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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years ago

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Looking For A Place to Happen 6

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), age gap, general stupidity, some violence and threats, drunkenness, some content not warned.

This is dark!biker!Sam Wilson x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Series Synopsis: There’s lots happening in Birch and you find it all too amusing.

Sister series to Smalltown Bringdown, When the Weight Comes Down, Little Bones, and Fully Completely

Note: The second last chapter of Sam for y’all!

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Chapter 6: Making stops along the way

💀💀💀

You laid on your side and hugged the covers as the bed shifted beside you. Sweaty, sore, exhausted, and the sun was only just dimming beyond the window. Sam’s broad back tensed as he sat up and stretched his arms above him. You could still feel him inside you, not that any reprise lasted long.

He said nothing as you heard the knock again. You barely noticed before but the pounding got louder as Sam pulled on grey jogging pants and chuckled. You groaned and hid your face against the duvet. Every move sent a thrumming pain through you, and agonized emptiness you resented.

Your knee hit the toy as it rolled against you and you flinched. Sometimes you couldn’t tell if it was him or the silicone stretching you. How had it only been a few hours? It felt like you’d been there for days.

“Damn it,” the voice grumbled from the other room, low and muffled by the wall, “I told you I was coming by.”

You recognized it from that fateful night at The Asp; deep and sinister. As brief as your encounter with the man, you could guess he was rarely anything but irritable.

“Calm down,” Sam replied lightly, “I got other things to do…”

“You got business,” Bucky retorted.

“Money’s in the bag,” you heard a soft rustle and a harrumph.

“Should’ve brought it direct,” Bucky complained.

“I’ve been taking care of your other problem,” Sam countered smoothly as you heard heavy footsteps move around the front room.

“I see that,” Bucky mused, his voice clearer, closer.

You lifted your head and quickly hid your bare leg and ass under the blanket. He chuckled as Sam neared and crossed his arms over his thick chest.

“She knows the rules now,” Sam said, “got it all under control.”

“Mmm,” Bucky lifted his chin and turned to Sam, “yeah, yeah, well… my girl…”

“Nice woman… stubborn like you,” Sam remarked.

“Stubborn’s a word for it. She’s, uh, concerned,” he said carefully, “about the girl. Says she’s young--”

“Not deaf either,” you sat up as you clung to the duvet.

He squinted at you and you flinched. Sam glanced at you and tapped a finger against his lips for you to be quiet.

“You know Steve’s girl is having that little thing at the bar. Her birthday or some shit.”

“Steve won’t shut up about it,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“He’s sweet on her. Too sweet.” Bucky sniffed, “Anyway, bring the girl, need mine to stop worrying.”

“Ah, sure, when was it again?”

“Tomorrow,” Bucky jutted his jaw out, “actually…” he peeked over at you as he thought, “take her by my lady’s place. The girls will be there getting all dolled up.”

“I’m busy--” you began and Bucky snapped his fingers at you.

“You said she knew the rules,” he pointed at Sam, “maybe you should remind her before I have to see her again.”

He turned and you saw his leather jacket as he stomped away, seizing a leather bag from the coffee table as he passed. The door slammed in his stead and Sam leaned against the wooden frame to look at you. He shook his head and sighed.

“Don’t know what it is about that man and women,” he gave a smirk, “but y’all sure do like to take the piss out of him.”

💀

It was easy enough to find any house in Birch, there were only so many. As you were realising too late, this was detrimental, not just to you but many in the thrall of the club’s clutches. There was no place to hide from those men and their cruelty.

He handed you your phone back before he let you go. He warned that you better use it wisely. He would meet you at the bar later; you were to make your way over with the group of women you didn’t know.

You neared the front door of the yellow house and knocked. You waited nervously, the cold air slipping in under your long jacket. A woman opened the door and you wondered if you were at the wrong place. Typical. You could even get lost in Birch.

“Oh, you must be the last,” she chimed, “I’m Mel.”

You smiled and awkwardly gave your name. She beckoned you inside and you added your boots and coat to those already by the door. You dressed for the occasion, Sam approved of the outfit with a growl after advising you to wear something slutty. You hadn’t worn the tight leather leggings and the strappy crop top since your club days in your two years of community college.

Mel looked you over but made no remark on your attire as she pointed up the stairs, “to the left, you’ll hear them.”

You ascended and the low hum of 90s music and female voices reached you from the slightly open door just down the hall. You neared and knocked as you waited tentatively. You knew Bucky’s girl from the bar but never had the chance to talk to her. You never did well with strangers, always the weird one, the funny one.

“Hey,” Bucky’s girl swung open the door, “just in time.”

“Um, hi,” you stepped into the small bedroom, “I brought tequila.”

You held up the bottle as you peered around. The mechanic was on the bed, her brows arched sardonically as she watched the quiet baker girl that sat at the slim desk and checked her appearance in a hand mirror. She hovered a stick of eyeliner in front of her face but never made contact with her skin as she bared her teeth. You put the bottle down on the corner of the dresser.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she wisped but quieted at her name as Bucky’s girl introduced them, “oh, hi.”

You smiled and stared quietly. You chuckled nervously and rung your hands. “Did you need help? I’ve watched some, um, Youtube stuff on it--”

“Sure,” she lowered the mirror in defeat, “I just don’t wanna mess it up.”

“That’s a lame present,” the mechanic said, “make-up? When you don’t even use it? I always knew Steve was a bitch--”

“At least he got me something,” she handed over the stick of liner as you neared and Bucky’s girl pushed a cushioned chest up from the corner for you to sit, “my pa never did.”

“Just because he’s less of an ass than your pa doesn’t mean he’s not an ass,” the mechanic spat as she pulled at the front of her stiff dress, black with little gems set into the fabric.

“Oh, and look at you, wearing that clown suit,” Bucky’s girl intoned, “we’re all in the same boat.”

“What kinda look you going for?” you asked as you cleared your throat.

“I… don’t know, something pretty,” she smiled meekly.

You nodded and looked over your shoulder at the bottle of tequila. You peeked back at the girl as she squirmed nervously.

“We should do some shots,” you said, “it’s your birthday, right? You should have fun… try to relax.”

“Her, relax?” The mechanic scoffed.

“Shots sound good, I’ll get some glasses,” Bucky’s girl said from behind you.

She left and you asked the baker to close her eyes. You held her head carefully as you stretched her eyelid and traced it carefully. It was much easier to do on someone else. You added a little wing and balanced out her other eye before you sat back.

Bucky’s girl plunked four short amber shot glasses on the dresser and poured as you went over the gift bag full of make-up with Steve’s girl. She chose a rosy shade of pink that you gently applied to her lips.

Bucky’s girl handed out the glasses. The mechanic didn’t flinch or wait before she downed hers. Steve’s girl frowned as she took hers and you gave a thank you as you accepted a glass.

“I can already feel the burn,” the baker girl bemoaned.

“Come on, loosen up,” you raised your shot and downed it, “jeez, how old are y’all?”

“Old enough to know better,” Bucky’s girl said, “you know, you really got yourself in the shit but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you.”

“Oh you mean the local den of assholes,” you snorted, “shot, shot, shot.”

You encouraged Steve’s girl until she reluctantly knocked back the tequila. You took her glass and your own and went to the dresser. You refilled them and offered her the second.

“You really don’t learn,” the mechanic blinked.

“No, I do but I’d rather be drunk and miserable than sober and miserable,” you raised your shot, “and you guys, this,” you pointed to them, “the look, sure you got some years but you’re still young enough. You needa show some skin.”

“It’s below zero,” Bucky’s girl narrowed her eyes.

“The tequila will keep you warm,” you nudged Steve’s girl and mirrored her as you drained your shot.

“She’s gonna get us all killed,” the mechanic muttered.

“No, I’m gonna get you lit,” you grabbed the bottle and turned up the little speaker in the corner before shimmying over to her. You filled her glass and took a swig directly from the bottle, “also, I can hardly feel anything anymore.”

💀

“I’m telling you,” you slurred, “you can’t wear that! We stop by my place and I’ll get you the look.”

“The look?” Bucky’s girl interjected, “you mean the hypothermic style?”

“My nan has more style than all of you,” you stumbled off the main road away from the bar, “come on!”

“We’re gonna be late,” Steve’s girl squeaked.

“For what? It’s your birthday,” you grabbed her hand and ran ahead.

The other two followed a few feet back as you led them down to your nan’s house. You dragged her up the steps and leaned heavily on the door as you burst through. The smell of cigarette smoke met your nostrils as your grandmother appeared in the door of the front room and puffed as she watched you sway.

“Nan!” you dropped the baker girl’s hand and outstretched your arms as you grandmother swiftly sidestepped you and sucked on her cigarette.

“I see you’ve made friends,” she tutted, “try not to make a mess of my house or you’ll be cleaning it up, drunk or not.”

“We won’t be here long, we just need clothes… you got any of that wine left?”

“No more for you, girly,” she chided.

“Girls, girls, girls,” you turned back, “this is my nan. She kills bikers.”

“Shut your mouth, girly,” your grandma snarled, “you might be three sheets to the wind but words carry.”

“Do you?” the mechanic spoke up, more and more quiet as she imbibed.

Your nan gave her a long look. There was a moment of silence, understanding, commiseration. The old lady shrugged and tilted her head.

“I haven’t messed with bikers since 1978 and I don’t plan on starting again,” she butted out the cigarette in the empty coin tray on the console table, “go on, get what you need and get out.”

“Ugh, fine,” you moped away and waved the girls up the stairs behind you.

You leaned heavily on the railing as you ascended and they followed behind you in disorder, several times supporting each other in the climb. Inside your room, you pulled open your closet and looked at the impulse purchases you never had a chance to wear. You don’t know why you bought them, they were all cheap and generic, but you were always a sucker for a sale.

“Here,” you handed the mechanic as shiny silver top with straps, “I should have something to go with it.”

You handed out clothes like candy, some of the tags still attached so you ripped them off clumsily. The mechanic ended up in the silver top and black pleather leggings, Bucky’s girl in dark blue dress with cutouts that you ordered in the wrong size, and Steve’s girl in no more than bright red bra and some high rise jeans.

“We’re gonna freeze,” Bucky’s girl whined.

“Suck it up and put your coat on,” you snapped, “now, we’re ready for fun!”

“Steve’s not gonna like this,” the baker moaned.

“You need more alcohol! Who gives a shit what he thinks?” The mechanic nudged her, “he’s a prick.”

“They’re all pricks,” Bucky’s girl giggled, “what’s this?”

You turned as she pulled out the bottle of Smirnoff hidden in your top drawer. It was still sealed because you didn’t like the grape flavour but she quickly broke the plastic. She took a gulp and scrunched her face as she held it out to Steve’s girl.

“No more, it’s too much!”

“If only Thor hadn’t dragged his girl off,” Bucky’s girl pushed the bottle to Steve’s girl’s lips, “but we gotta make up for her, don’t we?”

“Shit, shit,” the mechanic chuckled and grabbed the bottle as the baker struggled to swallow, “we’re gonna get in some shit, girls.”

“Is that idiot ever happy? Loki? What a dumb name?” Bucky’s girl snarled.

“They all suck,” you added.

“Ugh, don’t get me started on Sam,” the mechanic wiped her glistening lips, “preying on a kid.”

“I’m not… not a kid,” you hiccuped.

“You didn’t know who Aaran Carter is,” Bucky’s girl said, “you’re a kid.”

You laughed and took a swig and cringed at the burn of the vodka, “I’m an adult.”

“Sure don’t act like it,” the mechanic said loudly.

“Who gives a fuck? Tonight, we don’t,” Bucky’s girl said, “come on, let’s go see those bastards and show ‘em we don’t fuckin’ care.”

You snickered as you found your coat where you left it on the bed and the lot of you staggered down the back steps and around the house. The winter air crawled over you and sent a shiver up your spine. You hardly felt it in the warm glow of the alcohol; not the cold, not the dread that had lingered for days, not even the regret. You were completely and pleasantly drunk out of your mind.

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lcvebirds · 2 years ago

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𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

knowing your partner well can potentially make writing a lot easier, repost, don’t reblog !!

