#(where it's BECAUSE louis has taste that he can see he's not a great photographer

[pynkhues]

Speaking of Louis, Lestat and masculinity, I think a point that people always ignore is that Louis' masculinity is important to him and he's attached to gender roles/preconceptions far more than Lestat/the way Lestat is not. I think it's communicated in the show pretty well. It's why he feels comfortable in the role of the successful businessman to Lestat's supporting spouse, but not when the power dynamic is flipped, and why Lestat feels comfortable to be the supporting spouse as well. Your recent post reminded me of the "Come to me" lyrics, and I think Lestat placing himself in the feminine role of Mélisande is another example of that. Plus the Marie Antoinette dress (note Louis being kind of uncomfortable with the camp of it all lol).

I totally agree, anon. I think the show's pretty deliberate with the fact that Louis' at his most comfortable in his relationships with both Lestat and Armand when he's acting as the businessman / breadwinner and they're acting as the supportive spouse. I mention it in the post I think you're replying to, but Lestat playing host at The Azaelia and helping to manage the staff - presumably without being paid - very much plays into that sort of dynamic, and it's one Louis seems to be repeating with Armand in Dubai given Armand's helping to effectively administrate the sales of Louis' art investments. It's a form of unpaid domestic labour which in a loving relationship, can be completely fine, but does often come with (perceived or real) connotations of roles and a certain power dynamic.

A huge part of that I think is tied to Louis' sense of masculinity and the role he wants to take in his relationships, but I also think it comes from a genuine place of wanting to be the provider, which has likely been borne out of the role he took with his mother and siblings as a young man. I talk about that more here, but I do think he needs to feel like he can look after those he cares about, and I actually do think it comes from a pure place even though it can be and is often corrupted by the fact that he's capable of real cruelty and vindictiveness when he feels scorned (i.e. he wants to provide for Grace because he loves her, and he buys her that holiday for her honeymoon, and he wants her to have the house to raise her family in, but when she disowns him, he doubles down on that out of spite not because he's letting her go and moving on, but because he's holding her to it. He knows she and Levi could never afford it without him, and he really rubs that in her face at their mother's wake. She'll always be living in his house, and that once meant something pure and good and loving, albeit paternalistic, and now it fundamentally does not).

I didn't really go into it in that last post, but I also think Louis being a voracious reader is something that gets misread a bit sometimes. Like these days, it can feel like being well-read is more common with women, particularly in online spaces, but I absolutely see the connotations on the show of it being partially a performance of class and masculinity. That's not to say I don't think he genuinely loves reading - I really think he does, and I love that about him - but this is the 1910s through 1930s when hypermasculinity and wealth was very much tied to being well-read, and a lot of contemporary authors from William Faulkner to Ernest Hemingway to Joseph Conrad, were both depicting and exploring manhood in ways that were pretty formative for a generation of men.

On top of that, reading was a symbol of class because the only people who had the time or capacity to do it were people who were both educated and had money. Louis sitting on a park bench in a three piece suit reading Charles Darwin of all people is absolutely a show of class and masculinity, and the fact that it dovetails into a conversation about diet, again, is a broadcast of wealth and status. Sure, we're talking about eating people, but if you're looking at it as a metaphor, it's symbolic of Louis having' choices about what he eats when, which is inherently about having the means and status to do so.

Plus I feel it's pretty important context for Louis and Lestat's bickering in 1.05 when Louis' reading Madame Bovary - Lestat calls Louis a snob, and Louis goes in by basically calling Lestat shallow and uncultured, which is a) very funny to me, personally, I love it when they're mean to each other, haha, but also b) I think very much evident of Louis' feelings of masculinity, particularly given it happens directly after he cites Claudia calling him the unhappy housewife. Again, Louis' rejecting that role - the house is a mess (so they've either fired their staff, or they've quit), Louis' not going to do it and neither is Lestat, and Louis' sprawled on the couch reading from his husband's library and dragging him for being too frivolous to read them.

Again, I think Louis genuinely loves reading, but I also do think for him it's fundamentally a part of his identity as a Cultured, Intellectual Man. It's why he doesn't take to the campiness of the Theatres des Vampires, or as you said, get involved in lestat's Mardi Gras performance (I'm always sooo fascinated by the fact that we don't get a reaction shot of Louis to that sequence at all - again! It feels loaded!) I think his sense of masculinity is, well, pretty traditionally masculine, and I think it's pretty vital to his self-image.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Twelve)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Eleven ※※※※※ Chapter Thirteen

I approach my boyfriend seeing him completely tense. The long, callused fingers from the guitar strings tightening in distress. His eyes didn't know where to look, staring into the spotlight like they were monsters from his childhood.

The thick brown coat was a few sizes too big for him, but he's still beautiful all the same. On the eyelids, a black eye shadow ending with a pink tip gave it a charm. The lip balm seemed to bring out the color of his lips, making me restless to kiss him.

“I don't know if it was a good idea.” Luke, let out all the air as I wrap my arms around his neck.

“It was a great idea! You look awesome.” I bite my lip, controlling the urge to take him into a room and do various indecent things. “Just relax and enjoy. As in a play.” I advise him, trying to calm him down."

Ever since the invitation for him to be the face of this perfume had arrived, I was bursting with pride and anticipation to see him doing his photo shoot, following something completely different from the band.

"Don't you think it's too exaggerated?" he asks, unsure of the look. I hold his face in my hands, touching our foreheads. I allow myself to drown in his blue eyes.

“You look handsome.” I say slowly, so he can record my words well. “Now, let's get this quick, because seeing you like this is making me very excited and I don't know how long I can take it.” I sigh, uneasy. Hemmo gives a nice laugh. Glad to see him more relaxed.

Watch out when the photographer yells for them to start. I give my boyfriend a little kiss, ready to pull away, but Luke holds me in his arms still.

“I love you!” he whispers, like a secret.

“I love you!” I give him a little kiss on the tip of his nose. "Anything just scream, I'll be right there." I blink at him.

I take a few steps back, not taking my eyes off his. So as not to bump into anything and make a mess of his work, I turn around, running behind the spotlights and flashbulbs.

I watched the photo shoot totally proud and delighted. Little by little Luke was loosening up and having fun. I don't wipe the smile off my lips, so every time he looks at me, he smiles more.

Nearly three hours later, my excitement was already making me irritated that photo shoot wasn't over and I feel like I lost all control when in the last costume, where Luke rips the white blouse. I hold my breath, staring at the ceiling, wondering how I'm going to make it home and calculating which is closest.

~.~.~.~.~

We left the elevator hand in hand and in hurried steps, we weren't running, but whoever passed us realized we were in a hurry. I squeeze his hand seeing the door with the number 609.

"Thank God." I comment euphoric as Luke opens the door.

He walks in and pulls me to his chest. His hand tangles in the hairs on the back of my neck, enveloping us in a desperate kiss. Urgently, I open the buttons on his shirt, feeling his other hand find my ass, squeezing hard.

I force the fabric to slide down his arms, enjoying the texture of his warm skin. The tequila flavor still inhabits our mouths, which makes the kiss better, plus the soft touch of his lips pressed against mine.

I roll my eyes as his beard scrapes my neck, along with his hot mouth, giving me goose bumps.

“The door.” I say with difficulty, noticing it ajar.

Together, we staggered back a few steps, closing it. Without much patience and with a lot of desire, we ended up staying there. Hemmings presses me against the wood, pulling me into his lap. I scratch the back of his neck when I feel his erection against me, releasing the electricity that seems to rush through my body.

It was amazing how seeing him on stage, with those tight pants and silk shirts moving me. Honestly, he can wear anything, and at the end of the day I'll be falling for him. Not to mention the eyes full of glitter. He had me in the palm of his hands like that. So beautiful. So magnificent.

Luke always knew this look messed with my hormones and destroyed my self-control, and in the end it always ended up like that, having sex, because I couldn't help myself.

Of course, the drink has a big weight in this, but I'm not going to take our blame for this story, after all, we teased each other from the moment we stepped into that dressing room.

The desperation and excitement is such that we reach our first orgasm right there, against the door. No foreplay, no undressing completely, and not caring if anyone passing in the hallway heard anything.

It was something far above lust or desire. Despair to feel our skins against each other. Taste and touch. That feeling of feeling incredible, loved, wanted, as if the only chance to stay alive was there inside of us.

I wake up in a jump. My heart pounded, causing pain. My body seemed to boil, prompting me to kick the covers off quickly. The fresh memory of the dream causes shivers. The way I felt his touch, all those sensations and reactions my body gave.

I lie down on the bed again, wanting to calm down and not think too much about the dream, or what else seemed like, memories. I don't know how to handle it, these are the first sexual memories I have with him. My God, how am I going to look at Luke now?

I pick up my phone, which poin just over an hour earlier than I planned to wake up. Since I know I won't be able to get back to sleep anymore, so I start getting ready for today's meeting.

I decide to have breakfast first and once again review my past contract to get a sense of what will be discussed. Between one paragraph and another, I browse my social networks seeing what's going on.

Without being impressed anymore, I watch a little video or two that some fans make about Hemmo and me. Slightly, I melt at the way we look and smile at each other.

I go back to my room, and head for a shower. I hope that water takes those memories from earlier today down the drain, but the steam seems to open more fields in my brain.

I close my eyes, feeling various parts of my body tingle, as if he's there, touching me, holding me. My breath heaves and my belly tightens. What the fuck is going on?

Cheating on me yet again, my brain presents me with the two of us on the floor of that hotel room. In my kitchen. In the car. In some bathroom. Some of the countless times we'd lost ourselves in each other's arms.

The many times I ran my hands over his chest, drawing a new path, as I thought in that hospital hall. The times his mouth wandered over my body, his hands took me with such force and conviction.

The phone ringtone brings me back to reality. I turn off the alarm and hurry my shower. With Noah's guidance, I change into something comfortable and a bucket hat Calum gave me to hide my pink hair.

After a few hours, I find myself analyzing a huge photo of myself at the Hastings agency reception. With Noah, I follow a huge hallway to a conference room, where Mr. Hastings and a lawyer would be waiting for us. The twin next to me has a hard face, which is weird since Noah is always so excited and smiling.

“Marnie, dear! Long time no see! How have you been? Did you receive my basket?” Mr. Hastings question me without waiting for me to walk right into the room.

“Hi! I'm great and yes, I loved the basket, it was very kind.” I squeeze his hand, not knowing quite what to do.

“Hello son!” it's not exactly a warm welcome, but I want to believe it's just because we're in a work environment, dealing with serious matters.

“Hi Dad. Can we start?” my friend guides me to a chair.

During the meeting, Mr. Hastings clarified some news of the new contract. Things like: salary increase, partnership with new brands and the whole process of publicizing the names that already worked with us.

“Closing here, you will go to the closet to take new measurements. These numbers will be sent to the brands that hired you and they will send you clothes for you to use on a daily basis. For example: if you go out with Leah for coffee, you must wear a Louis Vuitton coat, so the photos you take will publicize the coat and well, nowadays young people find everything and want everything you wear. You will get a scale of which brands to use, so it's easier for you.” Mr. Hastings explains by summarizing a contract sheet.

As for photo shoots, until my arm gets better and I can get rid of the cast, I'll be limited to rehearsals on jewelry, makeup, glasses and shoes. On my hair, if the contracting brand determines, I will have to wear a wig.

I keep mentally reading every line of that contract, wondering if I could handle it all. Well, you’ve handle it for the past two years, it shouldn't be that hard.

As determined, after the meeting, Noah walks me to the closet. A huge space where had several clothes and accessories, as in The Devil Wears Prada. My measurements are taken and I get annoyed when the guy who's putting the measuring tape around my waist grumbles that I've put on weight.

The bad thing about being a model is it, this constant imposition of a perfect body. Since the accident, I don't remember seeing anyone on Leah's foot for her to lose weight or keep her body. I always watched her nervous appetite, not caring if it would add to her number on the scale.

Okay that Leah's biotype was skinny and maybe that made things easier for her. But since I understand myself by people, I've always been short and broad hiped and never cared. And even if I erased a few years, I don't think I've changed much.

From the reflection in the mirror, Noah sinalized for me not to care what the guy says, but I think it's kind of difficult. It's not just him talking about my body, it seems like everyone on the internet has an opinion about my weight, especially some Luke fans.

Blocking in my mind, the offensive words that I always end up reading through social media. However, I keep watching my body in the mirror, wondering if it wouldn't be better to lose some weight.

Soon after having my measurements taken, Noah is called to a meeting with his father and a french businessman, leaving me alone. As I wait for the car to arrive, I consider what I can do on my last day off. Everyone is working and I don't want to disturb anyone.

Finally, I decide to go to my mom's office and have lunch with her. I go down at the door of a huge, mirrored building. At the front desk, I ask about her office, getting a badge before I go upstairs.

The frosted glass door holds a huge space, which occupies one/quarter of the eighth floor. The various prints, fabrics, furniture and color palettes create a fun atmosphere, contrasting with the white walls of the place.

"Marnie! Hey!” a woman with curly hair, tied up in a purple turban, approaches with a huge smile.

“Hi.” I reply politely, but having no idea who she is.

“Oh, sorry.” she seems to notice. “I'm Dominique, your mother's partner.” I open a bigger smile, now informed. "Have you come to see her?" she guides me in the office inside.

“Oh yes, I came to have lunch with her.” Dominique smiles broadly and sympathetically.

"She's going to love the surprise. She's just finishing up with a customer. Want something while you wait?”

“Oh no, thanks!”

Dominique walks away, making it clear that anything was just asking, that I was home. I'm amazed at how things evolved for my mom, before she just had a small room away from the center and now she had all this space and staff.

I watch several people go from one place to another, making projects, budgeting, designing furniture and spaces. My mother's laugh brings me back just in time to see her in her office doorway, rosy cheeks, awkwardly in Mr. Marshall's company.

I open a smile finding the scene adorable. I look for Dominique, hoping she hasn't shut up in her office yet, as she might know something about the two of them. I find the brunette, leaning against the reception desk smiling like me.

"Marnie?" I turn quickly, finding Mr. Marshall next to me. “How have you been?” I hug him while my mother stands wide-eyed in the door.

He hadn't changed much. The face that was once smooth now had a very charming gray beard. The hair was still dark.

“I'm great, thanks. It's great to see you.” I keep my smile, finding it all wonderful, unlike my mother.

“I'm sorry about the accident. I would have send you something, but I didn't have your address and it was a little difficult to reach your mother.” he admits sympathetically. Have I told how much I like him?

“No problems. I’m grateful for your consideration and about you have found my mother again. Isn’t, mom?” her gaze at me turns withering. I'm screwed.

“Well, I'm also very happy to have found Debra again.”

I hold the 'awn' who insists on wanting to leave, when he smiles delightedly at my mother. Man, he's so into her.

“Hm, sorry to be rude, but taking advantage of our meeting, I want to invite you to a new restaurant location opening. It will be this Wednesday.”

“Oh, I'm honored. It will be a pleasure. Right, mom?” I watch my mother want to sink into the ground and disappear, and I can't help think how funny is it. "Do you mind if I invite my friends?"

“No! Of course not! Feel free.” he opens a gentle smile. His gaze flies to my mother and there they stare at each other for a few seconds. “Well, I have to go. Debra, thank you so much for the project, it's beautiful. Marnie, it was a pleasure to see you. Until Wednesday.” he hugs me again. With my mother, I notice them without knowing how to say goodbye.

I wait for Mr. Marshall to leave the office to let out the sigh caught in my throat, which my mother doesn't like.

“Stop this!” she slaps me on my back. I walk into her room laughing at the whole past situation.

“My God, you guys are so in love. Why don't you just assume it?” I ask, sitting in the chair across from her desk.

"Because there isn’t nothing to assume. It's a professional relationship.” she replies angrily, setting the table.

“Mom?” I call her, until she looks at me. I raise an eyebrow, emphasizing that I don't believe her.

Her shoulders slump, letting go of the tension. I watch her hide her face in hands after a sigh. Her eyes catch mine and a nasal laugh breaks the silence, then I see her there, shy and unsure, a small smile, which soon opens, reflecting all over her face.

"I don’t have age for this anymore. I mean…” she takes a bunch of flowers from behind the table. “Look at this.”

"Awn." I cover my face, not taking it. “Of course you have agr for this. If my father can find someone and be happy, then of course you can too. Mom, you're young and beautiful, and there's an amazing guy who's into you. He's clearly in love and apparently he's been doing everything he can to demonstrate, you should give him and… you a chance.” I finish in a whisper, touching myself that those words were good for me too.

I replay in my mind everything Luke has been doing, trying to win me back, and I'm glad that, somehow, I giving both of us a chance, even if it's a non date. I let out a laugh at the memory of the invitation, before letting my mind drift back to this morning's memories.

“I think you're right. Maybe on Wednesday, I can talk to him.” her red cheeks make me smile more.

“It's a great idea. How about we discuss this over lunch?” I suggest, listening to my belly come alive.

“Great idea.” she picks up the phone, dialing something.

Since I had nothing to do, I stay until early afternoon with my mother, gossiping about her crush on Mr. Marshall, about my relationship with Luke, about the meeting and our Wednesday night outfit.

Dominique joins us in a few moments, having fun with my passionate and nervous mom.

Around 3pm, Ashton calls, inviting me out for coffee, just him and me, like old times.

“Why can't I go? Do you not love me anymore?” I cover my mouth, stopping the laughter from coming out, when I hear Calum yell..

“Yeah! I can't take you anymore. How am I going to talk bad about you if you're there?” Ash replies.

"You are talking here. What does it matter to talk there? At least that way you buy me coffee.” Calum rebuts. While the couple argue, I listen to the fight, paying attention to the details of the ceiling.

"Are you still arguing? What the fuck is just coffee? Who is so important for all this? The pope?” I hear Luke arrive and realize he doesn't know I'm the guest.

“It's actually Marnie and from my experiences she's very important to some of the people here.” I don't need to see Ash's face to know he's making fun of Luke.

"Can I go?" I bite my lip, holding back the laugh.

“If you let him go and I don't, I'll never look you in the face again.” Calum gives the ultimatum.

“I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm still here and would like the DTR resolved if possible.” I say out loud, hoping it works.

“Sorry, Marnie. Five seconds.” Irwin asks. I think about making a joke with the band's name, but it's better to leave it alone.

"Is she listening?" Luke speaks in amazement. “Why do you…” then everything becomes too muffled and I can't hear.

“Enough! Nobody goes but me. I want to go out with my friend and I will. Marnie was right, I shouldn't have introduced you.” I hear Ash mumble, causing me to laugh. “Give me your address, I'll be there in a few minutes.”

We ended the call and I return to questioning my friendships. Why God? Why?

