#--because he's the only ID anyone cared about him getting ... when he has so many other great IDs)

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss it Better Pt:3

Curly x Reader

AN: I am just speechless. All this support is making me tear up. Like holy shit. Thank you. Don’t worry! When this finishes(god idk how it will I’m making up as I go since yall want more chapters) I’ll make sure to post it to AO3 for easier access! Just thank you again! And uh. Don’t forget I have a Kofi and Wishlist if you wanna like tip or something. NO PRESSURE! Just a reminder to anyone who WANTS and CAN! You come first! Just. Thank you again!

SUM: You couldn’t sleep, so you try and remember things with Curly to lull you to sleep. As you do, you remember things that are important for a captain to have. Very important, and you are gonna be certain to find them

Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, mentions of abortion (it’s a rather calm chapter really. Take it as a pallet cleanser because the next chapter imma really show you how fucked up Jimmy is))

You just couldn’t sleep. It felt criminal to right now. So much was going through your head. So much has happened and now you had time to let it all soak in. The crash, Anya, why there was a crash, Curly’s condition, it made sleep impossible. Especially alone in that big bed that was meant for you and your husband.

You tried to take in deep breaths, and just let the thoughts wash over you. There was responsibility as the Captains Spouse. You weren’t just ‘eye candy’ like Jimmy said. You had worth, and were just as much important to the team as everyone else.

Such as learning a thing or two about what Captain should do in case of an emergency.

Curly was in no state to help, and Jimmy sure as fuck won’t help either. He was the reason everyone crashed after all. He’s a loose cannon and you needed to tip toe around him. Who knows what he might do next. You weren’t even sure if telling Swansea and Daisuke about what’s going on was smart.

Swansea has little girls of his own after all. He won’t react well at all. Then there’s Daisuke. Barely nineteen and thrown into this mess. He might panic or maybe even do something crazy like confront Jimmy. There was just to many what ifs.

So you were left on your own.

You would wrap yourself up in what was once Curly’s sleep robe and grab his spare ID card. The very thing that can unlock any door, and be the one thing that can lock your bedroom door. Definitely should have Anya sleep in here for a while. She deserves to be able to sleep soundly.

While you were waiting for everyone to sleep as well you would explore the bedroom. Looking into nook and cranny to see if there was anything of use. The Captains always were given a bunch of extra shit after all. Even Pony Express had to meet some safety protocols. Curly was their best after all. Even went as far as to try and help him fine work else where. That’s what he explained to you.

Shame. Was just a normal bedroom. The only thing that made it special was it was bigger, and had a lock. Dammit all to hell.

That’s when you tried to think back on past memories of you and your husband. To try and recall any kind of special thing the ships carry. Oh how you felt so guilty for never paying enough attention. Made you feel stupid and useless, but you weren’t.

At least not in comparison to Jimmy.

With a deep breath, you managed to recall something. Something not long before the crash even. You had knocked on the cockpit door to enter it, and was greeted to your husband and Jimmy working. Curly was rambling on about something, while Jimmy kept eyeing the locker suspiciously. As if he wanted to get inside of it for some reason.

That’s your best lead now. God dammit was it a shitty one. The cockpit was stuffed to the brim with foam. But then again that’s the front of the cockpit. If you were careful, and cut the right spot, maybe you can access the locker.

It’s something. Something is better than nothing.

With the robe tossed aside, a change into your jump suit, gloves slipped on, and beanie pulled on to keep your head safe you would make your way to the kitchen. Card key tucked securely inside of your jumpsuit compared to a pocket.

Jimmy can’t know.

Can’t know that you were stealing the only knife that the ship had.

Was going to be a pain in the ass to cut that foam but you really had nothing better to do. So, you unlocked the cock pit and focused on remembering its layout.

“For Anya, for Curly, for Swansea, for Daisuke, and all our families back home.”

You would start the slow and agonizing cutting. Little by little. Just chopping away to try and reach the right side of the pit. To get to that locker and see what was inside. That locker was in the cockpit for a reason. It can only be accessed by the pilots for a reason. There was a reason.

Any time you felt like your arms would give out you thought back to Curly. How he didn’t really have arms anymore to begin with. How Anya was busy throwing up right now. How they needed you. They both needed you.

It had been well over a hour, but you managed to reach the locker. You allowed yourself a breather at the sight of it. Damn was that a pain, but it’ll be worth it. Right?

With your breather over you would use the key card to access the locker. Inside was….Honestly junk. That had you very disappointed. You were honestly ready to cry out of frustration, only to see there were a few locked cabinets inside.

Ones that needed codes.

Codes you knew.

Curly made you memorize them in case of an emergency. He just said to memorize them. That it’s meant to just unlock pin pads. That Pony Express never bothered to change them.

You went to the lower locker and typed it in.

Strange, there was nothing inside. Suppose whatever was inside was taken out. You wondered what could have been in there. Was a very small locker so maybe it was some code scanner or universal unlocking device. Just wasn’t big enough for something you hoped for.

A transmitter.

He prayed it was near the front of the ship. That a transmitter would stuck in the heart of the foam, or as far as just shatter on contact. They had to have a spare communicator. Pony Express had to follow SOME rules after all. Imagine the ship being discovered and the people who found it saw it was missing something as important as that.

So you typed in the code for the larger locker. You were kinda afraid of opening it. To be met with another empty void of metal and dust.

You took a deep breath, and opened.

There really was a god.

There was what you were looking for. A real deal communicator. It was real, it looked untouched and even had dust on it to show that Jimmy never reached it.

Before you grabbed it you made sure to close the door behind you. Just to be sure. Was the dead of night, well from what the clocks say, and everyone should be asleep. Even Jimmy had to sleep. You had to make you move now.

Remain calm, and focus.

You can’t fuck this up.

You snuggled yourself into the corner of the pit, with the communication device in your lap. You hooked the head phones onto your head, and turned it on.

As you waited for it to boot up you made sure you were positioned so that if anyone came through the door, for some reason, you’ll notice. As far as anyone was aware though this room was basically a wall. No purpose to enter. You should be safe, but you had to think ahead. Jimmy was unpredictable, and so full of himself.

Better to be over prepared than see what happens if Jimmy finds out what you are doing.

Couldn’t help but give a squeak of surprise when someone finally spoke to you.

“This is the Emergency Spaceship Retrieval Sector. What seems to be the problem?”

A woman, through the static, spoke to you. Tears of relief fell down your face but you forced yourself to remain focused. You can’t mess this up now. No way no how.

“This is Tulpar for Pony Express. We have suffered a crash about a month ago. From what I can recall we had been a little over four months into our twelve month journey-“ You immediately explained, as to best help them get an estimation on how far the ship had traveled.

“Alright, who may I be speaking to at this moment?”

Deep breaths.

“I am the Spouse to Captain Curly. It is me, Jimmy the co-pilot, Anya the nurse, Swansea the mechanic, and Daisuke our intern.” Deep breaths, keep things quick and to the point.

“Are you all in any immediate danger?”

You had to think about that a moment. Jimmy is a dangerous man. Who knows what he might do next if you don’t play along. So, you had to be honest. You felt guilty for telling the operator what happened. That Curly suffered greatly and needed immediate medical attention, how Anya was a victim of assault and required an abortion as soon as possible, and that the reason for it all was because of Jimmy. He crashed the ship, he raped Anya, he destroyed Curly, and god knows what he will do next.

“Estimated arrival time will be about a month. We have your exact location thanks to the communicator. Remain calm, and know that help is on the way. We have logged this down in the report. Take care of your crew the best you can, Captain.”

And she would log off. You would let your head thump back, and simply cried. Cried in pure relief and joy. That a real person heard you, and was aware of what’s going on. That if anything did go wrong that at least someone knows. Someone will know what happened.

There was hope.

Now was a matter of survival.

One month.

You all needed to survive one month.

One Month Until Rescue…

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Tag List

@dinkyzoop @danart501 @spudfromspace @niyamamiya

[visenyaism]

jaehaerys administration dashboard simulator

🫧maidenpooled Follow

listen i know all kingsguard are bastards but jonquil darke put a cigarette out on me. i think i huave shivers

♟️redwhine

ok bootlicker. you know what she did

🫧maidenpooled Follow

boots not the only thing id lick

🌸queencrowned Follow

this could literally be me and my brother if it weren't for my bitch mom trying to send me to the other side of the fucking continent

🍒saerious

GIRL STAND UP

🤎bowlofbrown

doctrine of exceptionalism meatriders when someone asks them why 75% of dragonstone is blonde and me and half of flea bottom have gleaming amethyst eyes and/or beautiful delicate cheekbones

🥀maegorwife Follow

that's different...targaryens are literally divinely ordained by the seven to rule because they're stronger and better than us...that's why they have the dragons it is in their sanctified valyrian blood

🩸knifeinthedark

SO TRUE...THEY WANT TO ABOLISH THE RIGHT TO FIRST NIGHT BECAUSE OF WOKE. AND YET THEY STILL DO IT. BUT NO ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING ANYMORE OR THOSE GENDER-NEUTRAL DRAGONS WILL BURN YOUR KEEP DOWN

🤎bowlofbrown

cannot stand this fucking website. spending my last silver stag on tyroshi blue hair dye im not going to be associated with you people.

🍒saerious

oh so when maegor has seven wives he’s “aegon’s true son” and “cool” but when i have three boyfriends suddenly im a “whore”

🫀lustywench Follow

op i support you but they did call him “the cruel” for that it was a very important part of the story that he was in fact maegor “the cruel”

🌟sevenpointedstar

🌗maidensgrace

doing all of this with a FAITH OF THE SEVEN URL...girl you better pick a hell and start hoping

#bring back the faith militant

❄️theythemderly

hey isn’t it weird that so many of the king’s children have suddenly and mysteriously died lately. under the care of the maesters. what if they’re planning something…,

🕯️glasscandled

ugh i wish🙄 speed that shit up fr

🥵ullerscorpion

likes charge reblog cast

😈themarcherrrrrr-deactivated5699

me when im in a being dead combination and my opponents are jaehaerys' whole army of childraeyn of the corn

🙌fleabottomtop

yoooooooo theyre quarrelling again.

🙌fleabottomtop

alysanne targaryen if you're reading this i could change your life just give me one chance let me hit

🙌fleabottomtop

there are gold cloaks outside of my house

⚔️errantmaid Follow

kingsguard dick is good as fuck when you don't have a motherfucker in your ear saying it violates a sacred vow made in the eyes of the king and the seven😜

⚔️errantmaid Follow

the king chopped it off and sent him to the wall i fucking hate this place can't have SHIT in king's landing

🏵️floriansjonquil

hey has anyone seen princess gael. it's been literal months and she seems to have up and disappeared with no official announcement from the palace? would be the third female relative to go missing in the king's custody after aerea and saera....

🐝beeeeeeeeeeeeesbury Follow

damn that's crazy. im sure shes fine though anyways i'm a big fan of this new road the king built theres a lot of nice new roads does anyone else like the roads

🐦‍⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow

day 18262 of not fighting the brackens. this is boring as fuckkkkk what am i supposed to do. pretend to care about the triarchy?

🐎brackennation

kill yourself

🐦‍⬛cloakedinfeathers Follow

192.158.1.38. doxxed. get your dumbfuck horse breeder knights ready because our strongest and noblest raven warriors are on the way to your nasty ass keep right now bitch

[riddlerosehearts]

thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.

like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.

and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.

and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:

[ID: Lyrics that read:

I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi

What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]

(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)

anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.

pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.

also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.

idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.

idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.

