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actuallyevilgay · 9 months ago

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The Apathy (Part 5)

Astarion x Male Reader/Tav

DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove don’t eat. Please read my about before replying. Content: Ascended Astarion x Male tav, this is post epilogue.

Summary: Astarion is scheming a plot to get the guards off Tav's back. Tav is dealing with weird feelings at the tavern. Reminders: Astarion is the vampire ascendant, Tav is not a heroic figure. Contains headcanons for several characters, contains headcanons for illithid brain alteration but not evolving. Tav uses daggers and magic. Astarion is an Arcane Trickster Rogue. I created several npcs. Some Neverwinter lore is mentioned but might not be lore friendly. Content Warnings: Tav suffering from depression / ptsd, self-neglect. A/N: Heyy I post to ao3 now too! it is under username actualevil. It's been a while but I found some energy to work on it c: There's a lot- hope you enjoy!

.......

‘’Please.. I’ve told you everything already- I confessed! Why are you doing this?’’

‘’Confessed? You committed worse than a crime. You put your hands on him.’’

The once so proud and corrupted guardsman was reduced to a shaking mess, tied to a chair. The bruises on his body left him marked and mostly discoloured, you’d think he was a blueberry, if it weren’t for the fact that he had been turned into a spawn. Undead. Pale.

‘’Tell me, pig. What makes you think you’re- Oh, so charming? What gave you the impression you had the authority to do whatever you wanted to whomever you wanted?’’ Astarion hovered above him, boot resting on his victim’s knee.

‘’I…’’ Almost in a shameful tone, the guardsman is compelled to speak his truth. ‘’I thought myself irresistible, for my age.. My hair and beard alone being my proudest features-’’

Before he could continue on about how infatuated he was with his own face and body, Astarion laughed to himself, as if he had been told the most ridiculous joke in history.

‘’Your hair?’’ It took a moment for him to come down from his laughter. ‘’Well, if I had to pick something.. Hmm.’’ His thoughts trailed off, kicking the kneecap of the man, causing him to fall on his back in the hair. ‘’What a waste.’’ Astarion mumbled to himself. ‘’Time should be spent pondering about more important things, but if you’re that attached to it, I suppose… Vand could shave it all off.’’

While he rambled, he spinned Tav’s curved blade in his hand. ‘’Eyebrows included.’’ He eyed the guardsman, not able to see his expression from this position.

Astarion walked back so he could lift up the chair, bringing his face close to the guardsman. He drinked in the fear on the man’s face, and his smirk grew. ‘’How- How would one ever grow tired of expressions like these?’’ He let out a joyful sigh as he dropped him to the floor again.

‘’Perhaps my old, old, buried.. Dead and gone- Master, understood one thing at least.’’ As it rolled out of his mouth, a wash of disgust flew over him. ‘’But no, I am not that plain. There are other uses for you.’’ He turned around to watch Vandelion lift the man up in his chair again, holding a shaving knife. ‘’I could beat you up some more as satisfying as that is, but I’d rather see you put to death by the person you wronged.’’ He pointed the curved dagger towards the man’s neck. ‘’Luckily for you, I can just compel you to take the stage yourself, seeing as you’re a pretty good actor already.. But what if..’’

He paused, pacing around while unsheathing Orin’s other weapon from his side, a short sword. ‘’Poor, poor, old guardsman- Corrupted, greedy. Shameful. He tried to commit one of the worst crimes imaginable on an innocent, then frame the victim as an attempted murderer.. How unfortunate for him, that the victim’s friends came to his hospital bed and killed him- Oh! But it doesn’t end there..’’ He twists the blade in his hand. ‘’The man woke up from his grave, undead. He wants revenge..’’ Astarion crosses the dagger and blade together, pausing a moment.

‘’And when he tries to exact his revenge, out in the open, in public.. His guilt compels him to save his soul- to confess to all his sins in public view..’’ He lifts the blades up, pointing them to the ceiling. ‘’Theatrical, but who will give the finishing blow..? Your victim? The public? Or yourself..’’ He turns his head to Tyselius entering the room, who had been too captured by his master’s performance to speak up.

Astarion sheathes the short sword before putting the dagger away as well. ‘’Hmm.’’ He paces around, wanting to finish his monologue dramatically.

‘’Such a hard choice, I’d rather leave it up to the future audience.’’ He waves his hand, gesturing to Vandelion that he was finished speaking and could now shave the man’s head.

Tyselius makes a bow, before revealing his find. ‘’I’ve searched over the area, the inn’s keeper described Tav’s appearance as a dishevelled young beggar.. The trail went cold, but then I found boots with the same scent as the dagger tossed away in some fishmonger shed.’’ He revealed the scraps that remained of Tav’s old boots. Astarion was nearly overcome with emotion at the sight, reaching out before backtracking his hand. They were dirty and covered in mold at this point. ‘’That can’t be good..’’ He muttered.

‘’I’ve followed the trail further, but it grows cold every time in the same area. A fountain in the middle of one of the city’s business squares. It’s a very busy area.’’ Ty put the boots down, the smell was getting to him. ‘’..Should I toss them?’’

‘’No.. I need..’’ Astarion paused. ‘’Just put them in the corner for now, just in case.’’

Ty winched as he grabbed the boots again, slowly walking over to a corner while Astarion collected his thoughts. He looked back to the dagger. ‘’Soon, I’ll be reunited with my other, just like these two blades..’’ The spark in his eyes returned, glowing with obsession. ‘’Forgive me, my love..’’

The guardsman listened in still, even in his miserable position he dared to plot ahead, taking in account all the information provided here. He wouldn’t be able to withstand the commands of his new master, but perhaps the situation could still be set in his favour.. He just had to be smart. For now, he would sob and cry as Vandellion shaved him, sniffling pathetically.

‘’My living yet undead lungs are in need of fresh air.’’ Astarion spoke again after a long silence. ‘’To plot ahead, get all the right pieces in place.. I need to locate Tav.’’ His scheming mind snickered at the play he had begun to orchestrate.

With a deep inhale, the elf focussed his collective memory, recalling the distinct scent of Tav’s blood. If Tyselius could not find the rest of the trail with just the smell of moldy boots, then it was up to Astarion himself.

He didn’t plan on meeting Tav directly however. That reunion had to wait, he didn’t know what state Tav was in.. And so, the vampire ascendant disguised himself again, this time taking the guise of a young handsome tiefling with curly black locks as he climbed the stairs to the main floor. He could hear the corrupt guardsman whine while closing the cellar door behind him.

Operating in Neverwinter had some pros and cons, while he couldn’t bestow his protection over the city the same way he could in baldur’s gate, his spawn did not have to worry.

Keeping a low profile and sticking to the shadows was a skill Astarion was all too familiar with. His bodyguards and assassins were essentially trained with those skills in mind.

Vandelion and Tyselius could operate just fine without their sunwalking regent during the day.. Something tells him they’re positively enjoying the work he left them behind with.

For now, he strolled in his disguise, tracing back the trail Tyselius spoke of. From the fishery to the town square with the fountain.

There were several town squares with fountains in neverwinter, but he went directly to the most populated one. From there, he took a minute to observe his disguise in the reflection of the ice water.

It wasn’t that long ago that running water once burned through his body like acid, and now a wading river was merely pleasantry on hot summer days. It being winter, it could look strange to the average pedestrian to dip your fingers in ice cold water absentmindedly.

Sniff. Astarion takes a deep breath. Ah! There it is- The trail Ty spoke of. It was faint, a couple of weeks old. But the distinct flavour of Tav’s sweat filled Astarion’s head with memories, it was overwhelming. The emotions nearly punched him out of his disguise spell. No! Hold.. Think..

Adrenaline, and.. Other hormones coated the smell. Fear.

Tav’s sweat had been coated in fear when he walked here.. Or ran? Astarion paced around a bit and sat down on the fountain’s bench, observing the snowflakes that fell from the sky.

He closed his eyes to observe the trail in his inner vision, seeing the faint silhouette of Tav change colour in the back of his mind.

The colour changed a few more times, only to come back to a dull, blueish grey, a stillness you would only be able to observe during the hours of dusk in the evening.

Once the blueish grey became so still that it was nearly invisible, would another silhouette appear.. That of someone the size of a gnome.. Or halfling. Dwarf? No, there was a distinct earthy but flowery smell, it had to be a halfling.

The silhouette touches Tav’s dull grey colour, and his silhouette stills even more, shrinking.

Any emotion or hormonal response that lingered in the trail of his sweat faded the second the halfling touched his hand..

Astarion tried to focus on the smell of this person, only to see it walking off with their tiny arm stretched outwards, pulling whatever invisible glimmer of Tav’s silhouette remained towards a different direction.

When his eyes opened again, he had returned to the busy festive view of Neverwinter. People flocked around, loud sounds.. Children screaming and playing. Parents yelling, and merchants trying to keep up with growing lines of impatient customers.

Amongst the chaos, of course- even a Professional as Ty would potentially lose track of the subject he had to trace.. But Astarion was from a different Caliber, a Vampire lord, nay! The vampire ascendant. His senses were superior, above any spawn and meagre vampire lord.

Now.. Back to the hunt.

…….

Everything was going well, the bedrest certainly did you good. Jilvy’s clientele, however.. Had grown a lot over the weekend. And so, rush hour became a consistent thing.

With the expanding horizons of your patron’s business, came more chattier customers. Your short-witted and quiet responses for some reason gained you some popularity.

While the storm calmed, Jilvy had run out of wares due to some shortage of ingredients, thus leaving you to man the business on your own for a couple of hours while she went out to get fresh supplies.

Rush hour came and went, with a lack of cookies and snacks to sell, most folks lost quick interest beyond the occasional tea-crazy regulars. The quiet made you realise how much tension had built in your lower back so you took the moment to stretch.

‘’He’s so handsome.’’ The muttering came from a group of ladies settled in a corner right across the bar. With their eyes digging in your back you could swear you pulled a muscle and winched. ‘’Oof.’’ That little awkward display earned you a few giggles, making you feel nervous.

You weren’t sure how to respond to all the flirting that took place, shrugging it off and trying to stay professional.. It made you wonder if Jilvy’s intentions for hiring you were less and less motherly, and more business oriented. She definitely was thriving off how useful you made yourself.. But she mothered you too, pushing you back to take more than enough breaks when your body wore you down.

‘’It’s getting late.’’ You mumbled to yourself, checking back on the dishes that had piled up. Another couple of rubs and they were dry and ready to be used again.

The bell of the tavern door rang everytime someone left and entered the building, making you perk up instinctively.

‘’Certainly not late enough for another cup of tea?’’ A handsome, human man around your physical age had approached the bar. ‘’I swear, this has got to be the cutest tavern I’ve ever seen. I’m parched for a hot drink.’’

His blue eyes made you stall, unsure whether he was flirting or just looking for conversation.

A weird, flowery feeling came over your gut. ‘’Oh, right, what’s your poison? I mean- It’s not alcoholic- Or poisonous.. Uhm..’’ You stuttered over your words, earning more giggles from the ladies in the corner.

‘’Surprise me.’’ He didn’t take too long while looking at the menu.

‘’Uh..’’ It gave you pause.

‘’I’m-’’ You wanted to tell him this wasn’t your brightest skill. ‘’I mean, Are you-’’ You paused again. ‘’Sir, you could be allergic to mint.. I’m sorry-’’ All the while his big beautiful eyes looked at you. Why were you being weird?!

‘’Oh! How considerate..’’ Your flustered attitude seemed to have an effect on him, his sudden confidence withdrawing. He looked over the menu, blushing. ‘’Winterberry special.. Now that sounds immaculate.’’

It didn’t take you long to fulfil the order and pour his drink, popping in the corresponding bag of leaves and herbs in the hot water.

He paid for his drink and sat at the bar, quietly flicking a spoon with honey through his drink while your eyes drifted with the motion.

You shook your head, unable to discern the meaning behind your emotions. Anxiety? Yes, certainly.. But beyond that empty overwhelming and loud noise that thrummed in the back of your head, was a warmth.

This man was attractive, very attractive, and it was having an effect on you. The feeling seemed to be somewhat mutual. He avoided your gaze notably.

You clutch the fabric on your chest as you turn around to sort your freshly cleaned cutlery.

Whatever this feeling is, it’s kind of nice.

The warmth unfortunately dissipated soon after, like a weight came back to shove it down your guts. And then, nothing. A quiet.

Only for the quiet to be distilled in a throb as you turned your head back to glance at the human while he took a sip. He nearly choked when your eyes met.

Your own identity had been a mystery for some time, but this was somewhat familiar. Attraction. You liked men, and you liked men liking you back. A piece of who you were had been returned to you, giving back an influx of emotions you didn’t know you were capable of.

It made you fidget with your apron, quietly counting the minutes it took for him to finish his drink and eventually leave.

The sensation dropped again, a certain gloominess overcame you when he said his friendly goodbyes and left, the door’s bell echoed through your skill.

There was a unanimous disappointed ‘’D’aww.’’ From the group of ladies who had watched and observed the entire spectacle, all the while quietly finishing their drinks.

Given the hour and decrease of customers, it was probably a good idea to start wrapping up for the day. Jilvy seemed to be taking her sweet time.. You weren’t too worried about her, she probably got caught up in a conversation and was networking on the streets.

The last of the regular customers left, loudly giving their goodbyes and complimenting you on your work ethic. Now the tavern was empty, only with the memory of the doorbell ringing in the back of your head.

There was a long silence before you could feel something shift around the place, only to sit itself in front of you.

A flash of bright orange hair dye reminded you of the first time you met the holiday regular Gale. He wasn’t around today, but this person.. This was Dharma.

‘’Oh, I didn’t hear you, I was preparing to close.. I’m unfortunately still out of snacks, but there’s enough hot water left for a single cup of tea.’’ Your words came out almost robotic, rehearsed. Fast, stumbling.

Dharma didn’t respond, she placed her elbows on the bar and rested her head on the palms of her hands.

‘’Okay..’’ You looked dazed, a little confused. Usually people wouldn’t shut up after your first sentence. The quiet stare continued, leaving you to look at the door and ponder how Jilvy could take so long.

‘’I’ve been observing you.’’ Dharma confidently spoke, her tone was formal, almost like an authority figure.. Unlike the crazy, nervous tone she had around Gale when she followed him into the tavern that first evening. ‘’You seem to be a strapping young man, and.. If I’m correct, a bachelor?’’ She leaned in a little further as she said this.

‘’Do you have a girlfriend?’’ Her eyes sparked with something strange, but it didn’t take a hold of you, she blinked in confusion.

You could feel a strange energy thrum in the back of your head again, giving you a flashback towards that hellish moment with the guardsman..

Yes.. You stabbed him.. Felt his blood pour over you, a sick sense of satisfaction alongside it. But there was also terror, the need to run away from the violence. With that well of power sparked an explosion, shooting you out of the inn and into the water.

The flashback ended, and you could see Dharma’s eyes stare right through you intensely. ‘’What?’’ Your response was a near whisper.

‘’Do you have a girlfriend?’’ Dharma repeated, staring you down almost predatory.

You wanted to say no, but her advances were putting you on edge.

Without much further thought behind it, remembering the strange breeze you’ve been feeling during the night.. The sound of rats running around in the wardrobe near your bed, and the storage cupboard in the hallway.. No rat is human-sized. And there was no door bell to alert you of Dharma’s entry into the building just now.. Perhaps that would explain how Jilvy ran out of food so fast?

‘’I- I have a boyfriend.’’ In the back of your head, your mind recalled the brief encounter you had with the beautiful man earlier. Hoping that if she did indeed sneak around here, she might have observed your awkwardness earlier.

