#*violently shakes him in a blender*

[baalzebufo]

so I very briefly mentioned this au I have in my last gideon doodle post and saw one tag saying to elaborate and thats all the excuse I needed. ok to be honest i didnt need an excuse i was going to talk about it anyway

i had a dream shortly after the stanchurian candidate aired where my brain made up a fake episode of GF to essentially finish gideons 'arc'. and it involved him making a deal with bill to gain demon powers. bill promised him All The Perks, and he was desperate to get outta jail, so he took it.

turns out 'all the perks' involves being trapped in the nightmare dimension without a physical form and, while being tremendously powerful, unable to truly utilize those powers without being summoned. so he sort of just gets condemned to existing as a demon and is desperate to get back into a physical body because, turns out, the human brain is not really.. designed to process that existence for too long. it freaks you out. especially if 'you' happens to be a ten year old who is still afraid of the dark and spends most of their time surrounded by nightmares.

it was weirdly grim and i woke up like 'holy shit. i need to make that an AU' and it developed from there. in the more thought-out version, bill and gideons deal involved him swapping into gideons body to further his plans for a while. he never promised he'd give it BACK, though. it, uh. ended how you'd expect bill possessing a body to end.

'what happened to his eye?' bill thought it'd be funny if it was part of his collectin on gideons 'debt'. hes got one eye, you should have only one of em, too.

honestly I make most of the details up as I go and its mostly an excuse to draw my favourite worst son in various levels of power-thirst and distress. sorry gids even you dont deserve this one

[0vergrowngraveyard]

been writing him a lot….weirdo

[fuckitpossumorb]

Episode 18 of CoS. Clayton Azran what the fuck is wrong with you.

[em-bandaid-boy]

Playing assassins creed isn't enough I need to BE ezio auditore

[thoughtlessgayfrog]

writhing on the floor I have to eat DINNER why do I need to EAT when there are the CHARACTERS I am THINKING ABOUT THEM

AAAAAAASNDDNNNNK

[leveragedlibrarians]

@running-in-the-dark you're right and you should say it

"We're gonna need badges. There are three levels. Each successive level gets you better access."

Leverage S04E09 The Cross My Heart Job.

[milliumizoomi]

armando x black!fem!reader where they get into an argument but it ends all fluffy ? 🙏🏾

𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄

☆彡SUMMARY.; Accusations get thrown around and disrespect as well.

☆彡FEATURED.; ARMANDO ARETAS x BLACK!FEM READER

☆彡TROPE.; ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP

☆彡FORMAT.; ONE SHOT

☆彡GENRE.; ANGST + FLUFF + A TAD BIT SUGGESTIVE

☆彡WARNINGS.; Mature Topics, Mature Language, accusations of infidelity, name calling (bitch), Armando not knowing the weight of his words, fake friends and poorly translated Spanish (Google Translate).

☆彡NOTES.; when I TELLL you I had to shorten this so many times because my mind was running a mile a minute and I was packing so much in here. In the end tho I hope yall enjoy it and tysm for the request bb!!💕

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED😉.

🎧FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE, YOU CAN LISTEN TO SELFISH by PNB ROCK🎧

The shit that is leaving this nigga’s mouth right now is nothing short of absolutely appalling to you right now.

Just 15 minutes ago, you literally just walked into the house and put your purse down on the seat closest to you. You haven’t even had the chance to take your shoes off before you hear your name being called from down the hall by your boyfriend.

“YES BABE?” you called back. He didn’t answer. You rolled your eyes and took your shoes off the walked down to where you heard his voice come from, your bedroom. You walked in and see him laying on your bed shirtless, pants hanging low on his hips and had one hand laying over his face.

Damn he looked good.

“Babe you called me? I just got in” you told him. Still he doesn’t answer. Wordlessly, he moved his hand from his face and looked at you with a weird look on his eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Still nothing.

Now you were getting pissed off. If he didn’t want anything, why’d he call you? You look back at him, waiting for him to say something, anything, and still nothing. He just lays there.

Rolling your eyes, you turn on your heel, ready to leave the room since obviously he doesn’t want anything nor has anything to say.

And surprise surprise, that’s when he speaks.

“I ain’t say you could leave.” His voice is low, and almost.. menacing?

You turn back around and look at him.

“Well you didn’t say anything at all so I thought I should just be on my way.”

Sighing, he gets up from the bed and walks over to you as you watch him.

He stands directly in front of you and then grabs your face with one of his hands and cranes your neck to look at him.

“Who else you fuckin’ hm?” He asks so calmly, raising his eyebrow at you.

