#*not that everything else would be off the table i just mean like. focusing my goals lmao
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my goal for 2025 wrt this blog specifically i think is going to be downsizing the amount of ppl i try to write with so i don't get overwhelmed tbh. i think what that looks like for me is finding writing partners who specifically would be interested in having me dig in my heels and focus really hard on developing a ship (or ships, if u want to play multiple "routes" on this blog lol) / keeping threads moving so i stop replying 9872439782349 years later and instead try to keep up with like a reply [or more] a week kinda deal. [on my end, to be clear, and not so literal - dw i'm not actually timing rp replies i'm crying, it's just the perfect idea </4 KJNEMRH]
i'm not v happy with the fact i take months to reply to ppl and also admittedly i'm just mostly interested in writing deep connections [esp romance] these days with my limited energy ¯_(ツ)_/¯ i dislike writing a ton of starters and relying on solely inbox memes can be hard so i'm like maybe i just find a handful of ppl who would be interested in locking in and writing threads w the intent to ship / tell a story of romance basically......... almost like an otome 😳 LMAO
thinking ...
#ʚ o. out of character ɞ ⁄ otome games are my thirteenth reason.#dunno if a wider group of ppl is very interested in that as a concept since ppl are iffy abt going in w#intents to ship which is fine#but i know my personal circle is + ofc i welcome others who would be too i'm just#hands in air#the world is sO DRAINING MAYBE I JUST NEED TO LOCK IN W SELECT PPL AND WRITE CRINGE RABBITS#*not that everything else would be off the table i just mean like. focusing my goals lmao
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General realizations ab shifting that helped me
The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.
You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.
Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.
No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.
To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.
As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.
All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.
Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.
Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.
Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look
They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)
Methods/Advice are like pants. Some are too itchy, some are too tight, some you like the feel of but there's just some small flaw. When you find what you were missing, what you needed to hear, it'll be a perfect fit.
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting community#shifting#shifting blog#desired reality#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifters#shifting consciousness#void state#the void state#the void#loablr#loa#loa advice#loass#loassumption#this kinda just turned into me yapping lol#will edit#java jots
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in over my head
masterlist
pairing: spencer reid x fem gideon!reader
summary: between all the arguments, you and spencer begin to understand each other a little bit more.
a/n: wauw.... out of nowhere i wrote 4k words and finished this chapter in one night... god bless spencer reid. i hope you all enjoy. r's cold heart is finally starting to defrost. title from the fray song
wc: 5k
warning(s): arguing, case discussions (stalking, murder, etc), talk of parental neglect, hurt w/o comfort then hurt/comfort. r lowkey freaking out this whole fic. the usual good time
You lean against the wall, trying to keep your breathing as quiet as possible.
You don’t really want Spencer to know you were eavesdropping on him the whole time. You don’t really want him to see the look on your face because he defended you to your dad.
He— he should expect it, shouldn’t he? He’s sitting out in the living room on the phone, and you’re you. It’s only natural you’d listen in on him.
Spencer defended you to your dad— mouthed off to him in very un-Spencer-like fashion.
Why?
From what you’d gathered, he practically worshipped the guy. Even if he didn’t, your dad was still his superior. It didn’t really seem like any kind of good idea to talk back to him.
But he did.
For you.
You thought Spencer merely tolerated you because he had to. You wouldn’t blame him, the way you treated him. So why would he do something like that for you?
You’re jarred out of your thoughts when you hear Spencer say your name. You blink back into yourself to see him standing in front of you, and you feel your face burn.
So much for not being obvious.
“I’m assuming you heard everything?” he asks.
You nod. You have the decency to not insult his intelligence, at least.
“That means we can go over everything,” Spencer says, already starting to walk away. “Come on.”
You frown. You expected him to be mad at you for eavesdropping, or use what he did for you as leverage for something, or— or do anything but act normal.
You shake yourself out of your thoughts once again as you follow him back to the living room. Spencer sits back down on the couch and you tentatively sit across from him.
“I don’t want what I said to scare you,” he says. “Hernandez may be our lead right now, but I doubt it’ll stay that way. Elle and Morgan are going to check him out, and I’ll get another call once they do.”
You blink. Of course he’d expect you to be focused on that part—your stalker, the threat against your life, the whole reason you’re in here. Not Spencer sticking up for you.
“Right,” you say. “Do you think it’s him?”
“Honestly? No.” Spencer sighs and shakes his head. “You heard what I said. He doesn’t fit the profile—he’s a man who made the worst choices of his life when he lost everything. If he’s been released, he might have actually changed. We’re only on him because he’s all we’ve got.”
“…Good,” you say. “Strangling wouldn’t be my top way to go.”
“You need to stop talking like that,” he says.
“I need to stop doing a lot of things,” you respond. “Any idea how much longer we’ll be in here?”
Spencer shakes his head. “We’re here until this case is solved or our cover is blown.”
You huff. “Like if this guy finds us again?”
He nods. “But that shouldn’t happen. Elle, Gideon, Hotch, and Strauss are the only ones who know about this place, and they’re obviously sworn to silence.”
“Strauss?”
“Erin Strauss,” he says. “The BAU’s section chief.”
“Ah.” You realize you’re still holding your mug, now empty, and you lean forward to set it on the table. “What happens if we’re made?”
“You’ve got to stop thinking about the worst case scenarios,” Spencer says. “Pessimism doesn’t just make anxiety, depression, and paranoia worse—it can raise your blood pressure, increase your chance of cardiovascular problems, and mess with your immune system. It’s literally bad for your health.”
“Well, what else am I supposed to do?” you ask. “I’ve got a stalker and we didn’t realize until he’d been watching me for a month. Your team has only got one lead and you don’t even think it’s the right one. That sounds pretty negative to me.”
“We’re still at the beginning of this case,” Spencer says. “It usually takes a few bodies for us to figure out what’s really going on and find the unsub in our regular cases.”
You stare at him, and he seems to realize what he’s actually said.
“Of course, there won’t be any bodies in this case!” he rushes. “You— you’re going to be perfectly fine!”
“You’re really not great at reassurance,” you say wryly as you pick up your cup and stand up, “are you?”
“Homicides only occur in two percent of stalking cases!” Spencer continues, his voice rising as you go into the kitchen. “A- and you might not even be the primary target! If anything, he might be going after your dad!”
By now you’ve finished filling your mug again. You stop at the edge of the hallway when he finishes, leveling a tired look at him.
“Thanks, Spence. That really helps.”
You walk back to your room, and once again, you only close the door halfway to humor his concerns.
If you’d lingered a little longer, you would have been able to see his frown.
“Spence?” he murmurs in confusion.
-
The rest of the day goes by smoother than you thought it would, largely because Spencer keeps his distance and you don’t fight it.
You busy yourself with more cleaning—you never finished it after your last outburst—and when you finish that, you read. You find Pride and Prejudice in the box of books the BAU provided, and it’s a good distraction. You’d much rather worry about the problems of the Bennets rather than your own.
You end up cooking first, and you offer Spencer some of your pasta when you finish. He initially looks shocked at the olive branch, but you figure you owe him something for all he’s put up with.
You don’t tell him that, of course. You just tell him he has five seconds to make a decision before you finish the rest, and he snaps out of it pretty quickly.
(“I promise I’m capable of cooking,” he says as he spoons a helping into his bowl. “I— I just don’t have much time for it. We’re always out on cases so we go to a lot of restaurants, and I get take-out at home because I get home at ungodly hours.”
“Just shut up and eat your food,” you say. “I don’t need to hear your opening statement.”
“Actually, I wouldn’t call this an opening statement. It’s more of—”
“Oh my god.” You pick up your bowl and walk off. “Goodbye.”
“I think it’s more of a witness testimony!” he calls out.)
A similar thing happens with dinner, where you pull out the old reliable of chicken and rice. Dressed up a bit with some of the vegetables that are somehow already on the verge of going bad, but still the same thing you’ve eaten a million times throughout your life. You don’t really feel like cooking, but you also don’t feel like having to hear Spencer set the smoke alarm again, so you settle for this.
(“You know,” Spencer says as he cuts into a chicken thigh, “I should really be trying everything first. Just in case there’s poison or something.”
You stifle your incredulous laugh. “How would there be poison in anything? You all bought and brought this stuff in.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. But you can never be too careful.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you say. “I— I think that is the most ridiculous thing you’ve said since I’ve met you.”
“I hope you’re not challenging me,” Spencer says. “Because I can beat it very easily.”)
Between that, he calls out on occasion to make sure you’re still alive. You think it’s stupid, but it seems to ease his mind, so you play along.
He gets a call from your dad late at night, which he then goes on to relay to you—Agents Greenaway and Morgan paid a visit to Adam Hernandez, and they weren’t able to find anything suspicious. Penelope Garcia is going to comb through everything she can find on what he’s done since his release before they officially abandon the lead, but Hernandez is on parole and hasn’t violated it once—he seems to be clean.
You don’t know whether you’re thankful for that or not. On one hand, you want this to be over. Getting lucky on the first suspect would be great. On the other hand, having a face to all of this scares you more than not knowing. You still have the chance to deny that all of this is real, really real—when they find their guy, you can’t do that anymore. There’s actually someone out there that wants to hurt you.
The thought crossed your mind more often than not.
Other than that, he doesn’t really bother you. Another thing where you don’t really know if you’re thankful or not.
It’s close to midnight, and though you haven’t been able to sleep, you’re ready to accept this as another, thankfully non eventful day.
But then there’s a huge flash of lightning, visible even through your closed blinds, followed closely by a deafening crack of thunder, and your whole body freezes up. Your hands stop on the page you were on, and a chill runs all the way through you despite the layers of covers you’re under.
Rain has been pittering against the house for half the night, and you can deal with rain. You can’t deal with thunderstorms.
You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. The absolute last thing you need to do is work yourself into a panic attack and get Spencer involved. You don’t think you could take the embarrassment.
You attempt to go back to your book. You’d just arrived at Mr. Collins’ unsuccessful marriage proposal, but you can hardly focus. It doesn’t help when lightning illuminates your room once again, a clap of thunder sounding even quicker after, and your lamp flickers for a moment. This is actually the last thing you need—for the power to go out.
A knock on your door suddenly sounds, and you nearly jump out of your skin. You’re already on edge and the storm’s just barely started. You hear Spencer call your name and ask if you’re awake, and you clear your throat before you respond.
“What do you want?” You try to keep your voice as level as possible, but it wavers ever so slightly.
“Can I come in?”
You don’t want him to see you like this. “Is there something wrong?”
“It’s the storm,” he says, and he doesn’t wait for you to respond. “I’m coming in.”
You have all of two seconds to make sure you don’t look as pathetic as you feel before Spencer walks in.
He looks like he just got out of bed. He’s wearing a Caltech crewneck and sweatpants, and his glasses are about to fall off his face. His disheveled appearance is in stark contrast to his usual image, with dress pants and button-ups and sweater vests galore. One of his hands clenches around the doorframe, and he uses the other to haphazardly push his glasses up as he sets his eyes on you.
“You need to come back into the living room,” Spencer says.
“And good evening to you too.” You try not to look at him. You’ve learned that’s the best policy when it comes to him and those stupid glasses. “Why?”
“Because there’s a storm going on, and the power’s already flickered,” he says. “I don’t want to lose track of you if it does go out.”
“If the power goes out, we’re in the open out there,” you say. “If you’re so worried about it, you should stay in here.”
You expect a fight, but he just sighs and sits down in the chair across from your bed. “Fine.”
You frown. “That was easy.”
“I don’t feel like fighting with you over every little thing,” he says simply. “You might enjoy it, but I don’t. So I’m trying to take the path of least resistance.”
“That’s no fun,” you say.
“Well, you’re not very fun to be around,” Spencer says. He glances at you for a split second before his gaze goes back to the wall. “So.”
“Well, neither are you!” You don’t mean for your retort to come out so defensively, and you cringe as he looks back at you. It’s impossible to be around profilers without them knowing your every intent. You’d hate to know all the thoughts he’s had about you. “I might turn everything into a fight, but you turn everything into a drag.”
“You’re doing it again,” he says. You expect him to go on, but he leaves it that. You find your brows furrowing deeper.
“And?”
“Maybe if you recognize your patterns, you’ll stop,” he says. “Sometimes people don’t realize they're doing something until it’s pointed out to them.”
You huff. “How many times do I have to tell you not to psychoanalyze me?”
“I don’t choose to do it,” Spencer says. You don’t miss the slight bite behind his words, and it almost makes you smile. As much as he doesn’t want to give you a fight, he can’t really help himself. You tend to bring out the worst in people. “It just happens in my brain automatically.”
“Try to hold back,” you say. “It—”
Your words die in your throat with another crash of thunder, almost simultaneous with the lightning. It shakes the whole house, and you can’t help the full body flinch that wracks you, almost freezing completely. The power flickers again, and then it goes out altogether. You don’t even hold back your groan of annoyance.
“Of course,” you grit out. “Of fucking course.”
“Are you okay?” You look at him despite yourself, and even in the dark you can see the concern in his eyes. It makes your hands clench into fists beneath the sheets.
“Fine,” you mutter. “It doesn’t matter.”
Spencer frowns. “Of course it does.”
You scoff. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Why would it not matter?” he asks incredulously. “You— you’re clearly distressed, and holding it back isn’t helping anyone.”
“Maybe I just like silence.”
“Well, you clearly don’t like storms.”
“How’d you figure that one, genius?” you mutter. You wrap your arms around yourself and pull your knees up to your chest, trying to lessen the sudden chill you feel.
“...Normally, I would give you a real answer,” Spencer says. “But based on the lecture you just gave me—”
“You figured right,” you snap. It only takes a second—and those stupid, soft eyes of his to dart away again—for you to feel… bad.
He sighs and shakes his head as he stands up. “I’m going to get a candle. Stay put.”
You tense as he walks out. Your whole body does, actually. You don’t know what it is about him or those stupid eyes that always manage to skirt out sympathy from you.
You should feel gratified. At the start of this, you wanted to push Spencer to his limits—he’s too nice for his own good, and you wanted him to not only give you a more concrete reason to hate him, but get a reason to hate you back. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with this one-sided rivalry with the apparent saint of the BAU.
But you don’t. You feel bad, and you hate it. You hate it more than any reasonable person should, but then again—you’ve never been reasonable.
Spencer comes back in sooner rather than later, two lit candles in his hands. You can see the on-sale sticker plastered on the side of both, and you suppress a laugh. It’s something so small but so typical.
“One’s vanilla, and one is,” he squints as he shifts it in his hand to read, “beach escape. What does a beach escape even smell like?” He shakes his head, then looks at you. “Which one do you—”
“I’m sorry,” you interrupt. You blurt it out before you can even stop yourself.
This time, it’s Spencer’s turn to frown. His face is illuminated from beneath by the candlelight and it gives him an almost haunting beauty, highlighted with yellow and white along his jawline and cheekbones. The flames are mirrored in the lenses of his glasses. “For what?”
“For snapping.” You almost snap at him again out of instinct, and you let out a long, loose sigh in an effort to try and chill out for once. “Sorry. Again.”
“Oh.” He stands there for a moment holding the two candles, and it could be a laughable sight were you not near consumed with guilt. “Uh— it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Fine,” he says, “it’s not. Which candle do you want?”
“Which one do you want?”
“This isn’t where you have to start the ‘being nice to me’ thing,” Spencer says. “They’re kind of starting to burn my hands.”
“Beach escape,” you say. He nods and sets it on your bedside table, then sits back down in his chair after placing the vanilla one in the window sill.
“You… seem a little pent up,” Spencer says after letting the silence dwell for a beat. His shoulders have relaxed some, not hunched up almost to his ears. Small victories, at least.
“I don’t talk about my emotions much,” you respond in equal fashion. “It’s not really my thing.”
He shrugs. “Why not start now?”
You laugh. “Why would I ever start now?”
“You said it yourself,” he says. “I have a psychology degree. I’m a good listener.”
“You interrupt me all the time to say stuff.”
“You interrupt me all the time too, so I guess we’re even.” Spencer shifts in his chair. “Besides, I can listen when it’s important. And this is.”
You stare at him. He stares back.
He has beautiful eyes even in the dark, and you hate that you can’t deny it. Deep brown like the oaks surrounding this place, that shine like pools of honey in the firelight, that always seem to soften just so when he looks at you.
You break first. You have to look away. You always have to look away.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you manage. “I was a latchkey kid. Storms happened a lot when I was home alone and they scared me. I guess they still do. Happy?”
“Believe it or not, your pain doesn’t make me happy,” Spencer says.
“I didn’t think it did,” you say, trying your best to snap.
He nods. “So we’re in agreement?”
“I—” you pause, a slight frown creasing your brows. “I guess.”
Spencer nods again, and he leans forward a bit. “Wasn’t that a lot better than fighting with me, getting upset, and isolating yourself?”
You scowl. “Don’t you dare therapize me.”
“It’s hard not to,” Spencer says. “Especially when you seem determined to make our conversations one-sided.”
You scoff. “I do not.”
“You act like talking to me is a physical pain.” He crosses his arms. “You locked yourself in the bathroom last night to avoid talking to me.”
“I locked myself in the bathroom so I wouldn’t lose my mind in front of you,” you say. “Just because I know everything about you doesn’t mean I want you to know everything about me.”
Spencer scoffs. “You don’t know everything about me.”
“My dad talks about you more than you think,” you say. “About your whole team—but especially you.”
“Where am I from?” he asks.
“Vegas,” you say. “He mentions it every time you beat him at cards.”
“That— that doesn’t really matter,” he says. “I know you’re from Fairfax.”
“The worst place in the world,” you say emphatically. You can’t believe you’ve been stuck in NoVa your whole life. “Doesn’t count, though. You’re an FBI agent—you’re supposed to know things like this.”
“So it counts when you know it, but it doesn’t count when I do?” Spencer asks.
