#*starts a character analysis that will sit in my drafts for months next to the other fifty analyses ive started*

[nartml]

gon freecss is the most underrated character i've ever come across it's actually baffling

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

The Colors of my Soul(mates) [1]

[Second oneshot]

[AO3 link]

Kanene’s Notes:

Nope, I do not regret the pun. Okay, okay! I’ve plaining this AU for almost an year so I’m pretty excited to post it!! dfghjsdfrtyucfvgbhjv yaaaay!! Thank you very very much @olliedollie1204 for such a positive feedback and awesome ideas. it helped me a lot!! 

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* That fanfic has Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman (only a brief mention of Remy) in a platonic relationship (yet), but it can be viewed as romantic, if you wish. 

* Warnings: A bit of swearing and depreciative thoughts. It’s mostly fluff and hurt/comfort, tho.

* This characters do not belongs to me. They all belongs to the amazing Thomas Sanders in his series of Sanders Sides.

* Something around 4.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Tô com preguiça de postar a versão em português brasileiro aaaa! Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Say to someone important how much you love them, be safe, talk with the one that you love, drink water and sleep well! Byeioo!~

                           [~*~]

What can do a creature if not, between creatures, love?  - Carlos Drummond de Andrade

  - What the fu-

 Virgil only discovered he had more than one Soulmate when he was twenty years old, more specifically the exact moment he took a wrong turn and kept going even knowing he was in the wrong way because one hour it would lead him to somewhere Virgil would recognize before his mortal being inevitably starved to death in the middle of nowhere and his eyes got dragged from the visions from thousands of futures created by his mind to a Teddy Bear Store - they seemed to replicate worse than bacteria during Valentine’s Day - and two bears from the crimson shelter suddenly dyed themselves in two milliseconds as he slightly glanced at them.

 Two of them. Virgil felt his entire face burn in hot shades of embarrassment with drops of disbelief, almost as if all the people running, stumbling, locked in their own worlds and swearing while walked in the sideway because ‘some stupid teenager decided to just stop and block their way’ could, by only looking at him, stare deep into his soul and realize the one staring astonished the store already carried in his fate another one more Soulmate at home.

One completely different in shape and form, even if also blue, however in a light, sky blue completely opposite shade from the new navy one staring him down - Virgil knew plentily their link wasn’t bonded yet, albeit he was equally sure that the person behind those black glooming teddy bear’s eyes were already judging him, - wondering why, between all the people, he was their soulmate. The other red one was very much likely crackling in his face when an employee came and pointedly turn the adult’s attention to the sign in big, graphed words clued in front of their store:

 “You dye, you buy.”

 Virgil signed, pushing his hoodie down further, wondering how much time it would take of him hitting his head on the wall to finally pass out. This option sounded much more attractive when he realized that this new ‘discovery’ about himself would cost all his month’s saves.

 He asked, to the Universe, the stars, the Earth and whoever was seeing him in that exact moment: why?

 Was it a kind of prank? A punishment from fate when, years and tears ago, Virgil lifted his chin up and dared the Universe to give him more soulmates as he locked all his uncolored – although never really free of some weak drops of paint from what one day they came to be – simply stuffed animals, - and nothing more, anymore, - away and promised he would never, ever allow himself to go all through this shit again?

 But… That had been… years ago. Almost a decade since that soft voice he got to know so well, the impulsive acts, long conversations and warm feelings.

 But…

 Time has passed, that is true. Nevertheless, deep down has he really changed?

 Virgil stared at the bag carried so close to his chest since his bare hands were sweating and shaking way too much for this task. Yes, he knew his Soulmates won’t feel anything until both of them decided to ‘give the First Step’, accepting to link their souls and fates, for the longest as it lasts. However, he didn’t want to risk it, because what if they felt? What if he in some way broke the Soulmate System when got two at the same time and now everything was messed up and they could already feel his touches even through the bag and the first impression Virgil would gave to them was ‘That anxious, weird boy and his creepy, sweaty hands’ and-

 A girl almost hit him as she passed running at his side, making his arms protectively hug further the teddy bears closer to him, arms protectively involving them, the soft touch somehow calming his tumulted thoughts. The lost man took a deep breath.

 Clear your mind. Rational thoughts. Focus on the two sides of the coin. Three people wouldn’t be able to break a millennial, unknown system, don’t matter how good he was in screwin… No, a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like his psychologist calmly pointed, not like that. Virgil huffed, trying again. He was a magnet of problems and bad…Okay, also wrong. Neutral thoughts, focus on neutral thoughts. Come on. Come on.

 It was okay.

 They wouldn’t feel him until they gave the first step. Right, that… sounded like a start. He didn’t do anything. Now, what Virgil needed to do was go to his house, clean his bed in order to find a good place where he could put and ignore them and then he would get his headphones, listen his playlists and wonder where the fuck his life was going.

 It was okay. Everything would stay okay as long as he didn’t give the First Step.

 Virgil unconsciously hugged tighter the teddy bears, his fingers finding way and drowning themselves in the soft, cozy fur, combing them in light, soothing touches as he continued his way.

 Okay. Everything was okay.

 [~*~]

 Plurinfanto, or Multiple Souls, it’s the nomination used for the cases when a person has diverse soulmates at the same time and in a same period.

 The first known case was with Pharaoh Cleopatra when multiples of her woolen fabric started to dye themselves in various colors and shades. In Ancient Roman, it was believed that the occurrences were blessings from Venus in a sign of prosperity and abundance. Grand, longstanding parties were executed through days nonstop in order to get together those intertwined souls. When the connection broke and the colors disappeared, it meant that days of pain and foreboding were waiting forward.

 It is not known for certain the exact moment when the meaning changed, albeit researchers believe it was around the fall of the Roman Empire, when all the invasions resulted in a cultural reconstruction which led to the loss from much of their costumes.

  CLICK HERE TO DISCOVER HOW TO HAVE THE SOULMATE OF YOUR DREAMS!!!!  

 [~*~]

 The computer made a soft ‘click’ as Virgil closed it and sat on his bed, adjusting slightly his position to stare the three vivid, brilliant stuffed beings contrasting to the general dark theme of his room.

 Virgil growled, resting his back on the cold wall, the shivers calming his flowing thoughts about all the variants this whole thing had. No to mention that people change with time, leading to the souls who they “relate” to change as well, meaning that you can have someone in your life for years and then, one month, or weeks or the next day, you can wake up only to discover you and the said person don’t “match” anymore.

 And NO ONE talked about this just because it was a freak tabu to doesn’t have ‘an only one soulmate who will be with you until the end of your existence’. Oh, for fuck sake. Virgil ran his hand through his hair, wincing when he accidently pulled some tangled strands. That sounds like a line of commercial, does anyone believe that bullshit for real?

 “Hello dear, newer fellow!!” The popping thought broke his line of reasoning, jumping excitedly in his mind and automatically pulling him out of his wanders. It has a strong and full of… about everything, tune demanding attention. Virgil felt a warm kiss on his forehead, meaning one soulmate – a deep part of him turned his attention to the red colored teddy bear, - had given the First Step. The one who in some moment changed his position so now he was sitting on the floor felt his face get hot again, heart thumping strongly in his chest as his arm moved, fingers stopping inches away from the fur, questioning if he was ready to retribute the gesture.

  [~*~]

 Many history icons have reports of being Pluriers, as shown in the book ‘The Romance in the History of Those Who Wrote It’, by historian Henry Senyura. The subject is also beginning to gain more visibility after the protest from the teacher Joan A. in 2010, who got touched towards the situation of some of her pupils being forced to choose only one among their Soulmates for the six-month annual exchange, by the end of that period most of them lost or weakened their bonding due lack of communication, small changes of personality and continuous absence. She held a protest at the front of the school, stating that no one had the right to interfere in ‘matters of the heart’.

 A lot of fiction works are beginning to address the topic more frequently, as in I’m Not One, a movie directed by Devon Stan; The Seven Colors of Rainbow, a book written by Lílian Lee and the psychological analysis Life’s Watch, recently found between drafts by the famous writer Robin Green, published after their husband’s authorization, Josué Green.

 [~*~]

 Logan hummed. As it seems, this was a relatively common thing, since the concept of Soul Mates surpassed the barriers of unity and time, being ‘souls who in a way or other intertwined themselves in some part of their life. Sometimes it didn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship, as the majority of society and media pointed, but it also didn’t hold any assurance that all of them were platonic.

 He massaged the bridge of his nose. Remy wasn’t in the dorm so everything was silent enough for him to hear his own thoughts.

  It has been a remarkable amount of years since he got his last soulmates, - except for Remy, however they both considered this occurrence as a separate incident - well, until, of course, this day. At least it was a good thing he always carried in his bag extra easy manageable stuffed animals or else maybe the System would dye one of clothes, what would be less than ideal for him in the middle of his philosophy debate. But things got even more interesting when, after his classes, as he arrived at the small, pleasantly well-organized store next to his university, one more stuffed animal colored itself right before him.

 He didn’t exactly understand why. Logan considered himself an owner of a… quite strong, strict personality, this added with his difficulty in managing his and one another emotions usually tended to bring some complex tribulations in his rela-

 Anyway, that is beside the important matter. The one laying his chin on his crossed fingers undid his pose for a bite of time in order to adjust his glasses, barely fixating his gaze on the two plushies in the desk before him, his third – Pat - resting a few centimeters away, closer to Logan’s fingers, who were barely touching. Mind running. Asking, reflecting, wondering what was the exact amount of time to be acceptable to give his First Step?

 ‘The First Step’.

 Logan never really understood from where and how that expression emerged. It didn’t come from the words’ etymology nor some semantic detour. His most concrete hypothesis consisted of the phrase being derived from old romances.

 “Did you know it used to be called the ‘First Kiss’?! But that confused a lot of people who really believed that, to be able to talk and interact with their soulmates they would have to kiss each other, like the Sleeping Beauty! I always got confused in this movie when I was a child, by the way! That ended up messing with a bunch of relationships before they even started, since a lot of peeps don’t feel comfortable enough with strangers kissing them. However, they also speeded up a bunch of them as well…” Logan blinked, his attention escaping from his previous thoughts to the light sky blue plushie of Baby Yoda, for a moment surprised with the sudden input. He felt fingers carefully holding his arms and a bit of ghost movements as Pat probably moved his representation to somewhere else, a hug and warmth engulfing the one yet absolving the new information moments later.

 “That was… enlightening.” His voice danced across the room. Even though he was completely aware they could chat telepathically, the childish act of saying the words out loud still comforted him, in a way. “Thank you for your contribution.”

 He took a deep breath and closed the tab of research on his cellphone, internally thanking from the escaping of his turmoil of thoughts, his free hand carefully combing the Baby Yoda’s head fur, almost methodic.

 “Looo, no!” The other protested with no heat in his tune, leading a toothless smile to resurface in Logan’s features. “Stop doing this. You know I end up sleeping every time!”

 “Oh no, what a tragedy.” He deadpanned, already plugging his phones and changing to a most relaxed position on his chair, his eyes traveling across the countless movies on the device before him. “In which episode did we stop?”

 “I’m going to fight you.” Pat sounded like he was pouting.

 “How so?” Logan asked, trying to hide his amusement.

 Silence followed his words.

 “Pat?”

 “What is the skeleton’s favorite instrument?”

 “Pat, don’t you fucking da-”

 “Language! It’s a xiloBONE!”

 Logan audible growled, fast in his final decision. “I’m going to drop you out the window.”

  “I’m going to hug you!” And immediately the one rolling his eyes felt himself being squished in a strong bear hug, huffing only half annoyed.

 “You are an incorrigible heathen, let me go in this exact instant.” His answer was a ‘butterfly kiss’ – as Pat was fond in calling them – on his forehead. “Urg, affection.” Yet he smiled and mirrored the act, lightly poking the other’s side.

 “We’re on episode 19.”

  [~*~]  

Roman stared the paper, his pencil’s tip stopped in the middle of the biggest petal’s flower, his eyes narrowing in the hope of a clearest way of how to convert the vague idea he had in transforming the night full of stars in a flower. No to tell he also would need to choose a good pallet of colors indication for it, later, and probably re-do all the process over and over and over until got the best result as possible. A yawn found its way from his lips and the designer stretched, getting up to drink a bit of water and rubbing his eyes, wondering if it was really worth it to make a black tea to help him through the night.

 A glimpse of color caught his attention. The navy blue teddy bear on his couch, the main inspiration of his newest tattoo. Roman wondered why it wasn’t resting in front of him while he drew. A corner of his brain, obscured by the tiredness, telling he had a previous good reason for this choice although his actual self carried absolutely no idea of why.

 Well, if he couldn’t remember it, it means the reason wasn’t THAT good, right?

 Roman held the stuffed animal, spinning with it across the room for a couple of minutes, imagining who would be the person behind it. A king, a queen, a non-binary royalty? Did they like Disney? Musicals? Sing? Would they chat for hours at first with a few words exchanged or would they take a bit to warm at each other? Was navy blue their favorite color or…

 Or…

 Navy blue.

 Oh.

 He fixed his glare on the plushie, his hands feeling and slowly drawing in the soft fur of it.

 Navy blue, huh? A humorless chuckled flew in the air. It could have no significance, it could be a world of it. It probably didn’t mean what he, for a moment, a so silly, stupid moment, wished it meant. Of course, one day this would happen, right? It was something normal, something expected. Not the magical, right out of the story books or his old daydreams, occurrence.

 This wasn’t a second chance. The Universe doesn’t give you second chances. He wasn’t the same boy from eleven years ago, holding his own costumed teddy bear crying his eyes out, hugging he – No, it – the closest as possible, wishing with all his heart and soul for the color, the voice, the thoughts, the rambling, their bickering, the forgiveness to come back again.

 No, he grew up. He moved on. He got better.

 Then why did a part of him still felt this way? Like he was about to hear the excited giggles, the soft reprimand, that lovely, deep and so truly -and sometimes boring, Roman had to admit – questions? Why would a part of him still say that he could have it all again if he just… waited long enough, hoped high enough, dreamed long enough…

 …If he was enough.

There aren’t more than seven billion colors in the world. Roman would be stupid if he really believed there was a path where he wouldn’t stumble in that so (un)fortunate well-known shade of blue again.

 Roman growled, his forehead making a loud, dry thumping sound as hit his desk. The one who should be asleep hours ago had absolutely no energy to battle against those thoughts, again. At least for now. He rubbed his eyes and stared at the teddy bear laid on the cold tabletop before him. Well, what a better way to get rid of your own means thoughts than put some stranger’s unpredictable thoughts in the middle of it? Roman slightly pushed the bunch of flowers and some warmup sketches he had out of the way, carefully carrying the representation next to him, nodding. Honestly, that was the best idea he had for a while, why did he even put the lovely thing away?

 Awake Roman was so silly, thinking that… something he couldn’t quite recall right now would be a bad idea, he pointed as snorted softly, pressing his lips on the teddy’s forehead, the quote he knew by heart flying from them in a natural flow.

 “It is not immortal, since it’s flame. But let it be infinite while it lasts.”

 A warm sensation rested on his own forehead moments later, leading the sleepy form to hum happily.

 “Is it… poetry?” Oh shit, Roman widened his eyes. His soulmate heard that?? Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Roman mentally facepalmed himself. So that was why he usually said it before the First Step!

 “Uhh, yeah. Of course. Fidelity Sonnet by Vinícius Moraes.”

 “I see. Classicism, I presume. A literature of very soundly pleasant rhymes, indeed. The first sonnet was probably created by the humanist Italian poet Francesco Petrarca, although it got even more known in the western literature after the works of Camões, who- ”

 “He is from Modernism, actually.” Roman didn’t know why he suddenly sounded so defensive. Logan felt a cold feeling run his body when the other’s hands let go of him, for a piece of second wondering if it was supposed for him to do the same with the red narwhal plushie on his hold.

 “A very common mistake to make due the lack of context.” He retorted, unable to formulate another answer. He had, of course, thought, balanced options and chosen the best topics to discuss with his new soulmates when they bonded. However, his fingers firmly gripped the pen, its tip tapping on the first topic written in the notebook partially forgotten in front of him, the poetry figuratively threw him out of his tracks, leading the decision to be the most impartial as possible due his… not so impartial past memories with that specific shade of red an even more difficult task than it already was.

 “Yes. Sure. Sorry, I- I’m just… very tired right now.”

 “You should go sleep, then.”

 The other snorted with the direct, immediate response. “I should, shouldn’t I? Gotta work, though.”

 Some part of Logan’s brain registered the new fact, separating and keeping it in a special place so he would remember to write it down in the new folder he bought, later.

 “I see.” … poetry? That wasn’t a hard topic to talk about. The one now nervously cleaning the very clear lenses twisted his mouth. He could talk about this for hours. No, correction: he already had previously talked about this for hours non stop.

 Logan strangely felt the urge to rub his face and scream. It has been years, - eleven years and 10 months to be precise – and exactly eight years since the one wearing glasses learned poetry because of him. Because of his constant habit of reciting Shakespeare before they would go to bed, until Logan brought himself to research and decorate all the poems he could muster, taking the task to now wake Prince – the name still carried a strong taste in his tongue – in the same way every single day. Before they realize, that becomes something between them. There were times when both didn’t talk, content in only reciting some verses and hear the other complete them. A part of Logan, that illogical and unfortunately full of feelings one wondered how their rap battles would be if they found each other right now.

 Did Prince even maintain his liking the same things he one day did? Does he still recite poetry? Does he maintain the same dreams? The same habits?  Does he even remember about him?

 Highly improbable.

 “You can call me Lo.”

 Roman slowly blinked, getting out the fog surrounding his brain to realize he was mindless staring at the pan’s boiling water, surprised the other still there. Well, it seems like he hasn't screwed terribly everything yet.

 “Lo? Like Lowrance?”

 “Even though my name does contain ‘Lo’ in it, no. It’s ‘Lo’ like Logic. I came to believe it’s a good idea the nomination after a predominant characteristic, since we can’t actively exchange our real names through the Soulmate System.”

 Roman’s breath hitched, a memory with yellow-ish edges and nostalgic smell unrolling in front of him.

 …

 ‘I think we should choose you a name with more personality in it, ya know?’ He threw himself on his bed, kicking his legs on the air before immediately scoping the plushie and laying it on his stomach. ‘Like a characteristic!’

 ‘I don’t see what is wrong with the nickname I choose.’

 ‘No, no! There is nothing wrong with it! But that could be something just between us!’ Then he gasped, picturing that, if he was inside a movie there would be a lamp shining right above his hair in this moment. ‘We could call you Ro!! You wanted to be a robot, right?’

 His soulmate growled and Roman felt a few pokes on his arm, the verbal protest doesn’t taking long before accompanying it. ‘I was three years old!’

 ‘And I’m never letting you live this down.’ He beamed, both knowing the annoyed scoff he got as response held no real heat. ‘Besides, we could even match our names!!’

 ‘That would be very counterproductive.’ Roman felt his hair being softly smoothed, a usual indication the other was losing himself in his thoughts. ‘Nicknames are supposed to help us. Having two equal names is not the most efficient thing.’

