#(when I can do a place at night is when I rly know we’re in tight)

[ancat-dubh]

harvest moon over the marshes + nighttime canal walk, 18 September

[cryinginsanity]

It’s beautiful isn’t it?

Benedict Bridgeton x Fem!Reader

——————————

Use of y/n & y/n/n | she/her | not rly proofread

The 3 times Ben wanted to kiss her and the 1 time he did

One

Ben did not shy away from women. Specifically divulging in women. But something about y/n was unique. From the first day they met.

“Ben brother! Meet Lady Y/n Y/l/n. She likes art too and she’s an excellent writer maybe even better then whistledown” Eloise boasted about the girl she had only met a week prior. Y/n smiled at him. “ she exaggerates writing is just a pastime of mine, I like to think I’m a much better artist, El told me you like to paint as well? “ Ben realized he hadn’t spoke yet when the girls were still staring at him. “Oh yes I do enjoy painting, I’ll have to show you sometime?” “I would rather enjoy that, Mr. Bridgeton” “oh please call me Ben, may I mark your Dance card? I’d like to catch you on the dance floor before the night is over“ this took Eloise by surprise, Ben never dances with anyone. Y/n just lifted her card allowing him to write his name in all caps “I’ll see you later *Ben”* y/n spoke waving as she was pulled away by her friend. Ben wanted to follow her and pull her away, but something in him told him he couldn’t. That she was special, not just a girl for him to ruin for the ton.

Two

El seemed preoccupied with lady Whistledown, seemingly always off somewhere. So when y/n showed up at the door of the Bridgertons dressed in a beautiful sage green gown with a book of poems Benedict opened the door. “Oh! Hello Ben is Ellie here?” She asked him, a little taken aback. His hair was distracting as was his face. He was painly beautiful. “Lady y/n, come in!” “Oh please enough with the formalities call me y/n or y/n/n” “y/n/n” Ben mumbled to himself. If anyone were to ask Ben what possessed him to invite her in knowing his sister wasn’t home he’d say “she looked to beautiful to send home disappointed and alone”. “She upstairs?” Y/n figured “what? Oh no Eloise just left I think, actually I’m not sure but she isn’t here. I’m here alone” “oh” “yes. I’m not entirely sure why I told you to come in Y/n/n” he tested the waters on the new name. Silence followed, she wasn’t really sure what to say. “Uh well I guess I do, I thought maybe we could spend some time together. You know. As friends.” She chuckled a little “ if you wanted to hang out with me Ben all you had to do was ask” “so you will?” His voice going up an octave not hiding his excitement. “I will” she nodded. He grabbed her hand leading her to the garden where he had his easel and a blank canvas. “I know you like to paint as well, would you care to join me? Or you can read your book to me whilst I paint” she smiled at him, her e/c eyes looking longingly at his face as if to study him. “Do you really wanna hear me read a silly poem book” “I think I’d be content if you were speaking nothing but nonsense if it meant I could hear you speak forever y/n/n” she looked away at that, butterflies forming in her stomach and heat rising to her cheeks. “Okay Benedict” she sat on a bench conveniently next to him and began to read. Ben looked down at her, thinking about how domestic this was. He imagined he could do this everyday for the rest of his life.

Three

After their spontaneous time together, they began spending a lot more time together Intentionally. “When are you going to show me your paintings?” She looked up from her book her head in his lap. He looked down at her “hmm is that a line in the book” sitting up closing the book placing it on Ben’s lap. “I’m serious Ben. They’re apart of you, you’re always painting. A lot of times when we’re together. I want to know you” “you do y/n/n” y/n huffed “I want to see the world through the eyes of Benedict bridgerton, your art allows that. I want to know your soul, your art allows that. Will you allow me that pleasure” “do you want to know what I see” she knew she wasn’t getting where she wanted tonight “sure” “I see.. the most beautiful woman to grace the earth, I see a girl the stars beg for at night. No art is as majestic as you. If you looked through my eyes all you would see is you, you take my vision even when we are apart.” “Oh” he was close to her, very close to her. She felt his breath on her nose, his fingers reached for hers. “It’s getting late” he pulled away “yeah, yeah it is” “the moon looks beautiful” she spoke, looking at the sky. “Yeah it does” she saw how Ben didn’t move his gaze from her, she didn’t mention it though she let him stare at her. She’d probably let him stare at her forever if it meant they were together. “I’ll take you home”.

Four

As the season progressed Benedict would wait until the late of the night to go over to y/ns home. Throw pebbles at her window, and watch her smile before she snuck out in a sleeping gown. If her mother knew she was out in the night like this she would be enraged. Hell Benedict was enraged, if someone saw them instead of simple scandal they would see her in all her glory. As she came out the back door, his breath was caught. This was a feeling known all to well for Ben, he felt it everytime he saw her. She was absolutely breathtaking. It seemed as thought she granted him permission to breath again when she grabbed his hand. Another scandal, he wondered how many they might commit tonight. They walked in comfortable silence. Y/n gazed up at the moon stopping almost immediately. “Y/n/n?” “Ben look! There’s a full moon tonight. Is it not just beautiful” “ Oh yes quite beautiful.” In truth he hadn’t looked at the sky, not once to busy looking at her. She knew, taking her free hand bringing it to Bens face to guide him to look. “It is beautiful y/n/n” “ When I am to be wed-“ he sharply turned his head to her “ When I am to wed Ben I wish you gift me a painting of the night sky, perhaps you can add us, no one would have to know.” He saddened at the thought of her marrying another though he knew it was to come. Her mother was urging her and introducing her to far to many men than Ben would like. ”I wish to show you something.” “Oh okay” she laughed as he begin to pull her quicker.

Benedict allowed her to sit in his drawing chair, watching her as she brushed her fingertips lightly against the detailed painting of her. She was in awe, she never thought she could look so beautiful. Benedict was smiling at her, attempting to commit every part of her to memory as if she hadn’t taken up the pages in sketch book. Y/n looked up at him, her smile faltering into an express he couldn’t quite make out. She tried to speak, instead opting to sigh. “Y/n/n?” He said pushing a fallen curl out of her face. “Hmm” she mumbled meeting his eyes again with a small smile. “There’s something on your mind dear?“ He takes her hands into his, carefully caressing his thumbs against her skin as though she may break. “You can tell me anything.” He assured, though she disagreed, she feared this confession would be far too *real* for Benedict to hear. “I can’t.” She spoke looking towards the painting again.” “I promise” he said, interlocking their pinkies, laughing lightly. “Tell me y/n/n? Please” she tried to find ways she could tell him no, ways she could come up with a small lie and leave, but when he was looking at her, like she was the only thing that mattered she broke. “I love you Ben” almost immediately Benedict steps backwards dropping her hands frowning. “No you don’t.” She steps after him. Slightly stumbling off the tall stool, even in his moments of weakness Benedict reached out to steady her before immediately pulling away. “I don’t appreciate you telling me how I feel” he looked insulted, like she was playing a silly game with his emotions for sport. “You don’t love me! You are simply confused Y/n” “Y/n” she spoke softly, more to herself then to the bridgerton, he hadn’t called her that since the day they met. “Y/n/n, Ben call me Y/n/n” He shook his head feverishly, tears welling in his eyes, it broke her. Benedict had not ever known love that when she confessed he was crying? The man she loved. Truly. Was crying at her hand. “Ben” she reached for his hand, he wish he could have pulled away, instead he let her grasp it. “Tell me you don’t feel the same, tell me and I will leave, we will ignore this, we will continue to be just friends.” He finally looked into her eyes “I cannot. But you are wrong. You do not, no you cannot love me. Y/n you are much to good for me.. please say you do not love me.” “Y/n/n.” She ignored everything else, “Ben please call me y/n/n” “My y/n/n please” he begged. She reached her hand to his face, cupping his cheek. Almost immediately he leaned into her. She used her free hand to guide his to her waist, a pleading look still sat in his eye. He was quite taller than her, she stood on her tip toes before he immediately ducked down. Her lips dangerously close to his, he turned his head. As if on que she immediately turned it back, “I love you with everything I have in me Benedict Bridgeton, you are the sun to my moon, I do not wish to live without you. I cannot live without you. I do not wish to find good, I want you. I could not love anyone else. You make me whole, you live in my mind like no other, my thoughts are enamored with you and only you, please ben I do truly love you, let me love you.” He had been inching his face closer towards her as she spoke so that her last words could be felt against his lips. He cracked, every promise to not ruin her had vanished. He kissed her like his dying breath depended on it. His hands pulled her closer at the waist and hers rested on his face. She pulled away first, needing to catch her breath, he kissed down to her neck, biting behind her ear. “Say it again” he whispered “I love you Benedict bridgerton” “god I could listen to say that forever” he grabbed her hand, “do you trust me” “you tell me what you think” He smiled at her, leading her out the room he used for painting. Most of the lights were out, no one in the halls, it was quite late. She didn’t ask where they were going, she assumed his room. She was right.

“You’re beautiful” Benedict said as he turned to her and saw how the moonlight peeked through the window onto her. He thought the moon must be in love with her too, like it rises every night in hopes of touching her skin. “So are you” Y/n/n said with a small laugh. “No Y/n/n; my y/n/n you are truly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. It is the greatest honor to be in your presence” Ben watched her, all of her, the slight upturn of her lips. He ran his hand from her check down her neck to her arm then hand. “Ben” he leaned down to kiss her shoulder, up her neck, finding it easy to learn all of her spots. He moved to sit on the bed allowing her to slot between his legs. “Y/n/n” “Ben?” “Will you marry me?” “What?” “I want to marry you y/n/n. I’ve wanted to marry you since the first day we met” “Yes of course Ben” Immediately kissing him as they fell back onto the bed.