[bubblergoespop]

PORTER AUDIO THOUGHTS YIPPEEEEEJWHHS

the fact that it’s raining in the background and porter was waiting outside OH I BET HE WAS SOAKING he’s such a wet kittyyy

the way he almost choked up just saying “may i come in?” PORTER I AM GOING TO SCREAMMM it hurts

porter got straight to the point with “i’m sorry” only 2 minutes in and im glad tbh, he didn’t try to justify his aggression before he apologised and even after, he clarified that he was just giving an explanation. not an excuse. i think treasure apologised too at 4:07 because porter immediately says “no. you were right.” but i do wish we got to hear more of treasure’s side and more of an apology from them too because they also said some shitty things during that argument but!! porter’s the one who was mostly in the wrong and i’ll take what i can get. they only really said those things because porter attacked them in the first place anyway so it’s all good and lovely.

porter has. never had. anyone. in his life. who cares enough. to DIG DEEPER. AAARGHHHH?? and THAT’S the reason why he was so defensive? because no one has ever genuinely pushed in order to HELP? only to hurt? oh i’m gonna start crying

i wanna know how far apart this reconciliation is from the argument. a day? a week? a month? i so badly need a timeline update in general there’s so many things that id like to have a more narrow time frame on

i LOOOOVE that treasure was mature about this entire thing. they weren’t petty enough to refuse porter let alone make some mean comment based on things said by a hurting person. things said person clearly regrets already.

porter discussing his relationship with the clan members and saying that WILLIAM was the person he was closest to when william never even asked how porter was feeling when he’d assign him new jobs oh my heart is actually aching?? “sam is… tolerant of me” ERIK THAT IS FOUL STOP IT

i truly think that after all this, porter is going to choose to leave the solaire clan as well. OH MY GOD i really hope we get to see him grow closer to vincent and sam outside of the structure and strict roles of the house

“I am conflicted, I am torn, I am tired of balancing on the knife edge, I am… more. But not in his eyes.” every day my hatred for william solaire grows unimaginably deep

i don’t wanna see anyone saying porter didn’t care how treasure felt because he only talked about himself during the apology. porter not talking about himself was literally the entire reason they had the argument to begin with. porter apologised, and told treasure what they wanted to hear. if treasure had a voice, im sure we’d hear them telling him to just talk. to let them know what he felt. how he’s feeling. we know treasure as a caring and selfless person, i doubt they’d want to just complain to porter when they got upset because HE wouldn’t confide in THEM to begin with.

“I didn’t come into this expecting to find… connection. Care.” “I trust you. I want to be open with you.” this is like an I Love You to me i am so happy i can’t even put it into words properly

I KNOW THAT ITS ALL RESOLVED NOW BUT I WANT MOREEEE PLEASEEE ERIKKK i wanna hear what more porter wants to tell treasure and i want porter to listen when treasure tells them about themselves and how they’re doing and ARGGHHH

[kosmicdream]

decided to type up my FFAK characters sexualities/preferences.. honestly i dont know why. just felt like it. probably forgot a few characters but i tried to include as many as possible!

FFAK characters sexualities

Knife - gay. Strictly a top because he’s often sex repulsed and needs to be in as much control as possible. Also pretty HARDCORE monogamous because of his jealousy and control issues. 

Simon - bisexual, except only romantically attracted to men. He does enjoy dominant/mean women though. He’s a switch and actually leans more into being a top, but enjoys challenging tops so he is dominated. For Knife, he was very dedicated to being a submissive as part of his loyalty to him. 

Fork - closetted bisexual, he’s also a switch but is more of a service top as he is desperate for praise. 

Crimson - crimson is a genderfuck so its hard to put labels on her for anything. Generally considers themselves as a lesbian of all things but actually gets crushes quite often on men. A switch, but leans top for most scenarios. It depends on the personality. If Crimsons close with a person and deeply romantically involved, he’s usually the submissive instead. 

Dylan - bisexual and a sub/brat. Generally prefers women, but it never lasts long because shes actually way worse with women than she is with men because of her attitude. Most men aren’t worth her time, even if shes also not worth most people’s time either.. 

Aeschylus - He sees no gender. Generally a top, somehow. He’s more of a submissive in other aspects of a relationship than in the bedroom. 

Antony - gay. Bottom. However, he is basically married to a woman (Celadon) for magical tax evasion (trying to dominate the world) 

Celadon #1 - lesbian and a top. Crimson's the one exception to this for preferences since Crimson is a lot of things at once..

Celadon #2 - a top-leaning switch, not attracted to any gender in particular so probably IDs more with pansexual. 

Celadon #3/Galore - a bottom. Actually had more of a preference to men, but is more pansexual at this point in her life. Probably would only top as a service kind of way and generally very vanilla.

Evil Mother - as long as she is the top, a hole is a hole!

Good Leadman - bisexual, bottom, into muscles or very cute, androgynous people. enjoys being taken care of so he's kind of vanilla.

Locket - bisexual, but leans towards men because he has a difficult relationship with women and guilt associated with his sister. Generally a top, just because he likes teasing people. He definitely gets crushes on strangers very fast.

Key - bisexual, bratty bottom. She enjoys having a harem of boys at her disposal to order around, however.

Mirror - has no preference, in some ways is somewhat asexual. But she loves to be able to control anyone around her, so she likes to play the game of sex and WIN.

Nail - gay, but he is very lax about it cuz its like whatever.. He is generally into men that are bad for him and he finds repulsive. Strictly a top unless money is involved. (for Mop's case, anyway)

Paper - mostly a lesbian, but in the world of worms there’s a lot of genderfuckery around so that gives some wiggle room on that aspect. Generally a bottom unless the personality is right, then shes a doting top. Still deeply attached to Crimson even after all this time.

Penelope - straight, but actually leans towards being a top! She likes to be the boss of the bedroom, unless the guy is very confident then she might indulge in being a pillow princess, but usually that annoys her because they don't know what they're doing or try too hard to be like the macho guy. Rome was her first, but since their break up she's had other boyfriends or flings.. Currently in a new relationship with an older man.

Cash Leadman - pansexual and a top. If she tries bottoming its like someone giving you a thumbs up and giving you a round of applause when you finish, she doesn’t really get much out of it herself. Despite being pretty casual with sex, she pretty much friend zones everyone in the world. Simon, while also just being her friend, is probably the closest thing to a committed relationship besides her husband.

Randall - gay. A bottom? He doesnt really know yet. He’s still a virgin after all. Plus, Aeschylus just gave him a vagina...!?!?

Rome - straight. He doesnt know what tops and bottoms means even if antony has tried to explain it to him before. He’s a PROUD ally though, gay & trans rights!!!!!!

Steal - says he’s straight but.. He also is desperate for any kind of affection.. so it probably wouldn't take much convincing. he definitely has a kink for robots as well.

Rowan - bisexual and also poly. I probably could list poly for some other characters above, but this was specifically pretty important to him specifically.

Pluto - HATES women because of trauma involving dylan torturing him. Pretty much just loves his king and ducky. That's it. Top because he is STRONG and must prove his strength to everyone.

Jacket - as long as he can torture them, he doesn’t care about the gender of his victims. If they don't have a hole he'll make one.. 100% sadist (what a shocker)

Destroy - lesbian, not sure of her preferences. Work keeps her out of the dating world so she actually is a bit inexperienced, which she's a bit ashamed about..

Dr Atropa - asexual but deeply in love with Priam. It is mostly a devotion of faith rather than romance, but she is in love with him too. Their relationship is kind of ambiguously D/S coded as well. Definately the submissive in this dynamic.

Priam - has gotten bored of sex, but he used to be pansexual. Top still though, no question about it.

Dollop - NO preference and finds almost any person sexy, especially if they are very unique in some way. Very flexible with positions. LOVES horses too much which used to really be a turn off for Fork.

Helix - hasn’t had enough experience to really know his gender or his sexual preferences, he has a crush on fork however. 

King Aldebaran - when he was alive, he was deeply in love with Rowan. That was really the only person important to him, besides himself of course. He was very attracted to himself for sure.

Canary (amnesia) - Doesn’t really know his preferences or gender, and kind of doesn’t care at all about them? He has a crush on Rome and Locket, however.

King Canary (original) - he was pretty self centered, but he wished for his father’s approval and also had a sexual fixation on good leadmen. Used everyone else as a tool. 100% pillow princess, however. Wasn’t interested in doing ANY of the work. 

King Lucid - sex repulsed, actually found this frustrating as his role as a king worm - which usually causes worms around you to be sexually charged from the pheromones. His sex repulsion came from a fear of being eaten, which is also quite a worm-like activity when it comes to sex. If he had lived long enough, maybe he would have found someone he could trust- but that never happened in his lifetime.

Lauma - bisexual and a switch through and through. Actually was genderfluid, just didn’t realize it in her lifetime. Was HARDCORE poly in the way where wanting all her partners to also be poly. Always trying to advance the polycule agenda!!!!

Laima - bisexual and a top, although she enjoyed dievas taking the lead sometimes, which made her very flustered when he did. He was the only person to get that kind of reaction out of her, however.

Dievas - closetted bisexual and generally a bottom. He was always nervous about his performance, but Laima helped give him confidence. He was deeply romantic and tender to the point where it probably was nauseating for most people, but Laima adored it.

Velns - bisexual and a switch. He never got to explore his bisexuality outside of when his wife wanted to experiment “being a boy” which he thought was awesome and fun. He was pretty DTF with whatever idea she had and also liked to spoil and surprise her back. He didn’t think too much about anything beyond that. LOVES boobs.

Mouse - gay. Bottom? Very boring and basic. Although he is open to romance with the right partner even if its outside his usual preferences. He had a girlfriend once, they held hands. 

Chain - lesbian but is also like ANY HOLES A HOLE horny levels. Shes a 500 year old virgin.

Aunt K - lesbian but is pretty resigned to never having any kind of attention in that way. It doesn't bother her as much as it used to.

Mr Boot - he was straight but.. Mirror changed his mind. He is a bottom and not very romantically inclined, mostly from being so old and jaded.

Mr Apple - he only had one relationship, can you guess with who? (it was knife) That did not end well. Since then, he’s more concerned about other things. Mirror has tried to fuck him before though. 

Rembrandt - he’s kinda pan, i guess. He hasn’t had a lot of relationships in his life, but he was very attracted to Ted. 

Rock - straight? He was comfortable with himself until Rem made that complicated. Bottom

Rem - is a robot, but he was deeply gay for Rock. That didn’t work out well, however.

Slate - Slate is old and tired.. He’s like, generally straight in the way that he barely pursues anything so its safer to just assume that. He and Cuddle had some history, however. BOTTOM for sure

Cuddle - a top for sure. besides that, gender is kind of whatever for both categories. Not into serious stuff or too much romance, he has ghosted so many people who wanted more from him.

[damagedcoda6669]

Hey Lucifer, i'm sorry I am telling you this since ik you and Al are close, but that's exactly why i'm telling you this...

As you know, Al used to be in birdie drama spaces, and he still is, but just under an alt.

Remember the borderline 12 drama? Al made that happen to see how the public would react since he is planning bigger things. He wants to see how fast your "fans" will turn on you, and he wanted to see how many would defend you. He knew doing the borderline 12 thing would get you in trouble, he even was surprised with how well it went considering YOU posted it when he actually wanted to post it on his account and mention you drew it.

I know this since i'm also in birder drama servers, but I just think Al is taking it too far...

He is truly playing the long game and trying to solidify your trust within him so that those leaks that are happening cannot be traced back to him. Al has truly formed an attachment to you, but not in a good way.

That borderline 12 drama was also to test your loyalty to him and it worked since you believed that he meant no harm when all he truly did mean was to harm you. You may think Al is genuine and would never, but just try to analyze a few of his messages pertaining to birder drama.... that's all i'm going to allude to because I don't want him to know who i am. I don't want him to doxx me.

I will say, Al does share a lot of interests with you and he does find you fun to be around, but that's because he sees you as a toy instead of a person.

Just- please be careful with Al, he is betraying you behind closed doors and PLEASE don't listen to him when he says all the anon's are lying, they are just scared of him finding out because right now he is really favored in birdie drama spaces since he infiltrated you so well.

Ik you might not believe me since i said I was in birdie drama spaces and i will admit, i do talk bad about you.... However, I never leaked anything nor have I been involved in what Al has been doing. I am mainly a lurker and to gain trust in the birder servers I just regurgitate the hate everyone else has for you. I feel really guilty, which is why i'm writing you this.

Other's have spoken out in anon asks on your moraltonz account, and Al was really upset with them and tried doxxing them to get them out of the birdie servers he's in so his plans don't get foiled by them, since he knows you get paranoid easily. Al is really worried about you finding out about him, so I'm hoping you get to this ask.

You may believe it's people trying to ruin you Lucifer, but other asks that pretty much imply it's birdie haters was just a tactic used to try to get the people truly coming forward to be discreditable.

Also, read my username and think back to all the birdie drama and all the people involved. I won't say too much, but I hope you can get what I am alluding to. If not, it's ok.

TLDR;

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH AL, LUCIFER. Please.

It's disheartening what Al is doing to you, with all the leaks, with the ploys, with how he talks about you, and just with everything he is doing.

Al has not stopped interacting in birdie drama spaces, he lied to you.

I truly think Synni is your only friend, because even though she used to be in birdie spaces, I don't think she has an alt.

