#*theater kid with a body count except the theater part is actually a really fucked up kind of necromancy (blows a kiss

[sforzesco]

Does Sulla fall into the soldier-lover category like Antony and Pompey? Does Lucullus?

hard no for lucullus, he's in a much sexier category (imo) of being good at paperwork, administrative duties, and taking care of everything war lords and those who are hungry for power and blood don't care about.

as for sulla, I truly do not know enough about him to say one way or another. in my mind, he's filed away in the same space that caligula and nero sometimes overlap in, and also cannibal.

[idga-buck]

Some and Others, 3/?

Earth’s mightiest heroes save the city again, but that’s never the end of the story.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4,301

Content: canon typical violence, death, destruction, swearing

Bucky was going to call. He just didn’t. He was surprised you hadn’t and overwhelmingly disappointed that it meant if he was going to apologize, it was a conversation he’d have to initiate himself. It could wait though. Just a little longer while he figured out what he wanted to say.

A week later, the Post ran a story about the same gossip site that had leaked your photo of him being shut down after many of their stories and photos were found to be fake. A rarity for the world of journalism these days, Sam noted casually as they stopped at a newspaper cart. Bucky bought a couple candy bars and watched the man with the thick black mustache and the gold chain slip copies of the article in front of a few of his worst sellers. Could he actually be that lucky? It was an easy out after a week of dodging questions and trying to remind the world to stay out of his business.

“So that photo of you? The secret girlfriend?” Sam waited for Bucky to respond, but when the centenarian opted to buy a Pay Day instead, he watched closer. Bucky hated that. Sam said he had a staring problem, but Sam was the one with x-Ray vision. He could read people, read a room, read Steve’s body language from across a battlefield and adjust his position without being told. As annoyed as Bucky acted when paired up with Sam Wilson, he was one of the few people in this century that Bucky Barnes respected. Truly. Except for that moment on a street corner when brown eyes were scanning his complete lack of guts and deciding what was worth commenting on.

“Yeah,” Bucky ripped open the wrapper a little too aggressively and responded with peanuts between his teeth. “It wasn’t real.”

Sam nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets while Bucky stuffed his face. “I don’t know how you land the fake girlfriend story, when I’m right here,” they started walking away from the stand while Sam jabbered on. “And lookin’ as fine as I do? Come on, man,” he danced ahead of Bucky a few steps, forcing him to look up. “You know this would make a better story.”

Before Bucky could say anything, a loud crash echoed between the buildings. Nothing was visible from their block, but both men, trained for combat, were instantly on alert.

“That for us?” Sam asked, eyeing the busy intersection.

“No,” said Bucky, a clipped tone in his voice as he shook his head and started walking again.

Another crash, this time accompanied by the faint human noises that usually follow tragedy.

“You sure about that?” Sam’s eyebrow shot up.

Sirens from every kind emergency response vehicle blared in the distance, growing louder then quieter again as they wove their way through the streets, changing directions to avoid traffic.

Bucky pointed at a passing fire truck, waiting until it had turned down another street before speaking. “See? They got it.”

Then Sam’s phone rang and Bucky swore, planting his hands on his hips while whoever was on the other line confirmed that the emergency growing in the distance was in fact for them. Sam placed the call on speaker and gave their current location. Stark’s voice was muffled and metallic, the way it usually was while calling from inside his fancy helmet, but he told them to stay put as he did a fly by with Sam’s equipment.

“Tell the Tin Man he’s got a special delivery,” Tony informed them from somewhere overhead.

“They're your wings,” Bucky grumbled, looking up from the ground as the familiar glare of Iron Man’s thrusters came into view. “And your robot.”

“First of all,” Sam informed him. “Red Wing isn’t a robot. He’s a drone.”

“It,” Bucky corrected, “is a robot.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said that,” said Sam before pointing up to where Iron Man had doubled back to get a better angle. “And… unlike some of us present, my body is exactly as God created it, flesh and bone.”

“Pop up, deep center,” Tony’s voice rang out obnoxiously through Sam’s phone once more.

Bucky watched a black bundle falling from the sky, trying to position himself under it and pushing more than one pedestrian out of his way to do so. “Actually, I was a catcher back in ‘32.”

“THEN CATCH!” Sam hollered just before the EXO Falcon gear landed square in Bucky’s chest, forcing him off his feet and onto his ass, skidding to a stop on a sidewalk while the people around them scattered, gasping and grabbing at their phones to take pictures of the two Avengers. Bucky laid flat on his back, both arms still wrapped around the bundle, and took a deep breath when Sam stood over his head, arms shooting out to his sides as he yelled “SAFE!”

Bucky groaned and tossed the black bag up into Sam’s arms, hard enough to make him stumble but not enough to knock him down. “Should have said ‘out.’” Bucky grumbled and Sam chuckled as he dug through the bag for his equipment. “Safe makes it sound like I-”

“You really wanna argue about baseball right now,” Sam laughed, securing his wings over his torso and releasing them both with a flash as if stretching before a fight. “Or are we gonna go save the world?” Bucky didn’t answer, just took off running in the direction of the screams. “That’s what I’m talking about,” said Sam to himself, shooting up into the air.

…

Robots. Drones. Whatever they, Bucky Barnes has decided that he hates them.

Fighting Nazis was easy. Not physically. Not when your gun isn’t really yours and the food sucks and you’re almost as worried about losing your toes as you are losing your team. But it made sense. These men in their wool coats wanted innocent deaths. Something in Bucky that had been there all along was born anew in the war. He was a protector. Of his sisters, of Steve, of his country. It made sense.

Nothing about Hydra made sense and the therapist he stopped seeing told him it was okay to think about those years differently than the rest. So he did.

When T’challa presented him with a black vibranium canon for his left side, the enemy was otherworldly. Literally. They didn’t bleed like men. They made horrible screeching noises when they died, but even that was different from me. They rode disgusting creatures with teeth that could have scratched his arm if he’d let them get close enough. They were invaders, their leader sought destruction on an even greater scale than the War. Bucky was a protector again, protector of Earth, of life in the universe. An unimaginable title for the boy he’d been, sitting in front of the radio with his family and marveling at the president's voice. It’s not like he was eager to do it again, but space invaders whose goal was universal genocide would be met with the business end of Bucky’s favorite rifle.

Fighting robots, however, was fucked up.

Bucky was still processing his new life, still getting used to the idea that people carried plastic cards in their wallets and could pull money out of the walls with just a few buttons. There were movie theaters with screens two stories high. Cars plugged into the sides of hotels. The cell phone in his pocket was overwhelming as is. In a few minutes, he could buy all the clothes he’d ever need, pay for dinner, and talk to people across the country. It was baffling.

All this technology, all this progress, and of course there were people who weaponized it. Bucky hated that. He remembered science fairs, remembered Howard Stark’s big promises. There was so much hope in him as a young man. He’d live to drive a flying car, his children would learn about the world through a holograms in their livingroom, his grandchildren would live on the moon. The possibilities were endless. So much so that people with horrible intentions for the world also believed that the possibilities were endless, forcing Bucky into his current position.

His thighs were wrapped around the base of a machine, arms wound near the top. He threw his shoulders back with all of his might, squeezing his legs in the process, and didn’t stop until the metal gave way. Bucky fell onto the pavement with his own momentum, the enemy in two pieces with wires exposed and frizzling as they died. He dropped the robot and rolled to his side, observing the scene around him. Steve used a cleaner approach and sent his shield flying through the air. Three more bots’ were sliced in two, the last of which was pinned by the shield into the side of a brick building. Sam circled above, with Redwing swooping below to draw laser fire away from bystanders while Wanda tried her best to herd them away, spinning to throw angry red energy at anything that came their direction.

“Sergeant Barnes!” The familiar and overly excited voice of the kid in blue and red spider gear startled Bucky. The kid swung in unexpectedly, decked out and ready to help. Bucky didn’t care that he was probably skipping school to do so and swung his vibranium arm behind him, the metal of another droid crunching under his elbow. “How can I help?”

Bucky squinted, a little dumbfounded at the question. There was a six block radius being overrun with droids, drones, robots- whatever- and people were terrified. “Pick something,” he grunted, taking the robot's head… top part, between his hands and twisting until it gave way and the bottom half dropped powerless to the ground.

Just then the sound of metal screeching pulled both their eyes to a city bus being thrown around like it was weightless, crunching the vehicles nearby, and sending more people into a frenzy as buildings were still evacuating onto the street. “That! Pick that!” Bucky commanded and the kid flew away, attached to a white string like a kite. Two more robots were approaching from the sidewalk, red eyes glowing and ready to fire. Bucky looked around the street for something, anything that he could use before deciding on a minivan. The windows looked clear, driver and passengers already scampering away at the first sign of trouble, so Bucky planted his boot into the back door and kicked. The door caved in and the vehicle flipped onto its side before skidding to a halt on the sidewalk and crushing the robots beneath it.

“Uh! MISTER BARNES, SIR, SARGE-!”

Bucky turned back to look at Peter, propped up on a light pole and leaning so far back his body was almost parallel to the ground. The only thing keeping him upright was the two thick white webs attached to the bus, one at the front and one at the back. It was tipping over dangerously low, trapping a small group of people between the bus and two buildings, one that had smoke billowing out the windows. This was a mess.

Bucky ran through the street, jumping onto the hoods of abandoned cars to avoid weaving between them before leaping off an SUV and rolling back into a run on the sidewalk. A laser struc Peter, knocking him clean off his perch, and the webs supporting the bus went dangerously slack as it started tipping toward the trapped people again. Bucky jumped, wedging himself between the building and the collapsing bus with great effort. His shoulders dug into the brick behind him and his thighs burned as he shoved the bus away from the wall, gritting his teeth as he felt it slowly start to tip away from the ground. The kid was now on the ground somewhere out of sight and Bucky had to hold back from sending the vehicle flying, lest he squash Stark’s favorite spider in the process. The tension in his legs grew as he held it steady, adjusting his feet and shoulders until he felt it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Hey!” He called out to the people below him. “Get out of here, go!”

There were rushed thank yous and lots of tears as the crowd dispersed from their trapped position. But one voice stood out among them and it made Bucky’s heart speed up.

“Bucky?! Oh my god, BUCKY!”

Bucky’s eyes were closed under the strain, but he’d know your voice anywhere. He opened them just in time to see Peter recover and zip off in a new direction. Bucky released his breath and shoved his feet out hard, tipping the bus back. He dropped from the wall and grabbed you as the bus wobbled precariously in both directions before finally falling into traffic and directly onto the roof of an empty red sports car.

Bucky hadn’t realized how tight he was holding you until you said his name again and the word was broken. His arms relaxed a bit, but you made no move to run away… or let go of his jacket. The two of you just stared at each other, breathing heavily, before screaming drew your eyes away. The small crowd of people you’d been stuck with were running away from where you stood, but the two in the back collapsed, their bodies charred and heavy as they hit the ground. You screamed then and Bucky pulled your back into his chest, hugging your stomach as you keeled over. He’d seen so much death in his hundred odd years, it was hard to witness it with these fresh eyes. You weren’t prepared to watch two innocent people’s skin melting under lasers. Hell, neither was Bucky and while you cried in his arms, the smell of burning flesh stung his eyes. He’d never get over that smell, no matter how many world wars he participated in. His face was buried in the back of your head, shushing you as he lifted you up. He took careful backwards steps until you were both hidden in the same alley you’d just been trapped in. Bucky looked up at the burning building and decided he had a minute before you were both in danger here.

“Hey,” he said softly when you went limp against his chest. “Hey now,” he repeated, spinning and almost dropping you when he realized you hadn’t just relaxed… you were unconscious. “Shit,” Bucky dropped to his knees and let your body lean up against his chest, slapping at your cheeks and calling your name to try and wake you up. Half of your face was red with blood from a wound he couldn’t see somewhere in your hair. Break up or no break up, he couldn’t leave you like this. Any other person, he’d run them to safety and double back to continue clearing the streets. But this wasn’t any person. It was the girl he dumped in the middle of a restaurant and had continuously put off calling to explain himself. He hadn’t gotten the chance to clear the air and leaving you to wake up in a few hours in the middle of a destroyed midtown was just too cruel. He did like you and now it felt like he owed you.

Bucky picked you up like a doll and slung you around to his back, crossing your arms over his chest as your legs dangled behind his knees. That wasn’t going to work, he decided after only a few steps. “Can you hold on a little-“ Bucky drifted off as he turned his face to see your face hidden behind him, your forehead limply resting against his shoulder. “Of course not,” he berated himself and stopped to adjust again. This time he stooped, grabbing one of your arms and one of your legs with his hands. You were slung over his shoulders like a backpack, the same way he carried goats in Wakanda, only much easier since you weren’t kicking or screaming and he had two hands with which to wrangle you.

His steady march out of the fray was interrupted once by Wanda. After directing pockets of people to safety, she’d sought out the source of the invasion. Bucky looked around for a safe place to stow your body and found an SUV that was abandoned but still running with the doors unlocked to lay you out across the backseat, carefully tucking your feet in before slamming the door behind him. He liked Wanda, despite not knowing what exactly she was capable of, but liked her a lot less when he found himself immersed in a glowing red forcefield and being lifted into the sky. When he was forced through the large glass window of another building only to look up and find her floating gently through the hole his body had created, she shrugged.

“This way was faster,” she said, Sokovian accent much softer than their first meeting.

“Right,” Bucky groaned, making a mental note of how many Avengers could zip through the air with ease and the odds of being the one she found on the ground.

They raced up the final set of stairs and Bucky ripped the maintenance door to the roof off its hinges. It was unlucky that Bucky and Wanda had been the ones to find the bastard responsible. If it had been Steve, he’d been bound and handed over to the authorities. Tony might have thrown him in armored vehicle and shook him around a bit before demanding answers. Bruce… depending on the day wouldn’t have been much better. Nat would have gotten answers easier than either of them and Sam was easily the most noble of the bunch, so Bucky had no idea what he’d do. The right thing, whatever that was. But Wanda wasn’t particularly fond of people who harmed innocent people. The motivation didn’t much matter to her when the sounds of children crying could be heard in the streets. Bucky didn’t have much grace for people who were smart enough to help, but broken enough to hurt. Like the bastards in Hydra, who healed him, kept him alive, gave him extraordinary strength then weaponized him. Anyone who had this level of technological advancement and chose to bring destruction with it was a waste of air. Wanda hoisted the man up into one of her angry red orbs while Bucky broke the control panel into as many pieces as he could, destroying anyone else’s opportunity to learn from this guy. Neither of them had anticipated this guy to be so well armed. It looked like a pistol, but whatever it fired managed to get through Wanda’s energy field and pierce her shoulder, breaking her focus just enough for him to drop back onto the roof. He took off running to the edge and leapt, but Wanda recovered faster, using her powers to yank him back. Bucky caught him in the air and squeezed, locking the man in a painful hold until he noticed glowing red numbers counting down behind the man’s neck. Shit.

“Bucky!” Wanda pointed at the man’s hands, wrapped threateningly around a plunger that could only mean one thing.

Without a better option, Bucky turned back to edge. He released the man and as he tried to stumble forward, Bucky’s boot landed square against his sacrum, launching the man through the air and into a neighboring building in a ball of fire. Both Avengers watched the corner offices go up in flames, disgust and horror in both their eyes.

“The whole block was evacuated,” Wanda said softly and Bucky nodded. There was a distinct lack of screaming coming from the direction of the building and sirens soon flooded the streets below as first responders made their way into critical areas. From the ledge, both of them watched as the remaining bots dropped to the ground before their team, disengaging en masse. Steve looked up from atop a bodega and saluted the sky in their general direction, lifting the shield as a second acknowledgment before jumping down to the street to start… whatever Captain America does once the threat has been neutralized. The PR and clean up stuff wasn’t Bucky’s scene and he turned away, making it all the way across the roof, still observing the scene below, before remembering that you were somewhere, either still unconscious or just waking up, deeply confused in the back of a stranger’s car.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, wanting to make sure before asking Wanda for any favors.

She pulled her hand away from her shoulder, black nail polish and red blood looking menacing and downright witchy against her pale fingers. “I’ll be alright,” she assured him, eyes already glowing red as she prepared to offer more aid.

Bucky stopped her and nodded over the side of the building. “Gimme a lift?”

She snorted and waved her fingers without looking at him and soon enough, Bucky found himself falling on his ass once again. He needed to work on his dismount if this was going to become a regular pairing. Thankfully or maybe not, you were trying to wake up as Bucky slipped into the driver’s seat and commandeered the vehicle. He turned back to watch you whine in pain as you tried to sit up, before slipping back into sleep when he told you to stay down. You were in and out for most of the drive, which helped Bucky weave up and over curbs to avoid stagnant areas where everyone had abandoned their cars out of fear.

…

You woke up with a headache, exasperated by the bright lights of the emergency room. Bucky could see the moment you came to by the hard squinting that melted into a grimace. You’d had a couple false starts, but when your eyes opened and locked on his, Bucky knew it was the real deal this time. He stood to pull back the curtain and immediately a nurse was shimmying her way into your space, brushing her chest against Bucky’s in the process. He nodded and gave her a tight smile. It had been like that since he walked into the ER with you. Avengers carrying blacked out civilians get a lot of attention, but they also get speedy service. Which is what Bucky told himself when he stuck around once you’d been admitted. You’d get better care if he stayed with you, so he did. Feet propped up on the end of your bed and dropping whenever someone came to run another test. He wasn’t family and didn’t claim to be, so they told him nothing, but nurses managed to smile flirtatiously in between doing their job. In another life, Bucky would have… done something. Anything. He smiled. He was a hundred, not dead, but there was something off putting about receiving these looks when you were asleep right there between hanging curtains in an overrun hospital as ambulances and families started to arrive from the mess he’d just left.

You answered their questions slowly, but correctly. Your name, where you were, what year it is, who the president is. The doctor would be in soon and Bucky took the minute of alone time to scoot the chair they’d brought in for him. You were watching him expectantly as the legs scraped across the floor, just a few inches before he could reach a hand out to yours. You looked down curiously at your hand in Bucky’s.

“They spelled my name wrong,” you murmured and Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut as you lifted your joined hands to observe the little plastic bracelet closer. He shook his head, wanting to apologize, but also hoping you wouldn’t connect the dots that he’d given them your information incorrectly. “Bucky?” He looked up to find your eyes wider than usual, a little more vulnerable than he was used to seeing you and wanted to do something to make you feel better. But like the entirety of your relationship, he had no idea how to do that.

“You’re okay,” he nodded, telling himself as much as he was telling you.

“Thank you,” you squeezed his fingers as your voice shook.

Just then a man in a white coat, pushed back the curtain and Bucky stood reflexively, dropping your hand in the process. He turned back and saw your face fall before crossing your arms over your chest and looking away from him.

“Sergeant Barnes,” the doctor addressed him first.

“Bucky,” he corrected without thinking and turned his body, opening up the room a bit and directing attention back to what mattered. The patient. You.

