#* . ✦ . ˚ ooc : ( teary eyed trash. )

[renlios]

friends , i am so fed up of being tired. i just want to write

[enjoythesilentworld]

wille :(

I originally wrote this for day 7 (Erik) of Wille's month but ended up binning it and I'm much happier with the one I ended up posting..

bUt, I started over because I was like "hmm Idk this might be too OOC", then i remembered that Wille kicked over instruments in the music room, trashed his birthday presents, and literally held a g*n up to August's face, so I thought "ok maybe not too OOC".

now this is just a very sad drabble of what could be a missing moment starting right after s3e5 ends (but what i hope is not actually a missing moment because it is Very Sad).

read below the cut if you're interested... sorry... (cw: wille is very upset and throws some stuff)

“My mamá’s here,” Simon said softly. As he collected his things and moved towards the door, Wille stood from the bed. He watched Simon take a deep breath, shoulders rising then falling into a slump. One step through the door frame and Wille followed. How could he not? If Simon was really leaving, he had to–

Simon turned back and met Wille’s eye, then looked away. He gave a slight shake of his head. Wille froze in his spot. Simon didn’t turn back again. The click of the door closing was deafening in his quiet bedroom. 

Thinking back, Wille couldn’t remember how long he stood there. He also couldn’t remember how he ended up in Erik’s room, but he did. Somehow, he came back into his body and found himself standing, barefoot and teary-eyed in his brother’s room. He hadn’t been in there in months. Everything still looked exactly the same. The same perfectly made bed, the same perfectly crisp military jacket, the same perfectly organized desk. Everything exactly the same except now Wille saw it in a new light. It was all too perfect to be real. There were secrets in the closet, tucked under the mattress, buried in the curtains. He thought back to the phone call, the way his father had praised Erik, had said he didn’t have that same darkness. He thought back to the dinner, the way his mother had only talked about Erik, how she couldn’t even look at him. He thought, too, back to all those times he’d heard Erik laugh at August’s offensive jokes. 

Everything in the fucking world was fake, even Erik. The knowledge that he’d suffered so much trying to live up to his brother’s perfect standard. All the disapproving looks from Mamma, the ‘stop being so selfish’ from Erik. His brother had told him he could trust August and that was a lie. He’d said to listen to the third years and that was a death wish. He was doubting everything now. Would Erik have even cared about the video? Would he have sided with Mamma? He knew he was just working himself up; too exhausted, too many emotions after such an awful day, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Wille stepped forward and angrily ripped back the sheets of the bed, sending pillows flying. He pushed over the desk chair. He grabbed a portrait of some old noble off the wall and chucked it. He kicked at the wall, tore at the curtains. He sobbed and yelled and knocked a picture frame off the desk. Tiny shards of glass went skittering across the room. He grabbed the stupid frog prince ceramic from Erik's desk. He raised it above his head, gearing up to smash it on the ground.

When he looked up, he met his own eyes in the mirror. Eyes swollen, face red and streaked with tears, he tried to look away but couldn’t. Everywhere else there were pictures of him, or him and Erik, as children. He and Wille, practically babies, crawling on a fence somewhere outside. Him, climbing on a playground, holding a toy. He and Wille, arms around each other, laughing. 

Wille wanted to punch the mirror. He wanted to feel it shatter under his hands and to send the pictures falling to the ground. He wanted to scream. He wanted his fucking brother back. He wanted to ask Erik about the initiation, about the video, about the truth.  

He couldn’t have those things though, and would never get them. 

He put the frog prince back on the desk.

Slowly, he picked his way across the floor. 

Some hours later in the early-early morning, a housekeeper found him there, surrounded by broken glass, curled up in Erik’s bed, asleep on top of the messy sheets. 

[stcrlght]

in  desperate  need  of  more  princess  juliet  threads  .   let  ur  muses  come  to  stormhold  or  let  her  visit  ur  muse’s  kingdom  .   she’ll  literally  mingle  with  anyone  regardless  of  their  title  so  they  don’t  have  to  be  royal  either   👀

[rvkah]

please  hit  the  heart  for  a  one  liner  /  lyrical  starter  !

