#- as their trans siblings to help her. even if you dont like her. do you get that?

[kittytines]

Days this site has gone without suicide baiting a random transfem over a dumb post: 0

* if you don't know what happened don't ask me I don't want to accidentally cause anymore pain with exposure

[elisedonut]

2, 17, and 29 for paperseer :>

- armadilloradio

Do they have a dynamic trope? (enemies to lovers, sunshine x grumpy, etc?)

I wish someone just made like a giant list of these my brain always draws a blank

Falling for an ex's sibling obviously

Childhood crush redux

Clingy/touch starved

Broken/ Also Broken but in a way that makes them feel compelled to help

Frilly/Sophisticated (in terms of like clothes)

What does a relaxing night in look like for them?

Dinner that they make together even though Lavender is more or less a taste tester then a cook because our poor girl just isn't that good but that's ok because she does the clean up and does help cutting stuff

you know eating together and stuff

and then Bath!! but together specifically!

I don't know why but I like the thought of them enjoying it

they can magic the tub bigger so that's no problem and then Percy just washes her hair while they talk about their days

plus it's able to keep Lavender from having to look in the mirror after and run the risk of ruining her night

and then Percy can brush her hair while they keep yapping on like the yappers that they are

(and if this is a trans girl Percy Au they also switch and Lavender brushes her hair for her too)

and then Lavender can do her nightly divination things she does dont ask me what it is i haven't decided yet but it's meant to make her dreams more vivid and easier to read while Percy does his own little activity that has been explicitly banned from being work related so it changes alot puzzle, reading something on his own. writing letters to friends and family small things

and then they finish getting ready for bed

and then they can lay down and cuddle while Percy reads some of the book they've gotten into out loud until they fall asleep <3

What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

hmmm this question is still difficult to answer

i feel like it's a retread but I tend to think most of Percy's partners do fight with him a bit over the other Weasley's it's just more of a question on what direction they lean

like in Lavenders case she's not exactly like liked by them but that also depends on the au too

I like the concept of Molly opening her home to others post war to ignore her trauma and grief and then Lavender ending up staying with Percy because of the noise and such being too much and eventually falling for each other

and that Molly would have a different impression of Lavender then one from a world where Percy and Lavender just kind of ran into each other one day and ended up getting together

and I do think that would make a difference on their fights and where Lavender stands regarding them

but i think the extended family causes issues of in most Percy ships so

I do think they fight over like pizza toppings but that's not really serious and they just split it in half

normally fights get 'won' by them pretty interchangeably

like if it makes her happy to have yet another lamp who is Percy to say no though if it really is hideous he will try to talk her into a different one with a varying success rate

and if Percy keeps pushing Lavender to actually go see her family a few months after the attack she will eventually cave as long as he promises to go with her

[trohpi]

okay heres a list of reasons why regulily makes sense bc i love them so much but every time i talk abt them on any platform other than tumblr ppl are like “ew, regulily is gross” like yall just dont get them the way i do 😤

we know that regulus wasnt like the rest of his family. most purebloods think of house elves as vermin, below even the lowest of wizards, but regulus was kind to them, kinder than he was to most other wizards. he was good at masking to put on that pureblood facade, though, but lily, well, she could see right through it. she was, afterall, “an uncommonly kind person with a habit of seeing the best in others, even when they could not see it themselves”

do yall seriously think that lily evans would have been put off by regulus’ standoffish slytherin demeanor? the woman was best friends with the most standoffish slytherin to ever slytherin. she was one of the few gryffindors who actively befriended slytherins and she likely would have defended regulus against sirius if he ever spoke badly about him in her vicinity, even if they werent friends. thats just the kind of person she is (and we love her all the better for it)

regulus and lily both had complicated relationships with their siblings. both of them were the younger sibling, and both of them were also the sibling preferred by their parents. regulus would understand the grief lily felt over the loss of her close relationship with petunia and lily would understand the betrayed bitterness regulus felt over sirius being happier without him in a way that no one else could. theyd see each other more deeply than anyone else

now ive seen some people (mostly og marauders fans that dislike regulus) say that it makes no sense bc they were on opposite sides of the war at first, but regulus is one of the few death eaters we know of that canonically defected. he literally sacrificed himself trying to stop voldemort, knowing that he would die but accepting it on the off chance that his efforts would eventually help end the war. to act like he was evil is just stupid

and lastly, ive seen some version of “regulily makes no sense! regulus and lily are both gay!” repeated ad nauseam and, well, my question to you is… why cant they be gay together? why limit yourself to the canon cishet normativity when you can have them be bi4bi, or t4t, or nonbinary lesbians, or any other queer relationship you can imagine? like, my personal fav regulily dynamic is lesbian lily and trans girl reg. the options are literally endless. go wild! live out your gay dreams to your hearts content! no one is stopping you!

