#(you literally got SPLAT not SQUISH)

[munibani]

Sir that's not a bug-

[theroyalspiderart]

AO3 Questions Tag Game!

I got tagged by @squish--squash. Thank you so much! I'm glad you thought of me!

I Tag: @neon-virus and @xmajordumps And any wonderful person who wants to hop on the wagon!

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, only three. One drabble and two actual fics. (One sadly left behind BUT I do intend to work on it again)

2- What's your total AO3 wordcount?

About 9,527 based on current fics. Actually a bit lower than I thought it would be, I should fix that.

3- What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's Cult of the Lamb and Splatoon! Specifically bouncing off Splatoon 2 and into 3. I don't have a lot of things I'm a big fan of but maybe that will change in the near future! I'm getting into more games so I might pick up another.

4- What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Also pleading the fifth only because I'm no longer in the fandom for most of the fics sadly

5- Do you respond to comments?

I would like to more, yes! I don't get a lot of comments so it's hard to do, but if I get more I'd really like to!

6- What fic have you written with the angtiest ending?

A fic I haven't posted before actually. It's more of an on-going/living story so to speak. A story of trauma, pain, trying to make up for said inflicted trauma, coming to terms with never being forgiven, and knowing this character has actively fucked up that life beyond repair. It's real nice to have around for pain~

7- what fic have you written with the happiest ending?

Currently have plans for both my CoTL fic Death's Forbidden Love and my Splat fic Why Do I Hate You So? (Soon to be renamed) to both get happy endings! Of course there is angst along the way. What can I say? I think they deserve to be happy

8- Do you get hate on fics?

Dunno, never had someone actively tell me before :V

9- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I need you to understand that is like the majority of my personal writing. I want to estimate a good like.... 80-90% of personal writing, be it RP or for myself, is either primarily smut or has some element of it sprinkled in.

As for what kind? Yeah, you'll have to kill me to get that answer. My main page is SFW but if you know me, You Know.

10- Do you write crossovers?

Not any more, but I used to all the time! Back when I was on Wattpad I want to say like 5/7 fics were all crossovers of fandoms and oc/canon stuff. It was a lot of fun. I think my most popular ever was a goofy Hetalia/Aliens fic I made. Don't ask me where I got the idea, I couldn't tell you.

11- Have you had a fic stolen?

ACTUALLY YES! Still pisses me off, but a fandom friend stole one of my drabbles and posted it to her account. I think it's dead now and you can't find it any longer but it did happen!

It was a small friend group and I was like- in middle school. I've done my wailing about it.

12- Have you had a fic translated?

Nope, but it would be nice if someone did! If they like it enough to translate it, I'd be honored!

13- Have you co-written a fic?

Sadly, no. Unless you count RP stuff turning into OC lore, then maybe. But in literal terms? Nah.

14- What's your all time favorite ship?

Oh this one made me think.

I'm gonna have to go with 3/8 from Splatoon simply because of my own ship pair of them. I adore these two a lot and all the growing they've done as characters together.

15- What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My personal Paracosm's story tbh. There's no set storyline for the world and it just exists in the back of my head like a DND campaign. I want to do it justice one day and turn it into an actual story and REALLY REALLY flesh it all out.

16- What are your writing strengths?

I'm often told that my characters feel like real characters. Not in like, they're made by a professional, but more so in the way they feel like they've had solid personalities. My personal favorite compliment I got was from a teacher in my high school. He'd commented on my lead at the time and how, despite my clunky writing skills, she felt like a living breathing person he was being told all about. Like a long lost friend.

I think this rings most true in my current writings of my version of Narinder. I've gotten a LOT of compliments about him and it makes me excited to write more! Hopefully if I can polish my skills again my whole cast will feel this way!

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing. By god is my pacing TRASH. I'm getting some more work on this with my friend's help and just getting back into the flow of writing again. I'm hoping to reawaken my middle and high school self cuz that bitch could bang out 3,000 words a day for fics.

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Mixed. An actual language? I don't trust my translation skills to be that solid. Small phrases I can do but definitely not full on conversations.

A language I made myself and am currently attempting to flesh out more? Oh you bet your sweet bottom dollar I'm writing whole SCENES in that shit!

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Funnily enough, Sonic. That's where a lot of my creation started as a kid and where my Paracosm kind of spawned from. Despite having never really written a fic for it before, I consider my first "comic" to be that fanfic. AKA 10yo Spider was having a blast writing their characters being besties with the canon crew -fingerguns-

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

Gonna be Death's Forbidden Love. It's my most ambitious writing project in years and has reignited a part of my love for just making stuff. Plot still isn't solid but I really enjoy the things I have planned and I hope to share more of this silly spinoff with everyone!

Thanks again for tagging me Squish! This was a lot of fun and brought back some good memories for me.

[entomycetic]

Been seein a lot of salmon run tips being thrown around here, so here's my two cents (as a profreshional part timer to 2+) of what's really helped to keep in mind:

Keep your priorities straight when it comes to the boss salmonids

The super long range bosses like flyfish, stinger, and drizzler should be taken care of ASAP! More than one and you're askin for trouble

Then you got the big boys- steelhead, steel eel, and big shot. While not as destructive to your team and environment, they take up enough space and do enough damage to be a problem if stacked.

The scrapper, flipper flopper, and maws will come to you, so deal with them as they arrive. A gang of scrappers can get real annoying though

The fish stick and slammin lid are pretty low in priority imo? Unless theyre preventing efficient mobility, don't worry about these guys if you got way more on your hands. With that said,

Some tricks for the individual bosses

Slammin Lid: With the proper setup, you can annihilate 3-4+ bosses with a single slammin lid- don't get greedy though, just take what you can get. Don't forget that you can squid surge to get out of the way when dropping it down!

Fish stick: The pole can be a great place to hide if you're targeted by bosses like steel eel or scrapper. Other bosses are still able to reach you depending on the placement though- like a high enough steelhead bomb or a really determined maws

Maws: Don't waste your ink- bomb go boom! Since it's mobile, try to bring it closer to the net first for easy transport

Flipper Flopper: If you have a low inkage weapon, bait it over to a teammate if you can! Unless you're certain you can cover its turf, you're better off saving that ink for other enemies

Scrapper: If you're first to shoot it/it pauses to aim at you, try to turn it so its back faces any nearby teammates, or at least away from where the salmonid are coming from. Easier to take down like that! And again- it's mobile, let it transport the eggs to the basket for you

Big Shot: This guy sucks idk honestly. It was my first instinct to throw bombs at it, but if your timing sucks like mine does then you'll just waste more ink and end up dead faster since you're near the shore- just shoot it as long as possible while its outta the water then scram, rinse and repeat

Steel Eel: if you're targeted, LEAD IT AWAY. STOP TAKING IT THROUGH SPAWN. Ik its mobile and yea it can drop eggs closer but if everyones getting hosed down and cut off then whats the POINT. This is one of the best times to tell your teammates to come to you! If you can take it out on your own by jumping between paths, even better. If someone else is targeted, try to take it out asap so they can get back to helping the team too!

Steelhead: unless you can lead them to a place where youre near level with their head, short range weapons are nigh useless on these guys. If you can, i sometimes find it helpful to bodyguard the long range weapons while they focus on taking em out!

