#(wait i think i should clarify: im gonna be okay.)

[cigarettes-and-black-eyeliner]

actually I'd love to live in the delusional world my mother lives in where the reason I hate her is because of that damn phone and not because of the years of abuse like okay. like i genuinely wish all my problems would be solved by not using my phone. she literally told me that my phone turned me into a crazy person and a monster who hates her. okay lmfao. i literally laughed when she told me that. through the internet i actually met people who made me understand that the way my parents treat me is bad and i grew bitter. But I actually try to still be nice to her, I literally gave her my money to buy herself a gift and bought her food she likes etc

[rafeandonlyrafe]

ready

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ only, smut, soft!rafe, inexperienced!reader (not a virgin though), reader is briefly described as small chested, p in v sex, mentions of past bad experiences

you feel like you've been kissing rafe for hours, but it's probably only been a few minutes as his lips gently glide against yours. his hands are placed securely at your waist, not venturing any further until you give him permission, even though he's itching to feel your bare skin.

“should we take this upstairs?” rafe asks, his voice a soft hum, sultry and low.

“oh, um-” you freeze, and rafe can feel the change in your body, the way you suddenly stiffen.

“just because wheezie is going to come home soon. we can just kiss, don't have to do anything you don't want to.” rafe quickly clarifies.

“yes, then.” you nod enthusiastically. “absolutely.”

rafe smiles, looping your hands together as he walks you upstairs to his room. you feel your heartbeat speed up, even though rafe assured you that you wouldn't be doing anything you weren't ready for.

“sorry for freaking out for a second earlier.” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as rafe shuts the door behind you.

“it's fine.” rafe shakes his head. “i should have been more clear. we take this at your pace, baby.”

“thank you.” you loop your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss. “who knew rafe cameron could be such a sweeatheart?”

“you bring it out in me, princess, i don't know what to say.” rafe backs you up until the back of your knees hit his bed and you lower yourself down.

“i do have a question though.” rafe hums as he sits himself down next to you. “and im not going to judge you either way, it's just for me to know how to handle things.”

“okay.” you nod, already guessing where this is going.

“are you a virgin?”

“no.” you shake your head. “ive had a couple experiences before but none of them have been… good.” you sigh, thinking back to your first boyfriend who took your virginity on prom night, in all of 30 seconds. “and i haven't had sex in a long time so in a way i kind of feel like a virgin.”

“okay.” rafe nods, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, gently cradling you against his side. “thank you for telling that to me.”

“i… want to, though. with you.”

“there's no rush, i want you too, but we can take our time.” rafe presses a kiss to your head.

“you're not gonna get bored waiting?” you duck your head as you speak, ashamed of the question even as you ask.

“never, babes. you're my girl, yeah? i don't take that lightly. if i wasn't willing to wait, i wouldn't have asked you out in the first place.”

a smile stretches across your cheeks as you hide your face in rafes shirt. 

“oh, you're so cute when you're all shy.” rafe laughs, cupping your cheek and lifting your face up to look at him, pressing kisses all over your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose.

“i want you.” you say, chasing rafes lips to connect them.

“you already said that.” 

“i mean-” you take a deep breath, considering your decision. “i mean i want you now. im ready.”

“right now? baby if you feel pressured-”

“no, no.” you grip his shirt. “i really want this.”

“okay.” rafe can't help the smile that stretches across his cheeks. “we're taking things slow though, alright?”

you nod, kissing him again as rafe moves you, guiding you to lay back against the pillows. he hovers over you, holding his weight up on his elbows.

rafe pulls back, looking down at you. “you're so beautiful.”

you feel your cheeks flush red as you blush, resisting the urge to cover your face. 

“im gonna take my shirt off first, alright? make you feel nice and comfortable.” rafe says.

“you mean make me feel hot and turned on? because that's what happens when you take your shirt off around me.” you giggle.

“oh, i see the way you stare at me when i take you out on the boat.” rafe laughs, placing his knees on either side of your body on the bed, caging you in as he straightens out, pulling his shirt off.

“can i… touch you?” you question. you've hugged rafe before when he's shirtless, but you've never specifically focused on feeling his muscles.

rafe doesn't answer with his words, simply taking your hand and placing it on his abs.

you run your hand over the ridges of his abdomen before moving up, feeling his defined chest, pecks almost as big as your own breasts.

“satisfied?” rafe asks when you lower your hand.

“yeah im… im gonna take my shirt off now.” you tell rafe, wanting to feel rafe touching you, the way your bare skin presses together when he leans back down and kisses you.

rafe moves back, allowing you to pull your tank top off, leaving your bra covering your chest for now.

“so hot, baby.” rafe drops himself over you, kissing you again. you wrap your arms around his shoulders, feeling the way he's so sculpted there too as your hand drifts down his back.

“can i take your bra off?” rafe questions. “only if you want.”

“mhm.” you go to reach behind your back, but rafe moves faster than you, unclipping your bra and sliding the straps down your arms. he leaves you the final decision to pull the cups away.

you swear rafes eyes increase in size as he takes in your bare chest.

“it's okay, you can touch me. i-i want you to touch me.” 

rafe nods, hands coming to cover your tits, large palms swallowing them.

“i know they're small-” you begin to explain, but rafe cuts you off.

“they're perfect, baby.” rafe says honestly. you can see him now beginning to tent in his shorts as he stays kneeling above you, hands moving to cup your tits, thumbs running around your nipples before swiping over them.

you gasp, surprised by how good it feels. none of the guys you slept with in the past paid any real attention to making you feel good as rafe continues, watching your nipples harden with every movement.

“we can stop here for today if you like.” rafe says, hands moving to your waist, wrapping around you as he drops once again to press a kiss to your lips.

“no, i don't want to stop.” you admit shyly. “i want you so bad.”

“good, because im hard as hell and if you wanted to stop id definitely have to go take care of myself in the bathroom.” rafes joke diffuses the situation even more as you let out a laugh.

“im just gonna touch you over your shorts for now. if at any point it's too much…” rafe trails off, knowing he's being so extra cautious you probably find it annoying, but he doesn't want today to be added to your list of bad experiences.

rafe moves himself to the side, distracting you with more kisses as his hand drops to spread your legs, fingers gently running over your thighs before moving up higher.

rafe keeps his movements light as he begins to rub your center, increasing the intensity when you moan against his mouth.

“does that feel good?” he smiles down at you, watching your face contort in pleasure.

“in… inside my shorts please.” you take rafes hand and move him one less barrier away. rafe sees your need and immediately begins to rub again, now with just your underwear in the way.

“oh god, you're so wet.” rafe groans, focusing in on your clit as you let out soft moans, aware that you're likely no longer alone in the house.

“i-i need you rafe.”

“yeah.” rafe pulls his hand out, clearly unable to wait as he's straining against the zipper of his shorts.

rafe steps off the bed and you watch in fascination as he undoes his shorts, sliding them off to reveal his incredibly obvious bulge in his underwear before rifling through his nightstand to pull out a condom.

“no complaints.” he says when you open your mouth. “i know you're on birth control but your first time with me is not going to be raw. just in case you don't like it.”

you giggle, rolling your eyes. “i know im gonna like it, rafe.”

“still.” he leans down, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.

you watch intensely as rafes underwear is also pushed off his hips, his cock standing hard and up away from his body.

“do you want me to… suck it or something?”

“if you do that i won't get to fuck you.” it takes you a second to realize what rafe means.

“oh!”

“you just… really turn me on.” he admits.

you lift your hips and push your shorts and underwear down in one go, kicking them off the bed to add to the piles of clothes on the floor

rafe smirks, glad you're growing more and more confident every minute.

rafe lays back down next to you, both turning to the side to face each other.

“are you nervous?” rafe questions, hand falling to your bare hip, rubbing your leg and keeping his eyes locked with yours, despite wanting to look down and see all of you.

“i thought i would be.” you admit softly. “but im not. not with you.”

“im gonna let you control everything at first.” rafe lifts your leg and sets it over his hip, his cock nestling between your thighs.

you close your eyes as you press down, experimenting with the way rafes cock rubs through your folds, having to remember to keep your moans quiet when it bumps against your clit.

“whenever you're ready.” rafe says, his eyes now squeezed shut as he concentrates on holding himself back.

you reach down, grasping rafes cock as you move him against your entrance, angling your hips as you sink forward until he's as far inside of you as he can get in this position.

“just…” rafes hand squeezes at your hip. “stay like that for a second, baby.”

you need a moment to adjust anyways, so you keep your hips still until rafe exhales and nods at you.

you look down between your bodies, watching the way his cock disappears inside of you with every movement.

“god, you feel amazing.” he moans. 

“you can move. please.” you whimper. rafe nods again, beginning to rock back and forth, making the mattress squeak underneath you as he meets your thrusts.

the movements may be slow, but you're gradually building up, experimenting by shifting your hips and seeing what feels best.

you let out a sudden moan when you tilt your hips and rafes cock hits a new sensitive spot inside of you.

“no one's ever done that before for you, huh?” rafe smiles at your clear shock and pleasure as he thrusts in and presses the spot again.

“oh fuck.” you whine, head leaning back as rafe carefully moves you onto your back so he can take over.

“you don't know how long ive wanted to see you like this.” rafe says, balancing on his elbows as his hips press into you, keeping the thrusts slow but deep.

“moaning beneath me. god, i would have waited forever for you but im so glad we're doing this now.” 

“rafe, stop.” you whine. “you're gonna make me cry and im way too horny to start sobbing.”

rafe laughs, bending down to press a kiss to your forehead before refocusing on your pleasure as he speeds up.

“im gonna touch your clit as i fuck you, baby.” rafe informs you before moving his hand, thumb pressing over your clit as he rubs.

“oh shit!” you squeal before quickly covering your mouth, your hips lifting off the bed as rafe continues to fuck into you.

“are you close?” he questions, glad that you nod, not sure how much longer he can hold off.

rafe pushes his pleasure aside for a bit longer as he presses inside of you, sighing with relief when he feels you tighten around him.

“oh my god, rafe!” you moan as your high suddenly hits, entire body shaking as your pussy pulses around his cock, spurring on rafes own orgasm as he cums with a moan of your name, filling the condom.

he gives you a feel final thrusts, his thumb shakily rubbing your clit through your high until he can't hold himself up any longer, collapsing on the bed to the side of you.

you're both breathing heavily, recovering from the intensity. as soon as rafe can get his muscles to respond to him, he pulls you in close, tucking you against his side.

