#*insert the “sex is cool and all but” meme here*

[steelthroat]

I found my favorite red gel pen after 2 months... my teacher (whom I've never in my entire life caught in the act of writing) had it -_-

Ffs brother, I thought I was the idiot for losing it, but it turns out you know how to write, apparently. I'm not mad, I'm surprised.

[piosplayhouse]

Ayo thank you for your contribution to society and world culture through the SVSSS iceberg, now if you don’t mind can you please explain it? I’ve been in the fandom a while but I swear I’ve never heard of some of these

Sure! Explanations will be sorted under the cut:

SHEN YUAN TIER:

- all items in this tier are either surface level details from the source material or

- daily bingpup is a popular fandom meme (used in the metal gear sense lmfao) started by @ kamkamquats on Twitter that's pretty self explanatory: kam draws and posts a bingpup picture every day! The archive is available here.

I probably should have made this point just bingpup, as I believe his origins precede kam's art, but she certainly boosted his popularity significantly, and now her art and bingpup are canonized with the publishing of the 4th volume English translation of the novel, so I thought it was a fun point!

LUO BINGHE TIER:

- Feynite's au collection: an extremely popular collection of alternate universe fics written by legendary Scum Villain fic author Feynite.

- Scum Villain is a tragedy: an interpretation of the books that poses that from every other perspective besides Shen Yuan's, Scum Villain is an incredibly depressing tragedy.

- Luo Binghe is Airplane's self insert: "Don't asky why Luo Binghe wasn't the embodiment of [Airplane's] ideal man; Luo Binghe's use had primarily been to fulfill his desire to be a badass and get revenge, as well as his desire for wanton [this section has been censored]" (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System volume 4, page 163).

- Shen Yuan died on his birthday: Shen Yuan's death date is never given in the original novels, but in the first scene of the donghua when he dies while at his computer, you can catch a glimpse at the date reading September 21st (both his birthday and the day svsss was published!)

- Shen Qingqiu's canon fursona: binghe compares sqq to a crane multiple times in the story but is depicted as a cat in fandom much more frequently, leading people to joke about how the fandom disregards his "canon" fursona in the same way bingpup is much more prevalent than sheep binghe.

- Shen Qingqiu can knit: there's official crossover Christmas merchandise that shows all of the mxtx couples participating in different holiday activities: wangxian are decorating a tree, hualian are baking cookies, and shen qingqiu is knitting a scarf for luo binghe.

- Luo Binghe's birthday: Luo Binghe is actually the only main mxtx character that doesn't have a canon birthday. He's noted in the books as being born on "the coldest days of the year", but it's debatable whether this is late December or early January, and there's no specific date from this that we can confirm is his birthday.

- sv manhua's indefinite hiatus: much to the excitement of starved fans, a Scum Villain manhua began publishing in 2019. It ran for a grand total of 3 wonderful weeks before being unceremoniously put on indefinite hiatus because of drama within the fanbase stemming from rumors that the artist/company drawing it actually hated scum villain. It has yet to return.

SHEN JIU TIER:

- Moshang's horrible first time: MXTX stated in a Q&A interview that neither Mobei-Jun nor Shang Qinghua enjoyed their first time having sex together.

- Shen Qingqiu invented maxi pads: the "scum villain pad commercial" is a commercial from the first season of the donghua depicting an exchange where Ning Yingying is self conscious about going out on her period because her sanitary supplies aren't cute, so Shen Qingqiu magics her up some maxi pads.

- Shen Yuan read mpreg yaoi: "#18 Peerless Cucumber [Expert]: Upthread, keep cool. This forum has a lot of Green JJ sisters 😎" (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System volume 4, page 145). / "''Great Master' Liu! Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky didn't write a green Jinjiang mpreg novel!'" (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System volume 4, page 295).

- Shen Jiu transmigrated into Shen Yuan: A somewhat popular theory in the fandom that when Shen Jiu died, he transmigrated into modern day Shen Yuan the same way Shen Yuan did to him.

- Cursed monkey island: Cursed monkey island is/was a private discord server made up of very og sv fans that was known for outputting somewhat dark/off-color/weird fics for each other, often with funny porn spoof names and niche concepts. The first fics from there were published in 2018, while the last fic in the collection seems to have been published in 2022, so they might still be active, but I'm not sure.

- Moshang has a 20 year age difference: Shang Qinghua died at at least age 20 (probably older) and since he transmigrated into a baby, he has 20 extra years of consciousness from his first life on the PIDW native characters, who he meets when they're both teenagers in the Airplane extras. Though physically the same age group, he would've been mentally somewhere around 30-40 years old at this point getting bullied by teenagers.

- The microwave: some of the first previews released for the donghua were static turnaround videos of the 3D models set to elevator music -- after these dropped, it was radio silence on the show's status for a long, long time. Fans called these previews "the microwave" because of the static rotation of the models and referred to the time it took for the donghua to come out as "defrosting it in the microwave". There's a fair amount of art/memes from this time period featuring the characters literally inside microwaves, even to the point where people made microwave-themed SV merch. When the donghua finally came out bingqiu were declared "free from the microwave" and a wave of fanart of them destroying microwave prisons emerged.

TIANLANG JUN TIER:

- Wangxian have read resentment of chunshan: in the mdzs audio drama extra episode "Accompanying you to sleep - Lan Wangji", Lan Wangji takes care of a drunk Wei Wuxian by getting him ready for bed. Towards the end of the episode, Wei Wuxian asks Lan Wangji to read him a bedtime story. Lan Wangji says he isn't good at telling stories and Wei Wuxian suggest he reads him The Resentment of Chunshan (bingqiu fanfiction). Unfortunately, Lan Wangji had never heard of it before and thereby could not ASMR it.

- Six Balls x Zhuzhi Lang: a rarepair (also called bamboo balls) written by the lovely Alex here.

- Shen Qingqiu has the protagonist halo: a theory/headcanon suggesting that when Shen Yuan transmigrated, the role of protagonist and subsequent protagonist halo left Luo Binghe and transferred onto him. Often used in angst canon divergences wherein due to the lack of a protagonist halo, Binghe dies from an event he otherwise would have survived because of his story invulnerability.

- Shen Yuan's sister found his dead body: an angst headcanon centering around the idea that Shen Yuan's sister found his dead body rotting in his apartment after he died- very good art made about this here!! (Gore/blood cw)

- Who is zhuzhi lang's dad: we all know zhuzhi-lang's dad was a big snake but what kind of big snake? How big? Why did his mom fuck him? all important questions heavily debated about in this fandom.

MOBEI JUN TIER:

- Every ship is cumplane: we already know Luo Binghe is Airplane's self insert, and Mobei-Jun's cold demeanor is somewhat reminiscent of Peerless Cucumber's tsundere wife-isms, making bingqiu and moshang arguable proto-cumplanes. However, we can go further and argue because Airplane created the entire world of PIDW, all of it in a way reflects him and his feelings, therefore meaning that because it loves Shen Qingqiu and Shen Qingqiu loves it back, every possible PIDW asset x sqq is cumplane in its basest form.

- Original donghua designs: the first pv for the donghua actually featured slightly different designs for bingqiu, which were then changed later in production! You can see the original ones here.

- PIDW is real: someone actually posted PIDW on jjwxc so you can get the real Shen Yuan experience.

SHANG QINGHUA TIER:

- Shen Yuan penetrated into the body of the scum villain: there is a listing for the svsss donghua on Amazon prime video (though no episodes are actually available) which features this banger summary:

 An ordinary youth, Shen Yuan, after reading the novel "Arrogant Gods and Demons' Journey", triggers the mysterious system so that he crosses into the book world and penetrates into the body of villain--Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu's disciple, Luo Binghe, is the main character of the novel.

- Airplane's foot fetish:

[gamerwoman3d]

Goodbye, Season of the Blood Moon

[And hopefully hello Cryomancer’s season]

[🔞Spicy/Explicit/Filthy / C̴̥͊͛U̶̲̣͆Ȑ̵̡͉̏̆S̶̥͙͊̉͜Ȩ̸̊D̸͙͍̯̾̓͝ after the cut🔞🩸]

This imagine has been marked cursed for your protection

CW: Blood, afab anatomy, monthy cycles

I wasn’t really a huge fan of the vampire skins. They are alright, some look pretty cool, some kharacters look better with pointy teeth and ashen makeup.

But after seeing this particular fanart of him, yea 😳

[Image is not mine, used for illustration purposes only, follow the link to see original source]

I can definitively state that I'd let vampire Bi-Han hold me by the throat and fuck me stupid anytime.

He got caught by vaternians and turned into this? He's being used as... a mindless warrior? Used as a bloodbank? Is he bloodthirsty, or is he just ... vaternian livestock?

I needz to know because if he's livestock, then I needz to get myself caught so I can waste their time gettin' into their breeding program, and if he's bloodthirsty then I needz him to know I just don't bleed except for once a month.

Like, I'm basically a turnip for 25 outta 28 days, I don't bleed when I'm cut or when the doctors need blood. My non-turnip days are spent eating chocolate and wrapping myself around a heat pack while "blood" trickles outta me from between my legs.

And here's the nasty part that's gonna freak SOME of y'all out, so skip the rest of it if you're squeamish - Period sex with this man would be phenomenal. He's already covered in blood, blood magic makes him stronger. To say he'd be uninhibited by the blood is an understatement because he'd make it his goal to get it to gush outta us.

Wasn't sure if I should use "I" or "you" here, but I don't wanna force anyone to imagine this scenerio so... Going with "I" but feel free to replace the "I's" with "you's" if you like that shit.

I could see him grabbing and kneading my belly underneath the naval while he's balls deep, trying to get the muscles to contract, *wanting* to feel the hot blood splurt from my cervix against his cockhead inside, *wanting* to feel himself pushing around those warm icky congealed blobs inside my sticky walls. I can see him *wanting* to fuck until a gory wet ring of red and stringy bits of a near-black ichor forms around the base of his cock. Grabbing, squeezing, fucking deep, forcing the clots to squish and gush down his balls, his aim to wring every drop of it out of that pussy like he needs it to live. He'd find new ways to wring me out, pump me full of aphrodisiacs to increase the blood flow and use overstimulation to cause crushing uterine contractions until I gush on him over and over again. My periods wouldn't be "just another Tuesday" anymore, a period fuck-session would be an all day event. My cycle would be his Burning Man, his rock festival, he'd plan to be there and rock out all week long, getting high af off of me.

He wouldn't just "tolerate" period sex; he'd fucking own it. It's his favorite time of the month, and the mess of it makes his cock feel so good.

[If there are any men reading I hope you don't freak out. I hope it's arousing in a good way. Insert "gee i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" memes here.]

[Need more MK1 smut? Check the pin 📌]

[onewomancitadel]

This is bordering on psychoanalysis but I don't think Tumblr's meme of cannibalism-as-metaphor-for-love/sex isn't because of a pretentious pseudo-intellectual trend catching on since it sounds cool, instead I would propose it is emblematic of an increasing shift of the erotic away from the sexual. I think it's telling despite more ostensible ease around the topic of sex than before, the erotic and the pornographic are becoming abstracted from each other, to the point that for something to be passionate it cannot be sexual.

I also think the taboo here of cannibalism is interesting, because it is a classic racist stereotype of colonialism (hence its shorthand for barbarism in fiction often being a racist shorthand) but it is also one of desperation (I read about the siege of Leningrad as a teenager and I think about it, often, often) - it's this strange intersection of lots of cultural ideas about the way people are supposed to eat and die.

But the divorce of the erotic from the sexual doesn't just emerge in the context of commercialised, objectified pornography, it is also a way to often navigate sexual taboo, e.g. this is why violence in film/television can stand in as metaphor for sex or flirting (foreplay); a cigarette can be phallic and suggest fellatio; and so on and so forth. In this case I would say that is the 'in-joke', whereas I would dispute that the divorce of the erotic and the sexual is much more serious and impressed upon the individual psychologically.

