#*also did this off of memory so if i'm missing things... sorry!

[borathae]

Killin' It Boy | JHS x f.Reader

“Jung Hoseok is many a thing in your life: Best friend. Part time lover. Eyecandy. And subject of your horniest desires. One night you stay over at his place, but fall asleep before anything can happen. You wake up the next morning needing him like you need air and he just so happens to need you too.”

Pairing: Hoseok x f.Reader (can be read without prior lore knowledge)

Genre: best friends with benefits!AU, Smut, Fluff if you squint really hard

Warnings: Hobi in a tanktop & grey sweats <3, Rougher Dom!Hoseok, needy sub!Reader, she just "casually" wears a thong around him, which obviously earns her what she deserves (a good dickening), making out & groping in his kitchen, which then continues in his bedroom, body worship for both, nipple play & licking for both, strength & muscle kink, now hear me out about the main thing!! she massages lube on his abs and then grinds on them :), yes this an ab humping fic :), multiple orgasms (f.receiving), afterwards he dicks her down HARD, clit play, breast play, choking & spanking (f.receiving), messy orgasms, creampie, cumming all over her chest, which he licks off <3, he calls her babygirl & good girl, the praisiest praise ever, this man can DIRTY TALK LORDD, i need a respirator fr, loving & soft aftercare

Wordcount: 6.9k

a/n: i don't want to talk about it. this is not how i wanted to return from my break but here we are 😶 i want to formally apologise for the damage this will do to you besties' pussies but i also want to say you're welcum. i put my entire sibussy into this story and it didn't help because hobi is still fucking haunting me omfg oh lord i need to run against a wall and forget all my memories fr 😩 have fun my whores i'm happy to be back 🖤

You are at Hoseok’s today.

Well, technically you are still at Hoseok’s after staying the night. Nothing happened. It was quite simple. The others aren’t currently at the estate and you grew tired of being alone. Taehyung and Jimin are on a best friend bonding trip to Hawaii, Jungkook is staying with Seokjin in Gordes because he really missed him and Yoongi had to spontaneously leave for Geneva to help his long term friend Fredrick with sorting out some issues.

And you? You honestly didn’t feel like going on a trip. So you stayed behind. You cleaned, did some gardening, you read, you took walks and enjoyed time alone. But then you got bored and so you took one very long walk to Hoseok’s.

That was yesterday and he welcomed you with homemade iced tea and pasta for dinner.

“Somehow I always end up eating pasta at your place”, you told him, enjoying it wholeheartedly.

“Sorry, it’s not my intention.”

“It’s totally fine. You make one hell of a pesto.”

Later you watched a movie where you fell asleep on his chest. Nothing happened.

Hoseok must have been awake for a while. His side is empty and cold. Which is a fucking shame because the second you woke up, you craved him. In more ways than one. You wanted his cuddles, desired his kisses and needed his touch. You huff air in frustration, staring at the empty bed longingly. It would have been so awesome if he was still here. He is always so warm in the morning and said warmth really brings out how amazing he smells.

You sit up and roll out of bed to leave for the bathroom so you can freshen up a little.

Hoseok is a very clean person. Quite frankly, he is the tidiest person you know. Each thing has his designated spot and things like dust or flyaway hairs were nonexistent in his bathroom. He left the door open and the scent of his shower gel still lingers in the air. You enjoy it as you wash your face and brush your teeth, eyes travelling over the tidy set up. He left his cologne outside today, which is totally shocking but also very tempting. You finish cleaning up and pick up the cologne to steal a sniff. Woody cedar meets warm grapefruit with a hint of shiso. It is masculine and sensual. If you could, you would bathe in it. It smells so good and knowing that he probably put it on after his shower makes you just a little droopy.

Now, you must be excused. Being close to Hoseok is very difficult because he is just so attractive. Yesterday, he opened the door in a tank top and some baggy grey sweats and you almost barked at him. It also doesn’t help that he is starting to get serious with you. Granted, you always knew that he wasn’t the funny perverted jokester he most of the times likes to give himself as, but seeing his more serious side become the norm around you just kind of hits different. He is so attractive when he simply exists without trying to put on a show. It’s in the little things. The way he closes a cabinet with his hip, the way he offers you something to drink and always makes sure that you are taken care of or when he tells you about his day while you rest on his chest and he traces your arm. He is so him these days. So completely and attractively mundane and normal and because of that, incredibly sexy.

Point being, you are just a little upset that last night didn’t lead to anything more and so you leave for downstairs with a plan. You are wearing nothing more than your lacy bra and a matching thong. You rarely wear thongs, because let’s be honest, they are fucking uncomfortable. You only wear them when you want to seduce someone and this is your plan. Seduce Hoseok.

Your heart races. This is something you never did before with him. You have no idea how he will react or if he will even like it. You might actually dissolve into dust of embarrassment if he ends up being weirded out. After all, you and he aren’t an official thing and stuff like surprising each other in your underwear isn’t just something that happens. But if you don’t try, you will always regret it.

Hoseok is eating his world-famous breakfast croffles (he always has to make them when you stay for breakfast) and sips on coffee when you enter the kitchen. He is engrossed in a video on his phone, judging by the sounds it is a dancing competition video.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, one second I can’t look away. My favourite’s dancing.”

Just as you had figured.

“Yeah? Are they any good?”

“She’s fucking sick. I’ve never seen such footwork before. How the hell is she even doing that?” he says and moves the phone closer to see better.

You run your eyes over him. Baggy grey sweats and a white tanktop, dark hair styled messily on purpose and fingers adorned by rings. He is so attractive without even trying.

This is killing you. Your heart might give up before anything else. Hoseok keeps murmuring and mumbling to himself while you prepare a cup of tea. You know your way around the kitchen, so it is easy to do.

“Are you hungry? I’ll make you croffles”, he offers without looking up.

“Sure, I could go for a bite.”

“Alright, I’ll make them soon.”

“Yeah, take your time.”

He hums and continues watching. The water finishes boiling in the time being. You fill your designated mug, watching the tea bag tint the water caramel slowly.

“Damn, that was sick”, Hoseok lets out behind you.

The dance must have finished because you can hear the distinct sound of a phone being set down. It is now or never.  

You keep your back turned to him, acting busy and hoping that he looks.

“So sorry, I would have been so upset if I missed that, but now you have me all to-”

One second.

“What the fuck?” a very quiet whisper.

Two seconds.

“-yourself.” Loud again. “Damn, what’s going on with your clothes?”

“Why? What do you mean?”

“You didn’t wear that to sleep. Where’s your pjs gone?”

You turn and shrug your shoulders.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

His eyes are all over you, trying to undress what little clothing still covers you.

“Well fuck”, he says and drops into his chair, running his hand over his mouth.  He meets your eyes. “Not gonna lie, ___, this is making the morning a lot sweeter.”

“It is?”

“You’re like a dream, Seriously, the sweetest dream. Damn, just, sorry I’m inappropriate. It’s just underwear and I’m acting like I’ve never seen a woman in a thong before. Sorry.”

“You’re alright”, you say and chuckle, “I like it.”

You turn again so you can get some milk. You like your morning tea with milk. Anyone who hates this combination doesn’t know true culinary luxury.

“Fucking hell ___, you’re… Nah, that’s too much.”

He stands up and closes the distance. His hand brushes your waist.

“Please look at me”, he says, using his sexy voice for it.

You turn. His gaze is darkened in desire, making sinful love to you as he looks you deep into the eyes.

“Tell me that I’m not reading into this too much and you’re not just wearing this for the sake of wearing it.”

“I wanna tell you something about me.”

“Tell me.”

“I actually hate wearing thongs. They’re things of evil.”

He chuckles, sliding his fingers under the very thin string which sits on your hip.

“So why are you?”

“Because…” you begin to whisper, closing the distance so he can taste the words.

Hoseok’s purrs softly, parting his lips. Your breath taste minty and like temptation. He craves to fill his lungs with you.

“...I had hoped that you would like them”, you finish your sentence, raking your fingers up his sculpted chest.

“I do. I like them.”

Closer. Your lips almost touch.

“Good.”

“Kiss me.” He cups your cheek, chasing your lips.

“You first.”

Hoseok smiles in amusement, eyes flickering darkly. He slides his hand to the back of your head and pulls you in. You moan, knees buckling and body chasing him instinctively. He tastes sweet like the maple syrup he likes on his croffles. His lips are so soft, drawing you in. He is definitely the one to decide the rhythm. You just have to take it, keep up with it and you do. You take it with a racing heart, moaning every time he runs his tongue over your lips. You keep up with it, touching his body because you need to have all of him. His arms are so defined without being too overly bulky. His waist is so tiny and firm and his chest is strong with the perkiest of nipples. You rub them over his tanktop. He moans softly, following it with a chuckle. He sways your bodies from side to side, wrapping his strong arms around you so he can press you against him. He purrs deeply, letting you taste his desire in a slow tongue kiss.

You moan into his mouth. It feels so good to be held that tight just because you played with his nipples. Hoseok is so good in communicating with his body and he just doesn’t stop talking. As you continue to rub and explore his chest, he continues to purr and allows his hands to travel over your back. He uses his entire palms for it, making sure that you can feel every touch he places.

You switch your touch to his neck, ruffling up his hair and meeting his tongue with your own. He sucks on your tongue with a moan, squeezing your ass. He does it so desperately that you kind of wobble from side to side, getting on your tiptoes because he lifts you just a little.

“Jump”, he orders and you follow.

He catches you, bouncing you in his arms so he gets a better grip of you and kissing you as he does. You moan, grinding against his stomach and twisting his hair. His hands are under your ass, his arms flex as he carries you with ease. His kiss tastes like heaven, but you take it away when he sits you down on the kitchen counter and you have to gasp.

“Cold”, you whine.

“Hm, sorry”, he purrs, making it up to you by kissing your neck and shoulders. He is breathing heavily, constantly purring and moaning because the mere existence of you seems to drive him wild.

You don’t even care about the cold stone under your butt anymore. Not when he raises the fire in your veins. You close your eyes, gripping the edge of the counter and keeping him close with your legs. He feels them up, kissing a hungry path down to your breasts.

“So sexy, you’re so sexy”, he lulls, grinding into you with a shaky moan.

Thud.

“Ouch.”

He shoots up.

“What was that?”

You are pouting, rubbing your head, “I hit my head on the cabinet.”

Hoseok laughs, “are you okay?” he asks, petting the aching spot.

“No. You made me roll my head back with your stupid grinding and I hit it.”

He chuckles, “okay Miss Clumsy, let’s remove you from danger”, he says and lifts you off the counter.

You giggle, ruffling his hair and gazing down at him.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Bedroom”, he says, “now fucking kiss me.”

You don’t need to be told twice. Kissing him is like a drug and you are its addict. You kiss him as he leaves the kitchen, you kiss him as he walks up the stairs and you kiss him as he lies you down in his soft bed. He is the one to break the kiss, but the pleasure continues. Your neck gets kissed and sucked and because it’s Hoseok and his entire deal is being sexy, he bites you as well.

You mewl, rolling your hips up in desperate search for friction. He helps you find it on his hand. He hooks his pinkie in your thongs and pulls it to the side, connecting his thumb with your pussy so you can grind down on it.

“Hobi, oh god.”

“I love how fucking wet you already are, you’re just so good for me”, he praises. He hooks his other hand in your bra, tugging the right cup to the side so he has access to your nipple. He wraps his wet, warm and soft mouth around it, sucking on it gently and flicking his tongue over it.

If he didn’t have you wrapped all around his fingers, he definitely would now.

“Stop”, you gasp, pulling his hand away, “stop, please stop.”

“What’s the matter?” he asks, retreating his hand.

“You’re too good, I’m excited.” You fluster. “I almost came.”

He chuckles, eyes sparkling mischievously.

“Don’t laugh. This is really exciting for me.”

“Why? I’m just getting you ready.”

“I wanted you the moment I woke up.”

He widens his eyes, “really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well damn. I don’t know what to say.”  

You touch his chest, “I want something.”

“Tell me.”

“I want you to be rough today, okay? No more of that careful shit.”

He chuckles, “alright, I can do that. Anything else?”

“If you want to, you can choke me or spank me.”

“Hot. That’s hot.”

“So?”

“Yes, baby. Yes”, he says and kisses you again.

You moan in happiness, dragging your hands down his torso until you reach his pants. You slip your hands inside. Hoseok follows your hands just to take his pants off. The kiss has to break when he has to step out of them. A pair of tight boxers keeps his hard cock pressed to his thigh. He is soaking the grey fabric. The view is so hot but nothing beats the view of his abs as he takes off his tanktop. He throws it to the side and steps out of his boxers, wanting to reclaim his spot between your legs afterwards but you are faster.

You sit up, surprising him by pushing him down into the sheets by his chest.

“Alright, is this what we’re doing?” he laughs, dropping down willingly.

You climb his lap, sitting down right under his hard cock. He smiles in amusement, caressing your thighs.

“You’re so sweet”, he purrs, feeling up your waist.

“Mhm”, you hum absentmindedly, lowering your mouth to his neck to worship it needily. He smells like his cologne. You quite frankly lick and suck it off of him while Hoseok gasps for air and moans in pleasure.

You only leave his neck once you consumed all of his scent, having come to the conclusion that the rest of his body smells just as good.

“Oh shit”, he lets out under his breath, chest heaving up and down quickly as you lick his nipples.

But again, you don’t stay for too long. This isn’t what you crave the most. This isn’t what you have been thinking about ever since you saw him in this stupidly tight tanktop.

“Your abs are insane. Actually insane”, you say, dragging your tongue down the middle of them. Your hands follow it along his waist, thumbs running over his obliques. Hoseok chases your mouth, abs rippling under your tongue. He sighs, skin tingling.

You are so greedy. Your mind is going wild.

“I wanna grind on them”, you murmur to yourself.

“Then do.”

“Hm?”

Hoseok props himself up on his elbows. You look at him with widened eyes.

“You heard that?”

“You weren’t really quiet, were you?” He smirks. “Do it. I don’t have them for nothing you know? I bet I can make you cum on them.”

“Holy moly, Hoseok.”

His smirk grows. He cups your cheek and traces your lips.

“Deal?”

“Yeah. Deal”, you sigh and kiss him.

Hoseok drops into the sheets and grabs your ass, moaning deeply. His grip is gentle but also, for a lack of a better word, possessive. He makes sure that you can feel it – feel him – but not in a way which would hurt. This is supposed to be good for you and it is. Hoseok is so fucking good for you.

He makes you laugh, he lets you cry, he protects you, he listens to you and remembers mundane stuff like your favourite croffle toppings. And he feels like ecstasy when you touch. He is so fucking good for you.

“Hobi…” you sigh into the kiss.

“Hm?” he purrs, rubbing your buttocks.

“You’re so addictive.”

He laughs, “what are you saying?”

“Just…fucking want you.”

He moans as you kiss him, giving you a gentle push to make you finally scoot up his body. He is needy too. He can’t deny it anymore.

The kiss has to break for the thing to work. His head is supported by two pillows, laying higher this way so he has good view of his abs.

You crawl off his lap. Hoseok watches with heavy eyes as you take off your thong. Then you walk off.

“Hey, where are you going?” he asks, furrowing his brows.

“Drawer was it?” you ask, walking to his bedside table.

���For what? Come back here.”

You open the drawer. Bingo.

“Lube”, you say and show him the bottle of water based lube he keeps close by.

Hoseok tuts, smirking in amusement.

“What do you need that for, mhm?”

“You’ll see.”

You climb back on his lap and sit down. Hoseok instantly touches you, running his hands up and down your thighs and waist. He looks at you as if he wanted to devour you whole.

“So sexy. My babygirl’s so fucking sexy”, he purrs, spurring you on.

With confidence, you open the bottle of lube and squirt a sinful amount of it onto his abs. They twitch and flex as a reaction to the cold.

“Shit.” He laughs, squeezing your hips. “That’s cold, gotta warn me.”

“Where’s the fun in that? I could watch your abs twitch like that”, you say and put the bottle aside. You connect your hands with his stomach to massage the lube all over his skin.

“That’s hot…fuck, I like that”, he purrs, tensing and relaxing his abs wherever you touch him. “Yeah, just like that, babygirl…”

“How do you even get these abs? They’re insane.”

“Workouts, dancing, I’m just sexy, what can I say”, he says, following it with a rather cutesy giggle.

You agree, “you are. You’re so sexy.”

You spread the excess lube on your pussy and finally do what you need. You position yourself above his abs.

“That’s so hot. Use me, babygirl, you got it”, he encourages you, offering you his hands if you needed support. He has his arms propped on his elbows so you can really lean your weight on them.

You take them, of course you do. Those are Hoseok’s hands. You would be dumb if you didn’t take them. The lube smears between your palms, forcing him to grip you so much tighter than he normally needs to. It’s so sexy.

Your pussy touches his stomach. You exhale shakily, heart beginning to race. This is new to you and it’s already amazing.

“That’s good, babygirl. You like that?”

“Yeah, I do”, you say and begin moving. You roll your hips up and down on his abs, finding out soon enough that you can feel the definition. “Okay, woah yeah I do.”

He chuckles, rolling his lower lip between his teeth. He can’t decide whether to look at your pretty pussy on his abs or your cute face scrunched up in concentration. Maybe both because he is fucking into you. So into you.

“Take it at your pace, yeah? I’m right here, just enjoy.”

“Hoseok…”

Your pussy is mesmerising. The angle naturally hides a lot from his eyes, but what Hoseok can see is enough to drive him insane. You fit right around his abs, moving so perfectly on him. He feels you getting wetter and wetter. It’s so warm, really bringing out how fucking soft you are.

“Hobi, you feel so good”, you get out, squeezing his hands.

“I do?” He flexes his abs.

“A-ah”, you moan with your voice pitched, scrunching your nose.

“So sexy”, Hoseok whispers, doing it again just to hear you moan and feel you clench.

You didn’t think that you could feel it so well. You could fucking count them just by rubbing your pussy over them.

One, two, three.

“Hoseok, ah, Hoseok.”

Four, five.

“You’re such a pretty woman, riding my abs so well. Good girl, make yourself feel good.”

Six, seven.

“Hobi please.”

Eight. He’s got an eight pack. This sexy motherfucker actually has an eight pack and its currently getting marked by you. He is the canvas and you are the artist, creating impure art.

“Please what, babygirl? Want me to help you?”

You open your bra and take it off.

“Touch me”, you beg, guiding his lube covered hands to your tits.

His abs tense under you because of the position. He purrs deeply, watching with widened pupils as he covers your breasts in a sinful layer of lube. He rubs his palms all over your chest, drags them down your sides and up over your stomach, repaying the favour this way. Now you are both covered in lube, skin glistening in the morning light and bodies heated up.

“My sexy woman. Fuck, lube’s your best look”, he rasps, cupping your breasts to knead them in his messy fingers.

You twitch and tremble on him, leaking more of you on his hard abs. Praise paired with his touches is a difficult combination to handle. It turns you on so much to be messy and he is calling you sexy for it.

You press yourself tighter to his abs, speeding up your movements because he has you desperate. It squelches in wet sin, only adding to the pleasure. The fact that you can hear the texture of them…

“Fuck, this feels so good…”

“Yeah? Like it?”

“So much, ahm…”

“That’s it. Ride my abs, good girl. You’re such a good girl”, he praises, rewarding you with his thumbs on your nipples. It’s like he knows how a woman works. It’s insane how good his touch feels. Just one second of it and you already find yourself addicted to it.

“Hoseok, fuck please.”

“Tell me, babygirl.”

“Don’t stop.”

“Won’t.”

“Thank you”, you moan and throw your head back, arching your back. You grab his strong arms, chasing the feeling of him. His hands on you, his thumbs on your nipples and his abs under your leaking cunt. You chase it, chase it, chase it and it’s getting better and better.

By now you have his abs so messy that creamy strings of your slick stick to his skin, webbing themselves from muscle to muscle. It looks so good against his honey skin.

You don’t get to see it. Your eyes are rolled back by now.

But Hoseok sees it and he is hooked up on the view, leaking on his lowest abs and wishing for you to just take him in. But he can’t rush you. He promised you an orgasm on his abs and he isn’t one to break promises. Especially not when it comes to you. You’re fucking precious to him and the promises he makes you, sacred.

So he keeps his fantasy a little fantasy while he tenses and flexes his abs under your puffy cunt and plays with your pretty nipples. He switches between massages of your chest and attention to your nipples with little flicks and rubs. The pleasure courses through you in waves.

“I think I’m close.”

“That’s so good. You’re doing so well”, he praises, sitting up more just so his abs ripple for you.

You shake, digging your fingers into his arms.

“Oh fuck.”

“You feel me?”

“Yeah, I feel you…”

“Mhhm I feel you too. You’re so sexy on my abs. My sexy babygirl”, he rasps and takes your nipples between his fingers to tug gently and rub them. At the same time he rolls his hips up, letting you feel how his abs work when he fucks.

“Hoseok holy fuck, ah!” you croak and break. Your entire body just freezes. Hoseok moans loudly at the feeling of your throbbing pussy and takes your hips between his hands just to move them over his abs for you.

You sob, gripping his wrists as you tremble. You thought it couldn’t get any better, but he proves you wrong as he guides you.

“Ho-hobi. Hobi please. Please.”

“I know babygirl, I know. You’re cumming so good for me. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

“Hobi…”

“I’ve got you. I’m here”, he talks you through it because that’s what he does. He talks you through it, helps you ride it out and enjoys the sensations with a dizzy head.

He can feel when it stops for you. He is so fucking greedy for more but knows not to be. You always get a little vulnerable after your first orgasm. It’s as if your mind finally catches up with the fact that you were horny and it is figuring out whether to be embarrassed or want more.

You sit on him with your entire weight, eyes widened and glassy.

“I…”

“Hush, you’re okay”, Hoseok assures you, lifting you just to sit up and put you down on his lap instead. The creamy mess you left on his abs smears all over your stomach now that are you so close. He has his hands on your back, holding you safely as he kisses your neck.

“What are you doing to me?” you choke out, dropping into him.

He moves his head so it wouldn’t get squished. His chin now rests against your shoulder while you have your face pressed into the crook of his neck. Your arms are hooked behind his head and your hands are in his hair.

“I promised you an orgasm on my abs, didn’t I?” he speaks in a soft voice, scratching your back soothingly.

“Yeah, but.”

“But what?”

“It felt so good.”

He chuckles, squeezing your buttocks.

“So? Where’s the problem?”

You lift your head, meeting his eyes. You cup his face.

“I want more.”

“What was that?”

“I want more”, you say and slide your hand to his cock.

Hoseok tenses his stomach, showing you with a slight squint of his eyes that he feels your touch and he likes it.

“Tell me”, he rasps.

“I want more, please.”

“No. Tell me that you can’t get enough.”

“I can’t get enough.”

He smiles darkly, lowering his eyes seductively. He moves his head closer, letting you taste his words.

“Beg for it.”

“I can’t get enough, please Hobi.”

“You can do better than that”, he rasps, looking at your lips.

“Fuck. Please fuck me, I want more of you, please”, you beg, heart racing like crazy and head dizzy. It’s so hot to have to beg. Especially when he makes you work for it. And you work for it. You grind your hips down on his thigh, twisting your hand around his cock in hopes of convincing him.

“I like that, babygirl. Say it again. One more time”, he whispers, craving to kiss you. Your hand on his cock is making it so difficult to hold back.

“You’re a tease”, you whine.

“Fucking say it again, babygirl”, he orders, giving your ass a warning squeeze. 

“Please fuck me, please don’t tease me anymore please”, you whimper and try to warm his heart by dancing your tongue over his lips.

Hoseok growls and moves quickly. He picks you up only to pin you into the sheets and give you what you ask for.

You squeak, tensing up in surprise.

He knows how to do it so it fills you with electrical shocks of pleasure. He soaks up the view of your surprised eyes widening only to go out of focus and roll back all within a second.

“Go on say it. Say what you’re thinking”, he challenges you, pumping his aching cock into you in a desperate rhythm.

“Feels so good. Hobi, you feel so good.”

“Yeah? And what do well mannered women do, mhm?”

“Moan for you,” you moan, arching your back.

He chuckles, sliding his hand under your back and rewarding you with his entire length.

“Good guess, but no.”

You squeeze down on him so hard that he knows it was intentional. He growls, twisting the sheets beside your head.

“No, that’s not either. Go on, use your brain. What do we say after getting something?”

“Thank you”, you moan, twisting the sheets as well. There are no words on this earth to describe how good his cock makes you feel. First his abs get you sensitive and now you have his girthy cock splitting you open. This is actual heaven.

“Good girl. That’s it. Thank me. Go on.”

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”, you chant, getting louder and needier because your moans earn you more and more of what he has to offer.

He moves his hips as if he was on stage, performing and dancing just for your pleasure. Your second thank you earns you his skilled fingers on your clit and your third thank you earns you his other hand around your throat.

“Hoseok!” you wail, grasping his lower arm just to squeeze him closer to your throat.

He purrs deeply, tightening his fingers. Your pulse races like crazy, fluttering and faltering as he slowly and gently cuts off the blood flow to your brain. He towers over you, kneeling on the sheets as he makes dirty love to you. But you don’t get to see how sexy he looks. Your eyes are squeezed shut, your mind is completely lost in the pleasure.

“I’m going insane, you feel so fucking good. Fucking wanted you like crazy”, he says and moans loudly.

You match his freak with an even louder moan, clenching down on his cock because vocal men are such a turn on. Especially when it’s Hoseok. His voice is fucking made to make sex noises.

“Shit, woah…that feels good. Do it again”, he moans.

You clench, toes curling because it makes it a lot better for you as well. You can feel every vein on his cock this way, can feel his tip fuck against your g-spot and feel his base stretch you out. So you clench and clench and clench, whimpering and mewling for him.

“Yes”, he growls, chasing the tight heaven you offer him, “yes, yes, fucking yes. Babygirl, yes.”

He fucks you right where it feels the best. Over and over again he hits The Spot while his fingers flick your clit quickly and his hand reminds your throat that you are his’.

“Yes, babgirl, yes. You-”

“Hoseok”, you interrupt him.

“Yes?”

“You’re making me- oh god, Hoseok please. I have to- ah!”

“It’s okay, you can cum. Don’t hold back”, he encourages you, helping you with a soft rub on your clit and by letting go of your neck.

“Thank you!” You climax on his cock with a sob, writhing in ecstasy because this is so much more intense than the first one. Your head pounds from the blood rushing back. You feel your orgasm everywhere between your legs, thanking him over and over again.

“That’s it, don’t hold back. Good girl, I can’t get enough of you”, he talks you through it just as he fucks you through it. He doesn’t slow down. Why should he? When it makes you feel so good.

“More. More please. Please, oh. Please.”

“Wasn’t gonna stop anyway”, he says and easily fixes you to how he wants you. He rolls you to your side and bends your leg around his hips. He faces your pussy and just like this, he enters you. He gives you all of him, watching in delight how you tense up and writhe in pleasure because the position allows him to hit your g-spot more precisely.

“Thank you. Hobi please. Thank you.”

“I fucking love when you beg like this. Makes me wanna fuck you so much harder”, he purrs, using his abs and back muscles to give you the fuck of your lifetime.

Hoseok is many a thing. Best friend. Occasional lover. Artist. Pornstar, dancer and man obsessed. One thing is for sure however, he will use his mesmerising ability to move his hips to give you cock in ways you haven’t experienced yet. This is a passion project for him and he treats his passion projects with utmost and precise care. Because he likes them to be perfect.

If that means that he has to rearrange your guts and permanently carve himself into your walls, then so be it. Hoseok is down for the ride.

“Please, Hobi. It’s too much”, you sob and bury your face in the mattress. He watches how you bite into the sheets, how you grasp them with shaky fingers and how your toes curl.

“Just say it if you want me to stop. Hm?” He stops his hips. “Wanna say it?”