[lifesver]

swiping renee’s idea to talk about nosy/dusk aliases…

dallas is his normal go-to, and the one that he started off with. he just thought the name sounded cool, and the persona itself is closest to who leland already is. i.e., a gentle-hearted small town boy, a little silly, handsome and charming, seems like he’s falling for you like a puppy dog. dresses understated, smiles at you warmly and asks you to dance. his victim profile here can be anyone, just because he’s very social, will get buddy-buddy and chameleon with rowdier boys, will be a nice polite gentleman with the girls. dallas works well in most places and most situations, very versatile. he’s very much disarming, easy to trust. seems like someone fun to party with, also seems like a boy who would drive you home at the end of the night and not expect anything. his m.o. is usually getting you into his car first and then knocking you out. carries hunting knives and pistols, which when he started out were easier to kill with because he could separate a little from using like,, his own hands (like he once had to do in the basement cells w the other victims lol lmao). i think he has a couple variations of this type of fake identity, like sometimes he leans more college bro sometimes he leans more country boy, just kind of depends.

laurel is both a more experimental alias as well as a more specialized one. he uses laurel on men the most, for people who want a quick hookup mostly. it’s pretty risky in like….. rural 70s texas esp but i think he gets good at getting the right person’s attention and making them come to him rather than the other way around. he plays up something a bit more soft, batting his prettyboy lashes at u w a smile across the bar and then looking away u know how it is. laurel is v much an exploration of sexuality, a lot more brazenly flirtatious (which like. this type of seduction was pretty out of his wheelhouse until he practiced). laurel brings victims to seedy motel rooms or pulls them into alleys. sometimes to slit their throat in a private place, sometimes to walk them straight into johnny. also like to think him and maria using rosa are a fun flirty little double threat that will again, do this and lure people into back rooms or whatever together. typically uses a butterfly knife, or just turns the tables on someone w sheer strength when they underestimate him. probably the most nerve-wracking one to use to start with, but after a while he gets the whole process down to a science. anyway it’s giving ‘making out while spattered in blood from the guy i just killed’

jude is sort of experimental and sort of a way of letting out his Worse side and expending his anger. the most feral dog energy tbh. typically the default for when maria lures someone out to him and johnny to play w as well because he’s going for enforcer/guard dog. in a lot of ways bc he mirrors johnny in those moments, when they work together messing someone up. jude is a more tough guy sadistic side that again, strongly mirrors johnny in almost every way, lurks around like his shadow tbh. also gets pretty brutal, his crime scenes are a mess. he’ll use basically whatever to put someone down but sometimes it rly just is his bare hands. smile. the name jude was lowkey chosen for his saint jude necklace, complicated feelings w religion now that we’re doing murder etc etc. also is mostly used dealing w tougher guys who he’ll legit pick fights with so we can Take It Outside (to ur death) and like again this type of persona was a bit out of his wheelhouse until he just sort of used it as a physical outlet for his anger.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

Dream do you watch TTRPG’s at all? Specifically I’m thinking of a court of fey and flowers on dimension 20 because the regency vibes are just MWAH and I was wondering if you were at all familiar with it.

Either way, getting on with it and taking notes as I read as usual:

Awww Lottie!! Love her and I love that we’re activity the entire support system for this. Also Lottie promising to always be with her??? I love her your honor

Wait is Lottie either going to tell Benedict off or does she know what the secret is????

“I’m quite familiar with that concept” BEN NO omggg that’s so sad 😭

Plot twist teddy has a crush on Ben now not Lottie lmao /j

OH I bet lady Margery was helping him get that rose middlemist or something??? That’s why they’re in the greenhouse???? Right???? Please dream let that be the reason

Fuck clover did u rly have to do him dirty like that??? I know ur insecure but damn lmao

Also yayyy I’m glad I was right!! And that’s so sweet of him to prepare all this for her

Lmao I feel like the house staff would’ve known that Ben was preparing a surprise for clover or at least seen the packages of plants and gardening supplies being delivered so like why they gotta be spreading rumors and saying stuff like that lmao.

Ur telling me the gardener kept this 100% secret… sure jan /j

Also I bet she’s going to say ily but I lowkey kind of want Ben to not reply right away because what she said was so hurtful. Like damn clover every time ur a little bit stressed you say the meanest shit /hj

Girl he literally sketched the flower for you when you fainted. He had to look that shit up in a book so he knew what to draw and ur saying he doesn’t remember ur favorite flower??? Have you forgotten how down bad he is for you??? Facepalming all over the place lol

Fuck ben that’s so much work and he got this plan started before they were even married or if he knew she liked him back

This is like the greatest gesture of love of all time. And like even him continuing it by having it so that he can have the other greenhouse set up so that she never has to be without her garden even though she’s not even using it right now and I just-

Thank god she finally got her head out of her ass lmao. Finally clover, it’s a long time coming

Lmao thinking of flowers even when they’re about to fuck like yeah that tracks. I wonder if Ben is offended tho lol

Oh I forgot! This is in the rain! (Sort of. They’re wet is my point). It was a dark and stormy night… v romantic haha

Awww well I’m glad they’re happy at least. I hope her parents don’t ruin it…. (To which I’m sure Dream’s reply will be ‘😏😈’)

Awww sweet chapter; good job gang it all worked out.

CMA hi my love! 🥰

I don't watch them actually but they look so much fun😁 I'd love to get into it sometime ❤️

Lottie immediately turned overprotective just like Anthony 🥰 They both care about her a lot ❤️

Oh Lottie had no idea what the secret was ❤️ She just went there to tell Benedict off and also forgive him loll😂

Omg 😁 Oh Teddy just looks up to Benedict so much, he's his role model ❤️

Asdfghjkl an air raid siren started going off in Clover's head the moment she heard Benedict and Margery were alone in that greenhouse at night 😈 While she wasn't homeeee😈

I feel like people knew for sure, but they were told to not tell anyone, especially Clover 😁

I don't think Clover realizes just how in love with him he is 😂 THE DRAWING YES! 😁

Fuck ben that’s so much work and he got this plan started before they were even married or if he knew she liked him back THIS! ❤️

Exactly, he started on that after they talked at that flower exhibition, while she was still being snarky with him whenever they had a conversation 😂 Like, they weren't even courting! ❤️

Loll I think Benedict found that amusing 😂 Her thinking of flowers even then 😁

I love rain scenes so much! ❤️

Awww well I’m glad they’re happy at least. I hope her parents don’t ruin it…. (To which I’m sure Dream’s reply will be ‘😏😈’)

😏😈

Thank you so so much for this my love! 🥰

[pandirpus]

List the first lines of your last twenty stories. See if you find any patterns.

TOOK ME ALMOST 4 YEARS BUT WE’RE HERE! :D

If you’re a writer and you wanna do this, YOU ARE TAGGED. ♥

I won’t link the fics, since some are of the rather Problematic variety, but you can find them on my Ao3~

Here’s last time.

*

1. For as long as Katsuki remembers, Deku has been sleeping over at his place almost every week.

2. “Please”, Deku gasps, and Bakugou’s hand tightens around Deku’s throat.

3. It takes a few weeks before Bakugou finally gets tired of driving back to his apartment in the morning and officially moves in with them.

4. The first time that Bakugou finds himself alone with Deku and his girlfriend is a few months after their graduation.

5. They’re at it again.  

6. The door falls shut behind him with a soft click.

7. “What the hell is it with you and Deku?”

8. “Okay, Ciro, I’m curious. Do you know why you're here tonight?”

9. On his last night in Albuquerque, lying in his own cozy bed again that was much kinder to his back than the prison cot, Lalo has some time to reminiscence – and to finally jerk off in peace.

10. There's a weight on his lungs, tightening around his chest and pressing down on his ribs, and it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

11. "And where do you think you're going, Ignacio?"

12. "Come here, boy. Let me show you something."

13. Lalo always kisses Nacho’s scars, tenderly, appreciatively, in the lazy evening hours when Nacho is lying on the bed beneath him, resting his head on the pillow with one hand behind his head.

14. "He’s telling the truth."

15. Lalo is ten when he first finds himself staring at another man's lips.

16. Dipper’s heart is beating so fast, he feels he is going to throw up any second while his brain is still reeling from the attempt to process what is happening.

17. TG: ok time 2 fess up  TG: do you rly have a thing for puppets??

18. He starts with creatures.

19. Getting hard at inopportune times was an inevitable part of puberty, Ford assumed.

20. Ford is straddling him, his smile a bit wide in a way that’s cute, his still rounder, softer features flushed.

*

Patterns: Just like last time, I try to start fics with dialogue, and if they don’t, they still start in medias res in a hopefully immediately engaging way. Some do exposition in a bit more awkward fashion, but that’s okay, since I wrote a bunch of these fics solely on horny brain. It’s fun to write horny nonsense - definitely the fastest way to write.

I’m again very pleased with short sentences that set a tone, a theme, some intrigue - my favorite this time is “He starts with creatures.” Maybe that’s bias speaking because I’m really proud of that whole fic. I poured a lot of time and effort into tackling this story and I love how it came out.

Still, gotta try that more.

[lovelovex]

no x posts no announcements, kind rude p don’t you think cutting such a big amount of people who CARE about you guys is too much??? it is hard to keep up with all your updates via fucking RUMORS of all things for fucks sake

oh we’re right off w the accusations ok ok ok sometimes i hate being the spokesperson, P the diplomat, but here we go

i’m gonna use this post for the whole rant bc it’s all p much the same in my inbox:

if ‘rumors’ have been your only source of information for the past i dont rly rmbr how many months honey that’s intentional

sometime in july, before i made that post ab the healing process, we sat down and went thru every email subscribed to our mailing list, every account in every gc we used to have, decided fuck it and created all the new ones, rmbr when we had like 500+ members in one of them? well that’s not happening ever again, outsiders aren’t allowed anymore

did it hurt your feelings being left out?

well it hurt my feelings to find out how many of you were actually involved in the case behind my back, how many of you knew exactly what was happening in those two years and stayed silent or worse – chose to side w the person who wanted to take everything he could away from me

not just me, my friends, my family, the ppl i love more than anything else in this world, have suffered enormously bc of His actions and bc of Your support of those actions

i know exactly who you all are, i have a list of names i dont want to hear ever again in my life

the damage you’ve done is irreparable, and it’s beyond my imagination how any of you still feel entitled to anything, did you rly think i’d never find out? i thought it was common knowledge i always find out one way or another

we’re all grown up ppl, and it’s not my place to tell you who you can or cannot talk to, you’ve made your choices and we’ve made ours, and if you ended up on the outside of the circle, welcome to consequences 101, your actions actually do have an impact, what a concept

the case played a big part in the whole thing, but we’re way past that now, and the thing is – the real reason behind ‘cutting out such a big amount of ppl’ is we’re tired, the better part of our lives was dedicated solely to creating a safe space, and we did, only to realize we’re our own safe space, it’s the ppl, so the shows are still happening, the karaoke nights and the acoustic sessions, i say my thank yous from the stage and in emotional voice msgs at 3am bc my god do i love our space, my little sanity oasis, that part hasn’t and will never change

what changed is that we don’t have to subject ourselves to scrutiny, to any form of judgement anymore rly, what they dont know they can’t ruin i rmbr a post like this somewhere on this blog, i dont have to read your thoughts on every single detail of every single move we make, i only hear opinions from those ppl i actually want to listen to, and no, i dont only surround myself w yes men now, if i do smth wrong i still get called out, rightfully so

what i’m mostly tired of is those half-assed friendships, of ppl who only wanted me smiling and shiny, who would disappear the second things got a bit depressing, i dont know who hurt you, but it wasn’t me, or maybe it was, in that case that’s on you if you never had the guts to open your mouth and actually say smth

yk i’ve had to say so many goodbyes in the last two years, i’ll say some more if it comes to this, i’m getting better at letting ppl come and go, but i could never tolerate indifference or betrayal, and i’ve had enough of both of these things

you can still go off in my inbox, let it all out, i can’t rly stop you, just know it doesn’t make any difference to me