“Thank you for bringing her in,” the doctor continued, then looked back and forth between the two of you. “We’ve got it from here, if you need to-”

“He can stay,” you piped up. The doctor asked if you were sure, but you were. The doctor nodded, turning fully toward the bed and while that was Bucky’s goal, he now felt completely out of place in the tiny space.

“First things first,” the doctor started. “You and the baby are just fine, so I don’t want you worrying about that at all. Do you have a OB or a-”

Bucky stopped listening at that moment and focused on the roaring ocean in his ears. He looked to the bed where you were listening intently to what the doctor was saying, nodding and shaking your head mechanically. While he stared, you stole a glance in his direction. Your face was blank and he didn’t spend much time trying to read it.

“This sounds personal,” he said, voice flat and vibranium hand already reaching for the curtain at the end of your bed. “Take care.” Without sparing another look, Bucky walked through the busy emergency room with his left hand tucked into his front pocket, making him invisible to anyone who didn’t know he was there.

A/N: Here we go! It’s happening. I’m not sold on the way this ended but it was getting long as is and don’t worry, Bucky will have his chance to make it up to you.

Tags: @fangirl-swagg @learisa

[full-of-roman-angst-trash]

A Prince’s Room

Part 2

Concept by @yeet-ceit

TW: Unsympathetic Sides (Except for Roman), Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, Cursing, Arguing, Injury? (Roman gets slapped). If I missed any, pleased tell me and I will add it.

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1807

Roman wants to be perfect. No, he needs to be perfect. And part of being perfect is being a good friend. Roman loves the other sides. He loves them more than anything in the world. Even more than Disney and musical theater. His friends are the main reason why his still holding on. He doesn’t want to lose them. He can’t lose them. He won’t survive if he does.

So, to make sure he doesn’t he takes notes. He writes down ways to make sure he’s constantly improving. Any bad habits that the others point out or flaws he writes down and tries to fix. 

The lists went on and on. Hung up on the walls of his room to make sure he always remembers. And as time goes on, more and more is added to the list. Every small addition getting him one step closer to perfection.

Remember to keep your voice level normal. Don’t talk too loudly.

Stop being so dramatic, you're taking too much attention away from the others.

Don’t be too confident, it comes off as cocky and no one like someone that’s too cocky.

Don’t rant about your interest for too long it gets annoying and boring.

Don’t be selfish, no one likes a selfish person.

....................

The chart came along a few months later. 

Roman had already been taking notes on how to please his friends however he decided to reorganize his notes into a chart. Each side had their own section containing list of what they liked, disliked, what cheered them up, and what upsets them.

Logan

Likes: Crofters, astrology, coffee, books, teaching, silence, human anatomy, schedules, deadlines, Thomas being productive, debating, constellations, being listened to, law, learning, classical music, poetry, Sherlock.

Dislikes: Being ignored, unnecessary emotions, sweets, dumb people, someone being too loud, childish movies, games, being behind schedule, illogical decisions, jokes, unrealistic dreams.

What makes him happy?: Stargazing, writing, meeting deadlines, winning debates, telling random facts, rapping, his onesie, reading, being left alone, being called cool, teaching.

What upsets him?: Being treated as a joke, being teased, being reminded of his mistakes, making mistakes, being ignored or overlooked, losing a debate, feeling dumb.

Patton

Likes: Cookies, drawing, cure animals, compliments, happy songs, seeing his friends happy, t.v shows, helping others, singing, dancing, playing dress up, stuffed animals, gifts, holidays, baking, sweets.

Dislikes: Screaming, loud noises, getting stuff thrown at him, blood, weapons, violence, seeing his friends injured, sad movies and stories.

What makes him happy?: Cuddles, movie nights, being showered with affection, cookies, drawing, karaoke nights, talking about his emotions, playing games with his friends, helping others, his onesie. 

What upsets him?: Seeing an animal die, seeing people in pain, being forced to grow up, seeing his friends in hurt, not being able to help someone, disappointing someone, letting Thomas down, letting his emotions control him.

Virgil

Likes: Candles, alternative music, spiders, his hoodie, Tim Burton films, My Chemical Romance, headphones, fidget cubes, staying up late, drama shows, bats, knives, collecting pins.  

Dislikes: The ocean, sudden loud noises, cheesy pop music, people that are too optimistic (except for Patton), someone being mean to his friends,

What makes him happy?: Doing makeup, painting his nails, listening to music, Patton’s baking, playing with his pet spider, meditating, watching murder myterious, watching Disney and Tim Burton movies.

What upsets him?: Being put on the spot, being called evil, being treated like an innocent kid, being called a darkside, being called a disorder rejection, talk about serious topics such as suicide and self harm. 

Remus

Likes: Gore, blood, mud, fighting, collecting weapons, deodorant, musicals, inappropriate jokes, Fleischer Studios, pranks, dancing, mythical creatures, things that glow in the dark, random t.v shows, horror movie, slime, candy, octopus, skirts, crop tops.

Dislikes: Cheesy love songs, rules, normal food aside from fast food, birds, learning, shaving, reading, romance movies/shows, backstabbers, lying, shaving cream, showers, losing fights.

What makes him happy?: Dissecting stuff, fighting, pranking others, dancing, singing, coming up with outfit ideas, punching stuff, playing with slime, reenacting horror movies, inappropriate jokes, hanging out in his trash can, being pet, Shrek, eating deodorant, someone doing his makeup.

What upsets him?: Being abandoned or left behind, being told he isn’t good enough, being compared to me, seeing Janus upset, seeing Virgil upset, being told to shave.

Janus

Like: Snakes, philosophy, Greek mythology, sewing, horror movies, mystery books, murder documentaries, self care, sleeping, warm baths, weighted blankets, debating, law.

Dislikes: The cold, when someone takes his hat, dumb comedy movies, eagles, action movies, unnecessary violence or gore, close minded people, liars, sharing secrets, being vulnerable. 

What makes hims happy?: Massages, weighted blankets, cuddling, hanging out with Remus, acting, having debates, seeing Remus and Virgil playfully argue, watching murder mysteries, singing.

What upsets him?: Being called evil, being ignored, seeing Remus or Virgil upset, Thomas not taking care of himself, being replaced, being left behind, people not understanding him, someone making fun of his scales, taking off his gloves.

....................

“Come on pussy! Let’s just march into his room, what’s the worse that could happen?”

“Language!” Patton quickly scolds Remus.

“What if he’s in there and he screams at us for barging in?! What if he gets really mad and chooses to get physical!? What if we see something we don’t want to!? What if he’s asleep and he get mad that we woke him up!? What if-”

“Virgil,” Logan interrupts the panicking side, “Your anxiety is causing you to catastrophize. Please, take a deep breath and try to filter out your cognitive distortion.”

The anxious side nods and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.

“Now, I would like to add that I personally believe that Remus’ plan isn’t the worst idea ever and is currently the best one we have.” The logical side states.

“Well, while I love to agree with Remus, he is wrong in this instance,” 

Remus smirks widely, “Awe! Thanks Jany~ You’re too generous~”

The deceitful side rolls his eyes, “Let’s just go.”

“Fine,” Virgil stands up, looking rather done with everything.

The rest of the sides stand up as well and begin to make their way to the prince’s room.

Once they make it to his door, Remus immediately just breaks the door down and lets himself in.

“Surprise!”

 They walk in, greeted only by silence.

“He isn’t here?” Patton mumbles to himself.

“Doesn’t look like it. Let’s not go then.”

The other sides nod and start making their way out. Well, everyone except for Logan. 

The logical side instead gets distracted by a paper stabled to the wall. He walks over to it and reads it to himself. Once he’s done reading his looks around the room and notices all the papers on the wall. As well, as the lack of theater and Disney merchandise.

“Wait, doesn't Roman’s room look,” He pauses to search for the right words, “Wrong?”

The other sides stop walking and looks around.

“Now that you mention it,” Remus mumbles, “His room has changed a lot since I last saw it...”

The other start reading through the endless papers of tips to improve himself and advice. 

Suddenly Patton stops in front of a chart titled “Duties”

He slowly goes over it and buy the time he is done he is fuming with rage.

“What the hell!? Guys come look at this!”

The others go over, slightly amused and concerned.

Each of them take turns analyzing the chart. 

Roman had spend his day at the Imagination. After the whole wedding accident, he’s been stuck in a very toxic place and well he thought a small guest might help. So, he left early in the morning and began his guest. He hadn’t meant to stay there for as long as he did but he lost track of time. 

“Kiddo, we have a lot to talk about,” Patton mumbles in a passive aggressive tone.

....................

As the tired side starts approaching his room, he notices that all the either sides are gathered outside his room. Once he’s a bit closer, Virgil is the first to notice him. To his shock though, Virgil rushes to him and slaps him

“Roman, what the fuck!?”

Roman stands there shocked for a few minutes before looking at Patton, expecting to hear him scold Virgil. Instead however, Patton just look away from him.

“ANSWER ME!”

“I-...” Roman bites his lip to hold back the tears in his eyes, “I-I don’t understand... W-what did I do....?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!?”

The prince-like-side flinches and looks down.

Remus puts a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, "Let me handle this.”

For some reason, Roman thought that Remus would be on his side. He thought that if anyone understood what he was trying to do, it would be his brother. Or that his brother would at least explain what happened and let him tell his part of the story.

So, he looked up with a hopeful expression. 

“Don’t look at me like that. What the fuck is wrong with you!? If you think we were such a hassle then why did you stay friends with us!?”

Any hope that Roman had immediately leaves his body, “I-I... I never said that! Where is this coming?!”

“DON’T BULLSHIT ME, ROMAN!” Remus summons his morning star, “WE SAW THE FUCKING CHART! SO, WHAT!? WE’RE NOTHING MORE THAN “DUTIES” TO YOU!?” 

The usual confident side is now frozen in shock. They weren’t supposed to see that chart. They weren’t supposed to see his room at all. If Roman was being honest, he could understand why they took the chart the wrong way. The name of it wasn’t exactly the best but it was all he could think of while actually making it. Now though, he wished he would have pushed himself to think of a better name.

“N-No! You got it all wrong!” He is now crying, flinching away from his brother, “I was just trying to make you guys happy!”

Remus scoffs and puts his weapon away. He walks away from Roman and returns to Janus’ side.

“Whatever, Roman.”

His knees give out and he falls to the floor in defeat.

“I would greatly appreciate if you keep your distance from Patton and I from now on. If you fail to do so, I can’t exactly guarantee that I will be nice. Goodbye Roman.”

“Fucking pussy.” Remus throws out.

And just like that Logan sinks down with a crying Patton.

“And I thought I was the snake,” Janus adds, looking at him in pure disgust.

Then, they’re gone.

For a few seconds Virgil stares at the broken prince in front of him.

“You really are an idiot.”

He looks away from him and sinks down with a scoff leaving the weeping prince on the floor. 

Alone.

....................

[sometimeinjoon]

Smiles

3.5k

Min Yoongi. Perpetual frowner. Scoffer.

Also the guy you’ve tried your sunny advances on, to no avail.

“Now, _____,” the instructor points at you from across the room. He’s half seated his butt on the teacher’s desk. “Tell us what you would say to the man that needed an ark in the story?”

Against better judgment, you answer without delay. “I Noah guy.”

And the Min Yoongi. The perpetual frowner. The scoffer.

Laughs.

He cracks a smile for a split second before he bursts out into a fit. An entire fit! Soon he’s got his eyes closed, leaning back on his chair, hands on his stomach like some major comedian just gave him the literal best he’s got.

And instead of getting angry and/or annoyed at the scene in front of him, the instructor starts laughing too. Giggling, mostly. But he’s also apparently surprised that the entire class is cricket silent spare the only guy that never laughs at his jokes despite his immediate need for recitation grades, let alone anyone else’s.

Yoongi recovers and you prepared to count the seconds before his face goes back to blank, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t! Yoongi looks at you with a thin lipped smile the entire time you spoke out your actual answer to the literary prof’s question. It made your heart soar, yes, but it was also unnerving. You’ve tried everything for him to notice you, to acknowledge you, and he’s never. What makes this time so special? It couldn’t be the pun, even though it obviously had to be. It was terrible!

You take it though. You take whatever sliver of attention thrown your way, like a deranged dog turning around and chasing after a stick his owner pretended to throw. You engrave this moment into your brain, planning to cherish it forever. Despite your huge crush on him, all the times you’ve tried to approach him had been shut down. Your mind was made that Yoongi just was not the one for you, but you’re young and you’re in no rush. Little moments that make you feel giddy, like when he accidentally brushes your shoulder and when he looks in your general direction are enough for you. So instead of moving on to liking someone that you actually had a shot with, you pine after Yoongi like a maniac.

An extremely tingly maniac, since you can feel Yoongi’s eyes at the back of your head. He’s a row behind you but a couple of seats away, so he doesn’t escape your peripheral when you angle your head to the right, slightly, pretending to be listening to the instructor. Maybe it was only your delusion and that he’s not actually looking at you, but you’re more than satisfied with yourself like that.

Next after literature came gym, and you curse whatever commission mandated sports to be part of your general education subjects in university. Though, there’s a really cute guy that spikes really well during volleyball and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he liked you. What was his name, Jungkook? He keeps looking at you after he scores, as if looking for affirmation. Like he’s saying “did you see that? Yes. I did that. I’m good at volleyball.”

You’re starting to actively wait for him to glance at you every once in a while. He’s actually looking past you, but he’s too absorbed at whoever he was actually looking at to notice you returning his looks. With you in the sidelines and him in the court and all the unintentional, weird eye flirting going on, you’re extremely surprised to find Yoongi’s chest suddenly coming in between your lines of vision. He’s just trotted on in front of you, hands in his pockets.

“I didn’t think you were a fan of volleyball?” he asks, hunched down towards you so you could hear him over the noise.

“I’m not. Just spectating.”

“Ah, I see,” he says, sitting down beside you. Your cheeks burn almost instantly, your hands building up a sweat.

“So what are you a fan of?” he asks, setting his elbows on his knees, hands together looking out onto the players on the court. He’s facing you a bit with his body and you’re sure you’re about to faint.

“Basketball, I guess, since I know how play works,” you lie. You only said that cause you knew Yoongi was into it.

Yoongi grins at your answer, dropping his eyes to his hands. “Funny, I’ve never seen you during games?”

You want to protest at what he’s said, but you realize you couldn’t without sounding like a complete idiot. What were you going to say? That you watched every single one this season except you’ve tried to hide yourself from Yoongi, because instead of the games, you’re looking at him? Of course not.

“Hey, I’m just joking,” he consoles you when you take a little too long to answer. He bumps his shoulder into yours and ohmygod I’m literally about to piss myself.

That was the beginning of something. You weren’t sure what to call it, but it was definitely something. He’s still cold and smug, but he’s also indirectly nicer. To only you, you’ve noted. He’s switched seats with the guy behind you in literature and now you’re not sure of how you’re supposed to move when in class. He walks out the room with you on the way to your next class and you talk. He gives you his spare snack bars before any activities begin. He also picks you on his team during gym. Sure, you’re never first pick, but you’re a good third. That’s good enough.

Good enough is what you keep telling yourself. That you don’t need any more than whatever this was.  Random hellos in the halls and small smiles. It was enough. That you and Yoongi will never be together, but this, being his friend, was enough.

“Was my pun really that funny?” you ask him the first time you have lunch together on a whim.

“What?”

“We became friends after you laughed at me in class.”

“Oh, you kept track?”

You wanted to take what you’ve said back before Yoongi wipes away any embarrassment that was about to build in your system. He tells you he’s just kidding and that he’s just always wanted to be friends with you. That he’s not sure about how to initiate things, so he took that as gateway interaction.

You think to yourself that he’s literally an idiot. That you’ve tried to initiate at least a friendship about 70 times, and each and every single time, he seems unhappy to be around you.

But that’s okay. All those times he’s turned you down have led up to this glorious moment of actually having him in your contacts list, having him as an option to call on random food trips at night even though you would never. Of actually having him smile at you when your eyes meet. Of actually having him here, in this McDonald’s in campus eating a burger as you wait out the rain.

The pun, though, the ”gateway interaction”, it wasn’t funny. In fact, it took everything in Yoongi to laugh as much as he did. He was at such a high risk for sounding phony that he just tried the hardest he could to fake it until he made it. He swore he almost popped a vein that day, but it was worth it. He was unsure of how to approach you, given that when he realized he wanted to, you’ve stopped trying to get around him which made things about ten times more difficult.

He was ecstatic about your unofficial date today, when he’s caught you waiting in a shed for the rain to stop before asking you if you wanted to make a run for it to McDonald’s. He’s trying to keep his composure around you, trying not to fidget too much, not trying to chew too loud. But you kept coaxing him to talk and to talk and to talk that he’s now just caught himself talking with his mouth fucking full for the third time so far.

God, when your lips are a little bitten by the cold like that as you eat your McFlurry, he wants to kiss you. He’s not listening to what you’re saying anymore, just nodding and smiling with his teeth out. That’s how whipped he is.

But the rain stops, and so does his train of thought when “get going” leaves your lips.

“I’m sorry I—“ he tries to apologize for zoning out.

“Need to get going, yes. Namjoon’s going to skin you!” You say, already pushing yourself out of your seat. The literary reading, how could Yoongi forget. He volunteered at the theater so he could stare at you dreamily while you yelled at idiotic freshmen that made out under the stage. He’s also promised Namjoon he’ll critic his acting for the play.

Right now, Yoongi’s not sure why, but he’s sweating. Profusely. He’s already mapped it out in his head, take something that’s yours, and then run after you to return it so he could ask you if you want to go to dinner randomly tonight. Like a passive-aggressive way to ask someone out on a date.

He’s already got a pen and a hair tie in his pocket, but he’s all over the place. He can’t use these?  What would make a pen so important that he’d have to go to you at eight o’clock at night just to return it? He sets the pen back down on the table. The hair tie, he’s decided to keep it for himself. You had about fifty, and he wants a remembrance.

Now he’s freaking because you’re about to go back into the locker room to get your things and leave, and he’s still scavenging around your belongings you’ve left messy on the table looking for that one thing. He already hears you laughing outside. He has to decide right now, this instant, what does he— oh, that’ll do.

It will definitely do. In fact, it’s so important to you it’s going to have him change 90% of his plans he’s so carefully pieced together tonight. He slaps his hand onto the screen of your phone to try and hide it from view as you swing the door open, and it works. You completely overlook it as you gathered the litter of things on the table, bid him goodbye and left. Now he’s in a real shit of a situation, because, how will he run your phone after you tonight?

The sensible answer would have been to run it after you right now, but he’s in a panic and his mind was set to this evening, where he was supposed to text you that you forgot something and if you could meet up by the fountain to get it from him. With his plans being thwarted too early, he’s still fixed on tonight, on 8 PM tonight. How was he supposed to text you now that he had your phone?

How was he supposed to text at all now that he doesn’t have his phone?

It’s gone! It’s not in his bag where the thought he’d left it, where could it have gone?

Oh, silly, it’s probably with you. You probably took it instead of yours by accident.

