#*hits you with my baguette* *hits you with my baguette* *hits you with my baguette*

[chameleocoonj]

accidentally invented a new dnd class while watching bake off- the yeastmaster can summon powerful creatures from their carefully cherished starter, but it takes time to proof and bake them before they’re of any real use in battle

[bagholes]

English subtitles for Johanne Sacreblue

You've probably heard of a parody of Emilia Pérez (produced by a Mexican trans woman!!!) called Johanne Sacreblue. The whole thing is in Spanish (and French, obviously), so I translated the whole thing to English (see read more)

While I wasn't involved in the production of the original short, I'm Mexican and I have a degree in Translation and Applied Linguistics, so hopefully you'll enjoy my translation. Please give the video some love and don't give Emilia Pérez more attention!!

!!!!!!!! ENGLISH SUBTITLES !!!!!!!!!

(Hey! I'm a professional translator, and I translated the whole thing in English. Please upvote so more people can enjoy this video!)

Ah, nauseating France.   

Home of wonderful food such as baguettes, croissants, and more.

Lots of wonderful people live here.

Obviously, we’re French. 

This might look like a love story,

but open your eyes and pay attention!

In France there’s rising burglary rates. 

But why tell you about France when I can show you?

Welcome to la France!

♫

Welcome to la France.

A unique and special country.

Where you’ll know what it means to truly love. Love, love from France.

Live the experience of this place. 

[Homer Simpson voice] Wow, classy.

Maitre D': Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?

Homer: OK.

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Crêpes? Les crêpes? I didn’t shower today. 

I’m not worried. I smell just fine. 

Like rats, sweat, and wine.

The cheese I eat smells better than me,

but my perfume can take care of it. 

I love feeling superior. 

Here’s some rapping just because. 

Oh, mon ami. Merci. Sacré bleu. Comment tu t’appelles? Merci. Déjà vu. Bon voyage! Pizza, kwason. 

It’s croissant, croissant, croissant!

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Hit it, Mbappé. 

Viva Cinco the Mayo!

Long live cakes!

Marie Antoinette! 

Long live cakes!

My fucking crêpe still hurts when I think of you

Part 1: surprise and challenge.

Maybe all those years living in a ranch were good for him.

He wasn’t living in a ranch!

He lived in Mexico City for ten years.

Same thing. It might as well have been a jungle.

Mexicans are savages. 

Do you know what they do to cheese over there?

They eat it fresh!

I don’t think he copied their ways.

He’s still a good Frenchman.

He better be. I expect no less.

He’s my only son. 

All the suffering in Mexico must’ve gotten rid of his rebel nature. 

He’ll be the perfect man. The perfect male successor for the largest baguette company in France.

My son. My manly son. 

Did I already mention that my son is a man?

He’s here!

Maman, papa… bonjour!

Son of a-

[title credits] Johanne Sacreblue. Directed by someone with ADHD.

What were you up to in Mexico?

I learned how to open a beer using a bill.

Jonathan is using a dress, Bridgitte. And he has breasts! What do you think he was up to in Mexico?

Now my name is Johanne.

Nonsense! You’re not getting the company. No way. 

That’s fine. I don’t even want it. 

Honey, it’s your future. You’re our only DAUGHTER. You have to take the position. 

You’ll get the company. End of story. 

You don’t even want me to own the company!

Because I didn’t think it’s what you wanted!

Why did we stop speaking French?

What did you say?

Nothing. I got confused.

I’ll tell you something: remember the Ratatouille? They gave us this letter. They challenged us to the national France competition to decide once and for all what’s better: baguettes or croissants. 

Do you want to enjoy your fortune? Win this competition and manage the company. Or go back to Mexico to eat guacamole.

For the last time, no! You won’t get the company. 

I’m the only one who’s always loved croissants.

I’m the oldest son. It’s my right. 

Your right? How can think that about your brothers?

Any of them could do a good job.

Hugo can’t get over his artistic phase and he’s addicted to sniffing paint thinner!

I’m not just sniffing paint thinner! Yellow paint makes me happy.

Mario Hugo! Good luck with his twangy voice.

Mario Hugo: I agree with my beloved brother, but I love you, my family. 

No one knows what you’re saying!

Dugo is young! Why can’t it be me?

Well, first of all, you don’t have a penis!

Oof. Gotcha.

I’m trans. Other than that, I haven’t changed at all. 

Does it really affect you that much?

I’ve made myself clear: anything that affects our family affects me!

It’s not that we don’t love you, honey, it’s just that… you embarrass us. 

You’re not even an Hugo!

Yes, I am! I’m [French accent] Arturo! (Translator’s note: the rhyme got lost in translation. Sorry about that). 

“Arturo” isn’t “Hugo”!

Yes, it is! Ar-tu-ro!

Where did you get that?

Well… Chofls!! The letter!

The Sacrebleu have invited us to the Great Paris Competition. We will show once and for all what food item best represents our country! If you beat that family’s stupid transexual, you’ll get the company

I don’t know what to do, bestie. I don’t want to own that goddamn company. 

And why don’t you learn how to do something?

Because if I do it, they’re gonna cut me off, and I’ll be an unemployed, 28-year-old trans woman who has no life skills. 

Why don’t you just tell your father that you don’t want to do it and that you won’t do it?

It’s too late. I have no choice. 

Bestie, I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy your fortune with no commitment.

It’s awful…

Good evening, ladies. What can I get you?

I’ll have some French molletes.

I’ll have chicken.

Of course, ma’am. How shall we cook it?

Anything is fine as long as you kill it as cruelly as possible. 

Excellent choice, ma’am.

Anything else? Would that be all?

That’ll be all. Well, actually, I think I also want-

You said that would be all! You must assume the consequences of your decisions. Rot in hell! [spits]

Oh my, what a great service!

I know! They have the best customer service in France! Okay, so are you signing up for the competition?

I really don’t have a choice…

Bestie, you can do anything. You’re stronger than every woman I know, and I’m not just saying this because you used to be a man…

Thanks for the clarification.

You’re gonna compete and you’re gonna win.

Emily, you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only reason I wanted to come to Paris. I wanted to see my friend Emily in Paris. It was the only reason I wanted to come tot this city: see Emily in Paris.

Oh là là, I know! Everyone tells me that! What I don’t get is why you don’t want to compete. This is such an honor for France-

It’s just that there’s a lot of things I don’t understand since I came back. Why are we so impolite? Why do we love animal cruelty? And why exactly do we hate Muslims? 

Because it’s fun!

Yeah, maybe, but have you ever considered that it’s wrong?

Oh my God! You’re right! I’d never thought about it! We’re awful!

Oui!

What we do to birds… we drown them in cognac! Why are we doing it? Who thought of that?

I don’t know.

I feel.. dirty! I want to take a shower!

I knew I wasn’t crazy!

Seriously… I never thought that we were doing something wrong. I always thought that people who get minimum wage liked how we treat them. No wonder they sent you to Mexico… You’re crazy.

I got sent to Mexico for being trans.

They sent you to Mexico because you’ve been hallucinating. You’re seeing Marie Antoinette.

I’m not hallucinating! It’s the actual ghost of Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette: don’t listen to hear. She dresses like a Guatemalan. I’m as real as my tragic death. They should behead her for having such damaged hair.

There’s no point in knowing the truth about France. At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary French millionaire with enough money to live for four days. There’s nothing I can do.

Marie Antoinette: [unintelligible] sleep paralysis at night.

If you win, all of France will listen to you.

Ladybug: Welcome to the most important competition of la France, where France’s most important families will make a very important decision.

Cat Noir: that’s right! We’re here to make a very important decision. What food best represents France: baguettes or croissants?

Our fellow citizens will know what we’re talking about, but for those dirty foreigners that only know how to use soap…

Wear perfume!

We’ll explain the rules.

There’s two events: whoever wins both will be victorious!

The first even will be a race! The first one to reach the Eiffel tower, touch it and say our catchphrase “we give up!” will be the winner!

Without further ado, we’re heading to the competition!

It’s the best race I’ve seen years!

The Ratatouille throw a croissant to the Sacreblue and almost slashes her throat. It’s cat-tastic!

But Johanne takes the lead with 400 rats, and she wins the race!

Rats! Meow!

Here she comes!

Vive la France!

Your love for croissants ends here. What an embarrassment!

Don’t feel bad, honey. I never really expected anything from you. 

Arturo, I’m not gonna lie…

Brother, defeat will only make you stronger.

What?

You’re a great man. You’ll make it. 

Can I have five French dollars to buy yellow paint? I want to paint. 

Later that night in some French dumpster

♫

I’m just a trash man in Paris.

Another piece of trash in Paris.

But I’m also the greatest trash

I’m the trash man.

I’m such trash that I made a fortune using other cultures.

I’m such trash that I enjoy cancelling last minute

because I’m scared 

that they’ll see my tiny baguette.

I don’t have the guts to say that I fucked up.

I’m scared to know what people think of me

If I’m a good guy or just a bald bad guy

I’m such trash that it’s embarrassing.

I thought Karla Sofia was from Puebla.

I’m such trash that I wrote a musical about narcos.

“Penis to vagina, woman to man.”

What the fuck was that shit, bro?

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

Part 2: from hate to love

Why did you ask me to meet you here?

[sigh] I came to ask you to stop fighting over something as dumb as bread.

Baguettes are just bread, but croissants are France itself. It’s in our veins, in our wine, in the air we breathe!

Arturo, wait, don’t do it!

[coughing]

You can’t take a deep breath in France. Dumbass.

Whatever. You’re just saying this because you’ve been away for a long time. You’re nothing but a chimichanga lover. 

Cinco de Mayo!

How dare you!

Does it make you feel good to be a man hitting a woman?

Actually, yes. Now I get why we do it.

I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! What’s wrong with France? Why do they like to hit women? Why do they like racism? Can’t you see that what we’re doing is wrong?

Actually, no. I had never thought about it. I never considered that… Oh my God… We’re monsters! What are we doing? We must put an end to this!

But how?

You’ll do it with me. With your amazing arguments, we’ll change France. 

Do you think it can be done? But how?

Oui, mademoiselle. If you let me win the second event, it’ll be a tie, and they’ll have to listen to us according to the French rules I hadn’t mentioned before. 

I don’t know if I can trust you.

Trust me, mademoiselle. Trust this stinky French heart.

Alright. Kiss me.

Do you want me to kiss you?

Yes. Give me a French kiss.

Here it’s just “a kiss”, stupid

Welcome to the second competition!

This is the most fabulous competition! It’s the racism competition!

That’s right, Cat Noir! And for those stupid Americans who don’t know what we’re talking about, in this competition, participants are given a total of 30 minutes to deport and catch as many immigrants as possible.

Everything is allowed: from making up crimes to blackmailing! 

Each Muslim is worth 5 points. However, participants can get extra points from hate crimes against Muslims, Black people, Latinos, members of the LGBT community, and fans of Emily in Paris!

Let’s watch the racism competition!

We apologize for the technical issues. Cat Noir had a fanatic episode. 

It was amazing! With a great lead, our winner, Arturo, was victorious. So we’ll have to call this a tie. 

Oh! For the first time in more than ten years, we’re getting some words from our ten French emperors!

Stop!

There… won’t be… a tie!

This decision will no longer be postponed. 

 Declaramos abierto el duelo final.

And it’ll happen right now.

Because I love Queen Marie Antoinette.

The final duel…

It’s the fight to the death with baguettes!

Good luck! And may the Frenchest win. Yes. Oui. Oui. Oui.

[Elmo]

Part 3: destiny

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

I think there’s gonna be a fight to the death with baguettes.

What? Fight to the death with baguettes? What’s that?

Oh, fight to the death with baguettes. I’ve heard about it. I think they’re gonna fight to the death… with baguettes.

[gasp]

Johanne: I don’t want to fight to the death with baguettes with you.

Arturo: Neither do I, but we have no choice.

J: Yes, there is. Haven’t they considered that this is wrong?

No!

Arturo: Papa Johns!

Papa Johns: I pitted your families against you with a little help from whom you love the most… your butlers. 

Arturo: Chofls!

Johanne: Wigles, why?

Wiggles: I’m sorry, madame. I need the money, and you haven’t given me raise in 25 years. 

Papa Johns: I’ll destroy you so the greatest French food gets recognition: French fries!

Johanne: You’re losing a lot of wine.

Johanne: you have a rat on your head!

Papa Johns: this tiny chef taught me his secrets, and I used them for evil. 

Wigles: I think I got Stockholm syndrome due to so many years of labor exploitation.

And that’s how we got away from the bad guy, Mr. French ambassador. 

Controlled by a rat… The nightmare of every French. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Johanne Sacreblue and Arturo Ratatouille restored the glory of France. What a captivating story you’ve brought us, full of pain and social commentary. Is there anything else you would like to add before we run out of funds?

Well, actually, yes. As many of you know, I went to Mexico, and my fellow Mexicans asked me to bring a gift to France when I came back, and what a better person to give it to than the ambassador? 

Oh, what wonderful surprise have you brought from Mexico? Could it be some wonderful Mexican tortillas?

Wait… Is that-

Yes, a cake. Un gâteau. 

[Credits]

And that’s the story of how your parents saved la France.

Thanks for telling me these stories, grandma.

My grand-son. My grand-son, a boy…

[sigh] 

♫

Tito, my grandson Tito (translator’s note: another rhyme that got lost in translation. Sorry again). Tito, tito. My grandson Tito. 

You smell like frog legs in the morning.

You smell like you haven’t showered in weeks. 

You smell like a moldy baguette.

You smell like the omelette that I ate. 

You smell like cheese. Smelly, smelly!

You smell like your grandma.

Tito, Tito, Tito, my grandson Tito. 

You smell like snails. You smell like escargot.

You smell like France. 

[sunrizef1]

Bed Chem

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x Reader

Warnings: None

Authors Note: Im working lateeee cuz I'm too busy pretending Logan has a seatttt | this took so long actually wtf

TWITTER

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Paris, France

liked by iamrebeccad carlossainz55 and 12,888,999 others

yourusername what a show @givenchy

load comments…

user1 mother

user2 my queen

user3 prettyyyyyyyyyyy

user4 🤭

iamrebeccad my fav girl 💋

liked by yourusername

user5 hot

user6 ❤️❤️

user7 I'm in love

user8 the sheer is giving

user9 I love you pls reply 😭

user10 my favvvvvvv I love HERRRRRR

user11 NEW MUSIC PLEASE BAE

carlosainz55 do you know your dress is see-through 😓

yourusername its givenchy!

user12 I need that dress 😭

user13 Y/N WHATS YOUR OPINION ON LOGAN SARGEANT

theweeknd 🔥

liked by yourusername

user14 MY pop icon

——

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

iamrebeccad

🫶

yourusername

ilyyyy 💋

——

carlossainz55

y do u insist on calling me father so much

yourusername

Mama y papa

carlossainz55

what

yourusername

Papa y mama

carlossainz55

Okay

——

MESSAGES

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

NEW MUSIC???????

