#*cough* you know who you are you shithead

[ask-north]

Happy Valentines Day!!

Reminder: The truest form of love doesn't have to be romantic it can be 100% platonic, so don't forget to remind your friends you love them and that they mean the world to you!! Have a wonderful day and remember you still matter even without a significant other to celebrate today with!

[rcmclachlan]

"Everyone at Harbor was... very concerned."

"Attention, all channels: Please be advised, a team from the coroner's office and biohazard removal specialists have been dispatched to LAFD Station 118 for the removal of human remains."

It takes a second for the words "Station 118" to penetrate the thick atmosphere of concentration and rage that Tommy's been floating on while he tries fruitlessly to sweet talk the Bell 505 into accepting the new safety wires he's been trying to install for the last half hour, but the second they do, he tosses down the needle-nosed pliers in his hand and makes a bee-line for the radio sitting between Dana, Nico, and the unpeeled tangerine Nico's eating like an apple.

"Did they say human remains?" Tommy's already reaching into his pocket for his phone, then curses under his breath when he remembers it's sitting in the cockpit of the Bell. He glances across the hangar and gauges the distance. He can probably get to it in ten seconds if he sprints.

"Shut up," Dana says as she turns the volume dial up.

"Be aware that crowd control has also been sent to clear the area. If you are called to an emergency scene in the general vicinity of Station 118, you are advised to avoid Gale Avenue and the surrounding streets until further notice."

"A kid was probably trick-or-treating and found someone's grandma who'd kicked it like a week ago." Nico takes an unconcerned bite of his tangerine, because there's something severely wrong with him as a person. "It's probably nothing."

"That's not nothing?" Tommy looks at Dana for help, but she just heaves a sigh and gives a long-suffering flick of her fingers in Nico's general direction. Which, honestly? Fair.

"They said the remains were at the 118," she muses, pulling out her phone and scrolling through with her thumb, not a single movement wasted. "No one there ever gave off a serial killer vibe—I'm not counting that little blond shithead from a few years ago—so I'm chalking it up to a good old-fashioned misunderstanding."

Nico coughs around a bite of tangerine, rind and all, and Dana doesn't so much as glance his way while she slams a fist into his back. To the casual observer, it probably looks like they're rehearsing some slapstick routine, but every member of the 217 knows that the second Nico gets his hands on any kind of foodstuff, he's immediately seven or eight seconds away from death.

They've had to perform the Heimlich nine times this week alone, and it's only Thursday. He keeps meaning to ask Howie if it's possible to survive solely on IV fluids, but he has a sneaking suspicion that Nico would just manage to choke himself out with the tubing.

Tommy shakes his head in disbelief. "Nico, I'm begging you: chew your food. Or, like, peel the rind off first."

"Every part of the animal, my man," Nico trills cheerfully, wiping his mouth. There are orange bits stuck in his teeth.

Holding up a hand, Dana taps her phone with her thumb, her neon green nail—filed to a point so sharp it might actually violate the contract they all signed about not bringing weapons into the workplace—clacking against the screen. The sound of a calling dialing out filters through the speakers and it only takes two rings before someone picks up.

"You good, Dana?"

"Hey Mohini, I'm fine," Dana says with a small uptick to the corners of her mouth that could be almost be described as kind, and just seeing it makes Tommy's skin crawl a little. He glances at Nico, who has stopped trying to kill himself via citrus fruit and looks every bit as disturbed as Tommy feels. The last time Dana smiled, it was right before she launched herself at the asshole who told them to take their time rescuing his stepkid from the fire that was consuming the cabin his family had rented for the weekend.

They saved the kid, and the guy was too shit-scared of Dana to even consider suing her or the department for his broken jaw. He was also dealing with a sudden divorce.

The ex-stepkid writes to Dana every month. Tommy can't prove it, but he thinks he once saw her throw an envelope with the kid's name and address into the outgoing mail pile, and he's also too shit-scared of Dana to bring it up.

Dana catches his gaze and he mouths, who even are you?

She flips him off, which honestly does wonders to assuage his fears of her being possibly possessed.

"What's up, girl?"

"We heard the APB just now. What's going on with the 118?"

"What isn't going on with the 118?" Mohini laughs a little, crackling over the line. "From what I've heard, Firefighter Buckley bought a mummy for the Trunk or Treat thing they put on every year. A real one."

Startled, Tommy looks at the phone in Dana's hand and asks, very slowly, "He bought a corpse?"

Tommy can feel Dana's pointed stare on the side of his face, mostly because his skin is starting to sear, but Tommy can't do anything but stare at the phone and try to process that one. And he just can't. Every time he tries, the smell of burnt toast gets stronger.

"Honestly, I'm not even surprised. We've been overdue for a Buckley-related call. I mean, it's been two months since the last one. Remember the thing with the HVAC unit on Sunset?"

He barely remembers that Buckley-related call, but he does remember the one from three nights ago in great detail, which ended with him rimming Evan until he cried and then fucking his brains out. Apparently Evan forgot to put them back in before he bought a dead body to use as a Halloween decoration.

Blowing out a breath, Tommy turns on his heel, jogs over to the Bell, and grabs his phone from the pilot's seat.

Evan, are you okay? Dispatch said something about an incident at the 118, he texts, deliberately vague. He's been told once or twice that his texting tone can sometimes border on an interrogation, which is bullshit, because texting doesn't have a tone, but he doesn't want to be an asshole when he knows Evan's probably beyond humiliated about this.

Plus, Evan doesn't necessarily know that Tommy knows about the mummy. It'll be much better if he has the opportunity to tell Tommy on his own terms.

<< omw 2 the hospital. im ok!

Or he could just be incredibly Evan about it.

>> What happened?! Do you want me to meet you there? I can leave right now.

<< Awwww <3 Eddie going 2 meet me there. Come by l8r?

>> As soon as my shift ends, I promise. Are you sure you're okay?

<< disloc8ed shoulder

Evan literally had to go to a different keyboard to find the 8. Tommy hates how hard he's falling for this ridiculous person.

>> I'll fly there if I have to. Text or call me anytime, okay?

<< :-) :-) :-)

It's three smiley faces. It's nothing, and yet something inside him eases, turns three times, and curls up with a pleased purr.

Since he left the 118 and decided to finally live the life he'd spent his life refusing to allow himself to have, he's dated four people, Evan included. What he feels when he looks at those smiley faces is more than what he felt about the other three people combined. It's both terrifying and exhilarating. He never put stock in the whole 'there's someone for everyone' thing Sal's wife likes to throw around, but then he threw caution to the wind and kissed a beautiful, babbling man silent, and in the weeks that have followed his life seems so much more than he ever imagined it could be.

He has no idea how any of this is going to shake out, and chances are he's going to screw this up spectacularly, but he taps his finger gently to the middle smiley face and hopes Sal's wife is onto something. Maybe there really could be someone for him. Maybe that someone texts like a twelve-year old.

Rolling his eyes at himself, Tommy sends back a single smiley face and pockets his phone. And then immediately takes it back out and sends like five more, because he's pathetic.

Dana and Nico are right where he left them, and as soon as he gets close, Nico sits up and levels him with an expectant look.

"Are they gonna shitcan him? You know the LAFD will shitcan anyone no matter what the circumstances are," he says gravely.

Primly, Dana touches the points of each of her nails to the pad of her thumb. "Nico, if you didn't get shitcanned for tricking Chief Bailey into shrooming at the Backdraft Ball last year, I think Buckley's in the clear."

"That was a complete misunderstanding," Nico swears for the thousandth time.

Dana gives him a slow blink. "It was not. You pulled a jar of mushrooms out of your jacket and said, 'I'm gonna send Chief Bailey to Jupiter.' I have no idea why you're not in jail."

Smug as anything, Nico preens a little. "Chief B was going through some stuff and we went on a very good trip together."

Tommy and Dana share a dubious glance, because that could mean anything from impromptu therapy to having sex in the bathroom where the two of them were found. And Tommy's not one to judge anyone's sexual proclivities, but Chief Bailey is in his early eighties and has very well-documented hip problems.

"How's the human terrier doing? Did he dig anyone else up?" Dana asks. Her expression gives nothing away, but he knows she's laughing at him deep down in whatever black hole her body uses to siphon off emotion.

"Har har," Tommy deadpans, then pauses. "I actually don't know the answer to that. I'm really hoping it's just the one corpse. He did manage to dislocate his arm, though."

"I bet they're gonna shitcan him," Nico says.

"I bet Donato's gonna kill you in cold blood for eating her tangerine when she gets back," Tommy says brightly.

"Probably. I couldn't help it. Stolen food tastes better; it's a law of nature." Nico makes a thoughtful sound and gets to his feet, stretching languidly. "Since I'm already marked for death, I might as well eat her potato salad while I'm at it."

He and Dana watch him amble away in search of Lucy's motive, and Dana asks, genuinely curious, "You ever wonder if the LAFD will go against the grain and hire someone normal?"

"Only every day of my life," Tommy admits. "Speaking of which, did your friend have anything else to say about Evan's, uh, taste in Halloween decorations?"

She shakes her head. "It's with the police now. You off to see your grave robber?"

Huffing a laugh, he lightly kicks her foot. He doesn't know what it says about him that hearing Evan be referred to as a felon fills him with such fondness, but he decides to shove it out of sight until he can study it in greater detail when he's alone.

"My shift ends in a couple of hours. He can keep himself out of trouble until then." Tommy thinks about it for a second and amends, "Probably."

Two hours should be plenty of time to finish fighting with the safety wires, shower real quick, and then break a handful of traffic laws on his way to First Presbyterian. He can only hope Evan doesn't dislocate his other arm or lock himself in the morgue in the meantime.

"Hey." Dana kicks his foot and he lifts his gaze to hers. She stares at him for a moment and, terrifyingly, her mouth quirks again. "Happiness looks good on you, Kinard."

He ducks his head, smiling helplessly. "It's early days, D."

"So what? Doesn't mean you can't be happy about it." Dana shrugs. "I'm thrilled, frankly. Now we've got someone on the inside who can give us firsthand intel about what the fuck goes on over there."

"I'm not a spy," Tommy says flatly.

Dana nods. "True. But it won't be long before you're an accomplice."

Like it's a foregone conclusion that he's going to throw in with Evan and Evan's family. The hurricane could be written off as an outlier, but Tommy knows the second they come to him again for help—the very instant Evan asks—it's going to be an immediate yes.

"If it comes to that, will you bail me out?" he asks, half-jokingly. He won't do her the disrespect of trying to deny it. She's always had his number.

"Nah." Dana gets to her feet and reaches up to pat him on the arm. "I'll let Donato do the honors."

He'd rather stay in jail.

[starrynights-sunnyskies]

as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·ﾟmisa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (7/-)

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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.

or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous

fic: see my masterlist 🤍

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yourusername: hello madrid 🌼 Liked by sofie.svava, frejaolofssonn, ona.battle and 1,289 others

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ingridengen Sweetest girl!!

username1 😮

marialeonn16 Floraaaa mi favoritaaa 😎

sofie.svava Yay, the princess has arrived! 👼🎀

albaps9 oh dear is the car still ok ↳ yourusername i'm a better driver than you ↳ albaps9 iM a bETtER dRiVeR THAn yOu ↳ yourusername you can't even drive manual 😙

janafernandez3 Aw, what beautiful flowers!! 😍 ↳ claudiaapina from her 'secret' admirer, I bet! ↳ jennihermoso Cough, secret admirer turned girlfriend, cough! ↳ ona.battle They're so goals together 😭 ↳ patri8guijarro Uhhh, you know who SHE is?!!! ↳ ona.battle 🤷‍♀️ ↳ __cata13 HOW ↳ janafernandez3 Just a little common sense, girls 😅 ↳ keirawalsh hasn't it been obvious right from the start or do i just spend too much time on social media to have seen it all happen? 😳 ↳ aitanabonmati The last one, you clown 😁

marisabel_rguez Have fun in Madrid, YN! Hope you have a good time 😎 ↳ yourusername ass 🤣

username2 hello, more MisaxYn content? 🤞

username3 Driving six hours to Madrid for funsies?.... hmmm I wonder why 😳 ↳ username4 she could've just taken the train but ok ↳ username5 Maybe the u-haul was already filled to the brim so she decided to bring the rest herself 🤭 ↳ username6 👀 ↳ username7 uhhh they wouldn't, would they? ↳ username5 Oh, but they might! 😌 ↳ username7 🕵️‍♀️🧐

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Text Messages

ale 🐻 You post a picture before telling me you've arrived? I love you pero can you please stop worrying me like that. I called you like so many times. ale 🐻 I just had the most nerve wracking seven hours of my life, you know?? you ○○○ you ALE you im okay im okay! you fuck i'm so sorry, my phone died and then i arrived and misa and sofie took me in and they immediately took me out to eat and i just kind of forgot im so so so so so so so sorry and i love you the most in the whole entire world. you're the best sister ever and i'm the luckiest shithead there is. t'estimo, t'estimo, t'estimo!!!! ale 🐻 Bé, I was just really worried about you, I didn't like not hearing anything from you. You're my whole world, too. Next time make sure it's fully charged when you know you'll go out for a long time. What would you have done if you had needed help? Not saying this to scare you, but you know that. So, how was the drive? Did you at least take a few breaks? you boring, lots of rain and traffic. aaaand no breaksies because i didn't want to arrive in the middle of the night bc the traffic had set me back some hours. misa has a game tomorrow and i didn't want her to lose any sleep 😅 ale 🐻Next time you take regular breaks, yes? I'm sure Misa would understand and want the same. Can you please Facetime mami? you i will. petons to you all and olga 😘 you and nala! Delivered

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↳ 6h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

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Direct Messages albaps9 corrupting the missus to support real madrid, i see? misa, are you even trying to get along with alexia? 😂 marisabel_rguez Jeje 😆 Had to show her a little bit of our Madrid culture, of course! It's tradition to attend a game! albaps9 in the putellas household, it's also tradition to support barca, so have fun holding onto your head! albaps9 no, but all jokes aside. i might not have said this to you in person yet, but i want you to know how happy i am that you're with my sister. i don't think anyone else could've pulled her out of the deep end and love and treat her the way she deserves. you made her see her own worth again, believe that she was deserving of all the good things, and gave us our girl back. i'll never be able to properly thank you, but i want you to know how grateful we all are nonetheless. marisabel_rguez Thank you for telling me. But you don't need to thank me for doing all that. I love her, it's only normal that I treat her accordingly. She's my entire world, Alba. albaps9 i still don't think you realise how much your love and care for her means to her and the rest of us, and how it has impacted us as a family. but remember that we're proud to call you family too. okay? albaps9 unless you hurt her and end up destroying all the progress she's made, maria isabel. then i'll fucking come for you and alexia won't be your only problem. marisabel_rguez I would expect you to do so then! She's really lucky with you two. She loves you very much, so I'm also happy to be part of your circle. albaps9 🥹🥹 okay but you don't even seem the slightest bit intimidated? 🤣 marisabel_rguez Oh no, I know you're bark and bite! I just know I don't have to be afraid because that worst case scenario will never happen! albaps9 thank you misa ❤️

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tagged: marisabel_rguez, frejaolofssonn, carolinemoller_, haleyraso, yourusername sofie.svava: Supporting the boys with my favourite madridistas Liked by claudia.zornoza, carolineweir95, haleyraso and 12,493 others

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frejaolofssonn Gooooooaaaaal golgolgolgolgol 🤩

carolineweir95 Supporting the men but wearing Misa jerseys, I'm so here for it haha ↳ sofie.svava Someone insisted 🙊 liked by marisabel_rguez ↳ marisabel_rguez And we couldn't resist her! liked by yourusername

username1 Did sofie just... ↳ username2 Yes 😭😬😬😬 ↳ username3 she's removed yn from the tags now 🤭 ↳ username1 Too late man lmao

claudia.zornoza Vamos 💪🏼

haleyraso 💅🏽

username4 it sure is real love if someone raised on barca sets even one foot inside santiago bernabeu and it's not in the away-section liked by 12 others

username5 The Misa appreciation is spreading 😛 ↳ username6 and rightly so!! ↳ username7 I wonder who's behind that 🧐👀

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marisabel_rguez: Happy life. Liked by albaps9, bff2, jennihermoso and 18,329 others

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username1 we know who this is why dont u just tag her lmao srsly ↳ username2 Honestly, do they truly still think they're being slick 🤦‍♀️ ↳ username3 I don't even get the point in keeping it private, like what's the big deal? ↳ username4 maybe they just don't care but don't want to indulge people like you all

marialeonn16 😊

albaps9 ❤️ ↳ albaps9 but that tush will always be mine 😭

sofie.svava 💖

haleyraso Awww

username7 I love how they're slowly growing more comfortable letting the world in ):

sofiajakobsson 😘

bff1 ummm hey? hands to yourself. she's still my snookums until she officially has your last name 🤣 liked by alexiaputellas ↳ yourusername omg stop embarrassing me ↳ marisabel_rguez ✋🏽😳🤚🏽

ingridengen The sweetest together!