Sitting at a small table on the sidewalk, Ash and I discuss which coffee to drink. It wasn't very difficult to know that he loves coffee and understands a lot about the subject, which gives me complete confidence in letting him choose which one I should try.

When the cup reaches the table, I taste the drink under his hopeful, curious gaze. I open a smile, approving of my best friend's choice. I hi-five him, celebrating.

"It was the coffee you had the first time we went out together." he comments with a cute smile.

“Awn, Ash!” I can't stand the way they always remember everything. "So, ready to officially become older tomorrow?" I crack a smile, excited about our dinner tomorrow.

“No! I found a white hair this morning.” he grumbles, eliciting a laugh from me.

“I don’t see anything.” I comment, trying to cheer him up.

"I wasn’t talking about my top hair." he comments, drinking his coffee next.

"Ashton!" I reprimand him, covering my eyes, traumatized. “I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it.”

I hear his laugh, letting me laugh too. The problem with having intimacy is exactly that, your friends no longer filter out what to say to you.

“So why didn't you bring Cool Guy Cal?” I change the subject.

“Because I spend the whole day with them, I can't stand to look at those disgusting faces anymore.” I laugh, imagining what a mess that studio must be. "And how am I going to speak ill of him with him here?" I complete this last part with him, laughing. “Exactly.”

“And you have something bad to say?” Ash shakes his head.

“No! Cal is an amazing guy.” Boys… “But I wanted to spend time with my best friend. After the accident it was difficult to have time alone. How are you?” I shrug.

"Surviving. It's only been a month and it seems like, I don't know, six. There's still so much I'm discovering.” I look at my coffee thoughtfully as I twirl the spoon in it.

"Finding out what? Your feelings for Luke?” he mocks. I scold him softly, laughing. This is a sensitive subject. "So how was the kiss?" I spit half the hot drink back into the cup.

I look at my friend in full alert. I can't believe Luke told him. We had agreed to wait a while. Irwin kept his smile curious, waiting for my answer.

“I’m sorry…?” he raised his eyebrows and then it hit me. He played and I delivered. "Ashton!" I kick your shin.

“Ouch! You who kiss and I who get beaten?” he rubs his shin, confused.

“How did you find out?” My God, does everyone know already? "Have you told anyone?"

“No! I didn't say anything and I didn't even try it with Luke. But how do you think I wouldn't notice? I've known him for years. He comes down Sunday morning, all smiling, all silly, more than usual. Super in a good mood after a party like that. Hemmings never wakes up in a good mood.”

I take a sip of my coffee, wanting to hide my smile.

“And about you?! You're my best friend! It's easy to see what's going on. Even more after what I already followed the first time. So?” the australian asks curiously, causing me to laugh.

"It was just a kiss. I don't know, it was automatic, and I ended up giving him a little kiss, and he took advantage of the break and kissed me. And I left.” my cheeks heat up as I hold in the sassy smile.

“And what does that mean?” he drops into his chair. I shrug.

“I do not know. I like Luke's company. I really like! He makes me feel safe and so unique. He's fun and so silly.”

"That he is!" Ash comments in a whisper, making me laugh.

“And I like it all, but…” the words don't come out anymore.

“You are afraid.” he completes.

"What if he gets to know me better and he doesn't like this Marnie?" I dry swallow. Ashton grimaces thoughtfully, considering my question.

“Nah!” he shakes his head, dismissing the possibility. “Luke loves you, Marnie. And you know this.” He points a finger at me. I look down, embarrassed. “The only thing left is for you to understand and accept how you feel about him. Of course, in your time, no pressure.” he adds quickly.

My heart speeds up with the direction of the conversation. I organize in my mind all the events that happened between Luke and me. All your discreet and indiscreet advances. All his looks and smiles at me, his shy, goofy way.

On the other side, I put everything that we lived before the accident. Everything I saw and remembered. I stare at Ashton, slumped in his chair, waiting for my answer. I take a deep breath, nodding my head positively.

“I think I already know how I feel about him.”

[rosesnink]

Revealings Of The Heart (Hayley x Ernest)

A/N: A few weeks ago, I got this ask of my dear friend @missameliep​ asking about Hayley and Ernest’s first kiss. So I thought to make a whole one shot so it is better explained, because it has been in my mind for months how they could kiss and in a better, more appropiate age for both of them. 

Summary: Hayley graduated a few days ago and is about to go back to England to start her adult life, but an unexpected visit with a very shocking revelation makes her life make a spin of 365º. 

Hayley packed the last piece of cloth, hoping that she packed her necessities and has sold some things she didn’t need: uni books she didn’t enjoy to new fellow students, clothes she grew to loathe, ugly presents from former relationships and even has made some essays to lazy but rich people who had nothing to lose. Of course, Directora Nieto suspected, but found no proof because uni teachers did not pay attention to anything that were plagiarism on online essays, not even the detail of handwriting or narrating.

“Tú, Hayls, ya tienes todo listo?” Her roomie, Andrea, asked.

“Si, todo listo. Mi vuelo vendrá a la tarde-noche.” She replied.

Andrea sat on the luggage, knowing well what came next: closing off everything.

“Oh, boy, here we go again.”

She was taking her last stroll over the city when she got a call “Hol—”.

“Hayley! Remember me? I’m Lydia Sinclaire!” Mrs. Sinclaire beamed.

“I do! I do.”

“I’m in Madrid now on a business trip on my husband’s behalf. Please tell me I can see you!”.

Hayley chuckled “Sure, no problem. Let me text you an address and I’ll meet you in twenty.”

Hayley sent her the address to Gran Via and she lost no time, taking a taxi and stopped on that famous building of Madrid everyone started to go. She found her visit in the middle of the street, looking anxious. She caught her arm and the woman twisted it and she cried of pain! Then, she let go of it and gasped “Oh! Sorry, darling, I thought you were an attacker.”

She winced before laughing “Don’t worry. That was actually impressive. Shall we?”.

The woman nodded as they both walked towards the fancy building and got into the elevator, where it was just the two of them. Hayley then fished from her bag a dress and took off her shirt and pants, startling Mrs. Sinclaire! She put on the black dress and placed the clothes on her back. She fished her small make-up bag and put on red gloss and a quick and accurate eyeliner of the shape of an eye cat. She finally let her hair loose and put on some perfume from a very tiny bag. She placed it all in her bag and laughed at Mrs. Sinclaire’s shocked expression “What? Don’t tell me you never did this when my age?”.

“No! I was too much of a good girl. Good Lord, when did you learn these things?!”.

“Before renting a flat, I lived with my maternal grandfather who is very conservative, but my grandma taught me a trick or two. He never found out of our schemes.”

Lydia laughed shocked but amused at it “And why do you still do it?”.

“Because you never know when you’re invited to a drinking in the street in twenty minutes or to a clandestine party at a forbidden place?”.

“My God, and I thought English women were rebellious…”.

“Spanish people love three things: food, parties and holidays, and everything free. Drinking is their culture. There are some those who don’t like it or stay in, but some of them are known for that, especially the Southern! Partying in Andalusia and Valencia is the Spanish Vegas, and in some occasions, the European Vegas.”

The elevator dinged and they both entered when they saw Hayley’s attire and passed them to VIP.

After some chit-chat, Mrs. Sinclaire shook her head in disbelief “So you’ve graduated top of your class in Complutense but haven’t got a job yet? Need I to put you in good word with anybody?”.

“No, but thanks. I don’t want my rich family to interfere, I wanna earn it, like my friends here.”

The woman raised the glass “I’ll drink to that.”

When her pint returned to the table, she asked “How’s your family? I understand they’re all well?”.

“Hm, my husband is resisting cancer and my son is growing taller and more handsome by the day. Already 23 and showing a great promise in the family business!” She fished her phone and showed a pic of him where he wasn’t aware he was being photographed. He looked very handsome, really: his curls were now softer and he was taller than before -he couldn’t be more than 6’8 or how Spanish said, 1’90 metres- and his features had hardened and there was a hint of a beard on his chin.

“He is… taller. Last time I saw him he was 6’5 feet tall and I was, like, 5’8.”

“My dear, you were 17 by then! You’re 21 now. He won’t admit it, but he has missed you.”

Her heart accelerated, but kept a poker face “He did?”.

“Yes! Always asking if you’d be home by Christmas or the festivities. His birthdays haven’t been the same without you there.”

She chuckled bitterly “I highly doubt that…”.

She pulled her shoulder teasingly “They have been! He was always so sad he didn’t have any present of yours…”.

She shook her head in disbelief and Lydia looked at her earnestly “During years, he has awaited for your reply to his mobile message. He was a bit depressed that you didn’t answer, even though he told you he was in love with you!”.

Her head whipped to her direction “He what? W-what message?”.

“One call he made you when you first got to Madrid! Here, I’ve got a copy.”

She played it and Hayley could hardly believe it.

Hayley, I know I should feel ashamed. Our age difference is concerning, but you’re leaving now and I cannot hide it any longer. I must unburden myself before it consumes me: I am courting a woman, yes, but she is not you. Every time I look at her, she reminds me that she isn’t you. That she doesn’t have your mysterious green eyes I could get lost looking at all the time, or your lips, or the way you speak, so hypnotic… It is no secret to anyone but you that I am in love with you, and I wish to be yours in the most respectful way. Please call me back if you hear this. If your feelings aren’t the same, I will remain your most ardent, humble and loyal friend.

The message ended and Hayley was wide-eyed, in complete disbelief and speechless. She remembers the kind guy, Carlos, who turned out to be obsessed with her escorting her and left her phone there with him, when one of the reasons she went to study aboard was that the man she was in love with and had broken up a relationship with didn’t like her back, indeed liked her back all this time!

“How long?”.

“Since he was 14.”

She rested her head on her palms “Fuck.” She was stunned, very stunned and undone “I must go to England now. I have to tell him before I bury it deep again. Here, have some euros for the ride and the check, I have a flight to take.”

Mrs. Sinclaire smiled, knowing she did well in telling her, knowing that hours ago, Ernest was aware that Hayley returned his affections too. Her plan was almost complete.

Five hours ago, in England

“You’ve got it all, Mother?”

“Yes, I’m waiting for one last mail, can you grab it yourself?”

Ernest frowned “Why?”

“Because I have to go to the bathroom and I’ll tell you anyways the content of it.”

He shrugged “Fair enough.”

He snagged some letters that he passed through: bills, more bills, a letter from Hayley Parker—he stopped in short.

Yes, that was indeed Hayley Parker’s handwriting. He opened it, taking care that his mother wasn’t staring before he read it.

Dear Ernest:

I know I have no right, that I am far too young to you, but I don’t think I can ignore this any longer.

I’m in love with you, Ernest. It was never Louis, or James, or Peter. It was you, Ernest. It was you all along, it has always and will always be you. And if there’s someone else, I do not want them, I want you.

I am aware that you are with someone else, but I must know before I decide before I go. I must know what it’s in your heart.

Maybe I was afraid that you’d reject me for being too young or childish for you, but I know you’re not that kind of guy. I know it. I know you.

If there is any chance that there could be a you and I, please meet me at the gates of my flight.

Love,

Hayley.

His heart raced as he started to take it all in.

All this time, she felt the same! But then, who avoided him receiving this letter those five years ago?

He thought as he tried not to sound too interested in when would Hayley come back.

Then, his phone rang. Felicity Holloway. He answered politely “Yes?”

“Hello, Ernest! I was thinking about whether we should get a coffee and talk. Remember that my father said five years ago that I’d be a good girlfriend to you in that dinner? Well, I was thinking—.”

“Felicity, may I know when was that dinner? I’m in a bit of a hurry. Business to get done.”

Could she be cruel enough to do that?

“Oh, that was in the 12th of December, after we got rid of that scum of Parker—.”

He couldn’t even stop himself “So it was you, then?”

“I-I’m sorry?”

“You knew about the letter. The one where Hayley confessed she reciprocated my feelings for her!”

“I—.”

“We will talk soon about privacy… and boundaries.” And then, he hanged up.

His mother emerged and placed a hand on his shoulder “Go, my boy. Run to her. Do not become her father. No matter what, go to her.”

He didn’t know how, but he understood that weren’t for his mother, this couldn’t be happening.

So he ran. And ran. And ran. He didn’t stop, even though there was a small drizzle going on.

He arrived at Westminster Bridge, a bit soaked and panting. He couldn’t believe his eyes. There she was, older, a bit tanner and more beautiful than ever. They looked at each other in the eyes. She approached him slowly, and so did he. And then, they were close. Two more steps and he was all hers.

“Ernest, I—.”

He kissed her, without thinking, he just kissed her. And she kissed him back, her hands on his shoulder and hair, not noticing that some paparazzis followed them. Ernest felt like in heaven. Her lips, with the taste of mint as he dreamed many times, duplicated, now mint and a bit of coffee and cherry lipstick. And it tasted so good. He begged her closer and she obliged, biting his lip, making him shudder. They finally separated, now noticing that people were applauding and it was raining heavily, but his mind was too fuzzy, his only thought Hayley.

“Hayley… Hayls. I must know… do you truly have feelings for me?”

She kissed him again, now a bit shortly, a small smile on her lips “I do. Do you?”

“For longer than I care to admit.”

She chuckled, noticing that her makeup was now a mess all over her face and the powerful rain now sent her a chill through her body. Ernest quickly gathered his jacket and placed it on her shoulders and scolded the paparazzis for interrupting a moment.

He called a cab, paying the ride as he handed her a napkin to clean her face. Even though she was all a mess, she was still beautiful. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She smiled at him “So, what does this make us?”

The cab stopped on her townhouse and he took her hand and guarded her on the porch and looked at her “It’d make you my girlfriend, if that is what you want of me.”

She beamed at him, encircling her hands on his shoulders “I’d like nothing more.”

And with that, they kissed again, under the rain, happily knowing that somehow, this wouldn’t end.  

[florenc-ia]

These are my last reads, took me some time but oh well. Enjoy

Give Me Truths 110k

Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.

Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

chances under the purple sunrise 28k

“You’ve been taking my shoes?” Louis asked, scoffing. “I paid a lot for them!”

“How unfortunate for you.” Harry smiled bitterly. He peeked over Louis, eyeing the hook that still had the worm.

The red box was open right next to him. Harry saw that inside, it had a couple of transparent containers that were filled with worms, too. He eyed Louis skeptically before nodding. “Right. I’ll give you your, er…. little boats back if you let me have the tub of worms.”

A groan crawled out from Louis, his head falling back and his eyes landing up at the clear sky. “I need those.”

“They’re food for myself and others, not to be used as bait.”

*

Or the one where Harry is a merman, prince of the Atlantic Ocean, whose curiosity and healthy envy takes over him and he steals Louis' shoes every time he fishes.

Absolutely amazing it’s so beautiful and cute I loooooved it

Oh Glory 21k

Tomlinson looks Liam over, tilting his head. “Are you a swimmer as well?”

“Yeah,” Liam says, a little cautiously. Harry wonders if it’s Tomlinson’s fame or the unimpressed eyebrow that’s making Liam wary. “Distance, I’m doing the 1500m. Harry here’s a sprinter.”

“Ah,” says Tomlinson, turning his glinting eyes back to Harry. “So you’re not an endurance man.” A beat passes, and his grin grows, wide and filthy. "Shame."

Harry Styles is Team Great Britain's newest swimmer, and has spent his whole life training for this moment, a chance at the gold medal in the Rio 2016 Olympics. All his training, hard work, and dedication to no distractions is tested when he's assigned to the same Rio apartment as Louis Tomlinson, British gymnast and Harry's childhood crush.

Torn On The Platform 27k

AU where harry and louis are strangers but they always get the same train to work in the morning and one day harry falls asleep on louis’ shoulder. louis wants to be annoyed because harry just broke a least seven rules of tube conduct but he looks so soft and peaceful that he just lets him sleep and wakes him ever so carefully when it’s his stop. it happens again and again until it becomes a regular thing where louis will let harry snooze and then gently nudge him awake, hand him the cup of coffee he took from him so it wouldn’t slip and spill everywhere and send him off with a “have fun at work, love” and after the tenth time harry isn’t even embarrassed anymore.

In a sky full of stars, be my Northern lights 13k

It's one of those nights there's nothing on the telly that Louis absently scrolls through Tinder. After swiping left on a bunch of profiles he comes face to face with a picture that stops him in his tracks. The picture is..almost sweet. It’s a boy with brown curly hair, wearing a very low cut yellow blouse, paired with a black jacket. He’s got a smile on his face and his tongue sticking out, but it’s not in any way lewd or suggestive. He just looks like he’s having a good time, and something about the innocence of it has him swiping right rather than left.

He’s barely checked the other pictures on the boy's profile before Tinder confirms that he’s got a match. The shots are so different from the pictures Louis is used to on Tinder - half naked boys who are smoldering at the camera - that he can’t help but smile.

It quickly turns into a frown when he opens up the message he’s just received.

Harry: Hello!

Harry: Thank you for swiping right

Harry: I have a proposition for you

baby we could be enough (I’ll make this feel like home) 52k

“Did you clean the table?” Harry asks Louis once Rose is done speaking, now occupied with trying to see if she can reach over and touch Harry’s hair from where she’s sat. At Louis’ nod, Harry frowns. “You didn’t have to do that. You’re my guests here, I could’ve dealt with it later.”

Louis just smiles easily, though, adjusting Rose on his lap so that she’s facing Harry better. She manages to tug on a loose wave of hair, and she makes a noise of triumph that both Louis and Harry smile at.

“I don’t mind,” Louis murmurs to Harry, even though he’s looking at Rose. “This one here seemed very excited to talk to you.”

And, okay. Harry can’t help but think of how domestic this feels, all of a sudden.

[harry is a photographer who's trying to find his place. louis is a single father with a smile that feels like home.]

That’s How I Know 19k

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

Never Too Late 18k

Harry’s confused for a moment before it hits him: the little boy is signing. Harry squats down to get to the boy’s level again and mirrors the same action.

“Dad?” He inquires. Harry learned basic sign language after having met a fan who was deaf. He made it his mission to learn signing so that he’d be able to communicate with other fellow hearing impaired fans.

The little boy smiles brightly, his tears now long gone. He goes on to extend both hands, palms up as if he’s asking where? Followed by the previous sign which means Dad. Harry smiles to himself at the amazing little guy standing in front of him.

He stands up taking the boy’s hand, “Let’s go find your dad,” he tells him making the motion with his hand.

Just having come out of the closet and recovering from vocal surgery, famous recording artist Harry Styles needs to get away from LA to work on new music needing to prove to his label that his career isn't over. Little does he know that his life is about to change forever when he runs into an old friend at the city he's decided to escape to.