Consumption as a metaphor for love is not groundbreaking. In fact I would then further dispute that this is exactly why cannibalism has inserted itself so successfully - because there is that cultural bank to draw on. It is taboo (like the erotic), it is metaphor (the sexual act is abstracted, the 'in and out' is mechanical and divorced from libido, in the sense of intimacy and sexual desire but also the desire to live/love), it draws on eating (eat/sex is the vitality of life), it's bloody (body fluids, semen/vaginal fluids), it's got all the parts to make it facsimile of sex, tip-toeing around the shame of sex and the abstraction of sex. You would think that the latter can't really be related to the former, but that's untrue - they are precisely related. Pornography is titillating, commercialised, and objectifying because it is taboo, and exists solely to document the act divorced of every other human element - sexuality, emotion, empathy, belief, libido. (That is to say, the issues surrounding pornography in its cultural reception reproduce themselves). This is why I think sex scenes are more successful in television or film (a simulation of the act, 95% of the time) or erotica in writing (a different topic I've written about before) - or should be - because it is put back in context.

This is what people mean about the divorce between the erotic and the pornographic, and I don't think I have really seen it articulated this way. This is why you have the trend of 'cannibalism-as-love/sex' even though you wouldn't catch them dead thinking about the taboo of menstrual sex (bloody sex???) as I've seen some posts suggest they ought to. Fermenting in this trend is the shame of sex, the desire for the erotic, the abstraction of sex in the pornographic, and the lust for intimacy, the projection of taboo. It is trying to be as intimate as possible (the consumption of a human being inside you - oneness) without the weight of sex.

Is this a value judgement on the memetic transmission of cannibalism-for-love? It's more of an observation really, and I think these types of interactions/projections are more telling about deeper beliefs than I think they are individually 'wrong'. Many people want sex. Many people want love and to be loved. It is the reproduction of existence, not just literally, but in the sense of empathetic community bonds. Many people want to be able to talk about the sexual and the erotic together, navigating cultural taboo. Many people find stories about these ideas interesting, and being able to navigate sex through facsimile this way can be really rewarding.

You can say 'I want this person inside me' and it doesn't mean that you are an objectified thing, or that you aren't yourself anymore, or that you don't belong to anybody but yourself. It's freeing that way, and that's why I think it's worth talking about. Because objectification is dehumanisation, and putting the human back in sex - even if it's that literal consumption - is meaningful.

[tiptapricock]

Hello! 🍑 💦

This is my nsfw side blog for all stuff kinky n sexy n fun, where I dump thoughts, fic, reblog stuff, etc. If you’d like to see my main blog n sfw thoughts, fic reblogs, etc, check out @tiptapricot

Note that THIS IS NOT A READER INSERT BLOG! Please do not tag my stuff that way or come here with that expectation

✨ I’ll be talking ab my OCs probably pretty regularly, and you’re welcome to ask questions about them or their world, but they also have an info doc linked over on my main pinned if you’re interested!

🌙 There will b a lot of talk n content of monsterfucking/inhuman/nonhuman sex, and I’ll probably be exploring n posting for some of my own kinks n enjoyments here and there as well, but I’ll do my best to tag properly and if you ever need anything tagged, lemme kno!

✏️ For requests: Please DO NOT request for reader insert or OC scenarios. I will also not be doing anything with Spanish kink/race play, psych/asylum/abuse play, piss or scat play, yandere, incest, underage, real life people, intentional OOC, intentional misrepresentation, or anything I’m uncomfortable with.

⚡️ If anyone ever happens to want to draw for anything I’ve written, you have a FULL AND FREE PASS! Please go wild and also share it with me if you do bc that’s so cool

🌆 My main fandoms rn include: Mortal Kombat, Moon Knight (show and comics), and Into/Across the spiderverse. (AND MY WESTERN OCS YAHOO!!)

This blog is 18+ and is not a space for/I do not want follows or direct interaction from: t*rfs, exclusionists, prosh*ppers OR intense “antis” (rly just don’t want involvement w that discourse in general, as sex/rep/fiction are nuanced n complicated), rpf creators, solely reader insert dedicated blogs, or users close to users blusnik or melodygatesauthor. I will not create or rb content featuring incest, pedo stuff, or bestiality. DO NOT use any of my work for training or starters in character bots or generative AI of any kind. Please do not follow if you’re only interested in my work because some of it features characters played by Oscar Isaac.

Ok, epic. Have fun with my space! And rmr:

[ID: the retro meme usually used for “it’s always ok to pirate adobe. It’s always morally correct.” The text has instead been replaced with: it’s always ok to get off to my work. It’s always totally chill with me. /end of ID]

[ursbearhug]

Somebody pissed me off so I'm gonna be annoying on the Internet. You're welcome.

Imma be ranting, so feel free to continue scrolling or whatever.

"What gay representation do you want?". Bitch, cool one.

I have a lot of expectations for my gay representation because the one I'm being subjected to is so whatever that I need to put the bar higher.

Lately, I've seen *a lot* of memes of "Gen Z has Heartstopper and we had [insert something]" and they both vex me and perplex me.

I will be honest here; I used to love Heartstopper at some point. It was nicely drawn and it was warm and cuddly. But then I lost interest. For one, Charlie is just boring character and I do not care for him. What bugs me about some media I had the opportunity to reflect upon lately is; characters are just flat. It's like character customisation, pick one (1) hobby, one (1) good characteristic, one (1) flaw and voilà. At some point I just swapped Charlie with a plank of wood tied to a body pillow and there was no goddamn difference. And it was such a blantant wish fulfillment of dating the 'golden retriever' boy in highschool(?). By the time I arrived at Charlie dealing with his eating disorders I just completely lost interest in the comic all together because I didn't care. I watched the show and it just reignited issues I had with it, compounded by the character of Tao (like seriously kill this guy). I *hate* the fact, that the entirety of first season is about people speculating about Nick's sexuality. Like fuuuuuuuuuck ooooooooooff. Mind your goddamn fucking business. Also fuck Tao. Like, nothing more infuriating than striaght bitch sliding into everyone else's business. Also something show didn't mention is that, it's Tao's fault that school learnt of Charlie's sexuality; because bitch cannot keep his mouth shut and somebody overheard him (which, funnily enough, is the exact same thing that happened to me, except, I was significantly younger than Charlie). There was so much pressure on a guy to label himself. And you know what? I would like this story more if Nick said he's straight and still want them to date. Would people make fun of it? Of course. Would I care? Not a single bit. I'd rather have Nick a straight guy hooking up with gays via grindr than having 20 episodes of people walking into his life, uninvited, in their dirty ass shoes. My further lost of interests happened when Nick's actor has been taking shit from people on the Internet. I was just done with young queer community.

Heartstopper, itself, is not horrible. Like, that's nice that young, discovering world, queers have access to something fuzzy and bengin. The thing that makes me somehow... Icked? Is that there is a distinction to be made between homosexual and homoromantic. Or in general.

Like, I know that for a large group of folk, this is very synonymous. But to me, it feels only natural and normal, that media targeted and younger audiences will not go into sex area. Mostly because... Why would you want to know what sex live of 16year olds looks like? It's fine to have it in the subtext or have it told not shown. Teenagers discover their sex lives in their own weird way. And I would know. I was one.

But queer media should target more than just a subset of the whole community that happens to be age 18(?) and lower. I want to watch a film where two bears fuck the shit out of each other before they go to work, spend day sexting each other and then have banter over who's turn it is to cook dinner and plan homicide because the other half didn't wash dishes. Or have bi girl living it up in french clubs, having safe, consensual, fun and mutually gratifying sex with 12 people before catching a plane to other part of the world. Or showing experiences of old queer folk. There is so much more to show *and* tell than just two teenage boys making big eyes at each other for 20 episodes and then sharing a kiss in the rain.

And saying this as a very "fake" ace guy; media made for adults should explicitly show adult content. Having some sexual fun is something people do. And sex isn't (or isn't always, I should say) some astral projecting, earthshattering and mindblowing experience. Sex can be whatever one and their partners want to be. Therefore, it can be non at all too.

Queer folk are plentiful and weird in their own way. People are not happy when their intelligence or life experiences are being limited to one, cookie cutter, out-of-the-community publicially acceptable potrayal. Nobody wants to see two underaged boys fuck. Some, wants to see something more akin to what their life is and not some high life Kate Perry teenage dream esque shit.

Anyway, I've lost my ace privileges and I'm so fake. Hide your men, boys girls and other gluten creatures, I cannot be trusted and I apparently cannot Google pornhub - since I demand public and cinematic depravity of gay men and women having sex on screen. Burn me at the stake, from me in the ditch, send nudes xoxo.

[bdbdhdjdhdh]

My Hero PSLE: S4E12 "WHAT DO YOU SEEEEEE????"

"Yo mama so stupid she sold her car to pay for her gas bills!"

-yo mama jokes series

"TODAY. WE FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM AND FOR THE SAKE OF ENTIRE WEEK OF FOR HOLIDAY IN THE FUTURE. AVENGERS! ASSEMBL-" Tempest commanded loudly.

"Aw hell nah we're not using that stupid code- SHIT PEOPLE! GET YO ASSES HERE IF YOU WANNA FREE WEEK HOLIDAY!" And then came Grandmaster into the equation.

*entire squad of Chrysalis assembles*

"Well I guess that's works too, ANYWAY! TODAY WE PROCEED AS PLANNED! IS THAT CLEAR?" *insert visibly annoyed and also impressed Tempest meme here*

"YES SIR!"

"SEMULA! WHO SAY YOU CAN GO! BARIS BOKKONAN-wait-" *insert quality Grandmaster self-doubt meme here*

(leave a comment if you finished the command in your head in your own in the voice of senior in which case I advise you to go get some therapy 💀)

"Ok ok just go carry out the plan lah, don't care anymore, we will provide backup soon," Tempest re-commanded.

OPERATION: FREEDOM AND HOLIDAY: FIGHT!

Lol well if you came here thinking you could read some elaborate plan then no, it's just some people fighting some gods and some cummy guy who won't stop talking about sex-

ANYWAY ANYWAY. How about we focus on Unicorn-face's side of things, eh?

Anyway. All is quiet in the prison cell she is locked up in. The guards are sound asleep. They do not know what is to come.

And then suddenly-a loud bang across the room. The guards are startled from their sleep and rush to go investigate the matter. But it's only-UNICORN-FACE! WHO HAS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO ESCAPE! OMG! I WONDER IF IF'S DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE OF HER POWERS AS AN ANIMAL-FACE OR WHATEVER! OMG!

Anyway. The guards go there...and then are strangled to death as Unicorn-face holds their dead bodies by the throat in each hand and step out walking like cool shit.

She walks slowly.

And slowly.

And slowly.

And slo- "EY CAN HURRY UP OR NOT? WE HAVE A FUCKING EXUVIA AND CUM GUY TO KILL BRO!"

Moral of the story: Don't walk like how the characters walk in movies, they have thicc ass plot armor as thicc as yo mama-

SO. Unicorn-face has the Dark Sleep ready, apparently she was getting locked up in prison just so she'd have easy quick access to that when the time came, and the Chrysalis, after receiving the news, has assembled preparing to challenge the Heavenly Lord.

And since they're all just standing in a parade in the middle of the fucking town city where everyone can see them, of course someone dialled Heavenly Lord and he came down soon.

And then they all did a really really really cool thing. When Heavenly Lord came, he just asked a simple question: "What the fuck is going on here?"

To which they simply replied by taking off their masks and exposing their faces.

Of course this shocked Heavenly Lord since, ya know, he ask everyone wear mask and those who don want have to go get killed, but now so many people thicc skin want to don wear mask in front of him.

"We. Have decided that we are not going to wear your stupid masks. You got a problem with that?"

And then Heavenly Lord responded with a "OF COURSE I'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT SHIT YOU JUST SAID! FIGHT!"

*assembles own army of citizens of dystopia and regulat citizens too*

And then they fought. (But not Heavenly Lord straightaway obviously, since they clearly don wanna kill the leader first that would just end everything)

And then halfway through Xiao Ming and the gang came into the scene and started fighting too.

And then the people who got turned into monsters by the plague also came to help fight.

An interesting conversation was between COM and Ma Xiao Tiao:

COM: You have no business being here.

Ma Xiao Tiao: Oh but I do have a lot of business being here.

COM: ANYWAY! I BESTOW UPON YOU THE POWER OF CUM-

Ma Xiao Tiao: NO YOU SHALL NOT! UNO REVERSE CARD!

