#*him* getting a child without magic? cant have that happen

[leisureflame]

"I CANT THINK"

If you write, I assure you you have thought that.

Fear no more child, for I have found a solution.

it's called Rapid writing

something we learned when I was in 9th grade drama class and I cannot emphasize enough just how effective it is. Its actually what gave me the idea for my first book.

Stop what you are doing and do what I tell you

go grab either a pencil and paper (or open an empty document)

set a timer for 2 minutes

ask a friend to give you a random sentence. I have a few examples that I myself rapid wrote to: a) I looked around and saw b) the old lady hung from the ceiling and laughed c) purple paint dripped from her long purple fingernails d) there is a hole in my ceiling. e) when I am sad I... f) When you close the door, I... g) there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob

Now the most important thing is not to think of this sentence before you start writing. as soon as you decide which one if you are choosing from my examples (or as soon as you hear it if you are getting if from a friend), start the timer.

start writing the sentence and without hesitating just keep writing. the #1 rule here is to not stop or hesitate for a single second until the 2 minutes are over. you can write nonsense if you want and if you REALLY can't continue then write some random words for a couple of seconds then continue AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL WRITING.

another rule is that you are not allowed to delete. even if its a spelling error, just ignore it.

after the timer is done, I promise you will have something to work with. now copy the paragraph you wrote and paste it below, here you can start fixing spelling errors and adding things at your own pace because now the creative side of your brain has opened.

don't think about the way you are writing or the words you use, think about the story you are telling. the idea.

Sometimes you will get something beautiful and deep like I did here:

When I am sad I go to my blanket, not many people know about it, all they think is happening is that a child likes to cuddle in a blanket, but no. my blanket has a special thing about it, it is a magical blanket, well, not the blanket itself but the embroidery on the blanket, it simply takes my sadness away but it adds the story of my emotions to the embroidery, my blanket is a very pretty one, it is a pastel blue color and it has so much silk embroideries that you just think its patterns, but it isn't, if you look deeper you will find stories every one of those stories came from someones tears... my tears. whenever i cry, i wipe my tears with my blanket and my pain goes but my story stays.

or

there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob on the door there is a painting of you, and there are many locks on the door from top to bottom, when you open the door, there is a mirror. this door is the door to self discovery, from the outside there is a painting of how people think you look like but when you open the door, you get to see what you really are in detail and look at yourself they way you want to, you can smile or cry and the refection on the mirror will change but on the painting, it doesn't show ur emotions, just how people see you usually.

or you can get something so stupid like i did here:

there is a hole in the ceiling in my classroom. everyday a dinosaur would a pear and eat my lunch and i keep coming home hungry but my mom dsays she packed me enough food. so she didn't feed me. i told her a dinasour was eating my lunch but she said that disasours only live in Norway! so i went into the school vents looking for that idino and revenge my food, we met at last, held our weapons, i was holding a subway sandwich and the dino was holding a bana na MY BANANA  i lost it, so i attacked him one hit on the head and the whole species were extinct , people thousand of years from now said dinos got extinct because of a meteorite but i know better, also i am still alive because whoever kills a dino becomes immortal, also i killed my mom for not believing me and let her starve in her grave just like she let made me starve. and then i killed everyone who was a flat earther because i hate them and now i can kill anyone once i tap them with my super subway sandwich 

(by the way, ignore the horrible spelling, the examples i gave were from the unedited version.)

THE POINT IS ITS ACTUALLY SO HELPFUL. you can use it for a new story idea (i used the blanket one as an element in one of my WIPs and it helped the story a lot) or if you get something stupid like the dino one I wrote THATS GOOD THATS FINE because now you have your creativity going.

I challenge you to actually try this and PLEASE share it with me I LOVE reading other peoples rapid writings. have fun <3

tagging @cosmosandcapybaras24 @ajsbookshelf @gloryofdawn, @chaoticharmony93 @deception-united and anyone else who's interested to try this out and share with me!

[obessed-with-fictional-men]

oh my sweet Gale

I will admit, the very first run through of this game i found Gale annoying, pushy, dumped trauma everywhere, narcissistic in his knowledge of magic, and the need to prove how right his in in the subject. I often found myself thinking and saying out loud "omg shut up"..... buuuuut... having romanced him...... i found that his personality traits are the exact same as someone born as a child prodigy, had his ego inflated, alienated by everyone around him, and made to think he was superior by someone higher up just to then land on his ass.

I wont go through what i think of his character development because each play through is different, and for each player its different... but this is what i think of him over all.

Gale doesn't know how to talk to people. He doesn't have social queues that almost everyone else picks up on. Gale has spent, up till the tadpole, the exception in a lot of the situations he was put into and thus it became his default personality. Yes, for those of us who have romanced him (keeps romancing him) we see someone haunted by their past choices and watch him grow. We see the nerd that he is, but this is more about the potential Gale before we meet him. So bare with me.

He was a child prodigy and put into a prestigious school where he flourished. I can only image how his professors loved him and his fellow students less than enthusiastic response. You know what happens when you become the teachers pet? You become ostracized by your fellow peers. You know what happens when you are really good at something that usually takes A LOT of practice for others? You either get used or don't make friends. Gale has had ONE story that involved other people and it didn't involve friends, he was at a bar and defused a brawl with ale. He has openly admitted to Tara being his only real friend.

Now this isn't to say Gale never had to work at his magic or arcane knowledge to get him to where he is in the game when he first meet him. He was an archmage and the chosen of Mystera, but his innate ability to wield it as a young boy is what got Mystera's attention. Gale has stated that she was his teacher first, then his muse and finally his lover. You can only imagine how special he felt when Mystera chose him to be his guiding hand..... and then to be a lover? I don't care who you are..... That shit would have to inflate your ego. That shit would make you feel like you were SOOO much better than your fellow peers. You would have those toxic thoughts and comments of "yeah, well Mystera chose me! So who needs friends/criticism/physical lovers/ect". What do you typically do when you catch the attention of someone you highly regard? You try to impress them and do what you can to be even more impressive! So Gale's ambition grew to newer heights. I cant imagine what Mystera poisoned his mind with while they were together. Like, i get she told him to just be content with the things were.... but come on Mystera... you couldn't have expected him to stop striving to be better with a simple "nah, you're cool how you are. you don't need to be my equal". Not when the poor man has spent the last 2 decades of his life striving to be the best. His most important years for growth and development have been spent on trying to impress others.

Gale learns of a way to possibly convince Mystera to allow him into her domain and it gets a carnivorous orb shoved into his chest, dumped, stripped of his titles and holed up in his tower without nary a reason why. That had to be the biggest blow he has ever received in his entire life. His act of what he believed to be a sure fire way into getting what he wanted ended up taking almost everything away from him. If it wasn't for Tara, i'm sure Waterdeep would have succumbed his to orbs blight. The man locked himself in his tower and turned away all his colleagues and family.

So imagine, you are this lonely person... squirreled away from others and any social interaction. No one to talk to except your pet *sorry Tara* and all of a sudden you find yourself on a ship.... with a parasite in your brain and then your thrust into an adventure with a bunch of strangers. You have this orb in your chest that could blow at any time and you cant really explain WHY you need magical items.... but that if you don't get them.... everyone is in trouble.... you find your group facing monsters and doing weird ass side quests.... and at any given opportunity, you like to drop a knowledge bomb on the group.... just to find that some of the group members don't like your input... or don't listen at all.. which doesn't sit well with you. You've been told how right you are for like... 20 years... You haven't been given many acts of kindness since becoming an adult, what with your abrasive "im more knowledgeable in everything and i've slept with a goddess" personality, so when you see your fearless leader doing something nice, you approve. You grown to trust this leader enough to tell them the truth.... knowing full well they may turn on you, but they don't! You continue to watch them, and share moments of magic with them, you fight along side them, and what is this? Are you starting to develop feelings for them? Are they reciprocating these feelings?