TAGGED BY: @amourpoetique

TAGGING: @luriddaze @softpeeps @strawberrylaceswrites

▻ BASICS.

name: Jacey

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: tumblr or discord. sometimes i’m bad at responding because i’ll read messages and forget about them

single / taken: single

▻ THREE FACTS.

𝙞. i love long term shipping plots. while i love posting open starters and going back and forth with new people, i always hope that it’ll turn into something that goes past one thread.

𝙞𝙞. like i said before, i do tend to forget to respond to messages and if i don’t respond after a little while, shoot me another message because i’m typically not ignoring you but i have a short attention span lol.

𝙞𝙞𝙞. i love when my partners randomly message me headcannons or plot ideas! i also very much love moodboards and pinboards. i’m very into the aesthetics of things.

▻ EXPERIENCE.

I’ve been writing on tumblr for eleven years. my younger sister introduced to me roleplaying when i was younger and i’ve been doing it ever since. i used to do groups but now i pretty much ONLY do indie because it’s what i enjoy and i like that indie doesn’t have as much pressure.

▻ SUB-GENRES.

I am down for crime plots, romance, whatever. i’m not all that picky and i like to explore different areas of writing depending on my mood.

▻ PLOTS vs. MEMES

plots 100%. i don’t really post memes unless it’s a ship meme and that’s just because i like to discuss where our thread/ship could go before we really get started so that i can make sure we’re on the same page.

▻ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES.

depends but usually, i could go either way. i’m not typically a fan of one liners but i will do them occasionally. i like to have depth so that i have something to respond to and i like to keep my threads as interesting as possible.

▻ BEST TIME TO WRITE

i’m most active during the day. i’ve been more active at night recently but typically, i fall asleep relatively early.

#ooc #about me

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tiesandtea · 3 years ago

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Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside. Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately, they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

#simon gilbert #suede #so young book

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multeasers · 2 years ago

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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: Zag !!

PRONOUNS: they / he

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: personally, I'd prefer tumblr ! either through asks or dms, i don't mind ! i’ll only give my discord out if it’s really needed, and only ever in private, but i’m kinda choosy on who gets it anyway

NAME OF MUSE(S): a-qing !

RP EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS ?): i started between 2013 and 2015 i wanna say,,, i cant remember exactly when, but it's that timeframe for sure . i stopped in 2016ish tho, and was on / primarily off until now !

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: chatzy ( hell world ), kik, and now tumblr

BEST EXPERIENCE: hmm,,, it kind of had nothing to do with rping itself, but the chatzy room that i was first in ( that wasn't like, private and only for certain people ) had a set amount of users allowed in it at one time, but it would tell you when people TRIED to enter . so, eventually, we all figured out that some of us could LEAVE the room, BUT if we stayed in the same tab when we did, when we hit the back arrow we'd be able to bypass the max amount of people bc we'd be brought right back in . when i say we CELEBRATED when it worked the first time 😂😂

RP PET PEEVES / DEAL-BREAKERS: peeves-wise, one liners, mostly ; i need somethin to work with ! but also script- / play-style writing . also, the usage of asterisks when a muse does something ( within the thread itself, i mean ) . a deal-breaker would be if you’re really fucking rude to me outside of rp, or straight up refuse to discuss anything potentially triggering before introducing it / doing it in general . it’s one thing to not realize, and another altogether to just refuse to say anything about it . if it’s a general sort of thing though then it does kinda irk me if we haven’t discussed that we’ll be doing that ; if we’ve talked prior about just doing what we feel is best for the direction of the thread, though, then that’s also different since, yanno, we talked about it lskdma ESSENTIALLY this is a long winded way, maybe, of me saying a deal-breaker is if we don’t talk about SOMETHING before starting a thread, and later if it’s refused to be given discussion then that’s for sure a deal-breaker

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i'll do anything but romance and smut ! even if i introduced other muses, i’d still hold on to this stance

PLOTS OR MEMES: i think memes are fun but i've got very little experience w them ;;;; i prefer to plot if we've just met tho for sure

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: personally, i prefer long replies for myself ! certain chatzy rpers ( at least for the fandom i was rping in at the time ) were hell if we didn't go for long responses, and at the time i looked up to a lot of them, so now it’s just habit . tbh if i ever give a short reply / shorter reply than normal, it’s because i’m either tired or in a lot of pain ( just not enough to keep me from the blog LOL ) . for partners though i couldn’t care less, get as long or as short as you want !

BEST TIME TO WRITE: honestly, just whenever i can ! though typically it’s whenever i finally manage to get outta bed, so anywhere between 5 pm to 5 am my time is fair game

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): depends on if i want her to be :p

Tagging : @vagomvndo and @alurkingdisaster

#&& ( posts ) : memes #🌊 ( ooc ) : mun talking #sorry to tag u two ; if you dont wanna be tagged pls just tell me !#i didnt know who else to tag saklmd #that hasnt already done it / been tagged that i know already #need 2 get on talkin to others.... augh . it will be done . when im not nervous #augh added some things to the peeves part but i feel like it doesnt make much sense cries #ik what i mean though... ig if you have questions . just ask me and i'll try to explain better ksldm

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p1harmonyofficial · 4 years ago

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[📰] P1Harmony May Be New to K-Pop, But They're Beauty Experts

By Devon Abelman

"Pots-and-pans music" is what Keeho, the leader of P1Harmony, lovingly calls the K-pop group's songs. They're loud, explosive, and essentially caffeine mainlined through your eardrums — all in the best way possible, of course.

"Because our music is so strong, we try to portray that in our hair and makeup as well," Keeho continues. "For me, my hair is all slicked back for our new song, 'Scared,' and our makeup is a lot darker than [for our debut single,] 'Siren.'"

In fact, Jongseob, P1Harmony's youngest member, adds their strikingly different hair colors, like Theo's whimsical light pink, Intak's sleek jet black, and Keeho's enigmatic navy blue, balance each other out and express the range of emotions portrayed in their lyrics and melodies.

But this is just a basic overview of P1Harmony and the intense aesthetic they've been building for the past six months since debuting in October 2020. In advance of the release of their new EP, Disharmony: Break Out, today, April 20, I sat down with the rookie K-pop group via Zoom to get a deeper look at each member, their individual relationships to beauty, and how they are choosing to present themselves now that they are on the world's stage.

Keeho

When I ask Keeho which P1Harmony song fits his personality best, he replies, "You can't really fit me in a box like that. There are various characters I can be." The 19-year-old from Canada even wears many hats throughout our interview. Not only is Keeho the group's official leader, but he's also their unofficial translator, color commentator, and storyteller — he truly has an aside or anecdote to share about everything.

The first tale Keeho tells dates back to second grade, when he begged his mom to let him get blonde streaks in his hair. "I was that kid in class," he remarks.

Then, Keeho delves into how his family introduced him to the wonders of beauty growing up. His mom, in particular, made him "do a five-, six-step skin-care routine," he recalls. Every morning before school, he'd splash his face with warm water ("must be warm water, so you open up the pores") and wash up with cleansing foam. Then, he'd rinse it off with cold water ("so you close them"). Although this isn't scientifically true, I'm glad this worked for him.

When layering on his serums and creams, "the first one you need to do is the most liquidy one and the last one you need to do is the one that is not liquidy at all," Keeho recalls his mom instructing him — a fact I confirm for him. Also, she'd tell him to never rub his skin-care products on, only pat.

Last but not least, Keeho would (and still does) reach for sunscreen — "always sunscreen," he emphasizes. "My mom said, 'If you don't put it on, you're going to age like a raisin.'"

Keeho's older sister, on the other hand, brought him into the world of makeup by employing him as her guinea pig for testing out new looks. "I would let my sister put makeup on me all the time," Keeho says, mentioning Halloween as a common occasion for her artistry. They even playfully filmed YouTube beauty tutorials and challenges together.

One aspect of beauty Keeho has yet to try is a manicure, but he's ready to dive into that realm. "I think it would be fun," he says. A$AP Rocky's eye nail art that he showed off front row at Prada back in October 2019 is Keeho's major inspiration.

Intak

Another unofficial title Keeho has taken on within P1Harmony is hairstylist. Intak, the group's 17-year-old charismatic rapper and star dancer, credits him for his hair-care routine. "I learned how to use hair serum to volumize my hair when I go out," Intak says. Keeho goes on to explain that they both have incredibly dry hair, so he recommended his favorite moisturizing products to Intak and told him to rake them through his hair while it's still wet and only slightly towel-dried. Intak was so pleased with the result that he went out and bought the same products that day.

Although he has kept his hair black throughout his career so far, Intak is quick to share he's very experimental with beauty. For performances in the past, he's adorned his eyes with bloody scratch-like liner and ultra-sooty smoky eyes. Plus, you're about to see some cheek art on him and dramatically flushed cheeks.

Unlike Keeho, Intak didn't get into skin care until after debuting. "I've started visiting the dermatologist frequently," he says. "They gave me a set [of products] that includes [everything I need]." His favorite is a mask infused with avocado and peppermint, like the Tonymoly I'm Real Avocado Mask Sheet or Skinfood's Pear Mint Food Mask, which quenches his dehydrated skin.

Jiung

Spoken like a true Libra, Jiung is the first to mention he enjoys expressing himself through beauty and fashion. "[They are] really important things," the 19-year-old explains in English. "I always try to learn how to express myself that way. So the more I know, the more I can do."

However, when I ask Jiung what kinds of looks he feels the most confident in, he laughs before taking time to think about it. (In the meantime, Keeho shares he knows what he, personally, is least confident in: T-shirts, due to his long arms.) "This is hard," Jiung groans. I must say his short honey-blonde hair — a look he's always been curious about trying — is definitely bringing out a particularly magnetic side of him, as seen in the P-side track video for "If You Call Me."

When he was younger, Jiung dabbled in all different kinds of haircuts, colors, and perms, he lists off. The latter of which he looks forward to trying out again now as a K-pop star.

When the members were just trainees, Keeho helps Jiung recount a time when he wanted to fill in his eyebrows. "He did not how to do it at all," Keeho says. "He got a Sharpie and started coloring in his eyebrows. It was devastating, to say the least, for the people who had to see it."

"It was art," Jiung interjects. Now, he proudly declares he has a proper brow powder.

Theo

Theo, P1Harmony's straightforward vocalist, is admittedly a sneakerhead. He strictly wears Jordans, according to Keeho's translation. Air Jordan 1s are Theo's favorite style, but he can't pick a color that he's the biggest fan of. He can tell you what he feels least confident in, though: shorts and short-sleeved shirts. So if you barely see Theo in summery clothes, now you know why. (However, he doesn't offer up an exact explanation.)

Since elementary school, the now-19-year-old has permed and colored his hair every shade of ROYGBIV, including red, gray, and even blue for one summer break — all thanks to his mom, who is a hairstylist. This is a revelation even many of the other members weren't privy to, much to the chagrin of Keeho. "It's annoying me right now because his hair is healthy," he remarks. "My hair looks like a broom."

Knowing his hair is healthy comes as a shock to me, though, as Theo has gone from white-blonde to rosy-pink over the past six months. (Let's be real, that's a transformation few people's hair can handle.) He's also been able to grow out hair; it falls past his eyebrows and is starting to graze his shoulders in the back.

Honestly, Theo is ready for it to be short again, he shares. "I like my long hair, but I don't like it being in my face," he asserts. "I can't really maintain it. I bleached it so much that it flips in all different directions."

Soul

Before our interview officially started, the members and I exchanged weird facts about ourselves to get to know each other better beyond our beauty routines. Keeho revealed his left eyebrow has been twitching lately, and he needs to cuddle a body pillow to fall asleep. Intak has a freckle on his finger that his grandma often mistakes for dirt and tries to wipe off. Jiung had pet geckos, scorpions, and tarantulas growing up. Jongseob loves mint chocolate. Theo can't burp, and Soul enjoys petting insects.

But that's not the weirdest thing about him or any of the members. The strangest thing about the boys is that "Soul doesn't do anything at all [for his skin-care routine], and his skin is actually pretty good," Keeho says. (You can scroll through Soul's selfies on P1Harmony's Twitter to confirm this, but spoiler: His complexion is immaculate.)