“No!” you practically yell at him. “Don’t stop please!”

Hoseok chuckles and picks his rhythm back up. He spanks your ass.

“Bad girl. Yelling is rude.”

You whimper, spilling tears. This is all part of his plan isn’t it? He listened to your wishes, memorised them and then planned the sexiest way of including them. First the hand around your throat and then he works you up to be yelling just so he can spank you. Holy fuck, this is all just part of his plan.

“Again please”, you beg desperately, leaking on his cock just as you leak tears into the sheets.

Spank! In sync with a rough thrust of his skilled hips.

“Thank you!”

“You’re so polite. Keep it up, babygirl. So good”, he rasps, rewarding you with two consecutive spanks and rough thrusts.

“Thank you”, you sob, clenching down on is cock every time he lands his bejeweled hand on your ass.

“So good.”

Spank!

“Hobi”, you sob and go back to biting the sheets.

Hoseok continues. He is panting by now, growling each time he exhales. He spanks you not because you need to be punished, but as an act of infatuation. He does it because it gives you pleasure, because it makes your cunt so tight on his cock and because it makes such a pretty sound.

“Good girl, you’re taking me so well. My good fucking woman. So good”, he praises, rubbing your clit with his other hand because you deserve only the best.

“O-i im uing”, you murmur into the sheets.

“What was that?”

You show him. Hoseok yelps, tensing up.

“___ baby…holy fuck, so tight”, he moans, throwing his head back and burying his cock in you to the very base just so he can feel every second of your orgasm. He didn’t plan on making you cum already so this one comes as a surprise.

You sob and wail, convulsing in paradisal pleasure before it gets too much and you squirt all over him.

“Fucking hell, you gonna make me cum. This is so hot”, Hoseok growls, suddenly moving like a messy, clumsy teenage boy. Coordinating spanks and clit rubs is impossible and his hips stutter whenever he pushes back in. So he holds onto a good chunk of your ass, bruising it between his strong fingers as he claims your weeping cunt. You are so tight and now so fucking wet. Your orgasm sticks to his abs as well, soaking his cock and balls. The view is so sexy to him, making it hard to keep moving. “Fuck, I’m close.”

You fight yourself to your elbow and reach for him.

“Please Hobi.” you beg, dragging your nails down his abs so hard that it leaves marks.

Hoseok looks into your puppy eyes and knows that he is done for.

“___ baby”, he moans, eyes going cross before rolling back and closing. His hips stop when his cock is deepest. He grunts, scrunches his face and you can finally feel it. His hot, creamy orgasm. It fills you up, sticks to you, makes you his’.

“Thank you, ah Hoseok, thank you”, you whimper, feeling up his abs as they ripple and tense rhythmically.

“Baby, this feels so good. Holy fuck, can I cum on your chest?”

“Yeah. Please.”

“Urgh fuck”, he growls through gritted teeth and pulls out of you. He flips you to your back and spanks your clit with his cock just once to get the message across before he angles it differently and jerks off over your chest to get that last wave of pleasure all over it.

“Hobi”, you whimper, watching the sinful show with hungry eyes. Look at his abs tense…

“That’s my woman. Fucking wear me around your neck, that’s my woman. So fucking good, urgh.”

You cry for him, gazing up at him with devoted, droopy eyes. You can’t decide whether to look at his heavy cock spurting white cum all over you and his long fingers or his glistening abs or his scrunched face. Maybe you look at all of it while you touch and scratch his abs and arch your tits closer to him.

Hoseok finishes in five sloppy strokes.

“Fuck ___”, he drops his cock into the mess he just made, playing with it by swirling his hips.

“Did you like that?” you ask him in a sweet voice.

He nods his head with closed eyes, catching his breath.

“You’re so sexy, babygirl. Can’t believe you let me do that”, he says and opens his eyes.

He drags his heavy cock down to your pussy, rubbing it through your well-loved folds and over your sensitive clit.

You squeak, closing your legs.

“Sensitive.”

He chuckles, kissing your knee.

“Sorry”, he says, pushing your legs open, “let me kiss it better.”

“Hoseok, god”, you gasp and sigh, melting into the sheets as he runs his mouth over your ruined body. This is so sinful and sensual but also soothing and relaxing.

He licks the cum from your chest, kisses the sore spots on your thighs and loves your neck with his lips. The mess between your legs he leaves. Personal preference maybe. You won’t complain. It’s so nice to leak him. You feel so fulfilled.

“How are you doing?” he whispers against your ear.

“I’m in shock.”

He chuckles, “is that a good thing?”

You nod your head vigorously, giggling.

He smiles, kissing your ear before he lifts his head. He is propped up on his elbow, resting against your side which makes it easy to caress your torso. His eyes are filled with soft adoration. He is glowing when he smiles.

“So how did I do? You liked what I did?”

“I get it now”, you whisper.

“Get what now?”

“Why you’re so cocky about your skills.”

He lowers his eyes shyly.

“Don’t say that.”

“You’re so good.”

“Ah, you”, he lets out and smooches you with a giggle. “Thanks. Wah, now I’m embarrassed.”

You snicker, “don’t be. I liked it so much. Oh god, I need a minute.”

“Mhm, take your time. I’ll be here to take care of you”, he says and uses the moments of relaxation to kiss you all over your body. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No”, you sigh, writhing in relaxing pleasure. You don’t mind at all. You could never mind him. He is permanently settled in your brain, permanently living into your heart and permanently carved into your walls.

“You’re so fucking beautiful”, he whispers, kissing your inner thighs. They smell like sex. Hoseok soaks up the scent like an addict, leaving marks of devotion next to the spots his rough handling left. He leaves out your pussy again.

“Why do you do that?” you ask, playing with his hair.

“Do what?” he asks, looking up from your lower stomach.

“Leave it out”, you say, rolling your hips up.

“Because I can and I want to”, he purrs, kissing a quick path up to your face. He lies down next to you, cradling your face. “And because you should feel me a little longer.”

“But how will I get up and eat my croffles?”

He smiles against your lips and kisses you.

“Breakfast in bed, duh.”

“Really?” you ask, eyes widened in surprise. Such romance is new from him. He makes your heart race.

“Mhm, really. You should relax, let me treat my woman.”

His woman. He kept saying it as he fucked you. You don’t correct him. You smile and nod your head.

“Yeah, okay. But I can’t guarantee that I can keep my hands to myself when you do.”

“Do you have to be somewhere today?”

“No. But I don’t see how-”

“Then I don’t see the problem”, he flirts and pecks your lips.

You get it now. And it makes you giggle. He smiles, pecking your cheek.

“Relax. I’ll be back with breakfast”, he says and before he rolls out of bed, you stop him.

You steal a kiss, ending it by biting his lower lip. He smiles at you, eyes sparkly and infatuated by you.

“Don’t take too long, please.”

“Promise”, he seals it with a peck then finally gets out of bed to leave the bedroom naked.

“Aren’t you forgetting your clothes?”

“I cook best naked.” He gives you a cocky grin and a wink then closes the door.

“Fuck”, you drop into the sheets and blow raspberries. It is official, you won’t ever get him out of your head.

[saymio]

Guns Aren't Toys

Pairing: Kang No-eul (guard 011) x Fem!reader

Summary: noeul loves you, she truly does. she wants to do whatever it takes to keep you safe, and all hers. so when you try to gain some independence from her....she decides its time to scare you into being hers forever.

Warning: dead dove do not eat, manipulation, gun play, carving/knife play, blood kink, dubcon, light bdsm (tying you to a bed), noeul is giving heavy yandere vibes, age gap, might be more but im too lazy to write it down

A/N: not proof read. english isn't my first language and I haven't written in so long, I'm sorry if its bad (MDNI)

6.1k Words

...

you befriended noeul not long after the games ended, at first you had no idea what she did..or who she even was. you didn't know where she came from, where she worked, you didn't even know her exact age. but nonetheless something about her compelled you to her. maybe it was the way she carried herself..she stayed lowkey but wasnt a pushover. or how cool and attractive she was...it always seemed like she knew what she was doing. whether it was something small like cooking an egg or folding clothes...she seemed so knowledgeable and aware of everything around her. to you noeul was your dream girl, she was so mysterious but also so interesting...so quiet but so compelling...

she was a regular at the coffee shop you used to work at. always ordering the same thing, a black coffee with no sugar. it fit her..sleek and to the point. she quickly became part of your daily routine... check out the hot older woman that would pass by everyday... but suddenly in the middle of the summer she stopped appearing at the coffee shop. at the time, you knew nothing about the woman, less than when you finally became her friend. only her face, coffee order and where she always sat. at the left corner of the cafe, she always seemed to ponder about something. she didn't look distressed when she would but.. she didn't look calm either. you wondered if she was on a vacation.. you hoped she was. you were getting nervous about the idea that she moved out of the city, she wouldn't leave just like that right? she'd be back, right?

days and days have passed and still no sign of noeul. you started to give up on the idea that she would be back, its been a week since she left and summer was nearing its end... it made you sulk and pout at the thought, not even getting the chance to have a real conversation with her... what a bu- ding..ding the sound of the door cut you away from your thoughts, at first you didn't even realize. maybe its been so long and your memory has started to get hazy, or you were just so tired you didn't bother to look at their face that much... but once she was Infront of you..you realized.. shes back!

"one black coffee with no sugar please." her monotone voice sounded like an angel just sung to you. you didn't even know her but god did you miss her sexy face. "you're back" you stared at her with soft eyes and a smile as you handed her the change from her drink. you didn't notice then but it caught her off guard. someone had noticed she was gone..were they welcoming her back? did they want to know why she was gone? why'd they even care..she didn't know them like that....but it still made a small part of her heart beat a little bit faster... "what happened to your cheek?" you were getting out your comfort zone, you were usually timid and too anxious to attempt small talk to a customer. especially one as attractive as the one standing Infront of your eyes. "nothing. thank you for the coffee." she rubbed her right cheek and walked off...usually youd leave it at that. you wouldn't interact with her again because it was clear she wasn't interested in your small talk.. but... what if she disappeared again? and what if this time she never came back? you didn't want to risk fumbling someone as perfect as her. the epitome of a seemingly perfect woman... you looked around the shop, making sure the coworker that never showed up that day didn't randomly appear...and making sure there wasnt any customer on their way inside. you slipped your apron off and slowly made your way to the corner noeul always sat at. "a..ahem...can I sit here...?" clearly nervous you shuffled with your fingers, looking away as to not make eye contact with her...it'd probably make things 10x more embarrassing if she said no. "yeah, you can" ... and with that the two of you formed a friendship that only grew as days passed. not knowing what kind of future awaited the two of you.

timeskip

its been around 2 years since the two of you met and well, you're both dating now. and have been for the past year.. you obviously know more about noeul now but shes still as mysterious as ever, you think its attractive though. and it seems a lot of her background is touchy so you don't push on it...shes only mentioned that she isn't from south korea once and that's about all you've gotten surrounding that...but what isn't attractive to you is how controlling shes been lately. at first you though it was cute. she wouldnt let you go out alone for too long or befriend anyone new without her knowing when you first started dating. that was pretty normal for a girl that had her strange tendencies, right?. what isn't normal is how she made you quit your job so you could be 'safe' at home. she wont allow you to be out alone at all. she doesnt even let you have any social media account..you were banned from all of it. you have to ask her to do everything if you can shower, watch TV, if you can eat. and its really starting to scare you. she put a lock on the bedroom door from the outside, and only she had the key. so you cant go anywhere when you two sleep unless you wake her up for permission. you never even realized how bad its gotten until it was too late. you were wearing rose tinted glasses, not letting yourself see how toxic shes gotten. and now that you've taken them off, you're far too deep in the rabbit hole to just climb your way out. she waits for you outside the bathroom, she doesn't let you lock any doors, you cant even be in a different room from her for more than 10 minutes before she barges in. the only time you truly feel safe and alone is when she leaves for around a week every summer.

youre nearing your 2 year anniversary with her. you'd be ecstatic if it weren't for the fact shes basically taken over your entire life. if it was bad 1 year in, it's horrible now. you can barely even breath without her staring holes into your face. you feel trapped and you're starting to regret ever approaching her that day. what happened to the noeul that was calm and well kept? the one that would help you with your uni work and tell you small stories about her life as a 19 year old. stories she thinks you can relate to since you're the same age. what happened to the noeul that would laugh at the jokes you'd make of her age. not minding it when you'd call her old because she knew you loved her age. now even mention it and she 'calmly' asks you "isn't this what you wanted? an older woman to slut you out?" normally your panties would've been soaked and you'd just ask her to eat you out at that moment but it feels so aggressive.. you're on edge around her, you don't want to make her upset... but you can never tell when you have because of her stoic face. she never seems to break the calm facial expressions she always has. either a smile or just no readable expression at all...

but there is good news, news that could maybe get you out of this mess. you were scared of her, not only that but you had no money. she was the one taking care of the both of you... so what if...you got a job? if you applied and they accepted you no way she would just force you to quit right? and maybe..maybe she'd change...so you wouldn't need to use the money to buy a small apartment for yourself

...

"I'm going now." noeul stares at you with a soft expression, one that will always melt your heart no matter what has happened between the two of you. "okay baby, please stay safe. I love you" you run into her arms, hugging her tightly before getting onto your tippy toes to give her a loving kiss. even though you're scared of her, scared of what she might do in the future...you still love her. with your entire life, and you really do mean it when you say it. her cold hands cup your face as she kisses your forehead. her soft lips leaving a warm feeling not only on your head but in your heart too. "here.." she pulls her right hand from her pocket, showing 2 silver keys and a small phone. ones for the front door, and the other is for all the other rooms in your apartment. "you already know the rules, right doll?" you hesitantly nodded as your smaller hands grabbed the two keys and phone from hers. "I'll still repeat them incase you forgot one. you arent allowed to leave the house unless you need to buy food, you cant stay up past 8pm, the phone is only for important calls, and you cannot talk to anyone. no one at all... you understand princess?" you nod your head slowly, looking up at noeul as she smiles. her smile isn't that genuine though. its more of a cold, forced smile... maybe one that's supposed to intimidate you into obeying her rules... but you already have a plan. and that plan breaks all those rules.... "I'll be back in a week like always, I love you. okay y/n?" she kisses you once more before leaving the space you two were once in, filling it with silence before you heard the soft click of the door closing.. you knew exactly what you needed to do now, you need to escape the tight grip she has on your life.

its been a day since noeul left to go do her weird murdered job. you know about the games but it doesnt phase you too much. not even when you first heard about it. you even thought it was a little thrilling.. your girlfriend kills people for money...shes scary..scary and hot. not only that but you were so in love you didn't even care. maybe she knew that. maybe that's why she told you, she knew she had you wrapped around her finger. but you were different now, you took off the glasses that diluted the world. you were facing it head on it with the hard truth. you love noeul with all your heart but...you don't want to be in a relationship where you're scared for your...life

you were so distracted in your thoughts you didnt even realize you walked past the store you wanted to apply to work at. the coffee shop you met noeul at .. where you found love.. you walked a couple steps back before you faced the brown and green door, the one you would see every day in the morning and night.. ding ding the sound of the door opening rang in your ears, the same sound as always. you should be happy at this moment, you're going to apply for a job.. you'll be able to escape noeuls crazy controlling life style... you should be happy...but why weren't you. you felt nothing but dread walking into that store. your stomach was doing flips, your palms were getting sweaty and you felt your heart beating outside your chest. thoughts started to flood your head as you stood there inside the cafe, like your feet were glued to the ground. .....but- noeul..I shouldn't do this. I'm breaking her trust. she trusts me I- but I need to get away..shes scary...but but but..... "y/n?" the familiar voice cut you away from your thoughts..you looked up and it was the lady you used to always work with. she was only a few years older than you but she was always the more childish one between the two. the both of you shared the same shift and you weren't friends but you were.. close strangers maybe? "a- minyoung... hello" you bowed awkwardly. not wanting to be rude but also not trying to come off as too respectful "y/n, hi! I thought I'd never see you again after you quit haha.." she joked, a little unsure but she has the compassion. "uh..are you here to apply for work?" she stared at you, anticipating your answer.. it felt like the same eyes you were giving noeul when she came back to the shop that day.. waiting for her to say yes to you. 'yeah I am..can I?" min young softly smiled at you and nodded. as if welcoming you back to the cafe. you felt a pang in your chest, like your heart was telling you no. to just listen to noeul and you'd be safe. but you had a feeling that wasnt true. you wanted to do your own things even if it meant leaving the woman you loved most. because at this point, you dont even recognize her

it didn't take long for you to get accepted..like at all. when you got home from the cafe you saw you already had a text message. "hello y/n, I'm pleased to inform you that your application has been accepted. thank you for applying. you come into work starting tomorrow :)" it was honestly no surprise to you that they accepted your work application so quickly. not to sound cocky but you were undoubtedly the best worker they had, if someone didn't show up you'd come in their space, you wouldn't flirt with customers you made the coffee perfectly, you'd clean up the cafe before closing the store up, you never made mistakes. and it was even more impressive when your coworkers almost always didn't show up or do anything..other than minyoung. you smiled to yourself, was this truly the start of a new life? were you finally going to be free from noeuls grasp? you still felt sad, like you were breaking the trust she had in you but...you just wanted to be free...and maybe...maybe this could change her mind and she'd be less strict with you. it could go back to when you first started dating..she wouldnt control every aspect of your life. that's all you wanted right now.

you were losing track of how many days you'd been working. not paying attention to if noeul overstayed her work trip, or if it was even the day she was coming back. you were just happy to finally be back at work, with minyoung. the two of you were a lot closer now..closer than before. you two again shared the same schedule. right now she was drawing on the palm of your hand, you had no idea what it was but you were holding in your giggle and trying your best to stay still since the pen was tickling your palm. it seemed as if she drew a cat and was drawing numbers, you weren't really paying attention now though. you were staring outside the window..looking at the now setting sun. minyoung would drive you home everyday, your shift didn't end until it was dark and she didn't want anything to happen to you.. but you suddenly felt a strong sense of dread, like something bad was going to happen...and it was going to happen quick. "uhh..minyoung" you spoke with an obvious edge to your voice, it was almost shaky with nervousness. but it seemed she didn't pick up on that as she only hummed at you and stayed focused on your palm. "do you feel nervous too? I dont know...I just feel scared right now" minyoung stared up at you confused and worried.. "huh? I dont feel it..no.. do you want to go home early? maybe you're sick" you shook your head no and stares down at your palm, the ink started to smear a little. your palms were getting sweaty..you were only getting more nervous.. before you could mutter another word the cafe door flung open, a loud bang over powering the ding the door usually made when opened. you and minyoung flinched and jumped back as you stared at the person there. it was noeul..she clearly ran her way here on foot..you had no idea from where but she was gasping and sweat lined her forehead..not only was she sweating but a scowl covered her face. she was angry...and she was angry at you. minyoung leaned into your ear and quickly whispered something... "isn't that the lady that used to always come by? sh-" noeul loudly interrupted your coworker, the loudness of her voice startled you both. it was like there was a megaphone connected inside her throat.. "y/n. come here. now." she stood right in front of the cafe door, you were stunned. you didn't know what to do. it was like your mind was focused on only noeul because for a bit you forgot minyoung was even there. "don't make me ask again, doll." her voice was stern but gentle. it wasn't loud and upset like just a moment ago...but you were still scared of her...of what she'd do.. you gulped down the lump forming in your throat and took off your apron. you opened the small door that separated the baristas and the customers, with a light click it was free... you slowly walked towards noeul, you were anxious..and nervous. she wouldnt do anything to you right? especially not Infront of someone else.. you were now facing her, her sharp features stared at you like daggers. her seemingly dark soulless eyes only made you shake harder..you were terrified. "noeul i-" before you could even muster the rest of your sentence she gripped at your hair and pulled you out of the store. you shrieked and clawed at the hand that griped at your hair but it was no use..noeul was a lot stronger than you and you knew now that you messed up..big time. "p-please noeul stop AH! please please stop noeul that hurts that hurts it hurts please!" your pleas fell on deaf ears as she only dragged you down the street before stopping infront of a taxi. "take us to ----- please" you were blacking out, your head was fuzzy. you didn't know what to do you were so scared. you never thought noeul would actually hurt you, but she was. she was hurting you. and it hurt...alot... the man stared at noeul and at you, wary of letting a potential kidnapper inside his car. "this is just a kink of ours. don't worry" he stares at you waiting for any kind of response...you didn't know what to do...so you just nodded.. noeul opened the taxi door and pushed you inside.

just as noeul was moving her way inside the car you heard someone yelling your name..it was minyoung...she was running down the street frantically waving her hands at the taxi driver, trying her best to get him to not go so she could save (?) you from noeul. but it didn't work.. "go, I'll pay you more if you get us there quickly." noeuls deadpan voice only sent shivers down your spine, she was so calm. even when she was basically kidnapping you. "yes ma'am." and like that the car started and drove off, leaving minyoung there as she slumped down onto the ground..crying out of fear for you.

you were at the apartment you two shared, you were sitting on a chair at the dining table. occasionally shifting in your chair, causing it to creak under the pressure...youre only staring at your lap, refusing to stare at noeul. you're scared that if you do, youll fall into pieces in front of her...that's only an opening to getting taken advantage of. "why'd you try leaving me. why'd you break my rules. I told you clearly, but look at you now. do you know why I put up these rules?" right at the other end of the table sat noeul. her dark eyes drilling holes into your head, her voice was calm but irritated. all she wanted was for you to stay safe, so why. why dont you want to obey? "i-..I just want freedom..you're always behind me..supervising me like I'm some delicate child..I don't want it anymore" the two of you barely started speaking but you were already tearing up, you just want noeul to love you normally. you want your relationship to be normal. "y/n. you are a child. you are a helpless child. you're barely in your twenties. do you really think you can strive alone in this cruel world? you live comfortably with me because I take care of you. I keep you safe. you don't need freedom. you need safety and that's with me." her voice only got deeper and more aggressive. she was getting upset, just hearing you say you wanted to do your own things made her want to lock you inside your bedroom forever. "you're so naive y/n. you really think the world would be as nice as I've been to you? you're wrong. you wont survive without me and you know it. stop trying to be independent because we both know you'd be dead without me." tears started to stream down your plush cheeks, your nose was getting runny and your voice was getting shaky. you felt your throat close up, you felt like you couldn't speak. you didn't know what to do. "i-..I just want to be free..i- dont feel safe around you i-" a loud bang filled the small living room the both of you were sat in. noeul had slammed her hand onto the table, startling you and making you jump. this just caused you to cry harder. you were just scared, you were scared of her. you just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and hide. "scared of me? you? you're scared of me? who approached me first? who told me she liked me first? who make the first moves? it was all you y/n. you did everything. it's you're fault you're with me and now you have to deal with it. cant you just realize I'm keeping you safe? you were born to be mine. why cant you just let it process in your brain?" aa..there it was. she had a habit of turning things and pinning it onto you. you were tired of it, you were tired of this. "you always end up blaming me! why am I always wrong? why cant you just admit what you're doing is wrong! I cant even breath without you staring me down! I'd just be better off without you...not living in fear.." you sobbed into your hands, you were shaking and crying. was this a break up? were you breaking up? noeul hasn't said anything, she wasn't even moved..so maybe it was... but what you didn't know, those words to noeul were like stab into her heart. if you thought you were better off without her. then she had to show you that you truly weren't. youre nothing but a lost puppy without her... you wiped your salty tears with your sleeves, you eyes felt puffy and you were tired..maybe you'd just sleep in an alley way tonight and figure the rest out later...you got up slowly, and made your way to the front door...you were going to leave..you were doing it..you were free from her grasp.. just as your soft hands touched the cold door knob you felt something hard hit you in the back of the head...and before you knew it you fell to the floor and blacked out.

you woke up gasping for air, you were hyperventilating.. gasping loudly and uncontrollably, looking around and all you saw was darkness you couldn't see anything. you tried to get up and you felt your hands being tied down...you were handcuffed to the bed.. you started freaking out, crying as you tried to calm yourself down. "noeul..please...I'm sorry.." your words were barely over a whisper, you choked out quiet sobs as you just let yourself lay there. you had no way out. and you're slowly starting to realize this... click noeul turned on one of the bedroom lights, giving it enough light for you to look around. but not enough to light up the whole room. "princess..." your eyes snapped up, staring at the figure in front of your bed...lean and tall..it was noeul.. the shadows of her face making her features even sharper than before. she was like a wood carving..every detail was meticulously carved and shaped... "n-noeul..please..I'm sorry.. let me go.." tears staining the collar of your sweater, you stared up at her. desperate for her help. "nope." she deadpanned, but her face wasn't stoic. she was smiling..the same smile she gave you before she left for her job. it wasn't genuine. it was sinister..and intimidating. "who was that girl? the one that chased after you when we left. was that your new girlfriend? is she why you're trying to leave me?" your eyes widen as you shake your head frantically. the last thing you want her to assume you're doing is cheating..especially right now. "n-no I'm not close to her like that! shes just my old co worker.. she isn't even my friend..." you gulp, your throat feels dry and your head is getting fuzzy. she believes you right? she'll let you go once she realizes you're telling the truth.. right? her icecold face feels like its burning you, you cant tell what shes thinking. and it scares you shitless. "yeah. so is that why she wrote her number on your hand? or are you gonna keep acting stupid." wait..what? you stared at her with genuine confusion, unsure what she was talking about. and its not like you could stare at your hand to check..and she caught on your confusion. she knows how you act. you've been together for 2 years now..she knows you. "she wrote her number on your hand. I guess you didn't know though...why would you let someone else touch you though. or speak to you." you stared at her...you didn't know what to say...so you just looked away and stayed quiet. you didn't want to trigger her even more.. "I guess I'll just have to show you that you're mine. and mark you while I'm at it too.." she smiles, her eerie smile..as always... she turned around and walked towards a nightstand near the bed, she opened the top cabinet and took out two things that made your breath hitch in your throat. a knife and a barrel. you started to kick your feet and squirm under the restraints she put on you. you dont want to die...you don't want to die like this.. "don't worry doll, I wont you....I'll just..show you that you belong to me" he sets the gun down next to you before lifting your skirt and grazing the knife on your plush thighs. you started to cry, the feeling of the cold metal touching your skin was terrifying. what if she cuts deep? what if it gets infected? what if- your body jolts up at the stinging feeling that's overwhelming your right thigh. you cant look at it. you cant. but you can feel warm blood drip from your thigh and on to the blanket under you. youre shaking uncontrollably now..you don't know what to do..you cant do anything either way.. you stare down and watch her as she carefully moves the sharp knife on the skin of your thigh. your blood painting the knife red as she carves her name on your thigh.. KANG NO EUL the cuts are large, it takes up half your thigh...you can feel the stinging..it hurts...the blood...you feel dizzy... and if the fact noeul just carved her name onto you wasn't bad enough, her licking the blood off of you made it worse. "your blood tastes nice...i can only wonder how you taste. hm?... I already know ofcourse.. but I forgot already."

