and Namjoon, who's a wolf. Boys this is my older brother Mark." You smile.

"Hi Mark." Jin says turning around briefly before returning to the pot he's huddled over.

"Hello." Namjoon mutters, barely looking up from his book.

"There's a lot going on here." Mark says with an amused smile.

"I know! I was making a Thanksgiving dinner for the five of us and Jin came to help, then Yoongz came in, and then Kook because he was bored, and Joon because everyone else was here with me. They're so sweet." You laugh.

"This is the happiest I've seen you on Thanksgiving since you were like seven." He says.

"Well... that's because I'm surrounded by people that care about me. You showing up is certainly a bonus, but mom will be expecting you soon, you'll be late you know." You say noting the clock on the wall says half past three.

"Ah it's not the end of the world. I'll just say I got caught in traffic. She'll understand." He waves a hand dismissively.

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother who's never late?" You ask. He laughs.

"Seeing my little sister is an exception to the rule." He shrugs.

"Well if you just stopped to say hi, I'm happy to see you." You say.

"I'm happy to see you too. Especially since you're so lively today. It's refreshing."

"Shut up." You roll your eyes.

"I'm serious. You should definitely keep these guys around. They make you enjoy life the way you deserve to." He says.

"These guys aren't going anywhere any time soon Mark no worries. Seriously though you should get going before mom throws a fit." You tell him.

"Alright alright, I'll head out. Nice meeting you Jin, Namjoon, and nice seeing you again Yoongi and Jungkook." He says as you walk him out of the kitchen. The boys all call out their various sayonaras from the kitchen while he puts his shoes on. "What should I say when they undoubtedly ask me where you are?" He asks.

"Tell them I'm spending Thanksgiving elsewhere but that I send my regards or something." You shrug.

"And if they ask more questions? Like with who? Or where?"

"Tell them you don't know and they can ask me themselves. I will tell them as much as I want them to know myself if they bother to ask." You tell him. He sighs.

"It won't be the same without you." He tells you.

"Well at least you won't be spending the night trying to keep me and mom from getting into a fight this year. You can enjoy your food and family time in peace." You smile.

"Don't sliver lining this for me." He rolls his eyes.

"Well then get outta here and go to dinner. I don't want you to go in sulking because I won't be there to fight with mom. What sense does that make?" You chuckle. He shakes his head and pulls you into a hug.

"Take care of yourself y/n." He says.

"You too Mark. Drive safe. I'll talk to you later." You tell him. He walks back to his car and you wait for it to disappear around the corner before you shut the door and go back to the kitchen to finish cooking with your boys.

~

By the time you've finished making everything it's almost eight o'clock.

"Are we going to do that what we're thankful for thing before we eat?" Jin asks. The others turn to you expectantly.

"Um would you like to?" You ask. They all nod. "Then sure." You shrug.

"I'll start!" Jin says.

"Okay." You chuckle.

"I'm thankful for your grandmother, and for you, letting me stay here after she passed." He says.

"I'll go next." Namjoon says clearing his throat. "I'm thankful for your instinct to help those who need it, even if you could get hurt doing so. It saved me from getting beat up, maybe even killed." He says.

"My turn I guess." Yoongi says. "I'm thankful for all of you. I never really thought I wanted a big family. I was fine with just me and y/n, but ever since our family started growing... it's only gotten better." He says. You smile at that, glad he adjusted well to everyone.

"I'm thankful for Yoongi-hyung. He really helped me adjust to living with y/n before Jin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung got here." Jungkook says.

"I'm... thankful for having all of you in my life. My family isn't... perfect. No family is, but you guys... I feel so much better having all of you in my life. You're all so important to me." You smile.

"Well that was sweet and sentimental." Yoongi mutters. You roll your eyes.

"Alright everyone, dig in." You say. Everyone fills up their plates and starts eating. About halfway though Namjoon tugs on your sleeve. You turn to him in confusion and he leans in to whisper in your ear.

"I think someone's here." He says.

"What do you mean?" You ask back in the same hushed tone.

"I heard something walking around near the front door, they stopped but I can still hear their breathing." He says.

"I'll go check it out." You say with a nod. Namjoon can be really apprehensive whenever he hears unfamiliar sounds on the property. It's likely just some animal asleep on the patio swing out front. You throw on your jacket and boots before stepping out into the cold. There is indeed someone on your patio swing when you look towards it, but it's not a small animal like you thought. There's a person on your patio swing, sleeping in a hoodie. You walk over to them slowly.

"Excuse me." You say quietly trying to shake them awake gently. The person wakes with a start their hood falling back to reveal rounded striped orange ears. "Oh." You gasp as he growls at you.

"What do you want?" He says through his teeth.

"Well- you are sleeping on my patio swing. I was going to ask who you are and why you're sleeping out here on my swing in the cold but the ears mean you're a hybrid." You lean closer and he flinches slightly. "Oh my god, are you a tiger hybrid?" He looks visibly shocked.

"How did you-"

"I was studying to be a vet. I know animals well, but if you're a tiger you must be a lab escape. Tiger hybrids aren't domesticated for the market." You mutter. He squirms under your gaze. You step back. "I'm sorry, I'm probably freaking you out a bit. What's your name little Tiger?" You ask him.

"Taehyung." He says.

"Taehyung. That's a nice name. I'm y/n. Would you like to come inside? It's much warmer, plus we're eating. I'm sure you're hungry." You say.

"Thank you." He says following you inside.

"Oh yeah, I have other hybrids. I hope that's okay." You say as you lead him into the kitchen. "Hey guys we have a new guest. His name is Taehyung. Taehyung this is Jungkook, he's the youngest, then there's Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin's the oldest." You say.

"Where'd you find him?" Jungkook asks.

"He was sleeping on the patio swing." You say.

"Hi! It's nice to meet all of you." Taehyung smiles. Your eyes widen slightly as he sits next to Jungkook and immediately jumps into conversation with the others. How odd, you think, this hybrid snarled in your face less than five minutes ago and now he's all smiles and friendliness. You shake your head and join the others at the table to finish your own meal. After everyone's finished eating you all make quick work cleaning up everything. Even Taehyung helps as much as he can. Everyone kinda splits up after that. Jungkook drags Taehyung into the living room to teach him the magic of video games while Jin and Yoongi slink upstairs to go straight to sleep. Namjoon follows you into your study and sits in his usual saucer chair with his newest book while you do some work. The renovations to the building went into action as soon as you purchased it last week and everyone you've hired has been making exponential progress. At this rate you'll be able to open in before the end of February if nothing gets stalled. In an effort to keep the process moving you've been ordering things as you go so they're ready for installation as soon as the core renovations are complete. In just the past week the contractor you hired has had the walls painted, floor re-tiled, and the counter installed. It did help that you'd already gotten all those things in the week before you met with the previous owner to buy the property but still you find it hard to believe how quickly they got all of that done. Your currently looking for pendant light fixtures on home depot's website. Your plan is just to go buy them in store over the weekend if you find one you like so they can get started with the lighting come Monday or Tuesday.  It doesn't take you long to decide on cylindrical glass pendant lights. With all the other things you have to take care of it's only when the clock hits midnight that you finally cut off your computer deciding to continue the rest of your work later.