“so, was i good baby?” he asks, even as your body still shakes with the after waves of your pleasure.

“best ive ever had.” you grin up at him. “by a long shot.”

“just what i like to hear.” rafe bends down to give you a kiss before pushing your hair away from his face and leaning to whisper into your ear. “and you haven't even got to feel my mouth yet. just wait until i eat you out.”

[usercelestial]

airing out my personal grievances with this show and this storyline here both to just get it and clarify why i'm mad before i get any saying that i'm just mad one of my ships sunk

1) buck is never gonna get a long term love interest that makes sense because the two that do make sense, tommy and eddie, are either not queer or cut from the show. the writing is lazy and they have zero direction for this show or its character's plots.

2) eddie isn't going to be gay, maybe im wrong about this but i've held out hope long enough and i just feel tired waiting and analyzing. he said he was straight this episode for the first time and we know tim was talking directly to the audience. plus ryan guzman has been blasting the hetero gun for a while now in interviews.

3) if they wanted buck and tommy to just be casual, they should have built it to be casual. including him 8x01 is unnecessary now if you were just going to get rid of him, having buck look at tommy when he says "our people is what makes life worth living" or whatever he says doesn't make sense if they weren't going to last, and ultimately bringing tommy back at all past season 7 or really past 7x06. they still could have dated but they needed to make it clear that they are not sticking around outside of tommy getting buck basketball tickets and buck not knowing tommy is gay in 8x06, which doesn't hint at a whole lot when interviews made it clear they still getting to know each other at this point. that doesn't strike me as odd in the moment if "they're relationship is deepening" still. even if you do notice it, you should have established it in previous episodes, instead of introducing two scenes before they break up.

4) the reason buck and tommy broke up is biphobic. im not going to rehash that but yes, telling a bisexual man that he shouldn't fall in love with the first guy he dates because he hasn't "explored other options" is biphobic.

side note: if the issue is that buck still doesn't feel comfortable with his bisexuality, then i think they missed a few chances to have buck make that clear, namely having him react or correct maddie at all when she called him gay. the only scene i can think of where it seems like buck may not feel comfortable if the scene where a girl flirts with buck and tommy tells him it's okay to look but i don't think the point of that scene is communicated effectively if it was supposed to be buck dealing being on a date with a guy but also knowing he's still attracted to women and maybe still not understanding himself fully

5) this fandom is toxic and horrible, b/ddie is the only thing that anyone is allowed to like and every other relationship just exists to bolster and uphold it. im tired of being in a fandom doesn't care about lesbians (which ive run into with a few bucktommys but still) and it feels like no matter how much the actors/actresses get harassed and bullied, no one stands up for them because i dont think tim minear or really even oliver stark wants to double down on telling toxic fans to fuck off

that's mostly it i think. if they didn't want people getting attached, then they shouldn't have included bucktommy scenes where they were unnecessary. most of episode 5 feels like we're building buck and tommy's relationship up so much. i would have been way more okay with this break up if (1) they didn't make it seem like buck was falling in love tommy and vice versa ie. all of episode 5 and buck's conclusion in episode 6 where he decides that he could see a future with tommy and (2) the reason for the break up didn't feel so insidious.

[destinygoldenstar]

Golden Analyzes 2001 Nominees “Shrek”

*Have Not Seen Prior, GF Has*

We’ve reached it. The very first Best Animated Feature Winner.

Pay Respects.

So this is the first case scenario where me and my GF, (we’re watching these together) have totally different experiences with a movie on the list.

Jimmy Neutron - We both never seen it

Monsters Inc - We both seen it

THIS movie, I hadn’t watched it in full prior to this. But she has.

Actually, I think I should clarify my stance when I say ‘haven’t seen it’. Cause with Jimmy Neutron, I actually hadn’t seen a single clip of it and knew nothing going in.

With this movie? I mean I haven’t sat down and watched the movie in full before this.

I’ve been SPOILED TO DEATH about this movie. So I know the plot. I know what happens. There are no surprises waiting for me.

But I’ve only sat down and seen a few clips. One was the very end of the second movie years ago when I was walking in on a babysitting watch party. Another was that scene in the third movie of that ogre baby doing a vomit rocket, which was even longer ago back when I was a kid with Windows XP. (Come on Microsoft, make Windows interesting again!)

And we also went on a Shrek themed VR ride at Universal. I don’t remember anything about it aside from we rode it.

Though to be fair I never remember VR rides that well.

So I know Shrek. I know it’s story. I know the impact it’s had on the industry. I just never found time or interest to sit down and watch the full movie.

My GF on the other hand has seen all the movies and spin-offs, and she is a pretty casual fan. She’s rather indifferent to these movies, and said they’re good movies.

So… she’s gonna have more to say in the reactions than usual. While I descend into madness.

But due to the Oscars nominations, I will get a descent Shrek fill in. Shrek 2 is 2004. Puss N Boots & Puss N Boots The Last Wish we’re both nominated. I will be required to watch those.

But not the third of fourth movies. I am not required to watch those. And I heard they were the worst of the franchise so I probably won’t. Depends if I get that invested in Shrek.

Okay… let’s go in.

Reaction:

Bold is my GF’s words

“Did this storybook rip off Sleeping Beauty? That looks familiar.” “It’s also odd as these characters don’t look like that in the movie.”

“Sorry, my mind is dirty. That F is way too big. Replace ‘for’ with the f word. Completely changed the sentence.”

“SOME-BODY ONCE TOLD ME- I’m sorry.”

“YOU EAT MUD?!”

“He’s so ugly that the mirror couldn’t stand to look at him.”

”He murdered a fish with his farts. Oh dear gosh he murdered a lot of fish with his farts.” “That’s one way to go fishing I guess.” “Why would you shower in mud if you’re just gonna take a bath right after?”

”This movie’s gross. Especially those slugs just… they don’t look right.”

“Okay, eating eyeballs?! No no no no. Nope… I’ve watched Total Drama though. I havent had a movie that’s made me lose my appetite for Cheeze-It’s yet. Let’s see if this one breaks me.”

(It didn’t. I could still eat Cheeze-Its throughout the movie)

“I wonder if he traumatized these people for sport.”

*He puts the fire out like it’s nothing* “😂” “😂 They’re a bunch of cowards.”

”I’ve had this headcanon as to why Donkey is being sold along with the other fairy tale creatures when he’s not a fairy tale character. You know in Pinocchio the island that turns people into donkeys and one of them talks still? He’s that donkey.”

”Those banners are the Facebook logo!” “Huh? Oh yeah… I was always confused by that cause Farquad’s colors are red and yellow.” “He’s Lord Facebook! He’s the head of Facebook!”

*’Im a real boy’ *nose grows** “That is so depressing.”

“Dang, Tinker Bell is either a failure or a sociopath.”

“I mean, you did save him with no reason to, so…”

“Oh he’s so us.”

“I mean technically it’s his property, and you’re a stranger. He kinda has a right to not let you in.”

“One thing that always bothered me was how everyone looks so old.” “Yeah.” “Is it because fairy tales are old??”

“NOOOO” “What?” “I thought he was gonna eat it for a second. Whatever he pulled out of his ear.” “Ear wax candle.”

”You can’t just put a CORPSE on the table!”

“Over a DAY, they ALL set up a whole civilization here.”

*Does anyone else know where to find him?* “No trust. No respect.”

”‘I am going to save your lives! But only for my own selfish reasons. But I’m still doing it!’”

“Oh yeah, this gingerbread man suffers a lot.”

“NO NOT THE LEGS. COME ON.”

*I tried to be fair to you creatures* “So murder and enslavement is fair.”

“How is he not a king? He has a castle and is a dictator and everything.”

“She’s DEAD. 😂 Yes marry a corpse. Would you like your bride alive or dead?”

“That’s gotta be one of the worst designed castles I’ve ever seen in a movie.”

“Hi welcome to Facebook.”

”I’m perfectly okay with sacrificing all of you.”

*oh that’s not very nice…* “Shrek gets so much mistreatment that he-“ *Its just a donkey* “Oh… 😂”

”GET DRUNK YOU GOONS”

*Onions have layers* *Ogres are like onions* "...THAT had to be the WORST metaphor you could've possible come up with."

(It's a SIMILE, actually. I thought I was a writer)

“Honestly I’m with Donkey on this one.”

“I can never look at this scene the same way again knowing they have those hybrid babies” “…THE DONKEY AND DRAGON DO IT?!”

“I don’t ship this. Ew. Ew. Ew.”

“She speaks in old English?” “Yeah. She doesn’t do it all the time though.”

*well I have to save my ass* “😯” “Oh yeah, also there’s swearing in this.” “No I’m fine I just didn’t expect that reply.”

”I don’t ship this… I’m deeply uncomfortable. A dragon is trying to S/A a donkey.”

*Shrek gets his ass kissed* “AAAHHH! NOO!! NO NO NO NO NO!!” “…I forgot about that part…” “AAAAAHHH! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THIS MOVIE?!”

”…oh okay… she has wings…” “Yeah good thing.” “I thought the dragon was gonna get hanged for a second.”

*Why didn’t he come rescue me?* “Yeah. Exactly.”

“No consent. Dragging a woman away without consent.”

“He’s already got the wedding outfits set up…” *sees the bear rug* “OH MY GOD.” “Yeah…” “I’m actually jumpscared…” “Earlier in the movie, the three bears were locked up together and the bears were crying for her… and then at another point in the movie she’s not there and the dad and baby are crying.” “😨NOO.”

(RIP Mama Bear)

*singing to the bird* “Awww…” *the bird explodes* “😳… actually I saw that coming. Still messed up.” *takes the eggs to cook* “NO!!!! NO. NO. NO. NO. THATS ANOTHER LEVEL OF SCREWED UP! NO! NO! IM LOSING MY MIND!!!” “Im gonna go…”

(We took a five minute break)

“Huh. A crass princess. Interesting.”

“…is it bad that I was kinda vibing with that?” “It wasn’t good. And they’re misogynistic… but yeah, I was vibing with that too.”

“…Im deeply uncomfortable but what do I expect now?”