she smiled up at you, but her smile was different..not full of anger..but desire. maybe it was how her eyes looked. or the context of what just happened but..it made you feel some way. "a-are you done now..I'm scared..." noeul stares at you, a blank stare and leans down and licks ur cheek so slow that it makes you almost uncomfortable .. "youre so cute when you're scared. it makes me horny.. did you know that?" she gave you her infamous smile before quickly grabbing the gun next to you and pointing it at your head.. if you weren't scared before you definitely were now. "you wanna live, right baby?" you nodded like a madman, your eyes looking up at her. pleading with her for your life with just your eyes... but if noeul had a dick it'd be ripping through her pants right now, staring at you so vulnerable and scared..it makes her so horny. you're so weak..she needs to ruin you.. she tapped the tip of the gun onto your lips as she looked at you with a creepy wide grin, her soulless eyes scrunching up in the corner. "deep throat the gun and you'll live." what...w- you cant do that.. its a gun...guns aren't toys to mess around with..you...you don't want to.. "if you dont want to that's fine. ill just pull the trigger and leave you here dead. are you gonna be smart, or stupid y/n." you gulped down, your mouth was dry and you felt like you'd die of dehydration at any second. your lips quivered as you opened your mouth wide enough for noeul to push the gun into your mouth. you started to suck at the gun, occasionally gagging as noeul pushed the gun too far into your throat. your movements were limited as your arms were still chained onto the bed frame. wet noises filled the room and you sucked on the gun as if it were a dick. your spit dripping off your chin and the gun. "ffucck..if I knew how hot this would be before i wouldve made you do this ages ago.." your face started to heat up, your face pounding inside your chest as you stared at noeul. her breathing was getting heavy and uncoordinated... she was getting turned on. your mouth made wet slurping noises, you were doing good and haven't stopped..until you flinched and took the gun out of your mouth.. noeuls thumb sneaked under your skirt and had started to make circles around your clothed clit. you held in your noises but some snuck their way through. noeul looked up at you, face a bit flushed and stared at your mouth.. "who told you could take the barrel out of your mouth?" you flinched eyes zapped around the room, as if looking for someone who could potentially be looking at the two you before stuffing your mouth with the gun again. you started up at her with wide dilated pupils, your huge eyes now burning holes into her head. and God did she love it. your face was flushed red as you felt noeuls fingers slip your panties off, the cold air of the room hit your pussy as you shivered under the cold air. the stinging, the cold air, the metal of the gun.. all your senses are getting overwhelmed you don't even know what's happening. noeul takes the gun out of your mouth, giving you a chance to properly breathe. your rabid breaths and wet lips would drive any sane person insane. "fuck you're so sexy, js wanna ruin your body.." her other hand walked its way up your torso and your lips, she opened her mouth slightly..instructing you to do the same. you opened your mouth and let noeul shove 2 of her long fingers inside your mouth. the cold skin was a contrast to your warm wet mouth...you started to suck at them harshly, like you would die if you didn't. noeuls other hand started to rub your clit, causing you to shake and shiver under her touch... she was playing around with you, teasing you...until you finally felt two of her fingers go inside of you.. you moaned embarrassingly loud against her fingers as she moved her fingers in a rough pace. curling them, making a scissoring motion, plowing them in and out... it all hurt you, it felt like she was trying to split you in half.

your pussy made disgusting wet sounds, it was so loud it filled the room.. not only that but the sounds your mouth made as you were sucking on her other fingers made it considerably worse. "n-noeul ah- mh..fuck it hurts s-stop..." your words were a little muffled but the message still got out..it hurt and you didn't like that... noeul stared at you before slamming her fingers in and out of you insanely fast. it made you choke out a mix of a moan and screech because it just hurt so bad but also felt so so so good. noeul leaned down and was inches away from your face, her hot breath tickling your soft skin.. "you don't get to decide what I do to you. I'll ruin your body today and you wont be able to do shit about it." she grinned before taking her face away from yours. she shoved her fingers out of your mouth with a pop before slapping her hand hard against your tender cheek. leaving a red spot before rubbing the warm skin... "you understand?" her soft eyes stared into yours, you felt...weirdly safe? you couldn't pin point what you felt but it was nice.... "y..yeess ah- oh....noeul...fuck.." you arched your back against the bed, you felt yourself getting closer and closer..her fingers filling up your cunt as your juices dripped onto the blanket underneath you, some of it mixing with the now dried blood there too. "are you getting close baby?" her fingers goings faster and faster, at a speed you weren't sure was humanly possible. you nodded frantically, trying your best to grind onto her fingers even if you could barely move with the restraints tied to your wrist. "nope!"she gave a creepily happy expression before taking her fingers out of your cunt. "you don't really deserve it yet."

the two of you were at the dining table again, she had uncuffed you from the bed. and now you were sitting at the table you sat at only a few hours ago...your legs forced open, showing off for noeul. "you're so pretty...and delicate.." noeul got up from her chair and walked over to you grabbing the knife she used to cut your thigh. she traced it along your skin, making small patterns with it but never pressing hard enough to actually cut you. "you'd do anything for me right? you've realized how important I am to you right?" your voice feels shaking and sore, you don't know if you should say yes or no...but you had a feeling you'd die if you said no.. "y-yes mommy..i-..id do anything for you... m' entire world..." you looked up at her, you had no idea what was taking over you. you were just so fucking horny for her. you needed her so bad even if you were terrified. you raised your legs a little and used your fingers to spread your pussy for her. "u-use me up please..." she grinned at you, she stared at you like a proud mother... like the mother you never had.. "good girl..." she patted your head, like she was petting a stray dog she found off the side of the street...like you weren't nothing more than a little pet for her to use. "then fuck yourself with this gun." she reached her hand behind her, setting down the knife and grabbing the barrel that sat at the table. usually you'd be freaking out right now, squirming in your chair and pleading with her to just pick anything else but..you weren't. you were just so needy for her, you needed to make her proud. forgive you for being bad...and..its not like its much different compared to deep throating one right?

your slick juices covered the cold metal of the gun as you started to insert it in you. it was large and it felt a lot more..unique..than what you're used to.. you pumped it in and out of your cunt, it was making loud noises and you were moaning and gasping at the feeling...it felt surprisingly good...you wanted more..more..more...you shoved it deeper and deeper inside of your gummy hole until you just couldn't put more inside, you were grinding onto it. moaning and letting whines and whimpers escape your mouth. you stared up at noeul noticing her usually calm stoic face flushed and scrunching up. she was touching herself to you. rubbing her clit as she watched you fuck yourself with the gun shes used to kill a few people in her life..it was so thrilling...so fucking hot. "n-noeul..can I cum..please ah-.." you were gasping, squirming and panting. you wanted to cum...she didn't let you cum on her fingers and you were twitching with neediness. you wanted to release..you could feel it coming and you weren't sure if you could hold back any longer.. "y..yeah..go ahead sweet heart..cum for me..ffuuck.." based on her breathing and the shakiness in her tone..she was close too...you moved it in and out of your cunt, sticky wet liquids all over your inner thighs, gun and some on your hands...you need this..you needed to release you need to.. "a-aah aou..ahh~ mm..yes..yes...ou m cumming m cumahh~!" your loud voice echoed throughout the apartment. your back arching against the chain as you came all over the gun, it felt so good..so fucking good... "that was so hot y/n...fuck...I need more of you.. now."

...

Another note:was the ending too abrupt? sorry if it was fue fue T T n sorry if the story seems too rushed esp the ending...bc it was.. I haven't written in a while so,, sorry if most of this sucked or felt repetitive>.< ....

[mercurial-chuckles]

Catharsis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader A/N: Follow up to Mirthless Monday Thought! Sorry for subjecting you all to the moody vibes and leaving you hanging on that cliff. Hopefully, this makes you all smile. Leave me a thought if you enjoyed! Also, special thanks to @stellar-solar-flare for giving me a push by doing the 'writing weekend!' Thanks, love! Look how much it helped, Stella. We should totally do these more often. ;) Warnings: Fluff | Distress due to sustaining injuries. Nothing graphic | Non-fatal injuries | Protective Bucky | Mutual Pining | Happy Ending | Clearing up 'n' Confessions | Crying Bucky, gosh, he's so fucking sweet, I wanna smother him with love | One scorching kiss or two | Language | ~4k | Unedited | Lemme know if I'm missing anything Note: Do not Steal, Copy, or Plagiarize any part of my work! Banner credits to me. Picture credits to the internet. Divider credits to @buck-star Thank you :) Check out my other works: Masterlist

Indulge Away!

Oh.

Oh.

Kate Tucker from Middle School. The memory of punching her for bothering a boy named Blake crept into your mind vividly. Did Kate remember that? Did Blake? You hadn't thought of either in years, yet here they were, haunting the hallways of your mind with other unwarranted thoughts.

A fractured chuckle escaped your lips at the sheer randomness of your delirious thoughts.

The rustling beside you brought your focus to the squirrel, frozen mid-step, staring at you with shiny eyes. The moment you tilted your head, you groaned at the pain that shot in your back, and the poor thing bolted, leaping away.

"Sorry," you muttered hoarsely after the squirrel, wincing as the movement shot sharp pain through your body again.

You leaned your head against the tree behind you; the rough bark, though slightly uncomfortable, felt like the greatest support. You would probably feel more comfortable at the safehouse in view, maybe a quarter mile away, but in your condition, it might as well have been across the ocean.

You could see the dilapidated-looking walls of the shack. It just looked that way, and you bet it was fully equipped to last anyone for a few days.

You shifted your longing gaze from the warm confines of the safehouse and looked ahead at the evening sky. The warmth from the sun gave you some respite from the shivering chills your body felt. You've always loved sunsets, but this one felt dreadful.

The sun was still high on the horizon. You'd slumped here around morning to escape the harsh light, but now, as the shadows grew behind you and the air turned colder, you couldn't shake the fear that the night would dawn for you much earlier.

A strong gust of wind had you hugging yourself for the warmth. You had thrown away the jacket and the tracking device in the water as a diversion for the two agents trailing behind you a few hours ago. You've lost them at the creek, and they must have thought you fell into it after sustaining injuries.

That was a few hours ago. Now, as the sun traversed into the horizon, doubt crippled you.

And just like that, your mind sought solace in thoughts of Bucky like it usually did.

When he fell off that train, did he lay there in the cold, half-conscious and hopeful. Did it feel like this? Or was he blissfully unconscious until his fate was sealed?

You've hated Hydra for everything that they did, but you hated them with vengeance for what they did to the man you loved.

When you first met Bucky, you were floored by how intensely handsome he looked. But you never intended to be anything but friends despite the crush. But after a year, you irrefutably fell for him. Nobody knew about it as you didn't share it with another soul for fear of mockery.

That stupidly gorgeous, brooding, ocean-blue-eyed, perfect man deserved whatever he wished for in this world. And he didn't clearly wish for you. He made it clear time and time when he avoided you.

'Mind your business.'  That memory vividly haunted you every second since the moment he uttered those words. Your heart splintered with pain, unable to contain.

In hindsight, your taking up this mission was fueled by the aftermath of the emotions.

Now, there was a chance you would never see him or your friends.

In intellection, you shouldn't have poured your heart into your journal. What if someone read it? What if Bucky read it? Would he feel sad if you weren't around anymore? Would he feel a twinge of guilt for what he'd said to you that day?

Ugh!

Bucky did have a point, though. You should have minded your business, but the heart was a greedy bitch. Right? You were so hopelessly smitten with that man.

Your eyes followed a leaf cascading down gracefully from the tree, and it fell right on your wounded calf.

You picked it up, your fingers trembling as you examined the crimson stain it had collected from your bruise. For a moment, a morbid thought crossed your mind. Maybe you could write your thoughts in blood. Would anyone even find them?

There's so much you wanted to tell. There were so many things left undone. You wanted to tell Peter to stop being a coward and confess to his friend. You wanted to give Natasha her birthday gift and see the rare softness in her smile. You wanted to take Steve to that art gallery featuring sketches you'd secretly submitted under his name. You wanted to visit Laura and the kids, hug Pepper, and one-up Tony.

And Bucky. You wanted him to find happiness. And you also selfishly wished that he smiled at you once, just once, before…

The edges of your vision blurred, and you flailed sideways, letting your hand take the weight of the body you collapsed at the foot of the tree uncomfortably.

You should probably muster everything in you to get yourself to the safehouse, but it felt like a Herculean task. Still you tried and moved an inch, but you collapsed right there, sprawled on your back.

It was what it was.

Keep me company. You mouthed to the tree above, the trilling birds, and the squirrel that curiously kept its distance, munching on the acorn it had carried from the tree you laid beneath.

You tilted your head and felt the evening hues dance behind your teary lids before you fell asleep.

****

George Finley was intimidated by Bucky Barnes, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was the former Winter Soldier, now Avenger. No, it was not the reputation that made George fear the man, but it all had to do with the sheer animosity directed his way by the supersoldier.

George wondered why because he had only met the Sergeant three times, including today, but each encounter had left him a bundle of nerves that almost had him take Benzodiazepines.

The second time had left him the most shaken. George had watched, dumbstruck, as Bucky crushed a metal water bottle in his bare hand. It hadn't even been his metal arm.

At the time, George had foolishly believed Bucky's excuse: "Still getting used to the strength," he'd said with a shrug to George's colleague, Tina, who shrieked in fear. Bucky looked straight at George, flexing the Vibranium arm for good measure. George hadn't given it much thought then because he hadn't realized then what had triggered the display of strength.

After today, George wasn't just intimidated--he was terrified, and for good reason. The strong grip of the Sergeant's hand from earlier, when he had hauled him out of the medbay and barked that he had 90 seconds to pack everything necessary, had been enough to leave a red, angry bruise on his wrist. The memory of being all but carried to the jet by the towering supersoldier made George's stomach churn.

George avoided the Sergeant throughout the long jet ride, staying as far away as possible. He briefly considered striking up a conversation with the pilot to ease his nerves, but quickly dismissed the idea, fearing that any movement, however innocent, could trigger the supersoldier's wrath toward him.

So, when George watched the Sergeant freeze at the sight of you lying wounded on the ground, partially covered by scattered leaves, it all became clear. George had assessed your condition upon finding you-you'd lost blood, but you still had a pulse and were stable. Yet the super soldier stood utterly motionless, as if paralyzed, and on the verge of collapse.

"Sergeant, we need to get her to the safe house." George could see nothing was registering in the supersoldier's head. He had to explicitly yell at him, "SERGEANT BARNES, SHE's OKAY… we need to get her there to treat her better."

George had seen a lot of cases in his modest experience, but he had never seen a more apt representation of 'breath being restored.' Sergeant Barnes took a startling breath, nodded helplessly, and lifted you carefully, wincing himself at your injuries, chanting, 'You're okay' under his breath.

And it became as vivid as a 3D ultrasound image to George now. That fateful day, when he and his colleague, Tina, had been talking casually, George had mentioned that he thought you were cute and wondered if you might go on a date with him. He didn't notice Bucky standing nearby until he heard Tina's shriek and turned and saw the bottle crumble in the Sergeant's hand.

Yeah, the animosity made sense after one whole year.

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes was hopelessly in love with you.

~

Somewhere while treating you, the super soldier softly grunted an apology for earlier and he had muttered, "Call me Bucky," and George internally sighed happily.

Later, as the two sat in tense silence, George clung to a sliver of hope. Maybe--just maybe--helping to take care of you would finally earn him a spot in Bucky's good books. Or, at the very least, it might get him out of Bucky's bad ones.

So far, it didn't seem likely.

The night dragged on awkwardly. The few words exchanged were clipped and terse. Bucky had mentioned that their jet had gone for backup, ferrying prisoners from a nearby Hydra camp, which meant they were stuck here for now.

They'd eaten instant noodles in silence. George had unapologetically finished his portion because he was barely surviving on a pizza that he ate last night during his shift at the Compound. Bucky barely touched his noodles, twirling the fork while sitting beside you and watching you. After he ate, Bucky pointed at the couch and said, "Sleep."

George was grateful and knew no storm could move Bucky from your side. So, he scurried away to catch up on some sleep after staying awake for almost a whole day. God, it felt like his residency days.

As he lay there, he wondered whether Bucky confessed his feelings because, as far as George and a few other guys who crushed on you knew, you were very much single.

~

George was jolted awake a few hours later by a sharp, insistent shaking. His eyes flew open to see Bucky looming over him, tensed.

"Why isn't she awake yet?" Bucky hissed lowly, and George scrambled upright. He cast a look your way and then at the tall man.

"She's fine," George croaked, rubbing the sleep away from his face and trying to sound calm. "Painkillers are working. She just needs rest."

But Bucky's piercing glare didn't waver.

Resigned, George got up and checked on you again. "She's doing better," he said after a moment, gesturing toward you. "See? Steady breathing, color's back. Temperature's normal. You can relax."

Bucky nodded curtly and moved to the kitchen, fussing over the coffee machine.

George was not lying. You were recovering much faster. He saw a cup filled with water and a rag of a cloth beside the cot. Bucky must have sat beside you all night. It must have helped bring down the fever.

"Did you sleep at all, Sergeant?" He asked curiously, but all he got was a grunt. George took that as a "no."

Leaning back against the wall beside the small aisle of the kitchen, George sighed, exhaustion settling over him after sleeping on that hard, rickety couch. Please wake up soon, he thought. If not for your sake, then for the sanity of a supersoldier.

****

You woke to the aroma of coffee. And then you heard the shuffling. The surface beneath you felt much softer than you remembered, too soft to be the cold, hard ground.

Were you dreaming?

Your hazy consciousness urged you to move your head, and as you did, you felt the unmistakable comfort of a pillow beneath it.

Oh.

Slowly, you willed your eyes to open, squinting as they adjusted to the warm light of the room.

A figure hovered nearby, and he looked oddly familiar. You blinked again, the image sharpening into focus.

Dr. Finley?

"Your hair's longer," you mumbled, or at least, you thought you did. The words came out slurred, and the effort left your throat burning.

"What?" Dr. Finley's voice sounded distant, as if muffled by a cloth, "Sorry, I didn't catch that. Relax. You've gotta have some water…take it slow."

You licked your lips. Water. Yes, you needed water.

Before you could nod, you became aware of the presence on your other side. A tall, muscular man, all too familiar scent.

Bucky.

He sat beside you, the bed dipping under his weight, a small Dixie cup of water in his hand. Seeing him made you gasp softly, from exhaustion or maybe disbelief.

This had to be a dream.

Your eyelids fluttered closed again tiredly.

But then you heard Bucky calling your name so softly. It felt too real yet unbelievable. Your eyes cracked open, the haze in your mind lifting ever so slightly.

"Drink it, please," Dr. Finley said, but it wasn't his voice you were focusing on. It was Bucky's warm, calloused hand slipping beneath your neck, cradling it as he carefully lifted you.

"Slowly," Bucky murmured, his tone softer than you'd ever heard it. His touch was warming, soothing, and worrying you all the same.

The cool water met your parched lips, and you drank greedily, welcoming the relief it brought to your dry throat.

"Good," Dr. Finley said, watching you closely as Bucky eased you back down, his movements almost unnervingly tender.

"You hurt yourself pretty badly. Lost a lot of blood, but you're okay now. Nothing some rest won't fix." Dr. Finley said.

You nodded faintly, your voice hoarse as you asked, "Did they catch the two agents? The Hydra base?"

Dr. Finley hesitated, his eyes flicking to Bucky. "Yeah, the team handled it. But you should focus on healing…"

You barely heard the rest. Your mind was spinning, questions bubbling to the surface.

Why was Bucky here? Was this Steve's doing? Memories of your last interaction with Bucky vividly flashed, 'Mind your business.' It made your body tense instinctively, and the shift didn't go unnoticed.

Both men were staring at you now, concerned.

"Hey, easy," Bucky said quickly, his brows furrowed. "Are you okay?"

You nodded curtly, though your pulse quickened under the weight of his gaze and the hand resting on your forehead and scalp. You were too exhausted to deal with this, with him. Maybe… maybe if you pretended to fall back asleep, it would all go away.

"You should rest as much as you can," Bucky said. You didn't reply. Instead, you closed your eyes again, letting the warmth of the pillow pull you into the safe, inside hell and heaven of your mind.

****

Washing away the tiredness and the dried blood felt good. Bucky had gone out of his way to set up everything for you--a chair, a bucket of warm water he'd heated himself, and a clean towel he must've found somewhere in the back room. He'd even stepped outside, giving you privacy as you awkwardly washed up.

Every time you glanced at the closed door, you could practically feel him stare at you from the other side.

The blue Henley, his worn blue Henley, sat on the chair nearby, and he apologized for not carrying your clothes when he carefully removed his shirt and sat it on the small shelf beside the shower, reachable to you. You had no idea what to say to that except nod with a barely there smile. Your mind ate away at the idea of wearing his clothes. It was such a terrible circumstance, and you really wanted this all to end.

Earlier, when you requested to wash up after waking up all sweaty as your fever came down, you were looking straight at George, asking him, but George shared a look with Bucky--who you've been trying to actively avoid looking--and hurried outside about making a call, flashing an awkward grin, mumbling, 'He's got it.'

No. You groaned internally. George didn't understand that Bucky didn't want you to be anywhere near him.

Why was Bucky even here? Why was he going out of his way to help you? Was he guilty? Did he feel bad? Was that it?

By the time you were finished and had carefully changed into the Henley that smelled like him, felt like a warm hug on a cold day, and made you even giddier, exhaustion tugged at your limbs.

Bucky appeared a moment later when you called him, moving cautiously, his eyes scanning you, checking for any signs of distress. He carried a bottle of water, twisting off the cap before handing it to you without a word.

You accepted it with a murmured thanks, sipping slowly. His eyes flickered down your body briefly before returning to meet yours. You flushed under his watchful gaze.

Neither of you filled the silence, yet it felt threateningly loud!

~

Bucky helped you ease onto the bed, his brow furrowing as he caught your wince. Your legs stung despite his gentle touch. Once settled, you sat upright, your legs carefully placed on the floor.

You glanced up at Bucky, craning your neck from where you sat. "You didn't have to… do all this," you murmured uncertainly, guilt lacing your tone, and you averted your gaze. "I mean… thank you, but… you shouldn't…"

Bucky cut you off before you could finish, shaking his head vehemently, "Don't," he rasped, his voice intense. His eyes locked onto yours, almost pleading.

"Bucky," you called out softly, and to your utter shock, he dropped to his knees in front of you, his metal hand bracing on the floor while his right hand hovered near your leg, hesitant, unsure. The sight made your breath hitch, and you instinctively leaned back, utterly shocked.

"I haven't heard you call my name for four days." Bucky rasped, clearing his throat. He stared for a few long seconds before ruefully continuing, "I've been desperate to hear it," he admitted with a humorless chuckle, the sound edged with self-deprecation.

"Wh… what?" you stammered dumbly, your mind scrambling to process his words. Why would he say that?

He smiled at you, his smile not reaching his eyes, almost sad, making your heart tug painfully.

"Don't thank me," he said hoarsely, straightening so he was at your eye level. His voice cracked as his head dipped slightly, his shoulders slumping, "Don't… don't make it sound like that. Like you're not worth."

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Your throat tightened, the lump of unspoken emotion making it impossible.

"I'm sorry, doll," he murmured, his eyes searching yours.

When you looked confused, he cleared his throat, and his gaze shifted.

Gently, he reached out and pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear. His touch sent instant warmth to the last of your nerves.

He licked his criminally pink lips, "Sorry for saying… you know," he gestured with a tilt of his head, silently pleading with you to understand without making him say it aloud.

A scorned heart could wound anyone, but couple it with a marching mind on painkillers; it made you say things without a damn filter.

"Mind my business?" you asked rather softly.

He exhaled a long sigh, his eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head. "I..."

You watched as his shoulders trembled. His right hand gripped the edge of the bed beside your leg, his knuckles white under the strain while the other rested against his side, the Vibranium glinting faintly in the dim light.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, his voice ragged, broken. His head dipped lower, the tremors wracking his body with every inhale. "I'm so sorry…"

"Bucky…" you whispered, your voice barely audible, your chest aching at the sight of him like this.

He looked at you then, his eyes red-rimmed, tears streaking his face, raw and vulnerable. You'd never seen him so torn. It hurt you to see such a formidable, resilient man so vulnerable before your very eyes.

"I didn't mean it," he rasped, his voice cracking. "God, I didn't mean it. I was a coward. I was scared, and I... I pushed you away because I thought I didn't deserve you. I don't deserve you." He sucked in a shuddering breath, his eyes glistening as he shook his head. "But I can't do it anymore. I can't act like you…"

There was a lot to unpack there. You didn't want to assume where the conversation was headed. Your mind was still grappling with everything he was saying.

Your hand moved on its own, gently brushing the dampness from his cheeks as you leaned forward, your heart lodged in your throat. "Bucky, it's okay…"

"NO," he hissed, his voice breaking. Tears spilled freely down his face. "No… you were this close to… I almost lost you, and I would've lost the chance to tell you how much I… how much I love you..."

"What," you let out a disbelieving laugh.

No. No. It couldn't be. But he was before you, his hand gripping yours so firmly, hovering over you so close that you could feel the heat of him, his warmth wrapped around you like a blanket.

"Make me your business," he exclaimed, his voice trembling as he grabbed your hand, firmly clutching it to his face. The stubble on his jaw felt rough against your palm, a strangely sensual sensation that sent a shiver down your spine. "Please. Make me your goddamn business. I don't care if I don't deserve it. I don't care if it's selfish. Just...let me be yours."

Your lips parted, your breath catching as his words slammed into you. His eyes searched yours desperately, pleading.

If you were in a state of better comprehension and reception, you might have called him a dork, an adorably hot one, too, because who else would say, "Make me your business"? It almost made you smile.

"Bucky…" you whispered again, your voice shaking, your free hand brushing back a strand of hair from his forehead. "I…I didn't think you…"

Tears blurred your vision, the intensity of his unfinished words leaving you breathless. You hesitantly cupped his face with both hands now, your thumbs gently wiping away the damp trails of tears on his cheeks.

Your heart ached, trying to find the words.

"Don't cry," you murmured, your own voice cracking as you leaned in closer, your forehead resting against his. "Please don't cry. I'm here. I'm right here."

His forehead dropped against yours heavily, his breath uneven and ragged as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. You held him there, your hands gentle on his face.

"I don't want you to mind your business… never, never… just make me your business… I'm not perfect, but please… just give me a chance… and I will treat you right..." he confessed, and your entire body trembled.

A happy sob broke free from your throat, shaking your head in disbelief, unable to fully comprehend.

"I would," he said, his voice fierce, his grip on your hand tightening as he surged forward just enough that you could feel his lips so close against yours. "I would. Every damn day. Please…"

It pained you to see him plead.

His confession made you euphoric, yet speechless.

You wanted to shout it, to scream that you loved him too, that you had always loved him, but the words caught in your throat.

Somewhere in the depths of your mind, this felt like a fairytale, one that you would wake up from any moment, realizing you were still lying under the tree, cursing your mind for crafting such a beautiful dream.

When you didn't say a word, his expression faltered, and he began to inch away, shoulders and jaw clenched.

"Did I... did I get it wrong? Do you not like me?" he whispered, and your heart shattered at the vulnerability in his voice.

Even if it felt so surreal, and even if it was a dream, you couldn't be the reason for his sadness. So, you shook your head, blinking away the tears that blurred your vision, and a smile formed on your lips effortlessly.

"No, Bucky... you didn't get anything wrong," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I am hopelessly in love with you. It's truly worrisome how much," you added with a soft chuckle, the sound light and shaky, your heart bursting.

He chuckled, relief washing over him as he leaned forward again, carefully cradling your jaw. "Can we have tea tomorrow? You don't have to lift a finger. I'll make it for us and get all your favorites from Deniro's, even those weird-looking cake pops," he pleaded, his eyes warm with hope. You laughed, nodding frantically, heart swelling with joy that he remembered your favorite cafe.

"Get up and sit here, please. You've been kneeling there; sure, your old knees will start aching..." You pointed gently at the spot beside you.

Bucky rolled his eyes with a playful glint dancing in them, he inched forward, bringing his body even closer to you, careful to avoid your legs, his frame engulfing yours.

"I just need to do this…" He whispered against your lips, waiting.

You leaned forward, heart pounding as the heat of his lips tickled yours.

You really had no idea what kissing Bucky Barnes would feel like. You imagined it a million times, though, but you hadn't realized how perfectly consuming it would be. Bucky kissed like it was his first-ever kiss. Maybe it was after Hydra and everything, the way he pecked slowly at first and then sighed with a groan. Then, he licked his lips, carding his fingers in your hair and pulled you even closer.

"You taste so goddamn divine," he growled, softly breaking the kiss, letting his lips suck onto your lower lip, and you moaned helplessly. The sound spurred him on, and he suckled on your lower lip, tongue, and teeth, tracing your lips.