Meanwhile, you nearly choke on air.

The fuck was this man talking about?

“Nigga what?”

Which leads you to now.

The sheer audacity of this man to ask you this question, and now give you the silent treatment. He asked the question and when you tried to explain, you were once again met with silence.

Minutes go by as you practically trailed behind him around the whole apartment to ask him what the hell he was talking about. You told him that he’s being ridiculous and continued asking where he even got that idea from.

At this point you’re getting frustrated.

“Armando I don’t know where the fuck you’re getting this from but if you think I cheated on you then I’m telling you I didn’t!” Your voice was hoarse and your chest was tightening by the second.

How could he accuse you of doing something like this?

He looked at you standing in front of him, practically shaking in place and scoffed. “You know if you’re gonna lie about it.. don’t leave evidence behind.. eso es una tontería.” Now you scoff, you can’t believe what you’re hearing right now.

“What fucking evidence?! Where was it huh? Where’d you find it?”

He looks at you unamused then sits up because at this point, he had been sitting on the couch, with his arms resting on his knees and he was hunched over.

He pulls out his phone and throws it on the table in front of you. “Unlock it and see.”

At this point you’re shaking so violently you feel like you’re in a blender packed with ice. You pick up the phone and unlock it and the first thing you see are an assortment of text messages, screenshots and supposed photos with you and other men.

“This isn’t fucking me.” You threw the phone back done, having seen enough. They all looked convincing to the naked eye but you knew you didn’t have anything to do with any other man that wasn’t him.

“Yeah? Then who is it?” He asks condescendingly. He’s staring you down with such disgust in his eyes it makes you want to double over and throw up right there in the living room.

“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!” Your voice is shaky and you feel lightheaded. The only thing you can do now is to sit on the floor, just so you don’t fall over and hit your head, or injure yourself in any other way.

“Where the hell did you even get that bullshit from?” Holding your head in your hand, you didn’t even look up at him. You were beyond anxious and stressed about the whole thing.

He leans back in the couch and manspreads, looking at you looking absolutely distraught and confused on the ground. “¿Y por qué debería decirte perra infiel?”

And at this point, you’ve reached your absolute limit.

“NIGGA WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO?”

Getting up off the floor, you circle the little table separating the both of you and then proceeded to get up in his face.

“Watch your fucking tone with me. You know I don’t like being disrespected and not only are you gonna accuse me of fucking some other nigga, you’re gonna sit up in my house and call me a fucking bitch? Armando are you fucking serious?” At this point you’re crying, pools of tears cascading down your cheeks as you give this man a piece of your mind.

“I am so devoted and in love with you and you treat me like some common fucking street whore that would leave you to fuck other men? You’ve given me the silent treatment and seem convinced that I’d actually do something like this when I’M the one that coordinates and works with your dad for when you get out of jail, I’M the one that cleans all those damn cuts, stabs and scrapes you come back here with, I’M the one that’s up with you all night if you can’t sleep. I cook, I clean, and I take care of you when you need me to and now you’re believing some other motherfucker over me?! And if that wasn’t bad enough, you won’t even tell me who told you all this shit! And then after all that you call me a bitch?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Armando is floored at your outburst. He hears the raw emotion in your voice paired with the look of heartbreak and like you’ve been kicked in the stomach all over your face. As you finish you just sink to the floor, completely and utterly exhausted and defeated.

How could he do this to you.

Even after you’ve said all that, he says nothing.

Absolutely nothing. It’s like his mouth had been wrapped with duct tape multiple times. He didn’t even murmur or whisper anything.

He just sat there.

Your definitive next words are what jump starts his brain again.

“Get out.”

ミ★

It’s been about 2 hours have passed and you’re wrapped up in bed, laying in a ball while, at this point, softly crying. 2 whole hours has gone by and you haven’t moved since Armando left. You haven’t ate, used the bathroom, hell you were still in the clothes you were in earlier when you just got home.

You’ve cried so much your eyes burn and your body feels heavy. To be quite honest you’re mentally and emotionally exhausted. You just want to understand the situation better and put this behind you because if you didn’t, you knew you’d be incapable of doing anything else until you get a grip on your emotions.

And apparently your boyfriend has the same idea.

You heard the front door of your apartment open and close, followed by footsteps. Growing up in a black household, you were already familiar with knowing who it was that was walking down the hallway. So you knew, even before hearing his voice or seeing his face, that’s it was Armando.

He comes straight into your bedroom and stood at the entrance of your room, because the door wasn’t closed. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at your frame laying on the bed facing the way.

