#(which is stupid. give me my money back you scammers)

[noonaishere]

I just spent all day working on some manips for my fic...

You really have to admire the dedication of making these things look realistic, since there's no app or online template to make them.

Did I say "dedication"? I meant "madness".

[yoyomomiko]

[TWO] — The haunted shed

☆ `` SPECTRAL SCAMMERS ``

☆ — summary: when cartman comes up with yet another 'get rich quick' scheme, he forces his friends, and you, into starting a ghost hunting service. armed with a mix of makeshift equipment, a questionable van and no actual skills, you begin taking jobs to "exorcise" haunted houses.

warnings: strong language, cartman being cartman

(a/n): it's so short and it feels pretty bland, but I'll try to get better and make the chapters longer :(( also, it looks like there's no ghosts in this chapter! at least for now.

wc: 2.7k+

★m.list

★series m.list

<- [PREVIOUS] — [NEXT] -> (uncompleted)

The next day, you all met in Cartman's basement, which now served as your official 'Specter Squad Headquarters'. Cartman paced in front of the whiteboard, still scribbled with your chaotic business plan, a smirk glued to his face.

"Ladies and gentlemen..." He began, pausing for a dramatic effect. "We have our first job!"

Everyone exchanged uneasy glances, except for Tweek, who was already trembling.

"Who's the poor sucker?" Stan asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

Cartman waved his phone in the air proudly. "My mom's friend's neighbor. Apparently, their shed is haunted by some ghostly menace. Creepy noises, things getting knocked over, the whole paranormal package!"

Kyle frowned sitting on the edge of the couch with his arms resting on his knees. "Let me guess. You told them we'd take care of it for a ridiculous amount of money?"

"$50." Cartman replied with a smug look on his face.

"Fifty bucks for a shed?!" Kyle repeated, eyes wide.

"Hey, ghost insurance isn't cheap." Cartman shot back. "Do you even know how much ectoplasm containment costs? Exactly. I'm giving them a good deal."

You snorted, leaning back on the couch. "More like you're scamming them. What's next, charging a consultation fee?"

"That's not a bad idea..." Cartman muttered, trailing off as he mentally added it to his list.

Stan sighed. "Alright, so what's the plan? Just show up, wave a flashlight around and hope no one notices we're full of crap?"

"Uh, no, Stan." Cartman replied, rolling his eyes. "We need equipment. Real ghost hunting tools! If we show up empty handed, we'll look like amateurs."

"We are amateurs." Craig pointed out, but Cartman ignored him.

...

Within minutes, you all had rummaged through the basement for anything that could count as equipment. Flashlights were passed around, most of them barely functioning, as Cartman dragged a vacuum cleaner from a corner.

"This." He started, holding it up. "Is our spirit vacuum. It sucks up ghosts and traps them inside."

"That's literally just a vacuum." You stared at Cartman, crossing your arms.

"Not anymore." Cartman declared with a smirk, sticking a few glow in the dark star stickers on its side. "Now it's paranormal tech. You're welcome!"

"This is so stupid." Kyle groaned, running a hand down his face.

"You're stupid!" Cartman snapped. "But guess what? The customers don't care. They just want results. And results are exactly what we're gonna give them. Fake or not!"

You grabbed one of the flashlights, testing it's weak glow before glancing at Kyle. "You think this thing's gonna last the night?"

"Not a chance." Kyle shook his head, the corners of his lips tugging upwards, forming a faint smile.

His gaze was fixed on you for a moment longer than necessary as you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Alright, lovebirds!" Cartman interrupted, snapping his fingers in your direction. "Save the awkward flirting for later. We've got ghosts to catch!"

"We weren't-" You quickly spoke up, but Cartman was already moving on.

.

.

.

The group assembled just outside the neighbor's picked fence. Cartman stood at the front with his back straightened and a clipboard in hand.

"Alright, listen up." He began, his voice hushed. "This is our first gig, so we're going to nail it. No screw ups, no whining, and definitely no blowing our cover."

"Cover? You mean the fact that we're not actual ghost hunters?" Stan raised an eyebrow.

Cartman glared at him. "Exactly. So shut up and follow my lead." He turned back to face the house, his face lighting up with smug confidence.

You all exchanged glances but followed him up the driveway anyway. You stayed close to Kyle, who was mumbling under his breath.

"This is going to be a disaster." He muttered, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"Probably." You agreed, giving him a small smile. "At least it'll be entertaining, right?"

"You have a weird definition of 'entertaining'." Kyle glanced at you, the corners of his lips tugging upwards.

Before you could respond, Cartman knocked loudly on the front door. A moment later, it creaked open to reveal a middle aged woman with dark circles under her eyes.

"Thank goodness you're here!" She exclaimed. "It's been awful! Just awful!"

"Ma'am, you made the right choice calling the Specter Squad. We're South Park's best paranormal investigators, and we're here to solve your ghost problem." Cartman faked a professional tone, which wasn't really convincing.

"Oh, I just don't know what's in that shed. Every night, I hear the strangest noises... Scratching, banging, sometimes even growling... It's terrifying!"

"Sounds like raccoons..." Kyle muttered under his breath.

Cartman elbowed him sharply, giving the woman a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, ma'am. We've dealt with worse. Now let's talk about payment..."

"Payment?" The woman blinked, caught off guard as her brows raised in surprise.

"Of course! Ghost hunting isn't cheap, you know. We've got specialized equipment, years of experience-"

"Years?" Clyde interrupted, but Cartman ignored him.

"And we offer a guarantee of satisfaction. For a case like this, we'll charge a base fee of $50."

"Alright... Fifty... But only if you can get rid of whatever's out there." She hesitated, looking towards each of you in the group.

"Deal!" Cartman exclaimed, sticking out his hand. She shook it hesitantly before leading the group around the side of the house and into the backyard.

.

.

The shed came into view, at the far end of the yard. It was old, its wooden walls splintered, with rusted hinges hanging off the door.

Cartman took a deep breath, clipboard clutched to his chest. "Alright, this is it. Stan, [Y/N], you investigate the area. Kyle, you're with me. Clyde and Kenny, guard the door. Craig, Tweek- uh... Just stand there and look useful."

"This is a bad i-idea! What if it's not a ghost?! What if it's like, a demon or something?!" Tweek panicked, fidgeting nervously.

"It's not a demon." Craig replied flatly, but even he looked a bit uneasy.

You and Stan both glanced at each other as you both began walking around the shed, flashlights in hand.

"So... What do you think we're actually dealing with here?" You asked as you waved your flashlight around.

"Probably racoons." Stan answered with a shrug. "But knowing Cartman, he'll find a way to make it sound like a ghost."

"That sounds about right." You smiled softly.

On the other side, Cartman was crouched, pretending to examine the ground. Kyle stood nearby, arms crossed as he had a tired expression on his face.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Kyle asked as he sighed loudly.

"Ectoplasmic traces." Cartman replied, nodding to himself.

"You don't even know what that means." Kyle ran a hand over his face, sighing for the nth time that day.

"Shut up Jew! I know what I'm doing."

Kyle rolled his eyes but gazed at you when your flashlight beam caught something shining in the grass.

"What's that?" He asked, walking over to join you.

You bent down and picked up the small, glinting object. A broken piece of metal that looked like it had come from the shed's roof.

"Probably nothing." You responded as you held it up for him to see.

He leaned closer, his face inches away from yours.

"Still, good eye."

You felt heat rushing up to your cheeks, but before you could say something, Cartman's voice cut through your sweet moment.

"Alright, idiots! Enough playing around. Let's get inside and find this ghost!"

...

The shed's door creaked loudly as you pushed it open, earning a whimper from Tweek. Your flashlight glow cut through the dark, revealing cobweb, scattered tools and a floor with littered leaves. You quickly turned off your flashlight as you looked away from the sight.

"Alright assholes, try not to screw up." Cartman declared, clipboard in hand as he gestured towards the shed.

"We have to act professional!" He whisper yelled, eyes narrowing.

"How professional can we look with a broken vacuum and dollar store flashlights?" Craig muttered, but his words were drowned by Cartman's loud, fake cough.

"Why do I feel like this is going to be a disaster?" Clyde mumbled, rubbing his arms for warmth.

"It's always a disaster when Cartman's in charge." Kyle replied in a dry tone.

You smirked, catching the way Kyle's gaze studied the shed. He glanced at you, his eyes softening, though only for a moment, the tension in the air didn't feel so heavy.

"Are we doing this or not?" Craig asked impatiently as he crossed his arms.

"Yes, Craig, we're doing this. But first, we need to assert dominance!" Cartman sighed out in an exaggerated way.

"Dominance?" You repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"I like how that sounds." Kenny snickered, and so did Clyde as he nudged Kenny's shoulder.

"You don't just walk into a ghost's lair! You have to show it who's boss!" Cartman pointed at the shed dramatically.

"We're ghost hunters, not wrestlers." Stan stated as Craig chuckled.

Ignoring him, Cartman turned to the neighbor, who was watching nervously from her back porch.

"Ma'am, we're going in. We've got this under control." Cartman spoke up confidently.

"Please... Just be careful." The woman clutched her cardigan tightly as she nodded. "It's been making horrible noise lately."

"No worries, we'll take care of it. By the way, there's a $10 fee for ghost insurance in case it tries to follow us home."

"Ghost insurance?" Kyle repeated, squinting his eyes at Cartman.

"Do you want to get haunted, Kyle? Didn't think so." Cartman shot him a glare.

...

The group gathered their supplies, which were only some barely working flashlights, an old vacuum cleaner Cartman had given the title of 'Spirit Sucker 3000', and a few random tools from Clyde's garage.

"I still don't understand how this is supposed to work..." Tweek muttered, holding his flashlight like it might explode.

"It works because I said it works." Cartman replied, adjusting the vacuum strap on his shoulder.

You rolled your eyes and turned on your flashlight again. The shed wasn't particularly big, but the barely standing wood made it seem more sinister. Plus the cobwebs, creepy old tools and leaves left on the floor.

"Let's just get this over with." Craig sighed as he stepped up to the door.

"Hold up! The leader goes first!" Cartman held up a hand to stop him.

"You're not the leader." Kyle shot back.

"Yes, I am!" Cartman snapped. "I made the website, I set up the payment system, and I'm the only one here who isn't a total pussy!"

"Fine. Go ahead, fearless leader." Craig mocked.

Cartman smirked as he confidently pushed the door further and stepped inside.

...

The air inside was heavy and barely breatheable, carrying the scent of mold and rotting wood. Your flashlight flickered as you swept it across the space, revealing shelves packed with rusted tools and boxes stacked carelessly.

"Wow..." Kenny's eyes scanned the area. "This place is charming."

"Spread out, assholes! We're looking for signs of paranormal activity!" Cartman waved his clipboard dramatically.

"What exactly counts as a sign?" Stan asked as he stares at a random jar with unidentifiable substances.