"Hey Joon, why don't you head up to bed yeah?" You say looking over at him. He's curled in the chair softly snoring and you almost don't have the heart to wake him. You gently shake him.

"What's going on?" He asks groggily.

"You fell asleep. Go on up to bed." You smile gently. He nods his head and stumbles out of your study. You follow behind him and find Jungkook and Taehyung still playing away in the living room.

"Boys?" You say to them.

"Oh hi y/n." Jungkook says pausing the game. Taehyung immediately stands up.

"It's getting late. You should both wrap it up and head up to bed soon."

"Wait what time is it?" Jungkook asks.

"Quarter past midnight."

"Oh shit. I didn't realize it was after midnight."

"Thank you for letting me join your thanksgiving dinner." Taehyung says quietly.

"No problem, we're kind of a collage of a family. We always welcome newcomers. Let's get you set up in one of the guest rooms upstairs okay?" You smile.

"Wait I- I can stay the night?" He looks at you surprised causing you to laugh.

"Oh you're adorable. Of course you can silly. If you'd like to that is." You say.

"I'd really appreciate it." He smiles.

"Kookie honey turn off the TV and let's get you both into bed." You say. Jungkook nods his head and quickly shuts off the TV before grabbing Taehyung's hand and following you upstairs. You smile to yourself at their apparent bond.

"Goodnight Taehyungie-hyung." Jungkook says before slipping into your room.

"Taehyungie?" You quirk your eyebrow at Taehyung who blushes slightly.

"He just kinda started calling me that while we were playing video games." He shrugs.

"It's cute. He really likes you." You chuckle.

"Ah- I... I guess." He mutters.

"If you need me my room is the one Kook went into, Yoongz also sleeps there most of the time. Joon and Jinnie share this room usually, we rotate a lot. You can take the room next to ours, across from them, is that fine?" You turn to him.

"Yeah that works." He nods. You open the door to the room and let him walk in.

"Would you like anything? Extra blankets? Warmer clothes? Water?" You ask him.

"No I-I'll be fine thank you." He smiles.

"Alright well goodnight then. Sleep well Taehyung." You say with a smile to match.

"Goodnight!" He calls to you in a whisper as you shut the door and go to your own room to snuggle between Yoongi and Jungkook.

"What is the new guy?" Yoongi whispers as soon as you lay down.

"Tae? He's a tiger." You reply quietly.

"Is he staying?"

"If he wants. Kookie really likes him."

"He's very friendly. Childlike in a sense."

"I know. It's so cute."

"Where is he sleeping?"

"Next room to ours."

"We're going to run out of guest rooms at this rate." Yoongi chuckles silently.

"That's a not a bad thing. At least the house won't ever feel empty." You joke.

"I know. I'm not complaining. Goodnight y/n."

"Goodnight Yoongi."

***

A/N: Sorry I haven’t uploaded this till now. I pre-wrote this entire story so it’s just editing and posting but I had lots to do this weekend, I moved back in on campus and had a competition to go to. I’ve just been mad busy, but I promise you will get all of the story soon enough

y’all I’m so tired lol

Part 9/???

tagged users: @twilight-loveer @xxqueenwxtchxx @nabo39 @yenne-yen-illustrations @serendipitiousbutterfly @wickedblue34 @stitchattacks

[douxreviews]

Cloak and Dagger - ‘Vikingtown Sound’ Review

"You have the face of a system that has done nothing but hold me and mine down."

Cloak and Dagger starts laying out some answers as season two heads into the home stretch.

But Ty's mom, though...

We got a few big reveals in this one, and yet none of them feel nearly as compelling as every single moment of Connors and Adina Johnson's discussion over dinner prep. That just shouldn't be possible.

Let's start with some talk about those revelations, because there's a lot to talk about and I don't want them to seem like an afterthought after I go on a good long rave about Gloria Reuben. Spoiler alert: I'm going to go on a good long rave about Gloria Reuben.

After a few notable teases of the mystery veve, most notably in all of the picture frames in Ty's family home inside Tandy's dreamworld last episode, we get the reveal of whose veve it is. It turns out to be one of those reveals that makes you think, 'I should have thought of that,' and yet is still a surprise. The answer, as is obvious in hindsight, is that it's Andre's veve. The twist here being that Andre himself didn't know that until now. That's a clever way to obfuscate the issue. Andre's lack of recognition of the symbol made it seem clear that it must belong to someone else, but of course who else would have caused it to be plastered all over the inside of the visions that Andre was causing Tandy to have. He just didn't know he was doing it.

So Andre is on the cusp of becoming a loa, and had no idea. That's an interesting development, and casts a whole new light on what he's been trying to accomplish this season. It turns out that so far all he's been after is to use the despair of kidnapped girls to make his migraine pain go away and didn't really have a bigger picture goal. Now we find out that the bigger picture had a larger goal for him.

Great use of Auntie Chantelle this week, as relates to this plotline. It made perfect logistic sense that Andre would find Chantelle in Ty's memories and immediately go to her to get some answers about this mysterious veve that he's finding everywhere. It was also satisfying that Chantelle was perfectly honest and straightforward with him, not even being ruffled by the abrupt transition into his 'record store.' Chantelle hasn't always been well used by the show, and it was nice to see her get some good material here. Particularly if she's really dead as the show seemed to indicate. It's hard to be certain; from what we saw it appears that Andre slowed her heart to a stop, trapping her spirit in her happiest memory. At least I think that's what happened, it leaned kind of heavily into visual metaphor, so it's hard to say.

That's not a flaw, buy the way. I'll take 'atmospheric, moving, and vaguely defined' over 'detailed and boring' any day of the week. And it was touching, if unsurprising, that her happiest memory was the birth of her niece Evita. The record seemed to be leading up to Chantelle giving her sister some bad news that she only specifies with 'No, not Evita...' I think we were finally just told why Evita was raised by her aunt. Goodbye Auntie Chantelle. We'll probably never get to learn where you got that 3-D printer now.

In other reveals, Tandy has finally arrived at the Viking Motel, final destination for the kidnapped girls. After weeks of speculation as to what could be going on there, it turns out to be the saddest and least surprising explanation. The girls are there to clean during the day and then get pimped out at night. Although the show is incredibly discreet and tasteful about how explicitly it states that second part. I think in this specific circumstances, that was the right call. There's certainly an argument to be made that if you're going to depict sex slavery that you have an obligation to make it as confrontationally blunt as possible in order to get across how horrific the issue really is. In this case, however, I think the decision to leave the johns as almost entirely faceless and the details of what was happening only implied was the right one because it allowed the focus to remain on the girls as the real victims of the situation. As I said, opinions may legitimately vary on that point.