 Roman dramatically scoffed, picking the stuffed animal and half hugging it, his free hand occupying itself in making a couple of gestures to no one, since his soulmate couldn’t exactly see them. ‘It’s not about being productive, Bear! It’s about feelings!!’

 ‘And since when,’ a light poke was delivered on his belly, making him squeak and mess with the teddy bear’s hair in revenge ‘Everything isn’t feelings for you, your highness?’

 …

 “Okay,” Roman and his self past disappearing with the fading memory said, in synchrony “You shall call me by Prince, then.”

 Suddenly he felt himself falling, his hands quickly holding on the tabletop as the cold, nauseous feeling took over his stomach, more like a punch on it, his veins being filled with amounts of adrenaline for a glimpse of a second.

 “Excuse me? Warn a guy next time you decide to just drop his representation, dude! Damn.” Roman shook himself, trying to bring his body to calm down.

 “Sorry, I got… startled.” Logan gulped. The word ‘Prince’ echoing on his mind as a broken vinyl disc. What were the chances? That couldn’t be such a common nickname, right? Nor color. Nor interests. What were the chances? What could be the chances? Maybe he was just projecting, being played, tricked by a dangerous partnership between his own brain and emotions. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions due the nostalgic feeling fogging his actions, his thoughts. Perhaps-

 “Hey, Lo? Are you there?”

 “Yes.” Logan answered, his fingertips colliding quickly with the fabric of his pants as he visualized his options. “Yes, I am.”

 “Hm. Okay, then. I’m… glad to know.”

 Silence. Logan took a wobbly breath.

 “Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back; Wherein he puts alms for oblivion; A great-size monster of ingratitudes:”

  “Those scraps are good deeds past; which are devour'd; As fast as they are made, forgot as soon.” Roman continued without even noticing until the words danced in the air, just like the years haven’t passed.

 Then he understood.

  His heart stopped for a second, his eyes widening and his voice disappearing, as if his whole being was afraid to break the moment, the spell; as if this was a dream and a miscalculate step would make everything fade.

 “Bear?” Roman felt a light poke on his cheek.

 “Hello, Prince.”

 Roman choked a laugh, quickly crawling the teddy bear next to his chest, hugging it both firmly and yet so caring, curling around its - no, him - feeling an equal warmth involve his form as he hided his face on the soft fur, giggling and hugging, feeling so happy, so alive and right and good and he would never, ever, ever again let him go.

 “I missed you, bitch. Never scare me like this again.”

 “I… missed you, as well.” Logan tried to not let the emotion take over his tune, his hand petting the narwhal plushie softly, the words had abandoning him, as it seems. “This reunion is a… good surprise.”

 “Oh, shut up, I know you’re having a blast somewhere in that logic soul of yours, too.”

 Logan huffed, grinning. “Stop crying on my hair, your troglodyte.”

 “Make me, I dare you.”

 “Always so dramatic.” They both rolled their eyes, letting the moment be bathed in the deep waters of a comfortable silence.

 “Eleven years.”

 “We have so, so much to talk about!! Oh, my goodness gracious, I’m going to get my tea. Do you remember about that play I wrote about zombie princes and a dragon witch? You will NOT fucking believe what happened with it!”

 “Good thing I have you to explain to me then.” Roman stopped, a gigantic smile taking over his features as he closed his eyes to feel everything even more.

 “Yeah, I agree.”

 Somewhere in the world Patton and Virgil smiled during their sleep, unable to control themselves when a gigantic wave of pure joy and delight filled every corner of their hearts, coloring it on the most brilliant gleam, just like their stuffed animals resting peacefully on their grip.

[m6p2s5gziax8]

Deconstructing Season 3 Jim Hopper

Note1 - I wrote this before the 2020.02.14 "Stranger Things 4 | From Russia with love" teaser. I'm glad they didn't try to drag out the "is Hopper really dead" question - he's 100% back! Note2 - Ok, now that so many of us are inside and ST4 is delayed, I'm going to finally post this and hope some folks find it interesting. Note3 - 6+ months later, I'm finally posting this for real, enjoy! :)

Please Read * !!! MASSIVE S3 SPOILERS !!! * I am a huge fan of Stranger Things and Jim Hopper. * This is a critical analysis of season 3 Jim Hopper, aka s3-Hop. * I would never want to sour anyone's enjoyment of the show or s3-Hop. * Please skip this essay if you enjoy s3-Hop! * If you viewed season 3 and thought "Hopper sure was different" or "Hopper wasn't enjoyable like in s1 and s2" then please read on!

uber-TL;DR * s3-Hopper was unbelievably and (for me) unenjoyably different from s1/s2 * for s4, my hope is this extreme character shift is acknowledged by Hopper to Mike, Eleven, and Joyce

longer-TL;DR There were many changes in Stranger Things with season 3: the mall, the bright color pallet, the love-quadrangle pitting El/Max vs Mike/Lucas, Dustin splitting off from the boys to join the Scoops Troop, and the campy, Scooby-Doo-esque Russian base plot. I can accept these changes and enjoy many of their elements.

But s3 brought one massive change that was not a new character, location, nemesis, or team combo: I felt Jim Hopper's character change was simply unbelievable and unenjoyable.

Sadly, I may be in a tiny minority that does not speak up or that critical comments about a beloved show get "black holed" by show boosters on social media. Many ST fans were sad and angry that Hopper appears to have died and the letter reading at the end of s3 was very dramatic and moving. So analysis, and especially criticism, of s3-Hop is frequently down-voted or not liked and thus not socialized.

This is an attempt to collect the thoughts of one very unhappy s1/s2-Hopper fan about s3-Hop. I hope readers will enjoy the long detailed analysis (sorry it is so long!) and I look forward to any comments and feedback.

FWIW, I'm a big Stranger Things fan and David Harbour is a great actor (even in s3) and a Good person IRL. I loved s1/s2 Jim Hopper and how he was written in the official book Darkness on the Edge of Town.

Here are some collected and reformatted writings I've done on Hopper and his s3 change. My fave ST character is Eleven so s3-Hop becoming so different and unenjoyable is particularly jarring for me.

s3-Hop was so different from s1/s2-Hop as to make it seem like he is a new character. Not only that, but I did not enjoy this new character who acts: * anxious * whiny * selfish * sarcastic * self-entitled * super-violent

Recall Hopper's pre-s3 history from s1, s2, and the official book Darkness on the Edge of Town: * volunteered for the military at 18 (not drafted) * 3 years combat in Vietnam, awarded Bronze Star * 2 years as a Hawkins policemen, marries, has a daughter * 6 years in New York City as a homicide detective * after his daughter dies, hits the bottle/pills, gets divorced * back in Hawkins as Chief of Police and dating women * goes into the Upside Down and literally brings Will back to life with Joyce * takes Eleven in, she runs away, they each apologize * Hop protects Eleven while she unloads at maximum to fend off the Mind Flayer and close the Gate * El goes to the Snow Ball dance and Mike comes over for 6 months to be with her (and smooch!)

Now look at s3-Hop - a very brief s3 timeline: * he's anxious, has no gravitas or authority - he gets advice from Joyce on El/Mike * the evening of s3e1, s3-Hop writes about "emotions" and how he's upset about change * Then s3-Hop continues writing wise words about life that are all read in s3e8 * AFTER writing why he's upset and these wise words, s3-Hop proceeds to act like a mega-jerk * he is gleeful when Eleven is upset that Mike is not coming over * s3-Hop bizarrely thinks whining to Joyce will make her like him * WORST OF ALL, s3-Hop does not say "daughter", "kid", "Eleven", or "El" from s3e2-s3e7

Hopper went from a mega-over-protective dad in s2 who was able to legally adopt Eleven right before the Snow Ball to a jarringly different character in s3. I can see s3-Hop making bad judgments and behaving badly but just not in this anxious/silly/immature way. Why not have him be brooding and angry? That would be consistent with s1/s2. I fear the writers wanted a whacky/silly/goofy characterization for s3-Hop so that's what we got instead.

I can not stress this point enough: Hopper went from being El's loving, protective parent to forgetting about her once he broke her and Mike apart.

At the start of s3e2, Hopper watching El being upset and storming into her room because she missed Mike, his smiling while eating cereal, and then gleefully singing while going to work is when I was broke and I thought: This is not my Hopper.

s3 Hopper and Eleven then Hopper forgets Eleven - an episodic timeline:

e1 - Hopper is anxious and unnerved by Mike visiting Eleven daily since it reduces s3-Hop's time with El e1 - Hopper lies to Mike about his Grandma being sick and then frightens him into not coming over

e2 - When Eleven is upset the next day about Mike not appearing, Hopper is joyful e2 - Note, the song played while s3-Hop is gleeful at Eleven's separation from Mike is the same one that was used when s2-Hop took El into his cabin and started cleaning it up. What a terrible ruination of a wonderful, charming moment from s2. When I hear "You Don't Mess Around with Jim" now I just think of how unhappy El was and how uncaring s3-Hop was of her feelings after he chased Mike away.

e3 - Hopper drives home drunk and enters the cabin yelling angrily only to burst in on El and Max with no Mike; s3-Hop is very happy e3 - Note, s3-Hop wrote in his letter the night before that he missed spending time with El so his accepting Max with El at the cabin is inconsistent with what he wrote.

e4 - Hop adventures with Joyce (no mention of Eleven)

e5 - Hop, Joyce, and now Alexei road trip on the way to Illinois e5 - Hop does not mention El but at the gas station Joyce is worried and calls Karen: JOY - Oh, hey, Karen, it's Joyce. Yeah, I... I'm just checking on Will. At the movies?

e6 - Alexei describes how the Russians are re-opening the Gate and Joyce quickly gets up: HOP - Where are you going? JOY - To call our children. e6 - Note, Joyce said "our children" so she is also worried for El while an indifferent Hop drinks vodka with Murray e6 - Hop calls the feds and afterwards sits down and lights a cigarette, then: JOY - So, now what? HOP - Now, we, uh... we wait. JOY - How long do we wait? HOP - As long as it takes. JOY - How can you just sit there being calm? HOP - I am not calm! JOY - Our kids are in danger! HOP - You said they were at the festival! JOY - Which is, like, ten minutes from the gate! HOP - What are you doing? Joyce? HOP - What are you doing? JOY - [she calls the feds again pressing them to hurry] e6 - Note, s3-Hop talks here (and in most of s3) with various combinations of sarcasm, exasperation, indifference, and irritation. Just hearing his tone is so unpleasant and jarringly different from s1/s2-Hop.

e7 - in the car ride home, Hopper sarcastically ridicules Joyce about her being concerned about the kids: HOP - Oh! Wait, that's right! We're on our way to rescue our children from the big, bad Fourth of July celebration! JOY - You know what, if you can't handle this, then just turn around and drop me off first. HOP - What are you gonna do? You gonna walk back to Hawkins? JOY - I will do anything if it gets me away from you!

e8 - FINALLY Hopper arrives at the Mall and holds Eleven while she drinks a soda and rests her wounded leg e8 - Inexplicably, Joyce agrees to go on a date with Hop before the climax when he disappears

Why did the Stranger Things writers change Jim Hopper so much and so negatively in s3?

I think the writers want us to enjoy (or experience in my case) a new, goofy, ha-ha, funny version of Hopper who: * can't parent a teenage girl dating a boy, * is chasing Joyce for a date and then a relationship while she is still grieving the loss of Bob, and * despite acting like a jerk "sacrifices" himself in the end.

Then, to cap the season off, we get gut punched emotionally by Eleven reading s3-Hop's letter.

The writers likely thought the viewers would fall into two groups: * s3-Hop likers who enjoy this new s3-Hop would be upset at his "death" and moved to tears by the letter * s3-Hop dislikers who were annoyed by s3-Hop would flip to likers because of his "sacrifice" and feel guilty so they are also moved to tears by the letter

But remember: the timing of s3-Hop writing the letter about emotions with sagely advice. He wrote it the end of s3e1, after getting advice from Joyce at the store and just before lying to and threatening Mike to break him up with El. I don't think the writers thought viewers would catch this since the letter is so dramatically read (awesome performances by David and Millie) way at the end of the season in s3e8 after s3-Hop disappeared.

Why did s3-Hop act so different from s1/s2 and so badly if he can write so openly and wisely in s3e1 about emotions in the letter?

Why does this dramatic character transition occur? * s1/s2-Hop - bad temper, apathetic, lackadaisical with a good heart and over-protective of Eleven * s3-Hop - anxious, whiny, sarcastic, immature, self-entitled, selfish and mocking of Joyce for worrying about the kids including El

The breaker with s3-Hop for me was his complete turn around regarding Eleven. For s3e1 his only interest was stopping Mike from coming over and taking up El's time which he wanted for himself. Once the breakup was achieved he was very happy despite El's obvious upset.

Note, after breaking up El/Mike we never see s3-Hop make Eggo extravaganzas or watch a western with Eleven like he said he yearned for in the letter. Nor does he mention it to Joyce after breaking El and Mike apart. He read El's note on the fridge and proceeded to adventure with Joyce, all the while whiny to her about wanting a relationship.

Joyce on three occasions showed concerned and called someone about "Will", "our children", and "Our kids" and finally she said to Hop "I will do anything if it gets me away from you" because of his mocking her concern. (That was my favorite line in s3! - Joyce is so awesome)

After breaking up Mike and Eleven, from e4 to e7 Hopper did not show concern or caring about his adopted daughter. It was not until s3e8 in the Mall when Hop is seen holding El while she sips a soda and later he talks to her and is loving and supportive.

Is this Jim Hopper from s2 who was an over-protective, super-loving father to Eleven? Does Mike coming over and using most of El's time turn this decorated Vietnam combat veteran, who was a 6 year NYC homicide detective and current Chief of Police into an anxious, shrill father who can't think straight?

Why not have Hopper react to wanting more time with Eleven and wanting to date Joyce like the normal s1/s2-Hop we know and love?

I blame the writers from wanting s3-Hop to have an arc from nervous/unhinged to "sacrificing himself" and then the letter being read.

I think the s3-Hop character change was done so we'd be gut punched when he "died" and then the letter was read. And there's the additional goal of getting Hopper to fit in with the "summer of love" theme of s3 with him breaking up a love pairing with El/Mike and pursuing his own love with Joyce.

But the timing of when Hop wrote the letter just doesn't make any sense because of how he acted later. Additionally, if s3-Hop can not follow the life advice he wrote down, why does he act badly in such a different way then when he acted badly in s1/s2?

Because of this extreme character change I sadly can not watch s3-Hop anymore without being upset. It's just so unbelievable and unenjoyable.

Did Sarah's death or Mike's dating Eleven or PTSD from Vietnan explain or justify Hopper's s3 change?

These items have been mentioned as possible explanations for s3-Hop being so different from s1/s2. I initially tried to use Mike dating El as an excuse for Hopper's changes but after three s3 viewings I gave up because of everything else I've written in this essay. Here are some reasons while these explanations do not work for me.

1) Sarah's death was wrapped up when Hopper and Joyce saved Will in the upside down. Hopper literally brought Will back to life, something he could not do with Sarah. This was in incredibly moving scene and the end of a powerful arc for Hopper. But the point is it was the end of the arc: Sarah's death still impacts Hopper in s2 dealing with Eleven but Sarah dying isn't a driving force for s3-Hop and how he acts. That arc wrapped up and though it guides s2-Hop, he still acts in a consistent manor. In season 3 there's no mention of Sarah making s3-Hop stressed out so that arc is not in play.

2) Mike dating Eleven and their disrespecting Hopper are certainly stresses for s3-Hop but his reaction to breaking them up is out of character. El and Mike giggle and whisper with each other. Then s3-Hop - an adult, parent, and police chief - cruelly lies to Mike that his grandma is sick and then holds him in the car and threatens him after Mike angrily used profanity. Many commenters call Mike a "little sh|t" and side with tough guy s3-Hop and his approach. It would be consistent and believable for s3-Hop to act like this at night and then the next morning to have shown some remorse or some kind of caring to Eleven. s3-Hop could have said "too bad Mike isn't coming, let's have Eggos tonight and watch a Western." But he did not say anything to El. Instead, he smiled and then happily sang in the car on the way to work.

3) PTSD does not explain s3-Hop's behavior since we never see any evidence in the show that he is having flashbacks or any issues related to Vietnam. Also, writers just can't use PTSD as a do-anything-whenever-you-want-with-a-character excuse. Not only is there no Vietnam PTSD evidence in the episodes, there are many quotes from the official book with Hopper that he does not have PTSD.

3a) In s1, s2, and s3 the words "Vietnam" and "veteran" are never spoken. The only indication of Vietnam is a box under under Hop's cabin floor that Eleven sees when she discovers the trap door. Hopper never speaks of dreams or flashbacks and there is no other indication he has PTSD from Vietnam. His divorce, drinking, and pill abuse are all from Sarah dying based on what we see in the episodes.

3b) From the official book Stranger Things: Darkness on the Edge of Town (published May 28 2019):

1984 DECEMBER 26 - 11 days after the Snow Ball Dance with Jim and El in the cabin: The truth was, Hopper realized, that he didn’t want to talk about Vietnam, not because it was a trauma or a personal demon, but because it was ancient history—but more than that, it felt like part of some other person’s life. Although he hadn’t really stopped to consider it properly, he was aware of how he had compartmentalized his past in his own mind. So, yes, Vietnam had been difficult, and he had come back changed—as most people did, of course—but it just wasn’t relevant, not anymore. That wasn’t him, not now. Because he had come to accept that there were really only two parts to his life. Before Sara. After Sara. And nothing else really mattered. Vietnam included. He just wasn’t quite sure how he was going to explain that to El. “Because,” said Hopper with a smile, “Vietnam was a long time ago. I mean, a really long time ago. And I’m not that person now.” He leaned forward on the table, resting on his elbows. “Look, I’m sorry, really. I can understand that you are curious. And I understand you want to know more about me. I’m your—” He paused. El raised an eyebrow, cocked her chin again, waiting for the response. Hopper sighed, happily. “I’m your dad, now. And yes, there is a lot you don’t know about me. Vietnam included. One day I’ll tell you about it, when you’re older.”

1977 JULY 13 - Homicide Detective Hopper in New York City: This was a support group for veterans of the Vietnam War. Hopper knew such groups existed. He knew full well that such groups were needed. That he’d come out of the war unscathed and with his marbles all where they should be was a blessing. Okay, it had changed him, and he wasn’t going to pretend that it hadn’t been difficult at times. But what the war had done to some people... He’d never felt the need to attend a meeting like this himself, but he was glad they were there for those who did feel that need.

How can Jim Hopper's portrayal recover in season 4?

First off, there is no doubt that David Harbour is returning to play Jim Hopper in season 4 (and s5 if there is one). This is David's big, career making role that is getting him award nominations/wins (the most for any adult ST actor), and he just got a huge raise (80k to 350k per episode). And, most importantly, he loves doing the show and the people in it (especially Millie).

Since what's done is done with s3-Hop, what can happen with Hopper in s4 to bring him back into a believable and enjoyable form for huge ST fans who miss s1/s2 Jim Hopper?

I am very much hoping that Hopper will dial back or eliminate his new s3 qualities, like being whiny, selfish, complaining constantly, etc. Please bring back some of his old s1/s2 strength and empathy under a grumpy exterior.