“I was waiting for those frog balloons, oh gosh…” “It doesn’t phase me anymore.”

“…so are those animals dead?”

“She’s gonna marry Facebook.”

“DONKEY. I was digging that!”

“Is it bad that I think she’s really pretty as an ogre?” “Yes! Definitely! She’s real cute like this. Love the curves.”

“I wonder if her dress was designed specifically for this transformation.” “Im pretty sure it’s just magic.” “I think it’s just a very stretchy dress.”

*I thought that wouldn’t matter to you* “What?”

(REWINDED)

“…what’d she say?”

(REWINDED AGAIN)

“Yeah I’m not crazy. She said that SO quiet I can’t even hear it.”

(At least the version we watched, idk)

“Oh here’s the part. The leg part.” *the leg part* “😂”

“Uh…” *she presses the Farquad figure in the cake* “Yeah.”

“I’m very surprised there’s no guards blocking the door.”

“Why don’t you just go in? What’s stopping you?”

“The domino effect on the people 😂”

“…oh it does magic her clothes too.”

”😳 OKAY THEN.” “That’s a dark way to die for sure.” “I was expecting him to put up a fight, but THAT’S how he dies… that’s kinda pathetic.”

“😂” “Wait, this one window didn’t smash. Hold on.”

“I LOVE that she stays an ogre. That’s such a great message.”

(We Stan Fiona in this household)

“And then they all sing Shrek’s style in the end. Having accepted him.” “I didnt even notice that.”

Review:

Yeah, uh… I think I lost it far more than I thought I would. XD

And I’m a Total Drama viewer, which is pretty much this franchise but parodying reality Tv instead of fairy tales.

This is one of those movies that would probably not fly today from how much… rancidness is here. But apparently they’re making a fifth movie, which I, who has only seen the first movie so far, cannot comment feelings about.

I won’t dock points for it though, as it’s pretty clear it’s all done on purpose to serve as the movies distinct identity…

…you know, as one giant hate letter to Disney. If you know its history.

Okay, but putting that aside, this movie was a cultural phenomenon and a huge deal… and I get why.

Nowadays everyone’s trying to copy it, pretty much anyone under the Universal belt copied it at least once. But back then… yeah there wasn’t anything like it. And unlike those imitators that make their movies as childish garbage, this movie knows exactly what it’s doing and what it wants to say.

So much so that they repeat the message of the movie over and over and OVER again. And ngl, I felt pretty bashed in the face every time they said something under the likes of “don’t judge a book by its cover”. Because it was NOT SUBTLE AT ALL.

I think that’s a dialogue issue more than anything else. I would say kids movie, they have to use subtext less, but then I remember Monsters Inc was also an Oscar nomination and that movie knew subtext pretty well.

I think this is my biggest critique of the movie. There’s a bit of a lack of subtext.

There’s a lot of telling instead of showing. And I think the story and the message would’ve hit a whole lot harder if they showed things instead of just saying them.

For example, Shrek talks about how everyone immediately called him a monster before knowing him… but that’s it. He talks about it. What we’re shown is the aftermath of such where HE’S purposefully scaring THEM. Yeah I know he’s not attempting to murder anyone doing this he just wants privacy, but I think they could’ve made these civilians a bit more unlikeable, unreasonable, and unfair going in to make Shrek’s point have more ground to stand on. I think the scene would’ve hit a lot harder for me.

I do have other critiques as well

The animation is… actually not as bad as people make it out to be now. Yeah it aged badly but there are some really pretty skies.

Mostly the problem isn’t even the animation, it’s the designs.

That Lord Facebook castle is… YIKES, that’s bad looking.

The ogres look fine, but the people just look… OLD. Like, far older than I think they’re supposed to be. I think the only human character that looks like the age they’re supposed to be is Fiona.

My GF pointed this out too. She suggested that maybe everyone looking like this is on purpose to add to the fairytale satire angle. And maybe.

Now I have my fair share of fairytale satires in my life… but I am a little confused on how fairytales function in this world??

Like obviously the characters are there, but do they live out their respective fairytale stories? Are they aware their stories are written in stone? What about the people who aren’t fairytale characters? What do they do?

None of these world building questions get answered, at least not in this movie. Like, maybe if Shrek was a fairytale character, even if a very minor monster obstacle character, then the hatred towards him would be much more understandable?? Like, on the civilian’s end not on the message’s end.

Lord Facebook is also probably the weakest character in the movie.

Yes I know it’s Lord Farquad, but over the reaction we made a joke about the Facebook looking banners so we’re calling him Lord Facebook.

There’s really only one scene where I’m convinced he’s a threat as a villain, and that’s him torturing the gingerbread man. He hates and slaughters fairy tale creatures because… why not? (I forgot) And he somehow is not the king??

Why would he need to be king if he already has this much power?

And even then most of his power is used off screen. Like the Mama Bear murder. ON SCREEN, aside from that one scene I already mentioned, he poses pretty little threat. The heroes don’t really try to stop him until the end of the movie, Fiona puts up very little fight for her own character reasons, and in the final battle, Facebook gets eaten and killed very early and very easily without much of a fight. A fight that his GUARDS do.

I’m just saying, the main villain kinda doesn’t have too much of a ‘role’ dictating the narrative. Cause again, it was Fiona’s choice to go with him. She’s not being held captive by him or anything. He’s not the guy that locked her up in that tower.

So this movie has some issues…

I still very much appreciate it.

Despite the movie being made out of spite (if you go behind the scenes) it has a strong heart of a story of an outcast learning to let people in his life.

Shrek is not a monster. That’s just the stereotype people put on ogres. But he acts like that monster as a coping mechanism for loneliness. Which is a very real psychological thing.

I first assumed the movie was about this ogre getting a redemption arc and changing into a better person, but this is a subversion I’m pretty pleased with. I mean yeah Shrek is… flawed, but so is everyone. And he shouldn’t have to, say, remove his ogre side to fit in.

(Wait is that the plot of the second movie??)

And it’s also why his relationships with Donkey and Fiona, who accept him for who he is, is very important for both him and the story.

And I really liked these two characters in particular. MUCH more than I thought I would going in.

Except eating birds eggs. That’s a big no no.

Donkey, I suppose, fits the ‘comedic sidekick’ role, and I was prepared to be extremely annoyed by him throughout the movie…

…what I got instead was a very wholesomely pure character that was vital to the story. Yeah he’s a loudmouth, but he has by far the best heart in the movie and such an amazing friend to Shrek. Even when Shrek snaps at Donkey for a misunderstanding, he never blames Shrek for anything and remains emotionally supportive and open to listening to Shrek. It’s a friendship I completely bought from beginning to end.

I also completely bought the love story from beginning to end. The main character literally wiping his ass with the notion of true love only to find said true love? Irony at its peak.

And I will say that after watching this movie fully for the first time, I am a Fiona STAN.

I knew the twist with her being an ogre even before I watched the movie, so no surprise there. Again, I’ve been spoiled to death of this movie. What I wasn’t expecting was how well it was used as a thematic purpose to parallel Shrek.

This is something she can’t control. There is nothing she can do about it. Shrek can’t either cause he was born an ogre, but they’re both in the similar situation. In Fiona’s case however, she lies about it. She hides it. She masks herself to fit the society norm of a princess because that is what she’s supposed to be.

And being locked in a tower for god knows how long with no social contact? Of course she’d think no one would love that side of her. All she has to go off of is fairy tale logic, which is why she speaks in Old English at her debut scene.

Kinda wish they kept that part as a running thing for her, cause they kinda drop it after the rescue. That’s a nitpick though.

But after hearing Shrek having experiences that are relatable to her fears, she opens up far more to her real personality, which Shrek falls for. She’s crude, she’s cynical, she has no problem getting her hands dirty, she can kick ass without much issue. That’s another thing I like. She played the traditional damsel in distress at the tower, but it was clear it was just a gig for her and she could’ve escaped if she wanted. But it’s her willing choice to go to Farquad after the misunderstanding, and Shrek isn’t saving her physically at the wedding, he’s saving her mentally.

That was a nice subversion of the trope.

I also LOVE that she stays an ogre at the end and that’s her ‘beauty’. Cause despite not being born an ogre, it IS her. It’s genuinely very beautiful.

“Man, gotta love ogre, one of my favorite genders”

Idk how much of a hot take this is, but she’s prettier as an ogre than she is as a human. I said it.

I’m not one of those people that love romanticizing obesity, as it is a genuine health concern that be damaging to one’s life. But there is a good line between that and just having a body type that is more plus sized than others. And that’s okay. Especially if there’s nothing that can be done in some cases. I cannot speak for the plus sized women that watched this movie, but I hope it really touched them in a positive way and made them appreciate themselves more.

And to this day, Disney hasn’t made a princess with a chubbier body type. But if they ever do we all get to claim that Fiona was the first.

…and also that Red Shoes movie that’s pretty good and also did body positivity well.

Shrek’s bond with both of these characters is the heart of the movie, at least for me. It’s genuinely so touching to watch a guy who got isolated for so long be able to open up again to people who can love and care for him for who he is. Maybe it’s not the best version of this story in the world, but it’s still a well told one.

And, uh… idk how controversial it is… I like the pop music in this movie.

Nowadays its overdone and serves no purpose besides advertisement and songwriters getting a paycheck, but in this movie it serves a genuine narrative purpose and the movie would be worse without it.

It’s SHREK’s style of music. It’s HIS narrative being narrated not in a traditional fairy tale way, but by his playlist.

Every other character in the movie tries to sing traditionally like a Disney Movie. Donkey tries a lot and Shrek keeps stopping him. Fiona sings and kills a bird with her voice. (Yeah the mockery of Disney is strong here) Shrek meanwhile doesn’t give a damn about his reputation.

(I’m sorry)

And it really works for the ending after everyone else is singing the song ‘I’m a Believer’ together at Shrek and Fiona’s wedding. They join in on Shrek’s style of music because they have grown a sense of acceptance of Shrek.

(At least I think they did)

So yeah, good movie with some rough edges to it. I honestly wish I loved it more than I did. But I’m glad I didn’t hate it. At least I am now scarred by a dragon sexually harassing people.

And according to the nomination list, I will be required to watch the second movie and both of the spin-off movies.