——

user2

IS THAT JACK????

——

iamrebeccad

Wait!!! What!!!

Can I hear it 🤭

yourusername

Ofc love 🤞

iamrebeccad

Is it about a certain American….

yourusername

Ahhh

Can't say 😶

iamrebeccad

That's a yes to me

——

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

ARE YOU GOING TO THE RACE QUEEN

——

user2

Logan????

——

carlossainz55

Are you finally coming to a race???

yourusername

I have to be in Paris Sunday for a shoot 🫣

But I will be there the other days

But secretly

So don't tell anyone 😶

carlossainz55

Your secrets safe with me 🤐

——

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

🎵Paris - Taylor Swift

liked by logansargeant carlossainz55 and 12,999,888 others

yourusername je pense que vous souffrez d'un manque de vitamine moi

load comments…

user15 oui oui oui baguette

user16 viva la France

user17 someone call char lechair

user18 I thought she was gonna be at the race 😓

user19 BESTIE YOUR BOYFRIEND FINISHED 8TH DID YOU SEE

liked by yourusername

user19 SHE LIKED THIS COMMENTTTT

user20 “I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me” lmfao the caption

user21 wait what does the paper say????

user22 “I'm so fucking sick of having to hide how deeply I feel and how passionately I love you”

user21 WAIT THATS ADORABLEEEE

user23 my francophile queen

user24 I didn't know the Eiffel tower was so small

user25 this is so aesthetic core

user26 the yellow Parisian lighting really makes it

user27 I can name a certain American who's probably suffering from a lack of you

oscarpiastri oui

yourusername ok

user28 Oscar and y/n: my fav deadpan icons

user29 ooh la la huh huh huh 🥐

user30 are you happy to be in Paris?

yourusername oui

user31 y/n whats your favourite part of Paris

yourusername smells of piss. Constantly.

user32 pretty pretty pretty girl

logansargeant 🇫🇷🥐

liked by yourusername

user33 THE SONG FOR THE POST BEING PARIS BY TAYLOR???? IM SO IN LOVE THAT I MIGHT STOP BREATHING DREW A MAP ON YOUR BEDROOM CEILING???? She's in love!!!!!

——

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

user1

LOGAN??????

——

user2

boyfriend spotted

——

user3

Soft launch?????

——

user4

don't be shy

Post him on the feed

——

carlossainz55

you're welcome

I was the messenger

I did this

——

yourusername

liked by logansargeant maxverstappen1 and 15,999,800 others

yourusername surprise! My new single “bed chem” is out now… come sleep with me 💋🛏️

load comments…

user34 WOOOOOO

user35 its so good 😭🫶😭😭🫶

user36 LOGANNNNNNNNN

user37 no tag????

user38 the first verse just being the most thinly veiled reference to the givenchy show… like girl 😭

user39 “I was in a sheer dress the day that we met” we've all seen the black dress 🤭

user40 “we were both in a rush we talked for a sec” that one video of them lmfao

user41 “your friend hit me up so we could connect” I say that's Oscar.

user42 Ive chosen to believe its Alex

user43 THIS SONGS ABOUT LOGAN?????

user44 “manifest that you're oversized” I'm going to pretend this isn't about Logan so I still see him again

oscarpiastri a lot of words I don't want to hear about my friend btw

yourusername well… idc

user45 who's the cute guy with the wide blue eyes? 😍

carlossainz55 ive finally made it into a song

liked by yourusername

user46 ok wait but the Paris pic is so cute 😭

user47 those messages are so funny 😭

user48 he only has eyes for his girl 🤭

iamrebeccad SO GOODDDDDD

yourusername 🫶

user49 I sense logie bear

user50 Logan Sargeant hard launch on the feed

logansargeant 🔥

yourusername 💋

——

logansargeant added to their story

yourusername

Ily lo 💋💋💋💋

logansargeant

🤭🫶

——

Taglist:

@c-losur3 @llando4norris @lokideservesahug @casperlikej @evie-119 @awritingtree

[sometimesanalice]

Sweetest Devotion

Summary: Loving Bradley is the easiest thing you've ever done, and coming home to him is always the best part of your day. Especially when you come home with cake. But a slight mixup at the bakery leads to the sweetest of promises.

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Female Reader

Length: 5k

Warnings: So much fluff (side effects may include giggling and kicking your feet)

(Author’s Note: this fic was written for my one year celebration of the ‘Like I Can’ series, but it can be read on its own!)

After a long week, there was no place you’d rather be than at home with Bradley.

The two of you have been living together for a couple of months now, but seeing his Bronco parked in the driveway of the condo you shared knowing the empty spot next to it is meant for your own still made your heart flutter out of sheer giddiness.

Even if he still teased you about your practical Honda Civic’s lack of street cred. But it did have a spacious backseat with its own set of doors and an actual trunk, unlike the Bronco.

And on the rare rainy days you got in San Diego, Bradley was asking to borrow your car rather than risk the interior of his big blue baby. Those days you just got to preen as you handed over your car keys to him. Sure, you could be the one to drop him off, but it was funnier watching the way he valiantly attempted to hold back his grimace as he tried to adjust the driver’s seat to comfortably fit his bulk.

As you pull into your spot, you’re hit with that same gust of summer breeze warmth you always are as you. It was a feeling you didn’t expect to go away any time soon.

It takes a bit of finesse getting the front door open with your work tote and purse slung over one shoulder while you cradled the paper bags of bread and box of treats you’d stopped for on the way home in the other.

Bradley had texted you to let you know that he was making dinner earlier, but had forgotten the bread during his grocery run and had asked if you didn’t mind making a quick stop to grab some. He’d promised to make it worth your while, and while you would have done it for him anyways, a little extra incentive was always nice.

Especially after the way he had teased you in the shower this morning.

You picked up the baguette that he’d requested along with a couple loaves of fresh bread for sandwiches that you were planning to stick in the freezer for later. At the checkout, they’d had a few fun pink bakery boxes packed with six individually wrapped cake slices in different flavors. It seemed like more fun than the basic red velvet cupcakes you had been debating as you waited for your turn to pay, so you’d picked up one of those boxes too. Since it was Friday, you figured a little treat was very much deserved after such a long week.

The two of you had just gotten back from a little trip back home not too long ago, but you were already dying for another vacation. Ideally one that involved creamy blended beverages served in coconuts and Bradley Bradshaw wearing some 5-inch inseam swim trunks with his thick thighs on display in the golden sunlight.

It had been so nice to see your parents and to visit the sights of your childhood growing up together. You’ve always gone home for holidays, but it had been years since he’d been there with you. Some things had stayed the same like the ice cream shop where Bradley had had his first job. And some things had changed with the times like the empty parking lot where he’d first taught you how to drive was now the site of an upscale organic grocery store. Now that you and Bradley were you and Bradley, the nostalgia of your younger years felt extra sweet as you’d strolled with his hand tucked yours.

It’s a miracle you get through the door without dropping anything.

You’re waiting to hear the scamper of little paws against the laminate floor headed your way as you kick off your heels, Duck was usually the first one to greet you when you got home.

The puppy was growing all too quick for your liking. For as much as Bradley grumbled about being woken up early on the weekends by the black and white ball of fluff, you’ve caught him on more than one occasion cooing at the dog and slipping him treats. The sweet, goofy little dog was the perfect addition to your dynamic duo.

Even if Bradley still got huffy about the name and how Duck had come to be in your life.

On the occasional night when Bob’s friend Casey from the animal shelter- the man you’d been on exactly half of a date with once close to a year ago- was invited to come hang out, your boyfriend always was finding reasons to stand a little closer to you or leave his hands lingering a little longer on your hips. Those nights usually end with the two of you sweaty and out of breath, tangled in the sheets of your canopy bed.

You can hear Bradley singing along with one of his playlists in the kitchen and the sounds of drawers opening and closing as you tuck your purse and tote under the side table at the entrance. You smile to yourself as you drop your key fob into the bowl where his are already resting, the key to his Bronco was on the same keychain with the little fighter jet charm that you’d given him when you were teens when Mav had given him the Montero for his 16th birthday.

Taking the bread and box of cake slices with you, you pass through the living room you see Duck passed out belly up on his Sherpa lined dog bed. His ears flopped out to the side and his little paws twitching as he dreams about chasing balls or squirrels. It’s a good think your hands are full or you’d be collecting even more photos of your sweet boy in addition to the hundreds you already had on your phone.

“I’m home,” you greet, rounding the corner to the kitchen, the savory smell of onions and garlic growing stronger the closer you get, “And I come bearing a baguette.”

Standing in front of the stove is Bradley with a checkered kitchen towel slung over his shoulder. His curls look a little damp, still drying from the shower he must have taken earlier. The soft looking shirt he’s wearing is pulled taut across his back, and the sweatpants he has on are hugging the curve of his ass in the best way. He looks so at ease and comfortable, none of the tense strain in his body that he sometimes comes home with.

Bradley looks over his shoulder towards you with a grin on his face, “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” His pretty brown eyes rake over you in a way that has you wondering about just how he is planning on thanking you for picking up the baguette you’d stopped for. He lets out a low whistle, “Damn, I love that skirt on you.”

“I’m glad you clarified,” you say, sending him a wink and setting your bakery haul down on the island counter, “I wasn’t sure if you were talking to me or the armload of freshly baked carbs.”

He leans his hip on the side of the counter, “A little yeast and flour have got nothing on you, kid.”

“Now you know you can’t go around saying things like that an expect me not to fall in love with you,” you tease, opening the freezer to put the sandwich bread away.

“I’m failing to see a problem with that- oh shit,” he curses, hastily turning back to the stove to adjust the range knob as something spits and sizzles on the top of the convection cooktop.

You step around the island and over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind him. He’s always been the right kind of warm, the kind that makes you want to melt into him. You press your face against his back, his shirt soft against your cheek. Under the woodsy smell of his body wash there’s still a faint lingering scent of jet fuel. It’s your favorite smell.

“Hi, sweet girl,” he says, settling his big hand over yours, still stirring the sauce with the other. And you can almost see the easy, contented smile on his face just from the gentle tone of his voice.

“Hi, Bradley,” you hum, happy to be home.

“How was your day?”

“I’m glad it’s the weekend,” you say with a sigh, “The beach day tomorrow with everyone is going to be much needed.” A sympathetic sound rumbles from his chest as his thumb runs over the back of your hand. You were looking forward to sitting under the shade of the stripped umbrella and feeling the sand between your toes as you sip on an icy cold beer. “How was yours?”

“Not too bad, I took Seresin out and now he owes me $200. So overall, it’s been a pretty good day,” he says, clearly pleased with himself. “Cyclone let us out early, so I was productive. Did some errands, got the groceries. Well, most of them. I even took Duck to the dog park and let him run around for a bit. He made friends with a Great Dane, I took a few videos of them playing on my phone for you.”

The mental image of Bradley recording a video of your puppy being cute and playing in the park in the same way a proud dad would film his kid’s little league game makes you feel more than a little weak in the knees.

Pressing up on your toes, you skim a kiss against the side of his neck and prop your chin on his shoulder to peer at what he’s cooking up.

“It smells really good in here,” you tell him, taking in the pot of sauce simmering away on the stove. Off to the side there’s a cutting board with some fresh basil chopped up and a pile of papery vegetable scraps and a couple empty cans of tomato sauce.

“Yeah? It’s been awhile since I’ve channeled my inner Stanly Tucci, so I thought some homemade spaghetti and meatballs sounded good.”

Your eyebrows raise on their own, the surprise evident in your voice, “Homemade meatballs?”

“Ok, maybe those came from Trader Joe’s,” Bradley admits, “But the sauce is all me. I even put the red pepper flakes in it the way you like it.” He reaches over for a handful of basil and adds it into the pot.

You send your thanks up to Carole for making sure her son at least had known the basics of cooking. He could more than hold his own in the kitchen, and the competent way he handled a chef knife in his big hands was endlessly attractive to you.

“‘Semi-homemade with Bradley Bradshaw’ has a nice ring to it, want me to pitch it as a reboot to the Food Network?” You feel the way he chuckles under your palms, the muscles of his stomach contracting and releasing.

“I don’t think I’d make it out with my liver intact. That woman loved her cocktails strong, I’m pretty sure her sangria recipe would send me to the floor,” he jokes, “No wonder why our moms were always watching her.”

“A woman after my own heart,” you sing, “I’m so glad I inherited such good taste from them.”

Bradley shakes his head amused, “The good news for you is that there’s a bottle of red open and waiting for you, funny girl.”

The promise of wine perks you up immediately. Pasta, wine, cake, and Bradley. What more could a girl need?

“God, you’re the man of my dreams.”

“I sure hope so,” he says, squeezing your hand.

“Oh, you are so getting lucky tonight, Lieutenant.” You take advantage of the way he leans his head back and laughs to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

You slide your arms back from around his waist, only managing to take one step towards the bottle of your favorite Cabernet Sauvignon that’s breathing over near the sink with one of your wine glasses set out next to it before you’re being stopped with a gentle hand on your wrist.

“Hold up, where do you think you’re going, kid?” Bradley asks, tugging you back to him with a grin.

He doesn’t wait for your response before he is leaning in to properly kiss you for the first time since he left for work this morning.

At the press of his lips against yours, you feel every ounce of strain you’d been carrying from the day dissolve like melted sugar. A satisfied hum escapes you and you feel the way the corner of Bradley’s mouth ticks up at your reaction to him. His hands cup your face, tilting you head until it was at the perfect angle for him to deepen the kiss. You don’t even notice he’s back you up against the island until the countertop is digging into your lower back, too distracted by the way the coarse hairs of his mustache scrape along your upper lip.

If it weren’t for the sound of the timer going off the two of you might have almost would have forgotten about dinner entirely, it wouldn’t have been the first time it’s happened.