Truth Be Told (I Never Was Yours) 76k

Harry watches Louis as he scrunches up his nose and bites the end of a pen in concentration. He’s been working on seating arrangements for the past hour and getting more frustrated by the minute. Louis huffs out a breath and glances down at Harry with a soft smile on his lips before he returns to the task at hand. It’s easy, right then, for Harry to let himself believe that they’re planning a seating chart for their own wedding and bickering over who is going to sit where from a list of their own family members. He can let himself daydream about a white picket fence and a dog that they could have within the next year.

It’s like a cold slap in the face when Harry looks to the top of the page to see “Aiden and Louis Grimshaw” at the head table, and Harry has to mentally remind himself for the thousandth time that Louis is not his. Never was, really. He’s just the wedding planner that’s been in love with Louis since he was sixteen.

(or the one where Louis and Harry have a complicated past, Louis is getting married to someone that’s not Harry, and the universe has decided to have a laugh and make Harry the wedding planner.)

Even Angels Have Their Demons 53k

Louis is appointed the role of Guardian Angel, and his first mission is a boy named Zayn Malik. Unfortunately, it seems that a certain Demon has gotten to him first.

Or... an Angel/Demon AU where Angel Louis hates Demon Harry, but somewhere along the way that stops being so true.

Three French Hems 20k

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

In Dreams 23k

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

Say It Somehow 129k

Louis Tomlinson may be one of the most respected actors on the West End, but he's terrible at knowing how to act around Harry Styles.

The story of two people who find each other at just the right time, featuring first dates, sleepovers, heartbreak, lots of sex, baked goods, overpriced bedsheets, and musical theatre references galore.

A Darker Shade of Love 750k

Louis is a 30 year old multi-billionaire with a very dark past. He is violent and is a sadist with a taste for pain.

Harry Styles is a 19 year old student who sets out to London after being kicked out by his homophobic father to follow his dreams. He wants to go to the best University to study but he needs a lot of money so he starts to work as a part time stripper at a gay club to support his studies and his life.

The club he works at, Garland's, is part owned by Louis Tomlinson. When they meet, its life changing for the both of them.

Ok so this one has very sensitive content. It’s very well written but if you can understand this is all fiction then you’re good. Be careful reading it if you think you might get triggered

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up.

”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

Waiting for the tides to meet 59k

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

[louandhazaf]

Happy Birthday to me! This year I want to celebrate all the incredible authors who have gifted me fics through the years. Please go give these fics some love! #piscesseason

Mercedes Boy by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 5374 words There's a surprise waiting at home for Louis after he finishes his day on the tracks at the Mercedes AMG Driving Experience. This was the first fic every written for me and it will always have a special place in my heart. For those who don't know, I am obsessed with "AMG Louis" because it's at the cross of loves of automotive sports and dirtbag Louis. And Lauren took that and made a super hot, super tender fic about fucking in a car. I love everything about it.

Cigarette in my left hand, whole world in my right hand by wearetheluckyones Tomlinshaw, Explicit, 5833 words Harry's had some really bad ideas before, starting with the time he got pissed and jumped into the Thames stark naked, but this might take the fucking cake. Offering up Louis as a viable option for a model for Nick's last photography project is ludicrous at best and a disaster waiting to happen at worst. I wanted to read some photographer!Nick and model!Louis and then I also got uni!Tomlinshaw and a nature walk and talks about flowers and a BUNNY and basically this is also very hot and very tender and I was THRILLED to recieve it.

You're my fault, my weakness by wearetheluckyones Tomlinshaw, Explicit, 2197 words It’s been six months since Nick’s project, and Christmas and Louis’s birthday are coming up fast. Louis’s invited Nick to his family’s place for the holidays, and Nick can’t help but be nervous. THEN THIS AUTHOR WROTE MORE IN THIS VERSE???? Like, HELLO, I am in love with everything.

Mixtape by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, General, 927 words From Find You Home, this is Louis' POV when they first leave home to drive to his family's house for Christmas. When I read Find You Home I was utter obsessed with the idea of Louis making Harry a mixtape full of songs with hidden meaning, that expressed everything he couldn't say to Harry, how much time and effort he'd put into the thing, and then when he gives it to Harry, Harry literally tosses it aside. My heart! It aches! How carelessly cruel of Harry! I wanted all of the angst of Louis Going Through It and I basically forced Lauren to write this for me. She's the best.

Can We Talk for a Moment? by lululawrence Larry, Not Rated, 15737 words It was widely known that alphas were never as common as betas or omegas. It is believed the reasoning for that was safety for their packs. Each pack could only have one Alpha, and in order to keep order and make sure there was no mistaking who was in power, once the successor had been named, other alphas would be forced out of the pack. The populations grew, as was to be expected with time and all manner of developments, and while the packs got larger and joined together, the number of alphas never increased. Harry didn’t care for the reasons behind the phenomenon. In the end, it didn’t really matter. All he knew was he was the only alpha within about a thousand mile radius, and he was a complete and total disappointment. Or the one where Harry is a shy, nerdy alpha, Louis is a loud omega punk, and there's more to both of them than their reputations. PUNK!LOUIS PUNK!LOUIS PUNK!LOUIS. BUT ALSO!!! OMEGA PUNK LOUIS AND NERDY ALPHA HARRY. WHAT MORE COULD A PERSON ASK FOR???

Fall Like Rain by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, General, 2473 words This is Harry's POV from the first day that he and Louis are at the beach house. You've read Don't Want Shelter, right? If not, what are you doing? Go read it! And then read all of the amazing other bits Lauren has written in the universe. I will always always always have a special little nook in my heart for these men.

Glitter Bomb by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Teen, 7808 words After a spectacularly awful date, Harry decides a little petty revenge will make him feel better. Things don't work out quite the way he plans. What's better than sending a glitter bomb as a bit of revenge?? READING THIS FIC ABOUT THAT VERY CONCEPT. Of course, nothing goes as planned... and then it all works out in the end. Hilarious and Wonderful!!!

Be Mine, Little Valentine by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 7435 words Louis wants to find someone who'll love all of him. There's just one tiny complication. Uhhhhh, I love tiny penis fics. This one is incredible.

One Touch Is Never Enough by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 3853 words It’s been a rough year for Louis. First, he was turned into a werewolf, which hasn't been so bad, except that he didn't anticipate how it would affect his love life. Maybe it’d be easier to ignore if he wasn’t constantly bombarded by the sound of his two werewolf best friends getting it on in the next room. At least they were nice enough to give him a gift certificate for a massage. I still laugh out loud everytime I think of this fic. I mean, read that summary. OFC this fic is going to be so stellar.

Wine Not? by abrighteryellow, allwaswell16, catfishau (dinosaursmate), crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks), disgruntledkittenface, FallingLikeThis, jaerie, Justalittlelouislove, kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie), kiwikero, LadyLondonderry, Layne Faire (HisDarlin), lululawrence, momentofclarity, phdmama, QuickedWeen, Rearviewdreamer, red_special, SadaVeniren, someonethatsfunny, taggiecb Larry, Explicit, 20704 words Louis’ Wine Dive is a bar run by the people for the people. Wine Styles is a boutique tasting room that caters to a more highbrow clientele. When their worlds clash on a beautiful Charleston street, one of these owners may find that an ounce of pretension doesn’t stand a chance against a pound of perseverance. I am not great with emotions. Showing them or dealing with them. If I think too hard about this fic, I run the risk of tearing up. I don't know that I can every express how much it means to me that these amazing authors all came together to write me a fic. A really really wonderful fic. That is far more coheasive than it has any right to be. But my chest gets all funny and my eyes get all watery, so I'm just going to say that everyone should go read it. It means the world to me.

It's been a long, cold, lonely winter by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Teen, 443 words Louis wants to catch the eye of his hot neighbor who's always looking at his phone. His grey sweatpants are his secret weapon. I wrote a little fic, and then Lauren was like I WANT TO WRITE THE ALTERNATE POV AND ALSO HERE ARE SOME GREY SWEATPANTS and whoooboooooy what a great combo that turned out to be!

All This Noise by musiclily88 Larry, Teen, 1733 words Here's how it begins DRUMMER!LOUIS DRUMMER!LOUIS DRUMMER!LOUIS WHY ARE THERE NOT MORE DRUMMER LOUIS FICS IN THIS FANDOM??? I posed that question and then this fic was written for me and my mind melted. I LOVE the concept of drummer Louis and this fic so totally delivers.

One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Maggie Rogers/Niall, Explicit, 3713 words Niall and Maggie come up with a way to get revenge on her annoying neighbors. HEH. GO READ THIS HET FIC ABOUT MAGGIE PEGGING NIALL. LIKE. GO. This does not have enough hits!

Heels Over Head by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) Larry, Explicit, 3455 words Louis Tomlinson returns from tour to find that his new next door neighbor doesn't realize his backyard is not completely private. You know what else I love in addition to tiny penis fics?? Lauren's butthole series. This one CRACKS ME UP. I'm going to send her a million more butthole prompts and make her write them as well.

Make Your Body Move Like Mine by Jiksa Larry & Gryles, Explicit, 9400 words He looks beautiful, otherworldly, strobe lights catching in his curls like rays of sunshine. Louis can’t look away. Or, the first time they meet. Prequel to You're A Universe. I do not have enough words to possibly explain how much I love Jx's fic, You're A Universe. So when we were talking and she said she had a prequel I all but begged her to let me read it. Even if she never posted it. I needed it. And she was so so gracious enough to let me read it. And it fills the perfect little backstory spot about Harry and Nick and who Louis was when he met Harry for the first time and just... UGH. Everything about it is perfect in every way. It's possible I had a little meltdown when I saw it was gifted to me when it was posted.

sad sex is... no by disgruntledkittenface Gryles, Not Rated, 2430 words “Hey, are you…” As he hesitates, a line appearing between his furrowed eyebrows and a pout forming on his puffy pink lips, the words “don’t say it” run on a loop in Nick’s head, like a prayer. “... okay?” He said it. Fuck. A gryles AU based on Harry’s iconic quote from the Jools Holland interview. OH! Speaking of having meltdowns when seeing that ao3 email about a gift. I saw this, I saw the title, saw the author, and fully had to close my laptop and walk away because I knew it was going to be so overwhelmingly exactly what I wanted to read that I literally couldn't deal with it. (Um. Remember that not dealing well with emotions. This is an excellent example. I just... shut down when i saw it because I was so overwhelmed.) This literally hits every single one of my buttons and is just so so beautifully written and I'm so so very lucky to have friends like this.

[liam-93-productions]

I remember meeting Liam Payne once before. I was writing the cover story on One Direction for this very magazine four years ago and, finally, after endless tail chasing and schedule clashes, I managed to pin all five members down backstage at the O2 shortly before they played to what seemed like a bazillion screaming teenagers. The air was heavy with the fug of Haribo Starmix and raging hormones; even at that point the band were already more popular than The Beatles in some circles. Or, as John Lennon would have put it, Jesus.

The band members were courteous and convivial. One certainly got the impression that their time wasn’t their own, although any cracks that would end up splintering the band some years later were kept well hidden. I remember Payne for being perhaps the most grounded out of all five of them. He seemed to have an ease with his status and fortune that kept his ego in check. He seemed genuinely bamboozled at the hysteria going on around them. He was a young, ambitious pop star caught in fame’s full beams.

Last week, in some respects, a very different man sat down for an exclusive chat with GQ Hype. He’s certainly more hench, as this exclusive shoot with fashion photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott prove. Whoa. We talked about his sizzling new underwear campaign with Hugo Boss, his first nude shoot (which may well be his last if his dear mother has anything to do with it) and we reminisced about his One Direction days, a period which he came out of shaken, sure, but not completely upside down or inside out.

He’s been through a great deal since the end of being one fifth of the biggest boy bands in history – drink problems, therapy, (...), anxiety – but at his core he’s still that same multi-talented, hard-working boy from Wolverhampton, honest about his faults and still excited to see where all this is taking him. Undoubtedly, he’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Well, when he’s wearing any sleeves at all...

GQ: So how’s the build-up to the debut album, LP1?

Liam Payne: Good, can’t complain. Just rewriting a lot of things in my world at the moment. That’s why I was in with my top, top manager for a while just reconfiguring things towards the end of the year.

What are you reconfiguring?

Well, we just kind of ticked off album one. The writing process was interesting to say the least. I mean, it was almost like blind dating in LA with different writers, and when that happens it’s hard to get traction, or get to know anyone properly, or let your guard down in a way. You feel like you’re going into different rooms all the time, with different styles. There are so many things that can affect the writing unless you find that one person who can carry you all the way through a record. Post Malone has a producer called Louis Bell, whom he works with, and there's a common stitch throughout the whole thing that kind of puts it all together properly, whereas we never really found that.

How come that never materialised?

I was going through a bunch of stuff when we started writing the album – growing up and all sorts of different shit coming out of the band. So for me it wasn't the best entry into the writing side of it and making personal music rather than writing for a band. So it was difficult, but I mean the album is done and coming out and I absolutely love it and it's just interesting to see that my favourite is from when I was younger. The first albums I listened to actually helped create my first album, so super cool.

It sounds like it’s been a long process getting the debut album finished?

It’s been, since “Strip That Down” really, the best part of two maybe three years to get everything finished. And it was difficult. I mean, it's opening up at first and trying to figure out who you are and what people want to know from you. And what the sound is. Trying to find that medium point for all those things. It's just the most difficult thing, especially at a young age when you're constantly changing and you don't really know yourself yet. We spent the best part of five years in a band closed off from the world and I had to go through this really weird transition inside that band as the world, and then myself, came out of it. I mean, even in my therapy sessions, my therapist asked me, “What do you actually like to do?” And I'm like, “I don’t know what I like doing!”

Most people presumed you came out of One Direction fully formed. That wasn’t the case?

Everything changed. New teams, new managers, new labels. Building those working relationships can be tricky. You also become the boss of your own shit, and I was 21, 22 when I first started doing my own thing, so it’s all a bit scary and can be a bit lonely. That’s not a complaint; it's also a lot of fun as well. We have a great time. Now the band members have all worked our way through this first couple of years, you can kind of see everyone's finding their own feet. Take Harry [Styles] at the moment. You know, he's just found what I think is his sound and exactly where he wants to be, which took him a little minute to get into since he had his last album out. So, yeah, it just takes time.

Towards the end of One Direction, were you aware of everyone’s own tastes developing?

I think so. I mean, for me, someone like Louis [Tomlinson] always had a very specific taste – things like Green Day, that was the era he was from... also Oasis and old Robbie Williams. Harry always played an eclectic mix of stuff too. I can always remember the one time Harry put Rick Springfield’s “Jessie's Girl’ on and I had never really heard it before but it was an interesting choice. I liked it nevertheless. And then for me, I mean, when I wrote “Better Than Words” for the last 1D album, it had a different rhythm for us, something we hadn’t done before. So you could definitely see those unique tastes early on. I think funnily enough it was through fashion and style that our own perspectives could be seen most of all, all hints of what was to come for us. We would always wear black on stage, black skinny jeans and a black T-shirt, but maybe we’d add something else as individuals. I remember Harry having these cool rings, for example, and then he’d go crazy with his shirts as time went on. Saying that, I think Louis still dresses pretty much the same as he used to.

Was it competitive with the other band members?

I mean, for me personally, I don't think I ever really looked at it that way. I think the biggest question for all of us at the start was figuring out who the hell we were without each other around, which is a really weird thing because you’d found your dynamic and role within the band. But then when you started a solo thing it was almost like leaving like school or university and trying to find your place within the real world. So I think it was more the pressure of that than anything else, rather than us competing with each other on, like, dress sense or vibe or even the music.

You mentioned therapy. Was that while you were still in the band?

I went into therapy a couple years after leaving. I kind of went off the rails a little bit and just couldn't really figure out what was making me sad. So, you know, my team got somebody around to help me through a couple of different, difficult things that I was going through. I was just trying to figure myself out. It was just such a strange course through life, and then when the switch turns off you're left to your own devices...

Did it throw you off when the band’s scheduled just stopped? Going from having a two-year plan to not even having a two-day plan?

I mean, yeah, we went through a really weird retirement phase. It’s quite funny, when my dad retired, I was telling him what to expect: first off, you're not going to get out of bed for ages, and then all of a sudden you get an urge to get out of bed all the time and start trying to do stuff just to seem like you are doing things. But I think everyone in the band went through this really weird retirement phase and trying to switch off. For me, I remember standing in my garden at my house and just looking around thinking, “It's been a lot of fun, but what do I do now that’s done? What actually happens at this point? Who do I call? Who is the ‘point of’ person?” I just didn't really know what was going to happen; a very strange thing to be involved in. All of it is weird, but that was a real strange moment. But things pick up and slowly you start getting back into the groove again.

Were you worried about not being famous any more? Or making music? About it all just stopping?

Actually, no. I kind of always knew that something would happen. I just didn't know what the hell it was going to be. And that was the scariest part of it. You just didn't really want to make a fool of yourself at that point. I think after such a long legacy of your band being absolutely amazing, the most important thing was make sure you don’t step off that pedestal; don't embarrass yourself. The biggest worry was don't ruin the legacy.

Let's talk about the underwear campaign with Hugo Boss. These are some incredible photographs taken by Mert and Marcus…

It got very raunchy very quickly. I hadn’t been properly warned about the amount of nudity Mert and Marcus do in their work, let's say. Mert’s actually become a really good friend now. We were in his house to three in the morning the other day singing karaoke, which is so funny. Yeah, I mean, really great to work with. I think everyone was quite surprised early on that they wanted to work with me and it kind of gave us a little nod and an entry into working in fashion proper.

Had you always wanted to land an underwear campaign?

Before we landed the deal with Hugo Boss I’d gone into my gym and said, “I'm going to get an underwear commercial.” I just wanted to do it; I knew I could do it. And then it actually happened! And I worked my ass off and I'm still hitting the gym: I didn't realise once you get on that thing you can't really turn it off. You've got to keep it going. Like I said, it’s been a lot of training and being an athlete and working out – it became 90 per cent of my job for the best part of a year leading up to that shoot, which was crazy. Come 2019 everyone's a lot more open about body image and I wanted to get in shape. Not to show off my body to anyone else, I just knew that’s what would give the confidence on set. I didn’t want to arrive not ready and not looking like I’d worked hard to get there. But what a thing to do and then to go on to designing clothes for Hugo Boss too – an amazing experience. We actually had the first design meeting [for the clothing line] here and I remember in the car on the way to the meeting thinking, “What have you got yourself into?” That always seems to happen to me. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a friend of mine, Kim Jones [artistic director at Dior menswear], and he gave me some great advice: “It’s the same as music: once you’ve had a hit you know what people want from you.” And I took that with me into the design meeting and used that to help the whole process. Find the hit and make it work.

