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savannahsdeath · 1 year ago

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hii i have a little ellie request. so can we maybe have an enemies to lovers where reader and ellie “hate each other” but in reality ellie just wants to be with reader and she ends up using the strap roughly bc reader didn’t wanna confess after years? (sorry this seems long😭)

i absolutely love this idea omg??

ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

PART1ONE

part 2two

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut, 'enemies' to lovers, strap (r!receiving), mean!ellie kinda??, rough!ellie, reader is also mean at first !!

writers note: i love receiving requests like yall are so creative and idkk its just easier to write a req than my own idea🫣🫣 also this turned out to be longer than i expected (my longest fanfic yet!) but even the anon said it seems long so ig thats how its supposed to be🙏

It was another PE lesson you hate so much. It wouldn't be that bad, if not the fact that you're in the same team with Ellie. Ellie fucking Williams.

She would get mad at you for every little mistake you made. You absolutely hated her.

You had to admit she was... pretty. Especially when she had the mix of mad and stern expression on her face. Sometimes you provoked her just to watch her insult every little thing about you she could but you didn't mind. You just sat there with a smirk, sometimes making a mockingly worried face to piss her off even more. Sometimes. Sometimes you weren't in mood for that and you'd actually get offended. Sometimes even hurt. But you couldn't really blame her, that's how it works.

This day, you were literally rescuing your team. Every point was because of you. Every 'that was close' situation was only 'close' because of you. But your luck, or whatever made you win, had to run out eventually. You missed one time.

"What happened? Got holes in your hands? Tired? Not so good anymore?" Ellie asked you with that mocking tone.

Everyone ignored your interaction - they knew what's starting and they didn't want to get involved in that.

"I've done pretty much everything for this team, and the only thing you do is complain, Williams." You said and you could feel your temper rising.

Ellie didn't hesitate to respond to that.

"Well at least I don't do a half-ass job like you. You're really so full of yourself, aren't you? Why not just give up and let someone actually capable take over, huh?" She barked sarcastically.

The other team members didn't even try to hide their excitement now, they just sat back and enjoyed the show, even the teacher was having a hard time holding back the grin on his face whenever Ellie came up with a new insult.

And now, there was no going back.

"Oh, I'm sorry Williams, did your precious little ego get hurt from that? Are my skills threatening your so-called pride? Well if you don't like it, suck it up." You shot back.

If this kept up, you were going to end up with another detention for sure. Everyone knew that you two were like oil and water, but nobody really expected you to get into a shouting match over PE class. Especially, not this early in the morning.

The teacher finally decided that it was enough trouble, and he stepped between the two.

"Ladies, settle down! If you can't figure out how to work well together in a simple PE session, then you'll need more than one detention to figure it out. Go sit down." He ordered, and you two sat down, next to each other.

As if following a silent order, all the other students just went about their business and pretended like nothing had happened.

"You should learn how to shut up sometimes." You said quietly, nervously playing with your fingers.

"You should stop thinking you're so damn important." She snapped back, completely ignoring your advice as she stared at you with the same icy cold look as before.

The teacher came over to the two of you and handed you a form, which you quickly read over. "Maybe it's rough but that's what you both deserve after arguing in every single class. And if that won't help... I don't know what will. Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything, understood?."

In short, the file was saying you'll have spent a month after school doing little school works, like cleaning the gym, with her. It was a frequent way of dealing with problematic students in your school.

You weren't even surprised - the teacher was right. Your little bickers were the main gossip topic and there was no way they'll go unnoticed.

Still, you couldn't help but frown.

"You've got to be kidding me." You muttered under your breath. Spending a month after school doing odd jobs with Ellie was literally the last thing you wanted to do. You knew there was some sort of punishment coming, but this was extreme.

Ellie overheard your muttering, and she rolled her eyes. "It's just a bunch of cleaning, what's wrong, can't handle a little hard work?" She mocked.

"And why are you so happy? Maybe you wished to spend more time with me?" You chuckled, finally looking up at her.

Ellie seemed caught off guard, but she quickly recomposed herself. "Who said I was happy? Sure, I'll love to see you grovel and scrub floors while I sit back and relax." She replied in a sarcastic tone.

You decided to press your advantage, and give Ellie a dose of her own medicine. "Aww, is someone actually admitting that they like spending time with me? I'm so honored." You said with an overdramatized fake fluster.

Ellie didn't even let you finish your sentence before she cut in with her usual sarcastic tone. "Pfff, don't get so ahead of yourself there." She chided. Even then, you could hear some slight annoyance in her voice.

Ellie may have been a jerk, but there was something about her you couldn't help but like. You couldn't explain it, but you liked this banter between the two of you.

Oh, who were you trying to lie to? You liked her. You were just good at hiding it.

You were just about to open your mouth to respond to Ellie's last snarky remark, when you were cut off again.

"Enough."

You both turned to see the teacher staring at the two of you. He sounded more annoyed than before, and you decided it was better to stop your feud before you got in any more trouble.

"You two are already going to spend a month together doing odd jobs. The last thing we need is for you to add another week to that sentence." He warned.

You wanted to say something back, but you decided to shut up before the teacher had to make it worse. You and Ellie just looked at each other for a couple of seconds, before you rolled your eyes and got up from your seat.

After a few more classes, the time of fulfilling your penalty came. You sat down at the gym benches, waiting for Ellie. You waited, and waited, but no one came.

Ellie was faster than you with getting up. She smirked and said; "Well it's not like you actually had anything worth saying anyway, so it's easier for you." With that parting jab, she walked out of the gym.

You expected something like that from her, so you stood up and a few minutes later you were standing in front of her room. You knocked to the door, patiently waiting for her to answer.

After a few moments, you heard footsteps, before the door finally opened. Ellie stood in front of you, her face as annoyed as ever.

"What do you want?" she grumbled, clearly not in the mood to be bothered right now.

"Uh, hello? We're supposed to be doing the clean-up, remember? You haven't forgotten, right?" You said, trying to stay as polite as you could.

She sighed and motioned for you to come in, clearly not ready to go just yet.

You slowly stepped into Ellie's room, your eyes taking in the decorations and mess. It was clear that this was Ellie's world, but you couldn't help but feel a slight curiosity towards her.

"So, why exactly weren't you at the gym?" You asked, finally breaking the tension. You didn't want her thinking you were here to start another argument.

"I had stuff to do." Was the terse response you were met with, nothing else.

"Yeah, of course." You rolled your eyes. "Your room could use some cleaning too."

Ellie smirked when your tone turned from polite to annoyed when she gave you her response, but you couldn't help but notice that she slightly recoiled when you mention how messy her room was. For someone with such a sharp tongue, she sure wasn't enjoying that same kind of treatment.

"Oh yeah? So maybe we should have you clean my room instead." She shot back.

"Actually, boarding school is still school, so that'd count too." You smirked, not so sarcastically anymore. You'd really rather stay in her room than running all over the building with a mop and dirty cloths.

Ellie raised one eyebrow at your reply, clearly not expecting you to just accept it without some kind of snarky remark or argument.

"Alright then." She replied simply, and she walked over to her bed and started to clear out the clutter. You couldn't really deny that her room was in a pretty messy state.

You explored the room, looking for something to start with.

Just then, near other scattered clothes, you saw feminine underwear. Clearly not hers.

"Um, Ellie..." You laughed. "Who's this?"

She walked up to you, not seeming surprised or embarrased at all. "I dunno. There's lots of girls visiting." She smirked.

You knew the smart thing to do would be just to drop the topic, but your curiosity got the best of you. Just who was Ellie Williams hanging out with?

"Really? And how many of them leave a pair of underwear in your room as a souvenir?" You asked, trying to keep a straight face, but you couldn't help but be amused by the situation.

Ellie just laughed, and you couldn't help but grin at her confidence in that moment.

"If you're asking if I'm dating someone," Ellie said, looking at you with an amused expression, "then no. I wouldn't call it dating."

You knew Ellie was always too stubborn and proud to just admit it normally, so you decided to push her just a little bit further.

"So it's not just a single person then? What's it? A new girl every day?" you asked with a smirk, knowing you'd hit a nerve there.

The slight flicker of annoyance on Ellie's face told you that you'd hit the mark.

"So what if it is? Are you jealous?" She teased in response, just adding fuel to the fire.

Now, she had the smirk on her face, and you just knew you'll regret what you started.

"Not really. Everyone knows you fuck every girl in the school anyways. Well, almost every." You suggestively pointed at yourself. "That's honestly sad. You should focus on one person, don't you think?"

Ellie took this as a challenge, she just couldn't resist it when you made yourself the exception.

"Oh, you think you're a special case? How cute." She snickered, and you couldn't help but feel somewhat pleased with that response after how much you two had been annoying each other for the past month.

"What do you think, should I consider dating you? It seems like you're interested, isn't that why you keep sticking around?" She asked, looking at you, knowing very well what kind of effect her words were gonna have on you.

"Me? Interested? You're the one finding excuses to talk to me every day, even if it's just another argument!" You shook your head and looked down, trying to hide that your smirk turns into a honest smile.

You felt Ellie's eyes studying your face as you tried to hide your genuine happiness, you tried to play it off, but you knew that it wasn't working in your favor. You couldn't even deny it, because it was true, you were interested in Ellie. Maybe not at first, but after spending time together, you grew to like her, her arrogance, her wit, the snarky smile on her face... and her eyes.

"Oh, so you do care!" She quickly cut in, sensing your weakness as your smile grew.

"Come on, don't tell me you've been enjoying this little game of ours, haven't you? Don't you look forward to it every day? Don't you love the adrenaline that kicks in when you're about to say something that's bound to start an argument?" She asked, taking a step closer to you and lowering her voice.

You could almost see the sparks fly as the two of you stared at each other, both feeling the tension in the air. You were almost tempted to take her up on the offer, but your pride got the best of you.

"You're just full of yourself, aren't you? Thinking everybody craves that attention." You said after taking a deep breath.

Ellie just smiled and walked straight to you, getting up close and personal.

"Well, I know you want it. So stop putting up a facade and admit it."

"I'm not like these sluts you fuck, Williams." You said, trying to keep your voice steady and calm.

Ellie just smirked in response. "You're right, you're not like them. You're better than them. And maybe you are a little special, considering how much you manage to piss me off everyday." She took a step back and looked you up and down. "I kinda like it." She said, and you couldn't help but feel your heart rate go up a little when she said that.

You just stared back at Ellie, not really sure what else to say in this situation. Both of your egos were too big to give the other one satisfaction, and neither would be making the first move.

She finally spoke up; "Your turn to be honest now. Admit you're into me."

She was awfully close to you now, daring you to say something.

"Don't push it, Ellie." You told her confidently, and even though you really wanted to say it, your pride was holding you back from admitting it.

Ellie just smirked and moved even closer to you, until her face was just an inch away from yours. "Say it." She whispered.

You felt your heart pounding faster as you just looked at her, not able to break her stare.

You shook your head. "No way."

She just chuckled at your response. "I knew you'd say that. And now, I'm gonna make you say it yourself."

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Ellie pulled you close, just enough to make your lips meet. You just stood there, completely stunned by how bold she was, but at the same time, the feeling of her lips against yours was so new and so good as well. You hadn't felt this type of rush before, and you didn't want it to end.

You couldn't stop yourself from letting out a gasp followed by a moan into the kiss, which made her even bolder.

"I'll show you how lucky those so-called by you sluts are." She whispered after pulling away from you, but not for long.

While Ellie's mouth aggresively covered yours, you felt her slowly pushing you towards the bed.

You were barely able to think now, as your adrenaline was pumping through your whole body. Your back hit the mattress, and Ellie continued to push you down as she climbed up onto the bed on top of you.

That's when it hit you.

You realized that your little feud with Ellie wasn't going to end after all, except this time you weren't fighting her.

Instead, you were just enjoying the moment with someone you could almost call a friend.

It felt like there was nothing else in the universe, just a rush of new sensations that you didn't want to end.

Ellie was the one in control now, as you felt her body pressing up against you, her lips pressing against yours, her hands moving around your body without hesitation. You weren't even thinking straight anymore, you just let her embrace you, letting her take control entirely.

You felt her break the kiss for a moment, just to whisper something in your ear. "Say it."

You knew what she wanted you to say, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so.

Before you could answer, you felt her slowly undressing you. Her lips were tracing paths along your throat, not letting you let out a logical word from it - only little whimpers.

You felt every curve of her body as you felt her lips against your neck, every touch sending chills down your spine.

When you felt her hands move towards your pants, you felt your body respond in the only way you could.

You couldn't think of anything else but her embrace, her warm breath against your neck, and your body slowly being freed from clothing.

Ellie knew exactly how to push your buttons.

Before you could catch your breath, you were left shaking, as her hand slipped into your underwear, which was soon on the floor too. She was teasing your clit in almost painful slow way, watching you squirm.

"Speak up, babe." She whispered mockingly.

But you couldn't. Not because you didn't want, or because your ego didn't let you - you just couldn't. You even asked yourself 'What does this girl wants from me?' as you already forgotten her previous wish. You just weren't thinking straight.

"Come on, do this for me." She kept looking at you with overdramatic concern. You saw her fastening her belt and sliding of her jeans, revealing an obviously-way-too-big strap, which purple color didn't surprise you at all as you imagined it the same way in your dreams.

When you finally came back to your senses, you constructed a whole full sentence answer. But as soon as she saw you opening your mouth to speak up, she slid a few inches of her toy into your soaking cunt. Your planned reply quickly got replaced with another gasp.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" She smirked, her hips started thrusting. She had some sympathy for you, so she didn't make it too painful, but she wasn't also so merciful.

You cried out, at first clenching your thighs from surprise, but she was too strong for you to actually succeed.

You leaned your head back against the pillow, squeezing your eyes shut causing a few of your pathetic tears soak into the sheets.

She held your hips, so she won't miss your sensitive spot, but her grip was so hard you swore you can already see the bruises creating right beneath her fingers.

"Honestly, I'm really happy it ended like that. You have no idea how often I'd imagine you instead of some random girl. But it's good to have you really there." She chuckled, not slowing down but not speeding up either.

Your eyes opened wide at this confession. Before today, the nicest thing she said to you was 'what's wrong?', even though it was in an obviously mocking way. And know it turns out she liked you for a long time. Just like you liked her.

"W...Wh- What?" You managed to stutter out, leaning on your elbows to look at her before your vision turned blurry again so you fell back on the pillow.

"You didn't know?" She laughed. "I mean, you were always oblivious, so I shouldn't be shocked but... I thought it was clear." She was speaking slower than usual as every single word coming from her mouth was synced with the moves of her hips. While saying this simple thing, she pushed her strap into you at least twenty times. And she wasn't taking her time, oh, no. She was fast and rough, like you're just a sex toy without feelings. Did you mind? Hmmm...

When you started getting used to the size of her cock and your mind wasn't completely blank anymore, you remembered one important thing your PE teacher said. 'Someone will check in on you from time to time, so don't even think about anything.' None of you were either at the gym or putting up flyers around school. They're going to think you ditched it. Even though you'd rather get into more trouble than end whatever you were doing now, you felt you need to tell Ellie, just in case.

