#* ☆ —— self para ／ make big deposits.

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟏𝟕 ; 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

notes: mentions of @fmdxyoonah @fmdminah @fmdhyeju @fmdminhee @fmdjiah @fmdxyoungjoo @fmdxsuji @fmdbyul (basically she wants to collect unnies)

after spending a considerable amount of time pondering over where to shoot the audition video – a ridiculous thing, really, since sophie knows no one other than production is actually going to watch it – she chooses to do it on her new kitchen. she sets up the camera on a tripod on top of the counter as she waits for the kettle to boil some water for her afternoon tea. it’s one of her rare days off and she usually enjoys spending those bare faced, wearing nothing but a fluffy robe and lying down on the couch either playing games all day or watching some romantic drama. as it is, though, sophie has some light make up on and a proper outfit.

“ hello, i’m wish’s sophie and this is my audition tape for the secret sibling show, ” with a bow of her head, sophie throws the camera a blinding smile. “ thank you for considering me. ”

“ okay, first question, ” sophie flips her hair over her shoulder as she scrolls through her phone reading the questions sent over by her manager. “ what are your concern these days? hm, i’m always concerned about wish, of course. the quality of our performances, if the fans are happy with what we’re putting out, that’s always on the back of my head. but i guess, other than that, hm… well, i just moved into this apartment and it’s a bit barren at the moment? so i’m worried about decorating it and bringing some life to this place. ” she waves her hands around to show her clean and modern looking albeit a bit empty kitchen. “ i didn’t think interior design would be one of my concerns this year but here we are! ”

“ which idols do you look up to and would like to get to know better? ” sophie allows herself a moment to think about it – if she’s being honest, there are a lot of those. “ all of them? ” she laughs, throwing her head back. “ no, i’m just kidding. i guess i’m pretty close to the unnies in my company but i would love to get closer to yoonah unnie, minah unnie, hyeju unnie, minhee unnie and jiah unnie. from other companies, youngjoo sunbaenim, suji sunbaenim and byul sunbaenim. but honestly, i want to get closer to everybody! ”

“ do idol schedules make it hard for you to meet up with friends and talk? if yes, do you feel that is hard on you? if no, how do you manage to make time? ” sophie’s set up the camera in a way where she’s still visible when she goes to pick up the kettle to pour the water into her mug. “ yes, i guess? wish is pretty busy, especially lately. i think i’m just lucky because i’m also friends with my members, so if i want to talk and hang out with friends i can hang out with them! but we make do, me and my other friends. we just hang out whenever we have free schedules, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. everything is doable if you put in some effort. ”

“ if you could create your ideal menu for a meal with a friend, what would it include? ” sophie stirs the tea, her smile turning coy. “ to be honest, i don’t really know how to cook! so it’d have to be something like ramen because it’s the only thing i know how to do. but i can order a mean take out! ”

realizing she’s done with the questions, sophie gives another bow to the camera. “ thank you so much, once again. i hope i’ll be able to join the cast! ”

camera turned off, sophie picks up her phone to record the voice message that was also asked from them. “ hello, i’m wish’s sophie, please take care of me! i’m really looking forward to finding out who you are and i hope we can get along very well. i promise i’m a dutiful and caring dongsaeng! ”

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 56

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 56: Broken

You were in Kylo’s arms for a few more moments as you waited for the others to arrive. Once they were there Kylo assisted you to stand and deposited you in your dressing room for Adlez and Olivia-Rose to fix you. 

You sat in front of the vanity as they fixed your makeup. You felt numb and rather unwhole inside as you sat there staring at your own living reflection. Your mind not wanting to process what had happened. Your brain felt like it was full of cotton, your body attached to strings like a meaningless puppet. 

You had no desire to really do anything at the moment but your ladies-in-waiting were attempting to distract you and cheer you up. Putting your hair into a beautiful elegant hairstyle, something fancier than you were used to, and putting you into the beautiful flowy dress that Adlez had planned for the formal dinner. It was still as beautiful when Olivia-Rose first recommended it to you when you had your shopping spree but you weren’t in the mood to look at it, let alone be all done up with nowhere to go. 

They then dressed you in a different dress from this morning. Something lighter, and happier. A silent hope to improve your mood. Once they were done dressing you down you went out to the patio to lay out in the simulated sun. Hoping that its warmth could not only warm your bones but warm the cold feeling that was plaguing you. 

When it came to lunch you ordered on the patio, something small as you didn’t think you could stomach anything more than that. You were silent the whole time, lost in your own non-existent thoughts. When it came time for your lesson the general came out to greet you on the patio, he stopped dead in his tracks after assessing the condition you were in. 

“M’lady it is time for your lesson.” You did nothing to show that you had heard him, you just continued to sit there. The general just stood and analyzed you before he sat down in the chair next to you. “If you would like I can have someone come down and talk to you about this morning.” His voice was soft and sincere. 

You turned to look at him, “I will take my lesson out here.” And you turned your head back to stare at the simulated horizon. 

“As you wish,” he then took the remote and started your lessons.  

Ch. 32: Etiquette in Business and Politics

Ch. 33 Part 1: Dress (para. 1-39)

Ch. 33 Part 2: Dress (para. 40-end)

“Today’s lesson was short, would you like to start on something new? I can make arrangements to have you start learning more diplomacy issues.” He waited for your answer that did not come. He shared a look with your ladies-in-waiting and the lieutenant. 

He got up from the lounge chair and walked away. You watched your entourage leave with him. You were left alone for a few minutes before a silver figure came into view. You were rather surprised to see her here, you shifted in the chair to allow her to sit on your lounge chair. 

She took off her helmet, but you both remained silent for a while until you couldn’t take it anymore, “They died because of me,” your voice sounded foreign to your ears. 

“But m’lady its more than that, they betrayed the First Order. It had to be done.” Her voice was even and firm, but still gentle in many ways.  

“If I were just some random officer’s match and the same thing happened would they have lost their lives?” You could feel the tears fall from your face. 

She was silent for a moment before she responded, assessing your emotions.”No, but they would have if there was someone else in your shoes, it is your position that they acted against. You mustn’t blame yourself, they would have slipped up someplace else, prolonging the inevitable.” 

But that wasn’t good enough. “But they didn’t have to die. If they would have messed up doing something else they would have just been reprimanded and not killed.  I am the reason that they are dead don’t you see.” They were killed because of you, and you did nothing to stop it, nothing that mattered anyway. 

“We are at war ma’am, you might have just given them a more merciful death.” With that, she stood and walked away. You were confused for a moment before Kylo replaced her. 

“You said you would make the dread and pain go away,” you looked at him, meeting his cautious assessment of your condition.  

“Is that what you want Kitten? I can still do that.” His hand was in your hair. That is what you want, you wanted all of this nothingness gone. You wanted it gone. 

His hand moved to caress your forehead, you started to feel yourself become more numb, but in a different way. Your consciousness was separating itself from your being. 

“My old master once said ‘Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing.’ This might hurt Kitten.” 

But it didn’t all you felt was nothingness before your vision faded to black, but before you became fully unconscious you heard him once more say, “You will be hollow. I shall squeeze you empty, and then I shall fill you with myself.”

The blackness took over. You were fully out now and stayed like that before the dreams took over. 

The woman was there again, this time joined by a lot of people you did not recognize. Two men, one woman, a golden figure, a tall hairy tree, and a white barrel. You couldn’t see them exactly. They were staring off in the distance over a cliff and you were facing the cliff but too far away to make out any more details. Black smoke swirled through the dream and shifted to something else entirely. 

You saw yourself, or what looked to be you sitting on a large throne. Chained up next to you was a large black dog, with black eyes. Its hair was shaggy and the chain that was around its neck was thick. The dog moved to put its head in your lap, your other self petted it. Stroking its long black fur. You took a step closer to yourself. The dog shifted and growled as you approached yourself. You could now see the scar that graced its face, jagged and red. 

Your other self laughed as you stepped back in fear of the dog. A haunting laugh that chilled you to the bone. You paused. You tried to speak to yourself but no sound came out of your mouth, your lips moved but you were silent. The other you just laughed and sat forward. Your other self’s eyes glimmered with a sense of malicious intent. Before anything more could happen the dream shifted once more. 