I'm sorry i'm telling you all of this considering how close you and Al are, I really am sorry he is doing this to you. /gen

the lengths u guys go 2 2 try 2 induce my paranoia/delusions n turn me against ppl u dont know is crazy. if this is true, if u actually cared abt me, use ur main. say it 2 my face. give me evidence. ALSO ADMITTING U SHITTALK ME AND ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN BIRDIE DRAMA SERVERS IS CRAAAZY. I AM NOT GOING 2 LISTEN 2 A WORD U SAY, U R JUST ADMITTING 2 BEING A BAD PERSON. if u feel sooooo guilty, why r u still there? if al was rlly leaking shit in these spaces, scs and evidence wouldve gotten back 2 me by now. itd have spread online and id be able 2 see artwork n images that i havent sent 2 anyone besides them. also??? stop misgendering them??? weird ass

anyway yeah, good lie, u fabricated an interesting story, but gimme some proof. gimme gimme i want those discord scs that dont exist *rubs my hands 2gether nefariously*

heh u dont know this but.. jotaro is leaking everything

[littlequackerman]

Diluc Ragnvindr x Reader- Replaced (hurt/comfort??)

You quickly found your abilities became obsolete when Lumine arrived in Mondstadt. Feeling hopeless, you run away, only to be caught by a certain red haired wine tycoon.

(A/n: Ohhhhh my god i actually finished this thing. i started it while i was having a breakdown and finished it yesterday. im actually rlly proud of it lol)

I tried to keep this one as gn as possible and i think i did good. reader has a vision and is in the Knights, id say theyre around as high in the ranks as amber if that makes sense lol.

---------------------------------------------------------

You had worked hard for years to rise to your position in the Knights of Favonius. Although you weren't as high up in the ranks as people like Kaeya or Jean, you pulled your weight and always got the job done. You wielded your weapon with confidence and always did your best to help protect the people of Mondstadt. This had taken you some time, but your efforts had clearly paid off. You were a highly respected and valued member of the Knights of Favonius.

So how come Lumine had barely been in Mondstadt for two weeks and had already risen to your level in the ranks?

No, she wasn't just at your level of hard earned respect- she had surpassed it. Everyone was talking about her. She just showed up in Mondstadt and became a knight (even though it was honorary), a process that everyone else had to work at for years before successfully completing and earning their titles.

You watched as your fellow knights and citizens of the City of Freedom grew to quickly adore her and completely forget about all of the effort you had put in.

You weren't an idiot. You had never been on her level. You weren't all powerful, and you weren't a perfect fighter. You certainly had no reason to be famous. But Lumine was the only person anyone in the Knights was talking about, praising her for deeds like defeating abyss mages and wiping out hilichurl camps, all things you had done many times in the past and hadn't received as much praise as her for accomplishing.

Then, she truly began to replace you. Jean gave tasks normally assigned to you to her, telling you to go home early for the day or go help out with busywork. Usually on the rare occasion you had nothing to do for the day, you would accompany Kaeya on missions, but of course he was busy with her as well. 

And soon, so was Diluc.

You and Diluc had been friends for several years at that point. Although he was normally serious and straightforward, this part of him would crack a little around you. In the last year or two, however, you had found yourself falling for the man.

How could you not? He was dedicated to protecting Mondstadt. He was disciplined and successful, despite all of the hardship he had endured in his late teens with his father and brother. He was caring. And not to mention absolutely gorgeous. But you had always thought he was a bit out of your league, and that he deserved someone on his level.

Like Lumine. 

You saw how close they had gotten, how his identity as the Darknight Hero was revealed to her so quickly, while it had taken years for him to tell you about that part of him- and he had only told you about it because you had caught him putting on his mask as he left the tavern one night. You thought you had come to accept that there was no way he'd love you back, but seeing them get so close stirred feelings within you you thought you had gotten rid of.

For a while, you did nothing, trying to be happy for the girl working so hard to protect the city. As every day passed of going into work and being promptly told you weren't needed, you began to feel worse and worse, growing more and more hopeless with every mention of her name.

All of your insecurities came to a climax during the final fight against Stormterror. When you realized something was going on, you rushed to the Knights of Favonius's headquarters for a briefing. When you asked Jean how you could help, clutching your weapon, declaring you could and would help fight Dvalin, she said you could just stay in Mondstadt and help make sure nothing happened to the citizens.

This was the final straw. A part of you felt selfish, knowing how important it was that the city was protected by capable fighters, but part of you was hurt. Normally you would have gone along to fight a massive threat, but this time you were simply left to hold down the fort.

And when it was all over, when Stormterror was defeated and the city was safe, Lumine was hailed as a hero. You weren't surprised at that point, she had done everything recently, of course she would defeat one of the Four Winds.

You had enough. The night after the battle, as the city was filled with a mixture of celebration and festivity at the quelled threat, and solemn rebuilding of broken homes and businesses, you took the opportunity to leave unnoticed. You wrote a note saying you were quitting the knights and not coming back into the city for a while and left it on Jean's desk. You packed up some of your belongings into a bag- just some clothes, rations, and first aid supplies- and left the city.

You spent a while wandering the continent, venturing into Liyue, seeing pieces of nature you hadn't expected to see so soon in your life and fighting enemies tougher than ones you had fought before. After a while, you decided to wander closer to Mondstadt for a little bit, never going close to the city itself and avoiding the knights whenever you heard they would be near.  You continued to fulfill your oath of protecting people, defeating enemy after enemy that threatened innocents. You fought regisvines, mercenaries and treasure hoarders, and even a hypostasis and emerged victorious from each fight, albeit with some relatively minor injuries. Perhaps some sad part of you still wanted to prove yourself. You grew exponentially during this time, and you didn't even know how long you had been gone- was it one month? Two? It didn't matter. It seemed doubtful that anyone had even noticed you were gone.

You were wandering through the woods a little ways away from Springvale one night when you heard two children crying out for help. Running to the source of the sound, you discovered two children being targeted by two abyss mages and some hilichurls. You saw one of the abyss mages charging a blast of fire to shoot at the kids, and without thinking, you placed yourself in front of the children, taking most of the blast. You charged at the monsters, quickly taking out the hilichurls with a few hits and moving on to the mages. As you told the children to run back into Springvale, a figure appeared behind you. A male voice that sounded fairly familiar called out to you. 

"Those are abyss mages! They're much more dangerous than hilichurls! You stay with the kids!"

You didn't even turn to face the figure as you responded. 

"I know what they are, I've beat way worse! I'll handle this! I'm more than capable of beating a few abyss mages!" You shouted, grunting as you defeated the first mage. A few minutes later you slayed the other one as well. You turned and rushed over to the kids, checking them for any injuries. When you looked up at the mysterious figure, you were horrified to realize you knew who it was.

It was the Darknight Hero, also known as Diluc Ragnvindr.

"Y/N! Where have you been, everyone's been worried about you! Didn't you realize disappearing like that would have everyone worried sick?!"

You felt a pang of guilt at his words. Maybe people really did miss you… but if they truly cared, they wouldn't have replaced you. They wouldn't have thrown you away, you thought.

"Listen, Dilu- I mean, Darknight Hero. I wasn't needed anymore, so I left. It doesn't matter. And anyways, that's not our priority right now. We should make sure these kids get back into Springvale safely."

He grunted. "Alright. I'll go with you into Springvale, but once we drop off these two we need to have a serious discussion about some things."

You and Diluc walked the kids back into Springvale, telling their parents about what had happened and making sure they got into their homes safely. As you two walked out of the town, it almost felt like the air itself was suffocating you. You considered just running away, but that probably wouldn't help much. He could catch up with you. 

What did he think about you now? He probably hated you for running away. He had probably completely replaced you with Lumine by now. They were probably dating.

After what felt like an eternity of walking through the woods, you and Diluc made it to the Windrise tree. As you gazed up at the tree, Diluc broke the silence.

"So where have you been all this time?" 

"I walked to Liyue. I travelled through there for a while but wanted to stop near home for a little bit. I plan on seeing the rest of Liyue, going through the Chasm, and then going to Sumeru later this month."

"Why exactly did you have to leave so suddenly? You never told me you were planning to visit Liyue. I would've said goodbye to you before you left."

As he said that, he turned his gaze towards the sky. He looked… regretful?

"I wasn't planning on it."

"So you just randomly decided to travel to another nation one night?"

"Not exactly."

He suddenly turned towards you and looked straight into your eyes. 

"So why did you leave, y/n? Did someone tell you to leave? Were you threatened? What aren't you telling me?!?"

As he spoke, he started to sound more frenzied. Although seeing his tough facade fade sometimes was nice to watch, this was scary. You started to feel guilty for leaving without telling him.

"Diluc, nobody threatened me. I left because Mondstadt and the Knights don't need me. They found someone better and I got tired of feeling useless every day." You shifted and looked towards the ground. "I've done more while traveling this last month or two than I have in so long. Since Lumine got here I haven't had an opportunity to use my weapon, but I've gotten to fight so many more things and help so many more people than I did back in Mondstadt during the Stormterror crisis. And I doubt anyone truly missed me. If they said they did, they probably just said it out of courtesy. I'm sure they'll all be fine, they have Lumine now." As you mentioned her name, you felt spite run through your veins. "She can clearly do so much more than I ever could."

You lifted your head to look at Diluc. He had a look of shock on his face, and didn't say anything for a second. Then he finally spoke.

"So you're saying you left because you were jealous of the Traveler?"

Your tone changed to something angrier, sharper.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Diluc sighed. "I'm sorry that they all made you feel that way. But rest assured, nobody meant to replace you. I'm sure they didn't realize what they were doing. You could never be replaced, y/n-"

"How could you POSSIBLY say that I could never be replaced when you replaced me too!"

You didn't even realize you were shouting at Diluc.

"What are you talking about, y/n? I could never replace you! You are a wonderful person, why would I ever want someone else in my life?"

"You did replace me, Diluc! Just like everyone else did! You completely stopped visiting me when she got here! Whenever I tried to find you, you were with her! You abandoned me for her!"

At this point, you were starting to cry as you yelled at him. "And I can't even be angry at her because you deserve someone like her! You deserve someone so much better than me! She's perfect- she's beautiful, and so strong, and has accomplished so much, and everyone loves her, and look at me! I'm never going to compare to her! It's no wonder you're in love with her…"

Although you said the last part of your rant under your breath, he still heard what you said.

"Y/n. Please. Look at me."

You looked at him.

"I am afraid I must apologize to you. I am so, so sorry for how I've treated you recently, and I'm so sorry it took all this for me to realize my mistakes. I promise you, I never meant to replace you with Lumine. The truth is, I've been busy recently with her because we've been investigating the Abyss Order. The Abyss Order manipulated Dvalin into attacking the city, and I was busy trying to get to the bottom of the situation without worrying the citizens of Mondstadt. I should've tried to make time for you, and I know sorry probably isn't enough, but I'm afraid it's all I have to give at this moment."

Suddenly, it all made sense. You should've figured he'd be trying to help with the Stormterror threat. And of course she would be able to help with that. You felt some of the jealousy fade away, but some of it still clung on to your heart, a weight waiting to be lifted.

"And another thing."

He looked away from you, glancing at the ground.

"Your notion that I am in love with Lumine is incorrect. Although I now consider her a good friend, the feelings I hold towards her and you are different. You mean much more to me than she ever has. The entire time we were out chasing after the Abyss, you were all I could think about, and when you disappeared I was terrified for you. So please trust me when I say she is not the one I love, but you are."

You were in disbelief. Did Diluc really just say he felt the same way towards you? 

"Wait, Diluc. Did you just- are you saying that you have feelings for me?"

Although his head was turned away from you, you could see a blush spread across his face. 

"Yes, that…is what I'm trying to say. I've grown to love you in the time we've spent together. I tried to ignore it for the sake of our friendship but as more and more time has passed it has become increasingly difficult to ignore. If this damages our relationship so be it. You deserve to know the truth."

Stunned, your mind went blank of a reply for a moment. You took a deep breath before replying.

"Diluc, I… I love you too. I'm so, so sorry I left without telling you, and I'm so sorry I was jealous of you and Lumine, and I'm so sorry for making you worry about me, and I love you so much, I- I-"

At this point you were crying and couldn't form a proper sentence. You looked down, hiding your head in your hands, too embarrassed to look at Diluc. He wrapped his arms around you and put one hand on the back of your head, pulling you into a warm embrace. Although he was generally standoffish, you had to admit he was a great hugger. You sobbed in his arms for a while, letting out months worth of stress. You kept babbling little "I'm sorrys" and other incoherent apologies, but he kept his arms around you the whole time, comforting you and assuring you that it was okay and he loved you. After a while you stopped crying, and at that point the sun was beginning to rise. You and Diluc stood under the great Windrise Tree and watched the sun slowly rise among the cloudscape.