You couldn't take it anymore. Desperately, your hands found his neck, and you pulled him, and he eagerly pushed his tongue against yours. You clenched delightfully at the way you were turned on, and a moan escaped you. Bucky frantically grabbed your back, pressing you against his chest. His undershirt didn't hide his broad muscles flexing making you even more hot and bothered. Your tits practically smushed against his broad chest, and you readily complied, reducing the space between you both even more if possible.

A shooting pain made you hiss, and Bucky pushed himself away, his eyes wide, flushed, and dazed.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, so sorry…" he whispered, placing his hands gently on your outer thighs. Your skin blazed where he touched, goosebumps trailing in its wake.

Your breathing was shallow as you gulped, one hand resting on his cheek and the other clutching his right palm.

"I'm okay. Don't apologize. You're fine, more than fine. We should probably just wait it out," you blushed, gesturing to your bandaged legs.

Bucky nodded, smiling, his darkened eyes crinkling with lightness, and you felt your heart skip a beat.

He was so bloody gorgeous. It was fucking unreal.

An exaggerated sound of someone clearing their throat broke your reverie. Dr. Finley stood at the entrance, wide-eyed, awkwardly shifting on his feet. You felt embarrassed, wondering just how much he had witnessed.

"Um... sorry to interrupt, but the jet is here... We are expected to leave," Dr. Finley said, his voice nearly at a squeaky pitch.

Bucky glared at the man.

"Thanks, Dr. Finley," you managed to say.

"Take as a doctor's note," he paused, glancing at you, "You should probably avoid any strenuous activities until you heal," he said, awkwardly shuffling on his feet before taking off.

Bucky rolled his eyes, and you choked on your breath.

"Ready to go?" Bucky asked, unbothered, with a grin on his face. You nodded. His thumb gently grasped your lower lip, pulling it away from your teeth. It made your heart frolic in sweet agony.

"Don't tempt me, please." He growled, making you gasp at the tone.

And it truly felt dreamlike that night when Bucky held you in your room at the compound, sleeping soundly like a baby. He wrapped you tightly in his arms, your legs resting on the wedge pillow he 'borrowed' from someone's room. You'd probably find out tomorrow when everyone was back.

You slept feeling perfectly whole. And you felt invigorating, like finally accomplishing something you'd suffered through for so long or shedding a heavy weight you'd been carrying for far too long.

Baring your souls and unburdening emotions to become one!

A perfect catharsis, indeed!

Well?🩷🥹

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[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[sc0tters]

Loved You Forever | Luke Hughes

summary: four times you and luke knew you both wanted more, the one time a move was made, and the one time you both actually remembered it.

request: yes/no

warnings: underaged drinking (if you're american), minimal swearing.

word count: 6.16k

authors note: happy February loves! I realised that this might have been a better valentines day piece but too late? I am actually in love with this piece though and it was seriosuly so much fun to do another 5+1 thing and I'm pretty sure that this is my first proper attempt at it. I am nothing but a slut for best friends to lovers with Luke! After the loss tonight I think we all deserved something sweet so I also think this might be one of my first attempts at tooth rooting of sweet?

Luke had been in your life for as long as you could have remembered. 

The two of you met during a day at the park, you had been desperate to be on the seesaw but as your siblings got caught up with Jack and Quinn it left you alone, sat on the one side all by yourself “can I join?” Luke asked pointing at the seat that was in the air. 

A grin spread across your face “you wanna sit with me?” You asked almost not believing him “yeah you seem sad.” It seemed that it was all it took for your friendship to be formed. 

Hours were spend on that seesaw over the autumn months as you got to know him. You were no longer the sad lonely girl to him, now you were the fun and chatty one who had a dog. 

𝟏

You had been a bundle of nerves the entire week. 

In the week leading up to prom your dress was in need of alterations and your date had decided that going with the captain of the cheer team was far better suited to his taste than you. Your curling iron had also decided the morning of prom that it was going to stop working.

So while you felt like the world was against you, Luke decided to step him. He had gotten Ellen to drop off a brand new one courtesy of him of course, with a note saying that he couldn’t want to see you that night. 

The moment that he learnt about you no longer having a date he changed his own plans, well first he actually did a happy dance because now you were single which he appreciated. But then he told the hockey boys that he was breaking from the pact of going as a group. At first they all gave him stick, but when they learnt it was for you they understood. 

Because even if you were totally off limits and so clearly Luke’s girl, they all had eyes as a hormonal teen boy. And you were a total package. 

So that was how Luke ended up on what was a date but didn’t feel like it because he felt like your second choice, even if he had never been the one to ask you in the first place. Gosh he had seen all of the cringey proposals online but he knew you would have loved one of those. Something to laugh about afterwards that could be cherished as a memory forever.

Jim placed his hand on Luke’s shoulder pulling him out of this thoughts “you okay bud?” He asked cocking his head as he furrowed his eyebrows “I’m good.” Luke nodded “just worried about the time.” It was a lie but it was enough to take the attention off of him and his thoughts.

Your mom looked at her watch “y/n are you coming down anytime soon!” She called up the stairs fearing that you’d end up late and miss the limo that your friends had arranged after pictures. 

You turned down your music as you rolled your eyes. In your opinion you weren’t late, just pulling everything out of your drawers because you couldn’t find the perfect earrings to go with your dress “yeah, yeah I’ll be down there!” You yelled back focusing on what you were doing. 

Luke stood between his parents and yours “sorry about her.” Your mom apologised as she softly shook her head, knowing that this was how you were “it’s okay I mean she’s.” Luke was lucky he was cut off because it meant that he didn’t have to come up with an end to his statement. 

“I’m ready!” Your words traveled down to the group causing all of their heads to turn to your bedroom door. You were right by the top of the staircase so there wasn’t much of a walk for you before your dress was revealed in all its glory “wow.” Luke thought he had said it softly enough for nobody to hear. But the smile on Jim’s face said it all, he knew his son was in love as he watched you twirl all excited for him to finally see the dress.

The red dress hugged every part of your body that you wanted it to. And now with the alterations your slit showed the right amount of leg, it was enough to look hot but not enough to the point where the dress wouldn’t have been appropriate for a high school prom.

Luke felt his throat grow dry seeing you at the top of the stairs, with a smile painted on your face. You looked gorgeous, in every sense of the word as you radiated this glow that encapsulated your body. 

His hands grew sweaty, gripping at your corsages packaging. Watching you walk down the stairs, the sounds of your mom in awe with your dad taking pictures turned to background noise. Luke couldn’t understand how you were panicking about your hairstyle to him at lunch all week, because it seemed like it was made for you. 

You stopped on the final step holding your hand out to Luke, enjoying the moment of him in his navy blue suit. It was easy to see that he had just had his hair cut, but you weren’t going to make a comment about it as you appreciated the effort. 

Sure you wouldn’t have cared if Luke showed up in jeans and his crocs, but he knew how important the night was to you so he made it important to him. His hand was soft against yours as he helped you down the final step “you look-” he cut himself off, opting to take the chance to bask in your beauty once more. 

It made you rub your lips together nodding in agreement “you too.” The sight made Ellen place her hand on her heart. Her youngest son here stood tall and all cleaned up, in front of the girl that his parents wished he’d date. 

Luke let out a soft gasp remembering that he was still holding your corsage “this is yours.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, hoping you’d like it “it’s so pretty Lukey.” You held the plastic container in your hands pulling out the pink arrangement. 

You handed it back to him “put it on f’me will ya?” You asked watching him nod “sure.” He obliged your request seeing how pretty it looked with your manicured nails. 

Your eyes shone looking at it “it’s perfect.” You confessed leaning up to kiss his cheeks “thanks, Lukey.” You gave his arms a squeeze before you settled back in front of him. 

He prayed his cheeks didn’t betray him as they felt warm “anytime.” Luke honestly would have done anything to bring that smile out and for you to kiss his cheeks again. Even as he hoped he’d be lucky to kiss you properly one day, he prayed that this wasn’t the last time he’d get to feel one of your kisses. 

𝟐

Your high school graduation was not what you expected it to be. Sure you expected to be a little emotional leaving the place that had helped shape you into the person you were set to become. It was the place where Luke cemented his life long place as your best friend. 

You held your diploma in your hand as you searched through the crowd for him “y/n!” Luke cheered causing you to whip around. 

His smile matched yours as you let out a squeal before you ran into his arms. You almost knocked him over as you laughed “someone’s excited ‘eh?” He let out a soft laugh settling you back on your feet. 

He had spent a portion of his afternoon wishing he told you how pretty you looked “I mean how can I not be we have like properly graduated.” If you looked back at the memory now you would have laughed, you felt so prepared for the big world when in actuality you were still so young with so much more growing to do. 

Luke smiled “I mean we always knew you were going to.” Brains had always been your thing, much more than Lukes at least.

You looked at the athletics band around his shoulders “and you got this.” You toyed with the ends of it in your hands “I think we both should be proud today.” You had succeeded in your own fields, reminding each other why you did so well as friends because you were so different.

Luke could see that something else was on your mind “what is it?” He asked, seeing that there was a glimmer of excitement like you were trying to hold back a bomb of importance. You felt like a child who had been trying their best to hold off on telling the secret they promised their parents that they would keep to themselves. 

You pulled the grad cap off of your head as you took in a deep breath “remember how I told you that I wasn’t sure where I was going because of those scholarship applications?” You were the more academically inclined out of the two of you, to the extent that you did have a good chance to get some scholarships. 

This was why you hadn’t decided where exactly you were going, so Luke hadn’t been told of any of the places that had accepted you. This was the first and last time that you were ever going to be holding a secret from him, the last few weeks felt like your very own definition of torture “so you remember how we applied to some of the same schools?” You asked, reminding him that three schools appeared on both of your lists. 

He nodded, raising his eyebrows and urging you to continue, “well one of those schools was UMich, and I got in.” Luke let out a gasp, knowing exactly where this conversation was about to go “yes?” He urged you to carry on so he didn’t celebrate prematurely. 

You rubbed your lips together “well how do you feel about getting an apartment roomie?” It had been a conversation since you were both eight years old, if you went to uni together, then you were going to be roommates to some degree. 

Luke finally allowed himself to cheer as he pulled you into a hug. He spun you around as he let himself celebrate the news “I can’t believe that we are staying together.” He was honestly in shock as he finally placed you back on the ground. 

In the distance stood your mom and Ellen, who watched the interaction unfold in front of them “I wonder if this is what they need to take a step forward.” Everyone but the two of you knew about the undeniable feelings between you both. They knew it was asking for a lot, though, because you two had been around each other for so long that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be and maybe that was okay. 

Ellen smiled as she watched Luke grab your hand before he pulled you into a group of people “I think that maybe they are only going to be friends.” She let out a sigh as the words left her lips. Boy did she hope that the two of you proved her wrong.

𝟑

Luke had yet to come down from the high that was being drafted to the same team as Jack. He was absolutely ecstatic and having you there too was the perfect moment for him. His family had all come along and they mixed with his friends, every one of his supporters were in that room. 

He almost got emotional when he thought about it because none of you had to come, not to the bar afterwards and not to the draft itself either. But when his name was called by the New Jersey Devils Luke just remembered pulling you into this hug as Jack hit his back in excitement.

You were his absolute best friend and world so it was never a surprise that Luke hugged you first but still fans had been going on about how Luke basically blanked his future teammate at first. People who followed Luke’s days at Michigan knew who you were, if someone listened to Luke talk for long enough you were brought up in a conversation. And it wasn’t that it was weird for him but it was because you did everything with him so away from the ice, you were attached to every memory.

But for the people who hadn’t paid attention, you were the mystery girlfriend in their eyes. So you were also now the new target of everyone’s Instagram searches. Their comments to you saying they wished they were Luke’s girlfriend made you laugh, because you felt the same way. His name had been circled with hearts in the corners of your notebook pages. They were left in the math and English books because you knew that was where Luke would never have looked.

Luke would never have admitted it aloud but he knew whenever you weren’t in a room. The sound of your laugh burning at his ears, how you seemed to radiate this sense of light and warmth that could be felt through the room. He had been caught up in a conversation with his parents friends when he had lost that feeling. 

It was clear to them that Luke had his mind somewhere else, or well they knew it was with someone else so they let him go. You were nowhere to be seen as his eyes scanned the crowded bar “she’s out front I think Lukey!” Jack slurred his words clearly drunk but still knowing all too predictable his younger brother was. 

Luke felt his cheeks grow warm as his eyes went wide “relax dude, just go to her.” Jack laughed as he rolled his eyes, not caring about it before he went off again. 

He tried to make it subtle to anyone who watched but Luke headed straight for the door where he of course found you. You were still in his devils cap as he put it on you when he finished his media interviews. An awful attempt at a joke was made when he said that you could be a player now too.

It looked so good on you as he smiled “there you are.” It was like a weight off of his shoulders when he found you. 

You were in your own little world before you looked at him “shouldn’t you be inside?” You asked as you cocked your head “this is a party for you after all.” Luke rolled his eyes, turning the cap around so that he could see your face not covered by the lid of the cap. 

He leaned against the wall next to you “I wanted to be with you though.” You blushed at the words, your hand reached for his “I just wanted a bit of air is all.” You explained putting his mind at ease as he had worried that you were overwhelmed. 

You licked your lips “I’m proud of you tonight.” The confession made his ears ring as his head felt fuzzy “all I did was get drafted.” Luke always was one to downplay his achievements, but you never let him succeed.

A laugh escaped from you lips “Lukey you were drafted fourth and to your brothers team.” You reminded him in a duh tone “you’re actually gonna be an NHL player now.” It had been his dream for as long as he could speak, from the moment you turned seven it even had a space on your vision board cementing itself in the right hand corner. That’s how much you knew he was getting into the big leagues.

Luke looked up at the night sky before he let out a sigh “god everything is going to change isn’t it?” He chewed at the inside of his cheek feeling your eyes piercing into his soul.

The words echoed in your ears as you pushed off of the wall before you stood in front of him. Things didn’t need to change, in fact you didn’t want them to. 

You smiled as you held your pinky out to him “what is this?” He asked mimicking your movements “a promise that I will always be with you.” Your voice was sweet as you nodded. 

Luke knew he was wrong but part of him thought about how beautiful you looked in the light, how kissable your lips looked too “forever and ever?” Luke cocked his head letting a grin spread across his lips. 

Your heart throbbed at the thought, you wanted Luke around for all that time and more “forever and ever.” You agreed locking your pinky into his before you both kissed your thumbs. 

The gesture seemed small but it was something that you both could agree on. For you and Luke, it meant that the promise was written in the stars as if you had written it on sand. With every passing wave that came in with the tide, the message still stood. 

𝟒

Luke hated the fact that he was leaving soon. He knew that his time with you at university was always going to have an expiration date, but he never thought it was going to come so soon. 

You two spent all of your life together, often moving within six months of the other. So now if he really was leaving you then it felt like this was the last time. 

Your paths had always been one of the same, with both of you never straying far away from the other. Luke had gotten so used to you being around that the only person who he was worried about leaving was you. 

Life had always been the y/n and Luke party that he didn’t know how you were going to react if he left you “what’s going on in that mind of yours?” You asked finding him sat by himself. 

He smiled seeing you stumble in his direction “I am just thinking.” He confessed watching you sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. 

A giggle escaped from your lips “ain’t that dangerous.” Those words made him scoff as his eyebrows furrowed. 

You seemed so care free in that moment, it made him envy you. How did it all seem so easy for you as he felt like his head was barely above water, drowning with worry “I am kidding.” You rubbed his cheek against your thumb “what are you thinking about?” You asked urging him to let you into his thoughts. 

Your hand squeezed his cheek reminding him that you were there for him “what if I don’t make the right call going.” Luke felt that a weight was lifted off of his shoulders letting that confession slip “I think that the universe is going to put you in the best position for you long term.” You truly believed that everything happened for a reason, so if the agent did come and ask Luke to join the devils like you knew they would, then it was the right thing for him.

It seemed that you always knew what to say to him “and what do you think I should do-” Luke hugged you not taking a chance to let him finish “you are going.” You stopped him from trying to hug you. 

He raised his eyebrows “I am?” Your tone made him think you were going to be forcing him onto that plane if you had to. 

Luke ran his fingers through your hair “y’know I’m happy that you’re going.” Your confession made him furrow his eyebrows “you are?” He cocked his head as he had of course told you all about the possibility of being signed the moment he learnt the agents were coming to Florida. 

You nodded sending him a smile “I mean this had been your dream like forever and Jack will be happy to have you there.” Your explanation calmed his heart, practically brushing the worries from his mind “and how do you feel about it?” The two of you were feeling a little more open tonight as you had a bit too much vodka sprite in your system to think clearly. 

A sigh escaped your lips “honestly I’m gonna miss you.” It was the first time you actually admitted that “but it makes me so happy that you get to live out your dream.” Your hand ran along his shoulder. 

A smile formed on his face “I love you.” He blurted out unaware of the ramifications it could have had “I love you too.” You mumbled kissing his cheek. 

Luke frowned knowing that you didn’t acknowledge what he meant, he was in love with you. 

𝟓

Christmas with the Hughes family was something that you had always loved. It seemed to be a family tradition for you too as you always seemed to crack a nod to the event. 

Selfishly you loved that it was in Michigan, the short drive from campus meant that it was where you spent the first half of your Christmas break. Your parents came down to them and then brought you back home afterwards and it was the perfect little routine. 

This Christmas felt particularly refreshing as you had missed Luke, it was the first Christmas since he made the move to New Jersey and it meant that you two were forced to pack everything into the days he had off. Years of perfectly crafted Christmas traditions forced into three days that you usually put into two weeks. 

The days felt jam packed not that you or Luke cared, the only time you weren’t with each other was when you went to the bathroom. Nights he had home were spent talking to you until the sun played peek a boo in the curtains. 

Christmas night was by far your favourite highlight though, matching sweaters with Luke and eating so much that you were in a food coma. But this year something felt different, you couldn’t put your finger on it and part of you didn’t want to acknowledge it. 

You were never one to push out of your comforts and you just assumed that Luke would share the details of his life if he wanted to “will you excuse me for just a sec?” You asked cutting off one of Quinn’s old friends as you saw Luke heading up the stairs. 

The boy shot you a smile and motioned to you to go. Nobody ever needed to look hard into the relationship, you looked at Luke like he was the man who made the moon and the stars that sprinkled around the universe. It may not have been the case but he was the light of your universe and the stars of your eyes. 

Jack and Quinn couldn’t help but watch, softly elbowing each other as they knew it was only you and Luke up there “think they’re finally gonna do it?” Jack asked sipping at the eggnog from his cup. 

Quinn pursed his lips together “I think it’s been a little too long for that.” The captain craved to be proven wrong, this was probably the first and the last time he touch of that really.

You saw Luke on his phone “hey,” your voice was soft wanting to check up on him “oh hi.” Luke smiled turning around to see you. 

His phone got tucked into his back pocket “thought you were going to still be downstairs.” He added, having had watched you talk away with that boy most of the recent hour. 

But you shook your head “I wanted to check on up on you.” The act was something meant to be innocent, like it always was. Because you cared for him, this was the what you were meant to do, and what you had always done.

It made him smile “look if you want a quiet day tom-” you were almost immediately cut off “I actually just want to spend time with you alone.” Luke explained making your heart feel so full. 

You loved the way that he had with words even if you envied him, it made it so much easier falling in love with him “so you wanna stay up here for a bit?” The request made you nod, taking his hand with a squeeze as the two of you took the three step walk to his room.

His door opened letting the mistletoe drop from the frame that was only seen when the lights turned on, causing your eyes to go wide “shit.” Luke grumbled as it sat between the two of you. It was like a sign from the universe, begging for one of you to put it out of its misery. 

The mistletoe stood above the two of you, shining like it was sent from the gods to put you both out of your misery “we don’t have to.” Luke felt his jaw go slack, not wanting to make you uncomfortable as you stared up at the leaf fixture “Jack thought it was funny to put it there.” He added remembering how he was actually planning on removing it the night before. 

Oh how different that night would have turned out if he had. 

A dry laugh left your lips “who are we to go against an age old tradition?” You asked letting your eyes lock onto his “are you sure?” Luke studied how plump your lips were and god he just wanted to kiss them. 

You ran your fingers over the knitted fabric that was your Christmas sweater “I feel like I should be asking you that?” You shot back slightly raising your eyebrows as you felt that he was trying to tell you something in a softer way. 

Oh god no, he thought to himself shaking his head “I do wanna kiss you!” The panic escaped in his voice, doing little to help his nerves as his heart and mouth betrayed his brain “but only if you want to kiss me too.” The boy straightened his shirt with a cough attempting to block the embarrassment that  came over his cheeks. 

You smiled with a nod “I wanna kiss you Lukey.” Your head buzzed as you drunk one too many vodka cranberries that night.

His hand cupped your cheek as he nodded “and we agree that this won’t make anything awkward right?” His words made you roll your eyes. Sure you knew he was being cautious and you should have appreciated how much he cared for your feelings, but god you just wanted to kiss him.

So that’s what you did, you wrapped your arms around his neck so that you could bring him down to you. The move took the boy by surprise as he steadied himself placing his other hand on your hip. His lips were rough against yours, reminding you that you needed to buy him a chapstick he’d actually like. 

Luke always knew that your lips were going to taste good, but he never could have predicted that you could have taste that sweet. It caused this buzzing sense in his head that only stopped when you pulled away just as the sound of footsteps came from the stairs “oh good mom you found it!” Quinn called out going back downstairs. 

You drank in the sight of Luke, your lip gloss shone on his lips as he fiddled with his hair “I guess we should go back down?” Luke asked with a shrug as you nodded “maybe just-” you brought your thumb to his lip. Brushing your finger against his lip to collect the product from his lips “there.” You took a step back with a smile seeing that there was now no evidence of the fact that you had kissed him. 

The only issue with this kiss was that neither one of you would remember it. Well you both it, but because it was what you had longed for, it felt like a dream. And with the fear of rejection creeping up your neck like an uncontrollable rash, it was best to keep it all to yourselves. 

Because after all how does one ask someone if they really did kiss last night?

+𝟏

The crackling noises of the burning wood echoed in your ears as you stared at the campfire “you should talk to her.” Quinn’s voice was soft, somehow still startling Luke who stood by the cooler. 

His hand gripped at the new beer can “why would I do that?” Luke asked, adjusting his gaze to make out that he wasn’t looking at you “are we seriously going to do this again?” Quinn couldn’t help but let out a laugh. 

He had spent what felt like Luke’s whole life watching the both of you dance around your feelings. Luke’s lips turned upright into a smile at the sound of your laughter, which made his heart bloom with joy, but that was short-lived when he saw Jack being the cause of what you found so funny. 

Luke’s lips were quickly forced into a thin line as his hand tightened around his drink “Luke, Jack is the last guy that she would ever go for.” Quinn reminded his brother, placing his hand on his taller brothers back. 

It made the Devils player furrow his eyebrows “you don’t know that.” Everyone in fact knew that, Jack was the kind of man that you would have ended up killing if you had to live with him for the rest of your life. Hell even Luke knew it, but he was willing to forget about the logic. He never seemed ready to acknowledge that there was a chance you could like him back.

A whine escaped your lips “y’know lying is just mean right?” You sunk back into your chair “yeah well I ain’t lying.” Jack shot back rolling his eyes. 

You clearly didn’t believe the boy as your arms crossed “fine look at them right now and if he isn’t then I will shut up.” Jack clasped his hands together as if a lightbulb had turned on above him. You sighed sending him a nod as you turned your body back to the porch, allowing your eyes to scan the area for Luke. The boy cut himself off in the conversation with Quinn when your eyes locked with his “this means nothing.” You mumbled still in denial. 

It honestly should have been so obvious to you both, I mean everyone around you both noticed but the two of you.

The night carried on with you trying to ignore Jacks comments as Luke did the same. Cole let out a yawn as he blinked “I think it is time for bed.” He announced placing his hands in his thighs as he got up watching a few of the guys agree with him.

As the last two besides for you and Luke, Quinn patted Jacks shoulders “why don’t we head up to bed too?” He asked, barely giving his younger brother a chance to say no. Jack was pulled up as he sent you both a salute “don’t stay up too la-” his tease was cut off when Quinn slapped his hand over Jacks mouth. 

Luke watched Quinn and Jack walk back into the house before he turned back to see you smiling at him “what?” Luke asked pushing his curls out of his eyes. 

He worried that he had something on his face “why don’t you come sit with me?” You offered, patting the camping chair next to you. It felt weird having him sat on what felt like the other side of the fire, he was way too far away from you for your own liking “do I have to?” Luke let out this dramatic sigh letting you know he was messing with you as he got up. 

It was nice just being alone with him away from just your bedroom. Since he moved to New Jersey you really did appreciate the one on one time that you got with him “I’m glad you came this year.” Luke confessed finally taking his place in the chair next to you. 

You rested your head against the back of your chair “I’ll always come for you.” Your hand reached for his wanting to reassure him “unfortunately for you the return policy on this friendship is long expired so you’re like really stuck with me.” You spoke in a serious tone that made him laugh. 

Luke squeezed your hand “darn I was just figuring out how to write my reason for returning ya.” You reached out to hit him “and what was that going to be?” You cocked your head running your tongue along your teeth as you smirked. 

He felt his heart pound sitting closer to you “don’t think it makes a lot of sense yet.” Luke shook his head, not having an actual answer for you. 

The crackle of the fire served as the perfect background noise “well you’ve got to speak now or else you might really be stuck with me.” You pointed out sticking your tongue out at him making the boy grin as he shook his head. 

Truthfully he was never going to return you, hell it was going to have to be you returning him if anything. Even then he was not going to leave you without a fight to stay.

Luke ran his fingers along your jaw “I think coming to Jersey would be good for you.” He knew it was one of your options for what you’d do after you graduated “oh god are we gonna be those friends who end up living next to each other and raise their kids together?” You laughed opting to cover the nerves that coarsed through your veins. 

It made the boy shake his head “can I tell you something?” He asked sucking at his teeth “you know you can tell me anything.” You nodded ignoring how close your face was to his. 

Luke could hear Jack and Quinn in his mind screaming at him to finally stop being such a baby and just tell you how he felt “and it can’t change our friendship.” You now grew worried at words “you’re scaring me.” That was also what Luke didn’t want. 

So before he dug himself into a hole he just decided to jump off of the decision cliff he was on “I like you.” The words escaped from his lips “so when you talk about us living next to each other with our families it’s not nice.” He shook his head watching you listen.

But he didn’t stop there “and it kills me that you don’t feel the same-””you think I don’t like you?” You asked letting out a laugh as he nodded. 

You threw your head back shaking your head “oh god Luke I’m mad about you.” The words were meant to be innocent but they lit a fire under his ass “but then why do you talk about us raising separate families together?” Luke scoffed almost thinking that this was a dream and you were joking. 

But still it was your turn to explain to him “I thought that it was all I’d get.” You shrugged feeling your cheeks grow warm. 

Under the moonlight as the fire illuminated your face, you looked beautiful “can I kiss you?” The question was something you had wanted to hear for such a long time now “yeah.” You nodded with a grin dropping your head as he cupped your cheek so that you could kiss him. 

The kiss had you swearing that fireworks should have been going off around you guys. The boy was sweet letting the taste of whatever lipgloss you wore make him feel drunk. Was it vanilla? Or maybe even cherry? Well he didn’t really care, it taste good and he was getting to kiss you.

Jack and Quinn stood in the kitchen watching with smiles on their faces “who would have thought that it would take them this long to finally get together?” He laughed shaking his head “I am just glad that we don’t have to put up with another summer of these two and their puppy dog glances.” Quinn shuddered at the thought, mentally cringing at the idea of having to listen to Luke psych himself out of telling you how he felt. 