You were on a desert planet. Miles and miles of sand and nothing. As far as the eye could see. In the distance, you could see him. Kylo his back was to you and another woman was at his side. Not the older woman who you had seen before many times, but a younger one. A brunette that was a half a head shorter than him. As you approached them you could hear laughter, his and hers. His arm was behind her back as hers was to him. She kissed his cheek and you felt the earth collapse under you. 

You were sinking into quicksand, rapidly. You struggled as it pulled you down. The earth was swallowing you whole. To never release you again. You blacked out in your own dream. 

You woke up to a similar scene to the one before. You were on a grassy planet now. Miles and miles of grass and wildflowers. Kylo had his back to you, but he was alone. You looked around you to see if you could see her, the other woman, but you couldn’t. You started to run towards him. As you reached him you held out your hand. When you touched his shoulder to turn him to face you felt a familiar pressure behind your ear.

You woke up. 

Gasping for air, you jerked awake. Flailing for a few moments before you heard his voice, “Kitten, Kitten it’s alright. I am here. Nothing can hurt you now.” His hand combed through your hair. 

Somehow you had gotten changed and were now back in your bed. Something that Kylo must have asked Adlez and Olivia-Rose to help him with. At least you hoped he did. 

His lips were against yours, his tongue winding its way into your mouth, just before he pulled away. “How are you feeling this morning?”

It was a simple question, but you didn’t know how to answer. You didn’t feel like yourself that’s for sure. You felt foreign. But not in the way you did previously, it was a new foreign now. “I don’t know.”

A hand came to caress your face, “That’s ok, it might take a few days to fully feel better. But I promise you will.” Another kiss graced your lips. “I promise Kitten.” 

His arms were under you as he carried you into your dressing room, leaving you with Adlez and Olivia-Rose with one final kiss. “I shall be back for lunch, but you should like the surprise I have for you this morning.” And with that, he was gone. 

Adlez spoke first, “How are you feeling m’lady?” She was cautious as she started on your hair. Her fingers have a lighter touch than normal. 

Like answering Kylo before her you did not have an answer, “I don’t know. Not like me and also myself. I don’t know how I feel, how I am supposed to feel.” You watched as both of them exchanged worried glances. A sort of silent communication that they were starting to form. 

You just sat there while they got you ready, your outfit this time was athleisure. You wondered if it had anything to do with Kylo’s surprise, but you knew that you would be told when they wanted you to know. When you were finished you walked up the stairs to the lofted lounge. Finding a spot in front of the fireplace to have your breakfast. Something that shocked the two women, but they followed nonetheless. The lieutenant eventually joined you as you all sat in silence listening to the flames crackle and pop. 

Eventually, your food came but you still ate that in silence. Knowing that small talk was rather useless at this point. Nothing about being in the confines of the First Order made small talk feel normal. You all knew the same news that was broadcasted out, you were together most of the time, and there was no weather aboard a starship. Small talk felt pointless. 

When you were finished the lieutenant announced that you were to follow him. And you did. Out the door and down the never-ending hallways. Feeling numb to your surroundings and the faces and lack of faces you saw along the way.  He led you to a large door. 

To your excitement beyond the door was a training facility and waiting was the chrome gilded Amazon herself. “M’lady it would be an honor to teach you how to shoot.” 

Your body filled with glee as you followed her to the target range, a small blaster in her hand. “It is rather simple. Line up the sights, undo the safety and pull the trigger.” She moved your body into a wide stepped position. One hand placed under the butt of the blaster while the other held it. “Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot. And only then do you fire.” 

She stood next to you as you fired at the target, narrowly missing your aimed position, but still hitting the target.

“Adjust your shoulders a bit and relax your arms. You want to be firm but not too rigid. Inhale as you aim, exhale as you fire.”

This time your shots were perfectly on the mark. A female figure appeared before the target as your next shots hit. The woman from the desert planet. Right to the heart. A kill shot. 

[abigailellery-archive]

self-para: the quiet of a room with no one around to find me out

As soon as Abigail was through her front door, she took off her charmed earrings, sighing as the noise of the world outside faded behind the thick silence of her home. After the chaos of St. Mungo’s, it was a relief to hear nothing. Abigail loved her job, she truly did, but some nights it was too much. Especially when the moon was full, as it was tonight, when every little scratch became a potential werewolf bite that hysterical mothers insisted needed to be treated immediately. It felt as if the shrill shrieking of mothers and the sharp wails of children were still ringing in her ears. Abigail had been tempted more than once during her shift to take her earrings out and reduce the clamor to a low, indistinguishable buzz, but that was against protocall. The other medi-witches and healers needed to be able to communicate with her, and that meant Abigail had to maintain the integrity of the charm on her earrings and make sure she was always wearing them. The way so many people seemed to just take for granted that she could hear given the right circumstances and them leave it up to her to make sure those circumstances were met made Abigail angry, if she thought about it too much, so she tried not to think about it.

Abigail was hanging up her coat when her cat jumped onto the table and padded up to her, head butting her hip to make sure Abigail knew she was there. She scooped up Cassandre, holding her close to her chest where she could feel the cat’s purring. It was a wonder to Abigail how well Cassandre had adapted to belonging to an owner who, essentially, couldn’t hear. Cassandre rarely meowed and seemed to make a concerted effort to stay in Abigail’s line of sight whenever they were in the same room. She even acted as a sort of butler, herding Abigail to the door if someone was knocking and she didn’t hear it. The big townhouse might have been empty and foreboding, if it hadn’t been for Cassandre, but knowing that her cat was waiting for her always made Abigail happy to come home.

The clock in the foyer told Abigail it was close to 3 AM, and she knew she should go to bed, but it had been a long shift and she’d drank too much coffee. There was still too much caffeine in her system to just fall into bed, so she carried Cassandre down to the kitchen. At the very end of the counter was a basket half full of soft scarves, and this was Cassandre’s spot, the only part of the counter she was allowed on. Abigail deposited her there, then went in search of food. Technically, she’d had dinner, but that had been A hastily eaten pastie several hours ago and she was still hungry. She pulled a half empty container of chicken salad she’d bought at a muggle shop out of the refrigerator and, dispensing with the formality of a bowl or bread, ate it straight out of the container. She fed bits of the chicken to Cassandre as she thought about what her grandmother would say if she could see her like this. It made the end of a very long day somewhat brighter.

when the chicken salad was gone, Abigail headed up to her room, once again cradling Cassandre for the journey. As the only person in residence, Abigail knew she could have her pick of the five bedrooms, but she prefered the one that had been hers since childhood. The Norton’s London home had been Claudia’s pet project, and she’d always been touching it up and redecorating. Her last update before her death had been Abigail’s room, turning it into the room of any little girl’s dreams, complete with a canopied double bed fit for a princess. Abigail loved that every detail of the room had been chosen by her mother specifically for her, all the way from the gauzy curtains to the gilded book of muggle fairy tales on the bedside table. It was that book that Abigail turned to now, as she did whenever she needed help getting to sleep. Despite being a pureblood, Claudia had always been fascinated by muggles, and had raised her daughter on tales of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty rather than Babbitty Rabbitty and the Three Brothers. Even now, as she read the stories, Abigail heard them in her mother’s voice in her mind. That night, as she had many nights before and would many nights after, Abigail fell asleep in the chair by the window, with Cassandre curled in her lap, and the book of fairy tales open across her chest.

[p-finch]

Recovery | Self-Para

“So is this the part where we see a beautiful landscape and suddenly my problems mean nothing and I’m not heartbroken anymore?”

Stephanie let out a laugh and shook her head as she led her brother up the steps of her apartment building and to the roof. She hadn’t said much to him since his breakup, aside from providing hugs and buying more tupperware for her mother’s overcooking. But now that her family wasn’t being as extra, she took the opportunity to finally offer some of her time with her baby brother and maybe help give him perspective, or at least share a few things she wished she had heard when she was dumped. “No this is the part where we get high as fuck and talk shit.” She pushed open the door and found her usual spot to sit before taking out her lighter and the tube full of joints from her bag. 

“I can totally work with that.” Shawn let out a sigh of relief as he took a seat and took one of the joints she was handing him, lighting it up right as she did hers. “I think mom has made more baked goods than when you and Talia broke up and that’s saying something because we all know she was fucking livid about that one.” 