"If you want to keep traveling I won't stop you, but I think you should stop by the Knight's headquarters and tell Jean and Kaeya that you're okay. They've all been worried about you."

"Yeah, you're right, I probably should. But I wanna stay with you for now…" you said as you leaned into him once again. You suddenly let out a loud yawn, realizing how tired you were from a night of fighting and crying. Diluc also noticed your sleepiness.

"Do you want to go back to the winery with me to get some sleep?"

"Yes. That would be absolutely wonderful. I'm exhausted."

"Then let's go."

You and Diluc walked back to the Dawn Winery in the light of the early morning sun, holding hands and talking about everything that had happened while you were apart. When you got back to the winery, you slept through much of the day in your lover's arms, and spent the rest of it making up for lost time, telling stories of your adventures and eating food Adelinde brought you. 

It felt like a burden had been lifted off of you, and you could finally enjoy days of peace with Diluc without standing in the shadow of another person.

Bonus:

The next day, Diluc took you to the Knights of Favonius's headquarters. Everyone was surprised, but pleased at your return. Diluc explained why you had left to your superiors, and they rushed to apologize to you.

It turned out that right after you left for Liyue, so did Lumine as she sought the Geo Archon. And with two of their best workers gone, the Knights were barely coping with rebuilding the city from Stormterror's damages. 

You could tell they were truly remorseful for how they had treated you the last few months, with even the normally aloof Kaeya looking grim as the situation was explained to him.

It also turned out that you weren't the only one fed up with their actions after Lumine's arrival. Many other knights felt like they had been cast aside after the Traveler's arrival. You were just the only one to leave.

You weren't sure if you could forgive them just yet, and you knew you wanted to travel some more before officially returning to the knights. 

But now you knew how truly important you were to your friends in the Knights, and you had a loving boyfriend to boot. Overall, things were finally starting to look up for you, and you knew that no matter how far you traveled from your homeland, you would have people waiting for you when you got home. 

Finding the one you loved had truly led to the ending you deserved.

[archivalofsins]

I get blaming Haruka's parents for everything but it is such a funny sentiment. Because the reason that they were able to get away with not having their child tested and getting the accommodations necessary for him is societal.

Yet in regards to this it appears that despite how on the surface many people purport deep discontent with oppressive systems that put the failings of the whole on a select few- Everyone is really ready to blame these two parents instead of the ableist way society is structured that instills a sense of fear in individuals parents or otherwise when it comes to the idea of possibly being different in anyway be it mentally or physically.

For as much as people have repeated over and over the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

In Haruka's parents case simply no one can understand why his parents would respond in this way. So, let's do that.

Ya know I thought fuck it. Since Haruka is technically my junior now like Mikoto and a late nineties baby. Only a year younger than Mikoto if Mikoto isn't lying about his age too. I'll say something on it.

Because honestly Milgram gift wrapped this shit for me specifically let's talk mental health care in the 90s and early 2000s.

Guess who's getting diagnosed?

Literally no one. It doesn't matter how much money your family makes or how much access they have to the resources. If they want to say no then you're not getting diagnosed. It's still like that to this day to an extent even though it's better.

Imagine this you are Haruka growing up around or in the 2000s. You are showing signs of developmental delays. Firstly who would be the first people to tell if you had an issue, how would they tell, and how early would they be able to tell that?

The first people who would be privy to something being wrong would be the parents. They would be able to tell because as Haruka's report stated he would have a noticeable developmental delay.

So what is a developmental delay?

A developmental delay is when your child is slow to reach one or more developmental milestones compared to their peers. Developmental milestones include skills such as: Smiling for the first time. Rolling over. Pulling up to stand. Waving “bye-bye.” Taking a first step. Speaking a first word such as “dada.” Children reach milestones in playing, learning, speaking, behaving and moving. They develop and reach these milestones at different rates. There’s no strict timetable. So if your child is a little behind, that doesn’t mean they have a developmental delay. A developmental delay means your child is continually behind in developing skills expected by a certain age.

A delay is when a child is behind in learning. A developmental delay is something that could lead to other things being diagnosed such as Autism or and Intellectual Disability. However, having a delay in itself does not immediately equate to having any other diagnoses. Delays are there own things and can occur whether someone has other diagnoses or not.

A developmental delay is exactly what it says on the tin a delay. These three things share a great deal of overlap individuals with autism or intellectual disabilities can have developmental delays but not all people with developmental delays end up being diagnosed with those other things.

Just as all people with those other diagnoses may not have developmental delays.

These are all three going on four separate things but we'll get to that fourth one. This is again something anyone could have taken the time to research at any point. So, I'll take this time to remind people sometimes what's more important than being viewed as the smartest in the room is being considerate towards the lived experiences of those that live with or have lived with the things one is discussing.

There's a stark difference between a cognitive disability and a developmental disability. If one were to search cognitive delay they would get information on ID (a mistake I made don't ask how I just told you).

However for the sake of being transparent this is where that led,

Cognitive Delay

Intellectual disability is a term used when a person has certain limitations in mental functioning and in skills such as communicating, taking care of him or herself, and social skills. These limitations will cause a child to learn and develop more slowly than a typical child. Children with intellectual disabilities (sometimes called cognitive disabilities or, previously, mental retardation) may take longer to learn to speak, walk, and take care of their personal needs such as dressing or eating. They are likely to have trouble learning in school. They will learn, but it will take them longer. There may be some things they cannot learn. There can be an overlap in defining developmental and cognitive disabilities. "Developmental" and "cognitive" are very broad labels, and do not particularly indicate the level of skill or ability that an individual may have. "Cognitive disabilities" generally refers to any disability affecting mental processes. Examples include: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) Dyslexia Aphasia Brain injury Language delay Learning disabilities

Since staff specified in the English translation,

From an early age, Haruka Sakurai developed more slowly compared to his peers. His overprotective parents would not accept that he developmental delays, and did not provide him with an educational environment suited to his needs. The gap in developmental achievements between him and his peers kept widening, so much so that when Haruka reached 15 years old, he could still not adequately read kanji.

A developmental delay is when your child is slow to reach one or more developmental milestones compared to their peers.

"You were always comparing me to someone else."

Uses developmental as much as is humanly possible, aligns with how developmental delays are described in general, has lyrics that predate this that align with exactly what one does to tell a developmental delay is occurring.

Given all that I'm led to be that this is not a cognitive thing.

Okay then Gunsli what about Autism and Intellectual Disability those are both a developmental disorders. Couldn't autism or intellectual disability explain or even be the cause of this developmental delay? Okay, I'm gonna walk down this bridge with all of you real quick because it's confusing, right?

These are a lot of very in depth mental health concepts that all overlap with one another. It's understandable that it would be difficult to follow. Hell, I'm even having a difficult time with it. I'm not an expert I am literally just looking stuff up on the internet. As usual I encourage anyone who is interested in these things to look up the information for theirselves and draw their own conclusions.

I'm also not saying this because I have any vested interest in whether Haruka has either of these things.

I'm saying this to highlight whatever other diagnoses Haruka may have had were so unimportant when it came to the crime he committed they weren't even disclosed. That him being neurodivergent did not in any way shape or form led him to commit murder.

So we can just throw out those excuses entirely he was never diagnosed with either of these things which is sad in it's own right but not the point of anything going on here.

He had developmental delays.

Now before we go into breaking down what that means for those two other developmental disorders.

Let's touch on what exactly developmental delays are.

Types of Developmental Delays

Developmental delays align with the areas of child development. These include: Cognitive (thinking) skills: Cognitive skills include thinking, learning and understanding information. A child with a cognitive delay may have trouble following directions or solving a problem. Social and emotional skills: These skills include getting along with others, expressing feelings and the ability to communicate needs. A child with social or emotional delays may struggle with understanding social cues, having a conversation or dealing with changes to a routine. Speech and language skills: Speech and language skills include using and understanding language. A child with speech and language delays may have difficulty speaking words or understanding what others say. Fine and gross motor skills: These skills include the ability to coordinate small (fine) and large (gross) muscles. A child with a fine motor delay may have trouble holding an object in their hands or have trouble with coloring and writing. A child with a gross motor delay may have difficulty rolling over, sitting up or walking.

As I've stated since Milgram disclosed it was a developmental delay this means that while it may still be possible that Haruka had autism or intellectual disability he was never diagnosed with either of those in his lifetime or any other developmental disorders.

In fact he more than likely had GDD. Now we're getting into something that many people may not know about. Honestly until I started researching this today I didn't know about it.

So, what's GDD?

GDD also known as Global Developmental Delay is when a child has delays in two or more of the previously listed areas.

Haruka as we know from his songs and the report had developmental delay in speech and language skills,

Weakness

"The word I tried to say was “You’re unfair”, and those words thought how pitiful I am." / "If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”."

As well as his first glitched voiceline,

"Then what should have I done instead? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!"

And timelines,

20/06/05

Haruka: Ah…… ah, u-um, Mikoto-san. The c-communication……? thing, that you were saying was important. I-I thought, I’d give it my best…… Um, so, Mikoto-san, what’s your favourite food……?

Mikoto: Ooh? Nice going, Haru-kun~ Yeah, we still have no idea how long this lifestyle will go on for, so it’s best if we all get along together here. My favourite food…… I like pasta and horse-meat sashimi. Also bubble tea, and recently I’ve been big on custard puddings. What about you?

Haruka: ……ah, I, I wonder…… H-hamburg steak, and omurice, a-and also…… what else? Ah. Cotton candy……

Mikoto: C-cotton candy!? That’s the first time I’ve met someone who has that in their top three favourites!? ……man, Haru-kun, you really are hilarious.

20/06/28

Futa: You said you don’t play any games, right? Do you not watch league or premier either?

Haruka: E-eh, I, I don’t understand, what that is…… That… uh, “leeg”?

Futa: Huh!? It’s international soccer. It’s normal for guys your age to know stuff like that. What a pain… I really have nothing to talk to you about, huh. Even though we’re around the same age. Also don’t speak to me so formally. It’s gross.

Haruka: Ah, e-excu-, I don’t, I uh… got it…… Futa… kun……

20/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……Kazui-san…… um…… Are you, happy…… on your birthday……?

Kazui: Hm? If I’m being honest, at this age I don’t really think much about birthdays any more. But…… it can be nice to have as a means to start something. Like, for a friend you haven’t seen in a long while, it’s a good excuse to suddenly start up a conversation, you know? Being able to hear from a bunch of people like that makes it fun.

Haruka: I-is that, so…… That’s… nice…… I’m, kind of… jealous. But, I’d also, want to hear from people…… e-even if, there isn’t a reason……

Kazui: Haha, but it can’t always be like that. You know, for us adults…… we always want a reason or an excuse for everything. ……hm? Wait, is today my birthday? So is that why you went out of your way to talk to me yourself for once, Haruka?

Two instances in which the timeline subtly hinted at Haruka being older than he said and the prisoners probably knowing his real age. Since he only told Es he was seventeen. Things that are funnier knowing what we know now.

Kazui: Us adults always want a reason or excuse for everything *processing noises* Wait a sec is that why you came to talk to me.

The audience awww what a nice timeline it was really weird that Kazui thought about adults wanting an excuse for everything before they act right before realizing it was his birthday and saying Haruka approached him due to that... But it's probably nothing Milgram almost five years later,

Born in 1997, in Nagaoka, Niigata.

Futa: We’re around the same age don’t speak to me so formally. It's weird...

Weird Haruka is like three years younger than him Futa is twenty and he's seventeen what the hell? Futa who is rightfully creeped out by someone older than him referring to him as though he has seniority but is just gonna tell him to stop like a normal person would instead of going hey you weirdo you're older than me. By literally three years that shit is wild. Like this has nothing to do with the communication thing the age thing just gets funnier the more you look back on it.

It's just a wealth of characterization.

That's not even touching on how his age being given explains how much the rabbit plush toy had aged between Undercover and weakness.

It's simply incredibly rewarding and fun.

Moving on from the report we know he had a developmental delay in cognitive (thinking) skills as well. Something that was also implied the report when it came to his reading skills,

Cognitive skills include thinking, learning and understanding information.

We've also had allusions to his issues with motor skills with the messy eater minigram. However in the minigrams there are some mannerisms which align with autism as well. Again not saying that he can't have either of these other developmental disorders I'm just stating that is not what the report said.

Because it's not.

The report specified he had developmental delays and I'll get to why that matters in a second. Because yes it makes his parents worse as a shocker to no one. But we'll get to that.

What are the symptoms of a developmental delay?

