#-THE AREA SO NOW I HAVE TO OPEN IT AGAIN. my idiot self couldn’t just take what was given to it huh

[many-gay-magpies]

somebody needs to come play sky with me

[techtalksfics]

Headcanons - Shy S/O

Author's Note: This was another anonymous request, it was non-specific so I ran with it. Prompt 61: A Shy S/O. Hope it's okay!

Wrecker

How did you meet? Over a shared love of Mantell Mix. You’d seen him at the stall several times. He was somewhat hard to miss, due to his size, even when he was on his knees sharing with Omega. You’d overheard Cid’s name mentioned so you figured if you hung out at the parlour enough, you may run into him eventually.

Who approached who? He approaches you. He’d seen you staring and at first, he was self-conscious. Assumed you didn’t like clones or the way he looked. But after speaking to Hunter, it became clear that you were interested…just shy. You introduced yourself and that was that. He may have been a little less nervous than you, but he could feel his heart hammer in his chest as he got closer to you. . His introduction was far from perfect, he scratched his neck and sort of mumbled out “uh – hi, Wrecker,” his eyes went wide, “my name is Wrecker.” Smooth. Real Smooth. When he spoke to you, you blushed immediately and stumbled over your words. He realised just how shy you were, so he may have overcompensated a little bit. More than a little bit. He talked a lot, he laughed louder than normal, and he made the first move for a date, for a kiss, for more.

Do they talk about the shyness? After your first kiss, you’d panicked and tried to run away but he simply followed you. When he finally got you to talk and, believe me, it was a struggle, you simply told him, “I guess I…you just make me nervous.” He gave you a look as if to say no shit. He placed his hand on your cheek, but the sheer size made it cover you face and that made you giggle. He giggled along with you. “You don’t need to be nervous with me. I’m just some big,” he kissed you, “idiot. But if you are nervous, that’s – uh – okay too. I like you, for you. Nerves and all.”

Hunter

How did you meet? Hunter had gone for a walk, just to get some space, some peace and quiet in his mind. They were on some distant planet and once again, Tech and Echo needed to repair the ship. He’d sighed at that. They couldn’t seem to go anywhere without damaging their home. What he hadn’t told the others is that he just needed some time to himself, and he had wanted to try this ‘meditation’ thing Omega had been going on about. He’d settled himself in a secluded area and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breath.

Who approached who? Now normally, you would never approach a stranger, but he was sitting next to a pretty potent and poisonous plant and you worried that with wrong move, he’d find himself in a lot of trouble. You tried clearing your throat, but it was so quiet, you were certain he hadn’t heard you. Come on, you can do this, you thought, gearing yourself up. What you didn’t know is that he knew you were there, but he just did not want to open his eyes. He’d been peaceful… until you cleared your thought. “Um, excuse me,” you mumbled barely above a whisper, “I…I just thought you oughta know that plant is pr-pretty dangerous.” With that his eyes whipped open and he saw you. You were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen even with the crimson dusting on your cheeks and the nervous twitch of your hand.

Do they talk about the shyness? Yes, definitely. He’d probably notice your nervous twitches, the way you bite your nails, the way your heart races and unfortunately, the man has heightened senses so can smell the nervous sweat as it pours from you. Before he could pursue you, with a clear conscience at least, he had to discuss it with you. You talked for a long time, about trauma and just the way certain situations made you feel. Explaining that’s why you came to the middle of nowhere, why you lived the life you did, and he seemed to understand. When he eventually took your hand in his, he affirmed “there’s nothing wrong with being shy, there’s nothing wrong with being cautious. That smart head of yours just understands that there’s a balance of good and bad in this world.”

Tech

How did you meet?  You did some repair work for Cid when she wasn’t able to do it herself. You were quiet, cheap and didn’t ask too many questions, particularly about her newly acquired clone friends. But you didn’t ask for fear of introduction. You were often around when mission briefs were happening, either fixing something of Cid’s or completing contracted repair work which Cid let you do in her parlour. She said you needed the company – she was probably not wrong.

Who approached who? Tech would approach you, though not that you hadn’t tried on several occasions. But on those occasions where you’d tried, he’d be working on something, and you thought perhaps you could help. You’d walk towards him with purpose and then divert away before actually reaching him. He’d noticed. Of course, he had. He couldn’t understand why you couldn’t simply talk to him. In his eyes, you had much in common and he had admired your work ethic from afar. It wasn’t until after he realised that you were distracting his otherwise streamline thoughts that he approached you, asking some innocuous question about your work. He already knew the answer, but he thought it might make it easier for you to speak to him. He knew you were shy, and he had been right. Talking about your mutual love of tech kickstarted a beautiful friendship and when the time eventually came, a beautiful romance.

Do they talk about the shyness? Yes, but not really in the way the others would discuss it. It would more be a case of fascination. A fascination with how he made you feel shyer than his brothers, about the things that trigger anxiety, about how your body feels, what your brain experiences. Almost like a scientific experiment. When you finally asked him about it, as you sat next to him in the cockpit, you asked why he was so fascinated. “I am fascinated,” Tech choked on his voice for a moment, “but only in so far as I have learned that talking helps with shyness and anxiety or panic attacks. I hoped the talking may ease your worry.” Tech was helping you strategically – the best way he knew how.

Crosshair

How did you meet?  You were a medic for the Empire, though not really by choice. You’d sort of inherited the role from your work with the Republic but after the fall of the jedi, your safest option was the Empire, as much as you hated it. You were a steady medic and often had ingenious ideas. But people were not really your thing. You were far worse around a certain silver-haired clone than you were any of the regs. He seemed tired and lonely – feelings to which you could relate. Not that you’d tell him. You could barely string to words together in his company.

Who approached who? Approached may not be applicable in this introduction. He was injured and you were the medic on call. Although he made the effort to get you talking. “You don’t talk much, huh?” Was all he could think of to ask you. It’s not like you’d given him much to go on. Blushing pink, you mumbled, “unless you want an update on minor injuries, I don’t have much of interest to say.” He smirked at that. So, there was little bit of fire in your belly and that’s when he realised, you really were just shy. Fiery but shy. A combination he liked in a woman.

Do they talk about the shyness? Your relationship with Crosshair didn’t rely a great deal on talking, particularly in the early days. Every once and while, he’d nip at your earlobe and whisper things like, “who knew such a shy girl could be so dirty.” Or he’d joke that it’s always the quiet ones. But, as your connection deepened, it drifted into deeper thoughts, he wanted to know why someone as capable as you could be as shy are you are. You’d be vague, call it a rough childhood, bad family, hard times, whatever worked. Given more and more time, you’d become more and more specific and he cherished that, though he’d never admit that out loud.

Echo

How did you meet? Rex introduced you. A rebel fighting the cause, alongside the clones. You’d fought with clones throughout the wars, and you weren’t giving up now. The introduction was so very vague. Rex had given a sigh and a little shrug, he pointed at you and said your name and your rank and then pointed at Echo, spoke his name for your benefit and announced as a member of “Clone Force 99”. That piqued your interest. All you could muster after the lacklustre introduction, was a small ‘hi’ and a little wave. Well, truthfully, everything about him had piqued your interest. You’d watched from afar as Rex had walked through the room with his arm around the new clone and you’d continued to watch discretely. But that’s all you ever did…watch.

Who approached who? This one’s tough for Echo and it’s tough for you. You’re both incredibly shy, particularly when attracted to someone, but you both have a lot of questions you wanted to ask each other. Rex could spot the interest a mile off. He sighed at you attempting communication – hopeless. So, Rex had sat you both down for a makeshift dinner and almost forced you into communicating with one another. Once the conversation began to flow and the whole thing became less painful for Rex to watch, you became inseparable.

Do they talk about the shyness? You both eventually discuss your fears and insecurities with one another. Your biggest self-deprecating thought was how incredibly shy and introverted you were. He pointed out that so was he, but you still liked him. Luckily for you, he had no idea just how much you liked him. It would’ve been inappropriate at a time like this. One evening as you sat together watching the sunset, he turned his head to you and simply said, “you are fierce, and wise, and capable. Your shyness is just one part of you and I… I like every part of you.” You didn’t know your whole face could flush so much, so quickly.

[words-into-worlds]

It was bright in here. He hadn’t expected that. The big hall had been softly-lit and enormous, with light coming in through slits in the ceiling and dimness almost everywhere else, but here, in the detention section—

—down the stairs, struggling against the arm of the guard until he’d almost slipped out of his hold and then another guard had grabbed him, two Cardassians to hold one Augment, and they’d pulled him along the hallway (his feet scrabbling on the stone floor) and through a door and he’d been thrown into a cell, forcefield flashing into red life behind him, a small bench to sit on, a small fresher, completely exposed and no way out—

Here it was very, very bright.

Probably to be uncomfortable, he imagined. The guards had put on small red visors. It was probably blinding to them. To him it was just irritating. So that was something. Take that, Cardassian jail. You won’t defeat me that easily.

He found he was sitting down, leaning forward, and very suddenly had to suppress a powerful urge to be sick.

My own fault. All of it, my own fault.

It had seemed so simple, once he was off the Hamalki ship: make himself presentable, go to the Central Plaza, find Garak, and fix things - one way or another. And it had been. He’d tidied himself up quickly in a small washroom in the spaceport. He’d force-fed himself something from what was probably a fast-food restaurant; it had been unrecognizable and mostly tasteless. He’d rented a small orienter from a self-service stall. It had only taken one train ride and a short walk to reach the Central Plaza. There hadn’t even been restrictions on entry at the Plaza, at least not to reach the first few government-related levels, and that was all he’d needed anyway.

As he’d walked into the hall, he’d been furious: at Garak, yes, but also at himself, because after all this worrying and self-recrimination and what-if, all he’d had to do was get here and it had been so easy—

He stared at the poured-plascrete floor of the cell, forehead rested on his hands, arms braced on his knees. Right. Easy.

One of the guards had left, no doubt off to harass other idiots. The other had seated themself at a terminal that faced the cells and begun working away at God-knew-what. They didn’t seem very interested in Julian. That was probably a good thing. It didn’t seem likely that it was good to be interesting in Cardassian jail.

Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. The horrible spaceport food had been bad going down; he couldn’t imagine it would be better coming up. Oh, God. What an embarrassment I am…

He curled into himself, adrenaline and lack of sleep catching up with him.

Time passed. The guard pecked away at their terminal, occasionally making and taking calls. The lights stayed bright. Julian eventually settled himself on the little bench and tried to rest, letting his eyes slip shut. He couldn't sleep, but he managed to drift a little, and the noises of the holding area floated by him mostly unnoticed: doors opening and closing, the steps of people in other cells, someone's fresher activating, the guard murmuring…

He snapped to wakefulness, eyes opening, when he heard the click of heeled shoes, and a voice he had not expected to hear again—

"Good day, Guard."

"Secretary," replied the guard politely, also sounding a bit surprised; Secretary Nuril was not apparently someone who spent a lot of time in the basement dungeons. "Can I help you?"

"I need to talk to that one," and she was pointing at him. "Alone."

More surprise in the guard's voice now. "Secretary?"

"The discussion will be above your clearance, Guard. I wouldn't want you to compromise your opportunities by accidentally overhearing it."

The guard was frowning. "It's not safe for you to be alone with a prisoner, Secretary—"

"Unless you have Indigo-clearance personnel tucked away around here somewhere, I don't see much of an alternative. Do you?" Nuril's voice was quite complacent.

"I won't do anything," said Julian, knowing he shouldn't talk and for some reason not being able to not do it anyway. "I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to talk to—"

Nuril wheeled on one heel, staring at him, and he shut up.

The compromise the guard arranged was a small interrogation room just off the cells, with Julian in a very uncomfortable chair and Nuril staring down at him across a small table, and the guard bowing themself out with repeated assurances that they would be observed - yes, Secretary, with sound off, yes, understood…

Julian looked up at Nuril, who glared down at him—

And closed her eyes, and sighed, and dropped herself into the interrogator's chair with a put-upon hand over her eyes. She had long red nails, Julian noticed. Claws, really.

"Secretary, I—"

"Shut. Up." She sighed an elongated sigh and dug into a little purse slung at her side, pulled out a small drawstring pouch, and tipped out something round and reddish into her hand. She took it between thumb and forefinger, claws clicking, and stared at it meditatively.

"Do you know what this is, Lieutenant?"

Um. "No. Should I?"

She ignored him. "This is a kobel nut."

"It looks very—"

"It's sweet. It melts in your mouth. It calms you down. It's not refined to suck kobel, but it's hard to stop, because it's addictive. I've been trying to quit."  She frowned. "The brand I like best is Golet. Their kobel comes in a variety of flavours. My favourite is baked-lafa. This one is mulvan. Not as good, but I don't have any of the ones I like with me, because I haven't bought any, because through force of will I actually haven't sucked kobel in three weeks."

Staring at him, furious, she popped the nut into her mouth and sucked at it loudly, then rolled it into her cheek. She pointed at its bulge and said indistinctly, "This is your fault."

[imagineanime2022]

Gamer Teammate

Osamu Dazai X Reader, Nakahara Chuya X Reader, Ryunosuke Akutagawa X Reader, Nakajima Atsushi X Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Original Request

Warning: Gore, Horror, FNAF (I know there are people who don't like this game)

Part 2 (Ranpo, Poe, Mori, Akiko)

Osamu Dazai

🩹 Dazai is about as checked out of this fight as you are and is likely hanging over your shoulder watching you play whatever game you're playing while Kunikida tries to make sure no one ends up dead. 🩹 He’s not stupid enough to underestimate you, he knows that the reason that you're in the ADA is because you had a talent that put you there. 🩹 He honestly didn’t mind your laid back personality even a little bit. He could rely on you to be in the same mood he was and guaranteed to agree with whatever he said because you weren’t listening. 🩹 The first time that he had seen your ability in use was the moment that he became completely enamoured by you, he wanted to be on every mission you were, it wasn’t just your ability that fascinated him, it was the personality change that came with it.

The fight was not going well, the mafia had managed to get the drop on you, Dazai and Kunikida, the later of the three seeming to be in a lot of trouble they were starting to get overwhelmed with the number of enemies but what really set you off was the man that came up behind you and pressed the gun to the back of you skull don’t move. “Game start.” You said softly. “What did you just say?” He asked as the world around them changed and everyone found themselves in the open area of an old pizzeria, there was rhythmic thumping that they realised too late was footsteps, the 6 foot brown bear that came from the shadows caused panic as you turned to face the mafia member closest to you.

Kunikida eased up in his stance, now taking a step back in favour of letting the 6 foot bunny have his fun “Kunikida what is going on?” Dazai asked. “This is her ability.” Kunikida said as he pointed to where you were standing facing one of the members. “What is she doing?” Dazai asked. “Probably taunting him, there’s always one.” Kunikida sighed. Dazai frowned before making his way over to you. “All you have to do is shoot me, then everything stops.” You smirked as you leaned into the muzzle of the gun, the man in front of you was shaking as he watched other members get torn apart or stuffed into the stomachs of the various animals around the room. “Come on pull the trigger he’ll be here soon.” “What? Who?” He asked. “Foxy comes out to play when no ones watching him.” You smirked as the hook pushed straight through his stomach. “I warned you.” Foxy threw the body to the side, bowing his head for you and stepping around you to get rid of the rest of them. “They answer to you?” Dazai asked. “While I’m here they follow my instructions, verbal or not as long as it would be within their programmed behaviours.” You explained you glanced back at the carnage that was created “let's get out of here, Game over.” The world brightened and for a second your eyes couldn’t focus before you were finally back at the docks where you had started. “We’re back in the real world?” Dazai asked. “Mhm.” You hummed back to your normal self with your face on your phone as you played the game that you had just been inside of. Dazai glanced over at Kunikida who walked over and started guiding you back towards the car, he wanted to see that again.

Nakahara Chuya

🍷 Chuya honestly thought that you were really creepy and was under the impression that you were only part of the mafia because you knew someone. 🍷 He had never seen you fight so he was convinced that you couldn’t despite the fact that you were an executive, you never added anything to any conversation and you never put your phone down. 🍷 He had never been on a mission with you and he never wanted to but of course, the world wasn’t on his side. 🍷 There were a bunch of idiots making trouble in what was supposed to be your area to control and Chuya was sent to help you.

“Are you going to do something?” Chuya asked. “Do you really need my help?” You asked as you glanced up from the game for a second before looking back down again. “Yes!” Chuya yelled. “Fine… Game start.” You said and the world shimmered and changed until you were standing in a pizzeria, it looked like a more modern restaurant with chequered floors and long hallways. “What the hell is going on!?” Chuya asked. “You asked for help… I’m helping.” You answered from your place sitting on the security desk. “Oh yeah a scenery change is just what I needed.” Chuya said before noticing the shadow over the guys that you were supposed to be fighting, the mangled fox animatronic leant down from the ceiling grabbing one of them. The only thing left of them was a blood stain on the floor. “What the hell is going on!?” One of them asked and you looked at the man and shrugged. “You should keep an eye on the hallway behind you, something might come down that path.” You shrugged. “While we’re here do you want to tell me what you were trying to steal?” “We weren’t trying to steal anything!” He answered and yet another one of them was taken this time by the little boy in the vents, the only evidence he was there was the echoing ‘hello’. “They don’t like liars… Try again.” You ordered. “Okay!” He yelled. “Bonnie, wait.” You ordered and the blue bunny stood ominously behind the man that had decided to speak. “We were just supposed to find out what ships were delivered for the port mafia, we don’t know why they needed that information but they paid good money for it.” He answered. “Thank you for your honesty… Take him Bonnie.” You waved him away only hearing his screams of protest for a second before he was dead too. “He told you what you wanted!” One of the last two screamed. “I don’t remember telling you that it would save you.” You smirked “you assumed that all on your own.” “You crazy bitch!” He yelled lifting his gun and pulling the trigger, the bullets bounced off the Mangle’s exoskeleton before it dove forward grabbing the man as you looked at the last man. “Please, I don't want to die.” He pleaded. “Should have thought about that before you stole from us.” You shrugged as the puppet appeared from the hallways grabbing the last of the men and disappearing back into the darkness again, there was no scream just the sound of blood hitting the tiles floor confirmed his death. “Game over.”

Chuya was speechless as you looked back down at your phone and started playing again. “You could do that the whole time?” He asked. “Mm.” You hummed. “Why didn’t you?” He asked. “Never needed to.” You answered. “To be clear I never needed your help, just wanted you to do something since this is your turf,” Chuya explained, you didn’t say anything. Chuya watched as you both walked back to his car, he could see the signs now, the way you skillfully stepped out of the way of people and opened the door of the car without looking up. He knew that he was strong but he wasn’t going to risk messing with you if that was the power that you were hiding.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

🧥 Mori paired you both together after you started going out on missions on your own. He had never heard your name before but you had definitely heard his. 🧥 He didn’t mind that you didn’t talk much or that you didn’t do anything because it meant that you never got in his way. 🧥 He knew that you were obviously powerful or smart because you had made your way up in the ranks but he had yet to see it. 🧥 Akutagawa didn’t actually see your power until someone who you had both thought to be a subordinate decided that they were going to try and betray you.

“Careful Akutagawa, I know you're strong but if you keep killing them I’ll kill her.” The man warned as he stood behind you with his knife to your neck. “Are you sure?” You asked. “Are you going to stop me?” He asked. “Game start.” The world changed to one you had come to know as an underground facility, you stood next to one of the buttons, Akutagawa was standing to the right of you and you smiled. “Where is everyone?” He asked. “You're going to want to press that button to find out.” You said pointing to the sun labelled button. “You press it.” He ordered so you leaned forward and pressed the button and there on Ballora’s stage was one of his friends hanging. “Oh is that him, looks like he met Ballora.” You bit your lip and he glared at you. “What about the others?” He asked. “Check the other side.” You suggested. “Akutagawa, press that button in front of you.” He leaned over and did as he was told, showing the mangled body of his other friends on the stage with Foxy. “Oh… They met Foxy.” “I’ll kill you.” He said through gritted teeth and you smirked. “You can try.” You taunted him as a slithering mechanical tentacle appeared from the darkness going straight past you into his stomach. “The boss doesn’t need anything from them does he?” “He didn’t mention anything.” Akutagawa said as you walked away from the man writhing on the floor. “He’s all yours Ennard.” You waved into the darkness as the mechanical tentacles reappeared to drag him back into the darkness. “Shouldn’t have betrayed us. Game over.”

When you both reappeared in the real world you didn’t say anything and neither did Akutagawa, he gestured for you to follow him and while he’d never say anything to you he was happy to have you on mission if your ability was actually worth the trouble and for the most part it was.

Nakajima Atsushi

🐅 Atsushi had just joined the ADA and everyone seemed to be quite friendly, the only person that he hadn’t really spoken to was you. 🐅 Everyone talked about how strong you were, even Dazai had told him to be careful around you but he hadn’t actually seen you fight before. 🐅 The first time that he saw you use your ability you were out with him and Junichiro when the guild attacked, Lucy had trapped you all. 🐅 Atsushi did not expect what happened next but you decided to turn her game on it’s head instead.

“So you want to play a game?” You asked. “I just told you the rules.” She smirked as you expertly ducked out of the way of the spectre that had tried to grab you. “How about we play a different game?” You suggested. “Game starts.” The bright pinks turned to dark red and blues as the world around you turned into a bedroom, you walked over to the bed sitting cross legged on the bed as a little Freddle climbed into your lap and settled. “So here are the rules of my game. All you have to do is stay away from the animatronics.” You shrugged. “Are you serious? Those things?” She asked, pointing at the Feddle in your lap. “No, those things.” You pointed behind her at Foxy pushing his way out of the closet. “Or you could stop your ability and everyone can go home with their limbs.” “Is this-” “Wait.” Junichiro said. “Here I’ll give you a practice run and once the practice run is over you can tell me if you want to bet your life on your mission.” You smiled. “Alright boys and girls, let's give her a head start for 3 minutes.” Foxy stopped moving, relaxing back and while you couldn’t see the others yet, you were sure they had done the same. “Run.” “What is going on?” Atsushi asked. “This is my ability, I can take anyone I want into a game world of my choosing and if she was going to make us play a game of life or death hide and seek, it’s only fair that I see if she can play that game too.” You shrugged. “These guys won’t hurt you though.” “Your ability is strong.” He said as he watched Foxy start to move out of the door to look for Lucy. “Yeah it is, they’ll have her in a minute.” You said as your hand ran along the head of the Freddle in your lap. “Hey put me down!” Lucy yelled as Freddy threw her to the floor in front of you. “Ready to give up yet?” You asked. “You let everyone go and I’ll let you go.” “I can’t!” She said and you looked at her and smirked really then I can’t stop them. Freddy moved forward diving to grab her and she shuffled back into the feet of Bonnie. “Wait! I’ll release it!” She yelled as you put your hand up causing the animatronics to stop moving. “Atsushi, Junichiro, I’ll send you guys back, call me and let me know if it’s been released, if I don’t get a call from you in 5 minutes I’ll assume it hasn’t and they’ll continue where they left off.” You explained, Junichiro nodded before you touched both of them “Game over.” They both disappeared as you turned back to her. “He’ll come looking for you once he hears about your ability.” She said as she looked at you and you shrugged. “I’m sure he already knows about my ability.” You said as you phone started ringing. “She released it.” Atsushi said. “Thank you. Game over.” The world around you changed and you were back on the road where you had started. “Are you okay?” Atsushi asked as he walked over. “Yeah I’m fine but she’s gone.” You frowned as you looked around. “Your ability is pretty amazing, she's probably afraid of you.” Atsushi shrugged and you nodded, pulling your phone out of your back pocket. “We should head back.” Atsushi said. “Mm.” You hummed as Junichiro and Naomi followed after the both of you.

Request Here!!

[beewolfwrites]

An Iron Box - A Lantern in the Rain

I really don’t know if I did this chapter justice or not. It’s the big one some of you have been waiting nearly a year for. 

Let me know if you spot any mistakes or weird, clunky sentences! I’ve proof read this without having much sleep. 

Enjoy! 

____________________________________________________

I felt the bullet tear through my hood, but it was insignificant. The fire, the game, even that idiot waving around his submachine gun… Everything was meaningless. Her breath, rapid and warm, I could feel it against my neck. I was alive. We both were. 

Seconds passed, but I couldn’t bring myself to move. For the first time in a long time, my heart was pounding. The sensation was distinctly uncomfortable, but it was remedied by one thing. Her head was tucked under my chin, my fingers digging into her shoulders - a closeness that would have annoyed me in the past. In this moment, it no longer bothered me. Instead, I could feel the heat of her, I could feel that overwhelming emptiness drifting into the recesses of the room. 

‘Chishiya?’ 

What am I doing?

I backed away, assessing her for any injuries. She was chewing on her lower lip, watching the flames spreading in the corners of the lobby, clearly unharmed. And aside from a slight sting in my side where my wound hadn’t quite fully healed, so was I. 

Ch, I can’t say the same for my hoodie. 

‘I need to go down there,’ (name) said, coughing a little from the smoke. ‘I need to help them, or at the very least, apologise to Usagi and Arisu for what we did. And I need you not to stop me again.’ 

You’re really going to ignore my warnings?

So be it. Realistically, I couldn’t keep her here forever, even if the thought was tempting, just out of spite. But that didn’t mean I was done with her yet. ‘Meet me by the river afterwards,’ I told her. ‘And use your head, stay away from Niragi.’ 

Shoving my hands into my pockets, I turned the other way, heading down the hall in the direction of the staircase to the floor above. I still had unfinished business, after all. 

‘Where are you going?’ 

I glanced back. How self-righteous of her to be worried about me now, after everything she’d said. ‘There’s something I need.’ 

You did ask for proof…

Taking care to avoid pools of black smoke, I jogged up the stairs. It would be rather inconvenient to die from asphyxiation now, of all times. Navigating the hallways upstairs was difficult through the haze, but following the gold lettering on the doors, I managed to uncover my room behind a wall of black smoke. 

I tested the handle. It was cool, and so I slipped inside. Aside from a thin strip of black smoke curling under the closed door, and the moonlight that bathed the room, it was more or less exactly as I’d left it. I didn’t waste any time, moving straight to the desk - more specifically, the second drawer down.

I slipped my hand inside, feeling around until my fingers closed on the little black box that I’d intentionally left in here earlier. It was rather annoying how things had turned out. I could have saved myself a hell of a lot of time and effort if I had just taken it with me earlier. The box sat open in my palm, and the tiny golden-green sun beamed at me, glistening like a lantern in the darkness. 

I didn’t even know why I was bothering. 

All this trouble for a woman. I hope you’re grateful. 

A calm female voice sounded from inside my pocket, breaking the silence.   

‘GAME CLEAR - CONGRATULATIONS’

I pulled out the phone, staring at the screen. They must have only just burned Momoka’s body in the fire of judgement. It took them long enough. A game like this really didn’t need quite so much fuss. But more importantly… 

The riverside. 

Sliding the black box into my pocket, I doubled back the way I came. I had to hold my sleeve over my mouth and nose to keep the smoke at bay. It didn’t do much, but it was enough to keep from coughing as I backtracked down the stairs, avoiding the balcony areas where the flames were now licking the carpets and walls, crackling with an untamed ferocity. As I headed back down the final hallway on the ground floor, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten something. 

The pistol. 

It was still in the third drawer back in my room. But no matter. It was too late to go back and get it now. And besides, I could just come back once the flames had died. I exited the hallway, crossing the empty lobby. 

Well, it was almost empty. 

Oh? How sneaky. 

In the centre of the room was a small white table, as expected, right in the middle lay a single playing card. The Ten of Hearts. I picked it up, satisfied that the last numbered card was finally in my grasp. But what did this mean? The timing of the Witch Hunt, the last of the numbered cards, the switching of the generators, even the fact that this table had been laid out so inconspicuously…

I thought back to my many conversations with (name). How, just like God, there was no way to prove whether or not Hatter’s theory was correct without having collected the numbered cards first. However, because of that, we also couldn’t prove that it was incorrect, either. But now things had changed. It was simply a matter of waiting. Would the numbered games continue, or would something different occur?

‘You’re quite persistent too.’ 

Kuina appeared at my side. The fire threw shadows over her features. Despite how she’d stumbled into the lobby earlier alongside An, she seemed to have recovered well. 

‘I started to think that it’s pointless to collect all the playing cards,’ I said. 

She folded her arms. ‘What’s with that?’  

‘But now,’ I explained, ‘we’ve got everything except for the face cards. I wonder what the gamemasters want us to see?’ 

‘Who knows? I guess we’ll find out soon anyway.’ She nodded towards the exit. ‘For now, let’s just get out of this place before we burn alive, yeah?’

She ushered me out of the hotel, stepping around the mangled remains of players still sprawled across the courtyard. At the side of the building, the fire of judgement glowed with an entanglement of limbs, heads, faces permanently etched in fear. 

What a mess, I thought. But it was bound to happen eventually, with or without the Witch Hunt. 

We exited through small path at the side of the hotel. Kuina scanned the area in search of something, or someone. 

‘Where is she?’ 

‘Who?’ 

She glared daggers at me. ‘Don’t give me that, you know who.’ 

I stared out in the vague direction of the riverside. ‘She’s waiting for me,’ I said. ‘You should find somewhere for us to lie low for a while.’ 

Kuina pursed her lips. ‘Bold of you to assume I’m going with you.’ 

I raised a brow. She was wasting my time. ‘If you weren’t, you would have left with the others instead of walking back into a burning building to find me.’ 

She sniffed and nodded. ‘Touche. You got me there. But you’ve got to promise to bring her with you. I’ll set up camp in my uncle’s furniture store. You know, the one near the arcade where we had that game once?’ 

A furniture store? It’d do rather nicely. It would have seats, somewhere to sleep, a staff kitchen, a toilet, shelter. 

‘Fine. I’ll meet you there soon.’ 

Kuina’s eyes narrowed. ‘We’ll meet you there. We. Honestly Chishiya, if you ditch her after all this, you’re dead to me. Capiche?’ 

The threat didn’t really come down to much, but she shook a fist to make her point clear, then strolled off into the darkness of the city. I watched her leave for a moment, before directing my attention to the riverside. 

I walked back around the side of the hotel until the river came into view. The water was calm, waves glittering gold and white under the flames and the moonlight. The pebble bank led down towards the water’s edge where a familiar figure was sitting, head against her knees and arms wrapped around her head. She was shivering. I touched the deck of cards in my left pocket, trying to ignore the weight of the tiny box in my right one. 

‘Crying again?’ 