Drizzler: Ok I said I suck at timing bombs for the big shots but the drizzler i can actually get right for some reason. So uh. If you can! Bomb that bitch! You can also hit them from underneath while they're in the air

Stinger: it takes very little ink to wack a pot from under these guys so don't bother wasting a whole tank on em. Take great pride in knowing you kept your team safe from their bullshit

Flyfish: ive lost count of the times ive seen 2-4 people throw all their bombs in the same bucket. Take a second to watch and avoid this very silly and costly mistake. Blease. Also EXPLOSHER EXPLODES THEM LIKE A BOMB TOO wtf didnt know that

Anyway about the special bosses/waves

Grillers: literally theyre so easy to herd with enough practice. Get targeted. Walk up a platform with only one ramp up. Take a step down to the platform below/beside it. Step back up platform. Repeat and squish smallfry until your teammates splat them. There might be a few high enough walls for you to camp that the grillers cant reach? Havent confirmed that

Glowflies: GO TO THE LONGEST CHOKEPOINT. Any long enough ramp will do. And do NOT leave!! If anyone leaves then reviving and regrouping becomes a nightmare and at that point you hope and pray you don't all get splatted at the same time. Where's that post going around about Fission. Go There

Goldie: talking specifically about the gusher rounds- SLAP AS MANY OF THOSE OPEN AS POSSIBLE. do NOT rely on rng it WILL laugh in your face as you run out of time needing just one more egg

Mothership: next best time to use 'this way' is when that shit is heading for the basket. Inkjet and long range are great for getting some damage on it before it makes contact; also when i play long range, 80% of my time is spent cracking open the containers for eggs, works when i play it!

Cohock cannon: typically it helps to let the lower dps take the cannons and have the high dps charge through the cohocks, so they dont get stuck in a corner as easily. Cannons also work on bosses of course! When on cannon i try to time my ink refill when the other cannon is active, so theres never a time without someone firing

Cohozuna: THE BIG BOY IS HERE. Hey fun fact, the egg canon can obliterate a boss in one good hit! You pay egg for even more egg! Of course dont JUST splat the bosses, you have a king to overthrow. Also if the cohozuna is targeting you, try to swim inland and strafe while your teammates are close to the shore and getting rid of bosses; stay close but not THAT close. Also don't worry too much about splatting them!! The scale rewards are so fucking random it really doesn't matter; the only golden scales i got were from 'defeated' xtra waves lol

Also!

Don't be greedy unless youre responsibly confident and not just smug that a round went so well! If you hit your goal, Not Dying is your new top priority! Same with eggs- everyone wants the big number at the end of a game, but if you think about that too much and get greedy, its not gonna go well! This is co-op, don't listen to the numbers!! Communicate!! And!!! Have fun :]

[birthclod]

ALSO HERE'S THE RESULTS OF ROUND 1 + COMMENTARY UNDER THE CUT

COLRESS VS. HAGAKURE

this was one of the funniest things to watch because for the longest time hiro was getting just BODIED by colress with his whole zero votes. he ended up with 2 though. rip hiro

SIEGFRIED VS. ARJUNA

this started with arjuna in the lead and then siegfried overpowered him, and then they got pretty even. im actually kinda surprised at the outcome, i didn't expect siegfried to have the lead

KAMUI VS. LUPIN

im also surprised at the outcome but in retrospect i really shouldn't be. idk maybe i thought kamui was more popular than The Titular Character Of The Series Lupin lll

POPPLE VS. SPAMTON

first of all, i would like to issue a formal apology to my mans popple for literally dooming him from the start. poor guy practically got squished beneath the boot of Tumblr Sexyman. he did end with 3 votes though, and to the three people who voted for him i thank you for giving this man at least Something

JET VS. SHUU

i was REALLY surprised at how closely matched this was??? at all times they were going back and forth neither of them had a commanding lead over the other. it was Interesting to see

KURTIS VS. SPYKE

another surprising turnout for me that shouldn't be surprising considering how overwhelmingly more popular splat is over disgaea. this was also kind of decided from the start, spyke always had a commanding lead over him. kurtis did get six votes though 👍

SPARKER VS. ATMEY

i had a couple people tell me this was a really hard choice, one even said i was a monster for this JKLDJLFDSDFLJ. i have to confess, atmey was a last minute addition; i was originally gonna put soldato j from gaogaigar but looking it over im like. nah you know what let's not do that. again he was doomed from the start, but hey, you can't say he didn't at least Try

MARUKI VS. CRAB

this was the WILDEST one to watch. first crab had a commanding lead, then they both evened out. within the last ten minutes they became tied. but i closed the poll on time, so i put them in the brantsteele dangan meat grinder. literally the first event that happens is this:

so i was like, "i guess that means crab wins!" so he did. i did not expect him to be an even match at ALL but good for him

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 03x14

Long Distance Call

🎶they’re going to talk to the other side🎶 “that’s my guess anyway”

“That little shaky face thing Jensen did during the demon scene was perfect horror”

🎶drugs and alcohol yeahhyeahh🎶

“Drinking like that at night gives me a headache”

It’s true. Spouse can’t handle his liquor anymore

“Sha33? That sounds like an encryption thing but it’s not”

“oh yeah. Isn’t the person dead but begging the people to kill themselves?”

“Can’t remember what Sha33 stands for. I think I remember this one though? So I can pick up nuance details like the drapes, which are very drape colored”

“Well you didn’t break it hard enough dude”

“like squishing a grape but maybe more like hitting the grape with a tennis racket”

“he’s literally talking with his mouth full”

Pointed out that Dean hasn’t worn John’s jacket for a while

“Even Jensen can make eating with his mouth full look sexy. It just takes my breath away. You know how it is”

“Linda Bateman or Linda Babeman?”


“So when a trucker uses a piss jug, and if they die randomly, and they’re super angry, are they still floating around as spirits too? Are they tied to their piss jug? Am I tied to my piss? If I die angry, will I come back, too? Do all I have to do is piss in a bottle and make it so that if I die, I get to haunt you? Or do I need to add fingernails and stuff, too?”

What in the actual fuck

“Is the guy actually going to run the number?”

Why would you want to jerk off at work? Ew.

‘Idk why they put that in there”

“I feel like if thats going to make it worse to tell the kid that she isn’t crazy, because she’s going to believe her mom now”

“I don’t remember that part”

“If it really is dad, you got a man on the inside and figure out how to get out of your hell deal”

“very 70s divider. Oh maybe 60s. Idk”

“I know they made that cringey on purpose, but it still cringed”

“They had Caller ID back then. I guess that’s the joke”

“oh shit. The demon is here or whatever the fuck”

“Fkn instant messenger, dude”

“Oh my goddddddddd”

“I’ve always as a kid thought it was funny that computers are so expensive and do all of this gene-folding calculations, but we just use them to talk to people.”

“Is Mom going to come out of the computer?”

“How many more until Castiel?”

“No evidence it can’t? That’s very positive way to think of things”

“That’s how these things work, though. Dean gets the call after Sam leaves so of course Dean is going to go somewhere; it’s what he does”

“911 emergency”

“what in the McDonald’s shit is this?”

“that’s the dramatization I’d expect - hundreds vs millions.”

“Simon be fkn dead yo”

“making holy water in a plastic jug”

“He didn’t stop? He would’ve stopped”

“Is it the gross telephone guy after all?”

“that was unfortunate, but that’s what you get for messing with the phone company dill weed”

“nice”

“is he deep-throating this bitch or what?”

“Isn’t there some other creature like the Darkness that eats souls too or something?”

“I want raspberries. All that jelly on the knife makes me want butter bread”

I wish I could convey how much I say “I’m not writing that down” during each episode

“Not much has changed in the last 15 years - we’re even more connected nowadays. It could be worse or better; depends on how you look at it”

“this is going to be a really awkward conversation for dean once he’s done fighting that guy”

“Oh hell yeah brother. Skewer that bitch”

“Splat”

“that’s not a very good answer dean”

“stupid fkn looks”

“Without the extra expressiveness, this show would have sucked so bad”

Jensen really brought Dean to life

“Douche”

“they made up with a beer. It’s fine”

[sorio99]

Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

[nothingbutchilledwriting]

Day 1: Flowers

              Jean didn’t often lie in open clearings. Especially those that were blanketed in Goldenrod flowers that stretched to the far corners of the area. It felt too exposed, too vulnerable and it put him on edge. He hated waiting. But what could he do? Other than rest on his elbows, watching birds hopping from tree branch to tree branch, and occasionally breathe in the sickly-sweet perfume of the Goldenrods.

              It wasn’t too bad, he supposed. The warm sun bathing his shoulders felt good and the fresh air was more than welcome. But goddammit, why here? Of all places? He had a few choice words for Murtair once the dumbass eventually decided to show up.