You nod. “I’ve heard about Penelope Garcia. I’m more surprised you don’t know everything about me by now.”
“Me too,” he says. “Garcia can find anything. Gideon really did a good j—”
He stops in the middle of his sentence, his eyes widening slightly as he clamps his mouth shut.
“What?” You lean forward, looking him in the eye. “He did a good job doing what?”
“I don’t want to start another argument,” he says.
“Oh, poor you.” You don’t think you could sound more sarcastic if you tried. “You don’t want to hear me talk about my absent father that didn’t have time for me because he was too busy with you.” You glance away. “You don’t know what it feels like.”
“There’s something you don’t know about me then,” Spencer says. “Because I do.”
“Unless your dad’s ignored you all his life in favor of his job and the stray genius he found there, you really don’t.”
“My dad left when I was a kid because he couldn’t deal with my mom’s schizophrenia,” Spencer retorts. His words get you to look right back at him—they’re not overly sharp or exceedingly soft, just matter-of-fact. “I haven’t seen him since. So you’re right—I don’t know exactly what it’s like, but I know a hell of a lot more than you think.”
Regret hits you immediately, sour and spiny as it settles in your chest. You’ve been an asshole to him this whole time, and all along he’s held this inside of him? All along, you’ve been accusing him of stealing your life from you when he’s lost more than you have.
For a moment, you can only stare at him, at a loss for words. He meets your eyes in equal measure. You might know a lot about Spencer Reid, but you’re quickly realizing you don’t know Spencer Reid.
“Guess we’re a lot more similar than you thought,” he says in your silence.
“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” you murmur, finally managing to muster up words. “That’s awful. You didn’t deserve that.”
“No one does,” he shrugs. This time, he’s the one to look away. “But it is what it is.”
“How can you just say that?” you ask. You lean forward, a frown creasing your brows. “How are you not just— just angry all the time? That your dad doesn’t give a fuck about you or your mom?”
“For a while, I was.” He chuckles, but there’s no heart in it. “I was angry at everyone. My dad, my mom, the adults around me— I hated myself most of all. It’s part of the reason I was so good in school. I didn’t want to think about it, I didn’t want to deal with it, so I studied as hard as I could, read as much as humanly possible.” He smiles thinly at nothing in particular. “Turns out I’m very good at avoiding things when I want to.”
You shake your head with a scoff. “You’re a better person than I am. I would have hunted him down by now and given him a piece of my mind.”
“It’s not worth it.” Spencer looks back at you. “He decided he didn’t want to be a part of my life. I’m not going to reward him by letting him ruin it when he’s not even here.”
Is that what you’re doing? Letting your dad ruin your life by letting him occupy every part of it even when he’s not there? He’s influenced every part of your life, every part of you, and he hasn’t been here for half of it. Sometimes you’re surprised he didn’t miss your birth.
Another flash of lightning, another crack of thunder. You tense every muscle in your body to stop yourself from flinching as hard in front of Spencer. You think he notices anyway.
“I’ve been angry at my dad since I was a kid,” you say once you’ve recovered. “He missed my dance recitals and my gymnastics meets and my soccer games, but he signed the checks for all of the payments. He told me to take honors and AP classes and missed the ceremonies for the awards. He was never there for anything that mattered, but—” you laugh again, and you blink back the tears— “but he waited until I was eighteen to get a divorce so I wouldn’t have to deal with a custody battle.”
You bite down hard on your lip to force them back even harder as you look at Spencer. “Isn’t that fucked up? Neither of them have been there for us, but they’ve still shaped every part of us with their absence. We can’t escape it even when they’re not here, because them not being here is what caused it.”
“I refuse to give him that much power,” Spencer says. “My dad left. He chose to leave. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, so I don’t want anything to do with him. I mean, I’m an FBI agent. I work with some of the best profilers in the world. I could find him if I wanted to, but I’m not going to waste my time chasing some pipe dream of a father that doesn’t exist.”
“Your situation is different, though.” Both his eyes and tone soften, and something inside you stirs. “The only break I know Gideon’s taken was that six month medical leave that was practically forced on him. I think it would take an actual, life-threatening injury to get him to take another one. It’s a lot different having someone around and just… being neglected.”
“I’ve just always felt like such an asshole for it,” you mutter. “You all save lives every day. You’ve taken down a thousand sick criminals.” You shake your head with another mirthless laugh. “My dad saves women like me every day, gives them the chance to see their fathers again, and I’m mad at him because— because he won’t meet me for brunch? Because he missed my school band concerts?”
“It’s not that simple,” Spencer says. “It’s never that simple. You don’t need to feel bad for hating him, but you also don’t need to feel bad for loving him, too.”
You scoff. “There you go again with the psychology degree.”
“It’s the truth,” he says. “Just because you feel rightfully angry doesn’t mean you don’t still love him. It’s part of the reason why you’re so conflicted about him.” He gave you a wry smile. “It makes everything a lot more complicated, doesn’t it?”
You shift in your bed. “Far cry from everything you told me before all this started.”
“We see completely different sides of Gideon,” Spencer says. “I’m just… ashamed that it took me so long to believe you about all of it.”
You huff a laugh. “I’m the one that should be ashamed. I thought you had this— this perfect life, with my dad loving you on top of it. That’s why I hated you so much.”
He perks up. “Hated? As in, past tense? As in, you don’t hate me anymore?”
You try to bite back your smile. You barely succeed. “Call it a truce.”
Spencer grins and nudges his glasses back into place once again. “This might be my favorite truce since 1914.”
“Christmas Truce,” you nod. “Good one.”
“You know it?”
“Of course I do,” you say. “I’m a teacher.”
Spencer blinks. “You— you are?”
“Why is that such a surprise?” you ask.
“You’re so…”
“Mean to you?” You chuckle. “Trust me, I’m not like this with my kids. My job is one of the parts of my life that I’m actually happy with.”
“...Huh.” Spencer smiles at you, and you find yourself smiling back, subconsciously. “You should tell me about it sometime.”
“Sure,” you nod. “Maybe you can tell me about everything you do sometime.”
“You’re sure you won’t get bored?” he asks. “You might not realize, but I have a tendency to rant.”
You laugh. “Part of our truce.”
This time, he nods. “Cool. That— that’s cool.”
You roll your eyes as you look away, but your smile betrays you once again. Your gaze snaps over to the lamp as it flickers back on, and you realize you haven’t heard any thunder in a while.
“Looks like the storm’s passed.” Spencer separates two of the window blinds with his fingers and peers through. You’ve never really focused on his hands like you do now—with the way you feel your face burn, it’s probably a good thing. You look away as soon as possible. “Just rain, now.”
“Good,” you say, and you let out a yawn. “All our talking tired me out.”
“Good,” he echoes as he picks his candle up from the window pane. “You should get eight hours of sleep a night, and I know for a fact you don’t.”
You roll your eyes. “Whatever, professor.”
“You’re the teacher here,” he says. “I should be saying that to you.”
“And yet you’re so much more annoying than I could ever be,” you muse.
“Does our truce include this?”
“Naturally.”
Spencer chuckles and shakes his head. He starts walking to the doorway, but you speak up before he can leave.
“Night, Spencer.” You pause as you bite the inside of your lip, then continue before you can stop yourself. “I really enjoyed talking with you.”
He hesitates for a moment, his hand lingering on the doorframe. Then he bids you goodnight in the same fashion, actually saying your name. “I did too.”
It makes your heart skip a beat.
Spencer closes the door behind him, and you find yourself staring at the wood long after he’s gone. You jolt when you finally come back into yourself, and you shake your head to get out of the haze.
You glance at the clock on your bedside table, and blink when you realize it’s almost 1:30. You really do need to get to bed.
The smoke makes you cough as you blow your candle out, and you wave a hand around to dispel it before you turn the lamp off. You lay down and pull the sheets up around you. You end up having to switch positions at least five times before you start to get comfortable.
But the strangest thing is plaguing you despite your restlessness. You were freezing before the storm started, even when the electricity was working, but now there’s a strange warmth attempting to permeate within you. It almost helps you relax.
The room feels a lot smaller without him in it.
You exhale, long, slow, and deep as you close your eyes. The scent of vanilla lingers in the air.
You hope you don’t dream tonight.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#gideon!reader#spencer reid angst#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds angst#x reader#sadie writes#anyone that knows anything about george mason knows how upsetting it is that she went there instead of columbia LMAO#literally the most soul sucking commuter school
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Everyone Hates Todo Except You
The best part about Todo is that you don’t have to put yandere in front of him because his normal behavior already screams delusional and obsessive. You cannot convince me that he doesn’t sniff all your things as soon as you’re not looking. He’s just so intense. I love this man, need to catch up on jjk.
~1k words. Thank you to whoever requested this and I hope you enjoy!
At the Kyoto branch, nobody really bothers sticking their nose in Todo’s business. But when there’s an enormous mound of trash bags outside his room that just keeps getting bigger, concerning glances and eyebrow raises no longer cut it. Normally his antics earn a side eye or two, but lately it’s been a little much, even for him. At the breakfast table the next day, the girls decide to draw straws to see who has to tell him to move his shit.
“It’s not fair! Why do I have to do it?” Miwa groans, cursing her bad luck for the thousandth time.
“It is fair, you just happened to draw the short straw now go deal with it! We'll back you up.” Mai grins, knowing full well she rigged it.
Kasumi Miwa would rather be doing literally anything else at this moment. She timidly knocks on the door, and says, “Todo? Could you move all this stuff please? You’re starting to block the hallway.”
“Yeah I’ll get to it whenever I get the rest of this junk cleaned up. Don’t worry there’s no food waste so there shouldn’t be any smell.”
“B-but Todo…. It's been almost a week now…” The only response was the muted sound of shuffling.
Miwa looks back in defeat at her so-called “back up” as they peek from behind the corner. Their best bet now is to get one of the boys to convince him. And if they fail it’s straight to Utahime-sensei.
Todo looks at his room, emptier than it’s ever been. He knew this was the likeliest outcome. Takada-chan was a beloved idol, and even if she liked him back (which he thought she might have at some point) there was no way she could be with him. He knew, but it doesn't mean it hurt any less. There were years of carefully collected merch, thousands of dollars being stuffed into trash bags to be thrown away. But instead of the despair he carefully denied for years, he didn’t feel any loss throwing away all the autographed posters and pictures. No, he had something much better now, someone who could actually be with him in this wretched, boring world. He had his wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful, perfect in every way girlfriend. And while you weren’t aware that you were destined to be with him yet, he would make sure you’d know soon. As soon as he finished purging his space of Takada-chan (it wouldn’t do to have pictures of an old flame) he’d confess.
A few days later he was tying up the last trash bag, ready to enact his plan. He asked you to meet him under the largest tree in the forest on the edge of the training field. Several hypothetical scenarios floated through his mind, and he focused on the one where you’d enthusiastically said you loved him back and then he married you and had many children. As he neared the confession site, Todo felt yet another arrow go through his heart as you came into view. I’ll never get tired of seeing her.
“Todo, is everything okay? What’s up?” A shiver ran down Todo’s spine, goosebumps rising. God, even your voice was perfect.
“I love you. Promise me, y/n. That we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.” He got down on one knee like a proposal, looking up at you like a devout follower.
“Todo… I don’t know about the rest of our lives but why don’t we start with a date? I like you too.” While you were a bit taken aback by his forwardness, you brush it off as Todo being Todo. You never disliked his honesty and unabashedness.
“My girlfriend!! I knew you felt the same!” A single tear ran down Todo’s face.
Back to the dorms, it wasn’t long before everyone found out and congregated at your room to badger you with questions.
“Ugh that gorilla? You guys are dating now?” Nishimiya asked, firmly believing Todo to be an improper and inadequate boyfriend.
“I thought he only had eyes for that idol Takado or whatever,” Miwa chimes.
“It’s Takada,” Mai corrects, not able to make eye contact with Nishimiya’s suspicious glance in her direction.
“We’re dating now! He just asked me out, and he’s really good to me.” you reply, thinking of how Todo insisted on carrying you back to the dorms, gently setting you down before running off saying he needed to ‘prepare’.
“You can do way better than Todo, trust us.” The girls all nod in agreement. However, Todo is outside your room balancing a tray of perfectly cooked lunch and a cold pitcher of water.
“What are you guys talking about?” he knows already, but wants to hear them say it to his face.
“How y/n is too good for the likes of you.” Mai minces no words for Todo. With the uncomfortable tension rising, the Kyoto girls hastily make an exit.
“My love, I made lunch for us. I know I am not handsome, or come from wealth and a good sorcerer family like some of our classmates. But I will be devoted. I will never stray from you, I’d die if you asked me to.” he says, as he sets the meal on your small desk, pulling out utensils and napkins. His normal confidence seems to waver a bit, and it seems that not even Todo is immune to worrying about what other people think of him.
“Todo, don’t worry about what they say and please don’t say you’ll die for me. I like you a lot, I wouldn’t have accepted your confession if I didn’t. I also think you’re quite handsome.”
“You love me back?” he whispers, kneeling at the edge of your bed, looking up at you. While it’s a bit too early to tell, Todo’s hopeful, reverent look has you obliging him.
“I do love you back.” He embraces you, and you can hear his heartbeat in his bare chest. It feels good to be loved so wholeheartedly, and you’ll give him all the love you have to repay him.
#x reader#yandere#jujutsu kaisen#aoi todo#jujutsu kaisen x reader#yandere x reader#todo x reader#yandere todo#aoi toudou#yandere jjk#jjk#aoi todo x reader#requested#hurt/comfort#jjk x reader#todo fluff#but also yandere bc that's just how he is in my mind
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say it’s okay - george clarke.
not a request but something i’ve had sitting in my drafts for a while.
you don’t mean to be short with him.
you’re just… tired.
your head hurts, your back aches, and everything feels too loud. it’s one of those days where your skin is hot with frustration and everything anyone says feels like too much. you’re sore, your stomach’s cramping, and all you want is to disappear under your duvet and sleep for a week.
and george—sweet, thoughtful, always-needs-to-be-touching-you george—isn’t helping.
he’s chattering from the kitchen about some video idea, voice light and happy, and you know he’s excited, you do, but it’s all too much right now. the clink of dishes. the hum of the fridge. the high-pitched laugh in his voice. it makes your shoulders tense.
you sit on the couch, arms crossed, jaw tight. he walks into the room holding two mugs, eyes crinkled as he says, “made you a cuppa, poppet,” like it’s the best thing anyone’s ever done.
and you snap.
“i didn’t ask for tea, george.”
he freezes, blinking. “oh. i—i know, but i thought it might help—”
“what would help,” you cut in, “is just… not being smothered right now.”
you hate how harsh it sounds the moment it leaves your mouth. the mug trembles slightly in his hand. he nods once, like he understands, but his smile falters. just a bit. just enough.
“right. yeah. sorry,” he says softly, placing the mug down on the table before stepping back.
he doesn’t say anything else. just disappears into the other room.
and then it’s quiet.
at first, you’re still irritated. at everything. your body, the headache, the world. but as the minutes pass, the fog of exhaustion starts to clear and something else creeps in.
guilt.
you didn’t mean to speak to him like that. you didn’t mean to act like he was the problem when he was just trying to help.
you sip the tea—still warm, sweet, just how you like it—and it hits you all at once.
he didn’t deserve that.
you find him an hour later, curled up in bed with his laptop, headphones on. he doesn’t notice you at first, totally focused on whatever he’s editing. his brows are drawn, lips in a little pout of concentration, and your heart pulls at the sight.
you feel even worse.
you tap on the doorframe softly. he glances up.
and smiles.
not big. not dramatic. just this small, soft thing like he’s not sure if he should. but he does. because he’s george.
“hey,” you whisper.
“hey,” he says back.
you climb onto the bed beside him, curling into his side, and he immediately shifts to make room, one arm going around your waist out of habit.
you bury your face in his neck.
“i was really mean earlier.”
he exhales slowly. “you were just tired.”
“no, i was shitty. i know i was.”
his fingers trace soft patterns on your side. “you weren’t feeling good. it’s okay.”
“it’s not okay,” you mumble. “you were being sweet and i snapped at you.”
he pulls back just enough to look at you, expression gentle. “i get it, love. everyone has off days.”
you frown. “i still feel like a dick.”
he smiles a little at that. “well, you did hurt my feelings.”
you blink. “i did?”
he nods, honest as always. “a bit. but only ‘cause i was excited to see you. i’d been thinking about you all day.”
your chest squeezes. “george…”
“but i knew you didn’t mean it,” he says quickly, brushing your hair behind your ear. “i know you. i know your heart.”
you blink hard. you don’t cry—but god, he makes you want to.
“you were so excited about the tea,” you whisper. “and i was so awful.”
he shrugs, soft. “it’s just tea.”
“no,” you shake your head. “it’s not. it’s you being sweet and thoughtful. and i love that about you. i love you. even when i’m tired. even when i act like a brat.”
“you weren’t a brat.”
“i was,” you insist, grabbing his hand. “and i’m sorry.”
he watches you for a moment, then lifts your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles one by one.
“you’re forgiven,” he says against your skin.
you lean in and kiss his cheek. “you sure?”
he nods. “completely.”
and then he grins, playful. “but i’ll accept additional apologies in the form of cuddles. maybe a forehead kiss. possibly a foot rub.”
you laugh. “you drive a hard bargain.”
he winks. “i am a man of principle.”
you settle back into his arms, letting the warmth of him soothe away the last of the guilt. he holds you close, like he always does, like he doesn’t hold anything against you.
and you realize something.
being loved by george isn’t just sweet. it’s healing.
later, you make him tea.
you bring it to him, proud, and set it in front of him with a dramatic flourish. “for you, my patient, angelic boyfriend.”
he chuckles, takes a sip, then hums. “perfect.”