COM: UNO REVERSE GUARD! *pulls out handguard made from uno reverse cards*

Ma Xiao Tiao: NOOOO!!! GIGACHAD POWER REFLECT!

COM: AAHAHAH NOOOO

Ma Xiao Tiao: *flicks magical middle finger for the final blow*

COM: *is now like half-dead after being defeated by the power of memes*

Ok now back to the main story. Now the Chrysalis is busy fighting off the other brainwashed citizens WHEN THEY CLEARLY COULD HAVE JUST TRIED TO KILL HEAVENLY LORD WHEN THAT WOULD END IT ALL.

And even Heavenly Lord isn't bothering to do anything. He's just sitting there, watching the people fight and watching COM and Ma Xiao Tiao fight and eating his popcorn comfortably.

Wa lao eh, BUAY SONG AH? YAO DA JIA AH? Ey wait, is don want to da jia then liddat what...

Anyway. Now finally after doing her slow cool walk after so long, Unicorn-face has finally escaped the prison and made it to the fighting arena of right in the middle of the fucking city square. OH FINALLY SHE'S BROUGHT THE DARK SLEEP WITH HER THIS TIME!

But luckily no one noticed her, so she quickly vaporised the Dark Sleep, put it into like tear gas sprayers, and then sprayed Heavenly Lord full of it.

And then of course Heavenly Lord will breathe it in. Then suddenly he knelt down, clutching his head, screaming:

"RSYXOD0WKWNBFUCICMRKEPE!!!! MY THRIUMPH OVER THIS LANDDDDD!!!!"

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Hitman (No, not the game franchise.)

You know that trope where big quiet scary Hitman man who is known for being so skilled and heartless that you need him to at least tolerate you first before placing a hit. Or else he would just straight up kill you when he thinks you're mildly impolite.

Yeah that AND you, the reader, as the only soft spot for BQSHMM (Big Quiet Scary Hitman Man).

No don't give me flak about how this is just a bootleg of [Insert similar character here] because you are wrong, this is inspired by every Stoic and Brooding Contract Killer Character Ever and Batman even though I have never watched any movies or read any comics about him.

All I know that he :

Rich

An orphan

Can punch

Quiet

Does parkour

Hot buff nerd with all 20/20 vision

Acted by Christian Bale at least once

Have a family of other bat millennials and bat gen z's

Hates clowns

Wear smudged eyeliner

fast car

Cool belt

I get my sources from tumblr, occasional memes and snippets of batman conversation I happen to be in. I don't know if they are canon or not.

And also actually heavily inspired by the Korean movie Door Lock (2018) , except in this fic you're the ONLY victim <3

And this fic is just something to make your pussy or bussy or nonbinarussy throb, nothing too serious. Goes without saying, don't do this shit irl.

Enjoy.

Tw: AFAB reader, yandereness, violence, sex things, non con, somno oral, basically smut

(pt 1 out of 2)

You don't know squat about the underworld. Naive, innocent little you, still thinking that the black market is like a farmer's market except the vendors are selling not-so-legal-or-Farmer-y stuff such as... Oh, I don't know, like... Unpasteurized Milk?

You never once dabbled anything remotely legally dark, not even jaywalking. You are a law abiding citizen, following all the rules to a "T".

Oh, the Irony. You caught the eye of a person who kills people for a living. And that is highly illegal. Probably more illegal than Jaywalking.

He is lean and muscular with a large frame. Yet, so stealthy like a fucking cat that can squeeze through a dime sized hole with no noise and no complaint. Face, hands and basically vulnerable parts of his body like the neck are scarred from previous missions.

Stare into his eyes and you will see a void. All humanity has been scraped clean, who gives a shit if granny falls to her death in front of him? He doesn't see her as human or animal, simply something invaluable. At most, he's going to be slightly irritated that her blood got onto his coat and he is running out of peroxide.

No one catcalls you anymore. They're all dead or silenced in his own, crazy, silly way. Like getting their tongues cut off, or getting lobotomized (and miraculously surviving) to get the point across to everyone in the overworld and the underworld.

He is like what Santa is to kids in the 60's, he watches you 24/7. Knows if you've been good or bad. He could be watching you from a roof, using his rifle scope . And using his sniper rifle if he sees a threat.

Fresh syndicate criminals sees you as meat, a leverage to control the world's more notorious assassin. Seasoned ones know to stay the fuck away from you. Veterans know to not even think about or look at you. Your Hitman stalker is like a bloodhound for things that threatens your safety, as soon as anyone looks at you wrongly, it's bedtime forever.

It doesn't even take a look. He just knows if you're thinking about it. Actually, he takes no chances, everyone he doesn't trust is dead. That includes just about everyone he meets. Really puts the fear in the hearts of huge crime rings when he managed to leave the decapitated heads of their best men on the doorstep of their supposedly 'unknown' and 'unidentified' and 'anonymous' leaders.

From there, no matter how many of their members he kills off or WHO he kills off...gangs, mafias, crime syndicates and corporations knew not to go after him OR you. It's just not worth it, they're better off just cutting their losses and advising their members to steer clear at all costs.

This one man band is so scary that he gains protection somehow. Why?

Well, imagine this:

A rookie hitman decided to execute the most foolish task and try killing him.

So the rookie gets captured as expected and gets tortured.

Rookie says Mafia X sent him.

The entirety of Mafia X is going to disappear in a week unless someone can give Big Scary Gary Stu Hitman OC an explanation, saying Mafia Y framed them.

Then Mafia Y will be in deep shit. Provided Mafia X managed to convince them or else BOTH X and Y will get fucking nuked to bits.

But hey, business is good on his side. He's everyone's default hitman to go to (if you have the money), because it's almost always a 300% success rate.

Why 300%? It's because he's going to kill the intended target (and their entire family), the one who paid him and a person who is at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Hmm. Maybe the guaranteed death of the customer isn't good for business. As long as you follow the rule of thumb:

Don't be a dick.

Then you should have a pretty good success rate. Maybe.

You really can't tell.

Make a comment about his only joy in this world, which is you, the reader, and you're (not the reader) is getting instant death. It's like saying Voldemort's name.

He is the monster under your bed. Literally, he lives under your bed, sliding out at night to sniff your hair. That seems to keep him content.

For now.

Maybe you've noticed that your fridge is a little emptier than you remembered. Sometimes you don't remember buying a jar of pickles and opening them. There seem to be always something to eat these days, you're not one to shop responsibly. Then why are there actual healthy foods like fresh produce and meats instead of frozen, TV dinners?

Maybe the spirit of New Year's Resolution came and possessed you during the weekends. Maybe. Definitely not because you have an unknown roommate around.

You're not complaining, you get to eat delicious and healthy "fresh leftovers" in the fridge even though you have no memory twisting the gas knob of your stove.

You swore you just replenished your body wash, why did it decrease so much?

At times, you're sure that your toothpaste is about to run out, only to see a slightly used, plump tube on the sink shelf. Did you replace them while you're drunk? Why did you not have any recollection of it? Why is your toothbrush already wet?

The toilet paper holder never seem to run out of toilet paper too. Usually, once a month, you would have to awkwardly waddle out of the bathroom, pants around your ankle just to get a fresh roll. You stopped doing that now.

Yeah, these stuff leaves you weary and pretty much on edge. But you're already dead inside from working 12 hour shifts at minimum wage in customer service. Having a little spice in your life would give you that kick to keep you going once in a while.

Plus, free food and toiletries. The stuff you get back is way more than you can ever afford. Which you're grateful for and would even turn a blind eye to the fact that it's very clear someone is living with you without your consent or knowledge. And your place is much more cleaner and neater. A win for you.

Or you're just that fucking oblivious and airheaded that you don't think anything is out of place, I don't personally know everyone who reads this.

For the sake of plot, you will be the latter. It's easier to write for.

So you think all is sunshine and rainbows, you're fed, your chores are done and the trash took out itself. Yay!

You sleep better, like, much better. Too better. Too quickly as well, you missed the dip in your mattress.

You shouldn't have drank that mysterious cup of your favorite drink that mysteriously appeared in your fridge and has some white residue at the bottom!

You don't even wake up when he drapes his arm over you, cuddling you until the sun shows itself over the horizon. Sometimes the hugging can make your eyes open a bit, but you shut them back cause you thought it's just your sleep paralysis demon feeling a little loving towards you.

Having fingers gently running through your hair while you're off to dreamland is... Nice. Having a pair of lips tenderly kissing your face is... Nice.

Having that same pair of lips trailing kisses from your jaw down to your chest is... Questionable. But somewhat nice.

Having that same pair of lips trailing kisses down from your chest to your already exposed, vulnerable pussy is... Well. Up to your intepretation.

Hey, it's not like you're awake to stop him from spreading your legs, pumping your hole with his fingers and lapping you up, right? Who is going to stop him? Not you, definitely. You're just egging him on by cumming on his tongue as he tongue-fucks you like he's dehydrated and you're his only source of water.

No worries, your bedsheet won't be drenched when you wake up. He is sure to catch every single drop of your sweet, sweet, love nectar. What a thirsty menace, he is. Pleasuring you with his mouth in your sleep for hours and hours on end.

Actually, one hour and a half on average. He has other things to do, unfortunately. Like, putting a bullet in one of his target's cerebrum? He has a job too, you know.

The room would be silent save for his slurping, smooching, smacking and the stirring of Mac n' cheese. Gulping too, he swallows everything you give.

Once he has his fill, he would press one last kiss on your sex and a few more against your inner thighs as thanks before wiping his chin and lips with his thumb. He isn't going to let any of it go to waste, he's licking the left overs from his drenched digits. Eating you out seems to satisfy him.

For now.

He smiles as he slowly puts your underwear and sweatpants back on.

Hygiene is important. That is why, after every meal, he would brush his teeth.

With your toothbrush of course.

He would stare at himself in the mirror as he scrub his molars clean, already missing the taste of you. He tries not to put too much focus onto his own reflection as he dislikes staring into the deep, dark, depressing abyss. He is indifferent about himself, so apathetic that it's... Hollow. Empty.

He gives no shits about the world. They could burn for all he cares. Only you made him feel something, made him feel pure bliss, only you mattered to him, only you can make a tent in his pants. Only you, only you.

God, you were his only will to live. If you go, he goes. Period. You are irreplaceable, special and extremely important, his life, his happiness depends on yours.

You are perfection, no one can compete. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong and deserves to be waterboarded before getting impaled on a stick like shish kebab. You are his escape to his bleak reality, a drug, an addiction. A severe, addiction. He is too far deep, you can't pry him away from you, crowbar or by otherwise.

He lives for you. No, I don't think you understand the intensity of his love for you. He LIVES for you, if it wasn't for your existence, he would have taken his own life long ago.

I'll say it again, only YOU can get his dick up by looking in his general direction. Only YOU can get away with so many fucking things others had died for doing.

If the world is going to have this... Mega wipeout and he is given a chance to save 1000 people, he would only save you. No one else-- and also himself. The 998 empty slots would be wasted.

Only YOU... Could make him smile.

He gargled and spat into the sink, washing your toothbrush before replacing them in their original spot.

He sniffed your face towel deeply before using it to pat his face.

Your self proclaimed boyfriend went on to take a nice, hot shower. Steam fogs up the mirror and shower screen, he scrubs himself clean with your body shampoo. Stripping any smell, grime and blood off him.

He makes sure to remove the hair clogging the drain.

Again, he took a deep whiff of your shower towel before using it as intended.

He dries his hair with the towel as he gets out of the bathroom, wearing a fresh set of his pyjamas. His eyes softened as he sees your sleeping form on your bed, he mumbled a:

"I'll join you in bed in a minute, honey."

Under his breath. It's not like you're conscious to know what the fuck is going on.

He pecks your forehead and brushes the hair away from your face.

"I love you." He whispers. He receives zero (0) responses.

It's always like that. You go to sleep, he gives you the best head in your life, but you're to asleep to realize, he then brushes his teeth, he showers, he fix himself something to eat, he brushes his teeth again because... Smells. And finally, he goes to bed with you.

He likes pickles. It's salty, sour, briny and helps replenish his electrolytes. Anchovies too, its... Fishy, salty, oily. Lemon sorbets are also nice, it's sweet, sour and refreshing. Natto is great for his brain, he also likes the slimy texture of it and he doesn't mind the bitterness.