[toewombs]

Luther hargreeves and loyalty

Number 1: luther hargreevesLuther grew up at number 1 the strongest and sometimes acting as the oldest of the group. He spent most of his life believing he was chosen to be the best witch makes him loyal to his farther as he was given this sense of importance by him. Luther sticks to his loyalty even if he reolises hes loyal to the wrong people because he was done right by them so he must be good in some way.In season one we see Luther defending his father’s parenting methods even after the abuse is pointed out. In fact we see in a flash back that luther was left alone in the mansion showing how he is the only sibling left “you dont have to call me by my number anymore… im the only one left”. All the other sibling left the academy but luther stayed loyal to his farther and to the academy. Luther only gave up on the fact his farther was a good man when he learns the four years on the moon where infact for nothing only so reginald didnt have to face what he had done to the only son who still stayed with him.Upon learning his farther was not the good man he always believed he was he spends time with alison in the day that never was because he new that she was the only one who stood by him all that time even if their relationship was, in my opinion, gross and insest-y she was the only sibling that had been with him after coming back and who told her daughter all about him szo she was who he forces his loyalty on. His loyalyty to alison sticks even after the day was earased becouse he has always been loyal to alison we just needed to see it instenseify in that episode because otherwise there would be no explanation for what he did to vanya.Locking vanya in that cage was an awful thing to do but deep down i can see it came from a good place. He saw someone who he never realy saw as his sister because his farther forced her out of his life hurt alison someone who he loved as a sister and as a partner (ew) so he used the powers he had to force her away again back to a position where she could never hurt his family again.In the final few episodes of season one we see luther help try to save the world even if it was through him attempting to atack vanya this si because he has a loyalty to the world and stems from his loyalty to his farther who molded him to be a superhero to save the world with his powers so he helps his family like its just another mission form his child hoodIn season 2 however luther has been lost in time. Confused he tries to return to what he knows anf find his farther only to be laughed out of the mansion. Luther seems to believe he was abandoned by his siblings and naked a life for himslef untill he was found by five. Lutyher refuses to attempt to save the world after what trying did to him but then he finds alison living near him and finds her married and moved on from him witha new husband and a new life far away from what happened in 2019 and living peacefully. WHen finding out that vanya was near he blames her for everything that happened. He thinks its her fault that he is nolonger needed by alison and goes to kill her but he cannot do it as deep down thats his sister and she is unaware of what happened and who luther is soo she is as innocent as the little boy she was with.In season 3 he falls for solane and she becomes his focas point and the person he is loyal tohe also makes an an effort to show his family they are loved witch can be seen when Viktor comes out as trans and luther offers to throw him a party to celebrate him “luther wants to throw you some big stupid party so you will feel loved”

[shiningcindyz]

YOU DONT HAVE ASKS ON IN YOUR RAMBLE BLOG SO IM PUTTING THE OC ASK GAME HERE

alone + break: Cindy, Oliver, Fritz, and Britney

Yes that’s it but the Cindy gang is invading my brain at the current moment so :3c

CINDY GANG WIN!

hehehe >:]

ALSO I THOUGHT NEW BLOGS WOULD AUTOMATICALLY HAVE ASKS ON WHOOPS LMAOAOAOAO

CINDY

Alone

Cindy isn’t the worse with being alone but definitely isn’t the best, she lets thoughts take over her mind often and the only way to prevent them is to have one of her siblings(preferably Zack and/or Mark) or Corey. She would sometimes try to isolate herself only to find her thoughts get worse and worse so she goes back to Zack and Mark.

Break

She would break down often due to Felix constantly demeaning her. The only ones who knew about Felix were Mark, Zack, and Ben. Though her breakdowns worsened after witnessing Oliver’s death, they would happen close to every day and lasted till the day she died.

OLIVER

Alone

Oliver is used to being alone, as his only friends were Cindy and Fritz. His parents were also away for weeks on end, coming back for a few days only to leave for more weeks. But he always wonders what his life would be like if his parents were around all the time, as he did love him dearly. Even to the point to where excitement of his parents finally coming back got him killed.

Break

Oliver rarely broke down, though there would be times where he would get so jealous of Ben, his emotions would take over and he��d start unknowingly bullying Ben, this calmed down the older he got.

FRITZ

Alone

Cindy, Oliver, and Britney were all Fritz had, as he was an orphan. He cherished the time with all three very much and would do dangerous acts to distract his mind, eventually finding a lot of fun in it.

Break

Oliver was Fritz’s closest friend, Oliver would be the first person Fritz would go to for anything, even when coming out as trans. This was the first time anyone had ever seen Fritz cry, as he was scared of his friends turning away from him. But Oliver comforted him, and even helped Fritz pay for his top surgery. Once Ollie passed, Fritz was never really the same. He became more isolated around his friends and not much is known about him once he’s older.

Britney

Alone

Britney is far from being alone, she is constantly with her family and siblings or in school with her friends, she was considered a popular girl but she didn’t enjoy the attention, she liked her alone time. She liked to talk to herself and even play pretend with herself, but she could rarely do that due to her siblings constantly invading her space.

Break

Britney tends to break down when there is too many people around her, constantly getting stressed when in a crowded place in public or even in her own house if her siblings surround her, Cindy is her only escape as Cindy is a huge comfort to Britney, always feeling calmer in the presence of her.

[mar64ds]

i'm insane I wrote down some of my headcanons for how Sam and Max's lives were like as they grew up. It's long and meaningless

How Sam and Max meet has two possibilities, the 'max beats up a bully for sam' or the ' their families knew each other'. I'm a bigger fan of them meeting through the bully story, but I think it's possible to make it so their families do have some history together. I think some members of their family know each other and maybe sam's parents encouraged sam to go play with the kids of the lagamorph family but sam was probably like 'nah i dont want to, im going to play with my computer'. The friendship just happened one day after the bully incident, they had probably seen each other before at a distance but never really spent time together until that day. They got along perfectly of course.