"El-s..." You moaned out and quickly realised it won't be easy.

"What is it?" She asked, seeming honestly interested in what you got to say. "Ready to admit you're absolutely obsessed with me?"

You clenched your fists, squeezing the bed sheets between your fingers.

"Th- no... We should..." You couldn't help but cry out again.

As soon as she heard the two keywords - 'we should' (and she hated when someone was telling her what to do, so that pissed her off) - she understood what you're trying to say.

"Behave? Fulfill our duties? Or...?" She chuckled.

You wanted to speak up, just to not feel so vulnerable as you really were. You only managed to mumble 'we' before one of her hands started rubbing your clit, just like at the start - painfully slow. The feeling made your thighs tense and move closer to each other, wanting to close the gap between them. But Ellie didn't let that happen as she quickly separated your legs.

Her hips also didn't stop moving, and all the sensations connected made you go silent again. Well, not silent - unable to speak. And that were two completely different things.

"I'd take that as a 'we should continue what we're doing right now'. Isn't that what you want?" Even though you're eyes were closed, you could feel her intense stare on you. Then, her mocking tone came back. "What is it with you being so quiet all of sudden? You spent a few of the past years yelling at me, and you can't even say a word now?"

"I ju-st..." You said but then she hit your g spot again, and again, and again... making you go silent.

Your stomach started feeling funny - probably because of how deep in it Ellie's strap was. At this point, you thought you can even feel it in your throat and that's what's blocking your words from coming out. But the funny feeling had a different origin - your release was getting awfully close, and it didn't go unnoticed.

"We're going to have lots of fun this month." She whispered, leaning in to stroke your cheek.

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ghoulfuckersincorporated · 2 months ago

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I really don't think there's enough fics involving butt stuff with The Ghoul. He defo strikes me as the type who fingers your asshole while fucking you from behind just to watch you squirm. It's like a dominance thing for him when you've been disobedient, but you'll never admit how much you love being his submissive little slut. Are readers and writers just not into it? Or have I just been looking in the wrong places?

To comment: from what I've seen in the years I've been consuming and writing erotic fan content, stuff that involves anal does, in fact, seem to be weirdly polarizing (depending entirely on the writer and the audience you're publishing to, of course). I'm not entirely sure whether that's due to writers' own personal taste, audience preference, stigma...a combination of factors? It's definitely a phenomenon I've noticed. I also wonder if there isn't just a contingent of folks who have no experience with anal and therefore no interest in it.

Personally, I try to incorporate lots of different tastes and "moves" into my work, and I think the people that subscribe to this blog have come to expect that. Butt stuff is nowhere near the most potentially scarring thing I've exposed y'all to, and will continue to not be. :)

However, at the same time, when I feature actual anal sex in any of my stuff, I try to be at least somewhat tactful and depict is as a realistic sex act, which can be kind of a task sometimes when you're trying to be both erotic and not completely impossible. Poorly written anal scenes both aren't hot and kinda ruin the vibe of the entire work, in my opinion. I think there's a difference between "suspension of reality for sexual fantasy" and "spreading bad sex ed information through fiction". There's certainly a place for pain play/painal type stuff, but there's also a place for the complete opposite. It's a bit intimidating for me when I write it sometimes; maybe some others feel the same, so they don't write it as often compared to other things? Complete conjecture.

To answer your actual ask:

You're absolutely right. That motherfucker absolutely loves making you squirm by giving you pleasure in ways that gross you out. He sees a sliver of his old self in you, himself when he was new to this ghastly world, when he clung desperately to anything that would give him a sense of normalcy. In this, there's a sick thrill for him; he gets to be the one to show you how things really work, his sheltered little vaultie. The world out here is even meaner and more disgusting than you could ever imagine.

He'll prove it.

You aren't inexperienced, but pretty much all of the experience you do have is vanilla, very straightforward sex. Exploration on this topic isn't exactly at the forefront of your mind, either, what with how much of an adjustment period you're having to go through after leaving home for the first time in your life. The stress of it all is what initially drives you into his arms, seeking any form of real comfort you can find from the only companion you have.

The sex is a good stress reliever when he isn't springing things on you. He is rather good for such a hot-and-cold old prick, and he clearly knows it by his demeanor; the way he preens over your crumpled form after he makes you cum so hard you forget how to speak is infuriating. You like fucking him, but you can't let him know just how much. He'd be genuinely insufferable if he found out.

Whether it's your reserved reactions to his obvious smugness, or something else internal, you're unsure, but he quickly begins to push your buttons for bigger and bigger returns. Most of the tricks he pulls you enjoy the feeling of, but the way he watches you to gauge your reaction makes it feel like he's winning, somehow, and it doesn't sit right with you. Doubling down your efforts, you try your hardest to be unshakable.

Unfortunately, the first time he slides his tongue down to tease at your asshole while he's eating you out makes you fold completely.

"That's disgusting!" you huff, wriggling beneath him. Telling him to stop doesn't follow like you want it to; the words get caught in your throat as he pushes the tip of the wriggling muscle into you, his other hand playing softly with your clit as your aching pussy throbs.

"Had my tongue much worse places, believe me." he replies, his eyes burning up at you from between your legs. It's so embarrassing.

However, the next time he's helping you out, before you even realize it, your hips are moving in a pronounced arc, trying your best to will him to slide his tongue further down without having to suffer the indignity of asking for it, of him knowing he's gotten this over on you. It feels amazing and you refuse to beg. Fortunately, he doesn't make you...this time.

When he's finished with you, he doesn't immediately pull away, both of you lying together in a spent puddle of limbs for a breathless moment.

"It's still gross, you know." you say, flat and halfhearted in exhaustion.

"Oh, shut the fuck up." he grunts back, eyes rolling as he pulls himself into an upright sitting position. "I didn't see you whining when you were tryin' to crush my head with your thighs, princess."

"I can't help it! It tickles when you do that!" you argue, indignant and searing hot in the face.

"Oh yeah, kid. I bet it tickles real good. That why you came so hard?" he smirks, leaning back so he can right his clothing, his eyes never leaving yours. You pull yourself up and storm off to the other side of the room to redress, annoyed.

And yes, probably his favorite overall move is to sneak one of his fingers or his thumb into your ass while he fucks you from behind; the shock in your posture, in your voice, along with the tight, hot feeling of your little hole (holes) around him...it's probably for the best that he can't see your face, no matter how badly he wishes he could. He knows he'd cum instantly.

As for you, the feeling is infuriatingly electrifying, right on the line between pleasure and discomfort. His long, nimble digit isn't even all the way inside you, only sunk to just above the second knuckle, but he's quickly working it further and further in, the rest of his hand curling to cup the roundness of your cheek as he supports your hips. The stretch isn't too intrusive, but his skin is so rough in texture that it makes you squirm as he presses on, spit and your other body fluids the only lubrication you're given.

"Fuck, be careful!" you hiss. His only response is a harsh swat to your bare ass with his unoccupied hand, which draws a yelp from your parched throat as he yanks you back even more firmly by the leverage he now has. Your hands scramble for purchase across the sandy desert floor, unable to hold yourself up properly as he hammers away at you with an almost possessed vigor. Quickly, your head falls further down with the force of his movements, sending you sliding forward a few inches.

He doesn't like that.

"Don't fuckin' run from me." he growls, the hand that isn't spearing you wrapping quickly around your shoulder to yank you back again. His hips snap into yours viciously, the pace increasing as he loses his grip on whatever remaining self-control he has. Your battered cunt clenches hard around him at the feeling, at his words, and soon you're both howling out your release as he digs his nails into your thighs, rutting you so hard you fully face-plant into the ground. When it's over, he at least has the courtesy to make sure you didn't bump your head too hard. He does not, however, apologize for the massive bruise on your ass from where he struck you more than once. Typical.

Eventually, you allow him enough control to restrain you, which you know is almost certainly a mistake. However, by now you're addicted to the feeling he gives you when he takes over, when he pushes your boundaries and uses you to sate whatever passion burns inside him. Besides, he's protected and saved you enough times by now to have earned your trust, even if you know that he'll sometimes use it against you for devious reasons.

The rope he always carries doesn't hurt against your skin like you'd feared it would, but he's also quite delicate in how he secures your arms and legs, each limb immobilized and leaving you on your back, completely at his mercy. He spends forever teasing you, worshiping every part of you with his mouth and hands until you're begging, begging for release, begging for him to stretch you.

"It's alright. I'll take care of you." he promises, the tone he uses with you now so much softer than when you met. You feel relief at his words, ready to feel your aching cunt wrap around him, but he doesn't move to expose himself. Instead, he produces a small bottle of what you quickly discover is some sort of neutral oil, which he applies liberally. The feeling of the cool, thin substance running down your folds makes you shiver in the best way, but you're tense when his teasing fingers move from your clit, prodding at your taut ass.

Slowly, he works his middle finger inside you, the sensation more pleasant now that you've become accustomed to it. After a minute or two, he's moving it back and forth freely, adding another dribble of oil before setting the bottle aside, placing his free fingers on your clit. The way he rubs at you as he fucks you with his other hand makes your toes curl, and you get lost in the sensation until you feel his index finger start to prod at you, as well.

"You trust me?" he asks. Your eyes dropping closed, you nod silently.

He's incredibly gentle as he works the second finger in alongside the first, stretching you further than ever before and making your mouth fall open in a silent groan. He watches your face, your body language, closely, trying his best to stay calm and steady as he begins to move his hand once more, the other never stilling on your clit.

The sensation is incredibly overwhelming, a fullness you've never felt before, especially when he eventually adds a third finger. Your body is lit up with sensation and twitching eagerly the entire time, both wanting to pull off of his hand and to plunge yourself down further. When he leans down and seals his lips around your clit, you scream out an orgasm that leaves you trembling against your restraints, which he actually lets you out of before fucking you so hard you literally cannot stand immediately afterwards.

"You're so mean to me, you know. I don't want to like this stuff." you sigh, mostly joking.

"Don't worry, I'll have you begging for my cock in your ass soon." he promises, that wicked glint back in his eye that makes you nervous.

You hide your burning face in his throat as he chuckles at you, the sound of him lighting a cigarette snapping through the air, his other arm wrapped around your waist as you lean against him. Biting your tongue, you hold back the urge to snarkily respond to him.

You know he's right. It's only a matter of time.

#filth for sunday #please enjoy #also: very fitting pfp soldier #cooper howard #the ghoul #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #cooper howard smut #the ghoul smut #the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv show #fallout prime #submission

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writingquestionsanswered · 7 months ago

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I was wondering, why does it feel like I can't write good original fiction or original characters, but my fanfiction is great (imo anyway, which I never feel for my original fiction)? In some senses, I get it, like I feel I really know the characters in other people's fiction after seeing them through their story, but like....ugh. It's really frustrating. Do I just not understand how to develop an original character? Am I overcomplicating things?

Fan-Fiction: Struggling with Writing Original Fiction Characters

All of the above... ♥

So, yes, you're probably overcomplicating things a bit, but also it actually is hard for a lot of writers to make the switch between writing canon characters and developing their own original characters. In other words, what you're experiencing isn't unusual and it's absolutely surmountable. :)

One of the things I love about fan-fiction for newer writers is it allows you to focus fully on the mechanics of writing without having to divert effort toward things like world building and character development. The problem with that, though, is once you make the switch from writing fan-fiction to writing original fiction, you might find that your world building and character development skills are lagging behind. It sounds like this might be the situation in your case.

This is why I think it's a great idea to experiment with writing OCs, or in other words "original characters" as part of your fan-fiction. You don't even have to post these stories if you don't want to--write them for yourself, for practice. But, creating an original character to join your favorite canon characters is a great way to get practice in character creation and development while still within the comfy zone of your fan-fiction. Just by virtue of having to exist in the canon world, you have a little bit of a template to follow as far as who this character can be and what they can do. But, you have some freedom with things like back story, internal conflict, and character arc. Writing OCs in fan-fiction helps you hone those skills and learn to create characters you love without tossing yourself into the deep end.

And, if you need practice with setting development/world building, you can do that within fan-fiction, too. Try moving the canon characters into a new time, world, or situation. For example, what if the characters of The Hunger Games were survivors of a modern day shipwreck in the South Pacific? Or, what if the characters from ACOTAR lived in a Dune-like world, with different planets and starships and great houses? In this scenario, you can focus more on world building and plot without having to worry as much about character design and development.

So... no matter what, the reality is you'll just have to be patient with yourself. Whether you choose to hone your character development skills through writing fan-fiction OCs, or whether you keep at it with original fiction characters, it's going to take some time for you to develop those skills. It will be frustrating because you'll know that these characters aren't hitting the mark you want them to, but that's also good, because knowing they're falling short means you can try to figure out why and what you can do to fix it.

And, if you need additional help, you can always visit my Character Development master list of posts.

I hope that helps!

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kierongillen · 9 months ago

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i have to know - as a disco elysium fan who didnt do disco, what would you say is essential disco listening for me?

I'm hugely behind on the asks, but I have to answer this one, because I'm going to answer a connected but completely different question, and then maybe then loop back to you. I'm just looking for an excuse to ramble, and do the writer equivalent of a warm-up sketch (i.e. waste time).

My apologies.

If you wake up and decide that you want to get into a whole genre of music, there's basically two tactics.

(There's also the "Why would anyone care to get into something they don't care about", which is one of the few things I have a "There's two sorts of people..." response to - those who when presented by something unknown either think "why should I know about that?" or "why don't I know about that?" I'm the latter, and it's served me well.)

The first tactic is simple.

Jump on a genre with Best Of in the title and follow your pleasure response. Here's a Spotify one. What interests you? What excited you? What makes you laugh? Probably explore more of that. If not, indulge widely, and see what sticks. At a glance, Disco playlists seem to have the problem of most playlists, in that strictly not everything on it is disco per se. For example, Dancing Queen strictly speaking isn't a disco song - but it's a song about disco, in every way. But if anything has found its way on a playlist, it's found its way on for a reason.

In your case, you're interested in what Disco resonates with Disco Elysium. Which I've bought for C, but not played, but I'm aware of in a "if I was still a games journalist, this is clearly one I would write a lot about." I spent years writing about Planescape Torment, and I know a spiritual successor when I see one.

This makes me think the area you want is basically the classier end - the big bleak emotions, the chilliness, the control, lonely on a dancefloor, lonely everywhere, oh-so-much cocaine, and - to steal Paul Lester's line - glass mountains on fire.

Which leads back to the second way of getting into a genre of music - which is to hit a major artist, and hit them hard.

When asked about "how shall I get into a band" my advice is actually the opposite of what I'm about to give. If you just want to get into a band, get Best Of, see what tracks you like, then go to the albums they're from. But if you're trying to get into a whole genre of music, that's a more serious endeavour, and may reward the opposite approach.

Basically pick a key album from a key band, and get into it, and grow from there. Read about the band - you don't need much, but a little helps. Learn how to listen to what their tracks do. And then you use that band as the single point of knowledge you have to orientate yourself to everything else you listen afterwarads.