Okay, he just likes the taste of pussy. Specifically, your pussy. It should taste kinda salty, kinda sour, kinda sweet and kinda bitter.

Whatever.

But usually, he would just fix up a ham and egg wrap for himself. It's quick to prepare, not too smell offensive, not too noise offensive.

He would munch on it as he goes back to your bedroom. There is a TV in front of your bed, so he would turn it on and put the volume on zero. Your self proclaimed boyfriend would pull you to his chest, making you use him as a pillow as he enjoys his simple dinner and watch whatever is on TV.

One hand holding his meal, the other rhythmically patting your rear.

Sometimes, he pats a little too hard, the screen is a little too bright, the wrap is a little too tasty, you would wake up. But not fully.

You would slur and stir. Eyelids heavy, it's a struggle to even pry them apart.

He would remedy this by bringing his wrap to your lips, which you would, without fail, get a nibble. That's enough to send you back to sleep, subconsciously chewing and swallowing that micro bite.

You always thought your sleep paralysis demon has the sexiest chuckle and the softest kisses.

The next day rolls by and you're alone on your bed. The thing between your legs feels funny and you have a faint taste of ham and eggs in your mouth.

You yawn and swung your legs over the edge. Letting your feet touch the ground, giving him full view of your ankles from under the bed.

It's your off day today and he knows you would usually spend these doing nothing. Just lazily laying around, rot your brain with social media, cry about your mediocrity, then go back on social media, binge eat, cry about your mediocrity again, social media, binge eat and finally sleep until the next day.

These are the days where he so badly wishes to fuck your brains out, to fuck the tears away. To give you orgasm after orgasm to forget whatever is making you sad, to make you prefer him thrusting into you instead of seeing suspiciously successful lives on the internet, to overstimulate you so you think about nothing but pleasure.

Let the room reek of sex, let the moans and wet slapping bounce off the thin walls, let the taste of you coat every square inch of his mouth. Let his hands roam all over your body and let him worship you as this deity having a gorilla grip on his life.

These are the days where... It's best for him to leave your apartment to carry out a hit. As he might simply just lose control and take you as soon as he hears your sniffling. Stuff you full of cock and tongue, kissing your sorrows away.

The aftercare stuff excites him too, he would want to see you relax in his hold, letting him work his masseur magic. Allowing him to feed you proper, warm meals after a pleasant, sensual shower.

He may be obsessive and unhinged. But not delusional. At least, not THAT delusional to think you'll see and accept him as your boyfriend if he jumps out of his hiding place now. You're going to have a panic attack and possibly throw up and die.

So he has no choice but to suppress it. He will have to strike when an opening comes. Maybe, enact a cliche romantic meeting and work up from there? Perhaps, that sounds like a good idea.

He is satisfied with what the bottle of sleeping pills hidden in his pocket can do.

For now.

[sapphicscholar]

For the OTP ask meme: 5, 6, 11 (ava/deborah)

5. What’s the one personality trait that most attracts them to each other? What’s the one physical trait that most attracts them to each other?

-Oh, it's hella cliche for this show, but their sense of humor! They speak the same language in that realm, generational references aside, and they can make each other laugh (including with jokes that other people would definitely find, at best, not funny). IMO, that combined with the fact that they also know how to get under each other's skin so thoroughly is what keeps drawing them back into one another's orbit....like too-strong magnets that know there's something right about the other one, some connection there to fly to, but that end up flying at each other hard enough to hurt again and again and again

Physically, oh hmm, I feel like for Deborah it's Ava's smile/laughter (gross, cliche, I know) BUT it's indicative of a change in Ava--she's no longer pretending to be all cool and detached and better than the "hacky" comedy she assumed was all Deborah could do; instead, she's opened herself up to seeing what I think Deborah thinks of as the best part of herself. And for Ava, I think it's Deborah's hair (natural, though she's def got some favorite wigs) or eyes because in the "sex-ish dream" she's with a Deborah who's stripped totally bare of the stage persona, much like she is as well in some of their moments of connection (like in New Eyes). (Though I think if asked Ava would say it's the legs, 100%)

6. Is their love blind or accepting? Do they overlook each others flaws and put each other on a pedestal, or are they aware of the flaws each other holds?

-Oh, no overlooking flaws here. They saw each other's worst sides before they ever even got to tolerating each other as people haha! But in all seriousness, I think we see even in the last 2 episodes of the season, the ways they can both wound each other deeply come to the fore again, and yet--AND YET--they still are there for each other in the ways that matter. Deborah wasn't gonna let Ava show up to that funeral feeling utterly forsaken, and Ava isn't about to let Deborah take this new act (and all the vulnerabilities and hurts it dredges up) on tour without her.

11. What’s the biggest sacrifice they’ve made for each other?

-Thinking canonically here (because holy shit an OTP that actually has SO MUCH already there in is just wild): Ava turned down what was once her dream job, which definitely would have come with more money, prestige, and future opportunities, because she knew she'd have to betray Deborah over it. Even with absolutely zero assurances of future employment with Deborah, she was willing to stake it all on the line to defend Deborah's honor and comedic integrity. [Insert the 'and i just think that's neat' gif]

I think the fact that Deborah broke all of her rules (never forgive, never forget, no funerals, etc.) for Ava is big, but doesn't feel like a sacrifice so much as a willingness to change. What does feel like a sacrifice, though, is her choice to put her legacy on the line for a show that Ava helped create as inspiration, co-writer, and the final push at the end. I adore Jean Smart's performance for the full final episode of S1, but there was something so raw in the way the hurt and anger mingle during their final big fight when Deborah points out that it's all a job for Ava, but it's her life. And even with all that, she opens Ava's gift and decides to sacrifice the easiness that comes with a sure thing for the uncertainty of this new act.

[lorenfangor]

For the ask meme: 40, e, j, o, s, z?

THE OTHER MY BELOVED

I am incapable of being normal about this book, fair warning.

e. Most important contribution to series canon?

obviously the most important thing this book contributes is that Andalites are pro-medical-marijuana and have completely decriminalized the possession and use of its space-alien counterpart plant, the Ilispar root. if it's not that, it's "being a plant gay is a universal experience, who knew".

but in all seriousness -

I think the thing I see as the most important is the revelation that thought-speak ranges can evolve and develop the closer you get to someone emotionally and psychologically, and the fact that knowing this about Mertil and Gafinilan means you can look at how the main kids have gone from "I can't hear you if you're in the basement and I'm over the house" to "we can be in the same Yeerk base and communicate in different rooms". I love that we're 74.2% into the series and we're still finding out cool new exciting things!

j. If you could declare one thing from this book non-canon, would you? What?

the one issue I do have with 40 is that Marco's experience as a bee is both closer to how eusocial insects probably really experience the world and totally out of character for how Animorphs presents members of Hymenoptera - this should be something horrifying and scary, especially for Marco, who's terrified after the ants, but it's just... not. it smacks of "bees good, ants bad", which... not out of character for the series? but frustrating nonetheless.

o. Favorite new piece of info you learned in this book?

Being a gardener is femme-coded for Andalites. I love this fact so fucking much.

s. Would this plot have been improved if the Animorphs had a competent adult to rely on?

As much as I wish I could say "hey, Gafinilan's here!", he's... not at his best, in this book. (obligatory Andalite Sex Headcanon mention here; I have thoughts about 40 and how it illustrates herd dynamics and the gender quaternary) Mertil too is lonely and sad and serves as a damsel in distress. I do think that if Gafinilan had been way less stressed and more himself - if he'd been coming apart at the seams in a way that was more controlled - things would have been different. I love that he tries to talk the Animorphs out of fighting with him because he doesn't want to let children fight his battles! I want to see more of that guy! fuck I love Gafinilan.

z. Which character do you think was least in-character?

I'm not saying Ax and there's a reason I'm not saying Ax; his actions make a lot of sense to me even though his reactions to Mertil are OOC in the sense that none of the other kids really know what to make of it. He's showing new sides to them, but nothing about what he does or says feels weird to me as a reader. Marco too - he often gets cited as being unusually pro-disability-rights in this book but I actually think it's perfect for him. He's unusually aware throughout the series of where the line is when it comes to making jokes, and he uses humor to deflect from what he's scared of etc. He also goes out of his way to give Tobias grief just like he would for anyone else. Marco's been an ally this whole time, insert meme here.

so with that being said... I'm actually going to have to say it's probably Cassie. funny, considering how little Cassie figures into this book, but that's the thing - she's the Team Mom, she's the bleeding heart, she's got a lot to say about the Auximorphs in 50. The fact that I don't see her doing much in this book is both in character for Marco and I think perhaps less in character for her.

[like-a-meme-in-the-night]

Yet Another Bob’s Burgers Sentence Starter Meme

“You people don’t deserve to eat Lance. Lance is my friend, okay? Ow, Lance, you’re burning my arm.”

“We’re not kissing _____.”

“I may or may not have tried crack.”

“And _____, you actually banged us to freedom.”

“If I were a hamburger, you’d come watch me fight.”

“Mmm, manimal.”

“Be my all-American fix-it man/woman, _____.”

“I’m working on my mating list for when we have to repopulate the world.”

“But it’s good. Because you see your whole life pass before you as you’re burning. And every pair of pants you’ve ever worn. And you’ll see the love of your life, dancing salsa in Jamaica by him/herself.”

“I’ve been talking to a turkey for a long time now. But I drank a lot of absinthe, just to be fair.”

“I want to be edgy like them. Pill-popping sex freaks!”

“Oh, I still haven’t finished my Sex on the Beach from that foot clinic doctor.”

“I’m sick of acting like a dumb, helpless girl/boy just so a hot girl/boy who *insert tendencies or hobby here* will notice me. That’s not who I am. I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman/man.”

“It’s really none of our business. …I’m telling everybody when we get home.”

“They’re down in the basement grinding the meat right now.”

“Somebody threw a snow cone at my windshield today. I thought I hit a rainbow. It was terrifying.”

“No one wants to ride Extra Wood Mountain.”

“See, that’s how you put on handcuffs.”

“Has he/she been nude with you, _____?”

“Oh. Hey, Marshmallow.”

“I told _____ I had incriminating pictures of him/her. Because I drew some incriminating pictures of him/her.”

“Man, you’re ripped. Your abs look like challah bread.”

“What the hell else does he/she like? I want to give him/her things.”

“That pain doesn’t go away; it only gets worse. Don’t get older.”

“I saw a kid lick another kid’s eyeball.”

“Crash-landing really is an aphrodisiac.”

“Cut me open and crawl inside me. One of us should live.”

“He/she has a live animal trap from the time he/she thought a squirrel was stealing his/her mail.”

“Uh, be cool out there. Don’t Bogart the snacks– and if the po-po rolls up, your first call’s to your lawyer, not your mom.”

“You’re in trouble! Non-canonical! Non-canonical!”

“You’ve been saying crepe under your breath for ten minutes.”

“This is the biggest man-cave ever, and _____’s going spelunking.”

“Hello, Glamsterdam.”

“Also, if boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses.”

“Make up a story about how you single-handedly murdered a wild animal.

"Your story is going to release a hormone, deep inside her body, called Insatia.”

"Yeah! Anuses!“

”You didn’t just want to kiss me just now?“

"Oh, my God, _____’s boobs just popped out of his/her wet suit.”

“Well, I’m still gluing a knife to my foot.”

“My porcelain horse, Horselain!”

"I think my subconscious fears and my budding sexuality are getting all mixed up. So I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming ‘Do you wanna make out?’ ... And I make out with it.“

[yettofindaname]

Dark Tower Liveblogging

So I started to read the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, i’m in the middle of book 1 (the gunslinger) and what i have seen:

-In the preface, SK says he wrote this book when he was 19, and getting in knowing that it kinda shows: It’s very edgy in a 19-year-old kinda way: The violence, the sex. You can see Roland as an obvious self-insert.

-I think all the main characters in this book are SK, because he really likes to write things he is familiar with (see the meme where all his stories happen on Maine). Roland is his self-insert badass OC, Jake is also his child self-insert and the Man in Black is his author-sona self-insert, that likes to see fucked up shit happen.

-The sky is always some color, and all the colors are a shade of FUCKED UP SHIT.