She flinched, raising her head. When she spotted me, her eyes filled with something I couldn’t name.I stopped several feet from her. It would be best to keep at least some distance, for now. 

‘You don’t have much faith in me,’ I said, drawing the Ten of Hearts from the top of the deck and pulling it out to show her. 

Her face fell. ‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I don’t have much faith in you. All you’ve done is lie to me.’ 

‘Hmm…’ I glanced back at the burning structure behind us. From this distance, I could see the rooftop where we had been standing, less than two hours ago. ‘That’s not strictly true.’ 

Her eyes suddenly widened, as if a realisation had struck her. ‘Kuina. Is she?’ 

‘She’s fine.’ 

‘That’s good to hear.’ She exhaled softly. I could almost envision her thought process, the question that lay unspoken on her lips until… ‘Did you tell her to become friends with me, for your plan?’ 

Not in quite so many words.

‘At the very beginning, when I asked her to take you some food, she offered to become your friend,’ I said. There was no point in lying anymore. ‘But that was before she met you. She asked me to change the plan to keep you out of it.’ 

‘So that’s why you decided to switch from me to Arisu,’ she replied, visibly disappointed. 

‘Kuina had nothing to do with it. I changed my mind for my own reasons.’ 

Surely, I made that clear earlier, no?

She shook her head grimly, still reluctant to accept the truth. Such a stubborn girl. ‘I already told you back then,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what’s real and what’s not, so I can’t believe in anything you say anymore.’ 

Aside from one loophole… 

‘You also mentioned proof.’ My fingertips brushed the black box in my pocket. 

‘Only because you can’t prove it.’ 

‘Actually, you’re wrong.’ I took out the tiny black box and held it in my palm, that small green lantern, tucked away inside. And that poem of hers. The lines haunted me even now, ringing through my mind like a train whistle. 

‘Do I dare disturb the universe?’

‘What are you doing?’ She was squinting, trying to see what was in my hand. 

‘In a minute there is time for decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.’

I smiled, selecting my words carefully. ‘I’m forcing the moment to its crisis.’ 

Her whole body froze, eyes wide as she realised that yes, I had remembered the words she recited back in that cold, blue pharmacy as I bandaged her arm. Yes, I have read the poem in its entirety. And yes, I hated it just as much as I thought I would.

Then her eyes lowered to the small black box. I tossed it to her, and she caught it with both hands. I could see her fingers trembling as she opened it up. Her lips parted, and she stared intently at the tiny ring. No doubt she knew the name of the mysterious stone along with its meaning. I didn’t care about these things, but I could see a light in her eyes, radiating that warmth and fascination that had always drawn me to her - moth to flame.

‘I was in a game when I saw it,’ I said, watching the gentle flow of the river. ‘The Eight of Diamonds. At the time, I didn’t know why I took it.’ 

From the corner of my eye, I could see her crying silently. As always. Comfort had never been my forte - it was a performance I reserved for relatives of sick children in the hospital bays. But something about her tears irked me. 

‘This isn’t fair.’ Her voice was slightly hoarse from the smoke. ‘You can’t just do this after everything. You can’t just expect things to be okay now.’ 

‘I know.’ 

It probably never will be. 

‘And you can’t just pretend like none of it ever happened.’ 

‘I know that too.’ 

And then she took a step forward. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, fingers knotting in the back of my hoodie. I froze on instinct. She was close, far too close, and I was torn between pushing her away and basking in the heat of her body, even if it burned me. But all at once, that pressure in my chest, the vast emptiness that I had grown so accustomed to, began to drain away. The iron box had washed ashore, finally freed from the ocean’s depths. 

‘You…’ she mumbled into my hoodie. ‘I… I hate you so much.’ 

Ch… as if. 

I placed my hand on top of her head. Her hair was soft. ‘No, you don’t.’ 

I expected her to pull away, but she didn’t. Her fingers were still laced in my clothes, clutching me tightly to her, even as a soft rain began to fall around us. To my surprise, I realised that I no longer minded the proximity. 

Since when did I begin to feel this way? 

However, she was still crying, and I wasn’t sure how to make her stop. Finally, I felt her fingers loosen and she slipped away, moving back a few paces as she placed the ring on her finger and threw the box into the river. 

I noted that she had slid the ring onto her right hand. All this poetry talk…if I wasn’t careful she would come to the wrong conclusion. Even if what I had read was a translation, I wasn’t blind to the deeper meaning of that poem.

‘Before you get the wrong idea, this isn’t a—‘

‘I understand,’ she cut in, using her sleeve to wipe the rain from her face and dry her tears. ‘I don’t care about any of that. Especially not while we’re still in this world. Just stay with me for a while. That’s all I want.’ 

Very well. 

If that’s what she wanted. 

Suddenly, she frowned and patted her pocket. Or at least, what looked like a large lump in her pocket. Then she began to tug whatever was inside free, revealing that battered looking copy of Wuthering Heights which she had obviously curled up into a roll to force it to fit in such a small space. I couldn’t help but raise a brow. Why on earth she would bring that book with her was beyond even my comprehension. Shielding the pages from the rain with one hand, she flicked through it and held it open before me, her thumb marking a page. 

‘Of all the things to save,’ I muttered. 

She tapped her thumb on what was an underlined quote of text. ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you about this for ages. You’ve underlined it, but I can’t seem to translate it.’ 

Obviously, I had no idea what she was talking about. She must have wrongly assumed I’d left her a little message just for fun, when in actuality it was whoever owned this book last. But I didn’t tell her that just yet. I’d already crushed her dreams once tonight. Perhaps twice was a little too much, even for me. 

I took the book and skim-read the quotation. ‘“I’m tired of being enclosed here. I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there; not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it”’ 

What a stupid book. Out of all the lines to choose. 

It just had to be one that simplified her - a mirror image of her life before the Borderlands, and of course, her yearning to separate herself from her father. I closed the book and passed it back to her. ‘I didn’t underline that.’ 

‘You didn’t?’ She appeared puzzled. ‘Why was it highlighted then?’ 

I shrugged. ‘It was used when I found it. It probably belonged to a student at some point.’ 

‘Oh…’ 

There was a funny kind of sadness in her expression, like she had been expecting something far more grandiose when in actuality, it was nothing more than a coincidence. I had told her so many times to get her head out of the clouds - that naivety of hers would get her killed. 

‘Chishiya,’ she whispered, twiddling with the ring on her finger. ‘I don’t want to be afraid of things anymore. I don’t want to be afraid of you either.’ 

Silly girl. The solution was simple. 

‘Then don’t be.’ 

Before I knew it, she closed the space between us, pressing her lips to mine. I stiffened, unsure of how to react, but then I felt it. The vast pressure in my chest eased slightly, like an anchor had lifted, and I raised my hand to the back of her head, threading my fingers through her damp hair. Her lips were wet with rain, and I could feel her shivering in the cold. 

Then too suddenly, she stepped away, and the pressure in my chest deepened once more. I didn’t know what to say, and she remained silent. The only sound was the patter of raindrops against the river, and the water gently spilling over the pebble bank. 

‘Let’s go,’ I said. ‘Kuina is waiting for us.’ 

She touched the ring on her finger. ‘Okay.’ 

[honeesucker]

Pairing: Alpha!Bokuto Kōtarō x F!omega reader

Genre: A/B/O AU 🐾 | Smut, 18+ // minors DNI!

WC: 3,057

My whole body was shivering despite it being a sweltering sunny day, my mind was hazy and clouded with the need to submit to an Alpha. 

To be overtaken, pounded into until I was a dumb mess of omega mush and knotted until I was fat with pups.

Fucking hormones and omega instincts.

Fucking expired heat suppressants.

Stupid fucking idiot me for not noticing until it was too late.

My rational mind fought off the swarm of nuisance thoughts as I hurried my way back to my apartment carefully avoiding anyone’s gaze, suffocating my scent glands in a thick hooded sweater and scarf I had kept at the bakery for the unexpected colder days. It didn’t do much to ward off the curious glances and sniffs from the passing Alphas and others on the street, but luckily none acted on instincts, I didn’t stick around long enough to trigger anything in them.

My thighs were sticking together uncomfortably beneath my summer dress as the slick pooled in my panties and ran down the sides. The friction against my sensitive core only added to the ache, and I had to fight every ounce of instinct in me to hold back the whimpers, to not just fall on the ground and present myself to the next suitable Alpha that crossed my path.

I just needed to get home unscathed and get on my pharmacy app to order a fresh batch of suppressants, wait out a week for them to take full affect and I’ll be good to return to my normal, uncomplicated life.

I had been lucky in avoiding anymore people. No one was waking along the final stretch that led to my apartment building; a high-rise nestled just outside of the main district of downtown but still fairly luxurious for an apartment building. After a rough time in my earlier years out on my own, I decided once my bakery was successful enough I would splurge and put myself in a comfortable apartment with extra building security for my own peace of mind. I made my way to the door where the Beta doorman was waiting with it open for me, smiling until he caught the edge of my currently overwhelming scent.

“Quick, quick in miss Y-N,” Ferris ushered me through the door and shut it behind us. Walking me to the empty elevator and pushed my floor, nearly the top, at 27 of 35. “You shouldn’t be out wandering around in such a state, it isn’t safe for you!” The older man patted my hands in his with a worried expression. I just smiled and nodded along to his worrying over me.

“I know Mr. Ferris,” I sighed, “there was an unfortunate mishap with my medication so I’m gonna be staying cooped up for a bit.” He just nodded and ushered me along, and I gave a small wave and smile as the doors closed and he gave me one final wave off. I sighed, releasing the death grip I had on the jacket around me, still covering my scent glands as best as I could, but not with so much force around my throat. I’m surprised I didn’t pass out from self-asphyxiation on the way home.

After a few minutes in the elevator my floor was finally reached with a gentle ding! and I was hurrying out into the hall to make sure I was alone. With no one around I felt safe enough to walk briskly to my apartment without any further paranoia. I was reaching my door, just about to press in my key code and slink into a week of needy depression when I heard the door slighty adjacent to mine across the hall open behind me. 

My whole body froze like a bunny caught in a wolf’s gaze.

Fuck.

“Hey hey hey, my sweet little Y/N!” A bright, jovial baritone rang out behind me, and soon I felt the looming presence of the man I feared most coming into contact with at this very moment right at my back. The immense heat radiating off of him in waves with his sweet, clean scent with mint, along with a headier male musk underneath. “You’re home early! Sorry to be a pest but did you bring any pastries home with you? I have such an awful craving right now and-” my kind, handsome neighbor regarded me silently, and what I didn’t see were his sweet golden eyes darkening to a dangerous lustful shade as he leant forward and took a gentle sniff in. A ragged breath leaving his chest as he inched forward just enough for me to feel his clothing ghosting against my back. “Y/N? Are you okay? You smell.... you s-smell so good. Different,” he slurred behind me, leaning down to rub his cheek against the top of my head and nose my hair as he took in deeper breaths. I was completely frozen, in fear or need... I couldn’t decide.

Maybe both.

When my neighbor let out a deep, rumbling groan from inside his chest I leant more towards need in my current aching state as I instinctively pressed my body back against his. “Y-Y/N you shouldn’t be out right n-now in your state s’not safe y’know...” his voice trailed off, a pained mixture of a whimper and a growl leaving his chest as I reached forward and punched in my key code to my apartment.

“Ko,” I heard the Alpha behind me purr as his name slipped from my mouth, my voice and body trembling. “I had a bit of a setback as you can tell, so no pastries today,” the whimper that left him made my cheeks warm because it wasn’t hormonal, it was just Bokuto being a pouty baby who wanted a soft bread or sweet cake.

“Mm s’okay Y/N...” Bokuto’s voice trailed off as he placed his large hands on my hips, palms swallowing my sides and pressing tightly into the plush flesh, fingers gripping down with a bruising force. He was leaning forward and placing soft kisses along my shoulder and up my neck until he licked a small strip up along where my scent glands were and I couldn’t stop the full-body shudder than shook me. “D-do you want me to stop?” His voice was a whisper, still heavy with need but more Bokuto than Alpha was talking to me. I shook my head, stepping into my apartment and allowing the Alpha to come in with me, slipping out of our shoes in a tangled mess of legs, and laughing as Bokuto hastily locked the door behind him.

“I know we’re both kind of teetering on the edge of control right now,” Bokuto continued gently, hands still gripping my sides tightly as he allowed me to set my things down on the bench in my entryway. A low growl leaving him when I almost slipped out of his hold. “But I need to know it’s not just your omega pushing you into this Y/N. I’ve admired you since I first met you, wanted you,” Bokuto was peppering my neck and the side of my face with butterfly kisses, “but if you tell me to stop, to leave... I will. Nothing will change between us if you put up a boundary for yourself right now but everything will change for the worse if you force yourself into something you don’t want...” I couldn’t believe the articulated thoughts of pure, sweet kindness coming out of Bokuto’s mouth but I was so happy to hear them. I’ve had such a huge crush on my long-time Alpah neighbor since he came knocking on my door one late evening when I was testing recipes, a mess of apologies and need as he caught a whiff of the new cakes I was trying to perfect and the poor thing had just returned home from an away game with his volleyball team, starving and exhausted. He spent the night giving me feedback on my testers and I let him sugar-crash on my couch, waking him up with a healthier breakfast more suitable for an athlete in the morning. 

We’ve been close since that day.

Well, close but not as close as right now... despite the aching deep in me that always welled up inside whenever we spent time together. My omega whimpering at how perfect of an Alpha Bokuto would be.

“Y/N?” Bokuto was asking once again, I could feel his hands shaking as his control over his instincts began to slip. 

I simply nodded.

“Y-yes Ko,” I swallowed hard when his hands gripped tighter on my hips, crushing me further against him as his arms snaked up my body to wrap me in a tight hold from behind. “I want this - I’ve wanted this, w-wanted you...” I couldn’t form full thoughts, not like he deserved to hear but we were both in a compromising state of mind right now. “P-please Alpah, need you so badly,” that was all it took to have me turned around so fast in his arms, his lips crashing against mine in a mess of teeth and saliva as pure need took over us both. One of his hands was fisted in the hair at the back of my head, the other cupping the side of my throat, his thumb stroking along my jaw as he deepened the kiss like he was trying to crawl inside my body through my mouth. 

He was pushing me back toward my couch, his hands now fumbling behind me to pull the zipper of my dress and have the fabric pooling to the ground. He growled into my mouth as he hooked two fingers in the hem of my lace panties to pull them down and off while his other hand guided me down softly onto the couch. He had me draped over the arm of the sectional as he layed down between my legs, I was able to peek open my heavy eyes in time to see the primal look on his face before he licked his lips and leant down to lick a long strip up my soaked pussy, the sensation sending electric shocks through my whole body as I arched off the couch with a yelp.

Bokuto let out a deep, rumbling growl with a whisper of “so sweet,” before diving back in and devouring my sopping pussy like a man starved. His mouthed latched around my swollen clit with a pressure that had me seeing stars as he suddenly plunged two thick fingers into me, curling upward against my sticky walls, quickly bringing me to the edge. He didn’t relent his assault on me, mouth staying locked on and fingers curling cruelly as my body shook and arched up off the couch with a shrill scream, my whole body convulsing with wave after wave of electric pleasure shocks. Bokuto removed his fingers slowly and licked them clean, blowing a cool stream of air against my sensitive clit, causing me to whimper in his hold as he delved his tongue into me to lap up more of my slick. I was a whimpering mess above him, wriggling to be free of the stimulation to the newly over-sensitive area but he kept his pink muscle deep in my pussy as his nose occasionally brushed up against my clit causing my hips to buck further against his face. The groans he was letting out were downright sinful and soon had me back on the precipice of another impending orgasm. Bokuto reached one hand up to thumb circles on my clit as he kept himself deep in my pussy, soon I was bucking up against his face as another heavy wave crashed down on me. I was panting and swearing and pleading to be released because the pleasure was stating to morph with a tinge of pain as he kept up the relentless assault.

“K-Ko please no more,” I was whining above him, my chest heaving with broken breaths. Bokuto’s mouth was shiny with my slick as he crawled up my body and crashed his lips down on mine. I could taste myself on his tongue, in combination with feeling his still-clothed cock straining against his joggers, had me mewling with need and bucking up to meet his bulge.

“You say no more but your body is begging for me,” Bokuto muses. “Do you want me to stop?” His golden eyes were looking down at me, dark and swirling with lust as a beautiful half-smile graced his face. I shook my head and he just chuckled. “Use your words baby, ask for what you want,” he cooed, leaning down to pepper kisses and gentle nips along the side of my neck, stopping to suck on a particular spot once my let out a gasp and wriggled beneath his large body caging me in.

“Mmphf, p-please Ko, Alpha, need you,” my cheeks were burning but I didn’t care, my whole body was on fire for the man on top of me, crying out to him for any crumb he’d give me, “need your cock-mm-need to feel so full with you please Alpha, please,” Bokuto crashed his lips back down against mine with an urgent need while he ground his hardened cock against my slick-covered core, the friction of the fabric bringing another whine from my throat.

“How can I say no to such a pretty omega begging to be knotted, hm?” Bokuto was nuzzling down into the crook oh my neck, “pretty omega, perfect omega, my omega.” I didn’t realize when he had shimmied out of his joggers but soon I felt the large tip of his cock pressing into my hole, even with two orgasms and the slight stretch from his fingers earlier it still burned so wonderfully to be full of Bokuto’s cock, every inch of his cock catching on my walls and dragging new sensations forward as I clawed at his back, wrapping my arms and legs around him in an attempt to be closer to him, to pull more of him inside of me. “Such a needy slut for her Alphas cock, hmm?” I nodded my head so vigorously, rolling my hips to coax the man above me into moving. “Poor thing, I’ll give you everything you need...” with a quick snap of his muscled hips, his thick cock was driven deep, the head pummeling against my cervix with blinding pressure as he slammed his hips over and over into me, heavy balls slapping against my slick-coated ass sending shivers up my spine. “Fuck, ‘mega, you’re so tight-fuck- so fucking perfect, so perfect for me.” Bokuto was all bared teeth and snarls above me, leaning down to kiss and bite over his earlier marks along my neck. I craned my neck, exposing more of myself to his assault as he kept up the brutal pace inside of me. It didn’t take long before I was crying out with the sudden hit of an orgasm I didn’t even feel the buildup to, the walls of my pussy were sucking a Bokuto in deeper with each of his thrusts, and soon I could feel the way his hips stuttered, sloppy and less practiced. I didn’t realize his teeth were on me, biting deep into the flesh of my neck where my scent glands were, blood spilling out of the wound and into his mouth and down my neck and chest as Bokuto marked me as his, licking one long, final strip up my neck across the wound, sealing it.

There was a final quick snap of his hips, until Bokuto’s large knot stretched me with a burn that had me whimpering, gasping when it popped through the small opening of my pussy, slick helping to coax it inside as my walls clamped down on him and his knot further in another orgasms as he emptied ropes of hot, white cum deep inside of me. The continued short, sharp thrusts Bokuto made as he continued to empty himself inside of me brought on one more orgasm, my whole body siezing and shaking, walls clamping down around the fleshy member knotted inside of me, my chest was heaving with deep breaths as my eyes edged with black and every small twitch Bokuto made inside of me had me crying out - with pleasure or pain or both - I couldn’t tell. He leant down to scoop me up, our bodies still connected as he sat down on the catch and allowed me to stradle his lap, nestling me tightly against his chest as he kissed my hair and whispered such sweet things to me over and over, petting my hair, my face, peppering kisses along my cheek, jaw, down my throat and to my shoulder, gliding over the mark he made earlier with a gentle ghost of a kiss. My whole body felt like a live-wire ready to make contact with the wrong type of metal at any given moment, but Bokuto kept rubbing small patterns over my exposed skin, kneading his fingers deep into muscles I didn’t realize were sore, kissing un-kissed inches of skin over and over until he felt me relax in his arms, felt my body droop with exhaustion as I rested my head on his shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck as I bit back into him, giving him a small omega mark. Bokuto shuddered beneath me, gripping me tighter as I licked up the blood and kissed over the already-healing mark, nuzzling back into him.

“Y/N~” Bokuto said in a whisper sing-song voice, shaking me gently, “I think we can separate now baby,” he said, trying to lift me off of him gently.

“Mm, no Ko,” I grumbled, a gentle growl leaving my throat, “wanna stay like this  a little longer.” Bokuto just nodded, rubbing my back and resting his head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, a little longer baby,” he mused, “but then can you bake me something?”

You just shook your head, your body shaking with held-in laughter as you agreed to bake him as many sweets as he wanted just as soon as you could walk. Bokuto offered to do all the heavy lifting if you just told him what to do - and you relished in the idea of sharing the kitchen with Bokuto - with your Alpha.

What a sweet start to something beautiful. 

[redpandaramblings]

Like Caramel For Chocolate- An Omega Bakugou x Alpha f!Reader fic. Part 6

Part 1 Here

Next part Here

Content Warning: Negative headspace, omegaverse, self deprecation, depressive thoughts, pushy parental figures, ambiguous omegaverse reproduction, unhealthy relationships, relationship that could be easily fixed if idiots would use their words and communicate, Shinso/Denki side relationship, Bakugou is a dumbass but so is y/n

Where we left off-

Before Bakugou could reply, the jeweler came back into the room and handed Denki a piece of paper.

“All right sir, here is your receipt! Your ring should be ready in three days.”

“Thanks.” Denki shoved the receipt into his pocket, quickly making his way to the door. “See you around Bakubro. Don't want to be late for my shift.” The door closed behind him with a bang.

Bakugou wasn’t annoyed though. Now he could pick out the perfect ring for Y/N and not worry about Kaminari being nearby. Everyone knows Kami can’t keep a secret to save his life.

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep all of this a secret.” Denki moaned into his hands. He was sitting with his head buried in his arms. Y/N reached across the table and gently petted his hair.

“I know what you mean, but I don’t think either of us are in a good position to start telling people.”

Y/n and Denki sat in a secluded corner of a dimly lit cafe. Both of them had this time free and both of them definitely needed to talk. They stood a lot less chance of anyone asking questions if they were just two friends getting lunch instead of them privately going to each other’s apartments.

Denki looked up, giving Y/N a wide eyed expression. “I know, but I wasn’t expecting Bakugou to show up when I was dropping off that abomination of a ring! I just was lucky the jeweler had already taken it to the back. You were right by the way, that thing is absolutely horrendous. Like, was the designer blind?”

Y/N snorted. “From what I’ve heard, great great grandpappy had a lot more money than brains and wanted to impress his omega by shoving as many stones onto a ring as possible.”

“No kidding. I think it can be seen from space.”

“Very likely.” Y/N chuckled before slumping back into her seat with a sigh. “Though I might have an idea about what Bakugou was doing there.”

“Wait, seriously?”

Y/N nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. When I got back he invited me to the summer festival. I’d forgotten about it.”

“Ah shit, yeah. Isn’t that your guys' anniversary?”

“Yep.” Y/N sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Of course he had to pick this time to actually celebrate. We haven’t gone or done anything… God, I think since he became a hero.”

“So you think he was getting a gift.” Denki sat back as the server came, placing your orders in front of each of you. You both murmured your thank yous and waited until the server was out of earshot before resuming your conversation.

“Yeah, he had to have been. Makes me feel terrible, but there wasn’t a good time to… Well…”

Y/n gestured between herself and Denki.

“Tell him that you’ve been betrothed to an omega of much superior looks, breeding, and manners?”

You gave Denki a little kick under the table as he cackled. He grinned cheekily as he poked at his food. “Sorry. Humor is my coping mechanism. I get it though. Timing sucks all the way around.”

You nodded, sighing and taking a bite of your own food. “Can’t say anything during his heat. Then his schedule was swamped, and I had to sort things out with you. Then bam, anniversary that for some reason he decided to remember this year.”

Denki snorted, popping a bite into his mouth. “That’s about the long and the short of it. And we haven’t even begun to figure out how to tell everyone we’ve not only accepted arranged betrothals, but that we’re engaged to each other.”

“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping we could just move to Tahiti and never speak to our former friend groups ever again?”

“A valid possibility. But that means we’d have to learn French and maybe Tahitian. You know I only passed English because Hitoshi and his dad coached me.”

“Fair point.” You sighed heavily. “But I’m really not looking forward to these conversations.”

“They have to happen though. You might have some anonymity to hide behind, but I’d rather my friends not find out about our engagement when they see an article about Chargebolt getting married.”

“Really?” You smirked slightly. “Then you’re going to tell everyone at your agency, hmm?”

Denki kicked you under the table. “Shut up!”

You poked at your food again as the smile fell from your lips. “So… Did you get a chance to think about what I sent you?”

Kaminari nodded. “Yeah. And I hate to say it, but I think you’re right.”

“I thought about it a lot. I hate to leave the area, but it would be too awkward to stay here after everything.”

A few days ago you had sent Denki an email with a list of places that had job openings that would suit both of you. You both loved where you lived, but after everything, how could you stay? There’s no way the two of you could continue to keep living in the same apartment building as Bakugou. That would be cruel. Cruel to whom you didn’t quite want to think about. You spoke up again.

“Any place catch your eye?”

Kaminari nodded. “I was kind of thinking Okinawa. I have a few connections there. Decent distance from here and from our parents. And that would probably be the easiest transition.”

“Works for me.” You said, as if it wasn’t ripping your heart out to do this. It hurt. But it had to happen. In the end, you had to believe this was what was best for everyone. It might take some time, but this was it. This was what would make everyone happy in the long run.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinsou was worried. Denki had been acting odd. And that’s saying something. The blond omega was usually loud and bubbly, the life of the agency. At least once a week, he invited Shinsou out for drinks, meals, clubs, karaoke, or some other nonsense. But ever since he’d gotten back from his three day leave, Kaminari had been acting strange. When he thought no one was looking, he was quiet. Withdrawn. Like he was puzzling out the toughest problem of his life.

Denki having a problem? Pretty typical. Denki having a problem and not talking to Shinsou about it? Pretty unusual. The blond had always come to the purple haired alpha with even the simplest of problems. Apartment searches, furniture assembly, what support items would suit his quirk best, even things like what to get from Starbucks. And even though he might groan and roll his eyes, secretly Hitoshi loved every second of it. When he had helped by digging through websites, cobbling together a rickety shelf, or reminding Denki that he always got the most cloyingly sweet items on the menu; Hitoshi got to pretend that he was Denki’s alpha.

Shinsou wasn’t sure exactly when he had fallen in love with Denki. Probably had been since high school at least. His dad had warned him against loud blonds while his father had laughed. But he couldn’t help it. Kaminari had been one of the first people to enthusiastically believe in him. Had always sought him out and wormed his way into Shinsou’s life and heart. And now Shinsou couldn’t understand it, but Denki was pulling away. Even as he watched the blond who was typing up a report on his computer, it somehow felt like Kaminari was slipping right through his fingers.

Shinsou cleared his throat. Kaminari glanced up. “Yeah man? What’s up?”

“You doing okay, Denks? You’ve seemed a little out of it.”

Denki met his eyes, startled, then quickly glanced away. “Yeah. Yep! Totally fine.”

“Denki. I know you.”

Kaminari sighed and slumped on his desk. “Just some life stuff. Family stuff. Friend stuff.”

Shinsou frowned, walking over to place a hand on Denki’s shoulder. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Denki snorted and laughed quietly. Shinsou furrowed his brows.

“Yeah” Denki sighed. “I know. But half of it isn’t really my stuff to tell and the other half isn’t exactly worth talking about.”

“You sure? We could go grab one of your obnoxiously sweet coffees after work. Go to mine or yours, watch an old crappy horror.”

“Tempting. Thanks man. I would, really, but I got some stuff I have to do after work. Some other time maybe.”

Shinsou frowned. It was rare for the omega to turn down an invitation for a movie night. Hell, it was rare for Denki to turn down an invitation, end stop. It made him even more worried about his omega… friend. His omega friend. His friend who just so happens to be an omega. Hitoshi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really didn’t want to ruin the best friendship he had. But he couldn’t keep this up much longer. His alpha had decided on the electric blond long ago, and the omega’s unusual behavior and unhappy scent was driving him wild with the need to protect. He really needed to pull himself together and confess soon.

“Well, whenever you’re free then,” Shinsou said, reluctantly letting his hand fall from Denki’s shoulder. “You know my number.”

Denki nodded and looked up, giving him half a smile. “I do. Thanks Shinsou.”

Shinsou walked back to his desk, his mind made up. He needed to tell his omega how he felt, and soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N twisted and turned, looking at herself in the mirror. It had been a very long time since she’d worn a yukata. It didn’t feel right to dress up like this. But wearing anything else also felt wrong. Everything about this date felt wrong. Like this was the kind of she she did in another life. And now here she was, going on a date with the man she loved. Who she’d always love. And who she’d already decided she was going to let go.

Y/N snorted and fussed with her hair a bit. Maybe she should have just refused this date. Claimed to be sick or something. But that felt wrong too. So, she just had to get through tonight. After all, what’s one more night of pretending everything is fine? Hopefully this could be a good memory from a relationship that just wasn’t meant to be. After tonight, she’d wait a couple days and then talk to Bakugou and let him go like he clearly wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki was going to throw up.

He was going to throw up, right here, all over himself and all over shitty hair, too. His red headed friend was giving him a pep talk as he helped Bakugou into his jinbei. Not that Bakugou needed the help. Or the pep talk. It just was easier to let the squad come over when they had found out about his date. It’s not like he wanted them there or anything. Once Kiri, Mina, and Sero realized he was going to use this date to ask Y/N to be his mate, they had insisted on helping him get ready.

None of them knew about the little velvet box in his pocket and that his plans went further than just asking Y/N to be his mate. Bakugou bit his lip to keep from frowning as he looked over his friends, a certain loud blond conspicuously missing. You wouldn’t hear Katsuki admit it out loud, but he really wished Denki could have been here. He loved the others, and they were great in their own ways. But Denki was his pack’s other omega. He got it in a way that the others didn’t. After tonight, he’d have to make sure to catch Pikachu up on all the news. Hell, maybe he could help his fellow blond finally talk to that purple haired idiot he’d been mooning over for years. Everyone in the pack knew Denki’s family had been harping at him to settle down for quite a while.

Bakugou looked up in time to see Mina coming at him with the hair grease. He threw up his hands.

“Fuck no! Keep that shit away from me!”

“You’ve got to do something about that pile of straw you call a haircut. Besides, Wouldn’t it be nostalgic? Weren’t you interning for Best Jeanist again when you asked Y/N out the first time?”