But what both boys forgot, was that when you have been in love with someone for so long, when you finally get them you enjoy it “oh god.” Jack slapped his hand over his mouth watching Luke pull you onto his lap. 

His hands cupped your ass, deepening the kiss as you were addictive to Luke “and just like that it got weird.” Quinn announced listening to Jack agree as they shut the blind of the kitchen window, opting to finally give you both some privacy. 

[jackabbotsfakeleg]

As Above, So Below I Chapter 3- The Oceans Grew Hands to Hold Me

Synopsis: Two attendings, one new psychologist working both the day and night shifts on a rotation. You could have sworn you heard both of them call “dibs,” and you’re more than willing to entertain the both of them. Tonight, it's Robby's turn. Pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Fem!Reader and Jack Abbot x Fem!Reader  Word count: 2.5k Warnings: Talk of mental illness and other psychological things, violence, dark humor, and some smut :) 18+, MDNI  A/N: I am crying, screaming, and throwing up over the amount of traction and support this has gotten. Y'all are so sweet. Work was so stupid this week, so i apologize for how short this is. Chapter 4 will be up hopefully by the weekend :). Also, all of the chapters are song titles and I'm an elder emo, so i listen to the songs when I write these. The song for this chapter is "The Ocean Grew Hands to Hold Me" by The Wonder Years, in case you want to get sad deep in your bones like me.   Chapter 2 I Chapter 4 Tag list is open!  @loud-mouph @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind @thebumbqueen @emilia-the-artist @boldlyherdream @felicisimor@eugene-emt-roe @i-mushi @andabuttonnose @moonlightmvrvel @miss-me-jack @dantemorenatalie @qardasngan@agreeewrites @aloudplace @painment @artsymaddie @d1n3e @damnitsthings @thicficbich1 @readinwnoon @imagines-r-s @meowmeowyoongles @ikindier @katastrophic04 @lexibearsworld @luna-loves08 @herlovelykiss @all-by-myself98 @livingavilaloca @trustme3-13

Chapter 3: The Ocean Grew Hands to Hold Me

"I'm gonna guard what's left of the good in us When the ash blocks out the sky And hold you with my left hand And ball up my right And if the bastards come for both of us I'll be right there by your side I'm by your side"

There's a moment in time, after the door closes and the liquid courage begins to wear off, where the room goes silent, your heartbeat reverberating in your ears There's no going back after this, kid. It's terrifying and unnerving and deeply electric.

You watch Robby lean back against the couch, exhaling loudly, a smile on his face, trying to come down from the high of having a girl kneeling between his legs,  his fingers in your mouth,  eyes closed –like he's trying to commit this to memory.

You move from the couch towards the refrigerator without saying a word,  Both arms on the open doors, appreciating the cold air on your hot cheeks.  Don't let him see you sweat.  Your hand wraps itself another bottle of beer But before you have a chance to open it, there are hands at your waist, this time, sliding under your shirt intentionally His fingers are warm against your skin, His breath, hot on your neck.

You can almost feel the smile on his face when he says it, lips to your ear

"Maybe some water?" 

"You think I'm drunk?" You turn around to face him, his hands sliding from your waist to your hips to steady you.

"I think" he steps forward, guiding you backwards, until your back is up against the island, his hips pressing into yours, "you've got an alcohol sensitivity."

Two fingers find your throat, pressing against your pulse point, a smirk on his face.

"Hot cheeks, increased heart rate, flushed skin," he leans forward, face inches from yours, still maintaining eye contact to grab a bottle of water on the counter behind you, untwisting the cap and handing it up to you, "drink."

"Yes, doctor." You roll your eyes as he watches you finish the bottle, "Any other medical observations you care to bestow? All this medical talk really turns a girl on.”

"Yeah, I'd like to take a look at your back.”

You take the opportunity to turn around, hands on the island in front of you, leaning up on your tip toes to grind your ass against him, "Sorry, do you remember what just happened all of 10 minutes ago? Or did I dissociate?"

He groans quietly, like he’s trying to keep it to himself, his fingers instinctively digging into the skin on your hips, pulling you against him, your back against his chest. Your hand finds the back of his neck, his lips to your ear, “Not yet.”

He takes a step back from you, and you huff at the loss of contact. 

He’s on his knees behind you before you can object, and he’s lifting your shirt up.

“It's barely nine o'clock, and you and I have the day off tomorrow, so we have all night,” His fingers press against your spine, palpating the muscles surrounding your scars, “So if it's okay with you, I'd like to squash my own intrusive thoughts that fucking you is going to worsen your injury”

“Intrusive thoughts? That’s my kind of word.”

“I may have borrowed a book from your office without your knowledge.”

“You playin’ hard to get?” You turn your head to look down at him, narrowing your eyes.

“A little bit. Why, you in a rush?”

“A little bit. Again, remember 15 minutes ago when you had your finger in my mouth?” You huff, “And remember earlier when I was joking about blowing you in my office? I’m not joking now, Michael. And you on your knees like that…”

He chuckles at your impatience and stands up palm sliding from your lower back up to the back of your neck, grabbing a fist full of hair, tugging gently, “Come on then.”

He takes your hand, leading you down the hallway into his bedroom. Just like every other room in his house, it’s beautiful, some real doctor money bullshit. One of the walls is ceiling to floor windows, there’s an attached bathroom with one of those rainfall shower heads, and it dawns on you that he must really fucking enjoy his days off.

You take a seat on the edge of his bed, and you reach out for him, hands pulling him towards you by the fabric of his shirt 

He stands between your legs, looking down at you. You slide your palms under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours, his fingers trace your jaw, lifting your chin to look up at him.

“We’re supposed to be having fun,” You frown

“Are you not having fun?”

“I am having about as much fun as I can have with our clothes still on. Unless you have scrabble?”

“Me obliterating you at scrabble does sound incredibly sexy.”

“Cool it, med school. I could have gone pro. Now take off your shirt.” You tug at the bottom of his shirt 

“You know, you’re incredibly impatient.”

He eventually obliges, his hand reaching behind his head to pull his shirt off in one smooth motion.

“Oh, fuck off right now”,” You can’t help but reach out to run your fingers over the muscles of his abdomen, “You’ve been hiding this under that hoodie?”

He shakes his head at you, rolling his eyes, pleased with himself.

“Ok now these” you smile up at him, hands finding the buttons of his pants, his hands covering yours before you can unbutton them

“You’re so demanding.”

“Can you just let me enjoy this?”  you push his body away from you making a rotating motion with your hand, “Spin for me?”

“I’m not going to spin”

“Please? I’m a visual learner,” you whine

“you’re still clothed,” he points out 

“YOU’RE still clothed,," you counter, smiling

“Will you shut the fuck up?” He can’t help but laugh at the back and forth, “stand up.”

“Now who is being bossy?” You stand up so you’re face to face, “It’s really sexy. More of that please.” 

“Lift up your arms” It’s more of a directive than a suggestion. 

You raise your hands above your head so he can lift off your shirt. He runs his fingers up your arms, over your shoulders, along your neck, to your cheeks, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin. His left hand cradles your jaw, his right hand in your hair. He leans in, and at first, it’s just his lips on yours, moving slowly. He retreats for a moment before his lips closes around your bottom lip, before sinking his teeth gently into the flesh. It’s a good kind of pain, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to make an audible moan escape from your throat. He lets go, his lips brushing against yours again, gentle and lingering, until your mouth parts slightly beneath his kiss granting him access. He breathes out as you breathe in as his mouth claims yours. Your hands at his waist, pulling his hips against yours, feeling how hard he is. 

“Now, will you be a good girl and tell me what you actually want?” He smirks against your mouth, his voice low, as you nod against him. 

“Yeah, I still want you to take off your pants and spin for me”

He laughs, a genuine, deep in his chest laugh. It catches him off guard, like he was expecting you to just melt into a puddle after he kissed you. 

“You’re incredible.”

“I’m serious,” You press your lips to his jaw, trailing kisses down his neck as he unbuttons his pants and slides them down his hips, stepping out of them. A breathy groan leaves his lips, his hands moving to your hips, pushing you backwards until your back is against the window. You slip your hand inside his boxers, and slide your palm against his length, a barely audible “fuck” coming out of his mouth, his head falling against your shoulder. You wrap your fingers around his cock and draw him out with one long stroke.

“Get on your knees. I want to watch you.” 

You oblige, kneeling in front of him. You lick the palm of your hand before wrapping your fingers around his throbbing cock, stroking him twice before pressing your lips to the tip. His hand lifts the hair from your neck, holding it in a ponytail behind you to get a better view of you taking him fully into your mouth, twisting your tongue around his shaft like you’re tracing the line on an ice cream swirl. He gets harder every time you take him deep, his breath starting to catch. You look up at him, his eyes dark, focused on you taking as much of him as possible, leaning against the window to hold himself up with his free arm.

“Fuck,” he tightens the grip on your hair, hips thrusting forward to meet you halfway, and you hum against him. 

The look on his face as he watches himself disappear, is one of disbelief.  You trace your tongue along the underside of his cock once more before letting him slide out of your mouth.

You stand up, licking the length of his bottom lip before pressing your lips to his. He tries to wrap himself around your entire body, his mouth on any skin he can find—cheeks, shoulder, neck.  

You take a second to appreciate his flushed cheeks, dark brown eyes, chest heaving, and you reach out and trace a line from his forehead, down his nose, to his lips, and chin—something that would come to be understood as a safe gesture in the future.

“How about you fuck me in front of this window for everyone to see?”

You turn away from him, your palms flat against the window in front of you, and you feel his hands on your hips, pushing the material of your jeans and panties down. He bends down, his lips run along your spine, teeth biting the skin on your hip before standing back up, lips to your ear, sending a shiver up your spine, “If you only knew how many times I’ve came thinking about you in the last week.” 

He doesn’t waste any time, his hand sliding between your legs, two fingers making lazy circles around your clit before sliding them inside you, his cock pressing against your ass with every stroke of his fingers. The sound that leaves your mouth is a mix between a plea and a moan, as you rock back on your heels, feeling the warmth of his breath against your neck. He removes his hand, sucking both fingers into his mouth, before lining himself up, rubbing the head of his cock against your clit a few times before screwing himself inside. Bucking your hips back into his lap, you elicit a soft cry from his throat.. He buries himself to the hilt, and you sob out a breath, his hand running up your spine, grabbing your shoulder to gain leverage to thrust again. He kisses the back of your neck, where it meets your shoulders, and times it with a deep, hard stroke.

“Just like that” you nod, forehead pressed against the glass in front of you, “I’m so close.”

Touch yourself,” he groans, and you obey, fingers finding your swollen clit, “look at me. I want to watch you come”

Of course he’s into eye contact.

You turn your head to look at him, eyes meeting, a moan escaping from his mouth. It doesn’t take you long like this before you come, your walls squeezing him tightly, pleasure coursing through your body, his name on your lips.  He draws in and out twice, slowly, working himself right up to the very edge. Then, with one deep hard slam, he comes, eyes squeezed shut, mouth open, fingers digging into your hips, soft moans escaping his mouth as his body spasms behind you. He pumps three more times, still trying to ride out his own orgasm, slumping against you.

“You’re incredible,” he pants, shifting his weight back on his heels, pulling out, pressing lazy wet kisses down your neck, and shoulder. You turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing the corner of his mouth. His lips are salty from sweat, his heart pounding against his ribs, and he walks backwards with you still in his arms towards his bed, “let me get a towel.”

He lets go of you long enough to disappear into the bathroom and come back with a towel, instructing you to lay down, while he cleans you up, his mouth pressing kisses to your legs, hips, and stomach. He lays down beside you and you roll onto your stomach, looking at him.

“Well that was definitely more fun than scrabble” you chuckle, and he nods in agreement.

“You’re better than I could have even dreamed,” he whispers, shaking his head like he can’t believe he’s saying it, rubbing a hand over his face.

“That was just the intro” you counter, “a rusty, shake out the nerves, jump back in the saddle kind of fuck. It’s going to be even better next time.”

“Next time” he nods, like he’s just remembered that this isn’t a one-night stand, “What are the parameters?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Is it just sex? Or can we go out in public? Can we hang out?”

“Whatever you want, Michael” you remind him, “it’s supposed to be fun, remember?”

"Aren't you worried?" "I'm always worried about a lot of things. Be more specific." "About the consequences of this arrangement?” "It sounds like you’re worried.”

“I am. I’m worried that you’re going to ruin me.”

"You’re worried about catching feelings, as the kids would say?”

“You’re not?”

“Feelings are not the enemy.  From a psychological standpoint it is impossible not to feel. If I held a gun to your head and told you to stop being sad, could you do that?" "No." He admits "Then the same goes for any other feeling. If you want more, want more.  If you're jealous of Jack, that's okay too. And if this is something that makes you sad, we don't have to do this. I'm not going to pretend that I feel nothing. I feel everything. I've been dying to feel something other than this deep fucking sadness in my bones. So no, I’m not worried I’m going to catch feelings because I already have them. We deserve to feel something.”

He sits with the words;  allows himself a moment to decide if he’s brave enough to dive in. And then he turns to look at you.

“Can I show you around?” “Your house?”  He nods.

The gesture is endearing; soft, safe. He takes your hand, and he maps his apartment like you’re going to be spending time here; the kitchen, the bathrooms, the guest room full of vinyl records Almost as if he’s trying to say, See, this is where you’re going to sleep See, this is where I’ll make you coffee See, this is where you’ll feel at home.

[jifloulette]

➳ you've changed a lot ever since, i'm still stuck in the same palce we left.

itoshi sae runs into you and he sees what changed with you ever since he left .

heads up . . ! implied breakup, angst with a hopeful ending

the first time sae sees you again was in the convenience store by the school he used to go to.

he vaguely remembers you waiting for him by the gate, greeting him with a beaming smile and a wave. he chuckles a bit remembering that. he also vaguely remembers how you would show him your favorite snacks and drinks to get at that same store, telling him that if you ever get mad at him, he should buy these for you and he'll have your heart. he tries to remember more memories the two of you created but it's no use, the thought of you at the back of his mind is all a blur. was it you he was with at the beach? was it you he was with as he went to buy ice cream? was it you that screamed his name so loud at his games? was it you who he kissed under the fireworks? maybe if he hadn't tried to push you away then you would see how much he appreciates you, how much he loves you. but at the same time, he impulsively erased any memory of you in his brain. it's like you were some specks of dust in the corner of his room that no matter how much he cleaned it, it'll still come back. it's funny, no? seeing you with different people whom he didn't recognize, looking at them with that same smile of yours, arms interlocked with each other, happily chatting about who knows what.

the strange thing he noticed is that the snacks you bought and ate were different than what you used to buy with him. he was confused, what do you mean you don't buy the packaged mochis anymore? the hi-chews? the lychee ramunes? to be fair, he did leave you behind as well for 4 years. who knows what happened and what changed in you within those 1,461 days? it was a long time to wait for someone who broke your heart, you were bound to get tired of waiting. it's not like he ever tried to reply to your messages and calls daily, most of them left delivered and in voicemail. another thing he noticed was your hair. you had let it grow unlike when you were with him. you used to cut it whenever you noticed it getting longer, saying that you didn't like having long hair because it was a hassle to take care of. oh and, your hair was a different color too, from h/c to a lighter color, it fit you that's for sure. oh, the things he'd do just so he could run his fingers through your hair just like he did back then.

it's like he was stuck in time, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. he stayed there, looking at you. seeing how you were slowly losing your teenage features. you were way taller, hell, you might've been a few inches taller than him. the next thing he knew was that his legs were on autopilot. they walked towards the convenience store. you were going to see him sooner or later, but fuck, he wasn't prepared. he doesn't even know what he's going to say once you see him. were you even going to notice him at all? were you going to ignore him the same way he did to you? "sae? is that you?", it was only when you talked that sae realized he had gone inside the store. you waved to the boy as you walked closer to him. he noticed your voice was deeper, it was still beautiful to hear though. even after all these years, he still loved hearing your honey-like voice. "it's been a minute, huh? how have you been? i thought you were in Spain?" you ask, "oh.. uh, i'm doing well. i just came back here to renew my passport for a good 3 days. got hungry so i went here." he replies, "so, you won't be here for long, huh." you added. "i missed you." you suddenly say, catching him off guard. "i.. did too." sae returns, hearing your friends call for you, you quickly say goodbye to him. "wait a bit, guys! uh, i guess this is goodbye, itoshi sae?" you tell him, "goodbye, y/n. i'm sorry i couldn't love you the same way you loved me." sae states, the last part he whispered. time was cruel for letting the two of you talk for only a minute or two, he'd do anything he could just to let you stay for a few more minutes.

with that, you had left with your friends. god, if only he stopped you. if only he said that he could ask his assistant to give him a week or so to stay in japan, maybe then the spark that was once firing with love and passion between the two of you would be relit. it was his fault for leaving you with the mess of heartbreak anyways, he was cruel for doing that to you, he knows that. sae thought that he had moved on, but it was just a façade he created to hide the guilt of leaving what the two of you could've been behind. he had left but he had never moved on, you had stayed yet you were the one to move on first. so, a question lingers in his mind as he gives the lady his ticket, which of the two of you really left the other?

the second time sae sees you again was at the airport.

all of a sudden, he heard a voice shouting his name. a voice he knew all too well. it was your voice, calling for him. he stopped dead in his tracks and looked back, seeing you wave at him with that same light in your eyes. he quickly runs to you, his assistant saying that the flight will leave soon but he could care less. "w-what are you doing here, y/n?" sae asks you, "well.. you did say you were going to stay for only 3 days, i also asked your mom about when you were going to leave so here i am!" you answer, smiling at him. he quickly dropped his bags and hugged you, oh so tightly. he didn't care if people were around, you were here with him after all. he thanks whatever god is out there for giving him another chance to hold you like this again. maybe, just maybe, he can relight the dying flame between the two of you.

©🇯​​🇮​​🇫​​🇱​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇪​, do not steal, translate, or repost any of my writings anywhere else.

[illnessfaker]

tw: black+trans death

from the_yvesdropper on instagram:

our beautiful black trans brother, 35 year old Righteous Torrence "Chevy" Hill, was murdered in Atlanta, GA this weekend.

he went by his nickname 'Chevy' he was originally from Macon, GA. he owned Evollusion, which is a black/ queer owned LGBTQ+ salon in Atlanta that provided and dedicated full service to specializing in hair, nails, barbering and makeup. growing up as young black queer boys/kids, the barbershop experience can sometimes be a tricky space to occupy, this was something that Chevy understood and wanted to cultivate a space of safety where you can also get the affirming look and style you want, and he did exactly that.

Chevy was a beloved son, brother, partner, and father.

one of his last posts that had a photo of himself said :

"if you truly know me, you know i am a humble, modest, private man, that i love my community, i have the love of God in me and will give the shirt off my back to any soul in need, also i never post pictures of myself, legaey give myself credit, that stops today, i am my legacy!"

(a close friend of Chevy asked if i could share more then one photo of Chevy, since he never posted photos of himself and in recent years he got the confidence to want to share more photos and now he won't get the chance to)

Chevy, hey king, hey brother, hey angel, thank you for everything, i lové you, we lové you, i'm so sorry. there are a lot of photographers in heaven who will be able to photograph you as the glorious black trans angel that you are.

there will be a homegoing service/memorial for our brother

there aren't many details about what happened but apparently he was shot by a family member last wednesday, the 28th (at least this article was the one linked in relation to his murder.)

judging by both the IG post and the comments section he was well-loved by many people and those people have many good memories with him and nothing but good things to say. this is a comment that was left by tirajmeansgolden which was hidden by IG for some reason:

I started testosterone in February 2020. I hit this man up at the end of 2019 after numerous Google searches for an LGBT-friendly barber near me (and by near me... he was a good 35-40 minutes from the rural area I was in outside of Atlanta: but when I found out he was a trans man and that his business was the first and only LGBT hair bar, I knew it would be worth the trip). I was a dysphoric mess in his DMs one Sunday. I hated how my hair was growing out. I never had a "masculine" hairstyle before but decided one day I would buzz it all off myself, then allowed it to grow out a bit... I sent him a video and despite him being closed on Sunday, he told me to come through. I got my hair braided and he gave me my first really masculine fade. Explained the different terms. Lined me up. Was asking me about my decision to transition and provided some helpful advice + guidance. I told him how I was a therapist and he was hype and said he talked with a group of trans men and he would love for me to stop by and also give some mental health tips. So whoever said he was humble - wow, what an understatement. Such a community man! Made me feel SO comfortable because barbershops were a source of major trauma and triggers for me. They were such an integral part of my early transition (I just celebrated 4 years later week). And he was such an integral part of the Atlanta Queer community with hosting events like Queer Con. How I found so many other great resources + queer businesses/artists. May you rest in peace, Chevy. You'll be missed. You've made such a different in the lives of countless people. You definitely were living your Purpose + left a legacy behind ...

[lucy-literates]

Hello! Hope you're doing great :D

So like I'm absolutely enjoying Lewis arriving to the paddock on his motorcycle (I'm a huge fan of motorcycles i ride one myself) its just an absolute delight to watch even if its a little thing🥰

May i pls get one where reader sees lewis on his bike and just gets so excited and asks him to take her for a ride then she would ask to take it for a spin herself🤭

Thanks, have a great day☺️

A/N: That’s so cool, I’ve always wanted to ride a motorbike but I’m a bit scared 😅 Guess you could say I’m in the same boat as the reader! Anyway, hope you enjoy it, my requests are open! And, exams are doneeee so I’ve got all the time now.

Can I ride?

Working as Ferraris photographer was the best use of your photography degree that you could think of. It was your job to take pictures of Charles and Lewis, and you love it. Especially since Lewis started showing up on his motorbike.

It gave you the perfect opportunity to take some amazing shots. You waited for him in the parking lot everytime he arrived.

You always welcomed him with a warm smile and a nod. He appreciated it every time.

Little did he know, you were dying to ride his bike. Your dad had one when you were a little girl, and you missed the roar of the engine as the world sped by.

After Lewis goes inside, you always circled around to check out his bike again and he never knew, until today.

He had left his phone in his bike and ducked back outside to grab it. That’s when he found you sitting on the floor, staring at his bike.

“Y/n?”

You snapped out of your daydream to find Lewis standing in front of you, your heart immediately sped up.

“Yes?”

“Why are you staring at my bike?”

“Oh, um, right” you mumble as you stand up “Sorry”

He chucked “it’s all good. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, fine. Just… reminiscing”

“About?” Lewis looked at you curiously

“My dad’s old bike.” You told him. The recounted the memories like they happened only yesterday.

Lewis nodded, grinned, and reached for his bike. He pulled out two helmets and offered one to you, “want to ride?”

“Really?” you asked, and Lewis nodded

“Yes!” You told him excitedly.

He helped you tighten the helmet strap once it was on your head, and helped you on the bike.

Your hands held onto his shoulders, until he took your hands and wrapped them around his waist as he said “hold tight”.

He took you for a couple laps around the block, then brought you back. As he hopped off you asked

“Would it be ok if I took it for a ride?” You didn’t have high hopes, almost knowing he was gonna say no when he shifted you forward on the bike and hopped on behind you.

He gave you a quick crash course on how to use it, and let you give it a go.

You also did a couple laps around the block before pulling back into the parking lot.

“You’re a natural!” Lewis complemented.

“I’ve got a good teacher” you recorded back with a smile.

Tag list:

@alexxavicry

@k-160922-blog

@alyislost

@supersanelyromantic

@astrlape

[jakeyzzz]

I love you, I‘m sorry

( angst / fluff ) jake x f!reader oneshot

masterlist!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - { crying, mentions of throwing up, swearing, kissing }

let me know if i missed anything !

english is NOT my first language

⋆⭒˚.⋆♫⋆｡𝄞₊⋆⭒˚♬.⋆

𝓌𝒸 : 2.6k words

On a random saturday night you and your friends spontaneously decided to go out. It was a few weeks after your birthday, and a night out sounded like an amazing idea to you.

Your birthday was a disaster. Well, at least it was a disaster to you. Everyone else was having a pretty good time. You on the other hand had been feeling depressed for the last few months. So while everyone else was laughing, you tried holding back your tears the whole time.

No one knew you were going through a breakup until a few days ago. But after everyone knew about it, you regretted not telling them earlier. They made you feel so much better in such a short period of time. You even started talking to some new guys. You weren't planning on starting a serious relationship with them, but they helped you get your mind off things. They helped you cope with the pain. Even though you knew it was only temporary.

Surprisingly you ended up getting really close with one of them. His name was Theo. You felt really comfortable around him, since you already knew he wasn't looking for anything serious either. So you had more of a ''friends with benefits'' kind of thing going on with him. He quickly became a part of your friend group, and also joined you guys on your night out at a music bar.

It was a pretty popular music bar, since they had a band line up every friday and saturday. They weren't the most popular bands, but regardless they never failed to amaze you.

So you ordered some drinks, sat down on one of the huge couches, talked about some of your favorite memories and without even noticing, you found yourself snuggling up to Theo. You placed your head on his shoulder, while listening to your friend's stories with a smile tugging on your lips.

'' Y/N ! Remember when we were in milan and we suddenly had the idea to play hide and seek in the hotel ? I remember us getting in so much trouble because Jake accidentally broke a really expensive vase''

'' Yeah I remember that...'' You said, faking a smile.

Theo turned his head to look at you with a smirk on his lips.

'' ... Who's Jake ? ''

Your friend instantly regretted mentioning Jake. Everyone looked at you with pity in their eyes and they could tell how hard you tried not to cry.

'' He's no one '' You said, your eyes suddenly turning cold at the thought of him.

'' Were you guys close ?''

'' Theo stop. She obviously doesn't want to talk about him'' One of your friends chimed in.

'' I'm gonna use the restroom. I'll be right back '' You got up, before quickly disappearing in the small crowd of people.

You locked yourself up in one of the restroom stalls, and took a deep breath in. You gently wiped away the tear rolling down your cheek, trying not to ruin your makeup. Why did everything have to be so complicated ? Why couldn't you just forget about your relationship with Jake and finally move on ? Why did your friend even have to bring him up ?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone tuning their bass guitar on stage. You got out of the restroom stall, and stared at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes. Your heart was about to jump out of your chest. You knew there were millions of bass players out there. But you immediately recognized the person on stage by the way he was playing.

You recognized him because you used to watch him play every single day.

''This can't be real'' You whispered to yourself, waiting for the sound of the bass to finally stop.

And when it did, you immediately left the restroom.

You didn't want to see him. You weren't ready to. Just the thought of having to look him in the eye after your relationship ended in a screaming fight made you want to throw up. You wanted to get back to your friends as quick as possible.

But you weren't quick enough. Before you could walk any further, you felt someone's hand grabbing your wrist. You turned around in shock, your eyes immediately meeting his.

'' Can i talk to you ? '' Jake asked, his eyes burning holes into your skin.

'' No '' You coldly answered, freeing yourself from his hold before quickly running back to your friends.

Jake wasn't having it. He ran after you, not accepting the fact you didn't want to talk to him. But when he saw you sit down next to Theo, his heart dropped. He watched you cuddle up to him, before watching him whisper something into your ear.

'' I'm sorry for earlier. You okay ? '' Theo whispered. You nodded your head with another forced smile on your face, before intentionally kissing Theo's cheek.

You knew Jake was watching. You wanted to piss him off.

And it worked.

Jake was fuming. No words could ever describe how much he hated seeing you with someone else. But he knew he had to deal with it. It was his fault you weren't with him anymore.

He watched you with a clenched jaw, fighting back tears. But before any tears could fall, he heard one of his band members call his name from the back. Their show was about to start, and he had no idea how he was supposed to focus knowing you were watching him.

Meanwhile Theo looked at you with a surprised look on his face. He didn't expect you to kiss his cheek out of the blue. Especially not in front of your friends. But he decided to just shrug it off and not make a big deal out of it.