He gets a death sentence slapped on his back and these new budding feelings he has for you need to be made known. What better way than to show you how much you mean to him than to literally paint the sky in the weave for you. To take away the Shadow-lands curse and SHOW you something better. He thinks 'the most perfect night would have to be some place im comfortable and vulnerable.... so that i can SHOW them. This is me, Gale. This is my whole world and at the center of it, my very heart'. he is literally showing you who he is. he is this studious... lonely man.. who sits in front of his fire place reading and researching... or out on his terrace watching the sunset with a book. Like, do you accept this version of me that you have not seen yet? *Not to mention the weave/ astral projected 3 gale gang bang you get while spinning through the cosmos. He is such a show off... or he just isnt confident in his own physical/ mortal ability to woo and wow*

To watch Gale throughout my few play throughs grow as a person and learn that having to much ambition can oft lead to ruin... and watch him change to just be content with himself as he is... i get a lot of comfort from it. I haven't gone down the God route yet, nor have i tried to make him more villainous, but who knows lol.

I have a lot thoughts on pre-tadpoled Gale and how his life up to that point made him who he is when we are first introduced to him. Gale is definitely my comfort character.

Sorry for the rant... or maybe im not. Once again... these are my thoughts from my multiple play throughs.

[l0stfoster]

I have never felt more loved in my life thank you for loving me and the autistic tendencies this au has brought out of me 🫶🫶🫶 - paul anon

While we’re at it can we hear more abt the ritual/when paul got the markings? And when darry saw them for the first time how did that play out ??

Also, i saw what he was mfing reading in that one doodle you cant hide from me. Is there ever a time where Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens ?? Does he succeed (which I hope he does NAWT)?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught ?? Like i need details its all im thinking about

I need you to know how quickly the grin on my face appeared when I read this. It was instantaneous, immediately a little smirk. Ohhhh how I've been waiting for this one.

There's a LOT of typing because Paul's lore stuff was one of my favorites to create, so everything is below the cut as usual. Though, just to be safe as well. Your question isn't being answered in order, cutting it up a bit differently. The first two questions have little drabble kinda answers with their bullet points, 'cause I had felt silly.

// mentions of child abuse, ritualistic self-harm, and implied passive suicidal ideation

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

When Darry saw Paul's markings for the first time, how did that play out ??

Paul's scars weren't exactly something Darry had been unaware of. More specifically, it had always been the pair of scars horizontally along Paul's forearms that he'd gotten adjusted to seeing. He made his own assumptions. He never asked about them, either, since Paul made his contempt for them clear each and every time he made it a point to keep them covered. He was always in their old football letterman jacket or any other thing that would keep them out of people's view. Darry could argue that he'd never even seen the male without a shirt on, as well, even if they didn't cover the scars themselves. So, when he'd idly kept his eyes on Paul as the male changed; he'd been completely startled (and admittedly, a little panicked) at the large, complicated marking practically branded into his boyfriend's back. The thing that bothered him the most, though, was that it looked too neat for Paul to have done it himself. "..How'd you get that scar on your back?" Darry didn’t know what response he’d expected. Maybe for Paul to wave him off, dismiss it as he always did whenever a sensitive question came up. Maybe this was something all witches had, something that proved their connection to it which needed to be hidden because he'd grown up on the side of the tracks that would've had him killed for it. What he wasn’t expecting was the hesitation, let alone the quiet answer he'd been given. “-I.. don’t know.”

- Darry, unfortunately, didn't get any answers the first time. Paul avoids the conversation real hard every time Darry asks, but this is the one thing Darry doesn't want to drop, just because it seems to freak Paul out so bad. - He only finds out what it is because he snoops a liiiiittle bit (Paul is VERY private with his witchcraft) and connects the dots himself. - The reason Paul's just as confused is because he avoids looking at the mirror or himself at all costs. When he looks for too long, he sees his parents staring back at him; and he hates it. Avoiding it flat-out means he doesn't have to ask himself why he hates it. - Darry recognizes it's magical. Hell, being a fae, he could probably sense any kind of magical connection to it if he tried hard enough.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ Can we hear more abt the ritual/When Paul got the markings?

Paul doesn't remember when he got the ritual carving on his back, at least, he doesn't at first. It seems that's part of the point when he goes digging through his books, looking for anything familiar to the markings on his skin. The answers he does get just leave him more confused; they're not supposed to pair together. All those runes, the apotropaic symbol- it's all stuff that directly aims to hinder his power, to hide it; and it certainly worked, because the last thing he can even recall about his curse before it surfaced once more was his mom's face, twisted in disgust and oh. Oh. It dawns on him fast; the memory floods his mind way too quickly while pieces connect. He'd always wondered why they owned a book about blood magic when witches didn't specialize in that; his mom didn't even seem to use it, she never used her powers much as it was. As he stares at the pages listing the meaning of all the symbols that adorn his back, he realizes two things. The first thing is that this wasn't in the books, this was made for one reason; originally made with malicious intent. The second thing is that he thinks he knows why the ritual knife he knows always looked so familiar. "This is for your own good." How cruel is it to find out your own mother willingly mutilated you in an attempt to restrain your power?

- Yeah, Paul's mom carved the marking into his back and used her own magic to put his own into remission. She had to make it herself, as no witch would want to take away their own power; hence it not being in the book. - The worst part for him is that he can't bring himself to hate her for it. If anything, it makes him hate his power worse. If his mom hated it enough to do this, then it has to be horrible. - This is how he realizes blood magic might be able to get rid of his power btw </3 - Remission is the only way to hide them without full removal, but the fact that he's always with the cursed now means it wouldn't work. Hence why the rumble awakened it again, because he was surrounded by them. - The ritual carving is part of why he can’t channel his power to its fullest potential, due to actively having the scar of something that was meant to restrain him. - It still holds its effects sometimes, there’s days when Paul’s absolutely incapable of using his powers bc the carving’s ritual was to prevent him from doing it in the first place, and so despite his magic showing back up, it’s still trying to clamp down on it. - As far as he knows, there's no way to reverse it. It's carved into skin, he'd have to be able to get rid of that scar. It'd weaken once his mom dies, though, but that's far in the future. - He likely takes the ritual knife to his own back to "ruin" the carving reading, but even that's not a guarantee to work.

Is there ever a time when Paul tries to get rid of his powers and what happens?? Does he succeed?? Does he fail?? Does he get caught??

- Paul, so far for what we've got written, has tried to get rid of his powers twice via blood rituals. - The first time was while he still lived at home, but the intent for it was a bit different. He wasn't trying to get rid of them permanently at the time, instead he was more focused on trying to mute them to a point where he could control them easier; as his magic is directly tied to his emotions during the early days and his parents grew increasingly pissed the more they showed themselves. - He was also very new to blood magic and the rituals involving it; if he'd started smaller it might've gone better, as a ton of witch rituals, spells, and even potion work require a blood sacrifice-- but this was the first thing he attempted. He went in completely blind, and it. Didn't work out, which is probably for the best. - He needed a LOT of blood for the ritual, hence why the scars on each arm are large and long; he was going to make sure it worked, even if he was being really stupidly careless with the approach-- and then his dad walked in before he finished the ritual. - A reoccurring theme you'll notice is that Paul's (blood heavy) rituals get interrupted before he finishes; they're very focus heavy and the slightest interruption can ruin it. He thinks he's just fucking up the ritual by doing something wrong or not offering enough of his blood. - Anyways, Mr. Holden, being an asshole, was more pissed off by the mess Paul was making; his mother mirrored that emotion, but her anger was because he failed the ritual. She doesn't care that he's actively bleeding out, she's upset that he couldn't successfully contain himself. - As seen in the doodles in here beneath the cut, Paul had to patch himself up; a trip to the hospital would require an explanation or Paul would be framed as suicidal, and god forbid their reputation be effected. He could've probably healed himself to make it easier to at least manage, but his father insisted he had to live with the consequences- and the scars. - Paul's fully forced to hide 'em as well, they're "disgusting" and "something he should be ashamed of"

