#(with that attitude good riddance my dude)

[itsalcngstory]

Unfollow after you made Logan a gay pansy

Awww oh nooooo come backkkkkk

[kowlsy]

Thinking about model E and his direct manager B

Because E has been in the industry since he was a teen, one of the youngest to walk for Gucci in their mens collection-- back when they still did silks Its not so dramatic as a mall scout, but his mum knew someone who needed a kid to walk and then 2 college shoots later he signed

It's been his life, forever, and fuck if the editorials won't stop talking about his "unique look"; he's asian and his teeth aren't straight but he's hot, he knows it, and he can make clothes look sexy or trendy, or timeless, can tilt his chin and sell 3 mil worth of coats.

Of course, he's a disaster. He knows it, his agency knows it. The press suspect it, but he's not messy, and not so big of a model-celeb that they're going to mess around with digging up shit, he's only been to the met gala twice for fucks sake but. Point stands. Eddy's a mess.

Enter Brett Yang. Failed fashion photographer, with an attitude and a passionate love for a well documented google calendar. ("you're the only one who calls yourself failed dude" "well it's not paying my bills, is it?") He's not going to play nice. He's not going to be your mum

But-- after being assigned to Eddy, he is going to make sure that Eddy walks last for at /least/ evening shows friday of NYFW. ("How can you call yourself failed if you are on first name basis with head designers of all the top houses??" "well it's not paying my bills, is it?")

And if that means printing himself a copy of Eddy's key to get him out of bed? So be it. If that means hauling his ass to the ER at 1am so he can get fluids after eating bad fish, and what a delicate constitution this guy has- So be it.

Eddy doesn't hate this guy, he kinda wants to fuck him, the dude clearly hasn't relaxed in 10 years but that can be fun- n compared to some of his managers - the one who wanted to fuck him, Brett's nice. Tells him where they're going instead of shoving him in a car, smiles at him like he's a person, and not a clothes hanger, or a piece of meat. It's as professional as a relationship can be when one person buys the others underwear and neither of them really get days off Or it is until-

Eddy gets an interview. A real one, not a half page on the inside of a fashion catalogue, but a real one, meant for a magazine, about growing up in the industry, and about him, and his //artistic influences// in modeling

And Brett, who has spent the better part of 4 months following this guy around, has seen how he looks at clothes, how he looks at the camera, the lighting rigs, the things he reads- Brett knows artists. ("You're not a failure. You just decided to do something else." "Okay")

Brett takes the printout, damn near a word for word script the that the agency had given to him, to 'prime' Eddy for the interview, and bins it. Tells Eddy to just be real, be honest. And fuck his job, he kinda hates this job even if it does pay the bills, Eddy deserves to speak

And Eddy knows there's a printout, there's always a printout, but Brett is smiling at him, and maybe Eddy doesn't just want to fuck him maybe he wants to know who Brett is outside of work, when he's not got his nose buried in a google calendar Because fuck, Eddy deserves to speak

And he does, fuck it, he's been doing this for too long, he's tried of being a coatrack even if he's really fucking good at it. And twitter loves it, and he gets 30 more requests for interviews and apparently he's blacklisted for working from Chanel ever again-- good riddance

And really, more importantly when he sits on Bretts couch, soft on his skin of his thighs, laptop open to job listings, Brett humming something under his breath in the kitchen as he works on coffee for the both of them That's the only magazine Brett has of him on the coffee table

[back-on-my-bucky-bs]

When primeboys meet irl its gonna make innittwt kill themselves srs

Bro...my dude...my guy...

I say good riddance for one

But like I never understood how/why fans of certain mcyters could hate other mcyters when they're all friends?!?!?!

Like what Crack are you smoking for real??

Like yeah I understand having favorites but downright hating on the others? It makes no sense.

And sure I say I hate Jack Manifold and Purpled but it's mostly for lols. JM just gives me an odd vibe and sometimes I dont like Purpled's attitude. but I'm not going to boycott them if they Interact with anyone else. I don't send them hate or talk about them like they're some evil people. Cause they're not? None of the people on the dsmp are??

The level of mind games one has to play to ignore Tommy and Dreams friendship though is honestly ridiculous.

Tommy has enamored Dream since day 1.

Dream treats Tommy like an annoying little brother.

It's cute and I'm so fucking excited for them to meet up one day and if inniters with no brain end up unstanning like so many of them are saying rn? Then fucking go. Goodbye we don't want your shitty opinions and toxic attitudes here anyway.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.

lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one

(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)

-- fff why did I laugh

it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME

also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks

blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?

AHHHHHHH

PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD

(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news

wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN

so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads

oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it

COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO

MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever

WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII

WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA

YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF

(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)

GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT

dsflksaldkh;l

that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders

“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense

well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance

and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol

anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or

NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS

OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG

“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET

LMAO

“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me

YAY THEY SAVED THEM

but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them

goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here

oh my god

is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT

OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD

“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though

...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god

omg finally something interesting is happening!!

look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme

MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH

I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE

OH MY GOD

MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK

THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --

I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!

HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??

......

HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM

FUCK

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS

FUCK

GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI

AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU

NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”

AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped

p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway

(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 

so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)

shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters

(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)

and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit

so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol

ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting

so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what

OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH

Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC

“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith

UM

 ( •̀ へ •́  )

that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite

GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out

is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what

anyways. your turn to what??

:’) excuse me what

hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay

so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg

but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol

meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit

anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it

[algernoninwonderland]

So, Guiltrip! I finally watched it, in French, and it was pretty neat!

The Good:

Rose herself. Rose’s personality can be summed up as “sunshine who takes no shit and could deadlift a horse if she put her mind to it” and that’s always fun to watch. Pigella looks like a magical girl and that design is actually interesting for once, instead of the usual full-body disaster. Her power is cool!

The class is fun and enjoyable and spending more time with all most of them is always a good thing. They behave like actual teenagers and retain their personalities

Adrien is empathetic in this one. Like, sincerely empathetic. I’m a bit torn about this, but I would be lying if I said part of me didn’t like seeing it.

Expressive lighting in scenes not set outdoors! I like it when the show remembers that it can make full use of its being a visual medium to convey meaning.

The storyboarding is solid, the shot composition and blocking are nice, Christophe Yoshida is really good at placing characters in the frame.

The "apple” gag was genuinely funny. Just some good visual comedy in general.

Juleka’s character animation is really good in this one. Like, really really good.