Soul, 16, goes on to explain that his skin is incredibly dry and sensitive, so much so that even cleansing makes his face turn red and any bit of friction causes bumps to form. Needless to say, he's scared to put anything on his face. "I just do cleansing foam and leave it at that," Soul admits. Makeup isn't off the table, though. Soul is no stranger to subtle washes of pink shadow on his lids and fake eyebrow piercings made out of silver studs.

Although Soul is seemingly one of the shyest members and keeps to himself for most of the interview, he's an intense rockstar at heart. He favors P1Harmony's more aggressive, hard-hitting songs, like their new title song, "Scared."

Raise your hand if you'd like to see Soul with thick, black kohl or graphic blue liner and long, raven hair, perhaps paired with a studded leather jacket over a ripped-up T-shirt. OK, great; I'm not the only one. For now, we'll have to appreciate his bob-length ashy-blonde hair.

Jongseob

Other than his nuggets of knowledge about the way P1Harmony reflects their music in their hair and makeup, Jongseob mostly listens throughout the interview. Luckily, the 15-year-old rapper/songwriter did pipe up to share his skin-care routine.

First, Jongseob double-cleanses to remove his makeup, starting with cleansing oil and following up with a foam cleanser. Serum is slathered on next, then moisturizer. When his skin is feeling especially dry, Jongseob layers a gel cream on top as a sleeping mask — a tactic I'd never considered before. Typically, I reach for them in reverse order.

Jongseob's hair has also been through the wringer since P1Harmony's debut. Last October, he colored his hair lilac and gradually went darker shades of purple until it was an electric violet hue. Most recently, though, his dye job has been a fiery orange. Next, Jongseob says he wants to try gray with an ash tone.

And this is just the beginning of P1Harmony's journey through the mystical world of K-pop beauty. This time next year, they're sure to have experimented with even bolder, brighter, and more eccentric looks. For now, you can check out a teaser for their brand-new music video for "Scared" of their latest EP, Disharmony: Break Out, below.

#p1harmony #ot6 #t:news #era:disharmony : break out #210421

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evermoreholland · 4 years ago

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Red Velvet Delight (Tom Holland x Reader)

Title: Red Velvet Delight

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: The best way to celebrate Tom's 24th birthday is with red velvet cupcakes.

Requested: Nope! I wanted to write something for Tom’s birthday.

Word Count: 1,027

Author’s Note: Happy 24th birthday, Tom!

—

Tom and you weren’t official. Yet. You two have been hanging out for quite some time now and you have both developed feelings for one another. You both have a feeling that you like one another but you both were unsure. You’re both scared of rejection. You thought Tom was the definition of the perfect human and he didn’t deserve a simple person like you. Tom, on the other hand, thought the absolute world of you. He thought you were the sweetest person to ever walk the planet, and he enjoyed every minute that he spent with you.

You met Tom through Harrison. You have met Harrison through a project that you were both working on and you two became really good friends. Harrison introduced you to Tom, thinking that you two would hit it off. You and Tom clicked immediately and instantly became great friends. You started hanging out almost everyday. You two would watch movies together, have dinner together, and you would go golfing together. You and Tom communicated well and you were grateful for the relationship that you developed over the months. You both felt like you have known each other your entire lives.

You wanted to spend Tom’s birthday with him. Tom made plans with his family in the morning, and made plans with his friends in the afternoon, and unfortunately, didn’t have a lot of time to hang out with you. Of course you were upset, but you understood. He didn’t mention anything about having plans in the evening, so you decided that you would bake him red velvet cupcakes and pay him a visit to wish him a happy birthday.

You baked him red velvet cupcakes because he mentioned that he loved red velvet cake one time when you were hanging out. You made about 2 dozen so Tom could share with his housemates if he wanted to, but knowing him he would probably keep them to himself. You also picked out some blue balloons, since blue was his favorite color, and you also picked up a birthday card to fill out for him.

The evening was approaching and you decided to text Tom to make sure that he was home before you came over.

Y/N: Hey Tommy! I hope you had a great birthday so far. Are you home?

Tom: It’s been really fun. Yeah, I’m home. I could really use some company, though :)

Great. He wants you to come over. He’s inviting you over.

Y/N: Then I’ll be there soon, birthday boy.

Tom: Can’t wait, love.

You got all of your stuff for Tom’s birthday together, filled out the birthday card and made your way to Tom’s place. The drive was short and soon enough you were knocking on Tom’s door.

He opened the door with a smile. “Hello, love. Come in,” he said softly.

“I baked red velvet cupcakes for you. I remember you telling me that red velvet is your favorite,” you said as you handed him the tray of cupcakes and walked into his flat.

“They are. Thank you so much, darling,” Tom said with appreciation as he put the cupcakes and all of the other things you brought on the kitchen counter.

“It’s my pleasure. Happy birthday,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him. You two stayed wrapped in each others arms for a while, both feeling content with the position.

Tom pulled away from you slightly to ask, “Can we eat these cupcakes and then watch a movie?”

“I would love that, Tom,” you said as you pulled away from him completely and got a cupcake from the tray. You had a mini candle and a lighter in your purse and you grabbed those too.

“I see that you have everything for this, don’t you love?” Tom teased.

“What can I say? I’m well prepared,” You said as you placed the mini blue candle in Tom’s red velvet cupcake and lit the wick. Tom sat down at the kitchen table and you brought him his cupcake.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Tommy. Happy birthday to you,” You sang with giggles.

Tom closed his eyes and blew out the candle, just like he did every year.

“What did you wish for, Tommy?” You asked.

“I can’t tell you because if I tell you, it won’t come true,” he replied. Tom unwrapped his cupcake from the liner and took a bite and then hummed in delight. You took a cupcake for yourself and sat at the table next to him. You pressed a kiss to his cheek and then you took a bite from your cupcake.

“Well that’s a start,” Tom said quietly.

“To what? Your wish?” You teased.

“Maybe,” Tom replied and then you kissed him again, this time on his lips. He immediately kissed you back. You felt him smile against your lips.

You pulled away to say, “I really like you, Tom.”

“I really like you too,” he said with a smile.

“That’s great. Tom, can you open the card I wrote for you?” You asked. He nodded his head and then you got up from the table to grab it. You placed the card in his hands and sat back in your original spot.

Dear Tom,

Happy 24th birthday! I hope that you have an amazing day full of joy, love, and light! I want you to know that I really enjoy spending time with you. I also really like you. If you receive this card then it means that you like me too, so that’s good. For your birthday, I want to give you cuddles and soft kisses under the stars, but most of all I want you to know how much I care about you.

With love,

Y/N

By the time that Tom finished reading the card, he had happy tears in his eyes.

“I think that we should postpone our movie night,” he said.

“Why?” You asked cluelessly.

“Because I want to give you cuddles and kisses under the stars. Come on, let’s go outside,” he said pulling you out of your chair.

It was truly the best birthday ever.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #happy birthday tom holland #abby writes

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newtafterdark · 4 years ago

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Title: A Beautiful Mess - Chapter 2

AO3 LINK

Summary: Beauty sits down Freeman, Feetman and Freemind to introduce himself to them... and to let them know about Gorgeous’ boundaries.

- - -

Beauty had dealt with the chaotic man that was Gorgeous Freeman for many years at this point. They had met when they both had just started working at Black Mesa, quickly becoming a duo that was both loved and despised at the same time by many of their coworkers.

But now, leaning against a wall in front of several alternate universe versions of the man he knew... well, it was something else.

He had watched the one he had kept from getting bludgeoned by Gorgeous' crowbar entering the room. The guy glared right back at him with his one good eye, the side of his mouth pulling up into a slight snarl. Ah, one of those men. Beauty made a mental note.

Thankfully, Gorgeous had mentioned their nicknames, pronouns & basic descriptions to him before he sent the big guy to get some rest.

So, as he watched the men argue among each other, Beauty was able to add their faces to the basic information he had gotten on them so far-

Freeman was trying his best to soothe whatever Freemind and Feetman were bickering about. Hm, maybe Freemind had already mentioned the earlier incident to the others.

Wanting them to let out their need for chatting before explaining himself and Gorgeous to him, Beauty looked around the room, catching a glimpse at the people outside the glass door.

A few of them had similar features to the men in front of him; some reminded him of people he knew back home; a handful mirrored his looks to some degree... and there were also a bunch of others he did not recognize at all.

Several of them were looking right back at him, so he opted to just giving them a nod and a hopefully calming smile back, before focusing on the three men in front of him. Still bickering. Alright then.

"Are ya'll done? Or do ya want me to go outside to the other people? They seem to be interested in what I have to say, I think."

That instantly made both Freemind and Feetman shut up instantly. Freeman let out a relieved sigh.

[Thank you], he signed at Beauty, not really thinking about if the man could read sign language.

"You're welcome, doc.", he replied, smiling at the man.

Freeman looked surprised-

[You know ASL?], he signed, careful to make slow clear signs.

"Yeah, of course! Gorgeous taught me a bunch of signs back when we got to know each other. And until he came back... well, I had time to learn more, is all. The big guy has his non-verbal days but still likes to chat. It's perfect for us, really.", Beauty explained.

"He... gets non-verbal.", Freemind added, less of a question and more as a note to himself.

"The guy's been with you guys for weeks now and you haven't noticed? Well, he's dense. It doesn't actually surprise me that his alternate selves are as well.", Beauty said with a smirk, already enjoying the angry red that was slowly creeping up Freemind's neck. He was starting to understand why Gorgeous mentioned that it was fun to rile the smaller man up.

"Anyway-", Beauty started once more before Freemind could get a word in.

"Let me give you boys the basics. You can call me Beauty Calhoun-"

Feetman almost spat out the water he was starting to sip, leading to him coughing and getting two well-meaning pats on the back from Freeman.

"- and I think you already put together that Gorgeous and I are from the same place."

Beauty could feel Freemind eyeing him up, so he added-

"We can do the whole Speed-Dating thing later on, boys. Trust me, we'll have the time to.", he said with a smirk and a wink, enjoying the slight blushes on the men in front of him.

Suddenly and without a warning, the whole room felt several degrees colder, a thick heaviness in the air, as Beauty's flirty tone was replaced with a seriousness that didn't allow for even the most lighthearted joke.

"The main thing I need you all to internalize, is that you must not joke about the Resonance Cascade around Gorgeous. Don't even ask about how he experienced our version of it.

If you do not care about his well-being, you should at least care about your own physical one. I doubt he allowed himself to use most of his powers around any of you... so let me assure you: He could crush you. Easily. The HEV suit means nothing to him once he's all powered-up. You will be crushed like a soda can, if you trigger his memories of the Resonance Cascade by asking him about it. Not "might be" crushed. You will be. It's a sealed fate."

The room returned to its normal state as Beauty walked over to sit on a nearby crate, letting out an exhausted sigh as he put his face in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs.

"Look, I don't know how much you know about Gorgeous. Don't get me wrong - he is a selfish, rude motherfucker... and I love him for it. Hell, he intentionally makes himself look like a damn action hero on any mission he gets send on and makes the dumbest one-liners! Just... he's still human, alright? Don't... Don't make him act like he isn't."

When he finally raised his head, he was met with surprisingly understanding looks. Freeman especially looked at him... in a slightly knowing way. He decided to not unpack that here and now.

Feetman had taken off his glasses, forcefully brushing away a tear. Beauty could tell that he had possibly hit a bit too close to home with what he had said about Gorgeous.

And then there was Freemind. The man looked positively torn... but no doubt close to entering the denial phase. Beauty decided to add clarification.

"I am not saying you all stop interacting with the man how you have been. By all means, bully the bastard as much as you like. But know that there is a line you shouldn't cross. If not for his sake... then at least for your own. I can't be around all the time to pull him back if the gets into a violent dissociative state."

When everyone, including Freemind, nodded at that, Beauty let out a relieved sigh and leaned back slightly, resting one of his legs on the other. He let the men digest his info dump for a while, finally taking the time to unzip his tight collar, letting himself breathe deeply the moment his chest wasn't restrained by the tight Combine jacket anymore.

When he once again felt eyes on him, he focused on the men through his own half-lidded ones.