- The second time, was after he moved into the Curtis home. - I've already made it very loud and clear that Paul carry's a lot of guilt, including generational due to the fact that his great-great-whatever-the-fuck-grandmother was the one who caused the curse. He's fine with his curse for a good bit after easing into the greasers, but watching how their treated makes that guilt grow worse. Sure, HE didn't make the curse, but he's related to the person who did. - A part of him thinks that, if the bloodline ends with him, it'll free the next generation as well. This is why he's so careless with blood rituals even when they're not in the attempt to get rid of his power. Either he successfully gets rid of the curse, or dies trying. In the long run, both options eliminate the bloodline. - (It's good to note this wouldn't work, by the way. The curse is set over Tulsa, and nothing would happen if the witch's bloodline ended. The guilt’s just convinced him that he’s directly apart of why it still exists; and his mom pushed that narrative as well.) - So, after finding out what his mom did to him and learning the fact that he can create his own blood magic spells; he looks into that for a more.. permanent solution to ridding himself of his magic. - Paul does not know the curse is tied to his life force. - He's long since had his own area for all his witchy shit at the Curtis house, since his witchcraft does usually require a bit of privacy (focus related, and he just feels weird being watched doing it) so it was merely a matter of shutting himself in. They're lucky he doesn't know a locking spell - The same thing repeats as it did the first time. - Darry's the one who walks in on him, because Johnny got death flashes about it. - In contrast to Mr. and Mrs. Holden, though, Darry nearly has a fucking aneurysm. He knows absolutely nothing about this blood magic stuff, meaning he's walking in on his boyfriend with his arms cut open, the air heavy with magic, and goddamn how the fuck is Paul not dead because that is so much fucking blood. He thinks it's some kind of self-harm thing (and it technically is, because there's much smarter ways for Paul to get his blood without almost killing himself.) - Paul tries to go "I can explain" but Darry's picking his ass up and dragging him inside - Darry's absolutely horrified, he's so fucking shaken and so is Paul; not because of what he's done, but because he hates that he's freaking out Darry like this. - It's a rough night for both of them.

- Timewing proposed the idea that Paul considers trying again, but he ends up looking at Darry and being soft after thinking abt what could happen just like "..I couldn't do that to him. I've hurt him enough." - Which is very silly we enjoyed it. - If Paul did succeed he would NOT have died immediately. He'd just progressively get weaker and weaker until, inevitably, he doesn't wake up.

Long ass paragraphs I apologize.

[mysteryanimator]

Bro your opinions on characters are so well put together I wanted to ask if you think if Olrox’s lover and Richters mom could be considered “haunting the narrative” type characters I get not all dead characters are but I feel like Nocturne would barely be a story if it weren’t for them 😭

OMG BAHAHA TYTY, I just really enjoy the nuances and character depth Nocturne has, and my gulity pass time is to do research and deep dives, then tucking them away in my brain. It really helps me to inform art I make in general coz I love putting in that same nuance visually.

Again thoughts are my own and it’s me being silly and hyperfixating ✋😔

Steering to your question, 100% the death of these characters are haunting the narrative and they both overlap each other because the death of Olrox’s lover led to the death of Julia. Particularly they haunt Olrox and Richter, aka our main protagonist and main antagonist. Both their deaths inform the choices and paths they take after the fact, which I’ll keep iterating coz it’s fun: there is always a choice. Massive theme is choicesssss. Also the consequences of your choices.

Like the whole of Nocturne could have not been the way it ended up without their deaths LOL. The narrative would’ve been wayyy different if even ONE of them were alive. Butterfly effect I think you could put it as?

Since Richter was a child when Julia died, it obviously had a massive impact on him growing up and in turn literally prevented him from doing magic until late in season 1. Nocturne Richter can’t be Nocturne Richter we know today without Julia dying. While he still grew up in a loving space that challenged him to be a strong fighter, he literally still gets haunted while dozing off. The mere echo of Olrox’s voice causes him to spiral.

Meanwhile, Olrox is STILL deeply affected by his lover’s death. I can only presume Olrox merely acts the way he does now after Julia killed his lover, merely due to my observations in Ep 6, where he talks about his lover which is a-lot more different to how he’s been presented prior to that. Was Olrox genuinely that much softer and open previously before everything happened? My thoughts are yes. While I think back then he still was this charismatic witty character is now, I’d like to think he also used to be a lot more softer and open until he lost the reason to 🥲

Which by the way, Julia and Olrox’s lover technically manifests themselves again, if that makes sense? Hopefully? I have a point with this and I hope I can get this out with the way it’s structured in my brain. Richter having his powers back, along with Juste now coming into the fray, an older familia Belmont.

Olrox, falling for a man who “burns with such passion” and “fought with the revolutionaries; Mizrak. (Mystery unable to not bring up Mizrak again whoops). As you can tell, Julia and Olrox’s lover literally even redirect them back to the where they were before. If that makes sense??

Regardless, the death of Julia and the death of Olrox’s lover is crucial to Nocturne’s story and hover above our characters. Every choice, every thought, every path they take, is haunted by their deaths.

Tyyy for the ask, cant believe this page is slowly but surely also turning into art with a side of “people allowing Mystery to ramble about their favourite show”. Can’t wait for Geeked Week so I can break down any sneak peek, frame by frame, which funnily falls on my birthday LOL

[mrstsung]

The only kids shang tsung would have and loves is his own. From himself.

NOT MILEENA. sorry not sorry i hate that hc with a burning passion from fandom.

If it's not made from him,the ol fashion way. He wouldn't be as keen with it. Im not saying if there was a child in the equation with you before (single parent) that he wouldn't step up. He would. But if it's a child made by magic or something like that. It would bring back not so nice memories. Ptsd even.

So i doubt he'd be dad to an experiment like mileena or milly herself. Too much baggage there. I've been over why that hc from Fandom isn't a good one because it's so ooc and ignoring his tramas from shao kahns court and the crap he went through. It's ignoring key parts for a short lived thing that honestly could be easily remedied by MAKING AN OC OR FANKID.

If you want him to have a half tarkatan child make an oc. Leave mileena alone!

She needs kitana,her sister,not a father. If anything. Raiden is right fucking there. Have him step up.

Shang tsung i love him to death but kids,is a touchy subject i feel for him. And honestly,not everyone is ok with parenting. Even people who like kids,want kids but cant have em,etc.

Sorry for this rant but i just do not like this hc. And i myself as much as i dont mind kids,they are a lot of work,and even reading hcs about parenting drains me. Don't get me wrong shang would be an excellent father,just not to mileena. Mileenas father IS SHAO KAHN. that's right there,plain as day. No matter what you think,say or hc. Shao kahn is millys dad. Now like i said kitana stepping up,squashing the unnecessary beef,and ACTUALLY WRITING THEM WITHOUT TARNISHING EITHERS CHARACTER BY WRITING MILEENA AS A FUCKING DISEASED ANIMAL THAT CAN EASILYTUNR BACK INTO A CONVENIENTLY ATTRACTIVE EYECANDY UGH. is what needs to happen. Kitana and mileena despite her being a clone,actually being sisters and ruling outworld side by side.

She doesn't need a man. To make her great. Father or otherwise.

Plus mileena being treated like she has no agency. Even as a fictional character. Pisses me off. Women of mk get this too often. Sadly.

Plus shang doesn't like mileena nor treated her like a person. And mileena hates shang for creating her. Tanya was the only other person who actually gave a rats ass about her other than reptile. Kitana if they weren't cowards. Sindel cared for mileena but was selfish because kitana was actually born form sindel. Not milly. So.....sindel a bit vain. Unless you want mileena to be of a tarkatan affair and add drama to the kahns. Lol. (I actually have a whole ass story idea for that. But again. It's only an idea. Not what actually happened) either way. Mileena doesn't need a man to be amazing.

Tanya is her daddy *wink*. Lol. I joke i joke.