             With a sigh, he let his head tilt back. Allowing his eyes to fall closed just for a moment as he tried to ignore the anxiety bubbling up in his chest. He could always ditch him, go back to where he had set up his makeshift tent and sleep the rest of the day away. But he wouldn’t do that, not to Murtair. Murtair was too important to him to pass up such an opportunity.

             A gentle breeze started to pick up, teasing the Goldenrods and tickling their petals until they gave up their last bit of their honey-like pollen. Yellow particles lifted into the wind and Jean opened his eyes just in time to see them dance in the wind. Twirling and twisting, looping around and back again like little ballerinas, sticking to each other and creating clumps that struggled to stay afloat. It was beautiful. Maybe he doesn’t mind this all that much- splat!

             A glob of sticky pollen smacked him square in the face. That was the exact moment Jean decided he didn’t like this at all. Not one fucking bit. He was going to set the whole area on fire, fuck Murtair. He wants revenge. Jean wipes the offending substance off his cheek, disgruntled as his lips curled upwards. Disgusting.

             Deep laughter caught his attention and he looked up, parted his feet, only to see Murtair approaching. Jean sent a glare at Murtair, making a show of dragging his hand through the grass to try and rid it of the pollen. Murtair just laughed harder, as if he wasn’t in trouble, and bent over to tower over Jean (as if the motherfucking already wasn’t doing that normally).

             “Wait long?” Murtair asked, voice rumbling in his chest as he tried to stifle his laughter.

             The audacity. Jean didn’t say anything, choosing to give Murtair a cold glare that Jean hoped got his message across. Whether or not it did, Murtair cheekily grinned down at him, a glint of something in his eyes that Jean couldn’t place. Jean didn’t even have a second to prepare before he was squished by Murtair’s hulking body, air rushing out of his lungs with a wheeze as he tried valiantly to slap the giant who decided that- out of all the open space in the clearing -Jean was a bed he could just fall on without consequence. “You bastard! You’re crushing- “

             Jean wasn’t even allowed to finish his sentence before Murtair decided to smother him his hand, covering his mouth and a good part of his cheeks to shut him up. Jean wasn’t impressed and tried to make it known, thrashing around to try and shove Murtair off him. But Murtair was way heavier, and stronger, than he was so he eventually gave up trying to wrestle the elf off of him. 

            Murtair seemed to take that as a victory because his face literally split into two with how much the idiot was grinning. But Jean wasn’t done yet, Not by a long shot. Instead of trying to displace the heavy man child, he opted for, after a few moments of locking eyes with Murtair’s, biting down hard the rough hand covering his mouth. The bastard.

             That seemed to do the trick. Murtair lurched back and toppled off of Jean. Falling into the flowers and rolling through sticky pollen while clutching his hand to his chest with pathetic whines of agony. It was Jean’s turn to laugh once Murtair realised that his hair, which reached his midback and was thicker than any animal Jean’s ever seen, had been tangled with yellow goop after Murtair rolled around like the dramatic bitch he was.

              He stopped, slowly sat up, and Jean could only laugh even harder as fear, disgust, and mortification all crossed Murtair’s face. Maybe waiting wasn’t so bad after all.

[aion-rsa]

Rick and Morty’s Most Gruesome Deaths

https://ift.tt/3m2NOh1

The super-slick, super-sick Rick and Morty brand is known for many things: the warped, borderline-abusive dynamic between its titular characters, its deliciously dark humour, the gleefulness it takes in capsizing the conventions of a thousand genre tropes. Then there are the catch-phrases, and the colourful cast of supporting characters – everything from fatally-depressed Mr Meseeks to embedded family friends like Mr Poopybutthole. What really characterises it though, is death. That it’s not the first association you make with the show is possibly a by-product of there being so damn much of it that it stops registering.

There are long deaths, slow deaths, good deaths, bad deaths, sad deaths, funky deaths, perfunctory deaths, ironic deaths, iconic deaths, horrid deaths, hilarious deaths and hectares of borderline disturbing deaths.

Here are the most gruesome, in all their gory glory, season by season. (It’s a testament to Rick and Morty’s perpetually heavy ante that a little girl having her head sliced off by a Freddy Krueger substitute doesn’t even make it onto the list.)

I hope you haven’t eaten yet.

S1, E3 ‘Anatomy Park’ Come Flay With Me

Morty fails to save a fellow miniaturised man when things go south in ‘Anatomy Park’, a themed pleasure experience situated inside the body of a chronically unwell homeless man. The poor soul is sucked through the dying tramp’s windpipe and out through his mouth, the skin and flesh being stripped from his bones in the process, leaving him a peeled human spit-ball.

S1, E3 ‘Anatomy Park’ Space Guts

Things aren’t any less gruesome when the bloated corpse of the tramp is made giant by science. It ends up floating in space – because of course it does – whereupon it’s blown to smithereens, sending bone and guts spiralling into the void.

S1, E5 ‘Meeseeks and Destroy’ Who You Gonna Kill?

Morty not only finds himself preyed upon by parasite zombie versions of his family, but also has to watch as they’re trapped, burned, squished, melted and pulled into a piece of trapping technology that Rick clearly ripped from Egon’s ghost-busting manual.

S1, E5 ‘Meeseeks and Destroy’ Fairytale Ending

A fairytale giant – in the ‘Fe Fi Fo Fum’ mould – slips in his kitchen and slams his skull on a table-top. He bleeds out, a look of mystified shock frozen in his eyes, convulsing as his life-force ebbs away. RIP childhood.

S1, E6 ‘Rick Potion #9’ RIP and Mortal

In a sequence as chilling as it is gruesome, Rick mishandles some super-dangerous piece of kit and blows himself and Morty to Kingdom Come. Their crumpled remains, spattered with blood, smash against the wall; Rick’s eye pops out. Our own – thankfully unscathed – Rick and Mortys arrive from a doomed neighbouring dimension to bury them and take their place.

S1, E8 ‘Rixty Minutes’ Lepre-gone

You should never watch Inter-dimensional TV on a full stomach. In this advert, a cereal-hocking leprechaun – the mascot of this universe’s favourite breakfast cereal, Strawberry Smiggles – is pinned down on a tree stump by a little boy and girl, who proceed to slit open his abdomen and feast on his spilled-out innards; even squeezing out cereal shapes from his intestines and gobbling them like Pez sweets.

S2, E4 ‘Total Rickall’ Memory Massacre

Morty and family encounter shape-shifting alien parasites that reproduce through implanting false memories in a host’s brain. Their pus-fountained death throes – as their bodies wither, wilt, and burst in a screaming fanfare of tentacles – is pretty gruesome to behold, but thankfully you become desensitised to it pretty quickly.

S2, E7 ‘Big Trouble in Little Sanchez’ Rick Kills Himselves

At least Rick is an equal opportunities murderer. Even another version of himself isn’t exempt from his nihilistic rage. Here he gleefully smashes, drop-kicks and hacks up his own glass-encased surrogates, leaving a pile of bloodied parts strewn across the floor.

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S2, E8 ‘Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate’ Man vs Car

Another Interdimensional TV segment, another stomach churner. Literally this time.  A punkish strongman is crushed to death under the wheels of a car he’d hoped to repel, his blood and body parts thrown from the fast-spinning tyres like fireworks from a Catherine Wheel.

S2, E8 ‘Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate’ Jerrymurdering

Jerry is violently shot to death, leaving his face a drooping, lacerated, blood-dripping husk. Thankfully he’s in a technologically sophisticated futuristic hospital that presumably offers socialised healthcare.

S2, E9 ‘Look Who’s Purging Now’ Mashes to Mashes

When Rick and Morty don robo-suits and enter the Purge, expect blood. When Rick hoists a purgee off the ground and pops his head off like it was a bottle-top, sending a fountain of blood arcing into the air, it’s pretty damn disgusting – and admittedly also a bit cool – but for gruesomeness you can’t beat the sight of two people having their heads slammed together leaving a mess of pink-hued, brain-flavoured mashed potato.