[harrylights]

🌹🍄🌻🍒

🌹 what do you look for in others when establishing a connection? (platonically and/or romantically) shared sense of humour, empathy and compassion, the ability to be understanding of like, minor flaws ig? like if i have to cancel w someone due to a pain flare up and they’re not chill w it that’s a huge red flag for me, same political beliefs (or at least very very left leaning too) and shared interests that are important to me like music or art or smth like that hehe <3

🍄 if you had to live the rest of your life as either a gnome, a fairy, or another woodland creature which would you choose and where would you live? fairy!!!! hands down. but like…. the kind that has a confusing gender and might be evil but is rly sweet so ur not sure (until it’s too late) and i would 100% live in a mushroom house that’s not even up for debate

🌻 what sort of setting would have you most likely to get lost in the beauty of things? smth like a sunrise on salt spring island (a v lush and naturey place) or somewhere u can see just sooooo many stars at night, or even like a farmers market where ppl are just sweet n kind n doing their own thing but also recognizing that we’re part of a community. can also feel this at some concerts too

🍒 how do you know when you like/have a crush on someone? oof it creeps up slowly at first but then hits me like a ton of bricks. usually due to either having like, an intense connection and talking all the time or sharing sooo many things in common where i’m like 🥲 wtf. having a rly smooth dynamic w lots of back and forth and banter. a sense of ease when talking to them etc. they’ll also become included in my before bed fake scenarios so that’s usually a clear giveaway to me lmao

emoji asks

[autistic-fandom-trash]

tma entities as icon for hire songs

i added bits of the lyrics bc idk if anyone other than me is in both of these fandoms lmao. also im not rly happy with all of these since i couldnt find an accurate one for everything

The Buried - Hollow

I don't wanna break down, but I'm feeling low Let me sink to the bottom Air in my lungs keeping me afloat Inside I'm still hollow I don't wanna break down So where do I go? My screams sink to the bottom Top of my lungs, just an echo Inside I'm still hollow

The Corruption - Enemies

On Wednesdays, we wear hazmat suits And walk the city streets Smile at everyone we meet We're delightful when we wanna be Soon, you'll hear us knocking on your door We could always use one more We came here to cheer you up Do you wanna play with us? (Do you wanna play with us?)

The Dark - All I See Is Darkness

And now you're looking like the villain But I didn't see it coming Truth is blinding and I'm finding I can't see a thing Keep me in the dark, keep me in the dark (Heartless) Searching every night, tryna find the light (Starless) Looking in your eyes, all I see is ice (Arctic) All I, all I see is darkness

The Desolation - Up In Flames

I'll probably end up in flames Before the end of the night Watch me burn in the fire Watch me bid you good-bye Your words, they fall off the page Like they fall on deaf ears You know that it's over Nothing left for you here (Nothing left for you here)

The End - Only Be a Story

'Cause when I go I already know My life will only be a story All that I've been All that I've built All fades away inside a moment And the pain won't matter The power won't matter The shame burns with the glory When I'm gone My life will only bе a story

The Eye - Watch Me

All eyes on you, we're watching you It's too bad you're too stuck to move Too bad you wouldn't know what to do If the right thing walked right up to you It's none steps forward, none steps back No harm, no foul, you play like that? Your game sucks, you need a new one Your game sucks, make a new one up Up the ante, up the drive Slow down - is this how you feel inside? Torn in the middle like you can't decide Can't step up to save your life I'm calling it, you're full of shhh More scared to make noise than you care to admit

The Flesh - Under The Knife

Devil drew you in, you didn’t let it show Didn’t want the others to ever have to know That you were getting hooked on up up up And all you had to do was cut cut cut You carved a special place for your pain So it came back to hurt you every night You closed your eyes and wished it all away Until you disappeared under the knife

The Hunt - Off With Her Head

How long until it starts to do me in? I can't give out what I'm not breathing in I know, they'll come with what I'm owed, guilty as charged My enemies belittle me reminding me the penalty of all my deeds, despite my pleas, is death Don't let go, cause I don't wanna be this, I don't wanna be this Death is mine, I know Don't let go, don't let go

The Lonely - The Grey

I am standing on the edge of returning or just running away I am letting myself look the other way And the hardest part in all of this is I don't think I know my way back home Is it worth the journey, or do I let my heart settle here? How cold have I become? I didn't want to Lose you by what I'd done Caught in the grey

The Slaughter - Ready For Combat

You can try to minimize me, but here's the truth I've been saving all my savage up just for you I'm ready for combat, ready for rage Haven't you heard? Luck favors the crazy I'll make you fight back, yeah, how you like that? And just like that, I got you Rеady for combat, give me a war I tick like a timеbomb, ready to roar Let me ignite that, yeah, how you like that? And just like that, I got you Ready for combat

The Spiral - Brittle

If I get defensive Don't say I'm oversensitive Maybe I have a tendency to snap on people telling me "You fit inside this box we built, we know you better than yourself" They're lying, they're lying, they're lying I'm just a statistic Just another tragic misfit Ship that cliché to the clinic Document my disposition Then they put me in a box Slap a label on the top Tape me up and ship me off Now I'm someone else's problem

The Stranger - Theatre

My life is a musical I know how to put on a pretty pathetic show I hide backstage Keep the curtains closed 'Cause I'm scared, I'm scared I'm getting pretty good at feeding them the lines they like But I don't recognize the girl that I face each night I can compromise till I'm convinced It's right

The Vast - i literally could not find anything remotely fitting for this one. suggestions are much appreciated

The Web - Venom

Don't meet their eyes, it's hypnotic Make you forget that it's toxic Caught up in all the chaotic Sold you a lie and you bought it Before you know it, you're nauseous Hands down your throat 'til you vomit Collapse from all the exhaustion And now they got what they wanted Misery, misery is the venom in my brain Killin' me, killin' me, but I don't feel the pain Running from something that I can't really explain Misery, misery is the venom in our veins

[scarlethallow160]

why tf do one bedroom apartments have to be so expensive (this is a huge vent dump pls avert your gazes)

my roommate keeps inviting people to our apartment without fucking telling me (or waiting til the LAST possible second to do so) even tho i’ve said time and time again i hate when people do that especially cuz he has a bad habit of doing that when we have plans where he just invites other people (esp people i barely know or dont know at all) without telling me or anyone else that was already involved. its even more aggravating cuz when this is brought up he acts like he makes sure to avoid this and he fucking doesnt like when i lived with an old friend and an ex-friend, him and our other friend invited someone to our place (so they invited a stranger to a place they did not live at) and none of them fucking told me until i was literally about to walk inside after work and like am i crazy or do people not see how rude that is?? like dawg thats my fucking home U GOTTA TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE THAT DO NOT LIVE THERE ARE GOING TO BE THERE

and if ur going to force me to interact with strangers have the decency to introduce us???? once we went to meet with some friends (not rly but i’d met them before) and ig one of their sisters was there and they just. didnt introduce us to each other? and we were on opposite ends of the table so its not like we could really interact either? and they did this when we got invited to another friends bday thing where someone i’d never been introduced to was there and they didnt fuckin introduce us and i was anxious cuz i was sitting across from her and finally had to be like “oh hi are u x? i’m so-and-so” like jesus christ is this not common sense for people? why are yall okay with forcing complete strangers to hangout

and with work today i was so overstimulated and got more and more aggravated by this cuz like i dont want to have to move every year and one bedrooms are so expensive rn but im so fucking tired of going thru this. not to mention we dont have a ceiling fan in our living room so he turns down the ac rly low when people are over so it jacks up our ac bill so it makes me even More anxious cuz him inviting people over = social anxiety for me and general anxiousness knowing our bill is going to be higher

i was so aggravated by this i ended up skipping out on plans we had today cuz my roommate also talks about himself. a lot. and we were out with friends like yesterday night or smthing and he kept going on and on about some guys he’s talking to on a dating app and i knew that would just make me angrier and idk it kinda sucked that one of my other friends involved thought i felt i was rly close with didnt seem to gaf either that i abruptly dropped out and theres obviously something wrong with me mental health-wise cuz i have this really bizarre self-sabotaging tendency when my mood severely dips where i convince myself no one cares or everyone hates me and think of this dark scenarios and just kind of start spiraling

and with my anger issues i go thru this weird loop of understanding a lot of my emotional/temperamental and communication issues stems from my fucked up family cuz my mom is super vain/self-absorbed and never thinks she can be wrong and basically my sisters are the same so i keep things bottled up and end up getting REALLY angry with no healthy outlet until i reach a breaking point and im just not great with communicating how i rly feel either cuz talking to my family was like talking to a brick wall and my older sister would literally cut me off constantly telling me to shut up so i rarely communicate things beyond like....joking around and stuff so i tend to vent/trauma dump into the void on social media lmfao which is obviously not healthy at all either but like......yeah it also sucks when i start spiraling and thinking back on this shit that i’ll never get closure from the longterm issues i developed from my family cuz now they want to act like we’re this tight-knit super close family that always got along and even if i were to ever bring this shit up they’d just point fingers or deny doing anything wrong.

 idk like its nice having a group of friends i can hangout with and stuff irl but also i feel like i cant ever really talk to them about anything like this that im going thru cuz i also feel super uncomfortable thinking i might be making things about myself (and honestly i do hate when people trauma-dump on me completely out of nowhere so i also want to avoid doing that)

also whats stopping me about addressing these issues with my roommate is cuz he has a tendency to victimize himself and thinking hes just being attacked? like he’s also super self-deprecating All the time which is also extremely exhausting to deal with constantly and it pisses me off that with our other friend/my old roommate, my current roommate kisses his ass and listened to him when he told him these issues of him being too self-deprecating etc. but ik if anyone else did he would just feel sorry for himself

im tired of this

[annyeongffs]

#𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧: 𝘁𝗯𝘇 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝘀.

𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁. 𝗇𝗈 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗌!

𝘅𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗎𝗍. 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌, 𝖽𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝖻𝗓.

𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• sangyeon isn’t a super hard dom, but he very much wants to be the one in control. whether it’s of you, your reactions, your orgasm, etc... mans just wants to feel in charge. i don’t see him being strict or anything but he’s definitely dominant. will probably prefer to be on top but can sometimes be a power bottom; also is likely into some choking (giving), size kink (have you SEEN his hands?!), and maybe spanking,, nothing too harsh. would be an absolute king at aftercare.

𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒃:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• some see jacob as a switch or sub leaning, but when i tell you he radiates dom energy... he rADIATES. he may look sweet and act cuddly on camera, but something tells me that it’s a whole other story in bed. he probably likes to praise his partners, which makes me think he would also have a slight kink for seeing them in lingerie; not to mention his voice oh my god jacob would be so vocal, i 100% support the jacob bae dirty talk agenda!!! not afraid to tell you what he’s gonna do to you or how he wants you to behave. why can i see him as a soft brat tamer help me- also another aftercare king.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• younghoon is soft and cute most of the time, but as a dom i rly see him wanting to act a little rougher. nothing bad or complicated though, no chains or leather... younghoonie would probably prefer more vanilla in bed except that he also wants to be in control. he wants to see you fall apart (probably has a receiving praise kink so don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel!) and he wants to make every inch of you feel amazing. i don’t see him being super kinky but he’s not opposed to a blindfold every now and then.

𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒂𝒆:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• PHEW HOLD ON FOR THIS ONE YALL - hyunjae is the epitome of a hard dom. wants your hands above your head, body against the bed, gonna make you beg. i would literally bet money that this mans is into overstim (giving) like when giving oral he won’t stop until you safeword him. seriously into foreplay and edging (he is SUCH A TEASE) and i could also see him having a sir/master/daddy kink... hyunjae is in control and if you don’t believe it, you better be ready for him to fuck the brat right out of you.

𝑱𝒖𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• i considered putting him as a soft dom bc of his sweet personality, but then i watched the breaking dawn mv and was like hmm, nope. mans is a total dom- no whips, no ropes, but when he’s in the bedroom there’s no playing around. he has no patience for brats and will leave you hanging until you submit; juyeon probably really enjoys receiving oral. also he seems like the kind to have a bit of a strength kink, i.e screwing you up against the wall just to prove he can. long story short juyeon will fuck you four ways into tomorrow... but only if you behave.

𝑲𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• so even though most of tumblr is in agreement that kev is a massive switch / sub leaning,, we’re gonna talk abt when he doms. kevin def is the type to be into bondage- wants to see you all pretty and tied up for him like a little present. also seems like he’d be really into dirty talk, especially degradation... you’re his slut when he’s domming, no questions asked. i could also see him being into edging, but then again he could be into overstim too. mans just looks kinky af; probably hella experimentalist, willing to try anything once. expect absolute filth from him when he’s on top.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒆:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• new may not be the hardest dom to exist, but he’s certainly a good one. i get massive brat tamer energy from him- you wanna talk back? fine, have fun getting yourself off. you wanna play? he’s almost guaranteed to win. he won’t hesitate to show you your place... which, speaking of, is probably bent over his knee. wouldn’t be super into hurting you but would probably love to spank you as a punishment for being bratty; could be down for you calling him a title of some sort. won’t choke you too hard but will definitely leave you breathless. also a pro at aftercare, prepare to be swaddled in cuddles when he’s done with you!!

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒎𝒊𝒏:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• his vibes were lowkey hard to place... i settled with soft dom bc i feel like no matter how heated the moment is, q’s first instinct is to take care of you. yes, he may be very into dirty talk, and sure, he doesn’t mind some light bondage (silk ties anyone?) but the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. i can totally see him having a thing for body worship (giving) so expect to feel beautiful around this boy; also i feel like q is the type to want you to be loud, wants to hear how good you’re feeling. basically wants to please you and make you feel amazing, but don’t forget that he’s in charge or he’ll say some very morally questionable things. will turn into the softest boy ever when it comes to aftercare.

𝑯𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• this might be a bit controversial but,, i get major hard dom feels from hak!!! don’t let his silly side fool you because this is a dom who will push you to your limits every. single. time. probably into rougher, more bdsm-style foreplay; i can picture him wanting you gagged and spread out under him, and pls don’t hurt me for this one i feel like this boy could be a biiiig exhibitionist... teasing you around his members, fingering you at dinner to see if you can keep quiet, even fucking your body right up against a window. but if he does anything that hurts you he’ll instantly back off, i don’t see him wanting to cause you actual harm. def expect kinky sex with haknyeon.

𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒘𝒐𝒐:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• brats better beware of this man right here. sunwoo will fuck you up so good you won’t remember your name; i can totally see him overstimming when giving oral like ughh, what those pretty lips do baby?? and wanting you to sit on his face. another pro at dirty talk since there’s no way a rapper like him stays silent during sex... also gives off slight exhibitionist vibes but doesn’t actually want people to see you in the act . sunwoo is a nasty little tease who loves to toy with you, edging you while making you think you’re in control when you def are not. ALSO i sense some huge corruption kink energy from him!! wants to mark you up and make you his, to be the only one to fuck you like you deserve. (but try to take control and he won’t hesitate to remind you where you belong.)

𝑬𝒓𝒊𝒄:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• tbh i think eric’s a bit too young to be more than a soft dom. while he’s definitely the one controlling the pace and the mood, he probably isn’t experienced enough to know how to command a sub like a true dom. that being said i feel like this boy could be pretty kinky... maybe a bit experimentalist, always curious to find the stuff that makes you both feel the best. could also be into hair pulling (giving) like when his partner is blowing him; however if you pull his hair even a little bit eric will go NUTS over it. i don’t see him wanting to be called anything like “daddy”, but when he’s in bed you both still know who’s in charge. and as long as you’re well-behaved for him, he’ll make sure you’re fucked out at the end of the night.

-

[meltwonu]

wonwoo ✨ u n s o l v e d✨

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x female reader

notes; fratboy!wonwoo, mostly crack, buzzfeed unsolved jokes, a little bit of paranormal stuff but nothing scary??, fucking in an abandoned building?, i wrote this while i was shad0wb@nn3d and thinkin i was abt to have to delete my blog so enjoy this comedic relief i provided myself, yes based on the gose ep, also u can consider this as taking place a little after the last chapter of caffeine!! This was just for fun, dont inbox me saying this was weird i know its weird ☠️🤣

*REPOSTED because tumb1r fl@gged the original 😭 much like the previous drabble, nothing about this has rly changed so I don’t know what to do lol the kicker is the note is like ‘wrote this while I was shad0wb@nned!’ LMAO

You shoot Wonwoo an incredulous look when he sneaks through the small gap in the metal gates, foot tapping nervously as you stare at him from the other side.

“Wonwoo… I don’t know about this… Can’t we do something else...” You mumble. He rolls his eyes at you jokingly, momentarily adjusting his glasses before he leans over to hold the gap open for you to crawl through. “C’mon, you promised. And I ate you out for an hour and a half while we watched dumb rom-coms.” He deadpans.

That was true.

“Yeah but--but why couldn’t you have asked someone else to come with you?” Whining, you ease through the metal gates, figuring it’d be safer with Wonwoo than waiting outside alone. 

Wonwoo grins at you, helping you dust off your skirt before he starts heading for the abandoned building.

“That’s because everyone else was too scared to come back after I told them I saw a ghost.”

“Then why are we here? Scratch that, why am I here?” You complain.

Wonwoo shoots you a pointed stare as he stops in his tracks.

“Because I want to make sure I really saw a ghost. And because I trust you to not run off without me.”

“Hey there demons, it’s ya boy.” Wonwoo announces to the empty building. His voice echoes as he steps over the broken glass littering the floor - telling you to watch your step as he reaches for your hand. “Can you not call them demons? What if there’s something here?” You harshly whisper back.

Truth be told, this was absolutely not your ideal date for a Friday night but you had promised the tall and handsome idiot that you’d come with him, even if you were slightly regretting it now. “If there’s something here then we have proof ghosts exist!” He whispers back, turning his flashlight on as he guides you further and further into the two-story building.

Every creak sends you into overdrive as your eyes peer into the darkness and Wonwoo’s flashlight seems to be low on battery; only emitting a soft glow that barely does anything to pacify your fears.

“Maybe we should announce we’re here?” He offers.

“Did you not already do that when we walked in? When you called them demons? What else can you possibly say to make them friendly?”

Wonwoo chuckles; feeling your clammy palm gripping onto his a little tighter when he veers off into one of the many rooms. He inspects the room quietly, eyes flitting over the desk and filing cabinets lining the walls. “I mean, maybe we should do it again?” Wonwoo clears his throat, staring into the darkness before speaking.

“Hello? We’re here for the cult stuff?? We saw the ad on craigslist?” He trails off. The panic floods your senses almost immediately at his stupid question. “Are you fucking mad? Cult stuff? We’re looking for fucking ghosts for fucks sake, Wonwoo!” He can only laugh at your panic, still pointing his flashlight in various directions before he starts opening the filing cabinets.

“Hey, calm down a bit. This building hasn’t been abandoned that long! And nobody’s reported any weird stuff about it except for the one time and it was me. If there’s anything here, it’s probably just the raccoons scurrying around.”

It does little to calm your nerves but you accept it for now; pressing up to Wonwoo’s side as he leads you into a different room. “Okay, but if we see anything we’re leaving, like, immediately. Not buts!” You murmur against his shoulder.

Wonwoo nods, stepping into a room that seemed oddly much cleaner than the rest of the building. He spots a table closer to the center of the room, placing his flashlight down onto it before grabbing a small device from his pants pocket. “I brought this radio thing. We should maybe try it and see if we can get anything?” You tilt your head in confusion, eyes finally adjusting to the darkness as you stare back at him.