Symptoms of developmental delays vary depending on the type. Symptoms may include: Delays in rolling over, sitting up, crawling and walking. Trouble with fine motor skills. Problems understanding what others say. Trouble with problem-solving. Issues with social skills. Problems talking or talking late. Difficulty remembering things. Inability to connect actions with consequences.

A baby typically starts crawling between seven and twelve months. So from that we know that signs of delays can become present before a baby is even one year old. You know but people learn at different paces some people are slow starters. So parents might view this as negligible others may become hyperaware and anxious about their kid not meeting milestones at the time frame considered to be the standard.

Hell some doctors at this point may even tell parents not to worry about it's crawling. Let's be so for real there are not many people going to the hospital because that baby isn't crawling yet.

Personal anecdote I didn't cry as baby.

To the extent that both my parents at times would assume I was dead (they both told me this) and they would come in my room to check if I didn't just die. Like if I didn't accidentally turn over and suffocate to fine a completely fucking awake but dead quiet baby in a crib. They didn't take me to a hospital they went on about their lives and it was such a point of actual concern and stress that years later they're still like you were such a quiet baby so quiet in fact we thought death had came for you in the night constantly we would go check on you.

Like they make that shit sound traumatic and they still didn't take me to a doctor.

They weren't even like hey should we go to a pediatrician. Like to be honest it was scary the way they describe it has every right to be scary. Like I had terrible asthma when I was born they sent her back with a breathing machine. Like you may need this later and then on top of that the baby don't cry. Can you imagine? That's hell for a parent consequences of their actions sure but still that must have been terrifying.

Even when it advanced to damn this kid hasn't talked. They still did not take me to a doctor. They were like yeah our kid has inappropriate emotional responses to stimuli she cries at things that would make other kids her age laugh, laughs at things that should be rightfully terrifying or stressful, hasn't used any language skills and fell out of a tree and lost consciousness for a few minutes but know where we ain't going a doctor. No. A pediatrician? Fuck no. We're going to our regular family doctor down the street who will eventually have our child toss out this inhaler and say asthma just heals over time source trust me and we will move forward.

Then they'll have to get an inhaler again sometime in their twenties when their own doctor is like no asthma doesn't go away if you go out of country or out of state you may die from an asthma attack due to a change in air quality. Here's an inhaler also if you're traveling out of country maybe get a bracelet that states you have asthma.

All that to say no they weren't stressing that crawling shit but they probably noticed it. Then went as many do fairly, "Well, they'll do that when they do it." It probably wasn't until Haruka was going on a year old when they got concerned around the toddler age most likely.

Since that is around the time babies begin walking and talking. At this point the report said they would not accept he had developmental delays. This means they in fact knew. Like they were told but simply did not accept it. More than likely by a doctor but again they refused to accept that.

They denied the information a lot like how people are denying the report from Milgram but I digress...

There are numerous things that can increase the chances of a child having developmental delays.

What causes developmental delays?

Researchers don’t know the cause of many developmental delays. However, some developmental delays occur as a result of genetic factors, such as Down syndrome or fragile X syndrome. In addition, some babies and children have an increased risk of developmental delays as a result of environmental factors, including: Exposure to toxins before birth, such as alcohol, opioids or weed (marijuana). Exposure to toxins after birth, such as lead poisoning. Premature birth. Low birth weight. Not enough oxygen at birth. Poor nutrition. Health conditions such as chronic ear infections and vision issues. Severe trauma, including child abuse.

Now this is all well and good but what makes this different from all of the other developmental disorders. Well for one and this is going to be tragic for a lot of you to read. Developmental Delays can be treated with early intervention unlike Autism and Intellectual Disability developmental delays are typically not lifelong.

But early intervention is key.

This means that if Haruka's parents got him the accommodations he needed from the onset he literally would not be here.

Weakness,

"My life started in a wrong spot."

Haruka Metamorphosis of the Weak,

"Aren't I the only unfortunate person here?!"

That's the point of stating it was a developmental delay.

Developmental delay vs. autism

Developmental delay is different from developmental disabilities such as autism spectrum disorder. A developmental delay is when your child doesn’t reach their developmental milestones as expected. It usually means your child is developing certain skills slower than their peers. But with early intervention and support, they’ll typically catch up. Developmental disabilities such as autism don’t go away on their own — they’re usually lifelong conditions. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder present from early childhood. Children with autism have trouble interacting with others, forming relationships and using language. It can sometimes be difficult to determine if your child has a developmental delay or a developmental disability. Regardless, early intervention is the best way to help your child progress and thrive.

"His overprotective parents would not accept that their child had developmental delays, and did not provide with an educational environment suited to his needs. The gap in developmental achievements kept widening."

Weakness,

"If only I could do what anyone else could do."

"I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling- I was in denial, I was in denial."/ "I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim."

The one thing not really overtly explained by the report was the lines up there.

I was racking my head around it because it seemed like the report mostly aligned with what Haruka had presented. So why was he saying that he was in denial and he'd become a victim. Well that began to make a bit more sense when I took this new information into consideration along with these lines from Weakness.

Haruka was in denial his entire life. He was under the impression he couldn't do things everyone else could simply because he wasn't afforded the accommodations that would allow him to build those skills at a pace suitable to him. Even if that pace was a little slower than his peers. Because he wasn't afforded that luxury that many early diagnosed individuals are afforded he grew up under the belief that he was more incapable than he actually was.

Picture this I have two separate rooms of children. Both rooms of kids are given one simple task cut this sandwich vertically or in half whichever you prefer but cut it. But the kids in the first room have butter knives and the kids in the second room have spoons. I don't tell either batch of kids about the equipment they have to work with I just compare their results.

This is pretty similar to having to do anything with an undiagnosed mental impairment of any kind. Because Haruka was working under the belief that he had access to the same equipment as his peers and was running on that same equipment it was easy for him as many undiagnosed people do infer he was the issue. Yet the weird thing here is after his crime he would be forced to learn actually he was not the issue.

Because if what Kazui stated in his first voice drama was true and these are ten acquitted murderers then before Milgram Haruka more than likely was getting help for his behavior. Since the only way he would be acquitted is more than likely through the extenuating circumstances of his home life, as well as the fact he showed great remorse for her actions on top of no desire to offend again, and he actively turned himself in.

Since he already understood what he did was wrong and was committed to avoiding repeating the behavior when he got to Milgram. He only changed his opinion when Es and the audience rewarded him with the attention he craved for his behavior. Which validated his mindset that if he did something like that he'd get the attention he wanted.

Because well eventually it did get him attention much more than he'd ever had in his life in fact. So how could it have been wrong if Es and all these people were saying he was right and understanding his feelings of abandonment and why he did it?

Haruka Metamorphosis of the Weak

"It is. I felt uneasy about it this whole time... Someone as worthless as me having killed someone to gain attention, and a person who surely had more worth and more of a future than me, at that..." ... "But it turns out that I did nothing wrong after all! It wasn't wrong of me to kill her! There was never anything for me to worry about!" Oh...? "It felt so strange...! Warden-san, you forgave me so, so much, it felt like a whole lot of people had accepted me!"

It only makes sense for him to believe it was okay at that point even though he previously didn't and was really anxious about being hated for his previous actions. So much so that he wanted to avoid being around others entirely.

"You, everyone, if you knew me... If you knew everything that I did... I'm... I'm gonna be abandoned, that's bound to happen. Because I'm a selfish killer."

What I'm saying is this weird hole ceases to be a issue if I believe that Haruka like implied in the lyrics of Weakness confessed to his actions,

"I was wrong. Yes, it was me."

Then was shown leniency for turning himself in and was either sent to a mental health facility instead of charged to the fullest extent of the law or simply sent to a mental health facility instead of sent to prison due to the circumstances around the incident and his upbringing.

Something that would explain his clothes when he got to Milgram. As well as his stay away from me mindset. Yet this isn't some revelation it's what people thought in regards to him from the beginning actually. I'm just bringing it back up. Because it still seems the most likely knowing he was caught before and being shown him confessing multiple times.

Back to the other thing at hand the differences between GDD and Autism.

Understanding the differences and similarities between Global Developmental Delay vs Autism can be difficult and complex. There are various crossovers in terms of behaviour and developments, however Global Developmental Delay tends to present fewer barriers than Autism Spectrum Disorder. Understanding Global Developmental Delay vs. Autism To put it simply, a developmental delay is when your child does not reach their developmental milestones at the expected times, whilst Autism refers to a group of complex neurodevelopmental disorders, present from early childhood which is characterised by the difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people, and using language and abstract concepts. Global Developmental Delay is usually diagnosed in children under the age of five years old, indicating a delay in a child’s development across several broad areas, including: Language or speech Vision Movements – motor skills Social and emotional skills Thinking -cognitive skills Autism can be diagnosed in addition to Global Developmental Delay when a child has difficulty in developing social and communication skills. So, how does this impact a child? Global Developmental Delay may impact a child by limiting their ability to: Understand and retain information, Solve problems, Interpret social cues and social awareness, Respond appropriately to others, Gain personal independence and self-care skills, Navigate their environment through movement (gross and fine motor skills), Interact and play with their same aged peers.

Differences between autism and GDD

Autism and global developmental delay (GDD) are two different developmental disorders that can affect children. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder affecting a person’s ability to communicate, socialise, and interact. Individuals with autism may also have restricted and repetitive behaviour patterns, interests, or activities. The symptoms of autism typically appear in early childhood, and the severity of the disorder can vary widely. Global developmental delay, on the other hand, is a broad term used to describe a condition in which a child has significant delays in two or more areas of development, such as language, cognitive skills, social skills, or motor skills. GDD is often diagnosed in children under five and can be caused by various factors, including genetic abnormalities, brain damage, or environmental factors. The main difference between autism and GDD is that autism is a specific developmental disorder with well-defined symptoms. At the same time, GDD is a more general term to describe a range of developmental delays. Children with GDD may or may not have autism, but they may have delays in areas such as speech, motor skills, or social skills that are not characteristic of autism.

Now this should be enough to discount it being anything other than what they said in the report a developmental delay. Since the comparisons between it and autism specifically state that this is its own thing. However, I'd like to display how similar all of these things are. Simply because it highlights how intricate and complicated mental health is.

Also I don't want people to think I'm being more hard on one interpretation than the other. But honestly this is getting long as hell and it's twelve in the morning (two in the morning as I proofread). So with no fanfare let's hop into the differences between intellectual disability and GDD.

Intellectual Disability (ID) is characterised by impaired intellectual and adaptive function that starts during the developmental period (Global Research on Developmental Disabilities Collaborators, 2022). It is a lifelong condition and is among the most common neurodevelopmental disorders (Global Research on Developmental Disabilities Collaborators, 2018). Developmental Delay (DD) is a broad term that applies when one or more areas of a child’s development are delayed (Global Research on Developmental Disabilities Collaborators, 2018).

So, as those who are still reading can see Autism and Intellectual Disability share one thing in common that GDD does not they are both lifelong conditions. But let's go further,

Early Signs of Developmental Delay Versus Intellectual Disability

Recognizing early signs of developmental delay involves observing a child's progress compared to typical milestones. Children with developmental delays may have trouble with speech, motor skills, or social interactions. These signs can be subtle, requiring careful monitoring by parents and caregivers. Intellectual disability signs are more pronounced and involve broader developmental concerns. Children with intellectual disabilities may exhibit difficulties in learning new skills, following instructions, or understanding concepts appropriate for their age. These limitations are consistent and not just a temporary delay. Early detection and intervention are key in both cases. For developmental delays, early therapy can significantly improve outcomes, helping children catch up to their peers. For intellectual disabilities, early support focuses on developing practical skills and adaptive behaviors to enhance independence and quality of life. Parents and caregivers play a vital role in identifying early signs. Regular check-ups with healthcare providers and developmental screenings can help in early detection. Being proactive in seeking evaluation and intervention can make a substantial difference in a child's development.

"The gap in developmental achievements between him and his peers kept widening."

Despite all the information out there on Developmental Delays, GDD, Autism, and Intellectual Disability they are all still commonly mistaken for one another.

What is Global Developmental Delay?

Global developmental delay (GDD) refers to children aged five years or younger who experience delays in achieving two or more developmental milestones. While children with GDD are at a higher risk of developing an intellectual disability later, GDD does not always lead to an intellectual disability. Studies estimate that 1-3% of under five-year-olds [1] have GDD. However, having a GDD diagnosis does not necessarily mean a child will be diagnosed with an intellectual disability later in life.

A concern for parents that refuse to accept that their child has developmental delays is sadly ableism. Developmental Delays are not always lifelong but the existence of them can lead to the diagnosis of more stigmatized lifelong disorders. Such as the two discussed here.