One thing that didn't entirely gel this week was the way they were using the metaphor of 'losing all your hope' as the real chains that kept the girls in the motel and in slavery. I get what they were going for with that, but it gets muddy when they're also using hope as a real and tangible 'thing' that powers Tandy's light knives. And so the 'imprisoned by the absence of hope' metaphor works in the case of Del; that's absolutely what keeps her from being able to walk out the open door when it's offered to her. But that's absolutely not the case for Tandy. She's not held back by despair, she's held back by a big security guard who physically carries her back inside. They're playing the 'absence of hope' thing metaphorically in one case and literally in another, largely because that allows them to cancel Tandy's powers for a bit, and the two never really dovetail with one another. It's a minor point, but it bugged me a little bit. Not so much that I didn't grin like an idiot when the act of inspiring hope in Del caused Tandy to regrow her own hope, all of which was conveyed to the viewer by the simple device of shining a light on Olivia Holt from below at a key moment.

Meanwhile, Ty gets briefly sidetracked by a run in with Andre and appears to be going the route of despair, but is saved by Mayhem, still trapped in the dark dimension, simply changing the record being played in Andre's store. More, she saves him by using the 'Tandy's perfect life' record that we saw being played last week, which was just a really wonderful tie back to prop detail as metaphor, which is something this show really excels at.

OK, let's talk Adina Johnson and her hostage, Connors.

Everything about this series of scenes was brilliant. Well written, well acted, just note-perfect drama. From the way the dynamic is established with Adina setting the starting point for their discussion through to its resolution, this was raw and real and you could really just excise these scenes from the rest of the series entirely and do them as a one act play, because any outside info you need to understand what's happening is given to you quite naturally in the dialogue. Actually, could someone please do that?

Adina sets up an interesting dilemma for herself. She needs to determine if Ty's need to have Connors alive so that he can clear his name outweighs her need for him to pay for Billy's death. That is one hell of an ethical riddle, and addressing it through the preparation of food was a great conceit. When the meal is ready and Adina goes to the cupboard, it's absolutely crystal clear what we're waiting to be told and how we're going to be told it. If she takes out two plates, Connors lives. If she takes out one, Connors dies. It could not read clearer that that's the situation and it's never even hinted at in the dialogue. I'm not sure how much of that is good writing and how much of it is good directing, but it's amazing. I was on the edge of my seat over dinnerware.

Bits and Pieces:

-- I'm worried about how Evita is going to react to the events of this episode. Now I think of it, Evita has always been kind of a wild card.

-- It's a little odd how the records being played in Andre's dimension affect reality. For example, it was a great visual and really told the story well, but how exactly did playing 'Tandy's Perfect Life' pull a dozen child ballerinas into existence? Or the ambulances that get summoned later?

-- When Ty and Andre clasped hands, Andre read Ty, not a hint of the other way around. Is Andre stronger than Ty? Has he just had more practice? Is it because Ty's powers are so linked with Tandy's and she wasn't there? I'm curious.

-- I adore how little care Mayhem took in putting the records back after she played them.

-- Was Ty's collapse at the end because Mayhem trashed the record store? His dark dimension seemed to be bleeding out of him, and it was intercut with Mayhem trashing the place, so it feels like those are connected. Time will tell.

-- For a metaphorical despair catalog, the record store had a surprising amount of object permanence. Changes Mayhem made to it were still there when Andre came back, so it isn't just a visualization of a metaphor.

-- I didn't expect them to take down the trafficking ring this quickly. They must need to clear that plot out of the way to get to Andre's ascension. Only three episodes left.

-- Connors knows where the real Billy's body has been all this time. That makes them claiming to need 'extra evidence' a couple episodes back even more ridiculous. The actual body, with DNA matching Adina and Otis would probably have been pretty persuasive.

-- They're really building up Connors' off screen Uncle as a threat. I wonder if he's been cast yet. Will he be the villain in season three? Because we're going to get a season three... right?

-- It's a minor point, but Lea knows Tandy's mom. Melissa Bowen has been going to that same group. How is she not remotely worried about her?

-- The opening image of the missing girls flyer falling down and being taken away in a garbage truck was not subtle imagery.

Quotes:

Adina: "I’m in kind of a bind here. Stuck between two forces." Connors: "Good and Evil?" Adina: "Billy and Tyrone."

Del: "My dad was a hammer. My mom was a nail."

Connors: "I get a call from a resident, says that she saw a young man in a hoodie skulking about." Adina: "A young man, or a young black man?" Connors: "She used a different word."

Andre: "What does my symbol mean?" Chantelle: "I’m not so sure I’m keen on telling you that right now."

Chantelle: "If you can’t be merciful when you play god, what kind of god will you be when you ain’t playin’ no more?"

Another great episode, marred only slightly by a couple of small thematic metaphor things that felt a little bit unreconciled to me. Not nearly enough so to spoil the story, however.

Three and a half out of four place settings.

The 'next time' preview seemed to indicate that I was inadvertently right about something last week. That's always a nice feeling.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[lsgingasblog]

Of Happy Coincidences and Fated Connections Chapter 3

Act 3

A lot has happened and as always as is the norm recently Akko played a big part in it.

She couldn’t believe it.

She’s staring at familiar ceiling of the Cavendish manor. She’s on her bed.

Certainly the last few days or so have been awfully eventful.

Good news is that it would seem her aunt Daryl will at least try to maintain the Cavendish house before I can take over in the next Venusian eclipse hopefully.

Weird as it is despite how I was willing to toss luna nova and everything else away for the Cavendish house and I still have much pride in it, don’t mistake. I am happier that I get to go back to Luna Nova, to the teachers, my dorm, Hannah & Barbara, the library and the striving for knowledge, but I would be lying if didn’t admit that I’m glad to go back to Akko. I have to tell her soon about us having met briefly before in that chariot show.

However that brings more knots in my stomach.

It felt really nice having her pressed against me on the broom and having her hold my hand and earnestly support and believe in me made my heart soar. At first I would just chuck it up to the adrenaline, but if I’m totally frank there has always been something more, the way she affects me so is beyond anything I have ever felt.

Mom used to tease me after I told her about the story of meeting akko at the chariot show that she would be a very special person for me, she never specified the word friends in those scarce instances.

It wasn’t until just am hour ago that I managed to apparently unseal a hidden letter of my mom with a card identical to mine, but I still have mine in my drawer.

She was brief, I got teary-eyed when she started the letter by saying she is proud of me and loves me. I truly miss my mother.

She proceeds to tell me that the same card by the same old lady was giving to her moments before she met my dad. She says the card does not have to signify a romantic bond, but I shouldn’t reject it if it does lead to that and so mother goes on to tell the story she omitted when she told me how she and dad got together.

She apparently was bogged down with just having taken on the responsibilities of being the Cavendish head and had left luna nova a few months prior, not even having finished her 2nd year. She was antagonized by her rightfully bitter sister and she wasn’t particularly happy with this arrangement either. However responsibilities are something you cannot avoid.