“Yes, and I’d rather shave myself bald than ever have my hair like that again!”

Mina sighed. “Fine. We’ll do something else. But if I can’t slick it back, you will be wearing eyeliner!”

“IN YOUR DREAMS, PINKY!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You waited outside the entrance to the festival. It was strangely soothing to watch the people flow by, like you were a rock overlooking a stream. There were groups of friends, couples both young and old, families where the laughing children ran ahead of their parents eager to get inside. You gave a small smile at the last. Maybe that could be you someday, a parent getting to see a festival through the eyes of a child again. Though the mental picture was hazier than it used to be. The children you half imagined just blurs of colorful yukatas, instead of loud and stubborn blond haired brats with their father’s eyes and attitude. You huffed a quiet laugh to yourself as a thought occurred to you. If you and Kaminari actually went through with this plan, decent chance the kids would still be blond. The thought hurt a little.

“Y/N!”

You looked up and had the breath knocked out of your lungs.

Katsuki was beautiful. You knew it. Thought it often, even. But tonight he practically glowed. His hair had been tamed into a softer look than usual. The jinbei he wore was the perfect compliment to his skintone. Was that… Yes. Dark eyeliner made his crimson eyes pop. Your heart ached. You’d always love this man. No matter how it tore you apart, he’d always own part of your heart and soul. You smiled weakly and raised your hand in greeting.

“Hey. You look good.”

“Thanks.” Bakugou scratched the back of his head. “Mina got ahold of me.”

“That explains it then.”

“Hey!” Katsuki gently elbowed you in the side before taking his place next to you. “You saying I can’t dress up on my own?”

“Yes.”

“Y/N!” You dodged out of the way as he swatted at you, laughing. Yes. This could be it. One last good night.

“Shall we go in?” You asked, holding out your hand.

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Katsuki asked as he walked past you, ignoring your hand.

You gave a quiet smile as you followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki picked at his food, none of it making it to his mouth. He was going to be sick. He was going to be sick right here and some paparazzi was going to see and take a picture and the big headline tomorrow was going to be “A Puke Worthy Proposal.” He was trying his best to keep up the illusion that everything was fine and normal, but it was rough. It had been a long time since he’d taken his alpha on even a normal date. And this wasn’t any normal date. It didn’t help that things were feeling forced and awkward.

He wanted to hold your hand, but his own hands were sweating buckets. He tried to keep up casual conversation, but that was getting harder and harder as the night wore on. Every sentence he wanted to just blurt it out and get it over with. It was impossible to keep talking about what vendors he recognized when all he wanted to say was “I love you and I’ll always love you and I want you by my side until the sun stops shining.”

It didn’t help that things felt awkward. Almost nothing was feeling easy or natural. It really had been far too long since the two of you had gone on any sort of date. He frowned as he thought about it. It had been over a year, at least. Longer, even. Well, he was going to have to fix that. He’d be able to use some of that pro hero paycheck and spoil you like you deserved. His Y/N. His mate. And soon, his wife.

Bakugou stared at nothing, his eyes going unfocus as he started daydreaming about how spectacular your wedding would be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a disaster. You glanced over to where Bakugou stood picking at his food, looking bored. You’d been trying to keep up the conversation, but for the past several minutes you’d only gotten hums or grunts in response to anything you said.

“It’s amazing how they got all those pro heroes to dance nude as one of the main attractions this year.”

Katsuki grunted.

Yeah, he wasn’t paying attention at all.

You sighed, looking down at your own untouched food. You never should have agreed to come. At least this date was proving it to you. This had to end. The two of you didn’t know how to be a couple anymore. It was even clearer that Katsuki wasn’t even interested in trying. You had no idea why he wanted to have this date in the first place. Some bizarre sense of obligation? Maybe his heat had shaken him up enough that his omega needed the sense of normalcy? This issue was this wasn’t normal for the two of you anymore. It hadn’t been for a very long time. You sighed, glancing around for a trash can to oust you untouched dango.

A loud pop caused you to look up. The fireworks were about to start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou looked up at the sound of the first firework.

“Wanna head to the pier?”

You nodded quietly, following him as he led the way. He was sweating so much now that if he set himself off he’d take out half the city.

This was it. It was almost time. The two of you were going to watch the fireworks from the out of the way pier like you had all those years ago. It was at the end of that fireworks show the two of you had had your first kiss. And this time… Well this time at the end of the show he was going to propose and you were going to say yes, and it was going to be perfect.

That is if he didn’t barf before you two got there.

“Hurry up,” he grunted as he picked up the pace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tried not to flinch at Bakugou’s harsh tone. He clearly wanted to get this night over with even more than you did. You tried not to let it hurt.

The pier was empty as it always was. The lack of lighting keeping others away. The first time you had discovered it, it had felt hidden and intimate. Now it felt desolate. Lonely.

You walked up to the railing and stared at the sky. The fireworks didn’t feel magical anymore either. Your fingers wrapped around the railing as you glanced to the side. Bakugou wasn’t even looking up. He was staring at the reflections of flashes in the dark swirling water below.

You couldn’t do this anymore.

No more.

The fireworks illuminated you as your grip on the railing tightened until your knuckles turned white.

“Katsuki?”

“”What?” He asked roughly, barely glancing your way.

“Let’s break up.”

And that was Part 6, my darlings! Hope you're enjoying the drama, because there's more angst on the way! You can scream at me about the cliffhanger in replies, reblogs, tags or asks. :P

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[definitelynotafurinasimp]

I saw the event, so if it's allowed..

Can I request No. 14 with Ganyu? Like Ganyu and reader met just right after the archon war and the foundation of the Qixing. Reader used to be a merchant associated with the Qixing but was forced to part from Ganyu due to an arranged marriage done by reader's family over a wealthy house at that time. Ganyu and reader then met on present times since reader applied as an employee at the Qixing and often paired up with Ganyu in projects and such. The in their free time strolling around Liyue, reader brought up the question stated in no. 14 and Ganyu just answers, "Perhaps, we did.." or something along the lines of uncertainty— no, but more like it's something she never wanted for the reader to know entirely, so she gave a vague answer about it knowing the woman in front of her right now isn't the same as she met millennia ago, despite that, her feelings remain the same for the reader.

I feel like this is an ambitious request, to be done or not, thank you for taking your time on reading this!

"Do you ever wonder if we've met in another lifetime?"

characters: Ganyu x gn!reader

warnings: arranged marriage (if that's something you need a warning for)

a/n: Thanks for you detailed describtion, it made it much easier for me to write this one, since I didn't have to think about the specifics of it. That doesn't mean that others have to be specific, since I have no problem with doing the thinking part myself, but yeah.

I hope i did your request justice, thanks for requesting

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Ganyu

Ganyu and you first met just some time after the end of the Archon war and even though she was half Adepti and you nothing more than a regular human, the two of you slowly became friends. And over time the half human was starting to feel something different towards you. She of course instantly went to talk to cloud retainer about it and even though the Adeptus had her own problems understanding humans and their emotions, even she could see that Ganyu had fallen for you.

But you were the heir to a wealthy merchant family and so before Ganyu had the chance to finally muster the courage to confess to you, the two of you were forced to go separate ways after your parents arranged a marriage for you. Millennia had passed since then and she had long accepted that she would never see you again, that was until she met her new co-worker in the Qixing.

At first, she simply assumed that it was simply a descendant of you, but their voice was too similar, their jokes striking the same area of “so bad that it was charming again”, and their face too identical to yours. Every single detail, from the nose to the smile and the exact colour of hair matched too perfectly to be anything different than you. And even though there were some changes to your personality, which wasn’t too outlandish to imagine, since you went through a much tougher childhood than in your previous life, it remained close enough to your old self for Ganyu not to fall in love with you again.

You had accompanied Ganyu to her usual lunchtime nap and couldn’t help but blush when she laid her head on your lap. The Ganyu that everyone told you about that was “too self-conscious and shy to even start a conversation with a stranger” was nowhere in sign whenever she was around you. From the first moment you met she gave of an aura of reuniting with a long-lost friend, and you couldn’t help but get filled with an incredible amount of nostalgia every time you talked and so, when Ganyu had just opened her eyes again and went on to stretch, a question slipped out of your mouth.

“Do you ever wonder if we’ve met in another lifetime?”, you asked and instantly started blushing upon realising how idiotic your question sounded, but even though you expected her to react in kind, Ganyu stared at you as if she was awaiting your question for a long time before giving you a small smile.

“That could be the case. I have met quite a few people in my lifetime”, she stated, her answer leaving your question unresolved but still managed to calm you down.

Even though Ganyu’s answer was vague enough to keep you just pondering about it, she had long accepted the person next to her and you to be the same. But the last thing she wanted was for you to realise it, things would get unnecessarily complicated if you did and so she decided to simply bide her time for just a bit longer, hoping that you would return her love when she eventually confessed. And this time she wouldn’t miss her chance.

[lamesiscanon]

Kiss Me Better

For @goodboylupin ‘s Candy Hearts Challenge! My prompt was 2,000 kisses. 

--

If anyone had asked Remus how he planned to spend his time on that sunny Monday morning in Spring, he would've smiled and gladly told them all about the book he was reading, and how he hoped to finish it after classes when he and his friends would eventually go outside to sit by the lake together and soak up the sunshine. There was always homework to do as well, but that was a boring answer, and besides, nobody really did ask Remus what his plans were for the day. It was a hypothetical scenario, conjured up and played out inside Remus' head as he ate his breakfast and stared out the windows in the Great Hall, completely zoned out from the conversation happening around him.

Sirius and Peter were talking about muggle music while James was too wrapped up in a conversation with Lily to notice that Remus was off in his own world.

Daydreams full of warm rays of sun and laughter by the water remained in Remus' head during most of breakfast. It wasn't until he heard a hiss of pain coming from beside him that Remus finally snapped out of it. He turned his head towards the sound to see that Sirius had sliced open his finger while trying to cut his food. But the even more pressing matter - one Remus did not even realize existed until he'd zoned back in - was the fact that his and Sirius' thighs were pressed together under the table, and Remus had trouble focusing on anything else besides the warm heat coming from his friend's body, even though his finger kept bleeding.

"Remus! Do something!"

James' panicked voice broke through the haze that had filled Remus' brain, just enough for Remus to notice that Sirius had cut himself deep, and the blood was not stopping. Thinking quickly, Remus grabbed Sirius' hand and brought it close to his face.

"Episkey." Remus said, barely focused enough to get the wand movement right. And then, because Remus was still partially thinking about the warmth coming from Sirius' thigh against his, and his big, stupid, terrible crush he'd been harboring, Remus bent down low and placed a soft kiss on the freshly sealed wound.

"All better now." Remus muttered absentmindedly before turning to face the windows once again.

Then he froze, and his face turned white.

Remus did not have to look at his friends to know that they were all staring at him, looking as shocked as he felt. Peter's eyes were wide with disbelief and his mouth was gaping. And although James looked smug, he too looked like he couldn't find the words to describe the odd scene he just witnessed.

Sirius, on the other hand, was positively glowing.

"What was that for?" He asked Remus with a bright smile that lit up the area around him. It was like kryptonite to Remus, though he knew his friends would never get that reference.

To be honest, Remus was wondering the same thing for himself. What had he done that for? Was he really so pathetic that a single point of contact could throw all his sensibility and self preservation out the window? Just to kiss Sirius on the hand?

Merlin, he was an idiot.

Besides the embarrassment Remus felt, he cleared his throat and tried his best to speak in a clear, steady voice. "Er, have you never heard of kissing it better?"

He hoped that Peter, another half-blood, would come to his rescue and explain everything away for him. But Peter remained silent.

"Ok, well uh... it's like muggle magic, you see. Usually performed by parents when their children get hurt, but the idea is that a kiss can make any injury feel better immediately." Remus explained while the others listened carefully. "My mum used to do it for me and I guess it must have just... slipped out? Sorry, Pads."

But Sirius didn't appear to be listening anymore. He seemed to be engaged in a silent conversation with James, the two of them going back and forth for some time. The waggling of James' eyebrows and Sirius' sneer were the only outward signs that they were communicating.

Finally, Sirius looked away from James with a scowl and focused his attention back on Remus.

"It's okay, Moons. I mean, it was an accident, right? I really don't mind." Sirius said with a shrug before he reached for a piece of toast - one that wasn't covered in spots of red.

Remus could do nothing but nod. It was an accident, but not entirely. Remus hadn't meant to kiss Sirius, but that didn't mean he didn't want to. In fact, it was practically the only thing he thought about, when he wasn't daydreaming about books and basking in warm weather, that is.

But he couldn't tell Sirius any of that. An accident was all it was and all it ever would be. It hadn't meant anything, and Remus was thankful for the olive branch Sirius extended, an offer to just let it all slide. To let it be forgotten.

Eventually, Remus went back to his own food, trying his best to ignore his embarrassment and the feeling of Sirius' leg still pressed firmly against his own.

Read on AO3

[sixeyesgojo]

I’ll Be Your Enemy

Summary: Gojo Satoru is willing to do anything for you. As long as it helps you heal from what haunted your night.

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Word count: 2,019

Content warning: implied but unspecified mental illness, mentions of self-harm (scratching), mentions of character death

A/N: Kind of stumbled upon this masterpiece of a song and I thought it would be ideal for some Gojo HURT. This entire thing takes place after the Cursed Womb Arc, so to say: after Yuji dies.

Song: Be Your Enemy by Taemin ft. Wendy

PREQUEL HERE: Pictures of You

Quickly, quickly. The key was inserted into the keyhole and turned. The door lock clicked faintly, signaling that the door has been unlocked. Satoru made sure to open and close the door softly as he entered the familiar apartment. Putting the spare key into his pocket, he slid out of his shoes. Usually he would have made some big noise to ‘announce his arrival’ but not this time. He left his shoes neatly at the genkan of the residence and slipped into the white slippers that always stood by the wooden door, an extra pair just for him.

23 minutes ago. “Hello?” Satoru had picked up the phone. “Gojo-san! Finally the call went through. I’m glad I am able to reach you now,” the voice on the other end said. “Yo, Ijichi, what’s up?” Satoru greeted. He had been sent to a pretty rural area of Japan to get rid of some pesky curses and the cell phone reception was poor in that place, so it wasn’t surprising that calls didn’t go through at times. In addition to that, some curses that manifested had an electrical ability, which impaired the cell towers at place even more. Almost as if planned. “Gojo-san, I think you need to come back as fast as you can,” the man with glasses on the other end of the line stated calmly. “Why?” was the only thing the white-haired sorcerer said in response. Somehow, he had a strange feeling in his gut. The tone in Ijichi’s voice didn’t do anything to calm this odd feeling either.

“It’s L/N-san. Something horrible happened and I don’t think she is taking it well. I did my best to calm her but I’m at wits’ end too…” Ichiji explained vaguely. Satoru was experiencing a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time - his stomach churned, it felt like his guts were wrenching inside him - at the mention of your name. “Ijichi,” he said in a relatively calm voice. He was lucky his voice wasn’t betraying him by showing what he truly felt in that moment. Satoru’s feet were set in rapid motion. “Stay calm. I need you to explain to me what exactly happened.”

Gojo Satoru might be many things. A tease, a teacher (supposedly), a cruel man, a strong sorcerer, a crazy coach, a walking menace to some, protective, an inspiration to a handful, a venti-sized manchild, idiotic, a sweets maniac, a lifelong student to Yaga, playful, a pillar of the Jujutsu world… but most importantly, he was a caring person. This goes without saying for his students and especially his loved ones. What Ijichi just said on the phone had left his heart stinging in his chest. He was in the kitchen, leaving the bag he brought with him on the table.

“Alright. I will tell you what happened, Gojo-san.” “I am listening.” “I am not sure if you are aware that this happened,” the suit-clad man began, “but one of the missions that was originally assigned to you - a case of utmost priority of a cursed womb - was suddenly taken off of your pile and reassigned…” Satoru’s eyes narrowed underneath the black fabric. The beginning already left a bad taste in his mouth; missions assigned to him were usually first grade or even special grade and he knew all too well that there were nowhere enough first grade, let alone special grade, sorcerers around. So who had it been assigned to? “...to your three first-year students,” Ijichi finished with a sigh. The sickening hotness of rage filled Satoru’s whole body. Already having realized the scenario that must have taken place, he still asked for confirmation, “What grade?” “...Special grade. One casualty.” The picture that you had taken of him, his first years and yourself (so carefully hung up on your wall at home) flashed in front of his inner eye. He clenched his teeth so hard as he wordlessly hung up; it hurt. It hurt so badly.

Such an atrocious inhumane act coated in malice. He was going to kill these dirty-playing bastards. However, that would have to wait until later. Much later. Satoru couldn’t leave you to your own devices, not in this state. The scenario he concluded for himself earlier replayed in his mind several times as he made his way through your completely dark apartment. His heart stung with each beat. It was almost as if someone drove a blade through his chest repeatedly.

When he stood in front of the closed door of your bedroom, he heard soft sobs coming from inside. Should he knock to let you know someone came? He wasn’t sure what to do. He gave the door two soft knocks and entered the room. It was your hunched form on the bed, no doubt. Satoru could not see your face with the way your back was facing him. Slowly he made his way to your bed and crouched down to face you. Your face was swollen and tear-stained, a sight he didn’t see often. His large hand rested on your shoulder and gently rubbed it, a silent question hung in the air.

Finally, you looked at him with your swollen eyes. Almost instantly, your sobs got louder and you reached out for the tall sorcerer. “S-Satoru…” you hiccuped in-between sobs. “Yeah. I’m here, I’m here,” he reassured you and stroked the wet hair out of your puffy face as you threw yourself around him, relentlessly crying into his broad shoulders. The white-haired man enclosed his arms around you but it wasn’t to hug you for comfort.

He scooped your delicate frame up and wrapped a warm blanket around you before leaning your body against the headboard of the bed. He sat next to you on the bed and guided your head onto his shoulders. Your violent sobbing stopped but tears were still flowing freely. 

If there was someone who understood the agony, bitterness and distress someone in this line of work had to face, it was Gojo Satoru. The path of a Jujutsu Sorcerer was painted black and red by trials and tribulations. This was why Satoru was so hell-bent on resetting the world he called his obligation. “If you feel exhausted, just lean on me for a second,” his calm voice sounded through the room. There was no answer from you. Even if there was silence, your feelings reached his heart and he spoke again. “Do you want to tell me about it?” he asked gently. Let it go with me. It’ll be easier to shake this burden off and share it, he thought. Of course, he would never dare force you. You nuzzled into his shoulder, as if to get even closer physically.

Ultimately, the woman sucked in a breath and with a shaky voice and recounted everything in her point of view. “I-I.. was on a mission when I… got a call from Ijichi. ‘Something wasn’t right’, he said and… t-told me about the cursed womb. As soon as I heard… that they sent y-your students there, I rushed to the location but…”, you hiccuped, “...I was too late… Y-Yuji, he-” You sobbed hysterically into his shoulder. Satoru turned to you to wipe away the tears and snot with a tissue. “Shhh, I’m here, I’m here”, he reassured once again, “I’ll fix it somehow.” It was just as he thought: those damned higher ups.

“H-How? This is not… something… you can f-fix, Satoru… not even you,” you continued bawling into his shoulders. I’ll kill all the higher ups, he thought to himself. “I don’t know but I’ll be damned if I can’t do something to change this detestable, loathsome and bloody world we live in,” his voice seethed with anger but it quickly died down as he re-focused on the main topic at hand, “there has to be something I can do, I’ll even drag out Sukuna myself if I have to.” “Please, Satoru…” Your whisper was faint and weak, “I… saw Yuji’s corpse... on the ground... I just want to see him one last time…”

Being a Jujutsu Sorcerer undoubtedly put a heavy strain on your mental wellbeing; nobody was spared from it, not even the great Gojo Satoru. Unfortunately, you were one of the people who were much more affected by incidents like these. He realized how badly it hurt your heart, he knew how much all the students meant to you and he knew just how much more fragile you were than you let on in front of other people. Where there is light, there must be shadow. It wasn’t like he was left unscathed by it either but right now, his utmost priority was you.

“Right,” the male sorcerer murmured more to himself. He still had to check something. “I want you to show me your arms, please.” If this had been a command, it had to be the gentlest one you had ever heard. Maybe it was the fact that there was a hint of pain infused in the way he spoke to you just now that made you show your arms so willingly, or maybe it was the fact that he always sounded so earnest when he took care of you like this. He genuinely cared; it was something you shouldn’t be surprised about, considering how long the two of you have known and cared for each other, but it never ceased to leave you in awe. You held out your arms for him to see.

As carefully as possible, the man examined your arms, his touch ghosting over your skin. It was a good thing he came prepared. The angry red lines, dry blood and broken skin on both of your forearms seemed to scream at him: you hurt yourself again. Without a doubt, he felt guilty. “I’ll be right back,” he announced as he slipped away from the bed after fixing your position and stroking your hair tenderly. A few moments later, your tall friend was back with a few medical supplies. Sitting back on the bed, he started to clean and treat your injuries. Besides a few hiccups and whimpers from your side, silence befell the room.

“Don’t you want to curse and insult me?” His eyes were still fixed on bandaging your arms. “No,” was all you said in response, fearing that your voice would give in. “You should though. After all, it was technically my fault...” Even though you were hurting, you knew Satoru was hurting all the same deep down in his heart, seeing that his precious students were the victims in this case. Satoru really treasured disciples. You took a few deep breaths before you replied, “Please don’t ever blame yourself for this… I know you wouldn’t have… let this shit happen. I know how much you adore them.”

“If it makes you feel better... if it can help you heal, I’ll take it. Any words are fine. I can deal with all the painful words…” Strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you to his chest. It was rare but his voice… unmistakably cracked for a second. A shaky chuckle left your lungs, “Please Satoru,” you wrapped your arms around him as well and nuzzled into his shirt again, “I could never treat you like that. You are everything to me but an enemy. Have always been.”

“I’ll be anything you need. I’ll even be your enemy if you ask me to… so please tell me, so that it doesn’t hurt you anymore…” he said shakily. The blindfolded man had masked his pain up until now, for your sake. It was your time to comfort him. Giving him shelter, like he had done for you. He had already experienced far too much hurt.

“Satoru, all I’ll ever need you to be in my life… is the important and comforting presence you have always been. Don’t change. If things are too much, too overwhelming and you become tired, you can lean on me too. I will never leave you.”

There was nothing left to say, no need. It was enough for both of you to be in each other’s comforting presence.

Taglist: @gojos-mochi​ @megumifushi @bleueluna

[jae-canikeepyou]

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

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time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.

[peeterparkr]

red; tom's version|one.

chapter one: sad, beautiful tragic. “Long handwritten note deep in your pocket”

pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (tom's not famous here) story summary: you’re reminiscing through your relationship months after the heartbreak and breakup. Wondering if it went wrong from the very start when Tom arrived at New York, and him being a cautionary tale or if the problems came along the way. Perhaps the key to find back your way to him is going back through the nice things before the heartbreak came. Or is it too painful to go all over again?

chapter summary: you haven't seen him since he ditched you, after months of wearing plaid you go out and realize he's back in new york warnings: angsty, I mean it's a breakup, swearing. word count: 7.3k playlist (updated after each chapter, including Red songs+ other for the chapter): Spotify | Apple Music

fic masterlist next chapter

a/n: Hi, I couldn't wait to share it so I said, screw it, I'm posting this. You don't know how excited I am to write this and share it with you. As you know, this is inspired by Red by Taylor Swift and will hurt. So I expect us all to be crumpled up pieces of paper wearing scarves by the end of this. (perennial is still coming, I'm just waiting on a few people who're reading it). SPECIAL THANKS TO @erodasghosts for reading it and hyping me up and helping me figure this all out. I hope you guys all like it as much as I did. The story is set in New York. Please give feedback!

One month after the breakup.

Strong whiskey, on the rocks. That was his drink of choice that night. The night before had been a beer. You knew you could imagine the taste of his lips by only looking at him. You wondered if he’d gone there for a second night for the same reason you had.

When you had seen him across the place the night before, you had tried to decide how to feel. We always think we will react one way or another when we see our official heartbreak walking through. Victorious as he is perfectly dressed, with his hair flowing.

He hadn’t brought her. Which you didn’t know how to feel about.

The day before you had not been alone, Jules, Matty, and Lula were there.

“Shit, the axolotl at 10 o'clock, you’ve got to be shitting me,” Lourdes, Lula, had whispered before sipping her drink, a Long Island Tea. “We are celebrating she’s doing better, can’t fucking believe this,” she hissed at Jules who only lifted her chin slightly to see who she was referring to. “What the fuck is he doing here? Ay, es que, con qué huevos se atreve a venir aquí? Que no mame.” [with what balls did he dare to come here? He shouldn’t fuck with us. ]

You loved hanging out with Lula and listening to her very refined Spanish cursing.

“It’s not him,” Julia said.

You tried looking back to see who they were referring to. “Who is—?”

“Y/N, wait I just noticed the haircut!” Matt pointed out, reaching over, getting your attention back to them and not at whatever they were referring to. “It looks great. It’s like a new you!”

This new you. The one that had been screwed over twice. Men really have the nerve when it comes to breaking hearts. They recklessly go in and let you believe love comes in all shades of colors, passionate red like the roses they send, and tender pinks like your sweet innocence that they end up stealing. But they never tell you it’ll be you all alone in a dark room with shades of grey under a flickering light that barely warms you.

The new you, which was still a bit lost. Your old self was a stranger to you now. You had no idea who this new you was, she was quiet now. Didn’t have a heart because someone had stolen it and broken it and left it behind a dumpster. Still trying to find it. The new you wasn't.. you.

Your friends were glad, however, they finally got you to go out again. After weeks of wearing plaid and watching Fleabag, and even considering watching Greys Anatomy, a low point, you had finally decided to come back to see if there was any sunshine left for you.

It’s important to point out that you had been broken-hearted and almost crazy when the breakup had happened. Very… delusional. You were not proud of the way you’d reacted. Although you wouldn’t have reacted any other way.

The city had been quiet, the red lights seemed to last longer, and the crowds would often swallow you. The city you once loved was now an open book of a relationship that seemed real, should’ve known it was all fiction.

In your dreams they’d be bright, colorful. The village is aglow. Cold days with warm hearts. Like his.

You’d been cold ever since.

“Ah, yeah, the haircut. Got it today. Lula’s idea” The haircut had come as the solution to a problem that would never be solved. As if cutting your hair meant there was something you had the power on. You didn’t.

How stupid was it? You couldn’t control your life.

“It suits her well, doesn’t it?” Lula admitted proudly.

You still had his picture engraved in your heart. You still dreamed he would come back and say it was all a nightmare.

“It’s nice, I’m glad to have you back,” Jules commented. Julia had probably been the most surprised with the news of the breakup, she had almost gone and killed Tom when he had….unimportant. She hadn’t, though, and she had yet to tell you the reason why. Julia had been mysterious since.

“I’m glad to be back,” you confirmed. You’d ordered a beer, and maybe you shouldn’t have. Stella Artois, his one favorite. You pocketed the beer cap. “Though I was not gone.”

Matt watched you, him and Julia had recently started dating. Best friends since kids who just recently confessed their feelings for each other, took them long enough. “How back are you, though?”

“Meaning?” You asked, taking a sip.

Matt shrugged, “I could introduce you to some friends from work, there’s this hot guy—“

“No,” you interrupted him, leaving the bottle down as you had almost choked. “No, no. Not in the dating area yet. Won’t be in a long time. Still healing.”

Lula still had her eyes glued elsewhere. “Healing from a bullet hole, y/n, whatever you’re doing isn’t working, and band aids won’t fix it—Jules it is, I swear to god it’s him.”

“It’s not him,” Julia rolled her eyes.

“Ay, que sí!” [he is]

“Who?” You asked.

Julia took your hands, “you know Lula,” she rolled her eyes. “I love that you ordered a beer.”

“Yeah,” you gulped. “Beer is universal language for men as in: ‘don’t get close to me.’” A lesson someone dear had taught you once.

Matt tilted his head in agreement, “Yeah.”

“Really?” Lula frowned, “should’ve ordered one. Next time I’ll ask for my drink but instead of a glass I’ll ask them to put it in a beer bottle.”

“Wouldn't it be easier to order a beer?” Matt suggested.

“But then I’d break our tradition.”

Matt watched her, “you really are something.”

You chuckled.

“Why is beer seen as not—feminine?” Matt questioned.

Julia shrugged. “It’s beyond me, really. It’s a drink.”

“Like does my drink make me less of a man?” Matt watched his glass, another Long Island Tea. A stupid inside joke you all had.

“No,” you admitted. “But you know how society is. Since it’s sweet, it’s got to be—“

“Oh, no, no, I love you, y/n, but tonight I don’t want you lecturing us on it, no, tonight we are having fun, ok?” Lula reminded you. “We will not talk about femininity or lack of a beer—or whatever your agenda is up to these days, which, hey! Why does y/n get to break the rule?” Lula questioned. “No Long Island Tea?

Julia glared at her, “Because she can do whatever she wants tonight,” she hissed and then turned to you. “But how are you feeling? It’s your first time going out in months, is it as fun?” Julia was the one to try to cheer you up the most.

No, it wasn’t fun.

“I—feel good!” You lied. Although you were not. But you guessed that’s the response they wanted after seeing you laying down on the ground and crying yourself to sleep. Staring at windows and walking down in the rain. They wanted you to feel better.

Your body was covered in scars.Though, they were from adventures.

“Bullshit,” Lula intruded. “You seem sad. Maybe I’ll get some shots,” she announced before going to get some.

“Well,” you chuckled. “My first time going out and you bring me back to the place where it all started?” You answered cynically but then shrugged. “I’m—I…no. I just—It’s weird. I still see him everywhere, and as I’m here it’s like watching a movie of our greatest moments,” you admitted. “Like hey, look over there, it’s Tom and Y/N’s greatest moments,” you stated, Lula got back. “Let’s start memory lane…”and you sighed and continued with the best presenter voice you had. “Here you’ll wonder how the hell did it go so wrong since they were so perfect, what the hell went wrong, when did it turn into some sad stupid love affair. You’ll be asking yourself hey, they seemed in love, over there, they danced! Over there… they sang a song together! See over there? There was a fucking jukebox in which they have memories! Oh they have memories there too! And you’ll ask yourself, he made it seem real, what the hell happened?” You sighed exhaustedly. “What happened? What the fuck happened? How was I so stupid?” You ran your hands through your face.

Your friends only watched you, with pity, sadness. Even Lula had turned her gaze guilty.