And I hope Hopper does a reset with three people:

1) Mike - Hopper needs to do more to make up to Mike than just saying "Mike, Be careful" like he did in s3e8 at the Mall. Hop should clearly say that he accepts Mike as El's boyfriend and that he knows he'll do everything possible to keep her safe. Which is actually what Mike did for all of s3 while s3-Hop was adventuring with Joyce.

2) Eleven - While the Letter explains why Hop was feeling upset (change, less time with El, etc), it does not justify how s3-Hop acted afterward when he lied and threatened Mike breaking them up. Hop needs to clearly apologize to Eleven for being selfish, immature, and inconsiderate.

3) Joyce - I hope that Hopper admits to Joyce that he acted like a jerk towards her and that he promises to be a better person in general and especially better with her. That's the only way I can make any sense out of Joyce and Hopper being any kind of couple: Hop has to own up to his terrible behavior towards Joyce and promise to be better.

The End! Sort of... :)

Well, you've read or skimmed or skipped all the way to the almost end and I thank you for taking time to look at my thoughts about Jim Hopper's portrayal in season 3. I still love Hop and think David does an incredible acting job with him in each season. I've been 100% sure he's coming back since the Duffers have bluntly said: no body = no death. So while I'm a little scared at how Hopper will be characterized in season 4, I'm also very excited to see it! Word is that season 4 will have more episodes (10, 11, 12?) than normal. Plus, the Duffers just signed a big deal with Netflix so I'm wondering if season 4 will be a semi-finale for the series and give the Duffers and the stars a break to do other stuff and then come back for a movie or a season after more ideas have percolated in the Duffers' creative minds.

So, here's looking forward to season 4 when we can see Jim Hopper evolve along with all the other great Stranger Things characters.

[bittykimmy13]

Best Wishes (GT) ~ 1

This is G/t fanfiction of the Netflix movie The Half of It. Watch the movie if you haven't seen it. Enjoy. 

I certainly enjoyed it so much that I immediately needed a G/t version of it :') This will probably be a shorter story, with short chapters. Just something cute and light after the slew of angst the past couple years haha (but yes of course there will be angst, who do you think I am?) Anyway, this takes place in a potential future of the print universe. YEP, a print story where the characters aren't under immediate threat of physical pain/death 24/7 <333

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mid-afternoon sun beat down on the lonely stretch of road. Autumn pedaled her bike on a separate print-sized path beside the tree line, bracing herself whenever human cars roared by. Luckily, those were few and far between at this time of day. Unless humans were headed for the southern exit of the town where their kind of homes were sparse, they didn’t have much reason to be there. Mostly, all that remained at this end was a tight cluster of print neighborhoods and woodland.

It would be easier if she paid for human transportation to and from her summer job, but she told herself every morning that she needed to save money and that it wasn’t her pride holding her back. If she wanted to sustain herself through the next school year, she’d need to tough out the commute on her own.

The rumble of an engine approached in the distance. She tensed, but didn’t stop pedaling. This engine in particular was familiar—one she had been dreading.

Sure enough, as the pick-up truck slowed beside her, the human boys inside shouted at her through the open windows.

“Think you’ll make it home by morning?”

“Aww, why’re you ignoring us, mouse? Think you’re too good?”

“Why don’t you come in here and sit on my lap? I’ll get you where you need to go!”

Autumn kept her eyes trained on the path in front of her. It wasn’t worth snapping back at them. One, they wouldn’t hear her over the sound of that old-world relic of a pick-up. Two, they were all easily over six feet tall. She didn’t even reach mid-calf for them. Let them have their fun from the road, as long as they didn’t get out to stop her on the path and tower over her.

Keep it together. You’ll be free of them again in a couple months.

Their laughter faded as the truck roared ahead, and she could finally breathe again. She swore they took the long way these days just to mess with her. Now that they were gone, her tense anticipation of their approach could be laid to rest until tomorrow. However, her moment of relaxation lasted roughly five minutes.

A rhythmic pounding came from behind her—the footsteps of a jogging human. She clenched her jaw and kept her eyes forward. Why couldn’t some humans get it through their thick skulls that this path wasn’t meant for their exercise? It was meant for prints like her to get home somewhat safely if they didn’t have a ride. Besides, who the hell wanted to be running in this heat? As the footsteps became more pronounced, she groaned and started to swerved her bike off the path to let the human pass her without potential murder.

“Hey!” The human’s steps slowed as his voice boomed after her. “Autumn Yang!”

She braked so hard she nearly fell off her bike. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw a human with wavy dark-blond hair coming after her on the path. She blanched in recognition. He’d gone to high school with her, like the other boys in the pick-up. Tucker West. Had they really deployed one of the guys to come after her on foot? Her hand tensed on the phone in her pocket as she wondered if she should call for help.

There was no time. She pedaled hard.

“Wait up!” His pounding footsteps kicked up to a jog again.

It was laughable how easily he caught up. In no time at all, his shadow had fallen over her, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t dare look back, knowing she’d lose her balance if she dared to peer up at his dizzying height. From the brief look she’d gotten, he was somehow taller now since graduation.

“Autumn, hey! I said wait up!”

The shadow darkened, and her bike came to an abrupt stop. The momentum launched her over the handles, making her come to a hard fall on the asphalt. She winced at the scrape on her forearm and sat up, scrambling to face Tucker West.

He was crouched low with one hand braced to the ground, while his other fingers still pinched the back tire of her bike. His dark eyes were wide, and his lips were parted dumbly as he assessed what he had done.

“Wow, I-I’m sorry,” he stammered, giving a laugh of disbelief. “Shit, I didn’t know you were gonna fall like that.”

“You expected me to fall a different way?” She picked herself up and dusted her shorts off. “What’s wrong with you? Besides not knowing how physics work.”

“No, really, I’m sorry. But you weren’t stopping, and I…” He shrugged lamely.

Praying that he couldn’t see how badly she trembled under his shadow, she stormed over to her bike and grabbed the handles. “Give it back, Tucker. Leave me alone. We’re not in fucking high school anymore—I dunno why you and your friends couldn’t mature past your glory days, but leave me out of it.”

He cocked his head. “My friends?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb. The assholes who’ve been screeching past me every day since I came home for the summer.”

“You mean Jason and them? They’re not my friends.” He kept his grip on the bike, seemingly unaware that she was trying to wrench it out of his fingers. “Look, I saw you were back in town, and I have a favor to ask. See, there’s this girl—”

“No, I will not help you seduce some girl by pretending to be your quirky print friend to prove you have a softer side. Beat it, or I’ll tell her you stalked me on my way home.”

Cheeks flushing, he shook his head. “That’s not it! Remember how you used to write people’s assignments for them?”

Of course she remembered. How could she not? The money she’d made from that had ensured she could eat comfortably while she was away for her freshman year of college. She stopped pulling on the bike and narrowed her eyes at him. She’d written a few papers for him back then, but that was the long and short of their interaction.

“Somehow, I doubt you need a philosophy analysis written for you in the middle of summer, two years out of high school,” she said.

Despite her flat tone, he looked at her excitedly, like she was a co-conspirator in a scheme she knew nothing about. “Well, you’re right about me needing your help with the girl. I mean, not the seducing her part, but uh… yeah, okay, kinda.”

“Either give me the point, or give me my bike.”

“You’re good at writing, okay? And I need help with that.” He pursed his lips and shrugged.

“Look, I’m not good with words, so I want to write her a letter. I tried already by myself, but it never sounds good, you know?”

She gave the bike another test tug, disappointed to find that his fingers’ grip hadn’t slackened in tandem with that wistful look on his face. She scoffed. “Write a letter? Like on paper? Who does that?”

He pouted. “I thought it would be romantic.”

“I mean, I guess. If she’s into that kind of stuff. Who is she, anyway?”

“Lacey. Lacey Ramirez.”

Autumn let go of the bike and staggered back a few steps, arms limp at her sides.

“You know her, don’t you?” Tucker said. “Didn’t you used to be friends with her?” He paused, taking in her slack-jawed expression and tense stance. “Oh. Do you guys have bad blood? Shit, I figured it would be easier for you to help since you know her.”

She shook her head. “N-no, we don’t have bad blood. But I’m not doing this. I’m not helping you write a stupid love letter to Lacey Ramirez. Just go talk to her. It’s not that hard.”

“You don’t get it! It’s hard. It’s, like, super hard.”

For all his insistence, he finally let go of the bike when Autumn lunged forward and jerked at the handles again. She gave one last look at his knelt form towering over her, feeling a spike of bitterness. Of course it wouldn’t be hard for him to win Lacey over. He was tall, handsome, and built. But most importantly, human. A perfect match for Lacey. She turned around and started walking her bike away.

“I’ll pay you,” he said. She walked a little faster, worried he’d give chase again. She was still within reach of his stupid long arms, but he didn’t make a grab. “However much you need. Set your price.”

Autumn hesitated, and his voice jumped.

“I’m in love with her,” he insisted. “Please. You have to help me. I’m sure you could use the money.”

She glared over her shoulder. “What makes you say that?”

He leaned back a little and planted his hands on his lap, perhaps to make it seem like he wasn’t trying to crowd her. “I dunno. You’re working, aren’t you? That means you need money.”

She did.

Hissing out a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “One letter.” He started to grin and straighten up in excitement, prompting her to hold up a finger. “One letter! And I name my price after I finish it. I’ll type up a draft and send it so you can write it out. What’s your number?”

“What? No, hey, I want to be there with you while you come up with it. We could help each other, can’t we?”

She rolled her eyes. “Where?”

“Library, tomorrow at noon?”

She frowned, shocked that he was so casually okay with being seen in public with a print. It wasn’t exactly outlandish these days, she just didn’t figure someone like him would be alright with it.

Maybe it was the surprise that made her nod. “Fine. But I work tomorrow, so let’s make it two.”

“So we have a deal!” His hand shot toward her, and she might have fallen on her ass if he hadn’t stopped a few safe inches away. He held his finger and thumb slightly parted—an invitation to a handshake that she would much rather not attend.

But, figuring it would get him out of her hair faster, she stiffly walked closer and placed her hand on his fingertip. She braced for pressure, but he was actually  quite gentle when he pinched her hand and moved it down once. After getting tossed off her bike, she never would have expected that from him.

“See ya tomorrow.” He let go and gave a small wave. His grin was wide and blinding as he stood up.

She couldn’t help but flinch, seeing him at his full height again. He didn’t linger, though. The pound of footsteps resumed, but this time they headed away from her. It wasn’t until he was a good distance away that she, for the second time, could breathe again.

As she mounted her bike and started pedaling, her mind swam in disbelief of what had just happened. Tucker West, former football star and high school has-been, had sought out her help with a handwritten love letter. And for Lacey Ramirez, of all people.

It wouldn’t be hard finding the words—just hard to share them. She hadn’t spoken much to Lacey since sophomore year of high school. It wasn’t that they had a falling out or bad blood. It was just that Autumn had quietly pulled away from that friendship when she came to the terrifying realization that she had fallen in love with Lacey.

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips to Smooth the Edges of Your Rough Draft

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in the pure rush of creating something new. Later on, when you come back for a second glance, the writing doesn’t have that same sparkle. You may not want to hear this, but editing is your friend—and it doesn’t have to be a painful process. Today, NaNoWriMo participant Rebekah reminds us that editing is writing:

Editing the rough draft of a story is a dreaded part of writing.

It takes just as much, if not more time, than actually writing a draft. But never fear! I've created my own method of tackling the first draft that I'd like to share with all of you as you work on your stories.

I find tips easier to follow if I'm given steps, so here is a step-by-step of the process I have been following with the rough draft of my very first book.

1. Let the draft sit for at least a month. 

This means don't touch it at all. Don't read it, don't do tiny edits. If it helps, pretend it doesn't exist. Taking a break from the draft helps me distance myself from what I wrote. It makes the text almost seem like it was written by someone else, which can make it easier to critique and fix.

2. Read the draft after the break period and don’t edit it at all. 

Read it like you would a new book and document all issues you find. This will make it easier to write the next draft. 

3. Find a format for your story that will be the easiest for you to edit. 

For me, it meant printing out the whole story, which then led me to realize something to work on in draft two (more on that in step 4). Writing in red ink all over a hard copy of my first draft has helped me, and more importantly, I'm comfortable with it. If you aren't comfortable with editing in your story's current format, then find another format that works. 

4. Find at least one thing to look at throughout your editing process. 

This is by far a harder step, but once you do it, the editing process becomes a whole lot easier. I realized my chapters were too short, so I decided to find ways I could build more plot into my chapters. Other common fixes could involve decreasing adverbs and using more emotions. This gives you a goal while editing, which can be helpful to writers like me who are very goal-oriented. 

5. Make a “chapter wrap-up”.

This is a completely optional step, and may only work for some writers, but it has helped me immensely. I call it a chapter wrap-up, and write it out after I finish editing a chapter. It includes four sections: Characters, Plot Points, Items to Adjust, and Connections/Extra Analysis. 

Under Characters, I list the characters present in the chapter and the new ways they’ve developed. Under the Plot Point section, I mention all major plot points for reference in future drafts. My Items to Adjust section includes my major flaws in the chapter as wells as smaller issues to adjust. The Connections/Extra Analysis section includes any other information I find important to include after editing a chapter.

This list has worked the best for me, but every writer is different. Improvise on this list, or find your own way! Tackle that first draft and start editing!

Rebekah lives in the United States. When she isn’t writing, you will likely find her reading comics or books, playing on her tenor or alto saxophone, listening to soundtracks, knitting, or taking nature walks. She hopes to publish her current book by the end of high school. You can find her on Instagram.

Top photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 42 Review: Here Goes Peter Cottontail

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

At last, we’ve hit another milestone on Strange Paradise. A little less than a year ago, I discussed the third and final costumed flashback. Just under six months ago, we reached Episode 30, the first episode for which conclusive proof of executive meddling exists. And today we shall explore the introductory episode of a character particularly notorious among Strange Paradise fans. That’s right: this episode features the first appearance of the infamous Rabbit of Evil. The true face of evil has arrived on Maljardin, and it's soft with long ears and a fuzzy tail.

Because the plot has now split off completely from the Lost Episode summaries and I’ve already discussed the one for this episode, I’m going to ignore it for this post. I’m not even going to do much analysis this time. Instead, let us just lay out our beach towels on Maljardin, relax, and bask in the glow of the coming insanity.

Early morning on Maljardin. The unseen clock chimes three, and already Jean Paul Desmond is up sitting on the couch in the Great Hall next to the decanter of his favorite drink. Although it is the demon hour and almost everyone else in the château is asleep as far as he knows, he is already dressed in his brown velvet jacket, as one does when one is the richest man in the world on the coldest tropical island in existence. One would assume that he would at least loosen his tie to make himself a little more comfortable, but then, I’m not a fancy rich guy living in the 1960s, so what would I know?

Feeling the presence of his demonic ancestor Jacques Eloi des Mondes, he stands up and approaches his portrait as though in a trance. During their brief staring contest, Jacques begins to taunt him: “Come now, Jean Paul Desmond. Three o'clock in the morning and still you wander the house. Why?”

“Because your evil wanders here, Jacques Eloi des Mondes!” Jean Paul answers overly dramatically. “I sum-”

“Jean Paul, no oaths on your honor that you would be compelled to uphold. It might be the end of us both. And Erica might never rise to a new beginning.”

Jacques tells Jean Paul to go to bed because *he’s* tired. Could this be evidence that Jacques and Jean Paul are one and the same?

I like the way that Raxl's face appears on the screen just as the title card is fading.

Raxl paying her respects to Erica Desmond.

We cut to Raxl visiting Erica’s cryocapsule, when suddenly a little cockatiel starts tweeting. And who could it be but our mascot, the adorable Chalcko?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<3

Quito checking on his beloved bird.

Meanwhile, Jean Paul visits the lab to find Dr. Alison Carr sleeping at her desk, Dr. Menkin’s notes next to her:

For the love of yourself, Jean Paul, do not disturb!

He wakes her up despite it being very early in the morning (because God forbid she not sleep in her own bed, I guess?). Really, there are only a handful of good excuses to wake someone up at 3 AM, including to ensure they catch an early flight and to kick them out of your bar after they passed out drunk with their glass shattered into a million pieces in front of the talking portrait across the room. Having fallen asleep at one’s desk while pulling an all-nighter that your employer deems unnecessary isn’t one of them, IMO. But, just like my cat who wakes me up around 3 almost every night crying for a midnight snack, he gets away with it because he’s cute.

Jacques has made cat-like faces before on this show, so now it’s Jean Paul’s turn to act like a cat.

That’s not to say that Jean Paul’s cuteness makes Alison any less annoyed with him. He asks her why she stayed up so late to study the notes, and she responds, “I can't sleep very well, anyway, and what else is there to do, since you keep us here as prisoners on this Island? Good night and please don't disturb anything.“ She leaves and he starts flipping through the notes.

Meanwhile, outside among the suspiciously Canadian coniferous trees of Maljardin...

Wait for it...

Quito finds a big, fluffy black rabbit hopping around the garden and brings the adorable, plump creature inside. His crush Holly happens to be in the Great Hall when he returns, and she falls in love with the rabbit at first sight.

“I didn't know anything as wholesome and innocent like that existed on Maljardin,” she coos. "Oh, he's so sweet! I haven't seen anything like him for--well, it seems like a whole lifetime.”

Then she remembers what Raxl said about there being no wild animal life on the island. “But Quito,” she says, “Raxl said like, nothing like this could exist on this island for three hundred years! I guess this little fellow disproves that, doesn't it?”

“What are you going to do with it?” she continues. “I mean, are you going to keep it?” Quito shakes his head. “You should. You should keep it for a pet. He’d make a lovely pet, something nice in this house of accident and death.” Because Quito is reluctant to keep the rabbit and has no way of expressing why to Holly, she offers to keep it as a pet.

“I wonder how he managed out there with all that poisonous undergrowth around?” she thinks out loud, as the rabbit starts to try to jump out of Kurt Schiegl’s arms, which I doubt was in the script. The rabbit they got to play the new embodiment of evil on Maljardin doesn’t always want to behave the way the plot demands. I suspect that, instead of getting a trained animal actor, someone just brought in their pet or bought a bunny on short notice at an Ottawa pet store or nearby farm. I like the rabbit. The rabbit does what it wants and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about following the script or doing what Jerry Layton wants it to.

Holly asks Quito to make her a cage so that she can keep the rabbit in her room, and he nods in agreement (I’m guessing just because he knows it’ll please her). He leaves. She sits down at the dining room table and rings for Raxl, who is not pleased when she tells her about the new guest:

Holly: "Hey, Raxl." Raxl: "Good morning, Miss Holly." Holly: "You know, everything I've heard about this island isn't the truth." Raxl: "Truth is a matter of seeing." Holly: "Well, I've seen. You told me that because of the curse, nothing could exist outside in that poisonous jungle." Raxl: "The Devil's evil is everywhere on Maljardin!"

Holly: "Well, just this once, Raxl, you may be wrong." Raxl: "It may be that demon wants you to think I am!"