Now Yoongi really starts to sweat. You’re going to see that you’re his lockscreen. And that’s not so bad, except he’s also edited little emoji hearts on it. He thinks about just texting his number and say that you’re going to have to meet because you switched phones, but you’re going to see that he’s saved your contact under ”Wifey” with a ring emoji and three hearts.

Little did he know you’re in a panic too, wondering where your phone went and which stage member accidentally took it. If a stage member took it, actually, or if it had been stolen somewhere else.

You run into Jungkook at KFC on your way to your dorm and he notices you’re distraught.

“Everything alright?” he smiles.

You try to smile back. “Yeah, I guess.”

Jungkook hesitates for a second before asking you if you were going to head home alone. You nod your head yes and before you really notice what’s going on, you’ve already agreed to him walking you home. He also mentions his boyfriend’s apartment being a floor up, so it was really a practical thing to just walk together.

Yoongi unknowingly walks by your apartment while he was strolling around the building to calm his nerves and at the far end of the hallway, he sees Jungkook drop you off. He waits for him to kiss you, to absolutely obliterate him, but he doesn’t. He sees you close the door to your apartment and then Jungkook just leaves.

Yoongi’s stuck in his spot for a good while before he comes back to his senses. He debates on doing what he was thinking of doing, but he does it anyway. He’s sure he’s not supposed to and he’s going to seem extremely entitled to you after this but he’s so overcome with anger—jealousy, really, and trudges on to your apartment door.

Knock knock knock.

Who could that be? It’s like, 8 at night.

You swing the door open. “Oh, Yoongi, what brings you—“

In one swift motion he holds your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. A soft kiss. It takes you both a second before you fully start kissing, moving your lips in sync. His other hand makes it around your waist and pulls you closer, kissing you a little harder, a little faster.

You shove at his chest lightly to tell him to pull away. You didn’t intend to break the kiss, but Yoongi’s taken a much deeper breath before the kiss compared to you and you were going to suffocate if you don’t get a breather.

Then Yoongi leaves. Leaves. His eyes widen and before you could smile at him and he mouths a quick sorry before running off. Literally running off. Into the hallway, disappearing at a turn. He’s so shocked at what he’s done and he didn’t know how he was supposed to recollect himself and actually explain what the fuck he’s just done, so he just left. He’s worried that he might have got in between something between you and Jungkook and he’s angry at himself now, angry at his impulsiveness. Angry that he thought that you could have been something. Angry that he wants you to be something, but he has no idea how to approach this whole thing. He decides he wouldn’t. That he won’t bother talking to you again after the sheer embarrassment he’s just drowned himself in. It was good while whatever you had lasted anyway.

Three days later, at theater, Yoongi finally shows up. He’s moved his seat to the back end of the room during literature and he doesn’t even show up during gym. You were seeking him out but wasn’t sure where to look, and without your old phone, you wouldn’t really have a shot at finding him since you didn’t have his number. You’ve borrowed your best friend’s old Samsung and it was tying you over well, but that meant not having half of the people you had on your contacts. Jungkook regularly walks you home now and Yoongi’s been creeping around waiting for him to do so every day. He’s still waiting for a hug, or a kiss, just to rub in his emotions.

You see him talking to Namjoon at the side of the stage and as soon as you said your lines, you ran to them.

“_____, hi,” Namjoon smiles. You see Yoongi turn away from you.

“Hey Joon, sorry, can I just—,” you squeeze yourself in between them, “give this fucker what he deserves thanks,” and then you yank Yoongi by his jacket and kiss him. His eyes grow wide and then they flutter shut eventually, kissing you back. You intended on a one-kiss thing, not a full make out, but Yoongi apparently had something else in mind.

“Ah, so things worked out,” Namjoon steps back and puts both his hands up. After a second of you two still not parting, Namjoon jingles his keys by your ears, face full of disgust.

“Take my office, but for the love of god don’t nut on my desk. You’ll ruin the wood stain.”

Yoongi smirks and takes the keys. Leading you inside, he yells “no promises” to the man that graciously gave you his office as fuck space. What a dipshit, you love him already.

“Listen,” Yoongi starts, leaning against the door as you settled yourself on the edge of the aforementioned desk Namjoon did not want any jizz on. “I’m not in here to fuck, alright?”

“Wasn’t hoping on it, really,” you cross your arms over your chest. “All I’m interested in is knowing why you just ran away that one night and have been trying to actively avoid me, asshole.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” he scratches the back of his head.

“I like you, maybe? Or you don’t and just needed something to do?”

“Fuck no, I fucking like you. Like like like you. I was so jealous of Jungkook and—“

“Oh, of course you were.”

“I fucking was! I still fucking am! I had this whole thing fucking planned, took your phone, would give it back to you and maybe have some dinner, may have even kissed you before I left, but who do I see taking you home? Shit, I know I fucked up cause you ended up with my phone, but sheesh,”

He tries to mentally prepare himself for you breaking it to him, that you and Jungkook are getting along well and are on your way into else things past friendship, but he knows it’s a crapshoot and whatever prep he does, it won’t prepare him for his heart officially tearing into two. He hasn’t liked anyone as much as he likes you.

“You fucktard,” you smile and walk over to him, reaching for his hands that were fidgeting with each other. “You fucking idiot, you took my fucking phone? So the one I have, with me as the wallpaper, was yours?” you smile wider and give him a peck. “And Jungkook, baby, he has a boyfriend.”

“He does?”

“No I’m just kidding. We’re together.”

Yoongi’s heart snaps, but you pick the pieces right back up and laugh.

“Would I really be locked in this room with you if I had someone else?” You ask. He shakes his head. Without his worried expression changing, Yoongi pulls you in and kisses you again, slower than the last time he did. His hands were placed firmly on the lower part of your hips and he’s almost moaning as you pull at his shirt. You place both of your hands on his cheeks and lick at his lips, asking for permission and he gives it to you. Your tongues meet and at first it was shy, subtle, small licks in between kisses. Yoongi’s flushed, cheeks pink and he’s starting to sweat a little bit, but he loves it, he loves the adrenaline that’s building in his stomach. He grabs your ass after he begins to lose control but he doesn’t intend on taking things any further. Not yet. Not here. He wants a bed for that. Maybe some candles and some roses. Maybe after some dinner he’s going to cook. He’s not sure.

“Settle down,” you whisper against his lips when he starts to heavily massage your cheek.

“Sorry, I’m— they were right there, you know? Big and ready for the taking.”

“You didn’t even ask permission,” you frown. He immediately lets go of your butt and his mouth gapes open but you just kiss him again, smiling.

“_____, may I please grab your ass as we make out?” he asks, smiling, staring at your lips that he’s already turned so red.

You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Be my guest.” His hand finds your ass immediately. Both cheeks this time.

“Oh, and,” he says before your lips could touch again. “Will you be my girlfriend too? Is that appropriate to ask in this situation? I swear it’s not just cause we’re making out and I’m getting infatuated, I’ve been sure I liked you for a while now. I promise, I’ll take you out and shit and—“

You kiss him, softly, on the cheek to cut him off. “Yes.”

And at that moment, Min Yoongi. Perpetual frowner. Scoffer.

Smiles.

[pellicano-sanguino]

Today I went to see a play that’s based on the Little Vampire books by Angela Sommer-Bodenburg. I know, it’s embarrassing for an adult to go see a play for children, but I have a strong nostalgic connection to these books. They introduced me to the concept of vampires and got me hooked on the genre. So, here are some random thoughts about the play.

I should probably say a word or two about the books first. The first book came out during the 80s and after re-reading it a while ago, I must admit some parts of it haven’t aged that well (also, I’m no longer the intended target audience). I will give Sommer-Bodenburg credit for not watering down her vampires into child friendly versions. There are a lot of childrens’ vampire fiction where they clearly just wanted the aesthetics of vampires, not the actual brutal reality of vampirism like blood drinking and, you know, the whole being undead thing. Angela Sommer-Bodenburg doesn’t pussyfoot around the creepier aspects of vampire culture. Her vampires drink blood (except Anna, who hasn’t grown her fangs yet), and they talk about their deaths quite frankly and openly, including that they were turned by their own family members. 

The basic premise is a small boy named Anton befriending some vampire children and them trying to hang out with each other while keeping it secret from each other’s families. The play is based on the first book of the series and I think it’s a pretty decent and quite faithful adaptation. They’ve changed some things, but not much and the plot follows the book accurately.

Not gonna lie, the actor playing Anton was really wooden and fake, like a cardboard cutout. That’s the problem of having grown adults play small children. I know theater is all about suspending your disbelief (like in Takarazuka, believing that the clearly female otokoyaku are in fact male on the stage), but somehow I just have trouble buying Anton’s performance. Doesn’t help that he speaks in a very formal version of Finnish that no child speaks in real life. He tries so hard to make his voice and body language appear childlike, but it’s just not working. 

Rydiger on the other hand is fantastic. He’s quite different than the Rydiger from the books, but I don’t mind. In the books, Rydiger was my least favourite of the vampire children but here he is the best one of them and the best actor in the whole play. Instead of being a bratty, insufferable gremlin, he has elegant mannerisms, pleasant voice and he’s the most reasonable and caring of the vampire siblings. It’s not book accurate, but I approve. I especially like how this Rydiger talks and uses his body language. Unlike Anton, who shouldn’t be speaking in formal Finnish, Rydiger was raised over a hundred years ago and so was taught different kinds of speech and manners. He really comes off like a creature from another time. I love his little hand gestures, and his costume is so stylish and much more nice looking than the ragged gremlin-Rydiger from the books. Despite his adult-like mannerisms, Rydiger still acts like a child, much more accurately than Anton.

I fail to see what this cooler version of Rydiger sees in the boring, wooden block that is Anton. I totally see what Anton sees in Rydiger, who wouldn’t want a stylish little vampire friend. In the books I criticized Anton’s reasons for keeping up his friendship with Rydiger. In the books, Rydiger was a rude little shit, constantly making fun of Anton, stealing his books and being generally a real jerk. I thought, that if Rydiger wasn’t a vampire, Anton would never put up with such a lousy friend. Anton only tolerated Rydiger’s bullshit because he was a vampire and having a vampire friend was cool. Kids, don’t keep up friendships with people just because you like what they are, the more important thing is who they are. Anyway, in the play I can more easily buy their friendship (yes, Rydiger gets his moments of being a jerkface, but not nearly as badly as in the books). The scene where Rydiger teaches Anton how to fly was very adorable. And because the child characters were being played by grown adults, also kinda...  romantic?

“I’m flying, Jack! I’m flying!”

Anton’s parents were your token Normal People (TM) of the show. Both in the play and in the book they make fun of Anton’s interest in vampires, especially his mother (I swear, Angela Sommer-Bodenburg must have had some mother issues). It’s very sad to see parents mock the interests of their child. I know the feeling, it’s one of the reasons I always place the books I read down cover first so that no one can read the cover and call me stupid for liking a book like that. I’m so conditioned to do this, I do it even when I’m all alone at home. Do not mock your childrens’ interests, people, it will have long lasting effects. 

For whatever reason they changed Geiermeier the vampire hunter’s name to...  I don’t quite remember, Kalmankulma or something similar. Anton’s surname was changed to a Finnish name too, and they’ve updated the story to modern times, since they talk about euros instead of marks. But Anton’s family still has a corded phone, and Anna could call them from a phone booth. It’s weird they updated some parts but also kept some things that have become obsolete tech since the 80s. 

Man, did they fuck up Anna. I hated the look they gave her. What is up with that white, poofy hair, she looks like an old granny, not a five or six year old little girl. And why is her dress so short, we do not need to see her legs all the way up. Ugh, and how they failed with her character. Everything good that I said about Rydiger they must have cut off from book-Anna. In the book, Anna is the kindest, smartest and most humane of all the vampire children. The boys are selfish assholes who treat Anton like a fun toy, but Anna actually genuinely cares about the feelings of their human friend. She is also a strong independent young lady who has a fiery temper and will not tolerate any sass from her mean spirited brothers. Her only downside is that she’s a victim of a really annoying childrens’ book trope, namely that whenever there’s another female character around she becomes jealous of Anton and is unnecessarily rude to the other girls. I get it, kids can be bratty and jealous, but can we please stop teaching little girls the stupid lie that all girls are each others’ enemies and must fight for the attention of boys. For fuck’s sake, let girls be friends with each other, thinking they can only be friends with boys is ridiculous and misogynistic!

Well, Anna of the play is not smart, caring or strong (unless you count annoying, noisy hissy fits as strength, I guess). She has turned into a brainless diva, who simultaneously is smitten by Anton and also doesn’t care what he has to say about anything. Why would you do this to my favourite character!? In the books there were some really heartfelt scenes between Anna and Anton. Like, when Anna proposes the idea that when she gets her fangs she could bite Anton and turn him so that they could be friends forever, and Anton makes it very clear that he has no intention of ever becoming a vampire. This saddens Anna, because it means that Anton will grow to be an adult but Anna and her siblings will forever remain children, with no one to play with. These two must come to an understanding that while they like each other very much, they belong in two different worlds and they must accept that it means they will one day have to say goodbye. All things come to an end, it’s only a matter of when and how. So, why wasn’t a meaningful scene like that in the play?

Finally, we have Lumpi (whose name was changed to Leo in the play). I think he was fine, maybe suffering from a tiny bit of overacting, but still an ok performance. He doesn’t get much screentime, because in the first book we don’t get to see him much. Which is a shame because he is my favourite right after Anna. 

If you thought Claudia from Interview with the Vampire was the most tragic of all child vampires, then clearly, you have not met Lumpi von Schlotterstein. He was turned right in the middle of going through puberty. And so, he is doomed for all eternity to suffer from acne, breaking voice and mood swings. Truly, a lamentable fate is his.

Adding Lumpi to the vampire children friending Anton added a lot of dramatic tension to the group. Because of his mood swings, Lumpi was unpredictable and sometimes even downright threatening. Out of all the vampire kids, he had the least control over his vampire instincts and there were several moments where he considered drinking Anton. So scenes with him could be really intense. Also, he was supposed to be the vain kid with style, being especially proud of his long, sharp fingernails that he cared and filed constantly. They took his style and gave it to Rydiger, they took his vanity and gave it to Anna. Well, he still had a nice, red shirt that went well together with his white scarf and black cape.

Rydiger’s grandmother Sabine also makes an appearance. Strange that they added Sabine and not aunt Dorothee, who was the most dangerous, most blood thirsty of all the von Schlotterstein vampires. In the books Dorothee is the one the kids need to look out for whenever Anton’s visiting their home in the graveyard. There’s a scene where Anton has to hide in Rydiger’s coffin because of her and in the play they do the scene with Sabine. Well, maybe they thought any old vampire lady will do. Also they clearly wanted her to be more comedic relief character, not a threatening, blood drinking monster. Just like Dorothee in the book, Sabine commands Rydiger to go back to sleep and he has to cram himself into his coffin with Anton still there. Once Sabine’s gone, the boys get out and sigh in relief, and Lumpi comments “Well, did you take advantage of the opportunity, brother?” Look, I know he means blood drinking, but these kids being played by adults I can’t help but think about gay vampires sharing a coffin. Doesn’t help that Rydiger replies with a disgusted “Of course not! I’m not like you!” Which enrages Lumpi, because “W-w-what are you implying!?” I’m sorry, my mind is in the gutter, but I can’t help it. Carmilla and Anne Rice have made me see lesbian and gay vampires everywhere.

Well, for a small budget childrens’ play, it was a fun show. Wished they hadn’t changed some of the characters so drastically, but overall it was pretty book accurate, which was a relief (I was worried they were going to make a story of their own and just use the characters’ names, like that awful movie version). A nice nostalgic visit back to the first vampire books I ever read.

[bts-love-sweat-tears]

Change of Heart (Follower Celebration Fic #3)

Title: Change of Heart

Pairing:  Jungkook x reader

Type: shifter!au, wolf!au, angst with a happy ending, Friday Night Lights meets Teen Wolf? Idk.

Word Count: 1,894

Rating: PG    

Warnings: mentions of depression post-bad breakup, language

A/N:   The third of five for my 200 follower celebration! Requested by a lovely anon. This literally wrote itself- I think you can tell sometimes when it flows easier. It was in the notebook that I carry around so I had a fun time deciphering my own handwriting lol. I was tempted to leave it open-ended and ambiguous as I am oft to do, but anon requested happy so I hope you love it. Except for the soulmate thing, it actually has very little to do with shifters.

A/N Update: Crap there are so many typos I’m sorry. Brain and fingers while typing don’t communicate well. Working on edits now, but was excited to get it out <3 

How could you even express what Jungkook meant to you? Until now, you had always kind of taken him for granted. Being with him was like breathing. You didn’t think about it until it lost its usual ease. Clearly, you were now in the emotional equivalent of a head cold. Kook was literally the boy next door, and the two of you had been inseparable since the day his parents had dragged him along to welcome the new neighbors; apple pie still steaming in their hands.

If your parents were surprised by the small-town niceties, you couldn’t say. Kook and you had been in the midst of a stare-down, some kind of weird kindergarten dominance battle. Later in life, you would realize just how dumb it was to stare down a wolf-shifter, but at the time you hadn’t even realized what he was, let alone the finer points of inter-species etiquette. And it didn’t much matter, since had caved first, and bounded over to wrap you in a hug. Most of your childhood memories from that time were filled with warmth, whether from the hugs or the pie you couldn’t say for certain.

You thought that warmth would continue forever, and for a long time, it did. Your childhood adventures with Kook were filled with pillow forts, catching fireflies, and watching Ironman approximately ten thousand times. But then puberty hit you both like a train, and in very different ways. His shifts started, and he shot up and bulked up, while you filled out in different places, both of you mutually pimply and suddenly awkward.

Childhood warmth morphed into a flame. Pleasant in small amounts but dangerous if left unchecked. So you tried your hardest to keep a lid on your growing feelings. Jungkook had long ago explained that shifters get one mate for life, usually another shifter, so that the person wouldn’t be destroyed by the other not reciprocating their feelings. He had explained that while “mate” implied something physical, it was actually so much more than that-two halves of the same soul residing in different bodies. Not someone to fuck with, literally or metaphorically.  The way he had talked about it at the time made it seem like something far off, like college, marriage, or having kids, so the two of you worked hard in tiptoeing around what that might mean for your friendship. Instead, the two of you continued as you always had, and if his parents shot the two of you knowing looks, neither of you acknowledged it.

As high school dragged on, the two of you became busier, him with varsity football and you with drama club. Your friend groups diverged, but you both still made the time to hang out on the weekend and nerd out together, your friendship never losing that special spark.

Until he started dating a fellow wolf shifter from a nearby school. You presumed it to be serious, since shifters didn’t really date casually due to the soul bond. You were never really the jealous type, and Jungkook’s new and improved bunny smile helped you to welcome his girlfriend into your friendship.  She “got” him in ways that you never could, and not just because she was a wolf. Toned, tall, and golden, you were fairly certain that she could run both literal and metaphorical laps around you. It didn’t hurt that she was cool and genuinely gorgeous. Why even worry about competing when it was clearly impossible? And toxic?