You cleared your throat, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No,” Lula sighed, “it’s our fault for bringing you here. We’re fucking idiots. Besides he is—Julia I swear to god, he is there.” Lula raised her hand and Julia quickly pulled it down.

Julia bit her lip, “I—hadn’t realized how much Tom there is here.”

“Yeah.”

“He called me—“Matt had started.

“No, no, we can’t talk about him, baby,” Julia reminded him. Matt widened his eyes and nodded.

You blinked, “no, it’s—He called you? Tom?” Why had Tom called Matty? What for?

“Yeah, had a missed call,” Matt explained, ignoring his girlfriend. “I—it was this morning.”

You felt your chest twist. “Yeah, I get a lot of those too.”

Perhaps he wanted to talk to you and thought Matty was dumb enough to give you the phone.

Julia glared at Matt. “We promised not to—“

“No, hey,” you stopped her. “I—sorry, I brought him up.”

“But we shouldn’t talk about him,” Julia insisted. “Tonight is all about having fun,” she stated as she handed everyone their shots.

“No, it’s alright,” you said. “I’m fine talking about it.”

Lula turned her gaze to you. “Shouldn’t you hate him?”

Were you supposed to hate someone who gave you something so beautiful? Just because it’s over doesn’t mean you have to look back and hate it.

“No,” you answered simply.

Matt watched you. “Wait, really?”

You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m—I decided I’m thankful for everything. He really… I… I mean I knew from the start he was trouble. But he got me to get rid of Will. So I’m thankful for Tom. He showed me some beautiful things about him, about myself and… I’m thankful. Even the part when he broke my heart.”

It was a lie. Partly. You had been so full of doubts that you only tried wondering why it had gone so wrong. Or course, the lie was there. His lies. But how could any of it be a lie?

Julia smiled gently, “You’re really a grown up.”

“Or very stupid.” Lula commented.

“Thanks, Lula, I appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes. “I… well, I’ve gotta admit I was pretty stupid.”

Lula shrugged, “Hey, I don’t blame you, boy came in with an accent, he had a cute smile, he was hot, I must admit, and he wasn’t one of those Brooklyn fuckboys that take you to the rooftop and offer you a whiteclaw to watch the sunrise together,” Lula gave in.

“Oh, and they take candid pictures, and they say that their phone camera isn’t as good as their polaroid,” Julia laughed, “But hey, you’re lucky they took you to the rooftop, they never take anyone there, they took you there just because you’re…”

“Different,” Julia, Lula and you chanted.

Matt laughed, “You guys are the worst.”

“Anyway,” Lula said. “We should drink these,” she pointed at the shot glasses as she raised her own. “I came here to get drunk. So, to Y/N being thankful Tom was a piece of shit even when the boy had a dreamy accent?”

You closed your eyes, and let out a defeated dry chuckle. “Yes, to that.”

“To the piece of shit, then!” Lula grinned as the shots clinked and were downed. You instantly regretted drinking it.

Lula scowled as she had her eyes glued back at the bar, “It’s him, Julia, it’s him! What is he doing here? Pendejo, I swear to god I’ll go kill him.” She was furious, and you tried once again following her gaze.

The bar was crowded, red lights crossed around the place, with girls walking with tall heels, trying to smile and nod at guys who were talking to them but clearly were not of interest to them. Friends laughing, people flirting. You didn’t know who your friends were watching.

But the bar seemed to be enough of a reminder of him. How he had made you feel like crowds were never there, and how whenever you had been with him everything disappeared just to be with him.

“Who are we killing?” You questioned.

“Is new y/n a murderer?” Asked Matt. Matt and Julia were your oldest friends. The three of you grew up in Staten Island, and now moved to the crowded places.

Lula coughed. “Hope she is.” Lula, on the other hand, you’ve met in college, she was a very defined addition to the friend group. With more personality. A strong one. Lula, Julia and you shared a small apartment.

Julia cleared her throat.

“The fucking scarf,” Lula scowled.

“What scarf?” Matt asked. And you had the same question.

Julia whispered to her boyfriend’s ear who had turned cold. He lifted his head.

“But it’s not.”

“It is him,” Matt confirmed to Lula. “Jules, it is.”

And now your three friends were acting strange. Usually they did but this was strang-er. They all shared looks, Julia struggled with her hands.

They were watching you with pity but you’d gotten used to that. After the breakup they had been extra careful around you, kinder, you guessed.

Fools they were to believe that by not mentioning him you wouldn’t think of him. He was a memory that would haunt you for the rest of the days.

“So, y/n,” Julia was clearly hiding whatever Lula was seeing.

“Wasn’t he in London? What in this fucking world is he doing here?” Lula continued.

“Shut up!” Julia ordered.

“London?” You asked and you lifted your head, and any noise that was bustling before had stopped.

Tom.

Tom was there.

Thomas.

Tom who had broken your heart. In every possible way that he could’ve. Like he had planned it. Like he was aware.

He was there, on a stool with a beer in his hand and wearing a red scarf. The red scarf. As if he was mocking you.

Tom.

Did he pride on hurting you?

He had always said you were invincible. That you were unrivaled in matters of the heart. Was he proud he had beaten the unbeaten?

You’d always thought he would.

When we love deeply, getting hurt comes as a given. But when we love deeply, we are never expecting it to come. And when it does come the skies cannot turn grayer. Funny thing, you were a fan of the rain but when the rain doesn’t cease, the hope doesn’t perdure.

But he was back in your life. Or at least he had been in the same room as you after months.

What was he doing back in New York with your scarf?

You turned back to your own table, breathing in quickly, bringing your hand to your chest in an attempt to calm yourself down.

You saw your friends speaking but you couldn’t make a word of what they’re saying. Your heart was rushing. Thomas was there. Tom. Your Tom. And there was a part of you that had completely forgotten over the heartbreak and wanted to run to him.

Kiss him, try to fix it. Try to bring back the beautiful thing you both had. Because it was. And it hurt looking back.

You were having trouble breathing now, the heartbreak had come.

That’s the worst thing about heartbreak. You never saw it coming, though you should’ve. Though it was beautiful you’d known from the start you’d end up hurt. But when a lie is crafted so beautifully, how could you?

“It’s him.” The words had come in whispers.

You barely remembered what had happened next. You had only stood up, decisive to leave, you’d seen him try to walk his way to you. You’d heard him call your name, but you hadn’t turned back, you had seen Matty stop him from running to you.

It was blurry. You didn’t know how you got home. Desperately trying to understand why he was there and how the night had turned too badly.

Lula and Matt had come back later to find Julia trying to comfort you, hugging a pillow that you were sure he had slept on. Breathless.

But it was in the past now, you were there again. Same bar, both in stools far away.

You were almost sure he’d gone to that bar in hopes of finding you again.

Just like you’d gone again.

His eyes the night before were guilty. You only took a deep breath, you remembered trying to avoid his glance at any chance as you had walked out.

Why were you there again?

That feeling in your chest growing, like there was something heavy expanding. Yet your stomach falling smaller. The pain was but a shield, as if it was creating a special protection around your heart, and though it hurt it was enough for it to make your heart strong to leave the place.

You didn’t want to see Tom. You hadn’t talked to him since. Even when he’d tried to call. Even when you’d tried calling.

Not when you had replayed the breakup over and over and over again since he was gone.

Everyone deals with breakups in different ways. Yours, specifically, was avoiding it. Everything and everyone. Especially Tom.

It was hard when he was everywhere. In that tattoo he’d convinced you to get, in that ring he’d left, in that cereal box that you still hadn’t finished. Whenever you listened to a song he’d recommended. Whenever you’d open Netflix and that series you had started watching together was still recommended to you even when you’d deleted it.

Everywhere.

You couldn’t use your favorite colors because you could hear it, in the back of your head “I love how it looks on you.” “You should wear more blue, it suits you.”

Even your stupid laugh remind you of him. “Your laugh is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard, even if it’s so ugly.”

You missed the person you were when he was with you. How everything was happy. Who was that y/n? Who didn’t mind if she was slightly late to a place because he’d come with you? Who didn’t feel alone at parties when she knew nobody because you knew him?

A y/n that existed only for a short period of time when he’d been around and that he’d shattered like glass when he had the chance.

You missed that y/n.

The y/n that would sometimes lose her breath and catch it back when he walked into the room. A y/n that sang along to her favorite songs all day. The one that would give her heart in a rush to him. The one that watched movies no matter if they were good or not.

Life had colors back then.

Now you were full of regrets and of doubts. Wondering what you had done wrong? Where did it lead you?

You looked up at him then. He was staring down at his glass.

There was a slight trace of him still there, the Tom you once loved. The one with the silly smile and the gentle chuckle, the one with the jokes about everything.

You wondered how much of that y/n he saw too.

You were the same two people, in essence. But how different you were now.

The Tom you knew before finding out it was a lie.

There was still a hint. You knew. But there was so much of him in you that it was hard to see if you still were there. Or the Tom you thought you knew. Not the one with the lie. Or maybe this was the truest Tom he could ever be.

He had to move on, rather quickly, you recalled. If he ever did.

There was a stupid reminder of you in his hand, that red scarf from the very first day.

You still remembered how it all started, a stupid red scarf. He kept it, then, and he wore it.

You had ordered a beer, too. You pocketed the cap again.

But there was an image in your mind, maybe he had gone back and probably had his arm around her and he laughed at a joke she made. Maybe she was funnier than you. Definitely prettier, with her hair falling down all the way to her waist, her clothing accentuating everything you didn’t have.

You recalled having to leave the room when you found out. You had been a mess.

Leaning against a wall as you caught your breath before the tears came down, as if he had pierced right through it. A pain chest that had expanded all the way on your body, not sure how you were able to keep walking back to your place. Falling down to your knees when you did.

Pain. Words failed to describe such a deep sentiment.

But it was gone now. Not entirely but at least you could hold your breath fine when he was just across the room.

What went wrong?

You could ask him. He was right there.

Maybe even tell him how you had lost sight. He hadn’t walked up to you. He was nervous, but he seemed calm enough to see you were there. You were still unsure why you had gone there.

Maybe all the good things were enough to bring you there, maybe the fact that you still didn’t believe it was a lie brought you there. Maybe the fact that one of those pictures from that photobooth was still in a locket. So stupid.

He fiddled with the glass.

You waited and waited but he didn’t approach you. He took out a paper out of his pocket as he stared at it.

You wouldn’t approach him. No matter how happy he had made you once, you wouldn’t walk to him. No matter how beautiful it was. No matter if you were lonely and that when you dared to sleep he’d be haunting your dreams.

It was a tragedy now. What you both were, and not even worth enough to try and save it. You knew you were haunting him too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here.

He was shakin, as he stared at you, nervous. He downed his drink, you guessed it was for some liquid courage and stood up, with the note in one hand and your red scarf in the other.

Your own courage for coming here was gone, as you saw his intentions, the urge to run you had the night before was becoming you. But he couldn’t walk. He had to sit down again, rubbing his face.

The courage that had come when choosing what Lula called the ‘revenge black dress’ was nowhere in sight. You were cold and regretting putting it on.

“I can’t do this,” you said to yourself and quickly let out some dollars to pay for your drink before picking up your stuff to leave.

You saw he panicked when he saw you leaving, he quickly called the bartender to pay for his drink.

You closed your coat as you were shaking yourself, punishing yourself for going there. Why had you gone there? The man had broken your heart? Were you really there to see him?

Was your heart foolish enough to ignore the warnings in your mind once again?

You walked your way to get to the subway station, how irrelevant you were through the crowds. You hadn’t felt this way for a while, caring for the crowds. But you had to get through them. There was a part of you that wished Tom was following you after. But the crowds didn’t let you see if he was.

Besides, you shouldn’t want that.

You finally managed to get to the station, you clung to your purse as you stared at the tracks, waiting for the next train to come. Peaceful it seemed, the station. As peaceful as New York could be. You guessed if you cried nobody would care.

“y/n!” You heard your name in the distance and you couldn’t handle it.

You took a deep breath and shook your head, angrily. Why had you gone? You could’ve easily kept ignoring his calls. You could’ve stayed in your apartment, crying as you watched SNL videos on youtube, or rewatching a cartoon for the hundredth time, letting your own sadness and self pity swallow you.

But you had gone to him. This was your fault. You should’ve taken a cab, instead, he would know you’d get at this station and he for sure would know what train you’d take.

“y/n, y/n!” He kept calling as he finally arrived next to you. “Sorry I would’ve gotten here faster but the damn MetroCard-”

“I’m not doing this, Tom,” you stated before he could go on rambling like the idiot he was. You couldn’t do it. “Not here, not anywhere. I don’t know what you’re doing here.”

“I…” His face was kind, and he seemed to be nervous. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping, probably the jet lag.

You took a moment to look at him, he didn’t look as victorious as you had thought he was. His hair was messy, and his cheeks flushed, the buttons on his shirt were not buttoned right.

Seeing him again, with that signature look he had made you want to go down to your knees.

“Aren’t you supposed to be back in London?” You snapped. “With that pretty girl-”

“No, no, I’m-I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Tom stuttered. “I was an idiot.”

You stared into his eyes, you were not ready for this. You were not ready to look into his stupid eyes. You looked away. “That’s all you have to say?” You tried walking away from him..

He shook his head. “No, no, no, no, I… No, I actually… I had this… I wrote down my apology,” Tom confessed. He showed you a sad, handwritten paper, now slightly teared up with the ink running. “I… I had….”

You looked down at it, his messy handwriting, crinkled with words scratched down. “You wrote it down?”

You didn’t know why you felt your heart warm. This kind of stuff was why you couldn’t understand what had happened. Someone like him, who writes his apologies down. Someone who stutters when he’s speaking.

“Yeah, I… but I spilled my drink on it after seeing you fled,” He explained, swallowing hard. “I… I… I had written it down so I wouldn’t forget it but now I realize how stupid that is… I’m… I’m really sorry, y/n.” .

You could hear the train coming. You were seeing him again. It hit you right there. And this was not the reaction you thought. You had said you would be delusional, crying and fighting and questioning him why the fuck he had done that.

Yet you weren’t. You were only watching him, eyes full of tears wanting to slide down but unable to. But there was that pain still in your chest.

How could he ever dare to hurt you that way? “I don’t want to talk to you,” you said. And meant it. “Please leave me alone.” You said before walking into the train.

“Y/N, please, no, please, please, listen to me,” He followed you in, the scarf still in his hand.

You tried sitting as far away as you could. Arms and legs crossed as you tried breathing in.

He sat beside you and you changed seats. He sighed but followed you again. “Please, I need to talk to you. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well you did,” you snapped. “You did, and now you come here a month later with a handwritten note apology thinking I will be fine with it?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had to solve-Please, would you listen?” Tom asked, knowing damn well he had to ask, and not just straight up blurt it out.

“Why would I, Tom?” You turned to him, with a tear traveling down your cheek. You were incredulous. “You’re kidding me, right? I… You… You think that just because you show up with that stupid face of yours and my scarf I’ll want to listen to you? You’re an idiot.”

He sighed and reached to give you the scarf. You ignored it.You were furious now.

The other people on the train were certainly getting a show. A guy with a backpack was trying to pretend he wasn’t listening but his reactions were giving it away. Another woman pretended to keep reading her book but she hadn’t turned any pages.

Tom took the scarf back staring at it. “I need to explain everything to you.”

“What if I don’t want an explanation?” You snapped. Though you did. You had been waiting for one, you wanted one. You would beg for it. But your pride was taking the wheel of the conversation. “Don’t you think it’s fucking late for it?”

“Is it?” Tom turned back to you.

“Yes!” You couldn’t believe him. But this seemed a bit too familiar of a conversation. “And beside no explanation would make me forgive you!” You stated, whispering, not wanting any of the attention you were receiving.

“I’m not… I… If you just listen to me,” Tom said.

You glared, “I don’t want anything to do with you.”

“Then why did you come to the bar?” He asked.

He fucking asked.

Your eyes widened. He had gone there. He knew. He fucking knew you’d gone back because you wanted an explanation. Or so he thought. No, you’d gone back because… Yes, because you wanted an explanation. Because everything he’d done had been beautiful. Until the heartbreak. He had crafted and vexed his way into your cold stupid heart and then he had gone and pierced right through it, crushed it.

You wanted to ask why. Why did he do it so vehemently?

You didn’t answer, instead you moved one seat away. He kept his eyes on you.

“You wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t want an explanation,” he said. “Or to see me, at least. I know I did, I needed to see you.”

You saw the guy with the backpack purse his lips, knowing that Tom had got you. There was little context for them. The girl with the book directed a glance to you, trying to read your emotions.

If they knew, they’d be on your side and yelling at him as well.

He rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.

“I didn’t, it was a coincidence,” you answered coldly.

“No, it bloody wasn’t,” Tom scoffed and then sat up. “No, I’m… No, but you know, you went to the bar for a reason.”

“And I left for a million more,” you frowned.

Tom pursed his lips and took out the paper again, trying to make out whatever he’d written before. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes traced through the note.

“Are you genuinely trying to read it? Don’t you know what you’re supposed to apologize for?”

Tom looked up, “So you do want me to apologize?”

The guy with the backpack squeezed his eyes shut, knowing Tom had fucked up.

“You’re kidding, right? Yes, you have to apologize, what you did is really, really shitty!” You pointed out.

“But you won’t forgive me, then?” Tom watched you.

“I don’t know,” you said and he looked up, a beaming gaze. “No, I won’t.”

He wrinkled his eyes, “I… I know I’m supposed to apologize, not to expect you to forgive. I'm just…”

He gulped, and then sat back, staring at the dirty walls and lights. He had dressed up. Badly, but he had tried looking good, you could tell. You could smell his lotion, too.

He was fiddling with the paper, crumpling up and then it fell to the floor. You looked at it and somehow related to it, not sure how.

You took a deep breath so you wouldn’t kill him and turned to him. “I have questions for you, if you answer them I might consider listening to you.”

Tom’s eyes brightened up. “Yes, yes, anything.”

You eyed him up and down as he watched you with begging eyes. You avoided his gaze. Tom followed your gaze as you tried to figure out what was the first thing you could ask him. Why had he hurt you?

Why did he not stop and think before making you fall in love with him?

Why did he not stop and tell you the truth?

“Where are you staying?” You asked,

Tom blinked. “Is that… is that the question?”

“No, but I know you don’t know how to fucking get anywhere,” you said.

Tom gulped, “I… uh, again with Harrison,” he explained.

You sighed. You remembered Harrison alright. And though there was a petty part inside you, you would help him out. Knowing he’d always get lost in the city. Though you could let him get lost, so you’d have to go after him and spend a bit more time. With an excuse, because you didn’t seem to have any excuse to be with him.

It hurt. What hurt the most was trying not to look back at the incredible moments you had because none of them were true.

You sighed. “Okay, when we get down you’ll take the F train—“

Tom stopped you, taking your hand. “No, wait, I don’t care if I get lost, okay, I… I just.”

You snatched your hand away from his cold hands he had. You darkened your gaze at him.

“Please, Y/n, I just need a chance. If you don’t want to listen… maybe I’ll just…” He handed you the note.

You crossed your arms, and tapped your foot, trying to decide whether or not to give it to him. “Fine,” you took the note.

You've gotten to your stop. So you stood up.

The girl with the book and the guy with the backpack watched you both as you walked out, pitying they couldn’t follow the drama.

Tom followed after you, he licked his lips. “You… you had questions, right?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, taking yet another heavy breath. You turned on your feet to look at him “One, did you lie to me?”

Tom was taken back by this, his eyes, consternated, only watched you. He gulped. “What?”

“Did you lie to me?

“I… well.”

You were getting desperate. “Did you ?”

“I didn’t lie about how I felt,” he said. You knew he wasn’t lying about it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t have ever lied about how he felt because you knew he had felt it too, a bit, at least,

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“I mean it, I…” Tom gulped. “I really liked you.”

“Yeah, I know, you liked me yadda, yadda,” you started. Liked not loved. “Cut the bullshit for once, did you or did you not lie to me?”

Tom took a deep breath. “Yes. But I had feelings for you.”

You bit your inner cheeks. “Uh-huh, yes, okay, good, yes, you acknowledge it. So, we have two statements here, Tom. You say you had feelings yet you lied to me,” you squinted. “Sounds-”

Tom gulped and avoided your gaze. “I know yes,” he looked down. “But, if you give me-”

“Ah, buh-buh, nope, I’m just gathering my thoughts here,” you coughed. “I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what you felt.”

Tom shook his head in confusion. “I—I’m”

“Go on,” you motioned your hand.

“Y/N,” he said. And the way he dared to say your name was like having a knife right through you. “I had—I have feelings for you,” he said looking right into your eyes.

He didn’t say what feelings.

You were not sure where you wanted to go with this. “Fine, my next question…” you really didn’t know where this was going. “So, alright, you…” You couldn’t even phrase it. “You… made me fall in love with you knowing….Well, we both know what you did. What you hid from me. You’re a liar who made me—“

Tom took a deep breath. “Yes, but I didn’t… plan that.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh, so it’s my fault?” You stepped back. “Sorry for developing feelings for you. Sorry for ruining your life—“

Tom closed his eyes, “No, no, look, I… wasn’t. I didn’t come here expecting to meet you, I didn’t want… It just happened, okay, I never thought—You're making it sound like it’s some big master plan. I—I never planned—I never would’ve ever planned on hurting you.”

You watched him, incredulous. “Thomas you do realize what you did to me?”

“I do.”

“No, you don’t! You’re trying to make me seem like I’m crazy for not even wanting to talk to you!” You called him out.

“I’m not, I’m just saying that if you’re here—you must miss it too, you know it was too real, and you want it back, possibly—M-maybe not, but if you came to the bar tonight it was in hopes of finding me again because you knew I’d be there, and you want to feel how you felt before, and i just… you know I miss it and that you knew I didn’t lie—“

You glared at him. “You did lie!”

“Okay—yes, yes I did—But not entirely, I just happened to omit one truth—“

“One very important truth,” you snarked.

“Fine but—please listen,” he tried to convince you. “and I’m sorry, okay? I—I didn’t want to hurt you. But I never planned this. It just happened. I didn’t come here expecting to fall in love with anyone, I didn’t come here trying to date, and I never expected it to be someone as complex—“

“Complex?”

“Yes, I never came to New York trying to find the most mental relationship I’ve ever had—“

“Mental?” You snapped.

“Yes! I love you but you’re fucking crazy! And I am too! I’m fucking crazy and mental but I—I—I loved being crazy and mental with you! We are fucking mental! Driving to nowhere? Breaking into places? Getting a jukebox on the subway? That’s mental! But—but I love that about you, alright? Don’t you get it? I could’ve stayed in London, I could've been the asshole who just ditched you and lied to you—“

You scoffed. “Well that’s comforting!”

“But I’m—I’m here, ain’t I? And I know I fucked up, I know, I accept that, I’m the asshole here, and I know you’ll never—I hid it from you because I didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t even get it myself. I’m here to give you my version of it. I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you…I am…,I am in love with you, and I never planned that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone else, it just happened. I may have thought it was just—Some fling, initially.”

You laughed cynically. “A fling.”

He gulped. “And the moment I realized what was really going on—”

“You left, that’s what you fucking did, when you realized it was way too real for you, you destroyed the one real thing you’ve ever known,” you barked, he stepped back. “I fell in love with you, I—I—and then you ditched me, and I thought that was the worst thing you could ever do to me but then I realized that it wasn’t real! I—you were never mine, Tom! I simply was—a break you needed or—a fling.”

“It wasn’t that—“

You watched him. Looking so innocent, kind eyes and tender lips. You would’ve believed him had he come before.

“You used me!” You snapped, the words that had wanted to come for a while just blurted out. “I just can’t believe you,” you said. “You don’t feel sorry.” You shook your head, your voice was cracking. “You're not sorry because you don’t understand. You don’t know what I went through, and if you had come earlier, if you hadn’t left me, I probably would have believed you. But—No! No!” You stepped back. “No!”

“I did call! You never picked up the phone! I tried—“Tom started.

“Was I really expected to pick it up? Let’s get back to it. Shall we? The facts. Did you or did you not date me? And made me fall in love with you?”

Tom sighed. “I—yes.”

“Did you lie?”

“…yes.”

You nodded. “Was I the other one?”

Tom squinted his eyes. “No… yes, no.”

You took a deep breath. “Did you leave me without an explanation?”

Tom looked down. “I did.”

“Did you ditch me?”

Tom looked everywhere and nowhere. “Yes,” he answered, defeated.

“Now, do you think I can ever forgive you?”

Tom didn’t answer.

You reached for your purse, for the locket that dug deep inside. “I don’t know you,” you stated giving him the locket, the stupid locket you’d bought as a joke when making fun of other couples and now laughed in your face. “Whatever happened means nothing. Because that’s the thing Tom. Everything we lived was a lie, those two people in the locket are not us, because you weren’t who you said you were, no matter how much I loved it, it’s not true and though it was too many emotions all at once I’m—It’s not real, not for you. I spent this whole time thinking I wanted you to apologize but I don’t want it. That charming guy wasn’t truly you because you omitted one very important thing. You—What were you thinking? Were you planning to never say it? Or did you plan it like that? Just ditching me, hoping I wouldn’t find out—“

Tom took a deep breath. “No—No, I didn’t. I just—-I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you and I should’ve fixed it before—-“

“No, no you didn’t because it wasn’t enough for you.”

Tom gulped, “It was, it was—-the best thing I’ve ever had.”

“And you ruined it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How little words mean when you’re a little too late, huh?” And that was the cue you needed to walk away. He silently watched you as you tried not to cry.

“I’m really sorry.” He said.

Was he?

“What if I try to prove it to you?” He asked as you were steps away from him.

You didn’t stop.

“If we go over this, you’ll see I never lied about it.” He continued.

“I already went over it, I remember everything, Tom, and maybe that’s why I don't want to talk to you.”

Tom walked behind, slowly. “I just happened to be very unlucky when it came to my own circumstances,” he reached over. “And I wish the timing had been better. But you’re right, it’s the one real thing I’ve ever had and I lost it because I hid something in fear of losing you. I lied because it was too good to be true. And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I think you deserve to know why. But you went to the bar for a reason, and you had the locket for another.”

You stopped this time. Looking down at the floor and then at his hand, holding your stupid scarf. You shook your head, you really didn’t want to go through it all over again.

“I know you won’t forgive me,” he stated. “But I can’t let you go. You’re everywhere. And I miss the person I was when you were around, and I won’t stop fighting because you’re everywhere. Dreams, nightmares.”

Funny. You were his demons too.

“Am I haunting your nightmares?” You asked. Tom only watched you.

He took a deep breath. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just need—I really need you to listen to my version.”

“Fine then, let’s go down this sad, beautiful tragic love affair.”

-

next chapter

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[lokiskitten]

Request for @cara-serpens !!

“Loki is tortured, really badly tortured. He may be freed from the avengers and female reader ( which he knows well as she was always friendly to him ) but nobody really cares about his condition. It’s not just injuries and pain, but also pure fear as soon as someone approaches him. Will female readers succeed in making Loki feel safe? Can she take care of his wounds on the body and in the soul and give him a feeling of secureness and comfort? How would he react?”

Loki Laufeyson | gruesome torture

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

plot : after finding out that the Avengers have been secretly torturing Loki instead of sending him back to Asgard, you step forward and offer him your help in hopes that he will be able to recover.

warnings : dark!avengers, mention of physical torture, electrocution, mention of open wounds.

Screams of pain echoed through the underground levels of the Avengers’ compound, fuzzy sounds accompanying the groans and whines as you stepped forward through the hallway. You had been originally tasked to check up on the building’s batteries, the box being located a few floors bellow earth- but after hearing such noises you couldn’t help but grow curious but concerned regarding who could’ve been making such sounds. Following the screams, your feet were soon to lead you until a closed door against which you pressed your ear in order to receive confirmation regarding your doubts and chosen path. The screams had to come from the inside of this closed area. Without hesitation, your hand pushed against the metallic door and allowed it to open, shock filling your organism upon stumbling onto such a horrific sight.

None but the Asgardian god of mischief who was known as Loki appeared to be tied down against a metallic table, wrists and ankles restrained by leather straps which held hip back from escaping this gruesome situation. He was receiving electric shocks coming straight from a device locked against his scalp, which had easily led his hair to get messy. However, other form of bruises appeared to cover the rest of his naked body, whether they were sealed or open wounds. By the table’s side stood Tony- visibly enjoying to provide his enemy with pain though it was none but Banner who controlled the entire torture device. Whilst Stark simply wished to see pain and fear reflect in Loki’s eyes, Banner stood there in an uncomfortable manner. You could tell Tony had probably forcefully dragged him into this mess.

You were soon to understand that your leader had lied to all of you- claiming that they had lost Loki through the battle only to be able to sneak him down here in order to make his own justice. But this simply didn’t work out for you. Banner was the first one to notice your presence, though you had to speak up in order to catch Tony’s attention. “What are you doing?” You asked, watching as Iron Man’s head lifted to make eye contact with you. He knew that now was too late to back away, and that his prideful self would have to admit what he was doing without speaking a single lie to you if he wanted to maintain his reputation. “Just giving him a taste of his own medicine.” Tony answered arrogantly, easily leading you to drift off to the doctor in hopes to make this whole thing stop. You were aware that there was no way in hell you would’ve been able to make Tony change his mind.

“Stop this.” You ordered, earning a rather uncomfortable eye contact with Bruce who then looked towards his superior as if he was physically asking him if he was allowed to obey your order. “Banner- if you do this-..” Tony began, only to end up being cut off by your determined self. “Bruce. Whatever he told you, this is not the right way.” You spoke empathetically. Thankfully, your strategy adding up to the doctor’s natural empathy ended up leading the man to stop the electricity from nourishing the machine by pressing on a simple button, both of you earning a head shake from the Avenger standing by the table. “Jesus Christ-“ Tony cursed, feet beginning to lead him towards the controllers though you were soon to stand in his way in order to stop him.

“Does Thor know about this?” You asked, hoping that reminding Tony that Loki’s brother was one of yours would make him change his mind for good. Unfortunately for you, it was rare for Iron Man to ever fear much as his huge ego held him back from doing so. “There’s a lot of things Thor doesn’t know.” Joked the man, rudely underlining the fact that he believed Thor to be a muscular idiot whilst still trying to get past you. But your tough self refused to move, which ended up leading the older man to groan in annoyance. “Fine. Two hours break for him. I wouldn’t want to skip my lunch.” Tony spoke before making his way out of the secret torture room alongside Bruce who appeared to be in pure distress. The doors closed and locked behind you, trapping you in here with poor Loki who was still attempting to recover from this tough step.