Have you done a nude shoot before?

No! Well, not a planned one, at least. There was a lot of tequila involved for this shoot. I mean, the first day we did most of the shots for the capsule collection and then the last shots were the box shots for the front of the underwear packaging – which was just like, “Wow, I get to be the guy on the box,” which was a real moment. I’d never take that for granted. And then like the next day, we set up again and the model, Stella Maxwell, she's in the shoot with me. And it just ended up being a lot more naked than I thought it was – and for her as well. She was also naked. And I was just, you know, “Don’t look!” She was naked behind me and I was thinking, “Liam, don’t look whatever you do.”

Talk to me about the curtain shot...

Wow. Yes, I mean it was just a room full of five or six people and a hell of a lot of tequila to get me to this level. I was standing there and all of a sudden it was, “Right, OK, take them off.” I'm like, “Really? Take them off? Off, off? Like on-the-floor off? Oh, my God.” And there was a real hollow moment afterwards where I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette thinking, “I have basically just shot soft-core porn.” For one, my mum is going to kill me. For another thing, I don’t know how far this is going to go... That was just the first shot! It was a lot of fun to shoot but my mum wasn’t best pleased. There’s this really raunchy shot of me and Stella, and I showed my mum. She took one look at it and gave me a clip round the ear. All I was thinking was, “I better not tell her about the London buses!”

Still, your parents must be very proud?

The One Direction thing was enough. Just to get to that level. I would have happily walked away at that point. But now with all the other things I have managed to achieve, not least this underwear campaign with Hugo Boss, it’s meant a lot to me personally. I think it’s got me closer to those men whom I respect so much, people like David Beckham and Brad Pitt, such icons in their own lifestyles. It’s a real pinch-me moment. I can’t believe it hasn’t all burnt down to the ground yet, to be honest.

You mentioned a bad patch, a depression of sorts?

There was a lot of stuff. I was drinking too much and getting into really bad, bad situations for quite some time actually. And I hit a peak moment where I knew the drinking was going to get me; I needed to do something about it. I spent a lot of time drinking to escape the crazy world that I had created for myself. I didn't know what I was doing. That first therapy session and being like, “I don't even know what I like or anything about myself” – it was pretty scary stuff. I was afraid of how far my career was going and that it might go even further. You can say, “Who is afraid of success?” But that’s what it entails sometimes. Success has got the better of me on more than one occasion. When I am losing I tend to concentrate more.

Did you stop drinking for a bit?

Yes, I got sober for about a year, cutting down so the only vice was cigarettes. I hadn't planned to go sober forever, it was more important for me to say I didn't actually didn't need to drink. I wanted to prove it. I did the whole year, no booze completely, and at that point I didn’t actually know being sober was making my life any better. Things went up, but things like my social life plummeted. I was the biggest recluse on the planet. I would get up at 5am and go running in the park, but at night I would be in bed by 7pm. Is that a way to live your life? And in a strange way I am trying to still figure all that out and get the balance right between being a party animal and being an animal in the gym – the latter not being fun at all. We are all at fault; we all need balance.

So, 12 December: Boris or Jeremy?

I think I will vote but I am always out of the country. We need a mobile app where we can vote with our thumbprint or something. I mean, in regards to Boris or Jeremy, I don't think we give people enough time. Same with West Brom football club. They always change their manager every week it seems and we never get time to gel with anybody. So it's like, if I was changing my manager every week, I'd probably be really shit too. We need to give someone a chance to at least have a proper go of it or it will never be fixed. Also, I don't think it's always the one person that's to blame. Take Winston Churchill, people hated him at first, thought he was a drunk, that he had no clue, [wondered] what’s he doing going to war. Maybe we should all just be more like Winston Churchill.

Zayn has been through his own difficulties with fame and anxiety...

I think for anybody entering into these talent shows we do them for specific reasons. And I've often asked myself this question a bunch of times because we all went through it. You know, for me, as I was younger, from my own experience, I entered the show because I wanted to make my dad proud. Fast forward ten years and here we are in his office, talking about an album and an underwear campaign – incredible. But here’s the thing: you just don't know until you get there whether you're built for this or not. For Zayn, he loves music and he's an amazing talent. He genuinely was the best singer in One Direction, hand on heart, out of all of us. But for him to get to a point where, you know, he can't step on a stage? It's a lot. I mean, he's doing great. His streaming numbers are ridiculous but I do think he misses out on the performance side a bit, you know. He can't seem to get past that part. We all have it. I mean, I have this, like, brain fart syndrome: I was on medication for a while, and it was something to do with epilepsy, but I was using it for something else. And it was to do with anxiety for me too, fully prescribed, but I didn't realise that [on the medication] certain lights made me forget, well, everything. I totally forgot who I was. And lyrics. It still happens. I have a fear of it now. It happens all the time. So we all have our little beasties in that sort of scenario. But this era of talent shows, it is dangerous and some people just don’t know what they are getting into.

Did you want to reach out to him?

I did, yeah. I didn’t want him to feel like he was going through this all alone in some ways, or that we were all out to get him. We're the only people who know what you're going through. The only five people who know what you are going through were all in a room together once, and you left – fair enough – but you don’t want anyone going through such evils for no reason. But it got to a point with me where I wouldn’t know where to begin with Zayn. I hope he has good people around him, but I don’t at this stage think it’s anything the rest of us can solve.

Are there still grudges between the five of you?

Definitely in some part, yeah. We had our differences throughout the whole experience with some things. I still think about some stuff that was said and done that now I would do differently, but then that's all part of growing up. Being in One Direction was such a schoolyard mentality somehow – the One Direction University, I call it. Everyone has stuff they’ve said at parties they wished they hadn’t but, for us, the difference was that it was all happening in front of the world. Now we are older, for me certainly there are things that I am just not as bothered about. I think with Zayn’s particular exit and the way he chose to go, we haven’t really heard from him since he left. He didn’t even say goodbye, if I am being honest. It was a really sordid scenario, from our side certainly. A bit strange. It’s difficult.

The Hugo x Liam Payne bodywear collection is available now. Payne’s debut album, LP1, is out 6 December and available to pre-order now.

[blouisparadise]

Are there any fics that you know of where Harry calls Louis kitten?

Here are some! Happy reading.

1) Pretty Enough To Wreck | Mature | 1724 words

Harry loves to read, and wear flower crowns and nail polish. Louis, likes tattoo sleeves and piercings. But their looks can be deceiving compared to their personalities.

2) Your Reputation And Your Good Intent | Explicit | 4028 words

Louis is a pinup model and Harry is his photographer. The shoot is anything but innocent.

3) Make A Run, Cause Some Rebellion | Explicit | 8824 words

As a general rule, kitten hybrids are small and disinterested in what other people want them to do, slightly evil and at least a little manipulative. Louis prides himself on being all of those things to varying degrees, but especially on being uninterested in what other people tell him to do. He’s still human goddammit, despite his pointy ears and penchant for curling up in the sun and taking naps.

He’s going about his daily business, knocking things over where he sees fit and leaving a trail of mess in his wake. As exasperated as it makes Liam he’s used to it by now, having shared a flat with Louis for almost three years now, and if Louis whines enough he’ll even clean up after him. It’s a great life, really.

With the exception of Liam’s stupid, broad shouldered, entirely too big mate, the one who always comes over to watch sports with him. Louis hates that guy. His hair is always greasy and he brings weird hipster beer with him when he comes that tastes like shit. And he won’t even let Louis have any of it, either. The only reason Louis even knows what it tastes like is because one time he stole a bottle from the fridge and fled to his room before Harry could catch him.

4) Obsessive Love | Explicit | 11325 words

“Are you scared, Kitten?” Harry’s hold on him was harsh, keeping him locked close.

Louis looked him in the eye, “Would it be foolish if I said that you don’t scare me?”

“Extremely foolish,” Harry bit his earlobe to the point that it hurt, before sucking it gently and kissing down his neck.

“Well then, I’ll happily be a fool. You don’t scare me, Styles.”

5) (Quiet Like A Fight) Fingers Laced Together | Mature | 17479 words

Note: This fic does not have BL smut, but it’s hybrid Louis and has BL vibes.

The one where Harry is gifted a hybrid and it’s a whole new world for the both of them.

6) Can’t Fool Me | Explicit | 30162 words

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[lovelyirony]

@chikinan has wonderful art of samsteve, which you know i just had to write! 

Steve and Sam meet when Steve’s being a little imp. It kind of defines their whole relationship, honestly. But Sam deals with the “on your left” quip while running in DC, they talk about trauma, and then Sam gets to help overthrow a secret organization that was very corrupt. 

He also got to brag that he jumped into a helicopter off a skyscraper-type-building and he got to help Captain America. Steve for short. 

Sam visits Steve in the hospital, bringing a shield that was fished out of the Potomac and a playlist of Marvin Gaye to play. 

There’s a blonde woman sitting by his side, grinning as she tells him something. 

“Oh, Sam,” Steve says. His bruise from yesterday looks a lot better--unfair, by the way, because it still hurts Sam to turn too much--and his smile is wider. “This is Sharon. She was my neighbor for a bit. Also a SHIELD agent.” 

"Used to be,” Sharon says with a shrug. “Thinking about a new career.” 

“The coffee shop down the street needs baristas,” Sam jokes. Sharon smiles, laughing. 

“And you’re Sam, aren’t you? Nice to see Steve finally has someone who can keep up with him and keep him grounded.” 

“I’m fine,” Steve says. 

“Nah, you’re a freak of nature,” Sharon says. “And I need to focus more on making sure that Maria doesn’t take on all the work herself.” 

“And so you can utilize her wine collection,” Steve says. Sharon flips him off easily, laughing. 

“I’ll see you nerds later.” 

Sam gets the most distinct impression that Sharon could probably take over a country if she so wanted to. 

When Steve gets out of the hospital, he stays at Sam’s for a bit. 

And then that little bit turns into a lot longer when Sam decides to go for it and kiss Steve on the lips. 

Steve is a very nice man to date. They go to art museums and little coffee shops and the places that Sam says Steve has to go to. 

“Why did we go to Burger King after midnight?” 

“Tastes better. You go in the daytime and it’s shit.”

“...okay.” 

They’re both stubborn, Steve all the more. But Sam can talk with him and they communicate well, even on the days where Steve remembers things that he doesn’t want to or the days when it feels like just a year ago he was looking forward to the premiere of Meet Me in St. Louis. 

About a year and a half after they meet, Bucky enters the scene. 

Bucky is an asshole, once you really get to know him. Sam says that that’s a redeeming trait, although Bucky flips him off every single time. 

Bucky, Sharon, Steve, and Sam all form a friend-group of sorts and have a fun time hanging out together. Bucky and Sharon often gang up on the couple, laughing as they talk about all the dumb shit they’ve been up to. 

Steve actually needs Sharon’s help when he decides that marrying Sam would be the best decision ever. Well, he decided that about three months into their relationship. But now, it’s more...real. He’s ready to settle down, look at the man he loves, and say “I do.” 

He calls her and cajoles her into breakfast at eight in the morning to beat the usual people who go out for breakfast on Saturdays. 

“This better be good,” Sharon says grouchily. “I could’ve been having my own coffee and watching the show about puppies.” 

“I need to go ring-shopping with you. You’re the one who knows Sam best.” 

Sharon grins, hugging Steve and expressing the fact that they’d find the perfect one. 

They go to a lot of stores after-hours, the most-trusted experts on-hand. Steve doesn’t want this getting out until he wants it to break, and they understand that. 

And if they didn’t before, Sharon makes sure they do after. 

Steve decides on simplicity. Sam isn’t one for flashy declarations, so a gold band will do. 

Sam knows that he and Steve will get married one day. They’ve talked about the details, said that they don’t want to get married in the winter. He just doesn’t know when. 

He gets surprised by a beautiful picnic and a trip to the art museum, one of their first dates. 

Steve proposes in front of one of Sam’s favorite works of art, and Sam exclaims his surprise and his love so loudly that it makes headlines and memes for the weeks to follow. 

Sam can’t stop introducing Steve after that. 

“Oh, have you met my motherfucking husband?” Sam asks the Avengers. “Becuase here he is. See the wedding band?” 

“You’ve bragged about this eight times,” Bucky deadpans. 

“And there will be more to come!” Sam replies glibly. “Meet my husband. He has questionable taste in cocktails and thinks that the best invention of the twenty-first century is gel pens.” 

“They were invented in 1984, pick another one,” Tony says. 

“I wasn’t alive then, I consider it then,” Steve responds. 

“No,” Bruce says. “You weren’t alive for the invention of fire, do you consider that a twentieth century invention? Sam, you’re marrying an idiot.” 

“But he’s my idiot,” Sam says. 

All of SHIELD, once it’s rebuilt, gets the low-down. Steve Rogers is Sam Wilson’s husband, and Sam will remind you of that at any possible moment. 

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt my training session with new recruits to remind us all of your impending nuptials,” Maria Hill responds frostily after Sam walks in and shows off his ring for the new recruits to “ooh” and “ah” over. 

“Too bad, I’m getting married,” Sam says. “Now, I need your guys’ opinion. This is very important.” 

The smile drops, and the recruits lean in. Any lesson or advice they could give to Falcon could potentially lead to a status-upgrade. 

“How do I tell Steve that we’re not doing vanilla frosting without hurting his feelings?” 

Maria groans and says if Sam doesn’t get out, she’s throwing knives at him. 

Then comes the topic of who will be in the bridal party. Sam’s family, obviously. But they need a maid-of-honor and a best man. 

“For the best man, it has to be Bucky,” Steve says. “I won’t have anyone else.” 

“If you must,” Sam sighs, pretending to be annoyed before pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Have him over for lunch. But I get to choose the maid-of-honor then, and I go with Sharon.” 

Steve is in charge of the color schemes, and they choose navy blue and dove gray. 

“Dove?” Clint asks. “There are kinds of gray?” 

“I live with idiots,” Bruce says. “Of course there’s dove gray.” 

Bruce is...surprisingly helpful when it comes to procuring wedding materials. 

“How do you know these things?” Sam asks. 

“I watch too many shows and keep tabs on materials. Do not ask about it.” 

He nods, and makes a note to get Bruce to ask about custom-suits, or Tony. 

The wedding goes off perfectly. Tony has threatened everyone in a thirty-mile radius that if they attack anywhere near the wedding, he will eviscerate them until they’re nothing but a dark spot on the sidewalk. 

Sam is whisked away on the morning of, Sharon dragging him to a dressing room. 

“Bad luck to see the groom the day of the wedding.” 

“Isn’t that for brides?” 

“Nope, no gender-bias,” Sharon says. “And I guarantee if Steve saw you, he’d trip over himself. If he trips down the aisle, I win two dollars off Jane.” 

“You guys are betting during my wedding?” 

“Obviously, it’s what the Avengers and company do, Sam. Now, to the suit.” 

Sam is in the dove gray, Steve in the navy. They make a pretty good pair, the two of them. Of course, Natasha nabs Steve’s phone away when he’s trying to show Sam what he drew on the bottom of them. 

“No!” She declares. “You are not allowed to do any of this. I am turning on your wedding playlist.” 

“I have a wedding playlist?” 

“Technically it’s Bruce’s.” 

“Why does Bruce have one?” 

“I don’t ask him questions and neither should you, now onto hair,” Natasha says. “We’re going to make you look great for your wedding.” 

Sharon makes sure all the bouquets are set, the caterers are doing their job (and not serving cold potatoes like so many other weddings have had before) and that everyone is ready. 

“Do I really have to wear a tie?” Clint whines. 

“Yes,” Bruce says, not even looking up from his newspaper. “Wear it and suffer or don’t wear it and you’ll be replaced.” 

“I doubt Steve or Sam could find a replacement on such short notice,” Clint scoffs. 

“They couldn’t, but I could. I have two people on stand-by.” 

And then, the time comes. The bridesmaids and groomsmen look immaculate, and Steve can’t stop thinking about the day they met and how lucky he is to see his husband every day and be able to kiss him in the mornings, nights, and any time else it suits. 

Sam looks like a vision. His smile is radiant and he gets up to the aisle and smoothly turns to look at the priest. 

“We’re ready.” 

The ceremony is beautiful, and Steve can’t take his eyes off his husband. 

Sharon cries and tries to hide it behind her bouquet, although it ends up making a lovely picture for the photographer. 

The reception is wonderful. The food is great, the dancing is great, and Steve and Sam show off a very impressive first-dance that involves Steve near-hurling Sam out of his grasp. All in all, a very nice start. 

Bucky delivers an excellent speech on how lovesick Steve is, and how he told him one night that “he would marry Sam, even if it did kill him.” Sam cries. 

Sharon lightens up the mood with various stories about how stupid both of the grooms are, and how Sam had walked into a light-pole once because Steve happened to be wearing a rather nice shirt. 

They dance through the night, and end up in their bed, breathing hard. 

“Love you, Steve.” 

“Love you too.” 

“You’re my husband now. Like, for real.” 

“What a thought,” Steve teases, pulling him close. “You’re my husband too.” 

“A surprise,” Sam says, laughing. “Love you.” 

“Love you more.” 

“Love you most.” 

[1dreality]

I remember meeting Liam Payne once before. I was writing the cover story on One Direction for this very magazine four years ago and, finally, after endless tail chasing and schedule clashes, I managed to pin all five members down backstage at the O2 shortly before they played to what seemed like a bazillion screaming teenagers. The air was heavy with the fug of Haribo Starmix and raging hormones; even at that point the band were already more popular than The Beatles in some circles. Or, as John Lennon would have put it, Jesus.

The band members were courteous and convivial. One certainly got the impression that their time wasn’t their own, although any cracks that would end up splintering the band some years later were kept well hidden. I remember Payne for being perhaps the most grounded out of all five of them. He seemed to have an ease with his status and fortune that kept his ego in check. He seemed genuinely bamboozled at the hysteria going on around them. He was a young, ambitious pop star caught in fame’s full beams.

Last week, in some respects, a very different man sat down for an exclusive chat with GQ Hype. He’s certainly more hench, as this exclusive shoot with fashion photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott prove. Whoa. We talked about his sizzling new underwear campaign with Hugo, his first nude shoot (which may well be his last if his dear mother has anything to do with it) and we reminisced about his One Direction days, a period which he came out of shaken, sure, but not completely upside down or inside out.

He’s been through a great deal since the end of being one fifth of the biggest boybands in history – drink problems, therapy, marriage, fatherhood, anxiety – but at his core he’s still that same multi-talented, hard-working boy from Wolverhampton, honest about his faults and still excited to see where all this is taking him. Undoubtedly, he’s a man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Well, when he’s wearing any sleeves at all...