But you would be lying if you denied the smaller, less secure part of yourself that felt jealous and displaced. Jungkook still tried to make time for your more occasional Friday night hangouts, but she kept taking up more and more of his headspace. When not actively talking about her, he was checking his phone incessantly. Maybe you were being petty, but you still wanted him to be present in your life as well.

Slowly but surely, you started staying later at theater rehearsals and investing more time into other friendships. Correspondingly, Jungkook’s text messages slowed to a trickle. The two of you still ate lunch together most days, but it had become less intense than it had once been. Occasionally, he still gave you those signature one-armed hugs that you secretly loved, his chin resting on the crown of your much lower head. Years ago, he had given you an overly vague description of pack dynamics, and the need for physical affection, which confused you now. Shouldn’t he be getting said attentions from his soulmate?A small part of you was flattered that his new relationship hadn’t completely displaced you from his pack. “Bros before….” whatever, as the expression went.

You convinced yourself it was innocent, particularly since you had started dating an equally nerdy lighting tech you had met through drama club. If his affinity for the MCU replicated someone else’s, you couldn’t say. If his penchant for video games reminded you of a childhood friend, well, everyone loved video games. Nothing to see there. If when kissing him, you envisioned someone else’s face, well you would never let on. It was never as serious as Kook’s relationship seemed to be.

Though all parties involved knew the inevitable outcome of the blossoming relationship between the two shifters, you had never actually heard Jungkook use the word “soulmate” in reference to his girlfriend. Because of books and movies, people tended to think of it as insta-love, but that wasn’t (usually) how it worked in real life. For as as much as their inner wolves guided them, they were people as well: emotions, ambitions, tics and traits as much as anyone else.  Even in the “wild” (though you often snorted at the dramatic image this conjured), there were trial periods, rituals,  and rites of passage. But from the outside, the two of them were the complementary faces of a coin, peas in a pod, tied by the strings of fate, and any other metaphor that someone wanted to use. Maybe it was one of those things Jungkook just knew,without the need to put a label on it.

Or so you thought. Clearly, you didn’t know as much about the natural world (or matters of the heart) as you had thought. Most of your knowledge you’d gleaned from NatGeo or Discovery Channel documentaries- you were a suburban kid like any other. Your knowledge of romance came from novels with Fabio or one of his five thousand lookalikes on the cover, CW shows, and your admittedly very lackluster current relationship.  When Kook had found out  he had growled slightly, and immediately tried to mask it with a cough. But you’d known him long enough to not fall for his bullshit. You were indignant though-you’d been supportive of his relationship, so why couldn’t he support yours? Sometimes, when the two of you walked down the hallway holding hands, Kook would shoot daggers with his eyes, which you would studiously ignore. But the guy was either oblivious or braver than you gave him credit for.

All these pointed looks and tension should have painted a sign for you (in neon letters) that all was NOT well in paradise, but you were working so hard to suppress what you felt for your childhood friend that it surprised you as much as anyone else when Kook’s girlfriend broke up with him. “Broke up” was giving her more than she deserved-she had simply taken off one day. Wolf shifters tended to the transient side (Kook’s family being the exception), and one day when another pack was passing through, she decided to run off with the alpha. You didn’t know if she’d found “the one” or was just flighty. And you certainly weren’t interested in the politics of the shifter world, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out the bump in status she would get from a high school kid to an established alpha. But you couldn’t spare her a second thought- your best friend was destroyed. Suddenly, the golden jock of the school was acting like one of the emo kids: dark circles from lack of sleep, appetite wrecked, small things irritating him, or at other times, complete indifference when he should have been irritated.

You didn’t know if Kook had it in him to love anyone else- maybe that part of him had left with her.  And it wasn’t particularly at the forefront of your mind, but you were genuinely worried about your friend. With the fall play winding down and winter finals fast approaching, you had extra time on your hands that you were supposed to be using to study. Instead, you spent every waking moment with Kook…and some decidedly not wakeful moments. It was around this time that your own boyfriend broke up with you, citing your emotional unavailability. You felt bad for wasting his time, but you also felt free. It was a relief, honestly, to be over and done with it.

All of the distance between you evaporated in a few weeks, if that. You watched Deadpool and Ant Man, played Overwatch, and tried to distract your friend from his heartbreak. Often, he would fall asleep, head resting on your lap, tears dripping from the corner of his eyes, even in sleep. But his parents had told you later that was the only time he was seemingly at ease enough to sleep at all.

You knew there were things unsaid, but it wasn’t the time-not when he was emotionally vulnerable. You didn’t want to feel predatory, and it was during this time, things started to fall into place for you. Your own feelings began to crystallize, and you realized that it didn’t matter in what way you had him, but that he needed to be in your life. Even if romantic love never materialized, there were other kinds of love that were just as deep and important. And you realized that you loved him, in that way too. Everything else-it was a distraction. It was thoughts like this that strengthened your resolve when things seemed particularly bleak.

Over time, everything you gave to him, he gave back tenfold. He slowly began to smile again, and sleep through the night. But the two of you continued to come and go from school together, one doing homework and waiting for the other if at practice or rehearsal. He never dated again while in high school, and you both ended up going to the local university. You for the in-state tuition breaks and well-rated course of study that you wanted, and him….well, you weren’t sure why, but if the ways his parents smirked was any indication, you might have had an inkling. After a mandatory first year spent in the dorms, the two of you got an apartment near the campus. And though neither of you were ones for lengthy confessions you had an understanding: you were soulmates in whatever way a damaged wolf shifter and human could be.  Never alone and always taking care of each other. Which was why, you were so shocked when, one average day like any other, he got down on one knee, and offered you a small velvet box, telling you that his heart was in your hands,  as it had always been and would always be.

[gotgifsandmusings]

Full musings on Infinity War

Anonymous said to gotgifsandmusings: I'm just waiting for your thoughts on Thanos. I know there will be thoughts.

Ha, there are thoughts indeed. I was thinking of recording a video about it, but my mic seems to be messed up from the journey, and Griffin’s mic picks up everything...

Alright, fuck it, I’ll just write everything I was thinking about Infinity War, because overall I’d call it a frustrating viewing experience.

FULL MOVIE SPOILERS are below the cut, so you have been warned.

Very warned.

Okay then, let’s get into it.

I want to be able to have a neatly packaged thesis statement of “I did/didn’t like it,” but I do think my dissatisfaction with it is a bit more nuanced? Like, I was viscerally annoyed sitting through Ragnarok, and a lot of that were thanks to the expectations I had going into it. Here, I kind of didn’t care that much and didn’t read spoilers for that reason. Griffin was super hype to see it, I knew Lindsay Ellis didn’t react favorably to it on Twitter, and those two things alone were my only basis for any expectations.

I tend to have my mind wander think, “am I liking this?” during a movie screening. Had I been asked during this one, I couldn’t have clearly answered at all, at least not until the very end. There were some jokes and dialogue I laughed at, the action pieces always felt earned by the context, though not necessarily incredibly engaging. It was a mixed bag, maybe, but it was more just me kind of nodding along at the direction. Not in a “cool” way, but more a, “okay here’s what they’re doing now.” It became very obvious Thanos was going to get the all stones this movie, and equally obvious that it was not going to be fully resolved, so it was really the question of how and where the final action piece would fall.

Gamora’s death was some bullshit. I sort of felt like it sucked out the emotional tension, since this is just big purple dude from space beaming in with stones who doesn’t have any direct connection to 98% of the characters. But even more than that, I was having trouble understanding what they were going for there at all.

I didn’t see GOTG2, though I want to. However, I do know about the familial dynamics with Gamora and Nebula and Thanos. I think Gamora giving up the soul stone location to save her was seeded, at least from what I understand went down. And frankly, I can even track Gamora kissing Peter given the stakes, given she asked him to kill her, and so on. What loses me was why they painted her death as a sacrifice of Thanos’s, because it’s 100% clear this guy is an abuser to her and Nebula, and then even backing out of this, he’s 100% incapable of empathy, which is why his solution to ~famine~ is a glove that can literally do anything (like...you know...make resources more plentiful or increase education about birth control or something), and his solution is still “equal opportunity genocide.”

So that Gamora was explicitly shown to us to be someone he loved to get the soul stone sends all kinds of really dangerous messages, and also does it banking on the believability of his philosophical commitment to thinning the herd. Except that philosophy itself falls apart with minor scrutiny. His planet fell apart because of thin resources, so he can extrapolate that to the universe? And he really believes just arbitrarily murdering half the population would do anything, without addressing birth rates, or power structions, or anything at all?

It was just so, so, so weak as a motivation for him. And I’m absolutely flabbergasted critics are seriously comparing Thanos to Killmonger as two villains with “understandable” motivations. These are two massively different scales of understandability, right?? How is there any basis for comparison other than to say, “wow Thanos is a shitty villain after Killmonger.”?

The problem is, Thanos was the closest thing we had to a movie protagonist, since it was his journey. But there’s nothing remotely sympathetic about what he’s trying to accomplish, or particularly logical, and to have him be the one to “sacrifice” to get there was like...for what? Otherwise we wouldn’t have believed how hardcore he was?

I think how much this movie lands for someone is going to fall entirely on their view of Thanos. I wasn’t impressed and I don’t understand why this is the guy they built towards, and specifically him and the infinity gauntlet.

Because yeah, that damned gauntlet. I really can’t stand unclear power scaling like that. The gauntlet can do anything with all the stones in it, but minus two of them, Dr. Strange can go toe-to-toe with Thanos? It’s just...the fights became increasingly irrelevant because Stones of Random Power so things happen that need to happen just because. They are one of the most profoundly uninteresting plot devices I can think of.

Oh also? Hands down the worst moment was when Starlord was so full of Manpain about Gamora that he ruined Peter Parker and Tony Stark almost getting the gauntlet off Thanos. Just utter horseshit there. Not to mention even going with the mapain, he could have just shot him in the face or slit his throat instead of punching him, and then boom, movie over.

Idk, that moment, along with Gamora’s death earned heavy eyerolls. There are so many more inventive ways to have those guys lose a fight to him, or to have Thanos obtain the soul stone, and I don’t see her dead body being the necessity for any of them. Especially with the soul stone. Maybe Thanos creates some kind of illusion using the reality stone where Gamora thinks she has to get the soul stone in her possession to save Nebula, and then Thanos is able to take it. Idfk. Just...why this?

(Also the Guardians felt super off to me. I know stuff happened in GOTG2, but it seemed obvious they weren’t being penned by their usual writer.)

I do want to address the darkness of this movie. I got one ask saying it was acedia at its finest, and another saying that no, the thesis of the movie was that every life is important (Steve says this to Vision) and we fight for something saving or whatever. I lean more with the acedia anon.

If anyone is reading this and doesn’t know the spoilers, the movie ends with Thanos, having assembled all of the stones, snapping his fingers and killing half of the universe. The finger snap itself is mentioned as the threat and how easy it’d be fore him to do it at least 5 times, so it was certainly seeded. Then, we get a lovely sequence where we watch half the Wakandaans turn to dust, T’Challa among them, along with half the Avengers: bye bye Sam, Bucky, Elizabeth Olsen, every Guardian of the Galaxy except Rocket, Dr. Strange, and Peter Parker. That’s after already watching Vision, Gamora, Loki, and Heimdall get killed by Thanos.

Like yes, everyone knows this is not going to stand. We are shown about two minutes before this charming sequences Thanos going back in time because he has the time infinity plot device, and we also know Avengers 4, GOTG 3, Black Panther 2, the next Spiderman follow-up, and so on are in the works.

Oh except children in the audience. There was a BAWLING 7-year-old outside the theater, and what do you tell them? “Don’t worry, it’s just the Russo brothers doing it because they can, and they want to seem edgy and bold”? It’s not bold. It’s kind of the biggest cop-out possible, because we know nothing is permanent now, it’s probable everyone who died in this is brought back (...maybe Loki or Heimdall or all of the Asgardians are exceptions? maybe?), and it was basically just an exercise in the limitations of the movie medium for comic narratives.

But thank god we got to watch all of our heroes horrifically die with everyone reacting to them. Like good god, the very young Peter Parker had to be given time to freak out about how he feels sick and doesn’t want to go? What was the point of that? Or was that the reserved take, and in the full cut there was actually a death scene for Princess Shuri too or something.

Speaking of Shuri and Wakanda, I do want to say that I think there’s an element of this that’s in poor taste. Black Panther is *still* airing in theaters, and there have been how many pieces coming out about the importance of representation and what Wakanda meant to so many viewers. So the fact that it was in Wakanda when we see half the population dying... Like, I do like that Wakandans were given an instrumental role in end-of-the-world stakes. But then that meant that yeah, you’d watch half of them crumble to dust in that sequence. Yes, you know that half of San Diego is also crumbling to dust, but it’s a little more viscerally upsetting to see it.

And honestly, why couldn’t T’Challa have been a living Avenger in this? Why was his death particularly necessary? The body count of black characters was kind of high across the board when you take into account Heimdall and Sam (and out-of-universe Zoe Saldana as Gamora. Oh and then Nick Fury in the post-credits. Also is Valkyrie implied to have been with the half of the Asgardians that lived, or did she die off-screen? Cause I’m not sure I imagine her *not* fighting back.). I’m not sure if this is a point of contention with viewers for the most part, but there was just something about T’Challa’s unceremonious death alongside half his country where you’re like, “seriously, why is this what they’re showing now?”

Because guess what? It wasn’t an effective ending! We KNOW it’s being turned back, especially given the utterly ridiculous volume of deaths with key characters who we know have movies. You know what would have been a better ending for this? Just...Thanos snapping. That’s it. “You should have aimed for my head. *Snap*.” Cut to black.

There was no reason I can think of to have been this explicit about everyone’s deaths when they’re just temporary anyway. “Hey kids, enjoy your horror-free entertainment!” Especially Peter Parker’s death. That really, really felt like acedia at its finest.

Because part of the thing with acedia, as Gretchen has so eloquently explained, is that it’s a dark kind of writing where nothing really matters, bad shit just happens. And boy if *that* wasn’t the actual thesis statement of the movie.

Steve said that no, you save every life because that’s what you fight for. But that point was heavily undercut multiple times in the film. There seemed to be countless situations where a character had to either kill or consider killing someone they loved for the greater good (or not saving someone they loved, or giving Thanos keys to something really bad). It was utilitarianism vs. the power of emotional connection, and it was constant. Frankly, it was pretty cohesive.

Except magic man got magic gauntlet and did magic thing, so choice was rendered completely useless.

All told, once this movie is put together with Avengers 4, it’s possible there is some message that works to this end. But right now we essentially got half a movie based around an incredibly weak motivation that we know is all going to be back-dialed anyway. But thank god we got to traumatize kids in the name of ~boldness~ in the process.   

Loki gave over the Tesseract but tried to kill Thanos, and got punished for it. Peter pulled the trigger to kill Gamora like she asked and got punished for it. Gamora tried to stab herself and got punished for it. Gamora tried to save Nebula at the cost of an infinity stone and got punished for it. Trying to save Vision didn’t work. Trying to not save Vision didn’t work. 

Nothing mattered. Except apparently Thanos “sacrificing” Gamora. Wow, what commitment to bullshit philosophy and a laughable “solution” to a problem that is at best, temporary in nature.

This was a downer of a film, and not in a way that made me interested to see the resolution. I just want this out of Marvel’s system. It was event comics writing at its worst, and using an event that never could have really worked for this medium with this schedule of releases.

So okay, fine, my thesis statement is: I really didn’t like it. The longer I think about it the more annoyed I am. Had it ended five minutes earlier, I would have had major issues with it, but it would have been more of an “...okay then” kind of thing. Gamora got the shortest end of the stick, from what I can see. But nothing really came together, and the climax with the RANDOM EVIL ARMY was just going through the motions.

Honestly? If I had to sit through this or Dark World again, I’d choose the latter in a heartbeat. That was a mess and often boring in places, but at least the climax was inventive and fun, and there was lip-service to character development. This was just...an event. Can’t wait for it to not matter at all!

[peggyfromtheblockk]

Get to Know the Blogger

Hey! So, I’ve realized aside from a few comments here and there, I haven’t really talked on here at all! This sad thought made me realize it was time to share a lot of unnecessary stuff so maybe you can get a basic--detailed--idea of who I am. So here’s a bunch of word vomit and feel free to come talk to me, I promise I’m a lot nicer than a lot of my answers make me seem lol

Name: You can call me E.

Age: 20

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5’7

Languages spoken: English but I do remember a few random words of Spanish

Nationality & Location: American and Michigan

Work: Currently working in the infant room at a daycare

Favorite fruit: Blueberries

Favorite scent: Lavender, vanilla, or apple

Favorite animal: I really love otters and llamas

Favorite fictional character: Dana Scully of course (though, I do have a soft spot for Stella Gibson)

Favorite candy: KitKat’s but currently I’ll devour almost any chocolate given to me

Favorite holiday: Christmas and Halloween. But probably Halloween more because I love the prep and the actual day, whereas I just really love the prep for Christmas

Favorite season: I really like autumn because my hometown and college towns are so beautiful but I love spring because I love everything coming back to life

Favorite Social Media? Twitter, but like, stan twitter

Favorite thing about where you live? I just love that I have some of my favorite people within literal minutes of me. It’s a really comforting feeling. And we have a fair every year which is gross but entertaining at the same time

Favorite swear word? Probably shit, but fuck and damn do escape quite often

What are you listening to:  As of right now When I Kissed The Teacher from MM2

What Books Are You Reading? I have three books I haven’t finished and haven’t touched in like two months. We, Beaches, and Yes Please

What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? Around 1 in the morning usually

What Makes You Happy? A lot of things, though I don’t always realize that. I’m usually an “It’s the little things” person too. BUT to answer, Gillian and msr never fail to make me happy

What Are You Craving Right Now? I could smash a plate of spaghetti right now

What Is Your Gender? Female (she/her pronouns)

What Is Your Sexuality? Bisexual but I’m definitely like 85% women, 15% men

What’s The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? MAMMA MIA 2 IM SO EXCITED

What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? I’m a sucker for blue eyes

What Do You Wear To Bed? A tee and shorts usually but if I’m in The Mood I’ll wear just a tee (Yes, That Mood)

What Sounds Are Your Favourite? I love the sound of a campfire and babies laughing or babbling literally melts my heart

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Usually, their eyes but I’m drawn to those with a bright genuine smile

What’s something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Being With My People. They never fail to make me feel warm and fuzzy. Also when I get a cute little note from my favorite professor on an assignment because she is like the light of my life  

What are your hobbies? When I’m not in school I like to read and I’m able to write some. During school, you can find me watching x files, sleeping, or enjoying movies or music

What’s your favorite book? I love anything by Laurie Halse Anderson and really anything in the YA genre

What inspires you? Gillian is really inspiring to me because of all the work she does to help others. Bette Midler too

What’s your favorite place in the whole world? well, ok. So, I love Mackinac Island because it’s so beautiful and peaceful (even with thousands of tourists covering the tiny location) but I also just love when I’m with my people. When I’m with one of My People wherever we are, that’s my favorite place because I’m really happy. Also, I really love my work because nothing exists outside those four walls except the babies I take care of

What do you typically have for breakfast? A big cup of coffee and the occasional bagel or bowl of cereal

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? The first semester of my sophomore year I had this 60-70 page case study due for the end of the term for an education class. For at least a week I would stay up until about 5 am working on it, go to sleep, get up at 7:30 am and do it all over again. That’s been my most stressful and sleep deprived time of my life so far and just looking bad makes me shudder. At least I got a 99% on it

What makes you angry? A lot of things. Let’s not get into that.