But.. That didn’t seem to change her mind. ‘’It’s Gale, isn’t it? He’s here.. To sneak around and.. Cheat on me.’’

‘’What?’’ You worded in disbelief. No, she didn’t come here to stalk you.. Of course not. This weirdo was convinced the wizard was here for you! But why? You never even talked to him. And- Cheat? Oh gods.. This woman is nuts.

‘’My charm spell didn’t work on you, but that doesn’t matter. I’ll remove you, and he’ll return to Waterdeep. Sit tight, it won’t take long!’’ While she spoke the words in a cheerful tone, and moved her hands to cast a spell, the thrumming energy that was building up earlier burst out of you, causing you to dash forward with psionic energy and swing right out of the door.

‘’I’m going to find my boyfriend- Bye!’’ Is all you could utter, hoping it would keep her from chasing you down in public..

Certainly the guard would not take kindly to an attempted public murder attempt, only for you to quickly remember that you have done the same yourself not too long ago.

Shit.

Without a weapon to defend yourself, all you could rely on were these strange bursts of power, bursts that gave you horrible headaches and made you lose sight of where you were walking..

You took your chances and avoided the guards, running down a street, stumbling only to see Dharma chase after you. She was much slower, and thus you kept running.

A few turns later brought you to an empty alleyway, familiar enough for you to know where you were. Just a couple of turns and you could hide in a busy town square.. However, seeing as it was getting late, hiding in the crowd might not be ideal. There weren’t enough people walking around at this hour to get lost between.

Turning your head around and round while catching a breath, you got spooked by the slightest hint of orange in your near vicinity, only to realise it was just a carpet hanging on someone’s window. Perhaps you had shaken her off for now.

Then, as you regained your balance, your eyes with those of a tiefling. Earlier you’d hoped to run into the handsome man again, but the tiefling looked like.. An adventurer. Perhaps he’d be more understanding of your situation.

The tiefling however, had frozen in place at the sight of you, causing you to freeze as well.

This sensation wasn’t pleasant, but you had to fight through it, Dharma could enter the alley any moment.

You could call out for help, but no words would leave your mouth, so you awkwardly strutted over to him, whispering loudly. ‘’Please- For a moment- Could you pretend to be my boyfriend?’’ You grit your teeth at how awkward the request must sound, looking over your shoulder, wary of the colour orange.

The Tiefling had a strangely calm aura around him, his shocked and startled expression faded and gave you a familiar, warm smile. He was about to speak when you could smell the arcane energy of whatever spell the woman was holding.

‘’THERE YOU ARE! You fiance-stealing-piece of shit-’’ Dharma’s voice rattled on about whatever insane delusions she had come up with the past week. You took your chance and hid behind the Tiefling, who tensed up as you brushed against him.

‘’What seems to be the problem, miss?’’ The tiefling’s voice was stern, mature. He kept up an act. ‘’Why are you chasing my darling around town?’’ Darling. That word made you feel weird.

‘’Wait.. Does he have a boyfriend? Oh.’’ Dharma lowered her hands, her magic waning.

‘’So you weren’t..’’ Dharma paused, trying to process this new information.

‘’This all seems to be a big misunderstanding.’’ Dharma smiled with a teethy expression, stumbling. ‘’I thought he was.. No. Sorry.’’ She grew quiet.

Then she pulled her head upwards, almost in a sense of clarity. ‘’You don’t look like you’re dating, though. I’ve never seen you at the tavern before.. This is.. a ruse!’’ The mage put her hands back together, ready to load up whatever insane spell she was ready to cast earlier.

‘’I assure you, you don’t want to do that.’’ The Tiefling confidently placed his hand around yours, interlocking your fingers. You squeezed his hand, trembling.

‘’Murdering a young couple out on the streets.. Wouldn’t that be a crime?’’ His voice.. It was teasing, challenging. And his eyes, malice. He wanted her to try.

To give him a reason to kill her out in the open. But.. He kept his composure. There was intelligence behind the quiet aggression.

For a stranger you’ve only just met, he seemed pretty heroic to you. It did concern you a little though.. What if.. The second Dharma was dealt with, the tiefling would turn on you? It’d be back to running off.. No more tavern.. No more Jilvy.. No more bed.. Just ice cold neverwinter and guards you could not trust. Hide.. Please let me hide.. You thought.

Then, he gave you a reassuring squeeze, the tension disappeared. ‘’Have you nothing to say for yourself, mage?’’ The tiefling spoke up again. Dharma began to mumble incomprehensibly. Her spell dissipated again. She started pulling at her orange dyed hair, then turned around.. And just walked off.

You let out a loud wheeze of air, realising you held your breath earlier. On reflex, you pull your hand away and stumble, leaning on the wall of the alley. ‘’Fuck.’’

The tiefling turns to you, with a worried look. ‘’Are you alright, T- … Terribly sorry.. Take your time.’’ his stutter caught you off guard, almost as if he was about to speak your name.

You took a few deep breaths, ‘’Thank you,’’ holding on to the wall behind you, ‘’I’m grateful-’’ And then you turn around and just.. Unwind whatever bile had risen in your stomach and release it to the cold snow. ‘’.. There goes my lunch.’’ You mutter as you wipe your mouth.

….

It’s Tav! As the scene had unfolded in front of him, he almost did not recognize his dearest treasure. He looked out of breath, scared. The scent of his adrenaline had led Astarion straight to him.

He wasn’t as dishevelled as Astarion thought he would be.. Tidied up.. But, thinner. His hair was a little longer than he’d remembered. And his eyes had lost some of their once so rich colour.

He was excited.. And frightened, when he stumbled over towards him asking for help. That was all it took for Astarion to keep on his mask and pretend to be this strong willed and helpful Tiefling adventurer..

When the insane wizard walked off, he quietly cursed the fires in his mind that craved to kill her on the spot.. No, he couldn’t just kill at random without understanding the situation.

Everything was going well.. And then Tav threw up his lunch from the shock. He wanted to hold him, pat his back, tell him everything was going to be alright.. But right now, he wasn’t Astarion. He was some random tiefling adventurer, so he had to act the part.

He needed to know where Tav had been hiding all this time.

‘’Nasty.. I would’ve done the same if I was in your position.’’ He turned his disguised face to look at the footsteps Dharma left behind in the snow. ‘’I mean the vomiting, walking up to strangers and asking them to pretend to be their boyfriend though..? An unusual call for help. What was she after?’’ Astarion eyed Tav as he leaned on the wall, trying to balance himself.

‘’I don’t know.. She’s nuts.’’ He paused, recollecting his thoughts. ‘’She’s some student that chased after her teacher into the tavern I work at.’’

‘’And.. I take it she was stalking this teacher?’’ Astarion quickly read into the situation with the new context.

‘’Yes, she was practically begging him to marry him.. I think after my boss sent her away, she must’ve snuck into my room somehow and hid there for .. Weeks? Gods.. She was plotting to kill me.’’

From the strange rant Dharma had earlier, she likely convinced herself she was going to marry this teacher.. He probably was a regular customer.. Tav is wearing an apron. He works at the front of the bar in a tavern, then. It all comes together..

‘’She was plotting to kill me..’’ Tav repeated, sinking to the snowy stone floor. His facial expression contorted with one of fear and withdrawal.

‘’Hold on,’’ Astarion reached out with his hand. ‘’I’ll stick around as long as you need. Talk to me.’’ Tav quietly took his hand and allowed him to pull him up.

‘’Okay.’’

Tav guided him down the street, holding his hand tightly for a moment as they walked a bit, he tensed up and released Astarion’s hand. ‘’Sorry-’’

‘’It’s alright. You work at a tavern?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’You smell awfully fruity though, are you sure?’’

‘’Oh, it’s.. It’s not the kind that serves alcohol. I pour tea.’’

‘’Wouldn’t that make it a teahouse..?’’

‘’No-no. More like a tiny restaurant, but operated like a tavern I guess.. There’s a bar.’’

‘’That sounds like a teahouse.’’

‘’Well my boss says it's a tavern, so.. I think it’s a tavern..?’’

The awkward silence cut in, making Astarion withdraw from his usual cool and get lost in Tav’s eyes. He definitely changed, but he hadn’t aged. The clothes he was wearing were concealing the loss of weight, his hair was messy but it wasn’t dirty. His hands were covered in bandages from small cuts, the kind you get from peeling potatoes.

He had been here working all this time.. Forgetting about Baldur’s gate, forgetting about him.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have worried so much.. No. Tav was in danger just now!

He didn’t seem happy at all. Astarion could smell the hormones in his sweat, and combine that reading with his expression. Behind all the masking and fearful spikes of adrenaline was a stilling emptiness, something familiar.

The chill of illithid magic that he had used during their adventure resonated off of him, quietly. Subtly. Psionic magicks.

Netherse magic, a remainder.. There’s no tadpole left in his head. There couldn’t be. He’d have transformed long ago. Whatever brain-altering the tadpoles he’d absorbed have done, it left a mark.

‘’Oh SHIT- SHIT! I left the door unlocked- Jilvy could come back any moment-’’ Tav erupted, turning around and about to wander off. ‘’Sorry- I’m sorry, and thanks so much again! I’ll figure this out-’’ He sputtered, running off and not giving Astarion a chance to ask where he worked.

But that wasn’t a problem, he got Tav’s fresh scent now. It was only a matter of time..

And he had so many things to plot ahead.

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princess-tulip-writes · 1 year ago

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Genre: fluff / suggestive ig

Summary: Ever since Nesta met you, her cold heart warmed for you until it melted into a mushy puddle of affection. Especially, when her baby is feeling sleepy…

A/n: wrote this for a very special girl’s birthday. Happy birthday @redbleedingrose, I love you 💋

“C’mer, baby. Let mommy hold you.”

Nesta smiled softly at you, and tilted her head as her arms opened for you to curl into. It only took moments before you were paddling across the library and crawling into her lap like she requested. A loving glimmer in her eye caught your attention as you laid your head on her breast.

“You’re so pretty, my lovely girl, such a beautiful baby I have.” She cooed at you, placing her hand on your cheek and softly stroking the skin with a small smile on her lips.

“Thank you, mommy.” You replied to her compliment before turning your head and kissing her palm affectionately.

The action caused her heart to warm, and a grin to spread on her flushed cheeks. Her eyes fell on your lips, making her breath hitch with all of the things she would rather have those pretty lips do than stay empty.

Her thumb swiped your bottom lip gently, picturing how they would look with a pert nipple between them, preferably her’s and soon because they ached for your warm, wet mouth. Sure, you did this already this morning but she wanted it now as well. She couldn’t help her desires, you just looked so pretty suckling happily on her tits.

Without a second thought, she was already tugging down the neck of her dress and freed her breast for you, revealing her hard rosy bud awaiting your mouth to welcome it.

You blinked slowly as you mindlessly began to reach for it, licking the bud once before enveloping it into your mouth and sucking softly. Although this was very enjoyable for her, it was like euphoria for you to be wrapped in her arms and nursed like her good little girl.

A satisfied moan left her lips as your tongue flicked over her nipple softly and your cheeks hollowed.

“Just like that.” She encouraged. “You look so pretty feeding off mommy, sweetheart.”

Your eyes fluttered shut, falling sleepy like usual, and Nesta took it upon her to start humming you to sleep now but not before kissing your forehead gingerly as a wordless confession of her love and adoration for you.

Acts like this weren’t uncommon with Nesta given she was no good at expressing her feelings, even with you. Yet every time she did, it caused your belly to warm uncontrollably and your heart to slow calmly. She may not be good with words, but at least she’s trying to get used to the affection thing, and she’s doing such a good job at it for someone who lacked it her whole human life.

She believes it’s because of you. From the moment she met you, she knew you were pure and so full of good that her poison could never, and would never, touch you as long as she could help it. It was difficult, especially on the days when you decided to be a merciless brat, but she managed to do just fine with you. At least, you thought so anyhow.

When your sucking gradually slowed to a consistent and calm rhythm and your breathing slowed against her skin, the Valkyrie stroked your cheek with a feather touch one last time, appreciating your sleeping beauty for a long moment to herself before picking her book back up and resumed reading her novel.

#nesta 🦋#nesta archeron #nesta x fem!reader #nesta fluff #nesta x reader #nesta x reader smut #nesta x fem!reader smut #nesta x reader fluff #nesta x fem!reader fluff #acotar x reader #acotar blurb #acotar fluff #acotar x reader fluff

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theblogof-rassilon · 8 months ago

Note

Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.

I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.

Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?

It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.

It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.

I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.

Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.

But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.

I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.

At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.

And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.

Goodbye, Rassilon

- Omega xoxo

I- I don't know what to say.

Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.

But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.

Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.

That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.

If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.

I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.

Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.

#sorry it took me so long to get here #this is truly the most incredible ask I have ever received #ask #omega #of rassilon #answer #banthony #borusa #also. a little obsessed with the idea of a once-enraged ex lover returning to being obsessed with the guy who LITERALLY MURDERED HIM only t #end up wanting the best for him and trying to match make him. And instead of choosing to encourage the love of a fellow obsessive sub who #is clearly in an unhealthy relationship with Rassy (Borusa)#ergo mirroring his own lost relaitonship #he chooses to encourage the love of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was basically a MEME brought to life only to annoy Rassy #idk what you call it... character development?? BUt this is certainly wonderful and intriguing and hilarious #seriously. you are brilliant #also I think it's important to mention that the mian reason this took me so long to get to was because the first time I read it I opened it #at school and burst out laughing in front of everyone #and I haven't been able to answer this without laughing uproariously for so so long #and then I took the break and then I left town for a bit #but I'm back and I'm still laughing so so much and yet here we are #I did it!!!#also I hope Borusa sees this and gets mad and finally leaves this bitch (rassy)#he deserves better #find later #omega omega omega

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violetgreeneao3 · 2 months ago

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Fic Graveyard 🪦🕊️

Herein lies a collection of my Abandoned/DNF’d fics, as per someone’s CC request. I have no current plans of continuing/writing these fics so read at the risk of your sanity. (I would rather DIE than let anyone see these trash fire monstrosities in their current forms; I would have to completely restart if I ever wanted to post these concepts 😭)

I also decided to omit the official names I had planned b/c i may use them for other fics and don't want to cause confusion.

The order of these have no meaning, just random. I included notes for each fic with bonus info, why I DNF’d, how far I got, or other ramblings.

1. After the disbandment of izone, each member goes on their respective path, some together, some apart. Four specific members join two different groups— IVE and Le Sesserafim. Or at least what had been IVE and Le Sesserafim. but what happens when Starship is absorbed by HYBE?

Condition: This is one of the only idolverses I’ve ever written. I wrote about ~12k words of this over a year ago.

* Honestly the premise of this one is still appealing to me, but as I collected “dead” fics for this list, I used a certain criteria to decide whether to keep it as a *maybe I’ll write this later* or to toss it. One of those criterion were “Can I think of a good ending?”.

Good doesn't necessarily mean happy, just something I would personally be satisfied with, and the reason most of these fics are on here is because the answer was No—I had absolutely no idea how I would end this fic, so I probably would never finish writing it, either.

2. Assassins AU: wherein Yujin and Wonyoung are both separately tasked with killing a target, like any other run-of-the-mill job for the notorious assassins, except there’s one catch—Their targets are each other. Finally, they’ve met their match.

I was debating whether to add a prior relationship between them or to have them be wayward souls—strangers that feel oddly drawn to one another. This fic was lowkey an excuse to write a knife-to-throat/gun-to-head scene (or sex scene) with LOTS of tension, but the urge to do so passed and I ended up leaving it as a draft.

