#- they played two songs from it! Never watched Star Wars but the music sounded so lovely

[q-starhalo]

Love getting that gut punch everytime I open your blog and see "it's just a stupid egg!"

The demons always come back... They aaalways come back......

I will always adore that quote, it broke me so much but it's sooooooo gooooooddd aughhhh <333

[sometipsygnostalgic]

We've been watching star wars, lots of it.

The other day we were discussing music. How the original trilogy is full of bombastic, magnificient tracks, and the prequels have these smashing epics, but the sequels have opted for more ambience, and there are only two leitmotifs to speak of, one only nine notes long (Kylo Ren).

See, I'm not alien to the creation of leitmotif without a whole song to go with it. This is how Marvel's been doing it for a little while now (since they were annihilated by a youtuber 8 years ago for their bad music apparently).

It's also how She-ra does it. This seems to be the compromise between the "in the background" scoring modern directors ask for and the "in your face" scoring musicians want to perform.

But here are a few differences even in that (rather bland) category of music:

She-ra is constantly taking advantage of its leitmotifs. That 11 note She-ra motif? You are damn aware when it's in your face, and it always shows up when She-ra is doing something magic.

Entrapta's theme is 7 to 14 notes long and it plays a lot, whenever she's doing something, whenever Hordak is thinking of her. Can be silly, loud, or very quiet depending on the mood of the scene.

Catra has a theme for when she's being evil. It is in fact She-ra's theme played in a different key. It sounds completely different so it's not obvious, which is brilliant in my opinion.

Hordak and Horde Prime... don't have a theme, but they have a specific chord that plays when they're on screen. Effective if forgettable.

Best Friend Squad has a theme. I associate it with Glimmer because it's very sparkly and used in action scenes. It repeats enough that I'd recognise it if I heard it.

And finally that complete banger of an opening, and all those whole, complete soundtracks you get in the end credits of some episodes (such as Light Hope). Those pieces of music in particular are memorable despite not being leitmotifs (mostly).

The star wars themes, you have Rey's theme which to be fair is great, and Kylo Ren's theme which only exists as 7 evil notes. You don't get all those themes from OT and Prequels which went so hard. You get a score which sounds like Star Wars Music, but none of the tracks stand out whatsoever. And none of the other characters seem to have any memorable music, none of the scenes, the intro music is the same as it's ever been. The trailer music was always remixed stuff from the Original Trilogy, never anything new.

I wonder what happened. It's possible Disney rejected any better compositions from Williams. It's possible that he was phoning it in at this point because he was called back into star wars yet again. It's possible the source material was not all that inspiring? Who knows. But while the sequels have John Williams and a bunch of OT musical references, they don't seem to have a Star Wars score.

[star-writes-sometimes]

nothing

c.w. - drug use (marijuana), implied fem reader, fluff, idiots in love, pining

a/n - this is just two short blurbs inspired by the song 'nothing' by bruno majors, this is the same remus and r as the look after each other verse (if you wanna check them out look here)

—

remus was wearing grey sweatpants and a faded graphic tshirt. you were wearing a star wars hoodie and fluffy pyjama shorts. 

you both had mugs full of red wine on the coffee table in front of you. your mug was an care bears mug and remus had a jurassic park one.

the end credits of scooby doo were rolling on the screen. matching pairs of worn doc martens were in a pile by the door and phones were discarded face down on the table.

remus stretched lazily, causing his shirt to ride up and you to get a lovely view of his pretty happy trail disappearing behind his low hanging sweatpants, “wanna play a game now, bunny,” he asked with a slight yawn.

“only if you’re ready to lose,” you said with a cheeky smile.

remus set up mario kart and sat next you on the couch. you sat criss cross applesauce, you socked foot and bare knee touching his leg. he handed you your controller, one half pastel pink and the other half pastel yellow. his were pastel purple and pastel green.

you loaded up the game, you were always player one. you selected your usual character and kart combo, while remus selected his usual character, dry bones.

you played the egg cup, you came first on every course. you were laser focused, leaning towards the screen, the controller clutched tightly in your grip.

you never noticed the way remus would stare at you with an affectionate smile, adoring your concentrated expression. 

whenever he played against james or sirius he effortlessly beat them everytime, rejoicing in watching them lose, he usually hated losing but he didn’t mind it so much when he got to watch you win.

it was worth it to see you smile.

—

one of remus’ favourite spots to sit was on his fire escape. he had his set up like a proper stoner with an ash trays and pillows to rest on. on those rare nights without rain you would usually find him out there, the window open as some old music pours out from inside.

and more often than not you would join him.

you'd sit shoulder to shoulder, gazing at the stars and humming along to the music, chattering aimlessly.

“do you think aliens are real?” you asked softly.

“more than likely, but i don't think we'll ever have confirmation,” remus replied.

you'd hum softly and bring the pink bong up to your lips for another hit. as you exhale the smoke your eyes flutter shut and you would lean your head back.

“i think you might be an alien,” you would say sweetly, not taking your eyes off the stars.

remus raised his eyebrows, “oh yeah? whys that bunny?”

you giggled softly, the green coursing through your veins made your thoughts slower and heavier, “because you're like, so perfect for me.”

remus chuckled, “that makes me an alien?”

“yeah because scooby doo, y'know?”

“i'm afraid you've lost me, love.”

“theres this scooby doo movie called alien invasion and shaggy and scooby meet this girl and her dog and they are just so perfect for them but then it turns out they're aliens and they can't be together.” you explained with a small pout, “sometimes i worry that the real reason you're so perfect for me is cause you're an alien about to leave me.”

remus smiled affectionately and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, gently moving you to rest on his chest, “you got nothin’ to worry about sweet girl, i promise i’m not an alien,” he kissed the crown of your head gently, “and even if i was, i wouldn't want to leave you.”

you hummed and put down the bong, intertwining your fingers with his, “you promise you'd tell me if you were an alien?”

“pinky promise, bunny,” he brought your linked hands up to kiss softly.

you stared at the stars together silently for a few beats, the only sounds being the traffic below and the bowie record playing inside.

“have i told you lately i’m grateful you're mine?” remus whispered softly.

you blushed and giggled, “shut up,” you said playfully, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

—

[dramaticpandabear]

I have never written fan fiction before, but I got so inspired by this song that I just had to write something. So, this is my first one and I hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think! It’s Hancock x f!sole survivor.

God Only Knows

“You’re still messing with that thing?” said Hancock, watching with amusement as his vault-dwelling companion kept turning the dials on a beat-up radio. They were holed up in an abandoned, yet cozy, Red Rocket in front of Sanctuary Hills. The vault-dweller insisted on going to her “little hideaway” before Preston could bombard her with another settlement that needed helping.

And so, the two of them sat with a reprieve they seldom ever get, relishing it before they have to get going once more. The machine in her hands switched from a chorus of static to classical music to Travis’ stuttering and back to static once again.

“I swear it exists,” exclaimed his companion. “I heard it playing when I found an abandoned cabin not too far from Sanctuary. Apparently it’s called the “Old Gold” radio, and it plays music from before the war. Reminds me of when Nate and I--” She paused.

Opting to distract herself than deal with her grief, she directed her attention to the radio in front of her, turning the dials every which way hoping to find the elusive station. Every day she spent around Hancock it became easier to let those memories slip, but even she couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence. Perhaps someday, but not today.

She could feel the ghoul’s eyes on her. The more they travel together, the better he gets at reading her every thought. Nevertheless, he decided not to push it as they fell into a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, the eclectic sound of an accordion mixed with a hypnotic beat starts blaring through the radio’s speakers. Hancock jolted for a moment -- he’s only ever heard Magnolia’s songs and the music Travis was able to salvage for his radio. But this, this was something else entirely.

“Finally! See, I told you it was real,” she exclaimed as he turned towards her. He saw her misty eyes, squinting nostalgically as though she could see the actual sound waves projecting from the radio in her hands. The sound of sweet, dulcet voices filled the air as they sang:

I may not always love you, but long as there stars above you…

Hancock took in a breath, and was about to ask, when she beat him to it. “It’s the Beach Boys,” she said in a daze, mesmerized as though she couldn’t believe she was hearing a song from before the world burned before her.

…You never need to doubt it, I’ll make you so sure about it…

“God, I haven’t heard this song in years!” he smirked but just before he could make a quip, she hit his shoulder playfully. Although he could read her thoughts pretty well, she easily did the same for him.

“Don’t you start with that crap. I may be 210 years old, but at least I don’t have any wrinkles, unlike some people,” she started as she shot a mischievous look his way.

“You’re right on that one Sunshine,” he replied with a raspy laugh on his lips. “I guess being frozen for all that time works wonders on the skin.”

“Oh absolutely, dermatologists hate me,” she quipped as he lightly chuckled despite not knowing what the fuck a dermatologist is. Turning back to listen to the music before her, she steeled herself with a deep sigh. “Last time I heard this was the night before Nate was deployed to Alaska. He asked me if I could dance with him.”

As she spoke, Hancock looked at her -- really looked at her. Somehow the sun shined just right as it hit her chestnut hair, casting a golden glow as she faced the radio. Although her eyes dulled with melancholy as she reminisced, he still caught the way her body swayed ever so slightly to the music, almost as if she were living inside that memory.

For a while now, they’ve been dancing around each other, both knowing they were beyond friendship at this point. Hancock knew she missed her husband dearly, but she expressed long ago that she’s ready to move on. And yet, neither of them has made the first move towards something more.

As the song entered into a (from what he considered) quirky instrumental section, Hancock figured that it was either now or never. He stood from the couch and approached her with his hand extended.

“I don’t come close to the man he was, but, if you don’t mind this ghoul before you,” and the way his black eyes gazed so tenderly into hers almost made her heart burst, rendering her speechless. “May I have this dance?”

Blinking up at him, all she could do was nod as she placed her hand in his. They began to lightly sway, coming closer as instruments were joined by carefree voices. As the music swelled, Hancock twirled her around as more words surrounded them.

…God only knows what I’d be without you. If you should ever leave me…

He spun her around so that her back was pressed against his as they continued to sway. He listened closely to these words as he looked down at her pensively. Her eyes were closed, basked in that gorgeous glow of sunlight. She looked like pure sunshine -- his sunshine.

…The world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me…

This enchanting song was echoing the words he held deep in his heart. Words he wished he could say to her, but never felt he could. After all, who would want to spend their lives loving a ghoul such as him?

And yet, here she was -- his sunshine nestled warmly in his arms. Dancing in this abandoned Red Rocket as though it were a slice of Heaven on Earth and that the Commonwealth’s troubles didn’t exist. Hancock never thought he deserved such bliss, and as he spun her to face him, her soft voice nearly swept him off his feet as he heard her singing along with the music:

…God only knows what I’d be without you…

Hancock basked in the sight before him. Her lidded eyes were peering right into his, and he could feel her light breath as she whispered those words. Now, he’s never sang in his life, but something about this moment gave him the confidence he needed to sing these lyrics that echoed the words in his heart. As the song slowed, he gave the main melody a try with a raspy voice that was slightly off-key. But every word echoed his sincere feelings for her, pure and utter devotion poured out for her. And it was music to her ears.

…God only knows what I’d be without you.”

The chorus of voices repeated these words, blurring together as the music surrounded them in a haze. Hancock slowly inched his face closer to hers until they finally met in the middle. Never did he taste such a kiss so sweet that it made Sugar Bombs sour by comparison.

As they embraced the music continued to swell around them as if it was the sound of their own hearts singing to each other. Hancock wasn’t even sure if he deserved her, but in his mind he was silently thanking these so-called “Beach Boys” for giving him the chance to finally have her in his arms. Their kiss grew deeper as he felt an ecstasy that no chem could come close to achieving.

Even as the song made its eventual end, the pair made no effort to stop as the radio played another melody. Who knew they could ever reach perfection in the middle of a wasteland?

[meantaylorsversion]

I CAN SEE YOU BEING MY ADDICTION

Football Player!Peter Parker x Marching Band!Shy!Reader

summary; both you and peter were nominated for homecoming court, but not as each other's dates. In fact you two kept your relationship a secret from everyone, even your closest friends. He wished he could show you off to the whole school

warnings; none lol

notes; pookies i am not in band but i have a lot of band friends so forgive me if this isn't the most accurate

words; 1.3k?

You watched as the crowd roared when Peter ran into the end zone. Your instrument blaring, to the sound of a song you've played many times before. A sly smile appeared on your face, the corner of your lips holding a secret only two people knew. It was a stroke of luck that the cheerleaders were placed in front of the band. All anyone could see from the big screen was Peter looking towards the cheerleaders with a big grin on his face, or what they thought was a smile underneath the helmet. The game was a landslide, the team was up 35 while the other team only had one touchdown from the first quarter and hadn't scored since. You heard your best friend at your side, whispering, "Why are you watching Parker? I thought you hated him,"

You scoff, turning your face away from them, "When have I ever said that! He's in my physics class and he's.....nice!" You hated lying to your best friend but you liked having him all to yourself. You and Peter had been dating secretly for a few months but you knew what all your friends would say. They were wrong, they only saw the persona he put on in school, but beneath that was the sweet and nerdy boy who geeked out over Star Wars while you threw popcorn at him. They didn't know how he visited his parent's graves every Sunday, or how he adored his Aunt May.