My father’s courting was an inconvenience to her and she kept rejecting him at every chance but my dad persisted until a particularly horrible event occurred and they were put in a perilous situation. So months after my dad persisted my mom finally relented, realizing that living with my father would be too much to bear and both of them would try their best to make it work.

And work it did although it was only 6 short years they were one of the happiest years she had, barring when she was raising me of course.

She mentions in this letter- which by the date it seems was written a few months before her death- that she would love to meet this girl in the future, but since she can’t physically meet her in her state she will conform herself with giving her daughter a healthy piece of advice.

Every good relationship starts with a solid foundation of friendship so start with that instead and nurture it.

Don’t let this person go once Diana finds her and enjoy as much time as possible with her and most importantly be honest about her feelings, hiding them or putting duty above love should be considered but it’s not always the right action. Happiness is an extremely important feeling that someone has to feel, hopefully more often than not and being around a person that naturally gives you that feeling is worth keeping around.

She mentions how happy she was to have me in her life and thanks me for having been her daughter.

I start crying, it would seem there won’t ever be an end of letter mom has for me.

When I was 11 one year after her passing, she told anne to give me a letter that helped me a lot in coming to terms and accepting what had happened completely, time having made that easier of course, alongside the love and care the staff of Cavendish manor gave me.

When I was 14 or so Anne gave me a letter when I had decided to strictly only study things necessary to be a proper Cavendish, I felt guilty otherwise.

Anne gave me the letter of my mom telling me to pursue my desires and dreams, don’t leave them just dreams, instead turn them into reality. And so a few months after having finished up a few preparations and training I decided to enroll in Luna Nova.

And now this.

Personally I have to admit I am conflicted. Or perhaps denial and quite embarrassed as well. Getting love or friendship advice from a deceased mother feels surreal in a way.

My flustered state comes from the story of having decided to read the 5th story in the story book.

For the wonderful changing nature of relationships of one wild crab and a stubborn Taurus & the mingling of the old and new.

Aria the Crab & Denis the Taurus could not see eye to eye. This standoff has been going on ever since they were both young. Sometimes it’s for something silly, sometimes it got way over blown, but mostly it’s because the crab doesn’t care for the antiquates fashion in which Taurus does things and Taurus feels appalled at the lack of consideration that Crab has for tradition……..

And so from rivals a budding friendship emerged after a perilous obstacle made them overcome their differences and work together. Their seemingly clashing personalities actually ended up being perfect complements to each other and after the many fights against those that were searching for trouble and just being in each other’s presence they realized how alike they truly are and something more begin to form.

After much hesitation, misconceptions and finally fear of breaking this lovely friendship was overcome, something more lovely was given a chance to bloom. As unlikely as this pairing might seem to others, it all made sense once you get to know this couple, they were like two peas in a pod.

The signs of the flowing, ever moving water went perfect together after all with the unmovable and grounded earth signs.

Communication is key in any bond though, not only romantic ones and remember whether you have polar opposite views, intersection is almost always reachable as long as you care enough to open yourself to others, especially those who have earned your trust and respect.

Of course I had to say ‘this story is like akko and I’ and I’m not sure if it’s the feeling I said it with, but my mother’s letter appeared just then.

Honestly I wonder if Chariot could predict the future or something or if it’s just some crazy coincidence but I almost want to laugh at how applicable the darn passages of the story book has been to me.

I would love to ask professor Ursula if she knew about Akko and I, but I suppose she wants to keep it a secret for a reason, I can only hope she does it before akko finds out because that will be quite the surprise for akko, especially having had her idol teaching her the whole time.

To be fair I suppose part of not confronting her also has to do with having to come to term with not only completely embracing my past but reconciling professor Ursula with Chariot and I haven’t even had extra classes with her, I can only imagine the turmoil akko might feel.

There I go again thinking about her. I’m unsure whether I want to label these particular thoughts at least not yet and very much less tell her about any of this.

Besides now that I’m going back to school I have to make sure to ask Professor Ursula about Croix and the accumulation of energy I have been sensing. I’m getting anxious about it if I’m honest. Also I felt horrible for the state I left Hannah & Barbara in.

Which reminds me I hope they finished their potion successfully since it was a week-long one they were getting a bit antsy that it didn’t turn the appropriate color yet. Of course I proceeded to tell them the 4th story in the book about “The hotheaded Leo & Aries & their lesson in patience and earnestness”.

They were shocked that I was that open with them, of course I was getting sentimental because shortly after having given them encouragement I told them I had to leave luna nova. That was two days ago, the potion should be done by tomorrow.

My thought have been jumbled up. I stare at my clock and it reads 4 am. I have been too high on adrenaline ever since all of the trail thing has happened, having akko come help me was a pleasant surprise and riding the shiny volley with her was exhilarating. More than the action at self I wonder if it’s the person with me in those events that made it all so much more amplified.

I went from wanting to get away from Akko to not being able to imagine Luna Nova without her constant presence.

Which is the reason that while I don’t read the 4th story of Chariot’s story book, Believing Astral hearts all that often, mostly because my upbringing has long since thought me patience, it’s groomed in me, but I have to say matters concerning akko makes me impatient at times.

Case in point my prediction of akko leaving luna nova. Her coming here to bring me back isn’t it, because when it occurred she was covered in snow all around her, without any layer of clothes for protection and I admit that when I said she would leave luna nova I was surprised by the scene even more so I could swear it was my worried voice that announced ‘akko’ right before the vision ended.

This makes me want to go right there to that room and make sure akko is alright even though it’s only been a little less than 2 hours that I last saw her when we came back from the trail.

Goodness whatever this is, I have it bad.

I decide to go anyway because I wouldn’t be able to sleep being this restless, honestly the chaos of emotions this girl does do me.

Heading there I noticed someone standing in front of Akko’s door. Hesitating whether to knock or not.

Of course it would be him.

I could just let him go and knock or just turn around right now and forgot this venture completely.

Andrew spots me. Ahh I suppose one of them is ruled out. His eyes widen and he walks away briskly.

This is perfect now I can knock, but that’s not what I ended up doing.

I chased after Andrew. Why? I’m not sure if I’m honest. I do have an inkling but right now interrogating Andrew seems much more immediate.

I catch up enough to him he turns around, glares at me and I ask

“What were you doing so late at akko’s room door” I cut through the tension.

Andrew puts on a scowl and answers coldly “I could ask you the same thing Diana”.

“This is my house and I’m a girl Andrew, didn’t think you were deviant”

Andrew has a smug expression “I am not, but I didn’t think you were actually a deviant, I’m shocked”

What. This annoys me. This is ludicrous.

“Absolutely not” I answered bluntly back I will not let this jerk get to me.

Andrew smirks. That ass. No I have to wipe that expression off.

“You like akko in a romantic sense and you were going to confess”

Diana saw Andrew mildly recoil back but then his smirk was back. What.

“Were you Diana? Good for you”

Diana was flabbergasted. How dare he. When was he ever this cheeky. She wants cold, distant indifferent Andrew back, this was horrible.

“I was asking you! Answer the question and stop being so reflexive.”