S3, E1 ‘The Rickshank Rickdemption’ Pop Goes the Weasel

In the midst of some inter-dimensional Rick and Morty-based carnage, a poor Morty is crushed to death with one swift trample, as if he were nothing more than a tube of toothpaste. His dead body lies on the ground like a stuffed tiger rug, his hollow eye sockets and melon-mouth aflame with blood.

S3, E2 ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ Bad Beth

Summer flips a Mad Max-style baddy’s death-machine, maiming him horribly. He drags his torso towards her from the wreck, on a slime of entrails, pleading with her to put him out of his misery. ‘OK,’ she says, ‘But not because you told me to.’

S3, E2 ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ Give Him a Big Hand

For maximum yuk, you really can’t beat Morty smashing skulls to a pulp in a Thunderdome-inspired death arena with his beefy, vengeful and murderously sentient replacement arm.

S3, E3 ‘Pickle Rick’ Rat-a-tat-splat

I’m going to condense multiple deaths into one here, all perpetrated by that mighty, vegetable-based superhero, Pickle Rick. First, he slices off a rat’s head with a trap and harvests its bones and sinew to add limbs to his pickle body. Next, he proceeds to dispatch a whole army of rats with his makeshift power-tools in a variety of brutal and ghastly ways: pummelling brains; suspending bleeding corpses from the ceiling; cutting them into strips, and even cleaving them in two. Riotously disgusting.

S3, E3 ‘Pickle Rick’ Laser Tag

Pickle Rick’s human opponents fall just as easily – and horrifically. The best, and messiest, kill is when Pickle Rick bores a laser-shot through the heads of three of his enemies, and then proceeds to stare cockily through the tunnelled lens of charred goo like some pickle-based James Bond.

S3, E4 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ Falling Down

Speaking of Superheroes, let’s say hello and goodbye to Morty’s favourite team, The Vindicators, most of whom met a particularly savage end. First there’s Vince Maximus, who flies into a ceiling vent, and is shot to death in such a spirit of Rambo-esque overkill that his disembodied legs drop to the ground like a downed plane.

S3, E4 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ See You Later Alligator (In a Pile, Crocodile)

Then there’s Croc-u-bot, splatted into a green pulp by a springing trap.

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S3, E5 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ Ants in His Pants

And the perpetually angry Alan Rails, whose gullet is invaded by the shifting, morphing body of Million Ants, who first inflates him then detonates him in a riot of guts.  

S3, E5 ‘The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy’ Game Over

This one if possibly the most viscerally gruesome death in the entire show. A little girl is shot through the head by her giggling boy pal just as Rick deactivates the invincibility shield protecting everyone inside the dome from death.

S3, E5 ‘The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy’ A Bug’s Death

Another death that’s psychologically, rather than physically, gruesome. Three little bug-people sit toasting each other’s health and happiness. ‘Let’s just relax and enjoy our retirement,’ says one, as he’s snatched by a bird of prey and carried to his doom. The last thing we see of him as he’s ferried to his horrible off-screen death is the open portal of his screaming mouth.

S3, E6 ‘Rest and Ricklaxation’ Party Poopers

A furry party-entertainer and a bunch of happy young kids are engulfed in a toxicity field. An angry exchange ensues, which culminates in the brutal beating, beheading and evisceration of the entertainer. They’re also available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

S3, E7 ‘The Ricklantis Mixup’ Morty’s Flush

Thousands of dead Rick and Mortys float eerily through space having been tossed from the airlock by a homicidal Morty.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Crystal Death Addiction

When Morty first gazes upon the death crystal we see a shimmering smorgasbord of possible deaths. If you’ve got a fast pausing-hand, or the eyes of a spider, you’ll see such memorably brutal deaths as: Morty being sucked through a spacecraft toilet and ejected into the cold, airless void of space; dropped into a nest of giant baby birds and torn asunder; decapitated by an elevator door; and even falling from a skyscraper and being whisked to death by helicopter blades.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Rick’s Crystal Maze

Rick carks it in some hellishly grizzly ways, too. He’s torn in half by Squanch, is eaten by a giant spider, has his head splattered open like a melon by a swinging log, and – in perhaps the most horrific segment – has his body churned through a rectangular aperture in a giant Play Doh maker.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Clunk, click. Dead Rick.

Rick soon after dies for real (but not forever) in a spacecraft crash following some death-crystal-related shenanigans, smashing through the windscreen and impaling himself on a spike.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ The Wasp Factory

Extra points for top tier body-horror gruesomeness with this one. Wasp Rick lays eggs in giant Rick’s eye, causing fast-hatching grubs to spill out from his massive mouth. Seconds later, a horde of Rick-wasps hatches en masse from his face, splitting it open like an overboiled hot-dog. Yuk!

S4, E3 ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ Treachery Will Tear Us Apart

Heist artist Miles Knightley is torn apart like a chicken dinner by a medley of bizarre alien creatures – a cross between the ghosts from The Real Ghostbusters intro sequence and something that fell out of Clive Barker’s nightmares – whose piece de resistance is yanking the skin from his wet skull like it’s a bad mask. 

Are there any particularly gruesome deaths you’d like to add to the list? Or would you like to weigh in on which of these fatalities repulsed or horrified you the most?

The post Rick and Morty’s Most Gruesome Deaths appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3bCWI0f

[disneylanddirectioner123]

Heart-In-A-Box

I could get used to this, instead of saying hello, i just AHOY here and AHOY there. ANYWAYS. This is for  everyone who didn’t get a Valentines Day gift or don’t have a Valentine AT ALL. Don’t worry though, I have some Spidey Spice Doritios and a small thing of Ben & Jerrys if you wanna share with me. I KNOW, I WAS ALONE ON VALENTINES DAY. (Don’t rub it in, I’m emotional :( I’ll change my mind.)

However, I did get a nice smelling bottle of Sea Scrub peel off mask. Now I’ll smell like Ariel!!! :D

I also got a red Birds Of Prey shirt and some small cookie biscuits. BUT. 

I just wanted to make this imagine for everyone who didn’t get the Valentines Day that they wanted, and of course because of the title: IT’S A DADDY PATRICK IMAGINE!!! Brace yourselves! This may get a little bit spoopy!!!

—

IMAGINE #2

Title: Heart-In-A-Box

Pairing: Patrick Hockstetter x Reader

Word Count: 

Theme: Valentine’s Day.

For: Anyone who had a sucky Valentine’s Day, but for this imagine, I’ll put my name: Jae. (You don’t have to put up with my name :) Do what you want! You do you honey!!)

Warnings(?): Anatomy (guts, body parts, blood, etc.) A butchery, Just blood. IMAGINE WILL PROBABLY BE THE CRINGIEST YOU’VE EVER READ IN YOUR LIFE.

Scene: Reader is having a terrible Valentine’s Day. Nobody has given them a Valentine so they’re feeling left out, resulting in them to focus on schoolwork. On a field trip to the local museum for a science class, Reader slowly starts receiving Valentine’s gifts from a green eyed admirer. 

PLAYLIST: 

1. Love Hurts by Nazareth

2. Every Breath You Take by The Police

3. Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

—

The sound of other students in the hallways of Derry High annoyed Jae.

It was the dreaded day; Valentine's Day.

Pink, white and red littered the entire school and it made her sick. What a way to rub in the pain that she was gonna be YET AGAIN alone on Valentine's Day.

Students, mostly pathetic little middle schoolers wore dumb pink and red outfits as they scurried around, giving each other bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates, and cringeworthy love letters.It seemed that someone, probably someone from the student body or arts committee wanted to make Valentine's Day this year special, hence why everyone was wearing either pink or red. Some idiots even came dressed as angels, pretending to shoot people with arrows.

It was disgusting.

Jae was probably the only girl wearing a different colour. As she walked over to her locker, students stared at her and snickered.