[redeadepression]

John, Arthur and Abi for Headcanon C (also I love you all your hard work hunty) - @arthurs-atonement 💜💜

Thank you so much, that honestly means the world to me ♥

~~~~~~~~~~

Questions from this post

Arthur

Headcanon A:  realistic

Arthur is Bi ya’ll. It’s canon, I don’t make the rules. He realised he likes boys at a young age but was confused AF because he also liked girls as he was ‘supposed to’. In his late teens he fooled around with another boy in secret. When Dutch found out, he told him it ‘ wasn’t proper’ and that he needed to end it. They inexplicably moved camp shortly after that.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Arthur lies to people about his food. He brings back a really expensive packet of jerky from town and when people ask about it he tells them it’s offal so he doesn’t have to share. That chocolate he’s eating? Yeah it’s chilli flavour, you wouldn’t like it. The candy? Salted, it’s pretty gross.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Arthur misses him Mother. Like, really, really misses his Mother. Even as an adult he finds himself teary eyed thinking about her. Bessie was a nice substitute while she was alive but nothing could compare to his RL Mama, he misses every day. :(

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

My fave completely unrealistic and OOC HC for Arthur is that he enjoys spending time with working girls. Especially when he’s younger. He enjoys a good fuck. It’s an outlet for him and helps calm his violet outbursts. But by the time he reaches 36 and we approach the canon story he’s calmed right down with that shit. He’s learnt the value of a real relationship and only indulges when he starts becoming violent or aggressive towards his friends and family.

~~~~~~~~~

John

Headcanon A:  realistic

John has a sweet tooth. He really, really likes chocolate and cake. The type of person to buy a packet of biscuits to ‘share’ and eats the whole thing by accident while reading. You need to cut a cake directly in half and then leave a note on your half saying “Fuck off you ate yours already” so he knows you’re keeping track and leaves your portion alone.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Idk if it’s really hilarious but I HC hard that John is allergic to fish. He gets really itchy and rashy if he eats it and he think this is totally normal for an embarrassing number of years before he mentions to someone at dinner how he loves fish, just the itching after really sucks and they’re like “Yeah that doesn’t happen to everyone else. You’re obviously allergic.”

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

John has frequent moments of feeling heartbroken for no particular reason. Whether it stems from his childhood trauma or feelings of inadequacy and helplessness as an adult he’s never sure. All he knows is the feeling of soul-crushing sadness always sneaks up on him when he least expects it and he shoves it right back down before it bubbles back up as anger and aggression.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