GQ: So how’s the build-up to the debut album, LP1?

Liam Payne: Good, can’t complain. Just rewriting a lot of things in my world at the moment. That’s why I was in with my top, top manager for a while just reconfiguring things towards the end of the year.

What are you reconfiguring?

Well, we just kind of ticked off album one. The writing process was interesting to say the least. I mean, it was almost like blind dating in LA with different writers, and when that happens it’s hard to get traction, or get to know anyone properly, or let your guard down in a way. You feel like you’re going into different rooms all the time, with different styles. There are so many things that can affect the writing unless you find that one person who can carry you all the way through a record. Post Malone has a producer called Louis Bell, whom he works with, and there's a common stitch throughout the whole thing that kind of puts it all together properly, whereas we never really found that.

How come that never materialised?

I was going through a bunch of stuff when we started writing the album – growing up and all sorts of different shit coming out of the band. So for me it wasn't the best entry into the writing side of it and making personal music rather than writing for a band. So it was difficult, but I mean the album is done and coming out and I absolutely love it and it's just interesting to see that my favourite is from when I was younger. The first albums I listened to actually helped create my first album, so super cool.

It sounds like it’s been a long process getting the debut album finished?

It’s been, since “Strip That Down” really, the best part of two maybe three years to get everything finished. And it was difficult. I mean, it's opening up at first and trying to figure out who you are and what people want to know from you. And what the sound is. Trying to find that medium point for all those things. It's just the most difficult thing, especially at a young age when you're constantly changing and you don't really know yourself yet. We spent the best part of five years in a band closed off from the world and I had to go through this really weird transition inside that band as the world, and then myself, came out of it. I mean, even in my therapy sessions, my therapist asked me, “What do you actually like to do?” And I'm like, “I don’t know what I like doing!”

Most people presumed you came out of One Direction fully formed. That wasn’t the case?

Everything changed. New teams, new managers, new labels. Building those working relationships can be tricky. You also become the boss of your own shit, and I was 21, 22 when I first started doing my own thing, so it’s all a bit scary and can be a bit lonely. That’s not a complaint; it's also a lot of fun as well. We have a great time. Now the band members have all worked our way through this first couple of years, you can kind of see everyone's finding their own feet. Take Harry [Styles] at the moment. You know, he's just found what I think is his sound and exactly where he wants to be, which took him a little minute to get into since he had his last album out. So, yeah, it just takes time.

Towards the end of One Direction, were you aware of everyone’s own tastes developing?

I think so. I mean, for me, someone like Louis [Tomlinson] always had a very specific taste – things like Green Day, that was the era he was from... also Oasis and old Robbie Williams. Harry always played an eclectic mix of stuff too. I can always remember the one time Harry put Rick Springfield’s “Jessie's Girl’ on and I had never really heard it before but it was an interesting choice. I liked it nevertheless. And then for me, I mean, when I wrote “Better Than Words” for the last 1D album, it had a different rhythm for us, something we hadn’t done before. So you could definitely see those unique tastes early on. I think funnily enough it was through fashion and style that our own perspectives could be seen most of all, all hints of what was to come for us. We would always wear black on stage, black skinny jeans and a black T-shirt, but maybe we’d add something else as individuals. I remember Harry having these cool rings, for example, and then he’d go crazy with his shirts as time went on. Saying that, I think Louis still dresses pretty much the same as he used to.

Was it competitive with the other band members?

I mean, for me personally, I don't think I ever really looked at it that way. I think the biggest question for all of us at the start was figuring out who the hell we were without each other around, which is a really weird thing because you’d found your dynamic and role within the band. But then when you started a solo thing it was almost like leaving like school or university and trying to find your place within the real world. So I think it was more the pressure of that than anything else, rather than us competing with each other on, like, dress sense or vibe or even the music.

You mentioned therapy. Was that while you were still in the band?

I went into therapy a couple years after leaving. I kind of went off the rails a little bit and just couldn't really figure out what was making me sad. So, you know, my team got somebody around to help me through a couple of different, difficult things that I was going through. I was just trying to figure myself out. It was just such a strange course through life, and then when the switch turns off you're left to your own devices...

Did it throw you off when the band’s scheduled just stopped? Going from having a two-year plan to not even having a two-day plan?

I mean, yeah, we went through a really weird retirement phase. It’s quite funny, when my dad retired, I was telling him what to expect: first off, you're not going to get out of bed for ages, and then all of a sudden you get an urge to get out of bed all the time and start trying to do stuff just to seem like you are doing things. But I think everyone in the band went through this really weird retirement phase and trying to switch off. For me, I remember standing in my garden at my house and just looking around thinking, “It's been a lot of fun, but what do I do now that’s done? What actually happens at this point? Who do I call? Who is the ‘point of’ person?” I just didn't really know what was going to happen; a very strange thing to be involved in. All of it is weird, but that was a real strange moment. But things pick up and slowly you start getting back into the groove again.

Were you worried about not being famous any more? Or making music? About it all just stopping?

Actually, no. I kind of always knew that something would happen. I just didn't know what the hell it was going to be. And that was the scariest part of it. You just didn't really want to make a fool of yourself at that point. I think after such a long legacy of your band being absolutely amazing, the most important thing was make sure you don’t step off that pedestal; don't embarrass yourself. The biggest worry was don't ruin the legacy.

Let's talk about the underwear campaign with Hugo. These are some incredible photographs taken by Mert and Marcus…

It got very raunchy very quickly. I hadn’t been properly warned about the amount of nudity Mert and Marcus do in their work, let's say. Mert’s actually become a really good friend now. We were in his house to three in the morning the other day singing karaoke, which is so funny. Yeah, I mean, really great to work with. I think everyone was quite surprised early on that they wanted to work with me and it kind of gave us a little nod and an entry into working in fashion proper.

Had you always wanted to land an underwear campaign?

Before we landed the deal with Hugo I’d gone into my gym and said, “I'm going to get an underwear commercial.” I just wanted to do it; I knew I could do it. And then it actually happened! And I worked my ass off and I'm still hitting the gym: I didn't realise once you get on that thing you can't really turn it off. You've got to keep it going. Like I said, it’s been a lot of training and being an athlete and working out – it became 90 per cent of my job for the best part of a year leading up to that shoot, which was crazy. Come 2019 everyone's a lot more open about body image and I wanted to get in shape. Not to show off my body to anyone else, I just knew that’s what would give the confidence on set. I didn’t want to arrive not ready and not looking like I’d worked hard to get there. But what a thing to do and then to go on to designing clothes for Hugo too – an amazing experience. We actually had the first design meeting [for the clothing line] here and I remember in the car on the way to the meeting thinking, “What have you got yourself into?” That always seems to happen to me. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a friend of mine, Kim Jones [artistic director at Dior menswear], and he gave me some great advice: “It’s the same as music: once you’ve had a hit you know what people want from you.” And I took that with me into the design meeting and used that to help the whole process. Find the hit and make it work.

Have you done a nude shoot before?

No! Well, not a planned one, at least. There was a lot of tequila involved for this shoot. I mean, the first day we did most of the shots for the capsule collection and then the last shots were the box shots for the front of the underwear packaging – which was just like, “Wow, I get to be the guy on the box,” which was a real moment. I’d never take that for granted. And then like the next day, we set up again and the model, Stella Maxwell, she's in the shoot with me. And it just ended up being a lot more naked than I thought it was – and for her as well. She was also naked. And I was just, you know, “Don’t look!” She was naked behind me and I was thinking, “Liam, don’t look whatever you do.”

Talk to me about the curtain shot...

Wow. Yes, I mean it was just a room full of five or six people and a hell of a lot of tequila to get me to this level. I was standing there and all of a sudden it was, “Right, OK, take them off.” I'm like, “Really? Take them off? Off, off? Like on-the-floor off? Oh, my God.” And there was a real hollow moment afterwards where I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette thinking, “I have basically just shot soft-core porn.” For one, my mum is going to kill me. For another thing, I don’t know how far this is going to go... That was just the first shot! It was a lot of fun to shoot but my mum wasn’t best pleased. There’s this really raunchy shot of me and Stella, and I showed my mum. She took one look at it and gave me a clip round the ear. All I was thinking was, “I better not tell her about the London buses!”

Still, your parents must be very proud?

The One Direction thing was enough. Just to get to that level. I would have happily walked away at that point. But now with all the other things I have managed to achieve, not least this underwear campaign with Hugo, it’s meant a lot to me personally. I think it’s got me closer to those men whom I respect so much, people like David Beckham and Brad Pitt, such icons in their own lifestyles. It’s a real pinch-me moment. I can’t believe it hasn’t all burnt down to the ground yet, to be honest.

You mentioned a bad patch, a depression of sorts?

There was a lot of stuff. I was drinking too much and getting into really bad, bad situations for quite some time actually. And I hit a peak moment where I knew the drinking was going to get me; I needed to do something about it. I spent a lot of time drinking to escape the crazy world that I had created for myself. I didn't know what I was doing. That first therapy session and being like, “I don't even know what I like or anything about myself” – it was pretty scary stuff. I was afraid of how far my career was going and that it might go even further. You can say, “Who is afraid of success?” But that’s what it entails sometimes. Success has got the better of me on more than one occasion. When I am losing I tend to concentrate more.

Did you stop drinking for a bit?

Yes, I got sober for about a year, cutting down so the only vice was cigarettes. I hadn't planned to go sober forever, it was more important for me to say I didn't actually didn't need to drink. I wanted to prove it. I did the whole year, no booze completely, and at that point I didn’t actually know being sober was making my life any better. Things went up, but things like my social life plummeted. I was the biggest recluse on the planet. I would get up at 5am and go running in the park, but at night I would be in bed by 7pm. Is that a way to live your life? And in a strange way I am trying to still figure all that out and get the balance right between being a party animal and being an animal in the gym – the latter not being fun at all. We are all at fault; we all need balance.

So, 12 December: Boris or Jeremy?

I think I will vote but I am always out of the country. We need a mobile app where we can vote with our thumbprint or something. I mean, in regards to Boris or Jeremy, I don't think we give people enough time. Same with West Brom football club. They always change their manager every week it seems and we never get time to gel with anybody. So it's like, if I was changing my manager every week, I'd probably be really shit too. We need to give someone a chance to at least have a proper go of it or it will never be fixed. Also, I don't think it's always the one person that's to blame. Take Winston Churchill, people hated him at first, thought he was a drunk, that he had no clue, [wondered] what’s he doing going to war. Maybe we should all just be more like Winston Churchill.

Zayn has been through his own difficulties with fame and anxiety...

I think for anybody entering into these talent shows we do them for specific reasons. And I've often asked myself this question a bunch of times because we all went through it. You know, for me, as I was younger, from my own experience, I entered the show because I wanted to make my dad proud. Fast forward ten years and here we are in his office, talking about an album and an underwear campaign – incredible. But here’s the thing: you just don't know until you get there whether you're built for this or not. For Zayn, he loves music and he's an amazing talent. He genuinely was the best singer in One Direction, hand on heart, out of all of us. But for him to get to a point where, you know, he can't step on a stage? It's a lot. I mean, he's doing great. His streaming numbers are ridiculous but I do think he misses out on the performance side a bit, you know. He can't seem to get past that part. We all have it. I mean, I have this, like, brain fart syndrome: I was on medication for a while, and it was something to do with epilepsy, but I was using it for something else. And it was to do with anxiety for me too, fully prescribed, but I didn't realise that [on the medication] certain lights made me forget, well, everything. I totally forgot who I was. And lyrics. It still happens. I have a fear of it now. It happens all the time. So we all have our little beasties in that sort of scenario. But this era of talent shows, it is dangerous and some people just don’t know what they are getting into.

Did you want to reach out to him?

I did, yeah. I didn’t want him to feel like he was going through this all alone in some ways, or that we were all out to get him. We're the only people who know what you're going through. The only five people who know what you are going through were all in a room together once, and you left – fair enough – but you don’t want anyone going through such evils for no reason. But it got to a point with me where I wouldn’t know where to begin with Zayn. I hope he has good people around him, but I don’t at this stage think it’s anything the rest of us can solve.

Are there still grudges between the five of you?

Definitely in some part, yeah. We had our differences throughout the whole experience with some things. I still think about some stuff that was said and done that now I would do differently, but then that's all part of growing up. Being in One Direction was such a schoolyard mentality somehow – the One Direction University, I call it. Everyone has stuff they’ve said at parties they wished they hadn’t but, for us, the difference was that it was all happening in front of the world. Now we are older, for me certainly there are things that I am just not as bothered about. I think with Zayn’s particular exit and the way he chose to go, we haven’t really heard from him since he left. He didn’t even say goodbye, if I am being honest. It was a really sordid scenario, from our side certainly. A bit strange. It’s difficult.

[juniorformulamotorsport]

Tuesday, 17th September 2019 – Alsace Wine Tour (Strasbourg, Obernai, Dambach-la-ville, Ribeauvillé, Bergheim)

We made an early start because we needed to meet the tour guide from Ophorus Tours at 09:00 outside the Tourist Information office in Strasbourg. We’d booked a full day tour of Alsace, stopping off at three different wine growers on the way. This was organised through Winerist who we’d used for a Bordeaux tour last year. The experience had been so good that we’d had no hesitation in seeking them out again for a trip around our latest destination. There are a number of reasons for using them not least because they employ genuine experts in their field who originate from the region they work in or know it perfectly, speak excellent English, and hold the WSET level 2 in Wines & Spirits, the course I’m going on in January next year, which means they know a great deal about the wines and winemakers they take you to visit.

We arrived a tad too early and struggled to find anywhere open to get a coffee. When we eventually did, we shared a small kougelhopf between us and then arrived back at the meeting place five minutes before time. We were soon rounded up along with the other 6 people on the tour and set off out of town towards Obernai. It was a bit of a cold day at this point and I must admit I was wishing I’d brought a sweater. However, we stopped outside town initially and noted that although the Vosges mountains were being rather shy, the cloud was beginning to lift. Our initial stop was at the Mémorial National des Incorporés de Force, which was inaugurated in 1956 in memory of the 272 inhabitants of the canton who dies or disappeared during the Second World Ward when they were forced to serve in the German Army, and, to prevent them from deserting or turning against their own “side”, were sent off to the Eastern Front and never came back – because most combatants sent there didn’t come back (my uncle Herbert for one, my Dad’s twin brother, who was from Leipzig not Alsace, but who was sent to Ukraine aged 18 – nothing was ever heard of him again).

The monument offers a fantastic view over the town (and makes it easy to see the old street patterns) and towards Mont Sainte-Odile. It’s also surrounded by vineyards, and our guide, Olivier, had us all taste the fruit, which was sweet and ripe and really tiny, being almost all pip and skin. It was a bit odd because you could almost sense the tannin in it as well. It was an interesting insight. The grapes he’d raided were Pinot Noir. He then went on to explain about how wine works in Alsace. It’s different to everywhere else in France, but then again French regions vary wildly anyway in what you can and can’t do as a winemaker. Alsace wine is mostly white and is the only Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée region in France to produce mostly varietal wines, typically from similar grape varieties to those used in German wine. Wines are produced as Alsace AOC (white, rosé and red wines), Alsace Grand Cru (white wines from 51 classified vineyards) and Crémant d’Alsace sparkling wines.

In 2006, vines were grown on 15,298 hectares (37,800 acres) in 119 villages in Alsace, and 111.3 million litres of wine was produced, corresponding to 148.4 million bottles of 750 ml, generating 478.8 million euro in revenue. 25% of the production is exported, and the largest export markets for in terms of volume are Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Denmark and the United States. The geography of the wine growing area is determined by two main factors, the Vosges mountains in the west and the Rhine in the east, with the vineyards concentrated on a narrow strip running roughly north–south. The Vosges mountains provide shelter from rain and maritime influence, and the region is dry and sunny with Colmar being the driest city in France. The grape varieties they are permitted to use are Riesling, Sylvaner, Muscat, Pinot Blanc, Pinot Gris, and Gewürztraminer for whites, with a couple of variants such as Klevener de Heiligenstein, and the only red grape is Pinot Noir.

Anyway we swiftly moved on from the memorial to the first of the three vineyards we’d be stopping off at Robert Blanck, who have been winemakers since 1732, using old-fashioned methods (no stainless steel tanks for them, thank you very much). We tried a number of wines, made a lot of notes, and then made enquiries about their opening hours so we could go back with the car. I wasn’t about to lug several boxes of wine around on the tram system, not matter how efficient it was. We would drive past the following day and pick up what we wanted in between doing some sightseeing. I was interested to note that they were members of the Vignerons indépendants de France, an organization that supports independent winemakers throughout France. Their members must respect their terroir, work and harvest their own vineyards, make and bottle their wine themselves and generally maintain viticultural traditions. Whatever their methods, they make some very good wines, and they provided a ridiculously generous tasting.

They also explained that, unlike in Bordeaux, Alsace barrels go on for years and years and years, because in the main they are not interested in using barrels that will hugely affect the taste of the wine, so new barrels are not something they are at all keen on. This would turn out to be significant information with regard to the second vineyard we went to. Some of the barrels in use are a couple of hundred years old, with some very fine decorative work. They also have the tiniest doors, which are used by the cellar masters to get inside the barrels when they need cleaning. You can’t be fat and be a cellar master it would seem.

  Speaking of taste, our guide told us more about the wine in the barrel held by the Hôpital civil in Strasbourg. In their historic cellars there is what is believed to be the oldest wine barrel in the world, dating back to 1472. The cellar itself was built in 1395, and was needed because back then patients sometimes paid for their treatment by donating land, and around these parts much of that land would have vineyards on it. As wine was also used for medical purposes, wine cellars were common in hospitals, though of course there aren’t many left. This one even survived a fire that destroyed the rest of the hospital in 1716, and they simply rebuilt around the cellar.

The 1472 barrel is 450 litres in capacity and holds 350 litres  of wine at present. This wine has only been tasted on rare occasions, in 1576 in honour of the delegation from Zurich that came to prove how quickly they could arrive to help their allies in Strasbourg (presumably in celebration of the centenary of the Hirsebreifahrt of 1476), in 1718 for the reconstruction of the main building after the fire, and in 1944 when Strasbourg was liberated during World War II. A select group of wine-makers are permitted to mature their wines in the cellars, where they are aged in oak barrels, a practice that is no longer common in Alsace. Profits from the sales of the 150,000 bottles of wine produced each year being used to purchase medical equipment.