“Yeah mostly because she had already helped me with the deposit in New York,” she joked as they watched their smoke in the air and switched joints. When she and her last girlfriend had broken up, Steph didn’t even know how to talk about it, let alone tell her parents everything but they knew enough to be pissed on her behalf. And her mother most of all knew how much it had hurt Stephanie but as wise as the woman was, she was not great during any type of emergency. 

“Do you think you’ll ever talk to her again? I mean I know McKinley and I will still have a friendship at some point, if we don’t eventually get back together or something but I don’t know, do you think about it even though she’s the fucking worst?”

Stephanie thought about his question, figuring that she should answer honestly for both of their sakes. “Probably not, I mean maybe like on Facebook or something but I don’t know. The breakup was one thing but all the other shit I found out after? The cheating, the lying, it’s too hurtful to like even process talking to her. But I won’t say never, life is a tricky bitch. Plus she keeps popping up in other people’s pictures on my timeline and I want to throw my phone in the garbage every time I see her face.You and McKinley are different though. I mean if you think of all the shitty moments in your relationship, this is kind of the only one. A big one, don’t get me wrong but I don’t know, I don’t think it’s stupid of me to encourage you to try to get her back if that’s what you really want.”

“I don’t know,” Shawn sighed out as they switched joint agains and he leaned back against the nearby wall. “It’s been a week and it’s still kind of a wave of fucking sadness when I wake up. I haven’t reached out to her because I don’t know what to say. And I’m still kind of confused about things. And..I don’t know, feeling kind of lost. I guess I’ve just been trying to find signs of things going wrong and going over and over shit and it’s just fucking with my head.”

She nodded in understanding as she inhaled. “You should call her. Don’t look at me like that, call her. That’s the only way you’re going to get answers. You can fight with yourself all you want but unless you call her then you’re not gonna have any actual answers. I mean I fucking told off Talia in the middle of graduation brunch and let me tell you, as fucking depressed as I was afterwards, at least I had my answers and I didn’t have to wonder about what led to everything.”

Shawn nodded in understanding, knowing he had talk to McKinley but he wasn’t sure if he could do that without coming off as pathetic as he felt. “What if she’s right? I mean about me not being fun enough o-or like what if she really need someone different to make all that happen? What if I’m just not the one for her, Steph?”

She did her best to not visibly roll her eyes as he spoke. “First things first, the mistake you both made was not talking about what your sobriety would look like and you not being honest about what you needed. You chose to isolate yourself and I get that, you weren’t at a place where you could sit at a bar and not drink or be at a family dinner and not have a glass of wine. But this whole I cant have fun because I dont want to fuck with my boyfriends sobriety thing is fucking bullshit. But it’s also because you guys are fucking young and I’m not saying that in a condescending way I’m saying that in a factual way. If she wanted to break up with you, she should have had a fucking conversation with you and if you were gonna get dumped, you should have stood your fucking ground and demanded answers. But that didn’t happen, fine, so you need to find a way to have a conversation because sitting here and asking everyone but her questions isn’t going to do you any good. You can be sad, god knows I was. I felt like my entire heart had been ripped out of my body. Two years of a relationship just shoved down the drain. And you saw me, there were days I wasn’t sure I’d even make it off the couch. But I owed it to myself to not let that bitch define me or dictate my life. Shawn you cannot give someone that much power.” She turned to look at him in the eye. 

“McKinley is a beautiful human being but she’s growing and getting to know who she is, and so are you. And are you allowed to be sad? Hell yeah, be sad, take your time, cry and scream and listen to sad songs and watch stupid movies. Feel your sadness but don’t let it define you and become who you are. You cannot give her that much power, it’s not healthy. I don’t know what the future holds for any of us, nothing is certain, not even love. I mean mom and dad? What they got was a fucking blessing but that’s them, that was their path and was it easy? Hell no but they worked on it together, like actively worked on it. People our age don’t do that shit anymore. If you’re not talking openly then what the fuck are you even doing? Look, I’m going to tell you something I wish someone told me when I was dumped.” She ashed the joint and reached up to hold his face. “This is going to hurt. Time is truly the only thing that will allow you the space to heal. You owe her nothing. She owes you nothing. But you owe it to yourselves to work on you and be better not for her, not for us, for you. You’ve been sober six months and while that’s amazing, that doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly back to being fucking party king. You cannot ask more of yourself that you’re ready for. McKinley did what she did because she thought it would be the best thing for her and now you need to do what’s best for you. And that’s to focus on getting your shit together. If you really love her, then the two of you will find a way some day but now? Right now you still need to get your shit together because you cannot sit in front of me and tell me you have it together. Because this isn’t about her, it’s about you and figuring out what sober Shawn is like. Now pass me the lighter, I spoke for too long and the joint went out.” She kissed his forehead quickly before pulling back to light the joint up. “Now, that’ll be 20 bucks,” she joked and nudged him before sliding an arm around his shoulder. “You’re gonna be alright, dude. And if not, well that’s why marijuana exists.”

Shawn took a breath as Stephanie finished. He knew she was right, even if he didn’t want to admit it to her or himself. At the end of the day, the breakup had brought up a lot of questions for him. He was so quick to assume that he could be the fun person McKinley was looking for but was that who he was anymore? Was it what he wanted? He honestly didn’t know anymore. He hadn’t really been focused on his likes and dislikes or hobbies for the past few months, he had only been focused on one thing, not drinking. He turned towards Steph and smiled softly. “You’re really good at this. You’re like the gay Oprah. Guess this is why you’re the oldest, huh?” 

Steph laughed and nodded. “Yeah that’s why I’m the oldest, so I can make as many mistakes as I can so you all don’t make them. I’m selfless like that,” she joked.

“Thank you though, for being straight up with me. I love you, Steph.”

She smiled and ruffled his hair. “Love you too, now come on, these joints ain’t gonna smoke itself and I’m trying to get high enough that taco bell sounds like an actually good idea.”

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟏𝟖 ; 𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞

location: WISHlights tour concert at marine messe fukuoka in fukuoka, japan date: august 24, 2020

sophie, much like every member of which, is not unaware of all the criticism thrown at the group. for as many fans as they have, people who admire their work and enjoy their music and performances, there are the ones who will nitpick for the sake of it, who will discredit whatever they may do just because they know they can and others will back them up. sophie’s long learned not to dwell on those comments as much. she’s been in the industry for enough years that she knows it’s an inevitability – that people will criticize the groups no matter what they do, so there’s no point in relying completely on what the general public might thing.

still, she’s only human. there are enough times one can see comments criticizing their group’s performance – from the dancing to the singing – and not be upset about it. sure, they might not be the best at everything but no group ever was. all of them had their strengths and sophie could argue that at the very least wish has been improving with the years. their earlier sound has never actually bothered her, not in the way it bothered others, yet she knows their recent comebacks have showcased a definite maturing of their sound and image, in a way that she believes the public is satisfied with.

being overly aware of the criticism means sophie is always determined to put everything she has into anything she does. singing has never been a strong suit of hers but her dancing has always been something she can lean on. she’d argue she wasn’t given a position as lead dancer if she couldn’t live up to it. bc is many things but they are not dumb.

the focus only seems to increase whenever wish has a concert. they rehearse twice as much as they do during any other time and apply themselves four times as much. the desire to put on a great performance completely beats their physical tiredness and sophie’s done her fair share of pushing herself past her limits, past the point of exhaustion.

except this time…

this time sophie is genuinely tired.

she shouldn’t be, not when wish’s not even in the middle of comeback preparations and the only group schedules involve the concerts that they have to do. but there’s everything else she’s doing. the variety, the cf shootings, the meetings. for once in her life sophie is much less concerned about what the group does and much more worried about what the company expects from her and her alone.

it’s a terrifying thought and one that causes her to be mentally drained.

she had passed the final soundcheck without a hitch, getting to her marks as if it was second nature, even if all of them ended up half-assing the choreography so not to drain themselves before the concert even started.

it’s why she doesn’t know how it happens. one moment she’s performing fake & true, the choreography almost like muscle memory, and the next she somehow manages to not only miss her mark but also trip and fall on her ass. one of the girls turn to give her a quick look but sophie’s fast to get back on her feet, the shock at having fallen enough to bring her focus fully back.

sophie laughs it off because she has to, waving off everybody’s concern when they ask if she’s okay. she’s long learned how to keep going.