"I suppose... we can do a short round of you boys asking me questions you don't have the patience to wait for?", he almost whispered, leaning forward a bit, well aware of how much that movement pulled attention to his now more visible chest.

Feetman averted his eyes almost instantly, Freemind simply stared for a second before hiding in his leather jacket... while Freeman let out a soft amused chuckle at the whole situation.

[I think those questions can wait until tomorrow, after all.], Freeman signed and shook his head in amusement as Beauty winked at him.

"A pity, but completely understandable.", Beauty replied, hopping off the crate, walking past the men towards the door.

"I'll go check up on the big guy. Meanwhile-"

The three Gordons froze, as Beauty turned to look back at them, his teal eyes glowing faintly in the shadow of his face-

"- you internalize what I told you and make sure everyone who can be trusted knows about it as well."

They quickly nodded in affirmation, prompting a big grin from Beauty.

"Alright then~ Goodnight, boys! Don't let the bed bugs bite~!"

...

Feetman was the first to speak up, once Beauty had left the room.

"Guys, I-I don't know what scares me more... knowing that we now have another chaotic man with superhuman strength on our team... or that said man is Gorgeous' best friend."

"Both?", Freemind offered.

[Both.], Freeman agreed.

#freemanverse #gordonverse #gorgeous freeman #beauty calhoun #hlvrai gordon #freemind #gordon freeman #several others are hinted at but the main three are the focus in this chapter #yes #you get TWO chapters today #because hyperfixation is holding me by the scruff like an unruly kitten #fanfic #fanfics

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snowflake-of-destruction · 4 years ago

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Grass is Greener // Sibling Shenanigans 1/3

“I might be getting a divorce!” The signs of truth were there. Kairi had a cat carrier in each hand, Astrophe, the princess too good for a carrier, laid across her chest with claws dug into her shoulder, and the long strap of a duffel bag crossing her chest at a slant with the bag itself balanced against a cocked hip. Kairi’s shadow and liner were smudged and eyes too bright. Her smile was forced. Her hair was coiled in a complicated knot, but with several strands fallen out and curling slightly with damp and stuck to her face and neck, and she was wearing a short black sequined dress with tennis shoes and no socks. She was a definite picture.

However, her lines were delivered with the air of someone announcing that they had won an all expenses paid trip to Port Royal, and not that the life they had built was crumbling around them, so Axel thought he could be excused when it was with an exasperated sigh and a, “What happened this time?” that he welcomed his little sister through his front door and not a sympathetic and concerned, “Tell me what happened.”

“You know how Vanitas was supposed to be gone this weekend?” The carriers were already on the floor and Kairi and Vanitas’s manx, Ali, had, by all evidence Axel could see, turned to smoke and reformed outside the wire barred door as soon as it was set on the ground before Kairi had even bent to unlatch it, Astrophe running after his sister. “Is Stuffing shut in the bedroom?” All of Kairi’s cats knew Turkey was monarch of the realm, and they were proud aunts and uncles to the litter (Pumpkin, Gravy, Cranberry, Potato, and Biscuit, all of whom were supposed to have gone on to new homes by now, but Kairi suspected were to become permanent fixtures since Axel had not been able to “find the time” to secure appropriate homes so far since “They can’t just go to anyone, Kairi, and I’m not sending them to your broken home either!”) but Kairi’s old wirehair cat, Tillac, who Axel assumed was in the other carrier, and Stuffing had a rivalry that stretched back years.

Axel didn’t even bother to nod, opting instead to ask, “Is Xion okay?” as he closed the door and then addressed his sister’s other question while bending to pick up the shoes she’d already kicked off so he could place them on the shoe rack by the door which she never remembered to do. “No, I don’t keep Stuffing shut up unless I’m expecting Tilly, which I wasn’t.” The last was said with a pointed look. “I see you had your hands full, but would it have killed you to call?”

Kairi gaped at him. “Axel, I just took the kids and left my husband, and you manage to take his side by implying the only reason we could have argued is if I had planned something untoward in his absence, insult one of my dearest friends, imply you care more about Xion than your own sister, and whine about how my showing up is going to impact the plans I know you don’t have all in the space of seconds? Axel, your baby sister is distraught!”

“Yeah, but is Xion okay?” Axel repeated without pause. “She’s sensitive.” He dropped the shoes in their proper place and let out a belated snort. “Untoward? Are you using a word of the day calendar so you can impress the hubby’s friends?”

Kairi released Tillac to go harass Stuffing until Turkey put her in her place, stood up, and tugged the hem of her dress down and readjusted the bodice to try and wrangle everything into a more presentable place. “Not all of us spend our days communicating only in grunts, brother dear.”

“Hey!” Axel gasped in mock offense. “I’m trying my best to teach Demyx human speech, but sometimes I have to meet him halfway.” He opened up his arms and gestured with his hands for Kairi to come hug him, an olive branch she immediately accepted, tripping over the cat carriers to throw herself in his arms. “Now tell me what happened and we can get drunk, or I’ll go threaten the bastard with a weed whacker or something.” He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. There wasn’t enough information yet to establish whether this was a you’ll work it out moment or a you really shouldn’t go back this time with a side of you could do so much better, so he left no follow up.

“It’s really not that bad,” were Kairi’s first words and Axel could have provided commentary, but led her over the couch instead. Presumably, that meant Xion was fine. “It’s my fault. I picked a fight.”

He waited a second for more details, and, when none came, he urged her along. “Atta girl. Knock some teeth out? He has too many.”

“Axel, please.”

“Didja, blacken one of those creepy gold eyes?” Axel forced an exaggerated shudder to go with his words. He didn’t have to do much to make it happen. He’d found Vanitas unnerving ever since Kairi introduced them (or, rather, failed to, since “Guess who got married in Vegas?” did not an introduction make).

“His eyes are hazel and they are gorgeous.” Kairi sighed, picking up a wandering kitten from the arm of the couch and sitting them on her lap to cuddle (Pumpkin or Cranberry, but with Kairi’s hand covering the the top of their head while she scritched their scalp, there was no way to check the marking).

“Sure, if you’re a hawk. I bet all the lady hawks go crazy.”

“That’s my husband,” Kairi warned.

“Yeah, but for how much longer?” Axel scoffed, brushing his sister’s fight with husband off again, something he still wasn’t sure he wouldn’t regret later, though Kairi’s glare was weak enough he was confident that he would be called to post bail because Kairi and Vanitas were picked up for indecent acts in the back seat of a convertible in the middle of a car show by next week. It wasn’t like this was the first time Kairi had shown up on his door, claiming things might be over. There was a bit of a girl who cried wolf situation at this stage. He picked up his half finished beer from the coffee table and took a swig. “And I’m just saying you have bad taste. Xion excluded. Do you want to put your duffel and the carriers in the guest room?”

“I don’t have bad taste. You have bad taste,” Kairi fired back and Axel couldn’t help but picture her at eight years old with a missing tooth and a haircut she’d given herself because he had dared her. “Your last boyfriend was literally a serial killer.”

“You have to kill three people before its serial and he was only convicted of manslaughter. Honestly, it’s like you never had a bad relationship before.” Axel’s easygoing reply of the standard line didn’t match the sudden flicker out and fade of amusement from his eyes.

“You do better with bored housewives.” Kairi patted his arm, and it was almost like an apology. “I’ll get the luggage in a minute.”

“I do fantastic with bored housewives,” Axel corrected, “but I’m usually only interested in their husbands.”

“Oh! Speaking of,” Kairi tucked her legs beneath her and sat up straighter, predatory look entering her eyes, “You started work for Xion’s brother-in-law today, right?”

Kairi smiled suddenly with too many teeth--maybe she was well suited to her husband after all--and Axel found it took all his focus to swallow his beer without choking. It occurred to him that the thermostat might have been broken, because the room was getting humid but the air hadn’t kicked on. “Weren’t you distraught?” He furrowed his brow like a good concerned big brother. “Didn’t you have a fight with your husband? You may be getting divorced. I know we don’t talk about things that bother us like a normal family, thanks Dad, but that’s upsetting news! I’m distraught! My ears are wide open.” He took one of Kairi’s hands in both of his and there was a meow of protest from Pumpkin. “I’m listening.”

Kairi pulled away and resumed important kitten petting duties. Unlike before, where her petulance was for Axel taking things too lightly, her frustration now seemed to be at internal sources. “Sora invited me away for the weekend. Most of that duffel was already packed.”

“What about Xion?” Axel whined his bias. “She was in…” Axel made an okay symbol with his thumb and index finger and whistled between his teeth for effect, “fine form when I saw her earlier. She was wearing this petal pink bodycon number so short I saw that starfish you’re always talking about, and I think she cut her hair again, or at least did some different product. She was wearing that perfume you got her too. I thought you guys had something planned tonight.”

“Maybe she was going out with Ventus.” Kairi was dismissive enough in tone, but her lips pursed when they were done with the words and Pumpkin made a complaining noise like he’d been squeezed.

“Who?” Axel oozed false innocence and confusion.

“Her husband...fiancé...boyfriend...whatever,” Kairi waved vaguely, more obviously disgruntled by the moment.

“Not whatever. Just because you skipped a few steps with ol’ Vani the Vain, doesn’t mean there is a distinct difference between those three things, typically one that matters to most people.”

“Just those in the relationship,” Kairi countered.

“And those with...what’s the word?” Axel pretended to think as Pumpkin abandoned Kairi in favor of him, and two more cats came bolting into the room as if summoned, sensing Dad was handing out love. “Morals? Boundaries? Restraint?”

“Van and I do have restraints…” Kairi hummed, trailing off once the joke was made and clicking her tongue to lure Potatoes to her.

Axel howled protest and screwed up his face, playing along, glad Kairi was distracted again before she could get sad. “ Too much information even for us!” When Kairi giggled--with grateful eyes that said she wasn’t really that amused, but was trying because she saw he was working hard to keep things light from the moment she’d walked in the door--Axel declared that part of his job done and reoriented back to allowing Kairi to tell her story. “So Vanitas was supposed to be gone so you made plans with Sora, and you were just going to leave the cats? “

“Xion was going to check in on the cats,” Kairi clarified the important part.

“You were going to have Xion catsit while you went traipsing off with the flavor of the month?” Axel stretched his mouth and widened his eyes, daring his face to stick in the clowning expression. “You’ll never get her to leave Airvent and marry you instead that way!”

“I’m already married...for now,” Kairi tokenly defended her marriage.

“Doesn’t count. He didn’t get my blessing...and he never will.” Axel was quick on both parts of the rejoinder.

Kairi ignored him as he expected her to and started to confess in a rush, “So Vanitas announces that he’s not going to the conference anymore; something about him finding out some of the last second substitutions in presenters and articles being presented when his was declined in the peer review stage...He was still published, but it’s a whole political thing with being featured in the conference. Anyway, he had to boycott on principle, so he’s home, and he told me to get ready because we were going out to dinner and we were going to order multiple bottles of wine and get kicked out of our favorite restaurant because he’s already a disgrace…his words. He gave me the opening, and I took it, because I’m panicked Sora is going to show up at the door.”

Axel raised his hand like an obedient child in a classroom to be called on, but just went ahead and interrupted even when he was ignored. “Isn’t Sora the yoga guy? Couldn’t he defeat Vani Vain with the power of friendship and love?” He hadn’t met Sora. Kairi was quite adamant that he wasn’t allowed to after he’d been a little more than politely amused at her stories. It was a fair ask since Kairi had, rightly, assumed that the only reasons Axel wanted to meet Sora were to see if he could make him cry for the fun of it, warn him off his sister, or, if he proved to be as attractive as Kairi said, sleep with him himself.

Kairi continued as if the interruption hadn’t happened. “I don’t take it right away. I get dressed, start to do my hair, and then I start throwing things from the vanity and yelling about how he can’t just order me to doll up like that’s all I am, his doll, waiting pretty on a shelf, ready to play with when he remembers I’m there. I point out he never asked me to come to the convention with him, and after we had such fun at last years’.” Axel snorted, knowing that story, and the pattern of being blocked out continued, “And I know how many spouses come along now. I think I accused him of having an affair. I really don’t know. I half blacked out. A spirit took over, and when I came to, I was packing a bag and insulting his paper because he still wasn’t getting angry enough fast enough to justify me leaving.”