“Is there anything I can help with?” you ask, smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt from the way you’d had it clutched in your fists just moments ago before letting go of him so that he can silence the beeping coming from the oven.

“You want to make us a salad to go with it?”

“Yes, chef,” you purr as you spin on your heel taking off in the other direction.

And really you should have expected the cheeky way his hand connects with your ass in a quick, sharp slap. You shoot him a glare over your shoulder, but he’s already facing the stove and stirring the sauce again as he adjusts the seasoning with a smirk.

You take a moment to pour yourself a glass of the wine Bradley had opened for you and take a sip. The bold, juicy flavor dancing across your tongue as you set about gathering the things to make a simple salad to go with the dinner he’s made for the two of you.

This is your favorite part of the day, when it’s just the two of you together.

The back and forth has always been easy with him. Whether it’s making dinner or running errands or doing laundry together. The things that always felt mundane on their own had become some of the things you most looked forward to during the week. It’s not that you need to be around him, but you always want to be around him.

When Bradley declares the sauce to be perfect, he comes and joins you at the island. Grabbing a cutting board of his own he starts slicing up the fresh baguette you’d picked up, offering you the end to snack on.

“Oh, what’s this?” he asks, picking up the box of assorted cake slices.

You continue chopping the cucumber in front of you, “Isn’t that fun? They had a stack of those at the checkout. I think they must have made too many cakes this week on accident, but it’s so smart of them so sell them that way. Why get one flavor when you can have six? Best of both worlds for everyone.”

“That so, huh?” he sounds amused by your enthusiasm, “Is there something else you wanted to talk to me about?”

It hadn’t been a particularly noteworthy visit, other than you’d been able to score a parking spot in front of the building, “Uh, not that I can think of?”

“You sure?” Bradley prods.

“No?... Oh! I was going to pick up that marbled rye you like while I was there getting the baguette, but they were already sold out. So I got a loaf of the multigrain brown bread and some sourdough instead.”

“Mmm, interesting.”

Stopping your salad prep, you look up at him skeptically, “Ok, why are you mmm-ing me, Bradshaw?”

Bradley’s eyes are alight with playful mischief as he slides the box of the cake slices towards you and pointedly double taps on the sticker on the upper right corner of the pink box with his finger.

You hadn’t stopped to read the shiny gold label when you’d grabbed it at the bakery, the tempting layers of cake and frosting and fillings had immediately sold you on it, but you couldn’t unsee what the curly scripted font said now.

Wedding Cake Sampler

“So, when’s the wedding? I’m assuming I’ll be invited,” he grins.

You feel your face get hot as you realize your mistake. It wasn’t just a sample box, but a very specific type of sample box. A very specific type of sample box for a very specific occasion.

Suddenly the interaction with the bakery employee as you were paying makes so much more sense now.

“Oh my god, the girl at the checkout said ‘Congratulations’ and I said ‘Happy Fri-yay’ back to her,” you groan, covering your eyes with your hands, “I thought she meant it like ‘Congrats on making it to Friday’ thing.”

He laughs, “Sweet girl, that’s about the damn cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Happy Fri-yay, Bradley! She was congratulating me on our- I mean- the nonexistent impending nuptials she thought I had and I reply to her that? We need to find a new bakery, I can’t go there ever again,” you lament. It’s truly a tragedy, since they have the best sticky pecan rolls in the area.

“And you call me a drama queen,” Bradley lightly teases, “She probably thought it was funny.”

You groan again, louder this time. If he was going to call you a drama queen, you’d at least try out your best Mariah Carey impersonation.

Your face is still hidden behind your hands when you feel Bradley gather you into his arms, running a warm hand up and down your back. “C’mon, it’s not even that bad. I’m sure I did at least three things more embarrassing than that today.”

“Yeah, I bet you did too,” you grumble into his chest without heat. The way he chuckles at your surliness lets you know he doesn’t take it personally. Not only is he getting laid, but you decide you’re definitely going to give him head too for being the sweetest man alive.

He takes your wrists in his hands and pulls the away from your face, “I gotta tell you, I’m glad it was just a little mix up. It would have sucked to find out my girlfriend had a fiancé I didn’t know about.”

You can see every shade of brown in his eyes as he looks into yours, the affection and amusement rippling there the same way the light catches the surface of a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning.

At this point you really do just have to laugh at yourself. It’s such a silly thing to get worked up about, especially since you know you’re probably more ruffled about Bradley potentially thinking that you’re trying to drop a not-so-subtle hint with it. And fact of the matter is that you still probably would have picked it up anyways, you just might have peeled off the incriminating sticker off in the car before bringing it in.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Bradshaw. I’ve got my hands more than full enough with you.”

“Yeah, you do,” he boasts, the insinuation is not lost on you.

You snort a laugh and shove at his chest lightly. He drops a kiss to the side of your head and makes his way back to the other side of the kitchen island as you get back to your salad making duties.

“Hey, just so you know, I can’t wait to eat wedding cake with you later,” he says as he continues to slice up the baguette.

You playfully toss a cucumber at him for his teasing and he pops in mouth with a grin.

A little later, when you have your steaming bowls of pasta in front of you at the dinner table, he raises his glass of wine to you, “Happy Fri-yay, sweet girl.”

And your laugh is as crystalline as the clink of your glass meeting his in cheers.

After the leftovers are put away and the dishes cleaned, the two of you are cozied up watching the new romcom that was just added on Netflix.

You’re stretched out across the couch with your feet in Bradley’s lap eating the cake you’d picked up. You try a bit of each flavor deciding which one you like the most to save it for the end, while Bradley takes his chances and eats one slice at a time before moving on to the next one. It’s truly unhinged behavior and you couldn’t help but tease him about it when you’d noticed his cake tasting methodology.

Bradley moans around a forkful of cake and you know he’s just found the carrot cake- his favorite.

He’s always been a bit of a pseudo health nut with questionable logic. “It’s got carrots and walnuts, it’s basically a superfood” he’s claimed on multiple occasions, while purposefully excluding the part about the pound of butter and cream cheese that goes into the frosting.

“I’d clear my schedule in heartbeat and take you to City Hall any day of the week as long as we get to have this carrot cake when we get married,” he says right before he licks the frosting off of his fork.

Your breath catches in your throat.

When, not if.

He says it so easily like there’s not a doubt in his mind that it’ll be you and him facing each other at the end of an aisle as vows about forever are exchanged.

He says it like a fact.

He says it like he knows.

“I didn’t realize I missed the part where you asked me,” you say, setting your plate on the coffee table in front of you, too full of the hope of it all to keep eating.

“And here I was waiting on you, kid,” he says playfully, taking another bite.

He’s teasing, you know he is. Bradley isn’t the type of man who would lead you on or play games with your heart.

“Bradley.” It’s an almost whine the way his name comes out of your mouth as you nudge his thigh with your foot. You turn your head to bury your face in the cushion of the couch, suddenly feeling very bashful.

The two of you have never talked about it, at least not like this before. Only in casual passing comments like getting a place with a bigger backyard for Duck or about setting up a joint banking account. A hypothetical future.

“Hey, c’mon. Look at me,” he coaxes, squeezing your foot. When you peek at him, the look on his face is all open sincerity, “You’re my forever girl. I love you and I’m planning on spending the rest of my life with you. That is, if you’re ok with that.”

A rush butterflies happily swoop and swirl around in your stomach.

He’s been in your life for almost three decades now. You’d known the boy, the teen, and you more than liked the man he’d become. You had absolutely no intention of ever letting him go. He was yours. Forever and always.

“That’d be ok with me,” you tell him freely. You watch as his smile gets wider and broader until it’s taking up his whole face, his eyes crinkling around the edges. “I think I could handle quite a few more decades with you, Bradley Bradshaw.”

“Is that so?” he drawls, his fingers skimming up and down the top of your calf.

“Oh, definitely. You’re stuck with me,” you grin.

“Good.”

He tugs your ankle, pulling you until your back is flat against the couch. You squeal in delight as he pins you down on the cushions, your arms and legs wrap around him on their own drawing him in even closer. Then he’s kissing every inch of your face that he can reach as you laugh in delight.

If it weren’t for Bradley’s sturdy bulk on top of you, you’re pretty sure you might have just floated away. You’ve never felt this incandescently light in your whole life.

He brushes one more quick kiss to the top of your nose before he pulls away, “But just so we’re on the same page, that wasn’t an official proposal. More like a declaration of intention.”

“I don’t know,” you muse, stroking his pink cheek, “Sounds like you’re desperate to wife me up, Bradley. Practically begging for me to take you to the courthouse.”

His hands go straight for curve of your waist, attacking that ticklish spot that’s always made you giggle and squirm. Only taking mercy on you once you’re out of breath. You’re almost positive that the smile on your face might be there permanently.

You don’t miss the intensity in Bradley’s eyes as they trace over your face as he settles himself more fully on you, “You don’t know the half of it, kid. But I’m letting you know now, I’m not going to make either one of us wait long for it.”

And then his mouth is on yours.

You feel the promise he’s making to you in his kiss. The caress of his hands along your body feels like a vow. You feel every ounce of just how much he loves and cherishes you. The cake was sweet, but his honeyed kiss tastes even sweeter.

“Tell me we can have carrot cake at our wedding, sweet girl,” he murmurs against your lips.

Our wedding.

The thought of it made you giddy.

You wanted to wear his ring on your finger just as much as you wanted to see him wearing one of his own one day. You liked your last name, but there was nothing more you wanted than to be Mrs. Bradshaw. It would be another thing you and Carole could share. A name and the everlasting love for her son.

“Ok, we can have carrot cake at our wedding,” you agree, wholeheartedly, “It’s basically a superfood, after all.”

“Damn right it is,” he beams.

The cake is quickly forgotten in favor of pulling your shirt over your head.

You might not have a ring. Yet.

But you did have a lifetime with Bradley and a carrot cake to look forward to. And that was more than enough for you.

Bradley was pretty sure that there was nothing better on this Earth than having you draped across his chest as you slept soundly in his arms. Your breathing had softened and evened out ages ago, but his mind was whirling with thoughts of his bright future with you.

He’d meant it when he’d told you he wasn’t going to make you wait long. Bradley didn’t know how much longer he could go on calling you his girlfriend when all he really wanted to call you his wife. He’s imagined you in a white dress walking towards him more times than he could count.

When he’d planned the surprised trip back to your shared hometown as a gift for your six-month anniversary, he might have had some ulterior motives. While it was nice to see the place you’d both grown up in again as adults, there had been a more pressing issue on his mind the whole time.

He hadn’t been able to control the nervous bounce of his leg or his sweaty palms when he’d ask your mom’s permission for your hand in marriage. It hadn’t been any easier the second time, when he’d had to do it all over again with you dad that sunny day at the golf course.

Bradley knew it was a bit of an antiquated tradition, but he’d never proposed to anyone before and he wanted to get it right. He wanted you and your parents to know just how serious he was about his intentions to love you for the rest of his life. He’d even asked Mav for his blessing too, just to make sure he had his bases covered.

It had thrown him through a loop when at the end of the trip you mom had slipped him the ring she’d worn while she was married to your dad. She’d told him there was no expectations or pressure to use it, she just wanted him to have it just in case.

The engagement ring his mom had worn had been tucked in the back corner of his nightstand for almost four months now. Bradley had pulled it out of storage sometime around the third month of officially dating you. It would be too soon for anyone else, but he’s already had decades with you. And he’d never been more sure about anything in his life as he was about knowing you were the one for him.

The two of you had always been perfectly right on time in your own way.

He’d dwelled on it for weeks trying to figure out if he should give them both to you at once. Or if he should propose to you with one and save the other to you during another monumental moment, like when the two of you started a family. He figured could turn one into a necklace or something for you.

Bradley could feel the presence of both rings every time he walked into the bedroom. They were both equally were important to him, he wanted to get it right.

His mom had known and loved you, he knew that she’d have been so excited to see her ring on your finger. And after his mom had passed, yours had helped him during those rough days in ways he didn’t think he could ever properly thank her for. Even though your parents’ marriage hadn’t worked out, they were the reason that you were here and he couldn’t imagine his life without you.

It wasn’t until Natasha had shown him the Toi et Moi style ring that things locked into place in a way that made his heart race at the very idea of it.

The right ring for the right girl.

He lets his fingers trail up and down your back gently as you slept soundly against him.

In the kitchen earlier that night, he might have bent the truth about his day just a little bit.

The final design had been sent to his email that morning. And it was more perfect than he could have imagined.

He did win $200 from Jake and had gone to the dog park with Duck, but he’d also stopped by the jewelers across town to give them both of the family heirlooms because he didn’t want to waste a single minute.

Two diamonds, one ring. The start of you and him. A story of your beginnings to be worn on the finger that would tie him to you with a golden thread for the rest of your lives together.

He’d even paid extra to have it engraved.

My sweet girl. My forever girl.

I genuinely thought I was one and done after I wrote my first fic in December of last year. And then came these two. 'Like I Can' was meant to be a oneshot that turned into a 3-part series that turned into half of my masterlist. I adore this couple with my whole heart. Thank you for reading along and celebrating with me!

Elle (@callsignspark) thank you for sending me the TikTok that inspired the headcanon about the wedding cake sampler, I'm showering you with shiny 'thank you' shaped confetti! And another big thank you to Jordan (@gretagerwigsmuse) for getting as giddy about these two as I do and for always enthusiastically reading the snippets I send you! You both are the best!

If you enjoyed these two, you can read their story from the start here!

You can read my other stories here!

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[risustravelogue]

I think Wriothesley is foreign to the concept of weekends due to his position demanding him to be present at his office at all times so people can find him with ease. Heck, it looks like he sleeps in his office, on that cushy couch of his.

But when you and he become an item and your relationship progresses to a point where he thinks you'd be comfortable with the idea of sharing a bed with him, he realizes that hitting the hay in his office is no longer an option.

Unbeknownst to you, he actually has a bedroom in the nicest, quietest place in the Fortress with a big window looking into the ocean—he just never uses it because it's so far away to the point where it's more convenient to sleep in his couch. But he's determined to make you happy, so he orders a king-sized bed in secret and installs it himself (to the headache of the building maintenance guy who's in charge of that area). After it's done, he brings it up on a dinner date.

"Darling," he starts with an uncharacteristically hesitant tone gracing his voice. "Would you like to... sleep with me tonight?"