-Bowling really is this staple of mankind, Jake liked it a lot and even in the far future people are still playing it.

-This book is old, Jake is supposed to be read as this timeless child but he is just a year younger than my by-now-55-year-old dad.

-The setting as whole works really well, it has great vibes.

-What are devils? They seem to be some kind of psychic entity that feed on soul/life. One can be used against the other, or block the influence of one another, but are they magic? are they technology? Hope to find out!

-The shitty and violent way that gunslingers are raised made me think a lot about the way SK was raised too. Also the way where Roland and his family all value this don’t-express-your-feelings-you-are-a-man stuff. Roland is kind to Jake, but you see that he really likes the Stoic facade. This whole thing about shitty child raising always reminds me of @tanadrin ‘s “hunch of history“ (HERE), that is a very cool lens to look at fantasy media about adult-child relations.

-SK really looked at all those fancy adjectives that say “this is x, but in a fucked-up way“ and thought “Imma gonna use ALL of them!“.

[rpbetter]

Sorry if this isn't the place to ask but I'm in need of advice. I have a canon character I truly adore, but I haven't gotten muse or any opportunity to write them at all. My blog is collecting dust and the fandom is kinda dead at this point. Not to mention, it's hard to find compatible writing partners, especially with how picky I can be. I'm honestly considering deactivating the blog (for the nth time), but I don't want to lose the writing I have. I know I could archive, but I hate having blogs just sitting around.

In short, I really want to write the muse/keep the blog but I'm not getting any incentive to do that.

Hello, Anon, it’s totally the place to ask!

I will say, though, that since finding and keeping muse can be flavored rather personally, I can’t promise that what works for me is going to work for you. I’ll even confess that in over two decades, I’ve never personally lost muse. I don’t know if it is due to underlying, neurodiverse style, fixating, or if it is due to keeping myself continually invested in both my muse and writing regardless of what else is going on. (Probably a combination of both, though, and the things I do to keep myself highly in touch with my muse I’ll be recommending.) I’m definitely happy to try to help, however.

That really is a very frustrating spot to be in, wanting to write the muse and keep your blog active, but logging in every day to be reminded of what little reason you have to do so. Since we’re drawn to the characters we are for reasons of personal appeal and writing in itself is a pretty personal form of art, it can also feel depressing on top of the frustration.

However, that’s also the good news, in my opinion, because your incentive here is, or can be, yourself.

You were drawn to this character because you connected with them. They mean something to you, you can relate to them, maybe they have qualities (good or bad) that you wish you could experience. Whatever it is, there’s a reason why you had this draw. Writing is like that as well, there’s a reason why this is a hobby that drew you, that you get enjoyment out of. Again, though all art (it doesn’t matter if it is a hobby) has personal bits of the artist in it, writing is uniquely personal. When you write, you’re exploring thoughts and feelings, giving them life in a character that matters to you. I know, all of that sounds really convoluted and hokey, but it’s true.

And it’s good! That means you always have a reason to write and that you have the tools necessary to find and keep muse without any outside push necessary.

I’d say, firstly, work on getting muse back.

Get back in touch with your muse the next time you feel a particularly strong urge to write. Instead of spending time trying to find people in a silent fandom or forcing yourself to write something you don’t want to, just do some exercises that will help you get back into your muse.

I don’t know what media type your character comes from, but especially if it is something like movie or show that you can have on in the background of what you’re doing, do that. If it’s a comic or a book, think about your favorite scene and read it over first. If you’ve ever made some playlists for writing/your muse, you can always do that instead or as well. The point is to do something passively inspiring while you actively create. Now, that creating...

You want to do something that requires you to think about your muse so you can get in touch with them, not something that is going to make you feel overwhelmed and shut down. So, maybe don’t pick writing prompts for this - you can work up to that. Try out headcanon and character development memes and other question lists instead for right now. Things you can scroll down a list of, find questions that jump out as interesting (or even simply answerable to you at this point, you’re jump-starting a dead battery, it’s alright) and answer them. You can also do something as simple as write down what you like best about the character or their story, or put down the basics of filling in missing information that has always bugged you.

The beauty of this is that it is all on your own terms, your only objective here is to answer what you want, as much as you want. You can stop any time, but you can also answer a single question for three hours, making it eight pages long if the inspiration strikes you. It’s only about recharging your inspiration and establishing a connection with your character again. (This is also going to help you with getting back into writing, or approaching it for the first time, with a more internalized focus of interest.)

When you feel like you’ve done that, you can branch out on these exercises more. Answer the memes more in-depth, answer more of them/the ones you don’t have immediate answers for. You can also try writing out scenes from the character’s canon from their perspective, if it wasn’t already so, adding in their thoughts and feelings, or changing the scene in some ways that would be interesting to write out. This is the point where it’s a good idea to try a writing prompt or two, as well! Take the prompt as a sort of starter sentence from a mutual, you’ve got the situation, fill in with your muse.

Write when you feel like writing. The RPC is great at saying this when it comes to muns not wanting to write, but kind of ignores the other side of the equation. The side where you want to write, have the inspiration and muse to do so, but it might not be the best time. As in, you’re not home/wherever you usually write, with whatever device you tend to write on accessible. No, you’re not going to be able to get as much done, but you can write without the usual situation and device regardless. You can write a scene or ideas down using your phone or tablet, or go old school and use a notebook. If you’re at work and your job isn’t applicable to being able to get down a single sentence, that still doesn’t mean you have to wait 8+ hours to get home; while you’re taking your break, write a little bit. It is a break, and writing is your hobby, it isn’t work. It’s good to do things you enjoy on breaks, and far more fulfilling to have also accomplished something you happen to enjoy.

Not writing when you have the drive to do, putting it off and holding it in until “the perfect moment,” is a great way to lose your inspiration and never actually have that moment. If you feel like doing it, that means it is the perfect moment. Life is restricting, don’t impose even more restrictions on yourself by having to be at home, in a specific spot, with a specific device, at a specific time, on a specific day. Was that annoying repetition? You’re right, it was. And that’s how your creative mind processes all the crap piled onto it that doesn’t allow for creativity.

Now, the other problem, the fandom situation.

There isn’t anything you can do about that, to be absolutely honest. I’m not going to blow smoke and tell you to be positive, wait it out, maybe the fandom will spring to life again. You know, maybe it will...but you could be waiting literal decades for that to happen. Not cool. Please, take my word for that, it’s personal experience that it blows even more than you imagine it will.

What you can do is take the matter into your own hands in other ways; putting yourself out there with more availability in multiple ways.

Are you a single-fandom blog, or are you crossover friendly? If you’re not crossover friendly, try to think of a single, relatively popular fandom that you enjoy. Don’t look at it like a hassle, but rather, just another creative exercise. A serious pitfall of creating alternate universe versions of muses is to take the simplest route, merely picking something you want from that other universe and applying it to your muse with no relevant changes that would naturally occur from it. It isn’t just reductive as hell, it’s not remotely creative, it’s like sticking a sticker on your muse’s forehead and saying that’s a whole different muse. It’s neither attractive to potential partners nor going to sustain your own interest for long. You want this to be a passionate investment on your own end, for yourself.

What not to do:

Let’s say the fandom you picked to do crossovers with is based around magic, the main characters are witches, and they are divided into factions based on how their magical talents display and develop. Not only do you decide to make your muse a witch, you pick the most badass faction. It’s the one full of assassins and action and (metaphorically or literally) sex appeal. Well, that’s also going to be the most popular faction in the fandom. That means there will not only be plenty of big name canons there but also that there’s going to be a plethora of OCs designed just for this universe...and other crossovers from other currently active fandoms.

While that might sound like it’s great for maximizing interaction chances, it’s really not when you’re just starting somewhere new with a character from another fandom that might not be known or liked. It can also take a minute in another fandom’s RPC to identify where the good partners are. Every now and then, it is the most popular and over-populous era/faction/etc., but most of the time, it isn’t. People who write with considerable dedication and talent fairly rarely are in the popular kids club even in their fandom choices. By inserting yourself into that area, you might be bypassing (and being bypassed) by better partners on the assumption that their characters are simply going to bore you to death since they’re not within the scope of your focal point.

It’s not a situation of not being allowed to be picky, you not only have that right regardless of your situation, you also should be. This is not a “beggars can’t be choosers” situation, you’re not beholden to anyone on the basis of being new and bored. However, some of my best, and longest lasting, writing partners over all 23 years I’ve been RPing didn’t/don’t fit with all the exact surface details that automatically draw my interest. It is as true within my own fandom as it is in dealing with crossovers. Opposites (with enough similarities) really do attract and work out well together!

Don’t judge and write people off for anything that isn’t an issue of compatibility with your muse, your writing, or yourself. Decline someone because they do one line only and you are novella, they write topics that are upsetting to you, you can see no way your muse and theirs can interact without instant murder, or because you cannot stand writing with someone who is pulling 90% aesthetics and purple prose. Not because their muse is a witch who uses life-based magic, loves nature, is a healer, and into their health...while your muse in this AU is all about the death, only appreciates an urban environment and is grossed out by animals, kills as an occupation, lives on cheeseburgers and caffeine. You see what I’m saying? Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily!

What to do:

Did you consider if, in that hypothetical idea of a fandom, your muse based on their purely canon self would even fit into that faction? Or is it just something you wanted to see? If you didn’t consider this, or it was the latter, fix that. That’s bad.

If you’re not absolutely dead set on that and only that, think about what really does fit the muse better. Maybe, they would be better as a healer, someone who messes with the very fabric of reality, or someone who manipulates natural elements at will. Then again, they might not even be a witch. They could be more mundane in terms of power, but more accurate and interesting as a normal, human (or whatever). They could even be greatly opposed to the use of magic and witches. Use your muse’s original canon as a base to decide these things.

If you are absolutely dead set on it, though, you have a lot of work to do making the character into what amounts to a markedly different one while still retaining some recognizable aspects of themselves. Consider what events, in this new universe of fandom, might have happened to alter the character thus. Keep in mind that even small changes can have great consequences in a character’s development, and you might need to think about the myriad ways in which that can display, how it changes still more things for this character.

While that job becomes so much more intense when you haven’t planned out a path that matches your muse’s canon characterization at all, it is still an important part of constructing an AU, of any kind, in general. Ask yourself what experiences led to the character you know as you already know them (including your own headcanons, yes). Then, find similar possible experiences within your new fandom verse that can have the same effect. Again, though, it’s important to understand that you are never going to have an identical set of experiences, so you need to explore relevant changes still.

When you do this, you’re allowing your muse to more seamlessly fit into this other universe in a fleshed out, interesting way. Interesting both new partners and yourself.

Okay, next obnoxious question from me! Do you have multiple verses, or are you single-verse?

Whether you are already exploring new fandoms or not, by creating a variety of verses for others to interact with, you’re increasing your chances for interest and activity. When you have a verse from a different fandom you can then, additionally, advertise your presence in both that fandom’s tags when you do a promo or applicable open starter and on active RPer lists for that fandom.

Every popular fandom has such lists. You can get on them by messaging/sending an ask to the blog or by reblogging their post to be added, following the directions. I haven’t seen one yet that doesn’t allow for crossovers. You simply have to tag it as stated in the post, such as “your canon’s name here - original fandom name - crossover.” By tagging your open starter or promo as “-insert fandom here- rp” and “-fandom here- open starter” you allow people in that fandom to find you to interact. Either way is excellent for getting started in totally new places with a character others might be unfamiliar with.

Please remember that if you tag a promo as “promo,” it’ll not show up in searches off of your blog. You know, where it actually needs to be searched. Thanks, tumblr, for being janky! Being more specific as to the fandom and character will help others actually find you. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by tagging it as “promo.”

Make your verses accessible on your blog itself, in the nature of those verses, and how you set up your page or post that lists them.

Don’t put any page behind an impossible or complicated aesthetic. You really shouldn’t anyway, but when you’re needing interactions, it’s actively hurting your chances. Many people don’t want to have to play a game with your theme, it’s a turn off. Try a pinned post that lists all of your links to important pages like rules, verses, and bio instead. It means that, even from the dash, that information can quickly be found while other muns are first interested, and also that anyone who might be using the app can access it more expediently. (I’m genuinely not a fan or big supporter of doing google docs for rules, verses, bios, etc., as it forces people off site, so I can’t personally say, in good conscious and honesty, that I’d recommend it, but you do you!) You want to keep things quickly accessible is the idea here; when people are interested, you want to catch them right then and there before they have a chance to forget and lose your blog.