3. ANOTHER Assassin AU wherein Annyeongz are from rival families that have a blood feud.

I planned for Wonyoung to seduce Yujin while knowing who she was as a sort of “spy”. She lied about her name and developed close a relationship with Yujin, but when her family found out she was faced with a choice: Betray Yujin or betray her family. She chose Yujin, but unfortunately Yujin found out who she really was before she got the chance to confess on her own terms.

*Fic devolves from there, this is all I recall from a brief skim of it*

Condition: Wrote 56k words of this a little over a year ago, abandoned because I didn’t know where to take the story (from what I saw scrolling through it was AWFUL… please trust me)

4. Vampire AU: Yujin and Wonyoung are high school sweethearts, but one day Yujin goes to try out for a strange audition and becomes a vampire.

I think they have vampire sex? Yujin definitely feeds on Wonyoung’s blood to stay alive though, and I think she eventually has to turn Wonyoung into a vampire to save her life despite Wonyoung SPECIFICALLY telling her not to (Basically Yujin had promised never to turn Wonyoung, only to break it when Wonyoung’s life was on the line).

Another thing I recall about this fic is that Yujin goes missing for ~5 years when she leaves for the audition, so she I guess she spent 5 years as a vampire before going back to Wonyoung? I don’t remember how Yujin survived for those 5 years, but I know I remember Wonyoung dating Sunghoon (she moved on and eventually got with after Yujin “left” her), and the second Yujin came back, she broke off her years-long relationship with him to be with her again. Also I think Wonyoung *liked* having her blood sucked… (Random details, but I thought they were cute things to mention)

Condition: Wrote this a little under a year ago, DNF’d at 31k words because I didn’t know where to take the story/lost motivation.

5. A/B/O AU where Yujin is a submissive alpha and Wonyoung is a dominant omega. Classroom sex occurs.

I started writing this because of a recommendation on CC (I think it was just an ABO rec but I wanted to put a spin on it) and abandoned it at ~3k words because my omegaverse writing skills are abysmal.

6. Grey’s Anatomy AU where (basically) Yujin is Derek and Wonyoung is Meredith.

If you’ve never heard of Grey’s:

Yujin is an attending Surgeon and Wonyoung is an intern, which basically means Yujin is who Wonyoung wants to be when she’s older. Before Wonyoung’s first day of work, she meets Yujin in a bar and sleeps with her. She finds out the next day that Yujin is one of her bosses and the fic is a cat and mouse game of Yujin chasing her and then backing out and Wonyoung chasing her back until they finally get together—it’s a terribly written fiasco, but was sort of fun to imagine nonetheless.

Their age gap is about ten years, which is ignored in the show but I addressed it in the fic. A commonality between the fic and the show, however, is that the power imbalance is largely ignored (because that’s no fun! [to write about, anyway. The fic was 90% lighthearted])

Condition: Wrote this over a year ago because I started watching Grey’s, abandoned at ~91k words (How the hell did I write that much?! I need to manifest that type of motivation and free time NOW😭)

7. Wonyoung is home for the summer, back from her office job in Seoul. Yujin, however, had never left their small town. Wonyoung pretends that her life in the city is super fulfilling and perfect but that’s a lie—she hates it and her boyfriend is NOT as great as she makes him out to be—but she’s too proud to admit it. Yujin, a doctor at a local Pediatric office, is much happier. Wonyoung secretly envies her. And maybe still loves her a little bit, too.

The plot mostly revolves around their past and skips around in time, eventually revealing that the feelings Wonyoung had for Yujin as a child weren’t merely friendly, and somehow she missed that while Yujin was fully aware of it. (Double) Eventually, they kiss and Wonyoung has to wrestle with cheating on her boyfriend (family problems make that difficult for her, b/c her father was a cheater and left her mother when she was young [Daddy issues ftw!!]) and also being gay in her small town wouldn’t be taken so kindly.

Condition: This was a DRAFT I planned out earlier this year, so I had an outline of events but didn’t write beyond the first chapter (~3k words). I think it was inspired by a K-drama, can’t recall the name. Abandoned b/c I just wasn’t in the mood for it anymore (I think this made me realize FULLY plotting a story down the dime ruins the fun for me, sadly).

8. Chef AU

I had the idea of making Yujin an Executive Chef and Wonyoung a Commis Chef (like fresh out of culinary school her first job is under Yujin), but I couldn’t come up with a good story, so I changed the plot to make them both mid-level chefs vying for the same higher position. I wanted there to be this enemies to lovers thing where they hate each other because they’re both the best and the other one is “holding them back” but also urging them to better by merely existing, with trust and betrayals and sabotage and reluctant teamwork.

This was one of the first fic ideas I had and it was well before I realized I couldn’t easily write about things I had no experience with. I was (and still am) sorely lacking in the Culinary knowledge required to take on a project of this calibre😭. I would’ve had to research & plan everything out to be accurate, which I realised about 1 chapter in… but at least I learned that “write what you know” is good advice to follow, at least for a beginner…

9. Yujin is a developer for a company that makes AI bots. One day she creates Wonyoung and slowly, after many tests and trails and tribulations, falls in love with her. Obviously the only logical course of action is to steal her and run away.

This is another based on a CC request, and I honestly still think if a cute idea as a one shot, it’s just I liked the idea so much I wanted to make it a long fic with Detroit Becoming Human vibes, but of course that’s a little too advanced for me.

Condition: I wrote ~3k words of this, so not much, but I think this one of the only fics on this list that I could still see myself making something out of, just more goofy and lighthearted. Still, it’s here because I don’t currently have plans to do so.

9. Bridgerton-esque AU where Wonyoung is deemed the “diamond” (most vied-after woman during the courting season), but she can’t quite find someone who she wants to marry. There’s a seemingly perfect guy—a prince—but it’s actually his cousin that Wonyoung has eyes for.

She and Yujin actually end up having a relationship, although in the beginning it’s more of an older sister thing for Yujin where Wonyoung’s love is one-sided, until at some point Yujin stops seeing her that way and takes her feelings seriously, and their relationship became intimate and dangerous.

Condition: I abandoned this at ~19k words because it was getting sad and I couldn’t handle the angst. The ending I had planned was hopeful but still depressing and I don’t think my mental health can handle making that any time soon (or ever. I ENVY all the authors who can spend hours and days and years writing a story with a tragic ending. I just can’t do my babies like that :( )

Side note: I actually came up with this idea BEFORE the most recent season of Bridgerton (like I started writing this idea before even FINISHING season 1), which doesn’t really matter at all, just wanted to claim lesbian bridgerton I guess? I’m just yapping at this point, I love the ending of the latest season despite all the hate it got

LIGHTNING ROUND FOR IDEAS THAT I ONLY WROTE AS SINGLE SENTENCES or failed to write but wanted to mention (all from different times, MOSTLY a year ago but some more recent):

- “Streamer AU Wonyoung accidentally exposes the relationship on cam”

(Cute but lacking plot)

- “Enemies to lovers flower shop x event planner AU”

(this one has some kick ngl…I still see the vision)

- “I like older girls.”

(??? No idea what the idea was, maybe a CC rec? But slay!)

- “Band and cheer.”

(Classic. Succinct. I like it.)

- “Enemies that are secret lovers.”

(I just wrote tropes down and hoped the fics would write themselves I guess.)

(wait, I lowkey still do that…)

- “They meet in a dog park and flirt and go back to her place.”

(I SWEAR I remember someone giving me this idea on CC but I only started making a list of reccs relatively recently so if this was you helloooo, I tried fo write this!)

- “Princess x bodyguard”

(nah because this one still has me trying to write it every once in a while… I’ve dreamt about this AU but can never think of a good plot)

(also a CC rec and I might still write this one now that I’m looking back at it😭)

- “Time travel AU where Wonyoung is a researcher who goes missing and Yujin searches for her in multiple timelines”

(I think I dropped this b/c it lacked romance; was more about Yujin solving the mystery)

- “They’re soloists who are rumored to be dating. A scandal threatens to ruin their careers but they have proof to deny it, but the whole situation brings them close and they bond over how terrible the industry is etc etc…”

(Interesting but I didn’t think it through enough. How does it end??? I can’t handle all that angst😭)

- “Wonyoung bullies Yujin for being a lesbian but it’s just her own internalized homophobia and religious guilt and they fuck in the locker room(or not idk if the vibe is smut).”

(I have so many ideas like this.. but those others are still in my TBD pile)

Other:

- I tried A/B/O outside of the fic I mentioned in the main list and it’s pretty stilted. I think I can do it eventually because I genuinely like the trope, just need more practice for it not to be completely garbage. Also I really struggle with plots in ABO Aus when brainstorming

- Hybrid fics—I also like the idea because it’s so CUTEEE, but I don’t really know how to write them as animals… I think I need to read more

Sorry if these ideas kind of SUCKED but I had to choose fics for this Graveyard that I am (as close as I can be to) 100% certain I will never pick back up again, which made the pickings slimmer compared to my entire “WIP”/Draft list.

There are plenty more drafts I consider “Abandoned” (I have a whole tag on my Notion for it), but I didn’t put them because I could see myself still using them in the future, so they don’t fit with the rest.

If you asked for something on CC within the past couple months but didn’t see it on here, it’s probably because I’m still considering making it and is sitting in my Notes App list, but just to be safe you can always drop by there and leave the same idea again since it doesn’t hurt to make sure I see it❤️❤️

Maybe I can make a separate list of fics I MIGHT write (What separates those fics from these are that I actually planned proper endings for them), but the problem is I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up by saying “Hey, any of these can be fics,” when tomorrow I may decide I hate the idea… It feels a little cruel 😭

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my yap and I love you!! See u next fic (hopefully soon) ❤️❤️

(By CC request I started a Ko-fi where I may or may not post small fics (idk if I’m allowed to do that on there??), but I’ll cross post here too) [might do proper commissions in the future but currently I don’t have the time :(]

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booksdaydream · 2 years ago

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The Lost and Found part IV

*SPOILERS OF THE GAME HOGWARTS LEGACY AHEAD*

Characters: Dark!Sebastian; use of MC; GN!MC; Ominis Gaunt; eventual Ominis Gaunt x MC.

Summary: Based on this post by @avadakedavravravra. After Sebastian substituted Ominis with a Polyjuice potion, he seduces MC to force Ominis into disclosing Anne’s location. And to also have a little bit of fun.

Warnings: mild violence; mild abuse (imprisonment); talks about death; sad mainly for Ominis, fluffy for an unsuspecting MC; angst overall; impersonating; lying; gaslighting; non-con relationship; kissing; snogging; lightly groping; a bit smutty; self-hatred; talks about not being enough.

Word count: 6K+ (got little carried away)

A/N: Really hard to know how far Sebastian should go. I have a feeling he’d go much further had he been pushed far enough, but then that’d be heart-breaking even for me. I imagine he’s mostly lost, instead of genuinely evil, so I give him some leeway to act out. Like a spoiling mother, I suppose. Kinda wish he had the opportunity of acting like himself, he’d treasure MC like no one, but oh well too late for apologies in his case. Also, last bit of fluff. It’s just sad after this one. So enjoy! Comments appreciated :) (Once again, "Ominis" in bold is Sebastian's Ominis).

–––––––––––––

This chapter on AO3

The Lost and Found

Part I

Part II

Part III

–––––––––––––

“Have you got in contact with Anne yet?” The confident voice of MC asked from the other side of the Undercroft, echoing through the room and Sebastian’s mind. No, of course he didn’t get in contact with Anne. He had no idea where she was. For a moment he considered rampaging through Feldcroft until he found her hiding place, but his anger changed directions when MC continued in a now anxious tone “Do you think Sebastian found her already?” Did they actually think he’d cause her any harm? He held back the desire to roll his eyes, instead taking the opportunity to reach out and hold their hand.

They were sitting in the Undercroft on a hastily conjured Persian rug and some pillows scattered around. Sebastian was working on a potions homework while MC read a book on herbology. They sat very close, something he had gotten used to fairly quickly. And he quite enjoyed. MC held his hand back, interlocking their fingers together. They sighed satisfied and Sebastian held back a not-very-Omininly smirk.

“I doubt Sebastian would go see Anne without a cure in hands, that would be unwise of him. And only a couple of weeks have passed since he left, not enough time for a man on the run to have furthered his research sufficiently.” He brushed off MC’s anxious thought, with a slight frown on his semblance.

Sebastian failed to notice a brow rise on MC’s face. Surely, his lack of cure wouldn’t stop him on visiting his sister. Even if in secret, without actually interacting with her. They thought but did not say anything. Sometimes they had the feeling Ominis knew too much of Sebastian yet pretended to not know enough. A feeling that only appeared after his time in captivity. Although MC did not want to doubt Ominis, they couldn’t shake the feeling that if they had doubted everything a bit more before, they would’ve been able to realize Ominis was being held captive by Sebastian much earlier.

Sebastian squeezed their hand bringing them back into the present and MC felt their face heat up upon noticing his face had turned towards them, rather near their own. They had been much closer than before, but Ominis was very proper. Perhaps a real gentleman. Stealing touches in private, such as this, but maintaining a very friend-like stance in their daily routine. MC couldn't, however, stop wishing more. They had confessed and Ominis had accepted their feelings, but nothing more was spoken about their relationship. Had it evolved? Was what they shared more than friendliness? Could they expect more kisses?

Although Sebastian could tell MC’s eagerness, in the way they would lean towards him when walking the corridors, hands almost touching, or when they would give him anything deliberately allowing their fingers to touch for a moment longer, he couldn’t bring himself to push his manipulation further. No, not manipulation, guidance. Ominis’ words from their last meaningful interaction still haunted him. And he was having a hard time trying to figure out why. He always knew, from that duel at DADA, that he found MC interesting. He even got into trouble with Madam Scribner that one time because he had a crush on them. But wasn’t that it? A crush? He knew he cared for them as a bestfriend, just as much as he cared for Ominis, maybe as much as Anne. But, seducing them was the line he was unwilling to cross?

After the many boundaries he had disregarded, that one was out of question? Or perhaps was he delaying doing so for a more important moment? If that was the case, he had to start working towards it soon because Ominis was peculiar compared to him. He was patient, caring and strived for a slow burn. Sebastian, however, knew he was himself very different. He was passionate and eager; he couldn’t care less about taking things slow. And if he could actually have MC all to himself, he wondered if he’d get lost in them. How much he’d adore them if only they’d allow him. He knew, anyway, that whatever form he decided to move forward with this, he’d likely hurt MC forever. One vile act of unwillingly taking them and betraying their trust.

He wondered if having them in love with him would make it for an easy way to cure Anne. How worth the hurt it could be. His mind quickly remembered that day in the pensive, watching the memories of another ancient magic user, Isidora. One who’s portrait was broken and who’s fate MC’s beloved keepers decided. Her power taking away her father’s pain and the potential it had to take away Anne’s curse. Perhaps MC could be the answer he was avoiding all this time. An answer hidden by his search of the dark arts and his foolish crush. His desire to protect them. Sebastian realized he didn’t have to do so anymore. They had betrayed him as well. Just as he stopped caring for Ominis, he could stop caring for MC. At least enough to cross that line. A necessary evil on his quest to find a cure for his sister. For Anne. They only had him left while MC had Ominis and the many friends they did during this year. They would survive the hurt.