He was panting, his chest rising and dropping at quite an incredible rate. You could tell that the demigod was exhausted, and even if he had wrecked havoc around New York, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Carefully nearing the table, you watched as droplets of sweat ran down his bare skin- which you soon understood was water that Tony had sprayed around after removing his armor to make sure the electricity would properly pass through his body. His ankles were the first thing you freed, remaining cautious regarding his usually agressive persona. You didn’t want to risk having him put his anger out on you. “I’m gonna free your wrists now, okay? Remember, I’m doing this to help you.” You informed before undoing the upper leather straps.

Unlike what you would’ve expected, Loki’s body simply rolled to the side before falling to the floor and nearly crushing your feet- which he would have if you hadn’t backed away after freeing him. He appeared lifeless, though you could clearly tell that he was breathing due to the weak movements of his back. The poor man simply didn’t have the strength to use his powers nor move any longer- and god knew for how many hours Tony had probably left him here, through pain and torture. You were soon to assume that Loki was probably cold, his wet and bare skin being an awful duo when it came to warmth. “I’ll fetch something to warm you up.” You informed before moving away from his body, walking around the room and seeking for a blanket or other piece of clothing to offer him.

Meanwhile, the demigod found the strength to turn around and look up at your back, surprised that a human such as you who on top of that was part of the avengers would agree to help him. Groaning out of pain as he sat up on his elbows, the raven haired man carried on following each of your steps to make sure you wouldn’t attack him by surprise. Thankfully, you were soon to lay your hands on a blanket, body turning around as you approached Loki’s injured self. However, the demigod surprisingly began to place his hand before his body and lower his head- probably out of fear that you were meant to hurt him again. Besides, humiliation stole away his envy of being touched by anyone at the moment. “Pl- please.. I learned my lesson.. I can’t take anymore of it...” he admitted breathlessly, earning a sigh from you.

“I’m not here to hurt you, Loki. Even if I admit you’d deserve a good beating for wrecking havoc in this city.” You answered, his blue eyes peeking up at you in a shy manner. “It’s just a blanket. See?” You added, raising the large piece of fabric above your chest to make sure he would be able to see it properly. After waiting for a couple of seconds, Loki ended up nodding weakly, visibly agreeing to receive the blanket he was in desperate need of. “Sit up.” You asked him, just in aim to be able to wrap the clothing around his back and keep him warm. However, when the male found himself sitting up on his bum, you couldn’t help but notice the wide scars which adorned his back. They appeared healed. “Is that from Tony?.. they look old-“ You began, only to be stopped by the demigod himself.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” He responded as his hand rudely took ahold of the blanket, and all of that whilst avoiding eye contact with you. You sighed. “Fine. But looks like I’m trapped in here with you for now.. So the best we can do is remain polite.” You responded wisely before sitting down beside him as Loki wrapped the thick material around his body. It wasn’t the first time you had encountered the demigod, and you had felt surprised to see that he had stolen the Tesseract and attempted to reduce New York to dust. It just didn’t look like something he’d do. Unfortunately, your alliance with the avengers had always held you back from getting to know him better. You two made eye contact for a brief second which allowed you to notice the open wounds on his face and chest- the only part of his body which remained uncovered.

“Will you allow me to get a closer look at those? They might get infected..” you asked, tone lowering just so slightly as you remembered the way his healed scars looked. They didn’t appear as if anyone had taken care of them, which had resulted in a rather healed for sure but bumpy texture. Face to Loki’s lack of response, you decided to take the decision by yourself. Getting up from where you had been sitting, you made your way until the pharmacy cupboard which was part of Bruce’s small handmade lab. You managed to lay your hands on everything you needed- bandaids, alcohol, coton...- which now allowed you to make your way back to Loki. The raven haired man remained suspicious, looking up at you with squinted eyes and following every single one of your steps.

Upon sitting on your knees beside him, you could sense Loki attempting to move further away from you in the most discreet manner- a detail you didn’t bother to speak up about. You could understand he felt afraid and uncertain, but you were willing to prove to him that you meant ho harm or whatsoever. “Just a little bit of alcohol on a piece of coton will do just right.” You explained through your steps, keeping Loki informed of every move just like doctors did with young children. “It might sting a little, but I assume a tough guy like you went through worst, Mmh?” You joked before your hand gently started to approach Loki’s face, the man’s head backing away as you tried to reach his skin. It annoyed you.

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to make efforts too, because otherwise we’re still gonna be here when Tony would have finished his lunch.” You explained, underlining that him constantly backing away could lead this cleaning process to take hours. After hearing this sentence, Loki’s head finally ceased to move away though his blue eyes remained on you- orbs shooting daggers and body getting ready to intervene if you ever attempted to backstab him and bring him harm. “Breath in.” You asked empathetically before allowing the alcohol coated coton to gently collide with the bruise on his nose. The poor boy winced loudly, his entire body tensing up as your arm went motionless. “I’m sorry.” You spoke, leading Loki’s eyelids to open.

“Sorry?..” he asked whilst making eye contact with you, his calm self now allowing your hand to take care of his face without letting go a single sound. “Yeah. Why?” You carried on discussing with him, believing that it was a good way of distracting his brain from the pain. Loki’s eyes looked away, orbs growing moist as he bit down on his gum. The truth was, no one had ever apologized for manhandling or neglecting him- and hearing you say such a thing to him had honestly reached and pierced through his heart within a matter of seconds. He couldn’t help but remember the horrors Thanos made him go through before he arrived in New York, and the constant conflicts with his father. However, his pride held him back from thanking you or allowing his tears to go down.

“There you go. All cleaned up.” You informed once you had finally finished to clean his face, this statement dragging Loki out of his painful thoughts. You got up from where you had been sitting in order to throw the dirty pieces of coton away and put the rest of the medical furnitures back in their place, and all of that whilst Loki allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts again. “This might cause a civil war, but I’ll inform you brother that you’re here as soon as I can.” You notified as the demigod finally found the strength to get up to his feet- blanket wrapped around his waist- though he still had to lean against the table for support. Is this what empathy feels like? The demigod asked himself as he continued to stare into the void. After such a long time spent by himself, he had forgotten about the many assets of friendship.

You kept Loki company until Tony finally unlocked the room for you to exit. Not once had the demigod thanked you for what you did and were about to do for him, and yet you still felt guilty about leaving him in Tony’s hands until you were able to find the god of thunder. However, for the first time ever, you had been able to distinguish fear and gratitude through Loki’s wealthy orbs.

I’m so sorry this took a while to write! Was having a writer’s block. But here it is now! I hope you was able to enjoy it❤️ take care.

special tag for my best friend @devilsuga who I’d heal and protect on my life if I had to.

[notchesandbullets]

Vintage Books and Midnight Promises (Tattooed!Bakugou x Bookworm!Reader) Modern!AU

Warnings: none, just fluff. features Child!Eijirou, Child!Izuku and brief Dadzawa at the end

Synopsis: Your days are brightened by the appearance of Eijirou and Izuku but you don’t recognize the tattooed man who accompanied the two children into your bookshop one day. But he finds his way into your heart and before you can stop it, you’re already in too deep for the man with tattoos that rippled like the purest form of water and smelled like blueberries hand-picked on the warmest day.

Inspired by: @all1e23 ‘s series “Astrophile” (this is one of my favorite comfort fanfics, i highly recommend it)

Words: 9.8k

It was a beautiful, sunny day.

Steam coming from a hot cup of coffee curled in the air and you sighed as you set down the porcelain teacup that had been a gift from your grandmother on the front desk, sinking deeper into the velvety cushion of your seat as you basked in the tranquility of the empty store before the bell on the door would inevitably ring again.

The musty yet homey scent of secondhand books clung to the worn pages in all the stories of mystery, fantasy and nonfiction that filled the old and rickety oak shelving you had bought at an auction five years ago.

The cornershop sat at the end of a particularly quaint neighborhood in the small town you lived in and you couldn’t imagine anything else more relaxing other than grabbing a cup of coffee from the loft upstairs and curling up with a good book until store hours were over.

You got a steady stream of regulars and occasionally a few new faces here and there that ended up coming back quite frequently. You hoped that had something to do with the notion that they liked to read, since that’s all you could really hold a conversation about.

The latest thriller that was published or that underrated author that never seemed to get enough attention in your opinion, even though their work was such a delight for you to read, whatever it was, you could talk about books for hours.

Maybe that’s why it was so hard to act normal around those vastly more social than you.

Ever since you could remember, you had your nose buried in a book, bumping into street lamps and crashing into people as you failed to look up for even a second to see where you were going.

People never seemed to quite understand you, why you preferred the company of books over people, but you didn’t need them to understand. Books were all you had and you liked to keep it that way.

Books were consistent and there would always be more literature to read.

Luckily, it was a weekday so business was pretty slow and in just another hour, you would be free to finish up repainting the storefront.

But first, you needed to conclude this book. You were so close to the ending and the author had been stringing you along on a thread of hope that the protagonist was going to make it out and save the day, you were on the edge of your seat!!

Your eyes flitted across the pages at a speed too fast for human eyes to comprehend and you were so engrossed in the book that you didn’t notice the shadow that passed by outside.

You jumped as the door to your little bookshop flew open with a bang, losing your balance from where you had been perched on your favorite stool and crashed to the floor.

Sitting up with a groan of pain, you rubbed your now sore bottom and winced. “Ow…”

You hadn’t anticipated someone coming and wreaking havoc on your little shop. It was a good thing you had a good memory and had marked the page you left off of in your head or else that customer that had so rudely barged in would be getting more than just some curt words from you.

“Sorry.” A curt and gruff apology came from over the counter and your mouth pressed in a hard line as you got to your feet.

“Is everything alright?” You asked slowly, brushing the dust off of your clothes and making eye contact with the stranger for the first time.

In front of you was some punk who had incredibly intricate tattoos visible on his arms.

You eyed him up and down. He was pretty tall. Okay, correct that, he towered a good head over you, but what was the most intimidating was that scowl on his face that looked like it was permanently glued there for some reason.

His shoulders were broad and even under that sleeveless tank he was wearing, his muscles rippled and you rolled your eyes.

So he was one of those.

But you stopped a bit of ink twining up his neck and cocked an eyebrow at the prospect of him having more underneath his clothes.

You didn’t react despite where your mind just went, internally screaming at yourself to get a grip.

Guys like him didn’t randomly walk into a bookshop like yours. You had half a mind to call the police, thinking he was about to loot your store, but hesitated because he hadn’t done anything and it was wrong to judge someone you didn’t know under stereotypes that were groomed into you from a young age.

Not to mention, if he actually was going to rob you for whatever reason, he wouldn't have announced his presence like that.

Unless he was an idiot. Either one was equally possible at the moment while you waited for him to say something. Anything.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” He said shortly after a pause, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and your stance softened a bit when you noticed how uncomfortable he looked. You could understand that feeling.

Plastering a smile on your face, you leaned back and shrugged, accepting what you suspected to be his version of an apology. “It’s okay, it was an accident.”

“Miss Y/N!!! Miss Y/N!!! Down here!!!”

“We’re down here!!!”

The small, childish chorus had your eyes brightening up in an instant as you recognized the voices and you were racing out from behind the counter within a second.

“Eijirou, Izuku!!” You knelt down to hug both of the toddlers tightly. “I didn't know you two were coming today!!”

They normally came on the weekends with their dad, it was so rare to see them on a weekday, with a new face nonetheless.

Eijirou’s shiny red eyes blinked up at you and he beamed brightly while Izuku shuffled his feet self-consciously, sniffling as he clutched his All Might plushie tight to his chest.

You cooed, lifting his chin sweetly to wipe away the tears. “What's wrong, Izuku?”

He sniffled, hugging his comfort plushie tighter as he pointed up to the scowling man that had accompanied them. “He… He’s mean.”

The ash-blond’s forehead creased in annoyance as you sent him a questioning look. “Shut your mouth, you fucking brat!!”

You covered Eijirou and Izuku’s ears, glaring at him. He matched it in intensity and it wasn’t until you saw how he wasn’t going to back down that you sighed, breaking off eye contact and conceding as you caught the tears streaming down Izuku’s round cheeks.

“Yeah, he’s big and scary, let’s leave him here, okay?” You said to the little boy, pretending not to notice the punk’s glare following the two of you as you led the now cheered up Izuku over to the back of the store.

Every time they came, you made sure to have the children’s area brushed up for them. The floor to ceiling windows in that one corner in the back had deep purple curtains drawn open during the day, shining light directly on the soft leather sofa that belonged to your family.

The perfect place to read.

A tug on the man’s hand had him looking down.

“Bakugou!!” The red-haired toddler shouted excitedly, frantically pulling him to where you were at only to run out of breath from his efforts as the man didn’t budge. “I want to go too!!”

“You’re staying here where I can see you, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou grumbled, running an exasperated hand through his spiky hair as he waited for the other brat to come back so that they could leave.

“You can come with!!” Eijirou begged, still trying to convince the stubborn man who was their guardian for the time being while their dad was busy. He huffed and puffed but still he didn’t move an inch.

He snorted haughtily, his grip tightening on the brat’s when he switched tactics and tried to pry off the hand that was holding his. “Like hell I would.”

Eijirou’s lower lip wobbled dangerously as he stopped fighting. “But you promised!!”

Bakugou inwardly groaned and looked away from the toddler. Tears from the brats were his fucking weakness and he hated it. But he still wasn’t going to let him.

The only reason why he agreed to take them here in the first place was because they wouldn’t shut up, begging for him to take them to the bookstore that they visited every week with their dad over and over again, promising that they wouldn’t ask for anything else the whole rest of the day.

They just wanted to see you.

Bakugou only agreed because they crossed their hearts that they would be quiet if he took them and if they didn’t make good on their word, then he would blow them up.

But what he didn’t mention was that he was a little intrigued by the girl that they talked about excitedly all the way there.

Tch, shitty brats. Fucking annoying.

Eijirou never cared about his threats when he declared that he would blow them up, going so far as to smile brightly in his face, completely unaffected while that shitty nerd’s face went ashen and lost all its color as he cowered behind his brother to avoid the scary man that towered over them.

Izuku lacked the spine that Eijirou had.

Bakugou pushed off the counter that he was leaning against as you came back into view with a happy Izuku in tow.

Eijirou visibly deflated and tears welled up at the corners of his eyes. “You’re all done? B-But I wanted to pick some out too!!”

You hushed him softly as you saw how close he was to sobbing, crouching down to his level and ruffled his hair. “You can choose what you want too, Eiji.”

His whole face lit up. “Really?!”

“Of course!!” You reassured with a smile, the edges of your eyes crinkling as you stood up and offered him your other hand that wasn’t joined with Izuku’s. But after Izuku swung your hand, you took that as your cue to let go. “Come on!!”

This time, Bakugou wasn’t fast enough to intervene as Eijirou took your hand and zoomed off with you trailing behind him, practically dragging you behind him as he took on the personality of a race car. He gritted his teeth in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to leave this place that had absolutely no business with and he clenched his hands into fists, storming over to where the two of you ran off to with full intention of grabbing the shitty brat and exiting with nothing more than a word.

But he faltered at the sound of your laughter bouncing off the bookshelves and unconsciously retracted his hand as he turned the corner.

To be honest, he didn’t know what made him stop. But seeing you there, with Eijirou tuckered out in your lap as you read him a book, Izuku bounding past him just to cuddle up on your other side was making him soft.

Fuck emotions. He hated having a heart.

You were seated on a huge, tan leather sofa that looked worn with age and was packed with brightly-colored pillows that looked much softer than he wanted to admit as he found himself drifting towards the three of you.

Truth be told, he only took them here because they were begging for either this or the zoo and he could not fucking stand the zoo.

What the fuck was so interesting about animals locked in a pen?

“Get up brats, we’re leaving.” Bakugou barked, glaring pointedly at the fucking brats when they cracked their eyes open as you stopped reading.

A chorus of whines and protests followed by some very pouty begging made you crack a smile at his unchanging demeanor.

“You know~” You sang, holding back a giggle at the suspicious look the man shot you as you shut the children’s book you were reading in favor of glancing at the two kids out of the corner of your eye. “I do have a ton of pizza that needs to be finished today. I don't suppose there's anyone out there that can help me with such a big task.”

Izuku and Eijirou shrieked in delight, bouncing up and down on the sofa, alternating between screaming yes and pleading for him to let them stay.

Bakugou, on the other hand, was fucking irritated as hell.

You were trying to bribe him with pizza? How un-fucking-believable. You were worse than the two troublemakers shrieking so loud, it felt like his head was going to split. He didn’t believe what he just heard. But was it working?

Yup.

Because your sundress flared around your knees as you crossed your legs to accommodate both the boys. The tresses of your hair fell around your face so softly he vaguely wondered if it was even possible for someone to look so innocent while conducting a pizza scheme.

Izuku scratched his head cutely as he yawned widely, exhausted from all the hopping he just did as Eijirou began to jump up and down around you, his endless energy coming off of him in waves.

“We can help!!!” He cried, tugging Izuku upright and the little boy stumbled, landing on his rear on the couch with an ‘oof’.

But he didn't cry. Instead, he tilted his head curiously and blinked. “We can?”

“Yes!!” Eijirou insisted. He wanted pizza. He loved pizza. And Bakugou never treated them to it whenever he watched them, he said it would make them fat. “Please Bakugou!!!”

You raised an eyebrow as you heard the punk’s name for the first time. It sounded fitting for such a stoic and emotionless person that he was portraying at the moment as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the red-haired toddler.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “What did I tell you about referring to your elders, Shitty Hair?”

“Ahh!!” You blurted out, sending him a sharp look that was meant to reprimand him. “Don't swear in front of them!!”

Bakugou glared at you uncaringly and you matched it, throwing in a pout for good measure.

You had no idea what was giving you all this confidence now. You had never been this comfortable interacting with a stranger. You blamed it on the children. They were far too familiar.

The moment of silence as you glared at each other was broken when both of the boys jumped down from the sofa at the same time.

Weird.

“Ahh, don’t go too far!!” You called out after them as you sprang up. “And don’t leave the store!!”

“M’kay!!!” Eijirou shouted back as he tugged Izuku, who was struggling to catch up, behind him. “Can I flip the sign, Miss Y/N?”

You giggled, hiding a grin from Bakugou as you nodded even though they couldn’t see. “Yes, just be careful and don’t go outside!!”

As he yelled that he knew back at you, you moved into a better light so that that one bookshelf wasn’t blocking your view of them so you could see them. Once you were in direct line of sight, your smile softened as you saw Eijirou lift Izuku up so that he could reach the sign and flip it around to show that you were closed for the day.

“They’re so sweet to each other.” You murmured to yourself.

The closeness of Bakugou’s scoff had you jumping back in surprise and you winced as your back crashed into the bookshelf behind you.

“Geez, I was going to say hell no.” Bakugou started as he chortled, smirking at you as you collected yourself. “But you’re even more of a klutz than that shitty nerd is.”

Brushing down your skirt, you coughed a couple times to cover up your blush of embarrassment. “I am not.”

“Uh, yeah you are.”

“Oh hush.” You snapped at him as the boys came bounding back, Izuku proudly holding up another book he wanted you to read for him that he found on the way back.

You giggled and ruffled his hair affectionately before asking if they’d like to continue reading here or up in the loft, to which they both sprinted to the stairs.

Well, that answered that question.

You sent a smile over your shoulder, inviting the grumpy man to follow you. “You coming or what?”

Bakugou hid a smirk as you turned back around and followed the hyperactive kids up the stairs.

You sure were interesting, he’d give you that.

And that night, the four of you fell asleep in the loft, with four boxes of cheese, pepperoni and half-eaten vegetarian pizzas surrounding you as Izuku curled up beside you and Eijirou snored on top of Bakugou’s head.

You were very happy to see that it wasn’t the last time you saw the forever annoyed man who had barged into your store.

It had been a month since that day. And since then, Bakugou had become a regular face and you dreaded how you subconsciously looked forward to when he would show up randomly.

One time, he had popped in your store just to grunt out a greeting and toss a bag at you, demanding that you eat it or else he would fucking kill you, before leaving.

Opening it up, you saw the freshly-baked blueberry muffin inside. And when you bit into it, it was delicious.

The only thing that confused you was that there was no good bakery around here, so you had absolutely no idea where he got it from.

Today, another weekday, they came again all bright smiles and sunshine and you bolted off your stool, abandoning your freshly-brewed coffee to greet them before they could even step into the bookstore.

There were still a few hours of daylight until closing time and you had some more things to finish up.

Bakugou leaned against the wall as you rearranged the display on the top shelf. The ever energetic Izuku and Eijirou had sped over to their corner the second they ran into the store, greeting you over their shoulder as the two boys tunneled past you.

You had pouted but let them go have their fun since tonight would be another night of pizza and soft drinks while you read them their favorite books.

Last time, Eijirou came to you with a stack of at least fifteen and you nearly had a laughing fit when one of them was a little too high for his age group.

He could read all those young adult novels with glorious battles featuring knights and dragons when his vocabulary increased a bit more.

A green-haired boy with freckles toddled up to you with his counterpart and buddy in crime nowhere to be seen.

Giggling, you approved the ones that Izuku held up to you with wide eyes blinking slowly.

“I’ll read it for you a little later, yeah?” You said, patting his head.

“Okay!!”

You flailed for a second as you lost your balance, the little boy disappearing from sight once again before he could realize you were off kilter due to the speed that he zipped at but a pair of strong hands settled on your waist to steady you.

Lips parting in surprise, you turned around to see Bakugou’s trademark sneer as he stared up at you.

“Dumbass.”

“Hey!!” You protested, all gratitude gone, and your lips pursed in a firm line as you disputed his claim.

But you were startled at the rough rumble that emitted from his chest and it took you a second to realize that he was laughing. At your expense, but still, it warmed your heart to hear.

“Well, look at that.” You teased. “He’s not so cold after all.”

“Tch.” Bakugou’s amusement faded as he glared at you for that but you just brushed it off.

You turned your attention back to the top shelf but misjudged the distance as you stretched out your hand. Yelping as one of the stool legs gave out, you careened to the side and squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the impact.

But your eyes shot open as you didn’t hit the ground like you expected. Instead, you landed on something softer than the hardwood floor.

When a pained groan sounded underneath you, you scrambled upright.

“Oh my gosh!! I’m so sorry!!!”

Bakugou had somehow cushioned your fall, making you land on him rather than crash to the ground.

Your cheeks flamed when you realized you were straddling his waist, hands splayed on his chest and you squeaked when he caught you staring.

“Oi, are you going to fucking stare at me all day?” Bakugou snarked and you huffed, clambering off of him clumsily.

It was a good thing you weren’t wearing a dress today. That would’ve been so embarrassing.

“I’m really sorry.” You apologized again, sheepishly tucking your hair behind your ear as you tried to appear less frazzled than you felt as he picked himself up from the floor.

Before he could say anything, though it was probably something not very nice, Izuku ran around the corner with Eijirou hot on his heels.

“Miss Y/N!!!” Izuku called out breathlessly, his chubby cheeks flushed pink from running so fast. “Miss Y/N!!! I have a secret to tell you!!”

“Izuku, I want to tell her!!!” Eijirou complained with a small pout.

“No, I want to!!!” He pushed back fiercely before he turned to you with bright forest green eyes and beamed. “Miss Y/N—”

“Bakugou has a crush on you!!!!” Eijirou interrupted, dancing in circles around you and out of Bakugou’s reach as the man swiped at him.

Bakugou snarled as the toddler screeched and dived in between his legs to escape him. “Get back here, you fucking brat!!!!”

Izuku tugged on your pant leg, tears brimming in his eyes as his lower lip trembled. “M-Miss Y/N…”

Your giggles died down as Bakugou continued to chase Eijirou and you smiled reassuringly, bending down to pick him up.

“Aww, it’s okay, Izuku.” You reassured with a chirpy smile. “If you want, we can just pretend you told me, yeah?”

He smiled and kicked his feet happily, giggling as he waved his All Might plushie back and forth.

“Do we get to stay tonight too?”

“Yup!!” You beamed, hoisting him higher as you collected the book that you needed to put away and balance it on your head so that you could hold the toddler with two hands. “I already checked it with your dad and he said it was okay!!”

Aizawa had sounded stressed when you called him but that was to be expected. His line of work was tough but he had quickly agreed to it. He had interacted with you enough to know that you looked out for them almost as much as he did.

Besides, in the small town, word got around fast. If there was dirt on you, he would’ve heard about it by now.

Izuku tugged on your braid innocently to catch your attention. “Can we leave him downstairs when you read to us?”

You giggled and booped his nose, watching it scrunch up cutely. You already knew he was talking about Bakugou. “Why do you want him to stay downstairs?”

Izuku pouted. “Because he snores too loud.”

“Hah?! Say it to my face, Deku!!!” Bakugou’s yell echoed from somewhere on the other side of the store and you slapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from bursting out laughing.

“C’mon,” You said softly, bouncing Izuku on your hip as you crept around the other side. “Let’s go see if we can help Eiji and then we’ll sneak upstairs before he finds us, yeah?”

“Yayyy!!!” Izuku cheered happily.

“FOUND YOU, SHITTY NERD!!!”

“Uh oh, Miss Y/N, run!!!!!”

An hour and a lot of duct tape later, Bakugou was sitting in the punishment chair for those that misbehaved while you read to the boys upstairs.

About ten minutes later, you flicked the lights off upstairs as you headed back down, being careful about which lamps to turn on since you didn’t want to wake the kids.

You fought back a grin as you saw the poorly wrapped duct tape tying his wrist to the chair. Apparently you could’ve been more clear to the boys that since the stuff was sticky, they didn’t have to necessarily tie it around his arm like string.

You were quite sure that Bakugou could've gotten up if he wanted to so you left him down there but when you finished the last book and he was nowhere to be seen, you came downstairs only to find him in the exact same position you left him in.

“What's wrong? Tied you up too tight?” You teased, knowing it had no merit.

“Ha ha, you’re so fucking funny.” Bakugou glowered at you, then his blank expression morphed into subtle curiosity. “The brats asleep?”

“Yeah,” You said, rubbing your arms as a breeze blew by and you frowned as you held out your hand and started to follow it all the way to its source and it only furrowed deeper when you deduced that it was coming from a crack in the front door. “Rats.”

“What the…” Bakugou trailed off as he came up behind you and at this point you didn’t even flinch.

For someone who was so tall and had such a fit physique, he sure moved like the wind. You were used to it by now.

You sighed, planting your hands on your hips after testing the lock to make sure it still worked properly. Thank goodness that was still fine. “It happens every winter. I think it has something to do with the wood and the weather when the temperature drops but I already fixed it this past season so I don’t know why…”

Burrowing your face in your hands, you groaned and tried to put it in back of your mind for now.

But Bakugou’s brow knitted at the safety concern and he jangled the knob to play around with it.

By the time you had stopped trying to think of ways to solve this problem temporarily until you had the means for a more permanent solution, Bakugou had fixed it.

Your jaw dropped as you saw he had stuffed some kind of weather strip you had laying in the corner with the rest of the maintenance tools collecting dust and bluntly claimed he’d fix it in the morning for you.

“You don’t have to do that!!” You cried out, feeling bad and not wanting to owe him anything.

Bakugou snorted. “That wasn’t a fucking question, dumbass.”

You opened your mouth to protest but the pitter-patter of tiny feet scaling down the stairs made you both raise your heads.

Your eyes filled with concern as you saw the little boy dragging a blankie behind him with his thumb stuck in his mouth.

“Izuku?” You rushed over and dropped down to the floor, not caring how you scraped your knees in the process. “What’s wrong?”

He sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

“... had a nightmare…” He mumbled under his breath, close to tears and your gaze softened sympathetically.

Opening your arms to him, you caught yourself as he ran into you and you walked back to where Bakugou was observing.

Nightmare. You mouthed at him and his eyes grew dark for a second.

You didn’t understand why but you didn’t ask any questions as you focused on consoling the crying boy.

“Hey, Izuku,” You whispered softly when he had calmed down enough to be coherent and tell you a little what it was about. “You know what always makes me feel better?”

He blinked up at you. “Pizza?”

You giggled and tapped his nose gently. “Well yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of ice cream…”

You didn’t miss the way eyes lit up and he automatically turned to an indifferent Bakugou watching the both of you while leaning against the wall with a pleading expression, and immediately, the man was shaking his head violently.

“Hell no.” He refused flatly. Upon the fresh tears that welled up in Izuku’s eyes, he turned to you, as though he needed to prove to you that he had a good reason for saying no. “It’s late out.”

“There’s a 24/7 store that carries ice cream right down the street.” You supplied helpfully, smiling innocently when he glared at you.

Bakugou sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair, gripping it in frustration. “It’s dark, Y/N. It’s dangerous.”

“I can go.” You suggested, trying to pry off an Izuku who was clinging to you.

“The hell? Fuck no.” Bakugou hissed and you sighed, giving up on trying to make the green bundle that was pretending to be a leech unstick from you.

“I’ll be right back.” You negotiated. “It’s not even that far—”

“You’re not going.”

You balked at the unrelenting tone he took with you but shut your mouth when you saw the look in his eyes. The look that told you he had seen things that he probably would never tell you.

You saw it in the way his hands shook ever so slightly when he held either Eijirou or Izuku, like he was afraid they would disappear on him the second he let go. You knew that kind of fear and you didn’t argue against him.

But before you could smile sadly at Izuku for letting him down, Bakugou was stomping upstairs and waking up the other slumbering toddler.

There was a muffled shout and then a grunt from above.

“Wake up, Shitty Hair.”

“Eh?! Where are we going?!”

You winced as a crash sounded from the upper level. You didn’t want to know what he broke this time.

But you followed Bakugou’s thinking. Even if the door was sturdy for now, it wasn’t a good idea to leave a child alone for whatever reason, even if you weren’t going to be gone long. If Eijirou woke up all alone, there was a good possibility he would venture outside by himself and that wouldn’t be good.

Besides, Eijirou would be sad if he missed out on this adventure.

It had taken five minutes for Bakugou to wrangle Eijirou, who was way too energetic this late at night, and an additional ten just before the four of you left the store.

Bakugou locked it behind you as you carried Izuku out.

Initially, he had insisted that he could carry him to give you a break but you told him you didn’t mind.

And you really didn’t. The little boy was snoozing softly against your shoulder and you were happy that you could provide some small amount of comfort to him after such a scary bad dream.