But yeah i just hate when fandoms ignore the obvious traumas and problems for a cute short hc that doesn't even make sense. MAKE AN OC. it's ok. It's not cringe. Police wont bust down your door for making a fucking kid oc for shang tsung. God!

Anyways. I have fankids with shang tsung. But it's more of an exploration idea than anything. Not nessicarly an au,but eh. I dont mind the idea. Just not nessicary for me in my self ship. I like being kidless in my self ship. It's easier to manage. But eh shit happens.

But anyways. If y'all wanna see the fankid au. Or my juicy outworld court drama idea. Lemme know.

[slashingdisneypasta]

DMD!Scarecrow x Reader || Drabble

Plot: Dorothy got away from him twice. You're not getting away even once.

Based on This imagine.

Warnings: Possessiveness, entitlement, sexual references.

It was happening to him again. He helped her, he did everything that he could think of to make her happy here and get her what she wanted, and she was leaving again. First it was Dorothy- twice. And now he was having to watch Y/N leave, too.

What was the point of doing good if he was always just lonely for it?

Your hands on either side of his head feel good, and so do his hands on your waist (He doesn't want to let go), and the smell of your hair when the breeze lifts it up and carries it to him makes him feel a little dizzy- and then your lips, on his cheek. That's...

He's been kissed before, but it never felt like that.

"I love you, dear Scare." You whisper, falling down lightly back onto your heels. A smile on your pretty face. "Its been a hell of a few weeks. Thank you for everything." Your hands slips away from him and its like his dusty seams were being ever-so-carefully ripped apart. "I'll miss you forever."

... Oh yeah? A bitter note slips into the Scarecrow's thoughts. Bitter and spiteful and mean. Its, possibly, the first time, that the Scarecrow had allowed himself to feel wholly selfishly. The Winkies and what he did with them... he convinced himself that was just merely curiosity. That was for the Kingdom. That was for Dorothy, that was- that was so old Nick could stop acting so foolishly... But this, how he was feeling about you leaving-- there was no doubt about it. That was selfish.

He wants you to stay because he wants you. He wanted you from the moment he pulled you out of that crashed helicopter (Thats what you said it was called. You told him that ordinarily, it flew. Without magic, even.) and you clung to him in so much fear he could practically see it in your pretty eyes. He wants you to stay, and be with him, and most importantly want him back.

Now that- that, might take some work he thinks.

Work he has no time, now, to put in. Because you're taking the old wizard's hand (That fucking old man) and letting him pull you into another damn hot air balloon.

Before he can control his outburst, he tries one last (admittedly, desperate) attempt to make you stay. He pulls you back, so you fall into him, and holds you up. "Y/N wait."

"-Hm?!" You're frazzled from how he yanked you, eyes wide and heart beating so fast in your chest he can feel it against his, but you feel safe in his arms. He likes to way you relax looking up at him; realising its your friend.

... a friend who suddenly thinks that you would look even prettier, on the ground with your legs apart.

He should've taken you, he thinks, back in the field he found you in. Before you went on your adventures, before you found the wizard. With just the ears of corn to hear and the crows to watch; Then you might've thought twice, before leaving him.

"Stay, Y/N. Come on, admit it- " A smirk spreads across his stitches. "We make a good team, here."

"Oh, Scare, we do!... " Quickly, you right yourself against him and lift your arms to touch his face with your hands, again. And for a split moment, the Scarecrow thinks it worked. How moronic of him. He has the best brains in all of Oz; he should've known better. "... but I cant stay here. I need to go home! There are things I need to fix, there. Things I want, there... You understand don't you?"

When he doesn't respond for a few moments too long, just staring at you as if he were just an empty headed scarecrow, you tilt your head to the side and furrow your brows at him; concerned. "Scare?"

The wizard notices something in him that you don't, and Scarecrow hates him even more for it in that moment, as he leans back out of the balloon and grips your wrist. Urging you to get into the basket. "Come on now, child, I'm cutting the rope."

"Oh- " You let go of Scarecrow so easily, something finally snaps inside him as he watches you turn and reach for the wizards hand again. "I'm coming- "

"Of course your friend understands why you have to go." You're almost inside the basket when the old wizard adds that little comment.

If he hadn't, you might've indeed gotten away. But through painted canvas ears, that simple phrase sounded too much like bait.

"... the HELL, I do."

Screw doing the good thing anymore. The smartest man in the world can have everything he wants- and so he will.

[systemclasificationpending]

Plurality and Telepathy

before we start this all started from a discord server @derinthescarletpescatarian server has the best and weirdest conversations we love it there (and we love @kim-poce and @moonfall-collective, also @skeletalprism and @stars-says-fuck are also wonderful) what happens when Plurality meets telepathy so many thoughts and these were our contributions:

ok cracks knuckles lets fucking GO so i really like the it depends on how deep into the mind you go thought, so if you're just going surface level thoughts aka front youll get whoever is fronting so if you check in later on and its someone else fronting it feels like a different person maybe even a slightly different mind and it could be incredibly disorienting for the telepath as well "hold up this??? is a different person??? but how???" angst potential there especially if the systems egg carton hasn't been cracked yet [meaning they dont know theyre a system], say a little deeper into a mind of a system and it starts to get noisy, overlapping voices, different volumes, different ages, different genders, its loud and overwhelming all coming from one mind you know the trope of going fully into someone's mind seeing the inner workings, like a mind palace or whatever structure they use in the setting? they see the inner world and the telepath is just shocked to see it having other people in it, full people not wisps of memories of people but people, people they've never met yet they can feel so familiar (have fronted around them before) people who wear the body's face but feel entirely foreign maybe theyre even a child version of the body and yet they have never felt this mind before yet this is the one that looks like the body (maybe doesnt front, maybe just hasnt fronted around them) and assuming theyve never heard of DID before and say are known for being good at mind shit, theyre confused, shocked have no idea how to handle this and for once theyre the ones being led around by someone else maybe they have a really well put together inner world and its the most put together mind they've seen and theyre shocked cuz "i thought you hadnt done any insert mind magic/telepathy shit here??? how can your mind be so ordered without having done any?" also id imagine it wouldnt be a "ive always had this power" but they trained to have telepathy and are still learning about the different ways minds can form and be however they dont think they are cuz well i have all this experience (in reality its maybe only a few years)

also maybe they know how to quiet their mind around telepaths who cant turn it off because well they know how annoying it is to have someone screaming in their mind and oh sorry about Tim he has a song stuck in his head we can have him go further into the innerworld so its quieter for you, they do this without help or training from the telepath, whos shocked cuz everyone needs a few tips to keep theyre secrets from them yet they can do it without any help at all, they have practice after all, hiding surprises from each other, (hiding pranks too) the first ever person to manage to surprise them with a gift, jaw dropping surprise they have no idea how the system did it but they did (just kept it locked away in the inner world, someone pointedly didnt know what it was or made themself forget presented it) they dont fear the telepath the first ever to not hold any fear of their powers not because they can hide without question (tho that does help with some things) no but BECAUSE they can hear their mind, because they can hear the other voices too the telepath can laugh at the jokes the others make that they cant quite explain to a non telepath because the joke wasnt made in words but vibes and pictures, because the telepath can understand them better because they have multiple thought types and communication is hard as fuck normally a telepath thats unsettled by the innerworld only because they know what it means they do know DID and they know how its most often formed but cant help but be impressed at the organization of the mind and feeling sick because of it all knowing they didnt put conscious work into it like non systems would have to do rapid switching is like whiplash and telepaths have no idea how the system is still standing??? but theyre still carrying on a conversation like nothing is happening (i just think this one is funny)

another into the mind: a system so excited to have their telepath friend/partner to dive into their innerworld so they can show them how everyone looks so they can see the differences proper and a system being able to still walk around and do things when the telepath dived into their mind where most would "go to sleep" and be down for the count until they re-surfaced but instead someone else just took front (we're specifically thinking of DC for this one and the Martian Manhunter mainly cuz i think there was a time they had to have him do a dive in on another hero taking them both out mid battle however that may also just be his memories and not actually canon im not bothering to fact check him rn) (unsurprisingly our in system telepaths have a lot to give on this topic) a system learning telepathy and they develop headmates that just steal the abilty and others find they just cant no matter how hard they try (Charles Xavier has submitted this and is laughing at Erik Lehnsherr so im guessing this is aimed at him) we have run out of brain cells to send more thoughts (for now)

[rand0mfangurlstuff]

Sing Yourself to Sleep - Bucky x Y/N - Part Eight - Unfaithful.