"Looks like she has no Valentine." "She'll be a loner forever!" "Happy Valentine's Day Jae!" "What a LOSER." "Don't you mean LOVER?"

She barged through the laughing students, shoving a making out couple off her locker. After opening her locker and scrunching up some hurtful Valentine's Day cards from some neanderthal jocks and prissy skanks, Jae grabbed what she needed for the field trip to the museum. Her anatomy class was going to the museum as a part of an assignment on individual parts of the body.

Jae couldn't wait to get to the museum. As well as getting away from all these morons, it was no secret that Jae took a close interest into anatomy class. Her father was a butcher and her mother was a nurse so it wasn't her first time seeing blood and guts, whether it was a bonus help that she learnt about the nifty things that went on inside the human body, much to the other students' horror and disgust.

"So," An obnoxious voice rang in her ear followed by a loud POP!, "who ripped your heart out?" Greta smirked as she leaned against Jae's locker. Jae rolled her eyes, out of all the days that she didn't want to be tormented, today took the angel cake.

Enough was enough. Jae turned to Greta with a fake sad expression.

"You. When I saw you making out with Sally Mueller in the bathroom," she fake sobbed, "it broke my heart in two. How could you Greta?!"

Gasps erupted throughout the hallway followed by mean and taunting chants of "Greta likes girls." With an angry huff, Greta stormed off with all the attention now focused on her.

Jae's anatomy classmate, Beverly Marsh approached her locker in the direction of where Greta charged from. "Jeez, didn't know you and Greta were-"

"I'm not. I just got sick of her. Thought I might do some rumour spreading of my own. Anyways," Jae changed the subject onto the exciting excursion ahead, "what's your project about?"

"Feet and legs and what makes them work."

Jae nodded, not wanting to continue the discussion, due to her bored and slightly irritated tone. "You?"

"The heart." Jae responds, rolling her eyes at the ironic theme. Beverly gave a small smile before looking behind her. Her face dropped, scurrying off with a quick; "See you on the bus."

Instead of the cliche turn around, Jae shrugged before following Bev out to the bus where her anatomy class were waiting.

If only she did turn would she have met her green eyed admirer that would soon spoil her silly in the weirdest of ways.

---

After the lame presentation which was both interesting yet extremely irrelevant to Jae, the anatomy teacher granted the class permission to do individual exploring, where the students could either get something to eat or explore other parts of the exhibit.

Jae had her eye on the heart exhibit; it was a maze where there were info cards, hanging and touchable props and video diagrams on all walls. It looked like fun.

So, being a lone ranger, Jae headed directly to the heart maze. But she wasn't the only one.

It seemed that a certain someone had his green predatory eyes for Jae. Patrick Hockstetter was fascinated by her. He followed her around town and the idea that she was working on the anatomy of the heart made him fall for her. He loved that she liked what people would call macabre, he loved that she had an IDGAF attitude yet how devoted she was to her anatomy class. He loved that she was an all out badass.

And don't get him started on her beauty. She was SO MUCH prettier than the other girls of Derry. Her hair was so shiny and when he sometimes stepped behind her at the cafeteria and managed to smell her hair, her hair smelt like strawberries and cream and her skin smelt like the seaside.

He always thought of himself as a smooth operator, yet when it came to Jae, he couldn't muster up the balls to ask her out.

Patrick Hockstetter the chicken.

He didn't like the idea of that going around especially in front of his crush.

So since Valentine's Day was today, it was his chance.

He stood a decent feet away and got out the crumpled love note he was gonna pass to her on the bus. In his neatest writing, which was still messy, he wrote;

"WILL YOU BE THE FIRE TO MY LOINS? LOVE P.H"

As disgusting and cringy as it sounded, Patrick tried to be poetic and literate as he had caught Jae reading the novel "Lolita" on regular basis when the teacher forced him to go into the library instead of loitering with the other members of the Bowers Gang behind the gym. Wrapped in the paper was a small animal heart; in particular a chicken heart.

He clenched the paper, trying not to rip it or squish the heart. Patrick wasn't gonna chicken out now.

He scrunched it up and flung it at her. It hit her, the heart fell out of the paper and splatted on the floor and as she turned around, he disappeared into the other entry of the maze.

---

When she got to the heart of the maze, her eyes bulged as she saw a giant squishy heart in the centre that could be touched. She loved the idea of an interactive model. She pulled out her polaroid camera and took a photo of the model as she had been doing so through the maze.

When she checked the picture she noticed a tall figure in the background but it was blurry so she couldn't determine who it was. Right next to the model was an info card, basically explaining the model was a photo opportunity and that it instructed kids to not climb on the model. There were two small plates; one with another heart; this time a dog heart and the other plate with a small heart cake, there was a note attached that said; "Dissect me? P.H"

This was the second note that she had received from 'P.H'. It was probably some stupid jock playing a prank on her. She knelt down at the little block with the info card nailed to it, grabbing her pocket knife and visciously stabbed it, noticing jam bleeding out of it. There was no way she wasn't ruining the dog heart.

"What is it with people today?" She yells, "Why me of all people to prank on Valentine's Day?! I bet you this is how you're gonna get me! You're gonna jump out and say; 'Ha Ha! Just kidding ya!' Well i'm not as dumb as you think, so knock it off!!!"

Patrick was watching the whole sight, obviously amused and a little hurt that she thought he was messing her over. Patrick crouched down next to her, coughing to get her attention. As soon as she looked at him, she pieced everything together;

PH=Patrick Hockstetter. The hearts= Rumors of him kidnapping and killing animals.

When she turned to him, he sat down beside her and pulled out a small heart shaped box. He really wanted to give her this gift but wasn't sure how she'd react to seeing the gift. "I got this," He rasped as he held out the box, "for you."

Cautiously, she took the red box and lifted the lid. Inside was a heart. She picked it up to check if it was real. It was. It was bigger than the dog heart. His next two words made her slightly shudder.

"It's Human."

"Patrick, How'd you get it?" Jae asked, raising an eyebrow. On the inside she felt weak.

Instead of answering her, he lunged at her, planting his lips on hers. His lips were a bit slimy and chapped and although he did have a bit of bad breath but it didn't matter. Jae may or may not have had an attraction to him due to his mystery. She really liked him but everyone always kept her away from him. This was a dream come true.

"Pat," She asked when they departed from their soft kiss,

"Where'd the human heart come from?”

[pointedheel]

Your name is NIHKEE MOOLAH, and you’re really fucking steamed right now.

That could easily be taken as literal, every breath sending a plume of fog into the icey air around you. It’s barely noticeable in the already misty night, but you can see the swirling movement of air where your breath pushes against the cloud around you. You can make out small snowflakes falling through it, twisting in the air as the breeze shifts around them. It’s been snowing less the last few nights, but it’s cold enough that you still find yourself knee deep in the stuff.

Every step hurts, the cold piercing right past the thick boot you have on your remaining foot. Normally it’s more than enough, but with the snow as high as it is, it isn’t hard for bits to slide past your ankle and pool underfoot. Your other leg doesn’t have that problem, but isn’t much better off, the cold metal of your prosthetic all but freezing your knee off.

If you stay out here too much longer, you’ll get frostbite.

If you head back now, you’ll have to deal with your stupid lusus’ whole song and dance all over again, and you’re way past being willing to do that. You barely notice the cold through your own anger.

You push on.

The moment you stepped outside your lusus ran off, jumping over your backyard’s broken fence and sprinting into the woods beyond. It wasn’t a real forest as much as a park full of trees, there for little more than to let lusii run loose and enjoy themselves. Between the overcast sky and the fog around you, though, it’s hard to tell the difference.

There aren’t any tracks in the snow to follow, your lusus too lightweight to leave them, but you can tell where she is. Glimpses of movement in the fog ahead, branches cracking and trees groaning ahead. You don’t know what she’s playing at. Every step makes your vision a little more blue.

Something slams into your back, pushing you deep enough in the snow that for a moment you can’t see anything else. You can’t even react before you’re dragged back out and lifted into the air, held in fingers so long that they touch their own wrist.