So John is obviously an excellent sharpshooter and definitely doesn’t need glasses. But what if he did? Completely disregarding canon because I find glasses sexy. He definitely needs them and doesn’t ever wear them because he thinks he looks dumb.

~~~~~~~~~~

Abigail

Headcanon A:  realistic

She is super self-conscious about the fact she can’t read. She pretends to be able to read in social situations. She won’t let John order for her at a restaurant. She stares at the menu and points confidently to who fucking knows what and says something along the lines of “This goods fantastic.” and then has to deal with the fact she has no idea wtf she’s getting for dinner and John’s food always looks better.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

When she drinks, she gets white-girl wasted. Like, proper trashed. Slurring her words, breathing in people’s ears as she slurs about how much they mean to her while she’s clinging to their shoulders. Making a fucking MESS of the outhouse because she doesn’t want to sit on the seat. Passing out in the gutter and being carried home by someone. Wakes up covered in vomit with only one shoe and forever wonders where the other one went.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Abigail resents both John and Jack for changing her life completely. She actually didn’t mind being a working girl and took all the precautions to protect against pregnancy. A lot of her aggression towards John in early game comes from a place of feeling like a single parent and having it not be fair that her life changed and his didn’t. Although she makes out it’s about feeling bad for Jack. She DOES feel terrible for Jack but deep down she also resents him a little and is riddled with guilt because she knows he can’t help being born. She beats herself up A LOT for those feelings.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Unrealistic and OOC HC for Abigail is that she wants an open relationship with John. She feels trapped in their marriage and wants to explore other options without giving up the security of him providing for her. She makes out that he’s not giving her everything she needs in their relationship as an excuse to sleep with other people. 

Send me a character!!

[luvleekaotix-imagines]

dead ends (Jason Todd x Reader)

A/N: -ish? Its more like not-secret, avoiding-whats-going-on, mutual-pining. Sorry if it’s ooc, this is like my first foray into this much beloved fandom and I’m smol and scared. maybe pretend this trash doesn’t exist ahhaahah this is the most self-conscious i’ve been posting something in forever

✤✤✤✤✤✤

‘Dropping by later’

That was about as much warning as you were going to get from him; granted it was a lot better than last time when you found him bleeding out on your floor because he didn’t want to bleed out on your couch.

How considerate.

“Hey, can you tell Maz I can’t make the team dinner tonight?” You sighed in resignation and leaned back in your seat to catch you co-worker’s eye. “The thing I said might come up just came up.”

Your co-worker pouted. “Alright. Sucks though, we were hoping you’d make this one. Can I ask what’s come up?”

For a split second you considered coming up with another lie, but you instead decided to tell the truth. “Just going home to see if there’s a violent vigilante bleeding out in my apartment again. Gonna patch that sucker up and probably feed him.”

“Oh man, living the dream.” The co-worker rolled their eyes and replied to your unbelievable truth with sarcasm. “Fine, don’t tell me. Make sure you come to the next dinner though. Team bonding and all that.”

Thank god they thought you were joking. You weren’t sure what you’d do if they actually believed you.

✤✤✤✤✤✤

‘Later’ was a vague as all fuck time frame. ‘Later’ meant any time from when the message was sent, to the time he actually showed up. Sometimes he was already in your apartment by the time you got home. Sometimes you woke up in the morning to see him passed out somewhere outside your bedroom. There were even times you’d wake up to missing food and a note somewhere with a hastily scrawled ‘sorry, next time’ note.

You had picked up some groceries on the way home. He picked a good time to visit, you supposed. You had run out of leftovers, so you had to cook. When you reached the door to your apartment you paused and stared at the door knob before reaching for your key.

What were you doing? When did this become a normal thing?

You opened the door and stepped inside surprised-but-not-really-surprised to see Jason Todd standing in your kitchen with a piece of toast half crammed into his mouth. There were bruises on his face, some fresh, some fading, though he still managed a boyish, crumb ridden grin in your direction.

Fuck it all to hell, when did you develop feelings for him?

“Did you just eat the last of my bread?” You shut the door behind you and managed to bury whatever shaky feelings that rose beneath a veil of indignation.

“Yeah? But you bought more.” Jason returned your non-existent greeting with a pointed look at the bag on your arms. There was a loaf of bread poking out the top. He dusted the crumbs off his fingers over the sink before leaving the kitchen to walk towards you.

Why did he have to look at you like that?

“You had no idea I was going to get more bread.” When he was close enough you reached up to brush some crumbs off his face and wipe it off on his vigilante gear. Your fingers brushed over the bright red insignia and you swallowed a lump on your throat. It was a good-bad reminder of the reality of things.

Jason opened his mouth, probably to snark at you some more, but he held his tongue as he felt your gaze roam over the injuries on his face. He caught your wrist just before you could touch them. The first few times he had let you check because you seemed so worried and it had been awhile since he knew what it was like for someone to worry over him like that. Recently he found it was probably better if he stopped you. 

Better for both of you.

“Well, at least you aren’t bleeding this time.” You pulled yourself out of his gentle grip and moved towards the kitchen, away from him because it was better if you didn’t worry or do anything caring or something that would make him leave faster than you wanted him to. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of stuff—” Before he could give any kind of sarcastic reply you raised a hand. “Rhetorical question. I know you know.”