Guiltrip is hella gonzo. I quite like it. I got strong Fantastic Voyage vibes from this sentimonster.

Nino is a selfless friend/boyfriend.

The effects animation when Rose’s optimism blows the bubbles away! It was a great-looking moment!

If you love Sad Noir, you’ll love this. He makes the saddest faces here, he’s really sad.

YES! NO MORE REFLEKTA! FINALLY! Good riddance.

The Bad:

The structure and pacing is bizarre.

The rendering in “sunlit” scenes is, as often, not very good.

Nino is a selfless friend/boyfriend. He’s defined by the characters around him, he gets like 90% of his character traits from fanon. He’s just Adrien’s bro and Alya’s boyfriend, he’s nice, he likes movies and he says “dude”.

Bumping into each other as a romantic moment. We’ve had three seasons of that. I’m so tired.

The boiler room has always looked non-boiler-room-esque but man does it look non-boiler-room-esque.

Adrien is empathetic in this one. Like, sincerely empathetic. He’s too good at finding the right words and the proper attitude for someone who’s been sheltered for so long, it doesn’t really fit with how he behaved in many other episodes. I guess his writing is somewhat consistent in that he’s perfect therefore he behaves perfectly. Yawn.

Reflekta. Again. Boo. It doesn’t even stick with the difficulties Juleka is encountering.

Ha ha ha. Gratuitous Star Wars reference. Ugh. I crave the sweet embrace of death.

Some of the effects animation isn’t very good, like, the weird ooze splatter dissolves way too quickly. And that’s not gonzo.

“Fighting negative thoughts with positive thoughts” is a message you’d find in cartoons 20 years ago. “Don’t be sad, that’s not rad.” It’s a bit shallow and easy. Fortunately, Rose makes that bearable but still, that’s a little disappointing.

If you hate Sad Noir, you’ll hate this. I found his sadness really superficial, as is too often the case.

We go from this very touching moment between Rose and Juleka to "let’s punch the villains” with a slow action scene (which makes sense, they’re floating, but it doesn’t make it any less unexciting).

Wow, that lucky charm is really fucking stupid, huh?

Ha ha ha. Gratuitous Kaamelott reference. Ugh. I crave the sweet embrace of death.

I’m not a Kantian so the whole “good will” thing flies over my head.

Lila is doomed to be a background character for the rest of her existence on screen, isn't she?

The Ugly:

Nothing too egregious, really!

All in all, it was a good one! All episodes don't need to have super high stakes to be enjoyable! It could have been even better with a bigger focus on Juleka and Rose, and also by having Julerose be textual and not mostly relegated to subtext, but I can always dream.

[heyyyharry]

flatmate harry’s car breaks down before they start dating and he has to take the bus w yn?

It’s 1AM and my brain decides that I should write something instead of getting some sleep.

.

“Why are you always complaining? Our planet is dying and you’re here bitching about your car breaking down!”

Harry suddenly froze, his eyes widened at his flatmate but a smile immediately spread across his face.

Annoyed, she lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

“Did you just say ‘bitching’?”

“I’m nineteen. I’m allowed to curse.”

“Oh, so my sweet Y/N is all grown up, eh?”

She slapped his hand away when he attempted to pinch her cheek. They were too busy annoying one another that they completely forgot they weren’t the only ones at the bus stop. There was also an old lady, who was irritated by them arguing since the moment they got here.

“She clearly doesn’t want you, son. Give up,” said the old woman as she fixed her sunglasses.

Y/N bowed her head and mumbled a quick apology. Harry, on the other hand, seemed as chill as ever. He laughed and threw an arm over his flatmate’s shoulders. “It’s okay, ma’am. She’s my girlfriend. We’re just teasing, right babe?”

Y/N dropped her jaw at the nickname. “Babe?!”

“Oh, the bus is here, babe!” He cut her off, smiling from ear to ear.

The lady only shot them a glare and quickly got on the bus to get away from them as fast as she could. Despite the grumpy look Y/N was giving him, Harry stroked her head like a cat and urged her to hurry up so they wouldn’t get left behind.

“Don’t sit next to me.”

Confused, Harry watched the girl sit down and place her bag on the empty seat by her side. Ouch, he thought.

“Where else would I sit?”

“Anywhere but here?” She said, not looking at him.

Normally he would’ve sat down anyway just to annoy her, but the looks the others were giving him made him extremely uncomfortable. So he remained silent and chose a seat two rows behind Y/N.

Good riddance, he told himself.

He didn’t want to sit next to her anyway. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had to be around her almost 24/7 and she was constantly breathing down his neck. He would get his car fixed this afternoon, so this would be the first and the last time he’d take the bus with her.

Content with that thought, Harry sat back and relaxed as he watched the buildings and the trees sliding past the window on his right. It was actually pleasant. Well, that was until the bus stopped once again to pick up a new passenger.

He recognized the guy for he’d seen him a few times in his Business Ethics class. He’d never spoken to him, but apparently Y/N had. The guy gave her a little wave as she did the same. To Harry’s surprise, she removed her bag to make room for him to sit down next to her, where Harry should’ve been.

Despite having told himself that he’d feel better back here, those two sitting together was definitely a sight for sore eyes. Did they sit together everyday? How did they meet? What did they usually talk about during the long bus ride?

All those questions made his stomach twist in an awful way and he felt the need to go over there and scare off the dude.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to distract himself with happy thoughts, which were all useless now that Y/N was laughing at something the fucker had just said to her.

That’s it, said the voice inside Harry’s head.

Before his brain could decide what was the right thing to do, his feet sent him up from his seat and took him to where Y/N and her ‘friend’ were sitting.

“Hey, Y/N, got gum?”

“No?” She looked at him funny. He guessed she could already tell that was just a lame excuse to get her attention. But screw it, everyone had been silently judging him since he got on this bus, he had no dignity left now.

“Okay.” He gave her a shrug before turning to the other guy.

“I’m her flatmate,” said Harry with a smile.

Smiling back, the boy introduced himself as Robert, or Robin, or Robot. It didn’t matter what his name was, because Harry was too busy reading Y/N’s facial expression and trying to guess what she was thinking of.

Robot mentioned something about him always admiring how Harry knew all the answers in class. Flattering, yes, but Harry had heard the same thing from almost everyone he knew so it wasn’t really a big deal.

“Why don’t you sit down like any normal person would?” Y/N gave him a sarcastic smile which only amused him.

He smiled back, titling his head and pouting a bit. “Aww, are you worried that I might get aching feet?”

“No, I’m worried that people might assume we’re friends.”