Raxl instantly suspects that the rabbit is a tool of THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES.

The bit about all the plants being poisonous on Maljardin, by the way, may be a retcon. In Episode 13, Jacques mentions that papayas are native to the island. I suppose that, because he didn’t say that they were picked on Maljardin, that they could have been grown on another island. Still, I’m not ruling out the possibility of Ian Martin and/or a ghostwriter retconning this detail.

This scene is followed by a cool shot where the camera pans along the side of the staircase and over to Jacques’ portrait (see the beginning of Part 2), then a short scene of Quito pulling out a huge wicker picnic basket for a makeshift cage while Chalcko tweets as though trying to warn him of the evil presence.

In the morning, Alison returns to the lab to find Jean Paul in a scandalous state of undress:

Ye gods! He took off his suit jacket again! I am SHOCKED and SCANDALIZED by this wanton display of nudity! ;)

Jean Paul must be even more stressed now than last night if he not only has his suit jacket off, but has also loosened his tie. Turns out he ended up pulling an all-nighter himself in the lab reading the notes, even though Alison doubts that he possesses the necessary knowledge to understand notes about cellular reconstruction. Jean Paul asks Alison if Dr. Menkin did any experiments on animals, but it’s not clear if he’s asking just out of curiosity, because of something mentioned in the notes, or if somehow he feels the presence of the rabbit despite not having seen it yet. Whatever his motivation, the screenwriter almost certainly added the line to imply that the rabbit may have belonged to Dr. Menkin.

Using such a line as a hint (or, more likely, as a red herring) is a very Ian Martin thing to do, so I’m thinking that he must have written this scene. For a while, I suspected that perhaps some ghostwriter hired by either Jerry Layton or Steve Krantz inserted the scenes with the rabbit into a later draft, but now I’m having second thoughts. While it is possible that one of the showrunners hired a ghostwriter to speed up the script edits, this line has Martin’s influence written all over it. The insertion of the evil rabbit isn’t his style, but this kind of dialogue certainly is.

Also note that the very next shot is of the rabbit again.

Hearing the bird tweet is making Quito anxious. It’s obvious that the bird detects some sort of presence.

Jean Paul and Alison go to the dining room and sit down for breakfast with Holly. Jean Paul reminds her that another séance is coming and she tells him that she wants no part of it. “The spirits will decide that, and the Conjure Woman,” says Raxl.

“Vangie said that the conjure cards--the Tarot cards--spoke to one person,” Jean Paul adds, flubbing his line adorably. “They may well speak to another, for or against.” I’m not sure what he’s implying, especially because he faces Alison (or maybe the Teleprompter) as he delivers the line.

More proof that Maljardin is no tropical paradise, but a dystopia. (”Rattled” = “Raxl’s”)

Alison tells Holly that Jean Paul will probably blame them if the séance doesn’t bring him into contact with Erica and Jean Paul glares at her before flouncing passive-aggressively. I’m so conflicted about Jean Paul at this point because he’s becoming more and more of a control freak (and therefore more and more unlikeable), and yet he’s so adorable. Take a look at the face he makes just before flouncing:

Foxy!

And this shot of him from earlier in the scene:

Never have I seen any guy look this cute after pulling an all-nighter.

Holly tells Alison about the rabbit Quito bought brought her (yes, there’s another creative line interpretation). “That’s impossible!” she replies, stunned. “I mean, nothing alive exists out there now.” There are so many flubs in this episode that it makes me wonder if the actors had less time to rehearse than usual.

An unspecified amount of time later, Alison catches Jean Paul arguing with Jacques’ portrait, then Quito feeds the rabbit a carrot to the sound of more tweets. (Anyone else miss the days when “tweets” referred only to the noise that birds make? God, I'm barely 28 and already I feel so old.) Alison warns Jean Paul that dabbling in the occult is bad for his mental health, but he doesn’t care because he needs to hear Erica’s voice so badly. He tells her he’ll buy her some animals for her experiments the next time he visits the main island just to shut her up. (Spoiler: He won’t.)

And then Quito arrives, carrying the rabbit in its makeshift cage. Like Raxl, Jean Paul is not pleased to see the animal. “Holly, where on Earth did you get that!” he asks.

“Right on this Earth, on this island, from Quito,” she responds innocently.

Jean Paul giving his best “WTF” face. He’s lived on the island long enough to know that the rabbit came out of nowhere.

He asks Raxl about it and she cries out to the Great Serpent to tell her what the Devil’s plans are for Maljardin, making the Sign of the Great Serpent with her hands. Alison insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl reminds her that no animals can survive outside on the island--meaning, by her logic, that it must be a demon or similar evil being!

Jean Paul asks Quito where he found the rabbit. Raxl interprets the signs he makes as meaning “on the path to the boathouse,” which leads Holly and Alison to think that the rabbit must have snuck aboard Quito’s boat and sailed there with him. Raxl’s response?

Raxl: “It is a creature of the Devil!”

Holly objects and insists that the rabbit is only an animal, but Raxl sticks to her belief that it’s actually a demon assuming the guise of innocence, most likely sent by THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES himself! No one believes her, not even Jean Paul:

Jean Paul: "I must admit, Raxl, this is very unlikely." Raxl: "Not here. An animal here is an impossibility. Is that not true?" Jean Paul: "Until now, yes!" Raxl: "Then what force altered the impossible? There are forces at work on Maljardin as the hour draws near when the master will attend a séance and seek through purified mind and cleansed spirit to reach his Erica beyond the veiled curtain. What does the master say?"

Jean Paul does not respond. He looks like he is about to cry.

Raxl: "Quito! You will remove the rabbit. It is evil!"

Raxl: "It brings danger and wickedness and more evil than we will ever know! It must be destroyed and buried in the sea!"

Raxl: "If the master wishes to contact his Erica and hear her voice, he will be advised: that animal is evil!" Holly: "Mr. Desmond, please, no!"

Jacques’ commentary.

Coming up next: Raxl makes a horrifying--and mystifying--discovery when she examines the Rabbit of Evil.

{ <- Previous: Episode 41   ||   Next: Episode 43 -> }

[mappinglasirena]

Mapping La Sirena

Welcome one and all to the Mapping La Sirena Project!

If you are a fan of Star Trek: Picard and you would like to know more about the show’s most prominent ship, to check out floor plans and screencaps, and to discuss theories about the layout of this magnificent vessel, this is will be the place for you!

(Long, slightly rambly introduction and masterpost after the cut ;] )

Hi! My name is Lili and I’ve been a fan of pretty much all things Star Trek ever since I started watching Voyager at the tender age of 6. Besides the sometimes goofy, often brilliant storytelling and the wonderful characters, I always loved the worldbuilding of these shows - and in particularly the starships.

When Star Trek: Picard started airing a  few months ago, I was immediately drawn to the main ship, La Sirena. The mixture of the monumental physical set, judiciously used CGI, and sheer attention to detail made me fall madly in love with this little mermaid, and I wanted to find out every little thing about her that I possibly could. And since I imagine, I’m not the only one who feels this way, I decided to take you all on this journey with me!

What am I doing here?

As a reader and writer of fanfic, I know how helpful it can be to have a clear sense of the location your story is set in. When I realized that a good month after the final episode of ST:PIC season one aired, there still was no floor plan of La Sirena easily found on the web (easily = using my very limited googling-skills), I figured somebody had to sit down and do it. And apparently, that somebody was me. (May the gods help us all =D)

So, I sat myself down, and over the course of a few long days screencapped every single last scrap of Sirena that appears on the show. I now have a library of reference images and will post my progress as I work through them, trying to determine questions about the general layout of this ship, the details of its architecture and furnishings and all the questions that still remain. By the end of it, I am pretty confident that I will have a mostly accurate floorplan of the set that was used on the show (at least the parts of it that were shown to us thus far). We might even end up with the basis for a plan of the ship as it would exist in-universe (more on the movie set vs. “real place” issue later).

The following soon-to-be-links might give you an idea of what I plan to post over the next few months and I’ll keep adding links to this post as I go. So, without (even more) ado: Have fun exploring La Sirena!

Schematics & Floor Plans

A very crude first sketch

Official Set plan

We finally have an official set plan from the Ready Room!

A First Deeper Look at the Ready Room set plans

Centred Floor Plans from Set Me Up + cross section & more designs

Layout of the Captain’s Quarters

Shape and size

How large is La Sirena as seen on the show and is she larger on the inside?

Upper Deck

The Bridge

Where is the Holodeck?

Picard’s Study

Transporter Pad and Engine

The Trouble with Locating the Quarters/Conference Room

Crew Quarters

Captain’s Quarters

A closer Look at the windows

Conference room

The Mysterious Back End of the Ship

Crates, Tanks, Boxes, and Miscellania

Lower Deck

The Mess

Sickbay: Pt. 1: Size and Construction; Pt. 2: Furniture

So Many Nets

The Wall Problem, aka. Mysterious Nonexistent Corridors

Cargo Bay and other Speculative Spaces

Is there a dedicated cargo bay at the back of the ship?

Where are the rest of the crew quarters hidden?

Overall Design and Technological Aspects

A quick rundown of the Engine placement and history

Some Considerations

Tv Set vs . Starship

The set of La Sirena is just that, a tv set. When building a set, there are many constraints of time, budget, and practicality that will force the creatives to make decisions that will not always make sense when mapped onto a “real” starship. Take, for example, the fact that the Captain’s Quarters and the Conference Room were likely filmed in the same physical set, just redressed for the occasion.

Of course, there can always be Watsonian explanations for these kinds of incongruities and I’d love to hear people’s takes or read fics about them (after all, the entirety of La Sirena is apparently equipped with holoemitters, so I suppose technically, anything is possible).

But I am sticking with the Doylian “it’s a movie set” approach and will generally ignore these kinds of problems when trying to draft an in-universe-accurate floorplan of what we can know of the ship so far. I will be very diligent about pointing out whenever I handwave anything, though, so if you want to stick as closely to what we actually see on the whoe, you’ll know which parts of my analysis/headcanon to disregard ;)

Questions about “silly little details”

I have spend a ridiculous amount of time on this little project so far and in the course of it have gotten pretty familiar with a lot of aspects of the interior and exterior of this amazing starship. If you have any questions regarding details about what we can see of La Sirena on the show, please ask me and I will do my best to help! I absolutely love digging into the really nitpicky, tiny little scraps of information, and at this point, I can probably tell you straight away which scene might provide the info you’re looking for or whether there likely is no answer and you’ll have to get creative. So if you don’t feel like scrubbing through the entire 10 episodes of Picard to find out, say, the colour of the plates produced by Sirena’s replicators, please shoot me an ask, I’m always utterly delighted to help! (They’re white, btw.)

And just to make clear what I mean by “tiny little details”: in the course of writing some of my stories, I have collected answers to such important questions as

On which side of the desk does Rios have his chair? (Both)

How many cups are on the shelf next to the replicators? (4, even when one of them is currently in use)

Could a football roll under the railing on the upper deck and fall down into the mess hall anywhere but where the stairs go down? (No, there is a raised edge all around the rim that would catch it. Bouncing would work, though, since the space between the railing bars is large enough.)

Could I just say “Fuck it, I’ll just write it however, because it really doesn’t matter at all?” Yes. Would it be better for my sanity? Probably. Will I still keep trying to figure out as much about this crazy little ship as I possibly can at every turn? You betcha! So, no question is too silly, please ask away!!

A Quick Thought on Fanfic and “Accuracy”

This whole project started because whenever I write fanfic or make up stories set on La Sirena, my brain keeps insisting that we need to know which side of the mess hall the replicators are on! We need to know where exactly the holodeck is located and whether a football could fall to the lower deck through the railing. I would never hold anyone to these standards of “accuracy” - in fact I frequently don’t hold myself to these standards. Fic is for creative expression, so if in your imagination, La Sirena is twice the size of what we see in the show and has a ton of additional rooms and features, I would love to read that story! I want to create a resource for anyone looking for Sirena references to get inspired, not to point out inconsistencies or canon-divergence in lovingly created fanworks. I hope it comes across that way =)

[xoruffitup]

Burn This 7/14: Final Show Recap

Burn This is over and I’m a mess of feels. This play has gifted me with four solid months of incredible performances, late NYC nights with friends both new and old I will treasure forever, and short but beautiful moments of dreams coming true at stage door. The final performance was overwhelming, hysterical, and oh so bittersweet. 

First – A conclusive update about the letter book! After Adam didn’t come out to stage door on Friday or Saturday (understandable tbh because both nights had giant, rowdy crowds), the crowd was absolutely MASSIVE on Sunday after the last matinee. People were pushing, crowding, yelling Adam’s name and it was absolute madness. When Adam got down to me, the crowd was literally pushing in from every angle and there were about ten people reaching their Playbills out to him around my head, but I just started talking. Given the manic atmosphere I only had time to get out something like: “I’ve seen the show several times and had incredible dialogues about it. This is a collection of messages from people about what the show meant to them.” Adam literally could not stop moving or else the crowd would have caged him in, but he looked back at me, still listening, and when one of the security guys took the book Adam looked straight at me to acknowledge and thank me! Both he and the security guard assured me it would get to him. I didn’t get to explain it fully but I think he understood what it was and the book will speak for itself!

This is the cover I made for the collection:

You can see me hand over the white laminated book right at the beginning of this video, and Adam look back to say thank you. 

My friend next to me also took this video where he looks back at me for half a second :’D And gives a tiny smile! (in the middle of that pandemonium, poor bb) 

Let me quickly say a big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed. <3 After that insane crowd at stage door, those wholesome, thoughtful messages about his work in this play would be the perfect remedy. Thank you so much to all of you for taking the time to write out appreciation for everything he gives us. :’)

NOW, the show!

Okay so firstly, the downside: I was NOT impressed by the audience. A lot of people seemed to have seen the show before (not that I’m judging, clearly) but were laughing CONSTANTLY at everything Adam did. To the point where you couldn’t even hear his lines half the time, and the audience failed to grow appropriately somber in the moments when he falls apart. Not a very courteous audience at all.

But the cast!!!! There were some poignant moments when it really seemed to be their real emotions coming through, bleeding into the way they played certain scenes. During the infamous, always-entertaining exchange in Act 2 while Adam’s sitting on the couch in the robe asking “Who’s the apple and who’s the orange? You never had an apple tart glazed with orange marmalade?” I SWEAR there was a second where that grin was all him, having an absolute ball of a time. When he said “who’s the orange?” he literally kicked his feet up like an overexcited little kid and it was THE. PUREST.

Okay so in the interest of remembering as much as I can, I’ll go in order from the beginning!

First, a bit of textual analysis. Every time I see the play, I’m struck by how incongruous the first twenty minutes seem in comparison to the rest. I know that’s on purpose, because Pale’s entrance is very much supposed to shake up and tear into Anna’s world with pure chaos – turning everything on its head. But knowing everything that’s going to come after, all the lofty discussion in that first scene about myths and epic love tropes all seems terribly self-aware. It’s more than foreshadowing. It literally seems to be a self-narrating framing device for everything that’s about to follow after:

“The wives of the sailors out at sea. The women waiting for years and the men never coming back. What sustains them through loss? Through pain? I think they felt things in a more profound way.”

Robbie is never coming back, and Anna is searching for something inside herself – some feeling – in order to push through this mess of grief and frustration that she can’t make sense of even to herself. She has a shell around herself at the beginning, and nothing to break through it or guide her way; no direction.

“The Flying Dutchman – Senta throwing herself into the sea to save the Dutchman from perdition.” (I mean come on – In this story Senta literally “has this boyfriend hanging around” getting in the way of the epic love and this couldn’t be more meta if it tried.)

Knowing what’s to come, it’s striking that Anna doesn’t seem to realize she is the real subject of conversation here, not Burton’s lofty novel ideas. Even a mere ten minutes after she recounted the funeral where she swore she was expected to “throw herself over the casket” – she doesn’t seem to relate herself to the story about Senta hurling herself into a watery grave because of the love and loss of a man.

In some performances, I think Anna is closed off because she’s purposely trying to avoid such a fate for herself. After losing Robbie, she doesn’t want to “sacrifice herself” through deep connection to another person ever again – Not even to Robbie’s memory as she refuses to give in and confront her grief. And hence her resistance to starting a real relationship with Pale. In other performances, it seems that she’s genuinely blind to the walls she has put up around both herself and her own emotions. You can see the walls in her physical body language – How she always seems to be sitting in defensive, closed-off positions when Burton tries to get near her. (Contrast that with how she literally wraps herself around Pale while he’s crying on that same couch later.)

Anyway, I just find it incredibly cool that what at first seems to be snobby, “arty” (to take Pale’s word) aimless talk at the beginning is actually all the characters indirectly reflecting on everything that’s about to happen to them – to Anna, particularly. This same exact self-examination resumes in the first lines of Act 2, when Anna finishes reading Burton’s draft script.

“It’s so sad.” “I thought they were having fun.” “But beneath it all, they’re so lonely.”

There it is – The deceptively simple three lines that sum up the entire play and spell out the tragic beauty of Pale and Anna’s relationship.

OKAY I’ll stop with the analysis now. On to the details everyone cares about!

So when Adam charged out, holy shit his voice sounded SHOT. It took a good few minutes for his yelling to warm up enough for his voice to stop sounding completely hoarse. It clearly cracked a few times and I just wanted to brew him some tea. (A pot, of course, because a cup wouldn’t even be economical…)

But by around the time he got to my favorite, side-splitting monologue about imagining you’re a tree and you get made into toilet paper or money to get passed around or parchment for a restaurant or music paper for the Boss to write on… but either way you end up drifting down to get stuck in some Saudi Arabian oil tank propellers. (Bending down and spinning his arms like propellers and cue me absolutely falling apart each and every time.) …. His voice finally sounded fine by then! :D

I’ve forgotten to write this in previous posts, but in plays I always LOVE moments when the actors come right to the front of the stage and just stand there for a long moment, wordless and motionless, just staring out into the theatre without really seeing anything, lost in the gravity of their own emotion. Keri has a moment like this before Pale’s entrance (I think when she says, “I thought everything important to the future of dance was going to happen in this room.”) Adam has his moment while Anna is talking about Robbie’s dancing, how good he was and how Pale would have liked it. Adam just stares out into infinity for a long moment, while it demands physical effort from him in order to take in what Anna’s saying. He doesn’t smile while he says, “You saw him and say he was good. I never saw him and I know he was shit.” His long moment of stillness here – finally facing the audience in close proximity and unnerving silence (a striking moment after he spent the last fifteen minutes raging around the stage and often having his back to the audience) is when you can see the very beginning of him unraveling. This is when he starts to plateau – tumbling from his coked-up high into a dark, helpless pit that cleaves him clean through.

After bitching about his pants getting ruined and putting his leg up on the sofa to show Anna, he did the most RIDICULOUS twirl this time! After slowly lifting his leg over the table, never breaking eye contact with her once, he then did this slow, melodramatic twirl - complete with extended ballet fingers and everything. It was nothing short of glorious.