You get nervous and tried to steady your breathing.

“Mama?” He called out.

You didn’t answer, why would you when he didn’t give you the same courtesy?

And you guessed he picked up on that because he just continued.

“Lo siento mamá, la cagué.. i shouldn't have said those things but i got so angry when i thought you were..—“ he trails off. He took a deep breath and continued. “I got possessive.. that’s what my dad said anyways.. I uh.. I talked to him about it and he told me I fucked up. I should’ve let you explain and I should have listened to you. I let me not knowing how to deal with this shit hurt you and I ain’t want to be a person to do that to you… I’m sorry baby.. te amo mamá.. mucho.”

You always cursed at yourself, knowing you were too weak to him when you found yourself turning around to face him. He watched as you turned and when he saw your face, he felt terrible. Immediately he reached out to wipe the little tears rolling down your cheeks but stopped himself. He knew in this moment he didn’t have the right to touch you.

He looked at you first, and you looked back at him, silently.

“Babe I’m so sorry.. I ain’t used to talking much but.. I won’t treat you like that again.. prometo.” You sit up slowly as he watches. “Don’t ever call me nothing disrespectful like that again or I promise your father will be digging my nails and teeth out of your chewed up body parts.”

He laughs a little. “Te lo prometo bebe.”

He spent the rest of the night showering you in love. He bought you a bouquet of roses and got your favorite food. He held you on his lap and kissed your tears away, promising you he’ll never do that again and tells you to kill him if he does it again.

Truth be told you don’t know if he meant that literally.

You spent the night laughing and giggling at his attempts to make you feel better. Yes he did hurt you a lot, but you can tell he was genuine about his apology and that made you feel better. You know he doesn’t have much experience with relationships, so you want to learn and grow with him.

Still though, he better not cross that line again.

Afterwards after the situation was settled to a degree, he finally explained the entire situation to you, saying it was apparently one of your so called “friends” that orchestrated the entire thing. She made fake messages, fake call logs, and even went as far as editing those pictures to make it look like you.

The bitch just wanted your man.

And the gag is, Armando didn’t even know who she was, she sent everything to him anonymously. The only reason you knew it was her was because of how she texted the messages, she used phrases that you wouldn’t normally use in messages.

And your slow ass boyfriend didn’t even notice. Men and their lack of attention to detail.

Safe to say both you and Armando were ready to handle her ass. But before that.. he had to handle you🩷.

[GLOSSARY]

“Eso es una tontería” — “that's just dumb shit”

“Lo siento mamá, la cagué..” — “I'm sorry, mama, I fucked up..”

“¿Y por qué debería decirte perra infiel?” — “And why should I tell you a cheating bitch?”

“te amo mamá.. mucho.” — “I love you mama, so much”

“prometo” — “Promise”

“Te lo prometo bebe.” —“I promise you, baby.”

ミ★

{TAGLIST} :: @loakswifesworld @ghettogirly @tinys0ftie @shurisgf @radioloom || if you’d like to be added to the taglist just let me know in comments or dms🤗💕.

ミ★

©2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — MILLIUMIZOOMI. Do not modify, repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any work posted on this blog without my permission.

[houserautha]

lol, just had a thought. Imagine this, okay?

Feyd and his wife haven't been together very long, right? Around a month or two. They aren't too familiar with one another and don't interact with each other very much and when they do, it's either to fuck or put on airs and show everyone that, yes, they are definitely a happy couple and there is nothing wrong with their marriage, you can leave now.

Wifey has met the Harpies, maybe before or after the wedding, doesn't really matter, and they actually get along decently well. One day, wifey and the harps are just chilling and she starts talking about Feyd. She's just all, "He's so fine, I just wanna shake him. Squeeze him until he explodes. Shove him in a blender and drink him. He's so gorgeous." The Harpies are nodding along like, "Yes, yes, we understand the urge well."

Meanwhile, Feyd had accidentally ended up eavesdropping on the conversation and is just... so confused but so hard? His wife has violent and deranged thoughts about him because of how attractive she finds him? I'm certain that man is fully bricked up. Hard as a rock.

Wait I love this so much. This is just a quick snippet of this imagine😂 (also I totally just made up the Harpy names. As a fandom have we decided what they are??)

Not unsurprisingly, it’s a hot, dry day on Giedi Prime and since you’re not required to be anywhere until tonight, you’re lounging in the antechamber of your quarters with the artificial breeze. Draped across a chaise that you’ve grown particularly fond of, you lift your head up to address your company.

“Can I speak freely?”