Just a short chapter to get me back into the swing of writing. I'm sorry this took so long. Between life and feeling somewhat uninspired, I struggled with this. But i think I know where this story is going now. I'll probably wrap it up in two or three chapters. Feedback is always welcome! Inspired by Rihanna's Unfaithful.

It had been two weeks since their magical weekend in London, where they had both confessed their love in the throws of passion. Since then they hadn't been able to spend much time together. It was quick hellos while passing eachother or the odd two minute conversation in the mess hall. Bucky missed those moments in London where he could hold her. Where he could openly kiss her cheek, wrap his arm around her while walking through the streets. He missed being able to unabashedly stare at her in all her beauty.

Seeing her with Colonel Clarke made his mind angry and his heart ache. Seeing them walk hand in hand to the officers club and watching as the Colonel kissed her made his blood boil and his eyes sting with unshed tears. It should be me. He thought. Its supposed to be me.

It was a Friday night and the party in the officers club was in full swing. Bucky sat in the corner with Buck and DeMarco, printing his whiskey and brooding.

'Whats wrong with you?' Buck questioned.

'Nothing.' he replied without looking up from his glass.

'Bull. You're in a sour mood and have been for days.' Buck looked around to make sure nobody was listening before whispering 'Has something happened with Y/N?'

'No nothings happened. Thats the problem. I havent seen her properly since we came back from London.' Bucky said. He looked like a pouty child, not a grown man. Buck would have laughed if he wasnt worried about his friend.

'Well her and the Colonel just arrived. Why don't you ask her to dance again?'

'Are you really encouraging me?' Bucky questioned. He knew Buck was disapproving of his affair.

'I'm not happy about any of this. But if a dance, just a dance, puts a smile on your beak then go for it.' Buck said, the sterness of his voice clear.

Bucky approached the table where Y/N and the Colonel sat, noticing how close the two sat together with the Colonel's hand on Y/N's lap made him want to punch him.

'Ah Major Egan!' the Colonel said upon noticing him, 'You just cant get enough of dancing with my wife?' he said. Before Bucky could answer he continued 'Well you're just in time, my lovely wife was just starting to get restless, can't have her sitting down too long, she demands to dance!' he laughed.

'Well I am always there for a lady in need.' Bucky held out his hand. 'May I have this dance?'

Y/N looked nervous, she looked between Bucky and the Colonel, before taking Bucky's hand. They walked to the middle of the dance floor and started to dance to the music. Bucky spun Y/N around until her back was against his chest. He took the moment to question her.

'I've barely seen you lately. Whats up?'

Y/N spun back out to face him before he pulled her closer. 'Nothing's up. I just don't want anyone getting suspicious.' She spun back out in a twirl.

'You could at least say you've missed me doll.' Bucky said as she twirled in the opposite direction, once again having her back to his chest.

'Of course I've missed you.' she said. She was looking around making sure nobody was paying too much attention to them. Bertie was talking with some other men, his back to the dancefloor. She tried to twirl herself away from him again, but he held on to her tightly.

'I told you I loved you, and you said it back. And then we get back here and its like it never happened.' Bucky wished he could wisk her off to a quiet corner somewhere to have this conversation, but this was his only opportunity.

Y/N finally broke free of his strong arms. She spun herself out away from him, he quickly pulled her back in. 'Albert knows.' she said in a hushed and panicked tone.

'What?!' Bucky almost gasped. 'How? What did he say? Why hasnt he shot me yet?' Bucky looked in the direction of the Colonel, he looked very calm for someone who's wife was having an affair.

'He hasnt said anything, but he's acting strange. I'm sure he knows.' Y/N replied. She did her best to keep it look like they were dancing and having fun.

'So you're not actually sure he knows?' he breathed a sigh of relief. 'Y/N its fine, he doesnt know. You think he'd let me dance with you? Let me live if he knew?'

'You don't know Albert. He plays the long game. I'm scared he's planning something.' she said, he bottom lip between her teeth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Colonel Albert Clarke was not a stupid man. Dull, possibly. Maybe a bit old fashioned. But he wasnt stupid. He noticed the difference in Mrs. Y/N Clarke fairly quickly. It wasn't an obvious change, only someone who knew Y/N extremely well, someone who had been married to her for the past five years, would notice. It was the way she was wearing extra perfume these days. The way she seemed to be quickly running out of lipstick. The way she suddenly became so excited to go to the officers club, a place she previously had no real draw to. But mostly, it was her smile. The smile she used to give to him in the early days of their relationship. The smile that showed all of her beautiful sparkly white teeth. The smile that reached all the way to her eyes which made them crease in the corners. She had the ability to bewitch anyone with that beautiful, heart warming smile. He hadn't seen it in a while, perhaps in over a year. But he was seeing it again, pointed at Major John 'Bucky' Egan.

The Major was a nice man, a bit cocky perhaps. But he was a good soldier dedicated to his Country and his men. Even the Colonel could admit he was also handsome. Albert understood while Y/N would be attracted to him. But there was something else to it. He was certain that Y/N had come across many attractive men since their marraige, but he was certain this was the first time she had been unfaithful.

Whatever spell Major Egan had his wife under, Albert was certain he could not compete with it. He was older, not half as attractive, and he didn't have that secret ingreedient that made his wife fall in love with the Major in the first place.

She was definitely in love. She wouldn't have an affair with just anyone. Because despite it all, Albert knew that Y/N was a good woman. Respectible. Kind. She would only do this to him if there was really no other option. He loved his wife. He loved her faults and all. He was and always would be greatful for the love and support she gave to him over the last five years. Which is why when she and Egan went to dance at the club, he looked away. Moved his chair so his back was to the dancefloor. He did his best to engage in ocnversation with the men sitting near him, pretending what was happening behind him wasn't happening at all.

--------------------------------------------------

The following morning at the mess hall, Y/N was placing some breakfast muffins on a tray when Bucky came up to her. 'I think you dropped this Mrs. Clarke.'

Y/N spun round and was about to tell him she didnt drop anything. Then she saw the note in his hand. 'Thank you Major.'

It wasn't until she was back in the kitchen that she unfolded the note.

Meet me at our spot. Where we first started marching. 2pm. I'll be waiting. -B

Marching? Keep marching on. Their first conversation. After Curt died, where she encouraged him to keep going. She smiled at the memory, suprised he had remembered. He must know that Albert had a meeting at 2pm. She tucked the note into her bra and carried on serving breakfast. She smiled the who way through the breakfast rush, thinking of Bucky.

[playingitup]

Hey, has anyone here ever seen a Percy Jackson or Harry Potter crossover with My Hero Academia?

Like

Percy getting sent by Poseidon as a child to this alternate universe so he will be safe from the prophecy (probably after Sally dies, ik y'all like the dead mom plot), but said universe just so happens to be full of superpowers.

Bonus points if he has this super sketchy backstory ("yeah, when i was four my mom got killed by this guy with a bull mutation, my dad showed up and brought me here, i remember thinking he was very imposing, like the heroes on the tv" I cant make it sound like it does in my head, but placed in a way that it seems like Percy's dad may possibly be AfO just to give All Might a scare) and doesn't know shit about not being a normal quirked guy (cue to him being able to A) manipulate water B) talk to fishes C) talk to horses D) heal through water E) cause minor earthquakes when upset).