Although it isn’t tasted, the wine was checked in 1994 to ensure it hadn’t turned to acid, as it would then no longer be considered wine. The wine is still technically wine, at least according to the oenologists from the interregional laboratory of the DGCCRF in Strasbourg. They said the wine “has a very beautiful bright, very amber color, a powerful nose, very fine, of a very great complexity, aromas reminiscent of vanilla, honey, wax, camphor, fine spices, hazelnut and fruit liquor”. However, I doubt anyone is ever going to be allowed to drink it so we’ll have to take their word for it.

Remaining on the subject of barrels, we now travelled on to the absurdly pretty little town of Dambach-la-Ville, which set off some excitable rushing about by the Japanese couples on the trip. Here we visited Famille Hauller. They have been in business since 1776, when François-Joseph Hauller, a master cooper, set up his workshop in Dambach-La-Ville. Eventually the family also started to make wine alongside making the barrels to keep wine in and then, finding that the market for barrels was limited by the fact that Alsace’s wine makers do not buy new barrels for reasons outlined earlier, shifted entirely to wine making by the end of the 20th century. He did first create a wonderful barrel for his wife…

Louis Hauller, the son of Léon Hauller, was the last master cooper in the family, and he was the one who made to move to make viticulture their core business in the 1970’s. He produced his first bottles which he sold directly to customers at wine fairs across France. Since then, Claude Hauller, his son joined the business in 1990, and while they still run the business, the next generation have now also joined in the shape of Claude’s sons, Ludovic and Guillaume. It was Ludovic, who looks after marketing, who showed us around and conducted the tasting, as well as showing us round the cooperage, where his grandfather seems to have amassed more tools than anyone could use in a lifetime.

We tasted a number of wines here too, though less than at Robert Blanck. We also had some further explanations around the making of wine (some people on the tour were starting from a position of considerably less knowledge than others, and our guide was brilliant at handling that). We learned more about the cleaning process by which every few years a residue that forms during the wine-making process is removed from the inside of the barrels. This is what can lead to sediment in bottles of wine, and is apparently sold on to various other industries. I’ve not been able to find out exactly what is done with it, but I’m sure if I keep digging, I’ll eventually get the information.

We again made notes of the wines, though I had to do it by photographing and remembering what we’d had. The tables in the tasting room were made out of old barrels, with racks of wine bottles lining the walls.

We tasted a Riesling Cuvée Prestige, a Riesling Grand Cru Frankstein, a Pinot Gris Cuvée Prestige and a Gewürztraminer Cuvée Prestige, and I would happily have bought several bottles of each. This would turn out to be rather too difficult to achieve, but I have them filed away in my mind for future trips or even buying online. It was now lunchtime, so we headed into Ribeauvillé, another of the picture postcard pretty towns that dot the Alsace wine route from top to bottom. After we’d grabbed the last parking place in town we headed off to find something to eat, taking our guide’s recommendation that we try out the historic Caveau de l’Ami Fritz for some proper local specialities.

It was utterly heaving outside in the garden and on the terrace so we made our way inside into the cool of the old cellars, and grabbed a table. It took quite a long time from ordering to the arrival of our food, but luckily we had a couple of hours to spare. We ordered a main course each and decided we didn’t need anything else. We’d seen the size of the portions…

Here are the liver dumplings that Lynne had.

And this is my Coq au Riesling (a leg thereof) cooked in Riesling with spaetzle.

And that’s before we talk about the bowl of potatoes that came with the dumplings…

Or the salad…

Suitably replete, we staggered out to rejoin our party, having run out of time to look around the town beyond a cursory look at the main street. We had one more wine grower to meet, the splendid Sylvie Spielmann, over in Bergheim.

Here there was much discussion or terroir, unavoidable given that the history of the domaine is linked to the old gypsum quarry which the family had mined for more than a century. For a century or so there were several quarries in the area, but the Spielmann family was the last to continue operating the quarry, while also starting wine growing. Later, Sylvie decided to fill in the old quarry and it now supports 8 hectares of vines from which she creates very fine wines that reflect the uncommon nature of that particular patch of vineyard. The other soils are the much heavier clay, marl and limestone and we were shown samples of each.

She also has two of the 51 grand cru vineyards, Grand Cru Altenberg de Bergheim and Grand Cru Kanzlerberg. Just to add to the fun there are also the Blosenberg and Engelgarten vineyards, which “possess particular qualities that merit a separate winemaking process”.

Although she’s been wine making for quite some time, she remains open to new ideas and in addition to becoming a certified organic producer, she’s also been experimenting with things like “orange” wines and natural wines. Sadly we didn’t get to taste any of those, though we did work our way through quite a lot of different wines. Again, we made a list, and checked that we could call back the following day to buy.

Right now the harvest was in full swing (it had been declared a couple of weeks earlier but that just means that people can start any time they want after that), there was bottling going on, and for good measure Sylvie was having to deal with a bunch of tourists who didn’t look like they were going to buy much (she’d get a pleasant surprise when we turned up the following day and bought 30 bottles including some very fine and quite expensive vendange tardives).

It was getting late-ish now and everyone seemed to be quite tired after all that tasting. I was grateful I didn’t need to drive and that we could again use the tram. Back in Alsace we called in at the gingerbread shop and the chocolate shop to buy some presents for people, including us, and then caught the tram back to Illkirch-Grafenstaden. We stopped at the supermarket on the way and bought some duck parmentier for dinner before retreating to the apartment where we dined on that, along with the previous day’s bretzels and some on the cheese leftover from the ferry trip. We drank a local Pinot Noir and started packing up ready to move on the following morning.

Travel 2019 – Alsace and Baden, Day 5, Strasbourg, Obernai, Dambach-la-ville, Ribeauvillé, Bergheim Tuesday, 17th September 2019 - Alsace Wine Tour (Strasbourg, Obernai, Dambach-la-ville, Ribeauvillé, Bergheim) We made an early start because we needed to meet the tour guide from…

[bigyack-com]

Can Bergdorf Goodman Win the Barneys Race?

The bankruptcy and liquidation of Barneys New York, the cutting-edge department store critical to the career starts of many designers, and that was adored by a set of young, fashionable Manhattanites, has spurred hand-wringing throughout the shopping world.It has also unleashed a wave of high-stakes competition in Manhattan, now playing out against a backdrop of festooned holiday windows and the annual influx of tourists.“There will be a battle for that consumer,” said Terry Lundgren, the former chief executive of Macy’s and the Neiman Marcus Group. “Bergdorf’s, Bloomingdale’s, Saks, the new Neiman Marcus and the new Nordstrom are all going to be after that business,” especially given the younger profile of Barneys shoppers.The winner in that tussle could very well be Bergdorf Goodman.“It’s an opportunity for Bergdorf’s to put their foot on the accelerator and really go after this consumer because of their uniqueness of only having one store,” Mr. Lundgren said.Whether it succeeds or not will be largely the responsibility of a new driver: Darcy Penick, who became president in September 2018. Along with Yumi Shin, the brand’s chief merchant since last year, and Linda Fargo, its fashion director, she completes a troika of power women at the helm of the heritage store.Previously the chief executive of Shopbop, an online retailer owned by Amazon, Ms. Penick, 41, has been charged with shepherding Bergdorf’s, which is owned by the Neiman Marcus Group, into the digital age in the midst of a radically changing landscape for New York department stores. Just this year, Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus opened enormous splashy emporiums, while historic stores have vanished. Lord & Taylor closed its flagship Fifth Avenue store after more than 100 years; Henri Bendel shuttered in January. While Ms. Penick, who speaks in measured tones and has a blond pixie cut, aims to propel Bergdorf’s forward, her office is steeped in reminders of the store’s legacy. There is a letter from Jacqueline Kennedy to a Bergdorf’s associate about hats, and a photo of a young Michael Kors, who got his start at the store. Bobbi Brown’s 10 original lipstick shades are displayed in a frame. The walls are their own exhibit, papered in vibrant photographs of Bergdorf’s famous windows.“I appreciate that it’s complete sensory overload,” Ms. Penick, clad in a more serene black-and-white floral Prada dress, said of the décor. “For me, it’s thinking about digital translations of this.”Ms. Penick is part of a wave of new talent hired by Geoffroy van Raemdonck, the chief executive of Neiman Marcus since February 2018, who has been beating the drum of “transformation” and “modernization” for his company’s luxury retailers (Neiman’s, MyTheresa and Bergdorf’s).Among those, Bergdorf’s is “really at the tip of the pyramid in terms of luxury,” he said in a phone interview, pointing to its customers, sales associates, location (two facing stores next to the Plaza Hotel) and brands.“I was looking for a team that understands fashion, but beyond fashion — taste, and a taste for life and luxury,” Mr. van Raemdonck said. “And then it was very important to me that we expand beyond the world of the store on Fifth Avenue.”Under Ms. Penick, the brand just introduced its first real app (it tested a shoe-centric app long ago) and its website is undergoing an overhaul that will make it look more like a magazine, with new bells and whistles for viewing merchandise and a better reflection of its in-store selection. In fact, Bergdorf’s just started building its first team to “live and breathe” the dot.com, Ms. Penick said, after relying mainly on shared services with the broader Neiman Marcus Group.Some of those changes may seem elementary, for a retailer in 2019, but Ms. Penick pointed out, diplomatically, the internet isn’t that old compared to Bergdorf’s. “The reality is we have a brand, a store, a history that is 120 years old,” she said. “That is, what, six times how long the online environment has been around? And so it’s still in a nascent form.”Words like “modernization” and “transformation” can strike fear into the hearts of Bergdorf’s devotees, from consumers to designers to employees, whose loyalty has been cataloged in documentaries like “Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s.” (The title was based on a New Yorker cartoon, but the phrase was supposedly overheard at the store at least once.) Doormen, gilded revolving doors and chandeliers line the path to Bergdorf’s nine floors — six, if you exclude the ornate BG restaurant on No. 7, the event space on No. 8 and salon on No. 9. Handbags are displayed and often priced like museum pieces, “fur services” remain on offer, and the occasional penguin statue suddenly pops up next an artfully posed mannequin to take some of the stuffing out.Ron Frasch, chief executive of a namesake consulting firm and a former head of Bergdorf’s, has likened it to “the Willy Wonka of retail.” It was singular, he said, in that the chief executive could walk around the store daily and talk to its top customers and top sales associates. Clients were catered to in multiple ways: flown to fashion shows in Europe; allowed into the store at night so they didn’t have to be trailed by bodyguards during the day. “The challenge with Darcy and her team is how you respect that uniqueness and maintain it,” Mr. Frasch said. “The biggest challenge for anyone running Bergdorf’s is to not screw up the value of what Bergdorf’s means to its customer.”Despite her digital pedigree, however, Ms. Penick understands the allure of bricks and mortar.She began her career in Neiman’s training program in Dallas, after college at Wellesley, where she majored in peace and justice studies. While she is from St. Louis, she has been an East Coaster since her college days and currently lives in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. (Surely that adds a dose of hipness to the store?)She went on to become one of two buyers for Bergdorf’s fifth floor, responsible for contemporary women’s clothing brands like Vince, Joie and Juicy Couture. She repeatedly referred to a reaction she calls “the ‘Ooh, Bergdorf’s,’ which flies from people’s mouths when you say the brand.” Next came a short-lived clothing start-up focused on 30-to 50-year-old women, five years at Saks Fifth Avenue working on designer footwear, and Shopbop, where she entered Amazon’s orbit. (No, she never met Jeff Bezos, despite ample time in Seattle and at Shopbop’s headquarters in Madison, Wis.)Now, Ms. Penick said, she is merging the two “underpinnings” of her career in luxury stores and digital shopping.She is overseeing a staff of about 900, including some of retail’s best store associates: More than 60 percent of the salespeople bring in at least $1 million in annual revenue each, the company said. And the new app has a Wishlist tab that will eventually allow associates to build assortments for customers, which can be pulled into fitting rooms on visits or shopped for online. “We really liked the idea of building an environment that supported that exact same type of work online that we’re doing in store,” Ms. Penick said. “It isn’t technology for technology’s sake.”Some technology can be lighter fare, though. Bergdorf’s is creating a separate app tied to a new bar and restaurant — Goodman’s Bar — that is set to open in mid-December in the men’s store, across the street from the flagship. On a recent October morning, Ms. Penick shared a sampling from the restaurant, including avocado toast topped with Russ & Daughters lox, and pastries from Mah-Ze-Dahr Bakery in the West Village.“If you’re shopping for a Kiton suit down away from the bar, we’ll give you the experience of ordering your favorite cocktail or learning about a new spirit,” Ms. Penick said. “We’ll bring that to you in your fitting room.”Bergdorf’s also started a series this spring called Designers Off Duty, which invited customers to spend time with designers in unusual settings. Phillip Lim, who recently published a cookbook, taught a cooking class for one event where clients made one of his mother’s recipes and then shared a meal with him. At another event, Jason Wu held a private sketching class with models wearing pieces from an upcoming collection. Then there’s the new initiative known as BG Radar, which showcases emerging designers in stores and online — just as Barneys used to do. Coincidence?While Mr. van Raemdonck acknowledged that “it’s never something great for anyone in the industry to see an established household name like Barneys be challenged and go through liquidation,” he said that he believed that Bergdorf’s would benefit from its exit.While Bergdorf’s does not disclose its sales, Mr. van Raemdonck said he expected that its business could increase significantly in coming years, noting that its digital revenue is not yet at the level of the Neiman’s chain, where online sales exceed 30 percent of total sales.“I do think that the growth of Bergdorf from a fashion standpoint is going to continue to accelerate,” he said. “We are at the beginning of our journey.” Read the full article

[ryodan]

Do all evens!

1. selfie2. what would you name your future kids? Undecided??? I like the name Rayaan (not Ryan,, Rayaan which is the name of a river in the Islamic depiction of paradise) for boys? But undecided. 3. do you miss anyone?4. what are you looking forward to? Going home.5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?6. is it hard for you to get over someone? Surprisingly? Not really. 7. what was your life like last year?8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Yes, always when I’m on my period 9. who did you last see in person?10. are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really but it depends on who I’m with.11. are you listening to music right now?12. what is something you want right now? Not to fail my exams. Sushi.13. how do you feel right now?14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Yesterday. 15. personality description16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yes, many times. 17. opinion on insecurities.18. do you miss how things were a year ago? Not really. 2 years ago tho? Yes.19. have you ever been to New York?20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Yes I’m changing by tame impala21. age and birthday?22. description of crush. He’s very attractive all my friends are like damn girl good taste?? Curly dark hair and blue eyes. Pretty tall. Very artistic, he’s a photographer who’s well traveled because he wins in competitions that have travel ticket prizes. Likes physics god bless. Is Algerian and I love Algerian men. I have 0 chances with him though because he happens to be my brothers friend and his brother happens to be my brothers room mate and best friend. He probably has too much dignity to ever romance me lmao. 23. fear(s)24. height: 5'5925. role model26. idol(s) Harry styles is just very kind and takes such pride in being unique and just being himself? The rest of one direction too except maybe Liam and zayn no shade no tea I love them but they are dumb. Malala yousef is a girl who payed the ultimate price for peace without being a pacifist. Fatima bint Muhammed (the daughter of the final prophet in Islam and a woman nicknamed the most beautiful one with the most generous of hearts for how charitable she was). Fatima Al fihri (the woman who opened the first ever university) Asia imraat phiraon (the wife of the Pharoah in the Islamic telling of the story who was tortured endlessly but refused to give up what she believed in..her last words as she smiled in the face of death were ‘God build for me a house in your paradise’ and he gave her a castle instead). Mary mother of Jesus (in the Islamic telling of the story, of course the mother of Jesus who endured endless slander but stood firm and confident in the face of adversity. The only woman who served in the temple of Solomon despite the sexist views back in the day, a woman so highly revered that the Quran says she is favoured by God above all women). Rufaida Al Aslamia (the first nurse to ever perform surgery). Angelina Jolie. Galileo. Abraham. (In the Islamic telling of the story, I just greatly appreciate how when his dad shunned him he said 'may peace be upon you ill ask my lord to forgive you’. Also that man is iconic and basically created the 3 most major ideologies of today??). Jesus (in the Islamic and Christian telling of the story, this man is just a hipster who wants peace and love and hates hate. I love him) Muhammed Ibn Abdullah (aka?? The most iconic man to have ever lived?? My prophet??? I converted to Islam and I’m just really glad that we have this beautiful generous man as our final prophet)27. things i hate28. i’ll love you if… you’re easy to talk to and we vibe. Plus if you have gud food resources.29. favourite film(s)30. favourite tv show(s) The Simpsons. The office. Futurama. Seinfeld. Friends. Rick and morty. GOT. Monk. Dexter. Scream queens. AHS.31. 3 random facts32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? Girls tbh. although I have guy friends too, girls just get me and I love us.33. something you want to learn34. most embarrassing moment my literal entire existence but my uncle caught me scratching my ass once at age 7. During my phallic stage I was caught by my brother being a weird kid in front of the mirror?? I leaned back from my school principal trying to kiss me on the cheek and she looked so offended. In a debate competition (which I won first place in muahaha) I accidentally said we should give bullies drugs in front of like a100 people. I laughed in a play and caused a domino effect. I’ve crashed into multiple glass doors with too many confidence. I’ve eaten chips laced with sewage water. I pretended i knew the lyrics to Hannah Montanas theme song so I could fit in with the Kool kidzz and got put on the spot only to sing 'you get the best of both worlds hottest nannaaananan’. I yelled at a bunch of Saudis a very racist slur (listen i was 11) and got a slap to the face in the middle of the supermarket. Got caught giving my friend a back massage in a shady place at school,, she was moaning,,,I was on top of her,,,you can guess what they assumed. Got caught pretending to be a worm with my best friend in the audio visual room?? We were acting out the worm kink fic. lucky me though, I have about 0 shame??? Like wow I have a pee problem that my teachers say I’m way too open about. When I went to the doctor and he expected me to be shy but I was like yeah man I piss a lot and nah it doesn’t burn my urethra,, he was very surprised at my lack of shame. So there’s that.35. favourite subject36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? Live independently. Get a successful career. Do some research in my field 37. favourite actor/actress38. favourite comedian(s) fuck I do stand up so this is hard to narrow down. Louis Ck is a classic. Bo Burnham. Daniel Sloss. Russell Peters. David Chappell. Russell Howard. 39. favourite sport(s)40. favourite memory don’t really have one? Either playing in the snow in France? Visiting Disney for the first time? Playing with my brothers when our parents travelled? My first farawell party? Not sure tbh. 41. relationship status42. favourite book(s) A brief history of time. Energy the subtle concept. Astrophysics for people in a hurry. Everyday. Wonder. The complete works of Oscar Wilde. The Harry Potter series.43. favourite song ever44. age you get mistaken for: 22 lolol45. how you found out about your idol46. what my last text message says: my friend sent this 'My cousin’s aunts and grandma sent me a video where all of them talked to me personally in it and they reminded me of the memories we had and now im crying’47. turn ons48. turn offs: Loud eating. Loud breathing. Loud talking (even though it’s what I do). Talking over me. Being pompous. Being overly serious or stern. 49. where i want to be right now50. favourite picture of your idol. Can’t add that on phone.51. starsign52. something i’m talented at: I can sing (I’ve won a talent show!). I can draw although I’m not that great and it’s limited to Manga style drawings. I can write, specially targeted writing like articles and speeches. I can memorise things really fast bc eidetic memory so I’m always that fact bank my friends come to. Most importantly my number one talent is speaking. Sounds silly but talking is what I do best. Public speaking, stand up that makes people laugh and debates are always things I get first place in and it’s where I feel most confident in myself.53. 5 things that make me happy54. something thats worrying me at the moment: Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. Exams. My future. Exams.55. tumblr friends56. favourite food(s) sushi and burgers 57. favourite animal(s)58. description of my best friend: she is 5'3. Has chestnut coloured hair and brown eyes. She’s pretty. Very Palestinian. Very funny. Very hard working. Like insanely hard working. Like teachers tell her to chill hardworking. Weird. A great listener. Secretive but I appreciate that about her since I’m secretive too. 59. why i joined tumblr60. ask me anything you want: go for it. Thanks anon! Hope my embarrassing feats don’t make you unfollow me.