Sam's parents are sweet and cute and Max does spend more time in Sam's house, but sometimes they go to Max's house which is just full of siblings, but I like to think maybe Max's grandparents also live there and perhaps cousins stay over a lot. Basically a house where a lot happens all the time so it can be fun to hang out there sometimes but not ALL the time. I can see Max's mom being a single mom after divorcing Max's dad not too long ago, which is why Max's cousins visit a lot, cause his aunts and uncles try to come over and help her out when they can. Kind of a crazy household right now, so he stays over at Sam's house more often.

Sam's parents adore Max so they are happy to have him over practically everyday, they think he is funny and are happy to see someone that helps their kid open up more and do more than to stay on his room with his computer.

Sam is still a nerdy kid though, he just has a nerdy friend now. Nerdy for different reasons but they both are the weird lonely nerdy kids on school. Not that it bothers them too much cause they are happy simply being together.

I don't think Sam and Max ever cared about 'popularity' or any preteen/teen drama, I think their whole thing is that they were probably already fighting weird creatures they found on the school's parking lot instead of caring about highschool drama. They were two funny cartoon characters trapped in a regular highschool and no way in hell are you going to make them act like regular human teenagers

Sam probably had crushes on some girls sometimes but never did anything with that, he just thought 'oh that girl is cute' and then never did anything about it cause he is insecure sure but also i don't think he had any motivation to start a relationship, he is too busy fighting creatures on the school's parking lot with max. I think Sam only tried dating when he becomes an adult, but even then those relationships don't last anyway.

Max has always known he is gay before he knew gay people existed, he just didn't understand why a guy is supposed to have a crush on a girl, and he told Sam immediately and they are both very casual about it. Once they become preteen/teens is when they find out what gay people are and they are like 'ooooh' but they still say the 'he doesn't like girls' thing cause they are used to saying that. Maybe he didn't immediately realized he is gay (I see Max as aromantic so maybe he just thought he didn't like anyone) but the whole kissing Sam's cousin made him realize 'oh yeah i am gay' (he is arogay hope this helps).

Max is very openly gay as we all know, but when it comes to Sam, at first he just makes jokes about them being together but never tries to actually be genuine about his feelings. Sam is in denial about being bi, he thinks he is straight mostly cause he doesn't really think about this stuff, so he just assumes he is straight.

I do see Sam as a trans man, I think he might have focused more on his gender than on his romantic attraction, so once he figures out he is a man he just thought 'okay now that im done with gender i guess im straight! no need to question this'

Sam and Max's relationship is a casual but super interesting slow burn inconventional relationship. They don't immediately start dating, it takes so much time, so many sam&max gay compilations before they finally sit down one day and realize hey something gay is going on here. Telltale sam and max for example takes place before they realize, 100%, it's part of the appeal of the telltale games honestly, it's one of the reasons s3 is so heartbreaking and full of metaphors.

I do think there is something very aspec in Sam and Max's relationship and I don't think that goes away when they confess that they are gay for each other, Max is still aromantic, I kind of see Sam as ace and maybe on the aro spectrum too, and I think it's important to them that just because they are together it doesn't mean they have to act differently. They don't have to act like how 'couples do' they can just be themselves but a little gayer this time.

But oh yeah let's go back to their past. Sam went to college for a while, I have no idea for what though, maybe some engineer stuff idk, but it didn't last. Max never went to college, but they had a small apartment together in this period of their life so they never were really apart. One day they stop some evil entity from another dimension like how they usually do sometimes and think 'hey you know what. we COULD turn this into a job.' and that's what they do. maybe they were expecting this to only last a couple of weeks but were surprised that this was actually working out and cops were not stopping them (they tried, but they still got away with it lol). So slowly they began to take it more 'seriously' as in, getting an office, painting their car a different color, things like that.

Those are some of my thoughts- hey this was really long what the hell am I doing

[elliekillsu]

hi! so im 14, and so is my gf (im trans male, shes a trans girl). i have literally searched like a million things for trans girl experiences and ur blog came up so i was wondering how do i make her feel better abt herself? because recently she posted about not feeling femme enough and stuff and she keepssending rlly sad messages then being like "oh i was js dysphoric ignore me" or wtv.

i want to make her happy but idk how bc ive never liked being a girl (obv) so idk what to say to make her feel more like the girl she is. she is post social transition, only my parents, her parents, and our best friend know, so she isnt able to go oout in things w/o feeling insecure and stuff

i let her wear some of my old clothes (dresses and skirts and crop tops and stuff) but idk how much its rlly doing for her

sry if this was long u dont have to answer lol

have a good day/night! <33

Hii! I'm always happy to help someone out, I wanna start with like the 'bad news' just to get it out of the way, you've both found out you're trans around the same time I did which is great I'm proud of you both, but that being said you're both young, I know it's said a lot and it sucks to hear but you have so much time left, I found out about my own identity pre covid and didn't start presenting until end of 2022, and didn't fully socially transition with my family until last year, my point being it is a long stressful journey and it may take time and it will be hard but it's absolutely nothing compared to how long you'll live as yourself. Now I don't know any way to make her feel less dysphoric overall, its something we're stuck with but the obvious can help, routine shaving even just facially really works well, but I would definitely say maybe try do her makeup for her, teach her how or even just buy/give her some stuff to use if she hasn't been trying that already, even a few moments for the first time can help so much. If you can afford it trying out thrift stores or charity shops to find a low cost variety of clothing for her to keep away for herself.