There's a huge danger to this - basically, no-one is more ignorant than someone with a little knowledge. You have to be aware that you are the person who knows a bit about Boss Baby, and using that to get into things other than Boss Baby.

The strength is that it's a more holistic, lived in knowledge than just skimming the surface. You understand the music better as an artifact of their times, made by people, responding to their specific situation - which adds different flavours to your appreciation of it. Sure, your own response and how it finds a place in your life is always the thing which over-rules anything else - but the more you can listen for, the more you can hear, the more you can get from a work of art.

Anyway - I'm telling you to go and listen to Risque by Chic.

Chic are basically fucking awesome. If you don't know Disco at all, the opening Good Times chilly ironic take on American late-seventies culture is a great and (I suspect) Disco Elysium relevant intro. You'll know it as a sample, if nothing else, and the eight minutes version that opens Risque is a great way to think about it as both music for dancing (it is endless) and music for listening (it is boundless).

I got Risque as Paul Lester went to bat for it so hard in the Unknown Pleasures book the Maker stuck on the cover in 1995 (it was covering 20 albums that had fell out of the critical conversation, and it absolutely changed the dirction of my listening in the period). Here's Lester writing about Risque more recently for a taste, as the original piece doesn't appear to be online. I just read it in my copy, and it's a burst of love, describing it Disco as music about love - never sex, only love, and mainly love that is denied. That seems solid, at least for the best of chic.

Risque is the Chic album that Lloyd from Phonogram would have been listening to, certainly. I know I did.

(Plus At Last I Am Free from C'est Chic, obv)

There's a lot of Chic to listen to - their own work, especially in the period, and all their productions. Their work with Sister Sledge is of particular import - Lost In Music was one of the working title for Phonogram, and you can see and hear why. They're also the Disco band whose influence is perhaps most obvious in other bands. Everyone liked Chic. No Chic, no Orange Juice, no Orange Juice, no Smiths, etc.

Sister Sledge was the first live band I was at. My mum went to see them when she was eight and a half months pregnant. The temptration to say I'd have heard Lost in Music then and sold is tempting, but ahistorical - it's well before their work with Chic.

Anyway - get into Chic. It'll make your life better - and when your life isn't better, it's a superior context to lose yourself.

However, to go back to your question, as a Disco Elysium fan, I'm not sure it's actually THIS Disco you're looking for.

How about Disco Inferno?

Not Disco at all, but most like itself than anything else, which sounds like what I understand about Disco Elysium. right?

(DI Goes Pop is the starting place)

#Chic #Disco #disco elysium

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crazyfor-toby · 1 year ago

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hi!! First of all happy belated birthday no idea when you’ll see this but 🥳 I just wanted to see if you could just do some general kinda fluff for Toby and any other of your choosing during like the crush stage

also you are an amazing writer and incredibly creative whoever the douchebag who stood you up is doesn’t deserve you so get yourself a better man bc if anyone deserves it it’s you<3

so yeah that’s the end of my little rant and feel free to just ignore this ask, put yourself first!

-A ❤️

Summary :: Toby during the crush stage

Notes :: thank you so much!🤭 You are too sweet! btw I didn't know which Toby you wanted so I js did High school Toby but I can always change it if you want and make another one for him💟 I'm prob going to add Jeff later but I js wanted to get this out as soon as possible

Warnings :: none that I can think of except for the usual cursing

Readers gender :: None assigned, gender neutral

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This guy is so fucking mean for no reason but hates whenever anyone else is mean to you

He bullies you because he doesn't know how to respond to his own emotions and he has absolutely 0 experience. Plus, he thinks you're only talking to him to mess with him at first

I can see him falling for someone because they were nice to him or because he found them physically attractive as bad as it may sound to some people. But, he does know when someone is only being nice because they feel bad or they are just trying to mess with his feelings he just wants to be treated like a normal human being not get made fun of or have people be overly nice to him because of his disorders but we can get more into those emotions another time.

Even though he can most of the time tell the difference between genuine kindness and people feeling bad, sometimes he may think that people are messing with him when they actually are being genuinely nice because he overthinks everything and lets his bad thoughts take over a lot of the time.

Would definitely zone out while staring at you as he bites his nails and hands... Gets so many side eyes and weird stares because of it too

thinks about you 24/7 to the point it affects his daily life and his mother and sister get worried

He would probably mistake his romantic feelings for platonic at first but when he realizes the only thing that changes is how mean he is to you and I don't mean he gets nicer 😃 your #1 hater and #1 supporter

He's honestly confusing, one minute he'll be thinking you hate him and he doesn't have a chance to thinking he does have a chance and that you have the same feelings for him as he does for you.

Meaning that there's like a 30% he will make a first move on you because you have to catch him in the right mood, at the right time, on the right day which is pretty hard because you'll never know what mood he'll be in and he

He literally just acts like he hates you and if you asked him out or made a move he'd turn it down but then out of no where months later he will ask you out

he's honestly such an attention whore and he only craves your attention now so good luck

the only time he can really talk to you in person outside of school is if you happen to be friends with his sister or you guys meet up somewhere like a park or a cafe which isn't that often because of his parents so he makes up for it by texting you all day

Reminder though that he isn't some soft and shy bundle of joy who is just hurt, he is crazy and is slowly going under the control of Slenderman. He can have major mood swings and will most likely make you end up not liking him for the way he treats you at first, he doesn't mean it tho he's just a lil delulu 😊

Overall, your experience is gonna be a rough 5/10 unless you don't mind his harsh words then it'd be like a 6.5 - 7.5

#creepypasta #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers creepypasta #ticci toby creepypasta #highschool Toby Rogers #ticcy toby #creepypasta toby #toby x reader #toby rogers x reader #ticci toby headcanons #toby rogers #ticci toby x you #toby rogers x you #tobias erin rogers #toby erin rogers #tobias rogers

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gomzdrawfr · 19 days ago

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want to join the fandom cause it seems fun seeing fanarts and you and others interacting but I don't know how...and with the whole ai thing im scared...

my advice: just do it

really! sometimes all you really need is a leap of faith, and that was exactly how I dropped into the cod fandom. When I joined the ghoap discord server I talked to one of the artist I really like and respected from my lurking time (hi @bressynonym) aaaand the rest is history

I didnt know how to draw properly, nor digitally, all I did was scribbling on OneNote (yeah!) and rambled about cod characters, it is daunting and it is scary to interact but after a while? you may just be able to find someone to brainrot together with

start small, like commenting, reblogging, talking, chatting- doesn't have to be towards artist/writers, it could be the art/fic enjoyers!

you need to put yourself out there if you want something

as to if you want to start in the fandom as a creator, here's some more tips (which are all based on my experience, I am no pro at doing this, hell Im still learning myself, and I am by no means speaking these on behalf on others!)

establish a goal: what are you making? fandom based? original creations?

as with starting new, everything may take a while for stuff to happen, you'll feel like you're speaking to the void at times (esp with original arts, but do know that your stuff do get perceive by others as time goes, I would advise to draw fandom stuff as a beginning to get that boost going if you want! or else it's going to be quite hard to get things rolling)

imo this is hardest part of any new creator, you'll have to bear with it and try not to give up (but I understand how incredibly demotivating it could get, there were times when I stopped posting about Raven entirely, but eventually I post it anyway cuz surely someone out there will like them, it just takes a lot of patiences and perseverance)

btw, engagement can also vary from time to time, you may be booming for a bit, then suddenly you dont, it is a cycle that will bound to happen

take rest regularly, and I mean a break from social media because numbers, discourse and everything can get to you, very quickly (I cannot emphasise this enough)

the numbers are not worth it over your mental health (comes with practice to really solidify this thought)

study the algorithm (pain): see what other creators are doing to get where they are, what tags are they using in their post? what features/niche do people like?(this is, if you really want to grab some form of engagement, bcuz reminder in the end you are creating art for yourself first!)

example: I think posts would get more reach if you tag it with the ship name first, followed by the characters' name (doesn't work all the time tho)

that's the thing about algorithm, it is ever-changing, and you'll have to learn to adapt with it when it does!

expanding on that, studying algorithm could be about ships (for example, ghostsoap is most popular in the fandom), or really good rendered art/flashed out fic that leaves your jaw on the floor, or ships that gets lesser attention in general which puts you, who make content about them, easier to be brought into the light (like Faralex)

bUT, it can also be personality!

(again, not saying this is meant for everyone and strictly from my own experience + what I observe) for me, I made up the lack of my art by establishing a personality: a wild panda who yaps about price and their oc and also kinda everywhere in the place (just like this post LOL), OR you're the person who named themselves after Soap's ash particle number OR you're the one who likes bottom Ghost- literally anything goes, you want to make an impression in different ways, some more funny/goofier than others but it works (be mindful and stay respectful tho, dont wanna be the asshole in the fandom now do ya?)

efforts ≠ engagement (not all the time, but most time) and this is a fact. Sometimes, you can't expect a piece you did for 10+ hours to get thousands views and likes, especially in a fandom space. You need to understand algorithm is that wonky. (very disheartening, but again, you make the art for you and the few others who genuinely likes them, and those people can go a long way) be mentally prepared for such events, and try not to beat yourself up too much for it

ultimately tho, do it, do it scared but do it anyways and again, draw the things that bring you joy, I hope these could be helpful in some ways!

#sorry this got longer the more i typed #i met bressy bcuz i love their oc stuff and we just kinda clicked after a while #and then? i met gog and tappy bcuz of our oc interest like holy shit...someone like MY OC??#it is all a process- the bad and good #but you'll never know these processes until you start making a step towards it #anyways sorry for the tag bressy LOL #gummmyspeaks #ask response #thanks for the ask <3 #i should be studying HAHSKJDH

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lalalian · 1 month ago

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helloooo

i’m making my own script (omg power and respect to you this shit is hard) about ruling over a fantasy kingdom, sorta like game of thrones inspired

my kingdom is VERY loosely based off of like… lyanna mormont’s house mormont in bear island (please look her up she’s kinda badass imo) and like….. do you have any tips on how to script your own kingdom? and all the neighbouring kingdoms and building world lore and all that stuff

any tips at all would help me immensely i’m struggling over here (literally how do you do it you’ve got the alruna dr AND the aethergarde dr with shit tons of lore my god that’s a feat to come up with, props to you)

thank very much, a struggling scripter

hihi!

First thing you should consider is your starting point. Your starting point can be something you're most interested (this is what I did with Aethergarde) or you can start with the general idea of your kingdom/world.

I know that most people recommend writers to start from the outside in, like the world itself-- or the inside in, which would be building the main cast first.

But if you start from the technical stuff first, it’s really easy to lose motivation! Scripts and books are different; essentially, writing tips shouldn’t be completely synonymous with script writing tips!

the problem with using general writing tips for scripts

Okay so there isn't actually a problem with it, per se, but you will get stuck for a long time on things that don't matter; you'll never end up scripting stuff that do matter.

What doesn't matter?

I know that i scripted some of these in my aethergarde academy DR, but exports and imports, extreme detail with the languages in your DR, and extremely minor conflicts that wouldn't really affect your experience in your DR.

(In my defense, I have the main stuff already written down 😒😒)

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't script these things at all, but just know that it's more optional than other things.

Script the less important stuff once you got the important stuff done!

Think about your experience first, then script the things that matter less if you'd like to.

Does knowing what kinds of plants grow in the southern part of your kingdom matter as much as your friends, your DRself, and the DR time line (plot)? Most shifters are less inclined to shift with an incomplete script, especially if the script doesn't even have anything about you or your experience in it. But if the vast majority of what you want to experience is down already, you'd be more motivated to shift there instead of still painstakingly working on that script.

When you settle down to shift there, you're less likely to wrangle with thoughts like "Oh but I haven't scripted this or that..." if the main shit is done.

How much time is in-between events?

Novels typically don't focus on how often an event happens, but with shifting, please for the love of god give yourself some time between particularly stressful events.

Trust me, your life will still feel as action-packed as it does here.

You don't have to script "2 weeks after X, this happens, and then 5 weeks after XX..." especially if you plan to remember the plot. If you happen to recall how long your breaks are, it'll make you unnecessarily antsy on the day it happens.

YOU WILL BURN OUT before EVER getting to the things that matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your DR isn't a book; you don't need to convey a fully fleshed out world to your 'readers'-- the only reader of your novel is you.

Subconsciously, you know what you want the world to be like, you just haven't put it into words.

Again, it would be disappointing to burn out and discard a script before you even get to your DRself.

Always remember that the end goal is to shift there.

Never forget that this is a DR-- A place you can go to. Stop scripting somewhere. You have the knowledge of shifting, so use it! Sure, writing what you want is fun, but isn't doing what you want even more fun?

Find a stopping point or else you'll be working on that script forever, and you'll never shift.

SCRIPT THAT YOUR WORLD HAS PLUMBING SYSTEMS/SOME TYPE OF SYSTEM THAT ALLOWS ITS PEOPLE TO KEEP THEMSELVES CLEAN

Never ever EVER forget this. I nearly did with Aethergarde-- I added this affirmation last month to my script. I know that your subconscious knows what you want, but I think I'd cry if I was prompted to shit in a hole without toilet paper. No. Absolutely not. Even if there’s a slim chance of shifting to a world like that… I would rather not want to worry about that stuff 😭😭😭😭

Oh and if you plan to have kids, I recommend adding this affirmation to your script (this is directly copy and pasted from my aethergarde script)

There is significant studies in childbirth, at least as much as my OR, because of this, mothers typically do not die from childbirth and childbirth isn’t painful because of a similar medicine to an epidural… and of course, proper birthing practices

So... why not using writing tips?

We aren't full on authors, not all of us have the grit to write a full on book, and you won't know that until you do. Again, you're going to burn out sooner than you think.

Writing takes time, a LOT of time, but luckily for you, there's so much stuff you can skip. Don't make things so hard on yourself!!

Script you don't remember the plot

It'd be a lot more fun if you didn't remember everything; you'd get to experience everything authentically like everyone else in your DR will!

Ok now onto the actual world building tips….

I’m assuming you’re starting off your script with your kingdom; so I’ll start here for this post!

What kind of fantasy is your world?

Is it high fantasy, low fantasy, or historical fantasy? (I made that last one up, but like I’ll get to it soon, ok?)

High fantasy is set in a world totally different than ours. Some examples would be Avatar (the blue ppl one, not the anime) and Aethergarde Academy.

Low fantasy is set in a world much like our modern world, but there are some fantastical elements in it. A very famous example of this is Harry Potter.

I would define historical fantasy to be a world that is set sometime in the past (usually the Victorian era or medieval era), but it has fantastical elements (any Isekai otome manhwa with magic in it would fall in this category). I think house of dragons fall here too, though I’ve only watched like 4 episodes so far.

If you’re looking into making a futuristic DR, genres like steampunk, solarpunk, sci-fi, cyberpunk, cyberprep would prob suit your vibes more, but I won’t get into those today.

That narrows your DR down to historical fantasy!

Names

This is the worst part of scripting (actually this is the second worst part, government is the ABSOLUTE WORST).

Idk abt you or anyone else reading this, but I’m extremely picky with names. A name has to fit, yk, so don’t fret if you take a long time to find names.