“It sounds like you handled the situation brilliantly,” Axel complimented. “So did you call Sora and tell him to pick you up here, or is the weekend off? Am I on catsitting and husband deflection duty?” He wasn’t seeing a problem yet, not even something that warranted Kairi’s overdramatic divorce line, though a troubling thought did occur to him. “If he smacked you, shoved you, laid a hand on you in any way when you started yelling at him, I will do more than threaten him with the chainsaw. He’s dead. Demyx will help me hide the body. He knows a guy, and he owes me. They both owe me. Plus, I learned some tricks from my ex.” He softened his concern and threats he was prepared to follow through with in jokes.

“Stop thinking the worst of him at every opportunity,” Kairi snapped, and Potatoes rubbed his head against her stomach to calm her. “He just...took some low blows of his own and things escalated more quickly than I wanted them to.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“Like what?” Axel responded carefully, not wanting to supply guesses when it was a losing game, even if he came from the angle of listing reasons anything Vanitas could have said was untrue.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kairi insisted, which was a prime sign that it did. “I just might be here a few days for real after Sora and I get back. He’s coming to pick me up in an hour.”

Axel was silent a moment, assessing whether he should push Kairi to talk or hope the weekend healed the wounds, then nodded and gently lifted all cats away from his body. “An hour doesn’t give us much time. Go sit at the dining room table. Go!” He shooed her.

Kairi complied without asking for explanation and Axel went into the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses down from the cabinet and an open half a red from the fridge. On impulse, he grabbed a few empty beer bottles from his recycling pile as well and stuck them under his arms. He continued their conversation as he rejoined his sister. “Do I get to meet Sora or is he supposed to stay outside and honk? Put your head down on the table and look listless.” He poured the barest hint of wine in the bottom of the glass he put in front of Kairi, and did the same for the one he put in his spot at the table. He arranged the empty beer bottles with the eye of an artist. “Let me go get my phone. Look sadder, but not so sad it’s unbelievable.”

“If you want to meet Sora, take one of his classes.”

Axel snapped a series of pictures to choose from, talking to himself, “She’s doing fine, Vanitas. We spent the evening talking. Of course. I’ll send you a picture.” Raising his voice a few decibels, he gestured back to the living room. “Go lie down on the couch, cover yourself with the fleece from the armchair, put a cat or two on your chest, and close your eyes. We’ll shoot, ‘don’t come over now, Van, she’s sleeping,’ next and then you can change into sweats and grab some board games from the closet. I’m assuming you’ll be too mad to answer phone calls from him anyway, but do you want to take your hair down and get it wet in the sink for some, ‘No, she just got out of the shower, why are you so creepy needing evidence?’ safety shots?”

“You’re seriously the best brother ever,” Kairi leaned up on tiptoes and pecked Axel’s cheek on her way into the living room.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Roxas was watching you today from the upstairs window,” Kairi tossed out nonchalantly. “Xion texted me about it. He wants to smell your hair and cook you dinner.”

“He what?” Axel stuttered and nearly fumbled his phone. So much for a steady hand and unflappable cool. The Howe he hadn’t met yet, having spoken with Isa Howe during his initial looks around and estimates for the yard, had come outside after Xion had left, and all but admitted to watching him at least as long as to comment on Xion detouring to chat with him a minute before she went to her car, and, sure, Axel had purposefully peeled off his shirt and rolled down his overalls to his waist after Roxas had went inside, hoping he was still watching, but he hadn’t seen any proof, and their brief conversation had spent a moment on shock of shared acquaintances (“You know Xion? I knew you were Kairi’s brother--she recommended you--so it makes sense since they’re close, but that’s wild. Small world.”) and then stayed in the professional (apparently Roxas had been the one who had done the sketches Isa had shown Axel of what the garden in the backyard was supposed to look like when he was done). Maybe Axel had noticed that Roxas had eyes the exact color blue as the delphinium hybrid he had presented at his last flower show (had to keep up the street cred that he was more than just a lawn service guy and a tree and hedge trimmer somehow--even if that sort of thing was his bread and butter), and that he was pretty cut since he hadn’t bothered with a shirt when he ran outside. And perhaps, when the sun caught his hair he looked like an angel out of a renaissance painting. None of that meant anything though.

“He wants to cook you dinner,”Kairi repeated, cavalier. “Be gentle with him. I think it would be his first time out of the box in awhile.”

“I’m not…” Axel pinched the bridge of his nose, counting to keep from getting angry and only managing to count the problems he had with what Kairi was suggesting. “Is this why you recommended me to your friend? Are you my pimp now?”

“He needs a fling.” Kairi had the nerve to shrug. “You are an accomplished flinger. The only person you’re seeing right now is Demyx, and he’s just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms….He is still just a friend sleeping in one of your spare rooms, right?”

“Most nights.” Axel left it ambiguous whether Demyx spent the odd night elsewhere or whether the friend lines sometimes blurred. “And my best tree trimmer.”

“That’s what I heard from Ienzo.” Kairi proved the Emberson comedic timing lived well in her. “So what’s the problem with Xion and I wanting to give Roxas a hot gardener fantasy to brighten up his life? He’s a friend.”

“So many things are wrong with that, Thalassa Shell.” In times so serious, Axel had no choice but to bring out family pet names.

A beat passed. Kairi didn’t apologize for the idea like she was supposed to. Axel didn’t harp on it more. Another question fought its way out of his throat. “Incidentally though, did he say anything else about me?”

#grass is greener verse #fanfiction #axel #kairi #kingdom hearts #akuroku #not really akuroku but ya know gotta warn people #vanikai #kaixi #GIANT THANK YOUS TO EVERYONE WHO ENJOYS THIS #AND ESPECIALLY ONES THAT CREATED THINGS CELEBRATING THE NONSENSE #snippets

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morethanaprincess-a · 4 years ago

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@liechotomy said: ★ (/sweats/ don't wanna let you down...!)

Too shy to reach out? Send me a symbol to explain why we aren’t roleplaying yet!

★ - I’m intimidated by how much you write

Thank you for responding to the meme! I really do appreciate it, as it helps me connect with mutuals interested in writing with me. And when I’m mutuals with someone, I do want to write with you!

I can understand how post and reply length can be intimidating. But I want to say that, for the most part, please don’t worry about how much or little you write. As long as I’ve got something to reply to, it’s all good! And if I don’t, I’ll likely reach out directly to plot or ask questions about where to take the thread further. Plotting in general tends to help me when it comes to ideas and thread content, too (I really like plotting and connecting OOC! It definitely helps with IC interactions). But it doesn’t have to be an exact match for word count or number of paragraphs. Sometimes replies are longer, other times they’re shorter. It’s more important that there’s something to react and/or reply to, or introduce to the scene and story than making sure it’s a certain length.

The only writing style I have trouble working with are one liners or short, single paragraphs. I have trouble getting a handle on a muse (or someone’s interpretation of a canon muse) with replies like that, especially when it’s a single line of dialogue. Unless it’s a crack or non-serious/non-main thread verse thread, of course! Short posts for that type of content works great.

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #(too shy to reach out meme)#liechotomy

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bxoken-heartss · 5 years ago

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Christopher Velez: Put a Little Love on Me

A/N: This is a little experiment I tried to do cause this song gave me some soft Chris feels? So I hope y’all like it and comment down your opinions. There are two parts to this.

Words: 6.4K +

Pairings: Christopher V. x Reader

Genre: Heartbreak and fluff

Triggers: Language...

Honorable mentions: @papichriscnco @cnco-hoenesty @ellos-me-vuelven-loca @wwecncoroadtripwhydontwetrash @joelpimenteljs (For being my SPANGLISH Translator! Love ya Bubs! <3 )

GUIDE:

(Y/N): Your name

(Y/N/N): Your nickname

(Y/L/N): Your Last Name

' ' ': Switch of scenes

~ ~ ~ : Line by Line Lyrics scenario ending.

//We fight, We get high holding onto love

We came down cause there was nothing holding us.//

Y/n was Zabdiel's best friend. Ever since the day she had stood up for him and patched him up after that rough fight back in middle school.Ever since that day, the two have been inseparable. The both of them were blessed with beautiful voices, always spending their time practicing hard. So when Zabdiel turned 17, he decided to audition for La Banda. Having originally being from Britain, Y/N had decided to go back to her hometown, Manchester and audition for the X-Factor to prove her worth to the world wanting to pursue a solo career in pop music despite spending half of her childhood in Puerto Rica. But despite the conflicting and busy lives they've had, she was there..there when he needed her, him doing the same. She was absolutely overjoyed and practically launched onto him as she hugged him to pieces as she kept congratulating him. He was there for her last performance...stood beside her and consoled her when she got eliminated from the top 3 finalists.

He was downright disappointed but not for long..The night she lost the X-factor, she had won a couple millions of hearts. She continued to pursue her interest..creating music, covering songs of artists she hoped she'd sing along with one day. Her hard work and determination paid off when she got a call asking her if you was interested of being a part of the ISLAND RECORDS. She was thrilled, ecstatic and overjoyed. And within a span of months, she had made her mark, slowly but an unforgotten mark. Zabdiel was there, like always to support her throughout her important phase of her life. It was harder to be there for each other as they had their own careers to pursue.

But when they had been recording in Miami for their own albums, they could spent plenty of time together. Zabdiel had practically dragged her towards the boys even though she opposed the idea fearing that she'd just fangirl on their faces (She was a huge fan of theirs..). But anyways after a few pleadings from Zabdiel she agreed..She had met them backstage after their final performance but it was pretty rushed and informal. So after she had formally (not that she needed it considering how much she knew about them) been introduced to the three boys (Erick, Richard and Joel) apart from Zabdiel, she began talking to them. After a while she had felt thirsty and excused herself to get some water. She had gotten up from the couch and headed towards the small pantry room in their studio.

"Hermosa no está allí!" Erick yells as he stood up from the couch rushing towards her

But obviously before she could turn around and ask him what he meant she had stumbled on a a thin rope like thing, an icy cold bucket of water emptying onto her, as she fell over.

"Ayyy!! Ya deberías bañarse Zabdie!" A voice says as strings of laughter enters into the room.

Y/N growled as she sat down smoothing her hair, not even bothering to look up at the person. The rest of the boys looked (more like glared at the person who had just entered).

"Ayy...No sabie que tenias novia, Erick." The person speaks as he kneels down

"No es mi novia Papi.." Erick replies rolling his eyes.

Y/N cleared her hair away from her face as she saw an extended hand in front of her face..as she gratefully accepted it.

"Thank you..." She whispers as she looks at the boy straightening her posture.

Christopher Velez..her all time favorite member...

"Noo te precupes...and nena it's my fault..." The boy said as he looked at her.

'Shit...she was downright beautiful....' was all that crossed his mind as he gazed at her

Y/N's gaze shifted from his face to to his shirtless torso. Her face flushed into a shade of pink quickly diverting her gaze when she saw him cover his bare chest with his arms, feeling self conscious all of a sudden.

"Err...Okay! Hasta luego, tengo que ir! adiós Hermosa!" He says as he rushes off casually.

Christopher...Charming as always.

"Mi Amol... Let's get you dried up.. Chris is always - -" Zabdiel begins as he hands her out a towel allowing her to dry herself up

"I know... He's always like that..It's okay Z..Pranks are meant to be taken in a positive manner."

"Okay...well let's get you changed into something comfortable." Zabdiel says as he holds her hand and head towards a room to get clothes for her.

' ' '

"Oh come on! Dry up alreadyy!" Y/N groans as she uses a hair dryer to dry off her hair

Before she can grumble about how much she hated drying her hair, she hears a knock on the door

"Come in..." She says as she keeps drying her almost dry hair

She turns around as she sees Christopher standing next to the door nervously as he looked at her

"Oh come on in...Why are you standing there?"

"Oh...Sorry...I..." He nervously trails off as he closes the door behind and walks towards her.