The last piece of baguette in your hand fails to meet your lips. "Sleep with you?" you ask. You avert your gaze shyly. "Um... you mean..."

"No," Wriothesley cuts. "No. I meant just that. Sleeping together in one bed. Just... cuddling to sleep or something." He sighs and takes your free hand into his. "I won't force you if you're not ready."

You squeeze his hand, your thumb caressing his gloved knuckles. "Well... to be honest, I've been thinking about it too," you admit, a blush creeping up your cheeks. "But I don't think the couch is a good place to do it."

A smug smile blooms on his lips. "Not to worry. I've installed a nice, big bed in my bedroom."

One of your eyebrows quirk up at the mention of a bedroom. "You... have a bedroom?"

"Of course I do. I just never thought of using it until you came along and stole my heart," he says with a smirk.

You smile at his flirting. "Hmm, the bedroom should thank me for bringing back its master."

"Sure, sure," he chuckles.

"All right. Let me finish my baguette first, Sir Duke," you tease. "Then you can show me how nice your bedroom is."

That night, you drift off to the first peaceful sleep you've had in years, huddled up under a warm blanket with your beloved's arms wrapped securely around your body.

© @risustravelogue 2023 • no to reposting, yes to reblogging. feel free to send an ask to suggest, chat, etc. :)

[hyunverse]

when you know, you know ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x gn! reader. fluff. hurt comfort. no warnings.

wc: 800 words.

song: margaret by lana del rey.

in the darkness of the night, he asks for your reassurance. super soft hyune.

“Why do you love me?”

Hyunjin whispers, his voice hushed akin to a nightingale’s, it blends with the darkness of the night. You feel his body shift closer towards you, his warmth blanketing you better than the cotton duvets could. 

He waits, and you swallow as you try to put your words together. Hyunjin hasn’t been feeling the best, constantly letting his mind drift as his eyes stare at the wall. You know that with the right words, he’ll hopefully pull away from the awful headspace. 

“Well,” you mumble, inching closer towards him to the point he could smell the mint in your breath. “I like the way your eyes light up whenever we visit your favourite bakery and you see that your favourite baguette’s fresh from the oven. When you run around with Kkami in your backyard and desperately try to get his kisses.”

You pause, looking up at him to catch sight of his softened expressions. 

“I like it when we visit your parents and your mom lets you taste her food. You tend to dance around and giggle. It’s cute. I also love the way your eyebrows scrunch when you observe your painting. Or when you spill coffee on your shirt and pout at yourself.”

All of the words spill from your mouth in one breath — seamlessly, like you’ve memorized all of them and have been waiting for someone to ask. It leaves Hyunjin speechless.

“So,” his voice trails, “You love me for just me? Not for what I can give, but for me?”

You nod, reaching a hand out to push his bangs off his forehead, then lean in to kiss. 

“Of course, I also like you for what you have to give. It’s like an added bonus. Ultimately, I love you for you and your little things.”

Hyunjin could only weep. A rivulet of tears traces down his cheeks as he sniffles. Through his tears, he tries to speak.

“I thought,” he sobs, “I’ll only be loved if I give something — if I keep giving. I didn’t know I could be loved for just me.”

The confession has your heart aching — like somebody had ripped your heart from your chest and squeezed it dry. Your hands reach to his face and wipe away his tears, but the tears keep coming. So, you wrap your arms around his neck and cradle him, and he nuzzles his face into your shoulder like he wants to hide away from the world. 

“My baby,” you comfort him. His demeanours since the past week suddenly made sense — the extra hours he’d spend in the studio and coming home long after dusk. Seungmin telling you that he’d been staying back even after all the members had left. “Is that why you’ve been working so hard?”

You could feel him nod, and so you reach to his nape and gently massage — an attempt to comfort him. You wish you could do more. You’d take away all his pain and endure it by yourself if you could.

“You don’t have to push yourself too much, my baby,” you whisper, “I’m proud of you even if all you did was breathe.” 

At that, Hyunjin pulls away. He looks into your eyes, his own a pale red. 

“How did you know that you love me?”

You smile. Gently, you squeeze his shoulder. He could feel the affection in the action.

“I just knew.”

"You... just knew?" he repeats your words like a pre-schooler learning ABCs for the first time.

A fragment of your memory comes into mind — of the first time you told him you love him. Hyunjin was biting into a footlong baguette in his favourite cafe, happily dancing in his seat. The smile that plastered across his visage at the time was huge, it reached his ears and formed crescents under his eyes.

People say that it’s not hard to realize that you’re in love with someone. The feeling either hits you hard, or it seeps into your bones gently. Either way, you’d know. 

When you know, you know. 

You knew, then. 

“When you bit into that footlong baguette in the cafe, I just knew. I was in love with you.”

This time, Hyunjin smiles. Like moonlight that brightens darkness, he smiles. Like you just put up stars in the sky for him. 

Hyunjin remembers it too. It’s not easy to forget the memory, of how he stopped in his tracks and stared at you. How his heart fluttered in his chest and realization seeped into his bones, prompting him to tell you that he loves you too.

Another tear cascades down his cheek but this time, it’s from happiness. You giggle, reaching out to wipe the tear and to press a kiss on his nose. 

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin looks at you like it's the first time someone has ever told him that.

“Say that again, please.”

disclaimer — © 2024 hyunverse on tumblr. all rights reserved. authors works are protected under the copyright law. do not plagiarize or translate my works. tumblr is my only platform.

taglist — @zoe8stay @starlostseungmin @bakugossanity @hwajin @sleepyleeji @skizzel-reblogs @jdopes-recorder @sherryblossom @cb97whoree @alyszaen @aaliyahxsx @jeonginsyoungestsibling @hyunluvxo @bokk-minnie @ghostyycat7 @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld @hanjsquokka @pheonixfire777

networks: @k-labels @straykidsland @skzstarnet @kflixnet

[meelusinee]

NEW NUMBER | R.L X READER

word count \ 2.0k | fluffy fluff | slash / remus lupin x reader

in which you get remus' number at the bakery he works at

part one | part two

NEW NUMBER | REMUS LUPIN X READER

Remus had decided he needed a job.

His friends had money. James, Sirius, Regulus, Lily. Even Peter, who wasn’t rich but wasn’t poor. 

Not like him at least.

So he decided to get a job. He didn’t think he could have a job in a Wizarding area, as much as he wanted to. It wouldn’t be safe, to say the least. 

Which led to his journey to a Muggle town. Small, just outside of Hogsmeade, with an older style surrounding the buildings. There was a lot of greenery and other calming elements, wide sidewalks and scooters for transportation.

Plus, he found a job as a baker. 

He only needed training for more advanced things. Remus had muscles big enough to carry the pounds and pounds of flour and other ingredients. And he knew recipes, which he learned when his mother tried to distract him as a kid.

It was nice. 

He had great coworkers, and a good genre of customers. A calming environment too, which helped his pain a lot better than he thought it would. He also lucked out with his boss as well, who was also a Werewolf trying to make a living. Which meant the payment could be given to him in Galleons rather than Muggle currency.

Some days, he came to the bakery even when he wasn’t called in for work. The coffee was amazing, to say the least, and the food was even better.

His job seemed to get even better when you joined the picture.

It was a rather boring day at the bakery. Remus had been assigned the front counter, he had been a real hit with the older ladies who came in most often. He didn’t exactly like it, but they sometimes gave him extra money as a tip.

He never complained about that.

He also didn’t complain about the phone calls, something that he didn’t mind at all. He liked the comfort of the barrier between him and the phone.

“Welcome to Bettie’s Bakery, how can I help?” his voice rang through the bakery. It was mostly empty at the moment, all except for the workers and whoever was on the phone right now.

“Hi!” 

Remus felt his heart pounding at the sound of your voice, mind running wild as it flitted through different lines of romantic poetry that he had read  over the years. Who was he kidding, it was one single word that you said. Just one.

“Hi there,” he said, clearing his throat. “How are you doing today?”

He smiled softly as he heard you giggling over the business phone, leaning both of his elbows on the counter as he listened to you. “I’m good.”

“Good?” he asked. “Not great?”

“I’ll get to great if you keep talking to me.” you giggled to him.

Remus felt a wider smile breaking out on his face as he heard that, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “I’ll be able to keep talking to you if you order something from the bakery.”

“Oh, yes!” you said, giggling. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard in his life, sweeter than the taste of thaumatin. “I wanted to wonder if you had this bread that I really like. My friend made this tomato bisque that tastes like spaghetti, I pair it with this special loaf you guys used to make. I don’t know if you still make it though.”

“What’d it taste like?” Remus asked, assuming that you didn’t know the name based on how you were describing the situation. 

“Uh,” you mumbled. “Kinda like a Cuban loaf. Very peelable, but it had a nice crust still. It had a special name you guys made though.”

“Like a baguette shape?” he asked.

“Mhm!” you smiled. “I always cut it in half.”

“Was it Sasha’s Slice?” he asked, looking at the different breads held in their display case. “It’s a baguette with a decently hard crust, kind of sweet.”

“Yes, that one!” you smiled. “You still have it?”

“Yea, we do.” he chuckled softly, his Welsh accent coming out a bit more than usual when he was talking to you. Maybe it was the natural comfort he felt around you, despite the fact he barely knew you. Or maybe it was something else. Maybe he was just tired, and it had nothing to do with you.

“Am I gonna see you in here?” he asked.

“If you’re there before closing.” you chuckled, the sound of your keys jingling in the background.

“I’ll be here after close.” he said, his voice a bit hoarser before he cleared it. He held the phone between his shoulder and cheek as he started to look around for things to distract himself with, writing random words on a piece of paper to look like he was doing something. “My night.”

“Well, I hope I see you!” you giggled. 

“Me too.” he smiled, sighing as he heard the sound of the phone hanging up in his ears.

“Hello there!” your voice chirpped through the bakery.

Remus looked up as soon as he heard it, like he was a dog and your voice was a dog whistle made just for his ears alone. Maybe your looks were too, a stunning beauty he doubted he could drag his eyes away from.

You were around his age, he could tell that much. Maybe a year younger, but he hoped that didn’t matter much to you. If something were to happen, that was.

“Hi.” he smiled as you walked to the counter. “Sarah’s Slice?”

You gasped dramatically, pointing a finger at him. “It’s you! Phone man!”

“Phone man?” he chuckled at the nickname, both of you bursting out into laughter at it. Indeed, you did meet through the phone, but it was still a rather funny nickname regardless. “I thought it’d be bread man at first.”

“Maybe ‘phone bread man’ then.” you said, watching as Remus bagged your bread.

“Phone bread man it is.” he said. “I’ll head to the bank soon, make sure they change my name. I’ll start with my nametag first though.”

You gasped before giggling, a wide smile on your face as you grabbed the bread. “Oh, why thank you! You make sure to add a ‘Mr’ in front of it.”

He chuckled, smiling at you. “Mr. Phone Bread Man. First, middle, last.”

“That’s the spirit!” you smiled bright.

Remus looked around the store to make sure nobody else was there before leaning forward a bit, his eyes now meeting yours as he spoke. “Do you come here often? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“Not as often as I’d like.” you whispered. “I have school, but it’s working out okay. I’m moving down here soon, a small town just North.”

He smiled softly as he heard you ramble about the lovely town your mother would be taking you too, more so captured by the way your lips moved rather than the words coming out of your mouth. Though, if anyone asked, he was sure he could recite the talk in his sleep. Word for word.

“That’s really interesting.” he whispered.

You smiled, the bag holding your bread crinkling in his hands. “It’d be more interesting with a friend to spend my time with.”

Remus looked at you with a raised eyebrow before the both of you laughed, your eyes watching as he pulled out his phone and opened the app. He had gotten it so his boss could contact him for work schedules, something he charmed to still be usable in Hogwarts. He was sure it was about to pay off in more ways than just that now.

“Thank you,” you said, voice trailing off as you looked at his nametag. “Remus.”

“Remus.” he smiled, much like a lovesick puppy might look at its owner. 

“Y/N.” you smiled gently, holding your bread filled bag up. “And thank you, really Remus.”

Remus smiled, watching as you walked out of the bakery with your phone in hand. He didn’t know what way you were going, not yet, but he was planning on learning soon. At least, he hoped.

Remus was sat in class with Sirius and James to each side of him, foot bouncing up and down as he sat in Potions class. He had already done the assignment the night before, submitting it early so he would have time to relax.

Sirius demanded help with the potion they were working on, but Remus gave up after he began to wing it much like James. Despite the fact that James had been doing Potioneering since he was a kid, Sirius decided they were on the same exact level with potion making. James definitely didn’t help.

Which led to him sitting in silence, watching the fumes of different potions and ingredients finding their way into the air.

That was, at least, until you texted him.

Y/N: hi there!!! youre remus, right?

Remus looked at the message for a bit with a small blush on his face, biting his lip as he texted a quick response. 

REMUS: Yes, Remus. Y/N?

Y/N: i can’t believe you remembered! thats so sweet :c

Remus smiled softly at that, adjusting his posture in his seat to be more comfortable. He tried to minimize himself as much as possible, which wasn’t much given he was well into 6 feet territory. 

REMUS: You are rather unforgettable.

Y/N: and you are apparently a sweetheart

Y/N: btw i made the bread and soup!! It tasted really good, and i wanted to thank you

Remus felt his phone vibrating against his hand as you texted him more about the bread and the soup, eventually offering a photo without waiting for a yes or a no. It looked delicious, he had to admit, a cheesy looking tomato bisque soaking into the bread.

Y/N: i must be rambling so much though, im so sorry! how are you doing??

Remus chuckled to himself, not having minded your ramble one bit. On the contrary, he thought it was a rather endearing tidbit about you.

REMUS: Don’t feel sorry, I enjoyed it.

REMUS: I’m okay though. Having to suffer through classes.

Y/N: you have classes???

Y/N: i didn’t mean to interrupt them or anything, im so sorry!

Y/N: ill let you get right back to it right now

Remus chuckled softly, his fingers typing a quick response. He was rather glad that he was in the back of the classroom, Professor Slughorn not able to see far back enough to notice his phone. 

REMUS: Don’t be sorry, I’m not busy. I already completed the assignment so my friends could cheat off of it.

REMUS: Besides, I like talking to you. You’re a fun distraction. 

Remus felt his shoulder being nudged as soon as her saw your spamming of heart emojis and apologies, looking up to see James and Sirius staring at him with a rather teasing look.