salmaparalluelo 😍

jennihermoso 👀

username4 You forgot the other half of the caption ↳ username5 Happy wife, happy life? ↳ username4 Ding-ding-ding! ↳ username6 don't think they'll get married so long as alexia is still lurking in the background 🤣

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yourusername: madrid, you were good to me!! (plus a little surprise i discovered at the petrol station on my way home. te amo mas que a la vida en sa) Liked by bff3, fridolinarolfo, haleyraso and 2,499 others

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albaps9 hmmm i wonder whyyyy liked by yourusername

salmaparalluelo Pls yn confirm that you-know-who and the anonymous admirer are the same person!! ↳ jennihermoso 👀 ↳ yourusername hehe ↳ janafernandez3 !!!!!!!!!!!!! ↳ ona.battle We want to know ��� ↳ marialeonn16 Oh, but we know 😌 ↳ ingridengen yup!! ☺️ ↳ jennihermoso 👀 ↳ ona.battle ???

username1 the note in the car is the cutest 😔

username2 I want a Misa too, care to loan her out?

alexiaputellas Proud of you and how strong you are. You kept fighting and look at you now. You deserve all this happiness, ma germana petita. T'adoro. ↳ yourusername t'estimo tant tant tant

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yourusername: feliç diada de sant jordi, la meva gent🌹 Liked by ingridengen, alexiaputellas, albaps9 and 940 others

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marisabel_rguez Horrible choice of clothing, I should give you some of my shirts to wear ↳ yourusername you're acting as if half of them aren't already at my place ↳ marisabel_rguez Right where they should be 😉

bff1 feliç sant jordiiii

begovargas 🌹

alexiaputellas 🌹📖🐉🌹

marisabel_rguez And I love when you speak Catalan!!!! liked by yourusername

janafernandez3 feliç sant jordi, el meu amic 🌹

aitanabonmati Feliç Sant Jordi, YN!

claudiaapina feliç sant jordi! 😊

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↳ 5h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story ↳ 4h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story ↳ 1h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story

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marisabel_rguez: este camiseta 💪🏼 Liked by yourusername, sofie.svava, realmadridfem and 14,398 others

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alexiaputellas Visca Barca!!!!! ↳ yourusername be nice... 🤨

yourusername oh wow black is your colour too 🤭 ↳ yourusername (keeping the rest of my thoughts to myself bc alexia's lurking here) ↳ alexiaputellas Yes, behave... 🤨

sofie.svava looking gewd amiga!!! 😇

realmadridfem Nuestro orgullo 💪🏼🤩

haleyraso ✨👏

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username1: o-oka…okay.. ma’am 😳 Liked by username2, yourusername, username3 and 548 others

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username2 lucky person who gets to keep her ↳ username3 @/yourusername 👋 ↳ username12 how shallow of you ↳ username2 she's gorgeous??? and look at that smile 😪 ↳ username4 don't act like you didn't see the other two pics 🤥

username3 LOL HI YN

username4 yn we see you liking 🤣 ↳ username3 I can just imagine her kicking her feet and giggling

username1 okay i understand yn now ↳ username2 And you didn't before?!!?!? liked by 25 others ↳ username3 SHAME

yourusername 🤩🥹😳 liked by 120 others ↳ username5 and i oop- ↳ username10 🤣😭 ↳ username11 pls fangirl again it gave us life last time ↳ username6 girl don't hold back, we know what you're thinking ↳ username2 Alexia isn't here now, come on, let it go 🤭

username6 Misaaa

username7 😣

username8 🤯

username9 Hahaha Misa in that suit summoned yn again ↳ username10 can you blame her? 😱 ↳ username11 everything about that picture is making me swoon!

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yourusername: girl's trip to celebrate one of my besties getting married!!!! Liked by albaps9, bff2, bff3 and 5,439 others

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bff1 what happens in croatia stays in croatia

bff2 💃👩‍👩‍👧‍👧

username1 😍

judebellingham 😁😎 liked by 230 others

alexiaputellas Sunscreen! 😅 ↳ bff3 Don't worry, I'm on it! 😊 ↳ alexiaputellas 😊

username1 i want a friend group like that </3 ↳ username2 fr

albaps9 jealous!!

marisabel_rguez 😣

bff3 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

jennihermoso Guapa!

begovargas Sunflower in human form! 🌻

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Text Messages

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17:48 m 💌 I hope you're having a great time together. Don't forget to drink enough if you're out in the sun a lot! (And I don't mean alcohol, jajaja) ✓ m 💌 Ah, no... pls don't tell me you fell asleep in the sun again ☹️ m 💌 I have to go now so I'll call you later tonight. Te amo mas que nadie and take care!! ✓ 22:36 m 💌 Just saw your post. Are you trying to make me miss you even more? I miss seeing your gorgeous face, it always makes me so happy seeing you. m 💌 You know it’s been torture not having you around, right? m 💌 I miss you so much, YN ✓✓ you i miss you too, my love. the most. i'll be back before you know it! more rested than ever 😚💅🏽 and don't worry, i didn't fall asleep. we were on a boat! i'll tell you more in a bit on the phone. you soon we’ll see each other again, vale? we can go on a trip of our own. for now, just try not to miss me too much 😘 you sent you a photo ▼

m 💌 ○○○ m 💌 Oh, you fucking did not! you oh but i fucking did tho 🥺🥺🥺🙃 m 💌 YN. you si, chula? you ○○○ you misa? you i'm sorry you ☹️ Delivered

Incoming call m 💌

accept

"Are you alone right now?"

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a/n: wishing you the sweetest start of your week! i hope someone does something nice for you and if not, then here's a flower from me to you already 🌻

[gaymaramada]

Rise! Boys with a S/O that has a bad swearing habit:

Leonardo

Lowkey encourages it.

He just thinks it’s really funny how shamelessly you throw the “forbidden words” out there.

Will bust out laughing when you casually tell someone to fuck off.

When you describe it as a bad habit, though, he pulls back a bit.

Offers the idea to replace any swears with random words in Spanish.

(That’s what he does.

He never actually swears in Spanish, though.

It’s pretty funny.)

Will absolutely let you be a bad influence on him, much to the others’ dismay.

“What the fuck was up with that guy at Hueso’s the other night?”

“Yeah, what a shithead.”

“HEY—”

*Dramatic gasp*

“No, no, let him cook—”

Donatello

…. Okay? What of it?

He honestly doesn’t care.

Words are words.

He tends to cycle between his innocent dessert-inspired swears to the most vile combinations of letters to ever grace the planet.

It’s like Russian roulette.

Oh the rants you two will fall into.

Venting to one another brings enough curses to the world that it would have the members of Witch Town shaking.

Overall, he’s pretty indifferent to it, but if it’s bothering you, he’ll do his best to assist.

Though as someone who has his own bad habits, it’s less of him helping you and more of you leaning on each other.

It can become a bit competitive, though.

“Quit biting your nails, you’re gonna fuck them up.”

“Keep yourself from swearing for the next five minutes and I’ll consider it.”

Raphael

Oh the poor sweet thing.

Literally the “no more saying cuss words guys! 😨 it’s inappropriate and violent! 😖” kid.

He loves you, but he’s pretty uncomfortable by how often you swear.

He softened up a bit when you explained it wasn’t entirely voluntary.

He knows what it’s like to lose control sometimes, mild or severe.

He gets you a chewing stim toy to bite down on whenever you feel the urge to swear, as he had a similar method when he was younger and adjusting to his strong jaw.

Will absolutely glare at you if you’re about to curse.

“Oh, fu—”

“🤨”

“uuuuuuuuudgesicles. Fudgesicles.”

“😊”

Overall, he’s very supportive.

Michelangelo

So here’s the thing.

Mikey is no stranger to swearing.

In fact he probably has the foulest mouth in the family with Donnie as a close second.

He gets away with it because:

A. Youngest privilages

B. No one expects it from him

C. Dr. Delicate Touch

He also keeps his swearing to a minimum around his brothers (cough cough Raph cough).

But when you two are together, all Hell breaks loose.

His behavior does switch when he learns that you recognize it as a bad habit, and suddenly you find yourself in a Dr. Feelings seminar.

He helps you find alternative vocal stims to use instead of swearing that still hold enough bite to be satisfactory.

He practices these with you for his own sake as well, so similarly to Donnie, the two of you lean on each other.

If the situation calls for it, however…

“DID YOU STEAL MY FUCKING PINK STAR???”

“Noooo ☺️”

“…..”

“I’m gonna fucking skin you—”

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

CAN WE HAVE HANAHAKI DISEASE AU OF ANY COD SHIP YOU WANT?

We doin selfship cause I'm eepy like that.

Krueger/Nikto/And Reader where they all have crushes on each other but know damn well they can't confess to their coworker who also has their asses in every motherfucking mission.

When did they start having crushes you may ask?

Nikto- for Nikto/Krueger he fell in love over a long course of time and trust. Knowing he was fucked the moment that he accepted an invitation with Krueger to go to a bar outside of work. Just the two of them.

"We should go drinking again, this is fun." [Krueger was enjoying the silence fr.]

For Nikto/Reader he would fall I love with you maybe around the same time. Knowing he was double fucked when he saw you saving his crazy ass post mission in the middle of a breakdown. As if it all fell into place.

"Can you breathe? One, two, one, two, just like that. Keep it up." [You'd have scars on your arms from this]

He would confess shortly after his first petals, finding it a distraction and a motivator. Two birds with one stone, he called it as he confessed to the two of you. Trying to act nonchalant as if he didn't make a whole bouquet of flowers before he confessed.

In reality the first time he saw those petals He was stunned. Perplexed even. But he knew exactly who it was. The both of you. Blue petals and red. There was no mistaking it, one color a person they say.

He confessed in around three months when the flowers wouldn't stop blooming every time he woke. Shaking him awake with a neverending cough and covering his whole bed in them as he collected them. Never throwing them away, knowing that it would catch too much attention. Bright red and blue.

Krueger- For Krueger/Nikto he caught feelings early on. The man got saved by Nikto one mission and practically just stayed in his shadow after all that. Not even bothering to talk to his own teamates. The moment he saw even a glimpse of Nikto he would just walk over there, as if he belonged there.

"Stop following me, fucking rat." [Is that a fucking challenge?]

The flowers for Nikto bloomed slowly, never overbearing but persistent. Until it all became too much with your added flowers. Such bright orange and red, even he was perplexed at how bright the colors were. An old Austrian tale that the more vibrant the colors, the more the person "matches" you. Nonetheless, he got confessed to near the moment it started getting itchy to breathe.

Even though he's had the crush for longer, his was slower and much much more bearable as the flowers were small, like dandelions. He started getting tired of it when there were whole dandelions flowers in his throat. Having to cough them out quietly in the middle of the night as they got lodged in his throat. He started fearing what would happen if it turned into whole dandelion pappus, planning his confession already the moment he saw a seed.

For Krueger/Reader he didn't even realize he fell in love with you until Nikto pulled the both of you away in the middle of the night. The man weary and tired, breathing as if he was impaled. Then he pulled out a bouquet of gardenias, the same shade of color mixed in with the most vibrant of blues.

"I- Christ how do we work this out?- three people into this?- I don't think that was ever recorded." [It has, they're just as confused]

And it never will. All of you keeping the relationship a secret with good care and trust. And mostly the lack of care of the higher ups, aka König. Not even raising an eye, or caring to, when he saw the forced leave addresses being the same.

"You fucking crazy shitheads better take your fucking leave seriously for once, if I hear a fucking note or report that you three doing a side mission during a leave I am going to force another one. On house arrest."

He honestly thought that the three of you were planning to do some bullshit. His clowns, not his circus anymore once you were on leave.

Eitherway, the flowers would be collected in some sort of jar. All of them. Blue, red, and orange mixed yet divided piled up on one another. Squeezed tightly into that little jar hanging off a shelf. A mix of healthy bluebells, dandelions, and gardenias.

The lasting affects of the Hanahaki did persist. Mostly to Krueger and Nikto as you coughed yours out fully intact and inside out when they exited. Petals would form when you two were away for too long but as the love was already requited it wouldn't be too bad.

Until Krueger started coughing out dandelion seeds and you had to drive him to the ICU because Nikto was gone for too long one mission. You honestly thought that the seeds were red because of blood and not the disease when he emptied out a full paper bag of them.

"Hah- I don't need to go to the hospital, Schatz- Just- give me a moment to breathe- i-"

Yeah you weren't going to fall for his bullshit. He was still hacking up seeds the moment you arrived to the hospital. Only somewhat breathing normally once they put him on a respirator.

"This is fucking embarrassing. Don't tell Nikto about this or I swear."

Yeah he was fine once you called Nikto, making the man quickly finish the mission and return before sunset. Finally discharging Krueger with a pack of oxygen to keep at home and a hissy Krueger.

"I told you I didn't need help, Schatz- this is- so fucking embarrassing."

"I've missed you too."

Yeah they quiet up quickly after that. Especially since the blush on their faces could combat the redness of your petals.

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Hi

I was wondering whether u were taking requests for The Other Half.

Can u pls write a fic where the shop girl and bruce have an unplanned pregnancy or something along the lines of it.

I luv u and ur fics sm

Hav a great day

I opted for a pregnancy scare rather tan a full-blown pregnancy; hope that's okay! also the form of this chapter is a little different.

Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part

Warnings: Canon-typical violence; angst! ! Much angst.

You have a bad, bad headache.

“She awake yet?” 

Almost an entire week late. That was a lot of late, way more than you’ve ever been before. You’d taken a test and it turned up negative, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t be positive in a day or two.

A baby?

Are you even ready to have a child? Is Bruce? You’re hardly seen with one another in public these days.

“Not yet.” 

The possibility has caused complete and total distraction—to the point of…Well, what would you call this. A severe mishap? Failure? 

“We get anything back from Wayne?” 

“No.” 

A messy, messy morning. 

“Maybe he’s not really fucking her.” 

A spilled cup of coffee, a favorite blouse completely ruined. 

“They were in all the papers together.” 

“Yeah, but that was months ago. I told you we should’ve gone for Liz Wyatt. No one knows who the hell this bitch is.” 

You'd had a biting, short-tempered conversation with Bruce before you’d stormed over to the elevator and insisted that you’d get yourself to work and back.

“Maybe he’s not really rich.” 

“Please. The guy’s turds are worth more than what we make in a month. Bet they’re gold-flaked and shit…Anyway, it’s only been a few hours. Don't panic yet…Fuckin’ pussy.” 

A bad day at work, a really, really crappy takeout lunch, and a stupid, stupid move as you’d come out of the office building to head home. 

“Don’t call me that, shithead.” 

An unfamiliar car, the blur of a face before a cloth had been pressed over your nose and mouth and someone had yanked you close form behind. Panic, tight breaths, and then—

“Alright, wake ‘er up.” 

Darkness. Darkness and silence that slowly gave rise to—

“How do you want me to do that? Slap her?” 

Two nattering voices volleying arguments, questions, commands back and forth for the past half hour—

You gasp, sputtering as water is poured over you. You cough roughly as some of it catches in your dry throat, hinging forward as your throat and chest ache with the force. You draw in a deep breath as soon as you’re able, blinking rapidly and trying to get a better look at your surroundings. When you’d first come to, you’d realized how tightly your arms were zip tied behind yourself to the beam that you’d been propped against, and your ankles were zip tied in front of you. The floor beneath you is hard as hell, and you kind of have to pee. You've spent your time awake feigning unconsciousness in the hopes that they'd leave you alone.

Your gaze catches on two sets of steel-toed boots, and slowly travels up, up—You wince, squinting against the harsh overhead light illuminating the dank warehouse. You recoil at their faces, your whacking against the wide pole behind you. The two laugh cruelly, making embarrassment curdle in your stomach. One crouches down, roughly gripping your jaw and turning your face toward him. You can’t squirm away like you’d like, and you’re forced to smell his acrid breath. 

“Why don’t you get comfortable, honey,” He chuckles. “We’re waiting on your boyfriend.”

--  

“Will you be dining alone this evening?” 

Bruce glances over at Alfred, trying not to grimace at his pointed question. He shifts on the couch, sinking down in his seat a little under his guardian’s scrutiny. 

“She should be back soon.” 

“Have you heard from her?” 

Not one word, all day. Bruce had checked his phone almost obsessively throughout the day, looking for missed calls or texts, but there hadn’t been a thing from her. Bruce had considered reaching out first, but he was still sort of pissed. He’d spent the day trying to figure out what the hell he'd done wrong, what she’d gotten so damn worked up about. He couldn’t think of a single thing. 

“Perhaps you ought to call and let her know that we’re at the mansion,” Alfred hedges again. Bruce considers it for a moment, glancing at his blank phone screen. Maybe he could…No. 

“She needs her space,” He insists. “She’s mad at me.” 

Alfred hesitates for a moment before he turns away. It may be overstepping his bounds, but he fishes into his pocket for his phone. He sends two texts—one saying that he hopes that she’s had a good day, and another asking if she needs a ride home. He sends them, and waits…And waits…And frowns. Neither message delivers. He turns back to the couch just in time to see Bruce reaching for his phone, then going still and ultimately leaning back in his seat, sliding even further down like a moody teen. 