"Anything spooky." Cartman answered simply. "Weird sounds, cold spots, glowing slime... You know, ghost stuff."

"You're making this up as you go, aren't you?" Kyle groaned.

"Shut up, Kyle! Do your job!" Cartman yelled.

You held back a laugh as Kyle mumbled something under his breath. When he caught your eye, his gaze softened, giving you a small smile that made your heart pound in your chest.

...

You all explored different corners of the shed, examining and looking out for 'spooky stuff'.

You crouched near a stack of boxes, brushing away cobwebs to get a closer look. The wood beneath your fingers felt slightly wet and splintered. You noticed a faint light coming from above.

"Hey..." You called out, shining your flashlight towards the roof, standing up. "There's a hole up here."

Kyle joined you, squinting up at the opening. "That could explain the noises. If wind's getting in, it might make the walls creak."

"Or it could be the ghost's escape route." Cartman interrupted, scribbling something on his clipboard.

"Pretty sure ghosts don't need escape routes." You sighed.

Cartman ignored you, turning his attention to a nearby workbench.

Kyle stood by your side, tilting his head thoughtfully as he examined the roof. "Good catch." He praised, his voice quieter now.

"Thanks." You replied, smiling to yourself like an idiot as you felt your cheeks warm up.

All of the sudden, a loud crash echoed from the back of the shed.

"What was that?!" Tweek yelped, clutching his flashlight like a weapon.

"Relax." Kenny spoke up, moving towards the source of the noise. "It's probably just-"

His words cut off as he stumbled upon a crate.

Kenny crouched down, shining his flashlight on the wooden box. It was old and had a loose lid that looked like it hadn't been touched in years.

"What do you think's in it?" Clyde asked, creeping over Stan's shoulder.

"Only one way to find out." Kenny replied, slowly taking the lid off.

Inside was a trio of small and furry bodies. Wide eyes reflected the flashlight glow as tiny claws scratched against the wood.

"Aww, raccoons!" Kenny cooed as he pouted. "They're adorable!"

"They're so cute!" You purred as you admired them. They were so small and it could fit perfectly in your palm!

"I wanna pet them." Kenny said as he reached out to pick one up.

The once cuddly creatures now hissed loudly, lounging at him with surprising speed.

Kenny screeched, stumbling backwards as the raccoon latched onto his sleeve.

The other two raccoons bolted from the crate, darting across the shed.

"Jesus Christ!" Stan yelled, jumping out of the way.

"Get it off! Get it off me!" Kenny screamed, waving his arm around crazily as the raccoon kept clinging onto his sleeve.

"Stop moving!" You shouted, grabbing a broom and trying to swat the raccoon away. It hissed at you, revealing its sharp teeth.

Another raccoon climbed onto a shelf, knocking over jars and sending their contents crashing to the floor. Tweek jumped onto a crate to avoid the mess, grabbing at his hair.

"Where are they coming from?!" Cartman swung his flashlight around wildly.

"They're everywhere!" Craig noted, dodging another raccoon as it ran past him.

"We need to get them out of here!" Kyle tried to block one of the raccoons' paths.

"And how do you suggest we do that?" Stan yelled, ducking as another jar flew above his head.

"Loud noises!" Cartman quickly grabbed a rusty pot from a workbench. "Scare them out!"

You didn't have a better idea, so you grabbed a pan and started banging it against the broom handle. The others quickly followed, grabbing tools and smashing them into anything, clangs echoing through the shed.

Tweek kept flinching at the loud noise, but he also followed and helped the rest.

The raccoons screeched in protest, before finally rushing out the hole in the roof.

"Victory!" Cartman shouted proudly, slamming his pot.

You lowered your makeshift drumstick, panting from the effort. Kyle was standing beside you, his face flushed.

"Nice work." He nudged your shoulder lightly.

"Not bad yourself..." You replied, smiling despite what just happened.

.

.

You all stumbled out of the shed, disheveled but successful. The neighbor was waiting in the yard, fidgeting nervously.

"Well? Did you get rid of it?" She asked, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Cartman puffed out his chest, clipboard in hand. "It was a tough case." He started dramatically. "But yes, the ghost has been banished. You're welcome."

"Oh, thank you!" She exclaimed, reaching out for her wallet.

"Now, about the payment..." Cartman stopped her, holding up a finger. "It was an agressive spirit, so we're charging an extra $10 for chaos pay."

The woman hesitated but handed over the cash either way.

As you all walked away, Cartman grinned joyfully, stuffing the money into his pocket.

"First job: complete. We're officially ghost hunters, bitches!"

★yoyomiko ★miko

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Your photos are genuinely beautiful and show such amazing detail. Please just block and report these people sending those scam asks. Tbh, there is ones who sound completely convincing. My friend who lives in England and takes nature photos of the surrounding countryside, was contacted by someone who then conned them out of £250 using the exact same scam. The person seemed credible as their blog was a personal art and photography blog which had been in use for a long time, with a seemingly solid audience interacting with their work. We don't really know if it's an elaborate trap set up or the person was a genuine artist whose been enlisted to help con people for a fee. My friend is now locked in a war with her bank etc to get her money back. I don't know if there is measures you can take to report it and get your money back too. Genuinely if people want to donate money to you for your work then just keep it to Kofi because the scams are getting more complex and convincing. From now on don't give out your bank details or anything. If they're genuine just let them donate to Kofi and rigorously stick to that routine. I'm just so sorry this happened to you too 🫂

Thank you. Both for both saying you like my photos and the sympathy over what happened.

You are right about how convincing these cons can seem. In this case they even (apparently) used AI to create a believable WIP for the piece of art they were supposed to be creating. The blog was established and had realistic personal posts. When I realized I was probably being scammed I searched for the source of the art they had supposedly made, and discovered they had stolen it from Facebook (specifically a grandmother!) It looked completely real unless you dug.

If my brain hadn’t been so frazzled from life battering me I would have had the sense to check things out carefully. Also, normally I absolutely would NOT have sent money to them via PayPal. But my brain has been less than fully functional lately.

I NEVER give out my bank account info or anything I think is sensitive, but that wasn’t going to help in this case. They weren’t pick pockets reaching into my jacket but con artists tricking me into handing it over.

Yes, I feel stupid and embarrassed. Yes, the lost $100 has already changed what I can and can’t buy. But I am posting about it to warn folks.

See, the scam, for all the flourishes to make it believable, simply depends on the sucker (me) not knowing that when money is deposited into a bank account, it really isn’t “there” yet. Oh sure, it says it is there. The bank says you can spend it. And the first time I called the bank about it, they even said it was fine. BUT it turns out fake checks aren’t necessarily uncovered instantly, despite what you would expect in our high tech world. Days. Weeks. You can’t be sure, and when it bounces you, the victim, are the one on the hook because you are the only one there.

The scammer convinces you they are cutting you in on a share of the money from a painting based in your photo. They are very convincing, take their time, and show you the work in progress. Then, oops, the client accidentally sent all the money to you so could you please PayPal them their share. So a couple days you send it and….

Now I got lucky. Technical difficulties kept me from sending more than $100. And the delay gave me time to talk to someone. And talking gave me a chance to look at things again.

Of course, I called the bank. While the first time they dismissed my concerns, the next morning I got someone that took it seriously and made a proper report about it.

Basically, at this point, it looks like it is done from my end. The reporting is done. The phantom money has been removed form my account. I can’t do anything about the money I sent (and yes, I investigated it too), but no more money seems to be in danger and the bank doesn’t seem to be penalizing me (maybe because I reported it so quickly, rather than finding out when the check went poof?) I can’t really do more than I have done, except to warn others to take care.

And, yeah, from now on I will stick to just hoping for a bit of Ko-fi love now and then. (Maybe my Amazon wishlist too?)

Oh, and if any legit artist wants to us my photos for something, you send my the money vis Ko-fi and just tell me it’s thanks for being the source of inspiration. It would be much appreciated and an ethical choice, while not triggering my enemy alert system.

[kyogre-blue]

Finally started Kaveh’s hangout (finally, seriously) and completed one of the three main branches.

This was the one about working with his suspicious but ultimately idealistic client to build a library out in Aaru Village.

Overall, not much to say about this one. It’s mid personified, not terrible, not great, just a thing that exists now.

The only real commentary I have is regarding how hilariously off the fic portrayals of Kaveh are, compared to how he actually turns out to be. He basically tells his client to fuck off once there’s too many revisions requested and too many dumb layman comments. He’s hilariously focused on maintaining a good and nice image when telling off clients, but not really concerned about the telling off itself. He’s indeed kind of gullible and stupid about things, but he’s not unaware of scammers and such. He just doesn’t think things through. He’s also, interestingly, very aware of his own (past, potentially?) guilt issues and talks about them very directly and calmly. He even pays his own and your bill at the tavern. 

Anyway, some screenshots:

I just like this one.

Kaveh bitching about Alhaitham. It’s a very interesting question how accurate is Kaveh’s perspective on Alhaitham, since he often says things that seem to be quite different from what we see, like saying Alhaitham has a temper. Where did he get that idea? 

But on the other hand, Kaveh’s first thought after getting back post archon quest is to accuse Alhaitham of trying to seize power in the Akademiya which... is so far off from Alhaitham’s actual personality that it makes Kaveh look outright delusional. 

Kaveh isn’t actually cheap to work with, and he only takes high-end projects on the whole. He outright tells a client when he feels they’re being ridiculous about hiring someone of his caliber. 

This is part of a mention toward what is art and what is artistic vision, which doesn’t really go further in this particular branch. 

However, I have to say, like so much of Genshin writing, this particular section has a bizarre swerve into “is it inspiration from the gods.” Like, bro, why did that suddenly come in. 

Also, this section read like the writers bitching about getting their glorious vision meddled with, and it made me roll my eyes. 

Similar to Heizou’s hangout, this one gives more follow up to the internal tensions of the nation that couldn’t be addressed in the archon quest. And the solution is the same: the correct and rightful archon is in charge now, so everything is going swimmingly. 

But I do admit they at least tried to bring up some points about how it’s not a simple process (though more as an excuse for why this story can even happen). 

I wonder if this is the story of what Kaveh got up to during the archon quest? It’s pretty dumb: He noticed a guy whose house looked like it was going to collapse, so he offered to help build a new one. The guy said he had no money, so Kaveh lent him some. The guy gambled it all away... and Kaveh lent him some two more times. And in the end, the guy tried to have mercenaries kill Kaveh in his own house. 

I don’t even know what to say. 

This is a minor point, but I am eternally disappointed how everyone in modern day Genshin can’t do anything except graverob when they need to build a cool thing. 

All of you are losers who are unworthy of the truly great creators of the distant past. Make your own dang mechanical cores??

The entire section of one of the endings just reads like that joke about getting a good grade in therapy. 