(and if she has a small cry about it when she gets back to her hotel room, well. no one has to know.)

[startupjobsasia]

Accountant job at HelloGold Malaysia

HelloGold is a retail financial services platform that enables mass market consumers to access microsavings in investment grade gold through a mobile app. The mobile app allows users to save, borrow and send gold at US$10 per transaction. HelloGold users have the opportunity to better preserve and diversify their wealth as well as the ability to collateralize their gold to have access to short term financing. The three overarching problems HelloGold solves are that • There is an over-reliance on cash for savings, • Credit facilities are not available to the mass market at affordable pricing, and • Investment grade gold remains inaccessible and expensive for the mass market HelloGold makes gold affordable by allowing its users to buy very small weightage per purchase at international spot prices. Customers have direct ownership of the gold they buy. The gold bullion is stored in a vault in Singapore fully insured against physical loss, and is fully redeemable as physical bars and coins, cash, or as jewelry. HelloGold collaborates with channel partners such as financial institutions, mobile network carriers and other businesses who share our target customer profiles for customer acquisition. HelloGold is working with a gold provider that assists in the procurement, sale, storage and insurance of gold. HelloGold targets two key market segments: the consuming middle class and the emerging middle class. In Malaysia, these two groups comprise 43% of the total labour force of 13.7m people. They saved approx. $18b in 2015, of which we estimate that $11b was in cash deposits . The country’s sizeable target segment for HelloGold and its high smartphone penetration of 190% are clear advantages in launching HelloGold in Malaysia. Perhaps, more importantly, given that HelloGold is the first Shariah compliant digital gold scheme in the world that is fully compliant with the new emerging standard on gold for saving and for lending, we believe it is strategically sound to initially offer HelloGold in one of the most advanced Islamic finance markets in the world. As HelloGold progresses, the expectation of the founders is that the company will expand its product set. For example, HelloGold will target segments such as the bottom-of-the- pyramid with products tailored to address the saving needs of these consumers. This will address a real need in Malaysia while expanding the core revenue stream of the business. The team consists of ex-regulators, business experts and technologists who have direct experience in general management, financial management, Islamic finance, payments and settlement systems, business development, programming, blockchain technology, financial messaging standards, operations management, financial inclusion, micro-credit, compliance, risk and audit. We are now hiring beyond our core team as we prepare for our launch in Q3 2016

Establish and maintain appropriate financial processes and controls necessary to successfully support the business

Manage all accounting operations including A/R, A/P, GL and Revenue Recognition

Perform month-end and year-end close processes and prepare timely monthly financial statements

Manage collections process

Work with CEO on budgeting and financial forecasts

Manage relationships with outside auditors and tax consultants

Manage and comply with state and federal government reporting requirements and tax filings

Develop and document business processes and accounting policies to maintain and strengthen internal controls

As we grow, hire and manage additional accounting personnel

A well-organized individual who can manage details while maintaining the big picture perspective, and is comfortable performing all accounting functions

Self-starter comfortable working within an entrepreneurial environment and assuming a strong sense of ownership over all accounting-related matters

Thorough knowledge of accounting principles and procedures

Experience with creating financial statements

At least 6 years of accounting experience demonstrating the ability to assume more and more responsibility, most recently as controller or assistant controller

Bachelor's degree in accounting or business

Must be resident in Malaysia or the right to work in Malaysia

Proficient with Excel and accounting software

Start-up experience at a technology company strongly preferred

StartUp Jobs Asia - Startup Jobs in Singapore , Malaysia , HongKong ,Thailand from http://www.startupjobs.asia/job/27541-accountant-corporate-support-job-at-hellogold-malaysia

[campfiresandsandcastles]

What To Do in El Centro, Cartagena During a Cruise Ship Port of Call

If Cartagena, Colombia is on your itinerary for your cruise, be sure to get off of the cruise ship and spend some time in our historic and beautiful downtown Walled City. All cruise ships that dock in Cartagena have excursions that include a tour in El Centro. These tours most often include some time for you to wander around our Centro Historico area all by yourself, so I’ve created this post to give you a step-by-step guide on how best to spend the 1.5 hours that they will give you to explore.

I’ve even included a map with the route that I recommend. This route starts in Plaza San Pedro Claver, where they will most likely drop you off after their guided tour. If the cruise ship guided tour deposits you somewhere else in the city, it will likely be at some location along this circular path, so just pick up the route from wherever they leave you and go from there.

Printable map

First Stop - Plaza San Pedro Claver (#41 on the map)

Named for the church located along its western edge, this is a popular location to congregate. One of the most popular photos of the Cathedral can be taken from this square, looking along the steps of the church, down Calle San Pedro Claver, north towards the Cathedral.

Second Stop - Walk on the wall

The unique feature of El Centro is the thick stone wall that surrounds the entire city. So, this may go without saying, but be sure to walk along at least a portion of the wall when you visit. Walking south from Plaza San Pedro Claver you will come to a gradual walkway that will lead you to the top of the wall. From here you can look out onto the bay and marina. To reconnect with my guide, simply walk back to Plaza San Pedro Claver and continue the route.

Third Stop - Bathrooms

After your 1.5 hour self-guided tour, you may be in need of some bathrooms. Most restaurants have some version of a bathroom, if you are a patron of the restaurant. But, if you need one while walking through the streets there are public bathrooms in the front of the city in the wall by the Clock Tower (cost is $1200 COP). Plus, you can often sneak into one of the many Juan Valdez coffee shops to use their bathrooms too. One other very important tip…when using the public bathrooms, be sure to grab your toilet paper BEFORE you go into the stall. Yeah, that’s a thing here.

Fourth Stop - Plaza de Los Coches (#18 on the map)

You may have started your guided tour from this spot, but it’s nice to revisit as the Clock Tower is quite an iconic landmark for this city. In this plaza you will also be greeted by many, many vendors selling various items to make your visit better including sunglasses, hats, or hormigas (a.k.a. big ass ants to munch on - no joke). On the far west side of the plaza you will find a line of vendors selling various Colombian sweets, including plenty of coconut, ariquipe, and panela treats.

Fifth Stop - Fresh fruit juice to go from Sierva Maria (#26 on the map)

This cafe sells actual meals too, but we love their fresh fruit juices. This is a great place to stop while touring the city, cool down in the air conditioning for a bit while they make your juice, and then head off again on your adventure with a juice to go (“para llevar” in Spanish). Located on Calle de las Carretas (Carrera 7) #34-34.

Sixth Stop - Fresh bread treats from Pandequeso (#16 on the map)

Just around the corner and down a block from Sierva Maria is a panaderia (bakery) that you can find simply by following the smell of fresh baked sweet breads. They have various, fresh baked pastries including pan de queso (a yummy ball of dough with a cheesy center and a dusting of salty yuca flour on the outside), sweet rolls with sugar sprinkled on top…and the list goes on. The prices are so cheap (like 30 cents USD) that you can splurge and try one of everything. Located on Calle 34, just a few blocks from the Clock Tower.

Seventh Stop - Cathedral (#23 on the map)

Officially the Catedral Basílica Metropolitana de Santa Catalina de Alejandría or Metropolitan Cathedral Basilica of Saint Catherine of Alexandria, this is probably the most recognizable and most photographed structure in El Centro. Not to be confused with an ordinary church, a cathedral is special in that it is run by a Catholic bishop, not simply a priest. Surviving an attack by the famed Francis Drake and with over 400 years since its completion, it is beautiful and worth a quick walk through to see the inside. There is even a bronze larger-than-life-sized statue outside of Pope John Paul II, commemorating his visit to Cartagena in the 1980s.

Eighth Stop - Plaza de Bolivar (#7 on the map)

Named for the famous freedom fighter, this square is recognized by the statue of Bolivar sitting upon his horse in the center among many towering trees. This square is a popular meeting place for locals to beat the heat of the city and the Cathedral, Museo Historico de Cartagena, and Museo de Oro adorn its sides.

Ninth Stop - Shopping - Territorio (#32), 408 Colectivo Artesanal (#31), and/or Casa Abba (#22)

These couple of blocks provide some unique shopping experiences, beyond the typical trinket stores you can find throughout the Walled City.