First, start off with name generators.

This generator is PEAK, it has name generators for literally everything. But, personally, the kingdom names never really resonate with me. I typically use Pinterest or look at the names based on ethnicities to come up with names for my kingdoms & empires.

If you’re as picky as me, I wouldn’t recommend using ChatGPT to get names. The free version I use has such cheesy names, I’ll ask it for mysterious and dark guy names for books, and it’ll give me shit like ‘Lucifer Blackthorn’… like really… really…

Sometimes it has given me good names tho, I’d say the academia based names are pretty okay (Straus’ last name was from ChatGPT).

Another thing you could do is find a modern name you like and mix up the spelling a bit; I do this really often with character names.

Ex:

Lily > Liliya

Alexander > Alec, Xander, Xavie, or Xavier

Alfred > Alund

Callie > Caelye

Final resort for me is Google translate. I suggest translating random words that pertain to your kingdom into Greek or Latin (especially Latin), then taking pieces of those words and smushing them together.

Government

If you’re going to use ChatGPT for anything, I’d use it to make the government for your DR.

If you don’t want to use AI, I’d start researching government stuff, or go with the standard nobility/monarch format.

Languages

Remember, it’s best to script language stuff after everything major is done.

When you get to language stuff, I honestly just recommend describing it + making up some words in that language rather than going into extreme detail.

ChatGPT is a good option for this too; when I asked abt language, reya’s response had stuff like: Alphabet, Phonology, Script Design, Word Order, Morphology, Vocabulary, Tones and Aesthetics (sound + visual), & Cultural Context. Personally, I just say shit like ‘[insert language] has a [characteristic] and [characteristic] tone like [insert language here]’ or I say it’s a mix between a few languages. I really like Welsh for some reason, so noble language in my Aethergarde DR has the same kind of sound welsh does.

Here are some characteristics I’d give some languages, you can base your characteristics for your languages from this if you’d like:

The channel Wikitongues has a lot of ppl just speaking their language!

Smooth: Korean, Welsh, German

Regal: Welsh, Tibetan, Hindi, Hmong, Yoruba

Nasally: Japanese, Thai

Harsh: Russian, French, Cantonese

Round: (American) English

Sing song-y: Valspeak/ Valley girl accent (English), Hmong, Kazakh, Italian

Sharp: Russian

Throaty: Swedish,

Assertive/Strong: Spanish (Spaniard) (DON'T KILL ME, MY DAD IS FROM BOTH SPAIN AND MEXICO), Okinawan (Japanese, but it’s so distinct from other Japanese dialects)

Breathy: Navajo

Quick: Khmer

Social Hierarchy

(this is a good website that explains the power each title has, but the actual product is like... kinda a scam, don't buy from them)

Personally, I'd just go with the whole baron to emperor thing, though you can also just switch up the names of the titles and have the same kind of idea.

For reference, this is (to my knowledge) the aristocrat social status hierarchy (using all male terms):

MOST POWER

Emperor (leader of the empire)

King (leader of a kingdom)

Archduke

Duke

Marquess

Count/Earl

Viscount

Baron

Commoner (not a noble)

LEAST POWER

Map

If you really want to start with the world itself, I highly suggest making a map. I made mine on inkarnate!

You don't have pay to make a good map, just use canva or some sort of drawing app to make labels and border lines.

General Ideas

Do you like to read? If not, find photos that would reflect the architecture or scenarios that you'd see in your DR.

Reading can help you get some sort of idea on what you want from this DR!

conclusion?

Was this helpful? I'm not sure 😭😭 I'm super tired rn, so if there's any typos, I'm sorry.. try to ignore them; feel free to ask for clarification!

#shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting community #shifting blog #lalalian #desired reality #shifters #shifting diary #shifttok #scripting

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syn4k · 8 months ago

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🌿

unfortunately the only way to solve not wanting to create things is to not create things until you want to create things again.

"but Six!" i hear you protest over the angry yells of all my followers. "that can't be true! i hate that!"

i hate it too. But listen up you self loathing chucklefucks this is IMPORTANT.

if your brain and body is telling you that you are tired and that you need to take a break, fucking listen to them. Do not ignore them and continue making things anyways.

I do not give a fuck about your making one thing per day streak. I do not give a fuck about your follower count or engagement or statistics or whatever the fuck. I do not fucking care how stubborn you are. This rule is set in the laws of the universe itself just like the laws of physics are.

If you do not schedule time for yourself to recharge, your body will automatically do it for you and it WILL NOT ASK POLITELY.

that's what burnout and writer's block IS! you cant make shit if you're too fucking tired and depressed and busy trying to function as a person and don't have any energy left over for creative work! creating things takes ENERGY and EFFORT even the most self loathing low quality shitpost stick figure youve ever doodled on the back of an napkin. That takes effort too. This is your body realizing that you're going past your own limits despite everything and forcibly shutting you down so that you physically fucking cannot anymore for your own health.

Full stop.

If you take the time that you need to rest and regain energy and use it instead to continue doing things that require energy, your body will force you to allocate that time to rest at some point eventually.

So yeah. Sleep in hard over the weekends. Do nothing. Be unproductive. Fuck capitalism and FUCK the Protestant work ethic. I am being so fucking serious right now. This isn't just me repeating what I've heard, this is me sharing things that I've had to learn the hard way over the span of literal fucking years because my dumb ass kept ignoring it too.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, politely turn down outings with friends and family if you're too tired.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, take a day off from school or work if you wake up and know in your bones that you are too tired. (Make sure to let your teachers know beforehand. They'll understand. Skipping a day of work is a whole nother can of radioactive horses that I don't want to open right now but others here may have advice. Check the notes.)

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, do nothing.

You are allowed to, and encouraged to, be "lazy" (if you're not enjoying the forced time off, you're not being lazy).

If you can only do the bare minimum to take care of yourself (i.e making low-effort meals, only using the bathroom twice a day, etc) then that's okay too. The more you rest, the more energy you'll slowly build up to do more things like going to the grocery store so that you don't starve and getting those assignments done and taking an extra two minutes to make yourself a glass of something warm in the mornings so that you don't want to die quite as much. Also, when you can, ask your friends for a script and call your doctor about prescribing you depression medication because I love you and this is not normal and you deserve better.

Living life is not supposed to make you want to die, and surviving is not the same as living.

your body has a built in hierarchy of needs and at the top of the list is creating things, which you can only do once you're at a certain level of energy and wellness. if something's wrong, your drive to create will be the first to go.

it's scary, but you'll be okay

be gentle and kind to yourself. imagine that your brain and body is a horse: kicking it when it's down and yelling at it to move won't help. you have to meet it where it's at and feed it and comfort it until it's ready to move on again. you can't write trail songs if you've got no path to roam

this quickly spiraled out of my hands but i am very passionate about this subject and also i love u. good luck.

#ray's tag #answered #undescribed #taking care of your horse 101 #important

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teaberrii · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Our Happy Ending

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Chapter notes: Brief smut scene in this chapter

You can’t stop thinking about that kiss.

It’s been a few weeks since Zhongli’s wedding. You and Alhaitham have been casually texting, but neither of you brings up the kiss. It’s as if you’re treading through a grey area. Despite what's happened, your feelings toward Alhaitham haven't changed, but that’s only half the battle.

After Zhongli's wedding, you've been giving this a lot of thought. Throughout all of this, Alhaitham has been on your side. His mother is also taking full responsibility.

But no matter how you look at it, the stigma will always remain.

If you choose to be with Alhaitham, you'll be in a relationship with the son of the woman who left your father to die. That’s a fact that will never change. Can you live with that? You can. You have your reasons, but… What does your mother think about this?

Then, there’s Alhaitham.

Throughout your conversations, he hasn’t pressured or asked you to give him an answer. But you know you can’t leave him hanging for too long.

In addition to all that, today just hasn’t been your day.

You found out that Signora's script got chosen to get the biggest budget of the year. You know you can't win all the time, but it's still not a great feeling. So, even though yours didn't get chosen, you're taking it upon yourself to make changes and submit it again for production. This, of course, is on top of the other responsibilities you're assigned to.

You’re sitting at a desk in the company lounge when you overhear two women sitting at the table in front of yours.

“She was so pretty. They looked like a celebrity couple.”

"Alhaitham is like a celebrity, though." A small laugh. "He should try modelling as a side hustle."

This is something you've been hearing a lot amongst your colleagues. Apparently, Alhaitham has been seen with a “tall, beautiful woman.” It doesn’t take you long to figure out that the woman in question is Layla. While you don’t know the details, you know there’s a business venture happening between the company and hers, which explains why she and Alhaitham have been seen together.

“Hey.” It’s then you notice Childe sitting in front of you. As his mother’s condition has considerably improved, he’s back in Sumeru. “Took you long enough,” he jokes. He takes a peek at your laptop. “Whatcha workin' on?"

"Revisions for my script." You sigh. “Writer's block has never hit so hard,” you say as the women stand up and leave. You close your laptop screen. “It doesn’t help that my team got assigned to other projects. So… I’m pretty much on my own.”

“Well… maybe this will take your mind off things." A small pause. "It's about the curse."

“Did it change?”

Childe nods. “Things have started to improve with my parents, and I noticed that I’m changing a lot later.”

“...I guess our love theory was right."

“You think?" A small pause. "Maybe we’ll find out through you and Alhaitham,” Childe says. Your eyes meet his. “How’re things with him?”

“We’re talking." When you catch a suspicious look in Chlde’s eyes, you say, “Just talking. Nothing else.”

Childe slowly nods. “...Maybe he’s waiting for an answer after everything's over.” He smiles slightly. "Alhaitham's a good guy.” You smile back and nod. Then, he taps your closed laptop. “You said you’re making revisions to your script, right? Why not take inspiration from him?”

Before Childe came along, you have been thinking about how to add an extra… oomph to your story. You feel like something’s missing but you can’t put your finger on it. Childe’s question gets you thinking… Love in the Spotlight had been loosely inspired by your past relationship with Dottore. Who’s to say you can't work that magic again?

Suddenly, it hits you, and you quickly open your laptop. Childe looks from you to your screen as you start typing. Then, he smiles.

“My Boss is My Cat, huh? I like that title.”

You smile back. “You think? I’ll have to rework a lot of it, but… the ideas are already flowing.”

Childe chuckles. “I know it’ll be a hit.”

◆◆◆

It starts as a business meeting but turns a little personal toward the end. Alhaitham and Layla aren’t surprised. They are friends after all.

“By the way… how did the dinner go?” Layla asks.

Ah. Right. His mother had tried to get Layla involved. So, Alhaitham gives her an update but skims the details, only telling her what’s needed to understand the big picture.

“I see… So, you two are still on a break?”

Yes? No? Alhaitham doesn't have a clear answer. There's texting happening, but nothing concrete to show you two are officially together again. Yes, there's the kiss, but that happened because of an emotional high. It shouldn't be trusted... even though it was the best kiss he's ever had.

“We’re talking,” he says.

Layla nods. “Well, I think that's a good sign. I’d usually say why not try to woo her again, but that’d be risky.”

Alhaitham knows you still need space. But, how long can he keep waiting?

“Hey.” Alhaitham looks across the table and sees Layla giving him a small smile. “It’s good you’re thinking about her feelings, but don’t forget to think about yourself.”

Alhaitham’s phone buzzes with a message just as Layla gets a call. She answers hers while he opens the message from Kaveh.

Drinks tonight?

Well, why not?

“I have to run,” Layla says, after getting off her call. “If it’s any reassurance, I know you two will be fine.”

She gives Alhaitham a friendly hug before she leaves. Then, his phone buzzes again.

Should we invite Catnip?

Catnip?

When Alhaitham leaves the restaurant, he gives Kaveh a call.

“‘Sup, Junior?”

“Who are you talking about?”

Kaveh laughs. “Oh, you mean Catnip? I’m talking about Sis, of course. You did say she’s your catnip, didn’t you? I think it’s a cute nickname.” Alhaitham sighs. “...Wait. Have you two not made up yet?”

“There are still things we have to talk about.”

"I think I get it." A small pause. "Is it something like... What's her new stance on your mother? Will she ask you to cut ties with her so you two can be together? Am I right?"

“...It’s not just about my mother. If we date again, I… have no idea what her mother might say.”

“Dude, you’re like the dream son-in-law that every mother wants.” Kaveh sighs. “But, geez. You’re giving this a lot of thought. I get it, though. You’re serious about her.”

“...I always have been.”

Kaveh smiles. “So, let’s get together tonight and take a little breather. You deserve it.”

◆◆◆

Your manager looks at your laptop screen and reads the title.

“My Boss is My Cat. An interesting title.” Then, he looks up at you. “You want to do a rewrite?”

"I know the leadership team has already decided on Signora's script. This is just a personal project I want to send for review and see if I can get it produced."

“You’d be doing a lot of extra work.”

“I understand, but”—you look at your laptop screen—“I really want to see this through.”

Your manager smiles. “Well, who am I to stop you?”

“Really?”

“As long as it doesn’t interfere with your other responsibilities. You get the green light.”

“Thank you!”

Then, you pick up your laptop and hurry out of your manager’s office.

After finishing your work responsibilities for the day, you spend the rest of your time planning and writing this new script which makes you lose track of time.

Before you know it, you're the only one left in the office. You stop typing and stretch just as your phone rings.

“Hey, Mom,” you say.

“Where are you? It’s late!”

You look at the time on your laptop. “Sorry. I got caught up with some things at work.”

“Don’t tell me you’re planning on sleeping over there?” she jokes. “Or… are you going back to your place?”

Despite you and Alhaitham being on friendly terms, you're still staying at your mother's place. You spin your chair around and look out at the beautiful night scenery.

“...Hey, Mom. Can I… ask you something?”

“Of course, honey.”

“...What do you think of me dating Alhaitham?”

A small pause.

"I had a feeling you'd ask eventually," your mother says. "...I want to hear your thoughts. You're asking me this because you want to continue your relationship with him, right?"

“I do.”

You’re a little surprised at how naturally you said it.

“...But, would it be disrespectful to Dad?” you ask quietly. “I’d be dating the son of the woman who really shouldn’t deserve forgiveness.”

“...Under regular circumstances, I would be opposed to it,” your mother says, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I’m not saying this because I’m on his side, but he did do a lot for us. Let me give you an update.”

Then, your mother tells you they've decided to settle this out of court. But that doesn't mean his mother will avoid wrongdoing. She will compensate the full amount and abide by the punishment given to her by law.

“I won’t be able to forgive his mother, but I don't want to harbour any resentment towards her,” your mother finishes. "I am not opposed to you dating him." You feel a weight lift off your shoulders. “It really depends on you.”

“I… guess I’m a little afraid.” Then, you tell her about your nightmares. “I know I shouldn’t care about what other people say. But sometimes… I can’t help but think what they will say about me or Alhaitham if they find out.” You sigh. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly at all, honey. As much as we all say we don’t care about other people’s opinions, we all care to some extent. Some more than others.”

You smile. “But, you know, I just realized something.”

“What’s that?”