“better than yours?”
he raises a brow. “never.”
you pout.
he kisses you. “but almost.”
and just like that, everything feels okay again.
taglist: @phantomveb @just-yazz @wherethezoes-at @tomhollandismyhusband1996 @cheekytv @clarkeysbedchem @artvscvntymullet @idkwhatthisevenislol @barfurtv @fyuge @ijustwannaread03
#george clarke#george clarkey#georgeclarkey#george clarkey fic#george clarkey imagine#george clarkey x y/n#george clarkey x reader
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Childhood friends to lovers w modern Jace and he’s just really protective over you. When they go out to a party, he’s just begging you to not start anything with any guys, and he’s lowkey mad at you for wearing something revealing. You end up really drunk to the point where Jace has to take you home and you’re just rlly touchy and bold, confessing things you would never say if you sober. And he’s just being flirty back and teasing you abt the stuff you’re saying about him. Idek where this is going but like eventual smut. 😩 Ty, your works are so good.
I love college modern!Jace. To my eyes, he is always part of the hockey team and friends with Cregan. This is how I see modern!Jace
Sorry, I didn't do smut because consent when drunk is not valid consent (you know what I mean?) but everything else is checked!
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—
Jace sat on your bed as you finished getting ready in your bathroom. He played with the ears of your purple giraffe plushie, smiling when he saw the friendship bracelet still tied to its neck.
‘’Do you know if Jason is gonna be there tonight?’’
‘’Lannister?’’
You hummed and Jace grimaced.
‘’He’s a fucking asshole and only want you for sex. Don’t talk to him. Okay?’’
You rolled your eyes in the mirror, tired of Jace disapproving of every guy you talked to. He wasn't trying to make all guys seem bad; he just knew them and their intentions better than you. He was looking out for you.
And you trusted his judgment.
‘’Yes, dad,’’ you replied sarcastically as you came out of the bathroom.
Jace’s head lifted when you came into view, his breath catching in his throat when he saw the top you were wearing. To his eyes, this was a bra — with a longer bodice. While you looked really good in it, guys at the party will think the same and oggle you in ways that would make Jace want to punch them.
‘’Eh, is there a second shirt that goes over this one?’’
You frowned at his question. ‘’No. Why? What’s wrong with my shirt?’’
Jace took a few seconds to think of a way of saying that your shirt was showing a lot without sounding like he was calling you slutty. ‘’Aren’t you gonna get cold? It’s nearly November.’’
You shrugged, grabbing your phone and dorm keys. ‘’I’m fine. You always give me your jacket when I get cold.’’
‘’Right. But maybe you should take a jacket with you? In case I’m not available to give you mine.’’
‘’Not available?’’ Your lips curled into a mischievous smirk. ‘’Jacaerys Velaryon, are you planning on leaving with a girl tonight?’’ you teased, poking at his chest. You’ve seen him kissing girls at parties, but he never left with any of them.
He ignored your question, clearly not wanting to discuss his romantic life. ‘’Let’s go. Cregan is already on his third beer. I need to get my revenge on air hockey before he gets too drunk.’’
You laughed, slipping your phone into your small purse. ‘’Can I play too?’’
‘’We’ll see,’’ Jace said, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you walked out of your dorm.
It’s not that he didn’t want you to play. You’ve played with the boys before. It’s just that your shirt was not ideal for playing air hockey. If you leaned on the table, everything would be exposed and he didn’t like the idea of his friends looking at your tits.
The music was loud at the frat house, plunging everyone into the ambiance. You were sipping your second drink and dancing with your friends after watching Cregan annihilate Jace at air hockey. Jace seemed distracted, his eyes scanning the room instead of focusing on the game. Maybe he was searching for a girl?
Shaking off the thought, you headed to the kitchen and made yourself another drink. You should be happy if he found someone he liked, but the truth was, you were secretly jealous. He had been your best friend since kindergarten, you should have dibs on him.
You put the caps back on the bottles and reached for your glass, but someone snatched it away.
‘’Hey! Give it back!’’
‘’No more drinks for you,’’ Jace said from behind you, pouring the contents of your glass into the sink.
‘’It’s my first drink. Okay, maybe my second…or third.’’ A giggle escaped your lips. You were a lightweight when it came to drinking, a fact you always seemed to forget. ‘’I think I’m a little tipsy.’’
Jace raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. ‘’Tipsy?’’ He shook his head and suggested you head home and watch Grey’s Anatomy.
You pouted, not wanting to leave the party just yet, but the thought of watching Grey's Anatomy with Jace sounded nice. He was always so invested in the episodes and characters, but it was a secret. If his teammates knew, they would never let him live it down.
His arm was around you, leading you out of the frat house and into the cool night air. As you walked back to your dorm, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for Jace’s presence. You didn’t know many guys who would offer to take their drunk friend home without any bad intentions.
‘’You’re a good person, Jace,’’ you said, his jacket over your shoulders. ‘’Always looking out for me.’’
He chuckled, pulling you closer when a group of drunk guys walked by. ‘’What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?’’
You didn’t respond.
Once you were at your dorm, you set up your laptop and settled into your small bed. It was a tight fit, but you and Jace made it work.
The episode started where you left off.
‘’Who do you think is better? McDreamy or McSteamy?’’ you asked as Derek appeared on the screen.
‘’I don’t know,’’ Jace responded, lying comfortably against your pillows. ‘’Mark is eye-candy, but I think early seasons McDreamy was peak.’’
You nodded, laying your head against Jace’s shoulder. ‘’Same. I have a soft spot for brunets. And curly hair.’’
‘’Derek doesn’t have curly hair…’’
‘’But you do and it’s cute.’’
‘’You think my hair is cute?’’ Jace repeated, teasing you.
‘’It’s so curly and bouncy. And soft too.’’ You twirled one of Jace���s curly hair around your finger, your fingers lingering as position caused your chest to press slightly against his. ‘’And you smell very good. Except when you play hockey. You’re stinky.’’
Jace laughed, the sound vibrating through your body. ‘’Good to know. I’ll make sure I shower before seeing you.’’
You smiled, your fingers still playing with his hair. ‘’You’re so pretty.’’
Your last compliment took him by surprise, his cheeks flushing. Had you not been intoxicated on alcohol, tonight would have taken a different turn, but Jace was respectful. He would never make a move without your sober consent.
‘’Eh, thanks. Let's...let's continue watching Greys.’’
—
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hello hello! i see that the headcanon requests are open, so i have arrived 🐺🐺 i'd like to request the housewardens + chenya, neige and ortho with a reader that's mute! i feel like this would be an interesting thing to go off of. feel free to write it as something reader gained after a certain event, or as an illness that they were born with. platonic would be great, but i think romantic would be absolutely adorable too (minus ortho obviously) so go wild, do whatever you want >:) if this is fine for you to write of course!! love your writing, youre my favourite blog on tumblr hehe (runs away)
thank you so much!! and ofc ofc. I'm writing this based off my own experiences with being semiverbal so if I get something wrong,,, that's on me 😔
summary: nonspeaking reader type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, che'nya, leona, azul, kalim, vil, neige, idia, ortho (platonic), malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
I think Riddle is more adaptive than others give him credit for
it's not like there's any rule about not speaking
(and if there was, he would make an exception for you. he's not completely unreasonable)
I can see him learning sign language with you
and if that's not your thing, he'll figure something else out
he's a fast learner, after all
and he wants to make you comfortable, too. not that he'd ever outright admit it...
(obvious favoritism)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Che'nya is always quick on his feet
or... on air?
anyway
that means that he isn't one to let the absence of conversation stop him from his usual mischief
and he does love charades...
it's almost like he can read your thoughts. or your... hands? expressions?
whenever someone is giving you a hard time, they miiight just end up talking back to a floating head
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona actually never really... brings it up
before he had the full story, he just figured you were shy around him
(which went straight to his head, of course)
so he was already used to it when he found out it's not something you can control
and... he treats you no different for it
he knows you're not stupid or rude just because you're not yapping all the time
and if anyone else gave you a hard time about it... they'd be answering to him
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
no worries with Azul
I mean, the guy can really do it all
sign language, pen and paper, text-to-speech, body language...
he's rather adaptable, and, trust me, being unable or unwilling to speak won't stop him
the offer to give you the voice of a beautiful singer is still on the table... but he can't blame you for not taking the deal
of course
in the meantime, you can come to him for anything and he'll help you out
on the house <3
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Kalim's heart is in the right place
is he disappointed you won't be able to talk and sing and cheer with him? a little
you're used to the disappointment, unfortunately
but he doesn't give up so easily
or... at all
no singing? he's handing you an instrument
no talking? no problem, he knows you're still listening!
no hummin, shouting, cheering? he can make enough noise for the both of you
he makes sure you're included in everything
very sweet
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil has high expectations, but he isn't unreasonable
if you can't talk, you can't talk, and that's final
that doesn't excuse you from everything else in his strict regimen, though
what may be a weakness to others is a strength to him
you can improve yourself tenfold by focusing on what you can do rather than what you can't
writing, dancing, music...
however you choose to express yourself, he's very supportive
much like Kalim, he includes you in every conversation, every decision, every yes/no question
he's pretty great
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Neige! Neige is a sweetie
I like to think of Neige as someone who's actually quite timid in person, despite his career
it's probably your quietness that draws him to you in the first place
he is so very supportive
he's the kind of introvert to suddenly become extroverted when someone needs help
"excuse me, they asked for no pickles" type of guy
he'll hold your hand through everything if you need it, and remain by your side if you don't
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho and Idia are probably the best people to have on your side
Idia just feels so much more... comfortable around you, since he struggles with speaking, himself
he'll let you use his tablet if you need it to speak
...and then he'll get you one of your own, so he doesn't have a heart attack when you accidentally switch tabs
he'll even program a custom voice or two for you
Ortho is a walking translator for you
with a database full of information on body language and expression, he can determine your emotional state in a single glance
he's happy to help in any way he can, of course!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
at some point, Malleus needs a shirt that says "#1 Prefect Defender"
you haven't said a single word to him but if anything happened to you he would curse everyone in this room and then himself
(he means well, I promise)
he's never minded, nor questioned your silence
certain fae communicate through lights or movement rather than sound, so it isn't even anything strange to him
you fit right in at Diasomnia
and you're welcome to stay here for as long as you please
(hint hint)
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#che'nya x reader#neige leblanche x reader
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Cullen Family Helping You Through a Depressive Episode [headcanons]
divider from: @saradika-graphics
🧣Carlisle
- The most logical one to be honest
- Being a doctor, he knows how important it is to keep you healthy
- He keeps you fed/watered/nourished, makes you whatever food you want and brings it to you in bed
- Carlisle always makes sure that you have a cool glass of water on your bedside table
- He also helps you stay clean; he will offer to hop in the tub or shower and bathe with you, or if you asked him to he would just wait in the bedroom getting some pajamas for you
- He’ll brush your hair for you, but he’s not a very good stylist so dont expect anything more than a simple braid (and even that would look a little wonky lol)
- Offers to lay with you, if you accept he will hold you so gently and lovingly
- Continuously praising you and telling you how strong you are and how good you have been doing
- Sometimes he will read to you while you cuddle, any book you want
- He's always there for you, he never hesitates to help you whenever you need
- Sometimes he knows when you start spiraling before you do
- He knows just the right things to do and say to help you calm down
- He’s surprisingly scared that you’re going to do something stupid if things get too bad. He hides his fear well, he doesn't want you to worry about him on top of everything else
- Always tries his best to help you and stay by your side for as long as you need
🐴Jasper
- He can feel that you’re feeling down, without you even telling him
- Never try to hide it from him, cause thats never going to work. He always knows what you’re feeling, and he is always on red alert whenever he feels literally any negative emotion from you
- Jasper is a quiet person, so he isn’t very forward or aggressive about his approach, his is more subtle but still very much effective
- He doesn’t really say a lot, it’s his actions that speak volumes.
- His love language is quality time and touch, so he is always by your side
- He is definitely the type to ask if he can touch you when you start to spiral. If you’re panicking, he asks to give you a hug; if you dont feel comfortable with that, he’ll just hold your hands
- Jasper has never been more grateful for his powers than those times when you feel so down and self hating
- It hurts him so much to feel all that pain and suffering you feel for yourself, and/or in general
- He enjoys quietly cuddling together, which always seems to improve your mood
- If things are really bad, he will hum some old country songs from his childhood, but thats very rare
- The biggest thing he does is to use his powers to help you, but he doesn’t do it to much because he doesn’t want to control your emotions, he just wants to help you know what i mean?
⚾Emmett
- My favorite himbo <3
- His biggest thing is to distract you and get your mind off of whatever is hurting you
- He will be the one to offer cuddles before you even ask, he hugs you so tight and starts talking about everything and nothing
- Emmett would be the first to help get you out of bed
- He would make a huge effort to keep you fed, he just wants to keep you healthy
- If you’re feeling up for it, he likes to take you on hikes in the woods. It’s a simple thing but it helps you focus on something else
- If you don’t want to get out of bed, he is perfectly fine just cuddling and watching something on tv
- He will whisper sweet things into your ear
- Telling you how much he loves you
- He focuses a little less on the actual situation and more on hyping you up in general
- Like he will compliment your personality and appearance. He will go over everything he loves about you and every single part of your body and tells you why he loves all of it
- He loves to cover you in kisses and doesn’t stop showering you in praises until he knows for a fact that you’re feeling better
🎹Edward
- Would either be the sweetest, most comforting man ever or a distant, super cold one
- There’s no in between, sorry about it :/
- Sometimes he would be almost suffocating with how worried and close he would be
- He wouldn’t leave your side for a second, always doing anything you need
- But sometimes it would start to make him start to spiral
- Like he would start to worry that he’s not good enough to take care of you and you dont deserve him
- After he sees how stupid that thought is, he sees how much you need him in this hard time so he steps up to the plate and starts doing much better
- He doesn’t know how to cook, but he’ll buy you any food you want
- He will gladly cuddle and praise you whenever you need
- Sometimes he will even play you some piano, to help you drift off to sleep
- He would surprise you with a song he wrote for you
- Even if he doesn’t want to force you to do anything he would persuade you to get out of bed
- Both of you sit at the piano and she will teach you a thing or two
- But usually he likes to take you on walks in the woods, his favorite thing to do is just lay in the field with you and feel the cool breeze and your warm hand in his
- It brings him peace. Being there with you and knowing that he’s helping you feel better
👑Rosalie
- She is similar to Jasper with the more subtle approach
- Rosalie understands what it’s like to have those really bad days because she’s had them
- She will help you stay clean and eat something
- Rosalie would take baths with you and brush your hair, doing it up in a beautiful style
- Usually people see her as the cold, stubborn type of girl, but she’s much more than that
- She knows what it’s like to feel that broken
- That’s why she offers her help in any way she can, anything you want, it’s yours
- It’s the little things for her
- Like she’ll make you a simple sandwich or just be cuddling with you
- A bunch of those little things just keep adding up and she doesn’t stop there
- She would bring you gifts to try to raise your spirits
- She’s a little awkward in her approach to showing you this much affection, thats why she does a bunch of little things rather than huge declarations of her love
- It’s more of an unspoken understanding about how much she loves you. But when times like these hit, she realizes that you need her reassurance and love more than ever
- She puts in a huge amount of effort into those small gifts and actions, just to make sure you know she loves you and will always be there when you need
🌖Alice
- I know that all of the Cullens know what it’s like to feel broken and hurt, its just that some know the feeling more than others
- Alice definitely knows that feeling
- Sometimes she sees that you’re going to have an episode before it even starts
- So she starts gathering all the supplies: your favorite snacks, blankets and anything else you need
- She is super worried for you but she hides it with her positivity
- She will give you makeovers and take care of you, without you even asking
- The makeovers are her favorite because not only is it a way to get your mind focused on other things but it’s an easy way to help keep up your hygiene with the showering and the self care she helps you with
- Sometimes, if things are looking really bad she will get really worried that something bad was going to happen
- Then she sees a vision of everything being okay in the future
- She very much enjoys wrapping you in tight hugs and whispering nice things to you
- Everything from “You’re so beautiful inside and out, i love you so much” to “everything is going to be okay, we’re going to get through this together. I’ve seen it”
🥀Esme
- Dare i say: she would take a much more maternal and protective approach
- I dont want to say she forces you to eat and drink but she definitely makes you stay nourished
- She is more than willing to make you anything you want, she just wants to help in any way she can to make you feel better
- She will help you bathe and cuddle all day if you need
- Cuddling is her specialty, she makes it even better because she likes to sing quietly
- She likes to hum and sing you cute little songs until you drift back to sleep
- As much as she doesn’t want to force you to do anything, she does make you take regular walks and get outside every day
- The movement and fresh air are very important
- She will make a picnic basket and take it on a small hike, just the two of you
- Esme would gladly make your favorite food (or try to) and have a cute little picnic to take your mind off of things :)
#twilight#twilight renessaince#twilight fanfiction#twilight imagine#carlisle cullen#carlisle cullen x reader#jasper hale#jasper hale x reader#emmett cullen#emmett cullen x reader#edward cullen#edward cullen x reader#rosalie hale#rosalie hale x reader#alice cullen#alice cullen x reader#esme cullen#esme cullen x reader
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LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU
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origins!logan x reader
warnings: fluff, no use of y/n
Had this thought in my head and I read a shit ton of Logan blurbs and fics but I’ve never posted anything I’ve randomly written and I’m deffo nervous but fuck it I guess
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You woke up to it snowing, just like the weatherman predicted. You needed to go into town to get groceries and other necessities, and having put it off all week proved to be a poor decision.
You reluctantly slid out of bed, from the safe, warm, space, and wrapped yourself in your cardigan before padding downstairs to the kitchen. As you filled your coffee pot with water you peered out the window to get a gist of just how bad it was snowing.