Anyway, that's it for this movie and this concludes all the 2001 Oscar Nominated Movies For Best Animated Feature. I'll make a post where we come to our own conclusions on our opinions on the win and what movie we think should've won instead.

[designernishiki]

I saw your post where you said something like «Kiryu and Mayumi slept in the same bed for six months» and... I kina doubt it. This bed is too small for two people, it hardly accommodates Kiryu, given his size. So she was probably either sleeping on the floor or sleeping somewhere else.

For some reason I always thought that she didn't live with him at all, just came there from time to time. If you look at the apartment where Kiryu lives, you can see that there are only his things there and no other things. And I don't remember exactly, but Mayumi's profile at the beginning of the game says something like «she's disappointed that their relationship won't get off the ground» or something like that. So, yes, the poor girl was desperate for him while he was in his le gay depression phase.

okay so I was waiting to answer this until I started legit playing 5 so I could have a bit more context and whatnot and now I have done that and hdhxjcjdjv boy do I have a lot of thoughts. warning: this is kinda long.

so I can clarify now that– yeah– they weren’t actually living together technically, she would just come over a lot and spend the night there regardless of his opinion on it (which typically was “you should go home” or “you should stay at your own place for once” no im not just being mean, those are both almost word-for-word). she does have slippers there by the door that denote she’s there often, but his apartment’s pretty barren overall, which to me says less about her being around or not, and more about him probably only going home when he needs to sleep or runs out of things to do, not hanging around there much otherwise– he’s got no books, no radio, nothing. just an ashtray on the table. It’s safe to say it’s not a place he enjoys being in.

And yeah, it’s bizarre how many people say “kiryu had a girlfriend for six months” despite her profile and kiryu himself in dialogue stating… kind of the opposite? ie; that they were not a couple, kiryu was disinterested in her, and their lack of a relationship/kiryu’s lack of interest was frustrating to her. She was never his girlfriend despite her giving her all to get him to budge, and that’s kind of an important part of the dynamic.

(here’s her character profile for reference.)

As for the bed thing… honestly I’ve got no idea how that worked. cause you’re totally right, that bed is SMALL– relatively small for kiryu alone let alone two people, and she wasn’t legit living there so obviously she didn’t have her own room or anything. so my bet’s either that there was a futon that could be rolled out, since that’s pretty common in japan, or that she slept kinda cuddled up close to him and he just sort of laid there stiffly not really sure what to do about it– probably wearing him down with the good ol “well there’s only one bed and I wouldn’t want either of us to have to sleep on the floor…” one night, and she took that and ran with it from then on. either way, also of note, whenever she was around (or could show up at any time) he wore a full sweatsuit, even while in bed. yeah you could blame it on it being winter and all, but come on man who he hell wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants to bed. I think he was just genuinely uncomfortable with the idea of being unclothed in close quarters with her.

it seems like he wasn’t sleeping much in the first place anyway, so I don’t doubt he’d end up slipping away and falling asleep either on the floor or at the table or whatever at times. we know he’s not a big fan of being touched and cuddled or whatever when he doesn’t want it/by almost anyone, so I think it’d just be an ongoing losing battle between not wanting to be too harsh or rude, and preserving his own comfort and boundaries. as an autistic guy who’s particular about his sleeping conditions and necessary privacy myself, it kind of sounds like a nightmare not gonna lie.

anywho. I don’t wanna sound too negative towards mayumi as a character or anything, but it’s pretty straightforward that she was imposing on him quite a bit and did go beyond his boundaries at a time when he was especially emotionally vulnerable– and he let her in because she was in a place of vulnerability, at least so he thought. there’s plot reasons for her persistence in being there to an extent, and maybe that’s why she didn’t take the very very obvious hint that he was not interested in her and not just playing hard to get (is it really a hint when he tells her directly to her face? whatever you get it)

[cosmousee]

Hi there can I ask for a reading? How will My future spouse court me? I am interested in men and my pronouns are she/her

Mg 🖤

Hey Mg🖤

Thank you for asking!

Onto your reading~

The oracle cards that came for you are:

Molasses: To move forward you must know where you are headed.

Tobacco: Feed your ancestors, raise the sacred smoke to them, for they are hungry to connect.

Now, ofcourse the meaning of the cards isn't taken literally BUT the molasses card sort of signifies a stagnant time in your life where spirit is telling you to sort of take a step in some direction ANY direction. I know you asked how he'll court you but I guess cards have given me the circumstances you'll be in when he courts you. There is a lil hint in the tarot cards I'll come to that in a second but yeah, the courting is a surprise for you🥰

Okay coming back to the cards, it might be like you've been sitting for a while, maybe hermiting even. Maybe once you step out of it then you two may meet.

BUT,

Wait for it.

There might be some sort of family celebration which will pull you out of the stagnation. Family celebration came for the ancestor card and yes it might talk about the ones in the spirit world but it definitely feels like you have some sort of a family celebration, and if I want to take the ancestor in consideration it might be a grandparent's birthday or anniversary and ya know thats a significant milestone and it's a big ass celebration. And these are the sort of parties where you see a cute guy who's a distant relative or a family friend or maybe just some random guy at the party and think "Oh he's cute, wonder if I'll see him again after this."

WELL looks like you'll be seeing alot of him. And I mean. A lot.

Let's clear this up with tarot cards~

8 of wands, 4 of wands, 9 of wands, Knight of Pentacles, The Devil, Ace of Cups, The Lovers, The Tower

This is so new I absolutely love it!!

[Okay so a lil background, I once asked my cards what I should manifest and they gave the 8 of wands and....they basically meant....you know adult stuff. So now by default I take the card as adult stuff.]

You both might feel that sexual tension when you see each other or are close to each other.

And I felt a celebration is there which I believe got clarified by the 4 of wands. You might feel a bit skeptical about this, because you know, you guys just met and the sexual tension is off the charts with the Devil here.

I think you being skeptical isn't gonna last all that long with the charming persona of your person🤭 with the Knight of pentacles I feel he is not really beating around the bush and he's being very upfront about everything but in a very, um sorta charming and elegant manner. I completely forgot to mention but I just remembered, the whole family celebration thing was giving me heavy Bridgerton vibes.

1:43 on my clock, I take it as an "I love you".

See straightforward, told ya😌

Haha okay moving on, your Prince Charming is very, I can see the vibes but Im having a hard time describing it. It's very regal sorta, very elegant like I mentioned before, he knows what he wants but not in an overly assertive way which would make you feel uncomfortable. He'll be very considerate of you and how you feel so you can take your time being skeptical still if you want~

Love the Ace of Cups and the Lovers here!!!! Hmm he might be very emotionally intelligent as well so you'll have open and direct communication at all times regarding all of your needs, which fits perfectly with the lovers.

The ending is a Tower, which makes me sorta feel like people outside of you are not able to see or understand your dynamics. Considering if all of this happens during the family event then of course your relatives will notice and they might feel a bit concerned for you or even your friends might tell you to be careful considering you just met and sparks flew across galaxies. I hope its all well intended and you'll convince them in no time🥰

That's all I have for you today, thankyou so much for asking. I enjoyed doing your reading🎀

[e17omm]

Playing GI Natlan ACt 3, gonna put my thoughts down below. I write as I play so I dont forget things, but they're all in sequence.

animations are still incredibly stiff and robotic. Good to see that hasnt improved at all.

still a lot of chatter and filler and empty moments but its not that bad so far.

Granny Ive never met this Ororon kid, but I guess thats just her personality.

you know what's a forgotten thing? Elemental Sight.

What this? Am I getting my hopes up that anything different will happen this Archon Quest? Or will we completely antagonise the Fatui without hearing them out again?

"I will explain my goals and motivations to you. I dont believe you should blindly be helping the Pyro Archon" THANK YOU. We've been blindly helping people for so long while completely not listening to what the other side wants. The side that, you know, says they want to bring down Celestia, the place that has the Unknown God, the reason we are stuck in here? Similarly, isnt that also the Abyss Order's goal? The one our sibling seems to be leading? WHY ARE WE NOT EVEN TRYING TO LISTEN TO THEM?!

Well we told Paimon, there goes my hope of hearing the Traveler speaking...

We cant have a fucking conversation with the Fatui. No no, we gotta talk to the Archons! Why did I get my hopes up...

oh yeah pick what you want - the story to get interesting and progress and possibly have some uniqueness from the rest of the nations, or see granny get drunk. IM NOT DOING HER FUCKING CHARACTER QUEST.

I dont mind if we get to know characters in the main story, but why are we comforting granny and watching her ramble while drunk and all this when THERE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. Oh and of course the classic "we dont know what the fatui want but instead of listening to them fully we go and spill to the archon!". I dont like this writing. Its been so similar for 4 years.

Thank god we learned some priority from the first act of Natlan.

holy fucking shit how did that stealth sequence make it into the script? Did we really need to see it step by step with all the waiting for the opertunity to move undetected? THAT DID NOT NEED TO BE FOUR MINUTES. ITS COMPLETELY SCRIPTED. I DIDNT MOVE AT ALL. ITS FOUR MINUTES OF "gotta sneak here, gotta wait here, gotta sneak now, gotta wait now" WHY WAS THIS FOUR MINUTES LONG?!?! It could have been 1 minute at most and still captured their teamwork! Oh and of course they cant animate her running up the trees so they just did it in first person before instant transmissioning into the premade animations. This shouldnt have taken up as much time as it did. In isolation, fine, whatever, but boy does Hoyo like taking their sweet time just panning and having silence and dragging things out.

.................................................................................................................................................................... That was just all setup.

The quest could have ended an hour sooner if granny didnt interupt our meeting with the Captain.

Is there more? did act 4 come with this?

OKAY ACT 4 DID SHIP WITH THIS.

Phew thank fucking god. I put my controller down as soon as "act 3 finished" popped up. That act spent so much time accomplishing nothing. That should have been a granny and chiha character quest, like back in Inazuma where you have to do character quests before continuing the archon quest.

That was the content of Natlan Act 3. Its 95% character quests that has to happen in this timeframe, and 5% actual plot progression.

Those character quests could have been in 5.0 and left us off with going to Mauvika to tell her about the Captain's plan.

Okay but, Act 3 was character quest filler, im gonna make another one of these for Act 4, and I am going to scream if the plot isnt moving forward after this.