As to the nature of the verses themselves, give people real options. Don’t have 20 verses that all read same way. Same themes, plot possibilities, and backstories, or incredibly similar names. Have a diverse list of verses that can act as foundations for a variety of different muns. As many fandoms as you can reasonably have a good portrayal of, and different types of fandoms; not all the same genre (all fantasy, all horror, all scifi). Verses where your muse has substantially different goals, occupations, and other life situations that will involve another muse; don’t make your muse A Warrior™ in every verse, you can keep plenty of those aspects without being that literal. People love “modern” verses set in our own universe and, usually, in our own era. That doesn’t mean you have to go stereotypical or otherwise bore yourself by doing the standard “high school/college verse,” for instance. You don’t even have to designate that sort of thing, let alone make it the focus; simply create the verse by considering what your character really would be like if they existed within your reality.

As a final note on verses as pertains to this point, when you’re doing crossover verses, it’s alright to do some verses where your muse from their own canon existence somehow ends up teleported or whatever to another fandom’s reality, or even our own. Just don’t make every verse like this, it puts the onus of a great deal of creativity and effort onto the other mun by default; your muse has cluelessly dropped into the universe, and while it is high drama time for you, the other mun has to babysit, educate, deal with fallout, etc.

On making the list of your verses accessible, you want to focus on ease of browsing and not being overwhelming. People tend to look through a verse page and not read every verse listed, rather, they look at the titles and breakdowns to see if it is of interest, then read it. Don’t try to make everyone read them all, it isn’t going to happen, and shouldn’t change your effort any as the right people are going to find the verses that interest them...if you make it clear and easy enough.

Have a basic format you stick to, firstly. I do it this way: small verse banner, title of verse (linked to its overall tag so that muns can look through the tag at headcanons, aesthetics, pictures of the FC, and threads), muse age/age range, small blurb, possible triggers found uniquely or just heavily within this verse. In that order, one following the other in a simple, but pleasing way. Below that, is a more in depth breakdown of the “verse canon.” Sometimes, that is giving a brief rehashing of canon itself and anywhere my muse differs, be it in this verse only or overall, ending with where my muse is in this verse. Not literally where. I mean their present occupation, emotional and general state in life. At the very end, I provide any other relevant links and/or an expansion on the triggers mentioned at the top of the verse description if they’re that serious/recurrent so that muns can decide this isn’t the verse for them. I happen to have a potentially triggering muse, triggering verses, and writing triggering topics, though. That’s not something everyone needs to do.

Secondly, group your verses in a sensible way. I do my short list of default verses first. (And, I do mean short, you don’t want this be any more than four or five, it is overwhelming right out of the gate.) For me, that is two default verses of canon at different points on the timeline, one default AU that is a bit of a reversal of canon, and one default “modern” verse. Then, I list the verses that are in line with the altered canon one, just different possibilities, changes, points in history. After that, the different “modern” verse options. Then, verses for other fandoms, the crossover verses. And so on. This way, a potential partner can find the type of verse that might appeal to them and have an easier time picking from those possibilities and getting ideas.

Lastly, don’t be so succinct that you give too little information and underwhelm, but also don’t be so excessive that it takes all of the mystery of interaction away and overwhelms someone. It can be a difficult balance to strike, and some verses require more information than others, just experiment a bit. Additionally, it’s fine to link to pertinent information for the other mun to view aside from this, but don’t just link people to a fandom wiki as your “description/bio.” That isn’t giving information on how you write this muse, approach this fandom, or what another mun can otherwise expect. Keeping your descriptions interesting is important, you’re not giving a boring lecture, you’re trying to inform someone while making them hyped for their choices. It’s more interesting, and informative, to read if you do them with an ear to the “tone” of your muse in that verse. Is it a sad one? Sound that way. These can, indeed, function as snippets of your writing, so be sure you are writing them with the same care you should be giving your replies; spellcheck, good word flow and use, mind the grammar, and read over what you’ve written for common, easy mistakes.

Again, by giving a genuine variety of verses to choose from, you’re allowing for a greater reach in potential partners. Everyone from those still in your original fandom to those in new ones, all the way to fandomless muses will be able to interact with you this way.

Finally, in regards to what you can change or do when you’re in a dead fandom and seeking interactions; make sure you are increasing your reach by using proper tags, being honest about what and how you write, and don’t wait for others to stumble across you.

When you use tags properly, you’re increasing your chances of being seen at all. Every time you post something at all applicable on your blog, tag it with relevant things. Tag as described above with whatever fandom it is and “RP,” your character’s name, “open RP,” character name and RP, indie RP, open starter, and so on. Be sure you are optimizing your tags by placing the most relevant to finding you in the first four, those are what show up in site-wide searches only. Anything after that isn’t going to appear in a search across all tumblr.

By tagging your character’s name, as a canon, you should know that you are likely to get personal blog interaction. I’m pretty against being nasty to personal blogs for no reason, as I don’t appreciate personal and fandom blogs being shitty to me for the sole reason that I am an RPer. Please, use clear, short, attention getting directions for them. If you want no interactions with them, put right in the description of your blog “RP blog, does not interact with personal blogs.” When you say things like, “personals dni,” or “personals blocked,” you’re not doing anyone any favors. Personal blogs often don’t even know what the hell a personal blog even is! They do not denote themselves this way, to a personal blog, they’re just a blog. By designating first that you are an RP blog, you’re making it clearer that they’re the personal; they’re obviously not an RP blog, so that must make them a personal. Follow this up in a pinned post, right on top. Give a note to personal blogs that describes them as “any blog that isn’t an RP blog” first, then either tell them in brief what they can and can’t do or that you don’t interact and will block.

I don’t recommend taking your blog off of being findable, however. That’s alright once you have the RP activity you are looking for, but until then, it’s working against you. Other RP blogs cannot easily find you either, they will only find you if you’re on a list or appear in their recommended blogs, if you interact with a mutual, or are recommended by a mutual. You’re not just lessening your chances of personal blogs finding you, so if you have that turned off, turn it back on.

Don’t entirely rely on others finding you regardless, though. You can’t be 100% passive when you have no interactions, and by relying solely on serendipity you’re far less likely to get them. I know that everyone here is terminally shy, but seriously, you have to do more than put your silent will into the universe that someone perfect find you. You have to make this happen. Once you get a few people, you can afford to be more passive. Not only do you have some people to write with, you will be more visible to their mutuals, and more established as a presence. I’m not saying this is easy, or that it will become easy, not awkward or stressful, if you have a legitimate issue behind the shyness. Just that it is the only way to really proceed, and I believe you can do it!

So, go looking for interesting blogs. Be crossover and OC friendly (again, this doesn’t mean “accept everyone,” there are valid reasons for not accepting people you won’t work out with that have nothing to do with their fandom or being an OC), and search those fandom’s RPCs, following any blogs you think you might work out with upon reading their rules and other pages. Search for fandomless OCs and do the same thing. Fandomless OCs aren’t just floating around in the ether, they just weren’t created expressly for a particular fandom and within its confines. What is excellent about that is their ability to have a wide variety of verses and many possibilities to fit into any fandom or verse. So, don’t count them out solely on the basis of being an OC and fandomless. It doesn’t mean what people seem to think it does!

Do not stop at having followed 50 blogs. I mean, other than that you probably should stop following people for a bit. That you should do, as you need to be building writing relationships here, not following so many people that you cannot get to them. Don’t just stop at the follow, though. Since you’ve read their rules and information like a good RP partner, you should have some idea of what their interests are and where they align with yours, as well as how they prefer to be approached, if they accept memes right away to start, need plotting, have a rules password. When they’ve followed you back, proceed with interaction!

Ask if they’d like to plot when they have time, you’re really looking forward to writing with them. But...have some idea of a plot, please. It is a serious turn off to have someone message you wanting to plot, only to reply and get “lol I don’t have any ideas, anything works for me/whatever you want to do.” That isn’t plotting, it’s one party coming up with ideas and constructing a plot while they’re being told “I’m fine with anything.” That may be true, but it’s disheartening and a red flag for many people. If you genuinely can’t come up with anything, pick verses that match up well and suggest doing something within them.

“When you have the time, would you be interested in discussing writing? I was looking at your verses, and I think your verse -name- and mine, -verse name-, would mesh well.” Is a good way to start. Once you have a discussion flowing about the verses meshing and the muses, it’s typically easy to organically develop some plot ideas to go off of.

If both you and the other mun are alright with plot-free interaction and memes, you can send a meme any time. If you can’t find any memes on their blog, look for a wishlist or navigation page that shows you the tags for memes/wishlist. Still can’t find it? Ask them if they’ve got a wishlist or meme tag you can look through.

Additionally, if open starters are a thing you both do and are alright with, find some of theirs and respond. Post your own, tag it appropriately to be found in general and on your blog, and reblog it once or twice. Don’t excessively reblog it, and don’t get upset on the dash if no one interacts with it or any memes you reblog. Both are demanding to outright guilting, and not a good way to get partners. Just provide them with the ability to easily interact by making the posts available in the first place and by making them findable on your blog search and navigation.

Provide something for potential partners to see. Since you said you already do have writing, that’s great! That’s content on your blog that your partners can view. However, since you’re also having the issues you’ve stated, it’s likely that you haven’t many new posts. Show that you are active, interested in being here, and how you write your muse (and in general) by posting some newer content. For original content, do a headcanon or some meta, or post about new verses you are adding, the changes on your blog, a promo. For reblogs, things pertaining to your muse like canon imagery, fanart, quotes from canon or that generally express your muse, and aesthetics relevant to your muse are all excellent things to queue.

Use that queue. Not only do very few people appreciate having dash spam of similar content for the comparatively short time you might be around, but also, running these things on a queue means you spread that out for maximum view. While there are hours of heavier activity, you’ll have mutuals who are on at unusual hours due to their life and preferences or their timezone. This way, you’re not appearing inactive, if not outright invisible, to those mutuals. It’s not a bad idea to use a queue tag so that people know if they interact with a post that’s been queued, you might be here to quickly respond.

Ultimately, to fix your fandom and lacking partners problem, you just need to up your availability and reach beyond that fandom alone. Be proactive in following and approaching, decline blogs based on not working out only, utilize tags and fandom RPer lists, have everything on your blog easy to follow and not overwhelming, and have your verses meet as wide of a range of people as possible while also not being overwhelming.

Try updating your promo, as well, by the way. They’re not dead, they just really tanked when people kept making them based solely on aesthetic principle instead of being at all informative about the muse. They do seem to be coming back, so it’s a thing to consider.

Yes, make it visually appealing, it will draw people to reading it. No, do not just use a song lyric or quote with words highlighted linking your rules, verses, bio. Tell people basic info like the age of your muse and yourself, if you are multiverse and multiship, your muse’s canon verse and a couple of big interest verses of other major fandoms or themes that tend to be of interest to people, and what kind of RP you write - one line/para/multipara/novella. Absolutely give links to rules, verses, bio, and either memes, wishlist, or open starters, but give them just like that; make it very clear what this link is to. Put a very short statement of interest on there denoting that you’re expanding to new fandoms and looking for writing partners.

Do not sound desperate, demanding, or devaluing of yourself. Don’t say shit like “because my fandom is dead,” “trying this before I give up and delete my blog,” or “I suck at interaction/writing/ooc interaction/being a person but welp giving it a try, so follow and hit that heart.” (Conversely, calling yourself derogatory things and implying that your partners are too, such as the “we’re all just losers here” shit.) All of the above are not attractive, and they’re not even surprising enough to stand out anymore. It’s another reason to scroll right by that promo because nothing at all was different or of interest.

And as a wrap-up/rehash of the first topic, getting muse back: try starting over at the beginning by approaching the media involving your muse that has really stuck with you emotionally over the years, and exploring and developing your muse again.