It was coming down, but not too hard and the visibility was still good. The tall pine trees that lined the edge of your property swayed with the tender swirls of snow. The sun was unsettlingly bright against the whiteness of the snow, blinding you from looking out for too long.
You poured a cup of coffee and settled at the dining room table, seated perfectly to watch the snow fall and the wildlife wake up with the sun. This life was not perfect by any means, but you knew why Logan chose to home you both out here. It was for comfort, safety, and peace knowing not many would trek through the unknown to find you.
After finishing your coffee, you made your way to the front door, slipping on your winter gear. Tall, thick boots now adorned your feet, and a fur-lined parka wrapping the last remnants of heat from your bed against you. You knew if you wanted to make it to town you would have to shovel the driveway now and leave soon before the weather got worse. With that, with your now gloved hands, you opened the front door and invited the bitter cold in. The wind whipped you in the face and it stung hard, but nothing you weren’t already used to.
You grabbed the shovel and started a path from the steps of the front deck to the truck. From there, you went up and down the driveway in straight lines, careful not to slip. You were so focused on the task at hand you could barely hear Logan calling from the front deck.
“Princess! What are you doing?” Logan calls. You turn around to see your boyfriend standing there, head cocked, arms across his chest with that ever present scowl across his face. You knew he wasn’t seriously upset with you but you never enjoyed seeing him upset. “Give me the shovel, you go inside and get warmed up.” Logan says while coming down the path you made.
You pulled the shovel out of his reach. “Not a chance Logan, I’m almost done, I can handle it.” You said, matching his stern tone.
“I don’t care if you can handle it, I will finish, now go.” He said, pointing at the house. You weren’t going to give in that easily.
“Logan, I am perfectly capable of shoveling the driveway! I used to do it when I lived with my parents, seriously I’m fine.” You appreciated Logan’s kindness to help you with everything, but sometimes you just really wanted to show him how independent you were.
Logan places his hands on your shoulders. dusting the snow off. “Darlin, I know you’re capable of shoveling the driveway. You’re capable of a lot of things, but you live with me now. I’m taking care of you now, so I do this, okay?” You felt your heart swell and you couldn’t even think of where to begin what to say. Your whole life, you were the person everyone else relied on. The feeling of gratitude and love filled your chest and soon your eyes. You stammered, not even knowing how to respond to Logan.
He didn’t even give you a chance to answer before he picked you up and slung you over his shoulders like you weighed nothing. “Logan!” you screeched, “Put me down!” You were giggling and smacking Logan’s back, but that was hardly a deterrent to him. He effortlessly carried you back into the house, placing you by the wood stove to heat you quicker. Carefully, he undressed your winter gear and clothes, laying them on the back of the couch to dry. You allowed him this moment in caring for you, because you knew deep down this was mending broken pieces of him, slowly but surely.
Before you knew it, you were down to your undies and bra, being hoisted over Logan’s shoulder again, this time being taken upstairs. “Logan! I can walk!”
“I know darlin.”
Logan set you down gently on the bed and turned to rummage through his drawers. He turned back around holding sweatpants and a sweatshirt, which were clearly his. A toothy grinned crossed his face as he walked to you. He first put the sweatpants on you, sliding them over each foot and up to your hips. Then he carefully pulled the oversized hoodie over you. Last, to finish off your look, he brought out the warmest cabin socks he could find, carefully slipping those on as well. He stepped back and gave a once over of his job. You couldn’t help but break out into laughter.
“Whats’o funny?” He scrunched his nose and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
“Nothing Logan, you’re just going overboard, I’m fine, was hardly cold and I could’ve fini-.” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as Logan cut you off with a sweet kiss.
“Like I said before, you live here now. I’m supposed to be taking care of you, so let me. You don’t need to do everything anymore. I love you.” Logan held your hands and kissed your forehead before laying you down and pulling the covers over you. “Now you lay here and warm up. I’ll finish the driveway, and cook breakfast. Then we can head to town. Okay darlin?” Logan’s hazel eyes were surrounded by those crinkles you absolutely adored, and a bright smile only reserved for you.
You nodded. “Okay, Lo…” you smiled up at him, taking in his gentle features and soaking in the love and display of affection Logan was giving you. Logan leaned down and pressed a longer kiss to your forehead before pushing some hair to the side of your face. “I love you sweetheart.” He said as he moved to the door, glancing back one more time to flash a grin before disappearing down the hallway.
You weren’t used to the one being waited on and getting to relax, but living with someone like Logan made it easy.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fluff#origins logan howlett#absxntmxnded blurbs#oh im so sorry if this is bad#xmen origins wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine#xmen#logan x reader
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Attitude- Jude Bellingham

Wearning: +18,smut, english is not my first language.
In the tranquility of your home, the atmosphere was tense. You leaned with a mischievous smile on the edge of the kitchen table, watching Jude as he cast a look full of frustration and impatience.
"Do you really think you can get away with it?" he asks, his voice still, but with a hint of defiance in his eyes.
You look at him innocently, even though inside you knew what you were doing. "I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jude," you reply, crossing your arms with a smirk that you knew would provoke him even more.
Jude steps towards you, his eyebrows slightly raised, and lets out a long sigh. "Don’t be smart," she says in a low tone, "You know perfectly well that your attitude today is... well, irritating."
You lean slightly towards him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, really? What’s so annoying?" You ask him, the gently provocative tone.
Jude shakes his head, approaching until you are face to face. "You know what I mean. You keep making jokes, ignoring me when I try to talk seriously. You’ve been all day... unbearable," he says, the tone now almost exasperated.
You smile impertinent, feeling the adrenaline go up. "Maybe I like to see you like this," he whispers with a smile, knowing that those words would trigger him.
Jude looks at you intensely for a long moment, then steps back, hands on hips as he tries to keep control. "Don’t you understand how much you’re freaking me out? I can’t do everything, you know?" he says, almost in a whisper full of restrained anger.
At the end, you give in slightly, trying to hide your smug smile. "Maybe I just wanted to get some of your attention," she murmured, looking down.
Jude sighs, shaking his head with an incredulous half smile. "You are impossible..."
With a little smirk of defiance, you approach again, continuing to tease him. "So, Jude, what do you think you’re doing?" Ask him, letting your voice sound sweet but provocative. You know you’re walking a fine line, but you can’t resist the temptation to poke him again.
He closes his eyes for a moment, as if trying to keep calm. Then he looks at you with a look of exasperation and desire. "It’s not enough, is it?" mumbles. "Do you have to keep teasing me?"
"Where else is the fun?" you answer, with a smile that you know makes him crazy.
And without giving you time to react, Jude moves in an instant. His strong hands grab you by the waist, lifting you from the ground. A little jolt escapes you, but the beat of your heart accelerates when its eyes, dark and intense, are a few centimeters from yours.
"You know I can’t stand you when you do that, right?" she whispers in a low tone, her lips close by. Before you can answer, his lips meet yours in a deep, hungry kiss that leaves you breathless.
He holds you tightly in his arms, lifting you up like a feather. Your hands cling to his back as the kiss intensifies, and you feel the energy between you two grow, as if nothing in the world could separate you.
Slowly, she comes off your lips, her breath heavy, while still looking at you with that mix of anger and desire to throw you on the couch.
You try to get up but he blocks you. "No honey I have to make you understand that this attitude is not right".
And there you were lying on the couch, screaming and moaning as Jude made you come with his clever tongue for the fourth time. "Jude please" you whispered to him no longer being able to bear this pleasure but Jude seemed not to care.
"Come on y/n I know you can take two more," she said and then focused back on your weak pussy as she licked it and sucked it like a hungry man.
You tried to pull off but Jude blocked your hips more strongly "try to pull off again and I will keep on until you pass out" threatened you and you moaned as good as he wanted.
You put your hands on her hair to pull them, making both groan as she tapped you in the pussy and made you come for the fifth time. "Fuck Jude" you murmured softly and couldn’t speak anymore while he licked your juices and kept sucking you and eating your pussy.
Jude inserted a finger in while she alternated her licking with her fingers and continued to lick even more and you screamed and jumped carrying your pussy more into his mouth. You started screaming when you felt how Jude’s tongue was working on you and you felt too much pleasure.
"You say you’re sorry for how you behaved and I stop it" she said again with her mouth glued to your pussy and you moaned while feeling the vibrations. "Sorry I didn’t mean to act bad" you said crying feeling another orgasm coming.
"I promise I’ll be a good girl" you continued. Jude pulled your mouth off your pussy and smiled as he slapped your pussy and chuckled at how wet it was. "Jude please" you said to him as he kept making you moan with slaps on your pussy.
He put his tongue back in your pussy and you squirted it on his face and he chuckled satisfied while he had his face dirty with your juices and licked them then moaning. "So sweet, darling," she said as she looked at you.
#p links#jude bellingham smut#smut imagine#real madrid#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#hey jude#jude#jude bellingham x you#judes hoe😚
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OFF-LIMITS
freakshow AU by @hootbon
Context || The Chosen one (Part 1(??))
PRETEND MARRIAGE FIC LETS GO!! Off-limits is a non-canon sort of continuation for The Chosen One!! Also Just putting it here: Showtime is not canon in freakshow AU!! I'm just.. being indulgent-👉👈
Word count: 7750
The pacing is a little off but I'll let you be the judge...OK ENJOY BYE HUGS AND KISSES!! NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MEN!! also if Hoot's reading this I'm so sorry.
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There were many benefits to being the ringleader's favourite.
One of them is being proposed to, apparently.
She didn't think her body still had the capability to choke, but apparently it was all too possible. She gagged, punching her fist to her chest on the flavourly assault on her throat, hacking wheezing as the grip on the tea table tightened.
Pomni winced, eyes twitching and swallowing before sitting back down with a not-so-casual tone in her voice. She faked a laugh “Haha… what-”
“ I'm marrying you."
The man sat on the opposite side of the tea table, classy, with full manners. the way his hands were politely on the table, proper yet focused… Caine so specifically wanted the meeting in Pomni’s room... She was perfect for the setting. A doll playing tea party. Classic. Simple.
“ A-And what does-”
“ It means my brother can no longer claim ownership over you."
Pomni inhaled and stirred the tea in her hands. She fawned a fake sympathy towards his perspective humming along as if she understood his reasonings…but she choked, this time mentally.
Were they seriously still on that dumb brother’s quarrel? Ownership? She didn't think Able would want to do anything with her after their last meeting but it seems the tension she's been feeling between the both of them has been growing… Caine’s brother has been nicer to her lately, she assumes, still in the effort for him to be in her good graces… but she didn't think it would really lead to anything, nor would she let it.
“... Ha." Was all that left her. Pomni doesn't often know what to say in tense situations. She lost herself in her thoughts, cupping her tea in both hands, nervous and tense. Of course, she definitely doesn't want to do this. She was more so thinking about a way to decline him rather than a yes or a no.
Uhh… hmm..
“ You would still be performing, but this also means you get to sleep in the old manor. Or so I think that's what husbands do… unless my sources are wrong which—“
Pomni could spit out her entire drink! That changes everything! “ YES-" she slammed her hands on the table.
Caine wasn't startled, but rather, just looked at her, raising a brow at the rude interruption. he'd look down, seeing that pomni just spilled tea over herself and the table… what manners.
“ Uhh-... Yes- that- that is what husbands do, yes… “ she sat back down, her voice awkwardly lowering to a timid whimper.
The gentleman barely looked at her, rather levitated a napkin to wipe the table. It was a cruel silence, almost like he dared her to explain such rude behavior.
Pomni cleared her throat “ sorry, I-I would uh… love to be married- to-- You… ?” Is that how one says yes to a proposal?
“ Ha. It humours me how you think you have a choice in the matter. “ Caine snapped his fingers, and the napkin disappeared. If he were to be perfectly honest, he saw no qualms in letting Pomni live in the manor. He would relish in the thought of her walking past his brother knowing she was officially unattainable. A sort of trophy of sorts. A taunt mayhaps. A jest. A silly funny mockery.
Meanwhile Pomni’s brain was completely somewhere else…
To have access to the circus on the regular while having more time in the manor… no more stupid games necessary, no more-- having to kiss up and hold the balance towards both brothers! This was a win! Of course this isn't a ticket out of the circus, but she's going somewhere, and it's refreshing compared to the circles she's been running for the past few months.
Pomni looked up to see Caine, sitting across her, this time with a hand extended to shake.
As soon as she shook his hand, a ring formed around her finger, from thin air, seemingly out of nowhere.
“To show that you're reserved."
Pomni looked at her finger, and-- honestly the way he said that made her skin crawl. Caine always saw Pomni and the others as lesser than him. And the way he proposed was no different from a person booking a seat at a restaurant.
The deal was struck and Caine wasted no time to get up and leave the room. A small good bye greeting, closing the door behind him, but otherwise his business there was done.
Pomni was still sitting on the tea table, thinking to herself, staring at the ring on her finger. It was like it was part of her body. She would try to pull it off but to no avail, no budging or anything.
She grit her teeth… great.
The two went their own separate ways thinking nothing and everything about the transaction… though it must have been quite the sight to see Caine leave the room, and have Pomni follow a few moments later, now with a ring on her finger.
“ No f@#$ing way.” Jax thought, seeing the sight.
She didn't know what she was expecting, but it was certainly a Caine wedding.
The ceremony itself? she could barely remember any of it. Rather, small clouds of memories that were important.
The way she walked down the aisle so stiffly, like a gun was pointed at her head. The way Caine placed a ring on her finger, Kaufmo’s death gurgles as he officiated their wedding…
There were small comforts. She didn't actually think of it as anything special— more just a necessity rather than an actual wedding, but some of her friends tried to make it special for her. Ragatha was sitting front row in support not for the union but for Pomni herself– Kinger hallucinating, holding her hand in a father daughter dance. And Gangle making the the effort of getting her a wedding gift– or what she could give anyway…which was a drawing of her in her wedding dress.
Caine wasn't even present in the after party. He just placed the setting and left the guests to their own devices. That was honestly a relief for Pomni for a short while, to be able to hang out with the closest things she had to “friends”. She had the lone memory of Ragatha and Kinger giving her a drink, and asking her how she was doing.
They've both been well aware of her motives by now. Exit, exit, exit. At this point they were convinced that was her form of insanity. But they supposed that little bit of hope was keeping her going.
Kinger turned Ragatha then back to Pomni. “ We hope you know what you're doing.”
“ I never said I did…” the bride said, her pitch getting timidly higher. “ But– it's a direction! I don't have a lot of expectations either, but…hey, I think I'd regret it if I didn't take the chance. ” She looked back up at them, embarrassed at her short rambling. “ Oh! I hope– you two are holding up relatively okay tonight?”
Ragatha chortled.
Kinger answered “ We haven't been okay for years, Pomni.”
“ Y-Yeah…I… I should have seen that coming, yeah…”
Suddenly, a slow song came on the reception.
Most of them weren't fond at the idea of a slow dance at first, but a tap from Ragatha to a ribbony friend (and a sister begging the other) later, people were on the dancefloor.
Ragatha danced with Gangle, then exchanging partners from her to Kinger. The Gangle AI found it funny to force Kaufmo and his rabbit friend in a dance. The night was going off with a hitch.
Ragatha swayed back to exchange partners from Kinger to Gangle, and the magician was off on his lonesome again. He took no offence to this, but standing in the middle of the dancefloor on his own, to a song that used to be considered romantic, he couldn't help but freeze.
He stared at one of the guests in the distance, the one who decided to sit out the activity. The one in the dark staring daggers at him as they dawned the very torso that used to bring him warmth.
Maybe…
… If she was still in there…
He could ask if—
Before Kinger could take one step further, a hand took his own, the hand of a very worried bride clearing her throat and walking him back into the dancefloor. “ Kinger, this sounds like a good song!” Pomni laughed nervously, heels clacking as she pulled him gently but insistently.
Kinger blinked, and turned to her. “...Oh! Yeah! It is!” And just like that, the old man was brought back to the dance floor.
It was almost like the poor were invited to their first celebration. Some were laughing, and there were definitely moments of teasing and natural play, but at the end of the day they knew they would be hungry again. It was an inevitability. Some chose to spend it to the fullest, some chose to wallow, some chose to make the best out of it.
Pomni struggled to keep up with the magician’s stature, but they figured it out after their earlier father daughter dance. She would be pleased to see that He was almost experienced with the way he moved.
Her dance partner wasn't all that mentally present, but she could see that he was calm. The way he listened to the music and closed his eyes was disassociated. But it was a look of contentment.
His grip was so sure yet gentle around Pomni. Holding her like it was the last dance he would ever have with someone.
She could only imagine what he was picturing in that brain of his. She dared not interrupt.
“ I've danced with someone before... I think.”
Pomni looked up at him. “ What do you mean?”
“ I don't know who that person was, but I remember feeling very nice when I was with her.”
Pomni sucked air through her teeth. She's heard… read… stories from Ragatha. Although it wasn't the most in detail, she figured out the jist just from hush-hush language she used.
She had a feeling she knew exactly what was going on. But it wasn't her business to correct him.
“ She must have been a great person.” Pomni said.
For the first time Kinger didn't feel like wood. His eyes relaxed just from that simple validation, a moment of blissful unawareness of where he was or who he was. Love spread from his heart, to his chest, to his finger tips, to the… little…friend? Yes, friend… that he was dancing with.
Pomni was well aware that she wasn't the person he was seeing at that moment. He had no thoughts, but the feeling of a powerful comfort took over him, he didn't care to take back anything else. Not his memories, not his sanity, not his mind. Like holding the hand that he once kissed. Spinning her, laughing with her, holding her close when the clock struck a romantic midnight.
He could feel a tear escape his eye.
“What about you, Pomni?” Kinger opened his eyes and suddenly realised that his hands were holding at nothing. Not a person, not anything. Kinger blinked and looked around, that blissful feeling suddenly becoming fleeting.
He was by himself on the dancefloor again
“... Pomni?”