[carrotlunch07-blog]

Red Beer Is the Midwest’s Cult-Favorite Morning Beverage

It’s 10:30 a.m. outside of Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska — home of the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers — but plenty of people here have already had a few alcoholic beverages, as indicated by the difficulty some have controlling the volume of their voices. Technically the area around the stadium is dry, but every group in sight in this parking lot has a cooler full of light beer, and many are also toting a bottle of tomato juice or bloody mary mix — though neither are intended for bloody marys. They’re for red beer, the michelada’s bland but mysterious Midwestern cousin: light domestic beer mixed with a healthy blob of tomato juice.

“Beer isn’t the best-tasting thing at eight in the morning,” said Scott Vonderharr, who drove down from Omaha for a tailgate. “If you’re gonna have a drink, I like to put a little tomato juice in it.”

Red beer is well-known in Nebraska, but its origins are unclear; a local historical society’s menu collection lacks any mention of it. Hypotheses abound, though: Vonderharr’s view on palatability in the morning is one theory why red beer exists; another is that it’s good for hangovers. Some drink it because they want to add flavor to the notoriously flavorless light beers they have on hand. A more cynical take theorizes that tomato juice companies used red beer as a marketing tool.

On this particular sunny morning outside Memorial Stadium, the binge-drinking is fueled by optimism: After years of stagnation, the world is the Huskers’ oyster. Many people sport red shirts with slogans hailing Scott Frost, the new coach who led the team to national glory as a quarterback in the ’90s. Other shirts say “Make Nebraska Great Again.”

Red beer’s thematic coloring leads many Nebraskans to think it’s a product of the tailgates, but the drink is more widespread than that: In different areas of the Midwest and West, a red beer can also be known as a red eye, red rooster, red draw, bloody beer, or Montana mary. At a dive bar or a steakhouse you can get one without fuss; a bartender at a more upscale place, if they agree to mix one for you, might serve it with a side of condescension.

Like many other beloved regional dishes, the progenitor of red beer is unclear, but the simplest version of red beer’s murky origin story is that it was imported from Mexican drinking culture. Micheladas, or beer flavored with a combination of tomato juice, lime, salt, and various spices, sauces, and seasonings, are one of the most popular alcoholic drinks in Mexico, and well-known to taco lovers and brunch-goers in America’s cities.

According to legend, the michelada was invented as a hangover cure by a bartender at Potosino Sports Club in San Luis Potosí in the 1960s, and its ingredients vary by region. It can be as simple as salt and lemon, or it can include bouillon powder, chamoy, tomato juice, or Clamato. (Major brewers have been attuned to the drink’s appeal for some time: Anheuser-Busch sells a beer pre-mixed with Clamato, salt, and lime.)

Pouring and drinking a pitcher of red beer at Neighber’s bar in Omaha

Red beer could also be, like many other tomato-based drinks, simply a case of convergent mixology. By the early 20th century, tomato-based drinks were on the rise: Louis Perrin created what’s considered to be the first tomato juice cocktail in 1917, and Fernand Petiot is largely credited with creating the bloody mary in Paris in 1921. The ascendancy of such drinks was assisted by the invention of canned tomato juice in the 1920s. The Bloody Caesar — a stripped-down version of the bloody mary with clam juice — took Canada by storm in the 1970s. Red beer seems to have emerged somewhere in the midst of all these other beverage inventions: EV Durling, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist from New York, was puzzled by a man ordering beer and tomato juice in 1946. “When I saw him drink it, I shuddered,” he wrote.

Midwesterners usually add tomato juice to Michelob, Keystone, Bud Light, or Busch Light (often referred to by bros as “Busch Latté”), and they don’t adhere to a standard for the ratio of beer to “red,” leaving it up to drinkers’ individual tastes. “You know why I drank it in college?” asked tailgater Dale Lefferts. “Because it gives you the runs! It cleans you out.”

Lefferts said he only puts a splash of beer in a glass that’s “three-quarters red,” to be consumed with lunch. His digestive theory goes along with the convention among Nebraskans that it’s a drink best suited for the morning.

From the street, the Neighber’s bar in Omaha looks like a suburban version of the false-front architecture of Western films. At 6:30 a.m., it’s quiet inside — just three men drinking alone. One animatedly plays video games on a touchscreen system. Another sits quietly with a Busch Light and a pack of menthol cigarettes, while the other sips on a clear mixed drink.

“[This early], it’s usually a couple of regulars, older guys,” says Josh Bruckner, the son of Neighber’s owner, on the bar’s typical morning clientele. He’s been working mornings here for seven years. “The shift lets out at the hospital over here about 7 to 7:30, then we usually see a big rush of nurses,” he says, referring to the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Sure enough, by 7:30 a.m., there’s a group of nurses in scrubs drinking bottles of Busch Light.

Leah Warren, one of the nurses, takes sips directly from a mini-pitcher of red beer. It’ll set her back $4.50: $4.25 for “whatever light beer Josh pours,” and a quarter for the “red.”

“It’s kind of like breakfast in a cup,” she says. On the way out of Neighber’s, patrons can grab a paper cup of joe from a drip coffee machine before facing the morning traffic on Saddle Creek Road.

The morning crowd at Neighber’s in Omaha

Despite its popularity, a lot of beer drinkers have never heard of red beer, or simply don’t care for it. Darrell Smith, the executive director of the American Breweriana Association, a group of beer aficionados, didn’t know what red beer was; Bill Baburek, the owner of Crescent Moon, one of the oldest craft beer bars in Omaha, isn’t a fan.

“We went to Chicago and when we ordered a red beer, they looked at us and were like, ‘What? What is that?’” said Tina Meeske, a hairdresser from Lincoln, over a red beer at the Railyard, an outdoor drinking hall near Lincoln.

Chris Hernstrom, master brewer at Bolo Beer Co. in Valentine, Nebraska, says red beer’s popularity in the Great Plains might have to do with the historical unavailability of more flavorful beers in small towns. For the older generation, especially in rural Nebraska where it would be rare to see anything but light domestics on the menu, red beer is a way to get a drink with more flavor and depth.

”It’s still relatively hard to find tap beer in a lot of small towns,” Hernstrom said. “Nobody uses a microbrew with a red beer. But almost everywhere has Busch Light or Bud Light.”

Part of the drink’s appeal is also the adjustability of the tomato-to-beer ratio: Some red beer drinkers are just beginning to consume alcohol, while others use it — much like a bloody mary — as the hair of the dog. Tailgater Lefferts claims his red-heavy beer is better for hangovers, while bartender Bruckner says patrons ordering red beer often cite a hungover need for vitamins.

Outside Memorial Stadium, Christine Kupfer said her grandmother likes red beer at any time of the day. “My grandma is 85, and every time we go out to dinner, she orders a red beer,” she said. “Old people like red beer, young people like red beer. Boys like red beer, girls like red beer. Everyone likes red beer. Unless you don’t like tomato juice.”

Jahd Khalil is a radio and print journalist based in Cairo, Egypt. Photographer Alex Matzke is currently based in Omaha focused on Community Building and Mentorship. Editor: Erin DeJesus

Eater.com

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2018/12/19/18146459/red-beer-nebraska-tomato-juice-morning-drink-tailgate-midwest

[faucetdouble51-blog]

Red Beer Is the Midwest’s Cult-Favorite Morning Beverage

It’s 10:30 a.m. outside of Memorial Stadium in Lincoln, Nebraska — home of the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers — but plenty of people here have already had a few alcoholic beverages, as indicated by the difficulty some have controlling the volume of their voices. Technically the area around the stadium is dry, but every group in sight in this parking lot has a cooler full of light beer, and many are also toting a bottle of tomato juice or bloody mary mix — though neither are intended for bloody marys. They’re for red beer, the michelada’s bland but mysterious Midwestern cousin: light domestic beer mixed with a healthy blob of tomato juice.

“Beer isn’t the best-tasting thing at eight in the morning,” said Scott Vonderharr, who drove down from Omaha for a tailgate. “If you’re gonna have a drink, I like to put a little tomato juice in it.”

Red beer is well-known in Nebraska, but its origins are unclear; a local historical society’s menu collection lacks any mention of it. Hypotheses abound, though: Vonderharr’s view on palatability in the morning is one theory why red beer exists; another is that it’s good for hangovers. Some drink it because they want to add flavor to the notoriously flavorless light beers they have on hand. A more cynical take theorizes that tomato juice companies used red beer as a marketing tool.

On this particular sunny morning outside Memorial Stadium, the binge-drinking is fueled by optimism: After years of stagnation, the world is the Huskers’ oyster. Many people sport red shirts with slogans hailing Scott Frost, the new coach who led the team to national glory as a quarterback in the ’90s. Other shirts say “Make Nebraska Great Again.”

Red beer’s thematic coloring leads many Nebraskans to think it’s a product of the tailgates, but the drink is more widespread than that: In different areas of the Midwest and West, a red beer can also be known as a red eye, red rooster, red draw, bloody beer, or Montana mary. At a dive bar or a steakhouse you can get one without fuss; a bartender at a more upscale place, if they agree to mix one for you, might serve it with a side of condescension.

Like many other beloved regional dishes, the progenitor of red beer is unclear, but the simplest version of red beer’s murky origin story is that it was imported from Mexican drinking culture. Micheladas, or beer flavored with a combination of tomato juice, lime, salt, and various spices, sauces, and seasonings, are one of the most popular alcoholic drinks in Mexico, and well-known to taco lovers and brunch-goers in America’s cities.

According to legend, the michelada was invented as a hangover cure by a bartender at Potosino Sports Club in San Luis Potosí in the 1960s, and its ingredients vary by region. It can be as simple as salt and lemon, or it can include bouillon powder, chamoy, tomato juice, or Clamato. (Major brewers have been attuned to the drink’s appeal for some time: Anheuser-Busch sells a beer pre-mixed with Clamato, salt, and lime.)

Pouring and drinking a pitcher of red beer at Neighber’s bar in Omaha

Red beer could also be, like many other tomato-based drinks, simply a case of convergent mixology. By the early 20th century, tomato-based drinks were on the rise: Louis Perrin created what’s considered to be the first tomato juice cocktail in 1917, and Fernand Petiot is largely credited with creating the bloody mary in Paris in 1921. The ascendancy of such drinks was assisted by the invention of canned tomato juice in the 1920s. The Bloody Caesar — a stripped-down version of the bloody mary with clam juice — took Canada by storm in the 1970s. Red beer seems to have emerged somewhere in the midst of all these other beverage inventions: EV Durling, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist from New York, was puzzled by a man ordering beer and tomato juice in 1946. “When I saw him drink it, I shuddered,” he wrote.

Midwesterners usually add tomato juice to Michelob, Keystone, Bud Light, or Busch Light (often referred to by bros as “Busch Latté”), and they don’t adhere to a standard for the ratio of beer to “red,” leaving it up to drinkers’ individual tastes. “You know why I drank it in college?” asked tailgater Dale Lefferts. “Because it gives you the runs! It cleans you out.”

Lefferts said he only puts a splash of beer in a glass that’s “three-quarters red,” to be consumed with lunch. His digestive theory goes along with the convention among Nebraskans that it’s a drink best suited for the morning.

From the street, the Neighber’s bar in Omaha looks like a suburban version of the false-front architecture of Western films. At 6:30 a.m., it’s quiet inside — just three men drinking alone. One animatedly plays video games on a touchscreen system. Another sits quietly with a Busch Light and a pack of menthol cigarettes, while the other sips on a clear mixed drink.

“[This early], it’s usually a couple of regulars, older guys,” says Josh Bruckner, the son of Neighber’s owner, on the bar’s typical morning clientele. He’s been working mornings here for seven years. “The shift lets out at the hospital over here about 7 to 7:30, then we usually see a big rush of nurses,” he says, referring to the University of Nebraska Medical Center. Sure enough, by 7:30 a.m., there’s a group of nurses in scrubs drinking bottles of Busch Light.

Leah Warren, one of the nurses, takes sips directly from a mini-pitcher of red beer. It’ll set her back $4.50: $4.25 for “whatever light beer Josh pours,” and a quarter for the “red.”

“It’s kind of like breakfast in a cup,” she says. On the way out of Neighber’s, patrons can grab a paper cup of joe from a drip coffee machine before facing the morning traffic on Saddle Creek Road.

The morning crowd at Neighber’s in Omaha

Despite its popularity, a lot of beer drinkers have never heard of red beer, or simply don’t care for it. Darrell Smith, the executive director of the American Breweriana Association, a group of beer aficionados, didn’t know what red beer was; Bill Baburek, the owner of Crescent Moon, one of the oldest craft beer bars in Omaha, isn’t a fan.

“We went to Chicago and when we ordered a red beer, they looked at us and were like, ‘What? What is that?’” said Tina Meeske, a hairdresser from Lincoln, over a red beer at the Railyard, an outdoor drinking hall near Lincoln.

Chris Hernstrom, master brewer at Bolo Beer Co. in Valentine, Nebraska, says red beer’s popularity in the Great Plains might have to do with the historical unavailability of more flavorful beers in small towns. For the older generation, especially in rural Nebraska where it would be rare to see anything but light domestics on the menu, red beer is a way to get a drink with more flavor and depth.

”It’s still relatively hard to find tap beer in a lot of small towns,” Hernstrom said. “Nobody uses a microbrew with a red beer. But almost everywhere has Busch Light or Bud Light.”

Part of the drink’s appeal is also the adjustability of the tomato-to-beer ratio: Some red beer drinkers are just beginning to consume alcohol, while others use it — much like a bloody mary — as the hair of the dog. Tailgater Lefferts claims his red-heavy beer is better for hangovers, while bartender Bruckner says patrons ordering red beer often cite a hungover need for vitamins.

Outside Memorial Stadium, Christine Kupfer said her grandmother likes red beer at any time of the day. “My grandma is 85, and every time we go out to dinner, she orders a red beer,” she said. “Old people like red beer, young people like red beer. Boys like red beer, girls like red beer. Everyone likes red beer. Unless you don’t like tomato juice.”

Jahd Khalil is a radio and print journalist based in Cairo, Egypt. Photographer Alex Matzke is currently based in Omaha focused on Community Building and Mentorship. Editor: Erin DeJesus

Eater.com

The freshest news from the food world every day

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Source: https://www.eater.com/2018/12/19/18146459/red-beer-nebraska-tomato-juice-morning-drink-tailgate-midwest

[hrrytomlinson]

so i’ve been making monthly fic recs for a full year now! that’s so insane to think about honestly. thanks for all the support! my first monthly fic rec was for april 2016 and it had 10 fics on it. now they have upwards of almost 30 fics. that’s character development. anyway...

here are a bunch of fics I’ve enjoyed and loved reading throughout the month of march. I recommend that you read these great fics in april, if you haven’t already. 

(all fics with a star are my favorites and if there are two stars then it was a favorite favorite)

1. Perfect Storm (80k)*

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

2. The Night Sky is Changing Overhead (124k)**

Harry is a tattoo artist, Louis is a drama professor, and they meet during an argument at a café.

3. All I Wish Not to Remember (71k)**

What happens when all you had, all you loved, all you held dear is viciously ripped away from you? When your inner core, once filled with love and hope and light, blackens to raw, dark hatred?

What happens when your soul is hopelessly consumed and no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you attempt to shake yourself out, to rid your tormented mind of the opaque feelings that plague you, all you can see, all you can feel, all you can want is...

Revenge.

A modern adaption of The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. A tragic tale of timeless undying love, merciless revenge, and selfless sacrifice.

4. I Sam Therefore I Am (4k)

Louis and Harry are both creative souls but they aren't friends, not by a long shot.

This is the Rival Slam Poets AU that no one asked for.

5. Use Your Words (6k)

College AU where jock!Harry always serenades flowercrown!Louis with love songs in their music class. What nobody knows is that Harry actually kinda means the words he sings.

But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.

6. We’re Going Down Swinging (21k)

Everyone knows that revenge plots never work. Liam, Zayn, and Niall have told them as much, but Hell hath no fury like Louis Tomlinson scorned. His new friend Harry takes a bit of convincing but, once he agrees to help, Louis is sure his ex will regret the day he decided to cheat.

That is, if Louis can stick to the plan and stop falling for his co-conspirator.

Or, the one where Louis and Harry fake it til they make it, so to speak.

7. Looking in the Dark (With an Empty Heart) (25k)

In a perfect world One Direction is not interviewed by idiots. In a perfect world Harry doesn't have to defend his relationship with Louis.

Harry and Louis are out, and the whole world loves their love story, until an interviewer takes hints that they're together for a very long time now, and their libido must have changed since they were young. They don't say anything, until the media turns against them, saying their relationship must be very dull after all these years.

The only thing the media doesn't know, that Louis is asexual. His biggest fear is that Harry will leave him because of it, even though Harry grabs every chance to comfort him how perfect their relationship is, and he wouldn't want to change anything.

So when in an interview the host directly calls them out on their sex-life, Harry snaps at them without thinking, outing Louis.

8. It’s All Brand New Because of You (17k)

It’s nearing six o’clock in the evening, and despite the fact that it’s summer, the aquarium has emptied out considerably and it’s quiet as Louis wanders the exhibits. A few people try to ask him questions as he wanders, but Louis knows less about the creatures in the tanks than they do, so he keeps having to apologize and explain that he’s just a counselor, not a biologist.