You couldn't help but watch Jake and his band members get on stage. You could feel your friend's intense stares, as they watched you closely. They didn't quite understand why you didn't look surprised when your ex boyfriend appeared on stage. Your eyes looked empty. And even when the lights went out, and the band finally started playing, you had no reaction. Your friends kept whispering into each others ears talking about how Jake only had eyes for you the entire time he was on stage.

He even messed up a few songs. He was clearly unfocused.

'' Before we play our last song, I'd like to ask our bassist if he wants to help me sing this one'' Heeseung, the vocalist spoke up, making everyone impatiently wait for Jake's answer.

You knew how nervous Jake was about singing in front of people.

You were an exception.

He used to sing a lot when you were around, which made you really happy because you loved hearing him sing. In your opinion he had the most comforting voice a person could ever have. Even if he was just talking.

'' Uhh ... sure '' Jake eventually answered, making the crowd cheer in excitement.

After Jake sat down next to Heeseung, you could hear him take a deep breath through the microphone. And as soon as he started to sing, the whole room went quiet.

Your friends were right. His eyes were on you the entire time. He didn't look away from you for even one second.

'' I still press your letters to my lips

and cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss

I couldn't face a life without your light

But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight ''

He sang, looking directly into your eyes.

You couldn't stop the tears falling from your eyes. And Theo only needed a few more seconds to understand what was going on.

You still loved Jake. Even after all the ugly words he had said to you. You didn't want to admit it, but it was true.

You chewed on your bottom lip, listening to your ex boyfriend pour his heart out on stage. And when you finally had the courage to hold eye contact with him, you noticed a few tears leaving his eyes as well.

When the song ended, you felt everyone's eyes on you. You quickly wiped away your tears, shifting in your seat uncomfortably.

'' Are you okay ? '' One of your friends silently mouthed, looking at you with pity in her eyes.

'' I'm fine '' You answered, nodding your head lightly.

The crowd was cheering, asking for another song when the band left the stage.

But to everyone's surprise they didn't come back.

They didn't come back because Jake immediately broke down after leaving the stage.

'' Im such a fucking idiot '' He cried, his hands covering his face.

Heeseung quickly sat down next to him, embracing him in a hug.

'' Stop saying that ''

'' No. You don't understand. I fucked up ''

'' Look, I don't know what exactly happened between you two, but I'm sure she still loves you. I could see it in her eyes. And if she really does loves you, she's gonna forgive you for whatever you've done'' Heeseung said, trying to comfort Jake.

'' I don't even want her to fucking forgive me. What if I hurt her again? She deserved so much better, Heeseung ''

'' You love her. You're not gonna hurt her again. ''

It started getting really late, and people started leaving. Even some of your friends started saying their goodbyes and eventually went back home.

'' So... are we gonna stop seeing each other ? '' Theo spoke up, leaving you surprised.

'' What ? ''

Theo chuckled.

'' By the way you looked at him I can tell you're in love. ''

Your words got stuck in your throat when you felt your eyes tear up once again.

'' You don't have to say anything. I understand. I just want you to know I wish you all the best and I want you to be happy. You deserve it. '' Theo said, pulling you into a hug. He smiled at you softly before walking out of the bar, leaving you completely alone.

Now that you were on your own, you decided to order one last drink before leaving. You enjoyed the calming atmosphere of the bar as you listened to the quiet music in the backround. You couldn't help but wonder how Jake was feeling. If you were being completely honest, you wished you could talk to him. You wished you would bump into him again before leaving. But there was no sign of him. He was probably gone, you thought.

But when you finished your drink and eventually got ready to leave, you were stopped by someone's voice calling your name. When you turned around, you saw Jake running towards you. His eyes looked all puffy, and his lips were swollen. You could tell he cried a lot. He stopped right in front of you, too scared to look you in the eye at first. He even hesitated to talk for a second. He didn't want to say anything he might regret later. He couldn't mess this up again.

'' You know I didn't mean any of the things i said to you, right ? ''

You looked down, pressing your lips together to stop yourself from crying again.

'' No. The moment you started raising your voice at me, I suddenly didn't recognize you anymore. I was scared of you. '' You explained.

Jake didn't have the strength to hold back his tears anymore. Instead, he broke down for a second time that night. Hearing you say you were scared of him made his heart drop.

As your boyfriend, he was supposed to make you feel safe. He was supposed to make you happy.

He choked on his tears, his hands covering his face again. You gently wiped your tears, before hesitantly pulling Jake into a hug. He immediately hugged you back, sobbing into your neck.

'' I'm so sorry '' He apologized between his sobs.

You closed your eyes, taking in his comforting scent before gently caressing his back.

You didn't say anything for a while. You only listened to him apologize over and over again without giving him an answer. And if you were being honest, you didn't even really want to answer. You only wanted to forget about everything that happened and hold him in your arms like this forever. He let out a shaky breath against your neck before lifting his head to look at you. You carefully wiped away his tears, before quickly pecking his trembling lips.

'' I'm sorry '' He said, resting his forehead against yours.

'' I know ''

'' I promise I'm gonna try to be a better person ''

You slowly cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Jake tried pulling you even closer, which was nearly impossible. He missed the feeling of your lips against his more than anything else, which lead him to take his sweet time kissing you. His hands found your waist as he kissed you deeply, not giving a shit about what other people might think seeing you like this. He only cared about showing you how much he loved you and somehow getting you back.

'' Can you give me another chance ? '' He whispered against your lips.

'' I can '' You answered, feeling another tear run down your cheek.

Unexpectedly, you suddenly heard Jake's band members cheer from behind you.

'' Thank fucking god !!! '' You heard them say, making you giggle.

'' Did y'all watch us the whole time ? '' Jake shouted, making his band members burst out laughing.

'' Looks like we did '' Heeseung answered, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

Jake groaned in annoyance, making you laugh quietly

'' So you think this is funny, huh ? '' He asked, looking at you with a cheeky smile on his lips.

'' I do ''

Jake smiled, gently kissing the tip of your nose before taking your hand.

'' Should we go home ? ''

'' Home as in … back to our home ? ''

'' Yes '' Jake whispered happily.

'' Sure '' You said, your lips curling into a soft smile.

After Jake put his bass guitar into the back of his car, you finally made your way back home. Your hands were intertwined as he was driving, and he didn't miss the chance to place a kiss on the back of your hand every now and then.

Even when you finally arrived at your shared apartment, you didn't let go of each other's hand. Jake quietly opened the door, and lead you inside before closing the door behind him. You looked at the mess around you, remembering the fight between You and Jake. You sighed deeply when you felt Jake hugging you from behind.

'' Let's go to sleep and clean up tomorrow, mh ? '' He whispered before placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

'' Let's never fight again '' He added.

You turned around in his hold, smiling at him.

'' What ? ''

'' I love you. '' You said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

'' I love you too. I love you so much '' He said, kissing you before leading you to your shared bedroom.

You got ready for bed together, stealing a few more kisses from each other before finally getting into bed. Jake pulled you into his arms, feeling happier than ever. You stared at him quietly, before pulling him into another deep kiss. You just couldn't get enough of him that day. You were so happy to be back in his arms. You were finally at peace. Jake gently caressed your skin under your oversized shirt while pouring all of his love into the kiss. And when you both got tired, you held each other as close as possible.

Jake was the first one to fall asleep.

You gently traced his facial futures with your fingers, quietly watching him sleep.

'' I love you '' Jake mumbled in his sleep.

You giggled lightly before kissing his lips one last time.

'' I love you too. ''

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist - { @leiclerc , @itulipy …}

[omgfangirlland]

I'd love for a part 2! It'd be really funny if she did get taken in by Slade or by Ra.. But I kinda want her to be taken in by the Winchesters 😈😈😈 (my brain is itching to write another idea but I'm also having a mental block.. Dang it.. So many possibilities.. So many ideaaaas....i wannnnnna write and writeeeeeee but I feel like my head is gonna explode)

-🔱

Here's a kinda part 2/kinda thoughts to add 🙃

I think the Reader knows some things from the goons and the other clients of The Lounge- like one taught her how to throw knives, maybe another gave her the basics for shooting a gun, and another gave her inside tips on stocks.

Either way, along the way, her speech does get better, she still stutters and is still selectively mute, but she grows and learn a lot, one particular man seemingly taking him under his wing while all she needs to do is listen to his madness.

Reader is still a skeptic and swears John Winchester is a madman, but you also know he tips nicely and buys you nice things, from silly drawing books to necessities like jackets and groceries, so you let him talk. Unknowingly, you're actually helping him a lot.

You don't notice it, you have learned to brush it off, actually, but John is always alone. When you first asked him what he'd like and then turned to his left, asking his "friend"(maybe a hunter who died on the job due to John) the same question, he immediately knew. And not like the ghosts would tell you they're dead- they like to be treated s if they're still alive.

Now, years later, when three men walk in, stiff and eyes jumping from one side to the other, you know they're asking for trouble, but you have a job to do. So, you put on a fake smile and ask what they'd like while kindly asking the shining meta to close his wings and, if possible, to dim his light.

Dean and Sam look at Castiel, normal, human-looking Castiel who simply apologizes and seemingly does as told, as you stop squinting. They both throw a glance at each other before turning to you, introducing themselves, and asking about the strange missing people turning up drained of blood, not giving anything away as Dean jokingly calls them paranormal fanatics like old Pops Winchester.

Your smile immediately drops. As you ask why they want to know, and if they know a John Winchester, the brothers have a moment of dread as the possibility of this being another Adam moment crosses their minds.

"He's dead. I'm sorry." Castiel says plainly, deadpan, making Dean and Sam cringe. And you snort, calling him a fucking liar because you just rented the man a room. And when John appears behind you out of no where, is the moment everything went to shit.

Finding out you weren't insane and unnecessarily dipping yourself with pills wasn't something that was on your bingo sheet- alas, the memories of Thomas and Martha were long forgotten, and with the newfound reality came fears bigger than just being homeless. So you stuck with the team, left your... It wasn't home. Housing seemed more fitting.

The impala and the men have become your house along the way, through every bullshit, every almost jail time, every starving con artist moment. And if you and Dean became something more along the way, it felt right.

As it is, despite it all, you still found your way back to Gotham due to another John. You four had met Constantine on a few jobs, mostly demon hunts. The boys hated him, you found him sad, like a wet puppy, and yet he opened so much for you, after all, he's the reason you learned magic. So when he sent a signal for help, you begged your lover and his brother to go help.

The moment you met, the first thing he said is "Don't be mad," and by the time you blinked, you were in the middle of the manor, eyes locked on a pale, shaking Bruce and two happy, teary-eyed Martha and Thomas.

I don't know how to carry it on, so have these headcannon style stuff:

Dean goes out of his way to be even more clingy just to piss off Bruce. He addresses(even if he can't see them) Martha and Thomas as Mama and Papa, and just calls Bruce that or Wayne.

Bruce is beyond angry at the simple idea of Dean, let alone at actually seeing the man interact with you.

Sam is ready to brawl, Dean didn't let him beat John up, but he'll let his dear Sammy throw hands with this deadbeat.

John C. is drinking behind the couch. John W. is sweating in Heaven(CAN'T BELIVE HE MADE IT THERE BTW) as he watches the shitshow.

I have a thought that your mom actually called from the asylum and screamed at Bruce about where her baby is, why is she on the news being called a criminal, and Bruce just brushed it off as another mental break, crying himself to sleep that night.

Discourse insues, yelling, almost throwing shit. Just to scare Bruce even more, Reader fakes a vision where everyone he loves dies, telling him he'll try and fail like he's failed with her, before "passing out".

Cue John C. terrified because 1. he didn't know she could do that 2. he doesn't know she's lying her ass off

Sam and Dean buy you your fav meal and extra dessert after carrying you out to baby and driving off.

Bruce, of course, doesn't let go.

All the kids locked themselves in a room with Damian to keep him from breaking out because he's mad that nobody told him he wasn't the firstborn and that his big sister's mom was actually married to Bruce.

Tag list: @simpingpandas

I feel like @venomsvl and @beyondblissxoxo would also appreciate the tag, but I'll take it down if you two want that.

[blueberrykizz]

Let me be Selfish (chapter 2)

Bob Reynold x fem! Reader

Part 1

Summary: After years of being apart and moving to Manhattan, New York City from Sarasota Springs, Florida and in a new relationship, you see a familiar face on the news.

Notes: Since we don't really know how old Bob is supposed to be l'm gonna say in this story he's like 28 and reader is like 26-27 just she's only a little bit younger then him but she's out of college and a teacher for second grade.

Warnings: cheating sort of? (Not on Bob), Arguing (not with bob), toxic relationship (again not with Bob), swearing, brings up teen pregnancy (in a small part of a conversation), Bob talks about his drug use,

!THIS IS NOT PROOF READ! So I'm sorry if it's shit

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I gently pulled away as I looked down and sighed “Bob, I-I should go.” I said as I grabbed my coffee before I felt Bobs hand grab my wrist. As he looked up at me with pleading eyes.

“(Reader) please….j-just stay for a moment.” Bobs eyes were looking up at me as I looked at him for a moment before nodding my head.

I sat back down a little further from Bob as he let go of my wrist before he sighed and rubbed his eyes, as he looked ashamed, “I was stupid, okay? I didn’t want to leave you but, (reader) y-you knew what you wanted in life. Graduate high school, go for college for early children’s education…get married, have a family.” I looked up at Bob as he sounded like he was going to cry

“Bob…we were teenagers, the whole marriage and family thing was way down in the future for me back then.” I sigh as Bob nods his head

“Ya but you talked about it, and it scared the shit out of me, I dropped out of high school and I was smoking, and you were….God you were on the road to success, and I remember your parents getting on me about how I was holding you back, and if I made us teen parents, they’d kill me.” He laughed softly as I looked up at him

I laugh a little in response as Bob continues “I was sacred that because of me…you would never get out of Sarasota springs, like you wanted. And I was starting to get addicted to drugs and meth. I remember at your graduation I was out of it, I regret that so much now.” Bob nearly cried as I looked down

I tap my cup as I sighed “Ya…because we got in an argument, I was so pissed off.” I sigh as Bob nods his head, “That was when you told me it was either weed or you. That was before you found out I was also doing meth and all that” Bob said ashamed

I felt my eyes water “And y-you picked drugs…I remember because it was after the graduation at the graduation party and I couldn’t find you anywhere until I went to the front to see you buying from someone still high.” I sniffed as Bob looked up at me,

“If I could take it all back I would, I hated myself…still do because of that moment. I hated myself so much, after it happened I went home packed a bag a left” Bob eyes were watery as I looked down.

“I went to your house the next day…snuck in through your window. Your mom was home and she had just called my parents to see if you were at my place, she was worried and was asking all the neighbors where you were. I thought maybe you were just ignoring her and was in your room like you always did, but when I got there….and didn’t see you I cried, saw you left you room in a mess like you were in a hurry, the pictures you had of us on your wall on the ground and the pictures frame of me and you from the beach broken on the floor.” I felt a tear run down my face

“I remember laying in your bed because I missed you, took one of your shirts because it smelled like you…then I put all those pictures back into your memory box, i kept the picture that was in the frame. I still have the picture and your shirt.” I laugh softly as I wipe my face as Bob looked at me with wide eyes.

We sat there in silence Bob looked at me as I looked around the park seeing family’s playing, friends laughing, couples chatting. I didn’t say anything as a tear feel down my face and before I could wipe it away I felt another hand wipe it.

I looked back at Bob as he smiled gently at me, “I’m sorry for how I was when I was younger, I was stupid and dumb. I would understand if you actually hated me.” He spoke softly and embarrassed

I shake my head before gently scooting closer to him before resting my head on his shoulder, “I could never hate you Bob…I loved you to much to ever hate you even years later.” I sighed

I felt Bob become tense before I took his hand making small circles with my thumb just like I did when we were younger, Bob soon relaxed before thinking he kissed my head, “I still really want to be selfish.” He said quietly as if a whisper to himself

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We sat like that for hours, people watching in that park together spoke softly to each other about random things, it was nice and gentle. I wish it lasted longer.

Bob had gotten a call and told me he had to head back as I nodded my head telling I should probably head back home as well to finish up grading homework from my students.

When leaving the park Bob was going one way and I was going the other way, we looked at each other not saying much as Bob held my hand still he looked at me with softness as I stared up at him, almost as if we didn’t have to talk to understand each other.

A moment passed before I finally took breath “I-I should get going.” I said softly as bob nods still hesitant to let me go, as if he was scared that if he let go he’ll lose me. But soon he finally let go tucked his hand in his pocket and said his goodbye when he was about to turn away I acted without thinking and kissed his cheek before pulling away seeing the lipgloss it left behind

“Get home safe Bob, text me.” I looked up at him with a smile before turning around and heading home, I looked back for a moment expecting Bob to be gone but he was still standing in that spot looking at me.

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On my walk home I had much to think about, how I felt about Bob, what I should do about Nick. It was a lot.

When I finally got to my apartment and closed the door I walked into the kitchen to get some water where I found Nick making pasta, “Hey hon, thought I make dinner tonight.” Nick said happily before going to kiss my cheek.

I hum in response as I drinked my water before telling him I was going to grade.

Nick didn’t say anything for a moment, before I turning to me, “I don’t like you working at home, in fact I don’t understand why you work? (Reader) I make more than enough for the both of us.” Nick said as I rolled my eyes as Nick went on and on like he always did when I worked at home.

I finally cut him off “Well we’re not married, nor live together so…gotta pay my rent somehow Nick.” I said slightly annoyed as I sat down and began grading as Nick let out a sigh “Well we could get married.”

I froze for a moment “What?” I said as Nick chucked softly “I’m just saying it would make perfect sense, and you won’t have to work anymore, rely on me. Of course when we get married…you’ll have to stop being friends with certain people I don’t like…they’re just bad examples and people I already don’t like you being around.”

Nick spoke so casually about wanting to basically control my life like he wasn’t already. Nick came over with the food and he gave me my plate before sitting across from me.

“Nick I enjoyed my job, and I enjoy being with my friends.” I say softly not in the mood to argue with Nick. As he sighs “You don’t know what you’ll enjoy or like in a couple of years, and I just want what’s best for you, that’s all I want for you. I mean why take care of other people’s kids when we could have our own one day for you to take care of.” Nick said as he took a bit of his food

An image instantly came to mind of me having nicks kids and I instantly felt sick and lost my appetite,

“Well what if I don’t want that?” I looked up at Nick as he rolled his eyes “Well then (reader) you’re just being selfish.” I could tell Nick was getting a little bit annoyed with me since I didn’t immediately obliged

I sigh “Then I’m selfish, because I don’t see myself ever wanting that life…with you.” I mumble the last part

Nick bit the inside of his cheek as he shook his head “You’re being ridiculous, (reader) I just want what’s best for us, and I don’t really appreciate this conversation after I let you go out with a friend almost all day.” Nick was irritated as I looked at him in shock,

“Let me? Nick I’m a grown woman. I can do whatever I damn please and be around whoever I want.” I raised my voice was irritated as I looked up at Nick.

He was about to say something before my phone buzzed, and before I could reach it Nick instantly picked it up to read the text.

New message

Bobby: “I just got back home, wanted to tell you I thought about you and our conversation on my way back, I miss being around you. Anyways hope you take my advice have a good night sweet dreams.”

Nick read the text out loud before slamming my phone down “What the fuck!” Nick raised his voice “You told me you were going out with some friends, and instead you went out with…who the hell is this guy?!” Nick clenched his hand around my phone as I sighed

“He’s an old friend, and I didn’t tell you it was a guy because this is how you’ll react.” I dropped my fork looking at Nick

He shook his head “Damn right, and what was this conversation and advice, huh?! The guy probably wants to get your pants, with the whole ‘I miss being around you’ and ‘sweet dreams’ bullshit.”

I sighed “I don’t want to argue okay? Can we just leave it?” I spoke softly hoping that it would calm Nick down

But instead he got up threw my phone back at me got his coat and keys “I need to get a drink, after finding out my girlfriend is just a liar and a whore!” Nick yelled at me before leaving and slamming the door

I sat there in silence not knowing what to do tears ran down my face, my phone buzzed again it was from Bob, it was a yellow heart emoji, I laughed to myself a little.

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Two days went by and Nick never came back, I didn’t expect him to. I already had a plan in my head if he ever did, I would break up with him.

I had packed his stuff already in a couple of boxes, just a few clothes he left and his bathroom supplies, along with some decor he insisted I put up even though it didn’t match at all.

I was currently at my school in my classroom, my students were at lunch, I was planning my next weeks lesson when I heard a knock on the classroom door, expecting one of mu students I didn’t fully looked up “What do you need sweetie.” I said before looking up to see Bob.

“Bob! Oh, sorry I thought you were one of the students.” I instantly stood up and fixed my skirt that went to my feet. As he smiled down at me, “Hey…I was in the area…I remember you told me the school you worked at, thought I’d come by say hi and you texted me earlier saying you had forgotten your lunch so….I bring gifts.” Bob lifted the togo bag with a shy smile

I invited Bob in as I got one of the kids seats for him to sit with me and my desk as he brought out the subs I caught a glimpse of the receipt ‘Delmar’s’ I looked up at Bob “You didn’t. Bob you went to Queens just for the subs.” I laughed gently as Bob shrugged as his cheeks went pink

“I thought I hid it well with a different bag, but you told this was the best deli place ever….thought I would bring you something you actually enjoy.” Bob smiled as I looked up at him

He handed me the sub as I laughed softly to myself “You got my order right.” I said as I unwrapped the food as Bob looked at me

“I just got it like you use to back in high school. The guy gave me a hard time started going of on me in Spanish some guy had to help translate what he said to me guess the owner knew him, his name was Peter or something, but I explained that the order was for you and the man instantly stoped and made the order.” Bob shrugged as I laughed

“Mr. Delmar, good man I helped him raise money for a new shop after his last one caught on fire, he has a cute cat too.” I smiled before taking a bit of my sub as it instantly hit the spot

Bob chuckled softly at my reaction before he took a bite of his own and looked at me with wide eyes “This is amazing.” I nod my head as we ate in silence before I went to my desk drawer and got a small bag of chips as we ate.

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Bob stayed for a while as he looked around my classroom and saw all the pictures the kids drew nearly half of them was the new Avenger’s most didn’t have Bob only a couple and that was because the kids would copy the pictures from the news.

Bob listened to me talk about my students and how much I had to use his friends as a way to connect with my students to have them listen. I told him about my lessons plans and everything I would think he would find boring but instead he gave me his full attention and helped me come up with new ideas for crafts to make with the kids.

We talked for what felt like eternity as he told me all about the Avengers and how Bucky was in someway the mom of the group and always had to make sure Walker was behaving himself, and how at dinner Yelena would have her guinea pig eat at the table with them so if it ever got silent you would just hear her guinea pig munching on it food.

We laughed over so many things is was nice and comfortable. But when the silence hit, me and Bob just looked at each other enjoying each other company in silence.

We didn’t talk as Bob ate some chips as I finished some emails. Bob didn’t interrupt he sat patiently waiting for me to finish, he went on his phone for a moment before laying it on the desk and continued to look around my classroom and got a close look at the kids drawing some being about the kids family’s, their friends, the avengers, and me. He smiled at the drawings as he looked over them,

I sent the email before I got up to stand next Bob as he looked around, we stood in silence before he spoke up, “You’re students seem to love you.” I smile at his words as I looked up at him, “ya some of kids parents actually appreciate how much I do for the students.” I smile as Bob nods his head before looking down at me

He was about to say something when the bell rang indicating lunch was over, I sighed before grabbing my eyes to the classroom “Well I have to go get my student…I’m happy you came over Bob.” I say as Bob nods his head before going to wrap up his leftover sub and walk out with me

“Of course, couldn’t have you go hungry, you’re educating the brains of our future.” He smiled and chuckled a little as I playfully rolled my eyes as we walked out, “Well I should go get them…text me when you get home, be safe.” I wave at Bob as he nods giving me a small wave before turning to leave to the front office.

As I walked the other way I had an idea, I turned around to face Bob who was already looking at me before I gave him a smile “Hey Bob? Is there a chance…I don’t know…but if the team, the avengers could…could come to school and meet the kids? I’m sure the kids here would be thrilled.” I smiled as Bob looked hesitant before nods “I-I’ll talk to them about it.” He gave me a smile as nod “Thank you, I would appreciate it, just let me know.” I smile before giving him a wave as he turned around to leave as I turned back towards the playground.

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When the school day ended and my students were all picked up, I finally checked my phone as Bob texted me a while ago telling me he was back at the tower before sending me a picture of Yelena and her guinea pig eating together at the table.

I laughed to myself as I texted him back

(Reader): Omg you weren’t lying lmao that’s so cute.

I smiled to myself as I sent the message before getting up with my coffee mug to head to the teachers lounge to get a refill as I saw some of coworkers in there chatting.

I quietly went to the corner where the coffee maker was before the lounge went quiet as they looked at me. Before my colleague Jason and Sarah spoke up, “Someone had a surprise guest come by for lunch who just so happens to be part of the new avengers.” They smiled as I rolled my eyes at the

“He’s my friend and Bob is not part of the new avengers…he just lives with them…and is their when they have press talks in the background.” I say as I add sugar to my coffee

As Jason leaned against the counter next to me “Ya sure. Anyways dose Nick know?” Jason wanted to know all drama and details as Sarah liked to stay silent and listen,

I shake my head before I whisper to them, “Well me and Nick… aren’t really on speaking terms right now, and I could honestly care less if it bothers him or not.” I smile as Jason and Sarah looked at each other with wide eyes as I smile at them with a shrug before leaning against the counter sipping my coffee

Jason shakes his head “Oh naughty, naughty.” He laughed as I smiled at me as Sarah looked at me “So are you and Nick…over?” She asked as I sighed “Well we will be, once he gets over this stupid tantrum of his, I’ll tell him I’m over it, I already have his stuff packed.” Sarah looked at Jason then at me

“I’m just so done with his bullshit.” I sigh as Sarah nods with Jason, they were one of my few friends that actually said I should leave Nick.

They gave me a soft smile as Sarah pat my back “Well we’re on side with this, I mean from what you’ve told me and Jason, Nick seems like a selfish dick.” Jason nods in agreement with her as I gave them both a soft smile and thank you before fixing my hair “Well I should finish up grading my kid’s math assignment.” I smile before leave the teacher lounge.

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When I finally got home I put my bag and leftover sub on the kitchen table beside immediately going to my bedroom and flopping on the bed, kicking off my shoes before I texted Bob I was back home.

I laid on my bed staring up at the ceiling as I let out a sigh before my phone buzzed with Bob sending a thumbs up and yellow heart emoji before he sent a text.

Bobby: “Glad to know, get some rest and enjoy the rest of your leftovers sub, i already ate mine ten out of ten going again.”

I smiled at his text before resting my phone on my chest. I smiled to myself I felt like a teenager girl again crushing on a boy who just texted her.

“God damn it Bob.” I say before I rest my head on my pillow and eventually close my eyes.

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A/n: okay Bob is such a cutie also did y’all get my reference heh, I know I’m amazing. Anyways Taylor swift definitely came to mind when writing about Bob and reader when they were in high school. Also next chapter wouldn’t come out right away I’m still writing here and there into it, and because it’s my finals week I’m not gonna post a new chapter to the series this week, okay much love byeee!!!

[johanna-swann]

The thing is like. Even if you take Buck completely out of the equation Eddie's actions and decisions throughout season 7&8 were so shitty. A lot of fans seem to think of this as a "Team Eddie vs Team Buck" discourse or even a "Buddie vs Bucktommy" discourse, but tbh this isn't really about Buck at all.

Eddie started seeing Kim without telling her his true intentions. She probably thought she was just going on dates with this hot firefighter and didn't know her crush was already in a relationship or only interested in her because she looked like his dead wife.