There's a big chance that once Haruka turned fifteen and he continued to have issues in these areas his parents gave up on him simply because they assumed he had one of these others issues. Because of that assumption they may have deemed him a lost cause entirely and simply gave up,

The gap in developmental achievements between him and his peers kept widening, so much so that when Haruka reached 15 years old, he could still not adequately read kanji. It was around that time his parents simply gave up, and they shift from overprotectiveness to disinterest. From then forth, his parents acted as if Haruka did not exist.

Now I don't believe I need to state that this sort of behavior and mindset towards disability mental or physical is not okay. That someone is never a lost cause due to things out of their control or needing more help than others regardless of how much more they may need.

I am however going to state pretending as if Haruka's parents are the sole problem in this situation is disingenuous. The fact of the matter is many modern societies are built on inherently ableist values that at this juncture are deeply engrained in our cultures. That these environments incentivize people to ignore, hide, and attempt to teach or hope their kids grow out of their mental health issues or weaknesses.

Instead of getting them the help they may need.

Even when parents want to get that help they may not have access to it. I'm in a privileged situation because I live in a state that takes mental healthcare fairly seriously now. However when I was coming up around the same time as Haruka was it wasn't like that.

Parents had and in many places still have the right to refuse getting their children tested. Just as they have the right to not get their children vaccinated or take them to the hospital if they so choose. I mean by all means continue to go off about his parents to the moon and back of course. I just feel like that's ignoring many of the environmental factors that impacted this situation and the people within it.

I feel like it's easy to say that one understands what Haruka's parents did was wrong and that one could never fathom doing that to their kid. When simply put a lot of the people saying it may not have had kids yet or even plan to. It's easy to speak of it in the hypothetical sense. At the end of the day Haruka is not any of our kid and we did not live his parents lives.

However, I think of what it was like in the early 2000s as a kid and the stigma around mental health and mental healthcare as a whole. I think of the lucky people who were able to get diagnosed in their adolescents and those who never had access to that sort of aid. I think about how difficult it was for people either due to their ethnicity or class to even get access to testing.

I think about how despite my myriad of issues in school and the offers to test me my mother consistently refused. I think about how at the point I was going to a school with a school psychologist I was simply out of the age range they offer testing for that. So instead of being offered testing again I was put into communication counseling that had me out of class for an hour each week to work on communication skills with other students of varying ages who also had issues communicating with others.

But they didn't want to say it was that you know.

The reason it got less complicated at least where I'm from is because they literally just started testing kids. Like in every instance there was a delay they immediately just went we should implement the test. Hey we haven't implemented the test but we think it's this can we implement the test? Wait; before you answer let me explain in excruciating detail how much early intervention could help your child if it is this. Like after a point it switched from we can't make you test them for it to we can't force you to say yes but you are actively ruining your kids life if you say no and we are looking at you sideways.

Like it went from we're respecting your choice to we begrudgingly have to respect your choice but you will be judged, verbally, loudly, openly. Not by god or anything by us right now we are going to look at you so weird, we hope you feel shame, we think you're a bad parent you should feel shame. Hey have we told you how good parents would do this yet. Because a good parent would want to know in order to fill their child's needs but I see you're not a good parent.

Sometimes you just have to make it culturally weird not to do something. Sometimes you have to be like you're a weirdo for not doing that shit, you're weird for not seeking help we're readily offering and choosing to make you kid struggle. You're fucking weird Charlotte and I hope your kid disavows you when they come of age and never speaks to you again fuck you. I wake up every morning and I'm happy I'm not you someone so deeply entrenched in internalized ableism and shame you're willing to ruin the future of a life you pushed out you for what to spare yourself from your own feelings of inadequacy and guilt?

In other instances sometimes you give minorities access to the testing.

Prime example,

Instead of 1 in 44, it's now 1 in 36 8-year-old children identified with autism spectrum disorder. That’s according to an analysis published Thursday in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. This new rate does not apply to the entire United States. Researchers pulled data from the Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring Network. It’s a surveillance program in 11 communities across the US that collects data on the prevalence and characteristics of kids with ASD.  The latest data also showed that the demographics of 8-year-old children with ASD in these communities had shifted.  For instance, there was a 30% higher ASD prevalence among Asian, Black, and Hispanic children in 2020 than in 2018. And for the first time, the percentages of some ethnic groups were higher when compared to white children. White children that identified with autism was 2.4%, compared to Black children at 2.9%, Hispanic children at 3.2%, and Pacific Islander children at 3.3%. But just because these numbers are higher doesn’t mean that rates in the white communities didn't increase - they did. 8-year-old white children had a 14.6% higher ASD prevalence in 2020 than in 2018. 

Then there's this very fun fact,

According to the CDC's most recent data published March of 2023, 1 in 36 children is the U.S. is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Compare this to 2018 and it was 1 in 44 children and in 2000 it was 1 in 150 children. 

Prevalence Trends Over Time Looking at the prevalence of autism in Michigan over time, there has been a dramatic increase. Between 2000 and 2010, the prevalence of autism in Michigan increased from 0.7% to 1.9% respectively. Moreover, there has been a steady rise in autism diagnosis rates in the state over the past few years. Autism Prevalence in Michigan 2000- 0 .7% 2010- 1.9% Recent years- Steady increase

Hey guess what you're not getting if you were unlucky enough to be five or up when this boom in early diagnosis started in 2010 within the state of Michigan. If you guessed diagnosed you're fucking right. Fuck any kid that was five in the early 2000s I guess they can fucking figure it out what do you mean there was a significant increase in the prevalence in autism within minorities in 2023 gee wonder what may have caused that definitely not the fucking access to resources.

Of course not. I love it when media puts on full display the disparity between people who go their entire life undiagnosed or get diagnosed in adulthood. I absolutely love it then people who are neurotypical, anyone born after the the late nineties or privileged enough to be diagnosed during that time and had access to accommodations will be like why is this person so fucked up. All while a great deal dime a dozen the average joes-

"Next, prisoner number nine, Mikoto Kayano. Male. No unique features about him so I don't have much to comment on. He's kinda like mass-produced goods."

Who have lived completely undiagnosed for all their life will go mood that's what disparity of resources does to a bitch really and move on.

Except in this case the disparity was made by this dudes fucking parents. The resources were there they were informed of the the problem they just choose to ignore it and not get the resources. Which again is a very common thing for anyone born around Haruka's time. You think any of the people I know offline were diagnosed as children outside of people in my family born past the year 2002 and up? Absolutely fucking not.

I was diagnosed literally last year, my friend was diagnosed solely because her job got her diagnosed, and everyone else in my age range is like fuck it I know something is wrong I think it's this but like hell I have the money to find out what it is now, I'm also afraid to ask, and adult testing is basically nonexistent. Time to feel like a literal failure of a human being forever I suppose. Then they keep it moving.

I was lucky to be able to get diagnosed at all and the first time it was basically the worst most infantilizing experience of my life and the psychiatrist that tested me literally changed my diagnosis after I cut ties with her for the infantilization thing and said nah it was just an adjustment disorder. So I had to get tested again last year.

For something that's functionally useless because they only consistently give assistance to people who you guessed it were diagnosed early. I went to several therapists about this same thing one who said I spoke too well to have autism (also reiterated most testing is for children so yeah the older you are impacts one's ability to access diagnosis), the second one who just changed the diagnosis after, and then a third time by a college.

A lot of people think blaming Haruka's parents is a catch all that makes it easy to ignore systemic issues that heavily impacted a myriad of people born around the same time as Haruka.

Including another person in this fucking prison,

MILGRAM -ミルグラム- / PV (Man I wish I could link a timestamp but go frame by frame and trust me. Hope whatever you entity you believe in gets you there even if it's just yourself. Because got damn it's hard.)

Fuck it while I'm here... Here's four more.

Their time in Milgram be like,

The Audience: Lol, you guys need some mental health care come on where's the get therapy option.

Haruka & Mikoto: WE'D LIKE TO FUCKING KNOW! WHERE IS IT?! TELL US! TELL US-

These two fuckers going through every possible issue people born in the late nineties could have in spiraling succession.

A man born in 1997 and a dude born in 1996 (unless he was also lying) enter a jail together make direct eye-contact and go I feel a weird kinship with you. Like you may have communication issues that are hindering your social abilities stunting your room for growth and path to personal success. It feels like it's something staggeringly out of your control when boiled down but will be fully blamed on you anyway. Let me teach you these skills (masking techniques learned through years of all around abuse, manipulation, and being down right harassed into conforming. Because if you don't you'll either worry the people around you, get completely ostracized, or die on the street basically with no means of financially supporting yourself).

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

Then the guy who was neglected and begging for any advice was like- Oh my god really you're gonna help me. Then Mikoto got voted guilty to hell and back. So, he couldn't help anyone even himself.

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……?

Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……?

Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly……

Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

What was this about again oh yeah. So I finally got to have my disability court case. After it got rescheduled multiple times because I couldn't get my representation papers filled out or turned in on time. Si was basically writing this to go finally that's over. Don't know how it will turn out but I wanted to talk about Haruka's story and the myriad of ways it could be tied to developmental disability and mental health. As well as why it particularly tickles me that they really went he was born in 1997.

Because when I realized it said that I literally went you don't even have to explain anything else that year tells me how we got here when it comes to everything with mental health I fully understand how we got here from that year. I could just be really chill about it because it's three in the morning I haven't eaten dinner and I've been typing this since seven pm. But like they didn't have to call out a whole age range like this maybe Mikoto is lying let's all hope.

It can't be 1996 and 1997 back to back. That shit would be too funny but also I don't think my heart can take it. Calm down be a little less funny. Bring it in a little.

[loveveil]

I have so many thoughts about Cantos 6-7-8 as a matching trifecta of interweaving themes, and my one friend that's into the series just got back into it and is on canto 5. I can only hold readers in my author's notes hostage for so long, so congrats on this being my first personal post on tumblr in literal years.

Maybe I'll start using this site more than just poking around tags when I'm bored.

Anyways

Been thinking a lot about how 6-7-8 involve sinners that the most likely to be brushed aside due to surface level factors in canon and by the fandom. Now, everyone goes through some degree of being mischaracterized by people, and all the Sinners have Hidden Depths (tm), but I find these three are the most susceptible. Rodya as well but that's a whole different story entirely and she's doing it on purpose anyway. They also have the most jarring pasts to contrast how they are now, so far at least.

Like of course, hindsight 20/20 and there's only so much you can do with characters that don't want to share their past or you know don't remember about their past to share, but it's so fascinating to me. I also find these three to be the most emotionally intelligent out of everyone. I am connecting dots frantically and waving string around if you can't tell.

It was so easy to write Heathcliff off as "just one of those guys" which I can't blame anyone for because he really did not make it easy, (I love him but I'm biased about Wuthering Heights) but then the Sinners are forced with the uncomfortable truth that Heathcliff was abused and looked down on his entire life and that's why he's the way he is. Of course, he's going to snark back and get angry if you start poking at him when you're getting close to parroting the same things as his abusers.

They almost lost Don Quixote and the fact that she had to go "oh now you want to listen to my stories" was such a good moment to me. I don't think everyone brushed her aside before then, but it happened enough to make note of; it effected her. Her feelings were probably hurt! The being basically told "now you start caring when it's dire," makes me wonder if they'll start being more consciences of each other in general. Everyone saying nice things to her at the end felt so campy in a good way but also like "oh man we gotta something nice right now!!" I'm begging everyone to please care about each other. Y'all are giving me secondhand embarrassment.

Hong Lu is a different beast entirely because he doesn't want to talk about his family in depth. He plays into the naive rich kid thing well, at first anyway, so it's easy to brush him off. I can't say much about him in general because no canto yet, but I believe he is also playing a role a he wholeheartedly believes in. He too is tied to a filial piety he cannot escape perhaps (I wanted bloodfiend ID for hong lu so bad they hate me). He will just mention horrific things and go on like it's no big deal, and the conversation has moved on before anyone can call him out on it. Him deciding to be the most candid with Rodya was definitely a choice; I like it. Whoever decides to call him out on his horrific upbringing one day, I wish you luck. I do wonder if that's going to happen in one of the Intervallos because he cannot keep getting away with this; he probably thinks he can because no one has asked him to talk about it. Hit em with the "oh I thought you never cared enough to ask" Hong Lu, I dare you.

Also interesting how we nearly lost Heathcliff and Don Quixote in different ways. Would love if the same happened to Hong Lu. I like the drama.

If Canto 8 ends up dealing with themes of change and memory well, that'd be a win for me.