“Funny little thing you are.” He chuckled then turned to Robot, pointing to the paper cup he was holding. “What’s that?”

“Black coffee.”

“S’it good?”

“Don’t answer him,” said Y/N, but neither of the boys paid attention to her now.

“Wanna try?” Robot offered Harry his drink. And so Harry didn’t hesitate as he accepted the cup and took a sip.

“Hmm.” He smiled, licking his upper lip. The way Y/N rolled her eyes and pinched her temple was very entertaining to him. There was something so satisfying about getting a reaction from her, negative or not. Maybe that was why he loved teasing her.

He was about to hand the cup back to Robot to keep on being annoying until the poor kid gave up the seat next to Y/N. But then the bus driver decided to take a sudden turn. All the passengers nearly had a heart attack when Robot screamed and jumped right out of his seat. The cup in Harry’s hand a second ago had fallen onto the floor, now empty, as black coffee was dripping down from the poor guy’s crotch.

Harry tried his best not to laugh as he covered his mouth and said, “I’m so sorry, mate—“

Robot didn’t even let him finish that sentence. He aggressively pushed Harry aside and carried his bag to the back of the bus, not even saying a word to Y/N, who was just as appalled as anyone else there.

Harry watched him go and his eyes soon fell back on his startled flatmate.

“What was that?!” She questioned when he sat down next to her.

“An accident?” He scoffed. “You saw how sharp that turn was. Lucky for me I didn’t fall.”

Y/N groaned and buried her face into her palms. Once again, her reaction made him laugh.

“Not funny!”

“It kind of was. I feel bad for his penis. That coffee was hot.”

She glared at him. “Why can’t you just be serious for once?”

“Oh you want me to be serious?” He sat up straight, his eyebrows furrowed all of a sudden. “How would you feel if I asked you to not walk too close to me, nor sit next to me, nor even talk to me? This is my first time taking the bus to campus, at least be nice about it. I would never do such things to you.”

Her attitude toward him had never changed that fast. In a split second, the look in her eyes turned from anger to guilt as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth, stuttering for a moment before she could say, “I’m sorry...I-I won’t do that again.”

“Gosh.” He breathed, holding her gaze. “You apologized so quickly it’s...actually cute.”

As his mouth spread into a cheeky grin, hers fell opened and her face were all red. She smacked him on the arm, her eyebrows snapped together. “Damn you! Is everything a joke to you?”

“No!” He put up both hands, trying to contain his laughter. “You did hurt my feelings!”

“Yeah, right. As if you had feelings.” She crossed her arms and looked straight ahead instead of at him. What she couldn’t see now was the way he was smiling at her, like she was the most precious thing in the world. Clearly, that wasn’t how you looked at someone you claimed to hate.

“Listen,” he broke the silence between them after a few seconds. “You don’t have to apologize every time someone makes you think that you should. People will take advantage of you for that.”

She stayed silent, only giving him a nod to let him know she understood. That was when he noticed her expression softening, and his heart fluttered for a reason he couldn’t explain.

“Still want me to go?” He teased.

“No.” She shook her head despite not looking at him. “You’d cause trouble again. It’s better if you’d just sit still.”

“You could just say you love sitting next to me.”

“In your dream.”

He snorted at the response, and now couldn’t take his eyes off her lovely pouty face. And so he told himself, maybe taking the bus wasn’t so bad after all.

[wndamaximov]

i never stopped loving you

my writing

Request: Hey! Could you do a shot with Dean, where Dean pushes the reader away by making it look like he cheated tho he didn't (cuz he knows she won't leave him because of his self doubts) and when a couple years later they meet, reader pretends like they're strangers, talks to him all business. Dean loves her and is hurt, regrets pushing her away and she loves him too but is very self conscious now so she carries the idc-attitude? Emotional but happy ending please? (Reader and Sam are besties too?)😅

Requested by: anon

Words: 871

Warnings: angst, cheating, brief mentions of violence, and overall dean being an idiot

A/N: written for @foreverwayward​‘s writing challenge too- prompt highlighted in bold. the song mentioned in the fic is lady, by styx

-------------

Lake George, a small town in New York. A wendigo had brought him there, and love made him leave. Whenever Dean closed his eyes, he was brought back to the moment he had watched the love leave your eyes. He knew it was wrong, to trick her like that, but she wouldn’t have left him otherwise. And now he was back.

It looked exactly like he remembered. The only thing different was him. He was older and scarred from countless battles, and getting ready to fight another. A possible vengeful spirit, and if not, then he would leave town faster than you could say, “Let’s get the hell outta Dodge.”

In a perfect world, he could’ve gone the entire time without ever seeing her.

-------------

As y/n saw him enter, she could feel her heart stop. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get the image out of her mind, but it screamed at her, burning it into her eyelids. Dean with a man. With a man. In bed. Doing-

Pressing her nails into her palm, she willed the memory away, focusing on the pain instead. Then, she put on a smile, as if nothing had ever happened.

They- Sammy trailing behind- walked up to the counter with a handful of supplies.

“Hey Sam!” She walked out from behind the counter to give him a hug, deliberately ignoring his brother standing awkwardly beside them. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah, it has. So, how’ve you been?” 

She walked back behind the register with Sam’s things in her hands, and began to scan them. “Good- great, in fact. You here for those missing kids?” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dean making an escape. Good riddance.

“Unfortunately, yeah. Can you tell us anything?”

Y/n shook her head. “I wish I could help, Sammy.”

“That’s alright.” He paid, then picked up his things from the counter. As he turned around to walk away, he called back, “You take care!”

“You too,” y/n whispered, burying her head in her arms.

-------------

“You could’ve at least said hi.”

Dean slammed the door to the Impala, not paying attention to him.

“C’mon Dean, you know I’m-”

“And said what, Sammy? Huh?” Sam stared at him blankly, and so he continued. “Hi, I’m sorry for cheating on you y/n, but you know what? I did it for you, ‘cuz Iove you, and I never stopped loving you. Friends?”

Sam shook his head. “Just drive.”

Dean jammed the keys into the ignition and turned the volume on the radio all the way up before slamming his foot down on the gas.

Lady, when you're with me I'm smiling Give me all your love Your hands build me up when I'm sinking Touch me and my troubles all fade Lady, from the moment I saw you Standing all alone You gave all the love that I needed-

He turned the radio off.

-------------

Dean was an idiot. He’d gotten hurt, bad. Sam looked at him, sleeping peacefully surrounded by tubes and monitors, and wondered what on God’s earth persuaded him to do what he did to y/n.