Perhaps Alfred ought to simply take a look for himself.

--  

He asks the first woman coming out of the Wayne Enterprises building—someone that Bruce recently had him run a background check on. 

“Pardon me, Ms...James? Rose James?” He smiles, as the young woman stops in her tracks. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could ask after a friend of ours.”

Rose’s brows raise as he offers the name. 

“Oh,” She laughs, “She left hours ago. In this huff, too, like a funk? Like not a smelly funk, like a mood kinda funk.” 

Alfred fights to keep his composure, his hands still clasped in front of himself. 

“Ah, of course,” He forces a laugh, “I must’ve confused my days. My apologies, Ms. James—and thank you for your time.” He turns away from her, fishing into his pocket for his phone and eyeing his messages. They still haven’t been delivered. 

Something does not feel right. 

--  

You close your eyes, letting your throbbing head rest back against the pole. You have to distract yourself from your aching arms, and the sharp tingling of your legs and feet falling asleep. You’ve got to think of something else. 

What would you even name a baby? 

Your stomach flips at the thought, and you wince a little. Of all things to think about right now…Then again, what else have you got to do? 

Does Bruce want kids? The two of you have never actually discussed kids…Or marriage, or officially moving in with one another. Maybe you would’ve had those conversations if the two of you hadn’t been photographed kissing in the lobby of Wayne Enterprises, or leaving the vacation house of your Valentine’s retreat. Maybe you’d have had the conversations if Bruce wasn’t…Bruce. 

“Anything?” You hear one of the thieves say to the other. 

“No.” 

“Hmph.” 

You draw in a deep breath, trying to calm yourself as the same slim man leans in toward you. You get a better look at him this time—at his cold, grey eyes, pallid skin and yellowing teeth. 

“You better hope that Wayne answers soon,” He warns, drawing a knife out of his boot. You flinch as he raises it, lightly tapping the tip of it on the underside of your chin. “If he doesn’t, you’ll be leaving here in bits.” 

--  

“Did Rose say what time she left?” Bruce asks, practically bounding off of the elevator and over to the computers deeper in the cave. Alfred follows as quickly as he can, shaking his head. 

“She didn’t, and I neglected to ask.”

Bruce yanks his chair back, reaching down and hurriedly tapping into the security camera feed around Wayne Enterprises. His eyes scan the screen studiously as he winds the security footage back to when she typically leaves work. He stops it there, then skims through the footage a little faster. 

“Wait, there—” Alfred points, “Go back.” 

Bruce rewinds again slightly before he presses play on the footage. His heart leaps into his throat as he watches a man put something over her mouth, her body going limp as two men drag her into a van and take off. He hurriedly changes the camera angle and pauses the footage, zooming in on the license plate. 

Bruce glances over as he sees something move out of his periphery, and frowns when he spots someone leaving something on the front door step. 

“Alfred.” 

“Yes?” 

“Go grab that, would you?” 

--  

“You just dropped it off?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Just now, you just dropped it off? Oh, for fuckssake!” 

You peer warily over at where a third man has hurried in and joined the first two. 

“I got stuck in traffic!” 

“That’s some weak–ass excuse, Frank.” 

“Hey, don’t use names,” The new guy nods over his shoulder toward you, “In front of the girl.” 

“Oh, you worried about her knowing your name? Knowing your face?” 

“Well—” 

“Good point, Frank.” The shot rings out, and you can’t hold back your rough, dry-throated scream as the man raises a gun without hesitation and kills Frank, sending the man sprawling to the ground. He lowers the gun, turning to look at you and gesturing toward Frank’s body. 

“I known Frank twenty years. I do that to him, can you imagine what I’ll do to you?”

--  

“The van took a route through downtown before it crossed the bridge into the Narrows—What’s that?” Bruce asks, glancing back as Alfred approaches again with a small envelope

“It’s addressed to you, sir.” 

Bruce takes it hesitantly, frowning. He takes hold of it, looking over it before he flips it over and opens it. His blood runs cold as he draws out a photograph of her—unconscious, and tied up. His other hand crinkles the envelope, unable to help it as his rage builds. He turns the photo over, frowning when he sees the untidy, scratchy writing. 

“What’s it say?” 

“There’s a phone number.” Bruce tosses the envelope aside before he turns back to the console, punching the number in.

“You’re calling?” 

“It’s probably a burner.” He only has to wait a few moments before someone picks up, and watches as his system traces the signal. 

“Took you long enough, Wayne.” 

“I called the moment I got the envelope.” 

There’s a pause, a grumble on the other side, and his heart stutters as he hears a gunshot. 

“What the hell was that?” He snaps. 

“Don’t worry about it. Listen,” The man sighs. “Two million in cash. No cops.” 

“Where is she?” 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“I want to talk to her.” 

“You’ve got twenty four hours, Mr. Wayne. Call when you have the cash. I’ll send you an address.” 

Bruce opens his mouth to argue, but before he can, the man hangs up. Bruce clenches his jaw, fighting the urge to punch a hole through one of the screens. He tips his chin up, eyeing the spot on the map the phone signal came from. 

“Alfred.” 

“Sir?”

“Take one of the cars, one with heavily tinted windows. Drive into the city, take as much money as you can at an ATM, from tellers, wherever you can get it.” 

“What for?” 

“After that, I want you to come back, use the number on the back of that photo and call it. Get an address.” 

“And bring it to them?” 

“They might be watching the house. I want them to think I’m doing what they said. Don't worry,” Bruce turns away, striding toward the suit. "I'll get there before you do."

--  

Names. What would you even name a kid? You’d probably want to give them a normal name…Well normal as in a typical spelling, and not some over-voweled, extra-consonanted monstrosity, like Mickayleigh or Jostlelynn or Redgeena. 

What were his parents' names? You furrow your brow, trying to remember. You haven’t spoken to Bruce about his parents much, either. Fuck, the more you think about it, there’s so much that you haven’t talked about, that you don’t know...That you may never get to find out.

“He’s got the money.” 

You glance back toward the triumphant whoop of one of the men. 

“Wayne?” He asks.

“Nah, the old guy. He's heading to the drop-off point.” 

Alfred? Your brow furrowed as you tipped your head back against the pole. You had no idea why Alfred would be the one getting cash—

You suck in a shocked breath as the room is suddenly plunged into darkness. You hear the two men tripping over one another, followed by a scuffle and a curse. 

“You alright, man?” 

“Tripped over Frankie—Ugh, he’s cold—”

You wince as the lights suddenly flicker back on, and your heart leaps when you see Batman standing over the fallen robber. The man looks up, and before he can fully get out his yell of, “Oh, shi—”, you see Bruce lifting his foot. You wince, turning your head and squeezing your eyes shut as you hear the man yowl in pain. 

It’s like being in the middle of a horror movie. You can hear what’s happening, and you desperately want to look to assuage your own morbid curiosity, but you’re worried that what you’ll see will be so much worse than you’re imagining. You hear gunshots, grunts, yelps, the cracking of bone, and then—

Nothing. You hear nothing. 

It’s another few moments before you hear the thudding of boots approaching. You dare to peek a single eye open just in time to see the edge of his cape as he rounds the pole. You hear a snick, chased by the feeling of your arms being untied. You groan as they fall limply to your sides, feeling about as heavy as a ton of bricks. He rounds you, crouching down in front of you and untying your ankles as well. It takes you a few moments to reach out, your arms weary and weak from their stretching, and the lack of blood flow. Bruce takes your hands in his gloved ones, easing you off of your feet and shushing you softly when you whimper and stumble into his chest. 

"Are you hurt?"

"No—"

"—They didn't hurt you—?"

"No!" You swear, forcing your pained arms up to wrap around him. He turns his head, lips brushing against your temple.

“It’s alright,” He murmurs. “I’ve got you.” 

--  

"You didn't recognize either of them?"

"No."

“So what you've told me, that’s all you remember?” Commissioner Gordon asks. “No names?” 

You shake your head a little, eyeing the floor. “Apart from the one guy…Frankie? They were pretty careful about not saying who they were when I was awake.” 

“Frankie was, uh…” He checks his notes, “The one that was shot twice, laying on the floor?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Did Batman shoot Frankie?”

“What?” You frown. “No. One of the other guys did that. The, uh…The thin-ish one, with really bad teeth.” 

“And the other one?” 

“He didn’t say much to me.” 

“So…Batman came in and got you out.” 

“Yes.” 

“And dropped you off here at the precinct.” 

“Yes.” 

Commissioner Gordon’s brows jump before they lower again, and he jots something else down. 

“How much longer is this going to take?” Bruce grumbles.

Gordon’s gaze flickers over to where Bruce is still pacing behind you. 

“We’re nearly through here, Mr. Wayne.” 

You hear Bruce huff, followed by the thud of him slouching against the door. It’s a moment before Gordon is shifting in his seat, redirecting his attention. 

“Remind me where you were, Mr. Wayne?” 

“At my mansion.” 

He reports it flatly, and even in your weariness, you have to bite back a smile. 

“We have footage of your butler driving around and taking out money.” 

“I don’t keep that much cash on hand.” 

“And you were just going to pull as much money out as you possibly could?” 

“Whatever it took to get her back.” 

You lean back in your seat as some of the fear, panic, and anxiety well up again. You can feel tears prickling in your eyes, your chest tightening. Commission Gordon sighs, nodding. 

“I think that’s enough for today. I may have a few follow-up questions in the next few days.” 

“Of course,” Bruce answers for both of you, and you’re grateful for it. He comes closer, taking hold of your hand and helping you up. You still feel a little woozy, and you lean heavily against him. 

“I’m sorry to tell you, but there’s a lot of press outside. We, uh…” Gordon rounds the desk, opening the door to his office for you. “We set up barricades to get you from the door to your car without too much hassle.”  

“There isn’t a back exit?” 

“I’m afraid they’ve got the building surrounded, Mr. Wayne.” 

Bruce pushes a heavy sigh through his nose before he mutters quietly in concession. You don’t meet anyone’s eye as he leads you through the bullpen to the elevator, or as Commissioner Gordon gets on with you. 

“Are you driving?” You murmur. Bruce shakes his head, lips brushing your forehead. 

“Alfred is.” 

Alfred. It’ll be nice to see another friendly face. Bruce leads you off of the elevator, fishing into his pocket and drawing out a pair of sunglasses. 

“Put these on,” He orders, “And keep your head down. I’ll get us to the car.” 

You nod, putting on the thick, chunky sunglasses. They practically obscure half of your face. 

“Ready?” Bruce asks. You nod again, tucking yourself more tightly into his side as Commissioner Gordon opens the door. You don’t even have the chance to step a foot outside before you’re bombarded by the flashing of cameras, and yelled questions coming from all directions. It makes you want to run back inside and find some quiet corner to curl up in, but Bruce wraps his arm tightly around your shoulders, steering you to the car. You almost stumble trying to keep up with the pace he sets, fighting to keep your steps even and quick as he guides you down the path that the cops have set up and into the car.

As soon as the door is shut behind you, you sag down in your seat and draw your sunglasses off, peering through the heavily-tinted windows at the mob of press. The sound is let in again as Bruce gets in on the other side of the backseat, and as Alfred gets into the driver’s seat. It’s not a clean peeling away from the curb—a few press still crowd around the front, trying to get shots of you and Bruce through the windshield—but Alfred finally pulls away, and it feels like you can breathe again. 

--  

As you strip down to shower—as you suddenly feel an acute cramping in your lower stomach—you start to cry, the full weight of the day crashing down around you. Bruce turns back from where he’s been turning the knobs to heat up the water, and through your kaleidoscope of tears, you can see his expression melting from confusion to sadness. He reaches out, drawing you into his chest, and you go willingly. You don’t even care that his hands are wet from checking to see if the water is warm enough. You just bury your face in his chest and let every bit of your fear and worry drain from you. 

--  

“...Thought you had it already.”

“Hm?” You hum softly.

“Your period.” 

You wince at the comment, focusing on the steady rise and fall of Bruce’s chest. You’d thought that you’d have to have this conversation at some point in the next few days, but right now, tucked into his side in bed, you can’t think of anything you’d like to talk about less. Still, you trail your fingers along his side, weighing your words before you admit: 

“I was late.” 

“How late?” 

“A week.” 

Bruce is quiet for a few moments, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head. 

“Did you think…?” He hedges.

“Yeah.” 

“...Is that why you almost took my head off this morning?” 

“Yes…Sorry, by the way.” 

“S’okay.” 

Is it? 

You let it hang in the air for a moment. You could let the conversation pass. You could just move—

“Would you have been happy?” You hedge, “If…I was?” 

A few moments of harrowing silence as Bruce’s fingers skate over your bare back. 

“I don’t know.” 

It’s honest, at least, but it doesn’t feel good. Yes was what you’d been hoping for. But I don’t know? You can feel yourself tearing again, and you bite down on your inner cheek, just nodding when you feel him looking down at you. He sighs heavily, murmurs, “Sweetheart,” But he doesn’t get all of it out before you’re pulling away from him and pushing yourself to sit up. You draw in a few deep breaths to steady yourself, raising your hands to swipe away the few tears that escape. To his credit, Bruce gives you the space that you need, sitting up and staying on his side of the bed. 

“Look at what happened to you today,” He points out. 

“That could’ve happened to anybody,” You grumble.

“Not like this. It happened because people know that you’re with me. It’s dangerous for you. And if it hadn’t just been you, if we ever…” It takes him a moment. “If we ever had a child, they would be a target, too.”

You sniffle softly, tucking your arms around your middle and fisting your fingers in the fabric of your sleep shirt. You know that he’s right, and you want to hate him for it.

“Is that why we never talk about that stuff?” You ask. 

“What stuff?” 

“Our future.” You turn your head back toward him, watching him in your periphery. You can see his lips pressed into a thin line, his gaze set ahead. 

“It’s not an easy conversation to have.” 

“Is that all we can have? Easy conversations?” 

“That’s not what I meant. Don’t put words in my mouth.” 

You sniffle again, turning away from him and looking down at the sheets. You feel Bruce scooch a little closer, sliding his hand along your lower back before he gently draws you back against him. You lean against him, pouting a touch as your cramps flare. Bruce nuzzles against your hair, dropping a kiss there. 

“Today was a lot,” He murmurs. “Can we just…Can we get some sleep? Talk about this tomorrow?” 

You nod, letting Bruce steer you to lay back down. You rest your head on his shoulder, fingers absently tracing shapes on his chest. 

“...For the record,” You offer softly, “Those men did what they did because they were greedy. I’m safe because of you, Bruce.” 

Bruce’s grip tightens on you, and you snuggle closer, sliding your leg over his and pressing as close as possible despite the twinging in your belly. 

Next Part

[miyaheestar]

A DATE?!

context : reader is asl sister and dating a certain dark haired man

warning : there's curse words lol + a brief mention of zolu + mention of sex

you look at yourself in the mirror and then let out a satisfied whistle, "look so damn good."

looking to your left, there's your sling bag that your beloved boyfriend bought for you for your birthday made a smile bloomed on your face.

you quickly took your phone, tucking it inside of your bag and took the new heels that you just got for tonight's date and walk downstairs.

"sabo, you dont have to cook extra today. i won't be home for dinner." you said to your older brother that are reading his book and he just hummed to acknowledge you while your eldest brother raise his eyebrows but still not looking at you since he's still playing a game on the tv, "where are ya going, y/n?"

"a date."

you pretty sure you heard someone's neck crack because of how fast ace and sabo turn their their heads towards you and finally noticing that you're all dressed up.

luffy also look at you before he bluntly asked "are you going out with traffy?"

"traffy?!" sabo and ace asked loudly. ace walk towards you fast, "young lady, you ain't going out with him! he got a tattoos on his body and.. and.. and.. he got a goatee!"

sabo nodded and he took your heels away from you, "and he's literally older than me and ace! why would you date an old man?!"

you look at your overprotective brothers with a tired sigh. "first of all, im an adult. i can do whatever i want, date whoever i want. second of all, ace you also have a tattoo."

ace frowned when you pointed that out and grumbles something you can't hear under his breath angrily.

"sabo, he's only 2 years older than you. our dad is 10 years older than mom so why does that matters?" you asked them with an annoyed look on your face.

"traffy is a good guy, don't worry!" luffy smiled and give a thumbs up to his brothers and immediately got ignored making him pout and focusing back on his game.

"how long have you been dating him?" sabo asked after few minutes of silence. you sigh in relief when he finally relaxed. "almost a year now. today is our first anniversary." you mutter nervously, looking down on your feet to ignore ace's glares.

"why didn't you tell us about this?" this time ace is the one that asked and you immediately gulped, your eldest brother is too scary.

"luffy knows and um i didn't tell you guys because i was not ready."

ace and sabo immediately look at the youngest and luffy didn't even act like he cares as he munch on his chips. "what? traffy said he gonna take care of her and i trust traffy."

"have you guys ever had sex?" sabo asked seriously and you immediately choked on your spit making you cough loudly.

"y/n!" ace immediately pat your back gently. "calm down you idiot."

after drinking water thanks to sabo sprinting to the kitchen you calmed down. "no we haven't.. done that yet."