There's no necessarily perfect way to fix dysphoria forever, god knows I still suffer but here i sit titless, unshaven and built and I'm still the happiest I've been in years, it does get better, you hear it over and over it loses its meaning but it will get better I can promise you both that, if I could see myself now when I was your age I would be so fucking happy and I still cant believe any of this is happening, I can promise she'll have the best days of her life but also the worst, its a long journey she's just begun, she isn't alone as long as you're there, along with me and every other one of our siblings. We are all one and we love you <3

I hope this has helped even a little

[buried-stars]

OH LET'S FUCKING GO. goro akechi, amame doi, fuka yamagishi, gyu-hyuk lee, maya fey, mukuro ikusaba :3

yippee!

goro

Sexuality Headcanon: this is a gay man. we all know it to be true. Gender Headcanon: some kind of trans and non-binary swag going on here... A ship I have with said character: eiichi mukuhira because oc/canon isn't dead A BROTP I have with said character: frankly his (potential) friendships with all the PT make me feel insane in one direction or another, but special mention to the sumi goro brotp. i so desperately need more platonic content between them that doesnt have any romance as a backdrop. goro's like "i don't have friends" and sumi says "yeah we're BEST friends :D" A NOTP I have with said character: its so hard to be a goroboy who doesnt like any ship with him. but any of the girls or akira makes me want to start attacking people with hammers A random headcanon: after royal he becomes roommates with annshiho. i love it when lesbians adopt a pathetic little man. shiho is still trying to figure out whether or not he's joking about having killed people (he's not) General Opinion over said character: you know exactly how i feel about him and if i start trying to summarize it here im going to end up with an essay so instead im just gonna glitch out of existence

amame

Sexuality Headcanon: LESBIAN!!!! Gender Headcanon: she/they-isms A ship I have with said character: mamebiki is the only one that could ever matter to me. waaauuuggghhh A BROTP I have with said character: i want to believe her and iris rly are besties. show it to me uchikoshi... A NOTP I have with said character: gen is a father figure to her. fuck you. A random headcanon: AI3 PSYNCER AMAME I KNOW IT TO BE TRUE General Opinion over said character: incredible how she went from being a joke side character in the first game to one of the most interesting and complex characters of all time. i adore her. she did nothing wrong.

fuuka

Sexuality Headcanon: ace lesbian Gender Headcanon: i honestly dont think ive ever thought about it...? A ship I have with said character: funnily enough i don't have one! maybe minako idk A BROTP I have with said character: i think her friendship with yukari is really sweet A NOTP I have with said character: i will never get the appeal of her and natsuki. even in 2017 i was like "why do we want her to date the girl who harassed her to the point that she thought she killed herself" A random headcanon: she carries minako's old earphones in her bag all the time General Opinion over said character: my sweetie <3 she silly. i don't have a ton to say because it's 5:30 in the morning but i like her a lot

gyu-hyuk

Sexuality Headcanon: undoubtedly gay. look at him Gender Headcanon: CANON* he/she. (*it's a typo but i can dream) A ship I have with said character: gyuyoon makes me feel like im trapped inside a salad spinner (affectionate) A BROTP I have with said character: gyu and juyoung... they're so besties A NOTP I have with said character: either of the girls :P honestly i can't see him with anyone besides do-yoon A random headcanon: his eyes are brown those are colour contacts. General Opinion over said character: mr sad eyes sopping wet tragic oarfish id do anything for him. he did a lot wrong but hes still my guy. get him help pronto

maya

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian (do you see a pattern) Gender Headcanon: trans girl :D A ship I have with said character: emamaya my beloved <33 A BROTP I have with said character: phoenix and maya are the fucking blueprint. i adore them so much. siblings of all time A NOTP I have with said character: i mean aside from obvious garbage i am a massive frnmy hater. we all been knew A random headcanon: kurain is a vegetarian village so maya's love of burgers come from them being forbidden at home General Opinion over said character: ive loved her since the day i picked up aa1 way back in 2014. my dear darling

mukuro

Sexuality Headcanon: lesbian of course Gender Headcanon: non-binary <3 A ship I have with said character: gee! i sure wonder! who could i, the person who popularized ikuzono, possibly ship with mukuro? it's a mystery. A BROTP I have with said character: chapter one trio still does something to my brain tbh A NOTP I have with said character: known nk hater since 2015 and this will never change A random headcanon: she's afraid of clowns General Opinion over said character: i just want her to be happy

[thebunniesgrim]

Little ways I'd characterize Millie lol

This is just for fun because Millie is my (in theory) fav character and I love her!

(This is just how I'd do it but you know. not exactly criticism but it can be taken that way i'm just clarifying because this is taged as criticism)

#long post

Ok! So like the big one!

#1

Hair!

Millie's hair in the pilot! she had a little white spot on her hair. I thought it was cute I liked it ok fine loved it!