Territorio - Ceramic pineapples (#32)

Did I get your attention? Ceramic pineapples, you say? Yep. A trip through El Centro will expose you to numerous stores selling various tropical fruit sculptures. My favorite are the ceramic pineapples found at Territorio. This is a high-end Colombian artisan store, often with the prices to prove it. But you can’t go wrong with the uniqueness of their goods and their quality. There are actually three Territorios in El Centro. Ceramic pineapples can be found at the store on Calle de Ayos (Calle 35) #4-29.

408 Colectivo Artesanal - Unique wares (#31)

This store has a great variety of well-made, unique stuff. They sell jewelry, wooden watches, woven shawls, and printed leather wallets, among other items. El Centro has plenty of knick knack, touristy stores filled with the same things, over and over again, and I just appreciate this store for its quality and distinctiveness. Located on Calle 35, just down the street from Territorio.

Casa Abba - Local wares (#22)

The small entranceway of this store opens up to a large inner room filled with several vendors, each with their own designated area to sell their products. So, in this one store you can find hand-painted shoes and purses, handmade jewelry, paintings, bathing suits…the list goes on, all in a brightly lit and beautifully decorated space. One of the vendors that is close to my heart is República Alegría. The artisan sells handmade stuffed animals, with articulated limbs, fully hand-sown outfits, and a complete backstory of each animal’s life in the fantasy land of República Alegría. Located on Calle 35 near Plaza Santo Domingo.

Tenth Stop - Plaza Santa Domingo (#29 on the map)

This square gets its name from Santo Domingo church that abuts one side of the square. This plaza is often the location of various music celebrations, plus there is bustling activity with the plaza filled with cafe tables served by the surrounding restaurants and loads of roaming vendors. The square also contains a bronze statue of a naked woman by the famed Colombian artist, Botero. When you see her be sure to notice her various parts that are especially shiny because she’s been rubbed for good luck.

Eleventh Stop - Chocolate from Evok (#5 on the map)

To finish your journey, be sure to stop by Evok for the BEST Colombian chocolate that we have uncovered so far (and we have tried a lot). It is a chain, but that doesn’t detract from the flavor. Try one of their individual servings of chocolate truffles located in a glass case at their counter. They have two different levels of darkness and creamy centers of amazing flavors. Just $2500 COP per piece (approximately 75 cents USD), they are a steal. Located on Calle Santo Domingo (Carrera 3) #33-46.

Twelfth Stop - Return to Plaza San Pedro Claver

Follow the map to return back to the area of Plaza San Pedro Claver to meet your cruise ship tour guide. During your walk be sure to peek through open doorways. This is one city where being a bit nosy is welcome and even encouraged at times. The beauty of the buildings in this city are not always obvious from their outward appearance…but take a peek into their inner courtyards and you will often be astonished by what you find. Some dilapidated fronts give way to amazing entrance ways and there is always, always, always a courtyard, and often a water feature such as pool or fountain. The buildings are narrow and long, so what may look like a small house from the front, extends the entire block once inside. So, take any opportunity you find to peek inside, whether it be a hotel, restaurant, or even a residence, people here understand the fascination with their homes and often allow a brief look around if you ask politely (always with a “por favor”).

Do you have more time?

If you have more time than the typical 1.5 hours allowed by the cruise ship tours, check out my post of a Local’s Guide to the Best Things to Do in Old Town for some additional ideas on where to visit. The remaining numbered locations found on the map are each discussed in this post.

[carlhuber1768662-blog]

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[ameliamike90]

Accountant job at HelloGold Malaysia

HelloGold is a retail financial services platform that enables mass market consumers to access microsavings in investment grade gold through a mobile app. The mobile app allows users to save, borrow and send gold at US$10 per transaction. HelloGold users have the opportunity to better preserve and diversify their wealth as well as the ability to collateralize their gold to have access to short term financing. The three overarching problems HelloGold solves are that • There is an over-reliance on cash for savings, • Credit facilities are not available to the mass market at affordable pricing, and • Investment grade gold remains inaccessible and expensive for the mass market HelloGold makes gold affordable by allowing its users to buy very small weightage per purchase at international spot prices. Customers have direct ownership of the gold they buy. The gold bullion is stored in a vault in Singapore fully insured against physical loss, and is fully redeemable as physical bars and coins, cash, or as jewelry. HelloGold collaborates with channel partners such as financial institutions, mobile network carriers and other businesses who share our target customer profiles for customer acquisition. HelloGold is working with a gold provider that assists in the procurement, sale, storage and insurance of gold. HelloGold targets two key market segments: the consuming middle class and the emerging middle class. In Malaysia, these two groups comprise 43% of the total labour force of 13.7m people. They saved approx. $18b in 2015, of which we estimate that $11b was in cash deposits . The country’s sizeable target segment for HelloGold and its high smartphone penetration of 190% are clear advantages in launching HelloGold in Malaysia. Perhaps, more importantly, given that HelloGold is the first Shariah compliant digital gold scheme in the world that is fully compliant with the new emerging standard on gold for saving and for lending, we believe it is strategically sound to initially offer HelloGold in one of the most advanced Islamic finance markets in the world. As HelloGold progresses, the expectation of the founders is that the company will expand its product set. For example, HelloGold will target segments such as the bottom-of-the- pyramid with products tailored to address the saving needs of these consumers. This will address a real need in Malaysia while expanding the core revenue stream of the business. The team consists of ex-regulators, business experts and technologists who have direct experience in general management, financial management, Islamic finance, payments and settlement systems, business development, programming, blockchain technology, financial messaging standards, operations management, financial inclusion, micro-credit, compliance, risk and audit. We are now hiring beyond our core team as we prepare for our launch in Q3 2016

Establish and maintain appropriate financial processes and controls necessary to successfully support the business

Manage all accounting operations including A/R, A/P, GL and Revenue Recognition

Perform month-end and year-end close processes and prepare timely monthly financial statements

Manage collections process

Work with CEO on budgeting and financial forecasts

Manage relationships with outside auditors and tax consultants

Manage and comply with state and federal government reporting requirements and tax filings

Develop and document business processes and accounting policies to maintain and strengthen internal controls

As we grow, hire and manage additional accounting personnel

A well-organized individual who can manage details while maintaining the big picture perspective, and is comfortable performing all accounting functions

Self-starter comfortable working within an entrepreneurial environment and assuming a strong sense of ownership over all accounting-related matters

Thorough knowledge of accounting principles and procedures

Experience with creating financial statements

At least 6 years of accounting experience demonstrating the ability to assume more and more responsibility, most recently as controller or assistant controller

Bachelor’s degree in accounting or business

Must be resident in Malaysia or the right to work in Malaysia

Proficient with Excel and accounting software

Start-up experience at a technology company strongly preferred

StartUp Jobs Asia - Startup Jobs in Singapore , Malaysia , HongKong ,Thailand from http://www.startupjobs.asia/job/27541-accountant-corporate-support-job-at-hellogold-malaysia Startup Jobs Asia https://startupjobsasia.tumblr.com/post/160151549644

[sal-giordano-blog]

Angels & Demons || Self Para

Wednesday, December 21, 2016, 6:03 pm

“Laura Rosetti. She tried to hop off without paying up. We’re gonna need the money.” Stavros hadn’t bothered with an introduction, just walked into his room where he was studying and started laying out the order. “And we want to leave a mark to tell her and everyone else that that better not happen again. Lucky you, Cassius wants you on the job.”

“Then why isn’t he telling me?” Sal felt the tangle of nerves bunching up into a spring as he looked up at the dark-haired man’s eyes.

“I shouldn’t need to tell you that your father’s a very busy man. And so am I, so I’m not going to stand here and argue.” He slapped a file down on the desk right on top of Sal’s text book. “Everything you should need should be in there. Tech boys already did some digging.”

Sal flipped it open. Laura Rosetti. Thirty-seven. Female. Mother of two. His stomach twisted into a knot. “But—”

“There’s always a but with you, isn’t there Salvatore? Are you going to do the goddamned job or not?”

He stared up at his father’s right-hand-man for several moments longer than Stavros would have allowed anyone else to pause. He was breaking his own heart and he knew it. “Fine. But I’ve got an exam tomorrow, so don’t expect it done before Friday.”