"okay good. make sure you use protection if you.. do that" sabo pat your head before he share a look with ace.

".. have you two kissed?"

well now that's a dumb question. who would ask that to their sister who has been dating a guy for a year?

"are you dumb?" luffy asked before you can even say anything and god it made you cackled so loud.

after few seconds there's knocks on the door, you were about to open the door when sabo stopped you and let ace open the door instead.

and there were your handsome boyfriend standing perfectly with a bouquet on his hand, he look a bit confused before realizing that your brothers finally found out about the relationship.

"..hello, im here to pick up y/n." law said to ace and sabo calmly and silently nod at luffy to greet him making the younger one waved happily. "HI TRAFFY!"

"hi babe" you smiled as you walk to your boyfriend. "dont mind them, they're just being dumb." you said as you kissed his cheek and law feel like sabo and ace glares can literally set him on fire.

"im going now, dont follow us you shitheads!" you warned your brothers before wearing your heels and dragging your man yes YOUR MAN away from your house.

"LANGUAGE!" you heard your brothers shouted.

after finally getting a moment to be alone with him in the car, you sighed and held his hand, "sorry about that. you know.. how crazy they are when they found out luffy was dating zoro too."

law just shook his head and gently caress your face, "don't worry about it. now shall we go? because i can see your brothers staring at us from the bushes"

you rolled your eyes with a laugh, "yes let's just hope those idiots won't interrupt us the way they interrupt luffy's date."

[moonpascal]

what you over here being messy for?

summary: sam misinterprets a text on your phone w: 1.5k pairing: bucky barnes x platonic fem!reader, ben barnes x reader (mentioned) warnings: miscommunication?, probably ooc, migraines, medicine/drug mentioned, fluff, sams nosy ass, pov switches?idk still new to this a/n: very self indulgent and written very fast so possible errors. posting before i second guess myself.

“Sam can you grab my phone from the kitchen, I forgot it but don’t have time myself to get it.” You sighed rubbing the throbbing migraine that’s arrived from this stressful day. One thing after another, paperwork, HR, and planning the upcoming mission. 

“Ooh you have a day tonight?” Sam snaps you out of the daze you're in and give him a questioning look. He slides your phone across the table and the screen lights up from the two-minute warning text 

BB🤍 ‘Can’t wait for tonight love’ 

An unconscious smile creeps onto your face, that Sam mimics, getting giddy as you type away. Forgetting he’s even there for a split second. When he clears his throat, you glance up and slightly cough hiding the smile. “Right yeah I’m excited, but stop reading my messages. I don’t even know how you got access to read my messages,” teasing him, not that it’s a big deal he’s seen it. He smiles before rushing out of the conference room, almost tripping on air. 

Gathering the files making sure each one is the exact same, then placing each one in their designated spot on the table. Glancing at the time, five minutes till the minutes and four hours till date night. You can do this just gotta make it a few more hours you thought. 

——————

Sam nearly felt like Pietro with how fast he ran to find Bucky. Having to congratulate him in person, then punch him for not telling him sooner. Skidding around the corner weaving passed other agents, before he spots Bucky coming out of the elevator. 

“You shithead I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Sam shoved Bucky's arm, who only gave him a puzzling look. 

“What are you on about this time? It’s too early for this” Buck walked past Sam knowing he’ll follow as they all had a briefing in less than a few minutes. 

Sam huffed, “ear- it’s 12:55, don’t change the subject. You finally ask Boss lady out and didn’t tell me!” 

Halting to a stop, Bucky quirks his eyebrow. “Why on earth do you think that?” Buck knows you're in a relationship and two, he doesn’t see you in that aspect, even if everyone thinks he does. It’s honestly a run on joke between you two at this point. 

“Don’t act coy, I've seen her text message from none other than “BB” who else would that be?” 

Bucky chuckles understanding where he got that idea. Deciding to mess with Sam, Barnes just smirks and shrugs, walking passed him into the briefing room. Sam can’t another word in as everyone is there and ready to start. 

———

The whole time you're discussing the plan for the next mission, everyone seems to be giving you smirks or subtle nods. When you face away from them focusing on breach points and surveillance systems, they shift their attention to Bucky giving him the same looks. 

If it was any other day Barnes would’ve rolled his eyes and not entertained them in the slightest. But knowing Sam sent a mass text to the team he knew exactly what those look were, and decided to enjoy it before he makes them feel stupid for listening to Sam. 

“The jet we’ll leave in 2300 hours, meeting adjourned” You turn the screen off and start gathering the mess you created. Slouching in the chair burrow your head in your hands. The lights seem to be the brightest today and every little noise is at max decibel. Honestly feels like a hangover. A gentle hand to your shoulder shook you out of your daze. Wincing at the movement you look up and James towers over you. 

“Anything I can help with?” He whispers crouching down to get a better look. He could instantly tell when you get these, especially so often. 

“Maybe Tylenol? I’ve had food and tons of water. I don’t know why I keep getting these” Groaning as the left of your eye starts throbbing now. 

“It’s because of all the overthinking and stress you put on yourself”

Looking up at him just to glare knowing he’s right. “Lead the way, I need the drugs.” 

James grabs your items before you get the chance, giving you a knowing look not to argue. As if you were in the mood to argue. Just get the medicine and work through the next two and half hours. Should be as right as rain for tonight. The mantra repeated as you let James guide you, ignoring everyone passing by. If you were paying attention, you would’ve noticed the winks and smirks thrown your way. 

What felt like a journey, you were finally at the in house pharmacy -courtesy of Tony, go figure- and James handed you the two Tylenol with their little paper cups. Whispering a quiet thanks, downing it in seconds. 

“Hopefully your headache goes away, wouldn’t want you to be miserable on your date,” the pharmacist smiles at you. 

Scrunching your eyebrows for a second, “huh? Oh, right yeah of course thanks” giving a tight smile to her before starting the trek back to your office. 

“I swear Sam has the loudest mouth, James I love him but nothing is secret with him around” 

Buck put the files on the corner of your desk, chuckling as you rant, saying this was the exact reason she wasn’t telling anyone about Ben. 

“It was bound to happen doll,” he dims the light in the office as you situate yourself grumbling in agreement. “Let me know when you’re gonna head out today, I’ll walk you.” 

“Thank James I appreciate it.” giving the best smile you can manage before going back to the emails piling by the minute. Feels like Jim Carrey in that one movie answering all the never ending emails. 

As time passed the migraine was slowly diminishing, your phone didn’t get the same treatment. A text coming in every few minutes.

Tones: Have fun on your date with Barnes

Nat: Can’t believe you tell me about your date

Wanda: knew it! It was about time

And many more along the same lines. Knowing word spread faster than captain rogers blushing at an innuendo, you couldn’t complain that the cat was finally out of the bag. Glimpsing at the time, smiling that it’s time to head out.  Signing out of your computer and shooting James a quick text that you’re done. 

Heading towards the common room, it seems like the whole team was there. “Bye guys have a good night, see some of you after the mission!”

James enters the room before anyone can bid you farewell and their smiles get bigger as mine did. “Ready to go doll?” 

“Enjoy your date you guys!” Tony teases, earning a slap from Pepper. 

Curiously looking at James, “You have a date? And you didn’t tell me? Who did you ask?” Feigning a hurt look. 

“Apparently it’s you boss lady,” he smiles wrapping his arm around you and squeezing your shoulder.

“What?” beyond confused and not the only one as everyone has an unreadable look. 

“Wait, you're not going on a date with Bucky? But your text said “can’t wait for tonight” sent by BB! Bucky Barnes!” Sam all but exasperated. 

James and you share a look before bursting into tears. Wiping them away before catching your breath. “That was from my boyfriend, Ben Barnes.” 

“Boyfriend!! Since when? And why the hell would his name be his initials in your phone?” Nat added.

“A few months now and I don’t know that just how I put it in when we first started talking. I haven’t had time to change it.” Shrugging as if you didn’t drop a bomb on them. 

“I’m hurt for one, you didn’t tell us and two that it’s not with this Barnes!” Tony huffed, crossing his arms frustrated he didn’t figure this out sooner. All the technology in the world and this slipped away from him. 

“You guys are ridiculous, James and I are friends and if Sam was good as snooping he would've known I don’t call him Bucky ever.” Shoving your phone in Sam’s face, showing ‘James 🧸’ contact in your phone. 

“Well he never corrected me, what was I supposed to think!” Sam throws himself on the couch murmuring how his day is ruined. 

“Because I knew you’d look like an idiot after telling everyone,” Bucky sassed feeling proud of himself, mentally adding a tally mark to his Sam vs Bucky board. Sam flips him off before leaving the room, probably figuring out a way to get him back. 

Turning back to everyone else waiting for the interrogation to start but no one pipes up surprisingly. 

“I’ll tell you guys everything you want to know this weekend. Just didn’t want to jinx it, you know.” They all sighed and agreed knowing how the dating world is nowadays. 

“Can’t believe you went and found a different Barnes when I’m when right here doll,” James smirks nudging your shoulder

“Yeah because that was funny the first time you told me”

let me know what you thought! reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

[zero-in-kyoto]

[Dance to forget] Five x reader

tags/warnings: Slight alcohol mentions, season 3 spoilers, cringe, unfunny jokes, no beta we die like klaus, I was bored, no prominent romantic interactions so it can be taken platonic.

[Dance to forget]

The lights were bright and everyone was enjoying themselves at Sloane and Luther’s wedding. Drinking, dancing, conversing, however there was some underlying tension in the air. Throughout Viktor, Allison, and a stressed Five, who was drinking down beers like it was nothing. His tolerance must be high. You slid into the seat next to him and too drunk beer. It burned and you coughed it up. “How do people enjoy drinking this stuff?” You cough out, and Five starts patting you back to help. Yet he still seemed so deep it thought.

You poked him then knocked on his head like it was a door , and he recoiled as a response then turned to you with an unamused expression. “What’s going on upstairs? You’re thinking so hard, you’re sweating. Your mind must be in a track meet.” You question and joke with him. He drunk more of his beer before throwing the bottle in a corner, it shattering, and momentarily getting everyone’s attention. Everyone turned to look at you both, rather Five, for about 16 seconds before returning to what they were doing.

“There was no need to do something so melodramatic.” You subconsciously scolded him for doing that. “It’s not like it matters. Nothing we do matters anymore.” He muttered, and what he said made you double take. It was true, however it felt weird hearing him sound so crushed. Fair enough though, they’d saved the world several times and there wasn’t a lot to do this time around but just wait till the all withered away with the rest of the hotel. 

you chugged down a beer, and got another to chug down. Five stopped you from chugging down the second. “Slow down, alcohol poisoning would be a much more unpleasant death.” You retract the drink from the lips and unexpectedly grab his hand and take him to the floor to dance. You had drunk just enough to be tipsy. “What are you doing?” He growled out.

“We are.. going to dance to get you out your bad mood.”

“I don’t dance.”

“Me neither, but we are now.”

I grabbed his hands and placed them on my waist and I put mine on his shoulder. At this angle, I could truly appreciate how beautiful this wedding was set up. The lights and all the white combining together.

“Just try to mirror me, okay?” You mumble softly with a bit of hesitance on your ability to make it work, hardly even knowing to dance yourself.

You stepped back, and he stuttered a step forward. He looked down, and you giggled. “Don’t worry about it too much. You’ve got it. Just focus okay.” You said to him to soothe him.

He looked up at you and just seemed to zone out, all he could hear was the clicking on both of your shoes, and muffled out music as he was drowning it out. It surely was distracting him, so much so that he truly was not and it pained him to think about anything but dancing with you. However, things were on his mind, how could there not be? It’s not that he wanted his mind to work overtime, to prolong his work, but he just couldn’t help but to think that there was more that could have been done.

You smiled, and continued dancing, the light sparkled in your eyes. It was trippy to look at. In fact, it made you quite dizzy. You both stepped back, but this time you tripped really hard, but he managed to catch you.

“Careful, dumbass.”

“That was.. amazing.. thank you, shithead..” you mumble.

———————

goofy ahhh.. I wrote this at 12am and posted it after finishing it. Sorry it’s lowkey bad LMFAO. Love yaaa, hope to write some more for you guys soon, requests open!! Btw is there a specific way to do that? I’ve never written on here before this and I’m confused LOL.

[lokisgoodgirl]

The Red Dress [Avenger! Loki x Fem. Reader]

Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection A link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: (5) It's a big night for the team, and your outfit of choice makes quite the impression on one god in particular. Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Hostility. Language. Jealously. Humour. Smuttish. Sexual tension. (w/c 3.7k)

Loki had been back from his latest mission for a whole week, and you were counting the days until he left again. It was the night of the annual Avenger’s shareholder party, the most important corporate night of the year. Mandatory attendance. A month and three days had passed since what you had come to term ‘the incidents’. Not that you were counting, of course. Memories of Loki’s dexterous hands roaming your body haunted you. How he made the world around you fade to darkness beneath his animalistic moans was still annoyingly clear as day, even in the dead of night. Particularly in the dead of night.

It was nothing. At least, that’s what you told yourself as a resplendent Loki Laufeyson descended the staircase to the party with a spring in every conceited step.

You smoothed a hand down the bodice of your red dress, the skater pleats of the silk skirt grazing your bare thighs. He was wearing some sort of tight tunic tonight, a mix of Asgardian and Earth fashion that could only have come from one of Stark’s legendary tailors. His flowing black hair was combed back, falling in an effortless train behind his shoulders. A familiar gold crescent adorned the material snug around his chest, the high collar straight against his devastatingly jawline. He wants everyone to know who he is, smug bastard, you thought venomously as you imagined how the cool metal of his sacred symbol over his heart would feel against your ass while you sat on his face. Because of course he does. The straight tunic brushed his thighs, a longer flap of material hanging teasingly over his manhood. Wise decision, Tony; you thought, remembering the ferociously primal stir his enormous bulge caused at the last event. Matte leather clung to his muscled legs, running down into formal knee high boots that made you want to scream. All black. Or is it dark green, you wondered; hungry eyes hovering on the creases appearing at his thighs as he gracefully made his way down the stairs alone. The whole thing was a blip, you told yourself. A moment of madness. Or two. If anything, you never thought about it at all. Seeing him swagger nonchalantly around the Tower with that token arrogance clinging to him like latex was unbearable, though. His whole demeanour, the haughty derision toward everyone and everything simmering beneath that perfect skin, brewing the next sarcastic quip. Unbearable. And what was even more unbearable was that the shithead was ignoring you. How many times had you grimaced at the ridiculous little cough of condescension that floated over your shoulder in the kitchen before he released a tepid barb? Too many, you thought; as your eyes scanned his proud features radiant in the reflections from the mirrorball. It was one of the many things you loathed about him. And yet now you finally had your wish that it would cease...somehow, it smarted. Like he was winning.

You’d fallen into the habit of talking a little louder in his vicinity when he graced the common rooms with his austere presence, saving your best lines for when he was close and could hear the rampant mirth you provoked. That he would see the scintillating hilarity he's missing by being a complete dick, you thought; running your eyes up his endless legs as he reached the bottom of the stairs, his eyes scanning the pulsing crowd with a self-assured smirk. Damn, he looks fucking good tonight, though you conceded reluctantly; grateful that the sway of your flouncy dress hid a slight involuntary thrust of your hips. He raised his chin, looking left and right; a glazed stare floating right past you. If you were honest, you had hoped that the perfectly fitted dress and the cleavage contained therein would lure him to you; drive him mad with longing or some damn thing. At least long enough to give him a taste of his own medicine. As he turned away, you realised that your cleavage would just as easily open the doors to Stark’s vault. And really, it wasn’t like you cared. Irritation marinated as Nat handed you a drink, your fingers absent-mindedly clasping the stem of the glass. She chattered over the music as you took a mental picture of Loki’s muscular body vacuum-packed into that ridiculous outfit to masturbate over later in the bath. Yes, you thought; your eyes crawling over his endless limbs as he greeted a flustered Rogers with a sarcastic bow. That will do nicely. “-hey, are you listening?” Nat said, in that peculiarly penetrating tone she saved for when she knew you were absolutely not listening. Your head tilted towards her with a strained smile, blinking several times. “Got distracted, sorry.” you said innocently. She nodded, taking a sip of her wine while observing the party’s latest arrival. Nat licked the faint stain of red from her upper lip. “You mean David Gandy over there?” she said, nudging her head towards Loki. You chuckled, an infectious giggle from Nat following. “I wonder what will give up first” she postured, folding her elegant arms. “Thor’s table manners or Loki’s new threads. He’s really poured in there, huh?” You snorted, shaking your head. “Loki’s manners more like.” you murmured to yourself, seeing Nat’s brow furrow. “Sorry, what was it you were saying before?” Her face softened, the placid expression returning. “Stark needs you on the bar.” “On the bar? You’re kidding me.” you whined, letting out an exasperated sigh. “How’s it going to look to the shareholders when one of the bloody team is on shaker-duty?” “Like good PR” she winked, reaching out and tugging down the neckline of your red dress to expose a tad more cleavage. “And no one makes a Martian Hard On like you, babe.” You sighed again, hating that she was right. “Fine.” you grimaced, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Come and talk to me later. If I get stuck with all the handsy drunk ones I’ll be mad.” you said, seeing her eyes light up at your words. “Those are my favourite.” she winked.