They scoffed lightly, "Yeah and the sky is green!" You rolled your eyes ignoring their comment, gluing your sight to the field, holding your instrument tightly.

The timer had ticked down, the lights shining brightly on the players. It was almost half-time, which was when the nominations for Homecoming Court would be announced. There was no chance that Peter wouldn't be voted for King, and you knew that Gwen Stacy would be nominated as his 'date'. It didn't bother you at all. No, not at all.

What you didn't account for was your friend putting your name in for the ballot and all of the music department voting for you and the Drum Major Austin Lawrence. The whistle blew, signaling the game was at halftime.  You let out a breath of relief as you got off the stands, following behind your friends slowly, hoping to catch a glimpse of Peter while the other marching band took the field.

You almost stumbled over your feet as you saw Peter take off his helmet as he exited the field. No matter how many times you saw your boyfriend, his beauty always took your breath away. The front strands of his hair stuck to his forehead, his face holding a grin as his teammates bumped their shoulders with him, as they left to the locker-room. You heard him laughing and joking with them, and you wish he would never stop laughing, the sound was so melodious to you that it felt brighter than the sun. You had spent so much staring at him that your friend had grabbed your arm and pulled you over to the concession stands, grabbing the food Austin was holding for them and shoving it into your hands, and you turned your head to the big screen. You could see the pictures of Peter and Gwen from the yearbook being projected as the announcer had started speaking.

You felt the envy spread throughout your body, it was stupid but you couldn't control it. Your jaw had clenched, so much so your friend put their hand on your shoulder, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Y/N? What's your problem?" Their eyebrows furrowed, as they tried to discreetly look at Austin. He knew about the nominations, your friend had convinced him to keep it a secret. They thought it'd be a nice suprise for your senior year, but you never liked the spotlight. It's why you haven't revealed that you and Peter are dating, meanwhile there was nothing more in the world that he wanted to do than show you off to the whole school. Your friend waited for your answer, but you were lost in thought, watching Peter from afar.

"Huh? Oh it's nothing, um just a headache I guess," You replied, before you practically jumped out of your skin when you heard your name and Austin's name was announced, heard all around the stadium. The picture of you two was you and Austin talking during a break at a football game, but what you didn't notice was the lovestruck look on his face. Peter noticed, he's been noticing since you guys started dating, and he hated it.

Peter had a class with him once, and he found him annoying. Was Peter biased? No, of course not, why would he be? It's not like the kid was in love with his girlfriend or anything. It had irked him so much how he couldn't go up and kiss you like the world was ending, all because you didn't want to deal with the backlash of dating the school's quarterback. He understood of course, but he loved you so much and all he wanted to do was show you off.

The camera had practically put the camera in front of you and Austin's face, the look of surprise evident on yours. You heard the whole band from behind cheering as Austin put his arm around you, and smiled down at you.

He practically shouted in your ear, “C’mon! Cheer up! This is supposed to be fun!" You laughed nervously, trying to keep your unease at bay, at least while the camera was pointed at you two. Luckily for you, the camera man walked away, intending to find the next homecoming couple. You moved yourself out from underneath Austin's arm and walked away from him and your friend.

It was lucky that the band didn't have to be back for another 15 minutes and that Peter saw you walking away from them. He followed after in a safe distance, so that there wouldn't be any suspicion, he knew he should be in the locker room, but he knew you were upset and he couldn't give a damn about anyone else in this moment. You found a little hiding spot in freshman year in the stadium and any time you needed a moment to yourself during a game, you’d escape there.

“Y/N, babe? What’s wrong?” He frowned, as he looked down at you, reaching for you. You melted into his arms, allowing yourself one moment in public with him.

"I didn't know I was nominated for it," You mumbled into his chest, scrunching your nose slightly as his jersey was sweaty. He hugged you a little tighter before Peter let go and looked into your e/c eyes.

"Babe, it won't be that bad ok? You are an amazing person and I love you." He reassured, kissing your cheek before running back to the locker room. He could care less if his coach was mad, all he cared about was you.

You smiled sweetly as he walked away, taking a deep breath before walking back to the band bleachers. Your friends breathed a sigh of relief as they saw you walk up.

"Where were you? We turned around for one second and you were gone! And you didn't come back for five minutes!" Your friend whisper shouted as you walked up the bleachers. You ignored them, walking back to your spot ignoring them. You were pissed, you didn't even know about it and now you had to do all this extra stuff for homecoming that you didn't want to! All you wanted to do was go with your friends and watch Peter from a distance.

They didn't understand, it was the whole reason your relationship with Peter was a secret, you hated attention! And now you had to do all this extra stuff for Homecoming now, though you would be able to spend more time with Peter or at least be in his presence.

[pastanest]

A/N: I’m really sorry but read-more links aren’t working on my blog atm, I’ve raised a ticket with Tumblr and they’ve registered it as a bug that they’re looking into but for now I can’t use them because they mess up the whole post :(

Eleventh Doctor x gender!neutral reader

Dating Eleven Would Include

so to begin with, he’d be awkward and clumsy as per usual

over time he gets more accustomed to the blossoming feelings for you and relaxes into them, being more open to flirting back

PDA comes so naturally to him he consistently catches himself out when he becomes aware of the fact he’s holding your hand, swung an arm around you or pulled you in for a hug on instinct

the Doctor is always going out of his way to do sweet things for you

he remembers every place you’ve referenced wanting to visit, every favorite food you’ve mentioned, every dream date idea that he has pried out of you with the least subtle questions and motivations you can imagine

and he uses all of that information to his advantage, regularly planning said dates out for you in the most beautiful places in the universe

a regular picnic? nono, not on the Doctor’s watch. we’re talking planets entirely made of meadows, as far as the eye can see, inhabited by sentient orbs of light that exist in complete peace and harmony, floating around amongst the flowers and creating a field of stars every time the seven sun’s set

a date at the cinema? try the biggest cinema screen in the universe that you have to sit 50 feet away from, with special goggles just to protect your eyes from the power of the light from the screen. 

“And it’s not just the screen that’s big, it’s the highest quality speakers ever invented, and they are completely invisible! 4D sound systems? Not here, 8D AND UP ONLY BABY! That does mean that if we see any movie with freak weather patterns, we may have to bring several changes of clothes to suit the climates they simulate around our seats. Which are levitating in total darkness. So we will also need a very powerful torch to find our seats. Which I have already invented, naturally. It plays tense music whenever it’s switched on.”

“That’s a lot to process, but I am stuck on the torch - why did you add tense music as a feature?”

“For dramatic effect, why else?!”

he’s fiercely protective of you 

we all know the look in his eyes when the Daleks rock up, the fury that burns when he recalls anything regarding the Time War; that’s the same expression that greets anyone or anything that causes you harm in any way whatsoever

he’s almost scared to admit that he’d tear a planet apart to find you, save you, fix any harm that has been done to you, if that is what it cost

whether you are with him through his regeneration into 11 or not, you show him parts of his personality that have been hidden for hundreds and hundreds of years, feelings he never thought he would be lucky enough to find again

and it terrifies him, of course, to consider what he lost in those feelings before, how he could lose you in a new, more painful way 

but you reassure him

with every hold of your hand, every bright smile, every hug, every laugh at one of his silly lines, every kiss, every whisper in the dark when he lies with you until you fall asleep in his arms, you comfort the Doctor that no matter what happens, you will find your way back to each other

you, the Doctor and River Song are absolutely in a three-way marriage

River flirts with you more than the Doctor and he’ll sulk about it

“Honestly, what’s the point in me being here?! Should I drop you two off on an isolated moon to engage in your…shenanigans?! Ooh, ‘shenanigans’, now that’s a good word, I should use it more often!”

you and River both know him so well and share your frustrations over his occasional idiocies the girl’s that get it, y’know?

picture this: the Doctor being so excited to see River but she just runs past him and straight to you because the two of you have orchestrated sleepovers in the TARDIS and routinely fail to let the Doctor know ahead of time iconic

the two of you never make it official, but it is understood on both sides that you are in a relationship and nothing will break that bond

and you are the happiest couple in this universe, and every other

[thatonebirdwrites]

Soft ask game: 1, 2 and 3 please 🙂

What song makes you feel better?

KEiiNO for the win! They're a lovely Norwegian-Saami band. I'm still sad they weren't picked to represent Norway in Eurovision (yeah, they'd represented in a prior Eurovision with Spirit in the Sky but I really think Monument could have gotten in top 3). As a side note, my paternal Grandma was Norwegian-Saami, so it's why this band holds a special place in my heart.

They're known for partnering with Indigenous singers and bands to help with exposure, sales, and lift up the their concerns to wider audiences.

Fun facts: Fred is speaking in Northern Saami by the way. The "Hao-loo-laa" Fred does is known as a "Yoik" which is a specific Saami singing style that's similar to yodeling. In Monument, Fred doesn't do a full Yoik but the apex of one. In Spirit in the Sky, you can listen to the full Yoik.

In case you were wondering, the following is the one KEiiNO did for Eurovision in 2019. The Yoik starts at 2 minutes, and that steady build up is the full Yoik. It gives me chills every time.

2. What is your go to comfort show?

It depends. When I'm feeling ill, it's Ms. Marvel or The Legend of Korra for the most part.

Sometimes I'll play Supergirl (I skip all Mon-el scenes and scenes where mostly men are talking since I'm watching for comfort not to annoy myself).

Other times I'll turn on one of these movies (if I'm ill, I tend toward musicals): Mulan, Prince of Eygpt, Anastasia, Arrival, Interstellar, Sound of Music, Star Trek: the Voyage Home, or Star Wars (either with Leia, Luke, and Han or the first two of Rey and Finn's Saga).

3. Reading or writing? Why?

I've been writing since first grade. I'm also an avid reader, but you're more likely to catch me writing. Writing was my escape. I grew up in a HUGE Catholic family -- five sisters and two brothers all from the same parents. My childhood was traumatic, so I'd write to escape. (I'd read to escape too but that was harder to get away with doing since siblings would always interrupt my reading. But if I was writing, they left me alone, assuming I was doing homework or something.)

There's a large plastic tub by my bed that contains my journals from first grade to today. It's so heavy that my younger sister grouches at me to separate them into two tubs, but I never do.

I wrote my first novel -- as in more than 100,000 words -- in eighth grade, and it was something silly about a girl saving her best friend from aliens, upon which the two girls lived happily ever after together. Which is pretty gay now that I think about it.

The second novel took place on Elivera, which is a world I created and expanded upon for years. (Still am expanding on that world today. Created a few conlangs for it, and calculated out the physics of the star system just so I could have violet plants). Nearly all my novels star queer characters, even before I knew I was queer myself. Funny that. lol

Most of my original fiction takes place on Elivera (where capitalism never existed) or a post-apocalyptic Earth (where Capitalism died out from climate disasters).

I only started fanfiction writing after I caught Covid and ended up with LongCovid. Brain fog killed my writing. Fanfiction helped me regain it since I didn't have to use up as much brain power to write pre-made characters in pre-made settings.

I hope to return to my original fiction someday soon.

Anyway, thank you so much for asking!!

[delta-orionis]

Tuesday Again No Problem 6/11/24

Listening

I’ve listened to a few songs from Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark before, but I recently decided to give their album Bauhaus Staircase a proper listen. There’s a few songs on there that are extremely catchy, and have a wonderful synth-dance sound.

Anthropocene remains my favorite song on the album. I’d never expect a song about global warming and the extinction of humanity to be so damn catchy.

Evolution of Species is pretty good too:

I still have severe Rain World brainrot, and if I had the patience for it I’d definitely make music videos for it using these two songs. They’re perfect for the way the Ancients ended up wiping out all of the world’s primal fauna by building the iterators and causing Mega Global Warming, and how their bioengineered animals ended up evolving to fit the environment the Ancients left behind.

Watching

Nothing new. Just re-running old Jenny Nicholson videos in the background while I play Rain World. Listening to Jenny make jokes about the Star Wars hotel helps lessen the pain of being eaten by a lizard for the 15th time.

Playing

Rain World expedition, still. I’m actually making pretty good progress on unlocking all of the perks. The game becomes a lot easier when you have a vulture mask and reinforced karma right from the start. I’m also getting better at fighting lizards rather than just running from them.

Making

I answered a couple more asks over on my OC ask blog. I’m having fun over there.