What makes you nervous? Uh, everything. But thinking about the real part of my future (bills, working, adulting) really gets me going

Do you wear glasses: Yes and these specific frames fucking suck and my eyes keep getting worse (my doctor told me I’d need surgery before I turned 30, wtf thanks dude)

Do You Have Freckles? Yes and it used to bother me how many I have but thanks to fics that mention Scully’s, I’ve become fond of them

Do You Sing In The Shower? When my family or suitemates aren’t home, then yes I usually belt it all out but usually, I stick to humming

Do You Collect Anything? Postcards and shot glasses. And llama things now too apparently

Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? Pool because it’s clean and I can see the bottom

Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? It depends on the subject or the task but I almost always need some type of constant sound

Do You Save Money Or Spend It? Save it usually but I also tend to spend it all on a big impulse purchase

Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? That’s why I’m here lmao

Do You Have Strange Dreams? Alright so I just started taking Zoloft and before it, my dreams would be weird but like unrealistic-weird, like having-a-bad-trip-weird. But since starting the med, my dreams have become realistically-weird, like sometimes I wake up and question if that all really happened

Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? When I’m at school, yes, but when I’m home I usually just say fuck it because I’ll be back in it at least 8 more times

Do You Like To Read / Write? I love to read (fics, duh) but I do try my hand at writing but I struggle to finish anything and I’m terrified to post any of my work on here

Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? YES and it’s just barely halfway into summer break and I’ve got a huge assignment due the first day back

Do You Get Homesick? Sometimes but I really do love my college life and wouldn’t change it

Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? A mix but because of work, jeans most days

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sarcasm is my middle name

Do you believe in miracles? Yeah I think so

Do you have any special talents? I don’t think so but I’m good at taking care of kids. Sometimes my supervisor calls me the baby whisperer lol

Do you have any pets? Three cats and a dog and some succulents

Do you have any siblings? A little (half) brother and then technically I have four other half-siblings but they don’t know I exist

Do you believe in the paranormal? Absolutely. A big secret of mine….I actually could, and sometimes still can interact with spirits...Just call me Mrs. Spooky

Do you play any instruments? Nope but somehow I have managed to have a guitar and a keyboard in my possession. I do sing though and was in choir for 7 years

Do you have any crushes? Do celebrities or fictional characters count? If no, then no

Do you have any bad and/or anxious habits? I just have panic attacks a lot lmao and I tend to get really bitchy and mean when I’m anxious which I feel bad about but I can’t stop it

Do you believe in anything enough to fight for it? My right to marry whoever I want and have kids with whoever I want and be in control of my body. There’s probably more but those have been on my mind today

Do you keep a journal? Yeah a few actually but I lose motivation after a little bit and it takes so much to start it over

Do you like your age? Yes and no. I’m an adult which is cool and all but like….most of my friends are old enough to drink and it really pisses me off that I’m 9 months short of legally doing that. I’m super responsible and mature for my age like what will 9 months do to change that? It’s just stupid that I can join the military and go thousands of dollars into debt but I can’t have a glass of wine with my mom at a block party. UGH. American laws  S U C K

Do you like your own name? Yes, I love my name. When I was a kid I hated it, I didn’t get the sentiment of being named after someone. I finally got the sentiment around the time my grandma started getting sick. Now that she’s gone, I know just how blessed I am to carry on the legacy of my full name and try to make her proud.

Do you have any scars? Oh plenty, I’m really clumsy. My most notable is the one on my thumb from a freak childhood accident that nearly cut my entire thumb pad off. What a wild time

Do you have a strong accent? I’m from Michigan so apparently, I have a strong Midwestern accent but I don’t hear it. But anytime I’m on the phone/skyping with my friend from Missouri, she always points it out and laughs

Do you talk to yourself? Probably too much but also not in the way that I think is expected. I’m just constantly talking in my head like a constant tv interview about whatever the fuck I’m thinking about which 99% of the time is msr lol

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: All of the above

Beer or wine or neither: W I N E

When was your blog created: I knew this was the place to find the best gifs and fics and I wanted to be in the fandom more since I’m so new. Also, I wanted to try my hand at fic writing but I continue to lose the motivation or the courage to write/post

Last movie you’ve seen: Hotel Transylvania is pretty much on repeat in my house thanks to my little brother, so most likely it’s that

First job: My first job was customer service/field hand on a blueberry patch but my first legit legal job is/was at a daycare

Pet peeve: The first I can think of is slow walkers because I walk so fast because my legs are like a mile long

The color of your eyes: Green but they used to be giant sky-blue saucers

Night owl/day person: I don’t like getting up before 9 but past midnight I’m a grouch

Tattoos:  None yet, but I have two planned, it’s just a matter of money and timing

Like to cook: Not really but I can cook enough to survive which is typical for college

Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 20 Give the last two lines: “Action: Today I will be kind to myself. Affirmation: This is who I am, and I feel glad to be me” - We

Last Person You Cried In Front Of? I cried while holding a baby at work because my shift is changing so things will be different and also my hormones are really out of whack right now

If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? Any shade of purple

Name One Movie That Made You Cry: Beaches is my go-to crying movie, same goes for Steel Magnolias (what a typical answer, I know)

If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? Cher, Reba, DD, Bette Midler or Straight No Chaser. Reba especially though because she’s going to be near me soon but it's a 21+ event and I’m nine months short of that so I’m really pissed I can’t go

Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? Carve pumpkins but I do a damn good job wrapping too

Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? I loved it even though it made me sick. There’s a park down the street from my campus so if I’m really upset, I’ll go down there and blast my headphones and swing until I forget what’s happening. It’s really therapeutic

Name Something That Relaxes You: I have some relaxing instrumental playlists and I’ll put one of them on, turn on my lavender oil diffuser, and hop in a nice hot shower (and the hot water at college doesn’t run out so I can pretty much be in there for like ever really) or I’ll watch a fav movie that tends to soothe me

Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings give me life. The fluffier the better

When was the last time you cried? I’m sure I’ve cried today and just don’t remember. There’s literally not a day that goes by that I don’t shed tears but I literally cry so easy (This video or this video will make me cry almost instantly)

Where would you like to visit? I’ve wanted to visit Barcelona and California since I was a kid but in the past 4 years I’ve really wanted to visit New York and Greece

Describe your favorite people in the whole world? I’ll just sum all five of them up with they literally make me feel so warm, happy, and validated. I love them so much I could cry just thinking about them. And don’t get me started with Gillian because I do often cry when I think  about her I just really love her a lot ok

Who would be your ideal partner? Gillian Anderson, Dana Scully, or Fox Mulder of course. No, but I want someone who’s like me morals/humor wise

Most used phrase? Right now I’m really into saying “Yikes” but “god fucking dammit” leaves my mouth A LOT

Most used word? Probably “like” as much as I hate to admit it

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100% except when I’m with My People of course because I feel comfortable with them

Who was your first real crush? I had plenty of crushes during early school years but I think my first real one was on a school employee. Wowza I was head over heels for her and the very obvious knew-it-was-coming heartbreak hurt a lot

How many piercings do you have? Just my first holes in my ears but I’ve been thinking about getting my Helix pierced (upper portion of the ear)

How do you deal with stress? Uhhhh I panic first lol. I tend to listen to music—very specific songs that I know will drown out the anxiety/stress, or sometimes I’ll write what I’m feeling, go for a walk, read an absolute favorite fic in my list, watch x files, or I’ll just scroll through my thousands of pictures of GA lol

How many pillows do you sleep with? Three, sometimes four and then I have four accent pillows when I make my bed. Too many, as I’ve been told by everyone

Have you ever been to the hospital? Been to? Yes, plenty of times. Been in/admitted? No, thankfully

Have you ever met any celebrities? In 2016 I went to a rally for Hillary that Cher was speaking at so like…I was in the same room as her. AND THEN my friend shoved me up to her path as she was leaving and she touched my hand and I literally nearly passed out

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I am always deemed the mom friend so I’ll let you figure out that answer...

Have you ever drank underage? Yeah but nothing crazy. I just really like my wine. The craziest I’ve ever gotten was after I turned in that case study, I chugged half a bottle of wine (on an empty stomach), got bad heartburn, and then went to bed for like 14 hours

Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? Depends on the person, but I’d have to say no unless it’s Gillian/Scully/Stella

Are You A Picky Eater? I say yes, but compared to my brother and my uncle, no

Are You A Heavy Sleeper? Usually yes

Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? Just my momma, but I do see my *gag* father around my hometown every now and again

Are you religious? Not really. I used to go to church a few years back, and then went to another church which ruined a lot of stuff for me and then I went through some tough stuff that made me question, idk

Are you a good liar? I like to think so (I say that as if lying is something I should be proud of), at least to everyone but my mom because I swear I can pull off the best lie ever and she always sees right through me

Are you a clean or messy person? My home life is messy. My room is trashed but the things that are put away are organized. But life at college is completely opposite, my dorm is very clean and organized and I clean it top to bottom every weekend

If you made it this far, thank you for putting up with my crazy long first post, and I’m sorry that I practically vomited my thoughts into a jumbled mess but I wanted to share myself with you! 

[artificialqueens]

Technicolour (Shalaska) Chapter 2 - Catrina

A/N: Hello! Happy new year and that shit, I hope you’re doing fine! I’m back once again with the second chapter of this shitty fic. I really liked this chapter for no reason, it was really good to write so I hope you enjoy it and of course don’t doubt in giving me your opinions about it!

Story summary: The powerful Alaska Thunder knew her life was boring, like a monochromatic painting she was stuck in. So when she meets a charming mess with thick lips called Sharon Needles, Alaska knew she would be the perfect push that her life needed to go into technicolor.

Chapter summary: The party in Alaska’s office continues, along with the curiosity of get to know the girl at the other side of the room.

Chapter two: “Butterflies”

Alaska’s skinny fingers danced around her face, rubbing the soft skin and trying to wash the fatigue away. After four long and tiring meetings, she had started to get desperate; every time she looked at the clock, she wished she could go outside her office, talk to her employees just a minute to forget work and maybe, just maybe, see Sharon again.

“My wife wouldn’t like that. She doesn’t want me to think I’m gonna die soon” the man sitting in front of her desk sighed. “But I really need a life insurance for her and the kids”

Alaska opened her eyes slowly and smiled weakly. “It’s normal. If my partner talked about death, even just for a second, I’d go insane. Nobody wants the love of their life to say they’re gonna die soon. Nobody”

It was almost funny how sometimes Alaska seemed more like a mother to her clients that anything else. She used to listen them talk about how worried they were after an accident and that was how they decided they needed an insurance, or the story about the typical just-married couple trying to not fuck things up and getting an insurance for their new car, every client that got a meeting with her, had a different reason. It was fascinating.

“Are you married?” he asked, taking Alaska aback.

“No, actually. It’s just a guess” Alaska hated herself for thinking about how far she was from marriage and changed the topic. “The life insurance’s contract is quite simple and I promise you, it’s gonna be really useful someday”

“Well, maybe I just need to go on with the topic a little bit carefully, and not mention the word death that much” he shrugged and she nodded on a silent agreement. “Thank you, I’ll come back tomorrow to see the details and sign the contract”

Ten minutes —which Alaska counted anxiously— after he walked out of the building, she finally dared to go outside the office.

The first thing she heard was laugh. People laughing. A simple and happy sound that made her to smile immediately. In her way to find a comfy spot she could just sit and talk to someone, her eyes fell on Sharon. She was next to her father, with her characteristic bored grimace, shaking the hand of some of Harry’s friends. She imagined how annoying must be for Sharon to be in the middle of business men, hearing things she didn’t know or care about.

Even when Alaska wanted to go and talk to her, she knew the right thing was to keep the distance, using all the power she had to look away. But how could she look away, when her chest started to move frantic due her shaken breathing for the simple thought of Sharon’s warm lips against hers?

It was when Sharon looked back at her, smiling wide, when Alaska knew the right thing was bullshit. And only five seconds after that, she found herself smiling as wide as she did.

“I almost thought I wouldn’t get to see you again” was the first thing Sharon whispered when Alaska walked to her. “So much work, hm?”

The blonde tried her best to calm her excitement down and simply nodded. “What about you?”

“My dad still thinks I’m interested in this, you can imagine the rest” she rolled her eyes. “Also, did you notice that I’m the only fucking one here that is 21? Everyone’s kids are fucking under nine. I mean, c'mon Alaska, fucking nine!”

Alaska’s laugh made Harry noticed she was there. “Oh, miss Thunder! I’m so glad you came!” he yelled, making everyone in the little circle to look at her.

“Thanks, Harry” an idea popped in Alaska’s mind and a smile curved her lips immediately. “Actually, I was gonna ask if I can take Sharon with me for a walk through the office, she told me how interested she is in business and I’d love to introduce her to this world”

By that point, everybody turned around and started talking again so the only ones listening were Sharon, who smiled comletely excited and Harry, who was just as excited as his daughter.

“Well, of course! That would be wonderful!” he snapped, almost pushing Sharon closer to her. “Miss Thunder, that’s so nice. I’ll never be enough grateful”

Alaska almost felt bad. If Harry knew how bad she wanted to kiss Sharon again, and if he knew that was why she offered to show her the office, he would be so pissed. A weak smile was placed in her lips as her only defense.

“It’s alright” she gestured with both hands to Sharon to walk beside her. “I’ll like to show you the individual offices first. Follow me”

Sharon kissed Harry’s cheek. “I’ll be right back, dad” she muttered as she happily followed Alaska.

On the elevator next to her office, when the doors closed and they could finally be separated from the noise, Alaska felt a hand on her naked waist to catch her attention.

“What are the other floors for?” Sharon asked, and something that Alaska could notice was that this time she sounded truly interested in the answer.

Alaska turned and got closer to her. And closer, and even when she knew she shouldn’t, closer. Because it was Sharon and Alaska was so intoxicated by her it started to scare her. Finally, when Sharon’s back met the wall of the elevator and her hands were caressing the sides of Alaska’s face, was when she curled her arms around her body and learned over her ear to whisper.

“When clients aren’t happy with our service or want to get a change in their contract, they have the option to get a meeting with any employee to fix it”

“You make that sound so sexy, what the fuck?” Sharon complained in a breath. Alaska couldn’t do anything but to laugh at her confused face.

They jumped when the elevator got to its destiny. “So, what do you want me to show you first?” Alaska took her hand, dragging her out to the empty hall since everyone was in the familiar party.

Then Sharon realized, in that exact moment, how good it felt holding Alaska’s hand. She didn’t even notice she was holding it too tight until her knuckles went white around the other’s fingers. “I don’t know, you’re the expert here. Show me whatever you want” she replied, distracted by the woman walking in front of her.

Alaska turned around, stopping her walk to look suspiciously at Sharon as she raised a brow. “I thought you hated this”

“Well Lasky, I gotta admit, when you talk about it, it becomes more and more interesting” she smirked, pulling Alaska close into a hug to smash their lips on a messy kiss.

Hours went just like minutes, as both girls ran around the offices, playing around. Every sentence ended with a kiss and some laugh. They talked about themselves, senseless things Sharon said were funny, Alaska complained about her life, jokes about her mom and how she would’ve liked to be an artist like her brother, with they looking at each other in complete silence every time they didn’t find other thing to say. A comfortable and beautiful silence with the music in the first floor in the background.

And sadly, Alaska realized not only how much she was enjoying her company, but for the first time in a while, she was enjoying talking to someone. It was a pretty cycle, she talked and was listened, and she could talk and talk and talk again, and she knew Sharon would listen.

It wasn’t like Alaska was alone. She had Willam and Justin, and maybe Courtney. She had some friends and even when her mom was annoying, she knew she would always be for her, and her dad’s advices were the best ones. But it didn’t feel right. All their words, their attention, maybe Alaska needed more they could give. Or maybe it was just because it was Sharon.

Sharon… Alaska started thinking her name could be the answer for any question her mind could make.

Maybe everything felt good because it was Sharon. Alaska hoped so.

“I like acting, everything that has to do with theater” the words left Alaska’s mouth almost like a sigh, as she rested her head on Sharon’s lap. She felt her hands running through her hair. “I used to be the best in drama class”

After a long tour through all the offices in which they talked about everything except business, they finally decided to rest on a couch in the 10th floor, the last one. They couldn’t listen to the noise in the first floor anymore, which relaxed Alaska’s nerves. The far they were from Harry, the better.

“That’s… so weird” Sharon laughed. “How did you end in this job?”

“Theater is good, but I couldn’t find myself on it. I wrote some plays and acted on them but… the stress was killing me. And here, where I can control everything, I can solve any problem with a calculator and feel amazing about it” she explained, closing her eyes for a second.

“Well, that’s better than ‘I only do this for money’ a lot of people use” Sharon said bitterly, getting Alaska’s soft laugh.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You haven’t talked about your job. How is it?” Alaska asked, receiving a nod from Sharon.

“I’m mostly working on a friend’s beauty store, I sell some stuff and do samples on people’s faces. It’s not a really big deal so I only go three times per week. And to kill my free time I work with my best friend Sutan. He’s a photographer so when he gets models I do their make up and get part of the money”

“And your dad doesn’t like it” she remembered what Sharon had said in her office.

“Neither does my mom. Obviously she’s gonna think it’s stupid, she’s just as close-minded as my dad is” she laughed sadly.

“That’s pretty fucked up”

“All in my life is fucked up” with a shrug Sharon let Alaska know how used she was to it. “But it’s okay, it’s not like I still depend on them so I don’t care about what they think of my life and job”

“Parents are amazing, some of them just don’t understand” Alaska said softly, loving the way Sharon’s hand caressed her hair.

“Yeah, you’re right” was the only response from Sharon. “Thanks for this, it’s nice talking with someone”

“No problem. I like listening”

That’s what I’ve doing my whole life, listening and listening and never being able to talk, Alaska wanted to add, but the moment was too sad to make it worse, so she just smiled and put her feelings aside. This was annoying normally, but her voice was so pretty and if she had to put them aside to listen to it, that wouldn’t be a problem.

The moment felt real, just like any other. Soon a comfortable silence made its way and the only sound was their calm breathing.

Alaska wanted to freeze time. In that exact second, stay like that forever. But minutes ran out of her hands and soon Sharon had to go back with her dad, who was waiting patiently in the principal door of the building, with a little smile on his lips. He thanked Alaska and with his arm around his daughter, she saw them walking out.

A sigh came out of Alaska’s lips as she went to take her bags from her office and walked to Courtney’s desk to meet her before going. She was always the last one to go home, at nine p.m, after Alaska.

“Miss Thunder! Are you leaving now?” the short blonde asked and she nodded. “Oh, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then, have a great night!”