The trip was pretty uneventful. Nothing happened, you guys got there safely, Bakugou paid for more ice cream than you guys could consume in one night, saying something about how it was so he didn’t have to do this whole thing again and you walked back.

There were some stragglers out and you got a couple of glances that normally would’ve made your skin crawl but for some reason, this time you felt reassured as Bakugou drifted to your side and kept you close as he made sure Eijirou didn’t let go of his hand.

Eijirou was good, for the most part.

He was unusually serious and didn’t goof off inside the grocery store like he did in your bookshop and you were grateful for that. You didn’t know if you had the energy to chase him down like Bakugou had done earlier if he decided he wanted to play hide-and-seek.

At one point, Bakugou’s free hand that wasn’t busy holding onto the tubs of ice cream or Eijirou, to make sure he didn’t wander off, crept around your shoulders and pulled you close when someone who was drunk out of their minds strayed too close to you.

“Back the fuck off.” He growled protectively as he tucked you and Izuku into his side, glaring at them until they got the message and went on their way.

You were thankful that there wasn’t enough light for him to see the blush present on your cheeks and as you stepped back inside the safety of your bookstore, the boys going after the comfort ice cream like puppies with ice, you didn’t know quite how to feel when his scorching touch left you.

And you wondered why your heart was beating so fast.

By the time the next weekend had rolled around, it was their twentieth time coming together and you were starting to get a bit alarmed at how familiar their appearance was. You actually had to stop in your tracks when you realized you not only were looking forward to seeing Izuku and Eijirou but also Bakugou.

Crap.

That punk had wormed his way into your heart even more but you’d be damned if you let him stay there.

Convincing yourself you’d get over this petty little crush before it became a problem, you picked out some gifts for the two boys the next time you would see them.

By the time you had walked down the street to your shop from the toy store, you actually realized that they beat you to it. You had to calm the two toddlers down as they ran up to greet you, Eijirou vastly quicker on his feet than Izuku, even though the little boy tried his hardest.

They squealed as you gave them presents, showing them off to Bakugou and sped off into their corner to go play. Just like clockwork.

“So…” You started, cringing at how awkward you sounded now that you were alone with Bakugou. “Where’s their dad today?”

Bakugou coughed, then cleared his throat. “You mean that scruffy old man?”

You cracked a smile. “That’s the one.”

He was always with them. He was the first one to bring the boys in on a slow day, which quickly livened up due to the endless amount of energy contained inside a little Eijirou and a tiny Izuku.

Midgets. You loved them so much.

Their cheeks were so squishy, too. Adorable.

It had been months since you had last seen Aizawa and you were a little bit worried about him. But you figured if anyone would know if he was okay would be the man entrusted to watch his sons.

Bakugou sighed, crossing his arms over his chest so that his muscles bulged out from that sleeveless tank he was wearing. The patches of ink rippled in the light and moved almost like it was real. “Aizawa-sensei’s not their dad but he acts like it too fucking much to pretend that it’s not true anymore.”

You giggled at his harsh words edged with a bit of something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Something that sounded like begrudging fondness.

Bakugou jerked his chin to where Izuku was chasing after Eijirou, begging him to help him get a book down from the shelf. Usually, you’d go help them but the adorable little toddler puffed out his chest and started clambering up the step ladder to get it.

Bakugou had bought that one himself to replace the rickety one you had accidentally broken and fallen off of so you knew it was sturdy. They would only fall off of it if they weren’t careful but you were within sight of them so you weren’t too worried.

“He’s enlisted in the military so he can’t always watch them even after they blacklisted him. His old unit just recently got reinstated.” Bakugou said with a scowl, not bothering to elaborate on that, but his eyes softened the tiniest bit as Izuku huffed and puffed to catch up with Eijirou, his little legs working overtime to compensate for his lack of height. “So he gave the brats to me to make sure they didn’t kill themselves or something.”

You grinned, clasping your hands behind your back and stuck your face close to his, skirt swirling around your ankles as you sent him a cheeky smile.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?”

“Shut the hell up, no I didn’t!!” He shouted but you bit back the smile threatening to overtake your entire face.

“You’re too easy to read~” You teased.

Bakugou grabbed for you but you dodged easily. Gritting his teeth in determination, he ran after you and you yelped at how quickly he was gaining on you.

Damn, it was a bad day to wear these shoes.

You ducked around the corner only for him to catch up to you in a split second. You squeaked as he slammed you into the bookshelf, caging you in between his arms as he smirked down at you.

“I won.” He declared triumphantly.

You rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue. “Such a child.”

Bakugou scowled. You were one to talk, taunting him like you two were friends or something. “Oi, fucking take that back.”

Your eyes glinted mischievously. “Or you’ll do what? Try to punch me again? Maybe this time you’ll actually land one and not miss like a lose—”

You gasped as his chest bumped into yours, his red eyes glimmering dangerously. His breath was hot against your face and your heart stopped.

“I don’t fucking lose.” He growled.

You gulped. Perhaps you had crossed a line. Your gaze darted away from him for a second, not even bothering to push him away because you knew you couldn’t.

“Thank you.”

Bakugou raised an eyebrow in surprise but masked it quickly. “For what?”

“For the other day.” You clarified. “I think I would’ve been screwed if you hadn’t come with, so thank you.”

He snorted and looked away. “Don’t mention it, dumbass.”

You were going to leave it at that but at that moment, a soft giggle floated through the air along with some very loud and obvious shushing.

Bakugou immediately tore after the little brats without a second thought as both Eijirou and Izuku poked their heads around the corner to spy on you and you threw your head back and laughed.

They were so goofy but maybe that crush they had told you about that you had so easily dismissed at first wasn’t so ridiculous after all.

While you were busy helping other customers throughout the day, Bakugou occasionally came to check in on you and make sure you were taking your breaks and eating, all while reassuring you that the shitty brats were fucking fine and you didn’t need to be worried about shit.

He could handle it.

You smiled and waved a hand at him when he left, giggling when he flipped you the bird before turning to the next person who wanted to check out.

The sun set and night fell, all along with the comfortable routine you had grown accustomed to having with all three of the boys.

But you bolted upright as Eijirou nonchalantly revealed something you didn’t expect the instant you finished setting up the tent for movie night.

“IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?!?!” You screeched in Bakugou’s ear.

Bakugou clapped a hand over your mouth, sending you a death glare, undoubtedly for your insanely loud volume, but you wrangled him off of you.

“Bu— You— Why didn’t you say something?!”

He looked at you as though you were crazy. You two barely knew each other and if he knew it was going to spur on this reaction, he definitely would’ve stopped Shitty Hair from saying that shit.

Too late now.

Bakugou slumped back against the makeshift fort you had set up for the boys in the loft. Said troublesome toddlers were currently going to town on your DVD collection so that they could choose a movie for tonight.

You only had cartoons from your childhood so it was a perfect selection for them. They were currently hunting through the bookshelf in your room that was connected to upper floor, just down the hall.

“What the hell is there to tell?” He grunted in your direction, a deep seated scowl on his features from the starry blankets and pillows that surrounded him.

You frowned. Growing up, birthdays had always been days that you looked forward to. The parties, the presents, family and friends to celebrate it with, you always loved it. Maybe there was a reason he didn’t want to celebrate it.

Glancing at him out of the corner of your eye, you idly rocked back and forth as you thought about how best to approach the reproachful man.

Bakugou sighed and glared at your crossly. You weren’t going to let this go until he gave you an answer.

“There ain’t no deep reason for it, none of that bullshit.” He ground out eventually and you perked your head up, listening attentively. “I don’t see what’s so special about the day I was born, it’s the same as every other fucking day.”

He was caught off guard as you rapidly shook your head, crying out at his words.

“It’s not!!” You implored earnestly, the roots to your ideals running deep as you leaned forward. “The day you were born is so special!! It celebrates your life, Katsuki!!”

Bakugou swallowed hard. Your proximity was making it very hard to breathe. That light in your eyes, the one that was able to find happiness in even the smallest of things, he didn’t understand it.

It was the same kind of light that Deku had. How fucking annoying.

“Damn idiot.” He muttered as he turned your face away from you so that he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss your lips. They looked so soft…

Fuck, he was screwed over. Quick, he had to think of something else.

Luckily, the distraction came in the form of two very energetic boys barreling into the tent. You collapsed in a fit of giggles as Eijirou returned from his adventure and tunneled into you, Izuku tripping on the way in only to be caught by the back of his collar by a reluctant Bakugou.

Eijirou quickly fumbled with the DVD, holding the cartoons he and Izuku had selected together up proudly for you to see.

You cooed, pinching his cheeks and praised them for making such a good choice. This one was one of your favorites when you were younger and you hadn’t seen it in a while so this was as much a treat for them as it was for you.

The little tent was a bit more cramped than you had anticipated, especially with the two hyperactive boys added into the mix, but it was doable for now. Your leg was pressed up against Bakugou’s warm thigh but you tried not to think about it as you popped the DVD into the small TV you had set up on a table outside of the cozy fort.

Eijirou snuggled up in your lap while Izuku hesitated to climb onto a very comfy looking hothead, who was actually quite tame at the moment.

Unfolding his arms, Bakugou's lip curled back in a scowl. "Tch, hurry up, nerd."

You couldn't even bring yourself to say anything about his language because while Eijirou seemed largely unaffected by it, Izuku’s forest green eyes actually sparked as he recognized the indirect permission granted.

It was actually quite adorable how the boys could read the disgruntled older man like a book.

Bakugou attempted to hide it from you but he couldn't stop you from seeing how gently he rested his large hand on top of Izuku’s little green curls. The tent didn't provide that much privacy.

Not wanting him to stop showing the rare display of affection towards the affection-starved child, you averted your eyes so that he could carry on. You knew he would retract his hand so fast if he thought you were looking at them.

You didn't want to ruin the moment.

Snuggling back into the plushy pillow, you held onto Eijirou as he curled onto your stomach, straining to see the small screen that lit up with moving pictures.

“Izuku, it’s starting!!” He exclaimed excitedly.

There was a crash and then a loud swear and as you looked over to make sure that Izuku and Bakugou were both alright, you had to clap a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing at the scene that you were presented with.

At Eijirou’s well intended announcement, Izuku had hurried upright, knocking back into Bakugou at the same time as he scrambled forward to be able to see.

But in doing so, he had tripped over the cord connecting the TV to the outlet that was behind you and fell forward. Right as the box came crashing down, aimed directly for his head.

Luckily, no one was hurt.

Bakugou had caught Izuku by the collar of his shirt and hauled him back, out of harm’s way before anything could happen to him.

Any other time, you would’ve voiced how impressed you were but now you were just worried about the little boy, who was openly crying, apologizing over and over again for breaking it.

“It’s alright, Izuku.” You reassured gently, patting his head comfortingly. His emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he blinked up at your, his freckled cheeks flushed an embarrassed shade of pink and your eyes softened. “You’re safe, so no harm done!! Don’t worry, okay?”

He sniffled and shakily nodded.

Bakugou had yet to say anything but his fingers were still curled protectively around Izuku’s stomach, ensuring that he didn’t move around carelessly. Next time, he might not be as lucky. Not that he was going to admit that he was scared or anything.

How fucking ridiculous.

While you switched out Eijirou with Izuku to calm him down, Bakugou took charge in cleaning up the shattered shards of cheap plastic that had broken upon impact.

Your TV wasn’t completely destroyed but the plastic screen had cracked at the corner. For something so old, it sure was robust, he’d give it credit for that.

Eijirou tugged on his hand, losing his balance and Bakugou’s arm shot out to prevent him from face-planting in the shards that he had just swept up.

“Watch what you’re doing, Shitty Hair.” He growled, concern masked under his sharp reprimanding and he glared at the now sheepish toddler.

“C’mere, Eiji.” You coaxed, waving your hand to have him come closer to you so that he was out of the way until Bakugou got rid of the small, clear pieces hiding on the floor. “I don’t want you to get hurt, so let’s stay out of his way, yeah?”

Eijirou nodded vigorously, finding the logic in your words with relative ease and agreeing with them instinctively.

Sighing to yourself, you unplugged the TV so that an electrical surge wouldn’t cause a fire. That was the last thing you needed.

You were sad that the boys were disappointed with the short-lived movie night. But Bakugou insists that he can fix it just like he fixed your front door so the three of you waited for him to work his magic while you curled up with a good book to read to them.

You had already asked if he wanted help but he glowered at you for suggesting such an insane thing and you backed off with a shit-eating grin.

After almost an hour of reading books and playing games to pass the time, he got it up and running again, laying the cable on top of the fort you built so that it was out of the way, making it impossible for anyone else to trip on it again.

This time, everything ran smoothly and all of you gorged yourselves on popcorn and soda as the cheesy cartoons played out on the screen, thoroughly entertaining the two little boys while you and Bakugou stole glances at each other the entire time.

By the time it finished, Izuku was already fast asleep and Eijirou was struggling to keep his eyes open.

You put them both to bed, Bakugou’s soft half-smile going over your head as you tucked them into the spare futon you had set up for them specifically, almost three months ago, when this all started.

“You’re too fucking soft.” Bakugou decided as you two went downstairs to let the boys sleep.

It was familiar, it was routine. After every night when they fell asleep, you two would stay up talking for hours about anything and everything.

He eventually opened up to you about the life he had been involved in before he met Aizawa, who saved his life. After that, he reformed, he got clean, the whole nine yards.

And you were proud of him.

You told him about your life, though it probably was nothing at all that interesting compared to his problems that he dealt with. But surprisingly, you found him nodding along understandingly as you voiced your hardships with being anti-social and having a bunch of insecurities and anxieties that often made talking to people a nerve-wracking experience and you were astonished to find the weight that uplifted as soon as he put in his two cents and said that he really did understand.

You skipped ahead of him, spinning around to tell him how much you’ve grown to look forward to your conversations when the guarded look on his face made the confession die on your lips.

“You okay?” You asked concernedly, approaching him cautiously to give him enough time to push you away if he wanted to be left alone.

He grunted in your direction. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

But he didn’t sound fine. His voice was strained and a bead of sweat ran down his forehead.

Biting your lip, you tilted your head contemplatively. Ice cream and books generally made you feel better when you had a bad day but you realized you had no idea what comforted him.

Gingerly, you took his hand and frowned when you saw the faded scars. He had been hurt.

“What do you need?” You asked softly and he sighed in defeat.

“What’s your favorite book?” He grumbled out and your mouth parted in surprise at the odd request.

Wordlessly, you led him over to the counter to grab the same book you had been reading that day he had first barged in and so rudely knocked you off your stool.

You held it up to him and still holding your hand, he led you in the back where you normally sat with the boys to read to them.

“Katsuki?” You questioned.

He gritted his teeth, mumbling something under his breath.

“Um…” You trailed off nervously. “C-Can you say it again? I didn’t really hear you…”

Bakugou whirled around and you squeaked at how close his face was to yours.

“Read it to me.” He demanded without pause and you would’ve laughed, thinking he was playing a prank on you if it had not been for his steely gaze.

“Okay…” You drew out slowly, wondering where this was suddenly coming about as you sat down on the tan leather sofa and patted the spot beside you, turning on the table lamp beside you so that you could see him. “Do you want me to start from the beginning? I’m not sure if you’ll even like this book, I have no idea what you like to read—”

Bakugou shook his head to cut off your anxious rambling, recognizing that it was stemming from your nervousness at him possibly judging you for what you liked to read and he leaned back, resting his arms behind his head.

“Doesn’t fucking matter.” He mumbled. “Just start.”

Even though you had numerous questions running through your head, you obliged and began reading, the words flowing off your lips with practiced ease.

Bakugou never told you but he was jealous of how you always read to the brats. Granted, he was a full-grown adult who shouldn’t pout in the corner when they got more attention than he did but it was so fucking stupid how soothing your voice was and how much of an effect it had on him. 

He could listen to you for hours and never get bored. Why do you think he always stuck around when you hopped up on the same tan leather sofa to read to those shitty kids?

It wasn’t just because he liked to look at your face, but it was because of the smile you had whenever you would read to them, that soft tilt of your head when the books evoked emotions from the children you were reading to and the giggle that bubbled past your lips when they laughed at something that the character did.

It never failed to do things to his heart.

Bakugou’s eyes eventually drifted closed after an hour of reading to him and you tensed when he careened into you by accident.

“Sorry.” He said shortly as he righted himself and you shyly reassured him that it was okay.

He didn’t say anything but you knew.

Ever since he got out of his old life, he had found a steady job but it was in construction and the risk was incredibly high. The hours were long and often the conditions were unforgiving. He had seen things happen on the daily and you were cautious to ever bring it up to him when he pressed closer to you than usual or who stayed longer by the front desk while you worked during operating hours.

You were about to stand up and leave so that he could sleep since he was obviously exhausted but his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.

“Don’t go.”

It was quiet and it wavered but you didn’t hesitate.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you eased him down and swallowed hard when his own encircled your waist, bringing you close to him.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You promised.

Head laying on his chest, your heartbeat eventually synced with the rise and fall of it and you drifted off, unaware that Bakugou sealed your promise with a soft kiss to the top of your head.

The fragments of his heart gently pieced itself back together as he held onto you as though you were his lifeline and he couldn’t help but whisper brokenly.

“Thank you.”

Bonus:

“Papa!!!”

“You’re back!!”

Aizawa held a finger up to his lips as his boys reached for him at the same time, chuckling softly as he caught them both as they launched into him. He didn’t change out of his military gear yet, he wanted to see them first.

“Shh… “ He hushed quietly, ruffling both of their heads at the same time. Damn, he missed them. “Y/N’s sleeping downstairs.”

Instantly, both the boys shut their mouths and shot out at the speed of light.

Aizawa followed them downstairs just in time to see the two of them screaming silently as they danced around in rings around their favorite couch that you and Bakugou were cozied up on.

Your face was tucked under Bakugou’s chin and you were sound asleep. Meanwhile, the man beside you had his arm draped over your waist, the other one supporting your head as a makeshift pillow. The blankets on top of you were rumpled, as though they had been kicked aside in favor of you both seeking out each other’s warmth.

It was cute. Aizawa admitted it was one of the most heartwarming things he’d ever seen.

“Don’t wake them up.” Aizawa instructed as Izuku reached out to touch Bakugou’s spiky hair since he wasn’t awake to tell him off. “Not yet.”

Eijirou was curious but a wide grin broke out on his face when his dad pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures.

“Oooo, Papa, can I?! Please?!?!”

Gesturing for him to lower his voice, Aizawa nodded and handed it off, watching Izuku and Eijriou briefly squabble about who got to use it first when they sorted it out amongst themselves and Izuku took the first turn.

You awoke to the sound of a shutter clicking right by your ear and blinking slowly, your eyes shot open and you jerked as you realized where you were.

And who you were with.

“Katsuki, get up!!” You hissed as the boys laughed loudly. Hell, even Aizawa cracked a smile and you threw him an apologetic look, though you didn’t know what it was for. “Katsuki!!”

He groaned and turned his face the other way.

This time, Aizawa couldn’t help but tease him a little. “Katsuki, huh?”

Bakugou turned back around and glared at the offending person smirking at him. “Shut the hell up.”

Aizawa clicked his tongue. “Respect your elders.”

“Oh f—”

“OKAY!!!” You shouted, clapping your hands together before he could cuss him out. “Who wants breakfast?”

“Oh, oh, oh, me!!!” Izuku cried, jumping up and down excitedly.

“Yay, food!!!” Eijirou cheered.

Bakugou blearily rubbed his eyes and yawned. Thank goodness he didn’t have to go in today. “Oi, didn’t you just eat?”

“Yeah, but that was last night!!” The little boy protested. “My stomach is hungryyyyy.”

“Fucking Shitty Hair.”

A warning tone came from Aizawa. “Bakugou.”

“... Sorry.”

“Coffee?” You offered to Aizawa as you all traveled back upstairs, the little ones racing ahead of you.

He sighed gratefully, blinking his eyes tiredly. “That sounds perfect.”

He was exhausted and the trip back was even more brutal than the one that took him to his destination. But he didn’t want to get into all of that now.

Eijirou and Izuku shot to their designated seats at the kitchen island and you put on an apron before pulling open the fridge to see what you could make.

“I meant what I said.” Bakugou confessed quietly while you cracked the eggs and prepared the bacon.

You didn’t look at him, not wanting to give it away to the other three who were watching you both like some kind of TV show.

“I know.” You murmured, a soft smile playing on the corners of your lips. “I did, too.”

Your heart fluttered as he boldly pressed a kiss to your temple and you blushed violently when the boys whooped and hollered at the two of you, Eijirou making faces of disgust and pretending to gag when Bakugou made it look like he was going to kiss you on the lips in front of them.

Aizawa chuckled as he handled the coffee machine, able to easily figure it out as he brewed enough for the both of you. “Look at that? You have learned how to play well with others, Bakugou.”

And this time, Bakugou didn’t even spare him a glance as he gazed at you until you looked his way.

“What?” You asked nervously, wondering if you had something on your face.

Bakugou hid a smirk.

“How ‘bout blueberry muffins to go along with that coffee, sweetheart?”

[miridiums-writing]

Barbarian Bakugou x Plus-sized!Villager!Reader

Summary ; reader loves in village that is ravaged by bararians, bakugou catches them and finds out they are mates

Warnings ; violence, there is implied sexual assault but it never happens kinda like a passing thought. I never actually state gender though reader does wear a dress, so if your someone who doesn’t like wearing dresses then you might have trouble fitting into the narrative. REMEMBER ANYONE CAN WEAR A DRESS, I WILL HYPE YOU UP. They eat in it, also they eat meat so if you’re vegetarian or anything of the sort you probably won’t relate, Bakugou yes he is a warning, swearing it is Bakugou after all.

AUTHORS NOTE ; ill have part 2 out hopefully in a few days, ill link both the petite reader version and the plus-sized reader to each other so whichever suits you better you can read.

Tag list : @squishytenya

Petite!reader version part 1

The village was alight, red ran rampant through the streets, the screams of young and old mixing to create a noise that would give anyone a headache. You were running as fast as you could, no shoes on, trying to pick up your skirts as you ran. You had been woken by a scream and hadn’t thought to put on shoes before you ran to escape the sea of arrows shot at your home. People dragged younger ones through the wreckage, others cried, others shouting for loved ones. Nobody seemed to be left unscathed.

Your feet were in tatters at this point, having ran through rocks and glass to get here. Your only motivation that got you this far, even with the pain you were in, was the orphanage at the top on town. On a slight hill further away from the village, secluded in a way. You hoped against hope the children were ok. You dodged through fire, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You had to make it. You had to keep them safe. Though in your blind panic you didn’t notice the figure stealthily following after you.

You were running up the hill now, twigs that littered the woods floor poking into your poor feet, causing you to slow slightly, but your determination kept you from walking. Just as the orphanage came into sight arms wrapped around your waist. You kicked in attempt to get away, hoping against hope you could escape, get to them. Those kids did nothing to deserve the pain. Your attempts did nothing but tire you more, your hope of escape starting to slip from your grasp. “Stay still dammit” a gruff voice stated. He moved you both back, further into the woods, blocking your view of the orphanage and kept you still.

“Oi Kirishima! Keep those idiots away from the orphanage” He called out further into the woods, not second later a muscular man with spiky hair and even spikier teeth seemed to appear in an instant and disappear just as quickly. With the disappearance of the other man he moved you so you could finally see his face, though his grip on you never loosened. If you were honest with yourself, he was rather pretty. Hard red eyes stared into yours and seemed to judge your appearance as you gaped at him. His blonde locks spiked out, much more naturally than the other mans, he had a defined jawline, and a look that screamed danger. In your curiosity you failed to notice how odd this whole situation was. Here you were being held down by an intimidation and rather frightening man, but you felt no fear towards him.

“Found you” he said, looking at you with a smirk as his face moved closer to yours. Just as you thought he was going to kiss you his face moved lower to your neck and started to pepper kisses and nips into the sensitive skin. You tensed in his hold, not sure what he was about to do, and scared for the outcome that seemed inevitable. Just then he roughly bit into your neck, causing you to shriek at the vast difference from what he was doing before and the pain that started to thump against your neck like a drum. When he was satisfied, he started to lick at your neck, no doubt cleaning up the blood. “There, now that’s sorted time to clean you up and get moving” He tightly grabbed a hold of your hand, pulling you close to his body. “If you try and run you wouldn’t like to know the fate of those kids you so wish to protect so behave.” You didn’t want to know what he could to, so you allowed him to pull you away from the orphanage.

He pulled you both down the hill and towards the town, he hadn’t told you his name and didn’t seem in the mood for light conversation, so you stayed quiet, not wanting to anger the man further than he already seemed to be. When you both got back to the village it was silent. A stark difference between the village you had left behind, and it set you on edge. He must have noticed how you had started to shake a little, though he didn’t say anything on it. “Hide you face into my back, quickly” he said, his voice slightly softer than earlier, though it didn’t stop the unease. Just as you opened your mouth to question it, he gave you a glare that made you close it instantly. You ducked your head down into his back behind him and tried to ignore the strares, questions swarming your mind. “right let’s move out” he shouted, his voice seeming even more loud now you were against his back, making you cringe slightly. With one hand now taking your weight he hoisted onto a horse, repositioning you in front of him to lean against his chest. “Get some sleep, its gonna be a long ride teddy bear”

When you woke you were still in his arms, though you were now wrapped up in a fur coat, keeping you warm from the wind. If you didn’t think about the fact he basically kidnapped you it could almost be sweet. He had positioned you in a way that meant the brunt of the wind was hitting against the fur coat, keeping you toasty warm. He was looking ahead, no doubt keeping control of the horse, though you did notice how he would glance down at you. Due to your position you couldn’t really see anything, giving in to the temptation of going back to sleep for now, who knew when you would be able to sleep again, you let your eyes closed and allowed yourself to relax, your head snuggling into his warm chest.

Your eyes fluttered open at a loud shout, startling you from the fragile sleep you had managed to get. “We’re almost there” He claimed, glancing down at your sleepy form curled into him. Cute. The thought was a fleeting one, but it made him freeze up slightly, he hoped you didn’t notice. This mate stuff was making him soft. The horse abruptly came to a stop and the man carefully gave you his hand to help you jump down. You noticed almost immediately this was much gentler than he had been previously, and honestly threw you for a loop. On one hand this was much nicer treatment than previously, even if he hadn’t been particularly bad, on the other hand what does this entail, does he want something in return? The man pulled you inside what looked like a large tent and pointed towards the bed to sit down, it was covered with fur blankets and looked rather nice and warm to cuddle up in.

“Look here’s the deal,” he said, sitting down on the floor before you, making your face in line with his. “You’re my mate, kinda like a soulmate, I guess. It’s a feeling. My name’s Bakugou Katsuki by the way. Call my Katsuki though, it’ll just piss me off if you call me anything else. Just, listen to what I say. Ill go get you some food, you look like you need it.” As Katsuki walks away you could hear him mutter under his breath “Skinny as anything” When he had officially left, and you decided he was far enough away you started to look around. The tent was rather spacious, but not to the point it was cold. If anything, it was so warm in here. Like an invisible fire was somewhere in the room keeping it warm. The tent itself smelled like wood pine and honeysuckle, and a hint of caramel, it felt more homely than your old village ever did. You knew you had to think through what he had told you, but you didn’t want to even think about it. Taken away from your home after it having been destroyed by them and he tells you you’re his soulmate and you need to listen him.

When Katsuki got back you were cocooned in the blankets, sure the room was warm, but as the night air drew in the rooms temperature seemed to drop drastically, so you had taken it upon yourself to collect all the blankets and pile them onto of yourself. Katsuki stood at the entrance dumbfounded at the sight, as in comparison he stood tall in his trousers and fur coat, with his necklace and earrings to adorn the look. He wasn’t used to feeling cold. He would need to thank his parents later for getting on at him to make sure he had enough blankets for his mate when it got cold. He placed the food down on the table and started picking apart the blankets until he revealed you, cuddling into yourself. “Look, I know its cold but you gotta eat, come on” He allows you to get yourself up, though you take one of the smaller blankets with you to combat the cold.

The meal itself wasn’t anything special. A meat of some kind with potatoes and asparagus. You were so hungry you ate it without question, too hungry to care. He watched you from the other side of the table, it made you slightly self-conscious but brushed it off as his thing, he had a habit of watching you. When you finished you made sure to tidy up your area as best as you could, not wanting to seem impolite. This made Katsuki scoff at you, your insecurity coming back quickly.

“Bed time” was all he said, even though you had been sleeping most of the day, the thought of curling up into the blanket seemed heavenly. As you climbed into the bed, securing yourself under the furs Katsuki came in behind you. He simply brought your body to his, circling his body around yours in a protective manner. With him so close to you, you found it hard to fall asleep. Though Katsuki seemed to find it easy, simply snuggling his face into your neck and falling asleep. You decided to go through your options. Option one, stay still and go to sleep unknowing to what could happen tomorrow, though by his current attitude and behaviour you now highly doubted it being too dangerous, or option two, somehow manage to escape his iron grip and run out of the tent, with no knowledge of where you were, how far from home, or what could be outside the tent. The thought of meeting something worse than Katsuki made you shiver and slightly move closer to him. At least you knew what he was capable of, plus you had the added protection that he claimed you as his mate, those usually ended happily. No one wanted to endanger their mate, it went against Barbarian law. Something you vaguely remembered researching when you were young and curious. With those thoughts in mind you allowed yourself to succumb to the warmth Katsuki provided and fall into a broken sleep.

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[boldlyvoid]

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea | Chapter 5-9

1Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Word Count: 14.3K

1-4, 5-9, Epilogue

Chapter 5

Spencer agreed to a Thursday night game night in her office sometime last week, and she’s spent every day since then planning it out for him.

Learning that he really loved Tandoori chicken, making it from scratch at home and packaging it into a couple containers to bring into work. She followed a recipe from Pinterest, hoping it bared any resemblance to what he was used to, only changing full chicken to boneless bite size cutlets, because he couldn’t use a knife in the prison.

She got a chess set at the store, as well as a deck of playing cards for the Vegas boy. Rushing out her door early Thursday morning so she could stop and get a coffee and one of his favourite doughnuts too.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to tell him how she felt any time soon, just wanting to show him friendship and support until he was finally out of prison. Vowing to uphold her oath, he was a patient in her care, she would care for him as such until he wasn’t.

She carefully placed her lunchbox and the chess set on the security desk, letting them look through it as she waited. Taking out all the food from her bag, looking through the plastic to ensure she wasn’t sneaking in anything.