I keep bringing some of my crochet projects to work with me so I can work on them during downtime, but I’ve been consistently too busy. (Although, when it was dead yesterday and I was bored out of my mind I had of course forgotten my crochet at home. Such is fate.)

—

My work hours are going to shift into the summer schedule next week, so I’m about to become a lot busier. I guess I’ll see if that interferes with my Tuesdayposting at all.

[zerolostwalks]

Writer Asks! 11, 15, 30, 49

Thanks agains Ash!! <3 (Long answer is long, so I'll put a read more after the first one. On that note I'll link the question list here: questions for fic writers)

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

I am very partial to Reggie (82 of my 99 fics are tagged with him, granted a lot of those are prompts but STILL. Plus I don't know if it's because other picked up on that too or not but like almost every time I open up prompts Reggie is almost always the top requested character)

I adore adorkable, rays of sunshine. Like I have 3 go to charcter types (two personality based ones, and then dark haired/light eyed characters) and like my wife picked up on Reggie being my fav before I even said anything to her, because he fits 2 out of the three.

It's at the point where if Reggie's Jam(or Now or Never) comes on in the car and the GPS interrupts the song, she just automatically restarts it knowing I'm going to anyway because HOW DARE.

He's a Star Wars fan with musical chops, he's a little airheaded bt he's got a heart of gold. And there is so much you COULD theorize and speculate about his character just because of what's been revealed and how he was played and I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

AAAAAAH! OMG!! but I have so many!!

I love my Supernatural Romance AU's (Feats of Crimson, We Run Together(it may only have the one fic but that is the verse name), Closest to Heaven, and Devil Searching For Redemption)

So those are definitley my top 4 but I don't know if I can rank them beyond that! They're all so good for different reasons!!!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Sink Your Teeth was out of my comfort zone regarding the intimacy. I am bad at writing action and being intimate is a type of action I hadn't really attempted before. (In fact prior to Slices of Summer-Fireworks I hadn't written that much in the way of kissing scenes, I think I'd only written one other kiss before then and it practically amounted to 'and they kissed')

I had a similar issue with I Could be the Monster with the Alex POV section because that one had a lot of action (It originally was supposed to have more and be MUCH more detailed but I think it flows fairly well with how it ended up.)

In each of those cases I struggled and wrote and worried and ended up sharing/posting thinking this will surely be hated/flop because all I could see was all the ways I could improve, or how it was envisioned in my head. And every single time the almost exact opposite happened.

Which just keeps reminding me A: to stop doubting myself, B: it's ok to take risks with my writing(I won't improve otherwise), C: Allowed me to sort of mentally give myself to pursue MORE stories like that.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

Right now I am actively working on a few things atm, The next chapters of While You're in the World, Can't Get You (Out of my Mind), and I'm almost always slowly pecking away at my rulie fake/convenience marriage fic. Here's a few lines from each of those!:

.

R: luke

R: I’m serious

R: if ur not up I’m leaving ur ass

L: you wouldn’t

L: but don’t worry 

L: I’ll be up

Luke was absolutely right, Reggie didn’t leave him behind when he wasn’t awake the next morning. However, the dark haired boy had no qualms against pummeling Luke with a pillow until he did wake up and got dressed. 

.

“That’s a bit of a story.” Luke’s voice sounded over his shoulder, where Julie’s eyes drifted to. Reggie hadn’t thought this part of their plan through. He’d so quickly become accustomed to Luke’s vibrancy he almost entirely forgot he was dead, and very much looked it. 

He braced himself as he watched the shock overtake Julie’s face, at this point he had almost been screaming. Reggie’d also forgotten how much Julie liked to unknowingly defy his expectations. 

“I’m dreaming,” She exhaled as she turned away from Luke and himself.

.

WTF!?

JULES IS THIS YOU?!

Julie squints down at her phone, as a tension pulls inside her chest. The thoughts that had been swarming around her head like a beehive clear away only slightly as she tries to piece together what Flynn is going on about. She clicks the link to the video that was sent and immediately her stomach drops to her feet.

It’s not a very long video nor is it very clear, shaky and obviously taken by someone at a bit of a distance. However, she recognizes the building in the shot, the very same chapel she and Reggie had been at earlier that day-yesterday? What time was it?

Julie doesn’t care about the time soon enough as the video zooms in and focuses on Reggie, his broad smile only briefly obscured by what must be the back of her head, her dark braids falling into cascading curls. Julie forgets how to breathe as her chest collapses in on itself. 

She remembers this exact moment and watches in a sort of distant horror, nausea building in the pit of her stomach, as Reggie laughs before linking arms with her. There is no denying she and Reggie very clearly, very soberly, very deliberately, walk arm in arm into the chapel.

.

[pwblogarchive]

September 2007

September 11, 2007

“folie a duex”

sometimes the planets align

sometimes they dont

its like how part of my childhood was stolen when they took planetary status away from pluto

well be there one day

honestly i dont mind you saying fuck you to me-

when you included the "horse you rode in on"

it kind of went to hell

i am sick- like i cant ever get enough sleep or time or words

as this thing grows i become more and more insecure.

cant look anyone in the eyes-

i am paranoid- worried sick that i am not good enough for anyone who looks at me

i know how ridiculous this sounds

trust me

the new video makes me feel the big black sadness

folie a deux is the idea of shared madness- the scientific term for romeo and juliet

i have a feeling that we share that with eachother when you have your headphones on

currently working on: taking it easy-

dont mean to be so heavy just want you to know why i look so gray sometimes lately.

September 14, 2007

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

that is what our new video is about.

why was every question about 'how bad is britneys performance gonna be' and not about anything that truly matters in this world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

later on we will release a remixed version that includes more of our personal experience in africa.

for now i am content to see the love between these two and the way the civil war that rages around them affects it.

its hard to imagine that they are just like the kids that show up at our shows, only born in a different country...

vintage louis vuitton bags under the eyes

the marlbo-glow

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with YOU and the idea of YOU listeing to the music and singing the words.

i know its weird but i like to imagine what you are thinking when its playing.

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

September 22, 2007

eyes the size of the moon.

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

Posted by xoat 1:35 AM

September 26, 2007

isnt it ironic how "ironic" has no ironies in it

havent slept in days.

think i am starting to crack.

my room is thrashed, covered in matter that doesn't matter and i almost cried while watching garden state- i think its not funny anymore.

sick of watching what genius is.

sometimes genius is being completely ordinary.

when i look up at the sky i want to eat the stars.

its daylight again, everything goes back to being boring.

nothing too much to say. just gonna watch the world spin this

Posted by xoat 1:17 AM

September 28, 2007

i dont know if has been apparent or not but in the past year or so i have become so insecure its insane. it blows my mind everytime i leave the house i feel weird. strange. i feel like everything i do ruins something of my friends or my band or the songs i love. i feel like i am constantly on the defense, like i have to work so hard just to make people not hate me that i am not even myself. i havent been able to look the front row of the crowd in the eyes and hide in the back most of the time because i am so insecure with myself.

but for some reason tonight that all changed. the show tonight i connected. i felt the electricity. the light came back on. it felt so good. thank you to all that were there.

sorry. not trying to be a downer or a "poor me" kind of thing, its just been a weird adventure. it feels good to plug back in. this journal entry was one i wrote a year ago this week when i think i was pretty sure id die at age 27 (glad i didnt):

"i couldnt stay away.

the words are obsession and always have been.

heartache lite. diet love.

i am a catch and release boy.

kind of.

put summer in a pine box.

i went to sleep in june and woke up in the middle of september.

making out on stretchers, getting some in the back of an ambulance.

my hips are dry docked.

love is incidental.

the best verus the rest.

'they wipe their feet on our dreams'.

ive got 27 years hiding in the smile wrinkles of my eyes. the real ones and the fake ones take up the same space in the skin.

noone gives a fuck about eyes that are always leaking.

besides youre just hushing headboards that are always creaking.

its become apparent that there may be no one thinking of you the way i do at this very moment.

were "out of the woods"

but i am in love with the tree i used to lie under.

eyes green with envy or brown and full of shit.

or somewhere in between.

i want this to be a remix of our nighttimes."

the smiles lately have all been real. except sometimes its hard to smile when theres a camera in your fae and your just trying to get through the day. gonna try to fuck up less. nothing poetic about it: maybe things are about to get better, maybe theyre gonna get darker. i am in love with everything that is broken and sometimes i like it that whats broken is in love with me. forever kids are magnets for eachother.

anyway, finally got the chance to catch up on my insomnia and read a bunch of your letters. they keep my head straight when i get it cloudy. thanks for sticking it out with me- not like as some guy on a stage- but as an honest connection. it means alot.

ok back to being negative and pouty.

sleep tight or have a good day.

[pouringmeout]

11/17/22

My Grandpa Shander and I used to visit alone without my mom and dad in the room, or brother and sister, usually Grandma Shander wasn't around either.  In the other room visiting my mom in the kitchen.

I was a loner and writing music and film stars on Instagram and making films and screenplays for YouTube and my hard drive.

Sending out materials and not getting much back.

Toby Kebbell had an agent or manager in London actually reply.  She said if you find a producer or backing we would love to read the screenplay you queried us for.

I never officially found the backers.

I wanted him to play Arc, or ARKMIN in my screenplay I finished in February of 2013, the year after I discovered the writings of the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.  A feature film to be my first movie director job for the cinema about the "Phenomenon of Psychedelics" and other drugs.  In the early drafts Arc had a cocaine problem and gets help.  I ended up changing that as a way to tell young people to not mess around with that stuff.  Cocaine is very bad in my opinion.

So back to what I was writing before about my Grandpa Shander....

Oh yeah, it was not an Anti-Drug movie, the way Full Metal Jacket was supposed to be not a Paths of Glory 2 or another Stanley Kubrick anti-war film.  He wanted to capture the "phenomenon of war," not be a repeat of the World War I Kirk Douglas picture.

So "Arc & Cyl In Skunk Zoo" was about Mushrooms, LSD, Weed, and booze, and going out with friends to a regular spot with free live music, not DJ's or just turntables, but bands who didn't make any money yet doing it.

My Grandpa told me all sorts of stuff when we visited in my early and middle 30's.

He liked seeing me, and everyone else in the family, did not visit as often as I.  My mom and dad were going down to the Heights to visit often.

Once a month or so.

So I recently put on the Irishman, directed by Martin Scorsese and photographed by Rodrigo Prieto, ASC AMC for Netflix.

The woman in the movie that I remembered was I thought "Shandolini" the "mob royalty wife, who was from the same town in Sicily as the Bufalinos, Came over on the Italian Mayflower,"

My great uncle supposedly married an Italian or maybe even a Sicilian mobster before our side of the family told them to go to hell.

We never met Al's side of the family as children, this falling out happened before my dad went to medical school at Loyola, (not University of Notre Dame like the rest of the family, mostly) married my mother and I was even a thought.  

They were angry at us.  My Grandma and Grandpa Shander received a sum of money from the will, earned at a Wood Shop Factory they owned in the Heights after my great Grandfather Otto Shander Junior died in the 80's.

No, I think my Grandpa Shander's (J.R. Otto Shander) brother, my great uncle Al Shander-died in the 80's and we got an old upright ancient piano.  It was dark wood like an off black and not even a dark brown looking thing.  I thought it wouldn't sound good, and I guess my mom said we got it tuned and fixed up.  And I played after lessons every two weeks or so on it.

One of my teachers was just down the road from here, two houses off Sunset Drive, no joke.

I played for my Grandpa when he came to visit from the South Side of Chicago and he sat right next to me. 

"Steven play something for me," he said.

I was like ok Grandpa, this one I don't even have to look at the notes, this one's called "Greensleeves."

I put up the book of songs, opened the page and it was like when I was showing off my free throws or my lay-ups in the driveway to the my neighbor's moms and dads taking out the trash in the 80s.

Hey Mr. Buchanan I can make a three pointer now, watch...

Ok Steve, good job, wow.

Megan home?

No, she's out at the gym.

Oh gymnastics, ok.

Wonder why they call it that Grandpa?  

What's Green-Sleeves?

All the other songs I had to read the notes, the sheet music in front of me, that one I could do without even having my eyes open.

Like I was an expert at this one song, but all the others were harder and needed attention to the dumb fucking treble and bass fucking clef, this shit... 

I was in first grade or second I think, maybe younger.

He was so impressed with my skills as a little boy at the dumb and ugly looking Shander inherited piano.

I don't remember him saying much, but the look on his face was so great, like he loved me, like he saw me doing something he was proud of.

I wasn't going on "His List" for that shit.  

No I was eating all my food off my plate and not wearing a ball-cap at the table, no elbows on table, no cuss words, I was kicking some first grade ass with that stupid fuckin' song!

Wonder what is means?  

Dad?!

Wow, when I fund out about that context, I was like What the Literal Fuck.

Made me shiver and I had the chills like the Boogey Man was back, and Freddie and Jason, the guy from Pet Cemetery 2 (in the window with that drill-bit in the tv preview) and Pinhead were shitting their pants all the fuck over again.