Pomni would catch herself tripping forward. What was once the tiles that was the dance floor was now wooden, and unfamiliar. “Wh- wha- where…?”
In the blink of an eye Pomni was somewhere else. For a moment she was confused before turning around and seeing her new found husband, back turned to her, sitting, looking down from the balcony they were at.
“ Awfully rude of you to dance with someone more than your own husband.” He didn't even bother to turn to her. He was still looking down, hands on his would-be chin, sitting on a long chair made of cushion and fine wood.
“ I-I was just dancing with—”
Pomni was cut off by Caine slowly patting a space on the seat beside him. The cushion, comfortable, yet sturdy. Pomni gulped before approaching.
When she joined him she could see the view from above…it was an indoor balcony built for the rich to watch the poor.
From up high, Pomni could see the other performers, and quickly she scanned the dance floor to see Kinger, shaken, looking around and interrupting Ragatha’s dance in worry for where she went.
Pomni bit her lip and sunk down. Guilt over took her. She stood on her tiptoes, hands on the wooden railing and waved to be seen, to let them know that at least she's safe, and praying that they understood that she didn't leave them but-
Caine’s hand grabbed her arm. “ No, no. Let them figure it out.”
She froze from his touch. Caine guided her hand to make her sit down and she sunk in the seat right beside him. She looked down to read the others distress and felt immense relief when she made brief eye contact with Ragatha which then the assistant turned back to kinger, calming him down without making it obvious she's seen them.
Pomni sighed.
On her way to lean back on the chair, she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder, then pulling her to her side.
She stared at it for a moment, the arm. her body stiffened at the all too familiar touch, before looking forward, sweating, in denial at the situation.
Caine crossed his legs, an ankle on the other knee, still looking on at the view in front of them. His posture was far from hers. Swaying his crossed legs, relaxed, and confident. for a moment he looked at her and back down at the party.
Amazing reception as always, Caine. You've really outdone yourself with this one.
They stayed there in silence for a couple of moments. Caine was all too comfortable and Pomni had nothing to say to him. The groom would say that his bride looked beautiful that night, but in the most objectifying way possible. She was an accessory. She always was. Nothing different from a beautiful pearl necklace.
Maybe it was the way he was gripping her, but Pomni couldn't breathe with all the tension in the air. She let out a shaky breath, a face comparable to a cat hypervigilant towards a cucumber. Sometimes she forgets how affectionate Caine can get with her physically, and every time she just accepts it. Not like she can do anything about it really.
“ Wine, boss!” A servant walked into the balcony area. A voice so signature, and unmistakable Pomni didn't need to turn around. Caine and his bubble were inseparable except for the moments when they weren't. If she hadn't known any better she—
Pomni came back to reality.
…Wine?
“ Thank you, Bubble.”
Pop!
Caine didn't even have to lift a finger, the wine bottle was already levitating towards him as well as a wine glass, ready to pour.
“ Wine???” Pomni flinched, turning her whole body towards the bottle.
Caine blinked. “ Oh! How could I forget, you've never had this…” He thought to himself.
He would never let the circus members have wine for multiple reasons. The poor PG rating would go down if their mouths were without filter. And also he didn't need to have a bunch of wild animals run a muc and destroy the circus tent. But right then, he duplicated the wine glasses into two, pouring one for himself and for his bride.
“ Consider it a reward for being so attentive today.”
Pomni got her glass, and held it in both hands. God damn. She hasn't had alcohol in so long.
It was as plastic as expected but wine wasn't there for the texture. She was just about ready to drink the night away. Pomni tried to play it with manners but admittedly took longer sips than what she could usually handle.
They both continued the night in silence
and Pomni waited…
And waited…
And waited…
And…
Motherfucker, this isn't doing anything to her!
The visible frustration was clear and Caine couldn't help but let out quiet snickering.
“ Huh—!?”
Caine snickered again, barely audible, but less is more. Pomni couldn't help but feel embarrassed. There he is again! Playing with her like always! “ You didn't actually think I would let it affect you, did you?”
“ No—! I… I didn't even think that you could--! I..!” The woman gripped the wine glass. “ ugh! ”Had it been for the fact that she had to watch herself around Caine, it would have been in pieces by now!
Caine would continue to laugh, not seeing any of the woman’s frustration as a threat. It would take a great deal to scare Caine. One could take a knife to his throat and he wouldn't take it seriously. Pomni wasn't even sure if fear was programmed in his AI.
But Pomni stared at the floor, eyes scribbled, forcing herself into disassociation to stop herself from doing something she’ll regret, and suppressing any more anger.
She hated him. She hated where she was. She hated so much of this. She had a long fucking day and she really didn't need this. She couldn't cry, she couldn't scream. She felt the strongest urge to have a tantrum in her room but that wasn't possible! She just can't win in this shit hole!
Ugh! God DAMN IT!
So much screaming went through her head, but it was nothing but silence on the outside. She was just about ready to be completely immobile for the night. Mentally skip pass the rest of the day, she could just explode and she would be okay with it.
Caine rolled his eyes and took a sip from his glass, but Pomni’s overall energy was too loud to ignore. He sighed.
The groom lifted her head up by poking a finger on her forehead, and forcing her to look up at him. “ As much as how beautiful you are pouting, it's really ruining my night.”
Silence.
“ Pomni, do you want to be intoxicated?”
Silence again.
…Caine patted her face.
“ Huh? What? Where am I?”
“ I'm noticing your desire to be intoxicated. Do you want to be drunk?”
Pomni squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows, looking at him in question. Suspicious. “ What's in it for—”
“ I will give you the ability to be intoxicated if you stop seething. I will not have this attitude on my wedding night.” Caine said, grumbling, taking another sip at his glass. “ So I ask you one last time, would you like to be-”
“ YES!” pomni cried!
Caine squinted his eyes at that reply, once again unamused by Pomni’s rude interruption. But this time she wasn't apologetic at all, rather grabbing at his collar desperately.
she continued. “ God, yes, please—”
Oh he really shouldn't be rewarding this behaviour.
And just like that, Pomni's glass was filled once again. It didn't take her long to start sipping but their mini deal came with boundaries:
(1)She is to take her time and behave while drinking.
(2)Caine has the ability to make her sober again at the snap of a finger.
(3) She may only have one glass of wine.
That was it. Truth be told, I didn't care for anything else. If she gets aggressive he could easily subdue her. If she hurt herself, as long as her dress wasn't ruined he was fine.
At first it felt like nothing. Pomni was just calm, her speech becoming slightly slurred, but otherwise it was just Pomni. She looked light weight and she was light weight.
Ah, that's more like it. Quiet.
He wrapped his arm around her again, and this time Pomni just accepted her fate. She leaned into his touch, thinking of him as nowhere different from a pillow.
Pomni’s vision could go blurry with how little attention she was paying at that moment. But she couldn't help but wonder. The blinding lights, the food, nice decor… and asked: “ Why all the effort?”
“ I don't say no to a celebration to my name! and yours I guess.” Caine mumbled that last part in the middle of a sip. “… and if my brother asks one of you, you have the right to say that our wedding was official.”
“ God, you two are such brothers….” Pomni muttered under her breath.
“ Only by code.”
The bride put a palm on her face, muffling her words. “ No… the fighting. The quaralling, the one upping… you act like little boys.”
“ …Excuse me?”
“ I didn't even think marriage can be official in the digital realm… you make the rules. Might as well make wedding certificates and it would be just as official.” Pomni chuckled. “ But you married me cuz you wanted to make your brother jealous.”
… He didn't have the energy to reply to such an immature, untrue, false, made up, retort. He just rolled his eyes. He had too much self respect to entertain such false assumptions. “ Ugh…” his face grew in disgust. Pomni without filter is worse that he thought. At this point he'd prefer if she got aggressive instead.
Time passed. Pomni wasn't very pretty when she was drunk. She'd have the ugliest laugh, and the crudest things to giggle at, though, the last one was a little amusing. But Caine was just waiting for til the moment the glass was empty so he could— pop! Snap her back to soberity.
But something intrigued him.
She started talking about his brother.
Her filter became less and less. And Caine perked up when she did. She talked badly about Able’s taste in music and art, how annoying it was whenever he visited the circus, how much she despised his very existence…
…Caine filled her glass again.
“ —a-and that nagging voice! ‘That sounds wonderful, sweetie!’ ‘ Oh, Pomni, you're so smart!’ God!”
Caine chuckled, and started leaning closer towards Pomni to hear her better.
Pomni continued,“ Oh he's so pretentious! And so-- so—”
“ Condescending?”
“ Yes! C-Condescending, patronizing, I— what am I? Nine??!”
Caine laughed! Oh hearing slander about his brother was music to his ears! And to hear it from someone to passionately-- he can't get enough! This was making his night!
“ S-say… was my glass always so full?” Pomni turned to her wine glass. She could have sworn she's been drinking for an hour at this point… she doesn't remember refilling it!
“ Hm? Oh, no no, digital hellucinations, my dear. Do carry on with what you were saying.” Caine pushed her wine glass closer to her chest, not bringing much attention to it.
“ Oh. Right. As I was saying…”
Oh Caine was having the time of his life. Smug chuckling left his teeth, absolutely enraptured by Pomni’s unfiltered bad mouthing. Shes been putting into words feelings he held for far too long. Ahh, he could stay there for hours.
“ I mean— at least you don't even-- try to hide that you don't like me. You don't act like friends with any of us.”
Caine could feel himself blush, playfully swiping his wrist at her. “ Oh you're too much.” She was praising him now? Why, Christmas came early! How can he not enable this behaviour? “ Keep going.”
The trauma bonding would further on, but at some point Pomni tuckered herself out. The alcohol was getting her, she's been talking long enough, she's been full of hate enough today. Pomni leaned her head back on the chair to doze off, before Caine shook her awake.
“ Hey!” He grabbed her face, mushing both her cheeks. “ Awaken! Tonight hasn't ended yet. We have yet to full-fill the husband/wife quota.”
“ Mmm…you're already my husband, remember? Kaufmo said so at the..the..” Pomni yawned. “Wedding.. ceremony…”
Caine groaned!
Snap!
“ Oh- damn it!”
And just like that all alcohol was erased from Pomni’s system. He also fully woke her up. Pomni can never truly escape that day. She groaned into her hands as she felt energy return to her body.
“ Come, come.” Caine got up and fixed his suit. “ Let's at least greet the guests off. Then you'll sleep at the manor.”
“ On my way…”
Alcohol truly was a temporary darling. Just when she felt her sorrows were drowned away, she came back into reality— at an even worse state.
The two teleported back downstairs to end the party. Caine announced it's end and Pomni was saying goodbye to her friends. She greeted Kinger goodnight, waved Ragatha goodbye while she was busy with (one of) the twins. Jax’s goodbye was nothing but mockery, gesturing to her like she's some little princess in her wedding dress, which Pomni froze in embarrassment. Zooble wasn't even there when she came downstairs…for the better maybe. They always made her skin crawl.
The guests were away and the two were alone once again. At the snap of a finger, Caine fixed the entire reception. Any mess, streamers, decoration, gone, as if there never was a party to begin with.
Caine fixed his coat and arranged his gloves, dusting off all the mess that came with being in the vicinity of the others. Meanwhile, Pomni was thinking to herself— something she never thought to question…
“ Hey, Caine…” she looked up at him. “ When you said ‘sleep at the manor’, what —”
And swoop! Next think she knew he swept her off her feet in the traditional bridal style position, and before she could react—snap! They were teleported somewhere else! A bedroom that was nowhere like the others.
“UH—” Before she could say anything, Caine put his arms out straight and dumped her on to the bed. Man. What a romantic guy.
Oof Pomni frowned when she was dropped head-first, so carelessly and aggressively on the cushions… she groaned in misery— before remembering where she was.
She quickly got her head up and looked around! She was wrong! This place was familiar!
“ Huh!?”
“ My bedroom.” Caine said so passively. “ Well technically now it's yours as well, but. It's mine.” It looked like his mind was occupied with something else, he was staring forward but he was not at the present moment. She knew that look, he was searching something in his database.
“ When was this??”
“ Since I told my brother you were moving in.”
“ Why??”
“ I'm ignoring you if you keep asking questions.’
Pomni looked around… this was like the guest room they made for the performers but grander. The bed was even a little higher— God forbid she falls off in her sleep.
Caine fits right in the room’s aesthetic, Pomni was completely out of place. The room’s palette was red and black, with linings of gold here and there… Caine really hadn't bothered to make it accommodating for her. She just sat there in silence awkwardly like she was just invited to a friend’s house.
Man…can she even sleep in this? She looked down on the sheets: they were red, The pillows as well. the wood was furnished black and if she looked up, she'd see a chandelier at the ceiling.
She shivered… Her old bedroom was weird, but she's spent just enough time in it to grow comfortable. at least she fit in its overall aesthetic. But she doesn't think she could say the same for this one. This whole room screamed Caine.
“ Ah. Here it is. ‘How newlyweds spend their wedding night’.” Caine said, and continued to look forward.
“ What…N...No. Caine, don't read that.” Caine really…really…did n o t need to know about human customs. She's going to die from how awkward this was about to be..
The AI muttered what he was reading, “ ‘ Spend time together, Newlyweds often feel drained after a day of celebration …’ skip.”
“ Caine.” Pomni winced. “ Caine, did you not do research beforehand-”
“ ‘ When both couples lay in bed together it's important to have both parties feel safe in each other's presence—’ ickk.. skip. Are there any alternatives?”
“ Caine, I'm going to throw up.”
“ ‘According to a new survey with over 350 recently-married couples, nearly 40 percent of newlyweds had—’...”
Caine squinted in disgust.
“ I'm not reading that.”
Pomni at this point just gave up and put her head on the pillow.
“ Seeing as none of this is applicable to us, let's just skip this step of the consummation. As much as it pains me not to properly follow the process. I'll just leave you here and you can sit out the night. Good?”
“ I-”
“ Wonderful.” Caine snapped his fingers and the two were back in their usual outfits. He was back in his ringmaster clothes and Pomni was in her sleeping wear. And by sleeping wear, it means her usual tutu. Because she does not have sleeping wear.
Caine fixed himself up and pulled a blanket up on Pomni’s body. That's good enough. Husband's say goodnight to their wives if he was correct?
Caine scanned his database again.
Yeah, he was correct.
“ Goodnight, dear.”
“ Ahh…” This was weird. “ G-Good.. Goodnight.”
And just like that, Pomni was off to sleep. Meanwhile, Caine teleported out of his room into another place at the Manor. He dusted his hands off and was already somewhere else mentally. he had other matters to attend to, another show to organize. He's spoiled himself enough with a night celebrating his name, now it was back to work. How Caine liked to work.
Morning followed and Pomni was snapped awake with a booming greeting “ Good morning, dear.”
Pomni screamed.
Her heart would beat out of her chest from the surprise-- forcing her up from her fight or flight
She flinched away at the sight of Caine's face inches away from hers. They sat there in silence for a moment… Pomni gulped, before looking pass him and seeing where she was then remembering the night before.
“Wh…” the red bed, the chandelier… “Oh.” Pomni look at her hand, the left, and saw the ring that stubbornly stuck to her finger. but before she could say anything more, the blanket was thrown off of her, a snap, and the next thing she knew she was sat on the vanity table.
Oh god-- everything was going so fast… Caine snapped his fingers again and her grooming mannequins teleported in. “ I'll leave you here to get ready. I must awaken everyone else for role call. There should be a door to the circus down the hall! Be there.”
Pomni forced a smile and two thumbs ups, then, Caine was off.
She looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't considered how little privacy she had now that her and Caine shared the same bedroom. Will he be doing this every morning? God, not only is it an incredibly inconvenient start of her day, it's also like having the world's most dangerous alarm clock.
Pomni put a hand through her face and grumbled, keeping herself awake— less so in the physical sense more in the emotional motivation sense. And before she knew it, the mannequins brushed her hair and did their work.
The next few days were something she had to get used to. Every morning Pomni would be greeted by a routine wake up, and every night she would be dumped back into bed, greeted goodnight, and Caine immediately leaving a second later. “Goodmorning, dear.”, “goodnight, dear.” again and again. Caine really was committed to the husband role-- though it wasn't far for AI to follow certain routines and patterns after acquiring a new set of data.
Oh how could she forget:
Able spent more time in the Manor than Caine did. She would often see him around the house minding his own business, doing his own half of work. He never tried to make small talk anymore which was a stark contrast to his overly friendly persona towards her before she got married. The sounds of violins would go quiet when she walked in the room. It was as if he could just walk pass her with how invisible she was to him. He didn't have lips but she felt that if he did, it would turn into a scowl.
Once, she remembered walking pass him in the hallway, that time she tried to start conversation and—
“ Able?”
“ Don't talk to me.” With out even turning around, his heels were already clacking away, posture more spiteful than his usual.
It was odd but Pomni rolled her eyes.
Good riddance.
During her stay though she never stopped looking for an exit. Being in the brothers’ home was a system all in itself. Ever since she moved in, Caine apparently was there more often. This made it hard to navigate but memorizing both the brother’s schedules didn't take long. Being ai they were very systematic, consistent, as long as there were no human interruption nothing was stopping them from following the same routine.
To be in close vascity between Caine and Able meant no privacy. Pomni snuck around to investigate, less she’d be caught and teleported back. She's tried most of everything, but the brothers’ Manor was bigger and more…liminal, than she thought.
For every one hallway it felt like there were 50 more. Door after door, an endless maze of nothing but unfinished projects and code. The Manor was a testing facility… a place where the brothers tested out code and concepts before applying them at the circus… there has to be something.
At some points she was so deep into it she didn't think either of the brother's could hear her. She didn't know if anyone could hear her. She could scream or laugh as much as her manic mind can get, and no one could. It was comforting in a way to finally be left alone, but dread came with it.
The dread or never making it back home. The dread of never leaving this torturous realm.