Andrew’s smugness got even worse. I lost this bout after all having lost my composure.

“Not sure”

He proceeded to put his hands in his pijama bottoms, which is made of some expensive silk no doubt.

His smug expression is still there. What.

“Diana I confess I am rather enchanted with miss Kagari she’s quite entertaining after all-”

“She’s not a side show! You can’t even begin to comprehend what makes akko so enchanting and amazing Andrew!”

His smug expression is gone. Good. Wait is that a genuine smile. I prefer the smirk or smugness. Abort.

“Clearly Diana, you have known her for longer after all and she has come all the way from luna nova, mostly on foot to talk some sense into you. It for that reason I confess that any budding non-platonic feelings I might be feeling for miss Kagari it pales in comparison to whatever connection or bond you two possess.”

Andrew was awaiting my response but I was in shock. Akko did come all the way here, but that wonderful idiot would’ve done it for anyone she considered a friend or a rival in my case, so what makes it special. Also knew it jerk-face had feelings for her. I was just processing everything, but Andrew isn’t done yet.

“Diana while I believe akko would do it for anyone she holds dear whether romantic or not, she seems to have less than an amicable bond with you and yet she did it anyway-”

“She considers me her rival that is all”

Yes this feels best. My heart is bursting off my chest, this is just too much to take in one day and that excludes everything else that is occurring with Ursula’s hidden identity, whatever professor croix is planning and just luna nova studies in general. It’s all just too much.

“I see, I suppose you will be opting for denial then. Rest assured I will not be pursuing akko. However given akko’s nature and how amazing she is I see no reason to keep her waiting too long. I might rethink then to rescind my declaration of not pursuing her in a few months if you still haven’t made a move”

I glared at him. He won and he knows it.

“Good night Diana”

“Good night, Andrew”

I swear it’s a miracle if we ever really become friends, we’re barely civil in most cases.

I’m too flustered to visit akko now and I know that what Andrew said wasn’t untrue, it’s just I’m unsure if I’m ready to confront all of that yet.

As I let out a deep sigh, I brush my teeth once more and I put my story book in my drawer.

I finally decide to go to sleep. Until I heard a knock. If it’s Andrew I swear I will give that guy hell.

I swing the door open a little harder than necessary. I’m sure my face might’ve been cranky.

“Ahh…I’m sorry Diana going back to my room. Sorry for bugging you….” Akko with an old Pj of mine that looks absolutely adorable on her however she was just walking away when I grabbed her hand, perhaps a little more forceful than necessary. She winced. Ahh snap

“I’m sorry, no it’s not a problem, you just caught me by surprised me, come in”

After reassuring akko that it was fine we sat on the couch and she started talking about how amazing that felt, the trail, flying everything and she’s glad she got to know me more and how she’s excited to get all the words, but she wants them all already and it’s annoying having to wait to discover all and so I tell her the 4th story in the book. She’s completely enthralled she didn’t know it. Which I found odd since she said she owned every single chariot merchandise, which means mom was not kidding when she said this story book had limited and European only release and got recalled. Wonder what the story behind that would be.

We kept talking about school and everything and eventually we fell asleep on the coach next to each other while leaning on each other.

It is in this state that Anne found us way past the hour I was supposed to be awake and we quickly pulled apart, both of us having a visible flush in our faces.

We got ready I got the wonderful support of my staff and I was back to luna nova, this time with a passenger.

A very smug and cheeky passenger that completely teased me all the way through. So much so that I threatened to drop her. Although I never really would have. We made it in fairly good journey time at luna nova.

I get stormed with double hugs and crying faces of Hannah and Barbara. I missed them. Apparently my face is still flushed after the ride.

Personally I’m still unsure if my flushed face all the way through was because akko saw a vulnerable side I barely show to anyone or because it was just being in such close proximity of her that made my heart nearly jump out of my chest. Either way I was happy, oh so very happy. For now though I will follow my mother’s advice, building a strong foundation with friendship. Maybe one day our relationship will develop like the crab and the Taurus, but that’s for the future me to ponder. For now I’m content.

[rhina988]

To Have And To Hold, From This Day Forward

Since  Premiere Night ended with an engagement, I thought this Imagine would be a perfect sequel. That’s why we’re taking Jared and the Reader to Tuscany.

I hope you like it.

Enjoy! :)

Reader’s POV

A month after Jared popped the question we were finally in marvelous Italy. This country is a true jewel of Europe. I couldn’t decide which part of it I like best, but I can definitely say Tuscany is incredibly charming and mesmerizing. After a long search we decided to get married in a wedding villa in Chianti - a small but fabulous place in Tuscany. 

It could host up to 50 guests, which made me and Jared very happy. We were both up for an intimate wedding, with only the closest friends and family by our side. And this villa was just the right venue for us. Since we decided the smaller the wedding the better, I only invited my parents, a few closest friends and Jared did the same. His mom, Shannon, Tomo, and a few closest friends were there and we were ready to celebrate our love.

The day was absolutely amazing. Even though I’ve always dreamed of marrying in the spring, September was almost as magnificent. Especially in this part of Europe. The sun was shining, the leaves were still green, almost turning to yellow, and the weather couldn’t be more pleasant. It’s as if the nature wanted to celebrate along with us and gifted us this gorgeous day.

“Nervous”, my mom asked me as I was looking myself in the mirror wearing a robe. I was done with the hair and make-up, and all I had to do is dress up and go down the aisle.

“No. Just incredibly excited” I answered with the biggest, most sincere smile.

“I’m glad to hear that. It means he really is the one.” my mom said and stood behind me, looking at me in the mirror.

“He really is. I’ve never doubted that. And now I’m most certain than I’ve ever been before.” I said and closed my eyes as I was smiling like never before. This truly was the happiest day of my life.

“I’m so happy for you, Y/N.”

“I know mom, finally you got your wish to come true. Your little girl is getting married” I teased her a little. But I meant it, because ever since I turned 25 she kept asking me when I was going to get married, and give her grandchildren. 

“Oh honey, you are...”she sniffled and took a handkerchief to wipe of the tears.”Look what you did, I’m crying already.” she said and laughed through the tears. 

“Stop it or I’ll ruin my make-up, and there’s not enough time in the world to do it all over again” I warned her and she immediately pulled herself together. This was the happiest day of my life, and everything had to be flawless, so this was not the time to smudge the make-up.

“Sorry, I’m stopping.” she said and fixed her mascara a bit.

“Is dad ready?” I asked and started to pull off my robe when I heard a knock on the door, then I put it back up.

“Who is it” my mom asked and walked to the door.

“The best man” I heard a man’s voice, but that didn’t sound like Shannon.

My mom reached for the door and I ran to stop her from opening them “No” I whispered and grabbed her hand “It’s Jared” I said and rolled my eyes.

“What?” she whispered back at me.

“This is not Shannon’s voice. That little dork wants to see me before the wedding. I know him” I said and chuckled “Just follow my lead”

“What is it Shan?” I asked through the closed door.