Sebastian squeezed MC’s hand again, gaining their attention and smiled. “Actually, there is something else I needed to talk to you about…”, MC nodded and hummed in agreement, listening attentively as Ominisfrowned still up close. “I have thought about what we shared that day here and… In reality, I am concerned.”, MC stared at him confused. Sebastian knew this was a risk, but no one knew Ominis better than him and this is roughly how he would go about this. “My family is awful; they would be certainly against any sort of relationship between us. Even more so a romantic one… hence I am hesitant about starting it with you, however I meant what I said. I– I want to express to you how much I cherish you. It torments me how I cannot– my inability to properly show you the strength of my feelings–”

“Ominis.” MC interrupted him. Their voice barely a whisper, surprising Sebastian in his emotional monologue, making him move away slightly. “I don’t want you to worry when you’re around me. Not about your feelings nor your family. There’s no need to perfectly show me anything. I– I want you to enjoy our time together just as much as I do. You make me feel so safe and comfortable, I just want you to be able to feel somewhat the same when you’re with me. Not be concerned.” They sighed, their voice losing their strength. “I’m sorry if my confession made things complicated.”

“No. It’s not complicated.” Sebastian responded satisfied with where this conversation was going. “I have feelings for you, there is no question about that. As well as I want to be with you.”

“Really?” He could hear the brightness return to their voice, Sebastian was sure their eyes were sparkling, and they had a stupid smile in their face.

“Really. But I wonder if I am enough.” MC made a confused sort of snort. “I was not enough to help Sebastian in his pursuit. I failed my bestfriend. What is it to tell me I won’t fail the person I like?” Sebastian made sure to put his own bitterness in his sob speech, a bitterness that MC heard very loudly. They reached out to Ominis in a second, not even stopping to observe his severe expression. Sebastian almost lost his breath as they enveloped him in a tight embrace, arms around his waist and face burrowing into his shoulder. He felt MC exhale onto him and squeeze before mumbling in a choky voice.

“You are enough. You were always enough.” Sebastian couldn’t help but feel his own chest tighten and embraced MC back. He waited for anything else they could say that would sound remotely comforting. For him, not his portrayal of Ominis. He almost felt as if he wasn’t alone anymore. Waiting was a mistake. “Sebastian simply wanted more than anyone could give. He was selfish. Selfish and reckless. What started as goodwill and kindness quickly spiralled into ruthlessness and imprudence. He would’ve gotten you killed had you followed him.”

Sebastian squeezed MC into his embrace. They took that physicality as Ominis accepting and understanding their words. But his thoughts were lost, reflecting an enraged mind. Any regret he might have felt in the future for hurting MC had already vanished. They continued disappointing him. He felt corrected. His choice of using MC for their ancient magic was the right one. To betray them as they had betrayed him was nothing but reckoning. He'd tempt them. And he would make sure they would have no way of denying him. He hummed in response.

“You’re right, MC. I should not let Sebastian’s mistakes allow me to doubt myself, to rob us of a future. Nor Anne.”

Any guilt Sebastian might have felt didn’t exist anymore. If anything, he was determined to make MC submit to him. Whether he wanted to prove a point to Ominis or get Anne’s location, didn’t matter. He would achieve these goals as well eventually, yet seducing MC was a retribution of his own. But it was going to take time, one he would savour. He was likely going to enjoy it too. He was careful to approach them slowly, first with his words – Ominis was a man of eloquence afterall – so as to not spook MC.

He would slip petnames onto daily phrases. Darling, love, my dear. “Could you be so kind as to pass me the ink, love?”; “Did you take notes for History of Magic, my dear?”; “Good morning, darling, did you have breakfast yet?”. To each and every one of these, MC would have a more interesting reaction. Gasps, sighs and – Sebastian could only imagine – blushes. Even when it was obvious that he would slip them into his speech next, they would be surprised. Oh, and when he would purposedly leave them out, MC would also illicit intriguing responses. Scoffs, sharp exhales, and the restless tap of fingers. MC was very easy to provoke and to understand. They were slowly growing impatient, Sebastian had noticed. Their physical flirting had gradually left the Undercroft and appeared in class sometimes, as provocation.

It was his turn, however. So, Sebastian would lightly scold MC. Which in turn turned out to be amusing on its own. For some reason, MC didn’t seem to mind. Every provocation being met with a scold, was repeated not much later. It went something as hands brushing against each other and MC holding his pinky finger with their own on top of the desk during a lecture, to which he’d respond by leaning towards them, tilting his face near theirs just close enough they would be the only one capable of hearing, and whispering something of the sort “Don’t you think the Undercroft is more appropriate? Right now, I am trying to pay attention, my beloved.” And MC would respond with either a giggle, a slight chuckle, or a harsh exhale, promptly letting go of his hand just to grab it again a few minutes later. Upon his new discovery, Sebastian allowed himself to be bolder.

Still respecting the private guy persona Ominis exuded, he started touching MC furtively. The knees in contact were a constant of theirs. During breakfast, class or even just sitting around in the Undercroft. He would casually ask them to guide him through the castle by his hand, as an innocent excuse to hold theirs – something they would always giggle to, but never deny him – and would interlock their fingers. He would ask more often for help with grabbing things, reaching things, and touching things so MC’s hands would rest upon his for a longer time. Time or another he would scan his surroundings with his wand, making sure all were distracted, to grab and squeeze their knee. When Sebastian was feeling especially bolder, he would squeeze their thigh. To which MC would jump slightly in their seat. They even once scared Natty during a study session in the library. Sebastian did his best to hold down a laughter.

Yet one would think Sebastian would have made any moves on MC while on the Undercroft. But he didn’t. He purposedly made sure to keep in there the same atmosphere as outside, taunting MC. He had tasted – quite literally – what tension could do to them, so he was awaiting with anticipation to when they would pounce once again. He kept everything as chaste as he did in public. The least tamed act was the thigh squeezes that tended to become more often as MC would misbehave more frequently – likely on purpose. He would allow himself to be more verbally flirty, complimenting MC often and almost absent-mindedly than before the confession. Except the tone would remain the same as if they were in public. He knew he was driving them mad. That was the intention.

And, oh Merlin, was he having fun. All the time and energy he was spending, slowly provoking MC, was definitely not his method of choice, but certainly a fun one to pursue. And it was rewarded handsomely that Friday. Sebastian had had a most satisfying day of flirting with MC but needed to cut it short because they’d promised to study with Natty – he had been banned for the thigh incident, although Natty didn’t seem to have noticed. Apparently, MC and him getting closer was expected by everyone since Sebastian’s miserable attempt in keeping Ominis captive.

Sebastian left his room to feed Ominis and when he returned MC was sitting in his bed, waiting for him. It’s a king single bed, clean linen with an emerald duvet folded neatly on top. With two pillows looking soft and inviting. It has a canopy with matching emerald drapes, tied around the foot of the bed. The room has three beds arranged in a triangle, with the opposite side of the top bed having the students’ luggage and pets resting. Sebastian’s things were no longer there, just Ominis’. Each bed has their own drawer and writing desk, on each side of them. They're all made of the finest wood, adorned in silver and green details. The ceiling is very similar to that of a gothic cathedral, in stone and gargoyles, but much closer so that one could reach it upon standing on the bed's canopy if they so wished. The walls had forest green wallpapers, with branches and leaves in velvet, complementing the motif of the room.

“Ominis.” They called, a smile coming through their voice as soon as he crossed the heavy door. Sebastian smiled sincerely happy.

“What do I owe you the pleasure of this surprise?” He barely kept his Sebastianess at bay. He didn’t see MC’s arched brows in a confused, but amused stare.

“I finished the study session and… thought you could use the notes.” They shrugged approaching Sebastian. MC reached out and held his hand passing some parchment to him. He nodded in thanks. “I also wanted to see you.” They admitted still holding his hand. He smirked back.

“I’m glad you did.” His free hand reached up, searching for their face. His index finger touched their cheek lightly, his middle finger their jaw and his thumb their lips. He pressed slightly stronger when he noticed the placement and caressed their bottom lip. “I have been thinking about you too.” He felt MC smile against his hand.

“Not as much as me. I think about you all the time. It’s almost exhausting– ” MC complained still smiling. Sebastian smiled back.

“It’s not a competition.”

“ –and not enough.” They continued as if they hadn’t heard him. He frowned, tilting his head slightly downwards as if to hear them better. “I can’t get enough of you.” Oh, wasn’t he a lucky boy.

In just a couple of weeks he had made MC fall head over heels for his bestfriend, in just the right way he wanted. They were under his thumb, completely submitted. Victory was his. He just needed to convince them to use their ancient magic on Anne. To save her. But Sebastian couldn’t even start talking again, monologuing a guilt trip to bring them to his side. Simply because their lips crashed into his without previous warning. Or rather, he supposed I can’t get enough of you is a fair warning.

MC’s lips flattened with the strength which they pressed against Sebastian’s, their hands reaching out to his chest and fervently searching for something to grab onto. They held onto his robes’ front hem, furiously pulling him closer, with an urgency that would have driven anyone to the edge. The parchment fell from Sebastian’s hand. He could only widen his eyes in response, disoriented. Then their lips moved. Teeth knocking, breath hitching, and a caught moan was heard from MC.

Sebastian finally realized what was happening and his hands started to move. Down their face to the length of their neck, thumb resting on their jaw. He could feel MC’s pulse mimicking the speed of his. His other hand raised to their side, grabbing their waist, and pulling them closer before dropping to their hips to keep them there. MC’s hands left Ominis’ robes, rising to his neck where one of them knitted their fingers in his short hairs, slightly tugging at them. A groan in response could be heard from Sebastian in Ominis’ voice and their bodies were so close one would think they’d been glued together.

Sebastian gasped for air, not realizing how excitedly he’d been kissing them. MC took the opportunity to reach out to his neck with their mouth, leaving open-mouthed kisses from his collarbone to behind his ear, to then leave a couple of marks under his chin and a bite on his neck which received a very low groan in approval from Sebastian. He didn’t need to ask, and their mouths were together again, this time Sebastian was ready.

Their lips kissed and tugged, biting and sucking in hunger. Something MC would later consider very un-Ominis-like. But then and there, touching Ominis was all they could think about. And Sebastian was not far off. Enthralled on the thought of having MC, he licked their bottom lip in a suggestion for deeper contact while pressing them closer to him, rubbing their front against his. With a soft gasp, MC parted their lips wide enough to allow for Sebastian’s kiss, loosening their grip on him enough to instead melt into his arms. Sebastian hand moved from their hips to their lower back grabbing and tugging at their robes, quietly wishing he could take them off. His other hand moved to the back of their neck, his turn to tug on some hairs.

MC moaned into Ominis’ lips, their hand falling from his neck to grab onto his tie, quickly undoing it. They tossed it aside with a chuckle of approval from Sebastian. MC’s hands travelled to Ominis’ robes, unbuttoning them and, with a murmur, helping him get out of them. Their hands sliding the robes off Ominis’ shoulders as one of his hands still held onto MC. They broke the kiss long enough for Sebastian to drop the robes onto the floor and push MC further into the room towards one of the beds. Their lips promptly found each other again, tongues incessantly tasting one another. MC couldn’t help but moan against Sebastian. His hands quickly returning to their waist, travelling through their torso, up to their tie. Sebastian undid it swiftly and tossed it over his shoulder.

He turned them around and walked backwards, groaning as he felt MC sneaking hand over his trousers. His calves hit the bed and he sat down, bringing MC with him to sit on his lap facing him. Sebastian quickly felt for the button of their robes and unlatched them, hearing them slump loudly onto the floor. Their hands promptly found Sebastian again, resting on the back of his neck. The kiss stopped for a moment, and he could feel MC’s gaze on him. Were they admiring him? The mess they made him? He wondered how he looked like.

His chestnut hair all messy, even more than it usually was. His plump lips even more plump and swollen from the rough biting and sucking. He even wondered if his neck freckles were adorned by hickeys and bites. He smiled to himself, satisfied for leaving MC speechless with his appearance and leaned up towards them. He found their chin and kissed their jaw towards their ear, grabbing onto their waist, and starting to work on their neck. Then MC called out to him in a shocked whimper, making him remember that he wasn’t snogging them as Sebastian.

“Ominis…”MC called out tentatively, their voice barely a whisper surrounded by uncertainty. They gulped loudly. The sound almost getting lost between their breathless breathing. “We’re– We’re on Sebastian’s…” Sebastian realized in an almost panic that he had dragged them to his bed, not Ominis’. He felt a chill run down his spine. Ominis’ would never make such mistake. He wasn’t sure how to evade this, so he heard himself start rambling.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” He unlatched from their neck, gasping for breath, looking around alarmed.

“It’s okay.” MC calmed him down, moving their hands from behind his neck, buried in his hair, to his shoulders then to his chest. They moved uncomfortably although their voice sounded confident, suddenly very aware they were snogging sitting on Ominis’ lap on top of Sebastian’s bed.

“I couldn’t possibly be a worst friend…” MC froze in his arms, unsure of what they were hearing. He hesitated before exhaling shakily. “I doubted Sebastian all throughout his search, sceptical about a cure.” MC felt Ominis shake slightly under their hands, starting to spiral. “I discouraged him when I should have supported him, I even dismissed him sometimes. Merlin, did I ever sound such as Solomon did?” He wondered. His eyes slightly widened staring up at MC, Sebastian remembering some instances Ominis scoffed at his pleas for assistance.

“Ominis…” MC called out in a soft voice dreading what sort of fears would spill out of his mouth. “You didn’t. If anything, you sounded as a worried friend.” They tried to sound confident while reaching up towards his face, their hand travelling through his neck to his jaw and cupping his cheek. He frowned in pain and continued.

“I thought his search was just something to keep him busy, I didn’t think he’d go far… so far as to dabble in the dark arts. I should have predicted his obsession would tire me out enough to bend to his will. To show him the Scriptorium. To further his research, I’m sure he practiced in secret…” His breath hitched, his voice trembling as his eyes welled with tears. MC kept their voice steady and strong when they muttered a “It’s not your fault”, sounding confident, for his sake. But their breath was also shaky, betraying their spirit. They hoped Ominis didn’t notice as they felt their own expression paint a worried look.

“I couldn’t quench his anger towards his uncle, and it spiralled out of control. I couldn't stop Sebastian from killing him…” Sebastian closed his eyes tight and felt MC pull his face towards their chest while muttering “It’s not your fault” again. They held him there, their other hand moving from his chest to his shoulder then lowering to his back. MC rubbed large circles softly but constantly, embracing him so sweetly Sebastian almost felt all the pain from Anne’s curse, Solomon’s death, Ominis’ and their betrayal float away. A distant memory.

He allowed himself to savour the embrace and wrapped his arms around them, finding their back with his hands. He grabbed at their shirt, almost as if grabbing at her soothing words. “It’s not your fault” was heard again. Then he continued. “I am weak. Weak for allowing Anne to get hurt. For allowing Solomon to hinder a cure to be found. For failing to find a cure myself…” Sebastian mixed his own feelings with the ones he was supposed to paint for Ominis, sounding almost angry. “For not stopping Sebastian… Could I have stopped Sebastian?” He asked, in a whine, sure of his friend’s inability to end his own search but wanting to act just right.

“No.” MC confirmed. A confidence in their steady tone. “I don’t think anyone would have been able to stop him. Sebastian was blinded by the dark arts, corrupted. Certain it was the only way to save Anne. It didn’t matter what we wanted; not even what Anne wanted. I doubted he knew what he wanted himself. Simply that he had a selfish need to cure Anne. And I think he’s likely still stuck in that state, acting reckless out of desperation. It’s not your fault. I don’t think it’s even his. But our choices have consequences. And his have far more painful ones than any of us could’ve imagined. You tried to help him make better ones, but you’re not Sebastian. You can’t choose for him.”

Sebastian trembled in their arms. He was Sebastian. But, even if he made a different choice now, it was too late. His path was already taken, and his friend’s ones were as well. They had already chosen to betray him. He remembered his previous thoughts in his first day acting upon his madness. That his friends saw him as a monster. Deep down, he had doubted that. And perhaps hearing MC talk he could see they pitied him over hating him. Sebastian couldn’t decide if this was worse. But the anger in his chest continued to boil in the same temperature. He continued trembling and MC wondered if he was crying.