For someone who completely flipped out at Alhaitham for just mentioning his guilt issues, Kaveh is awfully calm discussing them in detail with a near stranger. He just goes on for like a dozen dialogue boxes analyzing himself and it’s like... I’d prefer if we had a bit more showing, you know? Something actually happening? That would be nice. 

On the whole, I guess I would characterize this writing as being kind of amateur? The writer is aware of like, characterization, and tries to weave it into the dialogue, but their attempts at being casual about it just come across as contrived and a bit weird. 

[vamptastic]

Btw to be totally clear when I'm talking about people making fake Palestinians donation scams i don't think anybody in gaza is running these (obviously). But because Gazans have to go through a middleman to access funds there is ample opportunity there for scammers since someone from another country can easily pretend to be fundraising for someone in Gaza and then just take the money. The family they're supposedly helping may even actually be real and working with them and just not know the middleman is not going to send the money back to them. There's been specific scammers from other countries exposed by Palestinians who talked to them and then had them fundraise and take the money. And iirc here on Tumblr a couple IP addresses have been found running like 10+ blogs at a time asking for donations for 10+ different (made up) Gazans from the same IP, which is almost certainly someone running a botnet. It really sucks because the very real method Palestinians need to use to receive direct charity are also cybersecurity nightmares. But creating a culture where exercising any amount of healthy suspicion towards a fundamentally risky donation method is considered morally horrible is to put it frankly, stupid. Donating your money to a scammer does not make you a good person, it does not put any good into the world, it is just wasting money that could've gone towards helping people.

My dad works in this field and I've asked him about this because it seemed to me there were a lot of points at which someone could just lie and take money intended to go to someone else. His advice was to at least do reverse image search, and try to directly reach out to whoever you are trying to give money to, or stick to donating to people you or a trusted friend have been in contact with. This is a good rule to follow for disaster relief for hurricanes as well although disaster relief agencies are also a good option. And of course there are always organizations like Doctors Without Borders and Operation Olive Tree, because of the military situation charity orgs do have difficulty delivering aid but I believe those two specifically have had an easier time getting aid in than for example the Red Cross.

I know there's verification blogs but honestly I don't know what their process is, I've tried to find it on the main ones and they don't make that information available. I think most of them just message the people being donated and unfortunately that can be faked and those people can also potentially be hacked. I would try to do a bit of the legwork yourself just to be safe, I appreciate the work vetters do but one can only so much and they seem to take on a very high volume of fundraisers which may lead to mistakes.

To be clear, these donation funds are to help people get directly out of Gaza, and they do so by using a single company in Egypt that gets them a visa by basically saying they are tourists. This company is 100% extorting Gazans and making them pay ridiculous rates. Obviously in the short term when someone is literally going to be bombed using this method to escape can help people. But you know, ultimately this is on Egypt and Jordan for refusing to take Palestinian refugees despite purportedly supporting Palestine. And the solution is for the bombing to end and for countries worldwide to stop refusing to actually take in Palestinians while paying lip service to them. In basically any situation like this direct monetary aid is genuinely very helpful to people but the longterm goal should always be to remove the issue they are spending money on in the first place.

[nityarawal]

Please press charges for $10b at PNC Bank for continually allowing Manager Jerry Sue Haney and staff to discriminate against clients in Idyllwild community on federal, as well as realtor/atty broker bribes to slumlord civilians out of homes and assets/kids with kickbacks for courts/insurance on smear campaign. 

We don't expect federal government to slander us in a bank, nor insurance, cellular or dmv selling data, our bodies & families. This has been a gross war.

Alisa said she filed dispute for my guitar online purchase on 11/22/22 at pnc bank that was fraud last week for $75- attached below.

Luckily I sent a note here because it's still showing pending dispute on 11/28!

She promised 1/2 refund that day! She just bought a new bed! Was that with bribe money? I was going to shop for a black friday sale bed! My back hurts on airbed! Our country sucks! They steal from us and don't even give a Pittance for bed than cellular and banks capitalise on bribes with federal rapists? Beyond gross!

Alisa lied and failed to file dispute twice according to statement & recorded lines for $100 atm deposit when pnc machine broke and also for $74.12 on guitar internet feaud. Do you even penalise websites doung this???

Benjamin promised to change address for 10th time on 11/22/22. I went back to show him it hadn't updated and he refused to give me a November statement to show proof! It still hasn't updated to po box 3662 as of yesterday- see below. Having same issues with insurance, dmv and many other scammers!

Why didn't either of them tell me you canceled debit card? I had to tell them! They Know tmobile doesn't work here!

i went to Dessert pnc  bank to get these receipts for you and Nov statement since Benjamin lied and said he couldnt provide it. Also to prove Alisa never filed promised disputes, nor did Benjamin change my address. Please address this time wasting of clients resources and business!

They all want Jerry Sue Ryan penalised for bank fraud, yet are either stoned stupid high on dope and shouldnt be working there; or have learned her bad habits and are still comitting fraud! This needs to be addressed!

They all promised to let me know when debit card is coming and none of them will answer straight forward question. Banker last night said it could be 10 business days! PNC said 3 days in executive email! 

I should have a damn notification of when it's coming and not have to spend $30 on gas to field lies and abuse daily in your federally corrupt banks! I don't want your digital banking anymore- you have too many liars committing fraud in local branches! They don't send timely receipts and now I'm blocked from ap as well as stranded with no debit card! 

I still need refunds from airbnb for all of my payments since 9/1. Also colony hotel atrached below! You didn't credit for $260 charge or previous ones!

You read statement, since staff is stingy providing us rightful evidence of their fraud & full disclosure laws. We still need transcripts of all calls. I'm a realtor of 29 years assisting legal team since you all have ethics, racists & integrity issues in your corporations.  

Obviously I now need to switch banks! There is several recorded attempts of fraud in one month. 

I even asked you publically on twitter to correct address. 

Your employees have a hidden agenda that is not appropriate to needs for civilians in federal banking. Please collect maximim insurance from BBofA too, Wells Fargo, Fidelity, Amex, Lexus, Verizon, Tmobile & federal officers blackballing civilians from cellular in Riverside courts- murder capital of California -due to in-house domestic terrorism proved on many recorded lines and in writing by Idyllwild employees fraud. 

FOR TENTH TIME MY ADDRESS IS PO BOX 3662 IDYLLWILD, CA 92549

BUT I SHARE PO BOX 1223 with my uncle Eric Berg who also banks with you and we share tmobile account- which he pays and I reimburse for.

We need $2000 in damages from Tmobile for wrongful charges in covid hospitalization rapes plus $10b in damages for selling my data to federal rapists for years and no connection in most of Riverside Mountains! 

Same for Verizon! They sold my phone, home & body to Nazi 911 militia rather than provide tgeir free Obama phone in covid to get groceries from mountainaid.net in winter! I need verizon iphone returned plus $10b for medical abuse with IEHP/blueshield insurance on obamas care court rapes & drugs for divorce detention! Smears are lies and I refuse all Gag orders. 

Get $10b for every officer that touched mine or kids privates & hit me or interrogated me with racism. This is an ethics issue as much as a capitalistic issue. We need this money for mothers private banking, cellular, insurance, homes & cars going forward. Boys club violated rights to do business with us through pedophile scammers at court.

 I need phone back that cops stole and $10b for damages.

Charge apple for iPhone data exploitation, all my aps, Including Rewind and @google for selling my data to x team and failing to allow me to purchase storage. Google & Facebook sold our data to Ignorant murdering lying thieving officers. We need all returned from porn Pedophile junkies now.

Tesla phone should be here soon on Starlink. When?

$10b to be paid by Obama Healthcare & Blue Shield foe selling my data and body to courts. 

Is there an honest financial institution or cellular/insurance plan you trust?

Charge Triple-a $10b for selling data to violent gay officers.

Charge California Ass of Realtors & Nardo $10b each for selling homes to courts.

Charge all of them in those smear campaign. I want all these federally back institutions by nazis charged and backed by private funding going forward. 

Steven Lee- Master Chef & I; "My girl Frida"- -from Idyology also need workman's Comps and home/ restaurant donated from Carmel Benson for community soup kitchen. She Took bribes to bully us with her toy boy gay cops! Daniel Godsnick & Sheriff Jeremy Parsons/Chad Bianco Pathologist liar!

I need all money paid from Leslie Wiedner estate on Tollgate & Emily Pearson's listings; paid for rents in 2019-2021 at 54399 Valleyview and Michael Villanueva's home on Countryclub (murder next door!) and Dennis Campbell Sketchleys thefts with militia refunded. Leslie, Emily and her husband were murdered and iehp therapists Tima Ivanova, Andrea and Tisha Thompson complicity involved in hiding abuse and rightful pathology reports. 

Leslie & I were scammed by her daughter Tina Molina. I need all my things returned. Emily appears to be murdered by her boss Shane Stewart of Idyllwild Realty so you can bully over 400 tenants violently out of homes into thus Nazi Communism! It's disgusting sex slavery to sell moms to officers. He's gay and hates mothers along with most of his militia and bribed police/Sheriff/DA/judges! 

I also need 10b in reperations from Broker Brian Yiu slumlording me from my home on hygeia with a 20% rental increase in 2017 to $3,000 and visits from x"s violent officers there- Mark Milton- who eventually hospitalised me in ICU with beating right after move to mediator Abi Odams in Del Mar.

Batbara Bradford farm needs to refind for abuse from her fanily, dinate springbox and 10m in damages to moms charity. Many lawyers & DA are on here as well as Elon Musk. You all know your role to settle now and avert danger for other families. We did alot of work to #FreeBritney - now Iran and my kids deserve justice. You shoild all be ashamed of your employees and colleagues in pedophile war against moms. Every public defender judge abd cop are epstein in courts field of family law psychology. Its tragic, upsetting and needs to be cleaned up now!

Gratzia!

Nitya Huntley Rawal 

You want to @tiktok_us about @PNCBank_Help @tmobile abuse? Everyone in town says you mess up finances constantly, then gaslight them on phone.

We need more reputable cells/ banks in Idyllwild.

@iehp Failed audits too!

Cal fresh/Obama phone playing address game too! @POTUS  @VP

Government says put "Secretary of State" home unlisted to deal w/ domestic terrorism; SSI & Obama Care insurance is last resort when bullied out of assets- yet they steal data too- requiring proof of address for Obama phone- which means Feds rape & harass community @VP

& Banks! 

Idyllwild/ Mountain Center communities feel discriminated against by cellular companies. @tmobile doesn't work!

Obama phone won't distribute phones to PO box owners!

We don't want to be raped again by��@verizon federal colleagues at 911 so have #SOS unlisted homes! @elonmusk @VP

Obama Phone sellers & Idyllwild/ Mountain Center communities feel discriminated against by cellular companies.

They won't distribute phones to PO box owners!

We don't want to be raped again out of @verizon by federal colleagues at 911!

There are certain men classy women don't fraternise with.