... I should probably clarify that I didnt find act 3 inherently bad, its just character quests for the majority of it and I dont think it fits as an Archon Quest.

Also I enjoy the Captain's character a lot. Fucking finally the Fatui is potrayed as something other than scheming evil schemes and a threat to everyone and not to be trusted for a single word.

[domjaehyun]

i couldn’t resist and i know you deserve it so i subscribed to patreon and finished tbim in one sitting at work 🙂‍↕️ (+bonus part!!! 💗)

can i just say it again but you’re really my favorite nct author here 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ the last parts were intense and i just wanna say…. DESERVE 🫳🏼 i don’t wanna spoil other people but i guess it justified the ending (although of course what they did is still wrong WRONG) but it was the best decision for all, instead of prolonging the pain and situation.

honestly, i felt bad for all of them. they all deserve so much better. the four of them deserves to love and be loved. it’s just that the circumstances were not in their favor and they were entangled with each other’s poor decisions. the most painful here would be oc and wn’s relationship though, friendship breakups are the worst cuz i hoped oc would be a girl’s girl (i know she tried but she didn’t try enough! hahaha)

it was also nice to see hc’s side in the bonus part. i know he’s the main problem here and i don’t want to justify what he did but yeah, i get where he’s coming from. it’s really hard to push yourself to love someone when you genuinely don’t feel anything about them at all even if you tried. but i guess he could’ve handled the situation better, well that’s his character though. sometimes he just doesn’t think. 😓

overall, you wrote tbim in a very beautiful way. love how you portrayed all the characters and their dilemmas in a way that got me thinking what would i do in a similar situation. we’re all humans and we make mistakes but morals should be above always. (i’m still into hyuck tho lmaooo) i’ll be adding this to my fave hc library! 🩵 thank you for writing 🙏🏼

ps. i love all your haechan fics 🫂💗 thank you for your service!!!!!! i will miss tbim ☹️ (i’ll reread again and still wait for the next parts here tho lmao) ugh i’ll miss sending my reactions here but i prolly would send more in the future 😆

EEEEEE OMG OKAY HERE I GO

firstly; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUBBING IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME :’) ONE SITTING IS IMPRESSIVE I LOVE THAT FOR YOU OMG

omg…….pookie………. that’s so sweet thank you so much and yeah i tried to make the ending as realistic as possible while eliminating unnecessary mess yknow? TBH? I FEEL WORSE FOR JENO HE DIDN’T DESERVE THAT……. winter was lowkey inconsiderate and had a hand in haechan pulling back and MC messed around with him knowing he had a girlfriend (that was her friend no less) BUT JENO DID NOTHING WRONG JUSTICE FOR JENO!!!!!!!

I’M GLAD YOU APPRECIATED THE BONUS CONTENT OMG yeah i really wanted to clarify why he didn’t leave her from the jump bc tbh i myself did not understand this was one of those instances where i just blanked out and started typing and the answers started coming out and i was like OHHHHHHH OKAY I GET IT NOW. it rly is hard to do that i have tried and failed :/ multiple times actually :/

thank you so much omg IM SO HAPPY YOU THINK IT’S BEAUTIFUL :’) im not gonna lie to you…….im gonna keep it a buck…………….. i don’t think my morals are all that strong about some things . LIKE A LIL BIT DON’T CANCEL ME BUT I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST SOMETIMES 😭 maybe i am selfish but ykw i dont care :/ if i dont look out for me who will 🤨 anyway moving on hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH youre very welcome for writing it !!! it was my pleasure :)

p.s. thank you hehehe i love haechan if that wasnt obvious :P YOU CAN ALWAYS SEND YOUR REACTIONS I LOVE READING PEOPLE’S FEEDBACK it fuels me to write more :D

[elkkiel]

Same anon, thank you for clarifying! I know booktok gets a lot of hate for "romanticizing abuse" so when i see booktok hate im like.. is this unfair demonization of women for daring to like things that arent "pure"/thinking women are too dumb to know the abuse fantasies arent okay in real life/saying it will teach kids who arent old enough to read it to begin with that abuse is okay OR is it actual fair criticism because yeah the discourse gets really intense about non-issues and honestly becomes downright misogynistic. Frankly if you like 50 Shades or whatever the most fucked up fantasy you can think of is (even stuff that would be harmful paraphilias in real life tbh) BUT recognize its bad in real life and keep it purely in fiction/consensual roleplay then you do you im much more concerned about real life abuse. I know thats Controversial and all but id rather direct my anger towards things that will actually prevent abuse/help survivors and know getting mad at fiction oftentimes just hurts survivors who use it to cope with trauma

Absolutely! And even then, when I say I "hate" booktok, it's more so just criticism (and personal distaste based on my own trauma/relationship experiences) rather than actual vitriol. At the end of the day, it's just horny people doing horny things and it's really none of my business what people are into. I think booktok can perpetuates harmful rhetoric about sexual and gender roles, BUT in the same breath I think your point about demonizing women's interests is important too.

You can't do shit as a woman, especially in regards to sexuality. If you like straight vanilla erotica, you're boring and basic. But if you're into more "intense" fantasy, you're brainwashed 100% of the time and you don't actually know what you want. While I personally believe that the booktok crit is warranted, it's also unfair to say that every booktok enjoyer is stuck in some forced submission tradwife fantasy just waiting to be abused for love. It's similar rhetoric to "she should have known better" or "she really wants it deep down" and that's gross to make that blanket assumption.

It's one thing to get your rocks off to mediocre smut with questionable kink etiquette (again, side-eyeing 50 Shades as an example of the potentially harmful depiction of kink). It's another to then bring those ideas into real world practices where someone could get hurt. When we talk about things like this, it's really important to keep it in perspective and focus on the actual potential harm. Y'know, rather than demonizing the people consuming this kind of content. AND to mind your own business re: ykinmkato / how people can positively interact with that kind of media to cope/heal.

tl;dr a lot of the common romance tropes in spicy booktok can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and expectations surrounding love and sexuality. however, I'm not gonna yuck your yum as long as you're being safe in real life.

and really, as a major omegaverse enjoyer, I'd be a little hypocritical if I totally denounced shitty alpha male romances as inherently bad or dangerous lol. can they get toxic? absolutely. BUT it's also a fantasy that can be really fun and enjoyable if kept in a fantasy perspective.

[woahajimes]

the batfamily is stupid as hell and they're self isolating because SOMEBODY got covid (steph) and then SOMEBODY (cass-- who also has covid bc uh stephcass) sneezed on tim who drank from jason's cup without knowing it was jason's cup and anyways everyone in the manor got covid so ✨self isolation for 2 weeks✨

ANYHOW they were all bored out of their minds and jason was about to throw damian out the window bc siblings right

SO BASICALLY cass came up with the big brain idea of a competition (prize being complete immunization of sibling interaction UNLESS they ask for it-- eg. "hey can you open this for me")

teams were made (just two people per team-- duke/damian, jason/cass, steph/harper, dick/tim)

there were "rounds" and these consisted of

round 1: person a has to feed person b a whole jar of peanut butter and they could switch places ONCE (team to finish last was disqualified)

round 2: they had to recreate this picture and had ten minutes to do so, at the end every team compared pictures and alfred decided whose was the worst and that team was out

round 3: they had to run five laps around the manor with their team member on their back, first person to get through the finish line (for the fifth time, there was a picture taken each time they crossed it) won.

simple, right?

WELL NO

first round basically went like this:

jason: NO FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID PEANUT BUTTER cass: jason: okay okay ill go first

tim went first, harper went first, and duke went first (duke didn't want to go first but he lost to rock paper scissors so)

tim puked in the first two minutes but alfred had forgotten to clarify that if you puke you're out so basically he kept eating

cass and jason were the first ones to switch

dick and tim switched immediately after (they were waiting for someone else to switch)

steph and harper fucking DIED

"im never eating peanut butter after this"

"by GOD EAT FASTER ITS NOT EVEN A SOLID"

"CAN YOU NOT SHOVE THAT SPOON DOWN MY THROAT"

"IM NOT GOING TO LOSE IN THE FIRST ROUND FUCK YOU"

duke and damian finished first and when ppl asked how (they're the youngest ones, people were sure they couldn't handle it) damian was like "i simply moved all my internal organs to the side" and duke was like "tf you literally ate two spoons and a half"

STEPH AND HARPER LOST and tim laughed (his team got to the next round by literally a second) so harper and steph both threw him the containers and spoons

second round:

tim thought he had a big brain for calling dibs on being on the pool mat but nOOO (duke was on the pool mat, damian was the lightest so yeah--- jason was on the pool mat solely because cass called dibs on jumping and crushing him-- imagine all the chaos)

literally they(jason/cass) took 14 pictures total and all of them were fucked up because of jason (his hands weren’t in the right place, both his legs were picked up)

duke and damian couldn’t do it skjdfhskfh they were D Y I N G (every two minutes you heard a really loud scream/groan with a sudden splat and yeah)

steph and harper had never laughed harder

cass was so done with jason she literally shoved him off the pool mat

tim was literally dead they had taken the shot around 20 times and none of them looked good it was horrible (dick didnt even apologize for crushing tim 90934757894 times -- not every shot was decent so they deleted around 40)

when the timer went off, alfred carefully took all the phones (jason’s phone was somehow at the bottom of the pool and jason was tired(tm) so he asked cass to get the phone pls and cass just got in the pool and shoved the pool mat over (and then got out)

after around 20 minutes of alfred going through the pictures, he decided that the best ones were dick and tim’s (how i have zero idea but)

and then the worst ones were duke and damian’s (so jason and cass made it to the third round)

cass asked alfred why theirs weren’t the best, and alfred said “well master jason’s arm looks very off and he looks genuinely scared” and cass was like “GODDAMNIT JASON” and lost her shit 