"Te ves fimilar nos conocemos? " He asks as he looks at her as he thinks about it

"Oh... I'm Zabdiel's friend..Y/N!" She says as she turns towards him extending her hand

"Ah! Zabdie's British best friend...Ah ha...Nice to meet you Mi Amol.." Christopher says as he shakes her hand "I'm Chr- -"

"Christopher Velez...Yes I know you Chris..We have met before...Like once But it was rushed up..Your final performance? You're no stranger to me.." She says as she looks at him

"Ah..I remember now! Well glad to know that.. You're a pop artist right? I've heard a good amount of your songs and you are absolutely beautiful. I mean THEY sound abSoLuTeLY amazing! Not that I'm saying you aren't pretty Hermosa...But I- - " Chris begins

"Thank you..Means a lot from you.." she replies as she looks down trying to hide her light blush

"Well of course! So you listen to Latin Pop?"

"I actually do..."

"Well, so umm..do you listen to our music?" He asks nervously

"I love your music..I love your band! I consider myself a CncOwner!" She states proudly

"Is it - - Is it because Zabdiel is a part of the band?"

"Started off that way...But your music's too good NOT to be heard..."

"Thanks...Appreciate the support!" Christopher says as he smiles at her

"Of course!" She states as she returns the gesture.

"I wanted to apologize..About earlier." He apologizes looking down

"Oh Chris! It happens! It's absolutely fine!" She reassure him

"I swear it wasn't meant for you.."

"It was for Zabdiel...I know..Not like you were expecting me..And for the record..He did need a bath.."

"I know right! I was just being a supportive caring respectful friend.."

"But next time...Keep a little bit warmer water..that was ABSOLUTELY freezing!" She says as she giggles a bit

"Yeah sure...and..one more thing.." He says

"Yes?" She questions

"How did you understand what I was speaking in Spanish?" He asks her

"My mother's from Puerto Rico and my dad's British..So Spanish is like my mother tongue...I'm just a bit more comfortable with English in comparison to Spanish." She states

"Oh..That's why you seemed to understand..." Chris says as he nods understandingly

"Yes..." She replies

"It was nice talking to you Y/N.." He says as he smiles at her

"You too Christopher.." She remarks

' ' '

The chemistry between the two was spontaneous and exciting..almost inevitable..

She had loved how carefree he was, his smile and his overall personality.

But around her, Christopher Velez was another different person. Someone shy and reserved.

He would try to impress her by adding in a few more dramatic pushups and increased his speed on the treadmill whenever she came over and worked out with Zabdiel. He'd get her stuffs she'd casually mention in random conversations with him or the other boys.

He'd even write cliché poems and short one liner quotes inside a personal journal of his he started maintaining after they had formally became friends, but made sure no on ever found them.

' ' '

"Okay..I understand..sure..whenever you are free...Bye.." (Y/N) speaks as she hangs up the phone as she sighs and removes off her heels, as she lays frustrated on her couch.

She began lazily flopping around with her phone from app to app..She was disappointed...but not as disappointed as she expected to be...

She knew she didn't love him intensely..but she was willing to give a try. Her present boyfriend had some sort of feelings for her and vice versa so they dated. Well...at least that's one of the reasons she dated him...

The main reason she dated him was to get over her feelings for Christopher that were growing stronger day by day. She liked him..it was way too obvious. But he never showers any signs of interest in her..For she was one of his girl friend..nothing special.. Sure he had showered her with compliments and got her things she liked but he did that with every single girl friend of his...Or at least that's what she reckoned.

So she thought that her feelings for Christopher would disappear overnight as soon as she began dating her current boyfriend..but nothing worked..Soon eventually some sort of feelings grew and she felt a good amount of attachment and love towards him..

The first few weeks were great..she felt better with her boyfriend..but soon after he began cancelling out plans and barely managing time for her..

"(Y/N/N)?!? You're still here?" Asks a voice from her door

Her head darts towards the source and there she sees Christopher standing

"Chris?! What are you doing here?" She asks as she looks at him

"Well..Zabdie had left his jacket in here and I had left a few of my things in here... Aren't you supposed to be on a date today?" Chris asks although his tone is sour as he walks inside

"Andrew's caught up with a bit of work.." (Y/N) replies as she walks towards the kitchen where Chris begins raiding her fridge

"Of course he is.." Chris mumbles as he rolls his eyes

"What was that supposed to mean?" She asks, narrowing her eyes at Chris

"He always does this..He always stands you up almost every single time...Are you guys honestly dating?"

"Of course...We are..." (Y/N) trails off, her tone uncertain

"Well he absolutely isn't treating you the way you are supposed to..."

"Christopher Velèz..You have absolutely no rights to comment about my personal life.." She replies her tone stern

"I'm just stating facts! And I am your friend..I spoke what I felt!"

"Oh please Velèz..what do you know about being in a steady relationship?"

"I've been in more relationships..than you have ever been in. And besides, it's the third time this week he's postponed your plans (Y/N/N)..."

"I know Chris...I know I should do something but..I love him..and he said he was caught up with some work.. He said he'd make time later.. I understand that work is hectic for the both of us.." She explains

"He's hurt you numerous times..with his words and actions..And yet here you are getting hurt..and doing nothing about it..You deserve better (Y/N).." He says as he looks away

"How dare you? I absolutely love him! You've never been in love before! You don't even understand the feeling!" She snaps feeling slightly angry at him for saying that even though she knew he was partially right.

All he wanted to do was scream out that he did know how it feels..He knew the feeling of liking and pinning on someone who's boyfriend was nothing but a jerk who'd make her feel nothing but bad and terrible about her perfect self!

"He's not good enough for you!" Christopher yells back suppressing his thoughts

"What do you know? What do you mean? Why do you care?" She questions him angrily

Because he did care more than he could admit. He liked her more than he could ever admit.All he wanted to do was hug her and let her cry onto his shoulder until the pain fades away..whisper soothing words into her ears..and tell her how much he loves her,give her what she deserves and treat her the way she should have been treated...

But he couldn't...She was someone else's girl..he couldn't ruin their relationship for his petty jealous feelings..Despite how much of a jerk her boyfriend was...SHE loved HIM and not Christopher... So he couldn't change anything...

So he did what he could...he walked away.. because at the end of the day that was the only possible solution..

' ' '

"If you're going just going to sit and stare at him...He'll end up dating someone else.." Joel remarks as he slowly begins drinking a pint

"De acuerdo, Hermosa, creo que deberías hablar con él y dile como te sientes" Erick comments as he follows her gaze

"Nope..He doesn't feel the same.." She remarks as she removes her glare from all the girls surrounding Christopher as she quickly gulps down a glass of shot

"You won't know until you tell him Mamita.." Richard remarks as he empties a few glasses of shots

"I do know how he feels..and he certainly doesn't feel anything out of the ordinary for me..." She remarks as she gulps down a few more shots a bit too quickly

"Mi Amol..I think you should relax on your dosage..You would end up with those terrible headaches.." Zabdiel says as he snatches the pint from her hands.

"Yeah Shawty...This ain't really healthy. Could wreck ya down ya know?" Richard comments as he gulps down a few more shots

"Is that a challenge Yashel?" She asks as she looks at the Dominican.

"Mamita...I was just kidd - -" Richard begins

"Now you're siding off Camacho? I thought you were a pretty up-to- challenges sorta lad.."

"I am that typa lad...But nope...Not regarding things like these.."

"So...I'm gonna assume that you're just a wet blanket...Essh..I expected better from you Camacho.."

"Oh it is so on (Y/L/N) Get ready to lose Mamita.." Richard comments, a competitive look on his face, followed with groans from the boys

"Mi Amol...I think you - -"

"Oh we'll see who'll lose..." She replies as she smirks at him.

' ' '

Of course, she had won. (well..it ended in a tie.). But that night was one of the most drunk she had ever gotten..Her eyes were glossy as she stumbled around barely managing to stand still, Richard possessing minimal control over himself as he began ranting about something in Spanish whilst raw tears flooded his face..

"Richu...A- - Are you OooKaY?" She asks as she holds onto the wooden table.

"Just emotional...he'll be fine.." Joel reassures her as he replies to Richard's rant in Spanish.

Zabdiel held her arm as she leaned onto him for support, as her eyes darted around the place as if searching for someone.

"(Y/N/N)...who are you sea- -" He begins as she glares at something, Zabdiel's gaze follow hers

"(Y/N/N)...Are you..." Zabdiel trails off as she glares at the girl flirting with Chris.

"I don't- - I- - don't care!" She slurs as she shakes her head "Zab...Dance with me.." She comments as she grabs onto Zabdiel's arm

"No Mi Amol...I don't quite like the entire atmosphere..."

She knew he liked his quiet and peace a bit too much...So even in her drunk state she reluctantly agreed and walked towards the dance floor alone..avoiding unwanted older men and just having fun.

After a while she felt two arms wrapping around her waist. She immediately turned around and her gaze fixated on warm chocolate brown eyes.

"Mami no sabia que eras una borracha guapa.." speaks the voice

She could recognize that voice from anywhere..Chris...

"que tu quieres Velèz?" She asks as her eyes glare onto him

"Y por qué debo, Chris? Pensé que eras muy contento con tu novia?" She snaps, her tone jealous

"Novia? Mami ella no es mi??" Chris begins

"Solo ve Vèlez.." She remarks as she removes his arms around her waist

"Estoy preocupada por ti mamita.." He says

"Estas preocupada por mi? Por qué? Espérate, Zabdiel te pidió que vigilarme?" She asks annoyed

"No Hermosa...He di- -"

"Just leave Chris..." She insists as she removes her gaze from him

"But Ma- -" Chris begins but gets interrupted as someone comes up and stands Infront of Chris

"Papi..you said you'd be back in a minute..." A redhead speaks as she presses her body against Chris's as she pouts sadly at him

"Emily..I - -" Chris begins

"Yeah go ahead Chris...she's waiting!" Y/N says, her tone annoyed and jealous

The girl just gives Y/N a disgusted look as she grabs onto Chris' arm leading him towards somewhere else as she mildly grinded onto him as she swayed her hips..

Under any other circumstances..she would have left the scene...not wanting to cause any drama. But the alcohol in her system was too high.. she obviously wasn't in her right senses but somewhere deep down inside...probably in her subconscious mind she knew what she was going to do was probably the only last option she had..Now or NEVER!

She walked upto Chris...whose gaze was already fixated on her as she stood in between Chris and the girl whatever her name was.

"What do YOU think you're doing!?" The girl asks as she glared at Y/N

"None of your business b*txh!" Y/N snaps harshly, raising her middle finger at the girl as she glared back as she held a grip on Chris' arm dragging him away from the redhead..

She dragged him to a partially covered area from the rest of the club.

"Y/N are you--"

"I'm sorry but if I don't I'll die in regret.." She interrupts him

"What do - -" Chris begins as she cuts him off halfway leaning forward

Chris' breath hitched as his eyes widened in shock and surprise when she leaned in and pressed her lips against his, her eyes shut. After a few split seconds he gave in and kissed back...

She pulled away slowly yet reluctantly her face flustered as her eyes remained glossy.

"Chris...Oh god! I just -- I love you Chris! Why don't you understand?" Y/N says as she looks at him, her eyes gleaming with sadness

"It hurts me every time..EVERY.SINGLE.TIME! I keep wondering why.. just why couldn't it be me? Why someone else? What do they have that I don't? Why can't you like me the way I like you! Not as a friend..something more! I've always been attracted to you since forever yet all you do is look at those girls the way I want you to look at me! Why Chris? Just why?" She asks hopelessly as she harshly blinks away the tears that threatened to fall, her attempts unsuccessful

"Hermosa- -Please stop crying- -" Chris says as he wipes a tear from her cheek

"Sorry- -I'm sorry...Just forget any of this happened! I'm just acting..I'm not myself..Sorry..." She says as she tries to walk away, but Chris grabs her wrist pulling her towards him

"Chris what- -" She begins her words cut off as Chris crashed his lips onto hers.

The kiss was soft, quick yet passionate. She blushed, as she kissed back.. The feeling of his lips against hers felt so right. Like it was meant to be.

"I...I like you that way too Hermosa.." He says as he pulls away..his gaze elsewhere.

"Really Papi?" She asks innocently as her eyes gleamed with a new emotion

"Si..." Chris replies as he looks at her

"Let's get out of here and go somewhere comfortable and private.." She says as she grabs his arm as she drags him out.