“I must look pathetic. Dishevelled in your arms, tormented by guilt over my awful efforts at being a good friend. Even worse, your lover.” He complained looking down, with his forehead buried in MC’s chest. His voice a thin lament.

"It doesn't matter to me if you're a little broken, it never did. If anything, this whole ordeal broke me too. Now, we need to gather the pieces. Together. I'd like to do this together with you. You're not pathetic, you're strong. The strongest I know. And if you need me to remind you of that I will. Your efforts are enough, Ominis.” But this isn't like you, she thought. "And I will love you here too, when think you have failed, but all you did was try your best." He was satisfied with that answer, MC’s declaration very loud and clear to Sebastian.

He pushed back slightly, with a shaky breath. His hands were hurting from grabbing at their shirt too tight and he felt cold from separating from them. He got far away from them enough to look towards their direction with his brow furrowed and his lips tight in contemplation. He relaxed for a second, his unseen eyes looking for their seeing ones, and a hint of panic had settled on his expression before he asked for a last confirmation of support. “You’ll still love me through it all, right?”. Sebastian asked feigning restlessness and lack of confidence, trying to ascertain his power over MC even if he had made a mistake. One that would not destroy his plan, he was confident, but which speech might have fed the seed of doubt in MC.

To that question MC did not hesitate to confidently agree “Yes.” He smiled, his confidence returning to his face, his shoulders rising high in a deep breath. But they looked in his face for any remains of all that pain that had already vanished, in MC’s opinion, too fast. They had realized the trembling in their arms were not tears although Ominis’ eyes were once filled with them. Their confidence slipped away. Doubts roaming around once again.Ominis wasn’t that weak minded.

Sebastian’s absence would have weighted terribly on him, but he was always a very strong person. Being raised by a terrible family, worrying about some foolish pranksters throughout his years at Hogwarts since he was a kid, even getting used to his bestfriend disregarding his deepest fears. Dealing with the worst kind of abuse from those closest to him had to have made him tougher. If anything, it wasn’t Ominis who dismissed Sebastian’s concerns, but Sebastian’s who dismissed his. The self-pity had to have a limit. Because if MC admired something about Ominis was his pride, that could hurt like a knife, just as it did on the first day they met, but could also inspire trust, as it did all these days looking after Sebastian together.

He simply didn’t sound like him at all. But the pained look on his face, the face they admired for so many months in stollen glances, pushed their doubts away. Only long enough for MC to nod in agreement, holding his hand now cupping their face and kissing its wrist. They closed their eyes and heard Ominis completely relax, his breath exhaling shakily. And in the silence between them MC’s thoughts got loud again. They quickly propped a soft chaste kiss on Ominis’ lips, with their eyes open watching his reaction. He smiled satisfied and a sinking feeling churned in MC’s stomach. They got up, grabbed their robes in a haste and left the room, not able to shake off the now familiar notion that something was very wrong.

Sebastian went to visit Ominis with a smile plastered on his face. He had proof MC was enamorated with him. A proof that he hoped would drive Ominis mad if his loneliness hadn’t done so already. Sebastian had been busy focused on alluring MC that he did not have any meaningful interaction with Ominis in weeks. He was always around them, every minute of every day trying to make the most of the time he had as his plan was yet to be exposed. Although, in all honesty, he was likely simply enjoying himself. He’d come around only to drop his food and stayed to hear one or two snarky remarks to satisfy his friends’ social interaction need. And that was it. He would then leave hastily to re-join MC. That was probably not enough for Ominis.

And if he could see, he’d notice it much faster. Ominis’ eyebags were impressive as his nights were terrifying. Sounds that weren’t there tormented his ears, the screams of the family the Gaunts forced torture upon would melt into the scream of MC in the Scriptorium. Sometimes he could hear whispers even when awake, judging his inability to escape the situation he was on. Marvolo snickering. His father sighs. Sebastian’s dark chuckles. He’d renounce that sense as well by dipping into the bath, diving, and hearing nothingness underwater. Sometimes for such a long time he felt his fingertips like raisings.

So, it wasn’t surprising when he stopped responding right away when Sebastian called out to him without much care. That evening (?) was the same. Ominis sat on the bed, facing the wall in front. His posture upright and stiff, a shadow of his years as a Gaunt. He heard the door open but didn’t believe his ears, unmoving. He also didn't react when Sebastian called.

“Here.” Sebastian said, tossing the tie towards Ominis general location.

Ominis frowned feeling a piece of cloth hit his shoulder, waking him up to reality. He rolled his eyes, touching his bed to find the cloth. “How many times have I told you not to throw anything towards the blind–” He stopped himself upon grabbing the cloth and realizing he was holding a tie. His scold died down into a confused scowl. “A tie?”

“Their tie.” Was all Sebastian said, confidently, as if they were sharing an inside joke. Ominis chuckled.

“And?”

“Do you not believe me? Smell it. I’m sure it still got their scent.” He provoked, a smirk in his voice. Ominis didn’t have to smell it to know it was MC’s, their scent was strong enough for him to feel it without actively seeking it out. It was rather memorable for him. Sea salt, chocolate, and the distinctive smell of soap. He just wasn’t sure why he was holding MC’s tie.

“What is this for?”

“How do you think I got this? Do I have to spell it for you?” Sebastian retorted with a sigh, starting to lose his delicate patience. Ominis frowned, deep in thought. Then he stood up in a flash. Sebastian heard the springs of the bed and laughed out loud. “That’s it. They were kind enough to let me take it out of their delicious neck.” He provoked. Ominis tried to approach, but Sebastian reached out with his wand towards him. He had to stop at the feeling of his own wand poking his chest. It couldn’t kill him but could definitely hurt.

“What did you do to them?” Rage was palpable in his voice, his knuckles white while holding tight around MC’s tie.

“Showed them a good time.” Sebastian smirked. Ominis responded with a ferocious sound, almost a growl. Sebastian found it amusing, entertained by his former friend’s anger. “Alright, alright. Settle down.” He asked amidst laughter. Ominis obeyed, breathing heavy. He retreated backwards towards his bed until he was sitting upright, stiff once again. “It was just some snogging–”

“With my face?!” Ominis interrupted, outraged. Sebastian chuckled once more.

“Obviously. Or did you forget you pushed me to run away, bestie?” He asked dripping sarcasm.

“You’re lying to them. You’re betraying their trust!”

“And I’m willing to do worse.” He threatened suddenly tired of getting scolded by his self-righteous former friend. He rolled his eyes at Ominis’ silence, a well-known desire to explain himself slipped out. “You both betrayed me first. It’s your fault. You forced my hand.” Ominis scoffed. Sebastian regretted saying anything.

“Where’s Anne?”

Ominis tightened his lips in a fine line. He debated whether telling Sebastian would make him stop any kind of manipulation he might be doing with MC, but he couldn’t be sure. He wasn’t sure either if he was stable enough to see Anne.

“Merlin! What is it with you both, thinking I will harm my own sister?” Sebastian asked to no one really, the frustration getting the better of him. Ominis wondered if both meant MC as well. “All I want is to cure her! Argh.” He screamed. Ominis remained impassive, without moving a muscle. Then he spoke calmly.

“What are you going to do to Anne?”

“Cure her.” Sebastian responded in a growl. So certain as if he had already found a cure. Ominis relaxed his face before frowning again.

“I’ll tell you where Anne is. But you need to know that whatever you do, including curing her, will end in her hating you.” Ominis stated candidly.

Sebastian frowned, anger rising. “You don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I do. You’ve already done too much that can’t be forgiven easily. You’ve already lost me, you’re about to lose MC and I’m sure you’ll lose Anne too. This is the path you’ve chosen.” Ominis responded with certainty. The calmness in his voice bubbled something inside Sebastian’s chest.

He approached Ominis and reached out to him. Ominis did not move, sensing himself a prey under the watchful stance of his predator. Sebastian hand found his face, his index finger on his protruding cheekbones. His fingers were cold to Ominis’ cheek. He chuckled darkly, raising his hand, and slapping him. Hard. The sound echoing through the room. Ominis’ face turned harshly with the impact. “Where’s Anne?”. Sebastian asked as if nothing had happened. Ominis didn’t move to face him again, his voice sounding distant.

“She’s staying with Mr. Ndiaye and his twin daughters.” If Sebastian heard tears in his voice he completely ignored it, finally letting go of their friendship. Perhaps at the same time Ominis did. Any painful stab at his heart upon seeing Ominis in his tiny room stopped meaning anything to him. And any apologies Sebastian could utter would carry no more meaning to Ominis.

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*No reproduction of this text allowed without credit*

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hellsitesonlybookclub · 1 year ago

Text

Frankenstein

The Modern Prometheus

By Mary Shelley

CHAPTER II.

We were brought up together; there was not quite a year difference in our ages. I need not say that we were strangers to any species of disunion or dispute. Harmony was the soul of our companionship, and the diversity and contrast that subsisted in our characters drew us nearer together. Elizabeth was of a calmer and more concentrated disposition; but, with all my ardour, I was capable of a more intense application, and was more deeply smitten with the thirst for knowledge. She busied herself with following the aerial creations of the poets; and in the majestic and wondrous scenes which surrounded our Swiss home—the sublime shapes of the mountains; the changes of the seasons; tempest and calm; the silence of winter, and the life and turbulence of our Alpine summers,—she found ample scope for admiration and delight. While my companion contemplated with a serious and satisfied spirit the magnificent appearances of things, I delighted in investigating their causes. The world was to me a secret which I desired to divine. Curiosity, earnest research to learn the hidden laws of nature, gladness akin to rapture, as they were unfolded to me, are among the earliest sensations I can remember.

On the birth of a second son, my junior by seven years, my parents gave up entirely their wandering life, and fixed themselves in their native country. We possessed a house in Geneva, and a campagne on Belrive, the eastern shore of the lake, at the distance of rather more than a league from the city. We resided principally in the latter, and the lives of my parents were passed in considerable seclusion. It was my temper to avoid a crowd, and to attach myself fervently to a few. I was indifferent, therefore, to my schoolfellows in general; but I united myself in the bonds of the closest friendship to one among them. Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant of Geneva. He was a boy of singular talent and fancy. He loved enterprise, hardship, and even danger, for its own sake. He was deeply read in books of chivalry and romance. He composed heroic songs, and began to write many a tale of enchantment and knightly adventure. He tried to make us act plays, and to enter into masquerades, in which the characters were drawn from the heroes of Roncesvalles, of the Round Table of King Arthur, and the chivalrous train who shed their blood to redeem the holy sepulchre from the hands of the infidels.

No human being could have passed a happier childhood than myself. My parents were possessed by the very spirit of kindness and indulgence. We felt that they were not the tyrants to rule our lot according to their caprice, but the agents and creators of all the many delights which we enjoyed. When I mingled with other families, I distinctly discerned how peculiarly fortunate my lot was, and gratitude assisted the developement of filial love.

My temper was sometimes violent, and my passions vehement; but by some law in my temperature they were turned, not towards childish pursuits, but to an eager desire to learn, and not to learn all things indiscriminately. I confess that neither the structure of languages, nor the code of governments, nor the politics of various states, possessed attractions for me. It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn; and whether it was the outward substance of things, or the inner spirit of nature and the mysterious soul of man that occupied me, still my enquiries were directed to the metaphysical, or, in its highest sense, the physical secrets of the world.

Meanwhile Clerval occupied himself, so to speak, with the moral relations of things. The busy stage of life, the virtues of heroes, and the actions of men, were his theme; and his hope and his dream was to become one among those whose names are recorded in story, as the gallant and adventurous benefactors of our species. The saintly soul of Elizabeth shone like a shrine-dedicated lamp in our peaceful home. Her sympathy was ours; her smile, her soft voice, the sweet glance of her celestial eyes, were ever there to bless and animate us. She was the living spirit of love to soften and attract: I might have become sullen in my study, rough through the ardour of my nature, but that she was there to subdue me to a semblance of her own gentleness. And Clerval—could aught ill entrench on the noble spirit of Clerval?—yet he might not have been so perfectly humane, so thoughtful in his generosity—so full of kindness and tenderness amidst his passion for adventurous exploit, had she not unfolded to him the real loveliness of beneficence, and made the doing good the end and aim of his soaring ambition.

I feel exquisite pleasure in dwelling on the recollections of childhood, before misfortune had tainted my mind, and changed its bright visions of extensive usefulness into gloomy and narrow reflections upon self. Besides, in drawing the picture of my early days, I also record those events which led, by insensible steps, to my after tale of misery: for when I would account to myself for the birth of that passion, which afterwards ruled my destiny, I find it arise, like a mountain river, from ignoble and almost forgotten sources; but, swelling as it proceeded, it became the torrent which, in its course, has swept away all my hopes and joys.

Natural philosophy is the genius that has regulated my fate; I desire, therefore, in this narration, to state those facts which led to my predilection for that science. When I was thirteen years of age, we all went on a party of pleasure to the baths near Thonon: the inclemency of the weather obliged us to remain a day confined to the inn. In this house I chanced to find a volume of the works of Cornelius Agrippa. I opened it with apathy; the theory which he attempts to demonstrate, and the wonderful facts which he relates, soon changed this feeling into enthusiasm. A new light seemed to dawn upon my mind; and, bounding with joy, I communicated my discovery to my father. My father looked carelessly at the titlepage of my book, and said, "Ah! Cornelius Agrippa! My dear Victor, do not waste your time upon this; it is sad trash."

If, instead of this remark, my father had taken the pains to explain to me, that the principles of Agrippa had been entirely exploded, and that a modern system of science had been introduced, which possessed much greater powers than the ancient, because the powers of the latter were chimerical, while those of the former were real and practical; under such circumstances, I should certainly have thrown Agrippa aside, and have contented my imagination, warmed as it was, by returning with greater ardour to my former studies. It is even possible, that the train of my ideas would never have received the fatal impulse that led to my ruin. But the cursory glance my father had taken of my volume by no means assured me that he was acquainted with its contents; and I continued to read with the greatest avidity.

When I returned home, my first care was to procure the whole works of this author, and afterwards of Paracelsus and Albertus Magnus. I read and studied the wild fancies of these writers with delight; they appeared to me treasures known to few beside myself. I have described myself as always having been embued with a fervent longing to penetrate the secrets of nature. In spite of the intense labour and wonderful discoveries of modern philosophers, I always came from my studies discontented and unsatisfied. Sir Isaac Newton is said to have avowed that he felt like a child picking up shells beside the great and unexplored ocean of truth. Those of his successors in each branch of natural philosophy with whom I was acquainted, appeared even to my boy's apprehensions, as tyros engaged in the same pursuit.

The untaught peasant beheld the elements around him, and was acquainted with their practical uses. The most learned philosopher knew little more. He had partially unveiled the face of Nature, but her immortal lineaments were still a wonder and a mystery. He might dissect, anatomise, and give names; but, not to speak of a final cause, causes in their secondary and tertiary grades were utterly unknown to him. I had gazed upon the fortifications and impediments that seemed to keep human beings from entering the citadel of nature, and rashly and ignorantly I had repined.

But here were books, and here were men who had penetrated deeper and knew more. I took their word for all that they averred, and I became their disciple. It may appear strange that such should arise in the eighteenth century; but while I followed the routine of education in the schools of Geneva, I was, to a great degree, self taught with regard to my favourite studies. My father was not scientific, and I was left to struggle with a child's blindness, added to a student's thirst for knowledge. Under the guidance of my new preceptors, I entered with the greatest diligence into the search of the philosopher's stone and the elixir of life; but the latter soon obtained my undivided attention. Wealth was an inferior object; but what glory would attend the discovery, if I could banish disease from the human frame, and render man invulnerable to any but a violent death!