AKA, Louis starts a new job as a summer camp counselor at the local aquarium and Harry is a biologist who really likes teaching people about the ocean.

9. Zero to Sixty in Three Point Five (2k)

Harry bumbles himself out of a bind...and into a boyfriend. It's Niall's fault, of course. As it always is.

10. Wings to Break Your Fall (102k)*

“I’m glad you like my clothes,” Harry whispers, sliding his arms further along the couch until he’s speaking directly into Louis’ ear. “Would you like me to take them off?”

Or Strip Club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

Featuring: spilled drinks, meddling mums, accidental insults, a pivotal plot point masquerading as a private dance, Harry with wings, slow morning sex, a secret relationship, and tea that fixes everything.

11. For the Sake of Propriety (52k)

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for. His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best. When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice. But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

12. Feels Like Coming Home (60k)**

The last thing Harry Styles expects when he's hanging out at the Someday Cafe in Somerville one rainy October day is for his ex, Louis Tomlinson to walk through the door, but that's exactly what happens. After a spectacularly ugly break-up three years prior, Harry hasn't heard one word from Louis, and he's moved on. Gotten over him. But having Louis back in his life, not to mention working at the restaurant where he's a chef, isn't easy, and the feelings that Harry thought he'd left turn out to be not so easily forgotten.

This is a story about love and the power of forgiveness, and how the hard choices we make define us, and change our lives.

13. Love Is a Kitten From Hell (8k)**

Louis Tomlinson passes himself off as an arrogant prick at his new school to hide the fact that he's terrified of being bullied again. Just when he's getting tired of putting up walls, he finds himself in a local pet shop where he finds a sanctuary playing with the kittens in the front window.

Harry Styles is the popular football player who works at the pet shop, secretly watching the boy he thought was utterly unlikable prove him wrong.

Partnered together for a class project, Harry gets more and more hints that Louis is actually someone worth getting to know. But the real question is, will Louis let Harry in?

14. Our Garden Grows (5k)*

Harry lives a rather mundane and dreary life, full of the same sorts of routine day in and day out.

One terribly dull and rainy day, a letter arrives from an L.T. who would very much wish for Harry to write back.

Too bad Harry can't figure out how.

15. I've Been Wandering Round (But I Still Come Back to You) (27k)

"Harry had always been beautiful, but lately he’d blossomed into this tall, sexy, man and Louis was having trouble dealing with it. And so, it seemed, were his hormones."

OR The one where Louis and Harry are best friends and co-stars on a popular television series and Louis inconveniently discovers he's in love with him in the middle of a press tour.

16. When We Were Younger (76k)**

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again.

His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse.

Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

17. Can't Start A Fire Without A Spark (22k)**

Louis Tomlinson is the pop sensation with his first new single out since taking a personal hiatus from the spotlight. Harry is a paparazzi hired to photograph him during promo. Louis hates paparazzi with a passion, but there’s just something about the pretty young pap with wide green eyes and chocolate curls that Louis can’t shake from his head.

18. ‘Til I Tasted You (14k)*

Louis is Harry Styles' biggest fan. It doesn't matter that Harry is famous for being a food blogger and Louis can't cook to save his life.

At least, until Harry offers to give Louis a cooking lesson. Then it matters just a teensy bit.

19. Life Was a Song, You Came Along (37k)**

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them.

It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.  

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain.

find my other monthly fic recs here

[kpop-graphics]

Beauty And The Beast | 1

Description: A beautiful detective falls in love with an ex-con trying to hid from the outside world inside of a warehouse. And to keep his secret from the world and the detective. 

Words: 3.2kish

A bust of wind blew her black hair in her face, shivers ran up and down the girl’s spine and goosebumps rose on her pale skin. She normally tied her hair back because it got in the way but today she couldn’t be bother to. It was Monday night; she’d just finished her lengthy and boring shift at the diner. Waiting on tables wasn’t hard but it was boring, she knew she was living the apple pie life but she didn’t want it. She missed the excitement of her previous life, the thrill of being wanted across several western states gave her quite a thrill.

The roar of a car engine caught her attention, rushing to the side of the building as she watched the black car pull up in front of her only exit. “Very bad.” She whispered to herself, turning on her heels walking back the way she came. The slam of the car door brought her to a stop, she didn’t see their faces but she saw the slimy looking dog figure sitting in the middle of the space between her and the empty streets. The list of ‘What If’s sat in the front of her mind tumbling around her head, upon hearing footsteps and clacking claws getting closer she threw herself down the side alley quickly noticing that only to two men broke into a run nipping at her heels like a couple of wolves.

The ‘What ifs’ raged over everything else. What are they? Who are they? Whoever it is wants me dead? Why do they want me dead? The second possibility settled at the front of her mind. She hoped they weren’t hunters and that they didn’t want her dead because of someone she pissed off in the past. The claws clacking against the cement stopped as she turned a corner using the shadows as a safety blanketed to catch her breath peaking around the corner she pretended not to be phased by the two figured and the animal that had its nose high in the air as if it was scenting her out.

The glowing eyes screamed danger, paired with the inky black coat that hung from the animal like it wasn’t his almost like a zombie and how it clings to every curve and crevasse, She looked around frantic for a way out of the dead end. An emergency exit opened the orange glow caught her attention. She side stepped keeping her back to the wall towards it. Once she was closer to the door she ran to it making a lot more noise than she planned too. The thing’s ears flattened against its head as it growled low to the ground as if it was ready to attack anything that came too close.

Gripping the handle she moved inside with the door half closed. When she felt a white hot pain in her calf and a horror movie worthy screen roared from her throat. The thing had clammed its elongated teeth into her calf and began to drag her backwards towards the outside. She continued to scream tears flowed down her face with no end in sight, begging for her life wouldn’t seem to work because in her mind it wouldn’t understand even if she screamed bloody murder at it.

The thing dug its claws into the soft skin of her stomach after he had dragged her behind a dumpster. Cracking her ribs with its weight alone her breathing began to labor and she tasted blood indicating that something has been pierced and she was dieing. It tore away at her pulling at the stings of flesh and organs that wouldn’t come away with the sheer force of its jaw alone. It kept a large blood soaked paw on her clavicle forcing her to keep still as it ate. Blood ran into the drain and mixed with the rain puddled from earlier in the day. he only hoped that someone had hear her and called the cops.

It growled as she reached up to try and push it away with her dieing strength, she tried twice more her strength slowly leaving her each time on the last time it turned and sunk its teeth into her wrist and began to pull on it with all of its weight and the strength in its jaw held onto her fast and tight. The pain caused the edges of her vision to fray and blur black slowly overcoming her visions. The last things she heard was the squelching of wet boots but the only thing sounded like the thing had gone back to its original meal and started to tear more at her insides. As her vision began to darken she whimpered out a broken sentence. “Please....eomma, Jihee...forgive me.”

The night had brought a blanketed of darkness with it along with some prying eyes. Loud screeching sirens screamed as the Police cruisers pulled up one by one closing off the hotel entrance to the public. Some people gathered others carried on with their night.

Jihee had received the call from her partner Mina, the two had been partners ever since they joined the police force being paired together in the good cop bad cop sense. Mina was all brute force and violence whereas Jihee was all soft and manipulated the perp into confessing. Together they had solved all the cases thrown at them.

The two climbed out of the car shutting off the engine and the sirens and began walking together towards the scene. "Shoulda’ tased him 'Kind of a turn on' So what he had a thing for handcuffs. Don’t they know they just remind us of work?" Mina listed off walking into the wind towards the yellow tape that cornered off the entrance of the hotel.

"Mina, he didn't ask for the cuffs." Jihee muttered quickly as Mina sighed letting out a frustrated huff

"You have a blind spot for douches. When I date a douche I know he’s a douche which is why I'm on a man cleanse." Mina stated holding her hands up in defense

"Good cause you can be my date to my dad’s engagement party." Jihee rattled on quickly flashing the uniform on the tape her badge "Special Crimes." Jihee shouted over the sirens and chattering ducking under the yellow take with Mina closely behind her.

On the inside the place was well lit and looked expensive the two were guided towards the women's bathroom where there they were handed rubber gloves. Expensive looking monochrome colours with a shine on almost every surface, in the center there was a woman who looked like she was here for business not pleasure.

"911 got a call off a cell at 8:32 tonight. No recording." Mina repeated the report sounding like a broken record; to Jihee who had already kneeled down beside the red head and began examining her wounds.

"Blunt trauma to the head. No wallet, no ID, No hotel key." Jihee listed off the missing belongings as she shuffled through the dead woman's purse looking for anything that could point them in the right direction of her murderer.

"Robbery Homicide?" Mina asked jotting some notes down in the cliche note pad she carried around.

"And Leave behind a Louis Vuitton? You know how much these things cost?" Jihee spoke looking up at Mina from her crouched position.

"No, and not every robber knows their Louis Vuitton." Mina argued back her tone heavy with her own accent."

"I knew it was a Louis." The security guard interjected attracting both women's attention. Mina shrugged her shoulders and went back to noting things down.

"Regardless, it’s a pretty public to rob and kill someone." Jihee mentally made a list of all the reasons why whoever murdered this woman wanted something.

"And this place is a five-star hotel." The Security guard interrupted again. Mina turned to look at him.

"Okay. Then can we get some five-star service? Maybe take a look at some security footage?" Mina asked her voice high pitched and sarcastic sounding. "Yeah? Oh, great." She continued stepping over the dead woman to follow the security guard leaving Jihee alone to look over the body.

Jihee crouched back down over the woman looking for a reason as to why anyone would want to murder her because she looked like a nice woman. She was dressed to look like she was on her way too, from or in the middle of a meeting and had to slip into the bathroom to touch up or for some other reason. The flash of the camera brought Jihee back from her intense staring at the woman.

Jihee and Mina were joined by their captain who was already looking at the CCTV at the entrance of the hotel and at the hallway the bathroom was on. "An Injured woman walks into a hotel, no one even blinks." He said speaking to both women rather than anyone else. Jihee watched the screen as the woman stumbled down the hall holding her side.

"You gotta love New York."

"So where is our bad guy?" The Captain asked no one in particular.

"That we don't know, but we did ID the Vic off cell records. Ashley Webster. Not a hotel guest." Jihee answered glancing at the computer screen and back at her boss.

"Hey, boss. Google says she's executive editor at Couture Bleu Magazine." Mina repeated eye fixed firmly on her phone screen. Turning it so both her boss and Jihee could see the screen.

"She have a husband? Boyfriend? Lesbian lover?" Boss asked fixed on Jihee.

"Yeah, husband - Ales Webster. Big fashion photographer. They're, like, a page six power couple." Jihee answered arms crossed over her chest.

"So, where is Mr. Powerful now?"

"Haven't been able to track him down."

Jihee took the plastic baggie from the CSU worker and turned to her boss and partner. "But CSU did lift prints off a button.”

"Hey, get me the results." Their boss ordered taking the baggie from Jihee and handing it to Mina as he left to attend to his other special crimes detectives.

"Right." Mina answered taking the baggie and looking over the information written on the baggie.

After the two got back to the precinct after about 4 mugs of coffee to stay awake. Jihee headed straight for her computer and slipped the fingerprint into the AFIS and ran the fingerprints but an hour ago. Jihee was leant back in her chair with half an empty coffee mug in her hand and her jacket splayed over her as a makeshift blanket to shield her from the cold of the outside.

Watching the computer sift through all the fingerprints in the database wasn't everything it hoped to be. Staring at the board of the side with all the possible suspects on it. From Ashley's husband to her assistant to ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends.

The computer beeped drawing Jihee’s attention to it. "AFIS got a hit, and it’s not the husband. Guy's name is Jungkook Jeon." Jihee said quickly sending the information to the large screen that had her boss and partners gathered around.

"What are his priors?"

"Scamming people out of thousands of dollars and assault on two people which he claims was self defense but pleaded guilty in court." Mina muttered reading off of the screen.

"He's dead. Jungkook, South Korea, Busan. Murdered by one of those big shot loan sharks, 2010. The rest is redacted." Jihee read off of the guys file that had popped up on screen shortly after the match was found.

"So, how does a dead guy's prints end up on a fashion editors buttons?" Boss asked sipping in the coffee mug in hand.

"I would say talk to his family, but look, next of kin, they've all passed, too." Mina pointed to the screen under next of kin in black bold lettering was 'Deceased'. Jihee looked at Mina and her boss before telling them the other thing that had caught her eye.

"Here. He disguised himself as a MD under the name Jisoo Park in South Korea, ER resident, Seoul General hospital. Scamming patients out of their life insurance." Jihee's fingers clacked away on the keyboard to bring up the guy’s MD badge that was on file for some reason. He looked fairly young for being in his early 30's. Obviously Asian by his faint honey colored skin. He looked as if he still had a little bit of baby fat in his cheeks so he wasn't as chiseled as many people his age down to his strong brows that framed his doe eyes. He looked oddly handsome for his age.

"From 2005 to 2008. Okay, let’s find come colleagues see if they know something." The Captain finished for Jihee then broke away from the screen while Mina grabbed her jacket and slipped it on, Jihee looked at her screen on more time looking at his picture while he looked familiar she couldn't place where she'd seen him before if she'd seen him.

"Jihee, Ji." Mina called knowing Jihee out of her staring competition with the Picture on screen. Jihee looked at Mina confused. "Hospital?" She said in a reasonably soft tone while jabbing her thumb in the direction of the front doors.

"Yes!" Jihee all but shouted grabbing her coat from her lap and shrugged it on while following closely behind Mina. "Let’s do it." she finished more to herself than anyone else.

The hospital itself looked child friendly, happy and bright like everything went well and there was always hope of walking out better than you went in. "Go straight in, I'm gonna go get us both coffee." Mina told her placing a hand on her shoulder and pushed Jihee gently in the direction of the ward her sister was on. The hospital corridor is stuffy and the air has an undertone of bleach. The walls are magnolia and are scraped in places from the hundreds of trolleys that have bumped into them. The pictures on the walls are cheap benign prints of uplifting scenes and above the double doors are large blue plastic signs with the areas of the hospital that lie ahead. The air had a perfumed scent and the seats were plush. Every surface was dustless. The nurses were unhurried and they moved with a serene purposefulness from room to room on their rounds. There were vases of flowers and beautiful framed pieces of art on the walls. In the corridor was a water dispenser and in most rooms could be heard the noise of a television. The hallway has as much personality as the rest of the hospital. The floor is slate grey and the walls dove. Above the ceiling is made from those polystyrene squares laid on a grid-like frame. The light is too bright for Jihee's eyes after the darkening gloom outside. There are commercial prints on the wall, tasteful in the dull kind of way. "This place certainly isn't run by risk-takers and I guess I should find comfort in that." Jihee Mumbled to herself wondering down the familiar hallway. Above every door she passed was a large plastic sign, dark with white lettering- no fancy fonts, just bold and all-caps. It's so new and spotless Jihee felt like the whole building must have just gotten beamed here from some place dirt is outlawed.

Jihee pulled out the picture of the so called Dr Park and went on a mission of asking nurses both old and new if they remembered him. Mina joined her shortly after than with no coffee, Jihee assumed she had asked people in the cafe and others on the lower floors if they knew him or knew of him. The only doctor she hadn't spoken too was the head doctor that ran the ward 'Dr Park' had worked on. "Excuse me, did you by any chance work here between 2005 and 2008." Jihee asked the doctor as she help out the picture for the doctor to see.

“Dr Park. ‘Course I remember him.” The doctor answered handing the picture back and picked up a pile of files. “Most of these residents come in cocky, thinking they know everything. Park wasn’t like that.” She answered the question looking at the pair quickly then back at the files in hand. “You know his brothers got murdered in a shooting or robbery.”

“No, we didn’t.” Jihee answered softly following the doctor as she moved from her station to patient beds.

“He kept waiting for ‘em to be brought in after the police released the information of two injured civilians. Never came to work after that.”

“That’s why he moved on to scamming CEO’s.” Jihee assumed gaining a small but hesitant shrug from Mina. Mina's furrowed brows screamed confusion.

"So you haven't seen him since?" She asked moving closer to the doctor as she checked the vitals on the machines next to one of the patients beds.

"For detectives, you two don't know very much." The doctor said in a clipped tone as she put down the clipboards and slipped the pen back into her breast pocket.

"No, we know he's supposedly dead." Jihee stated for a matter of fact with raised eyebrows.

"Supposedly? we ID'd him and did the autopsy." The doctor mentioned as if it was common knowledge for both of them. As the doctor tried to leave Jihee raised her hand forcing the doctor back a few steps and her attention was fully on Jihee

"You remember anyone he hung out with, Someone he would've reached out to?"

"Jeon wasn't exactly social, but he did have a roommate."

"Taehyung Kim, Psychologist turned Medical Researcher." Min read from the file she had pulled from the precinct computers to get an ID and last known residence. Pulling into the abandoned warehouse that looked like it wouldn't pass the building society's regulations. The Red brick walls painted with spray paint and multi colored markers boarded up windows and bolted doors it looked like the perfect place for someone to hid from the outside world.

"This is where he lives--a chemical plant?" Mina said in disbelief besides was what standing in front of her.

"Researcher -- Maybe he works from home?" Jihee mussed climbing out of the car and slammed the car door shut.

"Yeah or it’s a meth lab." Mina tried to point out that the two of them could be walking into a deathtrap. Still she walked towards the building closely on Jihee's heels.

"Yeah Just my type." Jihee mussed.

Mina smiled at her Jihee mentioning towards the broken down car behind them. "Oh, a little Zack Rebound? You can make out in that." Mina sassed throwing her hand towards the old blue car sitting being them. Jihee laughed making her way over to the door with her partner in tow.

On the inside, there was no light bar what was let in through the dirty and broken windows. Both Jihee and Mina pulled out their torches as they walked through the place. They looked for any signs of life or anything indicating that someone was living there. "This'll be condos in two years." Jihee pointed out as she quickly waved her torch over the place in front of her to make sure nothing was going to jump out at them. Mina stayed at her side and eyes everything on her opposite side, she was ready if anything caused the simple house call to go sideways.

"Guy needs a new decorator." Mina commented shining her touch around the place spotting some broken windows, floorboards and broken down pieces of machinery.  After they entered a hallway that had natural light they put away the touches and made their way towards the door at the end of the hall labeled Office. On the other side of the door TV noises could be heard like someone had left a TV on or the guy was watching TV.

Jihee reached up to the door and knocked against the old wood. " Taehyung Kim, NYPD." Jihee tired first time and waited a few seconds before trying again this time it was more force-ably  "Mr Kim, open up."