“You, Lumine, and Aether are the only opinions I should care about.”

Your mother smiles. “...Perhaps it’s fate that brought you and Alhaitham together, so we can finally have closure.”

The conversation takes a lighter turn when you tell your mother about what you've been working on. Of course, she’s super supportive, which gives you a heightened motivation to finish this personal project.

It's past dinnertime when you get off the call with your mother. After turning off the lights, you head towards the elevator when your phone rings. This time, it's from someone unexpected.

“Sis! Are you home?”

“I’m going to be,” you say. “What’s wrong?”

“Erm, well, Haitham had too much to drink, and I thought he would have hangover pills or something… but”—Kaveh sighs—“the guy's empty.”

“...Are you the one who got him addicted to catnip?”

“What! How can you think that it's me?”

A small pause.

“Okay. I gave it to him once and he… liked it. I swear I tried to stop him.”

You sigh. “Is he okay? I’ll pick up something on my way back.”

Kaveh smiles. “Really? You’d do that for someone who's just a friend?”

“I’ll be right over," you deadpan.

Back at Alhaitham’s apartment, Kaveh slips his phone inside his pocket and looks at his friend who’s sitting on the sofa with a small frown.

“This is your chance, Junior. Don’t waste it.”

“Did you really have to lie?”

"Well, she won't rush over if you're all fine and dandy. So, at least try to look like you're half-dead when she gets here." Alhaitham sighs, and Kaveh smiles. "It's time to make your acting debut."

By the time you reach Alhaitham’s apartment, it’s already late evening. As soon as you knock, Kaveh opens the door.

“Hey, Catnip!”

“...What did you just call me?”

Kaveh laughs. “It’s a cute nickname, don’t you think?”

“Sure." You look around. "Where’s Haitham?”

“In his room.”

As soon as you get there, you see Alhaitham as a cat curled up on top of the sheets. Then, you turn to Kaveh.

“...He looks fine.”

“That’s 'cause he’s a cat. He was dying earlier. Trust me.”

You look at the pills and other hangover-related medication in the bag you’re holding. “Well, I don’t think he can take these right now.”

You hear a soft meow. When you turn, you see Alhaitham struggling to get up. It's not until you're at his side that he immediately walks onto your lap.

“Well, he’s all yours! Good luck.”

Before you can say anything else, Kaveh is out the door.

You look down at Alhaitham who’s lying on his back, his belly facing upwards. His face looks as if he’s in pain, and you gently rub his fluffy belly.

“Let me get you some water.”

You’re about to get off the bed when Alhaitham suddenly gets up, stands on his hind legs, and pushes you down. What just happened? Alhaitham is on top of you, his front paws above your breasts as you stare at each other.

Alhaitham meows again, and you’re wondering if he wants you to kiss him. Well, you can, but certainly not in this position. You pick him up, sit upright, and lean against the wall. You smile as you hold him in front of you.

“Looks like someone’s fine.”

Alhaitham looks down but quickly looks back and groans softly as if in pain.

“You should probably take some acting lessons from Ayato.”

Alhaitham gives you a deadpan look which makes you laugh.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

His ears droop and you gently tap his nose. Then, you bend your legs and put him belly-up on your legs.

“...I talked to my mom about us.”

Alhaitham’s ears slowly move back up. You’re slightly blushing, so his tail sweeps upwards. Can this mean what Alhaitham thinks it means…?

“I want to be with you, Haitham,” you say, and his little kitty heart has never raced so fast. “...But, I won’t be able to forgive what your mother did. No matter what.” You smile slightly. “I’m not going to ask you to pick between us. I know you still care about her, obviously. But after everything that’s happened, I still want to be with you.”

Alhaitham leans forward, his paws landing on your collarbone. Then, he kisses your nose…

Your eyes widen when a hand is suddenly beside your head. Alhaitham is staring at you, his eyes just as wide as reality sinks in. He has you cornered against the wall. What just happened?

But before you can even contemplate, Alhaitham kisses you full on the mouth. You can taste the wine on his lips as your hands go around his neck. He nips your top lip, caressing it before moving to the bottom. The cold chill you feel against your back is in glaring contrast to the hot, demanding heat pulling you closer… and closer…

Your hand is on his chest but soon becomes entangled with Alhaitham’s. He holds your hand tightly, your bodies flush against one another. Your pulse is thundering as one kiss after another communicates more passion and longing than words ever can.

When Alhaitham finally pulls away, his expression is sincere and intense.

“I love you,” he says.

You immediately kiss him again but only for a moment. You gently nip his lips as you pull back.

“I love you, too.”

His expression turns slightly worried. “...But, what does your mother think?”

“She’s okay with us dating.” You smile. “...I already talked to her.” Then, you push him down, your hand running down his torso. “Did you and Kaveh trick me here?"

“...That’s—”

You kiss him, and you feel his hand in your hair, pulling you closer. Your hand travels lower, and you break the kiss just in time to hear a soft moan when you gently stroke his hardening sex.

Then, you lean forward and whisper, “...Someone deserves to be punished.”

It doesn’t take long for your teasing to reduce him to a panting mess who’s dying to touch you as you ride him deep and hard. Your hands are on top of his, pinning them to the bed. Alhaitham shuts his eyes as he relishes in the pleasure only you can give him. When you suddenly stop, he opens his eyes and sees you tug at one of your hardened nipples with a slightly teasing smile.

Alhaitham immediately sits up, your legs naturally going to either side of his waist. Then, he grabs your hips and pins you to the bed with his body. Your legs are dangling on either side of him, your face flushed.

“...It’s my turn.”

His hips slowly rock into you, allowing you to feel every inch of his hardened sex. And, slowly, as he picks up the pace, he grabs your knees and spreads your legs even wider. When he hears that loud, satisfied moan from your lips, he pins your hands to the bed and leans over and kisses you. Coupled with how he’s angling his hips to drive himself deeper into you, you soon shudder violently with unwilling pleasure.

Alhaitham’s muscles become taut as the sensation builds… builds… and builds until he lets out a short but satisfied cry. With just enough strength to prevent himself from falling on top of you, he brushes some of your hair out of your face.

“...I could do that again,” you joke.

Alhaitham leans upright and pulls you up. Your arms go around his neck. “...Who am I to refuse such a request?”

◆◆◆

The following morning, you wake up in Alhaitham's bed to a delicious scent. As he isn't beside you, you have a feeling that he's already in the kitchen making breakfast. You put on your clothes and head to the washroom. Once you enter the living room, you see Alhaitham putting two plates on the table.

He smiles. “Morning, love.”

“Ooh, what are we having this morning?” you ask, sitting down.

“The Alhaitham special,” he answers, kissing your head.

You laugh. "The what?" Then, he puts a round plate in the middle of the table. It looks like pizza as it's round with meat and vegetables on top. You take a piece and bite into it. Your eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, wow. Not bad."

“...It’s what my Dad used to make,” Alhaitham says, sitting on the opposite side of you. Before you can ask, he continues, “I finally got in touch with him.”

“Really?”

“It was when we were taking time apart. My grandfather was the one who found him.”

“...Did your father tell you anything about the divorce?”

“...I never thought I’d get to talk to you again, Haitham. Does your mother know about this?”

“She does,” Alhaitham answered. “A lot of things have happened… and I think she finally came to her senses.”

“It’s hard to imagine she changed.”

“What happened between you and Mom?”

“She didn’t tell you?”

“...She was very vague,” Alhaitham said.

His father sighed. “...Your mother became obsessed with her career. When she got a promotion, she was already thinking about the next one. I found it admirable at first, but she started using questionable methods to get there.”

“...Questionable methods? Like what?”

“She would use people. And, after getting what she wants, she tossed them aside. I… made a suggestion to her one day, but when things didn’t go as planned, she changed entirely.”

“...What happened?”

“One of her colleagues stole her work. It was a market research report that your mother had been working on for a couple of months. Their company hired someone new after one of her colleagues left. Your mother was a top performer, so”—he sighed—“I suggested she let that new colleague take a look at her report so he can learn from her."

“And that person stole it?”

“...That’s right. He handed it in as his own. I think that was when our relationship really spiralled downwards”

“...Does your mom know that you know about this?” you ask.

“She knows I talked to him, but she didn’t ask about the details. Perhaps she doesn’t want to deal with the past anymore.”

A small pause.

“...I have to say,” you begin, and Alhaitham looks at you. “Your mother may have been trying to protect herself, but selfishness can only go so far before it comes back to bite you.”

“...That’s true. It’s a lesson she learned the hard way.”

And you hope she’ll never forget it.

…

Two years later

“Do you ever miss being a cat?” Childe asks.

You, Alhaitham, and Childe are having lunch together at Lambad’s Tavern on a sunny afternoon.

That’s a question Alhaitham never thought he’d have to answer. But… it has finally happened. Ever since you and Alhaitham officially got back together, he has never turned back into a cat.

“What about you?” you ask Childe.

As Childe's relationship with his parents got progressively better, his cat transformation also began to die. Now that more of his scripts are getting approved for production, Childe hasn't transformed for nearly a month.

“There’s not really a lot of perks to being a cat,” Childe says. “The only perk would be cuddles with Lumine.”

You give him a slight deadpan look, and he smiles.

Then, you hear Ayato’s voice.

The three of you turn to the TV and see him and his female co-star talking to a journalist.

“He’s been really busy nowadays,” Alhaitham says.

Childe looks at you. “We have you to blame for that."

It’s been almost two years since you officially finished the script for My Boss is My Cat. You’ve worked on it tirelessly, but you had a great support system. After telling Alhaitham that it was loosely based on your relationship with him, he gave you a kiss and said that it would be an absolute hit.

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong.

You may not have won Best Screenwriter for the effort you put into My Boss is My Cat, but you’re still proud that the company liked it enough to produce it. In the end, Ayato got cast as the male lead and was in the running for a few awards.

The last time you and The Strays talked to him, Ayato said that his transformation was also wearing off. But it was when he was nominated that he noticed that he hasn’t been transforming during his kiss scenes. You still remember the small smile he had when he said he never thought he’d be wishing to transform into a cat.

“Well, what can I say?” you ask with a small smile. “Everyone likes a good cat story.”

“Maybe I should write one, too,” Childe jokes. Then, he looks at you and Alhaitham. “By the way, aren’t you two moving in together?”

You and Alhaitham look at each other and smile. That’s right. You and Alhaitham are moving in together. After Alhaitham’s temporary tenure as CEO, he went on to pursue a higher position than before at Akademiya. And since he’s no longer your boss, your relationship is no longer a secret. What’s more convenient is now that Lumine got a new job as a character designer for a gaming company, she’s looking for a new place. Yours just happen to be free and closer to her company.

“...So, don’t tell me it’s just going to be the two of you,” Childe continues.

“Someone’s nosy,” Alhaitham says, half-jokingly.

“Aw, man, I just want to know if there’s like… I don’t know! A wedding or something!”

You and Alhaitham look at each other again. Then, you look at Childe. “When the time is right, it’ll happen naturally.”

Childe sighs. “So, I guess I won’t be a Godfather anytime soon.” When Childe catches a knowing look between you and Alhaitham, he gasps. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re…”

"No," you say. "But... I wouldn't say we're completely child-free."

Childe looks from you to Alhaitham. “What is this supposed to mean? I need an explanation!”

◆◆◆

Later that weekend, you and Alhaitham invite Lumine and Childe over for lunch. As soon as Alhaitham opens the door, your newly adopted kitten slowly gets up from his cat bed and walks over.

“He’s so cute!” Lumine gushes as she crouches. She extends her arms and the kitten walks closer so she can pick him up. "What did you name him?"

“When we adopted him, the person says he responds to the name Kazuha,” you say.

“Kazuha?” Childe asks. “Why Kazuha?”

“Not sure. It was the name that was in the box they found him in."

“How could anyone abandon a poor, innocent animal like that?” Lumine huffs, standing up with Kazuha in her arms.

Childe walks over and leans close to the cat who stares at him. “Is it just me or is he kinda quiet?”

You laugh. “You have no idea how much he tried to attack Haitham’s hair.”

“His hair?”

You point to the strand of hair that’s sticking out from the top of Alhaitham’s head.

“Glad it’s still in one piece,” Childe says with a smile.

"And I hope it stays that way," Alhaitham says.

Kazuha hops out of Lumine's arms and onto the couch. "Wouldn't it be funny if Kazuha isn't actually a cat?" she jokes.

You and Alhaitham glance at each other. "What makes you say that?" he asks.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just thought it would be funny if you happened to adopt a cat who’s also afflicted with the curse.”

“Surely we would’ve noticed a stranger in the house," you say. "We adopted him a while ago."

Lumine chuckles. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Then, your sister and Childe head to the kitchen to grab drinks. You and Alhaitham are about to follow them when you hear a soft meow. Both of you stop and turn around. After Kazuha cleans his face with his paw, he looks at you and Alhaitham and winks.

You've heard of cats winking, so this shouldn't be anything unusual. Right? You and Alhaitham glance at each other.

...Right?

End Notes:

...FIN.

You and Haitham are now proud parents of cat Kazuha who may or may not be... the real Kazuha. XD.

Will there be a sequel of you and Haitham raising Kazuha? ...Erm, probably not.

BUT

There might be a separate spin-off cat Kazuha story in the future. I already have an idea for it. Of course, the pairing will be You/Kazuha but the "you" in that story will obviously not be the same one here. It'll be a separate story with mentions/references to this one.

It still hasn't hit me that MBIMC is over. But you and Alhaitham's story has ended. When I started this story three or so months ago, I never thought it would get this many views. So, thank you for all the love and support <3

And now... I can finally start on the fic that's been plaguing me for months LOL. Any Honkai Star Rail readers here? :> You may see me pop up in that fandom soon...

But until then, TAKE CARE <3

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @sakiimeo @ash-in-lavender @ceylestia @forsh4dow @deathkat657 @kalpie @elernity @sentieence @chichibleeps @sunsethw4 @hjjks @tanspostsblog @nqctre @just-simping-over-genshin @uchihaeirin @vynbin @ayanokomu @dksfl920 @rin1802 @itztaki @thetwinkims @imkaaayy @angeilix @starlighttotheleft @letthewindlead @certaindreampost @winterpein @theprinceofkhaos @warrior-of-justice @vvyeislazzy @n8mareee

#alhaitham x you #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x y/n #alhaitham x yn #genshin al haitham #al haitham x reader #al haitham fluff #al haitham x y/n #al haitham #genshin alhaitham

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clubdionysus · 5 months ago

Text

[BAD DECISION #39] Rooms

warnings: fluffy and luverly!! let's go to pohang!! laser tag chapter :) start of the pre-wedding celebrations!

a/n: im scheduling as i watch bangbangcon but it've already made it through the red bullet and wings show so I am behind schedule! too distracted! tannie writer second, army first!!

wc: 9.5K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"What did you vote for?" Jeongguk asks, tucking into the piping-hot French toast from his favourite cafe downtown.