You made your apologies to those you cut across, dodging photographer’s flashes as they documented the party. “-Sorry!” you yelped, colliding with an unexpected wall of muscle. Stepping back, your face fell as Loki spun on his heels; looking down at you through half-lidded eyes. They narrowed, running appraisingly over your body, his brows knitted in a strange disapproval. “How did you get over here so fast?” you muttered, straightening as one of his long fingers re-adjusted a strap of your dress which had succumbed to the collision. “Keeping tabs on me, are we? I’m flattered.” he hummed, winding his arm around the shoulder of a mysterious smiling woman. You vaguely remembered seeing her face on the laminated VIP lists Steve had handed out at the briefing. Now you sort of wished you had read it. “Lead the way, barkeep.” Loki smirked, making you roll your eyes. You opened the hatch with a rough churning in your stomach. I did not join the Avengers for this bullshit, you thought as you grabbed the cocktail shaker from the back-shelf. Loki raised the woman’s hand, helping her perch on the barstool before setting himself down. You knew his thick thighs would be spread invitingly against the leather seat, the modestly flap casually set askew to accentuate the peek of the ever-present bulge in his always-just-a-little-too-tight trousers. He placed one forearm on the bar, eyes flickering upward to the side seductively in a way you could only assume was calculated. God, he looked so fucking- “What can I get you?” you said sharply, a manufactured smile stretched across your lips as a stressed-out looking Tony walked by, giving you a grateful nod. Loki pursed his lips in a theatrical ponder. “What do you feel like, darling?” he purred, turning to the woman by his side. She giggled, her cheeks turning pink as his bicep shifted beneath the tight tunic; clearly resting a hand on her leg. By day, she would be one of the most influential financiers in the country. But tonight, it seemed she was an eighteen year old groupie again. “Does she do cocktails?” the woman said coquettishly to Loki, her eyes not leaving his as he bit his lip. His tongue flicked out, running over his cupid’s bow. God, he was really laying it on thick. “She does.” he said thoughtfully, turning toward you with a knowing look. “And she has quite the speciality...remind me, what’s the name?” You sighed, the inevitability of his insider knowledge making you want to ram a cocktail stick in his eye.

“A ‘Martian Hard On’.” you said through gritted teeth, seeing the corner of Loki’s mouth twitch. “And how does one make this frankly delicious sounding concoction?” he purred, leaning closer over the bar with feigned interest.

“It’s not that good actually. Bit overrated.” you sniffed, wiping the damp cloth across the marble. Loki frowned. “I’ll just have Sex on the Beach.” the woman quipped, before gasping dramatically. “I mean the cocktail, not actual sex on the beach…” she drawled with faux-innocence, breaking out in a high-pitched laugh that made your teeth hurt.

You rolled your eyes again, turning to the rows of bottles on the mirrored shelves. In the reflection, you saw Loki lean towards her, the razor-straight line of his jaw twitching as he whispered in her ear. The high collar skirted the angle as he spoke, black slicing against the fairness of his skin. A token flash of his cheekbones that kept you awake at night made your stomach flip as the woman gasped, before giggling again. “Oh you are a bad man, Loki Laufeyson. Tony said I should watch out for you, and he was right.” She pushed his shoulder flirtatiously, watching Loki’s face crease in mock-hurt as he pressed a hand to his chest. His smile was uncharacteristically warm, twinkling eyes running over her admittedly pretty features like she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Hell, maybe she was. It’s just his job for the night, you thought, re-considering the liberal measure of peach schnapps you had poured for the woman now cackling at one of Loki’s over-inflated stories. He’s not actually going to- “Anything to report?” a rasping whisper floated over your shoulder, making you jump. “Christ, Steve…” you mumbled, before sliding the sloppily put together cocktail across the marble towards Loki and the woman. “Thank you, sweetheart.” Loki hummed condescendingly in your direction, passing the glass to his charge with a wink. “I’m just going to the restroom.” the woman said coyly after taking a sip, tugging at the stiff collar of Loki’s tunic. She leant closer, her lips grazing the smooth skin of his cheek. You could see her hand sliding up his thigh, your eyes widening as her palm cupped the bulge in his tight trousers. “Don’t go anywhere.” “Not even if I could, Madam...” Loki said coyly, making you choke back a reluctant laugh as Steve grimaced. The three of you watched the woman slink away, a prominent swing in her step. “That’s Tony’s biggest shareholder, Laufeyson. Don’t fudge it up.” Rogers spat when she was out of earshot, the vein in his temple twitching alarmingly. “I can assure you Rogers, I will not be fudging anything.” Loki drawled, inspecting his fingernails as his features softened to a knowing smile. “Unless she asks me to, of course.”

Steve’s cheeks flushed the same colour as his salmon shirt. “Now listen here, Laufeyson.” he hissed, “No funny business. You just need to show her a good time. Tell her a few jokes.” He raised a hand as Loki opened his mouth with a smart comment on the tip of his tongue. “PG jokes, thank you very much.” “He can handle it Steve” you sighed absent-mindedly, noticing a splash of something on the pleat of your dress. You frowned, looking up at them. “Just, drop it. She’ll be fine, she’s all over him.”

Rogers eyebrow cocked, his gaze running suspiciously between you and Loki as he patted his notebook against one soft palm. “So are you two...pals, now?” he said sceptically, noting the twitch of your eye as he spoke. “-Oh yes.” Loki drawled, throwing Steve a dazzlingly forced smile. “She’s warmed to me at last it seems. I did some charity work for her. Didn’t I, Agent?” You scowled, diligently polishing one of the ostentatious cocktail glasses Stark only brought out on very special occasions. “Charity work, huh?” Steve said, his eyebrows rising towards the god. “That’s spiff of you, Laufeyson. I’ll make a note for your review that you’re really inserting yourself into team culture.” “Oh yes. I’m all about inserting myself deep into the culture now, Rogers.” Loki murmured. “It was quite a desperate situation, really. Tragic, one might say. I simply couldn’t stand by and do nothing while the poor thing suffered.” You inhaled some of your own spit with a cough, spluttering with masked indignation. Loki’s face creased in faux-concern, leaning forward on the bar. “Are you alright, friend?” he murmured, a devilish smile tweaking his lips. Anger flushed through your blood, heat rising in your cheeks as you tried to stay calm. Charity. He’s got some fucking nerve, you thought, dabbing your mouth subtly with a napkin. Steve nodded briskly, scanning the room before giving someone a cheery wave and pushing away. You looked at Loki, his sanctimonious shit-eating grin doing nothing to dampen the conflicted whirl of thoughts in your mind. The music faded behind the thump of blood in your ears as Loki took sip of his manufactured-date’s drink. You were suddenly parched. The ridges of your tongue felt uncomfortable against the roof of your mouth. His cheekbones hollowed as he sucked at the edge of the glass, setting it down before licking his bottom lip with a low moan. The visceral feeling of Loki’s teeth sinking into the soft skin of your shoulder shuddered through you, seeing his eyes glint in the dim party lights, relishing your awkward reaction. “Delicious.” he growled, running his eyes down to your cleavage and back to your face. “Shame about the dress, though. A bit too garish for you, Agent. A bit too...attention-seeking, perhaps.” “You’re ridiculous.” you sniffed haughtily, clasping the edges of the bar with straight arms. Your shoulders flexed, pushing your breasts up. “And you of all people can’t lecture me about seeking attention...which is not what this is, so I don’t know why you-” “Oh?” Loki cut in. He leant forward, beckoning you with a double flick of one thick fingertip. “Well it seems that whether you want it or not...you have it.” There was a pause. You could feel your traitorous pussy sliding against your thin panties, his unrelenting smarm making you want to pull him toward you and shut him up in the only way that seemed to work.

Loki sipped the cocktail again, nudging his head subtly towards the seating area to the side of the bar. You looked over, seeing Thor displayed uncomfortably on the sofa. He was leaning forward, one meaty elbow resting on his knee with the fist propped beneath his chin. His thighs were spread wide, his eyes twitching with murderous intensity as he stared at you like dinner. “He’s flirting with you.” Loki purred, a smile tugging at his lips. You snorted, feeling your cheeks heat. “He is not. I don’t know what he’s doing but it’s not that.” you garbled, wiping the bar with a damp cloth. A fizzing knot grew in your belly as Loki’s fingers drummed the marble between you nonchalantly. “In Asgard, we have very particular customs around colours, Agent. Are you aware?” You huffed, hoping that the clawing in your stomach would pass. “By wearing that misguided little sliver of crimson silk, you have aroused some very deep-seated urges within my brother that you wish to bed him tonight. To be ridden like a fine Asgardian mare. A fabled red flag to a particularly lacklustre bull, one might say.” You looked again at Thor, now massaging his thigh; his darkened gaze undressing you. He bit his lip, one eye closing in a slow, calculated wink. “Oh god…” you murmured dryly. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Agent. He’s not very good, I’m afraid. Especially considering your recently elevated standards.” You snorted. “I find it hard to believe that you guys are used to women traipsing around in your ‘colours’ waiting for their chance to shag you.” you hissed, throwing Thor a sideways glance. “I am not going to sleep with him. That’s absurd.” Loki looked at you silently, a closed smile stretching across his placid face before he spoke. “Oh, believe it Agent. We Asgardian princes never wanted for company. Even if my brother was a little less...discerning.” He smirked, enjoying every second of your growing discomfort. “And as for your intentions with him tonight, I recommend you alert him to your little misunderstanding sooner rather than later.” “And what about your little ‘misunderstanding’? You know she basically thinks you’re some kind of superpowered gigalo, right?” you sneered, seeing Loki’s eyebrows rise. He chuckled, shaking his head just as the woman surfaced from the throng of the crowd. She had pulled the neckline down, and you could have sworn that when she had left she had been wearing pantyhose beneath that party dress. “Who says I’m not, Agent?” he whispered covertly, pushing himself off the barstool as he leant closer. His cologne filled your nostrils, the musky tang making your mouth water. “You of all people know I can be anything she desires.” He tore his hardened gaze from your eyes to the beaming woman with an exaggerated smile. “Amanda, darling. Let’s dance, shall we?” he announced, peeling his long limbs from the barstool.

Amanda, you scoffed with a grimace as she melted willingly into his lean body. The glass you had picked up became the most interesting thing in the room as you tried to maintain an air of indifference, polishing it casually. You could feel Thor’s eyes burning into you as you stared at the crystal held between your fingertips. The synapses of your brain were fizzing, the temptation to look up to the dancefloor...irresistible. Fuck, you thought; feeling your eyes rising to the busy centre of the room. The crowd pulsed beneath the lights from the mirrorball over the sound of a remixed version of Rasputin. In that suit, his body was endless. The wide rim boots cut in solid angles at his knees, the hard meat of his thighs rising to the hem of the tunic flexing visibly through the fabric. His hand slid over the curves of her hips, ghosting her ass before pulling the keening woman tight to his broad chest.

Your eyes flickered to Rogers lurking in the shadows watching them. Arms crossed, brow furrowed in disapproval. Loki’s outfit clung like a luxurious second skin, every inch reacting to the movement of his limbs as he gracefully swayed her body to his. Amanda’s fingers ran up his torso, bumping over the curve of Asgardian gold. She tucked a long strand of hair behind his ear, her eyes smouldering with singular intent to fuck this heavenly creature in whose arms she somehow found herself tonight. But she doesn’t know him like I do, you thought with a grimace. She doesn’t know what he’s really like-

Loki swung her gracefully outward, pulling her back to him with a timed thrust of his muscular hips; bucking gently as her hand travelled lower. The stem of the elegant martini glass in your grip snapped. Primitive jealousy like you had never known surged through your blood like napalm, a ferocious shiver rolling across every nerve making your hair stand on end. The audacity of the god cut deep as you smacked the towel to the marble bar, making straight for the hatch. White noise filled your ears as you made your way over to the seating area, a flustered looking Thor standing to attention as you approached. Your fingers scraped at his shirt, managing to snag an inch of material not plastered to his frame. He jerked forward, the rough stubble of his cheek scratching against your skin. “Dance with me.” you purred into his ear, feeling his huge frame shudder. He growled, striding forward and tugging you roughly to the dance-floor. The shards of light from the mirrorball stung your eyes as Thor whipped you into his bulging arms, the cotton of his shirt straining dangerously against freakishly large biceps. Oh god, you thought as the room spun. You were vaguely aware of his large hands slipping down your waist, pulling you toward him with a firm tug. “My lady, you tease too brazenly. For too long I have coveted this.” he grunted, his hair scratching your eyes as he began to gyrate in time with Boney M. “Wha-what?” you squeaked, thinking of the years you’d spent side by side with not a hint of the heated desire seeping from him as he wound his imposing body around yours. “That dress…my colours” he smouldered, his eyes darkened with lust, “...it has lit a fire within me. I must have you.” One hand slid over your lower back, grasping the folded material of the red silk skirt. He growled again, tightening his fist; burying his face in your neck as he swayed deeper against your frame. Thor’s hot breath skated over the place his brother had made his mark the month prior, the pale bruise still visible in the harsh light of day.

“Thor…” you gasped breathlessly, pushing a palm against his chest as one belonging to another roughly smacked him on the shoulder, casting him backward. You gasped as Loki shoved you briskly to the side, stepping toward the blonde. “Ordinances of the Colours do not apply in this realm, brother.” Loki snarled, baring his teeth. The disco lights glinted on the gold adorning his suit; his fierce eyes flashing in confrontation. Your pussy tightened, seeing Loki’s fists clench by his sides. “Ordinances or not, brother...she claimed me as hers for this dance.” Thor postured, squaring up to the dark-god with a solitary step forward. “And this night, I believe.” He added, suggestively. “Ask her.” Loki shot you a look that would kill the weak. You swallowed, fighting the feeling of your knees attempting to buckle. “It’s true.” you said, much more calmly than you expected, your stomach fizzing. “I did. The dance, anyway.” Loki rolled his eyes. “Aren’t they missing you on the bar, Agent?” he spat, gesturing to the small queue of people hanging against the counter-top expectantly. It was your turn to roll your eyes, walking past him with a shove of your shoulder. It hurt. Fucking Laufeyson and his fucking ego- you thought furiously, hearing the brothers bicker theatrically behind you. Roger’s frustrated drawl soon intervened between them as you stared resolutely ahead on your path. Who the hell does he think he- Suddenly you were tugged roughly to the side. The heels you wore skated over the smooth floor as you careened into the dark hall passageway away from the humming crowd and thumping music. Long fingers clasped over your parted lips, your back thudding against the nearest wall as Loki loomed above you; resplendent and menacing in the gloom. The skintight tunic pressed against your cleavage, his hardening cock dragging slowly upward against your body with formidable intent. The god’s bottomless eyes were dark liquid as he stared down at you, hair falling in curled tendrils against your cheek. A muscle in his clenched jaw bobbed as he wet his lips. “Lead me to your rooms, Agent.” he enunciated quietly, his chest heaving with slow, heavy breaths. “Immediately.”

Continued in The Red Dress: Ruined (w/c 2.5k) Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection

Tags

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[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 莲花楼/Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Mysterious Lotus Casebook is a 2023 drama about a beautiful twunk who just wants to die of his chronic illness in peace, except that neither the dumbass purebred dog of a man who has decided they're best friends now nor the jock begging him for a rematch are going to let him go without a fight (in the latter's case, literally).

Also they ride around in a magical bamboopunk RV.

I have referred to it elsewhere as "the CW presents: Nirvana in Fire," and I stand by that assessment. (I orginally called it Tiger Beat Nirvana in Fire, before realizing that Kids These Days will not get that reference. Shout out to the other elder millennials in the audience!)

There's been a lot of English-speaking fandom buzz about this show, to the point where if you're in these circles, I'm sure you've heard about it before. I know I had by the time I started watching -- which left me largely unprepared for the actual viewing experience, because the parts of the show that fans talk about are not a representative sample of the show itself.

This drama can be a good time. It's fun to watch. It has some hilarious beats and also some emotional moments. It spent its not-huge budget very smartly, and as such is generally quite lovely to look at. As my League of Nobleman rec will attest, I appreciate raw materials, and this is a show that has some fascinating raw materials.

(Or some materials that need to get rawed, take your pick.) (Also, it's not my fault they didn't do a dramatically lit Fang Duobing shot so I could round out the trio here.)

You'll find some people out there who've gone real hard for this show, doing some deep analyses and getting really emotional over it. I don't want my gentle ribbing to give the impression that those silly fans are delusionally talking like the show's a five-star restaurant when it's really just a fast food joint. Not so! There's a reason it's captivated a whole lot of people! And in case you might be one of those, allow me to give you five reasons you should consider watching it.

1. This bitch

The main character, Li Lianhua/Li Xiangyi is probably 50% of the show's appeal all by himself. He's fascinating. He's gender. He's fashion. He's been afflicted with a substance we called "bitch poison" the whole time we were watching. He has many emotions. He cries a lot. He coughs up blood every other episode. Cheng Yi is putting his whole lianhuassy into this performance, and it shows.