“What?” he asked them.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows, nudging Remus again. “Who’re you texting?

“If you don’t back off, I’m taking my homework back.” Remus said threateningly, his eyes narrowing in a way that showed he meant every single word.

“Understood Sir!” James said, going back to his potion. As much as he loved potions, he hated following the rules with them. Which meant that he loved Remus’ notes and homeworks, his ability to understand the words and make them sound even better getting him higher marks.

Sirius just hated Potions regardless, mainly out of spite. It was Snape’s favorite subject, and he tried hard not to have anything in common with the greasy-haired boy.

Suffice to say, a lack of homework was a good threat.

Remus went back to texting you almost as soon as the two looked away. Maybe even before, he wasn’t quite sure. You were like a black hole that he was falling into, with rings of gravity around you sucking him through different perceptions of time and space before crushing him completely. 

You had him utterly hooked. Something that, surprisingly, he didn’t mind the idea of.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

thank you so much everyone for reading! i haven't been writing as much, but i'm hoping that, with valentine's day and the spirit of love fast approaching, i'm able to get more stuff done. i might make a small series of just text messages between some characters, though i haven't decided who yet, so feel free to comment if you want any specific character!

AS ALWAYS - please like, comment, reblog, and have a wistful day!

[thegreyjoyed]

Hidden bird in a pub

John Price x Reader

Cw: Reader is called “Bonnie” and “Bonnie lass” /hinted at being a woman — NOT PROOFREAD or edited

Idk the word count because I wrote this in one sitting in the notes app

Reblogs and comments appreciated!

You and John had been married for several years now, having dealt with him and his bullshit (as you lovingly put it) for “far too long”.

You two had met when John had been freshly promoted to a lieutenant in the army. Actually, you had met the day he had become a lieutenant while he was out celebrating it at a local pub you worked for as a bartender and a busser on slower days.

You still remember his order, a pint of the most expensive beer you had at the time and the soup of the day- a loaded baked potato soup served with a quarter of a baguette and some bacon and chives.

It had been your recipe for the soup as the pub was family run and a well beloved place in the community. You were connected to some local breweries and bakeries who you would get freshly made bread from for your cheeseburger buns, bread bowls and sugary sweets.

You remember being rather enamored by this man- John, you learn later on in your shift. You thought he was handsome, and he had been hitting on you much of your shift either way. At the end of it, he had earned himself a date with you and from then on, it was history.

Now you and John had been married a decade and you had been there for all of his achievements and all of the military balls. However, once he became a captain and had his own team(with the exception of Simon) he had you carefully hidden away so he could truly separate his work and personal lives.

You and John had built a strong life together, if you so wished- you didn’t even have to work and could just be at home. You stayed at your job, eventually becoming a general manager and helping out wherever. You knew all of the regulars who had been there for many years now and some “newer” faces of regular’s wives and even children with how long you worked at the pub.

The bell rung around five in the evening. You looked up and chirped out a greeting, surprised at seeing your own husband followed by Simon with a black surgical face mask and two others you heard of. Johnny and Kyle, you would guess by the haircut on Johnny(?) and the darker skin on Kyle(?).

You picked up four menus and two drink menus and made your way over once the men seemingly got settled. It was slowly becoming busier, it was a Thursday night afterall.

“John! My favorite regular, Simon, how good to see the two of you. And some newcomers!” You said with a bright smile, handing over the menus to the men. Simon looked at you, his eyes narrowing at you. John smiled and nodded, “Aye. These are my sergeants, Johnny and Kyle.” He introduced, pointing to each of the two younger men.

“Hey there.” Kyle greeted nicely, a simple smile on his face before he returned his gaze to the menu to look over all of the food options. Johnny gave you a toothy grin, “Hey Bonnie.” He grinned in return, “Anything you recommend?” He questioned

You hummed, tapping your signature pen- an army green pen engraved with your husband’s initials in gold- on your chin as you thought. Something you had stolen from him a while ago- a pen he had actually been looking for. John narrowed his eyes a little at the sight of the pen, knowing damn well it was his.

You moved to the side a little and pointed at the menu. “Our soup of the day today is fantastic, it’s a loaded baked potato soup, can be served in a bread bowl or a normal bowl and comes with a quarter of a fresh baguette from a local bakery. It’s one of my favorites.” You say and pull back from the side.

“John, would you like your usual with the soup of the day today then? Simon, usual?” You question to the two men, pulling a little notebook out to write the order.

The two men nod and grunt out their yes’s. You write the order down, “Just let me know when you two are ready to order, I’ll put it all in at once.” You say with a smile as you pull away from the table.

Johnny and Kyle look at each other and then to the two older men. “How long have you two been coming here for that Bonnie lass to recognize you?” Johnny questioned as he leaned in a little. John gave the younger man a look, “Over a decade now.” He answered and Simon shrugged a little. “Seven years.” He grunted out as he pulled his surgical face mask off.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, “Over a decade, Cap? Is it that good of a pub?” He questioned. John hummed gruffly, “You’ll see.” He answered simply. “Kyle, did you see her pen?” Johnny questioned, nudging the man beside him.

“Yeah? What about it.” Kyle questioned as he flipped through the two menus presented. “Look at the damn menu, idiot.” Kyle muttered to Johnny, nudging him back. Johnny clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes as he looked at the menus as he was directed to.

John leaned back in his seat, taking the time to admire you as you helped around, budding food and taking orders and stepping behind the bar occasionally. A few minutes later you came back, pen and notebook in hand. “Everyone decide on what they want?” You question as you approach. “Birdie, you’ve got my order and Simon’s.” John murmured, earning a sweet smile from you before you turned to Johnny and Kyle.

The two men got their orders out before you smiled and dipped away. Kyle gave John a look, “Birdie?” He questioned, his gaze dipping to John’s left hand where his silicone wedding band was, the real ring sitting around a chain on his neck with a pair of his dog tags.

“Yeah? What about it?” John questioned in turn as their drinks were delivered by someone else, you were busy somewhere else and out of sight. Kyle hummed, gazing at the wedding band quietly before looking back to his captain and where you were, now in sight of the men.

John huffed a little, shaking his head, “You’re smart. You can figure it out.” He muttered into his drink, a tall pint. Johnny looked at Simon, who just gave him a look. A look like he thought Johnny was stupid.

“That’s your wife? How come we never met her before?” Johnny burst out, getting a glare from Simon. “Because I don’t want my bird in danger.” John grumbled as you came back over with a tray full of food. You began to set the food down carefully, giving each man their orders.

“Bird. When did you take this from my office?” John questioned, snatching the army green pen you had in-fact stolen from him. “Few months ago.” You answer with a sweet smile. “I’ll give you it back when we’re home.” You muse in return.

John rolled his eyes and gently squeezed your hip, you had to leave after a few minutes of conversing with the table to help the rush. Eventually the rush died down and your shift soon over. Your husband had left a bit ago after squeezing your hip and giving you a quick kiss after paying the bill for the lot of them.

Eventually you headed home, your husband had beaten you there. You shut off your car and head inside with the army green pen tucked into your pocket as you pull your keys out and unlock the door. You step out of your shoes and venture into your cozy home.

John came from upstairs, looking freshly showered in his boxers and a bit sleepy. “Hello there, my loving husband.” You muse as you approached and gently grabbed his waist, pressing a kiss to his lips.

John lazily smiled and kissed you in return, “birdie..” he rumbled lazily as he pressed kisses all over your face and your shoulders. “Y’smell like beer and grease.” John muttered, making you laugh. “Yeah okay, big bear. I need a shower.” You giggle and gently shove your husband away to go upstairs to shower in the lovely master bathroom the two of you had designed together.

You got your shower, your husband had been scrolling on your phone while sat on one of the plush shower mats there were. “Are you fucking up my algorithms, big bear?” You tease with a laugh as you dry off and dry your hair off. You got your pajamas on, one of his shirts and some of your underwear.

John grumbled and shrugged a little as he followed you like a lost puppy. “I like messing around on your phone.” He answered as he crawled into bed after putting your phone to charge.

You laugh a little as you got in beside him and earned yourself another kiss as he nuzzled into you. “You’re so lucky I love you far too much.” You mused softly as you two kissed gently on the lips, the taste of spearmint in both of your guys’s mouths.

John groaned into the kiss as he slowly rolled you over onto your back, flattening you as he always did. He nuzzled into your neck and kissed your throat. The two of you settled and eventually fell asleep, just like that.

[jimblejamblewritings]

starlight moonlight sunlight — blurb eight

Title: Friendship Breakups and Shitty New Beginnings

Pairing: ex!Remus x reader, Remus x Sirius, eventual poly!Wolfstar x reader

Warnings: catching a partner cheating, angst, hurt no comfort, friendship breakup

blurb series navigation here | previous blurb here

Sirius practically dragged Remus to the kitchen, closing all the doors leading into the room and casting several spells. 

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to do that. It was just because I kissed you and I was just going through the motions and ended up k— Merlin, Rem, I’m sorry. Seriously, I’m s—” 

“Hey.” Remus grabbed his shoulders. “I’m not mad at you.” 

“You’re not?” 

“This night has been a lot for all of us. You were just trying to get through it by coasting. It’s okay.” 

“Thank you,” Sirius sighed. 

Remus shook his head and squeezed Sirius tightly. They both began to fix food in silence. Sirius set a kettle on the stove for hot water. He was going to make you a hot chocolate and Remus a tea. The grating of the knife in Remus’ hand going through a large baguette started to grate on him. He ran a hand through his hair again. 

“Moons, can I talk to you?” 

Remus nodded. “What’s up? I, uh, think I need to talk to you as well.” 

“On three?” 

“1…2…” 

“I think I still like Y/N.” “I think I like women.” 

Both men blinked at each other. 

“Huh?” “What?” 

Remus took the kettle off just as it started whistling. “You go first. You like women. Did you find out because of kissing Y/N?” 

Sirius groaned. “Can I just say yes and we ignore this.” 

“So you’ve been thinking about this before the kiss?” 

“You saw her at the ball yesterday and she’s always dressed nicely when we’re at band practice. I don’t know. She’s actually pretty cute and not in the I recognize women’s attractiveness because they usually put in so much effort to look nice sort of way. Like in the I could suck his face off kind of way but he’s a her. And her is Y/N.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay? That’s it? We’re good?”

Remus stuck a mug in Sirius’ hand. “I think you need the chamomile more than me. Sweetheart, in what world would I judge you for liking men and women when I like men and women?” 

“Yeah, but I’ve always liked only men. I came out as gay in third year and didn’t exactly look back once.” 

“So, you’re a late bloomer in your self-discovery,” he said with a shrug. “I just told you I still like my ex. I think that might be a bigger problem.” 

“Let’s just get this over with, we can’t stay in the kitchen forever.” 

They came back with a tray of food, only to be greeted to an empty room.

“Where did she go?” 

Both boys screamed when a hand stretched out from the pile of flowers on the bed. Your entire body materialized moments later. 

“Could you always do that?!” 

You grimaced, covering your ears and tucking your chin into your chest. “Too loud.” 

“Sorry,” they whispered. 

You stood up before they could set the tray down fully. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” 

“Y/N.” 

“I feel humiliated, Remus.” Your voice was eerily calm. “Did you think I was never going to find out?” 

“I wasn’t trying to hu—” 

“Please call everyone into the living room for me.” You walked downstairs and simply waited. 

Everyone was confused about why they needed to have a meeting at 1 am until they saw you standing in the middle of the room while Remus and Sirius were sitting down on the couch with their tails tucked between their legs. Tentatively, they sat down. You sprung on them the moment Mary’s butt hit the final seat. The other flinched at the sudden cloud of flower petals Sirius and Remus had already gotten used to. 

“Did you all know? Was I the only one too stupid to see Remus and him were a couple, still a couple when he was pretending?” 

Lily shook her head. “You’re not stupid we were the on—” 

“Please just answer the question.” 

“Yes. We made the plan with them on the train when you were in the observation car and the bathroom.” 

Sirius held his breath, flinching prematurely at the look on your face. For once, he’d deserve the yelling. He’ll take it with a brave face. 

“Y’all aren’t shit.” 

“I know. I’m sorry and I know everyone else would be as well.” 

“Honestly.” You wiped away hot tears. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I don’t know if we can be friends. I hate you so much right now.” 

“Y/N.”

“Even you, Dora?” 

Her silence was deafening. You summoned the bakery keys and gave them to her. She pleaded with you not to do it to just stay or continue bakery work but you shook your head. 

“I was accepted for a job at a bookstore in Diagon Alley. I’m going to take it. Do whatever you want with the place, you have all the recipes if you want to keep it running. I thought y’all were my friends.” 

With that you stormed out of James’s house, short and stubby cacti trailing behind you to prevent the other from following, and apparated to Hogsmeade. It was a short but very angry trudge up to the castle, plants still springing up all around you. All you wanted was your family and friends from Ilvermorny but without them or a way to contact them, you were more upset.

Unfortunately Hogwarts, and the students and faculty still there, got a first class experience at what that emotion looked like. Snapdragon bushes kept attacking the place and cacti kept needing to be blasted back. You ate breakfast the next morning with a scowl over your holiday pancakes that the elves made into specific shapes. Why did they make them all flower shaped? You were expecting Christmas trees or something. 

You looked up when a shadow blocked you. Snape was scowling. 

“Do everyone a favor and control whatever freak nymph thing you have going on. We’re sick of sitting on pinecones because of whatever problems you have.” 