After he kneeled down and screamed, he rose completely shattered. I don’t think I’ve ever heard his voice so devastated with sobs and tears – to the point where you could barely understand him. “No, I don’t do this. This ain’t me” sounded like he was begging desperately, but had no idea what for. There are a lot of stunning things Adam does in this play, but rising and sinking and rising again through these completely polar opposite, all-consuming emotional states within the span of twenty minutes has to be the most incredible. He truly embodies the transformations with his entire body – The way he paces around aggressively then helplessly, the way he spends long, silent minutes simply rubbing at the same place on his chest in pain, the way he doubles over as the brunt of his grief settles upon him like a crushing physical weight. The way he channels his very physicality to embody menacing one moment, then vulnerable and helpless the next. It’s just nothing short of breathtaking and awe-inspiring.

Okay okay, after he drops the hilarious bomb out of nowhere: “You know you got no tits at all.” And when the exchange ends with “It makes a man want to look, see how much there is” – Afterwards he just looks over at her with this hilarious, seedy smirk that was GOLD. Almost like “so is this hapless seduction working????”

Watching the couch kissing scene was, again, like being seduced yourself. He just stares at her for such a long moment before finally leaning in for it. She knows what he’s thinking – she knows what he’s going to do, and she’s completely mesmerized by the intensity of his single-minded focus; even as his hand reaches out for that gentle, tentative brush along her hair. Making sure she really wants this before he slides into it.

And then…. God, the way he delivered the lines that are some of my favorites: “Let’s start the engines real slow here. Go halfway to the city, stop for something to eat. You’ll find there’s times I’m a real good listener.”

jsdfjadlj his voice is so soft and deep, while he’s looking at her so intently, almost communicating the words with his gaze alone. He speaks so slowly and purposefully. The words themselves might be flippant in the double entendre, but there’s a sincerity behind them that wraps itself around your heart completely. You can see it wrap itself around Anna, as she falls into him completely. Every single person in the audience would probably do the exact same.

When he leaves the next morning, it never fails to make the audience crack up how he just waltzes out the door with no great to-do as he calls “Alright people, I’m outta here!”

CLASSIC.

Act 2:

After Burton flips him onto the floor and keeps yelling at him, the way Pale just rolls away onto his side and goes “Good night” all mischievous and cutesy asldfjsadlkfj. And then “Good night, Bruce!” after Burton finally leaves.

Other honorable mentions from this scene:

Pale, from offstage: What the fuck do you know?! Larry: Hmm… what do I know? That’s one of those questions you don’t know whether to answer with hubris or humility.

“Who’s Bruce Lee?!”

After Anna and Larry left the room, Pale’s fighting with his coat was extra aggressive this time. He was basically windmilling his arms as he repeatedly yanked at the back of the jacket until finally flipping it up and off and over his head.

Okay okay so I know I already talked at the beginning about the robe scene but I swear this one was EXTRA delightful. He was just grinning and cheesing all over the place at his own cleverness with the “hat trick” joke. Looking SO pleased with himself and just infuriatingly adorable for a giant brickhouse of a man in a stupid purple kimono I mean wtf!!!!

Oh and right before that! When he brought Anna the cup of tea after sabotaging her phone call with Burton and then hiding his face behind the robe sleeve all coyly, he was extra sweet about it this time :3 After handing her the mug he kissed her twice on the forehead, then just stared for a second at her grumpy face before kissing her on the nose too. (!) Then he proceeds to do the cute thing where he tucks her hair behind her ear while asking, “You want some eggs?”

Even when Anna shuts him down, the way he went over to sit on the couch, picked up his tea, then gave these awkward looks to both Anna and Larry like “welp, guess we’re all sitting together now” was sO funny. How the man can deliver such comedic effect without saying a word is beyond me.

Then, Anna starts to blow up at him. When she delivers the final, most devastating blows of “I have nothing for you. I don’t like you, and I’m frightened of you” – I’ve taken to watching Adam as the blows land. He stands there completely still and his face barely moves, and yet there’s this unmistakable, silent devastation about him. The man’s been called the “King of micro expressions” for a damn good reason. This time, after several long moments of tense, pregnant silence – He just did this minute shake of his head as he looked right at Anna. Even for all her anger, he still doesn’t really believe that she means what she’s saying. But that tiny shake of his head spoke volumes. It was almost disapproving, almost pitying, maybe a touch frustrated. While in previous performances he often seemed to be completely crushed – all spark drained from him; There was this bare, subtle moment of disbelief and lingering defiance. Disbelief that Anna was really deluding herself so thoroughly. He is so sure in this scene – while he’s telling her she’s not really afraid of him, she’s only afraid of caring and feeling something – that she feels the exact same way he does. He’s sure their connection is on equal terms; just like he’s sure it’s the only honest, true thing in either of their lives. And in this performance, rather than being crushed by Anna denying it all, he seemed more upset on her account – That she wasn’t letting her walls down to let the truth in, as he already has.

That^ is Adam Driver’s talent, ladies and gentleman. I literally just wrote a whole paragraph about one barely-perceptible nod. Damn. Okay. Give me a second here to pick up the pieces of my feels.

Okay, so I have detail-level and meta-level thoughts on the final scene from yesterday. Detail-level first: Last night was the only time I’ve ever heard Adam deliver the “That was me and you up there” line softly and earnestly, rather than pitching it into a teasing joke with “me and youuuuu up there.” Instead, he kept the tone of the scene gentle and almost timid. I adore in this scene the way he asks her about her dance piece. How at first, he’s not there for himself or even for the idea of them together. He tells her how much he enjoyed the piece, and when he says that he knew it was Robbie – that he could see Robbie in it – there is no greater or more moving praise Anna could receive. Nothing could mean more to her in this moment.

This scene is so quietly gorgeous, and it was simply spellbinding yesterday in how the tone remained so tender all the way through. Throughout the entire scene, the two of them mirrored each other with absolute perfection. A large part of that is because you can tell these are two actors who’ve been playing off each other for months and developed such keen awareness of each other’s physicality and tiniest displays of body language. Even in the way they stand at opposite sides of the stage at first – It’s like they’re tied together by invisible threads. They face each other directly – neither turned away or trying to hide – and when one moves, the other seems to respond exactly the same way. It continues once they sit down together to burn the note. From the way they sit beside each other to watch it burn, to the way they slowly turn towards each other and draw together, they move in perfect harmony and symmetry. They are tuned into each other simply effortlessly and it’s so satisfying and beautiful to watch.

At a higher scene level: It’s so lovely how different this scene feels in comparison to their explosive earlier scenes. (One with sexual energy and another with an angry fight.) There’s this feeling of undeniable rightness and ahhfinallyrelief when they’re back together for this final scene. And as they talk about Robbie through Anna’s dance piece, everything feels different. It feels peaceful for the first time, even a touch reverent as they speak with a shared understanding of each other’s loss that no one else in the whole world could take part in. While earlier in the play, discussion of their shared feelings of loss led to negative acts of self-destruction, aggressive frustration, or self-denial; this time there is finally the feeling that these two can come together and create something positive out of the loss they’ve shared. Thanks to what Pale unlocked in her, Anna’s feelings of loss that were once so unbearable she could not even face the honest thought of it, now became the fuel for an act of creation she’s been striving for her whole life. And the fact that Pale made time to come see it; the fact that he appears in her apartment and can voice so precisely her same sentiments that went into the piece – It means they’ve finally reached a place together where their connection becomes a source of creation and positive beginnings.

Adam does such beautiful acting in this scene. “I don’t know what to do with myself here. I’m 36. I’ve got a wife, two kids…” He paused here, and when he spoke again his voice quavered with feeling that simply overflowed, “I ain’t never felt anything like this.”

One of my favorite images from the whole play is when they both silently sit together on the couch, watching the note burn away in the ashtray together.

(For the first time, I thought back to Act 1 when Pale cryptically answers Anna’s question about what he does with “I’m a roving fireman. I put out fires. Sometimes… just let it burn.” In this case, perhaps this fiery thing between them would be safer if it were put out. But they watch the flames dance and dwindle together, and the warmth and light slowly growing between them is something neither of them have the will to put out.)

And then, that touching, movingly desperate final moment. After “I don’t want this” / “I don’t want it too” – when Anna sinks into his arms and he hurriedly gathers every bit of her in his lap and in his arms that he can fit. He clutches her like she’s part of his very being, rocks her, and reaches up to smooth her hair back so he can kiss her head. His voice breaks again when he confesses, “I didn’t expect nothing like this.” Another moment of desperately holding each other, until Pale half-sobs in helpless apology, “I’m gonna cry all over your hair.”

Every single time, the way Adam says it delivers a swift, sweet blow straight through the heart. Honestly, I would do anything to relive that wrenching heartache again. <33

It’s been an incredible run. I miss the show already, but I couldn’t be happier with the moving, magnificent nights I spent in the Hudson Theatre. Thank you to Adam and the whole cast for touching so many of us every night with this beautiful play. :’’) It has been such a thrilling, joyful ride!

-Until Adam’s next play!!! :)

[ununniliad]

Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 3 #2: "The TERROR of June 26th, 2019!"

<cover: A fancy hardcover lying on a messy desk, on whose cover is written in gold leaf, "On June Twenty-Sixth, Twenty-Nineteen, the Legion of Net.Heroes will DIE!">

----

It was June 23rd when the evidence was discovered.

The young, academic orc (also known as an orcademic) who worked in the library of LNH Headquarters, whose real name was Fred Gnarshteeth but who had for various reasons which we will not go into here decided to call himself Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II...

...slapped a manila folder on the desk, and put a VHS tape down next to it. Behind said desk stood Fearless Leader, Co-Deputy Leader of the Legion of Net.Heroes. The other Co-Deputy Leaders, Catalyst Lass and Cheesecake-Eater Lad, stood next to him, peering down at the folder. The post-WikiLull Ultimate Ninja leaned against the wall, silently watching the goings-on.

"According to this evidence," said ARAK II, "in three days, the LNH will face a villain more powerful than any we've ever seen before."

"Sounds like every other Tuesday," said Cheesecake-Eater Lad, mindfully keeping things light.

"Where does said evidence come from?" said Fearless Leader, keeping on-point.

"Library Lad was working on going through old LNH records when he disappeared," said ARAK. "Taking things from the archives that are in danger of being forgotten, and putting them in an accessible database in our modern systems. I've been trying to keep it going in his absence."

"Good job!" bubbled Catalyst Lass. "That kind of community-minded spirit is what keeps the LNH the LNH."

ARAK nodded in acknowledgment, letting himself savor a little bubble of warmth in his belly, then continued briskly. "This is a twenty-five-year-old statement taken from an incident type 214."

"Time traveler who has come back on a last desperate mission to change the future," said Fearless Leader.

"Just so," said ARAK. "In this case, the time traveler was Poignant Death Lass."

"Who wouldn't even join the LNH until years later," said Catalyst Lass.

"Right," said ARAK. "The statement was taken by Sig.File Man. PDL, badly wounded but still mostly lucid, described a foe who came out of nowhere; a man filled with enormous cosmic power, burning out his body, and blaming the LNH for everything that had gone wrong with his life. He ripped through all of our strongest hitters, and was in the midst of blowing apart the LNHQ when she was sent back. After handing over the tape, she passed out, and was taken to sickbay, where..." He sighed. "Well, where you can guess what happened." 

Cheesecake-Eater Lad and Catalyst Lass looked up at Fearless Leader, who had been the sole survivor of a very similar attempt at averting worldwide disaster - an attempt that had failed. But he had grown since then, kept moving forward and recovering, and seen this Legion through many more moments of near-destruction. His face was calm, focused. "Right. And the tape?"

ARAK nodded, and signaled. wReamhack wheeled in a metal cart with a VCR and a CRT TV on it. ARAK slid the tape in and pressed play.

   The lawn of the LNHQ, everything quiet and normal. Suddenly, a streak of light flies through the air - and collides with a hastily-activated defense shield.

   Before the shield, a man floats in the sky, his features washed out by a crackling field of energy that surrounds him, bolts of blue, red, purple, white, lashing at the ground, curving off into space,. Where the energies intersect with the shield, it starts fading. "The LNH... you've been hurting me since I was a child... you killed my mother... NO MORE!" He rams his crackling hands against the shield, and it cracks apart! "REVENGE!"

   Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story, one of the LNH's heavy hitters, finally reaches the threat. They grapple, and the energy blasts into the Kid's form. "Nice try, net.asshole," grunts the man, "but you're going down like the Browns." The Kid cries out in agony, and holds on - but his form seems to wither and dwindle, and finally, he falls, a drained shell.

   The shield deactivates, and LNHers spill out of the HQ - whichever random members were in today. They engage, but the man plows thru them. "She was a sweet woman! She never did anything! Do you hate immigrants? Do you hate single mothers!? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU!?" His own form withers as he moves inexorably forward, but he seems no less strong.

   Suddenly, Kid Kirby, the greatest cosmic hero of the Legion, appears, seated behind a huge, complicated-looking cannon. With a great flash of light, it pours a blast of coruscating energy into the man's form... but when the light dies down, the aura of energy is even stronger, occluding the man entirely. A searing blast from the man destroys the cannon, blows Kid Kirby to pieces, and blows a great hole in the side of LNHQ.

   "And now..." The man's voice is thin, halting. "Now..." He walks through the hole, into the heart of the LNHQ. "DIE!"

   From afar, the LNHQ can be seen glowing from within - and then a fireball consumes it - and spreads - and spreads, destroying, consuming the city--

   Nothing is left of Net.ropolis but a crater. The screen goes black.

Catalyst Lass let out a breath she hadn't been aware she'd been holding. Fearless Leader looked less calm, more grim. "That was... thorough."

ARAK tried not too look shaken - come on, he thought, you've watched this already, no surprises here. "Apparently, there was an automatic failsafe that recorded and sent the tape after everything came apart. Complete with the dramatic camera angles."

"I know Multi-Tasking Man has been working on something like that..." said Cheesecake-Eater Lad, his expression pale but determined.

"He's thorough too," said Fearless Leader, leaning back in his seat. "Anal-Retentive Archive Kid, your analysis?"

ARAK tapped his neatly-manicured claws on the desk. "As far as I can tell, this was our Legion, a Legion that had taken on the Bryttle Brothers, the Crossover Queen, the Mechanical Author... and we were defeated by someone we didn't even know about."

"But we should've known about him in this timeline," said Cheesecake-Eater Lad. "Why wasn't this flagged? We've had the next time the Time Crapper shows up scheduled for the last six months."

"It turns out there's a fairly simple answer to that, having to do, again, with time," said ARAK. "The statement was taken on June 26th, 1994. Twenty-five years before the incident, to the day..."

Cheesecake-Eater Lad's eyes went wide. "...and two days before..."

"Retcon Hour," said Catalyst Lass quietly. Her knuckles went white on the edge of the desk.

Retcon Hour, one of the messiest events in the Legion's history, involving multiple time-travelers creating a multitude of alternate timelines, then letting them overlap, overwrite, a million conflicting narratives at war. The LNH had defeated the mastermind behind it all, somehow, and Captain Continuity and the RACCelestial Madonna had put things back as they should have been - but everyone who had been through the final battle held onto strange, fragmented memories of things that had never been.

"After Retcon Hour, no one wanted to even think about changing the future," said Cheesecake-Eater Lad. "They were just happy that the LNH seemed to have a future."

ARAK nodded. "That makes sense. As far as I can tell, this file was put in the archives and left to gather dust. Nobody's thought about it in the last twenty-five years - until today."

"All right," said Fearless Leader, standing up. "We have three days of warning, and we're going to use them. First, we bring in all the forces we can. Every Legionnaire, ready to defend, on the day of the attack. Second, we search for any sign of this guy. He has to be out there somewhere. Maybe we can find a weakness. Maybe we can get to him before whatever triggered this attack happens."

"I'll rally the members!" said Catalyst Lass.

"I'll get our resources on the case," said Cheesecake-Eater Lad.

"Anal-Retentive Archive Kid," said Fearless Leader, "see if you can match the data on this to anything else in the archives. A villain we've fought before, a hero gone rogue, a cosmic confluence that fills random people with powers. Even if it seems like this guy came out of nowhere, he's got to have a past."

"Got it," said ARAK, standing straight and nodding firmly.

Catalyst Lass mm-hemed. Fearless Leader looked at her quizzically... "Oh, yes."

All three of the Co-Deputy Leaders looked to Ultimate Ninja. He stood up, cracked his knuckles, and gave a firm nod.

"Right," said Fearless Leader. "It's time to gather our strength. Legion... let's go!"

----

The call went out. Subgroups were pulled back from missions. Reservists were called to active duty. Characters whose writers had been inactive for years but were still technically on the roster gathered together offscreen.

Contraption Man and Multi-Tasking Man firmed up the LNH's defense grid. Occultism Kid, Shining Tungsten Magister and Kid Occultism Kid wove mystic wards. Johnny Stomper and Very Big Boy trained for combat with giants, while Doctor Stomper and Mashup Laq monitored for incursions from the Picoverse. Foreshadowing Lad reached out for clues and hints, while Kid Recap recalled the past. The leaders drafted plan after plan.

And ARAK dove deep into the archives, looking for the single clue that might save them all...

----

The day came. At the break of dawn, the massed forces of the Legion of Net.Heroes gathered on the lawn of the LNHQ. Scouts spread out through the city. Satellites recorded every spark of net.ahuman power being used, looking for the spark that would turn into a wildfire.

At full readiness, they waited.

...and they waited...

...and they waited.

By mid-morning, Cheesecake-Eater Lad, Frat Boy and Shake-n-Bake Lass were distributing breakfast in shifts, each LNHer on edge, ready to rise from their meal and fight.

By noon, a bunch of blankets had been brought out to spread on the lawn, and the LNHers were sitting to conserve their energy, having little conversations to keep their minds sharp, but still ready for the fight. Lunch was served in picnic baskets, and LNHers snacked on fortifying sandwiches and cheesecakes. Soda, juice, and bottles of water were pulled from a series of coolers and passed around.

By mid-afternoon, there were five games of Magic: The Gathering going on and three D&D campaigns, there was a screen set up showing all seven Vorkosigan Saga movies, and a Lego model of the LNHQ was in progress. Anal-Retentive Archive Kid II leaned against the door to the LNHQ, Catalyst Lass standing next to him and soaking in some sun.

ARAK sighed. "I've been searching for the last three days, and there's nothing. Not just no other appearances of this guy, but no evidence someone like him has ever existed. Like, take a look at this..." He held up a clipboard with the statement on it, and a transcript of the tape. "The guy was talking about how the LNH killed his mom. So I look up bystander fatalities. Not a common thing with us, but it can happen. Then I look up the children, follow up their histories... I found three that had ever shown powers, one of whom lives in Nepal now, one of whom is an investment banker in Cleveland, and one of whom is actually a member of the LNH. And here - it says that he spoke with a midwestern accent, and he was talking about 'the Browns'. So I started checking in the Cleveland area, but there's like a dozen active net.heroes over there and none of them had tangled with any cosmic villains in the last year." He shook his head. "It's all like that. Nothing comes together, there's no person for whom all of this fits." He looked up at Catalyst Lass. "I'm sorry. I lead us on a wild goose chase."