Sitting by the window, you're polar opposites. Dressed down, you've come to meet him following his meeting with the bank, and are incredibly grateful that you're in a public space. Never before have you seen him so formal - but you have seen the tie he's wearing before. The last time you'd laid eyes upon it, it had been fastened around your wrists. Every now and again, your words trail off, eyes focused on his chest - and every single time, Jeongguk smirks.

"Pohang," you say, digging your fork into the strawberries he set aside for you on his plate. As much as he likes them, he knows you like them more. "Beach over mountains any day."

Jeongguk nods, brows furrowed together as he swallows down his food. "Fuck me, that's good - and yeah, same. Will be nice to get out of the city, too. And hey -" he snaps his fingers beside his face. Twice. Gets your attention. "Eyes up here, Disco Ball."

Throwing him a small glare, you decide you're not to blame. "You shouldn't have worn that tie."

Exhaling a breathy laugh, Jeongguk just shakes his head. "You should learn to have some self-control."

With a roll of your eyes, you play off his teasing. "Please, self-control is basically my middle name."

"Disco Self-Control Ball?" He asks almost a little too sincerely. "Must be a ballache for signing legal documents."

"My parents wanted me to be unique," you playfully reply.

"You're certainly unusual," Jeongguk knocks his head to the side, then takes a sharp swig of his coffee as if it's hard liquor. There's a playful arrogance to the way in which he teases you, and you know that anything you say will be met with dumb banter when he's in moods like these. "Unique sounds far too nice."

"Pack it in, Jeon," you scold, but there's a smile on your lips, and glitter in your gloss. A certain happiness radiates from you that he hasn't had the luxury of indulging in recently. What with the scare of carrying a literal child pressing on you for a couple of weeks, and Jeongguk's stress about the bank meeting, there's not been much chance for respite. You've both been processing the events - and the bad decisions it took to reach such a calamity.

So despite the tease, you're both agreed: a breather is needed.

Things with Jeongguk are good. Great, in fact. You're both seemingly happy with the arrangement at hand, and yet there's a fear that things could get spoiled. That you'll take how good things are for granted. Will ruin it.

For lack of better phrasing, you were only ever supposed to be fuck buddies. Not parents. Not anything more than friends who fuck around a little bit in the hopes that their issues would resolve themselves.

"Hey," he defends, holding his hands up, the smile on his face as he chews on the last bit of French toast just as infuriatingly charming as it always is.

Your conversation is lost in the general chatter of the cafe, and anyone walking past would be forgiven for thinking that you're talking about the upcoming new moon, or astronomy, or some shit like that. The way Jeongguk looks like he's got an entire cosmos in his eyes, and the glitter that freckles your skin, makes you appear like you're in your very own world. Very own galaxy, perhaps.

"I mean it," you say sternly. "I'll think you're flirting with me if you keep being mean."

Jeongguk just shrugs. "Maybe I am flirting with you."

The way you gag and heave at such a response has the table next to you glancing over to check you aren't actually throwing up.

Jeongguk laughs. Reaches for your arms to steady you, then glances over to the people looking your way. "Don't worry about her. Just swallowed a fly."

You look at him with narrowed eyes, yet again, and Jeongguk begins to learn that this is synonymous with feigned disgust. Your narrowed eyes are never glaring. Always glowing.

Shaking off his touch, you ignore the way Jeongguk bites down on his bottom lip, and how his lip ring does the thing.

"I'll swallow you if you're not careful," you threaten - and regret it immediately when Jeongguk raises his eyebrows.

"Now that's not very friendly, is it, Byeol?"

"Oh, no like that," you laugh, because you don't want to keep pretending like you're entirely disgusted by him. If anything, now you're thinking about it, you'd quite like to swallow him. You blame the desire to do incredibly unfriendly things with your best friend on the tie he's wearing.

"Anyways," you dismiss. "Are we driving across to Pohang? Or getting the train?"

"I think you mean to say am I driving - and the answer is yes, I am," he assures you. "Is this a sneaky way of begging for a ride?"

"I thought you'd never ask - and hey, don't look at me like that. You normally like it when I ri-"

"Byeol!"

"What?!"

"Behave yourself."

With a coy smile, you mumble an apology.

Jeongguk just shakes his head. Mutters, 'unbelievable,' and takes a sip of his coffee. Hands in your lap, you lean over to reach your straw and take a sip of your iced americano, too. Look up at him. Earn yourself another warning.

"Stop it with the eyes."

Cheeks rounding, lips still around your straw curving into a tight-lipped smile, you close your eyes.

"Seriously, you gotta behave yourself if we're gonna survive this weekend," he tells you, knowing that there's absolutely no way he'll make it out a weekend of you flirting with him in the way that you are now alive. Might just die.

A group consensus had been taken for Yoongi and Seoyeon's respective celebrations of their singledoms - but neither of them really felt like saying 'goodbye' to it. Would much rather just say 'hello' to the lives they're building together. In all honesty, marriage will really change nothing between the pair of them.

It's for this reason that they've opted for a group celebration. Two options had been given in the group chat - renting out a pension-style house by the coast over in Pohang, or a spa stay at a mountain resort on the edge of the city - and the vote had been unanimous.

This weekend, you'll all head over to the coast. After the stress of the last few weeks, you genuinely can't wait - even if Hayun will be there.

"It's inevitable," you shrug when Jeongguk asks how you're feeling about it. In all honesty, you're surprised that he breached the conversation. Thought that she'd be ignored like a bright red elephant in the corner of the room. Instead, it seems like he's trying to assess the situation before it even happens - and you can't blame him. "She might not be my favourite person in the world, but this weekend isn't about me, is it?"

You've given it a lot of thought over the last few days. Too much thought, you think. Have considered half a dozen scenarios that could play out, and the bias of your brain always has them working out in your favour.

She wants to argue? You'll rise above it. She gives you a snide remark? You won't give her the dignity of a response. Jeongguk falls under her spell? Let him. It's not like he's yours, anyway. He can do as he pleases.

Yet when you look up at him, and see the look of contemplation on his handsome features, neat brows furrowed and a frown detailing his expression, you secretly hope that she isn't what pleases him anymore. You're unaware of the ins and outs of their conversation at The Ryu. All you know is that she always laughs a little too much at Jeongguk's jokes in the group chat, but that he ignores all of her replies.

"Well, no," he supposes, eventually.

"How are you feeling about it?" You decide to ask. Have spent far too long trying to read between the lines that Hayun has painted red. Would like a little clarity. Think that it's about time you stopped jumping to conclusions without a safety net in place. "Have you spoken lately?"

He shakes his head. Toys with the straw in his coffee glass, which is mostly ice by this point. The small frozen shards clatter against one another, but will soon be melted into oblivion. Forgotten all about. "No reason to."

He pretends to not notice the coy smile you're trying to hide, but it's contagious. He mirrors you. Does a terrible job at pretending like he isn't pleased by this admission.

There's an acute awareness between you both that this feels new. That the overwhelming burden of Jeongguk's confused feelings towards Hayun no longer weighs down on his shoulders in the same way that they used to.

"Think that Tae and Danbi are gonna try and get a ride with me too," he tells you.

"What about Jimin?"

"Oh, yeah," he nods. "Him too. That's like, a given, though. He's already shotgunned the front seat. Joon's gonna get the train, I think. Said he and Hobes had spoken about catching the same one."

Nodding, you add, "Yeah, Hobes has already got his ticket sorted. He's always at that bloody tennis club with Joon these days. Think he might have a crush."

"Really?!" Jeongguk exclaims with such vigour the table beside you gawks over at you both again.

Laughing, you hush him. "Maybe. Never really seen them together, but he did ask me if I've ever noticed how good Joon's thighs are the other day."

"He has got really good thighs," Jeongguk laments with a little envy. Seems like as much as he works out, he can never reach the same levels of muscle ass on his own legs. "Understandable."

"Can't say I've ever noticed."

"You must be blind."

That, or just always too busy looking at Jeongguk's thighs instead.

Even though they're tucked neatly beneath the table, you still glance down at his lap, reminded of just how much you like his thighs - and how much he liked you on them in the janitor's closet at Taehyung's art show.

"Eyes. Up."

"Oh my god," you whine, cheeks flaming. "I wasn't looking at them like that ."

"Is it the suit?" He questions, genuine curiosity brimming on the very edges of his jovial teasing. It's been a while since he's seen you this unable to visibly control yourself. Too long, he thinks. Selfishly, he quite enjoys it when it's like this. Like you a little loopy for him. "Is that what's getting you all hot and bothered, huh?"

"I'm a perfectly normal temperature."

"You're sweating," he lies. "Burning up for me, baby."

"Is that a Jonas Brothers reference?" You question, equal parts bemused and frustrated with how much he likes to fuck around with you like this.

"I'm a man of culture, Byeol."

"You're a twat."

"Yeah, that too."

Rolling your eyes, you decide that you don't wanna let the conversation derail yet again. Take charge of the direction it goes in.

"So tell me more about your meeting. How'd that go? When will you hear about the loan?"

"Yeah, really well," he says and gets into the specifics. Tells you all about the loan process, how his business plan was barely even looked at despite all of his hard work, and how uncertain he still is.

"You'll be fine," you promise him. "One step closer to the big dream."

Nodding, he's apprehensive. Tries not to let it show. "One step closer."

Walking into your room, anyone would be forgiven for thinking you're packing for three months - not three nights.

"Why is this even up for debate?!" Jeongguk laughs, holding up the skimpiest bikini he thinks he's ever seen. "We're not going swimming in the sea. It'll be bloody freezing."

"Okay, firstly - you're not swimming in the sea. I'll do whatever I like, thank you very much. And secondly, haven't you looked at the listing?" You assert. "Seoyeon sent it over a few days ago."

Opening up his phone, Jeongguk scrolls through the group chat, which has received easily a hundred messages since then. He's awful at checking it. Always finds out the important details from you or Jimin, anyways.

Scrolling through the pictures, it's the first time Jeongguk is properly looking at it. Had agreed to whatever the happy couple had suggested, and just wired the money through for his share of the weekend rent - after all, it's their celebration, not his. Will happily do whatever they want, and plans on spending the weekend in a permanent state of ' yes '.

A large white pension house, it overlooks the coast and has a pathway that directly leads down to a small cove. With two extra buildings, there are enough rooms to comfortably sleep you all, even if some will be sharing.

It has everything you could need for a weekend away with friends - an outside deck with a large barbecue, a ping pong table you know full well be used for beer pong, sofas that look like they can easily fit a football team on them and a hot tub in the corner of that outside deck. You dread to think of what men like Jimin would get up to in it, but thankfully there's no one here this weekend he can put his moves on.

Looking at the bikini still in his grasp, he comes to realise why it was in your pile of potentials - and stupidly, all he can think of is the fact he absolutely does not want to give any of his friends reasons to stare. Knows they inevitably will. Knows that if the pair of you were established as more than what you are, he'd revel in it. Would be so incredibly proud.

And yet he doesn't want any of the single boys thinking about you in the same way that he does. Doesn't want them to have any reason to put moves on you.

Still, you're your own person, and he knows better than to ever try and tell you what you should or shouldn't wear - so he just tosses it into the small suitcase you're packing.

Is a little bit mopey and pathetic as he says, "The boys will be drooling."

Raising your brow, you question, "Is that an issue?"

"No issue," he lies, then flops onto his back, head landing on a pile of your pillows. He smirks. "We both know I'm the only one you'll be drooling over, so it's fine. Let them look."

"God, your ego will be the death of you."

He doesn't reply. Knows you'll be the death of him, instead, and kind of loves this reality.

The rest of the evening trawls on, and your suitcase is packed and unpacked - according to Jeongguk - a 'gazillion' times. Eventually, fed up with your own indecision, you'd said, "I can't be arsed. Pack for me."

And so he had. In lightning speed, Jeongguk had enough clothes gathered for the weekend and your toiletries all zipped up into a small bag. In true Virgo fashion, he'd folded them all needed and organised your suitcase like a display unit at an upscale department store.

When you reach over to question one of his shirt choices, he taps your hand away. "Nope. You're done. You can't spend another fourteen years packing."

"I could give it a good try."

"Byeol," he whines. "You won't get a better configuration than this. Don't try it."

He also doesn't want you to take out a few of the things he's snuck in there, either. Your bikini is in plain sight, so you know that he has at least packed that.

"Fine," you sigh, flipping the lid of the suitcase over to zip it up. He really has done a stellar job, and you know you shouldn't, but you actually find his efficiency kinda hot, in a strange sort of way. Just shows his competency. Makes you think he'd be useful to keep around. Good with a drill. Good with a screw - but you knew that already. "You all packed?"

He raises a brow as he reclines into a more comfortable position on your bed. "Is that even a real question?"

Those narrow eyes of yours come back, and Jeongguk watches as you scan your bed for something to throw at him. His eyes reach your My Melody plushie a fraction of a section before yours do - and so he lunges for it, narrowly beating you.

The speed at which you both reach for it causes you to stumble a little onto your bed. Jeongguk holds the My Melody above his head as he sits up straight against the headrest, and on his face is the cheesiest grin you've ever seen. It's so bright that you almost miss the way his lip ring is doing that godforsaken thing once more.

He challenges you in the way he raises his brows, as if to say, "Come and get it."

And who are you to refuse a challenge?

It's clockwork the way in which you two tussle around. It's gentle and childish. You're giggly, and so is he. He could pin you down easily; restrain you in a way he's done before.

And yet he doesn't.

He lets you win, because letting you win also means having you on his lap - and he's sorely missed that. Missed you. Missed the feeling that comes with pretending like you're more than what you are.

A win for you is a win for him.

With My Melody in your hands, Jeongguk's hands come to find their place on your waist.

"Got it," you say quietly, and Jeongguk just hums. Nods. Pulls you further up his lap.

Leaning your forehead down to rest upon his, it's easy to forget the boundaries you've set in place. Hard to remember how to be responsible.

Nudging his nose up against yours, Jeongguk can't help but let himself slip back into old habits. Bad habits. Ones he should have kicked ages ago.

And yet he lets his lips ghost yours. Aligns his between yours. Tightens his grip on your hips and gently rocks you. Whispers a hushed moan. Takes a second to pause. Think about what he's doing. Assess whether or not it's a recipe for disaster.

Resting his forehead against yours, he shakes his head. Goes to speak - and then, against his better judgement, presses a chaste kiss to your lips. It's teeny tiny. Delicate. Too little and yet too much all in the same fleeting touch; like a shooting star not shining for long enough to make a wish upon.

"C'mon," he whispers against your lips. "We can't be doing this. Not now."

"I'm not doing anything," you whisper right back, as if your hips aren't languidly grinding against him. " You're the one with a boner."

"And you're the encouraging it," he says, as if he wasn't the one to get you positioned over his cock. "We've been doing so well. Let's not fuck it up."

Part of you wants to fuck it up, though.

"Say the word," you tell him, knowing that you need him to be the strong one.

"B," he says a little breathlessly, swallowing down the syllable.

"Say the word."

Jeongguk shakes his head. Sounds guilty as he admits, "I don't want to."

God , he just makes it so hard to resist.

"We've got an early start tomorrow," you contemplate out loud. "Maybe you should get going."