Things started to get blurry.
The wallpaper was repeating. Doors, every single one looked the same. She didn't know if one door was the other. She turned back and— did the lay out change?? The wallpaper was all so fancy and clean but headachingly repetative. The world was spinning. Her head had a pulse. Her heart was wriggling in her chest. It felt like someone reached inside her back and pulled her spine out.
She opened a door,
And another
And another
And another.
Random generations, code and miscalculations, projects abandoned and left to dust, circus acts left to die. To die. To die. To die. She envied it. She envied the ability to die.
She got so dizzy. So frustrated, but there was nothing to break, nothing to focus on. she was on autopilot. With how she's been opening doors for the past few hours, she didn't even care to find an exit anymore. Simply open doors. Wander around. If you find an exit on the way, congratulations. But otherwise, there was nothing anymore.
One hallway had a mirror and all she could do was stare with broken eyes. What she saw, she couldn't care less about anymore…who was that she was looking at? Where was she? Who was she? How did she get here? What was her name again?
She kept staring and her eyes wandered to her hands. Amongst all the dissociation was a pit of anger in her throat. She looked at her finger. The ring. And all she saw was the very thing keeping her trapped there. The cruelest person— the cruelest thing, in the world.
Pomni started to pull at the ring.
She hated him. She hated him so much. She hated how much he toyed with her. She didn't understand how such fucked up things could even happen to a block of code, she didn't know what peice of shit of a person would ever create him. If god can be proven then the devil can be too. And he was living proof of that. The entire circus was proof of that.
Pomni grunted a tearful cry, desperately aching for the ring to come off, but it wouldn't budge. If there was pain, she couldn't feel it. She would bleed if it meant having to take it off. Pain was the last thing on her mind at that moment, just the desperate need for something, anything to go her way. Out of anything in this god forsaken realm, she wanted freedom from something, living breathing proof that there was hope in leaving, that she had a semblance of control in this hell.
“ God DAMN IT!!” The pain on her fingers were apparent, yet she hasn't processed any bit of it. “ I hate you! ” She sucked air to her teeth as tears formed in her eyes. She saw no use in keeping anything in anymore.
Tears streamed down her face with no means of stopping. Pomni, with bruises and scratches on her ring finger, collapsed with her knees on the floor, bent down, letting her tears be absorbed by the carpet. Her whimpering, cries, tears she hadn't let out in ages. She soon let her forehead touch the floor, complete and utter loss of hope and motivation.
And for a few moments she just sat there… adjusting by sitting on the floor, leaning her back on the wall, tears streamed empty emotions. Crying didn't help. Running didn't help. Screaming didn't help. And so she sat there. Like a puppet left to sit until their next performance.
That's all she was. And that's all she'll ever be.
Was she any different in the real world? She didn't care anymore.
Pomni let out her last hiccups. The floor wasn't comfortable at all…The doll stood up, body heavy. Her steps towards any door were heavy and unmotivated. The only sound echoing through the halls were the sound of her muffle heels, clacking above the carpet.
She could use some sleep.
After a long day of organising and work, Caine reached into his coat for his pocket watch. It was about time where the performers would be off to bed, and he didn't need to tell them that. This is one of the rare times of the day where he leaves them to their own. He, however, doesn't need sleep. Caine AI knows no tire. He turned his heel, ready to do more work before remembering— ah. His wife. That part of the daily routine.
See, for the past few days he's been having the formula to wake Pomni up in the morning, and putting her to bed at night, leaving seconds after. Always with his “goodnight, dear” and “good morning, dear”s that one. That's right. He was officially given the trait husband, and-- he's heard that that's what husband's do. And so he Incorporated it in his system.
Of course, even after their wedding night he never put in the effort to even think about laying in the same bed with her. First of all, he has no use for sleep. Second of all, that would be a complete waste of time and resources—He can do work simply standing up and staring into oblivion, but there is only so much he can do. Third of all, it was terribly boring. Fourth of all, he can touch Pomni but laying in the same bed for a prolonged period of time-- no amount of snaps would rid him of all her filth. And fifth—
The list can go on and on, and yet… something ached him to his core. It's been bothering him since the wedding night actually. The very act of not spending the night with her as husband and wife, that skipped a step in the process. And that bothered him more than any boundary he has up. It was part of a system, and he didn't officialize it because he wasn't feeling it that day? Caine AI, were you coded in a barn? Frankly, he was disappointed in himself for letting his ego— perfectionism get the better of him. Was he even truly husband without that final step? He felt like a fraud.
That whole thought process took place in the matter of .0001 seconds. And he was off.
He teleported to The Manor on his way to atleast clean up the bedroom first. But just when he made his way up the stairs, he turned, noticing the clearly dishevelled and previously distressed looking Pomni coming out of one of the hallways.
He squinted and scanned her.
Dirty clothes, eye bags, wet and sore eyes, sniffling, head low…
Oh. She had been crying.
He rolled his eyes. As long as she wasn't doing it on stage he didn't care. And frankly he didn't want to deal with it.
He cleared his throat to let her know that he was present, in a way, also telling her to gather herself.
“ Oh…” But Pomni didn't budge. She wasn't as disassociated as earlier but still had little energy to be scared at that moment. “ Hey, Caine. I’ll get upstairs soon, I just need a minute to—”
He didn't have time for this.
Snap!
The usual routine continued. He teleported her to their room, dumped her to bed and sent Pomni face down on the cushion. She doesn't think she would ever get used to that. She put her head up groggily, still too tired to even really complain, before crawling to her usual side of the bed, the right side. She let out a few sniffles of misery. But before she could tuck herself in, she realised that Caine hadn't greeted her goodnight. Or— hasn't even teleported away yet, actually…
She turned to Caine in the bedroom and would notice that he was looking at himself in the mirror. He was snapping his fingers, switching through different kinds of sleeping wear— what??
She squinted in confusion. Caine usually wouldn't stick around for any longer than a few seconds.
“ Wh…what are you doing…” Pomni said, voice clearly still sore for all her time crying.
Caine finally found pajamas that fit him and fixed himself in the mirror. “ I'm spending my time here tonight.”
“ …Why…?”
“ It doesn't concern you.” he turned to her, and floated his way to the bed, before noticing what she was wearing. She was still wearing her uniform! Is that what she was sleeping in the whole time? Honestly he hadn't cared, and he wouldn't care had it been for the fact that he was joining her tonight. He was in classy night wear while she wore her tutu. That simply isn't uniform.
A snap of a finger, and Pomni was wearing a nightgown that matched his shirt and pants. With bags under her eyes, she looked down. She didn't have the energy to comment on it as anything special. It was nice to be comfortable for once. But there was nothing more she can say about it.
“ There we go.” Caine said. “Goodnight, dear.”
“ …Goodnight.”
He put himself under the covers, but Pomni was still staring off. Someone who cared for Pomni would ask her how she was feeling, but they were not in the room at that moment.
Pomni wasn't feeling good. She was feeling terrible. If this was any other day, she would be terrified to be sleeping next to Caine. But the fact that she doesn't feel anything strong…
She didn't have a good day… entirely honestly, she was hoping to cry herself to sleep that night. It wouldn't be her first, and it wouldn't be her last. But with the devil beside her, he had no choice but keep herself together.
Her breath was shaken. But she laid down for sleep.
A few hours passed. It felt like the longest night the two would ever spend.
Pomni didn't know if it was her nerves or the room temperature, but she buried herself in her blanket. She could close her eyes all she wanted but no amount of pretend could distract her from all the voices in her head. She wasn't hallucinating, it wasn't anything. Rather the voices were more of doubt, insecurity, and fear. It would come often, but that night was especially loud. Terribly so.
Caine on the other hand was staring at the ceiling. Hands on his chest. He's been staring in silence for hours at this point —and he had the artificial patience to go on for longer—but he found this activity inconvenient. And even worse so when he could hear his wife sniffling right beside him.
Pomni finally started shaking under the covers. Hands shielding her head-- her knees were on to her chest with how curled up she was. It hurt to be quieter than she was already being. The voices got to her and all she could do was cry at that point.
Neither of the couple could get themselves to sleep.
Caine could only roll his eyes. While he stared at the ceiling, Pomni was faced to her side, away from him, curled up cold and unrested. For a moment she looked at the hands shielding her, and the representation of her entrapment looked back. With several bruises and scratches around it, her finger still dawned the very ring that put her there.
The memory of Caine in the wedding ceremony played back-- the very moment he put the ring on her at the altar. That was the moment that sealed her fate. She wished she could take it back. The image felt like dying a hundred times over.
Caine wasn't stupid. Although he knew little understanding of the human condition his processors picked up on certain symptoms and body language. He would usually ignore them as they were a waste of energy, but he had nothing else to process other than the ceiling he'd been staring at for the past few hours.
He knew Pomni wasn't well. What for? He didn't care. All that he knew was that she was upset, and it wasn't worth his time. It wasn't anything that he hasn't already heard a hundred times from the other performers. She was going to cry again and again anyway. What was the use?
Her hiccups and sniffling were tiny compared to the rest of the room. And yet no one was willing to hear her, listen to her. Perhaps that was all she wanted. If she had someone to be there to trust-- maybe this would have been bearable. Maybe in a different timeline she would still have the strength to go on for just another day. But that wasn't realistic. Not in the digital realm. She could scream all she wanted and no one would bat an eye.
This wasn't the first time she cried tears this painful. And it certainly will not be the last.
#The amazing digital circus#freakshow au#pomni#caine#The amazing digital circus pomni#The amazing digital circus caine#tadc pomni#tadc caine#caine x pomni#pomni x caine#showtime#showtime shipping#tadc#fic#writing
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hi slaterrr <3 i love ur works, ur talented bb, i had a thought or two about dejun if ur interested
xiaojun who’s a loser and keeps to himself mostly, nerdy nd gets picked on, but jerks off to your pics when he’s alone, stealing ur sweatshirt that u left in class and stroking himself in his room to the scent of u… stuff like that :3 i just know he’ll be giddy when he gets his hands on u too
(ps, do u do emoji anons? if so, could i be 🩰 anon? if not, that’s perfectly fine too xx)
AHHH hii anon, im so happy u like my works this ask means sm to me tyyyy 🥲💘
also i have been thinking abt doing emoji anons so congrats !!! ur the first one hehe 🩰
this one turned out a little longer than usual but i js had too much fun with this ask LOL i love loser dejun



ⓘ nerd!xiaojun x reader
perversion, mating press, unprotected sex, degradation (m. receiving)
wc 1.6k
you'd always see loser!xiaojun near your locker, peeking over his textbooks as he would frantically push his glasses up and look away nervously when you walked by.
he wasn't the loud or outgoing type, instead, he liked to watch from a distance. he'd savor the moment, admiring how effortlessly beautiful you were before the inevitable happened. before the same group of jocks would come by and knock his belongings out of his hands, yelling out ludicrous and malicious insults as they walked away. you'd always turn your back before you saw, though, paying him no mind as he scrambled to pick up his countless books.
thankfully, you only had one class with him, grateful that you didn't have to spend too much time around that creep. you'd heard rumors, about how he supposedly stalked girls around school and spied through their windows. they sounded a little foolish, but it was better to be safe than sorry, so you kept your distance.
as class finished up, you quickly packed all your things in your backpack, getting out of your seat, and you were in such a rush you forgot your sweatshirt. it sat idly on your desk, and xiaojun almost jumped out of excitement as he saw you exit the room for good, eyeing you, and then the sweatshirt.
he stalled for a bit, taking extra long to pack up his own things as he waited for everyone to pour out. once he felt the coast was clear, he snatched the sweatshirt, the scent of you already making him slightly delirious. he tripped on his own feet as he hastily ran out of the classroom, eager to go home.
he'd waste no time, shutting his bedroom door as he sat at his desk, pulling his pants down all the way to his ankles. his dick was flushed and leaking copious amounts of precum, and xiaojun wondered what you'd say, or what you'd do, if you were here. he pictured you watching him stroke his hard cock as he pressed your sweatshirt tightly against his nose, greedily inhaling the smell of your perfume, bodywash, and everything else your assumedly smoothe and supple skin had to offer his senses.
xiaojun swore he'd came in less than 30 seconds, the quickest he'd ever finished. but he didn't stop there, he didn't stop for the next three hours until his unknowing mother called him down for dinner.
-
it wasn't until two weeks later in the library when your friends dared you to talk to him, proclaiming that he'd "probably piss his pants the minute you came in a 6 feet radius of him." you laughed, shrugging their comments off as you casually walked up to him. his head was buried in a textbook, his hand hurriedly scratching down notes.
"hey."
xiaojun didn't hear you, seemingly too focused on his studying. you tapped him on the shoulder twice.
"hello?"
his head shot up, and his face turned red and sweaty in an instant as he became frenzied, his hands scattering across the table as he began shutting books and putting stuff away in his backpack. he stood up, clasping his hands in front of his crotch.
"h-hi," he pushed up his glasses, yet his eyes never once met yours. you almost felt bad, ignoring your friend's giggling behind you.
suddenly an idea came over you, smirking as you spoke, "would you wanna come over to my place tonight?"
xiaojun's wide eyes finally looked up at your face, before quickly looking back down again.
"f-for what? um, if you'd like homework answers i-i could just message them to you."
you chuckled, "no, i meant, like, have sex."
xiaojun chokes, going into a full blown cough attack. you stared patiently as his coughs died down and he looked back at you, droplets of sweat beginning to form on his temples and neck.
"w-what?"
"i mean, unless you don't want to, that's totally fine too," you tested, bititng back a smile as you watched how xiaojun's eyes grew even wider.
"no!" he yelled suddenly, a few other people in the library whipping their heads around to shush the two of you.
"so, i guess that's a yes?" you asked coyly
xiaojun nodded frantically, "y-yeah, i would like to have, um..."
"it's okay, you can say it."
"s-sex. i would like to have sex with you."
you gave him a proud smile, winking once before whispering in his ear, "i'll meet you outside the library after school. you can walk me to your house."
-
the walk to xiaojun’s house was amusing for you, and painful for xiaojun. you had told him to lead the way, and it was relatively silent, with xiaojun periodically lifting his eyes to look at you and seeing that you were already looking at him, thriving off of his shyness. he held his textbooks tightly over his crotch, hiding how hard he was.
a million scenarios played out in his head of what he would do to you once you two arrived, but when the time actually came, he just stood there. xiaojun had never felt like such a stranger in his own room.
you plopped onto the edge of his bed, eyeing him with your legs crossed as you leaned back on your hands.
as soon as you gave him permission to touch you though, it was like letting a dog out of it’s cage. xiaojun quickly got started on undoing his pants, pulling them down to his knees.
you suppressed a moan at the sight, bringing a hand down to rub at your clothed clit.
“fuck, just let me finger myself first, need to get myself stretched out for you,” you spoke in a sultry tone, sliding your shorts down your legs and spreading your legs open as he resumed to touch yourself.
xiaojun watched in awe, and you stared curiously as he hadn’t seemed to touch himself, not even once.
you giggled airily, “it’s okay, you can touch yourself.”
xiaojun shook his head quickly, “c-can’t.”
you looked up at him, your middle and index finger inching towards your wet hole as you started fingering yourself slowly.
“ah, and why’s that?” you moaned through your words, your fingers picking up the pace.
“i-i’ll cum too quick,” xiaojun gritted out, his hands balling up at his sides. you laughed at his self restraint, being quickly interrupted by a moan as you tipped your head back when your fingers curled inside you.
“mm, s-so well behaved,” you panted, peeking at xiaojun. your words and actions clearly took a toll on him, his red and sweaty face bringing you near your orgasm.
it only took a few more seconds before you came. your hips spasmed and legs trembled as you gave your clit one last, soothing rub, before reaching up to tug on xiaojun’s cock.
he grunts, his hands hesitantly resting on your knees as you did all the work, aligning his leaky tip to your entrance. xiaojun lost all self control in that moment, just the simple touch of your hot hole causing his hips to slam forward, knocking the wind out of you.
“shit,” he whispers out, almost strangled as he stared down at where the two of you met.
“m-move, xiaojun, please,” you panted out, hands coming to grip onto the back of your knees.
your words set off like a trigger to a gun in xiaojun’s mind, his hands suddenly slapping yours away and putting you into a mating press, his hips snapping into you at a brutal pace.
you looked up at xiaojun’s face, beads of sweat traveling down his cheeks and sideburns. the both of you were breatheless, hyperventilating at xiaojun’s newfound, animalistic thrusts.
“fuck, s-slow.. slow down, ah!” you moaned, your nails ripping at xiaojun’s navy sheets. his dick poked you in all the right places, and his crushing weight left you choking on your moans.
it looked like xiaojun wanted to say something, but all that came out was incoherent murmurs of curses and proclamations of how good you felt. his glasses fogged up and began sliding down his face, one of his hands coming off of the back of your knee to quickly slide them back up to the top of his nose bridge.
“you think about this? think about fucking me like this?” you managed to choke out, a lazy smile plastered on your face as you brought your hands up to xiaojun’s shoulders, nails raking up and down his back.
“fuck, s-so much,” he panted, mouth hanging open as his hips crashed onto the back of your thighs, hands grasping and kneading the plush of them, “y-you don’ even know…”
you whimpered at xiaojun’s words, your stomach beginning to twist and turn as your moans got especially loud, signaling that you were close.
xiaojun’s stutters and spurs, the only words you were able to make out being cum. you hummed contentedly.
“please let me cum in you, p-please, need to, need to cum i-inside,” he rambled unintelligibly, his thrusts growing sloppy and untimed.
you nodded wordlessly, too weak and spent to give him a spoken answer. you were on birth control anyway, and the thought of xiaojun pulling out now made you unsatisfied.
suddenly, all at once, both you and xiaojun cum at the same time. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, back arching off of the bed as your limbs trembled. pants and moans echoed throughout his room, and you whined at the sticky, hot cum flooding your cunt. but before you had any time to recover, xiaojun turns you over on your stomach, his ruthless pace picking back up, giving you no time to even breathe.
a black, stained sweater at the front of xiaojun’s bed catches your eye, and you can’t shake off the feeling of how familiar it looked.