Cat smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. It's better to be proactive and have it turn out to be nothing than to ignore things and have them turn out to be something." She gestured out towards the crowd on the lawn. "Besides, you got everybody together for a picnic!"

"Mmmm... yeah, that's fair." ARAK looked over the gathered crowd, and tried to relax, to take an actual break. If only he could be sure, though...

"Oh, hey, Cat." ARAK looked up. Two men were coming towards them; one was older, and dressed in blues and grays, in that distinctive coordination that told ARAK he was a net.hero in a casual version of his costume; the other, younger, wearing a T-shirt and khaki shorts on the hot June day.

Catalyst Lass squeaked in surprise and delight. "Sig.File Man!" She pushed herself off the wall and wrapped him up in a tight hug, then let go, stepping back, holding him by the shoulders and looking him over. "It's been so long! How've you been? Who's this?"

Sig.File Man laughed good-naturedly. "Pretty good, thanks. And you're right, it's been forever." He gestured to the younger man. "This is my son, Adam. He lives in Net.ropolis. I flew over for a visit, and we heard the LNH was having some kind of shindig, so I decided to stop by."

"Your son?" Catalyst Lass clapped her hands. "I didn't know you had kids!"

Sig.File Man smiled. "Just the one. Remember after I left the LNH, and sent those Christmas cards with that cute girl and the little boy? That was him and his mom."

"Ohhh!" Cat grinned. "He's grown up so big and strong, good job! Does he have powers?"

"Well, yeah..." Sig.File Man leaned in and spoke quietly. "He's not interested in being a net.hero, but I figured you-all might be able to help train him anyway. He's got a kind of phobia of this place, or I would've brought him by years ago." He tilted his head towards Adam. "He's been going to a new therapist lately, and even coming here is a big step up."

"Ohhhh, of course!" trilled Cat. She stepped over to Adam. "Hullo there! I'm Catalyst Lass, Co-Deputy Leader of the Legion of Net.Heroes! Would you like a bit of a tour?"

"Oh, well..." Adam looked down, but then looked back up at Catalyst Lass, and was, like so many, swept up by her honest enthusiasm. "I guess we could."

He followed her into the LNHQ, leaving ARAK and Sig.File Man alone. ARAK looked down at the clipboard in his hand... oh, what an opportunity! "Say, Sig.File-- ah, I guess I should ask your real name."

"Sigmund Ampulle," said the former Sig.File Man, and stuck out his hand.

ARAK smiled. "Fred Gnarshteeth." They shook, and ARAK pointed to the clipboard. "Do you remember taking this statement? For obvious reasons, it's been on my mind today."

"Hmmm..." Sigmund took the clipboard and glanced over the top page. "Oh, yes, this..." He blinked, and leaned in, squinting at the date on top. "...ah. Of course..." He looked up at the gathering of LNHers. "Of course it would be today that we came by..."

ARAK tilted his head. "Er... pardon me?"

Sigmund chuckled. "Sorry, but... let me tell you a story..."

"Back in 1994, I was starting to drift away from the LNH. My old team, the Tantalizing Teens, had broken up a couple years before. Cliche Dude and SideKick Man had joined the Legion alongside me, but Cliche Dude had left for a space mission with Halls Jordan, and SideKick Man had turned out to be an evil robot all along. That stung, of course, and I was left with few close friends in the community. Then an old enemy ran me over with a bulldozer..."

"Eesh," said ARAK.

"Yeah, right? So I wasn't exactly having fun as an LNHer. But I didn't really know where I should go next."

"Then this fell in my lap. I figured, why not stop this before it starts? So I started making plans to go to Cleveland and investigate. Then..." Sigmund sucked in a breath. "Retcon Hour happened. I barely remember the bulk of it; I think at one point I was the leader of an all-singing all-dancing theater troupe version of the Legion?" He chuckled. "But it was big and it was stressful and it was just another indication that maybe this wasn't the kind of life for me. So those plans turned a bit longer-term than they used to be."

"I rented an apartment and tried to track down the 'mom' mentioned - doing some of the fancy detective work I hadn't really done since my Tantalizing Teens days. I found a few different women who fit the clues; but there was only one of them, Sarah Hernandez, who was raising a young son alone, ever since his male genetic donor had walked out on them. I kept an eye on the others, but made friends with Sarah, hoping that I could keep them out of any net.hero-related trouble."

"A young son..." ARAK looked over his shoulder at the LNHQ, then back at Sigmund, eyebrow raised.

"Yep." Sigmund nodded. "Sarah and I ended up falling in love by Christmas. By then, I'd heard about their backstory - how they'd been visiting Net.ropolis during Retcon Hour and been temporarily pulled into an alternate universe where the LNH were all these terrifying evil robots, and Adam had ended up rather traumatized."

"I see..." The pieces fit, indeed, thought ARAK.

"We got married a couple of years later," said Sigmund. "By then, I'd formally retired from the LNH and set up a detective agency. I figured, well, maybe just by coming here I'd prevented a tragedy."

"Only there was a tragedy still on its way. It turned out Sarah had a degenerative neural disease..." He sighed. "With no cure." 

"Oh..."  said ARAK, unsure how to respond. He settled on, "I'm so sorry."

Sigmund shook his head. "Don't worry about it. That was a long time ago, now. And, this time, I was there to support both of them thru it." He looked off into the distance. "It was during the stress of that whole mess that Adam's powers activated. Powers to channel cosmic energy. He was pretty freaked out by them, to be honest - freaked out by anything related to net.heroes - and for a while he thought he'd messed up his mom. The doctors told him he couldn't have, that that wasn't how disorders like this work. But he ended up repressing them pretty hard."

"He's doing better now, though?" said ARAK, encouragingly.

"Yeah. Not city-destroyingly better, thankfully. I guess, in the other timeline, without therapy, without anybody, he just ended up obsessing, and..." Sigmund raised his hands, motioned pushing something away. "Anyway. Yeah. Much better, and has been quite stable for a long time."

"Good," said ARAK, and meant it. "I guess, then, you've saved the city - and I can close this file, which is nearly as relieving."

Sigmund laughed. "Guess so." He handed the clipboard back. "Turns out there's a lot of ways to do this job."

"Yeah. And the people who take care of it before it becomes a problem don't get nearly enough credit for it." ARAK tucked the clipboard under his arm. "Would you like to come down to the archives and help me close this file out? I'd like to give you credit, after all this time."

"Aw. Well, far be it for me to maintain false modesty." Sigmund opened the door of the LNHQ, and ARAK stepped thru.

And the picnic ended up going on past dusk, until the moon rose over the city of Net.ropolis.

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

I don't blame you at all for keeping quiet about the show. I just can't understand how the people running the CW can look at what Dabb is doing to this show and go, "Eh - good enough." It's NOT good enough. It is demonstrably terrible, and at this point I desperately hope there will be a new show runner next season who will reveal the last 2 seasons were all a dream because one of the boys was in a coma. I don't know how else to fix things without acting like the Dabb era just didn't happen.

Not sure my ask went thru… What’s up Girly-girl! Long time no comment, edit, review, rant, observation, bitch session…  we miss you! You still watching? Curious as to what you think about theses past 5 episodes. Looks like Dabb in his ultimate suckitude as a Showrunner has screwed Jensen over again and handed off his DeanMichael storyline to another. Shocker. I’ll be really pissed if he has. And it definitely looks that way.             

Hello dear!

I assume these two might have been written by you? And probably some time ago as well. I’m sorry about replying so late, but tumblr hasn’t really been a prioriy these past months. Thank you for your message though. :) I think tumblr is working perfectly alright without me though, but thank you for being sweet and saying you missed my rambles.

That being said, I don’t think there will be any rambles, specs or metas posted on my page in any foreseeable future - though I could probably just schedule the around 200 meta-, gif- and edit-posts that are still sitting in my drafts, but then again… they have collected some dust by now.

To be completely honest, it’s a combination of things why I have been silent on here. One being that my daily life with work has been pretty demanding and doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of energy after I get home, but it’s also that I simply don’t have as much to say about SPN anymore these days.

I joined fandom in the middle of S7 and my personal highlight times on here has been from S8 to S11 - those were the good old days of meta, really they were golden and I cherish that time dearly still, but fandom has changed since then (and what people deem most important as well), the show has changed and I don’t feel like I am having a place in this fandom any longer. While I also always love editing, my primary focus on tumblr and with my blog has been analysis and meta and I feel like the kind of meta I strived for, loved reading and wrote myself theme wise is no longer of any interest to the majority of people - which doesn’t really bother me, I would continue to post my views regardless, but these past 3 seasons under Dabb’s reign have been hard on me. He turned the show into something I can barely recognize as the show I fell in love with. The storytelling is a mess and so much other stuff as well that I have been very vocal about up until a few months back, but I didn’t want to be just negative any longer so I took a break hoping that maybe SPN would inspire me again to write, but Dabb’s version of SPN is so shallow, so foreseeable from miles away that it has simply not been the case.

To put it plainly, Dabb has made me fall out of love with SPN these past 3 years as he turned it into a show that has nothing in common with the show I love. Of course all of our tastes differ, but my personal favourite seasons past Kripke were the Carver years as he imo knew how to craft story, craft emotion, craft characters and he knew how to play subtle, how to set up a story and follow through, how to make your heart ache in the best way possible. His style of storytelling and showrunning is what I adored and Dabb’s style has hardy anything in common with that so the past three years watching the show, seeing canon thrown out the window, replacing deep emotion with cheap melodrama and stories that built up and had a climax to millions of stories that go nowhere has left their mark on me. It’s been a tough three years, years that were frustrating, yes even painful, it was like a relationship that you always hoped would blossom again but never did. It’s like a relationship that had all the raw potential but ended up hurting you more than it made you happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always love this show and there will never be another show that will have this impact on me and my life and I can guarantee that there will NEVER be a character that will mean as much to me as Dean Winchester, but Dabb era has been painful, because I cared so much about the show. I was mourning it and it’s characters while they were still there on my screen but treated with such careless hands that I needed to take a step back and to be honest, I think it was the right call. For one because no one needs a negative voice all the time, but even more so now that J2M have revealed that S15 will be the last.

I see a lot of people very broken up about it and I’d have been the same way after S8 or 9 or 10 or 11 if it had ended then, right now I feel relief - and I don’t want to hurt anybody with saying that - and strangely enough for the first time in a while interest again (I have been watching the episodes btw, but like I said… nothing that would need to be written about - aside from Jensen rocking it with his Michael struggle, which like you said now has been given to someone else, once more) and a faint bit of hope and even happiness, because this way they should be able to craft an ending that is planned from the get-go. And that is something that could be very good for the storyline - then again, sadly I doubt that someone like Dabb could pull it all together. But here’s to hoping. All I want at this point is for them to make it count, make it worth it - I’d love nothing more than seeing the first episode of S15 and feeling like writing meta again.

So, what does it all add up to? I know this is a long ramble, but I felt it was overdue given my silence on here. I don’t know how often I’ll be on here from now on, I’ll check in here and there, but I doubt I’ll be posting much. To everybody who is hurting due to SPN coming to an end: HUGS. Really selfishly I can say I truly don’t hurt or feel broken up, I feel more like resolution is finally on the horizon and potential for a wonderful ending. And something that I will always be grateful for is the people this show has brought into my life, people who’ll stay in my life way past this show, that’s what makes the show count: just like the character will transcend, keep living, so will these friendships for life and that’s how this show will become “immortal”. Not through the storylines, not through the 15 seasons it aired, it had impact through and due to the people who watched it and who found like minded people through it they can consider close friends and even family now.

Anyway, if I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be to get all of the good writers back on the show for this last hurra, Ben Edlund, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Raelle Tucker, Robbie Thompson and Adam Glass for example and of course Eric Kripke. Let them pen the ending to the show that famously once said “endings are hard, but nothing ever truly ends, does it”. And yes, I still stand by my sceanrio that I have written about many a times before in terms of endings. I’d love it if the ending scene was a shot of the Impala on some stretch of the road (the brothers may have died fighting the good fight or finally retired or whatever else) and some guy who looks to be lost, but a good soul tries the door and it swings open. He sits down, rumages through the car to find the keys and finally looks into the glove compartment where a thick envelope sits that reads:

“For you”

And the guy picks me it up and opens it and inside there’s a leather journal, reminiscent of John’s but not his and a folded piece of paper and the keys to the Impala. And you can see in Dean’s handwriting there’s written:

“May she be as much of a home to you as she was for me and my brother. Treat her well, or I swear I’ll haunt your ass.”

And the guy laughs and turns on the ignition, “Back in Black” starts blasting from the radio so that he turns down the volume and fumbles for the journal, opens it up and looks at the first page that says:

“My name is Dean Winchesters. And then is my story. Buckle up.”

[queen-of-bel]

phew okay this was sitting in my drafts for so long, but an analysis for second best devil survivor boy (tadashi nikaido) 

naoya | atsuro | amane | gin | mari

Tadashi Nikaido is genuinely one of my favorite characters ever, but I see him get reduced to just "tsundere gangster" but he really is a lot more than that.

Let's look at how he was first introduced. If you remember, there was a thug who was harassing an SDF solider to be let out of the lockdown. He's quickly stopped by Kaido who clearly has no desire at all to spar with the SDF. After Atsuro notes that Kaido has a reputation of treating his members well, Kazuya approaches Kaido for help. Kaido doesn't know of any secret exits, and hasn't seen Naoya. Then, Kaido decides to take it a step further, asking the picture of Naoya to be sent over IR so he can show his crew once the cell lines come back on. This wasn't something that Kazuya asked him to do. This was something that Kaido volunteered to do. He didn't have to do this for 3 strangers, but he did anyway.

The next big thing we learn about Kaido is the "bloodless murderer" and its connection to Kaido. In case you need a refresher, one of the victims was Kaido's brother. It's at this point that we start to see a darker side of him. He finally figured out the secret behind the murderer (that it's a demon) and how to avenge his brother (by using the COMPs). He even calls his brother a "wuss", implying that he thinks his brother died because he wasn't strong enough to fight off the assailant.

Alright, let's throw Mari into the picture now. In case you need a second reminder, Mari is childhood friends with Kaido and his brother. Mari and his brother eventually get into a relationship, but Kaido secretly was in love with Mari, too.

The text differs slightly between the original game and Overclocked, but when Kaido and Mari are arguing, Mari beings to either say how Kaido's brother was her lover, or that she blames herself for his death. Either way, Kaido becomes enraged and cuts her off, and even goes so far as to say he wishes he were the one to kill his brother. He then yells at Mari to stay away from the bloodless murderer before storming off.

The glaringly obvious takeaway is that Kaido has serious issues conveying his emotions. No doubt he's jealous that Mari fell for his brother and not him, but he's also having difficulty expressing his grief over his brother, even resorting to saying something like this to cover his grief. Mari realizes this is just a cover, though, and asks Kazuya to forgive Kaido, as Kaido seems so angry at the moment because of his brother's murder.

Now, jump to the battle where Yuzu gets us into that bet with Kaido and Honda. This is where the lockdown begins to break him. After Kaido realizes he can’t win the bet against a bunch of high school kids, he cries out “I wanted to gain power, but I can’t... I can’t protect anything!” His strong will is what summons Pazuzu, who comments on his "bitter cries of despair".

Note that the first reason he states he wants power is to protect something. He doesn't want power for personal gain, or any selfish reasons. He wants the strength to avenge his brother and protect Mari. He doesn't care about crushing everything or taking over the world-- he just wants Mari to he safe.

So whether or not Mari survives the battle with Kudlak is going to really define Kaido's outlook, but before we jump to the fifth day, let's take a look at what happens on day 4.

At Suidobashi, we find Kaido and Honda getting into a fight with a bunch of civilians, with the intent to kill the civilians. After talking to them, though, Honda says that the civilians attacked them first, and Honda and Kaido were merely acting in self-defense. After they leave, Atsuro says if he were in Kaido's place, he would've lost control, too.

Let's now talk a bit about Kaido's role as a gang/thug leader.

Kaido doesn't want to lead the Shibuya Daemons. He explicitly tells Kazuya, "I don't really care... I'm only leadin' these guys 'cause it was my brother's gang." Kaido only views this as a responsibility his brother left for him, but despite the fact that he has a reputation for treating his members well, he couldn't care less about the Daemons.

So, jump back to the battle where Kaido/Honda are fighting the civilians. This is all really important to consider when Kaido calls Kazuya and everyone "justice freaks".

At first, it seems like Kaido is just displaying typical, thuggish, "fuck the cops" kind of behavior. But considering his behavior and what we know about him up until this point in the game, it doesn't really make sense.

Kaido didn't start the Shibuya Daemons, nor does he want to lead them. Kaido broke up a fight between a gang member and an SDF soldier, when he easily could've joined in, or at the very least, ignored it. Knowing all this, Kaido is probably best described as just "transient" as opposed to having any actual convictions. Maybe he doesn't care enough to outright respect the law, but he doesn't seem to have an active interest in breaking the law, either.

So where does the "justice freak" thing come from?

The most likely answer to me is that Kaido is frustrated with the Japanese law enforcement for not making any progress in the bloodless murder cases. He laments several times that it's been so long since his brother was murdered, and they still don't know who did it. One of the instances where this is shown is when Kazuya gives Kaido Mari's bag. Kaido says "I've been waiting for this... It's been seven months now since my brother died... I'm finally gonna nail the bastard that killed my bro and cornered Mari!"

So, Kaido already has lost hope in the justice system, and knowing that it was the government who enacted the lockdown certainly didn't improve his opinion on the government. Also, now that he sees demons, the same creatures that killed his brother, are on the loose, Kaido knows that if he makes one misstep in the lockdown, he'll die. Especially considering that he thinks his brother could've protected himself if he was stronger.

At this moment, laws don't matter to him anymore if they're just going to hinder his survival. Note that Kaido never did anything that didn't have to do with his survival. He never robbed anybody, he never looted any stores, all he wanted to do was get stronger so he could survive and protect Mari.

Okay, so now let's jump into the 5th day mess, where Mari's fate is defined.

Let's start with if Mari dies.

If Kazuya is there for the battle against Kudlak, but didn't give her purse to either her or Kaido, Mari is killed in front of everyone. Kaido absolutely loses it, and afterwards, falls into a state of shock and depression. I'll touch more on this later, but Kaido says "Mari... I let down my bro... And now you too..."

The next time we see Kaido, he's fighting Keisuke, where their morals are clearly clashing over the proper use of power. This bit of dialogue is only triggered if Kazuya witnessed Mari's death, but Kaido does say "without power, you can't protect anything close to you" before continuing the fight with Keisuke.

If Kazuya didn't witness Mari getting killed by Kudlak, he'll get a email from Kaido that night saying that Mari was found dead. His words indicate that he lapsed into a depression from how powerless he felt.

Either way, the takeaway is that if Mari dies, Kaido blames his lack of strength for his failures. This solidifies the thought in his mind that if you want to survive, you have to be strong. After all, if he were stronger, he could've avenged his brother and saved the woman he loved, right?

Okay, let's rewind day 5 and see what happens if Mari survives.