I hated going to piano lessons, but it was like Sunday school, I had to go, no choice, do it Steve, just do it little Shander boy!  

And thank you God I had to go, and thank mom and dad for making me go-you stricter than heck Jesus-Loving-Monkeys.  It really was a blessing in my life you guys-holy shit, thank you.

Usually he was grumpy and very strict and kind of mean, like a pissed off drafted NAVY guy who never got off the aircraft carrier, when the Bomb turned them around in the South Pacific in World War II.

Panama Canal?

Ok Grandpa, not all the stories are coming out today, but they should soon.

I miss you man.  You had your moments of mean comments, but this shit is insane man.  You weren't kidding when you you showed me with your hand and fingers-the width of the glass at Al Capone's apartment complex in your neighborhood as a little boy.  It was extra thick to prevent bullets from the street sweepers or other dangers to their outfit.

Chicago....

I learned music first on that piano.  I do not believe I know the truth about my family secrets for very serious and also very dangerous, reasons and/or details to my safety and literal human body's lifespan.

The family on the other side wanted the money for starting a business, they didn't want to go to get an education.  The will said on my Great Grandpa Shander's wishes, that it was money for school only, College or University, maybe even vocational stuff.

I could be hearing a load of bullshit on this one too.

I doubt that.

My Aunts and Uncles all went to fancy colleges or universities with the money from that will.

I found one of these cocksuckers online, Facebook.com, my family name, and he was a MAGA hat wearin' fool. 

So if my relatives on the Uncle Al Shander side are really all that I think they are, boy are they suspect in this fucking story. 

Maybe not, who knows? 

Mahalo Mother Fucker/ (thank you in Hay-Why, whoever you are...)

I do not fucking love you.

I love my family, my fans, my people on the pen pals service.

Keep your head up you guys, it's fucking cold as a mother fucker and we all don't clear the medical for the Frozen Tundra down there on the Ice, The South Pole Ice....

Means you don't get medically cleared to go there.

The Wilderness Left

[coffeeghoulie]

I'm gonna put myself on blast lmao, this is under the cut bc it got long lol

Thank you for the tag Belle! I'm gonna tag @hypnoneghoul and @ghoultrifle if you guys would like, and anyone else who wants to do this!

One Direction- Creative Enjoyer. They were the first band I ever got into and my first concert, and I was crazy about them. I don't know if any fanfiction of mine still exists, but I for sure remember writing it lmao. It probably would have been on Quotev but I'm too afraid to go look for it lmao. (NEVER MIND I WENT AND LOOKED. MY REAL NAME AND FACE ARE TIED TO THE ACCOUNT WTF WERE YOU THINKING, 13 YEAR OLD ME)

Doctor Who- Creative Enjoyer. This would have been around the same time as 1D, and I know there's a few OC fics of mine floating around Quotev from like ten years ago. I am very much tempted to rewatch all of New Who. I was insane about Ninerose and Tenrose and I kind of want to see if I still am

Marvel- Creative enjoyer. I was a stucky fan, and my first couple of fics on AO3 were Marvel. I did also have an OC named Donnie Noviak at one point.

Steven Universe- Creative Enjoyer. I did a bunch of fanart, and I had a couple gem OCs that I thought were cool. I have a drawing of Stevonnie that I did the linework for, brought my sketchbook to school, and one of my friends who was an art student colored it for me. I'm not certain where that sketchbook went lol.

The Adventure Zone- Creative Enjoyer. TAZ Balance altered my brain chemistry permanently, even though I had gone into it knowing the big plot twist. I relisten to it once a year, it's so good. I wrote a couple one shots for it for a friend's birthday.

Star Wars- Creative Enjoyer. I don't really have much to say about this one lol, I was kind of insane about attempting to "fix" the bad writing of the sequel trilogy and what a disservice it did to my favorite characters.

Dan and Phil- Passive Enjoyer. I don't have much to say except they were foundational in late middle school-early high school. I went to both of their joint stage shows, once as a birthday present. There may or may not be pictures of me with cat whiskers drawn on my face. I still own their plushies.

Fall Out Boy- Creative enjoyer, I did a lot of fanart in high school, and I'm currently in the process of drawing a FOB tattoo based on my favorite song, (Coffee's for Closers), which coincidentally is what my url is a reference to. As much as I love Ghost, this is my favorite band, and they have been for nine years. Their music got me through a lot of rough shit, ngl. (Also idk if this counts as fan art, but I spent like six months making 250 bracelets to hand out at the two concerts I'm going to, one of which is in three days at the time I'm writing this. I'm very excited, I have incredible seats and I hope they play something wild for the surprise songs.)

Stardew Valley- Passive Enjoyer. This is my favorite video game, and I have over 500 hours on steam (one save file, my perfection run, has 200 of those hours), so probably around 600 hours total if you include how much I played it on mobile. I started in high school when I had a chromebook that would not run steam games, so I was mobile only until college and I got a real laptop. The fishing minigame sucked until I got a mouse too, lol. I've spent a lot of time and most of my lunch breaks in the last two weeks playing, because there was just a huge update and I'm going in blind and having so much fun.

Hermitcraft- Passive Enjoyer. I've been watching this server on and off since my senior year of high school. I really like watching people play Minecraft in so many different creative ways? Like, one of the people I watch spent a year and a half creating this giant dungeon minigame complete with custom sounds and levels, and it was insane. They started their tenth season about two months ago, and I am attempting to watch 13 of the 27 creators on the server. We'll see how that goes lol. Also, side tangent, one of the members mispronouncing my twitch username is why I named myself Dottie.

Critical Role- mainly passive, but I have written a oneshot about my favorite characters so I'll count it as creative. This has been how I spend my Thursday nights for about two and a half years, and this year, I actually get an episode of Candela Obscura, their horror rpg show, on my birthday.

Dungeon Meshi- Passive Enjoyer. I binged the anime, and just finished the manga. I was completely hooked by the premise, and the writing is absolutely incredible. I could also go on a tangent about the lore and character design, but I digress lol.

Ghost- Creative Enjoyer. This is the thing I've written the most for, and I think it takes up over half of my total AO3 word count? IDK. I have never been this active in a community, and I'm just so happy to be here. The characters are all super intriguing to me, and especially how the ghouls are technically blank slates, barring their on-stage behavior, it's so interesting to see how different people bring them to life.

𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖙𝖆𝖌 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖊 ✨

I saw this little fandom game thingie on another site and I really liked it, so I decided to bring it over here to tumblr while my apple pen charges. I’m also going to change up the rules. I’m going to list the fandoms I’ve been in, and classify them by:

Passive enjoyer = simply enjoyed it and the fan content made for it OR Creative enjoyer = actively made art, fanfic, cosplay, etc etc etc.

I’m going to tag people here but no pressure if you don’t want to do it! @miasmaghoul @lonelymentality @copiasjuicebox @iamthecomet @thediktatortot Also if you see it and want to do it, feel free.

Game under the cut since mine will be long<3

Harry Potter - creative enjoyer - My very first. This shit was a family affair in my house. I went to watch parties, themed parties. I cosplayed shittily, wrote shitty fanfic, and my walls were plastered floor to ceiling in teen magazine posters. Went to the Exhibition. Every second movie would come out in July so I would pretend it was like a birthday gift to me.

Twilight - creative enjoyer - Jfc. Don’t get me started. I still have my Edward action figure whose now missing both hands. Used to write self insert fanfic on quizzilla.com. RIP you beast of a website

The Walking Dead - passive enjoyer - This was also a family affair. Every sunday we would all gather round our shitty TV for the newest episode. I was more of a liveblogger than anything else. My dad has a bit to this day that ‘Hershel isn’t dead. He’ll be back.’ Yeah, sure dad.

Legend of Zelda - creative enjoyer - For most of my childhood I was passive, only really doodling Twilight Princess stuff sometimes. Then BOTW came out and it all changed.

Lord of the Rings - passive enjoyer - I look at Legolas and Aragorn. That’s enough for me. I don’t need creative works because I just need to look at them.

Marvel (Spider-man and Loki mostly) - creative enjoyer - I’ve been drawing these guys since birth, for better or for worse. MCU can suck my nuts but so can Loki franchise /sex DC (Batman) - creative enjoyer - Batman the Animated series did something bad to me. Now I draw Joker sometimes. Watch out, stay safe out there

Sherlock and Doctor Who - passive enjoyer - I’m putting these two together since I never really made fan art or anything, but I did attend watch parties for both on several occasions.

Supernatural - creative enjoyer - Sighs. Sighs even harder. Somewhere out there, deep in the depths of fanfic.net there’s miles of really really really bad fanfic. Somewhere…. Final Fantasy VII - creative enjoyer - Sighs far more dreamily. My favvvvv my ultimate fav. Sephiroth is my fictional other and LOMF. Many, many arts of him throughout every sketchbook I own. Also some fanfics IIRC.

TF2 - creative enjoyer - I used to draw Medic and Pyro kissing<3

Homestuck - creative enjoyer - War flashbacks. Not only was I a semi-well known fanartist, I was also a semi-well known cosplayer in my city. I was a ‘friendleader’ in my cities Homestuck fangroup and attended events, dances, etc etc etc. I was on a cosplay gif blog here on Tumblr. I ran the second most popular groupchat on MSPARP.com before it was MXRP.com. I had beef with mods. Most of my relationships at that time were forged in the fires of LOHAC. I still see my art of Dave in MCR black parade uniform around sometimes. Dramatical Murder - creative enjoyer - To no ones surprise. Yeah. I like the yaoi dissociation game. Dream Daddy - creative enjoyer - SHOUTOUT DREAM DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Evil priest Joseph lovers rise UP. Didn’t do much, but there’s some art floating around out there.

Voltron: LD - passive enjoyer - Thank GOD I never made anything for this. However, I was active in the kin community so thats a huge L. I also ate uppppp stuff about it and sheith still fucks.

Overwatch - creative enjoyer - Sometimes you’re a Genji main and the world is so so hard for you. That’s how I used to live my life, then I got better.

Final Fantasy XV - creative enjoyer - Second LOMF. My old art blog is stocked full of chocobro content, mostly fanart of the boys and meme redraws. Also used to cosplay Noctis CONSTANTLY! Here’s an old tiktok

The Band Ghost and Sleep Token - creative enjoyer - (((((((: Hi guys

[ladymunson]

Is This Love

Fic summary: Eddie’s band Corroded Coffin is playing a gig at the Metro Club in Chicago, Illinois. You’ve been a fan since you saw them perform at your middle school talent show, around that time you’d developed your crush on Eddie. Unbeknownst to you, Eddie had also been harbouring a secret crush on you for years. Will he finally shoot his shot?

This is my very first one shot, I hope you all enjoy it. Inspired by the Whitesnake song.

Word count: 3521

Warnings: Lots of SMUT, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), mentions of parents fighting, mentions of drinking and smoking, brief mention of fingering

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated, copied or posted to any other platform. Support content creators by reblogging.

You arrive at the club early, you know that the headliners don’t go on until 10pm but you wanted to get there before all the screaming groupies.

You’d dressed in a black mini skirt, a Metallica sleeveless shirt, black leather jacket, fishnets and platform boots. You show that you’re a actual fan and not just there for the gorgeous long haired lead singer and guitarist.

Eddie Munson. Your middle and high school crush. The one you’d never had the courage to act upon. You didn’t avoid Eddie but you tried not to get too close, you were worried that you’d blurt it out one day. You didn’t belong to the Hellfire Club but you weren’t part of the ‘in crowd’ in school either, in fact those were the people who bullied you but you didn’t care. You’d spent your evenings and weekends listening to heavy metal, watching the Star Wars movies and reading fantasy novels.

Eddie was a year ahead of you in school but you ended up graduating the year before he did, as he failed twice. His band had been signed as soon as he’d finally graduated the year after you. You’d moved out of Hawkins straight after graduation, wanting to get away from your parents constant bickering. It didn’t matter much as your mom ended up staying with you at least once a month, and the phone calls made you feel like you’re back at home.

Your apartment wasn’t huge, but you’d saved up enough money from babysitting, tutoring and your job in the bookstore. You were very proud of your place, it was on the outskirts of Chicago so the rent was slightly cheaper. You had to travel into the city for work so you knew the place well. You’ve been waitressing at a diner five days a week during the day, and you tend bar twice at the weekend. You hope to save up enough to start night classes next semester.

You know the security at the bar, having been a regular visitor since you moved to Chicago, so you had no problems getting in. Once inside you went to the bar for a beer and headed to a table where you’d get a great view of the stage. You know Eddie always stood on the left, the right when looking at the stage so you made sure you were in his eye line.

He might not see you due to the lights but if he did, you hoped he’d recognise you. You’d tutored him in English when you were back in school. He’d passed that class but failed to graduate due to failing other classes.