Above you is a blizzard terror, so tall and long that you can’t make out its head in the fog. As it stands, straightening up from when it grabbed you, you lose sight of its feet as well. It takes three seconds for you to start struggling, straining against the fingers around your midsection, pulling at them with one hand while the other pounds at its wrist.

It takes another three before it slams you back into the ground.

Your head was rattled the first time, but it’s even worse the second, the creature’s height adding at least ten feet to your fall. If you were anyone else, either strike could have been bone shattering. As it is, you felt your body strain, the force of your fall pressed solely into the areas first to hit the ground. Your back feels wet and warm, and you don’t know whether its your blood or hypothermia and snow. Something breaks, but you don’t know whether it was you or not.

The terror lifts you for a third attempt.

You fight as hard as you can, hitting the thing’s hand as again and again. You can feel the impacts through it’s fingers, each one hard enough to bruise you through them, but its grip never loosens.

You reach the apex of your journey upwards, held so high above the ground that you can’t see it. There’s nothing in sight but you, the arm, and the all encompassing mist.

The blizzard terror swings downward and something else emerges from the mist. Its head, previously too high, is now just below you, facing down and away as it prepares to kill you. It’s only visible for the moment between you beginning to fall and you colliding with the ground.

You just barely catch it with the tip of your prosthetic.

It’s hand loosens and you’re sent tumbling, thrown through the air rather that spiked into the ground. The landing still hurts, but you live. The same unfortunately goes for the terror, who’s now stumbling around with its head in its hands, screaming at the top of its lungs while dark blood drips between its fingers.

You run.

Every step you remember another sign that should have warned you. How persistent it was in its scratching, how it never made any of the sounds your lusus usually does, how quickly it led you away from your hive and anyone else. It didn’t even have to try very hard. You got angry and stumbled right into it, not even considering the possibility of dangers.

You almost died, and the thing that did it might still be chasing you, and the thing that fills you shares its name; Terror. Pure, unadulterated terror fills every part of your body, driving every thought out of your head, save those recounting how foolish you are and how close you came to death.

Two minutes later, you’re in your hive, door closed behind you and terror long gone. It never stopped screaming, sounding as if an armada ship were being torn apart in those woods, all tearing metal and death rattles.

It takes another three minutes for you to move, your mind finally catching up with your body. You take a step, the now melting snow in your boot squishing as you do. You take another, and you feel a faintly similar sensation through your prosthetic.

There, impaled at the end of it, is one of the terror’s eyes.

You stare at eachother for a moment, then lift up your leg, scraping the ruined flesh off of the somehow pristine metal. It lands on the floor with a quiet splat.

You step back down, wiping the tip of your prosthetic on your doormat, and lift up your other foot. With a far louder splat you bring it down, flattening the eye into paste.

Something adjacent to revenge taken, you stumble further into your hive to rest.

[oneeyewonder91]

Poopin’ at the Musical Food Fest!

It’s time for another pooping adventure! As a famous character once said “take chances, and get messy”. I took that literally this past weekend when I ventured to a local Macaroni and Cheese/Jazz festival. It’s an interesting combination, but made for a cool place to try messing and wetting in public. This adventure was recommended to me by the awesome blogger @poopypantsaudrey

So I have been constipated for a few days now. Not sure why, but I am going to blame the changing of the weather, so heading to the festival knew I was in for an very large poop. Add in my slight intolerance to dairy, I was sure I would be a mess. I choose a nice pair of undies, plus domed a second pair over them for extra support of my load. I also choose a pair of lighter beige pants to show off more staining if that happened (which I was hoping to get a little at least).

I arrived slightly after the festival opened and people were beginning to trickle in. A brass Jazz band was on stage playing a snappy tune and the atmosphere itself seemed to vibrate with each note. I knew that this would be a good adventure. At this point, I could feel the poop that had settled in my intestine beginning build up pressure, but we were still in the early stages of urgency.

I decided first thing was first, get some drinks in me to build up the bladder pressure with the bowel pressure, so I moseyed over to the winery tent to grab a glass and enjoy the music. Choosing a white wine, I sat down to hurry up and wait for the big moment. The wine went down smooth as silk, and soon I decided to try a second glass. As the second glass went down, I could feel the wine join the 3 glasses of water I drank before leaving the house. I knew I would have to pee soon, but I wanted to get super desperate.

Time for food!

Mac and cheese has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid, so I was really looking forward to trying some unique versions of a classic. Selecting first a bacon and truffle version, I paid for my food and took a seat at a picnic table to enjoy. The reaction of my stomach was almost exactly what I predicted. After half of this small bowl of pasta, my stomach and bowels were already saying, “Hey, can we try something with less dairy?” Sorry guys, but there is more pasta to come. I next selected a Gorgonzola variety to add a stronger cheese to the mix. My body was now telling me to stop.

It had been about an hour since the wine, and my my bladder was at a 7. Couple that with my growing evermore urge to poop, and I knew the time was coming.

In order to help things along, I went to walk around. There were a number of different organization out fund raising and musicians and instrument stores showing off their skills, so I examined a few guitars that caught my eye. Desperation growing as I was looking around, I gave small little pushes to try and get the poop to the point I wanted it at.

It was time to try another sample of cheesy goodness, and as I left the exhibit area, I gave another push and knew I was a minute away from pooping my pants.

Breathing slowly, I took a few steps forward, trying to hold on as long as I could.

A cramp struck, and struck hard.

BOWELS: Hey listen, we here at bowel control are sending out a warning to him, don’t take another step

I tethered on my spot, swaying back and forth. I wanted to get somewhere to sit down to poop, but didn’t know if I could make it.

But I needed to try. Raising my right foot, I took a cautious.

BRAIN: He’s taking another step.

BOWELS: Ok, engage poop, but just pop it out a small bit and give him a warning fart

A small bit of gas escaped me as the tip of a large poo slide out between my buns and stopped. Looking around, I knew now I would never make. Slowly, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small bit of change and nonchalantly dropped it on the ground. Crouching down, I gave a hard push and with a airy fart, and huge turd slid out of me and flopped into my underwear. The warmth of it made me smile, and as a family walked past me, I pretended like I was just counting my change. I pushed again and felt more poop fill the unoccupied space in my pants. I am sure there was somewhat of a bulge, but nothing to noticeable....yet.

As the last bit exited my colon and found a home in my pants, I stood up and felt the weight in my hind region sagging my pants. There wasn’t an obvious smell, but the wind was blowing, so someone may have smelled me but wouldn’t be able to pinpoint it. Looking around, I saw one of the food vendors at his stand nearby portioning our a new batch of his pasta. Walking over, I asked him what was in it. He proceeded to tell me it was his grandmother’s recipe and was a spicy Mac and cheese with jalapeños. I wasn’t hungry, but I did need to pee. So as we continued our conversation, with him on one side of a counter and I on the other, I slowly started to pee, letting the flow pick up by itself until I could feel the warm pee flowing down my legs. My shoes got wet, but I wasn’t that worried about it. It felt so good to let the floodgates open that I almost sighed, but managed to contain myself. 😊

As I finally finished peeing, I thanked him for all the info, and left. I couldn’t believe what I had done: I peed right next to someone and he never knew! The experience of doing that was a huge rush and was a rush I had never experienced before.

Feeling like I should probably make my exit, I headed for the gate and to the car. I exited the festival and then realized I had forgotten something I wanted to do. Another blogger had recently had an adventure where they plopped down in a chair and smashed the poopy down. I really wanted to try this. But where to try it? Looking around the parking area, I spotted a group of extra chairs that were stacked up waiting in case the need for extra seating arose. Seeing no one close by, I walked over and unfolded one of the steel chair and set it on the ground. I turned my back to it and speedily sat down on in with SPLAT. The harder poop pushed up into my butt as the softer poopies go squish. Immediately, the smell of poop that wasn’t noticeable before now became very noticeable. I wiggled around to make sure the poopy was good and flat and then stood up. My pants weren’t nearly as weighted down now, but I felt like I had made a giant pancake. I walked to the car, put down two towels as a precaution and drove home with the windows down. Didn’t want that smell to linger.