"Maybe I should," he agrees - but then hurriedly changes his mind. "Fuck it. No. I don't wanna go."

"No?" You ask with a soft smile on your lips. It's taking everything in him not to kiss you right now. Ha to physically hold himself a little further back.

"No," he husks. Is all raspy and needy, obsessed with how it feels to have you in a position like this. He'd wait a lifetime, he thinks - but is also impatient. Wants you now. "I wanna stay. Wanna make you cum."

Ooft . It's bold statements like those - the crude , the vulgar , the indecent - that always drive you a little wild. Jeongguk will touch you so tenderly, as if he's scared of leaving a single mark on your skin, and yet whispers words that will forever warp your sense of desire.

"That's not very friendly," you say, stroking your hands through his hair, still fascinated by the new length.

"Yeah, it is. It's like, so kind," he assures you. " So friendly."

With a bemused smile, you remind him of his desire to leave. "Were you not just saying you had to go?"

Closing his eyes, Jeongguk lets his head tip back, his pretty neck exposed, Adam's apple just begging for a little kiss. You refuse.

"You're right," he groans. "Fuck. Yeah. Sorry. Shit. Get off me, you temptress."

Laughing at his ridiculous wording, you do as you're told. It's tender, the way Jeongguk lets you go, but keeps hands loosely on your body until you're out of reach.

"Do us both a favour," Jeongguk says nonchalantly, reaching over your bedside table for the trinket box that houses things a 'friend' really shouldn't know about. He opens it up, and you watch on in suspended disbelief - which only tenfolds when he pulls out your fucking vibrator, and then chucks it at you. "Take this with you."

Barely managing to catch it, you stammer out a collection of high-pitched noises that mean nothing and everything all at once.

"Okay, one," you hiss, eyes wide, shock evident. "You don't just go into a girl's private things like that-"

"I've been in your private thing loads."

"Jeongguk, that is not what I mean. I said things, not thing ."

"Yeah? I've seen 'em all. Been in a couple. Plural. Things."

"Gguk," you laugh now - and then remember you're holding a fucking rabbit . The black silicone is a demure upgrade from your last one, but how demure can a dick-shaped vibrator with a pair of bunny ears be? Tossing it down on your bed, it lands with a thud - and that's how Jeongguk knows it must be fucking powerful. "I'm not taking a vibrator on a trip with all of our friends."

"Do I need to remind you that you were gonna walk around in front of our friends with my cum in yo-"

"Stop!" You cringe. Whine as you throw your head back. "God, we're disgusting ."

"Yeah," he admits. Smirks. "Was kinda hot, though."

Shameless , you think - then wonder if he's always been like this; if Hayun got this side of him.

Thing is, when Jeongguk had been sleeping with Hayun, he'd been trying so hard to be perfect . The perfect gent, the perfect concept of a boy she could grow to love. For a while, it had seemed to work. So intent on being pristine, he kept their sex life equally as perfect. Would never be vulgar without purpose.

He steps into a realm that goes beyond his past experiences with you. His confidence fools you into a false understanding of his experience, but he'd got every reason to be confident with you. The sex only seems to get better and better. The riskier he gets, the bigger the reward. It's a recipe for disaster. A bad decision waiting to happen.

This is probably why cooling things off is a good decision. He was one step away from exhibitionism. Is taking things too far.

Fails to realise that maybe he wants to be caught. Wants people to know you fuck, because it's the only way he can mark his territory. Primal instincts. The same type that gets him spitting on your cunt, lips wrapping around your nipples, cock fucking into you at any given opportunity. He desperately wants to belong to you.

It's not a case of him being possessive, no. It's a case of him wanting to be possessed by you.

But these are dangerous things to think about when he's supposed to be cooling things off.

So instead, he simply says, "Take it with you. Please ."

"Why?" you question, because you're never gonna easily agree with him.

"'Cause I need you to not try it on with me," Jeongguk almost pleads. "Need you to be satisfied."

Funny how he thinks a dildo is capable of that. The only reason you upgraded was because the last one didn't cut it anymore. This one... yeah, this one is better, but it still isn't good enough.

But you're a dickhead in the best of times, and Jeongguk is never gonna get a serious answer from you.

"I'll just go to Jimin's room."

Jeongguk doesn't even crack a smile.

"No, you won't."

"Done it before-"

"You're not doing it again."

"Why not?" you pout, reaching back down for the vibrator. The way you hold it isn't necessarily obscene, but it is suggestive - and it makes Jeongguk's semi so painfully hard. One of his hands comes to his lap, as if to hide it, but it's no use. You can read his body like a book. Know exactly which chapter you're on. "I could just go to his room instead of yours when I'm horny?"

"What's the use? You'll leave just as horny as you went in."

"That's so mean."

He smirks. "Okay, but is it a lie?"

You don't dignify him with a response, instead opting to shoo him out of your apartment, with the promise of him getting to yours bright and early the next morning. Taehyung will be staying at your place with Danbi, to make it easier for Jeongguk, and all things considered, it's a well-set plan. No issues.

Or at least no issues until he arrives to find out that if he considers you not a light packer, then Danbi must be a heavyweight packer.

"We're going for three nights!" Jeongguk says in disbelief, when he's greeted with a full-size suitcase and a carry-on - not to mention the two tote bags over her shoulders.

"Okay?" Danbi says with the straightest face known to man. Part of you thinks she's just testing him, but the rest of you has known her for far too long. She really is a terrible packer. "And?"

Taehyung just has a leather duffel bag over his shoulder and an apologetic 'I tried telling her' look on his face.

Jeongguk stands still for a moment. Stares. Looks as if he's about to protest until, eventually, he just relents. "Fine - but I'm gonna have to reconfigure things."

You have to bite your tongue. Stop it from declaring how sexy it is when he talks efficiently. Oh, who are you?! One pregnancy scare and you're thinking about him in DILF capacities - but then he's rearranging the luggage, and the muscles in his arms flexing beneath his skin like fucking art, and - Oh, God. Pull yourself together!

The weekend will be a certified disaster if you don't get a grip on your brain and realign it. Jeongguk is your best friend. An idiot. A sexy idiot, granted, but still an idiot. You just wish he was wearing a jacket or something.

So busy looking at his arms, unable to form any words or offer any help, you're transfixed as you hear your name.

"Byeol?"

"Hmm?" You snap your focus up to his face, and are thankful you're not fucking drooling.

Too concerned with the luggage debacle, Jeongguk doesn't really notice the way you've been ogling.

"Will you be alright with bags by your feet?"

"Yeah," you nod. Your parents had always popped bags by your feet when you were younger, as you often travelled with your dog, giving him all the boot space. Squeezing yourself in is second nature. "No bother."

"Alright," he nods appreciatively, then taps on the passenger door. Jimin's napping, and Jeongguk had chosen not to wake him, knowing the car will likely be full of chatter when the three of you join the ride.

Waking with a startle, Jimin's clutching his heart when he gets out of the car. "Thought I was dying."

"You might be soon," Jeongguk grimaces, which earns an immediate wail from Jimin.

"No!" He asserts, knowing what is about to be asked of him. "Gguk, you promised ."

"I know, but I didn't expect there to be so much luggage!"

Jimin scowls in the direction of you three, who admittedly are standing there looking like guilty schoolchildren - even if it is just Danbi who has caused the conundrum.

"It's not a long drive," Jeongguk tries to reason with him. "And I'll pay for your snacks when we stop at a service station. Please, just sit in the back."

After a little more huffing and puffing, Jimin reluctantly agrees - but as an act of silent protest towards Danbi and Taehyung, he decides that he's having the middle seat. If he has to third-wheel, he's doing it on his own terms.

Eventually, you're crammed into the passenger seat with yours and Jeongguk's luggage, and a crate of beers on your lap.

"You good?" Jeongguk asks quietly as he starts the car up.

"All good," you nod as Jeongguk passes the cable for the aux over to you.

"Hold on, DB," Jimin says. "Made a playlist. I'll send you the link."

He really does take his shotgun duties seriously, and so you feel bad for getting his spot.

In all honesty, Jeongguk would have preferred you in the back. Would have liked glancing in his rearview mirror to see your disco balls eyes from time to time. Still, there's a comfort that comes with having you so close. Fears your glitter catching in the early morning light could be a distraction. Decides it's a fear he doesn't mind facing.

The drive is as smooth as you'd expect; mindless chatter, stupid games, and a soundtrack worthy of a montage in a cliche chick-flick. Jimin really did do a great job with the playlist, and, at times, Jeongguk's car becomes its very own noraebang.

You're nearly three-quarters of the way there when Jeongguk eventually turns off and heads into a service station. Doesn't need fuel for his car, but he can definitely do with fuel for his tummy.

Placing his hand on your back, Jeongguk gets your attention while you head towards the food court.

"Just gotta take this," he says, holding up his phone to show you an incoming call.

Nodding, you ask, "Want me to get you anything?"

"Surprise me."

"Will do."

Catching up with your friends, you're pleased to see the service station is just as you'd been expecting - a few stalls of snack foods, a couple of shops filled with tat for last-minute gifts and a little CU. The smell of hot oil and gasoline wafts around the place, wrapping you up in a certain nostalgia.

"Watcha getting?" Danbi asks.

"Not sure," you muse, looking at the menu above the canteen-style dining area. It's small, only about thirty or so seats, but it's quickly filling up as people seek refuge from the fine droplets of rain that have begun to pitter-patter down.

"Where's Gguk?" Jimin asks no one in particular.

Glancing over your shoulder to the entrance, you spot Jeongguk still on his call, pacing slightly. He's not seeking cover from the rain, eyes hard as he listens to whoever is on the other end of the line. Chewing down on his bottom lip, there's an uncertainty to his typically confident posture.

"On a call," you simply say, still observing him. Tension builds between his brows as he says something you can't decipher, before he turns away from your direction and continues pacing in laps with little regard for the weather. "Not sure who with."

It's another five minutes before he rejoins you, and when you ask him who was on the phone, he asks you what you've ordered, instead.

"Chicken," you tell him, eyes a little sleepy from the early start, not pushing on the ignored question. "Didn't really fancy anything else."

"You get me chicken, too?" He asks softly, rubbing your back as he stands a little closer beside you. Arm looping around his waist, you use his chest as a makeshift pillow for a moment or so.

"Mhmm. Figured we'd share."

"Sounds good to me," he says.

Eyes closed, you're unaware his sweet voice is paired with an incredibly rude middle finger, which is currently being held up towards Jimin and his shit-eating grin.

Cheeks chubby with the hotdog he's chowing down on, Jimin will always be the biggest supporter of Jeongguk being interested in, well, anyone other than Hayun.

The fact that it seems to be you?

Just makes it even better for him. Mainly because there's an endless supply of jokes he can make about him having you first, but also because he knows how deeply you care for Jeongguk. Thinks that his best friend deserves someone who gives a shit. Hopes that whatever the fuck is going on between you will sort itself out, sooner rather than later.

It's for this reason Jimin is so pleased that Hayun will only be on the trip for the final night.

She's currently back in Seoul for a job interview. Seoyeon had been a little disappointed when the schedules had clashed, but knew that it was important for her friend. She'd been desperately trying to find a job back in the capital city, and this was the first tangible shot in months.

Yoongi, on the other hand, had been quietly thrilled. Has no time for Hayun and her bullshit. Is just glad that other people seem to be wising up to the fact she is the way that she is. Has never really been a fan of her, and hopes that with time, Seoyeon will also distance herself. He'll never dictate her choices, though. It's something she'll have to learn to realise herself.

Food consumed, an appropriate amount of money wasted on the coin-operated gachapon machines, and a photo booth picture of the five of you crammed into a tiny passport-style booth taken, you head on your way again.

The drive takes far less time than you expect, and before you know it, you're all claiming to have been the first to see the sea. In all reality, it was Jeongguk who saw it first, but he lets you have your fun.

Dressed in white as she comes to greet you, Seoyeon is every bit the fairy princess bride-to-be. Her hair is delicately waved with teeny tiny plaits running through it. She too sports a little glitter on her eyes, but not half as much as you and it makes you consider altering your routine - but you know you never will.

"Gguk," Yoongi calls for Jeongguk's attention just as you finish unloading the car. "Sorry, I know you've been driving for a while but Joon and Hobi are at the station and the crappy weather is making it hard to get a taxi. Could you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure." Jeongguk nods, the start of his 'yes' weekend beginning. There's not a single thing that will be asked of him that he'll deny. Will do all he can to make things easier for other people, even if it does inconvenience him a little bit.

Car keys still in his hand, he holds them up and looks across to you. "Coming with?"

Shaking your head with a warm smile, you're appreciative of the invite, but you don't want to dip as soon as you arrive. The station is no more than a fifteen-minute drive, twenty tops, and given his face of thunder earlier, you think perhaps it'll be good for him to have some time to breathe.

"I'll make sure you get a good room," you promise instead, and he seems to appreciate this.

Waving a goodbye to everyone, Jeongguk heads off alone, while you take his and your bags in.

"You not going with him?" Seoyeon chirps as you take back one of the suitcases she's just claimed.

"Stop with the helping," you laugh. "It's your weekend. Should be relaxing. And nah, he can survive without me for a little bit."

"I hate feeling useless," she insists, and hoists Jeongguk's bag over her shoulder. Wobbles slightly, due to it being deceptively heavy, but she also seemingly has the core strength of a Goddess with how easily she balances herself. "Where are we taking these? Where are you guys staying?"

"Oh, we're not sharing," you say rather quickly. "Unless we need to, for space?"

Shaking her head, Seoyeon explains, "Oh, no. I just assumed you were. Danbi and Tae are sharing, Hayun will stay with Nabi when she gets here, so there's enough room for you and Jeongguk to have your own rooms. I mean, if that's what you want."

There's a subtle suggestion in her tone; permission, almost. You can stay with Jeongguk.

But instead, you double down.

"No, it's fine. Would probably be a bit weird, wouldn't it?"

Seoyeon smiles but keeps quiet as you head towards the second house, which is just off from the main building. Two rooms downstairs, and two rooms upstairs, it's the one you like the most when you saw the listing. Jimin's already nabbed one of the upstairs rooms, and you want the other one.

"Drop Jeongguk's bag here," you tell Seoyeon as you enter the house. "He'll be downstairs, and I'll be up."

"Sure thing," she smiles and she does as she's told, while also wondering if you'll be the one sneaking downstairs, or if he'll be the one sneaking upstairs.

Seoyeon leaves you to get yourself adjusted, and you're thankful for it. You know the weekend is gonna be full on when it comes to socialising, as much as you adore everyone coming (well, almost everyone), you know you'll be exhausted by the end of it.

It's partially why you insisted that Jeongguk retrieve the boys alone. He needs his space just as much as you do, and will probably need a final few moments of peace and quiet before the chaos that will surely unfold when everyone is reunited.

The room you're in is well-sized. Not huge, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it needn't be. What matters is the view - and it's the exact same reason Jimin chose the room across the hallway. A wide window takes up most of the wall that faces the coast, and in it pours the most gorgeous view you think you've ever seen.