“What does it do?”

“Well, it scans a bunch of different radio stations really fast and then if there’s a ghost or demon who wants to talk to us, sometimes it can stitch together coherent words. We just ask it questions.” He explains. You nod slowly, jolting when the radio roars to life in the quiet room.

“Fuck, that’s loud!” You exclaim, hands digging into the material of Wonwoo’s cardigan.

“Is there anyone here? Are there any demons here? We’d like to speak to you.” Wonwoo questions. The sound of static and various jumbled noises are all you can make out; no real words or answers coming through. “Is there a ghost here? What happened to you? Why are you trapped here?” He inquires again. This time, however, something floats through the speaker.

“D--did it say… s-spaghetti?” You bite your lip to hold in your laugh, watching as Wonwoo quickly shuts off the radio instead; somewhat embarrassed. “Okay, this thing doesn’t work, and no, it didn’t say spaghetti!” He argues back. “I don’t know, Wonwoo… I think our ghost is hungry.” You laugh out, suddenly a little less scared at how stupid the radio was.

“Okay, okay, let’s go check upstairs. It’s where I think I saw the ghost.”

He leads you up the stairs and into a smaller room filled with boxes, bookshelves, and a metal locker that seemed to have been pushed onto its side; oddly clean just like the last room you’d been in.

“Okay, how long has this place even been abandoned and why do some of the rooms look so okay and others are so fucked?” You ask. Wonwoo sets his things down on the bookshelf, scanning around the small room. Technically, this was the exact room he’d seen the ghost in. 

But unlike the first time, there was nothing offsetting or in the room at all.

“It was just an office building and it’s only been abandoned for a few years so some of the other rooms are still intact. Lots of uni kids throw ragers here since it’s kinda out of town which is why some of the other rooms are so beat up. Some of the doorknobs are also broken so people try to avoid them in case they get locked in.”

A chill runs up your spine at the thought and your first reaction is to shuffle closer to Wonwoo again, wrapping your arms around his slim waist. “Can we go now? Your little ghost friend isn’t here…”

Wonwoo turns around slowly, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you back. “Are you that scared?” He grins, pressing his front to yours as you notice he’s already slightly hard.

“Wonwoo… you cannot be serious.” He lets out a boisterous laugh that seems to echo for ages, backing you into one of the bookshelves that line the wall.

“Tons of people have fucked here before too, y’know. And it’s only you and me out here… and you’re so cute when you’re clingy.” He teases; hands already touching you over your clothes. “So you’re okay with someone or something seeing us like this then?” You retort, already giving in when Wonwoo’s gentle fingertips dance across your skirt’s hemline.

“Why not? We wouldn’t be the first. We can check it off our bucket lists.”

“That’s… true.”

He’s definitely right.

But, regrettably, it takes a lot more foreplay to get you in the mood this time and Wonwoo can sense how on edge you are even when he’s between your legs, eating you out for what seems like hours. He uses a free hand to keep your panties pushed to the side, tongue running up and down your wet folds before he dips it into your entrance.

Your fingers tangle in his hair when he starts lapping at your clit, sucking the nub into his mouth as you bite your lips to keep in your moans.

“You don’t have to do that, y’know. We’re the only ones out here. You can be as loud as you want.” He mumbles against your skin. You nod tentatively, still a little worried that someone would show up unexpectedly. 

But if there’s anything Wonwoo is good at, it was definitely turning your brain into a pile of mush and making you forget your surroundings.

“Oh, f-fuck, please…”

“Mmh?” Wonwoo pulls away slightly, your grip on his hair loosening as he stares up at you.

“Not to be horny in an abandoned building but can you fuck me already? I… I’d ask you to finger me too but… your hands are probably filthy…” Mumbling, you shyly avoid Wonwoo’s slightly judging eyes.

“Okay, get up.”

It’s a simple but stern command as you shuffle off of the sideways metal locker. He replaces you, sitting on it himself before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. His cock curves against his lower abdomen and you gulp, already imagining the feeling of him deep inside of you.

“You can spit on my cock and sit on it, princess. Since you wanna get fucked so bad.”

The cockiness in his voice has you spiraling as you hurry to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before the two of you peer down into his lap. Gathering as much saliva in your mouth as you can, you open your mouth as it drips down onto Wonwoo’s cock; mixing with the precum the leaks from the head.

When you deem it enough, you reach down, pulling your panties to the side as Wonwoo helps guide you over his cock. You take a deep breath, positioning him at your entrance before you slowly sink down onto him.

The two of you share a moan when you finally sit down all the way; thankful that Wonwoo was a pro at getting you wet even in a potentially haunted building.

“Hmm, you were so hesitant but you’re so tight and wet around me, sweetheart.” You grind against him, resting your head against his shoulder as he massages your back. The entire thing feels a lot more intimate than you anticipate, all things considered.

“Mmh… you’re just good at making me forget we could get possessed in here, I guess…” Wonwoo’s deep laugh reverberates through your body, sending thrums of arousal down your spine as you clench harder around him. Neither of you make an effort to go any faster; grinding and holding each other close.

But Wonwoo’s body tenses after a few minutes, hands sliding down your waist as you rotate your hips. “I wish we could stay here longer, sweetheart, but we should probably hurry a little, hmm? We can take it back to the house if you’d like.” He offers, watching as you lift yourself up a little, only to slam back down into his lap. The head of his cock taps your g-spot and you mewl, nodding feverishly as you let Wonwoo take control.

“Hold onto me, sweetheart.”

Wonwoo slides his hands under your thighs, gripping them tightly before he stands. Your legs automatically wrap around his waist when he backs you into the bookshelf; his flashlight hitting the floor as he starts fucking into you at a ruthless pace.

“This was cute. You’re so cute when you’re clingy, I have to admit.” He teases. This time, his cock slams into your g-spot with each thrust, toes curling behind his back as your eyes slide shut from the immense pleasure.

“God, W-Wonwoo, puh--please…”

“I know, me too… Don’t worry, I’ll get you there, sweetheart.” He whispers gently, angling his hips better as you whimper. The sound of your moans and his harsh breaths seem to be even louder in the quiet space; although you don’t pay it any attention now that you were so close to cumming. You clench around him, feeling his cock throbbing between your walls.

You feel his lips on yours, swallowing all your moans and cries when you cum unexpectedly; Wonwoo following suit as his hips stutter. His nails dig into your thighs a little harder as he grinds into you, his own muffled moans against your lips.

The bliss pours over your body, milking your orgasm for all its worth until the air returns to your lungs. And Wonwoo works you and himself through it, grinding against you until his own orgasm starts to ebb away.

After a few moments, he pulls away slightly, keeping you pressed into the bookshelf as he catches his breath.

“Full offense b-but we’re n-never talking about this to a-anyone…” You mutter, blinking slowly as Wonwoo’s equally tired eyes meet yours. “Why not? They’d probably be jealous.” He laughs breathily, pulling his hips back as his cock slips from inside of you; your panties sliding back into place. 

You groan as the cum starts to pool onto the material and Wonwoo gives it another second before he gently lets you down onto your feet.

“I… can’t say anyone I know would be jealous about what we just did… I also think we need a massive disinfection once we get back. Also, I’m kinda hungry now too...” Your lips press into a firm line, watching as Wonwoo rebuttons his pants. He fishes into his back pocket once he’s done, pulling out a small bag.

“I’ve got some peanuts?”

“Um… no… I can… wait.” A sweet gesture, nonetheless.

Wonwoo picks up his discarded flashlight once the two of you are presentable, reaching a hand out that you take. “We can stop by the 24-hour diner on the way back and then take a shower at the house. You can spend the night, since I’m betting you’re still a ‘lil scared, huh?” You nod shyly, pressing into his side as he slowly leads you out of the room and back into the hallway.

He leads you down the stairs, checking the doors and rooms that line the hallway on the way out.

The two of you reach the main entrance soon enough; a relieved sigh leaving your lips when Wonwoo opens the door for the two of you to exit.

You all but skip to the metal gates, waiting for him to hold it open as you crawl past it.

“Are you disappointed?” Wonwoo glances down at you for a second, humming at your question. “That we didn’t find a ghost?” You nod.

His jaw clenches as he watches you dust off your skirt once more; watching as you turn to face him under the moonlight. He steps through the gap in the metal gates as well, linking your fingertips with his as he guides you back to the car.

In all honesty, the only reason why he had suggested the two of you hurry was because he did see something maybe scamper across the hallway. He figured it was probably just a raccoon though, even if it was too big to be a raccoon. And it looked like it had long hair, and human legs.

Not that he would tell you that.

“Nah. Ghosts probably aren’t real anway.”

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[wishful-soda]

HI IM BACK WITH THE FULL THOUGHTS 😭😭😭

overall an absolutely INCREDIBLE chapter. I cannot even believe you would claim it’s going downhill their soft friendship/not rly platonic vibes are EVERYTHING and their fight, despite the pain, was believable and defnecessary for the plot so i’m OK W THE SUFFERING!!! Incredible i’m on the edge of the seat for the next chapter and for the MAKE UP SEX 😭

- OBSESSED with picking up where we left off i NEEDED to know more so it’s PERFECT

- the way she called a date “gross”…. sure queen we all see through you

- HE MAKES HIS VACATION PLANS AROUND WHERE SHE WILL BE? so much for enemies that idea is REALLY dead and gone now…

- HE MAKES HER FEEL SAFE OH MY GODDDDKEKKESKJSKEJEK. she didn’t even say just that night she said HE CONSISTENTLY DOES IT?!?! i nearly jumped out of my bed when i read this

- Can’t stop thinking charles must be ROLLING HIS EYES in the background from their final conversation before she closes the door like? they’re so obvious about how they feel it’s???? ridic?????