You nursed that beer for an hour before the club started to fill up, you know the bartender Liv as well, having tended bar with her at another location. She sends a fresh beer over with another bartender that you know, Carrie, who isn’t working tonight.

Carrie approaches the table, two bottles of beer in her hands, one of them is your brand.  You look up at her with a cocked eyebrow. “Liv sent you another beer, said you’ve been sitting here alone for like 40 mins. Date stand you up?”

“Nah no date, not in months. Just here to enjoy the music.” You reply, accepting the beer with a smile. “I’ll settle up with Liv at the end of the night.” You clink bottles together and take a drink.

------

Eddie is backstage, smoking a joint and drinking a beer. He can hear the sounds of  Ten Seconds to Love by Motley Crue coming through the speakers, the walls are so thin. He has to be careful about bringing a groupie back here tonight.

He always picked a girl out from the crowd, the ones that looked at him with hearts and dollar signs in their eyes, and would dedicate a song to her. He’d always choose someone who looked like her. Then he’d invite the random girl backstage, to smoke and fool around, so she’d have a story to tell her friends. To make him seem like a real rockstar.

Lately though, he was tired of hook ups that meant nothing, that were forgotten almost as quickly as they happened. Tired of the girls saying his full name as his fingers were inside them. They didn’t know him, not really, they knew his stage persona. The one that’s full of confidence and sex appeal. Behind closed doors, he’s insecure, always thinking he’s not good enough. If he was he would’ve….

“Munson!!” The doors flew open as Gareth and Jeff burst in.

“Jesus H Christ! Are you trying to kill me?!” Eddie clutches his chest.

“Sorry but we had to….” Gareth says.

Jeff butts in, “Stop being such a wuss and tell him already!”

“I was about to but you cut me off…”

“Shut up!” Eddie yells, sick of the bickering that was just getting started. They stop and look at him. “Now… would you ladies like to tell me why you interrupted my pre show blunt?”

They look at each other, Gareth gulps before answering with his eyes on the floor. “Y/N is here.”

The room begins to spin. Either this weed is strong shit, or Eddie is having a panic attack. He hasn’t seen you in two years, since you left Hawkins after graduating. And yet the sound of your name makes him feel as nervous as he did the first time Corroded Coffin played at the talent show in middle school.

“Are you sure?” Eddie looks at both of them.

They nod. “Fuck!”

------

The first band came and went, you feel bad that they were so forgettable. They had some fans in the crowd but you couldn’t even remember their name.

Carrie had stayed with you, not wanting you to be alone. Guys have been giving you the eye all night but you’d not even noticed until Carrie pointed it out.

“What about him? He’s hot.” She says pointing to the guy standing three tables down from you. “He’s been staring at you since he got here.” He was good looking, blonde haired, tall and muscular. He was in a RATT vest and dark jeans, you could see the muscles bulging under his shirt.

“Not interested!” You give her the side eye.

“Okay well… you know that Liv is single?” You turn your head quickly, the serious expression on her face making you break out into a fit of giggles. “What’s funny?”

You can’t speak due to your laughter, Carrie  huffs and pouts, folding her arms across her chest. Your laughter dies down. “I’m sorry Caz, just because I’m not interested in any of these guys doesn’t mean…”

She nods, “I get it y/n, just giving you options.” You smile and thank her as the second opening band start their set.

-------

Eddie pokes his head out of the door that leads to the backstage area to see if he can find you, he doesn’t even need to look very hard. He’d spot you during rush hour at grand central station. His crush having got to the point where he knew every freckle on your face, the shape of your lips, all the various colours in your eyes, the slope of your nose and of course the curves of your body.

The crush he had on you has festered over the years and he thinks it’s now more than a crush. He gazes at you, love in his eyes. You’ve grown your hair out since he last saw you, it looks the perfect length to grab. Eddie curses his mind, it had to go there. He turns back into the backstage area before his semi becomes a full blown erection and he’ll have to go and rub one out in the dingy bathroom.

He ignores the tent in his pants and goes back to the dressing room, relighting his joint and taking a long drag. He worries that seeing you when he’s on stage is gonna affect his playing…

“How do you guys feel about doing a… ballad tonight?” Eddie asks nervously. The guys smirk but say nothing, letting Eddie ramble on. “I mean I know we don’t usually, but you know that y/n is here and I’ve liked her for the longest time so do you think maybe…?” The guys burst into laughter. Eddie hangs his head in defeat.

They see how their laughing has effected him so they stop and look at each other. “What song were you thinking?” His head snaps up.

“You know we’ve jammed and played a few songs off the new Whitesnake album?” They all nod. “I was thinking Is This Love, it says all the things I’m afraid to say.” They all agree to play that song. Eddie has butterflies, he worries that you’ll reject or laugh at him but he tries to stay brave.

-------

The lights go out in the club, except those behind the bar. You feel nerves start to bubble up as the headliners, Corroded Coffin are announced. The crowd goes wild and there’s a loud guitar riff as the lights go on and there’s an explosion as the pyros go off and they break into their first song.

Eddie steps up to the microphone and begins singing, his voice is silky and beautiful. The sound going straight between your legs, you cross your legs to gain some friction. You’re embarrassed about doing it in plain sight but the sight of him and the sound of his voice lights a fire inside you. But no one seems to notice, everyone is too busy mesmerised by the band performing on stage.

The song finishes and there’s a huge round of applause, cheering and screaming. “Wow, now I know what all the hype is about!” Carrie yells over the sound of the crowd, you don’t answer, you simply nod.

“We are Corroded Coffin and here’s one you might know!” Eddie says, and slams his hand down the strings of his guitar and the recognisable opening riff of ‘Master of Puppets’ begins. You almost fall off your chair, you’re wearing a Master of Puppets shirt! Has he seen you already? They play the song flawlessly, you’re on the edge of your seat the whole time and instantly on your feet at the end. Cheering and clapping for them.

“What’s gotten in to you?” Carrie asks as you sit back down.

“Nothing just…” you point to your shirt. “It’s my favourite Metallica song.” Carrie smirks but says nothing. The band play a couple more original songs, you clap and cheer along with everyone else.

-------

“We’d like to slow things down for a moment, to catch our breath before our big finale. This song is dedicated to… y/n.” Eddie says, and the opening chords of the song began, you recognised them instantly. Your breath catches in your throat and tears form behind your eyes. And then Eddie starts singing.

I should’ve known better, than to let you go alone.

It’s times like these, can’t make it on my own. Wasted days, and sleepless nights. I can’t wait to see you again.

I find I spend my time, waiting on your call.

 How can I tell you babe, my back’s against the wall.

I need you by my side, to tell me it’s alright. ‘Cause I don’t think I can take any more.

Is this love, that I’m feeling

Is this the love, that I’ve been searching for

Is this love, or am I dreaming

Is this love, ‘cause it’s really got a hold on me.

“Did he mean you?” Carrie asks as there’s the instrumental after the chorus. You turn to face her but you didn’t need to answer, she could see it written all over your face. “So that’s why you didn’t want me to help you get a date…”

“We went to high school together but I haven’t seen him in two years.” Carrie’s eyes widen. “I guess this means that he had a crush on me too.”  Eddie locks eyes with you and continues singing.

Can’t stop the feeling, I’ve been this way before.

But with you I’ve found the key, to open any door.

I can feel my love for you, growing stronger day by day.

And I can’t wait to see you again, so I can hold you in my arms.

Is this love, that I’m feeling…

--------

When the song is finished, you and Eddie stare at each other. The crowd goes wild. He turns to look at Gareth and nods, Gareth counts in for the final song. You don’t stop staring at Eddie and the way his fingers flow up and down the neck of his guitar, the light shining off his rings.

The song comes to an end and the band thanks the crowd. Eddie looks back towards the boys who grin nod at him, he flashes a grin back and jumps off the stage. Making his way through the screaming crowd, ignoring all the girls who are manhandling him until he gets to you.

He reaches you, grabs your hand and pulls you out of your seat. Your face is flushed as you stand, he flashes that stupid fucking grin at you. The one that used to leave you with damp underwear, and pulls you towards the door.

-------

The air hits you as you get outside, a harsh change compared to the sweat inducing heat inside. Eddie begins to pull you towards his van but you stop him, leaning against the wall outside and reaching inside your jacket for your cigarettes and lighter.

Eddie grabs them from your hand, staring straight into your eyes, breath heaving. He drops them onto the floor and reaches for you, cupping your face and leaning his forehead on yours.

“Five fucking years, not waiting anymore.” Eddie says, brushing his lips against yours. You moan and grab the back of his head, pulling him closer. Your lips part, granting him access. He groans into your mouth as your tongue sweeps along his, taking in his taste. He tastes like beer, whisky and cigarettes. A combination you hadn’t even been aware that was your kryptonite. You let out a moan, your hands tangling in his hair.

He pulls away momentarily, catching his breath and looking around, trying to find a private spot. He spots an alleyway about fifteen yards from where you’re standing, grabs your hand, grins and drags you into the alley.

-------

You’re pushed against the wall and Eddie’s mouth is on yours again, tongues and hands exploring. Your arms are around his neck as he kisses the life out of you. Eddie’s hands grab your thighs and he lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist and locking just above the curve of his ass.

His hands wander underneath your skirt, playing with the gusset of your underwear. “Holy shit y/n! You’re fucking soaked!” Eddie moans into your mouth as you continue kissing. The urgency of your kissing making your teeth clash together. Eddie stops kissing you for a moment and fumbles to find his belt and zipper, finding them after a moment and undoing his pants.

A thought crosses your mind and you lean forward like you’re going to kiss him again, but you instead take his bottom lip between your teeth and nip him gently. You feel his cock twitch under your ass and he growls. He pulls your underwear aside, and lines himself up with your heat, coating himself in your slick.

“You okay with this?” Eddie asks breathlessly. You let out a breathy “yes” and he begins to slide inside you. Your eyes roll back, your mouth opens and you let out a moan as he begins to fill your dripping cunt. Your walls pulsating around him, making him grunt as he continues to slide into you.

‘Jesus he must be fucking huge!’ You think to yourself as he’s still not fully inside you. You revel in the stretch as he bottoms out, completely sheathed in you. You feel… complete, like he’s a part of your that’s been missing all your life.

“You’re so warm and wet, and tight… fuck it’s like you were made just for me!” Eddie moans as he begins to move, sliding through your wetness smoothly. Gliding in and out of your heat like a man possessed. Your hands are in his hair again and you pull his face to yours, kissing him like you’re starved for him. “I’ve waited so fucking long for this y/n.” He groans into your mouth. “It always took every fibre of my being to not bend you over the lunch table and take you right there in the cafeteria.” You grin at the thought.

“Shit!” Eddie’s hips falter. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep going.”

You look around the alley and spot a large crate in the corner and point to it. Eddie turns his head and nods, leaving his cock inside you as he grabs your thighs, holding you up and walks over to the crate. He sits on the edge, pulling himself further on while you’re still on him.

Your knees now on the crate and Eddie in an almost laying position, you grin at him. Leaning down for a quick peck on the lips before your hands press down on his chest and you lift yourself ever so slightly. A strangled sound leaves Eddie’s throat and you smile to yourself.

-------

‘Holy fucking shit! She’s gonna ride me! I never ever thought this would happen our first time.’ Eddie thinks to himself as you lift and lower yourself into him again.

Your wet velvety walls squeezing his rock hard cock, he can’t remember the last time he was this hard. You begin circling your hips and Eddie almost loses his goddamn mind, he’s never known anyone like you. You’re not only caring about your pleasure, but about his too.

Most of the girls that he’d hooked up with backstage have always been his priority, none of them even got him remotely close so he just got them off so they would leave. But you… you were something else!

Variating between circling your hips, rolling them and lifting up and sliding back down on to his cock. He tries to sit up so he can kiss you but you hold him down, winking at him as you move faster.

“Baby… slow down.” Eddie whispers, you stop and look at him. “I want you there with me.” You move your hands off his chest and he sits up, his left hand cupping the back of your head as he covers your mouth with his. His tongue flicking all around as he devours your mouth.

His right hand reaches between you, finding your sensitive bundle of nerves, making shocks flow through you. Eddie can feel the little flutters around his cock, he wants you to cum, to make the memory of how you feel as your walls clench and pulsate around him.

He releases your mouth, and groans out, “come for me baby!”

--------

His words instantly trigger your climax, making you cry out and hold onto Eddie for dear life. You’ve never experienced an orgasm this intense before in your life. It’s the kind that you’ve read about in magazines. The one that makes your eyes roll back, tears flow and your entire body shake all over. You thought those kinds of orgasms were a myth… until now.

-------

Eddie comes with you, but he’d had never had his cock squeezed this tightly before. It’s like your cunt is trying to strangle him and milk him all at the same time, it makes his climax run longer than he’s used to. You hold each other for a while, coming down from your high and trying to catch your breath.