Valeriya waves a hand. “Of course.”

Out of the three Harpies, Val is the one you’ve grown the closest with but the others are just as amicable. You thought that three women who frequently bedded your husband would see you as competition. Instead, they were perhaps the only people in the Known Universe who understood the attraction of your new husband.

“Do you ever want to just…rip his head off?” Your head falls back again, eyes closing. “Or, like, stab him? Over and over and over? He’s so infuriatingly gorgeous that I just can’t take it. You know?”

“Oh, I know,” Johana says.

The other Harpy, Fidi, adds, “I’ve dreamed about it plenty of times.”

Your feelings towards your husband overwhelmed you in ways that you weren’t capable of handling. Or even inclined to examine too closely. When you saw him, the reaction was so immense that there were times you felt you couldn’t breathe, the air snatched right from your lungs.

“He would probably like it, too,” you muse.

Val laughs, clear like a bell. “Guaranteed.”

Feyd did like it. A significant amount.

He had wandered into your shared quarters with the intent of fucking you, but found the combined voices of you and the Harpies momentarily more intriguing. And shit, was he glad he did.

Clearly you liked him, you were wet before he even touched you. But he had no idea the depths of your attraction, the violent urge that he invokes in you. His cock stirs at your words and Feyd palms himself over his pants, mind racing with images of what he’d do to you the next time that you’re alone.

[the-parable-daily]

Guys, I love Narrator too much. He is my Shayla. I want to put him in a jar and violently shake him about. I want to put him in a microwave, a blender, and a washing machine. I want to get him a cup of tea, some biscuits and a blanket and put him in front of a fireplace. I want to crash a bus into him. I could go on and on.

[whoops-lost-the-ranger]

Have I Ever Mentioned how much I Love Five Pebbles

I want to put him into a blender. I want to drown him in milk and throw him against the wall. I want to shove him in the oven at 900°. I want submerge him in water and lock them in the freezer for a week. I want to shove him into a tubberware container and shake him violently. I want to throw him in a mulch grinder. I want to put him in a deepfryer. I want to shove him in the washing machine. I want to feed him to wild animals. I want to drop him into a river of lava. I want to launch him into orbit without a fire shield. I want to fill his superstructure with such high air pressure that all his neurons pop but specifically save one of them so he doesn't go completely brain dead.

God I love him so much!

[desceros]

Your dredge au is the best thing that has evr happened 2 me . Im gonna put dredge donnie in a blender (affectionately) Ilysm

me, looking at where leo is in a jar so i can shake him violently: see, things Could be worse for you

[mattphobic]

ohhh hes so cute so bouncy i need to put him in a blender and shake it violently

[barrenclan]

IM GOING TO GET SO TITLED AT THE TOWERS /ref

yep!! no change on cootstorm being a piece of shit!! imaging a teen telling u he doesn’t want to date a baby and u decide to stop teaching him. i hope she dies so i can edit her with the grimace shake

the fact that they can see the distant lush prairies but they choose to stay because of their long gone kin sucks???? like not in a bad writing way, but in a i feel bad for these kitties way :(( its not ur fault what happened :(( u shouldn’t live in pain just for the mistakes of a dead cat :((

IS MEADOWKIT GON BE OK?? :((( IM SO HAPPY CORMORANTPAW VISITED BC OF HIS PARENTAL TRAUMA AND STUFF BC NOW HE GETS TO SEE KITS THAT R GONNA BE TREATED LIKE KITS (HOPEFULLY, IF COOTSTORM BACKS UP) BUT… BABEY PLS BE OK.. I KNOW UR NOT GONNA KILL KITS BUT I CAN STILL BE CONCERNED ABOUT THE PARADITE

i want to punch beeface in the face. daffodilpaw has been a blorbo i’ve related to since day once u don’T SAY THAT TO THE ME FR!!!!!! BEEFACE IS GUILT TRIPPING HER ABOUT THE BABIES IM GOING TO BITE HER AND SHAKE HER AROUND AND PUT HER IN A BLENDER!!!!!!!!! AND THE FACT THAT SHE RAISES HER PAW AND DAFFODILPAW IMMEDIATELY COVERS HER FACE SCARES ME BECAUSE THAT IMPLIES THAT SHE IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT BEEFACE WAS GONNA HIT HER WITH IMPLIES THAT THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME AND AGAAGAHAHHAGRRHEAHVAGRJRGRJRJRKSSNNR