Our officers are incorrigible rapists & shouldn't be deployed around women or children.

Walk other way if you see officers. Do not go to court.

They will rape you & your kids in civil war.

DA @VP needs to warn.

She knows. 

Mammas- please do not go to #Obama free phone lots after dark. @verizon discriminates against divorcees they've raped & stolen data/slumlorded previously & won't honor leases or proof-of-bills paid on Bank statements.

Worse-they tag w/ excon drug dealers on fentanyl to rob & spy!

Smear campaign is what @TulsiGabbard aptly calls it. @britneyspears

#WeHeardYou #Nitya4Eternity #LivingFree #HalfPersianLivesMatter #HPLM #FreeIran #PrinceOfPegging #IranianWomenLivesMatter #Nitya4Anjali #Nitya4Nature #Nitya4Kyan #Nitya4Kings #KingsTaster #Qajars #Nitya4Moezzis

We don't understand why social services doesn't light up parking lots in winter were hustling to decline @verizon free Obama cellular phones!

They won't take PO Boxes; discriminate against Idyllwild & most rural communities!

@tmobile tablet scam for $20 but w/ towers! @elonmusk

FOR TENTH TIME MY ADDRESS IS PO BOX 3662 IDYLLWILD, CA 92549

BUT I SHARE PO BOX 1223 with

Uncle & our dear post office was kind to forward over 50 pieces since you started gaslightkng me about new PO last spring! @iehp uses same Warfare with Feds against divorcees to blackball.

This is classic court gaslighting!

PNC refuses to change address! 6 mo of let's chat!

I went to PNC bank-applied for $200 cash - they didn't give receipt nor email as promised-with digital bank fraud on data breakdown. Then got robbed at @verizon Obama dark alley scam.

Tag-team?

[brehaaorgana]

I gotta stress once again:

1. her bank literally handed her a document detailing fraud and scam warning signs to look out for and WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED, and she READ THIS PAPER WHEN GETTING $50,000 IN CASH, and said it "DID give me pause," and then she promptly IGNORED THE ADVICE FOR IDENTIFYING IF YOU ARE ACTIVELY BEING SCAMMED. She said this! To the New York times in follow up! Her advice specific article for the cut also nowhere recommended that the "how to identify is someone is trying to scam you" paper her bank gave her was important. She didn't actually reinforce the importance of the tools that existed to help her prevent this, the people whose job it is to intervene if she even suspects she MIGHT be being scammed, she just made it seem like she had no autonomy or choices whatsoever aside from googling. That doesn't help people.

She didn't say "my bank tried to inform me of the warning signs and even gave me information that outlined exactly what my scammers were doing, and if that happens to you, TELL THE BANK AND ASK FOR HELP."

Her reasoning btw was not "I was so embarrassed I was possibly being scammed so I read the warnings and decided to definitely ensure I was being scammed rather than admit someone might be trying to steal my money."

It was "well the very nice CIA agent just told me to withdraw $50,000 while I kept him on speakerphone in my pocket while at my bank, but he wasn't asking me to actually give him any of my money right then, so clearly none of that fraud stuff applied, so I decided to ignore it."

My issue is not that she dared fall for a scam.

My issue is that she decided to ignore her financial institution's advice on how to avoid being scammed or determine if you are being scammed and then didn't talk about that as the thing that would've prevented her loss of $50,000.

And then my other issue is she's being given money to write about financial advice, when she has made it clear she doesn't have rudimentary financial education, she also isn't the person in her household who even manages the finances, and she is extremely financially privileged in ways that have led to some huge blindspots on top of all that. Anyone can be a scam victim, but certain things shouldn't have worked as part of this specific scam for someone who should be knowledgeable enough to give out financial advice. Basic, basic facts she should know to be qualified to do her job.

2. She also had her credit cards stolen in 2012 and had to report the fraud back then, and in that The Cut essay she wrote about being "generally bad at managing finances" which.....this doesn't mean she is a stupid person in general, but should mean she doesn't get paid to write a financial advice column for other people.

I appreciate peoples grandma's are smart ladies and embarrassed they downloaded malware or whatever else and anyone can be scammed and it sucks. But also those people's grandma's aren't being paid real money to regularly write a financial advice column in one of the nation's largest and most well known magazines.

I gotta draw a line somewhere. The guy who says he's bad at managing his health and then writes an expose on how he got hospitalized for drinking some snake oil scam because they leveraged his ignorance of basic medical facts and policies to dupe him shouldn't be the person writing a medical advice column.

We actually shouldn't be lauding harmful and willful ignorance of wealthy privileged people giving advice on shit they don't know anything about just because they admitted to a mistake in the most condescending way possible and that's relatable.

Clueless rich people giving shitty advice is bad, actually.

really important financial advice: if a bank employee hands you a printout on scam and fraud tactics because you made a big withdrawal from your savings suddenly then you should maybe consider listening to your bank and question if you're being scammed by someone

related observation: idk maybe if your bank says "make sure this isn't fraud you're being pressured into!! Here's what to look out for!!!" And you go "hm. well that's not important," and then go right ahead to hand over $50,000 in a shoebox to someone you were told is an undercover CIA agent

—then maybe you shouldn't be considered qualified to write a financial advice column.

[pompadourpink]

bonjour mom this might be a stupid question but i'm super interested in environmental protection and i'm trying to go vegan and buy less and all that jazz but everything is super expensive if it's local or it's okay but they have to fly it here etc and i understand your idea of only getting quality stuff but like i don't know yet what i like so i don't want to splurge (not that i could anyway) and i want to avoid amazon but it's super practical and at least it's for sure not a scam and i WILL get my package etc, and sometimes i do like a bit of dairy or i'll have birthday cake but i feel super guilty about it and i'm getting super anxious, do you have any advice??

Hello dear (and oh boy, this is going to be another wall of text),

I've been there. I went vegetarian with the hopes of becoming vegan back in 2012, went super minimalist, started to buy way less, switched to bulk and organic, got a menstrual cup, felt like I had to donate money I didn't have because others needed it more than me and felt awful every time I binned something thinking I actually didn't need that thing and that was a selfish decision, and it was so hard to see other people around me not caring about these things. It was eating me alive and making me bitter and sadder than a bag of rocks. It's a real thing called eco-anxiety and it's well-documented at this point so you can look it up.

In my case, researching capitalism and going to therapy were the key. Because little old me being vegan not only wasn't sustainable because I had personal issues with food and ADHD and it made it worse, but at the end of the day it's not going to be enough to annihilate centuries of specism and make the industry change its mind; just like little old me feeling guilty about buying ice cream because I was going to have to throw away the pot is the most insignificant thing in the world when you look at what Nestlé or cruise boats are doing to the planet.

Whatever you do, you will have to sacrifice something and it will never be enough - you've already noticed it. Change comes gradually, when people come together and stand against what's wrong, which has been harder to do these days where we routinely lose family members and friends to Facebook radicalisation. My advice is to do what I've been doing, after years of trial and error: putting myself first, staying realistic about my goals, practising empathy, remembering to be a role model rather than a preacher, and giving myself time before I make a decision.

I like you prefer to boycott Amazon but between shipping fees, delivery time, dodgy neighbours, prices, fear of scammers (...), I used it occasionally to get stuff whenever it felt like the best solution. But then, at the beginning of the pandemic, I bought face masks online from a French pharmacy, which cost quite a lot but I was trying to do the good thing. Three weeks later I received a white piece of plastic that looked like every package from Wish videos on Youtube from somewhere in China that contained the masks with a little note in broken English stating that those were only for fashion and couldn't be worn for medical reasons.

I did some research and realised that they bought the items for pennies on Aliexpress and got the suppliers to directly send me my order - it's a very scammy and common concept called drop shipping. If you're looking for anything brandless on Amazon (from sunglasses to hairbrushes to decoration and gym equipment), check out Aliexpress and your cart will go from 132,99 to 17 bucks in under five minutes. So after years of judging people who use Aliexpress or Wish, I started doing the same, because what I receive is the exact same thing, but there's no mediocre business tycoon wannabee making a profit on my behalf in between.

And ever since, I've rethought my beliefs. I no longer feel bad about wanting children even though every human being creates a lot of waste in a world where Kylie Jenner takes a private jet to avoid a 40-minute drive. I no longer feel bad about occasionally flying to go on vacation because I have only one shot at living and once in a while I deserve a break. I no longer feel bad about doing my nails even though I will have to buy and dispose of cotton buds because I'm tired of neglecting my happiness to avoid worsening problems I haven't even caused.

I still do what I can. I'm still conscious of what I do, don't waste water, buy all my clothes secondhand, donate money whenever I can and all that, but I'm at peace. I try and that's what matters in a world where succeeding is not an option.

Love,

Mum

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

Visiting your hometown

What happens when you take your man to your home town? As your memories, people and places come together how will he react?

A small/long drabble to get me back into writing. Enjoy!

Victor Creed

This mutant never thought that he would walk in your hometown. He didn't expect to see cultures that morph together into one special town, your town. A place where you grew up. So keeping all that in mind he was cautious. Various not to offend someone or to say a rude word in your mother tongue. For the first time in his life, he is frazzled and nervous. he will keep in his front pocket a small leaflet some words he heard you say a few times that may be of some assistance. trying to woo you.

-that old hag showed me the middle finger. let's go.

Unfortunately, anything that he says wrong, will be your responsibility to amend it. so good luck.

Loki

you just know that Loki will have your mother tongue in his little finger (that sounds weird but let's carry on) but do not be fooled, he can not survive the morning wave of people in the farmers market. something that is pretty much normal for you. Loki doesn't know how to feel when he sees the local butcher wrapping the meat in todays' newspaper giving it to buyers or how people shove him to the side as his black suit with the green scarf is more than brought down in value. he will hear the near shouts of Famers that are trying to sell their livelihood to him as his head goes from one side to another in a split second. he will easily get reeled in by the old farmer who just smells the innocence on the Midgardian addressed god. you know the moment you grabs his hand he looks at you.

-how did you ever survive in this chaos?

-I thought you said that chaos is your middle name.

-it is however my kind of chaos is more dignified.

-survive just a little bit more, I need to go to that man in the corner.

-oh, no...

Thor

we all in the fandom know that thor is a ball of joy. but when he lands in your city, your territory he is stoic. he is here on a mission and no one should stand in his way. he will glue himself to your side and he will hold the dictionary book in his mighty right hand and your hand in his left. he will not stand for wasting a day on mundane stuff that you do with him back in the HQ so say goodbye to lazying around. when you go to the oceanic part of your country you are now almost ready to drown him in the ocean. or just leave him on the road, it is getting that heavy.

-thor, think it is time to stop.

-what do you mean?

-to be honest, I don't know anymore I am so tired.

-you are right... let us stop. for 2 minutes and then you can drive again.

-I will leave you here.