LAST ROUND: 

so they did think this through and basically cass on jason’s back and tim on dick’s back

jason: HA! YOU’RE NOT FASTER THAN I AM! dick: i don’t need to be??? you’ve got CASS on your back. you know what that means? jason: .... you wouldn’t.. tim, on dick’s back: *snorts* YEAH OKAY

cass: what are they talking about?  jason: NO NOTHING jason: you might want earbuds or something to like... block the sounds... they’re gonna be wanting to distract you cass: yeah well. I’m not distracted easily

the timer goes off, tim on dick’s back, and they’re pretty even for the first two laps, but then tim’s shoe falls off and tim’s like “WAIT MY SHOE” and dick goes “WHAT THE FUCK” 

and tim is like “whoa youre right KEEP RUNNING” 

cass on jason’s back: HEY STEPH CAN YOU PASS ME THE PRETZELS

update: cass does get pretzels and gives jason a few  jason: CASS THATS MY NOSE cass: OH OOPS LOL

dick: tim i think its time to pull out our secret weapon tim: yeah you’re right tim: tim: HEY CASS *starts humming to ‘levitating’ by dua lipa* tim: 🎶 if you wanna run away with me-  🎶

jason: NO  jason: NOOO CASS COVER YOUR EARS DONT LISTEN TO THEM cass:  🎶 IF YOU WANNA RUN AWAY WITH ME I KNOW A GALAXY WHERE I COULD TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE  🎶

(you may ask how this distracts jason but it just DOES)

dick takes this as a head start and runs faster (theyre on their third lap now- both)

tim gets a bit too excited and leans too much and makes them both fall over (they were abt half a lap ahead)

tim: GET UP GET UP dick: THIS IS YOUR FAULT TF YOU MEAN 

cass:  🎶 YOU WANT ME  🎶 jason:  🎶 I WANT YOU BABY  🎶  *runs past them*  dick: HOW jason: JUST DONT FIGHT IT 

karma’s a bitch (and dick paid steph) and jason slipped, causing them to fall almost the exact way that tim and dick fell

dick and tim have now caught up to them, as jason and cass pick themselves up

jason: we should switch cass: yeah alright do you want me to momentarily kill you so we can distract the others and then you wake up and we run jason: ...no cass:  jason: ... maybe

*two seconds later*

cass: HE’S DEAD! MY POOR BROTHER HE’S DEAD! steph: YEAH WE KNOW YOU MOMENTARILY KILLED HIM GET UP cass: ok jason lets go stand up 

they keep going and dick stops for a second (theyre ahead)  dick: hey its your turn now tim:  dick: yeah i know you cant cmon climb on

COMEPLETE HEADCANON jason and cass won anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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[from-a-reckless-writer]

so, i want the superfrens taking shifts at sleeping with kara in the tower after rescuing her from the phantom zone. and lena being all skittish and nervous about her shift. 

they had to sedate her and keep her under the sunlamps for about a week. and everyone's tired, yes, but they're not gonna leave kara all alone sleeping in that bed. 

she's been alone long enough. 

and also, there's the issue of nightmares. it was alex who discovered it first. sleeping with kara on her first night back when her little sister suddenly woke up, screaming, shaking and feral. 

so yeah, they can't leave kara all alone. on the third night, it was lena who gets the shift. and she's still not really sure where they stand, but kara hugged her right after getting through the portal, realizing she was finally home and she’s finally saved. so maybe, maybe--lena hopes--they'll be fine. 

of course, lena being lena she would refuse to sleep beside kara on the bed, preferring the chair instead. she's also decided, that tonight she isn't going to sleep. she's going to stay up all night watching over kara. (but kara doesn't need to know that.) kara would kill her if she knew lena had yet again missed another good night’s sleep in favor of taking care of her. 

and so, here they were, lena in her chair with her work tablet propped up. not that she’s doing anything productive done, considering she’s been staring at kara’s sleeping form for about an hour now. she can’t help it. there was something about watching kara slowly breathe that makes lena’s heart beat more calmly. the knowledge that kara is here and alive and breathing and safe, is doing wonders for her heart. she wishes she can touch her hair and press her lips to kara’s temple. 

but then-- 

kara starts to shift and whimper, tears flowing from closed eyes. sleep muffled sounds getting more and more distressed until kara starts to slur, “no, no, please, no, not her, no, stop not her-- away, get away, no stop! please stop!!”

lena is off the chair in an instant, she knows about the nightmares of course, alex had told them. briefed them on how to deal with it. her hand is gently trying to shake her best friend awake, when kara jerks violently, screams, “LENA! NO! STOP NO!” 

lena feels her heart drop. and this time, kara opens her eyes, she jerks away from lena’s hands, breathing hard, eyes wild and full of fear. 

“hey, hey, kara, look at me, i’m here. look at me, i’m here,” she says calmly, trying to meet kara’s eyes. 

“i-im gonna put my arms around you, okay? is that okay? kara, listen to me, i need you to listen to my voice, okay?”

kara tries to nod, still shaking, “okay, okay good, listen to my voice okay? we’re going to breathe together.” lena instructs softly and wraps both arms on shaking shoulders. kara feels so small and fragile in her arms like this. lena’s heart breaks.

“you’re safe, you’re home, i’m here, it was just a dream, breathe with me okay? we’re going to count our breaths okay?”

she wraps around kara tighter and together they try to get kara’s breathing under control. 

after about 15 minutes of lena counting and whispering reassurances, kara’s breathing settles and her tense shoulders sag against lena’s.

she’s fitted herself carefully into kara’s side, heels abandoned on the floor under the medbed. 

“th-thank you, lena.”

she hears kara whisper against her neck, and lena can only squeeze her tighter in response. she doesn’t know how to do this, how to work in the aftermath of that nightmare, namely how to address the fact that kara has nightmares about her apparently. 

it shouldn’t really surprise her all that much, not when lena had the same problem, not when she’s had nightmares about kara for the first two weeks of her disappearance. 

come to think of it, if there’s anybody who can address this properly and relate to kara, it should be her.

but she’s stuck there, arms frozen and tongue silent. 

“do you want to talk about it? would that make you feel better?” she tries, this is what normal people do right? this is the mandatory thing to say?

“i don’t know...”

kara answers shakily. and lena would never push her to talk about something that makes her uncomfortable so she nods and presses a kiss to the crown of kara’s head.

“okay, okay, would you like to try to sleep again?”

“uhm uh yes, but lena-”

kara trails off and lena waits but two beats pass and kara remains silent so lena forces herself to ask.

“but??? what is it, kara? you can tell me.”

“can you- will you stay here? with me? in the bed? i just- you don’t have to it’s stupid-”

“okay.” lena answers softly, “it’s not stupid, of course i’ll stay with you here. i care about you, kara. of course i’ll stay.”

and that’s the closest she can get to admitting her own feelings. 

kara lets her go after that and they try to fit themselves in the single bed. trying to find a position comfortable enough for the both of them without lena falling off the side of the bed.

in the end they settle with kara’s head on her chest--whispering that lena’s heartbeat helps--and lena’s arms holding her safely.

“i- they were going to take you away- in the dream, i mean.”

“kara, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to-” lena is quick to assure, she really doesn’t need to hear it not if it would only stress kara further. 

“no, m’want to,” kara insists, “need to,” she clarifies. 

“okay, okay, tell me.”

lena feels kara take another shaky breath in preparation

“it’s always the same,” she begins, words trembling.

“you come for me in the phantom zone and then and then they attack you and i’m always powerless to stop it and-” kara chokes up and lena feels her tears soak through her shirt and unto her skin. it feels like her tears are dripping down straight into lena’s heart and drowning it. 

“shh, i’m here, i’m here, kara. they didn’t take me away, i’m safe.” she whispers and squeezes kara, they’re pressed up against each other but lena feels like it’s not enough. wants to mould herself even closer to kara, bind their very molecules together if she could. 

“i’m so scared, lena. always so scared. that i wasn’t going to see you again. that i was going to lose you. i can’t lose you, lena. i can’t not you, please. not you.”

the confession hits lena so hard and it makes her want to say the same. me too, i’m scared too, kara. always so fucking scared that i’m not gonna see you again and i didn’t even tell you i love you. 

“you won’t lose me. you’re never going to lose me,” she says instead and she feels kara sniffle against her. 

“promise?”

“i promise.”

[joyaphoria]

with the flowers (6)

part six: the world be damned.

pairing: suna x f!reader

summary: if a teacher had been the one to catch suna dangling on the edge of inarizaki’s roof, he definitely would’ve been in trouble. except it wasn’t a teacher that caught him, it was you—the school whore. yea, he’s starting to wish it was a teacher.

word count: 826

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢

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‘okay, maybe im not getting a sob story,’ suna thinks, taking in the state of the home you invited him to.

it looks just like his.

he’d never admit it (frankly because that would just be rude), but he assumed that you were poor.

like, drowning-in-debt poor, house-falling-apart poor, etc.

and yeah, he gets how snobby that makes him sound, but could you really blame him?

“you’re here!” the front door is swung open and you’re there, smile brighter than ever. “oh, and you brought—wait, is that your sister?”

aiko—suna’s younger sister—offers up a cheeky smile, letting go of her brothers arm. “my parents aren’t home right now, they thought i should bring her.”

you pat her head, moving aside to let them in. “don’t even worry about it, i have a little sister you can play with!” you offer her your hand, and she hesitantly takes it.

aiko was more of a narcissistic bitch than she let on, but because suna had never had any female friends before (and he refused to take her along to any of his other friends’ houses), there was no one to really witness her swollen ego except for him.

“hanakooo!” you yell, while suna looks around.

yeah, he’s definitely not getting a sob story.

“this is aiko and suna.” you introduce them, and they bow respectfully. “look after aiko for me, okay?”

your sister nods, ushering the next girl up the stairs.

“how old is your sister?” suna asks, following you as you make your way to what he assumes is the kitchen.

“fourteen.” you say, tossing him a bottle of water. “same as yours?” 

he nods, and follows you up the stairs.

-

you laugh again, so hard that you think you might throw up. suna watches you, trying his best not to laugh too.

a soft “ah,” is let out, and it’s quiet again.

“why do you do it?” suna asks out of the blue, his back on your bed and his feet on the carpet, launching one of your stuffed toys into the air and catching it.

“if you’re gonna ask a random question like that, i’m gonna need a little context, pretty boy.” you tease, jumping onto your bed and causing him to nearly fall off.

you sit criss-crossed, and suna takes the initiative to copy you. “’donate pussy for money’” he clarifies, mocking your past statement. “why do you do it?”

“why do you ask?”

“well i mean, you live in a perfectly stable house, your parents both have jobs, you have food, i don’t get why.”

he watches as you burst into yet another fit of laughter, holding onto your stomach as if you were in pain.