Is this what people mean when they talk about soul mates? Eddie cynical brain is starting to think that may be a very real thing. 

You smile, “that was… something else!” You breathe out.

Eddie looks at you with hooded eyes, “mine now?”

“I’ve always been yours Eddie.” He grins and lifts you off of him, sliding your underwear back into place.

Eddie looks at you and smiles, leaning in to gently brush his lips across yours. He pulls back just enough to touch his forehead to yours. “Marry me?!”

The end

Taglist: @sweetpeapod, @nycbaby21, @b-irock

[httpdabi]

The perfect neighborhood

Genre: Smut, romance

Summary: Your parents and Todoroki’s never got along and everyone knew that. It was a hate on the first sight. So, what else to expect from their children than to hate on each other too, right ?

Word count: 7.6k

Warnings: 18+ (Minors please back off), unprotected sex, public sex, creampie, vaginal fingering, a little bit of praising, dom!Dabi, multiple orgasms.

Imagine,

Warm summer night with a little bit of a warm wind touching your skin. Dark and almost clear sky, fully painted with starts, millions, billions of it, only few of a bit lighter coloured clouds covering some of them. Glass of a nice and expensive wine in you hand as you are concentrated on the small meteor shower they talked about in the news. You saw already three shootings stars, how many will you see till you go to sleep ? How could you possibly miss that ? It’s quiet, the only thing you can hear are the sounds of field crickets.

Yeah, imagine.

Now, let’s go to back to the reality.

It is summer, yeah, but the night ain’t warm, it’s fucking freezing. The wine in your hand is probably the cheapest one from the store. The meteor shower everyone talked about ain’t shit. You expected to see at least one shooting star, but the only thing you saw was a damn airplane, maybe two.. and lastly, instead of calming crickets, all you could hear was loud music and the bass hitting, coming form no one else than Todoroki’s oldest son.

So much about the night you were looking forward to. Maybe you would enjoy it, at least a little bit, but if you were being honest, the music was way too loud. It’s not like Touya did that often, but when he did, he made it sure that the whole neighbourhood has to share the small experience with him.

What you didn’t understand was, why didn’t Enji ever tell him to lower the volume down a bit ? Didn’t it bother him ? Or Rei? She didn’t look like someone who would enjoy the loud music.

Well, that wasn’t really surprising to you. If you think about it, they aren’t much better than he is. As they say. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

The Todoroki family moved in to the house next to yours, shortly after you and your parents did. You will always remember the day when your mother knocked on their door, giving them the cookies she made as a little welcoming gesture, only for Rei to give them back, saying how her husband doesn’t like sweets. You will always remember the look on your mothers face, not understanding if she’s for real.

Well, you could understand your mom, it wouldn’t hurt her if she just accepted them. If you think about it, you would probably accept it, and later on throw it away or whatever, just not to hurt the person who gave them. After all, she has kids, not like they couldn’t eat them. But yeah, it already happened, and the two families never talked after that.

In fact, if they did end up exchanging few words, it wasn’t anything good.

It wasn’t really all about the cookies tho, that was just the beginning. One time your father accidentally knocked their trashcan down, but it was really just an accident, which of course, didn’t look so to Enji, who was screaming and cursing around. The same day, your mother saw Rei throwing some old food over the small fence that was keeping your houses apart.

With that gesture, they declared a war.

Touya in the other hand wasn’t really like them, he actually did try to start a conversation with you few times at the beginning, but the two of you couldn’t even exchange two words and one of your parents would already peek thru the door and call one of you, putting the both of you in your places.

After few tries, both of you gave up, giving each other a small nod as a greeting and nothing more.

You almost smiled to yourself as you heard one of your favourite songs coming from your neighbours home. Sometimes you wished you could actually meet him and have a nice conversation with him. He didn’t really seem like someone who was starving for a good fight.

,, Sweetie, can you please go buy some chicken breasts ?’’ Your mother asked, as you were trying to ignore her, focused on the television screen, sadly the focus long gone as she was repeating her question until you stood up. That woman really knew how to piss you of.

,, Do this, do that.. I can’t sit down.. This ass, i don’t know why i have it’’ you complained loudly, pitying yourself for a moment, before you made your way out to the nearest shop. Well, you tried to look positively e at it, maybe it’s better if you watch the movie sometime later, since your mother was way too loud as always.

Ever since her friend told her about some weird ass local stereo site, she’s been walking around with her bluetooth speaker, annoying the shit out of you with some terrible folks music. Damn the person who got her the speaker.

The moment you got into the store, you thought how it’s not that bad that you got there, in fact, you needed some snacks for yourself, since your brother never heard of the word ‘’sharing’’, eating all the snacks that exist in your house.

Firstly, you made your way toward the meat section, taking your mother off the list and making sure you wont forget chicken breast, well better said, making sure you won’t end up dead at the end of the night. If you forget what she sent you for, she would most likely end up using you as the main ingredient.

Once you found it, you made your way toward the section with snacks and sweets, carrying yourself with it and putting more and more in your basket. Well truth to be told, buying all those snacks was almost useless, since you knew that Keigo will end up eating more than half of it. The only way to hide those sweets from him was putting them in your pillowcase, even tho that dog would be probably able to sniff his way to them.

Noticing that there was only two packs of Cheetos, you hurried toward them as you noticed that someone made their way to probably grab them. Sadly the moment you were about to grab at least one pack, both of them were gone, making your blood boil and once the person that took them turned around, your blood boiled even more.

Touya fucking Todoroki, that hungry piece of shit.

Nodding his head slowly, as you were about to curse him out, he just moved out of your way, walking to the way where the cashier is.

,, Do you really need both of the packs ?’’ You hissed, loud enough for him to hear you, making him stop his movements and turn around to face you once again.

,, Yes.’’ He simply answered, raising his brow.

,, Well, that’s really greedy of you’’ adding, you tried to keep your voice down and calm as possible. That was your favourite snack, and that hungry piece of shit had to get both of the last packs.

,, Yeah, says the one who bought half of the store’’ He said eying your basket. Well, he’s not wrong, but in your Defense the main reason for buying so much was your always hungry brother.

Instead of continuing the discussion, you simply tried to be the bigger and better person, and ignore him. Passing by him and making sure you are the fist one to get to the cashier.

,, Hey, wait’’ you heard your neighbours voice, as you got outside the shop. Pushing your wallet inside your backpack, you turned around to see what the fuck he wants.

,, Here, you can have one’’ Touya said, giving you one of the package. You were both shocked and confused by his sudden change of behaviour, not sure if you should take the small package or not. What if he’s trying to prank you ? What if he’ll take the pack back the moment you try to reach it and make it awkward for you?

Your overthinking came to an end as he pushed the Cheetos bag into your backpack, totally ignoring the conversation you had with your inner self.

,, Thanks I guess?’’ You mumbled, still pretty unsure of the whole situation.

,, Yeah, i thought, if our parents fight, it doesn’t mean we have to. Especially not because of a bag of chips.’’ He smiled, as both of you walked lazily toward your homes.

,, That’s true. But honestly, i was already thinking about ways to sabotage you on your way home, to get that bag’’ you joked, realising that both of you are walking way too slow.

You took your time to take a better look of him, since you weren’t really sure if that will be the last chance to do it. He always looked handsome to you, and now that you could see all of him up close, you knew instantly that he is someone you would definitely thirst over.

The usually seven minutes long walk turned into twenty minutes long one, and with every step you were getting closer to your home, you wished you could spend some time more to talk to him and get lost in his beautiful blue eyes.

,, You know Tomura, don’t you?’’ He asked, as you two stopped one block away from your homes.

,, Yes, why ?’’ You asked him back confused, not sure why he’s mentioning him all of sudden.

,, Well, he kinda has crush on your friend Nejire. So, tomorrow maybe, you two could grab a lunch with us at the break ?’’ He suggested almost excitedly.

,, Sure, but I am honestly not sure if he’s her cup of tea.’’ You said, playing with your fingers, not wanting for his friend to get his hopes up, only to end up heartbroken at the end. But hey, it was a win win situation, for him and for you. His friend could talk to Nejire, and you could talk with your neighbour.

At the end, you and Touya exchanged your numbers before you walked away from him, as he waited till you get home, trying not to make it obvious that the two of you had a nice conversation just few minutes ago.

,, What took you so long ?’’ Your mother asked, as she heard you opening the door. Trying to hide the happiness on your face to avoid the questioning, you explained how you took your time finding the right snacks for yourself.

At the end of the day, you turned on the tv in your bedroom, and decided that it’s time for you to finish the movie you started before your mother interrupted you. The focus you had before was long gone and all that was on your mind was your neighbour.

The two of you didn’t talk much or enough for your taste, but it was something you really wanted to do for a long time, so you were really on cloud nine. That same night you had trouble falling asleep, as you repeated the small conversation you had with him all over again in your head and the fact that you will spend more time with him the next day was making you even happier.

And the first time in in a while, you found yourself excited for the upcoming day on your boring university.

,, I swear to god, if that bitch looks our direction one more time, imma throw hands’’ Nejire complained, as some girls from the class, were clearly gossiping about the two of you, not making it a secret at all.

,, Ah fuck them, they ain’t worth our attention girl’’ You pointed out, making Nejire gasp surprisingly. Usually you were the one always ready for one good discussion, arguing with everyone who looked at you wrongly. But you couldn’t waste your time thinking about them, all you could think of was Touya and the upcoming break.

,, And why are we suddenly spending our time with Shigaraki and Todoroki ? Also, aren’t you in bad terms with him ?’’ Nejire started questioning you, as you opened the message you got from Touya, which was nothing more than his current location.

,, Well, long story short, we had a small chat, and he simply invited us. Don’t know why’’ you said, not being able to find a good enough reason to tell her.

Once the class was done, the two of you packed your things and made your way toward the location he sent you. It was the small cafe two minutes away from your uni. Usually, you and Nejire would spend your time at the lunch room, or library, but you had one and half hour till the next one, so the cafe wasn’t really a bed idea.

After you introduced yourself to Tormua, you sat beside Touya, making Nejire sit beside his friend.

,, What’s up?’’ Shigaraki asked casually, after the two of you ordered your drinks.

,, I wanna go home, that’s up. Not in the mood for the next class’’ Nejire said rolling her eyes playfully.

At the beginning all of you talked, but after short time as you realised that Nejire and Shigaraki are getting their own topic slowly, you decided that it was the best time to find a topic with Touya too.

,, So, how’s Fuyumi? What is she doing ? ‘’ You asked casually, like you were friends since forever with her. Probably a bit stupid of you, since you never exchanged a single word with her.

,, Ah, she found a job not long time ago, in some bakery’’ He answered, probably playing along not wanting to make things awkward.

,, That’s nice’’ nodding your head, you took a sip of your coffee.

,, Yeah, but she quit the next day, with excuse how too many guys are flirting with her and her boyfriend doesn’t like that’’ he added.

,, Well, I didn’t expect that’’ you said honestly, laughing a bit. She didn’t look like someone who’s not taking working seriously in your opinion, but again, you don’t know that girl at all.

,, Apparently the bread is not the only thing that’s hot, when she’s there’’ he laughed, making fun of his sister. Once you heard him say that you almost choked on your drink, as you started laughing loudly.

If you think about it, for some reason you really wanted to meet Touya better. Maybe it’s because your parents were so against it, or maybe because he was always so mysterious ? Before he approached you in the store, never once did he really try to make a conversation with you. Now that you were face to face with him, it really felt weird, if you could say so.

But still, you were more than grateful that you had a chance like that. You were always attracted to him, and you never tried to lie to yourself that you aren’t. Sure, you didn’t talk about him, maybe complain about loud music to your friend or brother, but there was no need for you to mention how handsome you think he is or anything.

,, Imagine how our parents would react if they saw us here ‘’ Touya said, as he placed a cigarette between his lips, smirking lightly at you.

,, Yeah, i don’t even wanna think about that’’ You smiled, as you played with the spoon that was in your cup. It’s not like your parents could do much about it, both of you are adults, but you were pretty sure that they would pretty much try to manipulate you into hating him. You could honestly already imagine them saying how you’re living under their roof, and how you have to listed to what they say.

One and half hour never passed faster in your entire life. The two of you talked like you knew each other your whole life, and not like there was a barrier between you. You already knew what kind of music he likes, but you found out what his favourite games are, what does he do in his free time. Surprisingly you found out that he doesn’t really have such a good relationship with his parents, which you didn’t expect at all. The Todoroki’s family always looked like those from television.

Also at your surprise, Nejire was really chatty with Shigaraki. Usually she’s pretty quiet when she’s around people she doesn’t know, but the conversation they had was never ending, and at the end they even exchanged their numbers.

Second day, and Touya Todoroki was all you could really think about.