While that was going on he also basically cheated on his girlfriend at the time. Eddie may not have had any romantic feelings for Kim (which I sort of doubt tbh due to the Shannon of it all), but he still met up with a woman and took her on date-like outings (romantic dinners and boat rides) and lied to Marisol about where he was going, who he was meeting and why.

Even when he finally came clean about the whole story to Kim he brought her into his house where there was a chance Kim and Christopher might run into each other - which they did eventually.

Then the whole mess with Chris leaving happened. Now, I personally wouldn't have let Chris leave in the first place, at least not to a city that's 800 miles away. Eddie's parents are retired, they could've stayed in LA (even in Eddie's house while Eddie crashes with Buck or Pepa) for a while. Or Chris could've stayed with Pepa or Buck.

But okay, I'm not Eddie, Eddie isn't me, he did let Chris go to Texas. I would've acted differently, but I'm also not judging this decision. Why didn't he go get Christopher after a few weeks though? Like, not to be insensitive, but what happened between Kim and Chris wasn't a huge new trauma, it more reactivated an old one. He came home and saw a woman who looked just like his mother in his living room. Of course that brought back old memories and old pain. But dare I say that also would've happened had they run into Kim at her shop? It was pure coincidence that only Eddie spotted her that day. It was still reckless of Eddie to risk bringing her around the house, but he probably could've cleared the whole thing up with Christopher a lot sooner had he just talked to him. Teenagers can be stubborn pricks, but sometimes having uncomfortable conversations with your child that they don't want to have is part of being a parent. It is still your duty to sit them down and tell them the things they need to know about the world and about life. Sometimes you need to apologise even when the other person isn't ready to accept the apology. In that situation Chris needed to know that Kim was just a friend Eddie met by accident, that the reason Eddie befriended her in the first place was because he also misses Shannon and that he's sorry he hurt Christopher.

Instead Eddie neglected his parenting duties for months, at least half a year. And I use the word neglect here on purpose. Eddie let his parents take Chris away, he let Christopher isolate himself from everything in LA, he took Chris out of his old school that they jumped through all kinds of bureaucratic hoops to get him into, he didn't visit his child for months and months (Bobby would've given him time off immediately had he asked and Chris is only 13, Eddie at least should've visited and tried to talk to his son in person at some point before the 6 months mark). Eddie is the grown-up, Eddie is the parent and he should've put his big boy pants on by the end of summer break at the very latest, gone to Texas, sat Christopher down, had an open conversation and taken that boy home in time for the new school year.

Eddie did not do that. Maybe because he was scared that he'd screw up again or that this wasn't fixable, maybe because he felt too guilty to see Chris in person yet, maybe because the thing with Kim rattled him so much he himself hadn't recovered by the end of summer. In which case he at the very least should've gone back to therapy. If you feel so scared or guilty or overwhelmed that you can't even vistit your child and have a conversation with him, then go to fucking therapy. Eddie didn't do that either. He just grew a mustache. I'm sure that helped.

Anyway. Eventually Eddie did decide to go get his son back. Several months too late imo, but ok, good for him. Why the fuck did Eddie buy a house in Texas for that? Does El Paso not have rentals? Was there no way he could've lived with a relative (like Isabel) while doing apartment hunting? He went there to get his son back, right? Eddie's best case scenario was to got to Texas, fix things with Christopher and then both of them go back to LA, right? That's why Buck didn't take over the lease entirely he just sublet, right? So why buy the murder shack? That's incredibly financially irresponsible for someone who had only just been scraping by in LA and expected to take back in his special needs kid soon. It's also not logical at all? Why buy a house in a city you're not sure you'll live in for more than a month or two? And tbh? Helena was not entirely wrong to worry about that house being safe for Christopher. Didn't the cupboard basically fall on Eddie when he tried to open it? Yes, Eddie did a lot of repairs around that house, but if I was Helena and if I had raised that kid for the past six months I also would've been protective.

Before he even moved to El Paso though Eddie tried to keep the move a secret from his colleagues. Again, why? Bobby was already Captain again, it's not like he would've kicked Eddie out of the 118 before he actually had a moving date. What did Eddie think was going to happen if he gave his colleagues a heads up about leaving the team soon(ish)? If I remember correctly he tried to keep it a secret right up until the last second. Does the LAFD not have rules about handing in your notice? Does Eddie not care that if he leaves suddenly from one day to the next Bobby will have to scrape by with a) an understaffed team, b) a temp that won't stick around or c) a permanent new member who he had to pick quickly without having time to consider more candidates? Does Eddie not think the 118 might need a bit of a warning before they're suddenly one team member short? That's kind of a dick move, but what makes it worse is that they're not just colleagues, they're supposed to be friends, family even. And he just. Doesn't tell them he is moving to Texas in two weeks? Wtf.

Anyway, he then arrives in El Paso and fair enough, he should get settled before he dives into the deep end. But even after weeks he still doesn't talk to Christopher about what happened. Instead he gets pissed that his parents got used to parenting Christopher in the 6 months when he didn't take care of his own kid. He could've had a calm conversation with his parents about how he is thankful for all they've done (and they have done a lot for Eddie and Chris here, beginning with getting on a plane in the middle of the night to fly halfway across the country because their grandson called them for help and ending with raising Chris for half a year because Eddie refused to get his ass to Texas sooner than that) and about how he understands that they got used to this new dynamic, but that he is still Christopher's father, that he has the last say when it comes to parenting decisions and that they have to keep him in the loop and include him more now that he's in Texas too.

Instead he stays completely quiet, lets his mom walk all over him without challenging her at all, then he follows his father to a chess tournament, leaves him there and blows up at his mom because Chris lied to her about liking chess. Yes, she pressured Christopher too much, but she really thought she was supporting Chris' talent and hobby here. This should've been a calm conversation between all three adults and maybe Christopher as well, not a pseudo-self-righteous revenge plot where Eddie got to play victim yet again. If you have a problem with a person you tell them calmly and figure out a solution, you don't hide that you have an issue with them, bottle it up, yell at them and don't even let them say their piece.

At the end of the season he decides on a whim to move back to LA, uprooting Christopher yet again and leaving behind a half renovated, half dump of a place that he owns now. We don't even know if he asked Christopher about moving back.

Did Eddie at any point think about anything or anyone except what he himself wanted or needed? He definitely didn't think about Marisol's feelings when he cheated on her. He didn't think about Kim's feelings when he led her on. He didn't think about fixing things with Christopher until he got scared he might lose Chris forever, it wasn't about Chris needing a dad or Chris needing to talk about his feelings or Chris seeming unhappy in Texas, it was all about Eddie. He didn't think about Bobby getting into trouble if Eddie up and left basically over night. He didn't seem at all thankful to his parents after they really stepped up for him and Chris (maybe they aren't perfect, but they did Eddie a huge favour and Christopher was mostly happy in El Paso). None of that had anything to do with Buck, it's just who Eddie is and of course that is also reflected in their friendship.

Up until season 6 it was less noticeable because the show was better at making Eddie seem relatable, but recently Eddie has been extremely self-centered and it's almost funny how Eddie keeps calling Buck out for exactly that even though it's Eddie who has been acting like this the entire time.

Eddie lands himself in jail? He gets angry at Buck for not being there to help him. Shannon wants to go to LA to take care of her dying mother? How can she even suggest that. Bobby won't let him back on the job because he doesn't seem ready? He yells at Bobby about killing his children. Eddie feels like a stranger in his son's life because he actually hasn't been in Chris' life for 6 months? Blame the Diaz parents.

Everything has to go according to Eddie's plan and when others don't play along then they're being selfish.

[drunkinyourbenz]

୨ৎ from my family line. b.e

୨ৎ billie eilish x reader

୨ৎ genre: angst

୨ৎ content: family issues (reader), past abuse from family (specified as father), mentioned verbal abuse, implied physical abuse (only if you read into it, i don't specifically mention it), implied alcoholiscm from father, mostly just implied past issues so you can kind of just insert your own situation or use your imagination, hospital mention (breifly, and for the father), abandonment issues, comfort (from billie), super long build up until billie comes in but i promise our girl plays a big part in this!! one singular use of y/n i'm so sorry

୨ৎ note: part of my superache collection <3 based off the song family line. uh yeah this is a little piece of my soul and the most personal thing i've ever posted here so hi guys (also i'm feeding yall wdym i wrote this in the same day as footnote who is this what have i become) anyway writing this made me wanna off myself so have fun <3

୨ৎ wc: 3.1k

billie knew you didn’t have a good history with your family, everyone knew it. your father had been as cruel as your mother was tired—she was tired of him, she was tired of life. she had tried her best for you and your siblings, which you were grateful for, but you would forever mourn the childhood you never got to live. 

your father was a quiet man, but the thoughts he harboured behind the quiet mask were lethal. he said things that would live in your mind for evermore, things that you couldn’t escape from no matter how hard you tried. 

your father was your first taste of being unloved. 

you’d basically cut contact with your father after you finished high school, and moving out had been the biggest relief of your life. it had been hard, leaving home at eighteen and not getting any help from your parents, but it was needed. you needed the space, you needed to be able to breathe for once. 

but god, it was weird. you had felt alone in your family home, but you still felt alone away from them. some strange part of you missed it, missed having people around you, even if you had felt so unsafe around them. 

you couldn’t help the way your eyes gravitated towards the families during the holiday seasons—the fathers with their little girls, scooping them up in their arms and spinning them around. the family picnics, the photos, the memories that you’d never been given the chance to make. the experiences you would never live. it hurt your heart, the way you were jealous of these children, but why were you somehow so undeserving of that love? why did the universe hate you so much that it had put you in your situation instead? 

your whole childhood, you had been scared. you’d been an anxious child, and you knew it had stemmed from the way you were treated, the way you were walking on eggshells in your own home. most days, you’d go to a friend’s house for fear of what version of your father you might come home to—you’d never tell your friends the full story, also out of fear, but it was a place to hide from the sad, sad reality you’d been born into. 

in your second year of high school, your older brother had moved out. you couldn’t blame him, you knew that you would also be getting out of the house as soon as you possibly could, but he had been your only rock, your only sense of salvation. now you were alone, and there were countless nights you found yourself sitting in his childhood bedroom, staring at the empty desk and the discarded collection of school stationary in his cupboard. no one had bothered to clean anything up since he’d left, so it was kept in a permanent state of memory. 

you didn’t see your brother much after he moved out, he had distanced himself from your father and everything connected to him. you understood why, but you were alone. for the last three years of high school, you’d been the only one in the house alongside your two parents who hated each other more than anything else. 

you felt like ever truly being loved was an impossible feat, as though anyone who loved you was destined to leave in the end, it was only a matter of time. 

but somewhere along the way, you met billie. 

billie was everything you never knew, everything you had never felt. billie was love in the purest forms, love in ways you had never believed could be real. day by day, billie was slowly breaking down your walls, helping you see that there was love for you, and that your parents were not the prototype for every relationship. she didn’t understand what it had been like for you, having these family issues, but she’d been more than happy to help you work through it, to stay by your side while you healed from the things you never said. 

you began to open up more than you’d ever thought you would—you began to love billie more than you’d ever thought it possible to love anyone. 

your walls were breaking down, just for her, and that thought terrified you. 

what if she left as soon as you’d fully let her in? what if you were too much for her to deal with? 

but you weren’t. the two of you had been together for two years, and although you’d had your share of ups and downs, as every relationship did, she’d never once made you feel unwanted. with her, you felt like you were worth something. 

for once in your life, you had someone who made you feel like you were someone worth fighting for. 

you had blocked your father’s number years ago, after an event that transpired after you’d first attempted to move out when you graduated high school, a jumble of words, feelings, and actions that you hadn’t even known he had in him, let alone directed at you. it had been your last straw, and you’d sent your mother a text telling her that if she was going to continue her relationship with him you would not be seeing her unless she made plans specifically without him. she had made plans, but since that moment you had found yourself significantly distanced from both your parents. 

it was like you didn’t even have a family—of course, you had billie’s, which you were eternally grateful for. you would never get over how welcoming they’d been, how finneas had taught you to play guitar, how maggie had taught you her favourite vegan recipes, and how patrick had taken you to all his favourite museums. it was somewhat like having parents to teach you these things, but… nothing would ever compare to the idea of having your own family. 

you had wished for years that maybe your childhood had just been some sick nightmare, that you’d wake up and your brother would be visiting you with his girlfriend and their dog, and you’d be having dinner at your parent’s house. 

of course, it wasn’t a dream. it was a nightmare you were very much awake for, and you certainly would not be getting another chance with a better family. you’d never even met your brother’s girlfriend, and the only way you knew that they had a dog was through your cousin. 

you’d never planned to ever speak to your father again, and when you did, you wished it had never happened. it was a spring night—you’d just been to billie’s parents’ house for dinner, and you were in a good mood, so you didn’t think much of it when your phone lit up with a message from an unknown number. 

(208)-464-1943 hello 

you’d texted back simply, mostly focusing on the task of putting some clothes away in your closet, only barely giving the message attention.

(323)-182-7742 hi, who is this?

(208)-464-1943 is this y/n? 

at that, your focus was snatched up by the messages—who was this? if they knew you, why not just say their own name?

(323)-182-7742 who is this?

(208)-464-1943 your father

for a long moment, you just stared at the screen, as if the text was going to disappear and it’d be replaced with ‘hey! i’m the girl you met at that volunteering thing last week,’ and your day would continue as normal. but it didn’t, and you spent an alarming amount of time staring blankly at the message in blue. you were in disbelief—you hadn’t spoken to your father in almost three years, why was he messaging you now?

breaking you out of your trance, another message popped up below the last.

(208)-464-1943 can we talk?

(323)-182-7742 no. i had your last number blocked for a reason, and i’m going to block this one. leave me alone.

(208)-464-1943 i’m in hospital, did your mother tell you? you should visit.

you hadn’t known that, and it made your stomach clench with anxiety. in hospital? for what? is he okay—

you hated the concern you felt, and you stared at the message for a few minutes. 

would you visit? no. no, you wouldn’t be visiting your father in hospital. not after everything. you couldn’t help the slight guilt you felt, but you also couldn’t bring yourself to face him again. not after everything, not after the hell that was your childhood. what good would seeing him do, really? 

(323)-182-7742 i won’t be visiting.

208)-464-1943 you’re no daughter of mine.

of course that was his first reaction, to turn it on you as if his years of making your childhood a living hell didn’t take away his right to have you by his side. after all, respect is earned, and this man certainly did not respect you. 

you hated the way that in your mind, your automatic response was “you’re no father of mine”. because although that was true, you hated the fact that after everything, you had that same mean streak. you had the same need to prove yourself, the same snappy defensive words. for years, you’d told yourself that your father was merely the man who’d brought you life—but perhaps it was impossible to be trapped in on all sides by someone for so many years and not inherit their mannerisms. 

you hated that fact, and you caught yourself before you typed it out. you would not stoop to his level. 

instead of following in his footsteps, you left him on read, blocking his number. 

then, you slumped down at the foot of the bed, your head falling back against the wood as you squeezed your eyes shut, head tilted up at the ceiling. your hands clasped together in your lap, squeezing, squeezing, and your phone lay discarded on the floor next to you. you were unsure exactly when the tears had started falling, nor were you fully sure of the reason why. 

perhaps it was the fact that he’d messaged you—being in contact for the first time in so long was terrifying, and it made your heart ache. or maybe it was the words he’d said, about not being his daughter, maybe it reminded you too much of the past and the careless words he would throw around back then. 

or perhaps it was the fact that you were his daughter. 

despite everything, no matter the hatred for him that had been brewing inside you since before you even knew what hatred was, despite his harshness and the way he’d treated you over the years, you were his daughter. you had been born into a life where he was your father, where he was half of you. you had been born into a world where you didn’t feel like you could visit your father in the hospital, and that stung. 

you wanted to feel the pain, you wanted to be able to sit by the hospital bed and hold his hand while you both cried, perhaps you would reminisce on the past and the memories you’d made together—oh, how you yearned for that life. but that life was the future of the little girls you saw each summer, up on their father’s shoulders, looking at him like he was the best thing in the world. 

that was not your life. that was not your life, because you were his daughter. 

you were only sitting on the floor of the bedroom for about six minutes before billie walked in, humming a tune softly. her eyes settled on you, the way you were crumpled on the floor at the foot of the bed, deflated. a soft, concerned frown found its way to her face, and she instantly sat down on the floor next to you, “hi, my sweet girl. what’s wrong?”

upon feeling her presence next to you, you didn’t speak. silently, you shuffled closer to her so that your side was pressed against her, your head resting on her shoulder. your hand found its way to her arm, closing around the soft fabric of her hoodie, feeling the material between your fingers. 

she didn’t push you to speak, she just allowed her hand to find its black on your lower back, moving slightly up and down in a soothing motion. gradually, your hand relaxed slightly around the fabric of her hoodie, and that was when you let out a sob. your head buried in the crook of her neck as you tried to hide your face, a sense of shame washing over you. 

you clung to her like she was your lifeline, like she was your only source of oxygen. she held you gently in her arms, her hand moving up to your hair, where her fingers ran through it soothingly. you only buried your head further in the crook of her neck, muffling your cries. 

“oh, baby. d’you wanna talk about it, or should i just hold you?”

and despite the shame, despite the fear, you wanted to talk to her about it. you needed to. she was the only person who’d truly made you feel comfortable talking about this stuff, and you needed to talk about it more than anything in the world. 

“he texted me.”

there was a short pause, a moment of silence. billie’s brows furrowed slightly, a feature you would’ve noticed had you not still been hidden in her shoulder. 

“...your father?”

you nodded into her shoulder, “new number. he said…” you trailed off, another choked sob leaving your lips. 

“hey, take your time, honey. there’s no rush.”

“he said he’s in hospital.” 

billie fell silent, and you felt her arms tense around you ever so slightly—a barely noticeable shift, but you noticed. “did you–”

“he told me to visit. i told him i won’t.” 

you noticed the way billie’s arms seemed to relax around you again, “yeah? how do you feel?”

“he– he said i’m no daughter of his.” billie’s mouth opened to speak, but you continued. “but i am. and i just…like, i just wish i wasn’t. i am his daughter. i am. i can’t hide from that fact. and i hate that. i hate that he’s my father. i hate that we share a face, that we share a last name. we have the same eyes. maybe if we weren’t so similar, it wouldn’t hurt so bad.”

billie’s hand shifted down from your hair to your arm, stroking softly as if to ground you, gently coaxing you away from your hiding space in the crook of her neck. when you were finally face to face with her, she pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

 “my darling girl, you are not the same as him. no matter how similar you may feel, you may look, you’re not your father. you’d never treat anyone the way he treated you. i know that, even if you don’t. you are a sweet, kind person, and it shocks me that you’ve managed to remain so kind when you were raised without the nurture you deserve. you’re a strong, gorgeous, lovely person, and i am so proud of you for doing what you knew was right, yeah? him bringing that up was just a manipulation tactic, he wanted you to feel guilty. it wasn’t about visiting him, it was just him being a shitty excuse for a father.”

you hummed quietly, and the two of you stayed on the floor like that for a while, your heart thumping in your chest as you rested your head against her shoulder. after a long moment, she spoke softly, “want to move up to the bed?”

“mhm,” you agreed, and she helped you up and walked with you to your shared bed. she lay there, propped up against the pillows, arms outstretched for you to join her. you did just that, sinking into her arms with an impossible sense of relief, finally back where you truly belonged. 

“do you think there’s another universe where i could visit him?” 

billie paused, looking at you. “...i’m sure there’s a universe out there where you get to love him like you deserve, but i don’t think you should dwell on that. in this universe, he doesn’t deserve it. you don’t owe him anything, not after how he treated you.”

another soft hum left your lips, “yeah.” you nuzzled up to her side, “yeah, you’re right. i just hate that he acted like one message would change things, like somehow him texting me after three years meant i’d want to see him. it just felt like another way of guilt tripping, another excuse.” 

billie nodded, her fingers threading through your hair and brushing down the side of your arm, “it’s valid, you know. how you feel. i’ve never experienced anything like what you did, but i know that.”

“thank you.”

a gentle silence fell over the two of you as she held you through it, your mind racing overtime with thoughts. leaning closer into her embrace, you sighed. 

“i hate the way he always tries to put the blame on me…” 

billie hummed softly, and you continued.

“someone who loved me wouldn’t do what he did.”

billie’s lips brushes against your forehead again as her fingertips danced across the skin of your arms, a non-sexual intimacy which was solely to comfort you, remind you that she was here. “exactly. i know it’s hard, but…” billie’s voice trailed off as she watched the tears still trailing down your cheeks. 

“this…this is just…bringing everything back. can you talk about something? please? i don’t want to think about it.” 

at your whispered words, billie nodded instantly, “mhm. wanna hear about the songs me and finneas were playing around with the other day?” 

“please.”

so billie spoke, her voice the same soft and soothing melody that it always was, and you sunk deeper into her arms, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume that lingered on her clothes. you weren’t fully listening, and she knew that, but it was taking your mind off the memories, which you both knew you desperately needed. she talked about the songs, mentioning a guitar song that was in the works, and you smiled at that. billie’s guitar songs were something else. 

as she spoke, her hand rested on the skin of your bare shoulder that was exposed through your tank top, her thumb moving in soothing shapes across your skin, her touch warm. if you’d been more aware at that moment, you might’ve noticed the stars she was tracing across your skin, the words she was writing. you might have noticed the ‘i love you’ and the heart. you didn’t, you just noticed her. her touch, her voice, her love. 

after what felt like hours of listening to her speak, a soft lull came in the flow of her words, and you spoke up. 

“you won’t leave, will you?” 

and billie didn’t miss a second before she replied, her voice still soft and adoring. “never.” 

all that i did to try to undo it

all of my pain and all your excuses

i was a kid but i wasn't clueless

someone who loves you wouldn't do this

୨ৎ tags: @47lake @st0nerlesb0 @n0vabug @darkside-0f-the-sun @asterisk-eyes @amara-eilish @dragoneyelashart @greenbttrflyy @billiessillywife @tan1shere @asothinking @ilovealiceosemann

[tinkeli]

Stay. ✧ Rain Carradine x fem!reader

Warnings: Alcohol use, shameless smut, language

Summary: You've been pining over your best friend's ex for months. Of course, she'd never like you back. Probably.

Author's note: first post on tumblr in years, and also my first fanfic ever lol. English is not my first language so I'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, also wrote this when sick so it might be confusing LMAO. Anyways i need rain so bad it isnt funny anymore

wc: ~4,7k

✶

“Rain.” The name rolled off your tongue smoothly, as if you had repeated it a lot - which you had. To yourself, mostly. Tyler stood in front of you, his curious expression shifting to one of slight bewilderment. 

“Rain? You like her?” He spoke, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Tyler was your best friend. Knew you better than anyone. What he didn’t know was that you liked girls. More specifically his ex.

 Didn’t know. Until now.

You nodded, gaze drifting to your feet, almost shamefully. You knew he would never be mad at you for something like this, but it was still a difficult admission to make.

“Tyler, I’m sorry. I just-” You started, reaching out to place a hand on his arm, trying to ease him. 

“Y/n, It’s… Okay.” He muttered, giving you an unreadable look, his thick eyebrows slightly twitching, unsure. Tyler’s relationship with Rain hadn’t ended well, him still clearly having feelings for her. “At least she could actually like you.” He adds, chuckling dryly. Rain had realized she wasn’t into guys, that being the main reason for their break-up a few months ago. You gave him a reprimanding frown. That wasn’t something he should joke about.

You needed to glance away for a moment to gather your thoughts. You knew him. The way he was acting, he wasn’t telling you everything. Tightening your grip on his arm, you spoke, voice laced with guilt: “It doesn’t seem to be ‘okay’…” 

Tyler, ever the people-pleaser - at least when it came to you - gave you a weak smile. “It’s okay, promise.” He shook your hand off your arm to place his large hand on your shoulder. “Go for it, I say.” He spoke, pausing to swallow thickly. “What Rain and I had - it’s in the past. We don���t have any hard feelings, never had.”

You took a heavy breath, looking up at him. “Still… Would you really be okay with your best friend dating your ex?” You spoke quietly, grateful for the warmth of his hand on your shoulder seeping through your shirt and grounding you to reality. “Would it not hurt you?”

Tyler shrugged. “Nah. Like I said, what’s done is done.” He spoke, reassuringly looking down at you. “And who’s to say you won’t get rejected?” He added with a grin, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“Funny.” You remarked sarcastically. But he was right. Did Rain even like you? It’s not like Jackson’s Star had lots of women (or people in general) she could’ve trusted.

✶

As you walked home through the dingy and filthy streets of the colony, clenching and unclenching your hands beside you, Rain was the only thing in your mind. As usual. Did she like you? Could she ever? Who even was she? Rain Carradine certainly was a woman of many questions. Ones you wished, prayed, you would get the answers to.

The next day, you were making your daily commute to the mines. Only a few more 9-hour shifts and you’d have filled the quota for getting out of here. Of course, nobody ever really got away.

You learned that when you were still young. The memory of seeing your parents so crushed over another increase in their required quota would always stay with you. They had died almost 10 years ago. It seemed that everyone’s parents were slowly dropping dead, being overworked since the age of 16. You were sort of lucky, having lost them before your age even reached double digits. You didn’t remember that much about the time you had with them. 

Your thoughts drifted to Rain again, as you walked through the crowded main street of the colony. You wondered if she ever missed her parents, how well she knew them. She was enigmatic. Every time you thought you were getting to know her, it seemed as if yet another layer of the walls she had built around herself materialized to replace the one you had just broken down. You felt like you didn’t know her at all, despite her having been a part of your group for 3 years at this point. 

You worked through your numbing mining shift, clocking out when it was 3pm. What to do now? It was Friday, so it was typical of your friend group - more like family at this point - to gather up in your favorite bar to get drunk and forget about all your problems. 

You headed home, utterly exhausted. You were glad it was only 3pm. You had time to rest. You took a hot shower, the warm water easing the aching in your body, before taking a short but effective nap. You made yourself some food and cleaned your small flat a bit to distract yourself.

Still, she found her way into every thought in your head. Especially her eyes - God, her eyes. The prettiest color you had ever seen. The first time Tyler brought Rain to meet the group back when they had just gotten together, you were all but enchanted. Her eyes were perfectly shaped, like the almonds your parents used to buy for meals on special occasions. The color reminded you of your favorite flowers - irises. You had only seen photos of them in books, but they were still your favorite. Her eyes sparkled like light-blue sapphires when hit by the artificial lights on the streets. Whenever you two would have a conversation, however short, you would have to force yourself to look somewhere other than her eyes for even a moment. 

Strange. Eye-contact was usually really not your thing.

Neither were blue eyes, really. Before meeting Rain, of course. For example, Tyler’s cousin’s icy blue eyes were kinda creepy. Pretty, yeah. But creepy. Like he could look right into your soul with those things. Full offense. Bjorn was an asshole. Though you had a soft spot for him.

How you wished you would get a closer look at her eyes. Much closer. You had spent more nights fantasizing about her than you would’ve liked to admit. Her mouth on yours, those strong arms wrapped around you, small but deft fingers fucking in and out of you. Fuck. You really have to get it together. 

✶

Time passed when you stayed busy doing menial chores. Soon, it was time to get ready to meet the others. You felt an almost nauseating excitement pool in the pits of your stomach, knowing you would get to see her. The excitement mixed with a debilitating uneasiness, having a hunch that you would make a fool of yourself in front of her, some way or the other. Still, you decided to put on your hottest dress. The short, black one that accentuated all your curves in just the right ways. 

You walked to the bar, luckily only a mile or so away from your apartment. You flashed the bouncer your ID, slowly walking inside. You looked around for the others, spotting Tyler, Bjorn, Navarro and Kay sitting around a table in the corner. You greeted them, settling next to Tyler. It was kind of awkward, since the last conversation you two had had was about your crush on his ex. 