“i dont have a dad.” you nudge him. “my dad committed suicide when he was seventeen, you know, jumped off of inarizaki’s roof.”

suna frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “that isn’t funny.”

“oh come on, you know it is.” you smirk. “i wasn’t joking though, he really did commit. he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof, but yea, he committed.”

if anything, suna’s confused.

you’re talking about the fact that your dad had taken his own life, and yet you’re still cracking jokes.

“you look ugly when ur serious.” you admit, squishing his cheeks together. “ease up a lil.”

“straightforward much?” he licks the hand closest to his mouth, and you shriek, yanking your hands away.

“i’m just saying!” you giggle, wiping your hand on his shirt. “it was way before i was born anyways.” you admit.

“wait, but if he committed before you were born, then hanako—”

“has a different dad, but he took off a long time ago.”

in suna’s book, he would definitely list this one as a sob story—except you weren’t sobbing. you weren’t begging for sympathy, for pity, or for him to understand the meaning behind your actions.

you did what you had to do, the world be damned.

suna admires you for that, something he himself isn’t able to do. he wishes he could do that, be like you.

(it’s not as easy as he thinks.)

“i do this for her, you know?” you say, once you’ve both ended up laying side by side on your bed. “for hanako. i wanna send her to a really nice college.”

“does your mom know?” suna asks, counting the little glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. “like about any of it.”

“nope, i never take the guys home.” you respond.

“why hooking though? aren’t there better and safer options?”

“you mean like working as a cashier?”

“yeah.”

it’s quiet again, and suna has to look over at you to make sure you aren’t asleep.

“you’re probably right.” you shrug. “i guess i just like the attention; i like that people like my body, you know? it’s one of my best traits.”

he’s never met anyone with the same mindset as you.

(he can’t figure out wether or not he’s intrigued or disgusted—probably both.)

notes:

—  when y/n’s dad found out that her mom was preggo, he commited

—  so he’s never actually met y/n

—  hanako is y/n’s half sister, but it’s all the same 

—  aiko and hanako are besties now <3

taglist: @hotaruaizawa @its-the-aerieljeane @yourlocalbabybird @bakudummy @sunahyejin @satorinnie @lilith412426 @zukoslosthishonor @rintarovibes​​ @underiwa @m01k @rinsangel @iicherrycore @kamalymaly @lmaosuna @whorefornoodles @anngelllla @ohrintarou @call-me-lulu @imeowforu @tsuksdinonugget @namyari​ @bakugouswh0r3​

[cheapthrillsbeca]

54 ☺️

54. “I wanna marry you.” “We’ve only been together for two months. And you’re drunk.”

made this one part of the railroad apartment fic verse alskdjflaskjd

Beca [11:33 p.m.]: clhoeee

Beca [11:33 p.m.]: I just saw this girl in a that same white dress you have

Beca [11:33 p.m.]: you know the one that’s like cute and short adn lacy

Beca [11:33 p.m.]: and i got sad bc you’re not here 😢

Beca [11:33 p.m.]: are you still at work?

Chloe [11:35 p.m.]: hi drunkie 😘

Chloe [11:35 p.m.]: It’s almost midnight, so no, I’m not still at work lol. I managed to get out of there around 8

Chloe [11:35 p.m.]: and I do know that dress. But I didn’t know you liked it so much. I’ll have to remember that 😉

Beca [11:35 p.m.]: I pretty much love all of your dresses 👀👀👀

Beca [11:35 p.m.]: and glad you didn’t have to work as late as you thought. but u shouldve met us out!!

Beca [11:35 p.m.]: you know everyone likes you more than me. they’re all whining about my “””wifey”””” not being here

Chloe [11:36 p.m.]: lmao

Chloe [11:36 p.m.]: I wish I was there! But by the time I cooked dinner, ate, and showered it was 9:30 and I was too sleepy 

Beca [11:36 p.m.]: ok i forgive yuo

Beca [11:36 p.m.]: what’d you make for din?

Chloe [11:36 p.m.]: your fav -- baked mac and cheese

Chloe [11:36 p.m.]:  there’s a bowl for you in the fridge, ready to microwave when you get in

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: 🎉🎉🎉😄🤤🤤😋😋😋😋

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: chlooooo

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: ugh i love you sm

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: like so so much

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: ilke

Beca [11:37 p.m.]: i wanna marry you

Chloe [11:38 p.m.]: hahah 😊😂

Chloe [11:38 p.m.]: I love you too becs

Chloe [11:38 p.m.]: but it might be a little soon for a proposal

Chloe [11:38 p.m.]: We’ve only been together for two months

Chloe [11:38 p.m.]: and you’re drunk

Beca [11:40 p.m.]: pffffffft doesnt matter

Beca [11:40 p.m.]: im gonna marry u chleo beale

Beca [11:40 p.m.]: gonna marry you so hrd

Chloe [11:41 p.m.]: hahaha babyyy

Chloe [11:41 p.m.]: you’re too much

Chloe [11:41 p.m.]: only you would turn marriage into an act of aggression 

Beca [11:41 p.m.]: 😡😡😡

Beca [11:41 p.m.]: laugh all you want

Beca [11:41 p.m.]: but one day you’ll see

Beca [11:41 p.m.]: youll. See.

Beca [11:41 p.m.]: oh i’m gonna share an Uber with Alicia see you sooooonnnn

Chloe [11:42 p.m.]: YAY!!!

Chloe [11:42 p.m.]: share your trip so I can have your mac & cheese ready when you get home!

***

Beca groans as she rolls over in bed. Her head is killing her and her mouth feels dry as sandpaper.

She winces as she props herself up on her elbows and surveys the room. The bed is empty, save for Bandit, who is curled up by her feet and snoring softly. There’s a glass of ice water and two Advils sitting on her bedside table, and she sits up properly to take the pills before draining the glass.

Last night was… What was last night?

She closes her eyes as she leans back against the headboard, trying to piece the evening together. Happy hour with her coworkers… those stupid flaming shots that Caleb always makes them take… Ubering home with Alicia… eating her weight in macaroni… 

There’s something else she should remember, and she can feel it, nagging and elusive on the tip of her tongue. But before it comes to her she hears the keys in the front door. Bandit practically trips over himself as he leaps off the bed and sprints out of the room to greet his favorite parent.

Beca gets it, though. If her head wasn’t throbbing so much she’d be running out to see Chloe, too.

Luckily Chloe comes straight back to their room, and it’s the most welcome sight Beca has ever seen.

Because she’s carrying two large iced cold brews from Beca’s favorite coffee shop.

“Dude, oh my god,” Beca says as Chloe hands her one of the coffees. “You are a literal angel.”

Part of Beca wants to go on and on about how much she appreciates her, but she has to attend to her more pressing need of getting caffeine into her body. She takes several sips of iced coffee as Chloe climbs back into bed, cuddling up next to Beca. It takes Bandit a couple of running starts, but eventually he makes it back on the bed, too.

“How are you feeling?”

Chloe gently cards her fingers through Beca’s hair before tucking a few strands behind her ear. Her hand comes to a rest on Beca’s shoulder, and she rubs her thumb soothingly along her neck and collarbone. Beca holds her coffee in her lap and closes her eyes, enjoying the sensation.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Much better now.”

“Do you remember last night?” Chloe asks, and Beca hears the smile in her voice.

“I was just trying to work that out.” Beca's head lolls against the headboard as Chloe’s hand skates along her shoulder, massaging just the right spots. “I remember drinking too much and missing you and the Uber ride and eating way too much mac and cheese. Although, that midnight snack probably saved me from an even worse hangover.”

Beca smiles to herself as she remembers stumbling through the front door last night to find Chloe sitting at the kitchen table in her pajamas, waiting for her with a piping hot bowl of macaroni. 

To others -- to Chloe, even -- it might seem like a small gesture. But waiting up for her, cooking her favorite meal, leaving water and painkillers out for her, bringing her iced coffee in bed -- all of those little acts make Beca feel so valued, cared for, and loved.

That’s when she remembers the other thing that happened last night.

“What are you smiling about?” Chloe asks, scratching lightly at the nape of Beca’s neck.

Beca opens her eyes and turns toward her, heart fluttering in her chest.

“I meant it, you know,” she says quietly. “What I said last night. Or, what I texted, I guess.”

Chloe looks at her, brow furrowing for a few seconds before her features smooth in understanding. She runs her hand down Beca’s arm and closes her fingers loosely around her wrist.

“Becs…” she whispers, smiling softly.  

“I mean, not right now,” Beca clarifies. “You were right -- we’ve only technically been together for two months. People would think we’re crazy. Especially your dad. God, I don’t even want to think about the look on his face…”

Chloe giggles and presses her lips to Beca’s shoulder. 

“Besides,” Beca continues. “I want to wait until I make more money. So you can get your dream wedding.”

Chloe exhales sharply, and Beca understands. They’ve been on the subject for a minute or so, but this is the first time she’s uttered a marriage-specific word, and something about saying it outloud makes everything feel more real. 

“Beca,” Chloe whispers, kissing her shoulder again through the fabric of her t-shirt. She releases Beca’s wrist and laces their fingers together.

Beca places her iced coffee on her bedside table. She wipes her free hand on the sheets before cradling Chloe’s cheek. Beca knows her fingers are cold, but Chloe leans into her touch, looking at her with glossy eyes.

“I’m just-- I’m putting you on notice, Beale.” Beca smiles at her, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “It might not be for a little while, but it’s coming. Just you wait.”

Chloe glances up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly, and Beca’s wondering if she said too much too soon when Chloe kisses her. Beca feels her bottom lip trembling against her mouth, and when she pulls away both of their faces are wet with Chloe’s tears. (Okay, some of Beca’s tears, too.)

“Oh, I’ll wait,” Chloe says, sniffling. “I’ll wait so hard.”