Nor were these my only visions. The raising of ghosts or devils was a promise liberally accorded by my favourite authors, the fulfilment of which I most eagerly sought; and if my incantations were always unsuccessful, I attributed the failure rather to my own inexperience and mistake, than to a want of skill or fidelity in my instructors. And thus for a time I was occupied by exploded systems, mingling, like an unadept, a thousand contradictory theories, and floundering desperately in a very slough of multifarious knowledge, guided by an ardent imagination and childish reasoning, till an accident again changed the current of my ideas.

When I was about fifteen years old we had retired to our house near Belrive, when we witnessed a most violent and terrible thunder-storm. It advanced from behind the mountains of Jura; and the thunder burst at once with frightful loudness from various quarters of the heavens. I remained, while the storm lasted, watching its progress with curiosity and delight. As I stood at the door, on a sudden I beheld a stream of fire issue from an old and beautiful oak, which stood about twenty yards from our house; and so soon as the dazzling light vanished, the oak had disappeared, and nothing remained but a blasted stump. When we visited it the next morning, we found the tree shattered in a singular manner. It was not splintered by the shock, but entirely reduced to thin ribands of wood. I never beheld any thing so utterly destroyed.

Before this I was not unacquainted with the more obvious laws of electricity. On this occasion a man of great research in natural philosophy was with us, and, excited by this catastrophe, he entered on the explanation of a theory which he had formed on the subject of electricity and galvanism, which was at once new and astonishing to me. All that he said threw greatly into the shade Cornelius Agrippa, Albertus Magnus, and Paracelsus, the lords of my imagination; but by some fatality the overthrow of these men disinclined me to pursue my accustomed studies. It seemed to me as if nothing would or could ever be known. All that had so long engaged my attention suddenly grew despicable. By one of those caprices of the mind, which we are perhaps most subject to in early youth, I at once gave up my former occupations; set down natural history and all its progeny as a deformed and abortive creation; and entertained the greatest disdain for a would-be science, which could never even step within the threshold of real knowledge. In this mood of mind I betook myself to the mathematics, and the branches of study appertaining to that science, as being built upon secure foundations, and so worthy of my consideration.

Thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by such slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity or ruin. When I look back, it seems to me as if this almost miraculous change of inclination and will was the immediate suggestion of the guardian angel of my life—the last effort made by the spirit of preservation to avert the storm that was even then hanging in the stars, and ready to envelope me. Her victory was announced by an unusual tranquillity and gladness of soul, which followed the relinquishing of my ancient and latterly tormenting studies. It was thus that I was to be taught to associate evil with their prosecution, happiness with their disregard.

It was a strong effort of the spirit of good; but it was ineffectual. Destiny was too potent, and her immutable laws had decreed my utter and terrible destruction.

#frankenstein #the modern prometheus #mary shelley #october #spooky month #halloween #book club #read along

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magicwhiskers29 · 1 year ago

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Taking a break from my regularly scheduled staring out the window to give some thoughts on Pikmin 4 now that I've finished it! (finished the main game, anyway)

Spoilers, of course, ahead!

Great game! I enjoyed it a lot! I will be being obnoxious about it, but having waited a decade for it, I feel that's justified

I wasn't sure I was going to like the Rescue Corps during the first hour or so, but no, they're extremely fun. Their conversations at the end of the day/night are often completely insane, but I live for it. Highlights include:

Shepherd explaining that she hired Bernard because he delivered packages faster than any one else (probably through illegal means)

Collin telling Shepherd his current job was the hardest he's ever had, after listing a bunch of taxing jobs

Literally any time Yonny talks about his experiments ("glow pikmin are immune to all hazards" "yonny how do you know this? yonny!?!?")

Dingo's guilty conscience about leaving Bernard behind causing him to confess the truth of the incident when Bernard was just talking about stolen pizza

Bernard claiming that sleeping is an integral part of his job

Shepherd abruptly stopping the ship after the fake credits for Oatchi was really sweet too; it really helped to sell the moment.

Olimar in the second half was a really nice addition. It was good to see him defending the fact that Moss didn't need to change, at the end, even if it meant leaving her behind. They were a fun duo.

AND LOUIE! "Grade A troublemaker" indeed... I was waiting for him to show up and cause trouble the whole game, and he sure did! His memos in the voyage log are hilarious to read through (I particularly enjoyed the one about him planning to just make random nonsense up to use as a report to send to the President, since he's kind of just been vibing and enjoying the planet, rather than looking for Olimar) And goddamit, Louie, you've got to stop controlling final bosses!!! He's awful. (Never change, Louie)

Gameplay-wise, I think I definitely miss Pikmin 3's multiple captain system, but Oatchi can feel like a suitable replacement. Some Dandori challenges and night missions where it was optimal to control him separately definitely gave me back the feeling of piloting around three captains at once. "Go here" was definitely more of a thing I used because I was too lazy to find the way, as opposed to proper Dandori efficiency, though, on account of most commands being better if you want to send Oatchi or your captain somewhere.

In general, Oatchi is definitely a little OP too (I mean, I killed the final Empress Bulblax in one spicy-spray-fueled rush....), but is also really satisfying to control, so I won't complain too much. And I think the advantages you get from riding with him are interesting when you have to decide whether it's better to keep him with you for rushes and ease of traversal, or send him off to do something for multitasking, in Dandori challenges. He's a certified good boy.

Ice Pikmin were a wonderful new edition to the roster, I found. There was less incentive to just freeze water, rather than go in with blues, than I was expecting, which was good! It helped them to feel more balanced. The limited damage from them also helped, here, though definitely less so, because ice pikmin are, of course, still very much combat-viable. I've seen it suggested that creatures killed whilst frozen should not drop nectar/ spicy spray, and yeah, I agree there. Most of the time, that is not a disadvantage over using non-ice pikmin for the kill, and can also be actively advantageous. But they're not jarringly unbalanced as some other types have been before, imo, so I definitely think positively of them.

Night missions were way more fun than I expected! I went in with a lot of trepidation, but I love the general concept. It makes a lot of sense that when we finally get night missions, they're defensive endeavours, and we haven't just spent 3 games avoiding the surface at night for nothing. I enjoyed how they increased in difficulty by stacking and creating factors like the extra Lumiknoll, and Smokey Progg egg(s). (Also the Baldy Long Legs. Aghgh. It was a problem.) I didn't really find myself using items like the game kept trying to suggest, though. Only the occasional emergency lightning if something was at the Lumiknoll, or my usual spicy spray.

Glow Pikmin were really cool for the night missions, too. They have a great design, and their mechanics are definitely tailored excellently for night missions. Teleporting to the active player's location is a must-have, and Glow Mob keeps you in the habit of charging like you would usually rush really well. The glow seed mechanic for them was well appreciated, and the ten I made for the Cavern for a King were used to their fullest! (Not exactly like I was able to leave them at the sublevel entrance like I might with all the others...) I am a little sad how they completely invalidate blues in caves, but that's mostly because blues are my favourites; I only used them in the last cave anyway (Along with the blues, of course!) They are kinda just Bulbmin+, but that's fine; they're used uniquely

For the most part, I thought returning pikmin were handled well, too.

Reds got less use than I thought they would, but I think that's because of the three pikmin limit. (Why would I bring out reds for combat when I could just spicy spray the pikmin I actually need for overworld use?) Though their use in Giant's Hearth and the Frozen Inferno was really interesting, I will say.

Yellows felt like a proper staple for the first three or four areas, though did start getting less use, though I think that's just because areas stopped being designed for them. (I was definitely missing them in night missions for those Baldy Long Legs...)

I've already discussed blues a little, but I do appreciate how a lot of what water there was was tailored for using blues rather than wings, ice, or Oatchi. I think they could absolutely benefit from a secondary ability like most other types have, to give me a reason to use them in caves other than personal biases, and glow pikmin only make that more obvious.

Purple Pikmin are back, and I think their reworks were done well! A 1.5x damage multiplier instead of 2x, and lack of stun on impact make them considerably less OP when compared to Pikmin 2, whilst still retaining their core characteristics better than 3. Locking their onion behind a challenge most people will leave until later (people like me. I haven't actually done it yet, but I will) helps to keep them balanced too, so you won't just steamroll with a squad of all purples.

White Pikmin are back too, and whilst they, strictly speaking, only got nerfed, I still think they're pretty good here. Glow pikmin can't match their speed, and I think of their two abilities, that's the more valuable one, anyway, since poison isn't really used much until the final area.

Rock Pikmin cannot be matched by glow pikmin in any way, and are still as good as ever, though, woah, the final area really shafted them. You can't get them in the final cave? And you don't need them for anything? :( (maybe they know my defensive strategies of going in with only rocks to avoid being crushed too well...)

And Winged Pikmin aren't nerfed exactly (unless you count their ai being slightly wonky at times in their pathing for carrying things back), but they definitely have significantly less to do. Like rocks, they aren't in the final cave, though I think I definitely would have used them if they were, so maybe that's on me for not bringing them in.

Otherwise, I adored Dandori. I platinumed all the Pikmin 3 collect the treasure missions with my dad on the Wii U back in the day, and the Dandori challenges gave me that exact feeling again. I'm very excited to go through and platinum them all. (Though I think that might be a little easier than in 3, considering I found it fairly easy to platinum, or come very close to platinum many on the first try...)

Dandori battles were fun too! Nobody ever wanted to Bingo Battle me in Pikmin 3, but now I can have Olimar's trash AI! Yay? Seriously, Olimar's ai is probably a little too bad in some of the early Dandori battles, because it felt like he wasn't even trying. The Louie battles were really good, though. Those felt like an actual competition. (And the final Olimar battle, but that one to a lesser extent.)

I'll talk briefly about areas too, and say that, whilst I think they were lacking in variety compared to usual, I did very much still enjoy their gimmicks and map design. The Serene Shores are a great example of this, with the tide gimmick being fun to work around, and the sand castle overlooking the rest of the map being an excellent base.

As for the caves, the Pikmin 2 callbacks were wonderful (even if the Engulfed Castle did leave me terrified. Seriously, my only other Pikmin post before playing this game was me talking about being terrified of the Submerged Castle...), and I thought the new ones were cool too! The Subzero Sauna, Frozen Inferno, and Below-grade Discotheque, for example, with their interesting use of ice pikmin, use of red pikmin, and cool boss respectively.

Of course, the stand-out cave is the Cavern for a King, which, despite mostly just being a boss rush, has such creative ways of increasing difficulty on past bosses, that I have to praise it. It's incredible how just adding water can make the arachnorb bosses more challenging, and fighting the Smokey Progg without access to a proper glow mob definitely felt scary. The Ancient Sirehound was an excellent final boss too, with its gloom phase being actually decently challenging and intimidating. (Though I wish it had water and poison phases too, for completion's sake) It was definitely appropriate for the final cave!

I'd be remiss to not at least mention the music. I don't think I like the ost quite as much as I like Pikmin 3's (but that is a personal staple...), but that's not to say it's not great! There are still many stand-out tracks such as the tough enemy theme (which?? Just?? Went so hard???), the Groovy Long Legs's theme, Hero's Hideaway's theme, the Dandori challenge theme, and of course, the Ancient Sirehound's theme (with references to Pikmin 3's boss theme, my beloved), to name a few.

So yeah, it's a great game, and one I would definitely recommend :)

#Pikmin #Pikmin 4 #pikmin 4 spoilers #Whiskers rambles #Im so glad this post wasn't actually lost to the void you don't even understand #I will infodump about pikmin at anytime haha #(that's a threat probably)

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lotrmusical · 1 month ago

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and a few more!

the confession of charles linkworth

unsettlement: 6. 'If this poor earth-bound spirit had any communication to make to him, he certainly much preferred that it should be made at a distance' is an amusing character moment for the protag and also sums up my feelings on this story, because my favourite thing about it was the use of the telephone. you KNOW there's a ghost, you've seen it, you know who precisely it is and what it wants, you're waiting for it to phone you, and it's still scary when it does.

homoeroticism: 2. points for being a confirmed bachelor. i feel like this one is a missed opportunity given the themes of prison/justice/confessions/etc.

good story: 7. very solid. couple moments genuinely moved me.

the terror by night

unsettlement: 4. reading someone describe the experience of being afraid without cause is, perhaps, a hard thing to pull off effectively. or rather, this is a decent story that provoked sympathy and interest, but only a couple prickles of fear.

homoeroticism: 4. the fact of their living together is hugely overexplained

good story: 6. satisfying, with some good benson-flavoured sentences, and his trick of giving the narrator a personality through one or two tiny flicks of speech. 'Here are we two strong and stalwart persons, with as much cause for satisfaction with life as any you can mention, letting ourselves behave like worms.'

mrs amworth

unsettlement: 2. sorry, fred - maybe it's not you, it's me? then again, maybe it is you. admittedly i have a preference for ghosts rather than 'creatures' in horror, but you'd think that someone with the talent to write a scary ghost could also write a tolerably scary vampire narrative. and yet

homoeroticism: 5. what a waste of a perfectly good lesbian/gay friendship

good story: 5. i will admit i laughed out loud at her getting hit by a car. i think that should have been the end of the story. instead we slog on through a mundane 'dig up the body in the graveyard and stab it in the heart releasing fountains of blood'. sigh.

in the tube

unsettlement: 7. delightfully vivid and lingering

homoeroticism: 6. please, tell me more about the 'delicately delightful prospect' of being the only one to stay the night with your 'stimulating and suggestive companion' with his unusual perspective and his zest for life.

good story: 6. this is the first one i've ranked as scarier than it is good. priorities. the most 'different' thing about this one is the philosophising on time and eternity that it kicks off with, which i enjoyed enough for what it did to the atmosphere that i think it's a worthy inclusion in what would otherwise have been a fairly basic story. but it's a tradeoff pacing-wise for sure.

catching up on e f benson-posting under the cut

outside the door

unsettlement: 3. this is a perfectly good haunting, if only we'd get to experience it properly. instead he's doing the reporting thing again - let me recount the time my friend told me all about a ghost - and it makes for a tone that's too cosy and knowing to be properly frightening.

homoeroticism: 3. points for bothering to mention that the characters were reading the green carnation.

good story: 4. a bit too much hypothesising on the nature of hauntings for me without thematically connecting it to the specific experience. i enjoyed the characters' bants though

gavon's eve

unsettlement: 4. my immediate reaction to this was 'please, not more pictish roundhouses'. whatever dread a pictish roundhouse holds for fred benson, he is not doing it justice. luckily the actual horror in this one is witchcraft, which is a step up from 'the concept of a pictish roundhouse'; unfortunately i'm a harder sell on witches than i am on ghosts. couple little ghost-y moments though.

homoeroticism: 4. it isn't necessary to read the narrator and his friend as catty gays, but it's also not discouraged by the narrative. points for referring to the handsome scottish man as 'adonis of the north'.

good story: 5. coherent but not gripping

the bus-conductor

unsettlement: 7. i have to go rethink what's un-scary about 'outside the door' now, because this is another 'my friend tells you about a ghost' tale, but this one IS scary. maybe it's just that he deliberately gave hugh the quality of 'good storyteller' and the narrator is keen to listen quietly, instead of piping up with asides. that plus the weirdness and vividness of the imagery.

homoeroticism: 5. first things first: RECURRING CHARACTER SPOTTED - hello again hugh grainger from 'the gardener'! no mention of a wife in this one, so presumably this is a pre-margaret hugh. i do like him. and so, evidently, does our narrator. 'Hugh is about six feet high, and as broad as he is long.' 'I do not care for his theories, or for his similes, but when it comes to facts, to things that happened, I like him to be lengthy.' If You Say So. i would also like to remark on hugh being put in the room that he thinks is ordinarily the narrator's room, because there really was no reason for that whatsoever.

good story: 9. yep! banger! i think this one's had a couple adaptations, and you can see why. it merits it.

the man who went too far

unsettlement: 2. like 'negotium perambulans', this one is very rich with an eerie absence of fear. very strong in atmosphere without trying to evoke shivers. maybe your average 1912 reader would be more disturbed by this one? points given for the moment of horrible realisation that the 'final revelation' may be one of horror. unfortunately (spoilers), when it actually does happen, it's Trampled By Goat. it's hard to pull off horror when you're using phrases like 'frolicsome skippings'.

homoeroticism: 10. ten out of ten!!! what in the dorian gray! i need to go lie down! i can't even pick the gayest quotes, because the whole thing is absolutely sodden with homoeroticism.

good story: 8. this one is making me want to read literary criticism. it's not short and it's not tightly-paced; it definitely wallows. but given how atmospheric of a hammock it's wallowing in, i have no complaints.

the shootings of achnaleish

unsettlement: 2. this one is supernatural-flavoured folk 'horror' and frankly i have a suspicion it's not intended to be scary, because the protagonists are so obviously 'in the wrong' that you really can't help but hope they'll be burned in their beds by the locals.

homoeroticism: 1. nothing going on here whatsoever.

good story: 6. this started off SO strong, and then the ending lets it down completely. premise: great. pacing: great. it would have been so easy to resolve this plot in a way that would actually tie things together. instead it just sort of falls apart. it's infuriating

#mrs amworth was actually a bit embarrassing like did you have bills to pay or something fred. has a real 'i'll just churn this one out' vibe #also after 20 of these things i really feel like i need a bingo card to tick off the hallmarks of his spook stories. bc they really do recu #bensontober #gay belligerence

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camileeon · 3 years ago

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SPARKS FLY!