I made the Nirvana in Fire comparison earlier, and I stand by it for a lot of reasons, but the truth is that he's actually much more Opposite Day Mei Changsu: Li Lianhua wants all this stuff to fuck off and leave him alone forever. He is not seeking vengeance, nor does he particularly want to Do Schemes, but Circumstances keep dragging him back into the thick of all this nonsense he thought he left behind when he (mostly) died ten years ago.

The thing is, he used to be a real dick back when he was a kid. And I mean a real dick. He was a dick to his chronically insecure adoptive older brother. He was a dick to his girlfriend with the personality of wet tissue paper. He was a dick to the handsome loser who liked his girlfriend. He was a dick to his followers. He was basically just a cocky little shithead who thought he was the best at everything -- and he actually was the best at everything, which just made it worse.

Li Xiangyi used to think everything (especially himself) was sooooo important, and now that life has massively kicked his ass, Li Lianhua had come around to the position that nothing is actually that important, so let's just all chill and grow vegetables. He doesn't want a rematch. He doesn't want to retake his rightful place as the head of anything. He just wants to pay his respects to the dead before he joins them.

Now will everybody please just stop moving into his house.

2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (affectionate)

As I mentioned earlier, everything I'd seen about the show on Tumblr had still left me absolutely unprepared for what a silly ride it is. Because it's silly. Hoo boy, is it silly. My wife dubbed it "lace front Phoenix Wright," just to give you a metric for how silly we're talking. Ace Detective Fang Duobing never cross-examined a parrot, but I feel he came close.

This show has some serious goof-ass jianghu nonsense -- you know, the sort of stuff that's impossible and ridiculous, except everybody’s going to treat it like it's just a normal part of existence. Here's a short and certainly inexhaustive list:

mind-controlling bugs

other bugs that control the mind-controlling bugs

ex-conjoined twins

a grown-ass man who can compress himself into bitchy third-grader

grave-robbing societies with secret brag language

so much nonconsensual qi-blocking performed by poking people in the boobs, that can't be safe, everybody wear thicker shirts

magical crossdressing powers

a bad guy who looks like this

a princess who can get abducted and sex-trafficked and, like, nobody really notices? huh.

healing childhood paralysis by the power of believing in yourself

a ... hallucination pit? what was that, anyway?

so. many. mechanisms.

the equivalent of the "he's only mostly dead" business from the Princess Bride

a gradually lethal bookshelf

the strange amnesia everyone suffers from where a dude can cover maybe 30% of his face and render himself immediately unrecognizable to long-time friends and associates

The thing is: I think this goof-ass jianghu nonsense is a legitimate selling point. I found it so fun. I turned off my need for show elements to obey little things like the laws of physics, and I had a good time. It can be a very funny drama, in part because it knows how silly a lot of its shit is, and it chooses to go full speed ahead with a sincere heart. If you are down for some shounen absurdity, you are in for a treat.

However:

2.2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (derogatory)

I'm granting myself a sub-point here, because this is an important qualifier for the previous point.

I'm going to assume, based on what I've seen from fan responses, that many of the people who really like this show actually don't like the goof-ass jianghu nonsense. They are here for the BL vibes (after all, there are three cute boys who alll have some intense emotions about one another), and therefore downplay all the parts that aren't that. I want to make it clear that this is not a bad thing to do. There are many, many properties where I myself fixate on a single element and toss the rest into the sea. No judgment here.

However, since this is a post written to convine you to watch something, I want to make it clear what you're going to get if you dive in. If you're one of those people who skips scenes and/or entire episodes when your ship of choice isn't onscreen, you're probably going to be doing that a lot here. (I mean, I can't imagine doing this, but Tumblr has taught me that fandom is a rich tapestry.) The bones are good, but the connective tissue can be questionable.

The main thing I wish I'd known before starting is that the mysteries are not the selling point. They are the celery that gets the cute boy peanut butter to your mouth. You, the viewer, absolutely cannot solve them; you're never given enough context or information to keep up with the detective lads, much less get ahead of them. Everyone does everything in the most convoluted way possible, to the point of comic absurdity. Finding out whodunnit is rarely that satisfying, because too often the culprit is Jianghu Steve, You Know, That Guy Over There With The Superpower The Characters All Know About But You'd Never Heard Of Before Thirty Seconds Ago.

The goof-ass jianghu nonsense feels like the place where the show I see fans talking about least lines up with the show that actually exists. And I think that's a shame, because I think the show that actually exists is actually a good time! It's just, you know ... silly.

3. Whenever Di Feisheng's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Di Feisheng?

This drama gets sold like it's the adventures of three guys together. (Hell, I kind of did it myself in the intro.) This is not the case. This is the tale of two guys who do most of the plot stuff near one another, and their occasional third, Di Feisheng.

This is a 40-episode series and I swear this guy's onscreen for maybe 15% of the time -- and for half of that, he's just off doing his own thing anyway. He disappears entirely for huge chunks of the series, which is a crime, because he is my absolute favorite.

He is the rare grumpy himbo. He doesn't just have resting bitchface, he has bitchface for all occasions. He somehow has bitchface even during the rare moments he actually smiles. He's got a whole traumatic backstory, but the traumatic backstory is not the reason for the bitchface. He's Just Like That.

(Important to note that the actor himself only slightly has a resting bitchface. Xiao Shunyao can look normal and indeed quite pleasant. He has simply leaned into it real hard for this grouch.)

The one -- one -- reason I can accept his being gone for so ding-dang much of the show is how often he re-emerges with perfect, hilarious timing. Thank goodness the show realizes how much comedic potential his character has, because his unexpected entrances are some of the best laugh-out-loud moments of the series. If the show had taken Di Feisheng as seriously as Di Feisheng takes himself, he would have been unbearable. As it is, he's an unmitigated delight.

While you losers were being heterosexual, he studied the blade.

He makes the perfect foil for both Fang Duobing, who's the human equivalent of a puppy trying to gnaw an elephant to death, and Li Lianhua, who just wants to be excused from this narrative. Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing are basically two dogs fighting over their favorite toy, and their favorite toy is Li Lianhua, who really wishes he weren't. Some of the most compelling and fun moments of the series are when these three losers are all together.

And these three losers are barely all together.

This show is Not Danmei. It's so Not Danmei that I had a tremendously difficult time while making this post finding either official images or screencaps with even two of them in frame at the same time, much less all three. It is, however, a Danmei Starter Kit. I mean, the tag on AO3 has, at present, 742 works in it (283 in English). That's just since July! There are years-old c-drama shows that have a fraction of that fan output! And I'm willing to bet a big reason why is how little the very intense boys with ridiculously compelling interpersonal dynamics actually interact onscreen.

But, I hear you asking, why would less of what the fans want equal more fan goo? Well, friends, that's exactly what the fan goo is for: filling in the blanks. And this here show has a lot of blanks. Look, I've made a very scientific diagram (that many people seem to agree with) about how this all works:

The Hump of Compelling Mediocrity is the place where the amount of stuff worth thinking about far outpaces what the show actually contains of said stuff textually. It is the ideal location for imagination adventures.

Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua's relationship in particular lives right in the middle of that hump, what with the huge gaps in their backstory and all. They are a pair made entirely of unanswered questions. What the hell is going on there? What's their whole history, beyond the big fight? Why are they like this about one another? The show refuses to say. Whatever you imagine, you're correct. Now go tell AO3 about it.

interlude: God's perfect dipshit

I feel like I'm engaging in Fang Duobing erasure in the rest of this post, since he's not at the tip of any of the points I'm making, so I'm going to add a picture of him here, because I love him and want to pinch his perfect little cheeks.

You know what I am shocked by? How the MLC/DMBJ reincarnation fics apparently have not taken hold yet. I give it another two months.

4. IT HAS A DOG

FOX SPIRIT, MY SWEET BABY

'You mean the dog gets a whole selling point to himself' yes the dog gets a whole selling point to himself, because he is a very good dog and a very good boy (and his actor is a very good girl)

Apparently he has a whole backstory in the novel that never gets included in the drama, including an explanation of why he's named "Fox Spirit," if you feel like going and reading up on that.

Sadly, Fox Spirit is in the show even less than Di Feisheng is, and that is a crime, because he could have solved all these silly human mysteries in thirty minutes flat, Wishbone-style.

Dogs are so good.

5. One bad, bad girl

Do you like an unhinged villainess? Someone who's been sucking down Crazy Juice since beat one? Because oh boy, this show's got one of those for you.

Jiao Liqiao wants two things: to rule the world, and to make Di Feisheng her pretty little housewife. And whomst among us does not understand these two impulses?

She's not even the Big Bad! She's mostly just Di Feisheng's personal nightmare. She is the type of woman for whom the phrase "he's just not that into you" was coined. You've got everyone around her telling her, honey, I don't even think I've ever seen him look at a pair of breasts, while she's already planned their whole wedding menu and reserved the venue.

She has spent the last ten years of Di Feisheng's extended vacation making sure she's the one who's actually in charge, functioning as the point person for all the other evil schemes going on. Instead of handing over the reins upon her himbo boss' return, she's just going to keep doing what she's good at. As long as he keeps doing exactly what she wants him to do, she's gonna let him do it. If he gets out of line, well, there's always Plan B (the B stands for Breaking all of his tendons and making the world's surliest RealDoll).

I love the fact that she's so obviously evil, and he can't see it. To a certain point, it's not his fault -- everyone who serves under him is pretty obviously evil, so that doesn't make her special. But she's real evil even above and beyond that, and his dumb ass can't stop thinking about Li Lianhua long enough to notice any of the hundred or so knives she's aimed right at his back. He's so uninterested in her constant advances that he doesn't register how wanting to fuck someone and wanting to overthrow someone are not mutually exclusive desires.

(Was I bothered throughout most of the series by how her lipstick should be a little more crimson and a little less coral? Yes, but I'm not going to hold it against her. She's busy doing evil stuff. She'll get over to the nearest Jianghu Sephora and restock one of these days.)

While the show occasionally sidelines or straight-up forgets about a lot of its supporting characters for several episodes at a time, it never forgets to check in on what Jiao Liqiao's up to. Claws out, hair done, she is at all times a constant glorious, scenery-chewing menace with excellent taste in terrible men. Absolute legend.

Bonus: These two sluts

They don't get to be a full point because they're not nearly in the show enough, but just look at them. This is peak male character design. Slutty undone hair and slutty bare forearms, be still my bisexual heart.

Going to give it a try?

iQiyi's got you exclusively, baby.

Have I sounded a little defensive in this rec? Yeah, probably. It's just that I know there's a big and pretty intense fandom out there for this already, and I feel like a jerk coming in and being like "sure, it's fun!" when people are posting about how it made them cry for weeks. I want to be clear that that's not a bad reaction to have, while at the same time also being clear that that's not the reaction I had.

I might not even have written this rec, had I not been nudged to -- not because I don't think it's worth watching (I clearly do!), but because I don't know how much help it needs from the likes of me. There are plenty of other evangelists out there that'll give much more enthusiastic recommendations (like this one).

But the truth is that not every show has to be a heartbreaking work of staggering genius to everyone. I watched the show, and I liked it, and I had a normal time.

I also think there's something to the way I watched it, which was: one episode per day, schedule permitting, such that it took nearly two months for me to finish it. (And before you think I singled MLC out for this, this is actually how I watch most c-dramas.) I bet binging it is a way different experience, one where what rises more readily to the top is the tragic throughline of Li Lianhua's whole deal. If you're inclined to skip things not immediately germane to your points of interest, this is definitely the show to take at a solid run.

I actually paused in the middle of making this rec and made the one for the Blood of Youth, because the two invite comparisons: jianghu tales with chronically ill protagonists, some imperial bullshit going on, pretty boys with swords being weird about one another. Mysterious Lotus Casebook did not grab me as hard as the Blood of Youth, because MLC went for a more understated take on all its nonsense, instead of shooting completely over the top, which is how I prefer my nonsense (as the record will show). If you take your silliness with a subtler flavor, this could be the perfect thing for you.

Maybe you'll wind up being one of those people who gets their whole insides totally ripped out by this drama! But even if you don't, you're probably going to have a good time watching it anyway. And really, what more can you ask for from a show than that?

Peace, nerds.

[tiajk]

Black coded!Karasuno manager headcannons

Warnings: cursing, reader flirting with every fine man because she can, chaotic karasuno, karasuno being readers found family, fem reader, miss reader is poly and ain’t afraid to show it, some sappy feelings, probably spelled people names wrong

It’s chaotic with the mfs all they do it scream, shout eat and play volleyball

You did those things to but they’re more annoying

Tanaka and nishi always finds new ways to make you know your the goddess you are

The first years are intimidated by you even tuskki (it depends on the day)

the third years love you ur probably there favorite underclassmen

kiyoko and you are close like knit tight she loves all that you do for the team and it makes her job a little easier she know that when she leaves the boys will be in good hands

Okay anyways you’ve always known you were that girl like your a pretty black girl in japan who wouldn’t want you

While everyone in karasuno agreed with you so do other schools

which is why tanaka and nishinoya are on guard duty half the time

so guy tries to come ask you for your number *cough* Terushima *cough* they will and i repeat they will start barking at bitches screaming at the top of there lungs “NO WAY IN HELL YOU CAN HAVE OUR MANAGER SHES OURS” it pisses you off to every end especially if there fine (which is all because all hainaut boys are gorgeous)

they hate when you are flirting with the other teams at camps *cough* Bokuto and Akaashi* “Bokuto your spikes are so good you have to teach me” while giving him heart eyes which the boy is eating up because a pretty girl flirting with him and complementing his skill SOLD

you couldn’t forget about the pretty boy setter for Fukurōdani you would always tell him “Akaashi its great that you look out for bokuto like that” he would get the hints but didn’t act on them and you were a patient women you could wait “you and i should hang out i wanna get to know you more” you weren’t lying at all…

Now the boys were fumming you would give them water instead of your own team YOUR THE CLUB YOU SIGNED UP FOR they were but hurt except for suga he knew you had to claim them because you had told him that older men just hit different

anyways when yachi had joined you had welcomed her with open arms as always our girl yachi was scared out of her pants your were intimidating you had a resting bitch face and it scared her to be honest but when she saw you smile she got scared about how pretty you were (i cannon yachi is Bi you can’t change my mind)

You loved enoshita he may have been on the quieter side but he was a good friend when you really needed him you had majority of classes with him so of course you guys had a tight knit he’s the reason why you joined the club

hinata and kageyama you loved them but they were actually kinda stupid all they would do it scream ans yell at each other they were like your children when ever you would confront them about there behavior they would come up with so many excuses “Y/n BUT KAGEYAMA WHAT BEING ANNOYING” “I WAS NOT YOU SHITHEAD” rubbing your temples as they continued to argue “if you don’t shut up i will never bury you food again” They shut there asses right up after that (rich y/n?!?)

your third years were your favorites asahi, dachi, suga, and kiyoko we’re like your parents they always made sure that you were eating correctly, had enough money, and that your mental/physical health was good you are their favorite and nothing can change there mind they do get upset when you go after people there age they know it’s not a big difference but they just wanna make sure your safe

Dacahi almost had an heart attack when you told him when Shiratorizawa match was about to start that you wanted him to put you on with ushijima and tendou (he did only because they asked about you)

yams was a angel sent from heaven he was so kind you loved playing with his hair it was so soft and fluffy and it was like a stress reliever you were trying to set him up with tsukki he’s not slick i know damn well he has a crush on him and vise versa tsukki was a piece of work you always had a response for his snarky ass mouth

tanaka, *sigh* tanaka hairs dog number 1 has never and never disrespected you once he knows if he did that you would twist his ass inside out but in all seriousness he loves you it can be romantic or platonic but he would die for you defend you against any creep or someone that makes you feel not worthy he’s your hype man he’s one of your best friends you love this hot sister too he hates when you bring it up tho

Nishinoya guard dog number 2 he’s short ass hell and clings to you like a dog he has been on thin ice when he’s trying to flirt with you but he knows his boundaries he always wants to show you new tricks he comes up with but mostly rolling thunder

COACH UKAI not gonna lie you thought this man was one of the hottest men alive and you weren’t wrong he was honestly surprised when there was 3 manager but he didn’t care more help he secretly liked you the most he lets you have free meat buns and sometimes stuff from the shop but he makes you swear not to tell anyone

Takeda he made you so happy he was like your sweet older brother he always grateful that you love it with the club you always try to bring kk spare money because you know how hard he believes in the the boy and would do anything for them

in conclusion you love your “job” and the boys love you you wouldn’t know what to do without them

[ugh-yoongi]

I haven't seen anybody write out Hobi being a librarian and I think that'd be soo cute! Sweet Hobi all smitten on a regular reader, and of course, they're a regular for a reason, but both are too nervous and self-conscious to act on any of their desires.

oh, this is so soft, i love this so much. thank you for sending it in! i hope you enjoy. <3

we're celebrating jess's birthday! hobi hours are: OPEN.

low key, no pressure

pairing: hoseok x reader (no pronouns used) genre: mutual pining, librarian au; fluff warnings: swearing, hobi being a cute disaster, this is kind of idiots to lovers but since the lovers development is implied i didn't tag it that way but just know it's there ok, taehyung is a shithead, mostly unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 1.6k

Hoseok is a little misguided, is the thing.