An endless cerulean sea stretches in front of you. On the southeast coast of the country, you know that Dokdo lies not too far on the horizon. Ulleungdo, too. Both are obscure to you right now, the mist of a rainy haze rending everything beyond a mile or so into nothingness.

As you stare out of the window in a state of awe, you hear the soft vibration of your phone, and drag your eyes away. All pale wood and white fabrics, the furniture and bedding are pristine. A far cry from the clutter and mayhem of your and Danbi's apartment. Reminds you of Jimin and his minimalist tendencies. Must be living the dream over in his room.

Picking up your phone, you're surprised to see a notification for a voice note from Jeongguk. Flopping down onto the bed, you hesitate a little before pressing play.

"Hey, B," Jeongguk's voice echoes around you. Comforting, like the warmth of a blanket or the scent of freshly baked cookies, it's nice to hear his voice even if you only saw him about ten minutes ago. Laying your phone on your chest, it's as if he never left.

"I know you're gonna ask about the call, but I don't wanna talk about it this weekend. There's just a hold-up with some of the bank stuff." You frown upon hearing this. Wonder what on Earth could possibly be wrong, knowing how hard Jeongguk had worked for it all. "That's all. No biggie. Was just thinking about it, so yeah. Thought I'd just let you know. Nearly at the station, so will be home soon. That's all. Okay. Bye-bye."

The cuteness of his sign-off fails to negate the heaviness of the rest of the message. It had obviously been dwelling on his mind, but also proves that letting him drive alone to process his thoughts was the right call. His choice to send a voice note was deliberate. He didn't want to engage in conversation, but he did want you to know - and you appreciate that more than you think you'll ever be able to convey.

Being invited into Jeongguk's mind, free of charge, with no expectation to invite him into yours is an honour. Proof of how he values you. An action that speaks louder than words.

You send him a quick text - "thanks for letting me know. got u a dreamy room, ur welcome x" - and then head back over to the main house. Rain drizzles down on you, but you don't mind. The rains are welcome after such a dry winter. Like the cutting of Jeongguk's hair, and the purchase of a brand new liquid glitter, they feel like the start of something new.

"I hear we're roomies," Jimin beams as you walk into the large, open-plan kitchen. There's a table big enough for a small country just in front of the kitchen area. To the right, through a large open arch is the sitting room. Designed for socialising, Seoyeon and Yoongi really did pick the best place.

"Housemates," you correct. "Jeongguk's in there too - who's got the fourth room?"

Sitting at the table, dressed casually but looking ever so beautiful, Nabi raises her hand. "You're stuck with me, I'm afraid."

"PARTY HOUUUSE," Jimin cheers, raising the beer he's already nursing, which makes you roll your eyes - but you can't help but laugh. He's ridiculous, yes, but he is fun - and he's also probably right. You first bonded with him over drinks, met Jeongguk at the bar of Dionysus and didn't warm up to Nabi until a very spirited game of beer pong. You likely will be the ones drinking all night and waking a little worse for wear the next morning.

Yoongi smirks like the cat who got the cream. "I love it when a plan comes together."

"Hmm?" you chirp, but Jimin is far more direct.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Seoyeon stands beside Yoongi and rubs his back tenderly with a smile on her pretty lips. The peach blush on her cheeks is so delicate and befitting of who she is, that when her eyes shine with a glint of mischief you can't help but understand exactly why Yoongi is so smitten.

"We might have lured all the party people to the same house," she admits - but she's quick to defend herself when she notices the feigned offence on all of your faces. "But hey, it's perfect! We can go to bed whenever we need to, and you guys can keep the party going!"

"We're too old for your shenanigans," Yoongi assures you. "About to be a married couple-"

"Gross," Jimin adds.

"So we're not as young and reckless as you young'uns."

"Yoongi, you guys are literally only a couple of years older," you laugh.

"You're a pair of sneaky bastards," Nabi tells them with a smile. "You're lucky I love you both."

In all reality, there's no offence to be taken. It really is the perfect scenario. You're not surprised that it's something they thought of ahead of time.

Everything for this weekend has, to a certain extent, been well prepared - though not by the happy couple. Assigned partners, you've all been tasked with planning an activity for the weekend.

Seoyeon and Yoongi had assigned themself the 'greeting party', of which this is, and is also why Yoongi is cosplaying Jeongguk as he serves mimosas to everyone who walks through the door. He's not a bad bartender - but he'll never be your favourite.

Taehyung and Danbi have been paired together, and will be guiding you to a certain death this afternoon.

Your activity partner is Namjoon, and you half suspect it was another deliberate ploy from Yoongi and Seoyeon to get you more acquainted with him.

Out of all of the boys, he's the one you know the least well, so it's been fun trying to plan an activity with him. Has been nice getting to know him in a way that doesn't feel forced - even though you know it entirely is.

Tonight, you'll become hosts of the most extravagant tipsy bingo ever known to man.

Both creative in your own ways, Namjoon is probably the best partner you could have had for your big vision. He's good with words, while you're good with making things look... well, ridiculous. There's a box by the front door addressed to Namjoon that he had had the genius idea of sending up beforehand. It's filled to the brim with props and decor and honestly, you can't wait.

Tomorrow morning, you'll no doubt be nursing murderous hangovers, which is where Jimin and Nabi step in. You don't know much about their plans, but you have heard the words 'Olympic' 'limbo' and 'sick bucket' mumbled between them during failed attempts at secrecy. You dread to imagine what they have in store for you.

Jeongguk has been paired with Hoseok, but they utterly refuse to share their plans with you in a capacity. It's been driving you insane - and they've both been revelling in it. Their activity is planned for the penultimate day.

As Hayun is arriving late, she's got the responsibility of the final morning, and has told everyone in the group to pack a pair of sensible shoes. You almost didn't bring any just to be a little bitch - but this weekend isn't about you. You're playing nicely, whether you like it or not.

The arrival of Jeongguk with Hoseok and Namjoon in tow is met with an overwhelmingly fond cheer. They all look slightly embarrassed by the display, but they are also the only ones without alcohol in their system.

Mimosa in hand, Jeongguk comes to greet you personally after the general hellos.

"I swear to God, if you've put me in a basement room-"

"Shut up," you laugh, tapping his arm fondly. Standing a small distance away from the group, it may as well be just the two of you in the room. Everyone else just fades into the abyss. Hardly a surprise, when he's got eyes like black holes that are intent on swallowing up every single one of your stars. "We're in the second house. Nabi and Jimin are with us."

"Hmm?" He chirps, not aware of the layout. "We're all in the same room?"

"No! No, different rooms. There are four rooms. Think Hayun will be joining Nabi on the last night."

Nodding, Jeongguk takes a hefty swig of his mimosa. Needs it to swallow down that information. "And you decided that's where we should sleep?"

Smiling as if she's never phased you, all you do is shrug. "Mhhm. Problem?"

He sticks his bottom lip and shakes his head. Reaches over to mess with the long bangs that frame your face, ruffling them out of position. "Fine with me if it's fine with you."

"Well, yanno," you begin to tease as you knock your fringe back into place. "I'm just across the hallway from Jimin. Easy access."

All very suddenly, Jeongguk's eyes get a little darker. His laugh, a little more sinful. He reaches over again, just to mess your hair up. Almost fucking growls as he says, "Don't you even fuckin' think about it."

His stare lingers for a second longer than it really should, but he's surprised to see you just smirking in response to his command.

"What if I already am thinking about it?" you tease quietly.

Jeongguk looks like he's ready to drag you into the second house and fucking nail you against the front door. Looks just as hungry as he normally does when you're naked. Breathes out a stunted laugh. Shakes his head. Is about to speak, when Yoongi called his name.

"Gguk, can you do the gim-mari? My hands are full."

Closing his eyes, Jeongguk takes a deep breath. "Behave yourself this weekend."

You watch as he walks away to help fry up the seaweed rolls, satisfied with yourself for getting under his skin so spectacularly.

He's dressed down - dark sweats, big white shirt with a silky black baseball jersey layered over the top of it. Lotte Giants, of course. Reminds you of how easy it was to get him keen on the weekend in Busan. You really shouldn't thrive on riling him up so much - but it's just so much fun . Hard not to do.

There's not much time to dwindle on silly little thoughts like these, because as soon as you've finished eating, Taehyung and Danbi are shooing everyone of the main house and down towards the front gate.

Their activity, you discover as you all get out of the taxis they had ordered for you, is laser tag at a local party place, of which you're certain almost exclusively caters towards children.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Jimin moans as the assigned teams are getting into formation on opposite sides of the room. He lifts an accusing finger, and turns to the couple who has organised the whole event. "Who did this? Danbi? It was you, wasn't it?"

Her eyes are wide, and her lips are just as pouty as the accusation is correct.

Shrugging, a smirk breaches her sincere expression. "What's wrong? Scared you'll lose?"

"Scared?!" Jimin shrieks. "Danbi, this is a suicide mission."

It's not.

It's laser tag.

But Jimin is right in thinking that he'll lose, given the frankly dire state of his team.

He's on Team Purple, captained by Taehyung, who is currently sitting and smiling adoringly at the rival captain. Jimin's new arch nemesis. Or just simply, Danbi.

The rest of the team is made up of yourself, Hoseok and Seoyeon.

Standing at the helm of Team Green is Danbi. Behind her is Jeongguk, caught up in conversation with Nabi and Namjoon, while Yoongi adjusts the strap of his laser gun.

It's not a fair fight. You know this. Doesn't mean you're not gonna act offended.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" You tut, voice an octave higher than usual. "We've just as much chance of win-"

"They have Jeongguk," Jimin deadpans.

Even you can't argue against that.

"So? We've got youth, good looks, and luck on our side," you tell Jimin. "If you don't believe in yourself, then how do you expect to even stand a chance? Pull yourself together, man!"

From across the room, Jeongguk appears to be engaged in conversation, but the way he accidentally slips a laugh out at the end of your sentence gives him away. You glance in his direction, but find him looking away, hand scratching at the back of his head. He's not slick in the slightest, but he is cute. You'll give him that much.

Teams assigned, safety briefing done - with Jimin mumbling about the way he'll break each and every protocol to win - all that's left is to battle it out to the death.

Or until one of the teams loses. Same difference.

The shrouded darkness of the tag course isn't too dissimilar from Dionysus, and has a familiar intrusive scent of artificial smoke. It obscures the lights, but is quickly wafting away through the vent so as to not interrupt gameplay. Huddled around your home base, Team Purple needs all the morale it can get.

"Gguk's gonna be on the attack," Taehyung theorises. "Danbi will be floating midway - she won't want to attack but she also doesn't wanna be a lemon guarding their base. I think Joon will be their guard."

Seoyeon hums in agreement, stripes of neon face paint on her cheeks as if she's really going into combat. "What Yoongi lacks in height he makes up for in speed. He'll be attack too."

"And Nabi?" You ask. She seems to be the only unpredictable force for the Greens.

"Honestly not a-"

Taehyung's pondering is interrupted by a booming voice through the loudspeaker. "THREE."

"Fuck!"

Stupidly spending too much time contemplating Team Green's tactics has prevented Team Purple from planning anything.

"Shit," Jimin hisses.

"Seoyeon, guard - if Yoongi gets here-"

"TWO."

"- you distract him. I'll find Danbi. Hobes, DB... Just like, try not to die."

"ONE."

"Jimin, you're on attack."

" Fuck !"

You should really anticipate the way Hoseok starts flailing, and yet it still takes you by surprise just quite how loudly he screams. He has no rhyme, no reason as he runs into the maze of hidden spaces.

Taehyung curses. Looks over to you. "Whatever you do, just don't do that ."

"Roger that," you nod, retreating to a doorway that leads to the ramp up to the second story. Figuring vantage is needed, you head up there without much care. Team Green will still be over in their camp. You've enough time to take things at a leisurely pace; to figure out the blueprints.

The layout is obscured by dozens of false walls and misleading hiding spots. There's a clear direct path into Green territory, and you spot Jimin scoping it out from another vantage spot below. Even despite the atmospheric music playing through the overhead speakers, nerves are so high it feels like a pin could drop.

Until, all rather suddenly, a gun is pressed to your back.

"Hey, B."

"Oh you motherfu-"

Before you can even finish, your vest is vibrating, the sound of a galactic gunshot echoing in the small space you're hidden in. The levels on your gun flash and dip for the first time. Across the main pathway, Hoseok is still screaming. There's no way you're winning this thing.

Twisting to face Jeongguk, you're met with his infuriatingly charming smile as his lip ring glistens in the selective lighting.

"How are you so quiet?!"

"You've been to my parent's house," he smirks, glancing down to check your levels are still flashing on your gun. Shrugging, he's quite clearly smug with his hit. "You know how thin the walls are. Learned to be light on my feet."

Unable to shoot back while you're still in 'recovery' mode, Jeongguk knows he has a little time to indulge in you. Makes the most of it.

"You know, you actually look really hot like this," he tells you, nodding at the combat gear. Gets a little closer. Clearly is still a little riled up from the way you'd teased him that morning. Taking a step back, you find yourself against the wall - which suits you fine. One less area of weakness. "Like, stupidly hot."

"You're fraternising with the enemy, Jeon," you whisper as he gets closer enough to nudge his nose up against yours. Jeongguk lets his laser gun fall slack over his shoulder. Has his hand beneath your jaw, thumb stroking up onto your cheek.

He nods. Brushes his lips against you as he husks, "That's kinda hot, too."

"Oh, c'mon," Yoongi whinges from the entryway in equal parts disgust and disappointment. He'd been expecting to find someone on the lookout, and also knew Jeongguk would likely have been on a similar route - he just didn't expect to find you two so bloody cosy. As his own hand slaps against his thigh, he's speechless. Just wails, "Really, Gguk?!"

Jeongguk doesn't wanna turn around. Can feel his cheeks flaming a shade so deep it could rival the red laser of his gun, which is currently pointing towards the floor.

A moment of weakness. A rarity.

One you'd be stupid to not indulge in.

You swiftly lean around Jeongguk. Whip your gun into position. Aim straight for Yoongi's chest and beam as brightly as a thousand suns when his vest begins to flash.

But you know Jeongguk has realised what you've done - and so at the speed of absolute lightning, you twist your gun back on itself and shoot at the target on Jeongguk's back. The vibrations ripple against you too, as both men curse you out, unable to get their own back while they're in 'recovery' mode.

Pulling yourself away from Jeongguk, you bolt for the entryway Jeongguk must have come from. "Bye, boys!"

You beeline straight for your home base, as you know that's where they'll be off to next. Seoyeon's still in position. Aims for you, until she realises you're on her team.

"Oh my god," she exclaims, and it sounds as if she's been holding her breath for hours. "I've been so scared. You never know who's gonna come round the corner!"

Nodding, you come to stand by her. "Gguk and Yoongi are upstairs. I got them both. Think they're gonna be looking for revenge."

And as you feel your vest vibrate with no indication of where a shot came from, you're proven right. Seoyeon chirps in surprise as her vest does the same.

"You bastard," you grin as Jeongguk walks into frame, and leans against a partition wall with all the casual arrogance you'd expect from him.

"Don't hate the player, baby. Hate the game."

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

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