- i just know they were also smiling like idiots that whole convo and it WARMED MY HEART

- she wanted to HUG HIM after not seeing him for just a few days… these people are INSANELY STUPID and i LOVE TO READ IT

- they’re so risky kissing around the corner at max’s place…… i wonder when they’ll be caught….. 👀

- I SNORTED AT “IM AN ACQUIRED TASTE”

- Daniel is SO happy he can officially say they’re friends like he has wanted it deep down way longer than her i just know it 🥹

- BRO THE TATTOO IM GONNA DIE I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HOW THAT TURNS OUT

- he picks up the phone with how’re ya going… the fact he remembers every thing she has ever said to him i’m weak

- THEYRE SO DESPARATE AFTER SO FEW DAYS THEY NEED TO OPEN THEIR EYES MY GOD

- the way i almost fainted at “i want to fuck you in my clothes” 1) reader living the actual dream 2) SO HOT

- “makes you look like mine” i don’t think he can even be denying this to himSELF anymore the boy is in SO deep

- daniel wants to cuddle so badly i wish she didn’t have to get in her own head 🥹 and also ofc what comes after hurts so badly

- I know it’s painful but the image of daniel trying to get dressed to chase after her was SO FUNNY

- ITS SUCH CHARACTER GROWTH THAT HE IS NOT AT ALL MAD AT HER OR BLAMING HER LIKE THAT PROVES THE ENEMY PHASE IS RLY AND TRULY OVER

- “it was finally starting to go right so he needed to fix it” THE FACT HE HAS BEEN ADMITTING OVER AND OVER HE HATED BEING HER ENEMY AND BASICALLY REGRETTED HURTING HER FROM THE START LIKE 😭

- he loathed himself 😭😭😭😭😭 i cry!!! Sad ending but totally worth it for all the dynamics at play here and i cannot WAIT FOR MORE OMGGG

THIS STORY BLOWS MY MIND UPDATE AFTER UPDATE, HOW DO YOU DO IT?????? Gosh it’s SO good ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi my love!! It’s always so good to hear from you!! I read the first chapter of SotD and for some reason I felt like the quality of that chapter compared to the one I just posted was just like unreal. Maybe that’s just me being nostalgic? LMAO. Either way, I appreciate your words, it makes me feel a little better to hear that I’m the only one feeling like I’m on a steady downward trend 😅

Okay it’s rare for me to start a chapter where we left off the last one right? I don’t know why but I suck at that but this time it felt necessary so ta-daaa! 

She’s over the top with her ‘gross’ comments and we’re all starting to see that aren’t we…😏

I’d like to think that he wanted to go to LA for his break but he couldn’t stand the idea of being that far away from her for that long…of course he’d never admit that tho

I LOVE THAT YOU CAUGHT THAT!!! That she didn’t say he ‘made’ her feel safe that night, that he ‘makes’ her feel safe consistently because that was a very conscious choice I made when writing it so I love that you picked up on that!!! 

Charles is like so unimpressed with them. He’s like going along with the ruse because he promised that he would and hes trying to help his friend, but he lowkey is so over their bullshit, like JUST TELL EACH OTHER YOU LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY SO WE CAN ALL MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES.

Did you catch how she wanted to hug him and then he called her out for ‘not really being a hugger’....Sigh, oh Daniel…

They will continue to be risky because they’re idiots, you’re spot on.

Okay the ‘“I’m acquired taste” I felt like that was SO Daniel. Like I could hear him saying it. 

You’re so right!! Daniel has just wanted to be her friend for so long, like probably from day 1. 

HE IS USING EVERY WEAPON HE HAS OK. Pretty soon he’s just going to consist of backwards hats & ‘how’re ya goin’

Listen. I am so glad that you said something because I was writing him chasing after her and was legit GIGGLING at the thought of him trying to hurrying to get dressed and apologize for being such a fucking moron so THANK YOU FOR LAUGHING WITH ME. 

You are SO RIGHT. HE HAS HAD A GLOW UP. He’s thinking about the fact that he made her feel shitty and not about himself!! OUR BOY!! 

We’re slowly building to them actually addressing the beginning of their relationship and I’m trying to decide how the fact that he never actually wanted to be her enemy at all is going to come out. I’ve actually thought about having Max point it out to her, be like uh do you not realize the dude has been in love with you for two years or…?

I’M SO GLAD YOU LOVED IT and I always always look forward to hearing your thoughts so thank you for always reading and always sending me multiple pages on what you thought because it makes all of the frustrating moments of writing 100000% worth it so thank you so much bby. Seriously. ILYSM. 🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Wordcount: 2.9k

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm

Masterlist link here 

AO3 link here 

Author’s Note: And we’re at the final chapter! Thank you so much for going on this wild ride with me, and I’m rly excited to hear what you guys think - so please, drop me an ask, a note, a comment, anything!!! 

It takes time and effort to rebuild a home wrecked by a storm, and reconstruction efforts aren’t necessarily smooth sailing, especially at the start - after all, he’s still the same Miya Atsumu, arrogant and brash and foulmouthed and hyper focused on volleyball, and they both have baggage from years of regret and pain to work through. But he has determination to spare, and she loves him too much for her own good, so they start from the very foundation and work their way up, step by step, one day at a time. 

‘I’ll kill ya if ya ever hurt her again’, Osamu threatens darkly when she and Atsumu break the news to him. 

‘Go find yer own girl and stop being sweet on my wife damn it! ’ Atsumu growls, but the kiss he presses to her forehead when she smacks the back of his head for being mean to his twin is achingly sweet. 

‘Ugh, soppy. Get yer shit outta my house!’ Osamu scrunches his face in mock disgust. 

Both brothers are surprised when she beats Atsumu at flipping Osamu off. 

Atsumu moves back home (he’s not even going to hide how happy the sound of that makes him), and they mark the occasion by slipping his wedding ring back on his finger and eating take-out pizza on the living room floor. 

Her burly brothers turn up on their doorstep with a glint in their eyes and too much teeth in their smiles, determined to drag Atsumu off for a couple of drinks and what she assumes will be a very unpleasant chat. She’d insisted on patting them down to make sure they’re not packing any knives - ‘what do you take us for, little sis’, they’d protested - but she’s not taking any chances, and begs Osamu to join them, ‘please ‘Samu, I don’t want to be a widow right after I decide not to divorce his ass’, and he agrees despite grumbling that he might as well be Atsumu’s glorified babysitter at this rate. 

She’d woken up in bed the next morning to find the space beside her empty, but the living room crammed full of those four silly men. Atsumu and Osamu share a single futon between them, snoring back to back. There are faint bruises on Atsumu’s cheekbone and telltale scrapes on her own brothers’ knuckles, but otherwise they all seem relatively unscathed. 

She bends over, tracing her thumb along the contour of Atsumu’s jaw, and he stirs, eyes half lidded with sleep. 

‘Hey darlin', I’ve come home’, he tells her, warmth flickering in his smile. 

‘Welcome home, 'Tsumu’, she says, tucking the blanket under his chin and he hums in contentment, falling back asleep. 

His nightmares of brown envelopes and harsh neon lights distorting her face slowly fade, and he dreams instead of weeknight dinners and weekend picnics at the park, relishing the quiet domesticity of grocery trips and laundry loads, and delighting in home games with her and Shino cheering him on.

Some piss poor excuse of a gossip hound corners him after a match to ask him about whether he regrets leaving for Milan since his season ended in injury - and he freezes when the reporter slyly adds ‘especially since we all knew it’s a move that required you to leave your wife and daughter behind ‘. His manager is about to intervene when she sneaks up on him to slide an arm around his waist, apologising to the reporter that ‘she’s just so excited to give her husband a congratulatory kiss!’ . 

Sakusa and Meian have to join forces to pull Atsumu back from punching the reporter when he grins shark-like, thinking he’s spotted easy prey and asks her whether she felt abandoned in Japan due to his move - ‘pardon me Miya-san for my unwieldy choice of words’. 

‘Not at all’, she says without missing a beat, and Atsumu wonders if he imagines the flash of a knife in her smile. ‘I’ve always supported my husband in all his endeavours. It was a joint decision that I should stay in Japan to ensure our daughter has some stability in her life.'

‘She’s good’, his manager tells him when the reporter slinks away with his tail between his legs. 

‘Yeah - I don’t deserve her’, he answers with a rueful smile. 

When he tries to thank her that night, she levels him with a look that could knock a grown man (i.e. him) off his feet, but her voice is gentle and her words are soft. 

‘Don’t thank me’, she says. ‘Just be a better husband and father, ok?’ 

He’s not ashamed to admit that he actually cries. 

He learns to tell her he loves her at least once a day. She starts to smile back cheekily and reply ‘of course’. 

The game is in between sets when the skin at the back of his neck crackles with nerves. From the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Osamu sprinting right into the stands. Then his ears pick up on his little girl’s scream - ‘mama’  she cries, her shrill voice ringing above the confusion rippling through the crowd and his legs move of their own accord, leaping over the barrier into the audience, as he snarls and shoves his way to her usual spot. 

He thought he’s had his fill of nightmares to last him a lifetime. He’s evidently wrong. 

She lies crumpled on the ground, head resting on Osamu’s lap. Her lips are pale and her eyes are closed but thank god - thank whichever deity’s listening - her chest still moves with her breath. He’s not quite sure what happens next - he knows he dives to his knees and pulls her towards him but everything else is a blur until her eyes flutter open and she groans. 

‘Darlin’, can ya hear me? Can ya tell me where you are?’ he asks, forcing his voice to remain calm. 

‘Tsumu? Why are you here? Aren’t you in the middle of a game?’ she murmurs, confused. 

‘Fuck the game’, he snaps. ‘Are ya feelin' ok?’ 

‘Something hurts, Tsumu’, she rasps, eyes glazing over. He can feel the chill of ice seep into his spine. 

'Yer fine, yer fine, yer going to be fine' he mutters, over and over and over again, willing her to sit up and tell him she's fine, she's ok, she'll just shake it off - but light starts to shutter out of her eyes and frost creeps up his throat. 

‘I need a medic!’ he shouts, voice cracking on every word. ‘I need a medic, now!’

‘Tsumu’, he hears his brother interrupt urgently. ‘Tsumu, she’s bleedin’. 

He’s never been more grateful for Osamu when his twin turns to yell for an ambulance and yanks Shino away with him. The little girl is kicking and screaming for her mama but he knows she would kill him if he lets their little girl be traumatised from seeing her mama lying in a pool of blood on the floor. 

He can’t breathe - not even when the medics finally come and whisk her off to the hospital, his mind hardly able to process anything, terror still coursing through his veins when the doctors press brown envelopes full of forms into his bloodstained hands for him to sign so the relevant procedures can be carried out. 