@yongvillage | ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১
#🩰 anon#wayv smut#wayv x reader#wayv imagines#wayv scenarios#wayv hard hours#wayv hard thoughts#wayv x you#xiaojun smut#xiaojun imagines#nct smut#nct drabbles#nct x reader#nct fanfic#nct scenarios#nct imagines#xiaojun x reader#xiaojun x y/n#nct hard thoughts#nct hard hours
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I loved you, You know...?
Sylus sits at one end of the dining table while Sylvia remains perched at the other.
A large chandelier lights the entirety of the room, a plush red carpet at her feet, some of the fixtures and furniture replaced from the last time she ate here.
She wonders if this was due to [mc's] influence.
She wouldn't doubt it.
Sylvia takes a small sip from her glass of pre-offered water, not knowing where to even start.
There's a long drawn out silence.
It feels like there's an ocean between them that impossible to cross.
Is this really going to help?
Sylvia has her doubts as she peers up at Sylus, his expression neutral.
She never could get any real emotion out of him.
Why is she here? What is she doing?
“I'm sure he'd be more willing to listen than you initially think.”
The words ring through her head, but she can't see this working or him giving much of a shit.
Sylus: Are you going to state your business?
His tone is dismissive as he thumbs the stem of his wine glass.
Her brow twitches. Is he treating this like a business meeting?
Sylvia: I'm working up to that. Unlike you, this actually means something to me.
Her gaze hardens.
Sylus tips his glass of wine to his lips before placing it back onto the dining table.
Sylus: Then you have the floor.
Sylus: But first I have to admit, I was surprised when you requested to meet with me. You promised you'd never return after the day you stormed out of my home.
Sylus: I never expected to see you in this dining room again.
Sylvia: I wouldn't if it wasn't important.
Her hands curl on her lap and she frowns at the silverware in front of her.
Sylvia: Trust me when I say I don't want to be here, but I talked to [mc] and she figures maybe you'd hear me out.
His expression softens at the mention of her name and Sylvia tries not to let it hurt or affect her, but for some reason it does despite everything.
She loved him. But he never loved her.
And by the way his expression morphs back into one of neutrality it's clear that look is only reserved for one person.
And it's not her.
No.
She's his worst mistake.
Sylvia is almost certain of it.
Sylus: If you're asking to reconcile and for us to-
Sylvia cuts him off, anger lashing through her.
Sylvia: It's not about that. I'm not that stupid and you know damn well I'd never do that to [mc].
Sylus says nothing.
He just takes another sip of his line.
He doesn't even have enough passion or fire to argue with her.
She's not worth it.
I hate this.
She looks at her lap again.
Sylvia: Logically, I know why we never worked. I could never be unguarded with you and always felt like a weird sense of needing to be…perfect and poised.
Sylvia: Because I didn't know how else to get you to love me. If I wasn't perfect I was afraid I'd never get your love, but that was never going to happen in the first place, was it?
Sylus keeps his gaze focused on her, unwavering despite the topic as she finally looks up at him.
He answers.
Honest as always.
And brutal.
Sylus: No. It wasn't.
Sylvia looks at her lap.
She's trying not to cry.
Sylvia: I just want to know why? If you knew you'd never…why would you do that to me?
Sylus is silent for a moment before speaking.
Sylus: I thought you were the person I was looking for. But I was wrong and by the time I realized, it was too late.
Sylus: And for that?
Sylus: I am sorry.
Sylvia: Sorry for betraying the person you were looking for or for pulling me into it?
Sylus: Both.
Sylvia lets out a harsh laugh, resting her head in the palm of her hand, her fingers digging into the silver of her hair.
Sylvia: I loved you, you know? You were the first man I'd felt safe with after…
After the man who took away everything from her.
She can still see the red bleeding into white strands of hair, her older sister's glassy eyes staring up at the ceiling and Lumi’s devastated screams.
But when she met Sylus, while intimidating, he never laid a hand on her or those she cared about.
And that was everything to her.
He could hurt. He could kill.
But he was gentle with her.
No matter if he didn't love her he was always so careful it made her want to cry.
Would she ever find that sort of love again?
Felix flashes in her mind's eye and she brushes the thought away.
No.
Felix deserved a better love than what she could ever offer.
And there was a possibility of the same thing happening with Felix that happened with Sylus.
The thought of losing him…
Sylvia realizes it terrifies her.
To never speak or banter with him, to hold him at an arm's length if they ever broke up, to have the relationship she and Sylus have now.
She didn't want to lose him too.
And if they got together there was an even bigger chance of that happening.
Her love life was always a mess. She always failed at it.
Her first love killed her sister and her second…
Sylvia: I should go.
Sylvia says at last, getting to her feet and pushing out the chair from which she's seated in.
Her heart is even more of a mess than before.
This was a mistake.
Sylus: Syl, you-
Sylvia: Don't. Don't call me that.
She clutches her head, feeling a headache pulse at her temple, unrelenting.
Sylvia: Don't call out to me like you ever cared about me.
Sylvia: I appreciate the apology and I'm grateful you heard me out, but you can't call me that in private while treating me like I'm a stranger.
Sylvia: I won't bother you again. I knew coming here wouldn't…
They wouldn't heal the broken parts of me.
But part of her had hoped.
Sylvia shakes her head before grabbing her purse, leaving Sylus alone in the empty dining room similar to how she'd left when they initially broke up.
With no intention to return.
As Sylvia steps back out into the open air of the N109 Zone, Sylvia begins to realize…
That maybe love was never meant for her.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylvia#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#sylus angst#sylus fic#lads#lads angst#lads sylus angst
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ok so this Tim's stuck in B's body
He made sure he was alone in a batcave, he knew he was alone. he didn't want to lose it, and yet, here he was. it's been too much. burying his own body. dealing with never seeing, or, at least, interacting with his friends ever again. becoming a father to his siblings, to Damian, which probably was already way too much. so he sat there. alone. going through it, because in the evening there was supposed to be a gala, and he would have to play Brucie, the role he genuinely hated.
He was alone, he didn't account for someone being there.
"Tim," Dick said softly, and it took everything from Tim to not whip around.
"He is dead, you need to accept it," he said, now grateful for Bruce's gruff voice. Hating that it sounds so deep inside of him.
"I've been around Bruce for twenty years," Dick leant on the Batcomputer table. He was in his civilian attire, "Do you really think I wouldn't notice?" there was a soft smile on his lips, and Tim felt, like he wanted to cry. He didn't.
Maybe he should keep a charade. Keep acting like he's Bruce.
"And even if I'm mistaken," he said, looking away towards the entrance to the mansion. "I"m always willing to give you a hand in case everything is too overwhelming after his death."
Tim didn't feel better, he only could go through his actions in panic, thinking what exactly set Dick off, he needed to fix it, to keep pretending he's Bruce, that's the only way.
"So if you can't deal with the whole plate, I'll help you. I'm just from Damian's teacher-parent meeting, by the way," Tim forgot, Bruce forgot, oh gosh, he forgot. "They still have my phone as their first contact," Dick huffed, like it was funny, like it wasn't a failure on Bruce's - Tim's? - part. "And I can go out as a Bat if you don't feel like it."
"You hate it though," Tim said, it wasn't something Bruce would say.
"You hate it more, baby bird," Dick said and pushed himself off the table. "If anything, I'll get ready for today's gala, I'll tell everyone you don't feel well."
Tim wanted to say something, he needed to say something, but when he turned around Dick wasn't there.
That was probably the worst time to get his hallucinations back, wasn't it.
(let's not make it that angsty and just have it as Dick actually came, but Tim dissociated for awhile, and thought Dick disappeared into the thin air)
Here's one(?) of the posts referencing this AU!
This ask focuses on the premise that Bruce and Tim switch bodies, don't tell anyone, and then Bruce dies in Tim's body forever trapping Tim in Bruce's body (while no one else knows).
This is magnificent, my friend. A beautiful addition.
I like making Tim suffer through his problems alone, but you are absolutely correct.
Out of all of the batkids, Dick *would* know Bruce best (unless it's Bruce *about* Dick). It makes perfect sense for him to notice that Bruce isn't acting like Bruce would.
There are reasons he wouldn't notice (he's busy, out of town, distracted, Tim planned for that, or Dick is grieving/spiraling), but it's more likely that Dick would notice than not.
Also, can you imagine the conversations they'd have? The debates? Is it better to let their family members know that *Tim* is inhibiting Bruce's body or to let them grieve Tim instead? Just Dick and Tim constantly fighting about what's best
[Including a very painful remark from Dick about how Tim is turning into Bruce because the younger one refuses to let anyone else know]
Anyways, this could result in Dick supporting Tim and being there for him.
On the other hand, here's some angst ideas instead:
Tim starts hallucinating more to deal with his loss of identity meaning that Dick was just a hallucination (and soon Tim starts seeing both himself and Bruce haunting him)
Dick knows that whoever is wearing his dad's face *isn't* Bruce, but he doesn't realize it's Tim (especially because Tim is "dead" and Bruce is "missing").
When Bruce dies in Tim's body, Bruce's soul returns to his body but Tim stays stuck in there as well :D
When Tim's body dies, Bruce's body starts to slowly deteriorate without Bruce's soul
I think that's enough angst for now :)
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Stolen Soul and Love
Valentino x fem!reader
warning : flirting, some fluff, inner strugle, obsession, falling in love in Val's own twisted way
Summary : One more meeting with the Overlords of Hell and he would have loved to kill himself, but he couldn't escape the responsibility any longer. The meeting was made all the sweeter when his red eyes settled on something he had never seen before pure love.
Info : THANK YOU ALL from my heart on my first HH work it means a lot. I'm glad you all enjoyed it so much and hoep you have fun with my future works
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was a pimp, one of the three overlords who showed their power more than clearly every day. He had everything: hookers, money, souls and power.
He was perfectly happy, I mean, he had the porn star from hell Angeldust and the TV demon Vox's ass was practically his. Everything the moth-like demon could want was his.
But why did he have this gnawing feeling inside him, like a growling, a chirping, a buzzing, like a moth, a fucking moth looking for something.
But what was it when he had everything but that one gnawing feeling inside him when he saw her. He was inevitably summoned to the Overlord meetings and for once he couldn't avoid it because it was probably about something important.
The three Overlords entered the room with an engaging appearance and the moth demon made himself as comfortable as possible in the damned narrow chairs.
The meeting seemed to begin, the reports were always the same, the souls the same and the danger the same. ,,Get to the point, Carmilla darling, some of us have a fashion empire to run," Velvette muttered, glancing up from her cell phone, which made Vox snicker, who was probably more focused on his ratings, which had dipped a bit due to his nemesis Alastor.
Nothing a fuck can't fix, Valentino thought, taking a drag on his cigarette and letting the engulfing red smoke billow around him before taking a puff across the room.
He kept his hands off the smiling radio demon, however, who had only given the three of them a quick glance, and had to hold Vox to prevent his cute TV head from cracking another one.
Letting his gaze drift, his gold tooth flashing in the light of the lamps and inwardly wondering which was the best setting for the next porno, he heard the door open. All the overlords were there, so it could only be one of the subjects and enemies.
And actually he wasn't going to look behind his heart-shaped glasses but when he saw that sweet smell he just knew something wasn't normal. It was the sweet irresistible alluring attractive smell and no one else in hell had it but him.
The red eyes searched first for a demon of lust perhaps, something powerful but no he found only a simple demoness maybe a little cat-like as the fuzzy ears on her head indicated but otherwise like any normal inhabitant here in hell.
But why did she smell so good? What was it that he felt that he had never felt? He watched her as she walked with a silver tray under her arm to the respective overlords to order a few drinks.
It seemed as if he could see she was neither a robot nor a slave but rather one of Carmilla's protégés dark silver white clothes a pretty dress but a little too long for his taste. It didn't lack class, which a little smoke can't change.
With a grin he waited in his seat until she came to him and blew his heart out to her. ,,Aren't you a sweetie?" he grinned, ignoring her superior's gaze and having long since forgotten the conversation and the meeting.
She smiled slightly and the moth demon felt his wings needing to flap, moving his fingers almost hastily across the table as he slowly came a little closer to her.
He was nervous, a fact that shocked him. ,,Pretty trick Sir Valentino... what kind of drink do you want?" she asked, not moving away from him and following the red smoke lightly with her eyes, which slowly settled around her but didn't seem to take her in. He didn't check her at a glance even though her sweetness was so close to him.
One kiss, one look, one lick with his tongue was enough and he knew what made her come. But no, he didn't. He just said, ,,Love potion with berries, dear" before the tall man stood up again, pulling back first and looking at her form from behind his glasses. This feeling inside him was something he thought couldn't be.
Nervous and twitchy...am I no or? his thoughts revolved around her at that moment and why his dark heart in hell still beat for anyone at all. Could it be, could it really be that the pimp and overlord could lose his heart to a simple demon? He didn't know, but the way he felt it was like back then.
He still vaguely remembered his former life of this body function when people fell in love. But he didn't have any more time to think about it when the door opened again after a few minutes and he saw that she had come back.
Several drinks were lying on the silver tray and he could just see his puinken with berries sticking out. ,,Thank you dear, say would you like to earn a little extra money, maybe even become the star at my side?" he smiled, shielding her from the others with his wings.
His hands slowly placed themselves on her shoulders, wanting to have her with him forever. ,,You're different from AngelDust, from the princess of everything here... you could be my star," he suggested, watching her red eyes as she slowly realized what he was alluding to, what he really wanted and what it meant for her. ,,Sir-Lord I mean Valentino I'm flattered," she stammered and suddenly he felt the arrogance return to him.
He knew demons knew that once they were so taken in, once they were flattered, it was easy, wasn't it? ,,And so beautiful," he complimented and let the smoke slowly close around her.
Carmilla may have taken her, but in the end you are mine, thought the demon as he brought the back of her hand to his lips, running his tongue over it in a surprisingly gentle, warm and inviting way.
He saw her embarrassment, how she couldn't pull away and didn't want to. ,,And do I have you?" he asked, coming closer to her and wanting her closer, not like Angel, but wanting her in a different way, always with him somehow.
Before he was suddenly pulled away slightly by her and landed back on his chair, ,,Hands off my employee Valentino!" Carmilla warned and Val raised his hands placatingly and rolled his eyes. ,,Not at all Carmilla, I only wanted to confess my unethical feelings to such a pretty creature," grinned Valentino, feeling himself turning back into the demon he knew.
Before he spread his wings in warning and walked past the overlords with a broad grin. ,,See you around, pretty," he murmured with a wink before his wisp of smoke announced his departure and the moth demon withdrew from the meeting.
With his very own recognition of this meeting. He had to possess this beauty in one way or another and he had truly fallen in love, one more reason for him to get her soul and her heart when she had long since stolen both from him.
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Two's A Crowd
College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+
(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)
Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.
Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing
Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added
Author's Note: Forgiveness is requested but not expected. Downhill we go!!
Cross-posted onto AO3
Chapter 3:
Over time, you grew less and less worried with Leon’s nice behavior. Your math grade has gone up significantly, surpassing a low C which is a passing grade, but since the tutor sessions have become much more bearable, you haven’t felt the need to stop going. Besides, you have an A streak to fulfill.
Your friends stayed suspicious about the frat boy’s intentions, however. The way you’d become so unbothered with everything relating to him had them stressed, yet at the end of the day, “no asshole can hold up a facade like that for this long”, as per Sky’s words.
Easygoing is the best way to describe Leon at this point. A gentle soul, from what you can tell. He goes out of his way to hold the door for you, share his food with you whenever he brings it, and he even gets excited with you whenever you get an A on any of your assignments or tests. It makes you happy that you held out for him.
“And that makes sense to you?” Leon was standing next to you, leaned over with both his hands on the table. You were both in the study room, only this time you had finished everything math related. Thanksgiving break had come and gone so everything had shifted towards the finals before Winter break, meaning now you were using the space to go over the study guide for the final given by one of your other professors, though it would’ve been nice to have your math study guide to burn into your brain since it’s your biggest struggle.
“Yeah, this is easy for me,” you mutter, hand against your mouth as your eyes move back and forth across the packet of information in front of you. Having Leon leaning over you had been commonplace since mid-November. He turned out to be very nosey. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your own classes?”
You didn’t need to look at him to know he was extremely confused by your study guide. “Uhh.. nah,” he stood upright and slowly made his way around the table, sitting down in front of you with a small groan as he relaxed into the seat. “I’ve made it through the past couple years here without ‘em. No need for ‘em now.” You nodded to the side at his, bringing the pen you were holding up to your mouth to nibble on the end of it. “Makes sense…”
It took awhile before you noticed his nervous fidgeting, looking up from your study guide to give him a worried look. “Are you bored? I can finish up in my dorm if you-”
“Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?” He cut you off, his eyes meeting yours before the room fell silent. The question was so sudden and you weren’t expecting anything like it, so it just had you confused. You must’ve looked it, too, since he moved his eyes away from yours while crossing his arms. “I mean-.. Y’know, figured I’d ask..”
Seeing him get nervous was always pretty cute to you, such a handsome guy getting worked up over you never failed to flatter you. “Oh, yeah! I’d like that, actually..” You giggled when Leon looked back at you, soon grabbing your few supplies to put back into your backpack.
Relief spread across his face, moving to stand as you collected your items. “Good, okay, uh.. How’s Olive Garden sound?” To the average college student, Olive Garden was some high class fine dining. Anyone would be a fool to say no to an offer like that.