What counts is that he has good intentions, even if they don’t hold up under closer examination. But he’s sort of a disaster of a human, so he takes Taehyung’s ribbing on the chin and forges ahead with his plan.

All because he doesn’t know how to talk to you.

He knows your favorite book because you check it out at least once a month. He knows your favorite flower because there’s a bouquet of them tattooed so artfully on your arm they look painted on. He knows your name and your address and your phone number because it’s in the system, and he has enough sense not to do anything with them.

“You could just—and I’m just spitballing here—say hello.”

Hoseok frowns. “I say hello every time…?”

Taehyung is a year younger, so it feels weird to disappoint him. Settles in his stomach all funny, like he’s doing something wrong but can’t figure out what it is. “That’s not—” Taehyung sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you always like this? Like, this is your baseline?”

“I’m not following.”

“Clearly,” Taehyung mutters. He looks good today, Hoseok thinks. Looks like he’d woken up and put actual effort into his appearance. Looks like the summer has favorites. Doesn’t at all look like he’s on the verge of a mental break, which is more than Hoseok can say about himself. “Hyung, I’m going to ask this point-blank—”

“Maybe don’t? I’m fragile.”

“—Do you know how to flirt?”

Hoseok scoffs, all instinct. Of course he knows how to flirt. He’d flirted his way through undergrad and then grad school with great success. He flirts with the grumpy IT guy the city sends over, just because it’s funny to watch his cheeks turn a shade of red he’d previously thought was impossible. Hell, he flirts with stupidity every single day, so who is Kim Taehyung to ask him such a thing?

“Don’t ask silly questions, Taehyungie.”

“So you’re saying you do?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Okay,” Taehyung shrugs, and Hoseok sighs in relief, glad that particular interrogation is over. “Flirt with me, then.”

And then he’s choking on his tea, expensive cashmere sweater now soiled with half a cup of honey vanilla chamomile. “You asshole,” he wheezes, barely able to get the words out before his throat constricts again, warning him of another impending coughing fit. “My sister bought me this sweater.”

“Noona has great taste,” comes Taehyung’s easy reply, paying no mind to Hoseok at all, “which is to be expected, of course. Now, please flirt with me once you’ve recovered.”

“Why?” Hoseok snaps, because the way he’s blotting at his sweater with a soggy napkin is humiliating. He doesn’t even have a change of clothes anymore; had taken his gym bag out of his car a few weeks ago when he’d gotten the flu.

Taehyung sighs again—put-upon, like he’s dealing with an obtuse child. “Because I’m trying to facilitate true love, and I can’t send you into battle unprepared.”

Hoseok just glares. He’s going to have to spend his lunch break running back to his apartment to change.

Right, the plan.

It’s all dependent on you sticking to your routine, which goes like this: every Sunday afternoon, without fail, you swing by the library and make pleasant small talk with Taehyung as you return your books. Taehyung, without fail, asks what you thought of them and recommends new ones accordingly. You always smile and say thank you, and your voice always sounds like church bells.

(“That’s because you want to mar—” “I will fire you if you finish that thought.”)

Hoseok is always conveniently absent during these exchanges, pretending to do paperwork in his office. This is why Taehyung calls him a coward, and that’s probably true, it’s just… Hoseok has talked to you enough times to develop a big fat crush, and that’s not acceptable. He doesn’t even know you; doesn’t want to romanticize you and put you on a pedestal.

Hence the plan.

If he can’t talk to you with words, he’ll do it with books.

It’s genius, regardless of what Taehyung thinks.

But Taehyung is integral to the plan, so Hoseok has to get him on board. “Look, I already put it together, I just need you to… suggest it.”

“You mean be manipulative.”

“It’s not manipulative,” Hoseok argues, sending a glare Taehyung’s way. “It’s no different from you suggesting books any other time.”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t just say hi, I really dig your taste in literature, would you like to grab a coffee sometime? It’s not that hard, hyung, you really don’t need to do all of…” He points at the stack of books Hoseok has assembled. “...This.”

There’s about three seconds before Hoseok explodes, and Taehyung must realize it because he’s throwing his hands up and going fine, fine and helping sort the books.

As annoying as Taehyung can be, he really is a great salesman.

Powerful, too, because Hoseok wouldn’t have lasted a second in your presence. Probably would’ve melted under the warmth of your smile; would’ve withered as soon as you strolled in with your tattoo visible; would’ve fallen to his knees the second you said hello.

Taehyung has done none of those things, which Hoseok knows because he’s standing on a chair, watching from the window in his office. He knows Taehyung can see his face peeking through the blinds, keeps rolling his eyes whenever the two of them make eye contact, but he schools his expression and keeps Hoseok’s secret safe.

“I actually have some special recommendations for you today,” he hears Taehyung say. Watches as he hands over the bundle of paperbacks. “Our lovely head librarian thought you might be interested in these. He picked them out just for you.”

You look taken aback. It sends Hoseok into a panic, wondering if he’d gone too far. Maybe he should’ve listened to Taehyung, after all, but surely a stack of books is less forward and weird than a coffee date? You can just not read the books and return them if they aren’t your thing, but turning someone down face-to-face is much harder.

No, no—Hoseok did the right thing. He has to have faith in the plan.

“Wow,” you reply, a beautiful smile lighting up your face. “These look great. Please tell him I said thank you.”

Taehyung’s smile is not beautiful. It’s greasy and smarmy. “Oh, I most certainly will.”

Taehyungie (11:32am): Can’t make it into work today, hyung Taehyungie (11:32am): I’m super sick Taehyungie (11:32am): Sorry 😉

Hoseok can’t believe what he’s seeing.

Kim Taehyung is a traitor. A treasonist. A miscreant. Another word for a disloyal person who is not only willing to abandon his hyung in his time of need, but is gleeful about it.

What could Hoseok possibly have done in a past life to deserve this?

Doesn’t matter, he decides. This is totally fine. Hoseok’s going to prove Taehyung wrong. He’s going to have a proper conversation with you. He’s going to ask what you thought about the books he’d chosen. He’s going to recommend new ones. He’s going to flirt. He might even ask if you want to grab coffee sometime, and he’s going to relay all of this to Taehyung right before he tells him to go to hell.

Just one small hiccup: he has to survive you first.

You’re surprised to see him, and the way your eyes widen makes Hoseok’s heart skip a beat. God, he’s worse off than he thought. Gets worse when you reach the circulation desk and he can smell your perfume: something soft and earthy that reminds him of a spring breeze. Has his knees shaking, on the verge of buckling beneath him, and it’s only through pure spite that he stays upright.

“Good afternoon,” he says with a small wave.

You smile. “Hi, Hoseok. Haven’t seen you up here in a while.”

“Ah, well, you know. Paperwork.”

You nod, but the jerky motions of your head tell Hoseok you probably don’t do much paperwork at your job. “Yeah, of course. Is Taehyung out today?”

“Yep, took a sick day.” He shouldn’t, but he thinks Taehyung deserves it: “Sent me a text this morning and said it was coming out both ends. Seems bad.” You’re grimacing. Oh god, you’re grimacing. “Anyway! Here for your weekly return?”

Like a switch has been flipped, you scramble into action, reaching into your tote bag to retrieve the books. “I—yeah, sorry, let me just…”

“Sure, take your time. Did you like them?”

“Yes,” you answer, gaze slowly rising to meet his own. There are words clearly biting at the back of your teeth and, like Hoseok has done a million times before, you swallow them. Slowly, you hand over all the books but one. “I especially liked this one.”

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. Hoseok had agonized over that one for days, wondering if it was too much, if it’d send the wrong message. Some of the other books were more obvious, but this one was… well. It’s not what was said that’s important, it’s what wasn’t, and Hoseok had concocted that stupid plan because he couldn’t say what he wanted to.

But you’re handing it over with a hesitation that has Hoseok smiling despite himself. “Would you like to hang onto it a little longer?”

“Would that be okay?”

“Of course.” And then, because he’s brave and he doesn’t want to end up like one of Ishiguro’s characters, he takes advantage of a fleeting moment of bravery. “Maybe we could—aish. Would you like to discuss it over coffee sometime? The book, I mean. With me.”

You nod, and your smile is shy. “I would love to.”

[osamusriceballs]

Birthday surprise

Hinata x fem reader

Words: ~ 1,3 k

Warnings: A bit NSFW

About: You have a nice birthday surprise for your boyfie~

A/n: Happy Birthday to our beloved human tangerine. I love him so much and I wish him the bestest birthday ever~

"Shoyo, what are you doing there? You need to get ready."

"Oh, sorry, I'm coming. I was just checking my phone. I got a message from y/n."

Hinata freezes.

A state that is almost unnatural for him. It is indeed a message from you - or rather a picture. With you in it. Barely clothed, wearing only white underwear and orange stockings - as bright as his hair. No words added, just you laying there seductively on his bed in lingerie, presenting your body to the camera in a way that makes all his blood rush south.

Holy... he instantly darkens the screen, quickly looking over his shoulder to see if someone looked at his phone. And indeed, he faces an equally stunned Atsumu, whose eyes are still fixated on Hinata's darkened screen. A few seconds pass and neither of them moves. The only sounds right now come from their teammates who have already started their training. Until Hinata's screen gives up and turns fully black.

"Uhm..." Atsumu awkwardly coughs and looks away, a faint tint of pink on his cheeks. "I guess you're going to have a fun birthday night, Shoyo-kun."

It's impossible for Hinata's face to turn even redder at this point. Even his ears are burning, and he laughs awkwardly to mask his inner panic. "What makes you think that?"

Atsumu's face drops, and Hinata internally wishes to sink into the ground for saying something as stupid as that. Why did he focus more on this instead of just changing the topic? "Do you really want me to say it out loud?" A slight grin now forms on Atsumu's face, and Hinata regrets speaking even more. Damn, he regrets ever learning how to speak at all.

"Please don't-"

"Don't sweat it, Shoyo-kun. I'd be happy to have a girl like y/n send pictures like that. Do you think I'll ever find someone who wears hot stuff in my hair color? Maybe I should go back to black. I like that whole black and lacy stuff, but then I'd look like that ugly shithead Samu. Or red. Red's hot too. I don't know if I'd look good in red. What do you mean, Shoyo-kun?"

While Atsumu is busy rambling, Hinata quickly takes his phone and buries it in his bag. He'll take the time to look at the picture during their break. Probably take his phone with him to the restroom to have a proper look. But even the short glimpse he just had is enough to get him riled up and longing for you. Longing to touch you, to feel the soft fabric and your even softer skin under his fingers. He wants to properly thank you for wearing this set just for him and to hear you softly say his name after he kisses you. He knows he won't be able to focus now because of you.

"Shoyo? Are you listening?" The sudden snarl of the blonde in front of him makes him perk up his head, his cheeks still incredibly warm and red.

"Oh, sure, Miya-san. Red is a nice color."

Atsumu blankly stares at him, and Hinata wonders how long he zoned out. He only faintly remembers Atsumu talking about hair colors. "Yer hopeless."

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Don't. And don't ya dare to let my good sets go to waste today. I'll make ya regret it, Shoyo-kun."

Hinata nervously smiles and quickly jogs to the court, ignoring Atsumu right behind him and hoping that he'll forget what he saw. After all, that picture was only meant for his eyes and his eyes alone.

_____________

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

"What happened? Are you okay?"

The stress in Hinata's voice is evident. You don't know if you have ever heard him so depressed before.

"The picture you sent me," he starts, and the blood drains from your face. Your fingers clutch around the phone in your hand tightly, and you involuntarily press the device harder against your ear.

"Did you not like it? I'm sorry, I'll just delete it. We can pretend it never happened. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." You nervously fidget with the hem of the straps, mentally burning the damn lingerie in a bonfire.

"What? No, no! Don't delete that picture. I've been hard ever since I saw it. I love it."

Your cheeks warm at his sudden confession and the way he casually tells you something explicit. He probably doesn't even realize how hot he sounds.

"It's just... when I opened it, Miya-san was right behind me. He saw it too. I'm so sorry. I know that you trust me, and I don't want to break your trust. Can you forgive me? I would never show these kinds of pictures to my friends. Please believe me!"

It takes you a few seconds to fully understand what he's telling you.

"Baby? Are you still here? Please say something. I didn't- please-"

"Shoyo, it's fine. It's okay. I still trust you. I should have told you that you need to look at the picture in private. I don't mind." You smile at his concern, at the way he's always trying to make everything right, to be the perfect boyfriend. But that sometimes puts a lot of stress on him.

"You know that I love you, right? That won't change a thing. And I'm pretty sure that Miya-san will never mention it, especially not in front of me. Deep down, he's actually very considerate and nice, even though he doesn't often show that side."

The exhale of relief on the other side makes you smile a little, and you're glad that he feels better now.

"I love you too, y/n. Thank you. Thank you for being so patient and understanding with me."

"Hey, it's your birthday after all. I can't be mad at my birthday boy. And, um... I've got some more pictures if you want to see them? I even made a short video of me... um... doing things." You feverishly blush at the end of your words, now clutching the sheets underneath your hand while you wait for his answer.

Hinata's tone is more dark and serious when he answers, and damn, it's always so hot to hear him talk like this. "What kind of things? I think I need to know before you send something. You have to be very specific."

Your breath hitches in your throat, and a slight shiver runs down your body. "I... touched myself. I thought about how you'd do it and touched my breasts, and then rubbed my... clit." You're proud of how steady these words come from you, and he releases a deep breath before he answers.

"Oh? What a good girl you are for me. How about you send me those pictures and videos, and I'll send you some in return? Show you what you do to me. And when I'm home, I want you to show me everything you did again. I need to see if you're properly touching yourself for me when I'm not there. Understand, baby?"

You only manage to nod breathlessly, a soft hum escaping your lips at his words, and the tingling feeling between your legs starts to make your mind dizzy.

"Shoyo, when will you come home? I need you." You can basically hear how he runs his hand through his wild orange hair in frustration because he can't be with you right now.

"Just two more hours. Can you manage, baby? Can you prep yourself for me? And when I come home, I'll get my present, nice and wet for me?"

You nod your head and quickly gasp a "yes-" already anticipating the moment he will come home.

"Such a good girl for me. Such a good girl on my birthday. I have to go, but make sure to send me those pictures, okay? I'll see you soon."

"Okay, Shoyo. I love you."

"I love you more." You quickly select the pictures in your camera roll and press send, only to receive an immediate response consisting of three pictures showing the rock-hard bulge underneath his tight boxers while he has his shirt between his teeth to expose his chest. A quick message follows that almost makes you drop the phone.

"Can't wait to see you, baby."

[girlwithalotoffeelings]

You've done it. I've been infected with the virus of A/B/O. I cannot escape it 😔 Congrats \_(•~•)_/

Dude it's like the black plague. I didn't know I was into it until I read what kind of intimacy can be born from the dynamic. For all my infected babes out there <333

Nights like these.

You're in bed scrolling through your Instagram feed when you hear a rough thud not to far away. Followed quickly by your doorbell. You get up cautiously. Now if you knew anything from horror movies you knew the cardinal rule about following the creepy sounds past 1 am. That gut feeling didn't set in though. That ache in the deepest pit of your stomach. That voice in your head screaming "TURN THE FUCK BACK RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" just never seemed to come.

You look into your peep-hole to see that oh so familiar red hair. Unlocking and opening the door as quick as you can to reveal a scuffed up and bruised Red Riot standing in front of you.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" His ever present smile never faded, not once. God you loved that smile, sharp teeth and all. It triggered a form of cuteness aggression in you. Where all you ever want to do is bite on him and leave a graveyard of marks in your wake. You step aside for him to enter your apartment.

"No, no you didn't. I was awake." Closing the door behind him, not even bothering to lock it again. No one was going to mess with you or your place and even if they did, you knew you were safe in the care of the alpha courting you.

You pulled out a first aid kit that you keep in the kitchen while Kirishima sat down on the couch with a groan. You could see he was in pain and was just putting on a brave face. He does that more often than he'd care to admit.

Sitting next to him taking out a few sheets of guaze and disinfectant.

"Thank you for going through all this trouble but I really didn't come over to get you to patch me up." He let's out one of his signature giggles, followed by a rough cough, which has him wincing.

"Did you really come over, thinking I wouldn't atleast try?" You proceed to clean the deep gash across his bicep. You delicately blow over the ripped skin, shortly after, you see it slowly start to stitch itself back together like it never even happened. Only a scar to show for it. That was your quirk. "Patchwork". You could attach things together, a wonderful tool for a clumsy shithead who is constantly breaking shit accidentally.

You continue to go over each cut with the tenderness of a Saint.

"I'm so lucky." He says with a slight touch of his finger to your cheek, bringing you out of your concentration. When you look into his eyes all you see is the admiration he has for you. Fuck, you smell it on him, it's palpable. You doubt he even realizes the scent he's giving off. It brought a whole new meaning to the saying "there's love in the air".