‘Don’t!’ Osamu says sharply, when he drops his head into his hands and starts to whimper about how he’ll die if he loses her again and what the fuck is he gonna do, ‘Samu, if she doesn’t make it out alive – ‘she’s stronger than ya think, don’t ya dare give up on her like that’, and he promptly shuts up after that. Time in the waiting room passes agonizingly slow, seconds feeling like minutes, minutes stretching into hours, and he would have drowned from the weight of his despair if he weren’t anchored in place by his twin’s hand on his back.

His breath rushes back into his lungs when the doctors later tell him she’s fine,  they carried out the standard operation - but she doesn’t look fine, doesn’t seem fine, is very clearly not fine when they wheel her out, huddled into a ball with her head between her knees, like her world has just collapsed into itself. She doesn’t even look up when he sits beside her, the bed dipping under his weight. 

‘I’m sorry’, she eventually says, voice barely a whisper, and he fights the urge to break down into tears – because ‘Samu’s right, she’s so much stronger than he thinks. They'd been talking about trying for a sibling for Shino for some time now, since they've both grown up with brothers of their own and can't imagine life without them. But the doctors tell him that it’s just bad luck - the baby was never going to survive, and her collapse was probably exacerbated by stress, overwork, perhaps even fatigue from her skipping lunch for work and dinner to rush to his match.

‘Don’t be. It’s not yer fault at all’, he manages to pull himself together to reassure her, but she just stares blankly at the wall. 

His grandmother calls when they find out the baby they lost would have been a boy, and he fails her again when he’s too late to snatch the phone away before the old lady’s poison drips into her ears and traps her in a deadly fog. He’d cursed the old bitch out relentlessly, but the toxic words fester beneath her skin and she fades into a ghost before his eyes. He desperately tries to stop her spiral into frozen silence, but he’s away for games more than half the time, hands tied behind his back by the stranglehold of contracts and commitments he has no choice but to fulfil. 

He’s never been so thankful before when the season finally ends - but he is, at least this time, so he can talk her into taking two weeks off from work. They drop Shino off with her indulgent grandparents, and drift down the coast on the back of her bike. She doesn’t try breaking any speed limits - and he knows he should be happy about that, but there’s no spark in her eyes, no smile to answer the wind - there hasn’t been, not since she collapsed. 

(not since they lost their child)

He buys her mochi at every town, but she picks at it listlessly, just like she does these days when Osamu tries to tempt her with his latest creations. He insists they stay at  ryokans, traditional inns with onsens attached, hoping the heat from the water might chase the chill from her bones, but colour does not return to her cheeks. There are shadows beneath her eyes, and she seems to wilt under the vibrant red and gold of autumn leaves. 

They go for a walk after dinner one night, tracing a path along the shore. He’d been talking non-stop the entire trip to mask the gaps left by her silence, but tonight he falls quiet, allowing the hum of the waves to wash over them. Her hand is cold in his, so he wraps his jacket around her shoulders and hopes the warmth from his body bleeds into hers. 

She comes to a standstill, feet sinking in the sand, and tilts her head to face him. 

‘Tsumu?’, she breathes, a question in her eyes. 

‘I’m here’, he says, a prayer in his heart. 

There is a lighthouse on the cliff just a few miles ahead, illuminating the shadows of the waves. The faintest reflection of light pools in her eyes, and he stills as she lifts her gaze to meet his. 

‘I know’, she says, offering him the smallest of smiles. 

He interlaces their fingers together firmly, and tugs her towards shelter, as a storm brews over the horizon. 

That night she tucks her head under his chin, and he holds her until she falls asleep, cradled in his arms. He keeps slumber at bay by counting her breaths, and only falls asleep himself when the storm breaks. 

'Why did I wake up to a blonde octopus wrapped around me', she mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. 

'Nah. More like a seahorse, cos I'm not letting ya go, sweetheart', he replies, tightening his grip on her waist. 'Ya got a problem with that?' 

Her only response is to burrow herself deeper into his chest.

'Guess not', he chuckles fondly, nuzzling his nose into her hair, hope blossoming anew in his heart. 

Time turns their wounds into scars and they heal together, one breath at a time. 

She stays away from their first few matches when the season begins again. The press is coerced into passing over reports of her collapse by the dual forces of the MSBY press machine and their legal team, but they are forced to ride out the gossip generated in internet forums by a fringe group of deranged fans. His teammates treat her like she’s made of glass - even Bokuto dials himself down a notch, all save for Shoyo, who slips her his mother’s number, telling her gently that the six year gap between him and Natsu wasn’t deliberate, and that she would find a sympathetic ear in the older woman. 

He knew he was right to anoint Shoyo as his favourite wing spiker - not only does he fly high enough to answer the demand of every single one of his sets, but his sunniness drags her out of the fog into yoga classes and meditation practices, and slowly but surely he watches her bloom again. It’s a powerful combination - Shoyo-kun’s friendship and his mother’s gentle conversations, Osamu’s cooking and her love for Shino, capped with his determination to show her he loves her and prove that he’s here to stay.

‘It’s like Kintsugi’, she tells him, with a wide smile. ‘All of you poured gold into the cracks of my heart and made me whole again’. 

The years pass. 

Shino turns seven – a very respectable age for his very best girl, he tells her (I'm your only girl, Papa, Shino informs him archly), and obliges her demands of a bicycle in MSBY colours and volleyball lessons, forcing all his teammates to turn up for her birthday party, volleyball themed of course. The look of unadulterated joy on his princess’ face is worth every ounce of effort to put up with Sakusa’s complaints at having to turn up for a kiddie party full of loud noises and far too much candy, and the sweaty afternoons spent hand painting the bicycle black and gold. 

The day Atsumu discovers his first white hair makes her thank her lucky stars that she’s immune to his nonsense by now, because the wailing and gnashing of teeth she has to put up with makes ‘Samu offer her his couch as refuge. She slaps tape and salonpas on his aches and pains, and points to the deepening lines on her face when he complains about his age. 

‘Those lines aren’t wrinkles. If they’re caused by laughter, it doesn’t count’, he reasons laughingly. She’s left befuddled by his logic and shakes her head.

Meian Shugo retires, and Hinata throws a party to celebrate in his honour, cramming the entire MSBY team and assorted friends into his penthouse apartment on a rainy Saturday night. Osamu’s hired to cater the food but remains as a guest, shooting a smirk at him when Shoyo drags her off to dance during his favourite song, twin flames burning bright in the night. 

‘A hundred yen for your thoughts?’ she asks, when Shoyo returns with her breathless but wreathed with smiles. 

‘Was just wondering when you were gonna save a dance for this old man’, he teases. 

‘Oh?’ she says with a laugh. ‘Thought you said your back hurt, and you didn’t want to move?’

‘Meh - I was hoping you’d forget that’, he says airily, then frowns when he notices there’s no drink in her hand. 

‘Not drinking tonight, sweetheart?’, he asks, curling his fingers around her empty hand. 

‘The doctor warned me not too’, she answers, her smile growing impossibly wider. He blinks in confusion when she leans on to her toes to whisper into his ear - then oh. 

‘You’re pregnant?’ he repeats, unable to trust his ears, eyes filling with tears when she bites her lips and nods. 

‘Are you happy, ‘Tsumu?’, she asks, her face alight with hope. 

There is so much he wants to say to her, starting with thank you loving me enough to give me another chance all those years ago and ending with I love you, so ridiculously much – because he can never say it enough, she’s given him more than he deserves – her heart, Shino, a happy home and now the promise of another child. 

But there's salt and water welling up in his throat, and it’s all he can do to choke out a shaky ‘of course’, before gathering her in his arms, warmth pooling in his eyes, love overflowing in his heart. 

They stay that way for most of the night, entwined in each other’s arms, so drunk on happiness and love and warmth that they don’t even notice the storm clearing and the moon rising in the clear night sky. 

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[kouomi]

Misunderstandings

Summary: after miscommunication and many misunderstandings, you feel it is left up to you to end things with Bokuto for both of yours sake.

Warnings: slight angst, sad Bokuto :(, fluff at end!

Word count: 2,837

A/N: this is based off a dream I had lol so it might be a lil iffy. (Akaashi is rly a life saver in this that mans is a god(it has a good ending don’t worry))

Posted: March 4, 2021, 10:05 PM EST

Despite the scheduled time for the training camp being long over, the lights in gym three were still on and there was the constant sound of a volleyball being smacked to the ground accompanied by shoes squeaking on the wooden floors. Loud yells could be heard every time there was a successful spike or block from any of the boys who were practicing, no hints of fatigue present though they’d been at it for hours. All of these noises were silent to you as you approached though, your thoughts too loud in your ear for anything else to make it past. You nervously tossed your hands back and forth as you approached the familiar gym, having to drag your feet along to your destination as if they were made of concrete trying to hold you in place.

Somehow you managed to make it to the open door, your eyes widening as you peer inside and see many more people than you’d expected, glancing around before you catch the gaze of the person you’d come to see. He’s midair when he sees you, his hand that’d raised to spike a ball dropping as he smiles and lands early. You don’t return the happy expression that usually sparked so much joy within you, instead you turn and quickly flee the overwhelming scene. It was all too much, you just wanted to come and talk to him but seeing how happy he looked and his friends turning to see you had easily spooked you off with your mind already going haywire.

“Bokuto, what was that?” Kuroo calls after his friend though he’s already following you out the door, “Who’s that?”

“His girlfriend.” Akaashi answers, picking up the ball he’d set and ducking under the net to stand next to the other boy.

“Didn’t look like it.” Tsukishima blinks, Kuroo punching him in the shoulder.

“She did look different.” Akaashi says, “And she ran away, it’s probably not anything good.”

“Does that mean that’s the end of practice?” Hinata asks, the other three turning to glare at him.

Outside Bokuto had caught up to you further down the lit pathways along the back of the gym, each heavy step of him jogging towards you making you want to sprint away.

“Hey, Y/n, slow down!” He calls out.

Reluctantly you stop though still keep your back to him, biting your lip as he walks in front of you. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, you should go back to practice.” You say quietly, finding yourself unable to look him in the eye, “We can talk later.”

“They’ll be okay without me for a second, what did you wanna talk about?”

It hurts. It hurts to hear his positive tone and be in his warm and bubbly presence when you just felt so wrong. You knew you needed to do this, that you’d been keeping it to yourself far too long and lying to him wasn’t going to help anyone, but something in you was pulling you back and begging you not to be the reason that his trademark positivity diminishes. He was looking at you with sparkling loving eyes the same way he had since you’d met and instead of making you feel warm it only broke you even more.