You intently listened to the others talk, expecting Rain and her brother to appear any second, like they always do. Still, an hour passed. Then another. At this point, you were pretty wasted. Your filter tended to disappear when you got alcohol into your system, so you finally built up the courage to ask the others about Rain’s whereabouts. 

“Hey… Where’s Rain..?” You spoke, voice slurring slightly as you held a half-empty beer can in your hand.

“She should already be here...” Kay said, furrowing her brows and looking at the others, in case they knew. 

When no one had an answer, you started to feel the worry in your stomach build, making your stomach churn. It sobered you up. Rain was never late. You had learned that in your many months of observing her.

“Should we go check on her?” Tyler asked, the unease evident in his voice as well.

“I’ll go.” You slid out of your seat, not leaving any room for arguments. It was strange enough that she was late. Even stranger that Andy hadn’t shown up to tell you guys about it.

You ditched the group despite their protests about going outside, drunk and alone, dressed in that tiny dress. You knew where Rain lived. She had gotten her own apartment near the others’ trailer after her and Tyler broke up - she didn’t want to be around him much. Things got back to normal, but she decided to keep living there with Andy. Said it suited her more.

You slightly stumbled while walking up the stairs, past the other apartments. It was honestly a miracle that you managed to find the right door in such a state of panic and intoxication. You knocked on the door frantically. “Rain! Andy!” You yelled, pressing your ear against the door to listen for any movements.

Sure enough, you heard shuffling from behind the door. You leaned back just before the door swung open, revealing a tired-looking Rain.

“Hey.” She spoke quietly, her eyes taking in your disheveled appearance. “You been through a hurricane?”

You let out an audible sigh of relief.

“You didn’t come. T-to the bar, I mean.” You explained, breathless. God. You had never been so glad to see her.

 Even now, you couldn’t help your eyes trailing from her eyes to the clothes she was wearing. Or the lack of them. Rain was clad in only short shorts and a tank top. Your breath hitched in your throat as you took in the sight.

“Didn’t feel like it.” She spoke nonchalantly and shrugged. She gave you a look. Must’ve noticed you ogling at her. Shit.

“Come in. You look like hell.” She said, voice warming up a bit.

You felt your stomach flutter with the force of at least a thousand butterflies. Still, you complied - of course you did.

You shook your shoes off, following her into her small flat. She sat down on the couch, looking up at you with an unreadable expression. You swallowed, following her and gingerly sitting down next to her. 

A tense silence fell between the two of you. You two rarely hung out alone.

“So… Any reason you wanted me here?” You spoke carefully, trying your best to pronounce your words clearly despite being drunk and still reeling from the panic you were feeling the whole way there. 

Sitting there, just you and her, made your insides twist in nervousness. You studied her profile, her beautifully sloped nose, the way her brown hair was messily tied up, but still somehow managed to look put together.

After a moment, Rain responded.

“Not really. Jus’ felt lonely. Andy’s been installing some kinda software update for an hour now.” She spoke, taking a sip off the almost full aspen beer bottle on the coffee table.

“So you’re drinking alone ‘cause you feel lonely? Even though you could’ve come to the bar with us?” You felt the earlier panic and worry subside now that you had found her, giving way to your usual drunken demeanor.

She gave you a small chuckle. Her smile was so pretty. Pure.

“Guess so.” She muttered, taking a larger swig, finishing the bottle in one go.

Fuck, that was hot. You couldn’t take your eyes off the way she let her head fall back, how her throat moved when she swallowed. You felt a warm thrum low in your stomach, instinctively bringing your thighs closer together when you felt your core ache for her, getting wetter by the second. Why did beer always have to make you so damn horny? You cleared your throat nervously, trying not to stare at her too hard.

“Got any more beer for me? Since you’re evidently not letting me back to the bar.” You tried sounding casual, shifting to a bit more comfortable position on the couch.

She scoffed, but got up and walked to the fridge. “If you want to leave, I can’t stop you.” She spoke, walking back to the couch with a couple of bottles for the both of you. She sat down and passed you a bottle. “I just… Hope you don’t.” She added more quietly.

Her words made your heart skip a beat, and you tried your best to hide any signs of the turbulence happening through your entire body.

“I… I won’t leave.” You choked out, gripping the beer bottle tighter as your gaze involuntarily wandered to her almost bare legs. The legs you had often pictured on your shoulders, your face buried in her pussy. Fuck…

“You okay?” She shifted closer, leaning closer to your face. “You look a bit flushed…”

Oh fuck she’s right there. You gave her a smile that was a bit too wide, nodding. “Oh, i-it’s probably just… Just the alcohol.” You stammered, your grip on the beer bottle tightening.

“If you say so…” She muttered. You almost exhaled in relief, but she didn’t move away completely, just leaning back slightly. She stayed there, close, looking at you intently. You tore your gaze away from hers to take a sip of the crappy beer you all had gotten used to drinking.

“Are you and Tyler together?” You suddenly heard Rain nonchalantly speak from beside you, making you almost spit out your drink. 

“Oh- fuck no.” You chuckled dryly. “Just friends. He’s more like a brother to me than anything.” You add, wanting to make your relationship with him abundantly clear.

She hummed thoughtfully at that, taking a small sip of beer, before meeting your gaze again.

“Have you ever been together with anyone?” She questioned, slightly tilting her head to the side. God, how was she always so calm? You felt like you were about to combust.

“No… Just some random hookups in bars.” You mused, absentmindedly rotating the beer bottle in your hand. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering…” She drawled, giving you a strange look. She was smirking at you, her expression almost smug. 

You finished your beer bottle, setting it onto the wooden coffee table with a clink. As you settled back onto the couch, you noticed the way she was slightly leaning towards you while facing forward, nearly laying her head on your shoulder. You felt the butterflies make their return, the almost nauseating flutter making you swallow and slightly tense up.

“You sure you’re okay..?” She spoke quietly and turned to face you, placing a hand on your thigh like it was nothing. You immediately looked at her hand, eyes widening. You forced yourself to meet her gaze, opening your mouth to speak. But no words came out.

“What’s the matter, y/n?” She rolled her tongue across her lower lip, making direct eye contact with you. Your breath hitched as you saw her gaze flicker down to your lips for a fraction of a moment, before returning to your panicked eyes.

Her eyes were dark. The pretty blue irises were almost completely eclipsed by her pupils. Had she done drugs? You cluelessly thought to yourself, so oblivious to what Rain was thinking about. Her hand tightened on your thigh, and she leaned closer and closer, until you could see every little pore on her skin, even in the dim light. Is she oka-

And then, her lips were on yours.

It took a moment for you to register what was happening, only coming back to reality once you felt her small hand on your almost hot cheek, the other still on your thigh.

You immediately felt all reason fly out the window, your hand snaking up her back to her neck to grab onto something - anything. All you could think about was how much you needed to touch her. 

You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, your grip on her neck slightly tightening as you felt her tongue enter your mouth. She was really good at this, her tongue swirling around yours, tasting you. She took her hand off your cheek, placing it on your waist, her other hand running up your thigh to your hip. Without breaking the kiss, she pulled you to her lap, making you straddle her.

One of her hands inched onto your back, her fingers teasingly running over the zipper of your dress. She pulled away, looking up at you with an intensity you had never seen on her face. She looked otherworldly, her eyes half-lidded with arousal, lips glistening with saliva.

“You have no idea how much I want you.” She whispered breathlessly. “You knew exactly what you were doing,” She paused to nip at your neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. “Coming to my place in that dress.” She continues placing wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, slowly opening the zipper on your back.

You damn near moaned at just her words, her every touch making your blood run hotter and hotter. She lazily rolled the short hem of your dress above your ass, pulling the item over your head. She let it fall to the floor, taking in the sight in front of her. She looked up at you with a cocky smirk. “You’re not even wearing a bra…” She drawled, sounding almost condescending.

You didn’t have much time to dwell on her tone of voice, her hands moving to palm at your tits greedily. “So perfect…” She sighed shakily, leaning down slightly in order to give your nipple a tentative lick. You whined at the sensation, hearing her chuckle against your skin. 

Rain started licking, sucking, and nibbling at your breast while her other hand pinched and flicked at the other, making your head fall back. You shivered and gasped at the sensations she was making you feel, certainly far better at this than the random drunk girls you had hooked up with before.

Still, it wasn’t enough. The shivers of pleasure coursed straight to your aching core, your panties already soaked, uncomfortably so. Your hands grasped at her muscular arms desperately as you looked down at her. “Please, Rain… More.” You breathed, voice trembling with arousal. 

“Fine, fine…” She shook her head in resignation. “Lie down for me.” She purred, letting you get off her lap and lie on the surprisingly comfortable couch. She was on you instantly, forearms planted on either side of your head as her lips crashed onto yours. Her knee nestled between your legs, grinding against your arousal. You moaned into her mouth, the slight relief making you rub against her leg desperately.

“You’re so needy…” She muttered, looking at you underneath her. Her face was flushed, and eyes practically glazed over with lust. “Need’a taste you.” She whispered huskily, even just her voice making you gush. “Please…” You whined as she planted kisses down your neck, nibbling at your collarbone, definitely leaving a mark. She slowly moved down your body, showering it with little bites and kisses, before reaching the waistband of your panties.

“Fuck, you’re wet.” She mused under her breath, placing her hands onto your inner thighs, pushing them apart and pressing a finger against your damp panties. You inhaled sharply, quietly whining as she began to lightly circle your clit. “So pretty…” She murmured, increasing the pressure. You instinctively snapped your hips towards her, needing more. She let out a low chuckle, enjoying the reactions she was able to draw out of you. “Want me to take these off?”

You nodded frantically, lifting your hips slightly to allow her to carefully slide the last article of clothing off you. She lowered herself down to her stomach, inhaling the scent of your arousal. 

“Please, Rain-” You whined, hands clenching around the couch’s soft cushion.

“Please what?” She grinned up at you, tilting her head slightly. “Use your words, sweetie.”

“Please, eat me out!” You whimpered, your hand subconsciously moving to grab the hair on the back of her head.

“‘Atta girl.” She purred, plunging her face into your dripping pussy. She licked a stripe across the length of your core, tasting you. You let out a soft moan, trying to keep your body as still as possible. Her hands grabbed at your thighs, keeping the spread apart with ease as she worked, lapping up your juices, using the tip of her tongue precisely, making your legs shake. She dipped her tongue inside you, essentially fucking you with it. God, no one had ever eaten you out this well. You let out needy whines and moans, probably a bit too loud for Rain’s neighbors. But neither of you cared, so lost in the moment.

Your head fell back as Rain slid two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out in tandem with her mouth’s movements. Her fingers curled up, just enough to hit that spot that makes you lose it. You were so close. “Rai-in..!” You whined, tightening your grip in her hair. “...’M so- close!” Your words were pathetically desperate and slurred, the movements of her fingers and mouth making the pleasure coil in your stomach.

Then, she pulled away. You whined at the loss, looking down at her with a downright devastated expression. “Not yet.” She tutted, making eye contact with you as she licked her fingers clean. “Wanna enjoy this…” 

After a moment of kissing and sucking at the soft flesh of your inner thighs, she leaned back down again, her breath hitting your oversensitive core. You groaned, your hand in her hair tightening but not pushing her down. “Now, what do we say, sweetie?” She spoke, rubbing up and down your thigh.

“Please.” You choked out, earning a smirk from her.

“Good girl.” She continued what she was doing earlier, her tongue drawing shapes and letters onto your folds and clit. Her fingers returned to your entrance, teasing it a bit before slipping inside again. It didn’t take long for her to have you a moaning, panting mess again. You started to feel the tension in your stomach build, until you were teetering right on the edge.

“Come on my face, baby.” Rain chuckled against you, giving you one last languid lick and sending you right over the edge. Your walls clenched around her fingers as you did exactly what she told you to. Your head fell back with a loud moan of her name, your whole body tensing momentarily as all you saw were stars. She coaxed you through your orgasm, slowly moving her tongue against you. She got up from her position between your legs, hovering over you with a smirk on her face.

Your eyes fluttered open to see her on top of your breathless body. She looked ethereal. Her hair was ruffled, cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, lips and chin glistening with saliva and your juices. Jesus Christ…

“You’re so beautiful…” You muttered, running your thumb over her lower lip and bringing it to your own lips to taste yourself, keeping eye contact. You noticed how she slightly twitched at the sight, clearly struggling with her own neediness.

“I wanna make you feel good, too…” You looked up at her almost pleadingly, meeting her large, oh so pretty eyes.

Rain grinned. “How could I say no to that?”

She pulled you on top of her, her hands on your waist. Panting, lips slightly parted, you looked at her splayed out underneath you.

You leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss trailing your hand lower down her body, playing with the hem of her shirt. One of her hands tangled in your hair while the other stayed on your waist.

You broke the kiss for a moment, pulling her tank top over her head. Seeing her bare chest and stomach made your stomach do a flip. “You’re so… so hot.” You muttered in awe, hands lightly running down her sides. She gave you a coy smile in response.

You began trailing kisses down her neck, making her gasp and shiver underneath you. Slowly your hands made their way to her shorts, and you hooked your thumbs under the waistband, tugging them off almost frantically.

You pressed your fingers against her damp panties, applying just enough pressure to make her desperate for more. It took all you had not to tear her panties off and eat her out until she came on your face. You needed to be patient. The sounds of Rain’s soft whines, the ruffling of fabric, and your heavy breathing filled the air of the otherwise quiet apartment.

“Take them off already…” She frustratedly huffed, which you chuckled at, complying. You carefully pulled her panties off her legs, discarding them to the floor next to you. 

Seeing Rain completely bare in front of you almost made you come again. You had been waiting for this moment for months. You took a shaky breath, leaning in to place a surprisingly soft kiss onto her lips, palming at her breasts. They felt just right, the warm and soft flesh fitting perfectly into your slightly cupped hands. She moaned into your mouth, making you shiver with anticipation.

You trailed your hands lower, one settling on her hip bone, the other running between her slick folds, eliciting a sharp inhale from her. Your index and middle fingers lightly circled her clit, making her whine louder, arching her back and squirming. You pulled away from the kiss for a moment to look at her reactions, the way her brows knitted together, how her eyes fluttered shut when applying pressure to just the right spots. 

You teased her entrance with your fingers, slowly inserting one, then two fingers. It took a few tentative pumps to find the right angle to curl your fingers at. Her head fell back with a high-pitched cry, a sound you thought you would never hear her utter. You smirked at her reaction, picking up the pace, grinding your palm onto her clit as obscene squelching sounds resonated from your fingers moving inside her.

“Please… Your mouth..!” Rain mewled, sending a jolt of excitement coursing through your entire body. “Of course.” You murmured, settling yourself between her legs. You inhaled her intoxicating scent, making your head spin more than any beer you had drunk.

You dove into her folds fearlessly, your other hand gripping her thigh while the other kept moving inside her. You gave her core an earnest lick across the whole length like she had done to you, feeling her hand fly to your hair and grab onto it desperately.

“F-fuck...” She groaned as you began to lap at her, tasting every spot your tongue could reach, flicking and running across all the places that made her moan. Your fingers worked steadily as your tongue flickered over her clit, using your flat tongue to make her whole body arch against you. As you edged her closer and closer to release, her hand tightened in your hair, the slight pain turning to pleasure - it was Rain doing this to you after all.

“Y/n– I’m close.” She gasped, her legs trembling slightly. You hummed against her, ever so slightly increasing the fervor of your movements. After a beat, her hand clenched around your hair, the other grasping at the edge of the couch. “Ah- y/n!” She cried out, her walls fluttering around your fingers as the waves of pleasure crashed over her. You did what she had done to you, lightly licking at her as she came down from her high.

You timidly get up from between her legs, returning to hover on top of her. You reach out to caress her cheek, affectionately rubbing circles on her skin with your thumb.

“You did so good.” She praised, voice husky from the exertion. You smiled wide. Looking at her, flushed and breathing heavily, you felt your heart swell, knowing you were the one who made her feel like this, made her feel good. 

You carefully lowered yourself into a lying position on top of her, utterly exhausted. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as your breathing evened out.

“Will you stay the night?” She quietly, almost shyly, spoke, playing with your hair.

You nodded. “Of course.”

For a moment, you wondered if the others would worry about the two of you disappearing. But it didn’t really matter to either of you at that moment. 

✶

Thanks for reading!! Feedback is appreciated <3

[omeganronpa]

Least To Most - Likely To Say Something Embarrassing To Alpha!Reader That They'll Regret Whilst Sick With a Very High Temperature

(Including Shino, Neji, Naruto, Haku and Shikamaru)

A/N: This is lovely Amy's (@animeomegas) Christmas/Hanukkah present this year. We decided to keep it easy because she's injured still and I am busy with the attention span of a rock right now (and also incredibly sick...like ongoing sickness from last year type sick so writing is hard again) :)

And to be clear, I'm like 90% sure I did this prompt wrong so.....

Warnings: sickfic, Haku has done fucked up things hint, Shikamaru - he's his own trigger warning at this point, Neji's trauma

LEAST

Haku - Will Say Something Embarrassing but Can't Feel Embarrassment Therefore Regrets Nothing

Listen to me, Haku cannot feel embarrasment. He says what he says and he means what he says. And yes, that means any weird, disturbing, horny, or out-of-pocket thoughts that he maybe should keep to himself.

Chances are the things he's saying are things he'd say to his Alpha anyway at some point or another. He may even repeat something he said previously but with more emphasis. Haha.

His Alpha is his safe person. The one person who vowed to be with him forever, for better or worse. They are mated. Married. Haku loves and worships them in the healthiest way he can, therefore, he has no reason to feel embarrassment or regret for what he may say. He's confident that nothing will change the way his mate sees him.

His ramblings usually take a darker turn at the worst of the illness and he will admit to all the horrible things about his past with Zabuza and his clan that he tries to forget. Many times, its terrifying. Haku was a trained assassin from an early age by a missing nin. He's done things that would repel normal shinobi. He doesn't like to get into details normally but he's very chatty about it when his brain isn't controlling his mouth. He usually breaks down during these times.

When he gets better, he usually wants to talk about it all - to clear things up, to answer any questions, etc - but he isn't embarrassed nor does he regret it. As far as he's concerned, this is just him and his Alpha getting closer and them knowing him on a deeper level than before.

Haku's pretty face was damp with sweat as you pressed a cold compress to the back of his neck. He mewled, the sound hoarse from his aching throat.

You tut, trying to reign in your worry. The nurse said he'd be fine, that the medicine she gave him will break his fever soon.

Still, it was so unlike Haku to get ill.

"Alpha?" your mate whispers, his pretty eyes hazy as he blinks at you.

"I'm here sweetheart," you croon quietly back, using your free hand to pull strands of dark hair out of his face, "I'm not going anywhere.

"I...killed them..."

"Hmmm? Who?"

In your years mated to the pretty Omega, he had made you privy to his past as a child assassin picked up by Zabuza but not everything. He never gave explicit details and you never pushed, knowing that, as a shinobi yourself, some things were better left to rot until the memory faded into forgetfulness.

"The children...." Haku whimpered, tears pooling underneath his long lashes, "But...I...I couldn't...I was-" He's cut off by his own coughing - the sound somehow both wet and dry-, his weak body wracking with the force of it.

You shush him in an attempt to keep him from getting upset but he keeps going once they stop.

"I was just a kid....but I knew better..." The tears bleed over his cheeks, mingling with the sweat, "I wanted...I wanted to show Zabuza...." He coughs again but he keeps going despite it, "I was strong...so he'd keep me....A-alpha, I killed them all...they-they didn't stand a chance...."

Ignoring what the nurse had told you, you abandon the compress and pull him into a sitting position so you can hold him against you. His body shudders as he cries, his hand weakly pulling at your sleep-shirt.

"I-I'm so sorry..." he sobs, pressing his face into your throat, "Alpha..."

"I'm here, Omega," you hum, petting his wet hair, pumping out waves of calming pheromones, "I'm here."

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Naruto - Will Say Something Embarrassing But Regrets Nothing

Naruto is higher up only because he can feel embarrassment but he is also someone who says and does embarrassing things on the regular and it does not phase him. And a lot of the time, his Alpha is around when it happens so tbh, its nothing new for the relationship lol

He also really doesn't get that sick. He had Kyuubi for so long that his immune system is God-Tier even after Kyuubi is gone. If he has a fever that makes him delusional enough to just say whatever, Alpha is taking him to the hospital. His Alpha isn't really too worried about his word-vomit nonsense when they are checking him into the ER.

Naruto switches between cooing at how amazing his Alpha is and making out-of-pocket observations about fucking everything. Man goes from 'You have the prettiest eyes baby' to 'do you think they're going to take my penis?' really fast. "oh look at that, it looks like *says something incredibly insulting" is very common too.

He may feel a little sheepish if he says something that is incredibly outlandish but unless it caused severe trauma to someone in the vicinity, he does not care.

Honestly, if he gets sick enough to talk out of his ass, he is just going to laugh about it with his Alpha when he's better. Some of it will end up in their relationship's long list of inside jokes. He won't get embarrassed over something like this. He won't regret it either because as far as he's concerned, he's done worse to make an ass of himself XD

Shikamaru - Will Not Say Anything Embarrassing, Therefore Has Nothing to Regret (Only with his Alpha Tho)

Shikamaru is in the middle of the list because he actually won't say anything while delirious from a fever to his Alpha. Why?

Because the man is sleeping the fever off. He isn't saying anything because hes likely not conscious enough to say anything. He will wake up long enough to eat and take medicine but his coping mechanism for illness is neverending naptime so when he's done, hes going back to bed. His Obsession is there so he doesn't need to do shiiiiittttttt.

This comes with a caveat however. The above only applies to Alpha. If his Obsession is with him while he is sick or recovering, he's fine.

HE WILL - AND I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH - MAKE A FOOL OUT OF HIMSELF IF SOMEONE ELSE IS TAKING OVER HIS CARE AND HIS OBSESSION IS NOT IN HIS EYESIGHT WHEN HE WAKES UP. Because then he is making a whole ass of himself both because he's a little delirious and because he is worried about where his mate has gone.

Shikaku loves to bring up the time he took over watching Shikamaru for an hour so Alpha could run to the shop for more soup and Shikamaru woke up. Loves to go on and on and on about Shikamaru went from 'why the fuck are you here' to 'MY MATE IS PERFECT AND AMAZING' to '*sobs* I drove them away. I didn't even get to see them walk away too. How could I fuck it up so bad I don't even get to look at their butt when they walk away from me forever?' Harps on how, when Alpha walked back into the room, Shikamaru immediately stopped and passed right the fuck back out.

You were gone for twenty minutes. Twenty. Minutes.

Not even full minutes.

More like 19 minutes and 46 seconds.

Yoshino grins behind her hand as she sits at the dining room table reading a book. You could hear the muffled argument happening upstairs. You wince.

All the progress on healing Shikamaru's sore throat was likely gone now.

"How bad?"

"Not too bad but you should probably get in there before my son passes out from exertion. He tried to escape twice and also wont take his medicine."

You sigh, dropping your grocery haul onto the counter and making your way up the stairs towards the noise, "Of course he did. Of course he isn't."

A very loud, concerning thump followed by shattered glass stops you in the middle of the stairway. You look back at your mother-in-law with exasperation, "For people that can literally control people via their shadows, they seem to very much like restraining people the hard way. Maybe things wont get broken as often if they just....did that."

Yoshino snorts, "I think they just like to tussle."

The voices get louder as you approach the door. You can't make out any of the muffled yelling but you know that there is a physical struggle now by the thumping.

Taking a deep breath, you open it.

Everything goes silent.

Shikaku's holding Shikamaru around his torso, doing his absolute best to wrangle his incredibly ill and sweaty son back into the nest you built for him. Shikamaru, in the middle of a struggle, stares wide-eyed at you.

Shikaku looks relieved to see you, dropping his now limp son into the nest. Big brown eyes don't break from yours as Shikamaru resettles himself in the nest, mindlessly opening his mouth and swallowing the pills Shikaku drops into it. His face is bright red, his clothes damp with sweat.

It takes a few more solid seconds of eye contact before Shikamaru leans back and immediately falls back to sleep.

Shikaku shakes his head at you, "I'm starting to think I need to send out obligatory apology cards to every Nara that married into the clan."

Shino - Says Something Embarrassing and Regrets It

Shino does not handle being sick well. He never has. He requires a lot of doting on when he's ill because being sick makes him feel vulnerable. When he's vulnerable, he's emotional. When he's too emotional, it can get very weird and stranglely volatile????

He gets cute-aggression often. This is amplified when he is ill. Suddenly he's saying things like "You are so appealing to me. Why? Because your skin feels like home when you touch me and I want to bite it off a little" and "I want to kiss you until we die from suffocation."

Sometimes, in the worst of it, will just hold your hand and tell you a random memory of his childhood. Mostly, they are good stories. Some are not so good. Some are him divulging his deepest worries and concerns. TBH his illness is the perfect chance for his mate to figure out how to improve their relationship.

When Shino comes out of it, he will immediately try to curl into a ball and stew in how embarrassed he is. Once or twice, its brought him to tears from the intense feelings of humilation and regret.

All his Alpha has to do is make it into something sweet. A little "Oh well, I thought it was lovely that you shared that with me" or a "you are so cute, pretty Omega" or "I love that you trust me so much" to make him feel less horrible about the whole thing. Just remind him that you are there to take care of him in sickness (emphasize this) and in health and therefore its nothing to be embarrassed about. He's still embarrassed but the sting is now gone.

Neji - Says Something Embarrassing, Regrets Everything and Wants to Die.

Just fucking kill him.

Neji is very strict with his health - he has to be given his clan did everything they could to fuck up his body- so when he develops a fever that has his lips moving freely, he wants to stop existing. Both because he's upset that he allowed himself to get sick and also because he regrets his inability to keep his inside thoughts inside.

Especially because he says incredibly horny things when he's delirious from fever. Things he usually has to scold his inner voice for thinking in the first place. He will get a little handsy too.

No one will ever believe you if you tried to talk about it but still, Neji would never forgive you if you ever mention any of what he says or does while sick to anyone. He doesn't even want you to mention it to him. Not even to console him. He wants to pretend it never happened. (Insert obligatory 'Fuck the Hyuuga clan for creating this pretty princess with a mental illness because yes, they fucked him up so bad that he can't even acknowledge any sickness or weakness without wanting snarl and bite and ruin his relationships with everyone')

He does allow a running 'joke' though because every time he gets sick, it needs to be documented with the doctors. Its "Neji never gets sick" where you can reference anything about an illness he had (symptoms, medication, etc) in conversation with him/the doctor as long as you follow it with, "You know, if you ever got sick" or "hypothetically, if you got a fever...." He needs to disassociate from the embarrassment of the whole event.

"I...Alpha," Neji asks blearily as he sits up in bed. His fever broke late last night, something you had celebrated internally. Neji would not take to you outwardly expressing relief over the end of his rather...unusual behavior.

"Yes my prince?"

"Did..." his face pinks, his clear opal eyes widening in horror as the last few days replay in his very keen mind's eye, "Did I say..."

"Yes." You take pity on him by not letting him repeat it. You knew the second that it came out of his mouth - slurred and affectionate and the tiniest bit horny - that Neji would either shut down or burn down the whole village.

And you weren't about to fuck up his progress in therapy.

Time for a distraction.

"You must feel icky my love," you say with a soft smile as he continues to stare into the abyss in horror, "I ran a nice bath for you. Lets clean off the gross and I'll change the sheets."

"Oh-okay," he stutters.

The bath is successful in keeping him from spiraling but he does not allow you to leave him to change the sheets.

No, he insists on running another bath with fresh, clean water to soak with you in.

Skinship and all that.

"I will set fire to you, this house, and myself," he murmurs sleepily into your shoulder , curling up beside you in the tub, "In that order." His hand trails lazily back and forth over your chest, dipping under the water just to feel as much as you as he can.

"I know pretty, I know."

MOST