Now, you by no means would ever presume to think he loves you. Infatuation, sure, but love was hard to believe.

"Is that so?" You lift a playful eyebrow at him and continue your work with a cheeky smile gracing the corners of your lips.

"Ofcourse it is sweetheart." He's beaming now, you've never had to suppress the urge to attack him... in more ways than one. But you'd contain yourself, after all you can't heal him, then immediately hurt him. Even if he might enjoy it. "Remember the day we met?"

"Mhmm the day my life changed forever" You get up from beside him to return the first aid kit to its home before making your way back to him, sitting cross-legged on your sofa facing the big burly alpha who you were slowly getting more and more attached to.

"You were taking pictures in the park. I couldn't take my eyes off you. It was like you caught me in your spell." He gently pulls you closer to him, resting your legs on top of his own, effectively pulling you into his side.

"I knew that love spell from WitchTok would work." You chuckle, your quick wit never ceased to put him in awe. But then you realise what actually has him stunned. Shit.

"Well, I-I didn't mean it like- I mean we haven't really talked abo- fuck I'm an idiot." You cover your face with your hands as your cheeks flush hot red at the position you've put yourself in.

He didn't share in your awkwardness, though, merely pulling you closer to him and ruffling his nose in your hair. "C'mere sweetheart." You can hear his smile as he pulls you into his lap, straddling him. You don't currently have the storage for any more embarrassment in your spirit for it to take the forefront. Your head was bowed, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Can I see those beautiful eyes of yours?" He rubs gently circles into your skin with his thumbs where his hands rest on your thighs.

You take a minute before humoring his request with a cautious peek under your lashes through the cracks in your finger defense. "You can do better than that."

You take a huge breath him, filling your lungs. Running your fingers through your hair, looking up at the ceiling and exhaling before looking him dead on. Your arms crossed over your chest, hands on your shoulders. You were sure you had completely and utterly fucked up.

"There she is." God you love that goofy smile of his, full of warmth.

"I'm sorry, that was dumb." You give an awkward laugh, averting your eyes to the side.

"No, no, no, don't be sorry, sweets." He shakes his head. After a few moments pass he says, "I remember what you told me about your ex, how whenever they said they loved you, they didn't really mean it. I didn't want you to think that if I said it I wouldn't actually mean it. I thought it would be better to let it happen at its own pace, let you get comfortable with the idea of being loved, and appreciated again before bombarding you with it." Now he was the one with blushed cheeks. "I just didn't want to scare you off, I guess." The look on him is so earnest it almost brings a tear to your eye. How was the man in front of you this thoughtful?

It doesn't take much thought before you're leaning forward, arms circling his shoulders, meeting your lips to his. His arms wrapping around you and holding you to him like he never wants to let go. You're so sure this is the best moment of your life. You're positive this kiss is better than any sex you've ever had before. You part from each other, and melt into a hug.

"I wanted to encourage you, that's why I let out those pheromones. I dont know if you even noticed honestly." He whispers into the silence, you can hear a sliver of hurt and insecurity wiggle its way into his voice. It sends a pang of pain to your chest.

You pull back to look him in the eyes. "Ofcourse I noticed!" You say louder than you intended to. Your 2-3 coming out as a 5-6. You quickly regain yourself with a light smile as you take in the sight of him again. "I thought it was an accident, or that I was confused or something." He breaks into a smile, and before you know it, you both are belly laughing at the utter absurdity of it all.

"I love you." You say once the laughs turn to giggles.

"I love you, Sweetheart." He kisses you on the cheek with an exaggerated smooch sound before softly biting down on the fleshy chub of your cheek, making you squeel out a giggle. He loved hearing it, its gotya be his favoritesound on the planet. The sound of your happiness. "And I mean it, no accidents or confusion about it. Must've been a really good spell you found huh?"

God, this man was amazing.

In conclusion I need a man like this. SADGIRL HRS fr

This man always has me giggling, bro. This was so much fun to write

My inbox is open so send me in some asks SFW or NSFW.

See ya'll next time sluts, byeeeee

[mediocres-writing-blog]

Mortal Kombat: Enenra's Shadow

Chapter 5: Fight For Freedom

CW: Gore (duh), foul language, writing that twitter would fucking hate

Viktor woke up in a prison cell, quickly realizing his right hand was missing, and miraculously it was serrated and not bleeding, but god damnit did it hurt. He then saw Sub Zero, the man who shattered his hand, walk into the room. Viktor was furious to see him.

SUB ZERO: I see you’ve woken up. Good.

He said with a deep tone. Viktor was still a bit sleepy. And because of that, his mouth didn't work properly. 

VIKTOR: Wait, what time is it? 

SUB ZERO: 11 pm. Now, why did you attack my men, crippled none and stole from our sacred grounds? 

Viktor tried to make up a lie on the spot. But, alas, the boy was a horrible liar. His hands started shaking.

VIKTOR: I… Uh... I'm a florist, I sell flowers for a living and I needed the flower to complete my collection, you see, and uh- and then... uh...

SUB ZERO: You are a terrible liar. Tell me the truth, or else I'll take more than an arm from you.

Viktor's breath got quicker and sweat fell down his neck. The teen's heart was beating fast, and his body was shivering. As he looked the bastard dead in the eyes, his terrified expression turned into a face of pure rage, he started to speak in his native language. 

VIKTOR: <Eat my asshole, you son of a bitch.>

The Lin Kuei Grandmaster didn't understand what he said, but he knew it wasn't a compliment. He grabbed his collar, ready to beat the kid senseless, until Sektor walked into the room. Bi-Han let go of the boy, and turn to the armorer.

SEKTOR: You wanted me here, Grandmaster?

SUB ZERO: Precisely, Sektor. You must interrogate him while I take care of the contents inside of his bag. Get the information by any means necessary.

SEKTOR: Understood, Grandmaster.

She said, as Bi-Han exited the room. Viktor was sitting there, thinking what she could do to him. He was shaking as she approached her. 

SEKTOR: Now, then. Why are you really here?

Viktor held what remained of his hand, looking Sektor as serious and unfazed as possible. Sektor looked down, exhaling, then looked at the boy.

SEKTOR: You may have fooled Bi-Han, but nothing gets passed me. So tell me: What. Do. You. Want. Here? 

VIKTOR: Nothing special, really. 20 bucks, some vodka and a bag of chips. Maybe a quick fuck too, who knows--

Sektor punched the boy with her metal gauntlet into the brick wall. 

SEKTOR: Stop joking. This is no laughing matter. Now answer. The. Question. Or else I'll beat you into a bloody pulp.

Viktor started coughing, as Sektor received a call, and answered it by pressing a button on her helmet.

SEKTOR: What is it?

HYDRO: Please send search parties all through the temple, we have an intruder and now he's gone!

Sektor sighed in disappointment.

SEKTOR (to Viktor): I'll be right back. Don't move an inch.

VIKTOR (weakly): I just might. 

He said, as she walked away. Enenra was now awake.

VIKTOR (sarcastically to Enenra): Welcome back, shithead.

ENENRA: Look, I'm sorry for leaving you on your own back there, but I got a plan. You see that  knife over there?

Enenra grumbled, turning Viktor's attention to a knife on the floor.

VIKTOR: ...No.

ENENRA: The wound on your arm is already sealed, but if you can re-open it, I could grow you a new hand.

VIKTOR: That's bullshit.

ENENRA: Do you think someone is going to fall out of the ceiling to rescue you and give you something to help you out?

And as Enenra said that, out of the ceiling fell the man from the cafe. 

NICO: Hi. No time to explain, grab your shit, I'm breaking you out of here.

Enenra slithered out of Viktor's shoulder, surprised.

ENENRA: Wait a fucking minute. You're the old man from the shop. What are you doing here?

Nico pulled his mask down and smiled.

NICO: Surprise. Now, let's go, I have a plane waiting for us.

He opened the cell and handed him the knife.

VIKTOR: Thanks, but I hope it's not a bad time to ask...

Nico looked at the boy, with a bit of confusion.

VIKTOR: Can you just cut my hand here? Like, open the wound? Asking for him.

He said, pointing to Enenra on his shoulder.

VIKTOR: He says if you do, he can heal my arm.

Nico, hesitant, approached the boy and quickly cut the wound. Viktor inhaled and grinned his teeth, after which Enenra covered the wound, begining the healing process.

ENENRA: Now, without any food, that should heal in about three days.

VIKTOR: We don't HAVE three days!

NICO: Hmmm... What kind of food?

Enenra and Viktor looked at each other, then at Nico.

ENENRA: A brain. Preferably human.

NICO: Gotcha. 

Nico snapped his fingers, as his daggers flew up and dragged the body of a Lin Kuei down onto the floor, after which his daggers came back to him.

NICO: Will this do?

ENENRA: HELLS YEAH!!!

Enenra covered Viktor's body and in seconds, consumed the body's head. Enenra deactivated and Viktor stuttered around a little from a headache. Quickly he pulled himself together, as he could feel his hand tickle slightly. Nico rushed in to hold the boy.

NICO: You good?

Viktor breathed semi-heavily, but giggled very lightly.

VIKTOR: Yeah. It even kind of tickles.

Nico exhaled, but then turned to the door, as he heard several footsteps. 

NICO: We gotta get the fuck out, now.

Nico said, as he grabbed Viktor's arm and the two ran. Viktor's hand was now half-way healed, as they almost encountered a hallway full of Lin Kuei armed to the teeth with the new armors that resembled Sektors. 

NICO (quietly): That goopy demon thing could reeeally come in handy right about now.

VIKTOR: Right. Enenra? Suit me up.

ENENRA: Copy!

Enenra suited Viktor up, and the two ran straight through the wall of the armored Lin Kuei. They didn't kill anyone, but fairly beat the shit out of each and every single one of them. After beating them, Nico had a bad idea. So bad, infact, it was good.

NICO: Hey, we should light this place up.

ENENRA: That sounds--

Enenra's face opened, revealing half of Viktor's face.

VIKTOR: TERRIBLE! We are not lighting anything on fire!

NICO: Oh, come on! It'll be fun. Besides, that'll stop them from following us for a good amount of time.

Viktor looked down onto the floor, before looking up and taking a deep breath.

VIKTOR: I'll think about it. Right now, we have to escape before--

SEKTOR: There you are!

Before he could finish his sentence, Sektor and Bi-Han found the two.

VIKTOR: That. Before that.

The three turned around, eyeing the armorer and Grandmaster.

NICO: I'll take on the furious blueberry, you get the dollar store robot.

Viktor and Enenra looked at Sektor with determination, responding to Nico in unison.

VIKTOR & ENENRA: Deal.

The two charged, Nico at the Grandmaster and Viktor at the Mechanic. The Red Robin had an advantage on the Grandmaster with his kicks and punches, while Enenra was trying their best not to permanently injure the armorer but it was tough, given her metal armor. Enenra tried and tried to land a hit, only to be blocked. Then, they managed to punch her with a tendril. They heard a crack in her visor. Sektor was a bit disoriented, but managed to get up and block his unexpected hits from behind. While she was turned around, Enenra poked her back, and decked her in the helmet so hard, she flew seven meters backwards. Not dead, just her armor is so damaged she can barely move. She pulled up her visor as Enenra looked down at her. 

ENENRA: Even if I wanted to, I won't kill you. You're only his lackey, after all.

Enenra turned around to look for Bi-Han. In seconds, he discovered that Sub Zero and Red Robin took the fight outside. While Viktor and Enenra were fighting Sektor, the Grandmaster kicked Nico through the door, knocking him to the floor of the training grounds.

SUB ZERO: For meddling with the Lin Kuei’s business, you shall face death.

Nico would laugh, spinning his knife in the air before catching it.

NICO: I may be a bit old, but this ain't where I bite the dust.

Bi-Han scoffs, as Nico rushes in to hit him from above. Bi-Han predicted this, and grabbed his leg, slamming him into the floor.

NICO (thinking to himself): Okay, now I'm really hoping the writer is on my side.

He got up and dodged an ice blast from Sub Zero, and left a small slash Sub Zero's face. Nico chuckles, hopping around while Bi-Han looked furious as he wiped blood from his face.

NICO (playfully): What's the matter, cold balls? Never got touched by a blade before? heheh..

And Nico saying that was Bi-han's last straw, as his rage grew. He shot an ice blast, hitting and freezing Nico's hand.

NICO: Oh, shit!!

Bi-Han, using that as a distraction, grabbed his throat, slamming him to the floor. Nico groaned as he struggled for his life.

SUB ZERO: Give up. Your life is already over.

Nico's eyes roll back a little, and as his eyes fully close, he tries to have a laugh.

SUB ZERO: ...What is your illness? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!!??

NICO: Because... 

He coughed, trying to say something as Bi-Han's grip grew tighter.

NICO: ... He's about to kick your ass.

Nico said as Bi-Han looked up and saw Enenra's hand stretch out to punch him almost off of the cliff. Nico could breathe again, as Enenra unmasked himself, and half of Viktor's sleep deprived eyes looked at him with pure determination.

VIKTOR & ENENRA: Time to tag out, old man. He's mine..

NICO: Go get'im, kiddo.

Enenra would suit Viktor, and the duo would dash in to attack. He'd try his best, but Bi-Han had an advantage on him.

SUB ZERO: I know what you are. His weakness is also your own. You cannot hope to defeat me, foolish child.

Enenra would push himself away from the Grandbastard, standing upright.

VIKTOR: You know? Perhaps you're right, you are stronger, smarter and far more experienced... I have something you could never hope to have.

He said as Enenra dashed in and attacked. As Bi-Han attempts to freeze his hand, Enenra would kick the Grandmaster to the side, causing him to lose balance.

VIKTOR: A reason to keep fighting… 

He said as he grabbed and tossed the Lin Kuei into a wall. 

ENENRA: …And dirty tactics!

Bi-Han threw ice-blasts at the demon, freezing his limbs, which just kept growing back as Enenra menacingly approached him and unmasked Viktor.

VIKTOR: Now, I'm about to repay you, for what you did to me...

The boy said as he picked him up by the collar.

VIKTOR: This. Is for my arm.

He said, as the Grandmaster was tossed into the wall.

VIKTOR & ENENRA: And THIS is for the people we had to fight in order to find that fucking flower!

Enenra masked him again and before he can deliver the killing blow, Sektor intervened by shooting a missile at Enenra, which barely fazed him. Enenra turned to his right to eye the armorer, who was carrying the bag in one hand and a weapon in the other. Enenra unsuited Viktor, except his left hand, which he was using to hold Bi-Han against the wall.

VIKTOR: Well, I'll give you this, you're persistent. If anything.

BI-HAN: Don't let her stop you. Kill me. I'd rather die than let the Lin Kuei fall into the hands of a monster like you.

VIKTOR: Bro, even if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't take over your shitty little ninja fanclub. I came here for the flower that is currently around her hips and that's it. 

Viktor would turn to Sektor, who was walking closer and closer. She readied her weapon at him.

VIKTOR: Speaking of which...

Sektor turned her weapon at Nico who was still on the ground. She pinned him down with nowhere to run as Viktor watched in disbelief.

VIKTOR: Hey, what the FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

He said, turning to the armorer who stood over the masked man.

SEKTOR: My job. You kill the grandmaster, he dies.

NICO: You know, I didn't think that this is how I'd go out but I mean if you're offering--

He said, struggling as Sektor stomped on his ribs.

VIKTOR (quietly): Don't you dare...

Sektor pressed a button and started charging her missile.

NICO: Viktor, calm down...

VIKTOR: YOU ARE BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT, HOW AND WHY SHOULD I!?

NICO: Because... 

He said, as his daggers started flying from the bench behind him and slash Sektor's ankle, and she fires her missiles's into the sky, leaving an opening for Nico to kick her away from him and leave her on the ground for a minute, jumping back on his own feet. 

NICO: …I always have a plan.

Viktor's grip would loosen and Bi-Han would kick him away onto a barrel of gunpowder. As Bi-Han would approach him, Viktor would throw the barrel forward, missing Bi-Han completely. 

SUB ZERO: Oh poor you... you missed your target, and you are fresh out of options.

VIKTOR: Am I really?

Bi-Han looked confused. Viktor pointed behind him, as Red Robin tossed his dagger at the barrel. The dagger, piercing the barrel, was light on fire, and noticing this, Bi-Han ran to help Sektor, throwing the Barrel inside the temple with a freezing gust of wind before it could blow up in Sektor's proximity. Nico's dagger returned to him and on the way, it snagged the bag off the floor. Nico ran over to help Viktor up and the barrel exploded right as they ran away from the temple, getting away from the fire and explosions. They ran off into the woods, disappearing without a trace. Sektor and Bi-Han were still outside, away from the blast

SUB ZERO: Sektor, are you hurt?

She groaned, and took off the helmet, coughing a little.

SEKTOR: Nothing serious, Bi-Han.

SUB ZERO: Very well. I expect a full recovery from you. After this fire is put out.

As the two would walk away, an explosion in the temple would set fire to almost everything, forcing Bi-Han to leave Sektor outside as he goes into the flames to put them out.