Just as if summoned, y/n burst through the door. 

“Where is he? Is he alright?”

Sam pointed at the bed, then said, “He’s sleeping right now. He’ll survive, but he’ll have to walk with crutches for a while. He got stabbed in the stomach too, and the doctors said that’ll make it harder to walk, for a while, at least.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, he is.”

They sat on the chairs beside his bed in silence for a while, y/n leaning her head on Sam’s shoulder.

“Do you know why he did it?” y/n asked suddenly.

She didn’t need to clarify for Sammy to understand. “Because he loves you. He wanted to protect you from seeing him like, well, like he is now.”

“Well, that failed spectacularly then.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it did.”

Just then, Dean stirred. Y/n jumped up and went to his side.

Sam took the opportunity to say, “I guess I’ll leave you two alone.”

------------- 

Dean woke up to y/n gently running her fingers through his hair. He shifted, and she leaped up, startled.

“I-I-I was just leaving, sorry-”

“Wait no- stay. Please.”

She sat back down.

“I’m sorry that I did what I did.”

“It’s okay. Sammy explained everything.” She held his hand and kissed him on the forehead.

“‘Course he did. Dude always steals my thunder.”

“You gonna be alright?” she asked, gesturing towards his injuries.

“It’s just a flesh wound. I’ll be fine.”

“Good. Well, I’d better get going.” She got up and walked towards the exit.

“Already? No good-bye kiss?”

“I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, Dean. You broke my heart remember?”

“I never stopped loving you, you know.”

“I know.” She smiled softly and closed the door behind her. Dean listened to her footsteps for as long as he could as she walked away and stared at the ceiling, letting the memories wash over him and the drugs from the plastic tubes carry him into sleep.

Lady of the morning, Love shines in your eyes. Sparkling, clear, and lovely, You're my lady...

-------------

angels: @theadventurousqueen​ @jll72-blog​ @rebelwriter95​ @5aftermidnight​ @mcuwillbethedeathofme​ @rebellion-12th-century-blog​

dean winchester: @kaleldobrev​ @yetanotherreader​

supernatural: @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​

[teddy-feathers]

okay kids 1st off dont do this and I'll go into that a little in a sec but

second off sending a message is a way to invite discussion which is oddly not possible if your blog is set not to receive messages go figure so i blocked this too

third of all of the fun things rolling around in my head is why do you even care Im not a content creator and im not even social with the people i really know well enough to be so with here or on other platforms or even irl and other than the fact i just blocked you, i dont know who you are? like youre not one of the people id call acquaintances or friends, so again, i repeat, why do you care?

okay lets get to it

been a while since i had a rant

People block others for a myriad of reasons, we're all responsible for curating our experiences to enjoy and not stress out over social media

However , usually I dont go to the trouble of blocking people - I follow a shit ton and if I dont like something I see I can just unfollow and that fixes the problem

you though, made a negitive dissmissive unnecessary comment on a post that makes me uncomfortable and follow me, so chances are I'll see that attitude again only in my notifications when im scrolling through my feed to see if anyones interacted with me

now i could go into my hang ups about "holier than thou im so smart this is obviously fake" or how im so stressed and sleep deprived on a regular basis that I'm terribly afraid the next mental break down i have will be scary real undeniable and serious and ive felt that way for two months now so im not chancing my hang ups being the straw that drives me to something regrettable

but more importantly im here to be entertained and a heckler usually just brings down the mood and I didnt want it around me and why be dramatic and why share personal info online to someone i made a snap judgement not to like that was more or less instantly justified when i can just manage my feed like a responsible individual and do what i try to encourage in others - take care of myself

like seriously dude im not important and idk why the hell you noticed and didn't think i just suddenly stopped posting which since im at work happens but dude you dont go around asking people why they blocked you unless yall like. talk or something i suppose.

really id recommend going "well good riddance" if you want to be aggressive about it and "aw well theyre doing what's best for them" if you want to be kind about it

like god i want to be nice about this but i also want to be an asshole and say like like dude youre what five? years younger than me and let me tell you this really doesn't fucking matter enough for you to pull this passive agressive shit even if that wasnt your intention and youre genuinely upset - because like you obviously have decided what youve done "wrong" and think its laughable that anyone would be sensitive enough to be bothered by it

and its not even necessarily that youre in the wrong? i just didnt like it, dont like dont read - and i didn't want to read future comments like it. thats a me thing and you made it like your problem and then made your problem my problem while i just did what i could to quietly take care of myself

like seriously dude there are a number of ways to handle a situation and im definitely not handling this one well but seriously? the fuck?

[lindsaybiggers-blog]

i would have done more.

in what i refer to as “hell week” - the home hospice days with my dad, we had a lot of time to talk as i would play night nurse. he’d call me “florence” for florence nightingale and i would watch his every move -- where was he trying to go? was he sleeping? did he eat? does he like this tv show we’re watching? outwardly he kept telling me to stop, but i think inwardly he liked the company and care.

during one of those moments, i asked him if he had any regrets. kinda felt then like a dumb, typical question. a “so you’re on your death bed what do you want to confess” bullshit i pulled. (i wish now i was a better journalist there. sorry pops.) 

but anyways.

his answer was as expected as you’d expect. “nope.” man of many words.

but then he sat back in his comfy chair, interlaced his long bony tan fingers and said “actually yes. i would have done more.” 

never one to tell us who he voted for in any election, but always one to vocalize to the tv when something dumb was occurring - whether sports, weather or politics - we always kinda knew he stood on the right side of history. 

but it wasn’t perfect.

when i brought home my first boyfriend in college who happened to be black, he acted like it was no big deal. but really he wanted nothing to do with him. for a long time, all of us brushed it off as “well he’s not really that good of a dude - so that’s probably why.” but months into the relationship, i finally had the courage to call a spade a spade. it was then that he said something like, “i didn’t raise you to see color but i didn’t realize that i see it myself. i never knew what i would do if this happened and now i’m dealing with it myself.” 

fast forward, that guy was a tool. good riddance. but it paved the way to change in his heart, so by the time ainsley came into lauren’s picture, the painting was full of color and acceptance. 

now back to hell week. “i would have done more.” he talked about how he never liked trump and hated what he was doing to our country. but beyond the obvious, he said something that has stuck with me ever since. he said “i would have protested.”

this man, this mysterious, powerful, giant of a man who i loved, respected and wondered so many times what was he thinking just told me that he would have protested. it was so bold, so out of character for him and his mystery.