🍵- TO 500! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT EVERYONE!

🦋- (GN!Reader x Camilo Carlos Madrigal)

🍊- i just made something unexpected.. ANYWAY- A SPECIAL ONE FOR ALL OF US! Not gonna say anything else other than i love you all so much and im literally so grateful to have such an audience here on tumblr! ENJOY!! 💗

[•••]

Alright alright.. he was gonna do it. Though what if he messes up? Their name echoed in his head as his flustered thought swirled into a hurricane that never seemed to end, they were so pretty and he needed to tell them that but the problem was he couldn't bring himself to or even know how to.

Y/n, the best friend of the infamous Carlos Madrigal had found a way to strike one of the "feelings" arrow into his heart. Their friendship was confusing as others described, he would always be messing with them and tripping them over his foot so they could fall face first on the pavement. Or they would find a way to get a hold of the madrigal's maroon ruana for him to wear a completely different colored one for the day which they knew absolutely irritated him just by the thought of it.

The two also loved to playfully hit on eachother with weird statements and secretly tried to make one another blush that one time but it was totally platonic.. right? Reminiscing back to that one short but humorous conversation..

“ Tell me I'm pretty y/n, take this as a chance where you can admit how you feel about me.” the madrigal proudly puffed his chest while standing side by side with them, nudging them slightly.

“sure..~ you're pretty.. pretty fucking annoying, satisfied? you better shut up now.”

“Shut me up with those lips of yours.” He retorted,

“you're gross.”

“no you are.”

It eventually ended with them smacking him on the nape of his neck, tolerated by how he was or not, he was getting to their nerves.

Jumping back to the present, he had very little of a confidence whenever it came to the feelings and sappy stuff with romance. Sure he was good at flirting and flustering other people but he never actually dealt with it's reality. Zipping his lips about how he actually felt but had to tell someone eventually, spilling the news to a few of his friends but got nothing out of it other than teasing remarks and comments on him actually being a big softie when it came to them.

Even making the effot to going to the town's library to find a something that can give him a start on what to do to confess, looking through romance novels weren't his usually forte but did and would do anything when it came to them. But in the end feeling stumped or rather defeated, not having a clue on what to do before realizing that they would've appreciated something simple and less extravagant than the useless books he read stated. Working up to just be direct and straightforward about how he felt, nothing bad is going to happen if he gets rejected anyway, it may cause a hole in his heart that could be hurt for awhile but know would eventually get over it in due time.

Carlos had ambled around looking for them around the town square just to spot them with some other friend of theirs they had mentioned, feeling a slight burning flicker inside of him once he saw them with them. The madrigal knew nothing was wrong with that but why does he feel this way? he bit the skin inside his cheek and had waited for their friend to walk away so he could finally get to them, feeling rather restless and fidgety as he walked up to them having a smile on their face from the previous interaction. All the pining and denied emotions just for this.. hopefully it was gonna be worth it.

“F/n? Huh?”

“yeah they wanted to hang out for the day, what's up?” they questioned calmly, having all their focus on him. He seemed a bit odd, wasn't like his usual asshole-ish self.

“but why you..” his eyes wandered elsewhere as he mumbled under his breath, a silence intervened for a few seconds.

“why me? is there supposed to be a right answer for that..? Jealous?” they suggested as a joke before nudging his arm

“ he could've hung out with someone else, why does always everyone pick you to hang out with when you're the only one supposed to spend time with me.?” speaking sternly as he balled his hands into a fist.

All he said was true, though he never thought he would've said it out loud. Right in front of them. Blurting out all the things he said in one breath which left a flustered yet surprised expression on the other's face, picking up the puzzled pieces from how he acted and why he did so.

“Do you perhaps like someone.?” they continued to step on the sidewalk as the sky's hues alternated with orange to darker hues as it has gotten late.

Carlos stayed silent, nodding as a response to their answer “.. yes i do, they're very very.. close to you.” Speaking in a shy but loud tone just enough for the both of them to hear.

“wonder who it is..” they pondered playfully before a smile lit up their expression, feeling his hands on their shoulders before being pushed on the wall behind y/n and for him to near them. His face risen to a tinted glow which was now noticable to their face as well, the distance between them felt ecstatic. Like how sparks and fireworks flew to blur the world around them, only being the two who mattered at that moment.

“I'll save your wondering up for something else.. I'll tell you who though.. it's a secret only the both of us are supposed to know.” Carlos leaned closer to their ear to whisper as a smile appeared on his lips once he had gotten a good look at them.

“it's you.”

Bonus!!--- 🍊

“oh i know it's me, i've known ever since.” they spoke back with a triumphant gaze that was laid on the boy in front of them, his expression turning back into a slight bashful one. Not really surprised because he surely was obvious, that was also one of the reasons why they're his best friend. They could see the things that other people can't see when it came to him.. a sly smug expression joined his face, scoffing to respond

“ i hate how much i love you.”

“you have no idea, i love you most.” they responded, feelings the tips of their noses brush as they fell into eachother's arms once more, finally putting an end to the electric space with a kiss.

TAGLIST!:

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@camilolovesroxiie

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#carlos madrigal #camilo best madrigal #disney encanto #encanto fanfic #encanto headcanons #encanto x reader #camilo madrigal #camilo x reader #camilo madrigal x reader #camilo encanto x reader #encanto fic

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years ago

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I read Nietzsche years ago, but now - because we've come to live in a woke world, and wokeness, as Nietzsche himself would doubtless have pointed out, is so palpably derived from Christianity - he seems infinitely more shocking than he did.

- Tom Holland, Dominion: The Making of the Western Mind

Holland’s point is a simple one, our sense of ourselves - our Western identity - is derived less from Greek or Roman origins than from Christianity. Our language, our morality, our ethics, our sense of right and wrong, our sense of justice and so and so forth are all nourished from Christian roots. In our Western society, the language with which we debate secularism, atheism, human rights, or any other controversial subject are knowingly or unknowingly shaped by a uniquely Christian ethical world view.

It’s hard not to see a similarity to wokism (or wokeism or woke-ism, hmmm)), which contends that society is grotesquely unjust and, in fact, white supremacist. Those with power are privileged and perpetuate systemic racism, while those who are indigent and/or without social status are noble victims of the oppressive order. In the woke narrative, though, god has been replaced by the secular justice of the anti-racist crusader. Their efforts, not the intervention of a deity, is what will usher in an era of justice, overturning the corrupt world now inhabit. Although the puzzle Nietzsche sought to solve in “Genealogy of Morals” was not, of course, the origin and rise of wokism, his analysis of the triumph of Christianity is illuminating and quite useful. According to Nietzsche, the weak were bitterly envious of the powerful, but incapable of actually conquering them physically. Therefore, they created the conception of a deferred justice, one in which the wrongs of the world would be righted and turned the concept of “bad” into “evil.” They were not actually weak and impotent, but noble and oppressed. And the powerful were not righteous and aristocratic, but brutal, evil, and exploitative. We see here the basic narrative of apocalypticism and the basic outline of a psychological explanation for its appeal. People who have low status, whatever the cause, are generally reluctant to confess that they deserve their lowly position in society. And they will be attracted to narratives that claim that, in fact, they are not lowly because of they deserve to be, but rather because of some fundamental corruption in the universe, some deviation from the “right.” Wokism, like other apocalyptic narratives (e.g., some extremist strands of Judaism and Christianity, communism), thus attracts people who are or were low in status because it explains that they would/should be more elevated. But, Wokism, like Christianity after the imperial Constantine, is also an elite phenomenon. And this is where Nietzsche’s analysis, I think, sputters. Many hyper-educated people are also attracted to and ardently articulate and defend the doctrines of wokism. Surely, they aren’t bitter about their lack of status?

Instead, I think they are attracted to wokism for two reasons: One, because it functions as as a status system to distinguish educated elites from hoi polloi and two, because, like other religions, is provides a powerful justification for distinctions in status. It’s an elite form of virtue signalling. Status disparities cause tension in society. This, in fact, is the chief observation behind the appeal of apocalypticism for those low in prestige: It satisfies their grievances by suggesting that they will, in a just world, be elevated over the corrupt who now have status. Therefore, those who have status need to justify it to others and perhaps especially if they are egalitarians to themselves. Wokism serves this function by suggesting that their status is cosmically just because it is congruent with their righteousness. This happy thought also likely soothes their own vexatious reflections on the massive disparities between hoi polloi and themselves. No reason to feel guilty if status is earned through spiritual purity. Like any good ideology, wokism appeals to multiple factions in society at the same time. It appeals to those who have low status because it contends that the poor, the lowly, the “last” are actually noble victims of an intolerable evil. And when the just world of the future arrives, those who are now last will indeed be first. And it appeals to educated elites because it provides a rich signaling vocabulary that they can use to distinguish themselves from relatively uneducated whites while also justifying their status to others and to themselves.

Wokism, therefore, is both a philosophy of ressentiment and an elitist apologetic. No wonder it has proliferated so rapidly amongst the misguided middle classes intellectualised on emotion and grievance over reason and experience, truth and history.

#nietzsche #holland #tom holland #quote #christianity #western society #wokism #woke #social movements #sjw #social justice #antiracism #society #culture #ideology #philosophy

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hiroshikoi · 3 years ago

Text

Your Romantic Partner Cheating On You - Pile Three

I couldn’t copy-paste the rest of the readings in one post, so I have separated the rest of the piles into individual text posts.

Here’s the link to the original pick-a-pile post for you to choose from 3 piles if this isn’t yours!

3 • Pile Three

:. How would they cheat?

They would tell you about them feeling like there’s something missing in you guy’s relationship when it comes to them. They didn’t fully talk about it though, like there were three lines of dialogue from them and used that ‘conversation’ of yours as a “pass” to allow them to cheat on you 😶‍🌫️. Its like they were itching to get what they need (from you) and they “took initiative” and got it from someone else. “I told you we needed a break” they would noticeably spin this around on you when they just had to be patient, be more upfront, and tried harder with you rather than doing this. Its like they took the “easiest” solution out to their problem but was obviously not the best. I only seeing them doing this once and with one person though, and they’d tell you/show it in front of your face. I see them kissing someone else in front of you in a party and them literally video-calling their side-person right beside you, beating it 🤡, while you’re both in you guys’ shared bed or them doing it in you guys’ bedroom while you’re out but making sure you hear them doing it (exaggerated skin slapping, i also hear the person going along with it and purposely trying to anger you by moaning loudly). As if saying “this is your fault, so i should be allowed to do this, its your doing” (the person they’re f*cking might also flat-out say that to try to anger you too “its your fault!!!”)

Also i keep on sensing it so I’ll say it, your partner may be quite social and extroverted that they got a person so quickly its as if they already got a person in their phonebook labeled “person to cheat on my girl/man with” 🤡 (they don’t, this would just be a random person. i’m getting a random person they may have got from a mall.. not even a club or some typical place you’d get romantic interests from)

:. Why would they cheat?

I touched on this in the previous question, but from an outside looking in perspective… they would cheat because they didn’t try hard enough. They were impatient, and didn’t choose to talk to you more to resolve this problem of theirs. There would be little things that would annoy them/“test their patience” with you that it all came together and caused him to do this. They lack the skill of dealing with their own inner troubles inside. They’re not very contemplative… not enough to avoid such “outbursts” such as this. They may not always say exactly what they want or what is bothering them, therefore again, their issues become unresolved until they can’t take it anymore. Looking at the picture you’ve chosen… metaphorically.. rather than taking a stormy weather as an opportunity to play in the rain or play indoor games with you, they focused on the fact that they can’t be doing outdoor activities.

🎶 10-20-40 by Rina Sawayama || They may be more social and extroverted and because of that, it may have helped with them getting into a romantic relationship with you (or with anyone for that matter). They’re upfront about the obvious and predominant emotions they would feel for someone else, and therefore confess to them and do all those things that comes with liking someone. But… because they don’t know themselves well, then they don’t know the core things that they want or need for them to be satisfied in an emotional connection. It may have been okay with the beginnings of the relationship (especially with their personality being more social & extroverted & upfront), but as it goes deeper.. it becomes a problem. The reason why they would cheat on you is because they didn’t go deep into themselves and help you help them.

:. How will you find it out? Will you find it out?

Again, I mentioned this previously but you’d find out by them telling you or literally showing it in front of you. It’d probably be more troubling if you didn’t know about it, because they’d be taunting you in the way your partner would go about it. Even though its not all the way as if they’re blowing on air trumpets with the signs “I’m Cheating On You!”, there’s definitely not really room for… much doubt lmao. Its like if you were to ask them where they’re going with perfume on and such, all dressed up at 9pm, they’d be like “I’m gonna go see someone” 👁👄👁.

🎶 I Know Places by Taylor Swift || Ohmygod… you know they’d probably be on the phone with their side-person with you in the room somewhere with them and they’d be all like “oh yeah, that’s fine. I know what time she/he leaves for work, we can just do it in here by the time actually.”

their side-person *mouth agape and confused probably*: “are.. you sure??”

your partner: “yeah”

Where’s all this openness go when the time comes where its the most needed? I’m trying to make this a bit longer to try to matchup with the lengths of the other piles but its just so straightforward that no other explanation is needed. “Shameless” would probably be the word for your partner, “the audacity”.

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diedbutterflies69 · 3 years ago

Text

Cars- Bang Chan imagine

Contains: explicit sexual contact, chan as hot rich hotel owner, car sex, slight degradation, blowjob, fingering, etc

Minors don't interct.