Bucky Barnes

bucky loves to travel. he loves to see you in the role of a guide you tell him about the park where you cut your leg open and when you got to the hospital as a nun stood above you praying for your recovery. bucky loves to feel the fresh air going into his nose thinking to himself how this was the same air that you breathe in. he loves to see all the different parts of the city where you went to. even so much that he went to your former hairstylist.

-bucky, you don't have to do this.

-nonsense, doll. I want to experience it. just like you did.

-that was eons ago. and I wore super short hair, like a hedgehog.

-hedgehog?

-yeah, it was so short that I only put on gel and made small spikes.

- I will give everything I have and say that you looked beautiful.

-alright, your call.

Steve Rogers

steve cannot wait for enough for him to arrive in the city where you walked, ran, and laughed. he cannot wait to enter your old apartment and see all of the hidden pieces that he wants to know. he loves to help you clean the apartment and see a big box of your old photos. he will look with your through on the hard wooden floor with one arm around your shoulders as you talk about each photo. even showing him the photo of your sister.

-when will I meet her?

-I don't know.

-didn't you say that she lived here, still?

-yeah...

-I want to meet her. I think am ready for it.

-okay...

Bruce Wayne

you just know that when you told him to pack his bags to go with you he did his research. he knows when, how the city was built. he will try to memorize the tongue twisters and say them horribly wrong just to make you laugh. when he looks at your old apartment he tries to envision the day you left it all behind to go to Gotham and it breaks his heart to imagine you in tears.

-bruce.

you take his calloused hand feeling his fingers tighten the grip.

-sorry, I immediately imagined you when you moved out. I got sad.

-why?

-because, you surely cried.

-I did, a little, but this city didn't have that something.

-and what is that?

-you dumbass. now stop sulking we need to clean.

Clark Kent

as Clark arrived at the farm where your aunt lived he couldn't help feel but prepared. he saw the cows eating grabs and was ready in a split second to milk it just to show off his soft and delicate side. Clark heard the stories of your aunt, well one of them, and from what he concluded, for now, this aunt was the beginner level, nice one, the one who won't tear him a new one if he doesn't treat you right. as the door opened you greeted your aunt in your mother tongue and introduced your man. Clark shakingly trying to reply in the mother tongue feeling the few letters that stood together could fall more apart than from his mouth. your aunt laughed hugging him and roughly patted him on his back. almost like a punch if you will. you look at your aunt and Clark cannot help but stand behind you as he whispered.

-what did she say?

-she said that you seem stiffer than a goat's turd.

-you said that this aunt was nice.

-she is. but that is the way we express ourselves.

-with curse words???!!

-what better way.

Arthur curry

Arthur was relaxed when he arrived, he was laid back when he slept in your apartment but that all suicide jumped off a cliff as he shook hands with your mother. Your mom wasn't that intimating but he heard the stories of her standing to your abusive father and running away with just some change in her pocket and a used car. he knows that the woman in front of him is strong can make or break your relationship. so he held the coffee cup in his hands as if was the key to everything he needed to know how to make your mother happy. he saw how your eyes sparkled when you talked to her how your smile ever left for a second you take what seemed to him in complete gibberish but cute gibberish. your mother turns to him asking in English.

-so Arthur, can I call you by your first name?

-yes, madam. of course, you can.

-thank you. well, then Arthur what do you do for a living?

with a small nod from you, he tells the honest truth.

-I am a superhero. but minus the stupid cape. I am here to keep you and your daughter, of course, safe from all danger. and I hope you will like me!!!!

you turn to your mother with a small chuckle as you tell her in your mother tongue.

-he is helpless.

-he seems like it, good luck, Y/n.

Orm Marius

nothing can save his pulse from rising as he walked with the crowd of people in the town square only your hand which he held more than tightly enough. you stopped pointing at a big statue of a colonel on a horse placed in the middle of the square.

-he is a big deal.

-yes, I can imagine the poor people that had to lift it up to place it here.

-yes, but thanks to those people, people now in the present can always remember what they went through at that time.

he didn't find any specialness in the statute for him it lacked in far more than that he can count but when he saw your face looking at the statue he knew that whatever that stirred in you he wanted to see it every day. he only squeezed your hand placing a kiss on your knuckles.

-does this mean you want in your likeness?

-sure, but only if you will make it.

-oh, darling, that is a recipe for chaos.

The Joker

j never put effort into himself. he did in destruction, in chaos, in mayhem, and even in covering his white skin with some basic foundation as he meets your off the edge aunt. when you told him that every second sentence from her is a curse he was more than ready to meet her. because sometimes crazy people click with the people who like to curse. everyone knows that. so when he sat in the house of your crazy aunt he firstly observed, he watched you talked together and exchanged laughs, even more, when you ever brought to tears as you laughed off the curses she threw at you so playfully making even j smile. so when she turned to him it was game time. and you were the translator.

-my aunt asked what is that you do for a job?

-tell her I am the man of your dreams.

-I told her that.

-damn, then tell her-WHAT?!

you giggle at his shock as you heard the playful quote she told you when you were little and j wanted to know what she said.

-what did she say?

-she said "if a girl gives a man a hand, she will give him her ass"

-your aunt is a wise woman.

- I knew you would like her.

Duncan Vizla

Duncan likes to take walks and taking a walk with you next to him as you showed him around your old neighborhood and told him stores of the always pissed on metal slide and the always filled cafes that were always the pinpoints for some scammers he found in question why you like it so much. as you showed his around you stopped at your old elementary school. you showed him the main entrance was where everyone hurled in the morning hours and where you sat with your friends and talked about the horribly proffers that still to this day haunt you. something he heard you mumble in your sleep.

-she was that awful?

-yes, and people like here never get old it's like the evilness she has in her keeps her eligible for work.

-am i not the same?

he couldn't ask a stupider question. and for that, you punched him in the shoulder.

-don't compare yourself to her. you aren't evil.

-you are forgetting my job, darling.

-you kill for money, she kills for fun and to keep herself alive. a difference now let's go home I need to remind you just how good and attentive you can be.

-lead the way, dove.

hope you liked it. Tell me what you think❤️

Support me with a kofi

[absurdthirst]

(Scammed anon) When I talk about how I feel or what/it happened, they get angry at me for being upset. My brother hates talking about it because he says he saw how emotional I get about it and doesn’t want me to be upset. My mother on the other hand...she was so fucking angry at me for all of may June and July. She kept making off hand comments about being broke. Like I wasn’t the one who lost ALL of my savings, all the savings I was hoping to use for school. She kept saying that the scammers are “FUCKING WITH YOU AND YOU KEEP GIVING THEM MORE MONEY”. There was little empathy or compassion from her when I needed it most. There was just anger and annoyance and frustration. Which I can get. But all I wanted then was to be told it’ll be okay thag it’s just money. That I’m not stupid for falling for it and that my life isn’t over. In a lot of ways, I took care of myself during that time but I know if I ever said that, my family would jump on me. My mom forgave the money I lost her when her taxes came back in late august.

I am so sorry hun. I can’t imagine how upset and scared you were. 

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

[randomguywithwords]

On The Line: Part 1 of 3 (KamiJirou Short Story)

No quirk AU, normal life and all. Enjoy

––––––

Jirou’s phone buzzed. She frowned when she saw that it was an unknown number, but the country code was that of Japan’s. She answered, assuming it would be a prank caller, or Mina using a stranger’s phone because hers died from playing battery-draining gacha games. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi!” A boyish voice was on the other end, sounding slightly out of breath. “I’m Denki Kaminari, I need your help.”

Prank caller it is. Although it was unusual for them to introduce themselves by an actual name, It was likely fake. 

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number,” She responded, mustering all the politeness she had at this stranger who was interrupting her precious break time. 

“No, no, please! You’re 81907621 right?”

“That’s correct,” Mechanically she said, taking a sip of her coffee and feeling a growing sense of frustration of how much time this Kaminari was wasting. 

“Just give me 15 seconds!” His voice was fraught with panic, so much so that Jirou started to question how genuine this person was. 

Rubbing her temples, she sighed, “Ok. 15 seconds for your sales pitch, and I’m hanging up.” She definitely could have hung up 10 seconds ago, but on the off chance this wasn’t a prank call, or a scammer, but an actual person in dire need of whatever assistance Jirou was supposed to provide, then so be it. 

“I’m applying for a job, and they asked for references, and I meant to put down my ex-teacher’s phone number, but I accidentally put yours instead, and I just found out and the company said they would be calling you soon and I really, really need you to tell them I’m suitable and not that I screwed up my application. I know it sounds stupid but I can prove it. My teacher’s name is Shota Aizawa and he’s a teacher at U.A High. You can look it up!”

Kyoka whistled under her breath at how fast he had managed to speak, and even more so that she caught it all. Guess being friends with fast talkers like Ashido and Momo was a good life skill after all. 

“Okay, I’ll google him and you to see if you’re telling the truth. You’re an alumnus there? What year?”

“Graduated just last semester.”

“Hm, how convenient. I did too. Lucky you landed me and not some old lady.”

There was a nervous chuckle on the other end. “I swear it’s the truth. Please help me, I’ll even pay you if need be. Just don’t tell the company I messed up.”

Some employee he would be, Jirou grumbled internally, though she did sympathise with his self-caused plight. She could remember the bunch of times she had total failures and had to be bailed out. 

“I’ll call you back in 5 minutes. And the second you ask for my credit card number I’m reporting you to the police, got it?”

“Yes!” He yelped. 

Jirou hung up, and then resumed her break, wondering whether all of this was worth the trouble. With another sigh, she pulled out her laptop and typed in the names she heard. 

“Hmm. It all checks out,” She muttered, scrolling through U.A High’s official website. Looking through social media accounts, she repeatedly saw both Shota Aizawa’s face in staff photos as well as Denki Kaminari. While the former looked as if he had woken up five minutes before taking the photo, the latter sported a mischievous look, with yellow, unkempt hair. 

In other words, Denki Kaminari looked exactly like the type of person who would fill in the wrong number in an extremely important document. 

Closing her laptop, she sent a text message to Kaminari’s number. “Send a selfie. I need to make sure it’s you.”

The reply – sent in a record-breaking time, she might add, was more amusing than she thought, seeing his expression that spoke levels of, “I’m not sure what face I should make for this.” Nonetheless, she was pretty convinced that Kaminari wasn’t bullshitting her. 

“Alright,” Jirou began when Kaminari answered her call, “I believe you. So, what do you need me to do?”

“Uh, right, I just need you to pretend to be my ex-teacher and answer their questions.”

“Right, but I’m a girl, if you haven’t noticed. Wouldn’t your teacher have a more gravelly voice, from the looks of him?”

A pause. “Sorry, I did not consider that. Uh...” The frantic pace in his voice was returning. “Do you have boyfriends?”

Jirou coughed to contain her laughter at the question, that Kaminari immediately corrected. 

“Shit – I didn’t mean it like that! Like – boy friends. Guy friends, friends who are guys!” 