Just like your friend told you not to do, the absolute biggest no-no when it came to these types of college guys, you let Leon get even closer. It was just dinner in the beginning, but you started seeing him outside of study sessions afterwards with him going out of his way to seek you out and hang out with you and you the same. “Just going out to dinner” turned into dates real fast, faster than you even had time to process.
You’ve almost completely forgotten about just how nasty he was towards you not three months prior with how he doted on you. Leading up to finals week, Leon made sure to bring you food after noticing your long study habits. He wouldn’t even give you a choice, just a simple “whaddya feeling tonight?” over text. He’d hang out in your dorm with you while you ate, much to your roommates dismay, and sometimes he’d just show up for no reason other than to see you. You’d blush and shy away from his flirting, he’d tease you, and you’d get mad at him for distracting you in a playful way. Even if you wanted to be actually mad at him, you couldn’t, not with that cheeky little grin he’d give you.
You never questioned his nosiness as he familiarized himself with your dorm, rummaging through your drawers as you whined at him from the bed to stay out of your stuff. Honestly, you’d probably look through his stuff too if you had the chance.
Having a boyfriend during your first year of college wasn’t exactly a goal, and you don’t know if this is even a relationship or not, but you weren’t complaining. It was so nice having someone care about you like this, especially when it’s someone who’s, to you, way out of your league in almost every sense. Though he wasn’t the most outgoing, he was very well known, and being seen with him meant the attention he received was spilling onto you. Hell, you didn’t even know he played football until he passed by you with his friends, all in their football get-ups. He never bragged about any practices or games to you, maybe you should’ve asked about the various bruises and scuffs he’d show up to the study sessions with. Oh well.
Every night during finals week, Leon would take you out for dinner under the guise of “destressing from the long day”, not that you minded, of course. You were growing increasingly anxious about your last final, the big one; math. The two of you were sitting in his black Jeep Wrangler as it idled out in the parking lot of McDonald’s, snacking on what was left of your meal in a comfortable silence. The combination of the heater blowing on you and the food in your stomach was settling you, if only a little.
Leon kept his eyes on you the entire time, hand rubbing soothingly up and down your thigh. His hand was so warm. “You’ll pass, I know you will.” His soft touch barely had you cracking a smile, looking through the windshield as large snowflakes quietly fell, lit up by the streetlights surrounding the parking lot and by the headlights on his car. The snow had accumulated an inch on the ground already, the sun having set nearly two hours prior. Winter and its short days, a blessing and a curse. “I don’t know..” You could feel his eyes on you, yet yours were stuck staring out at the falling snow. “My nerves always get me. I’m gonna make the stupidest mistakes and then once the final grades are in my parents’ll wanna see and then I’ll be surrounded be disappointment and shame and guilt.”
You closed your eyes and slumped your shoulders when you felt Leon squeeze your thigh, finally able to turn and look back at him. “You know that’s not how it’s gonna go.” He let out a breathy laugh when you raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, you’ve got it down! Plus, you had an amazing tutor~..”
With a dramatic groan, you rolled your eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, unable to hide your smile. “I guess, but you weren’t that amazing..”
Leon moved his free hand and brought it up to his chest, holding it there with a strong pout to feign hurt. “You wound me.. Was I nothing to you?” His smile quickly returned when you clicked your tongue at him, chuckling through his nose. “Seriously though, I’ve never met anyone as smart as you are. You learned how to do that kind of stuff incredibly fast, so I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that you won’t demolish that final.” His compliments always left you blushing and at a loss for words, playfulness giving way to a more heavy air. “Thank you, Leon. Really, thank you...”
You were too wrapped up in watching the snow fall through the windshield to notice when his hand pulled away from your thigh, or just how guilty he looked as he silently watched you.
The math final was easier than you were expecting. You understood basically everything that had been put on it minus a couple things that you scolded yourself for not brushing up on last minute. Grades weren’t put in until a week or more after the finals were turned in, yet you were confident enough in how it went to feel good leaving that room afterwards.
This first semester had really tested your limits, but you were lucky to have your friends, lucky to have Leon. It didn’t feel strange having him around anymore, it felt natural, real. There weren’t enough ways to thank him for all that he did between tutoring you and taking care of you overall.
You yelped with laughter as Sky picked you up, their arms around your midriff, waving you side to side as they yelled how proud they were of you. Ella only stood by and laughed along, making sure to take a picture of the moment as keepsakes. “Guys, I don’t even know if I passed yet!” You pushed away from Sky and they placed you back down on the ground, smoothing out your shirt which had you swatting their hands away.
“But! You survived and that’s always cause for celebration.” Ella pocketed her phone and took a couple steps forward so you were all standing in a small circle now. “You really pulled through these last few months.”
Thanks to Leon. “I did, huh?” You looked down with a bashful smile, shrugging before pulling the strap on your backpack further up so it wouldn’t slip off your shoulder. “You know,” Sky started, resting their elbow on your other shoulder while pursing their lips as they slowly turned their head to look at you, “you’re not very good at hiding your love for Leon..”
You weren’t trying to hide it, it's just that even the vaguest thought about the man had you flustered and stumbling over your words like a fool. All you could do now was glare at your friend, who just raised their hands up in defense. “Hey now, not poking fun, just making an observation.”
Ella placed her entire hand over Sky’s face and pushed them away from you, ignoring their muffled complaints as she looked at you. “We’ll always be suspicious because we’re your friends and we care about you, but as long as you’re careful, we’ll keep our distance.”
Sky pulled Ella’s hand off their face, making gross-out noises while wiping their face off. “Blegh, anyways, yeah. Keeping our distance, but still watching from afar.” They pointed their index and middle finger from their eyes to yours before smiling.
You hung around in their dorm as Ella finished packing up her suitcase. She’s had her plane ticket back home booked for a month, constantly expressing her need to leave as soon as finals were finished during that time. Sky was leaving the same day you were, which was in two days since you both drove or were driven here. Leon stayed at his frat house all school year, so you were thankful to have two people sticking around so you weren’t left all alone.
Unfortunately, this meant you had your own packing to do. Thankfully though, your roommate had already left, sparing you from their menial chit-chat. Packing was almost cathartic in a weird way, almost as if you saw going home as a reward for working yourself to the bone at this university. Quiet music was playing from your phone as you gathered the essentials, you’d be coming back in three weeks so there wasn’t any need to pack up everything.
A gentle knock knock knock at your dorm’s door startled you from your thoughts, causing you to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t just coming from the song that was playing. Slowly, you made your way over to the door, and before you’d even opened it fully, Leon slipped his way through, side stepping into the room with a cheeky smile.
You scoffed as you watched him weasel his way in, hand stuttering away from the door handle to allow the heavy door to shut. “You could’ve waited until I opened the door all the way.”
“I knocked, though.” Mischief was evident in his tone as his eyes landed on the suitcase sitting on your bed. “Getting ready to leave?”
“Not for another couple days. Just.. wanna be ready.” You walked past him over to your suitcase, continuing to fold the last few pieces of clothing you wanted to bring back home. “Perfect, got some extra time to spend with you then.” Leon chuckled, now standing next to you to watch you get back into rhythm.
Having him admit that so casually had you nervous, cheeks heating up as you glanced over at him. “Wouldn’t you rather hang out with your friends?” The eyebrow raise he gave you made you stumble as you tried to elaborate. “N-not that I don’t want to hang out with you! I just feel like you’d have more fun celebrating the end of the semester outside of a stuffy dorm.” You tried to laugh away the embarrassment, moving your focus back to the suitcase as you zipped it up.
“I can celebrate with those slobs any time, but for right now, I would really like to be around you.” Leon carefully lifted your suitcase off the bed, placing it near the door for you. “You’re nice and quiet. They’re not.” You sighed after lifting yourself up onto your bed, sitting criss-cross right in the middle while meekly smiling to yourself, watching him walk back over to stand in front of you.
“By the way,” he said, turning his head to look out your window for a split second before looking back down at you, “I haven’t had the chance to tell you how proud I am of you for coming out of that math final. I know results take awhile, but you seem pretty pleased with yourself.” He crossed his arms and bent forward a bit with a teasing smirk as he not-so-subtly looked you up and down.
You covered your face with your hands and laughed into them, a poor attempt to hide your ever increasing blush. After letting your hands fall away, you bunched the end of your hoodie up in them, fiddling with the thick fabric as you replied. “Yeah, uh.. I think I did alright.” You were going to say more, but you stopped when Leon’s hand found its way under your chin, tilting your head back so you were looking at him. “C’mon, don’t downplay this, baby. You did amazing and you know it.”
Your mind went blank at the pet name and you were finding it hard to breathe with the way his hand felt under your chin. The air in your dorm was a tad tense before, yet now it just felt heavy. Stifling. All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as you tried to think of something, anything to say.
“Did I catch you off guard?” He said with a breathy laugh, gently tilting your head side to side as he studied you. And you let him. Your mouth felt dry, face hot as he leaned in closer. “You’re so beautiful..” His voice dropped an octave and his eyes were lidded as they stared into yours. “So smart, so brave..” Soon his lips were brushing against yours, whispering out a final “So perfect..” before pulling you into a gentle kiss.
It didn’t take long for you to relax into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as you tried to mimic Leon’s movements. His hands cautiously slid down to grasp at your waist while yours moved up to cup his face, pulling him closer. He slowly crawled onto the bed with you tugging him along, leaving you laying down as he hovered over the top of you, knees planted on either side of your legs while one of his arms moved up to support himself.
He was doing his best to be careful with you, noting your nervous tremble as his right hand slid under your hoodie. “M’gonna take care of you, ‘kay?” He hummed against your sensitive skin, kissing along the underside of your jawline. You only nodded as his lips trailed down your neck, stopping when your hoodie got in his way of the rest of you. “Need you to say ‘okay’ f’me, baby.”
Nearly whining when he stopped, you nodded again a bit more vigorously this time, voice barely a whisper. “O-..Okay..” You propped yourself up slightly when Leon pulled his head away from your neck, his eyes meeting yours as both his hands were now playing with the end of your hoodie. “Y-Yeah, okay…” You repeated.
First it was your hoodie, then it was his jacket, and before you knew it, he had you in his arms, chest pressed against yours as he reached around to unclasp the hooks on your bra. You immediately brought your arms up to cover your breasts once Leon leaned back after pulling your bra off, self-consciousness suddenly settling in. “Hey hey, no need to hide from me..” He cooed, eyes raking down your body as he grabbed your hands to pull your arms away, thumbs rubbing circles onto the tops of your hands as he stared with a crooked smile.
You took the opportunity to take in his form; muscular, a couple old scars and freckles standing out to you. He was gorgeous, through and through, no doubt about it. He took notice, craning his neck to look down at his exposed chest before looking back up at you. “Looks good, huh?” That got a small giggle out of you, at least.
He slowly guided you back down onto the bed, his hands firmly rubbing up and down your sides. “You look even better, though. Layin’ pretty beneath me~..” His right hand found its way to your panties, running his fingers along the band before trailing further down to press his middle finger against the gusset. You gasped at the feeling while he laughed quietly, leaning back a bit further to catch a glimpse of the wet spot he was feeling. “You’re soaked.. Lil’ bit of touching got you all worked up?”
Your hands flew up to hide your face again as he rubbed his finger up and down your clothed pussy, letting out small gasps and whimpers all the while. You shakily nodded, subconsciously spreading your legs further apart as he slotted himself between them.
“Tell me something, babe.” Leon paused his movements to look up at you, huffing a chuckle through his nose when he noticed you’d covered your face. “You seem real nervous, so I’m jus’ wonderin’...” Dread settled in your stomach at his implication, you were hoping he wouldn’t ask this. “Yes..” You whispered, parting your fingers over your right eye so you could look at him. “Don’t make me say it, please…”
He hummed low in his chest, eyes darkening as they moved back down to your panties. “Juuust wonderin', is all..” His finger started to caress you over your panties again while adding a bit more pressure. “There’s no shame in being a virgin. Only means I gotta make this extra special for you~.” You moved your hands to shoot him a weak glare and he smiled in return. “Didn’t say I couldn’t say it.”
Once he felt your tremble start to dissipate, he brought his hands up and hooked his fingers on the band of your panties before slowly tugging them off, letting out a low groan as a string of slick stayed connected to the gusset from your leaking pussy. “Fuck, that’s hot..” He breathed in sharply through his teeth, taking your panties into one hand before grabbing his hoodie, stuffing them into the large pocket in the front.
Leon didn’t waste any time putting himself back between your legs, languidly dragging his middle finger up and down through your folds. He relished in your every noise, even as you tried to hold them in. “You ever finger yourself before?” He asked, voice gravelly as he repeatedly pulled his finger back to watch your slick cling to it by a string.
“... no..” Your innocence had him groaning to himself again. He could ignore the guilt eating away at him long enough to handle you the way you needed to be handled. “Let’s give it a try then, yeah?” He hunched over some more so his face was hovering above yours, middle finger now gently circling your clenching hole.
“P-Please be careful..” You whimpered, slightly panicked at the feeling of his finger nudging your entrance, one of your hands grasping the bed sheets while the other held onto his bicep that was closest to you. “I’ll be so careful, baby.. I promise I’ll be careful.”
And he was. What would’ve normally been a relatively quick process turned into ten minutes of Leon tenderly stretching you on his fingers. He studied your face the entire time, whispering sweet words into your ear, even letting out deep moans to encourage your own timid ones. You needed the time. There's no rush.
He moved down to pair his fingers with his mouth, tongue running through your wet folds as his fingers stroked your walls. The noises you let out when he sucked on your clit were intoxicating. You were intoxicating.
Once Leon pulled his mouth and fingers away from you, you knew what was coming. And when he paused for a moment after standing up, hands hooked in his boxers, eyebrows tightly furrowed together in thought, that only served to make you more nervous.
“..Leon?” You managed to say, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched his shake himself out of his head. “Yeah, sorry, just… thinking about the best way to go about this. Don’t wanna scare you.”
“You-... I’m not gonna be scared..” You looked from his face down to his boxers, eyeballing where his fingers were still hooked in them. He just clicked his tongue, nodding his head to the side with a soft “if you say so”.
As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were scared. There wasn’t much frame of reference, but Leon was… sizeable, for lack of a better term. And it wasn’t just his size that was intimidating to you, it was the idea of sex itself. Sex has always been made out to be this big grandiose milestone by everyone around you, so now that you’re about to actually do it is giving you the same sinking feeling that public speaking does.
“You’re scared.” Leon had pulled his boxers all the way down without you noticing, letting them lay abandoned on the floor as he took the small step back towards you. “No.” You were quick to object, eyes still glued to his dick. He chuckled and tilted your head back by your chin once more. “Yes, you are, and it’s okay. I’m not gonna kill you with it.”
“You might…” You muttered under your breath, eyes lowly making their way back down to his dick as he got back up onto the bed and in between your legs. “I promised you I’d be careful, right?” Leon grunted, his hand squeezing the base of his cock before giving it a few slow strokes.
You swallowed dryly, pulling your eyes away and back up to meet his. “Yeah…” He nodded, giving you a wobbly smile as he teased his thumb across his tip. “Right. So don’t worry, I’ve gotcha..”
You only nodded, doing your best to keep your eyes up and focused on his face as he lubed himself with your juices. Your eyes widened once you felt him line himself up with your hole, body jerking a bit at the slight pressure.
“You gotta relax, sweetheart..” He used his freehand to stroke your thigh before pulling your right up over his shoulder, hand moving back down so his thumb could rub your clit. “Just breathe and focus on what my hand’s doin’, alright?”
The two of you were lucky that a lot the people in your dorm building left already, cause when his tip finally pushed past that ring of muscle, you let out an embarrassingly loud yelp. It hurt, but it was also such a new feeling that it simply startled you. “Okay, okay, that’s the hardest part. You did it.” You panted, hands tugging at the blankets beneath you as he stilled. “Okay…” You copied him, nodding your head once you felt you were ready for him to move.
The sting of the stretch was the hardest to get by, however it was easily masked by just how full you felt after Leon was fully sheathed inside you. So new, yet so good.
You let out a shaky sigh, eyes closing as you rested back against the bed. Your heart was beating and your body felt hot. It was actually a nice feeling. “You- ugh.. You can move.. a little..” You breathed out, grunting softly when you felt him twitch.
“Mhm..” Leon agreed with only a hum, not trusting his mouth enough to speak. He pulled back an inch before thrusting just as slowly, eyes darting around your face for any sign of discomfort. A minute or so of taking it slow led to deeper thrusts, following your command as you asked for “harder”, “deeper”, “faster”. All with that sweet voice that he couldn’t say no to.
You were eating away at him and you didn’t even know it; wrapped around him so perfectly, that delicious honey of yours dripping down his balls, moaning his name, looking at him with those glassy eyes, fuck. He fits you so well.
He kept his eyes closed, unable to look at you any longer. Ignoring the guilt was harder than he thought, even with him thrusting into you like he owned you. You weren’t his, he can't have you the way you want him to-
“Shit-!” He gasped, too lost in his own thoughts to notice you’d grown close until you abruptly clenched around him, sloppy cunt milking his cock. His thrusts stuttered to a stop as he buried himself deep into you, cumming with a whine of his own. Looking at the wall with bleary eyes, he furrowed his brow again, chewing on the inside of his cheek while he caught his breath.
Clarity crashed into him when you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a weak hug. He needed to go, but how could he leave you like this? God, he was so fucked.
He should’ve just stayed an asshole, that would’ve kept you far away. And he should’ve never taken that stupid bet. All this for a pair of panties to wave around like a trophy.
tags:
@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik
(few of your blogs won't work, but i really tried 😩)
#college au my beloved#bully leon#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil#leon s kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy smut#leon s kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader smut#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy fic#leon kennedy fanfic#leon s kennedy x fem!reader#leon s kennedy x y/n#leon scott kennedy#re4 leon#leon scott kennedy x fem reader#leon scott kennedy x you#multichapter#multi chap fic
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