Peek character design in my not so humble opinion

If Vivs kept her white spot and didn't elaborate in the slightest and keep the imps gendered characteristics. I think it would have quietly shown us Millie and Sally Mae's relationship. It's like a solidarity thing with her sister a little 'hey I support you' moment. Ok here walk with me

So viv said Millie has strong family ties and a sibling rivalry.

We all know Sally Mae is a trans character. What if she gets a little self conscious about her hair because her roots will be white. Sally Mae still lives on her parents farm doing farm stuff she won't be able to keep up with her very often (even more so now that Millie is gone even if we dont know who is older it would still be alot more work with less hands they even hired a barn hand so they clearly needed extra help.) So Millie to would dye her roots or a random part of her hair white so Sally wasn't the only one with white and black hair.

I think that would have been sooo cute

It would have shown her family ties. Also despite how often she and Sally Mae would/still fight or have complications Millie would still have her sisters back no matter how small the token

(I'm not trans. If this doesn't sound like nice as it sounded to me let me know I'll cut this hair part out)

But honestly Sally shouldn't feel self conscious in the slightest she's so hot

She's beauty

She's grace

She's Miss United Wrath

Ok 2!

I wish Viv or who ever is in charge of scenery or backgrounds would give us little things to show Millie's personally like they do with moxxie

for instance Moxxie and Millie's room

Moxxie gets:

A cute little alarm clock with a music note, a flyer for maybe a play or musical. Even his album is mounted on the wall

There's also this poster on Millie's side of the room it looks like a poster for musical but I could be wrong

What does Millie have?

Jack rabbit that's what.

Millie only has knives and a bent lamp (the lamp is in the above picture)

I think t would be so cash money if Millie had something. Like where her knife is in the last image could have been a picture of her family like a small foreshadowing of the character we're going to meet see. Her lamp could have been western themed. even if it was something small like a book on gun maintenance so she could help moxxie with his guns. They could have shown that the lamp was haphazardly taped on or glued together to show her resourcefulness or maybe have patches or Mitch matched fabric on the lamp shade to show she sews or fixed the lamp shade.

Even Moxxie and Millie's coffee cups in seeing stars!

Moxxie get music notes and music sheet lines

While Millie gets hearts! Just hearts!

God! I hate it here!

They had so much opportunity

For instance:

Moxxies cup has Millie's face and things he likes and Millie's cup has Moxxie's face and things she likes or just cups with things they like that don't have the faces.

Maybe even Moxxie's cup is white and pristine while Millie's cup has coffee stains and is chipped or doesn't have a handle maybe

I don't know!

Go to part two for more tumbler only has 10 picture limit >:(

I'm sorry I'm going to talk about clothes and I want to show pictures

[psychiatricwarfare]

i lost my old post saying this so im saying it again.. ahem

NO TRANS PERSON IS MY ENEMY

i dont care if they're transmed/truscum/whatever you wanna call it. i dont care if they think me or my identity is cringe/wrong/a stain on the community. i was there once, i went down that pipeline for years, and it made me deeply unhappy and resentful of other trans people. you feel othered by cis people and retaliate against your trans siblings because you want to believe that cis people will accept you and they would accept you if it weren't for other trans people getting in the way - even though that's not the case.

by forcing transmeds to stay away from us and to 'DNI' all we're doing is pushing them further and further into the echo chamber telling them that they aren't good enough unless they perform transgenderism correctly. it gets exhausting, and you become bitter and angry. you don't understand why other people who are being their authentic selves seem so happy when you're not, and it makes you even more resentful.

the way i managed to crawl out of this pit was through youtubers like contrapoints' old videos about her own trans journey or philosophytube (who, though she had not come out to youtube at the time is and was still trans) making videos about transphobia. it was other trans people who helped me crawl out of this by simply explaining to me why it was okay to just do you. personally, it made me realise that before i had been pulled into this pipeline, i never identified as a "man." i was nonbinary before i was convinced enbies couldn't exist. and now im so much happier being able to be myself.

i want to extend that hand to any transmeds who maybe are starting to question the ideology or are simply tired of being so angry all the time. we are not your enemies, we are all a part of this community and no matter what we need to be there for each other. i can promise that when push comes to shove, transphobes are not going to care that you were trans the "right way", theyre still going to advocate for your death. trans people will be there for you, it'll be the trans community who protects you and stays by your side, and the person to pull you out of the fire might use neopronouns and have a weird gender but does that really matter when they want all of us dead regardless?

trans people are not my enemies. i don't care how much they've aligned themselves with transphobes, when it comes down to it, we have to protect each other. no person left behind.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