[hxneekyuu]

first date || kozume kenma, iwaizumi hajime (f!reader)

request : hi! ☺️ can i request first date headcanons (or a blurb, whichever one!!) with kenma and/or iwa ?? reader can be fem or gn! thank you sm 🥰🥰🥰

warnings : kenma is a big dummy

a/n : yall know i had to throw the seijoh four in there they thrive on chaos

kozume kenma

mans probably doesnt even know its a date im so sorry

when you ask him to get lunch with you, hes just like

yeah sure

but he notices that youve dressed up a little bit and that you seem really nervous when he finally shows up

and suddenly hes like

should i have dressed better?? is this okay?? why is she nervous whats happening im getting nervous now

you guys are friends, what is making you so nervous ?? you eat lunch tg all the time and yet hes never seen that lipstick before,,, or the way you keep pushing your food around but not really eating it 

“why arent you eating?” his voice is soft and vaguely disinterested as always, but hes watching you really closely, waiting for you to tell him whats wrong

when you tell him its nothing, he feels like hes definitely missing something, but when the waitress comes by and mentions how cute you look together hes like 

“oh--”

he puts it tg pretty easily after that 

and now his hands are getting kinda cold which only really happens when hes nervous 

he doesnt know if he wants to ask just to clarify or if he feels really embarrassed about having to ask because he doesnt want you to find out that he had no idea this was a date

and now hes really worried about how he looks like wtf who shows up to a date in slippers why didnt he put rEAL SHOES ON

when you guys are outside he offers to take you to get coffee or ice cream or smth and you give him a look bc he literally never wants to do anything except be at home 

aaaand now hes wondering if he misread it again and that its actually not a date

hes having a Bad Time 

finally hes like fuck this and just kinda ,, slaps his hand into yours

its not subtle or cute or soft hes like WHAM and just grabs your hand and keeps walking 

but when you dont do anything except yelp a little from the impact like wtf bro calm down no need for the aggressive hand holding , hes like

,,,,, okay so this is definitely a date right

hes really bad at this give him a break 

you guys are probably going to need to talk after he walks you home bc hes going to be thinking about it all day and not doing much of anything else until he finally calls you bc hes so confused 

overall a complete disaster but he really is trying his best 

iwaizumi hajime

he’s never going to admit this to anyone ever but he asked oikawa about his date idea and also for help picking an outfit 

the second part he didnt actually ask for, tooru is just Completely Committed to the plan 

at first hes like what about dinner and a movie ??? 

and oikawas like

this is why you cant be trusted 

so instead of taking you out for dinner at some stuffy restaurant and then to a movie theater where you cant talk 

oikawas like what if you just invite her over and make dinner and then just make the movie background noise so you guys can actually ,,, you know,,, talk 

and iwa’s like NO THATS SCUMMY SHES GONNA THINK IM BEING SCUMMY

and oikawas like THEN DONT BE SCUMMY ABOUT IT YOU HEINOUS BITCH

they almost threw hands over this conversation but thats for another day

so iwa invites you over and hes so nervous that he almost chops his damn finger off making you dinner 

but somehow he doesnt come off as nervous bc hes iwaizumi hajime 

he looks so calm and collected and charming and sweet

hes making so much conversation and asking you about your day and your life and everything he can think of

and its so damn smooth but really hes trying to distract you from how his hands are shaking bc hes actually just a big nervous dork

and to top it all off hes a great cook hes literally perfect that man 

he asks what movie you want to watch and actually really is begging you silently to pick something you really want to watch so that it doesnt seem like hes just trying to put smth random on before he seDUCES YOU

and right when you guys are sitting down to watch the movie, he looks out his apartment window and boom--

matsuhanakawa 

hes on the third floor how the fuck are they outside his window 

where did they get that ladder

how do they all fit on it at once 

the world may never know

and then his entire cool composure comes crashing down and hes like 

OI FUCK YOU GUYS 

angry iwa-chan stomping over to the window

he really could have done that better he totally could have ignored them

nope hes seeing red and chewing them out at the window 

but youre laughing your ass off bc there goes your date, once charming and calm, off to whoop some ass 

honestly he thinks hes not getting a second date, but how could you not want a second date? hes iwaizumi hajime

[blacktofade]

Hi!! for the prompt thing!! ryan getting so caught up with other things that he doesn’t realize shane is slowly slipping away ?? im really into angst with happy ending or hurt/comfort bc im a cotton candy that cant handle too much angst but it’s really up to u!! ☺️☺️☺️

Boy am I late with this one. This isn't even what you wanted, because I like Ryan calling Shane out on his shit.

CW: smoking. Also, pandemic? What pandemic?

*

Shane’s leaning against a retaining wall in the parking lot when Ryan eventually comes to find him. He takes another drag of his cigarette and watches as Ryan steps out of the building, tucking his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and drawing his shoulders in against the cold as he glances around, clearly knowing Shane is nearby, but not knowing where.

When he spots Shane, his expression opens, a smile spreading across his face.

Shane tips his head in acknowledgment, turning slightly to the left to exhale a breath that’s a mix of smoke and condensation.

“Hey,” Ryan says, when he’s close enough. “Thought I’d find you out here.”

Shane knocks ash off the end of his cigarette and offers him a smile. “Needed a break.”

Ryan lets out a quiet laugh. “What, you don’t like the office packed with thirty more people than it can reasonably fit?”

Shane snorts. “You said the more the merrier when we planned this winter party.���

“I think I underestimated things,” Ryan says, his shoulders seeming to loosen, and Shane shrugs.

“I dunno. It seems fitting for our first year.”

Ryan laughs again and nods. “It’s been — chaotic.”

“Understatement,” Shane grunts.

“We did okay, I think,” Ryan tells him, or perhaps tells himself, and Shane grunts again. Ryan lets out a huff of laughter. “What? You’d do something differently if you redid this year?”

“Sounds like a topic for Steven’s next employee survey,” Shane jokes, but Ryan keeps watching him, as though waiting for an answer.

“But would you have changed anything?”

Shane hesitates. “Seems like a loaded question.”

Ryan doesn’t say anything and Shane takes another drag of his cigarette and exhales away from him to be polite.

“You okay?” Shane asks after a moment, because it seems like the right thing to do.

Ryan still doesn’t say anything, but instead holds out his hand, silently requesting Shane’s cigarette.

It’s not a good sign.

The last time Ryan had smoked in front of Shane had been over one too many drinks after contract negotiations with BuzzFeed. Ryan’s hands had been shaking too much to light the cigarette and Shane had needed to do it for him.

Ryan takes a draw, coughing almost immediately and making Shane laugh before he can help himself.

“Smoking’s bad for you,” Shane deadpans and Ryan doesn’t react, but touches a thumb to the corner of his own mouth as though thinking.

He takes another drag, not coughing this time.

“Do you ever feel like you have to choose between things?” Ryan asks, taking Shane off guard.

“Like red or white wine?” Shane tries to joke, but it doesn’t land and Ryan silently passes his cigarette back.

“No, between work and life.”

Shane scratches at his stubble and taps away a little more ash. “If you’re having issues with work-life balance, you should tell Steven.”

Ryan lets out a laugh that sounds slightly self-deprecating. “No, that’s not — that’s not what I mean.”

“Well, I can’t read minds, Ryan.”

Shane takes one last drag of his cigarette and stubs it out against the concrete wall behind, exhaling while Ryan seems to think about what it is he’s trying to say. Carefully, Shane wets his fingers on his tongue and pinches at the end of the cigarette until it’s cool enough to slip back into the packaging to throw away later, and puts the carton in his pocket.

“It's been a really good year,” Ryan finally says after a long moment, though Shane can hear the but in his voice. "But it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

Shane’s stomach sinks. “Avoiding you?”

“When was the last time we did anything outside of work?”

Shane wants another cigarette already, just for something to do with his hands. Instead, he tucks them into the pockets of his chinos.

He doesn’t answer Ryan, but only because he can’t remember the last time.

“You barely even text me unless it’s work related,” Ryan presses.

Shane knows what he’s talking about. He won’t deny that. But it doesn’t make it easier.

“It’s a startup,” Shane tries. “We’re gonna be busy for a while.”

“Shane, don’t bullshit me.”

Shane takes his advice and shuts his mouth.

“Are you avoiding me?” Ryan presses and Shane lets out a sigh.

“If we spend all day working together and hang out after, you’ll get sick of me.”

Ryan watches him and Shane knows he has his answer.

“This is literally no different from what we had before at BuzzFeed,” Ryan points out and Shane shakes his head.

“This is legally binding now.”

Ryan laughs like he thinks Shane is the most ridiculous person ever, which he probably does. “You say that like we got married.”

“We did a little bit.”

“If I have to call you my work husband, I’m going to quit,” Ryan threatens and Shane lets out an unexpected laugh, knowing how much they both hate buzzwords like that.

“Please don’t.”

The silence hangs between them for a moment before Ryan finally asks, “Don’t call you that, or don’t quit?”

“Either,” Shane admits. “Both.”

There’s another long silence before Ryan finally says, “I’m not gonna grow bored of you.”

“I didn’t think you would,” Shane replies with a frown.

“So you just avoided me for other, completely rational reasons?”

That shuts Shane up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryan asks, though Shane knows they both already know the answer to that.

“No,” he says, just to clarify.

“Do you want to try using your words like an adult?”

Shane hates that Ryan’s actually in-tune with his feelings. He sighs and shrugs loosely. “There’s more at stake. If we fight — ”

“If we fight, we’ll talk it out like friends and business partners. Or would you prefer we have blowout arguments that ruin both our friendship and our business?”

Shane sighs again, because he knows Ryan is right. Ryan raises his eyebrows like he knows Shane knows he’s right.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, and realizes after he says it that he actually means it. He’s hated not spending extra time with Ryan, but he’s hated the fear of accidentally losing Ryan even more.

Ryan’s shoulders drop like he’s finally relaxing and he smiles, the blinding smile that he always has for Shane, no matter his mood.

“I wish we’d talked about this sooner,” he admits, “but I could never get you alone.”

Shane rubs the back of his neck and nods. “Yeah, that took some effort. I’m not proud.”

Ryan shakes his head, like he can’t believe the lengths Shane goes to, but he’s still smiling, which gives Shane hope that he hasn’t fucked everything up completely.

“Will you grab dinner with me after work next week?” Ryan asks gently.

There’s a familiar clench in Shane’s stomach — instinctive at this point from trying so hard to avoid everything — but he takes a breath and nods before he can give himself time to back out.

“Yeah,” he says. “We can do that.”

Somehow, Ryan’s smile brightens even more.

“C’mon,” he says, “let’s go back inside before anyone misses us.”

He tugs on Shane’s sleeve, but he doesn’t have to tug hard. Shane follows him willingly.