“Yeah, so I give the phone to them?

“If you could, I would be so, so thankful.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. But now, you’re going to have to fill me in on your life story, or the parts relevant to this job. What are you applying for, by the way?”

“It’s an admin job at a tuition agency.” 

“Okay. Could you text me whatever’s needed? I’ll deliver all this to my friend.”

“Sure, sure. Thanks so much for helping me with this, by the way. I could send you some money or something.”

“Let’s discuss that later. Do you know when they’ll call?”

“Well it’s the lunch hour now, maybe in an hour or two?”

“Gotcha. Call you back when it’s all over, and good luck to you.” 

“Okay. Bye!”

Jirou hung up, and called another person, “Yo. Meet me in the canteen ASAP.”

5 minutes later, a tired Hitoshi Shinsou sat down in front of her, tired being a redundant adjective. “What’s up?”

Kyoka began to explain. Shinso’s face barely shifted throughout, and he only had one question at the end. “How are you so sure I can imitate this Aizawa person?”

“Here’s a video of him delivering a speech.” 

After five seconds of listening, Shinso put down the earphones. “Alright, so I just speak normally. Got it.”

A smile curled at Jirou’s lip. It had been an admittedly boring day of classes. Maybe this plot of sorts would make it more interesting, but Jirou wouldn’t admit it to herself yet, but she was becoming more interested in this character of Kaminari Denki. 

–––––––––

Just a plot idea I thought of and saw how applicable it was to these two characters. I’m not sure whether it’s been done before, but the wrong number texting trope has been. *coughs in Dial and Error by Ionica01 which is one of the best Todomomo fics I’ve read* I’ve linked it, hope she doesn’t mind ._. But it really is very good IMO. 

Anyway, I swear this is just a 3 part story. Not a full length novel/novella. I’m working on c25. 

[prorevenge]

A stranger scammed me out of $300 online. I tracked him down, called his dad's work phone, and got my money back.

Long post, TL;DR below. Early last year I was deep in depression, spending the Spring in my room (I work in a seasonal industry which pays just enough to live on during the off months.)

All I did was play video games all day which led to me getting into game marketplace sites and planning on starting a side hustle selling in game items and accounts in MMos. I was brand new to the "industry" and didn't have contacts to learn from, so I just went for it and posted my first listing. I got a few hits back early and found an interested "buyer" (I'll refer to him later as C) who told me he was ready to purchase.

The way these transactions are supposed to go is this: A reputable middleman (There were several known MM in the community that I joined) takes in the product and the payment, verifies both, then distributes both ways after taking a cut for their services. This circumvents the "you first" prolem where you have to trust solely in the other guy to not scam you. -Well.. They impersonated a middleman well enough to fool me. I admit that it was 100% on me, I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to start selling so bad and I was glad to see quick hits on my first listing.

So, the "middleman" (To this day I don't know if there was a 3rd person acting as middleman or if it was C all along) takes the buyer's money, then the product which was a high ranked account in a popular competitve game. Suddenly, the MM says there was a problem with the payment and it needs to be redone.

At this point I know game's over and I just got scammed, but I went along with it as a sad parting gift to my first "sale." I message C and asked him how this was going to go. He told me he'll just direct paypal me the $300 now and apologized, which didn't make sense to me (you already scammed me, why haven't you blocked me yet?) I gave him my paypal email.

Conversation goes like this: C- "Sent." Me- "repeats my email same email correct?" C- "F%@& I sent it to the wrong email. I'll call paypal." Me- 3 minutes later "Are you going to send me $300 or no?" C- "I only had $450 in my paypal account, they should be able to refund me over the phone." Me- 5 minutes later "Okay. Progress?" C- "On the phone with them." Me 10 minutes of silence later- ":D" Then he goes offline. I call the MM several times but he's standoffish and won't pick up saying "something something privacy.. you arent giving me a reason to pick up the call." It's clear he's not being real with me.

I don't know what to do at this point as I've never encountered a sudden loss of hard work like that. I'm not a drinker at all but that night when faced with that emptiness while trying to get out of depression, I hit the bottle hard.

The next day I woke up naked on my bathroom floor in the pitch black and sheepishly checked my PC to see if it really happened. Without any hope at all I started googling this kid's two usernames that I knew of. I scanned the internet for every site that had an account with the same username that he used, but only found more scam reports (yep, I wasn't his first victim.) So I gave up.

A week later I came back and did it all over again, but this time I thought to check his discord profile to see if he had any other profiles linked to it (steam, twitch, etc.) and the genius did. I checked his steam profile and wrote down each of his past usernames that looked unique and wouldn't pull a million results.

After hours of scanning each one, I had his name, age (teenager,) city, email, skype, knew he went to chess tournaments as a kid, liked neopets, and found a youtube channel with his class project videos on it. It still wasn't enough though. All the information got me was another two contact methods, and I didn't want to start harassing him.

He ghosted me and emailing him wasn't going to change that. If I was going to get my money back, I needed to contact his parents and I knew this all along. In a last ditch effort I googled his emails again, found his google+ profile, and saw that he had a public photo library (which was discontinued by google very shortly after all this happened.) It had 1 picture. A perfect view of his house, from the street. Street number in view. After some searching without finding much I clicked "More info" on the picture and the the geo-tagged coordinates attatched to the picture appeared.

So now I have the address which I google along with the last name, which leads to me getting the first & last names of both parents. I pop that into trusty whitepages and have everything I need to spring my plan into action. While all this was going on I was updating my friend who lives in the same area as C. He asked if I wanted him to call since he had the same area code. It lined up perfectly so I agreed.

At this point I realize it's March 30th, just two days before April fools and C could probably play this off as some elaborate joke played by his friends so I call my friend off. It was so hard to wait, but we did and we waited long enough that it couldn't be looked at as a joke at all.

Two weeks later in a discord call I give my friend the green light and he calls phone #1. The cell. After a little ringing it cuts to voicemail and we decide to try phone #2, the work phone. This time the phone rang for significantly longer but also cut to voicemail and the message before the beep confirmed we had the right dad. My friend leaves a message saying "Hello Mr. ______, this is _ ______ with (marketplace name's) collection department. We currently have multiple fradulent activity cases open with your son C, totalling x thousands of dollars (I added up all the reports against him which were posted on the site and it totalled thousands, even talked to a couple people who he targeted.) At the moment we're reviewing the most recent case which involved a $300 transaction. If you could please, get back to us between 9am-10pm to resolve these cases. Thank you" All that was paraprased but that was his message.

He was very professional and seemed legit, and even though the dad might listen to it and ignore it we didn't think that was going to happen. It's worth noting that they live in a nice area of a nice state, so there was less of a chance that this would be a financial burden and the parents would likely just want to clear this up.

Two days later, while playing video games (yeah I had a problem.) I get a contact request notification. MY BOY C!

He tells me that he's a good person and he wants to give the account back. I check it and he played 10 games and lost each one which deranked and devalued the account (at this point I pretty much knew his parents were standing over his shoulder watching everything that was said. I could've even been speaking to them directly.) So I told him the account devalued, and I either want what he stole from me (the account at a higher rank) or I want $300. He told me he'll give me the account AND $300 (Parents coming through in the clutch!)

We went through a lot of hoops, trying paypal which he couldn't get to work, a few others and finally got google pay to work after troubleshooting stupid problems which I attriubted to him stalling. It was clear that they were scared of me since I got their info (and regularly called him by his first name throughout the convo as a power move lol) but I assured them I wasn't a bad person and told them to be extra safe of what you upload, especially if you're trying to scam people because when money is involved bad things can happen (playing into his parents who were surely reading it.) I explained the public Google+ upload of their clear to see geo-tagged house which I'm sure his they weren't happy about.

After he sent the money he asked for confirmation that I received it. I confirmed saying "YOU F** DID IT! SO PROUD OF YOU, C!" and he immediately went offline. I danced up and down the hallway and it was probably embarrasingly bad but I didn't care. I don't think the smile was gone from my face for an hour. It was a month long process and with the help of my friend the money was back. I haven't seen my friend in person since then, but when I do I owe him a top notch steak. He refused when I sent him $ online.

Instead of trying to resell the account and start back up in the marketplace I abandoned it all and went another way. I'm currently training for the military and in a much better place, but still have a long way to go.

A lot was left out of this story but it was a long one. I have screenshots of our conversations and I surely won't ever forget it.

TL;DR - I tried selling a video game account to see if I could make a new side hustle and got scammed since I was dumb, inexperienced and decided to trust the internet. I got scammed and took it hard but the scammer left too much of his info public and after a little bit of elbow grease I was able to obtain his & his parent's info and left his dad a voicemail. Two days later the scammer contacted me and gave me the money and the account back, apologizing. I learned from it.

(source) story by (/u/dstrezzd)

[richiebc2021]

I'm not quite sure if this is the place I can talk about this so let me know.

SCAMMERS, CATFISHING AND ONLINE DATING

I've never had to resort to online dating apps in my entire life. I started using them recently as I moved to Vancouver BC Canada about 2 years ago from the other side of the country from a small city called Miramichi in New Brunswick. Now when I initially came here I was going to work 3 months and move back but fell in love with this province. So with that I don't know anyone and started using dating apps to meet people. So as soon as I sign up I start getting Likes and messages and I'm like blown away as some of these likes are from beautiful woman. Now I'm not the most handsome man nor am I ugliest and would rate myself and 7-8. Here I'm getting messages from a hard 10s and they are young in their early 20s and I'm 42. So oblivious to how things are I'm clicking YES and getting matches. So I start having conversations and then I started seeing a pattern. I would get these matches who would start asking for my WhatsApp...which is basically asking for my phone #. So not having any doubts thinking to myself wow I'm getting these beautiful woman asking for my numbers. Well now this is where I start realizing something is not right. These girls start telling me they love me, ask for gift cards, send them money, invest in Bitcoin and etc. WTF!! "YOU LOVE ME??" "YOU WANT ME TO INVEST $50,000" "YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU A NEW IPHONE" I don't even know your name and you haven't asked for mine? We have spoken no more then 30mins and less then 100 words and you love me. I see that these so called hard 10s may not be who they are claiming to be...so I started asking these girls can we videochat and WOW right away oh I can't right now"I'm at work" or "I'm with my grandma" or "my cam don't work and that's why you should buy me a new iphone Baby so you can video" OMG!! Are dating apps just a breeding ground for scammers? How stupid do you think I am to give a person who won't videochat, talked to me for 10mins and doesn't even know my name to give you money, gift cards or a new iphone. So now I know right away the "RED FLAGS" as they put it on MTVs Catfish Show and can pick them out right away. But with that being said how does a 42yr old man, with his own place, great job, non drinker, honest, caring, Outgoing, friendly, funny, generous do to meet friends or find dates? I love Vancouver but I find people are very reluctant to invite strangers into their circles and Covid doesn't really help with things either and I have always kept my personal and work separate. PLEASE HELP @richvanbcman

#singlelifesucks #ihatescammers #pleasehelp #onlinedating #vancouverbc #needfriends #lookingforlove #niceguyrighthere #futurehusbandhere

[alarawriting]

California Road Trip (Good Omens/Lucifer (TV))

OK, it is normally not my policy to post fanfiction to this account, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like a bad idea to do it if it’s a brand new fandom I haven’t done stuff in before, so here I go.