Or, alternatively,

Master of Death Harry Potter, who gets reborn or sent by Death to this universe, either to be a savior again, to find a good family or purely for the ancient entity's amusement. Anyway, he gets attached. And since BAMF MoD Harry Potter is awesome, he becomes a vigilante or a hero student and just wipes the floor with everyone using wandless magic and saying his quirk is some kind of energy manipulation. Going near Midoryia and being like "why tf are seven ghosts hanging around your head? That's creepy"

Or even Nico di Angelo ones

Where Hades sent him there or he found a new form of shadow travel and stuck around for a while, liking the superhero theme, when he realizes that there is someone out there (AfO) using fragments of peoples souls for evil, without consent and to create braindead zombies that really shouldn't exist. This 14yo accidentally becoming a vigilante whilst trying to find the big bad and make sure he gets what he deserves. Aizawa finding him. Semi adoption shenanigans. "I am not going to a hero school, I don't even know basic math" "yes you are, and you will". Todoroki thinking Nico is Aizawas secret lovechild. Nezu and All Might thinking his father is AfO because of his very passionate "theory" that his quirk works by splitting a part of the soul and mimicking the genes after it, much like his own that permits him to raise the dead and command souls

Anyways, please can someone recommend me anything among these lines? Or write it if you want to, I don't have that capacity. Please. I'm begging.

[steluan]

i squeaked so hard i scared my dad OMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMGOGMGMOMG GUYS ITS FINALLY HAPPENING SHE LOOKS SO COOL GRRRRRRR

cant wait for the next episode aaaaa

she looks so badass ughhhh but the thing is, even if it makes the scene super cool you gotta wonder "yeah i know shes a magical being, can barely be considered a human, but how does she know how to control such power easily?" i feel like im nitpicking cuz i mean elle-chan is literally a miracle child right? at least from what i remember. a child who does miracles and brings happiness and stuff but this? this isnt really a miracle its a person who really knows how to fight (sorta...) thats something you gotta learn...

uh idk idk shes super cool but i feel like she should have struggled more lmaooo or what would be very cool would be that maybe... elle-chan has always been a pretty cure but didnt know how to get back to her cure form before that episode? which makes her a REALLY old soul that put up fights before, which is the reason how she could 'fight' so well here maybe the fact that shes a reincarnation was already said before (probs did but i totally forgot lmaoo), but honestly i like the idea that she's the reincarnation of a precure and she still remembers how to fight smth like that or something that i'd like to see in future episodes would be her struggling to really control her powers. like we saw her throw immense energy at skearhead (i absolutely love him and his design) here, but maybe thats all she can really do. what if she learns to vary her attacks over the show? control how much energy to throw at her enemies? things like that. I dont want cure majesty to be a skilled fighter without any explanations why.

but anyways overall pretty good episode cant wait for cure majesty to officially join the gang! :D

[littlesilentrebel]

percy and annabeth in my species au!

this is an au where all the demigods are species that i created for my own universe!

annabeth is an amarin, and perch is a nerosa!

amarins- very tall beings, only get taller as they get older, have 4 forearms that are connected at the elbow, are basically immortal unless killed usikg syrylthian metals are on their native planet, endwarp. they dont feel temperature and have magic (idk what annabeths power would be tho-)

nerosa- sea creatures whose hair is made out of water and changes color to the nearest and largest body of water, they are extremely short and most dont go over 5ft. theyre also skinnier and stronger than humans. their life force is also connected to the water, and if theyre too far away them they will pass out and can die if they dont get near it soon enough (percy being a nerosa and the child of poseidon makes this 10x as much, and so he cant be 50+ miles away from the ocean without passing out. someone carries him when this happens when annabeth isnt there)

the time this drawing takes place is during ttc, where they are both 14

percy also doesnt get claimed by poseidon (for safety reasons and bc i love that trope) amd instead is sent on the quest because hes the newest nerosa since zeus doesnt like them, and also because other gods, some non-water gods included, also have nerosa children at times

[hermesserpent-stuff]

spoilers for seidr iron ice for loki thoughts specifically so i dont forget. up to change lol

so i have a scene i want to write and am waiting a bit for were loki gets captured by laufey (leader of frost giants) to be used as a baraning chip with frigga to get his own son returned from asgard, not knowing loki is his child.

when capture happen loki still cant speak and his fox is destroyed. Quentin is there but there is a solid moment of him panicking over his throat being touched due to chameleon ~ trauma ~

loki has to deal with not being able to speak and asking for a chance to help Quentin without words. i think if i do it good enough, it can be a chance for loki to sacrifice pride to help someone else.

Moving on, they end up in the prisons and quentin is still trying to break the bindings. despite the anti-magic wards on the cell.

and then after breaking the binding magic explodes into loki's veins. similar to how harry got burned out. and thus the thing keeping loki's skin looking like a aesir shatters. and in a cell with quentin, in the bitter cold of jotunheim loki thinks he is a monster. And Quentin has to convince him to both calm down and that he is still worthwhile. it takes a bit.

laufey eventually is there and im still figuring out that bit. but in a dream i had i got the lines:

I am not loki of asgurd. I am not loki of Jotunheim. I am Loki of midgard.

so theres that.

also theres the whole true name/ omen name thing that has to be dealt with. Cause Laufey did not name his kid loki. but also loki is not gonna call himself something other than loki.

im not sure where laufey lands on the parent meter. Im leaning towards good parent who prolly doesn't want loki to leave the same day that he finds he is his son. but I'm not sure how to have it not be another kidnapping thing. ah well. i got time to dwell.

[biohazard-inevitable]

Be more unnormal tell me more about Wendy I love a wild child, how old was she when she died? How did she die? What afterlife did she end up in if any at all?

I love her too she is absolutely woodsy feral Jasiker had to pick a literal squirrel nest out of her hair once because she desided to nap in a tree one fall she almost always had bruises dirt mud and leaves all over her all the time.

Also TW ahead for disturbing depictions fo death

She was 12 when she died, close to her 13th as Jasiker didnt take long to try and use magic he was unfamiliar with to try and get her back, though it still took a few months of him studying abyssal and infernal to be able to make out the incantation to summon Xadian in the first place.

Jasiker had summoned xadian for help and, with xadian being a demon he had to make a contract. Jasiker asked that he wanted to “see my sister again at least one more time” but the incantation wasnt quite powerful enough to keep xadian’s full form in the mortal realm, so jasiker allowed him to posess his body to help get his sister back.

Using jasiker’s body, Xadian slaughtered many of the king’s forces, eventually leading up to finding where wendy was being kept. Jasiker did in fact see his sister agin, but it was the last time he would as he wasnt careful with his wording, and using jasiker’s body, Xadian killed Wendy while Jasiker could do nothing but look on as his body moved without his input and when he finally regained control, her blood was on his hands and he blamed himself for everything that had happened, while Xadian decided to refuse to leave his body and see just how long they would last together.

As for what afterlife wendy may or may not have ended up in, that is for a future campaign to decide~ I really liked building her as a story peice for jasiker’s tragedy, and I would love to play as her in a oneshot that takes place in a sort of limbo afterlife and see how she reacts to all that. All i know is she doesnt blame her brother for what happened. She could just tell by thr eyes that her brother wasnt in control and I cant wait to fiddle with that story idea sometime for a possible campaign where she swears vengance on the demon who stole her brother.

[soul-dwelling]

Maybe it's just because of my personal views, but I wish Ohkubo would have maybe subverted his whole "God is just human imagination/subconsiousness" thing in the end, cause the thing he did seems just very standard for manga (heck Berserk did that in the late 80s with the idea of evil). Like it was teased that Arthurs father was an actuall prophet, and he wasnt really involved with the white clad. Maybe leave it ambigious that maybe sometimes mirracles happen that cant really be explained? Idk

In theory, I don’t mind an author pursuing “God is the totally of humanity’s imagination.” It’s very transcendental, oversoul kind of stuff. It’s “Sympathy for the Devil” kind of talk, that what humans consider God and the Devil is just manifesting whatever good or bad we see in ourselves, a way to excuse ourselves from saving ourselves or from our own responsibility for harming ourselves. 

It just isn’t the story Ohkubo was telling. 