i am working through something and i wanted to express it somewhere but it feels too personal to say publicly.. and your blog feels like a safe place to confess things.. I want to go on hrt but am terrified of my mother's reaction. she knows im trans and is a lot more ok with it than she used to be but she still doesn't understand and is really bothered by her own lack of understanding. and my sense is that when my appearance changes from T shes going to hate it and be extremely upset. I'm an adult and I dont want to be controlled by my mother's feelings but due to my family dynamics growing up I have rotated around her feelings my whole life, its not as bad as it used to be but i still feel her feelings are dangerous and painful to me. I have a great support system, im blessed with so many friends and even my older siblings who I wasn't close with have been very supportive of me being trans. I dont need to be scared, materially I will be safe and loved even if my mother hurts me. but still its so terrifying to me. I want to get over this and not feel so dependent on her approval, but at the same time i dont even know if its possible. who can help wanting their mother to love them? or even more than love, because i know she does love me and thats really why its so hard, i want her to approve of me and be happy for me. I dont want the happiness i know i will feel from going on hrt to be ruined by her hating my life choices. my spiritual life is pushing me to take control of my life and bring my internal self and reality into the material, I know i cant keep ignoring my own physical desires and living with dissonance between the internal and external...so im moving towards that and i know i'll get there regardless its just terrifying and i wanted to talk about it.. uhh ya sorry this is so personal and emotional i hope it isnt uncomfortable for you or anyone else to read because i know these are really painful issues for many people. and i don't expect you to have any advice necessarily i know htese are huge issues to work through... i just wanted to express it and put it into the world that i'm working on this. thank you for letting me use your askbox to talk! hope your day is great

thankyou for trusting me with your confession anon <3 its not at all uncomfortable to me for you to confide your feelings.. Does anyone who's transitioned have supportive advice they cld leave for anon in the replies? i dont want to speak on something i havent personally experienced.

One thing i do relate to immensely is having a mother who doesn't try to see you as a unique individual, and becomes very displeased when u act in ways that don't align with her worldview. my mom will straight up tell me i look ugly with pink hair. my mom knows i make music but she's never asked to hear one of my songs. she doesn;t want to know about anything that interests me or my motivations in life. etc etc. and it's that same feeling of like, well, she does Love me i think, but i'll never feel that she truly approves of me. idk what the answer is..in my own life it has lead to me being quite a distant person, and rebellious in nature, i coped with it by purposefully leaning into the parts of me she disapproved of most. but idk if that's been healthy for me.

ultimately, we will disappoint everyone in our lives at one point or another.. Sometimes even when u try ur best to please someone it still doesn't work out. so please dont be too hard on urself <3 One thing im learning to cope with my ocd spirals (usually body dysmorphia or guilt related) is to "zoom out", try and redirect my thoughts to the bigger picture of life, it makes my own problems feel smaller in a way that doesn;t silence or dismiss them, just re-contextualizes them in that moment and makes it feel less imminent & overwhelming. mayb i can talk more about methods and analogies for this sometime.

Hope u can find some peace anon and i'm sure your hopes and dreams will materialize for u if u just keep going & focusing your energy on ur dreams. Stay safe <333 PMD9

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Still in the middle of D3 so no spoilers please!

Edit: I've finished D3, spoilers okay now lol

--

I dont usually make up family headcanons with same-age characters (it leaves myself more room for shipping) but for some reason I came up with three of them here. Okay I just realized the first one theyre not same age but, uh, anyway!

Ryoma is Hiyoko's uncle. I dont have much of an explanation for this. At first I thought it would be a funny idea if Ryoma was Hiyoko's dad but then I realized that Hiyoko's dad goes to all her dance recitals while Ryoma's been in jail for a while, so that makes it kind of impossible. Just a silly idea.

Kazuichi is Kaito's younger cousin (idk what the timeline is for D3 compared to the other games yet, and I know often times this class is headcanoned as younger than the D2 class, but this is all in an au anyway). They're same-voice actor cousins. Kaito gave Kazuichi the idea to build a rocket engine, maybe they watched alien movies together when they were little. Kaito hasn't seen Kazuichi since she was still in her booknerd phase, so Kaito would laugh a lot if you told him that his nervous, fidgety cousin went through a "scary punk phase." Have an idea for a short fanfic where he calls and says he's coming to visit her again and she's mid-transition at this point and unsure about coming out to him - I think he'd be cool with it. He'd possibly confuse trans with drag at first but he would be supportive and say that he's glad to see Kazuichi gain some confidence and self-esteem "even if you're still a bit fidgety" (Kaito that's not from being afraid that's just the adhd). Also Kaito and Zoey get along alright.

Nagito is Kokichi's older brother. (potential ableism trigger warning, also a warning for that sibling dynamic where one kid is neglected for the sick/disabled kid). There's angst potential as well as funny potential. This is more subject to change since there's a lot I still dont know about Kokichi, but from what I can tell he's a manipulative liar always making scenes to get attention and even though some of the fandom says he is "a normal person faking mental illness," I dont buy it. Maybe he's faking something, but he definitely has something too. Not sure if this is a controversial opinion, but I believe that people who fake mental illnesses (to this degree at least) are not neurotypical, it's a cry for help and they do need something, so they shouldn't be brushed off as just "ableist assholes" because there is something going on, though on the flip side it is not the job of other mentally ill people to coddle their feelings when that person is being ableist.