today, it’s been two years since he left this earth. my heart doesn’t even ache because he isn’t here. i didn’t wake up thinking “today is the day.” and really that’s because it happened long before june 5. that’s just a dumb day that marks it was finished. 

instead, my heart aches because of the injustices we have in our country and the ignorance we have in people often very close to us. the frustrations i have toward others at the moment, i’m working to turn inward to dig up and deal with  my own personal demons and imperfections. because i remember the days i locked car doors as i drove through the very streets and neighborhood that me and my (much-better!) black boyfriend now call home. because i remember being fearful if mom ran inside a gas station and left me in the car to “fend for myself.” 

we’ve got work to do. i’ve got work to do. 

i’ve had enough. i’m not waiting anymore on the young people to save us, or tolerating the older generation’s “that’s just all i know” attitudes. and i’m not waiting until someone asks me the same stupid question on my death bed - do you have any regrets? 

folks, it’s time to get comfortable in the uncomfortable. to speak up. to stand up. to leave it all on the line.

change is coming. and i’m going with it.

dad - i love you, i miss you. you raised one hell of a daughter, and i’m going to be damn sure to fight like hell to make this world a better place. rest easy, old man.

 below: one of my favorite pictures i captured coming home from a family vacation in Philly, Jan 2016. always mysterious. always thinking. 

[bubblet-ea]

something foreign but altogether completely familiar

“the fuck?”

“please?” jimin all but whined, head tucked comfortably atop yoongi’s lap as both sets of fingers moved rapid-fire against his ps4 game controller.

“no,” yoongi’s green humanoid blob managed to shove jimin’s blue twerky thing to go plunging to his doom off a rotating blimp. 

”hah!” taehyung’s screech could be heard through his headset. “team taegi wildin’ out!”

“come on, just one time,” jimin’s eyes remained glued to the tv screen where he adamantly tried to body flop his way over taehyung’s yellow goop man that tried to throw him off again ”hoseok! you fuckin’ suck! you’re supposed to have my back!”

the only response received was a high pitched cackle-scream hybrid that had jimin flinching, probably bursting one of his eardrums as well. hoseok’s little red floppy dude went plummeting to his doom all on his own at the opposite end of the screen far from the melee going on between the other three players.

“yoongi please,” jimin was just that close of chucking his controller at the tv, nostrils flaring with annoyance at how crap he was at this game. “three hours, tops.”

“fuck no,” yoongi effectively managed to nudge both jimin’s and taehyung’s characters off the blimp, sacrificing his own partner with no remorse. (”hey! what the heck!”). “what part of no don’t you understand?”

“but i said please,” jimin finally tossed his controller and waved his metaphoric white flag of surrender. he opted for rolling flat on his back and lifting his gaze to stare up at the underside of yoongi’s chin with the softest puppy pout he could muster. “i thought we were bros.”

“no,” yoongi somehow managed to continue playing with a single hand, freeing the other to produce a swift flick on jimin’s forehead (”ow.”). “i am your elder, and you are a pint-sized peanut stuffed full of teenage gay angst and i don’t know why i put up with you.”

granted, jimin supposed that was true. yoongi was technically two years his senior. but they’d been practically biffles for life since childhood because their dads were fishing buddies. and jimin would rather have every last one of his teeth pulled out with steel pliers than to actually admit, but he picked this university for the sole purpose that it contained one min yoongi.

because.

best bros.

“but i thought you were my fam,” jimin plopped his body like deadweight and stretched his full height across the couch. “my homie for life, piña to my colada, the half to my whole, soy to my latte-”

“you can fuck right off with that.” 

 “and after all i’ve done for you,” jimin swooned, arm tossed over his eyes in a dramatic effect. he snuck a peak to glance up at the pointy end of yoongi’s nose.

the elder’s eyebrow was in serious danger of shooting up and out through the roof. if jimin didn’t know any better, and he liked to think he knew better than most, yoongi’s expression was definitely in danger of being permanently fixed the way it was, what with yoongi’s constant skepticism and no-fucking-nonsense-stick-up-his-ass-you-mess-with-me-i-will-shove-this-lamp-pole-up-your-fucking-dickhole attitude.

“pray tell, what exactly have you done for me?”

“like that one time,” jimin started, straightening out from his maiden’s swoon and poking up at yoongi’s left piercing. “you were thirsting over taehyung hardcore like the dehydrated prune ass bitch you are. and i had to step in and play cupid so you could finally man up the courage to tap dat.”

“damn boiiiii!” hoseok screeched.

“exposed!” taehyung followed. “i know i’m hot shit and all but daaaaang!”

“i will literally set your hair on fire, you oversized carrot top,” yoongi gritted through clenched teeth where jimin caught a muscle twitch. (”you love my glorious orange hair, don’t lie.”)

jimin could truly say that episode had been one helluva fuckin’ ride, an experience. to be honest, yoongi seemed to be hellbent on pretending the entirety of last winter holidays had never happened, it was that embarrassing. in the end, jimin’s efforts had been in vain and yoongi snapped right the fuck out of it when he realized taehyung was not the soft, sweet cotton fluff he thought and a whole lot of nasty, panty dropping extra that could not be contained.

yoongi shot him a brief, tight lipped smile that looked more constipated than anything else.

“it’s true though,” hoseok’s mirth was clearly visible even through the shitty wifi connection. “jimin did do you a solid.”

“the sex was really good though, you gotta admit.”

“first of all, you piece of shit,” yoongi’s game controller went to join jimin’s across the coffee table. “i did not thirst after taehyung-”

“you were so thirsty your skin was flaking,” jimin smirked, shortly before he was shoved off the couch to land in a puddle at yoongi’s feet. “ow, fuck that really hurt.”

“i am the king of gang beasts!” taehyung’s shrill deep voice echoed in jimin’s ears. “all hail king tae! bow, peasants, and kiss my feet!”

“the fucking disrespect,” yoongi’s toe nudge into jimin’s side, making him jerk sideways half under the table. “it was mid winter and i have eczema you snot rag. second of all,” yoongi continued on his tirade and jimin wheezed with laughter. “what you managed to do was set everyone up for fuckin’ centuries of cringeworthy humiliation that is bound to have my descendants curling in misery.”

“you’re so dramatic,” jimin smiled fondly, rolling back out from under the table and sitting himself up. he rested his chin along his arms crossed on the edge of the sofa by yoongi’s knees. “i totally helped you get dat ass. i am the best wingman.”

“you are a fucking nightmare, is what you are,” yoongi deadpanned, ruffling jimin’s already mussed up, pitch black hair.