The way home was always tiring for Alaska; she used it to organize her mind and prepare herself for the next day. But this way home, her mind couldn’t think of the calls from clients, the reports she had to fill or her meetings with upset clients asking this and that. Her mind was full of Sharon and the guilt of being with her knowing it was wrong. Completely wrong.

Nothing made sense for her, not with Sharon around her mind. The thoughts of her and the memories and just the fact that she kissed her hours ago, made her head burn.

“It’s Harry’s daughter, fucking hell” she tried to convince herself.

Once she got to her apartment, sat on the couch, looked at the white wall in front of her and her fingers touched her lips softly, she sighed.

She shoved her hand in the pocket of her coat, reaching for her phone. When she finally found it, she held it in front of her face and looked at it with a frown before she logged onto the contacts list and found the name of Sharon.

She had her number. She could call her and listen to her voice… or even better, she could manage to get a date with her. There were a lot of possibilities, and Alaska wanted to do all of them.

A call may be too much. A message will be enough? she bit her bottom lip as she typed something and two seconds ago deleted it. She shook her head, typing and deleting it again. Nothing seemed to be cool enough for Sharon to read. She finally gave up and typed something simple but that she hoped worked.

From: Alaska To: Sharon xo Hello, Sharon :) I just wanted to let you know I got your number :) byeee xoxo Oh and by the way, I’m Alaska

“It’s so dumb… she won’t probably reply” she sighed. She threw her phone to her bed and went to her closet to take a pijama. Once she got dressed, she kicked her high heels and walked to the bathroom.

While she brushed her teeth, she looked at her reflection. Was she good looking? Well, her nose and lips were on point, and her eyes were cute so yeah, she was. She wondered if Sharon would notice that. She really wanted her to.

A 'pop’ sound made her jump in her spot. It was her phone! Sharon had replied! She ran to her bed and took the phone just to see the name on the screen, not caring about the toothbrush she threw carelessly on the bathroom sink.

From: Courtney To: Alaska Good night miss Thunder!!! Just for you to know, I got your schedule for tomorrow, and it’s super short, you only have two meetings at 12 pm!!! I’ll send it to you tomorrow in the morning. Sleep well! :) <3

Alaska sighed with disappointment. Of course, Sharon wouldn’t reply that soon. She wasn’t even sure if Sharon would reply at all…

Another sound. She looked down, this time hopeless, until she saw the name on the screen.

From: Sharon xo To: Alaska Hey ! Ya took so long to text me… I started to miss ya :(

Her heart jumped on her chest and she felt it falling to the floor. She opened the message immediately, with a smile already on her lips. She thought that maybe was too soon to reply at it. She didn’t want Sharon to think she was crazy, after all.

She waited —tucked on her bed, with the smile still on her lips and her teeth brushed— exactly five minutes to reply. And of course, she thought of a better reply that what she send first.

From: Alaska I’m sorry. I just got home, there was a lot of traffic :( did you have fun with your dad today though?

For her surprise, Sharon replied almost immediately, which made her smile even bigger.

From: Sharon xo Kind of. He explained some shit until you came and saved me from that torture. But he’s really happy I learned what is a social request! I wish I could have spent more time with you, today was fun… maybe another day ? ;)

“She wants to see me again!” Alaska yelled with excitement, dropping her phone by accident. She took it again and typed as fast as she could.

From: Alaska Yes! I’d love to. When it’s good for you?

From: Sharon xo What about Friday?

It was Monday. Perfect. She could stand another few days until she could see Sharon again.

From: Alaska Sounds good! I finish at 6 every Friday so we can go for dinner after that :)

From: Sharon xo Cool !

From: Alaska Do you know The Dot?

From: Sharon xo No What is that ??

Alaska immediately pictured Sharon’s cute confused face in her mind. Her lips pursed, with a frown and the dimple in her chin adorably standing out. She couldn’t help to smile at that thought.

From: Alaska A restaurant! It’s near my work building. We can go there

From: Sharon xo Sure I have work but we can meet there at 6:30 What do yuo think ? I meant you Fuck

And of course Alaska thought her misspelling was adorable.

From: Alaska Yes!

From: Sharon xo Oh and Alaska Can ya pls not tell my dad about this ? He stills thinks I’m his little baby and it drives me crazy I swear. But I’ll tell him later I promise

Alaska wanted to laugh. Of course if would drive Sharon insane, Harry treated her as a child with 21 years. His actions were too sweet though, she knew why Sharon didn’t wanna break his heart.

From: Alaska Sure, don’t worry about it

From: Sharon xo Thanks. I gotta go to sleep. I’m tired as fuck

She wished Sharon could stay a little longer, but she wasn’t selfish enough to ask her to.

From: Alaska Good night Sharon :)

From: Sharon xo Good night Alaska <3

A sigh came out of Alaska’s lips as she pulled her phone away, with the impossible to erase smile that was hurting her cheeks. She felt like a teenager again, with the butterflies running around her stomach which she had to deal to sleep with.

The next morning, Alaska found herself enjoying the weak wind blowing her hair, sitting in front of Willam, who seemed about to punch her in the throat.

“His… daughter?” her friend asked incredulous, looking at Alaska through her lashes as she drank her morning coffee. “I mean, you mean, his —fucking and real— daughter?”

“Yeah…” Alaska replied a little bit of ashamed. The idea of telling Willam ended well in her mind, but why did she think it could end well in real life too? “I know it’s not the best idea ever but…”

“Are kidding me? It’s the worst idea ever, Alaska!”

“I know what you’re thinking, but trust me. She’s so pretty, funny and charming, she looks like a goddess and I swear her tits are heaven”

“Stop right there” Willam held her hand out to shut Alaska up. “Pics?”

Alaska blinked a couple of times, processing Willam words. Finally she shoved her hand on her purse and pulled her phone out.

Even when Sharon didn’t give her any information out of her number, she was determined to know more about her. That was why the first thing she did in the morning was to call her favorite detective (more known as Courtney) and ask her to find Sharon in any social media.

She found her Instagram, Facebook and even Twitter account. Alaska couldn’t be happier with the results.

She logged onto Sharon’s Instagram and scrolled down her profile. A lot of pics, mainly of Sharon, made her heartbeats went insanely fast. She decided to show Willam one of the more recent ones —and Alaska’s favorite by far— of Sharon wearing a beautiful velvet dress.

“Well, I can’t say if she’s funny or not, but she definitely has good boobs” was Willam’s first reaction. “She’s pretty, you can take her out to dinner and fuck her brains out after that in your apartment”

“Yeah…” Alaska muttered, pulling her phone again in her purse. “It’s not only that… I mean, yeah, she’s gorgeous, but I think I like her more than her body”

“Oh” Willam left her coffee aside and Alaska noticed how stunned was by her words. “That’s… that’s different”

“Yeah”

“And weird”

“Weird?”

“Well, for you…”

“Oh, yeah”

An uncomfortable silence filled the table of one of the most expensive restaurants in all the city. It was a tradition for them to get breakfast at Maccio’s since it was Willam’s favorite, one time every week since Alaska got the company.

She tried to go back at her fruit bread when Willam spoke.

“Go ahead”

“What?” Alaska asked, with her mouth full.

“First, swallow. Second, go ahead. You said she kissed you, right? I bet she likes you. Who cares if she’s Harry’s daughter? No one has to know. 'Cause let’s be honest, when was the first time you met someone not only to fuck casually? Not last, but first. Do you remember?”

“Like three years ago? Maybe”

“And how did that end? She went back to London, promised to send you letters and come back in a year but oh, spoiler alert! She never did none of those things. And then, the next girlfriend you had, remember what happened?”

“She cheated on me” Alaska replied, more comfortable with the fact than what she should. “And I only knew 'cause she was dumb enough to take that boy to Justin’s gallery”

“And the next one…” Willam moved her hand to indicate Alaska to continue talking.

She sighed, dropping the fork over the dish with her bread. “She was a little bit smarter than the others. She just left me. No lies or promises while she walked away”

“There you fucking have” her friend nodded softly. “This is your chance, Alaska. If Sharon wants you too, nothing else matters. But if Sharon is one of those girls I wanted to kill years ago and drops you, then she’ll miss an amazing girl to be with”

Alaska nodded, feeling brave enough thanks to her words. “Fuck Willam, have I ever told you how much of a goddess you are?”

“Several times” she bragged.

[drunkendragons]

1, 9, 12, 14, 15,18, 20,21, 41, 55, 66, 80, 89 - ⭐️

Okay! Wow! Thank you, ⭐️!!

1: Themeaning behind my url

okay this answer is dumb but there Isnt One. I was like- 15 when I madethis blog? And I guess its just I really like dragons and Back Then I waslike “LETS GET DRUNK!!” despite being a little punkass who never drankanything except for soft drink (that hasnt changed, by the way, theonly difference is now when i yell Lets Get Drunk its a Newsies Reference)

9: Tattoos iwant

aite so -at this point in time- i Definitely want a Newsies-ThemedTattoo, and the AH (Achievement Hunter) logo, agggeesss ago i wanted to getheadphones tattoo’d on my wrist and i think thats still a good idea? i alsoreally really REALLY want to get a constellation somewhere on my body. or justStars. Or the Moon. OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED I was considering getting atattoo sleeve of the night sky. Whattdya think?

12: Ideasof a perfect date

Seeing a movie, or a theatre show, holding hands and walking aroundlooking at stuff, going to a cat cafe, spraypainting the inside of an abandonedbuilding, climbing up on a rooftop and watching the stars and just talking.None of this has to be all on One Date, but just- yeah. Or hell, just gettingjunk food and cuddling while watching a movie at home. I know, pretty basicright? 

14: Piercingsi want

So I already have my ears pierced and thats all I want. Im like WayMore into Tattoos than piercings (probably because- Storytime! When Igot my ears pierced, the next day when I woke up the pretty jewel part ofthe earring was pulled inside my ear and half my face was covered in blood andthats also the story of my first surgery! It fucking sucked! Ironically thecolour of the jewel was Red. But Yay! No more piercings for meee)

15: Relationshipstatus:

Uhhhh thats a good question?? I dunno what is happening Ever but @monsoon-blue​ and i have big gay crushes on each other if that countstowards anything?

18: Phobia

Spiders and the dark! Fuck Both of Those Things! (By the dark I mean Inside Dark not Outside Dark because Outside Dark isDifferent) 

20: Height

Short!

21: Are you avirgin? 

I AM THE WORLDS HORNIEST VIRGIN!!

(Slightly TMI:Yes, I am a virgin but masturbation is fun so i mean yolo amirite)

41: Haveyou ever snuck out of your house?

Yes but I’d rather not talk about it because the Reason for theSneaking was not a good time

55: Have youever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Yes and it was a loooooongggg time ago, I should do that again sometime

66: Haveyou ever had detention?

Yesp! Multiple! We also had this thing at my primary schoolcalled ‘Deckings’ where it was just a Detention but you had to sit andstare at a wall while sitting on a deck (hence the name) andjeez I got SO MANY of those cause Younger!Me was an Asshole. The most recent detention was for showing up to school late, but it wasactually really fun because two of my friends were in detention too (one forshowing up late and the other was out of uniform) and the teacher likes me (andhes just really nice in general) so he just let us talk and I showed one ofthem what the Nederlander Theater looked like (cause I have a picture of it onmy phone) and it was a Good Time

80: Have youever sang in the shower?

Uh,,,,,, sweetie,,,, im a theater kid,,,,,,, i dont shower withoutsinging,,,,,My favourite thing to sing in the shower is Santa Fe (Newsies) or anything fromSchool of Rock but dont let me sing King Of New York because i will dance andslip and die

89: Haveyou ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

im a lil bitch when it comes to scary movies. i refuse to watch themalone or at all and usually when i do end up watching one iget really paranoid about Everything for a few hours so um,, no thank you

Thank you for the ask!!!

[tube-thoughts-blog]

tube thoughts vol. 4

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Scarecrows (1988) *Through betrayal, and hellish karma, a well armed and military trained heist squad has to ditch flying, under the radar, and land in a demonic cornfield next to an abandoned and creepy farmhouse.* 2 1/2 stars

Fright Night Part 2 - (1988) *In therapy for vampire paranoia. driving around in a yellow mustang -like Kolchak the Night Stalker -another vampire hunter. take the skinheads bowling. werewolf with a mullet. performance artists worse than plague. Elvira tries to replace Vincent Price on late night. Salma Hayek esque lioness snakecharms her own Edward Cullen that she can firepoker for eternity.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: "It's A Miserable Life" *A worse fate than getting gunned down running the burger drive thru, late at night, is being stuck in a death-dream where you can't quit your burger drive thru job.* 1 1/2 stars *An unlucky (Friday 13th) 'new blood' drifts into the nightmare ward of the hospital.* 3 stars

Z Nation: Home Sweet Zombie *Zombies in Tornado Alley. firefighter zombies. Jamaican bbq rat. Murphy-- my favorite asshole of the apocalypse. powerdrill skull surgery. playing cards for pills. electric- picket-fence and nice lawn. sympathy for the z. Wizard of Oz munchkin joke after a zombie-nado.* 2 1/2 stars

Z Nation: Resurrection Z *Religious nuts who worship zombies (seen that before). safe haven that's not so safe (seen that before). wolves in sheep's khakis. clean and bathed zombie apocalypse survivors (I like that better than the filthy TWD). turning Z for the Lord. zombie food fight. Murphy's Z immunity. Zombiefreak Jerry Falwell gonna turn you z to save thee. Murphy- Messiah of the Nation Z. Z Nation's 'Rick' more heroic than TWD's Rick?* 2 1/2 stars

"Hack-O-Lantern" *Pumpkin' lovin', prissy, and pretentious paw paw wants his grandson (that he, himself,  fathered on his daughter's wedding day) to grow up to be Lucifer's lantern. The boy comes of age and is a menace, daydreaming, with his headphones on, about being heavymetal seduced by Pat Benatar and Queen of the Damned-- Aaliyah, keeping an altar to the goat one and candles from bed-bath-beyond, having a pentagram tattooed butt cheek showing, in  public, punk girlfriend & doing prison yard exercises-- locked away in his room all day preparing for his ascension.  Plus a creep, in a cheap mask, carving people up. This kind of crap had cornpones carried away with the occult.* 1 1/2 stars

--- Paranormal State: Season 1 episode 1

*These ghost hunting shows can really oversell and under deliver in thrills.

Ghost Adventures has nice cinematography when they're showing the spooky places, but when they  turn the lights off the three jerks go a little too over the  top in their moronic pursuit of the paranormal.

Ghost Hunters is bland. Just a group of average joes who look like they're tired from working a day job.

"Hunters" has nothing that's aesthetically pleasing or interesting in its framing and when they turn the lights off it's just as underwhelming as the rest of them.

This show, Paranormal State, suffers the same fate, with the phony tech and justifying the so-called bumps in the night as ghosts, but I do like the 'earnestness' and the cast of college age investigators and in this episode they at least make an awkward little boy feel good about himself and relieve his family of related stress.

It doesn't get to the point of  exploiting the kid & family as they're entertaining us with a spook reality tale, I guess.*

2 1/2 stars

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Crystal Lake Memories -----------------------------

*Part 1: Filmmakers advertise and promise the most scary movie ever, without even having any idea what kind of movie they're going to make. The film surprises everyone in just how huge it is. Actors and crew look back fondly, and without regret, on the phenomena and impact it had on their lives/careers.

Part 2: No one can figure out how/why there's another one and how/why Jason is in it. Special fx guru backs out.  Another group of young victims. Dueling actors taking credit for work of grown Jason. Movie is a hit.

Part 3: 3D gimmick is introduced. The show is moved to a warmer climate. Inventive 3D kills. Jason gets his iconic hockey mask.

Part 4, The Final Chapter: A new slasher director is chosen. Salty old stuntman dawns the mask. Jason's father, Tom Savini, returns to kill his creation. Jason's 'zombie' tendencies are mentioned. No one in the production believes a runt, like Corey Feldman, can go toe to toe with Vorhees. Filmmakers try to tie the series together, while fans find plotholes in between the events of all these. It's decided characters are more important than kills. Everyone loves Crispin's eccentricities. Actors go through hell to get the stunts shot. Filmmakers are able to get most of the film past the censor board and to the audience where it once again is a hit.

Part 5, A New Beginning: New exploitation director. Method actor tries to decide whether Tommy is a monster or victim. Feldman is too busy to come back for more than just a cameo. Actors are initially kept in the dark about being in a Friday the 13th movie until Jason shows up on the set. New, secretive killer. High body count. Everyone agrees that this movie is sleazy. A real life playboy bunny who happens to be named vorhees joins cast. The director gets unprofessional and raunchy with his actors' scenes to the shock of other production crew. A lot of Rated X material gets cut from film. Continuity problems in the editing process isn't given a fuck about. Fans disappointed it is not actually Jason. It's compared to Halloween 3.

Part 6, Jason Lives: New director wants gothic horror like Frankenstein. Tommy no longer crazy, he becomes the series -Van Helsing- misunderstood hero. A lightning bolt resurrection makes Jason an unstoppable force. Tongue and cheek elements also infused. Feisty final girl chosen. Self aware humor laced throughout. The cast is chosen to be likeable. Jokes set up for audience participation. Lighter, more family atmosphere compared to part 5. Producer is criticized for being a cheapskate. Improvisation makes the film even better. A sense of mythology comes into play. Cliffhanger ending, about Jason's father, never used. Pop element added with Alice Cooper's song. Sadly, this Jason loses at the box office, but  Jason Lives lives big at the videostore where fans ripped off by part 5 come back to series.

Friday, The Thirteenth, the series: Not completely related to films, a late night tv horror series is born. It had to be cheap and it had to be scary, the premise being cursed antiques. Some fans feel left out with the series not having Jason in physical form in it. Big name directors like Cronenberg take part. Syndication allows for creativity. The shows splatter and occult nature comes under fire when it moves to primetime.

Part 7, The New Blood: Jason gets a reluctant director and a powerful new foe. A character with a scarred Crystal Lake history is born to replace Tommy. A superb stuntman takes on the role of Jason and emotes like none before under the mask and makeup. A lot of gay actors are hired giving the chemistry an interesting challenge. Ratings board ruins as many kills as they can. The movie's real horror is the swamp setting filled with real gators. Stunts are favored over makeup fx. Non-horror-fan producer clashes with director. A lot of the annoying cunt producer's decisions override the director's great fx. Fans want a director's cut that they'll never get because paramount destroys outtakes. jason loses out to Freddy at the box office. The final girls all want to return to series.

Part 8, Takes Manhattan: It's decided that Jason needs to take on bigger fish. Budget restraints make the ambitious  nature of the film shrivel to an extent. Jason's physical design is always changing. Fans challenge logic and continuity. How did Crystal Lake attach to the ocean? the new heroine is aquaphobic and menaced by her uncle as much as the boogeyman. Being not as gore ridden, this incarnation is referred to as the Disney Friday the 13th. Jason continues to defy logic because filmmakers just don't care. Established actor dislikes his demise. Film not really filmed in Manhattan for the most part, except for great Times Square shots. Toxic waste sewer silliness brings boy jason back. NYC officials do not love 'Jason loves NYC' slasher poster. The new setting and advertising campaign makes Jason more pop culture. But the series  suffers decline in quality and box office returns. Longtime producer leaves series.