I think Kokichi also went through some trauma, like something happened with his family that made him have to attend court sessions (he said in the first trial that he had to go to trials all the time a long time ago "for his crimes as an Ultimate Supreme Leader" but I think that's Kokichi-talk for "he was a little kid and had to sit in trials for some family drama and the adults constantly blamed him for problems that weren't his fault," which is why he plays up this sort of misbehaving bad kid role). Anyway, my ansty hcs is that Kokichi was neglected because his parents focused on Nagito's illnesses, and that's part of why he acts up to get attention. He has some resentment for that but blames his parents more than Nagito and he and Nagito have the type of sibling relationship where they're sometimes on good terms and sometimes can't stand each other. They've thrown some shade at each other but Kokichi really knows how to piss off Nagito and is not afraid to bring up "hope" to mess with his head (though if anyone else did this they would suffer Kokichi's wrath, as far as he's concerned he's the only one allowed to pick on Nagito). Nagito thinks he goes easy on Kokichi when they fight but he can be petty and sassy back and has a lot of embarrassing dirt on Kokichi. They're the kind of brothers that will pester and argue with each other but they'll bury the dead body for the other no questions asked. And Lord help you if they're in the same courtroom, they could find the dumbest little things to bicker with each other about and filibuster the case, but also Nagito will totally back up Kokichi's lies and vise-versa. Whatever creates bigger hell at the moment for the player. It was a mercy they weren't in the same game.

Anyway, since I haven't finished the game yet there's probably-definitely stuff I dont know about these characters but I got excited to share this with you.

[milkolya]

i feel like oversharing on this fine friday morning abt whats going on in my life. if you read this, thank you 💖 i know we tumblr gays are all going Through It at any given moment, and the solidarity has always helped me cope

(TW suicide) (with details)

last week my grandfather on my mothers side killed himself by jumping out the 12th story window of their apartment building in russia. he'd been fighting esophageal cancer for approximately 4 years. he was 70 years old. he definitely had some issues, some trauma or mental health struggles, you know, SOMETHING, that led him to excessive drinking and smoking for the vast majority of his life. like, he wouldnt have had cancer if he actually took care of himself you know? its his vices / coping mechanisms that caused it. and once he started getting treated, he didnt have it in him to change his lifestyle to make the treatments worth anything.... he continued on drinking and smoking and eating sugar by the spoon (another cause of the cancer is poor diet) and even insisted that he would die if he gave up any of those things. id get in trouble if i used the "alcoholic" word around my family but they were watering down his wine behind his back when my parents visited in 2021. like come on. and even at 70, he still outlived all of his siblings, all of which died from alcoholism related causes afaik. he just... he was clearly suffering, and in classic russian fashion, he kept everything bottled up forever, never made any effort to get better, and one day when sitting down to do his bills he decided you know what, i dont want to do this anymore.

thats what happens when you dont address problems!!!!

obviously its heartbreaking but its also incredibly frustrating for me. i was super suicidal as a teenager and my mother did NOT take it seriously, she told me that it was "normal" and everyone experiences it (including her). now in retrospect i understand that she was trying to help me and comfort me, that that thought must have helped her, but like. its not normal... and its pretty fucked up that ive been suicidal, my mother has been suicidal, and now my grandpa (her dad) killed himself. he fucking killed himself!!!! what the fuck!! and i continue to be the ONLY PERSON in my ENTIRE FAMILY who tries to seek help through medication and therapy and just like, at least fucking acknowledge that we have hereditary fucking issues in the form of trauma and mental illness.... its just a mess.

and of course my mother and grandmothers top concern is What If Hes Not In Heaven. cause suicide is a sin. cause thats what we should be focused on ?!?!? sigkapfilwkflamcnwgkqj . it makes me want to scream.

ive just been surrounded by suicide my whole goddamn life and i wish it would end. my close friend attempted when i was 15 and i had no fucking clue what to do. multiple others i was close to at school were struggling with similar thoughts and urges, including myself. we were all desperately trying to hold eachother together, you know? far too much to handle for a bunch of kids. and then i went to uni, and my new friends there had similar issues, and in 2nd year, one of them did kill themself. they took their fathers gun and they shot themself in the head. and did my mother help me feel better? only until i mentioned suicide. once that was out there, there was ZERO sympathy, just judgement, and dismissal of their struggles. which really, really hurt me. because they were trans, and they couldnt handle how harsh this world is towards us, and obviously i really related to that sentiment.

like, i understand my grandpa too. i dont... i dont blame him personally? i dont even really blame my mother personally, when it comes to these kinds of issues. sometimes i will get mad at her about specific interactions but at the end of the day its russian society that made both of them this way. its so deeply ingrained. i just wish i could have helped my grandpa and i wish i could help my mama now but i cant. i can barely help myself.

and ive had to take time off work because i cant fucking focus and i just keep crying all the time and my brain is a foggy mess. and i dont know how to keep going. when will i feel better? i need to get back to work. will i be able to do that??

when my friend died... well, i call them my friend, but we were not close or anything. they were one of my good friend's roommates. we did talk occasionally and were on friendly terms. it just feels wrong to say "acquaintance" or something like that. i didnt process their death in a very timely manner. its weird but common, i think. about 2 years after it happened i started getting triggered by any content with suicide by gun. surprisingly common in media lol. folks love to hold a gun to their head on tv!! (side note: first movie i ever watched with my now fiancee, it was get out and when the guy shoots himself suddenly at the end i had a full blown fucking meltdown lmaooooooo so embarrassing it was like our 3rd date and the night of our first kiss)

idk why it took 2 years for that to start happening, i guess that was just my processing time. and then it took another two years or so to sort that out in therapy and im finally okay again and i can watch stuff with guns and suicide and not freak out. but now im scared of how this thing with my grandpa is going to affect me and how long thats going to last. i just want some peace and quiet :(

if u read all that, thank u. maybe give this a like to let me know. ive been deleting my vent posts a lot lately so idk if i will keep this up. my friends have been lovely and supportive, theres just not much anyone can really say to make it better. so it feels more comfortable to do a massive vent post like this thats optional to engage with. and ive always aired out my personal business on here so it feels right hehe.