Don’t tell yourself you can only write, for example, at home, on the laptop, after 7pm, and with a pop toy staring at you. The best thing about writing, as opposed to so many other hobbies, is that you can do it anywhere! So, do that. Do it any time you both feel the inspiration to do so and aren’t going to get fired or expelled for it. This isn’t work, it’s something enjoyable that does take effort (like literally all creative activities and skills do), but approaching it as though you need to follow novel writing advice from someone who has never published anything of note and isn’t you on the internet, with strict rules for success makes it feel that way. So does being frustrated with a dead fandom, no interaction. It’s disheartening, feels as annoying and fruitless as work often does. You probably need to break out of that mindset, and you can only do it by beginning to allow yourself to be creative on your own terms, entirely for yourself.

Do write simple things at first that you are inspired to do (you can’t get a scene out of your head, or a bit of dialogue), and/or headcanon/character development memes and question lists. Build from there as you get back in touch with your muse, writing things primarily or entirely for yourself still. Expanding on headcanons, doing some meta, or maybe writing out a missing piece of canon or what you’d be interested in seeing happen in canon if some event was altered.

Doing this sort of thing, you are getting in touch with your muse again and back into the real spirit of writing creatively, simultaneously.

Whatever you find most inspiring, do it. If it’s watching the movie or show again, do that, have it on while you write or simply think on the character’s actions, thoughts, and emotions during those scenes. If it’s reading the material again, do that, and read snippets of personal importance before you write. Maybe it’s some past playlists you can have on while writing, or even while you’re cleaning, walking the dog, driving or riding somewhere. It could even be your own previous writing! Go ahead and re-read that, it sounds like you still appreciate it, and that’s truly promising. If you find that you’re horrified by some of the things you’ve written in the more distant past, hey...that’s not just valid as hell, it’s natural. You know what else it is? An inspiration. You can clearly see that you could do better, that means you now know how to do better and are ready to do so. Validate yourself, prove it to yourself by rewriting or fixing something.

Don’t delete the blog or archive it. It is unpleasant to have a dead blog around, but don’t keep it dead. Use the same blog and simply transition it into wider things that will net you more partners and the interactions you deserve.

Look, even if you weren’t the most popular blog in your fandom before it went quiet, you really appreciated the blog, muse, and writing you were doing. You’ve defined that it wasn’t something you did to cause this situation, you just had the shit luck we all run into eventually of being in a fandom that ran out of material or interest. People are really fickle, so by taking a wider approach and fixing on the writing and muse instead of fandom now, you’re stopping this from repeating. Seriously, on a long enough timeline, every fandom dies or goes into hibernation. If you make a whole new blog with a different muse, it is going to happen again eventually.

So, don’t feel like you’re ridiculously clinging to the past and need to move on, you’re just sticking to something and can continue to stick to it through the next five fandom deaths. Just because it is the most popular thing to do to drop muses, constantly add new ones, and have this attitude that you can “blog refresh” your way out of recurrent, and inherent, problem doesn’t mean it is actually the right thing to do. It’s not even the most sensible, and certainly not the best thing to do with anything you’ve spent time and effort on.

That’s your incentive; yourself, the time and care you’ve put in, and your continued interest in writing and the muse. You’ll find good people, and bluntly, everyone else can fuck right off when you’re incentivized by yourself. It becomes a self-fulfilling activity at that point, I swear, and it feels really nice.

Just get back in touch with your muse and writing itself so that you can begin to expand and start interacting again!

[yehet-me-up]

Content Tag Game

Tagged by EXO sister-wife Kat @yeoldontknow​ <3 1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

3. how long have you been writing? on this blog?

uhhh I definitely wrote half of several harry potter and lotr fanfics in HS but that was ‘the dark times’ many moons ago. so as an adult this is my only fandom! just stumbled into kpop and stumbled onto fanfics in the most backwards way possible (was sent a meme of a 1D ‘imagine’ and was like hey I wonder if they have these for kpop and then I found them and they were not a meme, but were fucking incredible AND NOW 4 YEARS LATER (started August-ish 2017???) here we are hahaha)

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

oh dear god i just remembered I have an AO3 account..... WHOOPS, shit 😅 might need to, y’know, update that at some point. jfc adhd object permanence is something else.

5. what is your favorite genre to write?

Personally it’s sci fi/fantasy, but here in the fanfic space I’d say..... uhh slice of life, romance, angst but make it a happy ending?? fanfic is a way for me to share all the sort romantic hopeful feelings I have about love and life and friendship and purpose 💕

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

Used to be a pantser when I started this (and when fics used to be like ?? 3k-5k) now that fics in general are longer for one-shots and series my good lord I need an outline. Especially for exo mall which is *insert meme of crazy guy with the bulletin board* a lot for my brain haha

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

I’d say mine are usually 5k or so?? some series were shorter per chapter, depending on subject matter. I tend to write like... interconnected long as frick oneshots, so i don’t count those as chapters ☠️

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

uhhhhh good question haha. my book was 95k and I think exo mall is like *dammit math* 140k or something that has significantly gotten out of hand. I have two more fics so it will probably be like 180ish when it’s done?? not including the drabbles to come haha 

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

I loved No Quarter and torturing Kat with her husband, also staying up all night to finish Chanyeol’s exo mall knowing kat had NO idea it was coming was a BLAST. Kyungsoo’s exo mall was one of the most ‘in the flow’ writing experiences i’ve ever had. I wrote this Baek oneshot at like 3am when i couldn’t sleep once and tbh it felt like I wrote it in a dream. ja;slkfjasd I love so many of these this is like a trip down memory lane, so I’m going to be a wh*re and say two more haha.  This is the most honest and close to ‘real life’ thing I think I’ve written on here (and also one of the only sex scenes I didn’t lose my goddamned mind trying to write a;sldkfja;sdf). And lastly Ablaze, which was the longest thing I’d written (I think) and let me know that hey? maybe I could write a book someday <3

11. favorite request you’ve have written and why (if any?)

This request for Exo Mall Baek was such a joy to write! And for some reason this Taeyong drabble makes me wish I had the time/energy to write it into a full story, it gripped me so much when I wrote it, like a movie had fully downloaded into my brain out of nowhere.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

For sure! I’d say found family is a big one. Trusting that you’ll find your place even if things don’t make sense or you feel unsure. Believing that love is worth the risk and fear of trusting someone ;laksjdfal;sd. That love can be big gestures and super intense, but that after that fades away it’s the small daily moments that matter most - the people who stay and listen when you’re sad, holding hands and forehead kisses, taking care of people when they’re sick or scared or just need company, showing up to try again or to communicate even when things are hard. 

Someone commented on a fic of mine ages ago that I helped them see that real love (of that small, daily, consistent kind) is possible and MAYHAPS I cried because underneath it all, that’s what I’d want people to take away - that love of all kinds is scary, but it’s always worth it in the end <3

13. current number of wips?

Surprisingly just ... 3? wow how time has changed hahaha. I have Jun + Baek for exo mall (plus some drabbles but that will be something people write in about, so I wouldn’t consider them wips) and then I maaaaay continute on here with the Jun + Min regency baes series. We shall see :)

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

1. I can’t NOT write Baekhyun as the biggest cheesy dork in the entire world 2. That I’ll always have endless fantasy world to live in. I have to try actively to not start new WIPs because it’s so damn easy to be inspired. If I’m ever bored I know that I can jump into some story and let myself be carried away for a while 3. that who and how i am in real life is not usually the same person that i am when it comes to the vibe of my writing, and that that’s totally okay <3

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“I wish it had been with someone like you, though,” you say, squeezing his hand.

“Someone like me?” he says, raising his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

You look down at the floor, trying to figure out how to put how he makes you feel into words. “Yeah, someone strong, and steady. And safe.”

He lets out a laugh. “Safe? That sounds awfully similar to boring.”

“No, no. You don’t understand,” you say emphatically, coming to stand fully in front of him, grabbing his other hand as well. “You never ask me to be anything but who I am. You’re patient, kind, caring. For the longest time I thought that falling in love would be stifling. That it would… I don’t know, take my independence. Take my spirit. Make me into someone I don’t recognize.”

You step closer, holding his face in your hands. “But I can’t think of anything I want more than to be with you. You make me the best version of who I am. I don’t know how it is for you, being with me. But when I’m with you, it just feels like… home,” you finish gently.

- from Kyungsoo’s exo mall because THIS is how I feel about falling in love now, and this story was me working out what I believed about the process (like a goddamned emo bish haha)

16. a quote from an unpublished story.

For a moment you allow yourself this weakness. It won't destroy you to admire the strong lines of his body, the intensity and focus in the set of his brows, the deep, warm color brown of his eyes as they - oh lord, he's looking directly at you. As he notices you watching him his lips press into a small smile, inclining his head towards you.

'Oh no,' you say, mortified. In a breath you've blinked and drawn your arm through Maggie's, weaving your way through the crowd and dragging her with you.

'What's wrong?' she hisses in your ear, slightly off-kilter from the drink and revelry. 'You're going to tear my arm off.’.

'Sorry, he -' With a hand you push through the front doors, gulping in the cool night air and breathing deeply to steady the erratic pace of your heartbeat. 'Maggie, what's happening to me? He looked at me and I felt so... naked. I can't explain it.'

She realizes you aren't in actual distress and laughs. 'Good. About time you fell in love. I'm delighted.'

- From perhaps a future chapter of Jun and Min regency baes series....

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

Thank you so much. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. This fandom brought writing back into my life after such a long time away and I had no idea I would love it so much. The friends it’s brought me and the kind words that made me cry or cheered me up on a shitty day or made me laugh out loud and the watching other writers grow on their journeys. Getting to hear how something I made could help you feel less alone or less sad on a shitty day is all I’ve ever wanted from sharing all this. Thank you for being here and thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me <3

Tagging anyone who sees this who would like to do it, even if you don’t consider yourself a “real writer” yet (yes you are, stop doubting yourself!!!!) 😘

[xjoonchildx]

fic recs!

i have to shoutout some amazing authors and great stories i’ve enjoyed recently. i love reading fanfic as much as i love writing it, and this fandom has no shortage of killer writers.  so here’s a few stories i’ve read and loved lately -- please let me know if you love them, too!

*this is by no means a complete list and i will update!

KNJ

repentance by @ppersonna​

i would love to tell you more about this fic, but i also don’t want to be hauled away by police. read and understand the smut warnings then read it because *phew*

collared by @taetaewonderland​

honestly, i could read dom!joon fics all damned day and night and well, this one is a scorcher, so

KSJ

currents by @yeoldontknow​

holy crap this is so well done.  i just figured out arranged marriage is one of my buttons and when jin declares his feelings i promise you will need to have a seat

into cool water by @chimoona​

listen man, i am an absolute sucker for flirty, sexy, smart dialogue and this writer just nails this dynamic. please tell this jin how much i love him

MYG

the choice by @ladyartemesia​

a strong Y/N or OC who is a match for the man in her fic is basically my favorite thing.  vi’s yoongi is the perfect mix of strong and vulnerable and i just loved this.

i’ll float away by @ppersonna​

i literally stalked lindy after reading this. hunted her down and made her talk to me.  dark and angsty and surreal but real and wow

sunday service by @brilliantlybasicb​

so this is wild and dark and twisty and creative and just insane read it

JHS

an abundance of scrunchies by @hoseoksyn​

this drabble series was so ... satisfying? i loved hosoek’s characterization

bloom by @jungxk​

oof this was so great. the build-up, the boil over, the sex just *phew*

locks and barriers by @lemonjoonah​

this fic is interesting and thoughtful and romantic and so, so nuanced please read it mmmkay thanks

PJM

level of restraint by @lemonjoonah​

i needed a glass of water and an advil after reading this, insert spongebob panting meme here

oneirophrenia by @jjiminah​

this was just beautiful and heart wrenching and then hopeful and so many feels

KTH

good girl by @suga-kookiemonster​

i literally screamed out loud three times reading this fic

face up by @ddaengyoonmin​

i loved the way this was written. i loved how aloof this tae tried to be and how nervous Y/N was and how it ended. just a damned good time, thank you very much

JJK

crush by @jungxk​

i wasn’t sure what i was going to think about the memory loss angle but ya’ll this shit is just perfection

ripped jeans by @kookiesjoonies​

this is just fun and sexy. who wouldn’t jump JK’s bones especially with the way he looks in ripped jeans? a yes from me

[mulletcal]

if my heart had a voice - a (bi/aro) calum hood blurb.

a/n: okay so i’ve had this idea in my brain for so, so long and i had hesitated a lot writing it but i’d like to give a special thank you to: @frontmanash​, @softbabiestan​, @sexgodashton​, @goth5sos​, and @irwinkitten​​ for giving me motivation and being so sweet while i wrote this, i appreciate all of you so, so much you have no idea.

this is my first time writing something like this, so i hope you enjoy. it’s a genderless reader insert!

word count: 2.6k

warnings: struggles with romantic orientation, mentions of smut but no actual smut.