“i know, but please,” jimin tried again, throwing on his best sulk face and capitalizing on the best asset god bequeathed him with. his plush, pouty lips. “just this one time,” he bat his lashes, just for good measure. “how often do i ask for favors?”

“all the fuckin’ time!”

“like when do you not?”

“did i ask for your opinion?! i think the fuck not!” jimin straightened out like a snapped spring and bellowed into his headset mic. through his peripheral vision, he saw yoongi take of his own headset and slowly rub at his temples.

“why do i put up with all of you,” yoongi let out a long suffering sigh.

“because you lo-”

jimin turned off the tv, remote arm out, cutting hoseok off mid-sentence. yoongi looked at him like he might kiss him. or not. with a shrug, jimin tossed the remote on the carpet by his feet.

“back to the subject,” he licked his lips, settling against the coffee table with his knees drawn to his chest. yoongi let out another heavy sigh, but that didn’t deter jimin. “just one time please. one date,” he attempted the most forlorn look, like stepped on flowers, run over a dog’s tail, cookies got burnt disconsolate. “taemin is gonna be there.”

“how do you even know this,” yoongi sighed. again.

“with jongin.”

jimin pouted extra hard.

“who the fuck is jongin,” yoongi rubbed his temples with his middle and forefinger, as if he was warding off an oncoming migraine. which is nonsense. because jimin is the light of yoongi’s life. he could attest to this.

“who is,” jimin's face crumpled. “who the fuck. jongin!” his arms shot up into the air. “kim jongin! the third year ballet twink with the good ass thighs and facial structure crafted by the gods! dance prodigy jongin!” jimin’s voice escalated with every syllable, in speed, pitch, and volume.

“that kim jongin. the one taemin dumped me for,” jimin was now truly feeling really sad. this was not how he’d anticipated this conversation to go down.

it still hurt. three weeks had passed since the evening that shall not be spoken of. and jimin’s chest still throbbed with an empty longing at the memories of how taemin had broken up with him at their favorite mom-and-pop cafe that had been the center point of almost a year’s worth of happy memories. the sacrilege, how dare?

“i found someone else,” taemin had said.

“well good riddance! ‘cause i was gonna break up with you first!” jimin’s brain to mouth filter completely went on vacation, leaving him with utter regret and despair. but why stop there? “i found someone else too!”

the look of surprise on taemin’s face had almost been worth it.

almost.

now jimin was stuck with empty words and no boyfriend to show for it.

“please,” jimin tried again, clutching at yoongi’s artfully ripped jeans, which was saying something as they were so tight they clung to the elder’s very legs like second skin. “i just gotta prove to him that i do have somebody else and i’m not like desperate-taylor-swift-binge-eating-sobfest-heartbroken.”

“you are heartbroken,” yoongi muttered, pulling off his headset and running a hand through his soft brown hair. “there’s nothing wrong with that. the asshole literally broke your heart. i’m pretty sure that’s the definition of heartbroken.”

“just to prove i have a boyfriend,” jimin could sense victory in the soft sigh leaving yoongi’s lips.

“but you don't.”

“minor detail,” jimin waved a nonchalant hand.

“i’d say that’s a big fucking detail,” yoongi replied gruffly, rubbing his face with his open hand.

“i’ll buy you dinner,” jimin enticed, coming up to his knees and peering up into yoongi’s face.

“it better be a good fucking dinner,” yoongi sighed, finally relenting.

success.

--

“i can't believe i let you talk me into this,” yoongi shook his head, jimin chancing furtive glances over his menu to look for that familiar face.

“just,” jimin finally caught taemin and his new boyfriend at the far side of the cafe, tucked away in a discreet corner booth. “pick something to eat while i do some recon.”

“fucking ridiculous,” yoongi released a long, deep breath but picked up his own menu and began to look through the list of foods. “recon,” yoongi snorted, a crease forming in between jimin’s brows as he tried to subtly, not so subtly, crane his neck as if he could actually catch what the other two were talking about if he stretched far enough.

he didn’t even notice as the waitress stopped by to take their order, squinting as he attempted to lipread what taemin was saying to jongin.

damn, it was hard to see exactly what words were being exchanged from this angle and distance.

but what wasn't too difficult to see, even for jimin from this length of space between, was the brilliant laughter playing on taemin’s lips and the way his eyes curved into that precious moon smile that was jimin’s favorite and had always been reserved for him and him only.

the dull thud in his chest echoed like a bucket dropped all the way to the bottom of an empty well.

he watched, breath held, as taemin pulled the other’s hand and pressed butterfly kisses along every knuckle. something he used to do for jimin too.

it felt as if he’d fallen into that empty well along with the bucket.

it hurt.

like a fucking bitch, it hurt.

he really thought he could do this. but he couldn't. not when taemin looked for all the world like a man completely smitten. and the other person wasn't jimin.

a sharp kick to the shin finally jolted his attention away from the other couple, a startled whine escaping through his parted lips as a bright hot pain traveled up his leg from the point of abuse.

“what the fuck,” jimin’s expression puckered, rubbing at the sore spot on his shin that was very likely to bruise. yoongi’s brow quirked, arms crossed over his chest looking bored as hell while jimin’s world came crashing down around his feet for what was probably the thousandth time since he’d been dumped.

“you’re supposed to be having a good time,” yoongi’s face softened when jimin bit down on his lower lip that had started to quiver. he blinked repeatedly, forcing back the burn that had begun to emerge around the corners of his eyes. it was becoming somewhat hard to breathe.

“do you want me to take you home?” the elder asked gently, and jimin shook his head faintly. “then what do you want to do?” yoongi enquired, head tilted to the side.

inhaling a shaky breath, jimin willed himself to calm. “can you just,” he answered after a moment of silence. “talk. just talk. about anything, i don't care. just please,” jimin didn’t really know what he was begging for. he just needed the pain in his chest to stop.

so yoongi began talking.

he started with a teacher aide in his music comp class that none of the students liked because he was a total pompous bitch. he talked about his latest assignment that was due in a few day’s time, but he’d procrastinated up until now because who fuck care anyways? he commented on the weather, about Pokémon GO, about a new movie that had come out, about the upcoming spring break and how their mothers expected them back home because yoongi’s older brother wanted him to meet his fiancé’s family and how jimin was going to come with him or else he’d die of boredom and the younger owed him a favor after this anyway.

the words flowed freely, and jimin was content to just listen to that deep silken voice wrap him softly like a bandaid over a wound.

he listened and he ate as yoongi talked, gradually forgetting the reason that he was here in the first place and began to actually engage in the conversation.