Working in one of the most expensive hotels in the country was something you never expected. You were just a normal student who was struggling to meet deadlines and pay for tuitions and so doing many part time jobs. A law student washing dishes in random restaurant and drooling over food, observing the way those chefs used to work with wok , deep fried food, the process fascinated you so much. Even though you were familiar with cooking since a young age it was rather more like responsibility, a chore. And that's how you learned cooking by slowly observing the chefs and utube videos, as changing the entire career dreams at the last year was little too wild and impossible. But struggles eventually leads to happiness, the owner of one of the restaurant you used to work at got surprisingly close with you ,her name lucy a single divorced hot milf she thaught you many skills and tricks with cooking. Your last straw before quitting the law school was getting failed . And just like that a blessing in disguise. She noticed how dishearted you were and then decided to give you the greatest opportunity in your life.

Working in God's menu was every chef's dream, and Lucy made your dream come true. The owner and main chef of God's menu Bang Chan was close with Lucy and just by that using some connections you got yourself inside that paradise, but Chan was a total boomer with you, he didn't wanted to give you job at the first place as you lacked experience and knowledge but he valued friendships way too much to deny Lucy.

Chan was always hard on you, constantly making you work with him, teaching the mystery behind flavours, making you memorize foreign cuisine recipes, you sweared you didn't even struggled that much in law school as there was no one lecture you and expect from you. He acted all tough just to make you perfect and eventually became close, you fell in the pit of one sided love the moment Chan agreed to hire you. What you adored most about Chan was how he always made sure to not make you panic while being near fire, never told you to hurry while cutting vegetables. His this small gestures meant so much too you. And in span of 7 months that baby was finally your boyfriend. Chan was someone who followed his heart and just like that, he confessed in the most cheesiest way possible. And here you are today a great chef with lot of knowledge and a handsome, caring and loving boyfriend. 3 years of loving relationship.

"baby~~ " you said while hugging your boyfriend from the back who was too invested in making a 4 tower cake for his best friend's wedding even though he wasn't much experienced with baking whatever he tried doing was no less than perfection.

"yes, baby? Need anything?", Chan asked you. Even though you have been listening to his sweet honey voice since years it never failed to make your heart flutter.

"stop working now, it's 2:30 am let's go home now", you whined slightly tipping on toes and kissing Chan's neck. Getting a small hum from your boyfriend.

"just few more minutes babe", Chan said turning back and softly giving pecking your forehead . You huffed in response being too tired of your boyfriend's night owl tendencies, you went back to the table and singing a good night in most extra way possible. Chan just smiled at his girlfriend, he too wanted to go home and just cuddle with you but work was trash .

Finally looking at clock it was 3 :15 something, his work finally done. After cleaning up every thing,washing the dishes and shoving the massive cake into refrigerator carefully, Chan happily made his way to you. He too saying baby~ in most extra way possible, he was an true night owl no matter how much he worked at nights without you being by his side he wasn't able to fall asleep. A habit he picked up 3 years ago.

"get up, it's 5 am", Chan whispered into your ear while aggressively moving you to make you leave your dreamland.

"aggh, good morning the love of my life", you said slowly leaving your subconscious world. Even in slight unconscious mind you were flirty and cheesy.

"good morning, it's 5 A.M ", Chan again told you a wrong time just messing up with you.

"what the fuck", you yelled being angry on your boyfriend's crazy work habits , you were glaring at him till he bought his his wrist infront of your face . His watch reading 3 : 08 , being confused and worried for your wrong vision you looked at the wall clock that to read 3:07 am.finally realising you have been scammed.

" you fucking lier", you yelled at Chan for pranking you, but you were glad that he finished the work soon.

"heheh", Chan laughed, he was too cute for you.

"let's just go home", you said trying to keep a poker face, packing your stuff then gripping Chan's hand and walking out of the space.

Going down through the elevator, Chan unleashing his 50 shades enthusiast.

"What is it about elevators?" Saying this and immediately pulling you into a deep kiss, he tasted like chocolate probably from the previous cake flavours, his tongue feeling so good while exploring your mouth, one hand at the back of your neck and the other interlocked with yours. His lips always felt like heaven.

He broke the kiss as the door opened, he adjusted your hair and outfit and locking his eyes with you giving you a warm smile, fully a contradiction to his previous action. This man's duality always suprised you.

"let's go baby~", Chan said getting out of elevator with you, hands interlocked moving back and forth, if someone saw you both they would probably think that you both are possessed, smiling and jumping like kids finally reached the car.

"let me open the door for you", Chan said with a smirk while opening the car door for you , there was not a single human present in the parking lot, creepy vibes but perfect for your both future activities. Chan entered the car and stared at you in the most innocent way possible.

"what?", You asked him giving him the same innocent eyes.

"babe, the kiss made me hard", Chan admitted almost shamelessly his eyes pointing at his pants , and yes it was a great hot site too notice.

"will you melt, till we reach home?", You asked Chan looking into his eyes hands slowly creeping to his thighs dangerously close to the not so safe zone.

"I would rather burst here than melt till we reach home", Chan said holding your hand bringing it straight over his memeber, you blushed deeply at his actions.

"Come on babe, we had done Car sex multiple times", Chan said making you blush and wet down there even more. You got a little too needy as the memories of Chan fucking you ruthlessly on the back site of the car came to your mind. Your hand still palming his cock through pants.

"hop on the backseat", you said almost breathlessly, Chan smirking at your needy , horny State. You both went on the backseat to make a great mess over there .

"aaah" , you moaned loudly as Chan slapped your left boob while sucking your neck. His teeth never failed at marking you all over, his touch was heaven especially whenever he squeezed the back of your neck or roughly groped those boobs. Detaching himself from your neck he gripped your neck in an erotically painful way and forcing you on your knees.

"Suck, use that mouth atleast one time for a good cause", Chan said , his degrading voice mixed with heavy lust. Nodding at his words , without wasting any time you bought your hands to undid his belt and zipper . Palming him through his boxers and finally releasing it from all restraints, you slowly put hs cock inside your mouth, he was really really hard. A fucking long and thick cock he had, you not being able to take him even half way as the position was slightly painful but nevertheless you started bopping your head up and down and palming the remaining with your hands. His loud groans and moans indicated that he was satisfied enough, you increased your speed, occassionally hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper every time. He gripped your head as he was close , he started to move your mouth as he pleased making you gag non stop, it hurted but you liked it so much. " You feel so fucking good, all mine", Chan said breathlessly after a final thrust and empting himself inside your mouth, his cum feeling your mouth in escasty. You sucked off every single drop not wasting anything.

Chan lifted you up from the car floor and made you sit on his lap. You looking fully fucked out, with clothes misplaced and mouth dripping with saliva and his liquid , black mascara tears running down.

"My precious slut", Chan said while making his way to your panties, your jeans were already removed a long ago.

"you want my fingers? Hmm?" Chan said as his fingers were slowly entering your pussy , his cold hands making you shiver .

"yes please sir" , you begged voice laced up with pure desperation and needily grinding on his fingers and thighs. Chan smirked again at you.

"what you want more, my fingers or my cock?" Chan made gave you 2 choices both of them heaven.

"your cock, sir please" You begged again. He finally smiles at you pure ill intention smile.

"Since you are too good girl, I should give you whatever you want", Chan said and finally bought his cock towards your tight leaking cunt slowly entering himself inside you.

"ride", Chan said and you felt like being on cloud nine. Slowly moving your hips up and down in decent speed . His cock fitted so well inside of you, it was pure bliss for you.

But without a warning Chan bought his hands towards your clit and pinching it making your whole body jolt in overstimulation.

" babe,you are too good, so deserve my fingers too", Chan said with a sadistic smile.

It's gonna be a long morning.

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #bangchan #bangchan smut #skz #skz chan x reader #chan smut

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stylistiquements · 3 years ago

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Day 9 : Scronch'love.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : a lovely afternoon and an ancestral question; when are you going to join the dream smp?

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.5k

𐐪𐑂 Warning : swearing

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

“Have you been here for a long time?”

Time bends and twists into unknowns shapes when well spent. So, you’re so not sure. Long enough for your fairy garden to start looking like at least a proper garden, long enough for your feet to start fidgeting, brushing against the soft fabric of the blanket ever so slightly and softly.

“Can you share your screen?”

“I’m just picking flowers, there’s nothing much to see,” you warn but it never does the proper job.

“That’s fine, I like watching you play.”

“Oh, do you now?”

“Yeah. You’ve been playing for years and you’re still dog water. It's almost soothing,” you hear him grin through the silkiness of his voice.

You smile evasively, palm gripping the mouse and executing on memory. Soon, Sapnap’s satisfied noises hovers and everything is just how it’s supposed to be. You spend a while humming the music of days and nights of the game while building your project. Sap helps from time to time, giving advice when his attention is there and leaving trails of compliments on his way. You don’t think the garden is necessarily that good, you don’t mind either.

“Do you think the tree should go on the left or the right of the pond?” You ask, fingers drumming back and forth between the two options. Right he says. "What about the roses, do I plant some or not?"

“It’s just a detail, don’t hurt your brain too much on that,” he says in a light tone, but you disagree.

“Details are what make things important. Like when you remember I prefer warm pillows so you give me yours, it’s just a detail but it makes me happy.”

“Of course I do; you’re a baby,” he murmurs teasingly.

With an arched eyebrow, you retort, “says you,” and silence follows for a second as you plant the tree on the right of the pond.

“Yeah, Dream already made sure I was aware of that.”

“Not sure why the piss baby thinks he’s qualified to have this conversation, buddy,” you note and Sap chuckles are as vivid as contagious. “Why would he call you a baby anyway? What have you done?”

“I-I’m not telling you.” As soon as the mumbles fades, your phone sends loud vibrations on your desk. You abandon your character to the night and the wildness, picking the phone as you murmur a low oh, okay. Whether it’s to your phone or Sapnap, that, isn’t really clear. Still, Sapnap’s words sound more distant, more of what wonders are made of. On the screen, a twitter notification of a certain Karl Jacobs.

“You’re not even listening to me anymore,” Sapnap whines.

“I don’t listen to whiny babies, sorry.”

“We’re on the verge of divorce, yn and it’s your fault.”

A scoff skitters out through teasing lips, “But you still talk about me all the time, don’t you?” Your voice drags through different lands, unknown and musky.

“So what?” He splutters all awkward like it’s some kind of confidence that shouldn’t have left his thoughts and, somehow, you’re surprised the almighty confidence has left the game. “Who said that?”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re obsessed with me, admit it,” you demand and though you don’t notice it, too tangled with the moment, the atmosphere is tinted with a different nuance like it’s suddenly dawn at the end of a summer party.

“So are you.”

Now, your heart drums a strange yet familiar rhythm. Something made of secrets and uncertainty, something you decided to leave unnamed a long time ago. Sapnap, you reason, can’t be lied to. He knows better than words half meant, half made up and it’s annoying, really, but he just does somehow. If you dare to lie, he would know and then it would be even more annoying.

“Yeah, you’re living in my head rent free but at least I’m not trying to hide it.” No answer. You peek at the game, you’ve been slain by a spider. “Karl said that,” you resign yourself. “He said he was about to join the vc by the way.”

Before the conversation can carry on, the sound of Karl joining the call resonates. Being in this Discord server is like living in a house with 10 siblings, that’s what you understand from the way Sap exhales heavily.

“Oh, I am interrupting something?” Karl says, struck by a peculiar energy.

“Besties time Karl, besties time,” Sapnap mumbles beneath his breath and it chimes a little like disappointment.

“Well, too bad I guess,” Karl exclaims. “It's about time I meet miss Bunnyshow.”

Karl is like that gif of a cat sitting in a tiny box with the caption “if it fits, I sit”.

“Does that mean our passive aggressive subweet arc is over?” You ask, faking the dejection when your smile grows wide.

“Oh god, I hope not. That’s my favorite part of the day.”

"It means a lot to me. Especially coming from my comfort streamer Karl Jacobs," you confess.

Satisfied, your attention gets back on the game; flowers rooting gracefully into the dirt and hives ready to host the beloved honey bugs as Karl and Sap catch up on time being apart. Everything is quiet and peaceful like the end of an afternoon well spent.

“I like your garden,” Karl points out and you hum a thank you beneath your breath.

“So you can take Karl’s compliments but not mine.”

“We’re besties you’re honor. Sapnap you can leave now, thank you,” Karl giggles and you follow along.

“Sorry Karl, there’s only room for one man in my heart and that has to be Sapnap.”

He fakes a cry to keep the theatrics before adding without transitions, “You know if you asked Dream he’d probably let you on the SMP.”

“No thanks,” you grin.

“Sapnap, your girl doesn’t want to play with us.”

“She’s already been whitelisted for months now,” Sapnap informs but fails to comment on the first part of the complaint.

He’s not lying, but you feel like it says more about Dream’s stubbornness than it says about you. As for your best friend, he understands better than anyone that wish for privacy and it’s something made of respect like yours for his career. You’d rather see him shaped by all the light than being touched by a glimpse of it. He does, after all, deserves it all. So, that’s the contract you made with yourself because it made sense; being a supportive shadow. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you’ve never considered streaming before. It’s that it’s his world more than yours.

Karl, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to think the same way, “This is unacceptable, I gotta send a few texts.”

“Lost cause, dude, lost cause,” you grin but stubbornness seems to be a pre required trait for those mcyts.

Before you have time to find a suitable comment about the newborn group chat, a new person joins the call and Sapnap's annoyance is even more palpable, "No fucking way dude. We can't even have a second of peace on this server."

"Why would you be in a discord call if you want peace. You're just dumb," Quackity retorts with an energy he and he only can ever own.

Then George joins and Dream follows on his heels and soon your ears are filled with conversations that are as loud as scattered. Your shoulders sink in the back of your chair as soft fingers try to brush the upcoming migraine away. This is why you can't join the SMP; -not really but still- too much energy that has to be processed at all time. And you should know better, being friend with a very chaotic boy for the last 15 years, but you're not somehow.

"No, fuck that," Sapnap mutters. "I'm out."

"You can't leave now we have things to discuss," George exclaims. "Bunny, explain to me how Sapnap's proposition is more appealing than mine."

"Because I know her more than you do," he defends, and he's right. Money isn't of you interest. Love, on the other hand...

"Because she's like scronch'love," Karl giggles mindlessly.

"The fuck does scronch'love mean?" You ask, amused.

"It's very simple," Quackity intervenes. "If I offered you the same thing, would you even consider it?"

"Of course I would. What kind of question is that?"

"Fine. So, if Sapnap keeps his offer, here is mine; you become the president of Las Nevadas in addition to what he said."

"What?" Sapnap takes offense.

The call brims with an agitated confusion as you smile deviously, heels rooted into the floor to make your chair spin lightly and your fingers drum on your desk.

"I don't think you wanna do that," George corrects.

"Yeah, you absolutely don't," you confirm.

"Fine," he retorts. "So Sapnap's offer plus a Las Nevadas citizenship. How does that sound?"

"Like an offer I'll confider," you sigh. "So who's scronch'love now?"

"Still you," Dream answers. "Except you're also a big dummy."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

A/N : helloooo,, how are you??? this part very self indulgent and I think this fic will be in general but I hope you liked it anyway. I love the idea of c!quackity always being too much and always having something to add to be even more over the top. I'm having more trouble than I thought about Bunny's and Sap's friendship because I want them to have a very special friendship but I hope it appears as such. idk. lmk what you think and thank you for reading it it makes me very happy <3 Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge ; @tinyegg ; @qnfdnf ; @paintingpetalsforyou ; @notjennaleigh ; @victoria-a567 ; @washy-washy ; @moneybagmarvel ;

#129 days #Sapnap smau #sapnap x reader #smau #social media au #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n #mcyt smau #sapnap series #sapnap fluff #mcyt x reader

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