Friday, December 23, 2016, 6:00 pm

“As you can see from the lobby below, this is an extremely exclusive apartment complex. Very good safety too. There’s a doorman at all times and someone at the front desk from 7 am to 9 pm. They have a private security company as well, twenty-four hour, will respond to any concern you may have. I’ve heard from other clients they’re extremely friendly and helpful, even though the crime rate here is virtually non-existent.”

The hackers had found apartment searches in Laura’s online history. She was looking to move away from Rome—a more than wise choice after stiffing his family. So easily enough, Sal had made a few phone calls, printed a few business cards, donned one of his suits and became a listing agent who was so very excited to help Laura find her new home in Capri. She didn’t suspect a thing and was happy to take the help of someone who knew their way around the unfamiliar city and the right people to talk to. The darkness in Sal’s mind whispered that she should have been suspicious when things came so easily.

“So this is a three bedroom, unfortunately no ocean view, but believe me, some things are worth the sacrifice. Besides, it’s still a short walk to see water and you’re much closer to good grocery stores and cafes, so if you ask me, this is a much better spot. You’d be paying triple or more if you were at the water’s edge. Another big perk, you’ve got a wonderful public school system here as well as two options for top-rate private schools if you’d rather go that way. One Catholic, one just your standard private prep school. You said you have two girls, right? Sasha and…?” he stopped, feigning forgetfulness.

“Maria. Eight and twelve.” She nodded, a soft smile on her face. It must have been a long time since someone was so helpful to the single-mother. She seemed sweet. It was a wonder how she had wound up entangled with his family.

“Maria, that’s right! Sasha and Maria. Two beautiful names for two beautiful girls. And,” he grinned at her, turning the key to the apartment and opening the door, “a beautiful new home for all three lovely ladies.”

“Oh my gosh, it’s gorgeous,” she said, stepping inside and looking around.

“Completely remodeled six months ago. Walls are freshly painted—if you don’t like the colors, we’ll talk to management see if we can get a contract that lets you paint them—brand new carpeting, updated bathroom, all new stainless steel appliances. We’re lucky it’s still available honestly.” As she stepped further in, he closed the door behind him, locking it quietly. He couldn’t risk her getting away. He had her exactly where he wanted her and she was going to stay that way. Locked right here where he could keep his eye on her. “If you’d like, it comes completely furnished, though that’s negotiable when we go in to sign the contract. I’ll let you go ahead and take a look around for yourself. Come back with any questions you have.”

Her eyes had been bright since the moment she walked in the building’s front doors. He had her hook-line-and-sinker. Sometimes they make this too easy, the darkness whispered to him. His eyes darted around the kitchen quickly taking stock of what they’d left him when he requested—and paid a good sum—for a fully furnished unit to view. He had backups, but it was always better to use someone else’s supplies. He was glad to see a full butcher’s block on the kitchen counter and a towel hanging from the stove. They would come in good use. But not until after he had the money in hand.

“So what did you think?”

“It’s perfect. I’d move in tomorrow if I could.”

“I’m glad to hear you like it. But like I said, this place is extremely exclusive and is going to go quick. To have a chance at it, you have to leave a reservation fee, that’s a grand and a half. And if you’re actually serious, it’s going to take a full application—that’s an application fee, a deposit, a full month’s rent in advance. And if you’re really serious, some extra, shall we say, elbow grease, goes a long way with these exclusive types. You want to show them you’re the kind of person who’s not afraid to spend money on what you want. So we’re looking at close to five grand here, maybe more if you’re looking to bump yourself up the list. But like I said on the phone, they want to know they’re getting the best of the best and unless you have a Gold Card, cash is the best option. So did you bring any with you?”

“Yes, yes, I’m very interested,” Laura reached into her purse and counted out a large stack of bills before nodding and handing them over.

“You won’t regret this Ms. Rosetti, it’s a wonderful new place.” He pocketed the cash in his breast pocket and grabbed a knife from the block. “Great for running away from whatever you’re avoiding.”

Fear flashed into her eyes, but Sal moved without a moment’s hesitation, one arm wrapping around her shoulder as he grabbed the towel from the oven and stuffed it into her mouth. “Being a listing agent? May have been a little bit of a tall tale. But all the great things about this place? All true. And we wouldn’t want the neighbors calling security, would we? Now,” he grabbed her hand, forcing it onto the counter and laying it flat, “money isn’t the only thing we want in return. We’ve got to send a message. I mean we can’t let people think it’s okay to make promises and back out on them. And before I forget, we know everything about you. And Sasha and Maria. Don’t worry, they’re safe for now and if you keep quiet, it’ll stay that way. And of course, stay in Rome. We want people to see our little pirate flag of sorts.”

He raised his hand, slamming the knife down with a blistering force. The bones in her thumb joint gave a sickening crack as the knife burst through it. Laura screamed into the rag and as soon as he released her hand, she brought to her torso, wrapping it in her shirt in a clearly desperate move to stop the bleeding. Sal forcefully pulled the towel out of her mouth with a scowl. “Get out of here before you get blood on the carpet.”

Laura fumbled with the door, trying to undo the lock before rushing out. The moment the door closed behind her, Sal was bent over the kitchen sink, vomiting into it. From the first phone call clear up until the moment he’d let her go, he’d been cool and calm. His demons had come out to play just like Cassius had asked for. But the second she was through the door, the real Sal broke back to the surface, literally sickened by what he had just done. The taste of bile clung to his mouth, a reminder of the grotesque actions he’d taken not just today, but in the past as well.

“Hail Mary, full of Grace, the lord is with thee,” the prayer came to his lips instantly. His hand shook so bad he could barely hold onto the rag. He grabbed the detached appendage and stuffed it down the garbage disposal, sobbing as the sound rang out through the kitchen. What have I done? My God, what did I just do? She has children. He felt the money weighing heavily in his pocket as though it were going to pull him down into an ocean to drown. He rinsed the blood from the knife and wiped it of fingerprints before placing it back in the butcher’s block. It took twice, if not three times, the swipes it should have to clear the blood from the counter. Though whether from the shaking hand or the welling tears that made it hard to see, it was impossible to tell. He tossed the cloth in the sick and pulled a box of matches from his jacket, lighting one and tossing it in the sink with the rag. As the towel turned to ash, so too did the the words of the in his mouth.

Why are you even bothering with prayer any more? You’re going to Hell. You’re going straight to the flames of damnation. No God would save you now. Look at the things you do. To a woman who didn’t deserve it. To a mother. How can you? It’s no wonder your family wants nothing to do with you. How could anyone love someone who does such things?

His mind swam among itself, half of him screaming to stop the accusations the other continuing to barrage him with the fact that he just wasn��t good enough. Not good enough for anyone or anything. He had to do something to calm these voices, to calm himself, and there was only one thing that was going to help him. His hand scrambled for his phone, dropping it the first few times as he tried to get the right screen pulled up, barely able to get the text sent off without errors.

WA downtown. 9. Usual room.

Saturday, December 24, 2016, 4:47 am

Salvatore trailed a soft touch up the middle of the other boy’s abdomen. His fingers brushed around his right peck, looping around it and completing the figure eight by circling the other. He had such a terrific body. Zaine shifted beside, a happy little sigh leaving him as he slept. It was the kind of noise Sal could become addicted to. It was the kind of noise he had become addicted to. The moment things had started spiraling, he’d run to Zay as quickly as he could get there. Only Zay could get him breathing and calm and together again.

They’d fucked, hard and fast, until he couldn’t breathe. At times they had slow, sensual sex, in fact the longer they were together, the more that was the kind of sex they had. But on nights like this when he was running from his demons, only a long, hard fuck could get his mind to shut up long enough to allow him to function. After they’d collapsed into bed, they’d lay there talking for hours. Any topic and every topic other than what he’d been doing this evening that had driven him here. After a while, the pauses between Zay’s words had grown longer, his eyes drooping closed. Sal had kissed him softly and told him to get some rest and he’d fallen asleep not long after.