Sitting with your family and watching some Disney movie was something you really loved, but that day all you could think of was the small amount of time you spent with Touya in the cafe.

,, Can you bring me the cheese balls please ?’’ Keigo screamed when he noticed that you are going to kitchen. There it goes, the snacks you bought just yesterday were already half way gone.

,, I think i lost sense of smell ‘’ Keigo added when you gave him the pack. The cheese balls usually had the really strong smell, but either way the ones you bought were a bit weaker or he simply caught a cold.

,,well, we didn’t. We can still smell you and the fact that you didn’t take a shower for ages’’ you joked, as you scrolled thru your instagram, not showing much attention to the movie your mother chose.

,, Shut up, i shower daily’’ Keigo pointed, defending himself.

As usual, your parents were the first one to go sleep, saying how work got them tired and leaving you and Keigo on your own.

,, Hey sis, do you know any cute activity for couple? Or places to go ?’’ Keigo asked, focused more on his phone now that your parents went to sleep. You knew that your brother was seeing some girl, but you could never be sure if he’s serious about it or not.

,, Oh yes, yes of course, go to hell’’ you answered with a big smile on your face. ,, ehh, i don’t know, maybe the botanical garden ?’’ You added once you realised that he’s totally serious.

The next few days you didn’t have much contact with Touya. He did greet you at uni, he even sat with you on small smoking breaks. But that was nothing much, and you were thinking about sending him a message few times, but at the end you didn’t want to force yourself on him. If he wanted to reach out, he could, he has your number, so ..

On Thursday you didn’t have any contact with him, and that day you really thought that you should keep your shit together, and not overreact. If you talked it doesn’t mean that he had to befriend you, after all he told you that it was about his friend and Nejire. But all those thoughts flied away on late Friday night when you got a text from him.

From [Dabi]: ,, You awake ? ‘’

It was such a simple message, yet your heart skipped a beat immediately.

To Dabi: ,,Yes, what’s up?’’

You replied not closing the Chatroom. At your surprise he obviously didn’t close it either since the message you sent immediately had the blue sing telling you that he read it, and not even a second after you sent it, the ‘’typing…’’ sign was under his name.

From [Dabi]: ,, Wanna take a walk ?’’

That night, when you got out of the house to meet the guy your parents always told you to stay away from, you realised how down are you for him. Just one message and you found yourself ready to piss your whole family off, as you went against their wishes.

Since the night was kinda warm, you decided to go out in your pyjamas, wearing only an oversized hoodie in case it’s a bit windy outside. Once you got out, Touya was already waiting for you on the street, looking only a bit better than you when it comes to his outfit. At your surprise he greeted you with a hug, locking you between his arms for few seconds.

That same night the two of you were on sitting in the nearest playground until the sun slowly started showing up, giving you a sign that it’s time to part your ways.

,, Are you planning to move out after uni ?’’ He asked. There was so much space on the wooden bench you were sitting on, yet he was sitting so close to you, not even an inch was between your body’s. Since it was getting later, the weather was getting a bit colder, and the feeling of his body being so close to you was helping you warm up a bit.

,, Probably, I wanted to move out this summer, but honestly, I don’t think I would be able to pay the rent even if i find a mini job. You know how high the prices are these days’’ You said, hugging your legs closer to your body as you tried to warm yourself a bit more. Having him so close to you, you almost found yourself lost in the nice smell of his cologne. It wasn’t so strong like some guys like to wear it, but it was so nice.

,, We should move in together. I think we would get along pretty well’’ Touya said, placing his arm around you casually. You weren’t sure what surprised you more, his statement or the arm around your shoulders.

,, That’s easier said as it’s done’’ you simply said, not taking it too serious in the first place.

,, Why ? We can pay the rent half-half and it would be fun. Imagine all the drama with our parents if they find out’’ he said laughing a bit. His talk and everything was so casual, you weren’t really sure if he is joking around or not.

As the two of you were talking, he was pulling you closer and closer into his embrace, and at the end the two of you were sitting on the bench like a couple. He took the excuse of the cold weather to hug you so close to himself and who were you to refuse him ? After all what could you wish for more ? The two of you looked like a couple in love that jumped out of some teenage movie, and you were sure you would spend the upcoming days thinking about it.

You did think about the fact that he might be playing around with you, but you decided just to enjoy in the moment and worry about it later. But if you only knew how much he actually liked being out with you in the middle of the night, and having you in his arms on a fresh summer night, the suspicious thought would probably go always faster than it got in your head.

What you didn’t know is, that Tomura didn’t really have some huge crush on Nejire. It was only Touya’s made up story to spend some time with you.

When he was younger he wanted to talk to you just to piss of his parents, but after short time, thinking about it, he didn’t want tot cause you any trouble. He understood that your parents were like his, if not even worse. As he was growing up, the urge to talk to you was also getting bigger and bigger. Not only because of his parents, it was more because you were getting more beautiful every day. He was 95% sure that you never noticed him lurking around on the uni. Not that he was stalking you or anything, he could form it in better words, he was admiring you. Yes, he was admiring your beauty.

He would visit your instagram from time to time, just checking up if you’ve posted some new selfies, or stories. There were some time’s when he wanted to send you a message, but he was always thinking about how would you take it?!

Once the two of you made your way home, instead of being sleepy, you were all wide awake, focused of the quiet walk and him. The whole way home, you were walking shoulder by shoulder, as he held your hand, hidden inside the pocket of his hoodie.

You didn’t have much inside of your head when you told him that you’re going inside, but he did. He couldn’t just let you go, he couldn’t let a chance like that slip thru his hands. Before you could move away, he placed both of his palms on your cheeks, as he connected his lips with your own. At that moment, he didn’t give a shit if Enji or your father could walk out and see the two of you kissing. Heck, if they did, he wouldn’t break the kiss even if his life depended on it.

Even tho you fall asleep only in the morning, you’ve never slept better. Falling asleep as you repeated everything that happened, and waking up thinking about the same thing.

,, Someone decided to finally wake up’’ your mother pointed out, once she noticed you getting inside the living room wrapped up with your favourite blanket.

,,Morning’’ you greeted your mother, as you put the water to boil, preparing the cup for your coffee.

,, Well, it’s 12:34 pm, not really morning anymore’’ she laughed. Unusually, your mother seemed to be in a really good mood for some reason. Not sure if she realised, but you were too.

That day you were motivated to do everything she asked you, hoping you’ll get a glance of Touya. You even agreed to water the flowers on the balcony. And good thing you agreed to do it, since you got a message from Touya saying how someone is hard working, and asking if you slept well. At the end of the message was a small red heart, which almost made you melt in the moment you saw it.

You weren’t sure where all of that lead to, you weren’t sure if he saw the night the same way you did or not. You were pretty much unsure about everything, but still, you didn’t want to think about it much, deciding it’s the best thing to simply wait and see what will happen.

And good thing you didn’t worry your little head about it, because before you could even tell Nejire about it, Touya had better plans, greeting you with a kiss in front of everyone in the uni. You wished you could see Nejire’s face at that moment, full of questions and shock, trying to understand what is going on. Trying to remember if you ever mentioned to her that you liked him even a bit.

,, What was that about ?’’ Nejire whispered once Touya was greeting Shiggy.

,, I’ll tell you later’’ you whispered back, trying to hide the smile that was way too visible on your face.

After the night at the playground, you were falling for Touya more and more, and even if you tried, you couldn’t hide that. Your behaviour changed drastically, wich made even your brother realise that something is going on.

Every night the two of you would meet, sometimes spending so much time on the small playground, and sometimes going out just for a bit, to see each other if the both of you had to wake up early in the morning. Even going to uni wasn’t so bad anymore, he would come to you on the breaks, bring you a cup of coffee to go, or wait for you after the uni. He didn’t tell you that, but he wanted to show everyone who you belong to, and he did it slowly yet effectively. But hey, there was no need to tell you that, you aren’t stupid, you could notice that and in fact you liked it, a lot.

One day after you were done buying some groceries, Touya saw you in your garden, spraying you with the water as he was washing his car. The smile that was on your face, got lost immediately as both of you saw your mother getting out of your house.

,, What’s up you waste of oxygen?’’ You said sarcastically, hoping your mother would buy it, deciding to ignore you, Touya just continued to wash the car, as your mother took the paper bags from you, giving him an evil side eye. That moment you understood how hard it will be to keep your relationship with Touya a secret, and what will happen when your parents find out. Not even a minute later, you’ve got a message from Touya, telling you how he got the goosebumps from the look on your mother’s face and instead of talking about it, or try to find a solution for it, the two of you laughed it out and decided at what time you should meet that night.

Around 12AM when you thought everyone in the house is sleeping, before you even got out, you were caught in the act, by no one else than your brother.

,, And where are you going ?’’ Keigo asked, biting the apple he just got from the kitchen.

,, Just on a walk, to clear my thoughts’’ You laughed it out, hoping he won’t question you much more.

,, Oh, a walk with Touya ?’’ Your brother wiggled his brows, as he laughed once he saw the shocked look on your face. ,, Don’t worry, i won’t tell mom or dad’’ Keigo added when he noticed how the shocked expression turned into terrified one.

,, You won’t ?’’ You asked surprised. You didn’t really expect of him to be the mature one, and you were pretty sure he was about to blackmail you, yet there he was, acting all grown up.

,, Nope, but you should really tell them yourself and avoid the drama,you know’’ he said, acting all smart. Little did he know that all you felt in that moment, hearing those words, was pure cringe and you didn’t really try to hide it, making a disgusted face as you walked out of the house, leaving your brother on his own. The fuck he feeling like the main character, giving you some wisdom tips, you thought to yourself as you walked to the playground.

Of course, Touya was already there, welcoming you with a warm hug and a kiss. He didn’t need much time to notice the weird look on your face, immediately questioning you, making sure everything is alright.

Sitting on his lap, you told him about Keigo and what happened, as he wrapped his arms around you, caressing you slowly. At one point, you couldn’t even keep your concentration on the conversation you were having with him, since his warm hands were slowly going under your hoodie.

,, Why are you stuttering ?’’ Touya asked, smirking at you widely. He knew very well why you were getting lost, and why you were repeating the same stuff all over again. He found it so adorable, how just a little touch made you so confused, and he had to tease you a bit about it, moving his hands up and down your waist, as he placed gentle kisses around your neck.

,, Am not.. I’m sure.. I’m pretty sure he’ll blackmail me at some point’’ you mumbled, trying to keep focused on your little speech.

,, Doll, you already said that’’ Touya laughed, nuzzling his nose into your neck. Closing your eyes, you smiled, embarrassed since he knew what effect he has on you. Feeling his hot breath brushing your neck made you feel some weird way.

,,Sorry’’ you apologised awkwardly. Touya threw his head back a bit, laughing lightly at your small apology.

,, Ahh, why you gotta be so cute tonight’’ He asked, connecting his lips with yours, not giving you any chance to answer.

He kept kissing you, and honestly, at that point you didn’t even want to talk anymore, all you wanted to do was feel the softness of his lips on yours. Usually you would be careful, and think about anything that could sell you and Touya out, but that night you couldn’t think about it at all. Even if you tried, you couldn’t force yourself to tell him to be careful, you couldn’t tell him to go easy and make sure there are no hickeys left on your neck. In fact, you didn’t give a single shit about hickeys, it was a problem you’ll think about some other time.

His touch was getting steamier, and if you were being honest, you wanted more than just kissing and few touches. He was turning you on, and there was no need to hide that. Placing your hand on the nape of his neck, and the other one over his clothed dick. You weren’t the one to do anything so directly, but being horny like that, there was no need for some subtle touches.

The groan that escaped his mouth was telling you that he liked it, which encouraged you into doing more of it. You couldn’t help but smirk while kissing him, as you started rubbing his clothed dick, not giving a shit if someone might see you or not.

,, Doll, you don’t wanna do this’’ He said in between the kisses. ,, At least not here’’ Touya added, moan escaping his lips as you rubbed his now fully erected dick.

,, I do’’ You answered. Touya didn’t need to hear more from you, in fact, he was almost praying you would giving him that simple and short answer, because he couldn’t hold himself, at all. He didn’t give a single shit about the possibility that someone might catch you. After all, he was pretty sure that no one was awake in your quiet neighbourhood, at fucking 3AM.

His kiss got more aggressive, as he pulled your shorts and panties to the side. Not wasting any time, he started rubbing your clit in circles slowly, as he sucked on your neck, leaving wet love bites all over it. Touya’s fingers pace with your moans, increasing in speed, as you played with his hard cock.

Your breathing gets heavier once two fingers enter your core, going in and out slowly. You catch Touya licking his lips, his eyes getting a darker shade, as he tried to hold himself together. Looking down at your private parts, Touya couldn’t help but to let a deep growl out, his dick almost twitched at the sight of your irritated clit, and your pussy swallowing his fingers.