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[criffininflight]

I do get it honestly. As a a young trans boy, I could imagine myself in another world where I did belong. But the sad truth that I've take to heart is that the creator would rather see me suffer the rest of my life than bring me happiness. For something that doesnt even affect her.

You dont have to drop your love of the series entirely to support trans people. I can't love it the same anymore, but I'm not you. I don't know how the series helped you and I wont shame you for continuing to enjoy it. All you really need to do to support your trans community is to not purchase anything Harry Potter related in a way where JKR will get a check from it to continue removing the rights of the trans community.

So rather than buying from the officical website or certified store merch, check your local thrift stores! Many people largely got rid of theirs and I know I find at leadt one t shirt for HP everytime I go. Instead of purchasing house themed merch, make your own like by knitting a scarf

The truth is HP will always be a thing. It's out there, it got a lot of attention and a lot of fans! In no sense will we be able to wipe it out completely. In truth, just be kind to your trans siblings if they express discomfort in the series and do not support JKR!

"controversial" take but I absolutely get angry and uncomfortable every time I see something HP related. it's not the series itself it's just the fact it's literally inseparable from jkr who herself is a massive fucking transphobe/transmisognist and made herself the head of that movement. I get wanting to "reclaim it" but is it worth hurting our trans sisters over a generic wizard series.

[kingcunny]

reply @aaronized

wellll okayyyyy…… 👉👈 if you insist……

used one of my fave picrews and screenshots from my ocs pintrest boards so you can get basic appearance + vibes…..

adrian and blair (200X) they share a pintrest board. adrian was molested by family member as a child and never told anyone about it. has an undiagnosed chronic illness. turns to drugs and alcohol to cope. turns around and molests his younger sibling all throughout her childhood. blair eventually comes out to adrian as a trans woman. doesnt come out to their father. names herself after the blair witch. shes bullied all throughout school. anytime she tries to go adrian for help hes strung out. one day dad comes home early and finds adrians jacket thrown over the couch. picks it up and a little baggie of powder falls out of his pocket. dad goes to confront adrian and finds him and (blair) in bed together. tells them to get their shit and get out of his house. while homeless adrian gets very withdrawal sick and forces blair into sex work to provide for them but more importantly his drugs. even after getting his fix adrian cant work bc hes sick :( blair has to take care of him :(. they drift from long stay motel to long stay motel for maybe a year. one day blair is coming back ‘home’ from an appointment with a john when she finds adrian dead from a herion overdose. their room was paid up for a week and she spends that week alternating between lying on adrians lap, dissociating. curled into a corner facing the wall as fsr away from his corpse as she can get, dissociating. and yelling at his body ‘what am i supposed to do now?! what do you want me to do?!’ when time comes for checkout blair panics and tries to kill herself too. but shes (un)fortunately(?) found and wakes up in the er, her estranged father sitting in a chair next to her bed. they havent seen each other since he kicked them out and hasnt seen transitioned blair yet. he tells (her) hes sending (her) to an inpatient facility to get help. no arguments. she asks about adrians funeral. at first dad tries to tell her it wouldnt be ‘appropriate’ for her to attend but after she throws a fit and threatens to kill herself he lets her. but makes her wear a suit and tie up her hair and shes off on a plane early next morning.

noa goderun and her wife hollie (XXXX) (no pintrest… yet?) (they also have twin daughters i havent named yet but they take after noa and theyre the twins from the shining) they both grew up in a cult. noa cant feel anything, physically or emotionally. she develops a fascination with inducing feelings in others that she cant experience. their cult arranges marriages and forces procreation. (hollie is trans) the conception of their twins is the one and only time noa let hollie top. noa terrorizes hollie just to see how she reacts to it. likes to see how hollie walks on eggshells and tries to please her. knowing its an impossibility. (i have this scene in my mind were hollie, at her breaking point asks noa what she did wrong. why noa hates her. noa would be like ???i dont hate you. i enjoy your company. thats worse for hollie) eventually their cult announces a crusade and noa immediately hops on it. shes assigned her own troop and let loose. throughout the crusade noa indulges her fascination and likes to torture nuns to death especially. she sends ‘love letters’ back home to hollie detailing how she tortured a bunch of women to death today. how some of the girls reminded her of hollie. how she took extra time with them. sending hollie locks of hair or finger bones as momentos. their cult eventually looses, badly! and has to sue to peace, running back home. but noa has been winning all her battles and says fuck that and keeps burning churches and killing holy leaders. giving noa up becomes one of their conditions for peace. noa continues to send her love letters to hollie and accidentally reveals her location in one of them. hollie turns noa in and shes ambushed. her troop is killed and noa is publicly executed for her many many crimes. noa goes to hell and makes a deal with the devil to be resurrected, as long as she goes on a new crusade. this time for satan against her former cult. noa asks if that means shell get to kill her wife

shedshy (placeholder name) (present day. present time) scene queen taxidermist. my completely original oc character not based on any preexisting media. spends too much time on sh.ed twt. likes dead and gross things