“Can I come in?” he asked from the other side.

“No, I’m in my lingerie. What’s up?”  I said and smiled, putting my index finger on my lips indicating to mom she can’t laugh.

“I have a present for you... I mean, Jared sent you a present”

“I can’t wait, I’ll open” mom whispered and I pulled behind the door without having the chance to stop her.

She opened the door and I could only gasp “No mom....” then I was against the wall behind the door, so he couldn’t see me.

I heard mom gasp in admiration “Oh... they’re beautiful” she said and put her hand to her chest. She was absolutely enchanted by whatever she saw.

“What?” I whispered to her.

She pointed me with her hand to come out in front of the door.

“No, I can’t” I waved my head still whispering.

“Would you just...” she grabbed my arm ”... come here”  and pulled me towards the door.

He knew I would be upset if he saw me before the ceremony, so he just dropped the flowers when mom answered the door and left. 

My heart skipped a beat, as I took them of the floor. I smelled the roses and thought how much I love Jared. I was more than ready to be his wife.

“He’s the sweetest man on earth” my mom was so amazed by this gesture she started to tear up a little, again.

“Yes he is. And I can’t believe he picked me” I said and enjoyed the smell of roses.

“I can. He couldn’t have found the better women to marry” my mom said and hugged me.

“We should go. Is dad ready?” I asked and put the flowers on the sofa.

“He should be, I’ll go and check up on him, and you get dressed.”

“OK, I will” I started pulling off the robe.

“Can you zip the dress by yourself?” mom asked before she left.

“Yes, don’t worry. Just get dad.”

Now that she was out, I needed to text Jared before I put on the dress.

***The roses are beautiful. Thank you. I love you so much.***

He answered after a couple of seconds

---I’m glad you liked them. Love you too. I can’t wait to marry you---

I smiled when I read the text and put the phone away. It was time to dress up and exchange the vows. Wow, this was finally it. Me and Jared tying the knot. Suddenly everything looked so surreal. I couldn’t believe I was marrying the love of my life. We’ve been through so much, both as a couple and as individuals before we met, and now it was the time to connect our lives, destinies and futures to create one incredible life together. 

I got inside my dress, zipped it up and looked myself in the mirror fully prepared for the big day. 

Jared’s POV

“Bro, you’re not seriously going to her room, are you?” Shannon asked me with disbelief.

“Yes, Shannon I am. I have to take this to her. She won’t expect it, and I wanna make this day even more beautiful.” I said and looked at Shannon who gave me the weird look. Like this wasn’t already the most beautiful day of my and Y/N’s life.  “Well, at least surprise her more than she’d expect. Give me a break will you. I can’t help it.” I said and took the flowers heading to the door.

“Wait, how about I take them. You shouldn’t see Y/N before the ceremony. You do realize she’ll freak out when she opens the door and sees you looking at her” Shannon said and tried to make me stay.

“Don’t worry. She won’t open the door, because her mom’s with her. Plus, I’ll pretend I’m you and I won’t even peek. I just want to leave the flowers, and that’s it” I said and walked out of the door.

I had the necessity to do one more beautiful thing before we got married. We were only dating for a year, and I feel like I didn’t do enough romantic stuff with Y/N, so this was one last chance for us as fiancees to do something nice for each other. From the moment we say “I do” we’ll be starting an entire new chapter of our lives, and this would be the perfect ending to an engagement chapter. 

A couple of minutes later

“And? How did it go?” Shannon was inpatient to know what happened.

“Perfectly. Her mom saw me leaving the flowers, and everything went great. They were both so excited, I could hear them after they closed the door. I came back for a quick second to hear Y/N’s voice and she was amazed. God I love that smile and the way she chuckles when she’s surprised.” I said and smiled to myself thinking about all the times she was happy.

“Good. Now you can go and marry that amazing woman” Shannon came to me and fixed my tie a bit.  

I sighed in anticipation, looked myself in the mirror and hugged Shannon before we went outside.

We were finally standing outside ready to see the bride come down the aisle. I felt so great, and excited, I wanted to scream to everyone how happy I am. We were only minutes away from the beginning of the ceremony, but the time seemed to had stopped. The anticipation just kept rising. Finally, I heard the music, and it was time for my beautiful bride to come to me.

Reader’s POV

Knock, knock

“Who is it?”

“It’s me. Dad.”

“Come in.” I said and looked at him when he stepped inside the room. I was wearing my wedding dress and holding a bouquet, waiting to see his reaction.

“Oh, kiddo. You are so gorgeous.” dad said and opened his arms for me to hug him.

“Thanks Dad” I hugged him and pulled away so he could see me again. He was so moved by this event. I knew he was almost gonna cry, so I wanted us to go to the ceremony “Should we go?” 

“Khm... Yes, yes we should. Everybody’s ready” he cleared his throat , holding the tears back and we walked outside. I was holding my arm underneath his and we were about to step outside the villa into the yard, once the music started.  

Wow! That was it. The moment was finally here. My dad will take me down the aisle, and I’ll start living my fairy tale. This is the moment I’ve dreamed about since I was 5 years old, and at some point I have to admit I even gave up on love, and started having second thoughts about giving another man a chance ever again. Fortunately, Jared came to my life and everything changed.

The music started and we were finally walking down the aisle. As we were getting closer to the priest and my husband-to-be, my heart kept fluttering, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I could see Jared was completely enchanted by me and his eyes widened the moment he saw me approaching. He couldn’t take his eyes off me.

As I was finally by Jared’s side he smiled at me and whispered “You look beautiful”

I smiled and whispered back “Thank you. You look very handsome yourself” 

Then the priest began with the ceremony:

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Not to be entered into lightly, holy matrimony should be entered into solemnly and with reverence and honor. Into this holy agreement these two persons come together to be joined. If any person here can show cause why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace. 

At this moment Jared looked at the guests and raised his eyebrow, giving them “Don’t you dare say a word” look and then he smiled.

Marriage is a sacred union between husband and wife and shall remain unbroken. It is the basis of a stable and loving relationship and is a joining of two hearts, bodies and souls. The husband and wife are there to support one another and provide love and care in times of joy and times of adversity. 

We are all here today to witness the joining in wedded bliss of Jared and Y/N. This joyous day celebrates the commitment and love with which Jared and Y/N start their lives together. Through God, you are joined together in the most holy of bonds. 

Who gives this woman in holy matrimony to this man? ”

“Her mother and I do” my dad said with shaky voice. This moment was really emotional for him. And I could also hear mom sniffle, again. Tears were building up.

"Do you have your vows ready?”  he asked us, and Jared answered first.

“We do” Jared answered and started with his. 

Y/N, from the moment I met you I knew you were special and I knew you’re the one person that’s going to change my life forever. I didn’t know if you would even consider me worthy of your love, but I’m incredibly happy you did. You’re the only person who accepted me for all my virtues and flaws, and never tried to change any part of me. You’ve always accepted me for who I was and that’s just one of the reasons I love you. You make me happy every day, you’re the light in my dark, you’re the brightest start in the sky and you’re everything I ever wanted. I love you and promise to love you for the rest of my life.