You nuzzled your head into his neck, squeezing your eyes shut as you released a throaty moan when he started moving his fingers faster, hitting your spot just perfectly. Touya’s blood was boiling as he felt your tight and wet walls squeezing his fingers. He didn’t care that you stopped rubbing his dick, all he wanted was to make you cum all over his fingers. Touya curled his fingers, pumping them into you, as you planted, moaning louder and louder.

He was supposed to tell you to keep quiet, but how could he ? Your moans were like melody to his ears, and at that point he wouldn’t stop even if the whole neighbourhood got out to see what’s happening. He couldn’t help but to thrust his fingers even harder, stretching and preparing you for his dick. You bit his neck as you tried to keep your moans low, orgasm hitting you harder than ever. It felt so good, more amazing than any pleasure you bought yourself. It felt like he knew your body his whole life, like he knew how to move his fingers, and where to touch and kiss you.

A blush was spreading over your cheeks when he moved his fingers that were just a second ago to his mouth, giving them one short lick just to taste you, before he placed his left hand over your jaw, giving you a sign to open your mouth. When you did exactly what he wanted, he placed those two fingers into your mouth.

,, Suck’’ he said, moving his other hand down to your throat once you did what he demanded. He wished he could take a picture of you in that moment, eyes closed with his fingers in your mouth. If he did, he would definitely put it for his wallpaper.

Once he was satisfied, he placed his hands on your ass, giving you a sign to move yourself up a bit, just enough to pull his sweatpants and boxers down.

,, I’ll be gentle’’ he said, positioning his dick right under your core, before he started lowering you down. Touya wanted to simply rip into you so bad, but he gave his best to fight the beast that was trying to take control over him. After all, he knew that there is enough of time for that.

Nodding your head, you hid your face into his neck. A burning sensation took over your cunt, causing the faintest amount of pain. Every inch you took, was getting thicker and thicker, and once the pain was getting bigger you felt like he won’t be able to fit in. Was he so big ? Or was it just because of the pain that you were going thru ? It must have been both.

Looking down, you realised that he’s not even halfway in. He didn’t want to hurt you, pausing every other second letting you adjust to his size .

,, You’re doing so good’’ Touya prised you, placing soft kisses along your jaw. You wanted to get over it, and that’s exactly what you told him, nodding your head when he asked you if you are sure.

You weren’t really mentally prepared for the pain you felt in the moment he pulled you down his length with one move. Kissing you immediately, as he tried to calm you down.

After a minute, when the pain was almost gone, you gave him a nod, giving him a sign to move. Holding you up, Touya started sliding in and out of you. Enjoying the feeling of your walls hugging his dick. He almost closed his eyes, as pleasure took over him, but he forced himself to not do so, finding it more pleasurable to watch your face as you were turning into a moaning mess.

His dick was getting deeper and deeper with every thrust he made. The way he moved made you feel his dick fully inside you, the shape, the veins, the tip, everything, rubbing your walls slowly and hitting your g spot your fingers were never able to reach.

It wasn’t your first time, but the sex you had before was never this intense. It was slow, yet so good, and the fact that someone could catch you was making it even better. You didn’t understand how did he manage it hold your ass up the whole time, moving you exactly how you want.

Placing both of your hands on his shoulders, you started moving on your own, deciding to go a bit faster and he gladly accepted that. Placing his hands on your ass, and meeting your hips with his own, hitting you just perfectly with every move. Closing your eyes shut, you moaned loudly when he started moving his hips much faster than before. You couldn’t really manage to say that you were about to cum, but he felt that. Your walls were getting tighter and tighter, and with just few moves you were left breathless, as orgasm hit you harder than ever before.

Touya gave you a minute to calm down and catch your breath, telling you what a good girl you are and how you did so well for him, but he was not done with you. Not yet. Flipping you over, he made sure you were comfortable enough on the old bench before he entered you again.

,,Tell me if you want me to stop’’ Touya said, placing soft kisses all over your face. Usually if you had sex, you would simply have one round and that’s all, and in that round it was rarely about you, it was all about the guy pleasuring himself, cuming and leaving you without orgasm, or you faking one for his sake.

You weren’t sure if you could take it, but you wanted Touya to cum. So, you gave him a small nod, before he started to roam into you, the slow pace long forgotten as he moved his hips like in one animalistic pace. Pulling his hoodie up, you placed your hands on his back, digging your nails just a little bit with every move he made.

And with every move he made, you felt your body moving a bit. Touya loved the feeling of your walls hugging his dick so nicely, and now that you had your orgasm, they were even wetter than before, letting him slide in and out of you much easier.

Touya’s strong hands kept you steady, as his fingers were digging into the flesh of your hips. He knew that he was rough, but he also knew that you would tell him if it’s too much. He was thrusting into you deep and hard, hammering your cervix with every thrust, hitting your g spot all over again.

,, You are so tight’’ Touya groaned, as you whined, lost in the pleasure he was giving you. The feeling you felt at the moment was telling you that you were so close again, and you couldn’t really bear it. Digging your nails into his back so deep that you almost felt blood beads around the tips of your fingers. But maybe you just imagined it from all the pleasure, you’ll find out later.

,, Don’t close your eyes’’ Touya commands, gripping your jaw hardly as he fucked you harder. You tried to keep your eyes opened, you really did, and every time you would close them, his grip around your jaw would only get stronger. Your view got blurry and your moans got louder as you felt your second orgasm approaching you. Touya also feels it coming, and in that moment all he wants to do is to dump his load deep inside of you, wanting to claim you as his own.

The moment you wrapped your legs around him and moaned his name loudly was when he lost it, fucking you harder if it was even possible. ,, Fuck.. Fuck, you’re mine’’ Touya growled between his teeth, lots in the feeling of your walls getting tighter around his dick once again. After few hard and intense thrusts, he spilled his seed inside of you.

Your whole body started shaking from the orgasm that just hit you, and from the feeling of his seed that was painting your walls white. If it was someone else, you would probably tell them to cum anywhere else, but for some reason, you wanted him to cum inside you. You wanted to feel all of him.

The both of you were panting so hard, trying to catch your breath as he fucked his seed deeper into you. He hoped it won’t leek out of you, since the view might turn him on again, and he was pretty much sure that you weren’t ready for a third round.

,, You ok?’’ He asked you, still buried deep inside you. Nodding your head, you kissed him, closing your eyes as you enjoyed the last moments of the passionate sex the two of you just had. In public, where anyone could see you.

The two of you spend the rest of the night on the old bench, cuddling, talking and laughing about small things. Instead of being embarrassed that you even did it in such a place, all you felt in that moment was the warmth of his hug, and happiness, no regret or shame at all. That night you decided that it would be the best if you somehow tell your parents that the two of you are in relationship. Not sure how to do it, but both of you agreed it was for the best.

,, Anyway, i want to say something’’ You said, as you placed the knife and fork on your plate, done with the food. You could almost feel the cold sweat as the moment was getting closer and closer.

,, Ohhh, don’t wanna miss this’’ Keigo laughed, sitting back when he realised what’s about to happen.

Your parents gave you one confused look, still eating. Your father nodded his head, giving you a sign to continue as he placed the food in his mouth.

,, I have a boyfirend’’ You said, playing with your fingers nervously.

,, Oh sweetie, we know. We noticed’’ your mother said, giving you one sweet smile.

,, Yeah, it’s Touya’’ You said fast, and the smile she had, was replaced with confused look written all over her face.

,, Which Touya exactly ? ‘’ Your dad asked, forgetting to chew the food in his mouth. Before you could even give them a proper answer, a loud knock on the door took all the attention.

Your mother jumped fast, like she was expecting someone, ready to kill anyone on that damn door at the moment. Keigo couldn’t hide the excitement on his face, and you were giving him a begging look, hoping he’ll stand up for you.

,, Hey, just wanted to bring some cupcakes to our ‘’in laws’’ you heard Rei’s voice. Both you and Keigo jumped once you heard your mother screaming ,, YOU WITCH’’. The moment you saw confused Touya, standing between his and your mother, trying to calm the situation, both of you and Keigo laughed loudly.

Laughing long gone once the two women’s started pulling each other’s hair. Holding your mother back, both you and Touya realised that it will be one crazy and fun ride with your parents accepting your relationship.

But you knew very well that none of them could ruin it.

The moment Rei grabbed your mothers hair a bit too hard, pulling the fake extension you spent so much time putting on her head, Keigo started laughing hysterically.

,, Wig, snatched’’ Keigo laughed loudly, holding his stomach instead of his mother.

,, KEIGO’’ both you and Touya screamed, trying to hold your laugh, as your mothers continued to fight like two preteen girlies.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

All in My Head | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends! This was a request from @breakablebarnes, who described this ic idea as "dark and meta", so obviously I'm here for it.

Send me your comments, requests, and / or suggestions! 🥰

Tag list: @beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes@glxwingrxse @psychoticmason @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @lonewolf471 💘

"Your eyes are glowing and I'm holding your hand You ask if I'll run with you up to the edge Hands on my waist and fingers running through hair Well, I know that it's all in my head...

If the stars ain't showing, the whiskey ain't burning Well, I'm still gonna be your girl When we both stop growing and they dig us deep Yeah, I'm still gonna be your girl..."

The light of the sunset had your apartment glowing gold. Bucky's body leaned up against yours, letting you play with his hair while the two of you watched the classic Gene Kelly musical, Singin' in the Rain. As Gene Kelley swept Debbie Reynolds into his arms near the end of You Were Meant for Me, Bucky nuzzled in closer to you. "How have I not taken you dancing yet, sweets?" he asked as he turned to face you. An unexpected chuckle fell from your lips at his question, making him cock his head to the side with confusion.

"Buck, I don't have any idea where- people don't really go dancing anymore. If you go dancing these days, it's at like, a rave or a nightclub" you told him, "I'm sure that's not the kind of dancing you're looking for." A disappointed frown twisted his lips downward and he sighed out a huff. Then, without a word, he was up off of the couch.

He turned off the tv and pushed the coffee table out of the way with no effort at all, creating a makeshift dance floor right in the middle of your living room. He flew across the room to his record player and pulled out his favorite Frank Sinatra record, letting the sweet sound of your favorite Sinatra song, Be Careful, it's My Heart slowly fade in through the crackling and popping of the record.

"May I have this dance, gorgeous?" Bucky asked as he offered you his shiny vibranium hand. A warm sensation took over your cheeks as you accepted his proposal, letting him pull you up off the couch and into his arms. His hand found your waist and yours wrapped around his neck as the two of you began to move with the music. "I don't think anyone's ever asked me to dance before..." you murmured against his chest, making Bucky stop moving completely.

"Oh, doll. That's criminal," Bucky said, clearly disturbed by your confession, "if you were my girl back in the day...I would've taken you dancing every Friday night- would've bribed the band to play a slow one for us". He pulled you tighter against his body and hummed in approval at his favorite sensation: your body pressed against his. "I'm glad I found you now, though..." he continued, "there's no way I ever could've left for the war if you were my girl. Probably would've ended up a draft dodger". The thought of Bucky leaving for the war, being gone from you for so long and in such a dangerous situation, made you press yourself even closer to him. You let your eyes close as you rested your head against his warm chest, listening to his heartbeat and letting it remind you that he was right there with you.

"I would've waited for you, Buck," you murmured against his chest, "I would've written you letters and counted down the days until I got to see you again". Your promise hit Bucky strangely, reminding him that he never would've even gotten the chance to come home to you. He quickly swatted the thought from his mind, instead quietly singing along with the music:

"Remember it's my heart. The heart with which so willingly I part. It's yours to take to keep or break, But please, before you start, Be careful, it's my heart."

He crooned along with Sinatra until the song ended, being replaced with more crackling and popping sounds.

When the warmth of Bucky's body began to fade from your touch, you allowed your eyes to slowly flicker open.

Before you sat your living room-dark, empty, cold. The coffee table sat in its correct position- not shoved out of the way to make room for a dance floor- and there was no record player in the corner. The only light in the room came from the screen of the laptop that sat balanced on your thighs. Your hands remained frozen, poised over the keyboard and ready to type. The flickering of the cursor on your screen drew your attention as you read the last sentence of your fic over again:

"He crooned along with Sinatra until the song ended, being replaced with more crackling and popping sounds".

A sudden ache took root in your chest, filling you with a sense of loss, a sense of loneliness. It had felt so real- you could’ve sworn you were really there with Bucky, slow dancing in your living room. The emptiness you felt at his absence clawed at your heart and ripped it to shreds, leaving you hollow. Not only was this man not in your arms, he wasn’t even real. Something resembling grief took hold of you, as you yearned for the touch of a person you’d never meet. You mourned his smile, his gentle touch, his oceanic eyes, the way he held you close-

Only one thing could take the awful sensation away, and so you let your eyes close once again, diving back into the world in which you were Bucky's girl- the world that was all in your head.

[wormstacheangel]

When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.