“Y/n/n?” He asks, slight worry slipping into his voice as he reaches out for your hand. You take a step back and look down at the sidewalk, noticing him visibly droop at your rejection.

“I’m sorry Koutarou it’s just...” You start, having to stop to swallow the bump in your throat before continuing, “I can’t do this.”

“Huh? Babe, what do you-“

“Us. This isn’t working, and I know you know what I’m talking about. I think it’d be better for both of us if we just call it quits now.”

He stops, any light heartedness he’d carried before now gone and being replaced with a chilling atmosphere. His sudden change and knowing you were what was making him feel this way made the stinging in the back of your eyes worse, tears beginning to pool and slide down your cheeks.

“Is it because I missed our last date?” He asks, a sad and almost desperate tone to his voice, “I can make it up to you, we don’t have to break up.”

“No it’s not your fault Bo.” You say, your heart breaking when you look up and see his eyes shining with unshed tears, “I’m sorry.”

You pull the white oversized jacket off of your shoulders, the slightly chilled night air nipping at your exposed arms as you hand it to him. He takes it in a robotic movement, watching as you turn and practically run away from him, disappearing back towards the main building and leaving him standing alone.

What did he do wrong? Did he not give you enough attention, too much? Suffocate you with too much affection? Spend more time on volleyball than he did on you? What wrong path did he go down to have lost you along the way? He tried to work through your relationship in his head and figure out what happened but his thoughts are buzzing by too fast for him to focus on one. His fist clenched around his jacket in his hand as finally the first of many tears fell on to the fabric. Bokuto found himself unable to move, too frozen by your words to will his legs to move and unsure they’d be able to support him if he did.

“Bokuto? What happened?” Akaashi asks after walking out to find his friend as he’d been gone for so long.

“Y/n she’s... gone.”

-

The next day of the training camp Fukurodani only won one game when their star ace was benched, everyone taking notice to the mood Bokuto was stuck in that not even Akaashi could pull him out of. Word had traveled fast amongst the teams as to what had happened, the topic less gossip and more curiosity and then pity for him.

“Bokuto, you can’t sit around and sulk all day.” Kuroo says, lightly hitting a volleyball into his friends back.

He doesn’t react when the ball hits him, staying slouched after recovering from the hit.

“What did I do wrong?” Bokuto mumbles to himself, eyes focused on his palms in his lap.

“This could not have happened at a worse time.” Sarukui pants, joining his teammates where they stood after finishing the penalty lap. “It’s throwing everyone’s game off.”

“Do something Akaashi.” Konoha says, shoving the setter in the shoulder as he speaks.

“I’ve been trying since last night. The only way he’d get out of this is if they got back together.”

“Why’d she break up with him anyway? They seemed fine.”

“I haven’t asked, I think it’ll just make him worse.”

“We can chase down the girl after camp.” Kuroo suggests, the other boys turning to look at him, “I’m sure you know where to find her, Akaashi.”

He sighs, resting his hands on his hips. “I’ll go to her house later. Knowing Y/n if we all went she’d shut us out.”

“Two peas in a pod.”

“Get back inside for the next round of games!” A coach yells out, all of the players exclaiming a quick “yes sir!” Before walking through the open double-doors.

-

Even though you’d pulled into your driveway almost an hour ago you still sat in the drivers seat of your car, the radio playing quietly in the background as you sat with your head against the headrest. Your cheeks were stained with runny mascara and dried tears and though they’d finally stopped falling you were still left with the pit in your stomach that was threatening to consume you whole. You were glued to your seat, but even if your body allowed you to move you weren’t sure you would. It was all just empty, no matter what you did in the day, homework, spending time with friends, going shopping, nothing changed. Everything had gone dull without him.

A sudden knock on your window makes you jump, your heart skipping a beat when you turn to see a tall figure looming next to your car before you recognize them to be your friend. With a heavy sigh you drop your head back against the seat, lifting your hand and unlocking the car doors as you do so. Akaashi opens the passenger side door and sits down, silence enveloping you both as he takes in your broken down appearance.

“What do you want, Akaashi?” You ask, words quiet as you try and make sure your voice doesn’t waver.

He’s quiet a moment before he responds, taking in your appearance with an almost surprised expression. “What happened? Why’d you break up with Bokuto?”

“It was for him.” You sigh, feeling warm tears follow in the path of your old ones, “Things changed- it just seemed like it’d be better for him if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What’re you talking about? If anything he’s better with you.”

“I was holding him back from really being himself. Even without that we hardly saw each other and recently it’s like we’re more acquaintances than anything it was just... not what’s right for either of us.”

“Why can’t you just talk through it? He’s tearing himself up over this and none of us can get through to him, I’m starting to get worried.”

His words work another wedge into your heart as you flash back to the look he’d given you a few days prior.

“I’m sorry Akaashi.” You sniff, dragging a hand through your hair as you spoke, “I didn’t want to but I just couldn’t do that to him anymore. H-he’ll be okay eventually.”

“You and I both know that-“ He begins, voice slightly rising.

“Please leave.” You interrupt, his brow slightly raising in surprise, “I just can’t deal with this right n-now.”

He’s stiff for a moment before obliging, opening the door again and stepping out. He moves his hand to the outside of the car to shut the door again, turning away from you and beginning to take a step away.

“Akaashi wait.” You call out, the brunette stopping and looking at you expectingly, “Can you give him a hug for me?”

“You can do it yourself when you get back together.” He states before closing the door and walking down the driveway, leaving you alone feeling even worse than you did a few minutes prior.

What did he mean “when you get back together”? Hadn’t you made it obvious you thought it’d be best if you stayed apart? Sure it hurt, it felt like being stabbed in the heart every time you were reminded of him, but you just wanted what was best. He’d be happier without you even if he was sad for a few days - right?

-

“Bokuto.”

The captain doesn’t move at the sound of his name, his head still stuck under his blanket as he sat in the dark of his room.

“I talked to Y/n.”

This catches his attention as he peaks out of the fabric of his comforter and to his friend, a slight sliver of hope shining on his otherwise dim expression.

“What did she say?” He asks.

“That you’d grown apart, she did it to make you happier, and you’d be better without her.” Akaashi answers.

“What?!” Bokuto exclaims suddenly, catching the other boy by surprise as his mood does a complete 180, “Why would she think that, it’s-it’s-it’s just wrong! I need to go talk to her!”

“You should wait a little bit for that.” Akaashi replies, placing a hand on his friends shoulder to stop his dash for the door, “She’s not exactly in a talking mood.”

He frowns at this, his hair slightly drooping as if connected to his expression. He springs up again, an almost visible light bulb appearing above his head.

“I have an idea!”

-

“Kenma?” You call out as you walk into the gym, peering around the room for the setter. You check the texts where he asked for you to meet him here for a charger for his Switch to make sure you got the right place and time, even sending him another text though he doesn’t respond. Confused, you turn around to go back to your house wondering why he’d ask you and then not show.

“Wait, Y/n!”

You freeze when you hear his voice, your face falling when you realize he’s now standing in front of you.

“Sorry, I have to get home.” You whisper, moving to walk past him though your stopped by a gentle hand around your wrist.

“Can we talk please?” Bokuto asks.

If it were anyone else you’d already be gone. If it were anyone else, the pleasing tone in their voice wouldn’t be enough to keep you standing there. If it were anyone else you would’ve pulled your hand away already. But it wasn’t anyone else - it was Bokuto; the one person who you always found yourself unable to say no to.

You let out a sigh and remove your hand from his grip, standing a few feet distance between you as you waited for him to speak.

“I just don’t understand why.” He starts, “I know you told Akaashi it was for me but that just doesn’t make sense.”

“I... I noticed how stressed you seemed trying to balance everything with school, us, volleyball.” You respond, unable to bring yourself to look him in the eye, “And you tried to hide it but I could tell. We started drifting apart and we hardly saw each other I just... I just want you to be happy, Bo.”

“But I was happy with you.” He says, taking a small step forward, “There was a lot going on, but I have it all under control. I don’t think I can do it without you though; I need you Y/n.”

“I was just holding you back. This is for the best.”

“What?! You weren’t holding me back! If anything you’re helping!”

“But we were...”

“Hey, I’m sorry if I made you think you were just another problem.” Bokuto says, voice venturing into a more serious tone that finally makes you look up at him, “We can work this out together yeah? I think I’ll explode if I go another day without you.”

Your eyes look back and forth between his own and you feel a tear grow pregnant and slide down your cheek as he looked back at you with hopefulness and anticipation. His golden eyes that you’d fallen in love with shone with the reflected, intense fluorescent lights above and had a sparkle to them that you hadn’t seen in so long. You missed seeing him everyday and this aura of joy and excitement he carried around, the way he looked at you with such love and kindness. Was it possible to salvage your relationship? Could you find a way to balance everything out with each other?

You sat there for what felt like hours as he waited for your answer, tossing the ideas and options over in your head before you finally came to a result. You closed your eyes for a moment before opening them again with a small nod, watching as an infectious smile spread across his face from ear to ear. He’s quick to wrap you in a hug tight enough to squeeze all of the air out of your lungs and pick your feet off the ground but you don’t pay any mind, your arms going around his shoulders as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. He spins you both in circle emitting a small giggle from you as you hug him tighter, only slightly pulling away when your feet are back on the ground. Almost as soon as you’d pulled your face away from his neck Bokuto catches your lips with his in a passionate kiss, both of you being forced to stop when your smiles get to wide.

“Wait!” He suddenly exclaims, pulling his arms away and shrugging his jacket off of his shoulders before eagerly placing it around yours. You melt into the fabric as your enveloped in his scent, slipping your arms through the sleeves with a content smile.

“Sleepover?” You ask, laughing when he quickly nods.

“That was almost too easy.” Kuroo says as he watches you and Bokuto walk out with your arms around each other. He rest his chin on the railing of the platform above the court, glancing sideways to where Akaashi and Kenma sat beside him.

“They can’t stay away from each other long enough to actually break up.” Akaashi sighs, pushing off from the railing he leaned on, “I wouldn’t be surprised if something like this happened again though.”

“They seem happy together.” Kenma comments before viciously pressing buttons on his phone.

“How would you know? You didn’t look up at all!” Kuroo exclaims, tapping the top of his friends device.

“Hey, I was paying attention.”

“Sure you were.”