If Mari survives, and Kaido defeated (well, helped to defeat) Kudlak, he credits this to his strength. This is evidenced in his fight with Keisuke if Mari survives, where he says "If you don't want to die, you gotta get strong! The weak have no right to complain!"

Whatever happens with Mari's fate, the events of the fifth day confirm to him that if he wants to survive and protect anyone, he's got to get stronger. He just has to.

It's after the fifth day that he totally snaps.

On the sixth day, he rants to Kazuya how humans are basically rotten and his desire to crush everything. The stress of the lockdown has finally gotten to him. After he sees stuff from the Japanese government abandoning the civilians in the lockdown and their plans to kill everyone, to the civilians in the lockdown losing all sanity, killing others and causing pure chaos in the streets, Kaido has lost all hope in humanity.

He's extremely bitter towards YHVH and the angels who enacted the lockdown in the first place, which is why he teams up with Naoya to make Kazuya the overlord. At this point he's just gone insane, truly believing that he can't survive without power, and after a week of seeing people's ugly side, he detaches himself from humanity, seeing people as only stepping stones to make himself stronger.

I want to stress one more time that Kaido does not typically share these sentiments. Even at the end of the lockdown, he knows deep down that people aren't inherently bad. He knows that people were pushed this far because of the lockdown, just as he was. This is evidenced by his reaction to Keisuke's actions on the sixth day. If Keisuke is alive, he tells them that he forgives Keisuke for what he did. If Kaido killed Keisuke, Kaido will apologize to Atsuro, saying that under different circumstances, he and Keisuke would make great friends. He even takes it a step further, saying that he understands if Atsuro doesn't forgive him, and if it would make Atsuro feel better, he can kill Kaido.

The best example of Kaido's true nature is in Amane's eighth day, where he actually agrees to help the Messiah and protect the barricade from the demon tamers fighting to get out. He says that this is the least he can do, considering how hard Kazuya is working to help people. These actions would make no sense if Kaido was truly as power-hungry as he appears to be on the sixth day. In fact, this solidifies the theory that Kaido just... exists. Just two days prior, he was seething with rage, vowing to crush the SDF and YHVH. And yet, now he's siding with the Japanese government and the Messiah.

Clearly, Kaido is the type of person who just adapts to the situation he's in. He doesn't particularly have any morals, but instead, he just goes with whatever is happening in his environment. This is even implied in the materials guide, where under Kaido's favorite music, it says "club music?" including the question mark. Being a highschool dropout (also stated in the materials guide) and a gang leader, it's no surprise that he frequents clubs, but it's interesting that he has so little convictions that even his taste in music is left to be shaped by his environment.

Honestly, I think it's very possible Kaido has some form of undiagnosed mental disorder, quite possibly borderline personality disorder. Besides his feelings for Mari, he has no real convictions or ambitions in life. He's just aimlessly doing what life handed to him. His brother died? Well, guess he has to take over his gang. Being stuck in the lockdown? Gain more power to help him survive. Messiah is working to save humanity? Time to side with the angels.

Yes, Kaido has his issues, but the reason why we see his nasty side so often is bc of the cruelty of the lockdown and how that honestly made him snap. The game, however, also conveys multiple instances where his true nature is shown. Despite it all, he's very conflicted about the whole situation-- bouncing back and forth between attempting to murder others to listening to his conscience and displaying compassion towards others. At the end of Naoya's no kill route, Kaido states that he's doing this because he wants to stay by Kazuya's side. Metatron even notes that Kaido is doing this out of loyalty to a friend. Granted, Kaido isn't the only person Metatron says this to, but if Kaido really did only choose this path to gain more power, Metatron would've said so.

Kaido lives an aimless and metaphorically nomadic life, at times showing symptoms which hint at depression or an underlying mental illness. What he is not, however, is your typical power hungry SMT chaos rep. He's a far more complex character than that. He allows his convictions to change very suddenly, just to match the environment he's in. Really, he's this tangled mess of emotions that he has never resolved, and as a result, has become an extremely apathetic and aimless person.

[concerningwolves]

On Writing, Planning and Process

The choice of approach to drafting your manuscript is one that can only be made confidently through experience. For those starting out, it can be seriously overwhelming. Write four drafts, says one author; write a plot and then draft, says another. Just plough straight in, call a few more from the back. All in all, a newbie writer would probably wind up approaching their story like this:

At the end of the day, only you can discover your process as you start to write—however, for those starting, here are some places for you to begin. Heck, even if you're an experienced writer, it can be good to remember the basics and how flexible they are!

Hang on Art, what does "the writing process" actually mean?

The process of writing is broken up into lots of stages—you have editing, drafting, revisions, beta-reading rounds... It's a smorgasbord, and an overwhelming one. I attempted to flow-chart it and got pretty flummoxed.

Thing is, there is no set process. The drafts and revisions are mainly intuitive, because you kinda have to do them—it's hard to edit a several hundred page story without doing that. My approach is more chaotic than this one, but I still get books written because it works for me.

Some of the possible approaches to drafting are:

Plot first – make a plot, outlines, chronology—the works. Doing this first means you could then plunge straight into draft one, if you wanted to.

Draft zero – this is the stuff you have at first, before any real plot or concrete concepts. It's worldbuilding, character development, moodboards... All the fun bits. Some people merge this with draft 0.5, and others skip it altogether. Sometimes it involves plotting, sometimes not.

It's really just the pre-story phase of spitballing, caffeine and stress.

Draft 0.5 – this is my preferred starting point, but it isn't for everyone. It's a manuscript, and it's got scenes in some kind of chronology, but it's also awful and impossible for anyone to read. Scenes are in the wrong places, features keep on appearing and disappearing, and entire characters are missing. The point is to get something on a page, and see where it goes. My own draft 0.5 for of Seas and Stars got re-started no less than fifteen times, each one vastly different from the last until I came to what I have now, which I am halfway through.

Plotting interval – for some, the plot comes first. For others, you figure out a basic one partway through draft 0.5 and run with it, making alterations along the way, or you sort it out later once draft 0.5 is done. If your plot is character driven, you may want to really get to know your characters all the way up to the first draft, and then make your plot while doing the second draft. If your plot is story-driven, you might make an outline as the very first thing you do.

Stephen King used the beautiful metaphor of finding a plot being like delecately excavating a large fossil, and while I think that metaphor is exactly what the writing process is like, there would also need to be some sort of plan in place before the excavation began. That is to say, although he intended the metaphor as a warning against plotting beforehand, it could be interpreted differently and still be very valid advice.

Rinse, Repeat - draft one acts as a stable(ish) base. From there onwards, you can break and rebuild as much as you like; the important thing is that you know what the fossil is, even if all of the bones are in the wrong place and need extensive repairs. 

Once you’ve got the fossil manucript in a readable format, with the events as you want them, characters where they should be and the world established, you should start to consider beta-reading. It isn’t the end of the writing process, but it certainly helps you to get there. Your fossil has been assembled and the missing chunks filled in; all that is left now is to send off to the science guys who do their analysis so you can ready the fossil for museum display!

(Art, that’s enough about the fossil. Just talk about beta-reading already)

Your beta-readers act as a proto-audience, of sorts; except, they actually give you their feedback and are usually pretty harsh, rather than chatting about your writing at a book club where you will never hear the comments. 10-20 tends to be the range of beta-readers used. I like to aim for fifteen, max, but I have seen calls out in the past for 25.

Their input is so very, very valuable, even though it can be hard not to take it personally. I talked about my own discoveries about the beta process and how to survive it recently, here. Deciding when to put out the call for beta readers depends on how you feel, and whether or not you think it will help your story at the stage it is in. Working on my short story, The Circularity of Devolution, I found it helpful to share the story in its second draft and use the beta-reader’s comments as notes when revising and redrafting. However, I know that of Seas and Stars will still be unreadable by the second draft, and so won’t want beta readers for that.

Full disclosure: although an experienced writer, I only had my first taste of beta readers recently, and so although I can say a lot about how I personally found it, I’m not much good at providing a more objective view. But you know who can? @brynwrites. They have this ask here summarising a few pointers, and then this FAQ on beta-readers. There’s more if you browse for it, but these are the key things you might need to know.

But do you need to do all of this in one go?

No, not at all. Again, it’s completely up to you, although I wouldn’t reccomend doing that for a few reasons:

You could burn out and kill a great story

Breaks help you gain perspective

You have a life outside of writing, and you need to be there for that too

writing is mentally, physically and emotionally demanding

working on one thing continuously could kill inspiration

As Bryn says, beta-reading rounds are great times to take a break and work on something else. I intend to use mine to type up a fanfic I’m handwriting. As well as talking about manuscripts being like fossils, Stephen King also says how he likes to leave his novels for at least a month before going into the final draft. He uses that time to write novellas. It can be tempting to forgo breaks and run with your inspiration until you’re completely frazzled, but that won’t get you anywhere in the long run. Take care of the author, and then you can take care of the story!

After all this, what next?

If you’re going for publishing, there are lots of ways to do that. Supposing that you don’t self-publish, you may get an agent, which could lead you to editors, and eventually a published work. Sometimes, you can sit back and just allow your book to inch towards publication, all of your work done. Oftentimes, you might get rejected and sent a slip saying “Great story! But X, Y and Z need tweaking in order for it to be sellable”. You would then need to judge that advice, mix in a tiny bit of salt, and dive into another revision before you try again.

All it takes to find out more about publication options in a quick Google and a scour through the top articles. Listen to what published authors say, and do a lot of research for yourself. Check writing forums and magazines for agents, making sure that your writing and their preferrences are compatible. Make a pros and cons chart of Self-Publishing vs not self publishing.

It’s really important to have all of your options on the table before you make your choice.

This has been a part of my “On writing” advice series, which is updated a few times a month and covers topics from writing genius characters to representing certain groups, elements of the craft, genres and everything in between. Check out The Art Forecast to see what’s coming up for March.

If you have any questions in the meanttime, send in an ask (I’m thrilled to have re-opened my inbox!), and best of luck to you all in your writing and your life x

[iluvtv]

Thank you, it’s my attitude that keeps me young...

Processing Russian Doll has not been easy. It took a week and a full rewatch for me to even begin to touch this beautiful program’s intricacies through type. The iterations and research I prepared for this post have been almost as vast and extensive as the show itself.  Nearly a month later I decided to save the diatribes for casual conversation. Theories on how the show is a study of the Jewish allegory of Dybbuk or that the loss of characters throughout each life is mirroring the constant death of video game culture can surely be found elsewhere. Instead, I share a version of the draft I started jotting during my rewatch of this beautifully complicated story while sitting on the couch next to my own Mother, both of us quietly reckoning with the histories which brought us to that shared moment. 

Writing, like experience, is a process. For many, this show has brought on personal reflections of their own existential crisis. Presently, a communal and varied reception is floating through our technological ether, acting as intellectual interpretations of such.

And so, in an unusual act of rebellion, I will let my work here act as nothing more than an experiment in my strange and frequently limited relationship with emotions. An armored sort of void that is not without its own challenges.

Like Nadia I sometimes might be written off as the abyss.

And yet neither of us are enthusiastic about or entirely unharmed by such descriptions.

I have no illusions of blowing any minds here with an overtly innovative (though so often it feels that way to me) analysis of Russian Doll, and if you want to avoid spoilers perhaps just stop now (though nothing I say here would ruin your own experience with the show). However, if you want to go exploring through some proverbial baggage with me — I have just too many thoughts, tangents and feels not to write anything at all...

But first:

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

I am at once moved, inspired, shaken and totally stunted. The vast creativity in writing and performance and imagery and music within these eight 24-minute episodes could debilitate many an artist. It's so easy here to rationalize giving up. There is no way I could ever create something as powerfully moving and detailed as Russian Doll.

This speaks to the intense fragility (so rarely acknowledged) which Headland, Lyonne and Poehler’s creation has provoked within.

This show, like it’s namesake which holds infinite women inside one another, is an onion. It can be peeled endlessly away— there is no core. The similes housed are so nuanced that solving them all would be a luxurious and laborious service. An intellectual’s ideal wank. Something future generations may hang their Philosophy dissertations on; much like the very pretentious characters which this show so cleverly mocks.

How very unusual, a narrative with notably distinct translations identifiable to everyone from the now aging homeless advocate of New York City in the 90’s to the Jewish millennial living in San Francisco currently participating in gentrification, to the middle-aged dad who never quite got over his suicidal tendencies, to the gamers and engineers entirely distracted with code. It is a glorious conglomeration of our own narcissism and the show’s creative genius which will allow us all to see ourselves here.

Twitter threads and articles debating such translations could distract our own heart for hours. In the end, though it is compassion which will leave room for growth and learning. In time we will not just slice the orange in half and find the ripeness in the fourth dimension but we will also discover another layer, or perhaps metaphors even the creators missed.

In part isn’t this some of the beauty of an increased number of minorities (ahem women) making art reaching the mainstream? The long-whispered narratives of silenced humans have become far more infinite and intricate than the stories we have heard before.

One might argue that the very notion that Nadia’s misfortune is provoked because she is “bad” defies a complex yet deeply scientific female perspective. It seems rational that a writer's room compiled exclusively of women would have enough experience in niceties to understand that no experience or person is entirely one thing. It is empathy whicxh allows us to view the sum of one’s parts. It is humanity which allows us all to persevere, coexist and most importantly notice that others are just doing the same.

And so there are moments in Russian Doll which speak to me so precisely.

The show’s playful exploration into Jewish Mysticism, which I once studied so diligently.

Nadia’s food choices, which I consistently noted before the subtle stitch of their relevance became obvious threads of the tapestry of her stories. The cottage cheese and roast chicken which is so spot on and terribly, neurotically Jewish. The fact that I noted her breakfast of cut watermelon in episode two as though it were a plot point -- which it did eventually become. My takeaways here so painfully reflect my own layered and tumultuous relationship with my body and moreover nourishment.

Nadia’s penchant for drugs and the ability to maintain her relationship to artificial mood enhancements. Through my lens of a similarly uncomplicated love affair with inebriation, I can’t help but find this characteristic terribly charming.

And oddly enough, Nadia’s clear choice of Emily over Anne. This one is tricky as I have zero memory of reading Emily of New Moon and yet I clearly remember loving it while Anne of Green Gables bored me. I know this sounds contrived but my mother concurred: I was a girl who loved Emily; couldn’t be bothered with Anne.

Then there are the less overt parts of Nadia. The painful side effects of what can be more easily spelled out. These are the elements of self I skip over (as did Nadia presumably) the histories of abuse and dysfunction, the draw towards said abyss and the imaginary, the solitude. Here we have a vibrant woman, unabashedly possessing an immodest thirst for life — an extrovert essentially, who somehow manages to remain on the peripheries. Again, this would be a perfectly apt way to describe me. Through silly, fun, terrifying, real and completely magical events however, Nadia is forced to reckon with both her past (and future) and come to terms with relativity.

I mean life is relative, right?

Watching all this forced a reckoning of my own.

People fade, plants and animals die, fruit rots and all the while Nadia battles with the existentialism turning 36 inevitably breeds.

(Speaking of invoked narcissisms I have for years threatened to throw myself an “I still haven’t gotten married or had kids so you never had to go to a bunch of bullshit showers but I’m going to have a huge double chai blowout” of my own. As the time approaches (14 months) this seems increasingly unlikely but the relevance of this age was definitely not lost on me).

Through all this sadness it is the small acts of kindness which somehow makes everything all right again and again. Very subtle pieces of humanity perpetuate life.

Relatively speaking.

Compassionate and honest interaction essentially induces a continued existence.

Alan says, “Our bodies can’t keep lying the way that our minds can”

And when Ruth mentions she heard the author of Emily of New Moon is haunting a house rather than the more familiar trope of Lucy Maud Montogomery’s suicide this makes me think the show is so much more about how you survive and persevere than how you fade.

As I slowly worked through these episodes (the first time) I wished hard that this show would offer hope and eventually it did just that.

But boy did it put me through the wringer through the process.

[nerbert]

This is like, months late I’m sorry please forgive me

This was a questions tag thing that went around like a month ago, and it’s been sitting in my drafts waiting for me to finish it

I forget the rules, and I think everyone has answered these already, so I’m not going to bother tagging more peoples, but if you haven’t done this yet, and want to, answer any 11 of these questions!

3 people tagged me, so this is long

@thecrazyexfangirl tagged me for these:

1. What are you studying or what is your profession? 

I’m studying economics! I’ll graduate with an honours undergrad degree next year, and then I want to complete a masters in economics, a masters in public policy, and a phD in economics, then spend my career writing macroeconomic policy for governments. Basically I want to run the world 

2. I read a lot of opinion about FMAB and FMA03 Mustang, but what is your opinion about FMAB and FMA03 Edward?

I have opinions, and I am going to start on that essay post soon! 

3. Where are you from? 

I grew up in Victoria BC 

4. What is your favourite film/book and why? 

Across the universe is my favourite movie, because I love Beatles music, and I think the movie is just so well done. and Harry Potter is my favourite book, because, well, why does anyone like Harry Potter? It’s the first book I read all the way through, because it came out when I was a smol, the first book that had enough diverse characters that I could identify with, and rereading it it’s feels like catching up with an old friend❤ 

5. If you get a role in the FMA live action, which role would you play? 

I would love to play Major General Olivier Mira Armstrong, but I think honestly, I would want more of like an extra role, because I’d be too busy fangirling to actually act, plus, acting isn’t really my thing 

 6. FMA03, FMAB or FMA manga? 

Good golly, that’s tough. I haven’t read the manga yet, I have a processing disorder that makes it hard to read black and white manga. Between 03 and brohood, brohood is definitely a better series, but 03 is important to watch. I really love Ed’s character development in 03, and I LOVE satan Tucker’s fate. Death is too merciful for him, I love that he sufffeeeerrrrrrrrrsssssss 

7. If you get an opportunity to meet with an author who would you choose? 

I think Arakawa would be a really cool person to meet. From the little that I’ve read/heard about her, I feel like we’d get along 

 8. Which fictional character would be your best friend? 

I think Mai from atla would be my saltmate for sure 

9. Favourite fandom? 

Definitely fma 

10. When did you join to the tumblr community? 

I think I made a tumblr in like 2012, but didn’t really get into it, then after watching fma, I started looking at fanart, and found royai fanfics that soothed my soul, and then I started using Tumblr, so mid 2016. 

11. Do you make fanarts, fanfictions, amv etc.?

I wish. I am an artist, but I paint impressionist landscapes, so fanart isn’t really my domain. And I’ve never really been a writer.

@queenxolivier tagged me in these:

How did you get into fandom? What was your catalyst to finding the tumblr community?

This was kind of answered with when did I join Tumblr. But I got into fma after my brother nagged me to watch it. I got into fandom back in the days of My Immortal and the Harry Potter fandom, but I didn’t have a tumblr back then, so it was more looking at hp fanart on deviantart and MySpace, and googling fanfics, but I was never part of a fandom community until I found fma

What’s your favourite part about your favourite fandom?

I love that the fma fandom is still thriving, like, brohood ended 6 years ago, and people are still joining the fandom, making new art and fics, it’s awesome!

If you could spend the day with any fictional character, who would it be and why?