“It’s just my lunch for the next 2 days, I promise,” she smiled.

“I know, but I have to look anyway,” the nice man smiled. “Have a good day today Dr. Pat.”

“Thank’s, you too, officer Kyle,” she smiled, picking her things back up and heading past the gates.

Spencer was turning the corner towards the infirmary as she walked towards the door. Officer Wilkins holding him in handcuffs as he roughly walked Spencer to her office.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she stopped, looking at Wilkins like he was an idiot. “Un-cuff inmate Reid, he’s not a threat. Plus, he can hold some things for me.”

“Whatever,” he huffed, roughly taking the cuffs off Spencer's wrists before leaving. Not saying another word.

“What a dick,” she mumbled as she handed him the lunchbox.

“Good morning Spencer,” she changed her tone to match her growing smile.

He sighed, smiling back as he rubbed his wrists. “Good morning to you too, Y/N.”

She opened the infirmary door, walking past all the sleeping men in the care area. Unlocking her office before inviting Spencer in. “Sorry I was almost late,” she said softly, taking the chess set and a brown paper bag out of her purse.

She set it on Spencer's desk along with the coffee that was in her hand, “for all your help this week,” she smiled.

Spencer placed her lunchbox in her fridge, laying a hand on her back as he walked past her towards his desk. “You’re too kind to me,” he was bashful as always.

“I have something I wanted to talk to you about,” she closed the door softly, making sure the blinds on the doors window were closed as well.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he tried to joke as he sat down.

“I asked to help with your case, maybe give a fresh opinion, so Penelope sent me all the files but I haven’t opened them yet,” she sat on the edge of her desk. Trying to read his body language as he took out his donut.

He liked the pink frosting off his finger, nodding as he followed along. “Why not?”

“I wanted your permission,” she pressed her lips together in an awkward smiled. His eyes raising to meet hers, innocent as ever.

“Oh?”

“You’re very reserved, you have rules about what you share, I don’t want to break the trust we’ve built by looking into something so intimate,” she explained her thoughts. “It’s not fair for me to learn about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, without you being the one to tell me.”

“What do you know already?” He asked softly, blinking at her as he patiently waited.

She smiled at him softly, grateful that he understood. “I know the 3 charges that you’re in on, and that you’re being framed.”

“I think I would prefer it if you read the file and just asked me questions. I don’t think I have the mental capacity to recite it all back to you today,” he was honest. Taking a sip of his coffee and looking away from her.

Giving up so much of himself to her so early in the day, she felt like he was finally comfortable with her.

She found the key to his thoughts and it opened just right, she could see the hurt that flowed through him, but she could also see the happiness. The side of him that he was afraid to bring out, in fear it would get him in more trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed. Sitting at her desk and finally opening the email form Penelope.

She read through his tox-screens, his drug history, his mental state. His first-hand accounts, witness statements, clues and findings his team had made. It all felt like the plot to a bad movie about revenge, possibly even female rage. But for what?

“I finished reading,” she said softly, brows furrowed as she chews the inside of her cheek. “Do you know anyone other than this Mr. Scratch guy who you’ve put away, wronged, lead on, or just pissed off?”

“Why?” He asked, clearly attached to the idea this was all Mr. Scratch’s doing.

“It feels like revenge, but very well planed. Like a women is mad at you so she found your weakness, I’ve done mean shit to exes in the past but this is insane. They knew you’d do anything for your mom, they knew your drug history, and the fact you might get schizophrenia one day, they wanted to drug you and make you think you did all this.”

Spencer stood then, listening to her words as he scrunched his face. Thinking as hard as he could, “can you call Penelope?”

“Yeah,” she nodded as she dialled her number, putting her on speaker phone.

“Well hello there, Love Doctor,” Penelope teased as she answered.

“Um hi, Spencer wanted to talk to you,” she panicked.

“Oh, sorry, how are you Spencer?”

Spencer looked so confused, “I’m good… Y/N and I were looking at the case files you sent-”

“Good, did you find anything?” Penelope cut in, eager to talk to him.

“Have you looked into everyone I’ve ever encountered on a case? Specifically women?” Spencer asked. “I told my lawyer and Emily that I remember a woman being there and helping, she must know me from a case too, like the other prison escapees he’s helped?”

“On it pretty boy, any specifics about her that you remember?” Penelope asked over the sound of her keyboard clicking away.

“Long brown hair, but it’s probably different now,” he added. “Everything else is dark, I didn’t see her face or any other features.”

“Alright, call me anytime Spence, I miss you,” Penelope said softly, changing her tone to a more sensitive one. “Take care of each other, my loves.”

“Love you,” they say at the same time. Looking at each other awkwardly after she hung up, leaving them to sit with their words alone.

Spencer was leaning so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating off him. Spencer placed his hand on her shoulder as he stood straight, towering over her as she looked up at him.

“I have patients to talk to, but I brought chess for you to teach me later,” she smiled up at him.

“Can’t wait,” he beamed a smile back.

She felt his hand rub the back of her blue scrubs lightly, pulling away as he walked back around to his desk. She watched him with careful eyes, wishing he would have stayed longer.

—

Normally at 4:30, Y/N would bring Spencer a tray of whatever the kitchen was serving her patients for dinner that night. Tonight, however, she walked into her office at 5 pm on the dot, closing the clinic for the night and putting all her attention on Spencer.

“So,” she smiled as she leaned against her office door, excitement radiating out of her. “A little birdie told me that you really like Indian food, Tandoori chicken to be exact…”

“No way?” He gasped as he turned around in his chair.

She nodded with a cheeky grin, “homemade so I could sneak it in.”

She took her lunch box out of her mini-fridge, opening it up to show him the 2 Tupperware containers. One for him, the other for her. She took the lids off and dished it onto 2 plates she keeps in the cabinet above the fridge.

Spencer grew more and more excited as she warmed it up, filling the room with a familiar smell. He was so happy, “I don’t know how to thank you for everything you do for me?”

“Come here,” she said softly, watching him walk towards her carefully.

She wrapped her arms around his middle, holding him in a hug. He carefully placed his hands on her back, holding her against his chest as he snuggled his cheek into her hair again.

“I’ll take hugs as payment from now on,” she pulled back from him as the microwaved beeped.

Taking a plastic spoon from the cutlery jar, she opened the microwave and handed him a plate. “Did you want to stay in here or go to the break room? I never use it cause I don’t have any co-workers, but it has a couch and a coffee table?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking the plate from her and waiting for her to warm up her own meal before taking a bite.

He was ever the gentleman.

Y/N reached back into her lunch box, taking out the package of naan bread, seeing Spencer’s eyes basically roll into the back of his head. “You thought of everything?”

“Bread is my life,” she laughed.

When her food was ready, she placed it on top of the chess box and led the way down to the break room. Spencer holding every door for her.

She flicked on the lights in the break room, watching them strobe before making that awful powering up frequency. She groaned, putting her food on the table before turning on a few lamps instead.

The room went from bright and anxious to relaxed and personal, the amber glow bouncing off the cream walls, it was nice. As nice as it could be in a prison. She never thought she’d be having a date at a prison.

That’s basically what this was, a date.

She made him dinner, they were going to play games, he was going to sit right beside her, close enough to kiss. She really wanted to, she’s thought about it a lot, his pink lips were perfect and she just wanted to see how they’d feel between her own.

But she wont.

“Dig in honey,” the name rolled over her tongue like it was always meant to.

She felt his eyes on her right away, realizing that she called him honey in a situation where he wasn’t crying, where he wasn’t vulnerable. She said it as a term of endearment, she couldn’t stop the embarrassment form settling in her veins.

She sat beside his softly, picking up her dinner and pretending it didn’t happen. “Thank you,” Spencer cut into the awkwardness.

“You’re welcome,” she said softly. Feeling like she could flip inside out at any moment.

From the corner of her eye she saw him take the first bite, closing his eyes as he appreciated the moment. His shoulders settled as he chewed, she could swear he almost moaned as he ate it. She has had the food in the cafeteria before, she understood his reaction.

“That good?” She asked, teasing him softly.

He nodded, silent as he took it all in. He took another bite, and another, she felt like he was going to get the hiccups at this rate but it was too cute to stop. He was like a stray dog eating inside for the first time in months, it made her happy and then a little sad.

He stayed quiet the whole time. Crossing his legs as he sat on the couch, the plate pulled in close to his chest as he shovelled spoonfuls of food into his mouth. She sat there admiring him as he did so, falling more and more every time she glanced at him.

“That was delicious,” Spencer said as he stood, placing his plate on the counter across the room. “Are you done?” He asked, taking her plate as she reached it out to him.

“Yeah, thanks,” she watched him carefully, always wanting to help her in whatever way he could.

He didn’t sit on the couch when he came back, instead, sitting on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, taking the chess set out and beginning to set it up. Not wanting to miss a moment of the freedom he felt when he was with her.

“So, chess is pretty easy to learn,” he said, looking up at her through thick eyelashes as he spoke. “Do you know any of the rules yet?”

“Um, I know where they all go, I know that you can’t go through other pieces and the horse gets to jump?” She tried to remember all the way back to grade 4, the last time someone explained the rules to her.

He was so soft with her, explaining the rules and showing her what to do. His hand would lightly brush over hers occasionally, eventually, he’d just guide her hand over the pieces that she should move. It was so nice to just be alone with him, knowing they were both allowed to be happy.

The room was mostly silent, only the sound of Spencer's advice and her giggle as she still wasn’t grasping the concept of the game.

“I just like, don’t care about the rules?” She couldn’t stop giggling at the fact she wasn’t picking up on anything he said.

Spencer laughed, it was deep and hearty, right from his soul, “then how do you want to play?”

She picked up the queen and moved it to a random spot, “I want to put this here and fight your guy. That’s why I don't get this, what is my XP? What are their skills? I was raised on Pokemon, honey.”

He made his way back to the couch, sitting closely beside her. “Well sugar pie, do you have any other games you want to play?”

She couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and pressing her lips against his. His hands wrapped around her waist on instinct as they connected.

It was everything she imagined. Soft, gentle, refreshing. Like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot summers day. She wanted more, never letting up as she kissed him.

Spencer was the one to pull off first, “shit,” she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she stared at him, horrified.

He laughed, smiling at her softly. “It’s okay,” he promised, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

She doesn’t stop him from pulling her back in, holding her hand on his cheek as he kissed her again. Hungrier than before, Spencer’s tongue was on a mission. He tastes like dinner, but with his own Spencer difference.

Kissing him felt like a fairytale coming true.

She forgot where they were, his hands on the back of her scrubs and her hands in his hair as their mouths clashed. She started to lay back on the couch, pulling him down on top of her.

“We can't,” he pants against her lips. Regretting it as he pulls away from her.

“Sorry, this was unprofessional I know,” she tried to play it off.

Spencer pulled her back in, flush against his chest once more. “No, I don’t regret it. It’s just, I’m not ready.”

“Oh,” she says softly. Then it clicks, “oh, oh my god, Spencer I’m so sorry I forgot. I didn’t mean to push you into anything,” she worries, running her hands over his arms softly.

He shakes his head, “you didn’t. I want to, believe me, I just don’t think I can handle the after part…”

“I cried for 3 hours after I had sex again, after everything,” she told him in complete honesty. Not even Savannah or Derek knew that.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” she assured him. “You shouldn’t have to be the only vulnerable one here, I want you to know about me.”

“You don’t have to tell me the details, I don’t want to think about someone hurting you,” he whispered, his eyes innocently studying her face for how she was feeling.

“Okay, so here’s everything else,” she was still holding his face in her hands. Rubbing her thumb over his cheeks. “I had 2 moms and a little sister, and I was raised in Boston. I met Savannah in 2004, I worked with her until a few years ago. She’s my best friend, Derek is like my big brother.”

She gave him the basics, “I don’t have a dad, my mom used the same donor for me and my sister, so I’ve never really felt safe around men because I never knew many.”

“Understandable,” he smiled softly. “what’s your mom like?”

“She died when I was 26,” she pressed her lips together awkwardly. “I haven’t talked to her wife since then, my other mom, she remarried not long after. I think she was cheating on my mom when she was going through chemo.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I can relate to a lot of the stories I know about you already. My mom was my world, I don’t know my dad. I’ve been hurt by people, I’ve lost a lot of myself while trying to help others,” she brushed her nose against his softly. Letting him know she wasn’t pulling back any time soon. “Who you are is not what you did, or what you’ve been through.”

He kisses her again softly. Breathing in through his nose lightly, his hand on her back pulling her in closer and closer. He didn’t want to let her go, and she was more than happy staying in his embrace forever.

He pulled back softly, “I lied to you.” He whispered against her lips.

“When?” She asked, scared to know the answer.

“I do remember you from Derek’s wedding, he told me about you a long time ago. I told him I was ready for dating again when you told him about Mark,” he couldn’t look at her.

“That’s not a huge lie,” she smiled softly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking at you all night, with that little blond boy. You two were so sweet, Mark got really mad at me for staring at you actually.”

“Derek told me when he hurt you, he came to my apartment right after so he wouldn’t go and kill him,” Spencer’s voice was so low she had to stare at his lips to understand him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she shook her head softly, kissing the tip of his nose. “Thank you.”

“I don’t want to go back to my cell,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers.

Breaking her heart in the process.

She kissed his cheeks and his lips a few times, peppering kisses to his soft face to make up for it. “We can’t do this again until you’re free,” she whispered.

“I understand.”

“So you better think long and hard about this woman you remember so I can track her down and shove her in that cell instead,” Y/N’s stern voice made him smile.

“Thank you,” he replied again, hugging her the way he promised he would thank her from now on.

—

For being 9 pm on a spring night, it was rather warm in the Vermont parking lot. She left the prison a while ago, not able to leave Spencer’s gravitational pull yet as she sat there, staring at the prison thinking about him alone in his cell instead of pressed against her chest for the rest of the night.

Thinking about the feeling of Spencer’s hands on her body and his tender lips. Her hand over her mouth as she remembered how his bottom lip ghosted over her own, the anticipation was enough to light her on fire.

She took out her phone and called Derek, knowing he would put her on speaker if they were already in bed for the night. Really needing her best friends right now.

“Hey kick-ass, how are you doing today?” Derek’s voice was overly cheery, “Hey!” Savannah added in the background.

“I’m in love with him.”

Chapter 6

She barely slept anymore. Waking up at 6 am every morning without her alarm clock, her heart physically aching to return to Spencer's side after a night without him. She felt like a love-sick school girl, wanting to be with him all day even if they had nothing to say. Just looking at him was enough to make her happy.

A few weeks passed. Weeks filled with smiles and laughter, singing and reading, inside jokes and shared jello cups. She was so madly in love with him, hugging him every morning when he arrived and every night before he left. Keeping her word, kissing him on the cheek every so often instead.

She started a routine of picking up a coffee and a donut for Spencer every single Thursday, worried that he probably thought about his case all night, yet again. Which only kept her up worrying all night about him, wondering if he was doing okay all alone.

Only getting sleep when she remembered that he had a photo of her, his mom, Derek and hank with him. He’d be okay.

She walked into the infirmary to find Jerry and Mike waiting for her with a guard. Mike bleeding all down his face while Jerry held his clearly broken hand.

“You two are going to be the death of me,” she sighed. Putting all her things in her office before coming back to care for them.

She excused the guard, telling him she had it from here. They wouldn’t put up any more fights with her, they looked up to her like a momma bear, and they were her terrible cubs.

“It is 7:33 am, who the fuck did you have to fight this early?” She whisper yelled at them. Not wanting to wake Leo in the care ward, “who is worth this?”

“You don’t want to know,” Mike said under his breath.

“Well clearly he’s not here, is he dead or in violent crimes? If you two fucked up our plan of me helping you during parole next year, I’m going to be pissed,” she tried her best to entice the answers out of them.

“It was Shaw,” Jerry said softly. “He was planning to hurt the new guy, he’s all fake buddy-buddy with him.”

“Excuse me?” She panicked.

“He’s been talking to Milos at night in the locker room, Wilkins lets him out of his cell and into gen-pop,” Mike carried on the story as she tried to clean the blood off his eyebrow.

“What are they going to do to Spence?”

“Spence?” Jerry teased her, poking her side. “I didn’t know he had a nickname already. Why haven’t we met him yet?”

“I’ve kept him locked away to be safe, I’m going to find a way to keep him here at night,” She said softly. “He’s best friends with my brother, I can’t let him get hurt.”

“So you knew him in freedom land?”

She nodded, “a little.”

“All you need is a bandaid,” she changed the subject as she reached into her kit. “And Jerry I’m going to have to set your fingers back in place, if you scream in my face, I will kick you in the nuts.”

They laughed at her fake tuff guy act, never actually being able to hurt them. They were her buddies, giving her a big hug after she finished with them. Getting them both a pudding and telling them to stay put for the day if they wanted to.

Spencer found her in the lab when he arrived, she knew it was him when the door opened, no one else had a passkey to get in. She was writing down some numbers on a chart when he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She dropped her pen and turned around in his grasp, holding his face in her hands immediately as she pulled him into a quick kiss.

“I thought you said I couldn’t do that again till I’m free?” He asked softly. Kissing her a second time as he finished.

She smiled against his lips, “you’re free when we’re alone.”

He kissed her harder. His hands around her waist as he picked her up slightly. Twirling her around as they kissed, she laughed against his skin. Unable to stop herself from smiling as she held onto him.

She kissed him one last time as he put her down on the floor, “I have a coffee and donut for you in my office.”

“You’re too good to me, Sugar Pie.”

“Anything for you, Honey Bunch,” she bit her lip as she smiled at him again. So absolutely overwhelmed with love for him.

“I actually have a serious question to ask you,” his tone changed, making her concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m still trying to figure out more about that night, and I think I want to try exposure therapy,” he explained. “I was wondering if you’d help me get high, so I can remember what happened in the same mindset.”

“Okay,” she nodded softly. “I can book you in for the night here, say you’re under observation, and I’ll stay here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

She kissed him softly again, looking up at him with a smile after. “If you’re sure about it, I’ll help you. But we need some ground rules.”

“Of course,” he agreed. Letting go of her as she stepped back, leaning against the counter now.

“No kissing, nothing like that, we’ll do it in my office so you can be alone and then later you’ll sleep in the observation room. Leo is in there, he’s harmless and sleeps all night on his morphine anyway,” she explained. “I’m not going to take advantage of you, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s going to be hard to sober up again once you get a taste of euphoria in here.”

He nodded along as she set the rules, “those are good. Thank you.”

“They drugged you with heroin, and while I know where to get some, I’m not letting you do that,” she laughed. “I have Dilaudid in pills and liquid morphine.” Letting him pick his poison.

“The pills will be fine,” he said softly.

“Alright,” she smiled. “And if you want, when you get out I can take you to a meeting? You’ll need to talk to someone other than me, someone who gets it.”

“You’ll stay with me after all this?”

“As long as you let me,” she felt her heart grow 3 sizes at the way his puppy dog eyes stared back at her. “Go have your breakfast and I will come to see you soon, okay honey?”

His smile was glorious, she could feel the love radiating off him as he looked at her. It felt wonderful, knowing at that moment her feelings weren’t one-sided. That he wanted her just as bad as she wanted him. He was going to be good to her.

—

She had mike and Jerry help her move the couch from the break room and into her office, allowing them to meet Spencer, finally. It was awkward at first, two big muscle men telling him how much they also loved their Sugar.

“Should we tell him?” Mike nudged Jerry.

“What?” Spencer asked softly, sitting at his desk on the other side of the room, really not enjoying their alpha energy.

“Shaw, Milos and Wilkins are all secretly buddies, they were planning to hurt you and so Mike and Jerry beat Shaw up in the yard,” she scrunched her face as she explained it, not ready for his reaction.

“How?”

“After they cut that kid's throat, they wanted to get you to run heroin for them. But you ended up in here, we heard them in gen-pop last night saying they wanted to get you,” Jerry explained as he played with the bandages on his hand. “He won't be out of the violent offender's infirmary for a while.”

“Thank you,” he replied to them with a pressed-lipped smile. “I need to call my team about the case.”

That was their queue to leave, Y/N patting them on the back for the help, telling them they could stay with Leo or go back to the yard, she didn’t care. They just couldn’t be in her office for this.

Spencer looked a little pissed off. “I didn’t ask them to do that,” she said, defensively.

“I’m not mad at you,” he shakes his head softly as steps into her space. “You’re the only person I can trust in here.”

She placed her hand on his chest softly, “call Penelope. Take your time on the phone with the team.” She handed him her cell phone, “FaceTime them if you want. See their faces, it’ll be okay.”

He hugged her, a silent thank you. She ran her hands over his back as she pressed her face into his neck. Holding back every instinct to tell him she loved him as she pulled away.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. Taking her phone, “how do I?”

She couldn’t help laughing, “here,” she dialled Penelope’s cellphone number and hit the FaceTime button.

Seeing her beautiful, bright and bubbly face smile as she answered. “Hey! Oh my god, hold on,” they watched as she got up and ran down a hallway.

Spencer was instant giggles and smiles, a side of him she’s never seen before. True, pure love. This was his family, these were his people. She could see herself fitting into his little world one day.

“Guys! It’s Spencer!” She yelled as she ran into another room.

“What’s wrong?” “Is he okay?”

Suddenly she turned the phone sideways to show all his co-workers. “Hi!” He waved to them.

“Spence!” Emily and JJ cheered, “oh you look so good.”

“I feel good, how are you all?” He asked softly, taking her phone and sitting down at his desk.

She watched him softly from the door, slipping out when she saw his attention was fully on his past life. She walked down the hall towards the lab, hearing his laughter through the walls.

—

She placed 2 pills in a plastic cup, taking an apple juice and jello from the fridge for Spencer. She placed it on his desk 20 minutes before his shift ended, giving him a little space to decide when he wanted to. He told her that he get’s cold when he comes down from a high, so she leaves a fluffy blanket and a pillow on the couch before slipping back out of the room.

She returned to the care unit, looking over Leo as he got ready for the night. Administering his meds and wishing him a good night. She closed his curtain, so when Spencer eventually went to bed he wouldn’t be disturbed.

When she finally settled into her office for the night, Spencer was in the dark. Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey,” he said softly.

“How are you?” She asked softly. Closing the door behind herself. Locking it and making sure all the blinds were closed.

“It’s going to hit soon,” he said softly. Suddenly embarrassed and closed off, hiding from her as he laid down.

She didn’t want to bother him, sitting at her desk with her reports. The light from the computer is just enough to see what she was looking at. She glanced at him every few minutes to make sure he was okay.

He enjoys it at first, a blissed-out look on his face as his head is tossed back against the couch. She knows the exact euphoria he’s feeling, she understood perfectly why someone would want to escape like that.

Then his face changes as he starts to hate it, he mumbles to himself with his eyes squeezed shut, she could see him gripping the sheets as he tries to force himself to remember.

She’s uncomfortable watching it, feeling like an intruder. She tried to only focus on her work, flipping through emails and Twitter, scrolling through Facebook for the first time in months to preoccupy her mind.

He was like that for at least an hour.

She could hear his teeth chattering as he came down, just like he said would happen. “You okay, honey?”

“Y-yeah,” he tried to speak through the shaking. “C-can we cuddle?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, turning on her desk lamp before joining him on the couch.

She pulled him up into a sitting position, sitting where his head once was and letting him settle into her lap. She ran her hands through his hair, combing through the locks as she shushed him. Running her hand up and down his back in a tender motion, he snuggled into her leg.

“I’m not that high anymore,” he says softly.

“I know, it’s okay if you are. I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

“I love you,” he whispers.

It makes her stop. Her whole body stills at the words, he wanted to clarify so she’d know it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. She closes her eyes and squeezes them shut, biting her lip as she tries not to burst into tears.

He felt it too.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “sit up.” She instructs him softly.

She laid down against the couch then, waiting for him to snuggle into her side. Wrapping the blanket around them both as they found the most comfortable position.

“Sorry,” he whispered against the crook of her neck.

“It’s okay, it just feels wrong for me to say it back right now. I feel the same, believe me, Spencer.” She wanted to assure him to the best of her ability. “But you’re still an inmate in my care, I can’t. Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” he pulled back to look her in the eyes, his own still droopy from how tired the drugs made him. “I’m going to love you regardless.”

She broke her own rules. Kissing him softly, holding him close to her, under the blanket where both their body heat was trapped. She had never felt safer in her entire life.

Spencer only crawling into that bed in the care ward when he woke up to her alarm the following morning.

Chapter 7

There’s someone banging on her office door just a little after 8 am. She was in the middle of putting a new pair of scrubs on over her long-sleeve undershirt, the banging on her door doesn’t stop until she opens the door.

“What?” She yells at them.

It’s Officer Wilkins. “Where is inmate Reid? We have a visitor for him.”

“No one is scheduled to see him today?”

“There is now. Where is he?” The man towered over her. Trying his best to intimidate her.

“Care ward. I’ll get him. You can go wait in the waiting room,” she pushes past him. Watching him stumble as he hits the wall.

“He’s not worth dying over,” he whispers under his breath.

She doesn’t leave Reid’s side as Wilkins attempts to escort him to an interrogation room. Y/N stands in the observation room as Spencer waits, cuffed to the table. Looking through the mirror at each other, only he couldn’t see her. He just knew she would be there.

“Mom?” Spencer’s shocked voice breaks her out of her thoughts as she sees Diana walking into the room.

A dark-haired woman she’s never met before escorting her in. Y/N whips her phone out to take a quick photo before running back to her office as quickly as she can.

Y/N: I need you to check on Cassie, Diana’s nurse. Someone I don’t know just brought Diana to the prison.

She attached the photo she took, setting her phone down to looking through the visitor's logs on her computer. Wanting to know the name of the woman accompanying Diana.

“I’m sorry,” the familiar voice says from her doorway.

She looks up at him from her desk. Wilkins is stepping into her space with a look of guilt, taking his baton off his belt.

“You don’t have to do this,” she backed up against the wall, trying to keep as much distance from him as possible.

“I have to,” his tone changed. Like a personality switch, his eyes darkened as he charged at her.

She ran around the desk, watching him follow. Punching her in the face, causing her to fall back against the couch, she didn’t want him to get on top of her. Dropping to the carpeted floor as he dove onto the couch.

She crawled on the floor towards the door as he tried to get up. Standing as fast as she could, roundhouse kicking him in the face with a grunt. Her foot hit his jaw at just the right angle, rendering him unconscious.

She reached for his cuffs as soon as he hit the floor, “Leo!! Help!” She screamed down the hall.

She heard bare feet running down the hall, followed by the sound of rubber on linoleum. “Sugar??” Mike and Jerry yelled as they followed.

“Watch him,” she insisted once the cuffs were on him. “Hurt him if you have to.”

She took the second pair of cuffs off Wilkins's belt before running out of the room, her lip busted and bleeding down her neck.

She ran down the hall towards Spencer, busting into the room and knocking the nurse to the ground. Struggling to get her onto her stomach, “stop struggling, who the fuck are you?”

“Get off me!” She screamed in return.

Y/N cuffed her and pulled her to her feet, pushing her against the stone wall.

“What is going on?” Spencer stood up, cuffed to the table so he couldn’t help.

“Wilkins just attacked me, Diana wasn’t supposed to be here,” she said over her shoulder in Spencer’s direction. “So I’ll ask again,” she whispered in the woman's ear as she pushed her against the wall harder. “Who, the fuck! Are you?”

“He knows me,” she spat out.

Y/N ripped her off the wall, making her look at Spencer who was shocked, speechless as he tried to remember her face. “Who is she?”

“She told me Cassie was fired, she’s been with me all morning?” Diana tried to explain, slightly freaking out.

“I sent her photo to Penelope, I need a guard,” Y/N said, hauling the unknown women into the hall with her.

—

The prison was put on lockdown as they tried to figure out this security breach. Wilkins and the nurse being held in prison custody as they waited for the BAU team to fly in.

Figuring out that her name was Lindsay Vaughn, Spencer remembered as much as he could about her. How he tried to save her dad, losing him to his carnal need to kill. Lindsay following closely in her daddy's footsteps.

Diana sat at Spencer’s desk, Mike and Jerry stand watch at the door. Y/N was sitting on top of her desk in front of Spencer, it was his turn to run alcohol over her cuts. Holding her face in his hands as he cared for her.

“I'm sorry,” he mouths the words at her. Not wanting his mother to overhear them.

She nods in response, unable to smile as the cut on her lips stings. All things considered, she could have been in a lot worse condition if it wasn’t for Derek and her training.

She wants to kiss him, she can tell he’s looking over her shoulder at his mom. Waiting to make sure she’s not looking before he leans in a little closer.

Pressing their lips together as silently as possible, his eyes still on her’s as they did so. It’s the most tender kiss she’s ever had, “I’m okay Spence,” she said softly as he pulled back.

“I’m still sorry you were dragged into this,” holding her against his chest softly.

From where she was sitting on top of her desk, she placed her head on his chest, holding him as close as she could, his cheek resting on her head. She wrapped her legs around him, not wanting to let him go, ever.

Needing the comfort he brought her, now more than ever.

When Derek and she started training again it was mostly to help her feel safe. To know what to do if it happened again. She didn’t ever expect it to, thinking it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. That she’d learn from it and then she wouldn’t be in this situation again, being punched in the face by a man.

She started to cry, the throbbing pain in both her face and her foot taking over as the adrenaline dissipated, she was too overwhelmed to do anything more. He let her cry against him, rubbing his hand on her back as he kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t wait for him to get out of here, and she was going to leave with him.

—

Derek is the first to burst through the door. Wrapping Spencer up in the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give. Rocking Spencer back and forth in his grasp as he kissed Spencer's cheek a few times.

He pulled back, holding Spencer's face in his hands. Smiling so he didn’t cry, “they’re dropping the charges.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope,” Derek shakes his head adding, “You’re free.” Expecting Spencer to hug him again.

Instead, Spencer turns to Y/N and pulls her into a kiss. She’s startled at first, eyes wide open as Spencer’s hands find her waist and pulls her right up against him.

She can't help but settle against him. Holding his face in her hands as she kisses him back. He picks her up slightly, spinning her around with his face buried in her neck as she yelps.

Everyone in the room watching him celebrate with her in shocked silence.

He placed her back on the ground, kissing her one last time. “You did it, Spence,” she smiles at him.

“We did it.”

She hears someone clearing their throat. Both of them turning to see the Warden as well as the entire BAU team standing in her doorway. But they don’t pull apart, Spencer’s hand stays on her side as they wait to get yelled at.