As they both walked towards the exit, The boys saw the two and stared at them in surprise.

"Wait...She confessed??" Zabdiel asks surprised

"My ship is sailing!!! Yayyyy!!!" Erick comments as he smiles brightly

"I don't want to be an UNCLE yet!! Richard slurs as he continues to sob about something

"Erick....You promised me popcorn! Where's my popcorn?" Joel asks pouting sadly, obviously drunk.

' ' '

Christopher opens the door of their place allowing her in. She gives him a lopsided smile as she walked (more like stumbled inside). He helped her towards Zabdiel's room as that's where she always slept.

"Now sit here okay? I'll be back." Chris assures her as he walks towards his room, cleaning himself up and changing into something comfortable.

He walked back into Zabdiel's room to check on (Y/N)..She walked out of the bathroom, in a bathrobe hanged messily onto her body...

"Oh my! (Y/N)!! Ahhh!! I'm sorry!" Chris stutters as his face turns red as he shielded his eyes with his hands.

He had seen countless amount of girls fully exposed in front of him..Yet here he was blushing like a tomato seeing her half exposed chest.

(Y/N) wrapped the bathrobe around her tighter as she looks at him equally embarrassed.

"I thought- - I-- I mean- - You'd wan- -t a- -sh- -ir- t..." Chris stutters, his eyes still shut

"Thanks..." She replies as she grabs the shirt and the shorts he'd handed her

' ' '

Chris had made her bed for her, arranging everything she needed before she slept.

"Chris..." A voice speaks as Chris turns around

There she stood next to the bathroom door as she had messily changed into the clothes Chris had handed her. He walked over towards her as he helped her re adjust her clothes.

"Thanks..." She mumbles as she looks at him

Chris nodded as he helped her towards the bed..She stops him in between and he looks at her

"Hermosa..is there a problem?" He asks nervously

She speaks nothing but merely kisses him..He melts into the kiss and she interlocking her arms around his neck as soon as he bit her lower lip as she let out a soft whimper..He smoothly slid in his tongue as he savored every inch of her as her hands trailed into his hair, his arms wrapping around her waist.

They pulled away when air was a necessity..Christopher immediately feeling guilty..He knew she was too drunk to decipher what she was doing and was sure she didn't like him the way he did.She tugged onto his shirt as she slowly looked at Christopher..

"No! No absolutely not Hermosa.." He says as he slowly pushes her away from him

"Why? Don't you love me?" She asks as he sighs

"No hermosa, estas absolutamente borracha. No podía aprovecharme de ti." He replies as he looks at her

"I understand..But tomorrow we mustn't wake up thinking all of this was a huge joke..okay?" She says as pecks his lips one more time

"We'll..we'll see..Just take some rest for now..." He says as she lays down on the bed

She hums in response as Christopher wraps the blanket around her. As he stood up to leave, she holds his arm

"no me dejas, duerme conmigo.." She says as she looks at him lovingly

"no, no puedo..." He says as he looks away

"Please...Don't leave..Just one night." She says

"No..I.." He begins

"I usually cuddle onto something.." She blurts out interrupting him

"I'll.. I'll get you something to.."

"Oh Chris..Siempre soñé con dias que puedo tenerte a mi lado y dormir contigo. "

"Hermosa... I'm not.."

"Please?"

Chris sighed as he takes a spot next to her in the bed..(Y/N) scoots closer towards Chris as she wraps her arms around his clothed torso..

Christopher felt the entire scenario was wrong.. He's going to wake up into reality and the girl he liked would probably not even feel the same about her..

"Te amo Chris..." She murmurs as she softly closes her eyes, smiling softly

Christopher felt his heart swell up with an emotion he didn't know he was capable of possessing..

Oh how he wished how all of her words were true..He wished the kiss was true and honest..not just a drunk mistake..and despite how wrong it was to sleep next to her..he knew he'd never be capable of telling her how he felt face to face..So one night of all this wasn't going to hurt anyone..

' ' '

(Y/N) woke up, her hands wrapped onto something...rather someone. The feeling was absolutely beautiful..It wasn't Zabdiel for sure because she wouldn't be able to feel his chest completely considering how tall he was..she liked the warmth the person possessed..Her eyes opened slowly as her gaze fell upon on a perfect mess of brown shabby hair...

Her eyes widened as she say a full clothed sleeping Christopher Velez in front of her. She sat up quickly in surprise as she merely blinked at him.

"Oh my god!" (Y/N) shouts a bit too loud causing Christopher to wake up

He looks at her, his eyes widened as he sat up on the bed quickly away from her..

She spoke nothing but merely stood up from the bed and walked into the bathroom..allowing herself to fully freak out peacefully whilst the tap water ran loudly.

What was she doing sleeping with Christopher? What had happened last night? Did she do something stupid?

Probably Chris was extremely tired and found a empty spot next to her and laid down and slept. Nothing was awkward right? Big deal!

She came outside with a terrible headache...Of course..She had been terribly drunk last night..She groaned and sat on the bed in pain..

"Here...take these.." Chris says as he hands her over a glass of water and a tablet of Aspirin.

(Y/N) looked at Christopher as she shoots him a grateful smile as she takes the tablet and gulps it down with the glass of water, Christopher leaving the room.

' ' '

(Y/N) walked downstairs, heading off to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. Her headache had worn off quickly. She grabbed a bowl and tried to reach for the cereal box in the cabinet from above her, successfully being unsuccessful. Zabdiel walked over, opened the cabinet and took down the cereal box handing it over to her.

"I almost had it Z..." She says as her cheeks puff up in annoyance

"That's why you were jumping up and down for five minutes straight.."

"Zab...You could have let me try at least.."

"Mi Amol..Come on.. Let's eat already.." Zabdiel says as he grabs a carton of milk from the fridge

They sat down together and began eating as they begin talking about random stuffs.

Erick entered the room with a wide smile on his face..as he sent a knowing smirk to (Y/N). Joel followed suite, Christopher trailing behind him as they came and sat on their table.

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at a now smirking Erick and a widely smiling Joel..Christopher had taken his breakfast and settled on the couch, to avoid conversations.

Richard walked in as he grabbed his breakfast and settled next to Christopher, after sending her a smirk.

Why was everyone smirking at her? Did something happen last night?

After breakfast, Zabdiel told her he wanted to talk to her. They both walked into Zabdiel's room as he locked the door..

"Why is everyone acting so strange Zab? Did something happen last night?" She asks genuinely confused

"I'm supposed to be asking you that mi Amol..." He replies

"I don't remember..Could you tell me how drunk was I last night?"

"Probably the most drunk I've seen you..." He states

"Why do I have a feeling that I've done something stupid?" Y/N asks to no one in particular

"You tell me mi Amol..." Zabdiel says as he stretches a bit

"I need time Zab...Give me a minute.."

Y/N tries to remember whatever had happened last night..and within a few minutes..Every single memory hits her like a wave...

"Oh my...I SOUNDED LIKE AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT!! I NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO CHRIS! HE THOUGHT I DIDN'T - - OH MY ZABDIEL! I MESSED UP!! I'M AN IDIOT! WHAT DO I DO?!?" She asks

"Go and talk to him (Y/N/N)...stop panicking and tell him how you really feel.."

"NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! I CAN'T! HE DOESN'T - - "

"Okay...Live in regret that you never told him how you felt because you were a scared chicken.." Zabdiel says interrupting her

"ZABDIEL DE JESUS! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND? AND BEST FRIENDS HELP ONE ANOTHER AT THE HOUR OF NEED! I NEED YOUR ADVICE RIGHT NOW! I'M IN A CRISIS!" She yells in frustration

"I'm giving you advice and you are literally not accepting them...I am trying to help you but you are just panicking.." Zabdiel says as he rolls his eyes

"I MEANT PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS!" She yells back

"It did seem pretty practical last night huh (y/n/n)?" He asks

"OH MY GOD!! I'M GOING TO- -" She begins

"Stop panicking mi amol...Just tell him how you truly feel..things will eventually turn out good.." He says interrupting her

"But what if he doesn't like me...?"

"Trust me...you won't be disappointed.." Zabdiel reassures her

' ' '

"Christopher...Could I talk to you for a second?" Y/N asks as she enters the music room in their place, Christopher and Joel sitting and discussing something "I mean..that's if you're not too busy.." She adds on nervously as she looks at Joel and Christopher

Christopher looks at Joel as he nods quickly letting Christopher off..

The both of them walk towards the pool side of the lads' place. The both of them awkwardly stood there staring at the now interesting pool.

"You-- -you said you wanted to talk.." Chris says as he breaks the silence

"Yes...Look...I owe you a huge apology.. what I did yesterday night was absolutely stupid.. I'm sorry..I shouldn't have forced you into anything.." she says nervously, sighing softly

"It's okay Y/N...You were drunk..Hope things aren't going to change between us.." Chris says as he forces a small smile despite the fact that his heart was aching in pain as he turns around walking away

"Chris WAIT!" She says a bit too loud

"Huh? Everything fine?" He asks turning around

"I have..I have something..to tell you!" She says as she looks at him

"What?" He asks her

"This...This..Whatever I said yesterday...they weren't completely wrong..well at least most of it..I really do like you more than a friend..I always have..You were always my favorite member..not Erick. I've liked every single little thing about you and..I don't know.."

"If you did like me why did you date Andrew?"

"The reason I dated Andrew wasn't because I knew you wouldn't feel the same about me..And I had to get over my petty feelings...But Christopher listen..I absolutely understand if you don't feel the same about me! It's absolutely okay! I just had to tell you this...I hope we can still stay friends.." Y/N rambles as she tries to walk away.

"So I don't get to speak?" Chris asks her

"Christopher...I really don't want to hear you let me down..I spoke what I felt honestly.." She replies

"Who said I was going to let you down? Besides I like you that way too Hermosa.."

"It's fine Chris..You don't need to convince me..I can handle rejection you know? Don't force yourself to feel that way.."

"But I do... You're the only girl I honestly feel something for..All those things had special meanings attached to it when I did them to you..and last night I just wished..the kisses and everything you said about liking me were true.."

"So does that mean..." Y/N begins as Christopher shuts her up with a quick kiss.

"You're my girlfriend!" Chris winks at her as she rolls her eyes and kisses him...

~ ~ ~

She was overjoyed and was satisfied with her relationship with Chris.

His flirty self always caught her blushing..his cringy pickup lines..his overall charm all captivated her and she enjoyed her time with him..

But somewhere deep down inside she knew that Christopher wasn't a settle-on-a-girl sorta guy..He was more of a on-the-go sorta guy..So she was scared..Scared that she wasn't good enough to make him stay..So somewhere deep down inside she knew it wasn't practical to expect or rather wish for such a sort of relationship with Chris...

Chris had come home at midnight as he walked into her place..He was tipsy but yet somehow managed to control himself..

Y/N let him in angrily as she closed the door behind him.

"We need to talk Chris.." She begins

"Talk... I'll listen.." Chris says

"A conversation is two sided...I need your involvement in here too.."

"Okay...What's the matter?" He asks as he rolls his eyes

"Why do you have a lipstick stain on your cheek?!?" She asks, her eyes widening

"Some girl kissed me..."

"And you kissed her back?!"

"It was just a kiss...nothing more.. You're acting like I hooked up with someone or something..."

"Everything isn't a joke VELÈZ! Try to be a bit serious at times! You walk in at midnight, have a lipstick stain on your cheek and you ask me what's my problem?!? You practically glare of ANY guy that approaches me and get jealous in an unhealthy manner!"

"You're just being dramatic right now (Y/N)..." Chris remarks as he rolls his eyes "They're just random strangers.."

"So it's fine if you can go around kissing random strangers but you have a problem if I approach a guy.."

"There's a difference..in that... It's not like that!"

"Then tell me what's it like?!?"

"Stop acting like the annoying bXtch you are!"

"HOW DARE- - YOU know what... Let's end this right here right now!"

"Are you fXckin serious??"

"Yes! This isn't going anywhere!"

"What?!"

"This entire thing was a mistake...It was something petty! A petty fling! You aren't capable of loving someone apart from yourself Christopher! You are just so damn selfish!"