“Thank you, Jared. Y/N, are you ready?”

Now it was my turn, and I felt so overwhelmed that I thought I was gonna mess everything up, until I started to speak. Then everything cleared and I spoke as if I was reading the vow from the card.

Jared, ever since we met I knew my life would never be the same again. I knew I could definitely not be the same person I once was. Before you came along, I had no idea what love, let alone what a true love is. You’ve showed me and taught me how to love, appreciate love and life, how to find happiness, joy and gratitude in everything that I do. You’ve always made me want to become a better person, and I would like to believe that today, I am the best possible version of myself. And it’s all because of you, and the love you’ve given me. Because if you hadn’t loved me the way you did, I wouldn’t have been able to feel the love and give it back to you. And this is what made me complete and happy beyond reasoning. Thank you for being the best man I’ve ever known, and thank you for choosing me to follow you through the rest of your life. I promise to love you for the rest of my life.

“Thank you Y/N. Now it’s time for the big question” he said.

“Do you, Jared take Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? To love, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live? “

“I do” Jared said proudly and my heart throbbed.

“Do you, Y/N take Jared to be your lawfully wedded husband and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? To love, comfort, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live? “

“I do” I said and felt my heart racing. This feeling was unbelievable. By far, the happiest moment of my life.

“Now, the rings please”  the minister said and reached for the rings that Shannon gave him.

“The wedding ring is an unbroken symbol of the everlasting love and commitment between man and wife. 

Repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.

“With this ring, I thee wed”. Jared said and placed a ring on my finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed”. I said and placed a ring on Jared’s finger.

“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. With the power vested in me by God and the state of Italy I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Then we kissed. This was the most magical moment in my entire life. I was in heaven. It was exactly the way I envisioned it so many years ago. The man of my life standing next to me, and all of our friends and family witnessing this happy moment. I wouldn’t ask for anything more than this. I was the happiest woman in the world with the man I loved more than life. 

Everybody started to applaud and come to congratulate us. First was my dad and my mom, and Shannon and Constance came to Jared. My mom hugged me and couldn’t she stop the tears. Dad tried to calm her down, but it was all in vain, since I could even see him tear up a bit. Then he came to Jared, shook his hand and hugged him.

“Take good care of my precious kiddo. You’re responsible for her now, so good luck” my dad was trying to be funny, but the emotions took the best of him.

“I will, sir. Don’t you worry a thing” Jared said and pulled me closer to him, kissing my cheek, which made me tingle.

“Oh my sweet little princess...” my mom tried to speak with all the tears “Congratulations, and don’t forget to take care of Jared as well. You both have to be there for each other.” she said and wiped of tears, trying to pull herself together “I wish you all the luck in the world”

It was time for the reception, and we were finally able to enjoy this happy day with the people that mean most to us. The music started so Jared and I had to share our first dance as husband and wife.

“I’d say you’re having a good time, aren’t you” Jared teased me as we were slow dancing, because he saw I’m not gonna get the smile off my face for at least a week.

“You could say I am” I said and tilted my head, still smiling “And you?”

“As long as I’m with you, I couldn’t be having any better time than that” he said and kissed me.

“You have no idea how happy I am” I said and hugged him “I can’t wait to explore all the wonders of our life together, and build our future together.”

“And it all starts right here. The next month, you, me Italy and the best honeymoon in the world” Jared said and kissed me again. 

“I can’t wait. But, everything seems so good that I’m a bit scared I’ll wake up and realize this is all just a dream” I said and sighed.

“It’s not a dream, you silly. It’s the best reality I could’ve ever imagined, with the most kind, beautiful and amazing woman I’ve met in my entire life. I love you so much”.

“I love you too.” I said, smiled and hugged him as we continued to dance.

No, it wasn’t a dream. It was the most beautiful reality and I felt like the luckiest person alive. I was so grateful for having Jared in my life, and I would do anything to make our marriage the happiest one ever. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us. 

We were dancing, mingling and then it was time for the best man to say the toast. Shannon had everything prepared and couldn’t wait for his time to speak.

“It’s my greatest pleasure and satisfaction to say a couple of words at this joyous occasion, about this wonderful couple. First, I’d like to say Congratulations to my new sister, Y/N and I’d also like to say Good luck to her as well, because Y/N, you have no idea who you’re gonna have to put up with” Shannon waved his head and laughed. All the guests laughed as well including me and Jared. Shannon was just being Shannon “And Jared, as far as you’re concerned, I have no idea how you got to be so lucky to snatch this amazing woman, but I’m happy you did, because it was about time that somebody else started taking care of you” Shannon laughed again and everybody else did the same. “All jokes aside, Jared, Y/N, I couldn’t be happier about the two of you. I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope you’ll have an amazing life together, as well as a bunch of little Jareds and Y/Ns, because I’d love to be an uncle. And soon” he said and raised his eyebrow which made us a bit embarrassed “Cheers, everybody”

Well, this was definitely the funniest moment we’ll remember forever. I loved how Shannon always loved to make jokes and every moment with him was so much fun. I’m so glad Jared had him by his side his entire life, and I’m even more glad our kids will have such an amzing uncle.

The day came to an end, and it was time for us to say goodbye to the guests and get back to reality. The happiest day of our lives were coming to an end, but we were at the beginning of the new life that we couldn’t wait to spend together.

I hope you enjoyed it. :)

Feel free to comment and leave feedback.

Much love.

[chiefbeck]

Chapter 41: Ryland’s Letter

This is a letter that my friends wrote:

Dear Friends and Family,

!This is an incredibly difficult letter to write. As you all know, Ryland was a late talker due to her Deaf diagnosis at 13 months old. But, from the moment Ryland could hear and speak -- at around 20 months of age -- she would scream, “I am a boy!” until she would break down into tears. We thought it was a little odd, but we laughed it off. We also thought it to be simply a phase, but this behavior has continued and strengthened over time. Our concern has led Jeff and I to seek help from numerous professionals and countless resources to help us discover the root of Ryland’s consistent expression as a boy. Many of you have seen them, and there are certainly more examples than I can write, but a few the instances that stood out are: !

Hiding in Jeff’s closet so she could put his clothes on while making me promise not to tell anyone that she was a boy. Her shame was very unsettling at such a young age!

Temper tantrums starting at age 2, whenever we made Ryland wear dresses, skirts, or female Halloween costumes. We initially thought this was her being a spoiled brat, but later realized it was more about the pain of looking like a girl than Ryland being a defiant child.

Self-portraits are always male. Only desiring typically male toys and colors. Refusing to wear girls’ bathing suits beginning at age 2.

Wanting to wear no shirt.

Trying to stand up to urinate on multiple occasions.

Desiring and hiding in order to wear boys’ underpants (she had an accident and borrowed a pair of boys underwear at a friend’s house).

Purposefully ripping her girl hat she made at school, so she didn’t have to wear it.