“do i get a free meal out of it?” jimin tipped his head to the side, popping a french fry in his mouth and licking the bit of ketchup off the end of his middle finger. at that, he thought he caught a near imperceptible dip in the elder’s adam’s apple. but he waved it off as just his imagination.

“freeloader,” a hand leaned over the table to ruffle jimin’s hair before he could swing out of yoongi’s reach.

“knock it off,” jimin huffed, batting the hand away. “and no i’m not.”

“you are soft as fuck,” yoongi laughed at the excitement that lit up jimin’s face. “yes, you’re getting a free meal out of my brother so you’re ass is coming.”

“okay.”

“and you act like you never get a free meal whenever you come banging on my doorstep anyway,” yoongi said in a deadpan tone, sliding his credit card into the check folder the waitress brought over. “you know how much my mom loves you.”

“i can’t wait to play with holly,” jimin hummed with a content smile, sipping on his watered down coke zero.

--

“thanks for, you know,” jimin stared down at his feet, scuffing the point of his right shoe against the concrete. he glanced up to see yoongi shrug, hands tucked away into the pockets of his jeans while they stood outside of jimin’s dorm.

they’d done this a million and trillion times before in the past. but why did jimin feel somewhat nervous?

yoongi was as familiar to him as his own right arm, or his favorite blanket back home.

there was something different though, hanging in the crisp night air between them... something that was never there before.

“thank you for being the best fucking bro in the whole fucking world?” yoongi prompted when he’d paused for long enough, jimin snorting with amusement and retuning somewhat back to planet earth.

“yeah, that,” he conceded, fingers clasped behind his back for lack of anything better to do with them. “thank you.”

something warmed inside jimin’s chest at the soft grin that spread across yoongi’s face, eyes traveling down his side profile as the elder looked up into the starry deep sky above.

when their eyes met again, it was as if jimin hadn’t known yoongi his entire life, since toddlerhood, something foreign yet altogether completely familiar thrumming in his chest.

“’night.”

“good night,” jimin licked his suddenly dry lips. he watched as yoongi turned, breaking into a light jog as he moved back towards his car parked in the no-parking zone with the emergency lights flashing.

what the hell?

--

“i’ve been doing some thinking.”

silence.

“can i ask you something?” 

the only response jimin received was a muted grunt.

“and hear me out, okay? don’t just completely write this off,” jimin continued, staring at yoongi’s back from his current position of lying perpendicular across the elder’s bed, head hanging upside down over the edge.

yoongi didn’t even glance up from the composition project he was working on. the one he’d procrastinated on for weeks now. the one that was due within the next twenty-four hours, holy fucking shit rest in pieces.

“i think we should try kissing a go,” jimin blurted out, body tensed, as he watched for yoongi’s response.

there was the briefest of pause in his constantly moving hand, the soft pen scratches going even quieter still until it had completely stopped.

jimin held his breath, if only to not break the utter silence. the room was so thick with it, he thought he could put a knife right through it and cut a slice straight out of the air.

cricket cricket bitch.

after several minutes had passed, jimin was about to laugh it off as a joke when yoongi finally responded, “don’t be stupid,” and resumed his work once again as if jimin hadn’t said anything at all.

“but i’m being serious,” jimin rolled over onto his front, chin propped up on his clasped fingers and boring holes in the elder’s back between his shoulder blades.

yoongi finally turned, shooting jimin a long, searching look that had him squirming to the very tips of his toes.

without another word, the elder lobbed a crumbled up composition sheet that landed squarely in the center of jimin’s forehead.

“ow what the fuck?!”

--

“i cannot believe,” yoongi exhaled a sigh of resignation, glaring up at the ceiling flashing technicolor strobe lights as if it had done him some personal great injustice.

“is that jongin over there? can y’see him? i can’t tell if it’s him or not,” jimin was just this close to overbalancing and tipping over the barstool with how far he was stretching his neck to catch a glance of the familiar looking couple dancing amongst the drunken crowd.

he’d lost count of how many shots of tito’s he’d downed in the past few hours they’d been camped out at the congested bar. jimin was a man on a mission. and yoongi’s palm was warm against the small of his back, propped there to prevent his fall, made all the warmer by the inebriating flush that spread across his cheeks.

nibbling on his parched lips, jimin leaned even further out to squint at the blond haired man that looked kind of like taemin and kind of didn’t, only breaking his stare when taehyung dipped by to pass him another shot of something or other.

“drink bitch!”

“i think not,” yoongi swooped in before jimin could reach to intercept the small glass rimmed with salt.

“ooh tequila?” jimin pivoted on the stool without warning, nearly knocking the drink out of yoongi’s hand and quite suddenly placing the elder to stand in between his legs. 

“but i have limes!” taehyung’s boxy smile stretched so wide, jimin couldn’t help but grin back as he tried to grab the shot.

“i think you’ve had enough,” yoongi stretched his arm away from jimin’s circumference of reach.

“but i have limes!” taehyung repeated as if that tidbit of fact made it even more important. and quite frankly, jimin couldn't help but agree.

“give it,” he pouted, one hand grasping onto yoongi’s shoulder and the other reaching out making grabby hands at the glass.

“why you gotta cock block?” taehyung whined, having already downed his own and cramming the lime wedge into his mouth.

“no,” yoongi said in a no-nonsense tone that should've brooked no argument.

but jimin was buzzed and had no shits to give at the moment, completely forgetting that his best bro for life had promised to please, please, please play designated let’s-not-let-jimin-do-anything-utterly-stupid-whilst-in-his-intoxicated-state.

however, that was besides the point.

what was the point again?

instead, jimin opted for wrapping his legs around yoongi’s waist to bring him even closer, extending his wiggling arm to the best of its somewhat stunted abilities to reach, reach, reach...

oh.

“shit!”

“ow.”

“y’okay?”

the stool ended up tipping over, both of them landing in a puddle of confused limbs and pained grunts. but jimin’s fall had been miraculously cushioned by yoongi’s chest, the elder having fallen flat on his back against what jimin could only imagine was the disgustingly alcohol-sticky tiled floor. gross.

yoongi groaned, his voice barely audible over the pounding bass intermixed with taehyung’s loud shrieking.

“hey,” jimin rested his chin on yoongi’s chest, his already muddled brain just a tiny bit overwhelmed by the stale and bitter scent of beer that lingered on the other’s lips. “you’re kinda cute, how did i never notice before.” 

yoongi snorted, groaned, jimin couldn't tell which.