Which left Sal alone in a darkened, nearly silent room in Waldorf Astoria’s Rome Cavalieri hotel. The voices were quieter than they would be without the boy he’d fallen for at his side, but they were still there. They’d been gone the whole time Zaine had been awake. It had been a welcomed reprieve after such a horrifying day. Time with Zaine always was. It slowed his mind, warmed his heart, made him not feel so alone in the world. Now that they had grown so close he wasn’t quite sure how he had managed all these years without him. Or how he’d do it again.

This can’t last forever. You know that. Romeo and Juliet wind up dead, remember? He was terrified he was going to lose Zay. Whether because of his family or his lover’s or Zaine walking away when he realized just how dark Sal’s mind could be. Would he still care for you if you told him what you did today? Does he care for you as it is? Is he really worth all this? You’re risking everything. Everything that you’ve sold your soul for is on the line for him. You could lose it all.

He gently cupped the side of Zaine’s face. If his family ever found out, he would be ostracized at the very least. In fact, that seemed like the most gentle thing that could happen to him. Reality would likely be much worse. He’d given up so much, given in to so many things just to keep his family. He couldn’t stand the idea of losing them. But then he couldn’t stand to lose Zaine either. It felt like a no-gain situation either way. He’d finally found someone his soul cried out for and they were just out of reach. Everything always was. Everything was always right there in front of him, but sealed away behind bullet-proof glass.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You weren’t supposed to fall for him. This is why you don’t fuck more than once.

It had started as a game. Sal already knew exactly who Zaine was when he made his move. It was supposed to be the ultimate fuck you to his family, even if he’d never had any intentions of telling them about it. He would use every ounce of conning skill that had been born and bred into him to lure the sweet Lefevre boy into his bed. And that was it. Use all his “natural talents” so his mother called them to literally get in bed with the enemy. And then do nothing with it. Pry no secrets from him. Plant no bombs—physical or mental. Break no hearts. Get so close to the enemy it would make the rest of his family drool. And then do nothing. No, he never planned to tell his family about his dastardly little plan, but oh would the tiny little revenge feel good to him.

But as Sal had lay there afterwards recovering, Zay had started speaking. At first, he’d wondered if he were the one getting played, but there was such earnestness to Zaine’s tone. Besides, no one could know how he really felt. He’d never admitted it out loud. And yet here was this beautiful boy giving voice to all his thoughts. Zay was the first person to pry open his heart since Bernardo and even with Bernie he hadn’t been able to be so candid. How could he not start developing feelings for him? Sal had set out to play a game but in the end, he was the fate’s pawn instead.

Though Zaine brought peace with him, he brought just as much fear. Fear of these things he was feeling. Fear of his family finding out. Fear of them turning their backs on him. Fear of losing Zay. Fear of Zaine being hurt because of their tryst. Fear that this is his one chance at happiness and it may not play out. Fear that Zay would turn away if he knew just how deep the fear and darkness ran inside him. Fear that he could never be the despicable son his parents want nor have a soul pure enough for Zay, always stuck in between, never close enough to one to give up the other, but risking them both by trying to balance them. The voices and the demons screamed a million reasons for him to go, but his heart only ever whispered one word. Stay.

He sighed and shook Zaine lightly. Clearly he wasn’t going to get any sleep. And it was best to leave when the lobby would be empty.

“Hmmm?” Zay mumbled, eyes only half opening to look up at him.

“I’m gonna go,” he said softly.

“You should stay,” the boy countered, his eyes opening now, the deep brown of his irises meeting Sal’s pale green.

“You know one of us has to be gone before morning. And you’re enjoying the bed way more than I am.” He ran his hand over Zaine’s head. “Leave the key, same as always. No need for a proper check out, I’ve already paid.”

“Do you think we’ll ever just get to just wake up to each other in the morning?”

“Dunno.” I hope. He sighed again and got out of bed. “I’ll catch you around. You’ve got the number. And remember, no more names in the texts.”

The room fell silent until he got to the doorway and then Zaine whispered behind him, “Sal?”

“Yeah?”

“Good night.”

Sal turned back, smiling softly at the figure in the darkness. “Good night Zay. Sleep well.”

[shuying877]

Senior Business Consultant job at Jirnexu Sdn Bhd Indonesia

our Business

KreditGoGo.com company E-Commerce is engaged in the service comparison to your financial solutions, KreditGoGo offers a wide selection of interesting comparisons of financial products, such as: Credit and Personal Loan (KTA & Lease back ), Vehicle Loans (KKB), Insurance , deposits with attractive interest, as well as the Housing Loan (KPR). We are here to assist you in selecting and determining the best place for you to make financial transactions. KreditGoGo already working with a wide choice of lenders who trusted in Indonesia, making it easier for you to determine the best lender for financial solutions. KreditGoGo promote effectiveness and efficiency in helping your financial problems. Your problem will be directly handled by the appropriate party within only a short time so that all forms of the process becomes more effective.

KreditGoGo.com advantages we have is a system that can give consumers reliable comparative data so that you can determine a loan agreement that is most advantageous. We will protect the privacy of your personal information. We also have a strict criteria to ensure that only trusted Creditors will be given to you. By doing so, any comparative data on KreditGoGo.com come from official creditors are best with a comfortable and safe facilities for customers.

Aim

KreditGoGo there to provide the best service for the people of Indonesia in providing solutions around the issue of comparative financial and financial protection, we want to create the world of finance in Indonesia become more conducive and friendly for users. We are supported by friendly system which processes we provide will be performed quickly and accurately, with KreditGoGo you will get a financial product comparison information in Indonesia reliable. Wherever and whenever you are KreditGoGo present to answer all your financial problems.

vision

Being a website e-commerce No. 1 for the financial product comparison services in Indonesia.

Mission

KreditGoGo mission is to provide information about the comprehensive financial services for the people of Indonesia, so that Indonesian people can explore the world of financial services more broadly. We also assist and educate the people of Indonesia to be more meticulous in their financial planning.

96

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Role and Responsibilities

A business development professional has three primary responsibilities:

Identifying new sales leads

Pitching products and/or services

Maintaining fruitful relationships with existing customers

When it comes to generating leads, day-to-day duties typically include:

Researching organizations and individuals online (especially on social media) to identify new leads and potential new markets

Researching the needs of other companies and learning who makes decisions about purchasing

Contacting potential clients via email or phone to establish rapport and set up meetings

Planning and overseeing new marketing initiatives

Attending conferences, meetings, and industry events

When it comes to the challenge of actually selling, other typical duties include:

Preparing PowerPoint presentations and sales displays

Contacting clients to inform them about new developments in the company’s products

Developing quotes and proposals

Negotiating and renegotiating by phone, email, and in person

Developing sales goals for the team and ensuring they are met

Training personnel and helping team members develop their skills

To keep healthy relationships with clients, this mostly requires socialization. So from simple chats on the phone to lunches and events or conferences business development managers must be sure to keep their customers happy. Of course, as with all office jobs, documentation is also a big part of the work. Business development professionals are also obligated to write reports and provide feedback to upper management about what is and is not working.

    Qualifications and Education Requirements

Male/Female, young and smart

Bachelor degree  

Experiences in Sales Products or Services to Banking Industry

Minimum 3 years in Managerial Level

Computer literate

Have a good communication and interpersonal skills

Have strong analytical and problem solving skills with strong interest in detail

Dynamic and motivated individual with ability to work under pressure

Good leadership

Hard worker, self-starter and self-learner

Fluent in English (oral and written).

From http://www.startupjobs.asia/job/24076-senior-business-consultant-business-development-job-at-jirnexu-sdn-bhd-indonesia

from https://startupjobsasiablog.wordpress.com/2017/01/13/senior-business-consultant-job-at-jirnexu-sdn-bhd-indonesia/

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟏𝟐 ; 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥

location: wellness retreat date: june 22, 2020

sophie doesn’t like to think about herself. self-reflection is not interesting for someone who spends most of her time wondering what she’s supposed to do to make other people happy.

that’s the life of idols, she reckons. their job completely caters to what other people will get, the fans’ preferences and personal tastes, not the idols’ well being or their own reflection of themselves. she’s lucky enough not to have to worry about having an image that drastically differs from who she is but she knows not everybody is like that – so many idols have to sell being someone they are not for the sake of the group’s popularity and image. they have to attempt to create a completely different persona that reflects only slight parts of themselves, in the hope of not only adhering to what the company expects of them but what the fans do to.

it sounds like a nightmare.

and above well, it sounds like it’d be terrible for one’s mind. sophie won’t pretend to understand deeply how the human psyche functions, or how something like this could affect someone’s state of mind, but she knows enough to believe it can’t possibly good to be playing a character every single moment of the day.