A few notes before I start here:

Both Good Omens and the tv series Lucifer are very, very much situated within Christian mythos - Christian specifically, not Judaism. However, Jesus Christ is very much Jewish. I don’t want to offend any Jewish readers, but I just won’t put up with the Christian historical attempt to somehow erase this fact. So I’m going to try to write him as a practicing Jew, which I admit is going to be weird, because generally speaking, Jewish people do not believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ, which puts him in a kind of “who shaves the barber” situation here.

If there are any Jewish folks out there who would not be bothered by being asked questions about Judaism for the sake of a fanfic starring Jesus Christ and the Antichrist on a road trip, please let me know, because while I’ve been reading about Judaism my entire life and have a great deal of interest in the religion and culture, the fact remains that I was raised Catholic. 

BTW, the title is a working title and may very well end up changed.

Adam Young sat morosely on a bench in the baggage claim at LAX, occasionally kicking his satchel as an expression of his frustration. Bloody stupid America had to be so bloody damn big. And he couldn’t do anything mundane about it – couldn’t hire a car, his driver’s license wasn’t valid in the States; couldn’t get a flight to San Francisco, because Mum and Dad were hardly made of money and his own funds had been just enough to get here; and maybe there was public, a bus or something, but how was he supposed to find it? All the signs and adverts on the walls were for car rental agencies and buses to local hotels.

He fussed with his phone, trying to get Google to tell him how to get a bus to San Francisco so he wouldn’t have to use his other options. The data plan didn’t work in the States and the airport didn’t have free wifi, so he was trying to find an unsecured network he could hop on. Strengthening the signal of an unsecured network seemed to him more legitimate than, say, hacking a secure network, and much more so than, for example, shortening the distance between Los Angeles and San Francisco so he could hire a taxi. He was definitely not going to go that far.

“Hey there,” he heard a man say. “You look frustrated. Anything I can do to help?”

Adam looked up. There was a tall, skinny man with shaggy brown hair in a ponytail, the almost-not-quite sprinkling of facial hair on the chin that people were calling a “soul patch”, and light brown skin of the kind you might see on an Arab, or a Greek, or given that this was the States, maybe a Mexican. He was dressed in very nondescript American clothes – gray t-shirt, plaid long-sleeve shirt unbuttoned, blue jeans, sneakers – and had the kind of friendly smile that made you immediately want to trust him and tell him your problems. Adam was deeply suspicious.

“Oh, no, don’t put yourself to any trouble on my account,” Adam said. “I’ve just got a thing I need to work out, is all.”

“No problem,” the man said. “But if there’s anything I can do to help you, please, just ask. We’re family, after all.” He grinned widely.

Adam blinked at that. “…Family?”

The man extended his hand. “Josh Carpenter. I’m your cousin.”

Adam’s da had no siblings. Mum had one, Adam’s flamboyantly gay uncle who definitely did not have any children or Adam would have been hearing about them his entire life. “I don’t have any cousins.”

“Well. Okay. Technically I’m your uncle, but you and I are a lot closer in age than the rest of the family so I really don’t feel comfortable calling myself an uncle.”

“I’ve only one uncle and you’re definitely not him.”

“Other side of the family,” Josh said.

Adam stood up, preparing to put some distance between himself and the obvious scammer. “My da hasn’t got any brothers or sisters.”

“Other other side, Adam,” Josh said. “The side you don’t like to think about much.”

And that knocked the wind out of him. Adam stared at the other man, who looked to be at most a year or two older than Adam himself. “…My other other side. You mean… my bio-father.”

“That’s a rather cold word to use, but I can see why it would be your choice,” Josh said. “Yes. Your bio-father’s my older half-brother.”

“So you’re a—” He hesitated. How did you publicly call someone an angel, or a demon, and which would it be? And wouldn’t it be offensive if he got it wrong? He’d gotten the distinct impression from Crowley and Az that most of their people were not nearly as laid-back or friendly as they were, and if this was an emissary from his bio-father, was he going to have to unleash his other side after all? They weren’t supposed to interfere on Earth, not in any way that inconvenienced him, anyway.

“Oh, no, no. I’m as human as you are.” Josh smiled again. The expression lit up his entire face, making him practically radiate ‘I’m a great guy, you should want to be my friend.’

Adam was about to retort that if Josh knew as much as he thought he did, he’d know exactly how human Adam was, and wasn’t, when his brain finished processing the name “Josh Carpenter” in the context of the other things the man had said, and realized who he was talking to. “Wait – you’re – my God.” Abruptly he realized that what he’d said was so apropos it went out the other side to being inappropriate. “I mean—”

Josh laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I know what you’re trying to say,” he said. “Anyway, I’m not, you know. Not like people think, anyway. I’m basically like you.”

Adam, entirely too aware of how close to being a god he was, was not reassured. “So, um… do we need to fight now, or something? Because I really don’t want to fight anyone.”

This time Josh’s laugh wasn’t a gentle chuckle, but more like a belly laugh. “No, no!” He got his hilarity under control. “No. You made your decision when you were eleven, and I’m really glad, because I never wanted any of that nonsense either. And to be perfectly honest I don’t think Father did either. The whole thing came from John’s predictions, and I think they all somehow got the idea that John was channeling information directly from Father because he was one of my best friends, but the truth is? John was… a little weird, to be honest. Wonderful guy, great friend, but… he was never all that grounded, if I’m being honest.”

“So wait. None of that business was in the Divine Plan after all?”

“Contrary to popular belief I don’t generally have any more idea what Father is up to than anyone else, but I do know Him better than most, and no. I don’t think any of that was His idea.”

“Huh.”

Adam must have made a face that somehow indicated his bemusement, because Josh asked, “What?”

“It’s just… I’ve got a pair of friends. Well, I’m sure you know about them if you know about the Apocawasn’t, and Crowley and Az both refer to God as Her.”

Josh shook his head. “It’s a thing He’s been encouraging lately because the English language doesn’t have a good neuter pronoun, and obviously God is larger than any concept of gender, and He’s not really thrilled with what humans have assumed about Him based on the pronoun. But He doesn’t really care which you use, as long as it’s respectful, and… I had a biological mother. I’ve had quite some time where I’ve been using masculine pronouns, so I’m not going to switch unless He asks me to.”

“But it’s okay that I call Her my grandmother? Because that’s hilarious.”

“Sure. Grandmother, grandfather, granddeity… whatever you want. Long as it’s respectful enough.”

“I’m not sure my mental picture of God in a babushka kerchief and a rocking chair is respectful though.”

“Ah, ‘respectful’ when I say it doesn’t mean what the people who supposedly listen to me mean when they say it. I’m Jewish. If you want to picture God as rocking in a chair and wearing a kerchief, maybe doing Her knitting, creating a planet or two? That’s fine. The respect we’re called on to give to God – and by we, I mean humans, but I don’t think it’s much different for half-humans like you and me – is exactly like the respect you give your grandmother. If your grandmother says something that’s stupid and insensitive, you challenge her, because it was stupid and insensitive. If she has rules that make no sense, you challenge them. If She disowned your brother and most of his friends because he talked back to Her, absolutely you get to call Her on that and tell Her that was a dick move. But you still respect her, because She’s your grandmother. You exist because She gave you life, directly or indirectly.”

Adam thought he had stopped talking about a merely hypothetical grandmother about halfway through that. “Really? You tell God that something She did was a dick move?” He laughed.

“Every chance I get,” Josh said, grinning. “We actually disagree about a lot of things, but He listens to me more than He does to anyone else, I guess. Youngest son syndrome or something.”

Adam had in his life had conversations about ending the world, about life on the planets of Alpha Centauri, and about the management structure of Hell, but this still counted as one of the more surreal conversations he’d ever had. “So. Um. Were you just doing something when I happened to stroll by, or did you actually come here to see me?”

Josh put up his hands. “Guilty, I admit it,” he said. “I knew you were here and I knew you were in a little bit of trouble. I didn’t want to pry enough to find out what, though, so you want to tell me? I can probably help out.”

“I don’t need a miracle. I can do that for myself.”

“Good for you. I don’t do them anymore unless it’s an emergency, either, so I think we’re on the same page about that. What’s wrong?”

Adam sighed. “It’s such a bloody stupid mistake to make. I forgot how big the States are. In particular, this state. I came here to see Pepper at Berkeley, she’s doing her grad studies there… you know my friend Pepper, right?”

“She was there that day, so yes, I do.”

“You weren’t there, though.”

“The angels knew I disapproved of the whole thing and kept interfering with me getting a chance to talk to you, but I definitely checked out the whole thing afterward. So yes, I know of Pepper.”

“Right. And the price for a flight to Los Angeles was so much less than San Francisco, I could afford it myself without asking Mum and Da for money. And I had completely forgot that it’s a three hour drive between the two cities, because seriously? That’s much too much for the same state! Who even drew the boundaries for this state, because it’s ridiculous!”

Josh laughed. “I won’t argue against that. And I think I may have just the thing. Although it might take a miracle of the more mundane variety to get it to actually drive for three hours straight without breaking down, but I do have a pickup truck.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, taking in Josh’s appearance. “I’d have thought some kind of, I don’t know, tiny enviro-friendly electric car would be more your thing.”

Josh snorted. “Do you have any idea how much those things cost? If I had that kind of money, it’d go straight to a soup kitchen, maybe a homeless shelter or two. My pickup’s not the greatest, but it still runs, and it lets me carry furniture donations and things like that.”

“You do some kind of ministry or something?”

“Always,” Josh nodded. “Though not like you’re probably thinking. My day’s over; I’m here on Earth because you are, not for my own sake, so I let humans take the lead. I do volunteer work for several of the local Jewish charities, helping the homeless, the hungry, you know.” He leaned on the wall with one hand. “So. Up for a road trip with your cousin?”

“Uncle.”

“You’re making me feel old.”

“You’re two thousand, I should hope so!” Adam said, grinning.

“Yes, but all my brothers and sisters are billions of years older than me, so by that standard, you and I are practically the same age.” He pushed off the wall. “And speaking of my brothers. Did you know your father is in town?”

Adam went cold. “Wait, what? The Devil is here in Los Angeles?”

“Yes. Running a nightclub, apparently.” Josh put a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “You know, I really think you should meet with him. You shouldn’t completely shut your father out of your life even if you don’t want to be close.”