I do think ambiguity would help here. I’m going to end up talking about how I wish some things were more concrete in Fire Force (how did the Tabernacle get there, why does it resemble Amaterasu). But the metaphysical, the philosophical, the allegorical? Leave that stuff vague to perpetuate discussion and let this text mean more than one thing, rather than just one thing. Religion is rarely just one thing, one message--we have multiple denominations of religions not only due to humans bickering but also because ethics vary, meanings vary. 

So, sure, yeah, let Arthur’s dad just be a prophet, that’s fine. The story is silly enough, you’re not breaking anything by just letting some things just happen because they happen. I know, I want the Amaterasu and Tabernacle stuff explained--but I also don’t need everything about pyrokinetic abilities, weapon transformations, and why the Sun and the Moon are like that explained: after how badly Fire Force turned out, I have learned that lesson, just let some things be vague. 

Plus, Soul Eater in canon has gods. Like, not just Lord Death. One Soul Eater audio drama had Poseidon--does Fire Force now retcon that, or did Shinra somehow create literally Poseidon? Tezca Tlipoca may not be the same literal god Tezcatlipoca--but isn’t it fun to imagine that he may be? I thought Soul Eater was more interesting that these gods just existed because; I didn’t need an explanation that saps some of that magic by saying, “First there was our godless real world, then an apocalypse that made everything into a 2D cartoon, then an edgy teenager made the Soul Eater universe because he saw a woman in a cloak and skull stuff on his commander and his teammate and this guy who tortured him as a child.” So, if the gods existed anyway, sure, let a prophet exist. 

(Again, I speak as an agnostic, but giving me a story that says, in our real world, all religions are bullshit, hence the Evangelist just tapped into belief systems to fashion their own religion to trick people, then have Shinra make Lord Death as the primary god? Again, agnostic here, but I find this offensive--it discounts all religions just to make a story that says, “Nah-uh, the fictional religion I make in my fictional story is the only real religion!” …Then just make Soul Eater without the prequel, literally no one was thinking somehow other religions were made invalid because Lord Death was walking around. Hell, various religions didn’t get voided in Marvel Comics just because Thor, Hercules, Jack Kirby as the Abrahamic God, and other deities were walking around.)

[777erendipity]

tonight has been tough. i wish today wouldn’t of happened. i have too much shit going in in my life. i feel like im running away from everything. from heartbreak and grief and sadness. and i do a good job at running from it and keeping up. i slap a smile on my face and keep trudging despite the cards ive been dealt. but every once in awhile, it catches up to me. and it all crashes on me. i felt it in the back of my throat at work and i shoved it down because i still had 10 hours left. i got home and smoked. i listened to “think of me once and awhile” by take care and “moonlight on the river” by mac demarco back and fourth on repeat for an hour. its the first time ive been able to cry in awhile.

i really miss my mom. she’d know what to say. i know i speak of her like she’s dead but she’s not. but she isn’t really here either. sometimes i want to believe that this is just a short period of her life and she’ll get better but this is our future. where she’s at right now is how things will be for the rest of her life. i know it’s my fault that these things happened. everybody will say im wrong but i know it is. i want her to hold me like a child. i’m tired of being the strong one here. i wish i could of enjoyed being taken care of by her for longer.

i want so badly to run back. i don’t know how he could of ever thought that we just broke up and i just didn’t care. i showed through that entire relationship that i cared deeply. i want how things were but i know that’s just looking at things through rose colored glasses. things weren’t good. yeah did we have one good day like every two weeks? yes. and it was magical and wonderful and at that time, even though i wanted so much more, i settled for some of him than none because i didn’t know how to live without him. i love waking up each day and not feeling like im getting cheated on. i love not having to compare myself to other women. or to keep bumping down my standards to stay in love. i love not having to depend on someone to give me the bare minimum like “hi how are you doing?”. it’s freeing. i didn’t realize how broken i was til i was out. i want to run back but i cant. i can’t go back to feeling so worthless. not when i know i deserve better and there’s better out there for me. my future is shaky and unstable and i need someone supporting me by my side, not against me and borderline hating me. it pisses me off how mad he is that i’m slightly moving on. he fucked with so many other women through our relationship whether he’ll admit to all of it or not. i never cheated once. he didn’t want anything to do with me those last couple months. and i just stayed there and waited like a dog just for him to tell me that he’s moving away for good and he’s mad that after we have broken up, im hanging around “the idiot in the white truck”? give me a break and go run off to one of your 35,847 fwbs. but i know i shouldn’t be saying all of that. i wanted to really start not being such a cunt and holding grudges but here we are.

i know the only way i’d go back is that my brain got wiped from that last year and he was a completely different person. even if he did do all the things he said he would last week and change completely. that doesn’t erase the past. even when things were going good, all the things that he had done still weighed on my heart because of how much it hurt. i was hoping it’d go away but i realize now when someone breaks you like that? you can’t look at them the same. so the love is still there but its confusing because you don’t know how you can give something so precious of yours to a person that could care so little about you. that’s why i know there won’t be a future with us. i try not to think about it because it hurts but it’s been on my mind all day. parts of me mourn it and other parts are like “girl why tf are you getting all sad over a dude who said you were asking for too much when you wanted to see him when your mom was in the hospital???”. i hate how he’s talking about things that he wanted to do. all the things that i wanted that entire year that he never gave me, now he wants to give me? i call bull. why was i appreciated so late? anyways i’m exhausted. i worked for 11 straight hours with no breaks. all i got is a red bull and vape in my system which isn’t really agreeing well with me. i have another long day tomorrow. i gonna call my mom and just sit with the sound of her breathing for awhile, it’ll feel like she’s closer to me that way.

[infizero]

pokespe reread: ruby & sapphire chapter - closing thoughts! 🔴🔵

i've finally reached the end of the ruby & sapphire.... im now gonna start from the beginning and work my way back up to FRLG like i said i would!

first though, some overall thoughts!!

(also im gonna say right off the bat that i am only talking strictly ruby & sapphire here, not anything that happens in ORAS - i'll get to THAT when i get there. eventually - or any other arcs)

ok first off i said i would talk about the way the narrative portrays norman once i had finished the whole arc. and now that i have.... yup its basically as i had already been feeling as i read. they dont know wtf they're doing with norman. sometimes it feels like they're so obviously portraying him as a threat and a bad person, but they just cannot accept that and keep trying to make him sympathetic.

and i dont think that giving norman more layers as a character is a bad thing! but you can just tell that when you learn that norman WAS going to give ruby permission to do contests before he ran away, or how norman gave up his shot at being a gym leader to pay for ruby's childish mistake, the intent is not to add layers to an otherwise unredeemable character. the intent is for the reader to go "oh, he's not so bad after all! he actually IS a good dad!"

and thats. i mean i dont think i need to describe why thats horrible. the way norman treated ruby is unforgivable and he is NOT a character that should be so easily redeemed. they cant even portray his abuse without downplaying it!! like how do you depict norman beating his 11 year old child up in such horrible upsetting detail and then immediately have the other characters in the story undermine it and go "aww hes not such a bad dad after all!" RIGHT AFTER SAID ABUSE! it doesnt matter that norman was going to give ruby permission, it doesnt matter that he sacrificed for ruby when he was younger, none of that matters when its put up against norman BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF RUBY! (and like i already said in my norman analysis post, even the contest permission thing isnt that good of a deed bcuz it doesnt come with any actual change in behavior from norman)

all that to say, a very clearly abusive father is depicted here and yet the narrative is dead set on trying to make you think that his abuse isnt that bad and that hes actually a good guy deep down. which is just frankly gross and i really wish it had been handled better.

secondly, i already said this but oh my god the thing with celebi is so fucking stupid. like this isnt even cause i want norman to have stayed dead, this is just objectively a stupid writing decision. you have these characters die and add so much drama and stakes to the story, and then at the last moment you reveal that ruby SOMEHOW had caught celebi back in johto and just???? had it with him THIS ENTIRE TIME and it never came up once?