“i’m gonna kiss you,” jimin said before his consciousness could actually catch up with his brain. “y’know, not because we’re best bros or anything, but like because you’re kinda cute right now and i’m kinda drunk and i couldn't think about anything but this for the past few days since-”

“just fucking shut up,” yoongi leaned up and pressed his lips onto jimin’s. 

it tasted bitter, but it was warm and soft. and it tasted like something foreign but altogether completely familiar, like a promise of the past and present and future.

it tasted like home.

“literally you are such a piece of shit,” yoongi smiled fondly when they finally came up for air.

yup, definitely felt like home.

[whatiseeisbeautiful]

exes and ohs

19/06/19

First one was whatever. I was what? 13? He basically cheated on me but I was 13, so who cares.

Second was in grade 8 so, also, whatever. Only liked him because he played with my hair in class and gave me attention tbh. I called it off after a month and then he told his friends I cut myself and that he broke it off. Welp, good riddance. 

Third was a smart kid. Great dude. I was an asshole. Gave him unchecked attitude. I broke up with him and then sat down for lunch 4 years later. He asked me, “Would we have worked if we were older?” and that was the end of that.

Fourth was an older guy that everyone thought was annoying but I found charming. Thought I was real cool for having an older boyfriend. Talked on the phone lots. And then at some point, I started to find him annoying too. I thought I really liked him but I guess not?? He wanted to get back together.

Fifth was that guy. The bad boy with all the experiences and a mysterious personal life. Again, thought I was real slick with an older boyfriend that was “bad”. Turned out he was worse than I thought. I was 16 and damn I didn’t know anything. He showed me the world of sex without the actual sex. He was my first kiss and boy was it horrible. Ew. He was involved in illegal stuff and sheltered ol’ me was scared. He said some awful things about me to my friends and I said no more. Two years later, he tried to get together again. I blocked him.

Sixth was the one I was infatuated with. I don’t know why I was so obsessed. Met him in the summer. Didn’t ask him out till November. He wanted to hear the reasons why I liked him. We met only once a month or so. Never really texted. I never really trusted him that much. When we graduated, he left to return to his home country and I couldn’t get over him for almost 2 years.

Seventh was from an online site. Met him under the pretense that we’d date. Called me bb in just a few days. I didn’t really like his friends. He had so many mannerisms I hated. I got mad when he didn’t take me home. I think I dated him just to date. He basically emptied his wallet for me and never said anything to me. He gave me so much and all I did was take. I met another guy when I was still with him and fell in love. I tried so hard to say no to those feelings but it didn’t go away. I broke it off. He seemed to have took it well. I really was the bad guy in this relationship.

Eighth is the love of my life. The guy I fell in love with while still in a relationship. The one that literally swept me off my feet when I nearly broke my ankle. The one that gave me support in every way possible. The one I want to give everything to. He is intelligent, driven, funny, and, oh man, the sexiest man alive. 

I was selfish and an asshole. I never cared about “saving” myself for anyone because I lived for me. And I really did only live for myself and didn’t care for anyone else. Didn’t go my way? Ok bye. And I don’t regret it. Of course I feel bad, but I’m glad I went through all that because it brought me here.

So to anyone’s that’s looking for their someone, it takes time. 

[rotoa]

Chill out dude, chill the fuck out. Don't become so salty over a joke. I'm sorry if that hurted you and I totally respect what you're going trough. But that doesn't mean you have to act like a dick towards someone who cracks a joke. At least be more polite and contain your fucking anger.

This is the last bit of attention I’m giving you, so I hope you feel blessed.

You did.

You spoke against it by calling legitimate mental illnesses no big deal.

That is the worst insult you could possibly give someone who is battling mental illnesses of any sort.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a fucking “joke” to you. A joke is funny. And what you said isn’t funny. Calling anxiety and panic disorders no big deal isn’t funny.

I honestly couldn’t care less if you thought it was a joke. I’m mad because you have the gall to flaunt your insensitive nature like you’re somehow in the right? For insulting me and my suffering like it’s a joke? And getting upset when I get mad and defend myself?

As earlier stated, the reason I was even venting wasn’t even because of mental illness. It was because of loss.

And you basically called me a fucking pussy for suffering. Said it wasn’t a big fucking deal when I was personally dealing with a loss that means more to me than you could possible understand.

You were making a mockery of my suffering by trying to make a “joke” about it.

I don’t care if you thought it was a joke.

Your attitude is a fucking joke.

I am not “triggered” and the fact that you use that terminology without comprehending the weight of that word is a fucking joke. 

To put it simply, I am mad.

You don’t deserve my manners. You don’t deserve for me to be polite. You came here and disrespected me, and are continuing to do so by arguing that what you said was a fucking joke and that I’m in the wrong for getting angry.

I will not sit on my ass and let you speak to me that way. Nor will I let you speak that way about the millions of people you just fucking insulted.

You can take your “jokes” and go piss about it on someone else’s blog. Good riddance. 

[escapism-philophobiaofmine]

Good riddance

Seriously though?

Just after grabbing hold of my instagram he stopped replying me?

What nonsense is this?

“I usually reply faster on TELE/INSTA.”

In the end his frequency is still around the same.

He goes from 1 reply a day to like 2 replies a day.

What is the point?

Now he happily ghosts me and goes MIA.

No wonder he switched off his last seen… But doesn’t matter anyways…

Because on Tele, you can still see if that person has read your messages when there’s double tick and very obviously he read. 

He still HAPPILY AND ACTIVELY UPDATES HIS INSTA STORY. 

Good job bro. 

I honestly feel that it’s the most bizarre thing that has happened. Exchange insta and tele just so that he can go MIA on me? 

Just make sure that he doesn’t randomly pop back into my life after a few days. 

I had enough of his bullshit and zero effort attitude. 

I’m too naive and nice to have given him a second chance. 

Clearly he didn’t need it. 

Thanks for the bullshit “hope to lit up the nice smiley of u (it’s YOURS BTW) instead of the RBF”. 

Fell for your sweet talk. 

Deceived for the 2nd time when you said you’d reply faster on Tele. Now look who chose to ignore my messages? 

It is YOU. 

Some people’s words really don’t tally with their actions and that’s appalling. Rest assured, dude… 

I’d not put myself out there for you to play mind games with me anymore. 

I’m gone for good. 

You have my words. 

I won’t stoop so low to take the initiative to “disrupt” the peace that you deserve since you lead such a busy life anyways. 

Doesn’t pay to be vulnerable for a person like you.