---

Friends with benefits - it’s something that sounds easy in theory, but movies and TV shows would lead you to believe otherwise.  Complicated was a word that was often associated with it as well, stating that no two people could simply have sex, that feelings would always end up involved.

That wasn’t the case for Calum, well, not really.  He had met you, and the two of you hit it off right away.  You talked into all hours of the night until the sun came up about anything and everything; he felt heard, he felt appreciated, he realistically felt what most people would deem as a crush, or romantic attraction.  Calum couldn’t bring himself to call it that though, because that’s not how it seemed to him.  It felt natural when the two of you fell into bed together, a tangle of limbs and breathy moans, but he never was drawn to the idea of asking you to be his partner.  You never seemed to mind either, which Calum was grateful for; he had so many questions that constantly circulated through his mind, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a conversation about why he didn’t want more with you.

Calum’s racing thoughts seemed to never cease, a constant question of why didn’t he want more with you; or simply why he never wanted more with anyone.  His last relationship ended because what he thought was love turned out to be nothing more than just a physical attraction, lips never parted long enough to sort out emotions before it was too late.  Love had been uttered in a fruitless attempt to keep her around long enough to hopefully truly feel something, but it never worked. 

Another Saturday night rolled around, and the two of you had started a movie you never saw the end of, too distracted with exploring each others’ bodies.  Seeing you lie next to him, chest heaving with a small smile on your face brought a smile to his own lips, admiring you basking in the glow from the TV screen.  Calum often wondered what you were like around your other friends, if you made them laugh as hard as he did, or would also text them in the middle of the night with a random thought or meme.  Panic crept up on him at the thought, suddenly fully aware that he could be caught up in some sort of TV trope - did you have romantic feelings for him? Was there a possibility of losing you forever if he didn’t reciprocate the feelings?

His mind couldn’t settle that night, tossing and turning, mind racing at the thought of losing you.  Would he lose you? Banished to a new level of weird and uncomfortable - running into someone in public who you know has seen you naked, or even more seen your face when you’re about to fall over the edge. 

Morning came much too soon, and Calum sighed, glancing over to you as the sun came streaming in through the curtains and casting you in some sort of ethereal glow.  Maybe if he went to make some breakfast rather than staring at you it could help to clear his head.  It wasn’t often that you decided to stay for breakfast, but he hoped that sharing a warm meal together would encourage him or sway him one way or the other - to talk to you, or maybe feel something more romantic towards you.

Stretching as you came into the kitchen, you smiled at the sight of Calum there flipping pancakes, “Eating for two, are you? Calum, is there something you’re not telling me?” You faked a gasp, laughing lightly.  He swatted at you with the spatula, just barely missing you.

Calum knew you could sense something off with him, just by the way you carried yourself about the kitchen, taking a seat at the island.  Your movements were gentle, calculated, as if one small thing could set him off - not that had ever happened, but you were walking on eggshells and he knew he needed to say something.

The two of you ate in silence for the first few minutes, Calum glancing up at you to make sure that you were enjoying the food alright. 

“Can I ask you something?” Calum had stopped eating, a serious expression on his face, causing you to put your fork down.

“I was going to pull the old ‘you just did’ bit but it doesn’t seem like the time for that,” you chuckled, tucking your chair in so you could lean your chin on your hand. “What’s up?”

“What’s wrong with me?” He asked, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

You furrowed your brow, slightly confused, “I’m not following.”

“Like… I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I broke up with my last girlfriend because while I felt a connection and we got along great, the�� romance just wasn’t there? I’ve gone on dates, and there’s nothing. I thought it was just that I was going on shitty dates, but then I met you - you have all the qualities I could want in a partner, and clearly I’m attracted to you; but I don’t find myself wanting to be involved… romantically?” Calum was playing with his fingers, not meeting your eyes. “I hope that doesn’t hurt you.”

You laughed lightly, reaching across to take his hand in your own to stop the wringing of his hands, “Calum I’m not offended, not in the slightest. What we have going on is good, but I understand if you want to stop that too.”

“I don’t-” He said quickly, laughing as he scratched the back of his head.  “I feel like it sounds like such a stereotypical dude thing to say that I’m cool with continuing to have sex with no emotional attachment.  Not that I don’t feel anything towards you, I just-”

“Calum, I get it,” You grinned.  “I hope you know I wasn’t here looking for love, yeah? Me and you get on great, and the sex is great.  But if I wanted a boyfriend, I would have told you from the start, I promise.” Your reassuring words had Calum letting out a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding, squeezing your hand that was still in his.

“I just feel like I’m… Cold, I guess? For not wanting more?”

“Love, you’re the least cold person I know.  You’re so genuine and kind, and you have so much love for your friends and family.  You’re so cuddly, always down to hold hands, or just hold someone if they need to be held. It’d be different if you didn’t show you care, but you do in the ways that matter.”

Your answer seemed to be good enough for Calum, because he went back to eating with a small smile on his lips.

It helped to ease Calum’s worry that he was going to lose you because of how he felt, but the lingering question in the back of his head ate away at him of why he felt the way he did; also, why it was just bothering him now.  So, when you left,  he did what any millennial would think to do: he Googled it. 

He wasn’t sure what to search for at first - it wasn’t something like an ache or pain in his body where you could look up ‘shoulder pain’ and find out you only had 4 days to live.  It seemed much more complicated, to put into words how he felt; but he ended up settling on ‘lack of romantic attraction’, and he was shocked to find that it was, indeed, a thing.  Calum had learned within minutes of his Google search that this wasn’t just a ‘one or the other’ kind of thing, but that there was a whole variety of people.  It made his chest warm to read blog posts of people coming to terms with their romantic orientation, seeing how many had struggles similar to his own.  The term ‘Aromantic’ seemed the most fitting to him, and he liked the idea that maybe one day romance could happen, but if it never did he wasn’t weird for wanting the physical only.

**

It was a few after Calum had come to his realization about his orientation overall, and he found himself as he usually did - in his backyard with Ashton, a couple cups of coffee deep while they both scribbled into their songwriting notebooks.  He knew that none of his friends would judge him, they may be a little confused because no one in their group had “different” romantic orientations - they simply assumed they’d end up with a partner one way or another.

Ashton had been in the middle of a thought when Calum interrupted, “Hey Ash?”

Ashton furrowed his brows, eyes lifting from the page to look at his friend, “Yeah?”

“You ever heard of the term ‘aromantic’?”

“I don’t believe so, why?” Ashton placed his pen inside his book, closing it to give Calum his full attention.

“I’ve been kinda struggling a lot lately, doin’ a lot of self reflection and all that,” He started, letting out a heavy breath before he continued, “It seems like a term that really resonates with me.”

Calum couldn’t really read the expression on Ashton’s face, instead being met with the man’s furrowed brow and fingers lightly drumming on the cool metal of the table. 

“What does it mean?” Ashton was now leaning on his elbows, more engaged in the conversation.

“In like… Simpler terms, it mainly just means lack of romantic attraction.” Ashton’s face read a little confused, but Calum carried on anyway, “I’ve learnt in the last few days that there’s a difference in sexual orientation and romantic orientation.  With my last girlfriend, I thought I loved her, but it was more about the sex than anything. I d’know if it really sums me up, but you know my whole friends with benefits scenario.  I thought it would make sense for me to fall in love with them.”

“But you haven’t? Fallen in love with them, I mean.”

“No, which is what led me to this point to begin with.  If I were to make a list of everything I’d want in a partner, they would check all the boxes.  I do care for them, deeply and genuinely, but it’s not in a romantic sense - more of a ‘you’re one of my best friends in the whole world, and sometimes we fuck’.” Calum hadn’t realized how red he had gotten, but it definitely made him fan himself as he let out a small chuckle, “I’m sorry, that was… A lot of information.”

When Ashton broke out into his signature grin, Calum couldn’t help but to mirror it with his own grin, “Well brother, you know I love you and support you no matter what you choose to do.  I told you I’d help you hide a body, but I do hope it never comes to that point.  Just don’t be an asshole and I’m always here for you.”

Calum laughed again, rubbing a hand over his face, “That made me so fucking nervous man.  When I was thinking about it, I was kinda like ‘this sounds so cold’.”

Ashton cut him off from going any further with a scoff, “We all know that’s the last thing you are.” With that, Ashton reopened his book and continued on with a lyric he was talking about previously; and Calum couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face.

Over the next few days, Calum had told his friends individually - being met with open arms and plenty of questions. Of course he didn’t mind, but it was relieving to him to feel like things were going back to normal, and he was starting to feel more like himself again.  He hadn’t gotten to see you since that morning at his house, but he had texted you to tell you about his new findings - your congratulating text in return, saying how you loved him and were proud of him, had him grinning the rest of the day.

The Fourth of July came quicker than any of them had anticipated, and Calum’s group of friends scrambled to come up with some last minute plans.  You had to work during the day, so you would miss the planned barbeque at Michael’s house, but you would be off in time to meet them at the local park to watch the fireworks that Calum had seen a sign for a few days prior.

There was nothing easier for Calum than being around his friends; and while he knew they accepted him and easily accepted his realization about his romantic orientation, he still worried.  Worried that things would be different, or they would feel the need to treat him differently.  But as he sat there, beer in hand, warmth washed over him when he noticed no palpable tension in the air; instead his ears rang with Ashton’s giggle as he laid on the lawn with South and Moose, wrestling with the two dogs.

With everyone thoroughly fed (and a majority tipsy), they all decided to make the small trek to the park, Calum offering to walk with Moose along the way - his secret favourite of Michaels’ dogs, though he’d never say so.

It was long after they had gotten there did you arrive, the sun finally starting to set to hopefully cut through some of the heat from the day. Moose launched herself at you to signal your arrival, which in turn set off South - before you knew it you were on the ground being bathed in puppy kisses.

“Quite the welcome,” You teased, scooping up South into your arms when the pair had finally eased up.

“They know how to roll out a welcome mat, what can we say,” Calum laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, enveloping you in a warm hug.  The hug was more rigid than you were used to from Calum, and it gave you a weird sense of tension off of him.

Sitting down next to him, you frowned when you noticed his breathing was shallow on top of the weird tension that was coming off of him in waves, “Are you okay?” You never hesitated to be honest with Calum, and you’d hoped that he’d be as honest as he was that morning, especially if something was wrong.

Calum nodded, pursing his lips in thought for a beat before finally speaking, “This is just the first time I’ve seen you since that morning, I just wanted to make sure we were good.  I know I haven’t been the best at keeping up communication lately.”

“You were never much of a talker, love,” Your shoulder nudged his, prompting him to look at you.  “We’re good… Never better, I’d say.”

Calum’s shoulders visibly relaxed, his wide, charming smile reappearing on his lips.

“There’s the squishy man I know and love,” You said, reaching your fingers up to pinch his cheeks.  “You gonna come lay here like they’re doing or what?”

Glancing around, Calum saw everyone paired up one way or another, couples and best friends alike had one person leaning against the other; the last bit of sunlight casting a glow over all of them.  A feeling of calm settled over the crowd, and Calum especially - he had waited to feel like he had purpose, waited to feel wanted.  As he settled against you, you began to play with his hair gently; and he understood that his purpose was just to be who he was - a man who loved his friends and family wholeheartedly, to want what was best for others, rather than want for himself alone.

tag list:  @haikucal​ @talkfastromance4​ @softbabiestan​ @boyfriend-cal​ @calum-uncrowned​ @wildflowerirwin​ @irwindoll​ @gosh-im-short​ @atlcalm​ @thesubtweeter​ @heavenisapeach​ @ridingcthood​ @loveroflrh​ @mantlereid​ @inlovehoodx​ @irwinkitten​ @n-ctarinenga​​ @g-l-pierce​ @thecurlsofgod​