slugpelt is best mom omg. she’s redeemed so much she cares about her kids im gonna sob fkejdkd. go kick beeface’s ass!!!!! she cares about her kiddos (daff specifically rn) so muccch. big mama bear ready to throw hands but willing to soften for daffy…

redpelt being able to stand up and diffuse the situation (before slugpelt threw hands) was so cool to see!! she’s trying she’s getting better she wants to help she wants to be a good deputy GRRRR

i want to fistfight plumstripe too actually. the fact that she looked at beeface guilttripping daffodilpaw before narrowly being unable to physically harm her with a smack(?) and then turned to asphodelpaw (the sister of the victim of the situation) and instead of being supportive she just?? used it as a way to better herself?? this is not the time daffodilpaw could have been HURT PHYSICALLY. AND POTENTIALLY COULD HAVE BEEN FOR AWHILE!!! i’m going to put plumstripe in the blender too i’m having plum and bee smoothies

sorry this is a little more chaotic (and violent) than usual. this is a good issue!!!!!! family hug :3

Just your daily confirmation that Cootstorm still sucks! More at 10.

Unfortunately the whole comic is about paying for the mistakes of your ancestors in an eternal cycle of punishment and misery. :( Not fun.

YEAH Beeface is. Not great in this issue. The fact that Daffodilpaw covers her face as Beeface raises her paw... yes, I do think Beeface is the type of person to use corporal punishment from time to time. The kind of "a good smack around the head will get you thinking straight" person. Hopefully Slugpelt being a good mom took away some of that sting, though, I liked writing her in this issue a lot.

Plumstripe's discipline of choice revolves a lot more around subtle emotional manipulation, I don't think she'd ever get her paw dirty with anything more than a shove. But she certainly doesn't make Asphodelpaw feel good about herself much.

NEVER apologize for sharing feelings in your asks. I love them!!

[skeletoninthemelonland]

out of all the fnaf games, which are your favorite animatronics from each one and why?

FNaF 1: Bonnie. I think he's genuinely scary, plus I love bunnies! He also scared Scott in his dreams back when he was developing the game lol

FNaF 2: The Marionette. Love their design sm! though it looks quite simple, works perfectly for me! Love the lore around them too <33 I'd give 'em a blanket if I could. They seem exhausted...

FNaF 3: Springtrap. Because oh. oh my god i'm going to scream. I'll pick him up and put him in a blender. I'll shake him so violently and vehemently. Literally exploding him right now. I want to get near him but can't because he's gonna give the flu plus tetanus if dare to touch him. but dear god I love his voice so much, I will climb on him like he's Mount Everest and claim my place. The stinky bunny man. He's the vilest and most disgusting motherfucker but hell yeah he's still my comfort character and I go to sleep at night imagining he's watching over me in case I can't sleep. He's a bastard but he's my favorite bastard

FNaF 4: Plushtrap. because AHDBAWHDJKSWIOAHEBSDAJDKL

FNaF World: Fredbear. He's so expressive lol and so tiny. Love him very much.

Sister Location: Ballora. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I LVOE HER SO MUCH !!!!! This woman. She is literally so cool. I love her color palette, her voice and her mechanic. Everything about her oh my god SHE IS!!! THE QUEEN !!!!!!!! I think she's scary and has this very iconic vibe. Love it when she sings AND I'M SO SAD WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE HER AGAIN WTF WHY ??? WHY. WHY WOULD-

Pizzeria Simulator: Scrap Baby. I LOVE HER DESIGN SO MUCH GRAAAHHHHH. Gives me The Desolate Hope vibes eheheh

Security Breach: Glamrock Freddy. He's so sweet and I just want to smooch his cheek so bad oh my god <333 I also love his voice, it's very comforting mahsdmhasmd

[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

I don't want to put him in a blender but I do regularly get the urge to treat Aang like a yarn doll and just squeeze him and violently shake him around before throwing him at a wall (Affectionately)

X

[epitheterased-confessions]

I am so obsessed with Sylvie it isn't even funny.

My friends keep calling me a simp but really it's just me hyperfixating really hard I tried to make a cardboard cut out but my printer ran out of toner and I am devastated.

I don't even know why I'm hyperfixating on him so much, if he were real I'd probably wouldn't like him to be honest.

But like he is my blorbo he is my scrungly I want to hold him tenderly in my arms I want to put him in a blender I want to grab him by the shoulders and shake him violently

Sorry for being not normal about this. I know you get weirder anons but I still feel bad.

Have a cookie for your troubles 🍪

mod thinks they knows what you mean. you wanna push him out into the rain and watch him cry before pulling him back in and giving him a blanket and soup, don't you