( she’s definitely not self-aware enough to realize that’s exactly what she does. rather than one single massive role, she adapts herself to several minor ones that change depending on who she’s around of. if she did have any interest in stopping to think about herself, perhaps sophie would realize that her own state of mind is not as good as she’d like to believe it is. )

this task forces her to minimally speak to herself some. sophie knows she doesn’t have to show this to anyone, there’s no grading to be done or anyone’s expectations for her to fulfill – just blank pages for her to fill with a few words for the sake of passing the time. she’ll treat it like the journals she had as a child, a much better alternative.

hello me, she starts,

it’s so funny to be addressing myself! what a silly thought. well, i don’t have much to self-reflect, my life is just fine. wish has been really busy lately what with the comeback and then our japanese concerts but that’s part of the job, isn’t it? it’s weird that this retreat was supposed to be a calming thing but at the same time it also made me kind of anxious. maybe i haven’t learned how to stop, since we just keep going and going. it was still good though and i’m grateful for this opportunity! this is a very beautiful place and i’m happy to be here. i just wish it had been more calming.

maybe it’s just not the best activity for me and there’s nothing wrong with that!

i think that’s as much as i want to write today.

goodbye!

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟏𝟏 (𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞)

location: WISHlights tour concert at sekisui heim super arena in miyagi, japan date: june 27, 2020  notes: mention of @fmdchaesoo

the closer it gets to the end of the concert, the harder it also gets for sophie to keep going.

five years is a long time in this industry. sometimes sophie thinks that time passed really fast, sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday that the girl was debuting in wish together with eight other members. she still remembers her first stage, the first time she performed in front of an audience in a group, not as a cheerleader or as a trainer. it had been an exhilarating experience as much as it had shoot anxiety up her spine – sophie remembers it all and at times finds herself suffering because everything happened too fast.

other times though, she feels the weight of all her experience. she’s been through a lot – wish has been through a lot. never in a million years did sophie think she’d perform in front of thousands of people and yet wish had managed to fill out not one but three domes in japan. everything that’s happened has given her a lot of experience, has taught her how to deal with certain things in a way she knows other kids her age are never going to.

it means she’s not a stranger to this feeling. overexertion – her body begging her to give herself a break just for a moment, so it can get back together. a part of her wishes that was possible, wanted to be able to take a seat halfway through the concert so she can rest. it has happened before but sophie had gotten good at taking care of herself, at knowing the right balance between eating too much and eating too little and exactly how much she was supposed to give her body whenever they had a concert.

but she had been neglecting this, mostly due to the way she had allowed herself too many liberties during the resort stay. sophie had pushed her diet harder and also forgotten to sleep properly before this concert, and it was inevitable that her body would, at one point, protest this.

she pushes through because that’s what they are taught at in bc, as idols – that no matter how bad it gets, they have to finish the work otherwise not only will the fans be disappointed but they’d also be lectured at by the company. sophie has never been a victim of one of those lectures and she doesn’t care to be either.

needless to say, sophie almost instantly collapses once they are backstage. her body manages to carry her to the dressing room at least, and she doesn’t pass out completely at least, but her legs give in on her and it’s only the close presence of one of their managers behind her that keeps her from falling on the ground.

she’s not out of it enough to not be aware of what’s happening. they lay her down on the floor, someone puts a cold towel on her forehead. sophie vaguely hears the ac cranking up, a fan being shoved practically on her face so she can get some fresh air. at one point, a doctor comes, measures her temperature and her pressure. the conclusion is pretty simple – she needs food and rest. vaguely she registers someone mentioning that at least it’s the last concert, that she can go back home and rest for a bit and sophie pretends to forget she has too many schedules to attend in south korea still for home to be a relief.

at one point she manages to sit up and food is shoved at her hands. it’s just a cereal bar, something to bury the hunger down before she can get to the hotel and eat properly. she’s surprised but thankful that she’s not been left behind completely even though everybody else was tired – her manager sits on one side of her and chaesoo on the other, and sophie allows herself to rest her forehead on the older girl’s shoulder, gives herself a moment to breathe before going on.

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟎𝟑: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚

location: after sunset concert date: april 5, 2020

at first, sophie didn’t think she’d be good enough for the job as an mc. not that public speaking scared her because it didn’t. even if it was her job to perform in front of thousands of people, it’d have maybe made sense for her not to enjoy speaking on stage, with only one other person by her side, but after the rehearsal she realized being on stage felt comfortable no matter what she was doing. granted, there was no audience to pay attention and hang on to her every word, yet even the thought of every space being filled didn’t fill her with anything but excitement.

for so long, the girl had believed she was fated to be one of those members of the group who had very little to offer. sure she was a good dancer, sure she could minimally hold a tune, but wish was filled with much more talented, charismatic and creative people than her. sophie knew she was also a mediocre actress at best, so that wasn’t even a possibility for her. no other path had even crossed her mind – sophie was certain she was going to have ex-idol group member as her career after wish disbanded.

yet this experience was making her think that maybe there were other things she could so.

sophie was funny – or at the very least cute enough to come across as funny, or so the response of the audience during the actual concert was telling her. it helped that she was in a good mood. having been born during summer, spring was when she first started to feel more in her skin, less like a shadow of what she can be. it takes a lot from her to be constantly in a good mood during autumn and winter. even if she likes the cold, it’s demanding on her, as it is on most people, and the heat brought with spring filled her with new energy.

it was a fun dynamic for her to interact with the audience and with the groups. there wasn’t much time for her to do so, they were mostly there for the sake of things having time to be set up between groups, but the girl tried her best and the public seemed to enjoy it.

she nudged her manager after, literally pressing her fingers to his side to get his attention.

“ can i do more of this? ” she asked, eyes bright and tone hopeful. “ can you try to get me more of these? or maybe cfs too? i’m cure aren’t i? people are going to enjoy me aren’t they? and i’m famous enough for that aren’t i? ”

he laughed at her but told the girl he’d try, and that was enough for sophie.

[fmdsophie]

tags ! 

[fmdsophie]

𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝟎𝟏𝟔 ; 𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐞

location: WISHlights tour concert at portmesse nagoya in aichi, japan date: july 10, 2020

her birthday was sophie’s favorite day of the year.

or at least, it used to be, back when she was a child and living under her parents’ “care”. the girl had never lacked in gifts, not on a daily basis and much less on her birthday, but what made that day extra special for her was that she got to have not only her brothers but also her parents around. granted, they never spent the entire day with her, not even if it was a weekend and they technically didn’t have any obligations otherwise, yet there was the effort of at least having lunch or dinner with the girl, handing over presents in person rather than through the nannies.

sophie felt genuine happiness on those days.

it was difficult not to, when it was one of the rare times the girl was given the attention she truly wanted from her parents.

that had been a long time ago, however and, some time in the way, birthdays stopped mattering much to her. training made the days blend into each other, leaving sophie without really knowing dates. she had routines which she had to follow religiously but suddenly time stopped mattering much if it was about anything other than extra hours of sleep she could put in. her fourteenth birthday came and went, and so did her fifteenth, her sixteenth, and it was only when she turned seventeen that there was any type of celebration – if only because wish was already a group and thus the girls put in the effort of getting her a cake.

since then, her expectations had lowered considerably and she was happy to just go out and eat with a friend or one of her brothers. this year it was no different and since she would be spending her birthday at a concert, sophie only had to move the small celebration to a couple of days earlier.

needless to say the girl was not expecting for the entire hall to sing her happy birthday.

in retrospect sophie knew that was a silly thought – their fans were considerate, enough so that they’d obviously be aware of her birthday and would wanna surprise her for it. as her perception of herself was skewed, sophie just didn’t think she’d be important enough for that, to the point where she was inevitably driven to tears halfway through the song.

with her members’ arms wrapping around her and hands patting her back, sophie gathered enough breath to speak once they were done.

“ thank you so much, ” a sobbed slipped nonetheless, and this was a combination of being touched and being exhausted. “ thank you for remembering me and thank you for giving wish so much love. ”