#*insert the this shit means something to me video i can't be bothered to find*

[elitehoe]

CHANGING THE WORLD TOGETHER

[mylawcitrus]

My actual job

I'm an English teacher, in case you didn't know. It's hard to "restart" on the internet, because usually I suppose the haters who brought you down (I've lost accounts, I've deleted accounts, and a bunch of people left me because of whatever reason) keep making sure you're still at the bottom, unless they're too tired and there's another person they wanna bother.

I wish that didn't sound controversial. I don't "bother" anyone, I put some kind of blind trust which we should all have second thoughts on to meet people with what I could say are mutual interests, but I have mistakes along the way, like criiticizing sex workers for spam. Those people are marginalized as fuck and trying to make a basic living. While I don't sell, I've had an OnlyFans account and the thing that happened with Pornhub, honestly, I don't understand until this day. It's just a website I visit once a week, maybe. Like, it's totally not what people seem to think, but who knows, with marketing these days.

About Omegle, I should pass the fucking baton to somebody else who understands shit about algorithms and moderation, because I just have a few stories of incredible people I met there and I happen to keep them in my mind. The way I've talked about it and maybe the way I've acted probably makes it sound like I see the website as a definitive instant camfuck thing. You're gonna find people who lean into that, but my history with it is a lot more than whatever I did in a given day or so, I've been visiting, on and off obviously, for 13 years. And apparently people don't realize that, or maybe they do, but that only makes me confused as fuck and I just want my safe space on social media and in life, please. Women who I've been with know the many sides of me and if they saw me laying in bed looking for online sex on Omegle they'd probably be like "dude, Tinder exists". I've heard precisely that from one of my exes. But I don't like Tinder.

And I'd like people to know that whoever uses your image for purposes that damage your honor and reputation are breaking the law. I've written about this. It seems that younger people started an "exposing culture" but forgot to be decent human beings. Maybe it's because we're not interested in their daily lives and we don't see that, and then they catch us doing stupid shit and wanna talk about it all day. There's different moments... I'm seeing such a lack of understanding around this topic! I was thinking that the webcam was somehing norrmal, now I'm supposed to think about whatever's happening on freaking Snapchat and I have days where I just wanna be left alone and have a good night of sleep, but wake up the next day and have something to look forward to, and if you can't understand that for many years that was talking to a special person on a video call, then I'm sorry, but I'll just go as far as saying: "we're different". But I sure hope there's an effort to understand my side, especially when frustration mounts and some stories and untold or badly told (very common).

The rest? I have tons of stuff I've published, I might not have a great idea to share every day but I'm a fucking human being, not generative AI. And precisely on that, they've inserted bias on the way that stuff is classified on the web and nobody's asking me how it all started, how I deal with stuff, whether or not I'm fucking okay, you know? And that shit sucks. So honestly, I hope people wake up to the fact that we have good and bad days, and if you're like a teenager who wants to do something you mom and dad wouldn't like you to do, I'm not saying don't listen to them. Its important to have guidance. But in my life I've done sstuff differently and I'm the one who deals with shit that I've set my mind on 20 years ago, and all I can say is I'm sorry if I've never compared the scale of things but today it's all very fast and this post may mean absolutely nothing, though it comes from a hard reality of being vulnerable as fuck and having to deal with intense scrutiny everywhere, for absolutely no reward, though I'm perfectly aware I shouldn't have a Nobel or anything, but like I said on Instagram, a little pat on the back would be pretty nice.

Thanks and if you're hanging on Live I'll say hi, but you can get to know me better if you want by exploring some of the stuff I've published or asking me about my music, my poetry, following me out of commaraderie or just sending good vibes, I'm not asking anyone to open their wallets but I have a Bandcamp, a Patreon and a Substack, so if you think this matters, the channel IS open.

Thanks again.