After a shower and cleaning my shoes up, the pairs of underwear and pants were disposed of and I had a chance to reflect. I had a really awesome time doing this adventure, hope that I will get another chance to do one similar to it in the future. With Thanksgiving coming for us USA folks, there is a big parade planned for the big holiday. I’m thinking about trying to get up to some messy fun there, but that is a story for the near future.

Until then though, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this adventure. If you have any suggestions for future adventures, feel free to throw them out there.

Until next time, keep up the wetting and pooping everyone!😊😊😊💩💩💩💩

[tinycamembert]

can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , marian and cyanthia (also i see your ask but my responsibilities have come back to bite me so it MAY take a while to get done but eventually. i will)

Marian

favorite thing about them: uuughhhhgfjkdkjd i love her........... i think it has to be how she takes younger players or less experienced players like logan or whinter and becomes a mentor to them and gives them support bc she knows how it feels.... like the fact that one of the reasons she chose whinter was bc she understood his financial situation and wanted to give him a chance. im emoleast favorite thing about them: Bad At Communication fdjfdk but i dont mean it like its a bad development of her character? like i think it makes her a v well-rounded and realistic character lol. but girl..... quit avoiding ur problems n face that shit head on u know. u can do itfavorite line: probably the page in final match where she says something along the lines of "you guys have worked really hard and no matter what happens, i'm proud of you...... NOW GET OUTTA HERE" fsdkjfhds. honorable mention the time she called whinter starfish brainbrOTP: her and the rest of splat jam like i said for logan, also her and clem! and i want her and cyanthia to be friends lol i just feel like past any initial Weirdness they'd have bc Same Crush they'd probably get along pretty well, the same way arnick and cyanthia are buds yknowOTP: Maribella The End (although if vadelma gets more consistent development in bup i wouldnt be upset if they end up together bc i feel like its p expected yknow? they both gotta work some stuff out before it really seems viable imo, but unless its really horribly done im not gonna be mad at a canon lesbian romance in a series that im a fan of)nOTP: i mean. marian with any guy. like shes a lesbian who has two really viable and interesting female love interests right there in the comic. anyone who seriously wants to ship her with some dude who she probably has like two lines with in canon if that.........? such bad taste lol cant relate sorry random headcanon: hm i have a good deal of headcanons abt her... but one is that she probably has a very dry sense of humor that pops up unexpectedly and No One is ready for it bc she's serious most of the timeunpopular opinion: kinda referred to it above but if she still has lingering feelings or has unresolved issues from her relationship with bella, her and vadelma would not realistically last or have a good relationship... its not gonna be convincing in canon if we see how marian has such a strong history w bella and then it never gets resolved before she moves onsong i associate with them: comeback kid by sleigh bells and bishops knife trick by fall out boy bc i love crying. i gotta make a playlist for her at some pointfavorite picture of them: 

couldn’t just choose one... there are more ofc but for the sake of space here’s 2

Cyanthia

favorite thing about them: she doesn't take shit from anyone! even tho she's "delicate" as tammy says and gets hurt easily she's still tough and really skilled at her sport and thats just Relatable For Me Babey !least favorite thing about them: boy i sure wish she had a solid personality or more than like three canon lines. tammy has acknowledged this before so i hope she gets more focus in bup (ik she's not a super prominent character in the story and thats fine but that doesn't mean she should be like... totally neglected in terms of content yknow)favorite line: "Oh! If it isn't the manipulative seacow who got Belladonna out of the team because she had a crush on the captain." LIKE...... SHE REALLY DID THAT. GO OFFbrOTP: i like that she and arnick are friends!! like i said for tetrox i just wanna see toxink shenanigans all day long.. also although i can totally see how she and tetrox wouldn't get along at first but if the whole team is so close i think they'd become really good friends eventually! OTP: bellanthia!! i do prefer bella ending up with marian in the end but bellanthia is still rly good and i like their dynamic and i will never complain when we get content of them because its so rare fkdjsfhsnOTP: literally any guy considering she canonically hates men lmfao just dont (like there was that ask where tammy said something along the lines of  "arnick is the only guy she can really tolerate" lmfao)random headcanon: she's really into fashion and gives everyone on toxink outfit advice whether they want it or not jfdhkfjs. also she's rly good at makeup and the rest of toxink let her practice new looks on them unpopular opinion: idk if this is unpopular but like.... that quote about vadelma getting bella kicked off the team? she was right and she should say itsong i associate with them: you should see me in a crown by billie eilish. its Gothfavorite picture of them:

subtle cheek squish. nice (also any picture where she’s being Gay for bella and making that face where she’s like “WOW i like this girl. wow”)

[sodokachi]

You’ve Got To Be Kitten Me.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 This is Chapter 4

AO3 Link

Summary: Adrien finds some actual literal kittens on the side of the road and decides to take them in. Hijinks ensue as he attempts to hide them from his father’s employees, his friends, and Ladybug. Spoiler alert: He doesn’t succeed.

Chat Noir ran along the Parisian rooftops, only illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

He had tucked Grumpy into the towel he had picked up and was doing his best as he went along to not jostle the little grey kitten. He glanced down, noticing the kitten’s eyes had a little bit of gunk around them.

“That’s a bad sign.” He muttered. He quickened his pace. Even if it wasn’t needed he still wanted to get there as soon as possible.

He landed on a street close to the school. He found it odd that the person Plagg knew lived so close to the school, but when he heard the soft mewl coming from his arms he let his suspicions go. The kitten looked unusually tired; his little eyes were drooping as he tried to stay awake.

“Don’t worry Grumpy. The healer should be right through this door.” He said softly, gently pressing the bottom of his gloved finger up against the kitten’s nose.

The kitten sneeze sounded so cute that Chat couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. The still drooping eyes of the kitten, however, did push him to walk up to the healer’s door.

He knocked on it loudly. “Hello? Is anyone home?” He asked loudly.

He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for an answer. He glanced down at the kitten and felt himself smile at Grumpy’s cute sleeping face. He didn’t notice his foot stop tapping as he gently scratched between Grumpy’s ears. He hummed contentedly at the sound of the kitten’s soft purr.

The door in front of him opened up to an old man wearing red pajamas with yellow roses and vines printed on it. “Yes?” He asked curiously. The man looked over him closely. “What does the illustrious Chat Noir need of an old man like myself?”

He blinked. For some reason he had forgotten he was Chat Noir. “Ah. I heard you might be able to help my cat?” He gestured the bundle in his arms forward.

The elderly man blinked and took a step outside to look down and the kitten. His eyes ran over the kitten’s body. He frowned. “Who told you to come to me?” He asked slowly as he gently put his hand under the kitten’s chin to get a better look.

Chat grimaced slightly. “A… mutual friend, apparently.”

The healer quirked his lips at the dodgy way Chat was acting and hummed in consideration after the kitten opened its eyes. “Well, I don’t make a habit of treating animals, but I’ll make an exception for one of the heroes of Paris.”

The old man turned and headed back inside. He tilted his head back to ask Chat to follow him.

Chat did as he was told. He glanced around the home, noticing the Chinese styling. Now that he was actually here his doubts further plagued him. He could only hope and trust that the old man would know how to help Grumpy. He wasn’t sure if trusting Plagg on the old man was a good idea. Plagg hadn’t truly led him astray before, but this was far more important than anything he had needed to trust his kwami with before. “Let’s think of this as a trust fall, Plagg.” He mumbled under his breath.

The old man gestured for him to sit down at a low wooden table. Chat kneeled down on the mat next to the table and gently laid down the bundle containing his kitten. He hesitated in letting go of the bundle of fluffy kitten. He felt anxious at the thought of failing Grumpy. He didn’t want to lose anyone else.