Looking around, you realized the disaster that was the Great Hall. All you could do was stare wide eyed at the scene. Faculty looked at you apologetically. Students looked at you angrily or with mistrusting glances. You weren’t sure which was worse. You didn’t stick around to find out either.

| next blurb here |

THIS TAGLIST:

@fionaapplelover2010 @hcqwxrtss123 @reggieswriter

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie

[sp4ceboo]

rating bff!ateez as pumpkin carvings

pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

genre: platonic bffs, twitter smau, crack, fluff if you squint

c/w: swearing, explicit language, suggestive jokes, violence

a/n: very nearly gave up on this thread a couple times but yay happy halloween 🎃

taglist: @bluehwale-main @thecarnivaloflies @miriamxsworld @shakalakaboomboo @lavishloving @emily505 (lmk if you want to be added)

[jolys-cane]

TOUR THOUGHTS

Saw the Les Miserables Tour at the Princess of Wales Theatre in Toronto on May 21 2024; here are my thoughts (Long read, sorry I have a lot of feelings)

Prologue/Look Down/Valjean's Soliloquy

We got like, holographic waves crashing and the men are rowing a boat LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE it's awesome

Oh my god the pipes on the background actors were so good. THE SUN IS STRONG ITS HOT AS HEEELLL BELOW

I miss Javert's stupid guard hat. Was bareheaded as he gave Valjean his yellow ticket

PETIT GERVAIS?????????? Valjean steals a little boy's coin when he's roaming the countryside 😭

Randy Jeter as the Bishop blew me away. Not just his voice but his acting was FANTASTIC every single movement was like. I am an old bishop. This is how an old bishop moves. Idk idk it was really good

Nick Cartell did a great job w Valjean overall, but I totally loved him as pre-MsurM Valjean the most. He acts like a feral animal, grabbing the wine out of the nun's hands and the bread from the priest all hunched over and practically snarling - very very cool and awesome

At the End of the Day

Not a negative but when we went to At the End of the Day there was very minimal lighting and my first thought was Oh no the lighting broke hope they fix it and we don't have to have a brief intermission but then when they went 'At the end of the day there's another day dawning' the lights went up and I was like OHHHHHHHHHHHH so that's just me not understanding lighting direction

Foreman killed it, so did all of the factory workers I love all the interactions and ad-libbing in the background it makes me so happy to see

Every time I saw a tall graceful ensemble member I was like '"That's Kyle Adams" and 8/10 times I was right. Otherwise it was Daniel Gerard Bittner

I Dreamed A Dream

OKKKK VOCALS???? Haley Dortch has such a beautiful, clear, emotional sound and she left not a dry eye in the house. Literally the second intermission hit my parents and myself were like. Holy shit dude what about that Fantine

I got her autograph after the show and she was so so sweet 🥺 She accidentally messed up her signature and had to redo it and was apologising to me and I was like GIRL you brought the house down you could stab me right now and I'd be like 'Thanks have a good one'

Lovely Ladies / Fantine's Arrest

Bamatabois (David Andino) was a standout performance, really chewed the scenery and I adored every second he was on stage (Plus his costume was fantastic)

The other girls defending Fantine 🥺

I like that after the police show up and they basically arrest all of the ladies and pimps, regular well-off citizens come out to witness Valjean defending Fantine from Javert. Thought it was a nice touch

Fantine's Death

My first and only cry of the evening, Haley Dortch no one does it like you

The Confrontation

If you've heard me talk about the confrontation you'll know that I absolutely hate the new chain choreography, HOWEVER. I really really liked it this time. Preston in particular gave it a lot of physicality that I enjoyed

Nick Cartell is a little guy and I don't really believe that his Valjean managed to knock out Preston's Javert

For some reason the percussion was really loud and I could barely hear the vocals so I don't have many thoughts on them

Master of the House / Waltz of Treachery

MATT CROWLE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

Both Thenardiers were fantastic, not a crazy amount of ad-libbing but when they did they made it count ("BYE, BAGUETTE")

Madame in particular was hilarious

Master of the House is very busy in a good way, everywhere you look interesting things are happening. Another number where the ensemble shines and you can tell everyone is having a blast

The Bargain was funny as hell, Thenardier tells Cosette to die in his arms and she goes limp when he's saying she's 'often been ill'

Valjean gives Cosette Catherine!

Look Down / The Robbery

Gavroche was super charismatic and confident, really great child actor (Milo Maharlika)

Eponine tosses Marius' book across the stage and he goes "I like the way you always ... tease 😐" They're such cute friends together

After Enjolras and the boys are done their preaching Enjolras gets stopped by a policeman and is told off 😭

During the robbery Montparnasse keeps Marius away by brandishing his little knife at him which I thought was cute

Also! Montparnasse is the only member of Thenardier's gang to escape during the Robbery!!! Which is a nice Brick reference

After Thenardier's 'In the absense of a victim' spiel he does this exact pose

Gavroche's little 'Clear the streets' 🫡moment is so cute

Stars

God I love Preston Truman Boyd

His Javert is so stalwart and reserved and dedicated, he's kind of robocop and it really really works, and you get to see just a smidge of vulnerability peek out in this song

ABC Cafe / Red and Black

I DON'T REMEMBER A LOT bare with me

Grantaire was absolutely the standout. Slapped Marius' butt with his coat. Stuck his wine bottle dick in Enjolras' face. Offered Combeferre a sip of his wine (who reluctantly accepted). Blew a kiss at Enjolras

Kyle Adams physicality is probably my favourite aspect of his Grantaire - he moves very assuredly, like a cat, in a way that is like okay he's drunk but he's so used to being drunk that his stumbling is more like dancing. I remember reading a fic that described Grantaire's movements in a similar way and I wonder if that was one of the fics Kyle took inspiration from?

OOH they did the wine bottle keep-away thing with Grantaire and Marius which I didn't know they still did so that was exciting

J.T Wood is such a cute Joly I love his voice

In Do You Hear the People Sing Grantaire grabs a gun and holds it at arms-length like it has cooties before handing it off to another student

Combeferre waves the flag both times (Here and in One Day More) and I'm not sure if it's always Combeferre who does that or if it's because Andrew Marks Maughan is clearly the most physically strong of the Barricade Boys

In My Life / A Heart Full of Love

Delaney Guyer is a really good Cosette in that she has a gorgeous voice and also has a lot of personality and actually reacts to things going on around her

Marius (who was played by Christopher James Tamayo for this performance) is such a cute little nerd. You can see him try to figure out what he's going to do, then he throws a rock at Cosette's window and kind of cringes at the noise - he's so unsure of himself and awkward

Cosette is very excited that he's here and closes the window right away, which prompts Marius' 'I'm doing everything all wrong!' until she reappears downstairs and they get to be cute dorks in love

Attack on Rue Plumet

I don't remember a lot but I DO remember that Eponine was really good here

When Valjean is like 'Tomorrow we'll away' Cosette goes 'WHAT? NO!'

David Andino is so good as Babet he is a chronic scene stealer at this point

One Day More

If you know Another thing about me you know I hate the One Day More box-step but it actually did not bug me this time. They put Grantaire next to Enjolras for the marching portion which is cute

On My Own

Holy shit Mya Rena Hunter delivered the most heartbreaking and powerful rendition of this I've ever heard

The Barricade

Loved Feuilly in his little part

Javert is a good spy. If I didn't know the plot of Les Mis I would've been like Holy shit that's Javert? Crazy. I love him drawing the 'plans' he'd overheard into the ground with a stick

Gavroche flipping Javert off >>>>>

Buff Combeferre is one of the two to drag Javert away to be tied up lol

A Little Fall of Rain

The only version of ALFoR that actually made me feel something

Marius and Eponine get a lot of time to be cute together before the barricade actually notices that she's dying - and Gavroche is the first to notice and gets a front row seat to her death which is heartbreaking

The First Attack

Grantaire's "AND SO THE WAR WAS WON!" was sooo scathingly sarcastic

Javert waited, like, 30 seconds to leave after Valjean freed him, with his back almost against the barrel of Valjean's gun as if he were hoping to be shot

When the gun went off the entire barricade abruptly snapped their heads to look at Valjean and the audience laughed 😭

Telling Valjean 'Well done' for shooting a tied up hostage is a strange choice

Drink With Me

I still hate 'For certain as the eagle flies' I think it's the dumbest line in the entire musical

Grantaire's part was very grand - His voice has like noticeably changed at this point in the musical to give it a sort of hoarse hopeless quality to it which absolutely hits you in the feels

Enjolras comforted him and I swear Grantaire let his hand linger on his cheek for a few seconds longer than normal before pushing him away

Gavroche hugged Grantaire from behind and Grantaire couldn't even turn around at first because he was so distraught and kind of blindly reached for him 😭

Chris Tamayo's Marius is such a poor little meow meow

Bring Him Home

Absolutely jaw-dropping performance from Nick Cartell

He sings Bring Him Home like it's a lullaby - which it's supposed to be

I don't exaggerate when I say that the applause went on for about a minute straight, and was the loudest of the night by far

Death of Gavroche / The Final Battle

Oh poor thang

Grantaire near the end of Gavroche's singing was turned away facing the audience like he knew Gav was going to die and couldn't bear to watch 🥺

Later on in the final battle Grantaire spends most of the time next to Gavroche's body in like a catatonic state

The SPOTLIGHTS representing BULLETS as Les Amis died almost made me lose it

Grantaire dies last, I'm sure he said something before he started climbing the barricade but I couldn't hear it 😭He and Enjolras still have their moment over Marius' body

The Sewer

Javert comes across Enjolras' cart-carried body (Still hate the cart but I can learn to appreciate it) and looks a bit uncomfortable

Then he stumbles upon Gavroche's corpse, kneels, and does the sign of the cross over him

Almost made me cry ngl

DOG EATS DOG WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT

Javert looked like he wanted to shoot Valjean as he walked away with Marius

Javert's Suicide

HOOOOOOLYYYY SHIIIIITTTTT

It was so good

Preston Truman Boyd you will always be famous I fully believe that Javert had completely lost his mind at this point in the play

I don't have many thoughts on the rest but I loved Marius and Cosette reading Valjean's confession as he walked away with Fantine - and the Bishop hugging him as he arrives in heaven

Also Kyle Adams as Major Domo mincing about the stage in The Wedding was an absolute delight

Am very sleepy now but overall 10/10 I love this cast so much

[adaobiiii]

────────── adrien x chaotic!reader ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Prompt : Head cannons of Adrien and his pretty chaotic partner

Pairing : Adrien Agreste x Reader, Adrien x Reader

Warnings : None, Fluff

A/N : Since the last x adrien headcannon got real popular i decided to write another. Reader is mainly referred to as “you”. Can be read from any perspective. The reader has the monkey miraculous in this.

Home ||  Main Masterlist || MLB Masterlist

Relationship Information

Adrien was not prepared to meet you. 

The first time you guys met was actually battling an akuma. 

Chat noir was clearing the area and guiding citizens to safety when he saw you in front of the akuma. Before he could reach out to save you, you had thrown a pie at an akuma instead of running away

He knew immediately that you were a problem.

At first, he thought he was just amused by you

"You’re ridiculous."

"And you love it." (He did. But he wasn’t ready to admit it.)

Plagg noticed before Adrien did. "Kid, you look at them like they hung the moon."

"I DO NOT—" Plagg just rolls his eyes. He knew Adrien was doomed.

At some point, Ladybug decided to give the monkey miraculous (out of desperation) to you.

Technically she gave it to chat noir to give to you cause she felt like he’d find someone who matched its vibe yk. 

Now he miscalculated as chat noir and ended up de-transforming in front of you…. 

Now that you know each other's superhero and civilian identity, you flirt with him even more, but Adrien assumes you were just messing with him.

"Wow, minou, I should’ve gotten a Miraculous that lets me steal hearts instead."

"Haha… yeah…" (Adrien.exe has stopped working)

It hit him all at once during a fight. You got seriously hurt for the first time, and he panicked.

"That wasn’t funny, don’t ever do that again."

“You’re worried about me, minou?" (You were smirking, but your voice was softer than usual.)

"Of course I am, I—"

Oh. Oh no.

He immediately tried to pretend he wasn’t in love with you. Spoiler: he failed miserably.

"Dude, just confess." Nino attempts to convince him

"What if they laugh at me?"

"BRO. THEY’VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU FOR MONTHS." Alya literally screams at him cause how can one be that blind???

Adrien finally worked up the nerve to tell you… except he blurted it out at the worst possible moment.

You were mid-prank, trying to see how many macarons you could balance on his head.

"I think I’m in love with you." All the macarons fell.

You just stared at him.

"You think?"

"I mean—No—I know—Wait, I wanted to say this differently—"

You grinned and tackled him into a hug. "Took you long enough."

"…Wait, you KNEW?!"

"Of course I knew! Adrien, I’ve been waiting for you to realize!"

You kissed his cheek and whispered, "You’re cute when you’re flustered."

Adrien.exe crashed again.

Daily Life and Couple Things

Adrien is used to following strict rules, so your unpredictable nature baffles and delights him. He never knows what you'll do next, and honestly? He loves it.

"Why are you stealing my food?"

"Because if I asked, you’d say yes, and that takes the fun out of it."

You introduce him to the concept of "doing things just because," and he finds himself in questionable activities.

You once replaced Adrien’s schedule with completely fake classes.

"Why do I have 'Advanced Duck Whispering' at 10 AM?"

"Oh, you better hurry. Ms. Quackens doesn’t like tardiness."

Whenever Lila lies, you nod aggressively and add an even more ridiculous detail to the story, just to see if she rolls with it. 

Adrien has to turn away to keep from laughing.

You steal his expensive pens just to make him chase you. (He lets you win half the time because he likes seeing you happy.)

Adrien never swears, so you teach him "acceptable alternatives." Now, when he stubs his toe, he says, "Oh, sugar biscuits!"

Adrien, being the sweet boy he is, is initially horrified when you encourage minor chaos. "We can’t just take an entire baguette and run!" But then you flash him a grin, and suddenly… maybe you can.

(Don’t worry he left cash on the shop workers counter before you could see)

You teach him how to sneak out without getting caught (he gets caught anyway because he’s too polite to ignore Nathalie’s calls)

Sometimes, Adrien stares at you with so much fondness because you make his life exciting in a way he never expected.

You randomly poke his cheek when he's deep in thought, just to remind him you're there.

"Adrien, I have a totally normal and reasonable idea."

"Last time you said that, we almost got arrested.”

"Yeah, but we didn’t."

Jester & Chat Noir

Your entire fighting style is just annoying the villain until they quit.

Ladybug : “What’s your plan Jester?”

You : "Oh, I’m just gonna confuse them until they give up."

The funny thing is that it works. You dodge every attack in the stupidest ways possible while cracking jokes, and by the end, the akuma is exhausted.

You make constant puns just to see how long it takes for Chat Noir to regret his life choices.

“That was a very MONKEY business decision.”

“Stop.”

“Come on, mon minou, don’t go bananas.”

“PLEASE.”

Ladybug feels like the puns you make are even worse than chat’s (which says ALOT)

Your Lucky Charm equivalent? Some random object that you have to make work in the dumbest way possible

And you always do

Chat Noir : “How will a balloon animal help?!”

You : “Have faith, dear feline.