This got away from me, but thumbs up. I swear I can be coherent.

[obsidianbaby]

Don't Love Me Like A Brother - Prologue

Brothers Best Friend Series - PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 1 -

series synopsis - ronnie's younger brother, tyler, is a famous youtuber & influencer and is best friends with the sturniolos. This series will be following ronnie's life as she befriends the triplets and catches herself developing feelings for a certain someone...

**series will contain smut as it develops but warnings will be added to those specific chapters

**found myself writing a few flashback chapters before present day just to build up the established friendships bc I'm impatient and don't want the slow burn to drain anyone 😭

warnings/notes - no smut in this as it's just the prologue to introduce y'all to the story.

a/n - starting this series and im very exciteddddddd i hope y'all fuck with a slow burn, friends to lovers best friends brother type beat. Buckle up mfs it's gonna be an angsty ride

a/n pt 2 - im not gonna share who ronnie develops feelings for just yet I want y'all to be on edge okok enjoy MWAH xx

__________________________________

PROLOGUE

ronnies pov

having a brother who's famous on social media is humbling to say the least.

The amount of fan girls who have followed my accounts just because they're obsessed with him makes me question many people's sanity (including my own).

But tyler is one of my best friends. And thank god for my dad, who from the jump, did not tolerate any misogynistic bullshit from my brother.

Raising two kids as a single dad after my mom passed away (before ty and I were older than the age of 5) was tough for him and he embraced the times when he needed support (like when i first got my period, bless his heart he bought almost every type of menstrual product off the shelf).

His values were the perfect structure for us to grow up following; respect, open communication, giving our best efforts to everything (even if the only effort we could offer up was a 60% instead of a 100%)

My childhood friends would always whine about how "chill" my dad was. And it's not cause he didn't care, (he probably cares too much) but he didn't want to shield us either, knowing we need to learn how to exist in the world without him constantly up our asses.

"As long as we can talk about shit at the end of the day then we're good" one of his favorite mantras he would spew to me and ty when we would get caught doing something you might call a "right of passage" as a teenager.

And since it was just the three of us, we've always leaned on each other a lot. Sunday family dinners at nans' every week, taking turns helping my dad at his shop after school (he's a car mechanic), movie nights every thursday night where my dad would close up shop early, setting up the projector in the shop garage and ordering us pizza. My brother has been a best friend to me since I held him in my arms at the age of 3 when he was born.

And of course, we have the usual chaotic fights to the death like most siblings do, him pranking me in the most annoying ways, me making fun of his dumbass, him eating all of my food, me stealing his cool clothes, him begging me to uber him around everywhere, etc.

But we also just really enjoy each other's company too; going on late night walks around town, sitting in bed staying up talking all night, playing mario cart for hours (id always kick his ass), going adventuring together to forests or beaches, hanging out at the skate park together (me laughing at him eating shit and him chasing me around trying to whack me with his board), us both ditching our friends to stay at home and yap to each other instead, us having campfires in the backyard with both of our friend groups together, working on restoring mom's 1967 ford mustang together that she left us when she passed.

So when he came to me a few years back, during the pandemic, asking my thoughts on him posting on youtube, I was in full support (after teasing him that no one would find him, an 18 year old lanky white boy about to graduate high school funny or interesting. I have to keep him humble ya know?)

But his first few videos on youtube went viral and his following kept growing daily, especially when he started posting on tiktok too.

He's had me (and even my dad) featured in his videos which i don't mind at all (since im the one that's editing them)

I can see why the internet loves him (i did help raise him of course).

But since he's hit over 3 million on youtube last year, he's been doing a shit ton of collabs with other influencers and youtubers; the sturniolo triplets, larray, emma chamberlain, jake webster, tarayummy, vinnie hacker, carrington, etc.

And these days I try to stay behind the scenes as much as possible, trying to enjoy my solitude away from the opinions of crazy fans. (why do they care so much about what im doing anyways?)

Yet he understands (thank god) and he's always inviting me to come hangout with the friends he's made through social media, and i can't lie and say i don't enjoy being in the company of such dope (and attractive) people.

END OF PROLOGUE

______________________________________________

a/n - hellooooo i have a few more parts already written for this but im gonna wait to see how this post goes first (because i have a dire need for validation and praise) anywaysssss thank you for reading mwah xx

[phightingaus]

ok I had an idea I had. Ideas today and I need to put them somewhere…. (also this is bird guy back with a brand new au idea sigh. Too many of them)

ok so uh. I like the deities and so I was just thinking about them yk normal things. I had a thought right.

Coil has the ice n stuff in his frostbite fusion form right. And Icedagger is like. frosty little guy.

so I had this idea:

What if the deities had some form of their own crystals?

what I mean by that is what if they all made little gems or something that’s able to be harnessed to either use their power or outright just summon them? And so I made a few little things with that idea and now I want to share them :)

The crystals themselves first, I’d say they look like glowing rocks or smth or other. Different shapes based on the deity, diff colors stuff like that. And most of them are being kept by a certain inphernal. Which the ideas I had are:

Venomshank’s is kept by Subspace. VS hid his with GW’s and ID’s and it just so happened to be found by Blackrock, and it’s the crystal Subspace has. It’s able to harness his poison to be downright lethal in low doses, and he does Not like that it’s being used like this. But he also doesn’t wanna go sort it out cause it’s ID’s faction yk.

Ghostwalker’s is kept by Medkit (because I thought, the revival Med can do). GW truly doesn’t care that someone found his, if anything he’s just a bit happy it’s not in bad hands, cause Med at least respects its powers. It uses the healing capability by just very lesser means of revival.

Icedagger’s is, as stated, kept by Coil’s. Icedagger was ignorant to the fact it was taken until Coil first used his fusion mode with it. In which he did the reasonable thing, and chased down Coil and demanded to know how he had it and stuff like that. So Coil basically just got interrogated by a literal god one day but he’s fine. Anyways they’ve come to a bit of a hesitant truce with it, ID won’t pester him and Coil won’t use it too often or anything.

Windforce’s is kept by Ban Hammer, which was a gift for his 18th birthday or whatever. It’s one of the gems on his armor (of course, though, hidden) and he uses it to call his mom when he feels like it. It’s also got the ability to make things lighter or whatever I guess (which is how he isn’t weighed down very much by his armor)

Firebrand’s is kept by both Valk and Dom, because FB didn’t feel like anyone else could keep it in safe hands than his grandkids. Sure as hell not their parents. Flipside keep it with one or the other at all times. It’s virtually useless right now with Firebrand being MIA and no-contact, but previously it could burn things and was warm to the touch (portable microwave….)

Darkheart’s is kept by Zuka, it was given to him when the two were still on good enough terms. Zuka just doesn’t want the burden on anyone else, so he doesn’t get rid of it. Still gotta figure out what it can do ig Zuka just keeps it in his dresser or something.

Finally, Illumina’s is not kept by anyone (as he does not view anyone as worthy to keep it), but if it were to be kept by anyone I’d say Sword in the case of Follower Sword. Also gotta figure out what it can do

Anyways uh ya that’s. literally just most of what my idea was. make of this what you will I suppose

a little mini idea for this was that it notifies the deities or smth when their power is used by it, so like. Ghostwalker just doing his job and then he gets the sense that Something Just Happened cause.

also they’re able to be replicated, but only utilizing a mere fraction of its capability (there’s only able to be one of them but ppl like Med and Sub found ways to make little mini pocket versions)

ok anywhosies byebye until I appear again 👋👋👋👋

Ooooo....bird anon bird guy cooking yet again! Is there a post when you don't?

Oh, boy! It's a good thing that Venom's stone doesn't have the ability to zombify like its creator does. That + Subspace would. Not be good. Lol.

Ik its a common sentiment amongst the community...but I love seeing Ghostwalker + Medkit connections. They like mentor and student fr fr :)

Ah. So that's how Ban can use deposition with a whole-ass suit of armor. Makes sense!

Firebrand's stone acting like a Don't Starve thermal stone is kinda funny, actually. Firebrand come home,,,

A stone gets used, and I picture a deity going like this.

[rosetta-draws]

angelica's three fundamental truths

disclaimer: this is my first hamilton analysis, pls give me grace as i figure out how this works. all of this is my own opinion, so if u disagree or don't understand smth PLS TELL ME!! id love to discuss or debate :∙D

1. "I'm a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry rich. my father has no sons, so I'm the one who has to social climb for one. so I'm the oldest and the wittiest, and the gossip in nyc is insidious. and alexander is penniless... that doesn't mean I want him any less."

angelica always has her weight of her family name hanging over her head (much like burr). it's not as if she can't handle this responsibility; she is a genius and has good control over herself.

alexander, however, almost makes her forget her duties and loosen her manner (I say almost cuz "what the hell is the catch" & "you forget yourself" show that it was still in the back of her mind). this isn't just because shes attracted to him; alexander is also a mirror for her, a what-if. angelica is a genius on par with hamilton, but is restricted by being a woman and by her status as a schuyler. alexander is hindered by neither of these (as much as he'd love to have the latter), so he functions as the idea of freedom for her. later on (in "take a break"), it seems as if she lives vicariously through him, cuz he's got everything she wants; to stay in new york, to stay with her sisters, to write for freedom and build the new country. i imagine that if she wasn't into hamilton, she'd be jealous of him instead.

2. "he's after me cuz I'm a schuyler sister, that elevates his status. I'd have to be naive to set that aside, maybe that is why I introduce him to eliza, now that's his bride. nice going, angelica, he was right: you will never be satisfied."

while being a schuyler opens many opportunities for angelica, it also means she has to be wary of her suitors' ulterior motives. more important in these lines is angelica's indirect description of eliza compared to herself. angelica knows that she herself is smart and quick witted, and that she fits the skills needed to be an heiress. eliza does not. angelica doesn't call her naive as an insult; it doesn't really seem to occur to her that it is an insult at all. she states it as fact that eliza won't care that alexander might be after her just for her wealth (and she is correct).

(also noteworthy is that angelica doesn't stop loving alex despite that possibility either. maybe the draw of meeting her equal is enough?? even tho she suspects him to be a cheater and gold digger??

...I don't know what they both see in him =_=)

3. "I know my sister like I know my own mind. You will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. if I tell her that I love him, she'd be silently resigned. he'd be mine. she would say I'm fine; she'd be lying."

and finally the key difference between angelica and hamilton: family. more specifically, caring for someone else more than for yourself. angelica has her own aspirations and desires but they will always be secondary to her family, both abstractly, as she preserves her family's legacy, and practically, as she chooses eliza's happiness over her own.

hamilton does not have that kind of bond with anyone. for all that he can be caring and protective of his people and his nation, he will always put himself first. it's not surprising, considering how he grew up, but it still ends up being his undoing.

(also of note here is this description of eliza. specifically that she stays "silently resigned" & lies to cover her feelings when she's upset. perhaps this is what eliza usually does for angelica, but for hamilton she makes no secret of her feelings. to be fair, even eliza herself constantly understates her agency and willpower (see: the entirety of "helpless"). however, when eliza knows what she wants she does not hesitate to get it. I have a few more thoughts about her having an easier life because of angelica's sacrifices, as well as angelica misunderstanding her, but that's for a separate post.)

bonus: "but when I fantasize at night it's alexander's eyes, as I romanticise what might have been if I hadn't sized him up so quickly. At least my dear eliza's his wife... at least I keep his eyes in my life."

earlier angelica applauds her intelligence and perceptiveness, but here she curses it. ignorance is bliss, and if she wasn't so attentive to her family's needs, she could follow her own ventures. but!! don't forget that though she doesn't act on her ambitions, they are always there. she doesn't stop dreaming of alexander, or stop missing her sisters and her city.

tldr: angelica is a disciplined, genius woman of high social standing, and is critically aware of this. she constantly has the weight of supporting her family on her mind, and is devoted to them. hamilton represents her more self-centered desires, and though she doesn't pursue him, she never stops wanting him, and likewise she never fully forgets her personal ambitions despite choosing not to achieve them. in part because of the society she lives in, and in part because of eliza's infatuation with hamilton (aka prioritizing her family's happiness over her own), angelica will never get everything she wants. again, she knows this, and resigns herself to never being satisfied.

[our-queer-experience]

Okay this might be kind of long but i need to know if anyone else has experienced something similar. uhh Content warning for internalized transphobia/homophobia I guess

So basically I'm transmasc nonbinary and for the longest time I've thought of myself as a lesbian, and I've always been very uncomfortable with the idea of being with a guy, even before I knew I was queer at all. And like, I definitely am at least predominantly attracted to women, i don't usually find men attractive at all.