“He’s not my father,” Adam scowled. “My Da’s the one who taught me to ride a bike and who read stories to me at night and cooked me terrible hash browns when Mum was poorly and couldn’t make supper.”

“Right, I get that,” Josh said. “My dad taught me how to build a house, or a cabinet, and taught me how to ride a donkey, and used to walk me to Temple so he’d know where I was because he said I was going to go anyway so he might as well walk me there. But I also have a Father. It’s okay, you know, to acknowledge more than two parents. Step-parents and adopted parents have been a thing since humanity came into existence.”

“Yeah, well, your Father never appeared to you as a giant monster crawling out of the pavement trying to destroy your entire planet.”

“And I really think you ought to try to meet up with Lucifer and talk to him about that. Put some of those conflicts to bed. He was frequently a pretty terrible person when he was running Hell, but… it’s Hell. It makes people terrible even if they were great to begin with. He’s so much better now that he’s not there anymore.”

“What, do you hang out with him often?”

Josh shook his head. “He doesn’t even know I’m here. I haven’t gone to look him up in person, but… you know how it is. If you’re interested in knowing about a person… sometimes it just happens. That happens to you, too, right?”

Adam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Actually it does.” The thought occurred to him that Josh was the only other person on the planet who might really understand some of Adam’s challenges and sorrows in life. The stress of having to restrain near-omnipotent power, so often, because you wanted to be a human and to fit in with humanity, not to stand above it as some sort of lonely god – or devil. Crowley and Az knew a bit of it, but they’d never been human, and Warlock understood some of the weirdness of Adam’s life but had never had the power to perform miracles.

He made a decision. “If you’re offering, I’ll take you up on that trip to San Francisco, and you can maybe talk me into… meeting my bio-dad. Maybe. No promises.”

“That’s all I can ask,” Josh said.

“But if your car will hold together well enough… I’ve got a friend in the States, out on this coast, but I knew Washington was much too far away for me to visit him without a second plane trip. Maybe we could head up north and see him?” Warlock had fled the East Coast and the influence of his toxic parents as soon as he’d turned of age to do so. Adam had met him once or twice after the Apocawasn’t, when his father had had to come back to England – he hadn’t been the American ambassador anymore but he’d still had reasons to come back – and Crowley and Az had brought him to see the boy who should have been his parents’ son, his quasi-brother, at his insistence. But they hadn’t met in person in a few years; Warlock wouldn’t take money from his parents to fly to England and this was Adam’s first trip to the States.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

Adam grinned, remembering something. “Oh yeah. Is there an ice cream place around here? I heard as a kid that America has thirty one ice cream flavors.”

Josh laughed. “Only thirty-one? You’re in for a treat. Yeah, I know where to find the nearest Baskin-Robbins, that’s the chain that advertised about the thirty-one flavors. There’s actually a lot more than that. Though sadly, Baskin-Robbins’ stores don’t generally have all thirty-one at once.” He gestured toward the door. “Come on. It’s kind of a hike. I couldn’t afford to park in the closer lots.”

Adam picked up his satchel and followed Josh. “I don’t mind a walk,” he said.

[autorobotcollectorx]

Another Furby Fandom Issue

Hey everyone i want to address a few things and i have been holding out on doing this because i am just so sick of this hate and drama against me.I am going to discuss some personal happenings in my life since i don’t think there is any other way of defending myself unless i am %100 truthful on why these things happen.I’m going to address my sales first then the harassment.

TRIGGER WARNING : Talk about suicidal feelings and actions(no gory detail but implied) Mental Health,Child Abuse Neglect,Depression,Sexual abuse.

I am selling some furbies and at good prices at that because i want people who can’t afford furbies to have a chance of owning some.I have explained to people or atleast tried to explain why shipments are late or photos are as well.Here are some answers to questions and concerns people might have had. 

Why is my shipment taking so long? Sometimes i ship next day and sometimes i cannot.This is due to my lack of mobility since i am not able to drive i don’t have a say in what time of day i do go out and by then the post office is closed.I also can’t spare the money to use uber because i don’t have a job and am unable to work. My fiance comes to see me everyday but he usually gets off at 8:00pm and by then all the post offices are closed.So usually we set up a day i can go out and ship the items.Please don’t forget about my shipping days i have no problem discussing that with you.A few people who also had delays were due to me being hospitalized(I made up other excuses because i did not want to put emotional baggage on these people)These amazing people were very kind to me and got their furbies shipped to then when i could.Due to my living conditions i get very depressed and yes suicidal and i had hurt myself that time pretty badly.I hurt myself allot in non physical ways but that time was different and i am driven to such feelings often.

There was also a problem i got with one of my costumers when he sent a payment and i was getting so many payments for furbies that i did not notice his until a week later when he contacted me asking if i had sent the furby yet.It really got me anxious that something like that slipped by me and i hope he has no hard feelings for that.Things like this also happen because allot does slip my mind when i am under allot of stress.

Does My Furby Work?Is It In Good Condition? If this question crosses your mind please ask for me to test the furby and to take outdoor photos i have no issue doing that.Please never be afraid to ask for a refund if the furby you got is not what you wanted upon arrival.No one has contacted me after but it seems like a person was not pleased with the quality of a furby they got from me?Yet they NEVER contacted me again so i assumed the transaction was a success.You have to remember furbies are over twenty years old and unless they are fresh out of the box most will not be in mint condition that is out of my control.The furby i sold i had named Dusty and was bought from a smokers home i just had not got around to washing him.

I Don’t Feel Comfortable Buying Using Friends And Family!! If this is the case please state that up front i have no issue taking payments threw goods and services.I have been scolded for it and now i am not accepting payments unless its threw goods and services from now on i did not realize i was causing an issue and i am sorry if i made anyone feel uneasy.I had paypal accounts in the past where the money was held for two weeks not even using ebay and this happened.I try to get furbs out to people as soon as i can and i sometimes worry that i will upset someone.

You Lie About What You Use The Money For This is the furthest from the truth!I have needed money for several different things at different times like everyone who makes money will do.Once i had it that i needed money for a con and why should that be a bad thing?I hardly go anywhere and cons don’t happen often for me.I am allowed to treat myself sometimes its none of you’re concern if i use my money to get a furby or a coffee even though most of my money goes to getting food for me and my animals.

I’m sorry if i have cause any issues to anyone nothing i have done was to spite anyone,anger anyone or to scam people.

IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO ADD PLEASE PM ME AND I WILL ADDRESS IT!!

You REALLY wanna know why i need the money?!

Currently i am trying to save $500 or more to get out of a household that is toxic for me.Thats not much money to many but i am solely selling furbies because i have ran out of personal items that have value to sell.My living environment is currently living in a small room with hardly any space little to no air conditioning and called a slob because i am unable to clean the mess my parakeets make.They don’t have a vacuum and my parakeets eat these small seeds that when they fly around their cage the husks of the shells fly out of the cage and onto the carpet.This room is also full of my grandmothers items because they are hoarders (in their own words).As well as all the drama causing me to be so depressed that i have had no motivation to clean.I am misgendered on a daily basis and told “Oh but you are too pretty to be a boy” and more inappropriately comments on my female chest and body.Told to shave and how much better i would look as a girl.As well as told i am fat because i have stretch marks and how i need to eat less.I have PCOS and since i have lived here i have lost over fifty pounds because i usually (If i am lucky) eat once a day or twice.Things such as an avacado and a noodle pack.Thats why i am so stressed on money that and i need to keep my animals fed and healthy usually putting them before myself.

Since i have been living here my family has stolen $400 i made by selling an aibo that was special to me,my phone was stolen and one of my most therapeutic pets was taken,I was then told i killed him and gas lighted for about a month in a half about what i had done even though in reality my mother had stolen him from me.She was upset because i had made some friends and was out at the park with them.It was easy because i have no lock on my door or privacy.I ended up stealing him back and i had the cops called on me.My narcissistic mother and abusive step dad came over to defend my mom saying i stole their animal and since i was ftm the cops (which i already had issues with before because of my identity) had me hand over my snake and taken to a mental hospital.While demanding i hand my snake to my mom i started to cry and shake my snake was VERY underweight and sick looking and i was afraid for his safety.When my step dad saw me crying he started laughing at me loudly then whispered to my mother who was smiling over at me as well and saying out loud “I love you” to me.When i was trying to explain more to the cop he said “If you don’t give them back their snake i will arrest you” while he put his hand on his belt near the gun.(if you want to hear the story in more detail i can send you a link)

I have always been told since i was a child that i am an issue and that i am taking up space,now i am an adult and i am always made to feel like i  am not welcomed anywhere i live and that i need to leave or will be kicked out.This is currently the case where i live and again i feel like i am a burden on everyone i associate with.If i am kicked out now i would have to live with a “friend” of mines again and have no choice but to let him use me again.This first time this happened when i was nineteen he was forty eight and had no wheres to go and i had no other option other then to go to him or rid myself so i wont cause anymore inconvenience.I come from a broken family and narcissistic parents so being an outcast is nothing i am not use to but still makes me want to hurt myself and hate myself more.I was always the black sheep,escape goat and nothing i did was good enough or mattered to my mother.The reason i am unable to drive is because of the physical abuse i faced as a child and denial of medical care after the fact.I just want to fit in and for people to like me.

Not to mention i have childhood schizophrenia and sometimes don’t respond correctly to people or situations. 

I just wish i felt welcomed in a community for once.All i have going for me right now that helps me is the furby and furry fandom.Furbies make me calm and feel safe because they remind me of my childhood before my mother changed and before i lived with my abusive step dad.I know i may seem childish but i’m not sure what to tell you i am the way i am because of my upbringing and sometimes doing silly things,using ^^,uwu,ect collecting and carrying a furby with me when i am in public makes me just feel a little bit more okay.Just feels like everyone is working against me and wants me gone like everyone else has.

Please if anything please stop sending me asks such as “Please leave you are so toxic” “just reported you~” and others calling me an idiot,stupid,scammer,ect.This is not what i joined the fandom for and you should really be shamed for treating me like this over simple mistakes that i did not even mean to make.Can everyone just please leave me alone if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself.

I HATE that i have to talk about all of this but i just want to get away from my family and i wanted to start a new life offline and online with people who like the same things i do because i have never had that kind of acceptance in a community in my life.I want to be with my fiance and safe from myself and my family.I want to be a good person and be here for people and treat people right.Funny thing the things i have said are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my abuse and neglect i rather not spill everything.

I am sick of defending myself at every turn here is what happened if you missed it. https://autorobotcollectorx.tumblr.com/post/186489467324/i-saw-the-post-reblogged-from-autorobotcollectorx

Again PM me if you have a complaint instead of re-blogging this and causing me further stress i really can’t handle more right now. I might as well sell all my furbies and rid myself at thispoint.

Edit: 5am and still awake..well guess i wont be sleeping tonight either.I slept good last night but the night before i did not sleep either.I’m just a restless hungry mess.