Part 9, Goes to Hell: Original creator returns and wants to make Freddy v. Jason. Freddy's home, New Line Cinema, takes over. Producers shake up things and lose hockey mask. the Jason zombie is killed to attempt to build a new mythology for the series. A young, enthusiastic crew ponder whether they got in over their heads. the series' cliches are skewered. An ensemble cast replaces the typical teenager victims. Jason gets a sibling like Laurie Strode. KNB creates gore filled naked special fx. Homoerotic shaving scene is added to counter sexist kills. Subversive and taboo is the director's goal. Filmmakers find a way to keep gore scenes from disappearing forever by submitting one version to theaters and rating board and an uncut home video version. Actress not happy with distasteful demon lizard rape scene added to film without her knowledge or approval. Demonic puppets scene, sadly, left out of film. Fan service, Freddy featured, shock ending added. A lot of fans disappointed in not having an 'all Jason- all the time' movie.

Jason X: A stalled 'slasher legends' showdown causes filmmakers to look for new ideas. What some might have seen as a silly sci fi premise, and a popsicle boogeyman, get shifted into the hands of an interesting creative team, including an offshoot of Cronenberg, and a Cronenberg cameo. Sex and slashing carries on into the stars. Digital fx sub for ambitious splatter and setting. Jason X has to keep up with the Screams and I Know What You Dids. Thanks to future tech, cyborg jason is born. Management issues with New Line, and a fading genre, allow Jason X to sit in limbo for years. When it is released, it's the poorest received of the series. The crew defends its legacy.

Freddy vs. Jason: A lot of potential freddy v. jason filmmakers were in love with their script ideas. people gave up other opportunities to be involved with the film. Jackie Chan replaces Kane Hodder, jk, about Jackie Chan, Hodder leaves. This Jason gets special treatment and his own stuntman. Jason becomes an introspective character. Original writers want to take zero credit for Jason's added fear of water. The logic of Crystal Lake being so near Freddy's hometown is questioned. Climax, unintentionally, becomes comedic. So many are letdown about the smackdown dominating the scares.

Remake: Michael Bay and friends begin the 2000s with cashing in on 70s and 80s slasher film  After butchering Texas Chainsaw, the next target is Jason. A complete Pscyho remake style remake  is tossed aside, thankfully for something else. Jason goes home to texas? backwoods. Filmmakers try to skirt this issue by saying there's Crystal Lakes all over the states.  The new Jason is sort of a freak, himself, and a fan of the series. Jason goes back to running instead of magic walking. Stereotype campers return, unlikeable, for the most part. No interesting twists and a yawn ending. Hardcore fans try to kill the film, but it still does well among remakes. Jerk- cast and crew diss the fans for not liking their reimagining of the series.

Overview: everyone is proud to have been in the series.*

2 1/2 stars

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ABC & Disney Halloween (10-29-1989) --------------

*A security guard, at a Disney museum, channels Dana Carvey with his impressions, then talks  to a pumpkin head version of himself in a magic crystal ball.

The magic ball shows him Donald's nephews going trick or treat.

Newscasters from the Bay Area thank citizens for positive response to 89 earthquake relief.

Movie legend Peter Graves shows us the new 'not your father's' Oldsmobile.

An 80s aerobics chick clad in spandex talks about her comfy clothes and shoes.

Disney's Splash Mountain might look fun, but the only way out is a long... way... down (weeeee).

A witchy casts a spell on Donald's duck feet to make him dance to her beat.

A ghostly, evil cat gets Pluto all riled up luring him into a trap/trial where his crimes against cats are brought out. The hissing cats animation/sound fx are great. the cats plan to roast poor pluto with flames that come alive. however, it's all a bad dream where pluto slept with his toosh to close to a fire. there's a sweet ending where pluto makes peace with a kitten.

If you're an 80s bizness professional, Lens Crafters can set you up with some giant grandma glasses.

Pumpkin head shows us the true icon of Halloween, a pumpkin, in Disney's Sleepy Hollow adaptation.

In colonial New England, the animals even loved to drink a good ale. Crane keeps a snack pie in his school book. The bully tries to pass off a big boned woman to puny Crane.

Safeway brings us a safe way to carve pumpkins for little ones.

Turbo Grafx 16 is turbo charged.

The stick figure Crane pigs out while Bones tries to exploit his fraidy cat nature with a good tale. We know the rest.

In a surreal, silly twist pumpkin head switches places with the security guard.

Try a little tenderness on tropical aisle with a cat eyed beauty and a bounty coconut chocolate bar.

Feed your baby 'pear flavored gerber and get prodigy for your pc and your baby.

The Real Ghostbusters 'Halloween Door' is up

after a teen girl sitcom called "Free Spirit" --Halloween special-- (which I skip thru but can appreciate for its cheesiness)

We now return to Ghostbusters. Slimer has decided to go as Peter for Halloween. Slimer ruins Peter's hot date.Citizens United Against Halloween and Lots of other Stuff We Don't Like (basically anything fun for kids) seeks the Ghostbusters help. The stuffy jerks use a big mad scientist deathray to almost ruin Halloween. Instead, it opens a door, in a red sky, for demons. We get a musical number, from beyond style. Luckily, one Drew Barrymore esque little girl is the key to saving the day with her dedication to trick or treating.

ABC ends their halloween special with a truly frightful creature feature... The Last Days of Richard Nixon...oooh.*

2 1/2 stars

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Swamp Thing: The Living Image *Dr. Arcane tortures Swamp Thing with the memory of his dead wife by using a plastic surgery floozy clone. This show reminds me of a very unselfaware version of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.* 1 1/2 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Gateway Shuffle *Ma Barker's eco-terrorists. damsel in distress. monkey virus.* 3 stars

Downtown Julie Brown presents MTV's Rocky Horror Video Show (Richard O'Brien hosts) -----------------------

*musical numbers from the motion picture.

Herbie Hancock plays a casio keyboard with funky animation.

Martin Short is a fugitive.

Subscribe to Playboy magazine and have a closet full of great writing and women, also a sensual collection of centerfolds on vhs.

"Knock Knock, it's Randy." MTV Halloween, let him in, whoever he is. He sounds like Jack from  The Shining.

Kurt Loder used to be a music journalist / walking dead zombie.

1 900 Hot Rock can win you your own PEPSI vending machine and a limo ride.

Don't be an 80s yuppie with dandruff, use Head & Shoulders and get laid.

Stop running in place, it messes up your feathered hairdo and you could be in art school at the art institute.

Time Life Video presents classic Universal horror movies like Frankenstein for the introductory price of 14.99, have your credit card ready.

I love those blue backgrounds with the huge yellow type, and I love the old creative MTV logo ads.*

3 stars

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Wonderful World of Disney's 'The Great Cat Family' *Walt, himself, tells us about one of his favorite species, focusing on the domestic cat. We drift back to Egyptian time wherethere were hieroglyphics and monuments to the animals that they were able to tame. Even 3 thousand years ago, people used silly 'here kitty' noises to gain the confidence of the feline. Cats, on the other hand, always toyed with man, and might have used man as much as man used him. Basically, Egyptians would have loved cat videos. Elaborate cat funerals were held where cats got bowls of milk for eternity. At the risk of death, cats were smuggled out of Egypt. Cats became common but retained their uncommon nature. Cats saved mankind from plague and famine. Even though this great service helped man, superstition led to cats being hunted as evil because of their nocturnal habits.* 2 1/2 stars

Garfield's Halloween (10-24-86) --------------------

*garfield is disturbed from a nap by binky the clown, warning garfield to get into shape in order to get halloween candy!

Scared Silly starring Ronald McDonald and the Chicken MCNuggets.McNuggets were invented by graverobbers, oddly enough.

Odie wears a pumpkin head and laps water.

Garfield does standup about Odie's ugliness and realizes he can exploit Odie for twice the candy.

Garfield points out how his owner, John, could be on the tv show 'Hoarders.'

Orange Beard the pirate steals some of John's pumpkin pie and introduces Odie, the stupid, his first mate. Garfield realizes he may be a little too timid to go trick or treating, even though he boasts to the opposite.

What do you put in your McDonald's Halloween McPumpkin? Collect all 3.

Simon's mysterious past is revealed in The Wizard.

Stop the Madness, don't use drugs says Jane Wymann.

Garfield and Odie float down a river to a spooky house on a small island. The home is inhabited by a disturbing looking old man who could easily fit in on Ren & Stimpy. He tells the two household pets a hundred year old story about pirates and buried treasure. Oh, crap, it's John Carpenter's 'The Fog.' Garfield is ready to leave the island but the old man steals the boat and the candy. The ghost pirates arrive at midnight, odie blows their cover, they try to swim for it, garfield almost drowns, odie saves him, the candy is found on the shore, garfield shares with odie. garfield skips the all night pirate movie marathon and sleeps instead.*

3 stars

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Paranormal State season 1 episode 2 *A single mother and her teenage son struggle, with angst and sorrow, living in a house where a 19th century family was brutally murdered. The lead investigator and his eccentric medium pass notes about a demonic name both have stuck on the tip of their tongue. famous Amityville demonologist called in. Nothing really out of the ordinary happens, aside from people knowing about the home's history, which anyone could look up and be bothered by, and the typical responses of the so called experts. Mostly it's tired college kids, in pajama pants, spending the night with a family who could use some real therapy and not any bumps in the night or spooky atmosphere to entertain the viewer.* 1 1/2 stars

Donald Pleasance hosts Saturday Night Live -- Halloween edition ----------

*Pleasance performs field surgery in a gruesome Monty Python esque sketch set in the days of the British empire.

Joggers, on a nice Autumn day in Central Park, step in some sticky goo in the Jogger Roach Motel.

Joe Piscapo in the Two Faces of Jerry Lewis with Eddie Murphy as Jerry's goofy side, and Piscapo as his aggressively angry side.

A Patsy Cline type whitetrash housewife sings a song about killing her husband as he sits at the table with a knife sticking out of his back.

Japanese honor suicide style pumpkin carving.

Eddie Murphy promises 16 different ways to kick someone in the groin as a Guardian Angel walking thru Harlem, at 3 in the morning, with 3 gold chains around yo neck (one way to stop it is to have trick shop snot hanging from your nostril).

Comedian and juggler Michael Davis on the dangers of Halloween... the razor blade in the apple is demonstrated  in a way that more helps the prankster than the victim (ha), and he's forced to juggle the razorblade apples and eat them.

Bill Murray's brother tells us the SNl news stories: a Piscapo impersonation of Frank Sinatra being a mafia man for President Regan bombs really hard with the audience, burning flags for the energy  crisis, the weather girl gets robbed and borrows a slutty outfit from her friend, Eddie Murphy is the nation of Islam grindhouse movie correspondent who critiques tha bruthas movie watching habits of enjoying rich white honkys get killed,

that's the news.

Three jazzy witches sing about MacBeth (Pleasance) at a smoky cauldron.

Musical guest: Fear 'Don't Care About You.'

Hitchcock parody 'The Clams' a Brian DePalma film, rated R for Rip OFF.

Theater patrons have a social breakdown in a bathroom over society's rudeness and misfortune.

Joe Piscapo and his wife drink cups full of sugar for breakfast and kids join them for even more sugary sweetness.

Andy Warhol's Tv: Andy calls his friends, like Calvin Klein, to ask them what they're wearing, before green screen losing his head.

Amateur super 8 or 16mm or videocasette home movies are made fun of by a SNL castlady.

Scare Me, on the Vic Salukin Show, as he offers a hundred bucks to be scared by any caller and gets a strange call from a stalker (Donald Pleasance).

Fear returns with a mosh pit and sing songs about how New York is alright if you like to get raped or murdered or if you like saxophones.

Tomorrow's great  writers are coming from prisons in a documentary look featuring one Eddie Murphy and his poem titled 'Kill My Landlord.'*

2 stars (3 for Eddie)

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Walt Disney presents: Our Unsung Villains *Walt summons the slave in the magic mirror to the broadcast. The Big, Bad Wolf is shown in a different light as a family man just lookin' to bring home the bacon. Snow White's evil queen is seen as self-sacrificing. Yes'm villains is important, just let Uncle Remus show us a hongry fox and bear after a po' rabbit. They'z dumbasses. Finally, the man in the magic mirror points out poor Capn' Hook's disadvantages in facing off against the flying, fairy-having Peter Pan.* 2 stars

The Elvira Show (unreleased pilot) (1992) *Elvira gives inept psychic readings and love potions to suburban women. Elvira has a sarcastic talking cat. Elvira has a witchy aunt. They live in Manhattan, Kansas. A bohunk, in a candadian tuxedo, shows up seeking mystical aid. Elvira acts seductive for the studio audience to hoot for. She shows off her cleavage. Elvira meets her girl scout niece. Chip, the bohunk, turns out to be an undercover cop, in a sting operation, looking to bust the new witches, in town, for selling dangerous potions. Elvira uses a spell to make him stiff. Elvira's niece is a reluctant witch, too, I'd watch this show over Charmed anyday. I guess this was too raunchy for prudish sitcom tv.* 3 stars

The Walking Dead: Four Walls and a Roof *Sadistic and satisfying way to play with expectations of the viewer. Now, we can maybe move on to something different on the show and not spend half a season dealing with the same threats and pretty much predicting the framework. The teaser for the fate of a missing character also hints at hopefully better things to come.* 3 stars

South Park: Handicar *The throwback, tribute to 40s/70s cartoons, element is a nice distraction from the usual social b.s. message of the show.* 2 1/2 stars

Squidbillies: Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg! *A depraved Jed Clampett punctures holes in the logic of doomsday preppers.* 3 stars

Mr. Pickles: Loose Tooth *The shifty animation style is welcomingly more disturbing than the painful attempts at shock-humor situations. On first viewing, it's just a nose ahead of the awful Brickleberry in humor quality.* 2 stars

Adult Swim, parody info-mercials ------------------------

*The Salad MiXXXer-- Sharp, but not as sharp as a Ginsu knife, shot at 50s suburbia and naive everyman sales pitch folks from that era. Just as raunchy as you'd expect from a joke about vibrators being used as "kitchen aides."        2 1/2 stars

Fartcopter-- Bratty, tween boys want farts or they'll get violent. It stops being a fake infomercial halfway thru and turns into a Jerry Springer dysfunctional family parody mixed with some message about army drones.* 2 stars

Alpha Chow-- Straightfaced, for the most part, and spot on in production, parody of supplement taking or lifestyle changing infomercials- where if you were flipping the channel, you might be tricked until you see the creepy midgets in werewolf makeup. Tries to be disturbing and succeeds.* 3 stars

Goth Fitness-- Again, this info-parody starts out mostly serious in tone, with making fun of two fads, but it might be a little dated with the Goth stuff and it turns into a bad SNL/MadTV/ComedyCentral sketch show skit by the end.*       2 stars

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Joe Bob's Hollywood Saturday Night with special guest star Tippi Hedren -- star of-- Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" (Great insight into the movie's production and you get to see Joe Bob's love of movies) *A free-spirit and a gamesman go toe to goe. Set against the backdrop of isolation, brooding parental displeasure, and a plague of terrible proportions.* 3 stars

Stephen King's 'Kingdom Hospital' *"You can let go, now, Elmer. It's over." The show's like Scrubs meets Twin Peaks.*  2 1/2 stars

"Let Sleeping Corpses Lie" (1974) *A new form of pest irradication is wreaking havoc on the nervous systems of newborns, the nutters, and the necro.* 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: "The Inheritance" *Two distant relatives inherit an occult antiques store and a little girl must be stopped  from keeping the demonic doll she was allowed to be gifted from there. Along with an expert, of the occult, the cousins must retrieve all the lost and evil antiques.* 3 stars

American Horror Story--- Freakshow: "Massacres and Matinees *Gacy & Bundy team up. Dad and his dick-having girlfriend debut. "Dream a little dream."* 2 1/2 stars

The Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror (1990) -------------

*Bad Dream House: A haunted house rejects cohabitation haunting Homer and family.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hungry Are the Damned: 'To Serve Man' a Simpsons botched close encounter.* 3 stars

*The Raven: A Poe retelling has Homer seeing red and Bart eating crow.*          2 stars

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Mr. Pickles: 'Dead Man's Curve' *Bloodthirsty dog afraid of the noise a vac makes. A long thought dead drag-racer, from the 50s, returns from the car graveyard to face culture shock in a sadistic modern town.* 2 stars

Regular Show, Halloween -----------------------------

(on the way to a costume party, scary tales are told)

*Payback: Modercai's uncle, who died in a horrible bowling alley accident, returns, from the grave, to give back the five bucks he was loaned.* 2 1/2 stars

*Party Bus: Dance til you drop dead.* 2 stars

*Wallpaper Man: Hiring a humanoid spider conman to get out of a chore has the boys, and Pops, cornered in a web.* 2 stars

--------------------------------------------

Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina, The Teenage Witch) hosts Nickelodeon's presentation of 'Cry Baby Lane' 2000 *An inept mortician/taxidermist (awesomely portrayed by Frank Langella) shares a suburban legend with two boys and sets in motion the events that lead to half the town's residents becoming the wormy servants of a sawed-in-half Siamese stiff.* 3 stars

Ernest Scared Stupid *Letting the town children go off into the woods, alone, with Goober Pyle is a lot scarier thought than any Snot Troll.* 1 1/2 stars

Ghost Adventures: Island of the Dolls *In a part of Mexico where Aztec superstition causes a regretful drunk to honor a girl, who drowned, by littering an island, in a canal, with refuse dolls-- a grown man, in an undersized muscleshirt, gel in his hair, and expensive sunglasses on his face, runs around having a 'ghost adventure' with his brought along 'world's most haunted doll.'* 2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: "Killer Instinct" -----------

*A leggy Lori Petty tries to get ahead, but loses her's instead.* 2 1/2 stars

*The ghost of Lori goes Freddy on her grieving boyfriend and her guilty bestfriend. There was a glaring difference between Lori and her zombie stand-in.* 2 stars

---------------------

Popcorn (1991) *A sloppy smooch to schlocky movies.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: The Death of Dr. Arcane *Swamp Thing restores his deceased devil, and makes a deal with him, in order to save a kidnapped boy.* 2 1/2 stars

The Boogens (1981) *A couple of young professionals, their girlfriends, and a feisty dog- show up up in a snowy mountain town at the spark of the re-emergence of a species of POV tentacle monsters that last feasted on a group of miners- more than half a century before.* 3 stars

The Legend of Hell House (1973) *Richard Matheson brings his scientific-technical approach to spiritual horror.* 3 stars

Mickie Mouse, Halloween -----------

*Ghoul Friend: A goofy zombie helps Mickie out with car trouble on a desolate, spooky road.* 3 stars

*The Boiler Room: Minnie's apartment's furnace is in horrific pain.* 2 stars

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"One Dark Night" (1982) *A mousey Meg Tilly is hazed where a powerful, homicidal telepathic has just been entombed.* 3 stars