“I quit,” Y/N said before he could say anything to her, “and I might sue.”

“I’m suing for sure,” Spencer added.

“We’re terribly sorry for the condition of your stay Doctor Reid. And Doctor Y/L/N, I’ll never be able to make it up to you. I’m incredibly sorry for what Wilkins did,” the warden tried to cover his ass from a bureau lawsuit.

“Too late for that,” Emily added. Stepping into the room more. “Doctor Reid will be leaving with us, now.”

“Understood,” the Warden hurried out of the room before any more damage could be done.

Everyone took a turn hugging Spencer then. A handful of them even hugging Y/N as well.

Emily wrapped Y/N up in a hug, rubbing her back the way she would all those years before. “Thank you, you have no idea what he means to us.”

“I think I do,” she laughed against her. “If that’s not weird?”

“Not at all,” she pulled back, looking at Y/N with her big beautiful eyes, her bangs pushed out of the way so she could take a good look again. “You two are good together.”

She smiled, “thanks Em.”

“We need to fill him in on everything, will you stay with Diana?” Emily asked.

“Of course, I’m just going to be packing up some things anyway,” she said as she turned to Spencer. “Have fun with your friends, honey.”

“Thanks, sugar,” he kissed her on the cheek before walking out. Everyone whistling and hollering at the boldness Dr. Reid had developed in prison.

They all filed out after him, she watched the door with a soft smile as they wandered down the hall, Spencer taking them to the break room so they could chat.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Diana’s small voice came from Spencer’s desk.

“Oh, Diana,” she smiled. “Can I give you a hug?”

Diana nodded as she walked over to her, wrapping her up in a hug, much like how Spencer would. She can imagine Spencer’s hugs once feeling like this, imagining him small and shy, holding her slightly. Unlike his more beefy, relaxed form since being in prison.

“He means the world to me too,” she says softly as Diana pulls away.

“You saved him, if he didn’t have you he might not still be my soft and sweet little Spencer,” Diana patted her shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for making him,” she laughed slightly. “He’s a wonderful man, I have a feeling you played a big role in that.”

Her smile was just like his. The smile of a mother, someone who was going to love him forever, maybe she’d love her too. Y/N felt a little emotional, this could be her family one day.

Chapter 8

There was a lot of information to process as she sat at the BAU round table.

Learning the entire plot of some women’s revenge against Spencer, just how much Wilkins and Lindsay were involved, the crazy scheme they planned and how terribly it would have ended if she wasn’t there.

Spencer, on the other hand, was visiting this Cat person in prison. The one who orchestrated it all, the one who was obsessed with Spencer, the love of her life, to the point she might be having his baby. He had some things to settle with her.

He was on edge before he left, going with Derek and JJ while Y/N stayed back with Diana. David Rossi had even offered to let them all stay at his guest house later that night, seeing as Spencer’s apartment was a crime scene.

Lindsay murdered Cassie, leaving her dead body on Spencer’s apartment floor. Ruining the place he was so desperate to return to.

She was a little out of it. Trying to think of everything that happened and everything she would have to do in the next few days. Compiling a list in her mind as the anxiety bubbled in her gut.

She needed a new job and a new place to live. First, she’d have to go back to Vermont to pack, and she’d have to find a way to support her boys on Parole. And Mike and Jerry.

She put her hands over her face and rested against the table. Overwhelmed with everything, her face still hurting, the lights were too much, she was tired.

Then she was crying softly.

“Hey,” Emily rubbed her back softly. “Shhh, it’s okay, what’s wrong Y/N?”

She sat up and wiped her eyes with a small laugh, embarrassed that her kinda ex-girlfriend was comforting her. “I’m stressed?” She answered, not even really sure herself.

Emily smiled while she nodded, looking so different now than she did back when they first met. Older, but in a beautiful way, gracefully becoming who she was always meant to be. “I get it, believe me.”

She remembered Derek saying she ‘died’ once. How they buried her casket and how pissed they were when they found out she was actually alive. Y/N only knew Emily re-born, as they called her.

She was always caring, always wanted to comfort and make people happy. It was the way she coped with hurting them all, but it carried on past the team. It carried on to strangers, victims, sometimes even unsub’s.

And most definitely Y/N.

There was a part of Y/N that wonders what loving Emily would have been like; if it would have felt half as good as loving Spencer. Or would it be better? She’d never really know, but she could imagine it would have been nice.

“How can we help?” Emily asked, still as wonderful as ever.

“I need a new job,” she laughed. “Can Penelope use her mad skills to find a reputable business in need of a doctor around here?”

“Are you moving back to Virginia?” She smiled at the thought.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, a smile growing on her face. “I’m kind of attached to Spencer now.”

“Good, maybe Derek can help you find a place, he has like, what 7? Right now that he’s fixing up?” Emily threw out ideas. “You’ll get the ball rolling soon, it’ll all be fine.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For not giving up on him, I know you would never but, I was worried he had lost all hope and you never did. Thank you.”

Emily hugged her again, not saying anything. Y/N knew there was nothing to thank her for, this was a family. They would kill for each other if they needed to.

“Let’s go see Penelope,” Emily replied as she pulled away. Standing and extending a hand for Y/N.

The BAU offices were so interesting, many people running around to get jobs done before the end of the day as the main team chilled. It was like any other office she was in; controlled chaos and hierarchy.

Diana was sitting with Penelope in her office, flipping through a scrapbook while eating a jello cup. It made her smile to see it ran in the family.

“Hey,” Penelope cheered as she noticed them.

“I was just going to ask for some help with something, I see you’re busy,” Y/N awkwardly commented on the situation.

“Oh, we’re not,” Diana said. “I was showing her photos of Spencer. Would you like to see them?”

“I’d love to, um while I’m here, Penelope would you be willing to help me search for a good job?” She asked a lot mousier than Spencer would have if he was asking her for something.

“Of course, what are we looking for?” She wheeled to her main computer, cracking her knuckles as she got ready to look.

“Um, anyone hiring a GP close to here, I’m willing to go all the way to DC for work,” she explained. “I just want a place where I won't get punched again,” she tried to laugh at the trauma.

“The sanatarium is hiring, they’ve got good ratings and not a lot of patient complaints, they’re looking for a physician to care for the elderly members of the program,” Penelope explained as she clicked through screen after screen of info.

“That would be nice,” she smiled towards Diana. “Did you like the one you were at?”

“Oh yes,” Diana mused. “I had many friends there, I miss them and the social aspect. For a bunch of loons, I really loved the company.” She laughed at herself.

“I send the link to you,” Penelope smiled. “Now let me see his little baby bum again that one is my favourite, he’s so funny,” she leaned back in close to Diana.

All the pictures were priceless. Seeing Spencer grow up, page after page, every award and accomplishment displayed proudly. It made her miss her family, the love that a mother could bring to her life.

She got a little emotional, trying to nonchalantly wipe the tear off her cheek as she watched Diana flip a page.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Y/N laughed, “yeah I just miss my mom.” She scrunched her nose so that the tears stayed in, waving her hand in front of her face as she tried to blink the tears back.

“Where is she?” An innocent question opening the floodgates.

“She had cancer,” Y/N cried softly. Not noticing as Emily and Penelope left the room. Giving them a space to bond.

“She died when I was 26,” she explained.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Diana placed her hand on Y/N’s back as she rubbed her softly. “Do you have any other family?”

“My moms are gay, well. After my mom died I stopped talking to her wife, yes she raised me but she hurt my mom too much for me to love her like a parent,” Y/N unloaded her trauma onto Diana, it must be genetic to find comfort in the Reids.

“Spencer never had a father either,” Diana related to her. “After William left it was just us, and Spencer stepped up to being the man of the house. He’s always been thrown into situations where he has no control but he needs to make the decisions. You’re probably the best person he could be with, he doesn’t have to take care of you.”

“Cause I baby him,” she laughed as she wiped stray tears off her cheeks. “He’s pretty wonderful, you did a fantastic job. Both of you did, look at the love you have. This is a perfect family.”

She gestured to the book of photos, seeing the love beaming off Diana’s face as she held a 12-year-old Spencer in her arms. Braces, on his face, thick glasses, long hair. He was adorable.

“You’re welcome to join,” Diana offered softly. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked softly.

“Why have more when you can stop at perfection,” she smiled, the same wonderful smile Spencer had.

“That he is,” she agreed. “Thank you for him.”

“Thank you, I mean it when I say you saved him,” Diana’s serious look making Y/N cry again.

“I know,” she cried. “And I’d do it again.”

In a heartbeat.

—

Rossi had 3 rooms ready for use in his guest house. Only 2 were ever used during their stay. They spent a few nights recovering together, helping Diana into a new routine for a few days while trying to just spend as much time as possible together out in the real world.

Rossi’s property was huge, never-ending even. He had lake access, ponds with ducks, fields and fields of long grass topped with flowers. It was like a dream getting to explore it together.

Happiness hit her like a freight train, smacking her in the chest and knocking the wind out of her.

She blinked and suddenly she had been waking up in Spencer’s arms for a week straight. Going on adventures together, waiting for him with a coffee outside his NA meetings, holding him all night long.

He had a hard time adjusting to a real bed again, it was too soft. He spent most of his time with his head on Y/N's chest, letting her rub his back slowly as she kissed his head, helping him drift off to sleep every single night. Causing her to fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Every day beside him was a blessing, no longer was he a dog trapped in a cage. He was free, running with her through the fields like wild horses.

She woke up with him still snuggled into her, arm around her waist, legs tangled together, his face right in the crook of her neck. His hot breath on her skin being the thing that finally woke her up.

Absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair, eyes still closed as she woke up. Snuggling her cheek against the top of his head, causing him to pull her in tighter. Both of them slowly coming alive again.

“I love you,” her voice coarse from sleeping with her mouth open, dry as she licked her lips. It was the only thought that came to her mind. Not even realizing it was the first time she’s said it to him.

Spencer kissed her neck softly, “I love you.”

She couldn’t believe the happiness she was feeling, almost positive that even in her saddest moments she still loved him just this much. He was everything, even under all the scares and trauma, he was the most wonderful person in her whole world. And she was beyond blessed to be holding him in her arms.

The sun was barely up yet, having fallen asleep around 10 pm last night, they were up way earlier than they expected. It was so nice, the deep orange light of the morning sun creeping through the window behind the bed.

“Do you want to go watch the sun come up?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” he nodded softly. Sitting up with her to get ready.

They put on track pants and sweaters and shoes, grabbing a few blankets and heading outside. A few minutes of walking behind Rossi’s house led them towards a beautiful little pond, they laid out 2 blankets over the dew-soaked grass before cuddling on top of it.

The birds were performing for them, the clouds were cleaning into the most beautiful morning blue sky she had ever seen. She couldn’t help herself from holding him tighter against the blanket.

The sun shined on the water, casting beautiful pinks and oranges across the surface as it stretched into the sky. A few ducks followed their mommas in the May morning breeze, quacking in agreement as they swam across the pond. Playing a game of following the leader.

It was a dream, she was sure of it. It was all too perfect to be real.

Including Spencer, he laid there softly underneath her, holding her against his chest as she appreciated the world around them. His attention only on her, even after being locked up for 3 months. He would always choose her.

“I’m so happy,” she said softly. “You make me so happy.”

He kissed her on the forehead, pushing her back against the blanket so he could kiss her whole face as she laid there. Smiling as she held his sides, letting him smother her in affection.

When he finally stops kissing her, he brushes her hair behind her ear. Cupping her face with one hand as he looks at her. The sun casting a vibrant glow on the both of them as they appreciated each other for a moment.

“I don’t know how I made it so long without you,” he finally speaks. “But I never want to do it again.”

“Move in with me?” She replied without a second thought. “I need to find a place here anyway, and I doubt you want to go back to your apartment.”

“I already asked Derek for the place he was fixing on Wilmont, it’s close to the sanatarium, mom wants to be social again,” he filled her in on his plans. “We just have to sign the lease.”

“We?” She teased him.

“I love you,” he reminded her.

“Good,” she smiled as she pulled him into another kiss. “Because I love you, too.”

Spending time with Spencer was intimacy in its purest form. It was a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual love. It was the first time in her life she felt truly in love, not mesmerized by the idea of it.

She trusted him when he said that he loved her. She believed him when held her when he talked to her about his day or the most random things his mind could conjure. When he’d just hold her, enjoying her presence without wanting anything more than just her.

Chapter 9

They arrived in Vermont early on a Saturday morning, heading to her apartment to pack everything up. It was just the two of them this time, flying in together, half asleep at the break of dawn.

Only bringing 1 bag with her essentials for the next 2 days, hoping to pack her whole life into a truck and pray it arrived in Virginia okay.

And she got to show Spencer her space. A personal side of her that he had no idea about. He knew her mind, her feelings, her trauma, but he didn’t know what her personality was really like outside of loving him.

He was surprised by the amount of stuff she had. Wandering around her apartment quietly as she started taping boxes into shape.

Rented white walls enclosed the space when she moved in, not being able to paint them or anything felt wrong to her. So she covered them in photos, artwork and posters. Bringing the space to life with a touch of colour.

Mostly neons, having an affinity for green and purple accent pieces. Not a single shade of blue to be found, getting enough of that at work over the years.

She had plants everywhere, an old record player and a million different albums spread across the living room. Her bedroom was a mess, the closet was even worse. The kitchen would be easy to pack, it was the stuff on the walls she was worried about.

“I’m probably not getting my deposit back,” she laughed as she started taking the paintings down.

“I didn’t know you went to Harvard?” He points at her medical degree on the wall as she takes it down.

“Yeah, let me guess you’re a Yale guy?” She teased him.

He scoffed, nudging her arm lightly. “CalTech and MIT actually, Yale was my safety school.”

“Mine too,” she smiled.

Spencer stood beside her and watched for a minute, “what should I do?”

“Pick an area and pack the way you would if this was your place, I trust you won't break anything.”

“Okay,” he nodded, beginning stacking all her books on the kitchen table.

They worked well together, they knew that already. She put on music, they moved around each other freely. Occasionally singing the words and dancing around to the good ones. It was a lovely day to just open the windows and clean.

Hours passed, pizzas had been ordered and destroyed, boxes filled every corner of the space as her personality was completely ripped from the room. Soon it was just them, a couch and the record player.

She got up and walked into the bedroom to change, feeling sticky and gross from the day. Not expecting Spencer to follow and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Who knew packing boxes for 7 hours would make you so sweaty,” she jokes as she peels the shirt off her back. Standing in front of him in just her sports bra.

He turns away from her, making her laugh slightly. “Spencer, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He asks as he turns back to look at her.

She nods softly, “do you want to shower with me?”

He’s speechless for a moment, staring at her with an open mouth, “yeah, yes sure.”

She can't help herself from laughing, taking his hand and pulling him into her tiny bathroom. She makes sure they both have a few towels, seeing him awkwardly stand by the door like he’s not allowed to move.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she reminded him. “Go as slow as you want.”

“I want to join you, but just to clean,” he made his decision.

“Alright, I have 3 different shampoos you can choose from,” she smiled, opening her cupboard and letting him pick. He smiled, appreciating how easily she made it a strictly business situation.

She took off her pants, watching him get undressed out of the corner of her eye. They had been much more intimate with each other already, getting naked in front of him shouldn’t have been as nerve-racking as it was.

She turned on the water, making sure it was the right temperature with her foot. She took a deep breath and just took the sports bra off, freeing her boobs after a long day felt amazing, replacing the fear of Spencer seeing her for the first time. She dropped her underwear to the floor and stepped into the shower, waiting for him to do the same.

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, naked. She didn’t know how to act, just laughing and smiling at him. He did the same, it felt kinda crazy that they were standing in a shower, butt naked as the water pooled at their feet.

“You have to pull the thingy up,” she pointed at the bottom of the shower behind him. “It might be cold when it hits you, here pull it up and hide in the corner, like I do.”

He followed her instructions, pulling the small silver plug up to redirect the water from the tub faucet to the shower head. Cowering into the corner with her, their chests pressed together as the cold water hit his back, making him gasp as she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him, leaning against the shower wall as she held him against her, “hi,” she whispered through her smile.

He kissed her quickly before backing up under the stream. She watched the water cover his hair, making it darker as it spread through the long locks. She watched it drip down his body softly, her eyes travelling down as it did.

He had a scar on his neck and all the bruising on his chest was long gone. His skin was so pretty, he only had a small amount of chest hair, but it was the collection of freckles all over capturing her gaze the most. She reached out and rested her hand on his chest, seeing his eyes open as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Sorry,” she pulled her hand back.

“It’s okay,” he laughed slightly. “Here,” he reached behind her for the bar of soap, “if you want to touch me while I wash my hair?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. Reaching for the loofa on the tap behind him, standing directly in his space as she did so.

They switched sides, slowly turning so he would be out of the spray of the shower head. He put shampoo in his hands and rubbed it through his hair while she watched quietly for a moment.

She rubbed the bar of soap against the fabric of the loofa, watching it foam up and fill the small space with a soft cucumber scent. Running it over his chest softly as he massaged his scalp. She was so soft with him, mesmerized by how lucky she was.

He was beautiful and soft. He wasn’t big and buff like Derek, he was just a normal man with a love for chocolate donuts and jello. She ran the loofa over his tummy as she smiled, loving everything about him.

Loving every part actually while trying to avoid both eye and physical contact with specific sections of him. Not knowing if he was okay, wanting to respect his space, and appreciating that he was doing the same with her.

He laughed when she ran it along his side, ticking his armpit as he tried to wash his hair, soap dripping down onto his eyebrow. She reached up and wiped it off his face so it wouldn’t go in his eye.

“Thanks,” he smiled.

“Switch?” She said as she guided him back under the water, his eyes still closed from the fear of getting soap in them. Scrunching his face up in the cutest way.

The water cascaded over his body, washing the soap down him as she watched, her hair not even close to being wet enough to wash yet. She just wanted to watch the show, to look at all of him and appreciate the moment.

He opened his eyes once all the soap was gone, his hair longer than ever as it laid flat behind his ears, he looked so funny without a big curly mop of hair on his head, remembering he said it used to be like this at one point.

“Your turn?” He offered, taking the loofa from her and reapplying the soap to it. “Can I?”

“Of course,” she answered as he slowly ran the material over her.

He was so gentle, she watched his face as he washed over her. Biting his bottom lip in concentration as he covered her chest, arms and stomach, “um,” he tried to speak, she knew what he wanted.

She took the loofa from him and replaced it with a bar of soap, “rub it in your hands for a sec, and then use them it’s easier.”

He did just that, lathering up his hands before he placed them directly on her breasts. She let out a sigh, bordering on a moan, as he held them in his hands, massaging the soap in carefully. Thumbs rubbing over her nipples as he made sure to not miss a spot.

She was in heaven, tossing her head back against the shower wall as he ran his hands over her more. Exploring her as she leaned against the wall.

Down her stomach, past her belly button, washing her hips before dropping to his knees. Using the bar of soap once more to wash over her legs as she stared at him, amazed by the bravery he was showing.

The water getting in his eyes down there, he stood and pushed his hair back out of his face as the water dropped to the floor, “turn around?” He asked softly.

“Yeah,” she replied, turning to face the wall.

He ran his soapy hands all over her back, over her shoulders and arms. Paying special attention to her butt, which made her laugh, she was only a little ticklish there.

She was covered head to toe in bubbles, Spencer looked at her with a big grin on his face as he noticed his job was done. Helping her under the water to wash all the soap off.

She lifted her arms to run the water through her hair, feeling her boobs perk up as she did so. Spencer's attention being completely switched to her chest as he watched. “Pass me the gold shampoo bottle?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, grabbing it from behind himself and handing it back to her.

She stepped into his space, pouring the soap into her hand and rubbing it in. “They say if you lather it up it’ll apply easier,” she explained her little life hack as she rubbed her hands together.

Finally running her hands back through her hair in Spencer’s personal bubble. Her boobs pressing against his chest once again. He was breathing heavier as she watched him, hoping soap didn’t make its way into her eye and ruin the moment.

When she finally stepped back to wash the soap out of her hair, Spencer followed, pressing them together once more. Holding her by the waist as she continued to get the soap out.

Once the water ran clean, she rested her hands on Spencer's shoulders. Staring at him as the water ran down her back, his eyelashes covered in water droplets as he stared into her eyes.

He was beautiful like this, just himself.

“Are we ever going to be like a real couple?” He asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

He ran his wet hands over his back as he thought about it for a moment, “I would like to be with you, more than this, but-”

“You mean sex?” She smiled softly, trying her best to not tease him. It was a serious moment, but she loved him too much to see him struggle.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’ll react,” he admitted.

“Honey,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against his softly. “Sex doesn’t make us a real couple, first of all. And second, we have all the time in the world, so you take it as slow as you want. We can start little by little, I don’t mind waiting.”

“How do you mean?”

She smirked at him, “have you ever masturbated in the same room as someone else?”

He swallowed sharply, shaking his head softly, “no, have you?”

“No,” she whispered. “But it’s a small step. You can sit beside me, we touch ourselves, nothing overlaps unless you want it to. Ease into it. It would be another easy way to be comfortable with your body around me.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

She reached behind herself to turn the water off, tapping the silver plug with her foot to release the pressure, and stepping out of the shower finally.

—

They dried off, getting into their pj’s before laying on the couch in her empty living room. Listening to the Hozier album that was already sitting on the player and cuddling while their hair dried. Just enjoying each other's company, he was so soft and he smelled amazing, it was so nice to have him in her space.

“Did you still want to?” Spencer cut into the moment.

It made her smile against him, lifting her head off his chest as she went to stand up. “Come on,” she took his hand, helping him to his feet.

She pulled him in close, kissing his lips softly. Only planning to kiss him once, being drawn into his mouth as his hands wrapped around her back.

She held him in return, slowly making her way into the bedroom as they stayed connected, laughing as her back smacked the door frame and then at the way he fell into her bed with her on top.

Her music softly travelled in from the living area, they kept the lights off as they stripped out of their pants and got under the covers.

“How did you want to start?” She asked, turning to face him as she laid against the pillow.

“Can we just kiss for a while?”

“Absolutely,” she smiled, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning in.

She was laying slightly on top of him, holding his face in her hands as she kissed him. His tongue was soft, swirling with hers as they made out softly. He was very handsy, wanting to touch every single part of her once again like he didn’t get enough in the shower.

She spread her leg between his, sitting on his thigh as she rubbed against him. He bit her lip, squeezing her skin at the feeling. “I think I can do it,” he said softly.

“No,” she whispered, kissing his neck before getting off him. “I don’t want to hear I think. It’s a yes or it’s a no.”

“Okay,” he managed to bring reason back into his horny brain.

He took his shirt off, only in boxers beside her, tenting in them slightly. She took off her shirt as well, laying back against the pillow. He watched her breasts the whole time, licking his lips as he leaned on his side.

She ran a hand over her side, cupping her breast and tossing her head into the pillow more. “I’m starting without you,” she teased, her other hand slipping under the band of her underwear.

He laid on his back, bending his knees as he slipped his boxers off, she looked over at him with careful eyes. Genuinely curious about how beautiful he would look rock hard and begging for it.

She didn’t move her hand, just resting it under her underwear to entice him to start. She watched as he stroked himself softly, returning his attention to her smiling face.

She pushed her shirt and underwear off as well, scooting in closer to him so she was pressed against his side. Bending one knee so she could ghost her fingers over the folds as he watched her.

“I want to touch you,” he rushed the words out.

“Okay.”

He reached his left hand over, resting it on her hip before resting his hand on top of hers. She slipped it out from under his grasp, guiding his fingers to her clit as she stretched her legs further apart.

“Yeah, like that,” she encouraged him.

“W-would you?”

“Finish the sentence,” she instructed him. “Tell me exactly what you want.”

“Stroke me, I want it. Yes.”

She wrapped her fist around him, feeling his fingers swoop down to see how wet she was. “Oh,” she jerked her hips against his side, not expecting him to loop the wetness back up and rub her clit again.

He groaned as she stroked him faster, both of them staring at their own handiwork. She was fascinated with how big he was, being able to stroke up and down him so gracefully it was like she was always meant to. She licked her lips as she saw the pearl of precum drip out. Gathering it up with her thumb as she slid back down his length.

He was panting, trying to hold himself back as she kept jerking him off. Lightly touching her clit as all his attention focused on not cuming so soon.

“It’s okay honey,” she whispered in his ear.

Straddling his thigh then. His hand resting on her clit still as she ground down on him. “Is this okay?” She asked.

He nodded, “yes,” biting his lip so he didn’t explode right then and there.

He felt amazing on her, every time her hips ground down her clit rested right between his fingers perfectly to gain the perfect amount of friction back and forth.

She let herself go, bucking her hips and moaning as she stroked him with one hand. Resting the other behind her neck so he could look at her boobs perk up again, sending him so close to the edge he almost jumped out of his skin.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “C-an I?”

“Cum baby,” she gasped. Following her own instruction as she watched the cum burst from him, shooting up over her fist as she stroked him through it. Grinding against him as she whimpered, “fuck, I love you,” leaving her mouth.

Letting go of his dick as he started to whine, she dropped down against him with her face nestled into his neck.

She kissed him, over and over again. Peppering them against his skin for the best orgasm she has ever had.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his skin as he came down from the high. His chest heaving as he tried to calm down, only picking up again when she heard the sob.

“Shhh,” she whispered against his skin, letting him hold her tighter against him as he cried. “I love you, honey, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”

She felt the tears welling in her own eyes, overwhelmed with her feelings for him. “I love you so much Spencer,” she cried against his skin, the tears dripping down his neck slowly.

His hands ran over her back, they held each other while they cried.

Everything from the last week finally catching up with them both. They hadn’t taken a moment to talk about any of it, the fact he was even in prison or what happened after. They just moved on, pretending it was fine now.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered finally.

“Me too,” he pressed his hand onto her cheek, freeing her from his neck as she sat up a little.

Both of them still gross from the sex, pressing sweaty foreheads together as they took a moment. “I’m so sorry,” she emphasized, “are you okay?”

“I’m wonderful,” he laughed at the absurdity. “I’m crying because I love you so much.”

“Really?” She laughed too.

He nodded softly. Kissing her nose as she pulled back to look at him better. “I want to touch you but,” she laughed at the mess on her hand and where she rested it on his chest. “Can we pause for one sec?” She couldn’t stop smiling.

The two of them continuing to laugh at the situation as they cleaned up in the bathroom, laughing even harder as she sat to pee like they had been married for a million years already, laughing the hardest when it came out in dribbles from all the laughing.

Going through every emotion in the book as they coped with the insanity together.

Once they were clean they crawled back into bed. Resuming almost the same position as she sat down on his lap, holding his face in her hands like she wanted to. Rubbing her thumbs on his cheeks as he pulled her in closer by her hips.

“Tell me what you’re feeling?” She whispered.

“I’m happy, you saved my life and I can’t believe I get to do this with you,” he explained softly, moving his hands on her back. He talked with his hands, not able to say anything without them moving.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever known, Spencer,” she reassured him.

“Why?” He asked softly. “not in a pity party sense, I just want to know how you feel. You haven’t really told me, I’ve been waiting for you to open up, I thought maybe you were just like that because it was your job, but I want to know you more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she bumped their noses together. “I don’t normally talk to people, even with Derek I’m really closed off. But I do trust you, and I want to, I just wanted to experience you when you’re free. I wanted to see if this overwhelming ache in my heart would dissipate as I was allowed to love you.”

She didn’t want to cry again. Blinking so the tears rolled back behind her eyes, licking her lips as her head tilted slightly. She just stared at his honey eyes, glossy and blown out. So absolutely beautiful.

“It got worse,” she laughed slightly. “I realized that now that you’re free you don’t have to see me every day, luckily you want to. But, now I think about losing you instead of keeping you safe.”

“Never,” he shook his head, face still cupped in her hands. “I’m never leaving you, you’re going to need a restraining order if you want to break up.”

She laughed, pushing the tears out, finally. Spencer kissed her cheeks, wiping the tears away with his lips. “Okay,” her voice broke as she tried not to cry anymore.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered. “You’re brave and kind, incredibly smart. You’re willing to do whatever it takes for the ones you love, you’re the only person I want to talk to every day.”

“I was going to say that about you,” she pressed their lips together finally, pushing him back against the headboard.

She laid her head on his shoulder, cuddling into him as she sat in his lap, “I have never loved anyone like this.”

“Me either,” he admitted as he pressed his cheek to her head. “Not even with Maeve, or Derek I know he told you.”

“And your mom,” she smiled. “She actually welcomed me to the family, said she always wanted a daughter. It’s nice to have a mom again.”

That broke him, he finally dropped the tuff boyfriend act he was putting up to hear her feelings, crying at his mother and the love of his life being close. She could tell he was a mamma’s boy, they had a bond Y/N wished she could have with someone. The closest she had to a Diana was Derek, as funny as that was.

She let him cry, not prying into it at all. Letting him take control of his emotions and the conversation. She ran her hands up and down his arm, soothing him softly as he held on to her.

“I was so scared,” is all Spencer says.

“I can imagine.”

“No, I mean about my mom,” he corrects her softly. “I thought the second she got her diagnosis that I ruined everything for her. She was going to forget me before I could even find a person to marry, let alone give her grandkids.

‘She was going to forget me,’ echoed in her mind as she wrapped her head around what he was saying. He was more terrified of losing his mother and missing time with her than he was about being in prison. He really put every ounce of his love into his family, it was beautiful.

“I applied to work at the sanatarium,” is how she answers. “They needed a GP and I need a job. This way I can see her every day, and you can go to work or teach or do whatever and know she’ll be okay. And old people seem nicer than cops and criminals.”

“I love you.”

She laughs, kissing his neck softly. “She’ll be okay, we’ll get her taken care of and who knows, maybe we’ll have more answers before a grandkid rolls around.”

It’s a risk, joking about having kids with him already. But she was ready for a life sentence with him, willing to stay in that god-awful prison as long as he was there. Including if he lost his case.

“You’re too good to me.”

“I try,” she smiled. “You’re pretty fantastic yourself, I didn’t just fall in love with your pretty face, sure you’re helpful and do what I say. But I love you because of what’s in here,” she ran her hand over his chest.

He just held her, silence encapsulating the room finally. The record stopped playing in the living room, no one was on the street at this time of night, the world stopped as she laid in his arms.

The Sunday morning sun was going to start coming up as she stayed up in his lap, both of them settling more against the pillow. She had no plans to get off him, he had no plans to separate from her loving embrace.

a/n: still working on an epilogue idk when it'll be done

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