I’d love to spend a day with Katara, she’s so incredible, and I think I could learn a lot from her, like just how to be a better person in general

What fictional character has had the biggest impact on your life or has inspired you the most?

Hermione was the first character to have an impact on me. And it was because I have gigantic teeth just like her. Seriously, my front teeth are like twice the size of my husbands, and I’ve had these teeth since I was a tiny 8 year old. So I latched onto her character, and started to find more similarities between me and her, and she taught me it’s ok to be smart and a girl

Talk about your favourite book (I KNOW IT’S HARD but if you had to pick one).

Lol hp fo sho. It's just so perfect, like even now, there's still more I'm learning about the Harry Potter universe, and so many more headcanons I can get behind...and more reasons to hate Snape 

Do you have any accomplishments or anything in your life you feel the most proud of?

Ha, way too many. I have a super interesting back story, but that will take to much to talk about here

Tell us about a project you have going on! Or if you don’t have one, maybe something you’ve always wanted to write or draw?

Right now I’m doing an econometric analysis on whether minimum wage increases have impacted the CPI in British Columbia for the last 30 years, and I’m also writing about how Canada’s economy wouldn’t have developed without the help of the Indigenous Peoples

How do you feel about AU’s?

Meh. I like the funny au headcanons, like the one @izumiicurtis proposed, where everyone wears period clothing, except ed still looks like he robbed hot topic in the dark (that is the best joke in the fandom I swear) but I never really got into au's

Do you have any favourite composers or soundtracks?

I really love the Rent soundtrack 

In your opinion, what is the best Disney movie to come out since Disney’s Golden Age?

Wreck it Ralph

Fangirl about something, really go wild.

Major. General. Olivier. Mira. Armstrong. that woman is a goddess and could kill me and I’d be ok with it. She’s so powerful and doesn’t take any crap and she’s so smart and always plans ten steps ahead of everyone and she’s not afraid to admit she doesn’t know everything and she loves her brother so much and does so much to protect her family plus she’s absolutely beautiful like her hair is made of silk I swear and the way she fights with a sword instead of guns I just love swords

@haganenobeato tagged me in these

1. Would you wanted Solf J. Kimblee perish a deserving death on that train? Yes or yes? 

Yes. He should have died RIGHT THERE 

2. Is there fanart or fanfiction you feel needs to be made but doesn’t exist yet or w/e? FMA or otherwise? 

There should be more RizBecca (Riza and Rebecca) fics/ art, and more Marier (Maria Ross and Olivier Mira Armstrong) fics/art. Just more wlw content in general in the fma fandom 

3. What do you think Hayate’s Cream Shiba’s name is? 

well, I think that dog must be Roy’s, and Roy is a nerd, so he probably named her similarly to how Riza named Black Hayate

4. Knowing the FMA baddies masterplan, what would you have tried to do to stop Father? 

lol I’m 5 feet tall and I’ve never been in a fight in my life, If I tried to stop them, I’d somehow trip and accidentally press the big red button that sets the plan in motion (oh there’s no big red button that does that? surprise, when I’m around, there’s suddenly a big red button that does The Bad Thing(tm) )

 5. Which is your favorite AU? 

Idk, I’m not really into AU’s

6. What fictional character would you have a comfortable silence with? 

Riza. I feel like she’s the type who doesn’t do small talk, but when she gets to know you she starts like, making puns and when she has a topic to talk about, she really gets into it. And she doesn’t seem like the type to be awkward with silence

7. Which fictional character would you introduce to your family? 

Riza. I think she’d have a lot of fun with my family, and I think my family would like her. I would say Olivier, but she doesn’t seem like the ‘meet the parents’ type of person to me

8. Which fictional character deserved better? 

Katara in legend of korra, they really did a horrible job with her character 

9. Which FMA character (assuming they don’t know alchemy, even if they do in canon) would you rather be stuck on an island with? 

OLIVIER MIRA ARMSTRONG 

10. What scene brings a smile to your face each time? 

the EdWin proposal, it’s just so cute, and so awkward, and so appropriate for how Ed/Winry propose to each other

11. FLAIL AND CAPS LOCK SOMETHING, ANYTHING

IDK WHAT TO CAPS LOCK ABOUT. NOW I’M THINKING OF EDWIN SO MAYBE I’LL FANGIRL ABOUT THAT. THEY’RE JUST SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER AND THEY’RE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS AND ARAKAWA WROTE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO WELL AND IT’S SO SUBTLE AND BUILDS OVER TIME AND THEY’RE SUCH A SUNSHINEY COUPLE AND THEY HAVE SUCH A CUTE LITTLE FAMILY AND I LOVE MY BABIES

if you read this all, you’re my new best friend

[theonyxpath]

That photo looks like V5 Philly By Night‘s cover!

(Not an actual book we’re working on).

But it was my view in Philly during this last weekend at PAX Unplugged. Which was fantastic for us, so let me get right to the highlights!

First, there was the convention itself. We went in with a strategy of a non-sales booth, with double demo tables in the booth and more demo tables in the gaming area. Our primary goal was to hand out our new brochures and to talk with as many people as possible. Towards that end, Mighty Matt brought a fine selection of display products, including working texts from several books not yet on sale (or Kickstarted):

And no, we were not selling V5 Chicago By Night at the con, which unfortunately disappointed a few fans. First it needs to get to KS backers (soon), and then into game stores and other sales venues. But, as we had intended, we did give folks a chance to buy our stuff – right across the aisle at the Studio2 booth! Here’s a pic with Jim from Studio2 and our books on prominent display:

That was from set-up day, so you can’t see our new Onyx Path official shirts, and I wasn’t wearing by silver bell yet, but once the attendees rolled in, the system of us sending folks over to buy the books we just talked up, and them sending folks over to us for demos and info (or to get Eddy or Neall’s autographs), worked out better than we had hoped.

And here’s the booth itself on set-up day. It would soon be filled with people talking and demo-ing:

Ah yes, the people. So many the people. We had demos running at at least one table and usually two, all through the con. Dynamic Dixie, Crystal, and LisaT were our ambassadors of goodwill and directed folks to the downstairs gaming area, or next door to buy books, or over to Mighty Matt or myself if they wanted more in-depth answers or to talk business – all the while handing out a phenomenal amount of brochures.

Eddy, Neall, Meghan, Travis, Danielle, and Crystal (again, boy was she busy), all demoed games in the booth and downstairs – a wide cross-section of our publishing, from Chicago By Night to Scion to Pugmire to Scarred Lands to Changeling: The Lost to TC: Aeon (more on that later)!

Here’s a Pugmire game being run by the one and only Eddy Webb:

There was a lot of laughter, some gasps, and a lot of folks who popped over to the Studio2 booth to see what of ours was for sale. That flow from our booth to the demos to Studio2 was what we were looking for, so our booth/demo crew hit it out of the ballpark!

And when I mentioned people, I also meant that we talked to a ton of podcasters and actual play folks, printers and shippers, and our cohorts from around the industry. At least three of us were losing our voices by the end of the con. I did a look back at art directing the original Mage: The Ascension book interview, which I’ll be sharing the link for soon – but let’s just say that our discussion went far deeper into how art direction works in general than I’d have expected.

A real thrill for me was meeting the Devil’s Luck crew (literally) in their Scarred Lands characters’ costumes – especially since the Slitherin rat-men were one of my contributions to the Creature Collection back in the day:

A mighty Manticora!

Squeak, squeak!

If you get a chance to watch, well, really any of their actual plays – not just Scarred Lands – you too will be impressed with their dedication to character and great gaming.

So here are some specific news items from PAXu:

PAXu was the first place you could buy the Trinity Continuum Core and TC: Aeon traditionally printed books, and boy did they go over big! Right now, we are sold out of their respective Screens, so we’re looking into what to do about that! You can ask your FLGS to order both books from their distributor or have them reach out to Studio2 or IPR (below in the sales section of the blog).

Our old friend Ivan van Norman and Hunters Entertainment through Renegade Game Studios announced that they are heading up the creation of Werewolf: The Apocalypse 5th Edition! Congrats to Ivan and the whole team!

We released our new brochure for 2020, although the year really doesn’t mean anything except that we can find it in sequential order with all our other ones. The year isn’t associated with any expected releases. I’ve seen some folks ask why this project or that project isn’t in there, and the reason is simple.

This brochure is designed to showcase the various worlds that we are making projects for; to give a taste and info about those game-lines, and not really to provide a listing of everything we have done, are doing, or will do. We picked a few key projects to mention to show some of the range or depth of a line.

Chicago Folio art by Michael Gaydos

And, of course, we followed through with announcing a new project at PAXu that was hitherto unannounced, with a blurb in the brochure and press releases the same day as the brochure went public. That project is Exalted Essence!

Of course, we’ve only teased what’s in this book, because this is just the first announcement, but here are a few clarifications from the team on a few things that people have some questions about:

A lot of people have been speculating on the system, so we can definitely confirm it’s still a version of the Storyteller System and not Storypath or something else.

Castes/Aspects, etc. will still come into play, but as variations on the main Exalt types.

The 10 Exalt types included will be Solars, Lunars, Dragon-Blooded, Exigents, Sidereals, Getimians, Liminals, Abyssals, Alchemicals, and Infernals.

There will be some setting information in Essence, enough to run games set across Creation, though players and Storytellers can certainly supplement setting information and history with any of the current and forthcoming Exalted 3e books.

Players and Storytellers won’t need to be familiar with any other Exalted books or editions to run a game of Exalted Essence.

Our main goal regarding Exalted Essence is to capture the feel of Exalted: the vast, epic-fantasy game that has captured imaginations for almost two decades.

Now, I’d also like to step back a bit and go into our impetus for creating a “lighter” version of Exalted 3rd.

Obviously, Exalted 3rd Edition is a huge book. It has a lot of pages, it’s heavy, and inside, it covers a ton of material with a gigantic Charms chapter, and then several more chapters for other powers. (Obviously, this is a titanic simplification of EX3, but I’m not going into an analysis of everything in there, this is already a long blog post).

What I’m saying is that EX3 is daunting just to look at when you sit down to play. If you hear about it, and want to get it, it costs a lot to buy, it costs a lot to ship, and the page count pushes the limits of book binding technology. Then we look past that, and the material within is also daunting, even to experienced Exalted players.

VtR2 Spilled Blood art by Andrea Payne

So years ago, we began to discuss how to make EX3 less daunting. To start with, despite all that I’ve laid out above, there are a lot of people happy with EX3 exactly (or at least close to exactly) as it is. A lot. So our purpose shouldn’t be to wreck what people do like – we want to make it easier for people to continue to enjoy Exalted as well as to get into it for the first time.

But a Jumpstart alone isn’t going to do it. It’ll get you started but ultimately the only way to keep going is going to require you braving that giant scary book. We realized that we need a simplified version of EX3 that didn’t supersede it, but simplified it while allowing the line to be there if you wanted to get into those more detailed systems and descriptions.

OK, but now it falls on us as publishers to figure out how to make that happen. And EX3 is not just daunting for players, it’s just as daunting to game designers. I’ve said it before, so it’s good to repeat here: Exalted is like a giant steam-punk machine; an intricate interconnected series of gears. And if you mess around with one game system gear in one section, you run the risk of completely screwing up a system or detail on the other side of the machine that is interconnected to a dozen gears of its own.

So we just can’t plop a developer who doesn’t understand Exalted into a chair and they start making Exalted books. We were phenomenally lucky that we could bring on Robert Vance and Eric Minton as developers, and even with their previous Exalted experience there was still a decent ramp-up time. But then, when they were rolling along on all cylinders, they were faced with creating books that were already on the schedule and had been announced, that built off of the EX3 core.

We either had to pull them from that continuation of a very healthy and enjoyed game line in order to develop the EX3 simplified book, and leave a lot of fans in the lurch, or find and train more EX3 devs to create the simpler version even though that would make it even longer before it could come out.

Obviously, ultimately, that’s what we did.

We will certainly have more to say about Exalted Essence in the weeks and months to come. Keep an eye on the project progress info below, and once writing begins you’ll see it pop up in the First Drafts section and then move through all the steps.

Like all of our:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

Kickstarter!

Next Kickstarter: V5 Cults of the Blood Gods!

Onyx Path Media!

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast recaps PAX Unplugged! Available on Podbean or on your favorite podcast venue!

Once again our Twitch schedule is jam-packed with games! We’ve got Vampire: The Masquerade, Pugmire, Scarred Lands, Aberrant, Changeling: The Lost, Hunter: The Vigil, Changeling: The Dreaming, Mage: The Awakening, Trinity Continuum, and even more! If you’ve ever wanted to know how our games are played, check out our Twitch channel on twitch.tv/theonyxpath

Likewise, our YouTube channel is filling up with content, including Aberrant: Community Service, Changeling: The Lost – Littlebrook Reunion, and Pugmire: Paws & Claws! There’s a ton of content over there to wade through, as well as a recently dropped Onyx Path News! Subscribe to us on youtube.com/user/theonyxpath

I want to give a special profile to Aberrant: Community Service, as this superb actual play really gets into what’s great about Aberrant. For your ease, here’s the playlist of episodes on YouTube so far: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiNRTdSDh6-XTtU1yRfowy7njFNps7qEN

Matthew Dawkins continues his Gentleman’s Guide to Scion over on the Gentleman Gamer YouTube channel. He’s covered an introduction to The World setting and to the Storypath System so far. Videos can be found right here: youtube.com/user/clackclickbang

The fantastic folks at Red Moon Roleplaying have been working with us overtime on producing actual plays of Mummy: The Curse, Changeling: The Lost and Vampire: The Masquerade with Matthew Dawkins, Klara Herbol, John Burke, and Bianca Savazzi. You can find their excellent shows right here:  Vampire: The Masquerade: https://youtu.be/IRNubrPeIKk Mummy: The Curse: https://youtu.be/jyZYG-WadpU Changeling: The Lost: https://youtu.be/Y90EFR8FlR0

Did you know you can pick up the mobile version of the Pugmire RPG for free? Find out about the mobile version right here: https://youtu.be/6TkWfDecVp8

Have you been watching Ekorren‘s Exalted roleplaying journal? If not, you really should, because he makes a fantastic series of videos: https://youtu.be/6OM9lwzzOEQ

And finally, it’s been a while since we last promoted the fine folks at Devil’s Luck Gaming, and their superb actual plays. If you love watching people play RPGs, you’ll really enjoy their games: twitch.tv/devilsluckgaming/

Drop Matthew a message via the contact button on matthewdawkins.com if you have actual plays, reviews, or game overviews you want us to profile on the blog!

Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!

Electronic Gaming!

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)

On Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these latest fiction books:

Our Sales Partners!

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire

We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost

Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands

Scion 2e books and other products are available now at Studio2: https://studio2publishing.com/blogs/new-releases/scion-second-edition-book-one-origin-now-available-at-your-local-retailer-or-online

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

And you can order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link! And NOW Scion Origin and Scion Hero are available to order!

As always, you can find Onyx Path’s titles at DriveThruRPG.com!

On Sale This Week!

This Wednesday, we are proud to announce the PDF and physical book PoD versions of In Media Res for the Trinity Continuum Core Rulebook, a collection of pre-constructed stories featuring the hypercompetent Talents including:

Codename: Aquarius, a spy story of questionable loyalties in a wilderness of mirrors.

Caper, Incorporated, a reality-bending super-science heist for the fate of the world.

Classified: Help Wanted, a deadly game of cat-and-mouse in a single locked-in skyscraper.

And more…

Plus we’re also releasing the Trinity Continuum Core Screen in PDF – all on DriveThruRPG

Conventions!

2020: Midwinter: January 9th – 12th, in Milwaukee, WI. Check out David Fuller’s Athens, Ohio Scion actual play tie-in adventure (soon to be coming to the Storypath Nexus community content site) that will be running at Midwinter. The event url is below: https://tabletop.events/conventions/midwinter-gaming-convention-2020/schedule/402

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

N!ternational Wrestling Entertainment (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Creating in the Realms of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Contagion Chronicle Ready-Made Characters (Chronicles of Darkness)

Trinity Continuum: Adventure! core (Trinity Continuum: Adventure!)

Duke Rollo fiction (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Redlines

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Second Draft

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Contagion Chronicle: Global Outbreaks (Chronicles of Darkness)

Player’s Guide to the Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Contagion Chronicle Jumpstart (Chronicles of Darkness)

Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Development

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

TC: Aberrant Reference Screen (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)

Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)

Lunars Novella (Rosenberg) (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)

Manuscript Approval

Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)

Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)

Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)

Post-Approval Development

Scion LARP Rules (Scion)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Editing

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)

Let the Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Geist 2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Mythical Denizens (Creatures of the World Bestiary) (Scion 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire KS-Added Adventure (Realms of Pugmire)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad (Scarred Lands)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)

Post-Editing Development

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

TC: Aeon Ready-Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

W20 Shattered Dreams Gift Cards (Werewolf: The Apocalypse 20th)

TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Vigil Watch (Scarred Lands)

Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Indexing

ART DIRECTION FROM MIKE CHANEY!

In Art Direction

Contagion Chronicle

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant

Hunter: The Vigil 2e

Ex3 Lunars

TCfBtS!: Heroic Land Dwellers

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed – Sending out art notes and contracts.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff

Cults of the Blood God (KS) – Art all seems ready.

Mummy 2 (KS)

City of the Towered Tombs

Let the Streets Run Red – Sending out art notes and contracts.

CtL Oak Ash and Thorn – Awaiting artnotes.

Scion Mythical Denizens – Going over sketches.

Deviant

Yugman’s Guide to Ghelspad – Sending out art notes and contracts. Still looking for a couple of artists.

Vigil Watch – Sending out art notes and contracts.

In Layout

Chicago Folio

Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds – Haven’t forgotten it.

Pirates of Pugmire – With Aileen.

Proofing

Memento Mori – At WW for approval.

Dark Eras 2 – Correction notes back to Aileen, so off to WW soon.

Trinity Continuum Aeon Jumpstart

M20 Book of the Fallen – Getting PgXX notes from Satyr Phil.

They Came from Beneath the Sea! – 2nd proof.

VtR Spilled Blood

At Press

Trinity: In Media Res – PDF and PoD versions on sale on Weds at DTRPG!

V5: Chicago – Shipping to the KS fulfillment shippers. PoD proofs ordered.

Aeon Aexpansion – PoD proofs coming.

Geist 2e (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition) – At press, proofs signed off on.

Geist 2e Screen – At press, waiting for proofs.

DR:E – At press, proofs signed off on.

DRE Screen – At press, waiting for proofs.

DR:E Threat Guide – Helnau’s Guide to Wasteland Beasties – PoD proof on the way.

Trinity RMCs

Tales of Good Dogs – PoD files uploaded.

Today’s Reason to Celebrate!

In Memoriam- Two performers that brought multiple beloved characters to life: Rene Auberjonois, from the original MASH Father Mulcahy, to Clayton Endicott III on Benson, to perhaps his best-known role as Odo on DS9, and Caroll Spinney, who brought Big Bird and, my personal favorite, Oscar the Grouch, to life on Sesame Street and delighted so many children around the world for decades. They did good work, brought two notable grouches to life, and will be missed by the many who loved them for it.