But recently I've started to really like this guy in a way that's pretty confusing since I already have a hard time distinguishing between romantic and platonic attraction. But also sometimes when I think about it too much it just feels so wrong and makes me uncomfortable.

I've struggled a lot with gender dysphoria and self acceptance related to being trans and I'm not sure if the discomfort is picturing myself with a cis guy makes me feel like id be the de-facto girl of the relationship (I realize what a weird thought that is but it has been also been a feeling I've experienced a lot in the past, note the aforementioned self acceptance issues.) Or if I'm feeling insecure about my masculinity in some way. He's bi and very accepting of my gender so it's not like he would only see me as a girl or anything but it still just feels wrong and icky somehow

Also it reminds me a bit of stories of people in denial about their sexuality like I've literally had the thought many times of if he was a girl I would totally want to date him no hesitation. so idk.

But it could also be that I'm just not actually attracted to him? Cause i love my friends very intensely and it could be that thinking about being romantically involved with him makes me uncomfortable because I'm not actually attracted to him, and i actually just really love him platonically? And also I'm usually only attracted to women so the fact that the only exception to that is someone I already really care about as a friend seems kind of suspicious?

Labels aren't really my concern here idgaf about what my sexuality is called I just feel like its so messy that I cant actually tell if i actually like him or not. because if i do actually want to like ask him out or something and then realize I'm not actually attracted to him that would be a fucking nightmare, especially since i really care about our friendship already.

TLDR: I cant tell if im not attracted to men or the thought of being with one just makes me feel really insecure about my gender. Has anyone else felt like being trans and dysphoria made understanding their sexuality and attraction really confusing???

i completely get this! im bisexual and have always been confident in my attraction to guys (minus maybe 2 weeks as a preteen when i wondered about lesbianism) but for me it comes with the sense that ill probably end up settling down with a woman because that is the way to Be A Man, and i cant be The Man when around another guy. masculinity is so competitive and while im aware of it, that makes it not easier to defeat, but easier to not be toxic and project it onto other people.

i think its the kind of thing that gets better with time and confidence. nothing you can rush. as for with your friend…. giving it time and thinking on it cant hurt. human relationships are really hard. knowing how you feel is really hard. i cant tell you what will fix your situation, but i can tell you that youre not alone.

[izzyshandz]

I swear if i see one more mf say izzy has been 'redeemed' or needed a 'redemption arc' im literally going to scream into my pillow until i lose my voice.

redeem is such a black and white way of looking at his entire character and dismisses everything hes gone through and yall (izzy haters and others) are just so fucking snob nosed and ignorant to sit there and think hes a villain because of how he acted. theyre fucking pirates. theyre not perfect, none of them are. eds a villain, stedes a villain, if youre doing it like that. ed has killed so many people, stede literally left his wife and kids and also had a hand in killing people; it may be easier for them to change because of the perspective the show gives them and they had love but izzy did not. everyone hated him, ed, his own crew, stedes crew.

normalizing peoples reactions to things as something other than villainy and heroism is so god damn important in a show that's trying to accurately involve our perspectives in this day and age. its a tale as old as time, making someone 'completely in the wrong' because their perspective isnt the one you aligned with as much.

like the rest of the crew izzy had his own bad things hes done, he didnt need this 'redemption' everyones blabbering on about. he needed to be fucking heard, to be seen, and acknowledged-- not thrown aside and abandoned because of a whim. you all can ride up blackbeards ass because oh hes so hot, hes so pretty omg wow; but that wont ever change the fact his character is a fucked up person... youre allowed to love him anyways, why not izzy? we didnt see blackbeard before screen but how hes mentioned it shows he was a shit awful person, the only reason no one cares is because on hes fuckin gay for stede or whatever so the main characters get a free ride. ( i agree they all get a free ride, im just tired of this izzy isolation man )

why does he need to be redeemed in your eyes? just because youve seen what hes done? he was literally a product of his environment in season one he was a product of blackbeard's leadership. only with the loyalty and solidarity of the crew did he really begin to find himself, thats fucking hard to do that late in life. instead of calling it some bullshit black and white redemption arc, lets just celebrate izzy being himself and being fucking loved for once in his god damn life.

hes also way more fucking mature and put together than people give him credit for. love you izzy.

edit: thank you all for the reblogs and insights in every single one, i read them i promise i do. im just so mf heartbroken we have to tag things as discourse when its really just about people not being compassionate. (as a couple people have pointed out) i will said id reblog and comment on every single tag but this is my side </3 EVERYONE PLEASE READ THE REBLOGGED TAGS TOO / / theyre so real ! ive also opened up that ask box thingy i havent been on tumblr in yrs and have 0 clue how any of that works if anyone wants my perspective on anything izzy related. *or otherwise ofmd related

[ac3ofspad3s-on-ao3]

so I lowkey forgot about fic friday until like 3 seconds ago so I'm going to talk about an au based on this post by Sircantus with the current name Anyone can be a Princess.

There's like, nearly 5k words and I was liking it, I had some people who also liked it but I fucking don't so it's getting used for scraps when I decide to make a new version.

Version 1.0 was that Techno got summoned by Sofia, but not the usual way, not through a blood sacrifice, she doesn't even want him to kill someone for her. Her amulent summoned him, because according to that he's a princess????

She wants help preventing a famine. So, he makes a deal with her. (Techno's like, a demon or god or something) He'll help her with the potatoes and she'll help him with becoming a princess. The deal has to be made because Techno can't choose to accept or deny summons, once a sacrifice is made, he's summoned and has to do as his Summoner commands.

The overarching theme was going to be about autonomy but that fell flat.

There was an A and B plot, A was Techno helping Sofia and everyone trying to not tell Sofia that Technoblade is famous for murdering royalty and defeating armies single handedly and is not in fact a princess.

The B plot would be that Techno keeps getting summoned between 2 waring kingdoms, with sacrifices that keep getting larger and larger. And would eventually end with Techno, being summoned seeing his temple piled high with bodies and only the king left who's gone mad. The king tries to tell him to storm the castle and kill the king and his children.

Which would mirror a previous scene, one that explains that long ago Techno was summoned to steal an amulet from a princess. Sofia's Amulet, and for some reason that amulet decided Techno qualified as a princess that could be summoned to help.

But instead of killing this new princess Techno saves her, he protects her and takes her somewhere safe.

my main gripe is that the A plot wasn't well developed, so Id add more scenes to that, I think I'd keep the B plot because it's fun and I do like the themes. But I'd start from scratch if only because I fucking despise editing shit and trying to find places to insert new scenes.

It has taken a back seat in terms of my other wips but maybe I'll work on it this summer if I have the time.

Anyway, here's a little snippet of it.

Sofia insisted that Techno join her and her family for every meal, citing their deal as a reason when he suggested he eat alone. How could he learn how to be a better princess if he didn’t learn proper table manners? Long ago someone had tried to teach Techno etiquette to prepare him for the first of many meetings with ambassadors from neighboring kingdoms. On the night of the dinner he’d forgotten everything and chose to eat nothing at all. The ambassador he’d met with had talked himself into a peace treaty and trade agreement that heavily favored the Arctic Empire before dessert had arrived. After that he didn’t bother to relearn. Kristin sometimes tried to but as long as Techno was better at eating then Tommy she didn’t really care for proper table manners. Sofia and her two siblings Amber and James made a game of who could correct Techno’s poor manners first. The game quickly devolved into yelling and Techno kept “forgetting” which fork was for what, if he bothered to use a fork at all. Tommy would be proud. “Even Sofia was better with her table manners when she first came to the castle than you are!” Amber loudly, a look of disgust on her face when Techno had once again abandoned the cutlery and used his hands to eat. “Amber, there’s no need to shout.” The Queen said, glancing between her daughter and the Blood God. Techno ignored her. “Of course Sofia is better than me with all of this, she’s stayed in the kingdom all her life. I travel all over, in some kingdoms people do eat with their hands, in others they use two sticks to pinch the food and eat it. After enough travel you forget what’s done where and do what’s most comfortable.” That placated the children somewhat as their attention was drawn towards asking Techno about his travels. But their corrections never ceased, no matter how many times their parents tried to get them to stop. It was entertaining, Techno had no plans to hurt any of them, and couldn’t hurt Sofia if he wanted to. But none of them knew that, and he was having far too much fun to tell them. If they did know they’d probably try to execute him, he hated the feeling of rope around his neck, so he kept quiet.

[the-fabled-void]

Storyshift: Elevation

I have been thinking about the fact that not a lot of people mess with Storyshift Chara's ability to perfectly remember reloads. And their (past? ) ability to reload on their own.

So, I thought about how one could utilize it. If they lost the ability, how would they regain it?

As all things in this fandom, it led me to think about the No Mercy route. And an idea was born. This idea is partially inspired by "Storyshift: Core Encounter", but mine's still pretty different.

Before I forget, I'mma tag

@the-selfinsert (thanks again for showing interest :) )

@gabersupermurder (you might enjoy seeing the full thing)

CW: Brief mention of a human corpse. It's just 1 sentence, but I'll still mark the text red so you may skip it

In my idea for a Storyshift Genocide route, Chara's ability to reload is crucial. For most of the game, their abilities are limited to reloading only, no resets. They can also only reload to a the latest save point that someone saved at. Someone including Frisk. So as soon as Frisk saves somewhere else, Chara can't turn back time.

So Frisk falls, and they begin the slaughter. By the time Chara even attempts to use a save point (assuming they lost the ability, they probably assumed they lost it forever), it is already too late. They couldn't even save their brother, but maybe they can save someone else.

Now please note, for this interpretation I'm mixing both Preboot and Reboot storyshift. I'm gonna borrow the ides that King Sans made a rule to not attack humans, BUT many monsters still choose to anyway. So Chara, in order to live in the underground, must hide.

But now, chasing after Frisk, they are in the open. And since the only other human that monsters see at this point in time is Frisk, monsters get them mixed up. So even monsters who are normally neutral and wouldn't attack, end up doing it, attacking the wrong human.

And this slows Chara doewn further. Even of they know more about the underground than the other human, they never make it on time.

There is a reason that Sans kept Chara alive. Other than the fact he doesn't really care about hurting anyone, at one point, he'd figured out their ability to reload. Maybe he tried to kill them, failed, and through deja vu realized what they could do, and that it could be useful? And so they formed a weird kind of friendship. Maybe, he genuinely didn't want to hurt them, but they were paranoid and didn't believe him, so he made that up.

Regardless, King Sans basically told them to use [Reload] it as a last resort, and they're trying their best and failing miserably.

So Chara realizes that the only way to defeat the human is by giving up their soul. Being self sacrificial is apparently just a Chara thing.

The one time that Chara has an advantage is the castle, because they actually know their way around it. So they make it to the elevator first.

They desperately try to get the door to shut... So they can make it to the castle before Frisk.

But it only shuts when Frisk is inside.

They say the following: "Two humans walk into ae

an elevator. This must be the beginning of a joke."

And then, the FIGHT begins.

In everyone else’s eyes, the fight only took a minute. But for Chara?

It felt like an eternity.

Because it was. Every time Frisk died, they'd reload. Every time Chara died, they'd do the same.

I have two endings in mind. Both end with Chara dead, but they're still pretty different.

One would be triggered if for whatever reason, Frisk is trying to spare Chara throughout. Mercy is impossible, but the Act menu is open. The only act is "Become The Actor", which is still just a second attack button.

At one point, Chara receives yet another deadly blow. At this point, they stopped counting. And they realise that this will never end. So,

"Hey. I finally know how the joke ends. 2 humans walk into an elevator."

Chara makes their way to the elevator's control panel.

The lights go black.

Crash.

The room sizzles with electricity.

When there's light again, it becomes visible that Chara destroyed the control panel, so that the door cannot be opened anymore.

"But neither of them come out."

At this point, the elevator descends instead of ascending.

That's one possible ending.

Frisk is trapped with the rotting corpse of the one enemy in the game that doesn't turn to dust when they die.

The other happens if you FIGHT as usual: They don't finish the sentence at all, they don't touch the panel. They just die normally.

If you go back and CHECK, the narration will read : "... Only one comes out."

The screen flashes to black, and when it flashes back, Frisk can now exit the elevator. They walk out to find their last encounter. The King.

King expects Chara to show up, probablprior knowledge, but he sees Frisk instead.

During the encounter, he just talks to the human.

Dodge a few times while he's at it, and go "Are you happy now? Had your fun?".

It’s always just him monologuging instead of fighting when it's his turn, and dodging at yours. He'll probably tire himself out like in the original, but by then, he still made his point.