“It’s alright, Chat Noir. I can and will help the little one.” The old man assured him.

Chat looked up at the soft assurance and gentle let the kitten go. “Um, I don’t want to be rude,” He frowned slightly. “But our mutual friend didn’t mention your name.”

The old man chuckled. “Of course he didn’t.” He shook his head in amusement. “My name is Fu.” He said softly.

Chat mouthed the name and looked down to watch Fu placed his hand on the kitten’s stomach. “Will he be alright, Dài Fu?” Chat let a small smirk slip onto his face.

Fu smiled widely, amused at his punny address. “Don’t worry. I’m used to far harder tasks than treating an ill kitten.”

While Chat watched, Fu walked over and picked up a small gong. He walked back over and calmly hit the gong a couple times above the kitten. Chat wondered if it sleep deprived and he was just seeing things when he saw a soft glow overtaking the little kitten.

Finally, Fu placed his hands over the kitten and held them there for several seconds. After he hummed a bit and then hit the gong one more time before nodding in satisfaction.

“There. He should be better now.”

The kitten blinked lazily at Chat and then meowed loudly and stretched. “How did that work?” He murmured. He gently picked up the kitten and grinned when Grumpy nipped at his fingers. “Still Grumpy I see.” He hummed happily.

“Some secrets, including my abilities, should be kept secret. Don’t you agree Chat Noir?” Fu said calmly.

Chat cracked a smile at the man. “I have no problems with keeping secrets.”

Fu just nodded.

Chat enveloped the kitten with the towel and stood with the bundled up kitten now once again in his arms. “Thank you for your help.” He bowed slightly, shifting to make sure he was not squishing the kitten.

“You are very welcome, Chat Noir. It made me happy to be able to help out an old friend.” Fu smiled.

Really, Chat thought as he climbed onto the school roof. That was a lot easier than I expected it to be.

He’d make sure to trust Plagg more in the future. He was also definitely getting the cheese obsessed kwami a whole wheel of his favorite for helping with Grumpy.

He tensed up when he heard a soft thump come from behind him. He turned around quickly and held the bundle protectively to his chest.

Ladybug stood on the edge of the rooftop. She held her yoyo limply out in front of her as she looked at him in surprise. She looked disheveled. One of her pigtails was missing its ribbon, some of her hair was sticking up, and it was frizzier than normal.

He blinked, slightly startled. Usually Ladybug waited until Sunday night to patrol and her appearance… His eyes narrowed. “Is there an akuma?” He asked, quickly scanning the rooftops with his eyes.

Ladybug slowly shook her head. “No, I just needed some air…” She shifted anxiously. “What’s that?” She changed the subject.

He frowned at the finger pointing at the bundle he held securely to his chest. “It’s a kitten.” He pulled pack the towel a bit and Grumpy poked his head out and mewed tiredly.

Ladybug stared at the kitten. “Um. Chat, why do you have a kitten?” She hesitated before adding more. “You know you’re not really a cat, right? You can’t actually have kittens yourself.” She explained gently.

Chat gave her a deadpan glare for her effort. “I know.” He said flatly. “I picked up this guy and three more the other day.”

She giggled nervously. “I was just joking!” She waved her hand. Her left eye twitched a bit.

He titled his head at her in a dubious manner and his grumpy kitten copied him. “Right.”

“Right.” She smiled tightly. “I’m just gonna go bye!” She swung away.

“That was weird.” He muttered and then turned to look at the kitten. “Wonder what’s up with her.” The kitten mewed at him. “Yeah, she was acting weird.”

He frowned at her retreating back and proceeded to sigh with a smile on his face. “Let’s go home.” He wrapped Grumpy back up with the towel. He would have to wait till their next patrol to ask Ladybug what was wrong.

Her reaction to him having kittens was interesting. Apparently, he didn’t even need to hide the kittens from Ladybug. Since she seemed so disinterested.

A few moments later he landed quietly in his room and was welcomed by typical silence. He sighed. He hated how quiet it got in his… wait. It hadn’t been this quiet since he found the kittens.

He quickly walked over to the box and groaned tiredly. The box was empty.

“Of course, such troublemakers.” He muttered under his breath.

Something soft pressed against his hand and he blinked. Looking down he stared in surprise at Grumpy. The grey kitten was looking at him in what seemed to be concern. He gently patted him on the head. “You stay here while I go find your siblings, okay?” The kitten meowed sympathetically at him in response.

He put Grumpy down into the box and smiled at him. “Your name is going to confuse a lot of people if you keep acting so sociable, kitten.” He said affectionately.

He looked around the room. Seeing nothing he quickly hopped up to the upper part of his room. Still not finding the kittens, he jumped down onto his bed and transformed back into Adrien.

Plagg spiraled out of his ring and used the momentum to float over to Adrien’s desk like a piece of paper.

He yawned. “What a day… hey what’s with the face?”

Adrien sighed, exhausted. “The other three are missing.” He said simply, his hand limply gesturing to the kitten box.

Plagg stared at him. “You know what? I’ll go find them. You wait here.”

Adrien gaped at him. “Huh?”

Plagg floated over to the door. “I expect a whole wheel of camembert for this.” He told him.

Adrien’s mouth closed and he smiled. “Of course, thank you Plagg.”

Plagg scoffed softly, an affectionate glint shining in his eyes, and phased through the door.

Adrien’s newly good mood remained as he got ready for bed. Thankfully, it was unlikely that the kittens would be discovered. Nathalie had left a couple hours ago and his father was an early bird. He would trust Plagg to find and return the kittens. After all, he did promise himself to trust his kwami more.

After showering, slipping into some white silk pajamas, and dealing with his dental hygiene Adrien walked out of his bathroom to see Plagg wrestling with Splat. The two rolled around the room as they fought over something Adrien couldn’t see.

Blinking in surprise at the strange scene, Adrien smiled when Little Lady padded over to him and started rubbing against his legs.

He kneeled down and started petting the spotted kitten. He glanced around the room looking for Stripes and smiled when he noticed her trying to get to Grumpy. He stood from his kneeling position and made his way over to the box.

“Give me back my cheese you ungrateful-!” Plagg hissed at Splat as they rolled around. They were both holding onto a small piece of camembert. Adrien assumed Plagg had stolen it from the kitchen while looking for the kittens.

Once he reached the box he kneeled down again. He picked up Stripes so that he could reunite her with Grumpy by placing her back into the box. Stripes jumped on Grumpy as soon as he placed her down, the striped kitten licking her brother affectionately. Grumpy struggled to get her off before giving up and mewing softly. He went to place Little Lady there too, but she slid out of his hands when he tried to pick her up and ran away in the direction of his bed.

Sighing contentedly, Adrien watched as she jumped and clawed her way onto his bed. He smiled and shook his head as the kitten curled up on his pillow.

He turned his head back to Plagg just in time to see the kwami’s victory. “The cheese in this house is mine and don’t you dare forget it!” He gloated as he floated above Splat.

Splat meowed pitifully and looked up at Plagg with wide unblinking blue eyes. Plagg glowered back. “Those eyes don’t work on me! I invented that technique.”

The kitten’s eyes widened further and he half pawed at Plagg and somehow mewed even more pathetically than before.

Plagg hesitated. Splat stared intently. Plagg grimaced. Splat mewed cutely. “Fine!” Plagg shouted, giving up. “Take the stupid cheese.” He grumbled. He tossed the tiny piece of cheese at the kitten.

Splat happily caught it in his mouth and mewed thankfully. “Yeah, yeah!” Plagg continued grumbling.

Adrien smiled secretly at the sight and quietly swooped Splat into his arms. The kitten mewed at him in surprise. He smiled at him. “Sleep time little kitten.” He whispered.

Splat gave him an almost petulant look as he put him in the box. Adrien’s lip quirked up in amusement at the rebellious kitten’s behavior.

Yawning, Adrien crossed the room and plopped down on his bed. He put his head down next to Little Lady’s. He fell asleep quickly, missing his favorite kitten curling up into a ball against his neck.