and everything just magically gets fixed and the consequences of that are just not addressed. this is just bad writing im sorry. it happens so quickly and so nonsensically it instantly makes everything that happened feel so much less consequential.

and to be clear the problem isnt that it was solved with magic! this is pokemon after all lmao. the problem is that celebi was not set up AT ALL in the story. there was absolutely NO BASIS for this reveal so it feels completely random and like a terrible deus ex machina. needless to say in my personal canon this does not happen and everyone who died just stays dead lol. (maybe not steven. we'll see once i revisit ORAS, if he really needs to be alive then i can make an exception and just say he doesnt die in the first place here. but norman and courtney at the very least gotta stay dead like cmon man)

third, here are my thoughts on how the narrative portrays ruby and sapphire's gender nonconformity overall (again, STRICTLY IN R&S) which ive been waiting to talk about!

i'll first say that i was nervous the whole time since i couldnt really remember how things were by the end, but im actually pleasantly surprised! i do have some criticisms which i'll go ahead and get out of the way first.

first of all, there is some weirdness with how sapphire is portrayed. most of the time she is tough and masculine but they occasionally hamfist in these moments where she's like "hey but i am a GIRL yknow. i can like cute things and have crushes and stuff" and it just feels. off

like im not SAYING that sapphire cant also have SOME interest in traditionally feminine things. but the way it's presented can make it feel a little like sapphire is really a "normal" (feminine) girl underneath it all and that her toughness and masculinity are all just a front. i dont think thats true and from the way they portray her other times i dont think that is supposed to be the takeaway. but it can feel like that sometimes

like it definitely feels like in contrast to ruby, they were scared to make sapphire TOO masculine without giving her certain traditional markers of femininity. yes she's like this but also look she's squealing over her crush on ruby! she is still a GIRL after all!

this can be seen as well in her appearance - while i love her fangs and wild expressions, she is still depicted as this pretty feminine looking girl. she's skinny and fairly curvy, she's got long pretty eyelashes, she wears a short skirt, etc etc. (yes ik ruby made those clothes for her but on a meta level that IS what she has been chosen to wear. and i also know that they have to use the gameverse designs BELIEVE ME I KNOW. im just commenting on it)

and again irl none of this really matters ppl can do whatever they want gender-wise and presentation-wise. but this, being a story and all, is a conscious decision to create this character this way, which might i add was made by men. sapphire is remarkably brash and masculine and i dont want to undermine that, but it really feels like they were too scared to really go all the way and not add little "oh but shes still feminine in this way of course" disclaimers throughout the story

another negative is that, while i do love ruby and sapphire's backstory, it does come with the unfortunate side effect of once again calling their gender nonconformity's genuineness into question.

having ruby and sapphire be a traditionally masculine little boy and a traditionally feminine little girl when they were kids, with seemingly no qualms about this, can make it feel like those are their "true selves" and that their gender nonconformity was ENTIRELY just bcuz of their trauma. as in, sapphire is ONLY masculine bcuz she wanted to get strong enough to protect herself and others, and deep down she actually is a feminine girl; ruby is ONLY feminine bcuz he was scared of hurting others with his strength, and deep down he actually is a masculine boy.

now this isnt actually true, and the narrative shows us this since in the little epilogue they're still acting in their usual gnc ways. but it does sow an unfortunate seed of doubt in the mind of the reader that really doesnt need to be there.

but with that out of the way lemme show some love for the positives of ruby and sapphire's portrayal bcuz i just love these guys so much

first of all, it's never even so much as implied that ruby doesnt ACTUALLY like contests or sapphire doesnt ACTUALLY like battling. if the intended narrative really was that it was all a front post-trauma and they're actually gender-conforming deep inside, then this wouldn't be the case.

secondly, im really happy that the story ends with reaffirming these things about them!! by the end ruby is decorating sapphire's cave, fawning over cute plushies with his signature Gayass Face, and bragging about his skills brushing pokemon. and sapphire is still battling, running around with her dirty pokemon, and rolling her eyes at ruby's decor. this IS who they are. ruby IS feminine and sapphire IS masculine. the narrative does not let you think otherwise by the end

third of all, i just really appreciate them being portrayed like this at all. like i said sapphire's depiction could have been played a lot less safe, but she still is a pretty masculine character and she embodies a lot of qualities that werent rlly common for these characters at the time. she's freakishly strong, she's brash, and she's constantly running around being a hero to everyone she meets, in contrast to ruby not really fitting the label of hero at all (at least until the end)

and ruby is just so overtly feminine and well. queer. it's still astounding to me. ive said before, i obviously dont agree with everything kusaka's ever done, but i will always thank him for fighting against the editors to let pokemon have such a feminine male protagonist. that really means a lot, esp back in 2002!

ruby is a very flawed character (i mean that in a good way!) and it can sometimes feel like the narrative is laughing at him a bit, but at the same time he IS the protagonist and you are supposed to sympathize with him. and like i said before, there is never any reveal that actually ruby DOESNT like these feminine things and he was just forcing himself to after the salamence incident.

he just IS feminine, even by the end of the story after all his character development. that part of him is never depicted as something that he would be better off without, that's just who he is! even after beginning to battle again. and i appreciate that!

alright and finally. just some notes on how ruby and sapphire's romance is portrayed. i've already said a lot of this but i wanted to repeat it here

basically, OVERALL i like how their romance is written. i love franticshipping, i think they're so cute and i love how they've got the whole opposites attract, enemies to lovers thing going on

i think kusaka overall does a good job of showing them starting to care more about each other in a way that feels well written, but then sometimes he just throws in some stupid cliche fanfiction bullshit that completely disrupts the slow burn going on.

the perfect example of this is the scene where sapphire rushes into granite cave to save ruby:

the way that she just instantly bolts into danger without thinking the second she realizes hes in trouble already tells you SO MUCH about how far their relationship has come and how much she cares about him, just on its own.

but then kusaka apparently decides that this isnt enough and he needs to really make it obvious, so he slaps in this weird moment that feels really off tone-wise:

like this is a dangerous situation! its tense! being treated seriously! and then all of the sudden we're hit with this comedic cliche little "it's not like i like him or anything!!1!" moment that just feels really forced. esp since brawly literally just called ruby a friend of hers. i'd take sapphire getting embarrassed/defensive at ruby being called for her friend, but there is no reason she needs to just flat out go "it's not like i have a BIG FAT CRUSH ON HIM!!" like girl. no one was saying that. what are you exposing yourself for 😭

this happens a couple other times where these random moments of making it extremely obvious that ruby and sapphire like each other are unnecessarily inserted into their otherwise slowburn romance. and it just doesnt need to be there man. the story would be much better off without these moments, if we JUST got the subtle displays of care, some blushing, etc leading up to the eventual confession. like that just makes it so much more engaging!! rather than just straight up telling the audience "they like each other!" like ik this IS for kids but damn bro cmon let me figure that out myself with my brain 😭

i also think that ruby forcefully preventing sapphire from helping him save the world near the end should have had more attention drawn to it. like ik he was just trying to protect her but i think sapphire should've been allowed to get mad at him for that!! at the very least i think it should've been brought up in the aftermath and ruby should've apologized or something. it just feels like sapphire's agency was totally stripped from her in the climax of the story and because it's never addressed, the narrative basically says that there was nothing wrong with ruby doing this.

(hmm wow ruby ignoring sapphire's agency and doing things "for her own good" without actually consulting her? that feels..... familiar........

oh god. it's right behind me isn't it

ACK. BACK FOUL DEMON. it's not your time..... not yet....)

but yes, other than these moments, i think their romance is well-written. they are just sooooo freaking cute i love them so so much. this arc may not be flawless (none of them are lol) but it did give the world charmer ruby and conqueror sapphire so. let's end on that.

overall i really enjoyed rereading thru ruby & sapphire with a new perspective now that im older, and i cant wait to do so with the rest of pokespe!!!

see you all next time for whenever i finish rereading RGB!