"Don't give me that tone!" He yells

"You know that it's true...You can't survive without your usual hookups and your one night stands now can you?" She taunts him

"No...I can't! Happy? Satisfied? You know what...I don't even like you..All of it was just a stupid joke..You are just an unwanted prick and a clingy little thing...I could never commit to you..I never felt anything romantic for you and the worst thing is that I felt something stronger to my previous hookups than I've ever felt for you.." Chris shouts as he glared at her

She paused for a second before she regained her posture

"Well since we both don't feel anything towards each other it would be better if we stopped this...thing between us..whatever you'd like to call it..." She says as she looks at him sternly

"Glad that you realized it this soon.." he says as he heads towards the door

"Glad we're in an agreement Velèz.." She says as she slams the door shut, her eyes gleaming with grief and pain.

~ ~ ~

Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are?

Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart.

Christopher didn't cry...no absolutely not..He was used to this..He was used to having girlfriends for a week.. a month..or maybe two. But after (Y/N) had left him...He felt lost in a way..He felt a sort of emptiness

He tried sleeping with other girls..trying to ease off this unexplained pain he was undergoing..but nothing could ease the pain...

He found his thoughts drifting off..all of them all over and over about her...

From simple baking to anything she liked..very little thing reminded him about her..

She obviously would have moved on.. Why wouldn't she? She's got the looks. Why does he care? The both of you had broken off..And like he said you meant nothing to him...

Everything around him seemed less brighter with her by his side..What was he even feeling? Was this normal? Normal to feel like this?

He was definitely not himself.The liveliness in him was still alive..but it was evidently missing something..at least that's what his heart told him..

~ ~ ~

Are you all dressed up but with no where to go?

Are your tears falling down when the lights are low?

Another Friday night tryna put on a show

Do you hate the weekend cause nobody's calling?

Christopher sat on his bed as he checked his phone for the 27th time at the same minute. He scrolled through their chats again and again..as if it provided him an odd source of relief.

He looked at it anxiously..as if somehow expecting her to miraculously text him when he was the one who messed the entire relationship up...

He put down the facade when he was alone...mostly when the guys were sound asleep or had gone out for any occasion...He'd cry as hard as he wanted..the pain returning and striking harder every time a tear slipped down his cheek...

The space and loneliness was evident..almost suffocating.

~ ~ ~

I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin

So darling put a little love on me

Put a little love on me

He felt something..something weird for her...Something he hadn't felt with any girl he had met. Whatever he felt hadn't died...It was still there. He realized a sort of unpleasant, stinging pain every time he thought about letting her go.

He was hurt...More than he could admit..But somehow only more love and attachment filled his shattered heart..The love in his heart was never put outside...It was hidden. Even when he was with her, it was hidden.

He didn't want himself to get hurt..he knew he'd be taken advantage of.. that's why he never tried to love anyone romantically..He was scared..Scared that if he showed them how vulnerable he was... they'd use it against him.. That's why he stayed passive and inexpressive..He was scared she'd leave him for someone better.

~ ~ ~

When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing

I look around as my heart is collapsing

You're the only one I need

So put a little love on me

Everyone around him was happy.. Everyone at the pubs, concerts, parks, restaurants and streets had their special someone...everyone apart from him..Instead of being angry.. he felt lonely..upset...

He could have been there..enjoying the same..if he wouldn't have let the only one girl he felt something for...not for his fame or how great he was at bed..but just because of what he was inside out.. Overlooking his flaws and loving him for who he was not what other people and the media said he was..

The heaviness in his heart increased, when he realized she was gone...He felt as if his heart was almost collapsing slowly shattering into small tiny yet irreparable pieces...

They pretended to move..at least he did.but deep down inside..somewhere he knew she was the only one he needed right now...

X- X- X

#one direction #cnco #cncosongfic #christopher velez #richard camacho #zabdiel #erick colon #joel pimentel #put a little love on me #songfic #love #heartbreak

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xxisxxisxxis · 5 years ago

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Twenty-Eight

Table of Content or Part Twenty-Seven

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Word Count: 2.1k

Warning(s): Language, Hints at drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

-------------------------------------------------------

Once we get on the road, I glance over at Nikki before reaching for his free hand, lacing my fingers through his.

I notice him side eye me before smirking to himself.

We park a block down from the Rainbow and when I get out, I regret not wearing pants.

It's not freezing by any means, but it's in the mid 60s with a little wind blowing.

A small shiver runs through me, and Nikki's locking the car and sliding his jacket off, handing it to me.

"Thank you." I say to him, putting it on and thanking God he creates as much body heat as he does because it's like a portable heater.

"Mmhmm." He replies. "I don't know why you didn't bring your jacket."

"It wouldn't have looked good with this." I state in terms of my outfit.

"You can wear anything and still look good." He tells me flatly as if it's common sense and I rub my red lips together and hook my hand around his arm.

We get into the Rainbow and step to our booth, Vince, Tommy and Mick already laughing their asses off over something, and when we get to them Tommy's practically shoving his tongue down Nikki's throat.

"Sixxter!" He tipsily exclaims, putting his arm over Nikki's shoulders and kissing his cheek. "Fuckin' missed you, man." He tells him and Nikki chuckles as I slide in beside him, taking his jacket off of me.

There's lingering groupies as always, although there's more of them now than before the guys had a decent amount of fame.

I feel skin rub against my leg, which confirms there's a girl under the table giving someone a blow job and I roll my eyes.

Nikki orders a beer, I get a Pepsi, and a brunette groupie that's got her eyes on Nikki gets a high dose of audacity and utilizes it.

"Can I have a sip of that?" She asks Nikki when he gets his beer and I raise my brows, turning to glare at her, and then him, when he looks me in the eye, smirks, and hands her the beer.

The guys are completely silent, studying me to gauge my reaction and I roll my jaw.

"Down Kitty." Vince jokes as the girl hands Nikki's bottle back, making sure to make a show of wiping the drop of beer left on her bottom lip with her manicured fingers, not looking away from him.

"Thanks." She says, glancing at me as if to brag, and I ignore her and look straight ahead, not giving her the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of me...I'll handle Devil Spawn when we get home.

I just get up, mumbling that I'm going to the bathroom.

"Baby, c'mon, it was a joke." Nikki chuckles out.

"Lick my clit." I snap at him, not giving him a second glance before stepping to the bathroom, hearing Vince and Tommy "Ohh" and "Damn" at my harsh response to him.

I get in the bathroom, tears lining my eyes, and see a mass of fluffy blonde hair standing at the mirror beside the one I end up standing in front of.

First glance, I think it's a woman...Second glance, maybe?

I take a third look, realizing it's a man touching up his foundation and I mind my own business and stop my mascara from running by grabbing a paper towel out of the dispenser quick enough to catch the pair of tears trying to leak out of my eyes.

Something falls into the sink infront of me and I furrow my brows and look down, seeing a tube of mascara.

I look at the only one that it could belong to and pick the tube back up, handing it out to him.

"You can use some when you get done crying your's off." He tells me calmly, his accent a dead give away that he's certainly not from around here, continuing to touch up his own makeup.

I go to argue but he cuts me short.

"It's mascara, not a used needle."

He's got a point and I can't help but smile a little at his response, continuing to dab at my eyes with the papertowel, drying my tears.

"I have to use the girl's room because I get in to fights any time a guy walks in and I'm putting on makeup." He explains to me. "I don't like being called a 'fag'."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." I assure him, throwing the paper towel away. "And if being a 'fag' means you wear more makeup than most women but still have chicks throwing themselves at you, then so be it."

I reapply my mascara and hand it back to him, saying an appreciative "thanks" just as the bathroom door bursts open.

"Babe, c'mon, you gotta come meet this dude, you're gonna fuckin' freak." Nikki tells me, his hand wrapping around my wrist.

"What? Who?" I furrow my brows.

"Razzle."

"Who's that-"

"Hanoi Rocks' drummer?" He reminds me. "They're touring here and we just met him, like, right after you left and..." Nikki trails off, noticing the blonde dude in the bathroom with us.

"By all means, go on." He nods to Nikki with a proud smile on his face that completely frames his high cheek bones and wide, blue eyes.

I found out in that moment I had shared eyelash germs with the one and only Michael Monroe, lead singer of Hanoi Rocks.

I'd heard their music through Nikki and Tommy, and Duff really dug them, too.

I remember thinking Mike was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Like Axl Rose, he looked like a really gorgeous woman at certain angles, and I hated them for it because they really didn't know how freaking flawless they looked.

Michael didn't just have an abnormally beautiful exterior, his spirit, heart, and soul, were just as phenomenal and that made a lasting impact on me so much so that I named one of my children after him.

I discovered the kind of person he was in December of 1984 when tradgedy struck Hanoi Rocks and Mötley Crüe and he and his bandmate Andy McCoy stayed with me and Nikki for a little bit.

I'll get into all that soon.

I step out of the bathroom after Nikki and Michael talk a bit and exchange numbers, and Nikki guides me to our table and I hear a thick british accent before I can see Razzle that well.

He's got on a top hat with a red scarf tied around it, his sunglasses resting on the rim of it, a polkadotted tie is around his neck and he's wearing a dark red velvet overcoat.

His eyes are lined with black liner and he's showing off a mouthful of teeth with his contagious smile.

"Razz, man, this is Viv." Nikki introduces me.

"This your missus?" He asks him in disbelief, and I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing he's asking it that way. "Oh, she's beautiful, Nikki...what the bloody hell is she doin' with you?" He chuckles at his own joke and the guys join in while Nikki laughs it off with them.

"Nah, the real star is Tansy." Vince informs him as Nikki and I sit down.

"Who?" Razzle asks and Vince and Tommy look completely offended before Vince is pulling his wallet out and grabbing a piece of paper out of it.

Once he unfolds it, it's an entire page torn out of an issue of Playboy, and I'm assuming Tansy is somewhere on it because he points to something to show Razzle and the drummer's mouth drops open and his eyes get wide.

"I definitely want to meet her." He comments and I reach across the table and snatch the paper from Vince and crumple it up.

"Viv!" He whines at me, trying to reach for it over the table and I shove it in my bra and raise my brows at him. "That just makes me wanna get it even more." He informs me.

"If you want me to castrate you with my nails, you'll reach down my shirt." I promise and him, Nikki, Tommy, Mick, and Razzle wince at the thought.

"That's fine. I'll get all I want when our girl's December issue comes out." Vince smirks, winking at me and I roll my eyes.

"Swine." I insult him.

"Prude." He shoots back before his face gets suddenly really smug as if he remembers something. "Actually..." He fumbles with his wallet again before pulling out a polaroid. "...I suppose I should stop calling you that."

He waves it, Razzle and Mick looking over his shoulder at it.

"Woah." Razzle mumbles.

"Don't be a fucking dick, Vince." Mick scolds him as Vince turns the picture for me to see.

It's me, wearing nothing but a pair of heels, on our mattress at home with my legs spread wide open, touching myself with my back arched, eyes closed, and lips parted in ecstasy.

I feel Nikki tense up beside me as embarassment and humiliation floods through me.

My face is burning red and I'm rendered speechless, glaring at Nikki, who's snatching it away from Vince.

"Where the fuck did you get this?!" He barks at him.

"The fuck are you talking about, Nikki, you fucking gave it to me." Vince argues.

"When?!"

"You were fucked up and gave one to me and one to Robbin." He adds and I snap my attention to my husband.

"You were just passing out our pictures?! What's next, making copies of our tape and tossing them into the audience at shows?!"

"You have a sex tape?!" Tommy suddenly pipes but it goes unacknowledged.

"Fucking bullshit, I've never been that fucked up where I'd willingly give you pictures of her like this!" Nikki throws at Vince.

Vince looks at him pointedly, his index finger hitting over the vein in the crook of his arm as if it were a needle and Nikki realizes he did indeed give him the picture, he just doesn't remember, because he was stoned out of his mind on smack.

If Razzle wouldn't have been Razzle, we would've scared him away and he never would've wanted to hangout with us again.

But he kept quiet and never once brought it up.

It's safe to say the Sixxes leave notorious first impressions.

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #douglas booth #colson baker #daniel webber #the dirt #the dirt movie #gateway drug

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