Not wanting to go to fun events if she had to be a girl (in dress).

Obsessing over and questioning gender in strangers that have gender neutral looks.

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Always choosing to be the “dad” when playing house with friends.

•

!Though these may seem trivial to some, the turning point came this last December when Ryland saw the return address labels I personalized for our family Christmas card. Ryland burst into tears when she saw that her personalized character had long, blond hair. She began crying, “Mom, how could you make me look like that?! You gave me long hair and made me look like a girl!” I didn’t know how to respond. She continued to cry that night in bed and through the tears and a quivering lip she said to me, “Mom, when our family dies, I will cut my hair so I can be

a boy.” Ryland obviously did not want to disappoint us by transitioning to a boy while we (her family) were still alive. It made my heart break to think that Ryland would think she had to wait until we died to be who she really felt she was inside! The next day continued with sadness when she said, “Why did God make me this way? Why didn’t He make me a boy?” Again, I didn’t know how to answer my baby, but I knew I couldn’t hide this pain anymore.

As mentioned above, I began reading books, watching documentaries, contacting multiple agencies and sought as many professionals as I could find. Jeff and I have met with the leading specialists and doctors, attended support groups, talked to families with similar stories and researched as much as possible. We have determined that Ryland is a transgender child. Although Ryland was physically born with female anatomy, her brain is that of a boy.

Jeff and I will be the first to admit that we struggle with it sometimes– not because we are ashamed of him in any way but because it makes us worry for his safety: we stick out; people stare and comment. The natural instinct is to blend in; no one likes to be the one everyone is whispering about! We are constantly having to weigh the importance of validating Ryland’s feelings about who he is (that is, not stifling his need to do boy things) and doing everything possible to make sure that he doesn’t begin to think there is something “wrong” with him. As parents of a transgender child, it’s frightening to know that there is only so much we can do to protect Ryland’s self-esteem from a sometime harsh and demonizing world. What we do know, however, is that living in secrecy and shame is not good for any of us.

We are providing this letter because, if it were you having issues in your family that were as important as this, we would want to understand what those issues were and be able to be informed and supportive. Along those lines, there is a lot more information out there about gender variance than I have summarized here and if you are interested we are happy to share. Below, there are a couple resources that you might find of interest and we can certainly share other resources if you desire to read more.

We know that if we had said nothing at all, you would accept and love Ryland just as he is. Now that we have said something, I also know that you will choose to either support or not support our decision to let Ryland live as a boy. This means we are listening to Ryland’s request to present as a boy in appearance and to be referred to as he/him. If you DO decide to support us, please also support our decision to let Ryland express himself freely, decide what to wear, and present to the world as he chooses. We expect that you will love, play, discipline and enjoy him in every way possible, and encourage him to be the happiest and best person he is capable of being. He should not get any extra slack for being different – he needs to learn from each of you how to behave like a good person and that is what we hope you will teach him.

These are the things we try to do to support Ryland, and to help him build a strong character and sense of self: We hope you, our family and friends, will help us in doing everything possible to see that he aspires to great things. For now, we just want our home and our friends’ and families’ homes to be his “safe” places where he can be himself. To that end, we!ask you to:

Love him for who he is

Validate him – whenever it comes up or there is conversation, let him know that you know it to be true that there is more than one way to be a boy or a girl, that you imagine it is hard that some kids don’t get how you feel, etc.

Encourage his individuality (you look handsome in that suit) and avoid stereotypical comments

Acknowledge and celebrate difference – he is different and knows it and there is nothing to be ashamed of – when he wants to talk about it, talk about it; give examples of how you are different or how being different can be great!

Try and deal with your own judgments – recognize your own internal issues about gender and how they play in to your feelings about Ry.

Be Ryland’s advocate – if you are with him in a situation where something is awkward – someone is teasing or judgmental – speak up for him, and help him speak up for himself

No victim blaming –– Ryland is not responsible for other people’s intolerance – neither he nor we, his family/friends, have to ‘accept’ that people are going to be judgmental; nor does he/we have to constantly be hiding who he is in order to fit in. When people tease, bully or are intolerant, they are the ones at fault. Not Ryland.

Think about acceptance in other things that you do – making the world OK for Ryland means we all have to work on squashing eons of ingrained stereotypes; think of ways to line up or sort people other than “boys in one line, girls in another.” Advocate for others who are different and struggling. Examine the world around you and step up/speak out when someone is treated unfairly or unjustly because they are not like you and don’t blend

!in.

You also must know that if you choose to not support our decision, please don’t expect our relationship to grow from here. Our child’s happiness is most important to us. 


We are sure that this may be confusing for some of you. It certainly was for us at the beginning and caused us many tears and sleepless nights. What we have learned, however, is that most children realize their “true gender” between 3 to 5 years of age. This has been the case with many families we have met on similar journeys with their children. We have also learned that our child’s transgender identity is not

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a result of our parenting style, family structure, or environmental factors and that there is nothing anyone can do to change a child’s gender identity. This is not just a phase for Ryland or something that he will outgrow. All of the research has shown that therapeutic attempts to change the child into an acceptance of the born gender are both unsuccessful and detrimental to the child’s mental health. Simple fixes, such as removing all of the male clothing and toys and forcing Ryland into living as a girl, were both examined and found to be full of more harm than good.

Our goals for Ryland are the same as when we brought him home from the hospital: to be happy, feel good about himself, to find what he is good at, and to know that he is loved unconditionally. These goals have not changed now that we recognize Ryland’s gender identity. We are aware of the uphill journey ahead for our now son, and for our entire family, but the alternative of denying who he is puts him at a high risk of depression, anxiety, sexual acting out, substance abuse, and suicide. These are not options for us. Studies have shown that transgender people who have been raised without support for their gender identity have an attempted suicide rate of 41%, while the national average is 1.9%. We will not choose to be unsupportive of our son and hope that he will not fall into the 41%. We will do anything in our power to make sure he is part of the 59% that never attempts to take his own life. Our love and support for Ryland is complete. We hope yours will be too, since family and friends are so important to us and will be to Ryland as he goes through this transition. He needs to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he is loved as a boy, just as he was as a girl.

If you would like to learn more about gender non-conforming or transgender children, some recommended books are “The Transgender Child” by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper, and “Gender Born, Gender Made – Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children” by Dr. Diane Ehrensaft. We have also found the website Gender Spectrum very helpful: http://www.genderspectrum.org/

!Additionally, I highly recommend the documentary, “Trans,” which you can borrow from us or purchase at http://www.transthemovie.com/.

We realize this is an incredibly long message, but the topic deserved an in-depth explanation for many reasons, the least of which is that we value and love you, in the same way we want you to value and love Ryland. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, Ryland ’s gender variance is just one of many attributes, one that will certainly challenge us, but teach us in ways we can only imagine right now. We are so lucky to have two, healthy and happy kids. Relative to the horrific things that other people have to endure with their children all over the world, this is nothing.

!Love, !Hillary & Jeff