Town of the Living Dead: 'Don't Mess With the Money Make' *The brain-dead film crew have an unimpressive, bothersome meeting with the prudish city council lady, and a crucial cemetery gore shot is almost "ruined" by an actual funeral and an inept, intoxicated actor.* 2 stars

"WNUF tv28 Halloween Special" *Faithful recreation and satire of a 'Anywhere, USA' local television station, from the mid 1980s, news special and cheesy advertising.* 3 stars

"Pieces" (1982)  -uncut- *Giallo puzzler. Gabby dubbing. Gag-fly gobs of gore.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Freddy's Tricks and Treats ----------------

*An overworked medical student spends the night with an imaginary friend, a corpse, and Freddy as she relives the torture of a tyrannical, Puritanical grandma.* 3 stars

*The same girl, from the first story, is used as a guinea pig in a classmate's dream recording experiments.* 3 stars

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Paranormal State season one episode three *"Chilling" chaos in a cluttered mobile home.* 2 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: The Brotherhood of the Night *Werewolf bandits, around the jungles of Washington D.C., seek to add a lava-worm controlling wizard to the pack.* 2 1/2 stars

Z Nation: Welcome to Fu-Bar *Micchone still grieving over the death of Rick. Gun shows in Kansas after the apocalypse (I can see that happening). Citizen Z memorializes Z Nation's 'Rick' over the radio airwaves. TEN K gets a sweetheart. Doc is maybe more likeable  than Dale or Herschel. Murphy freaks out and goes werewolfzombie on a guy, then denies it. Outhouse zombie running around with his pants around his ankles. Bartender zombie. Forecast for a Noah style 'flood-herd' of zombies heading over the plains states.* 2 1/2 stars

Rifftrax presents "Hawk, the Slayer" *Jack Palance pisses & cusses into the fires of Mordor, while a group of other generic sword and sorcery stereotypes run about with the Green Lantern's sword Excalibur or some crap.* 3 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Z Nation: Zunami *Zombie dust-storm / stampede that's miles wide (pretty scary). Three days without water, dying of thirst (nice showing of the survival element). Citizen Z gets a creepy 'crash visitation.' Murphy sinks to even more of a morbidly humorous low... He burglarizes a poor mom & daughter and then sacrifices them to their missing, and zombified, dad whose fate they were unaware of.*     3 stars

Jonny Quest: The Mystery of the Lizard Men *"Goonies at 2 o'clock!" For the most prized boy in the American superpower, he's sure allowed to be put in perilous predicaments. His bodyguard looks like a semi-retired golf pro.* 3 stars

"Bedlam" *Boris Karloff as a pathetic heel in a tale of snobbish beliefs, so-called savages & deeds of savagery, along  with sterling acts of sympathy.* 3 stars

"Wicked Fascination" ---xxx--- *Spandex workout outfits that are thongs in the back. Aqua-net hairdos. Scuzzy guys with ponytails. White Rebok athletic shoes. Guys who have a similar style to Gerardo aka Rico Suave. Stonewashed, shredded with scissors and possibly jizz stained jeans. Purple zebra striped bikini. Indistinguishable shoulder-blade tattoo designs. Keyboard synth that sounds like you're playing Galaga (not as fun as it sounds, the synth, not Galaga. Galaga is actually fun.) Dangling peace symbol & star of David necklaces during scenes of slow pumping.* 2 stars

Wes Craven presents "Wishmaster" (1997) *Horror characters in minor roles and cameos. Freddy as an ancient arts collector, Jason as a security guard, Candyman as a doorman at a party. A couple too many cheap false scares substituting for genie scares. The special fx are fun though, and the genie's design and presence are memorable.*          2 1/2 stars

"The Hidden" (1987) *The universe's favorite FBI agent, a not Mr. Dale Cooper, is on the hunt for a bodyswapping slug/spider creature who loves Porches, firearms, and rock cassette tapes.* 3 stars

"Visiting Hours" starring Michael Ironside *A chauvinist sadist takes a break from writing angry letters to the national organization of women, and carving up hookers, to target a talky, lady tv journalist who editorialized one too many times about how abuse victims should be able to shoot their hubbies and get away with it.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Murder House -- "Home Invasion" *Kurt Cobain & Corky Love get in the way of the Manson Family wannabes.*      3 stars

The Walking Dead: 'Slab-Town' *Goes from zombie-drama to a women-in-prison feature.* 3 stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow -- 'Edward Mordrake' *A Victorian era ghost freak is the catalyst to finding out the twisted backstories of most of the characters.* 3 stars

rifftrax presents: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban *"the horrible and the fanciful"* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 stars without

Gargoyles: Thrill of the Hunt *The littlest gargoyle, Lexington, becomes enamored with a celebrity canine-themed team of gladiators who turn out to not be as heroic as their tv show would have fans believe.* 3 stars

Bob and Margaret: Bob's Birthday *A forty year old dentist is having a midlife crisis, surrounded by eccentric patients, and his quirky wife who tediously plans a mishap filled surprise party for him. The pilot has the same gentle whimsy as Garfield or Charlie Brown, also animated full frontal penis.* 3 stars

Dr. Who (Fourth Doctor - Tom Baker) -- "Planet of Evil" *Interstellar BP scientists are going Mr. Hyde mad over dark energy.* 3 stars

Transformers: Divide and Conquer *As the world's war industries mobilize against the Decipticons, Otimus is gravely injured and a suicide mission to Cybertron is orchestrated in order to retrieve lifesaving repair parts. And we learn a lesson in what it  means to be disabled and still able bodied.* 3 stars

Robert Rodriguez presents "Predators" *Alien versus Academy Award Winner. Adrien Brody and Topher Grace never really gel well with this genre.* 2 stars

Swamp Thing: Legend of the Swamp Maiden *Two juveniles camp out in the swamp on a night when a seductive (nekkid) siren (chick) goes swimming in the moonlight and has the allure / power to turn men into hideous humanoid frog creatures.* 2 1/2 stars

"Alone in the Dark" (1982) *Donald Pleasance runs a really relaxed mental hospital where a prisoner-of-war crazy Jack Palance, a fire-and-brimstone pyromaniac Martin Landau, a hulking-retard rapist of kids, and a nosebleeder killer escape during the chaos of a citywide blackout and target the family of their new doctor. Everyone in this movie has some sort of delusion.* 3 stars

--- Paranormal State: Season 1 Ep 4 -- Investigation of the Dark Man

*A mother, mourning the recent overdose death of her son, spends the weekend with our research team and she, and her  family, share the stories of their lost loved one's struggle with a haunting dating back to a backyard pond drowning of a man years ago when the lost loved one was a boy.

Our lead investigator proclaims 3am an evil time because it's the  exact opposite hour from Christ's death....

Okay... well, what was it before? Just 3am, right? okay...

then a medium calls up on the telephone to tell the mother that her son is telling the medium that the ghost killed him. that's low.

even for a medium, that's fucking low.

followed by a 'third generation pagan' being rowed out, in a boat, on the pond by a devout catholic (go figure) to perform a silly banishing ritual.

third generation, huh? seems like it would be more than that, given how old paganism is.

so, basically your grandma was a pretentious new age pagan, too?

ha. anyway, i guess everything turns out okay because the medium calls back and tells the mom the son has passed on and is happy with grandma in heaven and the college or the folks at a & e do the right thing and get the mom some grief counseling.*

either zero stars (for exploitation)

or 1 1/2 stars (for not bringing enough entertaining scares)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

--- Friday the 13th, the series: "The Poison Pen" *The almost kissing cousins go undercover as monks to stop a powermad Padre's predictions.*  3 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Ballad of Fallen Angels *Spike has a bittersweet mafia homecoming complete with gothic church shootout showdown with a Lucifer Morningstar-esque enemy and his gunmen.* 3 stars

World War Z *In an oversaturated genre, it's silly to get stuffy about just another entry into zombie mania. This one feels like a less moody, but just as intense, cousin to the 28 Days series.* 2 1/2 stars

Texas Chainsaw 3D *Leatherface, the avenger. Half the movie, and new story elements opportunity, wasted on going through the motions with a typical sexy young people in peril slasher formula.* 1 1/2 stars

Tim & Eric, Bedtime Stories: Haunted House *Zalifianakis joins the guys for a trio of Stooges style unfunny non-humor spookiness.* 1 1/2 stars (3 stars for the "post-show" parody of Chris Hardwick's Talking Dead)

Headbangers Halloween ---------------------

(guests: Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Dave Mustaine, Dangerous Toys)

*Black Sabbath - Headless Cross.

Queensryche - Gonna Get Close To You.

Quantum Perm - Because Boys Love Curls.

Call 1 900 New Kids on the Block.

Kiss A Little Longer, Hold Tight A Little Longer, Stay Close A Little Longer with Big Red chewing gum.

You got the fever for corn flavor Pringles Corn Crisps.

Megadeth - No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Europe - Superstitious.

Share a little piece of America, Wrigley's Gum.

For a free Soloflex brochure, call anytime.

Time Life Music presents - Heart Rock.

Quiet Riot - MetalHealth.

King Diamond - Sleepless Nights.

Judas Priest - You Got Another Thing Coming.

Full Tilt Taste, Coors Extra Gold.

Dokken - Dream Warriors.

Motley Crue - Looks That Kill.

When a woman sweats - Secret Sporty Clean.

Women's Secret Confessions.

Overkill - Hello from the Gutter.

Dangerous Toys - Scared.

Annihilator - Allison Hell.

Kiss the Sky with Ocean Pacific.

Lyle Wagoner for the New Generation hair growth system.

Alice Cooper - Poison.

Alice Cooper - Teenage Frankenstein.

Danzig - Mother.

Kiss - I Love It Loud.

Iron Maiden - Can I Play with Madness.

Zed Yago - Black Bone Song.

Ozzy Osbourne - So Tired.

Ozzy Osbourne - Bark at the Moon.

Robert Englund was Freddy but now he is The Phantom of the Opera.

Helloween - Halloween.*

3 stars

--------------------------------

Elvira's Movie Macabre --Halloween special-- "Scared to Death" *Sexual innuendo featuring Elvira* 2 1/2 stars *Shocking suspense innuendo featuring Bela Lugosi.* 2 stars

[mudskipper001]

3-20-17

I had always been curious about the physical side of relationships. Not even the sex part. Just the stage that basically included everything except actually having intercourse. The handholding and awkward half-clothed make-out sessions. That might sound weird, but you have to remember: I'm a pastor’s daughter who went to a Christian private school for 10 years with the same eleven kids. I knew next to nothing about hand-holding or kissing. And I didn't have anyone I could ask. The emotional side was a bit of a mystery as well, but I had a better handle on it and it didn't confuse me, because emotions are a lot easier to decipher than bodies and inaudible cues and innuendos. I had always wondered how it all happened. Physical intimacy seemed like such a natural thing to other people. Television shows it all the time. If you walk down a high school hallway, there is a good chance someone is licking lips somewhere, and an even better chance of passing multiple couples holding hands. It was almost like it's an instinctive quality everyone but me possessed. And I didn't even want to think about what couples did when they were alone. My awkward I don't even want to think about how babies are actually made stage of life lasted well into my teenage years. My sister and I found condoms in my parents’ nightstand, and I was out of there before I could even process what it meant. A guy put his hand on my knee and I up and left the movie theater in eighth grade. My dad said the word sex in one of his sermons, and I literally screamed. Out loud. In church. I was a sophomore in high school. I'm only a junior now and I realize how strange I was when it came to physical intimacy. Needless to say, I didn't have much experience in the area. I also didn't have anyone I could ask about it. I have no older sisters, and I knew my brother (who is only one year my senior) was just as clueless as I was, if not more so. My younger sister and I speculated, wondering aloud how all this came to be, when it would happen to us, etc. But I just didn't have anyone to turn to about relationships. But I was still infatuated with the base idea of being physically intimate with a guy, even though I really didn't know anything about it. I remember at some dance freshman year, I saw this guy I knew making out with some girl I didn't know on the steps of the sports complex lobby, and after I got past the thought of ew, what the heck, you can't just do that in a school with a bunch of teachers and other students present and dude, why does it look like you're trying to eat her face?, I realized that I wanted to know what that was like. I had kissed a guy before (in like 5th grade, and it was a peck on the lips so I don't think it really counts), but I wanted to know what the heck was so attractive about a guy licking your lips for you or swapping saliva. Ew. It confused and hypnotized me, the idea of being so close to someone else that you could trade breaths. I realize now that what little I knew about kissing and making out was incredibly inaccurate. I also notice that I had a lot of missing information. I never thought that ‘making out’ included anything other than your mouth. I got the general concept of what you do with your lips, but I didn't consider what you do with your hands. I know now that dang, you can do so much more than just kiss, and dang, other parts of your body are really sensitive (good God, I didn't realize just how hot it could be for someone to touch your stomach). And I know backs are hella touchy, and necks and chests can be a nice and welcomed break from just mouth-to-mouth interaction. I also didn't know what the word horny meant until I was well into my high school career, and after I learned the word, I didn't really consider how it could apply to me. And goodness, I never understood the appeal of someone touching your boobs. Good God. Seriously, trailing a hand up my stomach, to my chest, and back again makes me weak. I still have a lot of missing information, and the big sister role has not yet been filled. It's kind of awkward to talk about, and I have no one I would actually be willing to ask for advice. I have questions- like hickeys? Are those actually an okay thing to leave on another person? And how the heck do you actually do so without hurting said person? And I haven't even dared exploring anything below the waistline. I know that I want to be a virgin until my wedding night, but a girl can dream, right? (Note -2/25/17- Yeah, so much for that plan. Fuck me, and not in a good way, right?) Another question- what is a guy’s equivalent to touching a girl’s boobs? Do they have some kind of super sensitive spot that would parallel the amazing sensation that girls experience when someone lightly trails a hand over her torso? And who the hell am I supposed to talk to about all this?

[metamoephosis]

1-104 (except 72 because you answered that one)

Omg thank ya ASK ME THINGS1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? I texted a group chat so this doesn't really work unless I woke up next to all of them that would be fucken wild2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?Absolutely nothing 3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?I would care if it came to certain drugs and if the amount of time spent doing drugs ended up becoming higher than doing other activities without being on a substance. 4. Is your last name longer than six letters?Nope5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?I honestly can't remember I was probably high and it was a while ago6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?I don't think so I just usually have really terrible timing 7. What does your last received text say?AWW8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?I wasn't counting 9. Where was your last kiss at?On a roof 10. When is the last time you saw your sister?I don't have a sister 11. What do you drink in the morning?Sometimes coffee, sometimes a chai tea mix I can make at home, and sometimes hot cocoa!! Give me all the warm beverages!! 12. Where did you sleep last night?My bed 13. Do you think relationships are hard?I don't think they should be, but they definitely can be.14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? I don't think I would. I feel like there isn't really anything that happened that I want to change because I feel like it wouldn't affect the present time. 15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?I would definitely be uncomfortable and want to leave, if they wanted to talk though I would polite still and make conversation but I would be trying to find out how to get out asap. 16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?Sunny most definitely 17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Not personally that I can remember! 18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Comfy shorts19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?Who fucken knows 20. Does anyone like you?^^21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Besides my mom I haven't! 22. Is the last person you kissed gay?No23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?No 24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?Yesss25. In the past week have you cried?Yes 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? It was a little tiny shiba inu sticking it's head out of the window of a car!! 27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?In the shower! 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?No29. Do you think you’re old?Omg sometimes yes I feel like my knees shouldn't make the noises they do sometimes. 30. Do you like text messaging?Not really but sometimes it's all ya got so I'm still glad it exists and I have the privilege of having a phone that I can text with. 31. What type of day are you having? A rather nice one :) 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?I have two piercing in my nose! A cartilage and a septum! 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Warm!!!! 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yes so much!! 35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?A relationship for sure 36. Are you a simple or complicated person?I feel like I'm fairly simple you just have to get past my initial shyness and then I feel like I'm a pretty neat gal37. What song are you listening to?I'm watching the movie Avatar hehe 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Yes of course 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?Yes40. What made you start liking the person you like now?All the right things41. When did you last receive a text message?42. What is wrong with you right now?43. How well do you know the last female you texted?I feel like I know my mother well, but I know I could know her more. 44. Does anyone disgust you?No my goodness 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Yeah probably but I'd let them know first that finals is about to happen and shits about to get crazy but I'm still down to cuddle 46. Are you in a good mood right now?Yeah I'm in a productive mood sorta but I'm still procrastinating by doing this 😂47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My pal Eric 48. What color shirt are you wearing? It's black with a funky 90s looking pattern on it 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?Not really50. Anyone you’re giving up on?No not at all 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?No I just wish he'd be my friend still I don't know why he thought I wouldn't care anymore!! 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?....I feel like I've thought about giving up on someone, then given them multiple chances, and just still getting hurt by them or the friendship/relationship not being as healthy as it should be so I eventually would give up on the person. 53. Do you like rain?Yes I usually do, I even don't really mind getting rained on as long as I'm not in like formal wear I guess but that never happens anyways54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?No 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?Yes56. Do you like to cuddle? Yes so much!!57. Are you shy? I usually am, even around my friends i tend to be the one that talks the least 58. Do you get along with girls? Yes59. Have you dated the person you texted last? No 60. What do you carry with you at all times? Headphones, chapstick, and I've been trying to carry a sketchbook around a lot more! 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?Fuck yes I would 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?Yes of course 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?No64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Yes of course!!65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?I saw so many cute puppies!!! 66. How old are the last three people you kissed?19, 19, and 25 I think67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do them myself 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? I've never really owned anything with either prints so I don't really like them both 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Yes!! A sticker for my college and a Bernie Sanders 2016 sticker lol 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Lil Wayne 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone 73. Do you like diet soda? Not really I feel like it makes me burp way more than normal soda74. What color are the walls in your room? A cream color 75. Are you 16 or older? Lol yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? No77. Do you have a job? No lol78. What are your initials? MMS79. Did you ever have braces? No 80. Are you from the south? Yes81. What does your last status on facebook say? I think it was asking everyone if they had a trumpet or a saxophone they wanted to give me for free because I really want to learn a new instrument!!!82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? No :/83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? I really couldn't tell ya 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? No85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? I think it was sausage party I really can't remember!! 86. Do you smoke? I smoke weed 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flip flops 88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? I usually don't do shit to my hair I just let it dry and sometimes it's looks alright and gets all curly 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? No I was a lame kid lol 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Hm rivers are pretty fuckin cool but I also really enjoy the ocean I don't know why that one wasn't in the list. But pools are also really cool. 92. Have you ever made out in a car? Yep93. …Had sex in a car? Nope94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Watching Powerpuff Girls 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Christmas because I was around a shit ton of fire during New Years and didn't see fireworks 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Yeah it gets the job done 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Sorta but it was really dumb and weird and I ended it almost as soon as it began because I don't really enjoy just hooking up with people 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? No 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? No 102. Name your favorite Kesha song: 103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Hell no you can honestly see my veins on some parts of my body because I'm fucken pale 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Fuck no