Ladybug sometimes regrets making you an official hero (she loves you but sometimes it feels like she’s babysitting two kids). However, you seem to make chat noir happy so she doesn’t say anything.

Chat Noir : "We have to be subtle!”

You : "Got it." Immediately does something incredibly unsubtle.

Adrien knows he should be stopping you from causing chaos, but half the time, he’s laughing too hard to stop you.

You like to bet on who can make the most dramatic entrance. He’s Chat Noir, so he should win, but then you show up swinging from a chandelier, and he has to admit defeat.

You tell him you have "a foolproof plan" to defeat an akuma. It usually works… in the most absurd way possible. (Like getting the akuma to monologue while you steal their weapon.)

Plagg & You: A Dangerous Duo

Plagg adores you. Like, this ball of chaos sees you as his favorite human.

Adrien knew you two would be trouble the second he caught you teaching Plagg how to juggle tiny cheese wheels.

“Why does my room smell like burned camembert?”

“…No reason.” (You and Plagg are exchanging guilty looks.)

Plagg is your biggest enabler. If you come up with a bad idea, Plagg is the first to say, “DO IT.”

Whenever Adrien tries to be responsible, Plagg just floats over to you and whispers, “Distract him.” And you DO.

Adrien : “I have a photoshoot tomorrow, I really can’t—”

You : grabs a pillow and smacks him in the face “Oops.”

Adrien : “…you did that on purpose.”

Plagg : “I think you should hit them back. For justice.”

Adrien refuses to let you and Plagg be alone together anymore. The last time he left you both unsupervised he came back to his entire closet upside down.

Around Others

Nino & Alya

"So let me get this straight. Adrien’s dating a human tornado." 

"Yep."

Nino thinks you’re hilarious and enables you (almost as much as plagg).

"You should be stopping them."  Alya points out

"But it’s FUNNY.”

Alya, however, is constantly trying to get footage of your shenanigans.  

"Girl, you are PRIME Ladyblog content."

"Alya, no–"  

Nino once watched you convince Adrien to climb onto a moving carousel and decided that was enough for the day.

“Dude, she’s gonna get you arrested."  

"It’s called ‘living a little,’ Nino."  Adrien recites one of your many catchphrases

Marinette

"I just- Adrien, how do you handle this??"  

"With love and patience."

Meanwhile, you’re in the background doing flips off a park bench.

100% baffled by how you two work.  

She thought Adrien needed a sweet, gentle love interest. Instead, he’s dating a human cyclone  

Lowkey respects that you can get him away from his suffocating home life, though.  

Chloé

"Ugh, of COURSE, you’d date someone like them." 

Tries to hate you but is secretly jealous of how free you are.  

Once, you borrowed… her expensive sunglasses and put them on Ladybug plush she owned.  

"CHLÖÉ LOOK, THE STATUE IS FASHIONABLE NOW!"  

She actually screamed.

Cute Moments

You and Adrien are that couple that makes no sense but also makes perfect sense.

He’s the golden retriever to your orange cat and somehow, it works.

He adores how free-spirited you are. You make him feel like life isn’t just about rules and expectations.

You once convinced him to ditch a photoshoot for a whole day of fun. He swore he’d regret it. 

He did NOT regret it.

It was the happiest you’d ever seen him.

You love ruffling his hair just to see him pout.

"Stop that!"

"Never."

He definitely holds your hand to keep you from running off to do something stupid.

"You’re not wandering off this time."

"I would never—"

Adrien just raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

Whenever Adrien gets overwhelmed with expectations, you grab his hand and pull him away.

"C’mon, minou. Let’s get lost for a bit."

He always feels lighter with you.

You poke his cheek when he’s sad. If that doesn’t work, you tickle him. If that doesn’t work, you grab his hand and start spinning him around in circles.

"Let me down—"

"Not until you smile again”

He doesn’t know why, but it always makes his heart race.

Adrien loves spontaneous cuddles. You’ll randomly throw yourself onto him, and he’ll just melt.

"You’re warm." 

"Are you using me as a personal heater again?"

"…No?"

People either love or fear you two together and yet somehow, you bring out the best in each other.

"Adrien, do you trust me?"

"…No. But I like you, so let’s go."

[velaenaa]

strawberry chocolate parfait \ nanami kento x reader (ch.1)

word count: 1.1k tags: slight slow burn, pining, romance, fluff, added as i go! setting: you are a worker at a bakery that nanami kento frequents ♡ authors note: hello ^_^ i hope you are doing wonderful! this is my first time writing for nanami. pls enjoy! chapter: 1/? <next>

Chapter 1 - Vanilla Cake

‘Does this guy need help….?’

‘He’s staring real hard at the bread…. Omg- is it ugly? Aw hell- I made that this morning…’ 

Your thoughts were cut off by the towering figure of a man, with two loaves of baguette in one hand and one container of cake, that happened to be your favorites, in the other. You smile up at him, “Will this be everything?” He gives a stiff nod, locking his eyes with yours, then you giggled; “Then.. I guess I'll bag-uette up for you..” 

No? No reaction..Damn, tough crowd.. 

He thanks you and you bid him farewell and to come back soon. You could’ve sworn he almost smiled… maybe that was a look of irritation..?

After he leaves eyesight, You make haste by sitting down behind the counter, face flushed with embarrassment and agony. It made you cringe. Why would you say that? Your coworker giggled at you, making sure to add salt to the wound, “You tried.. That’s all it matters.” she gives you a head pat and continues,  “He’s a regular here. He’s probably gonna come back in another couple of hours on his way home or something.”

“Then how come I’ve not seen him before?”

“Dunno.. He’s been away for a couple months now.” 

“What’s his name?”

“You should ask when he comes back.”

“Isn’t that weird?”

“Oh but asking some other random person, who doesn’t know him at all, by the way, isn’t weird?”

She has a point.

You looked down at your phone and idly texted your friend Nobara about your day and fashion related topics. 

You met when Nobara came down to the bakery to get some pastries for her boyfriend. You hit it off right away due to shared interests, albeit you being 7 years older. Nobara enjoyed having an older sister with an affinity for style, love for shopping, and interest in all the cool girl stuff that Maki wouldn’t normally talk to her about. 

Right now you two are discussing weekend plans. Nobara and her boyfriend Yuji, along with Megumi, and their teacher Gojo were going to a karaoke room cause it had been a while since Gojo had gone out with his students. He was stuck on oversea assignments for the past couple of weeks and he dearly misses them, or so he says. As always, you had been invited and of course you said yes! 

You are very fond of the kids and Gojo. The 3 of them reminded you of your siblings back home, and well- Gojo is Gojo. Plus, if you had declined, Gojo would pester you non-stop. 

-

After a mini rush, you sit  down, tired, ready to bite down into your sandwich, when on queue, the door swings open, revealing the tall blonde man, taking his glasses off as his eyes pierce you again. You wave at him and he just nods. You get a bag ready as the man collects another slice of the same cake he had bought earlier. He also got another dessert, this time, a small vanilla custard tart w/ fruits on top, made by yours truly. He comes up to the counter, and you stiffen up  in shyness, “Is this everything for you?”

The man looked tired, but he let out a soft, yet stern ‘yes.’

As you rang up his order you looked back up to him, your lips curling into a small grin, “How was work?” This caught them both off guard, “Oh- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to assume-” I mean.. Unless this guy enjoys walking around in a whole business suit for funsies.

He actually lets out a chuckle, “It’s okay. It was a busy day.” 

You both stayed silent for a second before he asked in return, “How was your day, miss?” This made you feel warm and your smile only got bigger, “It was wonderful! I got to serve a lot of customers. They bought their kids in. It was so fun.”

‘And cause you came into the shop twice.’

“Ah sorry.. I’m trailing. I didn’t mean to ramble- you must be dying to get home.”

‘No, I could get used to listening to you.’  is what he wanted to say;

Instead he lets out a relieved sigh, “It’s alright. I’m glad you had a good day today.” This caused your cheeks to tint red. Dying from embarrassment because you just knew that your coworkers were listening in, she redirects the topic, and points at the cake, “Do you like those?” He nods again, “They’re the best I’ve ever had. Compliment the baker for me.” Oh your heart, you could hear it beating so hard from your chest. 

You do a mental fist pump before clapping your hands with glee, “Oh I’m so glad you liked them!” You go around the counter and grab another slice just for him. You stared up at him in absolute awe, because behind the counter was elevated by at least a foot. 

This man was tall, as hell. 

He just looks down at you eyeing your move. You push the cake towards him even harder, “This one is on the house!” He tilts his head in question. You double down and nod your head, affirming the choice. He grabs hold of the cake with one hand, “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

‘Ask for her name Nanami’ He repeats to himself in his head

“What is your name?” She beats him to the punch. 

‘Have you lost your touch?’-- “Nanami”

“I really like your name. It’s beautiful! My name is Y/N.”

‘Y/N, huh.. What a nice name..’

You give him his bag as he recollects his thoughts, “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve got to get going. Work” You shoot him one last smile before waving him off, “Thank you for coming! It was nice to meet you! Don’t work too hard!”

An hour goes by and it's time for the bakery to close for the night. You turn the lights off as the ladies load up the delivery car with food that wasn’t sold for the day so they could give it to the local kitchens and homeless shelters. You bid your coworkers farewell before hopping into your car and collecting yourself, before driving home.

After you get home you jump into bed, eager to text Nobara. 

[Txt]  Y/N - “I met such a cute guy today!”

A second later there’s an audio msg from her of Gojo;

[Voice Recording] “Wahh?! Y/N I wasn’t there today!”  in a whiny bit.

You laugh as Nobara actually sends a text;

[Txt] Nobara - “Tell me all about it when you come to karaoke… matter of fact, he should come!”

But you just met.. How are you going to pull that off… and will he even want to go is the better question… what if he thinks you’re weird … oh lord… so many overthinking possibilities.. Ok but what if he actually says yes?

[Txt] Y/N- “Are you sure?”

[Txt] Nobara  - “Yeah! Gojo-sensei is paying anyway.”

[justgrey]

Hello! I’d like to request the mercenaries with a fem mercenary reader who is a shapeshifter and has a pretty chaotic personality? Basically Nimona from the movie Nimona lol

Watched the movie finally, and now I'm gay for ballister. Thanks for that xoxo. be on the lookout for something on him because i want to chew him and hit him like a tennis ball

Also, it's safe to say I got a little stupid with this one 💀

Mercs with a chaotic! reader

Warnings : swearing, light mentions of gore, talk of body parts, medic.

CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS *jevil laughter*

Probably get along really well with Pyro and Scout not gonna lie because Pyro likes to burn shit (Even though I'm pretty sure they think they're spreading joy and colour) and Scout is pretty hyper in general, willing to go along with anything as long as it's fun.

*burns down barn*

"huddah huh huu hud."

"Yeah, loving the colour too, pally. Really makes the wood boom." *evil chuckles*

As soon as Pyro learns about your shapeshifting ability, they're all over you. They want you to play 3 different characters at their tea parties simultaneously and transform into a unicorn so that they can ride you into battle and fulfill their wildest dreams

"Hud hudda hu hubuh huuuuh HUDDAH!!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" *transforms into a unicorn* "Get on."

*excited hu noises*

"HUDDAHHHH!!"

Besties 💗🌈🔥✨️

Some of the older and quieter mercenaries are NOT gonna be having a field day with you and your silly little personality.

Sniper hates it THE MOST. He doesn't like people that much in general and can barely keep up with the hyperactive chaos that is you, so he mainly sticks to watching you burn shit down from afar.

"Did'ya really have ta' do that much?"

"Yeah. Why, you not liking it, pissboy?"

"..."

"That's what I thought. Don't be a hero, buddy."

Although he doesn't appreciate your snarky attitude, he likes how you can shapeshift. He really likes animals and will sometimes scope in on you when you transform, nodding with approval and whispering a little, "cool" that he hopes nobody hears.

Spy thinks you're a nuisance around the base but definitely sees the usefulness in your shapeshifting abilities since he kinda almost does the same damn thing, just with his goofy masks. He respects you for that, if anything, at all.

Do not ever expect to replace him or get remotely close to him in espionage, though. If you are at the same level as Nimona, you're not great at directly impersonating humans, and he will tease you about it.

"What was that, today?

"What was what?"

"The 'Oh Mon deu! Ack! Oohh! I dropped my baguette' if that was meant to be an impersonation of me, know that it was terrible, and my lawyer will be contacting you."

"I dunno, I think it was pretty accurate." *shrug*

Medic loves you. Sorry, not sorry. Loves you. Does get tired of you sometimes, but not all the time. He's generally also very *bzzz bzzz chaos organs* so he's happy to indulge in whatever you want to do which usually involves the absolute destruction of everything.

Medic is also incredibly fascinated by your shapeshifting ability. Do not sleep around this man while shape shifted because he's poking and prodding everywhere while you're out.

"Ohoho... how peculiar" *pokes open nerve*

"YEOUCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

*nervous chuckle as he hides a bucket of blood and from your view*

Engineer tries to be that guiding light he thinks you need. He's a friend, a father figure, a colleague, whatever you need. He's a nice Southern gentleman with a slightly insane twist. Encourages you to be careful around the others, but if you aren't, he's not complaining. Makes the job easier if everyone listens.

Heavy is pretty chill with you. He's neither annoyed nor pleased that you're around. He relatively keeps to himself, medic, and his guns.

Actually, do not touch his gun. Do not pretend to be his gun either.

Soldier and Demo like your charisma. You can be a pretty fun drinking partner for demo, and a nice soldier when you're willing to follow orders (which isn't usually) but as long as you get the job done with as much destruction as possible, Soldier is saluting you almost as much as he does the American flag that is hanging next to his bed.

"ANOTHER GREAT DAY, TODAY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND I MIGHT RAISE YOUR STATUS, CADET!"

"SIR YES SIR! or something I dunno, fuck this is weird..."

*walks with soldier, ignoring the screams of the dammed behind you*

He makes you transform into an eagle and has you sit there on his arm for a while, admiring you fly. It's brought him close to tears on many occasions.

Whenever he gets married to Heavy's sister, Soldier is making sure that you are THERE as an Eagle. He'll pay you to fly across the sky and make majestic bird noises.

Overall, some very mixed experiences. But a fun concept either way.

[worldsbeyondpod]

Hi again from the WBN social media manager! I'm excited to share with you all my next creation for the WBN Unofficial Cookbook Club.