There wasn’t anything substantial to talk about. You couldn’t ask about his day, that was a stupid thing to ask. You couldn’t ask how he was, that was another very stupid thing to ask. You knew what each of those answers were like. Small talk was something you had become very good at after befriending—if you could call it that—Jason Todd.

The truth of everything was that neither of you really knew how it had gotten to the point where he would drop in to ‘visit’ you. Jason wasn’t one to rely on anyone, but it only took one time—you helped him once—and some how it became a thing. There was no ‘x amount of days to form a habit’ with you. 

It was once. The first time he told himself he would accept your help and never again. It’s what he’s been telling himself ever since.

There was a moment after you had finished cooking dinner in silence that something cracked in you. Usually it would happen after Jason was gone, but this time was different. You very gently put the utensil in your hand down and stalked towards your room. “I gotta get changed.” You were still in your work clothes. It was a good excuse.

You quietly shut your door and sat on your bed in the dark. Some tears slipped from your eyes, you sniffled once before taking a deep breath to calm down. There was no point in worrying or crying or saying something because everything was a dead end with him. It didn’t matter how you felt or how he felt or how good or bad things were.

He was who he was. Jason Todd. Red Hood. Vigilante. There was always something to fight and there was no time to really stop. It was too dangerous to have good things in his life. It was better to shut everything out. It made sense, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt some days. 

The funny thing was that you knew if he was any different—not a vigilante, less violent, less stubborn, less broken—you wouldn’t have felt the same because he wouldn’t be him.

There was a knock at your door. “I’m coming in.” Jason didn’t exactly ask for permission as he opened the door to spot you teary eyed on your bed. The light from outside chased away the darkness for a moment before he stepped inside and closed the door to shut it out again.

The bed dipped as he carefully sat beside you in the dark. His leg pressed against yours, as did his shoulder. You couldn’t feel any warmth through the thick, protective layers of his clothing. “Sorry.” It was all he could offer.

You laughed quietly. “No you aren’t, Jason. You aren’t in the least bit sorry.” And it was fine that he wasn’t. The two of you sat in silence again. He knew how you felt about him and you were pretty sure you knew how he felt about you too.

But it was a dead end.

The back of his hand brushed against yours. You let your head drop a little to rest on his shoulder and you felt him rest on you. The careful actions crossed the lines he had drawn to protect the both of you, but in the dark where neither of you could really see anything, you could pretend it wasn’t happening. 

After he was gone, you’d pretend that this moment happened in your imagination; that you hadn’t felt any warmth or any kind of tenderness from the simple contact from his hand.

“I hate you.” You muttered. You didn’t.

“Yeah.” Jason responded. You could hear his smile. “I kinda hate me too.” He hated a lot of things about his life, but the one thing he couldn’t and wouldn’t hate was you. Not that he would ever tell.

At least not yet.

I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me 

✤✤✤✤✤✤

♥   masterlist   ♥   If you like my work, please consider buying me a coffee :)

[renlios]

well , i think it's safe to say that the brat is back for a little while at least !

[renlios]

am going to attempt to get a lil' queue here going ! pls wish me luck .

[renlios]

also here's a lil' reverse meme call , so hit the heart if you'd like some memes sent your way 👀

[renlios]

𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝚄𝙽.

what’s your phone wallpaper : i have chappe.l roa.n fanart as my lock screen and then a still from her pin.k pon.y cl.ub music video as my background !

last song you listened to : the battle - harry gregson-james ( i've been listening to my writing playlist lol )

currently reading : th.e sc.orch trial.s - jam.es dash.ner

last movie : uhhhh froze.n 2 or eve.r aft.er ( idr which )

last show : gos.sip g.irl !

what are you wearing right now : joggers and a fleece bc i'm in cosy hours

piercings / tattoos ? : i have my ears pierced & used to have my nose pierced but it's healed up now and i'm too baby now to get it redone </3

glasses ? contacts ? : technically glasses but i need to get my eyes checked again lol

last thing you ate ? : walkers thai sweet chilli sensations 😌

favourite colour(s) : pink & green are probs my fave two atm !

current obsession :  probably go.ssip g.irl and embroidery .

do you have a crush right now ? : mayhaps 😌

favourite fictional character : idk how to pick one. els.a maybe ???

tagged by : @vuulpecula tagging : everyone who sees this !

[renlios]

hi friends ! sorry for being quiet here again , i've been so busy with moving & then i got sick ( again ) so i've been so out of it. my queue is getting dangerously slow so i'm going to attempt to get to some things here , but pls come send some memes in the meantime or pop up on disco !

[renlios]

HOW EVIL ARE YOU ?

lia is 74% evil.

tagged by stole from : @vuulpecula tagging : @starlcved ( annie ) , @pyrrhicmessiah , @acharnemcnt & anyone else who sees this and fancies it !

[renlios]

hi friends !! i've literally had the busiest week but i'm here now so am going to try to get to some things 🥺 pls come chat to me on dis.co or send some memes or whatnot in the meantime though 💚

[renlios]

look how ✨ adorable ✨

[renlios]

these  are  such  a  wip  but  i’m  creasing  honestly  

[renlios]

hi  friends !  it’s  been  brought  to  my  attention  that  este.r  has  actually  been  very  problematic  in  the  past  so  i’ll  be  changing  lia’s  faceclaim .  ivy  has  very  kindly  found  me  some  amazing  options  so  i’ll  be  going  through  these  when  i  can  to  play  with  resources  so  i  can  find  the  right  fit  for  lia  ,   and  i  shall  let  you  all  know  who  she’ll  be  updated  to  &  will  sort  her  graphics  etc  accordingly .   i  imagine  i’ll  be  iconless  for  the  foreseeable  future  ,   but  i’ll  try  and  get  some  things  sorted  when  i  can  !   ily  all .