I had to make Suvi's favorite bone marrow sandwich from Ep. 16; the description of its taste and textures sounded unlike anything I had ever tried before. Learning on the Ep. 16 Fireside Chat that Aabria basically invented this sandwich during a holiday trip made it extra special.

I bought the beef bones at my local supermarket, drizzled a little oil and a light sprinkling of salt on the surface of the bones, and then roasted them in the oven at 450°F / 232°C for about 20 minutes. Once the tops of the bones were browned, I took them out of the oven, scooped out the marrow as best as I could into a smaller bowl, and seasoned the marrow with a dash of savory salt, some cracked black pepper, and a dash of crushed red chile flakes.

Melon can be hit or miss for me, so I opted to sub in some fuyu persimmons instead. It's currently persimmon season, so I had a bunch on my counter ready for use. If you want to try this at home for yourself, make sure you get fuyu persimmons instead of hachiya! They have vastly different ripening processes and textures. I peeled and sliced the fuyu persimmons lengthwise, both so that I could see the gorgeous sand-dollar-like pattern on the inside of the fruit, and because the surface area of the slice would fit better on the area of the bread.

To assemble the sandwich, I sliced a store-bought baguette open and spread the seasoned bone marrow onto the top and bottom of the baguette. I considered toasting the baguette, but I enjoyed the softer texture of the bread as it was. I layered the persimmon slices across the marrow spread, and then loosely folded some store-bought prosciutto on top of the persimmon. Closed the sandwich, cut it in half, took a bite, and immediately understood everything Aabria was raving about. Dang.

A reminder that everyone and anyone is welcome to try their hand at the foods of Umora! Tag us or use the #WorldsBeyondNumber hashtag to show us your interpretations of this world’s delectable delights (either irl or artistic renderings!).

[perseephoneee]

decorating the tree (kol mikaelson x f!reader) {ficmas day 5}

꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ happy day 5 of ficmas!

warnings: kind of angsty, mostly fluffy, a little steamy. but most importantly, festive.

a/n: i got a little carried away with this one. kol is just my baby boy. also the formatting is horrendous because tumblr was being a little bitch.

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The holidays could be the most bittersweet time of the year. Observing everyone with their friends and families without having your own was lonely and often damaging. You usually could go home for the holidays, see your loved ones, or sleep in at your childhood home, but not this year. This year, because of all the shit happening in the French Quarter, you were forced to be alone.

You hated every second of it.

But, being the go-getter you were, you decided to make the most of it. And you involved the Mikaelsons in this scheme (they were part of the reason you were stuck in this mess anyway).

You had dragged Kol with you to get a Christmas tree. More like, Rebekah had convinced him to go with you. You harbored a massive crush on the original vampire, and Bex, your newest friend, was fully aware of it. It’s why she engineered him to spend more time with you. He helped drag the tree to your tiny apartment and lounged on your couch like a cat as you finished setting it up and dragging out your holiday ornaments.

“Should I go for a color scheme or just hang up whatever?” You asked Kol, holding up a box of white and gold ornaments. He was posed on your couch like a Greek statue, hand thrown over his eyes and legs sprawled out like he couldn’t give a damn. He opened one eye to look at your ornaments. You held up your box of random accouterments, including an abominable snowman and a glittery baguette ornament.

“I like the random ones,” Kol mumbled, laying his head back and letting out a sigh like the world was oh so cruel.

“Am I boring you?” You chastised, a frown marring your features.

“Darling, you could never bore me,” Kol coos. “I just find this to be obtuse.”

“What about it is obtuse?”

“When will you get to enjoy all of this?” Kol finally sat up, gesturing to your apartment. “With everything going on…you’d be lucky to have a Christmas.”

You deflated at his words, clutching your box of ornaments between your hands. Kol was right, but you loathed it. You wanted to just have a holiday, that was all.

He took notice of your somber mood and got off the couch to crouch in front of you.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” he sighed, picking up an ornament and hanging it on the tree. “Maybe I’ll be wrong.”

He wasn’t entirely wrong; you wanted to hate him for that. But you never could, not really. You spent your whole life feeling like you were holding your breath, but it was like you could actually breathe with him. He made you smile and also frustrated you to no end. Kol saved your life once, and you wondered there and then if it was physically possible to give him your heart. You never figured that part out.Later that week, you were at the Mikaelson compound preparing for a war meeting slash holiday dinner. Dinner was your idea, and Elijah backed you up. Some poor soul they compelled was likely making you food as you sat on Rebekah’s bed, flipping through a book.

“Did you ever have any holiday traditions?” You asked the blond, not looking up as you spoke. You could hear her rifling around at her vanity when she turned to you.

“Bonfire,” Bex answered. “We’d write our wishes and throw them in the fire.”

“We should do that!” You exclaimed, looking up at her. She chuckled at your excitement, even as a melancholy look crossed her features.

“What would you wish for?”

Rebekah took a beat.

“My family, together, at peace,” she said softly, looking down. You repositioned yourself to sit at the end of the bed, looking at her sadly.

“I won’t leave you, you know,” you murmured. “Even if I should’ve hit the hills a while ago.”

“I know that, dove,” Rebekah sighed. “You’re as much a part of this family as I am. I’m…grateful for that.” She tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and you were hit by the realization that she was just a girl in a woman’s body. “Because you’re my family, I know exactly what you’d wish for.”

“Oh?” You lifted a brow at that.

“For someone to meet you under the mistletoe,” Rebekah teased, getting up from her chair and tackling you down on the bed in a fit of giggles.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” you gasped between laughter.

“Oh dear, Y/N, if only you could acknowledge how much he cares,” Rebekah sighed, and you poked her on the nose before rolling out of her reach.

“Don’t tell lies, Bex, it’s cruel,” you chastised.

“Is my darling sister being a vixen again?” Kol called from the doorway, catching both you and Rebekah’s attention. He leaned up against the door, arms crossed and a smirk on his face. You felt your heart rate pick up as you took him in.

“What do you want?” Rebekah inquired, looking bored.

“Dinner is ready; I came to fetch you,” Kol smirked, giving you a wink that sent your heart spiraling from the stratosphere. Rebekah grumbled and got up, pushing past you and out the door. You moved to follow, but Kol grabbed your arm, pulling you back towards him.

“Kol,” you breathed, looking up at him in question.

“Do I scare you?” He asked, peering at you. “What?”

“Or is it nerves?” He traced his thumb over the vein on your inner arm, and you could swear he was listening to how your heart thumped. “What makes your heart jump every time I come around?”

“I get startled,” you stutter, ignoring the look in his eyes at your lie. Kol hummed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as his fingers traced your face.

“You know what I loathe about you?” Kol whispered. “You smell too sweet to resist…”

You wondered what would happen if you dared to kiss him right then, but the timing was never your forte, and you were interrupted by Rebekah yelling at the two of you to hurry up. You pulled yourself away, holding your breath, hoping to calm down as you descended the stairs. You could feel Kol following behind you.

Dinner was extravagant, as most things in the household were. You gored on rotisserie chicken and baked brie, letting the flavors coat your tongue. Elijah and Klaus bickered back and forth about a course of action with fighting the witches (they wanted Hope, of course). You could have been more helpful in these discussions anyway. Frankly, you weren’t sure why they kept you around. Maybe one day you’ll find out.

Dinner was interrupted by an explosion.

You felt yourself fly back, hitting the floor in the dust. The enemies had effectively retaliated, and the Mikaelsons fought back perfectly with tooth and claw. You brought yourself to a standing position, coming eye to eye with a witch who looked at you like you were a pawn on a chessboard. You sucker-punched her before she could make a move.

The Mikaelsons dealt with the threat in record time, and when the dust on their battlefield had settled, the arguments started. First, Klaus ranted about how they should’ve been more prepared, and then Elijah tried to explain how they made logical choices up to this point. Rebekah would occasionally butt in.

You just stood there hearing the noise build up in your head. You had the vague sense that you were bleeding, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Someone came up next to you, and you turned to see it was Kol. He said something that you didn’t hear before biting his wrist and holding it up to you. You tentatively took it, letting his blood coat your throat before pulling away. The ringing stopped, and you felt your body stabilize.

The pressure from the family screaming match didn’t go away, though. Someone yelled, “Stop,” and everyone turned to look at you. You almost didn’t recognize your own voice breaking the chaos.

“Just stop,” you pleaded. You looked at each sibling, forcing them to really see you. “It’s the fucking holidays…why is there always fighting? Why are you always fighting?” Your voice broke. “You have each other, and you care so much even when you pretend you don’t, and you’re always fighting.”

“I would do anything to have my family right now, but I don’t, and it kills me,” you choked. “You guys have each other, and what do you do? Nothing. Nothing at all.”

You don’t know why you broke, but you did. Being alone during your favorite season hurt you way more than you let on. It felt like looking from outside your body as you walked out of the compound on the way home. You entered your apartment silently, flipping on the lights to absolute silence.

You took a shower and went out in pjs, bundling yourself up in front of your fireplace. It was one of the amenities that sold you on the apartment. You wrote out your wishes on a piece of paper, folding them into paper cranes (for the sake of being dramatic) and tossing them in the fire. You sniffled, hugging your knees to your chest and weeping. You missed home and your family. You felt terribly alone.

On your paper cranes, you wrote for your family, for being surrounded by loved ones during the holidays, and Kol liking you back. Simple, trivial wishes, but ones you had nonetheless. You debated calling it an early night when you heard a knock on your door.

You got up slowly to open it, recoiling in shock when Kol bounds in with Klaus following behind him. Both are wearing Santa hats.

“Mother of God—“ you curse, watching as Kol drops boxes of decorations on your couch and Klaus makes a beeline for your kitchen. “What are you doing here?”

“Celebrating Christmas,” Klaus says, pouring himself a drink (somehow finding your alcohol).

“What?”

“Elijah and Bex will be here shortly,” Kol chimes, taking out some lights and struggling to detangle them. You walk over to help him. As Kol says, Elijah and Rebekah come with more decor than you can handle and even some presents. Elijah gives you the early gift of a record player, a sleek Audio-Technica he sets up in the corner. He puts on a Christmas record and lets Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas” sound fill the space. Rebekah decides your apartment should be rearranged and goes to work pushing the furniture into their new places, making Klaus help her. You join Kol in decorating the tree. This mainly includes you redoing what he’s done since he’s absolutely dreadful at it. He pretends like he doesn’t notice you do it.

“This one reminds me of you,” Kol says, holding up a bright red apple ornament. It’s lightly dusted in glitter.

“Why? Because I’m the apple of your eye?” You jest, earning a slight chuckle.

“In Jewish tradition, the apple symbolized strength and hope for prosperity,” Kol explains. “In Wicca, it’s a powerful tool for protection. Much like you.”

You don’t have anything to respond to that, as Kol places the apple in the perfect place. You don’t move to rearrange it, it’s already in its home. You blush under Kol’s gaze and go back to decorating.

Rebekah claps her hands to capture everyone’s attention.

“Family photo time!” She announces, brandishing a camera she must’ve found stashed in one of your drawers. Klaus groans, and she swats him. You all gather in front of the tree. Elijah holds the camera with Klaus behind him, Kol, you, and Rebekah. Rebekah wraps an arm around your middle and props her head on your shoulder as you lean into Kol to fit better in the frame. Kol puts an arm around your shoulders and rests his head against yours.

“Smile,” Elijah says, taking the photo. You all gather around the screen, and you can’t help but smile at how well it turned out.

“You have a future in photography,” you chuckle, nudging Elijah. He rolls his eyes.

“No, thank you.”

Klaus pours everyone some champagne (again, where he was finding your alcohol is a mystery). You see the star at your tree's top and struggle to fit it on. Grabbing a chair, you nervously climb atop it.

“Here, let me help,” Kol says, grabbing your waist for support as you get on your tip toes and fit on the star. He holds you as you step off the chair, finding yourself in his arms. “Can we go somewhere quiet?” He asks, a hint of a tremble in his voice.

You gesture towards the bathroom, a place that’s already too noisy because of your rocky heater. He walks ahead of you, and you close the door behind him. You watch as Kol takes in the checkered floors, blue wallpaper, and clawfoot bathtub.

“Darling, this place is horrendous,” Kol states, and you laugh. “It works.” “It’s terrible.” “Not all of us are made of money,” you cross your arms, leaning against the counter.

“I have to get you a new place purely so I don’t have to look at this one,” Kol runs a hand through his hair, another hand on his hip. He looks ridiculous, and it makes you love him even more.

“What did you need the privacy for?” You ask.

“I have a gift for you,” Kol rifles through his pocket, pulling out a small red box. Your breath catches as he hands it to you. You open the box with trembling fingers to find a necklace inside. It’s simple, with a pendant of a moon eclipsing the sun. Your fingers trace with the charm with a delicacy reserved for beautiful things. “I saw it and thought of you.”

“I don’t know what to say…” “Say you’ll let me take you on a date.”

Your head shoots up, and you look at Kol with wide eyes. For once, his expression isn’t one of a cocky vampire, but rather a nervous boy. “What?”

“I figured it out,” Kol starts, stepping closer to you and cornering you by the door. “Why your heart beat so fast around me…why Rebekah is always asking me to do things with you…why you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” Kol looks down at you, forcing you to look up to meet his gaze. “You like me.”

“I—“ “It’s alright, I like you too. A lot. More than anyone in the past centuries,” Kol whispers. You wonder if maybe that wish you threw in the fire possesses real magic as you see your dreams coming true.

“Okay.” “Okay?”

“You can take me on a date,” you answer, feeling your breath shaky as Kol steps closer.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?” He trails his fingers across your jaw, chin, and lips. Your body is on fire.

“You can call me your girlfriend,” you whimper as his nose brushes yours.

“Can I kiss you?” He lets his breath fan your face, and you can barely let out an affirmative before you grab him by the collar and drag his lips to yours. One of his hands boxes your head against the wall as the other holds your hip, pulling you closer. Your hands tangle in his hair, and you hear him let out a small groan at the action. You let him take control because you’re barely holding on with the way he kisses and touches you. You’re afraid you might break apart if he lets go, and you can barely hold in your gasp as his fingers brush under your shirt.

You would let him take you right there, and then if not for Rebekah knocking on the door.

“Stop snogging and finish the tree!” She yells, earning a growl from Kol as you hear her walk away cackling. He turns back to you, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips as he looks at you with eyes the color of the night sky.

“How does 8pm tomorrow sound?” “Sounds like a date.”